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itsagrimm · 2 years

Text

The Fire

Cad Bane X she/her able-bodied reader

Beta read by the amazing @queenquazar , Duros biology got some input by the equally amazing Spoiledyoghurt (Ao3)

Note: kinda forgot that we actually have Cad Bane’s official ship name. Just pretend I always used “The Justifier”. sorry.

CN: violence, mentions of alcohol and being drunk, guns and weapons, bit of stalker-ish behavior, fighting, arson, getting carried and grabbed, biting, tracking, hunting

5k words

The Hat Collection Masterlist

After three rotations of travel, the ship left hyperspace and Nar Shaddaa - the smuggler's moon and heart of the galactic criminal world - was in front of you.

It was an implausible sight. While sitting in the co-pilot's seat you stared at it, yet unable to grasp what your eyes perceived. You had read about Coruscant, Nar Shaddaa and other ecumenopolis, where entire surfaces of planets or moons were covered in urban sprawl. Yet seeing it felt like seeing a droid’s absurd dream.

“Dank farrik.” You whispered.

Boba pushed a few buttons and commenced landing while you had little choice but to watch and wait. You did not know how to pilot and had little experience traveling through space. It was expensive and you were not the type of person swimming in credits.

A jolt went through the ship as it tilted and you finally landed on the plattform. With the gravity shift, you suddenly had to crawl out of the cockpit to follow Boba to the exit where he turned towards you.

“Remember,” he said. “This is just a quick stop to mostly get some attention. Stay close to me. It’s dangerous here.”

You nodded without arguing. At some point he had to look away from you, giving you a chance to slip away. Better to keep Boba in the illusion of your humility.

“Let’s go.” Boba called and stepped off the ship.

The landing platform and local harbor sprawled as far as you could see. Trask had a decent size harbor, bringing in a steady amount of travelers into your cantina. This was bigger than any harbor you had ever seen. Ships landed and started wherever you looked, and people of all kinds moved and scurried around. It was a fascinating sight.

All of them were armed.

Suddenly Boba with his head to toe armor did not appear as outlandish as he had on Trask. Rather it was you who was noticeably off without a blaster or practical protective gear in your simple, unwashed, and partially borrowed clothing.

I look weak.

Instantly you lifted your head up and straightened your shoulders in a sorry attempt to hide that. The last thing you needed in escaping Boba was getting caught by somebody else.

“We’ll walk around a bit. Do some shopping first.” Boba explained and took you by the hand.

It was an odd gesture, nearly like a child gripping their parent’s hand.

You squeezed reassuringly to not betray your plans of getting away from him the first moment he would let go.

Boba led you through several streets and alleys until you reached a huge place on the surface full of neat market stands offering every imaginable or unimaginable thing in the galaxy. Droids and sentiments with the ability to fly, moved above your head, carrying around packages of what must be goods from the market. And voices called around you - some in Galactic Basic, Huttese or Ryl but most foreign and unknown to you.

Boba elbowed his way through, while dragging you behind him.

At a market stand for fruits and meal kits he stopped, ordered a bunch of things to be delivered to the ship, before turning towards you.

“Do you need anything?”

“Oh, I have a say in that?” You stared at him in disbelief.

“What?” He shrugged. “Do you think after 3 rotations of you shivering and borrowing my clothes, I won’t ask? No, my dad taught me to treat women better.”

“Oh, Boba,” You could not help yourself teasing him. ”Are you worried about me or about running out of clean socks?”

Boba tilted his head. With his helmet it was hard to tell what he was thinking.

“Both,” He finally admitted.

“How chivalrous. Your dad must be proud.”

He paused. “We will travel on for a while after this. If you need something, now is the time to get it.” He finally explained.

“Do I get a permanent toothbrush spot in the refresher too?”

You felt like you accidentally developed x-ray-sight for you could see how Boba rolled his eyes under his helmet. “I have a few things I need.” You returned to a more casual tone, dropping the teasing. Best to leave Boba the illusion of you staying close to him.

Boba nodded as you listed a few plausible things - toiletries and some clothes. Again, like a man on a mission, Boba took you by the hand and moved you to one stall after another to get your things. Silently, he paid for everything and ordered it to be delivered to the ship before pushing his way out of the market area and into a darker alley. Dutifully, and without a chance to escape his iron grip, you tagged along.

“Now that we got everything,” Boba started, “Let’s get us some attention.”

“Have you come up with something?” You inquired, hoping it was something to help you get out.

“Yes.” Boba swallowed audibly through the modulator. ”We're gonna pick a fight in a cantina.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Pretty sure just a cantina fight will not draw enough attention. They happen here every day.”

Having seen all those weapons everybody on Nar Shaddaa wore around so casually, you weren’t particularly keen on starting a fight.

“We will have to make it convincing then. It will work.” Boba stated without much room for argument.

Stars help me.

XXX

Cad Bane had promised himself only to pass through the market where TODO had claimed to see her. Bane swore that he hadn’t packed up quickly and wasn’t actively looking for his lil’ loth cat. And, he nearly persuaded himself that he didn’t take a detour to his ship just for the chance of catching a glimpse for her.

No, this was ridiculous and he needed to get it together. He needed to return to his life as a bounty hunter and ban all thoughts of her into that sorry little corner of his mind, where he ventured only during especially dark, lonely or drunk moments of his life.

He stalked through the shadows of the backstreets; always on the lookout and avoiding being seen out of habit for all those enemies and unfriendly acquaintances he had made on the long way to becoming who he was now.

“I wonder how she got here to Nar Shaddaa?” TODO babbled right next to him. ”I accidentally passed her and would not believe my photonic receptors, so I scanned her just to make sure but-”

Bane growled to shut the droid up. The last thing he needed was a droid giving input about the woman he tried to forget. Already being here was a vulnerability Bane hated to admit to.

Pushing his hat down, he made his way nearly to the space harbor before coming to an abrupt halt.

Right in front of him, only a few short steps out of the shadows, and about to enter a sleazy cantina, was the lil’ loth cat. Gravity pulled him towards her like she was a massive star and he - nothing but a little rock drifting in space, getting crushed and set ablaze just by her presence.

He stared at her, unable to move.

She walked with her chin high and her back upright. As always, she punished the world around her with a gaze that could melt Hoth if the glaciers there gave her a reason to. Combined with it, was the nearly ever present teasing smirk on her lips, ready to laugh even Death in the face. And yet, with his sharp Duro senses he saw her little human heart beat and that delicious spot at her neck move rhythmically.

Brave lil’ one.

He could not suppress his admiration for her. Even being in one of the most dangerous places in the galaxy and with her heart beating in fear, lil’ lady proved herself admirably stoic from the outside.

Someone called her and grabbed her by the hand.

It irked Bane how harshley this stranger grabbed her, suppressing a disapproving growl to not draw attention to himself. He followed the armored arm up with his eyes to the face of the sorry creature Bane briefly considered tearing into pieces for touching her like that, before he froze in motion.

It was Jango’s helmet.

XXX

You glanced around the cantina. It was not much different than the one you worked at back home.

Home.

What a funny thing to think of now. There was no way you could ever return there, it would be the first place for the bounty hunters to look for her.

Another thought you pushed away to concentrate on the here and now.

The room was mostly lit by the rays of natural light falling through the transpari steel windows and illuminated screens showing bounties and the local menu. You rolled your eyes at the menu.

3 brands of cheap spotchka and thinly brewd kork beer.

The professional barkeeper in you was disappointed. The people of Nar Shaddaa deserved better drinks.

“You want a drink?”, Boba asked and pushed you softly towards the counter.

“Hoth, no.”

He tilted his helmed head in question, making you sigh.

“Kork beer is basically just water,” You explained. “And ‘Blue Yonder’, ‘the Spirit’s Spirit‘ and ‘Abyss’ are famously bad spotchka brands. I would even be hesitant calling ‘Blue Yonder’ spotchka.”

It was true. As a barkeeper you had tried basically every liquor brand tolerable to humans at least once. You had to know what you were serving to your customers after all. But as much as cutting costs was necessary in every cantina you worked before, all those brands and especially the most affordable ‘Blue Yonder’ was known to be no more than ethanol mixed with a bit of meiloorun juice to give it some flavor and coloring. It tasted like someone mixed ship fuel with sweetener. You vividly remembered the burning, nearly painful sensation of the little sample. You had shared it with your boss, before collectively deciding that even the cheapest way to get to blue yonder was not worth ‘Blue Yonder’.

“That bad, huh?” Boba concluded.

“Oh, yes. Drinking this feels like aging a thousand times faster on the spot.”

“Well, you will know more about aging,” The teen chuckled.

“Oi,” you protested playfully, “Have a little more respect for your elders.”

Boba just chuckled more and leaned against the counter.

“Okay, who should we start with?”He asked.

“Boba,” you asked carefully, eyeing him with worry. “Are you suggesting you just beat one of them up?”

“Why not?”

You were at a loss of words.

“Boba, no…” You tried.

“What? Are you scared?”

“Don’t dare me like a kid,” Annoyance dripped off your words. “This just feels a bit … excessive. Is that really necessary?”

“It will give us the attention we need.”

You looked around the sorry cantina guests staring into their cups, mumbling with each other or sleeping in varying positions of comfort.

“Are you sure this-” You stilled as a tall shadow appeared in the entrance.

XXX

Bane retreated more into the shadows of the alley to consider his next steps. The Duro hunting instinct pushed him to just get into the cantina, blasters blazing and get his woman.

But she wasn’t his. He had pushed her away. He didn't even know how she got here. Maybe she wanted this.

His mouth sunk into a disapproving curve. It was rude and invasive of him to perceive her this way, but something pushed him to check if she was okay and find out how she got here. And then he would back off and leave her be.

Yeah, just check. This means nothing. But this armor…

“TODO,” he growled, “Get to the Harbor and request the list of ships currently docked.”

“But I am not a protocol-”

Bane groaned in annoyance.

“After you get it, send it to me before returning to The Justifier and preparing my ship for take off. Got it?”

“Of course, Master Bane.” The droid chirped and went off.

Alone, the bounty hunter leaned against the wall and collected his thoughts. The last news he had of Jango Fett, his former partner, was of his death. And yet someone was here, wearing exactly that armor right next to his - no, the lil’ lady. He was sure it was the same armor, even with the change in color. He had seen that armor so often, memorized every dent, every scratch, every clasp he had to open to get the skin beneath it. Bane was ready to swear on his life and a considerable amount of his fortune that this was Jango’s armor.

But how?

Who?

and why?

He snarled disapprovingly. Jango had left years ago only to get himself killed by a Jedi. Damn Jedi. Another reason to hate them. They had taken the chance from Bane to ask Jango what had made him leave and then, considering Jango’s reason, maybe beheading the old rattle box himself. But Jango was dead. And yet someone was there wearing the armor and dragging the loth cat lady around.

Bane felt his Duro hunting instincts tingle. He took a deep breath not to get lost in the deep detached and concentrated Duro-on-the-hunt-state. As much as he enjoyed the simplicity of the fight, he needed his mind clear and present.

He peeked under the brim of his hat and considered his options.

XXX

Cold sweat gathered on your temples at the sight of Aurra and Bossk entering the cantina. Aurra stalked closer with steady and determined steps while Bossk stopped and leaned next to the only exit in sight, guarding it.

“Well, well, well,” Aurra purred in a strange friendly voice as she reached the bar. “Look who we got here?”

“Aurra, good to see you.” Boba greeted equally superficially before casually stepping in front of you and getting his armored body between you and the tall armed bounty hunter.

“Hi,” You managed, already regretting speaking up. You really needed to learn how to shut up.

Aurra shot you a look and you suppressed a flinch, instead smiling politely.

“Boba,” Aurra continued while leaning casually against the bar. ”Care to introduce us? I recall seeing this human on Trask before you left us there out of the blue…”

“Yeah, about that.” Boba continued. “This is my aunt. You understand that in my circum-”

“Your aunt?” the woman sneered. “From your mothers side?”

With fast and strong fingers she grabbed Boba at the side of the helmet and slammed him on the top of the bar counter before Boba could reply anything.

“Don’t give me this bantha crap, Boba.“ Aurra hissed. “Who is this woman? Does she have a connection to Bane? Did you get her away from us so that you would not have to share the reward from luring him out and bringing him in?”

Boba staggered and gripped the counter to recover from the hit.

He groaned.

You stared at the two bounty hunters in front of you. Boba might be your kidnapper but he was effectively a polite, somewhat troubled kid. Aurra on the other hand… You felt a rush of deep seated fear surfacing as she looked up and stared at you with piercing eyes.

“Enlighten me,” she challenged. “Who are you and what do you have to do with Bane?”

“Oh,” You managed while stepping backwards before being able to stop yourself. “Sorry for causing so much trouble. I haven’t seen my nephew in years. His mother and I drifted apart so I did not recognize dear little Boba first. Hadn’t seen each other in years.”

Aurra smiled maliciously.

Shit, You said something wrong.

You felt yourself lean against the counter to get closer to anything you could use as a weapon.

“Oh yeah? So Boba is your sister's son?”

Boba huffed and straightened up again.

You peeked over the counter. Just big spotchka bottles, cups and a few boxes of matches. Kriff.

“U-hu. One big happy family reunion” You managed.

“Touching. Family truly is something special.”

Aurra drew her blaster from the holster on her thigh and aimed at you.

You stopped breathing.

“Stop playing around. I hate being lied to and I retaliate on principle for it.”

“Aurra.” Boba spoke up again. “I can explain, lower your weapon. Please.”

A part of you registered the teens pleading tone for your life. But most of you could not think about anything other than the massive blaster trained at you. You were going to die. You felt yourself getting shaky and weak in the knees before you took a quick breath.

No, kriff them all. This ain’t the end of it yet.

You smiled at Aurra, not averting your gaze from her, and pushed down your fear.

“It was disappointingly easy to predict you would go to Nar Shaddaa, Boba.” Aurra hissed. “It's always Coruscant, Tatooine or Nar Shaddaa with the beginners. And Nar Shaddaa was the closest. But now tell me who this woman is, for she sure as Hoth is not your aunt. Or, I'll shoot her.”

Before Aurra could trigger the blaster, she stumbled. Boba had tackled her, using her being distracted by you. A blaster bolt hissed past you and you crouched down to avoid more shots.

You looked around, everything fell apart around you. Aurra and Boba rolled over the floor and fought to get the upper hand. Other customers of the cantina drew their weapons and encircled the two fighters on the floor while others crawled under the table to hide from more possible blaster bolts.

Someone grabbed you by the neck from behind.

“Tell me, why are you so much trouble? You must be valuable.” It was another customer. A tall, human and unfortunately strong man had picked you up as if you weighed nothing.

“Let me go!” You demanded, kicking and shoving against him.

He only laughed at you before you lashed out at him, scratching at him and aiming for the eyes. In surprise he let go of you, dropping you onto the floor. Disoriented, you tried crawling away from him but he caught you by the leg and pulled you closer. You cried out in surprise and kicked at his hand, hearing an ugly sound of some bones breaking. The man yelled in pain yet did not let go. You kicked again, aiming at the other hand grabbing onto your leg.

Before you could land another hit someone jumped over you and crashed into the man. You did not waste time checking who it was and stumbled up, turning to the door. The cantina had completely fallen into chaos with customers brawling, Aurra holding Boba in a headlock while the teen kicked his head back up to land a hit at her jaw, Bossk and your attacker behind you interlocked in another violent mess of limbs and heavy breathing. So it must have been the trandoshan who had intervened for you.

With Bossk gone from guarding the door, there was nothing stopping you from fleeing. You made a short step in the direction of the door before reconsidering and grabbing a few bottles of cheap spotchka and matches. With the heavy load in your hands you stumbled through the fighting mess, before making it to the door. Quickly you opened the bottles and started pouring them out in the doorway. You needed to gain time to flee, making it hard or impossible for the bounty hunters to follow you.

Determined you lit up a match and threw it at the blue liquid.

Instantly the cheap spotchka caught fire, roaring high and hungry and - most importantly - making it pretty impossible for anyone to follow you outside this way.

You stumbled away from the flames and into the alley. Smoke was rising up and you coughted, first time becoming aware of how heavy you were breathing and how hot you felt from the fight.

You turned around and started to run as fast as possible, leaving the angry shouts behind you and ignoring the pain in your lungs. As fast as you could you made through the alleys - further and further into the deep dark streets of Nar Shaddaa - running, stumbling, crawling. At some point you left the surface and went down using the stairs and lifts in the hope of shaking off any possible pursuer and even jumping over a few chasm’s between walkways just to make sure.

After you felt like you would pass out from your lungs hurting, you dared stopping at a little, secluded corner and leaned against a wall.

Tired and defeated, you slid down. You took a few deep breaths of air to help the pain in your lungs subside. After a while of controlled breathing you started to feel better, your legs still shaky yet not as boneless as the last few desperate jumps you made to escape.

You bend your knees who had gotten bruised at some point, and hug yourself before finally allowing yourself to feel. Tears started to roll down your cheeks and little gasps escaped you, fighting for air again as everything came crashing down on you.

You had fought.

You had fought for your life and then you had set a fire to help you escape. You had been kidnapped, attacked, threatened, insulted, yelled at - all for a man that wasn’t even there.

Frustrated, you punched against the wall next to you.

Kriff, that hurt.

You wanted to go home, back on Trask to crawl into your bed and sleep. You wanted to take a long hot bath, get some fresh clothes and then lament about the whole experience to Luna while stealing some of the good spotchka from the cantina. You wanted to have a good cooked meal with some time to enjoy it and be alone for a while. You wanted to forget that boy Boba who talked about hurting people as if it’s nothing. Or Bossk who stared down at you like you were nothing. Or Aurra who’s piercing stare made you feel looked at like a little insect under a magnifying glass.

But instead you had become the perceived key for all of them to a man who obviously was gone - yet everybody was out there to remind you of him.

Cad Bane, if I ever cross your path again, I’m gonna slap you for this.

You allowed yourself a few more luxurious moments of wailing and self-pity. As the tears washed away a little bit of that burden resting on your shoulders, you hugged your bruised knees closer to your body and started thinking about what to do now.

XXX

Cad Bane would have starred at the lil’ loth cat lady doing arson with raised eyebrows if he had any body hair. Watching her splashing and pouring the spotchka generously into the doorway and then torching up the place took guts. And it had been an effective way to stop anyone following her, maybe even killing a few of her pursuers.

He felt himself nodding silently in appreciation for her displayed work. Maybe the lil’ loth cat had it under control, finding her path through the galaxy and doing what needed to be done to ensure her safety without his help. She clearly did not need anyone as far as Bane was concerned. He had seen professionals doing worse. Maybe it was time to leave; do some work, whore around and get drunk to forget her.

He was about to leave as he watched Bossk finally shoot through the reinforced transpari steel window and stumble out of the burning cantina. Right after him was Aurra, a bunch of people Bane did not recognize, and the person in Jango Fett’s armor. All of them coughed, wretched or collapsed into the street.

“Where issss she?” Bane heard Bossk yell between coughs. “Where did ssssshe go? Can’t sssseel a kriffing thing due to the sssmoke.”

Aurra coughed violently and shook her head.

“Boba!” The huge trandoshan managed to call between coughs before getting up to his full size and grabbing the person in Jango’s armor.

“Who issss that woman, Boba?” The trandoshan growled, squinting his eyes. “Tell me now or I sssswear you will die here on the ssssspot.”

Boba, the person wearing the armor, stayed silent. Bane had to give the stranger some credit for not whimpering and breaking instantly under Bossk’s angry gaze.

The trandoshan sighed, ripped off the helmet and pushed Boba against the next wall.

“Ssspeak!”

Bane felt like something was off with gravity. The revealed face under Jango’s helmet was Jango. Younger maybe. But it was identical.

Anger, rage and regret roared up their ugly heads inside of him, clawing from his mind at his sanity. This was impossible.

It can’t be Jango.

“Okay, okay. I’ll talk” said the boy with Jango’s face and voice. Bane flinched at the sound.

“The woman is connected to Bane. Maybe his lover or girlfriend. Not sure what exactly but worth a try to draw him out this way. That's why I brought her here.” The boy coughed. “By causing enough ruckus he would hear about her being in danger and show up. Let me go and I’ll find her.”

Bane felt gravity shift a second time. He was the reason she was in danger. Instead of ensuring her safety he was the reason his lil’ loth cat was in danger. And from none other than his closest colleagues and competitors Aurra and Bossk.

And whoever that miniature-Jango over there was.

But why? Why this interest in finding him? Bounty hunter came and went. And he just had taken a bit of time off.

Something wasn’t adding up.

Bane closed his eyes, listened to Aurra, Bossk and Boba coughing their lungs out in the hopes of gathering more intel only to hear nothing except more painful and dry gasps.

Impatiently Bane drummed with his finger against the brim of his hat.

He had to find her first, he was sure of that.

Just to make sure she was safe, nothing more of course.

And he had to apologize for causing her all of this.

This mess with the Hutts, the wrong Jango, Aurra and Bossk had to wait.

He needed to track her first.

His mind calmed as Bane slipped into his predatory hunting state of mind, thinking of nothing but her, remembering her warm human skin, her hair, her proud gaze and most and foremost - her smell.

Bane stalked through the streets of Nar Shaddaa tracking the lady. It was rare for him to tap into his duros predatoriness this much. He liked using his mind more instead of relying on purely his tracking instincts. And in a world full with spaceships and racers they rarely were useful anyway. But now, he needed the sharpness of his senses focused to find her despite the many distracting smells around him, the smoke from the arson, or her attempts to loosen any pursuers.

He crouched down.

She had touched the ground here, maybe stumbled and rolled over the floor before getting up again to run.

Bane made a face at the thought of her hurting herself and lifted his hat. He needed to get close to get her scent. Pushing all the thoughts away thinking about how odd it was and how rarely he did this, he licked. A few molecules of her scent danced on his tongue and he closed his eyes to concentrate on it. It was a sweet smell, making him remember more pleasurable things than crouching in the dirt. It was a smell that made him want to bite.

He got up and put his hat back on to calm himself. The excitement of the hunt was dangerously close to overcoming him.

She wasn’t his prey.

She…

Bane started moving to follow her, driven by the will to find her. Her smell was a beacon in the dark. He chased her while passing people that quickly gave way. He must look ferocious with his eyes gleaming and his bared teeth. She had gone far away, running deeper and deeper into the maze-like structure of Nar Shaddaa but Bane stalked her with a steady pace, sometimes close enough to hear her steps running and running and running away from him. Sometimes she was nearly gone. Bane growled and listened for her, his sharp senses ignoring everything but the target, no not target she was not-

Her heartbeat was close by, on the other side of a chasm between walkways. He jumped after her without much consideration for himself.

He picked her scent again, her smell being close by.

She had touched the wall to catch herself, the humidity and heat still visible on the permacrete for his sharpened eyes. Bane put his own long hand next to her’s on the wall to ground himself.

She was so small, so human.

More of her smell made it onto his tongue as he licked the wall in instinct for more of her.

She was close and her smell was…

He started running.

Something was hurting her. The agony a bitter taste in his mouth, making his teeth grind painfully and drawing blood from biting into his lips in a sorry attempt for control.

He jumped down a few more stairs, leaning into his instincts to track her and protect her from any possible attackers, before rushing down a longer secluded corridor and scanning for attackers or a sign of her.

He growled, pacing around and looking for his loth cat lady. Her scent was so strong she must have been here.

“Bane?”

Something moved in the corner of his eyes between some pipes so he jumped with bared teeth and his hands up for attack, slamming into whoever it was.

The smell of her hit him like a wall, her heartbeat fast like of a little animal, little fearful sounds escaped her as she struggled against his iron grip and his teeth -

He stumbled back while letting go of her.

She was there in front of him. Starring in surprise with teary eyes and her hand raised on her shoulder where he had bit her.

He felt his mouth go dry at the sight of the wound.

“I am sorry. I-”, he started while raising his hands in a soothing gesture.

“Bane?!” She yelled with a voice dancing between anger, pain and the incoming shock. “ Did you just kriffing bite me?!”

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lilsychloe · 4 months

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happy christmas, @skarsgardhqs

bill,

i'll be honest and say that i sat here for a few hours trying to find the right words to say, because the last few months have been a bit surreal to me. never would i imagine that i'd be celebrating christmas this year with you, let alone with our beautiful daughter and yours. when i reached out to you earlier this year, it was because i missed you more than i've ever missed anything else in my life and i felt a little empty without you. and now that you're back in my life and we're raising linnéa together, that feeling of something missing is gone and i feel whole again. i don't know if you believe in fate, but i believe that fate brought me into that bar in cabo that night and fate made us talk and laugh like old times. and even though what happened was the last thing we expected to happen, i'll say that one of the greatest gifts i could have ever been given was given me to that night. not only did i get the most beautiful daughter in the world in linnéa, i also got you and oona back because of that night and i honestly don't think it's possible for me to be any happier than i am right now. i can say without a doubt that i look forward to our future together, i look forward to seeing where it heads and i look forward to raising linnéa with you because i know it's going to be an adventure like no other. i also feel very blessed that i'm going to get to be a part of oona's life as well, because she's just as special to me as her dad is, and i'll admit that i missed her just as much as i had missed you. i also just need to say that i knew how amazing of a dad you were after watching you with oona, but watching you with linnéa has opened my eyes up more to just how amazing you are. and even though our little one is still very tiny, i know that both girls love you so much. because of feeling truly blessed myself this christmas because of you and the girls, hopefully, i can make you feel equally as blessed with my presence and the presents that i got you. i spent a lot of time trying to look for the perfect gift for you, and i really hope that you like them and i hope you have a fantastic christmas because that's what you deserve. and i'm looking forward to the next year ahead, and honestly looking forward to more christmases with you and our girls.

love,

lily

of course i had to make you some christmas candy, hopefully you're as big of fan as christmas bark as i am! i figured i'd give you two kinds of chocolate that way you have choices!

the minute i saw this shirt i knew i had to get it for you, because honestly if you can handle being the father of two daughters you can handle anything else!

i just think you being a girl dad is pretty cute, so figured i should get you a hoodie that says it, yeah?

i wanted to get you something nice that will make you feel spoiled, since you tend to never buy things for yourself that'll spoil you. i saw this watch and just figured it would look fantastic on your arm, so i hope that you like it. and i know what you're thinking, it's too much lily, but it's not too much because you deserve everything and more.

i know that when we were talking about holidays i said that we should check for oona's input first, but i still think we can do that and just take two holidays if she wasn't too keen on this one. i booked us some time at victoria falls river lodge in one of the luxury family tents. it's an open ended vacation, we can go whenever we both have the time but figured it would be a wonderful vacation for the girls and for us. especially with all the animals we'll get to see, which i have a feeling that oona will really enjoy and honestly so will i.

#( gifts to — bill s. )#( bill — you cause a thunder in my veins when you’re around. )#( event — 2023 christmas. )

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cheiyunn · 1 month

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Kimisute main story [3部 ] Part 4

Side: Fantome Iris

[Sharehouse]

Koharu: It’s not that I have a suspicion… it’s more like…

Koharu: In the past… I had also once seen Feli act out like that…

Daimon: Are you thinking about the time when the previous band disbanded?

Koharu: You also caught on?

Daimon: Not really, I had a fleeting thought that that may be the case

Tomoru: What happened?

Koharu: I can’t pinpoint where but, the Feli from back then, there was definitely something up with how he acted

Koharu: Well, him making decisions to go here and there are the same as now but…

Koharu: How do I put this… there was sometimes a more dictator-like feeling there

Koharu: Plus there was a lot more disputes between members too…

Jun: I thought that it’d be inevitable that there’d be some disagreements and conflicts between so..?

Koharu: That's true but… I can’t really put it into words, sorry

Koharu: Somehow, I felt like I was seeing a double of the Feli from back then, so it kinda got me thinkin’

Tomoru: His previous band, huh

Jun: Is…is this another warning for disbandment…?

Koharu: I don’t know. Just like then, nothing was really explained either

Koharu: I’m not in the position to say this but still… in truth he’s already broken up one band already

Koharu: As it stands, the current Fantome Iris has succeeded in bringing forth his ideal world, and that's something that Feli himself gets as well

Koharu: Thats why, I can’t really imagine him letting this go so willy-nilly either

Jun: thats… thats right…

Tomoru: …in this situation, its better to postpone our participation then it seems

Daimon: Tomoru, what do you mean?

Tomoru: Ah, sorry. Actually, I was planning on discussing it here too so

Tomoru: Could you take a look at this?

Koharu: hm? Whats that?

Jun: 「Notice: Sales ranking game sponsored by GENESIS TRAX to commemorate the return of the vocalist of the legendary band SYANA, Iryuu Koga 」...

Daimon: Thats reminds me that a while back there was news about him returning

Koharu: GENESIS TRAX is like, a worldwide-known label isn’t it. Whoa

Jun: wha…what’s with this one?

Tomoru: I got this from Mashu-san post live

Tomoru: He said that it’ll be good promo for both GYROAXIA and Fantome Iris so give it a try

Jun: 「This promotion will be aligned with the sale start of Iryuu Koga’s solo single, in order to light the music industry up. In particular, we would like to request newer bands to participate as well」 ...

Jun: But, to release alongside that Iryuu Koga, thats… isn’t that too reckless?

Jun: It’s more like, those who are worthless dross bow your heads and look upon my presence ..?

Daimon: Aren’t you just imagining it for the worst? I’m pretty sure its just as written there

Tomoru: If we released a new song alongside this promotion, there is a chance we’ll bring in more talk so, I was thinking of discussing this in the direction of joining but…

Tomoru: If I put Feli-san’s current condition into consideration, maybe its for the best that we skip out on this one

Koharu: He did seem to be in a stump for new song ideas too…

Daimon: While he has already started, considering he was just in France yesterday, I don’t believe that he’s made much progress on that end

Daimon: Even the walk he’s out on right now, he said he wanted to finalize the concept

Tomoru: and dealing a final blow like this on him isn’t good either

Tomoru: …later, I think I’ll just put in a call to decline with Mashu-san

Daimon: …yeah. For this time, that sounds like the best choice

Jun: Ah, but… is it really okay for us to be making this decision on our own…

Koharu: True. It’s probably a good idea to form a solid reason as to why we’re thinkin’ of declining this offer to Feli that he’ll need to accept too

Tomoru: That's right. Thank you

Daimon: …Koharu. Don’t you think its better for you to explain Felix’s situation a little more to these two?

Koharu: But thats…

Daimon: I believe that anything that affects the band’s financial input should be equally and thoroughly discussed with every member.

Tomoru: Daimon-san…

Koharu: …you, you got a point there. But at the same time, it’s not like I know everything either

Daimon: When needed, I’ll chime in too

Koharu: Feli wouldn’t want his personal reasons to negatively affect the band either so

Koharu: He definitely wouldn’t talk on his own accord

Daimon: …

Koharu: Well, if me spilling it sours his mood, I’ll apologize for that

#fromargonavis #fantome iris

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calespsychoticbubble · 1 year

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I don’t talk about them much anymore, at least not in person. But I think of them often. I hope they are well. I am long past hanging on or feeling resentment/anger/sadness etc. It doesn’t bother him that I bring them up every once in a while, but to remain respectful of our relationship, I don’t bring them up too much.

But I can’t help but think about how they have contributed to who I am today, for better or for worse. My need for independence, my need for him to be independent, my desire to be included in everything, an appreciation for harmony in my family, to name a few. And I appreciate that the Lord has guided me through these lessons. I was so afraid to rely the first time that I convinced myself that the second time his genuine request to “let me do things for you” meant everything. And I lost so much in that. I’m still re-learning that independence. Being single was an important time to become fully independent.

Now it’s a careful balance, our time together a cautionary tale to protect myself in the present. I still need to do things myself, but it’s okay to ask for help.

And in the present, I told him these stories one by one, and I think my concern of losing myself and my will came through. He considered my thoughts carefully before responding, saying that he has no intention of babying me as his girlfriend. I felt a mix of relief and disappointment. Relieved because I think it meant to me that my risk of falling back into that trap was lessened, but disappointed because I think the idealistic side of me wanted to be coddled. But it what I want is a partner to walk next to me, I need to stand on my own. And I can see a partnership growing. We cook together, not him cooking all the time (although we do take turns picking up the slack if the other is lacking energy). We take turns driving, although he waits for me to ask him to drive because I am still the primary driver. I do the grocery shopping by myself most of the time, which I reflect on fondly when I remember how much I hated myself for not being able to go grocery shopping alone after the breakup. I still need to be independent, and here I am, independent.

I remember both times, I was afraid that they would fall apart if we broke up. Not because they were weak, but because I could sense the emotional enmeshment and I was afraid to take responsibility for their heartbreak. In the end, I am responsible for causing the hurt, but what they do with it is their decision. But that fear drove some of my decisions during my time with them. Making sure they had friends they saw, that they saw their family/stayed connected with them, that they made decisions on their own without my input. Because at the end of the day, if we broke up, they would need their friends, their family, and they would be left with the consequences of the choices that they made. I couldn’t stand the idea that I told them what career to pursue or what car to buy and then they would be left with that.

And in the present, some part of that slips through. I remember not even wanting to offer an opinion on what dress shirt or tie to buy when we were shopping for a formal event. I knew what style he wore, and I had other preferences, and I was afraid to tell him what I thought. Something as silly as clothing that I didn’t want to offer an opinion. But he pushed for it, asked for my opinion, and I trusted that he would not follow me blindly. Now I am less hesitant to offer my opinion, and I’m trusting in this person who is equally independent of me to consider me without losing himself in our relationship.

And in between those two, being independent, wanting them to be independent, I am learning to let him make his own mistakes. I can offer my own opinion, let him consider it, make his own choice, and then learn from them. Not that I am right all the time, but it’s much more enriching to work with someone and not just lead or follow them. Recently, we bought pork spare ribs and we froze it so that we wouldn’t be eating it for an entire week. I usually cut up the ribs and freeze them so that it’s easy to prepare them later. He wanted to just put the strips right into the freezer. It’s not really a big deal either way, so he folded them up and froze them. Just yesterday as he was struggling with the half-froze strips of pork ribs, he said that next time, lesson learned, he will cut the ribs before freezing them.

Moreso the second time, when I had given up my opinions and my will, I was excluded from major decisions regarding the relationship. While I have always loved knowing things, I think the experience reinforced this idea that I needed to be included in things revolving my significant other. Not that I needed to make all the decisions or have my opinion included, but being kept in the loop and made aware is the bare minimum.

That’s why, in the present, I was so appreciative of the way he included me when I would go away for the summer. Our calls kept me updated on his life, our friends, and it felt like he genuinely wanted to share his life with me. And now, as an actual couple, I feel like I know this person and I know this person’s life. I know his thoughts and his feelings and I’m not surprised when he tells me something.

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xo-cuteplosion-xo · 3 years

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Ey its bestie! You're back, its nice to see you doing a bit better and accepting requests.

(It's midnight but I lost my log in info and can't get into my email to reset my password T_T)

But I have a request.

Could you do a Chuuya x reader (a miracle I'm not requesting fyodor- I may later for this same scenario XD)

So a female reader who's Dazai's sister, younger by a bit and she has a thing for chuuya? But when oda died and Dazai went to leave she didn't get a say?

Could you do a bit about how she is with the ADA (she's not really a member but dazai doesn't trust her alone while he's working so she gets to sit and do paperwork.)

And also some part about her sneaking out when he's asleep to see chuuya.

Then Dazai finding out and they fight and he realizes he should let her be independent and make her own choices?

(Also similar ability to Dazai's nullification???)

Eyo! I missed seeing you in my ask-box. This request was oddly specific, so I tried my best! (H/c+scenario)

Chuuya x Reader who’s Dazai’s younger sister

Words:1635

Being the sister of a suicidal maniac like Osamu isn’t easy.

Osamu’s overprotective, he knows he has enemies and you're the closest person to him.

In the mafia, you didn’t mind his controlling eye.

Always having to be near you or having another person like Kouyou watching over you.

A moment of alone time was rare.

It resulted in fights frequently, but you'd never win, he was an executive while you were not.

He tended to pull that card too, considering the mafia considered you a subordinate under Osamu.

When you meet Chuuya, spending time, or rather being forced to attend missions with Osamu, became easier.

Chuuya appeared to be equal to Osamu in your brother's eyes.

It took a while to rack nerves up, but you did eventually.

After a while, you and Chuuya would gang up on the tallest in the group.

Osamu would never see it coming, the three of you seemed more like kids now.

Eventually, you began to spend time with Chuuya alone. Whether Osamu knew or not didn’t matter.

Chuuya and you liked to go to bars and often rough-housed playfully.

Games of who could come up with the best insult for your brother were frequent.

Nights, where you got drunk, ended with lots of banter about the older brother.

At some point, you developed feelings for him.

The more time the two of you spent together, the more you would open up to him.

Dazai had no idea about the relationship you and Chuuya had.

He knew you two were close, maybe about as close as he and Oda, but he didn’t understand how much you liked the ginger.

When Oda died, the small bit of relationship you had with your brother broke.

You left Chuuya without a say in the matter.

For two years there wasn’t a moment where you had privacy.

When he joined the ADA, he dragged you with him.

You didn’t join, refusing to really betray the Mafia, you wanted to be able to return to Chuuya one day.

“Y/n, stop moping around.”

“I didn’t ask for your input, Osamu.”

You hated talking with him.

So, when he was passed out, you snuck out to have a bit of freedom.

That freedom was all you needed

It felt nice to have a bit of space and time for you to be you.

It was accidental to run into Chuuya one night, after three and half years, the reunion wasn’t pretty at the start.

Rain pelted down, hitting the sidewalk beneath your feet. You and your brother had just had another fight. This time it was over how he was controlling and didn’t listen to you. It wasn’t a surprise that you were furious. You used to take anger out by shooting people or even picking on your brother. Lately both options have been taken from you. Out of habit, your feet had carried you into an alleyway. With no other way to get your anger out, you began hitting a wall with your bare fist as you mumbled curses and let frustrated tears roll down your face. You continued until your fist was grabbed. “Osamu, I swear-” you were cut off when you were tossed onto the ground. Looking up, you knew who it was. “Chuuya?” Were you imagining it?

“Don’t act like so familiar with me, deserter.” right… you left him. “Why the hell are you out in the rain?” Just seeing him undid the last string you had. Tears flowed down, ignoring the stinging of your bleeding hand you focused on him. “Eh? The fuck? Why are you crying?”

You shook your head trying to stop the tears. “I’m sorry, Chuuya, I didn’t… I wanna go back.”

That night had ended with him holding you. While you couldn’t escape back to the mafia yet, you’d start sneaking out at night more often.

Things began to look up for you.

You did your desk work. Secretly answering texts, falling into a love that never left.

You looked forward to every night, the second Osamu passed out.

Everybody saw the positive change. The sister who never did anything and cussed out anybody who tried to yell or talk to her slowly began to smile.

You opened up to people, there were small conversations between the members of the Agency.

Even Osamu seemed shocked by the sudden change.

It lasted for a while, about a year.

You were careless one day, thinking he was asleep when he wasn’t

The second that door opened, he was alert.

“Where are you going?” His voice held no sympathy. Cold, like you were used to hearing.

“Out, maybe to have a smoke or to get drunk.” The drinking part may be true, you had plans with Chuuya tonight.

“I don’t recall you asking…” You spun on your heels, trying your best not to snap back. It never ended up well.

“Osamu, I'm an adult. I can take care of myself.” You gave him the same expressionless cold tone he was giving you.

“Go back to bed… Tell Chuuya you won’t be sneaking out anymore.” Your eyes widened, patting yourself down for your phone while your brother dangled it in his fingers.

“The hell!” you swiped it off him before slapping him across the face. At least you attempted to, but he swiftly moved back and away from your hand. “I can’t stand you! I hate you! You don’t respect me.” There was a line that always hit the tip of your tongue. A line that would get him to shut up. You wouldn’t, at least you’d never been upset enough to scream at him. All this was over his friend's death. You knew him too. You were upset over how he was used, but your brother left the Mafia over it. He never talked about why he left. “I wish you'd never met him! I wish you’d never got involved with... with that stupid man! It’s not like there was any benefit to switching sides of the coin!”

His eyes dropped any sliver of remorse, narrowing in your direction. “Don’t you dare talk about him like that! He was a good man, better than either of us could ever hope to be! If I hadn’t known him, we’d still be killing people without a single ounce of care! How selfish are you?”

In a flurry of anger, without thinking, you shouted back. “I didn’t want to leave! I wanted to be his one and only! I loved Chuuya, but you took that away from me! You didn’t change, you’re still a selfish, unfeeling, cold bastard, Osamu! You never asked me how I felt, or if I wanted to leave. I was content in the mafia, I hate you, go fulfill your stupid wish of dying for all I care. If you drop off the earth, then I’d be free.” He didn’t stop you when you stormed out, slamming the door behind you.

It was the first time you’d ever snapped at him like that. You fought a lot, but never had you told him to kill himself before. It was new, but also terrifying. He’d always blamed others and situations, but never himself. He’d been the one to ruin the sibling bond you had… when you two first entered the mafia, he’d stripped the relationship down, so afraid he’d lose you to the violence. Then when he’d lost Oda, he’d been petrified, haunted even by the idea you would leave him alone in the world. He’d lost so much, but he’d never thought about you. Has he ever asked if you were happy? Looking back, when he first suspected you were sneaking out, you were smiling, talking with his co-workers. Did Chuuya really make you that happy?

It was sudden, but he didn’t track you down.

He didn’t deserve to.

When they asked where you were, he simply waved it off saying he didn’t want to fight with you to bring you here.

When you randomly showed up one day with a note stating you weren't coming back, Dazai had almost gone to yell at you again.

Instead, he accepted defeat.

When the day came to a close and you were about to leave, probably to Chuuya, he grabbed onto your arm with a sigh.

“Osamu, if you’re going to try forcing me back… I welcome the challenge.” unexpectedly, he shook his head softly.

“No, this is what you want. I was selfish… but I was scared I'd lose you too… I’m sorry that I messed things up. I’m trying to be better, not just to honor his wish, but… to be a better brother.” His words sounded pitiful. Enough to make you sigh and turn to hug him.

“I can’t bring myself to stay hating you. You’re my big brother, after all, you did all this thinking it would protect your little sister. But I've grown up Osamu." The ending of the hug was bitter, but he watched you run off with a small smile. He’d see you again eventually.

Life as a couple with Chuuya was eventful.

If it wasn’t your brother bothering you about protection it was Kouyou

It wasn’t like you two were idiots.

Yes, you got drunk a lot, did it drunk a lot… but you took precautions even for that.

Mafia life suited you better, going on missions side by side, complaining about work… this was how your life was supposed to be.

In the rare times that you had an alliance with the agency, Osamu worked with both you and Chuuya.

Those days made you feel like a teen again. Sitting aside your brother and Chuuya, planning all sorts of ways to make your brother miserable.

Osamu was simply happy to see you smiling and laughing again… given that Chuuya had nearly beaten him to death for making you cry several times.

You now had a protective boyfriend and protective brother. Neither dared to step over your boundary though. They let you have all the space you needed.

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favoniuscodex · 3 years

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eternity. [zhongli/reader]

prompt: arranged marriage royalty au with zhongli, in which you are the child of the dendro archon, sent to marry the emperor of liyue. pairing: emperor!zhongli/f!royalty!reader word count: 3.8k warnings: fluff, kissing scene (don’t tell my mom) a/n: SUPER close to being gn!reader! i just couldn’t think of a gender-neutral term for empress, which is used twice in this story. otherwise, it’s completely gender-neutral if that sort of thing doesn’t bother you! there will be one of these for both diluc and childe too sometime close in the future! additional note: i tried my best to respect the culture liyue is based off (chinese) by incorporating some small aspects of chinese culture (clothes + titles)! if any of these are done incorrectly, please please PLEASE let me know so i can fix it!

to say you were nervous to meet your future husband was an understatement. you were a child of the dendro archon, an heir of the monarchist nation of sumeru. third-in-line for the throne, you held no chance of inheriting the throne. so, upon your 200th birthday and years of studying to be a scholar, your parents decided that marrying you off to another kingdom was the best choice for your destiny.

you just hadn’t expected it to be the reclusive archon emperor of liyue.

upon your first meeting with him, you were shaken to the core. he was sharp on the edges, yet easy on the eyes. his gaze was intense, amber eyes holding a subdued ferocity within their depths. his figure briefly alluded to the hidden power that lies within him, an unusual form for a god of war. he towered over you in height, reminiscent of the mountain scenery you had witnessed upon your journey to liyue’s capital. despite your worries, you did your best to remain cordial and gave a standing bow in his direction upon first meeting him.

any intimidating impression you had of him shattered at that instant as a deep, yet kind laugh escaped his lips at your actions.

“please, there is no need to bow,” the geo archon explained. “we are to be equals, are we not?”

one thing you hadn’t expected was for the geo archon, zhongli, as he insisted you call him, to have your same affinity for reading. being raised in a nation of scholars meant that their royal heirs were expected to always have their noses in a book and, fortunately for you, you had been more than happy to do so. the geo archon’s palace, situated on the edge of liyue harbor, had a library that rivaled that of your motherland’s.

upon hearing from his service staff that you had taken a liking to the royal library, zhongli had made it a point to come and read with you. the first time he had done so, you were so enthralled by the pulp fiction romance novel you had picked up that you had failed to acknowledge his presence. rather than interrupting you, the geo archon had silently sat down on the plush armchair, distanced from yours by a coffee table, and opened up a book as well. you hadn’t noted the turning of his pages and, if not for a servant to interrupt your train of thought to set tea down on the table before you, you weren’t sure if you ever would have noticed.

“oh, pardon me, i did not request any t-” you stated while the sentence you were reading. however, the words died on your lips as you glanced up, realizing the emperor and the servant were now both sitting before you. “oh.”

the single word escaped your mouth before you could stop it, but, fortunately, zhongli interpreted it as what you meant it as: a statement of surprise, not one of disappointment. a soft amusement twinkled in his eyes at your widened eyes, you being clearly shaken by not having noticed him sitting before you. he turns and smiles at the nervous-looking staff member and allows the man to depart the scene, who quickly scurries off.

“i hope i am not intruding,” zhongli states, turning the book in his hands over and resting it on his lap, pages downward. he leans forward, gently grasps his teacup (black tea, you noted, looking at its contents) and stirs it with an ornate, white iron spoon, cor lapis embedded in its handle. “the tea was merely a precautionary gesture. if you do not wish to drink any, please do not feel obligated to.”

you feel a faint heat rise to your cheeks, embarrassed at the thought of seeming like you were ungrateful for his kind gesture. he likely just wanted the tea for himself and did not wish to be rude, you told yourself.

“i- it’s not that,” your voice stammers in a soft tone, worried about your noise level within the quiet aisles of the library. “i just did not wish to have the hardworking service staff unnecessarily cater to me for something i did not place an order for. however, i appreciate the gracious gesture and am no longer perturbed by the action, knowing that it was something you called for. i appreciate the hospitality.”

the brunette quirked an eyebrow upwards and hovered his lips above his golden-and-white teacup before blowing softly on the liquid. you noted the geo elemental insignia molded into the bottom of the mug, seeming to glow the same color as his eyes.

“is that so?” zhongli’s words had an aura of amusement interwoven into them, entertained by your dissertation-length explanation. you nodded, feeling your face burn with bashfulness, and quickly redirected your gaze to the book at hand.

“pardon my interruption, but what is the book you are reading? you seem to be quite enthralled by it.”

the book held an illustration of a shirtless man holding a fair maiden close to him in front of the ocean, about as cheesy as you could get for any book cover. you weren’t sure how you were going to survive this conversation.

“it’s called… um…” you trail off, speaking in an even quieter tone than before. “love on the sea of clouds.”

if zhongli’s eyes held a faint amusement within them before, the amber pools are now glistening with delight. a chuckle escapes his lips. “oh? that’s one of my favorites.”

---

zhongli managed to contradict nearly any expectation you held of his behavior before you had met him. like most royals, you had expected him to act in an uncouth, entitled manner, who placed self-indulgence before the care of others. now, as you sat next to him in a meeting with the qixing, you realized he placed the care of his nation first and foremost. your mind trailed off as you watched his amber eyes shift with every word he spoke, his eyebrows making the most subtle of movements as his lips parted and closed. of course you were paying attention to what he was saying! you definitely weren’t using this as a chance to burn his visage into your mind!

“what do you think, (y/n)?” zhongli asks, turning to look at you. despite the two of you having a rather different fundamental knowledge of the world, his having been cultivated from his experiences leading liyue, and yours having been crafted from the presence of sumerian scholars, zhongli deeply valued your input on issues affecting liyue. he cherished the unique perspective you could provide on the nation’s affairs. normally, you were more than happy to oblige and help. one day, you would be his right-hand, his equal, he had once told you, but for now, you were not yet married and still acclimating to becoming a liyuean royal.

but at this moment? you feel ice cold mortification trickling into your veins. your failure to pay attention was now catching up to you as zhongli and the rest of the qixing looked at you, anticipating your response.

“well,” you calmly stated, trying to gather your thoughts. “i believe that to be a good idea, but…” you glanced away, pretending to be lost in thought. “you also need to consider the changing societal expectations of liyueans before doing such a thing.”

the answer was pulled completely out of your ass, but the spritely yuheng, keqing, could not have been more thrilled at your words. she immediately launched into a lengthy diatribe of agreeance, using your words to help back up her point. oh, harbor management. that’s what they were talking about.

as you forced yourself to pay attention to keqing, rather than ogling your husband-to-be again, you noticed a slight smirk cross his face out of the corner of your eye. to any of the other qixing in the room, it would seem like zhongli was happy with your answer, but you knew better. he knew you had spaced off staring at him and had put you on the spot to fluster you. his eyes were glowing with the amusement you had come to be familiar with.

---

your wedding date is approaching when zhongli arrives at your chambers one morning, guards and servants cast aside. he’s dressed in an ornate golden-brown suit, adorned with silver accents and matching gloves. the outfit, while complex, is a change of pace from his usual robes and traditional liyuean attire, reminding you instead of a well-dressed businessman.

“hello,” he speaks, looking slightly nervous, as if he doesn’t know the words to say. “would you like to accompany me somewhere?”

zhongli waits patiently for you to get ready in the sitting area of your chambers. you elect for an outfit that reminds you of his -- something respectful, yet less extravagant than typical royal garments. you arrive back to zhongli, your presence snapping him out of his reverie. his worry-ladened expression softens at your arrival and he musters a soft smile before standing up and extending a hand to you.

“shall we?”

---

zhongli takes you to a secluded memorial within the palace gardens, one you wouldn’t have noticed unless it was pointed out to you. the entrance is obscured by a variety of hanging plants, meaning that only those who know of its presence are likely to find it. zhongli’s grip on your hand tightened ever so slightly as he pauses at the entrance, before stepping forward, guiding you behind him.

the memorial, protected from the sun with plant-interwoven latticework, provides a sanctuary of shade from the warm atmosphere of the otherwise outdoor gardens. through the holes created by gaps in the foliage of ivy and sturdy lattice wood, sunlight filters in, allowing the marble statue of the woman within to glow in the sunlight. she’s dressed in antique robes, the kind you recognize from museums and your studies of old cultures. a warm smile sits on her face and her irises, made of cor lapis, shine with a kindness and wisdom reminiscent of zhongli’s. her arms are outstretched and cupped, as if she’s offering something to whoever views her statue.

zhongli takes the initiative to place the blossom of one of the glaze lilies growing near her feet within her palms and he lets out a soft sigh.

“this is guizhong, my first wife,” he explains, sitting down on the stone bench by the entrance. crystalflies flutter around your heads, their typically skittish nature calmed by the presence of the statue. “forgive me if this is too strong, but i brought you here for a chance to meet her.”

“she’s beautiful,” you state, glancing from the statue to look at zhongli. he looks worried, as if he’s afraid you’ll lash out at him for such a gesture. “thank you.”

“‘thank you’?” zhongli echoes, confused. you smile at him.

“if she is important to you, she is important to me,” you give the hand that still holds yours a reassuring squeeze, and zhongli gives you a smile, a genuine smile, his expression painted with relief and gratitude towards your statement. “would you like to tell me about her?”

zhongli parts his lips, lets out a soft chuckle, clearly having worked himself up over how this conversation would go. “guizhong lived many millenia ago and was known as the goddess of dust…” he begins, and unlike certain conversations prior, you listen attentively to his words, the outside world is forgotten to the two of you as zhongli tells you all about the first empress of liyue.

---

zhongli takes you to his favorite restaurant in liyue harbor that evening. the typically bustling patio is devoid of any other people, aside from fellow workers. zhongli had first explained, when you sat down, that normally he doesn’t mind eating amongst his constituents and typically prefers to do so, but wished to focus solely on you this evening. you had stammered profusely upon him saying this and he simply gave you an innocent smile, but zhongli’s eyes revealed that he knew of the effect he had on you.

tonight was a special night in liyue. the castle grounds had opened for one of the biggest festivals, the yearly lantern festival, and zhongli had chosen to spend it with you in seclusion. he loved his people, but always had been a reclusive god, typically only appearing to most citizens at the rite of descension. however, he did have his moments, such as now, where he traversed amongst the common folk, while still maintaining an aura of distance. he always felt a disconnect from his people, saying they preferred to view him as a holy figure rather than a true emperor. you never failed to notice the glint of longing in his eyes when he spoke of the idea of being able to truly fit in with humanity.

but those thoughts had been cast away for a quiet evening as the two of you placed your orders, with zhongli ordering half the menu. you have yet to try most liyuean cuisine, what’s a better time than now? he had said upon your confusion. zhongli’s rationale was an impregnable defense.

zhongli smiles at you, his brilliant white teeth glinting in the soft light of the restaurant’s festive lanterns. as the two of you wait for your food, he takes your hand, resting on the table, and interlaces your fingers. your eyes widen briefly, but you give his hand a light, reassuring squeeze in return.

“you look beautiful tonight,” he says, gesturing to the traditional festival garments you had adorned yourself in. you had asked the liyuean royal stylist if she had any liyuean hanfu for you to wear and she had clapped her hands excitedly and told you she had been waiting for you to ask.

“are you saying i don’t look beautiful every day?” you tease, causing zhongli’s eyes to widen and eyebrows to raise. he immediately began to dispute your claim, but your sweetened laughter caused his argument to fall short as he smiled at your amusement, even if it had been at his expense.

“oh!” zhongli exclaimed after your laughter had died down. “i have something for you.” the idea of receiving another gift, after zhongli had taken the time to reserve the restaurant and spend the day with you, caused yet another wave of heat to rise to your face, something that seemed to be a frequent occurrence as you spent time with him. zhongli’s non-occupied gently slides a ring box across the table, and, for a split second, a brief flash of lightheadedness crosses over you, but you remain heavy. oh my archons.

your hand detangles itself from his and cradles the box as if its made of the most fragile materials, before carefully opening it. a gasp escapes your lips upon seeing the ring inside. crafted of a brilliant cut of noctilucuous jade, the ring is a long, winding ring that wraps around the finger several times and is in the shape of a dragon, two small, cor lapis eyes embedded on its head.

“this is your exuvia, no?” you ask, looking up at zhongli. “it’s magnificent. thank you” upon your words, zhongli looks away, bashful as he nods and softly smiles in response.

“i am aware that upon signing the wedding contract, rings are a customary exchange in sumeru, even if they are not a liyuean tradition,” zhongli confesses and you feel your heart melt a bit at his consideration for your homeland’s culture. “additionally…” he trails off, his cheeks flushing as he sees you situate the gift on your ring finger and gaze at it admirably.

“hmm?” you ask, glancing up upon realizing he trailed off. a nervous look passes over his eyes and you smile encouragingly.

“it’s also a… public display of our contract, to show that my heart is solely within your possession,” zhongli admits, his words soft. his hand fumbles for yours, returning to the interlocked nature they held earlier in your conversation. rather than looking away, however, zhongli gazes upon you with an intensity in his eyes that you’ve had yet to see. his eyes lock on yours and you are reminded, for the first time, that this man is a god of war. a ferocious honesty dances within the honeyed depths, imploring you to recognize the veracity of his words.

“your heart?” you echo, for rex lapis is a god of war, but you are no longer afraid of bloodshed.

“ah,” he breathes, “perhaps i have not elaborated enough. i am in love with you, my empress. the luminosity of your eyes outshine even the most radiant of geoculi, your intellect and ceaseless conviction in improving your wisdom lays even the most studious of scholars to shame, your heart fueled with the golden blood of the greatest of immortals, the kind whom dedicate their lives to those who do not have the luxury of forever, unlike the-” zhongli’s words are harshly interrupted as you stand up, fueled by an adrenaline rush. you rip your hand out of his and the emperor fears that he may have overstepped boundaries, having been too intense with his words and affections for you.

you assuage his panic as you swiftly move around the table that separates the two of you and cup his face in your hands, bending over to meld your lips upon his. the archon responds nearly immediately, his hand wrapping around your waist, ushering you to rest upon his lap, rather than be forced to lean over. your lips part and the archon deepens the kiss, his free hand reaching up to cradle your head, gently brushing against your hair, treating you as if you’re made of fine china.

when the two of you finally part, zhongli looks at you with an expression of fondness and adoration. you make a move to stand up, but zhongli’s arm tightens around your waist.

“stay,” he murmurs, his voice a low rumble in your ear. “please.” his grip loosens, allowing you to make your escape if you wish, but instead you sit sideways on his lap, leaning in to rest your shoulder upon his chest, your head nestling into where his shoulder meets his neck. your hand once again interlaces with his free one and you feel his thumb swirl the ring around on your finger. as you look down at your hands, zhongli nudges you ever so slightly.

“look,” zhongly whispers, his lips upon your ear. you have to prevent yourself from shivering in response to the low vibrations. “the first lantern, lit for the empress.” “is that a tradition?” you ask, surprised as you watch the first lantern fly high into the night sky above you. zhongli chuckles.

“i can see to it that such an action becomes a festival tradition, if you’d like,” zhongli offers sincerely and you give an airy giggle in response.

the night continues on and as you’re about to fall asleep to the sound of zhongli explaining the history of the liyuean lantern festival and the vibrations produced from his chest, the two of you are forced to part as the servers bring out your food. you sheepishly move back to your own seat, embarrassed to be caught in such a compromising, intimate position. however, zhongli looks the opposite, sending an unabashedly smug grin in your direction. as the geo archon tells you about each dish and their origins, your heart melts at the idea of realizing that you’ll spend forever with this man, waking up at each other’s side every day. upon this revelation, a question pops into your mind.

“zhongli,” you begin, making sure to tone your words with one of innocent inquisition, not accusation. “of every being in teyvat, you chose me. you’re the geo archon and emperor of the most economically prosperous nation, you could’ve had anyone. what made you agree to marry me?”

you await zhongli’s answer while munching on another jade parcel, your favorite dish of the night.

“oh,” zhongli responds, a bit startled that you asked such a question. “i was enthralled by your work published within the sumeru arcademia. your work on the historical and economic analysis on the inazuman tea industry was quite fascinating.”

you pause for a brief moment, before an uncharacteristic, raucous laughter escapes your lips. upon this, zhongli looks at you sheepishly and a bit confused.

“is such a thing peculiar to do?” he inquires, causing a break in your laughter to reassure him.

“yes, absolutely,” you confirm to your lover. “but i absolutely adore such a notion! tell me, what was about my financial prose that made you desire to bed me?”

upon your words, zhongli flushes a deep shade of scarlet, darker than what you’ve seen before. you decide it’s your new favorite color.

---

the date of your wedding arrives and your emotions are a far cry from the ones you experienced when you first stepped foot in the liyuean royal palace. the emperor, known to some as the fearsome god of war, to others as the strict morax, god of contracts, is now known to you by the sweet name of zhongli, a name reserved for you and you alone. rather than relishing in the bloodlust of the battlefield as he once did when he was much younger, rex lapis now desires your companionship and velvet touch.

when he was a much younger archon, he had not told the woman he loved his true emotions until it was too late. while they had ruled together, they had remained nothing more than friends due to his hestiance. but now, zhongli knew what he desired and was determined to let you know his affections before it was too late.

as you step foot into the palace chapel, all eyes are on you, but the only ones you care about are those of your lover, zhongli. you float down the aisle, captivating all onlookers in an outfit that fuses both the sumerian fashion of your past and the liyuean styles of your future. at the end of the aisle awaits your emperor, your lover, your husband, and the two of you will combine your two eternities into one. together, you will sign an eternal contract with the god of contracts, your first one with such a deity, yet your most important one.

with this thought in mind, you smile at your lover as you meet him at the altar, taking his hands in yours. with locked eyes, the two of you grin, ready to sign the contract of forever.

#i got carried away this was supposed to be just a scenario but emperor!zhongli has my heart #genshin impact x reader #zhongli x reader #genshin impact zhongli #zhongli #genshin impact #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact fluff #*zhongli #*writing #*fic #*50 follower celebration

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shepherds-of-haven · 3 years

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How involved would the ro’s be in the planning of their wedding to the mc? Who takes a backseat and lets the mc decide every aspect of the wedding and who wants a say?

Hmmm, good question!

Blade: I think he'd want to be involved in every major decision, but not necessarily in control. Like, he's fairly laidback when it comes to wedding stuff--he just wants to be married to MC--so the details don't matter as much to him. But if MC is picking a location, he'd like to be asked, or given a choice between their favorite two, or he'd like some input of his own beforehand so they can come to a decision together, although most of the time he'd defer to MC by the end anyway; but a unilateral takeover of all planning wouldn't work for him!

Trouble: I think he'd be a mix of laidback and excited; I think he'd be fine going along with pretty much anything MC wanted if they were really determined to do and decide everything themselves, but I think his true preference would either be doing it all together (picking out flowers or looking at venues together) or they would divide duties up equally and sort of surprise each other: like Trouble is in charge of the music, the food, and the bachelor party, MC is in charge of the venue and the ceremony, etc.!

Tallys: I think, if MC was more laidback and didn't much care about the details, Tallys would like to be the one calling the shots. At most, they would be doing everything together and actively being equal partners; she didn't think she cared much about weddings, but she's definitely not one to take a backseat for something like that, so she'd definitely want to be bringing her share of ideas and decisions to the table and wouldn't like it if the scales didn't feel balanced!

Shery: she's been planning her wedding since she was young, so she'd want to be heavily involved in the planning or would happily do absolutely everything, down to the last detail, if MC wanted her to. She'd want MC's input, of course, and it would definitely be more fun if they could do all that stuff together, but if MC was just like "eh, you do whatever you want" Shery would very happily take the reins without complaint. Or she'd happily compromise and decide everything equally, either one!

Riel: lol, control freak Riel is definitely not going to take a backseat during the planning of his own wedding... This is when his neurotic, demanding, perfectionist side really comes out, so MC had better buckle in! Because of his job, Riel is surprisingly civil and generally understanding when it comes to executing planning and stuff--he's not one of those bridezillas (husbandzillas?) who are throwing fits and screaming about how he ordered these streamers in CREAM, not OFF-WHITE--but he is pretty exacting. Like, he will make the workers do the streamers all over again until they're at exact, perfect angles. He just won't yell about it.

Chase: for the love of god, do not put him in charge of wedding stuff because that man is incapable of doing anything without intentionally introducing an element of chaos to the event. Like, releasing pigeons?? fuck no, they're going to shit everywhere!! (he didn't realize that pigeons are also different from doves) what about butterflies?? no, MC deserves better than some shitty bugs!! what about ancient younian silk worms that spray silk when they pop out like SILLY STRING--

Anyway, he's pretty chill and is happy to let MC call all the shots, but if he does get involved and given any free reign at all, madness is going to ensue at that wedding

Red: he'd definitely like a say in the planning and would definitely approach it as a 50/50 partners thing! He wouldn't like being relegated to the backseat, but he also wouldn't want to call all the shots on his own either! He'd regard the whole thing as a fun learning process that he'd want to do with MC together!

Ayla: eh, she doesn't really care, lol. If MC wants to take the helm, she'd very happily let them do so and just chill; but if MC wanted her to be equally involved, she'd muster her resolve and jump right in with them, even though she'd be somewhat confused (and overly frugal) the whole time. 200 deucalions just so the guests can have cushions on their seats?? let them sit on the wood, their asses are the cushions!!

Briony: she’d definitely be gung-ho and say she wanted to be the one in charge of planning and taking care of all the details, but she’d quickly find herself overwhelmed and broken down in tears! 😅Ideally, it would be a 50/50 split between her and MC, with both of them handling the decision-making and research together, but I could totally see her charging into it headfirst like “you don’t have to worry about a thing MC! I’ve got this! 😤💪” and then regretting her life choices shortly after...

Lavinet: she’s in charge. Sorry anyone who wanted to be the wedding planner, but you presumably knew what you were getting into when you married Lavinet... she’s in charge. she’ll give you like token tasks and decisions to feel like you’re equally contributed, but let’s be real. if it came down to a disagreement. who do you think would win in the end? she’s in the driver’s seat and she literally would not have it any other way...

#Shepherds of Haven #wedding #wedding planning #marriage #romance options #fluff

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the-last-kenobi · 3 years

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*kciks down door* ReQuEsTs?!??! uh, 18. “Is it all right if I hug you?” with Obi-wan and character of your choice (please, this boy needs a hug so bad)

Hugs!!!! What an excellent ask.

Took me forever to pick a character though. I came this close to writing multiple hugs throughout the years but it would’ve been very long...

It’s still long. Whoops.

Note: I skipped the actual sentence and instead went for ✨vibes only✨

(From this various prompts list.)

Obi-Wan is twenty-three standard years old, very nearly twenty-four.

It is a delightful stage of life. (It’s awful.)

He’s growing in independence, so close to Knighthood he can almost taste it. (Is he? Nobody seems to have a clear opinion.)

He’s receiving more and more solo assignments, and on his missions with Master Jinn, the older Jedi makes an effort to at least await the Padawan’s input before making a decision, sometimes even deferring to Obi-Wan’s word. (Only in public, though, is there a sense of equality. Behind the scenes, Obi-Wan is still very much the learner.)

He longs to be free. (He doesn’t want to be alone.)

The confusing clash of thoughts and emotions is, in and of itself, a creator of more clashing emotions, all resulting in a bundle of self-doubt that crouches near his heart, like a greedy bird, picking away at his strength and certainty when he most needs it.

Doesn’t your doubt show you that you’re truly not ready? the pestering creature asks.

Doesn’t your longing for freedom prove you don’t deserve it? it says, tapping against the veins of ice and fear that lie right against the heat of his heart.

Doesn’t your need to be reassured tell you that you’re too hesitant, too weak to be alone?

His desire to fly is wrong. His desire to be sheltered, even more so.

Both together, coexisting in his heart and mind, could quite possibly mean the one thing he had been dreading for over a decade now, the thing older Jedi, real Jedi, had put into words and addressed to his face when he was only twelve, only eleven, only ten.

You are too emotional, they said.

You are overeager, they said.

You are not destined to be a Jedi, Qui-Gon had told him. I will not train you.

He had, in the end, and Obi-Wan has been wondering in the depths of his heart for all these years of it had not been a dreadful mistake. As much as the Force sings in his ears Jedi, Jedi, Jedi, endure, Jedi, Jedi, it felt like everything he touched, everything tangible, argues back failure, weak, selfish, foolish, unwanted, not fit.

Obi-Wan is twenty-three, almost twenty-four, and he is years into adulthood and light years away from proving that he’s capable of handling it.

When will he be Knighted?

Nobody seems to be expecting it from him.

Do they know, he wonders, have they known since the beginning that I am doomed to fail? Has this all been a gracious attempt, a thank you for my actions on Bandomeer, and they have drawn this out and out and out as long as they can?

How much longer can this go on?

Still, there are moments when he is at peace, when Obi-Wan is sure. When he meditates, when he accomplishes something new, when he walks away from an assignment feeling unashamed when he translates his memories into a tidy mission report.

When he has one of his long talks with Master Yoda, or Master Windu, who despite their revered status have taken to talking to him more like a friend than a child, outside of the Council chambers.

When he remembers the Force whispering inside, Jedi Jedi Jedi Jedi, endure, Jedi...

And then, on one of the missions assigned to both himself and his Master - still the overwhelming majority of his assignments - he and Qui-Gon are separated during a violent uprising.

There are bodies in the streets and buildings are aflame; children weep over the bodies of their parents and parents cradle the bodies of their children and scream as if the sound is their only companion left in the world. The standing government has a point, the rebellion has a point, the civilians caught in the crossfire don’t say which point they agree with because they’re too busy screaming and perishing, and Qui-Gon is simply gone.

Obi-Wan, faced with the threat of further bloodshed right here and right now even as the air is still clogged with ash and flame and as another body topples from a rooftop in front of his feet, raises his hand in surrender and calmly proposes a truce, offering himself as a legal hostage against the government that brought the Jedi here.

Obi-Wan is led away with his hands bound behind his back and his lightsaber taken away, and though his face is calm, the furrow between is brow speaks of his inner turmoil, which sounds like tapping against the cracks in his heart and Qui-Gon, where is Master Qui-Gon, I don’t know what I’m doing, if I fail more people will die, if I fail it will be my fault, is this taking charge or stepping aside, am I a leader or a victim?

He spends not days, not weeks, but three standard months as a hostage. He spends a terrible amount of time sitting in a cell and pondering his uselessness, the gravity of his foolishness, but every time someone opens the door and escorts him out to hold parley with the leaders of the rebellion and the ministry of the planet, he holds his head high, tempers his fear, and speaks to them with all he has.

Which is honesty. Humility.

You don’t know what to do, he says. Neither do I.

We all know we must do something. No matter how much blood you spill and how much earth you scorch you will eventually come back here to this table to have this same discussion until either both of you are broken beyond belief or one of you has been crushed, and half your planet’s voice stolen away. And you will have sacrificed two of the Republic’s Jedi along the way, a black mark against whichever victor is left standing.

Or, he says, we choose to pass over the violence and talk here and now, and choose this again and again and again. You have already had your fighting. Your people are already hoping for negotiation.

Are you here for their sakes or to kill them for show?

He does not use these exact words.

He sews them into his brief speeches, hammers in the point sharply when he must, weaves the common thread over and over again.

He knows they fight while he is locked away.

But he believes, from the growing respect in the eyes of these people who hold him both by his and against his will, that he is making a difference. He must be.

And Obi-Wan is twenty-three, very very nearly twenty-four, when he finally walks free to witness the signing of a treaty like this planet has never had before, to witness the formation of a new government, and he discovers not ashes and mass graves when he sees daylight for the first time in three months — but instead, a city and a planet marred only by scattered battlefields, and marked more clearly by the way its people have fought to keep it clean, to keep it safe.

Children race through the streets, unafraid, because they have had real shelter during the war. It has not entered their homes since that first terrible day.

Neighbors from opposing sides of this fight and friends who staked no claim in this war mingle freely. Their smiles are a little hesitant, but they are there.

The dead are all honored equally.

It is leaps and bounds, it is a civilization that propelled itself through years of struggle in three months, and Obi-Wan is awed by them.

He knows it cannot be this way everywhere.

He knows that there will be wars where no one wants to surrender, or where one side will be so certain of their point of view that they would rather raise hell than cease, and he knows there will be people who resist them.

But today it is real.

Obi-Wan looks at his pale and clammy hands, the marks around his wrists where he was so often bound, and feels the way his limbs shake from months of too little sunlight, not quite enough food, and more than his share of fear and doubt and self-recrimination.

As he smiles for a camera that will record this moment forever, he glimpses Qui-Gon amongst the crowd.

Someone explains to him, when he asks, that his Master had been injured during the uprising and spent the first three weeks of Obi-Wan’s captivity in convalescence. The remaining time, he has spent on the sidelines, forced there by his Padawan’s actions. With Obi-Wan a willing hostage, playing negotiator and leverage both, Qui-Gon had no role except to mingle with the people, offer them comfort and aid.

Something Obi-Wan knows his Master loved, but — he had still stolen his Master’s role.

He had thrown himself into a stupid, foolish situation, and how many times had Qui-Gon teased him about playing damsel in distress? And here he has gone and surrendered of his own accord. What would Qui-Gon have done if Obi-Wan had led them all to ruin?

Obi-Wan slowly loses his confidence, his relief, his silver tongue, as the press and the people recede, and he and his Master walk to a room that has been prepared for both of them, as honored guests by this new government.

Qui-Gon says nothing to him.

They walk in silence for twelve minutes.

And then, as soon as the door has shut behind them, Obi-Wan finds himself pulled into a fierce embrace, one of his Master’s hands buried in his hair, Qui-Gon’s chin resting atop his head.

Obi-Wan hesitates.

Does his Master think him a child?

Perhaps Qui-Gon senses his thoughts, because the man pulls away briefly, still holding his Padawan by the shoulders, as if unwilling to let him go completely, else he vanish like smoke.

“Padawan,” Qui-Gon says, and his voice is loud and strong and brimming with warmth that washes over Obi-Wan like sunlight, like water, like an embrace. “Well done, my Padawan.”

And then he is pulled again into Qui-Gon’s comforting arms, and Obi-Wan breathes in and gives in, folding against his teacher like a child, and if a few tears stain Qui-Gon’s robes or drop into Obi-Wan’s hair, neither of them speaks of it.

Obi-Wan lets his Master hold him, lets go of fear and pride and doubt, and finds that he is safe.

#star wars #my writing #star wars fic #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #qui gon and obi wan #master & padawan #padawan obi wan #look they are just a slightly repressed and off kilter #father and son #that is all #hugs #hugs!!!#more hugs needed #tw blood #tw death #tw bomb #tw war #tw child death

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imasimpforshanks · 3 years

Note

Hi there!

I hope you're doing great. Ehm... May I requests Law for either the romantic or the Angst alphabet? I just can't decide that and would like you to choose from it.

I'm really looking forward to your work. Other than that have a nice day/eve. ♡

Fluff Alphabet - Trafalgar Law

a/n: hi there!!! thank you for requesting and for your kind words 💓 I chose the fluff alphabet because our man has suffered enough and I couldn’t handle writing out angst for him 🙃 ANWAYSSSS pls enjoy x

A-Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

During the little free time he has, Law loves to spend it with you doing anything lowkey. He’s usually pretty exhausted from everything going on, so taking some time to wind down and read a good book with you tucked him next to him reading you’re a book of your own is his ideal way to spend time with you.

That being said, if you are a person who prefers to do something active, Law won’t say no to that (so long as it’s not Luffy level active).

B-Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

Law admires your way of thinking. You always seem to bring a fresh, unique perspective and now he can’t help but ask for your input on everything. This is also what he finds the most beautiful about you. He’s never been one to care that much about what is on the outside. To Law, it’s what is on the inside that counts (who knew law was so cliché;)). Your mind and the way it works is a wonder to behold and Law counts himself very lucky that he is the one that gets to see you in action the most.

C-Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

Law takes a very pragmatic approach when it comes to comforting his s/o. He’s a doctor, so its only natural for him to think in this way. He asks you directly what’s wrong and how he could help – it’s the most logical thing to do and the quickest way to ensure you are feeling comforted.

D-Dreams (how do they picture the future with their s/o?)

In the future Law wants to live a simple, quiet life with you. Somewhere secluded and far away from all the noise and chaos of the world. You’ll live in a nice house (nothing too fancy), with a child or two running around acting out their parents’ infamous pirate adventures.

E-Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?)

He tends to take the more dominant role in the relationship. For the sake of your safety and his sanity, he prefers to be the one to take charge with you following his lead. But, he does still value your input in almost all decisions.

F-Fight (would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?)

Your fights tend to be pretty short lived resulting in forgiveness and apologies from both sides relatively quickly. He really doesn’t like to stay mad at you for too long – he’d much rather have you two on the same page.

Most fights are caused by stress and concerns of health and safety, so Law does a lot of eye rolling and using his title as a ‘doctor’ as justification that he knows what he’s doing so you just need to chill – but like I said these fights are very short lived.

G-Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

Before he met you, Law’s life was very dull. Yes, he has his fair share of adventures and fun with his crew, but there was something missing from his life. But then you came along, bringing a little more colour into his life. Instead of being exhausted and tense from dealing with everything alone, you forced your way in and pried him open, allowing him to share his burdens. For that, Law is eternally grateful.

H-Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

Initially, Law tried to hide quite a lot. He was very selective about the information he shared with you. It’s not that he didn’t trust you, he just struggled to share things with others – his past has made him very closed off. But, before he knew it you managed to weasel your way in, and soon he found himself confiding in you about everything. The only time he ever keeps a secret is if knowing it will jeopardize your safety.

I-Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

I touched on this a little bit before, but you were able to teach Law the relief and comfort that comes with trusting and relying on others. Because of you, he was able to learn that its important to not deal with everything on your own.

J-Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?).

It’s not often that Law gets jealous. It’s an ugly emotion, plus he feels no need to be jealous since he trust you with his whole heart. However, if he was to get jealous, he is definitely the quiet jealous type. His fists clench a little tighter, his frown deepens ever so slightly, and he just doesn’t speak. He doesn’t ignore you though, rather he chooses to curt replies until he eventually gets over it or if it’s really bothering him he may bring it up with you.

K-Kisses (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?).

He is a very inexperienced kisser, not having (or wanting) many romantic relationships in his past. Even so, he’s surprisingly not horrible (but not great either) at kissing. Maybe it has something to do with his deep knowledge and understanding of the way the human body works. Unfortunately, during your first kiss he tried to rely a little too much on his ‘knowledge’ rather than melting in to it. It wasn’t a horrible first kiss, it just felt a little stiff. The desire was there, but it was as if he were afraid to give in to the emotions he was feeling and reading your signals. However, after a little communication and guidance he’s now an expert.

L-Love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

It was in the heat of the moment after you had done something completely and utterly stupid, that almost cost you your life. He wasn’t intending on doing it right then and there, in fact he actually had a whole plan of how and when he was going to tell you how he felt. But seeing you lying in the infirmary after having to operate on you was more than he could handle and before he knew it the words just slipped out.

M-Marriage (do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?)

Marriage is indeed something Law wants. You wouldn’t expect it but after you two officially got together, it wasn’t more than a month before Law started thinking about marriage. He knows now isn’t the time for marriage, but it’s definitely in his plans for the next few years or so.

His proposal is going to be low key. The two of you would have to be alone with no other people around – maybe while you two are lying in bed one night, he just pops the question. And as with the proposal, your wedding would also be low key. No big party or ceremony, just you two and the people closest to you (bepo definitely officiates).

N-Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?)

‘Babe’ or your name are his usual choices for when you are around other people. But occasionally when he’s on the verge of falling asleep he’ll let out a yawn followed by a sleepy “babyyyy”.

O-On cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

When Law is in love he tends to keep his cool and collected façade. But on the inside he’s a babbling, nervous mess. He doesn’t do anything particularly out of the ordinary other than making a bit more of an attempt at conversing with you. He loves hearing you talk and rambling on about things you’re passionate about so he does try to find any excuse to talk to you.

P-PDA (are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?)

PDA is something Law isn’t the biggest fan of. He’ll stand next to you and be in close proximity while sharing a few glances, but other than that he won’t engage in PDA. Law considers that sort of thing to be private and intimate so he likes to keep it between the two of you. Occasionally, if you are feeling a little extra needy he may give in to a quick hug or forehead kiss.

Q-Quirk (some random ability they have that is beneficial in a relationship?)

It may not come as that much of a surprise but, Law can make one hell of a cup of coffee (actually any hot drink really). His perfect brew definitely comes in handy.

R-Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

Oh boy, he is way more romantic than anyone would ever realize. He loves doing little things for you just to see that sweet smile on your face. It makes his heart swell with happiness.

S-Support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals do they believe in them?)

Rather than being the consistently positive support, Law provides you with constructive criticism and things that can actively help you achieve your goals. He’s a realist, so doesn’t think only saying “you can do it” or “it’s only a minor setback” is the way to go. He still says those things because they are true – Law honestly believes you can do whatever you set your mind to, however, constructive criticism is needed in addition to this.

The key take away here is: YES. Law believes you can achieve all your hopes and dreams.

T-Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship or do they prefer certain routine?)

Law needs routine, especially in your relationship. You have continued doing the same things in your relationship since you first got together because it works. Why would he want to change what works? It’s safe, it’s familiar, and it’s comfortable.

That being said, he’s not opposed to the idea of spicing things up. If you ever felt like trying something new (or even if he starts to feel bored about something), he would be open to the idea. Who knows, maybe the new thing you try could even become a part of your routine.

U-Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

It’s no surprise that he is very adept at reading people, he’s on to it and has exceptional observation skills. He uses these skills with you as well.

He knows what it’s like to be consumed by emotions (in fact he knows that too well), and while with most, he’s the type to keep his emotions hidden, when it comes to you he shares his emotions to help you realize that he also knows how it feels and that you are not alone.

V-Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is its worth in comparison to other things in their life?).

Your relationship is a top priority in his life. He’s lost everyone he ever cares about (other than his crew) and there is no way he is going to lose you too. The only thing that may potentially rival your relationship is his goal of taking revenge on Doflamingo.

W-Wild card (a random fluff headcanon?)

There’s nothing he loves more than you running your hands through his hair while his head is on your chest or stomach. He automatically leans into your hand every time. He feels the safest in this position.

X-XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

Like I said before, he is affectionate but it’s mainly when the two of you are alone. Those displays of affection are for the two of you and no one else. But, when the two of you are alone he absolutely loves cuddles (especially lying with his head on your lap or chest).

Y- Yearning (how will they cope when they are missing their partner?)

He gets stressed when you’re not around for more than one reason. Firstly, you can’t help to calm him down and force him to take a breather. Secondly, he’s constantly worried about your safety and wellbeing.

Honestly, the only way he copes with it is by stressing (I know it’s not coping at all but I mean that’s Law for you LMAO).

Z-Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

Law would put his life on the line for your relationship. He doesn’t want to lose someone he cares about – not again. He can’t handle that sort of pain, so if it was required of him, he would gladly give his life.

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece headcanons #one piece imagines #trafalgar law #trafalgar d law x reader #fluff alphabet #one piece alphabet

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lazyliars · 3 years

Text

Tubbo’s current trajectory is a completely sensible leap from where he was left in the aftermath of Doomsday.

Tubbo made New L’manberg to be an open, safe place, welcoming to all - no walls, built with wood, and a heart on the flag, just in case it wasn’t clear enough. (To be fair, Ghostbur did most of the building, but it was under Tubbo’s administration and with his clear approval, so for the sake of this analysis I’m counting it as being made close to Tubbo’s original vision.)

New L’manberg wasn’t perfect, but Tubbo’s vision for it was very close to what Snowchester is now, minus the nukes. Even the building scheme is similar.

Tubbo’s original idea for the governing forces of New L’manberg were an extremely equal one; the first thing he did when the dust had settled over the first explosion of L’manberg, was to assure Quackity that he would have a say in the future of L’manberg - same with Fundy. He also asked Philza to be a guiding force of earthly wisdom. He even granted Karl a token position - even after he had just fought against Pogtopia. Tubbo took every precaution to make sure he would not be a dictator.

Tubbo didn’t want to have control over the others, and tried to make sure decisions were made by the group and not just by his whims. Unfortunately, the pendulum would end up swinging too far the other way, and his own input ended up getting shunted aside, and resulting feelings of frustration would put more and more tension on Tubbo -- until he snapped, and exiled Tommy against the wishes of the cabinet.

After this, Tubbo clearly regrets going against his advisors, even if he still believed at that point that exile was the best choice. He steps back in most of the decision making.

The cabinet, mainly Quackity, took over controlling the flow of momentum. (Fundy was also culpable, but to a lesser degree - he spent more time supporting the other two, in line with his characterization; “seeking approval from an authority figure”) Quackity, compelled by the desire to hold control in a world filled with people who could kill them all on a whim, took to creating the butcher army. This is completely in line with his character, too; Quackity despises tyranny, a trait he’s had since before the election, when he opposed Wilbur’s one-party system.

(It’s ironic, then, that he finds himself as Techno’s foil in a lot ways - they both hate Tyranny, and see it most strongly in each other. Techno, the Tyranny of Government, rulers who control their citizens through ill-gotten power, exacting laws and punishing any who stand to challenge them. Quackity, the Tyranny of The Powerful, of individuals who believe that only the strong are worthy of walking in the light, while the weak are left to struggle and scrap in the darkness.

But that’s a topic for another day.)

It’s worth pointing out that when everyone started leaving, Tubbo did not try to stop them. Quackity with Mexican L’manberg/El Rapids, Fundy with Dry Waters, and Philza only owning property in New L’manberg.

I truly believe that this is the best example of how Tubbo was never Schlatt. Schlatt would have tried to stop them - violently, or manipulatively, or would have lashed out. Tubbo just sadly watched them all leave him, and earnestly wished them the best.

The only time he ever tried to stop someone leaving was with Philza’s house arrest (which Tubbo was comically bad at. Like, looney toons levels of bad, goddamn) and that was more a move of national defense, as Phil was known to be working with Techno at that point. They also didn’t try very hard, or at all really, to catch him after he escaped.

^^^And all of the above was Quackity’s initiative. Tubbo cannot escape all of the blame for trying to execute Techno without trial, but it wasn’t his idea, and he was originally against it (to the point of threatening to demote Quackity iirc). He only gave in after making the snap decision to Exile Tommy, a decision made under extreme duress, with the threat of another pitched war looming over them like the sword of damocles, but one made against the advice of his cabinet, and one that netted him a lot of comparison to Schlatt.

Tubbo did his best with New L’manberg, and it blew up in his face. Every decision he made was under the blazing eyes of Dream, and every decision he delegated was into the hands of someone who’s ideals were steeped in a power grab.

So. A nation built to be open, peaceful, and welcoming to anyone. A cabinet full of strong-willed individuals who had their own desires and machinations to contend with. A god of chaos and destruction with his eyes set on this fledgling nation. And a first time leader fresh off the failures of the last two.

I’m not gonna say the line.

New L’manberg started conflicts with no means to defend itself against the repercussions; a conflict of interest between peace and control.

Tubbo learned from his mistakes, clearly, when he made Snowchester.

Tubbo started innocently, like he did with New L’manberg. A new place, a safe place, hidden away from conflict and violence. Supposedly safe from Technoblade, as it would have no standing leaders to become to Tyrants. It would be a peaceful getaway from the Dream SMP, and from the memory of his failures.

But Tubbo couldn’t forget - not with the final battle for the discs hanging over them. While Snowchester didn’t come into play in the conflict with Dream much, these plot-points intersect in meaningful ways, most notably in how Tubbo was ready to die for Tommy with zero hesitation, and how he now wants Tommy to come live in Snowchester more than ever.

Tubbo is terrified of losing what he cares about far more than he is of dying. Sacrificing himself for Tommy, or for the discs, it means more to him than living. But he knows that even his life wouldn’t be payment enough for the things he loves.

Sacrifice, giving, preservation. These don’t matter to gods.

Paranoia and fatalism, a feeling that something would come along and crush this new home, too. This is what fueled Project Dreamcatcher.

Tubbo was taught a lesson very effectively when Techno and Phil destroyed New L’manberg, but it wasn’t one they meant to teach. They meant to teach that power corrupts, that hierarchy is cruel, that cruelty will breed it’s own downfall.

What they taught instead was that Might Makes Right. They taught the strong will crush the weak. They taught that to build with wood, you must be able to stop the fire before it starts.

So Tubbo has taken those lessons to heart and decided that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure - there wont be another war because the next war will be the last war.

Nuclear weaponry is self destructive - it’s poison to the land, to the people, to even those it is not aimed at. It’s not preservation. It’s a threat of taking, taking life and land and everything else too. It is the promise of an eye for an eye. Of mutually assured destruction.

Tubbo will protect what he cares about.

Or nobody will care about anything, ever again.

#Tubbo #Dream SMP #Technoblade #Quackity #dream smp analysis #Lazytext #long post #i got these asks like a week ago im so sorry it took so long to respond anon(s?)#idk if ur one person or two with similar writing

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thiswaycomessomethingwicked · 3 years

Note

Was Napoleon a tyrant? I don't necessarily think he was: at least, I believe he was a better alternative to the absolute monarchs he was fighting. But there are those who disagree. What are your thoughts on the subject?

This is a can of worms to be sure.

I mean....how are we defining the word tyrant? All monarchs are tyrants to someone. Monarchy, by its very nature, is tyrannical in one way, shape, or form, no matter who is at its head. Even in the more neutered forms we see now days with the British. The Queen still exerts a ridiculous amount of power, all things considered.

Napoleon was no better or worse than any other monarch in Europe at that time. Indeed, better than some, worse than others. Because you know, he was human!

This got VERY long. SO LONG. Choice excerpts from below the cut:

"'Power was encroaching with large strides behind the words order and stability,' as Thibaudeau put it."

"(And I suspect he was concerned about seeming too eager for power/setting up a monarchical system. Fouche: You're about as subtle as a canon going off right next door. Napoleon: Hush.)"

"Theeeeeen the little bastard (affectionate) became Emperor."

"Napoleon Vs. Jeff Bezos: fight! fight! fight! (I'm putting my money on Napoleon.)"

tl;dr: a more or less benevolent emperor who had his faults and who was intimately aware, for better or worse, more than most monarchs, that the head is only tenuously attached to the body. (Skim to the bottom for my thoughts on the personal things i.e. how I interpret Napoleon's actions and brain)

But, more seriously, as with most absolute statements, I am opposed to calling him a tyrant because it is reductive and serves no purpose except to make broad sweeping political statements that I believe are far more about the person making the statement exemplifying their modern political, republican position (as in, actual republican-I-support-the-existence-of-republics not the gop) rather than expressing any sort of truth about the past. (wHaT iS tRuTh.)

For historical purposes, it can over-simplify the situation and lead to skewed interpretations of events because you're coming in with this word that has a lot of modern, 20th and 21st century baggage to it.

And, because these people are coming in with this big, bad word of tyrant as a label for Napoleon, it doesn't allow them to engage with the nuance and complexities of his reign.

Anyway.

Napoleon, as emperor, supported centralized power held in his own hands, with support from other governing bodies (senate, council of state etc.). However, Napoleon had a lot of influence in the structuring of these governing bodies and the subsequent appointments as a means to exert control over entities that would otherwise be able to act somewhat independent from him and impinge his power.

We see this consolidation of power beginning, obviously, under the consulate. 'Power was encroaching with large strides behind the words order and stability,' as Thibaudeau put it.

There was the whole theatre around the Tribunate offering to extend Napoleon's tenure as First Consul for another ten years as a means of thanks/showing gratitude for all he did for France (Fouche was like: fuck that, let's just make a statue of the guy). Napoleon played the part of Humble Servant of the Public and refused both statue and the ten year extension. (Very Julius Caesar: You all did see that on the Lupercal, I thrice presented him a kingly crown, which he did thrice refuse. Was this ambition?)

In actuality, though, he was pissed because he wanted it extended for life.

This resulted in the Council of State deciding "independently" (i.e. Napoleon wasn't present but he sure as hell influenced that Council session) to hold a plebiscite in order to ask The People two key questions: 'Should Napoleon Bonaparte be consul for life?' and 'Should he have the right to designate his successor?'

Napoleon nixed the second question saying to Cambaceres, 'The testament of Louis XIV was not respected, so why should mine be? A dead man has nothing to say.' Which is to say, he knew people would vote for him to be Consul for life, but the prospect of him choosing a successor, a la the Roman Empire, and having that choice be without input from the people and respected upon his death? Less clear.

(And, I suspect he was concerned about seeming too eager for power/setting up a monarchical system.

Fouche: You're about as subtle as a canon going off right next door.

Napoleon: Hush.)

For the Plebiscite, there were around 3.56 million votes for Yes to the question of Napoleon as consul for life and only around 8,300 for No.

The turnout rate was 60% which is uhh...impressive! (To be fair, there was no real evidence of tampering with the vote. Unlike in subsequent Plebiscites, such as the results for Do We Make Him Emperor, which were absolutely doctored. But, considering the highest turnout ever seen in the French Revolution was around 30/35%, double that is certainly something.)

Lafayette was pissed with this. He kicked up a fuss in the Senate and wrote to Napoleon saying that his 'restorative dictatorship' had been well and fine for now but has Napoleon thought about restoring liberty? and that he was certain Napoleon, of all people, wouldn't want an 'arbitrary regime' to be installed!

Napoleon: Bold of you to assume that, Lafayette.

There were, at this time, some mumblings and grumblings about tyranny from the liberals and those still wanting to continue the experiment of the French Republic, to be sure. They increased as time went on and Napoleon's power continued to consolidate.

Theeeeeen the little bastard (affectionate) became Emperor.

Lafayette: WhAt Is tHiS??

Napoleon: Look into my face and tell me honestly that you are shocked.

His government, as Consul and as Emperor, was centralized and very top-down in how it operated. Little was done without Napoleon's input.

The seemingly democratic institutions that had propped him up into power were retained and Napoleon used them as a means to facilitate his rule. As noted earlier, Napoleon had a heavy hand in appointments and the processes in place to fill various offices. Nothing was really...independent of him and his influence.

Though, in terms of Image Building of Empire, Napoleon worked hard to try and maintain the façade of impartiality as emperor. That he was head of state, sure, but all state apparatuses operated independent of him.

(Why is Napoleon's hat so big? because it is full of lies supporting the imperial image making machine.)

That said, when it came to filling those offices, Napoleon focused on merit more than anything as he wanted his governing officials to be capable, hardworking and, above all else, loyal.

(A good quote from Napoleon in one of his more Eat the Rich moments of the consulate: 'One cannot treat wealth as a title of nobility. A rich man is often a layabout without merit. A rich merchant is often only so by virtue of the art of selling expensively or stealing.'

Napoleon Vs. Jeff Bezos: fight! fight! fight!

(I'm putting my money on Napoleon.) )

This is getting really long and I feel that I've not addressed anything in a useful manner, but am I going to stop? No.

Napoleon, himself, at least in 1803, did express some conflicted views about assuming an imperial title. To Roederer he said, 'So many great things have been achieved over the past three years under the title of consul. It should be kept.'

Cambaceres said to Napoleon that upon assuming an imperial title 'your position changes and places you at odds with yourself.' No longer are you merely a public servant, an upholder of the Republic's ideals. Now you are a man wearing a crown, trying to be the upholder of the Republic's ideals.

(nb: I feel that duality is something Napoleon never fully got a handle on. He would veer strongly into authoritarian monarch then have moments of Rousseau-ian Idealism.)

Napoleon was insistent that his rule be a parliamentary monarchy (keeping the governance framework implemented in the Constitution of Year VIII, if I am not mistaken. But don't quote me on that.) and that the French were not his subjects but his people.

So, the imperial government worked thus with the Legislative process divided between four bodies:

Council of State which would draw up legislative proposals,

Tribunate which could debate on legislation but not vote on it,

a legislative body which could vote on legislation but not discuss it, and

Senate which would consider whether the proposed legislation conformed to the Constitution.

The Senate and the Legislative body could, theoretically, curtail Napoleon’s freedom/power. However, considering the fact that he was involved in the appointment process of these offices, and the general rhythm of daily governance, how much power they were able to exert over him was limited.

(This is at his height! Of course, towards the end we see a shift in that. But that's largely tied up in his military defeats and the British banging the door knocker demanding to be let in. Also they brought with them some friends. You might have heard of them? Bourbons?)

The initial terms the Senate brought to Napoleon with their offer of accepting him as a hereditary monarch included, but weren't limited to:

liberty cannot be infringed

equality cannot be jeopardized

sovereignty of the people must be maintained

the laws of the nation are inviolable

all institutions were to be free from undue imperial influence (e.g. the press)

the nation should never be put into a position where it needs to behead the head of state. Again.

Napoleon was uh. Not best pleased with this and had a new version drafted up that included acknowledgement of the sovereignty of the people, but a lot of the other things (e.g. freedom of the press) were cut out.

Yet, Napoleon maintained certain parts of the French Revolution's values which were reflected more in the 1804 Code Napoleon and other legislative and legal pieces than in the initial terms of Senatorial acceptance of his imperial title.

Some of the things enshrined in the Code that were carry-over from the Revolution include, but aren't limited to, the abolition of feudalism, equality before the law, freedom of conscience (to practice their own religion), gave fixed title to those who had bought church and émigré lands during the 1790s, and the equality of taxation was maintained (tax those aristos and the church). Also, there was affirmation of the idea of careers being "open to talent" rather than an accident of birth (as touched on above).

The Freedom of Conscience clause in the Code was a further formalization of several Articles Napoleon amended onto the Concordat in 1802. The Articles guaranteed the principle of religious toleration and made the Protestant and Jewish churches similarly subject to state authority (alongside the Catholic).

These are just a brief summary of some of the more liberal/revolution-informed aspects of Napoleon's governing.

The non-liberal ones I believe we're all pretty familiar with: suppression of the free press, roll-back of rights for women (women are for babies!), reinstatement of slavery (which he later reversed circa 1810/12-ish), top-down Emperor-has-final-word approach to ruling (Napoleon was all about Authority From Above, Trust From Below) etc. etc.

At the end of this, I would say Napoleon's empire falls into that "benevolent monarch" situation. For a given value of "benevolent." As stated at the start, he was like most other monarchs in Europe at the time. Better than some, not as great about certain things as others.

Really, it all ties back to Order and Stability.

Napoleon's assent, and his approach to strong, centralized ruling, was a result of uncertainty and constant government change over ten years of revolution alongside the growing belief, by 1803, that a republic like the Romans or Greeks was not going to happen any time soon. Not without constant warfare and the forever looming threat of a Bourbon restoration.

In addition, Napoleon was doing imperial drag. (If that makes sense.) He was dialing the notch of Emperor up to 11 - being the most emperor of all emperors. So, state control was absolute because he couldn't show any signs of weakness - either in his own body, his familial body, or the body of state. The court protocols were intense and over-the-top at times because he had to prove he was not just a second son of a parvenu lawyer from the sticks. No! he was worthy of this pomp. He was worthy of imperial majesty. He was worthy of the crown and scepter.

Napoleon was not raised to be anything other than a military officer and a middle-class head of a family (would have been a MASTER at doing Sunday Dad Puttering About the House). When he dawned the mantel of power, particularly that of empire, he had to make it up as he went along. For such a self-conscious and proud man, this was difficult. He never wanted to misstep and be embarrassed - on a personal level, political or military.

At the same time, he was reared on Rousseau and Revolution so still had those values and ideals imbedded in him, and those fears and memories. Napoleon knew as well as any Frenchman that a monarch's head is easily removable should it become necessary. Therefore, he sometimes ran roughshod over the liberty to ensure security. For better or worse, that was the choice he made.

Napoleon was a flawed leader with a complex approach to governing that was focused on a centralization of power within him while, at the same time, trying to be the Successor of the Revolution, the Roman Republic and the Roman Empire. Layers! Like an onion.

His approach as emperor really was within the realm of normal-for-the-times when compared to most other monarchs on the European stage in 1800. He also granted liberties to his people that were unheard of in other countries.

I feel like all my Napoleonic ramblings end with the same message: Dude was nuanced. Dude was complex. Dude did good things and bad things. Dude helped people and hurt people. Dude contained multitudes. Because he was simply human, at the end of the day.

ANNNNNNND we are done.

Gods bless all y'all who made it this far.

Have my favourite picture of Napoleon at Tuileries as a prize.

hmm that beautiful heavy, handed symbolism.

#napoleon #napoleon bonaparte #ask #reply #napoleonic #history #19th century #imperial myth making #napoleonic identity

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painted-crow · 3 years

Note

hey so i'm looking to figure my sorting out. i'm p sure of my secondary but honestly i've gone in circles so many times that i'd believe anything lmao

so i guess to start like. i'm fairly sure i'm an idealist, but with a twist. i care about making the world a better place-- i'm kinda infamous among my friends for being a little TOO outspoken about my opinions. on a small scale, i have strong opinions about a lot of things, but on a larger scale... idk. i don't think any one person can know what an ideal world looks like cause there really is no such thing. there are literally countless variables when it comes to implementing even small systems, countless ways to fuck it up, so i don't think i'd be choosing some grand ideal over the people i love anytime soon.

that being said, i think my idealist streak gets directed into something else most of the time. i'm very focused on understanding myself to a fault. i want to know why i do the things i do, why i believe certain things over others. when it comes to my beliefs about the world, they're strong but take it or leave it, but when it comes to myself they are not a good idea to push. i've ended relationships over not feeling like myself with them or feeling like i'm losing myself or they're pushing me to be someone i'm not. i make strong instant decisions about what the "right" thing to do is when it comes to how it impacts my perception of myself, especially with intimate relationships (i'm a lot less impulsive with things like friends and things i'm less personally involved in). i NEED to know who i am, way more than i care about any one specific person or thing. obviously i love people very deeply and would do just about anything to have both, but if i don't know who i am, if i'm not true to myself, then i have nothing. losing people happens.

the issue is, because i'm prone to doing that and not thinking as much about how it'll impact people, i've been called selfish a lot over my lifetime. recently i've started thinking more about how my actions impact people and their feelings, and i'm feeling a lot more torn. i want to do what i want to do, what i feel is best, but i feel immature for doing it a lot. i've started worrying a lot about being a bad person and hurting people, and i've been thinking about how the "right" way to be is. i went through a phase where i was repressing myself to make the "moral" choice, but i just felt so flat. ultimately i realized that it doesn't really matter how good i am if i have to repress myself to get there, cause then all it is is performance. tldr is i feel super guilty for making "selfish" choices rn, especially as i've gotten more aware of other peoples' feelings.

what i think is probably going on is that i'm an idealist primary with a badger model, but i'm not sure between lion and bird, and i'm still open to badger. pretty sure i'm not a snake.

the section on my secondary's gonna be a lot shorter, sorry this got so long! so i'm p sure i'm a badger secondary. considered lion and snake secondary too. whatever i am, i have a p loud lion model over it. i've always had a gift for making people trust me, for acting. i kinda blend in and become what i need to to both help them and get them off my back so i can do what i need to do. i have a serious passion for helping people with tough love (i like to think of myself as a p good advice giver, since i can both tell people what they need to hear and really get in their shoes and be kind where other people might not). i think i judge myself the least when i can kinda toe that line between pushing boundaries and stepping back-- i track where peoples' boundaries are constantly so i can push them to the limit without stepping over them. i'm very fluid when it comes to presentation in reality, even though i think people actually think of me as kinda controversial. i tend to see people who are ACTUALLY overstepping boundaries as lowkey selfish at times, even though i also really respect them. i like to do things the "right" way as long as i give a shit about them. the catch is, i don't want to blend into the background, and i don't think i do. a partner of mine called me a fox cause he noticed the way i constantly toe that line where i can get people to notice me and still keep them off my back, still make them comfortable. i'm also NOT a planner. people constantly give me shit for only ever feeling things out in the moment, and honestly thinking about the future freaks me out. i don't want to plan how i do shit i'd rather just get in the zone and figure it out from there. tldr i'm pretty sure i'm a badger secondary? but i could be convinced of snake. definitely see elements of both but my gut's telling me badger so take that how you will

anyway! thank you so much for taking the time to answer this, i know it's a lot.

also sorry one thing i forgot to add about my secondary! i think my lion model got so loud because when i do the shifty presentation thing, i have a tendency to lose myself and start perceiving myself as whatever i'm presenting. it's made it really hard to figure out who i actually am and so i started just being as clear about it as possible.

for my primary, i really care a lot about being right. i try to take every side into consideration to make sure i get the best conclusion. i can be super stubborn when it comes to certain things, but i don't want to just... hold to perceptions that are wrong. that being said it's important to me to trust my gut and i take it as a big input. i'm very felt out for most things, don't really have a strong system of how to be. i really wanna be able to trust myself but i just don't. i have a big habit of relying on other people to tell me what to think, which is uh. yeah.

Primary

You're a Bird primary with a Lion model, and you're trying on some Badger ideals. That's one of the easier Sorts I've done, lol! Possibly because your primary and models actually House match mine :p

Your reasoning process screams Bird xD and so does your writing style and just the length of the ask. Birds love self-analysis, it's part of how we make sure our systems stay as close to true as we can make them.

You've got some Lion too, but it's a model. It sounds like your Lion and your Bird have come into conflict before, and like most Birds with Lion models, it bugs the snot out of you when your Lion's intuition (which is important data!) doesn't line up with what your Bird knows.

You've prioritized Bird's conclusions before, but (as with many Birds) you don't entirely trust your own system and you're wondering if your Lion might have been right and you should give its reasoning more weight.

Also, you're consciously deciding that maybe Badgers' way of doing things is more moral than yours, and you're pulling in some of those ideals. That doesn't make you a Badger primary. Birds are notorious for this kind of thing actually 😂

The line between whether some ideals you've pulled into your Bird system vs. what counts as a model is fuzzy. It's up to you really, how important those pieces of Badger are to you.

For me, I think the line might be--is it wired into your sense of self on its own, or does it get filtered through your Bird and Lion? It really sounds like your Lion is a strong part of your sense of self: if you ignore its advice, you feel not totally like yourself. You don't have to feel all your models equally strongly, but thinking of it that way might help.

(It's also hard because Birds often feel like they kind of are their systems, or they are their ability to reason, that's a core part of their identity. ...It's complicated.)

Secondary

You sound really really Snakey. I'm not sure where you're getting Badger, actually!

Badgers are more than the mirroring ability. They also bury themselves in work or community, and it can sometimes look like they're neck deep in so many responsibilities that they couldn't possibly handle any more problems--and then they do have a problem, they do need something, and they stand up and all that stuff they were buried in turns out to be armor and tools.

Snakes, otoh, are improvisational and tend to be very aware of their surroundings. Unlike Badgers, the Snake brand of social shapeshifting involves a lot of keeping track of other people's reactions to what they're doing--trying something and then watching the response, then adjusting, rinse and repeat. You turn yourself into exactly the right person for this situation.

Badger mirroring is usually simpler. You reflect the other person's energy back at them: it's an empathetic response that says we're alike, I accept you, you're safe. A lot of Badgers do this without thinking--it can be hard to turn off.

Snakes also don't go in for prep work as much, it tends to trip them up (Snakes with Badger or Bird models notwithstanding). They're Improvisational secondaries, unlike Bird and Badger which are Built and rely heavily on some form of preparation.

The Lion model sounds legit, but just check for yourself: you might be learning to use Snake's neutral state. Snakes will sometimes drop all their layers of acting and maneuvering and suddenly they're just themselves. Different Snakes have different relationships with neutral state. For some Snakes, it's a relief to drop the mask; for others, it feels vulnerable and they only trust certain people with their full authenticity.

It does sound like you really admire Lion secondaries, though, so you might indeed have a model there! This is just something else you could check on.

Hope that helps!

- Paint

#first post in a while huh folks #gotta remember how to tag...#ravenclaw primary #gryffindor primary model #slytherin secondary #gryffindor secondary model #asks #paint speaks #sortinghatchats

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