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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

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By Your Doorstep (Part 4)

Summary: The reader and Dean celebrate Tessa’s birthday with a big surprise before making a drastic change to their relationship...

Pairing: Doctor/Neighbor!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 4,100ish

Warnings: language, angst, mentioned past sexual assault (not graphic)

A/N: Parts of this series are told from two different POV’s. Dean’s POV are written from limited third person. Reader’s POV are second person (like a typical reader insert). Enjoy!…

_________

Dean’s POV

Two Weeks Later

“Oh fuck yeah!” said Dean, jumping up and down in the driveway as he read over the letter in his hands.

“Dr. Dean that’s a bad word,” said Emily, the five year old three houses down. Dean slapped a hand over his face as she rode past on her bike, her father laughing to himself.

“Hope it’s good news, Dean,” said Chris.

“Very. Sorry about that,” said Dean, Chris waving him off as Dean jogged back inside. He read over the letter again and looked through the packet. “Alright. As long as you keep a B average or above you’re golden kiddo. You get straight A’s anyways so that shouldn’t be a problem.”

Dean smiled and gathered up all of the documents, getting them together with Tessa’s birthday present. Y/N had tried to tell him that giving away his old iPhone was too much but all it did was sit in a drawer now when it worked perfectly fine. He was pretty sure she wasn’t going to be thinking about the phone at all once she found out about the grant.

He looked back at the bag on the table and frowned. Maybe she’d take it the wrong way, like he was trying to save her sister or their family or something like that. He could have given them the application and had them fill it out. They would have probably gotten it still. Dean knew his letter he’d included didn’t hurt but he didn’t want to be that guy. He was already a doctor, already helped Y/N with a job, already paid for dates and things. It was no issue for him at all and he knew she didn’t care about the money but he didn’t want to rub it in her face that he could help more than she could.

Dean grabbed his phone and called Cas, Sam stuck in some network client thing all night he’d told him. It rang a few times before it picked up, the echo in the background telling him he was on speaker.

“Deano!” said Benny. “Gonna make it over tonight after all?”

“Hey guys,” said Dean, sitting down on his couch. “You got the crew together?”

“Nah, just us and the girls. They’re still out shopping. What’s up?” asked Cas.

“You know Y/N?” asked Dean.

“The girl you’re clearly in love with? Yes we know her,” laughed Benny. Dean was quiet and heard them shift on the other end.

“Everything okay?” asked Cas.

“I think I fucked it up. I think I’m going too far too fast.”

“What do you mean?” asked Benny.

“Tessa, her little sister, she’s in high school and I applied for a grant on her behalf for her college and she got it,” said Dean.

“That’s a problem how?” asked Cas.

“I don’t want it to come off as me trying to save them or anything. I’m nervous she’s gonna get mad at me,” said Dean. His friends were quiet and knew a teasing comment wouldn’t come. “Guys.”

“Tell her you applied on a long shot and a grant is what helped you with school. You’re not saving the day, just sharing a benefit you got,” said Benny. “Shit I wish I’d had someone do that for me.”

“What’s going on Dean? You’re normally the last person to freak over shit,” said Cas. Dean sat back and stared up at the ceiling.

“Talk to us bud,” said Benny.

“I like this girl and it’s been years and years since I had a girlfriend. You guys know I’m not good for more than a fuck,” said Dean.

“Lisa was a super bitch and you know that’s not true,” said Benny.

“I am in my thirties and I’ve never had a real relationship. I don’t even know how. I’m gonna fuck this up so bad. I know it.”

“Contrary to how often I call you a dick, you are one of the best people I’ve ever met,” said Cas.

“I agree and you know all our friends and especially Sammy would say the same thing. Brother you gotta relax. This girl from what you’ve said and everybody else says, well we ain’t never seen you so happy so stop freaking, go get ready for your date tonight and put some faith in this girl that she’s not gonna hurt you back,” said Benny.

“I didn’t say-”

“Dean, we’ve known you forever. We know when you’re scared. I know most people in your life end up hurting you but take it from us, not everyone will. I got a good vibe from her,” said Cas.

“Me too,” said Dean quietly.

“You doing okay?” asked Benny. “In general you know.”

“Yeah. Most of the time I’m great now. The past few weeks have been awesome. I think maybe that’s why I keep freaking out over this girl. It’s like, fucking finally, I understand what a good relationship can be.”

“You been to Ketch lately?” asked Cas.

“No, not as a patient. I’m okay.”

“Well still go for a tag up every once in a while for us,” said Benny.

“I know. Never would have gone without you assholes getting on my back in the first place.”

“That’s what friends are for,” said Cas, Benny chuckling. “So where you guys going tonight?”

“Monico’s.”

“Fancy,” they both said and Dean rolled his eyes, smiling to himself.

“Goodbye assholes,” said Dean, hearing them laugh before he hung up. He sat up and took a deep breath. “Alright. Shower. Shave and fingers crossed tonight goes well.”

Reader’s POV

“Okay, presents before or after dinner?” you asked as you carried in a bag to Tessa’s room.

“Before, obviously,” she said.

“Alright, well I know you wanted something really badly this year,” you said. “Why don’t you open the green one first?”

“This feels like an iPhone box…” she said with a big smile. She tore off the paper and grinned. “Awesome! What one is it?”

“It’s a ten. It’s used but in really good condition. I got you a case and extra charger too,” you said. “We can swing to the store and activate it tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Y/N, really,” she said. She grabbed the card next and her eyes went wide when she saw the cash inside. “Y/N.”

“It’s your money you gave me. It’s yours. Buy whatever you want, okay?” you said. She nodded and unwrapped a few more small things, a book she’d been talking about, some make up you knew she’d use, a new pair of her nike running shorts that’d been on sale thankfully. You smirked when she picked up the last two presents in the bag. “Alright. I hope these are...suitable for you.”

She tore off the wrapping on one and started to laugh.

“It’s hot pink,” she giggled. “Why is it hot pink?”

“Cause vibrators come in a variety of colors,” you said with a laugh. “I will let you read through the charging instructions on your own and same for the other box. There is toy cleaner because yes you need to wash these things properly and I got some water based lube. Go with water based. It dries up faster but it works better to me. Oh and wash everything like five times before it goes anywhere near anything, okay?”

“Okay,” she laughed. “I can’t believe you actually bought me this stuff.”

“Can’t get pregnant off a toy,” you said.

“Definitely can’t do that,” said Dean, Tessa wide eyed as he popped his head into the doorway. She shoved the boxes back into the bag and he laughed. “I’m a doctor. Sex doesn’t bother me and I think your sister has a point.”

“Oh my God, I forgot he was here,” she said, running her hands over her face.

“I was wondering where you two ran off to,” he said. He stepped inside and pulled out a box from behind his back. “Happy birthday, Tessa.”

“Thanks,” she blushed. She undid the bow and paper, smiling as she opened the box. There was an envelope inside but she picked up the headphones and shook her head. “Dean I can’t accept this. It’s too much. I already know the iPhone must have been yours.”

“You are smarter than you look,” he said. “But I can’t accept your refusal of my present. I have new ones and those never get used and I’m bigger than you so you’re gonna lose this argument one way or the other.”

“I’d listen to him, Tessa. He gets his way when he wants it,” you said. She rolled her eyes but smiled.

“Thank you. People haven’t been nice to us the past couple years,” she said. You glanced down to the floor, Dean leaving his arm wrapped around your waist.

“People weren’t all that nice to me either for a long time,” he said with a nod. “Someday when you’re able, you help somebody else out, understand?”

“Yeah,” she said with a nod.

“Open the envelope. This one’s a present to you both,” he said. You cocked your head as she tore it open, reading for a long time before she pulled out a paper and handed it to you.

“Dean,” you said, sitting down on her bed after you’d read it a few times. “Dean this…”

“It’s a grant. It’s very similar to a scholarship. I’m an alumni of Elmdale and the medical school there. Tessa you qualify and so I applied on your behalf a few weeks ago and you were accepted. The grant will cover half of four years of tuition,” he said.

“What does that mean?” asked Tessa.

“It means we will have to pay very little with financial aid,” you said. She was beaming and you shook your head. “You applied weeks ago?”

“After I met you two. This house seemed familiar to me for some reason until I remembered. Y/N I told you someone helped me when I was eighteen?”

“Yeah?”

“I think his picture is hanging in the hall,” he said.

“Our dad?” asked Tessa.

“He got me a job and helped me pay for part of my school. I came here once when I needed his help. Your father was a very good man and it’s clear his daughters are the same. Neither one of you deserves to go through all the pain I did. I don’t want you to. It was no trouble at all to do, I swear.”

“Tessa, I work at Dean’s office as a lab tech,” you said. She turned her head and you saw Dean nod. “I lost my job before. We were scraping by. Barely. We’re okay now but without this grant...it would have wiped out our inheritance. That was for weddings and down payments for houses. We can keep it now...we can keep the house now.”

“You hate this house though,” she said. “I hate this house.”

“Tessa-”

“We can downsize,” she said. “Y/N, every night you stare down at their bedroom door. It’s like we live with ghosts or something. It doesn’t have to be so tight. Do we really need a five bedroom house?”

“It’s not as tight anymore. We’ll talk about it. Let’s go celebrate all the good news,” you said. “I’ve been dying for a Monico’s steak.”

“She seemed pretty happy tonight,” said Dean as you sat on the front porch a few hours later. You hummed and rocked in your seat beside him, resting your head on his shoulder. “Did I overstep?”

“No. You were the boy in the mailroom, weren’t you. Dad used to talk about you sometimes. Mostly when I didn’t want to do something. He told me some people my age have it so much harder.”

“True. But you can’t compare one person’s struggles to another’s. It’s not fair to either one.”

“Would you sell this house if you were me?” you asked.

“I like that you live close by. I’d miss that. But it’s a lotta house for the two of you and it sounds like a change might be a good thing. You could downsize to somewhere else in the neighborhood and probably bank a good chunk of money for later on.”

“We could.” Dean was quiet, gears turning in his head. “What are you thinking of?”

“My house is a five bedroom too.”

“Yours is also newer,” you said. “And bigger.”

“Tell me if I’m crossing a line but...you guys...could stay there if you decided to sell this place. Temporarily. Or not temporarily,” he said. You stared up at him and he looked away. “Like I said, I’m sorry, I know it’s...I should go.”

“Hey. I’m not afraid of you.” His head turned back towards you and he swallowed thickly. “Tell me another secret and I’ll you one.”

“I think I I’m falling in love with you and I’m afraid I’m going too fast and that you think I’m creepy or weird deep down and I’m up to something when all I really see is me and my brother in you and your sisters places and I know how much it sucks and how much it hurts and I know you protect her from stuff she doesn’t even know about. I’m sorry for saying that about the house just now. I’d still like to see you though if that’s okay.”

“I think this is fast too but I also think that part of me fell for you the day you carried her home. You don’t want anything from us. Just to help and it’s not because you pity us or anything like that. If I’ve learned anything yet in life it’s that you don’t know when it’s gonna stop and there’s no use in wasting time.”

“What are you saying?”

“You willing to put up with a teenager, a service dog and someone who has not had a moment to themselves in two years?”

“As long as you don’t snore,” he smiled. You laughed and kissed his cheek. “Are you serious?”

“I don’t like this house anymore. If she doesn’t want it, I don’t want it. Maybe we can do some test runs, stay over for a weekend or two, see if we want to make it a not temporary thing.”

“That sounds great,” he smiled. “We’ll figure it out, sweetheart.”

Two Months Later

“I’m home,” you said on the way back from the store. You’d been staying at Dean’s for two weeks now after a nice couple closed on your old house. So far it’d been great and you were perfectly happy to stay there with him and Tessa for the foreseeable future. “I picked up some-”

“He is not my dad. I am eighteen,” said Tessa as she stormed over to the foyer. You glanced back to where Dean was over in the kitchen and sighed. “I want to go to Paulie’s tonight.”

“Who is Paulie?” you asked as you kicked off your boots.

“A friend,” she said.

“You’ve literally never mentioned him before,” you said, carrying some groceries through the family room and to the kitchen.

“That’s what I said,” said Dean as he peeled a potato at the island.

“I thought I said you’re not my dad so you can shut the fuck up.”

“Hey!” you shouted, Tessa freezing up. “Apologize to Dean.”

“He-”

“We are stable for the first time ever because of him. I trust Dean to make decisions for you when I’m not home. If he said no, then the answer is no. Go to your room,” you said. She grumbled and pounded her feet upstairs. You washed up and gripped the countertop. “I’m sorry. I can’t believe she said that to you.”

“It’s okay. I’ll be the bad guy,” he said as he picked up another potato. “Paulie what’s his face doesn’t sound like he wants anything other than in her pants so she can swear all she likes at me.”

“What’d she say exactly?”

“She wants to go over to Paulie’s tonight to hang out with some friends but I overheard her and Hailey talking earlier this week about a party and I don’t need a medical degree to put it together.”

“If she sneaks out I’ll kill her,” you said. You glanced down to Toast’s dog bowl and paused. “Dean what would happen if she drank on her medication.”

“She can’t drink alcohol on that stuff,” he said.

“What would happen if she did.”

“She could have a seizure,” he said.

“Tessa!” you shouted. You jogged upstairs and found her bedroom empty. “Tessa!”

The house was quiet and you put your hands on your head.

“Toast!” you shouted, the dog trotting out from Dean’s bedroom. You immediately ran inside, Dean already upstairs and you saw her sitting out on the balcony in a chair, her face in her knees.

“Can I…” said Dean and you nodded. You followed him outside, Dean walking over and squatting by her seat. “Tessa, what are you doing out here?”

“I wish I was normal, didn’t have a fucked up head.”

“I got one too,” he said.

“Do you have to take medicine for seizures? No?” she said.

“No but my dad used to beat me up,” he said. She turned and he nodded. “He would try to beat up my little brother too sometimes but I would take the hits when I could. Tessa, you can’t drink when you’re on your medicine. You just can’t.”

“I know that,” she said.

“You can’t sneak out and leave Toast behind either. It’s not safe.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

“Y/N and I get scared too is all.”

“You just pretend to like me cause you fuck my sister.”

“For the record, I don’t fuck your sister. Relationships are complicated. You might not realize this but I care about you for you. If I didn’t I would not want you in my house, in our house, and I wouldn’t get scared about you going to parties with guys that just want to use you for sex. I give a shit about you Tessa whether you believe me or not.”

“You don’t care,” she scoffed. “You feel sorry for us. Nobody on earth would ask two strangers to move in unless you-”

“Tessa you can think whatever you want about me. I’m not your father and I’ll never try to be him. But I sure as shit know how to be an older brother. So be pissed off and be rude and whatever else you want to. I’ve done this before with my own brother. You don’t scare me. The only thing that does is you getting taken advantage of or you getting hurt and Toast isn’t there to help. Someday you’ll get it through that thick skull of yours what the truth is but until then, I’ll be the asshole who doesn’t let you go to parties you’ll get hurt at.”

“You pity us.”

“I’m jealous of you.” She stared at him and you swallowed in the doorway. “Your parents loved you. Mine didn’t. You want to talk about being fucked up? I’m here anytime.”

She nodded and he sat up on the bench with her. You went inside and finished preparing the potatoes, mashing them up and saving them for later. It was nearly ten by the time you heard the stairs creak and Dean walked down them.

“Y/N,” said Tessa. You got up from the couch and walked to the bottom of the stairs, Tessa glancing down. “I’m sorry for how I’ve acted today and treated Dean lately. I was…”

“It’s okay,” he said quietly as he rubbed her back.

“I was scared when we moved in here a few weeks ago. I don’t want to lose you too and Dean takes up time that it used to be just us and I know the accident wasn’t my fault but I feel guilty still sometimes and I know your life is different because of it too and I want you guys to be happy, I do. I just get scared you’ll forget about me. I don’t wanna be alone. I’m not ready.”

“You don’t ever have to be alone, Tessa,” you said. She nodded and looked up at Dean.

“I know. I was silly. But I’m better now,” she said.

“It wasn’t your fault,” you said.

“I know,” she said.

“Why don’t you head to bed, Tess. Tomorrow I can come to your session with you like we talked about,” said Dean. She nodded and walked upstairs, Toast trotting into her room. You walked upstairs and into your bedroom with Dean, shutting the door after yourselves. “I should have...change is difficult on kids with PTSD. I should have realized that’s why she’s been so snippy. I thought it was just hormones.”

“Probably both,” you said, climbing onto the bed. He lay down next to you, staring up at the ceiling. “You care for her.”

“You two are a package deal, sweetheart,” he said with a light chuckle. “Can’t love one without loving the other.”

“Like you and Sam,” you smiled. “I can’t wait to meet him in person.”

“Me too.”

“Is Tessa okay? You guys talked a really long time.”

“She was afraid I would replace her, push her out. Granted I do like spending alone time with you and everything but she needs you and I’m not here to take you away from her. I think she understands that now.”

“Dean why haven’t we had sex?” you asked. He sat up and you shrugged. “We’ve dated nearly three months and you don’t even try to cop a feel. For how fast certain things are between us, that one feels a little slow. I just want to understand. I don’t...I’m not saying it’s a problem I just want to know.”

“You asked me on our first date, or you made a comment, that I don’t seem like the shy around women type.”

“Yeah?”

“I didn’t use to be. A smidge, especially if they were the one that seemed to be controlling the situation but it was always good. I had some girlfriends, had some hookups. More than my fair share of hookups. The girlfriends…”

“The bitch one?” you said, getting a chuckle out of him.

“I stopped thinking I was relationship material for a while. So I did hookups for a long time and that was good. Until about two years ago. I haven’t had sex since.”

“Did someone hurt you?”

“No. I just...I asked her to stop and she didn’t.”

“Dean she hurt you.”

“It’s not that big a deal.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Well I don’t want to talk about it anymore, okay?” he said. He put his back to you and you took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I know we sleep in the same bed and…”

“And I don’t need to have sex with you. Would I like it? Sure. But my sister and I aren’t the only ones in this house that need to be taken care of. You’ve done a really good job of that lately and I’d like to start pulling my weight in that department. When you’re ready for sex, you tell me, otherwise, I will just cuddle you real hard until then, okay?”

“Alright,” he said quietly. He reached behind himself and wrapped your arms around him. You kissed the back of his neck, Dean taking slow breaths. “I don’t really know how to let someone take care of me though.”

“We’ll take it slow,” you said. “Like maybe with you being little spoon tonight.”

“Alright. I can try, sweetheart.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 5 here!

#supernatural #spn #dean x reader #doctor!dean #au!dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #dean #winchester #dean spn

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lisaleigh713 · 2 years

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Alan and his plane

I met a guy the other week, who, for one reason or another thought I was absolutely dumb. When we met, he went on and on about his plane. He talked a good game but I could tell he only had his private pilot license. I let him talk and talk about force and drag, lift and fuel consumption.

“Oh my goodness, what type of plane do you have” I asked. He said, “I have a Cessna 172” and then he went into the horsepower, the color and how high he’s been. I thought to myself, “this poor man.” Nothing wrong with having a private pilot license and flying a 172 but until you know more about the person you are trying to impress, best shut up.

He said his name was Alan. I continued to play real dumb. “Oh my, it must be something flying that big ole plane in the air. You must be real smart to learn all how to do all that flying stuff.” He now has a big grin on his face. I’m still going to fuck him but after will be time to demonstrate to him who I am.

“I’ve never been with a real pilot before.” “Well Lisa, would you like to go back to my place and have a drink?” “Yes Alan, I would love to go back to your place for a drink.” And away we went! He had a nice apartment but nothing to brag about. He poured us both a glass of wine and we drank it. He stood up, unzipped his pants and pulled out his dick.

I was shocked to say the least but he had a nice cock of about 8 inches and average girth. I slipped off the couch onto my knees and began sucking his cock like a good little dumb slut. He tried to throat fuck me and make me gag but with no gag reflex and just fucked my mouth.

After a few minutes he lifted me up into his arms and carried me into his bedroom. I quickly removed my short skirt and top. No panties to remove so he crawled in between my legs and slammed his cock into my pussy. He grunted and moaned. “Oh my goodness, you have such a huge cock. Ugh, ugh, yes fuck me you big stud. Oh yes, fuck me daddy.” The whole time I am thinking, “should I change the color of my walls in the master bedroom, or maybe I should repaint the sheetrock in my garage.”

Well back to, “your so big daddy, you’re going to split me in two. Oh your cock feels so wonderful.” He fucked me for a few minutes more then decided he was ready to cum. He came in my pussy, and he did cum more than average but for someone who was a braggart he really had nothing to brag about.

“I would love to see your plane Alan. Maybe you could fuck me in your plane too.” He was ready to go to the airport. “I love looking at planes. They are so fascinating.” He decided we should go to the business airport about 30 minute drive away. Okay, that sounds wonderful. “I will follow you Alan.” I got in my car and called Ginger, “Ginger, this is Lisa, would you have someone pull my G4 out please.” I told her why and she laughed.

Ginger and I have fucked each other but we have also fucked most of the airport staff too. Alan and I got there and Ginger didn’t say anything to me. I asked Alan, which one was his plane and he said it was still in the hanger. “Oh baby, I really wanted to fly and suck your dick in your airplane”. Ginger let out and audible laugh. I pointed to my plane and asked him it that was his and he said “no, I told you it is still in the hanger, you really are dumb.” “Do you think we could go out and look at that plane please daddy?” Ginger let out a laugh and then said, “I know the owner and they wouldn’t mind.”

I giggled a bit and said, “thank you so much.” We went out and walked around the plane with him telling me all about my plane. “I wonder if we could get inside to look around,” Before he could say anything, I grabbed the handle and opened the door. He was very nervous, but followed me up the stairs.

I commented on how beautiful it was and how spacious it was. “You could fuck me real good here daddy. Come on, get your cock out and fuck me.” I bent over the table and raised my skirt. He kept finding an excuse not too. “Then let me suck your cock.” I got on my knees but he was having none of it. “Daddy, this is so exciting, let me show you how much I appreciate it.” Then he saw my picture in the plane.

“What the fuck is this?” “Well shit” I said. “Okay, this is my plane, I am currently in the last stages of my Ph.D and you really are an idiot with an average size cock. Get the fuck off my plane.” He stuttered and stammered but he got off my plane. Ginger was outside listening to the whole thing and when Alan left, she got on.

“Damn girl, who was that?” “Some idiot I fucked a little bit ago.” “Did he cum inside you?” “Yes, yes he did.” Ginger, closed the door and I removed my skirt. Ginger and I spent the next hour making love to one another, making each other cum numerous times. I will tell the story of Ginger another time in more detail. We finished and dressed then exited my plane.

All the men standing around knew what we had been doing and just applauded to which we took a bow and then Ginger and I kissed once more for the men. I like confident men, and I will even let you lie to me. I will play dumb or however you desire but if you are going to lie and brag you should be able to back it up somewhat.

When I talked back to him, if he had slapped me, I would have giving him the fuck of his life but he just slinked away instead.

Well, until another adventure,

Love and Kisses,

Lisa

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slytherindisaster · 3 years

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Lizzie Parker Profile 2.0

I. IDENTITY

Name: Elisabeth Marigold Parker

Nicknames: Lizzie, Liz, Lisa (only by Jacob and she hates this one), Parker (by Merula)

Gender: Female

Age: 11 - 17 (in-game, 1984-1991); 47 (present day 2020)

Birth Date: 13 July 1973

Species: Human

Blood Status: Half-Blood

Sexuality: Bisexual

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Ethnicity: Caucasian/White

Nationality: British

Residence: London, England

Myer Briggs Personality Type: INFJ

II. THE MAGE

1st Wand: Aspen, Unicorn Hair, 12 inches, reasonably supple

Wand-quality aspen wood is white and fine-grained, and highly prized by all wand-makers for its stylish resemblance to ivory and its usually outstanding charmwork. The proper owner of the aspen wand is often an accomplished duellist, or destined to be so, for the aspen wand is one of those particularly suited to martial magic. Aspen wand owners are generally strong-minded and determined, more likely than most to be attracted by quests and new orders; this is a wand for revolutionaries.

Unicorn hair generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. Wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They are the most faithful of all wands, and usually remain strongly attached to their first owner, irrespective of whether he or she was an accomplished witch or wizard.

A wand with reasonably supple flexibility will take even more time than a supple wand before warming up to its owner, but it also will become very loyal once it does. Unlike supple wands, however, it will have difficulty performing for any new owner unless they prove their worthiness. Reasonably supple wands are usually well-rounded and perform average or well in just about every area of magic except for curses and jinxes. Owners of wands with this flexibility are patient and kind, but they have limits to this patience and kindness. They are not as likely to burn themselves out in an attempt to please everyone, but it is still possible.

2nd Wand: Red Oak, Unicorn hair, 11 inches, solid

You will often hear the ignorant say that red oak is an infallible sign of its owner’s hot temper. In fact, the true match for a red oak wand is possessed of unusually fast reactions, making it a perfect duelling wand.

A wand of solid flexibility will become extremely loyal to one owner and one owner only, usually people of great moral integrity. It is a wand that usually heavily specializes in only one area of magic of its owner’s choosing. Owners of this wand are generally known for their reliability, their friendliness, and their character. They may find it difficult to understand views that differ from their own but are usually able to politely disagree.

Animagus: European shorthair

Miscellaneous Magical Abilities:

Animagus

Lizzie became an animagus in her third year with Penny Haywood’s and Talbott Winger’s help. She registered herself with the Ministry and is able to transform into a cat.

Wandless Magic

In her fifth year she and Talbott Winger challenged eachother to learn wandless magic. In the end he was the first to learn the skill but he studied with her until she was able to perform it flawlessly by her seventh year.

Nonverbal magic

She began to learn nonverbal magic along with wandless magic. For some reason this skill was easier for her to learn and she successfully mastered it by the end of her seventh year.

Apparition

In her sixth year Lizzie signed up for Ministry of Magic Apparition lessons. Unfortunately she wasn’t old enough to take the Apparition Test on the first date with others. She took the test in the summer before her seventh year and passed it flawlessly getting her licence on first attemtpt.

Legilimen & Oclumeni

Just as her brother Jacob, Lizzie have a natural predisposition to quickly master both Legilimency and Oclumency. She discovers her abbilities sometime in her 2nd year when she starts to hear her friends talking to her even though they didn’t say anything. She then beging to train herself and by the end of her 5th year she’s skilled enough to both control it and use it to her advantage.

Boggart Form: Tall person in a Death Eater costume. They take off their mask and it turns out to be her mother, saying that she’ll be just like her.

Riddikulus Form: The Death Eater costume turns into some other ridiculous, funny costume. It’s different almost every time.

Amortentia: (What do they smell like?)

Amortentia: (What do they smell?)

hay, campfire smoke, apple pie, peaches

Patronus:

Kneazle

Eagle (for a short period of time, after Talbott disapparance; 1995/6)

Patronus Memory:

Sunny afternoon. She, her dad and Jacob in the backyard of their childhood home. Her dad is teaching her how to ride a broom, Jacob is goofing around. Their mother is nowhere in sight.

Later it changed to her 7th year Christmas at Hogwarts. Cosy night, she’s with all her friends, sitting by the fireplace and it’s just pure happiness.

Mirror of Erised: Lizzie’s mother telling her how proud she is of her, like nothing bad ever happened to their relationship

Specialized/Favourite Spells:

Bombarda

Colovaria

Confundus

Defensive spells (Expecto Patronum, Expelliarmus, Protego etc.)

Healing spells (Episkey, Anapneo, Ferula etc.)

Obliviate

Reducto

Silencio (she casted it a lot in school, most likely on Andre when he was starting another rant on her fashion choices)

Stupefy

III. APPEARANCE

Height: 5’6

Weight: 145 lbs.

Physique: Thin

Eye Colour: Green

Hair Colour: Red

Skin Tone: Pale

Faceclaim/Voiceclaim:

Game Appearance:

Body Modifications: She have pierced ears since she was a kid. She also pierced her nose somewhere around 1996

Scarring:

Some minor scars on her hands from duelling and spells that went wrong

She have a chipped left ear after she got attacked by dogs in her animagi form

Inventory: wand, tissues, probbably some snacks, chapstick, necklace from Talbott, some spare change, polaroid photo of her and her friends

Fashion:

Lizzie’s sense of fashion is most likely non-existent, which drives one of her closest friends, Andre Egwu, basically mad. She prefers comfort over looking good and it shows. Most of her clothes are in earthy tones. She loves flannel shirts, she owns like a hundred of them. As she grows older she really starts to hate bras, so she almost never wear one (but it’s the 90s at this point so who does?).

IV. ALLEGIANCES

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Affiliations/Organizations: The Parker Family, The Rowle Family, House of Slytherin, Circle of Khanna, British Ministry of Magic, Order of the Phoenix

Professions:

Slytherin Prefect (1988-1991)

Editor at The Daily Prophet; Spells/Sports segments (1991-1994)

Archivist at British Ministry of Magic Archives (1994-1998; 2000-2005)

Informer and Spotter for the Order of the Phoenix (1995-1998)

Head of the British Ministry of Magic Archives office (2005-2015)

Hogwarts Professor for History of Magic (2015-present)

Guardian of Hogwarts Duelling Club (2017-present)

V. HOGWARTS INFORMATION

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy: Acceptable

Charms: Outstanding

DADA: Exceeds Expectations

Flying: Outstanding

Herbology: Outstanding

History of Magic: Outstanding

Potions: Acceptable

Transfiguration: Exceeds Expectations

Electives:

Care of Magical Creatures: Outstanding

Divination: Acceptable

Muggle Studies: Exceeds Expectations

Quidditch:

Keeper on Slytherin Team

Keeper/Beater at friendly matches

Extra Curricular:

Duelling Club

Favourite Professors:

Pamona Sprout

Minerva McGonagall

Silwanus Kettleburn

Least Favourite Professors:

Patricia Rackepick

Sybilla Trelawney

VI. RELATIONSHIPS

Brother: Jacob Mallow Parker

Before his disappearance they had good relations. Or at least as good as siblings can have. They were both very close to their father. Lizzie looked up to Jacob and he always kept her out of trouble when it came to dealing with their mother.

After he vanished she felt betrayed and lonely. For years she was angry at him for leaving her but with time she calmed down and started her search for him because he missed him and wanted to have a family again.

[fc: Joe Mazzello]

Father: Anthony “Tony” Parker

Half-blood wizard, worked as a Magizoologist, specialised in winged horses and wrote three books on the subject (one about each: Abraxan, Aethonan and Granian). His lifetime dream was to wrote one last book - about Thestrals.

A Hufflepuff, he was a kind and thoughtful man. Loved his children and wife more than anything in the world. Known for his patience and open mind. He may or may not have adopt a wild Kneazle and keep him in his backyard when his kids were little.

Jacob’s disappearance completely broke his spirit, to the point that he became a shell of his past self. He barely spoke and almost never left his office. He died under unknown circumstances when Lizzie was in her fifth year at Hogwarts. At least that was what her mother told her.

[fc: Phillip Seymour-Hoffman]

Mother: Eileen Parker (née Rowle)

Very proud and distinguished woman raised in a pureblood family. Although she never had very good relations with her children she had high hopes for Jacob. After his disappearance she basically ignored Lizzie every time she was coming back for summer.

Even thought her family wasn’t obsessed with pureblood supermacy as much as other members of the Sacred Twent-Eight (they allowed marrying half-bloods) she still lost majority of her relatives due to first wizardimg war as they were followers of Voldemort. She truly believed his vision and wanted to join them as well but her brothers forbid it.

After Lizzie’s graduates from Hogwarts she never really contacts her mother to the point she doesn’t even know that Eileen vanishes after Voldemort’s return and joins the Death Eaters.

[fc: Marcia Cross]

Love Interests:

Talbott Winger (boyfriend)

Chaira Lobosca (one sided crush on Lizzie’s side)

Best Friends:

Barnaby Lee

Bill Weasley

Rowan Khanna

Andre Egwu

Charlie Weasley

More on Lizzie’s Relationships here.

Rival:

Merula Snyde

Charlie Weasley (friendly rivalry bc of quidditch)

Enemy:

Patricia Rakepick

“R” people

Dormmates:

Rowan Khanna

Skye Parkin

Merula Snyde

Ismelda Murk

Pets:

Niffler named Roger (after Roger Taylor)

Toad named Wesley (after she jokingly said the toad reminded her of Bill)

Closest Canon Friends:

Jae Kim

Murphy McNully

Nymphadora Tonks

Diego Caplan

Closest MC Friends:

Jules Farrier (@cursebreakerfarrier)

Cato Reese (@catohphm)

[if you want to be friends with Lizzie just hit me up! i would be honored ❤️]

VII. BACKGROUND/HISTORY

Lizzie’s history will be posted in a separate post. I’ll link it here when I make it.

VIII. PERSONALITY

Intelligent, Ambitious, Friendly (for most people), Argumentative (if necessary), Stubborn, Extremely honest, Competitive

IX. MISCELLANEUS

— She loves muggle music. After Ben introduced her to some of the bands that were popular at the time she just couldn’t escape. She quickly became obsessed with Queen and it stayed with her for the rest of her life.

— She cried for two weeks after Freddie Mercury died.

— She also had a phase for ABBA, when she was singing their songs at every possible occasion. Luckily for her friends she outgrew it quite quickly.

— For the first four years at Hogwarts she was wearing glasses even though she don’t have any defect of vision. They were just giving her more confidence.

— If you can’t find her she’s probably in the greenhouses. This doesn’t change even after she became a professor at Hogwarts.

— Even thought her favourite subject is History of Magic she loves Herbology, and she always had some dirt under her fingernails after gardening during her time at Hogwarts.

— She’s also probably the only person in her year that doesn’t sleep at Binns’ lessons and have decent notes. They came in handy every year before the exams and that’s why in this time her pockets are always full of candy - she would share her notes for free but if they want to give her candy she won’t stop them.

— While she can be serious if she have an important job to do, usually she’s a complete crackhead in her animagi form. She constantly gets stuck in wierd places and have to be rescued by her friends.

———————-

A/N: *inhales* CAN YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS? Because I barely can. Tbh this profile isn’t that much different from her first one but it was posted on my main blog and I think that bugged me the most. I made some art-updates and I totally scrapped her relationship with both Barnaby and Talbott (although I will keep the playlists bc I like them very much). I’ll probably include the Barbaby’s one in an AU or something.

Template (as always) by @hogwartsmystory <3

#lmao finally #i feel like a better mother now #now i need to get to the ot3 asks i still haven’t done #but yeah #here it is #finally on the blog it’s supposed to be #hphm #lizzie parker #character profile #hogwarts mystery #hphm mc

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acommonloon · 4 years

Text

As a wise drunken man once said: You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning. It’s 11:10 so opportunity avails us still and I was up and out this rainy morning so. It was only about nine miles to the property I had to visit funnily, it would have been the same yesterday when only sunshine poured down. <sigh> the homeowner didn’t want me coming by when he wasn’t there so.

I was nearly back to the still running car, perfectly dry beneath a large umbrella, when I heard the front door open. Really? The man came out and began walking toward me. I waited. Is he really going to want to stand under my umbrella? He stopped short but wanted me to know things were in arrears and his wife died about a year ago so. I’m home now, a bottle of Victory’s Golden Monkey is in a goblet before me.

On the last mile home I passed familiar sights and as the road was empty, except for me, I paused to take shaky cam shots. The one lane iron bridge with a wood deck we jumped off in the summer when the Blue River brimmed but wasn’t flooded. I’m always reminded of that Kenny Chesney song lyric

But the boys' hearts still skip a beat When them girls shimmy off Them ol' cutoffs

A field of that yellow stuff, rape seed(?), mustard(?), maybe deadly nightshade (Lisa knows?) I don’t know. Over the years, I’ve asked so many people and it remains one of life’s wonderful mysteries (to me.) I refuse to research it via the internet. One day I’ll encounter an old codger or gal who’ll tell me what I want to know, then I can die, finally my curiosity sated.

A pair of queen sycamore trees on a hillside where sometimes I see an eagle perched or soaring but always I see cows. “Luna” once asked me why I seemed fixated on cows. IDK really. Cows in a field grazing are oblivious to the their future, but stop and look at them and they look at you right back. All the cows not in this frame, were two hundred yards away and were looking at me by the time I took the pic. A curious mind.

The long abandoned C&S tracks I walked as a kid, the ever present danger of a train adding the very spice of excitement in a young life filled with dangers real, imagined, and mostly unperceived. Stephen King’s story, “The Body” captures the essence of youngsters living each day immortal in their mind, anxious for what’s next to come, following the train tracks into the distance,

Then I’m home. I grew up in various mobile homes and rental houses, all of which my parents moved us from because they failed to pay the rent or mortgage. Our house is nice but not ostentatious. It’s far more than my parents ever had and honestly, that’s no one’s fault. For years I felt guilty that I had more while “having more” was a driving force in my life. I don’t lie to myself that I’ve got what I have purely on merit and hard work. I have a strong work ethic and I’m “smarter than the average bear” but where I am is just as much because people helped me along the way.

D wanted a two-story house and she didn’t want brick. Many people in my family questioned our decision to build a house that needed to be painted. Lol, they were right but, it’s the house we wanted and still want for now. Two weekends ago I replaced several boards that rotted. This weekend, if the weather permits we will sand and repaint portions of the house.

We are considering installing a wind mill and or solar panels.

Cheers and happy Thursday!

#summertime #bikini bottoms underneath

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gh0stbird · 4 years

Note

Okay Now Do The Rest

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Bright but argumentative. I was never afraid of pointing out things I didn’t feel were fair hfhddh

When we were learning numbers kids would often write 91 for nineteen, just flip them, y’know, and Ms. Potter yelled at the class for it. Baby Generiq went into it about how it was an understandable mix up because you do say the number first. In twenty-three you write the two first, so in nineteen it’s easy to assume you would write the nine first.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Tired.

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows. Every book adaptation should also be a series not a movie. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Honeysuckle and sunshine

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Floor hockey! My friend and I used to be brutal and swing at each other’s shins going after the ball. Also it was reminiscent of golf, which I competed in.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I have an untitled playlist I cycle my current music in and out of, but Newton’s Third Law is my favorite named one!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

I don’t- I guess the yellow smarties. Don’t come for me they taste like lemonade.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I assume this means assigned book and not the reports we got to pick for ourselves. Ah, Night was good. Lord of the Flies was fine but way overhyped. Again, don’t come for me.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

If I can tuck my legs into the chair I am sitting in that is ideal!

18. ideal weather?

When you know it is going to rain and you get to stay home

19. sleeping position? (Skipped on accident)

I reeeally like pressure, so either against something or on my stomach.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone notes and a notebook! Sometimes a blank document but I always find it strangely intimidating

21. obsession from childhood?

Warrior Cats, Percy Jackson, and Maximum Ride were my big three!

22. role model?

Aa I try to straw from people I want to copy, but there are talents I look up to. Rachel Chavkin is a brilliant director, and there are so many artists and authors I look up to and who inspire me.

24. favorite crystal?

Obsidian because it’s black like my hea- I’m kidding, I do love obsidian, but it’s Rose Quartz because it’s a very very pretty, soft pink and makes me happy.

25. first song you remember hearing?

The mobile above my crib played Imagine by John Lennon. My childhood room was themed after it as well!

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Swim or sit in the sunshine. Ben and I usually go driving with the top down as well.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Walking through fresh snow is amazing, so are snowball fights and building snowmen.

28. five songs to describe you?

Oh fuck yes

Hurricane - Hamilton

The Reckless and the Brave - All Time Low

Almost There - The Princess and the Frog

All This and Heaven Too - Florence + the Machine

Facade - Jekyll and Hyde: A Gothic Musical Thriller

30. places that you find sacred?

I don’t typically find places sacred, but certain headspaces are very special to me, and time spent with loved ones means more than enough to be considered sacred.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

A black blazer with a white button-down and a skirt.

32. top five favorite vines?

I am in Missouri (misery)

I love you, Bitch

I want a Church girl

Obama’s “I know because I won both of them”

I won’t hesitate, Bitch!

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“No worries”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

That fucking PFI bandana boot sale I stg

35. average time you fall asleep?

Somewhere between 9:00 and three in the morning

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Some girl doing bunny ears on her friend. I don’t remember what the caption was

38. lemonade or tea?

Both. Mixed together. It’s called an Arnold Palmer and it is my favorite drink

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

We duck taped out principal to the wall once. Also some kid broke their tray over another kid’s head at lunch one time.

41. last person you texted?

The family group chat, though Beau if Discord counts

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I wear a lot of leggings so jacket pockets!

44. favorite scent for soap?

We had some Lily of the Valley hand soap that was amazing

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, I think! I’ve never done super heavy into the other two. Though I definitely don’t want to ignore sci-fi because two of my favorite stories are a little science-fiction-y

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

A t-shirt and shorts

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

A banana. Generally accepted as a fruit and kind of just rolls with it, but is actually a berry

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

I fucking hate Hamilton-ing on main, but

“And when my prayers to god were met with indifference, I picked up a pen, I wrote my own deliverance!”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

That changes every time Beau and I play HetaOni together, but I have fucking lost it for at least five minutes the last two sessions.

51. current stresses?

I dunno, man, life? My hair could use a wash

52. favorite font?

Covered by your Grace and I’m a big Spectral baby. These are both google docs! I don’t know if that makes a difference.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Patience is important when teaching material, but never be afraid to find another approach better suited to the person you’re tutoring.

55. favorite fairy tale?

Robin Hood!

56. favorite tradition?

My family does homemade Springfield cashew chicken for Christmas!

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhh lots of self-acceptance shit no one really wants to read

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I can pop the joint at the center of my foot

That’s all

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I sort of like my role as mom friend, so maybe I could keep that role in a sort of action-based anime that followed a group of friends

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“I am not the protégé to waste your time on; I'm complete!” Jekyll and Hyde: GMT

62. seven characters you relate to?

Haha

Lisa Carew - Jekyll and Hyde: GMT

Japan - Hetalia/Oni

Garnett - Steven Universe

Hfhddh that’s all I can say that aren’t my own characters

63. five songs that would play in your club?

I Don’t Like Clubs, but

Overwhelmed - Royal + The Serpent

Backseat Serenade - All Time Low

Go Big or Go Home - American Authors

The Nights - Avicii

Tempo - Lizzo

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz!

65. any permanent scars?

Yep - One from a bad bike wreck. My body rejected the dissolvable stitches so it’s a lot bigger than it was supposed to be

66. favorite flower(s)?

Lily of the Valley, daisies, Day Lilies, and Dandelions! I also love honeysuckles but I don’t know if those count.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Accidentally drank rancid milk once!

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? (Haha, nice)

The fastest, free way to fill up your potions on Wizard101 is to play Potion Motion to level three.

70. left or right handed?

Right handed

71. least favorite pattern?

On myself, animal print

72. worst subject?

I’ve never been intuitively good at History, I do think it’s interesting though.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

I don’t like to take it until I can’t move without it.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

Kindergarten? I had mono and then scarlet fever twice, so my baby teeth were pretty much ruined and they all fell out very fast.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Curly fries!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Kalanchoe’s, it literally Window’s Thrill. These babies are fairly temperamental outside and love partial sun, so the window is the perfect spot for them. And! If you keep them happy! They’ll bloom! My personal favorite is the pink bloom.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

What’s wrong with coffee from a gas station? Also I don’t like seafood.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Lightning bugs

82. pc or console?

PC!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts - talk radios actually tend to get under my skin for n o reason

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, but let it be known I was brutal with mine. We did human sacrifices and the like.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies, but I’m a slut for whipped frosting

87. your greatest fear?

Losing control!

88. your greatest wish?

A life beyond where I am now. Haha Stop chasing new down the hallway you’re so sexy haha

90. luckiest mistake?

Logged into Omegle in like 2015 and some rando asked me to join their Doctor Who roleplay. Luckiest moment of my gd life.

91. boxes or bags?

Bags! They’re easier to store

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight! But in the late afternoon when everything is bathed in orange.

93. nicknames?

Mom is the most prevalent!

94. favorite season?

Fall into winter. Peak leaf crunch!

95. favorite app on your phone?

Discord or Notes

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yozokai · 5 years

Text

Time for more Rivaere Recs.

Ink of Love - Levi has been pining after Eren ever since the boy started working at his tattoo parlour as a part-timer, but it takes a game of spin the bottle for the brunet to get his flirting.

Irresistible - Levi comes home from a yearlong trip to France with a plan to surprise Eren. What he doesn't know is that Eren will be the one who surprises him instead.

Triumph - Eren's got a job as a busboy at a local diner. Turns out the dishwasher is an ex-con and cute as hell. The man wants nothing to do with Eren, can the younger man change his mind?

Wing Mom - Levi Ackerman is an average college senior who loves his mother. He visits, he takes care of things around the house, and he enjoys his time off campus. When he isn't able to keep to his previous arrangement his mother hires someone to take care of things around the yard. Unfortunately, after a scuffle over her scalped petunias, Kuchel is left without help. When the new neighbor's strapping son offers to help out she readily agrees. Attempting to tell as much as she can about her son to this new, cute, boy, she lies in wait for her son to arrive so she can no so secretly push the two towards each other. What she didn't expect, however, was for the dinner they were having together to turn into a series of inappropriate comments and actions beneath the table.

Ink Me Up - Eren Jaeger is a doctor who just wants to get a tattoo. Yes, he wants to piss Grisha off because fuck him and his Harry Potter glasses. But no, he's not fucking drunk. Or, maybe Dr. Eren Jaeger is drunk because there's no way in hell a tattoo artist would be more beautiful than the Mona fucking Lisa.

Taking What You Want (having trouble linking it) https://archiveofourown.org/works/12974037 - Gulping heavily, Eren slowly crawled closer to his target; eyes focused on the prize that lay before him. Tuning out any doubts that his boss might not want this or that they were basically in a semi-public setting, Eren took a deep breath and placed both hands on Levi’s thighs, effectively pushing his legs apart to get better access. The raven's entire body seemed to tense in surprise underneath him. Feeling bold Eren gently traced the outline of Levi’s crotch with his fingers, ghosting over the fabric with enough pressure to feel the effects taking hold on his boss, before looking up into the piercing silver orbs that were staring at him intently. With heavily dilated pupils, flushed cheeks and a tongue peeking out to lick over his lips he stared up at the raven; eye-contact not faltering for a single second while he mouthed silently ‘Taking what I want’ before his lips ghosted over the clearly visible bulge that had formed in his superiors tight dress pants.

Charmeur - Viridian orbs widened at his unexpected use of French, hunger creeping into the turquoise irises that had retracted to a thin rim from the heavy dilation of Eren’s pupils. The low “Scheisse, seit wann ist Französisch so heiss?” that tumbled over those kissable lips, had Levi’s mouth curl into a victorious smirk. Seemed like he had just unraveled a language kink for the brat, he mused. The coffee shop was closing soon anyway, and Levi wouldn’t mind taking Eren back to his hotel room. Under normal circumstances he would be shocked by his own eagerness to lure the brunet into his bed, but there was something about Eren that was different. Something that made him want to throw all his principles overboard. The thought alone of the stunning brunet splayed out beneath him; honeyed skin on full display; his marks the only thing tarnishing the tanned glory, teal eyes blissed out in pleasure; writhing and moaning for more, desperately begging for his cock; for Levi to finally give it to him good, to fill him up nice and deep, was enough to have his dick twitch with interest.

A Special Cleaning Service - Eren is a doctor that struggles with keeping his loft clean, so he decides to contact a cleaning agency whose employees work naked.

Homo Homini Monstrum - When Levi has a bad day, he knows just who to turn to.

Plain Porn - The title says it all; just smutty smut smut with absolutely no plot. I've decided to turn this into a series of one-shots, full of fluffy and smutty stories

Eren Doesn't Like Dates - Despite Eren's previous attempts at getting Mikasa on board with the fact that he’s perfectly happy being single, she still took things into her own hands and set up a blind date for him. A modern day, blind date (gone wrong) au.

Drawing My Husband - Eren Jaeger is a very special boy! Ever since he was little he noticed that he has a special gift, whatever he draws and signs his name on, comes to life! He can draw food and have it become a 4 dimensional item in a matter of seconds! So one day when he's horny, he decides to draw the perfect man to fuck him straight into the mattress. Little does he know that the perfect man for the job ends up becoming his husband... Written for my Senpai Hidansbabe530! I hope you like it senpai!

In Need of a New Roomate - Seriously though, maybe he should talk to Jaeger about taking his new found hobby elsewhere for a bit or at least taking a short break so that Jean could breathe freely without the fear of suffocation on sweaty air. This is a matter between life and death because now his dorm room is always smelling of sex and Jean can't help but feel a bit jealous that Eren is getting some apparently almost everyday while he is suffering catching a break with Marco. Why Marco? Why did you have to decide to be a nurse of all things? Jean eternally cries.

Caraphernelia - Caraphernelia; A broken-heart disease whenever someone leaves you but leaves all their things behind. Levi's an asshole, Eren knows, in the same way he knows that he should not have let his hopes up; though he still can't help the crack he definitely feels and hears inside is chest as he leaves, and nobody follows him. He knew this would happen; he wast too much of an idiot to accept it sooner and spare himself the pain. Now he has to live with the consequences that come with dating (or attempting to date) someone like Levi.

Just a Taste of Pleasure - A little bit of the usual entertainment takes a turn they both waited for with baited breath.

Pink Grapes - Eren and Levi have a comfortable domestic setup. On most days, they wake up at five and eat breakfast together before Levi goes for a jog and Eren washes the dishes. Levi takes a shower, they both get dresses and kiss goodbye before they climb into their cars - each with a cup of coffee and ready for the day. Levi works odd hours at the hospital from time to time, but on most days, Eren comes home to a home cooked meal and a barking dog. He walks Jessie around the block before sitting down to eat with Levi and chat about their day. Then they usually do the dishes together, take turns in the shower and go to bed. Usually. But on some days, Levi would offer Eren pink grapes and he would always say yes.

Will Your Mouth Still Remember the Taste of my Love - He can’t pinpoint when it started, how it happened. When the need to strip away everything; the words, the need to push each other further and take each other in ways they’d never done before became almost necessary, essential. When all that is left is the two of them, just feeling each other, and nothing more.

The Ugly Tree Mug - The one time when Eren calls Levi 'Daddy' and they both find out he actually enjoys it. It turns into a thing.

You're the Only Thing I Want to Keep Me Hydrated - Levi couldn’t resist Eren. His eyes, his body, his smile. Everything about Eren utterly entranced him. He wanted to feel the smooth skin under his hands, wanted to hear his sinful voice moaning underneath him, wanted to taste every single inch of his body. Levi wanted Eren bad. Or, in which Eren is the new guy working at Trost’s local swimming pool and Levi desperately wants to fuck him in the staff change rooms.

Fan Service - Hello Customer Services, My Titan 845 ceiling fan crapped out on me last night resulting in sweaty ass sheets. Please help. Kind Regards, Eren Yeager. A one-shot of pure Ereri/Riren porn. Eren's fan breaks, Levi comes to... service it.

More here and here.

#fic rec #levi x eren #riren #rivaere #top levi #bottom eren #aot #snk

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thegayfromrulid · 4 years

Note

Frkm 1 allll the way to 99. Also, the next SAO game eugeo lives as a sword and not die (thank GOD)

@2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars- I will not eat lollipops.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy! I actually get super bad headaches from bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably lonely genius...

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles!! I feel so fancy!! And old-timey.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I guess tomboy even though I’m a boy??

7. earbuds or headphones?

Aren’t these the same thing? I think I prefer over-ear headphones, but I don’t really like either.

8. movies or tv shows?

Depends on the genre I guess. But as a main rule, live action- movies, animated- TV shows.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Potato salad.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Frankly, I wasn’t good, but I was really good at pissing all the jocks off-

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

I make myself these homemade egg mcmuffins. I enjoy them a lot. I am very picky about breakfast.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I only have one and it’s very generic: The Gay From Rulid’s Playlist. Yes it’s on Spotify. Yes, it’s 99% anime openings and endings and maybe Bet On It from HSM2. Be ashamed of me. Go on.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard! Mine is a BNHA one I bought from an artist at Nekocon!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Either Sweet Tarts or Nerds.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

I usually have one leg tucked up under me and the other stretched out.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black and white pair of Skechers. They look like shit. They almost never are replaced by another shoe. Not even in the gross muggy heat.

18. ideal weather?

When it’s just warm enough to wear a t-shirt and sit in the sunshine, but cool enough that I’m not hot, and a little breeze is going. I think of this weather quite often.

19. sleeping position?

On my belly kinda spread out like a shounen protagonist.

21. obsession from childhood?

J.R.R. Tolkien. Have always been obsessed with him and his works.

22. role model?

Redundant, but Tolkien again. Linguist and writer. Living my dream.

23. strange habits?

I unplug things like microwaves, lamps, and TVs when I am done using them. Very little remains plugged in at my place. The modem, the fridge, and the clock. That is it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst. It’s my sister’s middle name. And I especially like the purple ones.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Blue by Eiffel 65. I don’t know why that song sticks out so much in my memory but it’s nostalgic for me. Tiny AJ hyperfixated on this song before anything else ya’ll.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Curl up in the sun on a blanket and nap.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Hot cocoa blanket cuddles.

28. five songs to describe you?

Uhhhh...I’m not very musically literate. Let’s go with Born This Way (the first person I came out to sent me that song so it feels special!), I’m Free to Be Me by Jamie Grace, Praying by Kesha, Shake It Off by Taylor Swift ( @delicateeuphorias would you believe it xD), and right now thinking about someone dear to me who’s been gone See You Again is stuck in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Arboretums or big botanical gardens where I can get lost in the plants for a moment and take in how pretty they all are. And old monuments/big things people of the past built. A lot of things were built by people with no rights/freedom and I think about them and how despite the fact that they had nothing, they made such a lasting impact on our world.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

*slips on my Owari no Seraph cosplay* I will kick ass in this sweet ass cape-

33. most used phrase in your phone?

My phone seems to think it’s “Kirito’s ass” and I want it to not think that.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

O-O-O-O’REILLYYYYYYYYYY’S...Autooo PARTS.

35. average time you fall asleep?

I’m an insomniac it could be 10 pm it could be 3 am who knows I sleep for an hour I’m up again...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Fucking CAN I HAS CHEEZBURGR cats.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

This all boils down to how much I’m packing. Going for a sleepover? Duffel. Going to con? My giant suitcase with room for all the bells and whistles of cosplay.

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Oh cruel I looooove lemon. The pie!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

In high school here- so, aside from me being the resident weirdo (I DID come to school dressed as the TARDIS), my senior class decided to squirt hundreds of bottles of chocolate syrup on the sidewalks. We were an open campus so it’s all in front of our classroom doors- we had no hallways. And then they. They fucking EGGED ALL THE DOORS. The whole campus smelled like...ick.

41. last person you texted?

My father and mother in a group text to cry about customers treating me poorly.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I prefer the jacket pockets because I still haven’t found a way to get men’s pants under the radar of my ever-watchful parents and women’s jeans pockets are SHITTY. Women gotta boycott this shit it is UNACCEPTABLE-

44. favorite scent for soap?

Peppermint...peppermint ^-^ I like to smell like...mint.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Recently I was reminded I live alone and my new favorite sleeping outfit...is...just some boxer shorts. Suck it dysphoria. Manly nightwear.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Pepper jack, Swiss, or ricotta.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Strawberry :3

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

I’m gonna sound so gay but when @disasterbikirito started laughing about a certain GIF and his laugh was so infectious I couldn’t help but laugh too.

51. current stresses?

Are you shitting me it’s everything. Every. Single. Thing. I cannot breathe. I am having meltdowns. Someone fucking save me I cannot deal with COVID well.

52. favorite font?

Garamond for writing in my free time, Doulous SIL for all the linguistics IPA symbols my greedy heart desires.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Smooth but my fingertips have been gnawed on. I am stressed, okay?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Gosh, lots of things. But the most important takeaway is that a good boss will genuinely care about you. I miss that man. He was so wonderful and so caring and taught me so much about theater. Technical things and artistic things and historical things. Sometimes I wish I could have made a career out of working under him.

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast (AH...AH...I SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES BECAUSE I’M TRANS. I KNOW. I *KNOW*.)

56. favorite tradition?

It’s a family tradition kinda unique to my household. Each year, we draw a name from a hat, and that name comes with a lot of words that describe us and what we liked over that year. We then each take a $20 bill and we go to a little hobby shop with cheap things in it and use that $20 bill to fill a Christmas stocking. We then hang them back up and empty the stocking full of candies and random silly things and have a good laugh and guess who filled whose stocking.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The first one is coming to terms with knowing my dad has a severe illness. It really shook my family up, and it’s terrifying us right now with everything going on, but after a while, I learned that he was smiling, so I could smile, too.

The second one is my mother coming back from her tour in the Middle East on top of the murder of my godmother. Two very stressful things happened at once. My mother got very violent from her PTSD and her best friend died in a horrible way. It was an adjustment for everyone, and it kind of ripped my family to pieces. I can say, though, that my parents are still married and are getting better, and my sister and I are coming back to the family to be more open and healthy.

The third, and maybe some of my followers are aware, was getting rid of my ex-fiance. He was a man who sexually assaulted me repeatedly and I won’t go into details beyond that. It took me 5 years to get rid of him and accept what happened, but I am a much happier person now and while I work through the trauma that caused me, I have the most wonderful partner by my side and if you had told me back then I’d find someone as kind and patient and loving as him, I would have laughed and thought you were insane.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Probably what I put on all my fanfic updates: “I know. I’m an asshole.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Some kind of shoujo romance but it’s bi also I want a sword.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

There was nothing more smartass than Alice Synthesis 30 in SAO 18 asking a reporter to open up his head and prove he was human I’m sorry like OOF-

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Get in losers, we’re playing Steppin’ Out by FLOW, Elle me dit by Mika, Blue by Eiffel 65, ADAMAS by LiSA, and Touch Off by UVERworld.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I was on Webkinz more than I want to admit.

65. any permanent scars?

Yup. I have one on my toe where I split the skin in half. I tripped. I have three surgical scars from when I had my appendix removed. And...the mystery scar. I was supposedly born with a scar it’s at the part where my foot meets my leg on my left side and you can see how it’s stretched over the years if you run your finger over it. The joke is that the doctor taking out my mom’s appendix scratched me in the womb.

67. good luck charms?

Not really a charm but I do have a little Kirito keychain I carry everywhere I go that I fiddle with when I’m nervous.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Artificial bubblegum. Disgustiiiing.

70. left or right handed?

I am right-handed.

71. least favorite pattern?

Zig-zags.

72. worst subject?

History...I am ashamed. It’s interesting, I just suck at it.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Gingerbread and marshmallow. I am a bit picky about mixing foods and flavors, so this was the weirdest I could think up.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Can you hear that? It’s my hysterical laughter. 12 on a scale of 10. I get up there pretty frequently. Thank you, chronic crippling pain.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I...I don’t remember...I don’t even remember...I think I had to be like what...kindergarten?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

THIS IS CRUEL I LOVE ALL POTATOS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH-Au gratin.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Aloe!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Coffee from a gas station. Mark my words...I will never get grocery store sushi. Ever. Again. My stomach has not forgotten. What a mistake. That was.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

So, my driver’s license hasn’t had an updated photo since I was 15 and just had a learner’s so I look like I want to murder a man but my school ID I had just run about a mile in the cold because the bus wasn’t running that day and my face is red and I look like I’m crying...probably the school ID...

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones~~

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I am from the South and we call ‘em lightnin’ bugs.

82. pc or console?

Errrrr console. I’m not a gamer by any means but there’s way fewer things to press on a console controller.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Neither...what...no...neither...they will put me to sleep...I will be out in seconds...the most dangerous things...people talking...and then I’m out...

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, she’s a LOT easier to dress. Those rubber clothes. SMH.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies but they gotta be the soft ones.

87. your greatest fear?

Being swallowed in the ocean. By a fish or a whale. I don’t play. Church kid don’t play with big things in the ocean with big mouths.

88. your greatest wish?

To make enough of a difference in someone’s life that they learn to love themself.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Such a selfish thought...gosh...the mere thought of prioritizing someone troubles me.

90. luckiest mistake?

Telling a cute guy sending me dog pictures was an excellent flirting technique as he sent me pictures of his puppy. I immediately thought “oh god I’ve fucked up bad” and at present we’re kinda head over heels for one another so maybe just be stupidly blunt once and a while you might find true love.

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes. My cat didn’t force me to say that. Not at all. Sock, buddy, off the keyboard-

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight. I like the sun. The sun is my friend. It is warm and would never betray me.

93. nicknames?

Sister calls me “spoony” when she’s being ridiculous. No, I don’t know what that means. Mama calls me “cakes.” I had friends who called me “Deku” because I’m a crybaby. Had a few people DM me and straight up call me “Eugeo” or “Eug.” AJ is technically a nickname.

94. favorite season?

Springtime!!!!! It’s...HERE!

95. favorite app on your phone?

I use like three apps...so Discord.

96. desktop background?

It’s. It’s Kirito and Eugeo. What did you expect.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Mama’s, dad’s, mine, and my parents’ house number. And does the emergency 911 count (pahahaha).

(I answered the others in delicateeuphoria’s ask!)

#ask #ask me anything #weird asks that say a lot #ask game #weeaboo-god

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florenceisfalling · 5 years

Text

*kicks down door*

I ’ M B A C K

gosh dang i missed you all so freakin much!!!

camp was so much fun but i talked about y’all every single day you all mean so much to me skdfjlkdsjf

some highlights from camp:

MAKIN’ MY WAY DOWNTOWN *piano yeets against wall*

the first video i saw at camp was two skit characters making a trickshot parody just like bro average

don’t abandon my friend and i during the incredibly un-fun obstacle course or i will complete it while fueled by pure spite, emerge from the horrible-smelling mud looking like a swamp monster with many layers of dirt under my fingernails and in my hair, and proceed to shower- using up a ton of your shampoo and conditioner instead of my own as my stupid method of vengeance

A CABIN FULL OF GIRLS DRESSED AS ROSIE THE RIVETER (including me)

c l i c k c l i c k p u l l p u l l

have you ever seen a group of girls trying to wrangle a man who is wearing nothing but shorts, duct tape, and an absolutely massive amount of crisco? because i have

my friend maura is mona lisa from parks & rec in disguise

high-speed chase in which a rubber chicken was decapitated

i was threatened by a man in a kilt

giant bees and beetles flying around. they didn’t sting or anything, and their wings were powerful enough to work as fans. very cooling and efficient

zip-lining lady said that she often punches the bees and beetles when necessary. “just punch them”

“did you forget i was mean”

WE CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN AND WE COULD SEE THE PLACE WHERE THEY FILMED THE HUNGER GAMES ARENA FROM THE PEAK

this carnival thing they did was too loud and cramped so i just sat and talked to bob the spider for an hour

“natUuUuUre :(”

boy on bus uncomfortably flirts with me when the lights are out and he doesn’t know what i look like. proceeds to think my friend is me the next morning. doesn’t notice her correcting him when he calls her “brianna”

“ned is present” “i thought it’s name was sheryl”

my florescent, and i mean florescent, pink gel pen exploded in my marker bag. i looked like i murdered a danganronpa character

“ G E T O N T H E G R O U N D ”

the frogs have a conspiracy against me. when i try to catch them, they do not flee into the water- instead, they go to the other teenagers, knowing full well i’m too embarrassed to reach under another teen and snatch a bullfrog

*the final countdown plays as girl from yellow team attempts to drown a girl from my team (aka the green team) using her foot*

the girls upstairs stomp so hard that we get them in trouble. it sounds like thunder. we cannot sleep. they continue anyway. they stomp hard enough to break a light in our room.

threatening kilt man kicks us out while stranger things theme blasts through speakers for no reason

karmen laughs so hard that she reopens a wound

i hurt where i should not hurt

“tell me you’re not going to american eagle”

#istandwithtilly

i met a kid who lives close to me and watches jse, but he pronounced “anti” as “ant-eye.” i proceeded to gently place my hand on his shoulder and whisper “no”

girls from my hick town love florence + the machine, glass animals, needtobreathe, and declan mckenna and i’m so happy

if you haven’t heard approximately 500 kids all singing wannabe, dancing queen, and allstar, you have not lived

“Ḑ O̷͟҉ W͢͏ N , G̨̕͟ Ì R̸͢ Ó̸ Ć̀ K Į̕ E͏̨ S̛͢”

my mom and another leader from my town wore cowgirl outfits while dramatically dancing to wrecking ball. our town’s one (1) male leader, chris, was lip-syncing it with much emotion. the curtains drew back to reveal another leader wearing a giraffe costume and sitting on top of an exercise ball suspended from the ceiling. she flings and hits chris. my mother and the other cowgirl dragged him away. the curtains close as the giraffe waves. it looks like a looney tunes outro

“i love everyone so much! - S̢͝͏Ơ̴̧ ̸̛Ḿ͢U͞C̡͝H”

yeehaw hoedown dance. drenched in sweat

*flirts with one (1) person* *it turns out that one (1) person lives thirty (30) hours away from me*

threatening kilt man gets a redemption arc

we loved our bus driver so much that we cheered for him and made up chants. he is our god now

A BUNCH OF MY FRIENDS GOT SAVED AND I’M SO HAPPY FOR THEM

chris was possessed by “alexa the jewish ghost”

"you have to put your crocs in attack mode” “i’ve been wearing crocs the wrong way for the past fifteen years” “mhm” “i haven’t actually been alive for an exact fifteen years yet so this includes the time in the womb i spent wearing crocs” “womb crocs” “yes”

gibby can play the spongebob theme song as well as the jeopardy theme on guitar

“Í̕ ͏̴͜DǪ̵Ǹ͜'͢T̢͜͢ ̵҉̴G̶̢E͘T ҉Ņ̛͡O S͟͝L̡͘͜E͏͡E̵̷͞P͡ '͞͏C͢A̡U̡͠҉ŞE͟'͟A͏ ̴̵̢Y͏̧̢'̵A̵̢͞L͜L”

#istandwithseamus

how did i know it was gonna be bohemian rhapsody

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 5 years

Text

Psycho Analysis: Yoshikage Kira

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

“You can call me Yoshikage Kira. I'm currently 33 years old. Not that you'd care, but I reside in northeast Morioh's villa district. Also, I've yet to marry. In order to make a living, I work for Kame Yu department stores. After a long day's work, I return home no later than 8 PM. I don't like smoking, but do enjoy the occasional drink. I'm always in bed by 11 PM, and I make it a point to get no less than 8 hours of sleep each night. Before bed, I drink a warm glass of milk. It's always coupled with 20 minutes of stretching to decompress from the long workday. Sweet dreams are the usual result of this. I then awake as refreshed and recharged as a newborn child, ready to take on the day's challenges. And after my last checkup, I was given a clean bill of health. For as long as I could remember, I've done everything in my power to live a productive life that allows me to pursue a lasting inner peace. This may be a foreign concept, but I choose not to concern myself with winning or losing, life's troubles, or enemies who bring sleepless nights. That is how I cope with this backwards life we find ourselves living. It's what brings me happiness in a world fraught with hardship and misery. Of course, if I were ever to engage in combat, I would win the battle without question.”

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is an absolute wealth of fantastic villains, some of the absolute best fiction has to offer. Villains like Dio and Funny Valentine and Diavolo and Pucci have become iconic among fans for their crazy personalities, quotable lines, powerful stands, unique designs, and overall character. But one villain stands out as perhaps the greatest creation of Hirohiko Araki, the villain of what is arguably the best part of the franchise: Yoshikage Kira of Diamond is Unbreakable.

Kira is the remorseless serial Killer who has been living in plain sight in Morioh for years, killing women and taking their hands to be his “girlfriends.” He miraculously was never caught despite being active for over a decade, due to a combination of sheer luck and his incredibly dangerous Stand Killer Queen. The utterly terrifying part is that for the most part he seems like an absolutely normal, average guy who otherwise wouldn’t stand out too much in a crowd (well, by JoJo standards anyway, he does dress a bit too colorfully to fit in to a crowd in the real world). This is also what makes him so great as a JoJo villain: even among the others, he stands out. Kind of ironic, all things considered.

Actor: The dub chose to grace Kira with the voice of D.C. Douglas, who you may know as Albert Wesker or Legion. To say that his voice work is perfect would be an understatement; he truly sells Kira as a normal guy while at the same time leaving an air of uncomfortable dread around every word Kira says. And when Kira snaps… brrrrr. Douglas really outdid himself here.

Motivation/Goals: Yoshikage Kira simply wishes to live a quiet life, free from the worries that the common man has. He just wants to live and brutally obliterate women until the end of his days, never being caught or facing justice. This is the gist of his character when first introduced, but of course, things change when Josuke and the gang get on his tail; he then goes out of his way to escape them by stealing the identity and life of a man named Kosaku Kawajiri, and when even that fails due to Kawajiri’s son catching on to him he gains a new ability so he can simply obliterate them all. The long and short of it though is that Kira is very much your typical serial killer pushed too far, though with his abilities, Kira is a lot more than “typical.”

Personality: Kira’s personality when compared to other villains like DIO is actually very subdued. For the most part, he is very calm, collected, and doesn’t really ham it up to any great extent. But when he does, it’s usually extremely terrifying; just look at the scene where he invades the couple’s apartment and kills them if you need evidence of how utterly terrifying Kira can be when he raises his voice

All that being said, once Kira gets Bites the Dust all bets are off. He becomes a lot hammier, though none of it feels like a betrayal of his character; it more feels like after all his desperate attempts to escape and all the fear of being caught, he is finally winning. And then when he starts to lose… it does sort of bring back memories of DIO after drinking Joseph’s blood, with how unhinged and even maniacal he starts to become.

Final Fate: Kira has the honor of dying twice within the span of a single episode. First comes when he is pushed into the path of an oncoming ambulance, which accidentally backs up over his head, killing him. Kira’s spirit ends up on Reimi’s street, and together with Arnold she succeeds in making Kira turn around and face the hands of the wicked spirits that live there, who proceed to tear him and Killer Queen apart and drag them to oblivion.

Both deaths are fitting and have a sense of irony to them. An ambulance reverses over him and tears off his face, just as he did to Kosaku Kawajiri; there’s also the fact that his face being mangled by the wheels of the ambulance technically gives Kira the anonymity he so craved. Then of course there is the fact that Kira is dragged off by the object of his desires, torn apart and brought to a place where he will never again experience a quiet day.

Best Scene: For Kira in his original appearance, it’s almost definitely his brutal murder of Shigechi. When he’s Kosaku Kawajiri, the final activation of Bites the Dust and his final fate really take the cake.

Best Quote: You know there is only one quote that could possibly go here. The single most famous thing Kira ever said. And while the dub unfortunately had to censor the line because there are some words you just can’t say on TV, the line still managed to be as epic as promised even if it did have a bit of unintentional hilarity to it:

“When I was a young boy, I remember discovering Leonardo da Vinci's enigmatic Mona Lisa while leafing through a tome of the master's works. It was my first time laying eyes on her! The beauty before me, well, it aroused something in me... it gave me a rock hard cock!”

The “cock” was bleeped out in the broadcast. I just love how this drops all the pretense and subtlety of the manga’s translation, it’s really beautiful and really showcases just how desperate and unhinged Kira has become.

Final Thoughts & Score: As has been noted and alluded to, there is a hilarious irony to Kira. By being a JoJo villain who does his best to appear as average and mundane as possible, he stands out compared to his garish, posing, flexing, hammy peers in the series. Of course, this really does just help make him all the more intriguing and unique… which, if he were real, would just frustrate him all the more.

Frankly this is the easiest 10/10 I have ever given to a villain. I hardly even have to think about it. Kira is just my absolute favorite villain subjectively speaking, and even objectively he’s just a fantastic character who fits the story so well. The ultimate enemy of a man who can fix anything is a man who can blow up everything, it’s pure brilliance, like a shining diamond perhaps. Then there’s his design, which just oozes cool, as well as Killer Queen’s design and myriad powers, which are likewise insanely awesome. Is it any surprise that he’s my go-to inspiration for when I design serial killer OCs?

There’s also just how he contrasts with the part as a whole. Diamond is Unbreakable is very relaxed and laid-back, plot wise. Compared to the previous three stories, which were all about fabulous muscle-bound vampires trying to take over the world, this is just a simple story about a gang of teens trying to find a killer and protect their town. There’s a lot of wacky situations and side characters, and overall the tone manages to stay fun and lighthearted… until Kira steps on the scene. Kira’s every appearance brings in a lot of dark, terrifying, and truly gruesome moments, and even with some of the levity provided such as his rambling about the erection he got from the Mona Lisa he still manages to be incredibly creepy and unnerving until his dying breath.

Kira is just an utterly fantastic villain with cool powers, a great voice actor, and two really fun playable appearances in All-Star Battle (Kawajiri’s Great Heat Attack is one of my favorites, it’s so funny). And while it’s obviously sad but still expected such a fantastic villain has to die, we can all take solace in knowing that some day in the distant future we will see him again (sort of) in Part 8. Still, it’s doubtful it will fill the hole Kira has exploded in the hearts of JoJo fans everywhere.

#Psycho Analysis #Jojo's bizarre adventure #diamond is unbreakable #kira #yoshikage kira #kosaku kawajiri

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cockbiteproductions · 5 years

Note

primed to scream PRIMES! PRIMES! PRIMES!!

f i just typed the answer to most of these questions and chrome crashed so christ i have to fucking retype all these but much condensed because i am lazy.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate bars. but only milk. my mom buys exclusively Very Dark Chocolate though so i usually just stare at those and Wish.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

well bubblegum or cotton candy flavored stuff neither they both taste nauseating. if we’re talking about the actual stuff then bubblegum because i can pop it. this actually reminded me i have gum in the pantry from the beginning of the semester i havent even opened yet so now my roommates have you to thank for popping noises the next hr or so

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles because i dont like to drink soda quickly and so i want to close it and not let the carbon dioxide escape. soda cans a close second because it’s satisfying to open the tab.

7. earbuds or headphones?

wired earbuds because headphones are too big and clunky and you cant easily lay on your side with headphones on. but if my next pair of earbuds break within a month i might consider Switching because ive had 3 break on me in the past month and half and im at my wits end with earbuds.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i dont eat much for breakfast cause i want to sleep in until the last possible moment and i get stomachaches when i eat a lot in the morning but ill eat a piece of bread and yogurt maybe.

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring but that’s just because i havent used a lanyard before. i think i would like a lanyard. im constantly looking for my keys in bags.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

this pair of black sandals that i have tan lines on my feet from how much ive worn them

19. sleeping position?

ill sleep however... i like sleeping on my left side. on my stomach with my head to the right. on my back with my arms crossover my chest to keep warm. at the end of the bed with my head where my feet should be. i dont move at all when i sleep so freshman year when i had a lofted bed i think my roommate was a bit concerned in the beginning when i refused a bedrail because she thought i might fall. i never fell which was nice.

23. strange habits?

oh man idk i probably have a lot of those but nothing i can think about right now when im being put on the spot.

in elementary school i used to refuse to step on the yellow tiles at school.

29. best way to bond with you?

talk to me about the stuff i love!!!! and watch the stuff i love with me!!!! i am always down to [whatever the rabb.it replacement is these days] stuff with people and just generally both yell at each other and be passionate about stuff. currently what im passionate about is the stuff im screaming over at @winstonbillions so talk to me about that stuff!! please. i am always 3 seconds from screaming about ANY of that stuff.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

idk about outfits to kick ass and take names but i have outfits where i get my ass kicked and name taken aka what i wear to exams. which is my tower of pimps shirt which ive deemed lucky. is it lucky in any way? no, but i’m hoping if i wear it enough to exams it might.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag. suitcases are so large and unwieldily. that reminds me i have a suitcase of winter clothes in my trunk i need to take out.

41. last person you texted?

as in actual texts on my phone? that would be my dad. asking him if i should drop my class im failing.

as for the last person i instant messaged, that would be one of my mutuals through my musical theater sideblog im currently yelling at about [musical theater related interest]. im not kidding guys talk to me about the stuff i post about on @winstonbillions PLEASE

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

2 months ago i would have said hoodie but im kinda becoming a cardigan kind of person now. theyre just Soft and and Long and Casual and i love them. hoodies are too hard to take off.

47. favorite type of cheese?

mild cheddar, american, and mozzarella. i actually only Recently started cataloging cheeses in my brain to their actual names so for my entire life i was like i just like cheese even though there are certain ones i hate like swiss and blue cheese.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

a bit cold and a bit tired from typing all the answers to all these asks tbh. but other than that good. i just cut my nails because they were atrociously long.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“worm” or “fuck” or “no!” according to my roommate

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

oh my ogdokh oym ogdos sd fdospohm to mo edf ucmign fugod mfyo uacant just ask me this im going to absolutely die

in absolutely no order, all from completely from memory, and favorite for a variety of different reasons

“fuck you, math man. if you’re such a genius why can’t you count to loyalty” - mafee in 4x11 lamster billions

“captain, he think, and feels that much more powerful” - luminousbeings in you don’t have to (say yes) the star trek fic

“more than you know, i understand wanting to walk away from the jedi”“i know.” - anakin skywalker and ahsoka tano in 5x12 the wrong jedi star wars the clone wars

“i won’t leave you, not this time.” “then you will die” - ahsoka tano and darth vader in 2x12 twilight of the apprentice star wars rebels

“there is nothing so pure as a man on a mission. when faced with the fire, never quivers or runs. there is nothing so noble as sticking together, for lonely is the life lead when sticking to its guns." - narrator in bloodsong of love by joe iconis

“now i’ve got myself a name and i’m ready to risk it with a battle cry disguised as a sing-along” - never heard nothing by joe iconis

“i’m frickin done with being the loser, the wuss, the underdog. being the misfit, the old school analog. being the oddball, the weakling freak. the failure, the sucker, the please-don’t-speak. oh i can’t hardly wait for the moment when i’m not the loser the geek or whatever, ever again” - jeremy heere in be more chill by joe iconis

“i’m tired of being the person that everyone thinks that i am” - various in be more chill by joe iconis

“q is for quantitative, baby!” - winston in 4x12 extreme sandbox billions

“the cheering is just as important as the song” - lisa and ms. werring in the black suits by joe iconis

“first, best destiny” - spock in star trek ii wrath of khan

“be proud of your place in the cosmos. it is small, and yet it is. how unlikely. how fantastic, and stupid. and excellent.” - cecil in welcome to night vale old oak doors part b

“are we living a life that is safe from harm? of course not. we never are. the questions is are we living a life that is worth the harm?” - cecil in welcome to night vale parade day

“as I turned and my eyes beheld you, i displayed emotion. i beg forgiveness.” - spock somewhere in star trek tos

“the sky collapsed without a sound. these broken pieces hit the ground. the rain fell down around me and i drowned, but i will save you.” - part of me from dear evan hansen

“this is, after all, the story of how i died” - epsilon in the rvb13 trailer

“and while the law has many punishments for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors we inflict on ourselves.” - the director in the s6 finale of red vs blue

that was in no way an exhaustive list but all i could think of at the moment

67. good luck charms?

not really any tbh. i try to wear my tower of pimps shirt whenever i take an exam but that’s about it.

71. least favorite pattern?

what does this even fucking mean?????? i will say the observer design pattern in programming because i don’t understand it well despite having used it twice now.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

oh god idk why are all these questions getting harder. nothing i can think of at the moment.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i say school id tentatively, but neither of them looks great. my school id photo was a selfie.

83. writing or drawing?

writing. i wish to GOD i could draw and i probably could if i put in the amount of time i need to to learn how to draw but im a lazy bastard. but i’m not that great at writing either as i’ve found out. everything is way too short and out of character and too venty and i am weird about letting people i know read what i write (sorry @ all the people who keep asking me to let them read my writing. it’s not that great you’re not missing out at all and i hate the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known) and i abandon ideas literal minutes after getting them.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

what the fuck kind of question is this?????? i GUESS the answer should be me but uh i am not even putting myself before myself as i am procrastinating on a shitload of homework with this. i guess my “close” friends. they’re pretty chill. but generally ill do anything for anyone all you have to do is ask.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4, my own, my home landline, my dad’s cell, and my dad’s work.

#not rt #teresa answers stuff #long post #jesus christ sorry for the infodump #Anonymous

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lisaleigh713 · 3 years

Text

The Principal and his wife

During the summers in High School, I worked as a lifeguard at our city pool. It was a great way to make money, get some sun and check out all the hot guys all while getting paid to do so. I was allowed to wear whatever bathing suit I wanted so naturally I decided to wear bikinis, I just couldn’t wear a thong which is what I preferred.

My first summer at 15 years old proved educational. I saw a bunch of great looking guys and girls but my interest was more toward older men and women. I had been fucked before by a boy and since I had been fucking men and women, I realized I wanted nothing to do with a boy anymore.

That first summer was spent trying to figure things out. I wanted to know who came on a regular basis, how they dressed, did they notice me in my bikini? Ultimately what were my chances to hook up with some other men and women beside my teachers and family.

The summer past and I returned to school and to fucking my teachers. I didn’t fuck them for grades, as my grades were very good. I was on the honor roll every year. I fucked my teachers because they wanted to fuck me and fuck me they did.

The next summer rolled around and I was now 16 years old. I had been fucked almost every day by someone in my family or at school but now I was back to my job as a lifeguard. My boss really liked me as I did a great job and I had now fully matured to the size I am now, a 34DDD. Needless to say I had plenty of flesh hanging out of my bikini top.

The second week into the summer I saw a very familiar face, my principal from school. He was a very handsome man, educated and built. He was with his wife who could have graced the covers of any magazine to include Playboy. They had two children who were 11 and 12 years old. Both of their children were girls.

It was time for me to take a break and hydrate. I got down from my lifeguard stand and walked toward the lifeguard area in the back. I had to pass right in front of my principal Mr. Heard and his family. I stopped briefly to say hello and he didn’t recognize me right away, but when he did, his face beamed. I know that look, that is a look of “oh I want to fuck you right now.”

Mrs. Heard or Jill, as I came to call her, shook my hand which of course caused my tits to bounce. That was my in. Jills eyes widened and she smiled. She gripped my hand like she didn’t want to let go. Eventually of course she did.

I retired to the lifeguard room to cool down some and hydrate. I couldn’t help but get horny at the thought of fucking one or both of them so my pussy got wet, very wet. After 30 minutes I resumed my duties at a different lifeguard stand. I could see them as they were very close to me and on more than one occasion I caught them looking at me.

Since Mr. Heard and Jill kept looking at me naturally I needed to give them a show. I began spreading my legs to give them a better view of my crotch and of course I had to bend down so they could see my breast sway back and forth. Jill was getting hot. She was squirming around like an eel on dry land. I even one saw a small wet patch on her bikini bottom.

Mr. Heard on the other hand could not get up to go in the water. He had a raging hard on and from the looks of things it was big. Average in length but thick as a telephone pole. He would be fantasizing about me tonight while he fucked Jill. Eventually the pool closed and I went home to my mom. Dad was out of town for a few days and so it was just us girls.

Of course since I was horny mom and I had to play around with some new toys she purchased, but that is a story for another time.

The next day I went back to work and within a couple of hours Jill showed up by herself. I met with her and asked about Mr. Heard. Jill said her husband was out of town for a week at a school administrator conference and their daughters were on summer vaca with the grandparents.

“Wow, you mean to tell me you are alone for the whole week,” I said. Jill looked me in the eye, smiled and said, “yes Lisa, I will be alone the whole week should you need to stop by for anything.” I completely understood what Jill was saying. Jill wanted me to come over so we could make love to each other.

I phoned mom later and told her not to wait up for me as I would either be late or see her the next day after work. Mom completely understood and just advised to have a bunch of fun so I could come home and tell her about it later. At the end of the day, I showered and put on some fresh clothes. I put on a short skirt and a very see through white blouse with my heels and drove over to Jill Heard’s house.

I knocked on the door and when she opened the door she was dressed in nothing but a black lace bra, garter, silk seamed stockings and 5 inch black heels. Her hair, makeup and nails were perfect and she wore Chanel just like I did. She gently pulled me in to her house, closed the door and began to kiss me passionately. That was the nice thing, small talk or convincing was not necessary.

We kissed and necked and let our hands rubbed all over each others body. We needed to break as we were in no hurry. We stopped and had a glass of wine or two each. We talked about our experiences with the same sex and how hers started in college. I didn’t share too much other than I had been with other women too.

Jill said, “grab your wine and come with me.” I grabbed my wine and she grabbed my hand. She led me to the bedroom where we removed our tops and bottoms but left on our lace and heels. I like to get fucked in heels period.

We explored each others body for several hours, kissing and licking each others pussy and nipples until we both came very hard. We lay there on the bed with our chests heaving and still on that roller coaster of orgasms. Once our heartbeats returned to normal, she asked me where I learned to squirt. I explained my first time with a boy and how things were and then my discovery of squirting.

Jill expressed a desire to learn how to squirt and felt Mr. Heard would really like that in the bed. I exclaimed to her I would be happy to show her how. I got between her legs and began to slowly suck on her clit and lick her pussy. I told her to relax and breathe. I could tell she was getting close to an orgasm and I told her, “Jill when you start to cum, take a deep breath and slowly let it out relaxing your body, just let it go and it will happen.” I stepped up my pussy licking, clit sucking and nipple play and I could tell she was going to squirt. Everything tensed up and when she breathed in and relaxed she squirted all over the damn place.

Jill screamed and writhed all over the bed. I held onto her thighs with my arms and basically locked my head in between her legs and got my tongue on her clit so hard and my finger on her G-Spot. We were locked together like lovers should be. We rolled around on the bed for a bit squirting and convulsing. When the orgasm finally subsided, she pulled me up to her and kissed me so passionately. Then fell back in a heap on the bed.

I could see no more for the night and it was almost midnight so I decided to get up and go home. Jill was completely passed out and there would be no waking her until the next day. Mom asked how things went and I began to explain to which mom then wanted to taste Jill’s pussy on my tongue. Mom and I wound up fucking each other for about an hour and then we fell asleep in a pool of mixed orgasm from both of us.

The next day a work, I was honestly surprised to see Jill as the pool. She was so beautiful walking to where my stand was. I leaned down and asked how she was, Jill said, “my god that was the most incredible experience of my life, can we do that again today?” I said, “your in luck today is my early shift and I will be getting off at 2p.m.” Jill stated then, “and getting off again at 3p.m.

We went back to her house and fucked our brains silly after I got off work and we continued to fuck the rest of the week. Mr. Heard was due back Saturday morning and she expressed I really turned him on and how he fucked her that first night even once calling out my name. I knew where this could lead but was not ready for that path just yet. I had one more night with Jill and I wanted to take advantage of it.

Friday was another early shift for me and Jill did not come to the pool that day. I went by her house after work, dressed to the nines. I had on a short black leather micro shirt, a mesh see through red blouse, a garter belt, silk seamed stockings and my 6 inch black sling back leather stilettos. I knocked on the door and the door opened but not to Jill but to Mr. Heard.

I took a couple of steps back, my heart had stopped and I grew weak in the knees. Jill moved him aside, grabbed my hand and led me in to the living room. She only had on a see through black robe and her heels. She pulled me close to her and kissed me passionately. Our hands roamed over each other rubbing our breast and asses.

She stopped and pulled back. “Now your turn” as she looked at Mr. Heard. Mr. Heard moved over to me and did as commanded and begin to kiss me. Jill moved behind me and played with my tits and pussy while Mr. Heard kissed me. I was so turned on. Jill whispered in my ear, “I called him and asked him to come home early, I wanted to be with you both.”

My pussy was now dripping wet. We moved to the bedroom. Mr. Heard removed his clothes while Jill removed mine. I dropped to me knees and began to suck Mr. Heard’s cock, taking it all the way down. This seem to impress both Jill and Mr. Heard as she could not deep throat. Jill put her hand on the back of my head and pushed my head onto Mr. Heard’s cock encouraging me the whole time. “Thats it, suck that cock Lisa. Damn what a good girl. Lick his balls when you are down there.” Of course that just made Mr. Heard’s cock that much harder.

Jill and I lay on the bed. Mr. Heard was going to fuck his wife first but Jill said, “I want to watch you fuck Lisa.” So Mr. Heard moved over behind me while Jill moved in front of me. I got it, she wants me to make her squirt again so Mr. Heard could see her. Mr. Heard made a couple of stabs at me to no avail. I reached between my legs and took hold of his cock and guided him in but not my pussy, my ass.

I wanted Mr. Heard to fuck my ass while I ate his wife’s pussy. After a couple of minutes he looked down and stopped. “Holy shit!!!” He exclaimed. Of course Jill thinking something was wrong moved to where Mr. Heard was. “Damn” Jill said. You are in her ass. I said, “yes he is, now let him fuck my ass. Mr. Heard you can fuck my ass all night if you want while I make your wife squirt.”

That was enough. He started pounding my ass while i went back to getting Jill ready to squirt and squirt she did. She bathed me in her cum juice which set Mr. Heard off cumming in my ass. He started to pull out and I reached back, grabbed his ass and pulled him back in to me. “Don’t pull out, just stay there.” Mr. Heard and I moved together next to Jill, with his cock still in my ass.

We were all heaving and I had a small orgasm but this night was about The Heard’s. We all got our breathing under control and Mr. Heard cock slipped from my ass. “I have never fucked someone in the ass before,” said Mr. Heard. I retorted, “how was fucking my ass and cumming in my ass?” “Incredible just incredible,” said Mr. Heard. Jill was still in another world but quickly coming back to us.

This was their first threesome but it would not be their last. I excused myself briefly and upon returning found the Heard’s wrapped in each others’ arms and passed out. I dressed and went home only to find mom and dad in the living room fucking. Well what’s a girl to do except strip and join them. I had an incredible orgasm then along with mom and dad.

The weekend came and went and I returned to work on Monday. The Heard’s showed up again, still without their children. They couldn’t take their eyes off me nor I them. Jill came to me and said “do you think we can do that again tonight but only have him fuck my ass? Can you teach me to take his cock in my ass?” “Of course I can, and I would love to join you this evening.” Summer came and went and the Heard’s and I spent many a day and night together when their children were not at home.

School started back and I would meet Mr. Heard in the hall and if no one was looking he would allow his hand to slide across my breast or across my ass. This was a sign to meet him in his office, he wanted to fuck me.

I thought I was going to have to get a personal secretary for all the people wanting to fuck me but things just worked out so whoever wanted to fuck me was able too. Yes, I was a slut in school but Jim, the boy, would never have another piece of ass from me. Turns out he fucked another girls after me and after he began to brag, she confirmed they fucked but said he didn’t last even a minute and he has a tiny dick. Jim was laughed into oblivion. I wondered what ever became of Jim until one day…

Love and Kisses,

Lisa

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theotherdatablog · 5 years

Text

Addie and Michael are Dating/Courting: Full Overview

First, thank you so much to @fundiereadallaboutit for giving me an initial heads up that Addie might be in a relationship, plus some other information about her suitor and his family.

On May 1, 2019, Kressant Morton took to her Instagram, posting a picture of Adeline with a man named Michael who had come to visit Addie on her recent trip to Paraguay. She called them a “gorgeous couple” and said she was “so excited to finally meet” him. Adeline Grace Morton was the resident “bachelorette ‘til the rapture” of the Morton family until the news, being 27 Years Old and the oldest Born-In Morton to start a relationship to date. 21-Year-Old Michael Glen Holloway is a resident of Moultrie, Georgia, the Mortons’ hometown, and works as a jeweler. He has also previously worked as a firefighter and at a hardware store. He is the youngest of 3 children from parents Mark and Lisa Holloway.

Incidentally, Addie and Michael are the first Mortons not to have used the term “courtship” so far, but their exact status is unclear. For now I will describe the two as “in a relationship.”

How does their timing compare to the other members of her family?

How do their ages and age gaps compare to the other Mortons?

What can we predict for their future?

All of these answers and more...after the jump!

How Long Have They Been Together?

As of right now...we don’t really know. They both attended a gathering at Michael’s sister Erin Mercer’s house on March 2, 2019 and were pictured sitting on the couch together, but there was no other sign they might be together until the day Kressant confirmed the relationship. For now I’m using May 1, 2019 as the relationship start date, since they could have easily been in a “getting to know you” stage back in March.

When Was She Expected to Court?

Female Mortons, Born-In and In-Law, get engaged (the step for which we have the most data) at Age 21.36 on average and court for an average of 41 Days. Working backwards, that would place Addie’s first predicted courtship date at October 11, 2012. As she was “late,” her courtship start date was moved successively 2 Standard Deviations Forward, resulting in a predicted date of August 16, 2019. That makes her 2,393 Days Late to court based on the original prediction, and 107 Days Early based on the adjusted prediction.

How Do Their Ages Match the Data?

Addie Morton was born on July 15, 1991. She was 27.78 Years Old as of the announcement, which makes her the oldest Born-In Morton to start a relationship. Next oldest was Cleve, who proposed to Lise at the age of 25.06 after a very private courtship for which no data is available. Lise herself is the oldest Morton of all, and oldest female, to enter a relationship, as she was 29.75 Years Old at the time of Cleve’s proposal. Since age calculations are based off engagement for the Morton Predictor, let’s assume she has a typical-length relationship. Then Adeline is 1.88 Standard Deviations past the usual Morton age to court, or the 97th Percentile. Including her data, the typical age to court jumps to 21.90 Years for women, a change of 0.54 Years.

In terms of all of the other Morton Females and their relationships, this is how she fits in age-wise:

Rachel Smith: 17.82 Years (engagement)

Kressant Smith: 18.78 Years (engagement)

Kennedy Decker: 19.28 Years

Dorothy Morton: 20.22 Years

Martha Morton: 20.82 Years

Alyssa Campana: 20.88 Years

Campbell Roberts: 21.46 Years

Katie Morton: 22.65 Years (betrothal)

Adeline Morton: 27.78 Years

Lise Kendall: 29.75 Years (engagement)

Michael Holloway was born on July 20, 1997. He’s 21.78 Years Old, which is close to average for a Morton Male to start a relationship. The overall average was 20.68 Years beforehand. With the same assumptions as for Addie, he’s 0.51 Standard Deviations past the typical Morton age to court, or the 69.5th Percentile. Including his data, the typical age to court becomes 20.79 Years for men, a change of 0.11 Years.

In terms of all of the other Morton Males and their relationships, this is how Michael Holloway fits in age-wise:

Tayte Alexander: 18.07 Years

Sam Morton: 18.67 Years

Wesley Morton: 19.19 Years (engagement)

John Morton: 19.63 Years

Andrew Morton: 20.10 Years

Noah Sanders: 21.64 Years

Michael Holloway: 21.78 Years

Michael Morton: 21.88 Years (engagement)

Alan Smith: 22.33 Years (betrothal)

Cleve Morton: 25.06 Years (engagement)

What About Their Age Gap?

Addie is 6.01 Years Older than Michael (with some rounding), or 2,197 Days. This is the biggest Morton age gap to date; the next largest was between Cleve and Lise, which was 4.69 Years, also favoring the woman. It’s also a very atypical age gap for this family; their previous average was 210 Days or 0.57 Years, favoring the woman. With this new data, the Morton Average Age Gap moves to 408 Days or 1.12 Years, still favoring the woman, an increase of 198 Days. Interestingly this means that Edwin and Gabriella Campana (Alyssa’s sister) are no longer perfect for each other age-gap-wise.

Predictions

In short, here’s all of their expected relationship milestones:

Engagement: June 10, 2019

Wedding: November 2, 2019

Firstborn: February 2, 2020

Total Quiver: 10 Children

In more detail...

Engagement

So far, the Morton children with public relationships have courted for an average of 41 Days, with an SD of 31 Days. This gives us a 68% chance that a Morton relationship will last 10-72 Days before engagement. What does this mean for Addie and Michael? Well, here are the three dates that that range lines up with:

Early (+10 Days): May 11, 2019

Average (+ 41 Days): June 10, 2019 (Predictor uses this one)

Late (+ 72 Days): July 12, 2019

Recent Morton relationships have tended toward the longer side of that range, so I’m guessing mid-late June for the engagement. However, it’s also very possible that the relationship has been going on longer than we know, so it could easily be sooner.

Marriage

The average Morton engagement lasts for 143 Days before marriage and varies by a Standard Deviation of 82 Days. As a result, based on the data, there’s a 68% chance that a Morton engagement will result in a wedding 61-205 Days later. If we assume that a short courtship leads to a short engagement and vice versa, then that leads to a possible date range as follows:

Earliest (+ 61 Days): July 13, 2019

Average (+ 143 Days): November 2, 2019 (Predictor uses this one)

Latest (+ 205 Days): February 1, 2020

Note that the wedding dates are adjusted to Saturdays, when all of the Morton weddings have been scheduled.

Firstborn

The typical Morton firstborn arrives a blistering 302 Days after their parents say their vows, with a standard deviation of 46 Days. That gives us a 68% chance that any given Morton firstborn will arrive between 256-348 Days after the wedding. The three wedding dates above correspond to the following three firstborn birth dates:

Earliest (+ 256 Days): March 25, 2020

Average (+ 302 Days): August 30, 2020

Latest (+ 348 Days): January 14, 2021

Future Quiver

The typical Morton couple reproduces at a rate of 1 Child Every 544 Days, with a Standard Deviation of 208 Days. That’s a 68% chance for each child to come 336-752 Days after the next. Matching each relationship speed with its corresponding procreation speed, we have:

Fastest (1 Every 336 Days): 16 Children

Average (1 Every 544 Days): 10 Children (Predictor uses this one)

Slowest (1 Every 752 Days): 7 Children

That’s all for these folks for now! I look forward to observing their relationship progression.

#adeline morton #michael holloway #courtship

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zanrai-kid · 5 years

Text

And now, What Your Favorite JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Ship Says About You

Performed in the motif of @doubleca5t (feel free to steal)

Jonathan/Erina: You keep things canon and wholesome, but not necessarily overtly heterosexual. I mean, these crazy kids are too pure for this world.

Jonathan/Dio: Your bully kink and body horror fetish can finally overlap in perfect harmony.

Jonathan/Speedwagon: You are so deep in the meme cesspool that is JoJo that the mere mention of Robert E. O. Speedwagon gives you a rush.

Joseph/Caesar: You believe that Madonna’s “Vogue” is the greatest song ever written. Or at the very least live life in such a manner.

Joseph/Lisa Lisa: You haven’t finished Battle Tendency.

Joseph/Stroheim: Actual world history won’t stop you from this ship. Much like how the English Channel didn’t stop the Blitzkreig.

Caesar/Stroheim: You had a Hetalia phase.

Joseph/Suzy Q: Your ideal relationship dynamic is one shared brain cell.

Jotaro/Kakyoin: Either you own the collective works of CLAMP, or you are just here for the memes.

Kakyoin/Holy: Your Tinder profile includes the phrase “MILF hunter”.

Joseph/Avdol: You are attracted to the concept of “older men who were a certified himbo once upon a time”.

Avdol/Polnareff: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” you say? Well, here’s a ship that takes it to the illogical extreme.

Jotaro/DIO: OP and OTP are literally one letter away from each other.

Josuke/Okuyasu: You’re not only a morosexual, but you self identify as a moron.

Josuke/Rohan: You are either the stoic hardass or the goofy memelord in a relationship.

Okuyasu/Tomoko: Same joke has Kakyoin/Holy, but you are now a masochist.

Koichi/Yukako: You like the idea of Mirai Nikki, but hate the execution of Mirai Nikki.

Rohan/Reimi: You have culturally normalized fetishes, like babysitters.

“Kosaku” Yoshikage/Shinobu: You have weird fetishes, like Capgras Delusion.

Yoshikage/Hands: You have a boner at the mere mention of this ship.

Giorno/Bruno: You may not have a MILF kink, but you do know that Karen, age 46, Christian mother of four can still get it.

Giorno/Mista: Hirohiko Araki can only give so many hints before you crack under the weight of innuendo.

Giorno/Trish: You just want good things to happen to Trish, and really, who wouldn’t?

Mista/Trish: Same this as Giorno/Trish, except you’re the type who would say your girl looks stunning in everything instead of critiquing her like it’s What Not to Wear.

Bruno/Abbacchio: There is no stronger force on Earth than “a black aesthetic camp goth and white aesthetic camp goth sharing trauma and being the moms of their flock.”

Narancia/Trish: There is no stronger force on Earth than two children mutually united by their hatred of “The Man”.

Narancia/Fugo: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of footing the restaurant bill.

Sorbet/Gelato: You’re a testament to the gay community’s relentless pursuit of a canon mlm ship, even if it comes before the main story, lasts all of thirty seconds, and both parties of the ship are killed in hideous fashion.

Tiziano/Squalo: You like the Sorbet/Gelato dynamic, but traded “canon affirmation” for “innuendo and screentime”.

Cioccolata/Secco: You have a FetLife account.

Trish/Doppio: This ain’t it, chief.

Giorno/Jolyne: Your shipping of characters who are distantly related enough that it’s not weird supersedes the fact these two were born seven years apart.

Jolyne/Hermes: Korrasami landed the first blow, this ship and all its fanart took the killshot.

Jolyne/Foo Fighters: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of the sea...creatures.

Jolyne/Narciso: True love at first sight doesn’t have to make sense in your eyes. It just has to happen.

Hermes/Foo Fighters: You just want good things to happen to both Hermes and Foo, and really, who wouldn’t?

Weather/Narciso: You don’t know how you got here. You just know this is the one mlm ship in a room full of prison lesbians.

Pucci/DIO: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of the Catholic Church.

Johnny/Gyro: Not only are you a bisexual, you headcanon these two as such, and you consider Gyro Zeppeli to be the greatest husbando of all time.

Johnny/Diego: The stepbrother ship of Jonathan and Dio you held onto for six parts can now come to fruition once more as a rival ship.

Johnny/Hot Pants: You are shorter than average height, and believe short people should stick together.

Gyro/Hot Pants: You are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of the Catholic Church 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Gyro/Diego: You know what this means: 117034

Dino Pants (Diego/Hot Pants): Half of are here for the cooperation these two show, half of you ship secondary main characters, all of you are here for that ship name.

Gappy/Yasuho: Oh, you definitely had a High School Musical phase. I can’t prove it, but you likely did.

Gappy/Joshu: You are the only person who thinks this ship is okay.

Joshu/Yasuho: You think Mineta is a decent character.

Gappy/Karera: Unlike Araki, you never forget a good character.

Yoshikage/Josefumi: You have a Be Gay, Do Crimes laptop sticker/poster/tattoo.

Yasuho/Tooru: Oh, look at you, caught up with the manga. Pretty smug there, huh?

JoJo Ships: You would move time and space, centuries and dimensions to have that perfect, one in a million ship. People will call you crazy, they’ll say you crack ship, but you... you are here to prove them all wrong.

Stand Ships: One time, you had a sexual experience with a ghoul.

#jojo #doublecast #shipping #ships #jjba

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incandescent-eden · 5 years

Text

Effervescence

Desc: Sarah finds herself out of her element while attending a party with Evangeline, alcohol, old acquaintances, and stuffy theatre members.

TW/CW: alcohol, rudeness and bullying

Word Count: 2699

Effervescence.

Sarah had never been good at school. She had never been terrible, didn’t cause trouble, but was average, never liked doing math workbooks and vocabulary quizzes. One word, though, she could remember from her school days: effervescence. The state of being bubbly, either physically or in terms of personality.

Like Evangeline now.

Evangeline was stunning in her dusty pink dress with the pink tulle layers that reminded Sarah of a hydrangea, her dark hair spilling over her gossamer-covered shoulder, brushing against her long neck. A gold ribbon glinted against her dark brown locks - in a normal woman’s hair, a cheap ornament, but in Evangeline’s, a crown meant for a queen. Her lips, in their strangely pouting smile, were blazing red as always. She held her head high as she chatted with acquaintances, almost floating above the crowd as she walked.

Sarah watched as she talked and laughed with some of her friends from the theatre group, as well as some strangers. She threw her head back and laughed, her white teeth stark against her smooth, dark skin and red lips. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from the glittering champagne she held in a tall glass in her hand, a dangling bracelet made of seashells and dried macaroni on her slender wrist knocking against the stem of the champagne flute as she laughed.

So Sarah smiled, too, not because Theodore de Munch had said anything particularly funny, but because Evangeline had laughed with such mirth, and it was cute, really, the way she kept tucking her hair behind her ear to show off the dangly earrings.

Earrings, Sarah thought with pride, subconsciously standing a little taller, that Sarah had bought for her. Earrings that Evangeline loved.

Although she had not much to drink, Sarah still felt like the world was spinning, the faces blurring a little too much as she moved past, the music a little too loud. It wasn’t a bad feeling, per se, but it was definitely getting hot wearing a tuxedo jacket, even with her sleeves rolled up. The lights glowed in little orbs around the room, as if the party took place inside a glass of champagne, and the bubbles within glowed and floated about; everything was distorted, curved at the edges, blurry as if viewed through a glass and again through liquid.

But then she’d see Evangeline smile, and everything would focus once more. She didn’t expect to hear her name called. Sarah blinked.

“Sorry, what did I miss?” she asked. To her chagrin, the others in the circle started laughing.

“We were just wondering who this dormouse was that Angie brought in was,” tittered one of the actresses. Jennifer, she thought. Her hair was curled, blond, frizzing at the edges. Standing next to Evangeline, she looked luck a duck next to a swan, an acorn next to a hydrangea. She called Evangeline ‘Angie.’ Sarah smiled, watching the bubbles in her champagne as she rubbed her short hair with her free hand. It really was too hot here.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” Evangeline said. “This is Sarah!”

“A friend of yours, Angie?”

Evangeline shook her head. “Sarah’s my best friend.” She smiled widely at Sarah.

Sarah smiled back, although it felt wrong. Too many eyes on them, Jennifer’s especially, gleaming and probing. She ducked her head, looking in her champagne glass instead. There was her face, yellow and distorted.

Perhaps that was also what she looked like within Jennifer’s eyes, perhaps that was why she stared so intently - to figure out why Sarah looked so out of place.

“You haven’t known her very long,” Jennifer remarked. Her voice lifted and twisted, and she laughed, but there was malice creeping underneath, like a moonlit forest path, brightly lit but unnerving nonetheless.

Evangeline brushed her hair over her shoulder, revealing the smooth curve between her neck and her shoulder. “And yet, she is the person who I feel I know best.” She gave Jennifer a tight smile. “And of course, my girlfriend.”

She took Sarah’s hand, their fingers interlocked. Her hand was warm in Sarah’s, the seashells on her bracelet cool.

“And what is that hideous bracelet?” Jennifer said, sipping her champagne while eyeing Evangeline’s wrist. Her wrist, her plump finger pads against Sarah’s hand, her smooth palm. Jennifer’s gaze burned Sarah’s hand, mingling with the tingling from Evangeline’s soft grip.

“Oh, darling, I wouldn’t say that was the only hideous thing,” Theodore added with a chuckle, eyeing Evangeline’s dress.

Sarah clutched Evangeline’s hand. She wasn’t a confrontational person, really. Truly! Damned if she didn’t want to throw the champagne glass in Theodore’s face and then scream at Jennifer, though.

Evangeline squeezed Sarah’s hand back before letting go. She slipped the macaroni and seashell bracelet up and down her wrist with a demure smile that would have made the Mona Lisa sick with envy. “Oliver made this for me as a friendship charm,” she said. “I don’t think it’s ugly at all. In fact, how can something made with so much love be ugly?” She shook her head, her loose curls falling over her bare shoulders.

There was a split second where her long, dark lashes flashed gold in the light of a random camera flash somewhere in the party when she turned her head. Sarah’s heart jumped. Would that she could keep this image forever perfectly framed in her mind, this moment where Evangeline glowed! To the unobservant eye, perhaps, she was merely an odd woman in a dusty pink tulle mess with a tangled string of dry pasta and shells and glue on her wrist. Sarah knew better.

Perhaps it was the champagne, distorting her vision, or perhaps her glasses were smudged. What else could explain the way Evangeline blurred at the edges when she smiled, her cheeks glowing gently even when not under direct light?

“Oliver the kid from Velveteen Rabbit?” Jennifer asked, eyebrow arched. She couldn’t conceal the small smirk on her face even as she lifted her champagne glass to her lips and took a long sip. Sarah clenched her fist, but Evangeline patted her shoulder gently.

“Oliver, the kid who recites lines masterfully and also likes to make macaroni bracelets and design superheroes in his free time after school,” Evangeline corrected her. “He’s a bright young man, you know. Some of us could stand to learn a thing or two,” she said with a meaningful glance from Jennifer to Theodore and back to Jennifer.

“Well, I wouldn’t know about what little brats like to do, Angie,” said Jennifer, laughing. “But I should think you didn’t want children. You’re, well, you, after all.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Evangeline asked, lifting her chin so she stared down at Jennifer, her neck held so high a ballerina would be put to shame.

“Oh, I just mean, you never were the matronly type when we had our little fling,” Jennifer shrugged, sipping her champagne with a bored expression. “Don’t see why you’ve started now,” she said. Her eyes darted toward Sarah before returning to Evangeline.

Sarah shivered, although her face was hot. “I… I think, actually, Evangeline would be a great mother,” she said, staring at the bubbles in her glass. What was she saying? She had only drank a few sips, surely she could not be drunk? “I don’t know about when you had your… affair, but if you think that way, I’m sure you didn’t know Evangeline very well at all,” she continued, the words bubbling up to the surface and popping out of her mouth with more speed and force than could be stopped.

Evangeline looked at Sarah, red lips parted slightly to reveal white teeth. Proud surprise sparkled in her eyes. She smiled widely, beaming, really, and had just opened her mouth to speak when she was interrupted.

“The dormouse squeaks!” Theodore laughed raucously. “Very large for a dormouse, aren’t you?” he winked, eyeing Sarah’s wide girth.

Sarah’s face grew hotter by the minute. Perhaps they will think I’m drunk, she prayed. She shouldn’t have been so embarrassed. Not by the likes of Theodore with his reedy voice and upturned nose, nor by people like Jennifer, with her narrowed eyes and condescending smirks. And yet, next to statuesque, glowing, seraphic Evangeline, how could she feel like anything but a lump or a mouse, as Theodore put it?

She turned to look at Evangeline, startled to see how quickly her smile had disappeared, how dark her eyes flashed, how deep her snarling grimace was.

“We’re leaving, love,” Evangeline said abruptly, grabbing Sarah’s wrist. Her fingers were cold, but there was rage in the way she shook.

“So soon, Angie?” Jennifer said. “Stay for cocktails, at least! We so rarely get to see each other.”

Evangeline had already turned her back to them as she pulled Sarah behind her, but she snapped her head back just long enough to spit, “Yes, now, Jennifer. In fact, I do believe the year long headache you gave me the last we spent our time together has returned. I can’t say it’s a pity, really, but I wouldn’t want to grow snappy in your presence for the sake of upholding cordiality, so if you’ll excuse me, my current girlfriend and I have other places to be.”

And with that, she spun back on her heel and marched, her long legs a blur beneath her cloud of pink tulle.

It was cool outside on the street. Sarah watched the sky, inky and void. “I’m… Oh god, I’m so sorry, Evangeline,” she said at last, shoving her icy fingers in the pockets of her trousers. “I didn’t mean to cause trouble between you and your friends.”

Evangeline sighed, rubbing her bare arms. “Darling, what are you apologizing for? I hardly consider Jennifer and Theodore friends.” She shook her head, tongue sticking out, as if to clear her mouth of a bad taste. She looked at Sarah. Smiled.

She appeared softer out here in the darkness, with only the club’s neon sign illuminated behind her. Her right cheek was painted bright pink by the light. Sarah’s heart pounded, as if making a mad sprint the four feet from her chest to Evangeline’s arms.

“Still. I didn’t mean to cause trouble,” Sarah shrugged, smiling bashfully. She took her suit jacket off, hung it around Evangeline’s shaking shoulders.

Evangeline smiled gratefully, pulling the jacket closed around herself. “I meant what I said, you know. Jennifer always did give me a headache.”

“She seems... “

Evangeline laughed. It was a barking laugh. Hardly ladylike, but it was Sarah’s favorite laugh: real and bold and open. Maybe it wasn’t the bubbly persona its owner displayed, but it was rich in personality and fearlessness, just like Evangeline. “You don’t have to be polite, love, she’s a real witch, that Jennifer.” She looked at Sarah, and her expression softened.

“I’m sorry for losing my temper in there. It’s just…” she sighed, “The way they talked about Oliver was bad enough. But I couldn’t stand the way they called you dormouse, making fun of you.” She furrowed her brow, stamping her heeled foot on the dirty pavement in frustration. “You know, as if there was something wrong with being quiet or shy in a situation where everyone is making an utter fool of themselves! Or that… that you were somehow diminishing my status in any way!” She muttered some choice words that Sarah would never have repeated in front of Oliver.

Sarah laughed. “I didn’t mind! I mean, not too much, at least,” she said quietly, placing a hand on Evangeline’s shoulder.

Evangeline shook her head. “You are the one who makes me better than I could ever be on my own,” she promised, taking Sarah’s hand on her shoulder and squeezing it gently.

Sarah beamed, sliding her glasses back up her nose. Remembering Jennifer’s words, though, she frowned.

“What is it?” Evangeline asked, concerned.

“It’s nothing!” Sarah said quickly, but Evangeline persisted.

“Tell me.”

Sarah shrugged, self consciously rubbing the close cropped hair on the side of her head. “Jennifer and Theodore called you ‘Angie,’” she said.

“And you were wondering if maybe I preferred that and hadn’t told you?”

Sarah nodded, embarrassed. “I mean, I know it’s stupid, but I just wondered if maybe I had been wrong, and you hadn’t told me, and I didn’t want you to be unhappy, and…”

Evangeline took Sarah’s hand off her shoulder. Kissed it. “I always hated being called ‘Angie,’” she admitted.

“Really?”

She nodded. “‘Angie,’” she said with disgust. “It’s like they couldn’t say my name. Or like they thought it was too big, too grand, too much, and they wanted to contain it. ‘Angie’ is a fine name, of course,” she added, looking around in case any Angie’s were walking by. There was no one out in the night except the two of them and a bag of garbage on the sidewalk next to them.

“Besides,” she continued, that small smile that Sarah loved best returning to her face, “I like the way you say my name. You always pronounce every single syllable. Eeee-VAN-jeh-leen,” she said, mimicking Sarah. “A lot of people say it so rushed, like ‘eh-VAN-juh-lin,’ but not you.” She grinned, kissing Sarah’s hand again. “You make it sound so pretty.”

That’s because you’re so pretty! Sarah wanted to scream. Instead, she blushed. Stammered. “Well… uh… you know…” God damn it, Sarah, she internally screamed. Get it together!

Evangeline laughed. “Shall we go home then, sweet Sarah? I think I’ve had enough of bubbly and small talk tonight,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“One more thing?” Sarah asked. Her voice sounded small even to her in the darkness and uncharacteristic quiet of the city. She could still hear the dance music coming from inside the club, piano and trumpet blaring and laughing.

“Anything,” Evangeline promised. “Although… I rather like wearing your jacket, you may not get it back,” she teased.

“You called me your girlfriend,” Sarah said in awe. She could barely say the word ‘girlfriend.’ “Can you say it again?”

Confused, Evangeline replied, “Yes, of course, my lovely girlfriend.” She smiled uncertainly. “Why, though?”

“I just like the way you say it,” Sarah said softly. Shyly, she added, “And I wanted to make sure I heard you right.”

Evangeline laughed her barking, roaring laugh again. Sarah swore she could see little bubbles erupting from her, golden and sweet and celebratory. “Darling, we live together! I call you all kinds of pet names I would only ever call a sweetheart or a cat! I asked you to be my date to this cast party tonight!” She laughed and laughed, until even Sarah could not help but chuckle.

It was strange, really. If anyone else had done so, Sarah would have hidden away. Run away and never shown her face maybe. But when Evangeline laughed, Sarah thought she might turn to helium, her insides filled with joy, and float away carried by the sounds of an angel’s voice.

Evangeline wiped a tear from her eye. Her finger came away black from smudged mascara. “Yes,” she finally said. “I did mean it, love.” She thought about it, tapping her lower lip. The bracelet Oliver made her slid down her arm, disappearing into Sarah’s sleeve. “I meant that, too. Love. I love you, my girlfriend,” she said with the biggest, brightest smile that should the sun come up right at that moment and turn night into day, Sarah could not have seen it behind Evangeline’s beaming face.

She put her arm around Sarah’s shoulder, pulling her into a side hug, embracing her, then planted a kiss on Sarah’s hair. “You make me feel so… so intoxicated sometimes,” she murmured as she held Sarah close.

If only you knew, Sarah thought as they walked slowly down the street. “Effervescence,” she said aloud, albeit quietly.

“What was that, dear?”

“Nothing,” said Sarah. It was a bit chilly without her jacket, but her face was warm, and Evangeline’s arm around her left her entire left side tingling like she was made of bubbles.

Effervescence, she thought. The state of being bubbly, either physically or in terms of personality.

Effervescence. The way she felt whenever she was with Evangeline.

#wlw fiction #original fiction #writeblr #creative writing #my ocs #my writing #vbp_writes #original story #sarah and evangeline #on the corner of maple street

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brxedens · 5 years

Text

silent night // self-para

WHO: Ben Braeden

MENTIONED CHARACTERS: Lisa Braeden, Dean Winchester.

WHEN: December 25th, 2018

WHERE: Battle Creek, Michigan.

TW: violence, assault, guns, blood.

After his mother and step-father had come to pick Ben up from campus, there’s a sigh of relief after a rough couple of weeks that he’s going home to somewhere familiar. To things he knows as opposed to things, he was still getting used to.

Christmas afternoon. Presents well already opened. The crackling hot flames of the Braeden home’s fireplace, shining bright as Ben is in some ridiculous Christmas sweater his step-father had gotten them so himself, Ben and Lisa could match. Ben thought it was completely unesssicary but who was he to ruin a Christmas tradition set by them? What was Christmas without traditions and spent with those closest to you? Ben could be always pretty good with life as long as he had his mom around. He could sit there and reflect now.

College to him had been a blast. An experience in its own that Ben had just scratched the surface of. He was getting good grades. He was a hotshot amongst his peers, older and freshman alike. It was pretty perfect with no faults until Troy had died. Ben didn’t have many experiences with death, especially not to a friend his age. This was really the first that it had affected on a primary level because it was someone he knew. Not someone his friend knew. Not someone in his family. Not someone his mom knew. It was his friend.

He was from his baseball team died and the closest thing he had to a best friend there under circumstances he still didn’t completely understand. He’d been questioned by the police and then the FBI and still, he’d heard nothing. He got no closure. He hadn’t even gotten a real goodbye. He couldn’t help but feel slightly responsible. It was a shock to the fun mentality Ben had built up for himself in prepping for college but nothing could have prepared him for that. He contemplated on calling Dean for updates. How is it that some FBI agent he only spoke to for a few minutes seemed to care more about this case than anyone other than Troy’s parents? More than all the police. How could Ben tell all of that after a few minutes of discussion as opposed serval long hours by the police so they could get the most information they could.

All he could think about while he was staring at the fire was what could he have done? What more could have done so that his friend never would have died? What could he have changed about that particular night of the part? Did Troy’s parents blame him as much as he blamed himself behind closed doors? He didn’t even know.

The TV in the background was on the local New Channel. Talking about how there was a series of break-ins around the area, though to been done by youngers. Ben’s not really listening though. His attention is brought by his step-father asking him if he’d delivered the presents to his old school friends who lived not too far from him in which Ben responded that he’d forgotten.

He got up, ran upstairs and grabbed his coat, his hat, his scarf, some gloves and left with the presents he’d collected on the counter of the kitchen. He left through the back and went around the house. He’d done so much planning these last few weeks that maybe a walk would be good for him to clear his head.

Lisa, his mother, kept asking him if he was okay. Mainly because he was uncharacteristically quiet for this time of year and she definitely knew Troy’s death and that he needed some time but Ben didn’t want to intentionally push his mother away in the process but that seemed to be what he was doing. Ben and Lisa had an honest and open relationship. It’s hard for them to ever keep things and even if they did, it’s not for long.

30 MINUTES LATER.

Ben had only taken a little longer in delivering those gifts to his friends because he was invited inside to try some fresh pie they’d made and who was he to resist an offer like that? So it took him a little extra and he had come back with Christmas cards by there’s an eerie feeling that sets into his stomach when he gets to his front door.

The door was open. His first thought was that maybe he’d left it open? But then it hits him that he went through the back door and not the front. His knots tighten and his throat gulps as he slowly sets through the door with a Christmas bell chiming as he enters. Maybe he had nothing to worry about? Maybe his mom went out and forgot or maybe they were close by? Maybe had had a reason not to act as if the world was ending right before his very eyes.

Nothing seemed out of place other than that when he finally came inside. He shut the door behind him and lingers in the entrance of his house. It wasn’t quiet. If anything, the house was just as nosy as he left it. Or louder. Instead of the News he left on, the television noise of static is prominent and that freaks Ben out a little. His nerves skyrocket. He can hear the music of the radio playing in the kitchen. It’s nostalgic and it’s playing Sleigh Ride.

But it’s the absent sounds that leave him concerned so he calls.

“Mom? Pierson?”

Once.

“Guys? Hey, I’m back.”

Twice

“Just letting you know I’m alive?.... Mom?”

Third times was when his body froze over like the ice on the streets outside when he enters the living room. His body felt like it was going to shut down at what he was seeing now in the shape of three average size boys in black ski masks. The one in the middle clearly bigger than the other by his side and had a noticeable black leather jacket that’s hood came on top. It’s striking to Ben’s memory. His mom and his step-father tied up by their hands and mouths. Then it made sense, though Ben had passively been watching, he knew this was the people they were referring to on the news.

Nothing is audible but Ben’s parents are almost pleading with their eyes and grumbles for Ben to run away and to get away. To get help but all that’s running through his mind is that they’re in tragedy. That they’re in need and Ben’s honest frozen. He doesn’t know what he should do at this moment? He should be taught right. Pierson, his step father’s seems to be the loudest which annoyed them apparently. With the handle of a gun, Ben’s stepfather is knocked cleaned out with a quick swing that makes Ben jump.

His hands shaking with sweat, Ben’s turned around as if he was going to make a run for it but he wouldn’t? His mom was still there with an unconscious Pierson laying next to her.

Don’t even think about it, kid. Or your mom here is gunna get it next.

Ben wanted to gather up all the strength and courage he had to do more. He couldn’t let anyone, especially these pathetic human beings of robbers hurt his mom but what was he supposed to do. So Ben has a fake facade of confidence on now even though he’s shaking with everything in his body.

“Is that supposed to scare me? You think you guys are scary?”

No. But this should.

And with that, the guy in the middle, the clear ringleader in this messed up circus’ act was now pointing a gun at Lisa and it’s like his mother has dead eyes as she stared at the armed weapon. Ben wouldn’t have this? Threats to his mom who had been nothing but give kindness to those who deserved it. Who’d singlehandedly raised him into the guy he was today? No. Threats on her were unacceptable. So it took Ben’s whole being and willpower to do this but he threw himself in front of the gun as if to say fuck it.

The guy laughed. All of them did. Before the leader moved his gun right to Ben’s head whilst the others continue to take stuff from the house to their vehicles outside that Ben had walked past thinking it wasn’t too strange. The streets were empty, everyone in their homes for Christmas.

The bravery is cute and all kid but how about you quit your yapping and get on your fucking knees and shut the fuck up. You hear me? I can do this so many ways but it’d be easier if you stop fucking talking. Or do you want to end up like your old man over there?

Ben’s shaking like a leaf. What now? He looked towards his mom and thought that somehow she might be disappointed in him. Instead, she nods. Just do what they say. Maybe they’d get out of this better of then Ben doing anything stupid but how could Ben do that? He shouldn’t play hero. but somehow that was in his veins and maybe it was stupid. Ben slowly lowered to his knees, hand above behind his head. Hereos had power, right? But how could he unlock that when this gun is pointed at his head. He’s facing the possibility of death right on him and his life would be taken away with a pure click.

He was anything but powerful. He felt pathetic. That he wasn’t doing a good job as a son in protecting his mother from crap like this.

The other two minions of trio with black masks were in and out of the house, waving to neighbours as if they were friends of the Braeden household clan but had no clue that Ben was inside facing life or death. Lisa was tied up. Pierson was unconscious but while a few minutes that get longer and longer pass by, Ben’s anger bubbles until a breaking point where he explodes like a bomb going off.

So quick fear had turned to anger had turned to rage.

He charged where he used all the strength he had within him to knock the guy down. The gun slid a little distance towards the Christmas tree and Ben just throws punches at his face for a while until it gets him to bleed.

Son of a bitch. How the fuck? Y-....You are dead, kid. You are so fucking dead.

They wrestle each other and the guy should have had the advantage. He slips Ben onto the floor to pin him there while he tries reaching for his gun. Ben also trying to reach for it just so he can have it. To gain power. To gain that advantage and make this guy feel as useless as Ben had felt a few moments ago with that weapon to his head. But it’s only occurred to him that these kids didn’t sound like old men. They sound around his age which was sad for only a short while. He could never forgive anyone who tried to hurt his family.

In the midst of the brawling, the robber got hold of the gun again and Ben panicked.

“No!”

He screamed as he did a lunch jump from the ground to tackle him and in that tackled the gun went off. It was loaded, as he expected but from his position on the floor, he looked forward to seeing that his mom was silent and was bleeding.

It got her.

The robber took that time to get up and run. He didn’t actually plan on shooting anybody. It was just leverage. The power he needed and he didn’t someone blood on his hands so he took off without thought.

“Mom.” Ben got up and went to her side immediately to press on the wound but hadn’t thought straight. He had her literally blood on his hands. “N-No...No. Mom. Please stay with me okay. Don’t close your eyes. You’re going to be okay.” he spoke to reassure himself before he ran to get some actual cloth. He heard on television or film or something of the kind he was supposed to put pressure on the wound right whilst he called 991. So he did that. Exactly that. He did what he was supposed to do.

He sat by her side, cling onto her but not too tight.

“This was my fault mom...Stay with me, okay. The ambulance is coming. This is all my fault. I’m so sorry.”

And now there are years running through his eyes whilst the continuation of television static and another random Christmas song on the radio playing. Silent Night lyrics. Sleep in Heavenly Peace.

#self para #tw:blood #tw:assult #tw:armed robbery #tw:violence #tw:harsh language #this para is sponsored by teddy going to hell

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