Just Come Home
the sequel to Wish We Could Be Like That
Pairing: WandaNat x Reader
Words: 4.5~
Summary: Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Inspired by the song Where's My Love by SYML
Warnings: bad words, bad writing
A/N: 4 days, a few tears, and a new laptop later, I'M BACK! So sorry for being MIA, thank you all for being so incredibly patient with me. Remember how I said this was gonna be a 2 part fic? Yeah, I got a little carried away, so it is now a 3 parter. Hope thats ok with everyone :) I hope you enjoy
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Part One - Part Two - Part Three
The sound of an alarm rips through the silence. The endless string of high pitch beeping pulls three bodies out of the depths of sleep.
The first movement you are aware of is behind you. Careful not to jostle you or Wanda, Natasha sits up. You whine against the loss of the warmth.
You lift your head from its place on Wanda’s chest and peak over your shoulder. “Tasha?’ you call out softly, only half awake.
“Shhh,” the Russian tries to replace the warmth by pulling the blanket up over your body, but you don’t want a blanket. You want your girlfriend spooning you from behind like she was two minutes ago. “I’m going on my run,” she whispers. She runs her fingers through your hair, hoping to coax you back to sleep, which you desperately needed. Last night had been emotionally draining for everyone, but especially you.
“What time is it?” you ask sleepily.
Nat looks over her shoulder to the clock on the bedside table, “a little after 4.”
A long sigh escapes your lips, “ok.” Just as carefully as Natasha, you extract yourself from Wanda’s arms. You press a kiss to her forehead before turning to get out of the bed.
Your girlfriend stops you before you get even one leg over the edge of the bed. “Where are you going?” she asks.
“Back to my room, time to go,” your sleep fog brain forgetting the events of the night before.
Natasha gently grabs your shoulders and guides you back into a lying position on the bed, “lay back down.” She lays you on your side facing her. You feel a set of hands wrap around your waist possessively. Apparently, Wanda was not too keen on losing both of her cuddle buddies, even in her heavily asleep state.
“But Steve will see,” you remind her, but Nat has a reminder of her own.
She strokes your cheek and smiles warmly, “we don’t care about that anymore. Remember?” She leans down until her lips find yours. She kisses you soft. Your own tired lips try to keep up, but you have to admit the exhaustion is getting the better of you. Wanda’s arms wrap around you tighter, almost daring you to try and leave her embrace.
When Nat pulls away from the kiss to smile down at you, she’s satisfied that you are well on your way back to sleep.
The Russian presses a kiss to your cheek, “I love you.” She then reaches over you to kiss Wanda’s cheek as well, “I love you.” She leans back down to your eye level one last time, “go back to sleep.” She stays there a minute, softly stroking your cheek until she is certain you won’t try to get up the moment she steps away.
Natasha then stands to change from her pajamas into a running outfit. She only makes it a few feet from the bed before your voice stops her.
“Tasha?”
When she looks back at the bed, she is pleased to see you still fully relaxed, eyes closed. “Yes?”
You smile sleepily, not even opening your eyes. “Love you too,” you mumble before falling back into unconsciousness.
Natasha stands there for just a moment longer. She just can’t peel her eyes from the two of you wrapped up together. She’s not entirely sure what she had done to deserve the two of you, but she’ll be forever grateful. Quickly and quietly, she dresses and slips from the room without disturbing either of you.
The next interruption comes in the form of a ringing cell phone.
You recognize the ringtone to be yours and groan at the thought of having to leave the comfort of Wanda to answer it. Instead, you just let it ring.
When it finally stops ringing, you sigh in relief. You can call whoever that was back later. There is no way you are leaving this cocoon of warmth anytime soon.
At least that’s what you thought.
The room is quiet for less than thirty seconds when the ringing picks up again. Now you have no choice but to extract yourself from Wanda’s grip to reach for it. Your phone rests right beside the alarm clock. One glance tells you an hour and a half has passed since Natasha left for her run. You grab the phone and when you see the contact name come across the screen, you answer immediately.
You bring the phone to your ear, “Good morning Fury.”
“And a very good morning to you, agent,” his voice drips with sarcasm.
To avoid waking Wanda with your conversation, you roll out of the bed and walk into the bathroom. You close the door quietly behind you, “so, what’s up?”
“Gas prices,” he quips back at you, “we can discuss that and your new assignment when you report to my office in say 15 minutes?”
He says it like a question, but you know damn well that it is not. “Yes, sir,” you barely finishing agreeing before he ends the call.
You set the phone on the counter and look at yourself in the mirror. The light catches on the chain around your neck and the two rings hanging from it. A smile stretches across your face as you relive the moment they gave it to you just the night before.
Slightly giddy, you make your way to Nat and Wanda’s closet to find something to change into, since you can’t exactly walk into your boss’s office in your pajamas.
Once you are dressed, you pad over to the side of the bed where Wanda is still sleeping soundly. Careful not to wake her, you lean down to press a feather light kiss into her hair. “I love you,” you whisper.
With one last look over your shoulder, you exit into the hallway. Heading immediately to meet with Fury.
~Cold bones, yeah that's my love.~
Back from their morning run, Natasha turns down the hallway with Steve at her side. They talk quietly, heading to the common area to eat breakfast. They’re halfway there when a flash of blonde hair walking in the opposite direction catches Nat’s eye.
“I’ll catch up with you in there,” the redhead says to Steve, before hurrying to follow her sister down the hall. “Hey,” she calls out, "Yelena." The blonde widow stops and turns to her sister.
“Don’t worry,” the younger woman quips, “I won’t tell Wanda about your little side piece. Though it looks like she already knows.”
Natasha catches up, coming to a stop in front of her little sister. She is fuming mad but keeps her cool. The older woman slightly glares at her, “first: do not ever call Y/n that again.”
“Ok,” the blonde shrugs, “which do you prefer: side chick, mistress, the other woman, homewrecker-“
Natasha takes a step towards her sister, “she hasn’t wrecked anything.”
“Really?” Yelena cocks her head to the side, “where’s your engagement ring?” Natasha reflexively looks to her hand and the empty space her ring used to be. She then crosses her arms.
“Yeah, I noticed that. What happened?” Yelena taunts, “did Wanda find out about your little booty call in the bathroom?”
“Are you done?” the older woman asks as soon as Yelena finished speaking.
Yelena takes a deep breath to calm herself. Her attitude gives way to something close to sisterly concern, “look you are an adult. You can make your own choices, even if they include cheating on your fiancé, who up until Y/L/N started poking around, you were very much in love with. You were happy with Wanda, really happy. I just don’t understand why you’re throwing that away for her.”
Natasha clenches her jaw. She doesn’t want to slap her sister, but if she keeps talking about one of the loves of her life this way, she might not be able to control herself. “Are you done?” she asks again, voice as calm as a glassy lake.
The blonde rolls her eyes and nods.
“Good,” Natasha begins, “for the record, I am not cheating on Wanda-“
Yelena quickly interjects, “I saw you last night Natasha! You were practically swallowing her face-“
“If you had stuck around for longer than three seconds, you would have seen that Wanda was in there with us.” She pauses for a moment to let that sink into her sister’s head. “I’m not cheating on Wanda. Wanda and I are both dating Y/n. My engagement ring,” Nat holds up her left hand to further display the lack of a ring, “is hanging from a necklace on Y/n’s neck. Wanda’s is right next to it.”
“You’re both with Y/n?”
The older woman nods.
Yelena stands there for a moment still trying to wrap her mind around the new information. “How long have you been together?”
“Remember that two month mission everyone went on but me, Wanda and Y/n?” The blonde nodded. “Since then.”
"Is it serious?" Yelena asks, "it must be if you gave her your rings. Right?"
Natasha smiles, "yeah, its serious. I love her. We love her."
Yelena runs through the past months in her head. All the little things she saw. The things she misinterpreted. After a minute of silence, she speaks up again, “why didn’t you just tell us you were together?”
“We were worried how everyone would react. We didn't want other people’s opinions to ruin what we had," Natasha feels a very familiar guilt overcome her again, "but that nearly happened anyway.”
“I may not have understood it right away, but I would have respected it at least,” Yelena admits, “I wouldn’t have been so harsh on her.” The younger widow thinks for a moment, “well, I still would have been harsh, but it would have been the ‘don’t you dare hurt my sister’ talk instead-“
“Yeah, you will not be giving Y/n that talk,” Natasha interrupts. When her little sister tries to protest, she shuts her down, “No. You lost that privilege when you decided to take your frustrations out on her rather than talk directly to me with concerns for my relationship.” The older widow tilts her head, raising her eyebrow, almost challenging Yelena to fight her on this.
The blonde quickly nods, “that is fair.” She quickly reflects on her relationship with Y/n over the past few months. She had rapidly pushed away a very close friend and treated her like an enemy for a reason that she now knows is not even based in truth. Guilt begins to eat at her from the inside, “I was pretty shitty to her. I don’t even know what to say.”
“An apology would be a good place to start,” Natasha suggests.
Yelena nods in agreement, “she hates me. Doesn’t she?”
"I can't speak for her," Natasha smiles slightly, “she might not forgive you right away, but I think she’ll be happy to have her friend back. Don’t worry, you’re at a higher standing than Clint at least.”
“Clint? What did he do?”
“Hey Nat”
The sisters turn to see Wanda approaching them.
When she is close enough, Natasha leans over to place a kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek. Wanda smiles tightly. Her eyes narrow and cut to Yelena for just a moment before she turns to Nat.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” The witch takes a step to move, but Natasha’s hand on her arm stops her.
“She knows,” the red headed widow nods in the direction of her little sister.
Yelena ducks her head a bit sheepishly, “I’m sorry. I never would have acted the way that I did if I had known.”
Wanda keeps her features cool, “I’m not the one you owe an apology to.”
“I know,” she nods, “I’m going to apologize as soon as I see her.”
The witch observes her future sister-in-law for a moment longer, before nodding curtly. She then turns back to her girlfriend and fixes the redhead with a similar icy stare, “now, you…” Her stern tone informs Natasha that she is in trouble, but for what she can’t fathom at the moment.
“Care to explain how I have two girlfriends and still woke up alone?”
Natasha stares at her for a moment in shock. That was not something she expected Wanda to say, especially since when she left the room, Wanda was very much not alone in the bed.
“In my defense, Y/n was still in bed with you when I left for my run,” Natasha holds her hands up in mock surrender. “You sure she wasn’t there when you woke up?”
Wanda tilts her head, “I think I would have noticed our girlfriend in the bed with me.”
~She hides away like a ghost.~
The common area is full when Natasha and Wanda enter. They immediately do a quick sweep of the room. Their eyes quickly scan over every face, but don’t find the one they are looking for.
They had already peaked into your room to see if you went to get dressed there, but the room is empty. The gym, living room, and the study you like to hide in to do paperwork all come up empty. They even come full circle, going back to their room just in case you had managed to get back there with out passing them. Everywhere they checked got them no closer to you.
“Where is she?” Wanda wonders out loud. Natasha can only shrug her shoulders.
“Hey Wanda and Nat!” Sam calls from a table, “where’d you two disappear to last night?” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Anybody get lucky?”
“Hey!” Steve quickly calls out. He moves to cover Peter’s ears, “there are children present.”
The annoyed teen instantly pushes the super soldier away, “I’m not a kid!”
The two red heads walk further into the room. “Yes, you are bud,” Nat shakes her head jokingly when he hangs his head in defeat.
“Has anyone seen Y/n this morning?” Wanda asks looking around the room for someone to tell her where her girlfriend is.
The team looks between each other, waiting for someone to answer but they all just remain quiet.
Kate finally speaks up from her spot next to Yelena, “I haven’t seen her since last night.”
“Come to think of it, she disappeared about the same time as you two,” Sam offers. That gains the attention of half of the room. They quietly look between the couple and Sam trying to sort out if there was something more to that piece of information.
Wanda and Natasha look at each other for a brief second. A silent conversation that ends with a small nod of the head. This is as good a time as any.
“Yeah, she came home with us, but we haven’t seen her since I woke up this morning.”
The whole room goes quiet at Natasha’s words. They look between the two of them as their brains calculate. Had she just confirmed what Sam had suggested? What did she mean “came home with us”?
The silence hangs heavy in the room. Everyone but Yelena tries to read between the lines. Everyone thinks they understand, but no one is brave enough to ask out right.
Just then, Tony walks into the room with his usual post party pep. Two steps into the room and he can feel the weird energy in the room. “Woah,” he exclaims as he goes to pour himself a cup of coffee, “what’s going on in here?”
Truthfully, none of them freaking know.
Bucky is the one to finally answer him, “Y/n came home with Nat and Wanda last night-“
“Oh good!” the billionaire turns with a smile, “we’re telling people now!”
Everyone turns to Tony, even Wanda and Natasha’s jaws drop in shock.
“Wait,” Wanda breaks out of her shocked state first, “you knew?!?!”
Tony looks at her like she asked him if the sky is blue. “That you two and Y/n are an item?” he asks, “yeah, just because we weren’t here those two months doesn’t mean the security cameras weren’t. Thank god you're finally public, you three are not as sneaky as you think you are."
Everyone looks back to the red heads. Nat’s cool composure remains collected as ever, while Wanda’s cheeks turn a deep shade of red.
Tony shrugs playfully, “for what its worth, you make a very cute couple. Wait, not couple-“ He thinks for a moment, “what is a three person couple?”
“Threesom-“ the word barely makes its way out of Kate’s mouth, before Nat fixes her with a glare that has her shrinking in her seat.
Stark continues to think out loud, “not a couple, a trio? That sounds lame. Couple… couple… three person couple…”
“A throuple?” Peter asks quietly.
Tony sends Peter a thumbs-up, “throuple, I like it.” He fully takes in the room, and notices the topic of discussion is missing. “Speaking of, where is your lucky number three?”
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Nat sighs, “we haven’t seen her since I left for my run this morning.”
“Have you asked Friday?”
Silence is enough of an answer for Tony. He looks up with a smug smile on his face, “Friday?”
“Yes Mr Stark?” the robotic voice echoes through the room.
“Where is Y/n right now?”
There is a breath of silence while the AI searches for the answer. “Agent Y/L/N left the compound in an unmarked SHIELD vehicle forty five minutes ago.”
Your girlfriends lock eyes as worry twists in their stomachs.
Where would you go? Why would you leave without saying goodbye?
~Does she know that we bleed the same?~
From the backseat of an unmarked transport car, you look over the file in your lap. When you entered Fury’s office for an unknown reason, you weren’t sure what to expect. But the last thing you would have suspected is to be thrown into an undercover mission effective immediately.
This never happens. Well, never is a bit extreme, but its rare enough that you have never known to worry about it. You had never thought to say goodbye before you enter the meeting. 9 times out of 10, they give you at least an hour to prepare. They typically give everyone time to say goodbye to loved ones (if you had any) before being shipped off to who knows where.
Unfortunately, they believe you to be single, with no family left to notify of an extended absence. They didn’t know that you had two very important people you needed to see, hug, kiss. Another consequence of this damn secret you’ve been living for so long.
Your hand finds the piece of jewelry hidden under your shirt. Your fingers trace the shape of the rings, pressing them against your sternum.
Maria Hill sits in the back seat next to you. You try your best to listen as she quickly relays as much mission prep as she can in the 40 minute drive across town.
It’s a pretty involved undercover mission from what you gather. One of the city’s most notorious organized crime rings seems to be rapidly growing in numbers and strength. Your informant says that there has been a recent shift in leadership. The increase in activity directly correlates the rise of the new boss.
Your job is to go undercover, pose as a supplier for the group. Build trust, rapport and learn the agenda of this new crime boss.
Your partner on this mission is already in place preparing for the shipment drop off that will give you a way in to the group.
Flipping to the next page of the report, you find the key information of the organization you are infiltrating.
They call themselves The Tracksuit Mafia.
In your opinion, they look like they belong in a intermural basketball league for seniors.
“… here we are.” Maria’s voice pulls you out of your concentration on the file. She nods her head in the direction behind you.
The car pulls up to what looks like an abandoned office building. From the backseat, you take in your surroundings. This is definitely on the rougher side of the city. On the complete opposite side of the city from the compound, crime in this area runs rampant, specifically organized crime. Which makes sense, since that is the objective of your mission.
Before you venture in, you take advantage of the last time you will be face to face with a member of SHIELD.
“Can you do something for me?” you open the file and search for a blank sheet of paper. You write out a quick message. Once finished, you fold the page and hold it out for her to take, “can you give this to Nat or Wanda?”
Curious, she looks between the note and you. She’s waiting for a further explanation, but its a bit too complicated to get into right now.
“Please.”
After a short pause, she nods and takes the folded the paper. She tucks into her pocket.
“Thanks,” you slightly smile in appreciation. Then, you look up the building with a sigh. This is your home for the foreseeable future, “eighth floor?”
Maria nods, “your partner is already up there. He can answer any questions you may have. Anything you may need is already up there. Weapons, clothing, enough food to last about a month, until you are brought in to organization. Biweekly check ins.“ She nods towards the building, “he has all the information regarding that. Any questions?”
“Probably, but I can’t think of any at the moment,” you tuck the file securely into the small bag that had been packed for you. You go to open the door, but Maria’s hand on you shoulder stops you.
“Last thing,” she holds out an empty hand, “you need to turn over your phone.”
You furrow your eyebrows, “why?” You remove your phone from your back pocket.
“No contact, for your own safety,” she takes the phone from your hands, “burners are in the bag. All the necessary numbers are saved under aliases.”
As you watch her tuck your phone into the same pocket as your note, your heart drops. If it wasn’t bad enough that you didn’t say goodbye, now you have no way to speak with Wanda and Nat.
And there’s nothing you can do about it.
“Good luck.”
“Thanks,” you open the door and step onto the sidewalk. With your bag hanging from your shoulder, you enter the building.
As far aesthetics go, the inside is no better than the outside. Most of the fluorescent lights are out. A layer of dust coats a receptionist desk like snow on a roof. You bypass the elevator and go straight for the stairs. In the slim chance that the elevator is still functioning, you still don’t trust it at all.
The stairway echoes with the sound of your footsteps on the metal steps. When you reach the eighth floor, you pause in the middle of a long hallway. The building some how seems much bigger than it looked from the outside. Maybe that’s just a product of the utter lack of people.
Down the hallway to your right, you see light peering from a doorway into the hall. You take two steps towards said door. A movement behind you causes you to freeze and slowly reach for the gun strapped against your waist. You kick yourself for not clearing the building as soon as you came in.
There are two possibilities. This could be your partner making sure you’re an ally or your partner could have been made, leaving you to deal with whoever is behind you.
The unknown person moves again. This time you quickly draw your weapon while you turn. On instinct, you point your weapon, aim focused on the head.
Both of you hold. Getting a real look at each other for the first time since you entered the building.
After realizing who it is, you lower your weapon, and he does as well. Then the identity of your partner really sinks in for you. The person you are going to spend the next couple months with. You curse in your head.
Shit.
~Don't want to cry, but I break that way~
Two hours, almost three.
That’s how long its been since you left the compound without telling anyone. Four hours since you were last seen sleeping next to Wanda. It doesn’t help that you haven’t answered a single call or text.
Wanda paces back and forth in their shared bedroom. She walks from one wall to the other over and over again.
“Lyubov, you need to sit,” Natisha sits on the side of their bed. Her leg bounces as she tries to channel her nervous energy.
“I can’t,” the sokovian counters. “Where did she go? She didn’t even say goodbye. What if something happened to her? We need to be out there looking for her.”
The widow stands from the bed and walks into her girlfriend’s path. She places her hands on the younger woman’s shoulders. “Hey, look at me. She left in a SHIELD owned vehicle,” she tries to soothe. She is just as worried as Wanda is, but she’s trying to keep the situation in perspective. “She walked out willingly. She wasn’t taken or forced. That’s a good sign. Right?” she waits for any confirmation from Wanda.
The witch nods, and Natasha wraps her arms around her.
Wanda sinks into Nat’s embrace with a sigh, “why won’t she answer her phone?”
“There’s most likely a good explanation for it,” she runs her hands up and down her girlfriend’s back, “its too early to assume the worst.”
Knuckles hit the outside of their door three times.
Natasha breaks the hug to answer the door, and Wanda follows close behind. Opening the door, she finds Maria Hill standing in the hallway.
“Hey,” the brunette greets the two. She holds up a small sheet of paper between them, “Y/n asked me to give you this.”
Wanda reaches around Natasha to take the offered paper, “thank you.”
“No problem,” Hill smiles politely before she exits down the hallway she came from.
Wanda walks back into the room unfolding the page as she goes. Nat closes the door and moves to read whatever is on this page.
They both recognize your handwriting. Eyes dance back and forth as they quickly scan every line.
Sent out on a last-minute assignment. I'm so sorry I couldn't say goodbye. There wasn’t a chance to find you. I don’t know all the details. Not sure how long I will be out. I’ll call soon as I can.
I love you
-Y/n
This is that “good explanation” Natasha mentioned. Though it doesn’t really make them feel any better. If its not bad enough that you left out on a mission without saying goodbye, but they have no idea how long it will be before they see you again.
A sadness falls over them. The three of you had just worked through everything that was putting stress on your relationship. All three of you were excited to finally be together without all the strings, but now that has all been paused for an undetermined length of time.
Their hearts drop in defeat.
Part Two
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Chapter 10
Summary: Alex and Casey are called to the precinct where they find Olivia trying to get a little girl to open up.
I feel like this one needs a bit of explaining. I basically mixed episodes 16 and 20 from season 6. Alex got shot and went into witsec (I’ll write that one eventually) she came back because they caught Connors and Casey was attacked because of her relationship to Alex. It will make sense when you read it. I split this chapter into two and will post the second later.
Warnings: usual SVU things
Chapter 10/?
Olivia sat in the dark hospital room, Casey was sleeping, the pain meds having taken her out after Olivia spoke with her. Olivia tried to remain calm and calm Casey when she hadn’t remembered what had happened, knowing it was normal but it still left her deeply unsettled. The last few weeks, scratch that the last few months had been a complete shit show. All of it starting the night Alex died; well, she wasn’t dead, but only Olivia and Elliot knew that. They had promised Alex and the Marshalls they wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Casey, much to the detective's surprise as the marshals had insisted that it was to keep Casey and Niki safe. Alex had asked them, practically begged them, to look over her family, to take care of Casey, to not let her fall apart, and not let anything happen to her or to Niki. Of course, they had promised, and they had kept said promise, watching over them after Alex was gone.
Now Olivia looked at the beaten redhead in front of her and couldn't help but feel like she had broken that promise. She was so deep in thought she didn't notice the door opening and closing until a gasp followed by a broken sob broke the silence. Olivia turned her head so fast she almost got whiplash.
“Alex?” she whispered, unable to contain the shocked tone at seeing the blonde again.
Alex walked towards the bed, her eyes never leaving Casey. She reached out carefully, running the back of her hand over Casey's bruised cheek. Olivia watched as Alex's eyes flooded with tears until a few fell out. A minute must have passed, Olivia's mind still trying to comprehend how Alex was in front of her until Alex quite literally stood in front of her, anger running through her. “How could you let this happen?” she demanded, her voice breaking with emotion. “You promised me you were going to take care of her,” she took a deep breath, and Olivia could tell she was trying to compose herself.
Olivia ignored the questions and instead fired one of her own. “How are you here?”
Alex looked towards the door that was now blocked by what Olivia assumed were a couple of marshals. “One of the marshals let it slip that an ADA had been attacked, so Hammond told me what happened, and after that, he sure as hell wasn’t going to stop me from coming. Now answer me, what happened?” She was using the voice she reserved for when she dealt with criminals, and if Olivia didn't already understand why everyone was so intimidated by her, she sure as hell did now.
Olivia sighed, knowing there was really no beating around the bush now. “We’ve been dealing with four murders, the bullets matched your open homicide. Donnelly pulled Casey out of it the moment we figured out that whoever killed them also tried to kill you. We weren’t allowed to tell her, but you know how she is, she went digging and found out.” The squad had no idea how Casey had figured it out, but a day after they told her she couldn't keep on with the case, she had stormed into the precinct pissed at all of them for not telling her that they were looking into Alex’s murder.
Olivia sighed and continued when she saw Alex was waiting for her to go on. “Alex, she's been in really rough shape, and I guess she just lost it. She went into court the day of arraignment and started screaming at Connors until we got her out of the room. Thankfully, it was Judge Preston, and she let it slide. We tried to calm her down, but she screamed at us to leave her alone and went home after.”
Alex rubbed her hand over her face a couple of times. She knew Casey was going to fall apart; hell, if the roles were reversed, she would’ve lost her mind. “So how did she end up here?”
Olivia knew it was all still an ongoing investigation and they were still trying to piece everything together, but she also knew that she wasn’t going to be able to keep much from Alex. “We knew she had made herself a target the moment she stormed into that courtroom and screamed about him killing her wife. When the prosecution decided to charge Connors with your murder to be able to hold him, they must have figured that they could go after her to try to scare the DA’s office off the charges. I stayed with her because she insisted she needed to look into Connors while Elliot went to get Niki. I stepped out to get us coffee for five minutes, Alex, and when I came back, she was-”
Alex interrupted her, trying her hardest to not raise her voice and wake Casey up. “How could you leave her alone knowing she had a target on her back, Olivia?” She was fuming and pacing the room; it would do her no good to startle Casey, all things considered.
“Alex, we were in the DA’s office, in her office. There was no safer place for her to be,” Olivia reached out, trying to comfort her, but was quickly pushed back by the blonde.
Alex shook her head, her anger palpable. “Well, that clearly isn’t fucking true, look at her!” a sob bubbled up in her chest and broke free before she could stop it, Olivia taking the chance to try again, this time successfully wrapping Alex in a hug.
"Hey, shh," Olivia murmured, tightening her hold on Alex knowing the pressure would help ground her. "She's going to be okay."
Olivia kept holding her tightly, slowly rocking them back and forth. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what was going through Alex’s head. She felt her let out a shaky breath against her shoulder before she spoke again. “What did the doctors say?”
Olivia pulled back slightly, still holding Alex close to try to keep her calm. “She’s got a concussion, bruising, and a couple of broken ribs. They were worried about internal bleeding, but they cleared that. She doesn't remember the attack yet.”
“He didn’t…did he?” Alex asked her, and Olivia didn’t even need her to specify because she’s been working this job long enough to know what Alex meant.
She gave Alex another squeeze. “No, honey, I talked to the nurses, and it was cleared,” she reassured her, giving her a small kiss on the side of her head.
Olivia could see the relief flood Alex’s features. “Thank God,” another wave of sobs made their way through the silence in the room, and Olivia would be lying if she said it didn’t freak her out slightly to see Alex so distraught. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen her cry that much, and it was breaking her heart.
“Liv, how am I supposed to explain this? She thinks I’m dead; my daughter thinks I’m dead,” this subject was one that had kept Alex awake for so many nights in the past months. Her anxiety at an all-time high over how her wife and child would react to finding out she was alive. She knew that she was in an impossible situation and that Casey might even hate her for this. This definitely wasn’t how she had wanted to come back, adding to the pain and trauma, both physical and psychological, that her wife was dealing with by having her come back to life wasn’t ideal, but Alex couldn’t stay away. She just hoped Casey would understand.
“There was nothing you could do, Alex, you had to protect them,” Olivia rubbed her back, trying to keep Alex from getting more distressed.
Alex let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, look at how well that turned out,” she pulled back from Olivia’s arms, wiping her hands below her eyes to get rid of the last of her tears, taking a deep breath, and schooling her features. “I want him charged with my attempted murder and her assault.”
Olivia’s brow furrowed with concern at the implication of Alex’s words. “Honey, that would mean you’d have to leave witness protection,” she tried to reason, not sure it was the best idea considering what was happening. “We already have him for the four murders.”
Alex shook her head and started to pace the room once more. “I don’t care, if I can help get him convicted, I may have a shot at staying. Besides, if they find out I’m alive, it will only fuel the defense to push for perjury charges.”
“Alright, I’ll talk to Abbie, see what she thinks,” Olivia nodded, already trying to figure out how she was going to tell Abbie that Alex was alive and that they had perjured themselves when they arrested Connors.
The mention of Abbie Carmichael seemed to catch Alex off guard; they hadn’t seen each other for so long she wasn’t even sure Abbie was still in New York. “Carmichael is back?”
A faint smile tugged at Olivia’s face at Alex’s disbelief. “You really think Donnelly was going to let a random ADA handle this? You two are like family to her; she basically speed-dialed Abbie when Casey was taken off the case.”
Alex paced across the room for a little while, seemingly calmer now that she knew Abbie was the one handling the case. She finally pulled up a chair and sat next to Casey, very gently holding her hand, careful not to disturb the cables and wires that ran around her.
“How has she been doing? How’s Niki?” Alex's voice was soft, mindful that she was now closer to Casey, her eyes never leaving her as she asked Olivia for updates on her girls.
Olivia took a moment to gather her thoughts before responding, searching for a way she could tell Alex things that she was sure were only going to break her further. “Niki has been quiet. I don’t think she fully understood what was happening. She has lashed out at Casey a few times, but after, she just seems to go back into herself. After the funeral, she kept asking Casey when you were coming back. We’ve been taking turns taking care of her, making sure she’s with one of us whenever Casey is working.”
A heavy silence hung in the air as Alex absorbed the news, her expression a mixture of sadness and guilt. She knew the toll her death was going to take, and yet, she couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness that was trying to consume her, the nagging thought that she had failed them in some irreparable way.
“Casey, she's not doing great.” Her voice was soft, as if it was aware of how easily it could cut through Alex. “I'm going to be brutally honest with you; if it wasn’t for Niki, I don't think she would be here. Donnelly gave her a month's leave, and she was just going through the motions for Niki. She was almost catatonic during that time, and now she just throws herself into cases until she’s almost drowning in them.”
The weight of Alex's guilt seemed to multiply the more Olivia spoke as she grappled with the enormity of the situation and how much her wife had suffered because of her. “This is a whole fucking mess; what am I supposed to do?” she exclaimed, the frustration at being in this situation clear in her voice.
Olivia reached out, her hand coming to rest on Alex's shoulder in a gesture of comfort. “You tell her the truth, tell her it was the only way to keep them safe and that you didn’t have a choice. She’ll understand.”
Alex's frustration boiled over, her anger directed inward as she berated herself for the decisions that had led them to this point. "I hate Hammond, I hate Connors, fuck, I hate myself for not listening and dropping the case," she confessed, thinking about how Casey had supported her as she kept working the case but practically begged her the night they blew up the car and the agent with it to let someone else handle it. She was too stubborn and too determined to listen, and that set all of this in motion.
“You were just doing your job, Alex,” Olivia tried to reassure her, seemingly aware of how much Alex was berating herself in that moment.
“Yeah, and it cost me nearly eight months of my life with my wife and our daughter,” Alex whispered, defeated by the weight of regret that had clung to her since the night she had to leave.
Olivia didn’t have an answer for that; she could only imagine how hard all of this was for them. When Casey shifted a little in her sleep, she got Alex’s attention again, knowing the redhead was going to wake up soon. “Do you want me to stay or do you want to be alone with her?”
Alex shook her head and rubbed her thumb over Casey’s hand. “Please stay; I don’t know how she’s going to react to seeing her wife back from the dead.”
Olivia pulled up another chair and settled in beside Alex, wrapping one of her arms around Alex and letting her lean her head against her shoulder. “Okay, honey, I’ll stay.”
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