#Sour Sally

[stardestroyer81]

Last July, I expressed interest in wanting to create arcade flyer-inspired character cards for the colorful cast of Rascal... and only ended up making one for the titular bunny boy. To make up for it, however, I think it's finally time to reveal Rascal's full cast...

... by way of a group shot and sprite showcase! 🍬🧡💙🧡🍬

#⭐ Star's Art ⭐ #Star's OCs #Rascal #Rascal 1983 #Rascal Arcade #Cupcake Rascal #Goofball Rascal #Jellybean Joe #Mr. Stackman #Sour Sally #Choco Chuck #Arcade #Arcade Games #OCs #Coolness #Behold... a post roughly ten months in the making!!! #I'd designed this lot of OCs back in mid-2023... and they have all been my blorbos since. #My intent was to draw individual key art for each one to have something for each character's character card #Though admittedly I'm still trying to hammer out a definitive artstyle for Rascal #Though seeing as I hadn't drawn the group altogether since late June of last year... #... I decided to jump right back in and draw this group shot for the purpose of revealing everyone to tumblr! #I would be more than happy to answer any questions anyone has about this candied cast... #You can imagine I have lots to say on both their creation as well as their personalities! 🍬🧡💙🧡🍬

[mydailyfoodss]

#sour sally #mochi #cookie dough #white bobba #sakura mochi

[newwavesylviaplath]

'cause nobody loves me, it's true not like you do.

#sour times - portishead #portishead #dark aesthetic #femme fatale #dark femininity #ultraviolence #60s #sour times #divine feminine #vampire aesthetic #leopard print #fur coat #sally mckenna #vintage americana #vintage #americana #coquette #lana del rey #girlblogging #hyper feminine #tumblr girlies #2014 tumblr #girl interrupted #lizzy grant #this is a girlblog #ethel cain #black swan #gloomy coquette #goth coquette #my playlist

[dancinginthesapphicmoonlight]

MINOR PJO SPOILERS

knowing that sally jackson listens to olivia rodrigo canonically makes me want to sob

#percy jackson series spoilers #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #percy jackson spoilers #sally jackson #olivia rodrigo #i just know she had a breakdown when both sour and guts came out #forget the taylor swift edits to this show #i want olivia rodrigo edits for them

[kingmaxstatic]

"Yes, all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small Are collated and notated and displayed within our halls"

Made this as sort of a celebration piece for finally getting around to draw my oldest oc a new ref! Missed you, Sal.

#Sally Sour #Viva Pinata #viva pinata oc #Mallowolf #Sour Mallowolf

[asb-fan]

🩵HAPPY BIRTHDAY @drunkin-kong-donic 🥳 🎁 🎉🎊🥰💛

I wish you a wonderful day my awesome fren 💖💖💖

#Splatoon #splatoon ocs #sally #noname #salty sour #saltysour #squibbos #my ocs #frens ocs #b #ILU DUDE THANKS FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP B ❤️ #i wish you nothing but the best! #stay healthy and awesome laff #u rock b #u dooooo #have a wonderful day!!! #nn giving sally present after he finally decided on ONE DAY thats his bday laff #instead of getting presents every day by saying its his bday laff #❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥳🎁

[banana-sweets]

Thoughs on the other neighbors

#my art #welcome home oc #welcome home sally #welcome home oc: candy #welcome home #welcome home julie #welcome home fanart #welcome home puppet show #digital aritst #digital fanart #oc #oc stuff #welcome home oc: Candy Sour #just me thoughts on how candy would be fond of the neighbors #lol #im thinking of designing a house for her #but idk

[voidless-screaming]

Trick or treat!!

I forgot to respond im so sorry

ANYWAY fictional men i like. I watched the nightmare before Christmas recent. Jack skellington is a cool character and they tried to make him complex but the movie really needed longer to flesh him out fully. Been following this fanfic for the past several years that fleshes him out. Based

I am hyped for the new book coming out focusing on him 👀

Have a candy for your ears

#been tryna get my hands on the sally book #ask #asks #i love sour candy #SO good #makes me remember i have teeth #trick or treat

[marioandsonicfangirl793-art]

My artworks Dr. Seuss’ HHAW by 20th Century Fox and Blue Sky Productions! I hope you like them! ♥️

#horton hears a who #sour kangaroo #ned mcdodd #sally o’malley #dr. seuss #vlad vladikoff

[stardestroyer81]

In the mid-1980s, animated adaptations of arcade games were commonplace— for example, Hanna Barbera's Pac-Man or Saturday Supercade's Q*Bert. Both of these shows, for lack of a better term, 'Americanize' the designs of the titular characters, so I got to thinking...

"What would a mid-1980s cartoon based off Rascal look like?"

Seeing as I've had prior experience in drawing faux animation cels, I decided to put that talent to the test and whip up not only a cel drawing but also a painted background for a scene for a hypothetical 1985 Rascal cartoon! 🍬🧡💙🧡🍬

(You can get a print of both the standalone cel as well as the cel overlaid on top of the painted background over on my RedBubble store!)

#⭐ Star's Art ⭐ #Star's OCs #Rascal #Rascal 1983 #Rascal Arcade #Mr. Stackman #Sour Sally #Arcade #Arcade Games #Animation Cel #Cel Animation #Fake Screenshot #Medibang Paint Pro #Trans Artist #Coolness #REJOICE— AMERICANIZED RASCAL BE UPON YE!!! #This is a drawing that I've had completed prior to the announcement of my RedBubble store... #... though I wanted to make a few small touch-ups before it was ready to post here! #I NEVER draw backgrounds for my drawings so I am especially proud of what I drew for this faux cel #I also put a lot more detail into making the standalone cel look as authentic as possible... #... namely the inclusion of imperfections; check out just above Rascal's legs. You might notice the lineart's faded a bit! #A lot of animation cels up for grabs online have faded inks— most especially cels from Season One of Spongebob Squarepants #So I wanted to replicate that specific detail so I could achieve as authentic of a cel-drawn look as possible #If anyone's interested in seeing them I have a few concept drawings for American Rascal as well as SourStack #... SourStack? Oh that's right... I personally ship Mr. Stackman and Sour Sally together #I just drew cutesy art of them together the other night that I may end up posting here sometime! 💖✨

[supernovalunare]

Sunday at home with Olivia Rodrigo, Miss Sally Rice (Blythe Doll) and a great book (Peter Pan) 💕

#blythe #blythe doll #miss sally rice #blythe collection #blythe collector #sour #peter pan #book lover #book #books #aesthetic #olivia rodrigo #vinyl #vinyl collector #olivia rodrigo sour vinyl

[clownsuu]

Just a lil doodles smhhhh

cw: mentions of violence and distress. Also weapons-

This is probably a good time to mention everyone’s jobs since I keep forgetting to mention it JDHDGDH

Wally: Da Boss (yeah no shid) he isn’t that merciful of a boss- can be very brutal with how relentless he can be and is a bit of a (non sus) sadistic a s s sometimes. Usually is playfully humorous initially, but can quickly go sour if he feels ever so slightly ticked. Preferred weapon: his eyes and his arms.

Barnaby: Body guard, boss’s left hand man, usually the one who talks for the boss. Sometimes he’s even seen as the “unofficial” boss of the whole group (which he likes to humor sometimes) but in the end he is possibly the most loyal out of everyone to Wally (man’s best friend after all). Preferred weapon is “da biggest gun we got!!!”

Howdy: Butler, bartender, boss’s right hand man. Will do basically everything anyone says (who’s part of the family) without question, however he will always take the Boss’s requests as main priority over the others. This will often keep him awake and exhausted, and a few new stitches to add to his collection. He has the lowest ability to think freely. Preferred weapon: Ice pick

Julie: Hitman A, interrogator, mad scientist really. Killing isn’t really too much of her thing, she prefers methodical planning and slow suffering with the use of chemicals and even random substances she can get her lil paws on. She’s not afraid to use anyone as a test subject, even if it’s her own members. preferred weapon: tranquilizers

Sally: Hitman B, intimidator, c h a o s. Almost the complete opposite to Julie. Absolutely chaotic and adores violent bloodshed to a point it’s theatrical. Usually is called if they don’t really need a clean kill. Can often be seen dancing and listening to music while on the job, often says it helps her focus (nobody really argues with it). Preferred weapon: anything blunt and/or violently loud (tasers, rocket launchers, fireworks) (sally is banned from using rocket launchers)

Poppy: Medic, crime scene cleanup, voice of reason, sometimes chef. She does ok when it comes to clean ups and stuff, however she has panic attacks and gets terrified when ever she hears screams of pain/torture, and freezes. Typically Howdy is there to help her snap out of it and help her complete her work, if not do her work for her. Everyone, even including the boss, is there to support her when she’s distressed (everyone would hug her except Wally. He does not like being touched unless it’s Howdy or Barnaby). Preferred weapon: n/a

Eddie: Messenger, delivery pick up/drop off, handler of the goods. He usually goes by himself, however after an incident where he lost his arm from a deal gone wrong, he is now required to leave with at least one of the hitmen (typically Sally). Very often does he get hurt in these trips and is usually always saved by Sally. Absolutely adores Frank for always trying to find the safest routes for him and wishes they had time together alone. Preferred weapon: a simple revolver

Frank: In charge of ordering goods, making contacts, being a voice of reason, basically just a manager. The most stressed member of the group. Rarely is he seen outside of the headquarters unless it’s to talk to well known individuals. He doesn’t usually talk to anyone besides Howdy (ranting at the bar about people), Eddie (telling him what he needs to get next), and Julie (normal convos and her asking him to order new chemicals for her next project). Every time Frank thinks he has an intimate moment together alone with Eddie, out of the blue Eddie would just randomly talk about how much he loves the family and how Wally is so amazing. The next day Frank asks him about it, it seems Eddie doesn’t remember what happened yesterday. Frank has the highest ability to think freely. Preferred weapon: a simple glock.

Home: Voice of reason. Preferred weapon: Wally

#Hopefully that’s decent enough so I don’t forget LMAOOO #welcome home howdy #welcome home wally #welcome home barnaby #howdy pillar #wally darling #barnaby b beagle #welcome home mob au #Welcome home #Home is never seen in the headquarters

[thatonepersonwhocantwrite]

PLATONIC yandere Percy jackson x mother reader

This is based off the head cannons by Lady-Ashfade @lady-ashfade ( thank you so much for letting me. )

I love Sally I really do and I tried to fit her in but I couldn't fit her in also Percy might be a little Out of character idk how I feel about this

Trigger warnings swearing , Gabe is more abusive like the books that the show , blood

Percy didn't like it when you're attention was on anybody other than him. Percy had never wanted to leave you alone with smelly Gabe and go off to some fancy school so he was relieved when he got home. Actually Percy had straight up refused to go to Yancy Academy because it meant he wouldn't be near you . Also you had gotten a few calls from Yancy saying Percy had sent someone to the hospital because they dared to make a joke about you but did you believe them? No you didn't because in your eyes Percy could do no wrong. Percy stood in front of the door to the apartment but stopped when he heard screaming and the sound of glass shattering and your pained yelp as soon as he heard you're yelp he aggressively opened the door. He saw you clutching your left arm which was bleeding badly and probably had glass in it from the beer bottle Gabe had smashed onto it.

Percy lost it when he saw you in pain . Percy hit Gabe in the back with the closes thing to him which happened to be a pen Riptide although Riptide wouldn't do any good since Gabe is a mortal so Percy just jabbed the pen really hard into Gabes back. “ HURT HER AGAIN AND I'LL SLIT YOUR…..” Percy started but you cut him off. “ Hey I'm ok sweetheart I'm ok.” You said interrupting him. “ I'm ok sweetheart.” Although neither you or Percy were entirely convinced of that. “ Mom you're arm…..” Percy said . “ I'm going to clean up then I have a surprise for you.” You said and walked into the bathroom about twenty minutes later you came out showered and you're arm wrapped. “ I forgot to give these to you.” You said holding out a bag of blue sour strings. “ Thanks mom!” Percy exclaimed. “ Of course sweetheart. That's not the surprise though. We're going to Montauk.” You said. “ Really? Just you and me?” Percy asked excited. “ You were serious about that?” Gabe complained.

“ Yes now give me the dam keys.” You said stretching your hand out. “Never. I'm not handing my keys to my car over to you.” Gabe said. “ Yes. You are.” You replied. “ Give her the fucking keys or I'll do far worse than stick a fucking pen into your back. I'll get a knife and shove it down your …” Percy started. Gabe handed you the keys. Well the trip went wrong quickly. “ Dam it I wish I had more time.” You muttered to yourself. “ Mom what's going ON???! AND WHAT'S THAT THING CHASING US???!” Percy shouted. Cue Grover trying to explain. It shattered the glass of the driver window and jammed its horn into the steering wheel causing it to be hard to do anything really. Well the car got flipped. “ Percy I need you to listen to me. What ever happens stay strong my brave boy. Stay strong and brave. I love you my sweet boy. “ You said gently before taking his jacket. “ Mom what are you doing? Mom you're scaring me.” Percy said. “ I love you my sweet boy. Grover make sure he gets to camp.” You said. “ Wait why do you need my jacket mom?” Percy asked. “ He smells half blood…. That's what he's after maybe I can confuse him.” You said.

“Mom No!” Percy exclaimed . You sighed softly pressing his forehead against yours. “ I love you sweetheart but right now you need to be brave.” You said before the minotaur roared again and you ran the opposite direction buying some time for Percy and Grover. The minotaur grabbed you. “ MOM!” Percy shouted . You felt your world go dark. “ NOOOO!” Percy yelled . He charged sword first. “ COME BACK WITH MY MOM YOU FUCKING COWARD!” Percy shouted he wasn't calling you a coward he was calling the minotaur a coward even though he saw it turn to dust. “ Fuck you dad you're a disappointment you couldn't even save my mother. You don't deserve this .” Percy said bitterly putting a blue sour string into the fire.

He jumped on the quest when he found out you might alive somehow. Honestly Percy and Grover were shocked to see you calmly sipping coffee ( or tea if you prefer it or are allergic to dairy) like nothing had happened with Persephone. Also Hades was chill as fuck. “ MOM!” Percy said literally tackling you off the chair and onto the floor into a hug. You chuckled slightly. “ Hi sweetheart.” You said hugging him back tightly. Percy had his precious mother back and he didn't intend to let you go ever again. Even if that meant he had to tear Mount Olympus apart .

Here's the link to Lady-Ashfade's head cannons

#x reader #yn #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #platonic Percy jackson x reader #yandere percy jackson #percy jackson fic #female reader

[kingmaxstatic]

Explaining some of my fan VP episode concepts but in a silly way right before I sleep because teehee

Fudgehogs To Go

- Fergy ends up being saved from his banishment on the moon. Finds a boyfriend so all is well.

Horstatchio’s Shoe On The Other Foot

- Hudson finds out Yuri (Beverly x Hailey) is real and also one sided.

Super Star Sour

- Autistic girl (Sally Sour, Oc) makes headlines after Langston accidentally sends her to a social gathering.

Quite The Catch

- Fergy and Paulie accidentally almost ruin a marriage.

Fergy Lays An Egg

- Fergy thinks that “yes this random egg that looks nothing like a fudgehog egg is FOR SHORE mine.”

Souring Of The Heart

- Yuri is real once more (Sally x Ella) but oh no it’s one sided again for completely different reasons this time.

Daddy Deadliest

- OH GOD PESTER IS COMING OVER FOR FATHER’S DAY THIS IS Gonna oh wait never mind he’s actually a pretty supportive dad actually

#viva piñata #viva piñata trouble in paradise #viva pinata tv show #hudson horstachio #Hailey horstatchio #langston Lickatoad #fergy fudgehog #paulie pretztail #Ella Elephanilla #Professor Pester #Beverly Badgesicle #Sally Sour #Johnathan Lickatoad

[cxcewg]

your social media aus are amazing!! i was wondering if you could do a private relationship between charles x singer!reader (fc: olivia rodrigo) but fans find out?

sour

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!singer!reader - requested type: social media au (fc: olivia rodrigo) author’s note: aw ty! im glad you like my smaus. anyways, your wish is my command 😚 i aged her up a year for this cuz it'd be a bit weird if they started dating right after she turned 17... also her birthday is no longer february first time i used stories (the format def tripped me up) and i don't know how to edit it so i just tossed some pics on and called it a day - let me know if you know anywhere where i can make insta stories :) tumblr fcked up several times so uhm 😔had to rewrite this a couple times... hope this did your request justice! ❤️ warnings: none! masterlist

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yourusername recharging ⚡

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tatemcrae motherrrr

yourusername ❤️

conangray literally screaming

yourusername love youu

ynshq we love yn button —------>

motherism.ts recipe?

yourusername the cookies turned out a bit hard haha but we used the sallys baking addiction one motherism.ts omg you responded! thank you, i will absolutely make them someday :) ariswifey we?

karenelliot Charles, what are you doing here?

elizxbeth LMAO HE LOVES HER MUSIC TOO karenelliot He has good taste. amielliot.1 mom please stop... amielliot.1 it's so creepy when you use grammar this isn't a work email

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yourusername some behind the scenes from the making of SOUR. time of our lives! swipe ➡️for a jumpscare 😂

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tatemcrae stunning omggg

camila_cabello luv uuu

andreaxx the second pic has me in tears 😆

a_esliehiggins fr lmao

id.otsandwich i love her she's so funny

ynhate she is overrate asf their are 0 good songs on her ass album kanye west is way beter

jana.b04 *overrated *there jana.b04 fix your grammar first sweetie 😘 ryanandblake4life oh girlie...

kaufman.sharlene uh is anyone seeing the guy behind her in the second pic? cuz that doesnt look like dan at all

liked by scuderiaferrari, joris_trouche, and 1,395,103 others

charles_leclerc Feels good to be back on the podium! Now to recharge the batteries for a few weeks and enjoy some sun 😘

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joris_trouche LET'S GO ❤️

whyisitalwaysme im so happy omg

malcom.parker charles leclerc is so overrated. girls only like him because he's cute.

chrles.lechair bruh yes he's cute, but that's only a bonus chrles.lechair i like him because he's a nice guy, a great driver, he has a great mentality (just look at baku 2017 or bahrain 2017), he's one of the most talented drivers on the grid (rookie season 2018???). he just needs a good car and good team. liked by yourusername lucasduncan for reallll it needed to be said de1dre.brxan amen chrles.lechair OMG YN LIKED I DIDNT KNOW SHE WAS A CHARLES FAN

hherman look at that adorable smile

p1erre.gf1 im so glad ferrari didn't fuck it up for him he does not deserve it

f1l8ley THE KISSY FACE IS BACK AGAIN LETS GOOO

lestappenfliccs who was that girl you were spotted with?

moll.s who??? lestappenfliccs look at enews's tweet moll.s hes cheating on max???? lestappenfliccs and carlos too 😭

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yourusername 21 has never felt sweeter 🌙

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billieeilish gorg

yourusername love uuuu

conangray happy birthday to the most annoying person on the planet!

yourusername love you too 😘

francisca.cgomes lindaaaa aproveite 21 beautiful enjoy 21

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maxineb.ford where you at rn?

yourusername london! doing some traveling in europe right now 😘 maxineb.ford nicee whered you go? yourusername spent some time in belgium maxineb.ford fun! did you go with madison or iris? yourusername sadly not, they're very busy but i spent some time with a friend of mine 🥰

jjmils shes so pretty

ynfan.1 adam fumbled so hard

janisbarton bruh she was too good for that asshole ashlycamerons and then he cheated janisbarton men ☕ ynfan.1 she was so out of his league frr

bettyrice24 the eyes never lie 🥺

lalaur05 girl you tryna make sumthin outta nuthin bettyrice24 smh im just sayin i think our girl has a new boy toy on the scene 😘

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yourusername 🌴love feels extra fun in the sun ❤️

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madisonhu 😘

conangray wish i was there 😭

liked by yourusername

magsmm oh my god the CAPTION?! is yn tryna tell us something?

bettyrice24 guys… i seriously think mother has been snatched up

lalaur05 bruh she posts like 2 pics and you’re like “oh shes got a boyfriend” stop speculating lalaur05 like just chill bettyrice24 no but seriously like these pics shes def not taking it so shes with somebody obviously lalaur05 oh wait you’re right bettyrice24 iris and madison are busy bettyrice24 AND AND like conan said he wished he was there so hes not there

charles_leclerc followed yourusername yourusername followed charles_leclerc

yourusername posted on their story!

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conangray replied to your story!

conangray girl this isn't your close friends conangray WAKE UP STOP MAKING OUT yourusername huh? yourusername shit

tatemcrae replied to your story!

tatemcrae spill. tatemcrae now. yourusername what????? tatemcrae 👀 tatemcrae OK START TALKIJNG GIRL TELL ME HIS LIFE STORY

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viewed by charles_leclerc, madisonhu, and 1,938,296 users liked by 8,294 users

liked by your_username, conangray, and 4,178,444 others

charles_leclerc I think you're more than sweet enough. Two years with you have been the best in my life, Ti amo, je t'aime, I love you 😘 i love you, i love you, i love you

tagged yourusername

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conangray you better take good care of her 🔪

charles_leclerc With my life. ❤️ yourusername conan- yourusername charles 🥺 yourusername come here so i can give you a kiss

madisonhu the caption im crying 😭

pierregasly damn 2 years and you're still scarring me every time

yourusername learn to knock

landonorris i went through hell keeping this a secret

yourusername we really should not have told you landonorris hey i'm great at keeping secrets yourusername im sure

apples.oranges THIS WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD

i_fulton1 I KNEW IT WAS HIM ON HER STORY

velmab99 THE BANDANA

bettyrice24 AHAHA WAHT DID I SAY

lalaur05 🙄 bettyrice24 YOU'RE BUYING

irene.larson01 bruhh charles mfing "i am stupid" leclerc managed to pull HER?

oliviakhan there is still hope for me nothoughtsheadempty charles lecrizz who?

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yourusername i thought i was purple until i met you. always cheering for the red team, always yours ❤️

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charles_leclerc ❤️❤️❤️

landonorris also does this mean we can get front row seats to your next concert?

lovingleclerc lando 💀 landonorris what? i want to go 🙄

tatemcrae i cannot believe you didn't tell me 😭

yourusername im sorryyyy please forgive me 🙏  tatemcrae i accept paddock passes as an apology btw username shes so real for that lmaoooo

lovingleclerc im crying so hard where can i find a love like this

roscoepawparazzi 😭time to take a bath with my toaster

single.sad. heading to the highway, anyone with me?

banana_leclerc ✋

francisca.cgomes aaaa tão fofo so cute

charlottesine belleeee beautyyy

yourusername je t'aime 😘 nous devons nous réunir un jour! i love you! we have to get together one day time44hammertime i love that they're friends apples.oranges THIS WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD EITHER honeybadger3 OH MY GOD CHA HI teamlando4 did charles homie hopper leclerc strike again?? f1gossipnews i actually heard that cha introduced charles to yn after they broke up so 😌no more homie hopper leclerc pieasstree eek i love this sm yn is such a girls girl mrstealyogirl charles needs to watch out his ex is about to steal his girl lol

taglist: @remyspams 😘

requests are open! (i promise i'm working on them)

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc smau #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc x singer!reader #f1 #formula 1 #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #charles leclerc fic rec

[theunvanquishedzims]

Okay, I'm making mummies the new monster du jour

We all know the story: daring adventurer and nerdy historian discover hidden treasure in a tomb, and just need to survive the undead and their curses long enough to douse themselves in holy water or whatever to sally off into the sunset with their bags of gold and live happily ever after.

What about the mummy's side?

You're dead. You've been dead for millennia, had your organs removed and rites read, been embalmed and dressed and laid to rest amid vast and well-appointed rooms chock-full of wealth. You strode into the afterlife like the king that you are, and have been reigning ever since. The river flows with milk and honey, eternal virgins attend your every physical desire, and your generosity knows no bounds as you shower endless wealth upon your adoring people.

And then...it stops. The river dries up, sour milk rotting in rivulets across the sticky bedrock. The maidens have vanished one by one, carried off by callous, disrespectful hands. The gold that once towered in piles around your palace disappeared much more quickly, not a single coin or ingot left. And your people turn on you. Not in anger, but in fear, hands clawing you, gaping mouths screaming soundlessly, bodies flattening and fading like living murals.

Anubis snatches you out of the waking nightmare, to something much worse: judgement. What? You have been judged already! Your heart weighed against a feather, the wisdom and love you so carefully curated in life keeping it light enough to guarantee your safe passage into an eternal paradise.

Except not so eternal, it seems. Robbers, he tells you. You cannot believe it. Even the bravest, most brazen, most despicably faithless dogs would not disturb your rest. Raid your tomb, yes, take your finery, yes, strip your body of its ornaments and peel the gold off the sarcophagus, perhaps, but not you. Your body in its wrappings, your organs in their jars, should be left alone. They could dump your empty bones on the floor of the pyramid and walk away with every material possession your people saw fit to entomb you with, but nothing of consequence would be taken from you in the afterlife.

They have not just taken your possessions, says Anubis. They have taken you.

Taken the sarcophagus? Surely they would remove your body to lighten the load--

They have taken you, he says.

Removed me to some lesser grave, to set up some new king in a glorious pyramid he himself could not afford to build? Tacky, and rude, but it has been done before--

They have taken you, he stresses again.

...have I fallen so far out of favor with my people, with Egypt herself, that they would strip me of my title and my rest?

Your god crouches, and looks you gently in the eyes, and says again, They have taken you.

And then he adds: You have ten days to return.

And you awake on a boat, a horrific thing of metal and smoke, surrounded by treasures packed in wooden crates and straw, admired by an endless parade of foreigners who ooh and ahh over your dead body and do not, cannot understand what they are costing you, making you their macabre trophy of the dullest hunt you can imagine.

You will teach them what a real hunt is.

(The rest of the movie is a timed horror-thriller as the hero, trapped in his own desiccated corpse, shambles around London trying to find his heart and return to Egypt, while attacked on all sides by monster hunters and grave robbers who don't understand that they're the bad guys. It is an epic struggle to stay the course and not fall into a vengeful frenzy, to keep his heart pure enough to pass the feather again, to FIND his heart in the first place.)

#the mummy #new mummy #You Woke the Mummy: An Imperialist Horror #maybe the real friends were the monsters we made along the way #Anubis does not have a jackal head he just wears one to parties #the virgins are totally into it the king is very cute and flirty okay #they stayed chaste their whole lives to score some royal D in the afterlife let them have this