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sl-newsie · 2 days

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American Woman (Thomas Shelby x American OC) Ch. 15: A Dangerous Game

On the way back from the race we stop by the Garrison so Arthur can pick up some liquor for the house.

“Won’t take long, lads. Just a few bottles. Tommy’s been downing them like there’s no tomorrow.”

The other Shelbys head to a hidden side room to discuss private matters. I suppose I’ll just sit at the bar-

“Jesus!”

I whip my head around in time to see Grace burst through the door. She barely notices me and storms off towards the back staircase.

“Grace, what’s wrong? Did-?”

“Thomas Shelby, that’s what’s wrong,” she answers sharply before stomping upstairs. “Ask him.”

Strange. I know Thomas can be emotionally detached and isn’t always the happiest, but he does know how to treat a lady.

“Let’s go, Steenstra!” Arthur calls from the front door.

“Coming!”

Maybe I can get more answers back at the house.

“How was your first horse race?” Finn asks when we enter the hallway.

“It was… brief,” I try to pull my thoughts together. “Unfortunately I didn’t even get to see the race take off.”

“That’s too bad. Maybe you can catch another one some other time.”

Finn’s bouncing on his heels and I can tell he’s antsy for another lesson. I guess there’s nothing else to do now. It’s starting to get dark and I’m in no mood to cook.

“How about a nature walk?”

Finn scrunches his nose. “At night?”

“You’d be surprised at what you can find at night. Ever see a firefly?” That keeps his attention. “Go wait outside and I’ll grab my coat.”

Finn picks out a flashlight and heads out the door despite Arthur’s disapproval.

“‘S dangerous at night, Steenstra.”

“Relax, Arthur,” John waves it off. “There’s a Peaky Blinder ‘round every corner. They’ll be safe. I’m off to put the kids to bed.”

Arthur sets the whiskey bottles on the counter and pours himself a glass. “Let’s see how long these can last.”

“Don’t count on it.”

Thomas’ voice snaps my attention to the hall behind me. His wrinkled suit gives reason to believe something happened after the race, but I don’t pry. Arthur just rolls his eyes and walks off to his room, downing the glass of whiskey.

“Evening, Verena. Enjoy the race?”

“What little I could. What happened to Grace? I ran into her at the Garrison and she had the look to kill.”

The Peaky Blinder doesn’t seem fazed. “She didn’t look it to me. She’s the one who asked if I thought she was a whore.”

His words stop me dead in my tracks. “Oh God. Thomas. Did you…?”

“I told her everyone is a whore, we just sell different parts of ourselves. She should’ve known what she was getting into when she agreed to work for me. He got mine, I got his.”

This business goes far beyond my jurisdiction and I’m glad it does. How can he have the audacity to even think such a thing?

I keep a stern frown and fight the urge to slap his arrogant face. “You son of a bitch. You did a whore swap? Against Grace’s wishes? I don’t blame her for being upset!”

He seems confused by my outburst. “Don’t get a bee in your bonnet. I didn’t do anything with his woman. We just talked. Call it getting soft, but I changed my mind and went back to trick Kimber into thinking she has Syphilis before he could do anything serious.”

This back and forth routine is giving me a headache. “Same pattern, every time. You do something so incredibly stupid and then counteract it.” I unhook my coat from the wall and strut to the door before Thomas can utter another moral riddle for me to decipher.

“Why are you so uptight about it? It’s not like I offered you up-”

I pivot before I reach the door and stare him down with a glare mother would be proud of. “Thomas Shelby, do you think I am a whore? That I would belittle myself so low? How dare you. How dare you assume the lowest standards of all women. I thought you were better than that.”

I leave him to stew on that. That Thomas Shelby is going to drive me up the wall, I swear to God. I shall have to offer some comfort to Grace, despite my subtle jealousy for her attraction to Thomas.

“Pst!”

The hushed voice leads me to the door leading to the bull ring where all the real action takes place. Through a small crack I see Finn’s face peeking out.

“Finn, what are you up to?”

“Shh! I’m hiding!”

Call me bewildered but this little game seems like the perfect opportunity to distract from today’s events. “Oh! Can I join you?”

He cracks the door open wider and we both peer out into the dim hall. Outside we hear Thomas and Polly chatting about another family meeting. After a while everyone files out and the doors are shut. Now all that’s left is one of the bookkeepers.

“What are we waiting for?” I whisper to Finn.

“You’ll see.”

A few more minutes go by. Finn’s not one to invite friends over so what-?

The door opens and a group of men sulk inside. These men aren’t Peaky Blinders. What the devil is going on?

Finn steps out for them to notice and one of them pats his head. “Good boy.”

“Finn, who are these men-?!”

Another man whips out a pistol and corners me against the wall. “Quiet, bitch!”

The gun leaves my pulse racing. “Put that down! What on Earth are you doing here?”

“We’re taking back what’s ours!” The brute sneers and turns to the others. “Search everywhere!”

My fighting instincts want to sprint for the gun hidden in my purse. But that would take too long. I’ll be shot dead in seconds. The only other option I can think of is distraction.

“Finn!” I hiss at the young Shelby, who’s idling by the door. “Finn, go get Thomas. Now!”

He does as I say and slips outside. I don’t know what or who compelled him to let these men in here but I’m not just going to stand by without a fight.

“I don’t know who you are-”

Slap!

My cheek starts stinging from where the man hit me. “I said quiet! We know you’re the Shelby’s housekeeper so act like one and shut up!”

Another man roughly grabs my hands and starts to bind them with twine. No, I don’t think so! I knee him in the crotch and duck to roll behind a desk to avoid the fired shots.

“Get that bitch!”

If I could just get to my gun- AH!

“Verena! Verena? Is she coming around?” A distant voice asks.

Huh? What happened?

My eyelids flutter open and I find myself sprawled out on the dusty floor surrounded by the Shelbys. The whole room’s been ransacked. Tables and chairs are thrown everywhere.

“Jesus Christ. What the bloody Hell happened here?” John asks as he examines the rubble.

“The Lees, all of them.”

“They’ve taken everything,” Polly grumbles.

I catch Thomas’ eye and he seems to drop all other concerns as he approaches and kneels down to me. “Did they hurt you?”

“No,” I answer firmly.

“Did they rape you?”

“If they’d tried they’d be dead.” There’s something else I notice about the room. “Wait. They left these.”

Thomas looks to where I’m pointing and examines the tool.

“Wire cutters? Why would they do that?” Polly asks.

Thomas spreads out his arms. “Nobody move. I think they’re playing a game.”

Polly and I share confused looks. “Game? What game?”

“Back in France, whenever we gave up ground from the Germans we’d set traps and leave behind wire cutters as part of the joke.”

Thomas’ eyes search around the room. “Somewhere in here is a hand grenade.”

Polly’s eyes widen and she too looks around. “Holy Jesus.”

“Attached to a wire. Don’t move anything, don’t touch anything,” John cautions us. “Verena, do you remember anything? Maybe where they might have hidden it?”

“No.” Thomas shakes his head. “If it was in here it would’ve blown by now. It was my name on that bullet. The trap’s set for me.” He looks over to where I’m still sitting on the floor. Does he look guilty? “And unfortunately you happened to be here.”

“But I wasn’t alone. Didn’t Finn come find you?”

Something sparks in Thomas’ eyes. “Where’s Finn?”

My breathing stutters. Where is Finn? Didn’t he follow everyone back here? Apparently not because Thomas rushes out the door to find him.

“Verena, where are you going?” John asks when I stand up to follow.

“I don’t care if it’s not proper for a lady to be involved with this. Finn’s in trouble and I will not just sit back and wait to see if he’s safe.”

We all follow Thomas out in one big search party. Where would Finn have gone-?

“Finn. stay exactly where you are.”

Thomas’ voice leads us to the garage where the car is parked. Finn is seated in the front holding the steering wheel.

“I was pretending I was you,” he smiles proudly at his older brother.

“Which door did you open to climb in, Finn?”

“I didn’t. I climbed in.” Of course he did.

Thomas approaches the vehicle slowly. “I want you to climb out exactly the same way you came in, understand?”

The young Shelby gets a giddy smile and all but ignores Thomas’ instructions by pushing the driver door open.

“No Finn-!” Thomas sprints over and pulls Finn out just as a ticking sound starts. “Clear!”

He picks up the grenade and hurls it out into the alley, causing a loud explosion to spread hot flames across the earth. John jumps in front to shield me from the blast.

My already-jumbled nerves triple my heart rate. “Oh my God.”

But Finn is safe now.

“That’s why you should never pretend to be me,” Thomas explains to him. “Ok? Ok?”

Thomas must be proud for his younger brother to admire him but at the same time I can tell he doesn’t want him in too deep either.

“Alrighty, time for a drink,” Arthur grunts and the others start walking back.

“Time to clean up.”

Perfect. More chores. Can’t this family go one week without fighting?

“Are you ok, Verena?” Finn comes up. “‘M sorry. ‘S my fault those blokes got in.”

“It’s alright, Finn. As long as no one was hurt.”

Both him and Thomas frown. “But you-?”

“My own health does not compare.”

Thomas wants to follow up but decides to stay quiet. Thankfully Finn wanders back to the house and leaves us alone.

“I don’t know why he’s even allowed to be involved,” I say sharply. “Yes he’s a Shelby but just look at what could have happened.”

“I know, I know.” Thomas sighs. “‘M… ‘M sorry about earlier. And now you were almost killed-”

“Thomas, relax. Like I said, I’m more concerned about other things rather than my own well-being.”

“Why? Anyone who’s not out for their own self-interest is lying. We all want something.”

I exhale deeply to calm my temper. “Yes, but not all of us are driven by it. My wants are trumped by God’s purpose.”

We stand in silence for a time, listening to the foot traffic. As hard as I try to see the positives this place will always point out the violence tied to it.

“On another note, John’s getting married now,” Thomas says after a while.

“Can’t say I’m surprised. He’s always telling me about how his kids can be a handful. They need a proper mother. So who’s the lucky bride?”

He huffs. “Lizzie Stark. It’s a joke.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because she’s a whore,” Thomas states plainly.

At this point I’m not fazed by his blunt words. “Aside from Polly, Grace, and me, is there anyone in Birmingham who isn’t?”

“It’s not just that. She’s the whore I told you about earlier, the one I’d been seeing.”

So it’s back to therapy mode now. “But you’re passed that now. Is she a decent person?”

“She’s a whore. What do you expect?”

God this man can be stubborn. “Maybe whores have feelings too. Will she make a good mother?”

He kicks a stone down the alley and lights a cigarette. “John thinks so.”

“So trust his judgment. If she’s what he thinks the kids need, then go with it. She could be nice.”

I can’t tell if my words reach Thomas at all. He just finishes his cigarette and starts walking down the opposite end. He makes no gesture for me to follow so I stay put.

“Where are you off to now?” I call after him.

“Planning a switch with the Gypsies to go against Kimbel.”

Gypsies. I don’t know much about their business because Uncle Colon doesn’t either. He made a peace agreement with them to keep a distance. “Can you trust them?”

“On my mother’s side we’re kin. That should help them trust me.”

That can be a perk… Then again family ties are also methods of holding grudges. Oh well. After all that’s happened today I really need some time to relax. I get back to the house and head straight for my room. After a warm bath and donning a fresh nightgown I finally sit down on my bed for some embroidery.

“Um, Vernea? Do you have a moment?”

I always have a moment. “You doing alright, Finn?”

He stays leaning against the doorway and contemplates what to say. “Tommy said not to be like him. But he’s always been a role model to me.”

I can see how this complicates things. Thomas does have admirable traits but at the same time can be an example of what not to be. Contradictive, as usual.

“Sometimes in life we look up to people when we only know half their story. Not everyone is someone to admire, Finn. Sometimes you need to search yourself and decide what kind of person you alone want to be. That may not be the answer you’re looking for but it’s my honest answer. Is there anything else I can help you with?” Finn shakes his head, deep in thought. “Alright. If you don't mind, I'd like to retire for the night. Goodnight.”

Thankfully Finn gets the message and shuts the door on his way out. Deep breath. Between my conflicting emotions for Thomas and the Lees attack I certainly need a good night’s rest.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #peaky fucking blinders #peaky fookin blinders #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby #arthur shelby #john shelby #finn shelby #polly gray #grace burgess #cillian murphy #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby fanfiction

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writing-rat · 9 months

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Under Gale's Care

Pairings: Gale, Sam, and Tara. Familial

Content: Motherly Gale, talk of addictions, hurt/comfort, nightmares

Requested: NO

Summary: Gale sees how Sam and Tara are without a mother... she decides to be their mother from then on

WORD COUNT: 5712

It was a summer night after the events of the 3 Ghostfaces, and Tara was with Sam in their apartment. They were just sat on the couch, watching films as neither of the 2 were hungry. They had eaten a big lunch after all. Tara was in Sam’s lap, cuddled up to her, her face in Sam’s neck practically. Sam was just rubbing her side and was kissing her forehead as she smiled. “Wanna sleep now honey?” Sam asked her younger sister. Tara was about to respond when there was a knock at the door as well as a text message at the same time.

They slowly checked their phone, pulses racing before they saw it was Gale in a group chat with the 2 of them. ‘I’m at your door!’ it read. Still cautious, Sam put Tara on the couch and did a ‘sh’ motion before she slowly walked over to the door. She even got the taser and knife from the side before she was looking into the peephole. There Gale was, with a bag. Sighing in relief, Sam unlocked the door.

“Come in,” she called out before she put the knife and taser on the side, Gale entering.

“Hey. I was just passing by after work and was wondering if you was wanting to cook,” Gale spoke, explaining. Tara meanwhile got up and rushed over to Gale and hugged her tightly.

“Mom!” she called out happily. After a few months after the second attack, Gale had become a mother to Sam and Tara. It started once Tara accidentally called her mom. Sam smiled, looking at her sister as she was new to seeing Gale as a mother figure.

“Hey T,” Gale spoke hugging her too and rubbed her back. “Wanna cook something?” she asked. Tara nodded.

“We had a big lunch so we aren’t as hungry but I’m happy to help,” Tara responded.

“All you can cook is ramen noodles so it’ll be a good lesson,” Sam mused out before shrugging. “I’ll join too,” Sam added on. Gale smiled, thanking them as she led them to the kitchen. She checked their fridge and cupboards as usual, making sure they were eating well.

A few months ago she had learnt that Sam lost her job and so they weren’t eating as much which caused Gale to help out. That’s when she helped Sam get another job as a gym trainer which was going well. Hell, they could pay rent but Gale refused to let them and paid it herself. Instead Sam got a car and Tara also got a bike to help travel.

Soon all 3 were in the kitchen. Tara was in charge of getting the pots while Sam helped chop the food with Gale. They knew Tara couldn’t be trusted with a knife when she accidentally cut her thumb where it bled a lot. “Are you staying over? The guest room is available,” Tara spoke, soon setting the table with knifed and forks and plates. The food they were preparing was a spaghetti bolognese. Just after asking, the chopping was done as Tara was allowed to put the food in the pan. Gale was stirring while Sam timed it.

“Yeah, I’ll be staying over if that’s ok with Sam. The drive home is 20 minutes and I can’t be assed,” Gale explained to which Sam nodded.

“That’s what the guest room is for mom,” she spoke. They continued chatting after that.

After the food was done, everyone was sat down with a plate in front of them. Sam and Tara had smaller portions as they were all relaxed. They were talking about whatever was happening at the time. Tara was happy because she felt like she had a mother figure that stuck around. Sam was happy that she had an accepting mother, even after everything.

1 month later, Sam was walking home from work. She was conscious of the looks she still got, but most people was seeing the good side of her now as she had said her side and was thankful for Tara voice recording what Bailey said. Some people still trusted him even after everything. She jumped when she heard running and immediately got her fist ready, ready to punch anyone if she was to be attacked. That was at least until she saw who it was where it disappeared immediately.

Gale Weathers.

“Hey kid,” she spoke smiling softly at Sam, which caused Sam to physically respond by relaxing.

“Hey, how are you?” Sam asked politely, still on edge around her in case she would do anything to hurt her.

“I’m doing well. I got the day off work today so I can just hand out. How was your work?” Gale asked, genuinely curious. She saw the oldest Carpenter as her own too. Sam shrugged.

“It was ok. I just had one group of kids for self defence, all did good. I then was asked to go home early due to them seeing me nearly fail holding a weight,” she admitted. Her arm had pain every now and then which crippled her for a day at a time.

“You taken your pain killers and your antipsychotics?” Gale asked concerned, Sam nodding to the question.

They soon went into a conversation about plans. “So what are you doing tonight?” Gale asked, smiling happily at her.

“Me and Tara are going to watch this movie. Evil Dead Rise. She bought it on DVD and begged me to watch it with her. We were also planning on getting some New York pizza from one of the stands,” she explained. Gale smirked.

“I can recommend one near you. I go there all the time. Also get it discounted so I could get it discounted for you too,” she responded. “It’s called Scot’s Sideways Pizzeria. It is one of the best places to go,” Gale added on. Sam quickly grabbed her phone and took note of it.

“Thanks m-Gale,” she spoke. Gale softened, letting Sam take her time to call her that. She knew how scared Sam was of losing other people after all the attacks.

“It’s no problem. As you know, I have lived in New York for a few years now so I know the places to go,” she spoke, winking while Sam just nodded, smiling. “What’s Evil Dead Rise about?” Gale asked intrigued.

“About 2 sisters who reunite but it’s cut short due to flesh-eating demons,” Sam answered chuckling. “That’s all I know.” Gale nodded.

“Give it a shot soon then,” Gale responded.

They proceeded to walk in a comfortable silence, Sam relaxing from the staring eyes. She felt better whenever she was with someone after all. She would never admit it though. Eventually they reached the apartment building Sam and Tara lived in. “See you around?” Sam asked, almost hopefully. Gale just nodded.

“Of course you will. I’m not abandoning you ever. We are part of the same fucked up family,” Gale responded. Sam felt tears prick her eyes, which made her hug Gale before she quickly walked inside. Gale just smiled, she was walking off to her own apartment then.

Tara was alone for the first time in a while, and she didn’t like it. Sam had gone on a date with Kirby to a fancy restaurant. Tara couldn’t fault Sam for that, in fact she loved that she was looking for a serious relationship now. She just hated being alone. Mindy was with Chad watching a film too so she had no one to call… except Gale. She didn’t want to bug her however so she sent her a quick text. ‘Hey. I’m home alone and I don’t like it. If you aren’t busy, is it ok if I can come over or you come over?’ the text read. Tara quickly pressed send before she could regret it.

What she didn’t expect was a quick response. ‘Coming over now! Anything you want to do?’ Gale had replied. Tara felt a smile coming on.

‘Thank you mom! Can we go to the cinema please? This might sound childish but Barbie movie?’ she responded happily.

‘Of course! Want me to walk you there?’ Gale texted back.

‘Please! Thank you, love you mom!’ Tara responded before she quickly got dressed as she was only in a bra and sweatpants. She put on some ripped jeans and a T-shirt for the band ‘Metallica’ that Chad owned. She admired herself in the mirror before nodding, declaring she was ready. She then grabbed her own bag and waited outside the door, looking down the hall to the elevators.

She got excited for every ding but when she saw it wasn’t Gale, she’d deflate… until Gale eventually came in a red dress and some black heels. Tara was visibly excited as she tapped her foot, resisting the urge to run over to her. She just started to walk over. Once close enough, she immediately hugged Gale. The older woman was shocked but hugged her back, smiling gently. “Hey honey,” she spoke quietly, just holding the smaller girl.

“Hello mom,” the smaller girl said in response.

“You ready?” Gale then asked, chuckling. Eagerly Tara nodded and was bouncing up and down.

“Yep!” she spoke. The 2 proceeded to the elevator, talking about how their day went and also where Sam was.

They soon arrived at the cinema as Tara was all the more excited, hugging onto Gale close. Gale just rubbed her back as she was going to the front with her. Once at the front, Tara took charge which surprised Gale. “2 tickets to Barbie please!” she spoke, vibrating with excitement which also seeped into her voice. The ticket seller chuckled just nodding.

“2 tickets for you both. Have a good film,” the guy just spoke, to which Tara nodded.

“Can we get snacks?” Tara shyly asked, Gale chuckled.

“Of course. It isn’t the cinema without slushies, popcorn and candy is it?” Gale joked. Tara was skipping towards the snack area then, looking at the options. The cashier was leaned back casually, looking over at both Tara and Gale. That’s when Gale went over. “2 slushies. Mine blue please. 1 big popcorn. What do you want T?” Gale asked.

“My slushie should be mixed. Can I also have crunchy M&M’s please?” she asked. She glanced at Gale who nodded. The cashier proceeded to take their change, the staff starting on their snacks.

Eventually they were in the movie after a bathroom break from both. They were rather excited for it, Gale getting it due to Tara’s excitement, it was contagious. Tara was practically shaking in her seat, Gale chuckling and shaking her head. “Mindy went to see it and she said it was good so I wanted to go but Sam didn’t want to. She wanted to watch Oppenheimer,” Tara explained.

“That’s fair. Reviews are good for Barbie so I was intrigued to,” Gale explained. Tara smiled happily at that.

She was happy with Gale, she felt loved by an older woman.

It was Sam’s 26th birthday, and Sam wasn’t expecting much. In fact she was about to ask if she was needed to work when Tara busted into her room and leaped onto her. “Gale’s here!” she spoke happily. Sam groaned as she was relaxed in bed.

“Morning Tara. And Gale’s here?” she asked, slowly sitting up as her tank top was rolling back down. Tara nodded as she was bouncing on her feet. “Guess I’ll get up then,” she added on as she swung her legs around to get out the bed then stood up. She was grabbing some sweatpants and a jacket then to cover herself up due to no bra and only wearing boxers. Tara smiled then left the room.

After 2 minutes, Sam was freshened up as much as possible. She had brushed her hair and put on deodorant too. “Hey Gale,” she spoke, walking into the living room and stretching.

“Hey honey. I tried to convince Tara to not wake you up but she did anyway,” Gale chuckled out. “Is that a hickey?” she then asked with a sly smirk. Sam immediately slapped the spot over her hickey.

“No,” she was quick to respond. Tara, who was in the kitchen, had to cover her mouth to stop laughing.

“Yep! She had Kirby over 2 nights ago to celebrate an early birthday,” she called out. She seemed to be holding a pan.

“Tara!” Sam yelled out, embarrassed. She was glad it was only Gale.

“It’s fine, don’t worry. I expect adults and older teens to do it so it’s fine,” Gale spoke before she led Sam to the table where there were 3 plates setup. Sam clearly had a confused look on her face due to Gale reassuring her this was ok and it was a birthday celebration. She was even more confused and as she was about to ask, Tara walked in with a separate plate with about 20 pancakes on them.

“These are made by me so if they taste like shit, I’m sorry,” Tara dloke causing Sam to laugh.

“Hey! You’ve improved with cooling, don’t say that,” Sam chuckled out. Tara smiled.

“Thank you,” she spoke, rushing to the kitchen once more before she was grabbing some maple syrup and golden syrup.

Soon everyone was sat down, 2 pancakes on each plate with chosen toppings. Sam also grabbed some lemon syrup and sugar in case Gale wanted that. Sam was first to take a bite. “These are really good Tar! Well done,” Sam spoke after swallowing. Tara couldn’t hide her pride at that as both Gale and Sam were eating. Tara was eating too. After 10 minutes, the stack was gone, Gale being full after 6 pancakes so the sisters ate more. Eventually Sam went to do the dishes but Gale stopped her.

“Let us do this. It’s your birthday,” Gale reassured. Sam blinked in shock, then nodded.

After 10 minutes the dishes were done and Sam had been watching the news while they did it, also texting Kirby. “Alright. We are going to surprise 1 in 20 minutes so if you need to shower and dress, go do that,” Gale chuckled out, seeing Sam still in her pyjamas. Sam was quick to get up before she grabbed her towel and showered.

Eventually Sam came out in a band t-shirt that fitted her nicely as well as a pair of blue jeans. “Alright. The first surprise is walking distance,”

Gale spoke. Tara smirked, she clearly knew what it was and that did scare Sam but she didn’t say anything. She liked the idea of a surprise after all, she hadn’t had one for a while, especially on her birthday. They all left the apartment, Gale leading the way as they all talked about their favourite breakfast food. Tara was learning what she could cook next after all.

Soon they had arrived to the place. It was a hedge maze, specifically a horror based one. Tara knew that Sam had always wanted to go one but never had the chance to get to one due to work or conflicting schedules. Tara smiled at Sam, who hugged her right. That’s when Sam offered the group a hug so Gale could join as well. Gale smiled as she took it. “Our slot is in 20 minutes so want a coffee?” Gale asked Sam, who was eager about it and was nodding.

“I need all the energy for this,” Sam explained laughing. Tara was just going to get water. That’s when they sat down, talking about something different this time. They talked about the best hot drink.

After 20 minutes, their slot opened which led to them exploring in a group, knowing it was better to be together than separated like some groups thought. They had their fair share of experiences after all. There was a jump scare every now and then with tense music playing. This was effective to the trio as they jumped at everything. Usually there would’ve been a Ghostface there but Gale had warned the establishment about their trauma with one so they didn’t have one that day. Gale wouldn’t admit she did that however. At the very moment they were being chased by Micheal Myers as they were trying to find the exit. They were laughing as they ran though, so they were still enjoying it. They had an hour to find an exit, which they managed to find in 30 minutes, being in second place for getting out. That’s when they all decided to chill out for a while before the next surprise.

After 30 minutes and a coffee break, they arrived. It was at a cafe, specifically Sam’s favourite cafe. Street End Cafe. Sam was happy as they served the best sausage rolls and cake, it was near the gym so she would come over once a week or every 2 weeks and have her usual. They sat down at her favourite spot too. “Hey Sam, Gale and Tara. I am your server for today, my name is John as Sam knows. Call me if you need anything,” the waiter spoke, putting the menu down before walking away, letting them choose. Sam already knew what she wanted though. Gale and Tara proceeded to look before both settled on sandwiches. Tara was having tuna and cucumber while Gale was having a ham salad sandwich. They also chose drinks. Sam would have a coffee again, Gale would have water and Tara would have orange juice.

“What would you like to order?” John asked the trio. “Happy birthday to Sam.”

“Thank you. I’ll have my usual please,” she spoke.

“Tuna sandwich with cucumber please and an orange juice,” Tara asked for.

“A ham salad sandwich with water please,” Gale spoke. John wrote down all the orders before leaving.

“What’s your usual?” Tara asked Sam curiously.

“Sausage roll with the slice of lemon cake,” she chuckled out. “Obviously a coffee too. They make the best!” Gale nodded.

“Try it out next time then,” Gale responded.

Soon the drinks had come out and John was careful putting them out. He nodded at the 3 before he left again. “So how is the place treating you?” Gale asked the girls, wondering if the apartment was enough.

“It’s treating us well! It has room for everything, even my treadmill and weights,” Sam spoke as Tara nodded.

“Yeah, it’s perfect for us,” Tara agreed with a smile. “Good, I’m glad about that. It’s good for movies too, isn’t it?” she chuckled out.

“The best! We have watched so much just because it’s there. Thank you for letting us borrow your subscriptions,” Tara thanked her.

“No problem love,” Gale spoke. Sam nodded with a smile. The food arrived then, as John was quick to leave again. They were quickly eating as they had one more surprise, which they made clear also had a time to get to.

They finished in record time as they all chatted as well about the most recent musicals that came out and which ones they would like to see. Tara and Sam both wanted to see Beetlejuice though. Gale was happy to watch whatever was on. They were soon starting to walk on the street after paying. They were soon debating pineapple on pizza. Gale and Tara was against it while Sam was for it. This was quite fun, for at least until they arrived at the destination. It was the theatre, and they could all see the happiness from Sam’s face. Tara then grabbed the tickets out her pocket and handed them over to Sam, a smile held on her face. A genuine one. She read what show they were seeing, happy to see it was Beetlejuice. “You guys…” Sam spoke and was smiling gently. She was having a good birthday.

She was happy. “Thank you mom,” she told Gale and hugged her, then thanked Gafa as she also hugged her. They were all happy with everything.

It was a week after Sam’s birthday, and it was the anniversary of Amber’s death. She had been plagued by nightmares for a week, which she had managed to hide. What she couldn’t hide however was the wet sheets she had, covered in sweat and piss. She was ashamed. She knew Sam knew, but Sam didn’t dare say anything. She had invited Gale over on the anniversary of what happened as she knew that all of them would need some good support on the night. It was working perfectly their support system, and Sam was openly saying mom now. She wasn’t nervous about it.

Gale had arrived at 6pm. It was currently 11pm and everyone was getting tired. They had just watched films and ate and talked, so they decided it was time to sleep. Everyone had settled down as they were laid on their own bed. Tara was in the furthest bedroom by her own choice, not wanting her mother figure to know she pissed herself at night from nightmares about Ghostface.

It was about 2am when screaming could be heard from Tara’s room. Sam was the first to rush up as she was running over to the room, Gale behind her. “Nightmares huh?” she asked. “All week,” she answered. They were soon at the room as Sam knocked before walking in. Tara was huddled under her sheets as she was shaking violently. Sam noticed the wetness, as well as Gale. “Oh honey,” Gale spoke gently, going to sit next to her and was rubbing her sides as Tara let out a whimper, then a sob as all the tears came rushing out. “Come on, let’s get you out of the soaked bed, and talk. Is that ok honey?” Gale asked. Tara, embarrassed, nodded before she was slipping out and was covering the wet patch. Sam already got new trousers out for Tara as she was stripping the bed, letting Gale and Tara speak as she would get her new bedding too. She was thankful about the mattress protector at least.

Tara, not caring, quickly changed into the new trousers, Gale looking away respectively before she held the smaller girl. “Just let it all out, and then we can talk,” Gale explained from experience. It took around 5 minutes later before Tara started. “I had a nightmare of… missing my shot and Amber stabbing Sam and killing her. It.. it scares me. It hurt that my lover was Ghostface… and Sam was dead from her. I then also see Quinn joining in. That’s also worst because I had a crush on her, and she stabs her in the heart before she stabs me and kills me. That’s when I wake up,” Tara spoke, crying still but not as bad. At the end, she did cry more. Sam, who was listening in, walked in with 3 waters for everyone. “I’m still alive, you don’t have to worry about me being killed now. I will be alive for you, and be here for you at any moment in life,” Sam spoke, sitting next to Tara and wrapped an arm around her waist, while Gale was holding Tara’s hand gently. Tara, tears in eyes, nodded as she was looking at both of them as she was soon taking a sip of the water. She felt realed, knowing they were safe.

They were all soon cooped up in the living room, watching TV knowing that none of them could sleep without anyone anymore. They soon drifted off together on each other, having good dreams.

It was nearing Rememberance Day, and both girls were sick. Tara had gotten a stomach bug, which Sam also got due to close contact. They both didn’t say to Gale however, not wanting her to worry. They had completely forgotten about their movie night however, so when they didn’t appear, Gale was concerned. She was sat on her couch, and grabbed her phone as she was texting Sam. ‘You coming late? Or are you ok?’ she texted Sam.

Sam was shocked to hear her phone go off, and groaned as she was looking at her phone. She paled when she saw the message but answered nonetheless. ‘We’re sick. Sorry. Forgot to mention’ she texted before she was going back to bed. She missed the next message.

‘I’m coming over’ Gale had texted. If Sam was awake, she would’ve stopped her. She wasn’t however. It was about 40 minutes later when she heard the door open. She was tensed up, knowing she was too weak to fight. She grabbed the bin before she threw up. That’s when Gale was in the doorway of the room and was holding Sam’s hair back. “It’s ok,” she spoke gently. Sam nodded before she was collapsing back in bed. “You aren’t meant to be here,” she rasped out. Gale smirked. “I know. But you are my children so I have to help out, don’t I?” she spoke. Sam smiled gently. Christina never helped them when they were sick after their dad left. “I’ll make you both some soup and make you drink some water. You look skinnier and I don’t like that,” Gale added on and went to the kitchen. “Go to your sister if you can please, it’ll be easier to take care of you 2 then,” she laughed out. Sam nodded, grasping the bucket and was slowly going over to Tara’s room.

Gale meanwhile was wandering over to the kitchen and was getting the things prepared for a chicken and vegetable soup. The vegetables were carrots and celeries with some peas. She was cooking them, putting on some classical music. She felt pity for the 2 girls, knowing they were not ok and was suffering with a stomach bug. She didn’t care if she got herself sick, she was more bothered about her daughters. She was soon done with the soup as she was quick to put it in bowls. She then got some glasses from the cupboard and got them water. Searching around the kitchen, she found a tray and set both the soups and waters onto the tray to which she was starting to walk over to the room. She took her time to be careful with what was on the tray. Soon, she kicked the door open gently and set it down nearer to the girls. Sam was holding Tara gently as Tara was yawning. “Hi mom,” she mumbled out quietly and was blinking rapidly to try and wake up. “Hey kid. Made you some soup,” she responded quietly, gently. Sam smiled gently. “Here you both go. Eat it up and you can rest after,” she added on, handing the food over. Sam and Tara both took it.

“What if you get sick?” Tara rasped out, starting to eat the soup. Gale shrugged.

“I don’t have work for a week, so if I’m sick, oh well. I have more sick days,” Gale responded, willing to help her kids. Tara and Sam smiled. “Thank you,” Tara murmured out, before she kept eating. Gale nodded.

She would stay by her kids sides no matter what, even if there was a risk. They were her kids after all, she would go to Hell for them.

It was a Saturday night. Tara was with Mindy and Chad at their apartment they both agreed to share together, as they were watching horror movies, mainly the Stab series and also some of Tara’s movies. Since Sam was alone and she hated it, she went to the closest pub called ‘The Dog House’. She was sat at the front of a bar, wearing a hoodie with the name ‘Carpenter’ on her back and some black sweatpants. She was drinking whatever she was offered, just needing to forget about everything for a moment. She believed she was drinking a Peroni at the moment.

She jumped when she felt her shoulder be touched and she turned around, shocked to see Gale. “Hey Sam, how are you doing?” she spoke, sitting next to her. Sam shrugged, taking a swig before she responded.

“Could be better, could be worse,” she responded, her eyes clouded over. It was clear she was wanting to get drunk that night, which Gale couldn’t blame her for. She was just scared she would get addicted again. She didn’t want that after hearing how Sam felt when she was drunk. “I see. Do you want to talk about anything?” Gale asked as she ordered a glass of red wine. She didn’t care what brand or about cost. Sam was thinking before nodding. “I just… I’m scared of every alley, every masked person and the dreams haunt me everywhere. I still see Billy every now and then and it scares me. I’m scared no drug will ever work,” Sam admitted. She kept drinking as she spoke, her raw emotions being heard. Gale nodded as she was listening. “I know how that feels… minus the last bit. No one can understand what you are going through with that and I am so sorry about that,” Gale spoke, rubbing Sam’s shoulder. “The best advice I can give is sleeping medication, calm music and being armed 24/7,” Gale admitted, showing the gun she was hiding in her skirt. Sam just smiled and showed her own taser in her hoodie pocket. Gale smirked as she took a sip of her drink, paying the price with an extra tip. “Hey. Sam. You are stronger than your demons, trust me. You are such a good kid, you didn’t deserve what happened. I wish you had a normal life,” Gale added on as Sam ordered another vodka and coke. Sam nodded grimly.

“Well, I didn’t,” Sam then spoke, taking a sip as she was looking down in shame at her history. Gale nodded before she was thinking of a different conversation they could have.

“If you was to have a different life, what would you want it to be?” Gale asked curiously.

“A gym trainer still but with my parents being actors that were famous but not too famous,” Sam answered. “I would be loved, Tara would still be my sister and I wouldn’t have to deal with Ghostface. No offfence,” Sam added on as she thought more. Gale just smiled the same smile when Tara said sorry and didn’t mean it.

“It’s fine, it’s fair,” she spoke. “It is stressful after all, and you lose people you love a lot. It.. sucks but it is what it is. You keep on going for the people you lost,” she explained. Sam nodded.

“Thank you for listening to me,” she spoke, chugging the last bit. “Is it ok if I spend the night at your apartment. I am not sober enough to be alone and I’m scared Ghostface’ll come back,” Sam spoke, blinking a lot as she got up, stumbling a bit. Gale caught her then nodded. “Want me to lead you there?” Gale asked curiously.

“Please,” Sam spoke, leaning into Gale. They both started to walk away from the bar then, slowly going towards Gale’s house. There was some stumbling along the way and catcallers, but Gale managed to scarer them off. That’s when she went into her apartment. Sam was asleep in her arms, and Gale couldn’t help but smile. She decided to set her in her own bed as she decided to sleep on the couch.

Sam deserved it more, especially with how she was feeling.

It had been a few tough years for everyone, but Tara was graduating. Sam was still a gym trainer, but was being paid a bit more now. Tara had also already found a job as a sound director for a studio with good pay. This called for a celebration both Gale and Sam thought so they had planned some ideas. One of the plans was putting up decorations, which they did while Tara was preparing for graduation, practicing her walk at college. They put up banners and balleoons, where the banners said ‘Happy Graduation’ and ‘Well Done’. They were making sure everything was ready when they finally started to cook the food. They were planning on pasta, which would be made when Tara was back as it would be quick, but they were also making casserole.

That’s when they went to the graduation, watching it as they were smiling, happy Tara had passed, and also was able to find a job just as quick. Tara didn’t mess up on stage luckily as she got her award and shook the guest speakers hand. She was then back in her seat just as quick as it started. Sam was grinning as she clapped the hardest next to Gale. Once everyone else wa done, and the guest speaker spoke, they all left. This led to them meeting outside, Mindy and Chad already gone as they were with their mother, and was going to Woodsboro for a little while. Once Tara saw them, she hobbled over and hugged both her mom and Sam. “Well done kiddo,” Gale spoke, kissing Tara’s forehead. “You did good, considering how you was in highschool,” Sam teased, ruffling Tara’s hair. Tara rolled her eyes and smiled as she leaned into both.

“Can we go now?” she asked, hugging them still.

“Of course,” Gale spoke and kissed her forehead again, before leading the 2 girls to her truck as she was smirking. “You guys ready for a party of your lifetime?” she asked. Sam had told Tara about their party already so she wasn’t as surprised and scared, just not what was planned. Tara was shotgun as she was putting on her own music, looking outside as she was relaxed. Eventually they were back at the apartment, Sam helping Tara out as she decided to get her crutches. Tara’s chronic pain was back after all. Gale also helped her out as Sam was on her other side. Tara had learnt how to ask for help and accept it now, Sam was happy about that. Once inside, Tara looked around at the banners and the balloons. “Thank you…” she spoke gently as she was hopping around on her crutches, Gale quick to get the pasta on as the sauce was done. That’s when she saw the food.

She felt celebrated as she looked at Sam and Gale… this was her family.

#scream #motherly gale #ratboy writing #ratboy writes #tara carpenter #sam carpenter #tara definitely has chronic pain

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mae-gi-writes · 2 years

Text

DRIVER'S LICENSE || LEE HYUNJAE

Driving lessons with your best friend seems pretty tame. Except, they're not.

Genre: bestfriends to lovers! Au, part-time uber driver hyunjae, young adult! Au, mentions of sexual harrassment.

Words: A lot.

A/N: I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG BUT I SWEAR I AM STILL WRITING. i just have no time to be constant so i apologize for my sporadic updates :( enjoy this one! It's a cute one!

—————

"You can cry if you want."

You hope the glare you throw Hyunjae over the rim of your glasses is enough to shut him up. But like anything else, Hyunjae never does know how to shut up about stuff. Any stuff, for that matter.

He babbles on, unknown to the murderous intent forming at the back of your head, "I mean, you could have done all you could but driving is hard. You're not a loser for failing and you're definitely not a loser for crying about it."

"I swear I will throw this tomato at your face if you don't stop talking," you warn, hand already reaching for the tomato beside your chopping board. You're in the middle of cooking up a simple lentil and tomato stew, not bothered with your usual meat and vegetables combo that work supposed wonders on your diet and lifestyle (whatever the fuck that means).

You're usually not this carefree when it comes to food. You always have your meals planned for the week, the weekend, the snacks, everything in between. You've grown up this way, counting nutrients and macros and micro calories until it comes as natural as breathing does.

But you're a mess right now. You're a mess and you don't give a flying pig's fuck whether you're eating all the right nutrients for the day. Not today. Nope.

It's just... you do know that driving isn't everything. It's not. There's wars happening, there are people losing their lives, there are countries struggling to keep their finances afloat and families who are counting every penny they're making just to make it through another day. And when you put things into perspective, you can't help but think of how privileged you are to be even standing here, in a flat of your own with food you buy with your own money. Your family is safe, your family is healthy. Honestly, what more do you need?

And yet.

That driving test had been so important to you. You'd already put aside some money to buy this second-hand toyota vitz that you've had your eyes on for over six months, you want -- no, crave -- this desire to drive. To be free.

And the worst part -- you could've done so much better than this. Than whatever had happened on the road this morning.

"What mistakes did you make? You're allowed up to three mistakes until you fail right?" Hyunjae asks as he lifts himself up from the couch, where he's been stationed for the past hour, "do you need help by the way?"

"No I don't," your scowl deepens despite knowing Hyunjae and the driving test are not related. Not onr bit, "I crossed the yellow box at the intersection. And I turned a little too aggressively apparently. And then there was stupid stuff too, like switching lanes. I was too close to the white line as I waited."

"Bullshit."

"See?! It is bullshit! I mean, the errors are so ambiguous!" Your hands shoot up in exasperation, "I don't get it! And some people pass on the first try."

Hyunjae can't help but snort, "like me."

"You don't have to rub that in my face."

You're too busy sliding in your tomatoes into the pot to notice Hyunjae's figure moving over to stand next to you, until your elbow bumps into his stomach.

"Ouch," he grimaces.

"What do you expect? You're in my way," you answer back with a roll of your eyes. You stir the pot, the aroma lifting up in the air and making you sigh in bliss. Hyunjae does the same. He's always loved your stews.

"I can help you out."

You don't look at him as you ask, "with what?"

"With the driving."

This time, you look up at him, browa furrowed in confusion, "you? Helping me with my driving? You barely even have time for yourself."

"I've cleared up my schedule for uber so I'm free on Wednesdays and Fridays. And the weekend."

"I thought you needed money," you turn to fetch two bowls from your cabinet, only to see them in Hyunjae's hands, ready to be served.

"I do, do you wanna pay me?"

You punch him lightly in the arm, grabbing one bowl at a time to serve a decent helping and of course, adding extra chicken pieces to the said young man's bowl.

"Are you serious?" You can't help but ask because in all honesty, Hyunjae ia a good driver, "I can definitely pay you...if that's not too much trouble for you."

"It'll be more fun to hear you complain while driving, that's for sure."

You show him the middle finger in response, which makes him laugh before following you to the dining table cramped with two chairs.

"So is that a yes?" Hyunjae asks with a mischievous gleam that makes him look like a little kid.

You throw him a pointed look, "I'm going to ask you again: you're sure about this?"

"Hundred percent."

"Do I get a discount?"

"No."

"Why?" You can't help but whine out, leaning over the table to give him the best puppy eyes you can muster up, "I can pay you back in free meals."

A spark lights up Hyunjae's eyes. He grins, cocking his head to the side, "now that, is a good deal."

---

"Watch out for the sidewalk--No! Don't--Don't turn!"

It's your first lesson with Hyunjae and it has been a week since the start of your small arrangement. It's Friday afternoon and you'd skipped your business management class in favour of driving around the neighbourhood with Hyunjae. Him, on the other hand, had cleared his schedule of any uber activities. And for that you're grateful.

However, it seems that your best friend has a temperament. And you're not quite sure whether that works at your advantage or not.

"Jesus Y/n," Hyunjae's breathing hard by the time you swerve back into your respected lane, chest heaving up and down and if you watch closely enough, you're certain you can spot the sweat dripping down his face, "no wonder you didn't pass your driving test."

"Thanks Hyun, that's exactly what I wanna hear right now," you retort.

"What do you want me to say? That you're an excellent driver when you're a danger hazard?!"

"Well no--but a little support would've been nice!"

He snorts at that, arms crossing over his chest, "you don't need support. You need someone to actually show you how to drive," a pause as you hit the brakes at the red light before you. That gives him a little moment to breathe. You see him turn towards you at the corner of your eye, "why didn't you continue with that driving school you used to go to?"

Instantly, your mood turns sour.

You don't answer. The light turns green and with a little more force than necessary, you swivel to the right, following the traffic crawling up one of the main streets.

"Hellooo," Hyunjae, however, doesn't pick up on the sudden change in mood, "you could at least not ignore the person trying to help you out here."

"I didn't have time."

You do know that your voice is coming out colder than expected. You hope Hyunjae is too oblivious to care.

"In any case -- oh, go. The car's moving," he directs you forward upon seeing the traffic ease up, "slowly, make sure to check out the upcoming red light. They dock marks when it turns yellow."

"That's such bull."

"Uhuh. Go right. Keep your vehicle steady," his hand rests on yours, gently turning the wheel and navigating you into the right position. You notice how big his hand is in comparison to yours.

You're turning onto another side road when you aak, "Has your hand always been this big?"

"Pfft. Honey, my hands have always been big," he wriggles his brows, "if you know what I mean."

You shove him, "dick."

You try not to let yourself think about what happened in driving school back then. The memory still haunts you even to this day, despite you brushing it off and hoping to carry this secret to your grave. There are many things you regret in life. One of them is continuing on with it despite of what was happening. How stupid--pathetic--an idiot.

Hyunjae, of course, doesn't know anything.

You meet him a few days later for another lesson in the heart of the city and you're waiting where driving school students usually do, when your eyes suddenly spot a familiar green vehicle in the distance.

You freeze.

It's him.

You blink. A shiver runs down your spine. Fear.

A hand on your thigh. You, unmoving, terror spreading like venom.

A voice in your ear. Disgusting.

The car turns and a gasp leaves you upon spotting his face. The world suddenly comes to a halt, blood freezing and air suddenlt getting sucked out of your chest.

It would have been impossible to avoid him forever. But you hadn't expected to see him again this soon.

You feel trapped. You can't breathe. Your legs feel like cement, stuck to the ground.

Your voice. You can't speak, you can't--

"Y/N."

You jump. Swivel around to see Hyunjae waiting for you with a confused furrow to his brow. He's looking pretty good, with a simple white shirt, checkered shirt thrown over the top, and dark jeans and sneakers to match.

"I've been calling your name for ages, you asleep or wha--" his words are cut off when you stride towards him, grab his arm to pull him away. Away from him. Away from all the mwntal pictures flashing before your eyes.

"Y/N?" He's calling after you, worry now lining his voice, "what-- what's wrong?"

"I--nothing I just--where's your car?"

"Y/N--Hold on. Wait," he grabs your shoulders, turning you around with a firm grip that's impossible to escape and though you avoid his eyes, drop your gaze to the ground, you know from the way he's tightened his hold that it hasn't escaped his notice.

He waits though. Until your door is closed, until you're already pulling out of the parking lot without a backwarda glance. Until you're driving down the road at full speed as if you're on the run for your life.

You don't know how much time has elapsed until Hyunjae calls your name. Once. Twice.

"Y/N."

"What?"

"Can you pull over to the side?" He points towards a free spot where another car is pulling out. You diligently slide in, and Hyunjae grabs onto the wheel for assistance. He makes sure you're well settled into your space before turning to you in a way that makes you squirm in place.

"Care to tell me what that was about?" His tone is serious, causing you to look away and swallow hard.

Of course he deserves explanations. It's just that... you don't know how to tell him.

"And don't tell me it's nothing," he cuts off your mental scramble with a finality to his tone, "you can't hide that from me Y/N. Who do you take me for?"

Crap.

"There's nothing to say," you lie. But it's useless, because Hyunjae has seen the fear stretching across your face, has noticed the terror glazing your eyes over.

His hand grasps your wrist, a familiar action he does whenever he tries calming you down, "tell me, Y/N."

You can't keep it in any longer.

You break.

You tell him everything. About how it had started with comments on your appearance at first, how pretty you looked today, how beautiful the clothes fitted on your body. You'd thought it weird but not weird enough to stop. So a polite thank you was your only response. Apparently, that had only escalated from there. His hand, venturing under the wheel to touch your knee, then slide up your thigh. And you, driving, terrified that doing something about it would be overreacting. Was it overreacting? You weren't sure. Of anything. And you were ashamed.

So ashamed.

The more you speak, the more tense Hyunjae seems to become. His jaw clenches and he fists his hand so hard in his lap that his knuckles turned white. He doesn't look at you, instead keeps his gaze on the vehicle before him and finally, when you're done and drying your eyes with the edge of your sweater while avoiding his at all costs, Hyunjae's hand slowly slips up to your shoulder and pulls you in.

He hugs you to his chest, not minding that your bodies were separated by a joystick. He tucks your head into the crook of his neck and it was only upon noticing the trail of tears on his shirt that you realize you're crying.

"I'm sorry," you attempt to pull away but Hyunjae halts you, arms locked into an iron cage of comfort that leaves you no choice but to melt even further into him.

When he speaks next, his voice is filled with silent, seething rage.

"How long has this been going on for?"

It scares you. And yet, the concern, the security that pools around you in layers of warmth in the form of Hyunjae's figure. He makes you feel safe. Heard. And most of all, not judged.

You shake your head. Time had blurred the moment this started happening. As if a recurring nightmare that would go on and on without end.

"Did he do anything else, Y/N?"

You don't answer, hiding your face into Hyunjae's neck.

"Y/N. I need to know. Did he do anything else?"

Maybe it's the way Hyunjae speaks that make you shiver. But you answer in a hoarse murmur:

"He--tried. But--I... I uhm, I--"

Hyunjae hugs you even tighter in response, though you can feel the physical tension running through his veins. He's burning, ready to explode and knowing Hyunjae, he's bound to get into a reckless fight just because of you.

"I'll kill him." He grovels out.

His words make your heart jump. You tug onto his shirt in response, "don't," you murmur, pulling back to look up at him, "don't do anything stupid."

He doesn't respond, but you feel his jaw clench. Reaching up to cup his cheek and turning his face to yours, you continue, "it's not worth it. And it's already done."

"He hurt you."

"Well, technically--"

"He hurt you, Y/N." Hyunjae's eyes darken menacingly, "I don't--I can't--" taking in a breath, he exhales shakily as though trying to regain a sense of control, "I can't let that slide."

"You can't beat him up for it. There's no proof. And you can't complain either--"

Anger flares through his nostrils, "what about the other girls he did that to? Are you just going to let it slide?"

"It's not worth it, not for you. If anything, I'm the one that should do something about it, " you try catching his gaze with your eyes after a moment of deliberately ignoring them, he does. And the anguish, the amount of emotion running, swirling through them is enough to knock the air out of your chest in one single breath.

You don't know how long you stare up at Hyunjae, him doing the same. You don't notice that his other arm has fallen to your waist, gently caressing the bit of skin underneath your shirt. Nor do you notice the way his heart speeds up as if he's just run a marathon in five minutes.

"Will you?"

"Hm?" you blink back to focus. Since when has Hyunjae been so close to you? Absentmindedly, you hear a car honk in the distance to remind you that you're still in the parking lot, and this is definitely still a public space.

"Will you do something about it?"

"I--" suddenly, it feels too hard to breathe. Hyunjae probably notices your inner turmoil, for he shushes you, hand smoothing down your back and pressing his head atop yours.

"I'm sorry I raised my voice at you," comes his murmur.

You shake your head, "that's nothing to apologize for."

"I still think you should go and report him to the driving school company he works for, at least."

Biting down so hard on your lip that you taste blood, you allow your eyes to fall to Hyunjae's collarbones and notice, for the first time, that he's got a scatter of moles across his neck. Cute.

"I will," you mumble in hopes that he'll be convinced. He isn't.

He grips your shoulders, turns you to him and says, "I know it's hard and I don't want to push you to do something you don't want to. But for the goodness of everyone else's and for the safety of the other students that are taking his lessons, you should report him."

You lower your head to his shoulder, "...I will."

How you will do such a thing, you're not quite sure.

But one thing you do know is that you haven't felt more safe anywhere else but in Hyunjae's arms and you wish this, this feeling can last forever.

As if listening in to your thoughts, Hyunjae snuggles even closer to you, dares a small kiss to be pressed upon your forehead.

"What's that for?" Your words echo against his nape.

He shifts against you without answering, though you hear his heart rate pick up through his chest.

"What?"

"You just..." your voice trails off at the last two words, "kissed me."

"No I didn't."

"Hm. Could've fooled me."

----

Nothing else was said on the matter of the forehead kiss. You did, however, pluck up your courage with two hands and, with Hyunjae's help, deposited a formal comppaint to the police station. Thankfully, both officers are kind and gentle with you, listening in attentively and assuring you that they will be looking into the matter as soon as possible.

"Since when has this been happening?" One of them asked while the other has his pen ready in hand. Outside, you can hear the bustling of police officers mixed in with landlines ringing in caocphony. It's no wonder the police are always running around the clock.

Is this a mistake? Just a waste of time?

"Hey," Hyunjae's voice brings you back to reality, one of his hands coming to a rest upon your own before he squeezes it softly.

Your eyes flutter up to meet his, and his tender smile makes your ribs contract.

"You okay?" He asks.

You croak out, "yeah."

You've never seen auch an attentive side to him before so it does surprise you, the way he coaxes words out of you as you continue babbling on about what your driving instructor had done, the way he gently guides you down the corridor, away from the policemen, away from the thought of what you'd just confessed in your own words.

He pushes open the door so that you can step outside and you take a shaky inhale, not noticing the way your best looks at you as if you've just opened up a whole entire universe to his eyes. A universe at which you're the center.

"Thank you," you can't meet his eyes. Not after everything that had just transpired.

"You don't have to thank me, Y/N."

"I do. It--that--I--" you stutter over your words as emotion catches in your throat, "I never would've been able to do that without you."

A few beats of silence pass, in which he gazes down at you, and you back up at him. Something stirs in the air, as new as a baby bird shaking its wings, as new as a butterfly breaking out of its cocoon for the first time.

His hand reaches for yours, pulls you closer until you have no choice but to look up at him, and the depth in his eyes makes your heart jump up to your throat.

"Proud of you," he murmurs.

You can't help but smile, "shut up."

"I really am," he pushes a strand of hair off your face. You feel the heat of a blush creep up your face. What? This is Hyunjae, the guy who'd make fun of you because you'd always sleep with your mouth open!

"W-We should probably head back." You stammer and proceed to side-step him. He lets you, allows the distance to grow once more between your bodies as you walk up to the said car. Nothing else is said during the drive back home and, despite the heavy realization that maybe you have a teeny tiny crush on your best friend, you try not to give that away when you say goodbye with a small sidehug.

"I'll see you around," you'te already gathering your things, scrambling to get out and away from him as soon as possible.

You don't even wait for him to say bye.

----

You could've imagined it.

The forehead kiss.

His hand holding yours.

The way he looks at you.

The more you try to push it out of your mind, the more Hyunjae seems to come haunt you.

You continue your driving lessons once per week, which does not help matters in the least. It's as if you brought your best friend back and yet, he'd do something like put his hand on the back of your seat, or place his hand upon yours to steer you in the right lane. More often than not, Hyunjae would lean over to direct you and you'd get a whiff of his deodorant. And oh my, had he always smelled this good?

"Earth to Y/N."

"What?" Your head whips up only to catch Hyunjae's eye as he strides to you. His hair is parted sideways this morning and he can almost pass as a model with those tight-ass jeans, black v-neck and metal chain hanging just above his collarbone.

The thing is, you've known Hyunjae all your life. You know that he knows how good he looks. And he'd played with those cards without fault today apparently.

" it's the D-Day," he grins wickedly, "how do you feel?"

"Like I'm about to throw up."

He takes a seat beside you, "you drive well. You just have to be careful of your turns and that you don't run over any red lights."

"But it's so hard! And you know how unlucky I am when it comes to that!"

"You'll be fine," he holds your gaze, "I promise."

You were not.

It's only fifteen minutes later that you step out of the police car, tears stinging the back of your eyes as you make your way back to the police station as shame crawls all over your tummy. The police woman recites off all your mistakes but you're barely listening, the rush in your ears so loud that you only nod in response to all her complaints and by the time you do make it out of the police office, you're disoriented, lost. Unsure of what to do.

You find Hyunjae or rather, he finds you in the middle of the parking lot, glassy-eyed and flushed to your toes.

"I'm such a loser," is the first thing you say to him, almost laughing at yourself. Except this situation is not funny at all and you soon realize that you’ll have to do this again, and again, and again, until you somehow miraculously get this stupid piece of paper that doesn’t even mean much in the real world. That fact alone is frustrating in itself and you swear you almost break down right then and there, if not for Hyunjae’s firm grasp on your shoulder, propelling you out of your thoughts.

“You did nothing wrong,” he looks into your eyes, searches your gaze until he’s sure you’re finally looking at him and not through him, “and we’ll keep trying until you get it. There’s no shame in failing a driving test Y/N. You know that right?”

“For you probably,” you mumble.

He pulls you into a hug then, as if that might solve all the problems that seem to burst out of your life. Though it does calm you down, the way his chest presses against yours, the way his warmth engulfs your entirety, like you can drown yourself in him if you really want to.

You briefly wonder whether he’s aware of the effect he has on you, but decide against saying anything. You’ve said enough for today.

So you only hold on to him even tighter if that’s possible before breathing in deep. Hyunjae’s scent fills your nose and you’d be a liar to say that it doesn’t ease your worries, because it does.

You’re not sure how you feel about that.

The more you try to push away thoughts of your best friend being what people called "boyfriend material", the more his presence haunts you. It's impossible to go five minutes without thinking of the way his body feels when he leans over you, or the way his hand covers yours, or the way butterflies erupt in your chest when he looks at you for a little too long.

To the point where it annoys you, grates at your nerves. So annoying.

It seems though, that fate isn't on your side, when you bump into him on your way home from work.

"Hello stranger," his face eases out into that mischievous grin that makes your cheeks warm. You look away, as if burnt, "you've been avoiding me."

"I've been busy," you retort, "and I have other friends."

"But I'm your favourite, right?" He wriggles his brows as he follows you to your said bus stop. It's the middle of the week, around five in the evening, and the place is void from people.

That doesn't help. That leaves you alone with him. You can't have that.

"What's going on with your driving? You haven't asked to meet up after your test," Hyunjae asks.

"Ugh I don't even want to think about it," you grumble.

"You don't want to pay me anymore?"

"Stop being so dramatic, Hyunjae. You know that's a lie."

"So you're avoiding me then?"

"What makes you think that?" You scoff, looking down at the scuff of your shoes, at the end of your road. Anything to avoid Hyunjae if you can help it.

"Well you're not looking at me, for one."

You look up, frowning, "that's not--"

Hyunjae stepping forward to trap you against the wall of the bus stop has you yelping in shock. Dipping his head towards yours with a smirk that causes you to squirm in place, his arm presses against the wall to trap you in, heat against heat. Tempting.

Your head is buzzing. You feel dizzy. Light-headed.

Suddenly, it's hard to breathe.

“What are you—“ the words catch in the back of your throat upon seeing his face up close, so close to yours. You turn your head away, only for his fingers to grasp your chin, turn you back to face him with again, that mischievous glint in his eye, almost as if he’s a five year old boy ready to tease you senseless about your unexplainable crush on him—

You do not have a crush on him. As if on cue, you take a sharp breath.

Hyunjae notices, causing his smirk to grow wider, “so,” he says as casually as you would discuss today’s weather forecast, “my dear Y/N, I’d like to ask you something—“

“Please don’t.”

“—Because I think that you and I have—“

“Shut up Hyunjae—“

“—still have things to discuss and you—“

“I said shut up!”

“—do you like me like I do?”

You’re about ready to kick him at this point, to throttle him with bare hands. That is, until the weight of his words sink in.

You blink up at him, momentarily lost. Did you hear him correctly or is that another figment of your imagination? Because in a universe tucked away from this reality, you and Hyunjae are — well, if you’re being honest with yourself — fully immersed in each other’s being. It’s a pathetic secret that you’ve merely realized was true a few nights ago as you lay in bed, wide-eyed and staring up at the ceiling, and wondered why your heart beat so fast whenever Hyunjae’s name floats to mind.

Hyunjae prods the side of your hip, bringing you out of your sudden daze, “hello? Did you hear what I just said?”

“Wha—I—Did you—I—“ you can’t help but splutter out and making him chuckle deeply as his hand reaches up to curl a strand of hair behind your ear. You feel the heat ignite within your chest, so tight and bundled up in a knot of fire that makes you squirm in place and — why the heck was he so close?!

Amused brown eyes gaze down at your flushed face, though his grip on your chin is firm, stopping any attempts for you to hide your face somewhere, anywhere. His body, his warmth, you can feel it. The heat that buzzes between you, a tension that’s been pulled tight like an elastic band and ready to pop at any given moment.

“Hey,” Hyunjae murmurs.

You bite your lip. Your eyes flit to his, then back up to his.

Your heart lurches at the tenderness swimming in his orbs.

“Wh-What?” Your heart is pounding.

“Are we…” Hyunjae searches your gaze for a moment as the tension wraps around you in a tighter embrace, “…can I…kiss you?””

You don’t know what to say. You don’t know what you can say to such words, except that there’s no denying the jolt that your heart gives, practically jumping up your throat as it tightens. Which is why you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind:

“Are you flirting with me?”

Hyunjae blinks. You blink back. Then, horror seeps in.

Oh no.

Oh no no no—

But he bursts out laughing, “yes Y/N, I am — well, no — I’m trying to flirt with you. I have been trying for ages now.”

“Stop shitting me.”

“I swear it on my mother’s head that I am not shitting you,” Hyunjae’s hand releases your chin to raise it at his side and despite yourself, you miss the warmth of his fingertips, “ask the rest of the boys if you’re not convinced.”

“Is this why you wanted to give me driving lessons?”

“Well…” He grimaces, “partly, yes. But I also genuinely wanted you to pass your driving test.”

That earns him a hit on his arm, causing him to yelp, “ouch! What? What did I do? I helped you!” He whines out like a kicked puppy and though you’re aware that Hyunjae is a little too close and that it should’ve made you more uncomfortable that he’s in your personal space, you can’t help but laugh at his expression. He joins you soon enough, all grins and smiles. His free hand absentmindedly drops to your hip to draw comforting circles.

Your small moment is broken when a bus pulls up. Your bus. And though you should’ve been more surprised when the said young man decidedly hops on to accompany you home, there’s something that shifted in the air between you. The ball is in your court now, you know Hyunjae feels and there’s a warm glow that seems to spread across your heart and tingle at your fingertips the more time you spend pondering over the thought that yes, you want this. You want this as much as he does. Maybe more.

He goes back to being your best friend during the bus ride home and it isn’t until he walks you up to your apartment door that nervousness creeps up on you again.

“Thanks for dropping me off. You didn’t have to do that,” you tell him.

He answers with a raised brow, “I only accompanied you home because I’m waiting for an answer. A positive one, hopefully.”

“What answer?” You play dumb.

“Don’t make me repeat it again. My ego’s already gone under the bus. Do you really have to do that?”

You only grin up at him.

He sighs, “fine. Y/N, I like you and I’d like to know if you like me too because otherwise I don’t think we’ll be able to be best friends anymore. On top of that, I don’t think I can keep the promise of being your best man at your wedding—“

Your hand clamps upon his t-shirt and you tug him down, cutting off his speech as your lips press against his in a short, sweet kiss.

Hyunjae’s eyes are glazed over when you pull back, looking at you as if he’s seeing you for the first time.

“Wow.” He murmurs, and before you know it he’s wrapped his arms around you, pushed you back against your front door, before his lips lock upon yours.

Wow is an understatement.

His mouth, so gentle yet firm, opens up against yours. His arms firmly press you to his chest and your hands flatten against his t-shirt, instinctively curling into the material when he parts your mouth and kisses you till your head starts spinning. You never would’ve taken Hyunjae for a gentle kisser, but the way he handles you with care — cupping your face with one hand to tilt your head sideways — causes tingles of excitement to shoot down to your stomach down to your toes.

Every color of the rainbow imaginable bursts behind your lids the more you kiss like you’ll never kiss again for the rest of your life. Pressing you against the door, a gasp suddenly falls from your mouth upon feeling his chest against yours, and that urges his tongue to slip past your lips into your mouth. You moan softly, the slightest of sounds that rumble at the back of your throat, but Hyunjae’s satisfied growl is enough to send your stomach cartwheeling with fireworks. His hands pull you even more insistently, slipping past the material of your shirt to rest against your naked skin, leaving you gasping against him as your hands slip up to the back of his head to fist into those gorgeous locks of his.

Hyunjae grunts in pleasure, tongue tangling up with yours and one hand tracing random shapes along the small of your spine. One of his legs slip between your thighs, causing you to gasp at the sensation. His only response is to drop a hand to your thigh and before you realize what he’s doing, he’s pulled your leg up to hook it around his waist as another soft growl of satisfaction rumbles from the back of his throat.

You can't hold back the whimper escaping you as he traces patterns up your clothed thigh.

"Hyunjae," you gasp out when your lips disentangle so that his dot a line of kisses down to your jaw, "you--"

You never thought of your best friend, capable of doing such things.

You never thought of your best friend, and doing such things with him.

It causes heat to spring up your entire body. It feels all kinds of wrong and all kinds of right at the same time. But one thing for sure is that it feels good. Too good.

He grumbles out something that sounds like, "don't move," mouth echoing kisses along your neck. He brushes along a sensitive spot, causing you to let out a sharp breath and grasp onto his shirt like he's the last thing keeping you afloat.

Pulling back only for air, you're met with his brown eyes filled with such naked affection that makes your tummy twist inside out.

Your nose brushes against his tenderly. With affection.

And when he gives you a smile, it is one filled with a feeling so exhilarating that it knocks the air out of your chest.

He's so beautiful.

"I--" you're at loss for words. What to say when there's nothing that can match the way he makes you feel?

And when he speaks next, his alto has dipped to a murmur:

"I like you."

Your breath catches in your throat.

"I mean, I wouldn't be kissing you if I didn't," he chuckles nervously, pulling back and allowing his hold on your thigh to fall slack, "I couldn't help myself, sorry, maybe I should've asked--"

You tug him to you and kiss his next words away, and the young man moans, kissing back hungrily, even following your lips once you pull back.

"I would've punched you if I didn't like you," you whisper.

As if unconsciously, your hand reaches up to his cheek, thumb stroking over his cheekbone.

He shivers at your touch, leans into it before closing his eyes, "so...you think we can go out for a coffee sometime?"

You can't help the smile that breaks over your face, "if you let me drive us there."

328 notes · View notes

ashboy-3 · 9 months

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Love is a Disease

Fandom: Marvel, Iron Man, and Spiderman Prompt: Hanahaki character: Tony, Peter, Ned, MJ, Happy, Aunt May Words: 2666 Summary: Peter was in love with Tony before he met the man. He knows that those feelings will never be returned. what is he to do though when he has these feelings and a dangerous disease as well? Warnings: small amounts of blood, unrequited love

“See you on Friday Mr. Stark!”

“How many times do I have to tell you kid, it’s Tony,” the billionaire rolled his eyes, but still smiled fondly as he waved bye at Peter. The kid has come a long way since Tony first met him. Before he was fixing up old tech in the trash and running around in pajamas and now look at him. Wearing a high-tech super suit while working, i.e., running, Stark industries. Neither one of them thought that this would be in their lives, but they wouldn’t change it for the world.

Peter stopped waving and got in the car that Happy had pulled around for him. He doesn’t always have Happy drive him, but Tony gets worried if Peter takes public transportation to often, something that he will never understand.

“You ready to go kid?” Happy asked, getting into the driver seat.

“Yep! But take you time, Aunt May is cooking tonight,” Peter joked, making Happy laugh and Peter smile, a nice change from when they first met each other.

The ride wasn’t long, but Happy still asked about his day and what he did with Tony and Peter was happy to tell, even with the burn in his throat.

“You okay kid?” Happy asked, looking in the rearview mirror, hearing Peter cough violently.

“I’m fine. Just got something stuck in my throat,” Peter waved him off, coughing in his hand one last time and easily hiding the contents in his hand, slipping it into his pocket.

Happy eyed him, clearly not believing him, but knew he wouldn’t get much out of the kid.

“Tell May I said hi,” Happy said, putting the car in park outside of Peter’s apartment complex.

“Don’t worry I will,” Peter waved bye, getting out of the car and shutting the door.

“Aunt May I’m home,” Peter entered the door, walking into the living room to see smoke coming from a pot.

“Oh, Peter I’m sorry. Maybe we should just go out for tonight?” she suggested, looking disappointed.

“Hey it’s fine. I don’t mind. One day you’ll get the recipe down,” Peter comforted. “Just let me go put my bag down.”

Once he was in his room, he quietly locked the door as he grabbed the contents of what he coughed up, already knowing what they are. Red poppies and yellow chrysanthemums. One meaning death the other meaning love filled with sorrow or unrequited. It fit perfectly for Peter. As he looked at the flowers to dispose of them it was the first time that he saw them with splashes of blood. Rubbing his hand on his throat he tried to feel for any lasting pain, but all he felt was smooth skin.

Tossing the flowers in a small container he keeps under his bed, not willing to through away the beautiful flowers, he walked back to his room, ready to go out for dinner with May.

It was a nice dinner, with May asking about what he did with Tony at the tower, is Ned or MJ coming over to his house soon or is he hanging out with them? What are the avengers up to? It was a nice catch up that Peter was happy to have, then it was off to school the next day.

“Hey Nerd,” Mj greeted, sitting next to him.

“Hey Pete!” Ned greeted sitting on the other side of him.

“Sup guys,” Peter greeted.

“Alright class. You senior year is almost over, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not done with class. For the last portion we are going to go over modern times. We’ve already talked about some of the Heroes of our generation and how they shaped us, such as Captain America or Bruce Banner, but there are plenty that we still need to go over. For this lesson we are going to go over Tony Stark and Pepper Potts,” the teacher said, and Peter did not expect his body to have the violent reaction that it did to just hearing the man’s name. It was a change that must have happened during the weekend.

“You okay Pete?” Ned whispered loudly, and while Peter loved his friend, he hated the attention it gained of the rest of the class.

“I’m fine,” Peter said, probably too harshly, but he couldn’t focus on that right now. His body wanted nothing more than to get rid of the flowers growing within him.

“Dude you really don’t look so good,” Ned spoke softly as Peter’s grip around his stomach tightened,

“Ned I’m fine. Listen to the lecture,” Peter hissed out, hating how his friend flinched.

“Mr. Parker?” the teacher questioned.

“Yes ma’am,” Peter asked, not looking her in the eyes.

“Is everything okay?” getting the attention of the full class.

“Yes ma’am I’m fi-“Peter didn’t get to finish as his two friends betrayed him.

“No ma’am something’s wrong. Ned and I are going to take him to the nurses office,” MJ decided, standing up to help him up, Ned rushing behind her.

Peter is ashamed to admit that he didn’t have the strength to fight them.

“Very well. Be quick,” the teacher told them by the time they were halfway out the door.

“Peter-. . .Prvate. . .fw mintes,” Peter barely caught the conversation that was happening, but he noticed that MJ might have somehow got the nurse to leave them alone.

Not able to hold it in anymore, Peter ran to the closet surface he could find, luckily it was a sink, as he coughed and gagged. The red and gold petals flowed out, all covered in blood, green leaves following behind them. There was one bad part at the end that Peter suffered greatly through. He wasn’t paying attention to his friends, didn’t notice the sad look on their faces or how MJ quicky got her mind together and pushed Ned out. Didn’t notice when she walked closer to start rubbing his back comforting. Didn’t see her wince when an actual stem of the flower came from his mouth, but when he was done and sweaty, she grabbed a cold rag and wiped his sweat away as she handed him a glass of water, helping him to the small cot.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?” she asked in a tone that Peter wasn’t used to.

The lie was on the tip of his tongue. He could easily open his mouth and tell her that he has no idea. She wouldn’t believe him, but they’re both stubborn when they need to be. He could answer her questions in circles and make her angry. . .but Peter couldn’t do that. Not after holding this secret in for four years, not since hiding it since his freshman year. He would give anything to let one person know about the hell he was in.

“I’m in love,” Peter spoke quietly, tears gathering at his eyes. MJ didn’t have anything sarcastic or condescending to say. Peter wanted to tell her who it was, could tell when he looked in her eyes that she already knew, he just needed to do the one thing he could never bring himself to do, admit who it is out loud.

“It’s okay,” she whispered as he finally broke down, sobs heaving out of him as he shook violently.

“I’m in love MJ,” Peter gripped on to her, hard. “I’m in love with Tony!”

“I know,” she whispered, rubbing circles, not caring that Peter’s head was shoved on her shirt, making it a mess of snot and tears.

“I can’t tell him! I can’t tell him! I can’t tell him,” Peter started to rock, the old thing grounding him was MJ’s hands around his shoulders.

“You don’t have to, but. . .” Peter knew, even when he was breaking down into a panic, what she wanted him to choose. Instead of continuing the thought she let him brake down, staying with him for as long as he needs her to.

Peter doesn’t know how long it was, but soon he was calm enough and was able to move away from his friend, give her the privacy she loves so much, but MJ wouldn’t let him. She knows what her friend needs in this moment and it’s not rejection.

“Peter. You don’t have to tell him, but you have to make a decision. This will kill you,” she rubbed her fingers along his arms, telling him what he already knew.

“Does it matter. If I tell him, it’s rejection and death. If I don’t it’s death and he find out. If I get the surgery, then he finds out. He finds out no matter what I do,” Peter spoke his words carefully.

“I won’t blame you. Whatever you choose I am with you one hundred percent, but I think you should get the surgery,” she voiced her opinion.

Peter snorted at the thought. He’s thought about the surgery multiple times in the past four years. “I can’t afford the surgery. The only way would be to tell Mister Stark, but he would demand to know who,” Peter whispered, happy that he didn’t have to admit to who it was out loud.

“I’ll pay for your surgery,” it was spoken so softly, Peter thought that he didn’t hear it.

“MJ. . .no. . .I can’t ask you to do that,” Peter shook his head, trying to push her away, but her grip was strong in his weak state.

“No! Peter listen to me. This will kill you. I am going to set up a date. I’ll let you know when it is. If you want to get it done let me know and I’ll make sure you get to it. I don’t care if you’re at school, the tower, or your apartment, but if you don’t show up, I won’t be disappointed,” she got out her phone and started texting rapidly, Peter didn’t question her. MJ always had a bunch of connections.

I’ll think about it,” Peter promised her, grabbing a few tissues to wipe his tears away.

He got a notification from his phone saying that his surgery was exactly one week from today. One week to make a decision. Now he just had to avoid Tony.

Each day after that was a hell in his own right. Anytime he thought about Tony, texted Tony, talked about tony, talked to Tony, every single damn thing that had to do with Tony ended up with Peter coughing and puking up a mixture of flowers and blood.

Peter still hadn’t made a decision when the day had come for his surgery. He didn’t see Tony at all that day, but he knew what he wanted to do, he didn’t know if he would survive, but he texted MJ that he wanted the surgery. With luck his second time around he won’t fall for the man.

MJ didn’t even let him walk into the school. She pulled up to his apartment, unlocking her door as Peter got into her car.

“You’re sure this is what you want?” she asked as she put the car in drive and started to head towards the hospital.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Peter promised, as she drove Furter and further out of New York. Peter had researched where she made the appointment. In New Jersey, bout an hours drive from his apartment, school would have started by then. Soon he would be getting calls from Ned, Happy, May, and of course Tony.

They had almost arrived when his phone started to vibrate violently. His gut sunked as he saw Ned call. Ned, his friend who has been trying to get information out of him all week since that day in the nurses office. Instead of letting it ring Peter denied the call, he could see his friend frustration and confusion in his mind. Ten minutes later, pulling up to the building May started calling him. Peter couldn’t face her, not right now. He knows MJ will take care of everything for him while he’s under.

Happy kept calling as they walked inside, MJ making him sit down in a chair as she checked him in. The three kept calling over and over, until finally they all stopped and only one name appeared on his phone Tony.

Peter could feel the petals in his throat trying to be free. He should still feel ashamed about them, ashamed about wanting to get rid of them, but sitting in this office, seeing three others like him, at least, brought some comfort. All of these people have fallen in love with someone they know is never going to love them back.

“Parker?” a nurse called five minutes later after Peter had signed what MJ told him to. Sighing Peter stood up and as he walked through the dreaded double doors he turned towards the nurse and apologized as he answered his phone.

“Hi Tony,” a small smile formed on Peter’s face, the nurse had an understanding look on his face, Peter wasn’t the first one to do this.

“Hey kid. Everyone says you didn’t show up to school. What’s up with that?” Tony asked, trying to ease Peter into the conversation, but Peter didn’t have time.

“Tony, I love you,” Peter spoke quietly and rushed. He could see the older man’s wide eyes at the statement.

“I love you to kid. Thought that was obvious. You’re like my son. Listen whatever you’re going through talk to me. Tell me where you are. I’ll come get you and we can talk about this?” Tony tried to goad him, but Peter didn’t hesitate in hanging up the phone, the nurse by now had left him in the patient room, a bucket handed to him.

Peter expected what came next. The new flowers that had formed in the past two minutes. The ones that had hurt the most as like magic a brand-new plant had formed in his lungs with the other two, but this one was trying to fully escape as well.

Peter didn’t need to look up what the flowers are or what their meaning was, he already knew. Yellow carnations, stand for rejection or disappointment.

Once the doctor came in Peter’s memory was a blur. He didn’t remember anything. He didn’t remember the surgery, the struggle to save him as he was rejected, the drive back to his apartment, MJ and May carrying him up to his bed, or May leaning over his bed crying.

Peter woke up like normal a week later, nothing wrong or off about him. He didn’t know why May looked at him so sad, or why she hugged him extra hard that day as he went to school. He didn’t know who this Tony person was that was calling him.

He didn’t know the strange man that was outside his apartment that day being creepy and following him up. He didn’t know why Aunt May let this stranger into their house.

“Kid what’s wrong with you?” the guy asked.

“Who are you?” Peter finally asked harshly.

“This is a joke, right?” the guy asked, looking between Peter and May. Peter who glared at him and May who only shook her head sadly.

“It’s me kid? Tony? Lab time? Avengers? Karen?” the guy seemed to be in a panic.

“How do you know about Karen?” Peter glared at him.

“May what is going on?” Tony asked, finally turning towards his aunt, and Peter didn’t like that.

“Tony, he got the surgery,” May whispered, voice wavering. “He loved you but didn’t tell anyone.”

Peter didn’t know why Tony’s eyes widened or why he suddenly gripped Peter hard, sobs shaking throughout the man, but clearly something happened that Peter was not aware of.

“Kid. I am so sorry. Let’s- Let’s start over,” Peter doesn’t know why, but he knew that it was hard for the man to get those words out, but he stopped hugging Peter and held out his hand instead.

“My name’s Tony, Tony Stark.”

“Peter, Peter Parker,” Peter shook his hand.

@starkerfestivals

#starker #peter parker x tony stark #starker prompt #iron man x spiderman #peter parker #spiderman #tony stark #iron man

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dweetwise · 6 months

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[Riconti] The Long Con (part 6/6)

A fluffy little epilogue to wrap things up 🧡 Rated G | 1.5k words | ao3 link [previous]

Two years later…

“Where is it!?” Meg’s voice echoed from upstairs.

“Weiß ich nicht!” Klara’s higher pitch answered.

“Weißt es! You always borrow it for the tablet!”

“The tablet broke two weeks ago!"

“Ugh, fine. C’mon,” Meg said, and the sound of two pairs of footsteps running down the stairs followed. “Dad!” Meg called.

Ace hid a smile behind the newspaper he was reading in the kitchen. What had started as a sarcastic nickname from Meg’s side seemed to become less of a joke with each day that passed.

"What is it?" he called back.

“I can't find my Scheiß-charger!” Meg complained.

Ace glanced at Felix sipping his (gross, black) coffee across the breakfast table. But Felix's lips merely twitched up in amusement, once again making Ace grateful that he wasn't too strict when it came to the language used around his kid.

“Have you been teaching my innocent daughter naughty words?” Ace asked.

“No,” Felix said, then smirked. “If I did, I promise she'd swear much more creatively.”

“Dad!” Meg said as she stormed into the kitchen, a backpack slung over her shoulder.

“Take my power bank,” Ace said. “It's by the coffee machine.”

“Thanks,” Meg said. She also yoinked an apple from the fruit bowl.

“No breakfast?” Felix asked.

“I'll grab something from the cafeteria before class,” Meg said. “It's better than this old coot's cooking.”

“Hey!” Ace protested. Sure, making food from scratch in an actual kitchen was still new for him, but he'd only burned that last omelet a little—

“Fair enough,” Felix instantly agreed with Meg.

Ace gasped. “Et tu, brute?”

“Meg!” Klara ran into the kitchen. “You forgot your keys!” she said, holding up the item.

Meg grinned. “Thanks. Walk me out?”

“Mm-hm!” Klara nodded and the duo headed outside.

“We should see her off too,” Felix said, standing up from the table. “It's her first exam.”

Ace chuckled to himself before following. Felix was very into all the firsts of their kids: Meg's first driving lesson, Klara's first soccer practice, their first time visiting the science museum together…

And now Meg's very first exam at her new university.

Ace tightened his morning robe before stepping out onto their front yard. Meg and Klara were talking in the driveway and Felix already had his phone pulled out for a photo.

"Even if you don't know the answer, try to guess!” Klara said, apparently having taken it upon herself to tutor Meg.

“Yeah, I hope my teacher gives me a gold star on my first test too,” Meg said, then smirked. “But I still think you cheated!”

She poked Klara in the ribs and the girl laughed, protesting, “Hab ich nicht!”

Click.

“Oh, for the love of…” Meg glared up at Felix, who stood proudly with his phone pointed at them. “This better not be going in the photo album.”

“But you're so cuuute with your little backpack!” Ace cooed obnoxiously.

Meg's hand twitched before she grit her teeth and clenched it into a fist, showing considerable willpower in not flipping Ace off.

“Whatever. Bye, losers,” Meg said, walking to her car.

Klara waved. “Bye, Meg!”

“Drive safely,” Felix added.

“Good luck, Firecracker,” Ace said.

“Like I need the luck,” Meg scoffed and shut the door.

She sped out of the driveway in the car that Felix and Ace had bought for her together. Five cars might be a little overkill for a household of four, but Meg deserved her independence, and Felix's ridiculous sports cars weren't exactly the most suitable for a new driver.

Ace was just glad that Meg was still sticking around. Rather than relocate closer to her campus, Meg had claimed she liked the luxury of the Richter manor too much to move out. And she wasn't wrong: their new home was definitely an improvement over the ratty apartment her and Ace had shared for their first year and a half in Germany.

Feeling a little sentimental, Ace sighed and leaned his head on Felix's shoulder. "Ah, they grow up so fast," he said, only half joking.

"At least you didn't cry this time," Felix said.

"Oh, bite me," Ace shot back.

Felix smirked. "Maybe later."

“Papa!” Klara came up and tugged on Felix's sleeve. “Can we feed the fish?” she asked in German.

Felix glanced at his watch and frowned. “Papa has to go to work. Unless Ace wants to feed the fish before taking you to school?”

Two identical pairs of blue puppy eyes looked at Ace and, really, how was he supposed to say no?

Ace grinned. “Tell you what, princess, why don't you go get the fish food and I'll meet you by the pond? But don't take too much, Leonardo is getting fat!”

Klara nodded and smiled bright before scurrying back inside.

“So, alone at last, huh?” Ace joked, turning to face Felix. “How about a—”

Felix was apparently way ahead of him, immediately stepping right into Ace’s personal space and leaning in for a smooch before Ace even said the words ‘goodbye kiss.’

Ace hummed in surprise but quickly melted into the kiss, relishing in familiar feeling of Felix’s soft lips against his.

“Well, I certainly hope you have a good day, too,” Ace purred when they pulled apart.

Surprisingly, Felix didn't snark back like usual. He simply rested his chin on top of Ace's head and breathed a deep and happy sigh.

“Thank you,” Felix murmured. “Thank you for being here. For being you.”

“Hey hey hey, no sappiness allowed this early in the morning,” Ace teased even as he eagerly leaned into the embrace. “Besides, I'm the one who should be thanking you for taking in two strays.”

"One of the best decisions I have ever made."

"Really?" Ace prodded. "Even after I stole that stupid gold egg from the mayor's party and you had to awkwardly return it?"

"Yes. And especially after an unknown red-haired vandal keyed my idiot aunt's car after she claimed you'd be a lousy stepfather for Klara." Felix chuckled and Ace smiled too.

But even while they could joke about it now, it hadn't been an easy two years for any of them. Half of Felix's relatives had cut contact as soon as they found out he was dating a man, and he'd also had to drastically adjust his work-life balance before his ex even considered letting him have Klara every other week.

Meanwhile, Meg kept getting in trouble for the shoplifting habit she couldn't quite seem to shake and Ace had almost gotten them evicted by repeatedly gambling away rent money. And even after Felix invited them to move in, both Ace and Meg kept waiting for the other shoe to drop: courtesy of half a decade of being on the run.

To this day, Ace still kept a panic bag in his closet with his and Meg's essentials ready to go. But he was trying; they all were, and that was what mattered.

Hit with a sudden burst of affection, Ace hugged Felix tighter. "Love you," he croaked out.

It was ridiculous how nervous he still felt saying those words and actually meaning them. But every time, it got a little easier.

“And I love you,” Felix said earnestly. He kissed Ace's temple that had even more gray now than two years ago. “And I love our family. Flaws and all.”

“Yeah,” Ace said thickly, his heart stuttering over the word family. “Me too.”

Fortunately—before Ace had the chance to embarrass himself further by actually tearing up like Felix joked—he heard the side door of the manor open and close.

"Speaking of family…” Ace said, reluctantly pulling away. “It sounds like I've got some fish to feed."

Felix sighed. "And I should go before I'm late to work.”

"Eh, you can always blame the terrible traffic on your private road,” Ace joked. “But say hi to Lauren for me, would you? Oh, and are you picking up Klara today?”

“Yes, I'll try to,'' Felix said, grabbing his briefcase from just inside the front door. “I have a meeting in the afternoon, but I'll call you if it looks like it'll run late.”

“Gotcha. Have a good day.”

“You too.” Felix walked towards his car, then stopped and turned around with a knowing stare. “And do not let Klara overfeed Leonardo again.”

Ace laughed. “I’ll do my best.”

Felix drove off, and just a few seconds later, Klara’s head popped around the corner of the house.

“Ace?” she said, a sheepish smile on her face. “I dropped the whole food bucket in the water…”

Instantly, Ace was sprinting to the garden.

“Goddamnit, if that fat fuck of a carp eats it all again…!”

The morning ended with Ace diving into the koi pond in his pajamas and resulted in a giggling Klara being late for school.

But in the evening, Klara was showing off a drawing she’d made in class of Ace wrestling a gigantic carp—making Meg howl laugh and even Felix snicker in between trying to nag about the pond’s delicate pH balance—so Ace would count it as a success.

Their strange little mismatched family might not be perfect, but Ace wouldn't trade it for the world.

#riconti #ace visconti #felix richter #dbd fanfic #dweetwrites #meg thomas #dbd #dead by daylight

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umichenginabroad · 11 days

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Madrid Week 11: Basque-ing in Nature

Hola a todxs! Niko here, back again with week 11 (writing this during week 12 oops [I had a huge databases project that I grinded on all of last week, expect a double blog week soon]) of studying abroad in Madrid!! I’ve got a little over a month and a half left in Madrid. Near the beginning of the semester, I mentioned a VSauce video about time that I enjoyed a lot. Recently in my culture class, we discussed the same concepts. Upon reflection, I think that I’m experiencing time in an incredibly ideal way.

What do I mean? Time flies by fast. It feels like weeks go by in the blink of an eye. Last week, what seems like yesterday, it was March, and now we’re already halfway through April. Time flies when you’re having fun, and I think that much is true. I’m having a blast, experiencing a new world every week, and as a consequence, I’m not thinking about time as it passes. It doesn’t drag; It goes by quickly.

But I’m still in lecture every week. And two of my classes (the engineering ones) are oftentimes unbearably boring. I feel time pass when I’m sitting in those chairs waiting for the time to go home. My life during the week is simple: go to class, cook meals, go to cafes to study. But on the weekends, I’m traveling across Spain and Europe, meeting new people, partying, the list goes on. So it’s kind of like a long-short time sandwich. I get to experience time dragging on in the moment, and I also get to experience it flying by. And, because the exciting experiences happen regularly and frequently, weekends fill up huge blocks in my memories that make it feel like I’ve been here for years. I would say that “it feels like just yesterday that I stepped foot off the plane” but no, it really doesn’t. It feels like an eternity ago, truly.

So, I’m kind of milking time for nearly all that it’s worth, which I think is a W. We’ve only got so much of it in this life. Anyways, there goes my bi-monthly rant on time. Hopefully it didn’t drag on too much. Or hopefully it did. Or both. 🙂

Anyways, last weekend, I learned a very important lesson. Two of my roommates (Eli, Max) and a close friend (Jack) rented a car (#JeepTrailhawk) and took a trip up to Northern Spain (Please don't mind the terribly cheesy title), splitting our time between Basque cities and Spain’s best national park. The lesson? As much as I love cities — incredible amalgamations of culture, humanity and energy — I’ll never experience the same type of awe and amazement looking out over a skyline as I do gazing upon a range of staggeringly huge snow capped mountains. Let’s talk about the trip:

Gatzetelugatxwho?

We set out from Madrid late Thursday evening. After a short-lived yet intense fiasco with google maps sending us in a couple of loops around Madrid after someone (the driver) (Max) missed a couple of turns, we were on the highway headed North. We had about 4 hours of driving until we reached Bilbao, where we had rented an Airbnb for the night. It was a pretty drive — Madrid is surrounded by a beautiful Sierra not even 30 minutes outside of the center. We arrived at our Airbnb (which was situated in a weird liminal space-ish neighborhood) and crashed, ready to tackle the morning task: Gatztelugatxe.

Huh? Yes, I was as confused as you probably are the first time I read that word. Especially the tx, which is pronounced as ch in Euskera, the mysterious language of the Basque people that has no known origin or connection to any modern tongue. It looks and sounds weird, and in the Basque country you’ll see it everywhere. It almost feels like it could have been spoken in some far off kingdom in Game of Thrones.

Speaking of, we went to Dragonstone, AKA Gatztelugatxe. Shout out whoever the location scout was for those scenes, because they absolutely killed it. The site was beautiful, and I think the pictures will speak for themselves.

After that, we drove a few more hours to San Sebastian and explored. The energy was incredible. Sunny weather, beautiful city side beach, Burnt Basque cheesecake, calming sunset and delicious food (pintxos = tapas in Euskera!). There’s not much more that I can say other than the fact that simply walking around and taking it all in was an absolute joy.

We proceeded to drive 4 hours west that evening to our second stop of the weekend: Picos de Europa national park (driving quickly through Bilbao, which has a really cool modern architectural style). We arrived at our Airbnb in the pitch black around 12 am, stumbled our way inside, cooked a comically oversized dinner (1.5 kg of pasta is too much for 4 people btw) and prepared for our big hike the next day.

The Hike

We woke up bright and early (it was like 10am) Saturday morning, ready for the 7.5 mile, 3000 foot climb ahead of us. I’d done a 13 miler with a similar increase in elevation once before in the Texan desert (Marufo Vega trail in Big Bend, highly recommend), so I wasn’t too concerned with the difficulty — only with whether we picked a worthwhile trail. I was silly for underestimating “Lon - Río Burón - Peña de Mañimoco”.

We started by driving into a tiny town in the national park, parking on the side of the road and setting off into a dirt trail that winded shallowly up the mountain. At this point, I was unimpressed. Most of our view of the mountain ahead of us was blocked by trees, and the path felt too well kept to be the basis of the true rugged backcountry experience I desired. Jokingly, we pointed to the top of the mountain we were hiking towards when we got to a clearing, asking damn, wouldn’t it be crazy if we went up there.

Yeah, it would have been crazy, but I guess 3000 feet is not to be underestimated, especially if you start at 1000. The paved trail split off into a smaller one once we broke through the treeline, which split off into a gravel shoot winding up the ridge of the mountain we had joked about a mile or two earlier. The wind started picking up, threatening to throw us off the mountain at any second as we climbed higher and higher (it was seriously intense wind. Jumping up, we actually caught a little extra airtime).

Each switchback revealed a view of the mountain and the valley below that was more stunning than the last. We passed through a huge diversity of different terrains, each so distinct they felt like Minecraft biomes stitched together. We even happened upon a herd of domesticated cows (which we were terrified of passing out of fear that they would attempt to butt us off the face of the mountain... we thought they were wild at first). At one point, we came across a meadow that looked like it came straight out of a studio Ghibli movie. We quite literally frolicked in the grass as another hiker (the only other person we saw on the trail) watched us from behind a tree, hiding from the wind. We talked to that guy later, we called him the Wind Wizard.

On this hike, I felt something reminiscent of the feeling I got as a 6 year old playing imagination games in the basement of my childhood home — unashamedly wide-eyed excitement. Looking out over the Picos de Europa (literally, the peaks of Europe) I couldn’t help but smile. This is the feeling I mentioned at the beginning of this blog that I think I can only experience whilst totally immersed in nature. At its core, it’s rooted in mindfulness and gratitude for the present moment -- something that I try to practice as much as possible in my everyday life.

However, the reason this trip ended up being one of my favorites I’ve taken so far wasn’t just for the things that I saw — it was for the people that I spent it with. As much as I enjoy the independence and exploration of solo-traveling, I think that experiencing new things with trusted friends will almost always be more enjoyable. Being rooted in that feeling of wonder with others makes it feel more exciting, more significant, more real — both while it’s happening, and in the memories that stay with us forever.

We finished the hike with a steep decline down the mountain and ended up back at the car, where we drove into the larger town and got some drinks at a local cafe (where they had original craft beers on tap, and where I tasted the best Vermouth I've ever had). We left our airbnb early the next morning, but not before buying a block of cheese from the local Queseria (which was also absolutely fire). En fin, this was one of the most beautiful and rewarding hikes I've ever done, rivaled only by the aforementioned Marufo Vega. I think we chose well!

So, my key takeaways from this trip? Nature is awesome, and so is experiencing it (and life in general) with other people. At the end of the day, we’re just really smart animals who evolved (in nature) to be biased towards social behavior, so I guess that makes sense (#evolutionarypsychology?). I’ll be in the Bay Area this summer for an internship, and I’m really excited to go backpacking over the weekends in all of the epic nature that surrounds the area, meeting new people along the way.

Here's the itinerary list for this week's trip:

Basque Country Google Maps List

That’s all for this week’s blog! As always, check out the picture descriptions for a little more info. Thank you all very much for reading, and I’ll see y’all next week 🙂

Adios,

Niko Economos

Aerospace Engineering

Universidad Carlos III de Madrid

Madrid, Spain

[email protected]

#UmichEnginAbroad #IPEUC3M #NikoEconomos #IPEWinter24 #Spain

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pbandjesse · 27 days

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I am to full again! I ate to much yesterday and I ate to much this evening. It's fine. I will survive. But I am just super tired. It was another rainy rainy day but I had to go to work. It was a fully day.

I didn't sleep amazing. It wasn't horrible but it wasn't as restful as I would hope. I woke up a little after my alarm. James had gotten up late and was stressing. They would run out to put gas in the car and I appreciated that a lot. They were back by the time I was ready to go. We had a big hug and I was sent off into the rain. And the rain was bad. It was hard to see at times. It was not a comfortable drive in. But I think people stayed off the road a little because the rain was so heavy. It was not busy.

I got to camp and it was very rainy but still really pretty. I would settle myself in and spend some time just eating my breakfast and getting my knitting caught up. I finished my march square and I'm starting to sew down the edges. Which continue to vex me because of the terrible yarn decision I made. I will never use this fluffy nonsense again. Only plush.

I would get a lot of stuff done today. I was very very focused on getting my lessons done. And I wouldn't finish them all but I got so many of them filled out and that felt great.

I tried to take breaks so I wouldn't lose it. I would have liked a walk but it was just raining to much. So I would just poke around online. And started doing some research for art projects. And emailing people about feildtrips. Who I then absolutely confused because I had two schools with the same name but are not the same group. Oops. I got it sorted out!

We had a staff meeting later in the day. Which was interesting but not pertinent to me. I did stat an extra half hour but once there wasn't anything for me to share Heather said I could head out. Excellent.

It was a nice drive home, even with the rain. I saw another single car accident. You know they were going to fast. But it looked like no one was hurt. And I got home at 515.

I was really happy to see James. And they had a little gift for me! A pin designed by someone I follow on here. It is so pretty. Greer's illustrations are just so excellent.

James has cleaned up the house and we set up the table in the studio for dinner. I set the table while James finished up some cooking. They had made bread for croutons and garlic bread. They made ravioli. They made cinnamon rolls. Everything was going to be wonderful.

The Fulwilers would arrive around 645. And I was excited to share the house and the things we've done. And they were all excited for us and that felt so good.

We would give them a tour and then to the studio for dinner. And it was so good. James did a wonderful job and the food was great. And it was nice to talk about art and museums and things we've done for the house and things were doing to get ready for Uganda. It was a really nice way to spend the evening.

Sweetp was being real cute. And Tucker complimented my fish tanks. It was nice to share my animals. I know they are not great with cats but the Fulwilers did very good being nice to my baby.

They would head out around 8. A nice dinner. Hugs all around. And me and James worked on putting everything away.

Once we were settled, I went to take a bath. The water actually warmed up a little! That was exciting. James still filled a bucket for me and that was very hot and made my muscles not feel so tense.

Now I am in bed. And really tired and still to full. So I'm going to sip water and try to fall asleep before midnight.

Tomorrow we were supposed to have a feildtrips but the weather is going to be very bad. Gross. So they rescheduled. I don't know what that means for my day. But I hope it is a good day.

Sleep good everyone. I love you all. Goodnight!!

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truthwillsetyoufree13 · 9 months

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About 25 years ago, I took my son to a Boy Scout event where my now ex-husband showed up for a few minutes and then left. One of the mothers commented to me that she didn't know I was married. I quickly responded that I was a married single mom. Just this morning I read an article which used the same term...married single mom. Talk about bringing back memories. I remember those days. Working a paying job to come home to cook and clean, oversee 3 kids and their homework complete with projects, being a scout leader for 2 of them and driving one to riding lessons, cleaning and doing laundry for 5 people, taking care of the dog while the adult male in the house cut the yard once a week for 9 months out of the year and everyday had something he did for himself. Let's see...there were 2 bowling leagues of which I had to participate in 1, disc golf, racquetball 2-3 times a week and a Saturday where he would be gone for hours for a 50 mile bike ride. Occasionally he would train for a marathon which took tons of time. My kids are now all in their 30s and to this day all they remember is that "Dad" was never there. The ex-husband was always on my case about exercising...when I pointed out that we either hire a babysitter or he stay home so I can leave to exercise, the subject was rather quickly dropped. My exercise needs were not addressed, as you can imagine. I was married to him for 20 years and when I finally divorced him, it was such a relief. I figured if I was going to be a single mom, let's do it right. I loved being unmarried. I never had to take care of an adult who should know how to behave, act and treat their partner properly or fairly. Being married to someone who isn't your partner is such a burden.

#single married mom

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sugolara · 29 days

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𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙮𝙚

ft. K.B x S.T x I.M x fem! reader

previous || series m.list || next

After another few hours, they all returned back to the bus. Some of their shoulders were beginning to get sore from the kickback of the guns. As Gunhead drove the bus back, Shota looked down to his clipboard where the names of people he had taken were written.

It was harsh to say, but most of these people don't have any strength. He can see the way they're scared and he can’t have that. So as he went down the list, he checked off those he wanted, those who were staying back to defend Sorston in case of anything and then those who weren’t having any part of it.

The drive wasn’t that long, so they easily and quickly made their way back, parking the bus by the side on a patch of grass. F/n was super bummed out when she exited the vehicle and made her way to the center of the community, she really wanted to fire a gun.

How long has it been? Weeks? Maybe a few months, right?

“Where are you going?” Shoto quickly caught up to the girl.

She looked at him and shrugged, “Home. Or the weaponry, I think they might need help placing the guns back. Why?”

He pointed behind him where his classmates were standing, all talking among each other, “They’re making a small dinner in memory for Kyoka. I guess in a way we should celebrate so that she can peacefully move on.”

“Touched.” She said, placing a hand on her heart, “But, uh, I was never part of her class, and I didn’t even know the girl.”

“You can still show up, they’re fine with it.” He really wanted her to go, “Hanta will be there.”

She thought about it, biting her lips, “I’ll think about it-”

“Please.” He grabbed her hand, “At least for me. She was my friend too.”

Ah, he pulled that card. She finally nodded, “Yeah, okay sure.”

He pulled her along to his friends, almost yanking her arm, “They want to get started right now. They also need extra hands.”

She wasn’t a great cook, so hopefully someone taught her a lesson or two, “Okay, what about the funeral?”

“That's later.” Momo said when the two reached them, “I hope you don’t mind helping us out. I know…Kyoka wasn’t your friend, so for you to help, really means a lot.”

“Yeah.” Not like she really had a choice with the male next to her, “Sorry…for your loss.”

This was awkward for her as she stood by, idling watching the class talk. Should she pretend to be upset at the funeral? She hoped she didn’t have to say anything and if she did, she should thank the dead girl for the guns.

Before the funeral, they all made their way back to Momo’s, Mina’s and Ochaco’s house. Kyoka also resided in the home, but since she was no longer here among this world, they would close her room and let it collect dust.

“So, like this?” F/n eyed Izuku's hand and how he gripped the knife, he was showing her how to cut a cucumber for the salad.

“How is it that you're good at handling knives, but not using one to cook?” His voice held a teasing tone.

“Hey, my mom did all the cooking. If she had birthed a son, then I would have been stuck in the kitchen.” She shrugged, “And I do know how to cook…a little.”

“Your shit at it.” Katsuki said as he passed by, eyeing her thick and thin cucumber slices, “What the hell am I even looking at? It looks like a damn tragedy.”

She scoffed, “We’re going to eat it eventually, so does it matter if it's pretty?”

“Well…” Izuku looked at the vegetable, “It would at least be nice if it looked pleasant. Kind of adds to the whole dish.”

The blonde shoved the girl, “Why don’t you go help Hanta at the grill. You gotta be at least good at that.”

“Well just so you know, I am.” She rolled his eyes at him and left the kitchen, heading to the front porch, unbeknownst of the freckle male feeling bitter at his childhood friend for taking her attention.

“What do you think you're doing?” Izuku asked the blonde, slightly glaring at him.

He scoffed, “What does it look like I’m doing?”

“She was doing just fine here.” He stopped his cutting movement, “You didn’t have to send her out.”

“And yet she did.” The blonde looked at him before smirking. They were rivals before, but they thought they squashed it all before the world ended, but now that they were going after the same person, that was all it took for their rivalry to begin once more.

They both looked at each other. Now that Izuku wasn’t a meek little kid who would let Katsuki control him, they wondered how this would play off. They of course had forgotten about Shoto, the said male was just outside with the girl.

Denki clapped his hands, “Hey, hey, whatever is going on with you two, blow it away. We’re not done and I want this to be perfect.”

It was Izuku who looked away first, smiling at Denki, “Sorry, I’ll get to it.”

As always, Katsuki took this as a win as he left to go help Ochaco and Eijiro with the potatoes, “My bad, Dunceface.”

The yellow-haired male shook his head before heading to the bathroom where he locked himself in. He sniffled as he washed his face with cold water. He felt so guilty for not being there with Kyoka. She was his friend and probably more than that, so for her to just die suddenly…broke his heart.

How many more people he loves needed to die?

“Y’know when my dad made steak, he used to put beer on it.” F/n said, flipping a steak, “It was pretty good.”

“That’s probably why you’re like this.” Hanta laughed, though he flinched when she punched his shoulder.

“Don’t be insulting me.” She glared at him, “I remember you stuffing your face with three.”

Shoto would have also chimed in, but he didn’t really have any fond memories of his father. His mother, yeah, but not his father. Speaking of his father, he wondered what he was doing below his feet.

Then he stared at F/n. She’d been different these days and he wasn’t sure if the girl knew. She’s less hostile, more talkative, and out of her shell. He liked that. It seemed like he and of course Katsuki and Izuku, were able to shatter her walls.

“You think we still have to be twenty to get drunk?” Hanta asked as he swung himself on the porch swing, “I saw some beers in the pantry room.”

“I don’t think Denki would appreciate us getting drunk.” F/n said, though the idea of getting shit faced sounded nice.

“Maybe another time?” Shoto asked. He’s never even tasted beer. Maybe it’s not so bad with how many alcoholics are out there, or at least were.

Hanta shook his head, “I think Aizawa and the rest of the council team will get drunk. They too are mourning for Hizashi.”

“You guys celebrate separately?” Shoto looked at the other male.

“Yeah.” He said, looking at his cup of soda, “Then we do another celebration with the whole community, but with the way things are now, I doubt it’ll happen.”

The front door opened and out came Ochaco. She looked at the three, “Suns setting down, so we’re heading out in a bit.”

They nodded and watched as the girl left. After F/n placed the last steak on a paper plate, she handed it to Shoto who took it inside while she and Hanta began to clean up. As she did so, she would eye her cousin, “Sorry for your friend. I didn’t know her, but she seemed cool.”

The male sadly smiled at her, “Thank you.”

It seemed like almost half of the community was here at the burial site. Despite the dirt being damped, the graves looked beautiful. Bundles of different flowers were placed on top of the graves, some being in vases.

F/n hung in the back, letting her friends and their friends as well as the other people take their time to say goodbyes. She watched as some placed small trinkets, possibly something that reminded them of their fallen friends.

Even if she was coldhearted, she couldn’t help but feel sad for them as she looked down at the graves. The moody weather didn’t help much as she could feel the rain coming. Maybe this was Kyoka and Hizashi giving in their last cries before they truly disappear.

About another forty minutes, the crowd began to disappear and head into their homes. While Shota, Toshinori, Nezu and the rest of Hizashi’s friends headed to their own small gathering, class 1-A headed to Momo’s home.

The feast began as the friends tried their best to cheer each other up while music played in the background. F/n could hear them laugh and some dancing. She had a feeling that someone snuck in beer as she could see Mina and Fumikage a bit tipsy.

She hadn’t bothered to join in and instead sat in the living room after she finished eating. She sat next to the armrest, her right arm leaned on it as she stared aimlessly at the black TV. Her other hand held a cup of soda, almost empty.

Hanta had stumbled across her, landing on her as she groaned and quickly lifted the cup so it wouldn’t spill. She glared at her laughing cousin, “What the hell is so funny? It's a funeral, behave yourself.”

He made no effort in moving as his legs were on top of her, his feet hanging from the armrest, “I don't know if I’m happy or sad. I feel like crying, but I want to be happy at the same time.”

She watched as he wiped his eyes, “Are you drunk?”

He let out a choked laugh, “No. Don’t be silly.”

Her glare had softened as she let her hands rest on top of his legs. She patted his legs in a comforting way, “It’s going to be okay, Hanta. I’m sure, wherever Kyoka is, she’s happy and free. She’s probably looking down on us and laughing at her friends behavior and maybe she's glad to see that her friends are doing fine without her.”

He stared at the ceiling light before letting out a warm smile, “I think I’m just tired. Today was pretty eventful and with what we're facing next, it's making me stressed.”

A tiny smile displayed on her lips as she watched him get up, “You going to bed?”

He nodded and ruffled her, which she usually never liked but allowed it to happen if it meant he’d feel better, “Goodnight, F/n. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Hanta.” Once his figure exited the door, she stared at the blank TV. The soda cup in hand as she listened to the rowdy commotion. She could faintly hear Izuku laughing and Katsuki yelling.

The spot next to her dipped, “You’re not enjoying yourself?”

She gave a brief glance at Shoto before looking back at the TV, “No, I am. I’m just…pretending to watch my favorite show.”

“Funny.” He said while looking at the TV. He pursed his lips as he needed to tell her something. Something about that day when Tomura came, when he came in contact with his brother. It was now or never, right?

F/n seemed to sense that he wanted to say something as she sat up, looking at him “What is it?”

He hesitantly looked at her, “...Do you remember when I told you about a brother of mine?”

When she nodded, he continued, “The day when…they died, he was there.”

She was confused as her brows shifted.

He then looked at her, a very depressing smile played on his lips as he softly held her hand, “...If anything happens to me…I want you to know…that I love you.”

Her eyes widened and her pupils dilated as she watched him stand up, give her a short kiss on the forehead before leaving the home. Her heart was racing at a pace that she didn't know it could go at and she had to blink several times as her eyes began to water from how widened they were.

She was…appalled. Shocked. How could she have been oblivious to the signs? Considering it was right in front of her. She’s spent countless nights with him, so how had she not noticed?

She had to take a deep breath and remember where she was. She couldn’t let anyone look at her like this so she stared at the cup in her hands. Being caught off guard was something she did not like, but…her heart couldn't help but do flips as she let her hand touch her forehead.

She could feel her form heating up as it felt like his lips were still on her. However, despite the lingering touch she couldn't shake the feeling that something felt off. Everything about his confession felt wrong. To say she was flattered was the least of her problems as she needed to know what he meant by if something were to happen to him.

Did he know something that she didn't?

She couldn't think with how loud everyone was. She needed to leave, she didn’t like what she was feeling so she left the room and went to the porch where she hoped the male would be and knock some sense into him.

Though he was nowhere in sight and she was left alone in the cold, staring at an empty street while the music and the people inside began to get louder, deafening her racing heart.

#izuku x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #midoriya x y/n #katsuki x you #shoto x y/n #shoto x you #todoroki shoto x reader #izuku midoriya x reader #hanta x reader

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house-not-home · 1 year

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Sometimes I feel like I don't have a husband anymore and it's exclusively because he refuses to make any strides towards improving his health.

A few months ago he started sleepwalking- which wasn't a big deal, except for the fact that he has chronic nightmares (ptsd probably) and kept hurting himself in his sleep or flailing around and hurting me. At the time we thought it was because there had been a lot of big changes in his life recently and it was causing a lot of extra stress. So we dealt with the things we could control and made some sacrifices for his comfort; changed the bed frame/ orientation, reassigned chores he was struggling with, etc.

It didn't really help. In fact, things only got worse. His sleepwalking progressed from stumbling around our room to nearly waltzing out the front door, or shuffling into the bathroom only to fall asleep again and nearly crack his head open in the shower. He was waking up in a panic more often, screaming, flailing hard. And keep in mind, I was waking up just as much, if not more than he was.

So next we tried efficiency, sort of hubby-proofing the room so that if he did start wandering at least he wouldn't hurt himself. Made it easier to keep things clean and tucked away.

He tried handcuffing himself to the bed, but he just took them off in his sleep (tbf, they were fluffy velcro cuffs).

His mom had an old CPAP machine lying around; we tried using that to see if it would help him sleep deeper. He would end up ripping the mask off his face at night saying he felt like he was suffocating, and we couldn't adjust the settings.

Now, months later, he's walking around less but instead falls asleep at literally any opportunity. Sitting, standing, in the middle of conversations even- he has to be actively focused on something to stay awake. It's impacting his work performance. We can't drive anywhere without him falling asleep no matter how loud the music is or how short the ride. He comes home and immediately goes to take a nap, which he won't wake up from without me forcing him to get up. If I don't wake him up when I get home, I won't get to spend any time with him.

Getting him out of bed in the morning is a lesson in futility. If he isn't up by himself, it'll take a full hour of waking him up every two minutes before he's a functioning human, and as soon as he sits down he's right back out again. When he doesn't work he sleeps the day away. I can't count on him to do literally anything around the house because of it. I've started doing all the chores; all our laundry, all the cleaning, all the shopping- while working full time, even though he's part time and stays home 3 days straight every week and gets home hours before I do.

Last week I cleaned the entire room, top to bottom, put away all his laundry he swore he would take care of yet had cycled between the clean and dirty baskets for the past 3 weeks, started packing for when we move this summer. The only thing I didn't get to was vacuuming, and it was the only thing I asked him to do while I went back to work for the rest of my week. I'd only had one day off, since I traded with a coworker. It took three days of nagging and finally saying I'd do it myself before he bothered.

I can't text him during his days off anymore. He won't answer. 99% of the time he's asleep. The one day off we have together each week? He never wants to do anything, just sleep. Dragging him anywhere is a chore, and if the drive is longer than 5 minutes he'll arrive with drool on his chest. Even if I'm directly in front of him I barely get anything, because he'll be asleep. We don't talk anymore. He doesn't cook for us anymore. We rarely have sex anymore. Hell, he hardly shares a bed with me since he always ends up thrashing around until he ends up on the floor, sitting with his back propped up against the side of the bed, snoring away.

I don't even know the last time I had a good night's sleep.

It's like he's not even there sometimes. I feel like I can't count on him for anything. I'm scared that this will end up a serious health issue and kill him because he won't do anything about it. And to make it worse, I've gotten so used to all this that I barely wake up from it anymore, and that terrifies me.

I've begged him for months to get himself on health insurance so he can see a doctor and get a sleep study done. I've done everything short of signing him up myself, hoping he'll just be an adult and drop the "idk how" excuse.

I'm starting to resent him for it, just a little bit. And I hate that. I hate that I care so much about him but he won't care for himself.

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0613magazine · 1 year

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201226 The Atlantic

The Astonishing Duality of BTS

In 2020, the world’s biggest band proved that it excels equally at massive spectacle and small-scale intimacy.

BTS has spent enough time in the pop-music stratosphere that it can be easy to forget, or surprising to learn, about the years they spent at the basement level. Back in 2014, for the first anniversary of their debut, the group’s seven members celebrated by cleaning the tiny dorm they shared and cooking a nice meal. They recorded a video of themselves for fans, soaking seaweed for a traditional Korean birthday soup, blowing up balloons, vacuuming the living room, and decorating a cake. Their then-19-year-old leader, RM, attempts to peel an onion. “Man, I wonder how my mother did this every day,” he says, sounding embarrassed. “The members always tell me not to drive or cook for the sake of world peace.”

Unbothered by the cramped quarters, they seem giddy about reaching a career milestone together. Watching this video now—six years, seven studio albums, and a mountain of broken industry records later—isn’t just an exercise in nostalgia for the early days of RM, Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and Jung Kook. It’s a reminder of how the world’s biggest band became so popular in the first place, an object lesson in making the most of what little you have.

Humility was useful in 2020, a year that brought the entertainment industry, as well as the world, to its knees. The coronavirus pandemic led to canceled tours and closed venues; when musicians performed, they did so from home or to empty seats. This new reality could’ve hurt BTS, an act known for putting on spectacular, high-energy live concerts. (Last year, they sold out a show at London’s Wembley Stadium in 90 minutes.) Used to thriving on elaborately designed stages before tens of thousands of people, they suddenly found themselves recording TV appearances from their practice space and executing grandiose comeback routines with only staffers cheering them on. But although BTS is no longer a ragtag rookie group from a tiny label, their modest beginnings prepared them to succeed during a year that would have had them shrink their ambitions.

Originally, 2020 promised a world tour for Map of the Soul: 7, the group’s most sophisticated album to date and one that fans hoped would land the pop stars their first Grammy nomination. “We’ve struggled this year,” Jin told me in a recent email interview with the group. “Most of the plans that we arranged two years ago have vanished, but in the midst of this, we worked hard and … did something meaningful.”

For BTS, something meaningful is getting nominated for a Grammy months after performing at the Grammys—and being the first Korean group to do either. They released their fifth Billboard Hot 200–topping album in a row with BE. They landed three No. 1 songs on the Hot 100, including their first English-language single, “Dynamite,” and their dark-horse hit, “Life Goes On.” Although “Dynamite” is BTS’s biggest song thus far, RM said the latter achievement made him feel “double the joy because, as you said, it was a Korean song. It’s a title given to us by our fans.” Unlike “Dynamite,” “Life Goes On” received virtually no radio play, so purchases and streams by fans pushed it to the top of the chart, making it the first Korean song to get there.

The hyperbolic language that surrounds BTS today (global phenomenon! K-pop sensation! First Korean act to …!) can obscure the fact that the group doesn’t need big stadiums or epic set lists to reach audiences. They’re comfortable talking to fans via impromptu live-streams in their PJs and posting stripped-down song covers on Twitter. And unlike many idol groups, the members of BTS have always addressed the subject of mental health in their lyrics and in their lives. That candor resonated this year in particular, as they’ve spoken about feeling angry, helpless, and depressed.

For his birthday earlier this month, Jin released a solo track called “Abyss,” along with a note explaining that he wrote it after experiencing severe burnout and seeking counseling for anxious thoughts. When I asked whether he found this honesty difficult, he demurred. “I don’t know if it was hard to share this,” Jin said. “I think music is just another form of expression. If I hadn’t written the text on the blog, I think people might have only guessed I was in such a state.” Moved by his words and the song’s delicate beauty, fans shared their own struggles on social media. “If you know how to deal with your mental health, it’s fine to keep it to yourself,” Jin said. “But if you don’t, I think it’s good you open up because you might have someone around you who knows how to handle it.”

This week brought a duo of surprise SoundCloud releases also intended to comfort: Jimin’s “Christmas Love” and V’s “Snow Flower.” Jimin, to accompany his bright, nostalgic track, wrote a message about feeling joy despite the social scripts of adulthood: “Instead of dismissing your feelings as ‘cringey’ or ‘childish,’ as we often do, I hope the day will come that we can all happily enjoy these emotions together.” In his note for the sweetly jazzy “Snow Flower,” V wrote, “This year felt like time stopped, and I think there will be many people who feel more anxiety and depression as the end of the year approaches. For at least today, I hope the white flowers come down to your hearts and you feel even just a little bit of warm comfort and happiness.”

Against this backdrop of vulnerability, BTS also offered audiences solace through eye-catching stages. With their tour postponed indefinitely, they reconfigured their songs for online consumption. A cozy summer performance, and a two-day fall concert attended by nearly 1 million, tested the boundaries of virtual live shows. “I don’t think our music or performance has been limited, but it’s just the way we deliver the best performance that has changed,” V said of the group’s pandemic-era work. In 2019, one of BTS’s best performances was a 37-minute set for South Korea’s Melon Music Awards, featuring live horses, seven solo stages, a lung-busting dance break, and a sea of extras. In 2020, many of their best performances were much smaller but no less memorable. For The Late Late Show With James Corden, they sang “Life Goes On” while walking (thanks to editing trickery) through the same room over and over again, conveying the claustrophobia of quarantine life.

When BTS returned to the Melon Music Awards this year, they wowed not with scale, but with precise choreography. Jimin and Jungkook performed an exquisite and technically difficult pas de deux during the song “Black Swan.” And the group unveiled an endlessly rewatchable Michael Jackson–esque dance break for “Dynamite.” “To be honest, I think that performance was close to perfection,” j-hope told me. That means a lot coming from the group’s famously meticulous dance leader. “It wasn’t something that could be done by myself, but everything was in sync—the costumes, lights, choreography, camerawork, and the [other] members.”

Sometimes, putting on the “best performance” meant no dancing at all. For their NPR Tiny Desk Concert in September, BTS did the whole set (mostly) sitting down. And “Life Goes On” is their first title track to not have official choreography. “We think the song’s emotion goes better without any choreo,” SUGA said of the understated single, which feels as though it was written not from idols to fans, but from one human to another. The rest of BE comes across that way too—raw and personal, like a mixtape designed for your closest friends. In his “Life Goes On” verse, SUGA references a gorgeously introspective song from his latest solo mixtape called “People,” whose lyrics are similarly about taking an optimistic view of life’s vagaries. “The message of ‘People’ was something like ‘so what, life still goes on,’ so I wanted to extend that message,” SUGA said.

At the end of 2020, as vaccine distribution begins, the notion that life goes on might sound more plausible than it once did. For BTS, as for everyone else, next year looks blurry, but it at least has a clear starting point. “2021 begins with the Grammys,” j-hope said. “They say that the first step [of the year] is important, so I hope we have good results there.” BTS is nominated for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance for “Dynamite” and are expected to perform, although many fans were disappointed that Map of the Soul: 7 wasn’t recognized. “It would be such an honor to earn a nod for our album some day,” the group said.

BTS hopes that the rest of 2021 will bring with it the possibility of live concerts. “I want to show our fans our ‘On’ performance,” Jung Kook said of their most extravagantly choreographed song. “If fans want to see ‘Louder Than Bombs,’ of course we can perform” it too, he added. The year ahead is also expected to yield more solo work, including highly anticipated projects from V and Jung Kook. “This year has been packed so I couldn’t find that much time to work on it. I will try to perfect it next year,” V said of his mixtape. “When I revisit the songs I made, I am not fully satisfied. So I honestly don’t know just yet!” Jung Kook said of his record’s release, though he has written or produced multiple songs this year, including the dreamy ballad “Still With You.”

Whatever happens at the Grammys, the nomination of “Dynamite” is a huge deal. As Jimin put it in a recent Vanity Fair interview, “Worldwide, when people look at us, they might not know what country we’re from. They might not know what little rural town us bumpkins came from. And yet, there we are on the highest stage, in the running to win an award.” That symbolism of the Grammys stage, the legitimacy it confers, is real. But BTS’s humble past is ever present. They seem, at all times, to remember where they came from, even as they seek to not be confined by the label of K-pop. “Producer Bang [Si-hyuk] once told me that I was ‘local,’ and I think that’s something that describes me accurately,” RM told me, referring to the founder of BTS’s label, Big Hit Entertainment. “I am also aware that, as millennials, limiting ourselves to a certain region is not desirable.” With BTS, the only constant is their duality—they’re “local” yet global, industry outsiders on the inside, equally skilled at intimacy and pageantry.

This year might have looked very different for BTS if their bond hadn’t been forged in the crucible of those early years. “When life gets tough or it’s hard to find motivation in life, what keeps me going are the relationships and the energy I get from them—our members, the people around me and our fans are all so valuable,” Jimin told me. His sentiment is illustrated in the BE track, “Skit,” which documents the group’s reaction to learning of their first Hot 100 No. 1. The members yell and joke about skipping dance practice to grab a drink. The track ends with RM asking j-hope, “Hope-ah, don’t you think this is what happiness is like?”

Six years ago, BTS gathered for a quieter sort of celebration. At the end of their first-anniversary video, they sit on their dorm-room floor around a table piled with delicious food, laughing. They sing “Happy Birthday” to themselves. Then, together, they begin to eat. It looks like happiness too.

Source: The Atlantic

#2020 #bts #the atlantic

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