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usedpidemo · 5 months

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Plaid (Newjeans Hanni)

Hanni Pham is just about the perfect student: consistently top of the class, perennial dean’s lister, well liked among her teachers and peers, an active participant for every co-curricular and extracurricular activity, and overall just a good person to be around.

And you? You’re the exact opposite. Slow, lazy, constantly in self-isolation—always cutting classes whenever you can, struggling with just about everything. You’re surprised you’re still even attending this university as is, despite the countless talks with your professors.

Which is why when she greets you a good morning as soon as you run into each other in the hallway, the books you’ve been carrying crumble like Jenga blocks.

She immediately jumps into action, picking up your dropped books in record fashion to hand them back to you. The cute, irresistible smile etched on her lips is icing on the cake.

“Here you go!”

Admittedly, you feel some type of way about Hanni. It’s conflicting, constantly changing. A little bit of jealousy because she’s the student you wished you were, but also a bit of allure because of how surprisingly attractive she is. You’ve never felt any kind of attraction towards anyone in college besides her. And she turns out to be an exchange student, and you’ve never seen anyone with the combination of cuteness and beauty before she came along.

You take a moment to look into her eyes. Those gentle, warm irises perfectly capture the kindness emanating from her—God, why is she so damn irresistible. It isn’t that you’ve been giving her the cold shoulder, but you’re merely apathetic and neutral with her. Outside of the same brief rote exchanges—good morning, what’s your lunch, what are you doing after class later—you and Hanni have been, for the most part, worlds apart.

The universe is doing its part to bring you two together, because you can feel it. Tension so thin, you can cut it with a knife.

She never lets up.

She wants to know you.

“I-uh, thanks,” you say, suddenly averting her gaze to your locker instead as you snatch your books back, then in the other direction. Anywhere but her eyes.

Fuck. She keeps staring, leaning her head forward with a lively smile, her hands behind her back, waiting for you to continue. She talks with childlike passion and energy, “We have an exam in accounting later, did you study for it?”

“N-no,” you say, almost stuttering through the simplest of responses, as though your tongue is wrapped up in itself. It should be embarrassing for you to act this awkwardly in front of a sweet girl like Hanni. Mentally punching yourself to be better. It never happens. “Not exactly, I kinda forgot.”

More like you willingly neglected your studies for a nightlong gaming session. It’s an addiction.

Her eyes widen with amusement, as if she sees through the lie. Does she? You don’t know. Maybe she does. There’s so many layers to her that you never bothered to uncover. That’s the price for your negligence and decision to be a lone-wolf.

Hanni reaches her hand into the pocket of her dress shirt and presents a folded up sheet of paper. “Then this with you. Just make sure to hide it underneath the test paper, got it?”

From bewilderment to amazement—your face goes through every emotion, unsure of what would perfectly suit the situation. She doesn’t know you well enough to casually entrust you with a cheat sheet, yet she’s perfectly fine handing it to you over her presumed friends, which includes members of the student council.

Initially, you hesitate, but she’s steadfast in her position, as if you receiving this paper is doing her a favor. You ultimately fold and accept it from her. She grins as you tuck the sheet away in your coat.

“See you later!” she says, before walking past you to her next class. You slowly turn around, watch her leave and rejoin with her friends, one of whom is the student council head. Alone with nothing but your thoughts, you put the strange encounter aside and get moving again.

—————

The next time you see Hanni again is during world history class, right before lunch. Your rather senile professor, who doesn’t give a shit that half the class is either fast asleep, on the verge of, or doing everything else apart from listening to his monotonous lecture, drones on about Napoleon’s European conquest for the second week in a row. Even the patient student that you are, you’ve grown tiresome of it, especially with the dreadful pacing. You’re way behind schedule. At the very least, he seems to be paid well, so there’s a little silver lining.

Looking at her, you wonder if the gods were in a good mood on the day they made her. She’s as enthusiastic about the topic as if it's her first time hearing it. Listening to every single word intently, taking down notes furiously, taking pictures of the presentation even though she has it projected on her laptop because why the fuck not—she was born to be the teacher’s pet. Compare that to half of the class: even the supposed top student in the class is barely struggling to stay awake, clinging to the edges of her seat out of fear she could collapse from sheer boredom. It’s a miracle, really, that there’s at least one student showing this much interest.

The notion creeps up in your mind: Hanni’s right over there, without a care except for the lecture at hand. Your phone rests on the edge of your chair. Her smile, her shine—you want to keep more than just a mental image of her. Something to actively remind you that someone like her exists. It’s creepy, but it doesn’t matter when no one’s looking, especially not her. Only you.

Little by little your hand crawls toward the phone. Then the moral compass inside you resists. You don’t know this girl—not in the slightest. Just because of a simple kind act doesn’t mean you’re completely smitten over her. Most importantly, you remember one important point about Hanni: she’s not from here. She’s an exchange student with a one year contract set to expire in—wait for it—two weeks. The semester ends before then, and it’s reasonable to assume she’ll be gone from your life just as quickly as she entered it once the page turns.

Right as the inner conflict inside your head reaches a fever pitch, the bell rings. On one side, you’re celebrating this moral victory; on the other, you’re punching a mental wall for not pulling the trigger. Before the professor even realizes the alarm already sounded off, all the students have filed out of the room in quick succession.

You briefly consider searching for Hanni in the sea of students making their way around the halls, but seeing that she’s disappeared into the crowd, you decide to let her go. Perhaps the logical side of your brain might be telling you the truth: that she will be a mere afterthought to you after today.

But then there’s the unshakeable, unceasing part of you that refuses to give in. Even as you eat lunch at the corner of the cafeteria, you’re still trying to single out Hanni to no avail. A hopeless situation gradually growing worse with each passing hour.

A not so subtle tap on your shoulder. Look to your side and there’s your angel, appearing at your hour of need. Hanni.

“Hey! Still have the cheat sheet I gave you earlier?” she asks. A few meters behind her is the student council president, Minji, and her secretary, Danielle, engaged in their own conversation, presumably accompanying their friend.

You scramble to find the folded piece of paper somewhere in your bag, forgetting that you’ve tucked the sheet away deep in your coat. Panicked, you jump from your seat to search within your clothes, still unable to detect its tiny presence hiding in your jacket. “Shit—”

“I can give you another copy if you lost it—”

“I’m sure it’s in here somewhere!” you interject, tonally desperate, repeatedly swiping your fingers on the same pockets with no success.

Eventually, you frisk the deepest pockets of your coat, feeling something rough on the edge of your fingertips. Reeling it out, you present a folded piece of paper in front of her. It should be a small win, but it’s an embarrassing loss, especially right in front of Hanni.

“Good to know you still have it!” she says, grinning from ear to ear. You’re certain she was trying to suppress her chuckle the entire time, and based on her toothy smile, it’s not very difficult to jump to that conclusion. “Even if you didn’t lose it, I still would have given you another copy if you wanted it.”

“Hanni.” You turn to face her, a complete juxtaposition from her jolly, outgoing personality. Your expression looks stern in searching for answers. “Why are you like this? We barely know each other.”

Surprised by your sudden change in attitude, she takes a step back, pausing to contemplate her answer. Her usually bright demeanor gradually changes to reflect yours. Her smile remains, except it's hiding a little gloom, a little concern. “I just wanted to be kind to you. I saw you were struggling in some of the classes we shared and thought you needed some help. It’s only right to do the right thing, you know?”

In that moment, you regret showing a bit of attitude. Hand to your chest, as guilt occupies your heart and mind. “Oh.” You pause, stare back into those wanting eyes. “I-I guess you were really being kind to me, huh?”

“I don’t make fake answer sheets, let alone give them to people I dislike.” She leans forward, causing you to stagger back, bumping your thighs against the cafeteria stool. “And I like you.”

Your mouth gradually opens, trying to figure out what to say, how to react. Only air and silent noises come out. You genuinely have no idea how to respond to this sudden revelation. It’s not like you’re a popular name among the student body, let alone the ladies; if anything, you were mostly a ghost, only coming into light when needed—and in most cases, when the professors would ask you questions about the topic at hand.

Blinking rapidly, you needed to do a double take. “Say that again?”

“I like you.” She repeats it for you. Twice. With increasing emphasis on those three words to drive the statement home. “I. Like. You.”

Let that sink in. You still don’t know what to say. “I—”

“We can talk about this later in the afternoon. Meet me at Room 204, okay? I’m in a rush and I just wanted to briefly check on you.” You watch her tone revert back to its beaming, bubbly self with each sentence. Before you even have an opportunity to say anything back, she rejoins her friends and walks away again, waving at you while shouting, “Remember what I told you about the cheat sheet!”

—————

Aside from accounting, where you followed Hanni’s advice down to the letter, the rest of the afternoon kept your thoughts mostly preoccupied with Hanni’s departing words. The two classes you shared with her during that period were opportunities to stare at her, watch her from a distance. Three simple words, and yet there’s layers upon layers to uncover. What did she mean when she said them? You barely interacted for most of the semester, yet she still considers you likable. During those long, painful hours of waiting, your curiosity and anticipation slowly built up.

And then, the bell rings at the top of the seventeenth hour. Time to find out.

While students file out in every direction, celebrating their regained freedom, you make your way through Room 204. Peeking from the outside, you see no one inside, not even Hanni. It looks about the same as when you left it—messy. You’re anxious, hesitant, cautious. There’s a part of you that believes she’s merely playing you in front of her friends, and that she might stand you up as a joke. And you have no reason to believe she genuinely likes you, apart from that one simple act of kindness from earlier.

For the next few minutes, in those crucial moments of waiting, all your thoughts and presumptions begin waging war inside your head. You have one foot on the door, with the other looking to go home. It’s not the first time you’ve been stood up; you can write an entire thesis report going over each terrible experience and the feeling of bitterness and pining that followed. At the very least, should push come to shove, this wouldn’t be the worst of them—not even bottom five.

So you pace back and forth in front of the designated room, look at your phone, followed by your watch. Again and again. Minutes, stretching to hours, into days, into a slow eternity. You’re starting to lose hope.

Which is why when she comes across you in the hallway, you feel like a kid finding love for the first time all over again. You’re not even trying to hide your excitement. The stunned and relieved expression etched on your lips, the growing shade of red across your face, the hitch in your arms as they reach out to her because you couldn’t believe she would follow through on her word—

And when she flashes her toothy smile, her mouth speaking words you end up missing—you just want to take her by the hand and run away with her.

She ends up calling your name. Twice, thrice, a dozen times—you’re not exactly sure, but you can definitely lose yourself to the sight of Hanni’s presence over and over. With a hand held on the door, she’s telling you to join her inside, saying she has something important to share with you. At least that’s the very gist of it.

At her request, you leave your bag on one of the vacant seats; you end up sharing the same chair. The tension is palpable. Hanni paces back and forth in front of the desk, quietly ruminating, hiding her concerned look away from your eyes. A wakeup call for you that this is a serious matter. You have a lot of unanswered questions, but seeing the gravity of the moment, you conclude that it’s better to keep them to yourself a little while longer—at least once all the heavy air has been cleared. You stand there awkwardly, waiting for her to make the first move.

“I just want to say,” she suddenly says, still turned away from you, long streaks of dark hair covering her eyes. What they can’t hide is the frown on her lips. “I’m going to miss this place. All the profs, all the activities, but most importantly, all the people. Including you.”

“Me?” You’re not surprised at that statement; you’ve assumed she wasn’t going to be here for the long haul, considering she’s an exchange student. What does confuse you, is how she specifically singled you out from everyone else. You barely know each other. At best, you only teamed up for two group projects, which she mostly did the carrying for. For you, the bar has been set very, very low. “How come me?”

Hanni finally faces you, using everything in her willpower not to cry. Her usually lively eyes twinkle with tears waiting to be shed, but she refuses. Not even the warmest of her smiles can hide the somber and pained expression she has looking at you. “Most of the boys here are—excuse my language—a bunch of fucking jackasses and perverts.”

Not exactly wrong; if you weren’t part of an athletics club or hanging out at bars after class, you were likely to be one of their victims. You know this because you are numb to their asshole behavior. The girls would usually retreat in a subtle manner once they knew their presence, which wasn’t difficult to pinpoint.

Rolling your eyes, you reply, “You’re right. I hate their guts too—”

“But you’ve been kind to me from the moment I introduced myself, you know?” Hanni begins to walk toward you, rendering you even more frozen in place. “Even our brief good mornings meant quite a lot. It made me feel welcome.”

You didn’t really think much of it, unaware that it would have this profound of an impact in someone else’s life. And why would you—it’s a habit you’ve been taught since when you were seven. For a moment, you’d think she was being very melodramatic, as if she were practicing theater.

“And—” she pauses, takes a deep breath, “Let’s be honest; I know you like me too.”

When she drops those final words, your eyes pop. Wide. Enough to stretch through your forehead and fly up. It leaves you completely paralyzed. A whole truth bomb dropped just like that. She cusps your hands with hers; you freely allow her. Whether it's from utter shock or the desire to hold her like this for so long, you don’t know, but you definitely want to let this moment linger.

“I-I—”

You can feel her hot breath against yours, her face inching closer, your bodies almost entangling into something passionate and warm. There’s nothing stopping you both from finally bridging the gap that’s been separating you for the longest time. Hanni, the charming, popular girl that everyone either wants to be friends with or to be her, seemingly knows you like a book read from left to right. More importantly, she likes you. Tells it straight to your face.

Her arms snake around your neck, leaving you even more suffocated. No longer in her grasp, you find your hands pressed around tiny, fit waist. Her glinting eyes encourage you to let those innermost desires run wild. The suppressed thoughts you’ve been hiding slowly pull you under their influence. You shouldn’t be doing this, yet they’re right there: those sweet, puckery, inviting lips, waiting to be marked, yours and yours alone.

Instead, you end up in a tight embrace. It’s not as romantic as you envisioned. If anything, it’s bittersweet. Deep down, this is her way of saying goodbye, and you’re only realizing what this is really all about. An opportunity to bid farewell on amicable terms. It’s almost cruel that your first substantial interaction outside of school-related activities has to be like this.

You hold on to her tighter. She does the same. You’re unwilling to let go. She doesn’t want to, either.

Resting her head on your shoulder, Hanni whispers in your ear the most calming and soothing tone, “I’m going to miss you.”

You don’t believe you’ve earned the right to say those words back. So the only thing you can do is hold on to her the best you can—for dear life.

Outside, the setting sun is gradually fading away, and so does the natural light it brings. You can stay here, from dusk to dawn, comfortable in this position if she wants to.

She opens her mouth again, and she continues to hum and speak melodies in your ear. “I have one thing I want to do before saying goodbye. Can you help me?”

Without an ounce of hesitation, you nod, saying, “Anything for you.”

Hanni breaks the bear hug then leads you along with her to the desk. With the other hand, she lifts it back to her waist, placing herself in a new and unexpected position: her back arched against the table, with one knee bent beside yours. Her eyes glinting with utter desire, she couldn’t be any more obvious.

Before the realization fully dawns on you, she does the unthinkable.

A simple irresistible kiss, pulling you down by the collar of your coat. Next thing you know, you have Hanni’s back crooked further against the edge of the desk, your lip-lock turning more and more passionate. Nothing overly dramatic and sentimental—only passionate love making.

She wants it. Deep down, you want it too.

“I can’t—” you mutter, drawing your breath, pulling your lips away. But not your hands. It’s in Hanni’s custody now. Your coat halfway down your arms, she sneakily tosses it aside. “Not here.”

Surprised by your sudden change of heart, she leans forward, her fingers now pulling at the hem of your sleeves. “What’s wrong?”

“I mean—look around, Hanni. We’re in a goddamn classroom.”

If only you could throw your arms around in protest to prove a point, but even that wouldn’t save you now.

“This is what I wanted from the start.” Hanni pulls you back in, her eyes hypnotic and irresistible, shining like gold. “You wanted this, too. Don’t play.”

“Hanni—”

She stops you right in your tracks with an impulsive peck on the lips. Curling them through the kiss to form a smile, she murmurs, “Don’t think, just do.”

And you do just that. Kiss her, make out with her as if your life depended on it.

Hanni’s lips taste like they’re meant for you. Sweet like honey. Divine. Heavenly. If it were possible, you’d want to choke on your own breath holding onto them for dear life. Not to mention the hums coming out of her mouth, those subdued mewls that she releases whenever you bite on her bottom lip—you can’t help but sink back in whenever you consider the thought of letting go.

There’s no reason not to; you have this pretty little thing, Hanni Pham, all to yourself. Even your body knows how rare of an opportunity this is. With one hand quietly slipping between her pencil skirt, you navigate your way to the depths of her heat without breaking the kiss. In a flash, she throws her head back, snapping her mouth wide at the new sensation. All that cool, calm expression, gone in an instant.

“Fuck—”

“God, Hanni. You’re so wet.”

She grabs your wrist—that mischievous hand newly buried in her pussy—and urges you further, “Keep doing that. That felt so good.”

And God, does everything about finger fucking her feel incredible. The satisfying squelch of her cunt as your digits press against her warmth, the continuous twisting of her features as she crumbles from the pleasure, leaving her neck exposed for your lips to newly conquer, adding to the overwhelming sensations coursing all over Hanni’s body. Seeing her, this usually larger than life figure, fall under your spell pushes you even further.

Like Hanni, you’re still young; there’s only pleasure and the thrill of moving too fast and reckless. One day you’ll end up regretting this, ruminating over memories that could ultimately end you before you even started, but you’d rather take this memento than leave with nothing at all.

You’re both already past the point of no return. Hanni’s underwear hangs casually between her ankles while they’re wrapped around your waist, her neck filled with bite marks and deep shades of red that no piece of fabric can hide. Her dress shirt is partially unbuttoned, revealing a white camisole desperately seeking to be removed, and if that wasn’t enough, she’s made the crucial decision not to wear a bra today.

Fuck, that bulging ache in your pants is so agitating—both physically and mentally.

“Wait,” you say, suddenly turning around and locking the door quickly, letting her panties fall freely to the floor. It proves to be a little struggle when you unknowingly use your slick-coated hand over your dry one.

“Should have done that first,” she playfully chides, chuckling at you.

Returning to her with your drenched fingers pointed in the direction of her pussy, you respond, “Should have chosen anywhere but the classroom.”

“You’re saying you’d rather do this during our Christmas party?” Hanni lifts an eyebrow, taunting.

“Only if they allowed it.”

“And all those cheat sheets I handed you, all that for nothing?”

“Shut up. Didn’t need them, anyway.”

Hanni can’t help but burst into boisterous laughter. There’s no use locking that door now.

Even with the little time spent together, there’s clearly magic between you, the signs of what should have been a beautiful relationship. If only you both knew that. But now’s not the time to go over what ifs—only what’s next.

She stops you right as you ready yourself, grabbing the top button of your shirt. Using only her expressive eyes for approval, you steadily watch on till they’re completely undone. You’re left with the job of removing your undershirt and helping her toss your clothes aside. On the other hand, you’re in no rush to undress her completely; she’s a perfect mess as is with her unbuttoned uniform, her panties somewhere between your feet, and her taut nipples poking through the fabric.

And Hanni wants it that way. You’ve barely entertained the idea of running your fingers through her skirt when she interrupts your train of thought.

“You haven’t done it yet,” she says looking at your greedy, grubby hands, directing them with hers underneath her garment. “Make me cum. Please.”

As if you had any other intention. Maybe with something better, but that’s usually saved later—and for good reason.

You’re trying so hard not to curse through gritted teeth. Fuck. This. Damned. Skirt. Admittedly, it’s cute and perfectly suits Hanni; it adds to the appeal of seeing this usually meek, well behaved student asking for something more than naughty—it’s downright criminal—but you need to see what makes her really tick. Hanni’s clicking her tongue, growing more frustrated by the second than you are, anxiously waiting for you to come through. Carefully, you push a finger into her, then another, moving in delicate and systemic motion.

Then, it all clicks in perfect harmony:

She releases this pent-up moan from the depths of her chest, as though it were a heave of relief. The initial plunge from earlier makes plunging between her slick folds so much easier. You take a moment to let the satisfying sound sink in: the wet slop of her cunt as it reflexes against your fingers, unable to keep yourself from moaning with delight before you slowly draw back, then in again.

From there, everything takes care of itself.

Hanni dissolves into a whimpering mess, under the hypnotic spell of your fingers fucking her pussy in tempered, intricate strokes, effortlessly and handily. Body shaking, desk quivering under the pressure of her weight, her hands struggling to find reprieve from the overwhelming sensations thundering all over her. She can barely breathe, let alone find the words to speak. Only quick curses. Each and every word so gratifying to hear.

“Fuck—fuck—its—its—so—good—more—”

You don’t give her any breathing room. In the brief moments when you lax, with your fingers either motionless deep within her cunt or pull back, leaving marks on her inner thighs with her own slick, you’re all over her, gently fondling her and kissing her. Half her uniform’s sleeve has fallen down her shoulder, giving you more of her body for you to claim as your own. With every little touch and thing you do, you continue to set her nerves ablaze with nothing to quench her lust.

It’s no wonder she’s such a teacher’s pet; she loves to follow along without any resistance or objection. A fact proven when you lift her undershirt to expose her taut nipples, and your free hand impulsively takes them. You give her left tit a twist, and from her needy lips comes a sharp whine.

“Do it again,” she says, panting, nodding her head wildly, visibly overwhelmed. She doesn’t know what hit her, but it feels fucking amazing.

Of course, you wouldn’t pass up the opportunity, even if she hadn’t asked. Hanni’s body, all yours for the taking. Not everyone can say they fucked the top girl in the class in the classroom of all places.

And you let your body do all the talking. No amount of words nor their depth can adequately describe the sensation of tasting and feeling her figure. First your free fingers, then your tongue—they make their mark on her chest while your other digits crawl to a lazy pace inside her cunt. Not that she minds—she’s too engrossed in the blissful sensation to remotely care. Her hands find their way around your neck and back, scratching and digging away at your skin in an attempt to pull you even closer.

It aches—but not as much as the ache in Hanni’s core. As you inch her closer to climax, you can feel her tremble, propping her head on your shoulder now as her outlet, whimpering, crying, mewling. “Almost—” she mumbles, before she’s caught up again in the sea of her own pleasure. Knowing this, the rest of your body moves like it’s second nature. Faster and deeper, you continue your endless assault on her body, until—

Suddenly, Hanni freezes up, moans over your ear as a moment of silent calm follows. In the succeeding moments, you both remain clung together as her orgasm hits. And by god, it hits her like lightning. Sharp and brutal. Fingers stuck deep in her core as she gushes, quivers all over them. It lingers, leaves you both incapacitated.

Minutes that could easily stretch into hours, stuck on a desk, basking in the afterglow of unadulterated bliss. Eventually, she lifts up her head and lets out a deep breath of relief. Her hands remain entangled with your hair as she pulls herself back. A scope down gives you a short but telling extent of the damage: copious amounts of slick dripping on the edge of the table, down to the floor. You’re a little terrified of what your fingers will look like.

Through half-lidded eyes, Hanni flashes you a smile as she slowly realizes the mess she has become. Cheeks flustered with embarrassment, she quickly pushes down her undershirt, but they can’t hide her nipples’ rigidness. You’re both grinning at each other like mischievous pranksters. Something tells you that despite everything, it’s not enough. The fire in her eyes and the confidence in her laugh says it all: she’s looking for more trouble, and one way or another, you’re gonna be her accomplice.

Before you can even utter a word, you both hear a knock on the door. Through the casted silhouette, you recognize that it’s a janitor. Spent energy be damned, you’re brought back to reality. You quickly turn to Hanni in a state of alarm, “Shit. I told you not told to do this in the classroom—”

Reaching out her hand, she replies, “It’s gonna be fine! Give me my bag and I’ll get us out of this.”

You immediately rush Hanni her bag, and while you hastily put yourself back in one piece, she grabs a pack of tissues to clear all evidence of your little escapade. In no time, you’ve somehow returned the place in nearly the same position you found it. Only one difference: her panties are left on the floor, and she hasn’t bothered to pick them up.

“Wait, your underwear—” you tell her as you pick them off the floor. She’s already on the edge of the classroom, opening up one of the windows to escape. It’s not a suicide jump; only someone with brittle bones could possibly break their legs doing the drop, and there’s really no other choice: run away with her or find yourself at the dean’s office on your first day back after the holidays.

“Keep it if you want.” Hanni shoots you a playful wink and a cheeky grin as she lifts one leg over the open window. “We don’t have much time, so unless you wanna explain yourself to the profs—”

“I’m already in trouble regardless,” you reply as you join her on the way out. You didn’t need to think about what to do. “Got eight missed phone calls from my fam. I’m fucked regardless. Might as well make the most of our time while we’re here.”

—————

A/N: Happy new year! I never thought I’d write something for NewJeans, but never say never. Hanni was easily the scene stealer for me at the Asia Artist Awards, she and the other members constantly waved at us from beginning to end, and they were killer performers! I can see why she’s so adored; she’s both talented and adorable. It’s been difficult getting back into writing after one month away, so this definitely is a feel-out attempt, but I hope it’s still good anyway. Here’s to the coming year and hopefully more to come. Thanks for reading!

P.S. I sincerely want to take this moment to apologize for my slow production. As previously mentioned, I got hit with a severe case of the flu, which kept me down for almost two weeks. Since recovering, I’ve been experiencing weird cases of brain fog, where sometimes my mind ‘isn’t there’ and it feels like my body’s been moving on autopilot. I’ve been getting healthier since then, but the so-called absentmindedness still remains. I’ve tried writing a few times since then, and it honestly feels like I’ve forgotten how to write. Hell, this fic was supposed to be out on Christmas day and I’ve struggled to put it together! It’s been very rough. I don’t wanna make promises because I’ll just end up breaking them, so I’ll just say that I’m trying my damned hardest to get back to that level I had been moving before my momentum stalled. I always want to deliver the best possible fic for you to enjoy. Thank you so much for being patient with me as always <3

#smut #kpop smut #newjeans #hanni

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rxzennia · 12 days

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a promise of forever

– tales of the voracity pathstrider

✎𓂃 falling in love; promising an eternity in return. aventurine's real name, ~3k word vomit

aventurine has realized by now that he might just be in love with you.

okay, love is a strong word, let’s take a few steps back.

he isn’t too sure if he’s ready to make that commitment yet, so… at least, he wants you to always be with him. to stay by his side.

he has to make the first move because you would never

he’s terrified!! he doesn’t want to be the first one to offer his heart!!

but if he doesn’t you’d be perfectly content maintaining whatever you have right now

like… boss and assistant? friends? best friends? roommates? lovers? not yet?

aeons he hated how passive you are

it’s so damn obvious that you liked him back to a certain degree

but why aren’t you trying to hold onto him? why aren’t you trying to take up more of his life like he’s doing with you?

he wants your smiles all to himself; wants your hidden softness to only be directed at him; wants your affection for himself, all of you, including your leviathans

he loves, loves how you’ve opened up to him over time

you’ve gone from a ice cold slab of stone to a wall he trusts enough to rant at, then the highlight of his life that he doesn’t want to let go of

the way you would get upset whenever he tries to do something dangerous, even if you and he both know he’d come out fine

the way you would pick up the phone regardless of when or why he’s calling, even if you’re off duty and annoyed at him ringing you at 2am

the way you would, without considering his feelings, cringe and back away when he accidentally brings you food you hate, but ultimately feed it to your scarf because you don’t want to waste it

he loves them all. your reactions, your expressions, everything

especially when he’s probably the only one to see so much of you all the time

he wants to keep hearing you talk about yourself, keep learning more about you, even the parts of you that no one’s ever known before

he didn’t want to tell you all of that, yet he wants you to know

except you’ve made it very clear with your personality that if he doesn’t tell you, you won’t pry

and, like, you can’t read minds. neither can he.

so you’ve essentially forced him into confessing :(

if he wants your friendship (and more), he has to be the one who asks

aventurine remembers how cold you were at the beginning, so much so that he briefly wondered if working under him was amount to torture for you as it was for a few of his previous secretaries.

you never talked more than absolutely necessary, you've always had that terrifying glare, and couple these things with the fact that he rarely saw your face? yeah, you didn’t look like you wanted to be there.

he tried to transfer you elsewhere. under topaz, maybe, or even jade, or even some other department but you've never replied.

but you've replied to his texts before and after that?

you've just flat out ignored the transfer offer?

does this mean you don't want to be transferred?

that's probably when his fascination with you started

you, who's so detached and seems to dislike him, wanting to stay as his secretary?

he tried to ask you about it once, but all he got was “there's still a year before my contract expires”

which, well, yes, fair enough

but you should also know that if he's the one bringing it up, you won’t be getting into trouble for breaking the contract

he drops it, though, because he knows that there might be certain things you don't want to tell him

or perhaps you don't understand

he feels like you're very bad with emotions and expressing your thoughts

you are, honestly

it’s a different story with the permanent offer he made you a while ago, though

“are you sure?” you asked, with rare anticipation in your eyes

he chuckles, “absolutely.”

you try to hide your joy, but the speed at which you signed the paper is telltale enough

he’s also promoted you from secretary to assistant

even though you’re pretty much his assistant already

you don’t really know how to feel about that part

does this mean you’ll get even busier? not really? will you still be staring at contracts at 3am?

then comes aventurine’s offer for you to move in with him.

you’ve managed to finally notice that the dynamic between you and your boss resembles that of typical lovers in the media, but what do you know? one, aventurine is probably unused to someone else’s company so he’s compensating for it, and two, it’s not like you’re versed enough in mortal sentiments to make an accurate judgement.

he cuddles up to you in his sleep

he’ll smack your face accidentally when he wakes up and stretches

“this is the twenty-third time you’ve done this.” your scarf morphs into half a faceless snake and push his hand back down

why the hell have you been keeping count

you’ve mostly lined your morning routine up with his

efficiency, you tell yourself, it’ll be easier to keep yourselves on schedule

which means you find yourself with him at the breakfast table more often than not

he’s eating normally, while you…

you have a leviathan chewing on the entire plate, and yes that includes the ceramic

what about you? you’re preparing presentations and drafting contracts, of course!

or sometimes fighting for your life in corporate emails :/

is starting the day together really still simply “efficiency” at this point?

you’re starting to think you’re lying to yourself as the days go by

maybe you’ve been living amongst mortals for too long

because you find him so precious that you want to hold him dearly and give him everything

he’s so scared of being vulnerable, but he’s willing to lower his guard around you

what is this foreign feeling? what’s with this odd desire to protect? to hoard?

like how dragons hoard treasure, or how crows hoard shiny things

has anyone told you you’re terrible at emotions?

you’re terrible at emotions

you’ve memorized every little thing he likes and every little habit he has

and he noticed! of course he noticed!

are you absolutely sure you don’t like him even a little bit?

are you absolutely sure you have nothing to say to him?

must he make the first move when you’re so blatantly obvious?

he really, really, hates you (lovingly) for this

aventurine eventually comes to terms with it. if he wants you, officially, he’ll have to bare his innermost thoughts first.

there’s a period of distancing, and a period of overwhelming anxiety and overthinking all on his own. but even then you didn’t pull away from him, no; you were patient. you’ve asked, then left him alone when he turned his head away, then you’ve kept it professional. you didn’t question him again after, either.

it stung a little when you acted all formal with him, but it’s your little actions in-between that convinced him to finally come out and say it. getting him coffee the way he likes it, letting him find comfort in your presence at night even if he’s suddenly closed himself off, ordering his favorite takeout when it’s a slow day, covering his openings when you find yourselves locked in combat… you’ve always been looking after him, haven’t you?

finally, finally, aventurine decides to confess.

considering how little he knows about you, he (surprisingly) isn’t too worried about giving you his heart

well, of course there is the tiniest amount of doubt and fear

but mostly he thinks you wouldn’t betray his trust. mostly.

you’re a walking green flag, after all

maybe with the exception of when you’re left alone with monsters

but the way you treat him? green flag. massive green flag.

even after he’s told you a little bit about his past, you haven’t looked down on him at all

he doesn’t think you’ve ever looked down on him

though, he thought you thought him despicable when you first met because of the way you looked at him

not unreasonable with the stereotypes against his people and all

but you’ve proven his assumption wrong on your first day

you were totally cooperative and really… well, not nice, but not hard to work with, either

despite your unresponsiveness, you’ve kept everything he said in mind

that’s not how one behaves around someone they find distasteful

and after spending so much time with you, he realized that’s just how your stare is

you sort of… look down on everyone without meaning to

you have no idea how relieved he was when he could finally be certain that you’ve never disliked him

also! he can discern between your stares now

your resting neutral stare, your happy stare, your disgusted stare, they’d look the same to the average person, but not to him anymore

(he was super happy when he realized he’s got it all down)

he’s learned to read you because you’re so reserved and detached all the time

oh how he wished you’d tell him more about yourself

before anyone asks, he did try to dig up your past

imagine his surprise when he found nothing, like, literally nothing

the one time he watched you eat a monster whole was the first time he learned something deeper about you

he then realized that it wasn’t a coincidence that he couldn’t find anything about you

anyways, back to the confession

he’s come up with an entire plan in his head, but he really has no idea how to execute it

he wants to make it as memorable as possible for you!

except… would you even like a grand confession (of companionship)?

in the end, he took you out to a fancy dinner under the guise of “just another dinner date with your boss”

he’ll tell you his feelings at home

he has an inkling that you’d prefer it that way. intimate and private.

“hey…” aventurine starts, sitting down next to you on the bed after his shower, “i’ve been thinking…”

you naturally pull the towel off his shoulders and stand up to dry his hair for him. “you think?”

“stop, i’m serious,” he complains, punching your stomach playfully before burying his face in your shirt. “hear me out, you oversized snake.”

that’s the first time you’ve heard that nickname. “what?” you can’t help but be amused at the creative insults, then you let out a soft sigh and shut your mouth.

“you know how you’re now my permanent assistant?” aventurine slowly says, wrapping his arms around your waist as you work on his head, “can i… can we keep having this arrangement?”

you reply with a hum, but your tone slides up towards the end, like you’re asking a question. he chuckles, of course you’re confused, you’re so dense sometimes.

aventurine shifts around until he’s looking up at you. “this. you and i, living together, taking care of each other,” he elaborates, his eyes half-closed from how tired he is, “can you… stay?” then, with a quieter voice, he adds, “with me?”

you take some time to think about it as you toss the towel aside and bring out the hair dryer

from what you know about him, this is a very, very big request for him

he’s essentially asking if he can rely on you

even though he’s probably relied on himself most of his life

he wants to put his faith in you? you’re flattered, really

it seems like he’s also checking off a lot boxes for what people call “love”

according the the movies and books you’ve watched and read, anyway

but he’s not calling it “love”? is this something else, then?

you start blow drying his hair, carding through his blond locks with your free hand

he relaxes into your touch

“well? your answer?” aventurine asks, a slight shake in his voice as he peeks at you nervously.

“you sound like the protagonist of a romance movie,” you remark, leaning down to give him a quick peck on his head, “is this what it is?”

suddenly, it dawns on you why exactly were there flowers at dinner

roses, no less

but jeez, you did not need to call him out like that

what happened to oblivious and clueless?

then again, you’re bad with your own emotions, but you’re horribly good at reading others’

he flushes and hides his face in your stomach

he just wants to hear your answer, not hear you point out he’s probably extremely smitten with you

and it’s probably worse that you compared him to the lead actors in a romance movie

is he so obvious? is he not subtle at all?

does this mean you’ve known all along? you just didn’t want to make the first move?

or do you not feel the same way?

oh no, he’s overthinking again

“aventurine,” you call, snapping him out of his trance, “if you don’t say no, i’ll assume this is a love confession.”

man, why would you say it like that? it’s not that he can deny it, but if you’re going to be so damn straightforward…

“it… it is, i suppose, in more ways than one,” he whimpers in embarrassment, “will you, then, uh, will you say yes?”

he wants to trust you with all of himself so bad

finally he won’t have to shoulder everything alone anymore

he’ll tell you everything about his upbringing, even the ugliest parts

he’s been yearning for someone to hear him, to see him for so long

will you be his person?

he’s so excited and so scared

more scared than excited, actually

there are more issues he’ll need to work through, but for now?

he wants your promise

he doesn’t think he’ll ever come across someone as perfect as you again

so he really, really, really needs you to say yes

as the low whirr of the hair dryer comes to a stop, you set the little device on the nightstand and sit down next to aventurine. you sandwich his face between your palms and make him meet your gaze – you’ll never get used to how mystically pretty his eyes are – as you flash him a lazy smile.

“if you’re sure you want me,” you mumble; it seems that you are just as embarrassed as he is, “then… by all means.”

just as he’s going to throw himself into your arms, you stand up

?????? where are you going ??????

oh, you’re just going to put away the hair dryer and the towel

and also bring a spare scarf back with you?

did you forget that you have yours hanging on your neck

he’s so over the moon right now he’s all giddy and all over the place inside

are you perhaps the same?

when you come back, he practically throws himself into your lap

you avoid his eyes

holy shit you’re cute when you’re flustered

you’re blushing

you, who’s usually so stoic and unresponsive, is blushing!!

and trying to hide your face without resorting to your scarf!!

in the end you give up and instead pull him so close that he can’t see your expression

he doesn’t know what he’s asking out, you think, he doesn’t know what he’s trying to trust

which makes it all the more endearing to you

and it makes you want to make sure you live up to his expectations

this little mortal has you wrapped around his finger, and you don’t find yourself annoyed at all

in fact you want to shelter him and coddle him so badly that you’re tempted to act on instinct

tempted to. you can’t, because of a lot a lot of reasons

again, seriously, you’ve been hanging around mortals for far too long

you gently press his face into your shoulder. “aven-”

“kakavasha,” he corrects, “call me kakavasha. please.”

“okay, kakavasha.” you don’t hesitate, and you move to massage his scalp. “your real name?”

it seems like he’s in no mood to talk, because all he gives you is a quiet hum in affirmation; you agree with him, you don’t feel like talking much, either.

you pull away slightly to kiss right above his ear. then you did something he would’ve never expected you to do – with your nimble fingers, you wrapped the extra scarf in your hands around his neck, gave it a few loops then secured it with the same knot you use to secure yours.

what just happened

you slowly pull away with a soft pat to the piece of cloth

did you just give him…?

you did. you did, you mad danger noodle of incomprehensible mass

two faceless creatures with drool dripping from their maws stare at him

they’re connected to the scarf you put on him

he’s feeling so many things right now

even if he doesn’t quite understand what this means, he at least knows that you’ve given him a literal part of yourself

you’re very into this idea of being with him, huh…?

boy, he’s so glad he decided to confess

because he would’ve never known had he not asked

and what do you mean he would’ve missed out on something so wonderful?

this is also the first time someone outside of his family has ever given him something so precious and personal

he awkwardly reaches out to pet them

they nudge against his hand happily?

that’s weirdly adorable for a creature that has a diet of literal monsters

and much like satisfied pets, they disappear into the scarf after they’ve gotten their fill of petting

“for me?” aventurine- no, kakavasha asks, tentatively running his hands across the smooth fabric.

“proof of my loyalty to you,” you reply, taking his hand and placing kisses on his every finger.

what you don’t tell him is that your promise will last for eternity and beyond – even if you fight, or part ways, you’ll always watch over him. he doesn’t need to know that. not yet, anyway.

“you…” kakavasha feels like he’s a child all over again. he’s safe, he’s not making a wager, he’s not going to win or lose here, he can finally take a breather. “you have no idea…”

he buries his face into you, grabs your sides so he can press his body tightly against yours, and he sobs into your chest. he isn’t surprised at all that the scarf around your neck would wrap around him too, and he’s just all bundled up in you.

“shh, shh.” you pat his back and rock him back and forth. “easy now,” you whisper, “i’m here, kakavasha.”

aeons, he really, really loves the sound of your voice, especially when you say his name. when it was aventurine, you were reliable, loyal, and above all, gentle; when he finally allows you to call him kakavasha, every syllable from your lips drips with unspoken affection and a gratefulness that he’s unused to.

maybe someday he’ll finally be able to proudly profess his love to you. but at this very moment…

this is enough.

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #aventurine #aventurine x reader #ares's voracity pathstrider tales

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artbyblastweave · 10 months

Text

Still playing Skyrim. And I’m interested to report that the game is actually better than I remember, on balance. But I’m kind of fascinated by what’s going on with Lydia, mechanically and narratively.

Lydia is the first follower who gets shoved in your face just by virtue of following the main quest. There are others you can pick up earlier, but not without finishing errands (for Faendal and Sven), by forking up a pretty big chunk of change for the early game by hiring Janessa, or by going out of your way in some other manner. If you’re completely new to the game and you’re just powering through the main story as it’s presented, she’s the first option for a follower that the game highlights for you in giant blinking neon lights. And as a quest reward, she’s mechanically kind of a godsend at that point in the story; a doubling of carry capacity, an excellent meat shield and distraction, a way to extract utility from weapons and armor you don’t want to use yourself. More subjectively she provides the impression of a stalwart ally or companion in what can be a very lonely worldspace to exist in. There’s very little reason not to take her with you, and once you have her, the majority of companions being equal, there’s very little reason to get rid of her until she stops level scaling.

Despite the mechanical utility Lydia provides at a crucial point, and the resultant likelyhood that you’ll haul her along for the ride, she’s only a couple steps up from the companion cube. She has no specific, non-fungible impact on the narrative beyond demonstrating Jarl Balgruuf’s favor. Her deferral to you is automatic; if someone is actively paying her a salary to help you defile graves, cut deals with every deity on the continent and invade the afterlife, it sure as hell isn’t you. It isn’t clear what her gig under Balgruuf was before she was assigned to you. She has no personal narrative. She has no personal side quest. One of her biggest inklings of personality is when she expresses vague dissatisfaction with being treated as a pack mule, but then she does it anyway. She’s party to world-shaking events and political upheavals, but she’s present purely in her capacity as your appendix, so reality simply treats her as your plus-one.

She’ll block doors you’re trying to get through, and she’ll get mad at you if you push her out of the way. She’ll charge into battle or set off traps while you’re trying to sneak. She’ll microaggress you with stock Nord dialogue while pulverizing your enemies, a plurality of whom are also Nords. She’ll distract bosses long enough to buy you breathing room for a healing spell or a potion. You’ll kill her by accident with an ill-timed area-of-effect spell, roll your eyes, and, ultimately, probably reload your save. Because she might only be a couple steps up from a companion cube, but the whole gag with the companion cube is how ridiculously low the threshold is for the audience to get genuinely attached to something in a video game. A thin character invites apophenia. Behaviors that are purely downstream of dev thoughtlessness will still imply character traits if taken at Watsonian Face Value. In this case, inexplicable undying loyalty, reserved comments on impressive landmarks, and comical stoicism in the face of some of the weirdest events it’s conceptually possible to encounter. So here’s to weird, underbaked companions in Bethesda Games, and everything we can project onto the void they provide. And Here’s to that related genus of character- units in squad-based tactics or management-sim games with permadeath mechanics who last long enough and accumulate enough equipment, skill points, etc. that they become your Special Little Guy despite otherwise lacking any deliberate character traits.

#thoughts #meta #skyrim #the elder scrolls #elder scrolls #TES #lydia #skyrim lydia

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celaenaeiln · 8 months

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thinking about some quotes i’ve read and i wanna hear your thoughts on them because i have a lot and i don’t know what to do with them.

“the day Dick Grayson turns evil is the day the universe ends, not because that day will never come but because the boy will make it come”

“Dick Grayson isn’t the universal constant of good. Dick Grayson is the universal constant of competence”

“So, having said all that, it is a few but definitely significant words that fill the contingency plan on Nightwing in case the hero of Bludhaven ever turns to the dark side. Let's hope that never happens.”

YESSSSS

“the day Dick Grayson turns evil is the day the universe ends, not because that day will never come but because the boy will make it come”

This is the truest fact I've ever heard because this is really canon.

Word for word this happened.

In one of the canon timelines Clark laser blasted Bruce under mind control.

And oh how Dick took over. You know what Luthor says?

"After all, as I've heard your father [Dick] so often quoted, 'we make the hardest decisions for those we care about the most.' Well, in his case...that has meant remaking the world."

This man has the power to single-handedly control the fate of the world.

Whatever he wants, he will make it happen.

The entirety of the justice league, all the metas, heroes, and villains too stood no chance against him.

DC vs Vampires

“Dick Grayson isn’t the universal constant of good. Dick Grayson is the universal constant of competence”

I think it's true.

Nightwing is one of the most formidable figures in DC, without fail consistently coming out on top, so if Superman is iterating that Dick's personality and essence of being is the same, then there's really no room for disagreement.

But more truly, I think he is a Nexus.

By Marvel's definition, "Nexus Beings are rare individual entities with the ability to affect probability and thus the future, thereby altering the flow of the Universal Time Stream. These beings, each referred to as a nexus, act as the keystones of the Multiverse and are crucial to its ultimate coherence and stability."

That means that the universe hinges on the actions of Dick Grayson.

Not only does he control the fate of the world but his mere existence determines what will become of it by other people:

I'd like to reiterate that Neux Beings are "the keystones of the Multiverse and are crucial to its ultimate coherence and stability."

You can still be a nexus if you turn dark. For example Lore was a dark version of Wanda Maximoff but she is still considered a nexus. So you're right in saying that Dick Grayson is a multiuniversal constant of competence.

In the easiest terms as someone put it, "hope he fucks up" is Bruce's only contingency plan against Nightwing. The man doesn't have a clear plan how to neutralize Nightwing.

His exact words are: "As a result of overanalyzing any situation, this allows Dick Grayson to overconfident and misdirected. This will make himself open to a second attack."

So the plan is basically 'Dick is too smart for his own good so we'll have to go with a lucky surprise attack.' He's literally saying 'yupppp. Let's just hope he messed up because there's nothing we can do on ouR end.' Note that Bruce doesn't even have a back up like 'the second attack didn't work? we're fucked.'

For everyone else he actually has a coherent plan in mind- do this and they will fall. But for Dick? 'I hope he messes up enough for a second attack to actually stick. Otherwise we're shit out of luck. And lives. Fingers crossed he doesn't jump to the bad side.'

Tim also confirmed he would never make a contingency plan for Dick. The only person in the world he wouldn't do one for.

He's just that formidable of a man. Even now he can easily take down the Justice League if he wanted to.

And we know that Dick has one of the strongest wills on the planet.

"I have my enhancements. I have powers. Dick Grayson...what do you have?"

A world where Dick loses his emotions is a world that would not survive.

#canon #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #clark kent #superman #midnighter #batfamily #dc comics #thanks for the ask!#tiger #cl anon asks

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rodolfoparras · 9 months

Text

Detective’s Work

Pairing: Spider Noir x Top Male Reader

Synopsis: in which Noir tries to keep you off the streets and you try to keep him inside the sheets

Content tags: rough blow jobs, exhibition kink, brat! Noir, Hard dom! Reader (kind of), detective! Noir, petty criminal! Reader

A/n: sorry for any mistakes it’s an 11pm Drabble kind of day

As far as anyone knows you and Noir dislike each other. He’s a detective and you’re a criminal. There’s no reason for you two to get along.

But what people don’t know is that every night he shows up to your hotel room, under the excuse that he has to make sure that you’re acting in line but he’s wearing nothing under his trench coat and he's got a pretty plug inside his hole.

There’s a knock on your hotel door and a smile makes its way on your face. There’s only one person foolish enough to wander around shady neighborhoods at this hour.

One second he’s outside your door, the next second he’s bent over a desk, stripped out of everything but his plug, legs spread and cock hard and leaking.

He won’t say a word to you, not until you fuck it out of him at least; a broken string of pleas or needy noises escaping his lips.

He’s not here to talk, he’s here to get fucked by the only person who knows how to do it right.

And once it’s all over and done, he’ll have you put the plug back in, puts on his coat and leaves your hotel room quickly, continuing on with his business like you didn’t just fuck and he isn’t full of your cum.

Sometimes he’ll act out of line and ruin your plans. You don’t mind it much though. He’s a detective after all. It’s his job to stop criminals.

“You sure you don’t want any help with this?” One detective says to Noir as he gets ready to head out to where you had last been spotted.

“Stay here. I’ll deal with it” Noirs responds before he heads towards the door.

Only if the detective knew dealing with it meant being forced down on his knees, hands tied behind his back and mouth pried open as you shove your cock down his throat.

“What were you supposed to be doing now again?” You pretend to think, fingers comically tapping against your chin while continuously rolling your hips.

“Weren’t you supposed to deal with me or something like that? Feels like you’re doing quiet the opposite here” you say with a dark chuckle, rolling your hips harder and hearing the gurgling sound as he chokes on your cock, fat tears rolling down his cheeks and drool dripping from his chin.

“There, there “ You say as you stroke his hair, tone condescending as ever “you’re this place’s ultimate hero or whatever it is. You can take it, can you?” And despite the humiliating position he’s in there’s still a certain spit fire reflecting in his iris as he nods his head and God if it doesn’t make your cock twitch in his mouth.

And as much as he doesn’t like to admit it, he can’t help but be turned by the fact that one day someone might just catch him fucking a criminal.

Interrogations that should go by quickly will last up to a good hour or so if you’re involved. Footage will go missing from both the camera and the microphone.

Noir would say that they malfunctioned. “You know that tech still has a far way to go” but what they don’t know is that a good chunk of that footage shows Noir pushed against the glass wall with you thrusting your cock inside his hole. And a good chunk of that recording is him just begging for more, more, more.

And he’d go out his way to get those recording developed, play it on whatever device he has access to and jerk off to them.

#spider noir #spider noir x reader #spider noir x male reader #top male reader #bottom male character #dom male reader #sub male character #Alec writes #into the spider verse #across the spider verse #uh Alec thinks he’s clever with that title #I’m going to bed goodnight lord djdjdjd

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todorokies · 10 months

Text

jjk characters as male thot jobs

including: satoru gojo, suguru geto, toji fushiguro, kento nanami

contents: sfw but very suggestive, jjk men acting like sluts, gn!reader but there is a fem term used once

a/n: you might not consider some of these as “thot jobs” but im here to hypnotize you ouuuuhhh *wiggles fingers around* .. this is so silly but i had a blast writing this one

☆ . . . since gojo’s brain is hardwired to find teasing others amusing and quite the pass time i could see him as a dentist. you go to your local clinic for a annual deep cleaning and this man purposely goes out of his way to make things seem inherently sensual but still manages to do his job professionally. he’ll coo and praise you for following the most regular orders “now open real nice and wide for me … that’s righttt, good girl.” and “bite down on this … mhm yes just like that, you’re doing a great job.”

he’d definitely be like the annoying ones who still try to have a conversation while knuckles-deep prodding in your mouth. “i can tell you haven’t been flossing as much as you should be, what’s up with that?” and all you can do is narrow your eyes at him. he always caress your jaw and cheek too even through the latex gloves his touches are so intimate and gentle at the end of your appointment you’ll be genuinely considering if you should fuck your dentist or not.

☆ . . . i had multiple options for geto but firmly decided on a ceramic artist. i can envision him owning a modern yet whimsical pottery studio —he wanted the modern look but nanako and mimiko insist on the whimsical interior.— he offers free beginner classes twice a month. omgg the way his hands knead at the clay and skillfully sculpts on the wheel with his fingers meticulously bending, making his veins more prominent while delicately morphing the creation into a vase. he annunciates his instructions with melodic calmness but still has authority present in his tone i swearrr his voice is like honey.

you catch his eye in one of his classes and offers extended hours free of charge to help you “better your form.” he sits behind you, cradling your forearms directing your movements but still making room for you to assist your own creation. his warm minted breath tickles the back of your neck causing goosebumps “make sure to sit close to the wheel and anchor your elbows tightly against your body…” the sultry in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed with him slightly moving to your ear next “don’t be afraid to make mistakes it’s all about trial and error darling.”

☆ . . . like the unemployed bum toji is, he seems like the type of man to pride himself as a ‘jack of all trades.’ which is why i see him in the freelancer field of work, specifically, a personal shopper. he has an app on his phone where he can either accept or deny requests. he’s quite picky with commissions when money isn’t running low, but don’t get him wrong, he’s willing to go the extra mile to please his clients. always prefers phone calls over text when discussing farther details knowing his gruff voice will have the recipient weak in the knees. he isn’t shameful to treat his full time employment as a part time hookup arrangement…if he’s lucky enough that is.

“here’s your stuff pretty.” the quite taller and muscular man at your porch hands over a brown bag containing your groceries. you don’t miss the way his hands graze yours in the exchange, his sharp eyes examine you like you’re his prey; awaiting for your next move in a game you involuntarily started playing. words of gratitude try to slither past your lips but ultimately couldn’t —you’ve officially peaked his interest— “hey, why don’t i help you unload your items?” at that you nodded making way for the sleazy man to enter your home and eventually your bedroom as well.

☆ . . . what differentiates nanami from the rest is that he’s unaware of how insanely attractive his profession as a baker is. he truly doesn’t understand the appeal of a man in an apron kneading dough and decorating pink frilly cupcakes. he co-owns a bakery with haibara !! they even enrolled in culinary school together. the interior is quite morden with wisteria and other succulent plants hanging from the ceiling; most of the time he’s clueless to very clear advances from others or kindly shut them down saying how he’s “not looking for anything serious” which is a lie he himself started to believe.

but on a faithful sunday autumn morning you stroll in just salivating at the thought of warm dewy chocolate filled croissants, fresh from the oven, when you see him; clad in a bulky knitted cream sweater tying a black apron around his slim waist whilst his becipes bulged slightly through the thick material of the sweater. “good morning, what can i get for you today?” one thing lead to another making you leave with not only a croissant but the blond man’s phone number —due thanks to his cheeky younger coworker, yuji, who wrote the number on your receipt including a note that read: ‘he’s soooo into you :)’—

reblogs & feedback is extremely appreciated !! <3

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khalixvitae · 6 months

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I’m still. Hung up on the fact that people think Idia is an incel. I think what’s fundamentally important to remember about him is that he is the biggest proponent of his own isolation. Incels believe they are unfairly ignored by/passed over by possible romantic partners, but Idia doesn’t really think that way. Like yes on his deepest levels he does want to connect with someone (I mean look at the media he consumes- he’s a massive romance and slice of life junkie) and have a normal life. But he’s firmly convinced that he can’t. He can’t cultivate face to face relationships because he thinks that ultimately it will be pointless; he can’t give somebody a life worth living because yk, he’s literally bound by blood to a life of isolation w this whole generational curse thing. Either that or they’ll just be generally put off by him and see him the way he sees himself. Whether it’s because he can’t or he shouldn’t, ultimately Idia is the one perpetuating his own isolation. He’s horrifically depressed and lonely, but he’s also agoraphobic. He finds himself gross and just generally considers himself a bad choice in partner. whether or not others agree is trivial. He doesn’t feel like anyone owes him a relationship because he doesn’t think he’s worth that trouble. And like yes he does think he’s smarter than everyone in a given room, but he doesn’t think he’s a better person. Like he literally all but states that numerous times. Idia knows he’s terrible, and tbh part of his problems come from his fear that he can’t change that and nihilistic complacency in his own misery. It’s like his internship offers kind of. He just deletes them because there’s no point in pursuing something that he just isn’t “made for”. He’s had enough bad luck as is, why try and defy fate. It’s actually really sad because he does seem to resent that part of himself even in his complacency, and he does think the whole thing is unfair, but like. He’s definitely not an incel ???

#anyway uhghggggghhhh I hate the incel Idia trope #that’s like. the opposite of what’s going on w his nuance #he’s a toxic gamer ik but he’s not like. a right winger or incel or misogynist #idia post （ ; ; ）<3 #twst #idia shroud

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ddarker-dreams · 1 year

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Idée Fixe.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader.

Warnings: Some not SFW elements, yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, emotional manipulation, depictions of general & social anxiety disorder, depictions of a panic attack, mentions of anxiety medication, Chrollo administers medications to Reader without her consent, and mentions of religion. Also Chrollo just really, really sucks. Word count: 12.3k.

You met a strange man at the arboretum today.

Perhaps you aren’t in a position to describe others as ‘strange’, considering your latest proclivity for expressing earnest thanks to any honey bees you happen across for their service. After much contemplation, however, it’s ultimately the word you arrive at. ‘Strange’ not in a disconcerting sense that inspires fear, but just being out of the ordinary enough to exude an undeniable allure. A raised panel on the floor you stumble over yet suffer no serious injury from.

Well-kept gardens might be the closest imitation to heaven on earth. That’s what brought you to this little oasis hidden in the desert that is urban life. It’s the type of day romanticists wax poetic about: baby blue skies, puffy clouds, and moderate temperatures with a light, forgiving breeze.

You situated yourself strategically, so you’d be beneath the shade of a magnolia tree whose pink petals kept fluttering down as if in greeting, and near a patch of daffodils that matched the shade of your gingham dress. Blades of grass tickle your legs, but not unpleasantly so, they scratch an itch found only in nature’s loving reprieve. There’s no thought of upcoming assignments, what to eat for dinner, or if buying that purse you thought was a steal at 30% off was a good idea or not.

It’s just you and your book.

Until it isn’t.

Every woman is connected in the experience that is trepidation whenever a man randomly approaches. There’s no telling his intentions, if he has any. You’re left to smile awkwardly and temporarily realign yourself with religion by praying to a higher deity for his hasty departure. You map out potential escape routes and recall the pepper spray situated in your impulse-bought purse. He gently calls out “Miss”, confirming that he hopes to speak with you.

At least he has the propriety to stop a few paces from where you sit, electing not to intrude on your personal space. This causes your shoulders to relax. In the few seconds you’ve been made aware of his existence, you recognize his appealing features. He has loose, dark hair, along with wide and seemingly unassuming eyes. His outfit of a dark gray turtleneck accompanied by a black jacket and pants somewhat strikes you as odd, considering spring is in full bloom. Two other details steal your attention away from this; those being the beige wrapping around his forehead and his spherical, turquoise-colored earrings. It’s like he was caught undecided between wanting and not wanting to attract attention.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” he begins. You try not to think about how pleasant his voice sounds. “I’ve been trying to make sense of the directory, but I’ve never been the best with directions. Do you by any chance know how to get to the Starling House?”

You nod. It’s a quaint, centuries-old mansion, maintained by the non-profit that oversees the flora here. Getting over the initial apprehension from his approach, you try verbalizing the most efficient path to get there. This proves more difficult than you expected since the arboretum is vast and has few waypoints that can be used for reference. Still, throughout your explanation whose unhelpfulness you grow painfully aware of, he patiently nods and makes no attempts to rush you through.

This willingness to put up with your scattered description wins over your sympathy, pushing you past your sheepishness.

“I guess I’m not good at giving directions. I could just show you the way, if you’d like.”

“I’d hate to disturb your reading, but… if it isn’t a bother, I’d certainly appreciate it.”

You’re already setting your bookmark into place. “It’s no bother. This is my second time reading it, anyway. So don’t worry. I’m not being left off on a cliffhanger or anything.”

He smiles at that. When you’re preparing to stand, he extends his hand, a gesture that gives you a momentary pause. Well, you are wearing a dress. You suppose it’s the polite thing for him to do. You accept his unspoken offer and he hoists you up without the least bit of exertion on his part. His hand is warm and bigger than yours, slightly coarse too, surprisingly. His immaculate presentation gave you the impression of a trust fund kid or something in that vein. He’s tasteful in ensuring his touch doesn’t overstay its welcome.

Your heart pounds in your chest.

You catch a hint of his cologne. Sandalwood, amber, and leather blend together to form a delightfully woody fragrance. As amazing as he smells, you create a little distance, walking ahead motioning for him to follow. His longer legs have no trouble catching up, yet he never creeps too close.

The short journey that you expect to only be accompanied by the sounds of cardinals chirping and house finches singing is interrupted by the man speaking up again. Oddly enough, you don’t mind.

“Do you find your thoughts on Prince Myshkin’s initially endearing simple heartedness changed, knowing how the book ends?”

You pause, taking a moment to realize he must be familiar with the work. This revelation fills you with a tentative giddiness. It isn’t often you have a chance to delve into your literary thoughts to a willing audience. There’s plenty more you could say on the subject, but you try to exercise restraint nonetheless.

“I thought I might, but I found myself more critical of the other characters instead.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

He appears genuinely interested, otherwise, you would’ve kept it at that.

“Ah, well, maybe it’s that they serve as proof that innocence is never meant to last. Or if it does, it’ll inevitably be punished. There are moments where I feel frustrated with the Prince’s naivety… but then I stop and wonder why it’s so bad to want to see the best in people. Does that speak to a flaw in his character, or to a flaw in the character of others? Maybe it’s both. I can’t help but feel the Prince’s case is more sympathetic.”

His eyes never leave yours while you give your answer. Heat rises to your cheeks and you internally groan over the prospect of making a stranger listen to your ramblings. He was probably just looking to make casual conversation, not everyone wants an existential crisis on a Saturday afternoon.

“You must be someone who wants to see the best in people as well,” he surmises. There’s no hint of mockery in his tone — he’s oddly sincere. He says it with a hint of bittersweet nostalgia.

Before you can hazard a response, you come across a sign displaying information for an event at the Starling House. The building itself lies in waiting atop a hill less than a quarter of a mile ahead. He stops to read it, as do you, operating under the assumption he came here for the event. It seems that they’re displaying historic artifacts from around the area. You suppose this will be where you part ways. You’re about to wish him well when he sighs, the miffed noise stopping you.

“I got the time wrong,” he frowns, staring at his wristwatch.

The sign says the event begins at 6:00 p.m. and a quick tap of your phone reveals it’s 4:00.

“If you’re looking for a way to burn time, there’s a nice garden behind the House that’s always open to the public,” you explain. This piques his curiosity. “If the sage is in bloom, you might get lucky and see some hummingbirds.”

“That does sound lovely,” he says. Then, his lips quirk up, promising the start of a smile. “Would you care to join me, Miss…?”

You give him your name and he nods, as if deciding it fits you.

“[First]. I understand if my tour guide wants to get back to her reading, though.”

Bashfulness creeps up your back and threatens to sink its fangs into your neck. Your heart’s rhythm takes an erratic cadence. He’s posing the proposition in such a lighthearted way, offering an easy out if you want to take it. You internally weigh your options on a scale that’s worn from overuse. He’s being friendly, you tell yourself. That’s all it is.

“Well, I guess I’d be a shabby tour guide if I didn’t show you where the gardens are.”

On the brief walk to the gardens, the man introduces himself as Chrollo. You both situate yourselves on the same stone bench. You sit on the right, he sits on the left. Once again, he leaves you plenty of space, never testing boundaries. The scent of nascent sage wafts in the air. While you scan your surroundings for hummingbirds, he tells you that his work often necessitates travel, hence his unfamiliarity with the area.

“Does it ever get lonely?” You ask, not thinking much of it. He gives you a look you can’t quite place, so you elaborate. “Traveling all the time, I mean.”

He tilts his head, more inquisitive than offended. “What makes you think it’d be lonely?”

“I just think I’d get homesick after a while, always being in an unfamiliar place. I’d miss my family and friends.”

When he continues staring at you in silence with those unreadable eyes, you swear you want to slam your head repeatedly against a wall. Not everyone has a good relationship with their family or people to call their friends. The weight of your potential insensitivity comes crashing down on you like a tsunami.

You move your hands around wildly, rushing to correct your discourtesy. “Uh, I mean, that isn’t to say you need those things!”

“You don’t think I have any friends?”

Your face must be radiating more heat than a furnace. Still, the embarrassment doesn’t reach a point where you’re unable to notice his omission of the word family. “I didn’t—”

Contrary to the reaction you were expecting, Chrollo laughs. Not a little chuckle, but a genuine laugh, hearty in a way that stands in stark contrast to his otherwise reserved demeanor. The smile it imprints on his face somehow feels different than what he’s displayed before. Those were always so well timed, lasting as long as necessary and never a second more. It hits you then just how handsome this man is. Alabaster skin, soft and glossy hair, lips as rosy as the blush on his cheeks from his outburst of laughter.

It doesn’t last long, he’s quick to school himself. The speed he does so is almost unnatural. “I apologize, I’m only teasing. You’re very expressive, [First].”

You let out something between a huff and a sigh. “God, I felt so awful…”

“I can tell,” he puts his hands up in mock surrender when you send him a non-threatening glare. “To answer your question… I’ve never thought about it much. I suppose it is lonely at times.”

This revelation pours a bucket of ice-cold water over the embers of your indignation. Your face softens and a stinging pain shoots throughout your body. You can’t bring yourself to remain miffed when you’re the one who dredged this topic up. People use humor as a means to cope, that may be what Chrollo does.

“Enough about me, though. I’m far more interested in you.”

You shift in your seat. Did it always feel so warm out?

“Here, let me guess. You’re certainly a student. Hm… of the humanities, perhaps?”

“You got the student part right,” you agree. “I’m majoring in criminal psychology.”

There’s something like a twinkle in his eyes. “Oh? Is that so? You want to catch criminals, then?”

“Er… not exactly. It’s more that I want to help them.”

He blinks. “Help them?”

“Not, like, as an accomplice,” you earnestly reassure, to which he smiles, “How do I explain it… take the city around us, right? It’s considered one of the most dangerous in the United States of Saherta.”

As if on cue, a cacophony of police sirens begins blaring in the distance.

“In the 80s and 90s, there was a surge of incarceration, yet crime as a whole set higher records each year. The policy at the time was ‘build more prisons, give longer sentences’. Obviously, that didn’t work out very well for anyone… except for private prisons maybe… that’s a whole different beast. Anyway, you reap what you sow. Crime rate is going down, but communities were gutted by these policies. There’s still a lot of work to be done. I want to understand ‘deviant’ behavior so I can see what safety nets would benefit them the most.”

Chrollo is such an excellent listener that unlike before, you no longer feel the pressure to remain succinct and have little qualms completely delving into your passion. His body language suggests total engagement.

“Ah, so you view crime as a result of societal shortcomings.”

“It’s more nuanced than that,” you shake your head. “Hell, even when there were only four people on earth according to the Bible, Cain went ahead and committed murder anyway. That’s like… killing 25% of the population… how messed up. Wait. If there were only four people on earth, who did Cain go on to marry? How does that work…? Asexual reproduction…?”

“The Quran says Cain and Abel both had twin sisters,” Chrollo offers.

“Alright, that makes more sense than asexual reproduction. Okay! Enough about theology! Back to crime. There’s no totally eradicating it, but there is circumventing it. That’s what I want to help do.”

You’ve been so preoccupied with verbalizing your thoughts, you failed to notice he’s scooted slightly closer to you. There’s enough room for decorum yet you can’t help feeling slightly flustered. Why this cute guy is still hanging around despite the fact you casually mentioned asexual reproduction not once, but twice, is a phenomenon that transcends human reason.

This is so going to be one of those interactions that haunts you periodically at three in the morning for the rest of your life.

“It’s a noble pursuit,” Chrollo comments. Then, he places a hand to his chin. “Forgive me if this comes off as pessimistic, but… what if you put in all that work, only for nothing significant to change?”

You shrug. “I’ve considered that plenty, trust me. It’s fine if I don’t kickstart a utopia. So long as I can say I helped one person, that’s good enough for me.”

“One person, huh?”

It seems more like a rhetorical musing on his part, so you allow yourself to be momentarily distracted. In your peripherals, there’s a flash of colors, shades of green and red bleeding together. A low buzz accompanies the sporadic sight. The blur moves erratically, high to low, then low to high.

You cover your mouth to stifle a gasp, then whisper to your companion, “Chrollo! Look! A hummingbird!”

The thrum of nature is a wonder you’ll never tire of. It inspires awe that reflects in your eyes like a mirror, enchants without needing to cast a spell. You wrongly assume that Chrollo must be partaking in the same miracle that has stolen your attention. He’s fixated, yes, but not on the right subject matter. He’s still staring at you. This disruption of your expectations can only be explained away by the possibility he hasn’t spotted the creature yet. To remedy this, you slowly point in the hummingbird’s direction. Finally, he breaks his gaze from your form, acknowledging what it is you find so fascinating.

By then, it’s too late. Your newly made acquaintance departs as swiftly as it arrived.

“Aw, that’s a shame,” you lament. The disappointment you’d feel if you were in his shoes would be immeasurable. “You didn’t get to see it for very long.”

You have no concrete proof, but you swear every smile he wears is different than the one before it.

“It’s alright. I saw something far better.”

Curious, you glance to your right, searching for whatever it is. You must’ve misinterpreted whatever he was looking at before. “Something better than a hummingbird?”

“You could say that.”

The remainder of the time you spend together is relatively uneventful. Chrollo asks you a great deal about yourself, ranging from your hobbies to book recommendations. You try to return the favor — as is only polite, in your opinion — yet the conversation never lingers on him long before circling back to you. It isn’t until you say you feel vain talking about yourself so much that he offers some morsels of knowledge. Aside from traveling for his occupation, he’s something of an antiquarian, hence his interest in the Starling House’s event. He also reveals he has colleagues coming into town soon, the aforementioned ‘friends’ you questioned the existence of. The way he teases is so devoid of malice, you can’t bring yourself to be upset.

The hour flies by. Good looks aside, he’s a remarkable conversationalist. There’s never an awkward silence or social misstep. One could even call him perfection incarnate. His steady cadence, command of language, meticulously formed ideas… they’re reminiscent of cogs in an automaton turning together in complete harmony. Paradoxically, this immaculate image speaks to some underlying defect in his character he mustn’t want anyone to see. There is such a thing as being too perfect.

For whatever reason, this draws you in closer rather than repelling you.

Chrollo’s disappointment is palpable when he glances at his watch. It’s then you’re reminded that all good things must come to an end.

“I—”

“It—”

You both start and stop talking at the same time. When it’s made obvious you intend to stay silent until he speaks his piece, he motions to you with his hands, insisting you go first.

“It was very nice meeting you, Chrollo,” you say, your voice softening. It’s amazing how you can feel your previously discarded sheepishness returning in real-time. Amazing and annoying. “I, uh, hope you enjoy the event.”

“Please, I should be the one thanking you,” he insists. Then, for such a well-spoken man, he goes uncharacteristically quiet. Deliberating on some issue you’ll never be privy to. “You’ve already helped me a lot, but could I possibly ask for one more thing?”

You give a nod.

“May I have your phone number?”

You stare at him.

He stares at you.

You continue staring at him.

He continues staring at you.

His request echoes through your head like it was spoken in a vast cavern. Phone number… phone number... you have one of those. He is asking for it. He wants to remain in touch. Indeed, that is what the statement normally means. Ah, it must be in a platonic sense! It’s nice to have someone to talk to, especially since you both share many interests. Not many of your friends are chomping at the bit to discuss if obtaining the philosopher’s stone was a literal practice or meant to be interpreted metaphorically.

Whoops, you left the poor guy waiting for a response.

“S-Sure!”

He hands you his phone without delay. You put in your contact info, then hold it up for him to take. His fingers brush over yours when he picks it back up and you shiver.

Well, that was certainly nice. You’re forming a blossoming friendship. You love making new friends. The word repeats in your head as if it were a broken record. Friends, friends, friends. Don’t look too into this. Put your magnifying glass down, brain. The stupid three pounds of gray matter delight in tormenting you with outrageous ideas and conclusions. There’s nothing flirtatious happening here.

“Also, I hope you don’t mind my saying so…” he trails off, weaving a web you willingly allow yourself to get trapped in, “But you are very beautiful, [First].”

…

Ohhhh, he’s been flirting with you this entire time, hasn’t he?

Going on a date is a harrowing experience.

For some unknown reason, your traitorous amygdala regards going to a café at noon with the same severity it would if a lion were actively chasing you down. Your flight or fight response raises the banners of war. The army it amasses digs its trenches, readies the cannons, its matches lit to fire off the artillery on standby. Who is the dreaded opponent, one may ask? No one. Absolutely no one. Incredibly enough, you can actively recognize this fact, and still, your physiological response claims it knows better.

Social anxiety is so stupid. You thought you and your body were supposed to be on the same team. Whatever inspired this mutiny, whether it be serotonin deficiency or some other science-y term you can’t pronounce, you most certainly don’t appreciate it.

To be fair, your parent’s reaction didn’t inspire much confidence. Your dad was asking for information on Chrollo you’re 90% sure could be used to conduct a background check, whereas your mom posited the idea he’s a human trafficker. You felt like a lawyer trying to plead your case for why it’s okay that an adult such as yourself may go on a date (sacrilegious, you know, premeditated murder would be more excusable). With some solid arguments and a few instances of stretching the truth (this sounds far nicer than the word lying), the tempest was dissipated. If Chrollo ever were to meet your parents, you’ll have to tell him he’s actually a sensitive, poetic soul that donates to orphanages and saves kittens from burning down buildings. He’s also celibate. More important than any of those things, though, he’s a political centrist.

Suddenly everything in your closet either felt prudish enough to befit a woman entering the convent, or raunchy enough you’d need to wear a trench coat to leave the house unobstructed. In the end, you find a skirt that’d pass your middle school fingertip test and a cute blouse that shouldn’t land you in purgatory.

Your hands are shaking when you go to do the winged eyeliner on your left eye. Then you sneeze while applying mascara, granting a raccoon appearance you could’ve done without. You feel wound up so tight there a mere poke could shatter you into millions of pieces. This is great. Millions of years of evolution led up to this. That selfish, inconsiderate fish should’ve never grown legs and stepped on land. Everything’s gone wrong since then. Fuck that fish.

Ultimately, you succumb and take one of your ‘stage fright’ medications. If it’s doing anything to help, you can’t tell yet.

You have to beg your dad to stop staring out the window with a pair of binoculars.

Eventually, a sleek black car pulls in front of your house.

Following the theme of the day, you almost trip over yourself walking out the front door. Your phone buzzes — no doubt it’s Chrollo telling you he’s here — but you decide to just go to the car rather than text him back. He must’ve spotted you, for he exits and gives you a wave. You’re grateful he did that while a considerable distance away. There was a time a guy waved at you and you thought he wanted a high five. Needless to say, that was a traumatic incident no amount of therapy could help alleviate.

“You look absolutely lovely,” he compliments. Your Broca’s area temporarily malfunctions at this bold declaration. Fortunately, you gather yourself fast enough to stop yourself from saying “you too”.

“Thank you,” the phrase comes out as smooth as butter. You silently congratulate yourself for your immaculate delivery of two words. “Wow… you have such a nice car. And here I thought you were a fellow member of the middle class. Am I allowed to touch this?”

Chrollo chuckles, having gotten used to the peculiar way you word things after all your electronic communication. No matter how you expressed yourself, he still texted you back, so you figured he must be okay with whatever it is you’re doing. He would’ve blocked you by now otherwise.

His reply comes as he holds the passenger side door open. “Ah, don’t worry. There was a bit of a mixup at the car rental place. I wasn’t expecting something of this quality either.”

You tuck this piece of knowledge away for later, should any sugar daddy-esque allegations be thrown your way. One can never be too prepared.

Sinking into the leather seat is a luxurious experience, although it's cold against the exposed area of your thighs. Chrollo slides into the driver’s seat not long after and sets the car into drive. You silently wonder if your neighbors think you’ve gotten into an Uber.

The short trip to the café soothes your electrically fried nerves. You’re once again reminded of how good he is at making you forget your anxiety, he could put SSRIs out of business. Or maybe the propranolol is finally working. Whichever it may be, by the time you both order your drinks, you feel more giddy than nervous. Is it a good idea to drink a caffeinated beverage when anxiety threatens to drag you into limbo at any second? Probably not. Does that mean you’re going to wisely choose a different beverage? Nope.

The sunlight is harsher in the afternoon, but you find this is offset by an occasional breeze. No one else is present in the outdoor dining area except for you and Chrollo. You choose the seat facing a row of bushes so you can observe the house finches and house sparrows fluttering about. One little fella is helping itself to a dirt bath in the freshly spread-out mulch. You coo at the adorable display, pointing it out to Chrollo who admits it is a precious sight. You’ve made it your raison d'être to convince him that every bird is equally fascinating, whether it be a rainbow lorikeet or a common pigeon.

He takes the first sip of the drink you recommended.

“Well? What do you think?”

“It’s good,” he decides with a smile. “I can see why you get it so often.”

“Right? I’ve thought about conducting an Ocean’s Eleven type heist to get the ingredients they use to make it.”

“Oh? Do you grant a moral exception to thievery?”

Despite how lightheartedly he phrases this, his eyes have a certain intensity to them. You mull over the question for this reason.

“Hm… it depends, I guess? Some people need to steal to survive. I probably wouldn’t care if a rich person or mega-corporation got stolen from either,” you say. He quirks an eyebrow at your last statement and you hastily add, “A-As long as no one gets hurt, of course.”

He doesn’t bother trying to hide his amusement. “Your reasoning is very cute.”

You groan and shrink back into the garden chair. “I know, I know, that probably came off as terribly naive and self-contradictory… the issue is complex. Giving a one-size-fits-all type of consensus feels impossible. How about you? What do you think?”

“Coveting is mankind’s original sin,” Chrollo begins. He’s using a tone that tells you to prepare for an in-depth explanation. “It’s a theme that’s recurrent throughout history. David and Bathsheba, Hades and Persephone, Heathcliff and Catherine… we always want what we cannot have. This dilemma never leaves us entirely. We either ignore it, despair in it, or succumb to it. The desire to steal is as involuntary as the diaphragm contracting for us to breathe or the electric signals that cause our heart to beat.”

A house finch begins its soulful serenade in the background.

“Wouldn’t you say that calling it involuntary implies we can’t control it, though?” You query.

“The only way to exercise total control over it is to kill it.”

“Some parts of us are better off dead,” you decide. “Getting what you want doesn’t guarantee satisfaction. The examples you listed… maybe they were happy for a time, but ultimately, their transgressions caught up to them.”

“Is a moment of bliss not worth a lifetime of anguish?”

“Maybe, if I was a sensualist.”

He rests his chin on his fist, the skin beneath his eyes crinkling with mirth. “Is that what you’re saying I am, darling?”

Your eyes widen and you almost choke on your drink at the unexpected pet name. Warmth floods your cheeks and you take a long second to recompose yourself. Your blatant display of embarrassment further fuels his amusement, he actually chuckles. You consider kicking him under the table, but decide that isn’t very ladylike. Then you remember it's the twenty-first century, and to honor your feminist ancestors, you scrunch up a napkin into a ball and fling it at him. Although the aerodynamics of your makeshift projectile are questionable, it almost hits him. Until he catches it with admittedly impressive reflexes.

“You have a good throwing arm.”

“And you should consider retiring from your white-collar job to join a baseball team,” you take a sip of your delicious drink. This is definitely the most memorable date you’ve been on. “But no, I don’t think you’re a sensualist. I honestly don’t know how I’d classify you. You’re jaded… almost misanthropic. You acknowledge the world for what it is, but it’s like you once thought it could be better. You don’t care to be proven right or wrong about it anymore, you want something else.”

“Ah… when put that way, I must seem pathetic,” he muses, his casual air hardly matching the severity of the words spoken.

“Not at all!” Your passionate outcry appears to momentarily take him aback. “If you’re still looking for something, that means deep down, you have hope you might eventually find it. To me, that’s admirable.”

He regards you for a few moments, before closing his eyes, his countenance strangely content. “You’re a very interesting woman, [First].”

“Pfft, not really.”

“I’m afraid this a point I’ll have to insist on,” or so he says, but you both know he secretly relishes his contrarian ways. “I have to wonder, though. How is it you came to gather any of this about me?”

“Your opinion on books.”

He blinks. “Pardon?”

“We interpret media through a lens that’s formed by our experiences, so… I dunno. You can just infer a lot from what a person gets caught up with in a story.”

In Chrollo’s case, what he doesn’t pay attention to is equally telling, although it took you a while to notice his unique display of apathy. He’d brush on certain themes while giving a rather surface-level commentary. Playing it safe, almost. He still had such an excellent way of weaving his words, that telling it came from another person's loom was difficult. It wasn’t until you hit on a subject he truly cared for that you could tell the difference. He’d give insights so particular to him that they must contain the true essence of his character.

Even if it is a mere glimmer.

He speaks your name.

“Hm?”

“About what I’m searching for…” he unwraps the napkin you unceremoniously threw his way earlier, smooths out the wrinkles, then returns it. “I think I may have found it.”

Everything has a way of escalating faster than you anticipated.

You’re about thirty minutes into the movie Perfect Blue. For some time now, you’ve been praising its merits to Chrollo, who recently said you should watch it together. This begged the question of where. In the months since you’ve begun dating, while your parents have taken a liking to him, you didn’t think the subject matter of the movie should be proudly displayed in your living room.

To remedy this, Chrollo suggested watching it in his hotel room.

You couldn’t fully explain your initial apprehension if you tried. You felt comfortable around him and have been alone together plenty. Yet for some reason, being alone with a man in a hotel room produced this mental image you weren’t sure you were ready for. He never pushed you or asked why you seemed hesitant to take things further than kissing and some light petting. His lack of questioning had the unintended side effect of birthing different doubts.

Does he not want anything else? Is he only acting like it doesn’t bother him? Will a day come when he tires of your squeamishness and simply moves on?

It’s this taunting mantra that haunted you in the lobby, the elevator, then the long, impersonal hallway to his room.

Your chest feels heavy enough that you wonder if lead has filled your lungs.

When he sat next to you on the couch, you barely registered his presence, much less his question if the temperature in the room felt agreeable. At some point, his arm wrapped around your shoulders. Then his hand began to meander, although his attention never left the screen. He played with your hair. Gently stroked your forearm. His hand wandered down, down, down, to the hem of your skirt. He straightens the lightly bunched fabric out. Your heart pounds.

Chrollo’s fingers stay there, seemingly placated.

During the scene where Mima sees her reflection as her idol persona, his hand creeps onto the exposed skin of your thighs. He gives it a gentle, tentative squeeze. A soft gasp leaves you and your attention turns to him. Immediately, your eyes meet his in the dark. The side of his face is lightly illuminated by an array of cool tones. He uses his free hand to cup your chin, the pad of his thumb rubbing your lower lip.

“Can I kiss you?”

He speaks the question with such rapture, low and quiet.

Your heart violently hits your ribcage like it’s trying to burst free.

Silently, you nod. He tilts his head to the side and slots his lips against yours. There’s a pleasant buzz that tries so hard to overpower the frantic adrenaline pumping through your veins. Your body is at war with itself; indulgence or indignance. It’s a conflict that’ll never have a winner. You want to enjoy it — and you are, you think — so why does your biological makeup hold you as a prisoner without ransom? He tastes nice, feels nice. He did everything right. You don’t want to tremble at what’s a normal aspect of a relationship as if it were death itself hanging over your head.

It’s this mounting frustration at your condition that spurs you into action.

While maintaining the languid kiss, you situate yourself on his lap, a gesture that causes him to inhale sharply. He may be as surprised at your boldness as you are. You snake your arms around his neck and intensify the kiss. Humming, he reciprocates your ardor. His tongue runs along the seam of your lips and you grant him entry. He tastes of dark chocolate and mint, a combination you wish you could get drunk on, if only to put your tense body at ease.

One hand squeezes and massages your thigh, the other cups your feverish face. In this position, you’re afforded no modesty. You can feel your skirt hiking up, exposing more of you. His fingers explore the new territory. They venture dangerously close to your panties, though he doesn’t go beyond there, as if respecting an invisible barrier. The cocktail of emotions this invokes is impossible to properly sort through.

Can he feel the heat emanating from your body? Your pulse which finds new highs every minute? You want to lose yourself, but you can’t, your anxiety always drags you back kicking and screaming. It is an unforgiving warden that thinks you’d be better off in a cell.

Chrollo admires you when you pull back, in desperate need of air. You’re starting to feel dizzy and you don’t know if it’s the right kind. There’s something hard forming beneath where you sit. His lust for you is apparent, and you want to please, want to be normal. It should be fun. Your friends regale you with stories of taking strangers home and never feeling more than butterflies in their stomach. That’s what you want. Not this contortion of the aforementioned organ that makes you think your insides are slowly liquifying.

You still haven’t fully caught your breath, each one growing more shallow, more panicked. He finds other ways to entertain himself, namely, by lavishing your clammy skin with kisses. Your jawline, neck, then collarbone. He’s so calm you think you might be envious. Finally, he works his way back up, teasing your earlobe with his teeth, his breath warm as it fans against you.

Thump, thump, thump.

“[First],” his voice sounds like it’s coming from underwater. Garbled, distant. “Should we take this to the bedroom?”

You break into too many shards to fix.

You get up. Straighten your skirt. You think you mutter something about needing a moment. Your legs don’t feel right. They move anyway. The bathroom’s door knob is like ice. You grab a hand towel. Turn on the faucet. Soak the towel until it drips water down the sink basin. Sit on the floor. The tiles are almost as cold enough to help. You place the towel around your neck. Your ears are ringing and you wish they’d stop. You hug your legs to your chest. What is it you’re supposed to do? Breathe?

It’ll pass, it’ll pass, it’ll pass.

It always does.

Just hold on a bit longer.

Feeling comes back in your hands first. It spreads throughout your body, though the antidote is far too late. Exhaustion is the next thing you register. The kind that seeps into your cells, makes your limbs feel like dead weight. Cognition returns as well. You remember where you are, who you’re with, what you’ve done.

It’s been a while since you’ve experienced one of these. Somehow, it’s worse than you remember. Infinitely worse.

A shiver runs down your spine. Has it always been so cold? You wonder what temperature your body was running at for you not to have noticed sooner.

How nice it is that your homeostasis decided to return. Is your sympathetic nervous system giving itself a pat on the back? Celebrating and popping champagne bottles at yet another job well done? We’ve done it successfully again, folks, you imagine it cheering. We’ve stopped her from doing something completely normal and harmless!

You’d laugh, but this time, you can’t bring yourself to.

As tempting as it is to stay here and pray for the tile floor to swallow you whole, you sincerely doubt that’ll happen, so you’re left with the far less appealing option of being an adult and facing the predicament you’re in. Getting back up, you’re treated to a glimpse of your reflection.

The change in your complexion would make any onlooker think you’ve seen a ghost.

Abruptly, you’re fourteen again, trying to get your mom’s attention so you can beg her to take you home because the social gathering of ten or so people is just too much. Next, you’re fifteen, talked into some weekend youth getaway because saying ‘no’ makes you feel guilty and the car ride has another two hours remaining. You feel sick, terribly sick, but you don’t want to get sick, because then your peers would think you’re strange, so you sit there and endure. Then you’re sixteen, locked in the stall of your high school bathroom, trying not to pass out because you think it’d be an inconvenience to anyone that happened upon you.

You thought you were over this. You’ve done the therapy, read the self-help books, and taken your medication every day like clockwork.

What’s left for you to do?

Why does it always come back?

Chrollo asks if everything’s alright when you walk back over to the couch. You say yes. He then asks if he can get you anything. A glass of water, please, is your reply.

You can tell he’s examining you when he hands the glass over. Your face warms — not in a fun way. The television screen is dark and yet you’re fixated on it like it’s the most intriguing thing in the world. Going from feeling as if you’re a stranger in your own body to being hyper-aware of everything never fails to give you whiplash. You can hear the low thrum of the air conditioning, footsteps coming from the hallway, the steady drip of the sink he filled your glass from. You think to rub your eyes then stop yourself; that’d smudge your mascara. It’d be nice if he could at least think you’re pretty as you struggle to hold yourself together.

“Was it something I did?” Chrollo questions. He almost sounds… curious, a concept you furiously scrub from your head. You’re exhausted and your brain is waving the white flag. Attributing false interpretations to his words is not going to help.

“N-No, not at all, I, um,” you have the words, you just don’t want to say them, so you opt for taking another drink instead. The glass runs out of water, your safe haven disappearing with it. “Just… a panic attack. It happens… sometimes.”

“Entirely unprompted?”

You gnaw on your lower lip. “Kind of…? It— nothing about it is exactly logical. I can know I’m fine, believe it too, and still, that doesn’t matter. It’ll happen anyway. I guess I have some reservations about that level of physical intimacy, but what my body decides to do is completely overkill.”

“You always minimize the role your anxiety plays in your life,” Chrollo points out. You’re grasping the glass tight enough that your knuckles hurt. “You can’t mention it to me without making light of it in some way. Is there a reason for that?”

Well, he’s got you there.

You’re about to joke and ask if he’s the one studying the behavioral sciences, when you realize that’d just be proving his point.

So uncharacteristic acrimony bubbles to the surface instead.

“A reason? I can give you more than one. It’s stupid, it’s annoying. The most simple things become like a fucking life or death experience for me and I can’t stand it,” you feel tears gather at your lower lashline but you’re too far gone to care. It’s a good thing your mascara is waterproof. “And then I… I think sex sounds nice, but when it actually gets to the moment, I feel so guilty and anxious and wrong that I leave my partner frustrated or thinking they’re some sort of monster.”

Usually, Chrollo's countenance is difficult to read, but there’s this raw emotion that makes itself known. Understanding? Relief? You don’t know for certain. It disappears without a trace, leaving you no way to confirm or deny your intuition. It’s probably too fried to be reliable, anyway.

“Hm… you must think all this would put me off, then. Make me want to move on to someone else.”

A knife stabbing you in the gut and twisting its blade until your viscera turned to mush would hurt less.

“Sweetheart, I was already aware that it was worse than what you let on,” his voice sounds so kind and near, you marvel at it, the gravitational pull drawing you in. You barely realize he’s brought you into an embrace. Your cheek is against his chest, right above his heart. His has a calm, steady rhythm, whereas yours is picking back up once more. “Your avoidance of talking on the phone, how soft your voice gets when interacting with strangers, the way you act like you’re an inconvenience by asking for the slightest assistance.”

The tears you tried holding in break free, soaking into the fabric of his shirt.

“I find these qualities of yours very endearing. You can go from passionately speaking about your interests over dinner to going shy the second the waiter walks over. You care so much, feel so much… it’s a wonder to me. You experience this life in the exact opposite manner I do.”

With the hand he isn’t using to keep you secure against him, he rubs your back up and down.

“Ah, my poor, sweet girl. What a tender heart you have,” he whispers. His grip on you tightens. That’s when you hear it — the undeniable sound of his heart beating a bit faster than it did before. “I wouldn’t give it up for anything. Not after all the effort I put into stealing it for myself. No, I’m almost hurt you entertained the thought. Have I ever treated you with anything less than the utmost care? Hm?”

Chrollo starts to pull you away from him, yet you refuse, clinging adamantly to his torso in an attempt to hide your face. He ignores the way you shake your head and by exerting the slightest force, achieves his original goal. His fingers find purchase on your chin, which he tilts upward, allowing himself an unobscured view of your puffy eyes and runny makeup. He smiles, wiping away your tears with such gentleness, he must think you’re made of porcelain.

Sniffling, you remember he asked you a question, and attempt cobbling together a coherent response. Such is the polite thing to do. “I guess not.”

“And why do you think that is?”

“... The once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to conduct an in-depth case study for your future dissertation on GAD and SAD?”

His visage lands somewhere between mild bemusement and exacerbation. “I know you’re smarter than that. Try again.”

“My winning personality, once you wade through all the mental illness?”

“That certainly plays a role.”

“I know I’m cute, too. I suppose that helps. Otherwise, I’d be completely and utterly fucked.”

“Yes, yes — you are terribly cute.”

Sensing your hesitancy to land on a definitive answer, he decides to spell it out himself. “I’m fond of you, to a degree I previously thought myself incapable of. I have a… callous disposition, for lack of a better word. Yet for whatever reason, this doesn’t seem to bother you. I’ve never cared for subjective terms like ‘good’ or ‘evil’, but… if there is goodness in this world, it’d be found in you.”

Chrollo’s knuckles brush against your cheekbone as he speaks, seemingly bewitched by the glittering stream your tears left behind. Tangible proof of your emotions that tumult like a tempest, whereas his often remains an unmoving body of water.

You take his cheeks in your hands and glare at him. This time, when your lower lip trembles, it’s with righteous anger, not sorrow. “Why do you always talk about yourself like you’re the world’s biggest villain?”

His eyes slightly widen — you’ve never used a tone like this with him before, or anyone else, for that matter — though his composure doesn’t wane for long.

“So what if you don’t think everything is sunshine and rainbows? You aren’t heartless; you just know the dangers of putting your heart on display for everyone else to see. I can’t blame you for that, from what you’ve told me.”

He’s never been particularly forthcoming about sharing details from his past. What you do know is that he grew up in extreme poverty, without parents or a guardian, scraping by with some other children in a similar situation. You never pushed to learn more. There was this quiet melancholy that possessed him in the rare moments he shared glimpses of his childhood. The specters that haunted him could almost be felt lingering in the atmosphere, turning the air heavy and thick.

“You lost a precious friend in such a cruel way. That loss of innocence, it’s unforgivable, it’s completely unfair…!”

This time, your tears aren’t for you, they’re for a little boy you’ll never know and a girl that you couldn’t if you tried. “I don’t get why you’re so harsh on yourself. You act like you’ve done something unforgivable.”

He parts and closes his lips. Whatever he intended to say, he must’ve decided against it. Instead, he pulls you back against him, almost greedily. He presses kisses atop your head then murmurs a few words you can’t quite catch. Your body is deprived of energy, having flickered through almost every major emotion a human being can experience. If your parents wouldn’t have fussed over the act, you could’ve fallen asleep on him for the night.

The person who inadvertently caused your blistering anxiety is also the best balm for it.

It’s unexplainable, teetering on the edge of delusion, this sentiment that he could shield you from all harm. He’s always so sure of himself when you remain plagued by indecisiveness. He can talk you out of any irrational thought, anchor you when a stressful situation is beginning to be too much, and understand you almost eerily well. He’s able to piece together your chaotic thought processes with next to no context. He listens to you, remembers everything you say (and you mean everything), and genuinely values your input, even if he disagrees with your opinions.

This level of an intimate connection is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.

“No one’s ever cried for my sake before,” he thinks aloud. He’s stroking your back again, almost mindlessly. You swear there’s something magical about his touch.

“Do you think I’m weird?”

“There are a lot of words I’d use to describe you,” he decides. As always, he’s clever at avoiding questions he doesn’t wish to answer. “Currently, the one that stands out to me the most would be…”

You feel his lips curl into a smile against you.

“Warm.”

The arboretum is far different in autumn. Green leaves have transitioned into rich auburn and golden shades, hesitant buds nowhere to be seen. The grass beneath your feet is crunchier, the foliage dry and scattered, almost as if it were trying to form a protective sheath for the earth. No longer can you hear the melody of grasshoppers and buzzing from busy bees. The wind whistles when it blows, the underlying frostiness biting at your cheeks and ears.

“Ah, would you look at that, it’s a junco,” Chrollo points out. You cover your mouth to muffle a gasp. Thanks in part to your guidance, he’s gotten better at identifying different types of birds. While you’d like to think it’s because he appreciates them too, you’re convinced he finds your excited reaction far more interesting.

The little blob of black and white hops to and fro, using its feet to rummage for anything edible. You silently lament your lack of birdseed. You’ll have to settle for cheering the tiny friend on from afar.

Hand in hand, you both traverse the area of your original meeting. Sweet nostalgia swirls in your chest. You’ve always found it befuddling how a single chance encounter can permanently change the trajectory of your life. In the moment, you have no idea how your actions will go on to form ripples that influence the future. Whether this is chaos theory or some other fancy metaphysical-sounding concept, you haven’t the slightest clue.

What you do know is that meeting Chrollo was a catalyst for something greater.

A wave of chills cascades over you.

“Are you cold?” He inquires, his tone having this ‘I told you so’ quality to it that you don’t appreciate. You’re wearing a light beige, plaid fitted blazer, that while chic, doesn’t have much insulation. You waved off his initial concern by saying you’ll warm up once you both get to walking around. So much for that.

“Cold is a mindset,” the chattering of your teeth doesn’t do much to help your cause. He raises an eyebrow. “Mind over matter… mind over matter…”

Chrollo shrugs his coat off and drapes it over you. “I wouldn’t want you to get sick, dear.”

“You sound like my grandma.”

“The one who tried taking my head wrappings off, or the one who kicked me?”

“A combination of the two that coalesces their tendency to fuss over me.”

“You’re very easy to fuss over,” Chrollo chuckles at the face you make at him. “You’re absolutely precious. It’s a mystery to me how you make the smallest acts endearing.”

At this, you strike a dumb pose, winking at him all the while. “Aha, it’s no mystery. You have my irresistible charm to thank for that.”

He sighs wistfully. “Indeed I do.”

Although the sage gardens behind the Starling House are no longer in bloom, you decide to swing by anyway. The plans for the remainder of your day follow a similarly simple yet pleasant precedent. You’re going to go window shopping in a quaint commercial district, grab something to eat at a pub, then end the night off with a movie. Chrollo’s trying to convince you to watch some indie flick that’s in black and white and uses a 1.19:1 ratio. You want to watch Alien, a classic he’s never seen like the weirdo he is.

The walk isn’t long or monotonous. It’s so idyllic that you could believe you’re the only two people in the world.

However, that isn’t the case. Upon entering the garden, you’re quick to note the presence of another.

A young woman is kneeling down, murmuring under her breath. She’s acting as if she’s lost something and can’t find it. Frowning, you detach yourself from Chrollo, approaching her with the intent to offer your assistance. She doesn’t lift her head upon hearing the obvious sounds of your footfall. She just continues blindly grasping at the ground.

“Miss?” You ask, to which her entire body freezes. “Did you drop something? I could help you look for it.”

She mutters another incomprehensible jumble of words.

“Hm? What was that?”

You lean over in an attempt to hear her better.

Then, much to your confusion, she enunciates your full-given name. Even while doing this, she doesn’t spare you a single glance.

“Have to… have to…” she’s back to being difficult to make sense of, “I have to…”

A strange sensation possesses you.

Have you met this woman somewhere before? You do a quick mental scan of her disheveled appearance and come up with nothing definitive. Her hair is matted, her complexion sallow and her cheeks sunken in. Her disoriented state stirs concern within you. It’s a good sign that she’s still conscious and exhibiting motor functions, but the longer you examine her, the more you can tell she isn’t in a proper state of mind. You don’t want to leave her out here alone in such a vulnerable state. You try to push aside the uncanny feeling that came from her apparently recognizing you when you’re certain you’ve never met.

Chrollo speaks your name. Turning around, you face him just in time to catch a surreal expression forming on his countenance. His eyes widen slightly, his lips part, then he’s reaching out for you.

The passage of time grinds temporarily to a halt.

And then there is a visceral burst of energy.

It’s as if a blizzard manifests from the direction the woman is hunched over in. There’s this thick, harrowing tension that causes your legs to buckle at the knees. Swirls of negative emotions wrap around you in shadowy tendrils. Grief. Hysteria. Rage. Bitterness. Most notable, however, is the sickening yearning to inflict harm. How can a human being produce and project such raw feelings? It’s like hatred itself has been given a palpable form, submerging you in a swamp of mire.

You don’t understand what’s happening to you, but you do have this primal foreboding that the longer you’re exposed to it, the more endangered you’ll be.

In the millisecond it takes for you to blink, Chrollo is no longer in your line of sight.

It’s strange, you think. There are no knives, guns, explosives; or anything that could hurt you in the traditional sense. In a way you could understand and reliably assess the threat level of.

And still, despite this uncertainty, you have this unshakable premonition that death isn’t far away.

You wake up in a bed that is not your own.

Your body is drenched in sweat, your muscles sore, and your head feels as if it’s being clamped in a vice-like grip. Trying to get up proves to be a poor decision. Nausea and dizziness force you to lie back down. You take shallow, frantic breaths, wincing at yet another wave of throbbing coming from your temples. Your senses aren’t reliable either. The first few times you open your eyes, dark spots dot your vision. Then there’s your hearing, or lack of. There’s this distant ringing that while slowly fading, isn’t replaced by anything better. Your hearing grows so muffled you almost think earplugs have been jammed in your ear canal.

Groaning, you manage to lift yourself off the mattress with trembling arms. The dark spots fade away enough for you to make out your surroundings.

You’re in Chrollo’s hotel room, lying on his bed.

It’s nighttime. The digital clock sitting on the bedside table reads 3:40 a.m.

The next thing you do is feel around for your phone. It should be in the back pocket of your jeans, but it isn’t there.

The brisk air takes your breath away when you tug the comforter off. Your body groans with protest at all the movement, yet you ignore its request to lay back down, the situation at hand far too perplexing. Your outfit is the same as the one you put on this morning, aside from your boots, which sit together near the wall. You then assess your body for any physical injuries, finding nothing visible to explain your current malaise. Are you hungover? Frowning, you dismiss the idea. You know your tolerance well and never try pushing it.

Taking small steps and using the wall as leverage, you make your way over to the adjoined bathroom. You fill a dental cup with water and down it instantly. After satiating your thirst, you call out for Chrollo, your voice gravelly with sleep.

No response.

Sighing, you slink over to the closed bedroom door. Your equilibrium steadies itself enough that you only need to grab onto something every few steps. The handle doesn’t budge. You try again, exerting more force — still nothing. The subsequent attempts end in the same manner. There’s no denying it, it’s been locked. That begs the question of why. Safety, maybe? It’s possible Chrollo stepped out for whatever reason and wanted to ensure no one could get to you. Then again, that’s what the deadbolt on the door leading to the hotel hallway is for.

You don’t want to start rattling the door and making a scene when you’re certain there’s a solid explanation for this. He has to come back eventually, his stuff is still here. Although, you can’t help noticing how sparse his personal belongings are. The book he was reading no longer sits on the bedside table, the framed picture of the two of you gifted by your parents isn’t on the wardrobe either. Next, you check the closet, finding it in a similarly desolate state. You once pillaged a shirt of his when you grew tired of wearing a dress, so you know its usual presentation. The hangers remain on the rack yet everything else is gone.

Chrollo told you his job had placed him in this city indefinitely. Is he planning to move to another hotel?

Not knowing what else to do, you sit on the edge of the bed. The former pounding in your head has soothed into a far less egregious dull ache. You must’ve been asleep for a decent chunk of time, this initial grogginess is what you experience upon first waking up in the morning. You hope you weren’t unconscious for too long. It's an unsettling thought, being in that vulnerable state, totally shut off from the world.

A few minutes of absentmindedly admiring the twinkling lights that make up the city skyline’s pass.

Then you hear the door handle jingle.

Chrollo silently examines you. It’s almost as if he’s gauging your entire being, anticipating what is to come. His mouth is set in a straight line and he’s standing unnervingly still. There’s this intensity to him that has you breaking off eye contact. Your mouth goes dry and you temporarily forget how to form words. You had so many burning questions in his absence, why is it that they've been wiped clean from your head now that he’s here?

When you find the courage to look up at him again, there’s not a vestige of his former expression. The grave lines have smoothened out and you no longer believe you’re face to face with a stranger.

“How are you feeling?” He’s quick to close the distance. The mattress dips, adjusting to his presence by your side.

“Oh, uh, not the best, but… I don’t think it’s anything serious,” you say. Silvery moonlight shines into the room, illuminating him in an otherworldly veil. Goosebumps line your skin when he takes the side of your face into his hand. He’s cold. “I’m mostly just confused. Is— is everything okay? Why am I here?”

“How much do you remember?”

Remember, remember… that’s right, you hadn’t given that much thought. You pick through your hazy memories aloud. “Well, we were at the arboretum, just walking around. I remember heading to the gardens behind the Starling House. Then… um…”

You squint and furrow your eyebrows together. It’s as if your recollection was a film reel that had been trimmed after that point. You try piecing together a mental image of the garden. Hummingbirds? Sage? No, that isn’t right, you’re thinking of its spring appearance. The colors would be more muted, there’d be less shrubbery. The image grows sharper.

Then there’s a shadow.

Vaguely human-shaped, situated right in the middle of the mosaic you’re trying to form. Their outline isn’t solid, it’s splotchy, like water paint left to run on a canvas.

Finally, something clicks.

“That woman!” You exclaim. The corner of his lips twitch downward. “That’s right! Is she okay? She seemed so out of it.”

“I’m not sure.”

“How is that possible? You were—”

“Let’s focus on you for now,” he cuts you off. There’s a finality in his voice you can’t bring yourself to challenge. “Can you tell me what symptoms you’re experiencing?”

“Um, some disorientation and a headache.”

“I see. I’ll get you some painkillers, then.”

You grab his wrist to stop him when he starts getting up. “I’d really prefer you told me what happened first.”

When he doesn’t immediately acquiesce to your request, you quietly add, “Please.”

His eyes soften at your gentle, uncertain timbre. He intertwines his fingers with yours and gives your hand an encouraging squeeze.

“Earlier, when we arrived at the garden, you grew lightheaded and fainted.”

You take a moment to process the information. It seems plausible enough, yet the more you mull over it, the more little details start to catch your attention.

“Okay…” you trail off, pursing your lips. A vengeful throb from your head causes you to wince. He notices — frowns — then places a featherlight kiss against your forehead. The thoughtful gesture doesn’t invoke any pleasant warm fuzzy sensations. “So I fell unconscious for over ten hours and you didn’t… call an ambulance…?”

“That is correct.”

You shuffle in your seat, momentarily taken aback at how easygoing he’s acting about the entire ordeal. “Why?”

“I’ve been monitoring your vitals,” he reassures. Sensing your growing apprehension, he adds, “I can promise that you were never in serious danger. I would’ve acted accordingly if you were.”

The phrase ‘acted accordingly’ doesn’t tell you much either. What does he mean by that? Is there some threshold you needed to enter for him to have taken you to the hospital? Your various volunteer experiences with the city’s vulnerable communities taught you that if a person is unresponsive for over a minute, an ambulance should be called, just to be on the safe side. Besides, isn’t that just common sense? Chrollo is an intelligent man. You can’t fathom any line of reasoning that’d justify not erring on the side of caution.

You glance at the clock again. 4:03 a.m. glows in the dim light of the room. It’s late. You wonder what your parents—

Holy shit.

“Do my mom and dad know?” You glance around as if expecting to find them. There’s no way they wouldn’t have insisted on calling emergency services if you were unconscious for that long.

“I didn’t inform them, no.”

“What?” You make no attempts to tone down your incredulity. “Then— they must be out of their minds with worry! My phone, where’s my phone? I need to tell them I’m okay!”

You shoot up off the bed too fast and your body doesn’t take kindly to the rushed movement. Debilitating lightheadedness causes you to lose your balance. Chrollo steadies your swaying form and helps sit you back down. You scoot away from him as far as you can, your thoughts an absolute mess. Nothing here is making sense. It’s not even a puzzle that’s missing a few pieces, there’s almost nothing to work with at all.

He’s staring at you in that strange, anticipatory manner again. It makes your stomach churn.

“My phone, Chrollo,” you hold your hand out. “There’s no way you don’t have it.”

“I’m afraid I can’t give it to you,” he sounds apologetic too, which makes your subsequent temper flare up even worse.

“What is wrong with you?” You hiss, exasperation winning out. You were trying to be reasonable, but that is over and done with. “You’re acting like— like there’s nothing weird happening! Can you please take this seriously? You’re really starting to freak me out.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me. I knew this wouldn’t be easy for you, so I wanted to remain calm for your sake.”

Your tongue couldn’t properly form words if your life depended on it. Sure, remaining calm in a crisis is helpful, but he isn’t acting like this is a crisis. He’s treating it as if he was burdened with sitting you down to relay bad news that no one else had the heart to share.

You’re starting to think you don’t know the person you’re talking to.

“For my sake,” you repeat in a wry deadpan. “If that’s true, then tell me what’s actually going on, Chrollo. Because I know you’re bullshitting me.”

Not calling the ambulance or informing your parents, withholding your phone… then there’s the matter of how he got you here in the first place. Did he carry you through the lobby? No good samaritans thought it was unusual to see a man carrying an unconscious woman up to his room? Hotel staff these days are trained to have a vigilant eye for these situations too. Not one person thought it might be a good idea to ring up law enforcement over such a blatantly suspicious act?

Nothing is adding up.

“I’m being more forthcoming than you think,” Chrollo says, as if he’s doing you a favor. He tries reaching out for your hand again, only this time, you don’t allow him. “Everything I’ve said and intend to say is the truth, even if you don’t particularly like it.”

That’s a hell of a creative way of putting it!

“Who was that woman earlier? What did she do to me?”

“I have someone ironing out the details, but from what I’ve gathered, she was sent with the intention of killing you. I don’t believe she was aware of the fact herself until you entered her vicinity, triggering the necessary condition for the true culprit’s ability to activate. Otherwise, I certainly wouldn’t have allowed you to get so close.”

Someone was sent to kill you? You? A run-of-the-mill college student who has no enemies to speak of? It’s not like you’re a part of the fucking mob. That can’t be right, not to mention the bizarre jargon he’s using. There’d be no plausible motive. If he says she was sent, and you choose to believe he isn’t making this all up, that implies it was premeditated. Not a spur-of-the-moment decision. That’d almost make more sense.

That is, unless…

You stare at him, eyebrows knitting together.

“If you’re telling the truth — and right now, that’s a big fucking if — does this have something to do with you?”

“That’s my clever girl,” he praises, entirely devoid of condescension. The pure fondness in his voice makes you sick. It’s almost as if he’s delighting in watching you piece this nightmare together. “Yes, you haven’t deliberately done anything to earn the wrath of the wrong people. They simply know getting to me is near impossible, hence their decision to go for the next best thing instead. That’d be you, dear.”

“Oh my god,” you bury your head in your hands. “Why… why am I not freaking out more? I should be hysterical, or, or— I don’t know…”

“Beta blockers,” he reveals. You look at him like he’s speaking another language. “In anticipation of how… touchy this conversation was going to be, I thought it might be best for you to be in a good headspace while receiving this information for the first time.”

“You drugged me?”

“If that’s how you want to look at it.”

“Because that’s how it is!”

A lump forms in your throat and lodges itself there. Are you stuck in a hellacious dream? Or hallucinating, perhaps? Visual hallucinations aren’t supposed to be this cohesive or clear. There has to be another explanation. Something you’re missing that’d make this all go away. The beta blocker admission certainly holds weight. Your heart rate, while slightly elevated, isn’t anywhere near as chaotic as it should be. It’d explain the general malaise, fatigue, and lightheadedness too. That, and you doubt you’d be able to think this clearly if there wasn’t something heavy pumping through your system.

Your eyes hesitantly settle on Chrollo, who sits there perfectly still and almost relaxed. He’s observing you like a hawk.

“Listen,” you try using a mellower voice. He raises an eyebrow at your drastically different approach. “You had ample opportunity to hurt me and you didn’t. That must mean you have my best intentions at heart, right? Why don’t we try to work something out, because this isn’t sustainable. My absence isn’t going to go unnoticed.”

Chrollo sighs, heavy if not unsurprised. “Sweetheart, I’m not suffering a break from reality, although I’m sure you’d prefer to rationalize it that way. I assure you I’m lucid and everything I’ve done is intentional. You’ll come to accept it eventually.”

It isn’t going to help, yet you feel your remaining grains of patience slip through your fingers.

“What’s this talk about a ‘condition’ and ‘ability’, then?” You challenge.

“Ah, I was wondering when you’d mention that,” he doesn’t sound like you landed on a reason that’d prove him wrong. “How to explain it… you once told me you think there are phenomena in this world that can’t be explained by empirical evidence. Consider this an example of that. I’m sure you must’ve felt it before you fainted. An intense, concentrated sensation that awoke your primordial fear. Bloodlust.”

You want to argue until you run out of breath, but this description does strike a chord. Reality itself feels as if it’s drifting further and further away. In an awfully cruel twist, Chrollo and his collected disposition is the most grounding factor you have to latch onto.

“I’m sure it’s a lot to take in,” he finally replaces that matter-of-fact tone with something resembling compassion, “But know this: you’re not in any danger. Neither are those you care about, so long as you act sensible.”

Shivering, you hug your arms around your chest. “How can you say that to me so easily? I thought… I thought you…”

He’s enveloping you from behind. You didn’t even see him move. Weakly, you struggle against his hold, but you’re not in any condition to put up a fight. In the event you were, it’s doubtful it’d make much of a difference. He’s strong. It goes beyond physical strength, into some esoteric realm you’ve become forcibly acquainted with. He’s exerting this slight pressure that makes your heart skip a beat, despite the medication. It isn’t comparable to what you experienced in the garden — there’s no malice — it feels more like a warning.

“You’re surprisingly sensitive to Nen,” he murmurs, humming contentedly when you go limp against him. His chin rests atop your head and his arms ensnare your midriff. “How interesting. No matter. Whatever your fascinating brain concocted is still true. You may think me merciless, but if you knew me, you’d find this to be my greatest act of mercy yet.”

“I thought I did know you,” is your weak reply. You don’t recognize the sound of your voice.

“The parts of me I wanted to show you, yes,” he moves your hair aside so he can press a kiss to the nape of your neck. “And a few glimpses you gleaned in your own way. Really, you are such a sweet girl. Willing to overlook discrepancies to see the ‘good’ in me.”

Heat rises and ignites on your cheeks. “I-I could scream, you know.”

“You could.”

That’s not the reaction you were expecting.

“You’re… not going to try and stop me?”

“No,” he responds. “I’ve always found experience to be the best teacher.”

“You really,” you heave a humorless laugh, uncertain of what else to do, “You really don’t see anything wrong with this?”

He nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck, marveling at how your pulse remains steady, thanks to his intervention.

“‘So long as I can say I helped one person, that’s good enough for me.’”

“What?”

“It’s what you said the first day I met you,” Chrollo explains, nostalgia evident. “I’ve thought about those words often. Your effulgence, your desire to do right by others. It made me wonder if there could ever be anyone more perfect for me than you. You, whose pretty neck I could snap before you’d ever realize what happened, stirred up a sentimentality in me I thought myself incapable of.”

Sandalwood, amber, and leather. His scent is the same as that day.

Are his intentions?

Is this a prophecy he himself ordained and always intended to see fulfilled?

“You stole my heart, and as recompense, I will steal you. Think whatever you want about me, dear. Just don’t think I’m selfless enough to ever change my mind.”

#chrollo x reader #chrollo lucilfer x reader #yandere chrollo x reader #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #chrollo lucilfer #yandere hxh x reader #not sfw #my stuff

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goldenroutledge · 6 months

Text

sweet dreams

pairing ⤜ rafe cameron x fem!reader

word count ⤜ 2.0k

summary ⤜ distance makes the great grow fonder, and when it comes to you & rafe, distance keeps you both awake at night.

warnings ⤜ mentions of anxiety, insomnia

a/n ⤜ i was looking through old requests and randomly got this idea. hope you like it :)

rafe cameron masterlist

“And remember, separate rooms, you two.” Ward reminds you both, but his words are obviously directed at Rafe by the look he gave to his son.

“Yeah, yeah isn’t that Rose honking outside?”

“I’m serious, Rafe.” His expression softens slightly as Ward gives you a slight smile. “Keep this one out of trouble for me while I’m gone?”

“I’ll do my best, Mr. Cameron.”

Ward and Rose were headed to the Bahamas for their anniversary, and it took enough convincing for Ward to let you stay with Rafe as it was.

His reasoning being that Wheezie was impressionable at her age, and wanted to keep the rules clear for when her day would come. As if Ward had no experience in making exceptions for one child over another, but Rafe was never on the right side of things.

That said, Rafe always thought this was Ward’s way of exercising control over him. Ensuring he wouldn’t forget that he was bound to Ward’s rules as long as he lived in Ward’s house.

You didn’t mind it as much as Rafe did, trying to keep his spirits up, since you’d still be the first person he’d see in the morning and the last person he’d see at night.

“It’s a stupid rule, we’re both adults. But I appreciate you trying to be politically correct for my father.” Rafe mumbles, pressing his lips to the side of your forehead gently, your fingers intertwined as his arm draped around you.

“I don’t think your dad would be okay with me staying here at all if I wasn’t.”

“She’s right, son. It’s your responsibility to set a good example, your little sister watches your behavior more than you think.”

“I do not!” Wheezie shouts, rounding the corner into the room, likely having been eavesdropping on the other side of the wall.

“Either way, I won’t have any of my kids ‘playing house’ in here while I’m gone.”

Rafe fumes at this, feeling more defensive than usual towards his father since you’re sitting next to him.

“And what about Sarah? What do you think she’s doing at John B’s all night, huh?” He retorts, but is quickly silenced as you swat at his chest lightly.

“At least we know why you married Rose after 2 minutes.” Wheezie remarks, earning a proud chuckle from her brother from her audacious comment, and from the exasperation on his father’s face.

Ward shoots his daughter a look of warning, but ultimately brushes her off. “You’ll understand when you’re a father, Rafe.”

“Won’t be anytime soon at this rate.” Your boyfriend grumbles into your neck, and you wince, hoping his father didn’t hear it.

“I think that’s exactly his point, honey.” You whisper.

Ward scrambles around the first floor of the home, making sure he has the last of his things before leaving to meet Rose who is impatiently waiting in the car. “Alright now, you all be good, keep the house clean.”

“Bye, dad!” Wheezie shouts, already leaving the room now that the gossip has run out.

“You’ll be missed.” Rafe taunts sarcastically.

“Safe travels, Mr. Cameron!”

—

Much to Rafe’s dismay, you can’t find it in yourself to let Wheezie down & break the rules while Ward is away. Deep down, he can’t either. Not when your eyes are sparkling while looking into his, begging him into believing that you’ll make it worth his while.

He won’t let you get away that easily— he faux insults you, how you’re a goody two-shoes first and his girl second, but by the way he’s holding you bridal style in his arms, carrying you to the guest room, you can’t tell the difference.

He carefully gets you ready for bed, a process of small steps that feel natural to him.

Taking out your earrings for you, he knows how much you hate it when the earring backs poke you when you lay on the pillow wrong.

Doing your skincare routine— albeit he goes extra slow to really ‘massage’ the products in. You both know it’s all in the name of admiring you up close, while pressing soft kisses to your lips every so often.

He could never forget the step of fluffing the pillows just how you like them. Prior to your stay, he even bought the same pillows and sheets you have at home— switching out Rose’s poor taste in linens for something that would help you sleep far more comfortably.

The last and most important step; Kissing you goodnight a million times. The way your lip balm tastes makes the floor seem like a feasible option in his mind, but you’ll never let him.

Rafe is obviously stalling time before he has to leave you for the night, but as he would tell it, he’s just giving you something to dream about. After all, nothing less than royal treatment exists for his Y/n.

—

Rafe hated nights like these. His mind had a tendency to race at night, sometimes beyond the point of return. His only consolation being that you were near him, just a few doors down. Being left alone with his thoughts only made for long hours of tossing & turning.

His fingers itched to pick up his phone off the nightstand and call you; longing to hear your voice.

You always had a way of making him forget. Unbeknownst to you, whenever Rafe had times of anxiety, he’d ask you questions. Sometimes philosophical, sometimes funny, or sometimes recollections of stories that would lead you to ramble on and on.

And no matter what was happening in the world outside of the walls of Tannyhill, or what words were exchanged between him and Ward earlier that day, you must have some kind of magical powers with the way you make his worries disappear.

Nobody loved him like you did, and he made sure to show you he returned the sentiment tenfold.

Rafe didn’t know how long he’d been laying there, heavily fatigued but eyes wide open. The light of the moon created a soft glow in the room, shining on the photo of you both on his nightstand.

It was a picture from Midsummers, candidly taken by Wheezie. Natural, showing the two of you in your element of being irrefutably in love with one other. Nothing like the stuffy portraits hanging through the halls of his home.

His eyes flickered to the alarm clock sitting next to the picture frame. Rafe stared at the numbers, watching the time go by, knowing you’d probably be waking up before he gets any sleep at all.

He can’t pretend that he doesn’t know the remedy for this spell of insomnia; and she’s slumbering peacefully down the hall.

‘But the rules, Rafe…’, He can hear you reprimanding him even through his current state.

Rafe weighs the options, considering you’ll be too exhausted to put up a fight and kick him out of bed. And he knows under no circumstances, would you ever kick him out of bed.

Soft sounds of an owl perched in a nearby tree catch his attention from outside, breaking away from his dilemma and focusing on the balcony just outside his window.

Rafe’s too tired to think twice about his decisions right now, thoughts of you clouding his mind. All he can do is thank the universe that nobody is here to witness what he’s about to do.

—

You wished you had it in you to be rebellious in times like these. Compliments from everyone in Rafe’s life, most notably his family members, were not lost on you, as he’d even acknowledged himself that you inspire him to be better.

To be responsible, to have integrity, and as silly as it used to sound to him, they’re all of the things that he now believes will land him a place in heaven right next to you.

His arms holding you close just hours ago felt like a distant memory, and the coziness of the duvet couldn’t compare. The matching linens from your own room served as a nice touch, though.

You’d been in and out of sleep for the past few hours, and you wondered if Rafe was at least sleeping better than you were.

It could’ve been your surroundings. Hotels, sleepovers, anywhere that wasn’t your own bed had ever provided the same comfort.

Then again, the image of Rafe clad in nothing but plaid pajama pants felt pretty comforting, awakening the butterflies in your stomach at the thought.

When he kissed you goodnight like it was the last time, how could you think about anything else?

Those imaginations were cut abruptly short, hearing a thud on the balcony of the guest room you were occupying. Your heart skipped a beat, and you were about to abandon all of your intuitions about following Ward’s rules & wake Rafe immediately, if it wasn’t his unmistakable silhouette of a tall body & messy hair that made you sigh in relief.

You got up, the duvet still draping around your shoulders, before pulling the thin curtains back in a swift motion. Your suspicions were confirmed about Rafe being on the other side of the door.

He always found new ways to romance you beyond belief, but this was new.

“Hey, crazy. Do you always balcony hop in the middle of the night?”

“I’m only crazy for you, so don’t start.” He mutters sleepily, yet his natural wit is still sharp. Rafe’s hands instinctively snake around your waist & he presses his forehead to yours. “Haven’t done it since I was a kid. Used to get up to the roof and stargaze.”

“So, why tonight did you feel the need to break out of retirement?”

“Would you believe it if I said ‘no reason’?”

You giggle, kissing his neck chastely. “No.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Do you want me to sing you to sleep?”

He chuckles, followed by a soft sigh, almost feeling bad for interrupting precious time you could’ve spent sleeping. Not really feeling bad since he’s feeling peaceful once more, but feeling bad just a little bit. “It’s just one of those nights, baby.”

You kiss his cheek again tenderly in acknowledgment. Your eyes met his guiltily, knowing what he’s asking without asking it.

“You know we’re not supposed to share a bed.”

“Not even with a pillow wall between us?”

“You and I both know that won’t last a second.” Rafe smiles at you, admiring the way you know the other so well. “But he never said anything about sharing a balcony…”

You untangled yourself from his embrace, laying down on the daybed atop the balcony. You outstretch your arms for him, wiggling your fingers for emphasis.

He studies you patiently, wondering if he had the stars to thank for how perfect you were for him. He doesn’t waste anymore time in joining you, holding you close to him.

Your cheeks heat up at the realization that this was the Rafe you were dreaming about not long ago. He had a way of making you forget the rest of the world around you. A little ignorant bliss has never felt so good.

He lifts your chin with his index finger and thumb, kissing you again between looks of adoration. The look says a thousand words, leaving the best things unsaid as it often does with you two.

“Are you okay?”

Rafe feels his eyelids grow heavy, and for the first time all night, his mind is free and clear of affliction. “I am now.”

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#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe x reader #rafe outer banks #rafe obx #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe cameron x fem!reader #outer banks #obx #outer banks fanfiction #obx fic #rafe cameron x y/n #outer banks x reader #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fluff #drew starkey

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yaksha-lover · 9 months

Text

Imagine being stuck between your not-boyfriend Leona and your dearest friend Malleus.

Things start out casual between you and Leona - you promise each other that you won’t catch feelings. There are endless reasons you two can’t ever be in a relationship: Leona’s the last person to want a commitment to anyone or anything, he’s a prince, you’re still planning to return to your home world. You agree to a few nights of fun whenever you both have time, eventually planning to go your separate ways without anyone ever finding out. Only things never work out that way.

One day, Leona stops leaving Ramshackle as soon as the two of you are finished. He stays and you make midnight snacks and actually talk. The late-night conversations show you a different side of Leona. You think the previous events of the night put him in a good mood, one where he’s willing to tell you stories of the Sunset Savanna, of his childhood.

Suddenly, the two of you are sneaking out of NRC on secret dates (neither of you call it that, but the dinners and sights he take you to are hard to dismiss as just a friendly get-together). It’s exhilarating while it lasts, the secrecy of this love affair. When it’s just the two of you, out where no one knows you, it’s like living in another universe where you could actually be together; there’s no mention of his royal status or your return home, there’s only you and him.

It’s hard to separate the ‘you’ that made the promise from the ‘you’ that knows the way Leona is when no one else is there for him to keep up appearances. You make a mistake; he’d huffed about holding your hand on a secret outing before, but ultimately he’d conceded and let you tug him along to places. This time, with an audience of the other housewardens, he isn’t so willing to forgive your little mistake.

Your attempt to take his hand and lead him out of the classroom is met with a fierce glare and him yanking his hand out of yours. You know it’s your fault - you should’ve known better than to break the rules that you agreed to, he’s not your boyfriend after all - but the sting of his rejection and the words of venom he spits at you have your chest squeezing tight enough to leave you rooted in place. Vil even stops to pat your shoulder on the way out, his pity at your rejection evident in his voice.

You think you might love him. The feeling is suffocating, nothing like you’d ever thought falling in love would be like. You’ve doomed yourself - Leona’s been clear about his intentions from the start - and still, you dared to hope that the sweet nothings he whispered in your ear meant something.

You never told Malleus about your relationship with Leona, but you never had to; he already knows. He’s far more observant than most give him credit for. What else can one do but listen when they have no one to talk to? No one, that is, until you. He notices the changes in you during each successive club meeting. The cycles of elation and heartbreak were easy to spot in your small grins and deep eye bags.

He’s a bit heartbroken himself when he first realizes it. He thought it was no secret that he was interested in you, but you remained oblivious despite his attempts. He comforts himself with the thought that this is just a temporary thing - a relationship never meant to last more than a change of seasons.

Eventually, when the sadness becomes too much for even you to hold in, you confide in him. That day, you cry into his arms and for the first time, he wishes to hurt Leona Kingscholar. Despite your insistence that this is not Leona’s fault, Malleus knows better.

It’s clear to anyone that Leona’s feelings for you run deeper than you know. Even before you two began this secret affair, everyone had known the way he looked at you, the way his eyes would linger. Now, his love for you is obvious in the way he takes care of you, the way he glares at anyone willing to come within a two meter radius of you.

It’s because he knows Leona has feelings for you that he hates him. Because his inability to express them sends you crying into Malleus’ own arms every time. You deserve better than someone who isn’t willing to show you how they truly feel. And yet, you never stop. You can’t resist him, Malleus supposes.

It hurts him, when you cry into his chest night after night. How cruel are you, to cry to him over another man when he has spent many nights simply trying to suppress his own feelings for you? He knows that you would never do this to him, if you knew about his feelings, but he can’t bring himself to tell you. He would rather stay by your side as a friend than lose you trying to become more. Malleus keeps that thought close to himself on the nights he’s alone and forced to wonder if you would’ve chosen him had you met him and not Leona first.

Malleus doesn’t know that you’ve thought the same, convinced that the dragon prince would never think about you that way. At first, you’d only really been interested in Leona, but the more he pushed you away and the more time you’d spent with Malleus, the more you began to see him in another light. You only become more and more confused about your feelings as time goes on.

The last time you’d seen Leona, you’d finally broken down and told him your true feelings. That you couldn’t do things casual anymore, that you’d longed to be with him as a real couple. You felt guilty also mentioning your growing feelings for Malleus, but in the end felt it was necessary to be entirely honest to him. You’d asked him to say something, to make a decision.

Leona hadn’t said a word, only staring at you in silence until you couldn’t take the feeling anymore and fled from his room. In a way, you felt that his silence had spoken for him and ended anything you thought existed between the two of you. You couldn’t even bring yourself to tell Malleus about it.

You have no idea how you make Leona’s heart ache. How much he cares about you and much it hurts to see your sad face when he has to pretend that he doesn’t. Old habits die hard, and Leona’s past makes it difficult for him to openly care about anything. He never wanted to make you feel like this - he wants to love you publicly, but his pride takes over and leaves him pushing you away.

He knows he sabotages all his chances at happiness, but Leona won’t let himself lose you. The next night, he shows up to your door, wearing a suit and flowers in hand (the most effort he’s put into anything in years), prepared to finally tell you of his feelings and ask you on a real date. He feels his heart sink when you open the door and he spots Malleus sitting at the coffee table behind you.

Only an hour earlier, Malleus had decided that he couldn’t live like this anymore, not telling you of his feelings. He’d also shown up at Ramshackle, asking you to talk. As he told you his feelings for you, you hadn’t said much, looking more surprised than anything. It was as he was waiting for your answer that the doorbell rang and Leona appeared on your doorstep.

The two men stare at each other and then back at you.

You have a choice to make: the handsome lion who’d won your heart during passionate nights or the beautiful dragon who’d been there for you all along?

#i know love triangles are cliche but these two got me in a chokehold fr #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #malleus draconia x reader #leona kingsholar x reader #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar #twst drabble #twst #twisted wonderland #k.concepts

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borathae · 2 months

Text

Cozy | Yoongi x f.Reader

"In celebration of your anniversary, Yoongi surprises you with a cozy winter holiday in your own little mountain cabin. The days are spent enjoying the tranquility, the evenings are spent enjoying yummy cocoa and the nights are filled with love making. On your fourth night, you surprise Yoongi with a very special massage."

Pairing: Vampire!Yoongi x Witch!Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, Slice of Life Fluff, Smut

Warnings: the supernatural aspect of them is basically not present, so this is also for all the besties who don't like supernatural stuff, Yoongi being the ultimate boyfriend, she gets such princess treatment, casual nudity, cuddles and kisses, the next ones are for the smut part: the coziest love making, sub!Yoongi, service Dom!Reader, pillow prince!Yoongi, soft Dom!Reader, massage with a massage candle, can you call this waxplay?, use of lube, anal fingering, prostate massage, use of a prostate vibrator, she just wants to make him feel good, multiple orgasms (m.receiving), he has sensitive thighs, cock worship, body worship, kisses, praise, loving dirty talk, loveliest aftercare, this is so sweet and comforting, they're so in love holy fuck

Wordcount: 9.7k

a/n: being treated like a princess and treating my boy like a king in return? yes. this is the ultimate life and nobody can fucking stop me. enjoy besties, i love them so much that i want to cry 🤎 ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOONGIE I LOVE YOU <3

It will be your anniversary this Wednesday and Yoongi surprised you with a trip to the Austrian alps. He rented out a cabin high up a mountain, which was only accessible by a narrow one lane path. He told you to pack warm and take your favourite books and then took you in his jeep.

You and he haven’t left the cabin yet except for your second day where you drove down to the local supermarket to buy groceries for the week. You will be here for six nights. Yoongi cooks for you. He already announced that he will. You also take a lot of walks and built a snowman in front of your cabin. The afternoons you spend doing your own things. You like to read, while Yoongi likes making music on his laptop. Every now and then, one or the other would look up for a moment to catch a glimpse of the other person. Come dinner time and you find yourselves cooking together whilst chatting about the most random of things.

Tonight’s dinner was authentic Carbonara with local eggs and bacon. It tasted wonderfully. You went for two portions because you couldn’t get enough. Yoongi was so happy, watching you enjoy the meal and feeling full just watching you.

The latter has been occupying the bathroom for the last thirty minutes, but seems to finally be done. You are reading on the couch when the bathroom door opens. The scent of his shampoo instantly fills the room.

“The bathroom's still toasty if you wanna go now", Yoongi says as he leaves the room. He is wearing his sleep pants, but no shirt, rubbing his hair dry with his towel.

You follow him with your eyes, feeling your heart flutter. He is so perfect. His arms tense and flex as he dries his hair, his chest stretches in the position and his tummy looks so soft. Your eyes linger on it for longer. He isn’t sucking it in anymore.

In the beginning of your relationship, Yoongi always sucked in his stomach when he was shirtless in front of you. Years passed and the once conscious act turned into something subconscious, something his body did on reflex. For a few months now, you began to notice that he stopped doing it more and more. It has been four days since you came here and not once have you seen him suck in his stomach.

“What?” Yoongi asks as he sits down on a chair in front of the floor mirror, “why are you looking at me?”

“It’s nothing. I don’t wanna say it yet”, you say and get up to use the bathroom as well.

“What do you mean?” he asks and you can watch how his stomach instinctively tenses up.

“No, it’s nothing bad. You’re just so handsome. I was swooning over you again”, you assure him and give him a back hug. One kiss to his cheek. Another to his neck. The last on top his shoulder.

Yoongi looks at you with half-lidded eyes.

“I’m taking a shower now. Okay?” you ask as you give his shoulders a gentle massage.

“Yeah, okay.”

“My handsome prince”, you say and snicker when this makes him lower his eyes bashfully.

You close the door, but don’t lock it. You are in the midst of stepping inside the shower when Yoongi knocks.

“Yes?”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

The door opens. Yoongi doesn’t look at you on purpose.

“Sorry, I forgot my brush”, he says and fetches it from the counter. He waves it in the air, “found it.”

And with that, he leaves again, keeping his head lowered in respect. You snicker to yourself. He is such a sweetheart. You wouldn’t have minded if he looked at you, but he still made sure not to be disrespectful. It is the same with any kind of touch which could be interpreted sexually. He could kiss you, grope you, fuck you and ruin you without asking if he wanted to, but would he do so? Of course not. He only touches you when he knows you want it, just as he only looks when he knows you want it. He makes you feel so important and loved with it. You aren’t a piece of meat to objectify for him, a pretty thing to perform at all times. You are his most precious person, his favourite human and the treasure he will only worship if you allow him. Oh it feels so good to be with someone who allows you to be so disgustingly human.

Which makes the fact that he started relaxing his stomach in your presence all the more precious. He is finally allowing himself to be so disgustingly human in your presence.

You love this man so much.

Yoongi is wearing the full pyjama set once you leave the bathroom. His hair is dry and fluffy. His bangs hang into his face, making him appear so much younger.

He lifts his eyes and lowers them instantly when he realises that you were naked.

“It’s okay to look, I don’t mind” you assure him and leave for the bedroom, “I forgot my pjs. Silly me.”

You return soon. You and he are matching. You had the idea and Yoongi instantly took the soft pyjamas you offered. Even your fluffy socks are matching.

“Did you brush your teeth yet?” he asks you.

“Not yet. Why?”

“Do you want hot chocolate?”

“Oh yes”, you gasp with sparkly eyes.

“Okay”, he says and gets up from the couch to hurry to the kitchen.

You in the meantime get cozy on the couch, bundling up in a woollen blanket.

The cabin is made up of four rooms. The small entrance area where one can store their outside clothes and skiing equipment if needed. Then a sturdy door separates it from the living room and kitchen area, keeping the chill air out that way.

At the other end of the living space, were two doors next to each other. One for the bathroom and the other for the bedroom. A metal wood burner in the corner closest to the bedroom door keeps the small cabin warm and in the corner closest to the entrance way door, a corner bench with a dining table and three chairs was located. Everything was made out of wood, the floors, the walls and most furniture. It looked traditional and cozy.

The couch was very obviously from Ikea though. It didn’t feel out of place.

You turn on the cozy sofa, resting your chin on the edge of the backrest so you could watch Yoongi make hot cocoa.

He makes it on the stove with fresh, local milk and actual chocolate. Apparently Austria has this very famous chocolatier, who also makes chocolate especially for hot cocoas. You and Yoongi picked out a few flavours from the store, which piqued your interests.

Yoongi walks to you with his hands balled into fists. He presents them to you.

“Do I gotta pick?” you ask.

He nods his head.

“What are the flavours?”

“Banana milk chocolate or cinnamon nougat.”

“Ooh okay uhm”, you tap on his left hand.

He turns it and opens it, revealing the small chocolate bar. It looks tiny in his big hand.

“Nice, cinnamon nougat”, you say.

“Mhm, good choice”, he says and turns to strut back to the stove.

He stirs in the chocolate, humming to himself as he does. You keep watching him, kicking your feet giddily. When will the limit of your love for him be reached? You always think that your heart can’t take anymore, but then it grows and grows and grows and it never gets too much.

Yoongi divides the cocoa into two mugs, giving you more than himself. He fills the pot with some water so it would be easier to clean later and then struts back to you.

You stretch out your hands so he can give it to you over the backrest.

“Careful, it’s really hot.”

“I know. Uh, ah.”

“I told you it's hot”, he whines and tugs the mug away from you again.

“I got it now”, you say and pull your shirt sleeves over your hands.

“Careful.”

“I got it. See? Just had to use my brain.”

He snorts and chuckles, rounding the couch so he could sit down next to you.

“Thank you so much for this. It’ll warm me up in no time.”

"Are you cold? I'll get more wood. And a second blanket”, Yoongi babbles and tries to get up.

You, however, keep him down by laying your legs over his lap, “I’m cozy. Don’t worry.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Thank you.”

“Okay, yeah. Just tell me if you change your mind.”

“I will, my love”, you speak softly as your eyes wander over his features adoringly. You are resting back, keeping the hot cocoa on your tummy for now so it could cool down a little.

Yoongi is sitting up, fumbling with the edge of the mug by tracing it mindlessly. He glances at you and looks away. His cheeks gain colour.

You notice and give his tummy a little nudge with your toes.

He glances again. You give him a smile. He barely retorts it because then he is looking away bashfully again.

He takes a breath in the distinct way he always does when he wants to talk. Nothing comes. He is hesitating.

“What do you wanna say?” you ask him.

“How did you know that I wanted to say something?” he gasps, looking at you with widened eyes.

“Just the way you breathed.”

“Ah”, he flusters, “am I that predictable?”

“No, it’s just that we’re spending so much time with each other.”

“I guess, yeah.”

“What did you wanna say?”

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“I won’t laugh, promise.”

“What did you mean by what you said earlier?”

“What did I say again?”

“That you didn’t wanna say it yet”, he says and touches the side of his neck in self soothing, “it made me feel insecure”, he adds in a whisper.

“It did? No Yoongi, I’m sorry”, you gasp and sit up to close in on him. Your legs are still thrown over his lap. The mug rests on your thighs for now, “I’m sorry that it made you feel this way. It was something totally positive, but I just didn’t wanna say it yet in order not to ruin it.”

“What do you mean? I don’t know what to make of this.”

“Okay so, uhm, please don’t take it to heart, but I noticed that you stopped sucking in your tummy when you’re shirtless with me.”

“My tummy?” he touches it, “I’m sucking in my stomach?”

“Not anymore. You did so for the longest time and I understand why you did it, but since a few months ago, you stopped doing it and I guess I just looked at you because I thought that you were so beautiful this way.”

“Oh. Uhm”, he lowers his head shyly, “okay. I didn’t know that I did that.”

“That’s okay. I understand, you have issues with your torso.”

“Yeah”, he nods his head, “fuck sorry, I’m an idiot. I thought you were thinking something bad, that I looked weird or something.”

“No, my love. Not even for a millisecond.”

He nods his head, sagging his shoulders in relief.

“Okay. Uhm, thank you. I needed to hear this.”

“Of course, my love. Thank you for communicating.”

Yoongi glances at your lips, “can I give you a kiss?” he whispers.

“Yes, but careful the choco”, you allow him.

Together you make it work without spilling anything, ending the loving kiss with a little stub of your noses.

Yoongi leans back with his eyes racing over your face.

“Did I seriously suck in my stomach all the time?”

You nod your head.

“I didn’t realise that I did it.”

“I figured. When my current life started out and being naked in front of someone else suddenly became a regular thing, I began sucking in my tummy too until you helped me gain a lot of self confidence. I think we’re all a little too mean to the part of our body which literally keeps all our important organs safe and cozy”, you say and rub your tummy gently.

Yoongi chuckles, his eyes soften. You giggle, scrunching your nose.

“Does it look weird now that I’m not doing it?”

You shake your head, “it didn’t look weird as you did it and it doesn’t look weird now. You have the perfect tummy”, you say and give it a little rub.

Yoongi looks into his mug, trying not to smile but failing miserably. His cheeks are rosy.

“My cutie”, you say and kiss his cheek.

He turns his head, begging for a kiss with longing eyes and parted lips. You can’t deny him, not when he looks so pretty like this. You kiss him as best as the mugs allow you to.

You only break the kiss once air gets sparse.

“This was nice”, you whisper.

“Yeah. Nice”, he breathes, studying your lips as if they were his favourite artwork.

You kiss him unexpectedly, resulting in his lips to tremble and his breath to hitch in his throat. You don’t let it deepen as it was only supposed to be a quick kiss, sitting back and taking the first sip of the cocoa.

“Mhhm yummy”, you say and drink again.

Yoongi tries his’ as well, nodding his head in agreement.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s good. Really sweet though.”

“Yes, but that’s the best part. The sweet really makes it so yummy.”

“Yeah”, he agrees and licks his lips after taking a sip, “do you still wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure, I’d still be down. You?”

“I guess, yeah.”

“So no”, you chuckle.

“No, sorry.”

“That’s okay, we could do something else. Oooh, do you wanna try the game?”

The cabin offers a Wii (mounted to the dresser because people can be assholes) with some multiplayer party games installed. You have been talking about trying Mario Party ever since you realised that it was on there.

“Yeah we could do that. I’ll suck really bad though”, he says.

“That’s okay. I’m not the best either”, you say and get off the couch to turn on the Wii, “should we compete against each other?”

“Can’t we be a team? Is that possible?” he pouts, “I don’t wanna compete against you”, he murmurs sadly.

“Fine, we’ll be a team. Okay, idea. One round we’re a team and another we’re competing? Just for fun?”

“Yeah, okay. I like this idea.”

The game is so much fun. You and Yoongi make up the perfect team. There is not a moment where one of you raises their voice or snaps at the other. The only times you and he get a little louder was during your victory cheers and especially thrilling moments during the mini games where you squealed and squeaked in excitement. It was shared squealing however and based on the thrill of the game.

The second round was just as fun. Your cocoas have long been finished and you are cuddling under the blanket. You have your head on Yoongi’s chest while he is resting against the pillows. You can feel his voice whenever he speaks and you always get gently shaken around whenever he is caught by the thrill of a mini game.

Yoongi ends up winning and despite his initial distaste against competing, he is very smug about it.

“What can I say, I’m natural”, he says, putting the control down, “waaah, I’m a genius”, he sighs and drops his head into the pillows, smirking like the cocky little shit he currently is.

“Wah, look at you gloating”, you tease, nudging his chin.

“I’m not. I’m just saying. I’m a total natural.”

You shimmy up his body until your chests are touching and you have him under you. Your elbows rest in the pillows, his big hands rest themselves on your lower back. He is looking up at you with a smirk, yet fond eyes.

“You’re cocky”, you say, combing your fingers through his hair mindlessly.

“You’re just salty that you lost.”

“Wow”, you laugh, “and here I was thinking that you didn’t wanna compete against me.”

“I didn’t.”

“Mh-hm sure”, you joke.

Yoongi chuckles deeply. His face is glowing in adoration. You brush his bangs out of his face, giving his forehead a little massage as you do it. Over and over. It feels so nice to Yoongi. He feels in paradise right now. Your weight is on him, the blanket traps your shared body heats and your heart is beating so calmly against his chest. Your touch is also so gentle and filled with love and Yoongi thinks that you look especially pretty right now.

He is in heaven.

You giggle and rest your head on his shoulder. You can nuzzle your nose against his neck like this and Yoongi can hug you so, so tightly. He does it instantly, rubbing your back up and down and in little circles.

“This is so cozy”, you whisper.

“Yeah, it’s cozy”, he agrees with his eyes closed.

“Can we stay like this for a while?”

“Yeah. Please.”

And so it happens that you cuddle for heaven knows how many minutes. It is so wonderful to both of you. To be so close, to share warmth, to hug and snuggle and adore. It is truly the best ending of an already amazing evening. You don’t talk a lot during the cuddles and that’s perfect. There is no better kind of comfort than truly enjoying the cuddles without any kind of distractions.

You are soon starting to get sleepy however. Well, Yoongi more than you. And so you agree on leaving the couch for bed cuddles instead. You brush your teeth next to each other and while you leave for the bedroom first, Yoongi stays back to use the loo.

You are sitting on the bed when he comes in. A candle is burning on the bedside table. Yoongi joins you on bed, lying down on his side while you keep seated. He looks up at you with a toothless, cute smile and reaches out to hold your hand. He is tracing your knuckles as he does.

You retort the smile, shimmying into a more intimate position by taking a second pillow and using it to support your left arm. You are also on your side, giving Yoongi an opportunity to hide away in your chest. He takes it instantly, stubbing you with his nose as content, little purrs leave him.

You close your arms around him, burying your right hand deep in his hair. You play with it, massaging his scalp and his exposed ear whenever you get the chance. His purrs grow in volume each time you pay attention to his ear, and from what you can tell, he rubs his feet together under the blanket whenever it happens.

“Are you comfy?” you ask him in a soft voice.

“Yeah”, he whispers, nodding his head. He slides his hand under your shirt, rubbing your waist slowly. His palm feels incredibly soft against your skin, he warms you so well.

“Me too, my love”, you say and peck his ear. You follow it up with a little rub of his earlobe. Yoongi purrs and wiggles his toes. If someone would ever ask him the definition of perfect moment, he would say it is this one. To know that no one else is around and that he can truly let all his guards down is so incredibly relaxing to Yoongi. He likes life at the estate, he likes living together with his forever family, but sometimes he still feels a little too nervous to let go because of the possibility of someone walking in on you and him. So this holiday has been a dream for him. It’s just you and him and that means he can be the cuddly, snuggly boyfriend he so longs to be.

“Boongie?” you whisper into the silence.

“Mhm”, he hums, sounding sleepy.

“I have an idea.”

“Mhm.”

“What if I used the candle to give you a massage?”

‘“Mhm? What?” he breathes.

“It’s a massage candle and I could use the wax to massage your back. You know? Rub your shoulders, trace your spine, get that tension out your lower back”, you say, scratching his back in demonstration.

Yoongi shivers at the touch, rubbing his feet together.

“Would you like that? I just think that it could be romantic.”

“Yeah”, he whispers.

“Yeah?”

He nods his head.

“Oh Yoongi”, you hug him against you, “I’m so happy. Wow, I’m gonna make you feel so good and cozy”, you say and break the hug to get the candle instead.

Yoongi takes off his shirt in the meantime, lying down on his tummy. He lifts his arms above his head, hugging the pillow this way and squishing his cheek against it. He is watching you with half-lidded eyes, anticipating the massage with a fluttering tummy. You could do anything to him right now. Anything, as long as it means that he can stay in this cozy dream forever.

“Oh? You’re already shirtless. Wow”, you say and crawl to him. The candle you have already blown out, holding it safely in your hand, “are you excited?”

He nods his head.

“Me too. I like massages.”

He hums in acknowledgement, but doesn’t say more.

“Actually, I like pampering you in general. Have you noticed?”

Yoongi thinks of all the countless, wonderful times you pampered him. All the baths you made him, all the times you washed his hair and soaped his body, all the massages and “super duper special king spa treatments” you give him, all the flower bouquets you make him and all the small little rubs and touches you give him throughout the day. Yoongi thinks of every time he felt adored and pampered by you and he feels his entire body tingle in reaction.

“Yeah”, he answers you, arching his back into your touch because you placed your hand on his back.

“I really like doing it”, you confess and sit down on the back of his thighs.

Yoongi hopes that you never stop doing it. He feels so unworthy of it sometimes until he remembers that you wouldn’t like it if you knew that he is putting himself down. Then he starts feeling grateful for it.

“Are you comfy like this? Am I too heavy?”

“You’re never too heavy. You’re perfect”, he lulls his words, having his eyes closed.

“Thank you, this is so sweet of you to say.”

You rub your right hand up and down his back, tracing the way his spine swirls with your fingertips.

“Are you ready? It will be really warm.”

“Yeah, ready.”

“Okay, here it comes”, you say and tilt the candle.

Yoongi reacts in a full body squirm and his thighs tensing under you. You trace his spine, painting a waxy line from between his shoulder blades down to his tailbone.

“How is the temperature?”

“Nice”, he sighs.

You place the candle aside and begin spreading the massage oil with the flat of your palms.

“Oh it feels so nice. Really warm. It’s like a warm oil pour”, you say as you work carefully to cover every inch of his back with the oil.

“Mhm”, he hums, nodding his head slowly.

“Oh my love”, you gush, “my love, your skin is so soft. You’re so perfect, my love.”

Yoongi flusters. He stays silent because he is shy and doesn’t know how to react to your compliments, but he hopes that you never stop with them. He loves being adored. He loves it so much. Staying alone and sheltered was never better than having someone like you in his life. He loves being loved and he loves loving in return.

Now that the oil is evenly distributed, you begin with the massage. You start off with his shoulders, using your thumbs to locate the tenser spots and using them as well to break them down in circular motions.

“You barely have knots, my love”, you tell him, massaging along his shoulder blades.

“Is ‘cause you always massage me”, he mumbles with his lips naturally pouted by the position he finds himself in.

“Yeah, that’s true. I do massage you a lot”, you say, “but then, you massage me a lot too.”

“Mhm. Is nice.”

“Very nice.”

“All of it is nice.”

“Yeah? Am I doing well?”

He nods his head and shivers as you run your fingertips along his skin.

“All of it’s nice”, he repeats, “I like this trip so much.”

“Me too, Boongie. I like it so much. You really picked out the perfect place.”

“Thank you. I wanted it to be perfect. You’re my love.”

You feel your heart swell in your chest. You run your eyes over his features with butterflies dancing in your tummy. He is such a loving person. He always says that he is cold and unfamiliar with romance, but he is so full of love. He is warm and sweet and loves without being aware that he does. You lean down and kiss the shell of his ear.

“You’re my love too”, you whisper.

“Mhm”, he hums happily and smiles slightly, “I like the cocoa every night.”

“Yeah, me too and all the yummy food you make.”

“Yeah, thank you. I try to be good.”

“You are the best. I’m so spoiled with you”, you kiss his ear again, “and lucky”, you add, giggling sweetly as you squeeze him gently.

“No, I’m lucky”, he corrects you and shifts as you trace his spine, “I like it there.”

“Yeah? There?”

You trace his spine by massaging along each side of it. He has little dimples at his lower back. You include them in circular motions before going up again. You repeat it over and over. Down to his dimples and up to his shoulders.

“There is nice.”

“Then I’ll keep doing that”, you say and fall silent together with him.

You and he share in the silence for a while. The only thing audible is the faint sound of your hands gliding over his oiled-up back. The sound is just as relaxing as the massage. For both of you. And while Yoongi enjoys the touch, you find great relaxation at the sight. You love how his skin and muscles shift and move under your fingertips. It is both fascinating and deeply relaxing. He looks so soft and squishable. You love it.

“Can you do my legs too?” Yoongi breaks the silence in a whisper.

“Your legs?” you whisper as well.

“Nevermind, it’s fucking stupid.”

“No, it’s not. Of course I can do your legs. You just gotta help me with your pants, I got oily hands.”

“Yeah, okay. Cover my butt with something.”

“Okay I will.”

Yoongi shimmies out of his pants, kicking off the last few inches. You place one corner of the blanket over his butt, giving him a little pat.

“There we go. All modest.”

“Don’t touch my butt.”

“I’m not touching your butt, doofus”, you chuckle, “stay still, I’m getting more oil.”

“I’m serious, don’t touch my butt.”

“As a matter of fact, I will, Yoongi. I will only touch your butt from now on", you tease him sarcastically.

“Whatever", he murmurs, closing his eyes again because you are moving to his legs.

You snicker, “doofus. By how you keep talking about it, Imma think you secretly want me to touch your butt.”

“No, I don’t. You’re wrong.”

“Okay okay if you say so”, you say with a fond chuckle on your lips. You begin spreading the oil on the back of his calves, “are your legs in pain?”

“Yeah, they’re sore from walking.”

“I’m surprised that you can get sore.”

“Yeah well….it’s bad.”

“Aaah I see. It is so bad and not just a scheme to get me to massage you longer.”

“Yeah, it’s bad.”

You snicker, “you’re cute”, you say and begin feeling up his calves, “and genuinely tense. Wow, does this hurt?”

“A little. It’s okay.”

“Sorry, I gotta loosen you up.”

“It’s okay”, he assures you, “we gotta take a break from walks tomorrow.”

“What? Noo, I was so excited for the walk. Can’t we do it again?”

“Fine, okay. We’ll take a walk tomorrow.”

“Yay, thank you Boongie.”

“Mhm”, he hums. A second of silence then he chuckles.

“Tickles?”

“No, I’m just laughing at myself.”

“Why?”

“You give me one whine and I’m already saying yes. Fuck, I’m so weak for you”, he says and laughs.

“Yeah, true”, you snicker, “maybe I’m just a really good convincerer.”

“That’s not even a word”, he cackles.

“Yeah it is. Just like skincarer is. And massagerer.”

He snorts, shaking his head. He covers his eyes with his own hand, laughing with his shoulders.

You laugh with him, wiggling your shoulders happily. You love making him laugh. This is your greatest joy in life.

“You’re so silly”, he says and sighs loudly, “god. Convincerer”, he murmurs and snickers to himself.

“You must admit, it got a ring to it.”

“I guess, yeah.”

You snicker and lower your eyes back to his legs. You guide your hands up his calves until you have his thighs under your palms. You continue the path, applying pressure to get out some of the tension. You stop at the edge of the blanket corner and drag your hands back down his legs again. All the way to his ankles. Back up with the goal of going down at the end.

“Is this doing something for you?” you ask.

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

You want to keep doing this motion for a bit because it really helps loosening everything up. Yoongi falls silent and so you share it with him. The wonderful thing about being with each other is that you can both talk and be quiet and it’s equally nice to do. Massages are the perfect time for both and it seems that Yoongi is in the mood for silence right now.

What you don’t know however is that Yoongi has very sensitive thighs (you know that) and that your innocent touches suddenly start to feel very exciting to him. They feel nice and tingly on his calves and the back of his thighs, but feel almost electric on the inside of them.

You rub your hands up his thighs, guiding your thumb along his inner thighs this way. Yoongi follows the touch, feeling flutters in his stomach.

He wants to get back in control. He doesn’t want to ruin this sweet moment by being horny. He isn’t like this. Not him.

Your thumbs draw circles on his upper most thighs. Yoongi shivers and bites down on his own lower lip.

But it’s so hard to stay calm. Oh it is so hard.

Down again. Your attention is on his calves for now, while Yoongi wishes for it to be on his thighs instead. You draw relaxing lines for a little while and then you finally take on your journey up his thighs.

Nice and relaxing on the back of them, but electric on the inside. Yoongi opens his legs just a little.

“Is that nice?” you ask him and stay lingering on his inner thighs.

Yoongi had hoped you would. That is why he spread his legs like a needy boy in the first place.

“Nice”, he sighs, twisting a bundle of the pillow as his senses blur. He can feel every second of your touch.

It is so obviously innocent. So full of love and adoration and the desire to relax. Yoongi feels so guilty for making it into something so exciting, but he can’t help himself. He’s got such sensitive thighs and your fingers carry special magic in them. One touch was enough to enchant him and now he is paying the consequences. On top of that, he is feeling so cozy and good tonight. This is a happy kind of horny.

Your fingers slide under the hem of the sheets, brushing against the swell of his buttocks. Yoongi tenses up, not in discomfort but desire. He is on fire. This is making him so needy.

“Oops, sorry. Too far”, you gasp, retreating your touch instantly.

Yoongi lifts his butt, aching for your touch.

“Please.”

Your stomach tingles. You feel intensely overwhelmed for just a second. He looked so needy.

“I’m sorry?” you ask him, gawking at him with widened eyes and your hands resting on the back of his thighs.

“Mh-hm fuck”, he gets out and squirms. He lifts his hips again, tensing his thighs.

Your heart flutters. He is needy. This isn’t just a silly trick of your mind. Your innocent touches made him needy. You genuinely didn’t plan on doing this to him, so this is speeding up your pulse insanely.

“What’s the matter?” you ask him, rubbing his inner thighs to soothe him. This touch is not of innocent nature. This is meant to make him needier.

“Horny”, he whispers and lifts his butt again.

“Wow, this just made me so excited. You just opened the floodgates”, you say and chuckle, “are you serious?”

He nods his head and squirms, opening his legs further.

“Touch me. Please”, he begs quietly.

“Your bum?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t you specifically tell me not to touch your butt?”

“I was dumb. Wanna be touched. Please.”

“Fuck, you’re hot. Wow Boongie, I didn’t plan for this evening to go that way, but I’m so excited”, you say and giggle. You claim the space above him for a moment, leaning down to bite his ear gently.

Yoongi sighs, tilting his head to give you better access.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Mh-hm yeah. What do you want me to do?” you ask him.

“Just do anything.”

“Not enough, I need you to use your words.”

Yoongi whines in embarrassment, shaking his head. You close your fingers around the back of his neck and squeeze in warning. He mewls quietly.

“Finger me”, he chokes out, following it up with a shy, “fuck, please.”

“That’s better”, you praise and caress his neck, “I’m gonna make you feel so good, my love”, you whisper, basking in his breathy sighs. He looks so pretty making them with his lips parted and his eyes closed. You kiss his ear, “now stay. I’m getting the lube.”

Being organised is awesome because it only takes you a few seconds to get what you need. Lube and a little surprise for later. You’ll make sure to include it once Yoongi is blissed out.

You climb on top of him and rub his back. Yoongi moves into the touch, relaxing under it. He is so excited. Being touched and pampered made him feel so needy tonight. Ninety percent of your massage nights don’t end in sex. They are truly just relaxing bonding moments to you and him, so tonight is an exception. An exception you are more than willing to take advantage of. You love when Yoongi gets the kind of needy where he begs for your touch. Those occasions are rare and precious. And leave you way too needy for more.

You draw circles on his lower back, using the opportunity to pull off the blanket. Yoongi arches his back the moment he is exposed, presenting his bubble butt to your eyes.

“So pretty”, you say and grab his buttocks to knead them. He’s got so much to offer. For someone who is naturally petite, he has the most voluptuous butt ever. You love it and how it feels between your fingers.

Yoongi purrs, feeling his head begin to blur. You are exposing his hole every now and then, making him need it to be touched and explored. The air feels so cold on his skin, all he wants is your warm touch and the stretch of your fingers filling his hole.

Except that the first experience you give him is that of your insanely warm and wet tongue grinding against his hole.

“Ah”, Yoongi moans loudly, tensing his thighs. He wants to cum. That’s how fucking good the surprise feels. He is suddenly so fucking excited and turned on and giddy that he could genuinely burst.

“Mhm, mhm, mhm”, you let out as pull back with a sigh, “mhm so good”, you lick his hole, “so good, mhm”, you bury your face between his buttocks and grind the flat of your tongue against his hole by nodding your head.

Yoongi didn’t plan on being loud, but here he is. Being loud. And it is solely because you decided to start it off by using your mouth on him. Him. The man with the biggest oral fixation ever. The man who absolutely loses every functioning brain cell the second your mouth is on any kind of pleasure spot. Yoongi didn’t plan on being loud, but it’s fucking impossible when you are giving him his favourite thing.

You break away again with a slurp. It is just for gathering your saliva because seconds later, you are spitting on his hole. You pick it up with your pointer and middle finger, spreading it on his hole in upwards and downwards motions.

Yoongi reaches behind himself and spreads his own ass, dimpling his buttocks this way.

“That’s my good boy, spread yourself for me”, you talk to him sweetly, gazing at his exposed hole with love drunk eyes. He is so pretty.

Yoongi obeys gladly, feeling hazy. You made him wet, which makes the air feel so much colder on his skin. Never before did he crave your warm touch more than right now.

He mewls softly, arching his back.

“You’re so pretty”, you say and place your hands over his’. You lower your tongue back to his begging hole and lap at it in quick, short licks. He flinches each time you do, clenching under your tongue needily.

“Fuck…”

This is driving him insane. It feels so good. Your tongue is so wet and warm. Your hands over his’ feel so adoring and safe.

Yoongi buries his face in the pillow and groans. He drags out the sound until he has to breathe in, doing so in gasps and wiggles of his hips.

“You’re cute”, you say, lifting your mouth from his hole. You make up for the loss of contact by rubbing his wet rim, playing with his balls with your other hand. He has the softest skin. You love feeling it up and giving it a good massage.

“Good. Good what you’re doing”, he gets out, parting himself wider. He sticks his butt out just a little, presenting his hole almost proudly.

Oh what a contrast to his once shy nature. He talked about covered butts and you staying away from it and now look at him. He is arching his back and parting himself willingly.

“Keep it like that, love”, you order him, lifting your hands for just a few moments so you could reach for a spare pillow. You place it under him, guiding hid hips down gently.

Yoongi loves when you guide him, rolling his hips into the pillow as if he was making love to it.

“So needy”, you giggle and reach to your side for the lube.

“Yeah”, he agrees.

“Mhm, I love it. Spread yourself again, my love.”

He obeys instantly, waiting for your touch with bated breath.

You open the lube bottle and tilt it over his hole, letting some of the lube trickle down.

He doesn't react to it, but that is because he is Yoongi and he sometimes likes to stay quiet during sex. He also doesn’t react when you touch his rim to spread the lube, but you don’t mind these days.

It was a little different at first. Of course it was. Having him be quiet even during something normally as vocal as sex was surprising at first, but with time and learning each other’s intimacy languages, you really started to enjoy his quiet moments. Because as long as Yoongi is quiet, it means he is so lost in the pleasure that he forgets to make sounds.

“You’ve got the prettiest hole”, you praise because you love filling the silence with words of adoration. He deserves them.

“Mhm.”

“Ready?”

“Yeah, ready”, he says and lifts his hips a little.

“I’ll start with one.”

“Do it.”

You rub the pad of your finger up and down his hole a few times before finally pushing in.

Yoongi loses all kinds of tension in his body instantly, sinking into the pillow as if you just pushed the turn off button to his muscle functions. He releases an audible sigh, following it up with a small “mhm”.

“Slipped right in. You’re so soft, my love”, you purr, moving your finger in and out carefully, “hurts? You’re so tight.”

“No. Good. So good.”

“That’s good to hear. Tell me if it’s uncomfy.”

“Is good, keep going please.”

There is something deeply meditative about fingering Yoongi. Which is something highly unusual to say about such a sexy act, but it really relaxes you tonight. You aren’t going fast or rough, chasing the pleasure like a madwoman craving her high. No. Tonight, you are going slow and gentle, making it all about the journey rather than the destination.

You are taking time to really savour it and worship him in the process. While your dominant hand is busy with loosening his hole gently, your other hand is busy caressing his back and sides. You rub your palm up and down, trace his spine and give the softer spot a little squeeze. All while your finger gives him the feeling of being full he so dearly craved.

Yoongi feels in paradise. He likes when you are rough and you force the pleasure to the surface. But there is something insanely healing about being eased into it. You take time, take it slow, keep it gentle. Yoongi feels so cherished and safe when you give it to him slowly.

And how much more intensely it builds up. The warmth goes so much deeper and feels so much hotter than if you did it fast.

It has been quiet for some time already until Yoongi breaks it with a whisper of your name. He sounds so out of breath and hazy.

"Yes, my love?"

“Can you use a second finger?”

“Of course”, you say and slip out to put more lube. You give his rim a little rub and slide back inside. Two fingers at a time, you go slow to prevent pain. The pain never comes, only warm tingles so, so deep inside him.

He groans, clenching around you needily.

“So tight again”, you speak softly, pumping your digits in and out of him. You curl them each time they pass his prostate, sending electricity all through his body.

“Mhhm”, his voice shook as he made the sound.

“More lube?”

He shakes his head, “feels so good.”

Your stomach tingles. He is so sexy when he talks like this.

“Mhm”, you hum and lean down to kiss your way up along his back until you have his ear under your lips. You keep the rhythm of your fingers going, nibbling on his ear slowly.

Yoongi sighs, chasing your kisses with shivers running down his back. They go straight to his prostate, allowing your fingers to feel so much better than they already. Which means a lot because he is genuinely so far gone in paradise.

“You feel so good”, he sighs and follows it up with a deep, happy moan.

“Mhm, my good boy”, you praise him and sit back up so you could really concentrate on fingering him.

The tranquillity returns. Slow and gentle, you fuck open his pretty hole. You watch every shift and change, take in how it hugs your digits and moves around them and caress his back as you do it. Truly, you could do this for hours. Tranquillity might have returned, but Yoongi is a lot noisier than he was before.

He gasps and sighs. He lets out little moans and deep groans. He even purrs and whispers your name every now and then. You kiss his back or ear with every sound he makes, feeling so entirely high on this moment that you have to moan with him every now and then.

You are sitting, gazing at his loose hole when Yoongi speaks again. Or begs for that matter.

“Faster.”

“Faster. Like this?” you ask and speed up by curling your fingers against his prostate repeatedly.

“Ye-yes. Holy fuck, urgh god”, he groans and lifts his hips off the pillow to press back on your fingers.

“Shit, is this doing it for you?”

“Yeah, yah, y-yeahah.”

“This is so hot. So fucking hot, oh god.”

“___, please don’t stop aaah.”

“I won’t, my love. Fuck, this is so hot”, you moan, switching between looking at his flushed hole and his scrunched face.

It is buried halfway in the sheets, glowing in bliss. Strands of his hair are sticking to his forehead, his brows are furrowed tightly. His cheeks are so pink, his lips are as well.

“You’re so handsome, it’s insane”, you croak and look at his butt.

He can’t stop fucking back onto your fingers in squirmy arches of his back. It must feel so good. You are hitting the right spot. The truly, perfect right spot.

“I wanna make you feel so good, Yoongi love. Shit, wanna make you shake”, you confess and speed up, adding movement to the curls. You use your wrist for it.

Yoongi’s moans grow in volume and in quantity. If he isn’t moaning, he is gasping and breathing out the neediest curses.

“Holy fuck, it feels so good. What the fuck are you doing?” he chokes out as he tries and fails to get on his knees. His legs are shaking too much to hold his weight. He is destined to drop back into the pillow and use what little strength his hips offer to fuck back onto your fingers.

“What are you doing to me? Oh god”, he keens, shaking under you.

“Is it that good?”

“Yeeeees”, he groans and grabs the sheets above his head to twist them desperately, “fuck ___, fuck holy fuck.”

“I’m going insane, you are so sexy”, you moan, staring at him with blown out pupils. His ass is so noisy all of a sudden. So wet and greedy. You need to give it to him harder and make the noises grow.

And oh how they grow. He sounds so wet, matching the volume with loud moans and needy variations of the word “yes” and your name. Truly, two words are enough to drive you mad.

“You’re taking me so well”, you try to praise him, but quite frankly you can barely get the words out. He is stealing your sanity by being such a handsome, perfect man for you.

“A-ah ah aha ha”, Yoongi moans loudly, arching his back repeatedly as you abuse his prostate in the most amazing ways. He is close. His stomach is so tight, his legs so weak and the fire between them is reaching unbearable levels. You worked him up and now the crescendo is close. Yoongi swears he might need to scream soon.

“Mhhm Yoongi, that’s it. That’s my kitten.”

He is so restless, so squirmy and shaky. It is turning you on like crazy. Your fingers are starting to get tired, but you don’t slow down. You want to give him the fingerfuck of the century. He deserves to feel amazing.

“I have to cum”, he moans, shaking like crazy, “ah ah”, he squeaks breathily, getting on his knees to fuck back. His legs tremble uncontrollably, but he preservers, arching his back oh so prettily.

“You’re so sexy. You’re so fucking pretty.”

“I have to, to cu-cum. ___ ah”,

“I’m not slowing down baby, cum on my fingers. Go on, show me.”

Yoongi yelps up in pleasure, breaking apart on your skilled fingers. He is clenching and pulsating around you, burying his face in the mattress so he wouldn’t scream. His fingers are twisting the sheets, his body twitches repeatedly. He isn’t leaking from his cock, which means he is currently experiencing the best kind of orgasm ever. A prostate orgasm. So intense and deep inside and insanely addictive, that one is never enough.

Yoongi drops into the sheets once the shaking finally subsides. He huffs out air repeatedly, writhing weakly. He is tensing around your fingers, fucking the pillow as he keeps chasing the warmth. Of course one isn’t enough.

“More”, he begs, “more please.”

“You’re driving me insane”, you croak, “god, my fingers are gonna cramp. Give me a second, yeah?” you say and pull out.

“Please back. More please, don’t stop. Back”, he begs desperately.

“I am. Feel it”, you say and drag the tip of the prostate vibrator over his hole, “do you know what this is?”

“Yeah”, Yoongi exhales, feeling drowsy in excitement.

“Do you want it?”

“Yeah, please.”

“Here it comes”, you say and push it in easily.

Yoongi purrs, pushing back onto it. Once it sits snug inside him, you turn it on with a press of the button, switching to his favourite setting instantly. You don’t want to make him wait, not when he is so beautifully lost in bliss. Tonight is about him and giving him as much pleasure as possible.

Yoongi turns into jelly instantly, melting into the pillow. He releases small moans and purrs, enjoying the intense vibrations with parted lips and closed eyes. His prostate is throbbing. No words will ever be able to describe how good the toy feels after such an intense high.

“Feels good?”

He nods his head vigorously. His cheeks are flushed, his pink lips so wet from his drool.

“That’s good to hear”, you say and lay down beside him, running your hand up and down his back. You prop yourself up on your elbow and lean down to kiss whatever parts of his face are exposed.

Yoongi chases you with needy purrs and quick gasps. He spills tears, whimpering so heartbreakingly that you get worried.

You shoot up, cupping his cheek.

“What’s the matter? Does it hurt?”

Yoongi peels his eyes open, looking at you in devotion. He spills a few tears.

“I love you”, he chokes out.

“I love you too”, you whisper, “oh Yoongi, you are so full of love.”

He whimpers and touches your hand. You hold it instantly, enjoying how he is squeezing you weakly.

“Am I yours?” he asks.

“You’re mine. So entirely mine”, you whisper, brushing his hair out of his sweaty forehead.

Yoongi rolls his eyes back and closes them, growing slack in blissed relief. He is yours. Entirely yours. This feels so good to hear.

He furrows his brows and moans. The reassurance makes the toy feel insanely good all of a sudden. Better than it already did.

“Touch my cock, please”, he hears himself beg even though his brain currently can’t process anything other than the addicting pleasure deep inside him.

“Of course, my love. My beautiful love”, you say and give his forehead a kiss for good measures before you shimmy down between his legs again.

His cock lies perfectly so you can take it between your fingers and jerk it. You pick up some lube as well, spreading it all over his cock and balls.

The vibrator still purrs and pulsates inside him as you begin your cock massage. You go slow for now, paying attention to his balls as well. They are so big and hard already. You know he is going to cum so fucking messily once it’s time.

“Oh god”, Yoongi croaks and twists the sheets, curling his toes as well. His hips chase your hand, trembling weakly because the pleasure is making him so feeble.

“Now I can feel you all up”, you say and run your hands all over his cock, “you’ve got the prettiest cock. Such a pretty cock.”

“I can’t do this for long.”

“It’s okay. Tonight’s about you, my prince. Let go whenever you need to.”

Yoongi melts even deeper into the sheets. Yes, that’s possible. You are ruining him to the very core and it feels so good that Yoongi loves every fucking second of being so entirely weak. Your hand is moving exactly how he needs it to. There is pressure around his cock, your warmth is seeping deep into him and your skin is so incredibly soft. You touch him with love. Yoongi can feel it. This isn’t just a touch meant to make him climax, this is a touch placed with love and adoration and because he is important to you.

Yoongi fears that he might black out once he has to orgasm. You have him so weak.

“I have to- ah.”

“It’s okay, my prince. Let go. Just let go”, you encourage him with your sparkling eyes glued to his cock. It is so pink and flushed, glistening prettily because you make him so, so wet.

“___”, Yoongi moans your name, which makes the orgasm which follows even more intense. Your name means everything to him. Having it be the last thing he can form before his orgasm utterly ruins him, makes him feel actually fucking high.

Guttural moans follow after your name, his body shakes so much.

“That’s it. Give me everything. That’s my prince, you’re such a good boy. Give me everything”, you talk him through it, feeling dizzy at the view. He is shooting so much cum and doing it so aggressively at that, that it is covering all of your hands and most of the sheets between his legs.

“God baby, I’m milking you dry. You’re such a good prince, my love. Such a good pretty prince.”

“___ please don’t- ah! stop!”

“I’m not stopping, my love. I want everything of you, you’re such a good boy like this”, you speak softly while your hand pumps his throbbing cock quickly. You apply pressure whenever you reach his tip, squeezing ever single droplet of cum out of him this way.

“___ please, ___”, Yoongi moans into the sheets, shaking harder with every repetition of your name.

He won’t be able to go again after this one, you can already sense it. You are completely destroying him to his very core and he loves it. You love it too. You really, really fucking do.

“Good boy, that’s my good boy. Give me everything”, you moan, allowing him to truly release everything with just a squeeze of your fingers around his tip and a gentle fondle of his balls, “fuck look at you, that’s my prince, squirt for me. Fuuck.”

Yoongi is screaming. At least what he considers screaming. Fuck, it feels so much better than good. This is healing. He didn’t even know how much tension he had inside until you finally squeezed it out of him.

Yoongi doesn’t know how long his orgasm takes, but he knows that once it starts to die down, everything begins to hurt fast. He feels so drained and ruined and his nerves beg for a break.

“Stop”, he croaks weakly, tensing up in discomfort.

“Enough?”

He nods his head, fleeing your hand.

“Good boy, I’m already stopping”, you say and drop his cock to turn off the toy. You go to pull it out, but Yoongi stops it.

“Leave it, please.”

“Okay, I will”, you and bend down to kiss along his spine, “god Yoongi, you’re such a good boy. And you’re so handsome and pretty and beautiful. My love, my beautiful love”, you whisper as you worship his back with kisses and touches.

Yoongi melts into a puddle of safe relaxation. There is no better way to recover than being adored by you. You do it so honestly. He always feels so much because of it.

Once you reach his face, you lie down on your side again, propping yourself up on your elbow. You run your fingers over his face and through his hair, tracing his ear as well. You want him to feel how much you adore him and that he can feel safe with you.

Yoongi enjoys your touches with closed eyes and soft purrs. He feels safe and adored. You are doing such a good job in showing it.

Like this, you and he share moments of tranquillity again where no words need to be exchanged because being with each other is already enough to understand everything.

The tranquillity gets broken by Yoongi fluttering his eyes open. You smile at him instantly.

“Thank you”, he whispers.

“That was a hell of a massage wasn’t it?”

He chuckles tiredly, nodding his head. If it was humanly possible, his pupils would be little hearts right now. But it isn’t possible and so he gazes at you as if you were his fucking everything (which you are).

“Mhm”, you peck his cheek, “I had so much fun. I love when you’re so relaxed and clearly enjoying it. I love your moans, my love.”

“I loved it a lot”, he says and closes his eyes again, “you’re perfect.”

“No, you are perfect, my love. Gosh, I could eat you”, you say and bite his cheek.

Yoongi chuckles as much as he whines, leaning into it.

“Heh”, you let out, “now lie still, I’m cleaning you up. You made such a mess”, you say as you sit up to start cleaning.

“It felt so good. I couldn’t help it.”

“Don’t apologise, my love. I told you, I’m obsessed with you when you’re being like this.”

“Mhm.”

“The sheets are gonna be so cold and wet tonight though. Oh god, I think we need to pay for deep cleaning.”

“Afterwards. You’re gonna get them messy too.”

“Oh? Ohoho Yoongi, what do you mean?” you coo playfully as you squeeze his buttocks softly.

“You know what I mean.”

“Mhm, I do. I’m really excited for it.”

“Mhm.”

“Wanna keep the toy still inside?” you ask as you run your hands up and down his messy inner thighs.

“Maybe a bit longer. Sorry, it’s so nice.”

“Don’t apologise. You can keep it in for as long as you want to”, you say and lean down to bite his left buttocks.

Yoongi complains loudly, but soon breaks into happy giggles with you. The giggles will continue all throughout the cleaning where you and he can’t seem to stop joking around and will only slowly die down once you and he are cuddling because for some reason, Yoongi can’t stop making funny noises and cracking you up with them.

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