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readingslover · 1 year

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Chapter I

Welcome to the first chapter. I hope you will like it Link to next chapters will always be placed below the story.

January 10, 2020

I always try new things. I always want to be doing something, and lately, it is reaching further than just writing music or directing music videos. In 2019 I was approached by Baz Luhrmann. He alongside others is doing a movie about Elvis Presley. They asked me if I wanted to be the vocal coach for the actor who plays Elvis.

I had to think about it and see if it didn't cross with my upcoming tour. But after talking to him about it, Baz said they could try to film those as one of the first ones since the tour started in June. But it also meant that we had to go to Queensland as quickly as possible. So he decided that for this month I will meet up a few times with our Elvis, whose name I learned is Austin, to begin the vocal lessons for him to be in the right range. And then in February, we need to fly out to Queensland.

So he decided to get the main cast and crew together at his California house for dinner so we could get to know each other. But I don't think other people know who's working in the crew behind the scenes.

So here I am stressing out on his doorstep. In my blue jeans and gray pull. I know some people would say relax, but after everything that happened, it's really hard not to think about what they think about me. What did they hear about me? Will they like me?

But I just do what I always do, suck it up, and just do it. A few seconds after knocking on the door it opens. Baz is standing there with a big smile "Come in... You're the last one to arrive." He says while letting me in the house and closing the door.

"Well... I tried coming here earlier, but you know how traffic can be and I was in the studio preparing things for the release of the documentary. But I'm here now." I say following Baz into the house.

We get to his living room and he introduces me to everyone who is there. Tom Hanks, Olivia DeJonge, Dacre Montgomery, Richard Roxburgh, Austin Butler, Jeremy Doner (story writer, Gail Berman (producer), Damien Drew (art director). Some of the cast and crew couldn't make it due to personal reasons which I understand. I almost didn't want to come with everything that happened, but my mom said it would be good for me to mingle with people. Especially if I'm going to be working with them for the next couple of months.

After a while, we all go sit at the table. While dinner is being served everyone is making small talk about other projects they had the past year. "Hannah, this might be a rude question, but during filming, don't you have a tour?" Dacre asks and everyone turns their head to me. "I do have a tour planned, but when Baz approached me last year he said we could work around it since the tour only starts in June. Which gives us about 5 months before I have to leave." I say. I know he doesn't wanna be rude. With other people who would have something planned during this period, I would also ask questions.

When dinner is done I excuse myself for a moment outside. This sounds weird, but being with a large group of people for a long period of hours while just talking and not working is something I can't do. In between, I try to have these moments for myself, focus on myself, and after a few minutes go back inside.

I know I perform in front of thousands of people, but this feels different.

"Are you alright?" A deep voice asks me, startling me out of my thoughts. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed a breather." I answer. I turn around to look at the person who came outside to see it is Austin. "I get it. Sometimes it's just too much. I have my moments too." He says. For a few moments, it is just a comfortable silence between us before he speaks again.

"This may be weird, but I saw your Reputation stadium tour on Netflix. You did a great job. It's weird standing here next to you and talking to you."

"Thank you. We will try our best."

"You know what's weird about it? On the stage, you have this other personality. You are very open about everything. You are standing there as you do it evevery daynd then here you are talking like the least of everyone in that room. And I thought that, when I was watching the show, you were this person that just always talks. but you aren't."

"Throughout the years you learn that sometimes it's better to be preserved with people you don't know. When I'm on stage on tour I know that these people came to see me and everyone with me on stage, not because they are put in a room to get to know each other."

"I would wanna be put in a room with you," Austin said after I finished talking. I look at him to find him looking at me. "Oh, you would be disappointed to be put in a room with me. It's not that fun."

"It can't be that bad."

"I either write music or am overthinking about the things I wrote that I want to put on an album. It's not fun when nothing is happening around me for me to not focus on that."

"Is that the reason you are partly gonna be on set for the movie?"

"Partly. I have done coaching for musicals and stuff and it is fun, but I wanted to try something new. I just can't imagine doing nothing until I go on tour."

"Aaah, I get it. You just always want to do stuff."

"Yeah... I always want to do stuff."

After that, we stay outside for a few more minutes before heading back inside.

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January 15, 2020

You think you would get used to all the different interviews and rooms they put you in when you've done this since you were 15 or so.... but you don't.

I still am nervous about what they would ask. And for years I've played the girl who was quiet and would just be polite and wave, but over the last year, I learned that I don't have to be polite all the time. So here I am getting ready for my first interview of 2020 with Variety in the Beverly Hills Hotel.

We talk about the Golden Globes nomination with 'Cats' and my upcoming Netflix documentary 'Miss Americana' which will be out on January 31.

"The documentary will be about my whole life experience from being in the spotlight at a very young age to the whole world turning on me in 2016 to me going on my reputation tour and releasing my newest album 'Lover'.

I think it lets the people, mostly my fans, get to know a side of me they didn't. I talk about very controversial topics, which I normally only do in my songs. "

"Were you bummed that your album Reputation didn't receive any Grammy nominations?"

“'Yeah... I was at a moment in my life when I needed to come back after everything that happened. I showed them a new me. I told them my story. And it felt like it still wasn't enough. No matter how hard I try it will never be enough for some people and during that time I just needed the validation that what I'm doing is right. That I can come back and still make good music. I always had that fear. I told everyone that ‘Reputation’ wasn't good enough, after receiving no nomination. That I needed to make a better record. After some time I realized that just because I didn't get nominated doesn't mean that it's a bad record.”

"In the trailer, it is also pinpointing a moment where you speak up about politics, which you haven't done throughout your whole career. What made you decide that right now is the time to do so?"

"Every time I didn't speak up about politics as a young person, I was applauded for it. It was wild. I said, 'I'm a 22-year-old girl - people don't want to hear what I have to say about politics.' And people would just be like, 'Yeahhhhh!'

I was on my Rep tour at that moment. So I followed it on social media as most people do. I felt like I had this platform to do something about it. I argued with my dad about whether I should do it or not. He thought that I shouldn't get involved as I did earlier, but my gut told me that I needed to try.

To celebrate pride month but not advocate for those who felt wrong to me. Using my voice to try to advocate was the only choice to make. Because I've talked about equality and sung about it in songs like 'Welcome to New York,' but we are at a point where human rights are being violated. When you're saying that certain people can be kicked out of a restaurant because of who they love or how they identify, and these are actual policies that certain politicians vocally stand behind, and they disguise them as family values, that is sinister. So, so dark."

"In your documentary, you cover a lot that has happened over the years, but aside from the whole Kanye thing, there was one thing that I think stood out and that was when you were on stage playing the piano and talking about your sexual assault trial. Could you tell me more about that?"

"For me the trial was crucial. Needing to speak up about beliefs I'd always had because it felt like an opportunity to shed light on what those trials are like. I experienced it as a person with extreme privilege, so I can only imagine what it's like when you don't have that. And I think one theme that ended up emerging in the film is what happens when you are not just a people pleaser but someone who's always been respectful of authority figures, doing what you were supposed to do, being polite at all costs. I still think it's important to be polite, but not at all costs.

Not when you're being pushed beyond your limits, and not when people are walking all over you. I needed to get to a point where I was ready, able, and willing to call out bulls- rather than just smiling my way through it."

" As far as the Kanye thing goes. As a teenager who had only been in country music, attending my very first pop awards show. Somebody stood up and sent me the message: 'You are not respected here. You shouldn't be here on this stage.' That message was received, and it burrowed into my psyche more than anyone knew. ... That can push you one of two ways: I could have just curled up and decided I'm never going to one of those events ever again, or it could make me work harder than anyone expects me to, and try things no one expected, and crave that respect - and hopefully one day get it.

But then when that person who sparked all of those feelings comes back into your life, as he did in 2015, I felt like I finally got that respect, but then soon realized that for him it was about him creating some revisionist history where he was right all along, and it was correct, right and decent for him to get up and do that to a teenage girl.”

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@/HannaGrace posted on instagram

Liked by Selenagomez and others

Variety, I had an amazing time chatting with you. Thank you for stopping by.

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@/HannaGrace posted on Instagram

Liked by Selenagomez and others

I had the opportunity to premiere my new documentary Miss Americana at the 2020 Sundance Festival. Thank you to everyone who joined in.

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Chapter 2

#austin butler fanfic #austin butler #austin butler imagines #taylor swift #swifties #austin!elvis presley x reader #fanfic #taylornation

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landonkirbyappreciation · 2 years

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The way that at first I’d wanted the show to be saved because I wanna keep seeing more of Landon and for him to finally be treated better and get a good storyline, and of course I feel bad for those who lost their jobs. But at this point, like... there’s just no way I can support or want any more of what the writers have done. They have mistreated their POC male lead in ways unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Not just Landon as a character, but it extends to Aria as well, especially with what they’ve done to him this last season. They reduced him from the male lead to an extra with no storyline and hardly any screen time, separated him from majority of the cast, gave him the worst material to work with, all they’ve done is screw his character over. There’s gotta be some real prejudice going on or something with how they’ve treated him and it’s not okay. This is so wrong and damaging. This was Aria’s first big role, his first big project. He wanted to bring positive Middle Eastern representation to something, plus the fact that Landon was also an abused and bullied foster child and brought that representation to the show as well, and this is what the Legacies writers did. Killed Landon over and over again, a dozen times. They’ve inflicted constant violence and suffering on him. Have him continuously being sacrificed and left behind for everyone else’s benefit and no one cares. He gets no funeral ever, no respect is given, nothing. All they do is use him and hurt him. They’ve treated him as nothing more than a pawn, a plot device. He gets no storyline, no development, nothing for him as a character. He just gets tossed aside like garbage, thrown away like he’s nothing. They’ve done this to him nonstop. Add onto that all the unhealthy and harmful messages in the writing as well, I just... no. If the show continued with the same people in charge, this would all continue, the mistreatment would continue. Because Brett and these writers have shown us that they will never change, things would never improve. They had two whole seasons to do better and they didn’t, it only got worse and worse. They’d never treat Landon better, they’d just come up with new ways to hurt and disrespect him like they always have. And Aria would have to continue to put up with it. No way can I watch anymore of that or support that. I’d be all for the show continuing with a new and better showrunner and writers who’d put a stop to what’s been going on, and if the actors wanted to come back. But otherwise, no thank you. Even if by some miracle Landon gets a happy ending, it in no way makes up for what the writers have done. And what they’ve done is disgusting and inexcusable. It’s sad that something that got off to a great start, and had so much potential and could’ve really been amazing, turned into something so bad and painful to watch that, even though I feel bad for the cast and crew who wanted to continue, I’m grateful that the writers won’t be able to do anymore damage.

#text #my posts #this has honestly been the most discouraging and frustrating show i've ever seen #it's just wrong #their writing and what they've done does not deserve any support or to be fought for #sorry #and since they are all about acceptance #accepting horrible things that happen and being fine with it #i’m gonna honor what they taught me by accepting the cancellation #and being totally fine with it

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mayasdeluca · 3 months

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I have a friend who's been an admin assistant on Abbott Elementary for their 2nd season. She's working to become a television writer. Anyway at the start of this year she got moved over to Station 19. And of course since I'm a huge fan of the show I've been asking her for the inside scoop. She doesn't know much but when she got to the new set she was completely shocked that the cast and crew don't really have a good relationship. She came from Abbott where they really were a family. The writers even spent time with her because they know she's trying to learn how to get into that game.

Unfortunately, according to my friend, Station 19 has had some issues behind the scenes between the actors and the crew and the writers. Which she believes is one of the reasons it's led to the cancelation.

Oh and when the crew are in their holding rooms waiting to be called on set, Danielle and Stefania are separated and don't share the same room anymore :( Danielle is either with the crew and writers or in her trailer.

Also a blast email went out to the cast urging them to do social posts about the show but apparently they all are just not having it.

So yeah take and do with that what you will.

Thanks for sharing. I'm sure the vibe is different this year considering the news of the cancellation and everyone handling and dealing with that in their own way so I would be curious to know if that's what your friend is sensing as opposed to how it would have been last season for example. But it also doesn't surprise me to hear that they aren't this 'one big happy family' because I never got that impression either. It's pretty clear that there are groups and people are closer to others in the cast and that's who they gravitate towards.

That's disappointing to hear about Danielle and Stefania though if that's true, especially since the room story last year was really sweet and it didn't seem like they wanted to be separated. I guess they have their reasons and obviously Danielle is close to the writers/crew so it makes sense that she spends time with them also but it's a shame they don't share a room anymore.

#asks #anon #this just made me depressed tbh lol

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payidaresque · 2 years

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I agree with you as I'm not sure why they didn't start looking for a new screenwriter when the show was originally renewed. Its as if they rushed it all last minute as everything seemed all over the place. Unfortunately, its pretty common along turkish screenwriters to be obsessed with love triangles and surprisingly hard to find a decent writer these days. Just yesterday a new turkish show trailer was aired which also had a love triangle 🙃

I'm guessing the cancellation came from Murat being the main one to object the script because he is the main protagonist in the show. You cant really blame the man for not wanting to play out another dumb triangle lol. It wouldn't work if he wasn't happy. I also think his wife being pregnant (the rumour is) might have played a part as they've been wanting a baby for the longest time so im sure this might have played into his decision making. It's still all confusing to be honest and pretty much unfair to everyone (especially us fans who were waiting).

Aziz was the most successful internationally but turkish channels still have cancelled several shows which were popular worldwide. They've done it plenty of times before with really popular shows.

Yeah, you are definitely right about Damla she's not really anything special in terms of acting. A lot of her projects she's done are indie or Internationally smaller projects. Her fans were annoyed that she didn't get any praise for the playing Dilrubra whereas Simay Barlas has had endless praise for her role as Efnan. Even people who dropped the show were praising Simays acting after the cancellation news. Her fans are rabid animals honestly (just to be blunt Lol).

EXACTLY. It feels like there wasn't enough time JUST because they didn't prepare (doing fuck knows what for almost 3 months when they should be working instead). Gee, what kind of obsession it is with the love triangles?.. JUST LET IT GO. Actually, i think no screenwriter should EVER do that if they have even a tiny bit of respect for their profession. Eugh... i'm still pissed at Eda for the 19-22 episodes — i mean, what the actuall fuck was that?! Don't they get sick with themselves just reading that on paper? Jesus. I saw Eylem's shows, and i actually think we could have a decent season if she would be the main screenwriter.. i'm not even pissed at the finale, because it was decent (considering how much Eda messed with the plot so Ali Onur and co had to fix her shit), but decent as in THE CLOSING OF THE CHAPTER, NOT THE ENTIRE SHOW. I'm pissed at the fact that they didn't adrress any of the main topics, like:

— Kenan's punsishment for killing Mustafa (forever mad); — Maksude's hapinnes (also forever mad) — Adem's story (there could be so much more to it...) — Aziz basically ruling Hatay (otherwise why would they mention the parliament, jesus, i'd love to see that..)

and SO MUCH MORE. This show had so much potential for further development, and it's all just wasted for nothing over MONEY. I'm curious why they made us wait before announcing the cancellation, either it was planned from the start (knowing how they shot the finale) and they were just toying with us (fucking cruel thank you), or it was actually a last-minute decision

Oh, i didn't know about the baby! Whether it's true or not, i wish Murat & Iman every happiness 💜 Lmao, the whole cast went "we're not doing this shit thank you" and i respect that 💀 How little respect you must have for your abilities in order to actually be involved in something like that... not blaming anyone from the cast, because it's outrageous to say the least. I blame ShowTV and O3Medya for behaving like fucking immatures instead of fulfilling their DIRECT DUTIES. It's disrespectful to the fans, the cast, and the entire crew that worked on the show to make a living

See, i just don't get it. If you KNOW something is popular and you can make money from it, WHY CANCEL IT? Aren't you the ones to directly make a profit out of selling the show abroad? don't you get all the money? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT LOGIC. Are they the only ones to do that?? Honestly, it really looks like sabotage to me

i saw only 2 of Damla's project, one is an indie movie called Sibel and the show from Netflix, the Ottoman Empire (i love Tuba Buyukustun very much, so), and she was.. okay in both projects, but nothing mind-blowing really. Simay's getting praised because she is both the main lead and for her ASTONISHING performance (it can be very easy for a young actress to get lost near someone like Murat, but she said "hold my beer, i'm gonna nail it"). We can't help but stan 💜 Sorry Damla's fans, stay mad i guess lol 💀

I'm actually looking forward to their future projects (that is, of course, if a miracle won't happen. You can't blame a person for hoping), because i loved them all very much and this was truly perfectly harmonized cast who seemed to have fun working together 💜

#answered #aziz #aziz whining

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luciferloveschloe · 3 years

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goodbye, lucifer (but not really!)

I cannot BELIEVE that I just watched the last episode of my favourite show.

I usually cram everything I have to in tags under gifsets I reblog, but for this final season I'll go through the pain of actually writing shit down. I'll try to keep it short, and I'll try not to ramble. (Edit: Did not accomplish that.)

what i loved

SCREAMS

God, soooooooo much!!

Deckerstar baby

Okay, so when Rory showed up in the trailer I was like "Ugh, another annoying angel? Meh." FORGIVE ME, my sweet murder child! Of all the things I thought they might do, a Deckerstar baby was DEAD LAST on my list. And a daughter no less, I just... When she says she's Lucifer's daughter, I was like *SCREAMS*, but when we learn she's Lucifer AND Chloe's daughter, I completely lost it. My boyfriend's on a trip with his friends this week and I'm sooo grateful for that, I made the weirdest, loudest, ugliest noises while watching this season, I ran around our apartment like a maniac, I squealed and laughed and cried and just generally lost my mind. But when she says that?? Oh my God. Also the way Lucifer reacted when Chloe shows him the pregnancy test? Straight outta fanfic.

Lucifer being a father

Oh my God?? I've always said he'd be the BEST father, and actually seeing it on screen... I love the parallel of him being ridiculously over the top with Rory at first, just like God and Lucifer in S5. The way he looks at her when he sees her playing the guitar? Their duet?? Instantly one of my favourite scenes. Them driving in the Corvette, their last day together, how he keeps her from killing Le Mec? Just murder me.

Established Deckerstar

All the hugs and kisses?? The declarations of love, the besotted looks, the absolute power couple we got? Their look from Maze and Eve's wedding, OH MY GOD???? Just, these two are so pretty and we got SO MUCH. Also, their scenes with Rory?? I just love them so much...

(More under the cut!)

Ella's storyline

I wanted a reveal for her so badly, and the way it turned out was brilliant! I loved her figuring it out for herself and calling everyone out lmao. I especially loved poor Carol returning to that room full of shocked people. They had some GREAT punchlines and gags this season, absolutely hilarious! I also love Lucifer's parting gift for her and that she finally found a good one with Carol.

Hugs, so many hugs!

That's it, that's the paragraph.

The Police storyline

As a white person who has literally never once had a problem with the police, I know this is not my place to say, but I think they did a good job? Not giving into the "a few bad apples" excuse but acknowledging that the whole system needs to change? I also really enjoyed the scenes with Amenadiel and Officer Harris, showing what policework could and should look like.

Maze and Eve's happily ever after

I'm so glad auntie Maze and auntie Eve got their happy ending! And that wedding was a bomb. Also, "You're my hell!", lmao.

Dan's ascend to heaven

First of, great to know his only torture was Belios' lack of table tennis skills. Secondly, how very fitting for the show that they didn't hand Dan his happy ending easily, that he fought and won it for himself. Him as a ghost and him as Le Mec was equally funny, and his talk with Trixie was just perfect, literally tears you guys.

Amenadiel becoming God

I mean, dude's perfect for the job! From the loyal, distant, obeying servant to a God who wants to work as a team with his siblings, who wants the Celestials to experience the human world, who hates injustice and loves fiercely? In this universe, I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be God.

Nobody misses the case of the week

At least I don't! God, I wish they'd tried this out sooner.

The bittersweet ending

Let's preface this by saying I HATE bittersweet endings. Give me a happily ever after or else. And yet, and yet!! I think the ending they settled on is perfect. Would I have loved it if Lucifer had a life on earth with Chloe, Trixie and Rory? God, yes. Do I get emotional over him being alone in hell, again? Goddd, yes. But still. I so love that he found his calling in the end, that they reunited, and that he actually makes good on his promise from S5 to change the system. Also, I don't care if this is canon or fanon for now, but they totally spend time in heaven with Rory and visit earth whenever they like. And this would have been my ideal ending - them being free to go where they like, and I don't see why they shoudn't. It's definitely more satisfying than just traipsing off to heaven indefinitely, so I really, really loved that.

what i didn't (do feel free to skip this!)

Lucifer missing out on Chloe's life on earth and being alone in hell again. Chloe being left again.

Time travel shenanigans. I just finished Dark and that was enough of a mindfuck. Do not want to think about loops for this show, thank you very much.

Chloe felt a little too housewifey in the first episodes, but it thankfully didn't stay that way for long.

Lucifer and Chloe talking about keeping secrets for a whole episode, and then NOBODY TALKING ABOUT URIEL AND CANDY. I mean, ahhhhhhh! If you don't want to talk about it, then don't, but don't remind people of it constantly and then NOT discuss it. It drives me mad, honestly, how many times they referenced these storylines only to completely ignore them when there were opportunities to resolve them. Ahhh. That's what fic is for, I guess.

Adam. Like, why? Bye, dude.

what i'll keep with me

When someone I'd just met at my boyfriend's cousin's wedding in 2019 recommended this "funny, little show" to me that intrigued them because they were interested in finding their faith, I really didn't think I'd write all this three years later.

Lucifer is my third fandom, and it won't be my last, but it sure as hell - ha - will stay with me. I resonate so deeply with Lucifer as a character because he fights with the idea of God, fights with this concept of a benevolent father that everyone seems to believe in but never fit his experience. I come from a Christian family and studied theology, but somewhere along the lines I had to come to terms with the fact that the faith I had as a child and teenager didn't fit me anymore. I want to believe again, and maybe someday I will, but right now I don't know that. So Lucifer's journey with that meant a lot to me. I'd like to find what Ella did, I guess.

Although I never really thought Lucifer needed redemption, I loved the whole "anybody can be redeemed" message as well. And hell reform! Hell is such a weird, awful construct - speaking as the theology expert - bringing a bit of purgatory in in this universe is really fucking cool.

Also, I binged Lucifer when I was alone in hospital late at night. That experience alone I'll never forget.

So, I guess - thank you!! Thank you to the cast and crew, to the fans who campaigned for season four, to Ildy and Joe, to the writers and the directors and the people who brought lunch: Thank you so much for this incredible show. I'm not ready to say goodbye, not by a long shot, and I hope this fandom feels the same.

Yabba dabba do me, I love my stupid little show!!!

#lucifer #lucifer netflix #chloe x lucifer #deckerstar #lucifer spoilers #lucifer season six #meta #s6 #i will also leave so many comments on gifsets

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ficforthought · 3 years

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On being SO DONE with M*sha, a rant a decade in the making!

After giving this some thought I'm going to go ahead and give my opinion on Misha and yesterday’s situation in public for the first time ever. I was going to just post on Twitter but since this has been 12 years in the making I have exceeded the number of tweets I can put in one thread! There’s A LOT in here, so my summary is also long. I'm aware that I will lose followers over this, I'm not looking to offend anyone but it will inevitably happen. I wish anyone leaving all the best as fellow human beings.

TL;DR - having kept quiet for so long I’ve finally reached my limit and it’s all come bubbling out. I’ve never been a fan of Misha, I’ve been ambivalent for the most part, but have never criticised him in any hateful way, that's not who I am, but after all these years of putting up with his bullshit, attention seeking and troublemaking I am DONE. Deleting his tweet containing the word Wincest and replacing it with an APOLOGY just to pander to his Minions and save face is the straw that broke the camel's back. He has consistently pushed his ship on not only fans but on other actors (despite Jensen's discomfort, and him having repeatedly made his feelings known on it), he has stood by while his Minions/Hellers have harassed, victimised, doxxed and sent death threats to people based on their FICTIONAL ships. He has pandered to their gatekeeping, constantly demanded attention in obvious and not so obvious ways, and to the best of my knowledge never criticised their actions even though he's aware of it in a very real way. Some of his Minions have now taken their shit into The Boys fandom and created negativity for Jensen before the guy has even got a foot through the set door, and how is that supporting one half of your ship?

Misha has claimed to be a victim of targeted harassment from Wincest/brother fans (not only shippers) yet his fans have said and done the most despicable things on his watch, all in the name of what he must think is entertainment, or even his idea of a ‘joke’.

Any respect I had for the man based on his humanitarian work has gone because I can only take so much hypocrisy. He and his pandering because of a desperate attempt to be woke and wholly inclusive (which is actually impossible, no matter how good intentions are) are beyond pathetic. Whilst I have never seen why people think he’s so great I have friends IRL and online who genuinely adore the man, yet they have been shocked and upset by his contempt for half of the fandom that made him somewhat famous. It's disgusting and I'm not scrolling by any more. Misha, I hope to never see you on anything J2 related in future because none of us need that kind of negativity, *especially* not J2. Be gone, foul fiend!

OK, so to the too long part. Please be aware that these are my opinions as a fan of the show, of Sam and Dean, and J2, not only as a shipper. I can separate canon and fanon, and can view canon from a gen or shippy PoV. Whether you agree or disagree with my opinion let me be clear that I do not condone constant bashing and hate of a person or character so this isn’t the start of a regular thing for me. It's possible to have an opinion and not show the same vitriol that has been following this man around for years, and that’s what I’m doing. I've not posted this to prompt more negativity, it's simply to get it off my chest and make it clear how I feel. I stand by my philosophy of ship who you want to ship, enjoy it, but don't force it on other people and don't be a dick about it…hmm, that kinda sounds like familiar behaviour, though, does it not?!

I have ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE with other people liking Misha, Cas or Destiel when it’s for the love of the characters and the ship. What I *do* have an issue with is people who are the true definition of a Heller. I don’t see that as a generic term, don't be ignorant and think I do because I know the difference between actual ship fans and the crazies, both ships have ‘em and I want no part of either of their venom. If you are reading this and class yourself as a Heller then you are part of the problem so run along and as you are all so fond of saying, 'get help' and take your bestie king with you.

I’m stating my opinion in what I feel is the most mature way I can, because unlike many people on SM, I am an adult and can act accordingly, with forethought and without resorting to temper tantrums and bullying of other people to get my point across. I am able to tell the difference between reality and fiction, I don't tar everyone with the same shipper brush and I don't expect everyone to agree with my opinion, but as we know opinions are like arseholes, we all have them and sometimes they stink. Unlike some, for the most part in life (online and offline) I *do* stand by what I say and don’t backtrack or delete things to appease the masses. I have spent a lot of time writing this out to be as clear as possible without being intentionally hateful. Bear with me jumping between actor and character where relevant, at this point they're conjoined. I will say this before I go any further, it doesn’t end well for Misha, I don’t mince my words and if you don’t like seeing facts and opinions laid out, this isn't the post for you.

I’ll say right off the bat what most of you have surmised - I’ve never held Misha (or Cas) in high esteem but I have never *hated* on him. I have shared mild criticism of his actions and opinions on Cas over the years but never, I feel, in any way that has made me feel I have something to apologise for. I have said several times I've been unhappy about Misha crashing con panels, taking attention away from J2 when at those cons *most* people paid their hard earned money to see the STARS of the show they love, first and foremost, and anyone else is a very nice bonus. The odd appearance here and there crashing a panel is fine (and Misha isn’t the first or last person to do it), maybe take up a few minutes then leave, but when someone commandeers an entire panel, that's just not on. It's not only selfish, rude and attention seeking but also disrespectful to other actors, fans and to the organisers who work hard to make sure everything ties in to give us the best con experience we can have. Everyone gets their turn on stage, there's no need to try and hog any more of the limelight, Veruca Salt style. Oh, and if you’re reading this and not getting that reference, (a) you shouldn’t be on my blog because you’re far too young, (b) look it up, and if you still don’t get what I’m saying… well then please refer to point (a). Thank you, kindly!

There was a time in Kripke's era where Cas was - I feel - intentionally used as a pawn by the writers to divert *canon* from the ‘questionable’ relationship between Sam and Dean, i.e. Wincest focus. Prior to that people (other fans) lightened up and just accepted the fact that Wincest had been there since day one in terms of the writing of the show and the fandom. All the cast and crew knew - J2, Kripke and JDM in particular - and made light of it, never judging, never shaming and often encouraging it because they understand it’s a fun part of fandom. Wincest was present enough to be part of the not so subtle subtext, as I said people just accepted it. Kink tomato was alive and well, so was ‘don’t like, don’t read’ and we all just scrolled over things we didn’t like without turning everything into a personal vendetta and excuse for bullying others who didn’t share our views. When the angels came into the plot I think most of us Wincest fans gave the Dean/Cas innuendos the small laugh they deserved and then turned back to the focus of the show which was the brothers, as it had always been intended. Misha, however, milked those moments as much as possible which was amusing at the start but got old *very* quickly, not just for fans (shippers and non shippers alike), but for other actors, in particular Jensen who is on record MULTIPLE times showing his dislike for Destiel. He told people outright that's not how he was playing the relationship between the two characters and CATEGORICALLY said "Destiel doesn't exist" but did it end there? No, it did not because neither fans or Misha let it go, in fact Misha only pushed more, goaded fans into flogging the same dead horse as much as possible. He’s never stopped, not even when there was so much discord in the fandom, a huge wedge was driven into it because of ships, which IMO he heavily contributed to.

Fast forward to over a decade later (a decade, seriously man, let it fucking go!) he didn’t even stop when Destiel did partially go canon. I have never doubted that Cas loved Dean (Sam, too) because in SPN lore angels are made to love, even rebellious ones. I, along with many others, liked that about Cas because who doesn't love a rebel, especially one rebelling for very good reasons, and because of those two wonderful men? Sam and Dean allowed him to see beyond what he'd been brainwashed to believe his entire existence. The fact is that although the nature of that love changed for Cas, it never did for Dean and was CANONICALLY UNREQUITED because Dean was incapable of loving anyone else as much as he loved Sam. All that mattered to Dean, even when he saw other characters as "family" was still Sam…ALWAYS Sam, every step of the way. Again for those who have too much Misha shaped wax in their ears, that’s canon. Whether people choose to see that love platonically or romantically is up to them, soulmates don't always have to be romantic, either way, brotherly love won out above all else on the show. No amount of Misha screaming ‘hey look, Destiel!’ changed that, but it sure didn’t stop him trying, did it?

So now that the obvious has been stated, here's something else we all know - never once in all of the years on the show did Misha drop rallying of the troops to his precious, ego stroking ship. Never once (that I am aware of) has he called out his Minions and Hellers on their continued harassment of everyone involved in the show and other fans despite the fact that they have bullied, victimised and wished bodily harm, rape and death on people who don't see their ship and because didn't get the ending to the story that they wanted. Not once has Misha shown any remorse for the trauma his "fans" have caused, and I’m taking REAL trauma, here, not the kind Twitter stans see as ‘triggering’ - people have been driven to close SM accounts, attempted, and in some cases succeeded in taking their own lives. These Minions have openly mocked Jared’s struggles with depression and anxiety, and Misha - who claims to be friends with J2 and be supportive of them in every way - has stood by and let it all play out, knowing full well some of the goings on, if not the full extent of how toxic these people are. We know he sees things being said online, and I have absolutely no doubt he spends time online searching his name for things that are relevant in some way to him in an effort to insert himself into a current conversation, or even start one so that attention is on him. Gotta stay relevant, somehow, right, Mish?

He has actively encouraged bullying by his actions of enabling the behaviours above, both by the flogging of the aforementioned dead horse, AND by not objecting to unacceptable behaviours. Remember when Minions and Hellers were slating J2, particularly Jared, for not posting on SM about BLM and other topics? Yeah, he didn’t ask them to stop doing that, either, even when he was tagged in things along the lines of ‘If Misha can post why can’t J2?’ etc. There have been some token protests, con vids I've seen have show his 'objections' which IMO have been done in a very tongue in cheek way, meaning that those people who needed to be pulled aside and told to change their ways just carried on, because their evil overlord didn’t explicitly explain it in terms a three year old could understand that bullying and forcing your opinion on others is WRONG. Not all of his cult are young and impressionable, not by a long shot, but many of the more vocal and vitriolic ones are.

As a father himself I wonder what Misha would do if he found out that his kids were behaving in ways his Minions are? I’m aware they’re young, but kids are cruel and bullying doesn’t just happen online. Even at whatever age they are, would he laugh it off the way he appears to have done with all of this fandom toxicity? Not bloody likely! I wonder if he’s as desperate to gain the approval of his family, friends and colleagues as he appears to be for that of his Minions/Hellers? I would certainly hope so, but that question can only be answered by Misha, himself, and I can and will not presume to speak on someone else's behalf on things in their personal life. For the record I would never presume I know what J2's answers would be on anything, however I do feel that after 15 years I have an accurate gauge on what kind of people they are so would be confident that any opinion I had on a matter aligns with their morals and ethics. As much as J2 have shared of themselves with us - willingly and under no pressure to do so, I might add - we don't *know* them, but we know enough to have an informed opinion. I can’t say the same for Misha because based on the behaviour he’s repeatedly displayed, things I've heard about from other fans as well as people I know IRL who have had direct dealings with him through cons or GISH (including some very actively in the early days when it was GISHWHES) he just hasn’t seemed like a person I wanted to follow on SM. I’ve never watched any of his solo panels, though I have watched ones with both or one of the J's, mostly being left irritated because of his behaviour. Watching the J’s put up with that shit is painful, and it’s a testament to how good they are as actors that they managed to hide at least some of their disdain for as long as they did. Microexpressions give them away, particularly Jensen, and they certainly have faces I have spent many years watching closely. Beautiful faces to go with beautiful souls, both of them! <3

I have precisely ZERO interest in Destiel as a ship, very little interest in Cas as a character anymore (though I did like him in the early days,and his relationship with Jack in late seasons) so I have absolutely no reason or desire to follow anything Misha does. That said, I've obviously been peripherally aware of some things he's been involved in because of friends, from things I’ve seen on SM and general fandom stuff. Despite the things I've already mentioned about his behaviour, up until now I have been able to maintain a level of respect for him as a person because of the humanitarian and charity work he's done. He seems like someone who really does want to change the world for the better and I am in full support of that fact, so much so that I have supported TWO campaigns relating to him. I bought one of the Super Good t-shirts for the campaign he did with Michael Sheen (a true angel!), the SPN/Good Omens x-over to help homeless charities, and I chose the design with text only and not artwork of Michael and Misha on, basically because I didn’t want to be wearing something with Misha’s face on it and I make absolutely no apology for that, whatsoever. I also bought Alex's #TheEndHasNoEnd shirt, which some of the profits went to Random Acts who do great work, so again, despite not liking Misha I still willingly contributed for a cause bigger than me, and to support Alex, who I absolutely ADORE. I'm aware that Stands aren't popular with some of the fandom, however since most of the cast of SPN are happily affiliated with them then I don't feel it's my place to either judge, or to discuss topics I know next to nothing about. But I digress, as a decent human being I have shown support tangentially to a man who I don't care for out of respect for the work he does outside the fandom. Telling you this isn’t to paint myself in a good light - I don’t need your approval, I’m a big girl, unlike some I don’t need constant validation! - only to provide background on how I’ve actively *not* hated on Misha.

Now though, any respect I had for him has come to an abrupt end, the events of the past 24 hours has seen to that. Whilst I have been annoyed at his behaviour in regards to shipping, I don't feel it's ever gone this far, or at least not that I've seen first hand. This man has, IMO, contributed to so much toxicity in the fandom by way of things I've mentioned before, he's claimed - without actually saying the words - that Wincest fans weren't interested in him as a character when he came onto the show, and hasn’t felt included because of the fans’ love of the brothers. Um, hate to break it to you, love, but when you come onto an established show that is about two people, and you’re a *guest star* you can’t expect everyone to love you. Some characters we as individuals do fall in love with straight away (Bobby, Charlie, Crowley and Rowena are good examples for me), it takes time to establish a dynamic, so if that’s how he felt then it was incredibly naive of him as an actor to expect instant acceptance from anyone. Also, why wait until after the show finished to bring it up AGAIN … oh wait, yeah, that would be to step back into the limelight in a way intended to garner sympathy from Minions and INTENTIONALLY piss off bro fans and Wincest shippers alike? How fucking self centred, desperate and disrespectful do you have to be to shit all over the finale of a show that for the most part accepted you and kept you in paid work for 12 years? Well, Misha Collins levels of all of those things, obviously.

So, on the topics of self centred, desperate to stay relevant, attention seeking and being oh so needy, the tweet yesterday from Amazon mentioned Castiel. He wasn’t tagged in it, so I refer to my earlier comment about searching online, because how else would he have possibly seen that? It’s possible someone sent it to him, I appreciate that, but if we go off past behaviour it’s not any stretch at all to believe that didn’t happen. So, once again, having seen the tweet he took it upon himself to - oh so predictably - turn it into something relating to Destiel. When I saw it I immediately rolled my eyes and thought ‘here we go again’, but then also had a little smile because I really liked the fact that he explicitly mentioned Wincest, therefore seeming to accept that his poor old dead horse wasn’t the only one in the race. I actually mentally tipped my hat to him then because it appeared that he’s matured enough to acknowledge by name the ship that predates his inclusion on the show. Great, I thought, this is a positive thing in a sea of negativity surrounding the man and his sunken ship, because what followed was Wincest trending in the US (it may also have been other countries as well but I had to sleep!) … largely due to the fact that Hellers were responding to it, calling him out on mentioning the dreaded ‘W’ word. I’ll repeat that because it’s been a rare occurrence up to that point… the Minions were actually disappointed with their overlord for mentioning another ship. We all know what they think of it and I for one, don’t give a flying fuck about their opionion. Ship and let ship, it’s all fun (or meant to be) so we have different tastes, that’s life kiddiwinks, deal with it. I mean, you really don’t have much of an example set for you when your king has proven several times over to be one of the biggest obnoxious brats out there, but just give it a try for your own sakes, yeah? Awesome, good on you, besties!

An unexpected development - to my joy and that of other Wincest shippers - them doing that got the topic trending, only *kept* trending by the fact that were all coming online asking why it was trending. Wincest shippers barely lifted a finger, we just flooded each other’s timelines with lovely content and basked in the Hellers - and Misha - shooting themselves in the foot, which was awesome. But did the vitriol stop? No. Did he get the attention he so clearly craves? Yes. Was it in the way he wanted? Fuck no, so poor, emotionally wounded baby backtracked after seeing that his name was trending alongside Wincest because that’s *so* not what someone narcissistic to do it in the first place, wanted.

Now here’s where I could easily have just moved on with an unusually fond chuckle, giving him an ironic pat on the back and a ‘thanks, Misha’ for being the one to instigate hours of fun, but once again his despicable behaviour made that impossible. It’s been more than obvious for many years that he cares more about what his fans think than anything else to do with the show and the fandom in a larger sense, but to delete the tweet and APOLOGISE for daring to be so insensitive to the snowflakes’ delicate sensibilities for mentioning Wincest in the first place was absolutely disgusting. Stating , “I used a term that I had never really given any thought to other than, "that's a thing?! Yuck." is not only complete and utter bullshit, it’s pandering of the highest order.

We all know he has referred to Wincest on multiple occasions, so to say he hadn’t thought about is a flat out lie, which IMO is an insult to everyone, not just Wincest shippers. Does the man have no self respect at all, why would you contradict yourself in the face of such overwhelming evidence? Instead of either ignoring all the people calling him out, or addressing it with another tweet saying ‘yeah, that happened’ or something similar he chose, I repeat, CHOSE the route of claiming he didn’t realise he was being offensive to people who felt ‘triggered’ by him using the word Wincest. He basically shat all over an entire ship and large sector of the fandom in an attempt to appease his own fan base which consists of a lot of children (or those that act like children) who have no idea what RL is like.

Once again, he’s reinforced the idea that if you shout loud enough at someone just because you don’t like something they said, they will back down and apologise for something even when there’s nothing to apologise for. If he wants to be such a role model then he could easily have pointed out that a fictional ship doesn’t condone RL incest, any ACTUAL trauma people have suffered because of RL situations, and made an effort to make sure people understand that. He COULD have used it as an opportunity to do some good in the fandom by encouraging people to build bridges, to accept that people are entitled to their beliefs and that sometimes we see things differently but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat others with BASIC HUMAN DECENCY because of it. Instead he YET AGAIN chose to show that he cares more about what Minions think of him, keeping them onside to constantly stroke his unbelievably fragile ego in everything he does.

It is my understanding that Misha is big on (or claims to be big on) putting positive energy out into the world, treating people with respect, helping others and accepting people for who they are, not who you want them to be… all this after YEARS of consistently practising what he preaches only when it suits him. He sends out a message that it’s perfectly OK to bully, to spread hate, to draw attention to yourself at the cost of others, to throw colleagues and friends under the bus and at the same time use them to further your own agenda and get hits for your YouTube channel. Is this really the legacy he wants to leave? Is this an environment he wants his own kids to grow up in as well as future generations? Is this what he thinks is a valuable contribution as a human being? JFC, the arrogance, hypocrisy and the need for constant validation this man exhibits is nothing short of cringeworthy… actually it’s beyond that. It’s deplorable behaviour, it’s not new, and he will continue to act like this for as long as he’s being enabled and this harmful cycle needs to end.

I have friends IRL and online who are (now, possibly, were) big Misha fans, who have supported him from either the beginning of his run on the show, or since they started watching, and this is how he repays this behaviour? He’s willfully alienating decent people (including multishippers) all to make himself look good by being seen to do everything he can not to offend people. Spoiler alert, you DID offend people, you continue to do so time and again and we’ve had enough. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be such a perpetual people pleaser, but let me say it’s not doing you any favours in any way, shape or form.

Misha, you are *not* a role model, you’re *not* someone to look up to when you can't live up to the ideals you preach. You’re spitting in the face of people who have supported you even after some questionable things in the past, who gave you the benefit of the doubt because we’re all human and we all make mistakes. The key to growing as a person is not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, understanding *why* what you said and/or did was a mistake and making a concerted effort to make changes. I don’t ever see you doing that, you will continue down this path of only caring about Minions under the guise of caring for people in general. You are transparent, you are sad and despite the fact I’ve never particularly liked you, I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to get involved in the drama. Well now I have spoken up and I’m saying you’re a disgrace, you have no respect for other people and nobody is fooled anymore. If it hadn’t been this tweet it would have been something else, but I for one am glad it happened so soon after the show ended so we can finally be rid of the limpet-like behaviour. It’s over, let it go for the sake of what dignity you might have left, for the sake of your family and friends and for the sake of anyone who isn’t capable of seeing through your ‘it’s a joke’ mentality.

You have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found wanting. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Misha.

For anyone who made it to the end of my ramble, thank you. This has been a cathartic exercise and I’m drawing a line under it now, I don’t think I could possibly make my thoughts any clearer. I urge you not to get caught up in any petty squabbles with his Minions, let’s celebrate J2 and other cast and crew members who have shown us all respect and who I am proud to call part of the SPN family. There’s always one member of the family who needs to be frozen out for the good of everyone else.

#ficforthought speaks #sorry not sorry #i spent way too long on this #purging the poison

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jodibodie · 3 years

Text

I Have Some Feelings

To start let me just emphasize how much I love and adore this show and always will. This was my covid show. Both of my kids loved “Lucifer” and always said I should watch so at the start of covid I binged it and when I say binged, I mean all 4 seasons in a few days and have rewatched so many times I’ve lost count. I think it is timeless, engrossing, original and all around amazing. The writing and the cast were all excellent. The writing was smart and consistently strong and that is so rare. Funny, sad, poignant, it hit all the notes with very few plot holes or missteps. There is not one episode in the entire series that was not engaging. Even if I didn’t like an episode, it was still well done. What a rarity.

The cast is scary good. Completely underrated. Just all phenomenally talented. I don’t remember the last time a cast was this strong. From the core group to both reoccurring and guest stars, the cast was just fantastic.

Tom Ellis, no words. The man deserves to choose whatever he wants to do acting wise. He should have people breaking down his door. He can truly do it all and do it all well. He took a character that if portrayed by a lesser actor could have come off as a complete asshole and made him one of the most sympathetic and loveable characters in recent history. Ellis made a crime solving devil, a promiscuous man-child that occasionally breaks into song and the evidence room into a beloved character that has become an icon.

Lauren German, WOW. She is just so damn good. She can break your heart one second and have you laughing the next. She makes Chloe real, and people don’t realize how hard that is. Chloe is smart, kind, tough and gorgeous but she’s also an insecure dork. She’s us and German just brings it.

DB Woodside I’ve loved since “Buffy”. He is a phenomenal actor and who knew he could bring the laughs so well? His expressions were classic. Clueless angel indeed. Amenadiel could have been very one-dimensional but because of Woodside’s talent he became fully fleshed out and full bodied.

I have no doubt Lesley-Ann Brandt has a huge career in front of her. She took a character that very well could have been hated, a demon and made her into one of the most human characters on the show. Kudos to her for taking a tough role and making it her own.

Kevin Alejandro is another actor I’ve loved for a long time. He also took a character who if we’re going to be honest here did so many unlikeable things that he should have been truly despised but because of Kevin’s portrayal he was beloved. Great actor and a terrific director.

Rachael Harris IMO is the downlow MVP. She was literally the rock and again, with a lesser actress the role could have been a throwaway. The normal human, the sounding board but Harris imbued her with so much more. Her spit takes, sarcasm and her obvious compassion was what made Dr. Linda an unforgettable character. Once again just perfect casting.

Aimee Garcia was a great addition. She made Ella a fan fav and put so much heart, joy and sincerity into Ella never once did you doubt that she would prevail no matter what was thrown at her. Garcia was just fantastic, and I want her skin care regime.

Scarlett Estevez pulled off the one thing I thought almost impossible. She took the role of a young child and made it so I didn’t want to cringe. She portrayed Trixie so beautifully from day one that she was a true pleasure to watch. Even though Trixie was super precocious Estevez never made her obnoxious. I loved Trixie and I have never said that about any child character in an adult show. She was wonderful and has an amazing career in front of her.

That said, I’ve got some feelings now that I’ve seen the finale and have had some time to digest it all. I love that Chloe and Lucifer had eternity and I agree that they had to be separated for Chloe’s lifetime. Didn’t like it but it’s the logical path. She’s human, he’s not. The ageing thing alone necessitated them not being together long term on earth and that’s just to start the list. They had to had to be apart for the short term to get their eternity but the duality of Lucifer's ending and Amenadiel's didn't sit right. Amenadiel as God got to have it all. His calling, his family etc. while Lucifer had to give up everything. I also don’t buy the “If he came up from hell, he could never leave them again” defense. I call bullshit. Amenadiel managed, plus, missing out on the day to day is a huge sacrifice and by Lucifer missing out on the day-to-day Rory could still have had the hatred she needed to drive the story. Popping in for birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc., the big stuff does not a father make. Not being there for skinned knees, first heartbreaks, and all the little things a daughter needs her dad for can build up tons of resentment. Boom, absentee father, just like his dad was. That provides all the millennial angel angst you could ask for. I have a daughter; it doesn’t take much.

The Trixie issue was huge for me. Can Chloe see her in Heaven? Will she be able to travel to Heaven and visit Trixie, Penelope, Dan, her father? Chloe hesitated leaving Heaven in 5x16 because she couldn’t bear saying good-bye to her dad again. It seems as if Chloe sacrificed everything for Rory including Trixie. I want to preface this by saying. I liked Rory and loved the actress. I didn’t however like how it was as if she were their only child. When Lucifer spoke of family Trixie was not mentioned. Their family day, the same thing. She didn’t need to be there, I get that the explanation regarding Rory would have been way too much to get into but just a mention of her, how awesome it would have been to share this day with her would have worked. It seemed as if Lucifer went from, “I would do anything to protect that little Urchin” to “Trixie who”. Trixie was a character that we watched grow up and she meant something to us. I hate to say this, but the writers did Trixie and the viewers dirty in this regard.

This show was built around a few premises. Free will, honesty, redemption, sacrifice and family, both blood and made. The ending completely negated almost all of these. Chloe and their entire family were made into the one thing Lucifer abhorred the most which are liars. Their daughter was brought up surrounded by lies. What did they tell Trixie? The poor kid just lost her dad, and she was pissed at Lucifer when he went back to hell the first time. Did she grow up hating him because as far as she knew Lucifer left her mom again without saying good-bye and this time it was even worse because Chloe was pregnant. I get that the actress who plays Trixie had limited availability but seriously. A quick good-bye.

“Hey Urchin, you won’t understand why for a long time, but I have to leave. You know I never lie so I can’t explain why but know that I love you and your mom and one day I hope you can forgive me.”

A 30 second scene would have worked.

As all the characters learned throughout the series, omission of the truth is just a form of lying and there are always repercussions i.e., Chloe and Father Kinley, Dan shooting Lucifer, Maze finding out about Lilith and even Ella not being told. As far as free will, both Chloe and Lucifer had their free will taken from them in the end. By Rory forcing them to abide by her wishes, their free will was forfeited. It was a huge manipulation on Rory’s part and considering how much Lucifer hated manipulations it just didn’t sit right.

Parents making huge sacrifices I get. Chloe and Lucifer sacrificed everything for their child. Unfortunately for me this sacrifice, the way it was written seemed contrived to pull out maximum and IMO unjustified angst. I love angst. Hell, this is my favorite show. I thrive on the angst. But as I wrote earlier, all the anger, angst and hatred towards Lucifer could have been achieved without having Lucifer completely out of the picture. I have two kids and my husband, and I have made huge life altering sacrifices for them as many parents do but being there for the day-to-day little things was what made the difference in their lives and cemented the close relationships we have with them.

“Yeah, dad you were great. Showing up for the fun stuff, always swooping in for the big finish to play the hero then ditching us when things got tough. When Grandma was dying where were you? Nice that you showed up for the funeral but the six months leading up to it…we needed you and once again you weren’t there. When T got sick, when Jen broke my heart, blah, blah, blah…”

Even the whole Chloe dying scenario. They could have written it that rage Rory traveled minutes before Lucifer got there. Have him pop in right after Rory comes back. There were so many ways to achieve the end game they wanted other than the way they went. It seemed contrived and as if they took the easy way out to get where they needed to go. The Rory rage that was the catalyst for her traveling back in time and Lucifer finding his calling could still have been accomplished without the whole Lucifer disappearing storyline.

Now that I’ve finished my diatribe there’s a couple of additional things I would like to say. Lucifer is and always will be one of my favorite shows of all time. There are not enough words to describe the comfort and enjoyment this show has brought me. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the producers, cast and crew. You truly created something special.

To the fandom. Please do not let a polarizing conclusion rip apart the fandom. The only other fandom I was a part of tore itself apart so badly that the FBI got involved. Hence why I waited for 15 years to dip my toe in again. Everyone invested in this show has the right to their feelings. Debate is fine, baiting and bullying are not. The Lucifer fandom like the show is very special. Without the fandom we wouldn’t have gotten any conclusion so don’t let opposing viewpoints tarnish what has been a magical journey.

#lucifer #season6 #spoilers #lucifer spoilers #lucifer season6 spoilers #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #trixie espinoza #rory morningstar #luciferseason6 #tom ellis #lauren german #db woodside #lesley-ann brandt #rachael harris #kevin alejandro #scarlett estevez #brianna hildebrand

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stagefoureddiediaz · 2 years

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A question about costuming, would pre-production be where it's discussed what colors work on what characters, and does that affect picking color themes? And how does that work when someone new joins the cast after the color themes have been established? For example, your post about seeing Eddie in yellow for communication. We saw a glimpse in the crossover, but I cannot imagine Eddie owning a yellow shirt or jacket for personal use. And some colors will wash out a character, or clash with their skintone or hair color, so I'm curious if that can affect what colors they use, or if they end up having to go against their planned color themes.

Hey Nonnie

I love getting these asks, so its great to hear from you and thank you for popping into my inbox. I know as well as you being interested in what I’m going to say, there are others who will also be interested, so I’ve tagged them at the bottom (maybe you’re one of them who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️😎 thats the thrill of the anonymous button!)

What great questions and the simple answers to all of them is yes and no, but fear not - I've never been one to give simple answers to anything 😆so settle in because as usual I have written a mammoth essay as my answer - I didn’t realise how complicated it actually is to explain with actual words because so much of the colour theory and pattern theory I know and have explored has almost become second nature to me - I do it without actually thinking about it!! The reason I say yes and no is because of a variety of things, including if an actor has been cast for a role when these things are decided! (putting the rest below the cut to save everyones dash’s!)

We should establish that not all shows will go quite as deep into colour theory and storytelling through costume, colour and pattern in the way 911 has. It has generally (but not exclusively) been something done in the fantasy and sci-fi genres, but not so much in the action, drama and comedy genres, so its great to see that changing, because its such a simple but effective technique and its a real mark of 911 having such a collaborative wider creative team that they've been able to establish it to the extent they have - set, costume, lighting etc must really be talking to one another in a really productive and frequent manner!

I think the best way to answer all your questions is to talk about pre-production in a lot more detail. I will start with a disclaimer - not all pre-production periods are the same, different companies do things differently and my experience has been in British tv and film, so there may be a few things we do over here that aren’t done in the USA (although from the friends I’ve spoken to who have worked stateside, its not all that different!) To make this easier, lets assume (like in my costume plot post) I’ve been hired as the costume designer for 911 - and while I don’t know exactly what went on in pre-production, this is more detail on what I would expect to experience as a designer!

If I had to, I would guess that preproduction was probably 2-3 months for series 1 of 911 (less for season 2 onwards!). In this 3 month period, I would expect there to be a minimum of 1 full creative team meeting per week initially,(there will be smaller meetings between various departments such as set and costume, I would expect each creative department to have meetings with the writers and producers etc) with them becoming more frequent in the middle period (perhaps up to 4 a week) and then tailing back down to 1 or so as they move towards production. These meetings can be anything from an hour long to full day meetings, depending how far into pre-production they are, what it is they need to achieve in the meeting and a host of other factors.

While these meetings are taking place there is a variety of other things happening within each department, from hiring crew to getting in supplies and setting up your department, and, as you move further into pre-production, sourcing and buying costumes, making costumes, breaking down costumes where you can etc. but lets go back to the meetings as they’re the important thing in regards to your questions!

Initially (and I mean right at the very beginning of pre-production) there will be a meeting where the show creator, along with the writers will explain the world the show is set in, talk through the plans for the season and introduce the creative team to the characters, outline specific sets that will be needed (the 118 firehouse, the Grant house, Abbys apartment etc and I think for 911 they used different set designers for different characters personal spaces which is a great way of creating unique looks for each characters world within the 911verse) and possibly for 911 talk through the various disasters planned of the season and how they fit into the bigger picture and the various arcs for the characters and how they all intertwine - these wont necessarily be fleshed out at this point, just basic information such as “we’re planning on having an accident where a rollercoaster gets stuck upside down, a large plane crash which will take up a whole episode, a floor collapse at a wedding, a variety of traffic accidents, some hoarders becoming stuck in their house and a variety of medical emergencies including multiple women going into labour at the same time” etc etc.

This meeting is usually the first time all the creative departments are in the same room together, but its much more an information gathering session than a detailed discussion - of course everyone will ask questions and there will be lots of note taking, but none of the creative departments will be expected to have any solid ideas at this point - it is very much an opportunity to start the thinking process that will lead to the end result of a cohesive look for the world of the show and those who occupy it. I would as a designer be asking about if there is a desire to telegraph information through costumes (the set designer will want to know the same in relation to sets) and if they have any specific preferences at this point, or if they are happy for me to go away and come up with ideas.

After this initial meeting I will be going away and starting to formulate so ideas. I will be researching uniforms for the various first responders - so police, fire, dispatch etc, as well as starting to think about the possibility of theming (what later on becomes plaid theory etc) but I won’t be at colour theory stage at this point.

In the couple of days after that initial world setting meeting, there will be a specific meeting for each character, where they are the only person discussed, I would expect these to be anywhere up to a full day long for mains, but less for recurring and guest characters (up to half a day depending on the role). These ‘Character meetings’ will comprise of all relevant departments, so set, costume, the show creator/ runner, writers (perhaps just the lead writer), producers, a director (or more but this can depend on availability and also not wanting to have too many cooks so to speak!) and anyone else who might be needed. There will be someone from the producers office taking notes/minutes, but as a costume designer, I will be bringing my assistant designer with me as well as someone who can take costume specific notes for me. this is when we as designers will be given detail on the character - the description (see the fake one I created below for Buck), the opportunity to ask questions about them and what the show creators see as important etc. for them - I will be asking questions based on what I’ve read in the descriptor and maybe throwing a few ideas out (this may very well encompass colour and pattern theories, but I wouldn’t be going into much depth beyond an initial suggestion of it being useful to explain character traits.

Very often, pre-production has begun before casting is established or finalised. As a costume designer I would have to follow a slightly more generic pattern if I don't yet know who is has been cast in the various roles. On the productions I've worked on I've experienced both the knowing and not knowing and it is usual for it to be a combination of some roles being cast, while others are still in the process. I'm thinking 911 would've been in this situation - Angela and Peter as executive producers would definitely have signed on, while Connie, Kenneth and Aisha were most probably signed on, but people such as Oliver, Tracie, Corrine, Marcanthonee etc may not yet have been cast.

Onto that character descriptor - it will outline any season long arcs (which will include how they’re going to play out) and other important information. This is done because at the point pre-production actually starts there may only be 1 or 2 completed scripts to work from and, if as a creative team we do want to start using set and costume (especially but not exclusively) to subtly telegraph information we will need to know where everything is going so we can create the mood boards etc which will lead to the set and costumes we see on the show.

It will be a fair bit more detailed than what I’ve created below, (possibly up to a side of a4 for each character, maybe in bullet points - writing teams will have their own way of doing this), but it will give you an idea of what sort of thing designers work with. Even from this brief description I've just made up, there are a number of things you can pull out to work with if you're in set or costume design!

Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley

26 year old, probationary firefighter, goes by the nickname ‘Buck’. He has landed in LA from Pennsylvania after traveling around the USA and abroad (South America)for a few years . A bit of an action man, Buck has all the physical makings and courage of a great firefighter, but his somewhat hotheaded tendencies to rush in and worry about the consequences later, means he causes himself problems but he is always well intentioned and if he can learn some discipline he will become a real asset to the 118 and to Bobby, who he views as a father figure. We will experience the highs and lows of what it means to be a first responder with Buck, from the daring rescues to the lows of losing the people they’re trying to save, all of these experiences will provide opportunities for Buck to grow and mature both as a person and as a firefighter.

He lives in a house with several others of similar ages at the beginning of the series, but by the end of the series will be living in Abbys apartment. Initially a bit of a player, we will see him having sex with a multitude of people (man I'd love to get my hands on the real version of Bucks Character description to see if it said people or women!!!) including his therapist, before he develops a relationship with Abby. This relationship will have its ups and downs before ultimately Abby leaves in the last episode of the season to travel to Ireland.

With all these initial meetings done, and now armed with lots of information, there will probably be a week to 10 days where I can get the ball rolling on research, getting mood boards and design ideas done, ready for the next round of meetings. Along side this I will be completing the hiring of my costume team, meeting and measuring the cast who are already in place, I might have a meeting or two with the set designer and I might go back to the show creator if any important questions come up as I dive deeper into each character.

This is the stage when all those little ideas about colour theory and pattern theory will start to geminate and come into play. At this stage they will be largely focused on characters rather than over arching themes (like plaid theory) - they will develop into this as we move further into the pre-production process and have more meetings to discuss it as part of the world building for the show as a whole.

If we continue to follow the character of Buck and assume I don't yet know Oliver has been cast, I would go into the second character meeting to discuss Buck with a wide range of ideas about what I've been thinking in terms of costumes. (obviously I won’t be designing Buck in isolation - the same process will be happening simultaneously with all the other mains and this is in part how as a designer we ensure we’re not going to end up with too much of something such as patterns or colour). So if we look back to the fake mini descriptor above, there are several things I can pull out to make use of as a costume designer;

- He's 26 because thats going to influence his style (and the shops I'm going to be looking in for his clothing).

- Firefighter = fit, so it’ll be a fair assumption that the intention is to cast him as eye candy for the audience (in fact I may have been told or asked this in that initial meeting about him!)!

- That he's travelled a fair bit - and recently - this will mean he’s not necessarily settled into life in LA and will therefore be likely to have a relatively small wardrobe - he’s not going have a huge number of clothing items (think capsule wardrobe) initially because he’s not someone with roots or stability in his home life at this point.

- He's a player who's going to mature - I'm going to be thinking about how I can show this developing maturity through his clothing choices (something that was done with Buck in S1 if you look in the right places!)

- We’re going to be exploring the emotional ups and downs that come with being a first responder through him so I will possibly be thinking patterns and potentially colour might be a way forward here, but nothing too specific initially.

The one colour thought I'll be having at this point is related to the fact that he's been described as hotheaded, this can be interpreted in a number of ways - either by using lots of black and leather etc which will give him a sort of rebellious/ punk look, or going for bolder more intense colours (especially in the red spectrum) which can be used to push this side of his personality, at the right moments, but this is dependent on if we have an actor who can wear those colours.

From these initial thoughts I would start to pull some imagery together -creating mood boards that explore different aspects of what I've gleaned from the descriptor, I will include firefighter uniforms as well as separate boards for shoes, trousers and tops alongside whole look mood boards (its a bit difficult to explain the full detail that will be in these mood boards look like without creating one, and I just don’t have time to do that, but there will be lots of reference pictures, and notes, some design drawings etc.) I would also be looking to show how the costumes visually explain his development - don’t forget we will have that first (at least) script to work from, So I can use this to show concepts his first episode and build development from there I might have specific silhouettes in mind for specific moments and these are what I'd be taking into that first character meeting for Buck. I will present them, and talk through my initial thinking, the other departments will do the same and then the fun begins!

Once all the presentations are done the meeting will become something similar to a round table discussion, lead by the show lead, which will allow Buck and the world he inhabits to be discussed as a whole. Some ideas will be thrown out from the get go - so the lots of black - rebellious concept will probably fall at this point because the show creator will come forward and say that they want a much more clean cut ‘frat boy’ image - although a little nod to it does appear in ep 9 with the failed hot air balloon date! There will be lots of back and forth, and by the end of this meeting a full direction will have been established and this will likely include decisions of whether or not to use patterns and colour theory, and when - if its only going to be for certain incidents such as at moments of specific heightened emotions, or if its going to be something used throughout in all its variety - It will not be a complete concept at this point - there is still further fleshing out to do.

Once I know Oliver has been cast I can really start firming up my ideas. Because I now know what he looks like, I can start to make some colour decisions - So I know Oliver will look washed out in pastels and pale colours (he is also someone who needs to be careful about the shades of green he wears!), but good in more bold and jewel toned colours, so thats the direction I will be taking. I will be arranging for him to come in for measurements etc. One of the things I like to establish at the measurements meeting is around textures and fibres - As someone with ASD and ADHD, there are certain clothes I just can't wear because the texture will irritate me and could potentially cause me a meltdown, so I like to establish if an actor has any similar concerns and how exactly it manifests itself if they do - for Oliver this is likely to have revolved around his veganism and if he wont wear animal byproduct fabrics (I don’t know to what extent he is vegan, he might deem wool to be acceptable as no harm comes to sheep in the shearing process, but not silk or leather as the animal has to die for them to be made I also don’t think he was vegan during season 1 but when he did become vegan the conversation with costume would’ve been had!).

At this point I will take the opportunity to sit down and have a chat with him about his character. Its a great time to get to know him as a person - I want to see what type of person I'm going to be working with, establish a few ground rules about costume care etc, but I also want to build a relationship with him that enables his insight into his character to come out in his costumes (because the conversations he'll be having with writers, producers and directors will be different to mine). I will be taking copious notes, and I want but its also important to make sure the actor knows that while I will take what they say into consideration, my word is final. I will say from the bts stuff I’ve seen - Oliver seems like a pretty good actor to work with - he’s clearly interested in all aspects of his craft and the bts we saw of him in the various cowboy get ups suggest he’s happy exploring his character alongside Alayna (the costume designer S3 onwards) and having input in a way that is super rewarding for a designer!

All sorts of things can come from these initial chats, from mutually deciding that Buck isn't someone who wears jewellery, to deciding he's not big on wearing jeans, he's more of a chino's person because it allows him to have more colour variety in his wardrobe (honestly I've had some amazing stuff come out of conversations I've had with actors including one where we decided a character would only wear 3/4 length or short sleeves because it was a low key way of showing her as someone who was always willing to roll her sleeves up and help out - even to her own detriment - I even went so far as to design her outfits so the sleeves had cuffs, turn-ups or gathers to pus this idea a little further).

Its kind of a rinse and repeat thing with the meetings at this point, they probably won’t last as long as earlier in pre-production, but they are check points that allow discussion and ensure cohesion with the other departments and it is during this time that decisions around things like plaid becoming a signifier for a character being in jeopardy etc or Buck in white shirts meaning trouble will occur (although I am inclined to thing this was initially accidental and they decided to run with it in S2 Pre-production), Christopher and the space and dinosaur themes and their significance will come about.

Once you know your cast, then you can get busy with the buying and making and really nail the colour choices. My various plot spreadsheets will be in place by this point for any episodes where I have a script to work from, so I will be gaining an idea of what I’m going to be needing. Uniforms will be purchased in bulk (especially fire fighter uniforms) for each character and these will be fitted and stored, with the ones for ep 1 on the character episode rack ready to go.

I think I explained in my costume plot post that I’d be sending my buyer out to buy things in several colours if I hadn’t established a specific colour or pattern need by this point, because an aesthetic will have been agreed, but I’ll still be in discussions and be firming up colour theory decisions. I will also want to have as much costume in place as its possible to have before production starts (especially for episode 1) and things like jeans/trousers are easy to get hold of and swap if needed. another thing to think about when it comes to colour is that you may have ideas about colours, and while you know a colour will work with an actors skin tone etc, it doesn’t work

My personal preference is to create a mini colour palette for each character - I do this to ensure there isn’t too much of one colour appearing across the show at any one time (unless its been decided that it should), that any colours I’m using work tonally with the actors skin tone etc but also because its a easy quick reference to work to as full production begins. Its also when I will start to change colours around in my designs a bit - scripts will influence this to an extent as the things that have come out of the character discussions. so if we stick with Buck and some of his non uniform costumes in season 1, I can show how both colour and pattern theory is used across the season to highlight at important moments.

Episode 1 - he has the grey jumper, jeans and brown shoes - the grey jumper is an easy colour choice - its a neutral, so will work on pretty much any skin tone, but its an important colour choice for this episode - we see him in it when he has been fired - grey is also associated with a few different things in its neutrality - gloom (think gloomy grey skies) and depression, frustration, indecisiveness, but also intellect and wisdom it is the middle ground between the opposite ends of the colour spectrum - black and white. All of these things speak of Buck while he’s wearing it in this episode - he’s gloomy because he’s lost his job, frustrated with Bobby and at himself for his stupidity, but he also shows intelligence and wisdom later on - using the water canon to catch the criminal etc and he and Bobby come reach the middle ground together when Bobby un-fires him.

Episode 2 - plaid theory comes into play big time for Buck in this episode - we see the subtle use of it with the black on black plaid shirt at Devons funeral before a full on display of it with the red shirt at the therapists office - obviously hindsight is a wonderful thing for us as viewers now, but that shirt is so loud - its a double beacon to danger because its only episode 2 and we won’t be picking up on subtly yet - we have plaid and the universal colour for danger - red - and paired up with jeans with torn knees - Buck is really cut up by losing his first person on the job and his position with the 118 is still tenuous after his antics in ep1 so as a designer I don’t want to be too subtle here - I want to make all of this obvious. Most of the audience won’t notice on a conscious level, but we won’t see buck in plaid again until he’s at the airport saying goodbye to Abby - something I as designer will have chosen to do deliberately to make it hit harder when we do see Buck in patterns and this will stay subconsciously with the audience in future seasons.

Episode 10 - this is an interesting episode to me, because its the only time we see buck in a khaki shade of green (he does wear other greens occasionally - in s2 and 3, but not Khaki!) and its when he is fighting for his relationship! He is in a khaki green sweater when Abby about the girls who think he’ been ghosting them. This episode also features white shirt plaid theories again - at the funeral (which is the moment that signals the beginning of the end for his relationship with Abby) for Patricia Buck has on a white shirt and then at the airport when he is seeing Abby off on her European adventure, he is in plaid!

Hopefully this is all making sense! basically from this point on meetings and discussions are still happening, but everything is moving towards going into full production - costumes are being confirmed and logged for each character, as soon as the details for extras are known, they will be giving information on what to bring (wardrobe will have stock in for if they don’t bring anything suitable, but usually for modern stuff they’ll be asked to provide their own clothes with a bit of guidance on what is wanted/ not wanted!) and as much as can be done before the filming begins will be done. All of this will still be going on in the background once filming has commenced, because you will still be getting scripts for future episodes etc. The life of a costume designer is one of being able to multitask to the max!

Nonnie, in relation to what you said about the specifics of Eddie and yellow, I genuinely don’t think we’re going to see him ever wear yellow, it would go against the colour palette they’ve established for him and it would be jarring (and not in a good way) so instead conversations will have been had around how they can use the colour in relation to him without actually needing him to wear it and they’ve come up with a variety of clever solutions! With Eddie, this actually works well - he’s not a character who communicates a lot in the way others do, so there are relatively few scenarios when he’d need to be put into yellow and as designer I’m going to get clever!! If we think about when Eddie has needed to communicate, there are a few scenarios that immediately spring to my mind (i’m sure there are others but this post is already insanely long!).

Rope rescue. The first time we see a coloured rope actively in use in the show is the yellow one Eddie is using in the well rescue of 3x15 - the one he cuts 👀its communication, but just not necessarily how we’d expect communication - he’s cutting communication (which is just as loud as having a conversation).

Shannon wants a divorce - this one is a bit tenuous, but bear with me - Shannon is in a black dress with yellow stars on - yellow stars made up of two different yellows - Eddie tries to communicate with Shannon here, but she also wants to communicate and her communication ultimately trumps Eddie which is why we see her being the one in something yellow, but the use of two yellows is a subtle reference to the both of them communicating.

Shannons death - this one is also a bit tenuous, but interesting! Again Shannon is the one in yellow, and ultimately she is the one communicating, even though she’s dying (interestingly the only blood we see on her is on her right shoulder and its made obvious - the same side as we see Eddies blood on Buck!!) and after she’s dead and Eddie has to tell Christopher - Abeula’s house is yellow and then Eddie on the beach - that is a very yellow sunset.

will conversation - Buck is the one in yellow here, Eddies communicating in that he’s the one doing the talking, but he’s only revealing the change to his will because of Bucks communication earlier that it ‘would’ve been better if he’d been shot’ - we’d all still be ignorant of Eddies actions if it wasn’t for something Buck said - Eddie wouldn’t have felt the need to communicate!

Ana breakup - this one is two fold - We see Buck in yellow (mustard) in the locker room when Eddie basically confirms that he’s thought on what Buck said and he’s going to break up with Ana - Buck was the one who did the communicating earlier on, Eddie only confirms that he’s listened to Buck, yes Eddie did communicate, but only because Buck forced him into it (again!). Then when he gets home and actively breaks up with Ana - it is Christopher (his heart) who is wearing yellow at that moment - Eddie is being true to his heart and although it might initially be an unhappy event for Christopher (although we never get to see his reaction) it is ultimately in his best interests for his father to not be in a relationship where he’s making himself unhappy etc.

I’m leaving the 118. yellow background in 5x10 which I mentioned in a previous post - again this is Eddie communicating something, but its not really a decision he’s made for himself - all the factors that have led him to this decision that he has to communicate to his friends, are ones external to himself - Christopher and his built up repressed trauma. He’s ultimately not communicating for himself, but for others - Christopher, Carla (because she did play a fairly big part in him making this decision and thats a hill I will die on) and the 118!

So you see all of the times we’ve seen Eddie communicate, it has never been something he has chosen to do for himself, in the way it has for others, (except when he chose to cut the yellow line in 3x15) - it is something he has been pushed into by either circumstance or the actions of others and this is something a designer can use to get around the need to put him in yellow when it would go against the established colour palette

In fact the whole thing with Eddie and the colour yellow being worn by others around him is interesting 🤔, I’m going to have to look at it further and write a meta on it (so stay tuned!) 👀

Gosh this really did end up being a mile longer than i’d intended. Nonnie I hope you’ve made it though and that it answered your questions!! 😬I hope everyone else has made it to the end as well I give you all bear hugs if you have

Tagged peeps! @theladyyavilee @moniquekatie @pasteldeathaesthetic @lovecolibri @oneawkwardcookie @leothil @wanderingwomanwondering @reallysmartladymariecurie @livingwherethesidewalkends @followyouthroughfire @farrfromwhoiwas

If I’ve forgotten anyone I’m sorry 🥺 and if anyone would like to be tagged in the future, drop me a message and I’ll create a list 😎

As always I love hearing from you with your questions, costume or otherwise and my inbox is always open. like, reblog and comment to let me know your thoughts, I love hearing them all, in the tags or otherwise!

💜💜💜

#kym answers things #more costume stuff!#costume design #pre-production #long post #911 #911 on fox #costume theory #colour theory #plaid theory #costume #buck #eddie #911 costuming

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booksinsteadofdrugs · 3 years

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the cast of shadow and bone. was. perfect.

alina was straight out of the books. jessie portrayed her stubbornness, naivety, and confusion incredibly. from the way she denied her power at first, to the moment where she took it back from the darkling and claimed it hers. jessie mei li is the sun summoner, and we couldn't have asked for a better one.

malyen was even better than the malyen we've seen in the books. archie did a fantastic job with the character (he needs to be praised more considering his character is one of the most unnecessarily hated characters of all time and he was given hard time by some fans from the moment he was cast for the show). he was brave, loyal and charming the whole time. they added depth to his character with those keramzin flashbacks and both jessie and archie turned malina's bond into something more pure and more sweet. archie's acting was also one of the highlights of this show for me. he was just perfect.

i believe ben barnes was born to play the darkling, and no. i'm not being dramatic. he's captured the darkling's intimidating, manipulating yet charming nature so well. he wasn't just trying to manipulate alina, he was also manipulating the audience to think he is just a misunderstood man, paying the price of his ancestors' crimes. he was the best casting choice i've seen in a long time. the fact that he's older than anyone in the cast adds more layer to the darkling's image, i believe. in every scene he screams authority. from his posture to the way he's spitting out the words, we can see that ben has been working hard on this character. and personally, i'm so grateful for that.

the crows. they. were. incredible. i have no words. amita suman is literally the inej that everyone imagined while reading the books. she managed to capture every little detail about inej. especially seeing how her faith was affecting her decisions when it comes to killing was amazing. and the way she didn't hesitate to kill when kaz was in danger. and her admiration for alina. god, i just love inej so much. freddie did a spectacular job with kaz. he was incredible. i remember seeing inej and jesper flinching and turning their heads when alexei was shot, but kaz stood their like a statue, not moving an inch. without blinking. because he already knew what was gonna happen. also, i loved how he constantly denied believing alina was a saint until he finally did, and it was for inej. the way freddie always watched amita in scenes, always making sure she's nearby made me smile like an idiot. he had a purpose in every scene, he was never just standing there for show. that's the kaz brekker we know. he always has a plan and freddie portrayed kaz's confidence, his cunning nature and his faith in his crew so well. jesper was incredible. i could feel how much love kit has for his character from the way he played with his guns to the way he walked, he was literally just having fun with his character. i loved how tense he looked in ravka sometimes, not forgetting his character's abilities. he portrayed jesper's playful nature amazingly and it was a delight seeing him in this character. he made me laugh countless times throughout the season, and i can't wait to see more of him (especially with wylan) god, i love him so much.

nina and matthias. their chemistry. dude. i can't even speak. i feel like all the people who complained about danielle not fitting the nina image they had in their mind owe danielle an apology. because she was just perfect. i know i've used this word so many times but there's honestly no other way to describe it. danielle and calahan were literally shining together. the sexual tension was so tense. they were impeccable and netflix, i'm begging you, please give them more scenes in the next season. they made me scream, they made me laugh, and they made me cry. calahan portrayed matthias's superstitious and innocent personality so great. and the way nina was constantly flirting with him to make him embarrassed, they were literally the book helnik. i love them so much.

zoya. my queen. i wasn't expecting her to have this much screentime anf i was scared they were going to use her as a background character since she didn't have much part in the first book but wow, sujaya made sure to steal every scene she was in. she was always fierce, ambitious and gorgeous the whole time. you just can't stop yourself from adoring her. and she portrayed zoya's character development so beautifully. especially in the last scenes. i can't wait to see her more in the next season, especially with nikolai. c'mon netflix, speed things up if you have to. i want to see them together.

genya and david were great too. especially in the scene where we see genya with her new kefta gave me chills. knowing what she had to do to get it was intense. daisy was great as genya, her movements were always elegant, and we could sense the injustice that happened to her considering the few scenes she was in, especially without being explained clearly. luke pasqualino is a comedic genius. i loved seeing his awkward yet adorable david portrayal so much. especially his uncomfortable silence after genya says "see you at the fete". his uncertain movements and the way he raised his finger before speaking was hilarious. i loved their stolen glances at the winter fete. i need more of them, like, right now.

and also i wanna thank the writers for making ivan and fedyor gay. they were the couple i didn't know i need it. the way fedyor was feeding him was so cute. it even made me feel bad for ivan at the end when jesper shot him, although i didn't care for him in the books at all.

long story short, this cast made the characters even more likeable than the books. which is so rare considering all the horrible book to screen adaptations. they were all perfect. and they earned my gratitude for taking time to read the books, and do their job so well.

they did justice to leigh's work and i can't be more proud.

#shadow and bone spoilers #shadow and bone cast #jessie mei li #archie renaux #ben barnes #amita suman #freddie carter #kit young #sujaya dasgupta #danielle galligan #calahan skogman #daisy head #luke pasqualino #julian kostov #simon sears

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trashforhockeyguys · 3 years

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Vienna Waits For You -1- William Nylander

A/N: The official start of Vienna Waits For You! I can’t wait for you guys to really get to understand William and Avalyn. This is probably the most unique story I’ve told so far. I hope y’all will enjoy the ride.

“Miss Bradshaw Kreitzburg, we can’t begin to explain how excited we are to have you here with us,” One of the Assistant Directors said as she was led into a posh hotel.

“Just Kreitzburg is fine, or Avalyn,” She cringed, hating it when people used the full name that her parents insisted on.

“There she is!” A loud voice boomed from the doorway of a very large conference room.

Avalyn couldn’t help but smile and nearly squeal as she ran to the man. Jackson Portland was one of the only people that she felt like really knew her. They’d been best friends since they first worked together in the early years. Back then, Jackson was an awkward lanky kid, not the bonafide sex god that he was now. Truthfully, Avalyn wanted to laugh every time girls literally threw themselves at him. To her he would always be Jacky, her best friend.

“You made it!” She jumped in his arms, holding onto him for dear life.

Jackson was like her life vest. She wasn’t sure she would’ve been able to do something like this without knowing he would be by her side the entire time. She trusted him with everything that she was. He’d been the one to call her about the role and tell her that she’d be perfect for it.

“And so did you! God you look fantastic Avey. But you really could eat a little more. Do the Monsters have you on another diet?”

“They wanted me to be on one,” She confirmed, “But none of them are here...soo I guess I’m not anymore?”

“Then you and I are going to burgers whenever this is over,” He declared, setting her down.

She nodded excitedly. Going out with Jackson was always her favorite. Somehow they always found a way to just be normal twentysomethings. Jackson and Avalyn made each other feel almost normal for the first time in their lives. Seemed only fitting that the two of them didn’t want to let that go.

“Have you scoped out our ‘advisors’?” Avalyn asked, holding onto Jackson’s arm.

He shrugged, flashing his famous dimpled smile, “Oh you’ll love them.”

Inside the room, most of the younger Leafs were somewhat huddled together, keeping their distance until told to do otherwise. But some of the older, more experienced players were talking with some writers and producers from the project.

Avalyn tried to calm her nerves, her grip on Jackson’s arm tightening with every step. She hated meetings like this. She didn’t know a single player on this team, hell she didn’t even know a thing about hockey. She knew that they probably all had their own preconceived opinions of her, none of which were good. Just like how nothing the media published these days was good. Good for press, but bad for her personal life. For once, she wished she could just pause it all.

Some of her friends from childhood, which she lost contact with long ago, went to college and are in steady relationships. None of them have their entire life looked over with a magnifying glass. They could wear what they wanted, or eat what they wanted, go out with whoever they wanted wherever they wanted...Avalyn never had that luxury. But she couldn’t say she was jealous of them...envious might be a better term to use though.

“Alright boys, listen up!” An older man in the team’s jacket called, “I want you to listen to what they instruct you. Remember, you’re representing the organization and Toronto.”

“Thank you for that Coach Babcock,” One of the show’s producers said before standing in front of everyone, “We’d like for all of you to pair up in a few minutes, but before we do that, why don’t all of you take a second and get to know each other. Get all of the awkwardness out of the way so we can all get to work? Gentleman, at each table is a dry erase board with a rink on it, I was told that’s what you all use in practice to show plays and things, feel free to do the same today. We’ll call you all when it’s time to come back together.”

Avalyn didn’t move for a moment, not as long as Jackson stayed where he was. But it wasn’t long before the producer was coming over with the other man, who seemed to be the coach of the hockey team. Behind them trailed several young men, which Avalyn could only assume were players. Jackson nearly jumped, seemingly excited about who was coming over to them.

“Coach Babcock, these are the two I was telling you about,” Eric, the producer, looked proud of himself, “These two are the stars of our show, Jackson, Avalyn, I’d like for you to meet Mike Babcock, coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs, as well as three of his star players, Auston Matthews, Mitch Marner, and William Nylander.”

“You don’t have to tell me who they are, Eric,” Jackson waved him off before extending a hand to the coach, “It’s an honor to meet all of you. You guys had a hell of a season last year.”

“Jackson grew up in Connecticut prior to becoming an actor, he’s one of the only cast members with hockey experience.”

“Sick man, I love that movie you were in last summer with Taylor Kitsch. Shit was badass,” The one with dark hair and blue eyes said.

Avalyn couldn’t remember who was who. All she knew was one had long blond hair, and two with dark hair. She used to joke that all hockey players looked the same when Jackson would try to make her watch games, but she couldn’t say that anymore. No two players in the room looked alike.

“See, I told you Avey!” Jackson joked, “She said there was too much blood. I tried to get her to watch American Assassin with me, since O’Brien and Kitsch are such great guys, but she wouldn’t.”

Avalyn felt uncomfortable in her own skin. She hated moments like this. Jackson always seemed to be in his element and on his game. But Avalyn wasn’t comfortable with these people. She didn’t watch hockey, all she really knew was that they constantly hit each other and fought over the tiny rubber puck.

But Jackson just seemed to fit right in with them. Almost like he was a member of the team and had been for a very long time. She was jealous of the fact that he always seemed to make it work. He was never a stranger. Whereas Avalyn always felt like a stranger. She often felt like she was playing dress-up all the time, and eventually someone would call her out on it.

“Thanks for making fun of me again,” Avalyn said under her breath, “It’s nice to meet you guys.”

“So, what are you? The token romantic interest?” The blond quipped.

“Willy-”

“No I uh-” She couldn’t really find her voice. She should’ve been used to people assuming she was only there to further the story. She was just pretty face, meant to smile and just be pretty.

Maybe that was part of the reason she took this role...she wanted to prove she was more than that. Yet, she couldn’t even find a way to tell the man standing in front of her the very same thing that she was fighting to prove.

“Actually, Avey is playing the only girl on the team. She’s pretty important actually,” Jackson cut in, “Pretty badass too.”

“Avalyn, we’d like you to pair with Willy, if the rest of you want to come over with me we’ll get you all sorted,” Eric suddenly interrupted, “You two can go over to that table over there.”

Suddenly, she was left with the blond that obviously didn’t exactly like her. Avalyn wasn’t uncustomed to it. A lot of people were standoffish with her at first, the sugary sweet persona she put on was enough to make anyone hate her. She knew that. But she wasn’t used to people being like this to her face. So blatantly obvious….he didn’t even bother trying to hide it.

The blond, William, rolled his eyes before walking over to the table. Avalyn knew this wouldn’t be a very fun time. Jackson and the rest of the cast and crew would probably spend the whole session laughing. Yet, she was pretty sure William wouldn’t be overly helpful or talkative.

She glanced around, hoping someone might come to her rescue, but everyone else was already paired off and talking to their respective hockey player. Jackson was already laughing with one of the dark haired boys, and a very large red headed man. Avalyn wished she could be like that.

“Are you coming or not?” The blond grumbled.

Avalyn took a deep breath and followed him to the table. He sat with his arms crossed. She wondered why he already seemed to hate her. Had he read something about her and decided she was a horrible human being? One of those cheap tabloids who made their living off of dragging her through the mud?

“I’m Avalyn,” She said, trying to break the tension, but her voice still shook.

He scoffed, “Yeah, I know.”

She nodded and reached for the glass of water. Couldn’t she have anyone else? Or just have someone else at the table? Why did they have to take Jackson and put him all the way across the room. She felt like she didn’t know how to do this without him. She was out of her comfort zone now.

“Okay,” She said quickly, “You obviously don’t like me, but I don’t really care. I have a job to do, and so do you. So can we just please drop the shit and you actually tell me what I’m supposed to know?”

“Who said I didn’t like you?” He fired back, leaning forward.

She let out an almost bitter laugh, “Oh, I got the message loud and clear. You have no reason to hate me, but you do. You know nothing about me, so next time maybe try to get to know the person before you form an opinion.”

It was his turn to laugh as he leaned over the table, getting closer. His eyes seemed to almost burn into her. For a moment she was afraid. She didn’t know this man, she didn’t know what he might do. But every bone in her body seemed to yell at her to run. Maybe everyone was right, maybe this was the worst choice she made.

“I know enough,” His voice was low, but the power of it made her want to shiver, “America’s princess on the outside, and a fucking bitch on the inside.”

He leaned back in his chair once more. There would be no more talking. It was like Avalyn and William were on different sides of a battlefield. They both had the next attack just waiting, and neither would wave the white flag. Avalyn didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing what his words did. Each one was like a knife going deeper and deeper into her chest.

William just didn’t want to give in. He was being stubborn, and he was sure all of the guys would say he was an ass. But he heard enough about little miss Avalyn Bradshaw Kreitzburg. He wanted nothing to do with her. Everyone that he knew that knew her all said she was really a bitch, that the sweet little innocent thing she had going was an act. That Jackson Portland acted as her guard dog in public because she couldn’t rip people to shreds for fear of losing her perfect little reputation.

So William sat across from her, a smirk playing on his lips when she finally seemed to be at a loss. So, the two sat silently as the hours ticked on. No one seemed to notice that they weren’t talking, or that William wasn’t using the dry erase board like the rest of his teammates. By the end, no one seemed to notice that they didn’t move a single inch over the course of the entire session.

“I’m not what you think,” Avalyn said quietly, “Whoever told you whatever ridiculous rumor, it’s not true.”

He smirked again, like he knew something that she didn’t, “I think Margret Vicklyr knows you enough to know the truth.”

Before she could even process the sickening feeling, he was gone. He couldn’t know Margret. Margot might hate her now, but surely she wouldn’t go as far as telling random people whatever she felt like it. After a couple of years, Avalyn hoped that Margret would just forget about whatever she was convinced that Avalyn did. But it seemed that she wasn’t forgetting...and now it didn’t seem like William would forget either.

Avalyn struggled to get in a deep breath as everyone started to get up and leave. William looked too pleased with himself as he got up from his chair and started moving towards his group.

William liked the feeling of having knocked Hollywood's princess back down to size, or at least that’s what he thought he did. He had no way of knowing what was really going on behind the glitz and the glamour. He had no way of knowing that she was struggling more than she could ever let on.

William didn’t like Avalyn Bradsaw Kreitzburg, especially after what Margret told him during her summer in Sweden. The person that Margret described to him was horrible, incapable of caring for anyone but herself, and maybe her precious Jackson Portland.Yet, he couldn’t help but feel a sort of pain in his chest at the way she seemed to sink as soon as he landed his final blow. He knew his mother would’ve had his head if she saw him acting like that. But for some reason he couldn’t help it.

How was he supposed to know that she was doing everything she could to keep her head above water and make this project work?

“Avey! C’mon, let’s go get dinner,” Jackson cheered, surrounded by the hockey players.

Avalyn shied away from all of them, “I think I’m just going to go back to mine. Raincheck?”

“I’ll hold you to it!” Jackson cheered, following the team and some other cast members out of the hotel.

As soon as she got back to her apartment, Avalyn tried her best to fill herself with music. All she kept thinking about was the way that he looked at her. The disgust...he made his mind up about her before he even met her, all because of Margo and whatever she came up with. All Avalyn wanted was to make this work, to prove that she was capable of choosing her own projects and that she was more than just the stupid doe eyed girl.

But she still felt hollow, like she was already losing control. She still didn’t know anything about the game. Her ‘advisor’ wouldn’t be of any help. She would have to fight an uphill battle. But she wanted this more than she wanted any project before now.

With music at full blast in her ears, Avalyn laid down, trying to drown herself in the sound of old classic rock and indie. She never did eat dinner like she promised. Instead, hoping the music would fill her in a way that food didn’t.

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hangingslothcentral · 3 years

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Spirit Box Radio is Crowdfunding for Season Two!!

Atmospheric and engaging, Spirit Box Radio is an audio drama which will lull you into a false sense of security before pulling the rug from under your feet. If you loved the creeping sense of unease of The Magnus Archives, the weird whimsy of Welcome to Night Vale and the LGBTQ+ representation of Hello from the Hallowoods, you'll love Spirit Box Radio.

Now launching it's second season, Spirit Box Radio has been shortlisted for a People's Choice Podcast award for Season One. The full cast and original creator are back, and determined to make Season Two even better.

Donate £20 (or equivalent in your currency)

Check out the crowdfunder page

More info under the cut, plus at the bottom a more detailed Image ID than the ALT description has space for!!

Spirit Box Radio is an indie horror audio drama which follows Sam Enfield, the unlikely host of Spirit Box Radio, a show for witches, arcanists, and the magically-inclined. Sam took over the show after the mysterious disappearance of his mother, the Illustrious Madame Marie, a renowned psychic. With no penchant for the Arcane Arts, Sam struggles to find his feet, and as he does, he discovers that Spirit Box Radio may be haunted by something much worse than ghosts: secrets.

Season One followed the mystery of Madame Marie's disappearance and uncovered Sam Enfield's true place in the conspiracy surrounding it. In Season Two, Sam, his sisters - sardonic Kitty and cynical Anna - and his snarky immortal boyfriend will try to unearth the mystery of the Man Who Walks Here and There (AKA The Man in the Flat Cap and Shell Suit, or The King of the Blood Rose Crown) whose many titles are found under almost every stone they turn. It's a story steeped in mystery, horror, trauma and grief, with plenty of softness on the side.

The show is made primarily by its creator, Pippin Eira Major, who wrote, directed and edited every episode in Season One.

Spirit Box Radio wouldn't be possible without the incredible cast of the show. Now 15 Voice Actors strong, the cast of Spirit Box Radio brings to life an array of characters, including; a shady but eloquent florist who cant be trusted; an Ominous Phone Guy; a trio of Inconvenient and malevolent entities; and numerous others.

Just like the characters in the show, our cast is mostly LGBTQ+ and many of us are young and trying to break into the industry. Here's who we are:

Pippin Eira Major (he/they) as Samael Apollo ‘Sam’ Enfield

Jessie Jeffrey (she/her) as Ekaterina Erzabet ‘Kitty the Investigator’ Enfield

Alex Peilober-Richardson (she/her) as Anastasia Morgana ‘Anna’ Enfield

Will Cummings (he/him) as Oliver ‘the Florist’ Boleyn

Billy Bray (he/they) as Scourge

Beca Barton (she/they) as Indi

Tais Grimberg (she/her) as Bliss

Kay Watson (he/she/they) as Ingra

Ellie Ripley (she/they) as ‘the Bog Witch’ Rhytidia Delphus and Stykler Snr.

Daisy Major (she/they) as Regular Caller Beth

Elinor Wood (they/them) as Additional Voice

Gary Major (he/him) as Additional Voice

Mars J Brown (she/them) as Stykler Jnr.

Rose Eke (she/her) as the Mystery Caller

Freya Meldrum (she/her) as Show-Caller Emily

If this crowdfunder is successful, we're also hoping to add five more fantastic VAs to our cast!

Being such a tiny studio, Hanging Sloths can't afford to compensate our cast for their amazing work and provided the amazing performaces you hear in Season One on a voluntary basis. They've all agreed to come back for Season Two on a Profit Share model, where they'll all get a percentage of the money made on this crowdfunder. Here's a handy graphic breaking that down:

Our main priority is to make sure the cast are making something for their hard work on the show. Up to our main goal amount, we'll be splitting the money like this:

- 50% towards the actors' profit share (which exludes me, Pippin)

- 25% towards guest writers and directors

- 25% towards other essential costs including hosting the show on Acast.

Our initial goal amount (£2500) has been worked out to make sure everyone (besides Pippin) who is providing acting, directing or writing for the show can be paid an industry standard amount.

If we don't make our full goal, whatever we DO make will be divided up according to the percentages you see above!

Anything made above that will go towards compensating Pippin for his work on the show, too.

A brief personal statement from Pippin on why the payment is being structured this way:

'As creator of the show, it's my main concern that everyone else who provides Voice Acting talent, writing, and directing is priotised for the amazing work they do. If we're able to raise enough that I can start to compensate myself, too, that would be amazing, but the main focus is on raising enough funds for everyone else.'

Please ensure you add your email to your pledge so we can contact you about your rewards!

Any amount - a huge thank you from the entire cast and crew of Spirit Box Radio Season Two! You're helping make indie audio drama happen.

£5.00 - your name in the credits of one of the first episodes of Spirit Box Radio Season Two

£10.00 - Name a Faithful Listener! Choose your name or any you can think of to be a writer or forum user in the show.

£20.00 - Advanced Edition of the Spirit Box Radio Season Two Official Soundtrack!

£40.00 - All the rewards above, PLUS a copy of the Spirit Box Season One Soundtrack

£50.00 - All the rewards above, PLUS annotated scripts for episode one (on day of episode release)

£100.00 - All the rewards, PLUS a personalised letter from Pippin, creator of the show.

£200.00 - All of the rewards, PLUS a private chat with Pippin (limited to 3) (no you don't have to chat with me directly if you don't wanna!)

£500.00 - All of the rewards, PLUS a producer credit on the show

£3000 - 'HOW NOT TO HOLD A SEANCE' BONUS MINI-SODE

This short, extra episode will be fully sound-scaped and completely finished, and will be set in the gap between Season One and Season Two.

£3500 - 'THE LIFE AND DEATHS OF OLIVER BOLEYN': A DIGITAL COLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES

A digital collection of short stories penned by show creator Pippin Eira Major, telling tales from the as-yet mysterious past of the immortal florist, Oliver Boleyn. Amongst these tales will be stories from his time at the palace of Versailles, a chance meeting with a renowned poet which may or may not have led to the creation of a certain book about a particular cursed painting, and a perilous voyage at sea.

£4000 - 'RHYTIDIA HOSTS THE SHOW' BONUS MINI-SODE NO.2.

In this bonus Mini-Sode where Rhytidia Delphus (voiced by the spectacular Ripley) will host an episode of the Enlightenment Segment (or so she thinks).

£4500 - MUSICAL MINI-SODE

A short, bonus musical episode of Spirit Box Radio, with original songs written by Maybe Wednesday and performed by members of the cast of the show.

Donate £20 (or equivalent in your currency)

Check out the crowdfunder page

[IMAGE ID: a square image of the words 'Spirit box radio' glowing in blue, like a neon sign. it's on top of a glowing yellow pentagram, trapped inside a more brightly glowing yelllow circle. behind these, a red splatter of blood. Around the circle, glowing in pale purple, a variety of stars and sparkles around 'Season Two'. Under this image, glowing yellow, it reads 'Crowdfunding now'. The background is deep purple, broken by teal grey constellations and a pair of hands, cradling the neon words from behind. END IMAGE ID] [BANNER IMAGES: Puple backgrounds with pale consetellations and yellow neon caps-locked words as described in the Alt Text]

#spirit box radio #spirit box radio podcast #audio drama #crowdfunding #sbr #sbrp #lgbtqiia+#lgbtq creator #trans creator #nonbinary creator

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centurypark · 3 years

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Hey guys!

The cast and crew had a lot of fun yesterday! We got to talk about something we've been working really hard on, and make a lot of memes. We also thought it was hilarious when people would get confused (which is understandable since we mostly posted incomprehensible memes and out of context spoilers.) We also worked up a lot of interest in the show, which is great!

No, you can't Google us. Yet.

We also had a ton of people apply to be in the cast/crew. While this is great, since we got over 20 new applications yesterday we can not take everyone. Even if we do end up taking you, it's probably going to be a few days before we can get back to you, especially if you applied as a writer or a voice actor, since we got a LOT of applications for those. Please be patient with us.

If you don't get in, you can still join the fan server, Jorts Squad, which is linked somewhere in here. One of the biggest ways you can support us right now is by following us on Twitter @CenturyParkShow. You'll also ofc be able to watch the show once it's out on youtube!

A few roles that we need to fill that aren't currently on the Google form are someone who can edit sound and someone who could compose a score for the show. (We have a few crew members who have composing experience but they're all doing other things as well, and this is kind of a big job. So if you have any experience with that, head on over to our pinned post!

Again, thank you so much for supporting us yesterday! We can't wait for you to watch our show!

#century park

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beyondd-dazedd · 3 years

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I LITERALLY COULDNT NOT DO THIS POST NOW!! so hsmtmts stans, portwell nation, literally everyone who wants to read me practically screaming for 10 paragraphs here is the hsmtmts season 2 finale EPISODE👏 REVIEW👏

starting off strong with redlyn. my beauties. my loves. my sunshines. i LOVED that the whole cast knew about red’s plan. just carlos, ricky and ej being like ah yes locker letters😉😉 and everyone being all smiley and knowing SO CUTE!! i hated seeing ash sad but GOD RED SPENDING THE WHOLE NIGHT MAKING THIS THING TO SHOW ASHLYN HOW MUCH HE APPRECIATES HER?? GOD TIER. also the crew just wATCHING FROM THE DOOR WHILE REDLYN IS IN THEIR OWN WORLD?? MY HEART they’re just such a genuine couple. i love their sweet awkward moments. i also love that lights is their reoccurring thing. it just makes me so happy. y’all just KNOW red calls ashlyn his sunshine and i don’t take criticisms on that. i also really wanted an i love you confession there but they’re so cute that i will allow it to wait

HOWIE AND KOURTNEY!!! at first (bc ep. 11) i was like HOWIE NO YOU CANT HAVE DONE ALL OF THIS STUFF TO HELP EAST AND THEN STAB THEM AND KOURTNEY IN THE BACK but the fact that he was literally just in awe of kourtney and so nervous to be around her because he thinks she’s so talented mADE MY HEART RACE truly incredible. also loved kourt standing up for herself. we LOVE and STAN a straight forward QUEEN also their dorky arm in arm walk was so adorable. also drum rolls being their thing. also honorable mention to kourt’s (dara’s) mom WE STAN

ej helping mr. mazzarra get that job?? I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH.

PORTWELL ANGST SCENE I CRY. ALSO DID I CALL THAT SCENE OR DID I CALL THAT SCENE?? if you read the fic i posted like 7 hours ago you’ll know what i’m talking about. anyways back to the show. gina joking around and then realizing that ej means not rescheduling ever and her just pretending like she’s fine with it?? OUCH OUCH OUCH i would’ve rather her immediately been heart broken. DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON EJ’S FACE AFTER SHE WALKS AWAY. matt absolutely killed that part. you can tell he waited just long enough for her to walk away when he lets his face fall and IT HURTS YOU CAN LITERALLY SEE HIM WANTING TO STAY CRYING BEFORE HE TURNS AWAY

rini moment. not the dressing room parallel. it was PAINFUL. the juxtaposition between the scene in the s1 finale and this scene?? OUCH. ricky saying if we’re literally on the same page (something they struggled with throughout the entire season) and nini saying just for a moment. i just wanna talk to the writers I JUST WANNA TALK BECAUSE THAT WAS RUDE.

seblos being cuties and ms. jenn on some fuck shit. she was having a MOMENT. like chill it’s high school theater it’s alright sis.

GINA LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND SOBBING I HATED IT. I HATED IT.

gini moment?? i loved it. also nini’s right. portwell is so powerful for so many reasons. period sis. and she’s right WE ARE LUCKY TO KNOW GINA. i loved their moment of solidarity and friendship. imma be honest for like 0.1 seconds i thought if portwell doesn’t work out gini might be the move bUT DONT WORRY IM A PORTWELL WARRIOR FOREVER also y’all called gina talking to nini about jamie and her music. YALL CALLED THAT SHIT

i liked ms. jenn and ricky’s moment. i loved josh’s acting in this scene because it’s just so well done. like doesn’t seem like he’s acting at all and it translates so well in this scene. it was very heartfelt and such a mature moment for ricky. so reflective. i love ricky

second chances GAVE ME CHILLS the whole staging, the vocals, the core four. CHILLS. the acting from all of them for this song WAS INCREDIBLE. it was so simple but really made the scene. i’m also a sucker for songs structured like this. with like the rounds and the switching lyrics over top of each other. LOVE.

ok literally all of them booing when lily and antoine showed up sENT ME because me too THE FUCK. antoine saying “big red. you were also in it” mADE ME SNORT. ricky literally shooing them out made me laugh and lily’s whirling turn and ricky like startling back a bit made me laugh. i hate lily but her confession was literally me. like i like his big brown eyes and his big brown hair too you ain’t special bitch. antoine’s thumbs up was SO FUNNY. andrew was hilarious in this role.

also i didn’t love that they were like well fuck the menkies after that was a major plot point of the season but like also i get it. just being like MEH the stress isn’t worth it. EJ’S SPEECH HES LITERALLY VOICE BREAK JUST THE FUCKING GROWTH THAT HES HAD I LOVE HIM

jennzzarra flirting in front of the kids?? kinda cute ngl. also am i muted? SENT ME. also love that howie is just chilling there while they’re talking about dropping out. KOURT SAID LETS BURN THOSE RESULTS

benjamin being BOLD BOLD good for him

big star nini?? good for her!

ashlyn being like YIKES i’m sorry i didn’t realize you thought of ej that way and her being like hahah ok... wait WHAT? but i KNEW ash was going to progress that along somehow. like obvs ej and gina were sulking and ashlyn HAD to be the one to step in. she do be the #1 portwell warrior. thank you for your service ma’am

i will only allow ricky and lily to be a thing IF it’s a summer fling, if it means antoine gets to stay around and if it pushes rini back together and if none of that happens then wtf is even the point of pairing those two up. but we already know ricky is a sucker for misunderstood competitive women (minus nini)

GINA CHASING AFTER EJ!!! HIS FACE OF JUST OH GOD PLEASE LET ME BE HEARTBROKEN!! YOU GOT BAD INTEL!! THE CAN I... CAN YOU WHAT? CAN I KISS YOU with her little giddy laugh and her smile GIRL YOURE GLOWING and then ej’s swallow as he turns to fully look at her. WILL YOU BE MY FIRST KISS!!!! HIM JUST SLOWLY SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR AND DROPPING HIS BAG TO WALK TO HER AND THEN THEM RUNNING WHEN THEY GET CLOSER AND GINA’S LITTLE GIGGLING I CANNOT EVEN

i am so so SO HERE FOR SUMMER FLUFFY IN LOVE PORTWELL

overall am i a little sad it was so short? yes. do i understand the insane restrictions they were working under? yes. am i confident about a season 3? absolutely. i am HERE for a summer season.

anyways PORTWELL IS CANNON!!

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts spoilers #portwell #redlyn #seblos #rini #kourtney x howie #ej caswell #gina porter #big red #ashlyn caswell #carlos rodriguez #seb matthew smith #ricky bowen #nini salazar roberts #kourtney greene #brenn’s hsmtmts shitposting

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