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clanofjones · 10 months

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Ghosts of Our Days: Chapter Ten

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Ao3 (working on updating from the shutdown)

Cowritten with @theosb0rnway!

Chapter Ten: Sleep is Not Listed in the Plan of Casey Jones

Casey's POV

It took several more hours and the police on the ground below them for Raph to get Casey off the rooftop and guide his ass back to the apartment. Of course, his first stop once inside was the ice box, but with his newest discovery, it felt strange. Which Raph should he kiss now? ‘Cause he could totally kiss both.

Both sounded good. Both was good.

Unfortunately for him, Raph had other plans, which included pushing Casey away from the ice box and onto the couch before asking him gently to lie down.

"No."

Raph's POV

"Casey, please-"

"I WANT THE ICE BOX."

"I'm right here, Case, you've got me-"

"I want the FUCKIN' ICE BOX, GODDAMNIT!" A fresh wave of tears down his face reminded Raph of the now very unrecognizable paint job he'd done on Casey's face. It needed to come off for his safety, whether he liked it or not.

"Ya' need to at least take that shit off."

"What?"

"If ya' won't sleep like a normal person, at least just wash the paint off in the sink." Casey looked mortified.

"No way in HELL am I taking thi' off!!"

"Your face is gonna get worse if you don't!"

"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE 'BOUT MY FACE? ALL I CARE ABOUT IS YOU!!" More tears, falling down his face like a waterfall, making things worse just like Raph feared, but he had a solution.

"I've been teachin' myself to hold things while you were gone."

"What?" That was really Casey's favorite word that morning.

"I'm learnin' how to touch and hold things, Case. I can hold a brush now for like, a minute, if I really try." Casey looked hopeful, his eyes bright and his paint crinkling into a smile.

"YOU CAN DO PAINT AGAIN?!?"

"Yeah, babe, I can do paint again!"

"THEN WE NEED TO GO BUY SOME! I've got money I stole from the Foot punks! LOTS OF IT!"

That was great and all, but Casey needed sleep before he went out on another adventure into the city. He'd just gotten home after hours of crying on a rooftop! Raph was surprised that he even had any more tears in him, let alone energy, but that's just the benefit of Casey Jones: unlimited energy and lots of repressed emotional trauma.

"No, Case. Not right now."

His smile faltered. "Why not?"

"You need to wash the paint off and sleep. No buts."

"Bu-" Raph cut Casey off with a hard stare. "FINE. But I'm not sleepin' on the couch and no way in hell am I showin' my face, so you get the mask tonight."

Raph sighed. "I don't care what I get as long as you're healthy and safe. You know that, right?" Casey knew that extremely well, but would he admit that out loud? No way in hell.

"Whatever."

"Case."

"I said whatever."

"Casey!"

"FINE! I know. Just leave me 'lone! Now, I gotta go take this thing off. Thanks lot."

He did not sound thrilled in the slightest, so Raph got up and walked over to the window in the opposite corner of the apartment, as far away from the sink that Casey had limped to. He heard the sound of water running and Casey's many creative curses, so he was clearly doing what Raph asked. Yeah, he felt bad for making Casey take the paint off, but it wasn't healthy for his body and Raph could try again!

For now, he'd make Casey buy cream at the store to keep his face nice, and then once he looked better, he could take off the mask and don his signature paint all he wanted. Casey came back a few minutes later, standing by Raph with his mask firmly on his face.

"Better?" He snarked.

"Yeah, much better. Now my boyfriend doesn't have crusty shit all over his face."

"Hey, that was YOUR 'crusty shit', asshole, I was wearing it for YOU!"

"Well, don't. You're gonna get acne and nobody fucking wants that."

"All I want is you next to me and that ugly, horny motherfucker DEAD."

Raph couldn’t keep himself from laughing. "Hah! You said horny!"

"Shut up, peabrain!"

"Crustface!"

"'Least I got a face!"

"Douchebag!"

"Asshole!"

"Love you."

There was a moment of pause. "...Love ya too, Raphie. I really do."

"I know." He leaned his head against Casey's mask, trying to keep it so he didn't fall and go right through Casey's body. "Now go the fuck to bed or I'll find a way to unplug that damn freezer."

He could see Casey's horrified expression even with the mask on. "You WOULDN'T!"

"Oh, I would. Bed. Now."

Casey's POV

"God, you sound like Leo. Whatever you say, Raphie." He muttered sarcastically, stalking over to the freezer, kissing Raph's slowly decaying corpse goodnight, and crawling on top of it, curling into his usual position.

After weeks of adapting, his body was finally getting used to the temperature and texture of sleeping on cold, hard metal. Casey didn't care what Raph said, he was still going to do things his way. He needed that security, that sense of normalcy. Especially after finding out that his dead boyfriend is now a ghost that only he can see. What a day.

Five Months Earlier

Casey Jones just needed a break. Between not trying to flunk classes, daily hockey practice, vigilante patrol, and the problem that was Arnold Jones, he was just about ready to crash on his couch and call it a day.

Provided that the couch wasn't occupied by said problem Arnold Jones, which it most likely was. Before he could get home, however, his T-Phone started to ring. If it was anyone other than Raph, he would've smashed the phone on the sidewalk and run over it with his Heelys.

"Hey, Raphie..."

"Case! You okay? You don't sound so hot." For once, Raph seemed to be in a good mood.

"I'm always hot, Raphie, I'm just tired."

Raph rolled his eyes, letting out a soft groan. "Not too tired for jokes?"

"That's all I've got for today."

"Uh-huh. Sure. Anyways, I wondered, since today's a slow day, if you wanted to come over and watch Space Heroes with me?"

That was an offer Casey Jones couldn't refuse. He was at the lair in three minutes, tossing his shut aside and practically running towards the couch where Raphael was waiting for him. ,

"Woah! Slow down, Casey, I'm not goin' anywhere!"

"Missed... my boyfriend..." Casey mumbled into Raph's shoulder.

The turtle softened. "Missed ya too, Case."

And for a while, they sat there, filling their brains with mind-numbing cartoons until Raph seemed to feel that Casey was asleep, or at least relaxed enough that he felt asleep. Turning off the TV, Raph picked Casey up bridal style and carried him to their shared room, setting him down on the bed as softly as possible.

As it happened, Casey Jones was not asleep, in fact, he was far from it. It wasn’t often that he let himself take trips into his mind, preferring not to think too deeply most of the time cause it was just too much work. It also meant thinking about topics that he was scared about, like his father, his mother, and his own identity.

The last one was the thought currently eating away at his remaining brain cells, the one he wished would just go away. It all started with Angel's tea parties.

His little sister, ever the perfectionist, insisted that everyone who participated in her tea parties had to wear a skirt or a dress. She wasn’t picky about which. Casey didn't mind that at all, in fact, the part that scared him most was that he liked it.

He liked dressing up like a girl, acting like a girl, being a girl. Casey Jones was a boy, he knew that he'd always been a boy and that was fine by him, but he'd recently discovered that maybe he was okay being a girl too.

So, at night, in the comfort of his room, when Arnold was fast asleep in front of the TV, he put on that tea party skirt and called himself she instead of he, and as stupid as he felt, he loved it. Casey Jones loved being a girl.

He was obviously scared to tell Raph given that Raph was Raph. Tough, manly, acted like he was too good for Angel's tea parties even though he secretly loved them.

Not that Casey knew that part. Raph was his boyfriend, but even mutant turtles living in the New York Sewers could judge things. He figured he might as well try, and if it went south he could ignore his feelings, bottle them up again, and be the completely normal, trauma-free Casey Jones!

Right? Yeah, that would have to do.

"Hey, Raphie?" Raph jumped, not realizing Casey was still awake.

"Holy SHIT, Case! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Some ninja you are."

"Shut up." Casey went quiet.

"Raph?

"Yeah, Case?" "Can I tell you somethin'?"

"Sure."

Casey paused for a minute, then shook his head. "Wait..I...Um... never mind."

Raph's brow furrowed, and he put a hand on the back of his boyfriend's head, stroking his hair softly. "You sure?"

It was killing him, he couldn't keep it in any longer. Raph would still love him, right? Casey took a deep breath in, and blurted out: "I wanna be your boyfriend but I wanna be your girlfriend too!!"

Raph's POV

Raph blinked, trying to process what he heard.

"You wanna be my boyfriend and my girlfriend?"

"Yeah..."

"So... are you a girl now too?" He asked curiously, not wanting to upset his lover. Casey looked terrified and Raph could feel him shaking the entire bed from nervousness.

"Yeah..." He nodded.

Raph smiled, placing a kiss on his girlfriend's head. "That's pretty cool, Case."

Casey was shocked, to say the least. "Really? You're.... you're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad? Now I have a girlfriend and a boyfriend all in one person! That's awesome!"

Casey felt like she was about to explode from the happiness, kicking her legs and letting out a loud cackle. "YES!"

"So.... are you... still Casey, or-"

"Yup! Still good ol' Casey Jones! But now I'm a girl too!"

"So do I... call you a boy, or, um... how do I-"

"You can call me a boy, girl, he, she, whatever! Just don't call me late for hockey practice!"

Raphael could now state with confidence that he had the most annoying boyfriend and girlfriend on the entire planet.

"So, do you wanna tell anyone else or just... keep it between us?"

Casey thought it over for a minute. "Ya think your brothers are gonna be like you were?"

"They should. We're mutant turtles, we're used to people reacting to us weird. But ya know Donnie will probably tease you 'bout it."

"Eh. I don't care what he does, he's pretty wimpy at insults. Nothin' like you, babe!"

Raph chuckled, remembering all the times in battle that he'd thrown some killer insult, and heard Casey laugh in the distance. At least somebody liked his jabs! "Thanks, Case. Ya know I love ya, right?"

"You gettin' soft on me, Raphie?"

"Only for my girl." Casey blushed bright red, biting his lip and burying her head in Raph's shoulder.

"FUCK, why does that feel so nice-"

"Now who's gettin' soft?"

"Shut up, douchebag, I didn't know bein' a girl would be this nice!"

"But it feels good?" He sure didn't get it, but if it made Casey happy, then he would do whatever it took to make sure she stayed that way. "It feels AWESOME. Like, like there's been a part of me missing for years and you just gave it to me with one fuckin' WORD."

That's what it felt like to Casey? Raph calling him a girl was that important? He'd never felt like a part of him was missing after he found Casey, Casey was the missing piece, as corny as that sounded to him. He would ask her more questions later, but for now, he was going to enjoy this time alone with his lover before the Foot attacked again or some random goon tried to threaten the city. They both deserved a well-earned break and a nice cuddle session after everything they'd been through together.

Not that the aforementioned cuddle session could lay to rest Raph’s own thoughts and worries. Moments of levity, whenever he, Casey, and the others weren’t facing mortal danger in one way or another, were few and far between, which made relaxing a feat only achievable by someone like Mikey, who Raph was sure was down a brain cell or two or ten.

Casey, for all her virtues, contrary to what Donnie seemed to be holding fast to, didn’t really relax anymore, and Raph had noticed.

Between school, patrolling, spending time with Raph, hockey, staying an active figure in her sister’s life, maintaining enough energy to deal with his dad, and probably devoting some time to thinking extensively about the whole gender thing, sleep, and relaxation were both about as frequent as a blue moon.

Which was probably why the vigilante was out in record time, snoring lightly as all the tension finally left his body in the way only sleep could do. If Raph held him a little tighter, it's not like anyone could prove it – not even Donnie.

The temperature of the lair was never really finite and pretty dependent on the temperature topside, and as they had quickly figured out, thermostats hadn’t been super high on Donnie’s list of fixes since the Kraang and the Foot had taken notice of them.

Because of that, Raph curled in a little closer, running a three-fingered hand through Casey’s hair. It was a little difficult, given how tall Casey was (and no, dickwad, Raph wasn’t short, everyone else except for Mikey and Leo was unfairly tall as fuck), but he managed, inching up so their heads were level with each other. It was also a useful position if Casey leveled a kick at him because then Raph was in a position to kick back as a gag reflex.

“G’night, Case,” he whispered, and Casey nuzzled in a little closer, and Raph felt her breath hitch against him momentarily before leveling out.

By now, he’d long perfected the art of sneaking Casey back into his room, sometimes seeing his little sister, and the little squirt would always promise not to breathe a word of it to anybody else, least of all their father.

Most importantly, he was able to sneak Casey into her room without waking said lover, which really was the kicker, given that most days, when Casey was without his corpse paint, he looked metaphorically dead on his feet. This effect was especially heightened on the days when he had his corpse paint, the poor girl actually looking dead on his feet.

He kept a careful eye on a small radio with an analog clock, the numbers flicking to the early, ungodly hours of the morning, the sweet spot where that god-awful douchebag Arnold Jones would be asleep, or at least so far gone that he likely wouldn’t register a ninja sneaking his son in through the window. And if he did, then there was a good chance it wouldn’t occur to him to inspect the room until Raph was long gone. Of course, there was a minuscule chance that Arnold would catch them, and in that case, Raph and Casey would snatch up Angel and get the hell out of there. If Arnold Jones had a few broken bones to speak of – that was, assuming he’d be able to speak – then it wouldn't be Raph, Casey, or Angel’s problem.

Raph blinked the lingering thoughts away, despite how much he wanted to let the thoughts persist.

Performing the difficult task of situating Casey in his arms without waking him, he peered over his girlfriend as he made his way to an exit.

Jumping across roofs with minimal difficulty, Raph picked out the Jones apartment. Honestly, the place looked like shit, but according to Casey, it had always looked like that.

As Raph touched down on his target roof, he slowed as a particularly hard draft of wind blew in their faces. They had figured out early in the game that the two combined forces would sometimes wake Casey, and Raph believed that Casey deserved any and all of the limited sleep she could get.

He took them down the rickety stairs that lead into a small balcony, and balanced himself on the railing, finding his center of gravity, before he leaped onto a window ledge, which had been graciously left ajar. Raph ducked into the room and dumped his partner on the bed in one corner of the room.

“Sleep tight, Case.” The vigilante let out an odd snoring noise like someone had plugged his nose in the middle of the process so that it sounded more like a ‘snurf’ than anything else.

Raph helped himself to a brief snort at the sound, and for a second, let himself just exist there.

He took in Casey’s room – the numerous hockey posters and equipment littered around the walls, a mess of school textbooks that spilled out of a broken school bag, a spinny chair in front of a desk that held the remnants of a rotting meal composed of something that smelled fit for an actual turtle. Raph couldn’t help the scrunching of his face that accompanied the aroma of it.

Raph took the largest blanket from an asymmetrical pile adjacent to the foot of Casey’s bed and brought it over her.

“You’d be a mess without me, Jones,” Raph muttered as he turned back to the window, allowing a genuine smile to cross his face before closing it behind him and leaping from the railing into the night.

A/N: Plan 10, bitches!! If you're going to tell me that Casey was being cis at ALL in that episode, then we're gonna have some problems /j

I feel you, Casey, gender's hard.

But yeah, this chapter was really fun to write! Oz and I hope you enjoyed!

#TMNT 2012 #Ghosts of Our Days #2012 raph #casey jones #angel jones #arnold jones

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starlightshadowsworld · 1 year

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Okay quick question about Behind the Hockey Mask, how come Angle hasn't told anybody about her dad? Did Casey tell her not to, or did she learn not to tell?

The reason Angel hasn't told is mostly for the reasons Casey's never told anyone.

Both of them are used to this.

Angel was 2 when her mother died, now she's 7.

She doesn't remember life being any different.

To Angel her dad is sick.

That's what Casey believes and told her.

This what happens when dad is sick.

If anyone asks about him that's what she says.

Do people have speculations, especially say teachers when Casey goes to her parents evenings and school plays and is the one to pick her up?

Absolutely.

But Angel doesn't have so much as a scratch on her.

Arnold has never hurt his daughter.

And so their is no proof.

Casey has tried his best to sheild her from knowing about any of this.

But she knows.

But it's what happens sometimes when dad is sick.

He gets confused.

He gets angry.

She has to let him rest.

But... Their have been occasions when Casey has gotten hurt and Angel has witnessed it.

She froze.

A bloodsoaked Casey crawled over and held her in his arms.

Hushing her, rocking her in his arms that it's okay it's okay.

She's scared for him and no your hurt Casey... Dad hurt you.

And Casey smiles, he's missing a tooth and kisses her head that "dad's having a bad day today, but he's okay now."

"Are you okay?"

"I've got you hear Angel cake, your all I need." He says with a pained smile, using his non bloody hand to ruffle her hair.

"But you can't tell anyone about how sick dad is okay? That he gets like that."

"But why? Than they get dad to a doctors, that's where you go when your poorly and than you won't get hurt anymore."

"Your a real smart cookie aren't you? But, if that happens they'll take us away from each other. You'll have to go live with some other family, dad will be sent somewhere we can't find him and I'll be off somewhere else."

Grabby hands clench his hoodie.

"No!"

"So I need you to promise me you won't tell anyone."

"... Even Mr hippo?"

"Heh, okay you can tell him but no one else. And keep an eye on Mr hippo, I've seen him talk to Lady Jezebel at tea parties he loves to gossip."

Giggles "okay, I pinky promise."

I imagine the day the turtles find out, Angel grabs Casey's phone and calls April for help.

Because she's scared.

Because she doesn't know what to do because her brother isn't moving and her dad's left and Mrs Smith down the hall is out.

And she's met April, April's kind and sweet and makes Casey smile and he calls her Red and there best friends.

And friends help friends, right?

"Casey! Please tell me you changed your mind and are coming to movie night."

"...."

"Mikey wants you to know he even bought mint chocolate ice creams just for you."

"... I..."

"Casey? You there?"

"April...I'm Angel"

"Angel? Hey, what a suprise... Hey, hey what's wrong?"

"He won't wake up."

"Who won't wake up?"

"Casey. He won't get up and he's hurt and dad went out and I don't... Crying"

"Angel, where are you?"

"His room"

"Okay, okay I'm coming as fast as I can okay. You stay with him, is Casey breathing?"

"Y-yeah, your really coming?"

"Sure am"

She sees the others all getting up, no words are needed.

"I'm gonna bring some friends too. But he's going to be okay, I'm going to make sure of it."

"Please hurry."

#Abuse tw #Child abuse tw #behind the hockey mask #2012 casey jones #april o'neil #angel jones #Teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012

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