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netherfeildren · 1 year

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FEAR OF GOD : Chapter IX : What should we believe in next?

Series Masterlist ; Moodboard

Pairing: Joel Miller x OFC

Summary: There is no point to which you cannot return — the moment lives on forever.

Rating: Explicit 18+

Content Warnings: Fluff (fucking finally, am I right?); smut; pregnancy kink

A/N: Art is Femme Au Tigre (detail), François Martin-Kavel

Word Count: 8.2K

Read on AO3

Chapter IX: What should we believe in next?

To love someone

is firstly to confess: I’m prepared to be devastated by you.

-Billy-Ray Belcourt, A History of My Brief Body

In many ways, you felt like the forest had swallowed you down its dark maw, and spit you back out a different person altogether – a rebirth of sorts. You’d awoken to a different set of priorities to which, you now knew, you had to dedicate yourself to like nothing you’d ever done before.

There could be no recalcitrance, no doubt, no fear. You realized it was, as ever, always choices, choices, choices that determined the value of your character, the weight of your potential. It had seemed for so long that you’d found yourself unmoored – waiting for something, Joel or your own certainty, your own desires to come to fruition. But you’d not realized, until this very moment, until death had been so close, until you’d almost lost yourself in that overwhelming wilderness, alone with only the possibility of what your future could be, and now, carrying this baby in your arms, another held within you, born of all the love in your heart you could ever hold – you realized your choice had been made a long time ago – in your dedication to survive after Beth. You remember the moment of startling revelation that you’d never considered putting an end to yourself after witnessing such a tragedy, that it, perhaps, would have been less of a struggle after such a trauma. The realization seems to be colored in a different sort of light now, after everything. You can see now that that was your decision, that was your choice. That was your moment of ownership over yourself, of taking your very life, your future in your hands, and choosing to go on. Everything that had come after that was merely a byproduct of that moment of perseverance. Joel, Connie, Jackson, your life here, those were all consequences – the fruit – of that choice. You’d chosen to live. You’d chosen to go on in a world in which there existed the great possibility of being alone for the rest of your life, of dying, of more pain, more hurt, more struggle, and yet you’d done it.

You think of that long past conversation with Connie, I would not like to see your choices taken from you once again, but what he’d failed to realize was that you’d been living in the realm of that past choice already. That the ultimate decision – the one to endure, to survive despite whatever had passed or may come to pass, had already been made. The enlightenment of that certainty, that which you could provide for yourself, to forge your own path, to survive when you needed to, was infinitely comforting in the face of all that you had to look forward to. You realize now, holding such potential for life within you, in your arms, that was what your choice was, to live. Anything that came after that was only what had always been intended, what was inevitable, what would have always happened thereafter, no matter what. A life full of inevitabilities: Beth, you, Joel, a child. The comfort that realization provides now is so profound. You wish, like in so many other moments, that Connie were here to share it with him. The great epiphany of having realized that the place your life had come to had been led here by your own hand, after having felt, for so long, so out of control. There could be no regret after that, only a great appreciation that now you had so much to look forward to; even if, perhaps, the one thing, the one man, you needed might not be part of it. Another choice to be made there. Perhaps the most terrifying of them all.

Courage, above all else, it is courage that is necessary to go on.

You look down at Kate asleep in your arms, her full belly and the gentle sway of the rocking chair pulling her into drowsiness. You run the tip of your finger over the soft peach fuzz of her tiny little brow. “Poor little girl. All alone in the world… But now you have me – you’ll always have me. And soon there’ll be another, another baby,” you tell her, your most precious secret. “There’ll be three of us then. And I don’t know where I’ll get the strength to take care of us all, but I will, I promise. I’ll find it, I’ll pull it out of myself any way I have to. I promise you.” You press a small kiss to the softest rose petal of a cheek you’ve ever felt.

Joel leans against the side of your house – listening to you talk to Kate – promising this most sacred of things as you sit slowly rocking her on your back porch. Another baby, another baby, another baby. The entirety of the face of the world could be alight with fire in this moment, and he doesn’t think he’d feel himself burning. Maybe he already is. His heart, his heart – it’s on fire. Maybe I’ve finally gotten so fucking old this’ll be the thing to kill me. Maybe I’m actually just dying of a goddamn heart attack right now. He clutches his chest. Wants to laugh and cry and scream and kiss the ever loving hell out of you. He wishes, like in so many other moments, that Sarah was here. He wishes he could tell her she’s going to have a little brother or sister, that the two of you could have known each other. He can’t move, can’t get his brain to send a signal to his legs to move. To go to you. And he thinks: this is what real wonder is. This is like nothing else that has ever come before. A baby, a baby, my Birdie’s baby.

He can’t say he’s even surprised really, has just been subconsciously waiting for this. Acting like a goddamn teenager, just discovered sex, never heard of a condom or pulling out, fucking you every chance he got. Jesus. Two babies in his fifties – he’ll never hear the end of it from Ellie. A huff of a laugh escapes, and he feels a tear run down his cheek.

“Can I hold her?” He steps up onto the porch. You startle a tiny bit, jostling the sleeping bundle, looking around yourself as if for an escape, but when you look back into his eyes, it’s almost like there’s an air of resignation in them, as if you’re now realizing there’s no escaping this.

“Of course.” You frown down a little at her as you make the transfer, a soft coo passing your lips to settle her, reassure her, I’ll be right here, don’t be scared. The warm brush of your arms along his chest sends a shivering jolt through him. He hasn’t touched you in too long, what feels like years. He takes the baby gently from your arms and settles in the rocker across from you. The tiny weight in his palms is so small and yet so magnificently significant, heavy in the weight of what she represents. It’s been so many years since he’s held a baby, his own baby, but it feels as natural as breathing. The muscle memory reawakening to remind him to support her head, keep his too-big-hands gentle and soft. He looks back at you, so lovely, always. The most beautiful thing he’s ever set eyes on in his whole life, he’s sure. He wants to go and lay his head in your lap, stay there forever. And now that he knows the secret you’ve been carrying, he’s shocked at himself, that he hadn’t noticed before, so attuned is he to the planes of your face, the slope of your mouth and brow and cheekbone, the color and warmth of your skin, your body. But he sees it now, painted upon you as if you were a canvas for all that’s shared between the two of you, this tiny little secret you’ve both created together. It glows out of the light shining in your eyes, bathes your skin in the most radiant luminescence. But you look tired now too, afraid of him, of what he’s about to say, for he can see you know there’s something he wants to say to you.

“What is it? Tell me,” you breathe, and there it is, always that keen ability you have to read his mind.

“I was afraid,” he confesses.

And yet it is not a confession, for you already know, have always understood him to his very core. “I know.”

“I had a choice to make, a moment to flinch. I chose wrong.” Your gaze is trained on Kate asleep in his arms, and he can see the roll of your throat swallowing. “I should have never turned away from you. I will never turn away from you again.”

You stifle a little gasp, turn away to look out into the dark of the surrounding trees. He can see your eyes shifting back and forth, as if you’re searching for something. Perhaps now’s the appropriate time for him to get on his knees and start begging. He watches your throat work several times, and the tears welling in your eyes tell him you’re trying to swallow your sobs. A bludgeoning would be less painful than watching the look on your face right now.

He can’t voice what he just heard you say, not yet, not yet. He needs this to be about the two of you first, about what he feels for you, about what he needs you to understand about what’s inside of him, what he’s let go of, before he lets anything else interfere in what might happen here. He needs the two of you now to come to each other of your own volition, unburdened by anything else except for what you feel for one another, the necessity of being together because without the other you’d simply die.

“Birdie, look at me. Gimme those gorgeous eyes.”

“I can’t,” you choke out.

“Please, baby. Why not?”

“I don’t want to see what’s not there. I can’t–” He gets up then, comes to kneel before you, the baby still cradled in one arm, he brings his other to grasp your face. “Look at me, Birdie. Listen to me when I tell you that I fucking love you, and I will never ever leave you again.”

“Joel– there’s something–” you cut yourself off.

He grips your chin gently, the rest of his life cradled in both hands, “I am so fucking sorry. And I love you so goddamn much. I can’t say that I’ll never hurt you again, piss you off, that’ll I’ll never make a mistake, do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing,” his voice is guttural, he has to clear his throat several times of the tightness overwhelming it before he can continue, “But I promise I’m gonna do everything in my power to try. To be the man you need, the man Kate and Ellie need. Look at me–” for you’ve closed your eyes now, silent tears streaming down your cheeks, running over his fingers to drip down onto your lap. You blink them open. “You hearin’ me?”

“Yes–” you whisper, “Yes, I hear you.” And then you’re sliding down into his lap, bottom coming to rest on his bent knee so he’s cradling you in one arm and Kate in the other. “I should've never left–” you sob, clutch at his clothes, his hair, drag your nails through the thick of his beard.

“No, baby– no. I should’a never let you go.” He tangles a hand into the back of your hair, bringing your mouth to his, and then finally, finally the taste of you within him again. He licks into your mouth, deep. The hot cave of it, opening so sweetly for him. You moan into him, breathe him in, let your head fall back for him to devour more deeply.

But he pulls back, gives you a moment to breathe. There’s still so much left for the two of you to say. He grips you around the waist and rises to his feet with a grunt, goddamn knees, the both of you clutched within his arms. “Let’s put her to bed.”

The sight of him cradling Kate’s in his strong arms, the little bundle of her, so small, he could hold her entire weight in the palm of his large hand. Watching him set her in the crib you’d set up beside your bed, so, so gently, it has images of the rest of a shared life flashing in your mind. Sending painful cramps of lust through your womb, spears of longing through your heart. He’s so solid and strong. Broad and thick and you know that nothing could ever hurt you when you’re in the circle of his arms. He makes you untouchable by anyone or anything but him.

When he turns to face you you’re already there, pressing your hands and your breasts along the broad, strong planes of his chest. Pulling him out of the bedroom and into the hallway to push him roughly up against the wall and attempt to climb him. “Jesus fuck, Birdie–”

He cradles your jaw in that strong hand he’d just so gently cradled the tiny baby with, and you suck his thumb into your mouth, the groan he lets out at that — it sets you ablaze. “Joel, please, please, fuck me,” you beg. Your voice pitched into a whine. You’ll become inconsolable soon, if he isn’t careful, if he doesn’t hurry. Your cunt, a tight furl of desperate need, you claw at his belt, his shirt. “Please, p–please, I can’t wait anymore, I need it. I don’t care.”

“Birdie, open your fucking eyes,” he gives your head a sharp little shake, you’d pressed your eyes tightly closed to keep the tears at bay, “Look at me. This is it,” he says, “You and me. Do you understand? This is it – us.” Your eyes are huge and wet, unblinking. His grip on your jaw, cheeks smushed, mouth in a pucker, forces your head to nod like a marionette – as if he could force the understanding into you.

“I love you, Birdie. Do you understand me?” And you want to say no, no you don’t understand because how could you ever comprehend something that enormous.

You look down, then, unable to meet his eyes anymore and press the tips of your fingers to his lips as if to stifle his words. How can something you’ve wanted for so long, so desperately, scare you so much now? It’s as if the two of you have switched places – as if he’s transplanted his fear into you. What would you do with the love of a man like this? What does one do once they have the possibility of everything they’ve ever wanted within arms reach? How could your love for him, the intensity of it, intertwine with his in a way that could create a life together? How did one grapple with the notion of casting away their loneliness, their aloneness, when you’d lived with it for so long? And most important of all, what about all you hadn’t told him yet? What would he say then?

So many questions, little bird.

“I’ll give you anything. Anything you want, baby,” he whispers, and you wish he wouldn’t say such things. No – you couldn’t brush up against the idea of your love for each other existing out in the world one moment, only for it to be ripped away from you the next.

His voice is hushed, he says again: “I love you,” and the words slide through your hair like water as he presses you tighter into him. You feel so empty, your cunt clenching desperately around nothing at just the deep, familiar sound of his voice.

This feels, simultaneously, like the final nail in the coffin being ripped away, setting you free, and also, being hammered home, sealing your fate away with an undeniable finality.

And Joel, he’d never been able to say the words easily before. I love you, it is a blessing – a benediction and a gift – to be able to tell the person you love, out loud, how you feel about them. To have them in front of you to do such a simple thing. To have that choice. He’d always felt too laid bare by it – vulnerable. To Sarah, to Ellie, to his brother. He’d always needed to work around it, find another word for it, another action to show them – let me do you this favor, let me bring you this thing I know you love, let me stand guard over you all night so you can rest. It wasn’t ever enough; so, he’d say it now. He’d tell you now, without fear or regret or take backs. Without pushing you away after. He’d tell you, let it settle between the two of you and exist as it would.

You rip yourself from his arms then and turn away abruptly, too much to take in all at once. Pacing away, you can feel him stalking after you, herding you like prey. His fingers ghosting along the trailing tips of your long hair. You go as far as the confines of the house allow you to escape him, and then his hands are gripping your hips, spinning you around to face him and pressing you up and against him. Patience seemingly at an end.

He presses you up against the wall, his hands everywhere, under your breasts to lift the heavy weight of them up and into his face and open mouth, kissing and sucking and biting. He bends his knees to bring his face down closer to your level, sucks whatever skin of yours he can into his mouth, breathes you in, wraps his arms around your waist and squeezes.

You moan at the feel of him, your head tipped back – you should talk, you should talk, you know you have more to say – but your eyes are cast to the ceiling almost in supplication, and he’s everywhere, touching every part of you.

“I love you, and you’re gonna listen to me. I’m gonna say it over and over until you’ve got it in your head. Do anything I gotta do to prove it to you.”

“Promise me you’ll never leave me,” you beg suddenly, “Promise me you’ll be with me always, please.”

“I promise, Birdie.” I promise, I promise, I promise.

He pulls back, presses his brow to yours, it feels feverish and you’re trembling in his arms, needy little fingers carding through his hair to tug his mouth back to yours. “Tell me– lemme hear you say it.” He does not need to specify, you know what it is he wants from you.

A tiny whimper, and then: “I love you too.”

“Fuck–” who would’ve ever thought the words’d have such a direct line to his cock. He moans, deep in his chest and slots your mouths back together, takes your top lip between his own to pepper soft little kisses on your open, panting mouth, sucking and nibbling and licking.

He straightens to his full height, grasps the hinge of your jaw to open your mouth wide for him and thrusts his tongue inside, runs it along the roof of your mouth, behind your teeth. It’s wet and sloppy and you feel like you’re suffocating in each other. His hands roam down to clutch your ass in his hands and hoist you up and into him, your legs wrapping around his waist, he rolls his already hard erection into you. “I’m gonna fuck you now, alright? ‘Nd then we’ll talk some more, but fuck, right now I need inside that gorgeous cunt.”

“I missed you – oh god,” you moan, rolling your hot center along the stiff length of him, “Missed you so mu–much.” He growls the start of your name, his ragged voice turning it into nothing more than an incoherent, wordless snarl before he’s turning on his heel and setting your ass down on the edge of the kitchen table. His hands tangle in your hair, tugging your head back to open you to his savaging, all tongue and teeth, he fucks into your mouth with all the mounted desperation and fear and need of the past few days.

Your hands are at his belt, tearing his clothes open and then your hand is there, wrapping around the hot, hard length of him and he rips his mouth back to stare into your eyes, teeth bared in a snarl. You stare at each other, open mouths panting into each other as you start to jack his cock slowly, up and down, tight little hand squeezing from base to tip, a twist at the sensitive, leaking head.

“Shit, I– I was out of my fucking mind–” and at his words a flash of hot anger burns through him. “You’re never leaving me again. This is it,” he growls.

“Never,” you promise, “Never again.”

He pushes you back onto the surface of the table and pulls your ass to the edge, ripping your leggings and panties over your hips and down your legs. He pushes your sweater up over your naked breasts, wraps his hand around the lush weight of both of them and brings his face to them, licking and sucking as much as he can into his mouth. “Joel, please, please, I need you inside of me,” you’re crying, breathy, high pitched and whining.

“Not yet, not yet. Need to feel you, Birdie. Need to feel you here with me, need to taste you.” He kneels between your spread thighs, hooks one over his shoulder, your other ankle held in his grasp to anchor you wide, pushes to rest your heel on the edge of the table, completely vulnerable and open to him. Your pussy is red and swollen and soaked, slick sliding down your thighs, between your ass onto the table. “Fuck–” he licks the broad, flat of his tongue through the mess of your cunt, drinking your slick down. The taste of you – he’ll never tire of it, never get enough. Your back arches at the feel of his mouth on your aching sex and he takes the swollen bud of your clit gently between his teeth and holds there, you pause, acknowledge that you’re caught, before he sucks hard, and the whining mewl you let out, Jesus Christ, he could come just at the sound of it. He moves back down, presses his tongue inside, fucking in and out of you, can feel the ripple of your muscles, desperate for more.

He moves back up to your clit lapping at it with his tongue as he presses two thick fingers inside to stretch you open, eyes trained on your face the entire time. He can hear you whispering his name over and over again and it washes over him like a litany of forgiveness. He will do anything he needs to, to continue hearing you say his name like that for the rest of his life.

He stands then, fists his aching cock at the thick base and presses the wide head at your little clenching hole. “Gonna give it to you now, baby. No more crying, it’s okay, I’m gonna fuck you now.”

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Joel, Joel, Joel.

He’s pressing in, then, all the way to the end of you. Until his tip is at the mouth of your womb, right where you’re carrying his baby now. He pulls his hips back, the slick suck of your cunt trying to hold on to him, pull him back in deeper, and thrusts in again a little harder, but slow, just as deep, so that you feel the entire length of him, every throbbing ridge. Your eyes are unfocused, wet – lips red and swollen. So, so fucking beautiful. He needs to tell you now. He needs to tell you what he knows. Needs to tell you that he heard. That he’s gonna take care of the three of you. That you and him and Ellie and the babies will all be a family. That you’ll never have to worry or be scared or alone ever again. That there will be no more monsters. He pushes in again, harder, his hands sliding along the slopes and dips of your soft curves, brings one of them to the crown of your head to hold you in place, anchor you against the sharp thrust of his hips.

“How is it that we always end up in this position, huh?” he grunts. “Meant to have a conversation, but instead buried balls deep in your sweet cunt.” He nuzzles into your throat and you tip your head back. You’re beyond conversation, a half laugh, half moan all you can manage. He presses again and again and again against that sensitive spot he owns inside of you, fucks up against it harder.

“I heard you,” he whispers, so soft, into the dark, tender crook of your neck, that place made just for him, not stopping the rhythm of his hips. “I heard what you said to the baby earlier.” You freeze beneath him. Suddenly filled with tense fear and trepidation, and he hates himself for ever behaving in a way that could ever pull such a reaction from you. He promises himself and you and his child within you, that he will never, ever do something again to further that uncertainty. He presses a gentle kiss to the hinge of your jaw, runs his palm over the soft swell of your belly. “Heard you’re carrying a little secret, just for me.”

“Joel–”

“Didn’t think I could ever– would– would ever have– have this again,” presses another soft kiss, grinds his cock deeper.

It is almost possible to canonize each other with the force of this feeling. To give so much to each other – to create life in a dead world– what on earth could ever, ever be as sacred as this?

“You gonna give me a baby, little bird?”

“Y– yes, Joel. Yes – Oh, God– that’s so good,” you moan.

He grips your face roughly: “Tell me again, say it. I have’ta hear you.”

“I love you. I’m gonna give you a baby.”

“Fuck — fuck.” He starts to saw his length in and out of you again, the wet squelch like some lewd song between your bodies. “Again, again.”

“Ungh — I love you, I love you, I love you, Joel.” His cock feels like it gets harder and harder the more you say it. The words sing through his entire body. He grips the sides of the heavy wooden table to keep it from scooting across the floor with the power of his thrusts, and you clutch the front of his shirt to pull yourself onto him deeper.

“Fucking tight, p– perfect,” he grits, forehead pressed into your breasts as he watches the place where his cock impales you. His hips pick up their pace, fuck you harder “I’m gonna take care of us. Gonna love you forever." He starts to feel your muscles pulse and flutter at that, the wet suck of your pussy as you start to come around him, and the tight clutch is so wet, searing, it triggers his own orgasm. He wraps his arms around your waist to arch your back up, off the table and buries his face in your breasts as he starts to fill you with his spend. Your fingers tangle in his hair, press him harder into you until he’s almost drowning in your soft musky scent, come and sweat and him covering your skin everywhere.

“What are we going to do?” The two of you lay in a nest made of the comforter dragged off your bed, your ugly orange throw draped over your naked hips. He’d gotten the fire going, the warm fingers of it licking at your back. Your head’s tucked into the crook of his shoulder, your bare chests pressed together, hot and sweaty. So close and comfortable.

“You’re not to worry about anything,” tiny kiss pressed to your nose, “I’m gonna take care of everything,” another to the arch of your brow, the corner of your mouth, the edge of your jaw.

“Two babies is a lot.” You twirl your fingers through the curls at his nape. You’ll never stop touching him now, for the rest of your life, you plan to keep your hands on his skin.

He ignores that, continues his lecture, “And you’re not going to work so hard anymore – lots of breaks and resting. And you’re not to go forgetting meals anymore either. Three times a day, three square meals. And be sure that I’m gonna keep a close eye on all that.”

“And, and, and,” you mock, “Anything else?”

He gives you a stern frown, “I’ll let you know as I think of ‘em.”

“Actually, I think I’ll do what I want.” You hitch your thigh over his hip so that your wet core is pressed up against his thigh, his come still leaking from you. Even after he’d bent to clean you with his tongue after he’d pulled out earlier.

“You’ll do as I say.” He gives your bottom a gentle swat.

“What are you gonna do? Punish me?”

He nuzzles at your nipple, “No–” gives it a little bite, “You’d like that too much. Won’t give you my cock, that’s what I’ll do. Make you really suffer.”

“What a mean old man you are.”

“You like that too.” He rolls to lean over you, your head cushioned in the crook of his elbow. He gathers your wrists in his hand above your head, runs his nose along the length of your throat, a wet swipe of his tongue over the wing of your collarbone, down to the peak of your breast where he presses a long kiss, then his open mouth dragging over the lines of your ribs, lower still to the soft swell of your belly, where he presses his forehead. No sign of your secret yet, just the shared knowledge between the two of you for now. His tongue dips into your navel and you giggle, try and push him away, but he grips your thigh to keep you in place. He has you caught, snared. His nose journeys back up, skating along the surface of your skin. He nips gently at the meat of your bicep, and then back into your hair again to breathe deep, “Smell so good,” he moans. You can feel his length hardening again against your hip and your answering wetness begins to pool. “So soft–”

Kate’s cry sounds from the bedroom.

He pauses, “I’ll get her, don’t worry.” He presses a soft kiss to your temple and brow and heaves himself up with a rough groan. You watch the long lines of his body uncoil, the messy, silver threaded curls, broad shoulders, thick arms, smattering of hair on his chest that creeps down to his belly, his cock, thick and long, even soft as it is now, still wearing the glossy sheen of your slick. All your insides clench at the sight of him. Lust mixed with the satisfying flavor of possession, and the overwhelming splendor of your love, the knowledge that he’s all yours. That his claim over you is mutual, shared in full. That you love him, you love him, you love him, and he loves you back. That you’re carrying his baby.

Thank God pregnancy’s going to give you an extra excuse to jump his bones even more than usual, you think, with a pleased sigh.

“Stop ogling me,” he grouches, but you know he likes it, likes your eyes on him.

“Never.” You burrow further into your nest of blankets and stare at his ass as he walks away.

Joel and Ellie sit on her porch in the cool evening air after dinner. Nancy makes hooch in her spare time, when she isn’t helping you tend to patients, and they nurse glasses of it together now. It��s strong as shit, and who knew old ladies’d be so good at brewing booze, Ellie laughs

“How’s she doing?”

“Good. Settled now, just a bit tired from all the movin’ around. Overturning a mountain’d be easier than trying to get that woman to get off her feet for ten minutes.” He’d moved you and Kate into his house earlier that week. He had more bedrooms. More space to turn one of the guests into a nursery for the babies.

“She’s unsatisfied with the color of the outside of the house.” Baby, it’s so dreary. It can’t be a curmudgeon lair anymore, it’s gotta be baby friendly and bright. “Too dark and dreary, according to her.” It needs to look happy. “Don’t know where the hell I’m supposed to find enough exterior paint for a whole house in the middle of the damn apocalypse but–” he sighs. And really, when you’d gotten on your knees afterwards to make him agreeable, how was he meant to do anything besides whatever it was you could ever possibly want.

“Real trouble maker you’ve got on your hands there, it seems.”

“Ah, well, what’s three more trouble makers in the grand scheme of things, huh? Dealt with you well enough.”

She freezes, “Three?” The look on her face – oh, he’s in for it now.

“Well…you see– Birdie’s… well, she’s— I’d been meaning to mention it—” he can’t even say the word to her, slow and stuttering and red in the face.

“You knocked her up, didn’t you?!” she shouts. “But h– no – oh, that is so – ewwwwww! That is so– I don’t even– I don’t even wanna think about that!”

“Don’t be immature,” he says, exasperated, “And quit your damn hollerin’.”

“Fuck you, man. That’s disgusting – I can’t think about that shit. Old man and my friend – no way. Let’s talk about something else –” she looks up at the sky, anywhere but him, pretends to whistle, even though she still can’t, “Isn’t the weather nice tonight? Not too cold, huh?”

“You’re a weird kid.”

“You’re a weird kid, you dick.”

“Don’t go gettin’ all over excited now. These things happen–”

“You knocked your girlfriend up in the middle of the apocalypse,” she deadpans.

“Ellie–”

“Oh god–” she’s laughing hysterically now, bent over and clutching her middle, “Oh, god… I am never gonna let you live this down – Dina!” she hollers, “Dina, get the fuck out here! Oh my god, the fuck are you going to do with two babies, Birdie, me and Dina.You’ve officially been overpowered by estrogen.” She cranes her neck back and screams again, “Dina, Joel’s gonna be a baby daddy!” at the top of her goddamn lungs.

“Ellie! What’s the matter with you?” he hushes, looking around the dark road, “Whole damn neighborhood’s gonna hear you.”

She turns back to him, points a mocking finger at him, “You better fuckin’ pray that baby turns out a boy or you’ll never win another argument for the rest of your sorry life, old man.”

He slides into bed with you afterwards, his hand sneaking up the back of his t-shirt you have on to slide against your bare skin.

“How’d it go?” you murmur into his hair, sleepy and warm, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders.

“Good, Dina made dinner. Me and Ellie sat out on the porch after, had a drink.” The girls had invited the two of you over tonight as a small step, Joel and Ellie’s way of easing back into the normalcy of things, with the benefit of you and Dina serving as buffers for the inevitable awkwardness. You’d been too tired to join them – the fatigue of pregnancy taking a toll on your good graces. “Nancy’s hooch s’fuckin’ strong,” he mumbles into your skin, “Think it got me tipsy or somethin’.”

You huff a laugh, “So, normal…”

“Yeah, normal, s’good.”

“You talked?”

“Yeah, we talked. Told her about the baby” he says with a small smile, softly pushing your hair behind your ear.

“Oh, and what’d she have to say about that?” You sidle up into his chest, running your hands across the strong planes of him.

“Nothing flattering or respectful towards me or for the ears of an infant,” he grouches.

“I’d expect nothing less of her. Call you an old dog?”

He grumbles, “Yeah, yeah, amongst other things. Not so old I couldn’t knock you up though, am I?” Smug bastard.

“Of course not, baby. You know your old-man-charm is what really got me into bed with you in the first place.”

“Shut up, little girl.” He buries his head in the valley of your breasts, nuzzles softly, gives the swell a soft nip. Your breath hitches, extra sensitive now. “And how were you?”

“Tired…achy,” you pout. His hands roam now, squeezing and kneading the soft swells of your curves.

“My poor Birdie.”

“Feel better now though,” you squirm a little, hitch your knee higher up on his side.

“Is that so?”

“Mmm, we missed you.” Your hips roll a little, seeking the relief of his hard length.

“Missed me?” he nuzzles deeper and laves his tongue into your cleavage.

“Missed our daddy,” you whisper into his hair, breathy, whiny. Provoking.

That shocks him into stillness, gotcha. “Jesus,” he says gruffly. His hands reach down to cup your ass, squeezing roughly, rolling his hardening length into the soft apex of your thighs. Pressing down right on your clit and pulling a throaty moan out of you.

“Jesus fucking christ–” he pants and moves to cup you between the legs. “Make me so fuckin’ hard with that mouth.” The molten heat of your core seeps through the thin gusset of your panties, already soaked. “Can’t wait to see you round and swollen with my baby, little bird.” He pulls the neck of your soft, worn t-shirt down bearing your naked breasts to him. “So goddamn pretty…” His big hands mold the heavy weight of them and gently squeezes your tits up and into his open mouth, so sensitive… I know, I know, Birdie. Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle with this soft little cunt. I’ll get you nice and ready for me first.

What a cruel, cruel man.

He reaches down to free his hard cock from the confines of his jeans, pushes them down far enough to free his aching length and heavy balls. He pulls your panties to the side, exposing your aching, wet flesh to the cool air and tucks his cock under the elastic, letting the thick weight of him rest there, over your cunt, the tight stretch of the fabric adding to the pressure. Oh, he’s going to be mean, you can already tell. “Joel, please, no– no teasing– It hurts–”

“I know, I know, don’t worry, I’m gonna give it to you – Don’t worry. Just be a good and patient girl for me, just for a little.” He starts to thrust against your slick pussy, the fat head catching on your clit with every thrust up – stoking the fire in your blood. His hands on your ass direct your movements, but you need more, you need to feel more of his skin. You pull your shirt up over your breasts, and tug his own t-shirt up his chest as well, let your stomachs press together, the shared heat between your skin turning the temperature of your blood up to boiling. “Need to feel you,” you whimper.

“I’m right here, little bird.” His thrusts start to get faster, and he shifts his hips back a little, changing the angle so that the wide tip catches on your sensitive entrance with every thrust, and then up to grind against your clit. “Come for me, baby. Give it to me just like this so I can fuck you after. Need that little cunt nice and soft for me – gotta be gentle with her now it’s filled with my baby.” And God, the mouth on this man.

Your heart is beating so fast, it feels like it’s burning, like it’s going to melt and seep right into his own chest cavity. Everything below your waist starts to tighten and quicken and his cock is soaked with your slick, sliding fast and smooth, the slight catch at your opening and then the surge up to grind the entire length of him against your sex, the restriction of your panties making the squeeze tighter. You grip the thick muscle of his shoulders to leverage yourself better, roll your hips onto him harder, faster. You’re moaning his name, begging him for his cock and everything else he has to give, you want everything. And then you’re coming, the knot in your womb going loose and wet. Your head falls back on your neck, but he grips your jaw to bring your face back to his. “Lemme see those gorgeous eyes, my love, lemme see you come for me.” Your open mouth is panting into his, and he licks into you, tastes behind your teeth. He guides you through it, keeps the steady roll of his thrusts and your ass gripped in his hands bringing you further into him. “Just like that– Yeah, baby, give it to me just like that. So fucking pretty.”

“Feels so– so good,” you stutter.

He grips the base of his cock, your walls still fluttering and pulsing, and starts to press into your still clenching pussy. The wet gush of your orgasm pulls him in with a lewd suck of your walls, and then he’s there, there as deep as anyone’s ever been inside of you, right at his spot, and fucking up into it. His grip on the flesh of your ass is tight and you feel one of his hands sneak back between your legs to slot around where he’s fucking you open. “Goddamn, it does–” he growls, looking down at where his cock disappears into you. “Look at that– milking me like such a good girl. My perfect girl. Gonna give me a baby, my Birdie’s baby, huh?”

“Y– yes, Joel,” your voice is a soft, whimpering mewl. “I’ll give you anything– anything–” You dig your fingernails into the muscle of his back, try to drive your words home, into his skin.

“I know, I know, you’re fucking perfect, fucking wet– Keep going, keep coming around my cock, just like that.” He rolls you over onto your back now, settling deeper between your thighs, and picks up the pace of his hips. Your naked breasts pressed tight against his chest, the hair there rubs against your sensitive, swollen nipples. It feels like he’s everywhere, embedded in every square inch of your skin, invading, conquering. And he has, he conquered you a long time ago.

It is perhaps the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you.

One of his hands cups the crown of your head, keeping you in place, his palm so wide it covers the entire span of your skull, and the other pulls your thigh open for him wider, angling your pelvis so he can ram against the mouth of your womb, and your insides are so sensitive, your orgasm still echoing in your skin, it feels like he has a direct line to the very heart of your pleasure. He speaks to it in whispers and demands, and you roll directly into the throbs of a new orgasm. No reprieve, no moment to gather your skin around you, pull your seams together.

Joel, Joel, Joel.

“Yeah, I can feel it – Gonna soak my cock again, I can feel it–”

“Oh my fucking god,” your moan is broken and guttural, and then it’s there, overtaking you completely, your vision whiting out. Your back arches as deep as possible, somehow letting him in ever further and you feel the pulse of his come, the heat of it, as he starts to fill you.

“Fuck– fucking perfect cunt, take me so well.” He buries his face in your neck, licking and kissing as much skin as he can get his mouth on. The hinge is your jaw feels like it’s come undone, gasping and hiccuping, it’s too much. He feels so heavy inside of you, like your insides, your skin is swollen with him.

“Joel–” you whisper, trembling. He hums, pressing his nose into your hair, he pushes your head back, making room to run the tip of it along the column of your throat, kiss to the soft spot behind your ear, down to your collarbone to suck a blossom into the dip there.

He’s whispering into your skin, perfect girl, perfect pussy, so good, so pretty, let me fuck a baby into you, take me so well always. He pulls out gently, the both of you groaning at the loss, at the sudden gush of your mingled come. You’re soaked, the insides of your thighs, your panties a sodden mess. The lap of his jeans, that he’d not bothered to even take off all the way, soaked in your slick as well. He moves to shuck off his clothes, and then pulls your ruined panties down the smooth slopes of your legs. He kneels between your spread thighs, brings your foot up to his mouth, presses a soft kiss to the arch of it, then further up, his tongue dragging along your calf to your knee, another press of his mouth to the bone there, and then he’s spreading your thighs wide, a smug look of appreciation as he surveys the wet, swollen mess he’s made of you. His thumbs pull your lips apart to take in the sight of his come leaking out of your still clenching hole, a soft swipe of his thumb to your clit that has you gasping and bucking away. “Ah, ah, gotta clean you up, little bird.”

You’re too blissed out to even object, to tell him you’re too sensitive, that you can’t take anymore. His tongue is gentle, slow languorous strokes against your wet flesh. He eats up the mess, cleaning you slowly until another orgasm is right there, pooling low in your pelvis and then surging through you in gentle waves, rolling along the lines of your limbs. There are overwhelmed tears running down your cheeks, and you can see the slow grind of his hips into the mattress, turned on just from this, from the shared taste of you.

He kisses the insides of your thighs, runs his tongue along the crevice between your leg and pelvis, licking up the slick and sweat there, and it should be disgusting, but all it does is make you want to taste every single inch of his skin, as well. Finally, he lays his cheek on the damp inside of your thigh, looks up at you, and the two of you just lay there, holding each other’s gazes, quiet.

There’s a tiny bump to your belly now. The soft little swell existing between the two of you, like the most precious, perfect shared secret. This little kernel of truth that only belongs to the two of you. He’s been so smug about it, strutting around like a damn peacock. You’ve made him promise, Ellie, and Dina by proxy, are the only ones he can tell until you’re a little further along, but the cocky look he gets in his eyes every time he looks at you is practically a blaring sign. Yeah, I knocked her up, she belongs to me. And it’s also made him insatiable, relentless and needy, fucking you every chance he can get. Not that you’re complaining.

Wish I could get you pregnant again already, he’d whispered in your ear as he’d finished inside of you yesterday, bent over the kitchen table, leggings and panties around your ankles.

It is a small sort of miracle to lay here now, like this. Without any sort of distance, after everything else.

The desire for choice was the spark that animated the deepest inquiries of what now existed between you. The force that grounded the two of you together, a need for a path of your own choosing; one so savage, it overcame all other obstacles. Internal, external, human, fungus, past, present. None of those existential inquiries mattered after the choice for one another had been made. Once the helm of fear had been cast away, all that remained thereafter, was only the deepest desire to choose the path that, at the birth of the end of the world, had been stripped of the two of you. The willingness to choose for yourself that which you knew might, could, devastate you, and yet choose it anyway. To accept that a thing could hurt you, maim you, obliterate you, and yet still take its hand. To know that you may not deserve it, but that you would inevitably be hurt – that you would, yourself, inevitably hurt someone who, in turn, did not deserve it either. But that was the price of accepting your monstrousness, of cherishing it, of, at long last, letting it go. After all, to acknowledge a thing was, in many ways, to free yourself of its power over you. Your fear could not lead you, control you, if you were aware of it enough to master it, to take it for what it was, merely a faction of yourself, not the entirety of who you were.

No longer a man made up of fears, no longer a man made up of hurts.

After courage, the possibilities were endless. For courage, above all else, was what was necessary to go on.

Epilogue

Netherfeildren Masterlist

#FoG fic #joel miller #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller/reader #joel miller/you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller imagine #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #tlou fic #ellie williams

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flowerboycaleb · 3 months

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so many great singles dropped this month!! 2024 is shaping up to be a rlly exciting year for music. plenty of interesting projects are coming within the next few months and the singles accompanying them have me setting my hopes super high. here are my thoughts on some of the most notable singles & songs from the month!!! to check out my thoughts on some of the albums, EPs, and mixtapes that came out this month click here!!! since three noteworthy artists dropped singles like right after i posted this i made an add-on post here!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

"Turn the Lights Back On" - Billy Joel

◇ genres: piano rock, singer-songwriter

The way they hyped up Billy Joel's performance of his first single in over 30 years at the Grammy awards earlier this month ironically described why I'm not crazy about the track. The way it was framed in the video, and how I perceive the situation given the song itself, was that Freddy Wexler consistently pushed Joel to get back into the studio until finally Joel conceded. It was played up for laughs, but this song really does sound like a "please, will you get off my back" kind of thing. I don't know, it's fine. I feel like an asshole pooh poohing on a new single from Billy Joel, but it just feels so unnecessary. I doubt this will lead into a full album. Likely, the Piano Man will continue to sell out Madison Square Garden multiple times a year and play the songs everyone actually wants to hear. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Burning Down the House" - Paramore

◇ featured on Everyone’s Getting Involved: A Tribute to Talking Heads’ Stop Making Sense (not yet released) ◇ genres: new wave, pop rock

Paramore have provided the lead single for the new Stop Making Sense tribute album being headed up by A24 Music. It's a decent cover. The band can't really capture the frenetic, weird energy of the original, but that is an impossibly high task. Judging by some of the other artists involved in this project, this might be the best we get. I don't wanna be a hater because I'm hopeful this project might introduce more people to one of the greatest live albums, concert films, and bands of all time, but we shall see! listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Floating on a Moment" - Beth Gibbons

🥇 SONG OF THE MONTH

◇ featured on Lives Outgrown - Beth Gibbons (not yet released) ◇ genres: chamber folk, psychedelic folk, singer-songwriter

Beth Gibbons releasing a new solo album wasn't on my 2024 bingo card, but holy shit I'm so excited. Her feature on Kendrick Lamar's Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers nearly 2 years ago really got me excited to hear more new stuff from her and "Floating on a Moment" was exactly what I needed. This song is so good. Gibbons' voice is obviously fucking incredible, that goes without saying, but this sound suits her so well. That chorus is one of the best things I've heard this year so far. The twinkling guitars paired up with her vocals feels like you're ascending to a higher plane of existence. Not to mention that refrain at the start of the outro!!! What a lead single and what a comeback for one of the most distinct vocalists of all time. Can't wait for the full album. Ranks highly among my most anticipated albums of the year so far. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Dreamfear" | "Boy Sent From Above" - Burial

◇ genres: breakbeat hardcore, electro

Not entirely sure if this is an EP or a single, but I'm gonna throw it on here anyway. London electronic artist Burial is back with his first release for the XL label. 2 over 10 minute tracks that are pretty cool! My knowledge about Burial's sound isn't super expansive, I've only heard Untrue, but there's some really cool sounds here. Of the two tracks, "Boy Sent From Above" is probably my favorite. I love the more atmospheric vibe to it. The drops are really satisfying too. I'll try to revisit this again once I'm more familiar with Burial's work, but I still enjoyed these songs a good bit. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud (not available) YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"RiTchie Valens" | "Dizzy" - RiTchie

◇ featured on Triple Digits [112] - RiTchie (not yet released) ◇ genre: experimental hip hop

RiTchie, formerly of Injury Reserve and currently half of By Storm, has released his first two solo singles and is teasing a new upcoming project. I was a bit surprised by this because I assumed we would be getting some kind of By Storm project first after they released "Double Trio" late last year. This single is also a big change of pace compared to the tone of what they've been doing. Here, RiTchie is playful throwing out confident bars over a shimmering beat. The little "RiTchieeee, RiTchieee's" throughout the song are so silly too. The second single "Dizzy" is even better. It only dropped a couple days ago, but I can't stop listening to it. Alongside its release, RiTchie officially announced his first solo project coming in April. We're in for a real treat. listen here: "RiTchie Valens" Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud (not available) YouTube "Dizzy" Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud (not available) YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Butterfly Net" - Caroline Polachek & Weyes Blood

◇ featured on Desire, I Want to Turn Into You Everasking Edition - Caroline Polachek ◇ genres: art pop, new age

Caroline Polachek has released a deluxe edition of Desire, I Want to Turn Into You this month and it features a host of new tracks. One of them being this reworking of "Butterfly Net" featuring Weyes Blood. The original wasn't my favorite on the album, but this reworking has made me appreciate it a bit more. These two have really powerful vocals and they play off of each other very well. I haven't gotten the chance to listen to all of the new tracks from the deluxe version, but if they're as good as this then I'm excited. I also should probably revisit the whole album itself sometime soon. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━��━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"16 Carriages" | "Texas Hold 'Em" - Beyoncé

◇ featured on Act II - Beyoncé (not yet released) ◇ genre: country pop, country soul, contemporary country

Beyoncé surprise dropped two singles during the Super Bowl and announced the follow-up to her amazing 2022 album RENAISSANCE. While that album was focused on celebrating dance and house music as well as the black and queer pioneers of those genres, Act II seems to be trying to do the same for country. "16 Carriages" is the clear highlight here and Beyoncé feels right at home with this sound. Love the way she leans into the country soul side of things and I hope we get more of that on the album. "Texas Hold 'Em" is a bit rowdier, but it's the weaker of the two. I love the instrumentation though, for both tracks actually. Perhaps the best thing about "Texas Hold 'Em" is that it finally knocked Jack Harlow's boring, uninspired "Lovin On Me" off the number 1 spot on the Billboard Hot 100. I'm hoping it'll grow on me when it's in the context of the full album. I'm super excited to see where she can take this sound. listen here: "16 Carriages" Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube "Texas Hold 'Em" Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Capricorn" | "Gen-X Cops" - Vampire Weekend

◇ featured on Only God Was Above Us - Vampire Weekend (not yet released) ◇ genres: indie pop, chamber pop

I was a massive Vampire Weekend fan when I was in high school. I was listening to Modern Vampires of the City almost every day, I was obsessed. I would be lying if I said they were something I "grew out of" because these new singles really hit the spot for me. "Capricorn" sounds like a darker take on what the band was doing on a lot of Father of the Bride, leaning into some of the more psychedelic and folkier sounds. "Gen-X Cops" is more reminiscent of their earlier work, but still has a more mellow and introspective slant to it. Love the almost surf-rock sound at the start of it. Both tracks dive into themes of aging and Koenig makes some pretty poignant observations. Really excited for the new album! listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Training Season" - Dua Lipa

◇ genres: dance-pop, disco

I loved Dua Lipa's Future Nostalgia and it even made it into my top 5 albums of 2020 (don't go back on my rym and look at the list, i'm embarrassed at my writing from that time). I was super excited about whatever Lipa would drop next and it looks as if she's building up to a new project probably sometime this year. "Training Season" follows "Houdini" and I feel the same sense of apathy for the latter that I do the former. Neither are bad by any means and the production work by Kevin Parker on these singles is stellar, but it just feels like something is missing. Lipa still sounds like a star, but these hooks just don't grab me like some of her singles from a few years ago. Again, neither "Training Season" or "Houdini" are bad songs, but I'm just having a hard time getting into them. Hopefully they grow on me in the context of a full project. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Saturn" - SZA

◇ featured on LANA - SZA (not yet released) ◇ genres: neo-soul, alternative r&b

I'm not up to date on the SZA lore, but when this dropped I saw people saying that it was "finally on streaming" so I guess this song has been around for a bit. I think it's the lead single for SZA's LANA album, which is a reissue of SOS ... uhhhh I don't know this is very confusing to me. What I am sure of, is that SZA can make a damn good song. "Saturn" is further proof of that. This feels like a cut from CTRL and I love it. It has this hazy, dream-like production with SZA's distinct vocal style that sounds like she's bouncing along the beat. Really great stuff. I'm still not sure what LANA is, but as long as we get some more great songs I'm not gonna complain! listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp (not available) SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Fool" - Adrianne Lenker

◇ featured on Bright Future - Adrianne Lenker (not yet released) ◇ genres: indie folk, singer-songwriter

Another excellent single from Adrianne Lenker ahead of her new album coming next month. "Fool" is a lot shorter and sounds a lot more upbeat than "Sadness As a Gift" from last month, but it still has Lenker's signature writing style. It feels like ever since Songs she's just on an unstoppable role. I thought the well might've run at least a little dry following Big Thief's incredible double album from two years ago, but that's quickly been proven not to be the case. I'm not sure if this new album will be better than Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe in You, but it certainly has the potential to be Lenker's best solo project. Definitely one of my most anticipated albums of the year, can't wait to listen. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Hand On Me" - Nourished by Time

◇ featured on Catching Chickens - Nourished by Time (not yet released) ◇ genres: chillwave, synthpop

I listened to Nourished by Time's last album Erotic Probiotic 2 in like December of last year and I was so blown away by it that it ended up almost cracking my top 10 favorite albums of the year. It seems like he's not slowing down either, announcing that he has signed to XL and dropping this new single alongside a new EP coming next month. "Hand On Me" is brilliant. Taking his unique vocal style and throwing it alongside some dreamier production is a match made in heaven. Coming off his last album, I said that Nourished by Time is an artist that you NEED to keep your eyes on and this new single proves me right! Can't wait for the new EP. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Life Is" - Jessica Pratt

◇ featured on Here in the Pitch - Jessica Pratt (not yet released) ◇ genres: brill building, singer-songwriter

The first time I listened to Jessica Pratt was around the time her last album Quiet Signs dropped. I ... wasn't crazy about it. Pratt's unique vocal delivery just didn't resonate with me and I just never revisited it. That was until earlier this month when I, at the behest of my partner, revisited both that album and the two that came before it. I get it now! I was wrong, she's really good! Then like a week later she teases this new single ... perfect timing. This is an interesting new direction for Pratt, sort of ditching the folk of her previous work and instead turning to brill building. The pairing of Pratt's voice and this sound are so satisfying. It's like hearing a forgotten hit from like 1965 only with a bit bit of a more modern, dreamier sound. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"I'm a Man" - Kim Gordon

◇ featured on The Collective - Kim Gordon (not yet released) ◇ genres: industrial hip hop, trap, noise rock, witch house

Kim Gordon's new album is coming out in a few weeks and this month she released another insane sounding single leading up to it. "I'm a Man," like the previous single, has Gordon experimenting with hip hop and trap in a surprisingly ... great way! She mixes those sounds with some noise rock which we all know Gordon fits in like a hand in a glove. The lyrics here are a bit more substantial than the other single as well. The way she sings "come on, Zeus, take my hand" is just so fucking cool. I'm so hyped for The Collective and it's so cool that an Kim Gordon is still experimenting this deep into her legendary career. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"The Invisible Man" - Maruja

◇ genres: post-rock, post-punk, art rock

Following an amazing EP and a string of great singles in 2023, Manchester post-rock band Maruja have returned with their first release of 2024. They're in a really interesting spot right now because they've been dropping some really great stuff without having a debut album to their name. All eyes, at least in pretentious music spheres, are on them. This new single, "The Invisible Man," is certainly no different and its one of their best tracks to date. The instrumentation here is unreal, especially the saxophone parts. I'm a sucker for a post-punk band with a saxophone. Maruja are great at building tension in their songs and that's no different here. Everything just feels very anxious and when the climax finally comes it feels so earned. Their lyricism has also continued to impress me. I'm not sure if this new single means a debut album is on the way sometime this year, but I sure hope it does. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Doves" - Armand Hammer

◇ featured on We Buy Diabetic Test Strips - Armand Hammer ◇ genres: experimental hip hop, abstract hip hop

billy woods and Elucid have seemingly reissued their amazing album from last year with this incredible new bonus track "Doves." A slow-burning near 9-minute track featuring vocals and guitar from Benjamin Booker. The track begins with some soft guitar over this ambient noise with twinkling pianos interspersed within it. Booker's hushed vocals almost force you to pay attention to them. There isn't as much rapping on this song as you would expect, but when the verses do come in they lack the fire we've come to expect. In a good way, I might add. The noisy ambience gets harsher and harsher as we reach the end of the song. It's almost unnerving. They manage to make you feel so many emotions in just this one track. I've only had a couple days to sit with it, but "Doves" is really great. One of the most experimental tracks these guys have ever put out and it pays off. listen here: Apple Music Spotify Bandcamp SoundCloud YouTube ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ thanks for reading <3

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justthegreat1 · 1 year

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The Dead shall Rise: “Evil Dead Rise” Review

Pictured above is the “Evil Dead Rise” poster.

Image Credit: Warner Bros. and New Line Cinema

42 years ago, Sam Raimi would create a little movie that would spark an iconic franchise and 32 years later that franchise would be rebooted by the movie called “Evil Dead” (2013) which was directed by Fede Alvarez, this movie would receive critical acclaim. Now, 10 years later…this franchise would be brought back from the dead (pun intended) with “Evil Dead Rise” (2023) which is directed by Lee Cronin. It currently holds an 84% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes which is shocking considering the content that is inside the movie, now I know the Evil Dead franchise is known for its bloody content but for me I think this might be the bloodiest one yet, this might be even bloodier than the 2013 remake. Alright, let’s bring out our chainsaws, Boomsticks, and Necronomicon’s and go straight to the spoiler-free review.

Evil Dead Rise is a 2023 supernatural horror film directed by Lee Cronin (who also wrote the movie), Produced by Rob Tapert, Sam Raimi, and Bruce Campbell (who starred in the original Evil Dead movies and “Ash vs Evil Dead”). The cast involves Lily Sullivan as Beth, Alyssa Sutherland as Ellie, Morgan Davies as Danny, Gabrielle Echols as Bridget, Nell Fisher as Kassie, Richard Crouchley as Caleb, Mirabai Pease as Teresa, Anna-Maree Thomas as Jessica, Jayden Daniels as Gabriel, Billy Reynolds-McCarthy as Jake, Tai Wano as Scott, and Mark Mitchinson as Mr. Fonda.

The Plot:

A reunion between two estranged sisters gets cut short by the rise of flesh-possessing demons, thrusting them into a primal battle for survival as they face the most nightmarish version of family imaginable.

Positives:

One positive I have about the movie is the tone, I liked how they combine the campy elements of the original movies with the darker elements of the remake (which I prefer…please don’t cancel me). I appreciated how they balanced the dark humor of the original movie while adding the dark and intense moments of the remake to make it not so silly. I loved how unsettling Alyssa Sutherland was in the role of Ellie, especially during the bathtub scene.

Pictured above is Alyssa Sutherland as Ellie

Image Credit: Warner Bros. and New Line Cinema

The second positive I have about this movie was the cast, I really enjoyed the performances of Lily Sullivan and Nell Fisher as Beth and Kassie as their portrayals make you root for them and hope they make it out alive. I also enjoyed the characters in general as they were likeable and made smart decisions.

The third positive I have about this movie is that it was not afraid to embrace its R-Rating, there was tons of blood spilt in this movie with amazing practical effects as Evil Dead is known for that. I’m not going to look at cheese graters the same way again after a certain scene in the movie.

Pictured above is Lily Sullivan as Beth

Image Credit: Warner Bros. and New Line Cinema

Negatives:

The only negative I have is that I wish the movie was just a little bit longer as the ending felt rushed in my opinion, but don’t let that one negative discourage you from checking out “Evil Dead Rise” wherever you can.

My Overall Thoughts:

After watching “Evil Dead Rise”, I can’t wait to see what’s next in the franchise. I really enjoyed the exploration of the theme of motherhood and how it tied into the movie. This movie was disturbing, violent, and as Ash Williams would say…``Groovy.”

Where to watch “Evil Dead Rise”?

“Evil Dead Rise” can be watched in Theaters and through digital retailers now, Blu-Ray and DVD on June 27th.

What did you think about “Evil Dead Rise”?

Feel free to comment on this post and please keep the comments respectful.

Thank you.

#Evil Dead #evil dead rise #horror #Horror 2023 #Review #movie review

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desktopdisko · 3 months

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Desktop Disko's 99 - 2024 #02

Youtube Musicvideo Playlist: DD’s Top 100 Playlist - 2024 #02

01 Yard Act feat. Katy J. Pearson: When the Laughter Stops 02 Ão: More 03 The Mysterines: Stray 04 Dua Lipa: Training Season 05 Still Corners: The Dream 06 Jessica Pratt: Life Is 07 Depeche Mode: Before We Drown 08 Kali Uchis & Peso Pluma: Igual que un Ángel 09 Novastar: Look at You Now 10 Britti: Lullaby

11 Rosie Frater-Taylor: Give & Take 12 Luna Shadows: Little Rituals 13 Amatorski: 20/04 14 Kacey Musgraves: Deeper Well 15 Lo Moon: Water 16 Rachel Chinouriri: Never Need Me 17 Yard Act: We Make Hits 18 English Teacher: Albert Road 19 Abigail Rose: Run Girl 20 Maggie Rogers: Don't Forget Me

21 Another Sky: I Never Had Control 22 The Lemon Twigs: My Golden Years 23 The Last Dinner Party: Caesar on a TV Screen 24 Phoebe Go: 7 Up 25 Purple Disco Machine x ÁSDÍS: Beat of Your Heart 26 The Blinders: Swallowing Static 27 Drahla: Default Parody 28 Grace Cummings: On and On 29 Raven Numan: My Reflection 30 Bwana: Lonely Happy

31 The Beatles: Now and Then 32 Vampire Weekend: Capricorn 33 Norah Jones: Running 34 Dua Lipa: Houdini 35 Billy Joel: Turn the Lights Back On 36 Caroline Polachek feat. Weyes Blood: Butterfly Net 37 Night Tapes: Loner 38 Royel Otis: Foam 39 Leona Naess: Tailspin 40 The Warning: S!CK

41 Lézard: Je vais, tu vas 42 Skunk: 2 Wicky 43 DellaXOZ: Don't Do It 44 St. Vincent: Broken Man 45 Ibibio Sound Machine: Got to Be Who U Are 46 Waxahatchee: Bored 47 Suki Waterhouse: OMG 48 Low Hum: Only If You Say So 49 And They Spoke in Anthems: Leave 50 Jade Bird feat. Mura Masa: Burn the Hard Drive

51 Grandaddy: Long as I'm Not the One 52 The Black Crowes: Wanting and Waiting 53 Goat Girl: ride around 54 Bat for Lashes: The Dream of Delphi 55 Hurray for the Riff Raff: Hawkmoon 56 Novastar: Wrong - Abbey Road Version 57 Pearl Jam: Dark Matter 58 Richard Hawley: Two for His Heels 59 Maya Hawke: Missing Out 60 The Smile: Friend of a Friend

61 Elbow: Lovers' Leap 62 Holly Macve: 1995 63 lotusbliss: Tear Me Apart 64 Loverman feat. Daisy Ray: Would 65 OMD: Kleptocracy 66 Wallows: Your Appartment 67 Khruangbin: May Ninth 68 Norah Jones: Staring at the Wall 69 Lauren Eve Scheff: Nothing to Prove 70 Samantha Savage Smith: Wholesomely Made

71 Warpaint: Common Blue 72 Sevana: Lowe Mi - 2K24 Re-Release 73 Mooneye: Too Fast 74 Saya Gray: AA Bouquet for Your 180 Face 75 The Church: A Strange Past 76 Beth Gibbons: Floating on a Moment 77 The Black Keys: I Forgot to Be Your Lover 78 DIIV: Brown Paper Bag 79 Iskander Moon: Berlin 80 Benni: September 20

81 Sunday (1994): Tired Boy 82 Magnets: Speak 83 Jane Weaver: Romantic Worlds 84 Rosegarden Funeral Party: Doorway Ghost 85 Bobbi: Last Ride 86 Faye Webster feat. Lil Yachty: Lego Ring 87 Social Dance: Sometimes 88 Madison Galloway: Love Like Yours 89 Paul Weller: Soul Wandering 90 Keaper: Alone

91 Bolis Pupul with Salah Pupul: Ma Tau Wai Road 92 PJ Harvey: Seem an I 93 Freeze the Fall: Glitch 94 Juliet Ivy: We're All Eating Each Other 95 Dahlias: Ella 96 Aili: Fashion 97 Alycia Lang: Bad Luck 98 Newmoon: Crazing 99 Kevin Holliday: Brown Eyes

#yard act #indie #pop #dua lipa #kacey musgraves #depeche mode #mysterines #beatles #blinders

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karuwacho · 3 months

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K-Play Selection 2024 #01

Youtube Musicvideo Playlist: DD's Top 60 Playlist - 2024 #01

01 Still Corners: The Dream 02 Yard Act feat. Katy J. Pearson: When the Laughter Stops 03 Ão: More 04 Novastar: Look at You Now 05 Dua Lipa: Training Season 06 Rosie Frater-Taylor: Give & Take 07 Kali Uchis & Peso Pluma: Igual que un Ángel 08 Depeche Mode: Before We Drown 09 Jessica Pratt: Life Is 10 The Mysterines: Stray

11 Britti: Lullaby 12 Kacey Musgraves: Deeper Well 13 Maggie Rogers: Don't Forget Me 14 Rachel Chinouriri: Never Need Me 15 Amatorski: 20/04 16 Luna Shadows: Little Rituals 17 Lo Moon: Water 18 The Lemon Twigs: My Golden Years 19 Yard Act: We Make Hits 20 English Teacher: Albert Road

21 The Beatles: Now and Then 22 Novastar:��Wrong - Re-Imagined Abbey Road Version 23 Abigail Rose: Run Girl 24 The Last Dinner Party: Caesar on a TV Screen 25 Phoebe Go: 7 Up 26 Purple Disco Machine x ÁSDÍS: Beat of Your Heart 27 Caroline Polachek feat. Weyes Blood: Butterfly Net 28 Billy Joel: Turn the Lights Back On 29 Norah Jones: Running 30 Dua Lipa: Houdini

31 Drahla: Default Parody 32 Leona Naess: Tailspin 33 Vampire Weekend: Capricorn 34 Bwana: Lonely Happy 35 Grace Cummings: On and On 36 Raven Numan: My Reflection 37 The Smile: Friend of a Friend 38 Royel Otis: Foam 39 Night Tapes: Loner 40 The Warning: S!CK

41 Waxahatchee: Bored 42 Lézard: Je vais, tu vas 43 Pearl Jam: Dark Matter 44 Skunk: 2 Wicky 45 OMD: Kleptocracy 46 Richard Hawley: Two for His Heels 47 Elbow: Lovers' Leap 48 Loverman feat. Daisy Ray: Would 49 Holly Macve: 1995 50 Jade Bird feat. Mura Masa: Burn the Hard Drive

51 And They Spoke in Anthems: Leave (Leave, Leave) 52 Low Hum: Only If You Say So 53 The Black Crowes: Wanting and Waiting 54 Grandaddy: Long as I'm Not the One 55 Suki Waterhouse: OMG 56 Goat Girl: ride around 57 Bat for Lashes: The Dream of Delphi 58 Wallows: Your Appartment 59 lotusbliss: Tear Me Apart 60 Maya Hawke: Missing Out

Bubbling Under

01 Ibibio Sound Machine: Got to Be Who U Are 02 Lauren Eve Scheff: Nothing to Prove 03 Samantha Savage Smith: Wholesomely Made 04 Norah Jones: Staring at the Wall 05 And They Spoke in Anthems: You, Silly Wommer, You 06 The Church: A Strange Past 07 Khruangbin: May Ninth 08 Benni: September 20 09 DIIV: Brown Paper Bag 10 Madison Galloway: Love Like Yours 11 The Black Keys: I Forgot to Be Your Lover 12 Bobbi: Last Ride 13 Alycia Lang: Bad Luck 14 Iskander Moon: Berlin 15 Saya Gray: AA Bouquet for Your 180 Face 16 Hurray for the Riff Raff: Hawkmoon 17 Mooneye: Too Fast 18 Warpaint: Common Blue 19 Paul Weller: Soul Wandering 20 Beth Gibbons: Floating on a Moment

#still corners #dua lipa #karuwacho #beatles #pearl jam #maya hawke #yard act #kali uchis #warpaint #norah jones #mysterines #the last dinner party #caroline polachek #vampire weekend #lo moon #depeche mode

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popdroid · 3 months

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Popdroid Selection 2024 #01

Youtube Musicvideo Playlist: DD's Top 60 Playlist - 2024 #01

21 The Beatles: Now and Then 22 Novastar: Wrong - Re-Imagined Abbey Road Version 23 Abigail Rose: Run Girl 24 The Last Dinner Party: Caesar on a TV Screen 25 Phoebe Go: 7 Up 26 Purple Disco Machine x ÁSDÍS: Beat of Your Heart 27 Caroline Polachek feat. Weyes Blood: Butterfly Net 28 Billy Joel: Turn the Lights Back On 29 Norah Jones: Running 30 Dua Lipa: Houdini

Bubbling Under

#stillcorners #vampire weekend #dua lipa #maya hawke #beatles #kali uchis #popdroid #indie #pop #music #yard act #caroline polachek

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prettytm · 11 months

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18. a kiss that draws blood. Sunday nights are reserved for dinners with the Admiral. When Billy is the one to pick her up the car ride back to Bay Ridge is silent, the tension untenable. She disappears into her apartment and she takes everything out on the punching bag. On herself. Tonight is different. As soon as the car is in motion she puts up the security glass between them and the driver. One lithe leg fits over his lap and her hands press him into the seat with surprising strength. The kiss is hard, savage, after she traces the shape of his mouth with the tip of her tongue and pries him open. She catches his lower lip between her teeth, all of them suddenly sharp, and suckles it until she cuts the tender flesh, mixing his blood with the taste of wine lingering in the recesses of her mouth.

Fucking Kiss Billy ::: Accepting

Fucking Beth Riley would be the death of him yet.

If he had any experience with addiction he'd compare her to any drug that's currently on the black market. She's as sweet and as deadly as any of them. To limit what he feels for her down to.. He couldn't get enough didn't seem right, didn't seem strong enough of a statement but there isn't really much as to compare her to.

Perhaps the rush of battle, the bloodlust of war but that seemed insulting in the worse possible of ways. It made it seem like he thought of her as violent and cruel. Oh. She could be. But she was as sweet as sugar, kind, caring.. She was a woman who was equally as much of a devil as she was an angel. And she drove Billy mad.

He felt insane when around her. He loved every minute of it.

Like tonight. There was a routine after Sunday dinners. She'd take her anger and her frustrations out in the safety of her home and he'd be there to watch, to wait. She's never.. Imploded the way she does once that dark glass separates them and gives them privacy. She's never been the first to give into their shared desires.. And for one wild moment he thanks the man who had driven her to this reaction. Because kissing Beth was.. Earth shattering.

And oh how she kisses him tonight. Like she was hungry. Hungry for him, hungry to make a bite out of him. And he's not shy to return her rage, to return her rough huger. No. He kisses her with the same dark lust she gives him and if they've both bloody at the end? He'd licked her clean, taste even more of her of the sweetness of her drug.

#::: { asks } so does this mean ann margret's not coming?#brooklynislandgirl #::: { VERSES } As Deep As The Bluest Sea

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hooman4ever · 2 years

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‘Rip Barb’s Sanity’ !NSFW! Billy Lenz x Fem Reader

Contains: Pet Names, Attic Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilings

Requested by YESHOMOYES on Wattpad

"It's that god damn moaner again!" Beth had yelled cigarette hanging half out of her mouth a glossed over drunken look in her eyes.

Quickly you had stood making your way over to the brunette who looks as if she was ready to combust no doubtable about to go off on Billy- or The Moaner as the other girls in the sorority home called him. It had been a while since you had moved into the girl's home and the calls from Billy were a strange occurrence that you had experienced on your very first night in the home. "Agnes." he had yelled before a string of incomprehensible babblings and threats. Even though the strange calls deterred you at first shaking you to your core with fear and discomfort slowly you grew accustomed to the male's ramblings and even tried to talk back to him.

Your joy was immense after you shared your first real conversation with Billy. After hearing a small meow in the background of the call you had brought up the topic of the fluffy companion kept in the sorority as a fluffy mascot of sorts. Billy was ecstatic lighting up in joy at the mention of a cat. He had talked your ear off that night stuttering through random facts and stories having to do with felines.

It was cute you had thought when you finally hung up as you were summoned from somewhere in the home.

After that, you had practically scrambled to answer the phone when it rang looking forward to your conversations with Billy. The man even went as far as to demand you when one of the other girls made the terrible mistake of picking up the plastic device when Billy called.

The poor girl was left shaken as she handed the phone to you tears rimming her innocent doe eyes. She had ran off after she shoved the tele into your hands not wanting to be anywhere near the man on the other end of the line.

After that incident, the girls of the house were quick to usher the phone to you as soon as the strangled noises were heard, well except for Barb she usually toyed with the man first.

Things were good in the home and even now as you laid on the sofa in the common room with a fever you couldn't complain as the home was unusually quiet with all the sisters out working a charity event nearby. The loose shirt you wore barely clung to your shoulders constantly slipping down exposing your bare shoulder. Your legs were also on display as you had nothing but your undergarments covering your lower half except for the thin blanket you found yourself cocooned in.

A part of you was glad for the fever tinging your cheeks a scarlet color you were certain that the fundraiser would have been hell. The last thing you wished to deal with was a large group of kids hyped up on candy canes and cheap soda. You were sure the girls were having a blast at the undoubtedly understaffed event.

As the ringing of a phone pulled you from your thoughts you groaned slowly descending into your blanket home willing whoever was calling to go away. You waited till the home was once again filled with silence before reemerging to inhale a breath of fresh air.

RIngg- once again the phone at the bottom of the stairs decided to make itself known blaring out its ungodly song till you finally had enough fed up with the insufferable crying from the machinery.

Throwing your feet off the couch you stood slightly swaying as your body centered adjusting to the sudden change in altitude.

Begrudgingly you made your way to the source of the ringing before lifting the phone to your ear initially your reaction was to snap scolding whoever had dared to ruin your peaceful moment by their ungodly timing but you managed to hold your tongue as a familiar heavy breathing filled your ears. "Pretty kitty-" Billy said excitedly joy dripping from his tone.

The familiar voice had you less angry as you too felt happiness bubbling in your chest at hearing Billy address you in the adorable pet name he insisted on calling you after explaining his affinity for the fluffy house pet he seemed to love so much. The only problem was a sudden cold draft that rushed through the old home causing you to shiver. You had left your blanket on the sofa you thought cursing yourself as another wave of cold left you shivering. "Billy," you said addressing the man who had already begun his ramblings. He silenced however listening intently for your next words.

"Do you mind if I get a blanket quickly? I'll be right back I promise."

The man mauled over your words not wanting to let you go but then again the last thing he wishes was for you to freeze "Kitty can get a blanket. Hurry back Billy misses you." your face flushed and you chuckled a heartwarming feeling in your chest "I miss you too Billy, I'll only be a moment."

You set the phone down quickly making your way back into the common area in search of your blanket. It was gone- you could have sworn that you left it on the couch but it was nowhere to be seen. Defeated you made your way to the stairs the carpet soft under your bare feet. You made your way to the latter leading up to the attic. Climbing the crude wooden ladder you struggled in opening the wooden door on the ceiling finally it popped free, swinging upward.

The attic was dark except for a few beams of light that passed through the cracks in the roof. Moving forward you searched for the box of old quilts that were stored in the space for emergencies.

Before you could find the box however a shape on the wall caught your eye terrifying you. The shape of a man stood in front of you painted onto the wall in front of you.

Backing away from the large darkened shape dancing along the attic walls you gasped your fear-riddled brain not taking note of the heavy breathing behind you till it was too late and your back made contact with a warm hard surface. Almost instantly arms wrapped around you holding you close as to not let you fade into the shadows of the attic. "Kitty~" the familiar voice spoke causing your eyes to widen in surprise instead of fear.

It was Billy- "Kitty came to see Billy." The man happily stated the boney arms around you tightening as a nose brushed against your neck inhaling deeply. Billy felt light-headed as he inhaled your sweet scent the soft skin of your neck just under the tip of his nose. Billy was absolutely livid, finally, he had you with him locked in his arms, locked in his embrace.

He had wanted to touch you for so long to reach out and run his fingers across your body letting the tips dip into every crevice and curve lovingly. Billy found his fingers slipping under the hem of your shirt as he took what he wanted exploring your perfect body with his ice-cold hands.

The sensation of the cold digits trailing your sides had a steady stream of pleasure running to your groin like gasoline lighting a searing heat that pooled soaking through your panties as the hands wandering on your frame dipped lower and lower before-

"Billy~" you moaned out as the man behind you cupped you through your undergarments forcing the fabric to rub against your sensitive bits creating a strange friction that you couldn't help but arch into. "Please," you didn't know what you were begging for at that moment. Did you want him to let you go? Let you return back to the main floor safe from the sinful thoughts Billy instilled in your mind. Or were you begging for more of the stomach tightening stimulation the deranged man gave to you?

Despite the turmoil running through your mind delving into the consequences of what could come from giving in to your urges the hand that curled into you sealed your fate a broken gasp ripping from your lips.

It didn't take long for you to be repositioned on the attic floor your top ripped open buttons strewn around you in disarray as your full breasts were on display for hungry eyes. Hands were on you gripping and teasing you, nimble fingers explored motivated to touch every inch of your body. Inside and out.

Lips attacked yours attaching themself to yours in a hungry messy kiss that stole every breath of air you tried to intake. The chapped mouth moving against yours was desperate and depraved taking and taking till you were sure your lungs and heart would explode. With a poorly calculated bite to your lower lip, the offending lips pulled away allowing you time to breathe as they busied themself with other parts of your body leaving you covered in scattered bite marks and mouth-shaped bruises.

Trailing lower and lower Billy pathed a path of sloppy kisses down your front till his lips were right above the hem of your panties. "Such a pretty [Y/n]. Kitty slut- all for Billy." Billy said his voice strained as his need pressed against the front of his pants painfully while his hands fumbled pulling down the last piece of clothing keeping him from fully devouring you "Gonna taste my kitty slut." he proclaimed dipping his head between your legs where he ran his tongue through your folds flicking his tongue against your clit.

His ministrations were sloppy and lacked skill but more than made up with it with enthusiasm. Your fingers laced in Billy's fluffy hair tugging at his brown locks as Billy held one of your thighs keeping it in place while his other hand snaked by his mouth a few slim fingers making their way into you accompanying his mouth in pleasuring you.

His fingers sunk to his knuckles filling and stretching you he moved the digits in and out pressing the pads against your walls occasionally brushing against your g spot. Billy kept no real rhythm as he toyed with you going at a fast and punishing pace one second before slowing down in a torturous pace that barely gave you the friction that you needed.

The pleasure was blinding and you found your mouth falling open in a silent moan, your back arching from the floor and your toes curling. Billy's mouth sucked on your clit pulling a orgasm from you. Blinding heat shot through your body leaving your body tingling pleasantly.

Billy continued his movements lapping greedily at you like a starved man. He didn't pull away till you were crying begging for him to stop from oversensitivity. He waited till you were completely wrecked on his fingers nothing coming from your mouth except for a tirade of senseless babbling. His lips moved away from you, his fingers retracting leaving you feeling empty.

"Tastes so good," Billy cooed after he pulled away, his chin and lips shiny and slick from your previous release.

Your body felt like jelly and your limbs ached wonderfully. Hands planted themselves by your head as Billy loomed over you a smile on his face and a desperate look in his eyes. You felt something hard press against you and gasped.

The both of you were far from done.

The front door to the house unlocked opening and closing, Barb walked into the warm home tipsy and drunk with a drink in hand. She disregarded her winter jacket and snow-covered boots too tired to put them away in their respective places. Her movements were uncoordinated as she made her way to the stairs just wanting to pass out in her bed.

She saw the phone was off its usual spot laying next to it the receiver pointed upward. Strange she thought as she went up to the device lifting it to her ear. Barb paled at the noises coming from the other end of the receiver- your voice sounded needy and desperate.

Quickly Barb slammed the phone back into its spot ending the call before giving the glass in her hand a funny look "What the fuck is in this shit?" she questioned slurring before setting the drink down suddenly not in the mood to continue drinking the cocktail in the glass.

#billy lenz #billy lenz x y/n #billy lenz x reader #billy lenz x female reader #billy lenz x fem reader #slashers #slasher #slasher x reader #slasher x s/o #slasher x y/n #female y/n #female reader #female s/o

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wosoimagines · 3 years

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Protective - Jill Roord/Reader

prompt: Continuation of Little Sister where R is still with Arsenal and dating Jill Roord and now they’re living together, but she hasn’t told Kelley who is coming to visit.

warnings: none

words: 2049

(Y/N) POV

I let out a soft groan at the knock on the door from my spot on the couch. Jill chuckled at me. I didn’t want either of us to move so I was hoping that whoever was there would just leave. I thought they had since there were no more knocks for a moment, but, of course, the person knocked again.

I huffed as I got up from the couch and my spot cuddled next to Jill. I wasn’t sure who was here or why they were here. I opened the door.

“Kelley?”

“Hey, little sis,” Kelley grinned as she pushed past me and into the apartment. Jill got up from her spot on the couch once she saw Kelley. “Love what you’ve done with the place.”

“Kelley, what are you doing?” I asked as she put her bag down and looked at Jill.

“I’m visiting,” Kelley declared as she turned to look at me. She glanced at Jill. “Isn’t this only a two bedroom apartment?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. I wasn’t sure what Kelley was trying to get at. “Why?”

“Well, where am I supposed to sleep while I’m here?” Kelley complained.

“You can stay in my room,” Jill spoke up. Kelley turned to look at the Dutch player while I furrowed my brow in confusion. “(Y/N), you could take Kelley to that pub we all like for lunch. I can stay on the couch while Kelley’s here. I can move my stuff to your closet? I know you have a ton of room.”

“Yeah, sure,” I nodded. Kelley grinned at me as I grabbed onto her wrist. “Come on.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once Kelley and I got back, I was surprised to find Jill wasn’t home. But I did notice that she had dragged the air mattress out.

“I’m gonna take a nap,” Kelley said. I nodded and watched her as she headed for the guest bedroom. I noticed that there was some of Jill’s stuff in there so I assumed she put it in there.

I sent a text to Jill to figure out where she was. It didn’t take long for her to let me know that she had gone to the practice field. I left a note for Kelley that I was going out to practice and that she could text me when she woke up.

It didn’t take me long to get to the practice field. I stopped at the edge to watch as Jill was working on her shots on goal. I could tell that she was frustrated from the way they were so sloppy and barely went in.

I ran out to join her and took the ball from her. I could hear the frustrated groan from Jill as I ran behind her and stopped to look at her. Jill turned to stare at me with her hands on her hips.

“You know, you didn’t have to move your stuff into the spare bedroom,” I softly said as Jill looked away from me. “You also didn’t have to offer to sleep on the couch. We could tell my sister.”

“Well, then, why haven’t you?”

“Because we haven’t even talked about telling anyone outside of our Arsenal teammates,” I pointed out. I wasn’t even sure if her own family knew that I was dating her. “On top of that, Kelley is nosy and she can’t really keep secrets that well.”

Jill sighed before walking over toward the sideline. I watched her for a moment before I decided to follow behind her. I waited for Jill to sit down before sitting down myself. I made sure that we were facing each other, so that I could get a better read on how Jill really felt if she didn’t tell me the full truth.

“It’s just- Her being here?” Jill asked. I furrowed my brow. “How is it going to affect us? We have a routine. I don’t want to stop doing those things with you. Our weekly date nights? In our life, I love getting to look forward to those.”

“We don’t have to stop doing them,” I assured. I rubbed the back of my neck. “Look, I’m okay if we tell Kelley. Hell, I’m okay if we tell the world. So long as I get to be with you? I don’t care who knows. And no matter who comes to visit us, we never have to stop our routine.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Jill sent me a smile before darting up. I was quick to follow her as she ran for the ball. I couldn’t help but laugh as she tried to keep it away from me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I wanna make sure you’re okay with telling her,” I said as I got in front of Jill so that I could lean against the door. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable if you don’t want to tell her. If you don’t want to tell anyone, we don’t have to. It’s entirely up to you.”

“I want to,” Jill softly said. “I want to be able to show people that I’m with you.”

I smiled at her before pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

“Well, then, let’s tell my sister, yes?”

I reached behind me to open the door before we walked into our apartment. I wasn’t too surprised that once we dropped our gear off in the closet, we found Kelley cooking.

“Hey, I wasn’t sure when you guys would be back. I’m making chicken parmesan,” Kelley smiled at us. She threw the pan of chicken into the oven before actually turning to us. “How was practice?”

“Well, once someone was able to start hitting their shots on goal, it was pretty good,” I nudged Jill.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” Jill rolled her eyes. “Just because I was having a bad practice day.”

“Actually, there’s something I wanna tell you,” I said as I looked at Kelley. Kelley raised a brow as she turned to do something else. “Kelley, this is serious.”

“So is dinner,” Kelley said. She motioned to all three of us. “We’re all athletes. Gotta make sure that we’re all eating healthy.”

“No, Kel-”

“Which would you prefer? Mashed or roasted potatoes? I know you’re picky about them.”

“Roasted, but that isn’t-”

“So roasted potatoes it is.”

“I’m dating your sister,” Jill blurted out. Kelley stopped what she was doing immediately. I looked over at Jill and she glanced at me before looking at Kelley. I was a bit surprised that Jill was standing tall cause Kelley was glaring at her. “I’m dating her and we aren’t going to hide it just because you’re here.”

“What do you mean you’re dating my sister?”

“Exactly what I just said,” Jill said. She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to her. “We’ve been dating for a while now.”

“Get your arm off of my sister,” Kelley said as she pointed the knife in her hand at Jill. Jill, however, stood strong and left her arm there. “I mean it. My little sister doesn’t date. Because when she dates someone, she gets hurt. And I am not going to let anyone else hurt my little sister.”

“Kelly, put down the knife.”

“No!”

“You don’t get to make choices for me! I get that you’re my older sister and it’s your job to be protective over me, but I’m a big girl,” I huffed. I pushed Jill’s arm off my shoulder as I walked around the counter to where Kelley was. “I’m allowed to date people. Besides, if I was going to date anyone, you would want it to be Jill.”

“No, because I don’t want you to date anyone.”

“Kelley, you don’t get to make decisions for me! If you don’t like it, you can go back to the US!”

I immediately turned around and headed out of the apartment. I wasn’t too surprised when I got out onto the street and I could hear Jill calling after me. It wasn’t until Jill grabbed onto my wrist and turned me around that I stopped.

“I’m sorry, I just-”

“It’s okay, (Y/N),” Jill quietly shushed me as she pulled me in for a hug. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel betrayed. You told your sister something huge and you wanted support.”

“Yeah, well, it seems to be a recurring theme with Kelley,” I softly said as I pulled back to look at her. “Can we just go to Viv and Lisa’s or even Daan and Beth’s for a little bit.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jill nodded. She pulled me back in for another hug. “Whatever you want. Your sister isn’t the only one who gets to be protective over you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jill and I had stayed with Viv and Lisa for a couple of days while we let everything cool down. The only times we had stopped by our apartment was so Jill could run in to grab our gear so that I didn’t have to see Kelley. But it was after practice one day, that I figured that Jill and I should probably go home so that I could talk with Kelley.

It was why I found myself sitting in the car with Jill staring at our apartment building.

“I could always come in with you,” Jill said as she grabbed onto my hand.

“This is something I need to do by myself,” I smiled at her. Jill gave me a soft nod before pressing a kiss to my hand. “Go hang out with the other Dutchies. I know you guys love hanging out together.”

I got out of the car and I grabbed both of our bags before I headed in. I wasn’t too surprised to see Kelley jumping up from the couch once I shut the door. I dropped the bags by the door.

“We have to talk.”

Kelley only nodded before following me to the kitchen. I grabbed a water from the fridge before offering one to Kelley. Kelley nodded and took it from me.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. I just-”

“I know, Kelley,” I said as I sat my water down. “I’m a big girl now. Mom and Dad have accepted it. Why can’t you? You can’t protect me from everything. Hell, I need to be able to make my own choices. I need to be able to make mistakes and learn from them. So why can’t you let me?”

“Do you remember when you were in kindergarten? There was this boy named Billy,” Kelley started.

“Yes, I remember Billy. I got a black eye making sure some other boys didn’t pick on him,” I nodded. I remember it well cause Mom had been worried sick but Dad was proud of me for standing up.

“I was picking you up one day and Billy asked who I was,” Kelley softly said. “When I told him who I was, he told me that I was the reason why you stood up for him. Because you said you wanted to be a protector like me. I never wanted you to have to feel like that because that was my job. I am the one who is supposed to do the protecting.”

“You can’t stop me from living my life, Kelley,” I said. Kelley sighed as she lowered her head. “A protective sibling talk would have been one thing. But you don’t get to make decisions for me. No one gets to make decisions for me but me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean anything. You told me that I couldn’t date my girlfriend,” I shook my head. “You fought me on making a decision about my career. You didn’t even want me to move here when this was the best option for me. I want you to leave.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Kelley! Please,” I begged. “Just go home. Go home and I will see you whenever I visit.”

Kelley didn’t move. I didn’t want to snap at her, but I didn’t even want her in England anymore.

“Now, Kelley!”

Kelley hung her head as she headed to the spare room to pack her stuff up. I shook my head before heading to my own room. I didn’t want to have to watch as my sister left because I wasn’t sure if we could even fix what was broken now.

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #jill roord imagine #jill roord imagines #jill roord x reader #kelley o'hara x reader #kelley o'hara imagine #kelley o'hara imagines #USWNT #jill roord #Kelley O’Hara

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spnsisterimagines · 3 years

Text

Mario Kart

Summary - Y/N decides to engage her brothers and Castiel into Mario Kart, not realizing what she was getting herself into.

Pairings - Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader, Sam Winchester x Sister!Reader, Jack Kline x Platonic!Winchester!Reader, Castiel x Winchester!Reader

Word Count - 1,911 words

"Let's get it!" Y/N squeals, claiming her spot on the middle of the couch. She was practically bouncing up and down, waiting impatiently for everyone to join her. The Dean Cave had brightened considerably since she had added a few redecorations. While Dean initially denied her, she had forced him to allow her to put up LED lights, several polaroids from her camera(they were mostly of herself smiling widely at the camera while Sam and Dean looked mildly annoyed with fake smiles. There was also a real funny one where Sam was unconscious on a hunt and Y/N decided to pose beside him), as well as posters from their favorite bands. Not to mention the added dock to the TV stand to hold her Nintendo Switch that Sam had bought her for her previous birthday.

She supposed he regretted it now, since she was forcing him to play a game he'd never even heard of.

He entered the room first, holding a big bowl of popcorn and a soda. Dean followed close behind, Little Debbie packages hanging from his mouth since his arms were occupied with pillows from their bedrooms and a pack of beers for himself. Jack was the only one to come empty handed. He happily took the spot beside Y/N, waving merrily as Castiel also appeared with two sodas(both of them for Beth because he was just so considerate), taking the spot on her other side.

"I'll give this an hour before we switch to movie night, Y/N," Dean warned as he occupied his armchair, which was to the left of the couch. She had discovered this old thing at a garage sale. It had been a rather stressful day because Dean had refused to strap it to Baby and they had to hound what little friends they had for a truck. Since most of their friends were dead, Y/N had hot wired one outside of a bar and returned it before the drunk redneck inside could notice it had even left. She was sure the dent in the bed was there before they put the couch on it. Sam had not been happy about that.

Sam took his own armchair, which was to the right of the couch.

"What is it, again?" he asked curiously.

"Is the only thing in the media you've ever heard Facebook? You've seriously never heard of Mario Kart?" Y/N asked, happily accepting one of the sodas from Castiel. "Dad really did a number on us. I was introduced to this through Charlie." She got up to grab the number of controllers necessary for four. Jack was eager to try the game, but he was always open to trying new things, something Y/N could appreciate.

After connecting them to the Switch, she handed them out to her brothers along with Jack before returning to her spot on the couch between the angel and nephilim.

"If I remember correctly from what you've told me, it's a racing game, right?" Castiel asked.

"Exactly, except with a few quirks to make it interesting. Like, um...I could throw a shell and hit one of them and vice versa. Or a banana peel. I'll give them a trial run before we actually get into it. Are you sure you don't want to try it, Cas?"

Castiel shook his head. "I have seen how you play with Charlie, and I don't want to be on the receiving end of your anger. And I rather like watching you in your element."

Y/N smiled, blushing, before playfully pushing him.

"I need to get drunk to stomach this," Dean said, offended as he popped one of the beers open and took a gulp. "Keep the PDA to a minimum guys, you've got a kid next to you. Alright, what buttons do I push to hit Sam?"

"What the hell?" Sam scoffed.

"What?"

"We haven't even started and you're gunnin' for me?"

"Uh, yeah!"

"Alright, alright! First we gotta pick our player," Y/N mediated, pressing the buttons to get them to the screen full of Mario players. "I already got mine." She moved her icon until it landed on Wendy, before selecting her. "Obviously the best character, hands down."

The three boys maneuvered their icons over different characters, for some reason taking it a little too seriously on who they would choose. Sam selected his first.

"Luigi?" Dean scoffed.

"You got a problem?" Sam asked.

"No, but...why Luigi?"

"Who cares, I just chose him."

"You have to have a reason, man." Dean shook his head, before selecting his own.

"Why'd you choose Bowser, then?"

"Because he's a badass. And he'd beat the holy hell out of Luigi if the games lost their PG rating," Dean shrugged.

Jack hummed thoughtfully, still scrolling. "I choose him!"

He selected Toad.

"Why him, Jack?" she asked.

"I like his hat."

Y/N snorted, but it was a valid enough answer. Once everyone was ready, she selected the settings for the game and then decided to use the time to explain to them how the controls worked and anything else they were curious about. After a few trial races, they were ready for the real thing. Castiel was sitting patiently, his hands on his lap.

"You assholes are going down," Dean declared, bringing his remote closer to him.

"So much for being appropriate in front of the kid," Y/N sneered, but she was just as ready.

She set the game to go through ten races with a random select for the roads.

And with that, they were off.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Dean yelled, nearly jumping to his feet. His first empty beer bottle slide across the floor from his rapid movement. "I DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH IT! I DIDN'T GO NEAR THE GODDAMN PEEL!"

"That might've been mine," Sam stated, smugly. "But Bowser also takes up half the road, so avoiding it was probably impossible anyway."

Dean squinted. "You callin' me fat, Sammy?"

Sam shrugged. "Luigi's doing just fine."

Y/N hid her smile as she hit her own item, snatching that smile right from Sam's face.

"Why did you do that?" he asked, incredulous, the red shell sending Luigi off the edge of the map.

"You got in my way!" Y/N sang.

It only seemed to get worse from there. What was supposed to be an hour of playing turned into four with the bowl of popcorn thrown across the room at Dean when he had decided to hit Sam three times with three separate shells before snagging first place and doing a lewd dance as a way to declare his victory. Y/N's hair had bristled up, becoming bushier almost as though it were alive. Her right eye was twitching, and her hands were cramping by now.

Jack, however, was having a good time. He has gotten last place the entire time, but he was still having fun, and that's what truly mattered.

Castiel, on the other hand, seemed to be on the verge of a panic attack, not knowing whose side he should take because all three Winchester siblings were completely out of their minds, including Y/N.

Finally, it was the last race. Everyone's nerves were shot. Sam's hair seemed even more raggedy than Y/N's, and his shirt was stained with soda because Dean decided to take vengeance by chucking his pillow at him when Sam was taking a big gulp. They had to pause the game for several minutes while Sam fought for his life coughing and wheezing because the soda went down the wrong pipe.

"I'm afraid I must at least attempt to deter you guys from participating in another race. There aren't any weapons in the Dean Cave, but I'm sure you three will find a way to kill each other," Castiel said, worried. "Jack, are you okay?"

Jack nodded enthusiastically. "I'm having fun!"

"I will let it be known if I lose, someone is dying tonight. I will call Billie to fix it, but someone has to die tonight if I lose," Y/N threatened.

"Good luck with that, I'm kicking all of your asses, and you can kiss mine when it crosses the finish line," Dean said.

"I don't even care if I win, as long as you guys lose. And I'll make sure it happens." Sam jeered.

With that, the race began. Aside from Jack and Castiel, everyone was bloodthirsty. Surely no matter who won, someone was gonna be pissed off. Castiel was making a mental note to grab Jack as soon as possible and escort him out of the room while the siblings brawled.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Y/N shouted, jumping to her feet. "WHO DID IT! WHO DID IT?"

"I did!" Sam happily announced, moving to and fro with the turn of his controller, as though he were in the game himself.

"I'm gonna get you, Sam," Y/N snarled, pressing hard on the buttons, trying her best to catch up to her brother, collecting any items she came across, but none of them were good enough, so she kept using them without thinking until she heard Dean curse and also jump to his feet.

"THAT WAS ME, JACKASS!" he yelled, completely distraught. "I didn't even do anything this time!"

"You probably deserved it anyway!" Sam shrugged, continuing to maneuver through the AIs to get to the front.

By that time, Dean and Y/N had caught up, and with all they had, they used their items to completely screw each other over up until every kart had passed them. In the end, they were the bottom three with Sam first, Y/N second, and Dean in dead last. And for a moment there after, nobody said anything. They were completely beside themselves in utter shock at what just occurred.

"What just happened?" Y/N asked, deflating considerably.

"We lost..." Sam mumbled.

"Screw you guys, I lost overall!" Dean scoffed.

"I won!" Jack suddenly cheered, leaping to his feet and jumping up and down. "I won!"

"You what?" Y/N asked, shocked as her eyes trailed to the top. Sure enough, Toad was in first place. "You're kidding!"

"I can't believe I won!" Jack said, smiling as he high-fived a proud Castiel.

"I want a rematch," Dean commanded, sitting back down and retrieving his controller.

"Yeah, me, too!" Sam agreed.

"I'm down!" Y/N eagerly agreed, about to grab hers when Castiel snatched it. He went around the room, taking up all the controllers.

"Given that it's five in the morning, and just a couple moments ago you three were ready to quite literally rip each other's throats out, I'm going to recommend everyone get up and get to bed instead," he instructed curtly. "I think we should postpone a future night of games indefinitely, at least for a little while until you three can learn to control yourselves."

"What-but-you can't-" Y/N sputtered.

"Quite literally, I can shut off whatever is necessary so you can never play the game again with just a snap of my fingers," Castiel warned. "Shower and get some sleep. Jody already told us she needed to discuss something at noon tomorrow, and it would be rude if we were tardy. C'mon, let's go!"

With a grumble, everyone got up and cleaned their mess, ignoring each other vehemently as they walked out. Except for Jack; he was practically skipping.

There was another good thing about tonight that he knew about. He was the one that triggered the lightning item that really stumped the three siblings and put them at the bottom three.

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brooklynislandgirl · 1 year

Note

🖤

A Little Me, A Little You || Accepting

Lalahiwa || Billy Russo Rough Roads || Punisher au

attractiveness:

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.

personality:

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic {sociopathic is probably a better word} / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible.

how likely they would have sex with them:

not if they were the last person on earth and the world was ending / fuck no! / never / no way / not likely / not sure / indifferent / I’m asexual / maybe / probably / it depends / fairly likely / likely / yeah sure / yes / would tap that / hell yes / fuck yes! / wishing that could happen right now / as many times as possible / we are already having sex.

level of friendship:

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend.

first impression of them:

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

current impression of them:

#Mahalo!Punky <333 #Broken Wings|Billy Russo #Waiting for this Moment|Billy and Beth #Rough Roads|Au- ANVIL version #{{Beth: sighs softly in his direction then goes back to things that are attainable}}

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voxmortuus · 3 years

Text

Silly Crush | Chapter 6 - How?

Stu Macher x F!Reader

Scream (Movie) FanFic

Sorry, this one is really dialog-heavy.

Words: 997

Chapter 1 Silly Crush | Chapter 2 Movie Date | Chapter 3 Dinner Date | Chapter 4 Joy Ride | Chapter 5 First Fight

You had so many questions running through your mind. You didn't even know where to start asking. Let alone what questions to ask. You bit on your nail and looked at Stu, observing him, wondering how this creature could do such a thing, and the more you thought about it, the more it started to gnaw at you. Licking your lips, you let out a soft breath and leaned against the table.

"What are you thinking?" He asked you.

Taking a moment, you let out a soft breath. "Okay, so you do these things, with or without Billy... and you enjoy them?"

Nodding quickly and without hesitation, he answers. "Yes."

"What goes through your mind?" you bite the corner of your bottom lip, you keep your fingers on your lips, waiting for the good stuff.

"Well, it depends on the situation." He states

Tilting your head, you think of a situation. "Okay, your last one. What were you thinking then?" You ask.

"Well, I was thinking how annoying she was, my rage for her, the deep knowing feeling of her cheating, the deep knowing feeling that I was her prisoner, her accessory, How she used me, just a pawn in her game." He states, looking down at his hands, and back up at you, his eyes went dark, and your toes curled looking at his hands and back at him.

"Okay, what was it like?" You ask.

"Honestly, it was the best feeling. This rush of adrenalin washes over you. You feel invincible. Powerful." He smirks.

"What did your first time feel like?" You ask as you start to fiddle with your hair.

"Well, at first I was sick, I was disgusted, not with what I was doing but with the smell. I had this sinking feeling that I was going to get caught my first time, but here I sit." He smirks.

"Yes, here you sit." Tilting your head, you nibble on your lip a moment.

Thinking about a few more questions, you readjust in your seat, letting out a soft breath as your legs pressed together, tilting your head, looking at him, and smile. He smiles back and looks down at his hands again and back at you.

"Stu, how do you do it?" You ask him.

"Well, do you want the bland version or the detailed version?" He asked you.

"Detailed."

"Well, It starts with a phone call..."

"Skip that. How do you murder them, Stu?"

"Oh, okay. Well, these people always try and run, or throw something at me, so I have to figure, am I running or am I countering something thrown? When I get to them, Personally, I like to go for the neck, choking them, my hands wrapped around their throats, squeezing the last breath from them. Feeling the throat collapse in your hands, the bones crushing, feeling them take their last breath. I'm partial to a good deep throat slit or even for the dramatic, but I'm more of a hands-on kinda killer, makes me glad we wear gloves." He looks over you.

Your heartbeat has picked up. You lick your lips, leaning in, wanting more as your legs slowly press together again, rubbing together the friction, and the thought of Stu doing this was something you wouldn't think you would ever be into. Your breathing is jagged, you reach over and touch his hands, and you stand up, walking around the table and sit in his lap straddling him, and you look into his eyes, letting out a small breath.

"Fuck me." you tell him.

Without any hesitations, he looks over your face and reaches his hand between your legs, leaning you back slightly to lean against the table as he feels how wet you are a smug smirk creeps across his lips as his fingers work you and he readies himself. His cock in his hand as he shoves his fingers into you, you let out a soft whimper and feel him rub his cock against your pussy before he pulls you down onto him, feeling him harden a little more before you let out a gasp.

He grips your hips and helps guide you up and down on him, your hands on the table behind you as you bounce in his lap, feeling him deep inside you. You let out a soft whimper before you feel his hands digging into your hips. You take a hand moves to him and you place them on your throat.

"Choke me." You demand.

He wasn't going to question. His fingers wrap around your throat, lacing together in the back and he squeezes in just the right way to not hurt you, but to give you exactly what you're looking for.

"Such a dirty girl." He smirks.

Biting your lip you grow wetter as he squeezes tighter around your throat. Your moans become strained as you bounce on his hard throbbing cock as he guides you up and down by your throat. Your hands move to his chest as you rock back and forth, he picks you up by your throat and places you on the table, and starts thrusting into you harder.

"Cum on my cock. Now." He demands.

Without any second-guessing, you do just that. your body shakes and you let out a scream. When you let out your scream Stu feels your tighten around him almost pulling him in as he finishes inside you, not thinking, so caught up in this moment. He slowly lets go of your throat and looks over your face. "I'll talk about murder more often..." He chuckles

"Or you take me with you and I'll fuck you in the car after I watch..."

"Or I can fuck you after you do it and I watch."

"Either or." you chuckle.

You stand up and fix yourself feeling his cum roll down your leg, you look down and back up at him and he shakes his head.

"Leave it. Just a reminder." He smirks.

Scream Tag Squad: @luciferslittleastre, @ms-ghostface, @ginger-called-beth

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electrictoes · 3 years

Text

All We Are

For @dailysvu’s Sonny Carisi Week

Day 4: “What is this between us? Relationship: Amanda Rollins / Sonny Carisi

Read on AO3

They don’t define this thing between them - it just is.

After a week, Sonny thinks maybe they should - but he’s so happy, and he doesn’t want to break this calm comfort they’ve found in each other by putting labels on things that have never needed to be labelled before.

Everyone around them is so curious though; other people want it defined. And it shouldn’t matter - shouldn’t be anyone’s business but their own. But it isn’t that simple. Their friends and family make no secret of the fact that they've been waiting for this almost as long as he has.

He skipped out on most of Memorial Day weekend with his family for the first time in his life - only putting in an appearance in his parents’ backyard late on Monday afternoon, a white lie on his lips; that he’s been stuck at work - a lie his mother sees through in an instant.

He can’t stop checking his phone; types and deletes a message to Amanda - an I miss you that he can’t bring himself to send, because it’s so ridiculous. He sends her a photo of the backyard filled with family instead, and smiles down at his phone when she sends him a photo back - the girls at the park, ice cream cones in their hands, sprinkles and chocolate sauce already trailing down Billie’s arm.

He tries to duck out of sight to call her a little later, but his mother catches him as he creeps up the stairs to his childhood bedroom; she stands at the foot of the stairs, hands on her hips, a scolding frown on her face - he hears the Dominick before she says it, and slinks back down to the hallway without a word, thinking about how he’s a prosecutor and he faces tougher opponents than his mother on a daily basis, but no one can reduce him to his thirteen year old self like she can.

His mom doesn’t let him slip back out to the party, her grip on his arm is firm as she tugs him into the kitchen, “Alright, out with it,” she says and he feigns confusion.

“I don’t-”

“It’s either a girl, or it’s something bad,” she says, arms crossed over her chest, a shadow of worry on her face. “And your sister told me you broke up with-”

Sonny sighs, resisting the urge to fold his own arms. He hadn’t actually told Bella that at all, just relayed one of the many arguments he and Nicole had had before they’d called it quits, but he wasn’t surprised that she’d drawn her own conclusions. “Bella needs to stop gossipin’ about me.”

“Tell me.”

“There’s nothin’ to-” His mother fixes him with a look that would have had him running to his bedroom as a kid; he resists the urge to bolt now. “It’s new,” he says, and because his mom doesn’t so much as blink, he adds. “Rollins.”

There’s a part of him that’s almost giddy at the way she reacts - the way her posture softens and she smiles up at him. He enjoys it for half a second before the questions start coming in thick and fast - he deflects, but she ploughs on.

“So the two of you are-”

“Figuring that out,” he says. He listens to her as she talks about not wasting time, tells him he’s not getting any younger, reminds him his grandmother’s engagement ring is still sitting in her jewellery box upstairs just waiting for him to need it.

“Way too far ahead of yourself, Ma,” he says - too far ahead but still visible there on the horizon.

The closest they come to having the what is this? conversation in those early days is the is this a secret? conversation.

“I don’t want it to be,” Sonny admits, “But if you wanna wait until-”

“Until what?” Amanda asks him, “I’m sure,” she says. “If you are.”

They’re on the couch, the girls fast asleep down the hall and her feet resting in his lap; it’s casual and domestic and not really all that different from the way things have always been, but he lets himself take it in, appreciate the way his world is changing. He rests his hands on her shins as he smiles over at her, “I’m sure,�� he says. And that’s it.

Everything left unsaid passes between them in looks, kisses, and touches. They don’t need more.

They don’t advertise it; there’s a time when they’ll have to - disclosure paperwork and conversations about professionalism and objectivity as though they haven’t been managing just fine up until now. But Sonny’s diligent - he’s checked the paperwork - he might have checked the paperwork over a year ago, when she’d left him at his desk with a sad smile and he’d spent the next forty-eight hours kicking himself, only for a global pandemic to stop him calling in that rain check - and he knows they have time.

They do arrive at the precinct together one Tuesday morning a couple of weeks in; he has a meeting scheduled with Liv first thing and he hasn’t been back to his own apartment in three days. They’re not so blatant as to hold hands, but they do work with some of the best detectives in the city, so it isn’t a surprise that they’re caught out within minutes.

Fin gives them look, but he doesn’t say anything. Sonny’s sure he’ll get a comment in at some point, but while everyone knows Fin enjoys a gossip way more than he lets on, he’s good at keeping his questions to himself until the moment that best suits him.

Kat doesn’t follow suit. She’s nothing but questions and Sonny tries to escape under the guise of waiting for the captain in her office, but Amanda grips his jacket sleeve, silently telling him not leave her.

“How long?” Kat asks, “And what exactly-”

“Our business,” Amanda says; she’s smiling at Kat, no malice in her tone, but no room for argument either.

Jesse get a pass. Because she’s Jesse. And because this affects her just as much as it does Sonny and Amanda. For the first two weeks of waking up to Uncle Sonny sleeping in Mommy’s bed she doesn’t ask any questions - it surprises him, because that first morning waking up beside Amanda his second thought had been that they would have to figure out how to explain his presence there to Jesse and Billie. When Jesse had raced into Amanda's bedroom, though, she had just greeted him like she was used to him being there, and he’d wondered if they’d ever actually need to sit them down and explain.

Eventually she does ask, one night after he’s tucked Billie into bed with a kiss so it’s just the three of them awake. He leans in the bathroom doorway while Amanda gives Jesse her bath. She’s been unusually quiet, and there’s a thoughtful look on her face, “Mommy,” she says after a while, blinking water out of her eyes as Amanda washes her hair, “Is Uncle Sonny your husband now?”

Amanda coughs as though she’s the one with a face full of water, turning to look at Sonny with a startled expression. He gives her a soft smile, but he doesn’t have the answers either.

“Not yet, baby,” she says, and Sonny can’t help the grin that comes over his face, however wide Amanda’s eyes go at her own words.

“You’ve gotta have a weddin’ first,” Sonny adds, and Jesse beams over at him; he sees a dozen questions forming, but Amanda pours more water over her head, rinsing out the shampoo and buying them more time in the same moment.

Once she’s out of the bath, dressed in her pyjamas and ready for bed, Jesse throws her arms around his legs, hugging him tightly, “I’m glad you’re gonna have a wedding with Mommy,” she says, and tips her head back for a goodnight kiss before skipping to her bedroom as though she hadn’t essentially just told him to get on with proposing to her mother.

Amanda’s mother shows up unannounced at her apartment one Sunday morning, and it’s Sonny who answers the door - not expecting Beth Anne Rollins to be standing in the hallway, an impatient look on her face. “Oh,” is all she says when she clocks sight of him, her gaze travelling down the worn t-shirt and pyjama pants he’s wearing, his bare feet on the wooden floor. She pushes past him into the apartment, not greeting him or stopping for breath, “What are you doing here? Amanda finally admit she’s got a thing for you?”

He closes the door behind her and follows, not answering her questions. Billie scrambles down from the dining table to run and hug her grandmother, abandoning the cereal he’s spent the last ten minutes trying to coax her into eating, while she’d stubbornly refused and told him she wanted garlic bread for breakfast.

“Where is Amanda anyway?” Beth Anne asks, turning to look at him again. He feels self-conscious with her gaze on him, the soft clothes, untamed hair, shoeless Sonny Carisi was reserved for Amanda - and by extension the girls - certainly not for his possible future mother-in-law.

“Takin’ Frannie for a walk,” he says, “Jesse’s gone too,” he adds unnecessarily.

Beth Anne nods, still eyeing him with suspicion as she reaches into her handbag and pulls out a lollipop for Billie, who grabs at it gleefully.

“No-” he starts, but Beth Anne is already unwrapping the treat, and he sighs as Billie puts it in her mouth. “She hasn’t finished her breakfast,” he sighs.

“And who says you get to tell me what my granddaughter can eat?” Beth Anne says, smiling indulgently at Billie.

Sonny shakes his head, “I’m gonna… if you’re here I’m gonna get dressed,” he slips away to the bedroom, taking jeans and a shirt from the drawer he now has in Amanda’s dresser. While he changes he hears the sounds of Amanda’s return - Frannie barking, Jesse yelling a greeting to her grandmother. He hears murmuring as Amanda questions Beth Anne’s impromptu visit, and when he returns Amanda and her mother are at opposite ends of the kitchen, Amanda leaning back against the counter with an unimpressed look on her face.

“And then he tries to tell me not to give Billie candy-”

Amanda shakes her head, “He's right. It’s barely 9am, Momma.”

“Well, is he your boyfriend now or not?”

“Momma,” Amanda starts, but cuts herself off when she spots him hovering just beyond the kitchen, she gives him a warm smile, “We’re together, that’s all that matters,” she says, meeting his eye - all she feels and all that goes unsaid held in her gaze for him to see.

They fill in the disclosure paperwork that evening; they don’t have to just yet; they’ve still got time, Sonny’s been keeping the deadline in his head, but Amanda leaves him on the couch and goes out into the entryway where her work bag is; she returns a moment later, a manila folder in her hands that she passes over to him as she sits down. The form inside is mostly filled out - all their basic information already there in Amanda’s handwriting, the only empty boxes are Date of Disclosure, and Nature of Relationship.

“Time to make it official?” he asks, and she pokes his arm gently.

“It’s already official, Carisi,” she says, “Unless you’re thinking otherwise.”

“No,” he says, shaking his head at her, “You got a pen?”

“We’ve got to decide what to write in that box,” she tells him tapping the Nature of Relationship box with the pen she’s just grabbed. “Whatever we’re calling this,” she gestures between the two of them.

“According to Jesse, I’m your future husband,” he says, only half-joking.

Amanda just laughs at him, “I think you’d need to write fiancé,” she says, “But you’re not getting off that lightly - you need to propose to me yourself,” she tells him; she glances away as she adds, “Not yet, though.”

Someday, he thinks, leaning over, a hand reaching for her face, turning her back towards him so that he can kiss her; she lets him, kissing him right back for a minute or so before she puts one palm to his chest, pushing him back from her, “Carisi, let’s finish this first.”

He sighs as he pulls away, but it’s worth it not to have missed the impatient smirk on her face.

“I got it,” he tells her, resting the sheet of paper on his knee as he adds one word to the empty box. Partners.

#carisi week #sonny carisi #rollisi #rollisi fic #svu #svu fic #my fic #amanda rollins

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