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hwangdol · 5 years

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n.jm: where were you?

summary: y/n does not know what the fuck is going on half of the time.

pairing: highschool!fboi!jaemin x fem!reader

warning: a lot of cursing, drug usage reference, crackheadness, maybe a lot of grammer error. this is my first bullet-scenario au so yeah. also! this a collab with the lovely @huangsren in out nct dreamies alternate universe teehee. she has a lovely, fluffy renjun one up so go read it!

part two!

you okay let’s get this collab with @huangsren

so at NCT High if you don't know Na Jaemin who the hell are you? like everyone knows this kid from lunch ladies to the freaking janitors

its not a surprise since the dude is literally dead drop gorgeous and has a shit ton of social skills. like the boy deadass can swindle his way out of detention (which he did) with just a wink

typical fboi but instead of it being a huge turn-off, girls still throw themselves on him even when he WARNS them beforehand that he isn't looking for a serious thing

still, they get attached and heartbroken when he tells them “this isn’t working out”

his friends (aka art-hoe!renjun and student-athlete!jeno) always rolls their eyes when jaemin rolls up into the lunchroom with his arms wrapped around a new girl’s shoulder

“bet she’s not going to last two weeks”- renjun slapping down a 10$

“knowing him, this isn’t going to last more than a week”- jeno said but still sliding over a 10$ bill

AND SUPRISE it doesn’t

both renjun and jeno don’t approve of his philandering, but they stick w jaemin cause he’s still their best bud cause bros before hoes ya know what i mean?

this is especially true with jeno cause they’ve been bffl since they were like five but that doesn’t mean that jaemin is anything like jeno.

nah man they both are the complete opposite of each other

like jeno is a quiet reserved student-athlete boi but jaemin out here acting like a little thotty

nomin is like a package deal, no one can separate them

here where out little y/n comes in

surprisingly you’re childhood friends w nomin

both u and jeno are neighbors and your families have been friends since before you were even conceived

your moms’ have weekly tea times where they’d gossip about everything and anything while your dads would be watching the weekly soccer/football games drinking a cold one

you and jeno would be playing with some legos or barbies

jeno had a minor (major) barbie obsession which was probably induced by you

don’t tell anyone but jeno still binge-watches barbie movies;;;his favorite really be the princess charm school one

like i said nomin is a package deal so expect jaemin to be taging along to yours and jeno’s weekly playdate

imagine you being the princess while jaemin pretended to be the prince and jeno was the dragon,,,yeah man it was so lit

this isn’t a jeno fic btw keep in mind its still jaemin

all of that stuff before was when the three of you were like kids

once highschool came around all three of you found ur niches: jeno was the student-athlete, jaemin was well that guy that was wanted by all the girls

and you were just a regular mundane student ya know,,,you weren’t extremely talented nor smart you just floated around

u still hung around jeno tho but your friendship was really lowkey

like both of y'all would wait until the other one was completely alone or do some ridiculous actions to deliver the simplest messages

jeno would look both ways before slipping you a note in class that said “can your mom drive me home today?” and you would make sure no one was looking before nodding secretly

or the two of you would hide behind bushes to say that y'all parents wanted to have dinner together tonight

tbh yall could just text each other but where’s the fUN in that?

jaemin, on the other hand, was someone you haven’t a solid conversation with since sophomore year bc of an incident

basically, you had helped one of your friends into a relationship with jaemin that lasted for about two months,,, which was considerably a long time considering that it was jaemin.the two of them were a fat power couple

ur friend, let’s call her ella, was probably one of the more popular girls at school. she was well-known for being the prettiest, kindest girl that everyone LOVES

anyways, things didn’t end so well bc he stood her up at hoco even though he was gonna be crowned homecoming king and her queen.

no one knows why jaemin just ditched but he did.

didn’t stick well with your friend tho cause she stopped talking to you as well not really giving you an explanation

and this led to everyone in your friend group to kinda put all the blame onto you

this is also when jaemin picked up his heartbreaker reputation and began living up to that title

at first ur were hella mad and sad, but you got over it cause being outcasted and kicked out of that friend group led you to befriend the local stoner boi!haechan

honestly, you got over it but after ignoring and avoiding jaemin for a whole year it just stuck.

yall never talked again

here comes SENIOR YEARS BITS

u were so done w school at this point, you had suffered and labored through junior year,,, SAT and ACT were the biggest bitches you ever faced in your lifetime and this is coming from someone who was friends with the resident shithead lee haechan

so it’s lunchtime and you’re listening to haechan’s wild story about some shenanigan that he and his weed dealer/ older college friend mark had gotten up to the past weekend

“so like we were just hitting a blunt this weekend in mark’s car and this cop pulls up next to us.mark rolls down the window and all of the smoke just hits the cops in the face”

“you're a fucking idiot, haechan”

“listen bitch, i’m not done”

“so the cop is doing the regular illegal drugs bullshit and asked mark a question. understand at this point that mark is high as fuck so i kid you not the crackhead says quack. nothing else just quack. honestly, i still don’t know how we got out of that but we did and lee haechan is still in school.”

you want to slap your friend with a big smh at this point

but it so ridiculous and so haechan that you can’t say anything else

and you don’t have too! bc someone taps ur shoulder pulling you out of your convo and boom it’s ella

“hey, y/n” she starts out sweetly and you could feel haechan’s bitch face directed towards the girl, who seemed to just ignore the boy

“what’s up, ella?” you were hella fucking slightly irritated and highkey suspicious bc like this was the first time that she talked to you in like two years

“this out of the blue, but you know how prom is coming up soon? we need extra hands on the planning community,” ella explained with a bright smile “we need another person to work on making the centerpieces for each table, but we only have one person on that”

“okay, so what does this have to do with her?” haechan’s bitchy tone soaked in each word

ella’s smile faltered slightly at his words, but it was so subtle that only people with keen eyes could notice

“i hope that i’m not imposing anything on to you.” ella trying to reassure “but Mr. Moon told me that you still need some community service hours for our graduation requirement so I just assumed that this would be a good opportunity for you.”

oh shit

you completely forgot about that and you still needed like another 10 hours to complete

“ummmm”

“i wouldn’t ask you this but my workload is completely swamped” ella added “it would be a big help if you can help. haechan, you can help too!”

haechan let out a loud gag that seemed to baffle her

“oh hell no, i already got my community service hours done like freshmen year.”

you gave haechan the most incredulous face you could make cause like this druggie who gets high every other week and vapes in the bathroom really finished his community service hours before you????how??

“don’t look at me like that.” haechan kicked you underneath the table “it was before i learned how to roll a blunt”

“drugs aren’t good for you, haechan,” ella chided

haechan made a mocking face,,you know the one he does like that one,,”not all of us can be little miss goodie-two-shoes like you”

oKAy time to do some damage control before your shithead friend gets himself into more shit

“i’ll do it. just text me the details.”

“thank you so much y/n!” ella said before bouncing off

“i hate her” haechan stated

“you hate everyone”

CUE aFTerschool when you follow ella’s text to go to the art building where everyone was gathered

the minute you walked in you realized that you should have just said no and done some other community service activity cause jaemin was present standing in the corner and other people who you once called your close friends that turned out to be fat snakes

now you gotta deal with them again (aww shit here we go again)

ella is motioning you to come into the classroom which you obliged cause you figured that you possibly could survive w ur rbf on as you made your way to the other unoccupied corner

there was some whispering in the background but you ignored it cUASE like hyuk always says: “you just gotta get high and block out all the haters”

well, he was right about the second half, not so much the first.

“alright everyone! thank you so much for volunteering to help set up for our senior prom! we only have about three weeks so we have to get all of the decorations done as soon as possible!” ella said in a chirpy tone

a lot of people looked motived by the girl’s bubby short speech on how everyone needs to put in 100% of their effort. you zoned that out as you caught the sleeping figure at the teacher's desk

“goddamn you mr.moon forcing me to be here” you grumbled in your head almost missing your assigned duty,

“y/n!” your head snapped in the direction that your name was called

you saw ella standing with jaemin and the sirens go off in your head

FUCK THIS

you let out a loud sigh before trotting over to the two

ella gave you a piece of paper that had the centerpieces’ picture on them along with a long list of decorations “all you guys have to do is make about 300. all the directions are on the sheet and the supplies are in the other room. it’s really simple, just have it done by next friday.”

you nearly popped a blood vessel

300 by next friday? today was wednesday so that meant you only had ten days to finish all 300 of them

so you and jaemin are walking to the classroom next door to get the supplies y’all needed,,, in your head, you were just cursing everything in existence for putting you into this position especially mr. moon

“so how did she rope you into this?” you heard jaemin say from beside you as you both carried boxes out to the parking lot.

you two came to the good conclusion to split the load so that he would do half and you would do half

150 it’s not that bad

15 a day

hell yeah

it was so strange and foreign talking to him since it’s been about two whole years.

he had a nice voice tho ngl maybe that’s why he got out of that detention that one time

“she somehow found out that i still needed to complete my community service hours before graduation” you murmured, praying that haechan remembered you telling him to wait for you after school

he probably ditched you to get high or hang out with one girl he liked

all jaemin said was “oh” and the rest of the walk to the school’s parking lot was quiet

the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife and the knife would break

“hey can i ask you a question?” jaemin asked when the two of you were about to go your separate ways

you could see mark’s old beat-down car meaning that haechan, in fact, did ditch you but had the decency to call up mark to pick you up

“yeah, go ahead”

“how come you still talk to jeno, but not me?”

i shit you not this was the quietest and deepest voice that you ever heard jaemin project

you didn’t know how to reply so you looked down at the large box in your hand, mumbling some incoherent excuse

“can you repeat that?”

“ i said, we don’t really have any other reasons to be friend's unlike me and jeno”

“is that all?” jaemin asked, probably catching onto your bullshit

you were probably delusional but you could’ve sworn you heard some sadness in the tone he used

you nodded quickly trying to get to mark’s car hoping to avoid further conversation

but boy was jaemin stubborn

“that wasn’t a good explanation,y/n! ” jaemin called out after you.

this time he sounded more lighthearted than before

you turn around to face jaemin who had a fatass smile on his face

damn was he good looking smiling like that

“give me a better reason tomorrow or else i’m taking you on a date!” his dazzling smile nearly blinding you as he made his way to his own car

inside your head little y/n is going whattheactualfuck?

“what’s with that shook face?” mark ask as you climbed into the passenger seat

“what the fuck?” you say

“huh?”

you look at mark “what the ACTUAL fuck?”

poor mark is like wtf is wrong with her,,,did haechan get her on some type of crack?

that night while you were making the little centerpieces you were still going over what jaemin said

you looked at the last centerpiece you finish making

was he flirting with me? or was he serious?

he sounded sad when i said that tho?

at the same, this was jaemin, a boy who is well-known for having flings left and right.

he’s probably just flirting

until next day! jaemin pops up next to you as while you get your shit from your locker for your first class

“did you come up with a good explanation yet?

his sudden appearance startled you causing you to subconsciously let out a yelp

“cute” he said, and you forced down the blush that was about to show

“i thought i told you already?” causing jaemin to shake his head like a cute little puppy

“i don’t accept it.i want a better one,” he said sounding like a spoiled toddler

you gave him the “wtf do you mean look” and he was about to reply until you saw haechan walking through the school doors with a pair of sunglasses on which can only mean one thing

that little shit head came to school high again

you pushed passed jaemin and stormed towards haechan pulling him to some vacant hallway to lecture him

leaving jaemin standing there staring at your backs as the two of you left

jaemin’s smile dropping significantly as he nearly glared over at the two of you leaving, specifically at the back of haechan’s head

“dude, why do you look like you’re going to murder someone?” jeno asked as jaemin sat next to him at their lab station

you weren’t in this chemistry class but haechan was,,,and it was his naptime

“how is y/n friends with him?” jaemin stared directly at a sleeping haechan

jeno follows his line of sight, letting out a sigh once he notices it was haehcan

“she never really told me, but i assume it was because she stopped being friends with ella and that group” jeno said honestly. he raised an eyebrow in question at his bffl “why do you need to know”

jaemin didn’t answer him, continuing to glaring at the sleeping male

jeno rolled his eyes at his friend's antics

but in a serious tone, he warns to his friend, “don’t pull your games with y/n.”

except jaemin’s head wasn’t registering this warning,,he was solely focused on how lee fucking haechan the biggest stoner of NCT High managed to take a girl’s attention from him, na jaemin....it was simply ridiculous

maybe he really was an attention seeker bc he made a beeline for your table during lunch instead of his regular one once he saw just how loud you were laughing at haechan’s joke

“what’s so funny?” jaemin asked sliding into the seat next to you

now both of you and our boy hyuk is like wtf

immediately you’re on defense, “what are you doing here?”

“you never gave me a good explanation!” jaemin pouted, giving you fat puppy eyes

those aLMost worked

“uhhhhhh” you try to find a good excuse but jaemin quickly cuts you off

“it’s okay if you don’t have a good explanation,” jaemin reaches over and steals a fry from haechan’s tray eliciting a hissing sound from the boy “you just have to go on a date with me”

then he winks

and he's gone

“what in the holy fuck just happened?”

the amount of time that y/n has said wtf is unbelievable

haechan’s sunglasses slip down the bridge of nose and you could see his red eyes giving you a look of disappointment, “and you say i have issues”

“stfu before i slit your throat”

the rest of the day wasn’t any easier on you tbh. you learned that jaemin was really really stubborn and very very clingy

the boy deadass scanned the whole hallway to find your face so he could tag along with you to your next class even though you could have sworn that his class was one the other side of the school

he kept on bombarding you with questions on what you wanted to get after school and if you like roller skating

by some means, you were able to hide in the library for the rest of the study hall period which meant that you could probably avoid jaemin until school ended

you spotted a familiar boy huddled in the corner reading a book that made you squint your eyes.

marching over to jeno, your eyes just say “explain”

jeno looked at you with like those wide eyes he does when he’s shookth bc the two of you never interacting in school so puBlicly

“what the hell is na jaemin trying to pull?” you whispered-yelled plopping down in the wooden seat next to the athlete

jeno is all like????wydm

and you explain your whole situation to him and he just lets out the biggest sigh

“he doesn’t like being left on read”

“what do you mean?”

“i mean, that’s what you basically did to him sophomore year. he was kinda depresso about how you just stopped talking to him out of nowhere. by the way, why did you do that?”

tbh you really didn’t know at first you were mad at him

was it bc his actions caused all your friends to blame you for his inability to commit to a relationship,,, but it’s been two years since that incident

you got over it, so why were you still avoiding jaemin?

“i dunno after him and ella broke up, i didn’t have a reason to talk to him.”

jeno looked at you like “really? is that your answer?”

“think about that question again because i’m sure that that's, not the whole answer.”

now you’re more confused but also very mad about how both of them weren’t accepting your reason as valid!

so as you were furiously making the stupid centerpieces that ella forced you into volunteering to do

angry y/n really got through a solid 50 of them

you pondered on jeno’s words and you thought back to sophomore year

you remembered still joking around lightheartedly w jaemin until he started dating ella

he actually spent a lot of time and effort even ditching jeno sometimes for her which was okay cause jeno would chill w renjun or even you (mostly bc he could watch barbie movies w no shame)

everything was alright until homecoming came around and jaemin flaked on ella leading them to breakup the next day

and ella to stop talking to you which made everyone mad you or think that you were the one that caused the breakup

WHICH YOU DIDN”T

you were the one that hooked the two of them up too! so it was really unfair!

it's like 2 am and you don’t know what came over to text jeno but you did

y/n: why didn’t jaemin go to hoco sophomore year?

you felt instant regret after sending that text bc like it probably made it seem like you were interested in jaemin,,,, which you were totally not!

seconds later jeno slaps you with the ”ask him yourself”

fattest facepalm

so that’s how you spent the entire night finishing all of your centerpieces that you were assigned to make cuz of your frustration

wow we love a productive y/n

alrighty this is where shit goes down

now that you were done with all of your centerpieces you took them to the art room the next day before school where ella was there doing her stoof

she looked up with a giant smile when you came in with a giant box

“you finished all of it?”

“nah just 150. jaemins finishing the other half” you set the box down

“oh okie,” ella nodded returning to whatever she was doing beforehand

since it was just the two of you in the classroom and you’ve been dying to know the answer since sophomore year

so fuck it

“hey ella, can i ask you a question?”

the said girl looked up with that same friendly smile that she gave everyone “of course!”

“why didn’t jaemin show up to hoco sophomore year?” you blurted out

in an instant, ella’s smile dropped and there was a sudden cold look in her eyes

“you already know the answer to that, y/n, you don’t need me to answer you. now if you excuse me, i have things i have to do” ella said in a very unlike-ella-way

her answer made you even more confused than ever bc how were you supposed to know the answer to THAT

confused!y/n is even more confused

however, all your questions were about to be answered, not really tho

you’re on your way to the third period with the same burning question in your head: why the hell did jaemin not show up to sophomore year hoco??? someone help?

tbh you didn’t even notice someone yanking you into the janitor’s closet until you were surrounded in darkness and someone's hands were clasp over your mouth

“it’s me, jaemin” his soft whisper sent tings down your spine

he let go of your mouth to switch on the light

“are you fucking insane?”

“yes, but it’s only cause i’m madly in love with you”

you rolled your eyes “cut the bullshit, jaemin, what do you want?”

“our date. you never gave me a solid explanation, so i want a date”

you were about to reject him but then an idea formed in your head

“fine”

and with that one-word jaemin’s eyes glowed 10x brighter with his smile almost blinding you

cheesy i know.

“let’s go now!”

the boy was really about to skip class just to go on this stupid date w you

is he that bored? did he really run out of girls to date?

but then again you really don’t want to go to math bc you’re pretty sure there's a test today that you haven’t studied for yet

so that’s how you found yourself with jaemin at the local ice cream parlor

jaemin INSISTED that y'all share a sundae, which he also fought you to pay for

there a silence that falls upon you for a little bit

jaemin breaks it though like he breaks heart (okay minnie that’s kinda mean)

“ella told me that you finished your half of the centerpieces in two days. that’s pretty impressive,” he comments

you nodded staring at the ice cream drowned in chocolate syrup

“to be honest, i haven’t gotten much done yet,” he admitted, continuing to ramble on “it’ll get done. i might even pay renjun to do it, but i’m pretty sure he’s too preoccupied with this girl that he’s been pining over for a while”

“speaking of which, are you seeing anyone right now?” jaemin asks out of nowhere.

“lol i could be doing other things with my time.”

jaemin observes your face closely taking in the faint blush on your cheeks from his direct gaze, “so what about that haechan dude?”

“what about him?”

“are the two of you a thing?”

you nearly gagged

“there no way in hell i’d ever get with haechan. besides, he’s having some of his own girl problems right now. he was being a little bitch about it too”

“good” jaemin says really contently.

“why didn’t you go to hoco sophomore year?” you finally asked

taken back slightly, jaemin softly smiles down at the half-eaten sundae

instead of answering you, he asked another question “why did you stop talking to me?”

you gulp, but eventually, you had to tell him the truth even though it was kinda dumb and immature

“because ella was mad at me after the two of you broke up.”

he shifted his gaze up to your own eyes

“do you know why she was mad at you?”

you shook your head

jaemin smiled again

this time it kinda looked sad :(

“because she knew that i was in love with you”

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liveonmtv · 4 years

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cash machine || kth

pairing: kim taehyung/f!reader genre: fluff & humor. crack actually. crack cocaine. word count: 11.1k warnings: strong language, drinking, an unwated kiss (not from tae), unsanitary jokes (i’m immature), implied sex, vomiting extra: (fr)enemies to lovers, road trip au, rich kids au but it’s barely there also they’re on summer vacation, also this story takes place in the usa JUST to drag the trip out tbh

summary: Jungkook and Seokjin get a little problematic, you have anger issues and Taehyung is under the impression that he killed a man. Also, did you mention that you’re on your way to your unfunny cousin’s wedding? Go on a road trip from Missouri to Las Vegas and you’ll be in for a hilarious yet scary experience!

a/n: hi! i’m just starting this account out, so reblogging would mean a lot to me. i’m a novice to writing, so criticism is welcome as long as you’re not rude about it. have fun reading (i hope)! i also have a jungkook fic planned next (:

song

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Jungkook has that look in his face, the one he makes where the person sitting opposite of him is about as depraved as he is. He’s given it to you while you were explaining to him how to scam desperate men under the preface of a faux premium Snapchat and he’s given it to Jimin when they were finishing their high school careers and decided to release grasshoppers in the principal’s office.

However, if there’s one person that’s about as fucked up in the head as he is, it’s Seokjin. The man also suffers from SMSTS as well (Serious Misconception of Sexual Tension Syndrome, and yes, that’s quite a lot of s’s), which doesn’t hurt given the current affairs.

While Jungkook is aware that Jimin and Hoseok are always up for a bit of mischief, he has ruled them both out as incompetents and moved on to the real deal. Jimin has these rare moments of sanity and Hoseok, as your most loyal little bitchboy, would probably tattle the situation with made-up details to you before the plan is even set in action.

So, Seokjin it is.

The story begins in a faraway land before Jungkook knew about the tragic facets of your family’s relationships. Though his friend group is on good terms with your siblings and your other close relatives are aware of their existence and somehow only have good things to say about them, he never thought they’d be invited to your cousin’s wedding. To be fair, you had to do some serious persuasion for your family to allow you to invite six more people to somebody else’s wedding so there’s that factor contributing, but still, the offer is out of the blue.

Somewhere along the way, you went on a tangent about how much you hate your cousin and how your aunt doesn’t have eyebrows and how bothersome it is to look at her face. Your horror stories were mostly you just being your usual dramatic self, but they also revealed that the [L/n]s aren’t what they appear to be.

You begged and begged for them to accept the invitations, and though Namjoon and Yoongi, unfortunately, couldn’t make it, the others agreed.

Then arose the problem of the sixth spot that couldn’t be filled. You would’ve just let it be but your parents insisted that if you’re going to ask for something, you should fulfill it until the end. It was Namjoon you’d asked to come first, but he was busy with visiting family back in Seoul, and Yoongi then declared that he didn’t feel like humoring you this once. And that was the exact moment Jungkook decided to strike.

“You want to play matchmaker?” Jin asks. And though he looks almost skeptical, his tone is definitely an excited one. “With [Y/n] and Tae, of all people?”

“Well yes, think about it logically,” he explains as he is about to say something completely illogical. “She has that sixth spot to fill, she has no other friends and they’re perfect for each other. All the other shit we’re gonna pull is just for fun, though.”

Jin laughs an evil laugh, always one to be up for evil schemes. Just another evil day in the evil life of Kim Seokjin. “Well, [Y/n] is Tae’s perfect mean girl. And that girl needs either therapy or to get laid, but like, same.”

“See? You get me.”

“To be fair, I think that goes for all of us. No offense.”

“None taken,” Jungkook agrees. “Anyways, I was thinking of a… road trip.”

“Well you didn’t have to be so dramatic about it, this isn’t The Godfather. Though I do feel like I’ve definitely got a bit of Michael Corleone in me.”

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly at the other fiend’s remark. “You can pray to god all you want. Here in these streets, the only thing we believe in is El Chapo.”

“I— Okay…”

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[11:05] LeBruh James: wtf is wrong with u

[11:05] LeBruh James: get help seriously

[11:06] jk the slump god: all i said was that u should invite taehyung as the 6th person to ur cussin’s wedding

[11:06] jk the slump god: overreacting arent we

[11:10] LeBruh James: what the hell is a cussin bitch im gonna kill u

[11:13] jk the slump god: not like u have anyone else to invite tho

[11:13] jk the slump god: hes not that bad ur just being urself

[11:14] LeBruh James: ur literally Not helping ur case rn

[09:45] LeBruh James: none of the girls want to gooooo

[09:45] LeBruh James: fine if it has to be taehyung ig ill live w it

[10:30] jk the slump god: great he already said yes

[10:30] jk the slump god: btw we’re gonna go in las vegas at the end of a road trip u in?

[10:33] LeBruh James: HE SAID YES BEFORE I EVEN INVITED HIM…

[10:33] LeBruh James: EYE. OK.

[10:33] LeBruh James: on one hand i kind of dont want to see any of u but if ur all gone i wont have anything to do b4 the wedding so i guess im in by proxy

[10:34] jk the slump god: lovely doing business with u y/n-chan

[10:36] LeBruh James: call me y/n-chan again and I Will Put ur Dick-Chan in a Freezer-sama and then Cut-san it off

[10:39] jk the slump god: i dont think ur using the honorifics correctly tbh..

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“I don’t see how this is a good idea,” you state with a dramatic pout while looking out of the window. Your expression is solemn.

Taehyung kind of can’t believe that you’re throwing a tantrum just because you had to sit next to him in the three-row SUV, but on the other hand, he’s kind of into it. You’re more appalled by the fact that he’s not as disgusting up close as you’d imagined him to be. Well granted, you’re being immature, but it’s your shtick so they take it with a grain of salt.

“Why’s that?” Jungkook asks obtusely. He ruined your life the moment he started calling you [Y/n]-chan and he has that bad case of crazy eyes he gets sometimes when you look at his reflection in the mirror going on right now. You’d be more understanding of his condition, hadn’t your trip started barely five minutes ago.

“What do you mean why is that? We’re all unstable backstabbing lunatics, do you think we can survive together for six whole days?! Stranded or even in a hotel? And then the ride back to Springfield?”

“Hotel? You’re funny. It’s always been my dream to sleep in a motel,” Jin pipes up.

“Seriously? No limo, now this.”

“Hotel, motel, holiday inn,” Hoseok starts singing. Perhaps if it was queen Britney, it would’ve curbed your temper but fate doesn’t seem to be that kind.

“Hotel, motel, holiday inn! Hotel, motel, holiday inn! Hotel, motel, holiday inn!”

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“So we’re not going to visit the Grand Canyon?”

“It’s in Nevada,” Jimin explains. “We don’t have any business there except for going to the wedding. I’d be more down to do it if I wasn’t afraid that one of us, meaning [Y/n], would push one of the others, meaning you, in the gutter.”

“Just a little visit?” Taehyung is talented at only hearing what he wants to hear. However, that doesn’t make the conversation any more productive.

“Well not to be the acrophobic buzzkill, but why are you so adamant about visiting the Grand Canyon?” This is the first time you’ve directly addressed Taehyung since the beginning of these mind-numbing two hours. Jin, hands still on the wheel, dares to take a peek at Jungkook and smile an asshole-type smile before almost accidentally crashing into a pole.

“Watch the road!” Hoseok cries out. Everyone else either refuses to acknowledge what just occurred or decides to spare themselves from doing so.

“Jin says that he always wanted to sleep in a motel. I have another dream.”

“To visit the Grand Canyon?”

“Not exactly. I want to take a shit in there and see if I can hear it splatter. Think that’s possible?”

“Maybe if you angle your butthole the right way—” Jimin’s explanation is cut short.

“Oh my god, you are disgusting. Shut up. I don’t want to hear it.”

“What did I tell you about El Chapo, [N/n]?”

“What about El Chapo?”

“Holy shit, I think I’m confusing conversations,” Jungkook admits. Jin offers no more than an eye-roll.

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Tulsa is a dump, really. Unfortunate that you had to make a stop here but also you’re satisfied because your right asscheek feels numb right now. Might have to take Kelly for a walk, though.

Taehyung stumbles out of the vehicle after you and all six of you seize each other fleetingly before making your way towards the gas station, a tense sort of silence following. You’re first to speak up. “Y’know, I’ve been listening to your voices for so long now that I don’t wanna look at your faces.”

“This tbh,” Hoseok agrees with your most profound sentiments as per the usual. He’s quick to match your pace, trailing after you like a lost puppy, successfully getting Taehyung out of his way. He puts his arm around your shoulders casually and you give him that sardonic smile that’s only really reserved for him.

“Don’t say tee-bee-aytch out loud. I get humiliation by proxy.”

Jungkook makes an exaggerated gagging sound before nudging Taehyung subtly enough that Jin is the only one who sees the interaction. Though the eldest had agreed with his deranged idea, there’s one thing that Kook knows that Jin hasn’t come to find out.

Taehyung has an ongoing problem or maybe he’s a masochist. He’s always been one to internally get attached to these girls who’d never give him the time of day, who can’t stand him at all. The tragedy-comedy that is his best friend’s love life started on a rainy day in second grade when a girl by the name of Seulbi punched him in the face and he was hooked on her for three years after.

After the infamous Seulbi, came Yeonji from the cheerleading club who blew off his invite to his first-ever party when they were fifteen. She’d called him a loser to his face and he was smitten with her for a while, too.

And then, you appeared in his life seemingly out of nowhere. Hoseok’s catty best friend with a tongue sharper than her stilettos and lipstick that goes perfectly with her skin tone.

Of course, he was aware of your existence prior to that accident he calls his first conversation with you—be it from the exciting yet flat-out brain dead antics Hoseok would describe you’d gotten caught up in at the time or from the sound of your heels sinking into the floor promptly before you entered math class. You were always late but claimed that the teacher should be grateful because you cut in line to arrive at school earlier. You always had one of those shitty overrated pumpkin spice lattes in your manicured hands.

Simply put, Taehyung likes you. Though after your disastrous first meeting during which, blunt-natured and seemingly lacking a sense of self-preservation, he called you a stuck up moron and you threatened to make an attempt at his life. With your bullheaded nature, things never did solve themselves after that one instance.

It’s not something that he’s expressed outwardly, but Jungkook knows him better than he knows the back of his hand. Unfortunately, he knows you too, even if not as well and he knows how you can’t get a boyfriend because you either scare them away or you find out they’re only after a quick fuck and some money.

Regardless, Jungkook writes off his inner ramblings as irrelevant before turning to Jin in what could be described as a conspirative manner. While clumsily handing the cashier gas money, he whispers something in the other man’s ear and Jin’s eyes literally twinkle like he’s in a low-budget porno.

He nods, furiously so, and the cashier simply stares at them like they’re two idiots that somehow merged into one. It’s not a pretty sight.

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“What? We’re sleeping out here?” Your whining is to be expected by now. Had any of your friends written an actual, physical, list of all the things you’ve complained about so far, it’d probably fill a notebook. Thankfully enough, said list remained as a mental compilation of your not-so-epic moments. “What about the motel?”

“Oh, so now you want a motel?” Jin quips back with a smirk. “They always come ‘round.”

Despite his boasting and apparent eagerness to go to a motel, that doesn’t change the fact that you all find yourselves in a campsite. You’re not an outdoor person save for going to parties or on a shopping spree with Hoseok. And well, your surroundings are a bit too green right now.

Taehyung is the next person to speak up, with a tense posture and his arms crossed over his chest, almost defiantly so. “Honestly, if you don’t want to be here, I don’t understand why you keep coming to these things.”

“Well, I don’t understand why I had to invite your dumb ass here either. I guess the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.”

“Yeah, I thought Namjoon or Yoongi would be more fitting for your taste of guest,” he says, outright taunting you now, as if to remind you of your failed love rendezvous with your now close friends.

“Well yeah, but they both denied, so I had to invite you.”

“Ah,” he gives a slight sigh and you dismiss the sadness you register in his voice as something deserved for annoying you, “that does make more sense. Lucky me, I guess.”

“Awkies,” Jungkook announces as if it’s something that needs to be announced. Hoseok simply shrugs, and though you’re definitely not looking forward to sleeping out in the woods, he seems excited to try something new.

There’s something hilarious about seeing a bunch of upper-class kids trying to set up tents and start a fire. You’ve converted to the cavemen with Hoseok, seemingly unaware that engaging in a one-sided debate with a bundle of sticks won’t make them randomly engulf in flames while Hoseok is trying out a trick he saw in the movies.

Honestly, it’s enough of a miracle that you actually went out in the woods and helped without tripping your silly ass and getting lost among the catacombs. Granted, Hoseok would’ve been compassionate enough to look for you had you gotten lost, but you probably wouldn’t get over the trauma of being covered in mud.

Taehyung notices you both struggling. Part of him wants to make amends with you and a bigger part of him wants to leave Jimin to scramble on his own. Not that he’s sadistic or anything, he just likes seeing others suffer sometimes for entertainment purposes.

Anyways.

He approaches casually, like the kind of casual where you can tell that the person has an ulterior motive that they don’t want to reveal. Hoseok appears happy to see him, like he’s a savior on a white horse, while you don’t acknowledge him that much except for a sharp question regarding what he wants.

He greets the older boy with one of these grins you won’t admit you enjoy looking at before roaming through the pockets of his jacket. Now that you’ve noticed him wearing one, you come to the sudden realization that it is getting quite breezy.

Taehyung has the habit of scrunching his nose when he’s looking for something and then unconsciously smile broadly after succeeding in finding it. You don’t like that you’re aware of that and you especially don’t like that you can pinpoint the repetitive action.

It appears that Taehyung was looking for a lighter, of all things.

“I thought you quit smoking?” You simply give him an incredulous look.

He doesn’t grace you with an answer. Though he doesn’t reek of the putrid smell, you’re still hoping that the answer to that question is yes. Instead of soothing your curiosity, however, he uses the lighter to ignite a spark in the firewood and you guess that it’ll have to do.

“Well, that was quite pathetic,” you comment unhelpfully.

“Better than Hobi’s attempts and uh, whatever the fuck you were doing.”

Hoseok is enthusiastic to announce that the bonfire’s ready. You watch the clumsily prepped three tents in disinterest, not bothering to defend your attempt at enchantment to him. “Hoseokie, you’re gonna share a tent with me right?”

“Hoseokie,” Jin repeats, but in good fun, “I thought you were gonna crash with me tonight?”

You roll your eyes before redirecting your gaze towards Jimin and Jungkook. By the guilty smile Jungkook gives you, you can tell he doesn’t plan on letting Jimin out of his clown clutches. You narrow your expression and jut your lip out disapprovingly.

“Well, Mr. Handsome,” Jin interrupts whatever you have to say with a thank you, “since you and Kook have been jointed by the assholes since we got here, I don’t see what the problem is.”

“I think you’re just saying that because you don’t wanna sleep with Tae,” Hoseok comments obliviously.

“What he said. Also, these crackwhores are planning something, and I’m going to find out what.”

“Well, you’re in tough luck because Hoseok promised,” Jin argues, emphasizing the word promise. He has a shit-eating grin on his face and he’s not even denying your accusation.

Taehyung coughs once. The second time is overkill and sounds even faker than the first one. “Sorry, but if [Y/n] isn’t comfortable sharing the tent with me, it doesn’t really matter what Hoseok promised.”

You gape at him. This is probably the first intelligent thing that you’ve heard come out of his mouth. You almost reconsider your treatment of him after that, but then you remember that a guy being half-decent isn’t something you’re supposed to celebrate. You suppose that even he looks like a saint compared to some of your exes.

Everyone notices the conflict on your face but doesn’t say anything about it. Jin admits that Taehyung’s right with a wail yet the tension doesn’t dissolve, somehow. You excuse yourself by declaring that you’re going to get the blankets out of the SUV.

“Damn, that bad huh?” Jungkook laughs. It’s the hyena laugh that kind of doesn’t suit his face but also the one he does when he’s having fun for no good reason.

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“I heard in the girls’ bathroom once that this girl went on a diet where she only eats bananas for three months. Like, five a day,” you explain while you munch on your banana in front of the bonfire. Needless to say, you’ve come out to be severely underprepared in terms of food on your first day.

“That sounds like a strategy to make yourself unhinged,” Hoseok retorts. He believes your story but he’s skeptical about that banana business. “I’d never do that.”

“Me neither. Diets are stupid, anyway, can’t a bitch eat?”

Jungkook reaches over and high-fives you, looking at you like you’ve just invented air or some shit. “Amen to that sister.”

“By the way, what’s the plan for tomorrow?” Jimin is the one to speak up this time.

“I have quite the plan for you, alright,” Jin laughs. His next statement, however, is the embodiment of his immature nature. “But that banana talk had me all distracted.”

Everyone collectively groans. You’re not really sure if what he said would classify as a dad joke at this point; you’re now entering single-and-desperate-dad joke territory. Can’t say that you’d enjoy it coming from someone else, but Jin is Jin.

“Anyways,” he dismisses his previous remark with an easy-going smile and a wave of his hand in thin air, “we’re going to a breakfast place first thing in the morning. By foot.”

His grin is mischievous. You think this is the worst idea he’s had yet and no one else present seems attracted by the prospect of it either, so you vocally oppose him with a raised brow. “Don’t you realize how likely it is we’ll get lost?”

“Yeah, I also don’t wanna walk too much.” Hoseok’s always one to back you up.

“Technology doesn’t lie, [Y/n].”

“If technology doesn’t lie how come I had a D on my maths test in junior year when I used Photomath?”

Hoseok agrees, remembering the incident. That day was truly one of sorrow.

“Technology only lies if you’re gullible enough,” Jin now changes the narrative.

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You sneak out of your and Hoseok’s tent with a brief explanation thrown over your shoulder. Something about getting your make-up wipes from the trunk. Hoseok mutters inspiring words of advice—be careful, it’s dark and who knows what animal puke is on the ground—and you stumble your way to the SUV.

Shoving the keys in the hole proves to be a difficult task, however. You aimlessly jut it in, hoping to hit the correct place by some sort of miracle. This is the moment that you realize that your eyes aren’t so good at adapting to the darkness.

“Hey, what’re you doing?”

You jump up out of pure reflex. Startled, you whip around with a bemused look on your face. You’re gonna get wrinkles, damn it.

“Woah, girl jumps in heels,” Taehyung comments dryly.

“Don’t sneak up on me, you idiot cokehead,” you retort. You’re not sure why you said that. He’s not a cokehead.

“No, but seriously, what’re you doing?”

“I’m trying to look for my make-up wipes.”

Taehyung takes the keys from you. Without half as much fumbling as you’d done previously, he opens the trunk and you proceed with looking through your purse, only to come to the conclusion that you’ve forgotten your make-up lines somewhere. There’s now a new resolve, clear as day in your twisted mind—you have to find the supermarket you passed by on your way here and buy new ones.

“Did you find them?”

“No.” You scoff. An angry thaw and the trunk is now closed. “I’m going to buy some.”

“Woah, calm down tiger. Can’t you just sleep with it?”

“No! Do you know how bad that is for your skin?”

“Well, we could find a river and you could wipe your face with the dirty water.”

You give him a blank stare, barely suppressing a small giggle. “Do you understand how ridiculous you’re being?”

“I’m being ridiculous?”

Silence.

“...You’re not planning to go off in the woods during the dawn of asscrack, right?”

“The what? Yeah.”

Taehyung looks towards your tent only to see that the light is completely shut down. Hoseok must be asleep already. “I’ll go with you.”

You roll your eyes. “Do whatever you want.”

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“So, why do you hate your cousin so much?” Taehyung asks abruptly from behind you.

Most of your walk has been a silent one, so far, except for an occasional grumble from you and an absentminded one-liner from him. There’s also the sound of sticks crumbling under your high-heels that’s slightly irritating.

“Because she’s unfunny,” you reply seriously.

“You have issues.” This is probably the least significant reason someone has ever hated somebody else for, in the entire history of hatred. Strangely enough, however, Taehyung can’t help finding it endearing how outlandish you can be.

“I’m sorry, I must have Alzheimer’s because I don’t remember asking,” you snap with a roll of your eyes.

“You know, I have a dog,” he begins dramatically. “And sometimes he shits on the carpet and one time he puked on me, but I still love him very much. He’s gang, you feel?”

“I don’t see how that helps with my family situation.”

“I never said it’s supposed to help, I just wanted to talk about myself.” He snickers. You’re getting the most violent of urges.

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Leering over the thin metal fence that looms over an otherwise mundane hill gives you an idea. Down the admittedly high hill, the supermarket is obnoxiously lit up. However, the hideous sight doesn’t deter you—this is what your nirvana looks like in the given moment.

With one bold move, you lift your leg up the fence and Taehyung considers you, your motives and perhaps even your life until now. “What are you doing?”

“It’ll be faster if I go down the hill.”

“You’re gonna break your ankles in these shoes,” he rebuts, his voice a tilted monotone. “Also, I can see your underwear like this.”

“Perveeeeert.” This is your final taunt before you do make it over the short fence and onto the other side. Examining the hill from up close—but not before you roll your miniskirt down—you come to two conclusions. The first one is that it’s quite steep and the second one comes when you’re one step down, that maybe, just maybe, you’re a bit deranged.

With your back turned to him, you don’t get to see Taehyung experiencing the five stages of grief. There’s obvious conflict on his face and to be precise, his current dilemma is between worry for you and a lack of power to stop you. Perhaps had you turned around, you’d find the sight entertaining.

His movements are leisurely once he does get in motion. Taehyung’s plan is to simply help you up now that he noticed that you’re hesitating to go further than you’ve already gone.

His voice cutting through the night’s silence startles you. “Hey, you really shouldn’t do this.”

You stumble.

As tragic as that is, there’s something else to placate you; you’ve never seen Taehyung move so fast. Not even during the blip test in high school. The rest of his actions are less endearing—he throws you over his shoulder carelessly, stumbles onto the sidewalk and drops you like it’s hot. And then your legs are a bit wobbly, but you pretend they aren’t.

The unnerving silence remains all the way to the supermarket, then back to the campsite and even when Taehyung’s awkwardly using his phone as a flashlight in your face while you remove your make-up. There’s nothing to say, except maybe if he were to ask you a question that’s not to your liking.

(He’s not that bad.)

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Jin is in a hurry, but you’re not sure what for. It’s been practically less than a day since you started this road trip, but it feels longer. You’re conflicted about how to feel regarding that, but even so, Jimin and Hoseok’s enthusiasm is hard to ignore.

The feline smile on your face drops the moment Jungkook basically drags you out of your tent, bare-faced and severely underdressed. Well, to be honest, you blend in with them just fine, but in your head, you’re severely underdressed. Something more boujee is usually your style, but you realize your predicament won’t magically change the longer you’re walking in what feels like the middle of nowhere.

Tusla is gross, yes, but maybe Oklahoma is just gross in general.

When you’re unhappy, you don’t get shy about it—honesty is the best policy, after all. So you’re going on one of those annoying tangents you like to go on like it’s second nature to you. Maybe it is.

Taehyung drones out whatever it is you’re saying the moment you start talking about a pimple in your nostril that has hair growing out of it. He’s not particularly grossed out by this revelation, rather, he doesn’t like listening to you go on and on about everything you don’t like about yourself.

“And I couldn’t put on that necklace you got me for my birthday,” you complain before linking your arms with Hoseok’s and feigning a sniff.

“That is pretty horrible,” he hums in agreement. “I think I have a rash on my thigh.”

“See, if Jungkook wasn’t being horrible I could probably get some kinda product to smear on it.”

Taehyung feigns a loud yawn. Tagging along with you and Hoseok isn’t as tiring as he’d like to make it out to be.

“What’re you yawning so blatantly for? I hate being interrupted.” You roll your eyes cockily.

“Sorry, I almost fell asleep during this uninteresting speech of yours.”

You fume again and Hoseok reassures you with something along the lines of don’t worry, [Y/n], it’s very interesting. Then, silence follows. It always seems to end up like this between the two of you.

“Well, if it helps,” Taehyung starts, tone breezy, “you’re still beautiful.”

You feel your face heat up. Sure, boys have given you plenty of compliments before—you’re no stranger to it—hot, sexy and maybe pretty on a good day. But beautiful? Especially without any make-up on? This is definitely something new.

Hoseok smiles. “Yeah, he’s right.”

You don’t want to admit just how flattered you really are. “Of course I am.”

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You take the first thing you find to your liking once you reach the breakfast place. Actually, it’s more brunch than it is breakfast, but all that walking is making you starve so you don’t feel particularly inclined to be hung up on semantics.

“It’s on me.” Jungkook sweeps in smoothly, giving you a flashy smile.

“Fuck off. I’m still mad at you.”

“You might be, but not for long,” he argues with an obnoxious grin on his face. “They call it… The Kook Effect.”

You shake your head. “I’m pretty sure you just made that up.”

“Yeah? Remember when you won a bet against Jimin and he had to call you Supreme Majesty in freshman year? And then you pretended that he did it out of his own volition.”

“Oh, I’m not taking this from you and your dead trim.”

“My trim is fine, thanks.”

“Dead trim!” you repeat, almost frantic. You’re so caught up with Jungkook’s dead trim that you don’t notice that Taehyung is giving you a cheesy smile as he buys you your food. He looks like the greasiest gentleman alive when he hands it to you.

“And what’s that about?”

“In junior year, at summer camp, they took away our phones because someone recorded the instructor jerking off. And then like, blackmailed him.”

You quirk an eyebrow up at this, unsure what he’s hinting at. “Right.”

“Right. And then they took all of our phones for a month and you started crying about how your life is a living nightmare.”

“Right…” you trail off, suddenly embarrassed as if that hadn’t happened a whole two years ago. But like, it totally was a big deal! “The no phone rule was the worst. Even worse than the public bathroom rule.”

“I did it. I’m making it up to you,” he explains.

You feel your mouth twitch into a small smile, one that he hasn’t quite seen on you before. “I forgive you this once, then.”

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“We’re going to a hotel after sightseeing,” Jin explains. It’s like he’s got everything figured out all by himself and perhaps with the help of Jungkook’s annoying personality. “I arranged the rooms and everything while you were eating.”

“Quite epic,” Jimin comments absentmindedly. “Wait, rooms? Like, you mean who’s rooming with who?”

“Yeah, I finished the registration.” He stares directly at you and then Taehyung. “You could switch if you wanted to, it doesn’t really matter.”

You give him a light glare, already having a brief idea of what he’s done, but don’t comment any further. With a sense of deja vu, you speak up again. “What about the motel?”

“I wasn’t sure if we’re going to be passing by one today, so I thought hey! Better safe than sorry.”

Everyone nods in half-agreement until Jin speaks up again. “Plus, you guys reek. You should shower. Couldn’t be me.”

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Predictably, Jin did set you and Taehyung up. You can’t tell what kind of game he and Jungkook are playing, however, the poor boy isn’t half as insufferable in your eyes ever since this road trip began, so maybe you should thank them. Still, you don’t trust them—their minds are as twisted as yours.

As the two of you are dragging your luggage towards your shared room, Taehyung reminds you that you’re free to tell him if you don’t want to sleep with him. “I could go to Jungkook’s room or something.”

You find the idea of being alone more unfavorable than you thought you would. Perhaps your high-school, drastically more histrionic, self would’ve found anything more pleasant than sharing a room with Taehyung. You’re a (slightly) changed person now, though. Or at least you’d like to believe you are.

“Let’s put it like this. I hate a lot of things.”

“You don’t need to tell me that, I already know,” he interrupts with a crude giggle.

“But you’re not one of them,” you admit.

There’s also the fact that the two of you are blatantly ignoring that you could switch with Jin and sleep with Hoseok instead.

No more words are spoken between the two of you that day. New Mexico isn’t half as bad as Oklahoma was.

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You wake up before Taehyung does, punctually so. Rolling out of bed, you partly don’t care whether you wake him but at the same time, you try to avoid making too much noise before slipping into the bathroom. Though you’re definitely one to value your beauty sleep, yesterday’s incident left you paranoid over whether Jungkook or Jin would catch you unprepared.

You go through your routine calmly and by the time Taehyung goes in the bathroom to take a piss, you’re ready to start doing your make-up. You stare at the foundation in your hand but before you can apply it, you hesitate.

Do I need make-up to be desirable?

Of course, you’re aware that not all women who use make-up are insecure, or that it’s always necessarily toxic for your self-esteem. And you thought that was the case with you as well, but your doubts suggest otherwise. Swiftly, you put all of your stuff away, stick with your trusty lipstick and nothing else.

“Morning,” he says, groggy still.

“Morning.” You look over to him from the corner of your eye and he looks kind of dazed. “Jin says we’re staying here until tomorrow morning.”

“Cool. Hotel’s nice. The scenery too.”

“I guess.”

There’s something cripplingly awkward when the two of you aren’t hurling insults at each other, you realize.

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You’re off somewhere with Hoseok and Jin when Taehyung is hanging out with Jimin and Jungkook. Turns out their room has a nice balcony, and with the others out of the picture, there’s some kind of buzzed chatter about incoherent topics swirling around.

Jungkook suddenly decides that it’s a good idea to start talking about his sexcapades. Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe his mind’s slipping. Jimin kind of wants to admit how much he doesn’t care what his friend does outside of watching anime and playing video games, but there’s also a part of him that’s morbidly intrigued by Jungkook’s words. Like a dark spell or something.

“I wanted to hit it off with [Y/n] in high school,” he admits bluntly.

The other two stare at him.

“Oh really? What made you change your mind?” Jimin asks, now more awake than ever.

“Dunno. Like, she’s more like, the bitchy rival in rom-coms, not the protagonist. I liked her, but I didn’t think I could handle her,” he admits.

“Once we were clubbing and this guy was messing with me and I complained to her about it,” Jimin begins, leaning into his chair with a fond smile on his face, “and she was all like, I’ll show him. And I was like, what? And she was like, I’ll show him who he’s dealing with. And then I was like, okay, maybe don’t show him that much.”

The three of them chuckle. Taehyung talks for the first time in a while. “Nah, I agree.”

“You dig it though, right?”

Jimin gives him a knowing look right after Jungkook shoots his question with a drunken smile. He guesses that since Hoseok isn’t here, he can finally admit it.

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. But I can’t get things right with her.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s like, we’re either fighting or it’s really awkward.”

“You’re on your own.” Jimin dismisses him with a wave of his hand. “I don’t think she hates you that much. It’s always Taehyung this, Taehyung that.”

“True,” Jungkook agrees. “Like yes, maybe she’s complaining about you half the time and I know she loves gossiping but I’ve never heard her talk about someone else that much. Except maybe Yoongi. What I’m sayin’ is, you should give it a shot.”

“Why do you guys even fight so much?” Jimin laughs. “Whenever it happens, I like, forget what even happened to lead up to that.”

“Well, you know me. I’m always too honest for my own good and when I hit her with some snark she starts getting all defensive. I just...” He sounds defeated by the time he’s finished with his explanation. Taehyung’s shoulders visibly slump and his frame slides down the uncomfortable chair. “I just want to get along with her.”

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The fourth day is the first time you actually aren’t sure where you are. Save for supposedly being close to Nevada by now, you tuned out the rest of Jin’s explanation despite your previous attempts at keeping up with your location.

Regardless, what’s important is living in the present. And the present for you right now is walking down a nameless street, in a mess of other tourists, with your pants uncomfortably sticking to your ass with sweat. In short, you feel gross.

Taehyung doesn’t seem to be having the same problem, while you can’t even fake being unfazed. You envy him just the tiniest bit.

A trashy souvenir shop seems to catch Taehyung’s attention. In the scorching heat and sand-yellow scenery of this town, however, even that seems more appealing. So when he urges you to go with him, you find yourself reluctantly agreeing.

When you step in, the air conditioning of the otherwise homey shop welcomes you like taking a breather during an overcrowded party. You let an unconscious smile take over your face when you greet the cashier. She’s cute and her adorableness factor only spikes up when she practically beams at the sight of customers.

“Hi! Please, feel free to look around.”

“We will,” Taehyung answers offhandedly. Her gaze lingers on him.

Most of the things don’t interest you. Actually, they’re hideous if you had to be completely honest. He doesn’t seem that enamored by them either, but you can tell he finds more redeeming qualities about them than you do.

Your eyes almost bulge out of your face when you see the most live-laugh-love-esque decoration to exist. Like something your mom would laugh-react to on Facebook.

The offender is no more than three inches tall and wide, a ceramic plate with a cartoony burger portrayed on it. It’s holding a flag that says two simple words: “Nice Buns!”

You can’t tell if it’s the radioactivity of Jungkook’s cooking from earlier or if this thing is what’s making you nauseous. However, food-poisoning or not, you’re quite disgusted by what you’ve just seen. “Oh my god, the caucasity.”

“Aw, you don’t like it?” Taehyung says with a mocking pout. “I think it’s cute.”

“What’s wrong with you? It’s corny.”

“No, it isn’t. It might’ve been if it was a corn-dog, though.”

You heaved an over-dramatic sigh. “You’re saying words that have no positive impact on my life.”

“I think I’ll buy it,” he declares, before checking the price and realizing he hasn’t brought enough money with himself.

You shake your head. “I’m not gonna be an accomplice to… that.”

“Well, of course not. This is your Valentine’s present.”

“Go to hell. As if I’d be your Valentine in the first place,” you reply sardonically before pushing him out of the way.

Taehyung realizes something at that moment. Even outside your evident disinterest in him and his affairs, the two of you are completely incompatible. You, too quick to judge and be offended and him, too quickly to say the first thing on his mind, obviously don’t mesh smoothly.

Neither of the boyfriends you’ve had that he’s spoken to is anything like him, either. If Namjoon and Yoongi have one thing in common, it’s that they’re both calm, collected and have a good head screwed securely on top of their shoulders. He’s not like that.

Even so, that revelation only makes the concept of being with you more alluring.

Kim Taehyung is an idiot. But more importantly, with one glance towards the admittedly good-looking cashier making googly eyes at him, Kim Taehyung makes a decision.

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While you’re taking a shit in a nearby cafeteria, you receive a text from Taehyung. This is shocking by itself since despite the two of you having each others’ numbers, you never really text.

[15:30] pain in the neck: im going on a date w/ the cashier

[15:30] pain in the neck: feel free to leave

[15:45] Princess Complex: i’m just gonna hang with jungkook thank god

Why is your stomach sinking?

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Once you meet up with Jungkook, you explain the situation briefly. He quickly looks you over, confusion evident on his face. “What? On a date?”

“Yeah, he just kinda left me in the toilet,” you confirm with a shrug. “Anyways, where do you wanna go?”

It’s not like Jungkook is an oblivious idiot with the emotional capacity of your aunt’s mutated sixth toe, even if he may appear to be. But you never thought he’d call you out the moment your overly confident facade starts slipping. His gaze softens. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

He isn’t examining you when he asks. No, he appears to be looking off, somewhere behind you. However, you remain ignorant to that fact.

“Yes! Why would I care? I’d rather drink toilet water for ten years straight than spend any more time with that moron,” you snap, too worked up for someone who supposedly doesn’t care.

“Is that how you really feel about Taehyung?”

“Yes! Yes, oh my god, let it go.”

Jungkook makes one more helpless expression, shrugs lightly, and you fail to realize that neither of those gestures is directed at you. “Let’s go to the arcade.”

“I’m not really into video games,” you lie as you run your hand through your hair, “but fine.”

“Hell yeah.”

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When Taehyung goes back to your room in the trashy motel, notably late during the night for a mere first date, the atmosphere is tense. There’s a crease in your brows when you unlock the door and obvious bite marks over your bare lips. He stumbles ahead to enter, but you continue blocking his path with your arms frigidly crossed over your chest.

“You’re late.”

“And what’s it to you?” He’s never spoken to you so harshly. There are moments where his words bite, but never does he say them with an expression and tone that are so frosty.

“Nothing in particular.” You move out of his way, finally, and he enters. You briefly wonder if he’s had alcohol before you start talking again. “I’ve been stuck in this room for like, an hour because the keys are in me. Waiting for you...”

“Poor you.”

“Excuse me?”

“I heard what you said about me to Jungkook. You know, I’m starting to understand why you scared away all your exes.”

Warth washes over you in waves for a millisecond before it disperses into nothingness, a cold numbness that makes your back shiver. Your gaze on him is empty yet livid at the same time and he cowers under it. You’re not sure if the guilt on his face is a flicker of your imagination or if it’s genuine, but you hope it’s the latter.

It’s never his words that are a big deal to you. It’s the way he speaks every syllable, so earnestly with truth laced in every letter, that makes you go off the hook. Because deep down, you’re aware that he doesn’t mean to be malicious or to offend, it’s merely him telling his truth.

You grab a few things impulsively with a mundane declaration, before storming off god knows where. “I’m not sleeping here tonight.”

When the door clicks behind your frame, Taehyung backs down and sprawls out across the bed. Truthfully, he regretted his words before he even opened his mouth. But he was so angry, be it with you or with himself.

It just seemed so unfair that you could blow him away time after time and yet, on his date the only thing on his mind was you. The mediocre make-out session and him awkwardly leaving out of nowhere didn’t help, either. And then you had to be so perfect, waiting for him instead of locking his ass out like he thought you would.

It isn’t the girl’s fault she’s raised to be as sweet as sugar while you’re more like citrus. He’s always had a knack for lemons, anyway.

The fact that you spent the rest of the day with Jungkook only aggravates him further, the younger’s words repeating in his head. I tried to hit it off with [Y/n] in high school, or whatever it was that he said exactly. All of this is his own fault, anyway—if he hadn’t been so temperamental, you would’ve stayed with him for the rest of the day.

Taehyung stares at the cheap lights hanging on the ceiling until his eyes hurt that night.

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Half-way through your trek to Hoseok’s room, you crumble. A sob escapes your throat and then another one. After these two instances, your tears don’t cease.

At first, Jimin is excited to see you at their door but his smile slips the moment he realizes what a bad state you’re in. You’re practically making whale noises while desperately searching for Hoseok.

“I’ll give you two a moment.” He gives you one final look-over and leaves with a not-so-threatening threat. “Or maybe thirty. You better be smiling and singing Toxic by the time I’m back, [Y/n].”

Hoseok rushes to hug you. “God, girl, what’s wrong?”

“I like Taehyung.”

“Is that it? You’re a strong girl, y’know, I never pictured you crying over some pretty boy.”

“No. I’m crying because I’ve liked him all this fucking time and I tried to run away from him because I’m scared. And he said the most horrible thing to me,” you explain as you bury yourself deeper into his embrace. “That’s why I’m crying.”

“I hope he isn’t allergic to hands, because he’s about to catch them. Actually, I hope he is allergic.” Hoseok isn’t one to ask about details. He lets you get it out of your system, makes a few promises (most often of violence) and then allows you to elaborate if you wish to do so.

You laugh, but it turns into choking considering how much snot you have running down your face by now. “He said that he understands why my exes run away from me. I mean, I— I said something rude about him first, but Jungkook was backing me into a corner and I didn’t know he would even find out about it, I just—”

“Forget about him, forget about Jungkook, everyone. Tonight is for Britney,” Hoseok commands more than he asks you.

You smile sadly at him before uselessly wiping your tears away and giggling like you’re on the brink of losing your mind. Perhaps you are.

“My 45-carat booger. Hey, let’s make Jimin do the chicken dance,” Hoseok starts off like he’s coddling you in his strange way of doing so, but then quickly turns diabolical. He throws some tissues at you and you accept them. If there’s one thing you’re truly grateful for, it’d be your best friend.

You nod, suddenly more excited than you should be. Hoseok’s right—you don’t need some pretty boy when queen Britney is watching over you.

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The next day, you’re wearing a full-face of make-up, and Taehyung notices it. Hoseok’s driving and you’re in the passenger seat, talking about some nonsense as usually do. The atmosphere is light, with Jimin and Jungkook occasionally joining in your conversation and Jin sleeping with his forehead pressed against the window.

Truth to be told, Taehyung feels like a zombie right now. Pretending that your scuffle with him meant nothing to you only convinces him further how little you care about anything that has to do with him.

“I think we’ll be in Las Vegas soon,” Hoseok announces cheerily.

On one hand, you’re happy to finally be seeing the end of this road trip. Though you’ve technically just been relaxing, you wanted to be done with your cousin’s dumb wedding and go back to spending an average amount of time with your friends. You want to forget how flippant things are between you and Taehyung, your quote-unquote friendship dictated by mood swings rather than actual feelings.

“Fuck yeah! I wanna get drunk in Vegas,” you say with a smirk. “It’s on my bucket list.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“You want to get drunk everywhere,” Jungkook corrects with a laugh. You can’t help agreeing with him. “And Jin will probably stay in the hotel and play Candy Crush or something.”

“Ew, ew, ew, a fucking millenial,” you exclaim in mock disgust.

“Jin can be a beast if he wants to. Remember when he twerked in front of the whole school on Taehyung’s birthday party?”

“Shit was wild, man.”

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No one except you, Hoseok and Taehyung himself is aware of what transpired yesterday. So Jungkook and Jin are still stubbornly placing the two of you together, yet you’re too powerless to fight it.

The hotel is a fancy one, courtesy of your annoying cousin. She’s been texting you and you sent a short message back to inform her you’ve arrived, but you haven't bothered to deal with her provocations any further.

After dumping his luggage near his bed, Taehyung was straight out of the room and you started getting ready. And that was that.

You feel more like yourself when you find the wine hidden in the fridge, a free present from the hotel. Or maybe your cousin’s way of making peace. Ha, as if that’d happen.

When Taehyung comes back to get dressed, you’re already tipsy and acting like a fool.

“Drinking already?” There are many things that Taehyung wants to say to you. An apology he’s too sober to say and a confession you’re too drunk to hear, to begin with.

“It’s pre-game,” you explain dizzily. “You know. I never told you why I hate my cousin so much. She used to bully me and she stole my first boyfriend from me. And we never got past it.”

With your trademark look, high-heels, acrylics, a fancy yet revealing dress along with whatever else you consider fashionable at the moment, Taehyung feels familiarity staring at your lopsided smirk. Though he’s gotten glimpses of other sides of you during these past few days, like how you like cuddling during the night, this is the epitome of who you are.

“Yeah,” he replies agreeably, though you’re not sure what for.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but Hoseok is waiting for me. So, this is bye-bye.”

“See you there.”

“Probably not.” You snicker. Taehyung can tell that you’re still upset with him.

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You’re so wasted that the things happening around you aren’t really making sense anymore. While you and Hoseok were drinking together for a while, at one point Jungkook whisked him away, then there’s a blank in your memory and now you’re here. Alone. And you’ve lost count of how many drinks you’ve had.

A man, that’s definitely a few years older than you, finally approaches you after observing you from afar. He says some sort of sleazy line—you’re not sure what it is, you’re not really listening—and offers you a drink.

You consider him. He’s not your type at all and that pornstache isn’t helping his case but, when you look at Taehyung and see him talking and having fun while you’re being an alcoholic by your lonesome and moping about him, you quickly accept his offer. Pornstache or not.

“Pick anything you’d like, kitten,” he purrs, in an attempt at being seductive.

“Well first off I’m not a furry so don’t call me that,” you snap with a self-assured grin. And then you start listing off the most expensive drinks on the menu.

This man is so enamored by you that he buys you all of them. You’re three steps closer to alcohol poisoning when you clumsily stumble onto the dance floor along with him, running your hand over his jaw in what you believe to be a sensual manner. He seems to dig it, but from an outsider’s perspective the two of you look like junkies trying to get off.

Your experience in the club is romanticized. The dim lights are reminiscent to those few times you’ve gone to a rave and it reeks of alcohol, overpriced perfumes and sweat. You and your nameless pathetic fan mingle with the grinding crowd and begin imitating them.

As the poet Lady Gaga once said, “redlight pornographic dance fight”.

The act itself is indifferent to you. From across the room, Taehyung locks eyes with you and you’re not really sure why but you feel this sudden need to provoke him, even when you know he most likely wouldn’t care. You sloppily kiss your suitor’s cheek while looking at him intensely from across the room. A red trail from your wet lips makes its way down his face.

For the sake of pettiness, you might’ve gone further—I mean, you were already playing some weird game of tug-and-war but with clothes—but you don’t want to know the feeling of this guy’s lips against yours. He finds the mostly innocent action as an invitation, though, and abruptly halts your staring contest with Taehyung by forcing you into a greedy kiss.

Pushing him away, you give him a pointed stare and rejection is clear on his face. “Excuse me…”

He’s a terrible kisser.

Pushing through everyone that’s in your way, you make your escape through the first door you find. In your intoxicated parade, you fail to make sense of the words ‘CLOSED’ that are so blatantly taped over the entrance. So, you find yourself in front of a swimming pool.

The cold breeze outside prickles at your skin unpleasantly, and a quick look around tells you that there’s no one around to put this in their cringe compilation. Apparently more disgusted than you’d initially thought, you puke your guts out in front of the pool. Now light-headed and somehow empty, you stare at your vomit and take a deep breath.

“Hey, why’d you run away?” Your suitor from earlier appears to have followed you outside. You stare at your feet—doesn’t he understand that you wanted to get away from him?

“You’re a bad kisser,” you say bluntly after getting over your little trance.

“Give me a chance to change your mind then,” he offers smugly, taking menacing steps towards you. You move away instinctively before you’re quickly backed into a wall, with his two hands trapping you in between.

Your eyes widen with fear and you sink into yourself. If you had anything else to puke out, you’re sure you would’ve done so at this point. “I have sharp nails and I’m not afraid to use them.”

“Oh, she bites-”

The events that play out next happen so slowly, you’re not sure why you’re surprised. Taehyung appears, and you do see him in your peripheral vision, stares for a bit before knocking the guy out with a punch to his temple. He falls unconscious on the ground.

“Oh god, did I kill him?” he asks, a vacant look on his face. He imagined his first kill to be more thrilling, but on second thought, he’s not sure why he was thinking about that without being under the influence of substances in the first place.

“I’d be happy if he’s dead, if that helps,” you comment dryly.

“Do we dump the body in the pool or what?”

The two of you are drunk enough to consider it. Your mind is blank for a bit, before you finally speak up. “I’m trying to think of what I saw on How To Get Away With Murder, but it’s not coming to me. But like, on Blacklisted, there was this guy who like, made the corpses turn to gas or something!”

“You watch too much TV. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s called The Blacklist.”

“Whatever. Do you know how to do that?”

“No.”

“Hey, what’s going on here?” A new voice cuts in.

“You better come up with something convincing or we’ll have to kill him too,” you urge.

“Did you say something?”

“No.”

“Umm, awkward believe it yeah,” Taehyung begins, a strong start. “This guy slipped on her puke and hit his head. And he has a concussion now.”

“Man, that sucks,” the guy says. You’re relieved that he’s as trashed as he is, otherwise the situation would’ve went really badly, considering how Taehyung straight-up lied to his face. “I’ll go call someone over ‘ere.”

Once he’s out of sight, the two of you stare at each other and decide to flee the country. But then change the plan with the more economically-efficient idea to simply leave the club.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

“Why were you with that guy anyway?” Taehyung asks. Frankly put, neither of you know where you’re going, but you’re boldly leading him through the artificially-lit streets of Las Vegas as if you’re born there. Where you end up is a concern your sober selves of tomorrow should worry about.

“I wanted to make you jealous,” you reply, bold, like everything you do when you’re drunk is.

“...I don’t get it.”

“You pissed me off so much yesterday. And you made me jealous when you went out with that cashier. But also, you killed a guy for me, so I guess I’m not mad at you anymore.”

“Well aren’t you high-maintenance,” he retorts sarcastically, gaining what feels like a confidence spurt because of your sudden confession. “You don’t have anything to be jealous of, anyway. The only thing I had on my mind during that stupid fucking date was you.”

You freeze up. You thought that your own attitude was what made any possibility of him returning your feelings seem laughable. Even if it’s drunk blabber, alcohol is an honesty elixir, at least in your case. “Kiss me?”

He doesn’t need to be told twice, attacking your lips so eagerly you’d consider it funny if you were in a right state of mind. Still, your reciprocation is just as hungry, so maybe you don’t have any room to laugh. He is indulging you, after all.

The wipeout that happened at the club happens again and you’re left to wonder how things escalated. From teeth clashing against each other in pure excitement, you’re left hovering over Taehyung’s form and straddling him unsteadily.

He reaches under your already high dress and the glimpse of your panties seems to excite him. “You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this,” he admits breezily.

You smile, a teasing one, adjusting yourself better. “You don’t need to be so dramatic about it, it’s just underwear.”

“Dramatic is how many times I’ve jerked off after we went to the supermarket and you flashed me.”

“Ewwww, we shared a bed like three times, freak,” you scold and he pouts when you distance yourself from him.

“I was just trying to be funny!”

“Not funny. Didn’t laugh. It’s better when you don’t talk,” you instruct before leaning down again to kiss him. At least he’s having fun with groping whatever he can get his hands on.

“You’re so annoying it turns me on. Always whining, it drives me nuts how much I really like you.”

You snicker. “Well, I sure am feelin’ the love here.”

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When you wake up, you register three things. Four, actually. First—your left shoe is missing. Second— Taehyung is knocked out cold next to you. Third—you don’t know where you are, except for the fact that there’s a garbage bin next to you. Fourth—your head is throbbing with pain and you’re so sore you’re not sure if you can walk. Needless to say, you had the wild night in Vegas you wished for in your bucket list, and you only half-regret it.

You see your shoe discarded near you and nudge it with your toe for a bit before finally gathering enough power to sit up and put it on. Or so you think, because the moment you’re propped in a standing position, you vomit like you did yesterday.

Speaking of yesterday, the only thing you remember is that you and Taehyung were convinced that he’s now a murderer on the run, confessing your feelings for each other in an anti-climactic manner and then having like seven rounds of public sex.

With a recap of yesterday’s events, you digress and put your shoe on before reaching in your purse. Surprisingly, you haven’t been robbed. Fishing your phone out, you come to the conclusion that you’ve been knocked out cold for way too long.

Hoseok has generously spammed you with seventy texts, but you don’t bother to read them, already assuming that the gist is something about where the fuck you and Taehyung are. Instead, you call him immediately.

“Hi,” you greet casually.

“[Y/n]! Where the fuck are you and Tae? We were so worried. Jin almost declared you two missing. But on the positive side, Jungkook didn’t care because he got food poisoning yesterday at the club.”

“I don’t know where we are, but he’s with me.”

“What do you mean?!”

“I’ll send you my location. I don’t have money for Uber, love you, kisses and hickeys,” you say in one breathe before hanging up quickly and doing what you said you’d do.

At first, you thought this road trip was an opportunity for you to grow and mature. However, after yesterday’s shenanigans, you’re almost convinced your sociopathic tendencies are now higher by 5%.

You start shaking Taehyung until he wakes up and swats your arms away. Now upon closer inspection, while you’re aware that you look bad right now, he’s not looking too hot either. The lipstick marks you had left on his face make it look like you’ve either slobbered all over him or that he’s a vampire, you’re not sure. And you’ve bitten him so much somebody could think he got attacked by a racoon judging solely on those bruises.

You quickly explain the situation to him as you’re fixing up your bra and top. Considering the fact that you were bordering on nip-slip territory, that was your priority. Smoothing your dress is easy enough, but your pantyhose is mysteriously ripped in some incriminating places.

He reaches out, rips out the fake eyelash that was pathetically hanging off the corner of your eye and throws it away. You take care of the other one, wipe off your ruined make-up and then wipe off the lipstick on his face.

Your head hurts so much that you don’t know what to say to break the silence. Though you also don’t doubt that he’s in the position, and so, for the first time it doesn’t feel awkward between the two of you.

“Hey, [Y/n], are we like… dating now?”

“I think so? You can be my date to the wedding if you want.”

A dopey smile takes over his face. You realize you’ve made someone this happy before with merely being yourself. It fills you with a kind of warmth you’ve never felt before.

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“Your cousin won’t stop calling you,” Taehyung emphasizes as you’re pointedly ignoring your ringtone while you get ready. Considering the atrocious state both of you came back in, the process taking longer than usual shouldn’t be a surprise. Especially since you had to take turns for the shower.

Also the part where the two of you got into a fight over who should go in first—your thesis being arguably stronger once you mentioned the mud ingrained in the left sole of your feet—only slowed you down further.

“I know right? Can’t this pregnant moron get a life.”

“No, I think she’s calling you because we’re late to the wedding,” he elaborates. “You should pick up.”

“But I hate her!”

“You can roast her at the wedding and I’ll hype you up if you do what I ask.”

“Oh my god, promise?”

“Promise.”

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“Look who finally showed up,” your cousin greets you with a tight smile. You can only return the sentiment as Taehyung dumbly trails behind you.

Well, as much as you don’t like your cousin, the wedding is certainly nice. With a light atmosphere and a fancy ceremony, he can’t pretend he hates it—that much is certain. Though he can also tell that it’s a lot of money wasted on food that doesn’t look appetizing in the slightest the more he examines the buffet.

“I see you’re not wearing the dress I shipped to you. Is it too tight, perhaps?” She’s smiling fakely and sweetly as she waits for your answer to her provocation. Of course it’s too tight; what else could it be when she picked it two sizes smaller than what you usually wear. And she did it on purpose too.

Despite the rather mundane conversation happening, the tension is thick.

“I’m going to be quick. You look like a greasy manatee.” You give her your own uptight smile before strutting away, cueing Taehyung to follow after you.

“Pregnancy-shameeeeed,” he yells out as he offers her finger guns and speed-walks in your direction.

Once he’s caught up with you, he speaks up again. “I know you could’ve been more brutal than that.”

“Oh please, I’m sophisticated, I’d never engage in some barbaric behavior.”

You both burst out laughing at your blatant lie.

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“Do you think they’re dating now?” Jin asks, looking at the two of you as you dance and joke around. Though he imagines that you could only be having a deranged conversation, one that isn’t as sweet and lovey-dovey as it might look from an outsider’s perspective, it’s still quite disgusting how smitten Taehyung looks with you.

“I don’t care,” Jungkook answers. Him saying he doesn’t care is a metaphor for how much he doesn’t care about anything after his food poisoning.

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Oh definitely. I saw them making out near a garbage dumpster when we were driving back to the hotel.”

Seokjin chokes.

#bts scenarios #taehyung x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #taehyung fanfic #bts fluff #kim taehyung #taehyung scenarios #taehyung imagines #taehyung fluff #bts fanfic #mine

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aftgficlibrary · 6 years

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Post-Canon

Here is a list of fics set after the books so we can live on even after the series ends (Note: due to the sheer amount of Post-Canon fics, this only includes completed fics and is an extremely long list)

light fires at night (to push back the void) by inthesea (M | 61,862 | 3/3)

The first time Andrew realizes he wants to hear the words, Neil isn’t even doing anything. He’s just sitting there, staring at the horizon with that stupidly dramatic faraway expression of his, and letting the cigarette burn down between his fingers all the way to the filter — an outrageous waste of good nicotine, if you asked Andrew.

(Or: 20+ times Andrew and Neil say I love you, and one time they say it out loud.)

Trust Fall (And Welcoming Arms) by SpangleBangle (E | 84,557 | 13/13)

Life goes on after the Foxes win the championship, and for Andrew and Neil it’s uncharted territory with only each other for guides. Maybe it’s time to put away some of those hard edges, and learn how to touch more softly, and speak more honestly. And if they falter, they have their family to help them get back on their feet.

right side of rock bottom by allyasavedtheday (M | 20,019 | 1/1)

Neil thinks it might be the first time he’s taken a breath in days.

He hadn’t realised it because he’d been so caught up in packing and saying goodbye to everyone but now that it’s over he remembers his self-imposed countdown was meant to be up by now. It’s the end of the school year and five months ago, he thought he’d be dead by now.

Instead he has a team and a future and a home and Andrew.

(The last two might be interchangeable.)

A little look into Neil and Andrew’s relationship after The King’s Men where they learn to touch, to talk and to trust.

The Name Game by minyrrds (G | 3,042 | 1/1)

What happens when Andrew and Neil change the names on their jerseys

something like home by nightswatch (T | 5,197 | 1/1)

Andrew keeps showing up at Neil’s apartment. But that’s what he gave him the key for, isn’t it?

lessons in trust by nightswatch (T | 3,609 | 1/1)

They don’t talk about what exactly they are, but Neil is more and more convinced that they’re on a good way to becoming something.

raze it to the ground by ilgaksu for badacts (T | 4,511 | 1/1)

It stops being about Neil entirely, and it starts being about this: Andrew is really, really fucking tired.

sugar, spice, and something nice by ephemeralsky (T | 6,258 | 1/1)

Andrew appears by his side seconds later, takes one look at the charred disaster, and says, “At least you did not burn the Tower down.”

Neil sighs. Happy birthday, he thinks mockingly as he chucks the brownie into the garbage bin.

(or: Neil finds a new hobby and indulges his family with sweets, Andrew indulges Neil, and they both can’t stop staring at each other)

a love song for the cliffhanger boys by ilgaksu for clockworkmoon (T | 1,680 | 1/1)

Some days, you work with what you got.

thorn in my skin by ephemeralsky (T | 5,861 | 1/1)

These days, both of them are able to sleep on the same bed without any weapons underneath their pillows and on their person, and Andrew is not sure what he wants to do with this knowledge. They have poured years into forging their armors, and now they are stripping them, piece by tattered piece.

(or: the five weapons Neil has at his disposal + the one weapon he wields without knowing it)

/Graphic Depictions Of Violence

next stop: nowhere by nightswatch (M | 8,117 | 1/1)

Neil and Andrew have a week to themselves and decide to hit the road.

i’ll carry you home by broship_addict (E | 4,257 | 1/1)

“I thought we agreed that you were getting rid of it. Not coming back with two.”

“We agreed that I would take the cat to the shelter. I did.”

Or, Andrew and Neil and their cats, in seven parts.

above us only stars by nightswatch (T | 2,206 | 1/1)

Neil wants to say that he is fine. He wants to say that Nathaniel Wesninski doesn’t own a single part of him.

The Days That Followed by lipsstainedbloodred (E | 7,410 | 1/1)

Andrew’s hand moved up further to Neil’s ruined cheek and he held a hand over it briefly. “These are not ugly,” Andrew said, forcing Neil to look up and face himself directly in the mirror, “You will not be ashamed of these. You will not shy away from your reflection because of them. These are not ugly.”

or, the fic where Neil is self conscious of his scars and Andrew forces him not to be.

Hold It Together (Until You Can’t) by Joana789 (M | 5,560 | 1/1)

Andrew holds his gaze just for a second longer before turning away, and Neil breathes in, because even if Andrew Minyard, with his extraordinary memory, remembers the date — which is likely, Neil knows — he gives no sign of it.

Neil thinks that perhaps it is carved into his memory only.

Exactly a year after Baltimore, Neil doesn’t expect to feel like this.

Kisses on Scars by rememberednoah (G | 1,941 | 1/1)

In which Andrew decides to kiss all of Neil’s scars. In which Neil isn’t quite sure how to react and feel about this.

Josten Has A Neck Fetish by keihtkogane (T | 2,301 | 1/1)

An full length ficlet extension of my tumblr headcanon which ends with Andrew revealing Neil has a neck fetish on live television.

–

Written for the anon who asked: omfg can i pleASE get an extension of the last part of your andreil and subtle touches headcanon? the part where andrew’s like “josten has a fucking neck fetish”

Every Choice Leads To You by SpangleBangle (G | 2,809 | 1/1)

Andrew knew they had to get up at some point, if only for the bathroom, but was loathe to hurry the moment along. He would take every greedy minute of Neil snug in his bed, for as long as he could. It was the choice he’d made years before, and the one he made every day when he saw Neil’s ‘good morning’ smile. He had a feeling it was a choice he’d be making for many years to come. And while that thought should be terrifying, with Neil sweet and content in his arms, fear was far away.

All Hail the Underdogs by wildfrancium (T | 25,411 | 10/10)

Ten years after Neil Josten becomes Neil Josten, life is full of Exy and Andrew. And then they decide to try fostering a kid.

Late Night, Welcome Home by ThePackWantstheD (T | 1,160 | 1/1)

“I thought Andrew shredded those pants,” Kevin answered.

Neil’s lips quirked further up. “Wymack got me another pair.”

“What did I do to deserve this kind of punishment?” Kevin asked. “You’re the problem child.”

Fighting Heavy Shoulders by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,718 | 1/1)

He would stick a knife in the throat of anyone who tried to make him admit it, but Andrew was actually a little concerned about Neil running this race. From what he can tell, this can go one of two ways. Option one: Neil would be reasonable and just survive the race. Run at a sensible pace, make it across the finish line alive, and keep his mouth shut the next time some asshole reporter starts harassing him. Option two: Neil, because he is Neil, would try way too hard to keep up with the people who actually put in a lot of time training for these things. He would pull a muscle or pass out on the course, and Andrew would have to drag his ass to the nearest hospital, which would really throw a wrench in Andrew’s weekend plans of doing absolutely nothing. Not even to mention the absolute hissy fit Kevin would throw if Neil were injured. If Andrew were a betting man, his money would go to option two.

—

Wymack follows through on his threats, and Andrew is a protective asshole in love.

built this house on memories by modernpatroclus (T | 4,138 | 3/3)

Prompt: OMG when i was reading ur last andreil fic i started thinking “okay but what if neil woke up and didNT REMEMBER ANDREW” CAN U MAKE THIS HAPPEN I WILL PAY U

Or: Neil gets amnesia and can’t remember anything past the night he was drugged in Columbia.

Something Borrowed by Pi (Rhea) (T | 7,266 | 1/1)

After graduation, Neil and Andrew go on a road trip to return particular items to Neil’s mother’s contacts.

Or: two times Neil visited the Henrietta, Virginia.

Perfect by SpangleBangle (G | 1,547 | 1/1)

Ten years on, and things are just perfect.

But Broken Pieces Make Beautiful Mosaics by lipsstainedbloodred (T | 1,926 | 1/1)

Neil Josten is a broken, damaged thing. Pieces of a tattered personality and a traumatized mind, scared and skittish with one foot always out the door. And on Nathaniel Wesninski’s birthday, he runs.

Pillow Talk by zayndehaan for ohwhatanight (M | 3,826 | 1/1)

Neil finds a new fear, and doesn’t know how to bring it up without sounding foolish.

(a.k.a. lots of snuggling and banter and feelings)

Take Another Drag by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,233 | 1/1)

Andrew knows exactly who Travis is. Travis William Patterson, 27 years old, 6’3” backliner from middle of nowhere, Texas, current starter for the Boston Hurricanes, #9. As a matter of fact, Andrew is looking at him right now. ESPN is showing Exy highlights from last weekend, and Neil’s team just happens to be up at this very moment.

The Neil on screen has just performed some ridiculous move that absolutely should not have ended with a goal but somehow did, and he is immediately met with high-fives from his teammates and an affectionate-looking hug from Travis. Andrew can most certainly be objective, and this exchange looks pretty platonic. But Andrew is also a man attracted to men, and he has to admit that Travis is good looking. Really good looking.

Neil seems to be spending a lot of time with his new friend, and Andrew is Not Jealous.

dreamed in red by Frostandcoal (M | 7,261 | 1/1)

Four times the nightmares don’t win, and one time they almost do. Post-canon.

Minyard-Josten: A Rivalry For The Ages by dustbottle (M | 4,203 | 1/1)

After four years of playing together at Palmetto State University, Neil and Andrew end up on different professional teams. Neil is the new striker for the Atlanta Hawks; Andrew is goalie for the Boston Rebels. This is the story of their so-called rivalry.

Three guesses as to who starts the rumours.

(Spoilers: It’s Neil.)

Inside the Outsider by ouroboros for finkpishnets (M | 2,215 | 1/1)

It is little things like that that make this okay. Small rules, steps to follow: Pants staying buttoned, Neil’s hands where he can see them, no words but “Yes or no.” And, now, door locked. Check.

(Andrew looks back on the first time he does more than kiss Neil)

uncurling lifelines by Frostandcoal (M | 3,202 | 1/1)

That Andrew likes Neil being vocal in bed – that’s a key, and Neil intends to use it. This is something that Neil can give Andrew, a thing Andrew likes, that doesn’t involve touching or crossing boundaries Andrew is not yet ready for Neil to cross.

Besides, if Neil is good at anything besides Exy, it’s running his mouth.

Or: Neil learns that Andrew “I’m An Instigator At Heart And So Are You” Minyard might just like hearing Neil express not only his consent, but his enthusiasm, when they’re in bed.

back and forth by broship_addict (T | 2,573 | 1/1)

Years later Andrew and Neil find themselves revisiting Palmetto. It’s a lot more fun than Andrew’s ready to admit.

Lost Boy by the_ocean_burned (M | 6,401 | 1/1)

A look through Andrew’s eyes during some of the major events in the series.

Since I did use scenes and quotes from the series, I’m going to put a disclaimer on this one: All copyright rights to the characters, dialogue, and canon events belong solely to Nora Sakavic. I don’t own any of it; please don’t sue me. I’m broke.

The Self I Am by dustbottle (E | 5,536 | 1/1)

Though Neil and Andrew have been on the same professional team for years, the Minyard-Josten rivalry is still going strong. No one has caught wind of the truth of their relationship – but maybe it’s time for that to change.

(Or: Neil and Andrew decide to come out. This is how it happens.)

late night by Frostandcoal (G | 2,355 | 1/1)

People think that Exy “saved” him, but they are wrong. Exy is not a savior – there are no saviors for people like Andrew.

In which Andrew Minyard decides to pay it forward thanks to an all-night bodega, terrible ice cream choices and a cashier who just happens to play collegiate Exy.

out of breath by Frostandcoal for tycutiovevo (G | 3,418 | 1/1)

For tycutiovevo, who wanted Andreil in cold!weather, no angst. I hope you like this, bb! <3! <3!

Neil wants to live his life like he plays Exy – he wants the freedom to take chances, he wants the thrill of last-second goals, he wants the exhilaration of pushing his body to its limits, wants the ache and burn of every single bruise and scrape. His body is marked by other people’s cruelty and other people’s choices made on his behalf – he wants to cover it with the marks of the life he chose for himself.

Neil doesn’t understand what a “blizzard” is, and thinks it’s a good idea to go running in one. Andrew is not impressed.

Delayed Reaction by run_for_me (T | 3,035 | 1/1)

It’s been so long since he’s felt anything but affection for Nicky that he’d almost forgotten there was time when he’d been viscerally and intensely afraid of him.

In which the events of Neil’s first visit to Eden’s Twilight are finally addressed a year later.

I Want to Hold Your Hand by conniptionns (T | 5,009 | 4/4)

If this was Allison and Renee it would be cute and fluffy and very Across the Universe for this song, but it’s Andrew and Neil so

until the end of the world by broship_addict (T | 2,731 | 1/1)

Twenty years, two cats, and a whole lot of sports-related injuries later, they’re still home.

light it up by broship_addict (T | 1,879 | 1/1)

Neil Josten is probably the only person in the world capable of getting Andrew into an ugly Christmas sweater.

missing you (is all i am) by dustbottle (T | 2,677 | 1/1)

After graduating college, Andrew starts his professional Exy career as goalie for the Boston Rebels. Meanwhile, Neil is in his fifth and final year at Palmetto State University. Being apart turns out to be harder than either of them expected, and adjusting is a struggle.

When Neil visits Andrew in Boston, things come to a head.

maybe just the touch of a hand by niallszayn (G | 1,822 | 1/1)

All the Foxes come to Nicky and Erik’s wedding. Bets are made, and no one ever understands Andrew and Neil’s relationship.

Careless by Poteto (G | 1,474 | 1/1)

Matt likes to think Neil is done saying things that will get himself killed. Andrew disagrees.

way i tend to be by Frostandcoal (G | 1,665 | 1/1)

For erinaceinae-lutrinae on tumblr, who gave me the following prompt:

“Someone on Neil’s pro-team decides his nickname should be junior, and Neil does not take it well.”

Blossom Under Kindness by dustbottle (E | 3,433 | 1/1)

After Neil’s first year as a professional Exy player, Andrew and Neil spend their summer together in Columbia. There are good days and bad days. Today is a good day.

take my breath away (you know i’m bound to choke) by essenceofheroism (Not Rated | 1,620 | 1/1)

or the one in which andrew dreams neil runs away.

We Can Be Soft by SpookyMiscreant (M | 20,229 | 13/13)

Andreil and their daily lives. Fun ensues as always. Some of my HCs and some HCs from Tumblr. This has no plot or timeline please forgive me.

of being happy by artemis_west (E | 4,774 | 1/1)

On his flight home, Neil could barely sit still. He kept going back to his phone and staring at the message on his screen, the last one he’d received from Andrew:

I’ll be there.

Sounds Like a Good Excuse for Coming Home by OrdinaryVegan

Andrew is stressed, and Neil is problematic. Long-distance can be rather inconvenient, especially when your not-boyfriend is a murder magnet.

Summer Showers by Previously8 (T | 1,852 | 1/1)

Includes, but is not limited to: lots of staring, one (1) mention of chia seeds, Neil Josten’s new phone, the colours blue, green, and orange, talk of walls, a visit to Home Depot, and "452%”.

Rated T for swearing.

billboard. by lolainslackss (T | 2,940 | 1/1)

“Even when I turn away I can’t unsee it,” Aaron continued, his back to the rest of them, “It’s disgusting.”

…

Neil follows Kevin’s advice and agrees to be part of an ad campaign for Exy shoes. This ends up with Neil’s face on an eight-hundred-foot-wide moving billboard, and he’s not at all sure what to make of it. Neither is everyone else. Especially when Andrew notices everything.

Right Here in the Light by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,398 | 1/1)

It takes all of his willpower not to physically react from shock when he finds Piper curled up tightly on Andrew’s chest, King tucked behind the bend in her knees. His surprise is two-fold. First, he can’t believe he slept through another person being added into their bed. And second, he can’t believe that Andrew is actually asleep in his current position. His arm is wrapped tightly around Piper’s shoulders, the entirety of her small upper body resting on his chest. Neil can do nothing but stare in awe at the pair of them. He thinks of how far they’ve all come, each of them with their own unique struggles, and his sentimentality nearly gets the better of him.

“Staring,” comes Andrew’s low voice, disguised by disuse. All these years, and Neil still doesn’t know how he does that. His eyes aren’t even open. Ridiculous.

A few members of the domestic Andreil household find themselves awake in the middle of the night. In other words, Andrew Minyard is the best father in the universe, and no one will convince me otherwise.

this calls for a toast by Frostandcoal (G | 1,872 | 1/1)

Three years ago, Andrew Minyard threatened to kill her if she ever spoke to him. She hasn’t, but only because she’s had nothing to say.

Until today.

It’s Katelyn’s wedding day, and she’s got a little something to clear up with her brand-new brother-in-law.

As the Fire Spread by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,022 | 1/1)

Neil’s weight beside him is now familiar and even a comfort, sometimes. But on the occasions when Andrew’s senses are on overdrive and the smallest movement feels like an avalanche, an earthquake, a fucking planetary realignment, Neil knows better than to take Andrew’s abandonment personally.

Neil’s hoodie is thrown over the back of his desk chair, so Andrew makes his way over to dig out the pack of cigarettes from the pocket. He thinks he could light it with just the fire on the edge of his tongue, but he grabs a lighter from the drawer just in case.

—

Neil wants to help. Andrew just wants to breathe without feeling like his lungs will go up in flames.

Weddings and Other Kinds of Vows bya_case_for_wonder (T | 12,328 | 1/1)

“Lord, Andrew, you’d think you hadn’t been dating the guy for half a decade!” Nicky said. “When is he going to ask you to marry him, of course!” Andrew had known it was coming, but it still felt like the world slowed down a little. The question hung in the air between them like an ugly spell, until Andrew shook himself enough to answer. “He’s not going to ask me.“

Nicky is finally getting married, the third Fox wedding in as many years. Andrew is just trying to get through it, Neil is just trying to have a good time, but with all this love in the air, their friends keep insisting on asking questions they are Not Ready For. They try to work through it together.

Time is Standing Still by OrdinaryVegan (G | 1,441 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil have a daughter, and she is an actual ray of sunshine.

Leave Me on the Tracks by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,092 | 1/1)

If this had happened a few years ago, Andrew would have stood by and watched him leave. No argument, no attempted persuasion. Because that’s what people do. They leave, or they treat you badly enough that you leave first. People are never worth the trouble.

But not this time. The past decade with Neil has made Andrew come to terms with the fact that this means something. Andrew is rather shocked to find that he believes he himself should be enough to make Neil stay. That he is worthy of it. That he wants Neil to stay, and he will be damned if he lets him go without a fight. Andrew is asking. And if that won’t make Neil stay, nothing will.

In which Neil tries to protect Andrew, and Andrew tells him to get over his hero complex.

Patch Your Wounds by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,290 | 1/1)

“Really, Neil,” Andrew drawls. He could have chosen to phrase it as a question, but Neil knows he isn’t surprised. It’s more of an acknowledgement of Neil’s apparent inability to remain injury-free. “You’ve been here for less than forty-five seconds, and you’re already bleeding on my carpet.”

—

In which Neil is a klutz, the cats are a nuisance, and Andrew is his own special brand of helpful.

I Want You To Know by kayxpc (G | 733 | 1/1)

one love, one house by freefall for cats-are-assholes (T | 2,592 | 1/1)

It’s the little things that make an apartment into a home, that make a sequence of moments into a life.

Or, five times Andrew hates that damn couch, and one time he thinks it isn’t so bad.

Missed This (Not as much as You) by kayxpc (E | 2,087 | 1/1)

Neil and Andrew finally get a weekend off of their professional teams and pickup exactly where they left off.

Hidden by kayxpc (G | 2,000 | 1/1)

His Father’s Eyes by maeusetod (Not Rated | 3,012 | 1/1)

Sometimes Neil had thought about, when and under which circumstances he would hear the name Nathaniel again, but he had not expected it to happen like this.

Shut Up, Baby by aftgandreil (arituzz) (E | 693 | 1/1)

“Can you not call me Josten when we are about to have sex?” Neil protests, tugging the hem of his shirt up and over his head.

“What do you want me to call you, then? Asshole?” Andrew says with a smirk on his face, already taking his boxers off.

“Fuck, no. Just–” The advances they’ve made so far have been amazing, Neil thinks, engraving the sight of his naked lover in his head. He can’t help biting his lower lip at the vision in front of him. They’ve come this far, which is more than Neil could have ever hoped for. He guesses it won’t hurt to try for a tinsy little bit more. Locking his eyes with Andrew’s, he says, “Call me baby.”

restless by wesninski for lorcathegreat (G | 2,121 | 1/1)

It’s an expression of restlessness, the kind of bout of spontaneous recklessness at which Neil has always excelled. A new city with new teammates and a new apartment and new stress, and Neil turns to Andrew one summer night, the smell of cigarette smoke mingling with the perfume of Andrew’s flowers on the balcony because they haven’t picked the lock to the roof yet, and says, “let’s get out of here.”

Or: Andrew and Neil go on a road trip and bring the cats along. They should have just found a cat sitter.

if things went differently by yuhee (T | 1,810 | 1/1)

The day Neil Josten disappeared on the Foxes, he had died in a fire incident along with his father and his men. Or so they said. Because Andrew now sees the man in flesh and bones at a city in England after two years.

this place is a shelter by Joana789 (T | 1,786 | 1/1)

”Well,” Andrew says, and the answer feels raw on his tongue. ”Someone has to make sure you don’t run again.”

ask me no questions (and i might not cuss you out) by WingsOfWax (T | 2,77 | 1/1)

Neil’s and Andrew’s relationship becomes public - without their permission. It’s annoying because now they have to actually deal with it. Neil gets more than a little rude when someone asks the wrong kind of question.

"Call me Marcus; he’s strong and noble.” by AroPeterWam (E | 6,899 | 1/1)

“Which one is Sir Fat Cat McCatterson? And why does he have a long name? I like the name King Fluffkins, but isn’t that too many noble titles for the cats?” Marcus, slowly coming out of his shell reached under the coffee table for one of the cats. – In which Neil and Andrew come across a boy who might not be like any of their stray cats.

wake your ghost by Frostandcoal (G | 2,741 | 1/1)

“Kevin’s been obsessed with Riko Moriyama his entire life. It’s going to take more than a bullet to stop that.”

The amount of mental energy Kevin has wasted on Riko is like a faucet, and Andrew has yet to see any definitive proof that Kevin’s ready to turn off the pipes.

In which Kevin has Complicated Feelings ™, Neil does not approve, and Andrew does not care. And Andreil!Banter, for it is like crack unto me, and I love them :|

Close & Closer by kayxpc (E | 1,290 | 1/1)

Andrew & Neil map another safe place out in their relationship

You & Me by kayxpc (E | 782 | 1/1)

A bottom Andrew fic because the fandom is in need of more and I couldn’t get it out of my head.

Here With You by kayxpc (G | 295 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil sleep together after being apart for far too long

an acceptable surprise by kayxpc (G | 1,181 | 1/1)

permanent key//permanent home by kayxpc (T | 1,025 | 1/1)

Andrew visits Neil

She Was Found by OrdinaryVegan (T | 1,591 | 1/1)

"We’ve been over this and over this. We have looked at it from every possible angle. We agreed on this, that this is what we both want. You agreed to get over your daddy issues, and I agreed to actively ignore every parenting example I’ve ever had. Right?”

Neil nods his head once with a little too much force to be convincing. “Right.”

“Okay,” Andrew says, not really sure if it was loud enough for Neil to hear. He tightens his hand on Neil’s neck, pulling him closer until their foreheads are touching. Neil’s hand has made it up to hang off of his bicep, gripping like it’s the only thing keeping him on the ground. Andrew fights to keep his voice as even as possible. “Neil. You have to tell me that you’re in this all the way. This is permanent. Once we sign those papers, she is ours. Forever. I refuse to send her away. I will not be like them,” he says, fiercely. “Do you want this?”

AKA Piper: The Prequel

Sundays by celestia (G | 887 | 1/1)

A lazy sunday

something just like this by kayxpc (G | 566 | 1/1)

happy holidays from the foxes by artemis_westfor OneSweetMelody (G | 5,446 | 1/1)

This is my gift exchange for Jules, who wanted Fox family bonding during the holiday/post-grad! A fic set in the future after the books, when all the Foxes have their kids. They have a yearly reunion during the holidays! Soft andreil living their happy life, Andrew healing and having a better relationship with Aaron and Nicky, everyone is happy and sappy. Merry Christmas!

Always by merlypops for badtemperblue (G | 583 | 1/1)

“Am I annoying you?” “You always do,” Andrew said, cradling Neil’s cheek gently before he shoved his face away again. “Always, Josten.” Neil’s heart squeezed in his chest with something that felt dangerously like happiness. He was glad that name was still alive. He was glad he was still around to hear it. He was glad Andrew wasn’t gone.

Neil and Andrew on a plane. Fluff ensues.

smile, smile, smile by mikeymomoo (G | 744 | 1/1)

andrew is getting groceries and a fan spots him. he fucks with him.

All We Ever Knew by OrdinaryVegan (G | 1,317 | 1/1)

Robin comes to Neil for life advice, and he is surprisingly helpful.

Phone Calls by celestia (G | 3,339 | 1/1)

It’s Andrew’s birthday. Even though he and Neil don’t celebrate birthdays, Andrew always gets three phone calls on his birthday.

tell me pretty lies by kayxpc (G | 754 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil apartment shop after Andrew graduates.

out & proud by kayxpc (G | 1,417 | 1/1)

Same sex marriage is finally legalized in Germany and the foxes come to support Nicky and Erik! Lots of love and happiness in this fic, angst who?

Eventually by writerforlife (T | 850 | 1/1)

Eventually, Andrew Minyard found his version of happiness.

Weddings in Germany by kayxpc (G | 978 | 1/1)

all the foxes visit Germany for Nicky and Eriks wedding! :) pure andreil fluff ahead

New Places by Q_Jem_Bee (M | 937 | 1/1)

That was the greatest thing about this, about them.

They had all the time in the world.

[Podfic] right side of rock bottom byfrecklebombfic (frecklebomb) for Fleur Rochard (fleurrochard) (M | 20 | 1/1)

Author’s summary: Neil thinks it might be the first time he’s taken a breath in days.

Instead he has a team and a future and a home and Andrew.

(The last two might be interchangeable.)

Permanence by justapipe-dream (ginita105) (T | 702 | 1/1)

Neil wasn’t the reason for Andrew’s newfound stability, but he had been the eye opener. Neil had taught him that not all humans wanted to break the glass walls he built around himself, some had the decency to find the door and knock.

For the Vagabonds by OrdinaryVegan (T | 1,301 | 1/1)

Neil and Andrew versus the Maserati and the mountains.

Out by Q_Jem_Bee, shewhoisntnamed44 (G | 4,378 | 1/1)

Chris was lucky enough to have a co-worker who Neil Josten owed a favour to – and was about to launch her journalism career through the roof.

Beg and Borrow and Steal by OrdinaryVegan (T | 3,349 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil are dragged into a school dance by their certified Sassmaster and Ray of Sunshine daughter.

pull me back by thetinyconstellation for lethargicawe (T | 2,032 | 1/1)

Neil has a bad day and his boyfriends do what they can to help. Well, if he lets them.

Children of the Universe by aceaaronminyard (necklace) (Not Rated | 1,630 | 1/1)

in which aaron and andrew figure their shit out with only a minimal amount of bruises

“If Aaron is being honest, Andrew looks like a spawn of Death herself; dark and weathered and just as lethal. Aaron smiles cruelly at the glare Andrew fixes him, and for the first time in months, feels galaxies explode in his lungs and make a home under his fingernails.”

mel i mató by R_Gunns (T | 1,934 | 1/1)

Being away from Andrew was harder than Neil had anticipated. Missing him was loud, thinking about him was like a cacophony of sounds, a discordant mess of sensory memories that Neil couldn’t make sense of.

(Neil’s final year at Palmetto is over, and he’ll be moving in with Andrew soon. In the meantime, he pines.)

home (is whenever i’m with you) by nightquills for apear55 (G | 2,067 | 1/1)

It’s been weeks since he saw Andrew last, and Neil can’t wait to finally see him in person, have him near, hear his voice without the tinny echo of a phone call between them.

Neverland is home to lost boys like me byjustapipe-dream (ginita105) (G | 627 | 1/1)

‘Oh, how lucky you are,’ it said, ‘Two lost boys found their Neverland in each other.’

proper punishment for an angel by artemis_west (E | 5,912 | 1/1)

Neil’s mouth gets him in trouble. What else is new?

In which… by Nikotheamazingspoonklepto (Not Rated | 22,238 | 1/1)

…the Foxes get the love they deserve. ~ This fic is a story of growth, character development, and happiness, where Neil loves his Fox family in varying degrees, ranging from platonic to romantic or sexually. Beginning at the start of Neil’s Sophomore year at PSU, he is becoming more confident, self-assured, and a happy person, supported by his original Fox family and learning how to be a leader toward the six Freshman that arrived at PSU.

Ice Cream by kayxpc (E | 944 | 1/1)

Nora’s tweets have inspired andreil smut. It’s what they deserve.

[Podfic] The Name Game by frecklebombfic (frecklebomb) for Fleur Rochard (fleurrochard) (G | 18 | 1\1)

Author’s summary: What happens when Andrew and Neil change the names on their jerseys.

Independence Day by imagined_melody (G | 1,054 | 1/1)

Neil Josten graduates from Palmetto State University on May 12—five years to the day after he arrived.

In which a life transition falls on an important date, and Neil deals with the prospect of his life changing again.

To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it bywesninskids (Not Rated | 2,203 | 1/1)

Some nights, Kevin Day jerks awake with the weight of his past. These nights, Neil’s there to pull him back to the present.

Sunday Mornings by cleopatras (T | 1,178 | 1/1)

how Neil and Andrew spend a Sunday morning in their home in San Clemente

three keys by lovelyloss (T | 516 | 1/1)

andrew thinks about the three keys neil and him share. [my descriptions are bad whoops]

Another Lonely Christmas by SpookyMiscreant (G | 1,112 | 1/1)

This is a gift for ten-paces-fire for the aftg winter exchange! Kevin is stuck playing Exy overseas instead of in Columbia with his family for christmas.

this is it by morticianists (T | 207 | 1/1)

the future isn’t as bleak as it used to be.

Neil is forbidden to have a relationship with Andrew by his new contract by Vinjana (G | 586 | 1/1)

Neil, who joined Andrew’s team, doesn’t read his contracts…

a haze of fleeting moments by luna_lovegood (G | 2,666 | 1/1)

Renee looked at her as she sat up on the couch and undid her braid, eyes bright and lips stained red. “Alright,” Renee agreed. “That sounds like fun. Do you have any nail polish?”

“Chanel or Essie?” Allison shot back and smirked.

(Or, five moments Renee spent with people she cared about.)

“Why did you name it Burrito?’ by AroPeterWam (Not Rated | 6,828 | 1/1)

“So, is this language barrier ever going to end?” It was Dan who spoke, seemingly entertained by them as she rubbed her temples. – Marcus meets the Foxes and other issues his dads help him through.

You Found Me by howmanyshipscanashippership ( T | 1,539 | 1/1 )

Andrew wakes up a few days after the Foxes win the championships from a nightmare. He wants to look to Neil for comfort and wonders when that became a thing. He falls back asleep and remembers various scenes from when Andrew first met Neil and then things some more about that. Andrew never says to Neil "I love you" but it is heavily implied.... so cannon compliant.

#masterlist #postcanon #i am so sorry this took forever but phew there was a lot of them #andreil #andrewminyard #neiljosten #kandreil #kevinday #renison #reneewalker #allisonreynolds #theme:postcanon

608 notes · View notes

ehstarwar · 4 years

Text

flesh stays no farther reason (3/6)

Absent his post, their lives would have never collided. Rey had no place in his life.

And yet… he kept talking to her. Kept asking for more time. How do you tell someone that their attention is killing you while simultaneously being the only thing keeping you alive?

Five times Ben looks for Rey and the one time she finds him.

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 6.5K

Read on AO3

ur lying

I’m not, actually.

u have to be bc if ur not lying then i can never fuck u again

Okay, then I’m lying.

you don’t read any fanfic?? like ever?

Why bring yourself more pain?

um fanfic TAKES AWAY the pain

i stg the only reason i still watch Galaxy Battles is bc

the fanfic authors are so fckin good

Rey smiles at her phone for what feels like the thousandth time that day. Plutt’s already yelled at her twice about being on her phone in front of customers, but, no one is in the shop right now and Plutt went home. There’s only 10 minutes to close, so Rey keeps herself occupied with closing procedures and tries not to get too worked up about her and Ben’s conversation.

In the two days since they last saw each other, they hadn’t stopped talking. They talked all day about inane things or cute pets that she saw on her way to work or societal issues and if Ben had the technology to rig the election so the orange ball of racism would be decidedly removed from office. Not yet, he’d said, but believe me, I’m trying.

Their latest discourse about Galaxy Battles had started when Rey admitted to creeping on his other Reddit post, including one of how the original trilogy would forever be superior to either the prequel or sequel trilogy. He was wrong of course, but somehow Rey berating his views of the evil emperors return from the grave had devolved into a discussion on Ben’s fan fic reading, or lack thereof.

imma send you some links to some works you

HAVE to read

honestly they changed the way i view

galaxy battles

but you HAVE to kudos and comment on them

after you read them

its fanfic etiquette

While that does sound fun, I can think of something

slightly more useful to do with my time.

um actually u can’t

but enlighten me anyways

See you again?

I’m off work for the next 36 hours if you’re free.

Rey stopped dead in her tracks.

Yes, her heart screamed, go to Ben!

No, her brain declared, you’ve already gone too far with him.

For someone she’d only met twice, Ben was occupying a lot of her thoughts recently. Everything Ben had done thus far in no way indicated that he was going to ghost Rey. Except, of course, the posting on reddit to find someone to fuck sans feelings. Which was hard the second time and would be damn near impossible the third.

If she met up with Ben, they would have sex. It was the very base nature of their relationship. Not that he would want it to be called a relationship at all. He would be sweet and fuck her so well, not even her wildest fantasy would hold up. He would buy her food and let her sleep in a comfy bed. Then, when their time was up, he would go work at his high paying job and schmoozing with the Coursant elite and she would go back to work at an Auto shop that was listed as a laundromat in the yellow pages.

Absent his post, their lives would have never collided. Rey had no place in his life.

And yet… he kept talking to her. Kept asking for more time. How do you tell someone that their attention is killing you while simultaneously being the only thing keeping you alive?

Don’t do it, her brain whispered again. Protect yourself from the hurt; it’s what you’re good at.

But something about Ben made it very hard for Rey to listen to reason.

sure, i’m free.

Ben is a foot taller than anyone else on the sidewalk. He glowers over everybody else, most people giving him a wide berth of space. He’s frowning down at his phone, typing so furiously that Rey is almost too scared to say anything.

“Ben?” She hazards, after a moment. Ben’s head instantly snaps up, and the frown dissipates. It’s replaced by a soft half-smile that makes something flutter in Rey.

“Rey,” He says, looking at her, up and down. Last time, Rey had chosen not to change when coming from work, this time she did not have that luxury. Even if the pair of overalls she was currently sporting were slightly newer than that pair, it was still a potato sack in comparison to Ben’s designer suit.

“Sorry… I, uh, didn’t expect to be doing much after work,” Rey says sheepishly. Ben looks confused, so she clarifies. “I would’ve changed, but…”

“I think you look perfect,” he simply states. She gulps. After a terse minute, Rey rolls her eyes and playfully slaps his arm, hoping to move on from this with some self-deprecation; a superpower of hers.

“Oh whatever. So, should we head to the hotel, or did you have something else in mind?” She asks.

“I’ve made the mistake of not feeding you beforehand twice now, it’s not an error I’m willing to make again. I thought we could have dinner first before.” Ben gestures to the restaurant on the other side of the street. The windows are blacked out, and the valet is wearing gloves. The hostess stand alone looks like it cost the same as a year’s worth of Rey’s rent.

“That’s a lovely idea, but… I can’t go in there.”

“Do you not like their menu? I could have the chef prepare something better, if you-”

“You really don’t see why I can’t go in there?” Rey asks, flabbergasted.

“No,” Ben simply states.

Rey has attempted, her entire life, to make as little of a scene as possible. Some may confuse this for timidness or meekness, but Rey knows better. Her ability to go though life making the least trouble possible for herself is one of the only reasons she’s been able to make it this far. It’s not shyness or second-hand embarrassment that holds her back (god knows she’s faced that enough in her life); it’s the desire to go on living life without creating trouble. Ben, it seems, does not understand that.

“Ben, regardless how you feel I look, the people in the restaurant will balk if they see someone like me, looking like this, walk into a restaurant that serves one dish that is more expensive than my apartment. I can’t go in there.”

“Why do you do that?” Ben asks, looking terse and unhappy. “First at the hotel, now here. You act like you don’t belong somewhere.”

“I don’t belong here.”

“You do. You’re here, so you belong here.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It could be, if you wanted it to.”

Rey sighs. This isn’t a conversation she’s willing to have with him, certainly not on the sidewalk during rush hour on a Thursday, and there’s a sinking feeling in her gut that Ben will not drop this without creative thinking on Rey’s part.

She scratches the back of her neck, looking anywhere but Ben. He’s stare at her, waiting for her to respond, giving her his undivided attention. It heats her cheeks.

“You know, I actually had a restaurant I was really looking forward to eating at for dinner; why don’t we just go there instead? If you really want to eat your… fancy food stuff, I can just meet you back at the hotel.” Ben’s frown falls slightly, replaced with a look of neutrality, and Rey represses a sigh of relief.

“I don’t care about eating there, Rey, I want to eat with you.”

“Okay, then Waffle House it is.”

It was comical how large Ben looked inside. The harsh, bright lighting made his hair look shinier than Rey had ever seen it, and he barely even fit in the small booth covered in yellow linoleum. When he grabs a laminated menu off the rack, Rey chuckles.

“Is it safe to assume you’ve never been to a waffle house before?” She asks, head cocked sideways. He shoots her a dirty look.

“I’m not entirely uncluttered, you know. I frequented the local waffle house plenty of times in undergrad.” Ben holds up the large plastic card in front of his face.

“If that were true, you wouldn’t need to look at the menu.” Rey pulls the menu down to the table and gives him a sweet smile. He softens at that.

“In my defense, it’s been a while,” He shrugs.

“Well, nothings changed. I’m pretty sure these were the same menus they used in the eighties.”

Ben inspects the menu carefully before putting it down. A older server comes over, giving them drinks (an orange juice for them both, Ben begrudges), and taking their order before leaving them. For the first time since she’s met Ben, the silence is uncomfortable.

“How was your day?” He asks after a moment. Rey is still looking at her chipped fingernail polish when she answers.

“Fine… long, I guess. It was my ninth day in a row,” She tells him. His gaze darkens.

“That’s criminal.”

She shrugs. “I get the next two days off so, it’s not totally unexpected. How was you day?”

“Busy. My bosses boss is visiting in a few weeks, so the office is in a state of chaos.”

“And yet you somehow stumbled upon 36 hours off?”

“An imposition from HR. I’ve accumulated enough sick leave to last a few lifetimes. When my boss got the memo, he sent me home. Told me to rest up for the weeks ahead.”

“Someone who’s accrued that much sick leave must have worked a lot more than nine days straight,” She taunts. “That’s criminal.” Ben rolls his eyes, but the corners of his mouth twitch.

Another moment of silence passes, making Rey squirm in her seat.

“I think I need to apologize, for earlier,” She says. Ben looks confused. “It was sweet of you to ask me out to dinner in your limited time off. I should’ve reacted… better.”

One of his large hands reaches the short distance across the table to grip hers. Her hands are dwarfed by his, so she stares down at them instead of looking up at him.

“I’m sorry, too. I can be… callous when it comes to others feelings. I should’ve warned you instead of thinking you’d blithely go along with my plans.” When Rey finally looks up, Ben is looking at her with the sweetest and softest expression.

Okay, her brain concedes, this is nice.

“I do have to admit,” he continues after a minute, “my intentions are not entirely virtuous.”

“I certainly hope not,” Rey grins, “because neither are mine.”

He brings her to a different hotel this time. Something much more modern and cool. None of the employees are wearing outfits too ostentatious, but Rey has a sneaking suspicion that the level of service is probably the same. The valet seems to be expecting them, despite Ben having made no calls during or after their meal, and hands Ben the keys to the room.

Only when they’re in the elevator, away from prying eyes, does Rey mention anything.

“Why the change of venue?” She asks.

“The views from here are better. You can see the skyline much more clearly from our floor,” Ben tells her. Rey scoffs.

“Plan on spending a ton of time looking out the window, are we?”

Ben quirks a brow down at her. His eyes turn predatory and Rey can feel her cunt throb. He slowly backs her into the wall of the elevator, pressing his front flush with hers, arms going out to cage her in.

“I think it’ll be a nice view for you when I fuck you against the window.”

Heat licks up her spine. His face is only a few centimeters away from her, but he keeps his lips to himself. He traces the side of her jaw with his nose, letting his lips skim across her skin, but never stopping.

“You told me once… that I deserved a bed…” her voice is unsteady when she uses it. Ben pulls back slightly, and brings his wrist up to check his watch.

“We still have about 34 hours left,” He replaces his hand and looks back down at Rey, “I think we can fit a few places in.”

His lips have only just brushed hers when the elevator chimes that they’re on their floor.

“You like this,” He whispers in the shell of her ear. “Being held up, open for any and all to see…” His cock drags inside her once again and Rey gasps. The glass is cold against her hand, and she can see her breath fogging up the window. Ben tightens his grip on her hips as he slowly pulls out of her again, making her whine.

“What was that? I didn’t quite catch that, baby.” He says, pressing a wet kiss to the top of her shoulder.

“Please, daddy…” Her hands clutch at the glass. “Faster… please,” She begs. She’s rewarded with a few quick thrusts. Her head lulls back, making him kiss at her throat.

“Good girl… asking so nicely,” He murmurs. Rey can feel a twitch of an orgasm approaching her.

“Gonna… make me… come, daddy…” She breaths. Ben snakes a hand downwards, until it finds her clit. He rubs her with soft strokes, flaming the fire within her. She tries to grind down on his hand, but Ben thrust into her harshly again keeping her where she it.

“Come on, baby…” he mumbles, “come all over me… above everyone…” His thrust move in time with the strokes on her clit, and the air in her lungs is sucked out as she tumbles into an orgasm. She’s boneless as he works her through it, still stroking her and pounding into her. She can feel the control slipping from his hands, the movements becoming erratic.

Rey can feel his muscles straining against her over-heated skin. Their bodies are sweaty, only adding to the sound of wet skin slapping against each other. It feels like she’s floating when coming down from her high. Ben grips her tighter as he begins to come, putting fresh bruises in her skin with his fingertips.

His mouth finds the back of her neck, and she can feel his teeth clenched as he comes. He grunts into her skin as his cock twitches within her; she can already feel the warmth of his come seeping downwards. Ben holds her hips flush with his as he continues to pump her full of him. He puts one hand on the font of her lower abdomen, and instinctively, she places her hand over his.

“I can feel myself… like this,” he says, mouth still against her neck. “I can feel myself inside of you… fuck…” he whispers. She strokes the back of his hand with her thumb as Ben regains his breath; trying to comfort him for reasons she didn’t understand.

His breath is hot against her neck, but she loves it. Love the feeling of him alive and hot against her. It fills her with a fuzzy feeling she’s unused to.

“Do you think that’s enough?” He asks, dryly. Rey ignored his comment and continued filling the ridiculously large tub with even more bubbles. The bottom of the tub is hard beneath her knees as she waddles her way over to the faucet, pouring the remaining soap underneath, filling the air with lavender.

Ben sits on the other side, arms stretched out of the tub, one knee just above the surface of the bubbles. Even though his comment was sarcastic, the expression on his face is soft. It makes Rey want to melt.

When she finishes adding every soap that was on the counter to the boiling hot water, she scoots herself in between his open legs. Her back leans onto his chest, head cradled on his shoulder, while his arms come down to wrap around her midsection, hands resting on her thighs.

“I don’t get to take baths like this. I think it’s only fair I add whatever soap I want to,” She says, once she’s comfortable. Ben only hums in response. He traces his nose on her wet hairline, lips brushing her skin every so often. If the plastic of the tub weren’t so hard on her ass, Rey would’ve fallen asleep.

After their tryst on the window, Ben had ushered her into the bathroom to clean her up. Ben notices as soon a her eyes landed on the tub that took up a solid quarter of the room, and silently obliged to bathe with her.

Ben’s hands begin massaging her thighs, so she does the same. Her hands seek him out, and land on the thick, corded, muscular tops of his thighs, hands tickled by the sparse hair there.

“Mmmm…” She mumbles, while feeling him up, “I want to ride your thighs later.” She feels him smile against her skin.

“Okay,” He says, voice low. She feels it rumble from his chest and sinks further into him. She can feel his cock, already half-hard again, against the small of her back, but Ben does nothing to indicate that he wants to move any time soon, so she ignores it.

His hands come up to caress her torso, fingers brushing just on the underside of her breast as they work in a rhythmic pattern. Her skin feels hyper-sensitive everywhere he’s touching her; against her back, his hands on her torso, his legs against hers. She wonders, idly, if he’s as unused to this kind of intimacy as she is. It’s not a secret that the two of them need to physically feel each other whenever they’re together. Rey is curious if this is one of the few ways he experiences intimacy, as it is for her.

“Ben?” She asks. He hmm’s against her, nose still tracing the side of her face. “You don’t… do this… with other people, do you? I don’t think you do, but… I’m curious.”

To his credit, Ben doesn’t really falter in his movements. There is a slight pause as soon as the words escape out of her mouth, but he resumes so quickly, Rey isn’t even sure the hesitation happened.

“Would you be jealous if I said yes?” He asks.

Her entire body stiffens. The water, hot against her skin, suddenly feels like ice.

“I don’t,” Ben says quickly, clearly attuned to the change in her demeanor. She relaxes again, but keeps slightly on edge.

“Why not?” She prods further, “It’s not like there’s anything holding you back.”

She feels him sigh beside her. His hands suddenly wrap around her hips, twisting her until she’s facing him and seated in his lap. The steam from the bath has formed sweat all over his skin, so he’s practically glowing in the yellow light. He looks like a greek god; full of imperfections that suit him perfectly. Her mouth goes dry at the sight.

“Do you want me to have… this, with anyone else?” He questions. Rey has to bite her lip from screaming absolutely fucking not!

“Does it matter what I think?” She counters. His eyes narrow at her.

“It does to me.”

Rey softens. Her hands come up to trace the features of his face, down to the hard planes of his chest that peak above the water.

“We’re treading in dangerous water, Ben,” She says before looking up at him. He smirks lightly.

“I think there’s a little too much soap in here, but I hardly think that makes it unsafe,” He jokes, playfully looking around the tub. She splashes him with soapy water, giggling in his lap. He holds her tighter, then bringer her closers to him to kiss her.

Kissing him is many things at one; it’s hot and sweet, promising yet daunting, full of emotion that words can’t convey, but above all, it feels so, so good. The kind of goodness that Rey has searched for in every person and yet to find. It’s terrifying, but she does it anyway.

They make out for a while, hands roaming over pruny bodies, until he’s fully hard again and Rey is wet enough to sink right onto him. They both loose their breath at the sensation, lips still touching but not quite kissing. After a minute, she begins to move, working herself up and down onto him in an unhurried pace. It makes the stretch of him even more pronounced and hot.

His hands guid her hips, and she complies, moving in any direction he so chooses. They only break from each others mouth to kiss at different part of skin; both going for the neck. She leave bites and bruises and he does the same. I hope they’re purple and huge, she thinks; I hope they last forever.

After a while, he whines into her mouth, needy and desperate.

“There is nothing… like coming in you… take me so well… such a good girl…”

She grind down harder on him, liking this desperate, pleading thing hie’s become.

“Wanna make you… full of me… mark you with… my come… would you let me? Let me- fuck- let me fill you… over and over… until you’re mine? Would you?”

She nods against him, telling him “Yes… yes… I’m yours.”

“I have tomorrow off, too. I don’t know if I mentioned that,” She tells him once they’re dry and in bed. She didn’t exactly plan for this, so she has no clothes of her own to change into, but Ben seems more than happy to let her snag his white undershirt from earlier. With no panties, of course.

“You did,” he mumbles against her stomach. She’s lying on her back with Ben’s head on her stomach, kissing her skin through the fabric. Rey had one hand brushing though his silky hair, the other holding her phone up as she text Rose.

hey, I won’t be home tonight, Ben called me again

i don’t think i’ll be home tomorrow either, but i’ll

keep u posted

…

are u sure its healthy to be spending this much

time with him?

wasn’t it supposed to be a one night stand?

yeah but the sex is good so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

why don’t u invite Finn over since u have

the place to urself??

don’t try and divert. I’m worried about u

I don’t want u to get hurt, regardless if

the dick too bomb

Rey doesn’t respond. She doesn’t know how to. She wants to accuse Rose of having a secret mic into Rey’s inner most thought and using them against her, but even she knows that’s crazy. Instead, she puts her phone down and luxuriates in the weighted blanket that is Ben.

They’ve been asleep for hours, but it’s still dark out. Rey is secretly thankful for the stormy weather outside, like it gives her an excuse to stay in this bubble with Ben. He’s still snoring softly, head buried between her shoulder and neck. She thinks of their second conversation when he told her he lean’s towards domination. Defiantly a switch, she thinks. Ben has wrapped himself around her, practically suffocating her with his embrace.

Rey loves it.

His face is buried in her cunt. So much so that she’s worried he’ll never resurface. He licks with sure, hard strokes, noes rubbing at her clit. It’s a cataclysmic rush of sensations that has her mewling and writing above him. She can see from the corner of her eye, him bucking his hips into the mattress beneath them. And she’s fucking jealous of it. A mattress.

“Ben…” She whines, high pitched and needy, no real message to convey, just liking the way his name feels rolling off her tongue. He grunts against her and sucks her clit.

Her hands tug his hair, trying not to be too rough, but knowing that he liked to be pushed a bit. His teeth graze her labia as a warning, but she pays it no mind. Rey tries to wedge a leg under him, so that she can feel the hardness between his legs and maybe even give him some relief. Ben obliges, using a hand to guide her leg under him, so that his cock brushes against the back side of her calf when he thrusts.

The threat of orgasm is imminent, marching towards her quickly and not giving her time to even breath. Her fingers find the shell of his ear, and Rey remembers how endearing she found it when they got red after sex. Her thumb caress his ears, hands covering them.

Ben looses his mind.

His bucking becomes more wild and his tongue more sure. Rey is stung into her orgasm when his teeth gently nip at her clit, either purposefully or not, and she can feel the hot come from Ben coat her leg.

It’s an overwhelming rush of sensations.

His come spurting out onto her skin and the sheets, his face now sopping with her juices, one of his hands holding her stomach down, the other holding her leg so that he can empty himself on her.

He’s gasping against her as his body shudders. She feels the last few gentle twitches of his cock against her calf before he stops moving and basically melts on top of her.

“Sorry… it was- my ears are- it was so good…” he says, still breathless. Rey makes an experimental stroke of her thumb along the shell of his ear once more, causing Ben to whine but not asking her to stop. She wonders how quickly he could come again, maybe just like this, but decides to save that hypothesis for a later date.

Instead, she holds him as he weakly climbs up to be closer to her.

Rey groans when she rolls over to an empty bed. Her stomach drops and suddenly her whole body is alert, immediately shaking off any remnant of sleep. She sits up quickly, panic running down her spine, mouth already open and dry with fear.

Thankfully, she spots Ben right away.

He’s sitting at the desk, typing on a computer, face illuminated only by the light from the screen. He looks so focused and Rey hesitates for a moment, considering weather or not to disturb him from his work. Screw it, she thinks, I only have him for a few more hours; his work can wait.

She gets up on unsteady legs, taking a moment to peak from behind the blinds. It look early out, even in the grey pouring rain. She slowly makes her way over to Ben, who still hasn’t noticed that she’s awake. She shuffles her feet, trying to make more noise as not to scare him before placing her hand on his shoulder.

Ben’s back straightens, and he looks up to Rey, who is pulling his rolling chair back and climbing into his lap with no resistance from him. He’s naked still, she notes, and so is she. She straddles his lap and brings her hands to his biceps. His mouth seeks hers out instantly, pressing wet kisses against her lips.

“Why are you… not… in bed?” She questions between kisses, trying to to sound too petulant. Judging by his chuckle, she’s clearly failed.

“I had some work to wrap up,” He tells her, hands now roaming her bare back. She glances at the clock, flashing a bright 6:43.

“You still have… 24 hours of… your weekend left… no work,” She says, sighing into his mouth. He pulls back, and her mouth instinctively goes to chase it, but stops when she sees him slightly smiling at her.

“You were asleep; I figured I could multitask. After all, you’ll need your strength for everything I have planned for today,” Ben tells her, voice going low. Rey surpasses a shiver.

“Plans?” She questions. He nods. “Care to enlighten me on these plans?”

“Well, you mentioned something about riding my thigh earlier, and I figured if you’re going to ride that, my face might feel left out so we should add that to the list,” Ben says, making Rey chuckle. “Then my cock might feel neglected also, so you should probably ride that at some point too. And I did have a dream about what my come might look like on your tits, so, I think today would be a good day to find out.”

Rey throws her head back laughing and Ben adjusts his hold on her, squeezing her tighter to him.

“So, as you can see, you’ll need your strength if we’re going to get through all of that today, Ms. Niima,” He taunts. Rey brushes some hair behind his ears, fingers purposefully ghosting them and making him shudder.

“That sounds like an excellent plan, Mr. Solo. What should we start with first?” She questions, already feeling his cock twitch where it rests between the two of them.

“Anything you want, Ms. Niima; I’m yours for the taking.”

Rey considers him for a moment, even though she’s already made up her mind. She squirms in his lap before settling her self firmly on one of his tree-trunk legs and begins grinding down. Her cunt is still puffy and slightly sore from all their… activities, but the feeling of his muscles beneath her is too delicious to pass up. She grinds her self until she is slick and wet against him. Ben drops his head to her shoulder, breathing deeply. She thinks of how much his words affect her when he’s the one talking, so she decides to give it a try.

“One of the first things I noticed about you… was your thighs,” She starts. “They’re so fucking strong, even in your pants. I didn’t know how to ask for it, that first night. But I couldn’t get it out of my head.”

Ben’s hands go to grope her ass, squeezing, as he breaths heavily against her sternum. His thigh is covered in her now, and she moves with a sicking wet sound that fills the room.

“I tried everything, after that. I humped pillows, tried to get off on the edge of my bed, even considered buying a sex doll just to recreate what your thigh would feel like,” She admits, voice becoming breathless as her movements pick up. Ben’s cock is red and twitching now, leaving a drop of precome on his stomach where it bumps against. Rey works faster now, fingers digging into the meat of his shoulder, no doubt leaving red slits in their wake.

“I thought about messaging you every night, trying to come up with some eloquent way to beg you to ride your thigh into oblivion. Even if it’s all you would give me; I wanted you dripping in my come like I’m covered in yours.”

“Rey,” he warns. She can feel herself approaching orgasm, so she readjust her hips to get her clit to hit his skin with every stroke. She gasps and feels Ben’s teeth on her neck.

“Want you… to wear my come… all day… soak it into your skin…so it stays,” She moans out, finding it harder to speak the closer she gets.

“Yes… yes, please…” Rey hears him beg. She can feel his cock so hard against her, but he’s brought no relief to himself in the form of his hand. She resist the urge to grab him and jerk him off, deciding it’ll be much more satisfying to see him come without her even touching it.

She moves quicker now, searching for that peak, and finds it so fast it scares her. Her orgasm wreaks through her body, sizzling down her spine and making her cunt clench and drip onto his thigh. Her hand goes to grip it, holding Ben’s thigh someone even closer between her, and letting her juices flow onto him. Ben comes too, with a cry into her skin. His cock twitches desperately as the white fluid spurts out of him, coming up to coat her abdomen. A rouge stripe of come lands on his shoulder where it’s bent to lean down onto her, and she licks it up without hesitation.

They sit together, not moving for a moment, catching their breath. Ben breaths heavily onto her skin as she licks up the sweat beads that have formed on the side of his throat. She whispers sweet endearment of good boy and thank you for coming for me. She uses a hand to trace up his spine to the back of his head, feeling Ben become putty in her embrace.

It’s a power trip unlike anything she’s experienced before.

Rey doesn’t tell him then, but she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they will be doing that again.

“Tell me what your childhood was like.”

She doesn’t know why she asks him. They had been silent for a while, but the conversation preceding the question had nothing to do with that topic. But still, the words bubble and spill out of her without a chance for Rey to begin them in.

She’s lying on top of Ben, listening to the soft thudding of his heartbeat, while some old Galaxy Battles that just happened to be on TV is playing. His hands a tracing her spine, occasionally dipping lower to kneed at her ass. His hands have stoped, midway down her back, but resume quickly.

“It was… loud,” He says, prompting Rey to push herself up to stare at him. “My mother is… popular, you could say. There was always something going on at our house. Meetings that turned into dinners that turned into parties that turned into more meetings. There was always so many people around that I didn’t know. But my father…” Ben trails off for a moment. “He didn’t like it either. So he’d leave for weeks at a time. Sometimes I think my mother didn’t even notice. God knows she didn’t notice me.” Something bitter traces his voice so Rey hums against his skin. “I was… not considered much, when I was with them. An extra bag they needed to pack whenever they went away.

Rey nuzzles her face into his chest, wanting to skin within his skin and give his heart a hug.

“I left home when I was 18 and didn’t speak to either of my parents for 10 years. The only reason I even started speaking with my mother again is because…” Ben takes a moment, and Rey lets him. “My father died.”

Rey doesn’t breath, unwilling to even move slightly and disturb whatever trace Ben seemed to be in.

“I was the first person my mother called to tell. That had never happened before. It was… strange.” She feels Ben shift beneath her, but his eyes still remain closed. “Our relationship is still awful, but we talk more now. Mostly her berating me for my career choices or asking for grandchildren, but… it’s talking.”

Rey hugs him. Squeezes him so tightly she’s worried he’ll bruise, but Ben doesn’t seem to mind.

“I’m an orphan,” She offers, after a moment. “My parents dropped me off at a fire station when I was two. Or… they think I was two. All they left was a piece of paper that said ‘Rey.’ Supposedly the state searched for my parents for a while, trying to track them down, but I’m not really sure that’s true. I was sent to Jakku when I was five and I grew up in a junkyard there. That’s why I’m a mechanic. I learned how to spot parts that were salvageable since I was a pre-teen. It’s the only thing I was ever good at.”

Her quiet admission hangs heavy in the air.

Slowly, she feel’s Ben roll them over so that he’s above her and her back is on the bed. His eyes are sad when they look down at her, and suddenly Rey realizes her eyes have tears in them too. Ben kisses away her tears, lips soft against her skin.

“You’re good at so much, Rey. More than even I know. So, so good. Don’t ever say that again, please.”

Ben’s plea pierces her heart with such a sharp precision, it feels like she’s been shot.

All at once, every fear that Rey had before meeting Ben comes rushing back. The feeling both of them were trying to avoid, crash around her like an avalanche, and Rey is stuck in the cold, hard ice. Somehow Rey knows that this was meant to happen. That she was meant to be on that Reddit page and refresh just in time to see his post and meet him in that fancy bar and fuck him in that gaudy room and do everything they’ve done together.

Ben kisses her as she realizes that there will be no soft break from this. That wherever this ends will hurt. It’ll break her even. But, even scarier than that, Rey is more than willing to let Ben do that.

“Don’t leave.”

It’s morning. Almost 7. The sun is just starting to peak behind the curtains. The bed is warm where they’ve laid and fucked and made love and held each other all night. The sound of a cart being placed outside of their door is the only besides the fan and their breathing. His hair tickles her face. His arms have wrapped around her so tightly she’s not sure she’ll ever break from his embrace.

“Don’t leave,” She whispers again.

He’s still snoring. He can’t hear her. She says it again anyway.

“Don’t leave me.”

The bacon is still hot by when Ben pulls the breakfast cart in. It’s full of wonderful looking food that Rey would gladly devour on any other day. But she can only bring herself to nibble at the fatty bacon that drips grease down her hand.

Ben is all but ready to go, his suit jacket hanging on the other side of his chair and shoes still waiting by the door. He’s go Rey in his lap and hands digging into the cup of greek yoghurt. He hasn’t stopped touching her since they’ve woken up. They showed together, he ate her out, she brought him off with her hand, they had to re-shower, and now they were enjoying a quiet breakfast. Her hair was still wet and dripping into his discarded bathrobe. She refused to wear her own, and Ben had happy obliged when she asked to put his on after he took it off.

He kisses her neck sometimes and she tries to take inconspicuous sniffs of his hair.

It’s nice outside, if a bit hot. Ben has to be at work in an hour. Rey still has today off. He’s got a busy few weeks ahead. She’s got the same monotonous tasks ahead of her for the foreseeable future. He offered to extend the room reservation so that she could keep it tonight. She declined. He extended it anyways.

She’s met him three times. They’ve talked about some of the deepest trauma any person can go through. They’ve argued about fan fiction. Ben is incredibly wealthy. Rey can’t afford her water bill this month.

Ben leaves her with multiple incessant kisses, each sweeter than the last. He tells her he’ll call, but maybe not for a while. He makes her promise to call if she needs anything at all. He kisses her again for good measure. Then her shoulder her forearms and her hands. Rey doesn’t cry until the door is closed.

She’s falling in love with him. (If she isn’t already.)

It fucking hurts.

come say hi on twitter!

#reylo #adam driver #daisy ridley #ben solo #kylo ren #rey #rey/ben solo #rey/kylo ren #fan fiction #star wars #sw #fluff #but mostly smut #and a dash of angst #my works #fsnfr #chapter 3 #ao3

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oh-mother-of-darkness · 7 years

Text

asks (40)

Anonymous said: Holy frick that is so encouraging and I needed that so much bc I literally visited my college to measure my dorm room and drove home in tears bc I panicked myself into a frenzy about whether or not everything leading me to this point has been a mistake and what if I fail and ruin my life before it even starts (I have since calmed down a little) so your encouragement was much needed & is much appreciated

I’m glad I could help <3 <3 <3 Good luck at school! I’m sure you’ll kick its ass

areverieofchaosdreams said: It's Fanfiction Writers Appreciation Day. So thank you for all your amazing stories!!!

Oh goodness I’m all a blushin :’)

Anonymous said: *HAPPY WRITER APPRECIATION DAY* Send this to someone whose talent has blown you away, who you'd like to encourage to keep on writing always, and who you'd like to thank for working their butt off to provide fandom members with breathtaking stories to consume! THANK YOU :D

Aw thank you!

Anonymous said: Hi! I Hope you're well! Do you still take fic requests? Because I really miss Colin Wilkes and I'd love to a story of him with your writing!

Unfortunately I don’t often take requests these days, but I’ll definitely keep Colin in mind!

dirtycherrypie said: hey! applying for WE for the R&D department (may or may not be aware of producing bat gadgets)

dirtycherrypie said: SHit forgot my name - Bea, at your service!

[Bruce Wayne voice] hired

tigers-and-weeds said: Literally just fell down the rabbit hole on your tumblr for the last 12-24 hours. I am in love with with you headcannons and fics! The angst feeds my soul... So I figured I would request: anything angsty with Dick and Damian please please please

Okay again I don’t usually take fic requests BUT I like me some angst so the odds that this will eventually happen.... are extremely high. I’ll try to remember to dedicate the next one to you :) And thank you!

math--ew said: I went on a little birthday vacation to california and I've never been to the beach before. I was bending down to grab a pretty shell and this huge wave knocked me face first into the sand. Like, five people saw and laghed but I got the shell so I guess it's a win win.

Duuuude back at Lake Michigan last month the same thing happened to me. I was taking care of my little sister and her five year old friend, so I was so busy making sure they were okay that the wave plowed me halfway across the beach

babybatbrat said: when i was in ap physics i once spent an entire study period in my physics teacher's room working on one problem. as far as i could tell i was doing all of the work correctly and had all the initial values right so i was racking my brain trying to figure out why i wasn't getting the right answer. the third time i went up to my teacher and asked for help he told me to start at the beginning and walk him through my process bc he couldn't tell why i was getting it wrong either (1)

babybatbrat said: (2) so i start the problem and explain how i got through all the values - "okay so the rod is 5 inches long and half of 5 is 3 and a half -" and i stopped there bc it occurred to me that 3.5 is not half of 5. "it's what?" My teacher asks. i put my head in my hands and stood there for a minute before picking up my work and walking to the back of the classroom while he laughed, bc i had just spent 45 minutes convinced that half of 5 was 3.5 and not, in fact, 2.5, and that was the only thing wrong

Honestly??? Relatable

babybatbrat said: One time i woke up at six in the morning to hear the neighbor's dog barking and instantly realized that meant my dog had jumped the fence, so i went racing outside and sprinted down the street to catch her. when i did i picked her up and turned around to go home and then saw my neighbor standing on their front porch, realized i was in only an oversized spiderman tshirt and snowman pajama shorts, holding a twenty pound labrador and thats how i met my new neighbors

Incredible...... 10/10.....

thrakaboom said: Not a funny story,but two days ago at comic con I met Tom King and he showed me a picture of his kids while he was signing my books

Well hey that’s pretty cool

Anonymous said: I adore your Tumblr. It was a wonderful way to get into the Batfamily fanbase; prior, I thought that there was only one Batman and a single Robin, dearie me was I wrong. And those stories you write, just great. The Headcanons are just as enjoyable. As for Batman, that has come to be a sibling enjoyment. Thank you for your contributions and existence!

!!!!!! Welcome to the crew!

frnkensteingrrrlz said: hey!!! i just went through ur reasons to be happy tag and!! i'm so so happy bc of it (esp the damian hcs, they're spot on imo and he's my favourite) so i hope u have a good day!!!

Thanks! I am having a good day today! Although I’m sure it’s been a long time since you sent this :////

Anonymous said: HELLO I have just discovered and binge-read all of your fics with my homeboy Damian in them, and just wanted to pop by and say that I love you & you are my hero & you write my boy so well so thank u and I hope your life is blessed & you achieve your wildest hopes & dreams

My day is made :D

badfaith00 said: Best batman storyline you've ever read ?

Ooooooh hm I’m mighty attached to n52 Batman and Robin? Particularly the first storyline, but the second is also fantastic

Anonymous said: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHAMELESSLY REBLOGGING YOUR OWN WORK BC I HADNT SEEN IT BEFORE AND ITS HONESTLY SO PHENOMENAL ITS GOING ON MY LIST OF ALL TIME FAVORITES THANK U AND BLESS U

THANK YOU!!! THAT ONE IS MY FAVORITE AND I AM VERY PROUD OF IT

onwardmotley said: In today's Detective Comics someone finally told Bruce and co that Tim's alive. They didn't explain where he is, or how to get him back, but hey. It might've had more impact if anyone was seen actually mourning Tim and it wasn't just played as him being in cosmic time out, but at least it should end soon idk. Hopefully.

Tim Drake? It’s been years since I heard that name.....

Finally. Thank goodness.

Anonymous said: Idk if I prefer your soul crushing angst or your heartwarming fluff... actually I like to suffer so I'll stay with angst lol

Y’all seeing this? Anon gave me permission. Can’t yell at me next time because it won't be my fault (thanks babe :))

Anonymous said: for music, idk what kind of music u like so here is variety: St. Vincent - Paris is Burning, Sea Wolf - Dear Fellow Traveler (tbh everything by Sea Wolf is great), Dirt Poor Robins - Eleanor Rigby, Between Wind and Water- HAEL, Ellem - Kings and Queens and Vagabonds, The Rigs - Rise & Fall, Tally Hall - Light and Night, and Streetlight Manifesto - The Hands that Thieve.

Thank you! I’m excited to listen to these! I’ll start right now!

Anonymous said: 1) What are the good comics to read for Batfamily stuff (from any point in time) and 2) what are the best Jason Todd comics? Thanks!

Okay for Jason I would definitely start with the big ones, which are A Death In the Family and Under the Red Hood. After that you could try Red Hood: the Lost Days and Countdown to Final Crisis. I would avoid the n52 series until you have a good enough grasp of the character to recognize bad writing when you see it.

For the generalized batfam.... that’s pretty broad. My personal favorites are Red Robin, Batgirl (2009), and both B&R series. If you have more specific questions, you should IM me! I promise I’m better about answering those than asks

yellowwallsbluesky said: Have you heard Swooner by The Zolas? I've really been jamming to it lately

Listening to it right now! Sounds like a bop so far :)

Anonymous said: Hidden citizens paint it black 💜

Much obliged!

Anonymous said: Harry styles "sign of the times".

[adds to list] thank you!

neo669 said: I MISS CASA OLE!! Sorry just read that you lived in Bryan/College Station and I used to live there as well. It's kinda hard to find people that even know that it exists. But I'm sure you can kick law schools butt. You got this!

Yooooooo I miss cstat too :((((

palliddark said: Adalgiza, and I'll be a translator (English to Brazilian Portuguese)

[Bruce Wayne voice] also hired

maeofthedead said: I love your headcannons and now I sort of want to cry thank

Excellent that is the exact target response

Anonymous said: Love your rant in the tags about the pizza making I'm laughing so hard

Listen..... I have strong feelings

Anonymous said: Did you hear they're making an omnibus of Tomasi's entire run on Batman & Robin?? I just heard and now I kinda want to get this massive book in honor of my favorite batkid and the series that made me love him so much

Man I already have all the individual volumes but if I didn’t......

sonicboom00724601 said: Hi. :) Nice headcanon. :)

I’m not sure which one you’re talking about, but thank you! You're real sweet

Anonymous said: can you maybe write an interaction between Wonder Woman and Captain America? I absolutely adore your style and would love to see your take on it.

Hmmmm I don’t really have a good enough grasp of Captain America’s characterization to try that one :////

Anonymous said: i tried to kill on mosquito that was on my ceiling by slamming it with a book but mosquito was on the move so i bounced swiftly and jammed both my wrist and thumb and now my existence is Pain. also my thumbs swelling and looks purple, so that's nice

Oh shit anon you good???

daziy said: Do we know who Barbara's mother usually is?

Yeah! In her original version, Babs had a birth mom and an adopted mom. She was originally Jim’s niece, so her birth mom’s name was Thelma Gordon. After the adoption, her parents were Jim and Barbara Gordon, with her adopted mother being her namesake. So two Barbara Gordons.

I think for awhile the canon was that her mother died in a car crash, but the current version has her still alive. She left Jim when Babs was young, taking her son (Babs’s brother) with her. James Gordon (the son) turned out to be a serial killer.

Barbara Gordon Sr. and James Gordon Jr. both appeared in the n52 Batgirl series during the Death of the Family arc. There’s also a very good story about James from the Dickbats period. That one’s called The Black Mirror, if I’m not mistaken?

Anonymous said: Hi! What do you think of the upcoming metal event? Dick and Damian seem to have a big role in it ( I hope Jason is involved too but there's still no sign of it)

Hmmmm I don’t know that I have an opinion just yet, but as always, I hope to be pleasantly surprised

Anonymous said: bless you are your wonderful tagging system. know that i may have avoided death because of how easy it was to f ind the thing I wanted in your tags. bless

Oh goodness anon I hope you’re not serious about almost dying.... but thanks?

Anonymous said: hi amy! would u say that damians narrative is written as a child abuse one? like there are definitely many allusions to it but its also not as explicit as say, cassandra or rose. like how much of it would u chalk up to comic world dynamics and how much to actual abuse? also would u consider jason to also be a case of this?

Oh I have very strong opinions about the role of abuse in Damian’s narrative. It’s absolutely there, and the effects are staggeringly large. There is no doubt in my mind that the league was an abusive environment, and I can’t justify some of the things Bruce did either.

I think I would say the same thing for Jason, if not quite as strongly. I definitely think that some of the things that happened to Jason as a child shaped his story later on, but less of those were abuse than outside circumstances. The n52 takes a different track on that one, I think, but I don’t put much stock in that characterization.

Anonymous said: has jason forgiven bruce for not killing joker? if so, what made him?

Unlikely. They get along better these days, but I would argue that comes from poor characterization of Bruce, not an actual resolution process.

mellenabrave said: My mom accidentlly threw my Damian doll away (╥_╥)

Tossed in the garbage by yet another parent--

Anonymous said: Whoa where'd you get that bat and oracle shirt you're wearing in your necklace pic? It's so cool! (The necklace is also gorgeous!)

Shoot I think it was from Redbubble? But I can’t find it now

Anonymous said: Omg that necklace was so cool!!! Kudos to the maker of it!! Also I really like your top!!

Thank you <3

#......dont look at me #listen i JUST got wifi again #asks

17 notes · View notes

padfootdidit · 7 years

Text

burn through my soul

a fyre festival au because i have 0 chill, set in the ‘marble hearts collide’ universe bc ria asked for like an 80k companion fic, and because 36 of you seemed to like the idea. basically: it’s half fyre and half ust denial jily and a Big Mess.

for @gxldentrio @petalstofish who asked for more and @fredweasleying who supports james and sirius’ stupidity

most of my info is off the snapchat stories, articles and tweets but i’ve also done a lot of exaggerating, so take all reference to the festival with a bit of salt

It’s Sirius’ idea because, if it involves a stupid waste of money and the promise of celebrity chefs, it will always be his idea. And, because it’s Sirius’ idea, James is in.

“It’s ridiculous,” Lily says, scrolling through the festival’s instagram.

“No, it’s luxury,” Sirius says and snatches his phone back, “you wouldn’t understand.”

Remus raises an eyebrow, “she practically lives with you, I think she understands what luxury is.”

“And waste of money,” Peter adds, helpfully.

“I can’t believe I let any of you into my house, when you’ve just come to insult me!” Sirius pouts, throwing himself dramatically back on the chaise.

“Criticise your money spending habits,” Remus corrects, and just manages to dodge a throw pillow Sirius launches at him.

‘What does Potter think, anyway?” Lily asks, looking down at her own phone.

“Why does Potter’s opinion matter?” Sirius retorts.

Lily is definitely avoiding eye contact, “It doesn’t.”

There’s a murmur of disbelief, and Lily scowls at her phone, knowing that if she looks up she’ll be accosted by five raised eyebrows, because only Sirius has learnt how to raise both separately.

“But, seriously, when is Prongs back?”

“Well, Moony, funny you should ask...” Sirius smirks, “he arrived last night.”

Lily’s head shoots up, “but -”

“But what Evans, not happy to see me?” A voice comes from the doorway, and they all turn to see James leaning, not as gracefully as Sirius would have, against the doorjamb with a smirk to match Sirius’ on his face.

“How long have you guys been planning that?” Peter asks, and he’s not as fast as Remus so a throw pillow hits him in the stomach.

Remus laughs, “probably longer than they’ve been planning this festival bullshit.”

“Losers,” Lily mutters, finally looking away from James, pretending that her phone screen is more interesting than the bit of chest his loosely tied dressing gown shows.

James Potter to lily evans’ home for peculiar children: we made it to the airport folks

Remus Lupin: shame

Sirius Black: fight me bitch

Lily Evans: we thought ur chauffeur might crash on purpose

James Potter: why would he do that???

Sirius Black: i dont have a chauffeur

Sirius Black: i have wesley

Peter Pettigrew: who is a chauffeur

Sirius Black: no he’s my driver

Remus Lupin: difference?

James Potter: more importantly tho

James Potter: he would never crash on purpose

Lily Evans: he would if he thought it might shut u up

Sirius Black: y would anyone want to shut us up

James Potter: yeah

Sirius Black: thanks bro

James Potter: i got ur back bro dw

Remus Lupin removed Sirius Black from the group

Remus Lupin removed James Potter from the group

Lily Evans changed Remus Lupin’s nickname to our lord and saviour

“Do you think they’re there yet?” Lily says, watching Remus as he methodically searches through Sirius’ drinks tray.

“I think we would know if they were,” Peter answers drily.

Remus pauses to inspect a label closely, “Pete’s right, we’ll know.”

“Missing them already?”

“Fuck off,” Lily scowls, “just want to ask Sirius his netflix password.”

“You don’t know already?” Remus says at the same time Peter says, “bitchbetterhavemymoney, capital B.”

Lily frowns, “he told you? He doesn’t tell anyone.”

“Correction, he told James, and it’s way easier to bribe James than Sirius,” Peter smiles triumphantly.

“I swear you use it all the time? Remus asks, setting down the bottle in favour for a shorter, fatter one.

“He logs in for me and then makes me log off afterwards,” Lily says, rolling her eyes.

“Here we go,” Remus stands, presenting a bottle of scotch to Peter and Lily, who are cuddled up together beneath a blanket on the sofa, and grins, “the most expensive bottle.”

“Are you sure?”

“Because, last time you said it was and then he came back and told us it was only his third most expensive one and -”

“I’m sure,” Remus says, interrupting Lily. “Not only is it the most expensive bottle on the living room’s tray,” he gestures around the room they’re in, “it’s also more expensive than anything in the drawing room.”

Lily Evans to ovaries before madame brovary: remus found it

Lily Evans: party @ 10

Mary MacDonald: should i bring snacks

Gemma Jones: ahhahaha gd one

Mary MacDonald: thank you <33

Lily Evans: he’s put a padlock on the chocolate cupboard but the pantry is full

Marlene McKinnon: I can’t believe we know someone who has a pantry

Lily Evans: shameful isn’t it

James Potter changed the group name to WASSUUUUUP

Sirius Black: blocked

James Potter: u said u liked it???

Sirius Black: yh i lied

James Potter: fight me bitch

Peter Pettigrew: ur plane didn’t crash then

James Potter: landed safe and sound

Remus Lupin: shame

Lily Evans: have they showered u in gold bars yet

Peter Pettigrew: have they got a red carpet for u all

Remus Lupin: are all the other rich ppl as rich as u

Lily Evans: have u had a competition to see whos richest

Peter Pettigrew: i bet the toilet had tenner notes for paper

Remus Lupin: more like fifties

James Potter: u all suck

Sirius Black: they’re just jealous bb

Lily Evans: but srsly

Lily Evans: what’s it like

James Potter: amazing

Sirius Black: the beach is beautiful the people are beautiful the tents are beautiful

James Potter: it’s like a rich persons dream

Remus Lupin: u, as a rich person, cannot make rich ppl jokes

Lily Evans: ***rich bitch

Lily Evans: check ur privilege potter

Sirius Black: says the white girl

James Potter: checkmate

Lily Evans: point

Peter Pettigrew: have u seen a jenner yet

Remus Lupin: is the only available beverage pepsi

Lily Evans: ^^^the real question

Sirius Black: WHY THE FUCK DID MCKINNON JUST SEND ME A SNAPCHAT OF HER IN MY BATH

Peter Pettigrew: i’ll ask her

Peter Pettigrew: she says it was for the vine

Sirius Black: WHY THE FUCK IS SHE IN MY BATH

Sirius Black: GET HER OUT OF MY BATH

Sirius Black: u r having another party aren’t u ohMYGOD

Lily Evans: brb

Remus Lupin: idk i can’t read suddenly

Peter Pettigrew: gtg sorry bye

Sirius Black: TRAITORS

“What if James finds, like an heiress though? What are you going to do then?” Tegan asks, leaning so far across the table Lily can see down her shirt.

“Potter can do what he wants,” Lily shrugs, “why do I care?”

“Because you’re in love with him,” Marlene says, high-fiving Mary.

Lily downs the rest of her wine glass, “factually incorrect.” Factually incorrect meaning unwilling to admit the truth.

Gemma shakes her head, “how could you not be in love with him?”

“Very easily,” Lily snatches the bottle from Mary’s hand and pours herself another drop. Drop meaning entire glass. “It’s like this,” she pauses to take a sip, “you guys are projecting your fantasies on to me-”

“Oh, no no no!” She’s drowned out by cries of protest and drinks the rest of her glass as a distraction. Drinking red wine is so easy when she’s already drunk.

Thankfully, she’s saved from any more discussion about a particular black haired man by Peter sprinting in the room, skidding to a halt with his phone held out in front of him, “Have you seen this?”

Fyre Festival Goes Up in Flames

The luxury beach festival due to be held this weekend in the Bahamas has begun but, unlike the promotional videos, there is nothing luxury about it. Festival goers who arrived early have been reporting rabid dogs, empty tents, and not a single celebrity in sight.

Snapchat videos and tweets show people arriving to what some have described as the ‘season finale of the Walking Dead’. Inside the tents, which are being fought over as we speak, empty mattresses and tables which look like they’re from IKEA are stand ins for the promised ‘5 star accommodation’. Since festival go-oers paid between $2,000 and $12,000 for this, it’s understandable that they’re annoyed.

Reportedly, celebrities who promoted the festival, such as the Jenner sisters, Bella Hadid and other supermodels/quasi-celebrities, were warned not to attend in advance of the festival.

Lily Evans to the lord of the flies just got Real: hahahahhahahahahaahhahah

Remus Lupin: anything u want to tell us lads

Peter Pettigrew: we kno that u r online

James Potter: what are u talking about

Remus Lupin: “”””the beach is beautiful the people are beautiful the tents are beautiful”””””

Lily Evans: http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39743303/luxury-fyre-festival-is-cancelled-with-ticket-holders-still-stranded-in-bahamas

Sirius Black: technically

Sirius Black: i only lied abt the tents

Lily Evans: firstly...... are u guys okay?

James Potter: yh

James Potter: pissed off n hungry but yh

Sirius Black: i’m gonna sue

Lily Evans: secondly

Lily Evans: ahahahahahhahhahah

Peter Pettigrew: what a scam

Sirius Black: they lost my gucci suitcase

Remus Lupin: shame

Sirius Black removed Remus Lupin from the group

Peter Pettigrew: are u gonna start eating each other

Lily Evans added Remus Lupin to the group

Lily Evans: r they dividing u into groups to fight to the death

Sirius Black left the group

The thing is, Lily isn’t in love with James. She knows what love looks like. Her parents were in love, Petunia loves Vernon (not that Lily understands why), Frank and Alice are in love, Marlene and Tegan are in love. She has seen love. It’s holding hands and forehead kisses and long trips away to the beach and getting a dog together and sharing interests and watching tv all day in pyjamas and sharing bank accounts and smiling when the other person isn’t looking and wanting to spend the rest of your life together and having inside jokes and knowing as much as possible about the other person and knowing that no matter what you’re always safe with them.

And sure, she and Potter have a lot of inside jokes, but she has a lot of inside jokes with Peter too. And sure, they’ve spent all day watching tv together, but never on the same piece of furniture. And sure, if she needs help she goes to Potter, and if she’s sad she rings him, and if she sees a funny otter video she sends it to him, but that’s how it’s always been, and sometimes she goes to Sirius too. Plus, they don’t have a puppy together and Lily is pretty certain they’ve never held hands. So, really, she can’t be in love with James.

The conclusion is a good one, Lily thinks as she finishes her third glass of wine (third really meaning ninth) and allows herself to pay attention to the others again. It’s difficult to play charades when she’s distracted by the thought of being in love with James Potter, but now she’s cleared that one up, it’s easy to guess that Remus is acting out National Treasure 2.

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: u better not let anyone in my bedroom

Lily Evans: locked

LIly Evans: dw

Sirius Black: stop having parties w/out me

Lily Evans: stop locking away all the good booze when we have parties w u

Sirius Black: point

Peter Pettigrew to mckinnon just threw up in the bathtub: hows the prison food

Sirius Black: did mckinnon acc throw up in the bathtub????

Sirius Black: which one

Sirius Black: the red room?? downstairs guest ensuite?? MINE??!1?

James Potter: better than evans’ cooking

Sirius Black: wHICH BATHTUB

Remus Lupin: lily would like to say that “””if i had any energy to waste in replying to potters insult then i would remind him that euphemia said i was a better cook that him””””

Sirius Black: pSTOP IGROING ME

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Betrayal

Dear Mother,

Evans told me that you said she was a better cook than me. Just emailing to check that you would never betray me like this.

Love,

Your son,

James

Sent from my iPhone

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE: Betrayal

James darling,

Please don’t use the company’s email for personal matters, you know it annoys everyone.

Lily’s cooking is a delight. It’s not a betrayal if it’s a fact.

Love,

Mother

P.S Your father told me that festival you’re at turned out to be a bit of a disaster. Are you planning on coming home?

Lily Evans to James Potter: i CANNOT believe u emailed ur mym

Lily Evans: acc i take that back

Lily Evans: I CAN U LOSER

James Potter: u r durnk

Lily Evans: n u arent?????

James Potter: ppl r looting

James Potter: kinda scary shit

Lily Evans: dont let any1 steal sirius

Lily Evans: hed go for a Lot on the black market

Lily Evans: aahahaah

Lily Evans: brb gptta share my pun w// the group

James Potter: we’ve booked a flight for tomorrow afternoon

James Potter: gun get wasted on beach tomox

Lily Evans: legendz

James Potter: didnt cum to the bahamas not to get a tan

Lily Evans: cum ha

Lily Evans: u r permanentnly tanned?????

James Potter: ik

James Potter: just wanted to remind u that im in the bahamas n u r not

Lily Evans: blocked

Marlene and Tegan get the downstairs guest room, Remus and Peter crash in the extension Sirius constantly denies he added so they could have their own rooms, Mary and Gemma take the upstairs guest room which Lily usually sleeps in, which means Lily is left with five choices. She could share with Mary and Gemma because it’s a king sized bed, but Gemma snores. She could sleep in one of the other two guest rooms, but she’s pretty sure one of them is haunted, and the other one has a broken bed from when Alice and Frank stayed around last week. Which leaves her with Potter’s room. Unless she really wants to picklock Sirius’ and risk facing his wrath.

It’s an easy choice really. Potter’s room is sans snoring, sans ghost and sans broken bed. Lily nods to herself, and walks up the staircase, waving a middle finger at Mary and Gemma when she passes their open door. The gits.

Potter isn’t even here. It’s not like she’s sharing a bed with him.

Lily shivers at the thought.

She shuts the door behind her and climbs into the bed, definitely not looking at the millions of framed photographs he has on his bedside table. One of him and the boys back at boarding school, arms looped around each other, smiles wide. Mary had taken that one, the day they all finished their GCSEs. One of him and his parents, at their vow renewal service, James and Fleamont towering over Euphemia. One of him and a bunch of kids all sat on a hospital bed, a sign above the bed saying ‘thank you!’. One of him with Graham Norton, both looking too excited. One of him and Sirius, young, really young, looking almost identical. One of him and all of them, taken by Euphemia at his twenty first birthday party, just before Remus threw up all over everyone’s shoes. One of him and -

Lily squints, leaning out of the bed to look at the one tucked away at the back, almost hidden. Fuck, it’s her. It’s them. She remembers it. It meaning the moment that landed them in seven gossip magazine, too many online columns, and one list of the hottest couples this month. It was one of his charity balls, for mental illness she remembers, one filled with celebrities and champagne trays and tiny snacks which would never satisfy any normal human being.

They’re standing on a balcony, London spread out before them. They hadn’t noticed a photographer, or anyone, because they’d been too busy discussing the pros and cons of making a rope out of Lily’s dress to escape. Potter had suggested tying it to the balcony, climbing down and hailing a cab. He was kidding of course, because he loved these things, because it meant he got to talk about all the causes he loved and everyone had to at least pretend they were listening or their photograph would be splashed beneath a headline which read ‘B List Celebrity Hates Kids’, depending on which cause the ball was for that month.

But Lily, Lily who had grown up in a mining village and worked for every penny she had, still wasn’t used to these balls even after five years of them. She loved the glamour and she could pull off confidence easily, she just didn’t like that she could never tell if people actually cared or not.

So Potter, ever kind, had gone along with her escape plan, coming up with more pros then even she could manage. Then the flash had gone off and they’d jumped, quickly returning inside because James had to make a speech. Or something.

The photograph hadn’t captured their shock though. It had caught her laughing, bright and full, and him smiling, kind and soft, and really, they did look like a couple. They were standing too close, looking too happy to not. Except they weren’t, and the group had had to spend the next three weeks batting away reporters about who was the stunning red head who had captured humanitarian James Potter’s heart. Then it had died down, and everyone had forgotten about the picture, even Lily.

It shocks her that it’s there, on his bedside table. Makes something burst in her chest, a rogue party popper.

So, instead of confronting all the thoughts that pop into her when she sees the picture, like a rational adult, she rolls over, buries beneath the silk sheets and promptly goes to sleep.

James Potter to can someone tell me which bathtub please??: so someone recognised sirius

James Potter: so now he’s trying to make a raft

James Potter: out of his remaining gucci luggage

Remus Lupin: let me know if he drowns

James Potter: why is no one recognising me

James Potter: my achievements way out rank his

Peter Pettigrew: yh but you’re not a black

Peter Pettigrew: n u’ve never been in a commercial for toothpaste

James Potter: im a potter tho

Remus Lupin: plus u’ve never been pictured naked in the sun

James Potter: point

Lily Evans: shhhh stop buxxing my phone

James Potter: mary told me u were sleeping in my bed

James Potter: u better not have chundered in there

Lily Evans: brb gtg kill mary

James Potter sent a video.

James Potter: if u evr wanted to kno what sirius screams sound like when he gets his hair wet

Remus Lupin: did he fall in??

James Potter: some tit capsized him

Remus Lupin: brilliant

@DailyProphet The Daily Prophet

[30/04] Pictured: minor celebrities, James Potter and Sirius Black, are among first to leave Fyre Festival, boarding a flight back to England this afternoon.

Remus Lupin to which fucking bathtub was it: have you heard the news?

Remus Lupin changed Sirius Black’s nickname to minor celebrity.

minor celebrity: blocked

Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: did u get the banner yet

Remus Lupin: i cant believe we r throwing them a welcome home party

Remus Lupin: they were gone for like three days

Lily Evans: but they survived a disaster remus

Lily Evans: a disaster™

Lily Evans: a travesty™

Remus Lupin: i got the banner

Remus Lupin: what r we adding to it

Lily Evans: i want it to read ‘welcome home minor celebrities’

Remus Lupin: padfoot is never gonna let u in his house again

Lily Evans: we both know that isn’t true

Remus Lupin: point

James Potter to it was all the bathtubs: we landed safely

Remus Lupin: shame

Peter Pettigrew: u better have bought us some souvenirs

James Potter: does duty free count

Peter Pettigrew: blocked

“Surprise!” They all yell, as James and Sirius step through the door, their bags brought in moments later by Wesley. James jumps, looking satisfyingly surprised, whereas Sirius just scowls and turns to help Wesley with the remaining suitcases. Clearly, their antics were old by now.

“Here are your disaster survival kits,” Tegan says, offering them two first aid kits which Peter had filled with tiny vodka bottles, rape whistles and Finding Nemo water proof plasters. James accepts both, Sirius just leading Wesley through to the kitchen.

It’s not long before they’re all at least tipsy again, Sirius having finished his temper tantrum over a) the amount of booze they drank and b) the fact that McKinnon had never actually thrown up in a bathtub at all. Lily finds it especially easy to get drunk, probably because she starts drinking whenever James tries to talk to her.

She’s not sure why, but she suspects it has something to do with the photograph. The photograph which she keeps seeing in her head, framed next to his bed. So, every time he comes near her, she brings her glass or bottle to her mouth and refuses to make eye contact.

A successful technique with Potter, but no one else and it isn’t long before Sirius has her cornered, having spotted her new found avoidance scheme.

“You throw us a party, but won’t even talk to one of the special guests,” he says, swirling his scotch around the glass, “would you care to comment?”

“I prefer A-listers to minor celebrities,” she says before she can think of anything else, and because she knows Sirius is still sore about it.

“If you would just stop, and listen to one of us, you know you’d be so much happier,” he sighs.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lily says, and promptly turns her back on him.

James Potter to Lily Evans: mum wants to know if you’re coming over for sunday lunch

Lily Evans: when dont i

James Potter: point

Lily Evans: u recovered from ur traumatic time yet

James Potter: not sure

James Potter: thinking of setting up a charity for everyone who went

Lily Evans: omg ive got a rlly good name for it!!

Lily Evans: trust fund

Lily Evans: oh wait..........

@DailyProphet The Daily Prophet

[01/05] We would like to apologise to anyone who may have found insult in one of yesterday’s tweets concerning the Fyre Festival. A redaction has now been approved: “Pictured: Celebrities, James Potter and Sirius Black, are among first to leave Fyre Festival, boarding a flight back to England this afternoon.”

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