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threewaywithdelusion · 1 year

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Mike Wheeler's Terrible Summer

This is an excerpt from a long fic I am nowhere near done with. It's about Mike's experience in college, but is really about his struggle with depression, maintaining friendships, becoming a better person, and unlearning some of the things he's been taught. Do I even like Mike? Eh. Do I have almost 24k entirely focused on his life? Absolutely.

This part of the fic is set the summer after Mike's first year of college. El broke up with him a year ago, but he's still in love with her. Will has not come out to Mike, but Mike recently realized (on his own) that Will is gay and is working on coming to terms with that. Mike is also pretty depressed. Trigger warnings for homophobia and suicidal ideation.

~~~

It was easier to pretend to be happy when the jocks were doing their thing, because at least everyone was equally bored.

Some days, the Party would hang out with Steve and Robin. That often meant going over to Steve’s for a movie night or to splash around in his pool (which Steve never got in, even when it was hot as balls outside). But sometimes, that meant going to the park and sitting on the hot metal bleachers while Steve, Lucas, and El ran around playing basketball.

“At least you have something to watch,” Max grumbled.

Will, who’d given up on the goth aesthetic due to the summer heat, passed Max a cigarette. He lit it for her and she relaxed, leaning into Will’s legs where she was using him as a backrest.

It was a strange sight — Will sitting on top of the picnic table, looking carelessly cool — and Max sitting on the bench beneath him, like it wasn’t way too hot to be touching another person right now.

Once upon a time, it had been Will and Mike hanging all over each other. But now, Mike wondered if Max only touched Will so easily because she knew he didn’t like girls. Was that why Will spend so much time with her and El? Was that why Lucas didn’t care that Max draped herself over Will?

Mike wanted to touch Will like he used to and not have it mean anything and he was terrified that that was impossible.

He stared out at the game to distract himself from Will and Max being weird and Robin and Dustin talking about some movie Mike had never seen.

Lucas was playing against Steve and El, with El banned from using her powers, and Mike wasn’t paying enough attention to know for sure, but he thought Lucas might be winning.

Mike had scoffed when Lucas had started to play basketball back in high school. He’d thought Lucas was only doing it to be popular and he’d known that the popular kids were dickheads. Plus, like Eddie, he hadn’t been able to see the point of a game where people tried to get balls through laundry baskets. Where was the plot? The tension? The twists and turns and characters that kept things interesting?

Lucas had briefly considered quitting after the whole basketball team had hunted Eddie for sport, but he’d ultimately decided he loved the game enough to keep playing. It had been a contentious decision at the time. Steve had been his most vocal supporter, but the rest of them had resented the betrayal. Erica hadn’t spoken to Lucas for three whole months, angry that he would play alongside a man who had pinned her to the ground.

It had been rough, but apparently Lucas had made the right fucking choice. He was good. Like really good, not just Hawkins good. His skills had earned him a scholarship to UCLA and he must have been having the time of his life if he was never in his apartment when Mike called.

Mike tried not to resent basketball too hard these days, but it was hard. Lucas had really found his calling or his people or whatever and they weren’t Mike’s calling or Mike’s people. And they didn’t need to all have the same interests, but it had been so easy when they had. Back when hanging out meant comics, the arcade, and DnD and no one had ever felt left out or lost.

But now El liked punk and Lucas liked basketball and Will liked men and Mike felt like he had been left behind, the last man standing in the ruins of their childhood.

It was fucking lonely in the ashes.

Mike forced his scowl back, watching El instead of Lucas. She was wearing black shorts which showed off her long, muscular legs, tan from the summer sun. Her black tank top advertised some kind of band and had a lot of rips in it, showing flashes of skin when she lunged for the ball. She was wearing a pink headband to hold back her bleach-blonde hair and it looked completely incongruous with the rest of the outfit but also weirdly cute in a way Mike felt only Eleven could pull off.

Despite basketball not being her sport, El was really impressive on the court. She was completely unafraid to get up in Lucas’s face even though he was a head taller than her. And Mike knew that Eleven had faced down real monsters, both human and otherworldly, and that it made sense that she wouldn’t be scared of Lucas Sinclair after everything she’d been through. But watching her dive fearlessly for the ball, or jump to block Lucas’s shot on goal, Mike couldn’t help but be amazed by her.

“Steve just scored on Lucas,” Robin narrated to Max. “He’s doing a really embarrassing victory dance and I’m considering a divorce.”

Max laughed. “What’s Lucas doing?”

“They’re playing the next round now,” Robin said. “Lucas has the ball - he’s trying to get past El. She’s trying to grab it and — ooh! Lucas did one of those jump-score moves where he touches the rim of the basket.”

“I think it’s called a layover,” Dustin said.

Max groaned. “Listening to you nerds describe basketball is painful.”

“We’re doing a good job!” Dustin protested.

“How come you can memorize a million different nerd-terms for DnD, but you can’t remember what a lay-up is called?” Max asked.

“They’re just trying to get a ball in a hoop,” Mike said. “Why do they need so many different terms when there’s just one objective?”

“I could ask the same thing about DnD,” Max said. “Isn’t the point just to win the campaign?”

"The point isn't just to win the campaign!" Mike said through gritted teeth. "You also-"

“They’re coming over,” Will said before Mike could explain DnD to Max.

Indeed, the three athletes were heading for the edge of the court, all dripping sweat. Steve and El immediately grabbed their water bottles, but Lucas went up to Max.

“How’s it going?” he asked her.

“I don’t know,” Max said. “These idiots couldn’t describe a basketball game to save their lives. Are you winning?”

“Yeah,” Lucas said with an easy smile. “17-12.”

“The student has become the master,” Steve said, pouring water over his head. El watched him as he did so, rapt, and Mike scowled.

“A long time ago!” Lucas teased. “When was the last time you beat me?”

Robin laughed and Steve pouted. “Supergirl and I will beat you by the end of the summer.”

“We should switch teams,” El suggested. “You and Lucas against me. But I can use powers.”

Steve raised his eyebrows and exchanged a look with Lucas. “That might be too hard.”

“No, that sounds fun,” Dustin said. “We just have to come up with rules for how El can use her powers so it isn’t ridiculously unfair.”

Steve snorted. “Okay, Henderson, tell me a good rule to keep El’s literal superpowers fair in a game.”

Dustin floundered for a minute. “I- I have to learn how basketball works first, I guess.”

Steve rolled his eyes.

“I can do it,” Max said, looking excited. “I know a lot about basketball and El’s powers.”

Lucas took one look at Max’s face and said, “Okay, we’ll do a game at the end of the summer. Me and Steve against El, using whatever rules Max comes up with.”

“Are you sure you won’t be biased?” Mike asked Max.

Max crossed her arms. “Towards who? Lucas or El?”

“Or Steve,” Steve suggested quietly, making Robin and Max snort.

Mike had meant Lucas, but he said, “El, obviously.”

“Obviously?” Max echoed.

Mike grinned. “Weren’t you just telling me that you’re always Team El?”

Max flipped him off. “Fuck you. Breakup rules don’t apply to basketball. Or are you Team Lucas?”

“Fuck off,” Mike said. “Team El and Team Lucas were the same thing when we were talking about dating.”

“They’re still the same thing,” Max said. “And I’m perfectly capable of coming up with unbiased rules for El to use her powers to play.”

“I guess we’ll see,” Mike said, just smarmy enough to be taunting.

“Yes, you will,” Max answered, teeth bared in what could be a grin but looked more like a challenge.

“Are you two… friends?” Steve asked, sounding dumbfounded.

“No!” Mike and Max snapped together.

The others looked wide-eyed between them. El was examining them closely and Will looked bewildered.

“Okay,” Steve said awkwardly. “Water break over. Let’s finish the game.”

He tried to press a kiss to the top of Robin’s head but she shrieked and batted at him, telling him to keep his sweat far away from her. Steve grinned unapologetically and headed back to the court, Eleven on his heels.

Max let Lucas kiss her and then Lucas was pouring water over his head the same way Steve had done. Will eyed Lucas as he lifted the hem of his shirt to wipe the water off his face and Mike grimaced. Had Will ever looked at him like that?

Lucas clearly noticed Will’s attention and Mike tensed, wondering what was going to happen. But Lucas just grinned teasingly at Will and ran back onto the court.

Like it didn’t even matter.

Mike grabbed the cigarette out of Max’s hands and brought it to his lips as she screeched “hey!” He took a drag, only to end up coughing.

Holy shit. They did this for fun?

“Loser,” Max said. She put her hand out and Mike handed her the cigarette, still coughing.

“Why do you do that?” he asked.

It was Will who answered. “It’s a big part of the social scene at Parsons. We don’t really have a campus, so people just stand around in the doorways to the buildings, smoking. It’s how you make friends.”

Huh. Maybe Mike should take up smoking. He’d always figured it was a lie that doing drugs got you friends — he’d been friends with a drug dealer for a whole year, and the one time he’d asked Eddie for weed Eddie had laughed in his face — but maybe Will was onto something.

“Actually,” Robin said, “smoking has been proven to cause cancer. So it’s probably good that Mike doesn’t smoke. Those things will kill you.”

“Something has to,” Max said, missing the concerned look Will shot her.

“Let me try again,” Mike said. He held out a hand to Will, who looked surprised.

They stared at each other for a long moment.

Really? Will’s expression read.

Yeah, Mike said.

You don’t have to.

Give me a damn cigarette.

Will sighed and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He shook one out and passed it to Mike.

“Seriously?” Dustin asked, sounding disapproving. “Robin’s right about the cancer.”

“It’s his choice,” Will said with a shrug, passing over a lighter. “You have to inhale while you light it.”

Mike did. The cigarette tasted terrible, like swallowing a mouthful of ash. He coughed up the first few lungfuls before finally managing to take a drag without choking like a child.

It felt different from alcohol. The world felt fuzzier around the edges in a different way.

Mike didn’t know if he liked the feeling. Especially here in Hawkins, where being out of control felt dangerous.

But Max was right. Something had to kill him. And given the choice, Mike would rather it be a cigarette than a monster.

Given the choice, Mike wouldn’t want to be sitting here, surrounded by his friends yet so far apart from them. He wanted to go to sleep. He wanted to slip into a coma and not wake up for ten years. (Did Max ever miss being asleep?). He wanted to have died a hero, killed by Vecna or a Demogorgon, and be fondly remembered instead of miserably alive.

He wanted everything except the life he had, where he didn’t want anything at all.

Mike brought the cigarette to his lips and took another drag.

#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #mike wheeler #will byers #max mayfield #el hopper #lucas sinclair #mia writes fanfic

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monstersinthecosmos · 2 years

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RJ will treat Marius like a saint. He will play therapist/father-in-law to Louis and vouch for his son's innocence and loyalty to Louis. He knows both of his sons fuck Louis so occasional bribery gifts work to preserve his good will.

first of all sorry this is so hot lmfao: He knows both of his sons fuck Louis so occasional bribery gifts work to preserve his good will. 🥵

but no really, like okay here's the thing, and I've said this a few times so I don't want to say it again LOL but obviously everyone can read the same book and we all come out with different ideas about what it meant, based on our lived experiences and tastes, and I think we all knew that the books needed some updates. Not just because they're way too whacky and nonlinear to work smoothly as a TV series, but because there's a lot of outdated tropes & -isms that weren't going to fly.

And like the convergence of those two concepts means that we're gonna get one team's version of the books and also one team's opinion on what needs to be updated.

Like don't get me wrong because Marius is my favorite character in VC (and one of my fav characters in anything ever tbh) but I like him because he's fucking reprehensible. And I would've liked to see a version of him where he's just as charming and soothing and "wise" but where there's no ambiguity about the harm he causes. And like I don't wanna get too deep on Marius meta on a post about RJ & AMC but I think there's a lot of author intent to consider about Marius in the later books and whether or not Anne ever intended to hold him accountable or if she got bored and wanted to write fanfic by the end. That type of inconsistency might be something worth "updating" or worth exploring in a visual medium where we aren't stuck strictly to the interior of someone's POV, and the show is clearly expressing that it wants to play with POVs.

But we all know the types of like, sort of casual surface fans who just enjoy Marius and buy into his bullshit and don't see the harm he's caused, and don't see that he's actually fucking diabolical. I would argue that a lot of these are the same fans who do this to Lestat lmao. (He is, after all, MiniMarius.)

And I'm having a hard time reading what RJ will think of him. On one hand, so many of the decisions made to update the text have been just, overwhelmingly like cishet middle aged white guy decisions. That's exactly Marius's type LMAO. I wouldn't be surprised if they thought he was a saint and portrayed him as a saint, especially bc LET'S BE FUCKING HONEST I don't think they've actually done good research into the entire series, so like he's not thaaaaat bad yet in the trilogy. (There's signs, but, I think we all agree he becomes especially potent in TVA.)

On the other hand!!!!!!!! They've really turned Lestat's abusive behavior up to fucking 3578193587135 so like. Maybe they get it? (tbh I'm still having a hard time sussing out what they intended to be abusive and what they didn't, though. Fucking yikes lmao.)

Plus the lore is so fucking shoddy on AMC I'm curious like what kind of goofy nonsense they'll come up with to create a power imbalance when like idk it feels like all vampires have all powers or some shit like what is Marius going to be able to hold over these guys to impress them?

I also feel like it's hard to gauge what they're squeamish about and what are their standards; ie: aging Claudia up at a glance was OH OKAY SURE LESS GROSS STUFF, but then in reality it was LETS MAKE HER 18 IN LIKE 5 MINUTES AND HAVE HER HYMEN GROW BACK EVERY TIME HER LIL 14 YEAR OLD BODY HAS SEX.

And then in one of the panels RJ made like a kinda dismissive/grossed out comment about Lestat/Gabrielle?

idk man like, update if you need to but I feel like maybe don't commandeer this project if these topics make you squeamish LMAO.

So would they lean into Marius/Armand being predatory? Would they age Armand up so it's not as gross? Will Marius be a saint or will he be so over the top fucking disgusting that he's the no. 1 villain of the show?! Will Armand be aged up but they'll still find a way to make it fucked up?!

It's so hard to say based on RJ's opinions on sexual assault in fiction; like I could see him leaning into it for the shock factor but I could also see him so blithely misreading it that he doesn't see it as an issue in the book at all. Especially because Armand's experience of it doesn't fit neatly into RJ's whole "rape makes you tougher" trope since Armand doesn't ask the reader to think of it as rape. I just worry that this man has such a disconnect with this topic that he wouldn't really see it in the text, idk.

Anyway whew who knows, alls I know is I don't want them to even involve anyone else from canon I cannot stomach this LMAO. I have to keep reminding myself not to dismiss this man/this team as misunderstanding the text because they're educated professionals and keep reminding myself that this is deliberate because they do not care and in the end this is a corporate cash grab and not an artistic project made for us LMAO. And they're already so fucking far off the mark of the books anyway I don't think it's possible to make predictions at all.

#vampire pajama party on amc #im sleepy lol thank god we only have 2 more weeks i need to rest

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neoyi · 1 year

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youtube

I'm not what you'd call a, multi-player online kinda gal. I largely prefer the single player experience, playing my game peacefully in my dark, dank cave, where I'm free to leisurely invest however I want.

So my reaction to Crash Team Rumble was - and still kinda is - lukewarm, I suppose. I've heard long rumors of the supposed "Wumpa League" for months on end, so already used to the whispers of What Might Be, I was prepared for the inevitability of a Crash Online Battle Arena Game.

I mean, I'll buy it, because I'm Boo Boo the Fucking Fool and Crash Bandicoot is my favorite franchise. And like, I guess I'll see how I'll take to the game as more information come along and once I actually play it.

Some other thoughts under the "Keep Reading."

I'm very glad they're sticking with the Crash 4 art style. Nicholas Kale's work is gorgeous and him and the rest of Toys for Bob's artists did a great job modernizing the characters. Like honestly, I think this is the first time I can genuinely say Crash looks adorable (precious iterations were hit-or-miss, personally.)

Shout-out to the Catbat character. According to Nicholas' tweet, he considered them non-binary when designing them. I'm not sure if the final product will reflect that since Kale only designed the character (he stated he has no idea what the end result will be), but I hope this will be the canonical outcome. This series was long overdue for an officially confirmed, queer character.

Okay, if I'm being honest, I'm not sure how long this game will sustain enough of a dedicated player base to introduce new modes, characters, and other doo-dads common in online multiplayer games. CTR: Nitro-Fueled hung on for, what, a good two years of extra content? But I kind of figured they always had an endgame in mind by slowly introducing as many of the previous Crash Bandicoot characters they could alongside complimentary racetracks based on or inspired by the series. It didn't surprise me that the developers stopped while the going was good. A battle arena game could potentially go on for years and years and like, while the Crash fandom is super dedicated, I don't think there's near enough staying power to keep enough interest the way a lot of other heavy-hitting online games (Fortnite, Final Fantasy XIV, etc.) have been doing for far longer. But I'm jumping the gun. I barely know what content will be in the game and what could possibly be brought forth to keep it fresh and interesting to sustain it. I guess my biggest fear right now is, what if they don't offer enough diversity? Bah, still too early for this kind of talk. It's not like I want this game to fail!

I got no guff with Alt. Universe Tawna, but this also makes me miss Original Prime Tawna. The remake games slowly worked to give her a personality and a purpose besides "Crash's Kidnapped Girlfriend", and I want them to keep doing that. I don't like the idea that Alt. Tawna automatically replaces her because I feel it undermines what Prime Tawna is potentially capable of. Can't we have both girls?

Also hell YES, Lady Tropy is in the game. God, I love her.

Look, whatever I feel about Crash Team Rumble, it's probably already gonna be a million leagues better than Crash Bash. That game was a tedious, boring disappointment. The bar is low, people!

I don't expect a deep plot for this kinda game or at least, for Crash Bandicoot, but will they set up a basic premise on why they're collecting these fruits? Enough that allies are fighting amongst each other? Or is this all in good fun? Is it gonna be like Crash Bash where they have to beat each other up because Aku-Aku and Uka-Uka has another bullshit rule or something?

Spyro as an unlockable playable character is inevitable, but my GOD, I feel so sorry for the Spyro fanbase. When will they get their Spyro 4?

Jesus fuck, how the hell am I gonna abbreviate this game? We already had a CTR! I can't call Crash Team Rumble "CTR", too! "CTRu?" "MOBA Crash?" Just "Crash Rumble?" "Cramble??????"

#crash bandicoot #crash team rumble #neoyi talks

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rainybyday · 2 years

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How do you think Digimon Frontier might have gone if the Spirits of Steel, Wood, and Earth had been bequeathed to Ophanimon, the Spirits of Darkness and Water had been bequeathed to Seraphimon, the Spirits of Flame, Light, Ice, Wind, and Thunder had been bequeathed to Cherubimon, and the protagonists had been Katsuharu, Teppei, Chiaki, Teruo, and Koichi (with Kouji joining later)?

don’t know why you might have come to me since I’m not the best to answer this but if you want my opinion and not a professional one I will give you my answer in the best possible way I can. Another thing to note is that while I have watched both sub and dub I remember more and am more familiar with the dub than the sub so my answer will be more akin to the dub rather than the sub. Apologize for that.

To start off, Digimon Frontier would have gone completely different in terms of characters, scenarios, and situations to even the spirits themselves as well as their whole approach to the series entirely.

First of all, if you are implying that Katsuharu, Teppei, Chiaki, Teruo, and Koichi as the team without changing their backstories then it would have gone like this-

Katsuharu would be a phantom leader of sorts with Koichi being the actual leader. He would be someone who would try to make the decisions of the team but in reality, only Teppei would be inclined to follow him at every turn. Katsuharu would hate to feel powerless in the given situation once he knows that he is able to digivole and when he does get his spirits, he will abuse it to an extent. He does care for the others and feels a sort of responsibility towards them but he will try to take the brunt of battling and decision-making which causes a rift between him and the team. Throughout the journey, he has to learn to not only rely on others but also to gain the courage to know that having others rely on him is a heavy burden to bare. He can either be strong and understand that not every decision he makes is right and it's ok to work as a team or that he is weaker than he thought and that his attitude will get someone hurt. He will learn that he won't always be right and that some of his choices might get someone hurt. If anything, he is the person who starts to think of others more and understand that being someone of leadership or power isn't all that up to be.

Teppei is somewhat of a similar boat as Katsuharu, where Katsuharu struggles with being a 'leader' Teppei struggles as a 'follower' at times. He isn't a complete follower who follows others blindly but he is someone to take the words of people he respects or trusts too far. He would back up many of Katsuharu's decisions but when it comes to a situation in which Katsuharu is in trouble or with any other of his teammates he has to learn to fight without someone telling him what to do. He needs to understand that there are times to be a follower but that he also needs to take action all of his own and that not every leader is flawless and all-knowing. Sometimes he needs to think that the orders being said might not be right and a different approach is needed. He learns to voice his thoughts and be an ally rather than someone of the background category.

(there is not a lot with Teruo and Chiaki compared to Teppei and Katsuharu so this is based on their few lines.)

Teruo and Chiaki are similar to each other where Chiaki wants to live in a world of dreams and fantasy while Teruo just wants to get away from boring life. Chiaki would probably won't mind going home as much as Teruo but she just wants to experience something new and exciting. She would think of the world as a fantasy place she reads in books about or sees in stories until she realizes that this world is not a game or a storybook. This is a world in peril and in war, where Digimon have feelings and that their home and lives are at stake. The beautiful world she saw is in danger and she has to wake up to the reality that this world is just like her own world in a sense. Her expectations should not be completely rewritten but she learns to be weary and observant at times. That while the world is beautiful she has to protect it to stay that way.

Teruo, as said before, just wants to get away from a boring life at home. He doesn't mind this new world as long as it gives him the escape from the real world and all of the boring stuff at home. However, just like Chiaki, he will learn that this world will stop his bordum in the worst way possible. While yes this world is fun it is also at war and that there is Digimon is being scanned for their code. He will find that while his new life as a warrior is fun and hard at times, he will learn to appreciate the small moments in life, the calm little moments he used to call boring. He will miss home the most but he is also someone who would think of the digital world as home as well. His lesson from this whole journey is to understand and appreciate every moment because you never know when you might experience it again.

Koichi is the true leader of the group and is like a mother and guide for the children. He is someone who would care for the rest of the team and would be the one to think more logically compared to them. He sees them as his responsibility and will try to care for and shield them as much as possible but will learn that it isn't possible. He needs to learn that not everyone can be shielded in this kind of life. He won't get as much character development until he meets Kouji because that was the whole character goal that made him go to the digital world in the first place. He also does think of Kouji a lot and thinks of him and their family a lot (in this he does make the train and didn't fall from the stairs). He knows he saw Kouji make it to one of the Trailmon and would make it his mission to find him. At the same time, he will think to himself about what their life would have been if they had known each other and what they would have done as twins. He will still hold a certain resentment towards him until he learns who is the other version of the corrupted Lobomon/Wolfmon and Kouji's story.

Kouji will make it to the train and would be corrupted by Cherubimon by using his loneliness against him. Kouji is someone who is a lone wolf type of character, which, works against him since the day he was sent to the digital world was also the day he was finally going to accept his step-mother as his mom. Cherubimon would have used this against him and made it so that he is truly alone and that he has no one to hold onto, not even family as they all have someone else or move on without him. When he does become part of the group it's more of Koichi and Kouji trying so very awkwardly to connect but at the same time afraid and unsure of themselves over how to connect with each other. A forced situation makes it so that they confront each other and realize that they are more alike than they had thought and that they could rely on each other. It gradually goes from there to understand that, yes, Kouji does have a family that cares for him, and slowly that family has just gotten bigger, that he would never be alone. Never again.

(That is until someone has to scarifies themselves for the final battle which I do not want to think about thank you very much.)

But as a team, Katsuharu and Teppei are the loners from everyone else who would later learn to be part of the group. With Teruo and Chiaki, they would learn to be more down-to-earth and understand to see the world from a different viewpoint while both Koichi and Kouji would learn to know that they are both not alone.

This is the barest and most simple way I can describe them as I can because I wrote way too much about Katsuharu and I just know I was going to write everyone an essay each so I shorten it far more.

If you are talking about story-wise then that.... that a whole other bag of nuts that I'm not ready to open.

Now if you are saying that the Spirits of Flame, Light, Ice, Wind, and Thunder were using human vassals of Takuya, Junpei, Tomoki, and Izumi then that is another approach. It’s wouldn’t be about spirits vs children, it would have been an all-out war with children who are either brainwashed or even willing to work Luenmon’s goal of gaining more power and extracting all of the digital world’s code with children who just want to save the world that changed them. To put it mildly.

#digimon frontier #digimon #koichi kizakura #kouji minamoto #legendary warriors #spirits #ask #what if

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walkitoffrogers · 2 years

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knocked me off my feet again | stucky

@redeemablesoldier

One of the things for him to enjoy about his life was his regularly scheduled ass busting sessions with Nat. She was the person he trusted more than anybody as a general rule, as witnessed by the way they regularly beat on each other. He lost as often as he won and he preferred it that way because it meant he was never bored.

Rarely was he distracted, his focus bordering on downright ridiculous at times. Today, though, he'd spotted that guy coming into the gym again. Bucky had a bad habit of getting distracted for a moment nearly every time he walked in. There just happened to be the unfortunate circumstance of Nat swinging at him right then.

The hit connected before he even really registered it was coming. His ears were ringing and he sat down, blinking blearily up at Nat who was smirking at him. "Shove it," he glared at her with not a bit of heat. "Jesus," he shook his head, trying to clear it, blinking when the color in front of him shifted from red to gold.

Mariposa Bay was almost starting to feel normal. Steve liked his roommate and his classes, Ian seemed to be settling in okay, and his job drawing for the school paper was a hell of a lot easier than anything he'd had in Brooklyn. He was a little surprised to have made the baseball team after a couple years of not playing, but he enjoyed the game and sports were a good way to make friends. He liked this gym for its boxing and self-defense classes though, and he tried to come by at least once a week.

Maybe that wasn't the only reason he liked it. He couldn't help the way his eyes immediately searched the room for him, the pretty-eyed one with the cute grin that Steve had never once worked up the nerve to talk to. They shared a class too, so it should have been easy, but he'd never had an easy time talking to people he found attractive. Still, there was no harm in looking, or so he thought. Maybe it was the distraction of someone coming in, but the second their eyes locked, the guy took a punch and went down.

He winced, compelled closer to see if he was okay, even if that had sort of been his fault. The redhead standing over him was smirking, not looking a bit sorry. "Watch over that for me for a minute, handsome? Make sure he doesn't hurt himself," she said to him. He could swear she was snickering as she walked away, Steve assumed to get a First Aid kit. He knelt in front of the guy with an apologetic smile. "Are you okay? That looked like it hurt."

Already, Bucky was plotting his revenge, knowing it had to be possible somehow. The problem with Natasha was that she was so damn slippery, but it was one of the things that had turned them into the friends they had wound up becoming. As his vision cleared, he was feeling a whole lot more forgiving at the face that filled his vision, but he still flipped Nat off around him and hoped he didn't see.

"Jesus, if she keeps clocking me hard enough t'make me see an angel, I might have to let her do it more often," his smile was slow before he chuckled. Reaching up, he gave his jaw a wiggle and tipped his face for him to look. "I'm going to have a good bruise, huh?" It let him let his eyes drift over the lengths of him all curled in front of him and he was appreciative before turning to look at him properly.

"Do you often play surprise caretakers for guys who just got knocked senseless by their best friend?" He held his hand out because there was no way he was going to have this guy right in front of him and let the moment pass him by for a proper introduction. "Bucky."

"Oh. She hit you hard," he laughed softly, heat creeping into his cheeks. It was clearly a cheesy comment made out of delirium, but it was still sweet. It gave him the nerve to reach out when he tipped his face to him, fingers sliding gently along his jaw to check the injury. "Nothing broken, I don't think. But you should get some ice on it before it swells." Unfortunately, he had a lot of experience being punched.

"More often than you'd think. I'm sorry if I distracted you." He smiled as he let his hand fall away. He wasn't positive about it. It had happened fast, but just in case, Steve never wanted people getting hurt over him. "Steve. We, ah-- we have Victorian Lit together. It's nice to meet you, Bucky." He shook his hand, wondering it that gave too much away. That was exactly why Steve shouldn't be allowed to talk to pretty people. There was nothing smooth about him.

He glanced up as the redhead returned and tossed an ice pack at them. He caught it because Bucky didn't seem to be in any condition for catching right now and pressed it gently to his jaw. "Thanks, Florence Nightingale. Think you can you keep an eye on him for a few minutes? My next appointment is here." He followed her gaze to the person standing rather impatiently on a nearby mat. Her slightly evil smile said they'd be sorry for rushing her. "Of course."

"Not that hard," he protested easily, liking the way his cheeks flushed and wondering if it was a regular occurrence. He was hoping he could have the chance to make him do it more often, now that they'd actually gotten to talk to each other. Not his best first showing, but if it already had those slim, strong fingers on his face, he'd take it. He tipped his face a little into his hand because it really did feel nice, callouses in different places than his. "Takes more than a punch from Nat to break my face, trust me," he teased easily, since fights were a regular enough thing.

"Absolutely worth it," Bucky assured him with a smile that clearly said he'd be the best kind of trouble if he'd let him. "I know. You're distracting there too." If the truth happened to work for flirting, it was all the better and Steve was the prettiest distraction he'd seen in a very long time. Considering he'd tried dating Nat and she was terrifyingly gorgeous, that was saying something.

He was grateful Steve caught the icepack cuz he was still just dazed enough it would have been clumsy. "Just go to work, Nat. I bet if I ask real sweet, Stevie here might hang with me til my ears stop ringing. Bye." He gave her a pointed look before narrowing his eyes at the person on the mat who was about to be in for it. "Whatdya say, got time to be my hero for a bit? It is cool if you've got things you need to be doing, don't let me keep you."

"We'll see if you think that when the headache sets in," he chuckled softly. Steve definitely wasn't worth getting punched over, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying being flirted with by a punch drunk stranger. He had no way of knowing if he was always like that or if it was a side effect of being hit, but most people weren't in a *better* mood after being punched.

Bucky smiled like he was made of trouble, and he paused, his own smile slow and full of mischief. "So you're saying I'm affecting your safety and your grades just by being around? That sounds serious." The redhead--Nat--smirked and walked away. She was beautiful and terrifying, and Steve could see how the two had become friends. Gorgeous people usually grouped together, but he hadn't met many of them who also liked to beat each other up.

"Sure. Not a lot of opportunities in life to play hero. I'm kinda liking it," he teased, offering a hand. "Think you can stand? Let's get you somewhere more comfortable." He didn't need more invitation than that to cross out the idea of a workout in favor of staying with him, and he was pleased with Nat for making it easy for them. He hadn't ruled out that it was intentional, another appointment or not. She seemed fully capable of reading a room.

He automatically pulled a face at the idea of the impending headache. He could ignore it's onset until he didn't have a perfect distraction in front of him, he hoped. And if he could get some meds in him before that happened, he might not have to deal with it until much, much later. If getting punched meant this, he'd take a lot more fists to the face.

Oh, but that devilish smile in that angel's face? It only made him want to keep him around more, to figure out just how deep that mischievous streak went. "Absolutely, it's world-shattering," his voice was serious, but his eyes were dancing as he looked at him, officially in Ignore-Natasha-Mode. "I might need you to help me do something about that," he decided.

"You look like a hero type, it works for you," he smiled as he slid his hand into his again. "We can go to the Trainers' space. I can get some medicine to do some pre-emptive work against the headache and swelling, at least." If he leaned into Steve a little more than was actually necessary, he didn't think a single soul alive would blame him.

"World-shattering, huh?" Steve couldn't possibly say that with a straight face, not when his mind went immediately to all the ways he'd like to do exactly that. He wasn't *that* much of an angel, and Bucky was beautiful. "Seems like the only responsible thing," he agreed with a nod. He slowly helped haul him to his feet, wrapping an arm around his waist to steady him once he was up.

He huffed a quiet laugh as they made their way toward the back. "*You* look like trouble." Steve wasn't thinking trouble was such a bad thing at the moment. He doubted Bucky actually needed his help to get there and into a chair, but he'd been entrusted with looking after him, and Steve took that role seriously whether or not he happened to be a gorgeous human being.

The First Aid cabinet was marked, so he made himself at home looking for the pain killers and a bottle of water from the mini-fridge with the quick efficiency of someone who was used to taking care of others. His mom had been a nurse, and with as often as he and Ian had been bullied growing up, he'd picked up a lot. "What else do you need?"

There was no world in which Bucky would turn down having his world shattered by a golden angel with a tarnish on his halo. No one could smile like that and be purely well-behaved, he was just wanting to see more and more how much of not-an-angel Steve was. "Do you always do the responsible thing?" He couldn't help but be curious as he leaned into him.

"Oh, I am trouble," he admitted with a low, dark laugh that was filled with the way he wanted to be trouble in that moment. It was hard not to, with the warmth of him that close and realizing he was drop dead gorgeous no matter what distance he was looking at him from. Up close was dangerous because he could see exactly the spot that made him want to nibble on his bottom lip and he had to rein that thought in in a hurry.

Settling in a chair, he watched him move around the space, his eyebrow raising lightly at how accustomed he seemed to be with First Aid kits. "Your phone number so I can take you out for dinner," he answered without missing a beat.

It was a complicated question. Steve had been doing the responsible thing for as long as he could remember, taking care of his brother and his mom, working full time, putting off university until Ian had graduated so they could go together. He wasn't sorry about any of those things. They'd all been the right call. The irresponsible side of him came out in the fights when he was younger, and while he'd learned to pick them more carefully or fight in other ways besides using his fists, there were still things that triggered that hot headedness. "Usually," he decided with a small smile.

Getting involved with a guy he barely knew anything about in his first month of school was hardly the responsible thing, but he'd already decided he didn't care. He didn't care if Bucky was serious about this or if he planned to sleep with him and ghost him, making the rest of the school semester painfully awkward. He was allowed this one thing for himself, right? Even if it wasn't the smartest move? That laugh sent a shiver down his spine, and he knew there was no chance he'd turn that down if it was offered.

That directness took him slightly off guard, but it was refreshing to know exactly what was happening. Subtle flirting had a tendency to go right over Steve's head, and he was really bad at trying to return it. "Okay. Where are we going?" He smiled, putting both bottles in easy reach for him on the table and taking the seat next to his. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and slid that across the table for him as well.

He could tell that the question wasn't actually an easy one by the consideration out of the other. It only made him that much more curious about him, which was helping nothing when it came to him trying to somewhat behave himself. "See, now that makes me really want to be trouble for you," he shook his head, liking the way he could keep bringing honesty into this.

Sure, Bucky was a flirt, and he'd taken a turn or two at the one night stand. It wasn't his thing, not really, and he really didn't like quick burnouts. Could he guarantee this would be anything else? Nope, because he didn't know Steve that well yet, but more and more, he thought it would definitely be worth it to try and find out. He hadn't had somebody make his palms itch with the need to get his hands on them, not like this.

His eyes were trained on his face as he made the request, ignoring the bottles in favor of the phone as that dark smile of trouble crossed his face again. "Indian food, because they've got everything even if you're vegan." He tapped his number into his phone and texted himself so he had his. "Got any plans tonight? I would have asked for a few nights from now, but I don't want to. Screw convention." He handed his phone back before cracking open the water bottle and downing a few pain killers, watching him over the bottle.

"I think I could use a little trouble." One night stands weren't typical for Steve either. He didn't usually have an interest in sleeping with people he didn't know and like, but he was finding that first one blurry in this case. He already liked Bucky, and he'd like to get to know him better too. Normally, the kinds of people who tried to pick him up at the gym weren't interested in having dinner, but he was trying not to put too many expectations into this.

"I'm not, but that's considerate of you. I like Indian." He smiled as he heard the answering buzz of his phone and tucked it back into his pocket. "When you're feeling better, Buck," he said gently, shaking his head. "Normally I would agree, screw convention. But you're going to need to rest when that headache kicks in. I'm free tomorrow though, if you want." He didn't really want to wait to see him again either, and since Bucky wasn't being shy about that, he saw no reason to be.

His answer pulled that slow smile back across his face, approval and intent to be just that clear. "Then I will be very happy to provide." He'd learned not to have too many expectations, otherwise you were bound to get hurt. But he could make plans and have hope for the best while planning for the worst. Golden boy didn't seem like the type to just disappear on him though, since he got the feeling this wasn't anything he did often, giving in to the guy hitting on him in the gym.

"Okay, good, makes future plans easier," he grinned easily, entirely casual about how he'd decided to say it wasn't just for a one night intention. Sure, he'd happily climb him like a tree and enjoy the hell out of himself for a night, but it wasn't what he was after. "Golden boy," he muttered in resigned disappointment at him being the well-behaved responsible one. He'd be worth the headache. "Tomorrow, then. Early dinner, since you're making me wait," he requested, teasing.

"Oh, we're making future plans? In that case, I like Italian, Disney movies, and art museums too." It was impossible not to return that smile, especially with the possibility of more than one date with him. There was no telling if they'd even like each other enough for a second date, but it was nice to know Bucky was thinking there might be one. Usually, Steve was the guy with a plan. It was nice to have someone else thinking ahead.

He burst out laughing at the nickname. It was just so far off the mark, he couldn't help himself. He was a poor orphan from Brooklyn, a nobody. "Sorry, I-- no, I think you have the wrong idea about me. I'm not a golden anything. I'm just a kid from Brooklyn." He shook his head, amused by it even if it was wrong. Steve usually just let people think what they wanted about him, but in Bucky's case, he found himself wanting him to know who he really was. "Early dinner. Baseball practice is usually over by five."

"Perfect. I like Mexican, sci-fi movies, and science museums," fair was fair, and he was already tucking the information away to be used at first opportunity. It was hard to imagine not wanting a second date with the guy, if this interaction was anything to go by. It wasn't like there was a shortage of things to do or beautiful people to look at, but no one had caught his attention the way he had, so he wanted to make everything out of it that he could.

Bucky's eyebrow raised slowly at the protest. "You sure about that? Because a guy who drops everything to help someone he didn't know who got cold-cocked and manage to just take care of him despite every advance, we're ignoring your agreement to my date, by the way because that's just sweet, certainly fits Golden Boy to me. Plus, look at you. Damn perfect angel face and I can stare at it for days," he informed him as casually as if giving him directions across campus. "Perfect. I can can pick you up at six, if you want? But you can bet I'll be sitting antsy at five forty-five."

"Good to know." He grinned, pleased to learn some of his favorite things. He'd like to make good use of those moving forward. Steve could easily be persuaded for a day of science and art museums. It actually sounded like the cutest date he'd never been on. He didn't really believe they'd flare out after one, not when he'd be glad to just sit here and learn more of his favorites.

"Alright, but I still think you're setting the bar a little low." He shook his head slowly, but he didn't see the point in arguing. The first one Steve considered common decency, and the second was at least as much to his own benefit. He didn't have any control over his face, but he was glad that Bucky liked it. He couldn't help a smile at how damn cute he was. "Then pick me up at 5:45." It wouldn't take him an hour to shower and be ready, especially if he didn't have to get somewhere.

A lot of people took a look at Bucky and put him into one of two categories, occasionally lumping them together: Trouble or Jock. Neither was accurate, and that was what made it so damn funny. But spending a day wandering museums and getting to listen to Steve sounded like one helluva way to spend a day and he was looking forward to it.

"My bar, pal, I'll put it where I like," he chuckled, his Brooklyn slipping out like it did when he was relaxed and comfortable. It baffled his family that it still existed and he liked it. He smiled and laughed, "See, now that you said that, I'll be sitting antsy at 5:30 and that's just sad. But, happily."

He was getting both of those vibes from Bucky. After he'd hit a growth spurt, he'd had no trouble blending in with the jocks in high school, but there were parts of that culture that Steve, with his complete intolerance to bullies, just couldn't handle. He was one of them, but they weren't really his people. Trouble wasn't his usual, but he could already tell there was more to Bucky than either of those things. He liked science museums, for heaven's sake. That was closet nerd behavior, and he found it adorable.

"You sound like a New Yorker too." He tipped his head, interested. He sounded like Brooklyn, but that was too much of a coincidence, wasn't it? That Steve would find the one person in this city who felt like home? He gave a warm laugh, gently shaking his head. "Then pick me up at 5:30, and I'll be fast." He couldn't go any earlier without inviting him into the shower. As tempting as that was, it wasn't the tone he wanted to set for their first date. Not when it sounded like there would be a second.

Sure, he could be trouble for people when he really wanted to be, and he liked sports, but he didn't really think about them. Trouble for the sake of fun for everyone and trouble for clarity were usually what he went for in trouble. But the reality was that he was happiest in a library or a movie theater or a workshop, living his best nerd life. That part, people only saw when they actually took the time to get to know him.

"Brooklyn, but I"m a military kid. So lots of moving happened," he shrugged lightly like it didn't matter. In some ways, these days, it really didn't but there was always going to be a love for Brooklyn he'd never shake. It was on the tip of his tongue to tease him, to watch those cheeks go pink for him, but that could wait. "You make it real hard to say no to that," he chuckled. "Alright, 5:30. At the locker rooms, yeah?"

"Sounds rough. Was that your favorite place?" If he'd held on to any of it, it was hard to imagine he'd hated it. Steve had never really imagined leaving Brooklyn until there was nothing left for them there. He still carried the ache of missing it with him and suspected he always would. Even now, he couldn't promise it was permanent and that he wouldn't someday decide to go back on better terms. It was a hard city to beat for art and publishing.

"Yeah." He smiled, already looking forward to it. If Bucky was picking him up there, then half an hour was plenty of time. It would give him tonight to explain it to Ian and make sure he was good on his own for dinner. Steve had dated in high school, but there hadn't been room in his life for anything serious in the past few years. "Now we've got that settled, you feeling okay?" It was slightly teasing, given the way Bucky had steered them off topic last time he asked, but the concern was real.

The fact that Steve was from New York, this golden boy who'd caught his attention so damn easily and kept it, even from a distance, made him smile happily. "Yeah, it was. Hard to beat New York as a whole, but yeah," he nodded, always hoping he could go back. Maybe one day to just stay, but that was a fight he was going to have to wage and he knew it, if he wanted it any time soon.

"Perfect," he was trying not to let the ridiculous excitement take over and he knew he was going to have to leave right after he wanted time to just enjoy it and not be quizzed to death by his best friend. "Date with you set up and my ears aren't ringing anymore, so yeah," he chuckled, already feeling the ache of it setting in. "She's gonna give me hell for this for months, I swear."

"And Brooklyn in particular," he agreed with a soft laugh. He couldn't imagine living anywhere else if he ever went back to NYC. He had at least four years to decide though, while Ian got his bachelor's. Steve would be out of school in two, but the idea of leaving without his brother never even crossed his mind. That was all the family he had left, and he'd never leave him on his own.

"Except for the getting punched part, sounds like you're winning." He grinned. Steve wasn't sure he was worth all that, but he was just as excited as Bucky seemed to be about the chance to go out with him. "If she left you with me on purpose, that's a helluva wingwoman you've got." He couldn't have said if the punch was intentional for that purpose, or if she had simply taken the opportunity once it was in front of her, but either way, it was... skillfully handled. Almost frighteningly so, if Bucky himself hadn't been so warm and sweet.

"Oh, I am definitely winning," he agreed with a laugh, because the headache he'd have in about half an hour was going to be worth every bit of it. Something told him that Steve was very much worth getting punched over. He'd spent his whole life watching people, studying them, picking them apart in his head when he wondered why they did the things they did. Some people just read good and he was definitely one of them.

Snorting, he shook his head slowly. "Natasha does everything on purpose. My screwup was leaving her an opportunity to actually hit me because she will always take it." He would always take any chance he had at laying her out too, so it was entirely fair. He just hadn't found what was going to distract her yet, but someone would, eventually. "But yeah, she's the best."

Steve didn't know if he was good, but he always tried for good, especially for the people he cared about. Whether or not he hit the mark was another matter. "Happens to all of us," he assured him with a small, sympathetic smile. He'd been punched more than his fair share, on the mat and off of it. Nobody could keep their guard up all the time. He wasn't even trying to keep a wall up with Bucky.

"How did you meet?" At a glance, the friendship seemed like an odd one. She was vaguely terrifying, and Bucky had been nothing but sweet, and he was assuming there was more to both of them that included some kind of crossover between the two. She wasn't just a sparring partner. He'd said best friend, an important relationship Steve had never really had, unless his brother counted.

Bucky had met plenty of people who didn’t even try for good, so Steve was automatically above a chunk of the population as far as he was concerned. “Yeah, but after this long I know better.” It just showed how distracted he was by Steve and he wasn’t sure how to handle that beyond taking him out because it was like an itch under his skin. There was no point in trying to put a guard up, it wouldn’t stick and he knew it.

The question made him laugh at the memory. “She was in my Russian class my first semester, and I was dumb enough or brave enough, probably both if we’re being honest, to ask her out. We tried it and failed, gloriously, but we knew too much about each other at that point. So it was either death or friendship.” He wouldn’t trade her for anything, even if their start was unconventional. “Now, we beat the shit out of each other a couple times a week between training our victims, I mean, clients,” his smile was sharp, the bit of him that enjoyed a good fight rising.

"I can't promise to use that power only for good. But I will try to save it for when you're off the mat," he laughed softly. Steve had been taking boxing and self-defense since high school, but he never enjoyed watching people get hurt. He still felt a little bad about distracting him at such a crucial moment, but he was doing his best to make it up to him now. He could admit that distracting him in the future in other, more pleasant ways had possibilities.

"Both, I think," he agreed with a chuckle. Natasha was terrifyingly beautiful. So was Bucky for that matter, but his demeanor was a lot more approachable, at least now that Steve had had an actual conversation with him. He was friendly. He didn't think that was a word he'd put to Nat even if they got to know each other. "Not the worst way to break up." He preferred to end on friendly terms if possible, but it was hard to imagine being best friends with one of his exes. "Oh, you work here too. I guess I don't need to ask why." That devilish smile said plenty.

“I don’t mind being distracted by you,” he shook his head with a little laugh. It happened often enough that he was used to it, even if he’d managed to not get punched before. He didn’t know if the distraction would be better or worse now that he actually knew him. Either way he didn’t really care.

“Then definitely both,” he grinned, entirely unrepentant. He could hide a lot behind that grin and often did, but he wasn’t feeling the usual need to hide himself. He didn’t even tend to call Nat nice, and he adored the hell out of her. “No, definitely not.” Bucky tended to either stay friends or completely cut off, there was no real middle ground. “Gotta pay the bills somehow.”

"I'd love to distract you." It came out low and playful and before he'd fully thought it through, but as always with Steve, it was just honest. As pleasant as it was to be distracting him by accident, to be noticed by the person he'd noticed and thought beautiful, distracting him on purpose had to be a lot more fun for both of them. If a distraction was all they were to each other, he could live with that. For now.

It was an interesting story in the way it gave him some context for what had happened today. Maybe Bucky did this kind of thing all the time. He was handsome and charming and funny and apparently not a bit shy, so that was hardly a surprise. "Nice to do something you're good at too, and obviously enjoy." He'd observed him enough before now to have a sense of how he fought, and he was as dangerous as Natasha in his own way.

That sent a straight up shiver down his spine and he absolutely wanted to find out just how distracting he could really be. "Anytime, sweetheart," his response came out in kind and he couldn't even be bothered by it. He wasn't thinking of him anywhere near just a distraction and he wanted him to be more than that. He wanted to know him, every way that he could.

Bucky definitely didn't go getting distracted like that by just anybody. He hadn't gotten distracted like this by Natasha, couldn't remember a time he did. Giving people his full attention, wanting to date them the way he wanted to with Steve, that was a rarity. "I think I'd go crazy if I didn't like what I did," he admitted. It had taken him until the semester before to finally do what he wanted and not what was expected of him. "Do you just do the baseball and student thing?"

"I'll take you up on that." If he wasn't more concerned about Bucky's well-being, he would have been tempted to do just that now. Getting to know him held just as much appeal though, and Steve was of the opinion that anyone worth having was also worth waiting for. Still, he knew exactly what all his daydreams would be about until he got to taste those lips for himself.

In general, Steve didn't get hung up on people. Most of his dating had been someone else's idea, since he was slow to like someone and slower to act on it. Bucky was exceptional in every way so far. "No, I work at the school paper. Comic artist." The job made him happy, and it was at least a step toward what he actually wanted to do. He'd been drawing for as long as he could remember, making up characters for Ian and illustrating his brother's stories when he got older.

"I really hope so," he admitted with a slow smile. It was more than a little tempting to do something that would keep him distracted until his date, solidly. But, he wanted to do this well, to make every step of it worth everything in between. He wasn't one for rushing the good things. And Steve? Well, something told him that he could be a very good thing.

Most of his actual dating life was a result of Natasha's meddling, and even sitting here with Steve now could partially apply. She was good at cutting people out of interactions if she was inclined. She was equally adept at maneuvering people exactly where she wanted them. "Comic artist, huh? I am not surprised." He smiled, his eyes skimming over Steve's hands and remembering the feeling of his fingers on his face.

Steve was already going to be distracted until their date, and he'd be surprised if it ended then. Bucky had a face he'd love to draw or kiss or both, and talking to him only made it worse. He was clever and interesting, a little mysterious. It was a mystery he'd like to spend time getting to the bottom of.

He already got the sense that if Natasha didn't approve if him, he wouldn't be sitting here right now. That was flattering, since she seemed like the sort of person who didn't give her approval easily. He'd try not to do anything to ruin that, but it was mostly for Bucky's sake. "You're not?" He raised his eyebrows, wondering what about him in his gym gear said artist.

If Nat hadn’t been inclined to let Steve near him while they were in the gym, she wouldn’t have. But he’d made no secret about his curiosity and attraction to the man. He was glad they were getting the chance for this, that they had a date coming. The more they talked, the more he was sure there wasn’t going to be any getting him out of his system.

“No,” he shook his head with a smile before reaching over and gently taking his hand. He flipped it so it was palm up and brushed his fingertip gently along one of his fingers. “Your callouses. How an artist holds things isn’t the same as writers, or people who spend a lot of time on a computer.” Bucky was a quick study to begin with, but he’d felt them when he’d held his face earlier.

His expression was curious as he gave him his hand. For once, they weren't covered in ink or paint or graphite. A small shiver ran through him at the gentle touch as he traced his calluses. "You were paying attention," he said, soft and teasing. It was more observant than most people were, and while people might have noticed the calluses, he doubted they'd make the connection to what they were for.

He ran his thumb gently over his hand, unable to resist as long as he was close enough, and then he took Bucky's hand in his. He gently outlined the scars on his knuckles that were obviously from fighting. Steve had matching ones, faint but always there. Then he flipped his hand as he'd done, lightly tracing his calluses. "What are yours from?"

A little laugh that he knew was slightly pained despite himself escaped him. "Of course I was," he murmured, too many times getting distracted watching his hands from a distance later. He watched people, on a level that most people never would, long-bred caution and curiosity intertwining. It was one of the reasons he and Natasha got on so well and probably part of why they'd crashed and burned.

The soft brush of his thumb made him smile softly and his hand relaxed for him, always holding on to some kind of tension. There were fresh scrapes on his knuckles amidst the scars that littered his hands. Yes, there were the ones from fighting, but there were nicks and gouges and rough spots everywhere. "Tools," he answered quietly, "Tools and metal."

"Why didn't you say something?" The question was quiet and curious, no judgement in it. Steve had his own reasons for not approaching Bucky and assumed he did too, but he wondered if they were the same. He'd noticed him too, in the way he noticed pretty or interesting people that he might want to draw, but it didn't hurt him the way it seemed like it had hurt Bucky.

"Fixing or building? Or both?" He smiled, interested to know how he spent his time when he wasn't here or in class. He wanted to know everything. He wrapped his fingers around Bucky's and brought them to his lips, brushing a gentle kiss over one of the scrapes on his knuckles before he let them go. He wanted to kiss all of them and the bruise slowly blooming on his jaw, to start with.

"Hey, beautiful stranger, your hands distract me in class and I really like watching you walk past me in the gym." The words were teasing, a little self-deprecating, and a dance around the truth without being a lie. That wasn't a truth for first proper conversations, if ever, unless this lasted. "Which, both of those things are true, very true." His smile was lighter, now, as his eyes drifted over his face.

"Both," he told him, his breath catching at the soft kiss to his knuckles. It was unexpected and so damn painfully sweet it made his chest clench. "Damn it, Golden Boy," he murmured softly before leaning forward and brushing his lips along his jaw. "You are a test in self-control that I am going to fail, aren't you?" It was more of an observation and less of a question as he sat back.

"I've heard worse opening lines," he laughed softly. Steve didn't think he would have been put off no matter how Bucky had decided to approach him. He was sorry it had come to violence, but he couldn't be sorry that it had happened at all. He could also tell that wasn't the whole truth, and while he was curious to know what it was, he didn't want to push him. Bucky didn't owe him answers, or anything at all.

For a moment, he worried he'd overstepped. They'd known each other for an hour, maybe, so Steve couldn't really blame him. Then Bucky was leaning into his space, his lips soft against his jaw, and his breath stopped for a moment. He badly wanted to hold him there and find out what those lips felt like on his, but he let him pull away. "If it's any consolation, it's a test of mine too."

He smiled, the uptick in voices outside indicating an end to the classes. "And on that note, I should probably go. The longer I stay, the more likely I'll fail, and something tells me you're worth waiting for." He didn't really want to leave, but it was true, and he needed to meet Ian for dinner. He didn't know how he was going to explain the date to his brother. It had been the two of them against the world for so long.

That made him grin slowly, curious as to how it would have gone down outside of the gym if he'd ever let himself do it. "Hey, I think mine was pretty damn unique," he chuckled, happy to poke fun at himself for the moment. "Besides, angel, that's one helluva way to make an entrance into a guy's life," he pointed out. No matter what, it was gonna stick with him, he knew that.

It was nearly painful to force himself to sit back from him, especially with those lips of his right there. He caught the way his breath caught and it gave him a little satisfaction. The words only added to it. "That helps, actually. Because maybe now you'll be as distracted as me all day tomorrow." He could only hope.

Hearing the noise rise, he knew he was right. "I'd hate for you to fail at anything," he mused softly, helping by standing up and holding out his hand to help him do the same, but also just for the excuse to touch him again. "I'll see you tomorrow, Steve."

"Definitely unforgettable," he agreed with a soft laugh. It would be a cute story to tell if they were ever in a position to tell it. Steve was still sorry he'd gotten hurt over it though. He wasn't worth Bucky's pain, especially when there were a hundred other ways they could have started a conversation. The word angel struck him momentarily speechless, and the rest of the words weren't helping. He hoped he had made an entrance into his life. More than he should have, for someone he barely knew.

"I'd say I wanted to make an impression, but I think that was mostly hers," he teased gently. A literal impression in his face, anyway. "I don't know how I'm going to think about anything else." He grinned, shaking his head as he took his hand and got to his feet. "Tomorrow." He nodded, throwing caution out the window again as he leaned forward, brushing a soft kiss against his injured jaw. "Please take care of yourself between now and then," he requested softly. Already, he couldn't stand the idea of him being hurt.

The pain was vastly overshadowed by the angel delivered to him by his red-headed devil of a best friend. He couldn't be assed to care about the hurt in the face of everything that had come after that. "Nah, she was capitalizing on the opportunity you gave her. Don't give her too much credit," he teased lightly, knowing he was still going to buy her a ridiculous bottle of vodka and pay for a mani/pedi for her in thanks.

"Good, then you'll be just as antsy as me when I come pick you up." There was something reassuring about that, to know that it was far from one-sided. He held his breath when he leaned close, trying to keep himself from being really dumb and reckless. He was worth the time and all the good things. Lifting his hand, he slid his knuckles along the line of his jaw, mirroring where he'd kissed Bucky's. "I'll do my best," he agreed. "Go, before I kiss you." He tipped his head at the door lightly, his eyes drifting over Steve's face like he was memorizing it already.

#chat: bucky #redeemablesoldier #college!verse #knocked me off my feet again

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greywoodrpg · 9 months

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𝕜𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕟 𝕓𝕒𝕩𝕥𝕖𝕣

he appears as though he was born twenty-four years ago, he is a witch and lives in downtown and is unemployed, and is in no coven. he looks an awful lot like logan lerman.

“I have the feeling of being born long, long ago; I drag my life like an endless train.”

tw: car accident

Since a young age, Karter was a rather hotheaded kid that wanted to do only what he desired. Of course, he did what he was told, he went to all the lessons he needed to, played any available sport, switching between them as napkins, and tried to keep his grades up, managing highest marks in most classes. But consistent is not something you could call him. Sure, he was smart enough to read his lessons once and remember details enough to ace exams and graduate high school with A-s, but how much he remembered those lessons was anyone’s guess. He played for the football team, the soccer team, the basketball team, swam and even tried out for tennis before asking from his parents to buy a piano, then a violin and then a guitar, even having a short stint with drums that were quickly thrown out due to the ruckus. And all these extra curriculums were enough to get him a full scholarship in Yale, promising to do better there when saying goodbye to his family.

In university Karter focused more on the parties and girls rather than on classes, experimenting with anything he could think of, deciding he might as well despite the long life ahead of him. He signed up for Humanities, before he moved to Finance… and then he moved to Management where he was persuaded to stick to he decided to get diversity through languages and so he signed up for different one throughout the four years there, leaving with some knowledge on French and on Ancient Greek, a few words in Latin, a string of Armenian sentences. You couldn’t say he was fluent, you couldn’t say he was a genius and knew them all… But he liked to pretend to know even less.

After using money he had saved up working throughout his university years and having managed to put aside most of the allowance his parents gave him while he was there, he went on a trip to Europe. Karter is now back in Greywood and enjoying irresponsible life to the fullest. For the short time he had been back he had caused a car accident, ruined a bachelor’s party and miss at least two family gathering. He started writing a book, telling his parents that was his passion before locking himself into his room and trying to remember his violin lessons, the typing machine he had purchased from an antique shop left somewhere under tons of paper on his desk. And then he had told his parents he would like to be a carpenter (maybe he has watched too many homestead videos online) and so he proclaimed he’s moving out and getting an apprenticeship. Sure, he does go home every once in a while and brings his clothes in the laundry as he had no desire to do it on his own after having done that while in university, sitting by communal laundry rooms and being bored to death. And he does drop by his sibling’s to grab dinner if they let him. And he did ditch his lessons in woodwork a few times. But he was sure that this would be the thing he would stick to and maybe even someday make his own company and hire others to do it and observe with knowledge.

“what power did he attain when settling in greywood?”

Since settling in Greywood Karter has had very unnatural luck. Sure, he had always thought himself lucky, but walking out the street and a car you didn’t see swerving perfectly around you or a nail going through your shoe precisely between your toes… or winning every game of beer pong despite previously having the shittiest of aims possible? There’s something there he isn’t sure how to channel.

penned by... geri

#supernatural rp #town rp #oc rp #mature rp #literate rp #horror rp #logan lerman fc #taken #car accident tw #witch

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written-escapades · 11 months

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"Paradise"

I expected it to be just a normal series of events with the common program of preaching, sharing, reflecting, socializing, engaging, and many more. But it exceeded my expectations; little did I know that I would encounter something more valuable and have an impact on my current perspective when it comes to reality.

I experienced recollections in my junior years and also a retreat when I was graduating from junior high school. The experiences are not as memorable as they were back then, since I really find them boring. It's just all about sessions, and not much activity happened. When my adviser announced the retreat, the first thought that came to mind was that if it's not mandatory, I'm not going. After all those experiences in recollections and retreats, I didn't learn anything honestly, and I feel like it will be the same case. But I gave myself the benefit of the doubt; after all, this is my first time attending a Christian school, so I might as well give it a chance.

By the time we arrived at the retreat location, the first thing that really caught my attention was the scenery. The green pastures, the smell of nature, and the wide view of the sky, which gives a clean sight when the sun rises and sets, feel really refreshing and perfect for the mood of unwinding, and as I was admiring the view, I said to myself how wonderful His works are. It feels like he molded my fate to discover this place and to know Him more precisely in this place. When the program started, I felt a feeling that I had never felt before when it came to this kind of event. It felt so warming and welcoming, as if a warm blanket were wrapped around my body, which makes me feel cozy and allows me to relax in a chilly venue. The sessions, counseling, and team building are surprisingly enjoyable, to the point where I never want them to end.

I cannot fathom the feeling that I felt at that time, but I'm sure that I was really happy and very grateful for everything that happened on the retreat. I thought to myself that if I didn't give this retreat a chance, I wouldn't be able to learn and discover something new that I could apply to my life and become prepared for my future and the harsh world outside my bubble. Because of the retreat, I was able to get to know some of my classmates, my teachers and staff, and especially myself. Socializing is really not my forte, but surprisingly, I was able to do it without a hassle on the retreat because I felt safe in my surroundings. I was also able to show my vulnerable self and a snippet of my personal life at the time that I have to share about my chosen career in the future. It was very scary to stand in front of many people and have their eyes focused on me, but I was able to overcome it, and I am very proud of myself for that.

In terms of the difference in learning in school and on the retreat, both have bountiful advantages, but I learned something more valuable on the retreat, as it helps us become prepared not only for our personal lives but also for our spiritual lives. I am very grateful to this Christian school for helping me know more about God. Growing up with a religious trauma is hard since I really never thought about God. I was only able to know Him more when my mom converted to Christianity and when I entered Maranatha. It is really a huge privilege to know Him at this time of my life. I thought I was too late, but the school proved me wrong.

Some questions in my life that I find very hard to comprehend were answered during the retreat. It felt like a huge burden was taken away from my heart, and it feels light and I can breathe freely. This year's retreat is definitely a blessing in disguise from God Himself. I cannot thank the school enough for this opportunity they gave me. It felt like the last jigsaw piece in me has been found, and all I need to do is put it in its place and admire the paradise that God has prepared for me.

#creativenonfiction #cnf_blog

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kandadiff · 2 years

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Doin’ Time (1)

Miles sat a little nervously on the hard chairs of the meeting room. The overhead fluorescent lights beaming down on him and 19 other graduates. Some faces he recognized from his training in Boot Camp or from his years in the military. But it was the fact that the faces he recognized were considered the best of the best. Whatever they were here for it must of been important.

“Good evening” Major General H.J Clarke addressed the room. He waited for the room to settle until he continued to speak. “You 10 are the best of the best and we're all chosen for that reason.” A few applauses erupted in the room. “In the 1960s when I was in the positions you re all sitting in the government came up with Operation Sophies Choice. Either these powered individuals register and serve in service to the government, in exchange they will get food, shelter and immunity as long as they serve us or they will be place in a special prison and stay there for life. Many didn’t like being tied to rules and fought back against those who were on our side. They were terrorists to be clear. The videos I'm about to show are purposeful but if you cannot handle it feel free to leave at any time. Keep in mind that if you do leave, I cannot allow you on this team.” The videos that played showed tore war zones, of places soldiers recognized and then the aftermath of the army reconstructing it. “Most of you probably will not remember the night of August 13 1969.” A screen behind him turned on an a video of a massive explosion was shown. Gray smoke filled the screen until the camera was cut off. “On this night, a group of superpowers individuals” a picture of 3 woman silhouettes filled the screen. “Pushed against the US goverment and attempted treason in the highest degree. Our goal was to stop the soviets making of superpowered mutants for weapon use during the Cold War. Originally they were hired to capture and destroy all those suffering people.”

“Suffering?” Miles mouthed and the general did not miss it.

“Yes, suffering. The experiments preformed on these humans were terrible. Born mutants might be able to take what they were inflicted on them. But when we found them- they were shells of human beings. Killing them was a mercy.” He continued on. “Durning that august night instead of offering the prisoners mercy - the group released them into society and blew up the lab causing massive birth defects in the human population which resulted in hundreds of deaths and left thousands hurt and wounded. We had a plan to stop them. As you know born supernatants have always had a place in the US government. Many choosing after registering to work in the military or government so no one becomes a vigilante.” A picture of an asian man with long white hair turned on the screen. “Taemin Kim was highly skilled magic user and he knew how to get rid of those three vigilantes.”

“Why not kill them, sir?” Hangman suggested with a smirk and a shrug. “That certainly would have solved the problem.” Hangman had grown up a bit sheltered from the mutants that roamed the world. He had known they existed but he had always lived far from the reservations the mutants lived on. Only encountering a few when he joined the army and he knew there was always a way to kill anyone. “You said they were girls, a whole army couldn’t take them down? what are there powers?”

The general looked at him for a moment until he shifted uncomfortable in his seat. “We did try.” he said sullenly as though all the bad memories he ever had flashed through his mind. He turned back to the screen. “Taemin lead a group of people against the rebels and found out they were most powerful together. And since we could not find a way to keep them dead he bound the three girls to forget each other and everything they had ever known.”

“Well” Lisa chimed up looking bored at the whole conversation. Like a few people in this room, she thought the mutants were handed everything. And while she couldn’t outright say she agreed with putting them away - she couldn’t see a future where things would get any better between them and normal people. How could it? They always had something up there sleeve. “I feel that would only work if you kept them in steel cages the rest of there lives.”

“That was the plan but we severely underestimated the leader and her own abilities. She countered his magic with her own. She made it so as long as Taemin’s magic caused them amnesia then her magic would do the same to all that knew them.” He gave a half-hearted chuckle. “She likened them to boogie men that lurk in the shadows of our minds.” The video changed and it showed Taemin now covered in boils of black viscous liquid. Gasps filled the room. “He managed to contain her - by driving a stake blessed by the Vatican into her heart. She managed to do that to him as well as blast the other two woman out of the area. We don’t know where but as soon as he said that it was like a veil was thrown over all of our eyes and none of us no matter how hard we tried could remember there faces or names or even powers.”

“Where is she?” A curious Selena asked trying not to be so obvious that she was avoiding looking at the screen.

“Before he died Taemin gave us the location of her body or tried too. They were fighting the clouds when she did this and when he pierced her heart she fell and before you ask.” the screen changed to black. “She's not dead. If the stake ever leaves her heart then she will be returned. Hopefully the other two are living as normal humans and have forgotten there past as Taemin wished. But that is not a risk we are willing to take especially with pro-mutant groups protesting with violence in some areas over the country and registration of these people dropping every year. Throughout the years we managed to find and contain more then 85% of the superpowers terrorists that posed a threat but still some evade us. That is why I am putting a team together.”

“What team is this exactly?” Miles asked raising his hand. “You said we are going to be tasked with finding and apprehending but I think I speak for all of us when I ask, who are we looking for? If you don’t know how should we?”

“In your folders we managed to put together all we know about the girls which admittedly isn’t a lot. However, There is a school which houses displaced mutants who have yet to register. We only let it run because the principle has given us information of mutants and more help then we can ever get without him. There is new arrivals nearly every month. You will all be tasked to undergo an experimental test that will allow you to have minor mutant powers, just enough for you to infiltrate the school and keep note of the students and if any resemble anti-human or anti-governemt talk make not. If any bring up that faithful day it might be the girls. The goal is to find them and bring them to us before they can regain full power.” The group nodded. “Just remember, magic users are usually vunerable to bullets, guns or knives. Those who are not magic, are very vunerable to it. We have some super who will assist you and split you into teams but if you don’t take anything from this meeting, I would take this. These women are dangerous, they don’t seem to age, they don't seem to care much about human life, they look innocent and trustworthy but they lie. They will paint anyone to be the bad guy and do anything to avoid capture. They are terrorists, very real threats to you and the US in general. Make no mistake, every woman here can easily maim if not kill all of you. Good luck soldiers.”

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euphoricimagination · 2 years

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𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 (𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒍𝒚) 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔

Feat. Bokuto, Oikawa & Sakusa

Warning: Mentions of insecurities

Masterlist

Bokuto knows that he talks a lot; it's something that he can't control, and he wasn't able to change it even if he wanted.

He has experience way too many times that whenever he was excitingly telling a story, the other person doesn’t look half as interested as he is; sometimes they aren’t even listening to him or straight up tell him to shut up for a minute. Whenever that happens, he just slowly stays quiet and loses any motivation to continue talking, and he can’t help to think that most people find him annoying.

One day he was telling you about a volleyball match that you couldn’t go, and he was more than happy to tell you about it with all the details and sound effects possible. And even though you sometimes didn’t understand the technical details he was explaining, you were more than happy to see him talk about something he loves.

He was was telling you about a move that Atsumu did when he realized that you weren’t saying anything; and suddenly those memories came back, making him worry about boring you. He didn’t want you to be annoyed at him, and he knew that you were too nice to tell him to shut up. He looked at you with an apologetic smile

“Sorry, I talk too much, huh?” he mutters quietly, his eyes looking to the ground. He didn’t want to look disappointed, but he was pretty easy to read.

“What? No, no. keep going. So Atsumu send it a bit higher?” you asked, making him look at you quickly. He wasn’t expecting finding you with shining eyes and a smile, encouraging him to continue.

That made his heart beat faster; it wasn’t that you weren’t interested, you just were really invested in him and his story. He was so happy that he could talk to you so freely without any fear that you might get annoyed.

“Ah yes! He sent it a bit higher, and I barely was able to…”

Oikawa has always been insecure; is not something that he can particularly control since he grew up believing that he wasn’t enough, always feeling that his hard work will never be enough to compensate the raw talent of others.

Now, years later, he's much less insecure than his teenage self, but sometimes it unconsciously transfers in the relationship. He knows you love him, but you always notice how he hugs you a bit tighter at night or when he’s around some people he doesn’t like.

You two were at a tournament in Japan, he was getting ready for the match when he saw you talking to two people from the opposite team, Miya and Suna according to their jerseys. He knew that you probably knew them from your school days, but he can’t help to feel a little unsettled when he sees you laughing so comfortably with them. Since the match was starting soon, he decided to go to you, hearing part of your conversation with those two.

“Sunarin and I are going to beat yer ass today, ya traitor” says Atsumu ruffling your hair playfully while you hug Suna

“Ya wish, should I remember ya which team won last time?”

“Well, I’m starting today, I’m the second-best setter in Japan, yer boyfriend of yers can’t compared” says teasingly; however, Oikawa didn’t knew that, his small insecurities starting to spark up the closer he gets.

“Ya wish, he’s the best in Argentina. I’ll bet money that he’s better than ya” you say winking at the Japanese setter. At thise words Oikawa stops; he knew that you always have supported him, you literally went to Argentina with him, but hearing you saying it so directly and confident makes him so unbelievably happy.

He was so deep un thought that he didn’t realize that you were in front of him.

“Toru? You okay, babe?”

“Perfectly fine” says hugging you tighter.

Sakusa was told all his life how difficult he was, how hard it was to approach him, how mean he was to everyone, being told that he was a germaphobic even though he wasn't; all of that because he likes things done in a certain way and he tries his best to be comfortable. Those words have chase him all his life, and despite not understanding why he was labeled like that, a part of him believe it was true.

You two are in a small hangout with the whole team celebrating their win when Sakusa excuse himself to go to the bathroom. To be honest, the only reason he accepted coming here was because he wanted you to relax after working so hard; and he knew that you like spending time with his team, much to his dismay.

“Dontcha get sad that Omi-kun doesn’t hug ya or kiss ya that much?” says Atsumu a little tipsy just when Sakusa was coming back. As much as his rational side knew that you love him -you wouldn’t be with him otherwise- he can’t help to wonder if you’re annoyed by those things.

“I don’t need him to be all over me to know that he loves me Tsum”

“But isn’t it hard to be his partner? I mean, he has so many… quirks to deal with”

“I don’t think they’re that weird though, he just likes everything to be clean, which is good. I love him lots, I don’t mind changing part of my routine to make him comfortable, he does the same for me” you say normally. He's thankful that he has his mask on, he can feel himself blushing slightly by your words. He never really expected to find someone that accepted him so easily, he never expected to feel so loved.

“So cheesy Yn”

“This is why you’re single Miya” says coming behind you, an arm dropping through your shoulders “Want to go home love? It’s getting late”

“Sure” you say standing up and saying bye to the rest of the team. He can’t help to squeeze your hand tightly hoping that you somehow know how much he loves you.

@crystal-lilac

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purplespaceace · 3 years

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very few characters actually have adhd in media, and when they do, what people mean by that is just that they fidget a lot, not that they have adhd. the only character with adhd I can think of where I’ve watched/read it and I’ve gone, “oh, this character actually has adhd” is Jake peralta from Brooklyn 99. so, here’s my take on how to write adhd, with examples from Brooklyn 99.

I’ll do the best I can to separate them into three categories; the three things people look for in adults with ADHD, which are rejection sensitivity dysphoria, an interest-based nervous system, and emotional hyperarousal.

I’ll also randomly bold and italicize bits so people with ADHD can actually read it.

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, or RSD

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria makes people with ADHD overly sensitive to criticism, even if they perceive a rejection and there actually isn’t one. Their emotions are also very strong generally. Because of RSD, people with ADHD become people-pleasers and can develop anxiety because they’re so eager to please.

For me, RSD makes me cry an embarrassing amount for any little reason. in your writing, make your characters overdramatic, criers, and/or people-pleasers. They’ll have trouble saying no. They may also be over competitive, as their perceived rejection may include losing.

how does Jake show this in b99? When Jake comes up with a catchphrase and Rosa says it’s terrible, jake is far more hurt than he should be. He hates losing, and he gets overly upset whenever someone says they don’t like him or don’t trust him, etc. he’s also a people pleaser who has trouble saying no.

An interest-based nervous system

An interest-based nervous system includes hyperfocuses and an inability to pay attention. It stems from the fact that we can’t make as much dopamine as neurotypicals. This means that while neurotypicals get dopamine after completing a task, people with ADHD don’t. That means that people with ADHD don’t have any reason to do tasks, especially those they don’t like. This leads to executive dysfunction—people with ADHD will know they have to or want to do something, but they can’t seem to do it. people with ADHD hyperfocus on things that bring them dopamine. I was obsessed with warrior cats for three years. But hyperfocuses can also last a short amount of time—I’ll have a drawing idea in the middle of class and won’t be able to concentrate on anything else before I finish it. this is where our impulsiveness comes from. we can leap into things we think will give us dopamine without thinking, which can lead to injury. We also tend to tell people personal things they don’t want to hear because of this, and don’t have very good boundaries. We sometimes say whatever comes into our head, which can also result in us being rude on accident. Our voices can also get very loud or we can interrupt people frequently because we’re so impulsive. When people with ADHD hyperfocus, they can forget about anything else. I’ll forget to eat if I’m busy reading a Wikipedia article about feminism in the 1850s, and won’t go to the bathroom or drink water either. It’s also important to note that taking away distractions doesn’t help, because we can do things like pick at our skin and daydream—something that people with ADHD do a lot of. Because of executive dysfunction, people can call people with ADHD lazy or irresponsible.

people with ADHD can also be extremely indecisive because ADHD affects our executive functioning, and making decisions requires planning and prioritizing, and task initiation, which are both executive functions!

people with ADHD also have poor memory for important things, but tend to remember random bits of trivia. Poor memory leads to object permanence problems, which means people with ADHD can forget to call a friend back for weeks, forget that they need to read library books in a closed cabinet, or forget that the vegetables they got will go bad. People can sometimes say that people with ADHD don’t care about anything because of this.

people with ADHD can also be prone to depression because of under or overstimulation. Boredom feels painful for people with ADHD. If we’re overstimulated, we can experience sensory overload—if things are too bright or too loud, if too many things are touching us at once—often it’s not because the thing is too intense, but because too many things are happening at once.

We also have something some people call dolphin brain, where we jump from one thing to another. From the outside, it looks really random, but I find that when I’m talking to another neurodivergent communication is generally easier. For instance, someone with ADHD might see a bee at a baseball field and tell their team about the time they saw whales at seaworld because their little brother was also stung by a wasp there. people will see no connection on the outside, but it makes perfect sense to the person with ADHD.

people with ADHD can also be overachievers, either because they hyperfocus on schoolwork or their RSD makes it so that failing at something isn’t an option. people with ADHD can also be very controlling and stubborn, probably because we hyperfocus on something and cant handle it being any different, and any change to our plans can be seen as rejection.

we can also have a hard time ordering our thoughts or doing stuff like math in our head. a lot of the time I number my thoughts like, 1. this reason, 2. this reason, etc. even if theres only two or sometimes I just need the 1. as a transition for my brain. when I don’t write it down or organize it like that it feels like I’m trying to grasp ropes that have been covered in oil (it’s not going to happen) and then my brain gets all jumbled and I have to restart at the beginning. this is probably just me, but it feels the same way when I’m reading long paragraphs of something uninteresting, or even short bits of historical documents because the way they phrase things is really pompous and hard to process.

also, stuff like caffeine calms us down and helps us focus. people who don’t take medication (me) often drink coffee or caffeinated sodas to focus.

another random tip, but if your character with ADHD also is genderfluid or genderflux, they might have a hard time figuring out their gender sometimes, because we can be known to have a hard time putting our feelings into words or our brains will just go, “nope, not thinking about that right now” and move on, which can be pretty frustrating.

people with adhd also have a trait called time blindness, where we have no idea how long something takes and therefore can’t manage our time very well. this often results in us being late or just sitting around the house because we got ready way too early.

we also have something called consequence blindness—we do things and are completely unaware of the consequences. if I don’t brush my teeth, I get cavities. but I don’t think about that when I’m deciding I’m too tired to brush my teeth.

in b99, jake regularly stays up all night solving cases and watches documentaries on random topics. He’s also very distractible—when they’re trying to find the person who sent Captain Holt death threats in the train yard, Jake says he and captain holt should take a train trip together sometime. Jake says that he’ll forget Amy if they don't work together because he’s like a goldfish.

Emotional hyperarousal

This is the only thing people tend to include when writing characters: the fidgeting. People with ADHD tend to need more stimulation than others, so we’ll do things like draw during class and chew on pens.

people with ADHD can also have apd, or auditory processing disorder. we tend to watch shows with subtitles on and may take a second to process what you’re saying, or hear it wrong. The subtitles thing may be partially do to creating just the right amount of stimulation, but if I don’t have subtitles, me and my other friends with ADHD will watch tv with the volume turned up very high. People with ADHD also can have a hard time interpreting other people‘s tone and have a hard time controlling their own. They can be bad at social cues and have poor manners because we don’t pick up on that stuff.

people with ADHD also tend to observe everything or nothing at any given time, mostly based on the amount of stimulation they have—if they dont have a lot in their main task, they’ll need to take in something else at the same time. Likewise, if I’m hyperfocusing on something I often don’t notice anything else, like if someone asks me a question.

in b99, Jake fidgets with things a lot. In the intro, he’s picking up and examining a figurine on his desk, likely because he was bored with paperwork or some other task.

#adhd #writing #writing adhd #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #brooklyn99 #Jake peralta #Adhd Jake #neurodivergent #writing tips #adhd problems #adhd misconceptions #nd #neurodivergence

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babyboibucky · 3 years

Text

The Match - Part 8

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: You get a preview of what it’s like to be working with Mackenzie.

Warnings: I apologize as there is no smut in here lmfao but there is a stubborn Bucky lols

A/N: The jitters just never go away whenever I post a new part for this ajkcnjasncakjcnakj I find this part boring tbh but uhh things will start picking up again in the next part I promise

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Bucky decided to push through with his partnership with Wilson Enterprises. It was a big one, so it definitely required the entire team's effort and perseverance. Apparently, this is the company's biggest, most major project yet so this was going to look really good in your resume. It would also provide you with more credibility to further excel in your career.

Except that Bucky actually hired a marketing consultant to take over the entire project as his revenge.

"Any questions? About the project or about Kenzie?" Bucky asked, standing in front of the conference room, next to Mackenzie.

You confidently raised your hand when no one else did. Bucky tilted his head, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He knew you were affected, of fucking course you were!

"Yes?" he called out.

You stood up and sighed softly, "I mean this in the most respectful way, Mister Barnes." you said, emphasizing his name. "But as the head of marketing, what exactly is my role here? Given that Mackenzie was hired to spearhead the marketing aspect of this project." you said, giving Mackenzie a passive aggressive smile.

"I don't want to overstep on some boundaries here, that's why I'm asking. I just want clarity, that's all." you said.

Bucky was about to respond when Mackenzie stopped him, grabbing his arm and squeezing it before taking over the floor. You narrowed your eyes at how her slender fingers were wrapped around Bucky's arm.

"Honey..." Mackenzie started. "There's nothing to worry about, this is a collaborative work between you and I. So think of yourself as my assistant, someone to help me out with the project." she responded.

Bitch.

"I'm not an assistant, Mackenzie." you said, smiling at her.

Mackenzie laughed, "I'm sorry, my bad. I shouldn't have used that term. Oops." she said. "Although, I believe I have more experience in this area so maybe consider me a mentor?" she suggested.

Bitch!

Bucky cleared his throat, "If you have certain ideas, you can discuss it with her. She is a consultant after all. Given her impressive experience in the field, I'm sure you'll learn a thing or two from her."

The meeting was wrapped up by noon and you simply couldn't wait to get yourself out of the conference room. You didn't feel like talking to Bucky anymore in all honesty, not after what he was doing. You knew this was just to spite you, get you to cave in first and give in to him.

All the more that you wouldn't, especially not when he actually used your job against you.

Everyone started rushing out of the conference room, ready to head out for lunch. As soon as you reached the doorway, you overheard the short conversation between Bucky and Mackenzie.

"Hey Bucky, we still up for lunch?"

The bathroom was empty when you stepped inside and thank god for that because you couldn't hold back your emotions any further. Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes, not because you were hurt. Fuck no, you were angry and frustrated. So fucking angry at yourself for getting into this mess, at Bucky for being such an entitled prick, at the entire world for plotting against you.

You groaned in irritation as you wiped away your tears, sniffing as you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You worked your ass off for this job, for your position. You risked your dignity when you let Bucky fuck you. You weren't going to let someone take that away from you.

You quickly fixed yourself when the door opened, followed by the loud clacking of someone's heels.

"Omg, are you crying?" Beverly gasped, rushing over to you.

You snickered, "No." you lied, "My eyes are itchy." you huffed out before noticing that Beverly was holding a sandwich in her hand.

"Why did you bring your sandwich here?" you curiously asked.

Beverly shrugged, "The pantry's full and the other girls don't exactly seem to like me...so..."

You shook your head and sighed, "Come with me, let's have lunch out. I need to get out of this fucking place anyway."

"Yay, omg! I knew you were nice! You're like, the only girl who actually talked to me nicely." Beverly said, tagging behind you as you exited the bathroom.

"Oh, there you are!" Mark called out. "I was looking for you. Wanna grab lunch? Oh...who's this?" he asked, noticing the blonde girl trailing behind you.

"I'm Beverly! I'm Sir James' new secretary." she introduced excitedly.

You sighed, "Don't ask me why." you said when Mark turned to you with a confused look, still not sure what happened to Bucky's previous secretary.

"So, lunch out? With Bev?" you asked.

You were completely zoning out during lunch despite the ongoing conversation between Mark and Bev, something about yoga? You honestly couldn't care less, not when you were feeling so conflicted about your current situation.

Would Bucky actually go that far just to get you back? Or does he actually hate you for saying no to him and is basically using his authority to make your life a living hell?

"So I heard about the new girl." Mark said, that snapped you out of your trance.

"Huh?" you asked.

"I find it weird for Mister Barnes to hire someone when you're here." Mark pointed out. "I mean, are you okay with that or..."

You snorted, "Fuck no. Look, I'm not gonna be the bigger person here. I was offended as fuck." you admitted.

"Yeah, it's super weird because she was hired through Tinder or something. Is that even legal?" Beverly pointed out as she scrolled through her phone.

You and Mark turned to her abruptly, "Tinder? Wait, what?" you asked.

Beverly chuckled, "I heard them talking this morning and Kenzie was like, 'It's so funny that we matched on Tinder and ended up doing business there you know' and I'm like omg Sir James has Tinder and I have one too but I never saw him there, bummer."

"Motherfucker." you hissed out.

Mark made a face, "Are you okay?" he carefully asked. "You've been really tensed since last week."

Apparently, Bucky never deleted his Tinder and have been swiping right on women. And that's how he met Mackenzie who just happened to be a marketing consultant. Now you were just furious, was he fucking her too? Has he been fucking other women this entire time?

"Hey, Bev..." you said, a plan hatching inside your mind. "Can I ask you a favor?" you asked nicely.

Beverly nodded, "Um duh, you're basically my office BFF now."

"If you ever hear Mister Barnes and Mackenzie talk about hmm, I don't know...something interesting. Maybe about the project...me 'cause you know, I'm the head of marketing and Mackenzie’s in the same field...let me know, will ya?" you asked.

Mark chuckled nervously, "I don't know what's going on but isn't that an invasion of privacy?"

"She's not going to eavesdrop, Mark. She'll just...listen closely." you explained.

"Bev might get in trouble if Mister Barnes finds out." Mark warned.

You waved a hand, "She'll be fine, Mark. She's his secretary, she has to know everything. Besides, I'm not going to let her get in trouble, if she does then I'll take care of it."

Beverly squealed in delight, "Omg, you are not my office BFF. You're like my office mom! You and Mark are literally my office parents." she said, lifting her phone up in the air.

"Selfie! This one goes to the 'gram." she said, taking a quick photo of the three of you.

She then proceeded to edit the photo while you and Mark continued eating lunch.

"Bev, you should really put your phone away and eat first. We have less than half an hour left for lunch break." Mark called out.

Beverly groaned and rolled her eyes, "Way to get into the role, Mark. You're such a dad."

You snorted, "Yeah. Loosen up, daddy." you teased.

"Playing family after just one date, huh."

Bucky's presence in the same restaurant should've really intimidated you, most especially that he just witnessed you tease Mark like that. But you were too mad at him to even care, what was the point even? He didn't believe you even when you told him the truth that Mark was just a friend.

Why even try now?

"Hi Sir James." Beverly greeted happily.

"Mister Barnes." Mark acknowledged.

Bucky ignored them and kept his eyes on you. You didn't falter under his gaze and simply stared back at him with blank eyes. It's as if a staring competition took place when the both of you merely looked at each other, neither of you looking away nor attempting to do so.

"How was that date last Friday, Jim?" Bucky asked, his eyes still trained on yours.

Mark made a funny face at the name that Bucky called him but shrugged anyway. Before he could even respond, you decided to answer on his behalf. If Bucky wanted to spite you, you'd give him a taste of his own medicine.

"It was actually great. We might go on another one this Friday." you said.

"We are?" Mark asked in a whisper.

Bucky's hand landed on Mark's shoulder, "Don't count on it, Andrew. She's going to be doing a lot of work on Friday due to the project." he said through gritted teeth.

You shrugged, "Oh, but I thought Mackenzie's doing all my work?"

"I'm ready to head back, Buck."

Speak of the devil herself. Mackenzie weaved through the tables and approached Bucky, her face brightening up when she saw you, Mark and Beverly.

"Oh, hey you." she greeted you. "Look, I think we may have started off on the wrong foot earlier. I'm not here to take your job, just here to spice things up a bit. Improve your ideas, give Bucky some assistance." she chuckled, holding onto Bucky's arm yet again.

You fought back the urge to grab your glass of water and throw it at her face. As the saying goes, kill them with kindness. So you merely shrugged and extended an arm for a handshake.

"Of course. I would love to improve your ideas as well, you know. Just a healthy discourse between two marketing professionals. We good?" you said.

Mackenzie forced out a chuckle and reached for your hand, "We’re good. I look forward to working with you." she said before turning back to Bucky who was still gazing at you.

"Let's go?" she asked sweetly.

Bucky smirked at you before wrapping an arm around Mackenzie's waist, guiding her out of the restaurant the same way he did to you. You were too focused on Bucky's body language around Mackenzie that you failed to notice that Mark was watching you closely, your expressions and how you reacted towards Bucky.

"I think I know what's happening."

"You what?!"

"Shhh!" you hushed Mark and peeked out of the empty pantry to make sure the coast was clear.

Mark noticed the tension between you and Bucky and he came to a conclusion that the both of you dated at one point. He wasn't really wrong but he wasn't right either. So you decided to tell him everything, from the moment you matched with Bucky on Tinder until your last conversation with him last Saturday.

"I honestly thought you were dating, I didn't know there was sex involved. No wonder he had been calling me weird names." he said incredulously. "Was that you and Mister Barnes that Janet reported to the HR?" he asked, stifling his laughter.

You groaned, "Yes. Ugh, gave me a panic attack when I found out about that incident report." you said.

"Hey..." Mark called out. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. Your secret is safe with me." he reassured.

You nodded, "I think it was about time that I told someone about us anyway. This whole situation is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do next. And I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess, I shouldn't have said that we were going out again. I don't want you or your job getting compromised because of our petty fight." you exhaled.

You had to admit, you felt so much better now after confiding with Mark. It somewhat alleviated the weight on your shoulders, knowing that there was someone aware of what you were going through. Who would've thought that this person would end up being Mark? You did have friends outside of work of course, but you felt like they all wouldn't really understand the situation.

Half would hate you for rejecting Bucky and the other half would hate you for even swiping right on him.

"Do you mind an unsolicited advice?" Mark asked.

"Not at all." you said.

"Ignore him. Don't let him or Mackenzie get to you. Do what you do best, you're great at your job and you'll be fine. That might get him to realize that you're not a prize to be won. And if he still doesn't see that, then that's his loss. You're more than just that hot marketing girl at work." Mark said.

You laughed at his last statement, "Hot marketing girl at work?" you asked, shaking your head.

"It's true. So if in any case you decide to ditch the CEO and move on, you know where to find me." he joked, throwing a wink your way.

You wanted to finish all your reports so you could focus on the huge project so you decided to work until around nine in the evening. The floor was already empty by the time you were done. Bucky seemed to be working too, given that he was still replying to e-mails at this hour. Wanting to get all the reports over with, you decided to submit it to him before going home.

During the elevator ride to Bucky’s floor, you couldn’t help but wonder whether he was alone in the office. Would Mackenzie be there with him? Even at this hour? Your grip on the folder tightened at the thought of catching them in the act.

But did you have any right to feel this way though?

Brushing off the thoughts, you exhaled loudly and prepared yourself for whatever it was you were to witness. Upon reaching the door to Bucky’s office, you slightly turned your head to listen to anything. It was quiet. No hushed whispers nor strained grunts-- they weren’t fucking, thank goodness for that.

You decided not to knock and just walk inside like you used to, reminding yourself of Mark’s advice.

Don’t let Bucky get to you.

When you saw Bucky hunched over his desk, typing away on his e-mails instead of bending a certain brunette somewhere in his office, you had to admit that you were relieved. He looked up and his eyes looked dead tired, you almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

“You should really learn how to knock.” Bucky called out, slamming his laptop shut.

“Look, Bucky. I was just rushing to submit these reports so I can go home.” you explained and placed the folder on top of his desk.

Bucky frowned, “I said to call me Mister Barnes.”

You huffed out, “I honestly don’t care, Bucky. I’m not playing your damn games anymore.” you said and turned around.

A hand on your arm pulled you back, harshly turning you around to face Bucky. He was fuming, as usual. At this point, you were no longer fazed.

“You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?” he asked.

You clenched your jaw and pulled your arm back, “I’m not doing anything. You bring in Beverly or Mackenzie or whoever it is that you have up your sleeve. I don’t fucking care. I just want to focus on work.” you said and stepped away.

“And you should too, Bucky.” you added.

“I don’t believe you.” he said.

You sighed, your shoulders dropping from exhaustion at this whole shenanigan. “I’m done, Bucky.”

And with that you turned around to exit his office, leaving Bucky unsure whether you truly meant what you said. A victorious smirk graced your lips as you walked back to the elevator.

You were far from done.

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag @weird-mumbling @propertyofpoeandbucky @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @mostly-marvel-musings @squishybabies @megzdoodle @suchababie @annathesillyfriend @xhollycowx @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @5-seconds-of-mendes @gogolucky13 @countonthesun @iloveshawnieboi @learisa @borikenlove @scarlet-natasha89

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @im-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @prettyintopeerpressure @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada @lizette50 @thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes @iloveangstposts @weenersoldierr @asemistablehundredyearoldman @reidbuck @lizzarooni @girlfriday007 @bonkywobble @lost-in-the-stars03 @its-yasbxtch @whoth3hellisbucky

#bbb writes #the match #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky smut #fem!reader #sebastian stan

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