#THIS PROBABLY DOESNT MAKE SENSE AND IS DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN BUT I. BASICALLY A LOT OF STRESS FOR NET ZERO CHANGE

[buggachat]

Part 178 of my bakery “enemies” au!

baking montage!

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Kofi

#ml #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #marinette dupain cheng #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #adrienette #adrinette #my art #bakery enemies au #this scene is my bane apparently because I keep rearranging the parts and so #anyway remember how i took a break because i rearranged the parts so an incomplete part was wedged in #anyway i completed that part. and then i. rearranged it again. so now it's no longer wedged there and i #THIS PROBABLY DOESNT MAKE SENSE AND IS DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN BUT I. BASICALLY A LOT OF STRESS FOR NET ZERO CHANGE #GOOD FOR ME!! 😎😎😎 #also i think the spooning scene's mature mark was removed so that's cool #last part still missing though dw about it

[xherry7816]

i wasnt gonna post this bc i think i sound like wn idiot but then i remember that literally doesnt matter.

no sad skecth of a ninja today for i bringforth FIGHTING HEADCANONS.

in no way am i versed in knowledge about fightimg so im just gonna try and explain as best as i can.

JAY - i hc that JAY is one of the lightest members in the team, he doesnt have a lot of muscle so to counter that id imageine he'd fight in a way that he can use his whole body weight rather than a punch or a kick. i think hed be quite fluid in his motion, lots of flips and cool dodging maneuvers over his opponents to be able to bring his weight down upon them. so yeah in a simpler way id say dodging around and then countering is kinda his stuff, he moves around a lot basically. hes the kinda guy to use his power and physically strength as equally as possible and sometimes boosts phys strength with his elemental.

KAI - at the start KAI can kinda be described as lacking in aspects from the other three bc he didnt get to train together as longer so id imagine he goes for a very defeat as fast as possible approach. lots of strong powerful movements because he knows once an enemy finds a weakness he'll have a hard time. of couse once hes trained and all that jazz i think hed still go along with the same approach since hes been doing it for so long but i picture more flashy, confident movements hes definitely more into the risky moves as long as it gets the jobs done and makes him look cool. he'd be a fan of big movements which would show off his flames.

ZANE - most likely the type to act once he knows enough about his enemy, his moves are calculated and concise and hes most likely never to make a move unless necessary. hes the type of person to study an art closely so he fights in set forms but is adaptable and is most likely versed in several different forms. i think weapons/elements would depend on the sort of enemy theyre fighting, element against element and weapon against weapon unless its a difficult fight.

NYA - though being the last ninja, because of his perfectionist nature i think she would kinda grind until she perfected a fighting style that best fit him. much like her element her movements are fluid and confident, i think he'd kinda have like attack combos constantly berating an enemy with powerful attacks with little openings for retaliation. she likes to think ahead in terms of element use and thinks how his current moves would benefit the fight going forward intsead of swinging some water and hoping for the best.

LLOYD - probably the most elemental oriented out of them all due to the nature of his element being ljkr the best one and stuff. hes the type to use larger scale attacks or multi attacks to hit multiple enemies at once rather than focusing on one and maybe hitting a few others if theyre in the way. hes not confident in the defense and thus focuses more on his powerful offense making sure he always has the upperhand. with a weapon hes a bit more wary and calculating of his opponent and much like KAI (who i hc taught him the sword) tries to take them down asap.

COLE - i kinda think COLE would have an accidentally flashy fightstyle. like i think hes very elementally oriented but in a way that he channels earth through his weapons and body, he does large earth punches and throws literal mountains of rock. his moves are strong and steady and probably most fond of using his hands over anything else. rather than specifically aiming for one i think hes more to hit many at once to help speed up the process of taking them down if that makes sense.

the quality of these was bad at JAY and then just keeped getting worse as i went down LOL

hope those made sense and were idk cool or smth ???

EXCITED 4 UNITED WHOO !! (still hasnt watched CRYSTALLIZED help !l

#ninjago #lego ninjago #kai ninjago #nya ninjago #ninjago lloyd #cole ninjago #zane ninjago #jay ninjago #ninjago headcanons #lloyd garmadon #zane julien #jay walker #kai smith #nya smith #cole brookstone #im just kidding they all actually just pull up with glocks n start firing

[mourningmoth]

so since i cant make my own content quick enough for myself, im just gonna infodump about my nerevarine and vivec's relationship, which hopefully i can later convey better with actual art, but also it involves some context, lol

i am always thinking about their dynamic tho bc its rly fun to work with since their whole thing is so complicated

in ivesi's story specifically, ive decided on the canonical status of some details that are left to player interpretation, such as whether the player character actually is nerevar or not

so in this canon, ivesi is a reincarnation of nerevar (but only after mantling via prophesies, ie i like 2 think she specifically becomes nerevar through effort). as an outlander dunmer, she's also familiar with the tribunal gods, but never really got to have a connection to them culturally, so she has this sense of unfamiliarity with them up until she actually gets to morrowind

anyway! in my head, their friendship works out as kind of a slow burn, where ivesi doesnt fully trust vivec at first, but softens her opinion the more they talk, and the more questions ivesi asks

(strangely enough, vivec's crypticbullshit-speak doesnt seem to bother ivesi much, but theres... a point where she can get frustrated with non-straight forwardness lmao)

ivesi also tends to ask questions of vivec that are difficult or uncomfortable to answer, so from vivec's side of things, theyre not too psyched about ivesi at first either

from ivesi's pov also, its really weird because shes basically forced to cooperate with this person for obvious reasons, while also having that uncomfortable lingering air of "hey u knew me in my past life and u POSSIBLY killed me, maybe explain?"

i like 2 think ivesi presses about the "foul murder" a few times, and gets a different side-steppy response every time (which at first, vivec gives to gauge her reaction), but eventually they seem to break down eachothers walls enough to the point that vivec EVENTUALLY honestly answers that they did not kill nerevar, which (at that point) she actually believes

(and like. i kno the final mission against dagoth ur takes place right after meeting vivec but SHH in my dumb little world, the assault on red mountain actually took some time to prep because i need self-indulgent character relationship time)

whats also nice about their dynamic to me, is that they're basically the only two people even capable of being the others friend, since theyre really the only ones aside from the other tribunes who have a real understanding of the situation and ivesi's role in it (thats not true entirely tho bc POST main-quest, ivesi does learn how to actually maintain relationships and makes a few friends later on)

like, to ivesi, vivec is the only person she CAN talk to who understands who she is in a meaningful way. to vivec, ivesi is the only mortal person theyre willing to divulge certain information to, given their shared history and vivec's cutoff from both soth sil and almalexia

it's like theyre the only people the other has "left" of their personal relationships (this is also because ivesi is sort of standoffish and doesnt have a lot of other friendships prior to the vivec thing anyway. its trauma), further compounded by how dire the situation is right before voryn is defeated, so they really feel "lost" and alone with eachother for a good minute

altho from vivec's pov it's probably rly weird that u've simultaneously known this person for like, a couple months but ALSO hundreds of years. (it makes sense) so i also like to think because of this innate familiarity vivec has with ivesi by virtue of her being nerevar, that vivec has a hard time deciding how to regard her at first, and how candid/honest to be and when

i just think about their dumb complicated shit a lot

#thinking about imaginary elves #ivesi #<- official ivesi content tag btw #the dreamer is awake #'as opposed to non-imaginary elves' yes yes i know

[vampkomori]

anyone else think neo’s reports are weird about composers i think theyre weird about composers. lets make sense of joshuas status as composer and hazuki as comparison

this is gonna be a bit long. so anyway the og reports are p straightforward about what Composers (specifically, joshua) can and cannot do:

- Joshua can only pick up Hanekoma’s vibe, because Angel vibes are too high frequency for him to pick up

- Inter-planar contact (so, communication between the UG and the Higher Plane in this case) is difficult, which is brought up because

- The Composer, Joshua, only resides in the UG.

- But the Producer, who is an Angel, mainly resides in the Higher Plane, and only occasionally lingers in the UG.

The whole matter of jumping between worlds highlights the difference between their abilities even more:

- As Composer, Joshua is one of the beings who can jump between worlds, but isn’t meant to do so often. His vibe dipped too low, so Hanekoma had to come retrieve him, because as an Angel this sort of travel is simple for him.

the OG reports make it pretty clear Joshua isnt an Angel

*But. unfortunately its not that easy. because by clearing the final time trial joshua gives you an item called Angel Feather (天使のハネ in JP), of which the description says “Our buyer used divine means to acquire this mysterious feather that was once in the possession of Shibuya's Composer.“ (which some have interpreted as, “in the possession of” meaning “it was given to him” potentially by hanekoma, who actually IS an Angel)

and if things are vague, we turn to the JP to clear us up! but its. still vague there bc it says “バイヤーが特別な力で入手した渋谷エリアのコンポーザーが持っていた謎の羽根“ (The mysterious feather that was held/carried by the Composer of the Shibuya area that the buyer obtained with a special power)

so. we are none the wiser about whose feather this is. i imagine its up to interpretation whether its joshuas feather or hanekomas, who then gave it to joshua. but given how clearly the reports differentiate between the Composer and Angels in regards to their abilities, suffice to say theres two interpretations that are most likely

- Composers arent Angels, their power disparity is just too much

- Composers are Angels, but theyre so much weaker compared to the Angels who reside in the Higher Plane that they’re never referred to as Angels, just as Composers

which takes us to neo, and hazukis little lightshow

i think its notable that the reports dont comment on kubos so-called “exorcism”, and only on haz erasing his noise.

haz himself refers to his little stunt as “exorcising” kubo, while in JP he actually says haiki 廃棄, get rid of, revoke, invalidate.

i think its important that he clarified “i didnt erase him, i exorcised him”. because with kubo, the executor, being an Angel from the Higher Plane, a Composer shouldnt be able to erase someone of higher ranking than them. i think as the person who called upon kubo in the first place, haz could specifically revoke his services and send him back to the Higher Plane.

which means kubo wasnt erased, he was just sent back. hes still kickin

we could leave things right here as they are. Canonically, Composers are so far beneath Angels to a point where even if they were Angels themselves, they are so much weaker than them that they could hardly be referred to as such

this is where the facts end. but im gonna keep going and have fun speculating about things and include some i dont have physical proof of (yet)

its notable that in JP, hazuki says that kubo tried to purify shibuya probably because he wanted to be praised by Hazuki. which is weird if kubos supposed to be higher ranking than haz. (in EN, haz just says hes always been an overachiever) but lets put a pin in that for later 📌

which takes us to the matter of Shinjuku’s Producer. or their lack thereof

throughout all of neo’s reports, there is not a single mention of Shinjuku having a Producer. before neo, we kind of assumed every UG’s setup follows largely the same structure. a Composer, a Conductor, a Producer, and then some Reapers. but Shinjuku does not seem to have a Producer. and i think its because it doesnt need one.

its important to remember Who is writing these reports and Who theyre for. the reports are written by shibuyas Producer, and theyre written for the Higher Plane. and shibuyas Composer cant pick up the vibes of any Angel except hanekoma, so he cant be the one writing the reports for beings he cant even pick up the vibes from, especially since he only resides in the UG.

and yet, hanekoma comments that Hazuki should have filed a report, and that haz is disinterested in the lower planes.

in English its a little vague about who hes talking about, but the JP specifies Shinjukus Composer as the subject of this sentence.

throughout both reports, the UG and RG are considered part of the lower planes. its strange for a Composer to have no interest in the very planes they govern, plus for a Composer to file a report to the Higher Plane when its been established that Joshua, as a Composer, cant even perceive anyone from there.

so i think Hazuki may actually be a proper Angel from the Higher Plane, who was potentially demoted to become Shinjukus Composer.

though you can very much interpret haz “exorcising” kubo as simply “sending him back whence he came”, its of course pretty anticlimactic to see this massive laser beam essentially disintegrate kubo on a molecular level, only for it to have been a quick ride back to the higher plane with kubo being perfectly in tact after. if haz were actually much more powerful than an ordinary Composer, itd make sense why he would have been able to erase an Angel like kubo so. thoroughly.

this would also explain why kubo may have wanted to be praised by hazuki in the JP dialogue. with hazuki potentially being an outlier for Composers and being far Higher ranking than kubo, our executor may have wanted to sucker up a bit. maybe get promoted and away from his “basically a janitor” job if haz puts in a good word for him upstairs

theres also hazukis entire demeanor, and how Bad he is at acting like a normal person

we know of four paths that Players can take

they can choose erasure

they can choose resurrection to return to the RG

they can become Reapers

they can become Angels

and Reapers can eventually become Angels, though its yet unclear if the only way for that to happen is

for them to become Composer (potentially the Lowest Angel-rank there is) and thats it.

or if Composers can ascend and become Actual Angels and eventually reside in the Higher Plane, though how a successor for the seat of Composer is chosen in that scenario is yet entirely unknown since Usually the seat only becomes vacant when the previous Composer is defeated

or if they, as a Reaper, need to Ask the Composer who then asks the Producer to send a guy for evaluation or something

or if the Higher Plane has like, a talent scout guy somewhere.

potentially more than one may apply but at least the last point is the most likely, because

Conductors are invited to the Higher Plane (probably to become Angels) upon purification

(interesting to note that Composers are not mentioned as being invited, which would point to “theyre Angels, but like, weak-ass Angels”)

anyway, the point is that so far weve been told that Angels were Players or Reapers at one point. we know Joshua was a Player for sure, given the morsels of backstory we get from him and Hanekoma. but we dont know if All Angels came from the RG at one point, or if Angels that have always been Angels exist.

either way, the point is that for Hazuki to act so non-human like and to be disinterested in the UG and RG, he either must have been an Angel for a very long time, or he was never human to begin with.

this is relevant to how he interacts with joshua in the Secret Ending, though its a lot less obvious in English, in JP their dynamic is clear: Joshua is his senior, and as his junior, Hazuki looks to him as an example.

for one, thats hilarious. secondly, that recontextualizes like everything

‘course, you could keep the interpretation that theyre just Both weak-ass angels and hazuki just made kubo use a flashy dramatic elevator to the HP and nothing groundbreakingly powerful happened, but thats kinda anticlimactic

so. staying w the idea that hazuki may be a demoted Angel from the Higher Plane, then itd make sense for Joshua to have been Composer for longer than him, and for haz to act Like...That, since he couldve been not-human for a Very long time, or Never was one in the first place, but is still a younger Composer bc he got demoted like. 4 years back or something.

it also explains why Shinjuku may not need a Producer, and why Hazuki is the one writing his reports. its because hes still an Angel from the Higher Plane, so he does not need an intermediary to contact other Angels.

so to summarize what im tryna say here

Hazuki may have initially been a regular Angel from the Higher Plane, before he eventually got demoted to become Shinjukus Composer, despite how disinterested he is in the UG and RG. (he is considered to be “infamously unsympathetic”, a trait which is reinforced in the JP version to be something he is known for amongst the Higher Plane, which could potentially be the reason for his demotion)

Since hes Joshuas junior, that means he hasnt been Composer for as long as Joshua has, so Hazuki looks to him to know what youre even supposed to do/how to act/etcetera as Composer. With his Special circumstances, he does not need a Producer as an intermediary to interact with the Higher Plane, because hes already an Angel so he can do it himself.

whatever Angel Hierarchy there may be, Hazuki is at the very least a higher rank than an Executor, considering how kubo wanted to impress him, and how haz effortlessly got rid of him. with kubo being from the Higher Plane, joshua is decidedly lower ranking than kubo, and cant even pick up his vibe. which clearly positions haz into a unique circumstance as a Composer bc of this discrepancy in ranking and power. amen

<><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><> <><><>

theres other things that back this up but i unfortunately do not have a source for them, so This section, take with a grain of salt.

Supposedly, in neo’s data files:

Joshua is referred to as an Advanced Angel

Kubo as a Junior Angel, and

Hazuki as a Senior Angel

i only heard this secondhand and have no way of corroborating this myself, but if this is true then that lines up with the super long super sexy little essay i just wrote up there

this “ranking” solidifes Kubos position as Hazukis underling. which, if he were an ordinary Composer, wouldnt even be possible.

Joshua is notably a different rank from Haz, though its difficult to figure out if “Advanced” is supposed to be Lower than junior, or Higher than senior. thats up to interpretation until its possibly ever acknowledged,

but my interpretation is that an Advanced Angel is lower than a Junior Angel. i think “advanced” in this case is meant to refer to the traditional evolution of players to reapers to the composer, advancing from one status to the next.

--

**Little post-edit, @/inkerii gave me the actual designation in the files! (so this ones backed-up!)

so in the files, theyre designated ranks are as follows

Joshua: 男、天使上級 ※前作  (Male, Senior/Advanced Grade Angel ※from the Previous work)

Hazuki: 男、天使上級 (Male, Senior/Advanced Grade Angel)

Kubo:   男、天使下級 (Male, Junior/Lower Grade Angel)

so haz and joshua are the same rank bc theyre both Composers! since thats an internal data text kinda thing it might not have any bearing on like, potential Technical exceptions since they Are both the same “job”, but mightve gotten it under different circumstances.

as for kubo potentially being lower ranking than even a Composer, i think unless we find out what a Producers ranking is, we cant say much abt whether an Executors lower or higher. i kinda mean it in the sense of,  Producers are a Composers subordinate bc they follow their orders and have to create the things theyre tasked to make by the Composer (pins, etc), but may still be “higher” in ranking because they reside in the Higher Plane/jump between parallel worlds, while a Composer cannot. an Executor may be in a similar position where theyre a Composers underling, tasked by Composers to purify things, but may actually be “higher” in ranking because they reside in the higher plane, etc!

i think regardless of whether kubo turns out to be lower ranking than joshua or not, hazuki could still be Even More Higher in a way where he actually has like, sway over whether he could get a promotion! if that was his intent. he could also just be a huge suck up. a real kiss ass. teachers pet for angels

---

theres also the ntwewy Official Guidebook, which has a small comment beneath hazuki that says

and i additionally remember an interview, though i dont have a source for this claim and i could very much be misremembering, but i recall seeing the reason for hazuki not being the final boss is because they did not think players could suspend their disbelief far enough to accept that the twisters would be able to defeat a being from the Higher Plane.

which is perfectly reasonable, but

Composers are meant to be able to be defeated by Players or Reapers. if hazuki really was so powerful that itd be impossible for them to defeat him, then hed be far too strong to be an ordinary Composer, since thats. how you take over in the first place. thats kinda the whole plot of og twewy.

anyway that concludes my case

#neo twewy spoilers #neo twewy #ntwewy #the world ends with you #twewy meta #hazuki mikagi #twewy composer #vampymori.txt #(uses my gay little brain to figure out a way the neo reports dont retcon lore) BEHOLD.... #i like this bc its funny as hell to think haz like. did something to be DEMOTED? #SORRY THAT CONCEPTS HILARIOUS TO ME #i didnt talk abt it much but the fact that hes called Infamously Unsympathetic #and in JP it additionally implies that the Higher Plane thinks this way of him as well #that means. they hated his ass so much they were like GET OUT #oh another thing. i didnt know where to add it #but in neos social network joshua is referred to as 'a being from a Higher Plane' #its notable that it says 'a' not 'the' Higher Plane (capitalized) bc the og reports do say the UG is on a higher plane than the RG #so like. its true. just a weird way to say hes from the UG #im p sure joshuas never BEEN to The actual Higher Plane #he wouldnt even be able to SEE anyone there. much less elevate his vibe that high #anyway. godspeed thanks for reading #hazuki demotion theory #is what im basically calling this LOL

[azurevi]

Hello! I saw that your requests are open. Can I request a oneshot for Jade who is crushing on a fem!MC but MC doesnt believe him cuz she always feels like hes just doing this for some other reasons *cough* contract *cough*

Jade having a crush on fem!MC

I feel like this is kinda bad... because I suck at confessions lol, hope you like it though ^^

Jade is the same around anyone.

Polite smiles, gentlemanly gestures and well-calculated words. It's hard to understand him sometimes, considering how often he wears the same expressions. 

That's why there was no way he was interested in you. He treated you just like how he treated every other person. Even if he showed additional kindness, it was probably because of the contract you signed with Azul.

It was probably a bad choice to do business with Azul, but you had no choice. You had been in need for money, and Grim's constant desire for tuna cans was getting out of hand. It wasn't like you could leave him to starve, and you didn't really feel like leaving the campus to find part-time jobs. That was when Jade came in with the suggestion that you went to help in Mostro Lounge.

Jade was always offering help whenever he could, you noticed. Like teaching you topics you didn't understand and leading you to your destination because you were still unfamiliar with the place. You realized that it was probably out of guilt, after all the mess that happened in the Octavinelle dorm.

Back to the present, that explained why you were now bound to work by a contract. It wasn't that bad though, everyone was friendly and understanding even though you made mistakes sometimes.

"Y/N, do you need a break?" Jade walked towards you on your way towards the kitchen.

"Oh, I'm fine, there aren't that many customers for me anyways," you looked around and saw Floyd rushing back and forth to take orders. "For some reason, Floyd is working extra hard. I wonder why he's so energetic these days,"

"Well, that means you can work less, so it's not really a bad thing," he said casually. You knew that they were simply out of courtesy, but his words showed so much care that you felt happiness growing in your chest.

"I suppose so-"

Before you could finish your sentence, you were cut off by an annoyed Floyd stomping towards the two of you. "How can you two just stand here while I do all the work? This is so unfair!"

"Come on, Floyd. We had an agreement," Jade said quietly, but loud enough for you to hear. You wondered what he meant.

Floyd looked insistent at first, but then he sighed and walked back to the customers, looking defeated.

"Well, I guess I'll find something to do too," you said, albeit still curious about what that was all about.

"Ah, right. Be careful then," Jade waved you off, seemingly a little disappointed that your chat ended so soon. 

--

"Why are you doing this anyways? It's not like she'll know," Floyd murmured as he cleaned the place with Jade. Everyone had already gone home, except for the twins and Azul, who was working in the VIP room.

"I simply don't want her to overwork himself,"

"So you're going to overwork me instead?"

"I'm not overworking you. I promised to get you the limited edition of the sneakers you want, didn't I?"

Floyd grunted, unable to retort. 

Working at Mostro Lounge could be stressful. The number of customers varied depending on the time, and it could be difficult for a newcomer like you to get used to. Not to mention that you were still a first year trying to adapt to this world.

"You know, Jade? I think you just like her,"

"What makes you say that?" Jade said, although his smile had already given him away..

"Everything? You treat her so nicely! I've never seen you so generous before,"

"Am I that evil in your eyes?" he laughed. "I guess I do find myself attracted to her,"

"I'm not sure if she feels the same way though. She seems to think that you're doing it out of respect,"

Jade didn't answer. 

Of course he noticed. No matter how much he did for you, you still couldn't seem to pick up the hint. He was already doing all he could, going out of his way just to delight you and show to you just how special you were to him, but all his efforts were futile.

That didn't seem to stop him though, if anything, his feelings even started to blossom because of the increased chances of seeing you. It was all so new and exciting to him, falling in love and experiencing all the conflicted emotions inside him.

"Why can't you just tell her?" Floyd asked. 

"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do that,"

Floyd tapped his chin for a few times. "Just go up to her, give her some flowers and say anything that's on your mind!"

"Are you sure it's that simple?" Jade said. Floyd's suggestion wasn't half bad, but Jade had envisioned something more official. A bunch of flowers seemed so bland.

"If she really likes you back, I think she'll like whatever you give her," Floyd said before getting back to work, leaving Jade in his deep thoughts.

--

On a tiring day after school, you found Jade waiting outside your classroom, hoping to invite you to tea. You accepted right away, already anticipating hanging out with him.

Apparently he set up a nice table and some snacks in the botanical garden. The garden was warm and refreshing, with fragrances of flowers and plants enriching your senses. 

"What is the occasion?" you asked, settling down on the seat across Jade. He poured a crimson colored tea into your teacup, hiding a soft smile. You weren't sure you'd seen it before.

"I just wanted to enjoy your accompany," 

Your heart leapt to a great height, but you hid it behind the cup as you took a sip. The surprises kept coming as you tasted the sweet, warm tea in your mouth. 

"This tastes so good! What's it called?"

"I experimented on it a while back then. It's one of my favourites," Jade grinned, his mismatched eyes disappearing into slits. "I wanted you to be the first one to taste it. I thought it'd be a good opportunity for me to tell you something,"

"Yes?" 

There was silence for a while, and you could see what seemed to be nervousness on Jade's face before he spoke again. 

"Would you like to go on a date with me?"

You were glad you hadn't been sipping the tea, because you would've choked on it. 

"Go- go on a date with you?" Does he actually like you that way? Why hadn't you noticed before? Does he have a crush on you?

"Yes.. I understand that you might not have noticed, but I actually like you a lot," Jade basically just answered all the questions on your mind. "Will you give me a chance? I promise to take good care of you,"

"Of course!" you said ecstatically before clearing your throat, composing yourself. "I've always liked you too, you know? I just wasn't sure if you felt the same,"

"I guess I'll display more affection to you from now on," he said, lips arched in a small smile as he raised his cup of tea to it. It was useless though, as the blush on his cheeks were vividly visible. It was a Jade that you'd never seen, and a Jade that only you could see.

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland #jade leech x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #sie writes

[nocturnegyser]

The feels

Warren x Reader (raccoon)

A/N: I’ve had this typed out for a while and I wanted to go do more Warren x Raccoon material, I just decided to actually go through it, it still probably sucks but I tried. I’m not a professional in any sense, anyways, enjoy :3

———

Summary: Warrens been acting strange.. (y/n) tries to find out what’s happening with him, wonder what it is?

———

Having only been going to her new school for 2 months, (y/n) has already met so many cool people. She even started her band called ‘Clean Trash’, ironically not with Warren on the drums.

The one replacing Warren on drums was a 5th grader named Ryan Husk, his muatation allows to move any liquid with his mind, their bassist being an 8th grader named Mars Palenski, his mutation gives him a giant rats tail and ears, pretty similar to (y/n)’s raccoon ears and tail.

Needless to say, (y/n) was getting along just fine, she was keeping up with her classes, nothing perfect but she didn’t care, just as long as she was passing.

———

Waking up one morning for breakfast, (y/n) nader her way to the kitchen for hopefully some marshmallow mateys, one she got there she saw Warren standing at the stove preparing food, both locking eyes when she walked in.

This reminded (y/n) of their first proper time meeting, although instead of giving Warren a death look, she smiled and wished him a good morning.

Warren doing the same, (y/n) was grabbing the cereal and milk, in the midst of preparing her breakfast.

“I can make you some french toast if you want” Warren offered

“Huh?.. oh.. yea ok” the still waking up very tired raccoon girl sitting down at the counter

Peter and Alex then walking in greeting both a good morning, then returning a good morning back.

Peter then smelling the french toast “Oh man! I love your french toast!” Peter getting excited

“Fuck off, I’m not making you anymore after what happened last time” Warren staring daggers at Peter while setting a plate in front of (y/n) and himself

“What happened last time?” (y/n) asked pouring syrup on her stack

“Well basically-“ Peter started then Alex shortly cutting him off “He finished all 24 pieces Warren spent almost an hour making, he didn’t even get a single bite”

“Dang” (y/n) responded while taking a bite “Hey, what do you expect from me? I was too hungry!”

“Some damn self control would be nice” Warren still staring daggers at Peter, both opting to eat the same marshmallow mateys (y/n) was planning on eating

———

After finishing (y/n) washed her dishes and offered to help Warren clean up but he insisted she go and get ready for classes, she took him up on it and go ready for the day, washed her face, brushed her teeth, hair, ears and tail.

(y/n) and Warren didn’t have any classes together, their schedules didn’t really cross paths a lot, even morning breakfasts like that were rare, (y/n) was content with their schedules not matching up all the time, she was happy with whatever time they did spend together if any at all.

(y/n) mostly ate lunch with Jubilee and if she wasn’t available for lunch then Mars and Ryan would eat with her.

It was after classes when Clean Trash would practice in the unused music room, that is if neither Ryan or Mars had homework.

She had a policy if either of them had homework before coming to practice they would have to finish it before they turn the amps on, or if they got in trouble they wouldn’t practice that day, they didn’t practice on the weekends though.

“You guys got any homework?” (y/n) asked her band mates, “No,” both answered truthfully

“Ok, let’s begin with ‘My heart is a futon’” (y/n) taking initiative

“How do you come up with these song names?” Mars asked

“I dunno, just whatever comes to mind, mind counting us off Ryan?” (y/n) pointing at Ryan, guitar pick in hand

“One, two, three, four, one two!”

Warren just so happened to be passing by the music room the band was in and overheard them playing.

Wanting to go unnoticed, he peeked in through the window watching and listening to them play, mostly focusing on (y/n) though.

Jean shortly caught him watching them and overheard what he was thinking

She has a really good singing voice, not to mention how her hair falls perfectly while playing..

“Wow,” Jean interrupting his thought “Never seen you this head over heels for someone, must be pretty special”

“Hey! I’m not ‘head over heels’, okay?“ Warren realizing she knows exactly what she’s talking about “They just sound really good is all”

“Right, just like what you thought on the ride to the movies” Jean flustering the already flustered angel boy even more “You think you’re ever going to tell her?”

“How do you- look, quit reading my thoughts okay? I don’t have anything to tell her” Warren becoming a little defensive “We’re just friends”

“Warren, you’re only friends for so long before she moves on” Jean trying to convince him

“Moves on? what’s that supposed to mean?” Warren asked confused

“You’re going to see what I mean, just waiting around doing nothing” Jean then walking off

Move on?... does she mean... no

Warren takes one more glance of (y/n) playing before walking off

———

In his room who he shared with Kurt, laying on his bed thinking to himself

Should I tell her?... Will someone else come along?...

Kurt and Alex bursting in throwing Warrens train of thought off, both seeing his worry almost immediately

Kurt, trying to be a good friend crouched down near Warren “You have immense sadness in your eyes friend, tell us what’s wrong?”

Warren, not wanting to talk about it, but not wanting to come off too mean, “Ok Blue, listen, I don’t want to talk about anything, especially with you” eventually just walking out in a huff

“... Think it was something I said?” Kurts ears flopped in a sad manner, Peter assuring him it was him “Ah jeez, he’s been like this since our horror movie trip plan fell through, must’ve really wanted to watch that movie..”

What would I ever say.. How would I even say it... when.. should I say... GAH! I hate this! I’m going to workout

Walking in the locker room , he ran into Scott already talking to friends.

His friends having already gotten ready before him, they went on ahead leaving Scott alone with Warren.

“Hey Warren! I haven’t talked to you since the horror movie fail, how’ve you been man?” Scott trying to spark a small conversation getting ready

“Yeah I’ve been fine” Warren already disconnecting from the world around him

“Yeah, you never told us how your trip to the music shop with (y/n) was” Scott joked

“It was fine” Warren replied coldly

“Fine enough you started acting less cranky all the time?”

“It was until you opened your mouth” Warren getting done before Scott and heading into the gym

———

In her room, (y/n) and Jubilee are planning the elementary classes Summer picnic, it was a special request by Charles.

“So that’s 25 turkey sandwiches for the kids with nut allergies.. and 45 pb & j’s.. in total thats.. 70 sandwiches, whoooff” (y/n) laying back in her bed just wanting to go to sleep even thought it was only 4:37pm

“Ok Scott called the ice cream parlor and they did have each classes flavor selections, but we do have to go pick them up ourselves the day of,” (y/n), Jubilee, Scott and Jean have all been tasked in helping plan this picnic for some time.

“Ok I guess that just leaves... actually making the sandwiches, sorting the sandwiches, and picking up everything else.. ugh, I don’t hate these kids but why do there have to be so many of them” (y/n) was super exhausted

“Doesn’t your reality manipulation allow you to multiply objects?”

“I don’t have it under control yet, so as of the moment.. no”

“Well not taking the easy way goes to show how much you care right? Besides, isn’t one of your band members attending this picnic? Ryan Dust, right?”

“Husk, and yes, he is coincidentally in the class I’ll be helping supervise”

“You see? wouldn’t it be just awesome for little Ryan to his bands leader working hard?”

“Ugh... I guess so”

“Well I gotta get going” Jubilee started packing her things, “I gotta meet with Jane and discuss seating arrangements, see if you can get any help with the sandwiches, maybe ask Warren?”

“Why Warren?” (y/n) confused why Jubilee specifically said Warren

“Why not Warren? Doesnt Ryan look up to Warren as a drummer? I’m sure it would make Ryan super motivated to see two people he looks up to working so hard”

“Yea ok but-“

“Hold that but. I gotta go, talk later”

With that over, for now, (y/n) started cleaning up the mess of papers on her bed and grabbed her phone to call Warren, voicemail.

Huh... guess he’s busy right now.. I’ll ask again later... but I might forget to ask later and he might over book his schedule, he really needs to stop doing that... Oh! I know! I’ll set a reminder on my phone! this phone has a reminder app doesn’t it?

Navigating her phone proved to be more difficult than she anticipated, considering she’s had her phone longer than a month, it was still her first phone, her brother got it for her before she left, she never really got around to learning how to use it.

Getting frustrated not finding what she needed using her phone, (y/n) opted to asking Warren in person

———

Running around the whole mansion looking for Warren and even asking people who knew him if they saw him around, no luck.

Until she ran into Kurt and Peter in the main hall, (y/n) immediately running up to them and asking both if the saw him anywhere.

“Uh, yeah last we saw him, he was heading to the gym, looked like he was going through it,” Peter answered, Kurt immediately agreeing, “Ja, He stormed off after I asked him what was wrong..”

What was wrong? Going through it? What’s happening with Warren?

Peter then reassuring Kurt it wasn’t his fault Warren was upset, “Dude, I told you, he’s been like this since that movie we went to go see sold out on movie tickets, like I said, he’s probably just pissed he didn’t get to see it”

“Been like what?” (y/n) now concerned

“Well it’s kinda difficult to explain but more happy in a way kinda, but also crank now that he’s more happy, y’know?”

(y/n) understood what he meant, “Yea.. well I’ll ask him about it once I find him, thank guys,” (y/n) then running off towards the gym, the two boys nodding and continuing on with their day.

———

(y/n) made it to the gym, not having really used it yet, she just ran in looking for Warren, she figured she’d look for his wings since they were easy to spot.

After a few minutes of looking, (y/n) eventually spotted Warren lifting weights on a bench in the back.

She was waving and shouting to him hoping he’d notice but he wasn’t paying attention and had his music in.

(y/n) decided she’d approach him and get his attention that way, upon approaching him she tapped his shoulder hoping it would get his attention, big mistake.

Tapping Warrens shoulder triggered his fight instincts and whipped around with full wing span, cutting (y/n) in the face.

She fell to the ground dazed holding her face, Warren immediately realizing what he’s done he immediately runs to her and gives her a towel to cover her cut with.

Scott noticing the commotion ran over to help Warren rush (y/n) to med.

———

Outside of med Warren was pacing back and forth while Scott was sitting on a bench, both waiting for Hank and (y/n).

Warren couldn’t stop pacing, Scott tried to relieve him,” Hey look, worst case scenario, she just has some light scarring..”

Warren immediately erupting, “No! Don’t you get it??! This whole thing means I haven’t changed a bit since Apocalypse!!,” Warren having remembered his nature when he aligned with Apocalypse over 2 years ago.

“Hey! Now don’t say that! You obviously didn’t mean to hurt her, you obviously aren’t the same from then“ Scott trying to assure Warren he isn’t the same from back then, “Look! even you and Kurt can live in the same room! Surely that means something”

“Yea, not like we ever talk,” Warren denying everything Scott was saying, Scott still trying to convince him otherwise, “Even Kurt considers you a friend now, he never saw you as a bad guy Warren, no one has, not even Charles”

Warren still not listening stormed off again, tears almost forming in his eyes, not too long after, Hank brought (y/n) with a clean bill of health apart from the bandage on her face, and a lollipop

“Nothing too bad, the bleeding stopped, it’s best to keep the bandage on to prevent bacteria from getting in,” Hank explained to Scott

“Thanks Mr. Hank, also for the lollipop” (y/n) gratefully thanked, then looking around for Warren “Where’d Warren go?”

“Oh, Warren... he needed to go... take care of something,” Scott nervously told (y/n) not wanting to worry her by telling her he stormed off because he’s afraid he’s the same as when he was with Apocalypse

“Oh... I just needed to talk to him about something..”

“About the sandwiches for the picnic right? Jubilee asked Peter if he could help, with Peter the sandwiches will be done in a second”

(y/n) shaking her head, “No, not that... I needed to ask him about.. something else”

Scott a little confused but realizing, “You’re not.. mad at Warren now are you?” Scott reluctantly asked (y/n)

(y/n) shaking her head again, “Of course not, I probably shouldn’t have snuck up on him like that, it’s just as much my fault I got this that it his,” (y/n) immediately placing the blame on herself for something that obviously wasn’t her fault or Warrens

Both Hank and Scott try to reassure it wasn’t either sides fault

“Well, I know he didn’t mean to hurt me, I just... I need to talk to him”

“Well.. it’s probably not the best time to... bother him, he’s got some .. things to take care of right now,” Scott trying to avoid even more problems between them

“Maybe, but he’s.. my friend, I need to know if he’s alright” (y/n) then speed walking off to go find Warren

“Ah jeez...” Scott sighed

“Think they’re... actually going to talk about... that?” Hank asked

“I dunno, I just hope they’re able to work things out”

———

Having run through the whole mansion looking for Warren once again, (y/n) was certain she knew where he was, but to no avail. On her way back to her room, she noticed the attic ceiling hatch and realized.

“Tch- could he...,” (y/n) began opening the hatch letting the ladder down then ascending up into the attic.

“Hello-“ (y/n) checking to see if anyone was up there, then there he was. Not wanting to alarm him again, she slowly arose from the hatch and go up slowly as to not to alarm him. Warren was just sitting on a window sill looking out, lost in thought

W: *Why did I do that... I told myself she.. I was going to...*

(y/n): *Ok, I can see he isn’t paying attention again... this time I’ll... I’ll call him softly as to not to trigger his attack again*

(y/n) reluctantly took a step closer, stepping on a creaky floorboard thus alerting Warren, Warren looked over and sat up immediately, panic in his eyes.

“(y/n)!” Warren stuttered

“Hi! uh.. I just wanted to check up on you ‘cus I heard from Peter and Kurt that-“ (y/n) trying to be friendly with Warren then cutting her off

“(y/n)! y-you shouldn’t be here, it’s not-“ Warren spat out nervously with (y/n) cutting him off in return

“Ok ok I know I know, you had some stuff to think about but, I just wanted to say I’m sorry I snuck up on you like that, I should have probably alerted you before approaching you, you just had your music in I didn’t know-“ Warren then cutting her off once again “Look. (y/n), I am truly sorry I cut your face but.. you shouldn’t be around me, I’m just-“

“What? Dangerous? just ‘cause you have metal wings? there are people in this world without metal wings who I’m scared of more than you”

“(y/n)-”

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me like that I just.. at first I wanted to ask you about sandwiches but.. Peter and Kurt told me you’ve been ‘going through it’, their words not mine, and I just wanted to see exactly... what it is you’re going through..”

“(y/n), listen, you don’t understand, I’m the Archangel of Death! I don’t belong anywhere here, I just-“ Warren spewed out with (y/n) cutting him off again

“Warren! just shut up and listen to what I have to say!” she bursted out, continuing “I know you don’t mean any harm even whatever happened in the past, I’m not sure what all happened but that’s hopefully why I’m here, I just want to be there for someone who makes this place feel more like home even though we don’t meet up a lot”

“y/n), I-“

“Being here was scary but being here with you.. made it less scary, I don’t know if you feel the same way about me but.. I want. to be there for you when I can, Warren” (y/n) then taking a step closer knowing Warren can’t go anywhere

“Being around you.. I feel.. like maybe being here isn’t so bad, like maybe I can actually make something of myself here, like maybe.. you aren’t so bad..” (y/n) holding herself with tears welling up in her eyes

“I don’t know if you feel the same around me but.. that’s how I feel.. about you” (y/n) finally finishing

“(y/n)...” (y/n) holding for impact, entirely expecting him to reject her feeling, “I feel the same way about you,” Warren then taking a step closer

(y/n) almost gasped not believing what she heard

“Being around you.. brings me to a simpler time in my life and.. whenever we do meet up or bump into each other that feeling washes over me completely and.. I thought you hated my guts when we first met. You calling me angel boy, me calling you trash panda.. I never thought you’d want to talk to me ‘cus..” Warren expanding his wings and motion to them “I also wanted to be there for you when I could but.. I never saw you during the day, so I just..”

Both of them just stood there, looking into each other’s eye, then both taking another step closer to one another.

“Can I..” Warren started, looking deep into (y/n)’s yellow golden eyes, “Can I.. kiss.. you?”

(y/n) tears streaming down her face, just stood there looking up at Warren, not even answering him, she jumped up wrapping her arms around his neck just going for it. They kissed, Warren holding her close to him, (y/n) hasn’t felt so safe since she moved, Warrens wings around both of them. After what felt like forever only being 8 seconds, they separated kissing still holding each other.

“Well... ever kiss a raccoon face girl?” (y/n) joked

“He he, uh.. no but it was definitely a fine start”

Both chuckling before kissing again

———

A/N: if this sucked plz tell me, bully me if it was actually bad :D

#raccoon x warren #warren worthington headcanon #warren worthington iii x reader #warren worthington x reader #warren #warren x raccoon #raccoon #raccoon reader #reader #x-men #x-men fanfic #head canon

[tomcriuse]

hi payton!! i love your "congratulations" gifset so much, especially the font choices and how well they work together! could you please give some tips on choosing appropriate fonts, their colours and some favourite ones of yours? hope this is not a bother!

asfjdhfasd this is absoulutely no bother!!!!! and also STOP thank u i love u <3 im gonna put this under the cut bc idk how long this is gonna be

i think that chosing appropriate fonts really depends on what you're going for! congratulations, for example, is a very upbeat song with lyrics that arent like particularly sad (and thus the set isnt going to be very sad), if that makes any sense--you can get away with a lot more when it comes to the fonts. like, if i had done it's quiet uptown, i probably wouldn't have used some of the fonts and typography styles that i did, just because it wouldnt fit the mood of the set! typically, for sad sets, i stick to a cursive or handwritten font. however, in this case, because of the nature of the song, i just kinda messed around!! 

so like for this gif i was thinking about what words have the most impact/are emphasised when she sings it. to me, the biggest part of this is the "school-yard taunts" bc it like really roasts him and calls him a child basically, so i knew that i wanted those to stand out the most. for the less important/smaller text i usually use a font like arial (i'll put a list of my favourite fonts at the end of this!) or times new roman or something just pretty lowkey. the "school-yard" font is actually also times new roman, but i really liked the way that it looked when it was bigger (also, for cohesion, i felt like i shouldnt do more cursive on this one since the gif above it had cursive in it). 

the word "taunts" was a little more difficult for me to find a font for because i thought it might look a little odd if i was using the same cursive font for this word--like it would just look a little out of place since "school-yard" is pretty thick. so basically what i did is i just went through all the cursive fonts that i had and one by one saw how it looked. im sure there are easier ways, but i find that im always the most satisfied with my sets when i take time to really think about the choice im gonna make, and not just rush through it!! 

lets take the first gif for example as well! i REALLY really love the main font on this, so i knew that i wanted to use it for the main emphasis word/phrase! after that it was trying to find a good font to compliment it! i thought a sans-serif font looked a little messy i guess? or kinda hard to read? im not sure how to explain it, but it looked wrong to me. so i just picked the basic times new roman! 

 i think that a big thing about picking suitable fonts is that they really have to compliment each other and not detract from one another!! this is why i think it's easy to pick a couple words or a phrase and make that your "center" of the typography!! 

as for colours, i usually pick the colours AFTER i colour the gif!! the first gif i made in this set was actually the second one (a damage you can never undo kind of stupid), so i was trying to find a colour that complimented it that i could also replicate in the other gifs, hence the yellow colour! the same thing can be seen in this set that i did (even though i used gradients instead of solid colour)! i decided that since the scenes i was using had orange/yellow and blue as their primary colours, i would base the colouring off of the scene (and if i couldnt, then i would change the colours fdhahdf).

here are some of my favourite fonts!! and if you click on the names it takes you to the download :) 

cursive fonts 

darkfather: this is the main cursive font i used in this set 

kunstler script: i dont really use this font much, but i think im gonna start because its just clean 

rage (italic): this is a little messier than the above font so it just has more chaotic vibes idk 

 sans-serif 

franklin gothic (bold): this is the main sans-serif font that i used in this set!!! 

arial: very basic but very Clean 

eras light itc: this is actually one of my favourite fonts (i used it as the main font in the "you took a rumour" and refuted it by sharing an affair"!!) 

serif (i dont really use serif fonts much because it doesnt look as clean to me BUT)

times new roman: a classic and the only one on this list 

i really hope this helped!! please dont hesitate to reach out again if you wanna know anything else or just want more info!!!!!!!!! i love u

#Anonymous #answered

[lala-the-rebel]

Okay :) Can you please do a college au-ish thing where patton is stressed and Logan calms him down? (Also it doesnt have to be, but if you can keep it on the shorter side that would be cool. I cant read things that are super long cuz I lose focus and it gets difficult to read).

before anything, i do have to admit that i legitimately tried (and failed) to make this short. besides that, was still pretty fun to write so yay

Summary: Logan's been helping out Patton for a while when it comes to studying for their college classes. But when finals roll around, it isn't such an easy process, and poor Patton starts getting stressed out. So, Logan tries to distract him for a while to see if it helps calm him down. 

When Roman and Virgil get word of what he's doing, they try to make all hell break loose. 

And because they do, Logan's plan works a lot better than he thought it would.

Word Count: 2,256 

Warnings: food mentions (really just coffee but eh) (anything i missed, please lemme know) 

read here on ao3! 

---

Patton threw down his pencil in frustration and put his head in his hands. He had been working hard at studying for this final of his, and he almost had everything down. There was just one problem he wasn’t getting no matter how hard he tried, and it was stressing him out way more than he wanted it to. 

Logan had sat beside him this whole time. He had offered a while ago to help Patton out with studying, and it proved to be more successful than any other help Patton had gotten before. This one session, however, was definitely the most difficult. Logan wasn’t even able to figure out how to solve the problem, which was rare. 

And because of that, Patton got even more stressed out. 

Logan racked his brain for a solution. Something, anything to get them both away from the stress for a while.

He finally thought of something. It seemed a bit basic, but it was something. Better than nothing.

“Hey, Patton?” He got the other boy’s attention. “How about we stop studying for right now?”

“Stop studying?” Patton said with a scoff. “Am I hearing you correctly, Lo? Have you been replaced?”

“Yes, you heard me perfectly. And, no, I haven’t been replaced,” he assured the other with a laugh. “I know you’re definitely stressed out right now, which does not create optimal studying results.”

Patton nodded. “I guess you’re right.”

“To continue with my point, I think that your stress can be reduced with more than just not studying. I think you need to distract yourself from just schoolwork in general. Just for a bit. It might allow you to reestablish the focus that will get you that answer you need.”

“Okay then. What do you suggest we do?” Patton asked, looking Logan right in the eye.

“That is for me to know and for you to find out. Now, follow me.” He got up from where they were sitting, closing his textbooks with emphasis. He crossed his arms as he waited for Patton to follow.

Patton didn’t like not knowing what he was up to, but he got up and went along with it anyways. Logan had walked out to his car, gesturing for Patton to get in before him. The other obeyed, knowing there wasn’t a way for him to get out of it. 

They ended up arriving at Starbucks, of all places. Patton was ultimately surprised.

“Why...did we come here?” he asked almost right away. “If you wanted coffee, I could have just made ya some there at my place.”

“Yes, you very well could have,” Logan agreed. “However, I think both of us just needed to get away from there for a while. I’ll explain. By staying at home, you’re more likely to think about studying, particularly the stress from it, since it’s easily accessible to you. I’ve removed both of us as an attempt to relax us in an environment that is not associated at all with the stressor, which in this case is the act of studying itself and anything relating to it. If we’re not around it, it’s easier to forget about it unless we actively choose to think about it all the time. Does that make sense?”

Patton was a bit overwhelmed by the lengthy explanation but understood it for the most part. “So you’re saying not being around my house is gonna make it easier to calm down?”

“More or less. You can take some time to think about something else for a while. Give yourself a mental break before going back there.”

Patton nodded. “That would probably work. Gosh, Logan, you’re so good at thinking of these kinds of things! I don’t know how you do it.”

Logan softly smiled at the compliment, attempting to seem less affected by it than he really was. “Just a natural talent, I suppose. Shall we go in now?”

The two headed in, noticing a rather large line right off the bat. The possibility of waiting disenchanted Patton from the idea a little bit. “Maybe we should just go back. Waiting too long is gonna take away from our study time…”

“Patton, what did we just discuss? You are not to mention studying the entire time we are here. And we’re staying, no matter how long the line is. Besides, I think it won’t take too long.”

Patton sighed. “Fine.”

Logan turned his head slightly to look at the other. “Why don’t you find us a table to sit at while you wait? I’ll order for you.”

“I guess I can do that…” He reluctantly walked off to a table on the other end of the place. Logan watched him the entire time, only turning his attention back to the registers once Patton sat down.

It didn’t take Logan long to reach the front of the line. During his wait, he recited the order a couple times in his head, glanced at Patton, checked his phone, and looked at the menu just in case he wanted something else. It wasn’t until he got closer to the front that he recognized a familiar face taking orders. 

“Welcome, may I take your order?” Virgil recited, monotone as ever. He didn’t even bother looking up from the register as he said it.

“You may, but not without looking at me while you do it,” Logan joked. “I know you know me.”

Hearing Logan’s voice caused Virgil to look up. “Logan?” He scoffed. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Virge, language,” Roman warned as he walked behind him. “You don’t want to get in trouble for it again, right?” He didn’t await Virgil’s answer before speaking again. “Hey, Logan.”

“Hello, Roman.”

“At this point in time, I do not care,” Virgil replied. “And you should know that.”

“I do, but, like I said, I’m just warning you. Now take the poor nerd’s order. You can talk to him on your break.”

Virgil rolled his eyes as Roman walked off. “What do you want, Lo?”

“A caramel frappucino for Patton, and...an iced mocha for myself, I suppose. You know the sizes.”

Virgil nodded, punching in the order. “You’re here with Patton, huh? I’m very curious about how you got conned into that.”

“Evidently. I’m sure Roman is as well.”

“Yeah, well, he can wait. Your total is ten dollars and twenty-five cents.”

“I heard that, Virgil!” Roman called from the back.

Logan snorted as pulled out his card and paid. “He seems thrilled to hear that.”

“It’s not my fault I have a break before he does,” Virgil said nonchalantly as he grabbed the receipt and handed it over. He tapped the register a few more times looking back up at Logan. “Speaking of a break, I’m now officially on that. Gimme a second.”

Logan nodded and waited off to the side. It didn’t take long for Virgil to return. He stood right next to Logan, nudging him a bit as a way to let him know he had arrived. The other gave a small glance his way before going back to look at his phone. “What do you want?”

“You know what I want.”

Logan sighed. He was about to answer before something, or rather someone, interrupted him.

“Hey, wait for me!” Roman blurted as he walked up to them.

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” Virgil smarted off.

“I’m cleaning tables, duh,” Roman returned, holding up the towel that was in his hand. 

“How you two have not been fired yet baffles me,” Logan piped in.

“We wonder that ourselves every day. Now, tell us why you’re here with Patton.”

“Yeah, tell us!” Roman said as he made a half-hearted attempt to look like he was busy by slowly wiping down the table nearest to them.

“Alright. First of all, I didn’t get conned into it. In fact, I suggested it. It was just meant as a break from studying for finals.” 

“Ew, finals.” 

“Ew, studying.” 

Logan rolled his eyes at their complaints, ignoring them. “He was getting really stressed out over it. So, I thought of taking him somewhere for a break.” 

“So you decided to take him to get coffee? How’s coffee supposed to help?” Virgil remarked, crossing his arms.

“I...don’t know. I figured he needed to get out of there so he doesn’t think about it as much, at least. The first place I thought of was here.” 

“You thought of us? How sweet,” Roman joked. 

“Nah, we both know he’s thinking about Patton right now, especially in that way,” Virgil teased. The two of them kept giggling at that while Logan stared them down.

He had previously mentioned that kind of thing to them, emphasizing that it was merely a small, no, infinitesimal possibility, and they took it and ran. They were far from wrong, but Logan did not want them to know that at all. They would hound him so much about it, and he knew he wouldn’t have been able to stand it. He figured to hide anything relating to him and Patton from them. He had until now.

“Oh, of course he would be. I don’t think he would have stopped studying, of all things, if he thought otherwise,” Roman added.

“Will you two stop with that? I was just trying to be considerate!” Logan barked at them. His order had gotten called out then and there. When he turned around to get the drinks, Roman and Virgil slyly looked at each other. They stopped once he turned around to face them again.

Logan furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at them. “Don’t say it.”

“Say what?”

“You know what I mean.” He started walking off in Patton’s direction, ignoring them.

“Go have fun with your boy toy!” Roman sing-songed at him. Virgil snorted at the remark. Logan heard it loud and clear and chose to ignore it. He couldn’t help the blush that appeared on his cheeks.

He didn’t even make notice of it until Patton pointed it out.

“I should have remembered they worked here,” he muttered as he sat down. “They are colossally annoying.” 

Patton had to resist a laugh. He grabbed his drink, looking at Logan. He had heard what Roman said as well, but he decided against bringing it up, thinking Logan wouldn’t have been affected by it. The blush on his face said otherwise.

“I’m sure they are. And by the way, you’re looking a little red there, Lo,” Patton answered before sipping his drink.

“What?” Logan asked, startled by the remark. He instantly felt his face, noticing how warm it was. Out of embarrassment, he buried his face in his arms on the table. A couple snickers came from Patton while Roman and Virgil cackled at him from a distance. 

This was definitely not what he wanted to deal with right now. 

Patton let out a couple giggles before speaking again. “You don’t have to hide from me, Logan.” 

“I’m not hiding.” 

“Yeah, and I’m not stressed out at all over the final that could make or break my grade. Well, actually, not so much right now. Guess this is working.” 

Logan turned his head up the slightest bit to look at Patton staring right back at him. “Are you saying that just to make me feel better?” 

“Not at all. Now sit up.” 

“Are they looking over here?” 

Patton turned his head to look at Roman and Virgil. The two had been staring at them the whole time. When they both made eye contact with Patton, they immediately looked away, acting busy. Patton had to resist chuckling as he looked back at Logan. “Not anymore.” 

Logan reluctantly sat up, but avoided making eye contact with Patton. He stared at his drink, stirring it with his straw as a distraction. He couldn’t tell if his face was still red or not, but he didn’t really care now. “I...apologize for their stupidity,” he mumbled after a while. 

“No need to apologize. I found it entertaining,” Patton replied, sipping his drink. “I do have to ask you this, though. Is there a reason behind what Roman said that I don’t know of?” 

Logan stopped messing with his straw when Patton said that. He looked up at him for a brief second before looking back down again. “Yes, but...it would take a while to, um, explain it. We do need to get back to studying at some point, so I shouldn’t waste our time talking about it.” 

Patton laughed a little bit at that. “Logan.” He got the other to look at him in the eye. “What if I told you that telling me would help relieve the studying stress? Is that convincing enough?” 

“But, Patton, it really isn’t that important-” 

“It is to me. Talking to you is far from a waste of time, Logan. I really wanna know.” 

That, combined with the look on Patton’s face, was enough to finally convince him. 

“Alright then. I’ll tell you.” 

The smile that appeared on Patton’s face as a result had somehow relieved all of the stress he felt in that moment. In fact, he felt more excited in that moment more than anything and quickly got to explaining. 

When they were done talking, they had long forgotten about studying and the horrors from it that happened earlier in the day. When they had returned to their work much later, Patton found the solution to that dumb problem with ease. 

Logan’s idea had worked, alright. In the best way possible.

#the logince rebel writes #thomas sanders #sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #logicality #roman sanders #virgil sanders

[soncfseed]

reposted from my old blog

i want to post some links so people can better understand what bpd is and what a personality disorder is and is not. then, i’ll do a quick rundown of the 9 bpd symptoms and which ones ethan has/displays and how they manifest for him.

here is a quick ref of some common misconceptions about the disorder. tldr version: a lot of people think bpd isnt real, or that people with bpd are just crazy assholes but its a legitimate mental health problem that has multiple factors including ones that seem to be genetic and environmental.

a personality disorder is defined by the mayo clinic as: “a type of mental disorder in which you have a rigid and unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning and behaving. A person with a personality disorder has trouble perceiving and relating to situations and people. This causes significant problems and limitations in relationships, social activities, work and school. In some cases, you may not realize that you have a personality disorder because your way of thinking and behaving seems natural to you.” basically, its not that a person has a bad personality in terms of poor character or is intentionally acting in a way that may seem irrational or explosive, but rather that the person has functional differences in how their brain reacts to things. personality is defined as:  “the combination of thoughts, emotions and behaviors that makes you unique. It’s the way you view, understand and relate to the outside world, as well as how you see yourself.” it isn’t just behaviour nor is it something people consciously control 100% of the time. borderline personality disorder has been linked to physical differences in the brain and its functioning, particularly of neurotransmitters and brain chemicals similar to mood disorders like depression. it is a type of neurodivergence, not a skewed moral compass, a choice, or something that people with bpd typically enjoy. the symptoms are very stress inducing and cause a lot of turmoil for the affected person, and when poor coping skills have been ingrained and then create further stress or complications in the person’s life, particularly in interpersonal relationships.

ok now we’re gonna hit the 9 symptoms and 4 domains of bpd and how ethan fits into it. the dsm-5 requires 5 symptoms out of 9 for a person to be diagnosed with bpd. ethan displays, in my opinion, 8/9 symptoms and would be a candidate for diagnosis in my experience.

domain a - emotional regulation 1) “Affective (emotional) instability including intense, episodic emotional anguish, irritability, and anxiety/panic attacks” ✅ generally, this is episodes of intense sadness, anger, irritability, insecurity and self doubt for ethan. he doesnt usually have anxiety or panic attacks, but he has had a few in extremely stressful situations. his symptoms of an anxiety attack tend to lean more towards irritability and emotional outbursts.

2) “Anger that is inappropriate, intense and difficult to control”  ✅ while ethan does become rightfully frustrated when the captain returns the book, the fact that he has what seems like a minute long complete meltdown including hitting/smashing objects, that would be a good example of the kind of situationally inappropriate anger and displays of temper ethan has. his anger spikes rapidly and it makes it hard to control his actions at times.

3) “Chronic feelings of emptiness”  ✅ while we don’t necessarily see this explicitly in game, i’d argue that’s part of his experience of bpd. he often feels a lack of purpose, a lack of self, and substitutes that with his role as the leader of new eden.

theres additional symptoms described as such: “In addition, if you suffer from borderline disorder, you may also experience emotional hyper-reactivity (“emotional storms”),  or emotional responses that are occasionally under- reactive, and frequent episodes of loneliness, and boredom. “ ethan definitely experiences emotional storms, and episodes of loneliness particularly. thats amplified by the fact that hes not particularly close to anyone in new eden besides maybe the judge. between a lack of substantial interpersonal ties with his community and his disorder, his episodes of loneliness are often very intense and distressing.

domain b - harmful impulsive behaviors 4)  “Self-damaging acts such as excessive spending, unsafe and inappropriate sexual conduct, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating”  ✅ ethan deals with this to an extent, but not these specific self damaging behaviours. for ethan, its usually not eating or not sleeping for periods of time, or going on particularly dangerous missions to find the book. hunting also serves as an adrenaline rush, but because it sustains new eden its less impulsive than it is an acceptable way of spending a day

5) “Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-injurious behavior such as cutting or hitting yourself.”  ❌ ethan has suicidal ideations, but doesn’t have a history of engaging in self harm or suicide attempts.  

though not an explicit symptom, dangerous impulsivity that affects the self or others is a common symptom, and one ethan does deal with. his decision to turn new eden over to the highwaymen was in part spurred by his impulsive thinking and behaviour.

domain c - perceptions of self and others 6) “A markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of yourself (your perceptions of yourself, your identity)”  ✅ ethan definitely experiences shifts in this realm. this is part of why he ties himself so strongly to his identity as the leader of new eden in light of his poor relationship with his father (which will come up again). when that is threatened, it sends him spiraling because of his unstable self image. this applies to ethan’s image of himself as a person morally, his worth relative to others, and even how he feels about his body and appearance.

7) “Suspiciousness of others thoughts about you, and even paranoid ideation, or transient and stress related dissociative episodes during which you feel that you or your surroundings appear unreal.”  ✅ ethan is absolutely suspicious of others and it goes beyond his learned suspicion of outsiders that all of new eden seems to have. he is particularly suspicious of his father, and of people within his own community. some of this is completely rational, but it often extends beyond that. he experiences, in my hc, dissociative episodes and bouts of depersonalization where parts of his body don’t feel real or don’t feel attached to him/belonging to him.

“Other symptoms in this Domain include split- or “all-or-nothing” thinking, difficulty “pulling” your thoughts together so they make sense, and rational problem solving, especially in social conflicts.” ethan deals with all of these issues generally speaking. this is in part why his decision to burn down new eden was so extreme; he has difficulty at times with regulating what is rational and what is not (and making nuanced decisions), particularly when under extreme emotional duress like during an explosive emotional episode or mood swing.

domain d - unstable relationships 8)  “You may engage in frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.”✅ this is part of why he looked so hard for the book, why he pushes himself so hard to be the leader of new eden and why he turns on them so aggressively at the end. sometimes this can manifest as lashing out, a way to “get them before they get me” mentality. he has particularly strong responses to feeling abandoned or ignored.

9) “Your relationships may be very intense, unstable, & alternate between the extremes of overidealizing and undervaluing people who are important to you.” ✅ this is definitely something ethan struggles with, especially with his father. this is also why he was willing to let new eden burn and its people suffer with it. he had swung too far back from feeling rejected that went completely into “new eden bad”, undervaluing everyone there to the point that he was able to rationalize destroying the place at the expense of the people who lived there.

none of this is meant to excuse his poor decision making, but in the context of my hc for him, it explains why he can act so irrationally at times, and so extremely. in reality, people with bpd are more likely to hurt themselves through self harm, suicide attempts, impuslive behavior, and self destructive behavior. ethan seed is 1) not a real person and 2) living under some very intense and unusual circumstances with probably the WORST person to parent someone with bpd, joseph “i talk to god and he says your soul is tainted” seed. he also doesn’t know he has a disorder and doesn’t have the knowledge or resources to get mental health treatment for his disorder. as it stands, however, he’s made some pretty bad and pretty horrible decisions, and at times can be a bad person. this doesn’t mean, however, that he is 100% bad or always awful, or that bpd is the sole cause of his behaviours. it isnt. lots of people (including myself) have bpd and we haven’t been directly or indirectly responsible for the deaths of anyone; we’ve never burned down our hometowns or tried to get our fathers killed. ethan’s display of bpd is more of a tool to explain and contextualize his behavior and character rather than to condemn him, condone him, or excuse his actions.

tldr ethan has bpd and so do i thanks 4 listening to my ted talk

#hc #long post #repost from old blog

[longitud-de-onda]

hello! could you please do some headcannons with javi and a plus sized reader? Like she has a bit of a crush on him, but she’s obviously not his normal ‘type’ so she doesn’t expect anything in return, but somehow he notices her and something about her interests him and he ends up falling for her?? idk about the ‘falling’ part bc he’s javi and he doesnt do emotion😂 but i mean he can be soft sometimes🥺

okay so very cute idea, however i really can’t bring myself to write a plus-sized reader based on my relationship with bodies/mental health/weight and such, so i’m going to have to drop this hc prompt. writing plus sized means often writing about weight, and i struggle with that because i struggle with my own issues around weight.  

i’m going to take a bit of time to explain how i feel about writing diversity in readers, because it’s an important thing sometimes overlooked.

writing self-inserts is difficult at times because there are so many different types of readers and often, appearances come very much into play with what i might want to write. there’s a lot of stuff that comes naturally to me that i know wouldn’t make sense for readers of color (like some cheeks turning red when you’re embarassed...) and i have been recently working hard to neutralize the appearance of readers in my writing. i don’t include color info for eyes/hair/skin and i try to avoid any sort of actions that wouldn’t make sense if a reader looked one way or another (i’m trying to limit fingers running through hair because as soon as curly hair reaches a certain curliness, that’s not really comfy). hell, i even struggle putting food information, like i wrote the reader eating yogurt and was like “what if this is turning off the lactose intolerant readers????” another big one is body types/sizes, and i do try to avoid writing any information on size which can be especially difficult when writing smut. 

but when i read over things, know that all of this is running through my mind, especially as an author who was once very overweight and struggled reading self-inserts where it was all about ‘thin frames’ and ‘long, skinny legs.’

when it comes to race, i am aware that as a white author, and writing often in historical settings (narcos is all 80s and 90s), the things i write are often specific to white readers and there are certain privileges they experience that may be alienating to non-white, non-able bodied people. as an example, writing a reader of color into un veneno is hard because being a solo female backpacker in the 80s (and even now) was dangerous, and even more so if you weren’t white. 

when i’m writing i’m crafting something that i hope is appealing to as wide an audience as possible without being too generalized and devoid of personality. that being said, i do want to make sure people feel represented, and i do so when i feel that i can represent people in a respectful and researched way, and in a way that doesn’t possibly damage my mental health as i write.

writing plus-size readers, or if someone requested a skinny reader (never seen that before, but who knows) or anyone with an eating disorder, is something i can’t do without the writing process becoming dangerous for me. writing a reader of an explicit race that isn’t white is something i don’t believe i can do correctly, as i feel it takes away the voices of people of color. instead, i try to remove most information that would clue someone in to the weight/size/color of the reader.

i’m wary of writing just about any kind of specific reader types (except maybe tall/short, curly hair???, depressed, anxiety, etc... basically anything i have experienced and can voice respectfully and thoughtfully), because there is a certain amount of research involved in writing someone who has different life experience from you. that’s not to say it can’t be done, because writing is often about writing people who have difference life experience, but the challenge is doing so the right way, and for me that’s a difficult thing that i wrestle with often. i will continue to try to promote diversity in my writing, and i will probably fail at times, and i’m welcoming anyone to come pop into my ask box and tell me if i’m failing them. 

if someone feels alienated from my work because of something, please tell me what it is because i will work hard to remove the language that pushes people away and i want to improve in this aspect.

...okay so exactly the opposite of what you wanted and that was a lot longer than i expected to write about this topic, but i have a lot of feelings when it comes to writing so there’s a lot more where that came from and i hope it’s coherent enough, and provides an explanation enough for why i can’t do this request. 

#anonymous #ask camila

[tomiyeee]

finished the story quests for bl3 (but barely any of the side missions yet) and i got...Opinions(tm)

(sorry if this doesn’t cut on mobile! also if you want to hide spoilers i’m tagging all my bl3 posts as “bl3 spoilers” so ny’all can blacklist it)

in no particular order:

i honestly wanted to give gearbox some slack and try my best to like this game bc i know people had probably unfairly high expectations for this game given all the build up, but they really just kept letting me down in everything but the graphics

said this before but overall, the characters are all Quite lackluster

^^ tyreen and troy included. adding the word "bitch" to every sentence does not automatically make it funnier

that being said, i super love their backstory + relationship with typhon/nekofeyo-whatever

the character designs are equally boring. moxxi was the only one who got a real improvement imo. lilith and maya are okay. rhys...i dont think i have to explain. lia...i dislike her hair; the black felt like it balanced out her design better and the white streak was interesting and cool but full white just looks bad tbh. zer0 feels less sleek and more bulky which doesnt fit him much. tina lost her pretty color palette and cute outfit. where are all the bright pretty color palettes in general???? there are other colors besides brown and black???? use them?????

ending of pre-sequel: “you will need all the vault hunters you can get” me: “ooh does that mean all the vh’s from previous games are back? i can’t wait to see everyone meet each other! :D” bl3: only nine of them come back, 3 of them die, the rest are involved in maybe one mission at most

boss fights. super. boring. and tedious. i mean this could be partly because i was playing on ps4 which made it extra not fun but if the only reason the fight is difficult is because they have a lot of health...it's not fun or challenging. i want fights like handsome jack with interesting mechanics. i want fights like angel with emotional impact. i want fights like the pre-sequel final boss that i forgot the name of with variation that isnt just "now they have an attack that shines bright lights in ur eyes, covers the whole arena, and can knock you down in one hit im looking at you traunt and killavolt". tyreens fight was the only one that i somewhat enjoyed because of this. all the others were just like "ughhhh again?"

im really enjoying melee amara playstyle. taking out badass enemies in four hits is my jam. this is just my fallout 4 playthrough all over again babey heck yea

typhon just wanted to be a good dad!!! he called tyreen starlight which is adorable!!! he did the best he could and tyreen hated him for it!!! i don’t blame either of them for that tbh, it makes sense from both their perspectives. tyreen definitely should have been more understanding, but she’s a dick so :/ (not saying this is a writing flaw, just a character flaw)

hammerlock needs higher standards in men but i really appreciate the undeniably in-your-face "fuck you" to all gamer dudes

i really. hate. how little the player character seems to matter in the story. in pre-sequel the vh's all had unique dialogue AND npcs would respond, sometimes even with character-specific lines. even when it was the same across vh's, it still felt like the npcs were interacting and speaking directly to them. the player character felt like a character of their own, rather than just a vessel for the player to do quests and kill enemies with or an errand runner for the important characters. i thought that was the direction they were going in with bl3 too but this just feels like bl2 only worse. there’s a separation again between you and the story and it feels like you’re just watching things happen. now ur not just a silent protagonist, but instead your a speaking protagonist who gets completely ignored. whats the point of including unique dialogue if it's not even acknowledged beyond an "uh-huh, moving on"?

sometimes the logic just feels kinda dumb. the twins killed/disabled maya and lilith in a heartbeat, they can literally disintegrate the most powerful beings in the universe, but the vault hunters? absolutely not. they must fight them for 40 minutes and then die.

after the fight with troy, no one even touched tyreen. there's no way they could have thought "yup she's definitely dead, no need to shoot her in the head or anything just to make sure. we didn't do anything to even hurt her, we just assumed." turns out she's 100% alive and gets up to start the apocalypse. who'da thunk! i know they wanted the end to seem more dramatic but it just seems stupid that they could have stopped tyreen like 5 missions earlier had they even the slightest bit of common sense.

lilith was one of the biggest threats to tyreen and troy's whole plan. of course they should leave her alive and simply steal her powers. let's kill the monk siren instead.

i know they didn't include this to give all players a fair experience instead of favoring sirens, but it kinda sucks playing a siren character and it's just completely ignored outside of ur action skill. tyreen and troy are sapping siren powers left and right, but they choose to leave you with yours. when you enter the eridian place with typhon tannis starts glowing because it has "something to do with sirens". what about the one standing right next to her? this applies to bl2 as well...jack i would willingly charge ur vault key for u pls why do u take lilith instead :'(

oh yeah speaking of tannis! i LOVE that she got angels powers. for some reason it just makes me really happy. maybe it's bc i think it's sweet that part of angel survived. maybe it's because it makes for cool fanart. maybe it's just cool. idk. also like that we got a solid explanation of what angel's powers were (influence over technology). i always thought her having control over it in bl2 might've been cuz it was hyperion tech and she had access to it same as she had access to the satellite from bl1. it wasn't super clear since it seemed like she could also materialize things like the ammo during her fight.

that also reminds me: all the dramatic reveals in this game felt kinda badly done.

the very first one with zer0/katagawa. like the whole time i was walking around looking for him i was trying to think why he might've turned/something must have happened to him or rhys. everyone was saying it was undeniably zer0. i finally meet him and take one look at his bright ass maliwan armor and its like. really. you couldnt have made it anymore obvious that thats not zer0. and then his helmet gets knocked off and surprise! it's not him. i totally didnt already figure that out with one glance 10 seconds ago. (maybe even earlier when you got glimpses of him around the building but i always missed it cuz i was looking at the fish tanks n shit)

also the tannis reveal. she was speaking to me in the same way that only known siren characters could. weird unexplained things were happening and seemed to be related to tannis. i wonder if she's a siren? surprise! she's a siren.

tyreen and troy knew about the great vault through some unknown means. typhon was talking about having a son and a daughter who he told stories about the great vault. typhon calls tyreen his daughter a while later and lilith acts surprised like honey ur a little slow, i figured that out several lines ago.

basically i'm not saying they were so obvious that i knew from the beginning of the game; i only figured them out a little before they were outright stated. but it was enough that it kinda ruined the effect and the characters acting surprised only when it was blatantly spelled out for them just made it annoying.

i feel like most of this is pretty negative, but i don’t mean that i hate the game and was miserable playing it. it was honestly okay...like i said i wanted to like it, but gearbox hates me specifically and killed/ruined all my faves just to spite me sooo...*waves hand back and forth in a sort of “ehhh” gesture*. i think my opinion on bl games from most to least fav would be: tftbl, bltps, bl2, bl3, and bl1. so it’s not the worst, but deeefinitely not one of my faves. i mean jack’s not in it (or if he is he doesn’t have a big role) so it’s already at a huge disadvantage. the ending was ok, it was all dramatic n stuff and it kinda makes sense i guess, but it was just about as okay as the rest of the game really. i don’t hate it but it’s not great either yknow?

#equishit #bl3 spoilers

[deaf-bakugou]

Hello! I have an au(for Sanders Sides) where one of the characters is deaf. Would it be all right if I ask you a couple of questions to help ensure I'm not completely messing up how I write him? Of course, you don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable or anything. I guess my first question would be how much can you hear with your hearing aids? And without? Do you're hearing aids ever feel uncomfortable or make certain sounds unbearable? I'll probably be back with more if its all right

Hey! Hey! Please feel free to ask me all of the questions you want! You can direct message me and it will be easier for us to properly discuss things like that. So imma be honest with you hearing loss is vastly different for every person and no one 'hears' exactly the same! With me hearing aids out... well I am not very reliable! My left ear is far worse than my right ear. On my left side I can't hear much at all. Loud noises! Crashes and bangs and sirens. All of this depends on distance and environment though. Example. Every single dish in my cabinet that was glass fell out and shattered on the ground while I was standing in the living room. I HEARD IT. Tornado siren is going off outside and I am sitting inside reading a book. I did not hear it. My right ear is a little bit better! On that side even with my hearing aids out I can hear human speech! So a lot more noise range. But it doesnt make sense. And again it depends on the environment! But if you yell into my right ear then I can make out words depending. Again, on environment and the person. The ability to understand something depends on SO many factors. Environment, accent, and every thing in between. With my hearing aids in, well I can actually mostly pass as a hearing person. In one on one conversations I do decently well with a few mistakes a conversation but normally pretty easy to figure out "why do you want to go to canada" "no Krys we need to buy banana's." But if that person had an accent? (Basically anything I am not used to lip reading, so I am from deep south Texas yall.) So any other type of pattern of speech can be difficult. Spanish accents are the most common around here but any accent takes my understanding level way way down and I always feel so bad because sometimes if my server is from like somewhere in Africa and I can't understand her and ask her to repeat herself a lot she thinks I am bring racist and then it's a whole apology and trying to explain that I can't hear well and it can be quite a mess... another thing that can defeat me is facial hair! Anything that blocks the lips. Lots of Deaf people rely on a mixture of residual hearing and lip reading to understand spoken words. I am no different! So facial hair can just take me the fuck out. It is not that I don't want to understand there is just no longer the ability for me to gather the information I need in order to be able to put together the puzzle that is spoken speech! I am sure you can guess, but this is exhausting. And frustrating.

Do my HEARING AIDS EVER GET UNCOMFORTABLE??? YOU BET YOUR ROOTIN TOOTIN BOOTY THEY SURE FUCKING DO! God they itch something terrible, sometimes. They can cause frequent ear infection because your ears are not draining like they naturally do. Ear wax build up is a thing too! And that is not even talking about the weight of them. Most of the time it is fine. You get used to it. But sometimes rye weight just hurts. Sometimes, I will just like, pop them out and let them hang by the tubing I will post a picture to help you understand what I mean. It wont let me add right now but I will post it and tag you. And like I see Deaf people do that shit all the time. I actually learned to do it from my Mentor at a disability Advocates center I worked out before Trump cut the funding for Disabled individuals to have Advocates and I lost my fucking job. So fuck Trump. And we have not even started to cover auditory overstimulation and other things that cause pain.

Noises that annoy me???? Lol sometimes literally everything. From just casual talking to alarm tones. But this is kind of a trick question. When I am auditory overstimulated any noise can literally make me cry or cause me to develop severe pulsing headaches or migraines. Time to take them the fuck out for a goddamn break. But on the everyday normal side? That is going to depend on the person. I don't like noises that consistently cause feedback. Girls who talk in that high pitched "oh my god!" Rich girl valley girl type of speak quickly can cause me to end up overstimulated. Beeping noises for a period of time. I like to think that I am only annoyed by things that would annoy other people. But I shouted at my spouse for like rubbing a styrofoam cup the other day so idk. It was just a really grating noise and I was struggling. (I still shouldn't have shouted. I apologized. We talked about what was going wrong.) But yeah. I will post that pic and feel free to send me a personal message. I would love to help up and I don't mind reading scenes with your Deaf character to help make sure it is realistic and fits with the reality of being Deaf.

#Deaf-Bakugou #deaf bakugou #deafness #hearing aids #personal?

[engekihaikyuu]

Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu – The Tokyo Battle

Entertainment Station Interview Translation with Nagata Takato and Kondou Shouri

Full interview translation and more photos under the Read More! Please do not repost my translations or scans.

=====

Nagata-san and Kondou-san, it’s been about year since we’ve seen you appear in this series since “Start of the Giant.”

Takato: One year huh... Ever since we first appeared back in December of 2016 with “Karasuno, Revival!” we’ve done an Engeki Haikyuu every six months afterward, and at that pace I sort of worried if I might get a little tired of it, but I’ve been able to add to my experience with other plays in the past year, and now I really want to bring “The Tokyo Battle” to life.  

Shouri: Karasuno High won’t be appearing in “The Tokyo Battle,” but together with everyone in Fukurodani and Nohebi, we’re going to get everyone even more excited about the amazing production that is Engeki Haikyuu!

When you’re doing photoshoots for the play visuals, do you get back the feeling of Kuroo instantly once you put on the hair and the makeup and the uniform?

Shouri: In one sense, but even more because we move around a lot during those shoots, and when I start to feel sore after we’re done, then I feel like, “Ah, this is Haikyuu!” (laughs)

Takato: Once rehearsals start, you basically live with a little bit of muscle soreness all the time.  Every single time we do this, the day after the first day of rehearsals, I’m sore all over and it’s hard to even walk.

Shouri: I move around a lot in other shows too, and I go to the gym regularly, but even so Engeki Haikyuu rehearsals are seriously tough! The stage is slanted, and just from that alone you end up using muscles you don’t normally use just to brace yourself on certain parts of the stage.  

Takato: That’s how we train our “Haikyuu muscles.” (laughs)

Speaking of those “Haikyuu muscles,” which specific muscles would those be?

Shouri: Mostly your lower half.  Your thighs and calves get especially rock-hard.  The road back to rehearsals is a lot of, “Yeah yeah, that! That pain,” but that is part of the Engeki Haikyuu experience, and I’m going to enjoy it all over.  

This time we’ll see Fukurodani Academy and Nohebi Academy as they compete for a spot for the Spring High national tournament.  What are your impressions of your opponents?  

Takato: When it comes to Fukurodani’s Bokuto Koutarou and Akaashi Keiji, this will actually be our third time appearing together with them, but this will be Nohebi Academy’s first appearance... so I wonder?  But you can tell just by looking at the school names that our secondary theme is “Battle of the Animals,” and the thing to look for will be to see how the fight will go when it’s cats versus owls or when it’s cats versus snakes.  

As a fan, I’m very much looking forward to see how Engeki will portray the various highlight scenes from the manga.  Do you personally have any parts where you think, “It’d be great if we could have that scene from the manga,” or “I’d love to make this my highlight scene?”  

Shouri: For me, it’s the combination plays between Kuroo Tetsurou and Kozume Kenma.  When I read the manga, I immediately thought, “That was amazing!” for certain parts and I definitely want to recreate some of those on-stage.  

Takato: In the manga, this is the part where we get a lot of great expressions from Kenma.  For example, after Haiba Lev joins in, the usually poker-faced Kenma starts to make a lot of snide comments. (laughs)  But that side of Kenma is cute too, and I always want to play him while keeping that in mind.  And then of course, Nekoma will be the main school this time, so we’ll be situated right in the center of everything, so our level of responsibility has changed. We’re going to lead the company with confidence and make a magnificent play.  

Shouri: For Nekoma, I’m looking forward to seeing the first-years develop.  I’m looking forward to Ishikura Noah’s Haiba Lev and Kimura Fuuta’s Shibayama Yuuki, and the new female cast members!

Since this will be an episode without Karasuno who have been the main characters thus far, and adding in the new cast members as well, this production as a whole is going to have a different atmosphere and color and style, isn’t it?

Takato: If we don’t change to something new and good, then everything we’ve built up so far will go to waste.  I think it’s going to be extremely difficult, but we’re continuing the will of the Engeki Haikyuu that we’ve built up together with Suga Kenta and everyone else in the first generation of Karasuno who led the way, and from now on, we have to be the ones to lead the way... I firmly believe that.

Shouri: Let’s help each other!  We’ll help each other, support each other, boost each other... because that’s our specialty on Nekoma.  

Takato: Yeah.  I can say with confidence that we won’t lose to any other school when it comes to our teamwork.  We’ll display that great teamwork of ours front and center, and hope to create a new Engeki Haikyuu with everyone in the cast. 

And now I’d like to look back on previous tours.  I’d like to ask you about your memories of the Karasuno cast who graduated at the end of last year.

Takato:  We spent about two years with them starting with “Karasuno, Revival!” and in a certain sense, we have an inseparable relationship.  Even if we’re a different school, we’ve been Karasuno members ourselves in some ways...

Shouri:  It does feel like even the Karasuno cast think of us as part of them.  “Karasuno and then some.”  During the Miyagi portion of the “Start of the Giant” tour, me and Takato, Kenta-kun, Kosaka Ryoutarou, and Arita Kenji were talking, and then suddenly everyone from Karasuno had gathered together, and someone said something along the lines of, “This will be the last Engeki Haikyuu with these guys, and that’s sad,” and I just involuntarily started crying.  

Takato: We had a closing party of sorts in the middle of the tour, and when I hugged Kenta-kun, I just wailed.  

Shouri: At first I thought, “Come on, we haven’t even finished all our shows yet,” but then suddenly it was me and Takato and Kenta-kun all hugging and wailing together. (strained laugh)  Seeing us like that, everyone laughed and said, “You guys, we’re not even done yet, why are you crying?!” but we were really sad about Karasuno’s graduation.  

Takato: But it doesn’t mean that our relationship ends just because they graduated, and I definitely want to act together with them in some other production.  Probably they’ll come hang out during rehearsals of “The Tokyo Battle”?

Shouri: Kenta-kun said, “I’m going to keep watching over Engeki Haikyuu from the audience, and I’m going to stay over in the dressing rooms too!” (laughs)

Takato: In exchange for us just turning over a dressing room for Kenta-kun’s use, he can treat us to bentos!

Shouri: Let’s LINE him and say, “Treat us to some bentos ♡”.  (laughs)

As rehearsals formally begin for “The Tokyo Battle,” is there anything you’re especially looking forward to?

Shouri: There’s a lot I’m looking forward to, but the most important thing is that we stay careful and focused so that we don’t get injured!  I really think we have to be careful about injuries, and in the worst case that someone does get injured, that the damage will be minimal.  So I’ve been thinking that I need to do some training on my own starting now.  

Obviously this is true of cast injuries, but when I heard that even the director Worry Kinoshita-san isn’t free from injury, I was surprised. (laughs)

Takato: Ah, that makes it seem like it’s our fault but it’s not! (laughs)  Worry-san will watch us at rehearsals and then on his own just go, “No, not like that! That part’s more... -jerks his ankle- Owww!” and then he twisted his ankle, but we didn’t do anything.  

Shouri: Worry-san gets the most excited when he’s with our group.  When the music gets going, he’ll dance his “Worry☆Dance,” and then when he gets too excited from that, he ends up hurting himself. (strained laugh)

Engeki Haikyuu obviously has dancing, lifts, and acrobatics, and I’m always surprised with the various ways in which you use your bodies to express everything.

Takato: It’s the appeal of Engeki Haikyuu: it surpasses the general concept of a stage play and greedily takes in and incorporates all sorts of challenging things.  We attack our limits and then the breadth of what we can show gets steadily more expansive. It’s fun for us, and I think it’s really cool.  

Be honest, have you ever once had a moment where you said, “This is impossible!”

Takato: Even if I think it’s impossible, when I try it out I can be surprisingly capable.  In “Start of the Giant,” there’s a part where Shouri and I do a one-handed backflip followed immediately by a dolphin and then from there we do a scorpion to get up... Trying to explain it is... It’s easier to understand if you just watch the DVD (strained laugh), but even that seemingly impossible sequence of techniques is doable once you try it.  In “Summer of Evolution,” when Shouri and I were using pro-wrestling moves like Luchadors, I got that down in one blow.  

That was when you wrapped your legs around his neck and then flipped around, right?

Takato: Yes, exactly.  That’s a contact move, so it’s really important to have a lot of trust in each other.

Shouri: If we don’t match our timing, he’d go flying so it’s a pretty scary technique, but we just went, “Something like this?” and tried it, and we did it.  

Takato: At Engeki Haikyuu, we have brainstorming sessions and there people suggest things going, “I want to try this kind of thing,” and then we decide what we’ll use.  During “Start of the Giant,” I wanted to throw in hints to a line from the manga about “a controlled fist-fight” and suggested, “For the Nekoma and Fukurodani match scenes, what if we have us appear on-stage in those hooded robes like boxers wear and make it look like a boxing match?” and people went, “That’s great!” and we went with that.  

Shouri: And this time I think we’ll be using a lot of moves that mimic animals according to our school names, so please look forward to how that’ll look.  

“The Tokyo Battle” opens on April 5th starting in Osaka, then moving to Miyagi, then Tokyo for a one-month long tour. Please give us a message to everyone who’s looking forward to seeing this play.

Takato: We are carrying on the torch for Engeki Haikyuu, and from here on I think a brand new Engeki Haikyuu will begin.  We will meet the expectations of everyone who’s loved Engeki Haikyuu until now, and to people who haven’t yet seen Engeki Haikyuu, we’ll show them the Engeki Haikyuu charm.  To that end, everyone on the cast will give their all together, so please come see us!  

Shouri: This is a production that children and adults, men and women can enjoy without question, so if you’re on the fence going, “Should I go see it? Hmm, what should I do?” I want you to take this chance and definitely come see us.  We’ll definitely make you have a good time, and put on a production that’ll work up your spirits!  We’ll be waiting for you at the theater!!  

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Translated by @nimbus-cloud Please do not repost my translations

If you appreciate the work I do for this blog and want to support my translation efforts, please consider donating a ko-fi!  (x)

The original interview can be read online here: (x)

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Bonus: Kenta quote-RTing their interview

Kenta (x) The crybaby duo.

#nagata takato #kondou shouri #engeki haikyuu #hyper projection engeki haikyuu #The Tokyo Battle #haisute #translation #interview translation #interview #entertainment station #please understand that this interview fucking killed me from start to finish #please please read it it's a blast #and a tearjerker #and also eye opening #and also the banner photo they decided to use just went STRAIGHT TO MY HEART #LIKE A STAB OF CUTE

[missmentelle]

Hello. I am concerned about a friend who is in a relationship that doesnt seem to be very healthy. He belittles her in front her friends, forces her to perform sexual acts, and takes advantage of her financial situation while basically providing nothing in return (he immigrated to where she lived and doesn't help pay rent). He cheated also cheated. Her friends have tried talking to her about this multiple times, but she doesn't accept any advice and rather is pushing all her friends out of *1*

her life. I dont think she had the best upbringing or parent child relationship and she probably thinks that this is all she deserves, despite the fact that she is a strong, opinionated, successful person. I know she has to want to leave the relationship herself and that it is not our place to tell her to do that. But in the meantime I am afraid she is fucking up her self esteem and losing all her friends. What can i do, if anything?

Trying to get a friend out of an obviously abusive relationship is one of the most difficult and frustrating situations you’ll ever go through with somebody. I have been on both ends of this situation - both as the supportive friend, and as the battered woman who is refusing to leave - and I know firsthand how tough it can be to navigate something like this. It is true that you cannot force anyone to do anything; the person in the relationship has to want to leave, and it can take a very long time for someone to come to that realization. There are, however, things that you can do to help. In general, if you have a friend who is in an apparently abusive relationship and you would like to help them escape, the best thing you can do is:

Emphasize that you will always be there for your friend and that they can always turn to you, no matter how distant they become. Abusers often intentionally go out of their way to isolate their victims from their friends and family for long periods of time; by the time someone is ready to leave an abusive relationship, they may have had minimal contact with their loved ones for weeks, months or even years. It can be extremely embarrassing to admit why you’ve been shutting people out of your life, and rebuilding relationships requires emotional energy that many abuse victims simply do not have - but without the emotional or material support of loved ones, it may be impossible to escape. The best way to combat this is to anticipate it. Make it clear to your friend, on many occasions, that your friendship is unconditional and available whenever they need it.  Make sure they know for an absolute fact that you will still be there for them, no questions asked, if they disappear from your life for months at a time and pop up again out of the blue in the middle of the night. 

Avoid insulting their partner. When you’re trying to help someone realize that they’re in an abusive relationship, the most obvious course of action is to point out what a piece of garbage their partner is, and pile on this person with criticisms and insults. This is a mistake. For most people, their choice of partner is closely tied to their personal identity. When you tell someone “your partner is abusive garbage”, what they hear is “you are the sort of person who dates abusive garbage” - and for most people, the best way to escape from that is to start defending their partner. The more you point out flaws in someone’s partner, the more that person will defend their partner - and the more time somebody spends defending their partner, the more psychologically invested they become in the relationship. Avoid talking about the partner at all, whenever possible. Instead, concentrate on pointing out your friend’s worth, and describe the kind of relationship that she deserves. Tell her all the ways that she is amazing, and let her know that she is worthy of a relationship with someone who does X, Y and Z for her. Let her be the one to figure out that her current relationship doesn’t measure up. 

Focus on specific behaviours, and avoid using the word “abuse” whenever possible. For many people in abusive relationships, hearing words like “abuse”, “abuser” or “abusive” immediately shuts down a conversation and sends them straight into denial mode. Most people have very entrenched - and extreme - ideas about what abusive relationships look like, and they may immediately shut the conversation down because their situation doesn’t match the stereotypes they’ve absorbed about what abuse looks like. Also, many people do not want to see themselves as “victims”, and they may endure all kinds of objectively abusive behaviours for long periods of time in order to avoid hearing words like “abuse” applied to them. Instead of talking about the a-word, focus on specific behaviours. If he’s belittling her in front of other people, focus on that - ask her if she’s okay, if that happens a lot, and how she feels about it. Try to make her see that individual behaviours are not normal, rather than trying to drive the message home that “you are an abuse victim”. 

Keep conversations about the relationship friendly, casual and light. Overly confrontational or emotional conversations - or worse yet, formal “interventions” - can be way, way too much for someone in an abusive relationship, and it can make them withdraw even further from their relationship with you. Approach the conversations in a light, casual tone, and try to keep things as friendly and non-confrontational as possible. Instead of laying out all your evidence for abuse all at once and demanding that your friend dump their partner, focus on one thing at a time. “Hey, I noticed that your partner did X, that seemed kind of weird. How do you feel about that?” is a much gentler way to start the conversation, and it lets your friend vent about an abusive behaviour without feeling like an abuse “victim”. Deciding to leave an abuser is a gradual process, and you are much more likely to guide your friend there with constant low-key conversations than with one big blowout. 

Present your friend with multiple options for dealing with the relationship. If you respond to all of your friend’s complaints about the relationship with “he’s abusive, dump him”, she will quickly stop confiding in you or turning to you for advice if she is not ready to leave the relationship. Instead, help her brainstorm several possible courses of action, and make it clear that you will support her no matter what she chooses. If she complains to you that she has had a serious fight with her partner, you might present her with the possible options of moving out for a while, going to see a therapist to deal with the fight (an individual therapist - never recommend couples’ therapy for an abusive relationship), breaking up with him, or spending more time with her friends for emotional support. Even if she is not willing to end the relationship, try to guide her toward courses of action that help her build up her confidence and independence. Abusers destroy their victims’ sense of autonomy - telling a victim what to do just reinforces their sense of not having control over their own life. Instead, work on empowering the victim, and validating her ability to make her own choices. 

Helping someone realize that their relationship is unhealthy can be a very long process, and it doesn’t typically happen overnight. It can take months or years of abuse before the person even realizes that their situation is abnormal, and it can take many more months or years for them to actually decide that the situation is not salvageable and that they need to leave. Be patient. These are situations where someone’s health and safety are at risk, and it can be tempting to want to rip them out of the relationship as quickly as possible. But in general, the more the person feels like leaving is their decision, the more likely they are to stay away. It’s better to have someone take 6 months to leave a relationship and stay away for good, than it is to get them out in 1 month, and have them return to the abuser two weeks later. 

If you are interested in resources in your area - or if you want advice on how to have these kinds of conversations with a friend - contact a domestic violence hotline or a program for abused women, and explain your situation. They should be able to provide you with more advice and information that you can use. 

Best of luck to you and your friend. 

[weiqiankun-blog]

beauty you hold.

female reader x mark lee 

pretty frickin soft 

my first piece of writing so i do hope you enjoy reading it 

3k ish

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You'll admit, working at a coffee shop had it's quirks but there were just sometimes when all you wanted to do was go home and just sleep cause after all you were an exhausted college student and lets just say times were...tough sometimes. You've been working at your local coffee shop for awhile now and youve made friends with the other workers keeping in mind that theyre all quite older than you but atleast you have one close friend who works with you, this of course being one of your bestfriend's yuta. When you first met yuta, you kinda thought he was a pushover and a bit too bossy (or atleats thats what you said to him when you were explaining why you didnt approach him when you guys first met but actually it was only cause you were too scared). But ANYWAY, you were first to start working at the coffee shop, its name being 'Euphoria Cafe' and once you saw the help wanted sign through the window you were probably the first to apply cause you loved that place. Need a place to study? Euphoria, Need a place to relax? Euphoria, Need a place to sometimes see a few cute boys from time to time?... Euphoria (hotel?trivago (sorry i just had to)) so yeah. you got the job obviously and it was difficult at first to get used to how to use all the machines and everything but eventually you got the hang of it. And this is when your (not yet) best friend yuta comes waltzing in as the newly hired worker and you were kinda nervous cause yeah sure you're good with making friends but that doesn’t change that fact that you're terrified of embarrassing yourself especially in front of someone you found intimating.

So your first day together was awkward to say the least, there were many glances on both ends and all you guys said to each other were hi's, sorry's, here ya go's, and bye's when you guys left eventually. The next day it was like something snapped inside of you and you were having a really good day and you were just happy for ledgit no reason but when you're in moods like this, you kind of forget how to act around people or not forget but it's just a lot more free? So when you come into work you see yuta just getting in as well, and out of nowhere you just shouted, " hey yuta!!! how's your day been, excited for work?!" and the shock on his face was priceless and he just turned around and said, "oh, hey y/n, its been good and yeah i guess you could say i am", and to be honest you were kinda surprised he knew your name cause you guys literally never talked before yesterday and today was the first actual conversation you guys were having so naturally you asked, " oh woah, you know my name?", " well yeah, you know my name so...", "good point good point". And that was the start of a beautiful friendship, you guys grew really close and pretty fast and what surprised you the most was how jokingly flirtatious he got and it was definitely a joke cause at this point in your friendship you guys have seen TOO MUCH (dont be weird not like that) of each other to catch any feelings. You guys came to work together almost every day with him basically clinging onto you cause he needs affection and you obviously giving him it cause um who could resist. So yeah life was nice other than the crazy amount of work you had to do for college but OTHER THAN THAT just great :(.

Well anyway (yes this is a mark fluff just waittt) after  few months of working there another employee joined and you recognized him almost instantly, he was in almost all of your classes but you guys barely talked, actually you guys only talked when you were forced to (partnered up and stuff). He wasnt in your shift but you always saw him leaving when you and yuta coming in. Eventually, mid-term break came along and yeah you were excited as hell but yuta was leaving to back to his hometown in japan so you would be pretty lonely. But then... you come into work one day not really being aware of your surroundings because you were too absorbed in your music but then when you walk in you see mark behind the counter not looking ready to leave at all so you said, "oh hi mark" (get the reference?) clear confusion coming out with your words and mark acknowledged it so he replied, " hey y/n, oh i asked if i could change my shift time because this works better for me so youll be seeing me for a while haha", " oh okay then i look forward to working with you", you say while nodding your head slightly. so mark right, you always liked him, not like crush sense but you thought he was cool you guess, and theres no denying that he was pretty cute but you never even had the idea of liking him until one day. So you come into work and suprisingly mark's not there he was usually early but you just thought oh he probably had something to do and didnt really care (#sorrynotsorry) but then in comes an extremely disheveled looking mark with messy hair and ripped jeans and a hoodie on and you were concerned to say the least. Thankfully no customers were in the shop yet and mark just runs to the counter panting and you genuinely think someone's been chasing him but he later explains he woke up like 2 minutes before he came to the coffee shop cause his phone ran out of battery hence alarm=nonexistent basically. That day you had a lot of customers and since you guys had to stay the entire day by the end of the day you were exhausted. When it was about an hour to closing mark just went on his break and it was just you in the shop because he just went for a walk which he regularly does for his break, something you noticed. but there werent many customers so you were okay but when you turned around to the register you saw a pink post-it saying: stay back today for a bit?. you already know mark wanted to just relax after work today and you guys had stayed back after work sometimes and you enjoyed it so you smiled and continued with the order for the customer. eventually he came back and you smiled and nodded and he smiled back and that just made you smile harder. so the day was finally over and you went to sit infront of the counter and took off your apron while mark was busy making something that you figured was his but when he was done you realized he had two drinks in his hand one being your favourite, a hot chocolate and one a berry smoothie. He placed the hot chocolate infront of you and you were like huh? and he said, “you drink this practically whenever you have the chance anyone would know it's your favourite". your heart kinda fluttered but you were like gurl dont be dumb staph but that didnt really stop much. you guys moved to the sofa after grabbing a few snacks (this was the main perk of getting the end shift cause you could stay back). You guys were facing each other and the windows were all still open blowing chilling air in and although you loved it you were cold and being the dumb one you are you forgot to bring a jacket so you shivered but you were fine after you closed the windows or so you thought for like two seconds and then you were like yeah no i be cold. "so care to explain why you came in looking like a wreck today" "so are you implying that i look good every other day" " well im not denying it.." you were always quite flirty with everyone unintentionally (sometimes intentionally) but mark kinda got used to it " i just slept really late yesterday and today wasnt the best" "i can tell but hey whats up?" "eh just stuff" "oh also ive been meaning to ask how long are you going to be working this shift?" "oh you want me to stay i see" "please, if anything the opposite" "mhmmm sure" he says with a smug look on his face, "well until your boyfriend comes back" you spat out your drink," my boyfriend?!" confusion was plastered on marks face and he said" yeah the guy you were working with before i came, yuta i think his name was?" you genuinely couldnt stop laughing until you eventually explained that he was just a bestfriend and you noticed a look of relief on his face? but pushed it aside. suddenly mark just got up and went to the back where you heard rummaging. after a few minutes mark came back with a t-shirt on and his hoodie in his hand. He threw over to you "stop shivering and wear this" he says he sat next to you this time causing you heart to basically jump out of your chest he wasnt that close or anything just him being kind. you mumbled a thanks. after a few moments of silence mark asked " so do you have a boyfriend?" "no you?" "nah. hey wanna lock up and just walk" you were actually glad he asked cause you were kinda tired of being in the cafe for this long and you thankfully nodded ---- you guys walked to a nearby park just talking about literally anything that came to your mind at this point you guys were pretty close and both of you guys knew things about each other that a lot of people dont, irrelevant and meaningful, like he knows that you only like the ends of those soda gummies cause apparently then have the most taste, but he argues that it all tastes the same, that doesnt stop him from eating the other end when you dont want it though, and you know that whenever hes stressed the only thing he wants to do is talk to someone he trusts and you were the same that way. as you were walking you werent really focusing on anything cause your heart was kinda all over the place cause youve officially developed a big fat crush on this idiot and you knew he didnt feel the same but then you being so absent minded caused you to trip and almost instantly mark grabbed your hand to stop you from falling over and you just started laughing while mark asked you if you were okay. you guys continued to walk in silence with the howling wind filling the air, although you guys were nothing you couldnt ask for more in this moment. you were reaching for your phone when you realized mark was still holding your hand you just stopped walking and froze staring at your hands clasped together (they werent intertwined but just holding ya get?) and obviously every force has an equal and opposite Reaction (its SciEnTifiC oKaY) so since you stopped walking and you were connected to mark he kinda was pulled back and this is when you noticed how red his face was and that surprised you but at the same time youre sure you were too (but like im brown so you wouldnt even be able to tell ay ay) "you only noticed i was holding your hand this entire time now?" "uh.. well.. ummm-" "sorry do you want me t-" he said as he started letting go "no no its fine i was just surprised thats all" and you guys continue walking except now your fingers are intertwined and your heart beating double time. you truly liked mark for his personality, for the way he made you laugh, the way he made you feel, the way he treated you, you really liked him. you guys found a a green patch that was pretty empty and decided to sit. mark was pretty sleepy so he asked if he could put his head on your lap and you said sure. it was pretty late at night but you werent scared if anything you felt safe and happy. mark did that to you and as you looked down at his face you truly realized how beautiful he was. his skin was so smooth and the fluorescent lights along the park were reflecting on his round glasses that shaped his face perfectly. you then hesitated before taking his glasses off cause you noticed he takes them off whenever hes tired so you just wanted him to feel comfortable. he opened his eyes at that and looked straight into your eyes, his eyes truly glimmered in the light as if they were shining stars of their own but what you didnt know is that those same eyes have been staring at you all night admiring your beauty and presence. you give him a slight smile and he does the same before shutting his eyes once again. you kinda wished he didnt because you wanted to stare into his eyes for more but atleast he was getting rest. this is when you decided to play some music. it was calm and relaxing and always helped when you were feeling stressed and you could tell mark was for whatever reason cause he refuses to tell you and since music was such a huge part of your life you hoped it would help him too. you started singing along lowly and not to brag or anything but your voice wasnt half bad, after all you were a music major and one of the instruments you play was your throat so you sounded pretty nice and mark seemed to agree with this cause he then reached for your phone and paused the music to say, " i like your voice better" and you being way too scared to sing infront of him refused but eventually he convinced you by saying he would sing as well which he did and you guys sounded nice.

after staying for a bit longer you decided it was time to go home so you told mark to get up and he obliged. he held his hand out for you and even after helping you up he continued to hold it. he insisted on dropping you off to your dorm which hes visited before to watch a movie or two but thats all. on your way back you asked him, "mark are you sure you dont want to talk about whats stressing you out?" "no its okay really, thanks for caring" he replied "anytime and if you change your mind just call me okay?" he nodded you guys reached your house by now and mark with such sincerity in his voice said" thanks for today, really" "we do this almost every week what are you talking about" " i know but just thank you for being you" he says while staring admirably at your face "look mark, well first you know im always here even if we arent working the same shift anymore im glad we became as close as we are now cause i truly cant imagine my life without you and yeah i know its really cheesy but its true but most importantly you need to stop beating yourself up whenever you mess up. youre human and we tend to make mistakes sometimes and thats fine because i know you mark and i know at the end of the day you’re going to be an amazing dancer and youll be great at whatever you want to do so i dont know whats bothering you but whatever it is i know you can overcome it so just keep your head up high and be strong but dont be afraid to talk to people about it. and mark, im just saying all this cause i care abo-" interrupting what you were saying mark comes closer and kisses you. His lips were warm contradicting the the cold weather and one of his hands was around your waist ever so gently pulling you closer to him while the other was on your neck gently caressing it. his lips were so gentle yet so passionate as if you could feel all of his emotions, your eyes were closed and your hands were around his neck and then your fingers ran through his hair. you dont even know how long the kiss went on but you had to pull away cause you were out of breath. Your foreheads were against each other and noses almost touching his eyes were closed and he mumbled under his breath " thank you, thank you so much. thank you for being the person you are and for making me feel the way i feel. every time i see you im so mesmerized by the amount of beauty you can hold. everything you do makes my heart beat faster and im just so glad that youre in my life and im really sorry if you dont feel the same ill act like this never happened if you want me to but i really like you and i have for a long while and i just want to compliment you everytime i see you and hold your hand and kiss you to show you how much i appreciate you and god y/n you make me feel things i dont think ive ever felt befo-" "mark..." you say moving your head to look a him, he hesitantly opens his eyes expecting a rejection "i like you too" you say before giving him a deep but quick kiss and after that he lift you up and hugs you and start cheering almost about how happy he is. And that was the start of your relationship with mark lee <3

3:00 AM 1/24/2019 (this is when I wrote this can you frickin believe wow welp.. that was it)

#so this is the first piece of writing im posting and honestly it could be shit but thats okayyyy #i honestly dont even know if anyone is even going to read this #thats g though cause i finally posted this #i wrote this literally at the start of this year so im glad im finally posting ittt #let me know if you liked it or dont thats also fine #nct #nct fluff #nct mark #nct yuta #nct au #nct soft #nct scnearios #mark scenarios #nct mark soft #mark au #mark imagine #nct imagines #mark fluff #reader x mark #mark lee #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #nct u #superm #mark lee fluff #mark lee soft hours #nct writing #nct fanfic #mark fanfic

[thisiswhymomworries]

i dont want to intrude but how do you know if youre autistic? i feel like a number of "symtoms" fit me and it would explain certain things like i hate touching people, certain sounds feel like theyre cutting into my ears and certain textures like boiled carrots and manchester pants disgust me. but im also like, functioning? it doesnt really impact me cause i can work through them if i have to. am i allowed to id as autistic on the lighter spectrum? or are they just normal quirks?

I’ve just found that I have a lot of the traits and identify so much with other people who are autistic that it really just makes sense to me that I am too. right now I’m not pursuing a medical diagnosis because 1) I’m extremely lucky to be in an environment and life situation that I can function on my own so I don’t need any sort of disability; 2) disabled people (and the EOC on my employment application did include autism) can be paid literally whatever in the US, there is no minimum wage; 3) I’m busy dealing with my transition right now and don’t want to add another thing on top of it, especially if any cis doctor or therapist down the line could start using an autism diagnosis to claim I’m not really transgender for bullshit reasons

as for the spectrum, I think this article (written by an autistic person) is REALLY great at explaining what that actually means. it isn’t a spectrum from high-functioning to low-functioning; it’s a spectrum of different traits affecting different aspects of your life. for some people, these traits and the aspects affected (especially social skills and the ability to verbalize) clearly mark them as autistic and make it difficult for them to “”function”” in an allistic world. but that’s really only because the world doesn’t accommodate them. the article includes an interview from an autistic man with great social skills and a strong ability to empathize and understand how other people think and feel, but who couldn’t speak. so it was assumed he had a much lower intelligence than he really did and was “”low-functioning”” when actually he was very intelligent and could have done a lot more for himself if he could have communicated through computer much earlier

for me personally, I know my ability to function is entirely due to the wonderful job I have. it can get frustrating at times, but I basically sit at a desk in a library and occasionally answer questions when people come up to the desk and ask. there’s not a lot of physical activity, I don’t need too much social skills, and there’s no stress or pressure. I’m also able to only work 30 hours a week and still support myself. I know if I had to work a physical, stressful job for 40-60 hours a week, I would constantly have breakdowns and ultimately be unable to care for myself

so aside from the stigma of what autistic traits make some “high” or “low” functioning--I have huge sensory issues with taste and texture in food, so I’m a very “picky” eater, and while that has led to a lot of judgment and a borderline eating disorder, no one has ever said I can’t take care of myself and shouldn’t be allowed to be independent over it the way autistic people who have mobility issues, are nonverbal, or lack social skills can often be infantilized--there’s also a huge difference in environment

anyway, my point with this whole functioning tangent is that the flip side of the stigma leaves people deemed “high functioning” without much help or resources. autism is a different method of processing for your brain, not a mental illness. you don’t have to base your ID off how well you function or whether or not it’s causing you to suffer in your daily life. the article I linked to provides a great list of different autistic traits far better than I could cover, and with a really good explanation for how they can manifest in your life. imo, if you find other autistic people make way more sense than allistics, you recognize multiple symptoms/traits in your own life and personality, and that stays consistent after doing research, you’re probably autistic ^^

#tyvian-whaler #ask #answered