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heymeowmao · 2 months

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2024.02.13 - https://weibo.com/l/wblive/p/show/1022:2321325001030558416974

It's the New Year!!!

bgm: 晒Share (live ver.) - Da Zhangwei & Liu Yuning

LYN: Hallo everybody, good evening. I also want to take this time to wish you a Happy New Year. Happy Year of the Dragon~ C: Your hairstyle doesn’t look good. LYN: It’s the new year, do you HAVE to make me sass you? You just HAVE to give me trouble…

LYN: Today I’m a Sunshine, Cheerful, Big Boy. I just wrapped up with work- I was shooting the costume drama earlier in the day, so my hair was flattened under a wig. When I got home I didn’t want to wash my hair and try to style it- it would be troublesome. So I just took the wig I used when acting as Xiao Bei (Cicada Girls). Now I’ve saved two bottles of shampoo. LYN: It’s a wig! LYN: Someone earlier said that this hairstyle doesn’t look good, but I’ve used it to film a whole drama! Are you going to start calling me ugly before it even airs?? C: No, you’re the most handsome. LYN: Thank you, everyone. In any case it’s the New Year and spirits are up, so let’s try not to be too aggressive/angry. See- look at how harmonious I’m being right now. I used to talk back at my fans all the time, but recently I’ve- I’ve gotten better, right?

LYN: I’m drinking tea. It’s not beer! The color isn’t even similar. Here- I still have the bottle.

bgm: 热辣滚烫 - Modern Brothers Liu Yuning

C: I went to play mahjong. LYN: Look at you- I’ve started streaming but you’ve gone to play mahjong? I mean, you can play but… you don’t need to tell me about it! Just go play. Why are you telling me?? C: You should still sass us a little. // Your wig’s about to fall off. LYN: It’s okay if it falls off. I’d just be a little bit uglier, is all. Not to say that it falls off and all you see is a bald head underneath- there’s no way that would happen. But.. I’d rather not have it fall off.

C: We finally meet. LYN: Ah, yes. We have a lot of new fans- and since they've started being my fan they haven’t been able to catch a live stream. Well, that’s why I’m here today, isn’t it? :)

C: The speaking volume is low. LYN: Let me adjust it; I haven’t used this equipment in a long time. LYN: How about now? Is it better?

C: I’m a 20yuan new fan. LYN: What does that mean? I don’t get it this joke. Does it mean that since you’ve started liking me, I have to give you 20 yuan? In that case… how about we forget it (you can stop being my fan)? Can you earn money by chasing stars? Is it a one-time payment, so you’ll be my fan forever? Or is it a monthly payment? C: Ning-ge, I thought you were up to speed on all the internet memes. LYN: I’m not so much anymore these days… also whenever I do surf the net, nothing I see is related to “Liu Yuning”. So I haven’t been paying much attention, and I don’t know what a “20yuan new fan” is.

C: How long will you stream for this time? LYN: Don’t ask. That’s a bit of an awkward question. It’s like when you go home for the New Year, and your mom asks you how much you get paid a month. It’s the same as when all your relatives start asking about how much you make. As for how long I’ll stream, it’s not definite. I’ll stream up until the time I leave. “How long will you stream for?” Until I stop streaming.

LYN: The track you’re listening to now is the OST for the movie YOLO (热辣滚烫). I know many of you have gone to watch it, and some of you are fake fans. Because you didn’t even realize by the end that I was the one who sang this song.

LYN: Of course, I don’t blame you. I did use a different way of expressing myself for this song. From a musical perspective, I used a different method of expression. To be honest, I’m not even used to it myself. C: It’s a totally new style. LYN: Not entirely brand new, but certainly a… unique style.

LYN: ? Why does this wig make me look really silly? I feel like I look really silly? LYN: I’m wearing a purple sweater and now I have a radish-head (?). I look like a purple radish that’s transformed into a sprite/elf.

C: Why are you wearing a wig today? LYN: That is… um… what’s it to you? LYN: Nah. X’D I said earlier, that I was shooting the drama during the day and since I have to have te wig on it smashed my hair flat. I figured if I was going to stream I’d have to do my hair so I was thinking about how I should style it. But I didn’t really have the time today- LYN: I also think my speaking voice is a little low. Let me make it louder. LYN: -and then, I didn’t want to waste time. I wanted to stream a little bit longer so if I had tried to make my hair presentable I’d lose a lot of time. Also, I woke up too early today- a little past six. I finished up with work and came straight home to stream. Because it’s really been too long.

LYN: I was scrolling through weibo and saw people saying that after they’d become my fan they had never once seen me stream. They’d never seen me stream. After I saw those comments I felt a little… guilty. You’d come to know of me through a drama and wanted to become goods friends with me, but I never streamed. Now I feel like I owe you. Im getting yelled at online everyday, because I haven’t streamed for you. That’s no good. Especially since I haven’t streamed solo for you. So since I wrapped up earlier today I figured I would force a stream out. C: Do you really feel guilty? LYN: Um… of course! Definitely. So guilty that I hide in my blankets and sob. LYN: It’s just that I didn’t dare to stream before the Spring Festival. It just seems like everything I say nowadays… (can easily get blown out of proportion). I was afraid, because just one of my streams is three hours long and I’m pretty much talking nonstop. What if I say something and give them opportunity to find some loophole wherein they can stick a label to me and destroy my market value? Wouldn’t that render me unable to attend Spring Festival anymore? So I was just trying to avoid the storm and make sure that I could successfully pass Spring Festival, after which- here I am. I’m sure all my old fans know why I didn’t stream. Of course, it’s also because I didn’t have the time to. LYN: Why did I dare to stream today? Because I don’t have any dramas that are about to air. If I say something (that’s used against me), I can just bear through it- just like catching a cold. I can lie in bed for 5-6 days and the topic would blow over. Spring Festival is over so I came to chat with you, and even if I don’t exactly watch what I say, everyone should turn out fine. C: How was Spring Festival? LYN: I’ll tell you about it later.

LYN: We were talking about this song, 热辣滚烫. It was a perfect timing- Qian Le-laoshi found me and asked if I wanted to sing a song. I asked him “what song?”, and he replied that it was for a movie. I agreed. But the caveat was that I had to sing it as if I was not a person who knew how to sing. When I first heard that request it seemed like a bit of a challenge, to me. I needed to sing this song as if I were someone who didn’t know how to sing. Why? They wanted a more real feeling. They didn’t want any fancy techniques. If you listen, you’ll discover that this song has no vibrato, no strong/soft execution, or emotional singing. There’s none of that. It’s just… Very basic. Sincere. That was the requirement for this song. LYN: When I was recording the song I ended up with head full of sweat. We were working in the middle of the night- because this was a bit of a rush request. I finished up work around 11p and by the time I reached the recording booth it was already past 12a. We recorded and finished up at around 4a, and I continued on my way to work in the morning. It’s a song I recorded very seriously, and it was a new challenge for me. When it was all finished and I listened to it, I thought, “Hmm… It’s a style I’ve never tried before, indeed.” But it was also quite nice. As a singer or an actor, trying out a lot of different styles and feelings you haven’t before is pretty interesting. It’s a unique song and I hope you like it.

C: It wasn’t easy waiting for you to stream. LYN: There’s nothing hard about it. All you have to do is subscribe to my weibo and you’ll see my streams. Just keep an eye out. - /comments on how he pronounces it “weiber” bc of the Dongbei accent/ - /uses the announcer voice to announce his “2023 Weibo Livestream King” award/

C: Ning-ge, why does it look like you’re wearing a wig? LYN: Your eyes do not deceive you. You really have an eye for detail. It IS a wig. C: Ning-ge, I dreamt that I was shooting a drama with you. LYN: You want to be a celebrity? You’re a friend- we’re the same type of person because we both have dreams of becoming a celebrity. Keep dreaming. LYN: They dreamt of shooting a drama with me… was it a normal interaction, or something… something that if said aloud, would get cut? I don’t know. But in any case, you just want to be a celebrity, right?

C: Where does the sound of laughter come from? LYN: /presses the laughtrack/ LYN: Weibo has a very impressive function, and can tell when your words are funny. If it’s funny, it will automatically play a special effect. It’s just like when you’re sending messages and if you type in a certain keyword, special effects (emojis, stickers, etc.) will pop up. Weibo is high technology. As long as you say something that’s interesting, it will naturally play the laughter. LYN: “Liu Yuning” /presses the laughtrack/ LYN: Is LYN very laughable?

LYN: How are there some people who are so annoying! I only just started streaming and you’re already asking me where Daimi is!! If you really want to see her, when I stop streaming I won’t just log off. I’ll leave the camera on, strap her to this chair and let you see her. I’ll trap her on this chair and let you watch her for another hour. LYN: I’m here streaming, and you’re asking me where my DOG is??? In that case I’ll just make a post. I’ll post some pics of her. I’ll stop streaming and leave. LYN: ~How annoying!~

C: Consider taking part in a long-term variety show. LYN: I’m considering it. There will be, soon. I think I’ll be shooting for a variety show soon, because it’s part of my yearly business plan. At least one variety show every year. Usually either a music-variety or something in which I think I could relax and have fun in if I went. Last year I didn’t record any, though. LYN: Last year, because of some reasons, I didn’t record any. I received a lot of calls, and even booked one. I arranged for time out of the drama crew and everything- and then it failed before it even started. I had already reserved the time! They said, “Soon, soon.” and then later… “We’re not doing this project anymore.” I said, “Alright, then.” LYN: In that case, I figured I should book a variety show for this year. I booked one and then that other show got back to me. “We’re relaunching the project.” They just don’t want to play with me. It’s not that they couldn’t do it in the first place, they just didn’t want to play with me. Ok, then.

C: It won’t fail again this year will it? LYN: Probably not? Don’t curse me like that!! I’m pretty happy to be recording for this show, too. In the end I don’t even get to start and it fails again? This, at the New Year??

bgm: Fall in Love - Modern Brothers Liu Yuning - /stream lags/ - 27:06 [bgm: 一念关山 - Richie Ren] LYN: It’s still not fixed yet? (the lag) It should be working now, right? - /mic test/ LYN: It’s fixed, right? If you’re lagging, leave the stream then come back in. -- starts singing 一念关山 w/ a rocky start XD LYN: It just landed on that song and I’ve heard it a lot but never sang it, so I thought I’d give it a try. See how well that turned out. These lyrics are so difficult. I couldn’t keep up. I was looking right at them and reading them, but I still couldn’t do that properly.

bgm: 晒Share (live ver.) - Da Zhangwei & Liu Yuning LYN: This song, also- overturned everything I once knew about how to sing a song. I’m the type who- I’m better at- no, not “better”- OF THE GENRES I SING, are things more like for costume dramas. Something with a strong jianghu style. Or “emotional boy” type songs- or pretending to be emotional. Either that, or more rock style. But for this type of song- like DZW’s- I need to… pinch the tone a little (make it cutesy). I turn myself into Dongbei pincers/clips. You need to “pinch” a little when you sing. - /sings the example between pinched and not/ C: No wonder your stage teacher was laughing. LYN: I can’t even stand the sound of my own voice like that. I’m just a born and bred Dongbei man. My natural tone isn’t like that at all, so I have to “pinch”. When I hear myself- I already don’t possess a young sounding voice- but I have to pretend that I’m younger.

C: 窝囊废文学 [t/n: loser/wimp/cowardly literature: pretending to be tough then contrasting it with a weak and spineless statement to create irony and self-deprecating humour] LYN: I know there was an interview and they asked me if I had heard of this, and I said no. But honestly, I have heard of it. At this time I would like to apologize to that interviewer- I lied. I didn’t tell you the truth back then, because I wanted to pretend I was a melancholy boy who did not surf the internet. But on the inside my DNA was awakened. I couldn’t contain myself. I hope that this year on the list of “most insincere artist” my name is not on it. Thank you. I’m sorry. I’d like to apologize. LYN: ~ Making me angry, counts as making cotton wool angry ~ LYN: Anyway- people who say that interview couldn’t help but to yell at me for it. Saying, “LYN, you’re a grown man, how could you sound so sissy? Do you think you’re very cute? At your age?? Why are you acting like my second aunt?” I was just imitating an internet meme, and you still have to yell at me for it?? LYN: ~ Excuse me, you’ve kicked me but I’m cotton wool ~ ~ Sorry but yelling at me online only means you’re yelling at a sea sponge. ~ C: I want to hear more. LYN: LOL. LYN: ~ Liking me means you’ve taken a liking to a soft persimmon. ~ Why? Because anyone can ~pinch me around~.

C: I really want to see your inventory. LYN: ~ Sorry. ~ ~ I lied again. ~ There’s really nothing in my drafts- just one or two pictures that I think about posting but don’t. There’s really not much in it. I don’t have things stored up. Not very many, at least. Just the few pictures.

C: How come the program schedule changed for Spring Festival? LYN: These things, how can I say it…there’s no good way to arrange it. The program is one thing. As for which wether we stick to the program is another thing. Because we’re live streaming, so it’s not as if everything can be controlled. As singers and actors, or even stage actors, we need to adapt to changes. I don’t care where they put me, as long as I am able to sing at all. I don’t want it to be the case where they tell me, “Xiao Ning, we’re unable to fit you into the schedule for Spring Festival. Why don’t we see you at the Lantern Festival instead?” That would be the worst. But as long as my good friend DZW and I are able to give you a bit of happiness, that’s enough. C: I was so anxious and scared I almost cried. LYN: You thought my program would be taken out of the lineup entirely? Because it was mostly dancing, you were afraid they would cut us? I’m sure you were worried about that. It’s normal, and these things do happen. It’s okay, though. It’s a first time experience for all of us. LYN: We just go by how they arrange it. If it really were the case that we were unable to perform. They’d probably let us on the 15th of the lunar new year, at least. As long as we’re in the fifteen days, we’re all still celebrating. If we can give you some happiness within the range of the “New Year” it’s all okay. C: I almost smashed my tv. LYN: It’s not worth it! Oh my goodness. Why are you venting your anger on your own stuff??

C: Is this a livestream or recorded? LYN: It’s recorded. This recording is so accurate I’ve already predicted that someone would ask me if this was a livestream or recorded. Truthfully this is recorded, everyone. You think you’re seeing the real me right now, but actually this is a recording. Right now I’m playing a video. I’ve already calculated exactly what time to play it, too. The time now is 7:59p. It will soon be 8p.

C: I was watching you stream and got yelled at by my mom. LYN: Why? D: Why did you get yelled at for watching my stream? Does your mother also have an artist that she likes? Someone who I have some friction with? Is that what it is? You and your mother are from rival camps? It’s not worth it. If that’s the case, then please stop being my fan. Go get along with your mom. Don’t let me get in the way of your relationship with your parents. That’s no good.

C: I’m watching with my mom. LYN: It’s good to have common hobbies. C: I grabbed my mom to watch your stream with me. LYN: A lot of you are watching with your mothers? C: My mom says you look foolish/dumb. LYN: Jie. What are you saying, jie? Jie, I’m not dumb. I’m so smart- like a monkey. LYN: Maybe this hairstyle looks a little dumb, though? You think this hairstyle makes me look a little dim-witted? Its like how I sang this song. /sings a line/ Does it give off that feel? Jie, I’m not dumb. Jie- if you really think that way, why don’t I go change my hairstyle? Into something smarter. Wait for me, five minutes. Let me go change my hairstyle. I’ll see if I can change into something smarter. Let me find a video to play for you. LYN: Oh, great. I don’t have any. That’s okay. I don’t have any saved, so let’s look one up right now. LYN: Seriously, though. I’m going to go change my hair. I can’t stand myself anymore. Looking at myself, even I think that I don’t look very bright. Let me play this video for you. -- break #1 (I guess)

LYN: Jie, I’m back. You haven’t left, have you? The one who said I looked foolish- you haven’t left, right? I’m back now. You said I looked foolish, so I went to change for you. Hold on a sec, let me see how to close this… Eh? Oh? Hold on… /finally got it/

LYN: ~Woman. You’re playing with fire but you’ve successfully gained my attention. I need to know everything about you within 3 minutes.~ LYN: ~What? You want to know what my name is? I am Leng Shao.~ C: Oh, my god! LYN: ~I’m sorry. You’ve been struck by me again.~ C: Where did “Leng Shao” come from? LYN: My streams are like an ongoing drama series. If you miss a few episodes you’ll have no idea what the “Leng Shao” joke is. ~ My cheesiness has caught you again.~ C: This isn’t as good as the previous one. LYN: … Let’s just make do.

C: Put it on properly. LYN: /starts fixing his hair/ Okay, I got it. I was rushed so I didn’t have time to style it any sort of way. Let me fix it a little. C: Can you change it back? LYN: … You think I’m so easy to push around?? I’ll change an outfit just because you say so? - LYN: /sobers/ Is this a little non-mainstream?- C: My mom ran away. LYN: Stop messing around. If she’s old enough to be your mother that means she’s all sorts of things in the world already. I am nothing in comparison to the things she’s seen. Don’t mess around. This is quite fine. C: It’s too late. LYN: She couldn’t take it anymore and left? Okay, then. Let her go. It’s not as if I was planning to go to your house and become her son-in-law, anyway. I was only just trying to respect each and every one of my viewers. You mom deciding not to watch me anymore was her choice. That has nothing to do with me and honestly… I don’t really care. Don’t think you can manipulate me.

LYN: Friends, don’t you think this style is non-mainstream? Now I have to find a non-mainstream song to match. Can you think of one for me? What song is non-mainstream? You can type it into the comments and if I know how to sing it, I’ll see if I can sing a few lines. What song suits this appearance? - I miss you - 我姓石 (My Name is Shi) [ /recites the lyrics/ ] LYN: Is it that one? Oh, I haven’t heard it before. (lies) I don’t really see these things that are trending online, because I am more of a secluded guy. - 玫瑰花的葬礼 (Funeral of Roses) LYN: Are there any others? Let’s sing another one. I’m not really familiar with that last one, so Leng Shao is now a little embarrassed. C: You’re embarrassed? LYN: I can say that I am, but you can’t say that I am. Because I never feel embarrassed. Maybe when doing other things, but I’ve never felt embarrassed when I’m streaming. That word isn’t in my dictionary. Because I can’t afford one. - C: Ning-ge, I’ll exchange ten years of being single for your to look at my comment once. LYN: I saw it.

- C: 坏女孩 LYN: ? I’ve never heard of that song. C: 不分手的恋爱 LYN: This song’s accompaniment track isn’t available, so please allow me to duet with WSL-laoshi. - 不分手的恋爱 (Never Breaking Up)

LYN: Okay. That’s about enough. C: Suddenly I want to change my QQ ID.

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C: Ning-ge, if you can see my comment, then send me a “yeah~” ^^V LYN: There’s no need to send secret signals in my stream. If I see you, send you a “yeah~”? Forget it. - C: Ning-ge, did you wake up naturally today? LYN: In the world of adults, how many can actually sleep until they wake up naturally? You must be going to school, still? That’s the happiest time of life, when you’re going to school. So… enjoy it. But, adults do get vacation around the new year!

LYN: I used to be in the customer service business- everyone knows this. I used to be a waiter in a restaurant- that’s customer service. Then later I became a cook, and truthfully that’s also customer service based. Later still, I was a clerk in a clothing shop. But these types of customer service-based jobs really don’t have such things as “holidays”. Especially now around the New Year. Everyone has time off and it’s actually the busiest time of the year for restaurants. At this time, pretty much everyone in the customer service industry is working. LYN: You’d think that after all my hard work to become a singer and an actor it’d be different, but it’s the same. We’re in the business of customer service. Actors are here to service the viewers. Singers are here to service the listeners. It’s basically customer service. And what’s the golden rule? The customer is king. That’s something that’s been ingrained into me from my time working in previous customer service industries. - LYN: There was that friend earlier, who said, “If you can see my comment, then send me a “yeah~”. Here it is now.

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C: Did you work today, Ning-ge? LYN: I did. I started working the day after New Year’s. We can’t really stop work in the drama crew, because each day that passes is money spent. Think about all the staff/crew- one day that we’re not working is still a day we need to pay them their salary. All the cameras used to shoot the drama are rented. The longer we rent them, the more money we need to pay for them. The hotels we’re staying in- another night that passes is another night we need to pay for. So it’s… we need to work. All drama crews are like this. LYN: I told you earlier, I woke up at 6am today. I was shooting a day full of fight scenes. I got back home and honestly I was tired and sleepy. I wondered if I should even stream at all. But I thought about it, and if I didn’t stream today I don’t know when the next chance I’d get would be. Thankfully we wrapped a bit earlier today. You don’t know how rare that is. Usually we wrap at around 7-8p, or 8-9p. By the time I’m done getting everything in order it’s already close to 10p, so I don’t stream. Today we wrapped up early so I thought I’d stream a little for you. LYN: Also, to the friends that are asking if I’ll stream until 12a- It’s not likely to happen. Please spare me.

C: Are there a lot of fight scenes in this drama? LYN: Very few. Not much. Because I don’t have very many scenes to begin with. C: Any horse-riding scenes? LYN: Only once. There’s not many outdoors shots, in this drama. // I’m talking about for MY role. Not much outdoors shots for my character in this drama. C: Youve finished filming? LYN: Not yet, there’s still about a little more than a month left. C: Ning-ge, have you signed a lease in Zhejiang? (?) LYN: For the past four years I’ve spent the New Year in Hengdian. Yeah, just about four consecutive years.

C: Ning-ge, you probably won’t die this time, will you? LYN: Uh… I don’t know. I can’t give any spoilers. But I just want to say- I don’t know why, but the roles I accept are- /thinks about it/ /gets sad/ Why?? /cries/ LYN: From the moment I debuted until now- the death rate for the roles I’ve accepted is about 70%. I was acting as supporting characters before- third, fourth , or even second male lead. They died. After all this time I’ve finally gotten to play a male lead and in the end I was stabbed to death by spears. LYN: As an actor, Liu Yuning very easily dies. There’s a saying that goes “It’s rare to die for once.” For me it should be “It’s rare to live for once.” In any case, please be mentally prepared when you’re watching my dramas. If you get too into it, I’m sure you’re going to be brokenhearted for me later.

C: Ning-ge, if I watch a 20-second commercial, will you be alive then? LYN: Do you think it’s a mini game? (watch an ad for more hearts/lives)

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C: Ge, do you have any varieties this year? LYN: I do. I said so earlier, so you must have just come in. I’m planning to do a variety show this year. … Do you know what it will be? I don’t know- was that interview released? I had an interview earlier and they asked me the same question and I actually responded. Has that interview been released yet? Has it? I don’t think so. C: I haven’t seen it. LYN: Maybe they cut that part. It doesn’t matter. LYN: Right! It’s not that I can’t tell you about it, just that since I actually haven’t STARTED on it yet, I’m afraid to tell you. Based on my previous experience, my mouth’s gotten me in trouble with things like this. I like to share with you when I’ve accepted jobs, and then after I tell you all about it the project/job folds. Either that or I’m replaced by someone else. It’s always like that. So now I… won’t tell you. C: Give us a hint. LYN: A hint? How about the third word in the name? No- I’ll do this, it’s very simple. /^^V/ That’s very obvious, isn’t it? I even responded to that person who wanted to send secret signals in my stream, again. ^^V. Isn’t this hint very obvious? [t/n: what is that, The Voice??] LYN: That’s right. It’s The Voice of China. Isn’t the logo for that show the peace sign with a microphone? I’m going to The Voice of China to audition.

C: Got it. Second concert tour. LYN: No, honestly- and wait until I’m done speaking. The reason why I don’t want to tell you is because I’m afraid that when I’m done telling you some of you are going to have a mental breakdown. It’s like this- /stalling/ I really do want to hold my concert this year, I do. But right now there are some things… that I’m conflicted on. Don’t worry, it’s an internal conflict. If I hold my concert, then I’ll have to accept one less drama. But the projects that have come to find me look pretty interesting and I kind of do want to accept them. So now I’m trying to figure out if there’s a way for me to accept the drama role but also hold my concert. I’m trying to find a way that will allow for both. C: Alright, then. That’s not going to happen. (since he said it out loud) LYN: /laughs/ OMG, I only just gave you this “two” symbol, and you’re saying “Whelp. That’s the end of that.” 去你的! I already asked for leave from the drama crew! I need to go record for it. It should be soon. LYN: There’s a really good project, though. Originally I was intending to finish up this one, and do the next one and I’d finish up around July/August, at which point I can hold my concert. That was my intention. But later some projects came for me that I quite like. I’m still thinking about it. I need to make a decision. C: You can do either.

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LYN: Being a singer, to me- and I said this during that interview, too- it’s something very precious to me. To me, it’s a surprise. Whenever I release a song, or listen to a song, or come across people commenting on my songs- it’s a surprise. But I don’t ever want to lose it. As an actor- really I’ve only just started. My fans all kow that I’ve been shooting dramas for about four years, now. But honestly, I don’t really have anything to show. I’ve really only JUST started being able to accept leading roles. Honestly- let me play some emotional music- LYN: I’ve been in quite a few dramas, and that was because I wanted to learn more and hone my skills more. I wanted to be able to accept all the opportunities that came to me. But now there are some opportunities for leading roles, and some of the projects look really promising and I quite like the roles. I was thinking… I just don’t dare to let myself stop. Those who know me know that I haven’t stopped shooting dramas since I’ve started. Whenever I meet someone and they ask me what I’ve been up to, my answer has always been, “I’m shooting a drama.” You really have to keep it going, because the post-production period is so long. Some dramas are one year, one and a half, or even two years. Something you shoot this year might not be released until at least a year and a half later. If you delay it, then the time when people will see you will also be delayed. I’m afraid to let myself stop shooting dramas. I was shocked, recently by various things. LYN: I feel like I am a little fat, honestly. [t/n: ?!??] Sometimes I’ll take selfies, for fun. But when I look back at the pictures I took I feel like I’ve gotten fatter. I should be more self-aware. As an artist or an actor, I need to be more self-conscious and start losing weight. You all know that I’m down to the thinnest I’ve been in my career. I’m already very thin, though. But your body is bound to be unaccustomed to losing weight out of the blue, so I found that I keep getting sick. I kept getting low fevers that lasted a week. I’d be fine in the morning, but then have a fever at night. I’m not trying to make you pity me; I’m just sharing. I’ve also put in the effort towards being an actor. I’ve also given it my all. Of course, at my age catching a cold is normal- there’s nothing to pity me for. I just want to say that I’ve worked hard, too in order to make myself a little thinner. To not look as swollen-faced on camera.

LYN: I don’t want to let myself stop shooting dramas, but I think it’s also about time that I held my concert. That’s why I’m conflicted. If I hold my concert, the tour would be over in about 2-3 months. 10 stops. At the most 15-20 stops. But I don’t think I would be able to hold that many. I’d be hurting, too. Probably 10-15 stops or so. But if I hold my concert THEN start acting again, the timeline might not be as smooth as I’d like. I don’t know. I haven’t thought it through yet. Let’s put that aside for now. I’ll focus on the drama that’s currently filming first and start thinking about it when I’m in my next crew. There’s no rush on it. There’s just so much I have to think about… Please understand. LYN: I do want to take a break. By that I mean it’s time for me to rest my brain. The past two dramas were too close together. After Cicada Girls it wasn’t a week later that I was in this crew already.

C: Find some time to have a few kids. LYN: I wish I still was a kid, myself.

C: It feels like you’re very tired. LYN: I’m okay. It’s not that bad. When I was walking around with FYL, I even said then that I wanted to take a rest, because I haven’t stopped since I started. What I mean by that is not that I haven’t stopped working since, but that mentally, I haven’t let myself stop. I’ve never told myself, “You need to take a break now.” or “It’s time to rest.” I don’t want to let myself take a few days. This isn’t about professionalism. It has nothing to do with that. I just… want to succeed. So I’ve packed my schedule and have tried not to let myself lose that momentum. It’s been more than five- almost six years now. But there are times that I realize that it’s too much and that I really do need to take a break.

-----

C: I want to timidly ask: Lao-da, will you release your album this year? LYN: Of course. These days, my album- Really- /cries/. It’s because I sing too many OSTs. You’ve seen/heard a lot of them already but actually there are a lot of songs that I receive but don’t like, so I don’t sing. If I didn’t care about whether I liked them or not, if I just accepted every job that came to me, you’d hear a lot more. But I can’t do that. Most of the OSTs I accept are songs that I like or think are unique. But during this whole process, I am constantly receiving songs and listening to them all has made my brain weary. I just don’t want the songs on my album to sound too much like OSTs. Otherwise they wouldn’t have any meaning. That’s the requirement I set for myself. But I realized that it’s difficult. It is. LYN: At first I started picking some dance songs. Like this- /Fall in Love/. You can tell at first listen it’s nothing like my OSTs. That’s why I chose this one to start, and that’s the direction I started going in. The songs I’ve recently acquired and the ones I’ve already finished recording are all okay. But I’m just missing two more. I need two more before I can release my album. I recently acquired one from a singer- it’s quite nice and I like it, but haven’t recorded it yet. When I finish up this drama I’ll go back to Beijing and record that one first. After I finish that one, I need to find two more and the album will be complete and can be released. I was thinking- if I don’t release them now, they’ll expire. LYN: I mean- the musicality is still there. They’re not what’s trending now, in any case, so I don’t have to worry about that. But think about it- some of these songs I recorded the year before last. For those of us who aren’t singer-songwriters, why do we rarely release music? It’s nothing to be ashamed about, because many singers don’t write their own songs, but it’s because we don’t have the creative ability. It’s not something we can just DO. You know? LYN: It’s like- some people are good at running, and others run for two seconds and their legs are cramping. Everyone has their own thing. So… sometimes when I receive demos I’m not very satisfied with them, and I turn them down. But no matter what, I need to release my album in 2024. By all means necessary. If I don’t release this album then the concert is totally off the table. I need to release this album first, before I can consider holding a concert.

C: Ning-ge, are your concert tickets free? LYN: Someone come here and kick them out. They came here to mess around. They’re here to purposely start trouble. Moderator- please find that person who asked if my concert tickets are free and kick them out. LYN: My albums are already free. My streams are free and I stream all the time. I don’t even think to ask you to pay to see them. As a singer holding a concert, you want the tickets to be free?? Why don’t I just GIVE you 500RMB and invite you to come watch? Okay? I’ll give you 500, so you can come watch my concert. I’m begging you to come see it. I’ll arrange a spot for you in the front row. I’ll let you sit on stage to watch me sing. How does that sound? Come. I’ll move a chair- move a sofa up on stage for you. I’ll sing right in front of your face. When I’m tired I’ll sit in your lap. I’ll offer that type of service, how does that sound? That customer service attitude. C: Ok. LYN: Kick everyone who says “ok” out of the stream. LYN: /laughs/ Let me tell you, friends. There’s no such thing in this world as a free OST, just like there is no such thing as a free LYN concert.

C: If I bring my kid, can they get in for free? LYN: Um. Here’s the thing. We sell by seat. In this respect, buying a concert ticket is just like buying a plane ticket. Do you need to buy a ticket for your child when you ride a plane? If you do, then you should buy them a concert ticket.

C: Are there different prices for children? LYN: I don’t know. I know that in my previous concert, there were some friends who brought their kids. I don’t know what type of tickets you bought, then? Honestly the ticketing is not under my purview. For that question, go to the ticketing site and ask them. I can’t answer this question. The tickets and prices are not something I can set. I’m only the singer. If you want to ask me if the venue seats are comfortable or not, I can’t answer that either. I’d like to make it as comfortable for you as possible, though.

C: There’s a baby in my belly, can I go to the concert for free? LYN: Is it free for pregnant women…? It’s like this- it’s free for the baby inside a pregnant woman, but the pregnant woman herself cannot go for free. That’s the only thing I can guarantee. You’re pregnant and you want to watch my stream- I mean, my concert- it’s complicated for the baby inside you, so we won’t ask for any fees for them. But as the pregnant woman herself, as a viewer and listener, you should still pay. I don’t care what you are, you still have to pay.

C: Can people 1.5m and under get in for free? LYN: It’s not free.

LYN: Concerts are like this- every person needs a seat. There are no standing tickets. This isn’t a music festival. It’s in a venue, that doesn’t let you stand. It goes seat by seat. If you don’t buy a seat, you don’t have a place to sit around. There won’t be any situation where you can get in for free.

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C: Ning-ge, I’m a new fan. I want to meekly ask- if I check in on the Super Topic, can I really claim a bottle of soybean oil? LYN: … Yes. I said before- if you check in 300 consecutive days you can claim a jug of soybean oil. 600 days and you get a 10kg bag of rice. For real.

C: I don’t have anymore soybean oil in my house. LYN: Then start checking in. LYN: If you haven’t subscribed to my weibo yet, please subscribe. From today on, you can start checking in on my Super Topic and when you hit 300 consecutive days you can take home your very own jug of soybean oil. I know that many parents may not understand why their kids would chase stars, and they tell you, “What good is it to chase stars everyday? What good does it do you? What can you get out of it??” Once you start liking me, now you can tell your mom, “I can get a jug of soybean oil out of it. If I surpass 600 days I can even get a 10kg bag of rice home.” It gives you an excuse to do what you want to do. /laughs/

C: But where do you claim it from? LYN: For specifically where you can claim it… I’ll tell you later. I’ll give you an address later, and you can go there. But I’m kind of busy,I don’t have any more time. I’ll tell you later. No rush. You check-in first. I’ll let you know when the time comes.

C: Ning-ge, you’re trending. LYN: Are you serious? No way~ How can that be?? How can I be qualified to be trending? LYN: What’s the topic, though? Is it “LYN_Livestream” or??? C: The same old. LYN: Then it must be “LYN_Livestream.” Okay. Thank you to everyone in the stream. Thank you to my good friends who are watching. It’s quite nice to be trending- it’s just letting more and more people know that I am streaming. If they have some free time they can click in to watch. LYN: But now that I’m trending, do I have to start speaking Standard Mandarin? ~So that I seem more “proper”?~ // Let me adjust.

bgm: Ice Paper - 夜泊秦淮 (Ye Po Qin Huai)

C: Stop pretending. You were fine earlier. LYN: ~Who are you saying was “pretending”? /transitions into drama voice/ Let me tell you- there’s no one in this world more sincere than I am. I just suddenly wanted to speak Standard Mandarin- what about it??~ C: I love hearing the Dandong dialect. LYN: ~If you love hearing it, then go to Dandong to play. What are you telling me for??~ C: You’re a pu-xin-nan. LYN: /laughs/ ~What did you say?? Who are you calling a pu-xin-nan?~ LYN: It needs that extra kick from reciting lines.

C: Why is your face so pale? LYN: I’ve put some powder on. I admit it. Because today- LYN: You don’t need to keep spamming! There’s someone in here who is constantly spamming. “Why is your face so pale? (x3)” As if you think I don’t know what you’re trying to do here?? You don’t know why I’m so pale? Huh? There are a couple reasons: 1. I’ve put powder on. Or 2. The beauty filter’s on. Right? What else could it be? LYN: I know you just want to annoy me.

C: Ning-ge, are you wearing pants? LYN: ??? What do you mean? I look like I’m wearing a normal outfit up top, but I’m actually wearing swim shorts on the bottom? I’m wearing normal pants. Sweatpants.

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C: Ning-ge, do you have an award for this year’s Livestream King? LYN: :) Who is this? Remember this person. You’re a great friend. Remember this person’s name. I’ve been waiting all night for someone to ask me this question and up until now, no one has. It’s an hour and a half later and finally someone asks, “Do you have an award for Livestream King?” - /grabs his award/ LYN: There’s a complicated process for these things. To think, if no one had asked me, what would I do? I’d say, “Friends, did you know? I’m the Livestream King. I even have an award~” ?? That would make me seem super shameless. But since someone asked me, I have to pretend to be humble. I need to make it seem as if it’s not very important to me, but Weibo did acknowledge me, so I have to show my thanks. In that case, I’ll take it out to show you. LYN: Friends. I’ll take away the lyrics to let you screenshot. We need to commemorate this brilliant moment. - /poses for the camera/

LYN: Okay, that’s enough. You got the screenshots, right?

LYN: I suddenly found a problem. I came to Weibo in ‘21- because that’s when my contract with my previous platform ended and I needed to choose a new one, so I chose Weibo. I streamed for the year of 2021, and they awarded me with the title of Weibo Livestream King. Some encouragement. But they didn’t give this award to me in 2022. At the time I hadn’t realized yet. It wasn’t until 2023- the later half of 2023- that I thought, “Eh? I was King in 2021, but not 2022? Who can beat me on stream time on Weibo?” I looked it up everywhere and couldn’t find anything. Then you told me that there was no award in 2022. The category was eliminated, because I was the only contender. I said, “Ohh, there was no King in 2022. Okay, I’m fine with that.” It can only be that no one gets it, but it can’t be that you got it but I didn’t. I won’t fight for anything else, but for Livestream King I want to make an effort for it. That’s the first thing. LYN: The second thing is that the staff at Weibo are all really great. They must have heard me complaining about it. They’re such a big platform that a single award won’t put them out. I’m guessing that while they were making all the other awards, they decided to toss this one in as well. While they were at it. “Why don’t we just make LYN another one? He’s over there complaining about us in his stream, as if he can’t live without it. Let’s just make one for him. We’ll make it and just send it to him. Whatever.” And then- they made me a “2022-2023” award. I mean- if you’re going to make it, can’t you just make TWO?? I can put all three up at home: [2021]-[2022]-[2023]! But now you’ve made it: [2021] - [2022-2023]. Wow, just two. You’re already making them, you couldn’t just make one extra?? LYN: Also friends, you might not know, but these awards are all made with a mold. When you go to the clothing warehouse and buy a single item of clothing it might cost you 100rmb, but it you buy 100 articles, it will only cost you 60rmb per article. By that I mean the more awards you make, the cheaper they are in the long-run. The more stock you buy the cheaper you can get them for. You know- Now it’s just awkward. There’s 2021 over there, but now I have “2022-2023” here to put with it. If they’re going to do that I’m guessing next it’ll be like this: no award in 2024, no award in 2025, then they’ll give me one in 2026 that reads, “2024-2026”. Based on logic, I’m guessing it will go like that. I hope not, though.

C: Have one custom-made for you. LYN: /laughs/ I- I don’t think there’s a need to. These types of things, there’s no good reason to make one for yourself. That’s not worth it. First of all, I’d feel sad for my money. Secondly, who makes an award FOR THEMSELVES?? There’s no need to do that.

C: Ning-ge, is it made of gold? LYN: /laughs/ You’re asking if this Weibo award is made of gold? Do you think we’re at the Olympics?? You expect them to make an award/trophy out of real gold? They don’t even want to make me two of them. XD I don’t believe there’s any gold (jin) in it. There’s no way. I’m guessing it’s probably- /stares at it/- alloy (hejin). It’s also a type of “jin”.

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C: Why are there so few strawberries in a box? LYN: I’m not a strawberry businessman, why are you asking me??? I’m only here to suggest that you try Dandong strawberries. Now you want to ask me, “Why are there so few strawberries in a box?”? Go ask an expert. I know that I always tell you that you should try Dandong strawberries, but I am not the customer service agent for the whole of the strawberry industry. Maybe if I were an ambassador and received a commission from it, then it would be my job to ask the experts for the answer. I’d ask for you. But it has nothing to do with me… It’s like I suggest you go to Dandong to try the crab, and you go but it upsets your stomach. Then you tell me, “You made me go to Dandong to eat seafood and now I have the runs. Compensate me.” LYN: “Why are there so few strawberries in a box”? There’s one thing you can do. Buy multiple boxes and consolidate them into one. Let’s say one box has 20. Buy ten boxes. 200 strawberries. Tell them to put those 200 into just one box. Then you’ll feel like the box is full and satisfying. These strawberries aren’t sold by the box, usually it’s by the weight. Fruits, you know, they’re all priced by weight.

C: Trending in the Entertainment tab at #12. LYN: Really? No way. ~ How can that be? I don’t believe I have that ability. Friends, how does my voice sound? ~ A lot of people say that I have an accent and it’s too strongly Northeastern. ~ Do I? ~ LYN: ~ Id like to welcome everyone to my livestream. My name is Liu Yuning. Currently, I am a singer and actor by profession. Next, I’d like to sing a nice song for you. I hope you like it. If you want to hear something, please let me know. ~ C: I have goosebumps. LYN: Are they the good kind or the bad kind? Because goosebumps can be categorized into good and bad ones. Sometimes you’ll see something really disgusting and get goosebumps. The other kind is if you’re watching a movie and it comes to a really thrilling part, with the music to accompany, you get the goosebumps like, “WOW!” Which kind are you? C: You’re at #10 now. LYN: Alright. Let me play you a video while I use the restroom, and I’ll come back to stream properly for you. I’ll grab a water, too. I was drinking this milk tea but now my throat feels sticky. I’ll play a video and please wait for me.

-- break #2

LYN: I’m back. I know it’s been a long time since I streamed last, solo at least. The last time I was with Da Fei and Ah-Zhuo and we did the Carnation Music Festival. I think the last solo stream was a little more than two months ago. It’s inexcusable, so I figured I should come stream today. There’s nothing going on- I just want to chat. If there’s anything you want to chat with me about, you can type it into the comments. Of course, try not to mention other artists and cause me trouble. I just want to safely and peacefully stream for once. I don’t want any trouble.

C: Why do you need to wipe your face? LYN: It’s oily. If you sit in front of the computer for hours, you’re going to get oily too. Or maybe it’s just because I’m rather greasy. - C: Ning-ge, if you livestream there’s a danger to your life. LYN: What are you talking about? Don’t try to scare me. At most the computer explodes. XD No. I’m only just turning on the stream, not handling a grenade. Why would it?? - C: You’re just a greasy man. LYN: Ok. If you’re going to put it that way, I’m going to start “pinch”ing. I’ll make my voice more “pinched”! LYN: ~ Ahaha~ Sorry- Seems like you were "greased out” by me again. ~

C: Ning-ge, can we get the trending topic to #1? LYN: There’s no need and I don’t think it would get that far. My trending topics can’t really make it to #1, because it’s a normal occurrence. At the very beginning, maybe it was something new. But now I stream too much and the “LYN_Livestream” topic is a staple. It’s not fresh anymore. No one is very interested in it anymore. C: You’re at #8 now. LYN: Friends, when I’m trending now I have this senses of terror. Before, I would be trending sometimes too. But as soon as I clicked in to the topic it would be to find a bunch of people cursing me out. I don’t want to really look at the trending topic now. I fear it’s going to mess with my good mood.

LYN: How about… I take a look? - /browsing/ C: Ning-ge don’t be afraid. LYN: A bunch of you are in here saying, “Don’t get flustered.” C: LYN is the coolest! LYN: Let me tell you- if you say that you’re going to get yelled at. There are going to be people on you, telling you to “eat better.” They’re going to DM you immediately, telling you that you can do better. For example I like eating Lanzhou noodles. I just like noodles, so I say, “Noodles are the best.” Then someone comes up to your door and says, “Hey. Eat better.” Don’t post things like “LYN is the coolest”, because you’re likely to get reported.

C: Ning-ge, it’s okay. You can look this time. LYN: What they mean by that is it’s okay for me to look in the topic, because everything in there is positive? Another thing is that I’m streaming right now and maybe those of you who are watching have created a blank slate for me. You’ve made it so that I can’t see all the bad comments. This friend is telling me it’s okay to look. But the problem here is that their “it’s fine” is typed as ’没失‘ and not as ‘没事’ as it should be. LYN: … LYN: As in the “失” that means “to die”. As in “to lose”. I guess they mean to say “It’s okay. You won’t die.” LYN: Amazing. /sarcastic/ You sure are talented!

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C: How much are the concert tickets? LYN: The sales haven’t even started yet!! Stop asking, please. The tickets are how normal concert tickets are priced. There are all sorts of ranges. If you want to sit closer to the front it’ll be more expensive. If your luck is bad, just get a cheaper ticket in the back and be done with it. It all depends on your own ability. This is normal. I am unable to tell you how much they will cost at this time. Because I don’t even know if I’ll be able to hold it in the first place or not. How can you be negotiating prices with me already?

C: Ning-ge, did you use double eyelid tape for Spring Festival? LYN: /laughs/ /sobers/ What are you talking about?! It’s like this friends- my friends on the small side, but actually I do have inner double eyelids. I you look at me from this angle- I have double eyelids. But once I open my eyes they turn into monolids. The problem is… maybe I’m getting older? You know how when you age, your eyelids start to… sag? It’s a clear and obvious sign of aging- either they’re swollen or sagging. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning and head straight to makeup- there’s four layers.

LYN: In the leaked shots from set, some people comment, “Why do Ning-ge’s eyes look different? Has he used double-eyelid tape?” No. It’s not a double-eyelid It’s a triple eyelid. And then, sometimes as I shoot throughout the day, there will be a close-up shot. I turn my head- this eye is triple-lidded and this eye is single. I look like this:

LYN: One big, one small. The director will see that and say, “Um… Let’s not shoot this scene right now. We’ll wait until nighttime, when your eyes are less swollen. It’s just a simple turn of the head (it can wait).” Yeah. I’m getting older.

C: Ning-ge, you should instantly do some Thermage treatment. LYN: Is that something you can do in an instant? I mean- I know I’ve mentioned Thermage before, but it’s not something that can be- it’s not something that I’m constantly doing. I’m not doing it anymore. The past year- the last time I did it was a year ago. I don’t do it anymore. I don’t need it. Now I do “cao sheng pao”. [t/n: idk what that is.] Now that really hurts.

C: Lao-da, why do you keep squeezing your eyes? LYN: They’re kind of uncomfortable. I have a bit of a bad habit, which is I like to do this: /scrunch his nose, then blink his eyes hard/ Sometimes it itches. I don’t know why but lately the inside of my nose has been really itchy. That’s why I keep needing to twitch my nose a little.

C: Ning-ge, are you flirting with me? LYN: /laughs/ You shouldn’t have such delusions.

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C: /comment about his red socks on Spring Festival/ LYN: It wasn’t that purposeful, but you have to wear red on New Years, right? But who knew that those pants were- It was kind of cold that day, so- even if I were on stage I’d still wear my thermals. I wanted to wear my thermals on stage, but figured I should also put on some socks. But because of the thermals the pants turned little shorter, so you could see my red socks. I was thinking about changing into black socsks, but we had already reached the stage and it would be troublesome to change, so I just wore the red socks. I figured you wouldn’t be abe to see it so clearly, anyway. Doesn’t matter.

C: What should I do if I can’t finish my homework? LYN: If you can’t finish it, then go do it. Why are you telling me? Do you want me to do your homework for you? There are such things as designated drivers, do you want a designated writer now? You want me to do your homework for you? Why don’t you learn well and do your own homework.

C: What should I do if I’m tired of/at work? LYN: I already said, didn’t I? There’s no such thing as “easy” in the world of adults. We’re all tired. You can… not work. But if you don’t then you’ll go hungry. What else can you do? You can only be tired. I’m not trying to discourage you, but I do think that’s it’s okay for young people to work harder and be a little more tired. If you can work hard while you’re young, you should. Don’t be like me, who’s just started trying at my age- we don’t have hope. Well, I can’t say “at my age”- just, when you’re a little older. I still have a little hope. C: I have to work hard so that I can buy tickets to your concert. LYN: Right! It’s a sort of motivation. Even if you don’t go, you should do well at work so that you can earn more money. Right? I know it’s not easy. When I was working- I was working in a clothing shop during the day and when I got off work there I went to the bar to sing. I had two jobs in a day. For what? To earn more money so that I could live a better life. These two jobs added together earned me a little less than 4,000rmb. Singing at the bar, I only made 800 in a month.

C: Ning-ge, are there souvenirs from Spring Festival? LYN: You go to Spring Festival and even come back with souvenirs? Actually, there were. Those dragon hats you saw on tv- there were those. Let me see if I can find it, and if I can I’ll wear it for you. If I wear it, it will prove that I was actually there.

LYN: There it is. They gave us this hat and a bunch of other things, like a Lego set. It was of the tv station’s advertising car. All nice. - /starts shaking his head do the puff balls hit him in the face./ LYN: Smacking myself.

C: Raffle it. LYN: Why should I? It took great effort to be on Spring Festival at all and they gave me stuff to commemorate the evening with, and you want me to raffle it off?? One day when I’m old I won’t have any thing to prove that I’d been there! Why should I raffle it? If you want it, buy it yourself.

C: Ning-ge, your dancing has improved. LYN: Save it. The Spring Festival stage was different than stages that I’m usually performing on. How? For example the Weibo World Festival, or Weibo Night- for events like that if I have a performance I will usually spend the day before in rehearsal. During rehearsal, one of my staff will record it so that I can see the overall effect of the stage. If the camera angles change, they might record the monitors so that I’m more aware during my performance where I should stand or when to maintain my expression, or where I should pay attention in singing. Based on what I see while monitoring the rehearsal, I can adjust for my performance the next day. But Spring Festival is different. They do not allow staff to record, so you have no idea how you’re doing on stage. That’s number one. Number two, Spring Festival will not send the video of your performance to you. So that means that even if I went to rehearse four times, I have no idea what I looked like each time.

LYN: I want to say- I thought I was dancing pretty well! I thought, “Wow, I’m so lively!” Because the thing about Spring Festival is that everyone on stage is happy- to bring all the viewers in front of their tvs happiness and harmony. It’s the New Year! People should be having fun! You need that feel, so I was super excited while dancing. Also, there was part of the song- (the shiny, shiny part)- the dance move for this was supposed to be, and you’ll know if you watched the backup dancers- /dances/. Normally it’d be like this- the two legs together. Maybe you can’t see because this camera is too close. Let me adjust. Normally, it’s supposed to be like this- I’ll move farther back (so you can see). - /demonstrates/ LYN: It was supposed to be like that. You’ll know if you saw the backup dancers. But! After DZS and I learned the dance we had to take a moment to self-reflect. Because we thought this move was a little… improper. It just felt like… because the backup dancers had other moves interspersed, it didn’t look as out of place. But DZW and I had to hold a mic and sing too, so twisting like that felt a little… inelegant. Two grown men squirming about like that was kind of girly, kind of- C: Brushing the edge. [擦边 (cā biān)] [t/n: says Baidu: “vulgar behavior that relies on revealing clothing and provocative behavior to attract attention”] LYN: Not that! It didn’t warrant the use of that vocabulary. What the heck are you talking about??! Are you trying to end me? Are you really my fan?? LYN: In any case- it wasn’t brushing the edge. It just felt too inelegant. We didn’t think that would fly. So we communicated with the choreographer, and asked if we could raise the difficulty level up a bit. What does that mean? It means we arranged side steps. Left, right. Left, right. - /demonstrates/ LYN: And we would wave at everyone with this hand. /waves/ Like that. LYN: Isn’t that better? In the end we discussed it and the choreographer agreed to let us change the move. So that’s how we changed it.

LYN: And then- I was telling you earlier- at Spring Festival, there’s no way to watch the playback. I thought it was a super happy performance. I thought I danced so well, and I was ecstatic. I even made the movements bigger. But I never saw the playback. Later- that is, after Spring Festival- I got off work and returned home to watch the performance. Oh my god. Standing at 1.9m tall with legs like chopsticks, and my movements were so big! Among everyone else it felt like two forks dancing across the stage. Like a huge, happy spider. /sigh/ If I had known I would have restrained myself a little. I would have made the movements just a little smaller. You know what it was? Let me imitate it for you. You might not know just from how I’m describing it. It was like this: - /normal ver: small side-step movements/ LYN: But I was like: /starts the music/ Okay. Here it comes. - /lyn ver: huge, happy spider/ - /runs into his chair/

LYN: In order to make it more cheerful I almost flew off the stage. C: Your movements weren’t that large. LYN: Close enough.

LYN: /in pain/ I overdid it and stepped on the chair. I heard my bone crack. LYN: I’m not kidding. Ouch. Hold on, let me play you a song. LYN: Let’s leave it along to let it recover. When I was bouncing around earlier I stepped on one of the wheels. It just happens to also be the foot I broke last year. I think it’s okay- it just hurts. Let me leave it alone for now. - /long pause/ LYN: I’m okay! Let’s leave it. /breathes heavily/ Wait for me a sec. I’ll use the restroom. Let me walk it off. Hold on- I’ll play a video for you.

-- break #3

LYN: /self-berating/ You’ve done it now. Hm? You’ve done it now, haven’t you? What are you doing all the time, and so improper? I can’t wait to see how you embarrass yourself to death on livestream. Embarrass yourself because you’re trending. LYN: I just checked- it’s not where I broke it before. I’ve just sprained my ankle a little. It’s okay. We’ll leave it alone for now and see how it feels. Later I’ll have a staff bring me some yunnan baiyao to spray on it. LYN: I’m fine. Just sprained my ankle, so let me rest for a bit. /sigh/ Too embarrassing! // It’s not where I broke it- that’s on the foot. I just checked and it’s my ankle. I was bouncing around earlier, and you know how the chairs have four legs? I stepped on one of the legs and the chair rolled away from me. After that it made a cracking sound. My staff has gone to get me medicine. It’s all good.

C: It’s better to elevate the foot. LYN: ? Really? Does that work? /props his foot on the other chair/ Then, how about this? I’ll stream while laying back. C: You need more calcium. LYN: Yes, I do. I bought supplements but haven’t taken them. I’m afraid to grow taller. That would be bad. I’m already 1.9+m, if I few another 1-2cm I’d be done for. C: Mainly, you need more sun. LYN: I can’t do that because If I do then... I’ll get too tan. I need to be in front of the camera everyday, so If I get tan that wouldn’t look nice. Forget it.

C: Would you still grow taller? LYN: … I don’t know. I’m just afraid to. C: You’re already so old, why would you? LYN: I really can grow taller! Humans are always growing. It wouldn’t be much, but even 0.5mm is still growth isn’t it? Even sometimes when you break a bone and the space between the two pieces heals wider that it used to be, you’d grow a little as a result/ C: Ning-ge, you’re almost 40. Can you still grow taller?

LYN: … /looks into the camera and huffs/ /sighs/ /cries/ If you didn’t tell me, I would have forgtten that I’m almost 40.C C: Ning-ge, you’re 18. Forever 18. LYN: I don’t need that. There’s really no need. You don’t have to use these types of methods to comfort me. “You’re 18. Forever young. You’re a flower.” If I were really to be comforted by such outrageous comments then I would find myself to be outrageous. C: Lao-da just turned 18 this year~ LYN: It’s whatever. Doesn’t matter.

- /puts his foot down/ LYN: I think it’s okay. It doesn’t hurt as much anymore. Don’t worry, friends. It doesn’t hurt. LYN: How embarrassing is this, though? It’d be fine if I were to sprain my ankle while filming- that’d be a work-injury. But to sprain my ankle in my own house, my own room, while jumping around for my livestream- that’s plenty shameful.

C: Lao-da, you’re trending at #2 now. LYN: Really? I don’t believe you. - /checks it out/ LYN: You must have meant to say #12. I was wondering how I would rise to such a high level. It’s 12, not 2. You missed a “1” in there. C: #9 in My Orbit.// #2 in My Orbit. LYN: Don’t look at “My Orbit”- its because you’re following me, that you see me so high up.

C: You got happy for nothing. LYN: No. I’d feel guilty for having such a high trending topic when I don’t have any songs or dramas to promote anyway. It’s only because I’m streaming and weibo is nice to me, so they recommend my stream to everyone to let them now that I’m live. Weibo is promoting me, so it’s giving me a push. After they recommend it, maybe people who had never seen my stream before just so happen to have opened their apps and can click in to sit for a while. If they’ve got nothing else going on, it’s nice to just sit here for a while. It’s fun, here. I want to thank everyone who came to watch me today, as well. Even if you aren’t my fan, I hope you can subscribe. I am Modern Brothers Liu Yuning.

C: Were you nervous for Spring Festival? LYN: Was I nervous? I was. Because with Spring Festival it’s… how should I put this… it doesn’t let you feel secure. The rehearsals are in rounds. For example I went to rehearsal the first and second times, but not the third. It felt like our stage was taken out of the lineup and it felt embarrassing. I feel like it’s embarrassing, because you go so many times. People were looking forward to it- friends and family alike- and if in the end the program doesn’t make it in the lineup I would feel like it’s disgraceful. I was nervous up until the moment we performed. But as soon as you’re on stage and performing, it’s not as bad. Once your ON the stage, it’s okay. You just have to have fun. I mean, look how much fun I was having just now. C: I was worried to death when you didn’t go to the third rehearsal. LYN: The third time I really couldn’t get away from the drama crew and the Festival coordinators were really understanding so they just told me to go the next time. They told me it would be okay to rest and I was grateful for it. That time, I couldn’t request any more time away. Of course, my family was also monitoring my appearance, and they were sending me messages to comfort me (thinking he was out of the show). “It’s okay. There’s always next time. If you can’t go this year, you’ll go next year.” To which I had to reply, “No- It’s because I didn’t have time to go to the rehearsal. I’ll be at the next one.”

C: It’s my birthday. Can you wish me a Happy Birthday? LYN: Happy Birthday.

C: I’ve sent 100 comments already. Look at me. LYN: Thank you.

C: Today is my friend’s birthday. Can you wish them a Happy Birthday? LYN: … :| There’s no need, right? It’s your friend’s birthday and they’re not even watching my stream but you want me to wish them a Happy Birthday? What’s the point of that??

LYN: No one has told me what the “20yuan new fan” thing means. I still don’t get it. But I guess it means that you’re new fans? If I’m guessing correctly they’re a new species of fans. XD At least here with me. They’re a new species. That’s nice. C: You’re so up to speed, you really don’t know? LYN: I really don’t. It used to be that I really enjoyed scrolling through weibo or the short video platforms, to see things relating to me. But then I found out that sometimes after I saw those posts, I would be unhappy. The way I found to fix that was to not scroll social media at all. A lot of the artist friends around me all choose not to look either; and they really don’t. After I stopped looking I became a lot happier. Really. These things can influence your mood. So I decided not to look at them, and my mood has become much better. Truly. I really don’t look at them anymore. I just deleted the apps. They’re not worthy to be on my phone. LYN: When I see bad things, I don’t have much of an interest. Even now, I don’t much look at things relating to me. Sometimes I’ll see the popular and trending stuff but I’ve really cut down on the content and comments related to myself.

LYN: My mentality is already in a good place, so you don’t have to try to comfort me or anything. There’s no need. I’m really doing very well. I think I’ve matured. People go through all sorts of experiences, and it’s only after you’ve gone through them that you grow. If anything I’ll watch some funny clips or cuts from movies, and that’s also fine.

C: Why haven’t they brought you the yunnan baiyao yet? LYN: They don’t live with me. They’re in the hotel, so it’s not a big rush. It really doesn’t hurt much anymore. It was only a sprain. It’s okay. LYN: You know that I’m on the tall side, so I’m prone to twisting my ankle. Whenever I’m shooting for the dramas, I always twist my ankle. It was the worst in the first drama I shot. Then, I twisted it during CGX. Then later, I broke my bone. In any case, twisting my ankle is- /staff arrived/ You’re here?

C: Ning-ge, it’s also my birthday. I want to hear your “loser literature.” LYN: Do you really want to hear my loser literature, or do you want to curse at me? If it’s the former, I already demo’d it earlier. Later when I stop streaming, you can scroll through the playback. I did it quite a few times. LYN: ~ Sorry, I won’t imitate it again. ~

- /someone asks why they’re not applying the medicine/ LYN: It’s okay, they’re working on it. But don’t worry. I’m old enough and can take care of it myself. You don’t need to worry about me. Later, I’ll- how long have I been streaming for? 2hours, 47 minutes. When it’s 3hours, I’ll leave. There are still 13 minutes left for me to chat with you. - /medicine time/ LYN: It’s OK now! I applied the medicine. It’s no big deal.

C: Ning-ge, is your new drama going to air soon? LYN: None of my dramas are going to air soon. I’m still filming the current one. As for the ones that are already done filming I really have no idea when they’ll air. I’m not going to worry about it, and just keep on filming. So- /thinking hard/- we’ll just wait. There’s no rush. I’ll get my album out first, and later I’ll be shooting for a variety show. So you don’t have to worry about not seeing me. I’m going to go record for a variety show; I’ve heard it’s going to be fun. So later you can watch it. LYN: Right now there are… just a bunch of dramas that are waiting to be broadcast and I don’t know when they will be. Some of them need to wait for the right time, because it’ll air on two platforms at once. It’s hard to find a common time, so we’re in a bit of an uncomfortable position. All we can do is wait. But I just need to keep shooting, is all.

C: Zi Chuan. LYN: I only had around 190 or so scenes, if I remember correctly. It’s 48 episodes, and I only have 190 scenes. Honestly, it’s not that much. I don’t remember if that was the number, but it has to be around 200. Tian Xing (Floating world/Heroes) is also around 200 scenes. I didn’t shoot more than that. I don’t appear very much. C: Cicada Girls? LYN: That was also around 100 scenes? That one was really little, because it’s only 24 episodes long. I finished filming for that in two months.

C: Ning-ge, as long as you’re in it, it doesn’t matter how many scenes you have. LYN: Right. All you have to do is watch. For dramas, I feel like as long as I’ve participated in it, you can take a look. It’s rare that I got the opportunity to be an actor AND actually act in something, so all you have to do is support me and support the dramas I appear in, and respect my decisions.

C: Ning-ge, will you still be shooting dramas when you’re 60? LYN: I don’t know, probably not? I probably wouldn’t be. Let me… not continuously shoot dramas like that. LYN: We’ll see as we go.

C: Keep acting when you’re 60. Then there’s no doubt when you call yourself a veteran actor. LYN: Am I in this until death do me part? It doesn’t matter if I act terribly or how the drama turns out, I should still self-praise and say, “I’m a veteran actor. Because I’m 60!”? LYN: Is that allowable? Let’s forget about it. Let me enjoy my old age. At the most I’ll hold a concert when I’m an old man, at which point I will tear my shirt off for you. I probably won’t be acting, but let’s wait and see. I think I’d be able to pull off a concert at 60, though. All the little old ladies here in the stream can watch an old man go barechested together. LYN: Yes- when I’m 60 and holding my concert I’ll tear my shirt off. I don’t know which song it will be but I will just need to tear it off. I wouldn’t know why. I’m already so hot I’m left in just my undershirt, but it will be so warm that I have no choice but to remove that undershirt. Think about it- I’ll be 60 and probably not have much strength left. For fear that I would not be able to tear the shirt with my own strength, I’ll have to make a cut in the collar in advance. Even if I wanted to tear it, I’d have to cut it in advance. And then if that doesn’t work, I can use me teeth and pull at it with both hands. It’s all possible. LYN: Someone said earlier that my dancing was skirting the edge. I won’t do it now, but save it for when I’m 60. I’ll hold a concert when I’m 60 and skirt the edge then. For my risque performance it will be of a 60 year old man tearing his shirt off. So you can see a barechested old man. LYN: Oh my god, what if my fake teeth fall out? While I’m using my teeth to help tear at the shirt, my dentures fly out and off the stage? Someone picks them up and says, “I won it in the raffle.” I’m sure that’s something you would do, especially at 60. “Oh, Ning-ge’s not giving anything? Then, I won this in a raffle (of my own making).”

C: Ning-ge, you can have Daimi tear it for you. LYN: Don’t talk about such sad topics, okay? Do you think a dog’s lifespan is that long? At that time there probably won’t be a Daimi anymore. /cries/

C: Ning-ge, will you hold a concert when you’re 80? LYN: Enough, already. I have no way of answering these questions. If I told you, “Don’t worry. I live for music. It doesn’t matter if I’m 80 or 90, I will still share good music with you all.” I think saying that is too much. It’s too much. “I was born to make music. For art.” “I shoot dramas so that I can put my everything into the role.” It’s not worth it. I know these words are easily said, but I don’t believe very many can do. I can’t guarantee that I’ll still be singing at 80. What am I?? I just want to live a good life and spend my days happily. I don’t want to torture myself like that. I’ve been tortured my whole life already. LYN: By that time I should be finding free time. I should have a kid who comes home often to visit me. I should be in assisted living and have a kid who, with a smile, brings their significant other to see me. I’ll prepare some topics of conversation. Their mother will prepare a table full of food. You can talk to me about the struggles in life. Discuss your troubles at work.

LYN: It’s not a playback. This is live.

C: Lao-da, you should go for your physical. LYN: I just came back from doing it! I went mid-last year. Basically, I’m healthy. They didn’t find much. The only thing is that I am a bit calcium deficient. Other than that, nothing major. Everything is good and I’m pretty healthy. I know I look sickly/weak but I’m actually healthy. Only lacking in calcium. But you know- the design of their machine- ANY normal person who goes to test will come out calcium deficient. Honestly, a lot of people are. C: About about weight? LYN: 130+ pounds. I think I’m around 132-134.

C: Will you still be recording for The Truth? LYN: Yeah. As long as they’ll be recording for it, I’ll go. As long as they invite me to go play, I’ll go. LYN: I tend to develop an attachment to the shows I’ve been on before- and this includes all of them. I was even on Fresh Chef 100 twice. As long as there’s a second season and I’m invited, I will find the time to go. I went on WMDG twice, and actually a third season also wanted me. They wanted me for a third season! But I thought I wouldn’t have anything to show for a third season. I don’t know. Actually at that point I really didn’t have time- if I’m doing a drama and variety show at the same time the schedule is pretty strict. Music varieties are not like others, because you have to take time to prepare in advance. You have to practice the song, think about how to rearrange it, and actively participate. You also have to think about the next performance. All while doing that, you have to make sure you’re not overworking so that you can sing well for the actual performance. All in all, a music variety exhausts a lot of your mental capacity. You have to think a lot more than shows where “having fun” is the focus, like reality shows. Those are okay. Music varieties are completed with the help of a lot of professionals, so it’s more difficult.

LYN: Anyway! As long as I have the time I’ll use a few hours to stream for you. I know that after my last drama, a lot of you came to like me. I didn’t even believe it at first, because all of the ah… discussion about me online was not exactly ideal. But the fact that there are still a group of people who were able to like me despite that makes me really grateful. With some things, you can only tell with time. Like me- if you’ve been with me for a while you’ll start to understand what type of person I am. So it’s okay. I have a lot of friends who have walked with me on this path until today and they all know and understand me. I want to welcome all the new friends and if you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo, please do so. The next time I stream it will notify you~

LYN: Some people are typing a question into the comments in a clear attempt to trick me. You’re not good people. I’m talking to you. You’re not a good person. It’s the New Year. Do good things. There are so many people asking me…

C: Wonderland of Love was the coollest! LYN: I only went there to cameo. Are you saying that the drama was cool, or that you liked my appearance in it? In any case, it was just a cameo, which was fun. And I was happy to be involved, because they were really attentive to my appearance. They carefully selected a wardrobe for me, and did my hair and makeup well. They were serious about it, even if I was just there to cameo. I felt respected. I was happy to cameo and to promote it when it started airing. It’s not as if I had the greatest influence, but I was happy to do what I could to promote it. Even though I was just there to cameo, I felt respected and they were serious about making me look decent so that I could leave a little role there. It was nice. LYN: I feel like the hair/makeup and wardrobe for dramas nowadays is so amazing. It’s good though, and just goes to show how this industry is improving. We’re all striving for the best.

LYN: Sometimes when I’m walking down the street, some people will call me, “Ning Yuanzhou!” I think it’s nice. Before, it would be: “Modern Brothers! Modern Brothers, right? I’ve heard your song- Jiang Zhen De.” They would know me because of that cover; but that was before. Nowadays whenever I go somewhere I will hear, “Ning Yuanzhou!” instead. I think the happy thing about being an actor is that you can become known as an actor for playing a particular role. And as an actor, you really have to thank all of the roles that you’ve played, because really it’s the character that has made more people like you as a person. It’s not because we as actors are charming, but because the drama’s role is charming. That’s why I’m thankful for all the roles I’ve played before that have let more people know of me. Even if the previous character was not very outstanding or from a drama that was not very popular, there can still be those one or two fans who have won the lottery and started to like me. That’s also something the drama brought to me.

C: I’ve watched all of your dramas and now I’m at a loss. LYN: Don’t make it seem as if I’ve been in very many dramas. The very first drama I was in was Hot-Blooded Youth and honestly I didn’t know how to act back then. Of course, I still only act pretty averagely even now. But then I didn’t know a thing about acting. I was relying on my instincts. The ones after, too. I didn’t really know how to act. I started to get the hang of it- I had an epiphany- for BCF’s role, because I got too into it. I got into it and then it went to my head. I know how some people talk about immersing themselves in the role, and I understood it, but I didn’t really FEEL it until that role. LYN: When I first started people told me that being an actor was an art that leaves you with regrets. No matter what role you play, you will always leave it with regrets. You’ll think about how you could have performed better. It’s an art that leaves you with regret. But BCF was the only role I feel like I didn’t leave with regrets. Why? Because I don’t think that if I had a second chance to play the role I would have done a better job. That’s what I think. Maybe I could do better performance-wise, but in terms of the emotion I don’t think I could do better a second time. LYN: After that role when I acted I started thinking about different approaches to a scene that I could have handled better. I started having my own sense of… what do you call it? My brain’s not working anymore. Sense of… it’s right on the top of my tongue. Sense of self-review. But I really think that if you had me go back to play BCF again- I know I didn’t have all the techniques and acting tricks down but the emotion was real. It’s not a state of mind that I can reach again.

C: The trick to acting is not acting at all. LYN: Not so. I don’t really dare to talk to you depth about acting because I know that I am just an amateur. If I talk to you about it I’m sure that people are going to ridicule me saying, “Oh, look. This singer thinks he knows anything about acting.” But I’ll learn from the actors I work with. It doesn’t matter how small their role is, I will still observe how they act. If there’s something good to learn, I will absorb it. I’m that type of person. LYN: You say that “the trick to acting is not acting at all.” Really, that’s not completely true. I guess it would depend on what type of drama it is. For example, if you are supposed to be someone who’s been stabbed through with by a spear, tell me how they’re supposed to act that out. How would you know what it feels like to be stabbed by a spear? How would you act? Or for example, you’re walking along and get shot. I know they say to use your real feelings but, are you really going to get shot in order to act that out? So, you still need to act. You still need the element of acting- the performance. Acting is acting. The logic behind “not acting’ is just to make it more lifelike. So that people don’t feel like it’s too fake. C: Lao-da, can you act it out now? LYN: What? Getting shot? I was shot in my first drama- Hot-Blooded Youth, as WCF. He was shot and died. BCF jumped off the building and died- that’s a second way of dying. Another drama, also- oh, forget it. In any case, they all… (died). There’s also death by poison. There’s also death by getting stabbed with ten spears. You can say, “Ning-ge, the secret to acting is by not acting at all.” You’ve been stabbed by ten spears. How do you act that? Get stabbed, so you know what it feels like for real? “Oh, this is how it feels! I don’t need to act now!” C: LMX died from sickness. LYN: LMX just silently passed in his sleep. He fell asleep and was gone.

LYN: I think all that I’ve experienced in these past past five years have, especially in the recent 6-12 months- made me enjoy acting even more. Because now I know what’s good and what’s bad. I can differentiate. Even choosing scripts, roles, and teams. I have an awareness now. I didn’t used to think so much about it. I used to think that as long as the job fulfilled one of the requirements I was satisfied. But sometimes you realize that’s an uncomfortable path to take. Now I’ve gained the ability to distinguish between good and bad, and that’s a good sign of growth for me. C: The script is very important. LYN: Of course it is. The script is number 1. The script is number 1 and without it, nothing else follows. I think it’s very important. I’m talking about the majority of the dramas that are being shot right now- the script is number 1. It’s not like a movie, where you can have a lot of time to build up chemistry. For example, if there are five actors. These five need to work together to flesh the scene out- I say something, then you say something. Or, I’ll add something here, and you say something in reply so that we can have a back-and-forth. There’s a creative atmosphere that’s really great. I’ve had a couple dramas like that, but I’m not going to say which. There was one where the actors present in the scene said a bunch of fun stuff. For example, if there are five-six of us on scene we could create a really fun atmosphere that takes the basic structure of the scene and add that extra layer of character building. I think that’s something we as actors should do, as long as we are given the creative freedom to do so. When you are able to create with your fellow actors you’ll find every day enjoyable and fun. When you get on set you can share your ideas and play off of each other. As an actor, that’s the thing I found most enjoyable while shooting. On the other hand, in dramas where you don’t have that creative freedom, you just act as the script directs. You feel like it’s only work and it doesn’t bring you any joy. So, you really do need to chance upon a good script.

C: BYOL. LYN: For that drama, honestly, I was really… relaxed. Because I hadn’t shot any modern dramas before that, so my only requirement for myself was that I was real and relaxed. Tao-jie was a big factor, since for most of that drama she was the one opposite me. She’s really great, as you know, and led me well. With her, I could act however I wanted to. We added a lot of content- like teasing remarks. For example, the “What’s wrong? You’re screaming so loudly!” in the scene where she sees the two reptiles. I think she says something like, “Take those digusting things away” and I reply, “What “things”? These are my brothers. In English, they’re my homies.” We added a lot of things like that. We played around and were really relaxed. Of course, there’s are certain degrees to a scene so in the end it wasn’t added to the drama but the feel was still there. We were creating nonstop and fitting things together, with very realistic banter. There was a lot that we put together on scene. Sometimes it can be really interesting and meaningful. - (t/n: he slipped while talking and called it YNGS, but really it’s supposed to be BYOL.)

LYN: Sometimes I see people commenting on my acting, and I will also read those comments seriously and accept what they’re saying. If they have a point, it’s something I make sure to work on in the future. I acknowledge what they’re saying. I see the comments on my acting, and- /laughs/- it’s quite interesting. They talk about an actor’s facial expressions, our reactions. It’s like- - /Daimi starts barking/ LYN: Okay, I won’t talk about this. If there wasn’t such a big topic of public opinion, I really would like to share my thoughts about it with you. But if I say anything then there is also bound to be some unreasonable backlash. Honestly, I’m just chatting and I don’t try to speak with any motives. This is just my small and insignificant livestream.

LYN: I think it’s the medicine my staff ordered for me. (The reason why Daimi’s barking) LYN: Daimi. Come here. I’ll give you an opportunity to show your face on camera. Let’s prove that I’m not oppressing you. LYN: Come here. Give your Aunties and Uncles a New Year’s bow. LYN: We haven’t trimmed her fur lately so she’s looking a little haggard. She’s got stray hairs. She doesn’t have any schedules lately so she’s unkempt and there’s hair in front of her eyes, so you can’t really see them. LYN: Here, look here. To the front. LYN: She’s gotten fatter lately. I held her while going up the stairs and I think she’s gotten too fat. Fat and round, like a gas tank. I’m thinking of taking her to see YOLO (热辣滚烫). So she can see other’s determination and self-reflect. D: /barks/ (Don’t talk shit about me, dad.) LYN: Bark, bark. Why are you barking? Shush. LYN: Did you want to say something? Speak. What do you want to say? Speak. Didn’t you have something you wanted to say? Say it. I’m giving you mic, you can speak. Say something. Huh? /gets ignored/ Hey! Speak! LYN: Want. A. Sausage? (x2) LYN: Okay, forget it. I’ll let her go.

LYN: Okay, friends. It’s about time. I should stop streaming now. If you still haven’t subscribed to my weibo, please do so. If I wrap up early in the next few days I’ll stream for you again, okay? Thank you all for keeping me company and I hope you had a relaxing, happy, and wonderful night. It was great to have you, and I hope you had fun. Let’s meet again in the next stream. Goodnight, everybody!

#Liu Yuning #lyn livestream #(3:24:01)#[no topics bc he's lapped me and I need to catch up]

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son1c · 1 year

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Talking in your asks about Sonic Prime stuff repeatedly made me wanna show you my own fanmade shatterverse (Violet Hill Zone) but I felt like it'd be weird to just come on here and dump a bunch of things on you so instead I decided to draw Prism with my blue bunch of energy Cicada (aka the Sonic of my shatterverse)

Correct me if I'm wrong here but I imagine that even though Prism is trauma free, he's still a shy boi, so Cicada's massive amount of energy catches him off guard hehe-

To tell ya about Cicada, they're very much the hyperactive bit of Sonic, very energetic, loud, rambles a lot, very neurodivergent out of 10. I debated trying to be secretive about what the deal with Violet Hill is but nah. So basically I got very inspired by New Yoke/Yolk City and went for that "What if Sonic wasn't there" theme but replace Sonic with Shadow and replace the winning party being Eggman/The Chaos Council with it now being The Black Arms. So basically Cicada's morals are rather screwy cause of the Black Arms making them one of their own, they do that Sonic thing of "doing what they think is right" but what they think is right is uh. Biased-

Suffice to say, I think Prism would get along well enough with Cicada at first but then he finds out all that and uh. Sorry Cicada I gotta take you down to protect Nine and make sure you aliens don't swipe in to take New Yoke as well after he brings down The Chaos Council </3

Also two notes for the folks at home

> Cicada's pronouns are they/them

> Plz don't ship Cicada w/ Prism or any other Shadow, they already have a non-Shadow partner in their own dimension that they are very loyal too (part of why they're morally grey at best-)

Here take this Cicada ref image for the road, I'll get out of your hair now-

OMG SCENE SONIC IS SO HUGE BRAIN... if we can have nine inch tails then we should also get scene sonic!!!!!!!!!!!! i love the jacket and the pink accents you gave them so much wow <333 cicada is a sick name too wtf

i think the lore you made for them is really cool!!! + i think them being enemies with prism would be so awesome... the role reversal is so tasty fr

TYSM for drawing prism btw omggg i LOVE how he looks in your style!!! the fluff especially is so <3

#black arms hivemind #for me #prism #prism isn't shy so much as introverted lol like i wouldn't call shadow 'shy' he's just #not a people person #ykwim?

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two-red-lungs · 1 year

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Could you write reader finding out food tlb liked from when they were human/their childhood and making it for them as a gift?

I know you wanted a fic but I have so so many thoughts about each of the boys that I'm gonna collect them all in this post!

The Lost Boys: Their Favorite Old-World Foods

Marko:

The little Italian stallion <3333

I HC him as growing up in inner Florence, Italy, during the artistic revolution. He was fairly elite/in high demand as a model

Basically, a brat with an ego

Still despite rubbing shoulders with the greats, he loved to come home to his family’s little city house and eat his mamma’s cooking

I think Marko’s favorite ‘old world’ dish is Garmugia: a simple springtime soup with cured pancetta, lima beans, scallions, and all sorts of other green veggies

It’s not fancy or especially delicious at all. But I think the smell, the taste, would make him freeze up, flooded with memories

and maybe for a second he’d stop being a feral, combative, snapping undead animal, and you’d catch a glimpse of the athletic young human from centuries ago

Dwayne:

My personal HC for Dwayne is he got put in a residential school for native Americans at a young age, basically ripped away from his family

He probably escaped, hightailing it out at around 16, and then survived alone on the streets of early 1800s colonizer cities with the rest of the dredges of society

(Which to me gives him a very strong “I fucking hate capitalism I truly hate this country and deep down I do genuinely want to see this broken system burnt to the ground, also FUCK cops” mentality)

I think Dwayne’s most memorable old-world food would be Gingerbread. Not the gingerbread we know: a soft, cake-like bread flavored with molasses, ground ginger, and cinnamon. Very dark and not very sweet

He worked odd (and illegal) jobs to stay alive and when winter rolled around street vendors would sell big hot slices of the stuff

Bringing him some real, legit circa-1810-gingerbread would probably make him remember the far-distant, little moments of actual joy he had in his human life

AND you’d probably be able to convince him to actually talk about his past for once

Paul:

Country boyyyy, I love youuuu

In my mind Paul is rural midwest, late 1800s when the industrial revolution was really kickin’ off and the cities were poppin (with drugs and alcohol lmao)

He was probably raised on a farm & did farmwork most of the time. Picture him in a low ponytail and work duds, pitching hay. That was probably for the best because that dude 100% has dyslexia and a math learning disability

But oooooh he was prettyyyyy and he knew it: I think Paul eventually ran away from his family’s farm and basically became a partyboy in a big city, like New York, and was changed there

I think Paul’s favorite old-world food is (brace for the cliche) Apple Pie!

Probably a rare treat his momma and sisters would cook up in the autumn and winter: smelling a good, home-style pie now makes him think of barefoot evening sitting on the farmyard porch, listening to cicadas

Unrelated, but I think Paul- that’s right, partyboy druggie bonerboy Paulie- still remembers how to tie a hog

David:

I have conflicting thoughts abt this motherfucker

His backstory HC for me is still a little elusive, but I have some basic details for him

He comes from a pretty fucked-up biological family (probably a crazy-abusive dad and absent mother), was 100% drafted in a war at some point (I suspect the civil war), and 100% deserted his station in that war. Out of cowardice, fear, or distain, I don’t know.

I don’t think David really has a favorite food?? He’ll eat plain rice. Plain, oily noodles. Hard-tack biscuits. Literally anything like whatever it’s not his personal thing

David like drinking and smoking. I think David’s favorite old-world vice is Irish Whiskey. Again, not the drink we think of. A lot less refined, very rough and coarse: it was the most popular and easily-accessible spirit in the 1860s

I think it reminds him of ‘simpler times’: just him, alone, human, in a dingy old bar, getting the cheapest drink he can get, ducking his head to avoid being seen by military officials and wondering where he can run away to next

Give him a straight shot of Irish whiskey in an old-style enameled bar glass and it’s one of the only times he won’t be full-on Mansplain Manipulate Manwh0re: he’ll probably sit on a beachside bench with you, drinking in silence, watching the waves crashing far away. Lost in thought. Looking as old as he really is.

#the lost boys #The Lost Boys 1987 #my writing #ask box

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thotsforvillainrights · 2 years

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Hi!! Thanks for opening up your ask box again so quickly! I love reading all your posts and honestly it's been helping my own writers block a lot too (plz don't mind me lurking on your blog all the time liking all your old posts lol) Do you have any headcanons for what kind of dynamic Kai has with Pops growing up? I wanna write more about Kai myself but I gotta figure out what his family dynamic and background is (Ahhh how I wish we got more deets on Kai's childhood in the series!) Personally, I feel their adopted father-son relationship has always been rocky and that they're never really on the same page with each other, despite caring a lot for each other. I also feel like Kai "grew up quick" in his adolescence and was very mature and stoic for a kid (when he's not angry anyways), so I'm just curious thinking about how Pops influenced/shaped Kai as a person and where their relationship currently stands now (minus the whole putting the boss in a coma situation in canon) Lemme know what your thoughts or person HCs are! I'd like to see if we have similar ideas or if you have something completely different in mind!

(No need for apologies honestly! It makes me feel very validated as a writer and totally motivates me! As far as headcanons about their relationship, I think it might be a little short. Despite this, I think I summed up my opinion below. Hopefully it's not too OOC, but knowing me...it probably will be 😂)

~What about Little Kai and Pops~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-I think he must've been a handful since the day Pops took him in, but the old man could handle it I'm sure. The man was already a father once to his own daughter. He was no stranger to it now. The thing with Chisaki is that the boy wasn't as childish as most kids his age, yet he was at the same time. He usually sported that same stoic face (sometimes replaced by annoyance or anger), but occasionally you can catch his eyes reflecting childlike wonder. I feel like an example of this is maybe they took a trip to an aquarium or something, and I'm sure Kai thought it was maybe pointless when he could just stare at the fish in the Koi pond at home for free. Yet I feel like once he laid eyes on the glow of the jellyfish tank or the sheer size of the Tuna fish he'd just be entranced by them. He doesn't want for much but you bet he wanted a stuffed animal just this once from the gift shop. Pops would be happy to get it for him since the kid rarely asked for things that fit his age.

-Speaking of rarely wanting things that fit his age, Pops probably wasn't the best at celebrating Christmas right away when it came to Kai. He's used to buying toys and various cute items for his daughter, but with Kai it was different. The boy was pretty literate for his age, and his writing was very good (but spelling was off track being that he's a child and all). Kai gave that man a list that consisted of so many books the kids shouldn't be reading. Pops folded and actually got him the Art of War too. Then proceeded to be shocked that Kai sat there and read the thing.

-He wasn't very affectionate. Pops adjusted to the germaphobia to a degree but back then it wasn't as bad as it is now. Still he enjoyed his time that Chisaki spent with him. This was often sitting on the back end of the covered porch playing Shogi in the summer evening. The cicadas played a nice song for them earlier that day; later on silence when the wind blew as the two of them focused. That boy was getting better each and every day. The first time Kai beat him without any help Pops rewarded him by gifting him the old Shogi board passed down from his father to him. Kai cherishes that thing even today.

-Being taken in by the leader of the Hassaikai would have an effect on most small children I think. He's influenced easily by what he's grown up around. He was filthy, alone on that street when Pops had taken him in. The old man housed him, fed him, put him in school, taken the utmost care of him. Chisaki cared more about the old man and the organization more than anything else. That's why he began to get in fights at school. How dare those ingrates talk so lowly of the Shie Hassaikai? Of the organization and the man that took me in when I had nothing left? He sometimes beat the other kids until his fist was sore and dirtied with blood. He got in a lot of trouble one particular day and it took Pops a long time to clear him out. Although Pops saw it as a learning experience, Kai was still determined to gain respect for the Hassaikai even if he had to take it by force.

-He only got worse the older he became. Watching the other organizations around him dwindle down to nothing was a sight to see. The Hassaikai would be next...he knew it, Pops knew it, hell everyone in the group did! Kai was determined to not only keep them out of the downswing but to somehow repay his old man for taking care of him. It's the idea that hit him like a truck when Eri came into the picture. This is where is takes a bitter turn. Pops trusted Kai (his only adopted son) to take care of his only granddaughter. Imagine the heartbreak when Kai kept bringing up his convoluted plan to the old man. On top of that, the boy was losing what little honor he held. The gang fights were aggressive and drug dealing became a thing. No issue for me right? I can wrangle this boy in. I did it once, I'll do it again. Maybe I'll just talk to him. Pops only wanted him to shape up. Kai only wanted to put the Hassaikai on top. Make Pops proud...by any means necessary right?

#sorry i started rambling there #this felt more like an imagine than some headcanons lol #mun speaks

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jaywalkers-against-germination · 7 months

Note

Look at these two.

Couple of Hive Harrys.

Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!

Oh, my!

I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.

Six miles, huh?

Barry!

A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.

Maybe I am.

You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you're interested in?

Well, there's a lot of choices.

But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad, the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.

You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?

That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!

Barry, you are so funny sometimes.

I'm not trying to be funny.

You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

You're gonna be a stirrer?

No one's listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let's open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae.

Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!

I'm so proud.

We're starting work today!

Today's the day.

Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal…

Is it still available?

Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side.

What'd you get?

Picking crud out. Stellar!

Wow!

Oouple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

You want to go first?

No, you go.

Oh, my. What's available?

Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.

Any chance of getting the Krelman?

Sure, you're on.

I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

Wax monkey's always open.

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!

Oh, this is so hard!

Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry?

Barry!

All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine…

What happened to you? Where are you?

I'm going out.

Out? Out where?

Out there.

Oh, no!

I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.

You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?

Another call coming in.

If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd

that gets their roses today.

Hey, guys.

Look at that.

Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?

Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.

It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

Sign here, here. Just initial that.

Thank you.

OK.

You got a rain advisory today,

and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.

So be careful. As always, watch your brooms,

hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.

Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.

Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!

That's awful.

And a reminder for you rookies,

bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans!

All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!

Hello!

You ready for this, hot shot?

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

Wind, check.

Antennae, check.

Nectar pack, check.

Wings, check.

Stinger, check.

Scared out of my shorts, check.

OK, ladies,

let's move it out!

Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

Wow! I'm out!

I can't believe I'm out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

Box kite!

Wow!

Flowers!

This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

Roses!

30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick.

That is one nectar collector!

Ever see pollination up close?

No, sir.

I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there,

a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic.

That's amazing. Why do we do that?

That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

Cool.

I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?

Copy that visual.

Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.

Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?

Affirmative.

That was on the line!

This is the coolest. What is it?

I don't know, but I'm loving this color.

It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it.

Yeah, fuzzy.

Chemical-y.

Careful, guys. It's a little grabby.

My sweet lord of bees!

Candy-brain, get off there!

Problem!

Guys!

This could be bad.

Affirmative.

Very close.

Gonna hurt.

Mama's little boy.

the ENTIRETY of it??? seriously??

#thoughts are jaywalking

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the-firebird69 · 1 year

Text

Watch "Paul - Trailer 2" on YouTube

youtube

This is a movie that starts today and about half an hour and one of the mutants escaped in this way and the other was grabbed by clones who are at the facility and ran and they took the mutant with them the other one ends up in the movie it mib. Both of them lose their tentacles and the cicada grow. And really the ship is left there after the battle and they run away and hide in the cavern the little one in the big one and they eat a lot of people too to get there and the cicada start growing and killing everybody hit it from the tentacles cuz they're like mutated a little into a super bugs. That's where they come from and eventually they get chased out after they destroys Vegas which is coming up fairly soon much faster than people think because those circadia grow very fast and infest the whole place they have to send in the breeze and you can zappers all sorts of stuff and starship troopers starts up again and this is the main portion of it we're Brazil Buenos Aires was not destroyed yet and they did have a big battle but they didn't even make it there but this is another one after they built their ships back. And there are different bugs and they seem smarter but they can't tell what they are and they haven't seen the mutate into humans or anything so it's on right now and this is going on today all of it it's action our son says finally something real and it is a covert operation of ours and his and he knows really what it's all about but the Terminator series starts and it's starting right now they're launching Terminator attacks on the ship and they'll be used against cicada too and they'll lose against superbugs.

Thor Freya

Wow this is very rude and we're involved and we know we are cuz we're stuck there and yes Brad playing me PGA says but boy this is going to be fun I'm actually going to do stuff and muto and muto attack and then go to Japan and text Japan it's like a giant crabs and then yeah Godzilla attacks and that's another story because the lizard wasn't cut in half

Jenna

I'm not attacking the facts I'm attacking the max

John remillard aka Godzilla

#Youtube

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autumn-oceanopromises · 2 years

Text

12/7/22 - “Traveler’s Heart” v1

It’s Sunday, the 20th of March, 2011. I graduated from high school four months ago, but instead of going to university, I chose to join the army. I’ve been doing pushups for so long my arms are jelly. I won’t be able to lift them over my head later. In the boiling heat of late morning, sweat has started to drip into my eyes. My throat is hoarse with counting the push-ups. “It’s only twenty push-ups, if you lot can do it right,” the sergeant taunts. We crossed ‘twenty’ about two hours ago. The air is rank with the smell of sweaty eighteen- to twenty-one year-old boys. I long, desperately, for my bed, and even more desperately, to be anywhere but here.

My boxy bed in the bunk four floors above has tightly pulled white sheets, except for two giant spots of brown, dried blood, where my abraded elbows stick to them during the night. My whole body is aching. I’m trying to avoid focusing on that. It’s sinking in that I’m trapped here for the next two years, at least. I’m trying to avoid sinking to the ground despite how my arms feel simultaneously like jelly and completely stiff, because doing another twenty pushups feels impossible to me right now. I swallow back a cough.

I’ve coughed all night after being put to an uneasy sleep by the dulcet sounds of Taylor Swift’s Love Story ringing through our barracks for the third night in a row. I think the guys in my section all agreed, for the first time, that if Brian, our first bed and section leader, plays Love Story again on his iPod tonight we’re going to rip the iPod from his hands and put it somewhere he’ll never want to touch.

I fully understand, though. In high school, I exclusively dated blonde or light brunette girls who loved music. That doesn’t mean I enjoy listening to Love Story on repeat for an hour before bed every night. On top of that, the mix of nineteen poorly washed kids and moist towels hung on the beds is a great place for mold and a terrible one for sleep.

The sergeant tells us that one of our members didn’t do the push-ups just right, and the count, hovering one away from our target, gets to start from zero again. I feel like crying. I wish it would rain, but then again, they’d probably have us keep doing pushups in the rain. But then, at least it wouldn’t be so hot.

I’m not used to the heat, anymore. I’ve lived half my life in a country where the winters need three woollen blankets and you can have duvets on your bed until the middle of summer, and everyone has a bubble of personal space that’s like two meters wide. Right now my left shoulder is brushing my “buddy’s” right shoulder. My “buddy” is doing pushups without any hint of strain. I’ve got a great view of the flat plane of yellow-grey concrete below me.

Four months ago, I was walking home from high school. I met absolutely nobody for half an hour. My school shoes ate up my walk, up and over the gently rolling hills, past my primary and middle schools, past the waving branches of century-old trees, where the bright blue sky draped around the earliest red needles of the pohutukawa. Five months ago, I sat on the rocks next to the blue-gold ocean. I talked for hours with a chirpy blonde girl with electric blue eyes. I’ve still got her number on my blue brick Nokia, and I text her every night. I’m trying to avoid remembering green, even though my memory is lush with nights spent in forests when the cicadas were calling, and lazy days lying flat on my back on park grass. I’ve been in the military for five days and I’m already sick of the color green.

Thing is, I chose to join the military. I made this decision. I have a heart condition, where the wall between the chambers of my heart is thicker than average. My medical grading was “Combat Support”. I thought though, that if I had to go to the military, I should be something I could feel proud of myself for. I could be a soldier the way I wanted to be when I was seven, rather than a clerk armed with a computer and a desk. I asked my mum to write to an MP, to get my medical grading upgraded to “Frontline”. She said she’d never gotten a positive response from a politician so quickly in her entire life.

It took me two seconds walking into the parade square for me to regret that decision. I’m also going to regret this decision many more times in the years to come. I traveled six thousand miles to trap myself in the small box of "the army”, seeing the same four walls and the same people, for months on end. I traveled halfway across the world to walk the same routes, to live packed in like tuna, to see the same views, to be forced to build relationships with boys who are only going to vary in how they choose to be cruel to me. I chose to make my whole world, rich and vast in potential and possibility, into a rank prison the size of a shoebox.

When I was walking home from high school for the last time I remember taking in a huge, clear breath of crisp, clean, air. The world stretched before and around me, wide and rich, and every horizon had its adventure, every peak had its view. I try to remember the sound of my girl squeaking when the ocean spray hit her, but the image pops like a bubble with my next heartbeat.

I lose count of how many push-ups we actually do. But when we’re finally allowed to collapse, I get myself to where I can see the sky.

It’s the same blue sky as the sky I saw walking home from high school. I long to be in it, on a plane back home. I long to see a girl with blonde hair and electric blue eyes. I long to be out of this shoebox prison where the walls close in on me. I long to be able to lift my arms above my head any time I want. I ignore my sergeants droning on, and make a vow to myself.

When I’m out of this prison, I'm going to spend my choices on better things. I’m going to have my own love story with the blue skies of the world. I’m going to see the world, every horizon, every view. I’m going to travel into cities locked in the past. I’m going to walk with my eyes wide open, eagerly anticipating the future. I will only take breaths as a traveler breathes. I vow to myself that my heart will only beat as a traveler’s heart.

#spilled ink #spilled prose #traveler's heart v1 #storyworthy #homework for life #12/7/22

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dear-ao3 · 3 years

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According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!

Youguys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey

sticks,dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All

right,here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no!

You'redating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be

lunch formy iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former

queenshere in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see

how,by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but

thereare other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your

smokinggun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out

likethis. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... ...without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But

isn'the your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see

anickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

- bee movie anon

#if i had to see this all you fuckers do to #not a tag #from saph #im not having a good morning and this made me cry thanks for that #the bee movie #long post

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kainscape · 3 years

Text

Slashers with an S/O who talks in their sleep

@chibizombiebehindyou: Could you do the slashers (including Asa and Jesse) with a reader who talks in their sleep?

A/N: Decided to do this in a short prompt type of writing piece so I can practice writing short stories without going way overboard

A/N: okay maybe it’s not as short as I thought but hey, it’s not over 2 pages- yeah no it’s pretty lengthy 💀 and it’s not proofread ‼️

Bo Sinclair

It was a consuming and bone-breaking job that the Sinclair brothers did. Therefore, sleep was never guaranteed. But, with you? You decided on your own that you would keep yourself awake to see Bo come home in one piece. He always brushed your worry off as your so called obsession with him. After a few times of butchering your sleep schedule, it wasn't long before you were fast asleep when Bo retuned home. He made his way up the stairs, shedding his boots at the top. Discarding his mechanic coveralls, he was left in a stained but washed grey t shirt and his boxers. He had heard some quiet mumbling but didn't really look into it. The noise had vanished as he pulled back some of the old cover, slowly resting his body beside you. You had looked dead asleep, your body contracting slow and steady breaths. Exempt your mouth moving and forming words. He smirked, realizing you were taking in your sleep. He had some assumptions about it when you would ask questions with no reasoning. He wasn’t too worried. He propped himself up on his elbow to look over at you. “What do you mean you didn’t see it?! It was as big as your ass dude!” That’s something he’s never heard before. He couldn’t help but genuinely laugh at your behavior, shaking his head until he heard his name. “Well, Bo, what else do you want me compare it to, your dick!? Yeah right.” His face deadpanned, furrowing his eyebrows. He scoffed, turning over dramatically as he rolled his eyes. He faced away from you, biting the inside of his cheek. In the morning, he might tease you or ask questions around what you said. Either way, he’s not bothered by it.

Vincent Sinclair

It had been a long day for the boys and you within Ambrose. What a better way to go to sleep cuddled up together and arise later in the day by Bo? Of course, you were always first within the bed, already dead asleep and dreaming of whatever your mind wander to. Vincent kept awareness of where the creeks were in the floorboards, avoiding them so he could peacefully lay in bed next to your sleeping form. Yet he heard some prominent mumbling coming from you, serving closer and gently easing up the blankets to slip in. He had removed his mask already, carefully turning to face you. You had your arm over your eyes, mouth open and moving from incoherent sentences. But one was clear as day, “I’m convinced Vincent uses Gucci conditioner and shampoo, my god.” You mumbled a few after that but he was utterly confused. Why were you talking about that weird brand you had showed him once, and why did it correlate to your dream?? He shook his head gently, scooting closer and resting his arm across your waist/stomach, pulling himself against your form until he fell asleep to your rhythmic breathing. Sometimes, he’s entertained by your night time conversations.

Lester Sinclair

Your boyfriend had a fairly easy job compared to his brothers, but when there were visitors piling up after one another, it took a whole lot longer to come back home to you and your shared bed. The frogs and cicadas were a whole lot louder than usuals, but it was like a lullaby to you by now. Which queues the small mumbling escaping your mouth. He was quiet when he came, but of course, Lester wasn’t the best at silence. Luckily you were to lost in your dream to realize he was already snuggling in beside you. He had took notice of your nonsense sentences from time to time, not that it bothered him. If anything, it was an entertaining thing to listen to before going to sleep. It gave him a sense of what your brain really thinks of. “Lester… if I dressed up as roadkill… would you pick me up too?” He tried so damn hard to stifle his laugh, his body almost shaking as you formed a stupid grin on your face. Lester took in a deep breath, biting the inside of his cheek as he buried his head into the side of your neck. “Sure, hun’” he was sure to keep his words to a hush, taking note to your shared silence. There was a comfortable coldness that covered your bodies compared to the blistering heat outside. What a way to end the day.

Will Graham

Go to work, panic, panic some more and get no sleep. This was Wills routine even with you trying to hassle him into bed. He was always focused on something, or just simply to stubborn to let himself rest for once. But tonight, he had one hell of an excuse. Jack had kept him for a lot longer than both of you would like. But you knew what you signed up for when you accepted to go on a date with Will. You figured out after multiple nights of fruitless attempts at staying up and waiting for your boyfriend, you just gave in and went to sleep on your own terms. This gave Will the opportunity to overthink in peace without the guilt of making you worry. The job had took a huge toll on his physical capacity, leading him to shrugging off his clothing while he made his way to the side of the bed. He rubbed his eye, yawning as he lifted the blanket to the new queen bed you guys had bought, giving more room for dogs and the two of you. He stopped his motions, watching closely as you turned your body towards him. You were mouthing words but they were quiet and blotched. Will slowly slid underneath the covers, feeling his body sink in the end to a relaxed position. He had took not of your sleep talking, not bothered by it. To be honest, he likes to hear what you would say when you weren’t conscious of it. “I wish we had one of those stress powered lightbulbs…” A very quiet and short chuckle made its way out of you, “of course it’s for you, you could probably power Russia with how much stress you have.” And with that, he scoffed and turned the other way, mumbling to himself before attempting to sleep.

Jason Voorhees

Jason always makes sure you’re getting enough rest for your health. He’s adamant about you being your best self with a healthy body and mind. But, he’s never really surprised to see you up waiting for him time to time, honestly he can’t complain. He loves seeing you there in the cabin with the fire still going as you greet him with that beautiful smile. It’s truly warming for him. The rest of the nights, you’re always in the dark comfort of your shared room, resting atop the creaking bed and under the quilt blankets. The cabin door whipped open, quickly caught by the giant hand wrestling against the harsh winter wind. He tried his best to quietly close the door, pushing the lock in place he had added after a break in from a trespasser happened. He observed the room, laying his machete within the kitchen sink after shedding his jacket and laying it on the chair around the wood table. Expertly avoiding the creaks in the floor, he gently pushed open the bedroom door, slipping in without a sound. There was a severely dim light coming from the window, which shadowed over your face just right so he could see you. Jason had took off his boots while he listening to the common small talk from your sleeping form. You guys had decided to look in all the cabins, landing on the jackpot of a bigger bed so you could have more room. Therefore, it wasn’t a huge hassle for Jason to slip into the bed without the alarm of waking you. You were turned away from him, slow breaths from to body. The hockey mask laid on the dusty end table, facing up as Jason looked down at you. A small smile formed on his lips, listening as your talking grew a little more coherent. “Come on Jason, you got all that cake.. and you’re not gonna give me none?” His smile slowly faded, realizing what you meant by ‘cake.’ It ha mentioned before, especially when you went out of your way to slap his ass and look him in eyes to say, “a whole damn bakery back there..” Jason took it on himself to get used to it, not bothered by the comments. He shook his head, inching down so he could pull you closer to his chest, a very strong arm wrapped around you.

Michael Myers

There’s never a sleep schedule with the two of you. There’s times where Michael is out for days at time, retuning only when your asleep and unknowing. There are those very rare times like this one where you’re aware of Michaels presence in the bed while you drift of into sleep. He’s definitely not the type to pull you close or make a move to hold you, but he’s not going to push you away if you wrap yourself around him. Which is where you lay on his chest, listening to his eternally calmed heart beat as you knocked out. It had took a damn long time, but you achieved the privilege of seeing Michael without the infamous mask you grew accustomed too. His eyes usually zeroed in on the ceiling, waiting until he need to close his eyes came. But this time, he looked down at you shifting a bit in his chest, a few words spoken. “I really don’t know how people can’t smell you form your hiding places.. I can literally smell you before you walk in a room.. it’s not a good thing either.” His eyebrows furrowed together, trying to understand why you were composing about how he.. smelled. Yet here you are, your face completely shoved into his chest. He gave you an unimpressed eye roll, turning his head on the pillow for an attempt at some sleep. He found it rather amusing that you would speak whatever you thought without restrictions when you would sleep talk. Something to quietly tease you about.

Jesse Cromeans

He had already experienced your sleep taking, the cameras in his house capturing anything you did. Sometimes you asked questions or said random comments, all that made Jesse smirk or silently laugh. He had also taken notice to the earlier times you went to bed, your stubborn idea to stay up and wait for him dying down. He didn’t mind this, satisfied with your healthy sleep schedule returning. He set the tapes in a box for tomorrow’s checking. Jesse eased open the bedroom door, a small ray of light traveling across the room to reveal the bed you laid in. The black silk sheets covering your sound figure. He pushed the door back closed, taking off all his work attire to be left in his boxers and undershirt. He shimmied underneath the covers, slowly scooting closer to your body. Of course, there were some unconscious words to be shared. “I just realized I’ve got to sleep in every room…” there was some silence before you spoke again, “why?… look don’t even worry about.” There was humorous tone in the last sentence, one that felt oddly genuine for someone asleep. He shook his head, smiling while he took in your scent that comforted him. His hands caressed any exposed skin as the room fell silent, including his mind as you both shared a deep sleep.

Asa Emory

It wasn’t something he really cared to take notice about, never really sleeping at the same time as you due to his large amounts of work he took on. It was to the point he would drift off into a dreamless sleep on his desk. Not that you could really do anything about it with his stubborn view point, so you kept to yourself and went to your bed without him. Well, went to bed also meant brining a pillow and blanket down to Asas work place and sleeping the the chair. You just wanted to feel your boyfriends presence before you fell asleep. He only looked up for a few before looking back down at the scatter of papers, shuffling though some before writing. You made yourself as comfortable as you could get, sighing as you let your body relax. The sleep came easier than expected, the few sniffles sounding in the room letting you know Asa was still there. It was oddly comforting. A flash of worry did strike you, the worry that your sleep talking would annoy him, causing you to have to leave. But it was worth the few bits of it. Asa sighed, running his hand down his face as he battled the tired feeling back. Lending back in his seat, he crossed his arms while looking up to you in the leather chair. Without a warning, a question was asked out loud from you, “What color box would I get if I was one of your butterflies?” He tilted his head, furrowing his eyebrows before humoring himself by answering, “Red. To match the original one.” It seems like your dream had answered for you, the words quiet on your tongue as your chest arose slowly. Asa took in another breath before rising to his feet, walking over to you. He brought a hand up to your resting face, his thumb brushing your drink. What a beautiful butterfly you would be.

#bo sinclair #slashers #house of wax #lester sinclair #slasher #vincent sinclair #slasher x reader #x reader #fan fiction #bo sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair x s/o #jason voorhees #jesse cromeans x s/o #asa emory x reader #michael myers x s/o #will graham x reader #hannibal 2013 #will graham

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milkiane · 3 years

Text

matters the most

pairings: rafe cameron x reader

warnings: profanities, mentions of alcoholic beverages, sexual comments

word count: 1996

request: give me rafe angst with prompt "god, i can't even look at you"

a/n: all the love to @s1ater as always, and thank you to @iwritesiriusly for being the best <3

love is such a concept that most people would often dream of, wanting the full experience of having butterflies in your stomach, fireworks erupting with every kiss, the messy and complicated rollercoaster ride. everything about love just sounds so beautiful.

love brings two people, from strangers, or enemies, or life-long friends, together and creates sheer happiness and adoration for each other, but love is never always about all that cliché domesticity. sometimes it’s all about the thrill and the danger that it brings along.

it was funny, really. how rafe, who wasn’t afraid to express his hatred for pogues, fell for one. love did work in mysterious ways, they said.

neither of you knew how you lasted for 8 months without getting caught, but both of you knew that the fun wouldn’t last for long before something would come in between.

he didn’t know that his dad and rose would be home earlier than they said. he thought he’d have the house to himself, that’s why he invited you to come. amidst a steamy make-out sesh did they walk in, followed by an argument between the two men. you awkwardly stood behind rafe, lips swollen and cheeks red as rose glared at you.

it didn’t end well, but when does it ever? forbidden love had its perks, but it also had its downfalls. ward demanded to break off whatever liaison his son had with you, whilst still raving about his disdain for the likes of you and how rafe turned out to be just like his disappointment of a sister. rafe decided that he’s had enough and stormed off with you.

that’s why rafe was in the cut at the dead of the night, standing in front of the chateau.

he shook his head, bringing out his phone to give you a call as he brought the large blanket closer to his chest.

incoming call: rafey <3

groaning, you reached out your hand and blindly patted around your bed for your ringing phone. the brightness of your phone glaring at you to the degree, making you hiss.

“rafe? it’s 2 in the morning, why the-” you grumbled, eyes fluttering close as sleep started to glaze over.

“come outside, babe. i’m on your front porch,” he said, taking in the sight of it before silently muttering, “if you could even call it a porch.”

“shut up, rafe,” you groaned, ending the call as you threw your blankets to the side and leaving your warm sanctuary to see your boyfriend. quietly making your way past john b’s room and jj, who was sleeping on the couch.

“what are you doing here?” you asked, wrapping your arms around his torso as he placed a kiss on your temple.

“wanted to come see you, we don’t know to what extent my dad’ll go to make us break up, so let’s make the most of our time,” he shrugged, reaching out for your hand, he intertwined your fingers together and dragged you towards an open space.

rafe unfolded the blanket and spread it out, laying down on it as he opened his arms to invite you in.

snuggling into his embrace, you smiled softly, “you know, i’m usually the one who sneaks out to see you,”

he chuckled, his chest vibrating as he did, “yeah, but we gotta have some change now, i guess,”

you sighed, nuzzling deeper into his arms, “imagine if the clash between the kooks and pogues never existed, if the odds were in our favor, we would have lived happily,”

“we’ll get married,” rafe started, then tilted his head to look down at you, “a beach wedding, d’you want a beach wedding?”

“yeah,” you grinned, playing with the rings on his fingers, “then we’ll have two kids and a dog, and a house in between figure 8 and the cut,”

silence surrounded the both of you, sad smiles on your faces as you looked up at the twinkling stars. the chirping of cicadas and the rustling of the trees serving as a piece of calming music.

after a while, rafe began to speak up again, “are you… are you sure that this is worth all the secrecy, y/n?”

you furrowed your eyebrows, removing yourself from his hold to you look at him, “what?”

he sighed, running a hand through his hair, “i just- we knew it would end one way or another, right?”

you paused, trying to let his words sink in before asking him, “what’re you trying to say, rafe?”

by now, he was already sitting up, “i’m just saying that we just got lucky that we lasted for nearly a year. i mean, it’s far-fetched, you’re a pogue, and i’m a kook. it would have been easier if you were like me,”

you scoffed pathetically, “oh, so it’s my fault now that i was born a pogue? well, i’m sorry that i couldn’t control how life works, that i have to work my ass off 24/7 to keep myself surviving,”

“you know that’s not what i meant, baby, it’s just that-“ rafe groaned, he didn’t know what else to say because that’s exactly what he meant.

“then what is it, rafe? you don’t know how hard it is to work multiple jobs just to keep yourself afloat, it’s unfair how we didn’t choose to live like this, yet you kooks torment us for trying to have food to serve on our tables,” you fumed, “so i’m sorry that we don’t have golden spoons sticking out of our mouths or that our daddies don’t give us whatever the hell we want,”

“i can’t believe you doubted us for even a second,” you sighed, rubbing your eyes to keep your tears from falling, “do you think this was all easy for me, rafe? because no, it wasn’t, but i still loved you with all that i am, with all that i have, because i knew that we’ll get through this.”

“y/n-”

“god, i can’t even look at you right now,” you stood up, grabbing your phone as you made your way back to the chateau, tears gathering in your eyes.

“y/n, wait, c’mon-”

rafe grabbed your arm, but you immediately removed it from his grasp as you whipped around, “you know, i may not have a lot to offer, but i knew that i made you happy and i loved you an awful lot, so i’m sorry if that wasn’t enough.”

you let the tears fall this time, looking at him one more time before going in and slamming the door shut, making jj jump up in surprise, “y/n?”

rafe stood there for a moment, trying to shake away the broken look on your face from his mind. he sauntered after you, knocking aggressively at the front door, “y/n, c’mon, i’m sorry, baby.”

john b rushed out of his room, jumbled and confused as he held the bat up, “wha-?”

you shoved him away and hurried back to your room. the two boys exchanged looks before opening the door. to say that they were shocked to see a disheveled rafe cameron on their doorstep was an understatement, “what the fuck are you doing in here, cameron?”

he ignored them and tried to push past them, “get outta the way, pogues,”

but they weren’t having it, they pushed him back with a glare. he scoffed, looking back once more before slowly backing off, grabbing the blanket before speeding away on his motorbike.

you wouldn’t choose to be here if you had a choice, but alas, if it means working at the midsummers and earning a decent salary with free champagne to drown your sorrows in, then you might just have to.

so, clad in a waitress’s apparel, too tight for your liking, and a tray of glasses of champagne in hand, you maneuvered your way towards the old uppity haughty kooks.

at a respectable distance, rafe was looking at you with a sad look on his face, wanting nothing more than to wrap you in his arms and tell you how sorry he is and how he loves you so much.

it was when topper’s voice snapped him out of his trance, “have you seen l/n’s ass in that uniform? i would’ve done her right then and there if she wasn’t a pogue,”

the sounds of his friends’ laughters fumed him, but instead of saying anything, he shot up out of his seat and approached you.

you momentarily glanced at him and swallowed, “champagne?”

he grabbed the glass that you shoved at his chest, fingers grazing over another, “y/n, please, i just want to talk,”

“i’m not here for you, cameron,” you caught a glimpse of his friends slowly approaching the both of you, sniggering from behind him, “i’m here to earn some money, so if you’ll excuse me,”

but before you could even make your way around them, topper and kelce harshly knocked on your shoulders, the tray of glasses breaking into pieces as it fell.

“watch it, pogue,”

gasps were heard across the room, as you staggered back from the force. you heard pope and jj run towards you, john b and kiara excusing themselves from the guests to follow.

you let out a shaky breath, crouching down to pick up the pieces as ward slowly walked over to scold you.

as they continued to laugh, they risked a glance to see a livid rafe glaring at them instead of laughing along with them, and with that, their laughter died down, a look of confusion replacing their amusement.

rafe looked around, catching the eye of his father who stopped in his tracks, a glint in his eye as if he was daring him to go help you, to ruin their family’s reputation.

without a single doubt, he took the broken shards from your hold and raised you up by your arms, earning another round of gasps from the crowd.

he looked at you, silently asking for permission. when a small smile tugged your lips, he leaned in slowly, closing in the proximity of your lips. your arms wrapped around his neck as his own wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer.

as you heard his father’s footsteps, rafe pulled away and grabbed your arm, sprinting into a run.

“rafe!”

the both of you burst into laughter as you dashed through the crowd, hands still intertwined as you looked for a quiet spot.

you stopped at their backyard, fairy lights hung from tree to tree, and the music from the platform softly echoing. trying to catch a breath, you let your head fall on his chest. rafe’s hand ran through your hair, “i’m sorry, y/n,”

“rafe-”

“no, no. i’m sorry, i didn’t mean what i said, okay? i love you too much,” he cupped your face in his hands, his thumb caressing the apple of your cheeks, “i’ll gladly give up the life i have right now if it means spending it with you. none of this luxury would compare to you, no amount of money would make me happy as you do.”

you pulled him into another kiss, running a hand through his hair. it was slow, sensual, something different from the type of intimacy you often did, as though if you rushed things, you’d open your eyes to see that everything was just a dream. rafe brought you closer than possible, a hand resting the other on the small of your back and on your hip, rubbing slow circles on the exposed skin.

pulling away slowly, you whispered a hoarse, “i love you, rafe cameron,”

he smiled softly, swaying slowly to the distant music. an aura of love and sovereignty enveloping the both of you in a bubble of your own. none of you cared about the rivalry anymore, or his father, or what other people would say. let them talk.

it wouldn’t bother you, because you had each other, and that’s what matters the most.

add yourself to my taglist!

general taglist: @tatesimper @bluvclouds @i-love-scott-mccall

obx taglist: @maybanksslut @spideyspixies @oldschoolkiddo @iwritesiriusly @iamninaannaisreading @nyxie75 @mendesyourmine

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron imagine #drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #obx #outer banks #obx 2 #outer banks 2 #rafe cameron oneshot #rafe cameron blurb #useramourtentiaa #tuserliane

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holy-guacamoly · 3 years

Text

Dating-Headcanons with the AOT Boys

AOT BOYS x Fem!Readers on their first date. Starring Eren, Jean, Connie and Levi. (Manbun)-Eren: Eren wouldn't exactly ask you out. He would more or less order you to go on a date with him. "Are you free tonight?" "Uhm...actually no..." "Great, I pick you up at eight." When he picks you up, your loverboy will scan your form precisely. He will give you a devilish smirk while enjoying the view. "You look cute." Eren simply says. Of course, he won't bring you any present, since he is the present - duh. Eren is a movie-date-kinda-guy. He loves to be this close to you in the dark, hoping to come even closer. He pays for all the overpriced cinema treats. You can choose whatever you want, even if he won't have any. Since we are talking about Manbun-Eren, the two of you will start your smooching session 10 minutes into the movie. No one can resist this bad boy. And after another 20 minutes, you lovebirds will sneak out of the cinema, to drive right to his place. He lives on his own and you are surprised by his good choice of furniture. He will rail your brains out on the first date, of course only if you want it. But I think this is exactly what you aimed for, 'cuz look at this man. Horse-I-like-to-ride-Jean: Jean-Boy has been planning for months to take you out, but he never had the guts to just ask you. So in the end his tweedle dee and tweedle dum aka Connie and Sasha, just drag him up to you and blurt out "Hey Y/N! Jean wants to ask you something!" Then leave you two alone with a snicker. Jean would definitely be an old-school sweetheart. He picks you up at seven, with a small bunch of flowers he actually picked for you. After enjoying a nice meal in a restaurant you suggested, he takes you star-gazing, 'cause he heard the ladies like stuff like that. While you enjoy the beautiful view, sitting on the top of a quiet hill, you feel his eyes resting on your body. But whenever you turn around to meet his face, he stares into the sky as if nothing happened. Only the blush on his cheeks gives away his sneaky lurking from a second before. During your date, nothing much happens. Just a little bit of holding hands here and there. He will bring you home safely, never allowing you to go home on your own, even if you repeatedly tell him that he doesn't need to escort you (You like it a lot though.) When you are ready to say your good-byes, standing at your front door, the tension between the two of you grows unbearable. How haven't you noticed this electrifying energy? Jean leans closer to you, without even noticing. It's like a huge force is pulling him in. Cicadas fill the heavy night with soothing sounds. After an eternity of just pinning each other with your intense gazes, he whispers quietly "Can I kiss you?" You nod, eyes wide open. Your first kiss will be clumsy at first but in no time your mouths dance in unison. Lips crash again and again until the kiss becomes heated. I feel like Jean wouldn't have sex with you on the first date, even though it is the only thing in the world he desires right now. He just wants to do it right and take things slow. Cutie-Connie: I am not a Connie-Simp but I would kill to go on a date with this man. He will come up with the funniest date ideas for sure. He seems like the guy who would never exactly ask you on a date, more like to "hang out" and you gladly accept. Connie tells you to meet him at a certain address, not telling you what exactly this location is. An excited smirk just crosses his lips while he talks about everything he has planned for you. When you arrive you are beyond confused. Your eyes wander across the huge building in front of you. On a colorful sign, you read the words "Go-Kart Fun". Of course, Connie wouldn't just hang out with you at a cafe, like a normal person. He is beyond thrilled when he tells you about how much fun go-kart races are. Quickly the both you change into racing suits and a helmet are on the tracks. If you want a lover that would let you win, just to make you happy, Springer is the wrong choice. He beats you in every round

and rubs his victory in your face. You begin to wonder if this is even is a date. After your brute defeat, Connie will take you out for some burgers and fries. He is amazed by how you can shove a huge-ass burger inside your mouth, without effort. As you are covered in sauce this man falls more and more in love with you. Even your little burps are cute. At this point, you already forgot that you got your hopes up that this would be a romantic encounter. But when you are about to say your adieus, he suddenly pulls you into a hug, his face nuzzling into your neck. "I had an amazing time with you, Y/N." he just whispers. Your gaze softens as you soak up those words. You pull away just to give him a small peck on the cheeks. "Thank you for spending the day with me," you say. Fuck-Me-Daddy-Levi: First of all, you have to ask Levi out, since Isayama confirmed he is a stuttering mess around his love interest. He will just nod at your request and panic right after you leave. When he gathered his thoughts he will make a list of where you guys should spend the night etc. Later he will force Hange to squeeze out every drop of juicy information about your perception of a perfect date. Since no restaurant on this whole planet is good enough for his queen, he will just cook for you. Propping up a nice table on his balcony, with nice candles, delicate porcelain, and flowers. This man will throw his nerves overboard when the doorbell finally rings. And lemme tell you - Levi will lose his fucking mind when he sees you. You are just so beautiful. Sorry to tell you this, but he will be a stuttering mess again. That's why he pours you both a glass of your favorite wine (You told Hange about your favorite type of wine), mostly to calm his nerves. Your dinner will be filled with a lot of interesting conversations, sharing your deep thoughts. You even manage to make Levi laugh (a little). There is no physical touch at all, but he sure does long for it. With the night moving further and the temperatures dropping, your lover boy suggests moving to the living room and he brews you a cup of his infamous tea. You lovebirds get cozy on his sofa, enjoying the hot drink and deepening your conversation through the night. After hours of endless talks, you grew way too tired to escape the sandman's grip and just fell asleep on his lap. Levi feels uncomfortable at first because physical touch is still a rarity to him. But after a while he slowly begins to caress your hair, pulling a blanket over you and whispering sweet praises to you. "I know you can't hear me, but I think I am falling in love with you."

#aot #attack on titan #levi ackerman #eren jäger #eren yaegar #jean kirschtein #jean kirstein #connie springer #shingeki no kyojin #headcanon

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hxwks-gf · 3 years

Text

— pretty boy

summary: you’re best friends with the new up-and-coming hero, toshinori yagi. pet names are a force of habit for you, and toshinori happens to be “pretty boy”. despite the nickname, he shows you how serious he is about becoming a hero

pairing: young all-might/toshinori yagi x reader

w/c: 1.9k

warnings: creepy dude grabs the reader against their will, but that’s about it

requested by: @lady-latte (ty for sending this in love!! i need some more toshinori in my life)

“Hey there, Pretty Boy!”

The nickname came as smoothly as silk does, falling from your lips and out into the warm summer air like honey dripping from its comb. It was a nickname that had always felt natural, despite its embarrassing nature. If it ever bothered Toshinori Yagi, he never showed it.

He grinned as you strolled up to him. His blonde hair was sticking out in its usual unruly manner, with the two pieces of bangs that never seemed to lay flat arched over his sweaty forehead. Magnificent blue eyes pierced through your own in the twilight of dusk, cutting straight through the dim glow from the street lamp nearby.

“What are you doing out here this time of night?” he asked, stretching his bare arms above his head, the muscles bulging in his biceps.

“Wanted to see what you were up to,” you replied with a matching grin, and you leaned against the fence. “Working out again?”

“Yeah,” he said, leaning down and picking up a barbell that lay at his feet. He lifted it with ease and began rhythmically curling it into his chest. “School starts again in a few weeks, and I want to make sure I’m absolutely ready for it. Since my Quirk finally activated, I’ve got a lot of training to make up for.”

You pursed your lips and looked down at the concrete. A dandelion weed was pushing through a crack in the sidewalk, stretching itself and its little yellow petals up towards the darkening sky. You glanced back up to Toshinori and smiled again. “I know you’ll be amazing,” you encouraged, your eyes following the barbell in his hands: up and down and up and down. “I heard you got a new mentor.”

“I did,” he said, straining against the weight. A drop of sweat slid down his face as he set the barbell down. “She told me to keep it on the low for a bit, so--sworn to secrecy.” He made a show of locking his lips with an invisible key before tossing it out of sight.

You laughed. “I wasn’t going to ask anyways, dummy. I’m sure you’ll tell me who this amazing new teacher is when the time is right.” After a few seconds, you bit your lip with uncertainty and studied him before asking, “Right?”

Toshinori wiped his brow again and looked at you. “Of course I’d tell you. You’re my best friend.”

“Don’t you forget it,” you chuckled, playfully punching his shoulder. Man, he really put on some muscle over the summer, you noticed, rubbing your knuckles as you pulled your arm back. As he stretched his arms up over his head again, you tilted your head to the side. And a good couple inches. “How...how tall are you, now?” you tentatively asked.

Toshinori relaxed and glanced down at himself. “Dunno,” he said with a shrug. “Haven’t measured myself lately.”

“You really grew over the summer,” you half-heartedly joked, crossing your arms. “Are you...okay?”

His disposition shifted at the question, and for a moment you saw how tired he really was--but the moment passed, and he was back to being Mr. Walking Sunshine. Toshinori flashed you a toothy grin and gave a thumbs-up, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? All of my dreams are coming true!”

“Alright, alright,” you conceded. “Just checkin’, Pretty Boy. We wouldn’t want anything happening to the world’s next #1 hero, would we?”

“You really think I can do it?” he quietly asked, bending down to pack up his weights. His face was hidden from you, but you could hear the doubt in his voice.

You reached out and placed a hand on his warm shoulder, feeling the muscles flexing beneath your fingertips. “I know you can do it, Toshi.”

He stood up tall and grinned down at you. “Heh. Thanks, y/n. I know I can always count on you to believe in me.”

“Race you to the end of the block?”

“You know you’ll never be able to beat me.”

“Hey, you’ve got a literal weight to hold you back,” you laughed, already jogging towards the street. “C’mon, that new movie is playing at the theater--loser has to buy the popcorn.”

“I don’t know why you insist on doing this to yourself, y/n!” Toshinori called out from behind you as you started running. He seemed pretty far back, and you used this as motivation to run faster and harder down the city street towards the movie theater. The summer air sung with cicadas as the early stars came out to twinkle in the sky above you. But just as you were getting into a good rhythm, you heard his thundering footsteps on the sidewalk behind you.

“I’ll take my popcorn with extra butter!” he shouted at you as he sprinted by, his blonde hair flying in the wind.

“One day I’ll figure out how you’re cheating!” you shouted back, your lungs already gasping for precious air.

Toshinori’s face was adorned with a triumphant smile as he flew down the length of the street, his duffle bag full of weights strapped to his back. “--and some yakitori to go with it!” he called over his shoulder at you before disappearing around the corner.

You slowed down to a jog, and then to a walk, and you breathed heavily to regain your composure. No matter how many times you challenged him, or how many times he insisted on giving you a headstart--he always beat you. Always.

“You’re going to be the greatest,” you murmured under your breath, deciding to walk the rest of the way to the theater. He usually came back to make sure you were okay, even after beating you. It was almost unfair.

But before you could make it to the next block, an uneasy feeling crept over your skin, and all of the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. Suddenly, the quiet street seemed dark and menacing--nothing like it had been only a few minutes ago. The shadowy corners of the alleys shifted and moved out of the corners of your eyes. It felt like you were being watched.

Your feet began to move quicker down the sidewalk, and you tried to keep yourself within the glow of the street lamps as much as you could. Just a few more feet and you would turn the corner and see Toshinori standing there with that smile on his face, and you’d be safe--

“Where ya goin’ this time of night?” a gravelly voice chuckled from behind you, and you felt calloused hands roughly grip your arm. “Pretty thing like you should know better than to be walking around this part of town all alone.”

You froze in fear, your wide, unblinking eyes staring at the end of the block--waiting for Toshi to appear. Any moment now, and he would come charging to your rescue.

“Hey,” the villain growled, his grip on your arm tightening. “I asked you a question.”

“Let go of me,” you managed to whisper, still staring at the street corner. “Please.”

“Yeah? Heh, or what? What are you going to do?”

You winced in pain as his nails dug into the skin of your arm. “Please,” you said again through gritted teeth. “Let go of me.”

“I don’t think I will,” the villain chuckled, and began pulling you towards a dark alley. “I want all of your money, and maybe I’ll reconsider.”

You knew if you used your Quirk in a public setting, you’d get reprimanded by the school and have to face consequences--but you were never taught what the punishment was, if there was any punishment at all, for using your Quirk in self-defense. You didn’t want to lose your shot at a hero’s license--but then again, you also didn’t want to lose your life.

Just as you were about to activate your Quirk while he dragged you into the alley, you saw Toshinori appear from around the corner. He looked confused, like he wasn’t sure what was taking you so long, or where you even were. But when his eyes landed on you in the grasp of a villain, that confusion was replaced by pure rage, and he charged towards you with a wild snarl on his face.

“Let go of her!” he bellowed, and for a moment you were taken aback by the sheer anger that exploded out of him. You had never seen him this way before.

“Hey, hey, take it easy!” the villain stuttered, immediately releasing you and taking a few stumbling steps backward. Toshinori surged past you and grabbed him by the collar, and shoved him up against the building wall.

“You think you can just weasel your way around here and get away with grabbing people?” Toshinori snarled in the villain’s face. He looked at you over his shoulder. “Did he hurt you? Did he do anything to you?”

You quickly shook your head. “No, no--he just grabbed my arm. I’m f-fine, Toshi.” The wavering pitch in your voice gave yourself away.

He narrowed his eyes at you and he turned back to the villain, who was struggling against the iron grip at his throat.

“If I ever see you bothering anyone in this city again,” Toshi spoke to him, his voice dangerously calm, “I won’t be this nice.” With that, he released the man and looked down at him with disgust. “Now get lost.”

The man wasted no more time scrambling to his feet and taking off in the other direction. Toshinori immediately went to your side and took your face in his large hands.

“When you didn’t show up, I got worried,” he said, searching your eyes. That anger and rage was gone; it had now been replaced with concern and fear. “You promise he didn’t hurt you?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and shook your head. “He just grabbed my arm and asked for money, that’s all.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion as he pulled you into his chest for a hug. “I shouldn’t have left you like that, I’m so stupid. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you said, your voice muffled by his shirt. “I’m okay. You saved me, Pretty Boy.”

He pulled away and looked down at you, his blue eyes filled to the brim with unshed tears. With a shaky breath, he put on a reassuring smile and tenderly touched your cheek. “I’ll always be there to save you, alright? I promise.”

“You’re going to be a great hero,” you whispered, returning the smile.

He pulled you in for another hug, his eyes glancing down at the bruises forming on your arm from where the man had grabbed you, a reminder that he wasn’t there for you, and he couldn’t protect you. Toshinori Yagi knew, in that moment, that you would never be harmed by anyone else ever again.

“I like that name, by the way,” Toshi said as the two of you started walking together towards the movie theater. He kept you tucked under a protective arm as he gave you a sideways glance. “You think I’m pretty?”

You rolled your eyes and smacked him. “You know you’re pretty.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, but I like hearing it from you.”

“Alright, fine, you’re pretty.”

“That’s my girl.”

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chasingpj · 3 years

Text

𝐀 𝐒𝐞𝐭-𝐔𝐩

"We should go pick the strawberries over there. Percy and Y/n can work on the ones here."

pairing: percy jackson x child of hecate!reader

words: 3,887

warnings: none?? pls let me know if i missed anything

timeline: post sea of monsters

if you want to be tagged every time I update this story click here

a/n: hi hi! I was supposed to post this yesterday, but oops. I don't have much to say. again, it's a little bit of a slow start just because I want to introduce characters and establish relationship dynamics before getting into the good stuff. anyways, i hope you like it! i love hearing feedback so don't hesitate to reach out to me!

Part One Part Two Part Three

When you were stressed or needed to be alone with your thoughts, you often found yourself in the strawberry fields, either helping collect the harvest or simply sitting on the grass patches nearby. You usually preferred being in the fields alone, peacefully listening to the chirping of the birds and cicadas while inhaling the scent of sun-baked strawberries. However, there were times where you did stumble upon the company of the girls from the Demeter and Aphrodite cabin. You didn't mind hanging out with them, always amused at their banter and choice of conversation. They were always bubbly, taking advantage of the leisure activity to gossip and have girl talk, and it was nice, even if you were just listening.

Today was one of those days where you weren’t alone in the fields. Standing alongside Silena, Katie, and your half-sister, Lou Ellen, you find yourself zoning in and out of their conversation. Their chattering and giggling serve as background noise as you focus on cutting the strawberries from their stems to carefully place them in your basket.

"Who do you think are the cutest boys at camp?" You hear Silena ask when you decide to tune back into their conversation. A silence falls amongst the group; Katie and Lou Ellen were suddenly hesitant to speak. You look up, waiting for one of them to break the silence because it definitely wasn’t going to be you.

"I know what you're doing! You're trying to find out our crushes," Katie points her finger at Silena accusingly. Lou Ellen nods,

“Yeah, we know your tricks, Silena! You’re gonna try and set us up with people.”

"What? No!" Silena denies, but the smirk on her face said otherwise. "I'm just asking in general! You can find someone cute and not have a crush on them,” she points out. The three of you weren’t convinced at Silena’s claims, and the silence returns. You turn back to what you were doing, not really wanting to trap yourself in this conversation, and you decide to leave the pressure of confession to Katie and Lou Ellen.

"Okay.” Katie turns her body to face you. You hesitantly meet her gaze, already knowing what she's going to confess. "... this might be weird, but I think your brother is really cute," she admits, giggling nervously as she looks at both you and Lou Ellen. You scrunch your nose, shaking your head while Lou Ellen joins your reaction as she gags theatrically. The confession didn't surprise you, but it still felt weird to hear it.

"He's ugly!" You exclaim. Silena laughs, her head thrown back as Katie gasps at your insult about Atticus. Even though this wasn't the first time you've heard this from girls at camp, you still found it strange. Even your mortal friends have told you that they think your brother is adorable. You’ll never admit it out loud to anyone, but you were aware that your brother definitely wasn't ugly. Obviously, he wasn't if almost all of your friends had to mention his appearance at least once. Not only was Atticus conventionally attractive, but he was also a natural flirt, so he got attention from girls fairly easily. So much so that before your mother claimed you, Connor and Travis Stoll swore you guys were going to be claimed by Aphrodite.

You've only seen him flirt a handful of times, usually with the wood nymphs and playfully with the girls from the Aphrodite cabin. It was strange seeing girls flirt with him and giggle at all his stupid jokes because that “smooth” Atticus they meet is so different from the Atticus you saw. The Atticus you got to see was a clumsy dork that obsessed over Harry Potter and had a habit of bursting into song whenever he was bored, most often singing his own rendition of a song from a broadway musical or of a rock song from the 90s.

"No, he isn't! His facial structure is amazing!” Katie gushes. “And he's tall and has broad shoulders. He's also really funny!" You and Lou Ellen stare at her with a straight face before simultaneously bursting into laughter.

“He’s a dork!” Lou Ellen chokes through her laughs, and you nod, agreeing with her.

"Hey! I get where Katie is coming from! As his sisters, you guys are biased. Of course, you’re gonna say he's ugly," Silena points out, and you sigh,

“Live with him in the Hermes Cabin for a couple of weeks, and when you see him in his natural state, you won’t find him cute anymore,” you joke. Katie shakes her head,

“I don’t believe you. I bet he’s even cuter! You’re calling him a dork, but jokes on you, I like dorks,” she says playfully, crossing her arms over her chest, and you smile at her.

“To each their own, I guess.”

"What about you? Who do you think is cute?" Silena asks you. You side-eye the other, and you feel your face heat up. You really didn’t want to be the target in this conversation. Turning back to the bushes, you answer her question with a shrug of your shoulders. Silena scoffs, "there has to be someone! We have a good group of guys to choose from at camp."

"I mean, yeah…" you trail off hesitantly, and you feel the stares of the girls as they wait for your answer. You knew they weren't going to let this go, and so, you sigh softly, taking a moment to find the courage to confess. "I guess Percy is cute-"

"Y/n!"

Your breath hitches in your throat, and your shoulder tenses up at the sound of the familiar voice. It was too much of a coincidence that Percy showed up the exact moment you were speaking about him. The girls laugh at your reaction and your cheeks somehow become hotter as Silena smiles at you knowingly. If she didn't sense your crush before, she definitely sensed it now. Snapping your gaze away from her, you find the courage to turn around.

"Hey, Percy," you say, smiling sheepishly. You fiddle with your fingers as you take in his appearance. Percy was wearing his orange camp half-blood shirt and cargo pants. His cheeks were a little flushed at the summer heat, and you assume he probably came from training. As usual, his dark hair was slightly disheveled, and you couldn’t help your lips curling into a soft smile.

"Hey, I've been looking for you. You left these on the dock," he says, presenting the black pouch filled with your crystals in his hand. You gasp softly as you take it from him.

"Oh! Thank you. I can’t believe I forgot them," You shake your head at yourself as you put them in your strawberry basket in the meantime. You didn’t understand how your forgotten crystals never came to your mind once, especially this late in the day.

"No problem. I think they’re all in there," he smiles at you before acknowledging the girls standing behind you. "Hey, guys.”

He furrowed his eyebrows as they giggle amongst themselves. They murmur a few things to each other before turning their gaze to him again.

"Percy, I wanted to ask who do you think is the prettiest girl at camp?" Silena asks as the girls move to surround him. You're stomach flutters crazily with nerves, and you cringe, feeling embarrassed even though Percy was oblivious to the motive behind the question.

Percy looks around him, shifting his weight from one foot to another,

"This… feels like a trap,” he says slowly, making the girls giggle.

"It's not! We just want to know. Anyone, in particular, stands out to you?" Silena steps closer to him.

"Any crushes?" Katie asks.

"There has to be someone, right?" Lou Ellen smiles.

"Um… I- why are you guys asking so many questions?" He mutters, his shoulders tense up as he avoids the stares of the three girls practically towering over him.

"Guys, leave him alone," you laugh shortly. "You don't have to answer all that," you reassure him, cutting through their little circle as you squeeze between Silena and Katie.

You stand beside Percy, the girls deciding to step down and return to their original places. Silena smiles, and you can't tell what she's thinking, but you knew that the smile playing on her lips made you nervous. You awkwardly exchange a look with Percy, noticing that he was just as flustered as you were.

"You know… I noticed that those bushes over there get a lot of sun," Silena says, breaking her silence as she turns to Katie and Lou Ellen. She points at the bushes about three rows from where you were all standing, and Katie nods,

"We should go pick the strawberries over there. Percy and Y/n can work on the ones here." Silena gives you a smirk, winking at you before turning around and taking the other girls with her.

You resume your strawberry picking, chewing on your button lip. You were hoping that he didn't witness Silena wink at you because if he did, it was then way too obvious that the girls spontaneously set up this. There's a silence for a moment, and you feel your palms start to sweat as you try to figure out what you were going to say to him.

"Where's Ambrose?" Percy asks softly, and you glance over for a second, watching as he picks the strawberries beside you.

"Oh, uh, he ran off a little while ago with my brothers. They're probably playing somewhere." You smile, remembering how Ambrose wasted no time, running over to Alabaster and Ernest the moment they had offered to play with him.

"... how do you play with a ghost dog?" Percy gleams, amused at the idea of playing with Ambrose considering he couldn’t touch many things.

"There's a process where you can offer things to his spirit, so he has a few toys that he can play with," you explain. “He and I play with his toys all the time, but he’s with my brother’s right now, so they're probably wrestling."

"What? Really? I wouldn’t want to wrestle Ambrose,” Percy admits as a short laugh comes from his mouth.

"Yeah, me neither. He would definitely win if we did. Once he was so excited to see me; he jumped on me and knocked me down no problem,” you shake your head. “I think he forgets how big he is, and he ends up getting carried away sometimes.”

You look up from what you were doing, unexpectedly meeting Percy’s green eyes that resemble the color of the Caribbean sea as the sun shines into them. The butterflies in your stomach return, and you’re trying not to focus on the fact that the other was already looking at you. You look elsewhere, suddenly too shy to look at him, but your eyes couldn’t help but flicker back to his face. From this close, you noticed things about him that you didn’t see before, like the scattered freckles on his face, his long eyelashes, and his slightly chapped lips.

“I-” he stops himself suddenly, and your eyebrows furrow. The tension between you both was something you've never felt before. You didn't understand why Percy looked dazed, staring at you as if he found you to be the most captivating person in the world.

You open your mouth, but before you could speak, you see something moving at the end of the bush row. Breaking your gaze with Percy, you notice Silena's focusing intensely on you and him. It suddenly dawns on you that the strange tension was because she was working that love magic that all the Aphrodite children can do. She smirks when she sees that you’ve noticed her, and you swore you saw her mouth a “you’re welcome.” The tension suddenly falls as she hides behind the bushes right as Percy turns around to find out what you were looking at.

You giggle nervously, “um, yeah. Anyways... Ambrose can put up a fight,” you say, trying to revert to the original topic because you really didn’t want to discuss what just happened. You give him a second to get himself together, Percy looking a little disoriented after being under Silena's look magic. He blinks a few times before turning abruptly toward the strawberry bushes. A nervous chuckle leaves his lips, and his hand comes up to rub the back of his neck. He shifts on his feet and nods,

“Yeah, I can imagine.” He clears his throat, his voice coming out a little higher than he had intended it to be. You bite your bottom lip, trying to refrain from laughing, and you hum softly in response.

The two of you sat in silence for a bit before your conversation had picked up again. Surprisingly, even after being unknowingly manipulated by Silena’s magic, Percy moved on quickly from the awkward tension. You found it was easy to talk to him, the two of you chatting as if you didn't just meet yesterday. The two of you talked and laughed a lot, sharing funny stories from quests or about your mortal parents.

You’ve never been a closed-off person, and you were able to share things easily with people, so the conversation flew naturally. You guys talked about the weird perks of your powers. One of the weird perks you shared is your ability to see and communicate with ghosts, and you end up freaking him out with the many stories of your paranormal experiences.

You weren't sure how long you were talking to him, but time felt like it flew by, and eventually, your baskets were filled with strawberries as you finished picking the row. The sun was lower in the sky, and you assume that it was almost time for dinner. You figured you should find your siblings, and Ambrose and Percy had mentioned that he had plans to climb the lava wall with a few of his friends. So you guys placed your baskets in the drop-off section where they package the strawberries, exchanging a short “see you later” before parting ways.

☆’.･.･:★:･.･.’☆

The last thing Annabeth was expecting to see today was an out-of-breath Atticus bursting into her cabin, but there he was. She jumps in her seat at the sudden bang, the sound cutting through the silence. Her gaze snaps from her book to the door, concerned for a second as Atticus looks panicked. He lets himself in, scoping out the room in search of something.

"What are you-?"

"Have you seen Harvey?" Atticus asks, frantically looking for his familiar. Harvey is a black-footed ferret that was given to him by his mother. When you guys found out that Ambrose was for you, Atticus was pretty bummed. He was jealous that your mother had given you such a cool gift, and you had assumed that she had seen how upset he was because a few days after Hecate officially claimed you, Atticus received Harvey as a present. The morning he met Harvey for the first time, Atticus was thrilled to wake up with the ferret casually sitting on his chest.

"I'm sorry, Harvey? I don't know a Harvey?" Annabeth turns in her chair to face him, her arms crossed over her chest.

"My ferret, have you seen him?" Atticus drops to his knees, looking under the beds and the nightstands. He just saw him jump into the back window of the Athena Cabin, so he was sure that Harvey was hiding somewhere.

"Um, no?" Annabeth rolls her eyes, finding it rude that he has barged in as if he lived there. Suddenly, a small animal jumps from the top of the bookcase beside her and right on her desk. Annabeth yelps, getting up from her seat quick as Harvey snorts, and he clumsily runs across her papers before prancing across all the desks that were lined against the wall.

"Harvey, what are you doing?!" Atticus exclaims as he moves to stand up. He attempts to meet Harvey at the last desk, but Harvey jumps out of his reach just as he closes his fist to grab him. Harvey zooms across the room, forcing him to play a one-sided game of tag that Atticus was definitely losing. He occasionally slips and stumbles, the snorts that leave his snout starting to sound like mocking laughter.

"What's wrong with your rat?" Annabeth jokes as her eyes follow Harvey around the room.

"He's a ferret," Atticus corrects her, mumbling under his breath. He sighs as he tries to catch up with the animal, failing miserably as not only was he crazy fast, he was able to find the smallest corners to hide in.

"Similar family," she shrugs, smirking at him. "And you didn't answer my question."

Atticus sighs, getting on the floor to try and grab Harvey, who’s tucked in the corner under one of the beds. He squints at the small animal, not sure why he’s acting this way when Harvey was curled up on his desk, peacefully taking a nap about 20 minutes ago.

"He does this sometimes. I don't know. He wants to play, and then he causes chaos," Atticus grunts, almost grabbing Harvey, but he runs out of his reach once again. Atticus groans as he sits back on his heels, pinching the bridge of his nose. He decides he might as well take a breather since he's been chasing him for the past 10 minutes, and he considers that he should stop entertaining him since Harvey obviously saw this as some game.

He sighs softly, choosing to forget about Harvey as he looks over at Annabeth. Her gray eyes are fixed on him as she leans against the edge of her desk. Her curly blonde locks are pulled back in a messy low ponytail allowing the front strands to frame her face prettily. Atticus smiles as he admires her, taking in her appearance before she starts telling him off.

"You look pretty like that," Atticus compliments, his heart skipping a beat as their eyes meet. He watches as her expression softens for a second, her eyes wide at the random compliment. Atticus smirks softly, not surprised, as her face suddenly darkens into a scowl. If Annabeth felt anything for him, she was good at hiding it.

When Atticus had first arrived at camp last summer, Annabeth and he spoke here and there. Their conversations were brief but pleasant, and Atticus found himself wanting to talk to her more often. As his crush for her grew, he had taken it upon himself to harmlessly flirt with her, hoping she’d get the hint that he was interested.

"Like what?" She asks, her chin up as she moves to stand up straight on her feet.

"With your hair in a ponytail like that. It's cute.”

"Hmm. Thanks for letting me know, so I'll never do it like this again,” she says in such a serious tone that made Atticus laugh. There it is. Annabeth was always quick to shut him down, and she never failed to make witty comebacks. He was pretty certain that it was just banter, but it made it hard to tell if she was maybe into him. But he never failed to notice how occasionally, she’d momentarily be lost for words or have a flustered look on her face before it hardened as it did a moment ago.

"You'd be pretty regardless, Chase.” He feels his knees start to ache, and he sighs as he gets back up on his feet.

"Don't call me that," Annabeth says abruptly.

"What? Chase? What do you prefer? Annie? Beth? Anna?" He teases.

"I prefer Annabeth, thank you." She gives him a tight, sarcastic smile, and a short laugh comes from Atticus’s mouth.

"That's not fun, though…" His hand comes under his chin as he studies her. He ponders for a second, trying to come up with a name that he can personally call her. Annabeth shifts, avoiding his gaze as she looks elsewhere. She was weirded out that the other was looking at her for so long, and she tried not to show how flustered she actually was. She grunts,

"What?! What are you look-"

"Goldilocks," Atticus blurts out, his finger pointing into the air as his face brightens, thinking he’s an absolute genius for coming up with that name. Annabeth shakes her head,

"Don't call me th-"

"It's been decided. I will call you goldilocks. No one else can call you that," Atticus cuts her off, the same proud smile plastered on his face even though Annabeth’s eyes narrow dangerously at him. Atticus takes a step back hesitantly. At first glance, she didn’t come off as intimidating, but Atticus knew better. He was always sure not to push her too far because he was completely aware of her ability to kill him.

Atticus suddenly remembers Harvey, noticing how the sound of his little feet pattering along the wooden floor ceased a while ago. He scans the room finding Harvey standing on his hind legs a couple of feet away, calmly watching them. Atticus still couldn’t understand why he had acted so strangely. Familiars couldn’t talk, obviously because they’re animals but their actions are never out of vain. They’re usually trying to tell you something if they’re acting strange, and it takes a while to put the pieces together since there is only so much they can do. After thinking for a second, it dawns on Atticus that Harvey purposely made him come to the Athena Cabin so that he can talk to Annabeth. He smiles to himself, walking toward Harvey. He didn’t run away this time, allowing Atticus to put him on his shoulder.

"He just stopped,” Annabeth points out, her head tilting to the side.

"Probably got tired?" Atticus makes an excuse for him, not wanting to admit that Harvey had decided to be his wingman today. "Sorry for barging in, by the way," he apologizes. “I saw him jump in from the window, and I was worried he’d break something.”

"Whatever. Don’t do it again.”

"Got it. Well, I'll see you around, Goldilocks. Happy studying.” Atticus turns on his heels, hearing a scoff coming from Annabeth as he walks out of the cabin.

"When did I ask you to be my wingman?" Atticus asks Harvey as he walks off the steps of the Athena Cabin. He reaches up, his index finger petting the top of his head. "You're crazy, bud... But she is cute, isn't she?" Atticus laughs, Harvey snorting as if he agrees with him.

masterlist

#my writing #pjo #percy jackson x reader #percy x reader #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson fic #percy jackson fanfiction #percy jackson oneshot #pjo x reader #pjo reader insert

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