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#There is only a handful of people that will remember this one
writerpeach · 3 days
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Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them
aespa Karina x m!reader
10k words
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"What time is it?" Karina asks as she stumbles into the kitchen, a half awaken mess, dark locks all disheveled in a white top and tight shorts. "Jesus, my fucking head..."
"Nearly one." 
"Shit," Karina hisses. "I had a test in the morning, didn't you hear my alarm go off?"
"You think I can hear anything over you snoring?" you ask, glancing up with a playful smile as Karina sits opposite you at the kitchen table, resting her face in her palms. "You barely made it inside before I had to lug your body onto the couch.”
"Hey, I don't snore," Karina scoffs, giving you a dirty look with bleary eyes as she runs fingers through her messy hair in a feeble attempt to look presentable.
"Oh, of course you don't. Which is why I could hear you all the way upstairs. Pretty sure the entire neighborhood could." 
"Shut it," she snaps back with as much bite as she can muster, though can't keep that grimace on her features for long before a tired grin escapes. "The last thing I remember is Yizhuo holding my hair up while I—well, you don't need to know the rest."
“Sounds like you had a fun night.” 
"Fantastic," Karina responds with all the sarcasm she can manage. Her gaze immediately turns towards the coffee maker—the only thing that matters during this hellish hungover state. 
“Coffee should still be warm,” you say, not missing a beat. “But take this first, it'll help."
Karina eyes the two painkillers in your hand with a grateful look as she scoots forward and reaches to accept a glass of water, tossing her head back a bit before chugging it all a single gulp. 
"You're a lifesaver. I'm so embarrassing, you shouldn't have to keep taking care of me. Thank you," she says with a quick smile, gently placing the empty glass down, then heading straight for the coffeepot.
"Don't worry about it. It's what I'm here for."
"You should have been there last night then, maybe could have kept me in check. I'll never drink that much ever again."
Karina cradles a freshly poured mug of hot coffee as she makes her way back to the table, taking a seat ever so carefully, trying not to fall over in the process. She rubs her temple in gentle circles, feeling like absolute hell as she tests the coffee with a sip of uncertainty.
"You've said that the last couple times," you tease, leaning back in your chair as you focus back on your laptop screen and the paper that you’ve been working on all day. "You know that's not really my thing. As much as I enjoy watching other people make an idiot out of themselves."
"At least I could have had someone to talk to. The only person I knew was Yizhuo, and she was so busy making out with anyone with a pulse that I didn't say more than three words to her."
"Yizhuo?" you ask. 
"You've met her, haven't you? She's one of my best friends." 
"Don't think I have." 
"Right, well—she'll sleep with anyone that so much looks at her," Karina chuckles as she savors the delicious warmth of coffee down her throat. She takes another careful sip and her eyes close, wondering if the throbbing in her head will ever subside.
"She's learned from the best, I suppose."
"Hey!" she says, faux offense laced in her tone, placing down her mug. "Don't compare me to that slut. I've got standards at least."
"Really?"
“I'll have you know, I don't sleep with everyone,” Karina huffs, turning her face away to sip at her coffee some more, but you can't resist the urge to tease her even further in her current state. "Just a few lucky guys. Sometimes two at once. Or three. But nothing crazy, I'm not a slut."
"Wouldn't dare even think of using that word on you, Rina." 
"See, not like Yizhuo at all, not desperate and willing to suck and ride anything in sight. Besides, it's been like over a month since I've last gotten laid,” she says, out of nowhere. You let out a dry laugh, unable to believe your ears. It's strange, seeing Karina's pale skin so flustered, because clearly even she can’t buy that. 
“I’m serious!” 
"The walls say otherwise, you know. You're a terrible liar, Rina." From first hand experience, you know how thin these walls are—being able to overhear her muffled cries of ecstasy, every vulgar utterance from Karina's room, each time she sneaks home a stranger who has the absolute honor of getting to pound her senselessly. 
"W-what, I'm not!" Karina blurts out, face getting even redder, so frazzled with that thought. "That—you were probably just hearing all that porn you keep on your laptop. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about the weird, kinky shit you’re into.” 
Pausing for a moment, she gives an impish grin, so pleased with herself for trying to turn things around. You could call her bluff, but even better, you’ll come up with one of your own, something equally preposterous and absurd.
"Me? I don't even watch porn," you say somehow with a straight face, and it's such a ridiculous statement you can hardly finish getting the words out. Karina puts her mug down and brings her arms over her chest, letting out a small sigh before glaring across the table.
"Is that so? Now who's the terrible liar?"
"Believe what you want. This laptop is for school work only. Nothing else." 
"Didn't realize I was living with such a prude," Karina says, as a teasing grin slides along her features. "All those times I've brought home a guy to fuck my brains out—I guess I've been making you feel extra uncomfortable."
"No, not at all, Rina. I just focus on my studies instead of how loud I can hear you scream through the walls. Noise-cancelling headphones do wonders," you say, doing your best to keep a stoic expression on your face. But Karina isn't having any of your bullshit. Not when she's sitting across from you with a smug look and trying her damndest to get you to break this facade.
"Look," Karina sighs dramatically, turning her head to face you directly. "There’s no fooling me. You don't have to act like you don’t enjoy listening to me getting railed. And you'd be lying if you told me you've never been turned on from all that. Just admit you've touched yourself to the sounds of it, and we'll leave this alone."
"Can't say I've done that either."
"Stop—" Her brow arches in frustration, and she can't even hide the smile beginning to break along her lips. "I get it, you're a better liar than I thought. You don’t have to keep pretending."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." You think you deserve an award for not laughing your ass off at this point, but it's an ongoing struggle to keep this going. The best part is that Karina is so insistent on it, completely unwilling to let this go until she gets you to admit that she's caught you.  
"Oh, come on, you've jerked off at least once or twice while listening to me, don't play dumb. Like you said, the walls are thin. I can hear when you're getting off too, you know."
"You've got a wild imagination, Karina. I've done nothing of the sort. The only thing I care about is getting a good night's sleep and graduating with honors."
"Fuck that, no one can study constantly. If it wasn't for me getting railed on the regular, I wouldn't even survive. I'd probably drop out and become a bartender or something. Getting dicked down does wonders."
"Everyone has their own ways of dealing with stress. Sex obviously isn't mine."
"Stop, you're such a fucking liar," Karina almost yells, frustration bubbling up as her arms cross even tighter, unable to stop the laughter that slips out. "There's no way that you're studying, what, seven days a week, without getting yourself off? Everyone has horny thoughts, especially guys. I know there are hot girls in your classes, there's no way you aren't fantasizing about them."
"I’m not. Too busy learning about the wonders of—" 
"Shut the fuck up," Karina snaps in the most exaggerated tone, leaning forward, trying her hardest to hide her smile and fight whatever antics you keep coming up with. The longer this goes on, the more she breaks out into giggles. It's rather amusing seeing her get worked up like this, the little scrunched face she pulls and the exasperation that oozes from every word, knowing you aren't telling the truth one bit.
"You're not that studious. I've lived with you long enough to know that you're not the nerdy type. I'm right, I know I've seen you come home late. Don't deny it!"
"There's a really nice coffee shop that's by campus open rather—" you begin to say, not exactly sure how you haven't broken down laughing by now.
"Don't you dare tell me you're studying at one in the morning instead of getting your head trapped between some pretty girl's thighs," she interrupts in an instant, gaze piercing right through you. And no longer can you keep a straight face for another second longer, looking away to stop from grinning. But that might be a mistake. As you happen to glance back, Karina gets up out of her seat, this devilish expression as she strides around the table towards you. "If you aren't gonna be honest—maybe I'll just have to get the truth out of you."
Before you can even react, Karina swipes up your laptop with lightning speed and slams the lid shut, not caring for anything else as she drops her weight in your lap. It takes you by surprise, and by now, she has to know how close you are to breaking, deciding to pull out all the stops to try to win her little game of bullshit. "Oh, so you've suddenly gone mute."
And Karina gets impossibly close, staring into your eyes, enough so you have no other option but to look directly in her deadly gaze. She wraps her arms around the back of your neck, resting her hands there, a smirk curling up her lips as she tries to break your resolve all at once.
The way she looks at you is unbelievably seductive, which might be the reason your heart beats faster, with how gorgeous she is up close. That confident little smirk refuses to leave her lips, the scent of her perfume strong in the air, making everything more difficult to endure. It's impossible for you to hide all your weaknesses. And even more impossible to stash your sudden shyness while Karina traces light patterns upon your neck as she lets out another giggle when you start avoiding her eye contact.
"You're cute when you're nervous," she says, that deep voice dripping with nothing but sin and seduction as she takes your chin, lifting you towards her. It's difficult to look away or hide, with her looking right into your eyes—a sharp, penetrative gaze that you can’t flee from, especially not when she gets this close, feeling her warm breath on your skin. 
“Tell me—where's that confidence from a few minutes ago gone? A pretty girl sitting on your lap is all it takes for you to break?" Karina purrs against the shell of your ear, lips hovering dangerously close. 
You stay silent, muscles all tensed up, breathing audibly and wanting nothing more than to pull away. And it only gets worse when her fingers run lightly through your hair, messing it up playfully as her breath lingers. "Hm? Still not talking? When did you ever get shy with me?"
Karina knows she's won.
As she presses up against your chest, drawing ever so slightly nearer, it's in that brief second when the warmth of her body against yours completely overwhelms you. There's no defense left against her little game of interrogation.
"Let's be real, I know you're jerking off every chance you get, especially when I have a dick inside me," she coos with the most angelic smile you've ever seen, eyes brimming with delight, her touch following the path of your body and taking pleasure in seeing all the little reactions she steals from you.
"But there's nothing wrong with that. Hell, I want you to. The thought of you stroking your cock with the image of me naked and getting fucked turns me on. Knowing my loud moans and screams are the perfect inspiration for your orgasm—that makes it all better, doesn't it?" Karina brushes her lips right into the crook of your neck as she whispers all these obscenities, making damn well sure you hear every single word.
You’ve completely frozen up. It’s not like you to be so demure, but also this isn’t like Karina. 
"Oh, you wish it was you, don't you?” Karina asks, memorizing every detail in your expression. ”Poor thing, being stuck as my roommate—having to deal with the fact you aren't fucking me from behind, playing with my tits, and smacking my ass hard until my cheeks sting." 
Seeing the clear frustration in your expression puts a smirk on her face again, experiencing the thrill of finally having the upper hand on you. Karina knows she has all the leverage, right here, right now. 
"I know you're not the least bit innocent. Not with the way you looked at me when you saw me in nothing but a towel, fresh out of the shower, my naked tits still wet. I bet that made you jerk off right away, didn't it?"
"R-rina—" You finally manage to utter out her name after some considerable struggle, at a complete loss for words. Because this isn’t at all how you expected this to go, but she's right about every single detail, and you find it harder and harder to deny it. 
"What is it, sweetie? Have something you wanna say? Wanna tell me the truth? That you fantasize about me all the time, don't you?" And Karina keeps leaning in closer, getting all the answers she wants before you can speak another word. 
"Y-yeah, I—"
"Use your words. You can do that for me, can't you? Tell me all the things you can't stop thinking about." 
"Fuck, Karina—it's the only thing I think about in the mornings. And at night. Every single day. Even when you haven't had anyone over in a while, I just think about fucking you, what that body looks like naked, how those huge tits would look bouncing in my face.” 
You’ve cracked. And there’s no going back now. 
"Go on, don't stop there, sweetheart. It's too late to be shy now." Karina smiles so pleasantly and cups your face to keep you from looking anywhere else, her tone immediately shifting. "Tell me you wanna fuck me. You want my tight pussy to swallow up your cock until I can't walk properly tomorrow. You've always wanted that, right?" 
"Y-yes, god yes, that's—that's what I want. Wanna bury myself deep inside you, squeeze those perfect tits and fuck you so hard until I unload everything inside."
"See how easy that was? Turns out you’re not very innocent after all, are you?" And Karina seals your confession with a deep kiss, drawing you into a rather warm, heated embrace as she nips at the bottom of your earlobe, giving it the lightest tease before letting go. 
"Let's give you everything you've ever wanted, sweetie." 
Karina tears herself from the kiss, just so she can run her tongue along your bottom lip and get another taste for herself. A slight pant, and she doesn't waste another minute getting rid of her shirt, exposing her bare skin and massive tits no fabric can contain. 
Your pants, they grow tighter in an instant. Those huge tits, the deep cleavage—they're nothing but hypnotic. Karina watches you stare with wonder for several long moments before unhooking her bra to get the entire picture. You swallow hard, eyes going wide as her breasts spill out from their restraints, pale and so fucking perfect, and god, you can't even think straight from how absolutely delicious they look.
Karina leans back to unveil her bare breasts in full view, and even the slightest movement makes them bounce gently. They're practically begging to be touched, and there's no hope of looking away. "Are they everything you ever imagined?"
A nod comes almost automatically in response, captivated by those enormous mounds with the prettiest nipples you've ever seen. Your roommate takes hold of your wrists and leads you to feel every last inch of her luscious pair, right where she knows your fingers want to go. 
"Go on, show me exactly what you've always dreamed about, sweetie." Hardly able to believe what’s happening, you take the plunge as you indulge, these tits soft and supple in the palm of your hands. The full weight of her breasts is everything, Karina exhaling a breathy whimper when you massage them with a perfect grip, lightly squeezing, testing their sensitivity. 
“You don't have to be gentle. You've wanted to play with these tits so bad, right? Don't hold back now,” Karina says with such a sweet voice. So you take her permission to heart, getting two full handfuls of creamy flesh to squeeze greedily and grope to your heart's desire. 
You’re practically speechless. Nothing could ever match the way they fill your hands when you knead them, fingers digging into all that flesh to press them together, only to release and have them bounce, this recoil that seems almost unreal. 
"God, these tits—they're fucking incredible, you know that?"
"Oh these? I’m sure all those times you'd peek down my top gave me a clue you’d love them. And you haven't even had them in your mouth yet," Karina says as she reaches for the back of your head. In an instant, she shoves your face right into the delicious valley of her pale breasts, suffocating you with all the softness and warmth of her plentiful chest provides. Her huge tits completely consume your vision, and there is no fighting the urge to lick a stripe down that cleavage to take in the first taste. 
It only gets better as she encourages you, tightening fingers in your hair when you run your tongue around her stiff little nub before closing your lips around it, capturing it to suck softly. A delightful shudder rocks her, gasping loudly, and Karina guides your movements, keeping your attention spread out across both breasts to ensure the other isn't getting left behind.
"Good boy," she hums with all the satisfaction in the world, gripping harder when she presses you back into her chest, helping you indulge in this buffet that's been laid out before you. "You’ve been waiting forever for a chance to suck on these tits, haven’t you?" 
You refuse to answer with words, replying instead with more frantic sucking, the nipple between your greedy lips growing wetter and wetter. But your free hand stays occupied, as you squeeze the other breast not in your mouth not so gently, sinking into the softness even further. Hungrily, you move between them, feasting on those divine tits to satiate all of your desires, and you’ll suck on them forever if she'll let you. 
There's no better treat than the way she feels in your palms and all over your lips. Not now—not while all this lust floods your veins. Not while she whimpers, your actions gaining speed, faster and faster to keep Karina's sensitive nipples trapped in your lips and suck harder. She lets out her moans, a gorgeous sound that echoes, and you can feel every vibrating sound rippling through her ample chest.
"Jesus, your mouth is amazing," she breathes through all the gasps and the moans, all those noises a pure sign of encouragement that drives you forward, until you need a moment to draw a desperate breath. It doesn't stop there. You resume immediately, introducing a bit of teeth to nibble down into the smooth, pink buds, because like you've been told, there's no need to be gentle. Not when Karina clearly prefers it like that, tugging a fistful of your hair, hoping you'll get the message to apply just a little bit more pressure.
All of this attention you're giving her gets Karina nice and bothered, mouth hanging open as she pants to control her breathing. You could stay here forever, happily settled with a pair of tits stuffed into your mouth. Maybe she lets you. Maybe you spend an eternity exploring that delicious rack, because it can never truly satisfy your craving for them.
"Mmm, feels so fucking good," is how she answers your teeth dragging across those wet nipples, whining when it suddenly leaves, depriving her of your lips just you can stare longingly at the swell of her heavy breasts once again.
You have to admire your work on her sensitive breasts when you pull back, swimming in bliss as you see the sight of them glistening with your saliva, nipples so visibly hard and drenched now. There's no denying how much you love having Karina's huge tits all to yourself, how you just want to drown in all this soft, pale flesh. 
"Don’t tell me you’re done already?" Karina asks, disappointment in her tone while she strokes the back of your head. "I can feel how fucking hard that cock of yours is from just sucking on my tits…"
Once again, you have no response, still lost in a fog of lust as you squeeze those supple mounds, giving another tender lick to those nipples covered in spit to get the smallest gasp from her lips. "I could play with your big fucking tits all day.” 
Karina giggles, content to let you do just that. "Well, you've earned that, sweetheart. But I think we should move this to the bedroom, so we can get more comfortable, and maybe you can get me out of these clothes?” 
"Yeah—right, bedroom," you repeat, distracted by how tantalizing her perfect tits look still soaked with your spit. She laughs and offers up a hand to help pull you to your feet, taking the chance to sneak another kiss before you get too far apart.
You’re dragged along up to her room, left to gawk over her body as you follow obediently. Those shorts are just a bit too tight to hide any details of her curvy ass, which sways rhythmically with every last step. The second the bedroom door shuts behind you, Karina pulls you right into another embrace, a hot and needy kiss, your hands finding their place on her slender waist you plan to become familiar with. 
"Get me naked like you've always fantasized," Karina says the instant your lips separate, heading towards the bed without waiting for your response. You don't have to be told twice, too eager to find out how the rest of her body compares as she bends over, placing her hands on the sheets. 
The scene in front of you sends a rush of anticipation, and immediately, you reach for those ridiculously tight shorts, pausing a moment only to feel just how firm Karina's butt is under them. This all feels like a dream, one that you hope stays a reality as your eyes aimlessly wander all over this flawless skin. 
Her huge breasts push into the mattress, so soft and inviting, fighting for your attention from that backside, and this is already so overwhelming, before you’ve even seen what’s underneath here. 
"Taking your sweet time, hm?" she teases, rolling her hips ever so slightly, hoping to hurry your pace, a hint you gladly take without an ounce of hesitation. Undoing her zipper takes only seconds, and Karina's smooth, pale thighs become more exposed as you gradually peel her shorts down inch by inch. The curve of her ass nearly spills out from the pink thong you've seen for the first time, and this sight is almost as breathtaking as her massive chest.
"Only get to do this for the first time once." 
“You poor thing. Guess I can’t blame you.” Slipping out of her shorts with ease, Karina makes them drop to the floor where they can be easily forgotten. You're left frozen in awe at the perfection of her full, plump ass that looks far too good in this thong, and those creamy thighs that must feel like heaven wrapped around your head. 
"Come on, take my panties off too. You want a full view of this all, don't you?" Once you're done admiring her shapely ass, Karina turns her gaze over her shoulder, that smile far too much to deny. And as much as you want to keep staring, your hands already move on their own, desperate to finish what you've started.
Running your fingertips under the waistband, you tug that thin fabric right off, to reveal the fullness of those scrumptious cheeks and that pink, glistening pussy that looks too mouthwatering to resist. 
Now it all comes together. 
Karina is flawless, every deadly curve, every inch of milky white skin exposed, giving you yet another reason to stare at that sinful figure. There's no fighting the urge to squeeze what your fingers can sink into, taking a nice handful of her shapely rear that you can’t take your eyes off. It's an addiction without a cure, groping those juicy cheeks that are the definition of perfection, and you can't decide which part of her you want to worship the most. 
"Such a pervert," Karina giggles, and this time you can’t say you disagree with that. 
"Never said I wasn't." There's no point in denying what she clearly already knows, not when you can't look anywhere else. Not after being denied the privilege of her body until this moment—you've got some time to make up. 
"The first time you've seen me naked and all you can do is stare?" Karina quirks an eyebrow, putting her hand on her hips, to display that body deserving of all the praise you can give her. She closes the distance between the two of you in just a few short steps, grabbing hold of the collar on your shirt. "How about you show me something too while you're drooling?"
There's no hesitation on your end, knowing what’s expected as you pull your shirt over your head and drop it on the ground to join her clothes. Karina runs a fingertip along your bare chest, an approving smile spreading over her lips while her eyes glance over you carefully, this newfound hunger in her eyes. 
"Much better," she says, and now you're the one who's being gawked at, shirtless, under the gaze of your undeniably stunning roommate who can't help herself from exploring your body. You can’t say you don’t mind the attention at all. 
She traces the outline of your biceps, grazing along your shoulders, then down to your abdomen, leaving a faint, teasing touch to test the reaction she receives. And then, with no warning, those fingers move lower to palm your growing bulge so blatantly straining through your pants. 
"You're so fucking hard, it must be painful. But this time, I can help you with that. What do you wanna do with me, sweetheart?"
Where do you even start? Never did you expect to be caught in a moment like this, your roommate fully naked, stroking her hand along the length of your clothed cock, ready to finally do something about this pent-up tension she's caused. The possibilities are endless—but when Karina is looking at you like this, her fingers making your cock throb, waiting for you to choose, it's hard to think straight. 
"Can't decide? I don't blame you. But don't worry—I know just what we can start with." You don't have time to guess as Karina takes the lead and pushes you back towards her bed, patting the mattress. "Be a good boy and sit here, and I’ll take care of you."
Karina drops to her knees ever so slowly and licks her lips. Before you realize what's going on, she's pulling down your pants, boxers falling shortly after, and now she can see exactly what you were hiding underneath, this hard shaft that's been desperate to spring loose.
"Oh my god, your cock—it's gorgeous, sweetie," Karina gasps, staring right at your stiff shaft twitching impatiently just for her. 
There's barely a chance to process everything happening before she reaches forward, running a curious finger up the underside of your cock and watching the resulting shudder. Those pretty fingers wrap around your aching length, and Karina smiles up at you with pure delight in her eyes as she jerks your cock slowly, discovering all these new reactions you make. 
"Karina," you gasp out, almost choking, a shiver running down your spine at that light stroke—almost too fleeting for it to bring any pleasure. She repeats, with more enthusiasm, tightening her grip and using the clear liquid that leaks out to aid the movement of her fingers.
"Look at you, so fucking hard, throbbing so much for me. You like that? My hand wrapped around your cock?"
Karina has this look on her face that has no business being that damn innocent, not with those fingers squeezing you just right, or those huge breasts that shake ever so slightly with each pump of her fist. When she begins to pick up the pace, working you faster, twisting her hand up and down the length of your hard shaft, the urge to do anything but moan becomes near impossible. “You really do, don’t you? Well then, how about this—“
A string of spit falls onto your cock, smearing over her palm to slicken your shaft. She leans down to part her lips, hot breath hitting your shaft for the first time as she takes the entire head in her mouth and starts to gently suck, tongue working right behind. 
"Shit, oh my god, Karina—“ 
She’s got you in her sights, and there's nothing to do but surrender completely to the pleasure, eyes locked with her as she keeps those lips sealed tight, the wet warmth of her mouth engulfing you little by little. Karina's response comes in an instant, bobbing her head, slurping down on your shaft so greedily, showing all the appreciation you’ve earned. 
It's when her gaze flickers upwards to see your expression that it really becomes the death of you—the sight of her staring, with her round doe eyes, sucking and lapping around your shaft so eagerly is just too much to take. And if that wasn’t enough, her cheeks hollow out, every long pass making the view even better—this filthy slurping and sucking as her drool starts to run down your shaft, spilling from the corner of her lips to create the perfect picture. 
It's messy and wet, the sounds that accompany this sloppy blowjob only adding to the heat that's building. Her tongue doesn't stay dormant, sliding up and down and flicking around your swollen cockhead as she tastes what her lips aren't currently around. 
"Your mouth, god, your mouth feels fucking incredible—" is about all you can gasp. 
"Did you expect anything else?" Karina asks as she takes more of your cock, swallowing deep down without warning, bobbing faster and going just a little further to see how many inches you can handle down her throat. 
Her mouth feels like heaven, so slick and warm, with those luscious lips wrapped so tightly around your throbbing cock. A steady back and forth rhythm keeps up to take more, over and over, until every inch is nestled firmly into the tight grip of her throat. “I've been missing out on sucking this beautiful cock of yours—mmph."
Her mouth only gets messier as she slurps and swallows you down, resting her palms on your bare thighs, taking down your length with far more vigor than you could hope for. This blowjob is effortless on her end, a routine, and Karina doesn't pause to catch her breath or rest her throat—she’s driven, determined to keep her spell on you, without a moment where she even looks close to gagging. 
"How does that mouth feel on your cock, sweetie?" Karina asks. The words come so easy between slurps and sucks on your aching shaft, getting wetter from all the slick saliva that helps keep you buried down her throat. 
"So fucking good," you groan, tilting your head back, and there isn't anything else you could think of to properly praise this work. That's all Karina wants to hear.
"Then let me make you feel even better,” she tells you, flashing a wicked smile with a gleam in her eye that has your cock pulsing hard between her lips. Before you can question a thing, her mouth releases your slick cock, taking these lazy strokes to keep you nice and stiff. There’s a moment where nearly nothing happens, aside from her staring and pumping your cock. The silence lingers. Until finally, she takes your cock, hard as can be—
Karina guides it directly between her enormous breasts. You can hardly breathe, much less speak, and your jaw practically drops when you feel the soft flesh of her massive chest wrapped snugly around your shaft. Her hands come together, fingers interlocking, pressing those tits tighter against your length and that devilish smirk returns as she looks down at the surprise and joy in your expression.
And you can hardly believe the sight when she begins to rock her chest, trapping you between her tits with no chance to escape. The friction picks up, sliding the entire length of your cock with no intention of slowing down or stopping, and Karina stares right into your eyes, admiring the pleasure written all over your features to make sure you commit this to memory. 
With her tits wrapped so perfectly around your cock, you won’t last long. But that doesn’t matter. You’ll enjoy every second. Every delicate squeeze, every lingering moment her fingers massage the base of your needy, throbbing shaft. And when she spits between her deep cleavage to make the friction even better, a slicker mess for your cock to slide between, that’s how you start to lose it. 
“Jesus, Karina—feels so fucking good, oh my god.” It took so long getting used to the blissful suction from that pretty mouth, but this? There isn't any way to survive these full breasts that keep your entire length enveloped in such perfect warmth.
“Does it? Love how good your cock looks between my big tits." 
You can’t disagree one bit, because it looks almost as good as it feels. There's no describing how euphoric it all is, the way your shaft vanishes into that perfect valley of pale flesh with Karina squeezing firmly, grinding her chest up and down to let the slippery friction of her soft breasts coax those dizzying groans out of your mouth. "You love fucking my tits, don't you, sweetie?"
"Yeah—so much, this is just, fuck,” you moan, nearly collapsing back against the sheets at the intense sensations that jolt through your body. 
But Karina doesn't give you a chance to relax, quickening her pace, making your whole shaft throb with need as you continue to watch that massive pair of breasts move and bounce atop your shaft. She's loving this as much as you are, dragging out all these desperate moans that beg for more.
"Look how needy you sound—all because you get to fuck these huge tits," Karina teases you, grinding her upper body harder, massaging your achingly hard cock that looks devastatingly good sandwiched between her breasts like that. Your mouth stays open, but no words spill out, leaving room for more groans and she doesn't hesitate to keep that pleasure building and building with such intensity.
You know this can't last forever, but despite that, you're savoring this mind-numbing pleasure, doing what you can not to succumb and explode too soon. These tits are so soft, so warm, and you're throbbing so much from the friction alone, trying to delay the inevitable when your cock disappears and reappears between Karina's abundant cleavage. 
"Can't take much more—"
Karina smiles, smug and devious all at the same time as she doesn't bother to ease up, your stiff shaft begging to release all over those perfect breasts. There's not another moment to delay this endless bliss driving you mad, your balls tight and throbbing for an orgasm you can't ignore. "Are you going to cum, sweetie? Ready to make a huge fucking mess all over my tits?"
You're practically delirious, finding it harder to breathe, the weakest nod all you can give. But Karina can tell how close you are by how your cock endlessly throbs and leaks. She shifts forward again, squeezing as tight as possible, bringing you closer and closer to a long overdue release. All this delicious friction is too much, bringing that pleasure to the very edge, and when you look down at her again and share the next glance, the encouraging look in her eyes is the last thing that sets you off. 
"Be a good boy and cum for me. Cum all over these tits like you've always wanted to." 
That's all it takes. 
Your whole body tenses and stiffens as your climax swells up and hits you hard. With your cock nestled between her tits, you can see everything as the first blast of sticky, white cum fires up and explodes all over her pale skin, groaning with every spurt that splashes across her breasts and neck, one heavy, thick stream after another that leaves you shaking. 
Karina doesn't cease for one instant, her tits snugly pressed together as you fill up her cleavage with hot cum, keeping this explosive orgasm going strong. Her full lips part with surprise as your load leaves such a mess, this heavy warmth clinging all over her exposed skin, coating her deep cleavage nicely with that sticky sheen. Her breasts make you cum harder than you think you ever have. 
And even when it's all over, your load dripping down and oozing out between her huge tits, they stay where they are, squeezing it all out so she can ensure nothing gets wasted. Only when Karina is satisfied that you've been properly drained, your breath all heavy and weak, does she ease off, freeing your cock from her cleavage just to rub your sensitive tip against her hardened nipples to smear the warm mess you made. 
"Such a huge, thick load for me. You needed that so badly, right? Didn’t it feel so good to get it all out over my perfect tits?"
Words fail you, only able to muster a weak tilt of your head as you lean back, spent completely, eyes focused on the glistening mess on Karina's chest, all this cum that she wears proudly to put on a little show to display your work.
"Did I make you cum too hard for you to talk, sweetie? You poor thing, how long has it been since someone got you off like this?"
"D-dunno," you say breathlessly, watching her hand continue to work up and down your drained shaft, still twitching desperately, needing every second of her attention. "Can't remember—far too long."
"Oh baby, that's no good—this beautiful cock should always be given attention." There's no denying how right she is about that, but before you can even muster a sound in response, Karina is gripping your cock a little tighter in her hand to keep it rigid. While you stare at those beautiful, cum-covered breasts, the lust has hardly faded. "Think you can handle going again? Or does your cock need a little more time to rest?"
There's only one possible answer. As sensitive and sore as your cock might be after shooting a load all over those fabulous tits, your hardness makes its intentions clear when it pulsates with need in her hand. You'd be disappointed if you stopped now. 
"Need more. Need to be inside you, please," you respond, borderline pleading to finally feel what Karina's heavenly pussy feels like—how tight that immaculate grip must be. 
“Thought so. But there's no need to beg, sweetheart—now why don't you lie on the bed so I can ride your cock?"
You’ve never heard a more beautiful set of words. 
There's no second thought or hesitation. Karina is every bit willing to fulfill all your desires as you climb onto the bed and get comfy on the sheets. She crawls over on her hands and knees, but doesn't settle right into your lap. Instead, she presses her warm body atop your own, your naked flesh crashing together, those heavy breasts squashed tightly up against your bare chest as her lips find your own.
Her skin is so soft when you caress it, and the kisses come so abruptly, as does the hand that snakes down to lazily stroke your cock while she's busy letting her sweet taste linger on your lips.
"Tell me whenever you're ready, and I’ll take you inside me. This is just a nice little warmup," Karina promises in such a dulcet tone that you're tempted to respond immediately—but honestly, you don't know if you'll ever be ready for what she has in store. 
So you lie there, surrendering to those lips, and let yourself revel in this delightful warmth she presses against you. It's the kind of lackadaisical make-out session that could never end, with no urgent need to rush. Her kisses are slow and steady, lips claiming yours with the same care and attention her fingers give your stiff shaft, jerking you off at a deliberate pace that makes you leak more and more for her.
"Rina—" 
"Yes, baby? What do you need?" Karina responds as she pulls her face away, waiting for that answer, but doesn't dare stop pumping your needy, achingly hard shaft in her delicate fingers. "Need to be inside me, sweetie? Do you wanna know how good my pussy feels?"
"So badly, yeah," you answer with haste, nearly stuttering over the words as Karina pushes herself into a full mount to straddle your lap. She swings her thighs on either side of you, all spread out so you can get a teasing glimpse of her pussy while she gazes down at you with a sweet smile, your shaft aching against your abdomen. 
"Tell me exactly what you need. Wanna hear it from you, sweetie. Don't get shy on me now."
"Want you to fuck me—wanna be deep inside that beautiful pussy, want you to ride me until you cum. Please." The words  tumble right out, and it's all so embarrassing, but that's exactly what she wanted, isn't it? 
Karina takes your acceptance on her offer with a beaming smile, reaching behind her to grab your aching cock in her palm, keeping a firm grip as she positions herself to guide you inside. The anticipation hits its peak when she lifts her wide hips up, bringing you right against the warm entrance of her slick pussy. 
"Don't you worry. I'll ride you until we both cum." 
Before your next breath, Karina lowers herself—a slow descent onto your cock that spreads her pussy lips apart, sinking into that soaked, wet heat inch after inch. You're coated with all this slickness, and that tight cunt squeezes so goddamn hard as she works you deeper, breath shaky when you hit the deepest parts of her.
"Fuck—it's so big," Karina curses, shifting in your lap for the briefest pause to adjust, bracing herself to take more. “You still with me, sweetie? You’ve gone quiet again.” 
"How can I say anything, when your pussy feels this tight and incredible?"
Karina just laughs. The moment her hips lower again, she’s already in motion, gyrating on you, adjusting to the tight fit. There's no time to process it all, with that hot cunt sliding up and down your length. She doesn't tease, and her movements aren’t the least bit gradual, just the rapid rise and fall of her body.
“You fill me up so nicely, sweetheart,” Karina says, the praise sending you over the moon as she rests her hands on your chest for support.
It's every bit as mind blowing as you'd hoped it would be. Her wetness makes for an effortless movement of her hips, keeping a steady pace right off the bat that leaves you helpless beneath her. "Does that feel good? Do you like how my wet little pussy grips your big cock?"
You want to reply, but that pussy is so perfect, wet and warm all over your aching length. So all that leaves your lips is a strangled moan that has Karina lifting her hips up with more ferocity. You don't dare close your eyes for one instant as she rides you with that sinfully tight cunt, your shaft vanishing inside her slick entrance, over and over. 
Nothing surpasses this—to see Karina so beautiful on top, those luscious tits bouncing whenever she drops back down to fill herself up with your hard cock, only to ride up again and leave you gasping.
"Fuck, love being inside you," you say, trying your best to speak, but it's a challenge when her cunt gets tighter after each wild plunge. Those heavy tits move in motion with her hips, and the sight of her alone has you groaning as she gives it her all, relentless on that cock. "Can't believe how good your pussy feels, fuck—"
"Yeah? You like how I ride you? How I take your thick cock all the way in with ease?" she says, drawing you right back in. 
Karina doesn't stop. The pace gets faster with each drop down on your shaft. It's more than you can handle, watching that perfect body move so effortlessly as she takes you balls deep to make you groan beneath her, so utterly drenched and tight around you. 
You can’t take your eyes off her jiggling chest, how hypnotic the bounces of those breasts get, and this is the perfect chance to take them in your hands once more, squeezing and groping the flesh while Karina fucks herself harder on your cock.
"There you go, play with those fucking tits—squeeze them, smack them, do whatever you'd like." Karina gives the offer, and your fingers are already moving to obey, grabbing a perfect handful of those supple tits that can't even be contained in your palms. 
It's the distraction you desperately need, and the first slap to one of her pale breasts comes so quickly, the pliant skin rippling so nicely under the impact of your hand.
"Fuck, again—slap those fucking tits, baby, just like that," Karina demands, and who are you to deny her? There's not a thing to hold you back, taking turns to slap those wonderful breasts with enough force that they bounce against each strike, and they get so red under your fingers. Each slap gets harsher than the last, earning the best response from her—a tightening grip around your hard cock and loud whimpers whenever your palm makes contact with that supple flesh, turning her creamy skin a darker shade.
All this treatment leaves your cock dripping wet with Karina's slick juices, every part of you soaked as she keeps bouncing her gorgeous body atop your stiff length.
Her mouth stays open to voice her satisfaction with needy gasps and groans, every inch of her pussy stretched around your girth, keeping you deep. Those continuous smacks against her jiggling tits elicit the sweetest whines, reddened so beautifully from all this attention. 
Karina loves it all. So needy for your touch, for this sweet punishment she takes with all the desperation as you smack her tits while she rides your cock. Her movements, they’re hard to handle, hips slamming hard against you as that plump ass bounces on your cock, picking up all this speed. Fucking you harder and harder, those heavy tits never cease bouncing wildly, smacking together when you give a respite to let the sting linger. 
"Fucking love your cock inside me, sweetie—love it so fucking much," she tells you, hips rolling faster to keep the pace going strong, all this wetness and heat smothering you. 
And now you're content to just lie back, taking in the view while Karina rides you, how she takes every inch of your throbbing shaft like it belongs inside her. She keeps a perfect rhythm that buries your cock inside her tight pussy with every impale, so wet and slick when she brings those hips back up to start the entire process again.
"Gonna fucking cum, baby. Gonna fucking cum all over this hard cock. Can you last long enough?" Karina asks with a coy little smirk, not faltering for even an instant as she keeps fucking you, tight pussy clinging so harshly around your length. And to be honest, you don't even know yourself—but Karina seems determined to drain your balls, even if it has you finishing way sooner than you’d like. 
"D-dunno," you answer, knowing that with your hands on her body and those bouncing breasts so mesmerizing, there's only so long before you're pushing past the point of no return. "Probably not—"
Karina lets out a giggle in response that gets ripped right out when she takes you so unbelievably deep, all of your thick cock filling her up in the right way. She's so fucking tight, pale skin glistening with sweat in the light, adding to the view that could get you off from just the sight of her devilish body. "That's okay, sweetie. This cock feels too fucking good to stop."
The next few breaths are all a blur as this becomes a race to the finish. Your eyes stay glued to Karina, unable to look away as her hips move on autopilot. Amidst each movement, she moves quicker with every passing moment, that delicious wetness sliding along your hard length, bouncing her ass each time those thighs slam down on you. The bed squeaks and shakes beneath the constant, rhythmic impact, and you know this can only end one way—
"Shit, sweetheart, gonna fucking cum all over that dick, oh my god—" Karina falls over the edge first, and that cunt grips harder than ever like a vice, nearly unbearable, overflowing with arousal while she quivers above you. Her lips fall open as she looks down with half-lidded eyes, fingernails digging straight into your chest when it hits, every whimpering cry a lovely symphony for you to listen, to watch as it all happens, clinging for dear life while she climaxes so fucking hard all over your cock.
It's incredible, to see the way she loses herself completely to the pleasure, the mess that drowns your shaft while her tight pussy keeps spasming with every gush, and you have to grit your teeth to hold everything at bay. 
“You wanna cum in me, sweetie?" she asks, through ragged breaths, a proud look shining through the bliss on her face, still riding that intense high. 
A question like that only has one answer. 
"Y-yeah, so badly—wanna fucking fill you up," you say, with all the confidence you've ever had. Pushing herself into overdrive, Karina fucks you as fast as her body allows, this mindless, relentless motion of those hips that drives you to the very edge, those big tits bouncing wildly until there's no chance you'll hold back—not a second longer.
And then you fucking spill. You seize her body and keep those hips pinned in place, buried to the hilt as your cock pulsates and throbs inside her warm cunt. Everything fires all at once, flooding right into Karina, thick spurt after thick spurt as she watches the pleasure overtake you. Her walls clench down to milk it straight out of your throbbing shaft as your moans pour out, making sure this huge mess goes where it belongs while you pump her full of cum.
It feels like it’ll never end—so unbelievably overwhelming, your balls emptying right inside Karina, the relief of getting to blow your load inside her for the first time that keeps getting better and better. All your hot seed unloads into her warm pussy, filling her to the brim, and her euphoric gaze help your intense climax linger by the second. 
And when there’s nothing left in your balls, Karina still wears that blissed-out smile as she remains right on your shaft, the weight of her body coming to rest against yours. She weakly runs her slender fingers through your hair and kisses you tenderly, both sharing this moment of pure euphoria.
"Good boy..."
The weight of those words, they nearly make you blow again. 
Karina plays with your hair as she takes those sloppy, lazy kisses, with your spent shaft still nestled deep inside her dripping cunt. You don't dare move, or do anything else. She seems quite content to just stay there motionless, your bodies pressed so closely together as your cock stays warm in her pussy. "Didn't think you had that much left in you, sweetie. Fucked it right out of you, huh?" 
You're much too exhausted to respond, so instead you just lean in for more, letting those lips do what they do best, savoring the taste, the bliss, and all this sweat on your body and hers. 
It's in that moment the realization hits that your relationship has shifted. No longer do you have to listen to Karina get railed through the walls—because it's you who's in her bed now, naked, covered in sweat, with your cum deep inside her, and her lips feel so good on your bare skin that you don’t ever want to leave this position. 
"So—” she says, and her voice hardly sounds out of breath in comparison. “Do you wanna shower first or—do you wanna just go again?“ 
It's the most absurd thing to hear—as if she didn't just drain you, the evidence still deep between her legs. 
“Both."
Not the answer Karina was expecting, but one that leaves her more than pleased as she presses another kiss to your cheek before finally climbing off you. A few careful steps later and she makes her way across the room, your cum slowly trickling down her thighs. Not stopping to clean any of it, she just lets your load drip out as she saunters into the bathroom and leaves the door wide open. 
"Don't keep me waiting, sweetie."
✦ ✦
When you next get wrapped up in these sheets, it’s the exact same picture. But you’re the one on top, lips wandering all over Karina, fingers interlocked while she gets all giggly between kisses. The sweat is still there, and so are the handprints, but this time in a different location, imprinted all over her pale buttcheeks. 
And now you’ve learned that the view from behind is almost as impeccable as it is from the front, to see Karina bent over, those ridiculous breasts bouncing freely like there's no controlling them while you ram into her wet pussy. And then you cum, hard—inside her, of course, because how could you not when you’ve got both of her jiggly tits in your palms, squeezing that magnificent pair as you unload right into her pussy. 
With Karina, there’s no such thing as too much, or too often—not with that body. You make her cum on your face twice, and then she returns the favor moments after. This time, it’s all over her face, absolutely covering her, that fucking picture-perfect face that makes it seem like Karina isn’t real. But she is—and the way she smiles as your cum drips down her gorgeous features proves it.
No longer do you go to bed horny, but exhausted, with Karina lying beside you. Your own bed becomes neglected as your days and nights become spent in her room, listening to her fall asleep, head resting on those perfect breasts that put any other pillows to shame. 
Your mornings start with Karina, greeting her with your head buried between her creamy thighs while the coffee gets brewed. But she doesn’t need you to look after her when her head spins, because she doesn’t get as hungover anymore, with no reason to get drunk off her ass when she has you to help take the edge off whenever she needs it. 
It isn’t a relationship by title, but you certainly have all the benefits, the biggest one being your cum coating those big tits as often as it gets inside her pussy—
“Fuck me again,” she breathes in your ear one morning, seconds after you just finished all over her chest, your cock still painfully hard in between them. You’ve got your hands all over her messy tits when she asks it, fondling the soft flesh slick with cum, making shallow pumps between her deep cleavage, but her greedy little pussy calls to you. 
But before you slip out—a loud knock on the door interrupts out of nowhere. 
"Were you expecting someone?" you ask Karina, but her eyes tell you she's just as confused, face covered with sweat and her hair all disheveled from this hot and heavy session.
"No, I wasn't. Were you?" she asks in return, and neither of you pay it any attention. But the knocks continue, more urgent, more frequent. You don't think it's the neighbors coming to complain—that wouldn't happen this early, and you're mostly surrounded by other students and college grads anyway. "Ugh. Just ignore it. We can continue fucking—"
And that's what you both plan to do. It isn't until the knocks turn into full on bangs that Karina sighs and gives up. "God, fuck. This better be important."
You can see the anger and annoyance written all over her face.
Karina doesn't bother to throw a towel over herself before heading to the door in all her glory, naked and beautiful, still covered in your load, all the sticky, white mess dripping down her chest that she couldn't possibly clean in time before the door swings wide open—
Yizhuo.
It's fucking Yizhuo. Standing there at the doorstep. And there's Karina, all naked, and Yizhuo seems completely unfazed to see her without a shred of clothes.
"Hey," Yizhuo says casually, like this isn't the weirdest thing she could have seen standing in front of her. "Do you usually answer the door naked like this? Was there a fire?"
"When you won't fucking stop knocking and interrupting, yeah. What is it?"Karina sounds so angry that Yizhuo is almost taken back, and you just watch from a distance after slipping your boxers back on. 
"Well, I haven't heard from you in a while. Came to check how you're doing, you haven't shown up at any of the parties lately. Wanted to make sure you're still alive. You could have sent a message if you're too fucking busy to talk—"
"What? I'm not—sorry, I've had a lot of assignments, and—you know," Karina hesitates, stuttering to explain her absence to Yizhuo. She looks at you as if to plead for some support. "I-I'm...fine. Totally fine."
"Assignments, yeah, that's what it looks like you were busy with. Explains why you're all naked and sweaty," Yizhuo says, almost mockingly. But Karina just bites her lip and frantically waves you over.
"What the fuck were you knocking so loudly this early for, then?" 
"To make sure you weren't dead! That's it," Yizhuo retorts, and it's all too funny how this is turning out. Karina isn't even ashamed to have been caught—even more so when you stand at her side, half naked and covered with sweat, just like her. 
"Oh. Hi there, you must be Karina's new boyfrie—"
"He's my roommate!"
Yizhuo raises a brow at that, as if to challenge the excuse. "You have a roommate?"
"He moved in last year," Karina clarifies, with an exasperated sigh. But that isn't what Yizhuo cares about right now, or what she even wants to know—
"And you fuck him?"
"Yizhuo!"
"That's not a no. He's cuter than the last guy I saw you with. Does he have a name?" Yizhuo asks, turning to you instead, and she's all grins as you finally step forward to meet her. "You got a name, or is that only reserved for Karina to scream?"
"Okay, time to leave, you've seen enough."
Karina's more embarrassed than offended. And Yizhuo seems all too amused, but you don't miss that lingering gaze when she gives you a quick scan up and down, admiring all of you—from your bare chest down to your boxers. "Well, I'll let you two get back to fucking—"
"Alright! Time for you to go—have a good day, and text me if you want to meet up, yeah? We'll get something to eat, or have a coffee."
And just like that, the door closes shut behind her, and you can't help but laugh as Karina sighs in defeat and collapses onto the wooden frame. 
"So, that's Yizhuo—" you say, trying to keep it together, but she glares back at you as if it's all your fault that this happened.
"Don't," she mutters. "Not a word, sweetie." 
"She's cute, too."
"What? Oh my god, seriously, do not—" Karina protests, but she just rolls her eyes and gives this faux look of annoyance as she pulls you closer. "Do you wanna fuck her too?" 
"I didn't say that," you reply, and without even getting a chance to explain yourself Karina silences you with her lips. It's all tongue and teeth and it's so damn sloppy that it takes a while before either of you can get another word in.
"You can fuck her if you want. I don't mind. If you think she's cute, that is. Go and fuck her. You have my blessing."
You laugh, still finding all this absurd "I don't—Karina, that's not what I meant. It's fine. I like what I have." 
"And what is that?" Karina ponders, peppering your face with kisses.
"A hot roommate with amazing tits that lets me cum inside her everyday,” you blurt out, and Karina just turns beet red from embarrassment. 
"Yeah? Is that all I am to you?" she asks, almost cracking up at the end from her snorting laughter, her arms moving around your waist to tug you closer. "Maybe all you are to me is just a big cock for me to ride.” 
"Well, as long as we've got it all figured out—"
And just like that, your lips crash again in unison.
“But if you want, I can give you Yizhuo’s number. Pretty sure she would suck you off in the middle of a park if you just asked her for the time." 
"Jesus," you mutter, incredulous at the words slipping from her lips. "Didn't you say she was your best friend?"
"Oh, she is. But she's also the biggest slut I know." Karina has the widest grin you've ever seen.
You don't even have a word to say to that, but you don't need one when you let those lips overtake yours again. "Weren't we in the middle of something? We’ve still got an hour before I have to shower and get to class, so I better see you fucking me into next week."
And you can't possibly resist that. 
1K notes · View notes
haveateadude · 3 days
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hi there! would you mind writing ellie x reader who are still in a semi-new relationship, but it's the first real relationship reader has ever been in and she's so touch starved & afraid of asking ellie for affection? you can add on whatever you'd like. thank you so much!!
touch starved
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summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ you're touch starved, but ellie loves cuddling and kissing.
warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ none, just fluff :)) like, it's so sweet it makes your teeth rot so maybe that's a warning
author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ to the person who requested this, i hope u like it!!!! i tried my best :)) i haven't gotten a request since i was twelve years old and writing on wattpad, so this is kind of exciting. anyway, love youuuu, hope you're having a wonderful day!! btw sorry this is short and late, life's kicking my ass lately
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Ellie and you have been dating for a while, but this doesn't mean you still don't get insecure about some stuff. You've never dated anyone, and dating her—the most perfect woman to ever exist—makes you question if you're doing the right thing sometimes. Like, is it okay if you ask for a hug? Or maybe ask for a kiss? Do people even ask that? Or do they just do it, no questions involved?
You sigh, rubbing your hands on your thighs as you look at Ellie, who's taking pictures of the field you're both having a picnic in. She has her hair up in a half bun, her hands holding the camera, slightly squinting her eyes while she's sitting on her toes. She looks beautiful as you sit next to her, and you can't help but feel a pang of anxiety in your chest.
It's not just anxiety, though. It's a deep, aching need that you can feel in your bones. You've always craved touch, even from a young age. You remember being a kid, sleeping on your childhood bed, hugging your stuffed animals, hoping someone would hug you like that—hoping your mother would come into the room and say nothing but hug you. She never came into the room, though. You would lie there for hours, loneliness your only friend.
Now you've got Ellie, but you don't know how to ask for affection. What if she calls you needy? The fear of rejection creeps through you.
Ellie snaps a picture, then looks at you. Her gaze lingers for a second before she's smiling. "You okay?"
"Yeah," you reply as she crawls over to you, "I'm just enjoying the view."
"The view is nice," she agrees, setting the camera down, then sitting next to you. She brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, a small gesture that makes your heart skip a beat. "But I like this one better."
Your breath catches in your throat, feeling like you're starved for this type of intimacy as you lean into her hand, her fingers now resting on your cheek, thumb caressing your cheekbone. You press a kiss into her hand, hoping she doesn't notice how nervous you are. Is this the right time to ask? Well—
"Can I ask you something?" you ask suddenly.
"Of course," she responds, her hand leaving your cheek to rest at your hip. "You can ask me anything."
"Is it okay if I ask for a hug? Or... a kiss?" You cringe at your words as soon as they leave your mouth. You shake your head as you force a laugh, avoiding her eyes. "It's a dumb question, sorry."
"Hey, that's not dumb," she says, taking your chin and gently making you look at her. "It's okay if you want to ask, but you don’t really have to—you can just come up to me and give me a hug. I will hug you back and I won't mind. Same thing with a kiss."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah... you're doing great, you know that? With the whole relationship thing, I mean. I love you, and I love having you as my girlfriend, so if you want more, you can just say it."
You smile as she kisses your forehead. "You're the best."
Ellie chuckles, then opens her arms. "C'mere," she says. You lean into her touch as she holds you, her hand rubbing up and down your back in a soothing manner. This is the best hug you might've ever gotten. You feel as if your heart is about to burst open from all the love you're feeling now.
"I think I've always wanted this," you admit quietly, your voice muffled against her shoulder. "Ever since I was a kid, I've dreamed of being held like this."
"You're lucky you have me, then. I love holding you like this."
As you sit there in her arms, her words sink into you, and you realize that maybe asking for what you want isn't as scary as you thought it'd be. With Ellie by your side, you feel like you can handle anything. You pull away slightly and press a soft kiss to her lips, feeling the tension melt away as she kisses you back.
When you finally pull away, you see the understanding and love in Ellie's eyes, and it reassures you more than words ever could.
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stylesharrys · 3 days
Text
The Box | Part One [Boxerry]
When Y/N’s brother dies unexpectedly, Harry breaks the news that she now owns an illegal underground fight club. While she wants nothing to do with that lifestyle, Harry is determined to not let her brother's dream die with him. 
A/N: so this was the Patreon exclusive series that I decided to bring over here to share with you guys. I wanted to turn it into one long fic for you guys but it was over the block limit so I've had to split it into two parts. It’s still a hefty one so grab some snacks and get comfy, and please be sure to read through the warnings before continuing <3
Warnings: (in no particular order, for both chapters) mentions of death/loss of a sibling and grandparent, mentions of miscarriage, unsupportive parents, swearing, brief descriptions of illegal fighting, money laundering, use of weapons, brief mentions of alcohol, mentions of anxiety, schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder, smut; kissing, teasing, dirty talk, fingering, protected sex, oral (both receiving/69)
WC: 19.6k
//
In her 24 years of life, Y/N has only ever been to two funerals. Her first was when she was twelve, to the funeral of her great grandmother. Given, she didn’t know exactly what was happening, but she understood enough. She cried the entire time. 
The second funeral she attended was her aunts. Just five years ago when she died in a freak car crash that killed twelve innocent people. Y/N was nineteen, fresh out of school and ready to start her new job, almost putting her deposit down on her new flat. She cried the entire time. 
And now, at age 24, she stands at her brother's grave. The same brother that taught her to tie her shoes, that saved her from playground bullies. The brother that helped her move into her flat, that checked in on her when she wouldn’t eat for days while under the stress of their parents. The brother that comforted her after bad breakups, that taught her to fight and defend herself. The brother that risked and sacrificed so much, to give her the life she deserves because her parents labelled her a castaway. 
She was the family disappointment because she didn't have her life figured out. Because she took up a job caring for the elderly, opposed to following in her mother’s footsteps and becoming a successful surgeon, or basking in her father's shadow of his worldwide corporations. 
Both her mother and father standoff to her side, sniffling back tears of heartache as they comfort one another. Y/N won’t allow herself to mourn for her best friend with them. She won’t let them see her broken and ruined for her brother. Not for them to scold her, to tell her to pick her chin up and stop acting like a child. 
She holds it all in as the rest of the funeral party disperse. It’s a fairly large turnout, even if Y/N and her parents don’t know or recognise half the mourners there. They told Y/N they knew him from the fights. Y/N told her parents they knew him from the docks. Even dead, his secret is safe with her. 
Her cheeks are damp but not from tears. The wind has been lashing against her body for the past hour of the service and her eyes are still stinging. She doesn’t have to look in the mirror to know that her nose is angrily leaking, or that her eyes look awfully bloodshot. 
She continues to hover at her brother’s grave, hoping maybe her parents will fuck off and let her have this moment alone. They don’t. They stand behind her, a few feet away, eyes on their daughter like hawks. Like she’s the unstable one. She has to scoff to herself.
Y/N lets her eyes run over his burial once more. Sammy Y/L/N. A loving son, brother and friend. She promises she’ll come back later, when their overbearing parents aren’t breathing down her neck and she thinks she knows exactly what Sam would say to her. 
“Don’t say anything stupid. This is my day, remember.” 
She has to fight back the teary smile that tugs on her lips and she turns around to her parents. Her hands are shoved in her coat pocket, shoulders hunched up to offer some form of protection to her ears against the lashing winds. 
David reaches for her first, arm outstretched to coddle his daughter to his side. Y/N lets him — needs that comfort today even if it is just from her father. He kisses the top of her head, his wife, Layla, coddling in his other side and David feels a little relief, having both his girls on his arm. 
“I hope you’re going to stay for the wake,” David asks softly. Y/N doesn’t miss the huff that slips from her mother's lips and she knows her dad has no doubt just pinched her shoulder because of it. She isn’t going to let them get her down, especially not today. 
She nods. “I am.”
When they return to Y/N’s childhood home, she feels sick. She hasn’t been back here in almost four years and the last time she did, she got into an argument with her parents and Sam was the one to take her home and spend the weekend to make sure she was okay. 
This time, she’s there because of him and he isn’t there to save her. 
Nothing has changed. It’s still the same slightly outdated furniture but she can tell Layla got David to re-wallpaper the lounge. It’s quite busy, if she’s being honest, and Y/N’s feeling a little exhausted in preparation of cleaning up any little slip of the tongues these randoms let out. 
The buffet has already been tucked into, Y/N’s grandparents having set out a lovely spread of Sam’s favourite finger foods from when he was younger. It’s solemn and quiet, save for the small bits of chatter between mourners and Y/N feels more than a little lost.
She’s shrugging her coat off and throwing it over the sofa, rubbing her hands together to get some friction of warmth back in her blood. The house is full of more unknown faces than it is with friends and family. They seem to keep to themselves in a separate part of the house and as much as Y/N wants to avoid them, intimidated and somewhat uncomfortable, she sucks it up and shimmies over with a tray of canapes. 
The closer she gets, the less unfamiliar they look. She notices a couple of them, some faces she saw when Sam would pick her up from a failing date, or when she would go to his place for lunch and they would be just leaving. They’re all quite stoic, the seven of them and she clears her throat, a small, tight-lipped smile on her face. 
The men part just enough to open their circle to her and she’s faced with tall figures and broad shoulders. In her small glory, she has to raise her chin to meet their gaze and she offers up the tray of finger food close to her chest. 
“Um, thank you for coming. Sam would’ve appreciated it,” she mumbles the words Layla had been drilling in her head all morning.
They don’t say anything and Y/N lets out a shaky breath. “I take it you knew him from the fights?” She doesn’t miss the way their eyes widen slightly and two of the seven shift a little in their spot. 
She laughs breathily. “It’s alright. My brother was my best friend, I knew about it all. Our parents still don’t, though. So I’d appreciate it if it stayed that way. They don’t need to know what he was really doing when he said he was at work.”
A few nod but she’s too busy staring at her feet to notice it. “So you’re Y/N?” A timid voice perks up and Y/N snaps her gaze to the tall blond directly opposite her. She nods shyly, eyes heavy and shoulders sagged. 
The blond nods again. “Spoke about ya a lot, he did. Always said if anything happened to him, it was us that had to look out for ya,” he smiles sadly and Y/N really can’t help the tears that pool in her eyes. Typical Sam. Always looking out for his baby sister, even from the dead. 
Her eyes rake over the group, some too solemn to make eye contact and others staring at their drinks. But the man to her right doesn’t look away from her face. His bright green eyes are captivating, to say the least, his broad shoulders making his 6ft frame even larger than it is and his wispy brown hair is barely styled but it sits well in a central parting, swooping just a little across the sides of his temples. From where she stands, his jaw and chin are a little stubbly, lips pink and a little damp from his drink. 
He looks familiar, Y/N thinks she might’ve seen him in a few fight photos Sam had shown her before, and she can’t tell if he recognises her or not. Though, if she did see a picture of him before, she’s sure he would be in boxing shorts and a tight t-shirt, not a slick black suit with a white shirt and tie. He makes no effort to break the intense gaze he’s offering, so Y/N does. She wills herself to look away and scratches nervously at the side of her neck. 
“Well, thank you again for coming. It means a lot.” 
// 
It was supposed to be an easy day. She had planned for a small arts and crafts session for the residents and some tea and sandwiches after. Y/N loved planning activities, it usually gave the other staff a chance to take a break or catch up on their paperwork. 
But Dylan had a funny moment that resulted in a gloopy paint bottle being chucked at her head and she’s leaving work sporting a cut on her forehead and a three-hour-old migraine. She isn’t even leaving work at 3, like she usually would. 
She’s coming out of the home at 6 because upon Dylan’s behaviour, he tore up the rest of the group's paintings and broke one of the staff laptops — resulting in two and half hours spent calming him down, administering PRN and writing up several incident reports. 
She’s tired, she’s hungry and she just wants to sit down. It’s cold out, the sky thickening black above her and she knows a storm is due. She quite likes a storm, if she’s honest — just doesn’t much like to drive in them. 
She’s rubbing out a kink in her neck as she approaches her car, eyes too busy rolled back as she walks blindly. Y/N sees the feet first — a pair of Adidas trainers — then her eyes trail up a pair of toned legs that are adorned in a pair of shorts. Her brows are pinched and she looks up some more, notices the man leaning on the bonnet of her car and his toned arms are folded over his chest. 
It’s when she cranes her neck up a little to see his face that her worry is softly eased a little, but not entirely. She remembers him from her brother's funeral three weeks ago. 
“Can I help you?” She asks, voice a little throaty and scratchy. 
He’s got a baseball cap on his head, longish brown hair curling around the rim of it and his ears. His eyes are a little squinted and there’s a heavy stubble that decorates his jaw and chin. Y/N thinks he looks much more intimidating in this attire, opposed to the suit she last saw him in. 
He drinks her in before he speaks. She’s wearing a pair of boyfriend jeans and a knitted jumper, and her hair is half plaited up, the rest falling into natural waves down her back. He thinks she looks quite pretty for an elderly support worker. 
“I’m Harry. I used to box with your brother.” 
She nods, biting at her inner cheek. “Figured that when no one recognised you or your friends at the wake.” She squints at him again, scratching at her sore neck. “Look I don’t mean to be rude, but what do you want? How do you even know I work here?” Her tone holds more accusation as she rambles on and Harry can’t help a somewhat amused smile tug on the corners of his mouth. 
He shrugs. “I have my ways.” His arms are still crossed over his chest but he didn’t answer Y/N’s first question. She raises a brow and Harry inhales heavily before his shoulders sag and he drops his arms to his side. “I need t’ talk to ya about the club.” 
Her brows are pinched harder than before and she shakes her head in confusion, shifting from one foot to the other. “Club? What club?” Her movement allows Harry to see the cut on her smooth forehead and he frowns, reaching closer to inspect it but Y/N’s too quick and with wide eyes, she backs away. 
He realises his forwardness and holds his hands up in surrender; standing straighter. “The underground club. Y’know… the one your brother left to you when he died.” She blinks again, lips parting and she’s blubbering a little like she’s trying to understand what he’s talking about. 
Realisation is quick to wash over Harry’s face and he nods. Of course Sam wouldn’t tell her anything about what she’d be taking over. Typical. 
She takes a deep breath. “Why the fuck would I be left an underground fight club by my brother? He was just a boxer,” she sighs tiredly, punching the bridge of her nose and Harry frowns harder. So maybe she didn’t really know anything about him.
He shakes his head. “Your brother wasn’t just a fighter, Y/N. He owned the club. Sam was the best fighter we had in The Box and he bought it outright five years ago. Always said if anything happened to him, you’d be the one to take it over, do whatever you think best wi’ it.”
Y/N is silent, tears welling in her eyes and she stomps her foot like an insolent child, like she can’t believe this is fucking happening. “You’re telling me I now own an illegal underground boxing club?” Her voice is frantic, high-pitched and whispered through gritted teeth.
Her hands find their way to her hair, gripping on her roots in disbelief. “It’s a good business investment, if you're into that.” He shrugs, arms crossed over his chest again and he’s struggling to understand why she’s so worked up about it. 
If Harry had just inherited a three quarters of a million pound business, he’d be fucking ecstatic. But Y/N isn’t ecstatic and she’s staring at him in complete bewilderment.
“No, Harry. No, I’m not into that. Sell it, give it away, I don’t care. I don’t want it.” She shoves past him, unlocking her car and opening the door. Harry’s watching with wide eyes and parted lips. 
She can’t be serious. 
He closes the door before she can fully open it and she seethes up at him, teeth gritted and all. “You can’t give it away and you can’t sell it! It’s your brother's life.” He fights back and Y/N bursts, veins popping and she pushes him away by his chest. 
“And I can’t fucking keep it! I’m a care worker, for God’s sake! I can’t have shit like that tied to me.” Her hands are waving sporadically, chest heaving in panic as she rips her door open and clambers in the car. 
Harry’s gripping onto the door, preventing her from shutting it. He never meant to show up and send her in a spiral of anger and panic. Harry digs into his pocket, pulling out a little business card and handing it to her, waiting for her to take it. 
“Look, jus’... jus’ sleep on it, yeah? My number and the club's address is on this, jus’ take it ‘n think about it. Please.” 
She eyes the card sceptically, gnawing on her inner cheek. She knows he’s right, that she shouldn’t ruin her brother's legacy with one shitty, selfish decision she makes. But she also knows that she’s right — that she can’t afford to have that kind of business in her name. 
Y/N looks back up at Harry, lets her heart flutter a little under his gaze despite knowing these are awful circumstances to get butterflies under. But she sees the desperation in his eyes and she supposes maybe it’s because he wants Sam’s life to carry on through the business. 
She takes the card and drives off.
//
“Why haven’t you been to see your brother?” 
Y/N closes her eyes for a moment, struggles to keep herself in check. It’s been a long day and the last she needs is her mother chastising her on her break. 
“Because I’ve been working double shifts all week, Mum.”
She hears her mother huff from the other end of the line, no doubt rolling her eyes. 
God, why did Sam have to leave her all alone in this godforsaken world? Why did he have to get in that fucking car? 
Deciding that Y/N does not want to be spending the last few hours of her shift fighting back tears, she cuts her mother off before she can think of anything else to question her on. 
“Look, I’ve got to go. Meds round is in the next half hour so I need to get things sorted.”
The line is cut off as quickly as she speaks. Y/N tries not to get too into her head about her mother. About the lack of compassion the woman has shown her during both childhood and now, early adulthood. 
If she allows her mind to wander down that path, she’s not sure she’ll ever find the exit. 
She leaves the office after allowing herself a moment to compose herself. Across from her, the little light above ROOM 13 flashes and she smiles to herself.
She’s outside the door within seconds, knocking softly before letting herself in. “It’s Y/N… are you okay, Mary?”
The elderly woman sits in her chair, a ball of wool in her lap as she continues knitting. There’s a childlike grin on her lips, eyes full of excitement as she stares at her favourite carer. 
“I didn’t think you worked Mondays!” 
Y/N laughs, taking a seat next to her. She takes it upon herself to unravel a little more string for her. 
“I don’t. I’m covering for Frankie. I should’ve come and said hello sooner, it’s just been a bit busy today, Mary. I hope you can forgive me.”
Mary smiles broadly, nudging Y/N with her elbow. “You know you’ll always be my favourite, Penny.”
She smiles at the nickname. Mary has called her that since her first day at the home all those years ago – when Y/N gave her a penny from her purse for her scratch card and she won the jackpot. That was it. Y/N was Mary’s lucky penny. 
“How are you feeling today?”
Mary hums. “Oh, I feel so wonderful. My grandson is coming to visit today. And as far as I can remember... you’re still single, aren’t you?”
Y/N rolls her eyes playfully with a huff. “You’re not setting me up with your grandson, Mary.” 
She pouts, unhappy. “Why not? He’s a handsome lad and you’re very beautiful. You’d make such gorgeous great grandbabies for me!”
Y/N almost chokes on her tongue, blinking fast as she tries to catch her breath. “Mary!” 
“What? It’s not like I’m getting any younger!” 
She can’t quite believe her ears. Mary has talked about her grandson a few times, but she’s never once alluded to setting him and Y/N up. She does not need her patient getting involved in her love life. 
“He’s a handsome young man, your age… maybe a couple years older. And he’s a personal trainer! Even runs the gym he works at!” 
Y/N pinches the bridge of her nose, eyes closed. She’s wondering if she’s got enough time to escape the building before her grandson arrives. She wouldn’t put it past Mary to scour the entire home for her. 
“Oh, really?” she asks, playing into it for Mary’s sake. 
She grins as she nods, looking back down to her knitting. 
“And what’s his name?” Y/N asks, fiddling with the yarn between her fingers. 
Mary gasps. “Harry!” 
Y/N eyes widen at the volume of her voice, looking at Mary, who’s looking at the door.
“Hello, Gran.”
Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding. 
“Of course it fucking is,” Y/N mumbles under her breath. 
She stands, plastering a kind smile across her lips. Harry sees right through it, hiding his own smirk as he takes her in. Her attire is completely different from when he saw her last week. 
Her hair is a bit shorter, and instead of her jumper and jeans, she’s wearing a pair of black leggings and a purple nurses shirt. 
“Nice to meet you, Harry.” She extends a hand to him politely, which he more than happily takes. 
He can see how much this pains her. 
Mary clears her throat. “Harry this is Y/N… but I like to call her Penny.” 
He raises a brow, looking between his Gran and Y/N. 
“Oh, so this is Penny?” He looks at Y/N. “I had no idea you were my Gran’s favourite. She talks about you all the time.”
Y/N smiles through pursed lips, feeling a little embarrassed, though she’s not sure why. 
“Thank you for looking after Gran, it’s lovely to meet you, Penny.”
She smiles tightly, nodding her head before quickly combing through her brain for an excuse to leave. 
Y/N knows it's only a coincidence that the same man trying to get her to take over her dead brother’s underground fight club is also the same man that is her resident's grandson, but it still makes her head spin a little too much. 
“I’ve got to get started on teatime meds. It was lovely to meet you again, Harry.” 
She excuses herself as quickly as she can. Walking into the meds room, she feels like this is Sam’s way of forcing her hand. She looks up to the ceiling with a frustrated huff. 
“Even from the dead, you’re a pain in my ass.”
A knock on the door makes her jump and as it slowly peels open, her eyebrows furrow. “What are you doing? You can’t be in here!” 
Harry closes the door as he shuffles inside, hands up in feign surrender and there’s an apologetic look in his eyes. 
“I’m sorry if me being here freaked you out a bit. I only visit Gran on Mondays because Sam never wanted us boys bringing trouble around you. I swear, I didn’t know you’d be working today. You’ve never worked Monday’s.”
Her shoulders slack as she exhales deeply. “He didn’t want you bringing me trouble, and yet he’s the one that left an entire illegal business to me.”
Harry huffs out a laugh. 
“If he was secretly loaded, why couldn’t he have just left me some cash instead?” 
“Honestly? Because he knew no amount he left you would equate to what you could earn running The Box. He’s only ever looked out for you, you know?”
Y/N scoffs out a laugh, shaking her head as she turns back to her paperwork. “I would’ve preferred it if he left me nothing. If Sam trusted you so much, why can’t you just take it over?” 
“Because he didn’t leave it to me.”
“No,” Y/N huffs. “Instead, he left it to his clueless little sister who could really do without the hassle.”
Harry purses his lips shut, stuffing his hands into his pocket. If it weren’t for his bestfriend’s passing, he’d probably bark out a laugh at Y/N’s little strop. 
“Look,” he begins. “No one is expecting you to take it over and know what you’re doing. Why else did you think he asked me to talk you through it?”
Y/N turns to him, a little pissed off. “And you couldn’t have started with that?”
She’s starting to feel like she could have a breakdown at any given moment. The last thing she needs is taking over an illegal underground boxing club with her dead brother’s friend showing her the ropes. 
“I can’t deal with all of this right now. I need to get this meds round done, so if you don’t mind…” Y/N gestures to the door, her other hand on her hip. 
She doesn’t make eye contact, her gaze fixed on the floor beneath her. Harry sighs, nodding more to himself than her as he reaches for the handle.
“You have my number. Don’t be afraid to use it.” 
She stays silent as he leaves the meds room, a shaky exhale slipping past her lips as the door closes shut. She feels guilty, for being so snappy and rude. But Y/N isn’t sure how else she was expected to react. 
Her big brother dies in a freak car accident, leaves a multi-million pound illegal business in her name and she’s supposed to just be okay about it? 
Her heart hurts. For herself, for Sam. God, she misses him. She just wants to wake up from this bad dream and talk to her big brother about her day.
Y/N wonders what he would say to her right now if he could. Would he hug her and tell her it’s okay? Remind her that she doesn’t have to go through with this if she dosn’t want to?
She scoffs to herself. No, Sammy would be selfish. I looked after you, now you need to look after my legacy. She can hear his voice in her head, clear as day. It makes her smile, for a brief moment, before she’s overcome with sadness and anxiety once again. 
In all honesty, Y/N needs to get her head out of her ass. If Sam had asked Harry to show her the ropes and help her into this transition, then perhaps she should be taking this a little more seriously.
She rolls her neck, taking a deep breath. She’s back to staring at the ceiling, like somehow it’ll connect her to heaven radio and she has to laugh at herself. 
“I hope you’re pleased with yourself up there.”
//
Y/N stands outside, toes wiggling in her converse as she gnaws on her inner cheek. The building is a tall, dance academy, decked out with the poshest of entrances and Y/N tilts her head to the side. There’s no way in hell this is The Box. 
Her squinted eyes flicker back to the card. Not much is on there – an address, Harry’s name, and number. She contemplated calling him before showing up, but she knew if she planned to do this, she would’ve backed out. 
So instead, very spontaneously, Y/N drove here right after her shift – not even allowing herself time to rethink or second guess herself.
Gnawing on her bottom lip, she makes her way inside the entrance. It’s quite grand, beautiful even. The ceilings are tall, marble floors. If she’s honest, she feels extremely out of place with her slightly scuffed Converse padding across the ground. 
She makes her way to the reception desk tentatively, tapping the business card on the knuckle of her thumb. The blonde woman looks up with a smile, though Y/N’s sure she’s likely judging her in her mind. 
“Hi, can I help?” Her voice is soft as she speaks and Y/N clears her throat. 
“I’m not sure,” she chuckles nervously. “My name’s Y/N… I’m Sam’s sister. I, uh… I’m looking for Harry?”
The receptionist's smile no longer meets her eyes as it begins to shrink. The look on her face makes Y/N’s stomach twist slightly, her polite smile faltering. 
The blonde woman looks at her for a moment – it’s like a flicker of grief passes through her eyes before she quickly composes herself again. She fiddles with something under her desk, retrieving what looks like a key card and handing it to Y/N. 
“You’ll be needing this. It’s the first door to your left, just down that hall.” She nods her head over to the other side of the reception and Y/N takes the card with pursed lips and a tight smile. 
Nothing can ever describe the fear and anxiety that bubble in her tummy. If she’s being completely honest with herself, she’s terrified of what she’ll see behind that door. What harsh reality of Sam’s life she’ll be privy to. 
It’s the closest she’s felt to him since he passed, and yet she’s never felt so distant in her entire life. 
Behind the door, is a set of stairs. They lead to an extremely large expanse of a basement; concrete floors, and concrete walls. The lighting is dim and to her surprise, the place is bustling. 
Three large boxing rings sit in the length of the basement, and gym equipment is spread out across the far right of the stairs entrance. She can see a small shower sign to her left, and right in front of her, she notices him. 
He’s sweating, struggling to catch his breath. His hands are resting on his knees, his back hunched over slightly as he lets out shallow pants to gain control of his breathing. 
Harry and his opponent stand in the middle of the ring. There’s a cocky grin on his lips as he stands up straight, tearing the Velcro on his gloves as he tugs them off his hands and throws them out of the ring. Jason, Harry’s sparring partner, waddles over, face beet red and chest splotchy. 
“Good fight.” He shakes Harry’s hand, a tired yet smug look on his face and Harry can’t help but roll his eyes when he pulls away, taking out his gum shield as he does so. 
He grins. “You tried.”
The sight of him makes Y/N’s chest heave. The sweat adoring his tattooed chest and torso, the way his golden skin glistens under the dim lighting. 
She feels a bit more suited in this environment than she did upstairs. At least down here, she isn’t self-conscious about her tatty converse. 
Y/N takes a moment to compose herself, letting her eyes flutter around the other trainers. She doesn’t recognize any faces, not even any from Sam’s funeral. 
And amid her surveillance, Harry notices her presence. He’s unwrapping the bandage across his knuckles as he watches her, ignoring Jason’s words about going for drinks for Tony’s birthday. 
When Y/N turns back to Harry, their eyes finally meet. She offers a nervous smile through pursed lips, barely raising her hand from the side of her body in a timid wave. 
“Hey, you hitting the showers or what?” Jason’s voice breaks Harry from his little trance and he hums. 
“Yeah. I’ll meet you guys later.” 
Harry’s crouching under the top rope of the boxing ring, climbing over the bottom two, and jumping off the platform. He approaches Y/N with a breezy smile, his eyes light and welcoming. 
“Hey.” 
Y/N clears her throat. “Hi.” 
There’s a moment of silence between them both. The gym winds down as more people head for the lockers and showers. Y/N notices and supposes it’s closing time. 
“Are you closing?” She finally asks. 
Harry looks around them. “Oh… yeah the guys are going for drinks for someone’s birthday. We open back up at 11 for the midnight fights.” 
She raises an eyebrow. “Midnight fights?” 
Harry nods. “Yeah… training during the day and then we host fights on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights.” 
Y/N chews on the inside of her cheek, nodding slowly as she takes his words in. Harry can read her like a book and can tell she’s slightly overwhelmed but even more so, she’s intrigued. 
He scratches the back of his head. “I can show you to Sam’s office if you want to talk?” 
It takes Y/N a moment to consider Harry’s offer. She’s unsure if she’s mentally and emotionally prepared to see her late brother's office. She’s not sure how it’ll make her feel. 
But if she can drive here after work without thinking about it too much, she supposes seeing Sam’s office would be better done spontaneously than planned. Because if she allows herself to think and ponder and doubt, she’ll never make it past the door. 
So she nods her head with a soft ‘okay’ and Harry leads her through the gym. 
Y/N notices the lock on the door first, then the key that Harry pulls out of his pocket. She wonders how close he and Sam must’ve been for Harry to have access to the office.
He pushes the door open and flicks on the light, allowing Y/N to enter first. She takes her steps slowly, tentatively. The office is small, nothing fancy. There’s an oak desk, an office chair, some filing cabinets, and framed photos of past fights on the walls. Photos that she does not have the strength to acknowledge right now. 
Harry closes the door behind them both and drops the key on the desk. “I’ve been coming in here every day. Just to keep on top of things until you were ready to take over.” 
His words are slightly muffled as he squeezes his head into a tight t-shirt, tugging it down his still-damp torso. 
Y/N turns to him, a little overwhelmed as the tears begin to gather. “I don’t think I can do this,” she laughs tearfully. 
Her arms are raised by her sides as she looks around the place. “Look at all of this. I have no idea about fighting or training. How the hell am I supposed to do this? Why did he think I could?” 
There’s pity in Harry’s eyes and he purses his lips, upset for her. “Sam needed to know you’d be looked after if anything happened to him. He liked the idea of you continuing his legacy and inheriting all the riches that come with it.” 
Y/N scoffs through her tears. “This is a lot, Harry. It’s not like he’s left me his hamster.” 
He bites back a smile at her words. He knows if Sam could see his sister now, he’d be rolling his eyes and calling her a drama queen. 
“Were you close? You and Sam?” She asks. 
Harry takes a shaky breath, nodding slowly. “We were best mates. We were partners.” 
Y/N’s eyes widen, eyebrows raised to her forehead in shock and Harry is quick to clock on to what she’s assuming. 
“No!” He blurts. “Not like that, Jesus fucking Christ. Partners in the company, I mean.” 
Y/N’s body visibly relaxes at the statement but it’s quickly replaced with confusion. 
“Wait,” she holds her hand up. “If you’re a partner, why does it matter that I take over? Can’t you just have the company to yourself?” 
Harry frowns. “No, Sam is the sole owner of this place. I helped him run things. I have twenty-five percent and you now own the rest. Sam left that to you. Which is why I’ll be the one showing you the ropes. Sam would arrange the illegal side of things – you know, book in the fights, set up bets and stuff. I would do the more legitimate side. Membership fees, taxes… keeping everything under the radar and looking kosher.” 
She takes a seat in the chair, closing her eyes for a moment. “Okay,” she whispers, more so to herself. “So… what is this then? Disguised as a gym?”
Harry chuckles softly, planting his bum on the edge of his desk. “Basically. We’re registered as a business, a gym. We keep the fights quiet though. You only know about them if you’re invited or scouted.”
“Scouted?” 
Harry nods. “Yeah, there’s a whole network of underground fighting. The Box is one of the most elite. You don’t get to fight unless you’re scouted by us, and you don’t get to watch unless you’re invited and you pay.” 
It’s a lot to take in, Harry knows that. But if Y/N is going to take over half the company, she needs to know the ins and outs of everything – no matter how dark or dodgy it may be. 
“We charge memberships through card, so we have something to declare and pay taxes on. As for the fights–”
“Let me guess, paid in cash; same with the bets. That’s the real money maker, you don’t have to declare cash.”
Harry nods slowly, impressed by her ability to connect the dots. Unlike most people, Harry has no issue trusting her with every secret within the company. She’s Sam’s blood. And this place was Sam’s everything. He wouldn’t dream of leaving it in untrusted hands. 
“I’ll be blunt here, I am not cut out to be running anything illegal.” She admits blatantly, not even thinking of entertaining the idea.
Harry gets it, completely. “That’s fine. If you would rather handle memberships and the legitimate side of the business, I can handle the rest.” 
Y/N doesn’t expect him to be so understanding. To be frank, she doesn’t know what she expected from Harry. She figured all her brother's boxer friends would be cold and calculated. Not a gorgeous, kindhearted 6ft teddy bear. 
“I know this is a lot to take in all at once, but if you’re happy to, I can show you how we work around here.” 
What feels like an hour, is three. And by the time Harry has explained the basics and the logistics, it’s nearly 9:30 p.m. and Y/N’s stomach is rumbling. The loudness of it has heat rising to her cheeks and Harry chuckles. 
She’s grown a little more relaxed around him in the two and a half hours they’ve spent in Sam’s office. Her Converse have been kicked off and her cardigan is long gone. She’s still sitting in the chair and Harry leans his bum against the desk, just a few inches from her. 
“D’you wanna order food or call it a night?” He asks. 
Y/N looks up at him. She’s ashamed to admit she’s enjoying this time with Harry. It’s been a long time since she’s felt so consumed in something that she hasn’t thought about how sad her life is right now. 
“Oh, sorry I’ve been here a while. You’ve probably been wanting to go home for ages,” she laughs nervously, feeling slightly embarrassed. 
Harry is quick to shake his head. “No, not at all. Besides, I’ve got to stay here for the fights tonight anyway.” 
“Oh, right. Yeah. Do you mind if I stay?” She asks. 
Y/N supposes that she may as well cram as much into one night as she can. Even if that does include watching illegal fights in this new business she co-owns. 
Harry nods, taking a sip of his bottled water. “If you feel okay, stay. I know this is a lot to take in. Don’t think you have to do everything all at once.” 
She appreciates his consideration, and maybe she’s not as mentally prepared for tonight and she’s letting herself think, but that doesn’t change her mind. 
Y/N can’t fight this inheritance. Harry won’t let her and she knows she’ll regret it if she walks away from Sam’s pride and joy. So she might as well suck it up the best she can. 
“I can’t escape this now, Harry. If I’m going to be in this, I’ve got to be all in, right?” 
Harry isn’t sure where her change of attitude has come from, but he hopes tonight doesn’t have her coiling back into that previous mindset of wanting nothing to do with the business. 
So he nods at her and offers an apologetic yet appreciative smile. And looking at her, he takes a moment to admire the beauty of her. She’s nothing like Sam, not look-wise anyway. 
She’s much more attractive than he was. 
“So… do you want pizza or something else?” Y/N asks, tapping away on her phone to begin an order for food. 
Harry purses his lips. “Oh, I can’t eat until after the fight. But order whatever you want on the company card. I’ll go up and grab it for you when it’s delivered.” 
She finds it strange, but maybe Harry gets nervous for fight night. She’s not sure why else he wouldn’t eat until after watching illegal fights. 
Y/N orders herself a small pizza and by the time she’s eaten, and Harry has finished explaining the systems, they’re leaving the office to find the trainers in the locker rooms. 
The buzzing atmosphere has an unfamiliar wave of excitement washing over Y/N. The unknown anticipation is like electricity, sending a little shockwave through her body. 
She hasn’t experienced anything like this before, and knowing nothing about how tonight may unfold, it has her on the tip of her toes. Nervous and ready for anything at the same time. 
She thinks she gets what Sam used to say about the thrill he got from fighting. This feeling she’s getting just being stood in the gym before someone’s fight probably doesn’t even begin to compare to the feeling of actually fighting. 
“Everyone listen up!” 
Harry’s voice beckons over every single trainer. All eyes are on him and Y/N. She feels a little nervous like she’s intruding on their work. 
“I’m sure many of you know, but for those who don’t… this is Sam’s sister, Y/N. She is the new partner in the company and will be just as involved in this business as Sam was. If she has any questions, you answer them. Tonight, you’re all to keep an eye out for her. We’ve got a rough bunch coming in and it’s Y/N’s first fight. Now glove up and get angry. We’re undefeated for a reason.” 
As quickly as they paid attention, they were filtering out of the lockers. Y/N won’t admit it but she’s slightly in awe of the respect and power Harry has. 
She would’ve never guessed he could have that effect on people. But as her life has proven, Y/N doesn’t seem to be right about anything. Ever. 
As they exit the lockers, the gym is a lot fuller. At least two to three hundred people are occupying the space. Y/N’s never seen anything quite like it. It’s loud and masculine, and the eager guests put their bets in at the side of the rings. 
“Niall!” Harry calls out, a blond amongst the trainers turning to the owners as he wanders over. 
“Y/N, this is Niall. One of our best fighters and Sam’s protégé.” 
She shakes his hand with a relaxed smile. “I remember you from his wake. Thank you for coming that day.” 
Niall smiles pitifully, releasing her hand. “Your brother was a good fella. Welcome to the team, Y/N. We’re glad to have you in the family.”
She doesn’t question the family remark. She doesn’t have to. Sam had always expressed to Y/N how the boys at the gym were like his brothers. It warms her heart to speak with Niall. 
“Ni, I want you to keep an eye on her for me. Just until I’m done.” Niall nods and Y/N frowns, turning to Harry. 
“Where are you going?” She asks. 
He grins at her, cheeky and cocky. “I'm the first fight. You gonna give me luck like you give my gran, Penny?” 
Y/N can’t hide the way her eyes widen or how heat rises to her cheeks. She doesn’t know what she’s more caught off by. Harry fighting or the unexpected use of her nickname. 
Wherever it is, it has fire licking at every inch of her body. And the smirk he throws her before approaching the ring only adds fuel to her ever-growing fire. 
She’s got fucking whiplash. One minute she’s moping over her brother and the next she’s pressing her thighs together desperately and accepting the fact that she is now, to put it bluntly, a crime boss. 
She turns to Niall with a sheepish smile and attempts to relax her shoulders. Niall seems to see right through her shaky facade and he lets out a cackle of a laugh before throwing an arm around her shoulder. 
“Don’t worry, Harry is the dog's bollocks. And it’s okay to fancy him. Most girls do.” 
The ruckus only gets louder, a fairly even mix of chants and boos as Harry approaches the ring and climbs in. Y/N isn’t sure why her heart begins to race. She isn’t sure why she’s instinctively toying with the pendant on her necklace. She has no idea why she’s so hooked and nervous. 
Like she’s worried for him. 
The introductions are a blur, both Harry and his opponent walking the ring for all to see. The referee doesn’t stand in there with them. He stands to the side, an older man with a beer belly and balding scalp, his voice rumbling through the microphone that echoes. 
“This guy’s a fucking nutter.” she hears Niall say beside her, face close to her ear to raise his voice above the noise. 
Y/N’s heart stammers a little faster. “He got banned for a little while. The last time he was here, he bit someone’s pinky finger off. Two years later, and we still haven’t got the blood out of the mat. Osmond has very little perception of pain. The only way to win against him is knocking him clean out, or he can fight all night.” 
She tries her hardest not to let her eyes widen at his words and keeps her gaze focused on Harry and Osmond. He’s significantly larger than Harry – stockier and taller. Y/N thought they’d at least follow weight class guidelines, but now she’s beginning to worry that Harry may barely come out of there with a pulse. 
When the bell sounds and the fight starts, Y/N can’t tear her eyes away. They’re both circling the ring, cautious like lions stalking their prey. Osmond is the first to move, feigning an attack by stomping his foot forward and then easing back. 
The motion goes unphased by Harry, not even a flicker of a flinch. Niall giggles to himself, like he’s not at all worried about his friend. Unfortunately, Y/N doesn’t share the same confidence in Harry that Niall does. How can she? She’d never seen him fight before. 
They grow closer and Harry is bouncing on his toes. Even barely knowing him. Y/N can feel the energy he’s permitting. The confidence, the excitement. She swallows a gasp when Osomond lunges for Harry but he’s quick to dodge it, forcing a fist into the side of Osmond’s face as he bounces back. 
Osmond stumbles for a second, taken aback by the force of Harry’s punch – like Y/N’s not the only one to underestimate the boxer. But as soon as he finds his footing, the fight breaks loose. 
Harry is quick to dodge ninety percent of Osmond’s punches, delivering a blow of his own with every other recoil. His slimmer build and smaller weight works to his advantage. Y/N watches the way Harry moves around his opponent, notices how much quicker his reflexes are than Osmond’s. 
The crowd has grown significantly louder than before and yet it all becomes a bit of a blur to Y/N. She’s enamoured by him, by his every movement. The way muscles ripple with every pinch, how his skin glistens with sweat, and blood begins to drip from the bridge of his nose.  
As quickly as she begins to grow aroused, she stops. Remembering that this was her brother’s life for years. Fighting like this, with little to no rules and people betting on him to win or lose. 
So caught up in her head, she misses the final punch that Harry connects with Osmond’s jaw. Misses the way the larger man plummets to the ground with a thud. She doesn’t notice the straining eyes of strangers as they stare at her from across the basement, watching her every move like hawks. 
She doesn’t notice, but Harry does. Because he’s looking right at her, stuck in her head. He doesn’t like it one bit; how naive she is. In another Universe, maybe he’d admire it. But not in this world – the new world she’s been thrown into. She can’t afford to be unaware of the dangers this place can carry, of the things people are capable of. It’s muffled to Y/N when the crowd begins to count down from ten, reality only really fixing her senses when that bell rings again. 
And the fight is over. 
//
She hasn’t been able to stop looking at him. 
Harry’s been cleaned up, dressed in a t-shirt again, and counting the money he’s won from the fight. He flicks the notes from one hand to another with ease, counting far too quickly but Y/N supposes he’s used to it. 
“What did you think of the fight?” he asks.
Y/N quirks a brow, wonders if there’s a hint of cockiness in his tone, but there isn’t. He’s not boasting about how good of a fight it was, he’s just asking what she thought. 
“Was good. Didn’t know you could fight like that.” 
Harry hums, stuffing the cash into an envelope and offering her a tight-lipped smile. “Most people don’t. I’m used to being underestimated.”
Y/N doesn’t say anything as she sits on the edge of the ring. The Box had cleared out around forty-five minutes ago, just the two of them left now and the clock is ticking ten to three. 
“Think I missed the part where you knocked him out, though.” 
Harry hums. “Yeah, I noticed you were a bit in your head when that happened. You need to stop doing that here moving forward.” 
Y/N frowns, unsure what she should address first. The fact he was watching her during the fight, or that she needs to stop getting in her head. 
“What do you mean?” she settles for. 
Harry stands from the small foldable table beside the ring. “No matter how well you may ever think you know this place and these people, you don’t. It’s a bottomless pit of uncertainty and you need to have your wits about you at all times. People were watching you tonight, trying to suss you out. If anyone smells even a hint of fear or weakness on you in this place, you’re done for – whether you’re a fighter or not.” 
His words hit Y/N a little harder than both anticipated but she supposes it’s what she needed to hear. Because he is right. She gets in her head far too often since Sam’s passing, and Y/N knows it’ll only end up getting her hurt or in trouble. Especially in a place like this. 
So she nods her head, understanding and agreeing. And it’s not like Harry expected her to put up a fight, but he’s at least glad he didn’t make her cry with it. 
“Come on, it’s late. I’ll drive you home.” He offers, but Y/N is quick to stand and shake her head, hauling her purse over her shoulder. 
“It’s okay, my car’s outside.” 
He looks at her for a moment, like he’s debating letting her drive alone at this time. But it’s not his business, and he’s not prepared to overstep again. He might’ve promised Sam he’d look out for her, but he’s not about to be overbearing. 
“Okay. Text me when you’re home.” 
She leaves shortly after, allowing Harry a few moments of peace as he finishes the last of his paperwork. A weight sits heavy on his shoulders about tonight. About how dangerous getting tied up in this place could be for Y/N. 
The first day and people are already staring, gawking, surveilling. There’s that unnerving feeling in Harry’s tummy that just won’t go away. The kind of feeling he got before Sam died. 
The memory stings him a little with both grief and guilt. Will there ever be a right time for him to tell Y/N how her brother really died? That it wasn’t just an unfortunate car accident. That Harry’s been watching his back and secretly hers ever since. That the associates of the people who did it were in The Box tonight? 
His phone chimes from beside him, screen alight with one single text from Y/N.
I’m home x
//
Bursting through the doors of Oakdale Care, Y/N’s more than a little pissed off. Not because she’s been called into work on her only day off this week. But because the staff have waited two hours to make her aware of Mary’s fall this evening. And to top it off, they didn’t think to contact her family to notify them either.
Y/N chews into Melanie the second she comes through the door, exclaiming how unprofessional it is that they didn’t contact anyone when this happened. 
Melanie remains quiet, doesn’t know what to say back to that and she knows Y/N’s right in what she’s saying. But in Melanie’s defence, she’s not running the shift. 
“I can call Mary’s grandson now. I’m not running today, Lara is… I thought she would’ve called him?” 
Y/N takes a breath as she stops outside of Mary’s bedsit. She knows she shouldn’t have kicked up a big fuss without knowing everything, but the fact still stands that she and Harry weren’t notified when the accident occurred two hours ago. 
Shaking her head, Y/N peers into Mary’s room. She lays on her back in her bed, eyes closed but there’s a pinch between her brows, suggesting discomfort and pain from her fall. 
“Don’t worry, I called Harry as soon as you called me. He’s on his way now. Has Lara given Mary any pain meds? What’s going on with paramedics?” 
Melanie doesn’t say anything about Y/N calling Harry from home. Honestly, she doesn’t think anything of it. It’s not uncommon for seniors to have patients' family members' contacts on their phones. It comes in handy for situations like this. 
“Oh, okay. Um, yes… Lara gave her pain relief and paramedics said they’ll be here as soon as possible – they’re understaffed and have a lot of more emergent calls.” 
Y/N nods, reaching back to tie her hair up the best she can without a mirror. “Okay, did they say if they’d be taking her in?” 
Melanie shakes her head. “They said they’ll assess her on scene and go from there. If they don’t think her hip is broken, they’ll get her referred for an X-ray tomorrow afternoon. If they can tell that it is, then they’ll take her in.”
Y/N nods. She’s been here long enough to know how it works, it isn’t the first time an elderly patient has had a fall. “Alright, thank you. Can you let Lara know I’m staying for the remainder of the shift, most likely tonight as well?” 
“Yeah, sure. I’ll see if Lara wants you to take over the shift or whatever.”
When Melanie leaves, Y/N quietly enters Mary’s room. She sits on the chair across from the bed and exhales softly. 
“For Christ's sake, Mary… you’re always up to no good.” She whispers to herself, allowing just a moment to get her mind in order so she’s calm enough to explain to Harry fully what’s going on. 
The idea of seeing him under these circumstances irks her a bit. She’s only been to the club once since she was first there two weeks ago, still finding it a little overwhelming to process. And Harry had assured her that it was fine and to take her time, and if once a week is all she can handle right now, then that’s fine, too. 
Y/N feels a little bad. Allowing Harry to run the club alone while she owns the majority of it. It feels a little too cheeky in the worst way and the guilt has been nipping at her for a few days now. 
It doesn’t help that tonight she was supposed to be there, to run through the books and set up some form of timesheet for what days she’d come in. Now it looks like neither of them will be there this evening. 
A gentle knock on Mary’s door disturbs Y/N’s inner turmoil, and she’s met with the devil himself standing in the doorway. There’s worry in his eyes, brows knitted and lips in a fine line. 
“Hey,” Y/N breathes a greeting as she stands from her chair. 
Harry enters the room cautiously, scared he may wake her but also scared of what Y/N may say to him. His eyes flicker between the two women for a moment and Y/N offers a gentle smile. 
“We’re waiting for paramedics to come and assess her. She’s been given medication for the pain. I’m so sorry you weren't contacted sooner. I called as soon as I found out.” 
Harry waves off her apology, knowing it isn’t Y/N’s fault. He takes the seat beside hers as they sit together. Harry’s fingers are intertwined across his chest as he sits back and regards his grandmother. 
Guilt is quick to settle into his stomach. He wishes he visited her more often. When scary things like this occur, he finds himself deep in his head about what he couldn’t and should’ve done better or more. He’s not silly, he knows his gran is getting old, but growing up, Harry always viewed her as immortal — isn’t that how everyone sees their grandparents? As ever-lasting beings who will always just be there? 
“Do you want me to give you some space?” 
Y/N notices his dazed eyes slowly blink her way. He’s not completely with it, may that be through fear, stress or something entirely else. 
Harry shakes his head. “No, you’re fine. Feels a bit reassuring having you in here, if I’m honest.” There’s a hesitant (dare she say, shy) smile on his lips as he speaks. 
Y/N would like to say his words mean something deeper but in reality, she gets it. Family tend to prefer having a member of staff present after something like this — just in case something happens, there’s already someone there. 
She bites down her confused disappointment and a few moments of silence settle around them. 
Y/N picks at her nails while Harry chews at the inside of his cheek; his eyes focused on the clock on the wall beside him. It’s nearing eight in the evening and the home is relatively quiet. There will be a staff swap shortly for the night shift but even then, there won’t be much more noise. 
“Why’s the car park always so busy recently?” Harry asks mindlessly, but the question bewilders Y/N for a second. 
“What do you mean?” She blinks. 
Harry shrugs his shoulders, shifting in his chair. “The amount of cars parked out the front compared to the amount of staff in right now doesn’t match up.” 
It’s Y/N’s turn to shrug her shoulders. “It’s a busy area. A lot of people tend to use the car park if they live nearby and can’t find a space. Plus it’s free.”
A quiet hum sounds from Harry’s throat and Y/N finds herself wondering if he’s satisfied with her answer or not. Then she finds herself confused again as to why she cares. 
“I told Melanie I’d stay for a few hours, or at least until we know what’s going on with the paramedics. So, I most probably won’t be at the gym later tonight. Sorry.” 
Harry shakes his head. “No, don’t be silly. It’s fine. I’ll stay, too. Niall can oversee the gym, it’s just a few lads putting in extra training tonight, there’s no fights anyway.” 
Y/N’s about to reply when a gentle knocking on Mary’s door stops her. Melanie pops her head through, an apologetic smile on her face as she greets Harry with a polite wave. 
“Y/N, is there any chance you can do bedtime meds round? Lana’s speaking with the Head of Care about the fall.” 
She looks to Harry, who nods with a small smile before she leaves the room with Melanie. He’s left with silence and his grandmother's soft snores as she sleeps. His heart races a little with worry of what could’ve happened. If she’d hit her head or if a member of staff wasn’t in the room when it happened. 
It takes a lot of force to shake those thoughts from his head. The what-ifs. He tries to find something else to focus his attention on, but Mary doesn’t have much in her room. 
She’s always been a very simplistic person, never been one for clutter and unnecessary decorations. She has a clock on one wall and the cross of Christ on another beside a photo of her late mother. 
Digging through the pockets of his slacks, Harry retrieves his phone and shoots Niall a quick text. 
Harry: Can’t make it in tonight, family emergency. You okay to oversee the training? 
A few moments pass before the little bubble appears at the bottom of his screen, which is quickly replaced with Niall’s reply. 
Niall: No prob, hope alls ok. Is Y/N in? 
Harry: No. 
Shutting his phone off, he stuffs it back into his pocket. He sits in silence for a few moments, foot tapping against the carpeted floor until he hears a little movement from out in the hall. 
Harry cranes his neck from where he sits in his chair, peering through the crack. Y/N pushes the medication trolley through the hallway, stopping outside of Mary’s door as she enters the room opposite. 
“Evening, Malcolm. I’ve got your medication, mate. Do you want juice or water with it?” 
He smiles at the softness of her voice, of how calm and collected she seems. He listens in as Malcolm attempts to refuse them, fights back a laugh as Y/N persuades him to take it because if you don’t, you know your hair will start to fall out again and you told me Alice doesn’t like bald men.
He takes the medication and she leaves shortly after, moving onto the next room that Harry can’t hear from. 
It’s roughly twenty minutes later when she’s returning to Mary’s room and offering Harry an apologetic smile. She’s got two mugs of tea in her hands as she passes one to Harry and sits in the chair beside him. 
“I find it really admirable, what you do.” He tells her softly. 
Y/N frowns a little, slightly embarrassed by the compliment but she shrugs it off. “I treat them how I’d want someone to treat my grandparents. Really, they’re all like extra Nan’s and Grandad’s to me.” 
He smiles at her, believing what she says. Mary has always boasted about how amazing her Penny is. Harry knows she loves her job and the people she cares for. It makes his heart feel full. 
“Have you always wanted to work in care?” 
Y/N pulls a face as she thinks, a look that suggests no, not really. 
“I actually wanted to be an air hostess,” she laughs to herself, like her dream job is completely irrational and totally out of reach. 
Harry must admit that it does make his eyebrows raise. He doesn’t think he’s ever met someone who shares an interest in something like that. 
“But my grandma passed away in a care home a few years ago. She was unwell, we thought she might’ve had a heart attack or a stroke or something in her sleep. The coroner concluded it was a heartache but it stemmed from a build-up of neglect. The nurses weren’t giving her the medication she needed and things like that. Sam ended up beating the shit out of the manager and he sued them. At my grandma’s funeral, I vowed to her I wouldn’t let that happen to anyone else’s grandparent again.”
Harry blinks at her, lips parted. He’s stunned, to say the least, and his heart feels heavy from her words. He can’t begin to imagine the anger and heartache she must’ve felt. Harry supposes that’s why she got so uptight about Mary’s fall. 
“Jesus. Penny, I’m so sorry.” 
His apology is genuine, she knows that. But she waves her hand to dismiss the condolence. It’s not something she likes to talk about. And she’s not entirely sure why she feels so comfortable sharing that with Harry. 
“What about you?” She takes a sip of her tea. “Have you always wanted to be a boxer?” 
Harry puffs out the air in his cheeks and shifts in his chair. “For the longest time, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I was a bit of a problem child as a kid, so my mum got me into boxing to help me learn respect and discipline. Didn’t think I’d love it as much as I did.” 
Y/N listens intently to his words, watches the way his lips move with every syllable. She comes to the realisation that she could sit and listen to him speak for hours. 
“After school, I started Uni… studying law.” 
The irony in his voice has them both laughing quietly and Y/N has to purse her lips shut to not wake Mary. She can’t imagine Harry wearing a suit and tie all day every day. Though she does remember how handsome he looked at Sam’s funeral. 
“I was on a night out with some friends one night down the pub, and this bloke was just on one. We got into a fight outside and right after, Sam came up to me. Told me he was impressed and invited me to come and train at the gym.” 
It’s funny, really. How in both of their stories, Sam plays such a crucial part. Sometimes Harry does wonder if he would’ve followed through with law school if Sam hadn’t scouted him. Though as much as he tries to imagine it, he can’t see his life for anything other than what it already is. 
“Around the time Gran got unwell, Sam had offered me fights at the club. I knew she’d need private care and fighting would be the only way to afford it. My mum was out of work with knee surgery around the same time, so it was all falling on me. I did what I had to do. I dropped out of Uni and never looked back.”
It’s bittersweet, how his path was paved for him. Harry had to step up and support his family, and whatever plans he had before that had to be pushed aside and forgotten. Y/N finds it quite noble if she’s honest. But there’s sadness and pity in her gut. 
“Where’s your mum now?” She asks. 
Harry takes a sip of his drink. 
“She works for a big publishing firm in the city. She travels a lot, I think she’s in New York at the moment.” 
“Oh, wow.” Y/N’s eyes widen slightly. 
Harry nods his head. “Yeah, she’s a big shot.” He laughs. “My mum sacrificed a lot for me and Gran, I’m trying my best to give it back. She doesn’t know that I pay for all of Gran’s care. She thinks it’s covered by her disability.” 
Her heart hurts but it swells at the same time. Behind that rough and mean exterior, Harry seems to be one of the most gentle and genuine people Y/N has ever met. She just wants to give him a hug. 
“I don’t mean to be nosy, so tell me if I’m overstepping. But as Mary’s keyworker, I handle all invoices and health care… and I know you make a lot of money from the fights. Why do you keep her here when you could afford something more lavish?”
She hopes it doesn’t come off the wrong way — she already thinks it’s incredible what he’s doing for his family. But she can’t help but wonder. 
“Honestly?” He asks, and Y/N nods. “Because of you. She loves living here and she loves you. Whenever I visit, it’s always Penny this, and Penny that. You’ve got no idea how at peace I feel with her living her, because of how incredible you are with her.” 
Y/N’s not sure when the tears began to well in her eyes but when they begin to fall down her cheek, Harry is quick to wipe them away softly with the pad of his thumb. 
They’re both aware of how intimate his little act was, so he’s quick to sit back in his chair and clear his throat. 
“As for the money, I save most of it for my future children and stuff. I don’t want to do this forever, but now Sam’s gone… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to walk away from it. It’s all I’ve got left of him.” 
Everything he says is loaded to Y/N. Future children, her late brother. She’s not sure if she pegged Harry for the type to want children, but she constantly has to remind herself that she doesn’t know him, and every time they speak she learns something new. 
The mention of Sam makes her heart hurt. And in the past two weeks, she’s begun to adopt the same mindset that Harry already has. Now she’s part of it, she doesn’t think she could let the club go. Much like Harry, it’s one of the only things she has left of Sam, too. 
They sit like that for another hour or so, just talking and learning more about each other. Harry shares stories about Mary, and Y/N listens intently to the mirage of the older woman’s life. 
Y/N is about to ask another question when their little story time is interrupted by two male paramedics knocking on the door of Mary’s room. 
Y/N’s the first to stand, offering a polite smile as she shakes both of their hands. “Hi, I’m Y/N, Mary’s keyworker. This is Harry,” she gestures to him, “Mary’s grandson.” 
The two paramedics introduce themselves as Darren and Olli as they lug their equipment into the room with them. Harry sits back to allow them their space as they wake Mary from her light slumber. 
He watches as Y/N softly explains what’s happening and that she needs to be checked over by the nice paramedics. They’re all thankful that Mary doesn’t kick up a fuss about it, and allows Darren and Olli to gently examine her hips. 
“Been a while since a strapping young bloke has had his hands all over my hips… let alone two of ya.”
Harry closes his eyes in embarrassment as Y/N stifles her laugh. No matter how long she’s been caring for Mary, she never fails to give Y/N the giggles. And it doesn’t help when she mumbles something along the lines of ‘I should fall over more often’, under her breath. 
Olli gently pushes pressure on her left hip. “Is that giving you any discomfort, Mary?” 
She shakes her head. “Oh, absolutely not, petal. You can keep doing that.” 
“Gran!”
It’s Olli’s turn to stifle his amusement as he removes his hands from her hips and takes off his gloves. He turns to Harry and Y/N while Darren helps Mary to lay back and pulls her top back over her stomach. 
“From what I can feel, it’s not broken. She may be a bit achy for a couple of days, so keep on top of painkillers but she’ll be fine.” 
An audible gasp can be heard in the room from both Y/N and Harry as Mary gets comfortable in her bed again. Too pent up with both worry and relief, neither of them notice the way Mary looks at them, how her eyes are knowing and clueless at the same time. 
It’s another twenty minutes or so before the paramedics leave to speak with the manager. Harry is quick to sit beside Mary, holding her hand and chastising her about how much she scared everyone. 
Mary is even quicker to roll her eyes and smack the back of Harry’s hand lightly. “Oh, behave, Harry. I’m fine. The yummy paramedics even said so.” 
Y/N can’t help but laugh at the way Harry’s face screws up at her words, quickly tugging his hand from her hold to cover his face with a groan. 
“Harry’s right. You gave us all a scare.” 
Mary looks at her with gentle eyes and huffs. “I’m okay, honestly. And I heard what you said earlier. As much as I love you both, I don’t need a babysitter. Both of you can shoo off and let me sleep. Come back tomorrow.” 
Harry’s about to put up a fight about it, but Mary shakes her head. “No, I mean it. Go on, both of you. Piss off.” 
Neither of them are shocked by her pottymouth. If anything, they’re thankful that’s all she had to say. They both know how venomous Mary’s words can be when she’s pissed off. 
They say goodbye to her shortly after, traipsing back through the hall until they reach reception. Y/N leans over the desk and scribbles a note on a post-it, sticking it to the laptop to notify the staff that she’s left. 
The brisk air of the late-night envelopes them harshly as they leave through the front door, barely given enough time to brace themselves for the frosty impact. 
Y/N’s eyes scan the car park for her car, absentmindedly searching for Harry’s, too. “I’m over there,” she points to her car. “Did you drive here?” 
The question makes Harry’s eyes widen and shoulders slump. “My car was playing up so I took it to the garage down the street. It’s still in there.” 
Neither of them need to glance at their watches to know the garage won’t be open at nearly midnight. Y/N frowns but shrugs her shoulders. 
“S’okay. Where do you live? I can drop you off.” 
The offer warms his heart but not enough to give him hope. “Don’t worry about it, I’m like forty minutes away… I wouldn’t expect you to drive there and back before you even get home.” 
The thought sounds a bit grim to her but she’s not about to leave him on the street to have to walk or pay an extortionate amount (which she’s sure he can afford) on an Uber. 
“Well, you can just crash at mine then. I have work tomorrow afternoon, so I can bring you back and you can grab your car then?” 
It stuns them both for a moment, her words. Y/N’s shocked she actually offered what was on her mind and Harry’s a little bewildered at how willing she is to have him, somewhat of a stranger, in her home. 
He tilts his head slightly with gently pinched brows. “Are you sure?” Ever the gentleman. 
She nods, like she’s trying to convince herself as well. “Honestly, I don’t mind. And it’s not like you’re a complete stranger.”
He laughs at that, he laughs hard. Maybe it’s the tiredness or maybe it’s the relief that Gran’s okay. Either way, he knows what she said wasn’t that funny. 
She leads the way to her car and the drive back to her flat is quiet. Harry sings along softly to the radio, taking note of his surroundings. 
There’s a cherry-scented freshener that hangs from the rearview mirror, a pair of running trainers sitting on one of the backseats and a small knitted blanket folded nearly just by his feet in the passenger footwell. 
Harry thinks she’s the type of girl to have an emergency supply kit in her boot as well. 
She does. 
When they arrive at her apartment building, Harry follows her through the halls. She’s a little nervous, the closer they’re getting to her home. She panics as she struggles to remember if she left it a mess or still has clean clothes and underwear lying about anywhere. 
As soon as she opens the door, she lets herself relax. No wild underwear to be seen, thank god. 
Harry closes the door behind him and looks around. It’s nice, cosy. The walls are decorated with funky artwork and all of her furniture is slightly mismatched but it pulls together well. 
He’s not sure what he expected, maybe something a bit more simplistic and minimalist. This is anything but — it feels a little intimate, like he’s seeing a deeper side to her. He can tell her flat reflects her personality. 
“Cool artwork.” 
She smiles sheepishly, hoping Harry can’t tell how nervous she is to have him in her home. He can. But he doesn’t say anything on the matter. 
“Are you okay on the sofa?” 
“Yeah, honestly I’m just thankful you’re letting me stay.” 
Y/N smiles kindly at him. “Of course. There are blankets in the basket by the TV. Help yourself to anything you want in the kitchen. And the bathroom is just to the left of the dining table.” 
It’s a little awkward for a moment. They’re not friendly enough for this to be normal, and Harry starts to feel that nervous tension too. 
She says goodnight first, sauntering off to her bedroom and closing the door behind her. It takes a moment for Y/N to calm down a little. It’s been a while since an attractive man has been in her home, and she has to remind herself that previous men have been complete strangers for a hookup once in a blue moon. 
Harry’s is not a hookup (unfortunately), and he is not a stranger. She repeats it in her head as she gets into her pyjamas and crawls into bed. 
At least Y/N understands why she feels so anxious. Because Harry can’t put his finger on why he does. Too in his head about being in her home and it feeling so fucking intimate. 
She doesn’t sleep all night. 
Neither does Harry. 
//
It’s been a week since Harry crashed on Y/N’s sofa and she hasn’t been able to look at it the same ever since. It’s been a bit of a struggle to try and wrap her head around these feelings she’s begun to harbour for Harry – she can’t get him out of her head. 
They’ve spoken a couple of times here and there. Mostly him checking in about Gran or a tiny bit of flirtatious banter when she’s visited The Box a couple of evenings. Nothing at all to warrant how she feels at the moment. 
Perhaps that’s why she’s so confused and conflicted. 
And it doesn’t help that the second her mother called, the first thing she asked was if Y/N was dating or not yet. 
“No mum.”
She hears the audible sigh from down the line and pinches her eyes shut to gain some form of self-control. Not today, Y/N – don’t snap at her today.
“Well, there’s a small amount of time left for you, I suppose. Anyway, have you seen your brother today?” 
“Yes, I’m with him now Mum. I see you’ve already been down… the flowers look beautiful.” 
She doesn’t reply to her daughter, not about Sam’s grave anyway. Instead, she changes the subject to something a little lighter. Y/N supposes it’s still hard for her, to talk about her deceased son. The one child she actually adored. 
“Your father wanted me to ask if you’d like to come away with us this weekend?”
Y/N’s brows pinch at the proposition. A holiday with just her parents sounds like a living Hell if she’s entirely honest. And she’s more than a little shocked to even have received an invite. She reckons her Dad probably had something to do with that. 
“Where are you going?” She asks. 
Layla sighs, and Y/N imagines her scrutinising the new manicure she gets every Thursday. “Bora Bora,” she says with little to no enthusiasm. 
Y/N stares at Sam’s headstone with a tired gaze in her eyes. “Only for three weeks, we need the break, to be honest. Are you coming or not?” 
Only three weeks? Y/N finds herself biting down hard on her tongue. She’ll never understand how people with money can be so out of touch with the world sometimes. She scoffs, shaking her head to herself. 
“Thank you for the offer, but no. I don’t have that kind of money and I can’t get three weeks off of work on such short notice.” 
Layla hums. “Yes, I understand. Well, I have to start packing. Oh and please don’t get any dirt on Sammy’s headstone, I just got it power-washed.”
The line goes dead and Y/N stares at her brother's grave in astonishment. “Love you, too,” she mutters sarcastically as she pulls the phone away from her ear. 
“Even in the dead, you’re still the goddamn favourite.”
She crouches down to get a better look at his plot. There are at least six bunches of fresh flowers in small plant potters that dig into the dirt. All beautiful and vibrant. Y/N places the seventh bunch in an empty plastic pot and uses her water bottle to fill it. 
“Happy birthday, Sammy. I miss you.” 
The cemetery is quiet, save for the few robins that perch on headstones close to her. From where she stands, Y/N spots an elderly couple walking hand in hand, no doubt visiting their own loved ones together.
Sometimes, she wishes she had someone to visit Sam with. Someone other than her parents. 
She stays there for a few moments, doesn’t really know what to say. It irks her a little, knowing his body lies beneath that cold ground. Y/N can feel that familiar sinking feeling of depression consume her. The guilt, the pain. 
She’d give everything to have him back, if even just for a day. 
“It’s not getting any easier, Sammy.” 
It’s like admitting defeat – like she’s not strong enough to cope with his loss. She is, but she certainly doesn’t feel the strength she needs to get her through. 
From the peripheral of her vision, Y/N spots a figure approaching. She turns her head, the silhouette now much clearer and she’s sure she recognises the slender blonde woman that edges closer with every tentative step. 
The woman from the reception. 
She looks just as shocked as Y/N – clearly not expecting to bump into her but she must’ve known his family would visit on his birthday. 
“Sorry,” the stranger starts. “I’ll come back later.”
Y/N shakes her head and calls out to her before she can fully turn to walk away. “Wait! I remember you, from the gym.” She chooses her words carefully, unsure how much she may know about the club itself. 
The blonde nods her head and takes a few steps closer, eyes fixed on Sam’s grave as tears well in her eyes. “My name’s Amira… Sam and I were seeing each other when…”
She doesn’t finish her sentence, but Y/N gets it. Her lips part and her eyes fall downcast. Sammy never mentioned he was seeing anyone – but Y/N supposes there was a lot he didn’t mention in his lifetime.
“I’m sorry,” she says, “I had no idea he was seeing anyone. He tended to keep that kind of stuff to himself.” 
Amira smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She continues to clutch a fresh bouquet of flowers close to her chest and doesn’t say much more. Y/N begins to feel like maybe she’s the one intruding and quickly clears her throat, fixing the strap of her purse on her shoulder. 
“Listen, my parents are going away for a few weeks. So if you’d like to stop by the house at all to go through some of Sam’s stuff, let me know. My number should be on the system at the gym anyway.” 
There’s a look in Amira’s eyes as she takes in Y/N’s kind consideration. Maybe it’s relief, maybe it’s something else. But Y/N figures the least she could do is allow her a deeper look into Sam’s life and let her take whatever she may need to feel closer to him. 
“Thank you, Y/N. That means so much to me. I’ll let you have time with him, I can come back later.” 
She smiles at Amira, a genuine one this time and shakes her head. “No, don’t be silly. I’m heading out now anyway.” She brushes past Amira, hand reaching out to gently squeeze her arm. “Please don’t be a stranger. Sam might be gone, but our memories of him aren’t.”
//
The music is a bit deafening and Y/N’s ears are struggling to adjust to it. The Box isn’t all that busy this afternoon. A few on the weights and a couple sparring to the side of boxing bags. 
What does catch her attention is Harry in the ring again. He’s not topless this time, instead wearing a simple red t-shirt and a pair of black gym shorts. His stance is firm as he holds his hands up (under those thick boxing pads) and allows Ricky to throw punches in timely combos. 
Niall is the first to notice Y/N’s presence, and he’s soon by her side with a lopsided smile and ruffled hair. They share a bit of light chit-chat, nothing too deep or personal. Niall doesn’t want to tread in shallow water, not today. 
And she’s far too focused on the way Harry’s biceps flex to focus on anything more than absentminded conversation. She’s not sure what’s gotten into her but she can’t get this man out of her head. 
It’s been a long time since she’s had a crush, almost too long to remember what it even feels like. But the more she looks at him – admires him – she’s back to feeling those wanton butterflies and clammy hands. 
Clearing her throat, she finally tears her gaze from the boxer and looks up at Niall. “I’ve got some invoices and stuff that I need to catch up on. Can you let Harry know I’m in the office when he’s done?” 
Niall nods and just as quickly as their conversation starts, it ends. 
Sitting in the office, she finds that there isn’t actually all that much to do. From what she can see, Harry has already made a start on this weeks memberships and was halfway through processing them on the system. 
That tinge of guilt begins to nip at her gut again. She needs to talk to Harry about it, really. It’s not fair for him to do the majority of the work and only own a quarter of the company. She either needs to up her game or convince him to take another twenty-five percent. 
But if Y/N has learnt anything about Harry by now, it’s that he will not take any more of this godforsaken company. So she finds herself making a mental note to put in more than just three evenings a week at this place. 
She’s a few minutes into finishing the last of the memberships when Harry knocks on the door and enters. He’s hot and sweaty and his dishevelled hair only makes him look even more attractive than usual. 
Lord have fucking mercy, she can’t handle this. 
“Hey,” he greets her in a gruff voice. 
She has to swallow down the lump in her throat before she can reply (a little too squeaky for her liking, and she’s wondering what the fuck is wrong with her). 
“Have you seen Sammy today yet?” 
Y/N nods with a sigh. “Yeah, just got back from there actually. Have you?” 
Harry hums. “Yeah, I saw him this morning.” 
He’s hunched over now, ruffling through his gym bag for his water bottle when he stands straight again and takes a sip of his drink. 
“You’re probably spending the evening with your family, but a bunch of us are gonna go down to the pub for a few drinks for Sammy’s birthday. You’re more than welcome to join at some point if you’d like.” 
The offer warms her heart to no end. It’s nice to hear how much people loved and respected him. Enough to celebrate his birthday even when he’s no longer here. 
She also thinks it’s cute that he thinks she’ll be with her family. As if anything about her and her parents' relationship is healthy. 
“I’ll be there,” she says a little too quickly. “My parents are busy packing for their spontaneous trip to Bora Bora. And my mother is insufferable so that’s just a big fat no to family time.” 
Harry raises his eyebrows, a small quirk of a smile on his lips. Her words are nothing new to him. Despite being the favourite, Sam always had his moments to moan about their parents, too. Used to say the same thing about their mother being insufferable. 
“You’re not going with them?” 
“No!” She laughs and the sound makes Harry smile. “I can’t afford a spontaneous three-week vacation and I can’t get the time off work so short notice either.” 
She watches Harry open the middle drawer of the silver filing cabinet and pull out an overly stuffed envelope. He hands it to her, brows raised expectantly for her to take it. 
It’s heavy, and her name is written in his scribbled handwriting and she finds herself looking at it for a second too long. 
“It’s your month's wages.” 
She peers inside, eyes wide. Y/N looks back at him. “How much is this?” 
“Ten grand.” 
Her eyes widen even more. “I’m sorry…” she blinks, “Ten fucking grand? For a month?” 
Harry shrugs, finally deciding to take a seat opposite her. “That’s what Sam used to pay himself monthly. You own the same amount that he did.” 
Y/N stares at him for a moment. She wonders if this amount of cash is normal to Harry and by the way he doesn’t bat an eyelid, she supposes it is. 
“Well I’m not Sam and you’re doing more work than me,” she blubbers. “You should be getting paid more.” 
She tries to shove the envelope across the table and into his hands but he won’t have any of it. Harry laughs at her, shaking his head like she’s the ridiculous one. 
“I get paid enough, believe me.” He pushes the envelope back over to her and she stares at it. 
Y/N has never seen that much money in cash with her name on. She’s never even had that much money at once before. The possibilities are endless as she thinks of what she could do with it. 
She could join her parents in Bora Bora and fuck work off completely if she’s getting paid that every month. But she won’t. 
She could also redecorate her entire flat and do out her wardrobe twice over with just that single month's wage, but she knows she won’t. 
Because Y/N will probably tuck it away under her bed later tonight and be too afraid to spend a single penny of it. 
And Harry notices the way she falls into her mind. She hasn’t taken her eyes off the envelope but she’s still yet to touch it again. He figures it’ll take a while for her to become a bit more accustomed to this. 
He taps his fingers on the desk, gaining her attention. “Penny, it’s your money. Do whatever you see fit with it. Save it, spend it, give it away. Do what you want.” 
Her eyes soften a little, appreciating his encouragement. It still feels wrong, though. To accept that amount of money for doing virtually nothing when people out there who work forty-plus hours every week and still struggle to pay their bills on time. 
She hangs onto the suggestion of giving it away. Maybe she’ll donate it to charity. Not all of it — she does need her oil changed and a new tyre — but most of it. 
Then a thought occurs to her and her eyebrows raise. It’s like Harry already knows what she’s going to suggest and he’s shaking his head again with a raspy laugh that Y/N feels between her legs. 
“No,” he tells her. “You can’t give it away to me.” 
//
If someone had warned her what tonight would look like before she left The Box, Y/N would’ve laughed in their face and called them delusional. 
The night had started like she’d expected. Y/N had driven to the pub with Harry, Niall and Ricky after they were showered and changed, and met up with everyone else where they started off with two shots each in honour of Sammy. 
It continued like she’d expected. The group of them were spread across two booths and two tables — Y/N being one of the only women amongst the bunch of rowdy men — and drinks went down nicely as everyone took turns to reminisce on their favourite memories of her late brother. 
But somewhere down the line of shots, jugs and a drinking game where you had to drink every time Ricky said ‘aye aye captain’ (which she learnt was his catchphrase), Harry had grown increasingly closer to Y/N. 
And now, the two of them have somehow moved deeper into the booth. Harry sits right in the corner with Y/N tucked into his side. About twenty minutes ago, his arm had found its way across her shoulder and has been comfortably resting there ever since. 
His fingers gently stroke the exposed skin of the middle of her bicep and she’s so close to him that half of her back is pressed against his chest. 
They’ve both had a fair amount to drink, but Harry seems significantly more sober than she does. Maybe it’s because she’s the one feeling a little hot about their close proximity. 
And it’s not that she minds it, because she absolutely fucking doesn’t. She’s revelling in it, if she’s completely honest. But she’s shocked and confused as to where this touchy side of Harry has come from and why. 
And just when she thinks they couldn’t get any closer, Harry’s leaning his head just enough so his lips ghost her ear as he whispers something jokingly about whatever it is that Niall has said. 
She can’t fucking focus. Out of nowhere this man has come into her life and flipped it 180. And in just a month of knowing one another, she's down bad and ready to say yes to anything he could ever want. 
Y/N has to force a breathy laugh to whatever he’s just whispered. She can’t think straight, unable to hear a thing when all she can think about is the way his lips feel against the shell of her ear. 
And Harry’s noticed. 
After her third drink, he noticed how she looked at him a little longer than usual. At first, he thought nothing of it, then she did it again and again and her eyes grew shy whenever he looked at her. 
It made his stomach flip. She’s attractive, incredibly so. And Harry’s no blind man. Even before Sam had passed, he knew what she looked like and he found her quite fit. 
But this odd friendship they have, where he’s gotten to know her and came to the realisation that she’s the one to care for his Gran… it’s blown that initial attraction tenfold. 
So maybe he did play up to it a little bit. Maybe he threw his arm around her shoulder to test the waters, to see if she’d pull away or ask him not to. 
But she didn’t pull away and she didn’t say a word. So Harry finally let himself consider the fact that she may find him just as attractive as he finds her. 
“Y’look really pretty, by the way.”  
Oof. Way to fucking play it cool, Harry. 
Her head snaps up in his direction and the mumbled tone of his voice. She heard him. Loud and clear. And she’s blinking up at him like he holds the stars in the sky. 
“What?” she breathes. 
Harry gulps, visibly. “I said you look really pretty today.” 
She thought she heard him right. But it doesn’t hurt to hear it for a second time. Y/N’s skin grows warm as she looks at him, and his eyes are lingering on her lips. 
Her heart skips a beat or two, breathing lodged in her throat. The way he looks at her has her stone-cold sober, no longer feeling the effects of alcohol. Instead, she feels the heat that radiates from Harry’s and the palpable tension between them. 
He can’t seem to tear his eyes away from her mouth — the way her plump lips part and her eyes drop down to his. The thought of kissing her is at the front of his mind, but before he can decide if he’ll act on impulse or not, a glass shatters on the other table and the moment is gone. 
Niall’s drunkenly mopping up a spilt beer with paper towels and an empty crisp packet, and Y/N is no longer tucked into his hold. She’s leaning forward to take a look at the damage and Harry’s left feeling a little disappointed. 
He shifts in the booth, sitting upright and clearing his throat as he recomposes himself. Niall’s little accident has drawn a fair amount of attention toward the group, and when Harry eyes the other patrons of the pub, his heart sinks to his stomach at one possee in particular. 
They’re already looking at him. At her. It takes every ounce of self-control to not approach and beat the shit out of them. Who the fuck do they think they are? 
Showing up here, on Sammy’s birthday after what they did to him. Harry’s hands are balled into fists at his sides, chest heaving as he tries to calm himself down. His knee begins to bounce, the anger getting the better of him. 
Ryce, George and Scott — the three men who drove Sam off the road and ended his life. They remain staring, vile smirks tugging at the corners of their lips. 
Harry’s consistent knee jitters finally catches Y/N’s attention and when she looks at him, she’s alarmed by his sudden change in composure. She can read that look on any man’s face. He’s got itchy knuckles. 
“Harry,” she says softly, palm resting on his thigh. 
He forces himself to tear his gaze away from the men and look down at her. Her brows are pinched, confusion evident in her voice. Harry plasters a fake, unbelieving smile on his face. 
“Nothing,” he says tightly. 
His gaze averts to his pint on the table and Y/N takes the opportunity to follow his previous line of sight. The three men are still looking over, all a little jagged on the edges. Their presence doesn’t sit well with Y/N. 
Perhaps that’s because of how she’s seen Harry react to them, or maybe it’s just the uncomfortable stares and creepy vibe they exude. 
Either way, it has her shuffling back into the booth and closer to Harry again. 
It’s a little while later and a few drinks more when Y/N tells Harry she’s going to go home. He’s been on edge the past forty-five minutes and while Y/N was quick to forget the trio of strangers, Harry wasn’t. 
He watched them for the final thirty minutes of their stay before he finally began to calm down a little. Harry’s still on edge and Y/N can tell, maybe that’s why she asks if he’ll walk her to her car. 
He looks at her, brows pinched. “I’m not letting you behind a wheel, Penny. You’ve been drinking. I’ll drive you home.” 
She tilts her head, that nickname awakening butterflies in her stomach. “You’ve been drinking, too,” she points out. 
Harry smiles toothily. “But I can handle my drink and I’m sobered up anyway. Come on, I’ll take you home.” 
Y/N doesn’t argue with that. She lets him grab her purse and guide her out of the booth, follows him through the group as they both say their goodbyes. 
When they get outside and reach Y/N’s car, Harry opens the passenger door for her as she hands him his keys. It takes him a moment to get comfortable in her seat, familiarising himself with her model before he starts the engine and pulls out of the parking space. 
The drive to her flat is quiet, a little bit of chit-chat here and there. She feels hot, watching him drive around in her car with ease. There’s something about it — the way his arms flex as he grips the wheel, how his tongue peeks out the corner of his mouth whenever he takes a tight turn. 
She hates to admit that he drives better than her. 
By the time they arrive back at her apartment building, Y/N’s feeling a lot more sober than when they first left the pub. She’s greeted with a hefty wave of arousal, however, when Harry reverses into her parking space with his arm on the back of her headrest. 
It’s a struggle to walk up to her flat with her thighs clenched tightly together, but she makes it work and Harry doesn’t seem to notice. He walks her straight to her door, hands her the keys and watches as she unlocks it. 
For some reason, Harry feels a little underwhelmed. He didn’t want the night to end so abruptly. He wanted to stay with her a little longer, maybe even get a little closer. 
So when she turns around with a shy smile and presses onto her tiptoes to plant a kiss to his check, he’s a little taken aback. 
It’s gentle, how her lips meet his skin, but she doesn’t cower back down after. Her face is still close, her lips just barely ghosting his as she slowly starts to pull away. Y/N’s eyes flicker up to meet Harry’s to find them already staring down at her. 
She’s not sure if it’s the final effects of the alcohol or something else that possesses her to press her lips against his, but she lets the intrusive thoughts win. She kisses him and he kisses her back just as softly. 
Her heart is racing, mind blank and she can’t think about anything other than the way his soft lips feel on hers and how his hands reach for her hips to hold her in place. 
Harry’s the one that pulls away first, just enough for the tips of their noses to brush and he’s staring down at Y/N with blown pupils. 
She swallows thickly, suddenly doubting the signs he suggested earlier this evening.
“I’m sorry,” she quickly says. 
Harry shakes his head, his hold on her hips tightening. “Don’t be.” 
His lips are back on hers, messier and needier than before. Y/N’s hands are quick to reach for his head — fingers tangling into his unruly hair. 
Harry swipes his tongue across her bottom lip, parting her mouth until they taste one another. Amid the kiss, he guides her into the flat, kicking the door shut behind them with his foot. 
Y/N’s hand leaves his hair and trails down his body in desperate search of something she can tug at. His find the backs of her thighs and with ease, lifts her in his hold. Legs wrapped around his waist, her arms circle his neck as he guides their bodies to the sofa, crawling on top of Y/N. 
Harry kisses down her neck, nipping at the taut skin as she arches her back and her chest presses into his. 
“Are you sure?” he mumbles against her collarbone. 
Y/N nods, not an ounce of doubt in her mind. His fingers find the hem of her t-shirt and he rolls it up her body, tugging it off her arms and over her head. 
She’s bare beneath it; with supple breasts and pearled nipples. Harry doesn’t think twice before leaning down and taking one into his mouth, swirling his tongue across the hardened nub. 
Y/N’s back arches, chest pushing into his face as her fingertips continue to scratch at his scalp. Harry swirls his tongue around her, teeth biting down and a sharp gasp leaves her lips. 
Trailing kisses up her clavicle, Harry meets her lips again, open mouths and hot tongues. He steadies his weight above her, slotted between her parted thighs. 
“D’you have a condom?” he mutters into the kiss. 
Y/N hums, sitting up as she chases his lips. “In the bedroom.”
He wraps her legs around his waist and lifts them both from the sofa, lips attached once again as he guides them to what he remembers to be her bedroom. 
He’s allowed no time to take a look at her room, not that he’s interested anyway. Harry lays her flat in the middle of the bed, crawling on top to situate himself between her thighs again. 
It’s dark, traces of moonlight barely seeping through the slits of her bedroom curtains. It offers an angelic hue over her soft body, a sight that Harry never wants to forget. 
Her fingers tug at the hem of his t-shirt, swooping underneath to feel the warm, toned skin of his abdomen. Harry leans back on his knees just enough to allow him space to remove his top, flinging it somewhere across the darkened room. 
Y/N admires him for a moment, swallowing thickly. His pupils are blown, lips swollen and pink. She watches the way Harry’s chest rises and falls with each breath, takes a second to gawk at the divots of his abs and the dark tattoos that ink his golden skin. 
She expects him to crawl back over her body, to kiss her like his life depends on it. But he doesn’t. Instead, his fingers loop into the waistband of her flared leggings and he slowly pulls them down the length of legs. 
It leaves her almost bare, wearing just a simple black thong but the sight of it has Harry’s cock twitching in his pants. His gaze roams up her body until he finds her eyes, blown and hooded. He doesn’t break that contact as he stands from the bed and unbuckles his belt. He continues to stare into her soul as he tugs them down his toned thighs and kicks them off to the side. 
Y/N’s breath hitches in her throat in anticipation of the big reveal. But he doesn’t offer it. He climbs back onto the bed, heavy palms hot on her inner thighs as he spreads her legs apart for him. 
She breaks eye contact first, eyes fluttering closed when Harry slowly inches his face closer to her clothed cunt. She feels his hot breath fan over her lower tummy, feels him nip at the skin by her hip before his fingers loop into the top of her panties and he drags them down to her ankles. 
She’s bare before him, core soaked and puffy from arousal. Harry doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything so fucking sexy and delicious in his entire life, and it takes all self-restraint to not bury his face between her thighs for the foreseeable future. 
He doesn’t know what she wants or what she likes, so to play it safely, Harry peppers kisses from her ankles to her tummy and noses at the underside of her breasts. Their lips meet soon after, Y/N’s fingers tangling in his hair. 
She blindly reaches for her bedside table, fingers nimbly searching for a foil packet. Her mind feels dizzy – hazy – at the feeling of Harry’s mouth on hers. She’s seeping down onto the mattress, her arousal too much all at once as his body rests between her legs; his cock nudging against her inner thigh beneath the fabric of his boxers.
Harry reaches a hand down between their bodies, can practically feel the heat from her hot cunt as his fingers hover over her slit. He gently pushes his middle finger through her folds, his skin immediately immersed in wetness as he does so. 
Y/N gasps softly into his mouth, hips involuntarily bucking against his hand. “Please,” she whimpers, voice quiet. 
The sound of her begging has his cock leaping, desperate to be buried inside her. Harry bites back a groan and swirls his finger around her arousal, spreading it across her cunt. He teases at her puckering hole, watches how her body responds to his touch. Like she was fucking made for him. 
“You’re so wet, Penny.”
She shakes her head, breaking her lips from his. “Don’t call me that,” she laughs breathily, “Not when we’re doing this.”
Harry grins against her mouth, pulling away just enough to get a better look at her face. God, she’s fucking stunning. 
With his eyes on hers, he gently pushes his finger through her cunt, cock twitching at just how tight she clamps around him. 
“Okay, baby. Whatever you want.” 
Her eyes roll to the back of her head, Harry’s smirk growing tenfold. He moves his wrist slowly, curling his finger against the spongy part of her g-spot as small, broken whimpers escape her lips. 
He wants to kiss her, feel her plump lips on his again but the sight is too consuming. Watching her face contort in the pleasure that he’s inflicting her. 
“Har, please.” 
Her voice does something to him, something sinister and desperate. He coos down at her, enjoying the dynamic they seem to have a bit too much — how she submits to his touch and gives him all control. 
“Be patient, baby. You’re so tight, I need to stretch you out a little for me first.” 
He adds a second finger, struggles to tuck them into her cunt as he quickens the pace of his hand. She feels the burn of the intrusion but welcomes it regardless. His fingers are thick, stretching her better than hers do.
Y/N’s hips begin to roll against his palm, eagerly chasing more when he doesn’t offer it. He’s bulging in his boxers, desperate for relief with every sweet cry she mumbles out. 
“Please, Har. I need you.” 
He struggles to keep himself composed at how needy she sounds. Harry backs up onto his knees, continues fucking her with his fingers and uses his other hand to shimmy down his boxers. 
Y/N watches with wide eyes. He’s huge – long and thick and so much fucking bigger than anything that she’s ever had before. The sight of him makes her stomach twitch in nerves, worried she won’t be able to take him. 
Harry seems to notice her inner turmoil as he snatches the condom from the side of the bed and tears the foil open with his teeth. He removes his fingers from her cunt, brings them to his lips to get a taste. 
She’s sweet on his tongue, and in that moment, Harry makes a promise to himself that this won’t be just a one-time thing. 
“Don’t worry, baby,” he says, pinching the tip of the condom and rolling it down his thick length. “I’ll make it fit.” 
She shudders when he lines himself with her dripping hole, swirling his tip around her arousal and gently nudging his way through. The burn is unlike before – much more prominent and harsh. And it doesn’t ease the further he fills her. She struggles to take him, to stretch around his cock. But Harry will fuck into her all night to get her accustomed to his size. To break her in. 
Harry thinks he could explode at any minute. It’s been a long time since he’d had a cunt grip him the way hers does. And he knows full well just how good she’ll milk him dry of everything he has to offer. 
He grits his teeth in an attempt to control his desire of fucking her silly. Not yet, he has to tell himself. She’s not ready for that. 
“Doin’ so well, baby. So fuckin’ tight.” 
Her head rolls back and his words offer a sweet relief to the initial sting. With every gentle whisper he breathes, she takes more and more of him. He’s close to nudging at her cervix, close to bottoming out. 
“More,” she chokes. “Fuck me, Har. I need more.” 
His movements are on the slower side to begin with – a proven struggle to pull out and back in with how tight her pussy grips him. But with every thrust of Harry’s hips, the better she stretches and the deeper he goes. 
Her tits begin to bounce on her chest with every harsh movement he offers. Y/N’s hands reach for them, fingers tweaking at her hardened nipples and her hips move in circles against his own. 
Harry sits back on his knees to watch as he fucks her, to admire just how good he’s making her feel. She’s breathless, brows pinched and mouth parted. He wants to touch and taste every fucking inch of her body – to bury himself so deep inside she begs him to never leave. 
It’s primal, how he looks at her, thinks of her. The idea of anyone else having her like this makes him sick, angry. The thought alone has his vision blurring red and he struggles to snap out of such a dominant and protective mindset. 
His. She’s all his whether she knows it or not. 
“Tight little cunt, baby. Jesus Christ… fucking made for me.” 
It’s filthy, the way he spits at her is the most sexy thing. How he claims her, owns her. No one could ever fuck her the way he is, no one could have her withering and begging and crying in pleasure. No one but him. 
“Yes, yes,” she pants out.
All she wants is to please him, give him everything he wants and take anything he’ll offer in return. Her body starts to melt, into his touch, his words, his presence. He’s taking her somewhere she’s never been before and there’s no better feeling. 
Harry’s cock rubs deliciously against her her g-spot, pinching at her cervix the deeper he gets. She’s soaked him, fully – his cock and his pubic bone. And the squelching sound her pussy makes is music to his fucking ears. 
He’s struggling to see straight, eyes glossy as sweat begins to dot his hairline. If she feels this good now, he can’t imagine how warm and wet she’d feel raw – without the flimsy rubber between them. He’ll dream of it, how soft her cunt would be wrapped around his cock. 
Christ, the thought has him twitching between her walls, splutters of guttural moans falling from his lips. The sounds are fuel to Y/N’s fire, her eyes snapping open to finally take a look at him. 
He’s fucked out, head thrown back and bottom lip tight between his teeth. His stomach is tensed, knuckles white as he grips her hips, and it’s all because of her. She’s got him feeling like this, so fucked out and feral. 
Y/N grinds her hips against him, faster now as she meets his pace. She’s sitting up on her elbows to watch where his cock nuzzles into her, watching how her arousal soaks the base of his cock and his lower tummy. 
She can feel him in her stomach, how he’s almost nudging at her organs to make room for himself. She’s never felt so excited before, bare and naked – fucking under the moonlight in her pitch-black bedroom. 
Maybe it’s the excitement or maybe it’s Harry’s fingers rubbing at her clit that sends her spiralling – sobbing out his name and begging for mercy. He doesn’t relent, he won’t. He wants to feel her exploding around him, wants to feel her close in on him until he’s releasing deep in her cunt, albeit in the condom. 
It hits her like a fist – straight in her face. She’s coming over his cock, legs trembling and cunt convulsing as she sobs. 
“Fuckkk, Daddy, please!” 
Harry’s orgasm creeps up on him as his eyes widen at the name. He comes with her, fast and hard and if he wasn’t wearing a condom, he’d already be dripping out of her. Y/N’s legs continue to tremble, cunt squeezing him so tight that Harry thinks he could pass out. 
He’s desperate to catch his breath, and she’s no better. Gentle whimpers continue to rake through her body as she slowly settles down from her high. Harry stares down at her, fucked out and body limp. The reality of what they’ve just done sits heavy in his stomach and he worries she’ll ask him to leave, that she regrets it. 
But she doesn’t. Instead, Y/N whimpers his name as he slowly pulls out and reaches her hands down for him. He coos her, taps her thigh gently before tugging off the condom and tying it up. 
She lies there, alone as Harry leaves the room. Worry is quick to consume her, the anxiety that he’s about to leave without another word. But he doesn’t. He returns to her bedroom with a damp cloth and his boxers back on his lower half. 
He’s gentle as he wipes her down, helps settle her tired and aching body beneath a blanket and she doesn’t want to be the type that cries after sex, but no one has ever given her this kind of aftercare before. It all feels a little too domestic. 
Not to Harry. Not really, anyway – he’s not the type to fuck and leave, not usually. It doesn’t feel foreign to help her get clean or tuck her in, and he only surprises her further when he lays beside her under the blanket, too. 
“You’re staying?” she peeps out. 
Harry hums, face close to hers. “If you want me to.” Her eyes are heavy as she covers her mouth to stifle a yawn. 
“At least wait until I’m asleep before you sneak out.”
So, he does.
//
Thank you for sticking it out lol, part two will be posted next week, so let me know if you want to be added to my general tag list to be notified <3
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misserabella · 3 days
Text
two geniuses (playing love)
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masterlist!
synopsis; feelings flourish in between the two of you as you’re forced to act as a couple. could a kiss finally let the two of you understand what was really going on underneath your supposedly hatred? you’re scared to find out.
cw; +18 content! minors dni!!, guns, shots being fired, girls being bitches, bickering, lots of teasing, so much flufffffff, spencer and reader being confused, pining, neck kisses, making out (their first kiss!!), violence, guns, shots being fired, spencer gets flustered a lot, also gets a boner… (so much more that i probably can’t remember)…
“so what do we know about this unsub?” hotch asked, all of you were sitting on the police station around the table, trying to understand this killers motive.
“well, we know his killings evolve around y/n.” morgan stated the obvious, to what you sighed.
“stalkers may exhibit a range of psychological issues, including personality disorders such as narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and delusional disorders like erotomania. stalking behaviors can also be influenced by insecure attachment styles rooted in childhood experiences.” spencer added, and you nodded.
“erotomania is a delusional disorder that makes a person believe the person of their infatuation hace reciprocated feelings or love and affection, when they don’t. it may even be a person they’ve never met. they might even be famous, like a politician or an actor. people with this disorder can be so sure of this love that they think they’re in a relationship with this person. they may not be able to accept facts that prove otherwise. it is also called de clérambault syndrome, and it’s rare. it can happen on its own. but it’s usually linked to another mental health condition, like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. it can last for weeks or years.” you recited as if you were reading it off of a book.
“you two are like an encyclopedia.” emily smiled, chuckling.
“so this killer will go to the extreme of killing for you if needed.” jj nodded.
“seems like it.” you answered.
“he also seems pretty possessive and protective of you. he seems to have noticed spencer too.” morgan pointed out.
“you think he might think we’re dating?” you inquired with disbelief.
“it would play to our favor. if our profile around him is right, he might not be able to control the need to stay quiet about it and take action.” gideon said, what made you scoff.
“so what now? we should hold hands and act like a happy couple? fuck no.”
“y/n.” hotch scolded you.
“i’m sorry but that’s not gonna work. if none of you have noticed, spencer and i don’t really get along.”
“shocker!” emily sarcastically said, to what you squinted your eyes at her.
“come on guys… i can’t be the only one who doesn’t see this working out.” you tried to make up their minds and spencer pitched in.
“yeah. and to be honest i don’t want to become the unsub’s new target.” spencer pointed out.
jj stepped in. “it's true that your relationship has been strained, but you're both intelligent individuals. i’m sure you can put aside your differences to sell this lie. it's not about whether or not you like each other; it's about stopping this unsub at all costs." you listened to her words, groaning. she was right. you needed to stop acting like children and work together to catch this unsub.
you looked at spencer, who was already looking at you, communicating with a nod.
“you’re right.” you sighed at jj. “i guess it’s the only way, huh?” you gave in.
hotch stepped in, a flicker of relief crossing his face. "good. now, let's think through the details. we need to create a plausible backstory for your relationship, make sure your body language and interactions are believable, and be prepared for any curveballs the unsub might throw at us. this isn't going to be easy, but I have faith in both of you, and I know you can make this work." you pinched the bridge of your nose.
“how should we… how should we act around each other?” you inquired, cringing internally.
rossi answered “for your relationship to appear authentic, you'll need to display a certain level of intimacy and affection.”
“holding hands, touching each other frequently, being in close proximity… you can't come across as distant or awkward, as that would immediately raise suspicions.”emily added.
“you need to convince the unsub that you're truly in love with each other." jj finished and you scoffed.
“well that’s gonna be easy…” you sarcastically said, bracing yourself for what’s about to come.
-
his hand is warm, big engulfing your own. and clammy. spencer is nervous, awkward, you can feel it as you two walk through the beach, the light breeze hitting your skin, the salt engulfing your lungs.
you two have not said one word since you’ve left the headquarters, not on the way back to the hotel, or when you moved your things into his room, or on the way to the beach…
silence. total and absolute silence.
this was your new reality. to play fantasy with the person you hated the most. to act as if only love was what stood between the two of you and not this immense hatred that gnawed at your insides.
“did you know that by the amount of germs a hand holds it’s actually safer to kiss?” he asks, and his voice sounds hoarse by the silence he has buried himself in.
you hummed. “does that mean you’d prefer me to kiss you instead or hold your hand?” you asked, and he choked.
“what? no! no, what i meant is… i just…” you chuckled.
“relax, reid. it was a joke. i want to kiss you as much as you want to kiss me.” you rolled your eyes. “you’re so tense that whoever saw you would think im holding you hostage and making you hold my hand.” he scoffs.
“sorry. it’s just… awkward.”
“tell me about it…” you sighed, leaving your beach bag down onto the sand. “i think this might be a good spot.”
“for what?” he inquired, letting go of your hand.
“we’re supposed to be on a date, reid. doing things a couple does. you know… watch the sunset, spend time together… all of that.”
“oh.” he muttered. “yeah. that makes sense.” he nodded, watching you take out a couple of towels to spread them across the sand.
“gonna help me or stand there watching?” you chuckled, and he quickly moved to help you, muttering a ‘right, sorry’ that made you laugh internally. who’d know spencer could act like this? embarrassed and coy in front of you?
then he sat, book in hand. of course. “seriously? you’re gonna read right now?” you inquired him and he looked up at you.
“why not? the beach is one of the most relaxing places to read.” he shrugged, and you shook your head, pulling from your beach dress to get it off, leaving yourself on a blue bikini.
his eyes trailed down your sun kissed skin, the sun was setting, giving you a golden hue that made you shine.
“come with me.” your words took him out of his mind, his eyebrows raising as you offered him your hand. “come on.” he seemed suspicious, but again, he had to trust you if this lie was gonna be bought. and so he took your hand and got up. he tried not to think about the fact that your body was mostly exposed, and about the feeling of your soft smaller hand on his bigger one.
you let him go once he was up on his feet, and he took off his shirt, leaving him on his swimwear.
“so i wasn’t actually hallucinating it the last time… where were you hiding that?” you teased him, looking at his soft but toned body. he rolled his eyes.
“stop looking at me.”
“why? does it make you nervous?” you rose your eyebrows. “do i make you nervous, spencer?” you leaned in and he took a step back.
“no. i just don’t like it.” his nose scrunched up and you hummed.
“yeah, right.” you rolled your eyes, giving him your back to start walking towards the shore.
“no. really.” he followed you with a frown, feet fast behind you.
“it’s okay, spencer. your little crush on me it’s cute.”
his eyes widened. “what?! i don’t have a crush on you!”
your feet met the water and you walked in. you heard his splashes behind you as the water met your knees. it was just the perfect temperature.
“you’re dumb.” you said while facing him once again. and he gave you an incredulous look.
“i’m not dumb! why would i be dumb?”
“because of this.” and with a quick movement you were maneuvering him into the water, leaving him splashing your thighs and tummy. you laughed at his glare and shocked expression, his pretty hair now mildly soaked. “god. reid. it’s the second time this happens to you. you don’t learn!”
“you think this is funny, do you?” he asks you, looking up at you.
“definitely.” you nodded, still chuckling, your chest heaving up and down with ragged breathing.
“yeah?”
“yea-“ but before you could finish he was grabbing your hand and pulling you down into the water with him. you froze as you fell on his lap, water splashing around the two of you.
“well, check who’s in the water now, huh?” he was laughing at your shocked expression and damp face before he noticed the position in which the two of you were in, his laughter dying quickly enough.
his eyes met your body, wet in droplets that slid down your chest and navel towards your hips submerged in the water and on top of his. he swallowed at the feeling of your soft weight on him, the swell of your chest right in front of his face, centimeters away from his lips. the curve of your neck… your hair falling over it and down your collarbones… the warmth of your hands on his shoulders, the softness of the skin of your hip under his unconscious grip.
you looked down at him. at his messy hair that had started curling due to the salt, at his thin yet toned build, his heaving chest, his sharp jaw, his hazel puppy eyes, his long lashes… the way he was now looking at you…
“uhm…” he cleared his throat. and the spell in between the two of you broke. you shook your head.
“i should probably…” you pointed at your back, trying to gesture that you should get up, and he nodded, pulling his hands away from your body.
“yeah. yeah.” he nodded, and you used him for leverage to get back on your feet. it was awkward. the tension in between the two of you as he too got back on his feet, neither of you looking at each other. the sun was setting.
“i think i’m gonna… go read.” you nodded.
“yeah. okay. i’ll… i’ll meet you there.” he copied the shaking of your head, and after a couple of seconds in silence he staggered in turning around and getting out of the water. you only went in deeper, submerging your head under the waves, where there was no noise, and no thoughts clouding your head. no doubts. although you could still feel the vivid heartbeat of your heart, crashing harshly against your ribs.
spencer tried to focus on his book, but as much as he’d like to not admit it, his eyes were zeroed on you.
-
“okay…” you hummed. “ursa minor.” you pointed at the sky.
the sun was long gone, and yet, spencer and you still were on the beach, lying on your towels, admiring the map of stars above your heads.
spencer took his turn, pointing just a little bit far away from your constellation. “ursa mayor.”
“now that’s and easy one.” you rolled your eyes teasing him, and he couldn’t help but copy you.
“okay. what about… camelopardalis?” he pointed it out in the sky and you hummed.
“now you’re just showing off.” he groaned.
“oh, so now i’m showing off?” he smirked and you nodded.
“yeah, come on. you could have just pointed out draco. instead you chose camelopardalis? you’re a show off.” he chuckled.
“okay. maybe i just wanted to shut you up.” he shrugged and you laughed.
“now, that’s not easy.”
“tell me about it.” he mumbled. “hey look. it’s saturn.” he pointed it out, it shining more than a normal star.
“and mars.” you said, pointing it out as well.
“and dwarf planet 1 ceres.” he added and you looked at him with your eyebrows raising.
“you’re bluffing.”
“i’m not!”
“yes you are, reid. that planet can only be seen with binoculars. you wear glasses!”
“how do you know that?” you laughed.
“caught you!” he rolled his eyes.
“okay. maybe i memorized tonight’s sky map, so what?” you chuckled at his response.
“you’re a nerd.”
“yeah? well so are you. what’s your iq, 170?”
“177.” his eyes widened. “what?”
“i mean. i knew you were intelligent. but we almost share the same iq. that’s… that’s impressive.”
“was that a compliment, doctor reid?” you smirked.
he shook his head with a smile, scoffing. “no.”
“it was though.”
“it wasn’t.”
“it totally was.” your bickering caused him to laugh.
“you’re insufferable.” he groaned, and you smiled.
“i know.” you two rested in silence, looking at the sky. “this isn’t so bad…” he looked at you. “i mean, sure. i don’t like you. and acting as your girlfriend totally sucks, believe me. but i thought it would be worse.” he hummed.
“you have a way of complimenting someone and at the same time insulting them that is fascinating.” he said, and you chuckled. “by the way… what time is it?” you took your phone.
“almost one am.” you answered his question.
“we should probably get going.” he muttered and you rose your eyebrows.
“you want me back into your bed so soon, reid?” he scoffed.
“you really like to assume those kinds of things. in the end i’m gonna start thinking you’re the one who wants me in your bed.” your eyes widened.
“fuck no!” you said while getting up from the towel, and he smirked up at you.
“you sure?”
“of course i am.”
“then why are you avoiding my eyes?” he got up to stand beside you, a smirk on his face. you wanted to punch it out of him.
“i’m not.” you scoffed.
“but you are.” your skin rose in goosebumps as he stepped closer, your breath hitching when he took your chin and made you look up at him into his hazel eyes. the moonlight made them shine. and for a moment you forgot that he was teasing you, playing with you.
“i don’t want you in my bed.” you said, straight into his eyes, pushing away his touch. he smiled.
“okay. i’ll believe you.” you looked away from him as he started gathering his things and put on back his shirt. you wondered why your cheeks were burning. why your heart was racing.
he put your beach bag over his shoulder. “let’s go.” and even though your body jolted underneath his touch as he took your hand to guide you down the shore back to the hotel —and you reminded yourself that this was all part of the lie you were playing—, you let him.
-
“how are our lovebirds?” garcia asked through the phone and you rolled your eyes.
“would be better if you’d catch this guy now…” you said, and heard snickers from the other part of the line.
“he’s behaving, isn’t he?” morgan inquired and spencer frowned.
“what?! what do you mean behave?” you shushed him.
“he’s not being so bad… usual reid.” morgan laughed. “any news on the unsub?”
“actually, yeah.” jj said. “we caught him lurking on the beach you guys visited, but he was far from our reach. seemed pretty angry.”
“so he’s getting closer…” you nodded.
“he seemed to buy into the lie of the relationship.” spencer hummed and you nodded.
“you guys need to keep it up. if our profile is right he will not stand still and watch, he’ll confront the two of you soon.” hotch said.
“alright. we will.” you promised.
“we’ll keep in touch.” emily said before the line went dead and the two of you looked at each other.
“what should we do now?” he inquired.
“go to the pool.” you smiled and he groaned. “come on. he needs to see us.” you said while getting a bikini and entering the bathroom to get changed. once done you got out and found him with a pair of red trunks. “now that’s the spirit.” you smiled and he rolled his eyes. “come on, reid. the sun is up and shining for us. time to sunbathe!” he took some of his books and his sunglasses, following after you out of your room and though the hallways of the hotel until you two were met by happy squealing and laughter from the children enjoying their time in the pool, splashing each other.
you two took a sun lounge each, his umbrella staying open while yours stood shut as you applied tanning oil to your skin after getting rid of your shorts. spencer kept his summer sheer shirt, laying sat up straight in the sun lounge as he quickly went through the pages, reading 20.000 words per minute. you laid on your own, bathing in the warmth of the sun as it prickled your skin.
you were enjoying the tranquility until some shadows took over your sun. you peeked your eyes open to see three girls standing over the two of you, sweet smiles on their faces as they stared at your right. more like… at spencer.
“hey.” one of them caught his attention, and his hazel eyes pulled away from his book towards the blonde.
“what are you reading?” a brunette asked him next, and he stuttered just the slightest before answering.
“uhmm… anna karenina. it’s from leo tolstoy from 1878. it deals with themes of betrayal, faith, family, marriage, imperial russia, society, desire, and the differences between rural and urban life. it’s actually my second time reading it. this time in the original russian.” he spat out, babbling as the three girls listening. more like ate him up with their eyes.
“you’re cute.” the third and last girl, another blonde smiled, and spencer’s eyes widened.
“could i get your number?” the brunette inquired him and you sat up straight, slightly clearing your throat, what made them look at you. “and you are…?”
you smiled. “his girlfriend.” spencer looked at you scandalized, what almost made you laugh. “i mean i get you guys…” you said with a smirk, leaning over him, your chest pressing against his as your arms circled his neck. his breath hitched as you hummed, looking at him before looking back at the three girls that now stunned looked at you. “he’s just too cute, isn’t he?” you took his face with one of your hands, making his lips pout out. he looked at you with furrowed eyebrows and widened eyes. you smiled at him, his cheeks flushing at your words and the way your body just pushed closer against his. “but he’s mine.” you crooked your head towards the girls. “so if you don’t mind…”
“actually i do mind.” the brunette said. and your eyebrows rose. “i don’t see your name branded on him.” you slowly pulled away from spencer, getting on your feet.
you smiled softly at her. spencer didn’t like it one bit. you never smiled. not like that. “what’s your name?”
“ashley.” she answered, and you saw spencer getting up get beside your from the side of your eyes as you gave her a once over, your eyes landing on her pool heels. he was cautious, he knew something was wrong. sweet intelligent spencer…
“i like your shoes.” you started, simple, and she looked confused at you. “you gonna… be able to run in those?” you inquired.
“what?” and before she knew what was happening you were launching yourself towards her. good timing spencer was fast enough to catch you in between his arms as her friends pulled her away, running from you with ‘let’s go!’s.
“yeah, that’s more like it. see you, ashley!!!” you said while fighting spencer’s tight hold on you. “bitch…” you murmured when they got lost into the hotel. he let you go when you had seemingly calmed down and stared at you.
“what was that?”
“what? she was being a bitch.” you shrugged and got back to your sun lounge.
“no. i mean. what was that?”
“reid. i’m supposed to be your girlfriend… don’t you think that’s how a girlfriend would act?” you inquired him, and he looked around, scratching his nape.
“i mean, yeah but…” you cut him off.
“then it’s settled.” you said before closing your eyes and getting back with your sun.
he stared at you, still in shock and with flushed cheeks. his mind got filled with images and moments from the last days; you in the pool the night you’d thrown him in, how you had teased him, how your lips had almost touched his, last night at the beach when you had fallen on top of him… and now… seeing you that way, had done… things to him. things he didn’t want to accept. his whole body was tense, his heart was stuttering, his eyes whole face was red, and his stomach was feeling bubbly and… well. okay. no. enough.
he cleared his throat and sat down beside you, retrieving his book, trying to dismiss the knot in his throat. he looked at you. at your slowly tanning skin, the shine it had due to the oil you had bathed yourself in, your beautiful curves accentuated by the white bikini you’d gone for today, your soft features, your long lashes, your plump lips, your soft jaw, the soft skin of your neck, your…
when his eyes dropped too low he looked away, clearing his throat.
he tried to go back to the russian, but he was flustered. after minutes of trying to get back in focus, he gave up, getting up and pulling his shirt off, what caught your attention.
“where are you going?” you inquired.
“i was gonna go for a swim.” he pointed to the pool, and you sprung up.
“i’ll join you.” you smiled, and his heart stuttered at the recurring memories of that night in the pool. let it go, spencer.
following him into the water, you sigh at the fresh feeling of it engulfing you and making your overheated skin find solace.
spencer dampens his hair, pushing it backwards in a slick manner that exposes his strong cheek bones. but it’s when you finally stop staring at him that you notice it.
his breath hitched when your arms surrounded his neck, pulling him closer, your chest pressed against his as you spun in the water.
“what are you doing?” he inquired you, his hands subconsciously grabbing your hips. to push you away? to pull you closer? who knew…
“your twelve o’ clock. i think it’s our guy.” you muttered in his ear swiftly, smiling at him as if you were absolutely smitten, playing with his hair. spencer looked just for a moment. it was a white male, in his late thirties, wearing glasses and a cap, staring straight at the two of you with clenched fists.
“he surely doesn’t look happy.” he muttered to you, pulling you closer. “looks like it might be him.” you hummed. “what should we do?”
“well you should definitely act like you love me.” you smiled, cupping his cheek. “like this…” you looked straight into his eyes, and his breath hitched. if he didn’t knew better you’d have fooled him, ‘cause you were looking at him as if you craved nothing else, no one else but him.
you almost chocked when one of his hands found your hair, his breath pressing against your neck just before his lips did. “does this work?” he inquired you, pressing another chaste kiss on the sensitive skin.
you had to come and get back your trail of thought, ‘cause he had stolen it away just that easy. it was unnerving.
“you tell me. you’re the one facing him.” you whispered, and he hummed against your skin. you had to pretend as if it y didn’t send shivers down your spine.
“he’s just staring.” he stated.
“he wouldn’t dare do something with this much people around.” you figured.
“or maybe he just doesn’t want to taint his image before you. he wants to meet you in the perfect way, perfect place, perfect time.”
“what a romantic…” you rolled your eyes.
“he’s moving.” spencer announced.
“leaving?” you inquired and he nodded, his soft stubble scratching your neck and making you shudder in his arms.
“seems like it.” once out of sight he let you go, and you looked away from his eyes, the imprint of his hold on your hips still lingering on your skin, his kisses still burning your neck.
“he won’t be able to hold on for much longer...”
you nodded, fidgeting. “i’ll… i’ll go tell the team.”
“yeah. okay.” spencer copies your shake of head, and you got out of the pool, his eyes training on your back and down your body before he caught himself staring, quickly looking away and pushing his hair back anxiously. he could still feel the softness of your skin, smell the coconut tanning oil you’d lathered yourself in, remember how right you’d feel in between his arms, taking whatever he gave you…
he sighed. get it together reid.
but he had to spend a while in the water to properly calm down before making his way back to you. this was gonna end badly.
-
dinner with spencer was easy. it was a warm night. and he looked good. with a blue button up shirt and white pants along with his brown shoes. it was easy to talk to him, even easier to let him pay and let him walk you by his hand through the hotel and into the gardens of it. it was so easy to live this lovers lie that it terrified you. the moon and stars were shining bright above your heads, and the silence that filled the distance in between the two of you was as comfortable as it could get.
that was until he was breaking it to stutter about theories of the universe. theories you already knew. but for once you decided to keep quiet and listen to his rambling, enjoying the way his eyes sparkled with knowledge, the way his lips curled into a smile with every little fact that spilled from them…your heart was hammering inside your chest. it has been since the time in the pool. you were scared he could feel your heartbeat by how tight he was holding your hand. you’d come to understand that he wasn’t that bad. sure, he sometimes could get under your skin and make you lose your temper, but spencer reid could be as soft as a feather when he wanted to, and that made it all even worse. you were used to his narcissism, to his hatred, not to his ‘love’. was this how he really was or just another lie? just another façade? you were haunted by the feelings that this side of him flourished in your body.
“there’s someone following you.” since the spotting in the pool, the team had made sure to give you an earpiece each to communicate with you in case of emergency. jj’s voice made spencer’s waver, but to play along he just pulled you closer and continued with his theories. “seems like the man you told us about, y/n.”
you two slowly stopped walking, looking at each other as he kept talking, waiting for orders.
“he stopped. he’s just… watching.” emily announced and you inquired spencer and the team.
“what should we do? he’s not gonna come to us that easily…”
“reid, kiss her.” hotch ordered and his eyes widened, breath hitching and his hold on your hand hardening.
“what? no! i’m not going to kiss her!” he whispered-yelled, completely astonished.
“the physical contact will drive him to approach you both. we’ll be right there.” morgan chirped in, trying to convince his friend, soothe his anxiety. but spencer wasn’t scared of the unsub. he was scared of you. terrified. terrified by how good it felt to have you this close, to hold your hand, to see your smile, to share time with you… he wondered if this last thing would make him crack. would make him understand that it wasn’t hatred all along. he wasn’t sure he was ready to know the truth.
“there must be another way, i-“ he tried, but you groaned at his hesitation, taking the matter into your own hands.
“for the love of god, reid.” you grabbed at his curly hair, and in a tug, you pulled him down against your mouth. he froze at first, surprised, in shock at the soft feeling of your lips against his, at the feeling of your chest tightly pressed against him. but then it all completely changes, he can’t get enough. he cupped yor face in between his warm hands and pulled you closer, until there was no space between you two, something he must hate, but only finds himself enjoying. you gasp into his mouth and he takes the opportunity to push his tongue inside, pushing you against the wall of the hotel, devouring you as if he had been waiting years for this moment. you were air. and he was drowning.
“slow down…” you breathily moan against his lips, and he groans.
“i can’t.” he confessed.
the kiss that follows is just as desperate and harsh, your tongues dancing around the other as he kisses you like you’re everything he’s ever craved. you feel him press against you, and the feeling of a bulge on his crotch surprises you.
“you seem to be enjoying this a little bit too much, reid.” you said with a smirk as you felt his growing erection pushing against your thigh to find solace, some friction, anything to make him feel better. he’s losing control, he knows. but he looks into your dazed eyes and he knows you are falling just as hard. he hopes the fall doesn’t hurt as bad as his heart right now.
“i hate you.” he muttered against your lips.
“say it like you mean it.” and before he could kiss you again, the sound of a gun being loaded sounded.
“get away from her.” a male voice filled your ears and spencer stepped away from you, leaving you cold, confused and in need of more you thought you’d never crave. “get away!” he repeated pointing at him with the gun.
“okay, okay… calm down…” he softly said, taking a couple of steps away from you.
“how do you dare touch her?!” he screamed. he seemed scattered. “nobody should touch her. she’s mine!”
“no, she’s not.” spencer said just as morgan knocked the unsub to the ground, a shot being fired, the bulled burying itself inches away from you on the wall. he was quick to reach out for you as you looked down at yourself. “are you okay?” he inquired, taking your face, inspecting it.
“don’t touch her!” the man screamed again as you nodded.
“easy!” morgan yelled as he cuffed him up.
“yeah… i’m alright.” you muttered and spencer nodded, looking right into your eyes. you could still see his flushed cheeks, and his swollen wet lips, could see traces of you left behind. you wanted to taste him again. and again. and again. until the only thing you could remember was him and his lips, and the feeling of his body pressing against you.
that night. something changes. and it scares not only your bones, but your soul as well.
-
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barcaatthemoon · 3 days
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third party || ingrid engen x mapi leon x reader ||
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mapi and ingrid invite you to join them.
tonight had been a long time coming. you were no stranger to tension in the locker room. by the time that you arrived at barcelona, your body count had well-exceeded your jersey number. your paths had crossed a few times with a couple of the girls on the team already, even if it had only ever been on the pitch.
within your first month there, you had managed to find your way into a couple of your new teammates' beds. it hadn't been intentional, just a few drinks and dancing gone a bit too far. it had been a bit of a shock to mapi when she had heard patri and pina talking about you, and even more so whenever ingrid had been unphased.
"she was much more wild at wolfsburg." mapi's jaw had dropped at ingrid's simple comment. you knew ingrid's bed well, and a part of mapi felt jealous whenever she looked at you. their sex life wasn't stale, but a part of her longed to know what it would have been like with you in their bed as well.
ingrid had figured it out almost instantly. mapi was flustered around you, something that ingrid found amusing. you had picked up on it as well, but your soft spot for ingrid kept you from flirting or seeking it out. if they wanted you, then they'd just have to make the first move. you had confidence that ingrid would eventually come talk to you, but you hadn't expected it to be during a team bonding night.
you were no stranger to the club scene, but you felt out of place in alexia's apartment for movie night. there were some drinks flowing for those who wanted them, but you didn't want to embarrass yourself. besides, there were a lot of young players there that you wanted to be a good influence for. barcelona was interested in you for the long run, and you didn't want to mess that one up.
"it's been a long time since we've been close like this," ingrid whispered in your ear. she had her arm draped across your shoulders loosely. mapi shifted on the other side of her to steal a kiss, which was when ingrid tugged you even closer.
"what are you doing?" you asked her. ingrid just shrugged your question off as she let her hand fall down a bit.
"act natural like i know you can," ingrid told you. she let her hand roam a little, brushing against places that you didn't know she remembered. you took a sip of your drink and tried to keep your attention on the movie. it was no use, not once ingrid's hand squeezed your hip. she was smirking when you glanced over at her after jumping a little.
"it is late, we should go," mapi announced. the girls were putting on another movie when ingrid stood up. your building was on the way to theirs, so mapi offered to drive you home. ingrid clung to your side, leading you out of alexia's apartment. most of the team had no idea of what you were in for, but the few that you had hooked up with knew better.
you had gotten pretty good at ignoring judgemental or knowing looks from people, but the look in frido's eyes got to you. the two of you hadn't ever slept together, but she knew about your feelings for ingrid. she had been there at wolfsburg whenever you and ingrid had been sleeping together, and she had heard all about the aftermath of it all from former teammates.
"don't hog her," mapi said as she tugged you out of ingrid's grasp. you hadn't expected her to be so forward, especially not in the parking lot. it was possible that there could be prying eyes, but mapi didn't care. her hands found their home on your ass as she pulled you against her body. "ingrid tells me that you're quite the kisser."
"you'll just have to find out for yourself," you teased. mapi bit her lip as she glanced at you. the two of you were at eye level with each other, but neither of you cared to hold eye contact. mapi's eyes were fixated on your lips up until she leaned in for the kiss. you hadn't known what to expect, but she was very forward with the kiss.
you leaned back a bit as ingrid moved in behind you. you happily found yourself pinned between them for the first time that night. mapi's lips were soft and tasted a little bit of whatever fruity drink alexia had in the pitcher for everybody. mapi pressed deeper and deeper with her kiss until she managed to pull a moan from your lips.
"come on, there are better places to be doing this." ingrid pulled you out of mapi's arms and into the car. she drove with a hand on your thigh the entire time. her fingertips dipped past the bottom hem of your shorts, nearly brushing against your underwear.
a part of you wanted to think that ingrid didn't mean to rile you up so much, but you knew better. ingrid wanted you begging and pleading with her to fuck you before the three of you managed to get into the bedroom. ingrid was more mindful of her touches whenever the two of you were in the elevator and hallway, but mapi wasn't.
"i bet you look unreal coming apart on my strap," mapi whispered in your ear. she grabbed you by the hips and pulled you back to grind against her. ingrid bit her lip as she glanced over at the two of you. she had been nervous before tonight about inviting you into their bedroom. mapi was jealous, but the woman was having her fun with you, which excited ingrid more than anything else. ingrid already knew how good of a fuck you could be, and now mapi would get to experience that as well.
"maria wants to fuck you in the ass," ingrid told you. your cheeks turned a deep shade of red, despite your lack of surprise. you had caught mapi staring at your ass in practice several times before. ingrid didn't say anything else as she tugged you into mapi's apartment. "you already know how i want you, don't you?"
"here?" you questioned. ingrid shook her head and brought you back to the bedroom. mapi rushed in behind the two of you. both women helped you strip out of your clothing before ingrid laid you out on the bed. your head was hanging off of the side as you watched mapi and ingrid undress each other.
it was a bit odd to look in from your position, but you were grateful for it. there was a sense of longing as you watched them together, but it was quickly overshadowed by desire when you caught ingrid's eye. she whispered something to mapi, who climbed onto the bed to join you.
"tu eres bonita," mapi mumbled against your skin. she started on your neck, kissing and sucking little marks to the skin there before moving south. you threaded your fingers in her hair, gently guiding her head down in between your legs. mapi happily moved where you wanted her, eagerly lapping at your cunt.
"don't go quiet on us yet," ingrid said as she cupped your jaw. she pulled your head back, forcing you to look away from mapi between your legs. ingrid pushed her thumb past your lips and watched you suck. she let you get a rhythm with that before she switched to her two middle fingers.
ingrid fucked your mouth with her fingers. the thrusts of her fingers were fairly shallow except for the odd one or two that she pushed in further to make you gag. ingrid pulled her fingers away from your mouth, making a show of wiping your spit off against your cheek as she did. mapi glanced up from between your legs to see ingrid slowly thrust her hips forward to have you deep throating her strap-on.
"fuck," mapi groaned as leaned back a bit to get a better view. ingrid shot mapi a warning look to continue with you. she glanced back down between your legs to admire the slickness of your arousal. mapi used one of her hands to rub at your clit as her other one focused on fingering you. "you're taking my fingers so well, bebita."
"don't let her cum," ingrid said. mapi let out a little whine, but ingrid assured her that it would be worth it. between them, you felt your stomach tighten a little as they spoke about the things they wanted to do to you. mapi got you right up to the edge with her fingers, but then pulled her fingers away at ingrid's insistence.
"if it was up to me, you'd be cumming all night long," mapi told you. she trailed kisses up from your stomach, moving to make room for ingrid between your legs as she did. ingrid positioned herself in between your legs, lazily stroking the head of her cock between your folds.
"we have all night, there's no need to rush," ingrid said as she pulled your legs up to wrap around her waist. she didn't outright thrust into you, instead grinding in a way that you knew was getting her off as well. you thought it was a bit odd that ingrid seemed to be stalling, but once you looked over to see mapi approaching you with another strap-on, you knew why. "(y/n) is very good at eating pussy. mapi, sit on her face."
ingrid had pulled your body back enough so that your head wasn't leaning over the edge of the bed anymore. mapi knelt over your face, surprised when your arms tugged her down to settle a little deeper. mapi didn't doubt what ingrid had just told her about you, but she hadn't expected you to be so eager in eating her out.
"you love the taste of maria on your tongue, don't you? she's already rutting against your hips like a whore. make her cum, and we'll both have you seeing stars. come on, i know how much you like showing off," ingrid said as she fucked you. ingrid knew how much her words affected you. she knew exactly how much you liked hearing her talk about how well you were taking her cock or how well you ate her girlfriend out.
"ingrid, i'm so close," mapi huffed out. her hips had been bucking wildly on your face as she ground her cunt against your tongue. ingrid slowed down her thrusts as she watched you push mapi over the edge. the angle wasn't good to see exactly what your mouth was doing, but she got a good idea. there weren't that many forms of stimulation that had mapi cumming that quickly, and ingrid knew from experience how much you loved focusing on the clit.
"do you hear that (y/n)? mapi's gonna cum for you, and then, you get to cum too. after that, we're gonna flip you over and fuck you until you're begging us to stop. i want personally want to see how many times you can cum on my cock," ingrid told you. mapi's body was spasming above you, but all you could think about was the way ingrid was talking to you. she had changed a lot since wolfsburg, becoming much more confident in her dominance than you remembered.
one of ingrid's hands moved down from where they had both been gripping your waist. there wasn't much room for her hand to squeeze in between your bodies, but ingrid found it. she knew that she could thrust into you all night, but if she wanted you to cum, you needed more. ingrid was happy to give you that. she wanted to watch you cumming and crying out her name with mapi's arousal absolutely coating the bottom half of your face.
your cries of pleasure echoed off of ingrid's bedroom walls. mapi was squeezing her thighs together as she watched you and ingrid together. she could tell that ingrid wasn't far behind you, the few little deep thrusts she took once you had stopped clenching around her being the trick to push her over the edge.
the squeeze of ingrid's hands on your waist were a bit rough, but served as a reminder of the things she could do to you. ingrid was the softest and most gentle person that you had ever met, but in the bedroom things were different. ingrid manhandled you a little as she flipped you onto your stomach. she leaned down and kissed you, serving as a distraction as mapi moved in behind you.
"are you okay with mapi fucking you in the ass?" ingrid asked you. the question was blunt and direct, enough so that you were blushing deeply as you nodded. "use your words. she won't touch you until she hears you tell her that it's okay. if you don't want that, we can find something else to do. we could take turns with your pussy if you wanted instead."
"i want this. i want mapi to fuck me while you're fucking me," you told them. mapi leaned over and started trailing kisses from your upper back down your spine. ingrid laid back against the pillows and pulled you up to lay on her lap. ingrid grabbed your jaw with one hand and pulled you in for a kiss.
behind you, you could feel mapi try to position you. she seemed slightly afraid to move you around like ingrid had been all night. ingrid seemed to sense this as well and started to help mapi get you laid out how they'd need you to be. you could feel the length of ingrid's strap pressing against your cunt, occasionally grinding as either of you moved.
"your ass is perfect," mapi muttered as she spread you apart. this wasn't a completely foreign position, but it was all still new to you. mapi moved slowly, easing you into each of her motions. at the first feeling of her tongue, you knew that you'd be back in their bed again. the sensation was addicting, and you longed to feel her tongue elsewhere on your body.
"you don't have to hold back with us," ingrid told you. she knew that you could be a bit shy about the noises you made while getting fucked. ingrid wanted to hear all of them, but more importantly, she wanted mapi to hear you. she wanted mapi to hear you completely falling apart with both of them inside of you. she wanted mapi to hear the way that you screamed out in pleasure once ingrid would get to fucking you again.
things had slowed down drastically as mapi stretched you out from behind. there was no rush to any of her movements, not even once she had you stretched enough to comfortably take her strap. it felt much smaller than ingrid's, which was still being ground against your cunt as mapi began to slowly thrust inside of you.
"how does it feel bebita?" mapi asked you. she leaned down, whispering her words into the shell of your ear. you shuddered, quiet moans and whimpers escaping you.
"good, so fucking good," you mumbled. "ingrid, please."
"we've got you." ingrid pressed a kiss to your cheek as she shifted her hips and began to slide inside of you. as much as ingrid wanted to pin you down against her body and thrust into you wildly, she knew that you needed to be slowly worked up. your arousal was dripping down onto ingrid's thighs, having made a complete mess of yourself, but you were far from finished. "mapi, you need to start moving."
mapi glanced down at you to check before she made any real movement. slowly, she inched her way inside of you. each thrust was shallow, and mapi made sure that you were comfortable before she started to get deeper. it was torturously slow, but ingrid allowed you enough space to move freely. mapi was so caught up in making sure that she didn't hurt you that she didn't realize you rocking back until you urged ingrid to move as well.
"this isn't too much for you?" mapi sounded surprised, and if it was any other time, you would have been blushing with embarrassment. now, you were shamelessly rocking yourself between the two of them, setting a pace that you could just barely handle.
"no, i want more," you told her. mapi glanced down at ingrid who just nodded. you felt mapi's hands grip your hips from behind as she began to fuck you harder. ingrid started to thrust up, matching mapi's pace easily. ingrid's thrusts were harder than mapi's, a small show of ingrid's somewhat hidden strength.
both of them fucking you at the same time felt wildly different than when you had been fucking yourself between them. you felt consistently fuller in a way that you hadn't felt before. your body felt like it was constantly on edge, just waiting for ingrid or mapi to let you know that you could cum.
"we're going to move you," ingrid told you. it was impressive how ingrid and mapi managed to completely flip your positioning without having to pull out. now, mapi was thrusting up into your ass from beneath you while ingrid rougly drove her hips into yours. she had your legs spread wide open as she fucked you, not allowing for any of the noises to be muffled.
"don't bite your lip. i want to hear you," mapi said as she grabbed at your jaw. she hooked two of her fingers under your jaw, holding your mouth open. you were sure that it had to be quite the sight, especially with the way that ingrid stared at you. her eyes flicked from between your legs to your face, occasionally stopping to watch the way your breasts bounced as you were fucked.
you were pushed well beyond being able to form anything coherent. mapi's fingers in your mouth didn't help your case, but they both seemed to understand your attempt to warn them of your orgasm. this time, ingrid didn't stop, fucking you straight from one into another. mapi stalled in her movements, waiting until ingrid moved to pull out.
"do you need anything?" mapi asked as she pulled you into her arms. you had been with couples before, and normally, you were forced out as soon as the fun was over. maybe it was a spanish thing, or maybe it was just mapi, but you liked being kept around for a bit longer and looked after.
"i'm okay. i can leave if you need me to," you said. ingrid shook her head as she leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead.
"you stay right there for now. i'll be back, i promise." you weren't sure who the last part was for, but both you and mapi watched ingrid grab some clothes and disappear. you heard the door to her apartment shut, leaving you alone with mapi for the first time.
"do you want to take a shower?" mapi asked you. laying against her was nice, especially with the way her hand gently stroked your high and the outside of your thigh. you had been a bit nervous with mapi, knowing that your body was simply built different than ingrid's. however, mapi had shown your body love and attention while you were in her bed. "i can go with you if you'd like, or not. if we go now, we can be done by the time ingrid gets back with the food."
"together? you want to shower with me?" you asked her.
"we don't have to, but it will be quicker," mapi told you. you knew that there was more she wanted to say, another reason, but the two of you left it in the air. the idea of it sounded nice, so you agreed to it. you had no idea how intimate it was going to feel, but instead of running away from it, you let yourself lean into it.
mapi doted on you inside and outside of the shower. she let you borrow a pair of her sweatpants and a sports bra. the two of you sat on the couch wrapped up in a big blanket with a german reality tv show that ingrid had gotten obsessed with in germany queued up. you felt less like someone they had just brought over to fuck, and more included than you had thought possible.
even after the impromptu midnight snack and reality tv binge, they brought you back to their bed. mapi changed the sheets as ingrid leaned against your body, sleepy kisses pressed along the side of your neck. you curled into ingrid once the three of you were settled on the bed. she held onto you tightly, like she was afraid you'd run off if she did anything else. mapi laid on ingrid's other side, but kept one of her hands threaded in your hair as she scratched lightly at your scalp. it was all almost too much for you, but you openly embraced the comfort that you had denied yourself for so long.
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She is Heaven
Leah Williamson x Cowgirl!reader
Warning:Heaven is out of reach and you can’t blame anyone else but yourself
The roar of the crowd at the CMA festival was almost drowned out by the pounding of your heart. You'd never been to Nashville, never been further east than South Dakota, but here you were, all because of Mitch and his rodeo star girlfriend, Dakota. You shuffled through the throngs of cowboy hats and rhinestones laughing at locals trying to fit into the cowboy narrative, the air thick with the sweet tang of barbecue and spilled beer.
Mitch had given you your pass to the VIP section just behind the sound desk, flashing your lanyard you walked up the steps letting out a breath you didn't even realise you were holding in, you turned looking at the other people that had gathered in the section your eyes flicking around for Mitch or Dakota when your eyes landed on a small group of women laughing before turning as Mitch placed his hand on your shoulder "Hey, you good Oakley." you turned fully facing him "Yeah all good." Mitch had been calling you Oakley as long as you could remember refusing to call you Y/n, you were Oakley to him only to him after Annie Oakley a famous female gunslinger.
You were broken from the conversation by the sound of the three women walking past you and exiting the VIP section, your ears seemed to prick up at the sound of the unfamiliar accent, but the world seemed to go quiet as the taller girl turned her blue eyes catching your greenish gold ones.
"My God she's gorgeous." you thought to yourself.
The festival was in full swing and you were sipping a beer talking to Mitch about his upcoming rodeo gig in California when you felt a tap on your shoulder, You met the same blue eyes you had locked with a short while ago before your eyes drifted to her lips as she started talking "Hi, would you mind taking a photo of us please." You handed Mitch your beer wiping your suddenly sweaty hands in your jeans before reaching for the phone in her hand mumbling out a small sure.
"Alright saw cheese." you smiled at the screen as the three women wrapped their arms around eachother saying a loud cheese as they smiled for the photo.
You smiled at the taller girl as she said a soft thank you taking the phone before you began speaking, your Montana twang thick in the southern air, "that accent's somethin' else. Where you from?"
The woman smiled, a smile that could light up a rodeo arena. "England. I'm Leah." you outstretched your hand shaking hers "I'm Y/n."
Your knowledge of England extended as far as tea and the Queen, but Leah's accent, when she spoke to you, sent a shiver down your spine. It was melodic, a complete contrast to the twang you were used to. Hesitation warred with curiosity. You weren't exactly known for your social graces – you were more comfortable wrangling a stubborn steer than making small talk. But something about Leah propelled you forward.
"England, huh? That's a long way from Nashville." you drawled, trying to sound nonchalant despite the butterflies erupting in your stomach.
Leah, seemingly unfazed, laughed, a light, tinkling sound. "It certainly is," she admitted, her eyes sparkling. "I'm here with my Nan and cousin for the festival."
"Cool, that there is my best friend, Mitch, we're here to watch his girlfriend play it's her first major festival." Leah smiled "Wow, what's her name." God her accent was something else "Eh Dakota, Dakota Jones." Leah's eyes seemed to shine "No way, no way we love her."
A smile bloomed on your face, a genuine one that crinkled the corners of your eyes. Maybe Nashville wasn't so bad after all. "Well, you'll get to see her then, she's on next!" The music thrummed through the ground, a contagious beat that made you want to tap your boots. You glanced at Mitch, who was busy chatting with a group of cowboys, then back at Leah. "You guys should stick around, you might even get to meet her."
Leah's smile widened the kind that seemed to reach her eyes. "That would be amazing! Like I said we're huge fans." Her enthusiasm was infectious, and you found yourself wanting to share Dakota's success with them. "Come on, then," you said, gesturing towards the open chairs near Mitch. "Let's get you settled in for the show."
As you led them over, you stole a glance at Leah. The way the stage lights twinkled in her hair, the way her eyes sparkled with excitement – it was like something out of a dream. You weren't sure what it was, but there was definitely something about this English girl that made your heart skip a beat.
As you reached Mitch, you introduced Leah and her companions, a petite woman with a kind face who you assumed was her Nan, and a bubbly blonde you learned was her cousin, Jordan. Mitch, ever the charmer, greeted them with a southern drawl that had Leah and Lily giggling, "Don't mind him he's as southern as the state of Wyoming." Leah laughed at your little dig.
The conversation flowed easily, filled with questions about rodeo life from the wide-eyed English girls and tales of your Montana ranch from you. You found yourself captivated by Leah's stories of quaint villages 1000s of years old, a world far removed from your own.
"So what do you do for a living then?" You asked taking a swig of beer. "I play football," Leah answered nonchalantly with your eyebrows "Football, they have girls football in England." Leah laughed "Yeah like soccer, I play soccer only in England we call it football." Football? Soccer? You furrowed your brow, completely lost. "Like...kicking a ball around?"
Leah laughed again, a sound that was starting to feel dangerously intoxicating. "Something like that, yes. Though it's a bit more complex than that." She gestured towards the stage, where Dakota had just appeared on. "This is quite the experience, though. The music, the energy, it's electric."
But even as the crowd roared and the lights pulsed, you couldn't help but steal glances at Leah. There was a connection there, a spark that you couldn't quite explain. And as Dakota's powerful voice filled the arena, you knew this trip to Nashville, with all its twists and turns, was going to be one you wouldn't soon forget.
As the night began to draw to a close you found yourself feeling anxious over the thought of never seeing Leah again, "How long are you here for." Leah sighed "Not long I'm afraid we came just for this and i have to be back in England by the end of the week cause I'm heading into another England camp."
Your stomach clenched. A week. It felt like mere seconds since you'd locked eyes with Leah across the crowded VIP section, and already the thought of her leaving felt like a punch to the gut.
"England camp?" you repeated, hoping to buy yourself some time to process the information.
"Yeah," Leah explained, her smile dimming slightly. "I play for the national team. We have a big tournament coming up."
National team. Wow. You weren't sure what was more surprising – the fact that Leah was a world-class athlete, or the fact that you, a simple ranch girl from Montana, had managed to strike up a conversation with her.
"That's incredible, Leah," you managed to stammer, forcing a smile.
"Thanks," she replied, her gaze lingering on yours for a beat too long before glancing away.
You had only just met this girl, but the thought of her flying halfway across the world and never seeing her again felt earth-shattering.
An awkward silence descended, broken only by the faint sounds of roadies dismantling the stage and the distant chatter of departing festival-goers. You stole another glance at Leah, catching the flicker of disappointment in her eyes. Was she feeling the same way you were? A crazy, exhilarating hope bubbled up within you.
Mitch, sensing the shift in mood, nudged you playfully. "Well, Oakley," he drawled. "Looks like it's time for us to head back to the hotel. Long drive tomorrow."
You shot him a grateful look. Mitch always knew how to read a situation.
"Yeah, you're right," you agreed, standing up a little too abruptly.
As you said your goodbyes, Leah's hand lingered in yours a touch longer than was strictly necessary. Her blue eyes held a hint of something you couldn't quite decipher, a mix of sadness and a spark of something else entirely.
You stole another glance at Leah, hoping to catch her eye. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way to stay in touch. But her head was bent over her phone, fingers rapidly typing a message. Disappointment gnawed at you, but you forced it down.It wouldn't be fair to get ahead of yourself.
As you said your goodbyes, Leah's smile returned, a hint of something warmer in her eyes. "It was lovely meeting you,Y/n," she said, her voice dropping to a soft murmur. "And good luck to Dakota, she was amazing."
"Thanks, Leah," you replied, your voice thick with unspoken emotions. "You too. Enjoy your camp."
As you walked away with Mitch, a part of you ached with the thought of leaving Leah behind. Yet, another part, a more hopeful part, clung to the memory of her lingering gaze and the way her voice had softened when she spoke to you.
Maybe, just maybe, this wasn't goodbye. Maybe, despite the miles and the vast differences in your worlds, this Nashville encounter was just the beginning of something special.
Oh who were you kidding this was the closest you had ever gotten to heaven and you didn't even ask for her number to stay there even for just a short while longer.
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cheapshrimpysheep · 2 days
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Meaningful Kiss 2
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SUMMARY: Would they make Public Displays of Affection? If not, are they protective instead? And how do they show you how much they truly love you through their kisses? 💋
CHARACTERS: Freshmen (Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, Sebek)
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Romantic Relationship; Kissing; Flirting
WARNING: Spoilers from Ace Suitor Suit Card Vignettes
WORD COUNT: An average of 330 words per character.
COMMENTS: The first Meaningful Kiss with the Overblot Students went so well and so many people liked it that I thought about doing another one with the next most popular group, the Freshmen. And according to a poll more than 80% of the votes were for "OMG! YES PLEASE!" So here it is.
I hope you all enjoy 😘
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CONTEXT: For some of them I needed to think first about what the beginning of the relationship would be like. But this would already be how they would act in an established relationship.
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Ace is kinda into PDA, but more to tease you and mess with you. He is very comfortable with you. He has no problem putting his arm around your shoulders or waist with a playful smile. Often to try to convince you not to be the voice of reason and join him in trouble.
In public he may hug you a lot, but the only kisses he gives you are on the forehead or cheek. Because on the lips, those are the special ones! And those are reserved for your private moments.
You two are usually alone in Ramshackle Dorm, mainly in the Lounge. You would have many movie sessions where you would make popcorn and snacks together. And it is in these moments, where there is a high chance of you messing with each other, like throwing flour at each other or smearing each other's noses with chocolate, that his most meaningful kisses can happen. In a fun atmosphere.
His most meaningful kisses are playful and grateful. He hugs you like he never wants to lose you. His kisses are passionate, not in a sense of desire, but in a sense of gratitude. You know those moments when something happens that makes a person remember why they love someone else? These are those moments and those kisses. These kisses mean "thank you for being in my life".
However, there are also certain other times when kisses like this can happen. Imagine him getting into trouble and you ending up in trouble too. But of course, instead of handing Ace over, you protect him, help him hide or even hide with him. It is in these moments that you can also receive a passionate kiss from him. “Thank you for being my partner in crime” kisses.
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Deuce is very new to these things, so he's not a fan of PDA. But even when he's gotten used to your relationship, he doesn't see PDA as something necessary. You love each other and you only need to prove that to each other.
BUT if you really like it when he hugs you or gives you a kiss on the cheek, he might do it for you. On the lips, those are the special ones and he is very embarrassed to give them to you in public because he needs to be comfortable to kiss you properly.
At first, he will still get flustered easily and probably blush a lot. It's all very new to him. So, even holding your hand will take a little while for him to get used to it. But once enough time has passed, he won't have any problems even linking his arm with you. And also given enough time, he will start to be that boyfriend who gives you a kiss on the cheek every time he greets you and every time he says goodbye.
For his most meaningful kisses there will be special places. Places where he will take you on his Blastcycle (Magical Wheel). If he takes you on a date. These kisses can also happen in sporadic moments where he feels so happy to have you that he forgets everything else.
His kisses are passionate, urgent, like it's something he needs to give you. You know when he gets so angry that his ex-delinquent self shows up? Now think about that intensity and lack of control, but with love and affection. He is more sentimental than rational, so I believe he is the type of person who is not ashamed to tell the people closest to him how important they are. And he won't think twice to decide whether to show you how much he loves you or not in a romantic moment.
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Jack tries not to do PDA, or at least he tried more in the beginning. It's all still very new to him and he knows that you are his partner for life, so there is plenty of time to get used to the relationship.
Wolf beastmen only have one special someone, ever. They choose a single partner to care for. He chose you, the same way you chose him and now he is committed to you for life. And both he and you expect this to be a long time, so there's no need to rush anything.
He's not much into PDA, but eventually he'll feel more comfortable holding hands with you or letting you link your arm through his. At first, any kiss was still awkward in public, but after a while he ended up having no problem giving you a quick kiss on the cheek if you asked, or if he was very happy. And only some time after this phase, he will feel more comfortable giving you a quick kiss on the lips, usually to say goodbye.
Why are all his kisses in public quick? Because the slow ones are the private ones. Despite his tough wolf exterior, with you, especially in private, he can be a puppy. Rare are the times when he isn’t wagging his tail when he's with you. Or smiling, even if it's just a little. He likes to cuddle! The best moments alone with you are when you can rest in each other's arms. You can pet him. Please do.
He gives you sweet, light and lingering kisses on your cheeks and lips, but the most meaningful ones are a mix of gentleness and excitement. Do you know when dogs are so happy that they get excited? Think of that excitement, but gentler, more caring, more careful. He wants to show you how much he loves you, but he is also aware of his strength and that you are a human, less strong than a beastman/woman.
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Being faithful to the character and his complexes, I don't believe Epel would have a relationship with someone more masculine than himself. So I believe his significant other would be more feminine than him or a girl.
If you're not a girl, it might take longer for him to get to this stage. But if you are, at first he may see you as a bit of a trophy, just a little. You will find him more cocky than usual and he won't have any problems with PDA, quite the opposite, he wants to show everyone your relationship. He'll put his arm around you a lot, whether it's around your shoulders or your waist. He'll try to get over the fact that you're taller than him if you are, but if you're shorter, he might feel like the protective boyfriend he so wants to be.
It will be a rocky start. And you will have to have a talk with him about the sudden change in attitude towards you. He will apologize a lot and reveal that yes, he is proud of himself for being in a relationship with you, because he is proud to be someone you can trust and fall in love with. The last thing he wants is to be disrespectful to you. This is still new for him, so can you help him be better?
After this beginning of learning, you will discover that yes, he genuinely likes PDA. He is a prideful person. Proud of himself for the person he is becoming with you and proud of you for... everything. And he wants to show everyone how much you deserve his affection.
He can hold your hand, hug you, and give you kisses on the cheek, but kisses on the lips are special, and less confident, at least at first. He has no experience and he doesn't want to ruin the moment. But once he gets used to it, you'll find that his kisses are just as sweet, cute and delicate as the appearance he's learning to embrace.
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Good Luck! Sebek is... intense, but slow. Especially because he follows Lilia's “advices” too much. According to Lilia, once he falls in love with someone, he must pen them a letter. With a fountain pen since that and stationery are the true weapons in matters of love. He shall pen his feelings, slip a photo of his smiling visage into every third missive, and repeat this until the twenty-fifth full moon.
Of course you won't be able to bear this for long and you'll have to have a talk with him and Lilia. He’ll ask Lilia what to do from now on, and seeing that things are real now, he'll probably just reply: "Whatever you feel you should do. Trust your heart, but never overlapping yours with (Y/N)’s. That's it! Good luck."
Just like he does with Malleus, Sebek's way of showing that he likes someone is by admiring and protecting them. So, at first it will be just that, he will be close to you and you will receive many words of affirmation.
However, even after he becomes more comfortable with you, you will find that he is indifferent to PDA. At least PDA initiated by him. But if you say you want to hold hands, a hug, a kiss, whatever it is, your wishes are orders! Literally!
In that case, he will never have any problem doing any of the things you ask. Do you want to walk hand in hand? He will extend his hand like a gentleman asking his date to dance. Do you want a hug? He'll open his arms and let you in, maybe even give you a kiss on the forehead if you're feeling down.
Do you want a kiss? What kind of kiss? On the forehead? Granted! On the cheek? For sure! On the lips? Then you have to be careful. Remember that he never hides how much he likes and admires someone. He doesn't exactly have one kiss more special than the other. he will give you any kind of kiss you wish. Like I said, your wishes are orders and you will feel it in his kisses. His most meaningful kisses are all, because they are all to make you happy.
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If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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kinopio-writes · 2 days
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HH Characters x Physically Affectionate!Reader (Pt.2)
A/N: The last part. Enjoy, lol.
Bonus character: Zestial!
Warnings: Mention of sex on Adam’s and Vox’s part, but nothing explicit
———
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Sir Pentious
• he’s not used to it and is uncomfortable with it (he makes a weird face every time you touch him)
• he’ll be fine after you two become close, though
• but don’t try to overdo it
• if he likes you romantically, however, he blushes crazy every time you touch him
• he doesn’t really have a favorite one
• he turns red no matter what
• and his love language (receiving end) is more about words of affirmation, anyway
———
Lucifer
• if you’re together with Lucifer, he’s likely smitten with you, so he becomes really giddy whenever you give him affection
• he probably starts stimming (doing little kicks or squealing)
• this guy loves to be held a lot
• oh, but he loves it when you nuzzle into him
• his favorite is forehead touching
• it’s really tender and he melts at that type of affection
———
Adam
• usually, every time you touch him, he’ll think that you want to fuck
• so he’s fucking confused whenever you don’t escalate any further than a kiss
• he does that thing where even when you pull away, he’s still leaning toward you, eyes fluttering
• he’ll probably get used to it
• his favorite is when you just cling to him
• if you’re not short enough to do that, he loves it when you just put your head on top of his while you two are curling up on the couch (he finds it cute)
• he also loves getting massages from you
———
Lute
• she’s not affectionate in general nor is she a fan of it
• so if she’s not that close to you, you better back the fuck up ’cause she’s going to take that as a genuine attack
• it’s worse if you do it out of nowhere (seriously, you will end up with a broken arm)
• but, if you two are sort of close and she’s used to your affections, she’s aloof to it all
• she will even start to initiate them herself unknowingly
• it’s because she mirrors the people she likes, which is not a lot, lol (everyone does this—I think—but Lute’s just more noticeable)
• back rubs are her favorite (not full-on massages, though, just a little rub after she got done training or something)
• she might like head pats, too (she feels praised whenever you do it. This works exceptionally well if you’re taller than her)
———
Vox
• he’s not that physically affectionate
• unless it’s sexual
• he’d be pretty weirded out if you just wanted to hold hands or something
• but after he gets used to it, he becomes nonchalant about it
• he’ll start grabbing your hand on his own accord (it becomes instinctive)
• he’s fine with PDA, but don’t try to be all lovey-dovey when he’s in conversation or dealing with someone else
• his favorite is when you two are just snuggled up on the couch doing your own separate thing
———
Zestial
• I added him in because I wanted it to be even
• anyway, he’s more hand-kissing and linking arms type of gentleman
• and the most he’ll do in public is link arms
• he thinks displays of affection should be private
• even then, he’s not that physically affectionate
• he doesn’t have a favorite, but considering that he’s cold-blooded, he quite likes it when you snuggle onto him and make him warm (this only works well if you’re just as tall as him, lol)
———
This was relaxing to do. I’ll likely write more stuff like this in the future whenever I feel unmotivated to write.
The next three requests I’m going to post at a much later date will probably suck ass. Sorry to the ones who send those in. And for making you wait a long time as well. If they even remember…
My favorite ones to write from the two posts were…mostly everyone! These were so fun to write. I sort of had a writer panic midway, but it was still fun. It’s probably because I used too many parentheses and it bothered me or something.
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hana-no-seiiki · 3 days
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WHY DON’T YOU GIVE ME A SMILE? (ACT 2)
YANDERE! BATFAM x JINX (ARCANE/LEAGUE)-ESQUE! READER
[ ACT ONE HERE ]
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cw/tw: mentally ill reader. schizophrenic reader. reader w/ abandonment issues. manipulative reader. crimes. arson.
summary: we dive deeper into Gotham's explosive personality and history with those that took the title of ‘boy wonder’
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MORE ON YOUR ORIGINS
“They were right! You’re just a Jinx.”
“Everybody shut up! I need to think!”
“We weren’t . . . “
As much as you scared the crap out of Joker’s goons. Since they saw you grow up first hand. A lot of them tended to be overprotective over you.
I mean, they’re insane enough to follow Joker. What more you?
They see you as his successor. An heir of sorts.
Which is why Jason Todd felt like he had no choice but to either fix you or keep you locked up.
You don’t remember much of him. If you did you would hate him.
He was the one that essentially helped you pull the trigger on your family.
If you haven’t read my other posts about it, here’s the rundown.
Jason had a massive crush on reader when the two of em were kids. Prior to everything. Before he was adopted, before reader set their world ablaze, before shit hit the fan essentially.
He saw how neglected you felt. The rejection you faced from your peers for not being strong enough. For being small and weak.
Him and your sister were pretty popular amongst the kids but it only made the comparisons worse.
It was always how they were “twice the kids at [Y/N]’s age.”
And so he thought of a little gift. Just a little something to show the others how cool you really are.
He didn’t expect you to use it that way. And the worst part of it all, he wasn’t there to comfort you. I mean sure, dozens of people died that day. Many of which he was somewhat fond of. But he was sure they’d want him to comfort you. To say that it wasn’t your fault.
And despite all that, you only knew Jason as that one guy Joker went too far with.
“Hey, [N/N].”
The call of your name almost froze you on the spot. Their screams pushed forward from the back of your mind into the forefront. You didn’t think. Your hands just pulled the trigger of your machine gun on its own.
“Who the hell are you?” You grit your teeth. You’ve heard of this Red Hood going around and ruining your adoptive father’s plans lately.
And what’s worse? The man kept forcing you to stay away. Plying you with all sorts of prostitutes and all the money you could ever need or want.
Despite your hostile disposition, the man in question doesn’t return it. “I’m sorry. This was all my fault. I shouldn’t have left you behind.”
“Leave.” You lowered your machine gun. A sudden wave of drowsiness overwhelmed you. A sense of calm. Weakness. Everything was screaming at you to end the source. But if he kept dodging your bullets them perhaps diplomacy would work.
You breathed out. [Y/N]. That name, that identity — though it fell down a well and was long dead it still had it uses.
Softened voice, doe eyes, and posture loose. If you had no other weapon they you always had your vulnerability.
“You need to leave, Joker is coming soon and I can’t help you if you’re caught.”
“Who was that, Jinx?” Joker asked.
You turned around. Your eyes meeting his chest and then his face, where that wide, freakish grin was stuck unto him.
“Old man, I think you mean what.” The toxic pink glint flashed through your eyes as you once again buried your old self along with the rest of the corpses that have met their demise by your hand.
“Meet Fishbones.”
BACK TO YOUR RIVAL:
Recently Tim had been . . . more agreeable to your demands somewhat?
You could tell he was pulling his punches.
Sometimes he’d even join you in your exploits.
You never trusted him of course. You never trusted anyone but yourself. But he was fun to be around is all. Whether it was you two beating each other to near death or blowing up buildings (he made sure to evacuate its residents before you two went all out).
“You know. I kinda wanna blow up that building. Don’t you think we’ll have a better view of the sky that way, Timmy?” You pointed to the structure with your signature gun shaped hand gesture.
That was one of Bruce’s buildings.
“You . . . “ Tim blinked at you a couple of times. “are so right.”
“Let’s go.” You yanked him the hand.
Tim smiled. Even if he wasn’t making direct contact with your skin, and you with his — he couldn’t help but smile at the intimacy of this moment. What were his worries with you beside him? All the sadness and anger felt so fleeting when he was with you.
His glee almost costed him his life as it took him a couple of moments to realize that you have pushed him off a building after a while of parkour.
He managed to grapple himself back, and with your assistance, he got back up to the ledge you two were on.
He gave you one half hearted glare. You laugh at his face, “You’re such a loser! Always ready to cry! Wah wah wah!” And you set off. Getting within the building with no care for stealth whatsoever.
What was the point of being all sneaky like when you had bombs on you?
"Wait up! Get back here!" Tim ran after you. He didn’t mind that you were essentially destroying all his and Bruce’s hard-work on his industries, but you were being too reckless. He would sure as hell minded if you were caught.
Turns out he wasn’t so far off when it came to his fears and suspicions.
“You. You set me up.” You glared at him. Hands on your blaster. Ready to shoot at a moment’s notice. Your eyes flicking between the men in front of you, wondering who was best to pick off first.
Batman, Nightwing, or the man you stupidly thought was your friend.
“No. No you have to believe me I—“ Tim tried to explain. But Dick cuts him off, “Good job, we couldn’t have done it without you.”
“You traitor. I knew it. I knew it.” Your voice got weaker and weaker.
No, no, no. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t part of the plan. Tim was supposed to be with you for longer.
“I told you, you have no choice.” Bruce finally spoke. His cape moved to his back.
He wasn’t going to let you go. Not without making it bloody.
“Oh, boohoo. You’ve always been no fun!” Your eyes never leave the two dark suited men, but Tim knew you were speaking to him. “Good thing I never trusted you.”
And you take a deep breath, dropping the laughing gas Harley gave you for emergencies. It wasn’t as strong as the original one, hell you’re sure that those people probably expected that move. But it at least blocked their line of sights on you, allowing you to create some distance.
You managed to get far enough to ready your weapons and send a call of help to your adoptive parents before your prediction proved to be true — footsteps behind you; loud and clear.
“Look’s like we’ve got even more company. Huh, boy savior?”
“Don’t move and I won’t cut you down.”
Pow pow in your hand, and desperation in your mind. The last thing you heard is a blade unsheathing before you pull the trigger.
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୨ ©️ ୧⸝⸝﹕hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2024﹐⊂☁️⊃ ‹𝟹
AUTHOR’s NOTE: YALL THOUGHT THIS WAS GONE!! WELL THINK AGAIN!! I AM BACK!!! Sorry for the late update!! Man I’m so excited for season 2 of arcane ahahsheudidj
Taglist: @w31rdg1rl @cherry-peach-flavored @ice-cream-writes-stuff @speckle-meow-meow @inejghafawifesblog @sitepathos @mimiissia @rolo-at-midnight @mossyvampire @kawaiimusiccollection @harpy-space @takottai @maddeningmangos @obsessed-with-a-fictional @ihatemylifeuwu @caramelstrikezz @szapizzapanda @vanessa-boo @imbiafandbored @victor-rose @earphonejack09 @rainnyydaysworld @bubbabobabubbles @ksziggy @evan-trand @emo-z0mbiezzz @nyra-42 @h0rr0r-10ver-69 @orangeboulevard @alwayszealousdetective @huhuhhuhh @iwasveronica @imginarygirl @nebuluma @heyitsaloy @mysticalhills
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drabbles-mc · 2 days
Text
We Were Just Leaving
Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Warnings: 18+, smut (protected p in v), language, alcohol, strangers to lovers
For Week 2 of Hot Bucky Summer: "What should I call you?"
Word Count: 6.3k
A/N: my first time ever writing smut for bucky. it truly is a Hot Bucky Summer! 😂 biggest thanks to @buckybarnesevents for putting on this event! endless appreciation for all of your hard work 💞 maybe i'll write more for these two in this event if another prompt strikes inspo for them 👀
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Going out on your own to get a drink and decompress after a long week had sounded like a great idea until about three minutes ago. Ever since then you’d been silently kicking and cursing yourself for not taking up your coworkers on their Happy Hour offer. The last thing you’d wanted to do after the way your week had gone was socialize, even with coworkers that you generally liked and got along with.
But now that seemed like the greatest thing in the world compared to the situation you were about to find yourself in. Theo from the finance department and his same half a dozen jokes seemed like a dream to be across a table from compared to your ex who had just walked through the door of the bar you were at.
“Shit,” you muttered under your breath.
You had less than a couple minutes to try and scamper out before he saw you. And the only reason you had that kind of time at all was because the bar was busy and it would take longer to spot you in the midst of everyone. But the second that your ex got up to the bar with his buddies to order drinks, your cover would be blown.
You dug some cash out of your purse, tossing enough onto the top of the bar to cover the one drink you’d ordered so far and the tip for the bartender. You were zipping your bag back up as you were hopping off the stool that you’d been sitting on. Your eyes were fixed on your purse, frustrated that this was the one time that the zipper decided to jam. The whole time you were straining your ear to make sure that you could hear how close your ex was, trying to hear his voice or his laughter.
“Fuck,” you were trying to weave your way through the crowd but the clusters and groups of friends all lingering and waiting for their chance to slink up to the bar and order were all packed tightly. You didn’t remember when this spot became a popular place to be. You huffed, trying to say, “Excuse me,” loud enough for people to hear you but not so loud that it came across as rude or drew any real attention to you.
A pocket of space opened up and you were more relieved than you should’ve been. Clutching your bag tight to you, you took long, measured strides to try and slip through the small groups of people that had parted ways just enough for you to sneak through. You were almost to the other side of them, almost out of what would be an easy range for your ex to see you, when someone took a step backwards as they laughed and inadvertently bumped right into you.
The fact that it was an accident did nothing to soothe your nerves. Them stepping back sent you stumbling mid-stride and bumping right into someone sitting at one of the few small high-top tables that the bar had scattered around. You felt a hand on your back and the heat flaring up in your face and you were already sputtering out five different apologies at once before you’d even fully turned around to face the person you’d bumped into.
When you looked at his face, all the words stopped cascading past your lips. Still white-knuckling your purse, still feeling like your face and throat were on fire from embarrassment, you found yourself incapable of looking anywhere but at the icy blue eyes staring back at you.
He didn’t look happy about you bumping into him, per se, but he didn’t look as angry or annoyed as other people in the bar might’ve been. No drinks were spilled in the process, which was a bonus. He raised his eyebrows slightly as he looked at you, but his expression was otherwise neutral.
“S-sorry,” you finally forced out, clear but still uncertain.
He shook his head. “It’s fine.”
“Okay.” You nodded, knowing that you should be forcing your feet to carry you away, but you were locked in place.
His eyebrows went from raised to pinched together. Apparently, he took your hesitancy to leave as you not believing his simple reassurance. “Really,” he emphasized with a small nod, “it’s fine. You can go—seemed like you were in a rush anyway.”
Your eyes widened slightly at that, the full scope of the situation coming back to you. You cleared your throat. “Right. Thanks. Thank you. Sorry. I’m just gonna—” you were halfway to motioning over your shoulder when a vaguely familiar voice blared like an airhorn in your ear.
“Well look who it is!”
Turning to look over your shoulder, your stomach dropped. It wasn’t your ex, but you knew that he was going to run right back to your ex and tell him that you were here. Even if you tried to bolt it wasn’t going to do you any good. You were in it now.
“Hey,” you said, keeping it short, trying to make your tone as unenthusiastic as possible.
“Oh, Ricky’s gonna be stoked that you’re—”
“I was just—”
He waved you off. “Wait right here—I’ll go grab him.”
“Don’t—” It didn’t matter what you were going to say next because he was already taking back off towards the bar. You let out a deep sigh. “Fuck.”
You’d nearly forgotten the man stuck in the middle of all this until he spoke up again. “So, who’s Ricky?” There was a hint of amusement to his voice despite the fact that his expression hadn’t changed much at all.
You shook your head. “Whatever you’re already thinking, just go with that,” you said with a shake of your head.
“Rough.”
You had to laugh at the simple response. “Yeah. That’s why I was, you know,” you gestured vaguely towards the door that you had previously been trying to get to as quickly as possible.
You shook your head again, unable to do anything else. Each second that passed you could feel the anxious jitters building. You had no interest in talking to him ever again, and you knew that if he started talking to you, it was going to be nearly impossible to get out of it. That’s just how he was. You were so deep in thought and oncoming panic that you hadn’t noticed the way you were gnawing the inside of your lip until you felt a slight sting from it.
Turning to look at the man who hadn’t asked for any of this, you said, “You don’t owe me a favor, but do you think you could still do one for me?”
He shook his head, “I’m not gonna beat up—”
That got a genuine laugh out of you. “No, no. I mean, I bet you could. But just, can you pretend that we were here together and that we were leaving? I just, I need an exit strategy.”
“What, you want me to pretend to be your new boyfriend so your old one will leave you alone?”
“You don’t have to be my boyfriend. Just, be some friend that wanted to grab a drink with me. And get me the fuck out of here. Please.”
The pause that ensued didn’t give you anything resembling hope. But he must’ve taken just enough pity on you because his shoulders dropped as he sighed. “Alright, fine.”
Relief coursed through you even though you were nowhere near through this exchange yet. “Thank you.”
“What should I call you?” he asked.
You gave him a confused look. “My…my name, I guess?”
Your face and the tone of your response had him feeling whatever embarrassment you’d been battling with earlier when you bumped into him. He saw it all over your face then, and he was certain that you could see it all over his face now. The whole situation was much simpler about sixty seconds ago when you were the more flustered one in the scenario. Now he was the one in uncertain territory. He didn’t know why he asked it like that, but it was what had come out of his mouth when he tried to ask you for your name. It crossed his mind for a moment that maybe you’d bumped into the wrong person to get you out of this mess but it was too late now.
“Yeah. Um, enlighten me?” The laugh that you let out at that wasn’t a cruel one, which was the only reason he didn’t double-down on his embarrassment. You were amused, perhaps even a little relieved. After all, you could’ve just told him your name in response to his first question. As it stood, you told him now and he nodded. “Right.”
You figured you should know his too. “What’s—”
You didn’t get to finish the question let alone get the answer before your ex and his friend reappeared in front of you. They each had a drink in their hand and smug smiles on their faces. The reality of what had you asking ridiculous favors of a stranger you’d only known for about five minutes suddenly crashed down over you again. The knot in your stomach was back with a vengeance as you looked at the man in front of you, knowing that he was feeling none of the dread that you currently were.
“I didn’t believe it when he told me,” Ricky spoke up, nodding in the direction of his friend. “Thought you were still avoiding me.”
You forced yourself to swallow past the lump in your throat. “I tried to tell him that we were just taking off,” you replied, hating how defeated you sounded.
The smug look on your ex’s face disappeared instantly when he heard the word we. It was only then that he realized you were standing right next to a man. A man whose name you still didn’t know but he didn’t know that part.
“We?” Ricky repeated. “Well, care to introduce us?”
You tried not to let your panic show on your face. At this point you were ready to just give this random stranger you’d met in a bar an equally random name and apologize for it later. You barely registered the sound of his chair scraping against the floor as he pushed it away from the table and stood himself up from it.
Fighting the uncertainty out of your voice, you said, “This is—”
He cut you off by putting himself between you and Ricky, holding his hand out for the man to shake in the process. “James,” he said as he nonchalantly slipped his free hand into yours. It wasn’t a gesture you’d been expecting, but you weren’t going to go against it either. There was something reassuring about the callouses of his palm against your skin as he threaded your fingers together. When he broke off the handshake with your ex, he gave a small tilt of his head and said, “Ricky, right?”
You knew that you weren’t doing a good job at all at hiding the pleased and surprised look on your face. The feeling only intensified when you saw the way it through Ricky completely off-kilter, whatever hand he had been planning on playing now no longer available to him.
He cleared his throat, and you noticed the way he adjusted, tightened his grip on the glass he was holding. He tried to recover from the temporary upset. “So, you’ve heard about me, then?” he asked, the look on his face letting you know that he considered it to be a good thing.
You were rolling your eyes and about to come back with something when James beat you to the punch. “Unfortunately, yeah.”
You tried to suppress the smile that wanted to take over your face but you weren’t sure if you did. You found yourself giving James’s hand a light squeeze, instinctively placing your other hand in the center of his back.
Ricky was trying to sputter out a response and James didn’t let him get a single coherent word out. “Like she said,” he gave you a small, gentle nudge towards the door, “we were just leaving.”
“I—”
James was already turning around and taking off towards the door. He called back over his shoulder, more nonchalant than your ex could ever hope to be, “Nice meeting you, Ricky.”
You were glad that the music and general chatter of the bar was hiding the sound of your laughter as the two of you made your way towards the door. Navigating the crowds was so much easier when you were attached to a man built the way that he was—funny how that seemed to work. The two of you were able to quickly maneuver your way to and out the door.
There was no better sound in the world to you than your boots hitting the concrete sidewalk outside the bar. The relief of being out of there was more than you were able to say in the moment, so instead you just kept laughing as you instinctively headed in the direction on the sidewalk that would eventually lead back to your apartment.
In that moment, there was no better sound in the world to James than the sound of you laughing. You were thanking him as the two of you walked away, and he was content to follow you under the guise of being committed to the little ruse you’d put together, to getting you far enough away from the bar to be considered out of the danger zone. He wondered if you, in the midst of your relief, even noticed that you were still holding onto his hand. He certainly still noticed.
You stopped suddenly and turned to look at him, eyes wide. “Oh, shit,” you gasped.
He looked over his shoulder, expecting your reaction to be because your ex had followed the two of you, or something similar. “What?”
You gestured back towards the bar. “Your drink! We didn’t pay—”
His laughter stopped you short. Shaking his head he said, “I was paid up.”
Your shock and tension both disappeared. “Oh. Okay.” It was then that you realized you were still holding his hand. You let go immediately, face warm as you let out a nervous laugh. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
The two of you stood on the sidewalk, a few inches separating you as you faced each other. “So,” you started, the awkwardness that had previously disappeared rearing its head again, “James your real name or just something you made up so my ex can’t stalk you on Facebook or something?”
He laughed and shook his head. “I don’t have Facebook. But yeah, it’s my real name. You,” he cracked a tiny grin, “you can call me Bucky, though.”
You smiled. “Bucky? That, you know, that what I should call you?” you joked.
He laughed, head tilting back slightly as did. He felt the way his face heated up at that and he just hoped that it was dark enough outside to hide the fact that he was probably blushing. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Reaching out, you gently placed your hand on the outside of his bicep for all of a moment, not that it stopped him from being able to feel the warmth of your palm through the blue fabric of his henley. “Well, thank you, Bucky. I appreciate it. Sorry if I totally ruined your night.”
“You didn’t,” he said with no hesitation. “Sorry that your ex ruined yours.”
You shrugged, feeling the way that your lips were slowly tugging up into a smile. “Could’ve been worse.”
“Do you have plans right now?” Bucky asked, unsure of where the question came from or how it got out past his lips.
You chuckled, shaking your head. “I was just planning on going home. Why? Have better plans in mind?”
It took him no time at all to realize that he’d walked himself into this with no idea where he was going with it. He knew that he had a decent poker face but even so he had a feeling you could read him like a book in that moment. And he definitely wasn’t reading like a mystery novel.
“I didn’t know if…you know…” he trailed off for a moment, “Wanna get…coffee? Or something?”
You chuckled and gave a small shrug. “Sure. Coffee sounds good.” You started to walk. “Or something.”
He quickly strode to catch up with you. “Got a place in mind?”
You laughed as you looked over at him. “Well, it didn’t seem like you did.”
It could’ve been a much more embarrassing call out if there hadn’t been such a warm look in your eyes. The only thing that he could think to do in the moment was follow you, so that was exactly what he did.
You couldn’t remember the last time that an invitation for a simple cup of coffee had suddenly caused an entire night to slip by. You didn’t even end up drinking all your coffee, too wrapped up in the conversation that you were having with Bucky. Funny that at the start of your evening you’d figured that a night alone was what you’d been needing, and yet sitting across from Bucky at a little café table, going wherever the conversation strayed to, left you feeling better than any number of nights by yourself at a bar or at home.
Bucky was fairly certain that he could talk to you all the way until the sun came back up again. He was also fairly certain that that fact had nothing to do with the caffeine from the coffee he’d had. His cup was empty, but he still found himself toying with it in his hands as the two of you talked. He didn’t know when the last time he got coffee with someone was. At least, someone who wasn’t Steve or Sam or Nat. This felt so foreign and new, yet there was something so familiar about you.
The pair of young twenty-somethings who were working at the coffee shop didn’t exactly tell you both to leave, didn’t exactly kick you out. But you both noticed the way that they were starting to wipe down the counter and tables and you knew better than to be the people who stayed right up until the last minute. Even though this time, you really wanted to. Getting a few more minutes with Bucky almost seemed worth it.
When the two of you were back out on the sidewalk once more, you turned to face him. The jitters you’d had when you left the bar hours before were gone, but there was a new feeling in its place. Similar but different. More excitement, more curiosity, more hope. You didn’t know what to do about it, though, didn’t know what to say to articulate those feelings.
“Well,” you finally said with a soft laugh, “now I really took up your whole night.”
The smile that Bucky gave you was charming enough to nearly have your knees knocking together. “Not the whole night.”
You hummed in amusement. “Then I’ll let you go before it turns into that.”
He tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “You’re alright getting home?”
You smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I’m only a couple blocks away.”
“I can walk you,” he offered.
You should’ve hesitated at least a little bit, but you didn’t. “That’d be nice.”
The two of you fell into stride beside each other. The first little stint was silent, but not uncomfortably so. You couldn’t speak for Bucky, but you knew that you were trying to figure out what was going to happen when you made it to the main door of your apartment building. You also knew, though, that no amount of overthinking it now was going to make it any easier to navigate then. So, you did what the two of you had been doing successfully for the last few hours, and picked a new topic out of thin air to talk about.
By the time you reached your building, you were walking so close to Bucky that your arm was practically pressed against his. He didn’t seem to mind—it wasn’t as though he was trying to pull away. Every now and then when you laughed, you’d give him a playful little bump, shoulder to shoulder, and Bucky had to fight the urge to drape his arm around you and pull you closer.
Stopping in front of one of the many tall brick buildings on the block, you nodded towards the door before opening your purse to find your keys. “This is me.”
Even though you’d hold him that you were only a couple of blocks away from the café, he still found himself surprised at how quickly you’d arrived. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed that the evening was over so soon. Never mind the fact that the evening had started hours ago, and completely on accident.
It took him a couple seconds longer than it should’ve to realize he was supposed to be saying something to you. “Oh,” he said, trying not to let his disappointment show, “okay.”
You were smiling as your eyes stayed trained on your purse, still fishing around for your keys. “Thank you for, well, all of it I guess,” you punctuated your sentence with a laugh.
He smiled warmly at you even though you weren’t looking at him yet. “No problem.”
“Ah,” you said as you finally found your keyring. You never thought your purse was all that large and yet you never seemed to find what you needed when you needed it. “Right. Well, I’d, um,” you stammered, wanting to ask and say about twenty different things and unable to decide on a single one of them. Taking a breath to get yourself together, you said, “I had a really good time, despite how all of this started,” you laughed for a moment and so did he, “and it’d be, I don’t know, I’d like to see you again…” you trailed off even though you didn’t mean to.
He smiled, relief and excitement battling it out in his chest. “I’d like that.”
Without giving it a second thought, he pulled out his phone and gave it to you, fumbling his way through asking you for your number. He would’ve been more self-conscious about his lack of grace with it if you hadn’t seemed so eager to type in your name and number.
You held his phone back out to him. “So, yeah, let me know when you’re free.”
He reached to take it back from you. There was the briefest moment of hesitation before you let his phone go, one that got him to look up from where your hands were nearly touching and into your eyes. You let go of his phone, and he slipped it back into the pocket of his jeans, but neither of you took your eyes off the other. Bucky couldn’t help but to notice the way that your teeth pulled just slightly at your bottom lip. He found himself opening his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He could’ve let it all die out there, or he could’ve let himself succumb to the nerves of not being able to conjure up something to say, but instead he found himself choosing a third option that he hadn’t even thought was available to him.
Stepping in and closing the tiny strip of space left between you, Bucky pressed his lips to yours. It was gentle, and brief. He pulled away when you’d barely gotten past the shock of him kissing you at all. You saw the way his eyes were searching yours, looking for the cue to either get lost or come back for more. The moment of silence terrified him, almost had him sputtering out an apology.
Then you closed the gap and kissed him again. A little more conviction, a palm resting against his chest. It was a minor miracle that you hadn’t dropped your keys to the ground as he kissed you back. His hand came up and cupped your cheek, palm warm against you despite the chilly night air.
When you pulled away, you couldn’t hide that it’d left you a little breathless. His hand was still cupping your face and it had you smiling wide enough to make your cheeks ache. Fidgeting with the keys in your hand, you forced yourself to speak. You purposely ignored how soft and breathy your voice was.
“You can come up if you want,” you offered.
You were just far enough away from him to see the surprise that crossed his features. “Yeah?”
You nodded, keenly aware of the way his hand felt on your face as you did. “Yeah.”
The slowness of the elevator in your apartment building was usually something that served to be a mild annoyance for you. However, this time, you wished that it would’ve taken longer to climb up to the fifth floor where your apartment was. Hell, you would’ve been fine if it had gotten stuck if it meant you had a few more moments with Bucky keeping you pressed against the wall, his lips capturing yours over and over again.
It was the singular chime that broke the two of you apart, the alert that you’d arrived at your floor. The walk from the elevator door to your apartment door was a short one but it felt tragically long when you had Bucky behind you with his hands on your hips and his lips on your neck. You had no idea how you managed to get your key into the lock so that the two of you could get inside, but you did it.
You closed and locked the door behind you once you were inside. Out of habit you reached and flicked the lights on. Bucky still had one hand on the small of your back, using the other to deftly undo the laces on his boots so he could toe them off beside your door where the rest of your shoes had been tossed haphazardly as the weeks had passed by.
You’d hardly dropped your purse and keys off when he was pressed up against you again, his chest flush against your back. You sucked in a tiny gasp as your body melted back into him. You wanted to say something but the second he was pulling the collar of your shirt to the side and pressing his lips to your shoulders, whatever pleasantries you’d been thinking of went completely out the window.
 Even though you knew your apartment like the back of your hand, had navigated through it in the dark and after nights out when you had more than a few drinks, you nearly found yourself stumbling as you walked through the lit-up room with Bucky attached to you.
Once the two of you were in your bedroom, Bucky put his hands on your hips and spun you around so that you were facing him. He wasted no time as he leaned in and kissed your lips, like the few minutes of being unable to had been hours instead. His hands trailed their way up to your face, palms warm and rough to the touch all at once. Keeping his lips on yours, he walked you back towards your bed. You were reaching for the bottom hem of his shirt just as the backs of your legs pressed against the side of your mattress.
Bucky indulged you, assisting you in peeling his shirt off over his head and tossing it aside. Any time that you would’ve spent standing there gawking at him was quickly stolen away as he pressed himself close to you again, firmly but gently getting you back onto the bed.
Every movement felt like it fed so easily into the next. The pair of you were nothing but wandering hands and ragged breaths as you stripped the clothes off each other. The floor was littered with them but neither of you cared. Bucky was down to his boxers, you your bra and panties. He had you pinned underneath him but it didn’t stop his hands from roaming everywhere they could. They wandered across your stomach, up and down your thighs, grazing over your chest. Every touch and graze had you pressing yourself into him more and more, teeth pulling at his bottom lip as you let out little whines and whimpers of encouragement.
You could feel the effect that it had on him. No amount of wanting to feel every inch of you underneath his fingertips could stop him from grinding his hips against yours. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had him feeling so desperate so quickly—he didn’t know if there ever had been a last time.
Like you could hear his thoughts, Bucky felt your fingers curling over the edge of the waistband of his boxers. You started pushing them down his hips and Bucky had no intention of stopping you. He quickly kicked them off the rest of the way before his fingertips dragged down your stomach until they slipped underneath the waistband of your panties. The lightest brush of his fingers had you bucking into his hand and whatever plans he’d had to drag this out no longer mattered. He easily pulled the flimsy fabric down your legs, making quick work of it as you lifted your legs to help.
It took every last shred of Bucky’s self-control to not just slip right into you. The way you had your legs wrapped around his waist would’ve made it so easy to do. He kissed you, neediness bleeding from his lips to yours as his hands continued to trace lines up and down your thighs.
 “Do you have—” Pulling away just enough so that your lips weren’t touching anymore, but not so much that you couldn’t feel his breath on your skin as he spoke. He managed to get out half the question he had before you cut him off.
“Top drawer,” you answered, already knowing where it was going.
The chuckle he let out got a smile out of you. The awkwardness and discomfort that occasionally accompanied first-time hookups was nowhere to be found. He pressed a brisk kiss to your lips before leaning and reaching over for the handle of the top drawer of your nightstand. You took advantage of the momentary position of vulnerability that he was in, lifting your head to kiss and then suck a mark where his neck met his shoulder. You heard the groan he let out, but more than that you could feel it as you kept your lips pressed there.
Him quickly tearing the foil of the condom with his teeth shouldn’t have been as hot as it was, and yet you found yourself staring. He caught it, too, and the smirk on his face would’ve made your knees week if you’d been standing rather than on your back beneath him.
You watched him roll the condom on, biting down so hard on your lip you were surprised that you didn’t draw blood. Your eyes slowly traveled their way back up his torso until you were looking into his. The eagerness, the tension in his body could be felt in all the places the two of you were connected. Even so, he still waited for one more yes from you.
The yes he was waiting for came in the form of you putting your hand on the back of his neck and pulling him down into a kiss, in the way you wrapped your legs a little tighter around him and pulled him in closer to you. You felt the way that he instantly gave in, slowly pushing into you as you moaned into his mouth at the sensation. You felt the way that he smiled into your kiss as your nails bit down into the flesh of his neck and shoulder.
“Fuck,” he rasped out, lips brushing against yours as he spoke. He took a moment to revel in it, the feeling of being buried into you so that his hips were flush against yours.
Moving your hand from the back of his neck so that it was cupping his chin, you pulled him back into another kiss. You felt each little hum and moan that he let out as he started to thrust into you, his arms on either side of your head caging you in. He kept himself pressed tightly to you, leaving your hands to wander the broad, muscular expanse of his back. The way you moaned his name, the moments when you’d rake your nails down his back, let him know that he was pushing you closer and closer to the edge.
He peeled himself off you, separating his chest from yours. You longed for the contact as soon as it was gone, but before you could think too much on it, he moved one of your legs so that it was draped over his shoulder. When he picked up his rhythm once more, you were grabbing onto his hips before you even knew what you were doing, begging him not to stop like he’d ever even dream of that in the first place.
Your leg was starting to tremble against his shoulder. Instinctively he turned and pressed a kiss to the side of your calf as he continued to thrust into you. Your grip on him tightened as you breathlessly moaned, “Just like that.”
A few more thrusts just like that and you were coming undone around him. He soaked in every moment of it, the feeling of you, the way you cried out his name, the way your body arched and tensed before going pliant.
He was chasing right after you, after that same high. He was nearly there and the soft, needy way you whined out, “Bucky,” in the waves of aftershock sent him clean over the edge. His hips stuttered as he came, your name tumbling from his lips. He collapsed against you, face buried in the crook of your neck as your legs went back to looping around his waist, keeping him pulled tight and still inside you.
You weren’t sure if it was your own heartbeat that you were feeling thudding in your chest or his, but you supposed it didn’t matter. Both of you were fighting to catch your breath, bodies practically melting into each other’s. You wrapped your arms around him, hands gentle on his back where just minutes before you’d been digging your nails into the cords of muscle there. He kissed the column of your throat, the little bit of stubble that was growing in feeling extra ticklish in your sensitive state, enough to get you to giggle and twitch at the sensation.
Once he’d gotten a little bit of his breath back, he propped himself up enough to look at you properly. “You okay?”
You laughed, unable to do anything else but that and nod for a moment. Finally, you said, “I’m great, yeah.” It got a chuckle out of him as you reached and trailed your fingertips down his cheek. “You okay?”
He nodded before leaning in and kissing you. “I’m great.” A few more moments passed in comfortable silence, the two of you just taking in the sight and state of each other. You noticed the small shifts in his expression, and you waited for whatever was coming next. “Um,” he looked over towards the door of your bedroom, “where’s your…so I can…”
You laughed, head dropping back against your pillow. “Out the door and to the left.”
He chuckled, a blush creeping over his cheeks. “Thanks. I’ll be, you know, right back.”
You afforded him the illusion of privacy as he searched and grabbed his boxers off the floor and scampered off to your bathroom. You chuckled as you managed to get yourself out of bed, making your way over to your dresser on wobbly legs to you could grab your own shirt to sleep in. You were back in bed and under the covers by the time Bucky came back.
When he got back to your bedside, he reached down and grabbed his shirt off the floor. He didn’t make an immediate move to put it on, instead just holding it loosely in his hand. “I can—”
“Stay,” you didn’t even want him to put the idea of leaving out into the universe. Not after the night the two of you had just had. “I mean,” you laughed softly, “if you want. I’d like that.”
There was no hesitation as he dropped his shirt to the ground. “Okay.”
He easily shimmied down underneath the covers beside you. You curled into him, allowing his arm to slip beneath you and pull you tighter so that your head was resting on his chest. You could feel the warmth of his skin, the thrumming of his heartbeat. You also started to feel not just the tiredness in your muscles from everything that had just happened, but also the exhaustion of how late it was now.
The same tiredness was present in Bucky’s voice as he spoke, words partially mumbled as he spoke them into your hair. “Light’s still on out there.”
“Leave it,” you replied words equally mumbled as you said them with your lips partially pressed against his chest. “I’ll worry about it tomorrow.”
The hum of amusement that he made let you know that he wasn’t going to worry about it now either. Draping his other arm around you, he slipped his hand underneath your shirt so that his hand was splayed across the center of your back and keeping you tight to him. Nestling farther into him, you rested your palm on his chest as you finally let yourself start drifting off to sleep.
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(divider by @saradika-graphics 💞)
MCU Taglist: @garbinge @beardburnsupersoldiers @artemiseamoon @late-to-the-party-81 (If you want to be added to any of my taglists please let me know! xo)
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ffsg0jo · 2 days
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𝖆𝖋𝖋𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓[𝖑𝖊𝖘𝖘] - 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 1
no way. there's absolutely no way you're tutoring sukuna. never in a million years, not if there was a gun to your head, not if.... gojo's willing pay?? maybe you can make arrangements, after all you're always happy to help >_<
college au - various x fem! reader
warnings: swearing, sukuna, ooc characters, mentions of pregnancy (NOT the reader)
w/c: 2500 words+ (somewhat proofread)
a/n: this chapter took so so long and i apologise for that :(( thank you to @storiesoflilies for beta reading and for the encouragement!! and thank you to everyone who left a lovely comment too. they honestly give me so much motivation and energy to write more <33
series masterlist :: general masterlist
join the taglist here to be tagged in future chapters <33
previous chapter :: next chapter
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it was a beautiful and blessed day. somehow, the stars aligned, and you and shoko managed to wrap up your lectures early and go for lunch together. heaven knows you needed a break, and its light truly was shining down on you.
shoko, being a med student, had a packed timetable, and you rarely saw each other. you missed your best friend and spending your free time tutoring was taking a toll on you.
with your lunches comfortably settled into your stomachs, you both turned to your favourite pastime. gossiping.
“you know that one third year?”
“which one shoko? there’s literally hundreds?”
“the rude one, shit i’ve forgotten her name,” shoko rubs her forehead with one hand, a cigarette in the other. she puffs out smoke, manoeuvring her lips so it avoids hitting your face. “with the long brown hair? spilt her drink on you on purpose?”
“ohh you mean yorozu?” you say, finally realising who she was talking about.
you remembered that day like it was yesterday. you were sitting in the library tutoring geto when all of a sudden gojo comes waltzing in looking for him, his entourage hot on his tail.
apparently, yorozu didn’t like geto’s attention being on you (even though you were there for strictly business purposes), and ‘accidentally’ dropped her drink in your lap.
that might’ve been the only time gojo had been somewhat nice to you, grabbing a bunch of tissues from his pocket and offering you his jacket to cover up the stain.
still, it didn’t make up for the other 99 times he was a prick. and it only made yorozu hate you more.
you pause, taking a sip from your mug. “i don’t want to be mean, but she’s such a bitch.”
“she literally made fun of professors toji’s daughter who’s terminally ill, there’s a special place in hell for her,” shoko paused and took a long drag of her cigarette before continuing. “anyways apparently she’s pregnant with that one third year with the facial tattoos.”
your mouth falls open in shock, and the mug nearly falls out of your grasp.
“choso?!? choso got her pregnant?!!? there’s no way, choso would never, he’s so sweet! and if he did he’d tell me!”
“not choso you dumbass. sukuna.”
“oh,” you deadpan. “him.”
sukuna, whilst you’ve had the pleasure of never really interacting, was one of gojo’s little friends. you really didn’t want to judge people on appearances, but sukuna lived up to his expectations.
for the most part, he’d ignore you when gojo relentlessly bothered you. but sometimes you’d catch him giving you the dirtiest and most scathing looks. as if you personally replaced the feathers in his pillow with dog shit. how he and yuuji, the absolute sweetheart of a first year you tutored, were brothers was beyond you.
snorting at the look on your face, shoko brings her cigarette up to her mouth once more.
“wait sukuna?” you said somewhat confused. “i thought she was with geto?”
“they weren’t together. she was fucking both and was trying to sleep with gojo too.”
“how on earth do you know all of this?”
“gojo has a big mouth, and we have lab together.”
you hum in acknowledgement, remembering shoko complaining at the beginning of last semester, about how much of an annoyance he was.
“what about nanami?” you asked, trying to act nonchalant and disinterested. he was part of their friend group, and he could be considered attractive by a lot of people (definitely not your own words), so it was only natural to ask, you rationalise. shoko gives you a pointed look, slightly raising her eyebrow.
“she hasn’t slept with him if that’s what you’re worried about, she thinks he’s ‘too boring’.”
‘too boring my ass’ you mutter to yourself. nanami was one of the best listeners and conversationalists, you know, if not the best. and he was funny! sure, maybe his humour wasn’t for everyone, but his dry and witty remarks had you snorting ten out of ten times.
a part of you almost sighed in relief that nanami hadn’t fallen into her trap. she was beautiful and looked like a model. and whilst you were confident in your looks, you were certain you didn’t stand a chance next to her.
a sudden ping pulls you out of your thoughts. sheepishly apologising to shoko, you turn to put your phone on silent. she waves her hand at your apology and takes one last drag of her cigarette before stamping it out on the ashtray.
you quickly check the notification, eyebrows furring at the unknown number. shoko sees the look on your face and asks if everything’s okay. instead of responding, you show her the message.
‘hey it’s sukuna. need a tutor u free?’
speaking of the devil, you wonder how he got your number and why he thought to message you of all people. probably through yuuji, but he would’ve asked if you were okay with it first. you just got rid of a student, and you wanted some time to yourself. also, sukuna of all people wanted a tutor?!? he barely shows up to lectures and seminars there’s no way he’s serious about studying.
“just ignore him,” shoko said, seeing the turmoil on your face. for once, you decided to agree with her and took her advice. she’s right, you’re not obliged to tutor anyone, especially not someone like sukuna. you were trying to distance yourself from that group to avoid trouble anyway.
sighing you lock your phone, ignoring his message and turning back to shoko.
before long you’ve completely forgotten about his message, caught up in shoko’s wild escapades.
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it had almost been a week since sukuna first messaged you, and you still hadn’t responded. truthfully, sukuna had forgotten about it after a day or two. but then his academic advisor scheduled a meeting for him to discuss his future at the university, and he panicked, suddenly remembering his message.
‘too nice and too scared’ to refuse him his ass. nothing but pure waffle comes out of gojo’s mouth, he doesn’t know why they’re still friends if he’s being honest.
“why the sour face?”
sukuna turns to the girl lying beside him and resists rolling his eyes. he was hoping she’d have left by now, but here she was, on his bed. her hand on his chest was slowly moving further down.
“none ya business, don’t ya have anywhere to be?” he bites back.
the girl’s eyes narrow as she stares at sukuna coldly. retracting her hand, she moves off the bed and picks her clothes up off the floor, taking her time in putting her tights on.
“scan’s next week, baby should be the size of a plum, you coming?”
“’s not mine, go ask the twelve other guys you’ve slept with.”
yorozu falters, her dress still bunched up around her midsection. she turns away from him, rushing to roll her dress down and moves to the door. a part of sukuna feels bad, he really shouldn’t be nasty, but he was adamant the child wasn’t his. even at her insistence on her being on birth control, he never once went without a condom.
once she hurried out of his room, he let out a massive sigh. god, where did it all go wrong? here he was, about to flunk out of uni, potentially be stuck paying child support for the rest of his life, and loveless.
at least his brat brother was doing well. yuuji and sukuna were like night and day, but he thanked every god out there for the way yuuji turned out. sure, he was a little stupid at times, but his brother always gave it his all and had the purest heart. the effort he put into raising yuuji really paid off.
“morning kuna,” yuuji chirped as sukuna walked into the kitchen of their shared apartment. of course, he was already up and making breakfast for the two. “i’d ask if you slept well, but i saw that girl running out of your room.”
sukuna only grunted, scratching his bare stomach in response. yuuji continues scrambling the eggs as sukuna grabs two plates from the cupboards and places them next to the stove.
“dunno why you’re still with her kuna. i support all women, don’t get me wrong, but she’s horrible! the things she’s said about gumi’s sister, i’m embarrassed to know her by association!”
“s’nothing to do with me, quit yappin.”
yuuji side eyes his older brother with a look of disgust on his face. why sukuna insists on sleeping with her is beyond him. he knows for a fact sukuna has zero feelings for the girl and is just using her.
yuuji tuts and shakes his head, plating up the eggs and moving to the dining table where they both tuck in.
“thanks for breakfast brat,” sukuna says, mouth full of food,
“no problem big bro,” yuuji beams.
the youngest itadori glances at his watch and jumps up suddenly, realising the time and leaving his breakfast half uneaten. he runs into his room and comes back out 3 seconds later with a bunch of textbooks and papers.
“(name)’s coming over for our study session, she should be here now.”
you tutored yuuji? since when? just as sukuna’s about to ask his little brother someone knocks on the door of their apartment.
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you were feeling good today. with a lecture in the afternoon, you thought you’d fit in one of your students for an early study session, and who better than yuuji. he worked better in the mornings, and he was a pleasure to teach, so you were actually quite looking forward to it.
you knock on yuuji’s door and anxiously wait for him to open the door. you hear the lock turn, and the door creaks open; your face falls upon seeing who’s on the other side. the universe must hate you.
you’ve never once ran into sukuna whilst tutoring yuuji, thanking your lucky stars every day. but the one time you wanted to avoid him at all costs he’s there in all his glory.
there sukuna’s stood, topless and in his boxers, his bulky torso managing to take up the whole doorframe.
eyes naturally falling to his chest, you notice the tattoos across his body. the rings around his biceps and wrists, the delicious markings across the expanse of his torso, they complement the ones on his face so well, and you can appreciate good art when you see it.
wait, delicious? you snap out of your thoughts and meet sukuna’s gaze, who’s smirking down at you, having noticed your oogling. your face instantly morphs into a scowl.
“take a picture it’ll last longer”
“is yuuji home?” you say, choosing to ignore his words for your own sanity.
“aww you embarrassed about being caught staring?”
“it’s too early for this, if yuuji’s not home i can come back another day.” stepping back, you turn to walk away, but yuuji’s out-of-breath shriek stops you.
“kuna stop bothering her! ‘m here (name), was in a rush getting everything ready, just come in.”
you brush past sukuna, your elbow grazing his warm, bare skin. willing yourself to not think about it, you follow yuuji into the living room, where everything’s set up.
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surprisingly, sukuna leaves you both alone whilst you’re tutoring yuuji, choosing to take his breakfast into his room after forcing yuuji to finish his first. sukuna was many things, but a bad brother was not one of them you realised.
a part of your heart softened seeing him take care of yuuji, glad he had that support system in his life. but the other part of you got the heebie jeebies.
still, the last thing you wanted was sukuna to confront you about his message, knowing you had ignored it. as yuuji’s session was drawing to a close, you started forming an escape plan. if you ran fast enough, you could avoid ever bumping into sukuna on the off chance he decided to confront you. and if you just grabbed your shoes and put them on outside the apartment complex you’d be even quicker!
with your plan ready and all thought out, as soon as yuuji finished his last question, you packed up, said your goodbyes, and bolted towards the door. it was like you had developed tunnel vision, blurring everything out except the door. you were so close, and so far, there was no sign of sukuna. you could do this! you could pull this off!
“leavin without saying goodbye?”
you stopped in your tracks, recognising the irritating voice coming from behind you. maybe if you just ignored him he’d go away?
you couldn’t though, you raised yourself with good enough manners, so begrudgingly, you turn around to face sukuna.
sukuna had a massive smirk on his face. he saw the way you almost ran towards the door, evidently trying to avoid bumping into him. it was actually quite comical, to be honest.
he did feel a little bad for you. you didn’t have the best experiences with him and his friends, so it was somewhat understandable. but gojo would not stop talking about how you were smart and a great tutor, and he really needed someone’s help.
sukuna would never admit it, but the textbook and the hundreds of research papers were completely inaccessible to him. he couldn’t understand the results sections to even decipher whether the results were shown to be significant or not. and why do people accept the null hypothesis? what even is the null hypothesis? and what is that funky little r he sees everywhere?
anyway, the bottom line is he really needed the help. sukuna sighed and realised he needed to come at this from a different angle.
“listen ‘m sorry about ambushing you, but i really need a tutor.”
the apology and defeat in his voice struck you off guard. maybe you were wrong about sukuna. maybe he just had a really angry resting face all those times he stared at you like you murdered his family.
“can’t you ask anyone else,” you replied
“not many people can get through yuuji’s thick skull, so you must be one helluva tutor. and gojo'll pay for your time.”
you raised your eyebrows at that, not believing satoru gojo would be willing to pay you for tutoring someone else. regardless if he truly was, you weren't going to say no to money. especially since he was known throughout the university for his trust fund.
your shoulders dropped, and you looked up at the ceiling, trying to think of what to do. he was being uncharacteristically nice about it, and you can never say no to people when they’re polite. plus the money would be good.
“fine,” you acquiesced. “i’ll do it.”
“wait seriously?”
“yes, but i can only do wednesday afternoons.”
“perfect-“
“but not this wednesday, we’ll start next week.”
“got it, next wednesday.”
sukuna was half expecting you to say no, but he’d take it. he gruffly thanked you, saying he’d message you about further details later and left you to put your shoes on in peace.
slipping them on, you mourned your no longer free wednesdays. you’d worry about lesson plans and everything later, but for now, you needed some strong coffee to get you through the rest of the day.
what had you gotten yourself into?
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© ffsg0jo 2024 — do not plagiarise, repost, modify, or translate any of my work, in any way shape or form; i will piss in your cereal if you do. all work belongs to me and me only.
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hazelsmirrorball · 2 days
Text
Lacy | Oscar Piastri x Logan Sargent x Fem! Reader
summary: oscar piastri has everything logan sargent could ever wish for but he would trade everything just for y/n to seem him the way he sees her
faceclaim: olivia rodrigo
pairings: oscar piastri x gf!singer!reader, logansargent x friend!singer!reader
a/n: can’t even tell you what is this, but it’s something different that’s for sure. Excuse any errors english isn’t my main language
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Logan Sargents eyes wandered all over Oscar Piastri’s apartment. His heart beats to the rhythm of the clock near him. He could feel sweat dripping from his forehead as he waited for Oscar to enter the living room. For a guy that almost exploded his phone with messages for them to hang out; he’s taking a lot of time to pay him attention.
At first he didn’t want to come, but part of him felt guilty if he denied his best friend’s invitation. He couldn’t say he was busy because the McLaren driver could read right through him. He nervously played with his hands trying to think of something, anything but the thought of Oscar’s longterm girlfriend. He felt bad, he couldn’t lie to himself and deny what was going through his head.
But as Logan’s eyes continuously scanned his around his apartment trying to distract himself it was as he saw the ghost of her leaning towards him. Every bit and piece had, y/n’s touch, everything traced back to her.
Her sweet perfume lingered on the couch cushions. While an empty can of her favorite drink sat on the table in front of him. As he kept looking his eyes rested on the small table next to him, the red cherry lipstick that covered her beautiful lips stared back at him as he felt his stomach turn. Pieces of her used handmade bows that had little strands of her hair. Logan let a deep sigh imagining all the times Y/n would come in the paddock with her sweet cherry lips and her beautiful hair flowing in the wind.
Logan’s hand slowly reached for the table in front of him, trying to snap himself out of the trance he was being suck into. How can a thing so sweet ruin all his morals, all his beliefs. He felt guilty, guilty for wanting the one thing that made Oscar Piastri happy.
But why couldn’t he have her? Oscar wasn’t a bad person towards Logan, well at least not directly. Oscar Piastri had everything Logan Sargent ever wanted. A perfect F1 career, a perfect team, a perfect life and the perfect girl. Oscar was smart, attractive and funny, everything opposite from Logan. At least in his eyes. Why couldn’t Logan have this one thing? What did Oscar have that Logan didn’t? He swore he had potential, he just needed time for people to see it. Oscar had the only thing Logan Sargent really wanted, Y/n.
“Sorry, mate! I was busy helping Y/n hang a painting in her room. But my attention is one hundred percent on you now” Oscar said sitting down next to Logan. He slowly scanned Oscar body noticing the familiar lipstick stain adorned on his lips.
As much as Logan wanted to avoid the facts. He found himself stumbling upon the couple everywhere he would go. Photos of them in the paddock, group hangouts, hell even fans would tagged him in their couple pictures. It drove him insane, he tried to rationalize, to call himself. But every single thing Oscar did was poison for Logan, he couldn’t take it anymore. It was like Oscar deep down knew about Logan’s feelings towards her and was out to get him. He wanted to make him suffer, there wasn’t any other reason. Oscar was to get Logan, that was a constant thought in his head. Maybe he was jealous or maybe he idolized Oscar in a way no one else could.
“Oh, it’s no problem really. Mentioning Y/n I don’t know if you remember the text I sent you a few weeks ago” Logan said placing his notebook in the table in front of Oscar and him. Oscar looked at the notebook and nodded
“Yeah! I showed y/n the thing you wrote and she was over the moon! she enjoyed it a lot, she was in a complete writers block so that helped her a lot with writing that new ep she wanted to do. So thank you so much logan, i owe you one big time” Oscar said slightly punching logan shoulder as he forced a smile letting out a chuckle with him.
“that’s what friends are for. But she decided to make the poem into a song? i didn’t think it was that good” Logan responded raising an eyebrow towards Oscar. He simply shook his head and turned towards him.
“I don’t know where or how you wrote that poem. But i trust y/n’s opinion, that song is going to be a hit!” Oscar responded in attempt to shake Logan insecurities. He quietly nodded, feeling a real smile starting to creep up.
“what’s the name of the song?” Logan managed to slip out
“Lacy”
Oh, Logan Sargent Loathed the dazzling starlet that was Oscar Piastri and even though he didn’t have y/n. he would do anything to have Y/n bows around his wrist and her lipstains on places only the two of them would know, even if he had to play the long run.
y/nnnn via instagram!
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liked by logansargent, oscarpiastri and 2,368,902 others
y/nnnn so excited for my new single that’s coming out real soon!!! thank you so much to one of my favorite drivers @logansargent that gave me the main inspo to write this song, love you so so much and i wish you guys love this so as much as i do x.
view all comments
landonorris for a moment i forgot you were a singer, i thought you were just oscar’s annoying gf
-> y/nnnn shut up
user101 mother is back!!!!
user23 thank you logan for being y/n’s inspiration
user1893 team logan!!!!!!
user78 team oscar!!!
oscarpiastri so talented! i love you so so much
logansargent you are wonderful y/n!! i’m always proud of you and ur music
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hqbaby · 3 days
Text
sixteen — what happened
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mess it up — gojo x reader & sukuna x reader
⁀➴ when i told you i’m fine, you were lied to. when the love of your life falls for someone else, you decide to move on—by pretending to date your best friend, the campus fuckboy.
previous — masterlist — next
word count. 2.1k content. profanity, mentions of alcohol consumption, break up scene
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Satoru swears that he must’ve missed the signs. He was always so good at reading you, at figuring out your next move, at trying to piece together what the next step was for the two of you. He was always alert, always aware. So he doesn’t know how he missed the signs, how he couldn’t see what must’ve been happening right before his eyes.
He remembers waking up the morning after one of Yuji’s infamous ragers, the ones that always sent people stumbling home at six in the morning, passing out in the classes that they were unlucky to have the next day. He remembers touching the space in his bed where you were supposed to be, eyes closed but certain that his fingers would eventually brush against the skin of your shoulder, the warmth of your neck.
He remembers opening his eyes then when all he was met with was the cold sheets of his bed. You had left your imprint on his mattress, but you were nowhere to be found.
He got out of bed, barely awake, but already intent on one goal: Finding you.
You couldn’t have wandered too far, but you weren’t in the bathroom down the hall—the one he shared with Yuta and Suguru—and you weren’t on the landing before the second floor, the one with a bay window that you often spent your time looking through with a cup of coffee in your hands.
Satoru nearly fell as he stumbled down the stairs, bare feet loud against the wooden steps. Where could you have gone? Where would he find you?
Eventually, he found his way to the dining room, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw you sitting at the table, eyes low as you nursed a glass of water in your hands.
He remembers how you looked at him then. Not with your usual bright smile. Not even your lazily hungover grin. You looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights, like you were somehow guilty of something he didn’t exactly know.
“Hey, princess,” he greeted, walking over to plant a kiss on your forehead. When his lips touched your skin, he noticed the way you flinched. It was small, a slight movement that could’ve been passed off as you simply moving against his touch. But he knew it was something else. He didn’t know how, but he could tell.
He pulled back, worry painted across his features. “You okay?”
You weren’t even looking at him, you had your eyes glued to the glass in your hands. You hummed, a strained sound, like you were trying to make it sound normal and you were failing horribly. “I’m good, ‘Toru,” you told him. “All good.”
He opened his mouth to ask you if you were sure. If you meant what you were saying. But he knew better than to question you.
You slipped out of your chair and started puttering about the kitchen, putting away bowls on the drying rack, placing slices of bread in the toaster, making a batch of fresh coffee. You were just trying to help out, you told him when he asked you why you were doing all that. Satoru couldn’t bring himself to press, to ask what was wrong, to ask why you were acting so strange.
When you left the house, you only gave him a peck on the cheek before you were rushing out the door. It was as if you couldn’t get out of there fast enough. You couldn’t stand to be around him any longer.
“She leave?” Naoya asked, stepping out of his bedroom. He yawned, stretching his arms behind his back as he did.
Satoru nodded, a frown on his lips. “Yeah,” he said. “She was… weird.”
His housemate chuckled. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” Satoru said, because he truly had no clue what that was all about. “It was like she was avoiding me the whole time.”
“Ah, well, she’s a girl,” Naoya told him. “Girls are weird sometimes.”
Satoru couldn’t seem to argue with him. As much as he wanted to, the whole interaction with you had rendered him depleted, unable to think about anything other than the fact that you had been so distant. So cold.
Naoya patted him on the back on his way to the kitchen. “She’ll come around,” he said. “You gonna eat this toast?”
Your boyfriend shook his head. “You can have it,” he murmured. “I’ll be in my room.”
“Okay, big guy,” his housemate said. As Satoru started up the stairs, Naoya called after him, peering up at him when he stopped in his tracks. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Maybe she just needs some space.”
Satoru nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Maybe.”
The next few days didn’t prove to be any better. Satoru tried continuing the little routines the two of you had built in your time together. Picking you up from training. Meeting with after your classes. Having dinner on nights when the two of you were free.
Everything seemed normal on the surface. A happy girlfriend with her devoted boyfriend. You played the roles well, but that was all it felt like—roles that the two of you were fulfilling for no other rhyme or reason aside from the fact that you were supposed to be a couple.
The change had happened seemingly overnight. Before that morning in the kitchen, Satoru hadn’t noticed a change in your behavior. The two of you were fine. Perfect even.
At Yuji’s party just the night before, you had been your regular sparkling self. You filled the room with endless conversation, mindless drunken chatter. At some point, you had even looked up from a conversation with Suguru to smile at your boyfriend when you realized that he was looking at you.
Satoru realized that was the last time you smiled at him that way.
It had been building up when it finally happened. When you decided to put the final nail in the coffin.
“I don’t think this is working,” you told him that afternoon on the steps of the science building. “I think we should break up.”
Even then, Satoru found himself caught completely off-guard. He had seen this coming and yet that didn’t seem to be enough. Because he didn’t know why it had come in the first place, he had no clue.
“But why?” he asked. He tried to reach for your hand, but you were already stepping back, already pulling away. You wouldn’t even look him in the eye. “You can’t just do this to us.”
You gnawed at your lower lip, playing with the hem of your shirt as you continued to avoid his gaze. “It’s not working,” you told him again, like it was the only thing you knew to say. “You’ve felt it too, haven’t you?”
“Tell me why.”
“Satoru, I don’t want to hurt you.”
The sound he let out was the most desperate one he’d ever made in his life. It was somewhere between a wail and a gasp, somewhere between pain and shock. “You’re already hurting me,” he told you. “At least have the decency to tell me why.”
“Because,” you said uselessly. You finally found it in yourself to look up at him, to meet his eyes, all wet now with tears. “‘Toru, please don’t cry.”
“Then don’t break up with me,” he insisted. “Princess, baby, please.”
But you were resolved. He could tell from the way you looked at him, your eyes full of tears, but also full of certainty. This wasn’t something he could argue his way out of. He could never argue with you. It was a winless fight.
What you said before you left would haunt him for the time thereafter. It would leave him with so many questions. So much confusion. So many sleepless nights, just trying to figure out what you meant. What possessed you to say such a thing.
“Maybe the next one will be the one for you,” you told him, offering him a smile that he was certain that he would remember for the rest of his life. Your lips quivered as you gave him one last look, one last pitiful goodbye, before you left, completely slipping out of his life.
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She doesn’t know how to bring this up. It isn’t the kind of thing you can just casually mention in a conversation. Not the kind of thing you can just ask someone about without having to face the repercussions.
She’s spent the past few minutes trying to figure out what the right plan of action is. She gives up. Propriety be damned, she thinks as she marches over to the bed.
“Satoru, what is this?” Kimi asks, letting the thing fall from her hands and onto the duvet beside the spot where Satoru sits.
He put his towel down, caught in the middle of drying his hair. He raises his brow at her before looking down at the thing she’s just dropped. His eyes grow wide. Fuck.
“I, uh, that’s just—fuck—I don’t—why were you going through my things?”
Kimi frowns, crossing her arms over her chest. “I wasn’t going through your things,” she tells him. “I asked to borrow a shirt, remember? It was in your drawer.”
Satoru stares at the box on his bed. Small, just enough to fit in the palm of his hand, covered in the tell-tale velvet that these kinds of boxes come in. He doesn’t need to open it to know what’s inside. He already knows. It can only be one thing.
He offers his girlfriend a sheepish grin. “Right,” he says. “I did tell you to look in there.”
She looks at him expectantly. “So? Can you tell me what that is?”
Satoru picks the box up, holds it in his hand with a tenderness it doesn’t deserve. “Don’t make me say it.”
Kimi sighs and sits down on the bed beside him. She watches as he turns the box over, studying each of its edges, the groves at the spot where the box opens. She may not love Satoru, but she’s been around him enough to care about him. To not want him to hurt as badly as he does.
“Was that for her?” she asks.
He hums, unable to say the words out loud.
Kimi pulls her legs up on the bed and holds her knees to her chest, swaying side to side and allowing her shoulder to gently bump against his. “I know you don’t wanna talk about it,” she says. “But I think I deserve to know a few things. With me being your girlfriend and all.”
Satoru turns to look at her, smiling softly as he presses a kiss to her temple. “Yeah, I know,” he says. “What do you wanna know?”
“What happened to the two of you?”
“Damn, coming at me with the big guns, huh?”
She lets out a little laugh. “It’s really the only question I have.”
Satoru purses his lips and shrugs. “I don’t know,” he tells her. “I really don’t know.”
“Did you ask her?”
“I tried. When she ended things.”
Kimi stops swaying and reaches over to place a hand on Satoru’s thigh. “I’m sorry.”
His hand moves to cup hers. “Thanks.”
“What was she like before she broke up with you though?”
“What do you mean?”
“I dunno,” Kimi says, pulling her hand away and placing it on her lap. “It’s just that relationships don’t usually go from perfect to dead without something happening. Did you get in a fight?”
Satoru shakes his head. “No, not a fight,” he says. “But I did notice she was acting weird before that. I don’t know.” He looks at Kimi like a sad puppy, pouting. “You’re a girl, you probably have more insight than me. What do you think happened?”
“Well, I don’t know her that well,” Kimi says. “Or you for that matter. But…”
“But?”
“When someone breaks up with you out of nowhere, there was probably a trigger,” she tells him. “Maybe she did something. Or maybe you did. Or maybe something happened in her life that had something to do with your relationship. Or maybe someone said something to her, got in her head, you know. Could be a bunch of things, but it was probably something.”
It’s not a lot, but hearing her say it just confirms what Satoru’s been thinking this whole time. Something must have happened for you to change so drastically, for you to want out of the relationship just like that.
He looks at the box in his hand. Inside is the ring that he—admittedly stupidly—picked out way before either of you were actually ready to get married. He had a lot of hope in the two of you, and he knows that for the longest time, you did too.
He doesn’t know what happened. He doesn’t know if he ever will.
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notes. needed to give my boy gojo some screen time 😌 we’re also getting closer and closer to what caused the break up and it’s getting more and more confusing 🫣
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suuooe · 2 days
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piercing | suo hayato x gn!reader
✧ "Did it hurt when you pierced your ears?" "Want to find out?"
✧ content: esrablished relationship, fluff, biting (there's one bite.)
✧ a/n: another suo drabble cause I can't get him out of my mind please help me. the overall layout of the drabble might be a bit too much, can't really edit it right now as I'm on vacation, but if it's too blocky I'll fix it once I'm back (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠`⁠)⁠。⁠*゚⁠+
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He mentioned that they were antiques...
You're stricken with the same trivia Nirei had provided you of Suo's earrings whenever your fingers twirl against the numerous golden tassels hanging off the red orb. Careful to not use too much force when you manage to wrap one tassel around your finger in case it were to harm Suo.
The aforementioned man, you notice - is a very pliant lover. Maybe you've picked up on his habit of people watching and observing, but the longer you've been together, the more you notice the small habits he does around you.
Becoming incredibly pliant to your every move and gesture involving him was the biggest habit he's donned. Bending down slightly when he sees your hand reach further up than normal towards him, immediately intertwining your hands when he feels the slightest brush and a recent one you noticed.
"Did it hurt when you pierced your ears, Hayato?" you questioned, your lover opening his visible eye to glance towards you, head still angled while you kept toying with his earring.
He always tilted his head slightly to the side to give you more room to play with his earring, sitting completely still to let you do such for as long as you please.
Suo only straightened his head back up when he felt your fingers leave his ears, instead turning his body slightly to come closer to you. Not that you weren't close from before already, having the habit of sitting directly next to him with a hand between his legs to get as comfortably close as possible.
"Hmm, I got them pierced when I was relatively young so I don't remember. Why, you plan on getting your own pierced?" he mutters, raising his own hand up to tuck your hair behind your ear to look at your un-pierced lobes.
"It would be a bit of shame though to pierce your ears..." he whispers briefly to himself, absentmindedly brushing his thumb against your lobe, pressing slightly at the unscarred skin.
"Mm..!?"
Suo's eyes widen slightly at the surprised noise you make, whilst you yourself hurriedly grab onto the same ear he had just pressed - instinctively pulling yourself a bit further away from your boyfriend. Your lover however is quick with his hands, already having a secure hand behind your back to prevent you from jumping away further.
You don't like how his slightly widened eyes were also mixed with a hint of mirth. "It just tickled a bit, that's all." you hurriedly say in defense, Suo only humming in response which makes your already reddened cheeks deepen further.
"I'm pretty sure though.." he starts, effortlessly lifting you up from the floor to make you straddle his lap, his hands resting on your lower back whilst your hands grab his shoulders to stabilize yourself, "That whether or not it hurts, depends entirely on the person." he finishes, looking slightly up at you with a mischevious smile now that you're more elevated than him.
"Want to find out?" he asks in a whisper, and before you can process what he truly asked, you feel the slight tickle of his hair strands brush against your cheek, immediately followed by a slight exhale against your ear. But before you can ask what he's planning-
Chomp
"Hmn?!" you let out another surprised sound, nails digging into his silk shirt in surprise as you jump up. But Suo keeps a firm grip on you, settling you down back on his lap as you feel the tip of his tongue prod against your lobe before he blows against the area he had just bit. "H-Hayato?" you exclaim in surprise, trying to push yourself away to make eye contact.
You feel his whole body shake in restrained laughter before he finally eases his hold on your waist, leaning back a bit to instead cradle your cheek and give your lips a brief kiss. Separating just far enough to talk, but still close enough for his lips to occasionally make contact with yours if he were to speak. "So? Did it hurt?"
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suguann · 10 hours
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✎. he tells you they’re the problem and leaves it at that before sliding a plate of eggs and toast in front of you.
tags. fem!reader, mild dubcon, possessive and obsessive behavior, but he's also kinda sweet?? [18+ only]
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You like your new roommate.
Simon’s surprisingly better to have around than the last person who lived with you—a girl you knew from college who had an affinity for stealing your clothes and conveniently never had money for rent. He’s the type to make you soup when you’re sick, acknowledge you if you’re in the same room, water your flowers while he rolls his cigarettes on the fire escape, and carry your groceries up the four flights of stairs to your floor. 
He’s attractive, too, in the not-so-conventional sense, but in a disarming way, all small smiles and knowing looks and soft hair you know he doesn’t put much effort into—that sometimes curls around his ears when he lets it get too long—yet it still manages to look better than yours on the best days. 
He never tells you what he does for work, and you’re too polite to ask. But you have a feeling he makes enough to afford a place on the less crime-infested side of town—somewhere nicer than your cramped apartment with its outdated appliances, leaky faucets, and the bright neon sign atop the building across the street that shines through your windows all times of the day—but he says he’s not ready to live alone.
Something tells you there’s more to it than him being a lonely bachelor, but again, you don’t pry.
“Does this place have wi-fi?” is all he’d said the first time you meet, in a voice so smooth and only slightly broken up by his accent, clad in a shirt that looked two sizes too small around his arms and clutching a duffle bag in one big hand. 
Your brain was this shaken-up box of words and syllables that when you answered him, it came out in a nervous stutter. “Y-yeah, I’ll, er…I’ll give it to you—the password, I mean—once you've moved in. If that’s okay.”
He’d dropped his duffle bag in front of the room that would be his. “Consider me moved in.”
The smile he gave you, crinkling eyes and chuckling lightly, only made the stutter worse. 
You let his charm roll off you; you always figured it came naturally to him, a characteristic that comes with being attractive and good.
A handful of months later—of finding a routine around each other and lazy smiles in the morning—something changes the night you go out with a guy Mary from work eagerly sets you up with. 
His name’s Robb, he’s a doctor, and you both love cats; he has a house in Spain. Did I mention he's my cousin?
(A dull no way concealed behind your teeth.
If you hadn’t said yes, you feared your entire lunch break would consist of her waxing poetic over a man you're unsure about meeting.)
For a flicker of a moment, there’s an unreadable expression on Simon’s face as he watches you touch up your makeup in the hallway mirror and slip your hand into the crook of your date’s elbow at the door. There’s a slight glint of something uncharacteristically cold behind the mask of indifference before a small smile replaces it.
“Have a nice night,” you throw over your shoulder, except you don’t notice that he never says it back.
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You mope around the apartment when Robb—who surprisingly exceeded your expectations of mediocre dates, not that you ever plan on admitting that to Mary—doesn’t reach out to you for three days. Then a week. You’re at that age to understand when people get busy, and a nice night doesn’t always mean it’s mutually reciprocated. But you liked him, and it felt promising after he’d kissed you goodnight against your front door. 
It had to have been the kiss that turned him off. Maybe he realized it was too much too soon.
When Simon finds you curled up in a ball under your comforter, one thumb gently wiping away your tears, he doesn’t even bring up your date. Instead, he orders your favorite take-out and puts on a sitcom you’d mentioned to him once—somewhat surprised that he remembers—the dreamy doctor who’d ghosted you blissfully forgotten with greasy food and a warm, comforting chest to rest your head on.
Simon’s there again—sweets in hand and a soft voice to soothe you—when another date (Rin from finance on your floor) a month later is a no-show, and a few weeks after that when Rin tells you without context that he can’t see you anymore. 
The third time of let downs feels worse. It’s worse because maybe there’s something wrong with you, and when you ask Simon, he’s too nice to rub salt in your wounds. He tells you they’re the problem and leaves it at that before sliding a plate of eggs and toast in front of you.
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You've been Simon's roommate for a year, and he doesn't take it well when you tell him you're looking for a new place.
It’s after he comes home from a three-month work trip. The shadow that crosses over his face should’ve been your first hint that something is wrong.
Had you noticed the signs sooner, you wonder if you’d be less like prey caught by the softness of your underbelly, kept in place by the scruff, and sharp teeth at your neck.
"Beg me. Beg me not to cum in you."
"S-Simon," you whimper wetly, "don't cum in—ah—me."
His fingers hold your chin with an unyielding grip, ensuring your gaze doesn’t stray from his in the cracked mirror. You’re embarrassed by what you see, how spread open you are to his dark, inkwell eyes hungrily watching as you twitch when his other hand slides between your thighs.
"Don’t stop begging, love,” he growls, squeezing you tighter, “or I might forget."
There’s that dark look again, the one that sends a shivery feeling up your spine, possessive almost with how he traces every inch of you as if burning the image of you into his memory, the softness washed away by something more sinister. 
A little voice in the back of your head tells you to flee, but another knows he'd find joy in catching you. 
No one would ever think your sweet, attractive roommate would be the same man staring at you now—everything you thought you knew about him stripped away to reveal a new canvas, bare for splashes of paint to fill in the cracks—teeth marks imprinted along the curve of your jaw, on the inside of your thighs.
He hides it well. His humble personality doing the trick of being the impenetrable mask for what he’s concealing underneath: a raw obsession, an addict finally getting his hands on his favorite drug, someone who can’t recognize defeat and knows how to take.
“What do they have that I don’t? Hm? Must be a desperate little thing. My pretty slut,” Simon’s voice rumbles low against your ear, shy of unhinged. “They won’t treat you as good as I do. Don’t I treat you good?”
You whimper when his grip grows tighter, but he doesn’t seem to notice—like he’s not fully here with you. No trace of the soft, gentle man who keeps the freezer full of your favorite ice cream, who runs to the store when you run out of tampons and comes back with chocolate and a new pair of fuzzy socks. A few words have turned him into someone you don’t know. Perhaps you never did.
“Answer me.”
An indiscernible  squeak is the only sound you make. 
He chuckles darkly, his head dipping down to rest his lips against the fluttering pulse in your neck, a finger slipping through the alarming amount of wetness between your thighs where his cock rends you down the middle, and begins rubbing firm, tight circles over your clit, pulling a moan from your throat. 
“It’s okay, love,” he mumbles, words barely audible above your heartbeat swimming in your ears. “I’ll be everything for you. Everything you need. I’ll show you why I’m better.”
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With her sweetened breath and her tongue so mean - poly!marauders x slytherin!reader
Summary: Preparing for the dreaded OWLs proves to be a difficult task for one tightly-wound Slytherin. How do Remus, James, and Sirius each offer assistance, and how does she handle it?
Notes: No Voldemort, but pureblood elitism is still very much a thing. Story starts at the end of the Marauders and Reader’s fifth year. I don’t know the most about all the Marauders Era headcanons so I kind of did what I wanted, sorry if you don’t like it. 
Tags: Angst, fluff, traumatized Slytherins, pureblood elitism, slightly mean!reader
Words: ~7.8k
p.1
I huffed as I reached for another heavy book on the shelf from one of the dark back corners of the library. I wasn’t in the restricted section just yet, but getting close to it. Between the weight of the other five books stacked in my arm and the height of the shelf I was trying to reach I nearly dropped them all. 
“Careful, there, Princess. Might break something lugging around all those books,” someone said next to me. I nearly jumped as I hadn’t noticed anyone come down this same aisle. 
I shot a glare at him for startling me. It was none other than Remus Lupin, one of those pesky Gryffindors who was constantly fighting me for my space at the top of the class. My glare intensified when I realized who it was.
“Yes, and it would sure be a shame if I managed to drop these on your foot and break something there,” I snarked. 
He looked amused at me. “Whoa, Princess, no need to get feisty with me. I was just going to offer my assistance.”
“And what kind of assistance should I accept from you when you’re just as likely to try and trick me?” Lupin gave me a weary look. Typical of Gryffindors to think everyone is as blindly trusting as them.
“No tricks, Princess, just offering a bit of help,” he said with a shrug.
“Would you stop that? Stop calling me that,” I snapped at him before turning back to the book I needed. Before I could make a second attempt to reach for it, Remus stepped up next to me and I froze. But then he grabbed the book for me and set it on top of my stack then took a step back. 
“Not a fan of your nickname?” He was of course referring to me being known as Slytherin’s Princess. Sometimes I like to pretend the nickname came about because I’m always top of the class, making my house proud, but I know the real reason is because I come from a wealthy, pureblood, Slytherin family and everyone thought me rather spoiled. 
“I am not some simpering girl in need of a man to save her and it’ll do good for the people in this school to remember that.” Despite his significant height, I lifted my chin to Remus Lupin and dared him to say otherwise. 
“Of course, of course,” he agrees, nodding his head and holding up his hands. “But you are Slytherin’s Princess, aren’t you?” His eyes light up in amusement at my frustration. 
My nostrils flare as I hold back my anger. It doesn’t do me any good to blow up at some stupid Gryffindor, not when that is exactly what he wants and I am not in the business of giving Gryffindors what they want.
Instead, I turn to walk away. Take the high-ground as they say. 
“Wait, wait, I’m sorry!” Remus calls after me, quickly catching up to and following me. “Seriously, dove, I’m sorry. I was only joking. Please, let me help you with whatever on earth you could possibly need all these books for.”
I stop abruptly and turn toward him. “And why should I accept help from someone like you?” I nearly growl at him, barely holding back my frustrations.
Remus looks taken aback by my words. “Someone like me? You mean a half-blood?”
It’s my turn to be startled by him. “I mean a Gryffindor,” I bite out. This was exactly why I couldn’t stand this brutish group, they were always so quick to jump to outrageous assumptions, thinking the worst of someone like me just because I’m in Slytherin.
He looks relieved and confused at the same time, but I don’t really care to help him unpack his complex emotions about the exact reasoning behind why I don’t trust him. 
I dump my books down onto the table I had claimed earlier and began to scour the table of contents in the first one. Uninvited, Remus took the chair next to me and began looking over my shoulder at the book. 
“Can I help you, Lupin? Or are you just interested in being a nuisance?” 
“I’m glad to be a nuisance any day, but as I’ve said before I was actually hoping to help you.”
“And as I’ve said before I’m not looking for any help.” 
“But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Is that this close to our OWLs you’re scouring books for something that you think you’ve missed, but you’ve been at the top of our classes all year, so I highly doubt you’ve managed to miss anything of real importance.” I give him a confused look, trying to discern how he’s figured me out so easily. Except he’s wrong, of course, I did somehow manage to lose the year a specific herb was realized to have certain medicinal properties. “So now I’m trying to answer the question of what does little miss Slytherin Princess think that she desperately needs to know, and will that really be the determining factor in her score on her OWLs?”
I glance around to make sure no one else is listening to me admitting defeat in front of a Gryffindor. “I don’t have the year we began to use hyssop to treat earaches,” I murmur. 
Remus’s face seems to fall at my admission. “That’s what you’re so concerned about? A minor herb’s medicinal use? Not even that, you already know that, but what year that was discovered? That is such a niche detail, there is absolutely no way Sprout asks us that.”
I roll my eyes. “Obviously Sprout’s not going to ask us about that, it’s Binns that I’m worried about,” I explain. Although I really shouldn’t be giving my enemy any help in preparing for our upcoming tests. I was just as desperate to best him on these tests as I’m sure he was me. 
“Binns?” He asks, outraged. “Binns would never ask about that in a million years.”
“You don’t know that, no one knows that. We had a lecture on the history of medicinal herbs, hyssop was one of them.”
“And so you really think that from that one lecture he’s going to ask us when hyssop was discovered to help with earaches?”
“I was reviewing my notes and I had written down the year but it got smudged.”
“You’re actually a raving lunatic,” Remus tells me. He looks around the library like he might get up and leave, but then he turns back to me. “I realize these are the most important tests of the year, but I think you have way overestimated the difficulty of the questions that will be on them.”
“And I think you can never be too safe.”
We hold each other’s gaze for several moments. Remus finally blinks and then sighs. “Confound it all, fine. Hand me one.” He holds his hand out expectantly. 
I stare at him, confused. 
“Well? Are we going to look for this blasted year or not?” I blink out of my stupor and hand him one of the books I had grabbed. 
We sit in silence for a long while, pouring over the texts. The only sound in this part of the library is us turning pages. The first book I look through doesn’t contain my answer, and neither must the book Remus has. Although I am tempted to go back later and double check he didn’t find it and not tell me in an effort to trick me. 
After I get through two more books and Remus goes through three, I can’t stop myself from asking the question that had been nagging in the back of my head the entire time. 
“Why exactly are you helping me? Surely you’d much rather be focused on your own studying.”
Remus slowly pulls his attention away from the book in front of him. He blinks at me and then furrows his brows. “Sorry, I know you said something, I just didn’t quite catch what,” he admits. 
I can’t help the small laugh at his honesty. “Why are you helping me? I thought you’d want to be studying for your OWLs.”
“I am studying for my OWLs,” he replies, tauntingly. I roll my eyes at him. 
“Come on, you know what I meant,” I push. 
He shrugs and I think that’s going to be all the answer I get, then after a pause he says, “you’ve intrigued me. I’m curious now to find out when we started using hyssop for earaches.” There’s something about his tone that’s off, but I mark it down to him just teasing me. “Besides, I’m already plenty prepared to get a perfect score and take my spot at the top of the class.”
I laugh at his taunting. “Clearly not prepared enough if you’re not well versed in the history of hyssop,” I tease back. 
He gives me a winning smile and something in my chest stutters at it. I must just be unsettled by his obviously false flattery. 
“Can I ask you something in return?” He asks after a moment. 
I consider him, then reply, “I don’t promise to answer, but you’re welcome to ask.” 
He smiles again and this time it feels like my heart has been squeezed just a bit. “Well I suppose that’s fair. But are you always so…” he trails off and I get nervous at where he’s going with this. “Well, are you always so intense about knowing every little detail?” He finally finishes. 
It must be relief that floods my veins when he doesn’t ask anything backhanded or rude. I actually give him a smile before glancing down at my lap. 
“I have to be, don’t I? There’s one way to stay where I am and it’s by rigorous study,” I admit. 
“Is it really so important to stay at the top that you have to obsess like this, though?” 
I think back to what happened when I would slack off with my studies at home before coming to Hogwarts. I can’t help the way my face falls at the memories. 
“I suppose it might not be so important to a Gryffindor, but success is a high priority in Slytherin,” I finally respond. It seems when I don’t know how to react I lash out, although Remus is lucky to have caught me in a good mood as I let him off rather easily. 
Nonetheless he still looks a bit dejected by my response. I feel a bit bad for shutting him down when we had been starting to get along rather well. 
“We should probably focus on the matter at hand, though, if we ever want to find our answer before curfew,” I say, returning to the book in front of me. 
“Right…” Remus murmurs. Part of me expects him to leave at that point, after all that’s when everyone else does. He surprises me when he stays and doubles down his efforts. 
I open my mouth, to say what I’m not entirely sure. I close my mouth again when I realize that I want to apologize. There’s no way that Remus wants some half baked apology from me. 
Time passes in silence, the both of us occupied with our search, but my mind keeps wandering to the way I had snapped at Remus. I didn’t understand why he had sat down to help me, but I shouldn’t have antagonized him for asking a simple question. It wasn’t his fault that the answer wasn’t so simple. 
I can’t help stealing glances of him every few minutes, which significantly hinders my speed in reading my book, but Remus doesn't seem to notice and I can’t get myself to stop. This means that I notice almost immediately when Remus freezes suddenly. I try not to react, not wanting to have been caught looking.
“Holy shit!” He nearly shouts, someone nearby shushes him loudly, but he’s too busy jumping out of his seat to mind. “Oh, Merlin’s beard I actually found it!” He whispers loudly this time and pumps his fist. Standing at his height above me while I sit next to him I have to strain my neck to look up at his face, but it’s such a beautiful sight with how excited he is.
“You mean you actually found the year?” I ask, matching his excitement.
He nods enthusiastically at me then points to the line of text that contains the answer we’d spent hours searching for. “Yes, yes, look! It’s right there.”
We celebrate as quietly as we can and I quickly jot down the information into my notes. 
“Oh, thank you, Remus! You’ve just saved me probably three hours.” I stand to join him. It’s then that I finally check the time and realize just how close it is to curfew. “Ah, shit,” I murmur. “We should turn in for the night. I don’t fancy having a run-in with Filch tonight.”
“Let me walk you to your dorm?” Remus offers.
“What? It’s nearly curfew, you’ll risk getting in trouble with Filch. No, I’m perfectly capable of seeing myself to my dorms for the night,” I reply firmly. 
“Don’t worry about me, dove, I can handle myself. Let me walk you to your dorm.” This time Remus sounds more like he’s telling me than asking me. Nevertheless I nod in agreement and we make our way to the Slytherin common room in the dungeons. 
On the way down, Remus teases me lightly about how obsessed I must be to dedicate so much effort into finding such a small detail. I tease him back about him being a nerd for helping me look for the answer. It’s lighthearted and easy and part of me thinks I could get used to having Remus as a friend. Another part of me questions what it would look like for me to be friends with a Gryffindor and whether my parents would approve or not. Then the first part kicks the second part for being such a self-obsessed ass. 
Just outside the entrance to the Slytherin common room I wave goodbye to Remus and wish him a good night. I try not to blush when he calls me “dove,” and dart into the safety of the common room. 
The next few weeks Remus seems to make it a habit of running into me in the library when I would otherwise be alone. In the past I had tried studying with Narcissa or Andromeda but the pair of them had bad habits of wanting to chat while I wanted to actually study, so my time in the library had previously been spent alone. 
Remus was different, though. He understood my desire to focus on the material in front of me and not whether or not his hair was looking frizzier than normal. 
Before I knew it I had come to rather enjoy his company. It felt almost reassuring that there was someone else who was similarly interested in studying, but wanted to do it with me. Somehow it was like studying at the same table as him made studying that much better, even if nothing of substance had changed. 
On a Saturday morning, a couple weeks before we were to begin taking our OWLs, I went out to the Black Lake just before the sun rose. I had slept fitfully, getting more and more nervous for the tests ahead of me. There was so much pressure to do good on these, I didn’t know what I would do if I were anything less than perfect. 
I don’t know why exactly I came out here, I just knew that I needed fresh air. Without much else of a plan, I sat down at the trunk of a tree and pulled out my wand. I practiced a couple small charms and transfigurations on the branches and rocks around me. 
“I’d say that rock doesn’t stand a chance against you, but I’d like to know what it did to deserve such treatment in the first place.”
I dropped the spell I had been using to propel the rock in the air and it fell swiftly. There likely wasn’t anyone in the school who I would not have been shocked to see, but I was especially shocked it was none other than James Potter. He’s a fairly popular boy my age in Gryffindor, mostly known for his outspokenness and disruptive behavior. If my memory serves me right, which it always does, he’s actually friends with Remus Lupin.
“What are you doing out here so early?” I can’t help but ask.
“I could ask the same of you,” he points out. I finally take him in at that moment. He’s wearing loose shorts and an old Gryffindor quidditch t-shirt that he’s cut the bottom half off to show off his athletic build. His curly hair is a mess atop his head, but I get the notion it’s always like that. When I meet his eyes I’m struck by how blue they are that I can notice even with him standing several feet in front of me. I can’t help but think to myself how pretty he is. He gives me a dorky smile, as if used to the attention but still not sure how to respond.
“Couldn’t sleep so well. Thought some fresh air would do me some good,” I finally answer, not acknowledging how I’d just been looking at him.
“Some fresh air and tormenting rocks?” He teases.
“Is that all you think we Slytherins do? Torment everything?” I huff. 
His face twists at my response. “No, no that’s not what I meant at all. It was just a joke, most people laugh at them.”
I sigh and lean back against the trunk of the tree. “I’m sorry, I’m just a bit on edge,” I admit, though I’m not sure why I feel the urge to open up to this next to perfect stranger.
James takes a few steps closer and I tense up, but he just takes a seat next to me under the tree. “What’s got you so on edge?” 
“Is that another one of your jokes? The OWLs obviously.”
“Oh, right. I suppose those are coming up soon.” He pauses and tears some grass in front of him. “What’re you stressed over those for?” 
My brows pinch together and I stare at him like he’s grown a second head. “They’re only the most important tests of the entire school year, of our entire schooling career thus far! These will determine our entire futures.”
It’s James’s turn to look at me like I’m crazy. “They’re just another test, though. And I really don’t see how they’ll determine our entire futures,” he says plainly. 
I scoff and roll my eyes. Leave it to a Gryffindor to blow off something so important. 
“Look, I know you’ve got this whole thing about being perfect in every subject and staying ahead of everyone else, so I’ll make you a deal.” I turn to him, my interest piqued. “If you do any less than perfect on each of your OWLs, I’ll turn all the professor’s hair purple,” he offers.
My jaw drops at his suggestion. “What on earth would that accomplish?”
“Well I figure people won’t be talking about what grade you got on your OWLs if they’re too busy talking about Dumbledore with a lilac beard,” he’s laughing even as he says it. I laugh, too, at that image. 
“Make it bright pink and I’ll help you,” I reply through giggles. 
James gives me his award-winning dorky smile and I can’t tear my eyes away. 
“Seriously, though, I’ll bet you’ve already gotten perfect scores on every other test this year, there can’t be anyone else more prepared than you.”
“Thank you,” I mumble, not used to outright compliments that weren’t also an insult. My gaze falls to where James is still fiddling with the grass. “A bit antsy, are you?”
“Sorry,” he sighs, “I’ve been trying to work on that. I actually came out here to go for a run, it helps me burn some of my extra energy before the day so I can focus a bit better.”
I can’t imagine wanting to start the day by burning through energy, I often woke up with barely enough to make it through the day. 
“Oh, I’m sorry to be keeping you. I can go back inside if you want to run by yourself,” I offer and even before I finish talking, I’m pushing to stand up. 
“No, no you’re fine!” He’s quick to reassure me. “Please, stay. Actually if you want you could join me, it might help you clear your mind.”
I consider for a moment before deciding to agree. There couldn’t be much harm in it, it was still at least another hour before most people would get up for the day and I didn’t have anything better to do. 
While we run I can’t help glancing over to James, who’s clearly in his own world.
The sun began to peak over the horizon, slowly illuminating our path. At one point the sun is behind James when I steal another glance at him, and the way the light catches on his features makes him look like a real life angel.
James proves to be right, the run did help me to clear my mind. When we stop back where we had started I’m feeling significantly lighter than before, even if I am breathing significantly heavier. 
“That was… fun,” I am slow to admit. “Thank you, Potter.”
“Anytime, darling.” He gives me another goofy smile. “Feel free to join me whenever you like, I come out at the same time everyday.”
“I just might take you up on that.”
I don’t know what makes me do it, but I take James Potter up on his offer every day for a week straight. I quickly come to enjoy the ritual of it, waking up before dawn, sneaking out of my dorm, getting the fresh air and clearing my mind before the day. 
James’s presence was a reassuring one, even if we didn’t always talk much. I had the sense that he would listen to anything I needed to say and offer encouragement. 
As our OWLs loom ever closer I come to rely on our runs to center me in the mornings more and more, but I also question how long James will continue to let me join him. He never says anything to indicate he doesn’t want me to join, though, so I take him at face value and keep meeting him under our tree every morning. 
The night before we’re to start our OWLs I find myself unable to sleep for even a minute. Of course this wasn’t a problem for my dorm mates who had fallen asleep at least two hours ago. 
I toss and turn, thinking that maybe if I could just get comfortable I could get to sleep. Of course I have no such luck. Eventually I decide that drastic times call for drastic measures. 
I don’t have to worry about being too quiet as I climb out of my bed, pull on a jumper, and slip on my sneakers. I’ve mastered this routine from sneaking out for my morning runs. 
Two years prior Narcissa was sniffling and sneezing her brains out, but didn’t want to wake Madam Pomfrey for medicine. Andromeda insisted we could take care of her ourselves, she just needed a good, hot cup of tea to clear her system. I never knew where she learned it, but she showed me a way to slip into the kitchens undetected. She then showed me which cabinet to find the herbs in, and also which herbs were the right ones. And then she showed me how to use the kettle. 
It was amazing how much better Narcissa was able to sleep after she finished her cup of tea, and the next day she was right as rain. I quickly became obsessed with the simple magic behind a “good cup of tea” and asked Andromeda to tell me everything she knew about the different recipes and ingredients. When her knowledge proved to be rather limited I went on a rampage in the library until I was satisfied─ a good two weeks later. 
My plan was a simple blend to help me sleep and settle my nerves. Chamomile and cinnamon was sounding particularly tasty, although I was considering whether I might like lavender with rosemary more. Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice at first there was already someone else in the kitchens. Thankfully when I did I only jumped a little. 
Confused, I stared at Sirius Black as he took a kettle off one of the stoves. He gave me an amused look in return. 
“Couldn’t sleep either?” He guessed.
“No, I’m quite afraid not.”
He gave me a sad smile in understanding. “Have a seat, I’ll make you a cup,” he offered. I can’t say why I listened, but I did. Maybe in a moment of weakness before a highly stressful event I didn’t care that I didn’t know him much, I just wanted to let someone take care of me. 
“Any preference on what kind?” He asks.
“Hmm, I was debating between chamomile with cinnamon or lavender with rosemary,” I say. Then, because I can’t help myself, I proceed to list off my many thoughts on the benefits of each ingredient and what might best suit my current situation. 
Lost in my thoughts, I don’t notice that Sirius has made a decision for me and already started steeping the herbs in the water. I’ve somehow veered off onto what might make a good combination if Sirius was having a headache, or if his headache was caused by a cold and he had other symptoms what could help with that. 
To his credit, he never once interrupts or even looks bored. In fact the entire time he seems to regard me with mild amusement, and I begin to get the impression that everything he encounters in life amuses him. 
I don’t even stop rambling about tea when he sets my cup in front of me. After taking a sip, I start to tell him how very fond I am of lemon balm, then pause when I finally realize the cup of tea is already made. 
For the first time since Sirius asked what kind of tea I wanted, he is finally given a chance to say something. “Are you sure you weren’t meant to be in Ravenclaw?”
I scoff at his suggestion. “Don’t be absurd, Slytherins can be just as studious as Ravenclaws, we just typically hold our cards a little closer to our chest.”
“Right.” He nods. “This was you holding your cards close to your chest?” He then questions.
“Well it’s not like there’s any great secret behind tea. And besides, even if I haven’t been able to sleep I am quite tired.” A yawn escapes me just then to prove my point. “Narcissa always complains about my tendency to ramble when I’m tired.”
“Why would she complain? I found it rather entertaining,” he says, lightheartedly. Even though his tone has a hint of joking to it, I feel like he’s being honest. 
I give him a small smile before taking another sip from my cup. It’s still quite hot, but the flavors are still strong. “Mmm, this is quite delicious,” I compliment. “Is it chamomile with… rosemary?” 
Sirius gives me a proud grin. “Ten points to Slytherin,” he jokes. A smile falls on my face. 
“What have you made for yourself?” I ask, glancing at his cup. 
“Vanilla and rose.” 
“That sounds lovely. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that before.”
“James’s mum makes it for us all the time. Do you want to try a sip?” He offers. I nod quickly and he passes over his cup. Sure enough it’s a delightful mixture. I tell him such and he tells me the measurements so that I can make it for myself. 
“So what’s keeping you up on this otherwise peaceful night?” Sirius asks.
“You’ve got to be kidding,” I groan. He looks at me dumbly, confused as to what the obvious answer might be. “We start our OWLs tomorrow,” I scoff. 
“Merlin, you can’t really be this stressed about it.” He sounds disbelieving, though I’m not sure why. 
“I can and I am,” I say, matter-of-factly. He rolls his eyes and turns to begin putting away the tea kettle. “Why are you up, if not because of the OWLs?” I then ask.
“Not for any good reason. Have always had trouble sleeping,” he says, but the tightness in his voice, and the way he tugs at a lock of hair behind his ear tells me there’s something else he doesn’t want to share. I can’t fault him for that, though. “Which of your OWLs do you feel most prepared for?” He asks after a moment of tense silence. 
It throws me off for just a second. Most people want to know which test I’m most nervous for, want to know what area I’m weakest in, where the chip in my armor is so that they might strike there. I consider for a moment, not wanting to say something that I end up bombing. Eventually, I decide on my favorite subject. Sirius seems to accept that answer without pushing any further, so I turn it on him. 
“Defense Against the Dark Arts,” he answers almost immediately. “I want to be an auror,” he brags. 
I roll my eyes at the proud smirk on his face. “Of course you do.”
“Well? What do you want to be?” Sirius asks as if expecting a lame answer such as archivist. 
“My parents want me to be an alchemist,” I reply in what I would guess is a lame answer.
“That’s great for them, what do you want to be, though?” Looking into his eyes at that moment feels as if he’s staring into my soul. 
“I… I don’t know,” I mumble slowly and my brows furrow. I can’t help but look at my cup of tea, half empty at this point. No one had ever asked me what I wanted before, not when it came to something so major. It was always assumed I would follow the path my parents laid for me. 
When I find the courage to look back up to Sirius he has a sympathetic look on his face. 
“Don’t look at me like that,” I snap.
In return, Sirius’s face pinches in anger. “I wasn’t looking at you any type of way,” he defends.
“Yes, you were, you had this look on your face like you were sad for me,” I accuse. “Don’t be sad for me.”
“I’m not sad for you─”
“Good, because you have no reason to be. My life is great and everything is perfectly fine.” The way I say it even Sirius can tell that I’m trying to convince myself more than him at this point. I let out a frustrated sigh. I want to say something about how I’m a great witch and I’m meant to be an alchemist, but another voice in my head whispers to explain how I really feel.
“Look,” I start, then trail off. 
“It’s complicated,” he finishes for me. “I get it. I’m sure you know about my family, you know I get it.” His voice is so soft as he talks to me, as if I’m a frightened animal. But despite my flaws I am still a Slytherin, and I do not appreciate being treated like a frightened animal. 
“Leave it to a Gryffindor to be so self-absorbed they assume everyone knows their tragic tale of woe. Maybe instead of staying up late to make tea and trying to relate to girls you hardly know you should work on your form for your smokescreen spell.” The words spill out of me before I even consider them. I don’t even take the time to be shocked at my outburst. Instead I storm off. 
“Yeah, you’re one to talk about self-absorbed, Princess!” He shouts at my back. I nearly flinch at the nickname, but keep going out of the kitchens and straight back up to my dorm.
─ 
The morning before the first day of our OWLs testing I follow my same routine. I wake up early to run with James, and he tries to ask if I’m feeling alright, but I brush him off and neither of us acknowledges the way I push myself harder on this run than I ever had before. 
After our run, I go back up to my dorm to shower and get ready for the day. My dorm mates still haven’t caught on yet that I’ve started getting up hours earlier. They do ask if I’m feeling flush and press their hands to my forehead, though. I shove them off with a grumbled, “I’m fine,” and shove my things for the day into my bag. 
In the Great Hall I can hardly stomach a plain slice of toast, but I just manage to get it down with some orange juice. I feel a bit queasy, but today is too important to pay that feeling any mind. 
On my way to the first test of the day, I think back to Remus’s reassuring words from our study session the night before. 
“Look, I know trying to reassure you that you’ll do great won’t get through to you, even if I have never been more sure of anything in my life,” Remus says softly, almost hesitantly. “Instead I hope you know that it will be okay if you aren’t perfect.” My heart hits my stomach and I drop my quill. I start to shut down, prepare to lash out. Why would he say that? He thinks I won’t be perfect? 
“Maybe other people will have different opinions, but I will still be your friend and I know that everything will turn out okay for you.”
Oh. My heart flutters back to life. We’re friends? 
For once in my life, I do not lash out at someone for trying to get closer to me, for saying something honest that I wasn’t ready to hear. 
I give him a sad smile. “Thanks, Remus.” I pause for a long moment. “I’m glad you’re my friend,” I whisper. Then, because I’m not sure how to proceed after that, I stiffly turn back to my notes. Remus, ever the gentleman, goes back to his book and doesn’t push me any further. 
I don’t think anyone had ever told me before that it was okay to be anything less than perfect, but his words become my mantra for the day. 
“It will be okay if I’m not perfect,” I think to myself as I walk into the classroom. 
I take a seat next to Narcissa. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
The professor instructs us to start. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
I read over every question three times. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
I double check each of my answers. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
I finish the last question. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
I walk up to the front of the class and turn in my test. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
As I leave the classroom I’ve almost convinced myself that it will be okay if I’m not perfect. 
My stomach begins to churn and I walk straight to the nearest bathroom, into one of the stalls, and promptly begin to lose my breakfast. I hear the door open behind me when I’ve stopped heaving. 
“Think you’ve found yourself in the wrong bathroom, Princess,” someone says mockingly. Footsteps come closer to me. “Oh shit, are you okay?”
I hadn’t bothered to lock the stall door behind me, so I’m able to turn and see Sirius Black. Again. I give him a horrified look. 
“What the bloody hell are you doing in the girls’ room?” I nearly shout at him.
“Actually you’re the one who’s walked into the boys’ room,” he informs me. I give him a disbelieving look until he shifts and my gaze falls on a line of urinals behind him. My face blushes profusely and I stare at Sirius, mortified. He gives me a pitying look. “It’s okay, pretty girl, you’re clearly not feeling well. Stay there for a moment.”
Still in shock, I stay put. I hear the sink running for a moment, then Sirius comes back with a damp towel. He hands it to me to wipe my face. 
“Thanks,” I murmur. 
“Don’t sweat it,” he replies. With a tender hand, he helps me to my feet when I’m ready. “Let’s get you to Madam Pomfrey, then.”
“Oh, no, that’s really not necessary. It must’ve just been something I had at breakfast,” I lie. 
Sirius gives me a disbelieving look. “You’ve clearly worried yourself sick and we both know it.”
I don’t reply as I follow him out of the bathroom. My plan was to start going in the direction of the hospital wing, then double back to the library to keep studying. Sirius’s plan was to follow me.
“I’m more than capable of walking myself to the hospital wing,” I say tersely. 
“And I’m more than capable of walking with you. I’m glad we’ve determined our abilities for this excursion.” 
I shoot him a glare that would scare off most other people. Sirius doesn’t even blink at me. My new plan: ignore Sirius as he insists on walking me to see Pomfrey. 
“How did you feel about it?” He asked after a moment. 
I don’t respond. 
“I personally thought some of the questions were a bit repetitive, like I had to explain myself multiple times.” 
I stay strong. 
“But maybe that’s a bad sign that I didn’t do as good as I thought.” 
Just keep staring straight ahead, he has to shut up eventually, I think to myself. 
“On the second question─”
“Would you just shut up already?” I snapped. I was stressed enough over how I did without reliving it with someone I didn’t even like. 
Sirius holds his hands up defensively. “Someone’s cranky,” he says with a laugh.
“I am not cranky, I just don’t particularly care to discuss the test with you.” My eyes roll of their own volition. 
“What should you care to discuss then?” He asks. 
“With you? Not much.” Maybe if I can discourage him enough he’ll grow bored and wander off. 
“It’s a bit of a trek to the hospital wing from here, though, and I’ve found conversation to be a great way to pass time.” Of course, I should know that Gryffindors are not so easily discouraged.
“I’ve found that there’s no reason for you to walk all the way to the hospital wing with me.” 
“Wow, are you like this all the time?” He finally snaps back.
“Like what?” I pretend to be ignorant. 
He scoffs at me. “Rude, Princess. Are you always so rude?”
I flare up at the nickname. The way he says it, it feels like he knows I don’t like it. 
“Nobody asked you to pester me,” I say. 
“Most people would consider this an act of kindness, not pestering.”
“How unfortunate for you that I am not like most people.” 
“It would do you a bit of good to learn something from them, maybe you could start with some manners.”
“I’m perfectly well mannered, thank you very much. You’re the one who didn’t listen when I told you I was fine to walk by myself, and you’re the one working yourself up by staying with me when you could bug off to literally anywhere else.” With that I begin to speed up to leave him behind.
Sirius actually stops for just a moment, as if really considering my words. Then he rushes to catch up to me. “No, I want to know what’s so bloody great about you,” he says. 
I give him a strange look. “I never claimed for anything to be so great about me.”
“Maybe not but you sure act like it, so tell me: what is so bloody great about you? What makes you so special that you think yourself better than everyone else here?”
It’s my turn to stop in my tracks. “Who the hell said I think I’m better than everyone?”
“No one has to say it, Princess.” The way he says Princess feels like venom on his tongue. 
I want to hit him. Punch him in the face and give him a great bloody nose. I want to hex him. Maybe knock him off his feet. I want to scream at him. Scream that I don’t think myself better than everyone, that I’m just an imposter pretending to be perfect all the time. 
It will be okay if I’m not perfect.
Tears start to well in my eyes. I haven’t cried since I was eleven and my family was getting ready to drop me off at Hogwarts for the first time. 
“Do not cry, darling, it’s unbecoming,” my mother says to me. “Soon you will be sorted into Slytherin and prepare to continue your family’s legacy. You must show strength at all times, even if you do not feel it. We can not be perceived as weak.”
A single tear snakes out of the corner of my eye and down the apple of my cheek. I look down and it falls to the ground by my feet. Another tear falls, and before I know it I am fully crying. I start to struggle to breathe. 
When I look back up to Sirius he looks terrified. He must think he’s what’s made me cry. The truth is it’s the last five years that have built up to weigh on me continually. It’s the way my life was gilded and no one had ever cared to look below the surface until a few weeks ago when Remus Lupin offered to help me study. Until James Potter offered to go for a run. Until Sirius Black offered me a cup of tea. 
My quiet tears begin to turn into choked sobbing as I realize how sad my life really was, that these three Gryffindors had shown me a kind of genuine caring that I hadn’t known could exist. 
Hesitantly, Sirius takes my hand to lead me over to a nearby bench so I can sit down and try to collect myself. It takes several minutes for me to control my breathing, and several more for my tears to subside. I finally look down to notice that I’m still holding Sirius’s hand, that I’d actually been holding it quite firmly. 
“Oh, Merlin, I’m so sorry,” I say, my voice hoarse, as I release his hand from my grasp. “You were right. Everything is so very complicated.”
Sirius gives me that same look he did last night, and I realize. He wasn’t sad for me, he understood me. But how was it fair that he would get to leave, when his brother and I were left behind with our authoritarian families? Selfishly, I think maybe he could show me the way.
I sit there, lost in my thoughts, for a long while. Sirius stays with me. Eventually the bells toll to indicate it was time for lunch. When I glance up at Sirius, he’s already looking at me. 
“Can I make you an offer?” He asks. 
I grow weary at his words. “I would suppose that depends on what the offer is.”
“Well, your eyes are red and swollen and you’ve got mascara tracked down your cheeks,” he starts and I grow horrified as I realize what I must look like. There was no way I could go into the Great Hall looking like the mess I surely am. He lets out a small laugh at my expression. “Why don’t you go clean up, and I’ll grab us some lunch from the Great Hall. We can meet in the south courtyard.”
I was amazed that even after I’d been so mean to him, he would still be so kind to me. 
“That would be quite nice actually. Thank you,” I reply softly. 
Sirius gives me a swift nod, then helps me to stand up. We go our separate ways, me to my dorm to wash my face and apply some fresh mascara and concealer, and Sirius to the Great Hall. 
I’ve just sat down in a corner of the courtyard for a couple minutes when Sirius shows up. I try not to look too shocked when James and Remus appear with him. Of course, I knew they were all friends, they went galavanting around the entire school proclaiming themselves marauders, but I’d never interacted with all three of them together. 
It suddenly occurs to me that they likely share a dorm, and very well could have planned this all to be some grand prank on me. But they had all seemed so genuinely kind to me until this point, and I was so tired of constantly second guessing everyone’s intentions. I decided that if this were some prank I would let them have their fun at me, then show them the real wrath of Slytherin. 
The three of them quickly set up a small picnic and begin lighthearted conversation. James compliments the way my hair looks today. Sirius teases James for the way his hair looks everyday, although I would argue it flatters him I don’t say that aloud. Remus gives me a knowing look as the two begin bickering. 
Spending time with the three of them is easy, and feels right. Like it was always meant to be the four of us all together. None of them mentions my earlier breakdown, or even anything to do with our tests. I wonder what Sirius told them before they all came out here. Whatever it was, none of them shows me any judgment so I can guess he must have skipped over my rude behavior. 
I’m sad when the bells ring again to signify the end of lunch. We clean up our area of the courtyard, then head back inside. Over the course of my time with the boys I feel my spirits lifted significantly, feeling much better and ready to face the next two weeks of tests. 
It will be okay if I’m not perfect, I think to myself again, and this time I really do believe it. Because even if I’m only just getting to know Remus, James, and Sirius, I know that they are my friends and they’ll be there for me.
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