#and also something about how physical damage is tolerable but emotional damage is too much

[veliseraptor]

i still love the fact that xiao xingchen literally stabs xue yang but that wasn't the thing that broke their relationship. xue yang's reaction to being stabbed by xiao xingchen is basically "i see you are upset but we can definitely sort this out"

love that for him. such optimism. completely unearned but what's a little stabbing between friends eh

#important text posts #and also something about how physical damage is tolerable but emotional damage is too much #my feelings about xue yang's relationship to his body! again! #anyway #xuexiao #xue yang #xiao xingchen #the sad queer cultivators show #i've been so on task this week so far and apparently i reached my limit this morning

[dr3c0mix]

Heyo! Hope you're doing alright! Firstly, sorry if this is too long... summary: yan oc reactions to male/gn reader with a high pain tolerance whose platonic affection language is rough housing (biting , headbutts, body slams/shoulder bumps, aggressive bear hugs, or a good grip/squeeze. All of these forms of affection are done by reader with as much force as is allowed without actual damage and which reader happily reciprocates). Bonus, what're the reactions of rough housing intolerant yans when said reader starts trying to find someone else as an outlet for this affection need. Context: I saw the mini react to the affectionate chair wielding and had a thought. I am a very energetic and affectionate individual with folks I'm close with, and often times a gentle hug or soft touch just isn't enough to get across the energy and emotion or i just NEED something more grounding/comforting cause "yes this gentle hug is comforting my stress a little but i really REALLY need you to crush my soul and being back together with this next hug. Really trash compactor my body so i can feel whole again :) 💪". It's what i grew up with and what some of my friends encouraged/reciprocated (have definitely popped backs when giving each other hugs and once i popped someone's fingers when i was allowed a good squeeze). When soft affections aren't hitting right (and i have permission from my friend) I tend to turn to play bites (at whatever maximum safe pressure is allowed by the person being bitten), headbutts, body slams/shoulder bumps (again, at a maximum safe force that is allowed), and harsh grips/hugs (again, whatever maximum safe force is allowed). It's really a grounding/comforting thing cause it allows me and my friend to destress, release energy, and also kinda reassures us that we're truly physically and emotionally there. It's definitely not something for all my friend circles and i usually turn to my high energy friend circles that have similar needs (and they come to me if they feel the urge as well). A good example is the time Friend A saw me out and about, shouted out my name and charged me full speed from 30 feet away. I tanked the brunt of their full body affectionate tackle and honestly? Was one of the happiest and closest i felt to my friend. Haven't done that in a while cause we got warned not to do that again by personnel lol. We usually try to meet up at parks (cause indoor places understandably don't like when a group of adults start rough housing) though it's hard to rn cause of the heat and stuff

OCs w/ a Rowdy Darling

My OCs x GN Reader

THIS IS LITERALLY AMAZING !! you seem like a really cool person to hang out with ! id definitely let you give me a back popping hug >w< not sure if im strong enough to give you a hug as strong as that though hehe ^^" anyways heres the fic ! (´ ∀ ` *)

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

Adrian is literally the same as you. Every shove or punch or rough housing is a sign of affection.

You two probably rough house all the time ngl, and he loves it!

You're his energetic little lover and he's all for it!

You two might have gone to detention for rough housing to hard a few times hehe..

If you bear hug him, he'll try to hug you harder, it's like a competition to him!

Honestly, he sees everything as a competition. You push him playfully? He'll push you harder.. headbutts? You might get a slight headache after he's done..

He might be your boyfriend, but he's still a bit of a bully, but it's all in good fun! He stops if ever he notices you're getting uncomfy.

Not a biter though, but when you do it, he melts like putty!

He loves how strong and rowdy you are and that you're not afraid to express it, it shows how tough and confident you are!

He likes his gentle moments once in a while, but being able to love you in a love language you both share is so special to him <3

"Cmon babe! One more hug! I can take it!"

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Brandon is kind of impressed..

He's one of the best football players in his school and his little darling is biting and shoving and headbutting him, so adorable!

You remind him of a little goat, so excited and happy and lively!

Definitely makes him more protective of you because of how precious you are to him.

If you get to rowdy for his liking, he grabs you and traps you in a bear hug until you calm down or if you give him an even tighter bear hug than the one he's giving you.

Invites you to play a bit of football with him and his team.

But protection is key! He wraps you in all sorts of gear before you play, he knows how high your pain tolerance is but he still wants to keep you safe! and also he likes seeing you wear his helmet

Your body slams are praised not just by him but by his team, it's too cute!

If he catches you being your little rowdy self around anyone else, he'll get jealous fast..

He shoves you affectionately to get your attention.

"Heya baby! How's my little ram doing huh?"

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Valeth just thinks you're copying him in a way and is flattered.

Aweee, little mate is so strong and tough! He's so proud!

Encourages the behavior, as long as you don't hurt yourself!

He's much stronger than you so your affections don't do much, but you bet your ass he's putting his whole soul in pretending to get hurt.

Rough houses with you as if you were a little child play fighting, he loves playing with his little warrior!

If you do get hurt, he's putting all play fighting to a halt! He's checking up on you and making sure you're ok with the softest voice you've ever heard from an orc.

You might be fine but he's not taking no for an answer, you're getting some rest!

Love love loves your bearhugs! He tests your strength and lets you squeeze him as hard as you can!

Biting is met with kisses all over your face, it's what you get for being so cute!

Body slams are more like you latching onto him and trying not to fall off because of how large he is..

"Oh my little duckling can bite! How fierce! You're so strong haha!"

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Bo appreciates how energetic and lively you are, but please no rough housing ;-;

He doesn't want you to get hurt or hurt anyone else, even though you're perfectly capable of regulating how rough you can me, he's just a lil protective is all

He only allows bear hugs and squeezes, anything else is greeted by the time out corner (him trapping you in his arms in the bed until you give up)

"Now now hun, not so rough ok? I don't want you gettin banged up or anythin.."

Ribs is also a feral little man and absolutely loves that you're as rowdy as him!

You two love play fighting and biting affectionately!

He loves your headbutts! he returns them all the time

"Ahahaha! Again again!"

Soda tolerates it, he just appreciates that you're comfortable enough to rough house with him.

He's not the energetic type but he'll give you sleepy kisses and squeeze you back if you bear hug him

Doesn't bite but he likes nibbling on you

He's not as lively as you, but he loves reciprocating your affection!

"You're so strong hehe~"

Screw is scared

He is oddly aroused

He's also hopelessly trying to stop himself from called you sir or daddy or any dominant title because oh my god you are so awesome

He's looking at you with puppy dog eyes asking for your love and attention

PICK HIM UP TOSS HIM AROUND SHOVE HIM BITE HIM PLEASE HE LOVES IT!

Imagine him kicking his legs and rambling about you to the others

"H-hello si- dadd- (Y/N)! Hi (Y/N) heheh.."

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Wolfie loves how rowdy you are! he loves playing!

That's his way of telling you he loves you, but of course he's extra gentle when playing with you, he wouldn't wanna get his mate scratched up!

Loves rolling around and playing around with you, it makes him feel like a pup again!

Doesn't like you biting him though, you might get something icky in your mouth!

Licks you all over if you get hurt or get a little too rough to make you feel better!

Headbutts are rewarded with his big paws bopping you on the head like he's trying to pet you!

If he's tired and you're being your lively little self, he just takes you and sleeps on top of you so you can't escape.

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

Dorik actually has a lot of brothers and sisters back in hell and you remind him so much of how they used to play around with him.

As much as he adores cuddling you close and doing gentle and calm things with you, he loves how tough you are!

Yes he moans when you bite him.

Everytime you're affectionate with him, he can't help but kiss you all over, you're just so cute!

Almost cries if you give him bear hugs, this man is touchstarved!!!!

He gives you his own love by wrapping his tail around you or rubbing his face into your clothes, chest, hair, anywhere! He loves how you smell so good everyday!

Shrieks if you body slam him, but somehow he's as solid as a rock, he didn't even stumble..

But he's all over you asking if you're ok.

"Master? My love? My darling are you alright?!"

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Kalva unfortunately doesn't like rough-housing, he's made it a rule that you can only mess around outside the nest!

But he adores your bearhugs and headbutts and bites, they're comforting to him in a way, it shows that you're close to him!

He headbutts you too, it's his way of asking for your love and attention.

For a while it was also how he kissed you since he didn't know how to do it properly yet.

He might indulge in your rough ways sometimes by jumping around and messing up his feathers on purpose, but you should promise to help preen them afterwards!

Nevertheless, he loves you to bits and just wants to keep you safe <3

"My mate is so excited! My mate is happy!"

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Jasper is scared for his life but in a fun way.

He never knows the next time you're gonna bite him or tackle him into a hug, it's like a game for you both.

He gets you back by surprise tickling you, it's pretty effective.

If he expects the biting, he definitely bites you too, kissing the area right after for extra measure.

Don't get me wrong he's absolutely flustered whenever you do it, but he gets used to it after a while.

But no rough-housing with him! He's fragile and might break something.

Legit asks you to crack his back if ever he's having back aches.

"Hey love, my back's a little weird again, can I get another hug~?"

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Viktor is surprised and a little intrigued.

Oh? My darling is so energetic, I love it!

If you ever try anything on him, he chuckles and 'punishes' you with kisses all over your face and cuddles you until you give up.

Your bites kind of freak him out

Like he's supposed to bite people! It's kind of weird having people bite him, it's a bit exciting..

"My my~ Is my little bat misbehaving again~?"

Garrick doesn't tolerate roughness at all.

You might get hurt! What if one of them reciprocates the affection and goes too far? He's not having it!

That is until you do it to him and he absolutely melts at your cuteness.

He goes from strict to 100% on board with your love bops

Refuses to bear hug you, he might break your spine because of how much he loves you!

"Remember to be careful my turtledove! And I love you!"

Silas is all in on your rowdiness, considering he's like that himself.

He's a mischievous little shit and loves play fighting with you.

Loves picking you up and spinning you around, making you hold onto him as you two giggle like young lovers together.

Always does this thing where he cups your face and shakes your head side to side, he says its because you're too cute and your face must be a mask because no one is that perfect!

Gives you gentle and soft kisses after your rough moments because he wants to make sure he didn't hurt you. He feels the need to remind you always how much you mean to him and how happy you make him feel.

"My little owl, so cute, so adorable~ I'll never leave you Darling~"

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Baron tries his best to keep you calm but you're just to fuckin adorable!

He's a cold hard assassin! Why is he smiling over weak little attempts to hurt him?!

Scolds you for rough housing but his heart breaks if you pout or if he hurts your feelings

Immediately says sorry and holds your hand tight to show he still loves you, he just doesn't wanna see you potentially hurt yourself.

If you're rough with anyone else, he's pulling you off and dragging you away whilst holding you in the tightest bear hug, his actions screaming out 'you're mine!'

Of course he denies it all, saying excuses like 'what if they think you wanna pick a fight?'

But you know he's just jealous that you're not giving him that attention.

Still doesn't tolerate bodyslams or bites but bear hugs, headbutts and squeezing his hand are highly appreciated. Highly

"How about we settle down now boss hm~? I'll run you a nice hot bath if you'd like~"

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Caspian is a wimpy little bitch and gets upset if you play fight with him.

He'll start whining for you to stop but like also whine if you stop giving him attention. (little shit)

Lives for your bear hugs! SQUEEZE HIM HARDER PLEASE!!!

Headbutts make him dizzy and otherwise just confused but he appreciates it and thinks you're trying to kiss him.

He'll pull you close and show you what a real kiss is like~

Bite him and he's flustered.

Like about to have a stroke and can't form a complete sentence flustered.

"Ohohoh~ Oh my~ H-how fascinating~!"

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Hallow loves playing! Wait what are you doi-

Gets the message (i think) and starts to play fight with you too, chasing you around the house and wrapping you up in his long arms to tickle you all over!

Pretends to be a scary monster and nuzzles his face into you once he catches you, imitating eating. That's what you get for trying to fight the big spooky Hallow!

Your headbutts and affections make him so happy he starts jingling from how much he's trying to hold back.

He loves roughing you up a bit too, but his little bops aren't so strong since he's made of cotton and love <3 <3 <3

If you're getting a bit too rough, he wraps you up and kisses you softly before letting you go once you calm down.

"You tired from lovin on me all day sweetie~? It's alright, I got a looooootta lovin left for you~!"

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Ashvan is terrified!

On one hand eeeeee so cute! He wants to return your affections so bad!!!

But also you might die???

He's a big guy, and he's aware of his size and strength, so he's pretty wary on how he handles you.

You're like a little porcelain doll to him! He'd be so sad if anything happened to you just because he wanted to express his love to you!

He loves your bops, but giving you a warm smile and a kiss is all he can do really.

He makes up for it in giving you gifts, helping around the infirmary, cuddling you at night, the little things.

He wished he was more gentle so he can do the things you do to him! He so wishes to hug you as hard as he can!

"S-so cute...I-I mean so uhm..strong and fierce haha! So not adorable and precious in every way possible! Yeah.."

#yandere #yandere x gn reader #male yandere #oc yandere #yandere x male reader #tw yandere #yandere male #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere monster #yandere writing #soft yandere #werewolf x reader #x reader #gender neutral reader #male reader #bully x reader #werewolf x human #demon x human #monster x human #teratophillia #terat0philliac #terato #oc x reader #monster #yandere x you #x male reader #female reader #x female reader #gn reader

[eff-plays]

Some asks for Hira 🫣🌽: How does this OC feel about acts of affection? What's their favourite act of affection, physical or emotional? 🍰: What's something your OC counts as unforgivable? 🎂: Has your OC have any contradictory interests or traits to the first preception people have of the? How do they surprise people? 🍪: What is something that's sentimental to you OC? 🍩: What's a crime your OC is most likely to commit? What's a crime they're most likely to get arrested for?

Ok now I gotta reblog the ask game these questions came from so it's not coming outta nowhere dfjdkjgdhkgjfhd

How does this OC feel about acts of affection? What's their favourite act of affection, physical or emotional?

I mean most people like a good act of affection, right? Honestly I don't think they're too picky as long as it's sincere. They do like a good cuddle, platonic or romantic. I imagine they cuddle Karlach more than they cuddle Astarion for most of the game lmao. And yes he gets upset about it 😔 Idk for some reason I think tieflings have a sort of unspoken camaraderie/familiarity with each other, so a lot of their gestures of affection involve tails and horns. So wrapping their tail around people, forehead-bonking, etc.

What's something your OC counts as unforgivable?

Ooh this is a tough one 🤔 I dunno if they'd consider much of anything as their job to "forgive" if that makes sense? They think more in terms of the amount of damage caused, and whether it'll happen again. Like if you put some random farmer who killed his wife's lover in a jealous rage and isn't sorry, but who has otherwise no history of violence and doesn't intend to kill again, and someone like the Dark Urge, who is perhaps repentant and doesn't want to kill again but might just because they're forced to and have like several massacres under their belt, Hira will have way more sympathy for Durge, but they will kill them without hesitation if forced to pick. They don't care much for ethics and morality and redemption and whatnot, but more like "how much more hurt and damage will you cause, and is it enough for me personally to intervene" and "if you hurt a lot of people before, what will you do to balance that out."

So in a sense they do concern themself with redemption? But from a practical standpoint, I guess.

But they're also not above just killing randos for annoying them. Like they make a calculation of "how much good am I removing from the world by wasting this bozo". Like guys like Aradin haven't wronged them personally but he keeps saying racist shit and being kind of a nuisance so if he gives them enough "reason" they'll be like oops he fell off a cliff idk lol.

Generally they will have little mercy spared for people who hurt children in particular, though. That's one of those things where they have basically no tolerance whatsoever. Especially from parents. They are not thrilled with Mayrina, let's just say.

Does your OC have any contradictory interests or traits to the first perception people have of them? How do they surprise people?

I think the fact that they're strictly monogamous and actually very devoted once in a relationship would probably surprise a lot of people. And the fact that they're not nearly as sexual as they pretend to be. A lot of their stereotypical bard-ness is basically there to foster the Faerûnian equivalent of parasocial relationships. If they pretend to be single, approachable, sexually available, they get more tips, that sorta deal.

Like when they tell Astarion they're ok with never having sex again if he doesn't want to, he doesn't believe them, he thinks it's a joke. So they have to eventually reiterate that no, genuinely, if you don't want to have sex ever, that's fine, I might not even miss it. They're like "We're both sexed up enough to last other people many lifetimes. If being with you means going without, it's a mindlessly easy trade."

On a different note, they once let out a scream of rage so intense it made Karlach go "hey uh ... what was that about" and they were like "haha dw about it<3"

What is something that's sentimental to you OC?

In terms of items, probably their violin and the coin with Tymora's holy symbol.

What's a crime your OC is most likely to commit? What's a crime they're most likely to get arrested for?

Most likely to commit? Theft. Most likely to get arrested for? Fraud.

Thanks for the ask!! 💖💖💖

#bg3 #oc: hiraeth #astarion when he realizes HE might put more value on sex than hira does: *surprised pikachu face* #a: you would give it up forever? for me? 🥺 #h: yeah? why do you say it like it's a huge loss lmao. all i need is a kiss and to run my fingers through your hair once a day or so

[pazodetrasalba]

Worth the Candle - Update

Dear Caroline:

I've finished book VIII, which means I'm in the home stretch now. I am counting of getting to the end in December, which will aptly make WtC the last month of the year's Carolingian book.

As to my predictions, it was pretty obvious that the Onion was going to get chopped, and I also got the Cannibal partly right - I had almost forgotten the dragon, but then I was seeing it as more of a background threat than as something to be instantiated. The conclusion of book VIII was a mouthful!

Things going through my head:

-Yes, some threads have been tied (?, one can never be completely sure): Anglecynn and dragons; I still feel there's too much on our plate for a satisfactory ending of each of the mayor open ones. We shall see.

-Amaryllis has suffered some grievous physical damage (fixable? how?). Juniper too. I get that Soul Magic allows repair, but when legs and arms are missing, I am not sure what you can actually do, besides some Druidic bs. Juniper still has his level ups, but they don't extend to companuons.

-I'm glad Lisi survived the skyfall and carnage. Yay!!

-The overwhelming moral reflections inevitably got me thinking. Unlike you, I can empathize very easily with the main protagonist: I was a young, angsty, socially clueless teenager once, and a DM for my very small RPG community (perhaps more bookish and academically oriented than you, and even worse with girls), and within the narration, I can easily be led away by desires for revenge and painful retribution (like literally enjoying the perspective of Juniper dealing grievous bodily harm and mockery to Onion and most of the Penndraig princes and princesses). I took very seriously Raven's reflections, and I'd say there are two things at play here: vicarious pleasure and ultimate unreality.

Literary critics, in their efforts to justify the works of writers to men, usually make the case that 'art' as opposed to 'entertainment' has a some sort of value -aesthetic, pedagogic, mimetic, creative of whatever they can cook. Ultimately though, there is a way in which fiction panders to our tastes, allowing us to explore multiverse scenarios that are close enough to our own to be meaningful (and generate emotional investment) but also far enough that we don't have to actually reflect on consequences. One common argument in favor of literature is it develops our empathy by putting us in the shoes of completely different peoples, characters and societies, and making us more tolerant and understanding. Perhaps for some books, but we still tend to focalize on the protagonist(s).

Another argument, for meta and deconstructive texts, would teach that about the dangerous effects of narrative and one-sidedness, and this gets much attention in the late chapters of book VIII, in a very complex rephrasing of 'one man's hero is another man's villain'. And it gets translated to this world - even when we're out of fiction, the framing narratives we get told about people and events obfuscate us and reduce complexity to simple black and white stories that flatter our tribal instincts and identifications, our desire to see our adversaries crushed along with the moral justification to let ourselves loose and enjoy their pain and suffering, in a way which is dehumanizing.

I don't think this makes us psychopaths, though. Ultimately, 'it is a narrative video game', and we know that if we were playing with real stakes, life's complexities and empathies would kick in. Even in fiction, a change in focus -seeing an evil character suffering, crying, suddenly being humanized by friends, family and some good intentions- immediately impacts you. And I can think of at least one recent case when I actually felt sorry for a convicted criminal when just thinking about his gloomy future, the waste of potential good agency, and his relative's obvious grief. So there's a clear lesson spelled out here, even if most critics would consider WtC as something beneath them and the texts they classify as 'literature'.

Quote:

An EAG play in three acts: Act 1: Is that worldoptimization!? Act 2: She mentioned Worth the Candle, it is! Act 3: Oh no, she left early. Well, at least I got another reminder to read that fic.

#caroline ellison #worth the candle #ethics #fiction

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

5. how long can your muse hold a grudge? 13. how does your muse outwardly express their anger? and 19. out of everything your muse has lost/given up, which hurt the most?

HEADCANON QUESTIONS

―― 5. how long can your muse hold a grudge?

Robin actually, despite the darker parts of his personality, isn't very vindictive at all and tends to let grudges go rather easily; this is because Robin has an extremely vast resevoir of empathy. While he may not agree with someone's actions, particularly towards himself, he can usually understand why they did such a thing by placing himself into their shoes and immediately piecing together the steps taken to get to the point of action against him. While he may not forgive the incident, the ill feeling of resentment fades pretty quickly and allows him to act civilized towards them - if a bit distant.

―― 13. how does your muse outwardly express their anger?

He has a very cold anger for the most part and it is a slow cooking, simmering emotion that never blows the top of the pot off. Robin's temper is, as you might have guessed from above, rather hard to ignite and there's only a few things that can truly set him off - one of these things being the destruction of his garden, and another being his distaste for people messing up his work. Due to his Machiavellian traits, his anger follows a similar pattern of callousness, cynical, and misanthropic ideals - and he will pick someone apart if given the chance. I have a drabble HERE that illustrates what happens when he's angry but here is a sneak peek:

"Out of all of the asinine things--To try this sort of operation without help, alone, and with no failsafe in place--I believed you to not be entirely stupid but it seems that I've placed far too much confidence in you. I won't tolerate such a disrespect to the craft, let alone the patient." Brows stitch together as he faces away once more, unable to keep his voice steady when he sees the patient's breathing hitch once more. "Relying on runic writing to tell you what to do without any true idea of the true nature of what you're trying to fix is... No--that practice is far from medical. Anyone who performs procedures of any kind on his patients without understanding the inner workings of them is no doctor. No medic, and no healer--you should be thanking the Gods I walked in when I did; You're reliance on that damn book nearly cost his life! I will not have his life be forfeit because of your negligence, now get out--"

―― 19. out of everything your muse has lost/given up, which hurt the most?

If you had asked me this a month or two ago I would have defaulted to the loss of his family; it is the single largest driving force in his life towards what he has become after all, but nowadays I think he has lost something much more valuable and that would be his own autonomy. But what do you mean Egg? He still operates on his own and is mostly independent! That is correct BUT his loss of autonomy came with the moment he was rescurrected by Bel and brought back into the world after seeing what lay beyond. This single action has damaged his mind far past anything therapy could truly fix, and has led to immense physical stress (his eyes being a key example of this, they are so blighted that he can barely see through them anymore, and lives mostly in the dark) on his body. In turn these consequences have also changed how he is allowed to interact with the world, he is a hermit who cultivated his own space because no one else will let him into theirs - he is less than human, he is a eldritch horror that Ionians tell their children about, and it has fundamentally changed how he operates.

#mun speaks #headcanon questions #bladesdanced #i forgot how uncomfortable robin is when angry #I rarely ever write it #but #reading it over againn I was like #sheesh

[electricbluebutterflies]

Jess/Leto + "you were outside for how long? without a coat?"

Mid-era domestic sparring is a good time. PG-ish and also on ao3.

This love is going to be the end of her.

Jessica has accepted for years now that her arrangement is not quite what she was once prepared for – softer, more genuine, far less pressure than she suspects she could handle. But there are downsides to it to, petty weaknesses and tendencies in that man that she is sometimes so tempted to try to alter and-

She can’t. She won’t. It would compromise her. It would ruin one of the only truly good things that has ever happened to her, and it would severely if indirectly damage the structure of the other. She is still so, so very tempted some days.

Today is one of those, a glaring reminder that there is a difference between knowing how to manipulate men every possible way and actually understanding the species, the kind of minor domestic crisis Jessica has learned is usually not worth making an issue out of. She reminds herself sometimes of the stories she’s heard, how compared to most of the family legends her partner is unusually not impulsive… if there were ever an extermination plan, she thinks, it really wouldn’t take much. Comparisons be damned, her partner has a tendency to get stuck in his head and make minor mistakes like…

“You were outside for how long?” Jessica asks, louder than she normally would when other people can hear her and with most of her usual composure dropped for the occasion. “Without a coat?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you worry too much?”

“More often than you say you love me,” she counters. It’s a deep cut, and she’s almost never like this in public, and-

No. Correction. The volume is unusual, the body language is more existent than is normally comfortable for her – the hand on her hip is much less subtle than her usual glaring – but the nature of the fight is a normal enough spectacle. She has become fearless, and there was an era she spent significant time trying to see how much she could get away with and the answer was significantly more than she’d expected, and-

“You’re compulsive,” her partner mutters, still just out of her reach. “It’s like you wait for these things to happen and you pounce and-“

“Wanting you alive and functional is hardly compulsive.” Now with the glaring, now with the reminders that she can spar with just her eyes when so inclined. A decade ago when all of this was still new, he’d made the mistake of saying those tendencies impressed him, and fine maybe she’s enjoyed seeing how far she can go within that one offhand comment she treasured in her heart, and-

“I’m fine. Let it go.”

Fine. Sure. That’s a word for it. Not visibly physically damaged, she can give him that. Not quite dressed for a decent length of time outdoors during early winter on a water planet, but acceptable enough layers indoors. Pleasing to look at, Jessica thinks, adding territorial confusion to her emotional compromise, and-

“You don’t get to worry me that way. Do I make myself absolutely clear?”

“Don’t tell me what to-“

“And you do not get to decide my limits for me.”

She knows the leverage of having this conversation with witnesses, how it will impact her daily life for weeks to come. She is powerful in her own right, she could run circles around anyone else in this open space and most days she does and they don’t even know, and deciding where she will draw the line against someone she openly loves too much is… a bold move, perhaps, but a good reminder what she is and has been and-

“I have nothing to apologize for.”

“You don’t even when you do.”

This is what she tolerates, this is how often she bites the inside of her lip, this is how she makes herself a martyr. To be loved by someone who doesn’t quite know how is… something they both experience, she supposes, she knows she herself isn’t any good at that either, but-

“You aren’t actually mad about this,” he says, almost a question, motioning towards himself. “I know you better than that. You’re…”

“Wrong,” she counters, and it’s impossible to stay mad at her lover for too long and she’d hate it if it wasn’t so convenient. “Your occasional lack of self-preservation instincts is…”

“I don’t try to worry you.”

Jessica laughs despite herself, and there is a strange comfort in how the argument has unfolded, in how unusually safe she feels going at it as she has. “I know, love. Effort would be more fun to watch.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“You barely asked one.”

“I’m asking now. Did something…”

“No. I would say if…”

“You don’t always. Sometimes…”

“Have the past few minutes meant nothing to you? Does this feel like one of my quiet moods?”

What a thing it is to be adored, she thinks in the silence that follows. She confuses her partner, and she doubts that will ever change, but they both know she will never let anyone else so close. The reverence in his eyes even now, and that will be part of the whispers later, how openly she confronts him and how openly he allows it, and-

“Do better,” she says, turning to leave before they find something else to spar about. “If not for me, then at least to prevent rumors of weakness.”

She knows what she’s doing. She always has. She also knows this won’t work. In a few weeks, if not even sooner, her partner will make some other little mistake that will set her off even though it doesn’t directly impact her and…

That too will blow over. No other way forward.

#ebf writes fic #leto x jessica #queue

[prof-peach]

if fans wanted to include peach in stuff they write, would that be okay? and how would they write peach's personality? aside from "FIGHT ME" anyway, i think that much is a given lol. i only really write the anime characters 'cause that's what i know, but it sounds like it'd be kinda fun to try making a version of ash that fits into this blog's universe! nerf'd Obviously, but i think she'd probably appreciate how hands-on he gets when training his pokemon!

Ok, I get a lot of these messages, and I often hear folks wanting to throw peach into their stories and comics and writings, and I will always simply ask that if it’s published online publicly, to be linked to it so I can snoop and enjoy the content too. If someone asks about her in your work, let them know about the blog I guess? But literally I love that people take this stuff, these characters and stories, and make new stuff with it. No ones making money off my work here? So where’s the issue? Go for it buddy, knock yourself out, I’m all for it.

For you, and all the others out there who want to add peach, and other characters to your world building, I will give you a detailed rundown of the main lot, and how they behave, what they do, how they function. You can use that, use bits, or use none of it, I do not mind at all. If you’re creating something, you’re in control, not me.

So, peach doesn’t actually fight people as much as you’d think. She’s very aware most cannot and do not want to do that, and so she likes to keep to herself with regards to that aspect of her life, she doesn’t ask to spar with people, or even bring it up at all, but people ask her all the time, even if they clearly would lose or become hurt should she miscalculate during the fight. She looks at people like they usually create problems, and often has a somewhat reserved nature to other humans. You have to work quite hard to get anything more than formalities out of her. She will dead-pan handle people with blunt and very to-the-point statements, aid whenever possible, but very quickly get back to handling the Pokemon she so carefully tends. Her focus is clear, she’s all about hard work, her very small select family, and the Pokemon.

Her brutal, loud and brash personality only comes out with friends, family, difficult humans, OR any Pokemon. She will joke and laugh and play with Pokemon, but clam up around humans, maintaining tight body language and generally will be a little cold by regular standards. She does however have some weaknesses in this emotionless shield she puts up. When peach was young she was always angry, which swung so fast to sadness, back and forth. Her teenage years it just got worse and worse, it was crippling at points. She is to this day, full of fire and rage, even sadness, but now she has learnt to control it, to use it. When she sees that in others, it’s familiar, and she is pushed to drop the front, and be very real with the person. Underdogs I suppose, people who get bad reps, but deserve the same as everyone else. She can’t ignore it.

Once you start to pry open her personality, you’ll find she’s a lot more laid back and fun than originally appeared, you just have to work hard to find that side of her. She will meme reference, can’t dance to save her life, loves her coffee, and can be caught in quiet contemplation while gardening. This hobby is her calmest, and often is why she can stay so level headed when her quiet rage boils up again. Without time outside she will become grouchy, a little snippy, and lethargic. Will not go in the ocean for any reason other than life or death, is fine with ponds and rivers, or water at wading height. Likes the rain.

With regards to her training others, they usually have to tolerate her somewhat strict nature. She is a little....unforgiving, holds a grudge if you make a lot of mistakes, and has no tolerance for ignorance in the age of information that we all live in. In previous posts I’ve mentioned she’s only recently selected two students, after many years of testing kids who want to learn from her. Hundred tried out, only two have ever been approved. How she teaches is very fast paced, be prepared to get some scrapes and bruises, she will test your physical and emotional tolerances with intense tasks, carefully watching students like a hawk. Bad posture in your stance? She’ll be the first to tell you to sort it out. Not hearing your Pokemon partner? Right, now you spend the day without using words trying to communicate, let’s see how you like not being listened to.

This is a woman who has spent her life saying very little, and watching everything, she watches Pokemon and can see an issue from a mile off, and in battles, her observations are why she can react fast, and chose effective strategy to avoid damage and achieve results. Don’t let her body fool you, her strongest asset is analysing, watching, planning. Those skills have over the years transferred to people too. As a student, mistakes don’t go unnoticed with this professor.

Her methods are harsh but fair, and should you prove yourself, she will protect you with her life.

Because of her disinterest in kids and lots of noise, she does pass the training of students on to the other staff members whenever possible. Grey takes on the lions share of battle lessons, he is far calmer, more open and friendly, with patience for people, and an empathy that peach sometimes struggles to have. When you go through a lot of harsh training, and difficult events, it’s hard to change how you feel or think, with peach, well, she’s been through it. Most do not come out the other end in one piece, but she did, and it made her strong. You may think I mean strong like buff and big, and yeah sure she is, but I mean it mentally more than anything. Peach will not quit. She has learnt to destroy the boundaries that stop people getting hurt, gone is the fear that freezes you in your tracks, that feeling that you’ll pass out if you go one more step. She’s learnt to ignore it.

This means she’s a little forgetful at how it is to be normal, to be vulnerable and soft and squishy like students so usually are.

She has her issues, but for the most part, visitors get a laugh, a smile, a calm assertive confidence, and facts. She will indulge those who have genuine interest, or show a connection with nature, an understanding of the balance that needs to be struck for everyone to live well together.

Despite her many flaws, she’s fiercely protective, and will go above and beyond to defend the island, it’s staff, the Pokemon and the visitors. Injustice is her biggest gripe, along with littering, and she doesn’t stand by quietly if something happens that seems unfair.

You will not see her without Valka, her vulpix, close by. That Pokemon doesn’t like to be touched by strangers, at all, and will run the second someone comes at her with that intent. Peach will scold you for pushing yourself onto her, should you persistently try to get close to pet Val. They are in sync, if peach is sad, Val is sad, if Val is stressed, peach is stressed, and so on. They are inherently connected, it’s just been that long, the psychic bridge between them has been built, and reinforced over the years.

The only other Pokemon who follows her so endlessly is Booker, a teddiursa who’s pretty rough looking. He quietly trots behind, grouchy and stoic, they fight closely together a lot. He lost his mom a long time ago to poachers, and peach took him in, and changed her whole life for him. Not many people know, but Booker was the reason she left the rangers, changed career, and got so strong. Will tolerate people petting him but isn’t keen at all, grumbles a lot and tries to move away.

You may also need to know about the others, for the sake of writing, she here a few more bits that may be important to you, or others wanting to do this.

Grey is very tall, very burly, composed, tells bad dad jokes, is a bit of a goof if allowed to be. If he sees a pun, he’ll say it. Can’t help himself. Very nice guy to work with, good at keeping people calm and grounded. Pokemon are drawn to him like a moth to a flame, he gives off warm energy, and has inhuman amounts of patience. If you wrong his family however, he will snap back.

He grew up in the city, loves to swim and hike and cycle, can snowboard, is really sporty. A total brain box with held items, and boosting stats. He will explore many paths, to make sure visitors and students get the information they need, in a way that can be remembered and retained for later. Is a huge guy, but will get on the floor to play with a tiny Pokemon. Treats big “meaner” looking species like babies, very good with all pokemon.

His free time is spent either tinkering, swimming, or trimming his bonsai trees. This guy stares at screens a lot, so appreciates time away from them. Peach built him his own little greenhouse for his trees and tools, which he keeps clean and loves dearly.

His methods as a teacher are built around fun and games, he makes hard work easier to do by distracting trainers from the difficult bits, and focusing in on something more interesting or compelling.

His most commonly seen Pokemon would be a houndoom, Saxon, old battle veteran, retired now to herding and being a good boy. Very gentle, loves a pet.

Pari, now a fully fledged nurse, often oversees the labs front desk and pokecentre features, such as healing pokemon, and informing trainers who come to visit. Her skills with eggs and hatchlings is high, she’s great with younger Pokemon, and hands out good advice to trainers a lot. She’s not a fighter, never was, but can find any file, any study, any book, and any refrence you may need. A true bookworm, loves her romance novels, chat shows and upbeat celebrity gossip mags. Will cry at a lot of stuff, be it sad or happy.

She’s got a seriously upbeat personality, but if caught off guard or shocked, she gets a little flustered. Too much chaos will overwhelm her, but usually she’s on top of things. The years spent on the island have made her better at maintaining composure in emergencies. With lots of siblings, she’s very competent with others, and has a good ability to disarm cagey people with her jolly nature. Because of this, she can sometimes gain information from trainers that some of the more harsh professors may not have access to. Charming is a word for it.

Her partners are an eevee, and a happiny. They are quite sweet and well adjusted, the eevee gets a bit bouncy if you get it too excited.

#if you dont want to use the refs #im really cool with it #just enjoy yourself buddy #pokemon #prof.peach #peach talks #prof.grey #pari #dotaku island #dotaku staff #PLEASE #just ask me if you dont know something #or feel i missed something in what i wrote

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Maladaptive Coping.”

This idea was given to me by a good friend of mine 

*WARNING* This issue of Krill’s journal contains literally ALL of the things that might bother you. Every self destructive behavior I could think of is mentioned in this piece. So PLEASE do not read it if there is even the slightest chance that it may bother you. I wont list everything here, and trust you to make your own decision on weather it is a good idea for you to read this or not. 

Also, a important note is that this is from an aliens perspective, and so does not contain every last nuance of these behaviors and the reasons behind them. I hope those of you who read a great day, and those who don’t read a great day as well! :)

The Journal of Xenomedical Biology 

Author: Dr. Krill of the Vrul 

The Human Manifestation of Self destructive Tendencies and Their Signs.

Over the past few years of studying and learning to understand humans, It has come to the attention of the medical community that humans are the most volatile species, psychologically. This is not meant as negative commentary on human issues as it might seem, but merely an observation that humans have the most widely varied pattern of psychological maladaptive responses when it comes to stress and related mental illness. Where each other species tends to have only two or three typical maladaptive responses, humans have been known to have analogous representations of all known mental abnormalities.

Now this journal is not specifically about all the ways the human brain can go wrong, but more accurately about the maladaptive response I have seen in humans over the past few years primarily demonstrating self destructive behaviors in one way or another.

You might notice an interesting pattern in my analysis today that clearly demonstrates a repetitive contradictory pattern in human self destructive tendencies, which will demonstrate just how varied and widely differing their responses can be.

First, humans have socially destructive behavior.which can come in many forms.

Withdrawal: from friends or close loved ones is a common self destructive behavior to look for in humans. This can happen on a large or small scale where the human withdraws for hours or even years. As a social species, humans find social interaction important, even if that is only remote communications with other humans. If that human begins to withdraw suddenly or even gradually over time, I might suggest being concerned about their well- being.

Now here is where the contradictions come into play, and forgive me if some of these social behaviors also overlap with the physical behaviors, with humans, they are often one in the same.

Increased socially dangerous behavior: now this may account for many things. Some humans will fall into a downward spiral where they surround themselves with other like minded humans and participate in dangerous physical activities, which I will discuss later

Increased partners: Now, while this behavior may be common for many humans, and could be argued as a physical behavior, there is cause for concern if a human suddenly increases the number of physical partners from their average. This usually accompanies reckless social behavior like not meeting the partner first before entering into a physical relationship, doing this on multiple occasions and might also be connected with the following -

Staying with an objectively horrible partner: now it is hard to identify why some humans do this, but often humans will choose a partner who is objectively horrible to them either physically or emotionally. Sometimes humans do this because they are afraid of the repercussions, are afraid of being alone, or they have been convinced that there is no other possible person out there who might love them. Humans put a lot of stock into physical relationships and many of them would rather be with someone horrible than be alone. Due to their social nature many humans put social interaction and partnership over their safety and mental health. If you see a human participating in this behavior, it is advised to get them help,even if the human does not want it. They deserve more than being treated horribly.

Now on occasion two humans in a downward spiral might come together and create a codependent relationship where they cannot function without one another. What the other human does the oher will follow and this can lead them both into a spiral of horrible physical and mental behaviors that will cause anguish in the long term. If one of them is involved with drugs, the other will follow etc.

Now some humans might even participate in self destructive behaviors that look good from an outside perspective. For instance, it is a common occurrence that humans overwork themselves to the point of burnout. Often humans throw themselves into their work to distract their minds and avoid the pain of something else, thi may include memories or having to return to an environment where they do not wish to go. These humans will work many hours and sacrifice their social lives to do more work, causing long term stress that can lead to heart attack stroke and other physical diseases related to increased stress and heightened blood pressure. Some humans may participate in this behavior as a way to prove themselves to others, that they are either competent or hard working.

On the flipside of this there are other humans who may just stop working at all. They let everything in their lives fall apart, and stop doing anything of note causing them to lose their jobs, their hobbies, their families and their friends. This one is often related to a withdrawal from other people and might include elements of physical recklessness like drug abuse.

Secondly and including a much wider range of self destructive behaviors, we see the physical manifestations of this phenomenon which vary widely and tend to come in opposing pairs..

Overheating and undereating: are two very common forms of stress response from humans. If humans have conditioned to see food as a reward for behavior or as a comforting mechanism (oten developed in childhood) they will eat in order to comfort themselves and to the point where it is adversely affecting their physical health. They may eat even if they are not hungry or if they are actively full. Some humans experience digestive issues while under stress and may even refuse to eat at all. There are other extreme cases where humans, usually in response to a perceived lack of control, will regulate their food intake to the point of starvation or other food related disorders.

This is closely related to over exercising, and also has links with a perceived lack of control in their life. These humans, often paired with restricted eating, will push themselves to their physical limit to control their own bodies as a form of having a hold on their own lives. This paired with restricted calories can cause an untold amount of damage both physically and metnally. Mental disorders linked to these behaviors are known to be the most deadly of disorders known to humans.

The consumption of Drugs and Alcohol

This is a very common and often overlooked  behavior in humans. Drinking is the consumption of beverages that contain Ethanol, which when reacting in the human brain causes, extreme mental degradation related to fuzziness and euphoria. Humans find this a pleasant feeling though it causes damage to many internal structures most primarily the liver. Unfortunately drinking is seen as a socially acceptable behavior with humans and so excessive drinking is often caught too late or not called out at all. These humans may drink from the beginning to the end of the day and will build up a tolerance to alcohol amounts that would kill another human. They build up an immunity to the point where they need larger and larger doses to feel the same effects. They will often neglect their social connections including friends and family for a chance with the bottle.

This is the same with other illicit drugs, which may have even more severe effects on the person and my lead to drug induced psychosis. Both substances are highly addictive to the point where a human may commit horrible acts like murder, robbery, etc to get the drugs that they crave. This is usually in response to some sort of mental anguish they are trying to drown out but may be related to them becoming hooked on drugs they needed after surgery. On rare occasions, this behavior began in conjunction with destructive social behaviors which lead them down into a spiral.

Excessive partying is often paired with drug use and an increased amount of intimate partners. Many humans who have fallen into this spiral might refuse to admit that they are spiraling at all. Generally limited use of a substance can be acceptable for a human, but there are plenty of other chemicals that should not be consumed at all.

There are even some drugs that are known to be mild on the user but may cause emotional dependence. These drugs are not known to cause physical dependance, but the human can convince themselves that they require the drug to function emotionally during the day and will neglect their family, friends and lives in order to spend more time with their drug of choice Again you will see the withdrawal from social contacts as an extreme warning sign in humans.

Sleeping too much or not sleeping at all:A human getting enough sleep is important for their mental health but sleeping too much is proven to throw off circadian rhythms and increase chances of depression or worsening depression. Humans require an amount of sleep that is no more or no less than what they need. Many humans will claim to not be getting enough sleep because they feel tired, when in reality their oversleeping causes grogginess and reduced amount of energy though it might seem counter intuitive.  On the other hand humans might refuse to sleep at all, instead occupying their time with some other activity. It is important to remember though that an inability to sleep might also be insomnia, and the human hs no choices in the matter. I find that humans, in general, are horrible at regulating a proper healthy sleep schedule.

Participation in dangerous hobbies. Now, I understand that this is common for many humans and does not indicate self destructive behavior, but I would consider noting when a human suddenly involves themselves in dangerous hobbies after not participating for a long time, especially when that human is not careful and doesnt take time to properly consider safety protocols. 

Another very common one is humans causing intentional physical harm to themselves. This comes in levels of severity and I would say that most humans do this to some degree or another. Often these are connected to nervous ticks or even learned behaviors from childhood. This can include, picking scabs, biting nails, picking at the skin of the thumbs or the lips, pilling hair, and biting the inside of the cheeks. These smaller behaviors are usually minor and do not require attention, they may cause scarring but are not generally connected to extreme mental anguish.

However, these behaviors can escalate dramatically to the use of knives and razors. This behavior is EXTREMELY maladaptive and indicates severe mental anguish and trauma and must be addressed immediately. These behaviors might escalate and be linked to loss of life by the human’s own hand. I have not witnessed this personally, and I never intend to as I keep a very close eye on my humans.

#HUMANS ARE WERID #humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are insane #humans are deathworlders #earth is a deathworld #Earth is space Ausralia #humans are space oddities

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man. ( Taehyung x Oc)

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst. 

Chapter 1

Chapter 2  ~ Its okay to want something to end and also be sad that its ending. 

With infidelity, its never black and white. 

There’s different kinds of infidelity and you can’t ever say which is worse. That depends entirely on the people involved and the values they hold dear. What may be a small indiscretion to someone, may well be an unforgivable act of betrayal to someone else.

 And that’s fine. People aren’t one dimensional. We can’t all have the same perspective. 

So infidelity is also never one dimensional. 

Sometimes its a one night stand. Something done and forgotten. Discarded from the mind like the used condom in the motel room floor. 

Sometimes its a dear friend who betrays you, your best friend who apparently always had a thing for your husband and felt perfectly fine making a move on him. That one stings . Because you lose two people. Two very important people at the same time. 

Sometimes its a coworker, someone who stays by their side majority of the day. Who offers a sympathetic ear when your husband wants to relax.

Sometimes men just fall out of love and are too much of a coward to say it out loud, opting to cheat on you instead. 

Sometimes, they are jealous, of your career, of your kid, or your friends. Too lazy to win your affection they go find satisfaction in some one else’s bed. 

Sometimes it never even gets physical. Sometimes its just someone catfishing your husband or sending him nudes.

And sometimes, its an emotional connection. They actually fall deeply in love with someone else and I think, for most women, that would be the one that would sting the most. 

With Taehyung, it had been a night of drinking. He had had one drink too many, had tumbled into bed with some trainee a decade younger and had broken our marriage vows. 

Not really a very thought out or planned mistake. He hadn’t cheated with the intent to cheat. He had just been too drunk to know better. 

So, why did I leave him?

Because it hadn’t been about the cheating. 

It had been the drinking. 

When we first met, Taehyung couldn’t hold his liquor. Not that it mattered because he didn’t like it all that much. Didn’t mind sipping juice when other’s nursed beers. 

But as he grew older, as he grew more successful, he had started accepting drinks from producers and directors and fellow actors... Because, it was rude not to and Kim Taehyung was nothing if not the personification of politeness. 

 His tolerance hadn’t increased but his drinking had and that was a bad combo. 

:”You need to stop doing this Tae. You can’t just come home black out drunk, every time you have an after party.... You’re going to hurt yourself or god forbid someone else... some day and I’m not going to sit here and wait for you to wreck your entire life over a stupid drink....” 

It was a speech I had made way too many times. The words recycled and reframed, and rearranged to try and give them more  weight , to help him realize how  serious  the issue was. To help him understand that what he was risking, it wasn’t just his reputation. It was his entire career, his  life  if he somehow got behind a wheel someday. 

And Taehyung, who had won a bunch of Daesangs for his acting always convinced me that he understood what I was trying to say. That he understood the magnitude of my words and would heed them the next time. 

So really, what people didn’t understand was that....

That evening, when he stood in front of me and said that he slept with another woman because he got drunk out of his mind, it wasn’t the sleeping with the girl that had bothered me. ( at least not that much. it hurt of course but it wasn’t that strong. it stemmed more from a place of “why didn’t you just ask someone to drive you home, you idiot.”.. rather than, “ how dare you sleep with another woman?”  ) 

It was the got drunk out of my mind thing. 

That was what I ended my marriage over. 

That was it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The details were hashed out easily and I didn’t particularly protest or change anything. Taehyung suggested an equal division of assets and I quickly disagreed. I wasn’t exactly poor. I worked as the Head of Marketing in a successful conglomerate. I had no use for excessive amounts of money. After some debate we agreed on setting up a trust fund for Hoshi with the money. He could use it after he turned twenty five. 

And then came the next part. 

Compensation for physical / Mental Damage. 

I felt like i was spiraling. 

“None On my side. None.” Taehyung said quickly and I swallowed. 

Ms Lee gave me an encouraging smile. 

“You can be honest Mrs Kim. We’re trying to go for a clean break between the two of you without any resentment carrying over. So its best to be honest. If you feel you need recompense for any emotional distress or abuse Mr. Kim may have put you through, you’re free to tell me. I’ll make sure it goes into record.” 

And this was why I hated the idea of getting divorce. 

That entire dialogue had sounded so...so... terrible. So accusatory and ugly. It wasn’t at all the way I felt about my husband. 

It was just hurt. Plain and simple hurt because he didn’t take me seriously. Because he didn’t think my words were worth listening to. It was hurt laced with fear because he was putting himself in danger with his reckless actions and I wanted him to stop. That’s all it was. 

It was hurt. 

Taehyung had hurt me but it wasn’t emotional distress. It sure as hell hadn’t been abuse.

“None for me either.” I said firmly, honest . 

I glanced at my husband, trying to tell him that I wasn’t just saying it. That it was true. I really didn’t want him to pay me money for what had happened. 

But, Taehyung wouldn’t meet my eyes.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung signed over full custody of Hoshi with a smile. 

“I trust you. “ He said quietly, penning his initials carefully on the document. 

I nodded, feeling a little like drowning.

 We had a very comfortable way of doing things as far as our son was concerned. Taehyung got Hoshi anytime he had time off and also on weekends. 

With a very shifting schedule it was hard for Taehyung to pin down exact dates so we had long decided we would make things easier for each other. He would call me a day or so in advance and i would drop him off at Taehyung’s penthouse or the company. Special days like birthdays were always celebrated in a neutral place with both parties attending. 

Hoshi loved it because it was a pleasant surprise for him, when his dad swooped in out of nowhere and took him off to amusement parks or arcades or swimming. He loved Taehyung . 

So the visitation rights were easy to sketch out. 

It was nothing new but to have it all put down on paper and initialed and notarized....it just felt invasive. Some judge somewhere would read all about how my marriage had crumbled to ashes and would pass judgment on me and that just felt odd. 

 Like airing your dirty laundry. Like letting strangers into your bedroom. 

And the worst part was this :   I felt myself getting upset , anytime Ms. Lee gave the slightest negative connotation to Taehyung’s actions or responsibilities. Anytime she tried to imply that he couldn’t be neglectful as  a father, I wanted to jump right up and defend him. To tell her that he was a better father than the ones who lived 24/7 with their kids and didn’t know a damn thing about them. 

That even as my husband,  he had been so good to me. Had treated me like his best friend, his confidante, his lover. Had never shied away from showing me how much he loved me. Had been the best husband in the whole entire world. 

And I hated myself for it. 

What was wrong with me? 

Why was  I still so fiercely protective of him, I wondered. I hated the idea of him being criticized by anyone for any of it.

 And it made feel like such a hypocrite because if he was so amazing, why on earth were we here??

Why on earth were we getting a divorce if Kim Taehyung was husband and father of the fucking Year?!! 

Was I making a mistake? Had I made a mistake? 

It confused me. These feelings that just refused to go away. I would never act on them because therein lay the path to misery but why were they still there? 

 This desperate clawing urge to make sure he came out of this whole debacle as a good guy. To make sure no one would brand him as a cheater . Because they would. When the divorce went public, they would dig things up and they would know. 

 I didn’t know how I’d gotten to this point where , I could somehow forget everything that was wrong, simply because I wanted to focus on what felt wrong....

Technically I should be happy. 

Taehyung did something unpardonable ( for me, at the time. Now I wasn’t so sure. Now I felt like I could forgive him for it but he hadn’t asked for forgiveness. What he’d asked for was a divorce.  ) and I left him. We were separated . And now finally we were getting a divorce. 

Divorce meant we could finally get out of this no man’s land of uncertainty where we had hung for two whole years and move on, from each other and finally give a label to where we stood. Exes. We were exes. We were done. It was over. 

Hadn’t I just yelled about him about how I liked labels? 

And yet, 

This entire divorce  felt so wrong. So unnecessary.

And in a moment of clarity, as I watched Ms Lee read he whole thing over again for our benefit, I realized why it felt wrong. 

It felt wrong because Taehyung was the one who wanted it. 

Why did Taehyung want it? What had made him want to end it, officially?

Was he seeing someone else? Was he considering seeing someone else? Did he want to start enjoying the single lifestyle again? 

Did he finally take a good long look at our marriage and found nothing worth salvaging anymore? 

My head ached. 

 I couldn’t wait for the whole thing to be over. And yet my heart broke at the thought of it. 

Ms Lee finally gathered up all the documents and gave us a wide smile.

“I wish every client I had was this reasonable. You two are a delight .” she shook her head. “ Should we get a drink to celebrate a day well spent?” 

I opened my mouth to accept when Taehyung said, “  Sure, but it would have to be a juice for me. I don’t drink.” 

I felt my heart take a swoop, nosediving to my knees. 

I stared at him, stunned speechless. 

“Haven’t had a drink in two years Mia. I’m done with that shit.” He said softly.

I swallowed. 

“I didn’t know that.” I felt miserable all of a sudden, the weight of what we had just done pressing down on my heart like a 200 pound stone, 

His gaze held mine.

“There’s a lot you don’t know.” 

We stood staring at each other in silence and Ms. Lee cleared her throat. 

“Uh... I just got a text from my next client. Maybe raincheck on the drinks? “

I nodded , watching her leave. Thank you i wanted to say, but for what?

 For ending my marriage of eight fucking years? 

And how ridiculous that very thought was. ..... She hadn’t ended our marriage,   I had. 

“I have the next two days off.” He said casually. 

“You can pick Hoshi up from my mom’s place. I need to head back to the office.” I muttered, choking a little on tears that had sprung out of nowhere. . 

“Hey.” his fingers closed over my wrists tugging me gently and I let myself get pulled into his arms. I hugged him, feeling my tears soak through the fabric of his shirt. 

“I’m sorry it has to be this way.” I choked out. 

He stroked the back of my head gently.

“Me too. “ He pressed a kiss to my hair and it only made me feel worse.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : Tae is 35, OC is 32 

#taehyung smut #taehyung fics #taehyung fanfic #taehyung #taehyung fanfics #bts fanfics #bts smut #bts fanfic

[azucanela]

chapter iv

pairing: bakugou katsuki x fem!reader

summary: the internet is enamored with the idea of y/n l/n and bakugou katsuki, two renowned pro heroes, dating. the first issue? the pair rarely interacts. the second issue? apparently, they hate each other, not that anyone knows about that bit. of course, after one night of many mistakes, the whole world knows.

warnings: mentions of blood. violence. injuries. cursing. 

word count: 2k

[series masterlist] [wattpad] [ao3]

THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM. Y/N really doesn’t want to be dealing with this right now, this is literally the last thing she wants to be dealing with right now. She has half the mind to just disappear into the shadows using Telen’s quirk, seeing as she hadn’t returned it yet. 

‘Returned’ probably isn’t the best way to put it, after all he can still use his quirk but… she’s never really had a different way to explain it. But, Y/N is capable of using his quirk until she’s returned it to him, meaning his pain is hers and so is his quirk for the time being. Not that it matters right now, because she’s currently staring down Bakugou, who looks just as shocked as she does. 

“What are you doing here?” She finally asks, scowling. 

In response, Bakugou is rolling his eyes, allowing the door to shut behind him. “You don’t own this café,” he grumbles out.

That was actually incorrect, Y/N had bought the set of buildings on this street to make sure that the café wouldn’t go out of business, she was sentimental in that manner Meaning she technically had authorization to kick him out, something Bakugou seems to catch onto as his eyes narrow at her, “of course you do.” 

Y/N scoffs, looking away from him, “only legally. I have too much respect for Rosalyn to tell her what to do with her business.” She waves him off, “they’re getting something from the back, you’ll have to wait.” Y/N finds that she’s wishing she had a little bit less respect for Rosalyn, because maybe then she would have the guts to kick Bakugou out.

Bakugou says nothing, simply eyeing Y/N as he moves to grab a bag of chips from the stand, awkwardly standing by the cash register he waited for them to return. Of course, Y/N had a feeling they wouldn’t be returning anytime soon at this point. She wouldn’t be shocked if Lily had done something to make this happen, all to torture Y/N.

Although Lorelai might consider this the perfect time to apologize, Y/N finds it her personal hell. And she’s fairly sure Bakugou has the same sentiments as she begins to tap her foot rhythmically against the floor. The space is silent aside from that, and Y/N almost wishes a stranger would come in and end her misery.

A sudden pain courses through her, and Y/N’s brows furrow as her mouth gapes open slightly, hand coming to her stomach, though her thoughts are interrupted as Bakugou snaps, “could you quit tapping your damn foot?”

And Y/N does stop, but not because he asked, instead to say, “you can always leave.” There’s a sarcastic smile on her face as she glances at him, preparing to continue tapping her foot despite the throbbing that had appeared in her leg as well. 

If Y/N had to guess, something had happened to Telen. But that wasn’t necessarily out of the ordinary in hero work, and given how high profile Hawks’ agency was, they had a healer on call. She had no doubt that whatever injury he’d somehow sustained, he would be fine. And yet, Y/N can’t help the frown that washes over her, a certain fear and anxiety that definitely doesn’t belong to her suddenly drowning her senses. 

Y/N is about to make a phone call when she hears Bakugou, “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

She’s about to make some sort of witty comment in response, only to see that he’s looking outside, where the presence of paparazzi has become apparent. Though they hadn’t started their mobs yet, any trained Pro Hero was well aware when they were being followed. Despite attempts to hide, Y/N could easily see that there were several people hidden throughout the area, trying to catch pictures of the famed Y/N L/N and Bakugou Katsuki together.

They were probably hoping the pair would start arguing, maybe even get into a physical fight knowing Bakugou. Though, if that did happen, Y/N was fairly sure Lorelai would have her head. 

That and the fact that the shippers on Twitter were going to love this. But Y/N certainly wasn’t, scoffing as she came to a stand, “did they follow you here?” Her tone is accusatory, she knows that. But if Y/N is honest, she has no shame being upfront about her emotions with Bakugou, not anymore. 

He glares at her once more in response, placing his order down more roughly than necessary, “obviously not. If anything it was you they followed here.”

Y/N comes to a stand, inhaling deeply as she reminds herself that she and Bakugou are currently the stars of the show that is the media. Everyone who's anyone, and anybody that’s a nobody wants to bear witness to their interactions if it means advancing their career. And Y/N has no intent of further damaging her reputation, or giving the media the easy way out.

Though she wouldn’t mind putting an additional dent in Bakugou’s already horrid reputation, there were bigger things than that. And at the end of the day, they were stuck together for the time being, until things died down that is.

So, Y/N finds herself heading over to the counter with her items in hand– discarding them behind the register to make sure that Lily would hold onto them for her— before looking to Bakugou, “we need to leave, now.”

Bakugou is frowning, eyes falling on his order, but he simply nods as he returns his gaze to Y/N, “and how do you suppose we do that?”

While she’s grateful he elected not to argue— probably because he’s well-aware of his own dwindling reputation and wants to salvage whatever he can, like the selfish bastard he is— Y/N finds herself narrowing her eyes at him, simply turning around and gesturing for him to follow her, “come with me.”

“What, we can’t just go out the front door?” 

She’s not shocked by his proposition, though Y/N is also aware that Bakugou isn’t a fool. He may be impulsive at times, and extremely confrontational to a fault, but he was not an idiot. Even if he seemed to be just some annoying brute.

Y/N glances back at Bakugou, looking to him incredulously, “the moment we step outside, we will be bombarded with questions.” A bitter laugh escapes her, “and we both know how you’ll probably respond to that.”

“Oh so this is my fault?” He asks, taking a few steps closer. 

Bringing a hand to her temple, Y/N looks up to him, “we don’t have time for this.” Comes her response, “either you come with me, or I leave without you.”

With that, Y/N turns on her heel, hand shoved into her pocket as she pulls out a set of keys and begins to flip through them in search of the right one. She can feel Bakugou’s eyes on her as she finally finds the right key, the one that leads to the hallway behind the second staff door. Most people don't have access because if you take a wrong turn you’ll end up in the studio apartment of the owners. But, if you continue down the hallway, there’s an exit into the alleyway that Y/N intended to take.

Finally, she pushes the door open. Y/N doesn’t bother to look back as she steps inside the hallway, dimly lit, in fact some of the lights are even flickering. But she can see the bright red ‘EXIT’ sign not too far away. 

Y/N doesn’t hear the door click shut, and with a sigh she turns back to see Bakugou had planted his foot in the door, kicking it open while his hands remained shoved into his pockets. Wordlessly, he stepped inside, and Y/N simply returned her gaze to the exit.

Until another spike of pain coursed through her. Her steps falter, though Y/N manages to catch herself on the wall, hand planted firmly there as she inhales deeply. 

To be fair, the average person would’ve passed out from the pain by now, and Y/N didn’t have her hero suit to help cushion the blows of pain nor was she necessarily prepared for sudden pain— she wasn’t in battle. Though her pain tolerance is high enough that it's manageable.

Bakugou seems to notice, no— he definitely notices. Looking to her pensively as he pauses behind her, Y/N doesn’t want to meet his eyes as she huffs, pushing off the wall. “Let’s go.” 

He says nothing, and Y/N is grateful as they continue down the hall.

It’s a short walk to the actual exit, but Y/N’s head is pounding so she doesn’t really notice anything out of the ordinary until Bakugou’s arm comes to stop her. She bumps into it, frowning as she looks up to him ready to speak in protest, to yell at him for touching her— though there's no skin to skin contact so she doesn’t really have much to worry about yet. 

Until she realizes blood is coming from under the door. Evidently, she had a lot to worry about.

Y/N looks up to Bakugou, offering him a nod that he returns. A silent communication between the pair which brings Bakugou to press his separate hand against the door, brows drawing together before he rapidly pushes the door open and the pair steps out into the alley.

And there lies the body of Pro Hero Telen. Y/N recognizes him instantly, and it makes sense given how badly her body is throbbing with pain. 

Her mouth gapes open, but Y/N is no fool as her back meets Bakugou’s, each of them surveying the area for the hero’s attacker. 

But there’s no one to be found. 

Y/N looks back to Bakugou, who simply nods, prompting Y/N to drop to her knees despite the blood that begins to seep through her clothes. Eyes falling on Telen as a hand comes to his chest. Nobody has ever died while Y/N was using their power, and if Y/N had to guess, Telen was still alive. There was no need for her to check for a pulse, simple as that. 

“He’s alive. Call for backup.”

When Bakugou doesn’t reply, Y/N turns, and she can see the explosions sparking in his palms but there are no enemies nearby. But Y/N recognizes the look on his face, the frustration, the anger. But he’s not angry with anyone other than himself right now. 

“Bakugou.” She repeats, an attempt to pull him out of his thoughts. They don’t have time to be distracted right now. While the attacker clearly isn’t around right now, there was a possibility he’d return. Not that Y/N was too worried, if they had any sense of bloodlust, she’d notice them.

He inhales sharply, simply nodding stiffly once more before pulling out his phone. But all Bakugou can think about is the fact that the Stain Copycat was here, and they’d targeted a member of Hawks’ Agency. The Number 2 Hero. Which meant whoever it was, they were getting bolder, and even worse, two of the best upcoming Pro Heroes were just next door and they hadn’t even noticed.

Even if the new Hero Killer had failed to finish the job, it didn’t matter. This would be a sign to all. A bad one. A message even. It felt as though this copycat was mocking him with every move. 

The only thing that Y/N can think about, is how dark this alley is, how easy it should’ve been for Telen to escape from his attacker. Which can only mean one of two things, the perpetrator had done something to prevent Telen from escaping into the shadows. Or, it was someone he trusted enough that he hadn’t felt the need to. Not until it was too late, that is. 

This was a problem. A big problem.

note: short but eventful chapter? and look at me go, updating on an actual schedule thats a first!

#this is not the end series #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x you #bakugo katsuki x you #katsuki x you #bakugo x you #bakugou x you #katsuki bakugou x you #katsuki bakugo x you #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha x you #mha x you #bakugou katsuki series

[animeyanderelover]

What's about Kurapika with a Darling who is a member of the Genei Ryodan, but she is a original member that torture and kill the Kurta clan

...No words...

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, paranoia, kidnapping, harsh behavior, abusive behavior, controlling behavior, manipulation, sabotage, mind-breaking

s/o is from the Genei Ryodan

⛓That is quite literally a very toxic relationship to have considering that you killed and tortured his own clan, people he loved more than anything else. It makes Kurapika feeling beyond conflicted and it twists his feelings in a not good way. He finds himself constantly torn apart between hate and love for his darling which affects his mentality and the way he is treating his darling greatly. There are times where he tries to treat her nicely and like a real lover, but there are also moments where he grows incredibly bitter and almost hateful, making him act much more colder and harsh with her.

⛓One thing to start with is that he would have to either have to meet her before knowing who she is and maybe also before she knew who he is, meaning it happened before the York New auction, or he would capture her somewhat afterwards and keep her for some reasons alive, to get on informations for example. In either case it has to be said if his darling would just be a cold and heartless killer, he would kill her without a doubt, he hates the Phantom Troupe too much for that. So he has to see something more to her, that she has a heart and is kind, perhaps even apologizes for what she has done to him and his clan. That is of course no good, it doesn't bring him his people back. But it might show him over time that she is not a complete monster.

⛓Kurapika is...extremely irritated when discovering his feelings and it will end up being a bit of hell for his darling as well. That is if he would meet her for the first time during the Yorknew City arc and try to get on informations from her. In Kurapika's eyes every single member of the Phantom Troupe is evil, all are criminals and even if his view on you should change over time, he still tells himself that you're a villain who happens to carry a bit more humanity inside of you. But that's all and you still killed too many. It is one of those very few times where Kurapika refuses to admit his feelings and it leads him to lashing out on you, not understanding his feelings. Why? You are the person he trained to kill and hate his whole life. So why do you make him weak?

⛓It happens slowly, but at one point he will somewhat stop and his feelings will become more visible and more obvious for him as well as maybe you. He stops hurting you, though you might have a pretty high pain tolerance, not being able to inflict damage on you anymore and he can't bring himself to use his Judgement chain on you either, knowing that you will break the conditions he made for you which ends with you dying in the end, loyal to your members and your leader. Because personally think that if he would have used it on his darling from the start, she would have rather died than tell him anything, especially after he killed Uvogin and Pakunoda.

⛓That's why I feel that the whole meeting her before knowing who she is, is more likely, though even there I see troubles. To start with Kurapika will tell his darling at one point who he is and what his plans are, alarming her already which might lead to her distancing herself from him due to feeling not worthy of being friends with someone who she killed the whole family from without him knowing. What else would someone feel in such a situation? It might confuse Kurapika, especially if he already liked her a bit and saw her as a friend.

⛓And after finding out that she is from the Genei Ryodan, Kurapika is a pure mess of emotions and the thought of just having been friends with a criminal this whole time messes badly with his mind. Still though, he just can't bring himself to hurt her, especially not if she hesitates as well when facing him, not wanting to hurt himself either. Of course she would sacrifice her own life for Chrollo and the troupe, but as I said, Kurapika won' fall for someone plainly motionless and cruel, especially if this person killed everyone in his clan. So there might be a chance that all of this has a hard toll on the darling as well which leads her to just realizing that she can't bring herself to kill him nor be a help hor the troupe either. It might bring her to the point of despair where she might just ask him to kill her, not being able to live like this any longer.

⛓It makes Kurapika stop in his tracks, seeing it on the one hand as a chance to kill another member of the troupe, to slaughter all of them. But as soon as he tries to strike down, he just freezes, body shaking and emotions stirring up to the extent inside of him where he feels like throwing up at any moment.

⛓Instead of killing you, he kidnaps you, knocking you out and taking you with him, keeping you chained up as often as possible and also making sure that you stay unconscious as often as possible so you don't put up too much of a fight. Kurapika just doesn't know what to do with you at this point, he can't kill you nor can he let you go. So instead he takes you with him, imprisoning you somewhere whilst deciding afterwards what will happen with you. And even in here the first few weeks or even months will be hell. He has his outbursts, lashing verbally as well as maybe even physically out on you when being triggered too much.

⛓Kurapika feels more than anything just extremely betrayed from you, a person he thought he could trust which is why he grows extremely paranoid and doesn't want to let you out of his side, terrified you will do something and try to attack him. This is the reason why he might actually really just search for a way to get rid of your nen abilities, though he also knows that this would make you utterly helpless if you are being attacked by someone. He debates over this topic days and nights and if you really end up trying to escape and attacking him with your abilities, he'll do it.

⛓He is just desperate to find an excuse to why you are the way you are, stealing and killing, without having to see you as a bad person anymore. He wants to believe in something which might push him to the point of becoming partly delusional due to not bearing this knowledge whilst being aware. He might come up with this certain mood swings where he manages to convince himself that his darling was being forced to do all of this and that she's just being manipulated from all the othe members of the Phantom Troupe.

⛓Which is why Kurapika totally ends up wanting to break his darling's mind the one or another way, though he sees it more as helping her. Kurapika feels convinced that he only wants the best for his darling and wants to help her leaving the terrible past behind her, starting a new and better life which he wants to assist her with. And he becomes extremely pushy with it as well, desperate to make her switch sides and believe what he believes. Kurapika becomes an incredibly controlling, strict and manipulative person, constantly pushing his darling's buttons and forcing her to endure all of this. And if he knows that she feels guilty about what she has done, he will mercilessly strike and tell her in detail how he felt after his clan died and what she did to them, letting her recall those moments again. Kurapika becomes cruel, not necessarily physically, but more mentally since he tortures his darling. And whilst he does feel guilty when he manages to constantly break her, he never completely loses the grudge and bitterness he holds against her. He just justifies his behavior with saying that this is the only way to help you out of all of this.

⛓And even if you do start to love him and bend to his will, Kurapika will never truly trust you, his paranoia constantly telling him that all of this might just be an act and you will escape as soon as he trusts you and leaves you free space which is exactly why he is so controlling to start with. Next to that he is beyond horrified what might happen if the Phantom Troupe comes after you and either lures you back or ends up killing you because Kurapika also used the chance to squeeze as much informantions out of you as he could about them. Of course he does grow softer over time, but it is just visible that he'll never be able to calm completely down or treat his darling completely normally. He doesn't treat her bad, but when he has his times where he gets haunted from the death of his clan, his darling is not the best person to turn to since seeing her triggers extremely bad memories which is the reason why Kurapika sometimes just has to distance himself from her, literally not being able to stand the sight of her. It is in all honesty a relationship akin to bittersweet and deathly poison if you get what I mean.

#yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hxh #yandere kurapika #yandere kurapika kurta

[thefairyletters]

Ask me a ship and I'll tell you:

NaruSaku

Who proposed to the other first?

Naruto.

It took several practice sessions with Iruka (because Sasuke refused) pretending to be Sakura for Naruto to master the trick of kneeling and presenting the ring with an air of confidence. But when it mattered, Naruto tipped over his shoelaces (he never worn formal attire ever), accidently knocked over the table (somehow) and bumped straight into Sakura (some ninja he was), and that was how both got kicked out of the very expensive restaurant for causing ruckus.

But when Sakura said she thought "formal proposals were overrated anyway", he took her to Ichiraku, looked her dead in the eye while slurping on ramen, passed her the ring and popped the question illegibly.

Sakura understood anyway and threw a ring she brought for him on his face. She never said 'yes' but she didn't need to.

Who kissed the other first?

Naruto.

It was during a mission. They almost got caught by enemy guards (thanks to Naruto who doesn't know what it means to whisper) while they were following their target. Naruto did the only thing that would have possibly given them an edge. He pulled her to shade and initiated the kiss. Sakura only made sure they looked very convincing. Regardless to say, they got (kicked) out from the location, but without damage.

Later, this kiss inspired many more kisses that they began to steal from each other in the dark.

Who gives a good-morning kiss to other?

Sakura.

Although Naruto is always in bliss whenever Sakura stays night at his place and he is always up early if only to see her wake, it is Sakura who, when she wakes up, sleepily, kisses him first and gets out of the bed to prepare for the day. He always remain in bed until the shower is turned on.

Who likes to play with other's hair?

Naruto.

Between two of them, they both know it is Naruto's hair that is much softer to touch. It wasn't always like that of course.

But Naruto has always found Sakura's hair to be the prettiest thing he's ever seen. The way sunshine would turn it gold, and moonlight silver, has always amazed him. He would give special attention to her hair whenever they'd make love and cuddle. Once Sakura asked if he loved her only for her hair, which he doesn't refute, much to Sakura's chargin and amusement.

Who likes to play footsies?

Sakura.

There was something innately sexy about Sakura's arms and legs. It could be that she's got the best built – one that is lean and strong all the same – out of their peers. Naruto's breath hitch every time those legs brush his and her heels trace an imaginary line on his calves. They know they should focus on the meeting. They know it was inappropriate for a Hokage to be distracted in the middle of the what could be a very important meeting. But they also know his very playful and intelligent wife was adept at takes noting of everything. Everything.

Who is the dominant one?

Kurama.

As much as Sakura loves to be on the top, it becomes hard when a demon houses in your lover's body. More often than not, Kurama who more or less has become a part of their relationship would take over Naruto's body whenever Sakura would cross a particular threshold of dominance tolerated to her. Apparently, it was insulting for an alpha male like Kurama to be taken from above by a mere mortal woman, even if the said woman was his host's wife. Not that it was his body she was making love to in first place.

It's only because Naruto could feel everything even when Kurama takes his body that they put up with his sexism. Besides, Sakura doesn't mind.

Who likes to keep a picture of the other with them all the time?

Both.

They each wear a necklace bearing each other's photo inside, to remind themselves of the times they were missing out on, of their significant other waiting for them at return home, to keep them company for the late nights when they get too busy with their duties.

Who likes to buy the other gifts?

Naruto.

He always send his clones to get Sakura flowers to cheer her up on days he hears about loss in the hospital. He often requests Gaara for new poisons he knows Sakura will enjoy in her lab. He takes her out on dates even after years of marriage – particularly to that very expensive restaurant, where he had planned to propose to her, that had kicked them out. They act deliberately loud in that one, but they don't get kicked out of course. Nobody minds what you do when you have power.

Most days, they don't send gifts for one another not because they couldn't but because those things don't spark joy in the face of the brighter things. Like, when Sakura comes to pick him up from office after her late shift, knowing he would still be cooped up in his office because he lost track of time.

Who takes initiative in making physical contact?

Sakura.

She would hit him whenever he would make a mistake, forget something important, or skip meals. Then, next moment she would be patting him like he were a dog, kiss his woes away and be on her merry way. She would come to his office to check if he had his lunch, and would force feed him if he hadn't (more often than not). She would drag him out of his office if he isn't home by 12 or would stay and help him until the work is done. She wasn't gentle nor romantic by any stretch, but she would always touch him for one reason or other.

Who plans their dates?

Naruto.

His clones come in handy. They'd scout the area and report back their findings. Naruto would jot it all down, highlighting their specialities, an habit Shikamaru and Sakura drilled into him, and allows Sakura to make her choice for their next date. Life is simple for them when it comes to making choices. It is when they are together that life becomes exciting.

Who was shy on their first date?

Neither.

Their first date had been no different than any normal meetups they've had before. Except with lingering touches, an innocent kiss turned make up session, and a hug.

Who wakes up the other?

Before marriage: Naruto would wake up first and help Sakura get started on her day – would make her coffee just the way she liked, set her outfit out by the vanity, make sure her bag is set just so she doesn't miss her files, and make bath for them. He would join her on the bed, and wait for her to wake up so he could get his prize for his hardwork.

After marriage: They'd both be too exhausted to find energy in them to wake up. Sakura would be the first to get out of the bed, but only after giving Naruto his customary kiss, and would set bath for them. Her husband would still be lost to the world so she would carry his sleepy ass into bath and prepare him for the day so they could once again be on their way to face the world.

Who was shy in taking their relationship to next level?

Sakura.

When Naruto and Sakura engaged in a kiss that was more passionate than they ever experienced before, Sakura knew what was coming. Her mind was a turmoil of emotions that had nothing to do with the heat that flared inside her body.

Sakura was no stranger to kisses. She liked – no, loved – kissing Naruto senseless. She could think of hundred ways that could make Naruto respond to her with only a kiss, and she loved that he loved kissing her. But, her body was her vulnerability. She could think hard but still would draw blank if it's about telling one positive detail about her body. Naruto always looked at her like she was the only woman in the world – and while the sentiment was flattering, it meant expectations. She was terrified of disappointing him. She didn't want to consider the possibility of him finding her body undesirable. They were dating, not married. He had no ties to her, he was free to find someone who he'd be attracted to, a better life, with someone who'd be a lot, lot better than her. She loved him, and she knew he loved her, but the chances of her messing this up were astronomical and –

Naruto pulled away from the kiss to look at her, to understand why she froze in his arms. He didn't understand the reason behind her anxiety – why she would freeze whenever his hands would inch a little too close to her chest or a little below her hips – so he did what she really wanted him to: stop.

One night, Sakura murmured her fears into his ears and Naruto, who had never seen her look so timid and breakable, gave her what she needed the most: time.

Time until marriage so she wouldn't have a reason to be afraid.

Who hogs up the blankets in their sleep?

Naruto.

When it happened for the nth time, Sakura threatened to kick Naruto out of the bed with only his dear blankets to shelter him from cold. He nodded his consent of course, but it repeated the next day and the day after, too, but Sakura is nothing if not adaptable, so she has thus learnt to keep another blanket on her side of the bed so she doesn't die in her sleep on cold mornings.

Who is easy to get jealous?

Sakura.

You can't help some things from happening when your boyfriend-turned-husband is a war-hero, as Sakura learnt it one week into her dating him. While she isn't bothered per se – being considered quite a hit among men and popular across countries herself – but there is a bold line between people admiring your lover and people feeling up your lover.

It is only because her reputation and her glare which is known to promise suffering that people scurry away from Naruto whenever she is in the vicinity.

No, Sakura is just worried for Naruto. She knows her husband wouldn't try things if he knows what's best for him.

Who cooks in the house?

Naruto.

Sakura can't cook rice to save her life. Period. Everyone in team 7 is well-aware about her inability to be domestic in general. Naruto finds it endearing most of the times– times when she is not attempting to make him her test subject for her culinary experiments.

They don't need chef to make them dinner when they return home, Naruto always makes sure to send a clone to make them dinner. Sakura has more than once told him that she was the luckiest woman in the world to have him as her husband. He makes them fresh bentos through clones. He tries new recipes whenever he gets a day off and surprises Sakura with his skills. Their sundays involve just them and their kitchen.

Sakura still insists on making them dinner whenever she could. She learnt to make a decent ramen after a month long – disastrous – training from Ayame. Although Sakura always adds too much of something, Naruto always licks his bowl clean because to him her ramen is only second to Ichiraku.

Who 'protects' and who 'nurtures'?

Sakura protects him.

Naruto nurtures her.

.

.

.

(Ask me a ship! But not in the comments section lol)

#narusaku #narusaku is otp #i would write a fanfiction but im lazy #haruno sakura #sakura uzumaki #pro narusaku #i love these dorks #i have no idea why my english is so bad even after all the reading i do #narusaku family is great but in this list its just about them #i can't stress my love enough #sakunaru #what do you mean kurama plays no part in their relationship #he lives in naruto #he feels naruto #and he is male no matter what species #a little kurasaku #naruto fanfiction #naruto headcanons #im so glad that you asked for ns #naruto x sakura #naruto #ask me and i'll tell you #my headcanons #NS is full of fluff #sakura is insecure about her body #once naruto makes sure that insecurity is wiped away she pounces on him like a tigress she is

[madam-miss-fortune]

Reasons Why Harry Potter was Abused:

Alright, so, back then, orphanages were already gone. The foster system would have been the alternative to Harry being raised by the Dursleys, and...well.... That's no good. And the Dursleys most certainly did horribly abuse Harry. Especially with that threat.

Physical Abuse

It's canon that Dudley and his gang made a game called "Harry Hunting" where they chased Harry around and beat him if they caught him. It was bad enough that Harry apparated himself onto the school roof just to escape. Apparition is supposed to be difficult and there's a high risk of splinching. And considering Harry didn't know magic was real and shouldn't have known about apparition, it says a lot about how desperate he was. Imagine an elementary school kid suddenly getting into a car and driving without crashing. That's how rare and amazing it was. So it must have been pretty bad. Also, it was made fairly clear that Vernon and Petunia ignored this behaviour, if not outright encouraged it. And Vernon did wack Harry around a few times.

Also, Petunia smacked him with a frying pan at least once on the head. It could very well have been burning hot, but I'd need to consult the book for that. And you know that being hit with metal is ridiculously painful. There was also that time she cut all of his hair off except for the fringe without his permission, which would be considered a form of abuse, clearly.

And Marge canonically let Ripper chase Harry up a tree and poor Harry couldn't get down until midnight.

Emotional Abuse

They called him "boy" and "freak" all the time. For all we know, the fanfic trope of Harry not even knowing his name until he was school age was completely correct.

They told him that his parents were jobless drunks that died in a car crash and his mum was a prostitute. How was that not emotionally damaging?

They didn't care one bit about him and made that obvious by always leaving him out, screaming at him, and treating him like he was dirt under their shoes. And they taught Dudley this behaviour as well.

Physical Neglect

His bedroom was the cupboard under the stairs until he was 11. They only moved him when they thought they were being spied on. And they had two functioning bedrooms! A guest room and Dudley's second bedroom. Bloody hell....

He was thrown into the cupboard and kept there for days to weeks on end as punishment. He very likely didn't receive much food, or light either. The latter likely would have contributed to his poor eyesight. And he probably looked sickly pale, too.

I highly doubt he went to an eye doctor to get glasses, either. Petunia probably got them from the charity bin or something. And even if she didn't, they're years out of date. I have glasses myself, had them since I was 8 (but not the same pair, duh), and I need to get a new prescription every year. I'm getting a new one soon. Eyesight doesn't normally stop getting worse for people with bad eyesight until we're about 20-something. And Harry has always had the same iconic pair, which, by the way, kept getting broken and the Dursleys didn't care. That probably made his eyesight worse, too. Wearing the wrong prescription damages eyes.

He was fed very little. We know from COS and OOTP that Harry was fed only a little of stale soup and tea or whatever. I forgot. But I know that he gave most of it to Hedwig—the kind boy that he is. So he was very malnourished. And he wouldn't have been very tall either. He would have been short and skinny. He was probably as small as a first year for the longest time. And six school years of being fed well doesn't do much to combat 10 years of malnutrition, especially when Harry probably still ate only a little bit at a time to combat refeeding syndrome. And all that progress was destroyed every summer.

His clothing was only ever Dudley's cast-offs, and it was far too large for him. And considering how many presents they buy for Dudley every year, they have more than enough to support Harry, too.

They made him do chores, too. They forced him to make breakfast for them all when he was 11. Sure, yeah, at 11 I made breakfast for my siblings and I when my mom was still sleeping. But more often than not, she wanted to be there to supervise, even though she knows that I've always been perfectly fine cooking. Also, I wouldn't trust an 11-year-old to handle making bacon. Just saying. I'd watch that kid like a hawk. I only learned to make stuff like hamburgers when I was 13, though that was mostly because I wanted to learn and because my family is sexist, but I'm not getting into that.

Emotional Neglect

They hated him. Plain and simple. They ignored him on good days and screeched at him on particularly bad ones. There is one line in the book I distinctly remember. It's the one where Petunia woke Harry up on Dudley's birthday.

"Up! Get up! Now!"

Does that sound kind to you? No. She had rapped on the cupboard door, and I distinctly remember that Harry had to flick a spider off of a sock. What the fuck? And he was used to it!

Conclusion

I won't get into any more of this. I just can't. I've made my point clear. The Dursleys horrifically abused Harry and I'm fully of the belief that he would have been better off at an orphanage. And it's not like they wanted to take him in, either! Dumbledore left him on a doorstep in November with nothing more than a note. But that's another problem. And plenty of people are forced to take in kids they didn't ask for, but do they treat those children like shit? No! At least not all of them.

So, yes, the Dursleys did abuse Harry. His childhood was the stuff of nightmares. And I won't tolerate anyone saying that it "wasn't that bad" or "the Dursleys didn't want him in the first place". Because it was, and even though they didn't want him, that gave them no right to treat him as they did.

I know fanfiction loves to make the abuse worse, but they don't really need to. It's already extremely bad as it is. And I didn't even get into all the effects that this treatment had on Harry's mental state—or should have, at least. Rowling wanted an abused underdog that didn't have any symptoms of one. Damn her.

And I didn't even want to mention how Dudley was abused as well, just on a completely different spectrum than Harry. Any objective person that saw this treatment of both boys would have been extremely horrified and disgusted.

Alright, so, this is it. That's all I have to say.

#harry potter #abuse #childhood #child abuse #emotional abuse #physical abuse #neglect #emotional neglect #physical neglect #malnutrition #privet drive #dursleys #petunia dursley #vernon dursley #dudley dursley

[littleholmes]

As someone with a dad who was, to put it mildly, a shit dad in my youth and most of my life but is now trying to redeem himself in my late 20’s, this situation with the Todoroki family to me is so interesting in it’s depiction of the family’s varied reactions to endeavor over the course of these arcs, idk let me explain [mild spoilers for ch. 300 under the cut, tw for mentions of abuse and abandonment]

My mom is similar to Rei, unmoved by my dad’s tears when he receives consequences for his actions and unfazed by his attempts to be a better man decades after he left and she (my mom) divorced him. I have three significantly older half-siblings, two of which have written him off completely, one who is indifferent but keeps contact with him, and then there’s me. I have wavered since my late teens to now between Touya’s anger, Fuyumi’s care, Natsuo’s indifference, and Shouto’s irritated tolerance (I know their emotions aren’t as simply reduced to the above but that’s a whole separate post).

When I see Enji, I see my dad. While he wasn’t nearly as awful nor was he physically abusive like Enji, I still bear the trauma and metaphorical burns of his emotional (& verbal at times) abuse, his neglect when he was around, and his years of pure straight-up abandonment. He recognized me as his kid, as a tiny human he helped create who existed, when it was convenient. When I see Dabi, I see what he’s done in these last chapters as completely justified, particularly given the hero society as it is right now and how much of a pedestal they put heroes on. I would be livid if a society put my dad on a pedestal as a No. 2, now No. 1 hero, if kids were saying they wanted to be him when they grow up. To see that, and have society praising him as an amazing man when I know the horrible shit he did to me and my mom and his other kids? That would be upsetting at the least and traumatic at worst. So Touya pulling out the truth to ruin his reputation? I don’t blame him.

Now when I see Fuyumi and her previous attempts to bridge the divide so to speak and play nice, I understand that too. I cling to the crumbs of moments when he was a good dad and the good times, but the bad tilt the scale in a way that makes it hard to ignore. It’s all part of the weird complicated emotions that, for some people, can come up when dealing with a parent, (particularly in my situation as an only/youngest child hybrid which gets extrapolated in the feeling-responsibility-for-aging-parents department, but I digress). My dad has improved since I was a kid, and while I recognize that he’s actively trying to be a better dad, it doesn’t make the damage he caused me and my mom any better. It’s hard to undo damage from gaslighting and emotional abuse. It’s taken time and years of therapy, but my view of my dad is still something that is incredibly complicated. He underwent cancer treatments this past year and that made everything even more emotionally complex because I was worried and scared, but there were absolutely moments when part of me, the part who is still very upset about what he’s done, was indifferent.

The metaphorical burns, the trauma, caused by my dad will always be in my mind. And I know forgiving is not forgetting, but I don’t think I’ve fully forgiven him--and idk if I ever will because his past actions have had major repercussions to my being and mental health, and while I recognize his progress, I also keep myself on guard and stop getting my hopes up because I’m always certain the bottom will drop and he’ll go back to being awful again and I don’t want go back to being that kid who was let down by her dad over and over again.

So when I see this Enji situation and the Todoroki family, I feel the same. I watch Enji and wonder when the bottom is gonna drop. Is he just trying to be ‘better’ because the public is watching now that he’s No. 2 and because his shit is catching up to him? Or is he really trying to be better because he feels guilty? I see him cry and I’m angry--why does he get to cry about his consequences? But then a tiny part is like damn because I recognize his humanity and I’m too damn empathetic for my own good, but the overwhelming bulk of me is rolling my eyes because I can’t accept the tears after everything he's done. I don’t want him to get away with it.

While I recognize that, sure, Enji’s trying, I’m wary and waiting for the bottom to drop, just like with my dad. And I might have a few moments of care, but mostly I’m as indifferent as the other siblings because I was Touya, crying and ripping my hair. I vied for years for my dad's attention, acceptance, and love, only to be forgotten for a few years then remembered. And because of that, now I’m severely burned and carry that weight of his ‘parenting’ and choices, and deal with it and him like Shouto.

But that’s just my situation and I recognize that everyone’s own histories and experiences with toxicity/abuse is different and influences how they view these arcs. How we view these arcs is as valid as our experiences and pain.

TL;DR: I just appreciate that we get to see the layers of this family and the complexity of their emotions while they navigate the situation that is reconciling past with present Endeavor.

#idk i'm rambling #bnha #bnha 300 #bnha 300 spoilers #dabi #touya todoroki #todoroki touya #todoroki shouto #shouto todoroki #todoroki family #listen the todoroki family is my fave #and part of it is because I empathize with them particularly shouto and dabi #bnha analysis #boku no hero academia #mha spoilers #my hero academia #my hero academia spoilers #bnha manga #bnha manga spoilers #bnha meta #shoto todoroki #toya todoroki #rei todoroki #bnha thoughts #mha 300 #mha analysis #mha meta

[huacheng-zhu]

ok so 2ha. vague spoilers ahead (important spoilers are warned but watch out)

that’s a solid 4.5/5 for me. this novel RUINED me and I loved it for it. it made me feel like very few novels (and even stories in general) did. today I’m STILL shaken over a part of it that I read two days ago, despite the happy ending. I have A Lot of thoughts (shout-out to @whateverwuxian​ who can testify that I couldn’t shut up about it, love you buddy!!) so I just went ahead and [gestures below]

starting with the negative so we can enjoy all the positive later. feel free to discuss but I’m extra sensitive and these are only my personal feelings so they probably won’t change anyway, so be nice please!

what I didn't like:

too many r*pe scenes. I get that the non-con """makes sense""" narratively and thematically but like. they didn't have to be explicit. at the very least not all of them. sorry but too much is too much. there are more non-con sex scenes/flashbacks than consensual sex scenes! stop! we get it! enough now!

not a fan of a 26yo falling in love with a 16yo. if cwn had initiated Anything I would’ve thrown the novel out the window. but thankfully it didn’t happen, I got invested, and nothing mutual happened until mo ran was 22, so I mostly got over it, but I’m still somewhat uncomfortable with it for very personal reasons.

their first time putting it in. it felt so unfair and I was very upset over it. it could’ve worked without going There? why. was that necessary. and it's heartbreaking for both of them, because mo ran didn't want to do it either. he wanted them to take all their time. he wanted to go step by step. all he wanted was to make sure cwn would be happy and comfortable and never hurt again in bed. for their first time that way he wanted it to be special. but it was just. taken away from them, and for what? for nothing there’s absolutely no reason for it. I get there’s the metaphorical foreshadowing of the upcoming reveal aspect (spoilers) both of them not consenting, mo ran being horrified -> the reveal that mo ran was cursed and so would’ve never wanted to treat cwn like this in the past either if he’d had control (end spoilers) but still?? and it’s never brought up again? I know they don’t get the time until the very end but hhhh. yeah I have Feelings over this

some plot twists hit good emotionally but had no point? thinking of the one about xue meng here.

there’s horny, and then there’s mo ran. it’s not a bad thing, it’s just not the kind of stuff I like reading about and book 1 and 2 are A Lot on that side so in book 2 after a while ME, THE BIGGEST ASEXUAL WHO COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT SEX SCENES, WAS LIKE, “oh my god have mercy please just fuck already I beg of you” and indeed they chilled a bit after that. like they were still horny but. less intensely and less all the fucking time. thank god (I still think the farm arc was hilarious to witness though, and I did love it)

kinda wish their reunion at the end was longer and more emotional but that’s just because I love that shit

(spoilers) kinda wish we got to see shi mei again before he went off doing his blind wandering doctor stuff. a talk with ranwan would’ve been very interesting. (end spoilers)

xue meng didn’t get a hug

that one thing at the end you know the one. maybe I'd be more into it if it'd been given time to be explored seriously and wasn't played off as a joke. it kinda ruined the mood of their last scene for me. (spoilers spoilers spoilers this is the end of this section if you don’t want to get spoiled) in that scene I wanted chu wanning to ride off into the sunset with mo ran, not txj. like, txj is the alternate world’s “if there had been no transmigration” version of mo ran 2.0. the whole point is that mo ran IS txj in book 1, but changes and becomes mo ran 2.0. mo ran 2.0, who by the end of the novel has already done all the redemption and deconstruction of his dubious habits. who he was as txj is long behind him. at this point txj will always be a part of who he was, but they are pretty much two 'different' people now. txj disappearing into dust after everything that happens at the end was beautiful symbolism. it meant something. to me there was no point keeping txj around after all that other than for “haha split personalities fighting over cwn’s attention uwu” THAT SAID the fact I'm not a fan of the idea doesn't mean I don't like txj. I care txj a lot and have Emotions over him, and I will definitely eventually explore this in my writing

(still spoilers) the demonic blood reveal was a bit.... deus ex machina? plus I personally would've preferred mo ran staying a regular person (end spoilers)

alright what I liked now:

the themes, both regarding the characters and the various plot elements. this novel really challenges your morals and what you think is right or wrong, what’s redeemable, what’s punishable, and how much one relies on first impressions, amongst other things. this novel is the definition of “don’t judge a book by its cover” but also “look further than the first page” in so many ways

the romance. like I don’t need to say anything there. just, the slow burn, the longing, the yearning, the romance [clutches heart]

the plot twists/reveals. I’m so glad I was barely spoiled (I was spoiled two Big things but very vaguely so I was still surprised) because pretty much all of them had me shouting “WHAT” and/or gaping and/or various “what the fuck!!!”/”holy SHIT”/“NO” reactions

the way a lot of those reveals just completely change your view on things/characters?? that’s my jam

wontons. that was the first time I cried and my first very physical reaction to an event in this novel. I literally felt like time froze. I heard my heart beating. it was painful but AMAZING.

might be nothing in the grand scheme of things but honestly, all the food! I love that mo ran is an excellent cook and can make all those delicious dishes for cwn. as someone who loves to cook for their loved ones I think it’s so lovely that he gets to do that

the character growth. for everyone, but mo ran in particular? like I just. I started off not liking mo ran very much, straight up despising him at times, and in the end I was fucking sobbing over him and cried myself to sleep only to wake up in the middle of the night to cry some more so there’s that

chu wanning? there were aspects of him that I related to heavily, and that felt both like the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and very special because it doesn’t happen to me that often

the whole deaging arc. that was deaging done right and it had a purpose in the narrative and their relationship growth, I was “!!!!”

I LOVE how they took their time with EVERYTHING once they got together? that it spanned over several weeks? that it started with the confession, then just holding hands, then kissing, then making out, then sex, and even the sex was step by step! it said A LOT about mo ran’s character growth and it respected SO MUCH the fact that cwn is a 32yo (unrelated but (spoilers) I like to argue that yeah he’s been alive for 32 years but when you’ve been asleep and not aging physically nor growing mentally for five years in a way that makes you a 27yo. so when he calls his body “mature and old” and compares himself to shi mei I’m just. buddy your body is just three years older than shi mei’s there’s barely any difference in maturity right there. I know it’s your lack of self-worth speaking, and believe me I get it, but don’t be so hard on yourself. (end spoilers) anyway, this is an unimportant and unrelevant thought that I had during the mirror scene) who has no experience in any of these things whatsoever. he's not pushed into sex like he's going to be comfortable right off the bat and like it isn’t such a big change in a life that’s been ascetic so far. mo ran is aware of that! and when they have their first time mo ran, who’s been maybe even more horny than cwn all this time - seriously horny is that guy’s middle name, who initiated the sex, what does he say!!! "don't worry about me, tonight, I just want to make you feel good"??? mo ran?? your character development??? I appreciated that so much.

the pain. I’m still bleeding on the floor despite the happy ending but yeah. I like angst and I was not disappointed. it didn’t feel that gratuitious to me, more like, brutally honest? I don’t cry that easily but by the end I think I’d cried, what, close to ten times??

quite a few excellent quotes [lies down] “I realized - I had grown into the you in my heart”?? “hell is too cold”??? I highlighted more but those two are the ones that always come to my mind first

most of the time the flashbacks were perfectly inserted for maximum emotional damage and I respect that skill

xue zhengyong. like he’s not my favourite, my favourites are xue meng, nangong si and ye wangxi but? I just adored him so he gets a special mention

the side characters? like, I legit loved Everyone? when I cry over side characters you know it’s serious

THE CONFESSION SCENE. LIKE. HOLY SHIT MY HEART. it comes reaaally close to the vocal one (because hua cheng confesses so many times without words) at the end of tgcf for me. it was beautiful. I was so emotional. the fact that cwn can't say it no matter how much he feels it. like it's always been plain and clear just how much he loves mo ran. but he can't say the words yet and I just. the fact that mo ran gets it? that he doesn't need the words, just that squeeze of fingers, just what cwn is, at that moment, able to give him, and it doesn't mean less to him than words would? it hit home real hard

unless I think of something else, that’s about it! I can’t recommend 2ha enough, that said, I beg of you, heed the warnings. they are NOT overstated. and even if there were no warnings, take care anyways. the angst is serious, it haunts you. angst always makes me feel like my chest is being squeezed and that’s precisely the feeling I’m looking for when I choose to read angst. I have good tolerance to it, so despite not doing entirely well lately, I thought I was tough and went for it, but I’m a CLOWN. the way it’s written ruins you. this morning despite reading the hardest part of the angst on saturday evening, I still had some physical chest pain. so I recommend it with all my heart, but take care of yourselves. 2ha doesn’t fuck around.

#2ha #bee talks #i will probably tweak and add to this post over time because I probably forgot stuff #anyways I'm gonna go lie down and cry over ranwan as I think about my fic ideas #2ha review

[browniefox]

The Spectral Turnabout 2/?

Chapter 2! Last chapter was about Phoenix when he got introduced to the spectral world, this one is about Miles :D

oOo

Miles passed out in the elevator with a scream ringing through the air, one that will haunt his dreams, haunt his footsteps, haunt his every moment for the next fifteen years.

When he woke up, his world had been turned on its head.

When he’s a little older, Miles goes through the events over and over and over until the story makes sense, until he knows the events forwards and backwards. It goes like this:

Miles got into the elevator with his dad and Yanni Yogi. There was an earthquake. The elevator became stuck. The oxygen ran low. Yanni Yogi started attacking his dad. Miles threw the gun. A shot rang through the elevator, and the scream chased Miles in darkness as he passed out. And Miles goes crazy.

The days after The Event are a blur, are foggy, and they tell him it’s from the trauma mixed with the lack of oxygen. What Miles does know is that when he’s capable of forming memories again, he sees things that aren’t really there. Creatures, monsters that lurk in the corners, brightly colored mist coming off of them. An energy that Miles could see coming off of himself in muted purple waves. 

They said Yanni Yogi’s lawyer had him plead insanity. Brain damage due to the lack of oxygen. There was a precedent for it.

Miles was an orphan for six months before Manfred von Karma adopted him. Miles’ used those six months to perfect ignoring what he could see. He didn’t want to think about how he’d be treated, how people would look at him, if they knew something had snapped in his head from The Event. Even more so once he was under Von Karma’s roof. Imperfection was not tolerated. So Miles would be perfect. He was perfect.

He was a perfect child, who most certainly didn’t see things that weren’t there. 

oOo

Pess was the first spirit to ever speak to Miles. 

It’d been an entire year since the accident. It wasn’t always easy to act completely normal. When the figments of his imagination actually come into contact with him, he felt phantom pressure, and a time or two they’d run into him with enough force to bowl him completely over. No, that was wrong, they didn’t run him over. Miles tripped or something, and for some reason his brain had decided to place a make-believe monster as the reason.

Pess had slipped into Miles bedroom in the evening, straight through the walls. She had landed on the floor, curling up into a tight little ball in the corner. Miles hadn’t thought much of her at first, aside from allowing himself to openly track her movement. He was in the safety of his room, he’d allow himself to look. 

This one imaginary monster was shaped like a very curly-furred greyhound, if greyhounds had tails longer than their bodies, three pairs of legs, and wings instead of ears. The back two pairs were bird feet instead of paws, and there was another set of wings tightly closed onto the monster’s back.The colored mist coming off of her matched Miles’ own to a ‘T’, but something looked off about it. 

Miles shot a look to his door, making sure it was still closed, and then for extra good measure he locked it and pulled the curtains shut over the window. Then, he got a little closer to the creature that wasn’t real, staring. The mist usually came off of things like steam off of warm water, but for this creature it was also coming from spots that closely resembled would. She had gouges in her sides and bite marks on her legs, long scratches down her snout. 

The hallucination opened one of her eyes and then flinched back at how close he was. Miles responded in kind, head whipping around to check the door once more. He felt like he’s standing at the precipice of something dangerous here, of showing so much acknowledgement to something that isn’t really there, but his curiosity still has a hold on him. 

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t realize a spectral lived here, I-I’ll, um, I’ll…” The thing got to her feet, all six of them, and shook her coat.

“Wait…!” Miles whispered, and then slapped a hand over his mouth, going bright red and shame filling him. This was too much, talking to her was a step too far. But then, she actually stopped, and turned her big and warm brown eyes on him. “Wh… what did you call me?”

“A spectral? You are one, right? In fact, we match.” She said. Miles couldn’t deny that.

“I don’t know what that is.” He admitted, sitting back. Why would a hallucination use a word he doesn’t know? 

“It means you can see us.” She explained. 

“‘Us’?”

“Spirits.” 

Miles looked at the door again and raised a hand to bite one of his nails before yanking the hand down.

“Come on,” He said and crawled underneath his bed and the hallucination - the spirit? - followed after him, “Tell me more about spirits.” 

The spirit introduced herself as Pess, and she explained how spirits weren’t ghosts, really, but more like the conglomerations of leftover energy from dead things. Spectrals were people who were still alive but could see them. There were very few of them, to the point that Miles was the first one Pess had ever met. 

It seemed like far too convenient an explanation. Oh, yes, Miles wasn’t crazy, he was just special, like a character out of a book his teacher’s used to read out loud to the class before he switched schools. 

“I don’t believe you.” Miles told her right to her face. “Ghosts don’t exist.” 

“Oh.” Pess rested her head on her front paws, looking over at him sadly. “Well, why can’t they?”

“If they did, then…” Miles trailed off. He opened his mouth and closed it, unable to form the words. He didn’t like thinking about The Incident, and definitely not talking about it. But… but if spirits were real, if ghosts were real, then why did Yanni Yogi get proven innocent? Why would Misty Fey claim to have channeled his dad, and his dad to have said it was Yanni Yogi.

No, Miles needed to remember to focus on what was real, what was physical, what he had evidence for. 

Pess seemed to understand anyway. The wings on her head closed up tight and her tail swept over to rest on Miles’ hand. It felt soft and warm. No, it was the heater kicking on somewhere, a gust of warm air, and the broken part of his mind had decided to make the hallucination align with it just so. 

“I need to go to bed.” Miles said out loud. He did not say it to Pess, because Pess wasn’t real.

“Okay,” Pess asid, and while Miles crawled out from under the bed, she simply phased right through it to sit on his bed and then settled on top of the blanket. She didn’t so much as rumble the comforter, because of course she didn’t. “Uh, Spectral, I don’t want to bother you, but…?”

Miles knew he should set himself straight again. He’d been working on ignoring what wasn’t there for a year now, he should be better than this. And yet, Miles found himself sighing and looking at her. 

“But?”

“Spirits can heal on their own, but they heal faster around a spectral with a color that matches their own. C-could…? Could I stay here? Until I’m better?” She begged. She had the puppy-dog eyes down pat. 

Miles cast another look to the door, clenching his hands into fists until his fingernails were embedded into his palms. 

“Okay. Yeah, okay. Just until you’re better.” 

oOo

Pess didn’t leave after she was healed up.

Sometime between that night and the time wounds had closed up, Miles had become used to her presence. One would think that having a figment of his imagination that he did acknowledge at time would make things worse, and that was what Miles had feared at first, but he’d found he didn’t deny the comfort of cuddling close to her at night, and she never complained if he ever hugged her too tight when he had nightmares. She followed him everywhere, at first so she might heal up quicker, but Miles found himself enjoying her constant presence at his side. 

It certainly made him feel a little less lonely at school. He hadn’t had much luck yet making friends. Manfred von Karma insisted that Miles didn’t need to think about things like that. Miles nodded to that in perfect agreement.

Pess was very soft, very nice, and very excitable. She always seemed able to pick up on when Miles was starting to get anxious and would come over and rub her face against his hand. He couldn’t say anything to her, or look at her, or purposefully try to touch her. At least, not out in public. He only allowed himself to indulge in that sort of thing when he was sure nobody else could see him, and even then he only ever talked to her in low and quiet whispers both he and pess could barely hear, let alone anybody who might try to listen in. 

He asked her, once, if she’d ever wanted to leave. She must’ve done something before being here, being with him. She’d stopped chasing a smaller ‘spirit’ around his room and looked over him, cocking her head, a doggish grin on her face. 

“Why would I leave? I have you now.”

He wondered if she’d been alone before she’d met him. He didn’t ask. He felt he knew the answer. 

He tried to convince himself over the years that he was passed needing her there for him. She was nothing more than an imaginary friend. He got older, he shouldn’t need it her, he shouldn’t like having her there. A couple times he’d even managed to find somewhere far and secluded and yell at her to go away, to leave, to let him finally be closer to perfect.

Both times, Pess did leave, tail between her legs. 

Both times, it hadn’t sat well with Miles and he’d gone out late at night searching the city and calling her name until he found her. 

The older he got, the more he realized he didn’t ‘leak’ spectral energy constantly. It surged particularly when he had intense emotions. He seeked that out, stifling his emotions, burying them so he came off self-assured. He asked if there was a big reason for the energy, telling himself he was just curious of what his mind would come up with to explain it, and pess told him she wasn’t really sure. She knew spirits were made of it, and she’d heard rumors of spectrals being able to do something about that, but again, he was the first spectral she’d ever met. 

The habit of her accompanying him to court came about naturally. Where he went, Pess went, and where did he need her more than during a case? 

Miles found a balance of almost-nearly perfect that he told himself was Perfection. 

It had to do.

#paranatural #pnat #ace attorney #miles edgeworth #pess #au #browniefox writes #the spectral turnabout