#and my own very sad feelings

[hysterical-random-things]

Soundwave Superior Back when I decided I wanted to get back into drawing transformers and interacting with the fandom, I decided to start off with attempting Soundwave. Now that it's been a bit over a year since then, I figured i'd be fun to do a redraw of the piece and compare how I'd draw it now :> Comparison under the cut

#transformers #maccadam #soundwave #g1 soundwave #tf fanart #laserbeak #redraw #idw transformers #g1 transformers #tf soundwave #g1 #idw #hystdraws #i'm glad i decided to get back involved with the fanbase #i dipped my toes in back when i first joined tumblr but decided then to just continue consuming transformers content on my own #the transformers franchise has been something i've loved since i was very small watching g1 episodes at my grandparents house #it holds a very special place for me #and while it is somewhat sad i only now really have started to actually engage with other fans i'm glad i have #anyway if you wanna talk to me feel free to dm or send me your discord handle etc etc

[astrolavas]

random Hunter headcanon GO!

AHH OKAY one of my random hcs is that hunter's smile is kinda asymmetrical/lopsided/wider on the left side cuz of his scars, especially after thanks to them. i imagine they'd significantly pull on his skin and could even affect nerves and definitely some range of motion, so-

sorta like this:

#i think it'd be very charming and neat :) but also sad cuz of the Reason for it OOF........ but charming. little dude #the owl house #hunter toh #in general i also feel like his scars are gonna significantly affect him cuz like. they cover a LARGE area. realistically they would #he has lots of experience with scars and injuries and knows how to deal with it all #cuz he rather didn't have access to a healer but needed medical attention a LOT so he defo had to learn how to patch himself up on his own #but also... i can imagine that with all of his responsibilities at the coven properly taking care of scars wasn't exactly his no.1 priority #so i like to think that if he gets a palisman woodcarving mentorship from the clawthornes dell will give him some advice #cuz he has a lot of experience with that himself as well and truly understands what hunter might be going through re: scar-related issues #anyways........ gah #hunter #toh hunter #hunter noceda #my toh talk #my sketches #my art #? kinda #nicole answers #Anonymous

[sarcastic-clapping]

already seeing people who clearly don’t understand that a lot of us who are upset about what happened to marwa in this episode aren’t upset about the characters’ in-universe morality but the real life misogyny and racism in the way that this plot was handled lol

#seeing some very smooth brained takes here #’what so you’re mad that the vampire serial killer is a bad guy that made his serial killer familiar sad??? 🙄’ #nope! #i’m mad the writers stripped a female character of color of all her agency to make her subservient to a man #who she presumably (and canonically as freddie) continued to have sex with #despite the very very yucky implications about her ability to consent #only for him to forcibly remove everything about her that makes her an individual with her own thoughts and feelings #transforming her from a woman of color into a white british man #feel free to laugh if you want humor is subjective #it just makes me deeply uncomfortable! #wwdits spoilers #wwdits #anyway it’s ok to be critical of media you like guys #i love wwdits but imo they fucked up on this plot. it was a miss for me. #EDIT: shout out to this post for helping me curate my experience on this site by acting as a fly trap for assholes to block

[captainofthetidesbreath]

[blows a kiss out to sea] for the Mighty Nein pirates arc

#I'm!! I have so many thoughts about why this arc is SO GOOD #But the short version is like #It is an arc about Fjord and identity and power and self and agency as he faces the truth of his patron and faces a rival warlock #But it is ALSO about Fjord grappling with those things bc he is ALSO processing grief and sadness and a search for direction and purpose #and grappling with disappointing disillusionment in how the world and people in your life (including maybe yourself) isn't what you thought #and about coming to resolve he has the agency and strength to not allow these things to deter him from purpose and place in the world. #And—this is why this is a PHENOMENAL arc—so is the rest of the Nein. Individually and as a group. #All of them are grappling with feelings of grief and sadness and disappointment and directionless and helplessness #just the grand malaise and relentless shapelessness of what living often is #They also as individuals and as a group together also find that resolve and strength to carry on and find self and purpose and direction #They all begin to process the very same things in their own lives and in their shared experience as The Nein. Simultaneously and together. #It's an arc about Fjord and self and agency in the face of disappointment and grief and disillusionment. #It's an arc about the Nein—individually and as a whole—and self and agency in the face of disappointment and grief and disillusionment. #It's SUCH a strong arc bc ALL of them are taking the same internal journey—structured around Fjord's very externalized version of it. #And it's got incredible vibes (pirate warlocks of a leviathan!) and some GREAT set pieces. And every NPC in the arc is iconic as is Twiggy. #Anyway. In my feelings about this arc. I said this is the short version and yet. #Critical Role things #CR meta

[canisalbus]

Vasco and Machete are absolutely adorable, your style is so lovely and you draw the softest beds I’ve ever seen in any art ever

.

#thank you! #softest beds is a whole new compliment that's so sweet #let me go off on a weird and personal tangent for a minute #I've always found the concept of sleeping very touching somehow #it's this mandatory resting period literally everyone has to plan their life around no one has the power to avoid sleeping #if you neglect it your mind and body start to break down very quickly #sleep is such a neutral state of being no one is particularly sad or happy or evil or good while they're asleep they're just logged off #sleeping feels nice it's rejuvenating it's one of the few universal pleasures every single person has an access to #and I find it terribly cute how people have different little bedtime rituals #socks on socks off various pillow and blanket arrangements certain sounds that make them sleepy etc #and sleeping next to someone is such an act of trust #it's extremely intimate as is sex doesn't necessarily have to factor into it #getting comfortable and going unconscious with someone at the same place at the same time that just touches my heart #especially if you're invited into their bed which is a very private space a person's own little nest where the world can't reach them #even if you fall asleep in public transport there's this vulnerability to it and for the most part people respect the sanctity of sleep #and tend to leave sleeping people alone at least in my limited experience #I like drawing my characters sleeping because it feels like I'm doing them a favor granting them a little respite #anonymous #answered

[mummer]

still sorting out how to feel about it but fuck ncuti was just insantly beyond all expectations. King

#i feel sad his first appearance was sort of playing second fiddle to tennant and he didnt get a proper regen or anything #but i am soooooo excited for him to get started in earnest #plot wise probably my favorite of the specials but that was pretty unhinged #my full conclusion is that rtd is the most self indulgent showrunner alive which works for him but is also very Apparent lmao #doc who #doctor who spoilers #like whys ncuti feeling like a companion/side character in his own show like???? #as someone who isnt a tengirl it’s like. Okay. #also as someone who enjoyed the donna tragedy SORRY #like these specials were really not For Me which is fine. but lets get going cmon 💪 #i’ll just never be a happy ending enjoyer i need it to be at least bittersweet which is why i like this show lol. too happy booooo #me and capaldi being like ITS SAD. ITS ABOUT DEATH. rtd putting his hands in his ears and playing with action figures #which he has the right to do i wish him nothing but happiness also 14 and 15 sjould have fucked

[lunarcrown]

Commission for @13thunluckyjinx of poor poor Tango after he was unexpectedly ripped away and sent back to hermitcraft without even getting to say goodbye to Jimmy in Jinx’s fic RIGHT HERE

He was sooooo alone in his big empty bed WAAHHHHHH

#tangotek #tango tek #rift saga #team rancher #rancher duo #angst #my face was so contorted drawing his expression I CANT STOP MYSELF FROM MIMICING #even laying there so fashionable and cool looking he’s SO VERY SAD HE CLUTCH THAT JIMMY DOLL #also I had in the back of my head that he’s extremely unwilling to wash his clothes he got teleported back in bc they still smell #like Jimmy and the warmth of the ranch #HGGHH hurts my own feelings #my art

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

#- HK #I would say some of my peers pushed the cooties narrative but my parents discouraged it #so I never thought of boys as being gross or having transmissible microbes #and I was always raised to value romance so I I don’t think I ever noticed a shift in my attitude towards the male sex #however I was somewhat (okay Very) bitter when suddenly it was inappropriate for me to be alone in a room with my male friend #but that bitterness had nothing to do with my own feelings towards guys #(and I truly think it was unavoidable. it’s part of growing up. #you can’t know why it’s inappropriate unless you also know all the lurid things two teens can get up to alone.) #(perhaps the suddenness of the change can be mitigated but the sadness can’t) #anyways I’ve always wondered about this shift everyone talks about that happens around middle school #because I remember feeling quite glad and natural in it. though I always was an aspiring adult)

[n3ongold3n]

Ever since i saw the thongTM i could not stop thinking about this 🐳

#käärijä #häärijä #khäärijä calendar #diary bit coming up in the tags bear with me since this is #also my diary kind of; this blog #this thing has fought me every step of the way - and it shows i know #but i needed at least /some/ tiny little crumb of standing up for myself against my own defeatist thoughts #not just drawing. just. in general there are so many tiny and medium obstacles to accomplishing tasks that i just feel #like such an idiot for not just getting rid of the obstacles and moving on #at the same time i know how very unfair this kind of thinking is towards me since i #literally have the neurodivergence of cannot set priorities for my life or coordinate several things unless under strong duress #and then i feel sad for not even living my life unapologetically #((and disappointing jere :') - you have not read this that would be way WAY too embarrassing for me) #and yes i know you shouldn't trust yourself after - what was it? - 19:00? Well. If I didn't have to struggle until 3 pm to get through #the wall of anxious paralysis we wouldn't have that problem but here we are #anyway. off to bed. for what it's worth #got to figure out how to electronically validate my ID :''') and/or call the job center - fun! #my own stuff

[jenna-louise-jamie]

thinking about yassen gregorovich instead of sleeping (because i love him) and how he is a catalyst. yassen stabbs ash -> ash kills john rider -> ian rider raises alex -> yassen kills ian rider -> mi6 blackmails alex into becoming a teenage spy.

i have so many thoughts that i can't properly articulate. obviously this is a simplified chain of events, but yassen and his choices set off a chain reaction of the world's most unfortunate dominos. especially when you read russian roulette. to be clear im not necessarily trying to blame him for everything because that feels very mean. he was also just a 14 year old kid when everything in his life went wrong, just like alex. only difference being yassen literally had no one.

i think i should write an essay about this because i haven't even gotten into my thoughts about what yassen and alex's dynamic would look like past eagle strike. i would imagine it'd be similar to ellie and joel from the last of us part 2.

where obviously yassen loves alex and alex on some level cares for yassen back but struggles to reconcile that with the fact that yassen is responsible for his uncle's death. a very unforgivable act. it would be so messy and complicated and angsty, because on one hand here is an adult who truly cares about him and has a connection with him through his father. yassen could tell alex about john, and trust that yassen truly wants whats best for him. but he killed ian, and he cannot take that back.

while alex reels from those feelings, yassen is also trying to reconcile his love of alex with the knowledge that he on some level is responsible for the suffering alex endured at the hands of mi6. and possibly even the fact that alex's godfather is the one who killed john and helen.

#btw i think anthony horowitz killed yassen off so he wouldnt have to deal with this lmao #and sidenote ash is responsible for his own shitty choices but i think itd be difficult for yassen to cope with the fact that stabbing ash #led to some very bad consequences for literally everyone #are there any fics that are similar to what im describing?? ? #i read a ton of alex rider fics but i mostly read fluff because im actually too emotionally fragile to handle angst #i cried while reading stormbreaker and that book wasnt even supposed to be sad #if this is doesnt make any sense its because i woke up at 2 am and wrote this #its just word vomit; pure not proofread thoughts directly from my fucked up little brain #idk maybe someone will enjoy reading this #alex rider #yassen gregorovich #alex rider books #ian rider #john rider #chaotic ramblings #and final note i do not ship yalex #i was thinking of this more in terms of yassen having a weird guardian/parental relationship with alex #if it wasnt clear from my ellie and joel reference from the last of us #anyways im gonna go back to making shitposts and memes so i never have to feel anything again thank you goodnight <3

[hostilemuppet]

wild how a woman can be the protagonist of the majority of the movies and television shows in a franchise and then just get shunted to the side, often without malice, by people who consider themselves fans of the property. i'm talking about poppy but this is a wider problem of insidious fandom misogyny.

i talk a lot about fandom misogyny and male favouritism but it is... so much more egregious in trolls bc of how the protagonist is a woman and the franchise seems mostly targeted to little girls. its like if the mlp fandom zeroed in on, like, raritys dad. or shining armour. or fluttershys brother

#ask #like. obviously my faves to draw rn are both dudes. i feel very bad about it actually! i feel like i am betraying my core beliefs! #but im. yknow. acknowledging it. i could definitely do more with the female characters! #its one of the reasons i tried REALLY hard to like b4rb on my rewatch! unfortunately. i do not think she was a well written antagonist #they tried to make her sympathetic but just said 'oh shes sad sometimes' #they did something similar with v3n33r and i also think he as a load of shit 😭 at least your sister owned it dumbass

[thebirdandhersong]

I think the problem. the problem is that I have always been afraid of not being invited into the inner circle. and am always wanting to be part of the inner circle. inner circle being the circle of love and companionship and communion. of course being a TCK and a bit of a sheltered homeschooled oddball child has nudged this further along over the years. but I didn't realise how STRONG that desire still burned. to actually be wanted.

#in other words today has been an oddly sad day! discovering that the friends you've made have their own group chats #that are separate from the general group chat (that no one ever talks on) that you aren't a part of is......... i don't know #i KNOW i'm liked by them and i KNOW they love me but do they WANT me around? #like. i know i'm not UNpleasant to have around. i am a good listener and a good conversationalist. #i work very hard at it because it doesn't come naturally to me. #but clearly that's not enough to be added to exclusive group chats! clearly that's not enough to be part of inner core circles #i don't know this just came out of nowhere and i feel as if i've been slapped in the face #sitting at a table where people are talking about the thing someone sent to the group chat #or the photo or quote or reel someone sent to someone else is....... bizarre. #i am trying not to be so hurt by it! i am trying not to take it so personally #it happens. i know it happens. i know it will keep happening. it is just that i thought this was a place where i wouldn't be lonely #and this is the dorm community i've invested so much of my time and energy and love into since last year. #so i think i'm justified in being a little upset! #i'm not crying about it but that's because i'm not about to cry with other people sitting here in the study lounge! #the math is probably really wrong here but i thought that if i poured love in for the sake of pouring love in #somehow somewhere along the line i would also receive love. that i would actually be a part of this community. #anyway that's not going to change how i live here! i committed myself to doing my best this last year #because i don't want anyone to feel left out or unwanted or lonely. i already made the decision #to do everything i can to love the people here. #i'm not trying to toot my horn this is just what i actually want to and have decided to do! #i have birthday cards planned! i have midterm snacks planned! #i've just worked out how i can print christmas and easter cards and stickers! #i'm GOING to love darn it all i'm GOING to pour love in #i think it hurts especially because there's the boy problem going on too #of not being wanted in an area that i DIDN'T expect to be wanted in #and then learning that there is a collective not being wanted in this whole community #it is a Lot and it is very hard and i don't know what to do with it! #i have had this lie (that i'm inherently unloveable and undesirable) in my head since childhood #and i've worked SO HARD to shut that voice up. and it is so so hard to not believe it right now

[skyler10fic]

I would never choose to bring anybody into this.

You are not the only thing standing between this and the universe.

#Very ready for this movie to emotionally fuck me up. Let's go feels! #MY HEART #monica rambeau #carol danvers #captain marvel #photon #auntie carol just wants to protect srgt trouble but bby is all grown up and a superhero in her own right now #AHHHHH #the rain the lighting the sadness the grief the loyalty! #the marvels

[pokimoko]

Listening to instrumentals from the silly doo-wee-ooo show is actually something that can be so painful.

#doctor who #doctor who music #murray gold #segun akinola #musings about music #this is specifically about 10's theme in vale decem. the long song in 11's regen piece. and clara's theme in face the raven / clara's diner #i get psychic damage everytime i simply hear the use of the motifs elsewhere because of the tragic associations those sadder renditions hav #obviously these songs aren't the only examples in doctor who but they are by far the most emotionally devastating ones for me personally #and obviously it isn't just leitmotifs either. basically hearing any piece that played during a sad scene gets to me. #how are you supposed to explain to your coworkers that you're tearing up because of instrumental sound association? #'yeah sorry these violins and humming sounds summoned vivid images of my favourite character dying/leaving and it made me sad' #love that composers can just straight up pavlov bell your emotions by getting you to associate a melody with a sad scene #an addition to this is doctor who instrumentals that make me nostalgic because I associate them with my own past #like 'this is gallifrey: our childhood. our home'. that song was one of my alarms for a good long while back when i was 15ish #so it kinda transports me back to that time in my life whenever i hear it. music really is its own little kind of time travel #i am very much looking forward to the continuing psychological damage murray gold will inflict upon me in the new season #and to have previously uplifting character leitmotifs used against me and forever be contaminated with sad feelings. love to see it #(also: not a instrumental but damn 'the stowaway' has no right being as good as it is. who knew a christmas sea shanty could sound so great #apologies for this probably niche-ish post (is it niche to know ost title's by heart? asking for friend). just feeling things about music

[ox1-lovesick]

hi

#life update nobody asked for lol #I missed you guys my pookie wookie dookies #I deleted all my social media and life is so great wow #still a lot of mental health problems but I'm finally learning to deal with my emotions and not hate life (wow) #is it bad for me to say I'm so glad I left blr #I will probably never come back here lol but I think (?) today is txt's debut anniversary and since I am the self proclaimed empress of moa #downgrading to a flip phone actually #I unstanned txt and all the kpop peoples too (SHOCKER) #I do feel really nostalgic and sad when I think about them but I think it was the thing I needed most #delulu is infact not the solulu #daydreaming about beomgyu being the new student at my school and being soobin's bestie was never the greatest idea hey #it's so freeing to not care about them and focus on what's infront of me #if you need a sign to start growing out of kpop and start worrying about your own life here it is babe 😭 don't let anybody give you shit #Not to say kpop is bad or anything I just think for me it was getting a bit out of hand #As much as we all make fun of the delulus it's so easy to fall down that spiral when these idols constantly tell you they love you #The parasocial relationship was REAL istg these people felt like my friends #Hueningkai does not give a FUCK about me and he is so real for that #Thinking about deleting this blog but I'm logging off after this so I very well may forget it exists again #But I just wanted to share what's been going on #And I miss you guys a lot #I may have outgrown kpop and tumblr but you all still have a special place in my heart #I miss the good old days 😭 when discord let's me back in I might visit wme #Not much has changed with me but mentally I feel like a whole new person #But I hope you all are doing GREAT #Living your best lives and doing things that make you happy #You owe it to yourself more than you owe these celebrities anything #xoxo savie 😝🤟🤟🔥🔥🔥

[sysig]

How is skeleton shaped (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Papyrus #Sans #Some redraws! I just don't feel like scanning the originals so they'll stay contextless for now lol #I apparently used to draw Papyrus' scarf/cape with a little squiggly bit down the middle of his chest as well :0 I think it looks silly now #The donk-pecks I was talking about! :D Give your sibling a family kiss ♪ As much as skeletons can anyhow lol #Papyrus was being silly and then leaned down fully expecting it lol - another thing smol and I do a lot haha #Sometimes doing the cat thing of headbutting for attention lol #Sad skele doodles! Oh no! D: Best boy is the saddest around </3 #I used to draw Papyrus' mouth as having teeth behind his teeth so I gave it another go - I think I'm good on it now lol I like his weird jaw #I don't know if I based the original eye-glows off anything specific :0 I wasn't as particular about my notes back then haha #He is still very fun to draw crying tho poor lad :') #Originally the second one of Papyrus with his eyes glowing had Sans comforting him with a forehead donk - even in this redraw! #But I got the angle wrong so I removed him and then had brainworms about it lol #Something something the player (the artist) controlling the appearance/experience and moving the pieces (the characters) around as they like #I already know all that! I've been metaphorically playing with dolls for years years years! It just never stops being weird #It's like being aware of my own breathing and blinking - it's ''natural'' and normal and there's obviously nothing wrong with it lol #There's just a level of awkward....Feeling surrounding awareness lol - intentionality! It's not like I can stop just because I'm aware of it #It's just so whimsical /neutral - if Sans had turned out how I wanted him to he'd be there comforting his brother! But because I... #As stated I have brainworms please excuse me lol #The level of weird feels between the various mediums is really interesting to me tho :) Being a player or reader or watcher or artist! #They all feel different - more or less in control of what happens to them and yet never fully without culpability hehe #Obviously as an artist it feels the most in control - even to my own empathetic detriment! (It's not that serious lol) #The difference between being a player and a reader is a lot closer than being a watcher tho imo it's like a spectrum of responsibility #Though that's kinda also just how I feel about media consumption in general lol - I guess one of those is technically media production #Anyway! Lol #I don't know where I got the idea that his hoodie is two-tone other than the separation of his pockets? #It is a cute design! Dunno if I'll keep it going forward just for convenience but I'm not mad about it lol