#and sure I get it a lot of us are defensive about the whole 'autistic character gets yelled at for not reading the room' thingy

[tarraxahum]

Okay now that I'm caught up (anime only) I can say with full understanding that I don't get the Toshiro(Shuro) hate. Like come on, the guy is flawed in his own (totally rooted in his culture and upbringing) way, just like literally every other character here. What.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #I suppose #like okay the 'uno reverse' jokes about him getting a female character in a way of a mlm ship treatment are kinda funny #and sure I get it a lot of us are defensive about the whole 'autistic character gets yelled at for not reading the room' thingy #but none of that warrants some of the shit that I've been seeing??? #how's that worse that what Marcille and Chilchuck have been doing to Laios the whole time prior? #'oh he courts Falin but isn't ready to do atrocities for her' well first of all as Kabru correctly called him out - he would be. #second of all that's a point worthy of a character analysis at best #not the HATE #sorry I just was kinda curious what the fuss was about and like? #the guy shows up for ONE episode (so far. idk what happens in manga yet) and mellows out by the end of it #and y'all are writing thinkpieces on how he ultimately sucks? maaan #I don't even care that much but UUUUUGH

[astraltrickster]

Dungeon Meshi is possibly the best case I've ever seen of fantasy being used as an extended study of casual racism. Most of our beloved blorbos are, in fact, casually racist in some way, including the central party. It's not treated as a good thing. Their ideas are not treated as true by the narrative. But most importantly, the characters are still treated as fully realized people who are likeable and doing their best...but operating under a skewed worldview. Casual racism is a character flaw, and a bad one, and not one that can turn into a benefit in the right situation; the closest it can come is...being mildly useful against shapeshifters.

But most importantly, it's explained by their life circumstances without excusing it. Laios is casually racist - in the kinds of ways that people in real life might be; he's Like This toward other groups of tallmen, even - because he isn't good with people in the first place, let alone enough so to question "ambient" attitudes toward "outsider" tribes or think about why deciding someone's name is too hard to really get right might just be a dick move (in other words, his casual racism exists in a way that a lot more white autistic people need to be aware can happen, tbh) - and he faces the consequences, some of which are fucking devastating (I straight up can't revisit the part where Toshiro admits he hates Laios because holy fucking shit it hits way too close to home to understand BOTH of their viewpoints that deeply, like I had to lay down after that one). Senshi is also casually fantasy-racist, because he's never been in extended contact with a multiracial group before - hell, he hasn't been in extended contact with ANY group since childhood. Marcille seemed like she was at her worst when arguing over the history of the orc war, but the deeper-running thing is that her stubbornness extends to a good bit of egomania; when she has what she thinks is a good idea, she thinks she knows better than anyone; we see this flaw with the mandrake incident and think a valuable lesson has been learned...only for it to REALLY rear its ugly head later, and what else could you expect? Elf culture is, itself, pretty damned racist. She's spent her whole life being told she's smarter and wiser than anyone from a shorter-lived race because ~with age comes wisdom~! That's not something that goes away overnight!

And Chilchuck, as the guy on the receiving end of so many of this society's shitty attitudes...in a lot of media, and hell, often in real life, with someone as initially cold and closed-off from his party as him, we would expect to see a whole scene where he apologized for the mistake of not trusting them...but we don't get that with him, as I honestly believe we shouldn't, because he had no way to know or even suspect that this party would be the one that wouldn't try to just use him as an expendable tool - and in fact, as established above, plenty of evidence to suspect that they very well might. He can't read minds. Any time he's up, he doesn't know how the party will respond if he dies - would they mourn, or would the last thing he heard while bleeding out just be "aw, shit! Where are we going to find another competent half-foot THIS deep into the dungeon!?" We know the answer, but we have every reason to understand that he does not. He's using very rational defensive tactics...against people, it turns out, he doesn't need to use them against, but he's not exactly WRONG to do so - you can't even call him mistaken; he's making the best decision he can with the information at hand (i.e., his history, their casual racism). He sees people who are not half-foots and fully expects them to exploit him based not on outside stereotypes but on his own history, and while it's not cruel, exactly, it sure does make things harder - more so on him than those around him - than they need to be.

And what I like about this is that the narrative says - yes, these racist and ignorant attitudes are bad. They do harm to the people who have to deal with them, both directly and indirectly. No, they aren't going to be 100% resolved in a single story arc; they have to be chipped away at slowly, bit by bit. Yes, they exist in fully realized people. They are the result of Living In A Society, not individually just being the most evil kind of motherfucker on the planet.

They might even - probably even - exist in you.

So maybe we should all be working on that a bit, hm?

#dunmeshi #in other words when i saw the short manga about the class assigned to write about the bunny people? #my reaction was ''...okay that explains a lot'' #id love to sit down and talk serious real world shit vs. fantasy with ryoko kui #also i could write a whole dissertation on the fact that you can read ALL of the main manga and never actually know toshiro's real name #like damn that is some fourth wall fuckery with the concepts right there #like we have to question what WE know from the canon #very powerful use of unreliable narration all around

[randomshit657]

Community HeadCannons because I can

Abed

- This is canon but is Autistic

- When overwhelmed or having trouble speaking he’ll use the word “cool” for every answer. Like to mean yes, no, okay, etc. (once again borderline canon.)

- Has dyscalculia

- Had ARFID

- Bisexual and Agender

- Hate watches Supernatural and Greys Anatomy

- Hyper-empathic when it comes to inanimate objects

- Let’s Annie paint his nails

Jeff

- Has narcissistic personality disorder specifically covert narcissism

- Bisexaul

- Has ADHD

- Practices “Winger Speech’s” in the bathroom mirror

- Knows sign language

- Would most definitely listen to Dad Rock

- Views both Abed and Annie as younger siblings (just pretend all the Jeff/Annie stuff never happened. It always seemed weird to me)

- Makes sure he watches every movie Abed references (although he’ll deny that until the day he dies)

- Goes to Pride with Abed, Annie, and Troy (although they have to practically drag him the first time, but now he goes all in)

Troy

- Has ADHD literally no doubt in my mind

- Transmasc

- Gay and on the Asexual Spectrum

- Still believes in The Easter Bunny, The Tooth fairy, etc

- Loves stuffed animals but only has one very raggedy one from his childhood

- Religious Trauma

- Would try to do research on Autism, and Islam to try and understand Abed better but would keep getting distracted and get so frustrated he started crying. Annie would end up reading the stuff to him and helping him understand it.

- Loves the color purple

- Has always wanted a dog and is constantly bringing home strays

- Not really about him but when Troy gets Top Surgery Abed would drive him home and take care of him while he healed

- Listens to cheesy pop music

Annie

- I was going to say Audhd but what if she was misdiagnosed with ADHD as a kid but actually had Autism so that’s where the whole adderal addiction came from.

- Lesbian but with a lot of internalized homophobia

- Has always wanted a pet snake

- Has taken multiple self defense classes

- Is really into true crime

- Celebrates every year of sobriety one way or another (as she gets more comfortable with the group she invites them and they celebrate together)

- Loves heavy metal music and classical music

- Is surprisingly good at art

- Is the one who introduced Abed to Greys Anatomy

- Writes fanfic

Britta

- Transfem

- Exclusively listens to indie music

- Is secretly a Broadway nerd

- I honestly don’t have that much for her

Shirley

- Starts of as homophobic but as she gets to know everyone she starts to question whether her religion is entirely right about that point.

- She becomes a huge ally. Would wear a free mom hugs shirt to pride.

- Is the mom of the study group

- Her purse is pretty much magically whatever you need she has it in there (that includes stim toys, and noise canceling head phones for Abed and the other neurodivergents)

That’s it :))

#community tv #troy x abed #abed community #abed nadir #troy community #trobed #troy barnes #jeff winger #annie edison #britta perry #shirley bennett #oh no #i accidentally forgot to add Pierce #how sad #autistic abed #autisic #autistic Annie #adhd Troy #lesbian Annie #Agender Abed

[cupio-stardust]

In defense of 8-Ball

A lot of people in the BFDI community don’t really care for 8-Ball, and that leads to a lot of people mischaracterizing him. Because of this, I decided to make a mini essay ranting on several topics relating to him. This includes the following:

-Mischaracterization in the fandom

-His relationships with other characters

-His missed potential

With that said, let’s start with the first section!

Mischaracterization in the fandom

I can’t stress how much it infuriates me whenever I see a piece of content that portrays him as an asshole. 😭

I know it’s easy to see him like that, since he almost makes his team lose twice. But the thing is, he’s not as bad as people make him out to be. When both TB and GB died, there was pretty much no one else to lead the team to victory. 8-Ball, however, took initiative and became the “temporary” team leader. I honestly think it says a lot that he was willing enough to take on a role like that in a dire situation. Sure, you could say he was rude to ignore Grassy, but let’s be real, would YOU want to be led by the literal child of the group who does nothing besides say his name? (By this point at least that was all he did) And hey, he wasn’t THAT bad of a leader either. Yeah, he use TB’s contraption, but fair use I guess.

Also, it’s not like he was bullying Grassy, he was just more focused on the game. In fact, it’s actually GB who was bullying Grassy, but I don’t see many people hate on her for that? (This is not GB slander btw! I love her)

While yes, most of his dialogue boils down to, “I don’t have a favorite number” it’s important to note that it’s not his ENTIRE character. He’s smart when he needs to be, as shown when he used TB’s contraption in an admittedly smarter way than GB. Plus, he genuinely cares about his team. Even though it doesn’t seem like it, you have to remember that he went (with Blocky) to Four to ask him to bring back GB and TB. If he didn’t care about them, he probably would’ve held off from it and just continued to lead the team himself until they inevitably came back.

I think the fact that 8-Ball’s whole reason for the team leader thing makes him seem so much better than how he’s normally perceived. He just wanted to lighten up the mood by making jokes, but he just took it too far by not realizing that it was actively harming their team dynamic. When he realized this, he apologized in an oddly genuine way to GB. The fact that he took accountability just goes to show that he’s a pretty decent guy who may or may not be autistic. /hj

His relationships with other characters

This is probably gonna be my favorite section lol. I absolutely love his banter with the others, especially with GB. Speaking of GB, let’s start with her!

8-Ball and GB’s little rivalry is honestly really fun to watch. The way they continuously fight for the attention of their team members, their small moments of bickering, it’s just so sjahjwzjhsjshsh

At first, GB hates him because in her eyes; he’s an asshole who tries to sabotage the team and steal her role as team leader. But when 8-Ball apologizes, she admits herself that he isn’t that bad of a guy/“a completely useless moronic dumb robot”.

After that, they don’t get many more interactions, which is unfortunate because they had such a fun dynamic! I would genuinely pay so much money just to see them have more one on one conversations. 8-Ball’s teasing + Golfball’s temper would’ve been a nice way to spice up the interactions of ABNTT. But alas, we can only dream. :(

I also wish that he got more interactions with the EXITors, since they have the feeling of a found family, so 8-Ball being included in that would be nice.

His Missed Potential

Sighhhhhh, this is the most annoying part of this whole thing: the missed potential of 8-Ball.

It bothers me that he was eliminated so early on in the series. Even though his “arc” was pretty much completed, there was still room for them to expand on him. Like I stated in the previous section, his interactions with GB could’ve served as nice comic relief, along with perhaps touching on his comedian side a little more? Maybe learning to crack jokes that fit the situation, and making sure that they don’t hurt people. ALSO! There could’ve also been more interactions between other characters besides GB and Basketball. Like maybe TB or Blocky? Hell, even Grassy. Oh yeah, and they could’ve also expanded on why he’s so adamant on convincing others he doesn’t have a favorite number. And maybe, just maybe, a little angst? Typing this all out is annoying because there was SO MUCH potential but they missed out on it. 💔

Conclusion

Ending off this small rant, I just hope in future TPOT episodes he gets more than one line per episode. (His only lines so far have literally been “Four’s back, let’s go!” and “Blah blah blah blah”) At the very least, I hope this short essay has made you like him a little more than before, or even like him more!

#bfdi #battle for bfb #tpot #8 ball bfb #rant post #ramblings #Ireallylike8ballguyscanyoutell #appreciation post #idk where i was going with this

[boodlesofdoodles]

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5

So like I think maybe Charlie is actually really good at baking?? He’s probably memorized a few of Bonnie’s recipes and occasionally bakes himself something when he’s feeling upset. Kind of a coping mechanism to actually bake, and the familiar smells that fill a kitchen comfort him as much as the taste of his mom’s brownies do. There’s a sense of pride that fills him when he gets the recipe exact. He really only knows a few recipes, and he’s DEFINITELY super secret about it. Baking is something that makes him feel kind of embarrassed and he doesn’t let the gang know about it.

He might let Mac know eventually, maybe Mac is feeling down or he’s sick or something and Charlie is like “whenever I felt sick mom would bake me something. Fuck it I’m gonna make Mac something.” and brings over a small batch of cookies, careful to hide it from Dennis. Mac is absolutely dumbfounded that the cookies are so good and tries to come up with a scheme to start selling them almost immediately lmao. Charlie is not at all interested and after a lot of insisting, Mac finally gets the hint and just enjoys the cookies and his buddy’s ability to bake. Soon enough Mac is secretly encouraging Charlie to bake more often (and have him taste test everything he makes, obviously) and after a few times visiting realizes Charlie really only makes like 4 things. When Mac asks him about it he gets immediately defensive, rambling like crazy, “Why the hell would I need to bake more stuff? Are you saying my Mom’s stuff isn’t enough, dude? My mom makes really good stuff. You’re over here drooling every time I make you one of her recipes! Don’t go saying shit about her stuff, Mac. You love this shit, I don’t need to make other shit.”

“No, no! Charlie, Christ dude, fucking calm down, will you?” Mac trying his best to deescalate the hostility he accidentally brought on the pair of them. “I’m just saying maybe you should branch out some more. It could be fun to try some new stuff, is all!”

I don’t feel like writing out a whole conversation rn but basically it boils down to Charlie not really understanding the measurements, and it trips him up too much to keep trying new recipes; that’s the reason he sticks with what he knows. At first he did try looking up some different recipes but got extremely frustrated and felt so stupid trying to understand it. Nothing ever came out right so he just gave up on other stuff. When it comes to Bonnie’s recipes he doesn’t even need to measure anything he’s made them so much he just eyeballs it and it usually comes out relatively the same every time, which is good enough for him. The ‘Mac hanging out and just keeping Charlie company while he bakes something’ quickly comes to an end; now Mac is teaching Charlie the metric system and what different abbreviations in recipes online mean. He goes out and buys measuring cups for Charlie and shows him how to use them. He makes a cheat sheet with easy to follow drawings of the different measuring cups and which ones he needs to use for cup, ounce, tablespoon, etc. They try out new recipes together and Charlie starts to become more confident with it. Eventually he goes over to Mac and Dennis’ with a new recipe he looked up and tried all on his own, without Mac there to help him with reading all of it and Mac is SO incredibly proud of him. Gushing about how good of a job he did :,) anyways yeah that’s all I got I just adore the idea so much I needed to get it out of my system. As someone who’s autistic (like we’re pretty sure Charlie is) I personally love to bake because of how precise everything is as compared to cooking. I don’t have to think about how it’ll come out and I don’t have to experiment with anything. Just follow very clear instructions. I think Charlie would feel the same way and enjoy the 0 guesswork that goes into the process of baking from a recipe. Thank you if anyone read all this. PLEASE comment or message me or fucking anything about what y’all think about this concept

#idk what this is #rambling #like. a LOT of rambling #shout out to angelic Charlie Kelly #encouraging me to ramble was a bold move #charmac #iasip #kinda turned weird w adding some dialogue #I just have a lot of thoughts #like I said earlier #just randomly thought about this #desperately needed to share it #anyone please read this and lmk opinions #ramblings

[dullahandyke]

Ok ok ok dgs case 3 time wooo!!

Btw loving the sherlock Holmes openings to all the chapters. Cool

Also love ryuu and susatos little travelling outfits... he has a hat :)

Also also I'm not really one for period dramas so maybe this is a common thing but I like how colourful it makes London look instead of the whole 'Ye Olde World Had No Colours Ever' like I went to London once and it didnt look as nice as this

The gavel slamming sfx whenver it says the date and place is so awful tho... grating on me ears

Office is cool as fuck tho. Gears moving yayyy totally not ominous bgm yayyyyy I feel like the gears r probs just an imposing set piece but itd b really cool if they were used in some way. Probably couldnt quite pull off a great mouse detective but like they're fairly tall I imagine there are Things up there that you cant quite reach that could be evidence in some case or another

He appears... I like his clock gimmick a lot but mael stronghart is a bit of a pisser of a name. I'm gonna keep calling him hart vortex because vortex is cool

'We're never happier than when we're standing around doing nothing' SO TRUE RYUU KING!!!!!

Birds in the bg... so that's what's on the gears theres a bunch of birds nests. :)

We have asougis arm band now.... :( waaaaa

I love susatos little encyclopedia so muchhhh I've said it before but we need to get her wikipedia. I know that considering game 2 things its popular hc that she becomes a lawyer later in life but I think she would really really enjoy herself as an encyclopedist or a librarian

'Theres something soothing about the clocks precise rhythm' ok well that's not a particularly autistic sentiment but I'm saying it is. Ryuu autist for life!!!

'We spearhead every revolutionary new technology in the world here in London' sure jan

'The sun will never set on our great empire' DECOLONISATION BEAM ATTACK!!!!!!!! If I see the end of the British empire in my life I will be a very happy man indeed

Vortex asking if ryuu is willing to commit to everything asougi planned... ominous

'If you get this man found innocent I'll let you be a lawyer' unsuspicious! Let's go for it <3

'If theres no defense then the defendant will get the max punishment automatically' surely that's not how that works

Omg I can ask susato what to do... yessss shes an assistant proper!!!!

Oh I was expecting the old bailey to be a bit more grand. Looks a bit piss

NOT THE TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA 😭😭😭😭😭 and the written Irish accent...

Tho given what I know of megundal the fact that he Does have such a noticeable accent is a bit of character... like hes so much dressed to the nines and the man with the money that youd think he would have ditched the Irish accent. When does dgs happen again? After the famine, before the rising? Youd imagine hed give up either the accent or the posh aesthetic given how badly they clash - outfit prevents him from fitting in with 'fellow people down on their luck', accent prevents him from appearing entirely affluent

#the gaelic athletic attorney

[bogkeep]

i think. that if My Trauma™ has taught me anything, is that a lot of the time, what makes something Malicious Manipulation is the context.

like, of course we want to be able to tell when someone is trying to decieve us, and there are plenty of phrases to raise red flags and linguistic tricks designed to rope us along, to be sure... but someone saying the truth in a kind way and someone lying with ill intent can say the exact same thing. the difference is that one does not match up with reality. and yeah, that's scary! that's the whole thing about trust!! every time i see an analysis of someone's behaviour on social media with a framing of that person being SUSPICIOUS and MANIPULATIVE, it honestly really fucks with my head because ANYTHING can be posited as Suspicious and Manipulative. blocked people? didn't reply to every message from strangers? didn't publicly adress a topic or a controversy? took a break from the internet? said literally anything at all??? sounds like normal and healthy social media behaviour to ME, but what do i know! anyone who has the misfortune of finding themself the target of a smear campaign will quickly find that there's Nothing you can say or do that doesn't look Suspicious. if even a genuine effort to rectify a mistake or explain what happened can be seen as MANIPULATING THE MASSES, what chance do you have if you react in a normal, human way to being bullied? or, on the flip side, if you hold on to bad faith and read it in everything, if even generic niceness creeps you out, if there is no way for anyone to prove their innocence or humanity to you - that doesn't seem like a pleasant way to live, either. nor is constantly worrying if anything you say will come off as Malicious or Manipulative.

like, yeah. there's shitty people out there. i don't have any good advice on avoiding them. i trust easy, i often forget people can Just Go On The Internet And Tell Lies - yes i am quite autistic thank you - and my main two defenses are "i don't like the thing you're saying, either because the contents are bad or because the contents don't make any sense" and "the things you're saying and the things you're doing don't match up". those only really work if i trust myself enough, and sometimes that's hard, too.

anyway those are another two cents nobody asked for but you're getting anyway

#too long for twitter #on one hand i didnt super want to write a Blog Post on this because it's a very unpleasant traumafoggy greasy eel of a topic #but also it's been on my mind for a while and it was kind of an epiphany to me that brought me some peace of mind #after years of constantly worrying if im being Maliciously Manipulative by accident it's like #ah. there's no manual for how to be trustworthy. #i didn't miss a step or say the wrong thing #i just have to trust that people will trust me too. and i can do my best to stick to my principles #also i clarify Malicious Manipulation because manipulation as a term is extremely vauge and not inherently Bad and Evil #asking someone nicely to do the dishes is a form of manipulation! having any kind of discussion of opinion is manipulation! #those are perfectly benign. same with lying - there's many contexts where lying is perfectly fine and socially acceptable or necessary

[brightlotusmoon]

Diary Of A Mom:

A couple of days ago, Sora at Angry, Asian, and Autistic wrote, “Teach your autistic kids about consent. I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating because I see evidence of it everywhere, that folks aren’t doing it. I don’t care if it’s a hard thing to teach, and/or you’re not 100% sure if your autistic child will ever fully understand what consent and boundaries are. Do it anyway. I promise it’s worth the effort. They are worth the effort.”

It’s something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. And by lately, I mean the last, oh, ten years or so?

The thing is, a lot of us roll our eyes when we’re told to teach something to our kids because we think that it means, “Sit down and talk to your child about this topic.”

For a lot of kids with developmental disabilities, that’s just not how they learn. For them, introducing a complex and highly nuanced topic through conversation is like trying to teach surgery while waterskiing.

So we get defensive. We think, “You know nothing about my kid. YOU try lecturing him about consent. Good luck,” and we pick up our ball and walk away.

I submit that we need to broaden our idea of what it means to teach our children.

Before we scoop a two year old out of their high chair, do we say, “May I pick you up?”

When we’re tickling our three year-old and, even through gales of laughter, she says, “No more!” do we stop or do we teach her that she didn’t really mean it?

When an uncle goes in for a hug and our kid recoils, do we insist that he hug him anyway?

When our third grader steps out of line, does the teacher casually take her by the shoulders and reposition her?

When our autistic ten year old is struggling to tie his shoes, do we guide him, hand-over-hand without waiting to see if that’s okay?

There are a thousands ways to teach consent that have nothing to do with talking.

Brooke has a script that long ago sprouted from Frosty the Snowman. She asks if we want some Summer Wheeze. The bit is that we’re supposed to taste it. If it’s summer, it’s delicious. Any other time of year, it’s terrible and we make a big show of how awful it is. (Listen, people, I don’t write this stuff, I’m just here to report it.)

Anyway, she offers the Summer Wheeze. If it’s not summer, I say no. She says, “Aw, c’mon, try it.” I resist. She insists. We go back and forth a few times until I inevitably give in and take a sip. It’s been a script for so long that I stopped really hearing it.

A couple of months ago, I heard it. And I didn’t like what I heard. So I told her that. I told her that it made me uncomfortable … and why. I told her that even though it was just a game, we needed to remember to respect each other’s boundaries.

Those words had no meaning for her, so I changed them. I told her that when someone says no, we need to stop what we’re doing. That nothing should happen to anyone’s body that they don’t want. So if she says no, I need to stop. If I say no, she needs to stop.

We’re still working on it. We’ll likely be working on it for a long time.

The reality is that many of our autistic kids have been trained to comply with whomever is in authority. No matter how we try to pretty it up, the crux of a whole lot of that therapy that everyone told us was the key to their futures was compliance. Want a reward? Do what the adult is telling you to do. Doesn’t matter what it is. Doesn’t matter why. Doesn’t matter if it’s uncomfortable or painful or makes no earthly sense to you, your job is simply to do what you’re being told to do.

Hand-over-hand instruction, physical guidance, palms on each side of the face to force focus … No one is asking for their consent. No one is showing them that it matters. In fact, we’re expressly teaching them that it doesn’t.

So we’re reframing the script. We’re talking about it in the way that we talk about things. A little bit at a time. Retracing our steps. Circling back. Doing it all again. And most importantly, modeling it. *Demonstrating* what it means.

So, yeah, I couldn’t agree more with Sora that we need to teach our autistic children about consent. And I submit that we need to broaden our idea of what it means to teach our children.

#diary of a mom #being autistic #disability advocacy #we need to change the conversation #ableism #being neurodivergent #this is very important

[drdemonprince]

I have read your article about the pros and cons of Seeking an Autism Diagnosis. I think it makes some very good points. I would like to add my own point of view. At the beginning, it will sound like a far stretch to autism but hear me out :)

I am a transgender woman and my egg cracked right in the middle of the pandemic, a few months after my first, but quite traumatic, ulcerative colitis flare. After many years of overworking myself and drinking way too much on the week-ends, I just reached a point where my body told me “this has to stop”, I felt completely powerless and desperate. I had to implement self-care in my life, it was a matter of survival. The tricky part is that I have been hating myself and pretending to know who I was for so long. My whole life was about alienation. Worse, now I could not use the crutches I was used to. To move on with the transition I had to dig deep down within myself and it was scary and confusing and complicated. I did not feel I was trans enough to transition and I did not feel like talking with “regular” therapists was  helping, I felt misunderstood. At the same time, my gf and I spoke a lot, we knew I had some autistic traits but were never sure. I thought I was not autistic enough to search for a diagnosis. I got even more confused the day I learnt a lot of people on the autism spectrum are also trans or non-binary. 

I was paralyzed by wanting to transition but hating change but at the same time really wanting to have the benefits from HRT and surgeries. I was just going deeper into depression and not taking care of myself. I then thought looking for a formal autism diagnosis would maybe help me with the transition. If I was autistic, it would mean it was valid enough to transition. At this point, you will probably tell me “and you got yet another crutch”. But I can reply: maybe not, if you hear the rest of the story ? 

A week after having the diagnosis, I felt relieved and decided to call my parents to talk about it. I figured talking about my autism would be a good rehearsal for my coming out. The discussion went very bad. My mother especially was very defensive. I ended up crying. I cut all communication with them, I needed time to think. I ended up realizing I had seen how my parents really are as persons. And it was the most freeing moment I had in my life. I started to understand all the BS and the power they had over me, even by appearing as nice and caring. This experience enabled me to move on with my transition and un-shackle myself. It was a rough time but I finally can start to heal. I started HRT 4 months ago, bought feminine clothes last week and I am going at my own pace. I now know I can do it, it just started to click after that discussion. I know I will never use my diagnosis for anything else and at the time I decided I needed it was for completely different reasons, but now I really know why it was useful.

Thank you for reading me, feel free to give me your perspective on that. I just wanted to say people search for a diagnosis for many different reasons.

Thanks for sharing your experience with me. I guess my question would be, if you were in a country where it was necessary to get a gender identity disorder diagnosis in order to transition, would going out and getting that diagnosis have also given you the same kind of relief?

it kinda sounds to me like you took kind of a circuitous route to finding some credentialed authority who would sign off on your self identity in one fashion, so that you could feel okay about having the right to define yourself at all in any fashion. and i think you can be freer than that and deserve to be.

but like im glad it worked out! im glad you got the external permission that made you feel okay giving yourself the permission to do what you had already wanted. i hope you (and all of us) can get to the point where just wanting to do something is enough reason to do it.

i had to take a very complicated and indirect route to giving myself permission to be trans as well, of a different sort. so i do remember what those doubts were like and how impossible they are to intellectually argue away. shoutout to A Safe Girl to Love by Casey Plett and shit ton of high intensity erotic hypnosis for getting me past the point of intellect and into the realm of intuitively feeling what i had known all along

[albinism-awareness]

So, I've already read up a bit on general albinism medical facts and stereotypes and such so I mostly want to ask for a vibe check on some magic/magic adjacent stuff?

I've got this dude that's basically the reason I did the research, he starts out as a witch/witch's apprentice*. This is overall a high-magic-ish world and most of the main characters are involved with some kind of magic (I also want to drive it home that it's a coincidence in-story; I assume it'd be a similar situation to "It's fine if your autistic character has magic, but be careful how you do it"?).

The thing I'm less sure about is that at some point in his early twenties he decides to fight a vampire**, which is a bad idea but one he actually does consult a seer about, who basically proceeds to lie to him because she decided that having someone functionally immortal who knows witchcraft and has been taught to protect the village and people in general since childhood would be great for a vague horrible thing she can kind of glimpse at? So she basically knowingly sends him to get turned into a vampire by a mad scientist vampire.

He doesn't stay one forever (he becomes a demigod eventually which undoes the whole "kind of undead" thing), but I understand that having a vampire with albinism could be kind of questionable even with the context of "these two things are completely unrelated, he's just really unlucky".

Overall he's generally a heroic if tragic character in the sense that a lot of huge responsibilities (Saving the world! Defeating god! Defeating another god!) get dumped on him by virtue of him being both somewhat more powerful than actual mortal mortals now and having the time to theoretically be able to plan things long term, but also to some degree because nobody else will deal with it. Also the whole "unwilling transformation and being forced to work together with the person that indirectly did it to him". I guess in a lot of ways he's almost a classic heroic archetype but with oodles of trauma and the soul crushing horror of being in a fight where your odds of succeeding are absolutely abysmal.

I think I'm good on most of the other pitfalls (he's not evil, has vision issues and uses a variety of accessability aids, mostly big hats, sunglasses and magnifying lenses and has blue eyes as a kid which later change to purple explicitly because of a magical things happening to him-something fairly common for people that get hit by that kind of magical thing), but this one I'm really not confident in.

*Basically, a kind of person that uses magic the way a chemist uses chemistry that doesn't rely on innate talent/magic power, which he has little of. He's pretty average/below average in that respect in this world.

**Vampires are generally integrated into society as a kind of super soldier for defense against all kinds of dangerous critters, though some go rouge and decide to murder people for blood rather than be provided through, I guess blood taxes but literally and not particularly sinister.

(so sorry for the late reply)

Dude! That sounds like an awesome story! :)

The only thing that I would ask you to reconsider is maybe something other than an albino witch? only because other than ghosts and vampires, witches are the number one stereotypical ‘creature’ that people compare people with albinism to because oftentimes in small tribes in Africa, people with albinism are thought of as containing mystical properties, thus are hunted for limbs, teeth, hair, eyes, etc. and are usually eaten/consumed. (Keep in mind this isn’t true for all African places, just really small tribes). But that’s the reason the witch thing can be seen as offensive.

And when it comes to fighting, keep in mind that if your character does have albinism, long range weapons would probably be out of the question because of our visual impairments, so long range weapons (guns, snipers, etc.) are likely out of the question. (I’m not sure if you gave them weapons, just putting down in general)

Hope this helps! :)

#albinism #albinism awareness #albinism help blog #awareness #disability #albino awareness #visual disability #answered #asks #anon

[hpmort]

In Defense of The Glass Princess

I didn’t properly appreciate the extent of “a million is a statistic” before today

When I was a little kid I watched a lot of nature documentaries

Because it was the new noughts and on-demand sucked

(I didn’t think so at the time

TiVo was a separate service that had just been invented

The ability to watch something that wasn’t live

That the cable box didn’t have to have watched live

That you didn’t have to go out and buy

On a disc or in a box

Was new and exciting)

A series of rectangles within rectangles

Boxes folding in

Silvery blue and blueish grey

In the upper right hand corner

A video on-loop played

A category

A subcategory

A channel

A show

An episode

I was a child with a clear sense of

RIGHT

and

WRONG

Which, of course

Was not necessarily the most reasonably

The boxes I limited myself to were

Kids

(Where I mostly play favorites

Not for moral reasons

Just brand loyalty)

Premium Channels

(Subcategory

Kids/Family)

and

Documentaries

(Or something like that

It was over a decade ago and I was probably younger than six)

Category

Subcategory

Channel

I took everything on the channels under

Documentary

(Or whatever it was)

As fact so

Yes I did find Ancient Aliens plausible

The thing about the not-for-kids channels I allowed myself

Is that they were genuinely

Not-for-kids

As in;

I watched graphic animal deaths

And other stuff with content warnings

Remember

It’s the noughnties

People didn’t give trigger warnings

It was “most extreme animal reproduction”

Or something

There were crappy cgi renderings of mites engaging in natal incest rape

Sharks eating eachother in the womb

And live footage of a hyena giving birth

(The last one is what had the content warning)

There was other graphic animal stuff

As I said earlier

Mostly violent death

There wasn’t really much interest in violent mating habits

Yeah the mantis eats her mate

Parasitoidism exists

But that was mainly it

Because it was more about death than sex

(Fair enough)

Anyways

When I was in second grade or whatever

I was getting disillusioned with My Little Pony

Because my only exposure had been G3

And G3 was fairly low conflict

(A complaint that led me to

later

after watching like three episodes

Give Friendship is Magic a one star review

On the website “Common Sense Media”

Under a cringy name I had derived

From an absurd escapist world I had created

That I later tried to theme my birthday party around

(?)

(My pre-teen years were not kind to me)

(One year later I became a fake brony

Because I liked their general energy and level of engagement

And was desperate for a sense of community))

My father

Perhaps concerned about internalized misogyny

Or just wanting to know what to buy me that wasn’t a video game

Or an anime

(The T rating of Super Smash Bros Melee

And the fact that anime was not necessarily kid friendly

And the anime that was was not necessarily in english

Surely made the certainty appealing)

Bought me

My Little Pony: The Complete First Season

(He did not buy the movie

Which made the whole thing even more confusing

Then it already was

But I was a small child

(An autistic one at that)

And so was used to being confused about most things

So it didn’t matter)

G1 My Little Pony was insane and enthralling

It was baffling

It was amazing

I experienced good autistic representation in the form of Best Pony Windwhistler

(I was still in denial at the time and convinced that my diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome was the mark of a conspiracy

That was against me

But only in the abstract sense

I thought that it was a conspiracy to artificially inflate standardized test scores

Where I was center

So while the conspiracy wasn’t specifically against me

My role in it meant that it was in opposition to me and my flourishment)

We got

The Quest of the Princess Ponies and Other Stories

Before the movie so I also managed to have a completely inaccurate understanding of what an orc looked like

For literal years

Because the titular

Quest of the Princess Ponies

Featured “orcs”

Who one would never in a hundred years think was an orc

If they had not already been told they were

It is commonly held

Among the fans of the first generation My Little Pony series

That Quest of the Princess Ponies

Is one of the best serials

And that

The Glass Princess

Is one of the worst

I disagree

The reasons given that

The Quest of the Princess Ponies

Is a particularly good serial

Are impressively shallow

And consist largely

Of the presence of orcs and demons

And the fact that the princesses fucking hate eachother

And are

“conspiring against eachother”

(This consists of being bitchy to eachother with some petty levels of normal sibling sabotage

And kidnapping Spike and making him choose who shall rule)

For the crown

(The powers that it entails being vague and perhaps nonexistent

Considering the ultimate resolution

Once they’re done running around in a cave with the orcs and demons

Is that they should take turns being queen)

Although the part I admit is charming is rarely mentioned;

The eternal blood war between orcs and demons is because they can never shake hands as friends

Literally

Because demons are fire elementals and orcs are ice elementals

So Spike brings peace by holding the hand

Of a fire demon

And an ice orc

At the same time

And shaking it for them

The main complaints about

The Glass Princess

(Aside from unusually bad animation

Which means little given how terrible it is on a good day;

The twinkle-eyed ponies have evidently forgotten to put their eyes in

Given how common it is to see them with just circles)

Are as follows

Shady is whiny

And

Princess Porcina is inconsistently written

I have always liked Shady

She is depressed

She is anxious

She is full of self-loathing

I honestly saw a lot of myself in her

And found her a complex and well-written character

Doing something right

Doesn’t make you feel good

You feel guilty and think that you could have

Should have

Done it right before

Because if you can do this

Why can’t you do that other thing?

The one everyone says is easier?

I also always thought that Princess Porcina was written well

I’ve noticed it a lot

People completely ignoring something terrible happening far away

But immediately helping someone in front of them

You can order a hundred deaths

But if you see someone dying

You feel the need to help them

And that’s what she does

When everyone is so far away

She feels nothing

Why not turn them to glass?

They’re not there

They don’t matter

But when she sees someone turn to glass in front of her

Sees their horror

The panic they feel

When they know that it’s coming

She can’t stand it

She’s forced to face what she’s done

And

She

Stops

That’s normal

I think

Today

Friday

The second of June

In the year two thousand and twenty three

Driving home with

(Being driven home by)

A friend

This evening

I saw six goslings with their mom

One was clearly

Cleanly dead

One was normal roadkill

One was injured but moving along

One was injured and struggling to move

(But I was sure

That if we stopped

We could have gotten it

To a veterinary hospital)

One was fine

And one was cleanly eviscerated

Its entrails torn across the road

Miraculously whole

The uninjured one

And the slightly hurt one

Were following their mother

Who seemed clearly distressed

(Obviously

She was

But I don’t know goose body language

And so what I took as one form of grief or trauma could have been shock or something else)

My friend was clearly shaken

I asked her why we didn’t stop to get the one that was down

But still moving

She was panicking

And didn’t really answer

She

At least

I could recognize distress in

(And yes

Some of it was shock)

She spoke with disgust and horror of the driver in front of us

I pointed out that the eviscerated one was in another lane

She hasn’t seen it

The very idea seemed to horrify her further

I tried to look on the “bright side”

(As she often does)

If we had stopped to bring the injured one to a veterinary hospital

She would have seen the eviscerated one

She looked sick enough as it was

And admitted that

Despite the prescription-strength anti acids she was on

That if she had see that gosling

With its organs torn out

She could have thrown up

(Which

While she didn’t mention it

Would probably have made things harder to help the badly injured one

I can’t imagine driving with a goose in a car with a windshield full of vomit)

I comforted her

Said I was fine

She was gentler

Softer

The Canada Goose has a conservation status of “Least Concern”

It’s not important

These things happen all the time

I know this

(My friend offers a prayer for the goslings

And tries to think of another

I offer to show her the Word Wildlife Foundation

So she can see what species she can symbolically adopt to honor the gosling

There are no waterfowl on that list

Boobies are seabirds)

I cannot fall asleep

I cannot shake my uncomfortable feelings

I am sad yet struggle to try

I feel guilty

I don’t think that anything I could have seen or read

Could have desensitized me

I wish it did

#poetry #poetry kind of #free verse poem #prose poem #free verse #my little pony #discourse #media discourse #media philosophy #my writing #my works #my poetry #cw animal abuse #so that was my day #graphic depictions of violence

[paige-pup]

but the whole point of their post was, in a very gentle and sympathetic way, that if you cannot eat veggies you need to find a way to be able to.

I understand that there are many reasons why someone might struggle with eating vegetables (hi! autistic person here! I am not scoffing at those issues - I still literally can’t eat brussel sprouts without throwing up!)

But long term, the malnutrition of not getting vegetables in your diet WILL kill you, and in the meantime it will make your mental health, your energy levels, and your physical health significantly worse. I get that you have friends who aren’t dead yet - that’s because you guys are young. If your friends do not start working on this now, they are not going to have the long lives they deserve.

The post didn’t say “if you can’t stomach vegetables tough shit, go eat a plate of broccoli right now.” It said that is a problem that you genuinely need to work on, and find solutions that work for you. Try new ways of cooking and preparing them. Experiment with recipes you can hide them in. Look into foods designed for getting veggies into small kids, e.g those dinosaur chicken nuggets with vegetables mixed into the meat. I’m sorry, I know it’s not fair and I know it’s really easy to fall into defensiveness if it feels like someone is scoffing at your disability, but part of having a disability IS finding ways that work for you to love yourself and keep yourself as healthy as possible.

People with issues around vegetables, yourself and your friends included, deserve better than to have you throw up your fists and defend something that will hurt and kill you.

so i totally get why you feel this way (and also i do eat vegetables not that it matters) because i also care a lot about my health but the post and my reply are talking about a specific group of people (pw eating disorders/sensory issues) and a significant portion of them cannot atm and will not ever be able to (this is also completely fine) and i cannot stress enough that this is not something that is just hard its impossible for some of us(i personally have been whooping my eating disorders ass but lots of people cant)

and all of those things you mentioned are great but they arent the end all be all like yall like to act like sure physical health is to *me* and probably you too but to other people (especially ones who cant)? because as someone with an eating disorder (i cant talk for ppl with sensory issues but i imagine its a similar experience) sometimes even when you want to eat youd rather starve and when its like that all you can do is ride it out and hope it ends but it doesnt for some people

also i fight for what i think is right and sure i do deserve better than to have to but people like you still exist so we cant all get what we want (:

[turnaboutwright]

Autistic Ramblings. Literally that’s IT

for a while i’ve had the autistic urge to explain to someone all my different “good luck” charms and the pocket tiger post made me realize i can just make a whole list explaining them here. so if you do happen to read this please like it but i also know it’s a personal thing that most people wouldn’t care about (and now has become rather long!) especially if you don’t know me. ANYWAYS. here we go. in no real particular order-!

-the coin i got at the Chattanooga aquarium last year when i visited for my birthday! it has paddlefish on it :) my best friend went with us that day and i have fond memories associated with it

-my prosecutors badge! obviously means a lot because it’s connected to my fav of all time but it was also a gift from my best friend in the first year i knew him and stays pinned to my hat, which i wear most of the time

-similarly my defense attorney badge! i got it years ago and it’s really good quality. has a good weight to it for a pin so i can’t pin it to my hat. i usually keep it in my pocket/wallet funnily enough (in aa usually phoenix/defense attorneys display their badges while edgeworth/prosecutors keep them in their pocket) but sometimes i pin it to my shirt if im wearing a button down

-ok last ace attorney thing lol. i have a really cool charm that has phoenix on one side and miles on the other. it’s one of the very few fandom etsy type things i’ve bought. it stays in my wallet most of the time

-my special rock!!! theres a stream/river that my mom and i love to visit and there was an area where the water made a little creek from the road down to the larger area and i could have watched it forever. i happened to spot a very very flat rock shaped like and arrowhead and with edges that almost let you see the layers. i felt a little bad about it but figured since it wouldn’t dislodge anything it’d be okay to take. it has a different recharging system than the others but i haven’t even gotten to that yet.

-my transformers figures! so pretty much all of them are cheap toys i bought while working fast food as rewards to myself after tough weeks but i’m glad to have them. i rotate them based on how i’m feeling that day. optimus is for long or tiring days when i think i’ll need strength to get through a shift. ratchet is for when i’m already exhausted before going into work or not feeling well in the morning. starscream and soundwave i usually just have as general support but i have a particular soundwave figure a friend gave me that i take when i want to remember them and their support.

-transformers...2! just a funny note. i put those guys in my lunch box when i go to work but usually make sure they go in my locker and not the fridge. especially if i took starscream that day. i get the feeling my day would end up having some kind of negative note if i left him in there. same with ratchet but that’s more because i can imagine him complaining and he doesn’t deserve it really

-my dragon spinner ring! one of my oldest charms that i still have. technically i’ve lost it again (there was a time i couldn’t find it for years after we moved) but i’m pretty sure its in my room somewhere. i got it several several years ago at the renaissance festival. i think it’s the only thing my dad’s gotten me that i consider really special. obviously i love spinning it and it really does look cool.

okay! those are all my current “good luck” items that i use fairly regularly. i probably have others tucked away. pretty much any small trinket i’m gifted from someone who means a lot to me becomes one of these items

i also have a recharging system for them that i consider fairly important! mainly it just means that after a few consecutive days of ‘using’ a particular charm it has to ‘recharge’ or it won’t help me as much if at all. listen. i KNOW they don’t actually do anything. but it’s the thought that counts and this system helps me feel better. so i make sure to let my charms rest out of respect for what they do for me and so they can continue to help me.

basically this just means that they go into my bedside drawer for a few days usually. while my rock can recharge like this it won’t be fully up to strength till i dunk it in a body of water again. any water helps but it’s especially charged after i let it soak in the stream i got it from for a minute. i can only do this maybe once a month though.

also shout out to my original charm that “recharged”! it was a pendant, also from the renaissance festival i believe, that was kinda rectangular with curved edges and made out of glass. it was deep blue/purple, had a sorta square pattern going on inside, and was slightly smaller than my thumb. anyways it recharged via the sun and i used it freshman year of hs to get through PE. i named it corn after a stone from a certain manga i use to be obsessed with in middle school/part of hs. the character in the manga used her blue stone similarly, that is for emotional support, and also use to hold it up to the sun. i probably still have it somewhere but it’s i don’t use it or wear it anymore

ok! that’s all i can think of at the moment but i really enjoyed typing this all out. if you happened to read all of this....why...but also thank you. i love knowing that someone else knows these things now. i cant just tell when i try to explain these things irl people tune me out rip;;; though i understand why

#wright talks #autistic rambles

[lightlavenders]

Time for my Entrapdak rant (a.k.a. why Hordak was better for her than literally anyone else, a.k.a. I’m not bias I swear)

as I read through Entrapta/Hordak/princess gang discourse on this site I started to realise the reason why I loved Entrapdak so much in the first place, and I will now talk about that here (some of these points are stolen from better posts). ALSO no matter how much I shit on other characters just know this isn’t an attack of any of them. This is gonna be VERY ENTRAPTA FOCUSED.

OK SO we get introduced to Entrapta pretty early in season 1 and we get to learn a lot about her. It also quickly becomes clear that she’s neurodivergent - something confirmed to be intentional by many of the creators. Entrapta has a passion for technology, science and inventing, and (same as the previous princesses) the best friend squad decide they need her in the alliance so she can build them weapons (whICH SHE NEVER ACTUALLY DOES i think BUT THATS NOT THE POINT). 

Throughout the episode though, the squad (mostly Glimmer bc she’s the one who gets to closely interact with Entrapta the most... Adora being completely out of it and Bow with the kitchen staff) seems to slowly run out of patience for her - Glimmer very obviously puts up a front of tolerance despite her frustration. This is unlike the other episodes, where all the princesses get along in the end and become best friends oh boy! So... we have our only neurodivergent character so far who isn’t really welcomed into the group the same way as the others... and her autistic behaviour is only tolerated because they need her... okay, maybe that’ll change later.

Or not? When Entrapta joins the others on the quest to save Glimmer, she is constantly infantilised by the others and not taken seriously. She runs off to study Horde tech and actually helps rescue Sea Hawk, two very helpful things, but Perfuma talks down to her like a child and PUTS HER ON A LEASH? SHE’S 30!!! SHE WAS TRYING TO HELP! And no one tells Sea Hawk off for getting lost and alerting Scorpia to their presence, which wasn’t helpful at all. Then later, Mermista says she’ll keep an eye on her “in case she decides to befriend any more robots” like okay... she isn’t a child, and she didn’t run off because she wanted to play with robots or something?

Okay, so, Entrapta is left behind, which I won’t blame them for because it definitely looked like she died (they get over it pretty quickly but I digress), and she comes across Catra. Okay! Here’s a chance for Entrapta to make a true friend, right? Or not, because Entrapta and Catra’s friendship is built entirely on manipulation. At least Scorpia was sincere. 

Here Entrapta is again, in a position where she’s being used for her skills and in a we’re-sort-of-friends-but-I-only-tolerate-you-because-you’re-useful situation, with Scorpia probably being her only true friend at the moment. She starts helping out the horde, because they actually let her do what she wants and at the very least don’t treat her like a child. Then, she stumbles into Hordak’s lab.

I’m gonna say this now because I’ll get murdered if I don’t - Hordak is a bad guy. He does bad guy stuff. But so does Entrapta sometimes (I’ll talk about that later) so good morals don’t need to play into their relationship I think. It’s about how they treat each other.

At first, Hordak is very defensive and angry towards Entrapta, as he would be to anyone coming in to his lab without permission and discovering his secret portal project. But then she fixes said portal and he immediately sees her as an intellectual equal. Again, Entrapta has had to prove herself to someone by making herself useful, but it actually goes further. ALSO can I say how Hordak is the ONLY person who interacts directly with Entrapta who doesn’t treat her like a child or emotionally manipulate her, with the exception of Wrong Hordak, Emily, and Imp of all characters... Even Scorpia is guilty of this later.

So, Entrapta and Hordak start working together, and Entrapta is obviously very excited to have someone treat her as an equal (they’re lab partners!!). On top of that, Hordak is also happy to have someone he can actually trust. Catra and Scorpia at separate times both remark on how Entrapta spends all of her time with him now, and who can fucking blame her when he’s the only one that has literally spent all this time growing close to her and understanding her as a person, not just using her, not just tolerating her, not talking down to her constantly. Hordak opens up his trauma to Entrapta and she responds by opening up a bit in return, literally saying that she doesn’t fit in and that Catra doesn’t even talk to her anymore. They are obviously comfortable around each other, and if Hordak was manipulating her, then why was he so distraught when she was taken away? Why did he CRY??? Why did he consider giving up on his life’s purpose and abandoning what is essentially his god for her???

Anyway, stuff happens, and Entrapta shows that she isn’t the irresponsible child everyone thinks she is by agreeing to shut off the portal. But of course, Catra betrays her and sends her away. To die. How nice. Catra tells Hordak that Entrapta betrayed him, and instead of flipping out and turning all Hal Stewart incel “if I can’t have you no one can” he just gets sad... and then later all he really wants is to see her again, even if it is on the battlefield. I’m not sure what he would’ve done so we can’t say for sure, but I seriously doubt he wanted to hurt her.

sidenote - I’m not gonna blame Scorpia for letting Catra doing this, Scorpia had her own shit going on and was essentially trapped in an abusive relationship and she also later makes up for letting Entrapta down by getting her rescued

SO then the best friend squad go to save her from Beast Island, and she’s literally completely given up. Gee, I wonder why. Could it be because it seems like every friend she’s ever had has abandoned her, scolded her, or outright zapped her unconscious and sent her to die in a monster filled island? But the squad save her and affirm to her that they didn’t give up on her and that they’re still her friends. Actions speak louder than words, guys, but okay, cool! To Bow and Adora’s credit, they were the least patronising and mean out of anyone... so, that’s something. Anyway! Affirmations! Some respect from her friends! I hope this lasts... 

It didn’t! Season 5, Entrapta goes along with the others to help find out where Glimmer is. Here is where I quickly have to say something - Entrapta does indeed make some ‘evil’ and stupid decisions sometimes - hacking the black garnet, building robots that attack her old friends, walking out absentmindedly in front of a robot and compromising her team. Some of these things can be explained by her neurodivergence, but do not always justify it. That being said. Entrapta is not evil, she is not stupid, and her “weirdness” does not give her friends the excuse to treat her like a child. 

Here’s where it gets bad!! Perfuma puts Entrapta on a leash AGAIN!!!!!! WHAT? Writers? Wyd?? Not only this, but the others talk about her behind her back, and then scold her without any consideration for how she, as a neurodivergent person, was interpreting the situation. They could’ve explained their feelings to her in a calm way, instead of shunning her and expecting her to pick up on their cues, then exploding at her when they didn’t. THEN THEY CALL HER A BAD FRIEND.... and I feel hypocrisy in this chili’s tonight... and then Scorpia... doesn’t say anything? Girl help. Ik we can’t totally blame her since she was new to the squad and probably didn’t wanna get kicked out or yelled at like with Catra, but please... that is your friend...say something. also why did mermista need to pull her hair and then later say “you’re still a weirdo” like what. why do people ship them? because mermista cried when entrapta ‘died’? Okay??

I think Entrapta actually goes through some character development after this which is pretty cool - she outwardly expresses her concern for Glimmer, which is affirming to her friends the squad, and later at the end of the series, intentionally keeps herself focused during the most high stakes moment instead of running off. I’m not qualified to talk about if these traits, which could be considered traits of autistic people, deserve to be treated as flaws to be fixed, that’s a whole other bag of worms, but yay character development.

Finally, at the end, Hordak properly reunites with Entrapta and he decides to rebel against his creator and his purpose to save her life, showing that Entrapta, and their connection, is his priority now. And once Adora saves Hordak from Prime (thanks Adora), the two finally reunite in a spinning hug - that is literally the most physical contact either of them have had with anyone, how could anyone not believe in their connection and mutual trust???

Mermista gives us one last jab, an understandable one considering Hordak was conquering their planet for years on end, but still - “so, are we all just like, okay with this?” yes girl, we are. He’s literally the only one who ever treated her with real respect and love, the only one who ever prioritised her.

I know some people are gonna be like “just ship her with wrong Hordak” and if you really like that... go ahead I guess? But do we need to force a clone who just got control of his own mind into a relationship, or a girl who is very much in love with someone else into a relationship with one of her friends? You can do what you want though, it’s literally fine, I’m the one who just spent over 1500 words talking about why a 30 year old science woman should go out with an alien warlord.

In conclusion - Hordak and Entrapta deserve each other, because Entrapta deserves someone who treats her right, and I love her.

#entrapdak #entrapta and hordak #entrapdak discourse #entrapta #hordak #i had to include a megamind reference #She Ra #SPOP #big ol post #she ra and the princesses of power #i spent so long on this

[emakenz]

SELF INDULGENT HANNIBAL X READER FANFICTION PROMPT

I do not know what this is, if it is a drabble or a prompt or short story, I have no clue. Just thoughts in my head. Storylines that are realistic within the canon of the show. I say self indulgent because it's sort of a self insert of myself, but whatever, I dunno. It's almost 7 AM. I would actually write this as a story or drabble or whatever but I don't have the drive, if I have a thought I gotta write it down right then or it disappears. If I wrote fanfics, they wouldn't make sense because my mind wanders so fucking much. I might still do this someday, I dunno, but if anyone wants a crack at it, be my guest. I encourage it, as I'd love to read this as an actual story rather than... what it is. But if you write it, ya gotta make sure you include the big details I write down. The small details like, the whole Jack thing, that's not too important unless you want to keep it for showing character and/or character development. And ya gotta credit and tag me because I'd love to read it, as it is my brain's own little bundle of ideas. Holy shit I'm writing so much here goddamn. Anyway.

. . .

Hannibal is reader's friend and he has an interest in reader. Reader is an artist, they work as a forensic artist for the bureau. They do what the usual forensic artist does, but they also like to draw the crime scenes. They have a fascination with recreating the work of a suspect, it can help them connect dots and understand the suspect's intentions and ideals of commiting the scene of the crime. Reader is kind of like Will, in a sense, as they are on the spectrum but, unlike Will, they are unaware of it. They are an empath, they view everything from different perspectives and try to understand each side, like Will. But you see, Will only looks into the suspects' minds, but reader looks into the suspects, the victims, and even the witnesses' views. Hannibal finds their insight to be valuable (for his own "hobbies", in his career, and just plain interest, of course).

Reader has trouble with Jack yelling at them for "talking back," though in reader's mind they didn't realize what they said could be considered rude, and this happens more often than not. They can't handle loud noises, and Jack's booming voice messes them up. They tend to avoid Jack because of this, as they usually have an internal meltdown and shut off when he blows up.

An example; reader was explaining how the victim of the killer in a specific scene wasn't really the victim, but that they were the actual killer. Will disagreed, as he views the suspected killer to be the actual killer. Because of Will's insistence that reader was wrong, Jack shut reader off mid sentence by interrupting their defense. Jack trusts Will's insight more than reader's because he's known him longer and Will's always been right, so far, and he didn't want to risk messing up. He didn't want to get the investigation incorrect so he didn't take the chance of listening to reader rather than Will.

(In this scenario, the killer is the victim in the scene, and the person that killed them was the killer's intended victim, but the victim they intended to kill was a serial killer as well -- the victim pulled the ol switcheroo on em. So both Will and reader are right. If this doesn't make sense, please let me know, I will try to elaborate more on this if you're actually interested.)

Jack and reader don't have a bad relationship or anything, it's just a lot of miscommunications and underlying issues (like the reader having undiagnosed autism, not being aware that they're socially impaired can, well, impair their work and relationships. Such as here.) Nobody really notices the odd behavior from reader, as Will is like that too, so they don't question it. They all assume it's already understood that reader is autistic.

Reader isn't like Will when it comes to being social, as they are more reserved (as odd as that is, MORE reserved than Will Graham himself?? It's more likely than you'd think.) and don't fidget around with stuff around them. They don't nose around, they keep to themselves, closed off from everyone and everything. Will likes to roam around Dr. Lecter's office and tinker with stuff in the room, but reader is too anxious and shy to do such. Reader hates it when people come into their space (like their room, even their property in general) and they especially don't like it when people nose around in their stuff. It feels rude to them, so they don't do it to others. They don't consider Will to be rude because he does it though, they only consider it rude when a person comes into their space and does it, as reader would make it clear that they don't feel comfortable with people doing such. They wouldn't want a person unknowingly seem rude to them, they would inform them beforehand, but if the person still does it, then that's rude to reader. Call it being territorial, reader is just cautious about their property.

If reader is in a conversation, and being asked questions about themself, they usually just give short and simple answers. They don't like to talk about theirself. And they especially don't like letting people know them well. They are very cautious about relationships. They don't want to get hurt. They have a major rejection sensitivity disorder. They hate that about themself.

It's not that reader is cut off from the world and dismissive of others, they do like to talk and joke around occasionally. They're sarcastic yet literal, depending on the topic of conversation. They just don't give more input than they believe necessary. They're more of a listener (by that I mean they space out when a person is excessively talking to them. They can only handle so much.).

Hannibal notices reader's quiet, timid behavior and wants them to find some release, therefore he engages in conversations with them, though it is hard for them to keep the conversation going, he still pushes. He wants them to let loose, to trust him, so he can bond with them. He is aware of reader's autism, but he will only bring it up when he deems it's important. He knows everyone else knows and that reader doesn't, but he wants to see if reader would eventually figure it out on their own (they don't, he brings it up to them eventually). He's also aware that reader has anxiety and ADHD, with the occasional depression and mood swings. Reader is somewhat self aware of those parts of themself though, it's not a big deal. Reader doesn't really care about their mental health until Hannibal comes in and becomes Dr. Lecter to reader. They're not actually his patient but he will treat them as such when he feels they need a therapy session. Reader doesn't like the idea of therapy at all, not for them. Hannibal has to be discreet when getting them to open up. It works sometimes. Other times, reader just changes the subject to avoid the topic of theirself. While Hannibal does still have an interest in Will, reader is more of a craving for Hannibal's appetite. Hannibal sees reader as a rare delicacy that suits his taste, but he never gets enough, and he always wants more. Will can satisfy him in his interest, but reader doesn't give in to him like Will does. Reader is more hesitant, even when they are comfortable. Eye contact never ceases making reader uneasy, they can't hold it more than a few seconds, though Will can hold it as time goes on, reader can't. Will and reader's relationship is close, as reader relates to Will a lot, and vice versa. They connect. Reader likes to help with the dogs and assist in fixing motors and even go fishing with him. They're pretty much best friends. They're more open with Will than anybody else, as much as Hannibal envies Will for that, he also likes to learn about reader from Will. Since reader doesn't really open up to Hannibal willingly and knowingly, he uses Will for information. Will gives him what he wants, it's not a secret that they talk about reader often, it's just that reader doesn't engage in their talks so they make do. Whether Will has a crush on reader is a mystery, reader is unaware and Hannibal wouldn't allow it if he did. Will knows that Hannibal likes reader, he knows that if he had a crush, it's more than likely going to hurt him more than anything. Hannibal often attempts to get reader's attention in different ways, but reader never understands the message is for them. Will knows he can't be honest with reader as he's afraid that reader would feel uncomfortable around him if he did. He doesn't let himself crave reader after seeing Hannibal attempt to ease his own cravings for them, and seeing how that panned out, he knows he doesn't have a chance with reader if Hannibal of all people doesn't. Reader doesn't really... understand romance. They are capable of feeling romantic, but they don't know how to identify their feelings, so emotions are never clear for them. They feel everything but they don't understand anything.

Hannibal does get reader to give in but it takes a lot of time and effort to pry them open. Once reader is bare, they become insecure and vulnerable. They panic and get scared, and shutdown. Hannibal is a therapist and he knows how to handle this, though, and helps reader. He becomes their guide. Reader thrives off of independence but Hannibal slowly takes their need of independence away, having reader rely on him more and more. It makes him feel powerful. His cravings are nourished at this point in time, he's more addicted than ever, and reader is the center of his world. I guess you could say Hannibal is yandere-esque, not my intention but that's the vibes I'm getting from this. He's overprotective and possessive of reader once he has them under his wing.

What attracts Hannibal to reader is the same reason he's interested in Will. He enjoys having someone clever enough to understand him, to climb over his tall walls. Reader doesn't mean to do this, reader just sees him, and unlike Will, accepts him immediately. Reader never disliked Hannibal, reader's just cautious, as I've stated time and time again. Something about reader's mix of strong empathy but lack of understanding compels Hannibal. Reader sees and infers well enough (guessing close enough to what others think) but they can't really grasp it and latch onto it for theirself. They can't understand the feelings, but they can guess on them, and they can sure as hell feel em. They have trouble explaining stuff to others, and they try to always compare something to something else. They see something as a different thing than what others see. (An example, reader sees the shape and color and texture of a giant hotpocket in the ground, while others see a patch of dirt where grass hasn't grown) (I don't mean they literally see a hot pocket but they make the connection that it looks like a hot pocket) (that example is specific, as it is personal experience LMFAO)

This being said, they can be wrong a lot of the time when they try to infer a killer's intentions, as they sometimes just can't see the intentions being anything else than what they see. They have to rely on others for reference, to mimic their thinking patterns and then make a final guess at the killer's intentions. That's why Will and them connect so easily, as Will usually thinks straight AND helps reader figure it out in their own view. They help the team with investigations for other perspectives while Will helps with the "finalized" guess on the case. If this doesn't make sense, I can give another example, as I don't really know how else to word this. I doubt anyone will actually read any of this and I'm fine with that, I'm just rambling about my ideas. I swear to god though, if someone takes this idea without credit (in general, like the big picture of it) I will cry so so hard you will drown in my tears. Deadass.

Enjoy my rambles ig :)

#safe keeping #fanfiction #hopefully ill remember that

[dannyphantom-rewrite]

Character ref for; Jack, Maddie and Jazz,

Art by @gally-hin / @gally-hin-phantom

Okay so first off; in terms of Actual redesign, I didn't change a whole lot. I'm actually very fond of Jack and Maddie's design's, my only real issue was with their proportions. Like...look as a lady person who is also thiCC I do not have a fucking wasp thin waist and I'm sure I'm not the only one, lmao. As for Jack? Godamnit he looked like a brick on toothpicks. Just Let him be a fucking Bara man! Anyway of course I asked Gally to do this one bc they're fucking great at drawing different body types

I also cannot and will not take credit for Jazz's outfit. I didn't have any issue with her canon clothes aside from them being a bit plain, so what she's wearing here was literally pulled straight off of her original concept art, which I will link here.

Anyway, getting to the Actual character lore now, let's start with

Maddie Fenton

-Full name is Madeline (I haven't decided on a maiden name yet)

-Born and raised on a farm in Arkansas, had a southern accent that she trained herself out of in college bc it was just one more reason for people not to take her seriously. Still sometimes uses "y'all" completely unironically bc old habits die hard.

-She has a really big family, and they're proud of her accomplishments but feel like she's wasting her talent studying ghosts, because really, up until the Fenton portal was up and running there wasn't even any solid proof they existed. Her sister Alicia is the one outlier there, and even if she doesn't understand, it she completely supports her.

-She majored in engineering and minored in psychology at Wisconsin EDU. Her, Jack and Vlad were all in the same engineering class, and that's where they met.

-Maddie is particularly interested in how ghosts think, analysing their behavior, their motives. Not only that, but they aren't just dead people with unfinished business, they've built an entire culture in the Ghost Zone that is completely seperate from humanity, and she wants to understand all of it.

-skilled marksman and 9th degree black belt, (which is. The highest fucking level there is holy shit? I looked it up after I saw it on her wiki page.)

Jack Fenton

-He's from Minnesota (Amity park is in Illinois and him and Maddie didn't move there until after they got married) 

-okay, "but why minnesota specifically" you ask? Because. I crave. Foot ball discourse. 

-minnesota vikings vs green bay packers guys do you UNDERSTAND WHERE IM GOING WITH THIS 

-The funny thing is that Jack only watches football casually while Vlad is a fucking die hard so when these two got together to see a game it was like....

-Jack: Here to chill and have a good time.

-Vlad: Primed and ready to start a fist fight at any given moment.

-I am never not going to be salty about how Canon Jack was portrayed like a complete moron 99% percent of the time. Like no...theres a difference between Actual Stupid and ADHD induced dumbass-ery.

-Am I saying Jack Fenton has ADHD? Yes. why? Because I also have ADHD and I have always vibed So Hard with his Character.

-Jack is loud and easily excited about things that interest him. He's impulsive and fidgety and yeah, a bit absent minded. He has a mouth that clearly runs so much faster than his head. His train of thought doesn't get derailed so much as it stops and takes several different detours on the way to it's final destination.

-and that's only the tip of the iceberg, really, I'd need an entire essay to get into this completely, but I just really relate.

-Jacks skill-set / interests regarding ghosts vary a bit from Maddie's, most notably in the sense that he doesn't believe that they're static entities already set in their ways, completely incapable of change.

-Jack majored in engineering and minored in Biology at Wisconsin EDU.

-Jack's work with tech is a bit hit or miss. He definitely HAS the engineering skills, but the intrest isn't always there and he's constantly jumping back and forth between different projects. He tends to focus on the concept work and schematics and leave most of the assembly to Maddie as a result. It's an arrangement that works well for them, and has drastically decreased the number of unintentional explosions in the lab.

-A lot of Jack's work tends to revolve around ghostly biology and Ectoplasm, figuring out how ghosts are made, what makes them tick, what the hell Ectoplasm Actually Is, how it's used as an energy source, ect.

-and yes, that does also mean he handles the dissections.

-See that facial scar? Yeah, that's not actually there at the start of the series rewrite but it's very important for plot reasons so I had to include it. Can't say much more on the subject because SPOILERs owo.

Jasmine Fenton

-Jazz is a 18 years old, and a senior at Casper high.

-Which means she prepping to go away to college and won't be around to keep an eye on Danny.

-Obviously that doesn't mean I'm just writing her out of the story, oh no. Know why? Because she's also gonna go to Wisconsin EDU. ya know who else is in Wisconsin? Fuckin' Vlad.

-Jazz is autistic, Although she passes for neurotypical in part due to symptoms being completely over looked in girls due to gender stereotyping and also the fact that she doesn't have any special interests that are considered " "too weird.""

- Her hyperfixation with psychology started at a young age in an effort to better understand people, and social/emotional cues and all that.

-Jazz is well liked at school but she's not popular or apart of any specific group or clique. She's very kind and compassionate to people, and just about everyone knows her, but you'd be hard pressed to find someone who actually Considered her a friend. Except maybe Spike.

-I'm gonna have to give spike his own Character ref at some point, but he's this scary looking goth kid that's been held back twice. He's actually super sweet, just really fuckin' quiet and anxious. Him and jazz kinda ended up gravitating towards each other. She might do most of the talking, but they look out for each other.

-its not like jazz doesn't try to socialize, but it's difficult and she's found it much easier and less stressful to just. Keep to herself and let her interactions with her peers stay shallow and superficial. Sure, it's lonely sometimes but it's better than constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing or making some other misstep.

-One of Jazz's other special interests is football, and it's not so much the players or the game as it is the strategy of it? Started out as one of those things you do to bond with your dad, and she ended up getting really into it.

-She absolutley winds up getting into stupidly intense discussions with Vlad about it, too, lmao.

-Her and Danny probably bonded over SBNation bc that shit has both sentient satellites and ridiculously complex football mechanics.

-She's completely oblivious to the fact, but Dash has a massive crush on her bc holy shit this girl understands football (hey bud your toxic masculinity is showing put that shit away)

-I mentioned that Danny was in Cheer for a bit in middle school so it makes sense that she'd also be pushed into doing some kind of extracurricular activity.....so.....she was in a martial arts class for a bit thanks to Maddie and has a good grasp on self defense.

I think that's everything? I feel like I'm leaving things out tho? Idk if I did I'll come back and add on to this later and also pls don't hesitate to ask questions bc it really helps me flesh things out better.

#danny phantom #art #danny fenton #maddie fenton #jack fenton #jazz fenton #ref