#also it’s not that good of a movie imo. way too much cgi and there’s not enough content in the hobbit for 9 hours of movie

[southislandwren]

Oops the fam watched desolation of Smaug today and they waited until I got home to watch and I ended up sleeping through the entire thing :/

#in my defense. I worked a very busy market today after a very busy week and I’m exhausted #also it’s not that good of a movie imo. way too much cgi and there’s not enough content in the hobbit for 9 hours of movie #and I fell asleep on the couch and was there peacefully until the 6yo decided that I should wake up #so he started yelling my name and blowing raspberries. and I was already fed up from the 8yo loudly slurping on a ring pop. so I just left #these kids will learn one way or another that my patience is very thin and I will remove myself from any situation. #I want to enjoy my summer with them and bond and have a great time but I’m an introvert and I don’t really love kids #so I’m always on the edge of losing my cool with them #I’ve only snapped once and it was definitely a learning moment for them. which is a pretty good record bc I usually snap way more often #anyway. I took a 3 hour nap and now everyone is in bed but I’ll be up for a while and I’ll probably get hungry at some point #my whole sleep schedule is wrecked and I can’t fix it because when I need a nap I reeeally need to nap. #diary post #I want it to be Monday so I can see my boss again she’s like the light of my life rn #but I will gladly welcome a day off to just play video games and chill #(and not play with the kids. I will be sitting peacefully all day tomorrow)

[rei-does-stuff]

Watched new the little mermaid movie and I have a LOT of thought! Enough for a whole post!!

Little mermaid thoughts LETS GOOOO

-I LOVED IT FIRSTLY but I do have a few nitpicks

-Firstly I don’t like the cgi animals, they look bad, I get they don’t wanna do the cartoony look for all the fish, but I feel like at least for flounder they should’ve so we could’ve connected to him more, Sebastian was fine, so was scuttle but flounder really got the short end of the stick

-The lighting wasn’t that bad, sure there was some scenes that maybe should have been a tad brighter but it really wasn’t as bad as everyone was saying

-Hailey Bailey singing is INCREDIBLE, I was worried that she would be able to sing well, but not be able to sing in CHARACTER, but goddamnit she KILLS it man! You can really FEEL her emotions and she does so well

-ALSO SHES SO PRETTY???? LIKE OMG???

-Sebastian and King Triton don’t really have as much of a friendly dynamic as I’d like, King -Triton especially doesn’t seem as friendly towards him compared to the original, so Sebastian’s quips seem like ACTUAL complaining instead of something more innocent yk??

-Also because they cut out the song where the daughters sing and Ariel is missing we don’t really get that Sebastian is a conductor/composer so his part during ‘kiss the girl’ doesn’t flow as well imo, bc like how would he know this? He doesn’t know anything about music

-They don’t introduce Eric’s statue, so it’s appearance later on doesn’t make sense unless you’ve watched the original, something I don’t really like about disney remakes

-And Ariel finds it BEFORE under the sea, which brings two issues, one is that the statue is supposed to be a gift from flounder TO Ariel, which strengthens their relationship, and two it makes her leaving at the end of under the sea make no sense, since she left TO see the statue

-OH AND UNDER THE SEA WAS AMAZING, I love how they did their own thing instead of copying the og, makes it way more memorable and it looked rlly good!!!

-ALSO ARIEL JOINING IN ON IT WAS GREAT!!!

-OH, and whilst part of your world was amazing, I feel like Sebastian should have seen it. Since he wasn’t there, he doesn’t know much about Ariel’s motive and her desire for going to the surface, they didn’t have to add all the slapstick that was in the original but just having him there instead of him come after would strengthen their relationship a lot more, especially to those who haven’t seen the original

-I like them setting up how Eric and Ariel are two sides or the same coin, both wanting more from their lives and wanting what they can’t have

-when Eric goes to save Max, I think the original does it better, him jumping from the boat and going BACK onto the ship shows his compassion than him about to leave the ship but going back for max

-When Eric sees Ariel with his blurred vision I feel like it was a bit TOO blurry, in the original the og Ariel had this ethereal aura to her from his vision that added to his whole fantasy of her, that the remake doesn’t really capture due to how blurry it was

-When King Triton destroying all of Ariel’s things was good, not as powerful as the original but still amazing, but one nitpick I have is that Triton tells her “never leave again” and doesn’t LOOK at her. In the original he doesn’t say anything, but does look at her crying and you can see the guilt in his eyes.

-Also, the whole, “your mom was killed by humans thats why i forbid you going there” feels a bit??? Unnecessary?? Idk how to describe it, I think because the original had this sort of queer undertone in it, like the original fairytale had, and I feel like the line is removing that a bit?? The whole humans are barbarians thing feels unnecessary too. I feel if they just stuck with the whole “you’re a mermaid he’s a human” thing would’ve been better, no need to over complicate things yk?? Also it gave said human-mermaid line less power imo

-Flotsam and Jetsam aren’t really in the movie, they don’t tell Ariel about Ursula, which is double edge sword I’ll explain later, but them not being in presence makes the ‘kiss the girl’ scene and them dying and Ursula being pissed about it less powerful imo

-How the double edge sword thing does come with a good side, of course, Ursula being the one to tell Ariel gives her more manipulative side strength, and it adds to Ariel’s trust of Ursula, her being related to her adds to that as well, you understand WHY she doesn’t immediately leave yk??

-NOW URSULA’S MAKEUP, im gonna say it, it’s bad, they didn’t go far enough with the drag queen look and it really hinders it imo, she just looks boring and not menacing at all which sucks because the actress really gives it her all

-POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS, it’s an amazing song of course, but they do change the lyrics to be less about Eric which makes more sense for this movie so I won’t fault it for that

-They did remove the ‘BODY LANGUAGE’ lyric tho so points off,

-And the song is a lot shorter, which isnt good considering PUS was originally a 5 minute song cut to 3 minutes THEN NOW cut to 2, hinders it a lot I feel

-I LOVE THE VISUALS THO, love them doing their own thing and I love how glowy Ursula’s tentacles are, I do wish they kept the lil hologram thing from the original, could’ve added a whole lot to it!

-Them replacing Ursula’s henchmen forcible shutting Sebastian and flounder from telling Ariel to not trust Ursula to just flounder shushing Sebastian isn’t great, makes Ursula less scary imo

-They removed the scroll, and replaced it with her putting her scale in with blood, more intense which I like and removes the question of “if she could sign the scroll then why couldnt she write to Eric” thing the original had

-The transformation sequel isn’t as flashy as the og, the imagery of her tail splitting in two and forming legs was iconic,

-Also Sebastian and flounder not helping her to the surface is something I didn’t like, hinders their relationship

-The whole ‘Forgetting she has to kiss Eric’ thing felt unnecessary? I don’t think the original had it but I could be misremembering

-At first I didn’t like Ariel not immediately meeting Eric but I grew to like it ngl, her seeing the town was really good, and her song is also neat!

-The moment she realizes she cant talk is GOLDEN

-Her bonding with Eric in the little trinket area was SUCH a nice addition, it really strengthens their bond together

-Also the “my little mermaid” thing ADORABLE

-OH OH ALSO, eric and ariel have such autism energy I love it sooo much

-Them going on the town was SOOOO cute, I love them so muchhhhhh, and the dress Ariel wears is really cute, I do wish she had more things to wear it’s really just one outfit and her wedding gown which isn’t that different from her regular outfit, in comparison to the og which had her in a lotta outfits, especially with how pretty hailey bailey is?? She would’ve killed it!!

-OH ERICS SONG IS SO GOOD??? I wasn’t expecting to like it so much but the way it mirrors part of your world is SO good????? And his voice????? Incredible

-Oh i love Sebastian and scuttles friendship it’s really sweet

-also scuttles song wasn’t that annoying?? Idk it was cute and fun and Sebastian joining in was cute!

-They cut out the Poor unfortunate souls reprise which Is a huge let down I really liked it!!!! They use the music for it but she doesn’t SING!!!!

-Vanessa is SO pretty??? Exactly like the og too!!

-I feel like Eric being under control should’ve been hammered in more though, the subtle vibes doesn’t work as well for it imo

-Ariel being the one to stab Ursula wasn’t a good choice imo, the of gave Eric more character, and it would work even better in this movie since theyre so similar. She saved him and now he gets to save her yk?

-Also killing Ursula didnt look that great, you couldnt even tell she was stabbed it had no punch

-When Ursula takes Ariel away she doesn’t say anything to Eric like in the original she just leaves, which is a bit disappointed, they do a lotta things that rob Ursula of her iconic personality

-I think we should’ve seen Ariel get back her legs like in the movie, cutting that I feel like, loses a lot, especially with the bond with her father

-No 80s dress, sad.

-I think that’s everything????? I’m rewatching the original movie tomorrow so I’m sure I’ll have a few more things to add, especially when the 2023 movie goes onto disney plus

-Overall the movie was really good, Haliey Baliey stole the show and the visuals were really nice, special shoutouts to the visuals for Ursula’s tentacles, triton’s triton and the scenes for kiss the girl and under the sea, VERY pretty,

-All the voice actors were great ngl,

-The movie didn’t feel too long either, the stuff they added was good and moved along nicely, didn’t even feel like 2 hours yk???

#rei says stuff #long post #the little mermaid #the little mermaid 1989 #the little mermaid 2023 #tlm 1989 #tlm 2023 #the little mermaid live action #little mermaid #little mermaid 1989 #little mermaid 2023 #little mermaid live action #tlm live action

[3-inch-sam]

the only thing i know about tron comes from that south park episode so i just wanted to ask, whats tron about and should i watch it?? (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

first of all this is hilarious because literally two days ago my brother sent me the article on Moses and we both discovered he was modeled after the MCP

Whether you should watch it is up to you! It's one of my special interests so I recommend it to basically everyone. If for nothing else, TRON 1982 is a work of pure art and passion and contributed a lot to film as an industry and how we handle CGI and VFX now.

It's about "what if the programs in your computer were actually people running around in there and they had their own little world?" and "All information should be free!!" This comes from the time when computers were just being integrated into everyday life so they were a little more newfangled and weird.

but to me it's also about "what if you met God and they were just like you. what if God was unaware of their own power. if your world started to collapse around you, what would you do? would you wait for the end? would you try to kill God for refusing to help you?"

If you want to get into it, start with the movies: TRON (1982) and Tron Legacy (2010). Then I'd suggest Tron Uprising, and if you want further lore you can go for the comics and games. Here's a way too comprehensive list of all the Tron stuff I have experience with!!

All Tron soundtracks are absolute bangers btw

Blue: canon to the current timeline

Green: non-canon to current timeline

in chronological order, we have

TRON (1982)- the original movie, establishing our world, characters, and themes.

Tron 2.0 (2003)- FPS sequel to the movie, following the son of two of the original protagonists of 1982. (this one kicked off my special interest! i played it during the first quarantine and it was all downhill from there)

Tron 2.0: Ghost in the Machine- a spinoff comic of 2.0. It's very strange and off putting at times, especially the art style after the second issue.

Tron: Evolution- the prequel game to Legacy, which takes place in November of 1989 and follows a brand new security program on the new Grid.

Tron: BETRAYAL- the prequel comic to Legacy, which gives some (imo) much needed context to character motivations.

Tron Uprising (2012-2013)- the prequel cartoon series to Legacy, follows a mechanic program. It's widely regarded as one of the most painful parts of the Tron universe because the series was never finished. It was cancelled during airing and the season finale never aired. It only has a single incomplete season, even though the story and animation were fantastic.

Tron Legacy (2010)- the sequel movie to 1982, which follows the son of the main protagonist of 1982.

Tron: Identity- the newly-released visual novel game that takes place in a separate Grid as Legacy, but the same timeline. It's pretty good!! Introduced the first non-binary character in Tron.

This is already way too long so I'll cap it there. thank you for the ask!!!

#tron #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I LOVE TALKING WAY TOO IN DEPTH ABOUT TRON HEHEHE #tobisoundx3 #Tron meta

[as-i-watch]

in my opinion i think the opla did a very good job of trying to emulate the one piece manga and anime, but there’s a part of the anime that they can’t really convey through the live action. like… i think that the cartooniness of one piece, as well as the occasional emotional moments is what makes one piece one piece, but while the opla was able to get some of it, being a live action, it wasn’t able to convey all of it

it’s still wonderful, and i love it, but i like to compare it to the percy jackson movies. good live actions in their own right (still think opla did it WAY better) but compared to the original, it falls short (percy jackson a lot, opla a tiny bit)

i think the main issue for me is the characterisation. inaki did a very good luffy, but you can clearly see how it’s so inaki luffy instead of luffy luffy. still good, but still different

and i think mackenyu did zoro well, but in my opinion, it doesn’t fit him very well. zoro (while i still love him) isn’t as pretty as mackenyu is. mackenyu is too much of a pretty boy

i actually remember hearing in an interview that mackenyu grew up with anime, and of course one piece. i think he emulates zoro extremely well, and he tries his best to make it anime accurate, but he as a person just doesn't fit perfectly, the vibes are kinda off. still absolutely in love with him though

i think that it shouldn't have skipped so many parts of the original, but of course, it completely makes sense why they did

anyways, like i said, i think that if you don't compare them to each other, it's very good, and i do love how they did it (i'm also so happy that so many people loved the live action that they're actually starting to watch the anime!!)

I just finished episode 3 but i totally agree

My biggest fear when the adaptstion was announced was precisely that, bc one piece is so one of a kind, it can make you smile, it can make you sad, you cry tears of joy and of pain, and the anime takes the time to develope the charecters, the stories and the world, so sometimes the emotions are conveyed in such a subtle but effective way bc they took the time to make sure it did. Not to mention the tone and aesthetic. There's a lot that was gonna be difficult to translate to live action

That said, so far i think they did it great! I think they found a certain balance between the cartoonish and the 'real world' lets call it, and they took advantage very cleverly of cgi and practical effects to achive that too.

I agree the thing that perhaps lacks for me too is the charecters and also the pasing imo. But again, it was impossible to fit the storytelling way of the famously 'too long' anime in a 8 episodes per series format.

I too think Luffy feels the most different, i already talked a bit about that and i think it was just the result of it being a western production plus the complex charecter Luffy is. But Iñaki put so much love into his Luffy, you can feel it, its endearing

I dont have a problem with Mackenyu's Zoro funny enough. Sure, i miss how silly anime Zoro can be (but again, the tone thing) and they tried to make it too purposefully imo. Zoro is not edgy. He is badass and a maniac but he doesnt want to wear only black or cares about pressenting an "attitude". But there's a ray of hope for me (i havent finish the show so it might change my mind), the biggest stupid ass smile when he said he'd cut Helmepo's hair. He can be silly and less serious, so i hope i get to see more of that as he feels more comfortable in the crew.

Nami i like, im waiting for the Arlong park arc to make up my mind bc thats where her true colors shine either way. Really liking her dynamic with Luffy so far tho

Havent seen Sanji yet

And Usopp, i just met him and this might sound mean but this Usopp is too cool. Kinda like what you said for Zoro. I think this Usopp has more confidence in himself than anime/manga Usopp did back then and he is not that much of a coward. The coward part is important bc every time he stood up to fight it meant so much more. But again, is early for me to make up my mind this is just first impressions

But like you said, this is just bc of the comparison, on its own i think they are all doing amazing jobs and, so far for me, the writers managed to pull off something that to me was next to impossible and in a great way too.

Im curious to see how someone that hasnt watched the anime reacts to the mixed tone of live action meets silly cartoonish vibes, i hope its not too of context for a first time watcher

#oof that got long #sorry #ask #ask: opla

[destiny-smasher]

Stuff From 2023!

List of things of note I experienced in 2023! A few things didn't technically release in 2023, I'm sure, but yea. Will contain my 'Top 10 Games I Played in 2023' as well.

Firstly, something I played a lot of this year in bursts but doesn't quite crack my Top 10 is Vampire Survivors. Very addicting, did some very fun goofy shit that had me laughing and engaged in a lizard brain way. Appreciated the many Castlevania references and jokes, too.

A couple of games I played every weekend for a few hours across many weeks this year were Project Zomboid and Roots of Pacha, both in a group 4. We had lots of fun with those two, and I think they're both great co-op time-sink games. Zomboid is a zombie survival sim that has way more attention to detail than its graphics may imply. It's still in early access but the depth to its is honestly pretty dang impressive. Pacha iterates on the Stardew Valley formula in a ton of small but deliberate, thoughtful ways that make for a nice twist on that Harvest Moon style game.

REMAKES

There were so many great remakes this year, on top of just amazing games in general, I can't fit them all into my Top 10. So here's a segment dedicated to most of the remakes I loved this year.

The remake of Super Mario RPG was such a surprise, and turned out very damn well. That game, turns out, is very near and dear to my heart and I did not fully appreciate that until this remake was revealed. It comes just shy of cracking my Top 10 list and that's honestly only because I finished Mother 3 finally right at the tail end of the year. This game manages to still feel weirdly fresh even today just due to how fucking strange it is, and the remake speeds up the pacing a bit while also adding in some new mechanics and a chunk of new post-game content. Everything was handled so well. This is like the new gold standard of complete one-to-one remakes of sprite-based games imo. I will admit the artstyle is a bit 'off' in some ways but I think it's very clean looking and captures that 90's CGI spirit really well, all things considered. And the music, OOF, so damn good.

The remake of Dead Space I don't have much to talk about, but it's very well produced. It's remade so well, in fact, that it felt like my memories of the original, even though I know it's not an exact recreation. Very well done and still holds up as a great horror action game with these improvements.

The remaster of Metroid Prime is so impressive it feels like a remake, even if the game is identical to the original aside from presentation and some control changes. It's an iconic classic, and yet I have no patience to do the Chozo Artifact stuff, so I actually did not roll credits on this version BUT still thoroughly enjoyed reliving the game with a very nice new coat of paint. It makes me excited to see what Prime 4 will look like on, I expect, more powerful hardware.

SHOWS/MOVIES

The year started strong with a TV adaptation of The Last of Us. While I've come to have conflicted feelings with the franchise at large, mainly due to its leading boss man, I thoroughly enjoyed the first season of this series. Very well done adaptation that picked and chose what to keep and what to change and honestly makes for a better story as a whole if you ask me, while not really replacing the game's tactile interactive tensions. Cannot wait to see what they do with Part 2 tbqh. I loved that game more than the original but also felt it was worse as an overall game/experience/narrative. But a fresh take on that same plot could potentially address a lot of the issues I had with Part 2, while simultaneously not really 'replacing' it, either.

The Bear. If you haven't seen it, it's just. Very good television. Two seasons in and it's sitting up there chasing Mr. Robot and Better Call Saul as one of the best live action series I've ever seen. Season 2 did such a great job of giving us deeper dives on the various characters and building toward an organic and rewarding conclusion that still leaves room for another season to theoretically wrap things up. Nothing too crazy with this show, it's super down to earth, and it owns that very well with editing and pacing that varies per episode, kind of in line with the different character perspectives.

Super Mario Bros.: The Movie had me worried for a while, mainly due to the animation studio and casting. And while I'm still not 100% sold on this celebrity casting, I will admit it didn't weight the experience down -- even if it's still the second weakest element by far. The weakest element is the writing. It's not, like, offense -- it's loyal to the source material and works, it functions. But it's not doing anything beyond pushing us from set piece to set piece. If anything, the movie is a bit too short for all of the stuff it's cramming in. But on the upside, there is a lot of amazingly rendered visuals and music to take in. A real treat for fans of the franchise, and the most loyal gaming adaptation in movie form, I would say.

Across the Spiderverse is in essence the first half of a two part film. That makes it kind of difficult to talk about, especially when it's also a sequel, and the production sounds like it was marred with bad management and crunch. But the results they came up with actually met my hopes and expectations for a sequel, and that is saying something, as I had very high expectations. I completely adore this film's stupendous sense of style, editing, framing, writing, and the way it's making meta-commentary on multiple levels on top of just being an effective narrative on its own. This is animated storytelling running at full capacity in my opinion, and in general just film doing all of the kinds of things film can do. So it's no wonder that there's still a rub -- this is the first half of the story they planned. The editing, animation, framing, effects, acting, action sequences, music, writing, theming, just Farore's sake, this is SUCH a damn banger of a film and one of the best movies I've ever seen, which, again, is kind of insane given the circumstances. I can only hope they don't fuck up the conclusion.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was quite the surprise announcement, and as it turns out, quite the surprise adaptation. I won't spoil much but I will say that by the end of the first episode, it becomes very apparent that this series is no mere by-the-books adaptation, and does something unique and edifying, even if it still maintains a certain surface-level depth I wish the franchise would push beyond. Either way, I enjoyed it way more than I expected to going in, and I think it makes for a great companion to the rest of the series. The animation style was super fun, as well, with some great action sequences.

But Blue Eye Samurai sucker-punched me, having released before I'd even known about it. This show is something else, something unlike any other animated show I've seen besides Arcane. And it's not like it's mimicking Arcane, it's just the closest I can think to compare it to: a quality, thoughtfully framed, thoughtfully written, made-for-adults animated series. It tows the line between fantasy and realism in a refreshing way, its protagonist is great, its cast is compelling, its plot goes to some neat places, and things just feel very well thought-out and well-executed. Slap this in second place behind Arcane as the TV series I am the most excited to see more of in the future, just ahead of The Bear.

Something I did near the end of the year was watch The Hunger Games movies, back to back over the course of like, a week. Have not read the books but man, watching these sure made me interested in doing so at some point. I totally get why people were so enamored with this franchise, and honestly, I think its themes and messages are more relevant now than they were when this franchise was at the peak of its popularity. The films certainly have glaring issues for my tastes but yea, I managed to really enjoy them as a whole despite my lack of mainstream sensibilities. Looking forward to reading the books eventually.

Another thing my wife shared with me was 花ざかりの君たちへ (often called 'Hana-Kimi' for short). Specifically, the 2007 version, as, uh, apparently there are multiple adaptations of this. It was a live action Japanese drama about a high schooler who was born female but transfers into an all-boys school, identifying as a boy while she is there. There's more to it than that, and I won't say it handles everything the best (it's from the mid 2000's) or concludes things in quite the way I'd have preferred. Not to mention it's kind of weird seeing many tropes I'm used to seeing in anime rendered by physical, real actors. BUT it was overall a really sweet, adorable, funny, heartfelt, and reached for pro-queer expression in a time and place when that wasn't mainstream yet (and honestly kinda still isn't depending on who you ask).

Good Omens Season 3 also dropped this year. I actually don't have much to say partly because I think a big element of it is just not knowing what to expect going into it! But it was also very good, very fun, pretty damn gay, I really enjoyed it and am crossing my fingers hard they get to wrap it up the way they want.

All right! Onto my personal top 10 GOTYs.

TOP 11 GAMES

(I played and finished in 2023)

11) Mother 3

The one entry on this list that did not actually come out this year -- in fact, it's never technically released outside of Japan. Originally release in 2007 on the Game Boy Advance, this quirky RPG has developed quite the reputation. I started playing the fan translation back in like 2020, and only got around to finally finishing it this year. While that likely did tarnish the experience a bit for me, so does the final third or so -- it kind of drags on a bit, and any old school format RPG that requires grinding to progress can become a bit of a chore.

Thankfully, Mother 3 did earn its hallowed reputation in my eyes now that I have experienced it. I totally get the passion for this game now, and I am a convert. It makes me want to finally finish Mother 2, aka Earthbound. But here's the biggest thing about Mother 3 I weirdly did not expect going in, yet smashed my face in like a hammer by the time I finished it:

without Mother 3, there is no way Undertale/deltarune would exist.

The DNA for Toby Fox's works is achingly obvious in its relation to this game, specifically. I won't spoil anything and I won't go into my long list of evidence like an Ace Attorney case, but trust me, there is ample evidence to make this claim.

And that also means that Mother 3 stands on its own merits as doing things that RPGs just plain were not doing in 2007, and in some ways still aren't today. Aside from some pacing issues further in, the characters in your party aren't as developed as much as I'd like. BUT the overall narrative it tells, especially in those opening chapters, have a rare kind of earnest, human magic to them that most games just don't let themselves fall into. And it concludes in ways I did not expect and yet offered clarity as to why it is so beloved, and how Toby Fox was so inspired to put his own mark on the gaming landscape.

I owe a great deal to Undertale, personally, and as such, I also owe a great deal to Mother 3. You don't need to have played others in the series to enjoy it, you'll just be missing some referential stuff here and there. It's quite playable and unique by today's standards and I strongly recommend it if you want an RPG that is heartfelt, funny, fun mechanically, and has some simple but hard-hitting things to say about the world we live in, and what we are doing to ourselves and that world.

10) Super Mario Bros. Wonder

What can be said that hasn't been said already? Nintendo knocked it out the park with this one. This was everything I've wanted in a 2D Mario for like 15 years. The only thing 'missing' from it is playable Rosalina, but hey, we finally got Daisy in a mainline Mario game, so I'll take it. After a decade or so of dragging their feet with low-effort but enjoyable 2D games, Super Mario Wonder finally, at long last, captures what makes Nintendo games great and with their best foot forward. They haven't done 2D Mario this well since World on the SNES in 1991. And they have never put this level of production into a 2D game since... ever?

This is one of the all-time best 2D platformers out there, and for once it finally feels like 2D Mario is running on all cylinders as a big budget passion project kind of game. You love to see it.

9) Scarlet Hollow

This game isn't technically finished yet, as it is episodic, and its developers wanted to release Slay the Princess in the interim, but that doesn't stop its quality from being good enough to make my list. This game is doing the kinds of things visual novels should be doing, the kinds of things I wish to do in a sense with my own visual novel development.

It's a horror themed experience but balances the high tension with actual real stakes very well against mostly down-to-earth conversations, with lots of great tricks and touches of presentation you don't typically see in indie visual novels, along with a fantastic art style, charming characters (my favorite character has turned out to be the one I immediately disliked at first, and that's rare for me), and meaningful choices.

I can't wait to see how this one wraps up but even as it stands it's one of the best things I experienced in 2023.

8) Xenoblade Chronicles: Future Redeemed

I will admit I skipped Xenoblade Chronicles 2 after giving it an honest go in like, 2019 or so. A few hours in and i couldn't stomach it, the tonal whiplash from Xenoblade 1 (one of the best RPGs I've ever played) was too much for me. But then Xenoblade 3 came out last year, and is also one of the best RPGs I've ever played, even better than the original for my tastes.

But I wasn't prepared for the DLC to drop a whole ass side-game on us, a self-contained prequel to 3 that serves as narrative cohesion to tie the whole trilogy together with a bow on top, complete with perfectly tuned fanservice (and not the sexy kind, although grown-up Rex and Shulk, well, yes) that really respects its fanbase for investing hundreds of hours in this franchise.

Matthew is easily one of my all-time fav RPG main characters, probably the favorite RPG main character when I think of it (as main characters specifically go, anyway), and his game is a fraction of the length of many RPGs out there. But as usual, the entire cast had their charms, the story was nicely paced, the gameplay and overall length was just about damn perfect for what I could want from the genre.

As an expansion to a pre-existing game, this is one of the top 3 best expansions/DLCs I've ever played. When taken as a side story to an overarching trilogy, I'm not even 100% in on the lore and I still enjoyed the hell out of it, it's just the kind of thing that hits a tone of 'damn, video games are a fucking unique medium that we can do specific narrative things with across years of telling a story.'

I don't know where Monolith Soft is going next, though the ending certainly offers some intriguing teasing, but I suspect I will be there day one to see it, and am looking forward to it.

7) Pikmin 4

Given the long wait (10 years!) one might understand fan concern over the state of Pikmin 4. Turns out, that extra time was spent making this game fucking good. It's not the largest, most impressive, most complex, most inspiring, most 'anything' game I played this year, and yet I can't help saying that this is a damned good video game. It really nailed what it set out to do as a sequel, incorporating just the right ideas to spice up the formula while bringing things back to how Pikmin 2 was, and improving on the series in basically every way -- including stuff to do!

This is easily the most Pikmin game... in a Pikmin game. I still haven't 100%'d it. Without giving away any details, I'll just say that when a game rolls credits and you're only like, halfway through its content, and it just keeps going, that's just kind of wild. It would've felt like a great game even then, but the breadth and depth it ends up going to in order to keep giving you ways to engage with its wonderfully detailed world and addictive mechanics, I love it.

I just want more of it. Give me DLC with more Dandori content, the formula and feel just works so well at this point.

6) Sea of Stars

How the hell I forgot to include this one on my list initially is boggling. Easily one of the best indie games I've ever experienced. The writing is nothing to, well, write home about, but it's not bad. And in fact the story has a lot of great things going on, from an interesting world to a very potent arc with the leading support character (who, let's face it, is kind of more the main character than your two main characters).

The game's art and music are phenomenal, capturing the essence of 90's era RPGs but clearly doing things not capable back then. Made even sweeter, the game is a prequel to the studio's prior work, The Messenger, which I also played and adored in tandem, kind of going back and forth between the two once I was partway into Sea of Stars. The way this RPG repurposes songs from Messenger as well as all kinds of seemingly superfluous elements but makes it feel cohesive is pretty great.

The game also trims a lot of the fat you'd find in older RPGs, as well as lets you customize your experience in a modern way using collectibles you can toggle on and off to grant all kinds of effects, like increasing or decreasing the difficulty in various ways.

The homage paid to classics like Chrono Trigger and Super Mario RPG is clear but it's not at all copy-cat-ing, instead wearing those inspirations proudly on its sleeves and forging its own path with its own ideas. A fantastic collection of party members, a wonderful world, amazing presentation, and environments and pacing that help it stand apart from the genre that inspired it. I wish we got to know the leads better, there is a lack of character growth in many ways, but that's me grasping at straws to critique, it's just a fantastic experience and the studio should be very proud of what they've accomplished.

5) Hi-Fi Rush

This is gonna be a running trend from here on out, but on any other year, Hi-Fi Rush would've been my GOTY, easy. From this point on, we're talking measures of inches rather than miles in terms of my love for these games.

Hi-Fi Rush finally delivered on something I have waited like 20 years for: a rhythm action adventure where playing the game in sync with the music felt fucking cool and gave me emotional resonance in a way only this medium can. The humor was charmng. The visual aesthetic is almost peak 'my taste.' The music was groovy with a few tracks I did not see coming but loved seeing how they were incorporated. The story was surprisingly fun! The characters were fantastic, I loved the entire main crew in a way I rarely ever do and would jump at the chance to spend more time with (and hey, there's a whole bunch of post-game I have yet to do, so I intend to in 2024).

The only real thing I could reasonably ask for from this game is a way to play as those other party members in post-game content or new-game plus or something. And who knows, maybe we get that some day. Even if we don't, what they came up with here is the next best thing besides. And what we got is one the most video-gamey video games I have ever played, a real classic and one I think will go down as one of my all-time favs. A passion project given meaningful time, budget, and creatives to bring it to life.

Had this game offered multiple playable characters, a bit more development in its story, and maybe a stronger climax, it'd be higher. I still love it to death and want more games like it regardless.

Hi-Fi Rush is exactly what kind of game we could have gotten more of if the Internet hadn't pushed gaming into a 'live service' direction. It is literally the spirit of a PS2/GameCube game given modern form. And either way, we did get it, at least, in that form, and it fucking rocks.

4) Resident Evil 4 (Remake)

This year was big for remakes and remasters, but one stands tall above the rest, if you ask me. The original RE4 has stood as my fav in the franchise, the one that got me into the franchise, the one that got me into M-rated games in the first place. Lots of nostalgia, but it's held up surprisingly well over the years despite some limitations of the time (mainly the controls) and some older-fashioned sensibilities ("with ballistics, too~").

But Capcom fucking nailed it with this reimagining. Like Final Fantasy VII: Remake, this game is not a remaster, or a one-to-one recreation. It is a brand new game, built from the ground up, reimagining the original entirely, complete with new mechanics and story. But unlike with FF7, this is also shockingly authentic and loyal to the original at the same time. It remixes elements from the original game, maintains most of the original's map design, adds in new stuff, removes some of the more goofy shit -- and even 90% of what feels 'removed' is revealed to be repurposed for the Ada side story DLC.

It looks great, it sounds great, the adjustments to characters and story are improvements across the board, (except for Hunnigan, RIP) the gameplay is improved in intensity and feel and action and replayability. And yet despite all of this, it balances that campy tone of the original just enough to still evoke what I loved about the original's tone. And it doesn't outright replace the original game, either. The two are now like different recipes of the same sandwich or something. There's reasons to revisit the original, though for me this has now replaced the remake of RE2 as my fav in the franchise.

I really don't know where they go from here but I will look forward to it, and regardless, they fucking nailed this one.

3) Street Fighter 6

Two Capcom games, back-to-back? They had a fucking good year in my eyes. The interesting thing about this particular entry is that unlike the others on this list, I will be continuing to play this one for hours and hours into 2024, especially with more fighters still planned. And in another year, this would've easily been my GOTY.

After all, Street Fighter 6 is the single-best traditional fighting game I think I've ever played. And while fighting games are my overall personal favorite genre, I'm more of a Smash player who also loves the hell out of Street Fighter and then dabbles in Tekken and whatever else releases. Street Fighter has always been one of my go-to top multiplayer games since I got into the franchise with SF4 in 2010. While I did enjoy SF5 well enough, it just didn't keep me hungry to come back for more like 4 did. SF6 has fixed that problem by way of a multitude of changes.

It has easily the most fun single player mode I've seen any fighting game have. Like, yea, The Subspace Emmisary (and even then, I don't love that mode like other folks do, I kinda think it's... fine?) but tbqh World Tour is just better in most every way. You get to build your own fighter, earn and mix and match different costumes and individual character special moves with each fighter's fight style. You get to just hang out with the SF characters, get to know them as people, their hobbies, their fears, their insecurities, their passions besides just beating the shit out of each other. On top of this, the realistic art style shift (a by-product of the RE Engine) seals the deal on what Street Fighter 6 is aiming to do: humanize its cast.

Is it still wacky as fuck? Is it still comical and weird and goofy? Hell yes, it is. Is the story mode deep in its narrative? Not in the slightest. But it's still stepping confidently in a direction fighting games should be trying to, not being too self-serious, but also being earnest.

And I haven't even touched on the mechanics! The Drive System alone is a brilliant addition that adds a sort of 'stamina' system that works so well to add an extra layer of decision making and tension. The game's not perfectly balance imo but for how much is here it is surprisingly damn well balanced, especially given they have insisted on not pushing out a single balance patch since it launched in June. For most any other competitive game, that would be like suicide for the scene, but the game seems to be thriving and selling extremely well for the franchise. And it's earned it.

I will absolutely be continuing my warrior's journey into 2024 and I can't wait to see what else Capcom has in store for this game.

2) Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Out of every game I played in 2023, Tears of the Kingdom is easily the most technically impressive. From a design standpoint, from a 'how in the hell is the Switch doing all of this without exploding' standpoint. From a 'holy hell how is there this much stuff in a single player game' standpoint. From a 'oh my goddesses that stupid batshit idea I had 100% worked because it actually did make sense' standpoint.

Where Breath of the Wild opened our minds as to what an open world game could be -- fully designed like one giant interconnected 'level' -- Tears of the Kingdom replied in much the way I expected: it pulled a Super Mario Galaxy 2. What I mean by that is that this is a direct sequel, building directly off the foundation of the original. You know. Like video game sequels almost always used to. And which many very successful ones still absolutely do.

But Tears of the Kingdom somehow managed to wow me all over again by adding to that open world's verticality in insane ways -- the Depths alone are probably my favorite 'mechanic' from any Zelda game ever besides the time loop of Majora's Mask (and what that did for the story and gameplay). But beyond the scale of the world basically doubling and then some (floating islands and caves on top of Depths), I was curious how this game could stand tall after Elden Ring, which is easily in my top 10 favorite games of all time at this point. Elden Ring was Fromsoft's reply to BOTW. And yet Tears of the Kingdom still managed to have something new to say in spite of that very strong reply.

Tears of the Kingdom opened the door to let players essentially create their own mechanics. By removing the abilities Link had to engage with the world before, and replacing them with a brand new toolset that includes abilities you just... don't see games give you, because they'd be 'overpowered,' TOTK designs its massive world in ways that invite you to use those 'overpowered' abilities however you see fit.

Being able to interact with the world and objects in this way, being able to fuse them together to create all kinds of effects, or new methods of transportation, even interacting with things not just spacially but in respect to time, it's nuts and fun and I've already poured like 130 hours with still so much I haven't done. And that's the thing: this game wasn't designed to be 100%'d. It was designed to just... be experienced, as much or as little as you want. And games on this level of scale/budget just do not have the guts to let so, so much 'content' be missed out on. And this game does.

It's a technical achievement and while I had my doubts with how strangely little Nintendo had to show, I am very glad that the experience itself manages to breathe new life into one of my all-time favorite games while improving on it in so many ways. It won't convert you if you didn't love the original -- this is a Super Mario Galaxy 2 style sequel, after all. But it's essentially replaced the original in ways I didn't think would be possible.

The story? Oof. Uh, not so much the story, let's ignore that part. That's what Nintendo wants you to usually do, anyway. But everything else, just. Din-damn.

It expands upon the first game's already fairly open-ended nature in an exponential way that I suspect developers will spend years to come trying to pin down, much like how they've spend the past 6 or 7 years trying to replicate BOTW's open world design.

For much of this year, I thought this was personal GOTY. And for many it will be, because it's just an extremely impressive video game.

Number 1...?

Going into this list, I kept telling myself, 'man, on any other year, this would be my GOTY. And if you know me personally you likely have already figured out what my GOTY is by omission. But the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized just how close these top 5 games are, it really is like centimeters instead of inches, and they each -- well, every game I've mentioned here, beyond the Top 10, as well -- offered something edifying that I was very satisfied with.

And no, it's not Baldur's Gate 3. While I have spent hours playing it in co-op and a little bit solo, that game's just not really for me, exactly. Like, I can enjoy it, and I have massive respect for the dev team and what they accomplished with it. But I don't much care for D&D, and the game just didn't do very much for me personally, I lack the motivation to finish it. Remove Karlach from the game and I have next to nothing to really attach myself to, personally. I definitely get why it's many people's favorite game of 2023, though, and I do think it's a bit of a wakeup call for what can be accomplished by just making a GAME instead of struggling to contort it into a service etc.

Street Fighter 6 is fucking fantastic but it could still use some more actual fighters and incentives to keep playing besides monetizing its players in weird ways. I love it, and it will be the game from 2023 I end up playing the most (it already is, I think). But if it ended as it is, I would be very satisfied.

Hi-Fi Rush is oozing with originality and style and I adore it to death, and when I finished it, I was very satisfied.

Resident Evil 4 kept me addicted for over 100 hours, had an amazing DLC expansion, oozes replaybility in the specific ways I like for a single player action game (rogue-likes besides). I am extremely satisfied by it.

Tears of the Kingdom is so massive and fun to just explore that I know I will continue to play more in the months to come. Will I ever revisit it entirely? I'm actually not sure! That massive length does lend some repetition, even if it's the kind I find therapeutic and satisfying.

And that's what made me realize something. My personal GOTY did not just satisfy me. It made me hungry. It filled me up in a way I didn't think was possible and yet I still hunger for more, because I enjoyed it that fucking much. I played through it twice and still hunger for more. I know I will play it a third time eventually, but mainly I just have not been to remove from my brain the particular ways it made me feel, ways that only a video game can. Nothing about it felt like it needed to be overlooked.

SF6 and RE4 had dubious monetization, TOTK had a story I found to be like 90% boring and it still maintains many of the flaws of the original. And Hi-Fi Rush, while amazing, just didn't scratch the particular itch this game did for me.

1) Lies of P

If you told me that Lies of P was a game developed by some sub-division of FromSoft, I'd believe you. Which is to say I would also believe that it was made by people who wanted to break free from some of the shackles of the now infamous 'soulslike' genre.

A narrative that actually makes sense by the end? Opening up options for the player without requiring specific stat levels? Encounters and boss fights that feel ravenously challenging without just feeling like cheap bullshit? Music that crosses borders beyond 'angry chorus, angrier orchestra'?

Lies of P doesn't quite eclipse Elden Ring, but that's an absolutely unfair comparison given the utter scope and scale and variety that game packs. But Lies of P improves at the FromSoft formula in specific ways, while making concessions in others, and as a result it's just an experience that seeped into my brain like no other game this year, not even Tears of the Kingdom, despite that I put half the hours into this one.

I love all of the games I have mentioned here, you could honestly swap around the order of this top 5 and I could mentally meander a way to justify why, no, actually, this one was my favorite game of 2023. In a year so awful for the people who make games, yet so amazing for games themselves, Lies of P is exactly the kind of game I needed. I needed someone to show me that you can make something directly inspired by someone else's work, yet fine tune it in all the right ways to make it stand just as tall in terms of quality and design. Lies of P made me feel things in ways only a handful of games ever do -- and I would actually count Hi-Fi Rush among those in a regard.

But Lies of P also told a story I found compelling. It had mystery, tension, buildup, it started off seeming like it would do the vague FromSoft schtick only to 100% come together, make sense, be rewarding, and offer a 'true ending' that I got on the first playthrough, organically, without looking things up, because it just... felt right. Not only is the game adapting FromSoft's formula into something its own, it's also doing that with the story of Pinocchio. The gameplay and the story congeal together not in the 'perfect' way that it does with games like Celeste or Undertale, but rather in a more... messy way, like a puppet aching to become a real boy.

The game is full of loss, in its world and for you as the player, who will die many times. But unlike much of FromSoft's catalogue, I never once felt like I died because of bullshit. Was I trolled? Sure, the game definitely 'trolls' you in classic FromSoft fashion, lulling you into a sense of security only to sweep you off your feet. But unlike how FromSoft does it, these circumstances can always be avoided if you're cautious. And if you're not? Hey, 'We got you! We gooottt youuu, haha' and you lose a couple minutes of progress, rather than like fifteen minutes and also an entire level's worth of souls because oh right, this section you just got through is kind of bullshit cheap.

Don't get me wrong, I love Dark Souls. But the thing is, Lies of P takes the parts I love about Dark Souls, admits it can't pull off quite the intricate web of level design, but then throws away everything I do not like about Dark Souls, improves on the things I already liked, and then pushes me to meet it on its level.

The satisfaction of being a boss you spend an hour, two hours on, cannot be understated. It's a feeling unlike any other, and one only this medium can provide. And Lies of P kept me motivated, like Sekiro before it, to keep improving, keep growing, keep trying. And unlike Sekiro, it gave me so many more tools to play with, to learn, to balance in an arsenal with intent. Enemies have elemental weaknesses if I so choose to exploit them, the moveset of one weapon's handle can be applied to a completely different blade, my robotic arm can leverage things in a pinch, or be the backbone to dealing with a boss. Mastery is rewarded with practice. A vicious boss that annihilates you in five seconds can be defeated without a single scratch if you practice enough. Mastery, creativity, quick thinking, and reacting are all rewarded here.

I am more than the hands pulling the strings, I am more than a puppet, I am human. And games like this can only be made by humans, who get that specific itch that only video games that challenge us can scratch. It's not an itch everyone has, but that's why it's my GOTY and not yours, innit?

With its unique setting, its wonderful music, its cozy hub area, its narrative that offers just enough to make me care, but not so much that I am bored or feel misled, its amazing boss designs, and its wonderfully tactile and engaging combat, Lies of P is a game I just can't stop feeling something about whenever I am reminded of it.

It epitomizes so much -- not all, but much -- of what I love about what video games can do, what adaptations can do, and much like how Toby Fox was inspired by Mother 3, what people can do when they are inspired by someone else's work.

As far as I can tell, this is developer Round8's debut game, and just. Holy hell, what a way to come out swinging. I haven't seen a debut game hit this hard since, I don't know, Bastion.

Close your eyes. Come to me. Feel all right.

I did, and I do, and given what you teased at the end of this game, I have extremely high hopes of what you come up with next. And in a landscape where things feel more difficult to get excited for with each passing year, much less new IP, it's so damn refreshing to have both Hi-Fi Rush and this game standing out as signals that, hey, some folks are still willing to invest bigger budgets into new games, new ideas.

Again, a battle of centimeters here and at this point I should wrap this up and go to bed.

But yea, Lies of P reminded me of what makes me, specifically, human, in a very particular way that only it has. And I honestly think out of all of single player games of 2023, I think it will actively stand out in my heart the most in the years to come.

#GOTY 2023 #goty #video games #gaming #Mother 3 #scarlet hollow #super mario wonder #future redeemed #Pikmin 4 #Hi-Fi Rush #re4 remake #TOTK #LOZ TOTK #Tears of the Kingdom #Lies of P #long post #Sea of Stars

[sleepymrshmllow]

my sister and i finally watched eternals (obviously lol) and I think that concludes us binging some of barry keoghan's filmography (for now) ✨️

final(?) ratings + ranking:

Saltburn 10/10 (perfect film no notes /hj. I love this fucking movie so much and its quickly become a comfort film for me ♡ gorgeous cinematography, perfectly cast and impeccable performances by the entire cast! they nailed the mid 2000s feel. amazing soundtrack and ost. the queer subtext/tone, the vampire imagery, the metaphors and exploration of deep carnal desire, oliver domming his way to the top? all just *mwah* perfection. im not very good with words lol but basically this movie slaps and its required viewing imo)

The Banshees of Inisherin 9/10 (the trailer didn't do this film justice and I enjoyed it so much more than I expected. incredible film!! the characters were so well done and every actor in this movie did an amazing job (especially colin farrell, kerry condon, brendan gleeson, and barry ofc). I highly highly recommend this one if you haven't seen it ♡ the cinematography is beautifully done as well and goshh the location is breathtaking. one of my new favorite films ♡)

Mammal (2016) 8/10 (this film surprised me! when I read the synopsis I really didn't think I'd come out enjoying this movie as much as I did. it does a really good job with its characters and the complicated relationships between them. great performances and a very interesting and at times uncomfortable exploration of loss and grief. recommend this one! but definitely look into CWs before viewing)

Light Thereafter 8/10 (my favorite of barry's performances after oliver/saltburn. it didn't even feel like I was watching barry play a character, pavel felt like a real person and barry was just!! so incredible in this film and i loved getting to know pavel sm (his passion for art, his stims, the way he enjoys touch and textures :') ) and i was sad when it ended.)

The Killing of A Sacred Deer 7.5/10 (if you enjoyed saltburn, I definitely recommend this one! weird ass film (affectionate) and martin was a strangely endearing character to me lol i dont want to say too too much, you should watch it for yourself! 🍝)

Calm With Horses 7/10 (blonde barry keoghan was a major serve lol no but good film!! sad, but definitely worth watching. not too much to say about this one, but I enjoyed the characters (dymphna the most tho))

Eternals 6/10 (it was pretty enjoyable! the characters definitely carried this film over the plot itself (except ikaris.. I really didn't care for him at all lol). the cgi was a bit distracting and I wish there was a little more show dont tell and that certain scenes/plot points were done better/explored further BUT still entertaining and doesn't deserve the hate it gets imo!)

American Animals 6/10 (slightly disappointing but still worth a watch! evan peters carried imo)

Stalker (2012) 5.5/10 (so weird but also iconic?? worth watching at least once lmao)

Dunkirk 7/10 (objectively great film, but I just don't care for war movies im sorry 😩 soundtrack was actually so incredible tho)

Stay 4.5/10 (it was fine, it just wasn't very interesting)

and a bonus character ranking for fun ♡

Oliver Quick

Dominic Kearney

Pavel

Joe

Martin Lang

Dymphna Devers

Druig

Tommy Valentine

George Mills

Spencer Reinhard

Sean

#barry keoghan #saltburn #the banshees of inisherin #mammal 2016 #calm with horses #light thereafter #american animals #the killing of a sacred deer #eternals #tp #this was honestly really fun !! #we're thinking of watching some of the shows he's in too #long post #im sorry to my followers and moots who watched me spam rb barry keoghan for the past weeks ive been doing this LOL #also just my personal opinions/tastes ok please dont kill me for having certain films so low </3

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Spirit Untamed

Why the fuck does this movie exist? No really, why does it exist? Who asked for a Spirit reboot (not a sequel, because it isnt a sequel, its a reboot for some reason) in the year of our lord 2021? Who asked for this to be released in theaters? And why is it honest to god one of the worst movies I've had the displeasure of watching as part of this marathon???

Ugh, ok so we follow a girl named Lucky, who's visiting her estranged father for the summer alongside her uptight aunt Cora. While there, she meets a captured wild horse, which she quickly bonds with and names Spirit, while also befriending two other local Horse Girls (get ready to hear me say Horse GIrls a lot bc this is literally Horse Girls The Movie). When Spirit's herd is captured by bandits, its up to these Horse GIrls to go on a grand adventure and rescue them.

Yeah, basic plot with insanely basic characters because this movie is for Babies and Horse GIrls. I don't know what else to fucking say. Everything about this movie screams childish and pandering, from the way these characters are written (its set in the early 1900s, but these kids use words like "totally" and make friendship bracelets omg besties, jfc shoot me) from the shitty pop songs to even how it looks (more on that in a bit). There's like... basically nothing appealing about this film if you aren't a very small child or obsessed with horses and even then, the horses element of it is just oh, look at horse make big jump! oh look at horse bond with horse girl! And it gets so damn old so damn fast.

The characters here are all as basic as they can be. Lucky is your typical headstrong preteen, who is way too overconfident in her own abilities, to the point that she's kind of moronic imo? Her friends aren't much better and barely have personalities outside of being there to support Lucky and be her omg besties! Spirit is just... fuckin there, he has no real personality, unlike the original movie where he had a bunch, without even saying a word. Lucky's dad is the most Generic Dreamworks Dad with hangups I've ever seen, I guess Aunt Cora is probably the only semi fun character in the cast, and the bad guy, fuck he was so ineffective and boring I don't even remember his name. The only thing I do remember is his face is weirdly smooshed and he got defeated by a goddam Horse Girl, of all things, jesus christ man, that's taking a major L.

The animation here is just plain pathetic. I understand that this was basically made to launch a Netflix spinoff series, but fuck man, this released in theaters. Does Dreamworks have no fucking shame? Even some of their earliest CGI movies looked better than this bland, uninteresting looking style they have going on here. The music is every bit as boring and forgettable, with again, shitty pop songs. Yay. Just what we need more of.

So yeah, this one fucking sucked. The only good thing I can say about it is it was mercifully short. But like... it was so goddamn boring, man. Even Boss Baby, for as bad as it was, was at least interesting to watch bc you wanted to see how batshit bad it would get. This was just... hard to even focus on with how dull and predictable it was. So thanks, Dreamworks, for releasing this second rate trash heap in theaters, because otherwise I would have never ruined an evening of my life watching it. Seriously, thanks for that. T-T

Overall Rating: 2/10

Verdict: Banished to Horse GIrl Country

Previous Review (The Croods: A New Age)

Next Review (The Boss Baby: Family Business)

#jen watches #dreamworks watch #dreamworks #jen tortures herself with every dreamworks animated movie ever #spirit untamed #spirit

[theygotlost]

What do you think of the Hitchhiker’s Guide movie?

My dad really likes it (I think I remember him saying he likes it more than the book) but I don’t care for it and it is a matter of debate for us

well i just finished rewatching it just now so here's all my thoughts fresh out of the oven!

I don't like it. it's bad and not good. at best it's just mediocre. I hateeeeee that they forced an arthur/trillian romance its so annoying and insufferable and NOTHING. ITS SO LAME. especially cause trillian also became a damsel in distress and I just had to roll my eyes back into my head.

ig the book didn't have enough content to adapt into a feature film so they added an entirely original midsection with that creepy guy named kamala harris or whatever his name was and the entire time i was just like uhhh wtf is happening and why are we here. as a result the ending feels pretty rushed to me.

there were a couple of new additions that I thought weren't half bad though. like the flyswatters on the vogon planet that slap you every time you think for yourself and marvin using the point of view gun to give the vogon army acute depression. those were pretty good.

and who the hell cast this movie? zooey deschanel as trillian sucked ass. I don't like her or her scary blue eyes or her lackadaisical #californiagurl performance. mos def is also a terrible actor and not a convincing ford at all. martin freeman at least has the appropriate depressed british white man vibes to be arthur but i hate looking at his face cause it just reminds me of sherlock.

zaphod is the one I have the most to say about. I actually do like sam rockwell's zaphod because he looks the part and is appropriately sleazy. and I liked his outfits and accessories (though imo there was too much black and I would have preferred more bright colors and patterns). I especially love his combo of nail polish and this little gold chain thingy on his hand. just a nice lil slutty detail.

I'm completely baffled by his choice of a southern american accent though, where'd that come from? is it supposed to be like a bill clinton hillbilly president type deal or something?

and of course there's the elephant in the room regarding his heads. oh christ almighty how I hate the way they handled his second head. I get that it would have been harder to pull off the normal 2 heads side by side in a convincing way for the entire movie (its 2005 and the cgi in this movie looks fake as shit), but good lord every time his second head popped up from below seriously made me want to retch. its sickening to look at and sickening to think about and it's just way more awkward than the more straightforward solution. I also think it's strange that the movie added an explanation that zaphod created the second head during his campaign to store all his uncharismatic traits??? why can't he just be an alien with 2 heads??? I ALSO seriously hate how the other head is all CRAZYYYYYY AND WEIRDDDD AND INSANEEE ASYLUMMMMMM it's not funny at all it's just really hard to watch.

all these issues are kind of surprising given that douglas adams is credited as an executive producer AND screenplay writer? which is also weird since the movie was released 4 years after his death? I have no idea what the production of this movie was like and I'm afraid to find out.

[loopy777]

In terms of quality, would you agree that both of the first movies of the lotr trilogy and the hobbit one were the best by far?

Fellowship was the only one of the lotr movies where i didnt have some huge beef with changes to Tolkien's themes and story i absolutely hated(In fact i would say their elegant solution to removing Tom bombafil and just have Aragorn have the knives of Westernesse at hand to give was probably the best change from the books the movies ever had(though they really needed to explain the signifigance of those blades in some way), and the way it choose to take what worked from Bakshi's opening and made it better was a stroke of brilliance.).

and as for an unexpected Journey, while having some really stupid moments(The rabbit sled, the inclusion of Azog when the actual Orc villain should have been bolg, the slapstick cgi tone of the escape from the tunnels, the choice to make the stone giants literal stone giants whrn they were supposed to be another flesh and blood race in the univetse) it also managed to capture the tone of what a Hobbit movie should be, a more fantastical, whimsical adventure and yet clearly in the style of the LOTR trilogy, and it actually made the dwarves into somewhat memorable characters, with a real relationship eith bilbo(The scene where befor and bilbo talk about home is probably the single best scene of the entire trilogy, and the climax, even if Azog's role in the first part of the movie(and the role really should been Bolg's) undermines it, is a great way to end the movie off while also building in what the hobbit story needed to improve on(the relationship between bilbo and the dwarves).

I have a lot of issues with both the second and third movies that follow(The hobbit movies much moreso) but i generally think the first movies in each trilogy are absolutely great. Easily on par with the books they're adapting(literaily the only thing that could have made fellowship better would be to include Earendil was a marines, Furin's song, and lament for boromir). Which is far less than i can say for their sequels.

But what do you think? Do you disagree? Think Two towers, or return of the king was the best? Or maybe that im insane for actually loving An unexpected journey? That the first movie was smart to avoid including even Tolkien's best songs?

No, you're entirely correct!

I've long felt this way, even judging them solely as movies and not adaptations. Structurally, they feel more complete, and being their respective introductions to the stories, they also feel more like real movies. The others just jump into things while also trying to remind you what's going on, and I feel like that's always a rocky way of bringing the audience into the movie magic. Jackson's use of prologues was a good attempt to resolve that, but it was a trick of limited effectiveness.

Fellowship benefits from being the strongest of the novels, too, IMO. Frodo's character arc is a solid backbone, so much so that Two Towers just switches to Sam as the protagonist of that subplot, and I always felt like TT and RotK were divided in a kind of arbitrary manner. The closest thing to arcs in TT are Saruman's defeat and Frodo getting to Mordor, but neither of those is a character arc. It's weak enough that Jackson had trouble figuring out wither to delineate things and changed his mind after the initial decision.

But with Fellowship, I agree that Jackson mostly made great choices. I understand Tolkien's reasons for including Tom Bombadil, and I don't begrudge his artistic intent, but that part even reads differently from the rest of the story. It sticks out oddly, and any adaptation would be perfectly justified in skipping it. Likewise, bringing in Arwen early is something Tolkien should have done, and the method chosen is efficient. Throwing in the funeral of Boromir is likewise a good choice to wrap up his role and the dynamics of the Fellowship. Every choice strengthened the narrative, and like you say, nothing damaged the themes or meaning. I admit I think the Lothlorien sequence is superior in the Extended Edition, with putting less into building the false tension around Galadriel, but it's a harmless crime, and I always watch the Extended version anyway.

I will say that one possible complaint about the whole trilogy -- Gimli being too much of a comic relief character -- is indeed very present in Fellowship, but it's not a complaint I ever felt very strongly about. I like comic relief characters, and he does get to show bravery and competence, which is what's critical.

In contrast, my biggest complaint about the movie trilogy is probably what was done with the Ents' arc in Two Towers; like Galadriel, it adds a false bit of tension that isn't needed. And in RotK, while I think it's a quality performance, I'm not fond of the changes made to Denethor's character. And I'm of the (I think rare?) opinion that the Extended Edition of RotK is inferior to the theatrical cut. It's a crime that Saruman wasn't dealt with in TT, but throwing it onto the beginning of RotK feels very odd, and I think that whole sequence is cut and assembled poorly. And the extra stuff in the Paths of the Dead sequence was time-wasting nonsense. I'm okay with the Mouth of Sauron sequence, but I admit it's largely unnecessary. The one good point is the Houses of Healing, as otherwise I don't think Eowyn and Faramir complete their character arcs. I will praise RotK for nailing the climax of the main plotlines, though, and I've never agreed with the "too many endings" criticism, but for the shortest book of the trilogy, I feel like a lot of good stuff was left out. Perhaps we could have done with less battling.

As for The Hobbit trilogy, I especially agree on actually liking An Unexpected Journey. Sure, the LotR-tie-in stuff didn't need to be there, and it really turned the escape from the mountains and wargs into a slog, but otherwise I agree that it feels fun and whimsical, and at least they used the changes to build up the character arcs for Bilbo and Thorin and their relationship. This movie keeps things moving at a good pace, and you do indeed get the best character stuff, while there's also a lot of the Tolkien original in there, including large bits of dialogue. I even liked the slapstick chase! XD I actually think that making the violence more cartoony and less realistic helps separate it in tone from LotR to the movie's benefit, and I think it's quality cartoonish-ness. (But I also like the Barrel Ride portion of the next film and all that ridiculousness, even though I do think it clashes tonally with most of the rest of the movie, so maybe I just have bad taste in this stuff. XD) The book is not a story of war, it's a story of adventure- at least until the end, but then Bilbo goes to sleep for that part.

Many words have been spilled about the behind-the-scenes problems with The Hobbit trilogy, so I'll just say that agenda of expanding things really hit the latter two movies the hardest. I don't know if that directly contributed to completely fumbling the tone and intent of the stuff that was actually taken from the books (I weep for the Beorn sequence), but my understanding is that Jackson was having at least a mild breakdown over the whole project. None of the changes were improvements, aside maybe from bringing Bard in earlier, but he and the Laketown presentation really drag things away from the fun Adventure tone and more towards something that tries to be LotR-esque but fails. At least Smaug was cool, but pulling a Saruman and dying in the wrong movie did not do him any favors.

As for the matter of songs, I understand why Tolkien had them, as they don't weigh down giant dry novels, but throwing them randomly into non-musical movies would have felt very odd. I think LotR had the best compromise where the songs are incorporate into Howard Shore's score. Sadly, the same care was not taken with The Hobbit; I think those scores were among of the casualties of the pivot to being as much like LotR as possible, even for An Unexpected Journey.

Hm, perhaps the whole The Hobbit trilogy should have been reworked as a musical, adding songs from Tolkien's other works, making it as cartoony as possible. That would have expanded things a bit, maybe almost enough for three movies.

#thekingofwinterblog #tolkien

[the-derpy-duck]

I adore ROTB

Sort of spoilers. I do my best not to.

I haven’t had much time to reflect on it but ahhhhhh it was so goood! This was the first time I’ve seen a transformers film in theaters and I was losing my mind but trying to be quiet.

But I just LOVE the way the maximals (idk if that’s how you spell it- I have a strictly casual relationship with the English language) move. Like Airrazor talking looked amazing to me and I loved how Primal’s nose would move sometimes. Cheetor’s run cycle! I eat that shit upppppp!! Cheetor in general was really well designed to me. I hope I can get a good toy of him (I already picked up the SS Airrazor). Cheetahs are my favorite animals even if they constantly shoot themselves in the foot, evolutionary wise. The maximals look very good IMO and I’m happy they finally got decent 3D renders. I love how big they all are as well. Like these things could destroy just about anything on earth. I also like the voices for the Maximals.

The humans were also really good. I love Noah’s relationship with his little brother and the conflict with him felt realistic and very grounded in the alien car movie. His friendship with Mirage did feel a little rushed but honestly that worked with the way he was characterized I think. Like Mirage seemed so desperate for a non auto bot friendship and he seemed to have a general affinity for humans not dissimilar to Bumblebee’s.

Also the part where Bee put on his battle mask caused me and the person who was sitting next to me to lose out collective minds. I don’t care if it’s cheesy, pull that stick out of your ass and enjoy the action! Enjoy the drama!

Also I love Mirage’s face. I wish he looked less like Jazz in his alt mode but honestly his bot mode is so cool so I don’t care that much. I also like OP’s face. It’s sort of modeled after Peter Collin’s face so it’s marvelous. I think they should have changed Wheeljacks name to Perceptor, especially sense BB movie design for Wheeljack was just so perfect but also Pablo is my son and he’s so fantastic and I love him and I’m not gonna be person 1,983 hating on this design.

Scourge was alright. I didn’t see the face reveal as too much of an issue or even note it that much in my mind. I think the fact that he collects insignia’s is really cool in a fucked up sort of way. Like it isn’t enough to just kill someone and destroy there home he also needs to disgrace their bodies. It’s also a weird way of keeping track of his victories. I thought it was kind of neat. He’s not that deep and it’s a little bit underwhelming when I think about it. Like I wish the movie had more time to do things. Because to me it didn’t feel that long, I think some extra time would have done it good.

There is a character who died who I think, realistically, should have been able to be revived and I wish that they were. Also a character gets killed and I think the maximals should have been the ones to kill them. I wish the maximals got more screen time. The movie was fairly fast paced. The movie is only 2 hours and 7 minutes long. Which is still 2 hours but I think having it go a little longer would have helped a lot of characters.

The reveal at the end almost made me scream like holy shit. I was expecting something but not THAT. I really hope we can see more decepticons next movie. Like Skywarp as a main antagonist would be so cool. Think of the fight  scenes. Think of the teleportation. Think of another purple movie robot. Please. Pleassseeee.

I though that the CGI was fine. Nothing looked off to me in a way that would pull me out of the movie. The Flash looked a lot worse and I think that movie had a higher budget. 

Optimus wanting to get home and his conflict is compelling to me. Like he doesn’t have a reason to like or trust humans. He’s been stranded on this shithole of a planet with no contact with his army or friends or home for seven years I understand why he hates it. He also has another reason to really get the hell out but spoilers. But also he comes to a general understanding with the humans and learns that they are sort of worth working with. He just wants to get home and help his friend get better and save his own world and brutally murder his enemy. He’s still very brutal but it feels different to Bayverse. That’s probably because I don’t like Michael Bay or his transformers films but you chose to read to this point so you get to deal with my weird biases.

*minor spoilers sort of*

The part where Unicron tells OP not to destroy the key and that he give him anything and OP says “then die” got me way too hyped up. Like wow. Murder dad robot is SO cool!

I love Arcee fighting with Wheeljack and standing on Rhinox, idk if it was a call back and or reference to that one beats wars  scene but I love it either way

#transformers #maccadam #rotb spoilers #rotb #rotb mirage #rotb optimus #rotb cheetor #Duck screams about things

[wendy-comet]

I'm sorry if this is a very stupid question, But I really want to get into transformers because of the stuff you reblog, but I can't figure out Where to start with it. Do you have any recommendations? Like which comic run or cartoon was your favorite or somthin?

Anon. I wrote you such a beautiful long post. And then... I accidentally clicked out of it. And it was all lost. So you get a much shorter version now, sorry 😭😭

A) earthspark, hands down. It's on paramount plus, it's amazing -- the designs, the voices, the characters (old robots, new robots, even the humans!), I love all of it. Like yeah it's a kids cartoon, but it is a fucking excellent one IMO. I think it is a valuable entry point even if you don't know anything else about transformers. I could talk for a super normal amount of time about Nightshade. It technically takes place after the G1 cartoons, but you don't have to watch them to understand what's happening.

B) the G1 cartoons are a fun way to get to know the OG robot designs and character pitches.. they don't really have a "plot" beyond "make toys look cool for children"... except when they hit you out of nowhere with character interactions that have such meaningful potential, you can't believe what you're seeing, what are they going to DO with this? And then in the next episode Megatron has eye lasers for some reason and they're time traveling to King Arthur and Astrotrain (he turns into a space shuttle AND a steam train) is trying to start a rebellion of passenger trains. This is only slightly an exaggeration.

C) the IDW comics are the most popular set of comics, specifically, the More than Meets the Eye run that started in 2012, and its sequel, Lost Light. It's about a bunch of robots who go on a big ship to quest for the semi-mythological Knights of Cybertron... then get distracted by seven million other adventures. There are SO many characters and they're basically all SOMEBODY'S blorbo, the way every Pokémon is SOMEBODY'S favorite Pokémon. If you, at one point, followed me for Wolf 359, or if you generally like found family in space with engaging (and gay) romances but also beautiful platonic relationships, not to mention trauma, healing, laughter, cool robots, your current husband finding out that your ex-husband who was presumed MIA was actually with the robot death squad and now either your current husband or your ex has to die (CHROMEDOME AND REWIND HAVE A LOT GOING ON OKAY), time travel, more cool robots, you know, normal scifi stuff.

D) Other cartoons I enjoyed: rescue bots is aimed at a younger audience, but if you, like me, are the kind of person who genuinely enjoyed/enjoys things like friendship is magic, you'll probably quite like it! My favorite character is Blades, who is a helicopter afraid of heights. Beast Wars has AMAZING voice acting and character development and exciting plots...... and also CGI that was, at the time, EXTREMELY impressive. Unfortunately the time was the 90s so parts of the animation have not aged too well. IT'S STILL SO GOOD I PROMISE.

E) If you just want one fun movie to watch, I highly recommend the 2018 Bumblebee movie. It's a very fun flick with robot-human bonding, Bumblebee being adorable, and a teeny taste of the larger robot world to whet your appetite.

#transformers #recommendations #transformers idw #tf earthspark #tf g1 #also i have no idea when u sent this ask #i never remember to check my inbox lol sorry #long post #from me to you

[kiss-my-battery-505]

I’m bored so here’s a list of my reviews of all the movies I’ve seen from the silver scream albums

Don’t feel pressured to read lmao I’m just infodumping for fun also sorry for bad formatting this was written in my notes app lol

Friday the 13th/Thank god it’s Friday- The song absolutely FUCKS its so good I VERY recommend it, it mainly references the beginning part of the movie but it sounds like a basic campfire story but with metal music it’s awesome <3 The *movie* wasn’t bad, the first one wasn’t as great as I was expecting but it was super fun and I def am gonna watch the sequels

Rainy day/Resident evil- LOVE THESE the song is 100% less metal and more like alternative?? Pop rock?? but it’s still amazing the music video also slaps, but the MOVIES!!!! I just watched the second one (it’s been a while since I watched the first lmao) but the second one is a total cheesy action/zombie movie and is one of the only zombie movies I’ve ever enjoyed like GENUINELY and the GAMESS I’ve only played the first one (I haven’t finished yet </3) and watched some clips from the later ones but they freaky /pos HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend the song/franchise

Scream/Your number’s up- The song wasnt my favorite (it just sounded a little too much like a musical but it wasn’t bad) but it wasn’t bad but the MOVIE <333 I already watched scream like a while ago and it’s one of my favorite like kind of mystery/slasher movies? Also one of my favorite final girls in a movie like she def earned it, I wish I could watch this movie again for the first time it rocks

IT/IT is the end-Another movie I have SO many thoughts on: the older one was my favorite <33 it had practical effects it felt like the main characters actually cared about each other, LOVED the old one BUT the new ones were not as good imo like it was *all* CGI that got kind of boring after a while the characters like seemed to care about each other less and it was all super forced, there were like wayyyy too many side plots that meant nothing??? AND THE ENDING like- spoilers if u haven’t watched it- but the way they figured out how to defeat the clown WAS SO FUCKING STUPID like all of those confusing side plots and they just had to use the power of bullying????? Like they just gathered around it just going oH stupid little babey man look at this stupid fuckign idiot AND IT WORKED?!?!!! Like they fought a spider creechur in the original like I was so mad at the new ending loll anyway, it’s been like a couple months since I watched it but I could totally go into even more detail jsbsj

Nightmare on elm street/American nightmare- Again the song is great✨super theatrical, I just watched the movie for the first time it’s amazing <333 total cheesy 80s movie, the fashion was great✨the characters weren’t like annoying I liek :)

Hip to be scared/American psycho- This was the first Ice Nine Kills song I’ve ever listened to and it’s STILL my favorite it’s soso theatrical and fun and there are so many movie references in the song it’s crazyy and the live performance clips look so fun jsbsj

I just recently watched the movie bc of the song and like I don’t know if I would have enjoyed the movie as much if I hadn’t listened to the song first loll like the first half of the movie i took WAY less seriously than I should’ve cause like they’d reference something and and my dumbass brain would only think of the song but towards the end I realized it was all a metaphor for something bigger and I’ve never researched a movie that much like ever <3 I could write a whole other essay on the like corporate greed and toxic masculinity themes but this is already super long so <3333

Evil dead/Ex Mortis- the song and movies are on the EXACT same wavelength /pos very camp very cheesy it’s perfect <33 it’s been forever since I’ve watched Army of Darkness but I remember it was super fun like a very good bad movie you can just turn your brain off and watch without analyzing too hard

Candyman/Farewell II Flesh-So I’ve only seen the new remake of this movie but it was done SUPER well like the shadow puppet scenes were really cool and different and the plot was rly good :))) very spooky I loved it (my sister did not lmaoo)

Pet semetary/Funeral derangements- (I’ve only watched the original one) ok so like this movie has a very gloomy type vibe (obviously) and was like pretty unsettling (minus the parts me and my friends made fun of a little lol) but like that’s the point and it was well made, also the *song* funeral derangements fucks *so* hard like the chorus is so amazinggg waughh <3333333 very swag

Also lastly honorable mention that has not been put on a silver scream album (yet 👀) but is still SUCH a good horror movie: Cabin in the woods is so amazing and I cant even summarize the plot without like spoiling it like trust it’s such a good movie it like changes the way u see other popular horror movies it’s so cool I promise

Ok this was really long and I don’t write essays often so I wanted to keep it short (I didn’t 😔) but yeah anyway~this is just some of my own opinions don’t take it too seriously lmao I didn’t 🥰🥰

#I have literally nowhere else to put this so I hope you like it tumbler.com 🥰 #sorry if this is super cringe lol I don’t get to infodump often #ice nine kills #horror

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

Wait, what? People actually liked Matilda the Musical 2022?

Okay so I recently watched Matilda the Musical 2022 on Netflix and I am...baffled by the score on rotten tomatoes. 93% rotten tomatoes score and 73% audience score.

What????

Casting is a mixed bag, to be honest. And I don’t wanna get too much into it, but here’s my rating of the cast. Miss Honey, Mrs. Phelps, and Matilda Wormwood were great. Matilda’s parents convincing jerks but perhaps a little bit too much because I just found them grating when they were on screen. I usually love Emma Thompson but truly hated her casting as Trunchbull. The prosthetics on her face did not look good and it just veered into uncanny valley for me. She was neither fun nor intimidating, so it just felt confused. A weird point of contention I have is that Bruce isn’t actually fat and that bothered me. All the kids do a great job singing and dancing. They’re impressive professionals and it’s not their fault I hated all the songs.

Tim Minchin is a very funny comedian and has been connected to some very fun projects. That being said, I hated most of the songs in this movie. Most of them were overly upbeat, even when the material was supposed to be a completely different tone. Very few of them actually allow a moment of quiet or a feeling other than ‘go go go’ for me. One of the few instances where they do allow it, shockingly, is where Matilda is getting angrier and angrier (sorry, I do not know song titles) and just when it seems like it should reach a peak of anger, it just...dies. And then it goes into a slow song and she pictures herself in the air. It felt very similar to a build up to a sneeze that never happens. Also, the final song where we get everyone suddenly ‘revolting’ because they’re ‘revolting’ children living in ‘revolting’ times? I cannot stress enough how much I fucking hated that song and how little I felt the movie earned that moment.

The lighting of the movie was digital for the most part (I think) and honestly didn’t look good in a lot of scenes, IMO. On top of that, we get a lot of weird things that absolutely, 100% did not need to be digital or CGI. The hat floating ahead of Matilda is not good CGI and it’s a total waste of that anyway. Attach the hat to a line and then attach it to a drone and then just edit out the drone. Why was the newt CGI? Why did it never actually really touch Miss Trunchbull? I’m sure the figure being made of chains is from the book or something, but it just looked stupid. And it ultimately attacked a thing that didn’t matter because the chokeys were literally never once used on screen. It comes up once in a song, is destroyed by Matilda, and then dozens of them show up just to be destroyed again.

Also, maybe the pacing works better in the stage production, but starting with the song about how parents love their babies but Matilda’s didn’t and then immediately going into a song from Matilda about how her parents don’t love her felt unnecessary at best. And then we get random songs that feel totally unnecessary, like Trunchbull singing about hammer throwing. Matilda having powers literally doesn’t show up until an hour into this two hour movie and they’re used so infrequently before the final confrontation that the entire part just feels shoehorned in. Truly could not care less about that song. The thing that destroyed the pacing for me though was the repeated just standstill the movie would come to in order to let Matilda tell an over the top story that ends up being the secret backstory to Miss Honey.

Miss Honey, by the way, who’s barely there and seems scared of her own shadow. Like, I just have a lot of icky feelings about Miss Honey being cast as a black woman only to live in a literal shed and take a backseat to the story of how her mother died. Like by the time the movie ends and Miss Honey volunteers to take care of Matilda, I’m deeply confused because they’ve had very little interaction (Matilda’s spent more time with Mrs. Phelps at this point) and there’s literally no place for Miss Honey to even keep Matilda! Like that’s a sweet gesture, ma’am, but where the fuck is this child going to live? That’s answered a few moments later with Miss Honey suddenly and miraculously having a house, but there’s not really rhyme or reason to it.

And here’s the part where I’m just gonna list things that were bad compared to the 1996 movie because I’ve gotta, okay? Edit: to be clear, I know the 2022 musical is not an adaption of the 1996 movie. This portion is to say strictly from the elements that the two movies share, the 1996 movie did those moments better. These are the points I know are heavily biased and not necessarily fair for a movie but that’s going to happen. No one ignores the existence of the pride and prejudice miniseries when talking about the Keira movie and comparing them doesn’t mean they think the movie is an adaptation of the miniseries. That being said, here are some comparisons between movies.

Matilda 1996 overall has a more cohesive narrative and theme going through it. Matilda actually has a fun build up of her powers and because most of the powers are created through practical effects, the overall end result is more charming and better. You cannot beat the Little Bitty Pretty One scene. Nothing the new movie does comes close to it. No, not even with the movie’s arguably great child actors dancing very well. The chokey in the 1996 movie is actually intimidating is actually used on screen. The chocolate cake and the way they filmed it manages to actually be simultaneously the most decadent amazing cake in existence and also viscerally disgusting. Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman are playing awful people but they are charming to watch. The goofs in the 1996 movie (the pranks to dad’s hair and hat, the newt, etc.) all just land way better as goofs. Hell, the musical didn’t even commit to the dye OR the hat in a good way.

TL;DR: I love some of the cast but fucking hell, Matilda the Musical sucked ass IMO. I’m glad y’all liked it but holy shit, I do not understand it.

#matilda #matilda the musical

[kabillieu]

I have tried to watch a lot of scary and scary-adjacent movies this month. I always want to do this every October but have never had time. And now? Well, right now I have time. I mostly stuck to a mixture of new and old movies that are already on the streaming services I subscribe to. Here's what I've watched so far:

It (2017 version): Unlike every other person alive in the 80s, I have never seen the original It miniseries, so I fundamentally am not scared of clowns. Maybe this movie was always going to disappoint me. The ensemble parts where the kids are just riding around on their bikes is good, but the scary parts are not scary. Too many CGI effects in horror movies is corny  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . Bill Skarsgard was good though. C+

It, Chapter 2: A real dud imo. I can't BELIEVE how much the excellent cast was wasted. D

The Mist: I've wanted to watch this movie for 15 years! I just never did, and then when I did I sort of wish I hadn't. The CGI is AWFUL, even for a 15yo movie, and the editing was weird. I almost stopped watching it halfway through, but I had heard that the ending was unexpected. AND IT WAS. I still didn't like this movie, but the last half was genuinely surprising, so I guess that's something. C

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Freddy Krueger can never be scary to me because the pop culture of my 80s and early 90s childhood was just saturated with him, BUT I did genuinely enjoy this movie, and I'm glad I watched it. It had some genuinely scary scenes, and the premise of someone trying to murder you every time you sleep is terrifying. Unfortunately, a young J*hnny D*pp is in this movie, which YUCK, but oh well. A

Half of Children of the Corn: I could NOT make it through this one. A ridiculous premise, and too many wooden child actors. I do not find CrEePy cHiLdReN to be inherently scary. NEXT. F

The Midnight Club: I love a Mike Flanagan limited series. The Haunting of Hill House is wonderful, and Midnight Mass is genuinely one of my favorite TV experiences ever. I love the way Flanagan interrogates grief, how richly he draws characters, and how immersive his set pieces are. I also LOVE a long tracking shot, which he does sometimes. Anyway, unlike his previous stuff, Midnight Club is YA (it's based on a Christopher Pike novel), and it's not actually a limited series. It's the first season of a regular TV show, so the ending was a cliffhanger (yawn). I didn't love it because I wasn't invested in the premise or the lives of the teenage characters. It felt like he was retreading old work. None of Flanagan's work is that scary, but I didn't find this one to be scary at all. That said, it was still good TV, just not as good as his other work. B-

Before I Wake: Another Mike Flanagan joint. I wanted it to be a little scarier, but it was fine. At least it was only an hour and a half long. I was distracted by Kate Bosworth's lip filler. B

Barbarian: Oh man I loved this one. I'm really stupid when it comes to movies, and I don't usually see twists coming, but this one is genuinely unpredictable and surprising. It's very well acted and a great combination of unsettling, scary, and sometimes funny. Bill Skarsgard was good in this one too. Is he a scream king now? A+

Raw: A vegetarian develops a taste for human FLESH. The scariest part about this movie was the misogynistic hazing. A-

Hellraiser (1987 version): This is another movie that my subconscious psyche was just saturated with even though I'd never seen it. I found it kind of ridiculous and sometimes scary. The practical effects were pretty good, I guess. It left me with a vague feeling of disgust afterward, like I had done something seedy and gross. I felt oily. I think that's how this movie wants people to feel. B-

The Fly (David Cronenburg version): I really appreciate how naked Jeff Goldblum is before he turns into a bug. B+

#basic-ass movie reviews with Kate

[byleranalysis]

You’re saying lightning is massive and then say st has a bigger budget than the avengers? 😂 one of the highest grossing films out there which you can google by the way there’s at least 4 avenger films in the top 10 including the most recent Spider-Man which all falls under marvel not to mention Disney links funding more money. Sorry but not buying st has a bigger budget with that one. Your biased shows highly too. Are we supposed to ignore the words spoken by characters? M said he loves E not w

The first Avengers has a budget lower than Stranger Things four. I was picking movies that are quite popular/people would recognize. I don’t like Marvel a whole lot if I am being honest.

Also… what am I supposed to feel by your words? Oh no! A marvel movie where a majority of the shots are CGI has a more expensive budget! Yeah? Budget is great. It plays into making each shot right and the creativity in being able to execute such. Disney will fire PA’s in an instant because they climb a ladder wrong, etc (happened to one of my friends rip). They are that specific with how sets are run because so much has to be right to get the frame you want (also safety/disney doesn’t like to be sued lol).

However, if I asked you who DP’d on those movies could you tell me? I know! Not because I am better or whatever but because I like to know who was in charge of the lighting department. Actually let’s take a look at that. Do you even know about the different departments on set? Let me remind you that this argument is about how looking deeper into shot composition is not looking into nothing. It’s literally why film is such an amazing medium. It’s visual. You can make every frame a painting! To think there is nothing deeper to them is like reading a classic book and saying there is no symbolism or figurative speech.

But let’s talk The Avengers. Cinematography Seamus McGarey in an interview he did— talks about his other work he has done aside from Avengers. It’s clearly obvious that lighting is used to heighten the audiences emotions and increase the subtext about the narrative. Note also: the camera is inherently incorporated in how he achieved these looks and feel.

Also— guess what? You talk about google? Why don’t you look up how importance visuals are in film or simply how they work.

Secondly, don’t trust the dialogue! You’re absolutely correct 👍🏻 It’s a “show, don’t tell medium”. While dialogue is important, it should be used to further understand the characters or provide depth that would otherwise not be known to the audience via visuals.

Wasn’t even trying to argue ships. I was simply explaining how shots are not just done for the aesthetic. There are millions of dollars being thrown on screen and to say there is no depth to such is throwing away the visual storytelling that is inherent to Stranger Things. Hell! The Duffers loved Spielberg growing up…

“The most amazing thing for me is that every single person who sees a movie, not necessarily one of my movies, brings a whole set of unique experiences. Now, through careful manipulation and good storytelling, you can get everybody to clap at the same time, to hopefully laugh at the same time, and to be afraid at the same time” - Spielberg.

If a movie or show has every made you cry, laugh, feel happy, or inspired— it’s from carefully manipulative things like lighting, shot type, etc, along with good storytelling.

I find it interesting that many are split about the monologue when the duffers have almost always been spot on with how the audience feels during a specific scene.

I feel every shot, every camera move, every frame, and the way you frame something and the choice of lens, I see all those things are really important on every shot. - Roger Deakins (easily the best cinematography… ever imo).

“The director of photography visualizes the picture purely from a photographic point of view, as determined by lights and the mood of the individual sequences and scenes. In other words, how to use angles, set-ups, lights, and camera as a means to tell the story” - John Alton

We disagree. Deal with it.

#cinematography #byler cinematography #byler #stranger things

[offscreendeath]

I watched Valerian last night. I appreciated how very ambitious it seemed, but ultimately the performances fell very short. My take is that a lot of filmmakers have tried to do what Fifth Element did as far as crafting an expansive and detailed world filled with unique designs for its characters and sets, which it absolutely did, but failed to create compelling characters who we follow throughout it. Jupiter Ascending which premiered two years after it did this much better, although I have similar critiques.

Dane DeHaan and Clara Delevingne and were not the worst actors I’ve ever seen, but they seemed too stiff and stoic to come off as endearing or relatable, even while they were joking. I didn’t feel much chemistry between them, and neither of them seemed to have meaningful character arcs to speak of.

I wish the writers took the mystery element of the plot even further. An action/adventure whodunit” type of story set in space would’ve been really cool. I found it difficult to accept Valerian as this super deadly space soldier and it wasn’t just because he doesn’t look physically intimidating. I got the impression that it was his ability to come up with a plan on short notice that was his real strength, but that wasn’t highlighted enough to be very memorable. Laureline straight up did not sell the badass and intelligent role very well.

Worse than them though, was Herbie Hancock, who didn’t have much time on screen, but his performance definitely revealed a lack of training and commitment to the role — no shade, I love his music, but he was not impressive. I was initially excited to see his name in the opening credits (and the opening scene was one of the best imo,) but after watching felt like it was mostly a ploy to draw attention.

I felt similarly about Rihanna’s performance. When she wasn’t giving awkward one-liner jokes, there just didn’t seem to be very much passion in her delivery of the lines. It doesn’t help that she was a cgi blue flubber squid alien for a good half of her appearance or dying in of the most egregious “we can’t afford to pay you/use all this cgi/create plot holes so we’re gonna have to kill you off” scenes I’ve ever witnessed.

That said, there were lots of things I found fun about this — the creative and fun moments with action set pieces, (like the chase following the market heist) practical effects, cool characters design (the three pigeon snitches, the albino twink beach aliens) and costumes (a circuit board design on a military uniform,) an unconventional story about war crimes being covered up…all things that could’ve been enhanced by just a bit more effort in terms of acting and storytelling.

There are moments where I was a bit confused about the tone of the movie. Was this a comedy? Is it for children? Am I supposed to be sad about this character’s death scene when what led up to it was a visual pun about stinky trash? I have my own issues with Marvel films, but at their very best they can manage to balance humor and tense/depressing moments pretty well. I got the impression that there was this rush to establish certain things narratively, and as a consequence, certain other parts (the best parts,) weren’t given much breathing room.

After watching Jupiter Ascending I felt pretty hungry for more exciting space epics with immersive, elaborate worlds. After also watching Avatar 2: The Way of Water just a few days earlier, unfortunately I’m still searching. JA wasn’t perfect, but had less obvious flaws than either, helped greatly by some legitimately decent performances. Avatar made me feel sorta motion sick after a while, even though it also had a few interesting plot elements and thrilling sequences.

I was expecting more, and I’m not sure why. I remembered watching the trailer years ago when it first released, and recalled feeling like “oh yes this is what the streets been waiting on!” and quickly forgetting about it not very long afterwards. The 2010-2019 period of Hollywood was very strange. I liked the direction this was heading and since it didn’t do well I’m wondering if it’s failure signaled a departure from movies like this and into the direction we’re headed now. It being the most expensive independent film kinda blows my mind—but only because it makes the end result all the more disappointing.

I don’t regret my watch, however. I think there were plenty of good decisions that were made, but unfortunately casting wasn’t one of them.

4.6/10

#valerian #valerian and the city of a thousand planets #review #text post #film blog #film review