#anyway I'm gonna watch the end and weep some more

[essektheylyss]

I know the dominoes scene is one of the most cinematically incredible pieces of film that has ever existed, but also, on a narrative level, it also makes me fully fucking feral.

#v for vendetta #like yeah. it's absolutely STUNNING. but it is also narratively just. #proof that you can give away your entire ending and have it be not only poignant but also a thematically flawless pinnacle moment #like the whole point is that if you put the pieces of history together you can follow the trail exactly to the truth! #foresight isnt a matter of magic its it's just a matter of paying attention #not turning a blind eye out of fear #not to like. be on brand at all times but this movie really is just like. god. utterly phenomenal #AND SO MISINTERPRETED BY DUDE BROS OH MY GOD #anyway I'm gonna watch the end and weep some more

[melrosing]

anyway I'm gonna start posting My Own Robert's Rebellion Adaptation ep by ep because.... GRRM's never gonna do it?? I have too much time?? both?? stay tuned

rules are I can fuck with timelines a little as a treat, but not so much that events/character ages & development are changed. so for example Aerys doesn’t actually make Tywin hand till four years into his reign I think, but who actually cares when Jaehaerys died, let’s say it was a little later and that Tywin was made Hand straight off

finally I am picturing a two season show where this one ends w Harrenhal. anyway

Next Part: Episode 2

Episode 1: Aerys' Dad Dies

We open on the body of King Jaehaerys II, lying in state at the Sept of Baelor. There’s a silent congregation standing around him, and closest of all his children, Aerys and Rhaella. Between them stands their young son, Rhaegar

At the King’s council as they discuss next steps from here. Right now, Aerys seems faintly charming, albeit with a jagged edge. There’s mention of Rhaella’s new pregnancy, and a fear that the distress of losing their father might cause her ill health. Everyone wants the transition to Aerys’ rule to be smooth as possible, so he must choose a Hand asap. His council have ideas; Aerys has one of his own 🦁

We are introduced to Tywin Lannister, travelling in a golden coach (obvs) to King’s Landing. With him are Joanna and their year-old twins. Tywin looks pleased with himself; Joanna notes he’s not Hand yet, but Tywin has no doubt he will be

The Lannisters are greeted jovially by Aerys, who is a little too familiar with Joanna, making her, Tywin and Rhaella equally uncomfortable. Aerys is introduced to the Lannister twins (inadvertantly meeting his own future murderer - 🚨 kill bill sirens 🚨 ), and welcomes all. Generally just appears a bit too upbeat for a funeral, because as a human being he is just fundamentally Off

The funeral: burning Jaehaerys’ body in a ‘manmade pyre’. Aerys mumbles they used to have dragons for this, the implication being that there’s something faintly undignified about this for a Targaryen. Rhaella weeps, and Rhaegar stares hard into the flames because he is a weird 👏 kid 👏

Rhaella and Joanna take a walk through the gardens of the Red Keep. Rhaella implies having noticed Aerys’ behaviour towards her, and that she has noticed it before. Joanna quietly asserts that she does not invite it. Rhaella says she knows - Aerys is like that

Aerys and Tywin meet for post-funeral drinks in Aerys’ solar. Aerys comments that he finds Rhaegar kind of strange and bookish, and believes he has too much of his mother in him. More generally, we see both the familiar and the fractious in how Aerys and Tywin engage, and have some sense of the two being childhood friends (insofar as either of these men even know what a friend is ❤️). Aerys offers the position of Hand to Tywin. Tywin plays a little hard to get, but ultimately agrees. A rare Tywin smile is witnessed x

The coronation: Targ aesthetic dialled up to eleven, because I imagine the more insecure Targaryen kings would cling to it in the absence of dragons. Aerys passes the dragon skulls on his way to the throne (some heavy-handed visual foreshadowing by urs truly xo). Watching on are the heads of the greathouses and their young scions: Aerys death stands all about him in the room, even if he doesn’t know it yet. Rhaella too receives a crown, and somehow doesn’t looked thrilled about it

Final scene sees Rhaegar sitting crosslegged on the floor of his bedchamber with a book and a candle, singing a Valyrian song to himself - the words are not translated

#asoiaf #sparknotes robert's rebellion #I wanted the kids from the rebellion at the coronation to introduce them but they’re so young that it’s like #aerys getting crowned in front of a parent and baby group where the babies are his doom

[cipheramnesia]

Good Queer horror movies?

I've probably got like three other asks like this floating around but what the hell we got halloween around the corner, let's take another spin.

Like, how good and how queer right? For example, I would put Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation solidly in the queer category. However, they do require a little bit of background reading and review to grok the queerness. There are also buckets of old movies with queer coding and queer subtext, but I lean more modern, so I'm gonna put down some favorites where the queerness is the text. The down side is it means I'm missing out on some movies I probably should recommend, but I can't sit here and parse out fifty titles.

Anyway, off the top recently I would say Sound of Violence has been a huge favorite of mine, with a queer and murderous protagonist, following an exploration of body horror and synesthesia of sound evoking a sexual response. This isn't for everyone but I adore it.

All Cheerleaders Die is a regular recommendation of mine on queer horror, although parts of it haven't aged very well. But on the other hand the theme of love and queerness is delicious, with a witch whose powers and love for her girlfriend are so strong they literally bring her back from the dead. More recently released is Seance, which is good but a bit middle of the road insofar as horror goes. Still and all, has a bit of the vibe of All Cheerleaders Die but with less of the tone deaf bits.

Der Samurai is, probably unintentionally, my favorite transfeminine horror movie. One trans woman, one katana, one cop trying to repress his queerness, one small town of bigots, and one night of explosive bloodshed. I've watched this movie three times and it always leaves me breathless.

Equally beautiful is Titane, a transmasculine horror movie with strong body horror elements and a great deal of unreliable perspective from the camera. While we can't tell everything that is real all the time, the hallucinatory journey is full of moments of heartbreak and beauty. I actually had to turn it off a moment in overwhelming happiness at the line "you have always been my son."

The trans horror that gave me the most intense experience, and the most trauma, was Boarding School, about a child experiencing the first sense of being trans, but while also undergoing a combination of abuse and trauma and generational trauma at a school where parents leave children they want to forget they have. Between the throughline of the protagonist's Jewish heritage, the moments of self-discovery which transform swiftly to shame or violence, and the moment of claiming themselves for themselves like a phoenix, if you are trans, this movie will both fuck you up and call you out really bad.

I recently saw Jamie Marks Is Dead, a gay ghost story that is also a wonderful illustration of how limited the idea of horror being about "scary movies" is. It's painful and sad and true and had me weeping. Spiral (2019, aka "the good one") is an excellent killer cult / satanic panic type of movie which also really explores the differences of the gay experience a white guy has vs a black guy, with a big heaping of gaslighting and PTSD. While I think Jamie Marks is a more soulful movie, Spiral stands apart as a great example of how a horror movie can be a very good conventional horror movie that happens to have queer protagonists, while including lots of juicy subtext to make it a deeper and richer experience.

There's a few more solid wlw movies I'm gonna toss in at the end here, which I think are pretty good but don't have the energy to go into a lot of detail: Thelma, Raw, and Bloodthirsty. Of course there is one widely Tumblr-popular wlw horror movie that you might notice hasn't been included in the body of this text. The omission is intentional, and judgemental.

#queer horror #horror movies

[deathbydarkelves]

So I'm semi-casually RPing in the current Helping Hands campaign (x-faction, open campaign where the overall goal is to help the kaldorei recover post-Fourth War and investigate some Fucked-Up Shit along the way). I'd seen other people write little excerpts of their characters processing rp events post-event, but never had the inspiration strike me to do that myself. I consider this Helping Hands "timeline" separate from my AU/"real" timeline anyway, which keeps it more casual and non-serious in my head.

BUT in the latest event we were tasked with bringing some supplies through the mountains between Felwood and Darkshore, and poor Tarinne got a glimpse of Teldrassil for the first time since Legion. It may be a little AU-y -- in the real timeline she's not gonna see Darkshore for a while I'm thinking -- but I wanted to explore how she'd maybe process that.

Oh also we got ambushed by furbolg shamans with arrows and lightning and had to retreat to Moonglade through a fucked-up Void portal.

Basically: I wanted to write a little scene where it's just Cathala and Tarinne talking, since in my current WIP they're accompanied by other characters most of the time and that changes the dynamic a little. It's pretty quick and loose compared to my other writing, but at the end of the day it was sort of just a dialogue exercise <3

Tarinne had rented a hippogryph out of Moonglade the moment the druids healed her, with hardly a goodbye to the other volunteers. That brief, distant glimpse of Teldrassil stuck in her head like putrefying flesh to bone. She rode the leagues to Mount Hyjal empty-minded, counting buildings in the scarce mountain villages below to keep it that way, and taking draughts from her mead flask when that failed. She was even grateful for the hot, stinging pain on her right shoulder blade where the druids had missed part of a lightning burn, despite how much it sucked ass.

And now that wound had begun to weep, and she was sitting on a stool in her and Cathala’s room at the Nordrassil Inn, staring out the only window at a crystalline curtain of rain. Earthy incense filled her lungs. Every now and then the rain-chilled air found its way through the window and prickled her skin. Behind her, Cathala had set her bag on the bed and was digging through it for vials of herbs.

“I should have come with you,” Cathala said. Glass clinked as she pulled something out.

“You would’ve gotten your ass beat, too.”

She laughed through her nose. “Don’t sound so sure.”

“The spellcasters barely got a hit off. All I could do was stand there like an idiot while they took potshots at us.” She glared at the rain-blurred silhouettes of trees and chewed her lip. “It was a waste of time. I don’t know why I bothered.”

“You’ll be prepared next time.” Cathala closed her bag and walked to her side. She held a jar of silvery-gray earthroot paste, and two rounded vials of dried leaves Tarinne didn’t recognize. “Where is it?”

Tarinne patted her right shoulder. Cathala tugged at her own collar, a signal.

“I don’t know if I want there to be a next time.” Tarinne pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor. The odor of stale sweat followed it. “I heard them talking about taking the Rift from the get-go, and you’d have to pay me my weight in gold before I did that shit again.”

“I saw a poster for an escaped prisoner outside town yesterday. One hundred gold reward.”

Tarinne laughed once. “Maybe if I was a gnome.”

Cathala smirked like she saw that coming, then stepped between her and the bed. She was silent for a few beats. “Hold these.” She handed the herbs over Tarinne’s shoulder and sat on the end of the bed. She passed her fingers over the skin surrounding the burn, feeling for something Tarinne didn’t know.

Tarinne watched smoke curl off the incense sticks in the bowl below the window, and waited.

Cathala held a hand out. “Adder’s tongue.”

She looked at the two vials in her hands.

“The green one.”

Tarinne passed it to her and proceeded to wait in anticipation as Cathala removed the cork and tapped a bundle of leaves into her hand.

“Relax,” Cathala said.

“I am,” Tarinne said, then realized her old mistake.

Cathala jabbed two knuckles into the middle of her back, one on either side of her spine. Like she had cut the strings commanding her muscles, tension Tarinne hadn’t even been aware of drained from her body, along with an involuntary sigh. Her shoulders sagged and she slouched forward.

“Now you are.”

She took a slow breath like she’d only just woken up. “Yeah, well… I can’t do that shit you do with your magic monk fing-“ She hissed in pain as Cathala pressed the adder’s tongue to her raw wound. The spongy stems and leaves stabbed at her flesh.

“Breathe.”

“I am,” Tarinne half-laughed.

After one long minute, Cathala tossed the adder’s tongue to the floor. Its fern-like leaves were appetizingly dark and sticky with lymph.

Cathala extended her hand again. “Earthroot.”

Tarinne gave her the jar. She sighed, and a few seconds later, the threads of incense smoke twisted and faded. “We’d almost made it outta the mountains, too.”

Cathala uncorked the jar and rubbed the cool, grainy paste into her wound. At first it stung, then slowly numbed as the poppy milk she always mixed in took effect.

Cathala’s voice became flat and impartial. “As a girl, I thought dragons lived in those mountains.”

Her words faded into the sound of the rain.

Tarinne nodded slowly. “No dragons this time.”

Outside, a breeze weaved between the trees and raindrops. The incense sticks burned low, smoke shaking whenever a wayward drop found its way inside. Tarinne watched the ash of one drop into the bowl.

When Cathala finally pulled her hand away, her shoulder was blessedly numb.

Tarinne held up the second vial. “What about this?”

“Briarthorn. Only necessary if it was blistering.”

She gave the vial an unpleasant look before setting all three on the floor. Words started to form in her mouth, then died once she opened it.

Cathala ran her palm over her shoulder. “Your trapezius is tense.”

“Probably because it got struck by lightning.”

“I can work it loose once the earthroot soaks in.”

“What, no pressure point trick?”

She could feel Cathala looking at the back of her head like she was an idiot. “That’s only temporary.”

Tarinne sighed again, though she’d known that. “Mm.”

The ember of a burned-out incense stick winked out.

The bed creaked as Cathala stood. She knelt in front of her, brow knit as her eyes met Tarinne’s. “Will you be alright?”

“Yes.” Her smile faded as her gaze wandered down the scar coiling up Cathala’s neck and cheek. She chewed her lip again. “You don’t have to come with me. We might go back to Da-“

“I know.” Cathala put her hand on hers and squeezed it. “But if- when…” She closed her eyes, sighed through her nose, then opened them. “I would want to be with you.”

Tarinne was silent for a while. She studied Cathala’s face, but so many different emotions were carving their lines into it she found it unreadable. Finally, she let out a long breath, and said: “Me too.”

#my writing #cathala #tarinne #black rain #helping hands #noncanon writing

[masterkeynobi]

session 1 recap

i Am party notetaker but i think i'm just gonna do this for myself ldhgadsfjghdfj but! we finally finally started today after many months of Scheduling Issues <3 highlights:

"i'm trying to channel my inner startup ceo, it's not working!" "reach deeper into yourself..."

our barbarian skip being just. so FUCKING cute i could die. the sole tank among pathetic cringefail squishy guys AND THEY'RE JUST A LITTLE GUYYYYY THEY'RE SO CUTE the art for them has me on my knees weeping

"gundren rockseeker is, for the time being, our boss... maybe not yours, actually, but his name is rockseeker, so you'll probably be fine."

[entering initiative][guys who have only ever watched acoc before: getting a lot of acoc vibes from this!][nah it was just the setup of bend in the road+roadblock+ambush]

our first npc getting hit round ONE and making death saves the rest of the combat

see the thing is the last (first? first And last?) time i played i played a wizard but lav was level 3 so i am. realizing now how fucking pathetic my level 1 baby is... she can't do shit and has seven (7) hit points... good god. i am going to die

aldrich getting attacked bc he failed his vicious mockery like 2 turns in a row and the goblin (and i quote) "thinks you're a weenie"

figuring out that rohan is maybe something of a crybaby? idk i'm soooo new to this and i don't know... how to play... but i've ended up playing her a little more idk delicate/pathetic than i originally intended. i don't mind though she's little and small

the decision our dm offered us re: chasing down that last goblin or making our way into town was neat bc i got to Think it through in character @.@ rohan isn't a coward but she wants desperately to keep her head down & do her job and therefore wants to avoid interactions/skirmishes with criminals of any kind — she kills a dude but cries afterward, clams up when the shopkeep asks what happened to them, takes some convincing to not just. leave gundren to die

on the topic of rohan crying: skip offering her all their money because she's sad and they have no use for it (it's metal :( and the shopkeep doesn't sell cool rocks anyway) absolutely has to be my top 1 moment of today's session that was very very sweet and legitimately surprised me. and i got 10 gold pieces fr so

it's interesting that i think aldrich is fully the most like. Adult? member of the party thus far i do want to watch where his dynamic w rohan goes based on the conversation they had at the end there

#sree.txt #sree&d #friendelver #<- we're playing lost mines of phandelver / our discord server is called buddies d&d / i like puns and portmanteaus #i had a good time i was SO nervous going in actually but #it was 2h on call w my friends yknow #and i think theres potential for Character Dynamics given the trio we have. we will see i guess!!!! #we were of course all a little shaky but None Of Us Have Played Before so. again we will see #i'm optimistic

[strawberryclementine]

I'm on episode 73 of Monster now and I need to call it a day but I also know I'm not gonna sleep tonight because of how shaky I am after watching that... I'm all cried out and I sweat like ten buckets so I'm basically a raisin now

Read More below because I need to speak my thoughts somewhere. Major spoilers ofc.

I will literally never recover from when Grimmer said he couldn't recall the last episode of The Magnificent Steiner. From there the waterworks started. I really liked his unexpected friendship with Inspector Lunge and I am totally not okay about the fact that they will never have a beer together and that he will also never have a picnic with Tenma.... I thought him and the lady at the sausage shop would have a future and that he would be her prince! Her death was really brutal and it was crazy seeing the aftermath of Grimmer's reaction

Also, Inspector Lunge has always been cool but I'm actually weak from how he's escalated in these episodes. I was genuinely fearing he would die and I'm kind of convinced he won't now but for a string of episodes there I was getting ready for a Lunge funeral. When he said "the computer in my brain tells me your calculations are wrong" I think I ascended to heaven. Absolute legend for killing Roberto; I audibly screamed far too many times. Was Roberto really sleeping with Lunge's wife or was I reading too deep into that? Either way, I'm so hopeful that Lunge will actually have some kind of family life after this because after like forty episodes they're finally bringing it up again...

I had also made a passing comment that Adolph Reinhardt was Roberto when the old man showed that picture so many episodes ago but for some reason them saying his real name and it not being Roberto was enough to make me drop it for some reason??? As if not every Kinderheim 511 kid goes by an alias??? Anyways this show did NOT make me cry about Roberto... Okay, maybe it did but whatever...

I'm genuinely obsessed with the way they brought in Klaus Poppe like I was seriously convinced he was the sweetest little man and then Lunge's monologue about how he "became imaginary" sent me to a higher dimension. That being said, I wish him the very worst. ✌️

ALSO??? Why is Gillen in Ruhenheim instead of Reichwein??? When he said Tenma was his friend it was so precious but my guy why are you here?? Is this a plot device so there'll be recordings? Will he and Tenma actually reunite? Honestly, I'm scared he's gonna die.

I'm also going to need the Wim and Dieter custody situation ASAP. If they aren't friends by the end of this I'm gonna weep.

#🍓🍊 watches monster #avert your eyes for spoilers sorry I have to scream into the abyss about this

[modernmanblues]

Hi there! This is your secret santa (🌻)! I can only ask from my main blog, but otherwise I'm over at @thespiritualmultinerd for mixed fandoms and the '60s-'70s stuff.

I hope you got your Christmas shopping done and that you'll have a wonderful day today! A bass guitar for yourself sounds like a great idea ^^ Do you know how to play or are you learning?

I listened to the whole album, but was also busy doing other things at the same time so didn't listen very closely, but I definitely want to go back to it and listen more to 10cc during next year overall! Thank you so much for sharing things about them and making me more invested!

Aaw, While My Guitar Gently Weeps is one of my favourites too, though not one I have listened to as much as some of their other songs. But it just has that.... that sound to it. When The Levee Breaks is one of my favourite Zeppelin songs too! I was reluctant to listen to Stairway at first when I was getting into Zeppelin because that's the popular one, but then it came on on a playlist and..... well okay it's great. x)

Aww haha, The Chipmunk Song is really cute! 😄

We did all the celebrations yesterday (I'm Swedish and Christmas Eve is the big day here), so today is mostly dedicated to TV and candy, though we have some more gifts to wrap for friends we haven't seen yet. What are your plans for today? (also no worries of course if you don't have time to reply to this today 😅). I hope you'll have a wonderful day anyway - Merry Christmas! 🎄🎅🏻✨

Howdy! pleasure to formally meet you ☺️

Sadly, i’ve been stuck indoors the past few days due to bad weather so i didn’t get any christmas shopping done. i’m hoping the weather’s a bit tomorrow so i can finally get my bass guitar! i’m super stoked!! 😄 i already know it’s gonna be love at first sight 🥰

and i’m happy to hear you listened to DB. that entire album is just *chefs kiss* bellissimo 😘🤌🏼✨ i love that not only did Eric wrote most of the songs on that album, but he also engineered/produced it! UGH! that man has it all..extremely talented, handsome, smart, funny, hardworking and so devoted to his career, all the more reason for me to fall for him more and more everyday 😍 anyways, if you like 10cc’s stuff i recommend listening to “How Dare You” “Sheet Music” and “The Original Soundtrack” next! all three are very brilliant albums and ones that really catapulted my obsession with those 10cc boys ☺️

I remember writing an essay about While My Guitar back in 10th and surprisingly I got a good grade on it. The lyrics are so profound, I think. One can interpret that song so many ways. Stairway is always a classic, but I mainly like their other not-so-popular songs. Since getting back into Zep, I’ve been repeatedly listening to their first three albums and I gotta say, every time I revisit their catalog I always end up gaining a new appreciation for their music. Lately, I’ve really obsessed with No Quarter (honestly, it’s mainly bc of jpj lol). JP’s live piano solo for No Quarter has definitely given me a newfound appreciation for him as an artist. Funny thing and I might’ve mentioned this already but, when I first got into Zeppelin years ago I only became obsessed with them bc of Jimmy Page then I went through a short Robert Plant phase, then the last time I was on my Zeppelin kick a few years ago it was bc Bonzo reeled me in lol. Jonesy always seems to be overshadowed by the other three, probably bc he was always “the quiet one” But now that I got back into them, I truly believe he was the real MVP of the group 💗

And Sweden, eh? i bet you have some interesting stories to tell about your country. I can’t say much bc I live in Northeastern United States where it’s boring and there are more cows than people, yeehaw! 🤠

No special plans for today, just watching holiday films. Couldn’t really do much today since my mom’s been sick and has been spending this entire weekend resting :(( we’re probably gonna celebrate after Christmas once she’s feeling better.

Well I hope you had a lovely celebration with you and your loved ones! I’ve really enjoyed our little banter 😊

Happy Holidays again! 🎄

#the-prince-of-professors

[kingdaddydaichi]

Scent ⁘ Kakashi Hatake x f!reader ⁘ NSFW

( Source )

Got another one for y'all for my husband's birthday...💙👑💍

MINORS 👏🏼 DO 👏🏼 NOT 👏🏼 INTERACT 👏🏼

A/N: Kakashi's sensitive sense of smell and your arousal. This is some raw, primal, feral, filthy Kakashi. If you're looking for soft, sweet, sensitive Kakashi, keep scrolling please, negl.

Warnings: scent kink, drunk sex, lots of sexual bodily fluids (m & f), face fucking, slight dubcon, squirting, facial

Word Count: 1.8k

Asuma and Kurenai are hosting one of their infamous dinner parties at their home. These things always end up the same way. Lots of friends come over, eat, then proceed to drink bottle after bottle of sake while playing drinking games until the music starts blasting and everyone loses several brain cells and have a great time making complete fools of themselves. They truly are the absolute best parties.

Kakashi doesn't frequent these parties, but you do seeing as how Kurenai is your sister from another mister. She knows about your long-time crush on Kakashi and winks at you when she sees the two of you hanging out together, talking, laughing.

His fingers brush across your arms or back every chance they can. You know exactly what you're doing when you lean forward with your arm crossed under your bosom. And Kakashi knows exactly what you're doing too. Sure enough, you're getting turned on just by talking to him and exchanging flirty looks, words, and touches.

You excuse yourself to go to the restroom, adding a little extra sway to your hips knowing he's watching you walk away. It's not the first time he has smelled the scent of your arousal, but his inhibitions have been doused in alcohol and he decides to make his move.

When you open the door to leave the bathroom, Kakashi just so happens to be waiting on the other side. You smile and twirl your hair, feeling yourself getting wetter. Your inhibitions are down as well, the alcohol giving you the courage to taunt him a little.

"Wow Kakashi, if I didn't know better I'd think that you followed me back here". He closes his eyes and takes a couple of deep breaths through his nose. "Kakashi, are you okay?"

He opens his eyes, his pupils blown wide, and stalks closer to you. You step backwards into the bathroom and he closes the door behind you.

"I can smell you".

"Oh?" You remember his ultra-sensitive sense of smell and begin to panic a little. Oh god, do I smell bad?

He takes another intentional whiff of you, your scent now more concentrated due to proximity and close quarters, never mind the fact that you're steadily getting more and more turned on by him.

"Mm...you smell..." He takes another deep breath. "...amazing".

"Really? I'm not wearing perfume or anything-"

"It's not that. Better than that. It's your scent".

"W-what do you mean?"

You watch as his lusty gaze dips from your eyes to your center. "I can smell your arousal".

Your mouth opens and you take a step back. "Y-you can?"

The edge of the double vanity is now directly behind you, so when he pushes himself against you, there's nowhere else to go. You're surprised to feel him so hard already, looking down to see the material of his pants being pushed out by his erection. Hell, you can even see the outline of the head of his cock, his bigger than average size making itself apparent.

"What are you gonna do, Kakashi?"

He smooths his hands along your thighs and hips, pushing your short skirt up before picking you up and setting you on the edge of the counter. The cool granite contrasts with your bare heat since you're not wearing any panties. The excitement, the fear, and the need for him all mix together in an exhilarating juxtaposition of desire. You hadn't been expecting this at all, but you don't want him to stop. Now that it's happening you're too curious to see what he's going to do next. How far will he go?

He brushes his thumb across your bottom lip, and you open your mouth to suck it in. You close your eyes and swirl your tongue around his digit before he pulls it out slowly and places it against your weeping slit, dragging it back and forth over your clit, pulling a moan from your parted lips. He looks you dead in the eye, pulls his mask down, and it's his turn to bring his thumb to his lips, swirling his tongue around it before sucking on it. "Mm fuck, you taste good too".

God, he's beautiful. Your gaze dips from his slate grey and red eyes down to his pretty lips, which are punctuated by a soft beauty mark just below the left corner of his mouth. You wouldn't have thought it possible, but now you want him more than ever. You squirm against the counter, smearing your slick on it as you seek relief from the hard surface pressing against your opening. At the same time, Kakashi's been grinding his cock against the cabinet below, seeking some relief of his own.

He pulls his shirt over his head before reaching down to unbuckle his belt. He unbuttons and unzips his pants before pushing the waistband of his boxer briefs down enough for his large cock to spring free, slapping the skin just below his navel, leaving a string of precum in its wake along his silver happy trail.

He breathes in deeply again, the combination of your scent and flavor making him crazy. He pulls you to the edge of the counter until you think you might fall off, but he catches you. He pushes his thick cock against your wet little cunt, pushing himself inside of you inch by delectable inch until he is fully sheathed within you.

He holds himself there as a long, throaty moan escapes your open lips, your walls already clenching down around him. You arch your back, jutting your tits out as Kakashi pulls the tiny straps of your camisole off your shoulders. He pushes the fabric down until it's bunched up around your waist along with your skirt, your tits now free to be licked and sucked on by his hot mouth with his cock still buried deep inside of you. You push your fingers into his thick hair to pull him closer and throw your head back when he flicks his tongue over one of your hard, wet nipples.

"Hold on to me", he says in his low silky voice. You obey, clutching his shoulders as he hooks his arms behind your knees. He pulls you off the counter and begins gliding his slick cock in and out of you, using the momentum of his hips and the bounce of your ass to boost the impact of his thrusts.

"Oh god, Kakashi...your dick..."

"Yeah, what about it?", he asks before licking your exposed throat.

"Nnnhhh feels so good, gonna make me cum already. So soon!"

He can indeed feel your walls closing in tighter around him as he pumps his hips even faster, digging his fingertips deep enough into your butt cheeks to leave bruises. You adjust your hold on him, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck to keep from slipping as if he wouldn't catch you anyway.

"Yeah? 'S that right? You gonna cum all over my cock?" He breathes right up against your ear.

Your pussy clenches tighter at his words. You want him to fuck you harder and you tell him as much. He's now slamming his cock into you, his breath quickening.

"Mmhmmm gonna cream all over your fat cock, 'kashi!"

Your scent becomes more and more intoxicating to him the closer you approach orgasm. His legs start to shake, but the adrenaline and testosterone coursing through his body ensure that he's able to keep pistoning his cock in and out of you at speed.

"Ahh fuck, your pussy smells so fucking good. Can't wait to taste it after you cream all over me".

Hearing those words in his deep voice does you in. Every muscle in your body seizes up as you cry out. "Ka-ka-shiiiii!"

He pushes you up against a wall and pounds into you mercilessly, your back pitching up and down the wall with every powerful rut of his hips.

"Cum for me, (y/n)! Yeah, cum all over this fucking cock, right fucking now!"

"Hahhhh that's it, 'kashi! Yeah, slam your cock into my sweet little pussy hahhh! Cumming...cumming...FUCK!"

You explode all around him, spraying your liquid everywhere.

His eyes widen when you squirt all around him and he loses all composure, bucking his hips wildly. "Oh fucking shit! Fucking yes! Oh fuck that pretty cunt of yours is coming apart around my fat cock...oh god, (y/n), I'm gonna fill you up with my fucking nut! Shit, here I cum! Here I fucking cum!"

He's still reaming you with his meaty cock when his seed starts dripping out from your opening, too much of it to hold inside. He sets you back down on the counter and you fall back, unable to even hold yourself up, while he dives face first into your cunt. He wants it all. Your cream mixed with his cum. God it is so fucking hot his dick doesn't even get soft. He wears you out with his mouth until you're ready to cum again, squirting all over his face.

Your body goes limp on the granite, every muscle including the ones in your eyelids completely spent. You can feel him pull your bottom back down to the edge of the counter before burying his hard cock deep inside you again, thrusting with wild abandon, using your body like a fuck doll as your eyes roll back in your head. You're all but unconscious as he pounds into you, wet skin clapping hard against wet skin. Pretty soon he's on edge again.

"Oh fuck, I'm gonna fill you up with my cum again, (y/n)".

He looks down to see your body moving in time with his thrusts, tits bouncing, body sliding up and down over the now slippery surface. Kakashi is fucking you raw in a pool of your slick and his semen.

"Ahh come here, I wanna cum all over your face".

He pulls you down, catching you just before your knees hit the hard tile. He stuffs his cock in your mouth and fucks your face while you try to push back on his trembling thighs. But it's no match for his strength as he uses your hair to guide your mouth along his cock. You gag and choke, saliva pouring out of your mouth, but that only seems to egg him on more.

"Oh fuck yeah, fuck yeah! You look so pretty when I fuck your face like this. Shit!"

He continues throwing his hips forward as his balls tighten up so much they're not even hanging anymore.

"Ah fuck, (y/n), I'm gonna cum so fuckin' hard! Gonna cover your face with my seed, yeah! Fuck, here it comes!"

He keeps a fist in your hair when he pulls out of your throat. You choke and spit and fight for air while his hot sticky semen splashes across your face with every jerk of his fist. You stick your tongue out, licking him from your lips.

"Yeah, that's right baby, eat my fucking cum," Kakashi says, using the head of his softening cock to spread his cum into your open mouth.

He draws a hot bath before stripping you down, helping you into the soothing warm water. You watch as he takes the rest of his clothes off, slipping in behind you. He washes your body, then his own before holding you back against his front, slowly stroking your hair. Comforting you. Kissing you. Caring for you.

#happy birthday kakashi #you sexy mf #he's aging like a fine wine #still beautiful asf #he acts all composed in public #but he's a freak between the sheets #let me tell you #i know my husband #he gets buck #dom asf too #kakashi hatake #hatake kakashi #ninja please #i love my husband #copy cat ninja #💍 #kakashi x f!reader #kakashi x you #kakashi x reader #kakashi x y/n #kakashi thirst #kakashi oneshot

[ava-achlys]

The Boyz NSFW Scenarios

Lee Juyeon - Curiosity

best friends! Juyeon x fem! reader

Warnings: underage sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up yall!)

- You and Juyeon were lounging around at his house after school one day. His family wasn't home so you had the whole house to yourselves for the evening, but you both chose to hang out in his room, playing video games and watching movies

- You've been best friends for a long time and had seen each other go through relationships and breakups, and both of you were very open and supportive of each other.

- You two had just finished a movie on his laptop and Juyeon was sprawled on his bed fiddling with his phone, while you were seated next to him. You suddenly remembered that you needed to search up something, so you let him know you were borrowing his laptop for a sec

- He grunts in affirmation, not even looking up from his phone. You click to open a new tab, but accidentally pull up his search history. Your eyes widen and you let out a snicker

- "You fucking horndog, is this what you're into?" you snort, slapping his leg that was closest to you. He jolts, whipping his head around to see what you were on about. He gasps in horror and tries to grab the laptop from you and you two end up wrestling on the bed. Eventually he gives in and drops his head in embarrassment, whining as you read out title after title of porn videos.

- "'Students fucking in school bathroom', 'After school blowjob', 'Biology lesson turns personal'" you suppress your laughter at the poorly-titled videos. Some were amateur, and some were proper productions. You continue to scroll through the options, ogling the tiny plaid skirts the actresses were wearing. You shoot the silent Juyeon a glance. "So... you like exhibitionism and uniforms?"

- Juyeon glares back at you. "So what if I do? Maybe you should show me your porn collection too." You chuckle, because you were actually into similar themes and you told him so. The both of you began suggesting random kinks and fetishes to see if you could agree on other things. The topic then shifts to experience.

- "How far have you gone, exactly?" you ask, propping your chin up with your hand. Both of you were sitting cross-legged in his bed, facing each other. Juyeon scratches his head, "The most I've gotten is a handjob, back when I was dating _____. And I uhh, fingered her. That's about it." "Was it good?" He shrugs nonchalantly. "Neither of us really knew what we were doing. What about you?"

- "I sucked Sangyeon off once. In the locker room. Remember when they won that state championship game?" Juyeon's jaw drops. "So that's why you took forever to get to McDonalds! I was waiting for you for ages," he huffed. You had dated the football captain for a while, but broke up amicably when he graduated a year ahead of you. You roll your eyes at Juyeon's childish complaints. "Anyway he's only fingered me too. Wasn't too bad, at least he made me cum," you added casually, leaning back and supporting your weight with your arms behind you.

- Juyeon gulps noticeably. He's wondering what it would be like to get sucked off, but he was single at the moment. Unless... "Earth to Juju, hello? What's going on in that pretty head of yours now?" you poke him in the forehead but he catches your wrist. "Did he like it?" he stares into your eyes, his dark brown orbs sparkling with excitement. "The blowjob, did Sangyeon like it?" You blink at him once, twice. "Yeah..? He came in my mouth, why?"

- Juyeon swears under his breath. He can feel himself hardening in his school trousers and he knows you see his bulge too. Your eyes drop to glance at the tent in his pants and you rest a hand on his thigh. "Juju, do you wanna try it?" you smile at him. He nods furiously.

- And that is how he ends up leaning against the headboard, pants and boxers off, legs spread to accommodate you kneeling between his thighs. You take a moment to admire his cock, standing tall and dripping precum all over his defined abs and dirtying his shirt. He was long and thick and your mouth watered. He was just as big, if not bigger than Sangyeon.

- Juyeon is watching you, already breathless with excitement. You catch his eye and smirk, hitching up your plaid skirt till it barely covered your ass. You jut your hips out, and his eyes lock onto the sight of your exposed panties reflected in the mirror. He grabs at your ass, kneading the flesh with his warm hands and you purr at the feeling. "Come on, get to it," he growls, still groping your behind.

- You scoff, but finally direct your attention to his weeping cock. You run a finger up his shaft, collecting his precum before grasping the base of his cock. He groans at the contact and bucks his hips upwards, signaling you to move your hand. You oblige, slowly stroking his length with a firm grip, swiping your thumb across his slit, prompting Juyeon to moan shamelessly.

- "Fuck, yes keep going," Juyeon shuts his eyes and ruts his hips up into your fist as you speed up your movements. Your free hand massages his thigh and you feel stickiness pooling in your panties at the sight of your best friend coming undone beneath you. His cock is red and veiny and his swollen tip glistened with precum, making your mouth water, which gives you an idea.

- You tap Juyeon's thighs so he would look at you, and as you made eye contact, you lean down and let a glob of saliva dribble down onto his cock. He swears out loud at the sight of you doing that. You were even filthier than he expected it and it turned him on so much.

- You spread your spit all over his dick before pressing a kiss to his tip and he lets out an whine. You start kitten licking all over his shaft and balls and his whines get louder, grabbing onto the sheets. Finally you decide to stop teasing him and sink your lips onto his length, taking in all of him at once.

- Juyeon groans loudly at the feeling of your warm throat and tongue around him, hips stuttering. You press his hips down so you could take control, bobbing your head up and down while hollowing your cheeks. He desperately wants to shut his eyes from the pleasure but he also wants to watch the beautiful sight of you going down on him.

- He pulls you up by your hair mid-stroke to admire how you look. Tears streaming down your face, lips swollen and slick with spit and cum. "You look so good like this. Let me fuck your pretty face?" he asks breathlessly. Taking a deep breath, you nodded, and he sinks you back down on his aching cock. He sets a punishing pace, gripping your hair tightly and thrusting his hips up into your mouth, forcing you to deepthroat him each time.

- Your jaw was starting to hurt and your throat felt raw but it felt so good to be manhandled by Juyeon that you could only take it like a good girl. In fact you were enjoying it so much that you snuck a hand into your panties and rubbed your clit in time with his thrusts.

- "I'm not gonna last long, baby. Gonna take my cum, swallow it all like a good girl?" Juyeon growled, his pace faltering slightly. You moaned around his length as a yes and he lets out a guttural moan as pushes your head down until your nose met his hipbone. He holds you in place and you feel a gush of his hot cum down your throat.

- You try not to gag, focusing on breathing through your nose as Juyeon groans loudly and rocks his hips slowly, drawing out his orgasm. Finally he pulls your hair and you keep your eyes on him as you slowly pull off his cock, a string of saliva connected from your lips to his tip. Both of you were panting harshly, and Juyeon eyes were glazed over, taking in the sight of your glistening lips, dishevelled hair and dried tear tracks down your cheek.

- You remove your fingers that were busy in your panties and hold it up in front of Juyeon. His eyes widen as he realises what you've been doing, and he takes one of your fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, savouring the taste of your juices. You hadn't cum yet, but that had been the last thing on your mind because you were too occupied with making Juyeon feel good, but now the dull ache between your thighs begged for attention.

- Juyeon notices your neediness from the way you rub your thighs together. "Let me help you?" He asks, and you're more than willing to let him return the favour.

A/N: Part 2 is right here 😉

#juyeon #the boyz smut #the boyz #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #lee juyeon #achlys: tbz imagines

[skiyoosmi]

if fate permits

⤷ chapter twenty four: just one last time

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Was I such an evil person in my past life to deserve this agony?

The damned question circles your mind over and over again as you walk mindlessly, vision blurry due to the tears that were continuously welling up your eyes. You've always thought watching him fall in love with someone else was already painful enough, but even that couldn't prepare you for the wrenching feeling that your heart felt when you cut the thread, forced to cut him out of your life, figuratively and literally speaking. Now that you're experiencing it yourself, you think that's the reason why people like you were forced to forget— the feeling of your heart endlessly falling to the dark abyss was not something anyone could live with for the rest of their lives, wondering what was so wrong with you that he couldn't bring himself to love you even with a thread physically connecting the two of you.

Stupid gods, they can't even do one thing right. His words echo and you choke out what seems like a pathetic attempt for a laugh, lips wobbling as you cry, "I know right, Tsum. They're so stupid."

Soulmates are so stupid. Your eyes linger on your thread, barely red as it began to become duller each hour that passed and had uneven ends due to the cutting that happened just a while ago. The red string, once bright and glowing in color, that kept you close to Atsumu for so many years, gone in just a few seconds and it felt so unfair, so cruel. Because how could someone decide your fate just like that?

You just have to get through it tonight, YN. Tomorrow, when you wake up, you won't even know that kind of heartbreak. Tomorrow, you repeat to yourself, trying to lessen the gut wrenching feeling swimming inside you; keyword, tried. Still, it doesn't stop the liquids that gather in your eyes and the hiccups that escape your mouth. Because you just loved him so goddamn much that you were willing to give up everything of you just for him, just for his happiness... and yet, he couldn't do it for you, not even one bit of him. And with that, you find yourself drowning in self-pity— no matter how much you sacrificed, no matter how long you put him first, it all still ended with you cutting the thread, the thing you treasured the most. It just wasn't meant to be.

The ringing of your phone resonates through the quiet and unknown park you had stopped by, the picture of your brother popping up on the screen.

"YN. Where in the hell are you? It's already late! Your flight's tomorrow night. Mom's close to losing the last bits of her mind. Tell me whe—"

"'Yoomi," you sob like a child, the minimal strength that kept you standing up finally giving in to your overwhelming emotions as your legs gave out as well, falling on your butt as you clutched your chest in pain, "'Yoomi."

You tried to get words out but your heavy cries stopped you from doing so, only being able to speak out his name.

"YN? What happened? Hey... take a deep breath and tell me where you are, I'll come get you myself and then we can talk about it, yeah?"

The usual monotonous voice he spoke vanished into thin air and was replaced with one that were filled with worry and concern. From the background, you can hear him telling your parents to just stay still, despite their sound of disapprovals, accompanied by the jiggling of keys which you figure were for the car, "YN, tell me where you are. Please."

"I... I..." you hiccup, looking around you for any prominent signs or landmarks, "I'm in a random park and t-there's a convenience store across. The one that we first went to when we moved to Tokyo."

"Okay. Just stay right there. I'm coming."

Kiyoomi takes a deep breath, lightly knocking on your bedroom door, sighing in relief when you responded with a quiet 'come in,' voice muffled. It has been past an hour since you arrived home, your parents opting to leave you alone as soon as they saw your swollen eyes; although, your brother couldn't obviously just sit still and look pretty, not when you're feeling like this when you're leaving tomorrow. He pushes the door open, wincing at the mess that welcomed him— some of your clothes were still not packed, luggages were lying down on the floor and there you were, on the bed, face down and shoved to the pillow.

"Did a storm pass by?" He asks, trying to at least lighten the mood, sitting at the foot of the bed and beginning to fix your things for you. He knew better than to pry, especially when he already had a guess on who brought you in such a devastated state. Instead of replying, you hold your hand up, he can see it for himself anyway.

His usually-calm demeanor breaks as he saw your thread, now in a dark maroon color. He stood up so quick that he felt lightheaded, "YN!"

Your head turns to him, eyes watering once more as you sob, "'Yoomi... I feel dead. Like my heart was forcefully ripped out of my chest. I... I don't know what to do... I can't take this."

He approaches you, engulfing your form in a hug, whispering his comforts as he speaks a gazillion of curses to Atsumu in his mind. He swears he might just punch the blonde to death as soon as he sees him, "You'll be okay. We're here. You're gonna be fine."

"I... I don't want to forget him... Please don't take him away from me... I love him," you cry out to the gods above, praying so desperately even if you knew it was impossible. You were no one special, who were you to be graced with such a miracle? And yet here you were, weeping the same prayers over and over again, knowing deep inside that no matter how much you beg, even if you were already on your knees, tomorrow would still come— the tomorrow that has no Miya Atsumu in it.

At that moment, you wished you hadn't just befriended him, you wished you just left him alone when he was playing with your brother; because nothing could compare to the pain of losing all of him— your soulmate, your beloved, your best friend— in just a matter of seconds.

Kiyoomi finishes packing for you by the time you calmed down a bit and leaves you alone, speaking about you should rest for your flight. As if you could do that... the moment you close your eyes, it's really over because the next time you open them, it's going to be a new YN. Gone will be you who knew each and every part of him, replaced with someone who won't even be able to recognize him...

Yet despite your heart's refusal towards the truth, your mind contradicts it and thinks back to his previous words, "...it has been too long of waiting..."

With that, your resolve crumbles into pieces and you find your eyes fluttering close. Somehow, you give out a small and sad smile, heart aching because of him... just one last time.

I'm sorry for not keeping my promise, Atsumu.

note. no words just... tears up because the next one might just be sadder than this

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu smau #atsumu x reader #iwaizumi x reader #atsumu headcanons #iwaizumi headcanons #atsumu smau #iwaizumi smau #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fics #haikyuu writings #miya atsumu #iwaizumi hajime

[thetrap]

why i think deancas just might go canon

i’ve been wanting to write this for a bit, but i haven’t really had the time until now. basically this is just a super unorganized collection of thoughts i have on why i think that dean and castiel actually have a fairly decent shot of becoming canon (and by decent shot i mean like.....a solid 5% chance. and that’s being generous). this is based off of the show itself (obviously), quotes from andrew dabb, and other things.

1. andrew dabb is deancas positive

i made a post a while back that never made it out of the drafts, but it was basically a summation of all the good deancas shit dabb has given us as a writer. here are the bullet points:

- the hug/"i'm not leaving here without you!" moment in purgatory (8x02) 

- "don't lose it over one man"

- "he's in love.....with humanity"

- cas/colette parallel ("dean. stop.") in 10x22

- just the fight scene from the prisoner in general like......wow

- sam/jess and dean/cas parallel in 12x23

- "we've lost everything......and now, you're gonna bring him back" + dean's just generally overwhelming grief in 13x01

- "and how is it that you lost dean? i thought the two of you were joined at the.....you know, everything"

and these are just the big moments.

also notable is the fact that an activist sent dabb (and some of the other producers of spn i think) a book about dean and cas and why the fans want it/why it would be a good thing for the show. a few years later, meghan fitzmartin (who wrote the most recent episode!) was hired as dabb’s assistant, went into his office and posted a tweet a with pictures of the book, saying something along the lines of “doing some reading for work!”

the fact that dabb actually kept a fanmade deancas book for years.....the fact that he’s consistently written episodes with really strong subtext for years.....the fact that the dean and castiel romantic tension has only picked up since he took over as showrunner (mixtape, lily sunder, cas’s death, dean’s grief arc, the entirety of season fifteen, etc.)......idk i just think it’s really interesting that there has been such a marked shift since he was put in charge.

2. the mixtape

i know this was a few seasons ago, but it’s still relevant because like. a mixtape is not platonic. this scene was not platonic. full-stop.

and it’s not even the act by itself; it’s also the dialogue!! “it was a gift. you keep those.” this is more than likely a direct callback to aragorn and arwen in lord of the rings (that’s the first thing i thought of, at least).

the fact that dabb let this slide, like......he knows what this looks like. berens and glynn, who wrote this episode, know what it looks like. they knew precisely how this would be perceived, and then wrote and aired the scene anyways.

and that’s not even getting into the camerawork. like what?? was this shot???

yeah so. definitely not platonic.

3. the trap

honestly i thought about just posting this part of this overlong essay thing, because to me, this is the episode where i went okay, so this might actually happen.

there are SO many things in this episode that made me go insane the first time i watched it (”i left, but you didn’t stop me”) but the thing that stuck out to me the most was dean’s reaction to castiel saying, “you don’t have to say it. i heard your prayer,” when dean tries to tell him something.

like?????? he does not look relieved!! nor does he look particularly happy!!

hell, if you go back and watch the video you can literally see him swallow his words down like....jensen ackles is the master of micro expressions and that shit is Not Accidental. this moment 100% gives the vibe that there is something that is not being said. the camera following dean as he gives cas a lingering look is really interesting too.

3. dabb’s comments about dean and cas in season 15

this part is actually sort of related to the point above, since a lot of dabb’s comments are in reference to “the trap.” here are some interesting ones that i want to point out:

But the Leviathan won’t be the focal point of the purgatory story. Rather, it’s about what Dean and Castiel are going through. “They’re not going to resolve the emotional stuff, but it allows them to redefine their friendship a little bit in light of what’s happened especially earlier this season,” Dabb says. (x)

the key thing here is that dabb said that, in 15x09, dean and cas are “not going to resolve the emotional stuff.”

now. i don’t know about you, but dean falling to his knees, praying to cas and weeping feels a lot like emotional resolution to me. like, sure, things will probably be awkward between them for a while, but surely this is the peak moment of their emotional vulnerability with each other, right? surely this is the moment where they’ve resolved the issue between them? like how the fuck does it get more intensely emotional than this??

yet dabb seems to be implying that it will, which leaves us with the million dollar question: what is left about dean and cas’ relationship to resolve?

keep in mind that as of 15x16, there hasn’t been much forward movement on that front; that is, we’ve had some cute moments between them, but in terms of serious conversation about their relationship, there’s been basically nothing. so we can assume that this development, whatever it is, will occur in 15x18, since dean and cas will be separated for most of 15x17, as cas will be off with sam.

aka the episode where cas will likely get yanked away by the empty. aka the episode with the teary (!!!) conversation we saw in the promo between dean and cas.

also notable from the above quote is dabb saying that dean and cas are redefining their friendship. like....redefining how? to what?? that wording is just really interesting to me.

another quote from dabb re “the trap”:

(x)

it forces them to “start that process.” indicating yet again that the prayer scene between dean and cas is not the moment where whatever is between them is resolved. yet, from where we are right now, dean and cas seem mostly fine. which means that whatever they have yet to work out doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with their fight.

lastly:

a really significant chunk of what happens to dean in 15x09 is him confronting his issues with cas. don’t get me wrong - there are other important things that happen in the episode - but the fact that an episode where so much time/emotional energy is given to dean and cas’ dynamic is considered a turning point for dean is very notable and, to me, speaks to the importance of their relationship for the rest of the season.

4. dean/cas and sam/eileen being set up as units

i’m of the opinion that sam and dean will (by choice) go their separate ways at the end of the show. i think this for a variety of reasons that i wrote about here, and to add onto this, i think that dean/cas and sam/eileen are, in a way, being set up as two units.

this theory comes from two points:

1. the fact that eileen got brought back at all

this isn’t to say that eileen isn’t an interesting character all on her own/outside of her romance with sam, but the fact that they brought her back and then proceeded to set her up in this romance feels really significant to me. what’s especially interesting is how, even after she leaves in 15x09, we get a continuation of their romance in 15x14. i don’t necessarily think that she’s sam’s endgame in the sense that the final episode will show sam going to her or whatever, but i do think that part of the reason she was brought back was so that sam would have someone who he loves/someone he could potentially build a life with after he and dean defeat chuck.

2. the way the two couples were portrayed in “the trap”

like....just watch the future scenes in the bunker. there’s very much a sense that these are two couples living together. and “ever since the mark made cas go crazy, ever since i had to bury him in a ma’lak box.” note the use of i, not we. and then dean/cas and sam/eileen are directly paralleled when dean tells sam he needs to give it up after eileen’s death, comparing it to how dean has given it up after having to bury cas in the ma’lak box.

5. dean does not do Well without cas

this is probably an understatement. there have been a couple of notable instances in this season where the viewer is given a glimpse of what happens to dean when cas dies/is in danger of death/is separated from dean (in case the whole ass widower arc in s13 wasn’t enough).

two of these are from “the trap”:

1. dean freaking out/crying/praying when he’s separated from cas in purgatory

2. dean giving up on life/hunting after burying cas in the ma’lak box in the future world

3. dean’s reaction to cas temporarily going to the empty in 15x13

the one i want to spend the most time on is number two, in large part because sam was witness to it and i think that this might get brought up in 15x17.

part of my spec for that episode is that cas will tell sam about his deal/sam will find out somehow, and in reaction sam might tell cas about how dean reacted to his death in s13 - a conversation that was notably absent from the show when cas finally returned in 13x05. i also think that he might mention no. 2 above, basically telling cas that if he dies, dean is done. that he won’t be able to handle it/move past it. the show has been telling us this over and over for a while now, and it’s only been emphasized more in season 15. i think that 15x17 is the episode where this will finally be verbally expressed.

to me, all of this emphasis on dean giving up when cas is gone isn’t for nothing. in my opinion, it’s being done very purposefully to set up an endgame where dean and cas are together in some sense of the word. and a lot of what i’ve said above is what makes me think it’ll be a Romantic together.

5. bobo berens’ three part deancas saga

so we all know that berens is pretty much spn’s foremost deancas warrior, and what i want to point out here is how this season has been utilizing him as a writer.

this season, berens has three solo episodes (he wrote “galaxy brain” with meredith glynn):

1. the rupture

2. the trap

3. despair (formerly known as “the truth”)

so far, these first two episodes have had major deancas moments. you could even label them as:

1. the rupture (the breakup)

2. the trap (the reconciliation)

3. depair (???)

keep in mind also that berens wrote 14x18, where the dean and cas sort of had a preliminary breakup. he’s been in charge of this arc for a while, and the fact that so much of his writing this season has been deancas focused.......i don’t know, i just think it’s significant in part because, while berens has always been deancas positive, he also writes plenty of episodes that aren’t focused on dean and cas. but now, in the final season, the dean and cas emotional arc has been handed to him, and it’s been the primary focus on his writing.

(sidenote: berens was promoted to executive producer for this final season)

to me, this is all leading to a big moment between dean and cas in 15x18 - and the fact that it was at one point called “the truth,” only to be switched back to despair - makes me think that there will be some sort of confession involved. my money is on cas being the one to say it (especially since this would line up with the leak), especially given the glimpse we saw of (what might be) this moment in the promo. which leads me to...

6. cas does not cry

i saved this for last because the promo where we see teary-eyed cas is actually what pulled me back into this shitshow.

cas does not cry. like. ever. he got a little teary in 15x15, when jack told him of his plan to sacrifice himself, but we have never - never - seen him shed actual tears. and in the promo, particularly that shot where cas says “you have fought for this whole world,” it 100% looks like cas is about to cry cry.

cas has seen his son die. he has seen dean die. he died himself, over and over and over. and we have never seen him cry.

yet for some reason, in this moment of vulnerability with dean, he’s crying. i find it highly unlikely that cas would cry because of his impending death, for a number of reasons (for one, he wouldn’t want to upset dean more than he has to). so, assuming he’s not crying because of his own death, then what is making cas so emotional that he is genuinely crying for the first time in the twelve seasons he has been on the show?

my guys.....i can only think of one thing.

#THIS IS SO FUCKING LONG OH MY GOD #i'm so sorry for this i just have SO many thoughts about this and had to get them all down #disclaimer: i still think it's highly unlikely we'll get confirmed romantic deancas #but i do think there's a chance #and this is why #deancas #destiel #s15 spoilers #spec

[shugokairifatewin]

I need to rant about Code Lyoko.

I watched this show as a kid, a little ten year old if recall correctly, and I was OBSESSED with it. I loved the characters, I loved the music, I loved the story and the concept and it really shaped my life in a lot of ways but I never got to finish it as a kid.

Fast-forward fifteen years and here we are, Netflix comes out of left field with my favorite childhood TV show and I'm stoked - LIKE I'M REALLY STOKED, this is what I've been waiting for, this is it! I can finally see what happens after all the sectors are deleted (I had watched on and off up until about Season 3 and I had seen some of season 4 with William being possessed / on Lyoko - what's that saying about kinks coming from your favorite Villains?)

Anyway, putting my favorite Good-Character-Possessed-Against-Their-Will-And-Forced-To-Fight-For-Evil Trope 👀

So I rewatch the whole thing, I want to refresh everything and enjoy the experience and relive my childhood. And I'm chugging through season 4, eating UP That William Angst, gotta save William, gonna save William, William isn't himself, he doesn't mean to hurt us - LIVING FOR IT - and then I start to get a little nervous because I finish episode 26 and I'm like alright we have 3 episodes don't be playing with me Code Lyoko I need some William Redemption in here, that's what I live for after this angst fest, we love angst with a happy ending-

Except that's not what we get at ALL. We get the Lyoko Warriors - whom I love very dearly, each and every one of them with my soul and heart - celebrating for like 10 seconds - MAYBE and then we see these little shits BLOWING WILLIAM OFF IN THE NEXT EPISODE LIKE HES STILL HALF-POSSESSED, LIKE XANA ABOUT TO COME IN AND STRANGLE AELITA - and don't get me wrong because I get it, it's all about paranoia, think about the lasting effects Xana has probably already given these poor kiddos and now we're going to add the fact that William was literally forged into a Xana Warrior to further tip the scales in Xana's favor - I've considered that it wouldn't be easy for them to just pretend like that didn't happen - but to completely drop him? To literally just refuse to let him be a part of the gang? First of all, not even looking at how morally FUCKED that decision is, but Bro he knows your secret, he remembers when you Return to the Past, you guys fucking decided to bring him into your group, you can't just undecide that he's in it. He could really mess y'all up - BUT HE DOESN'T HE INSTEAD HELPS YOU GUYS WHEN YOU NEED HIM EVEN THOUGH Y'ALL TREATING HIM LIKE A TRASH CAN AND THEN WHEN YOU FUCKS REFUSE TO LET HIM GO TO LYOKO TO REDEEM HIMSELF AND GET A LITTLE ANGER AT XANA FOR OH I DONT KNOW RUINING HIS FUCKING LIFE - HE 👏 GETS 👏 POSSESSED 👏 AGAIN 👏 WHICH WOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU GUYS HAD LET HIM COME WITH YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE INSTEAD OF DISTRUSTING AND ASSUMING

Can you even fathom the amount of PTSD, the amount of guilt that William has? Let's just pretend for a second that it isn't all sunflowers and rainbows because it's a kid show and William's memory of his time possessed by Xana isn't magically blank, let's talk realistically here for a second. William would be so fucking wrecked afterwards, he literally would feel so guilty, he'd have some crazy bad anxiety. And to top it the fuck off, all his friends are literally estranging him. my heart literally WEEPS for William. THEY DIDNT EVEN INVITE HIM TO THE SUPER COMPUTER SHUT DOWN PARTY. WHAT THE ACTUAL-

I'm going to watch Code Lyoko Evolution ONLY SO THAT I CAN SEE IF THEY REDEEM THIS ENDING BECAUSE WILLIAM FUCKING DESERVED MORE! The last three episodes of Code Lyoko could've been a whole season on its own. Could've spent a whole season getting William back into the group, helping him mo e past his anxiety and his guilt, could've had him redeem himself on Lyoko and let the group rely on him, let him come through for them so that everything's RIGHT IN THE END. Convince me otherwise.

#code lyoko #code lyoko spoilers #what the shit was that ending #william deserves a happy freaken ending #literally william would be in tatters mentally #aelita is a real angel #i need to see some lasting effects #i need the lyoko warriors to be the precious kiddos who cares for their friends again #code lyoko rant #code lyoko aftermath #i really do love the Lyoko Warriors #im not shitting on them for the sake of shitting on them #they really just did William dirty

[imagine-your-love-story]

We always come to you to gush...so, here's a free gush card for you! 🥰

YAY!! you are so kind, dearest anon!!! thank you so much!!!! :D

*cracks knuckles* here we go!! :)

Recently, I fell head over heels for a brand new f/o and I am OBSESSED. So prepare yourself for le gushing extraordinaire ;)

Rip Wheeler from Yellowstone has absolutely stolen my heart (not even gonna pretend as if I didn't hand it over on a golden platter 😋 )

(If you're under 18, definitely do not watch the show. I'm taking it carefully because of some heavy duty triggering themes. But Youtube has some excellent (clean) clips! And if anyone happens to notice there seems to be a cowboy-esque lean to a majority of my f/os...you would be totally right, I definitely have a type 😋 )

So Rip is...terrifying, to say the least 🤣 As in: "I can make your problems go away" = murder (but he's the good guy I swear! the morality of this show is so much gray area...)

(Why does little ol' me, shy, introverted, and riddled with anxiety end up with these f/o dudes twice my size who could snap you in half without breaking a sweat???? I don't know!! But I'm livin' the dream!!!)

Anyway, yeah so Rip is...the softy-est softie. Mush pot. Hearteyes Central here, folks.

(Yeah, he's got blood on his hands. And he knows how to hide a body in more ways than one...don't look at me like that)

He had a really shitty childhood (super abusive family, he doesn't even know what day he was born, never had a birthday celebrated, etc.)

He's the foreman on a giant ranch in Montana now and let me tell you your girl right here is SWOONING. *chef's kiss*

He's a GIANT sucker for pet names. Honey, baby, sweetie, I WEEP.

Also: every time he says "darlin'" with a touch of that polite country boy accent??? Lay me down to rest in a shallow grave, my loves, I'm deceased!!

Protective level ramped up to: 110% bloodthirsty level. Will not bat an eye to break bones and bust heads if someone hurts the people he loves.

There's EVEN MORE:

He's so good and gentle with horses

He prefers the wild range of Montana instead of small talk and socializing (CLEARLY we're soulmates on that fact alone 🤣)

Canonically the first one to say "I love you" in a relationship (no constipated displays of emotion here! yes, he's a murderer, stop pointing that out)

Soooo tactile with physical affection, I mean we're talking: cupping your cheek, cradling your face in his hands, pulling you onto his lap... 😩😩😩

Has actually canonically said he doesn't want kids (THANK GOD)

I could go on and on but I'm definitely besotted with this cowboy :)

#asks #gush tag #anonymous

[meimae]

I definitely took my time with this as I had to collect my thoughts a little, but it’s finally time for my March 2021 Immersion Overview!

Something I never included in my language learning tracking sheet before was my daily/monthly hours spent for reading and listening. It was always a cumulative total for each, one for my short term daily goal that I fill in and wipe away the next day, and one for my yearly long term goal that slowly ticks down as I input my numbers throughout the year.

Tracking language learning can be both very motivating and stressful so I didn't want to permanently track my daily inputs (a.k.a. putting a date on everything and knowing exactly when I goofed around and didn't take in enough input for the day). I always felt that that will only make me look at the days where I did not hit my daily goal, and feel bad about it, which can inevitably cause myself to burnout.

Anyway, the point of this whole intro is, I think I'll at least try to start tracking my monthlies just to see if that's going to be motivating. It's a new year of immersion learning for me, so it's time to mix it up a little, and I am already seeing some interesting results, because oh boy, did I read last March therefore neglecting my listening rip.

READING: 95.1 hours

MANGA

ザ ·フェブル was part of manga club last month. It was such a surprisingly interesting read, and something I wouldn't have looked into if it weren't for the club. The humor and the cool art style kept me going for sure. Also, ようこさん is best girl.

ちはやふる

You guys have no idea how long I've waited to read ちはやふる Vol. 46, and I'm so happy to get my hands on it now finally.

Every discussion board I've been to for this manga/anime is just slathered with questions about who's going to end up with who, and I get it and I want to know, too. 幼馴染 romances are my favorite tv trope, especially when there are layers in the competitiveness of it all, but my goodness, please let us not forget how good the friendships are written in this manga I'm begging.

Here's a spoiler panel from the manga and my heart is weeping:

君に届け

Started reading this again from the start. I used to read fan translations of this and it took years to even get close to the ending, and before I ever did finish it, I had already started immersion learning so there's no point in going back to the English version. I forgot how messy the panels are my goodness. This would be an otherwise easy read if not for that.

VISUAL NOVEL

Island, man. It's still going strong. This is where the bulk of my reading immersion came from in the past month and I seriously don't regret diving into visual novels because of this.

I am so excited to finish just so I can show you guys the gains, the gains!

LISTENING: 19.68 hours

ANIME

I've felt kind of burnt out from anime, to be honest. Not that there's nothing good to watch, but in fact, there's plenty that I want to check out that I'm saving until such time when I can comprehend verbal input without thinking about it too much.

ラブライブ! School Idol Project was a club recommendation. I heard about it before, but was unsure because of the whole idol aspect (sounds familiar? あまちゃん anyone?) It was obviously very 萌 and suprisingly wholesome. I might watch the second season in April. I still prefer K-On! levels of 萌 tho.

DRAMA & MOVIES

Not gonna lie, I had a bit of a hangover from reading ザ ·フェブル and wanted more, so I was pretty stoked to discover that it had a live adaptation. As far as live actions go, it wasn't too bad and stayed true to the original as much as it could. The cast was good too. I do wonder if it would've worked better as a series though, because it ends in such a underwhelming manner, and I'm not sure if the second movie is still in the works.

Of course, after seeing 山本美月 cast in The Fable, I was reminded of パーフェクトワールド, something I saw very early on in my immersion journey, so I decided on an unsubbed rewatch. Still as heartwarming as ever. Was also reminded about how much I disliked the promotional poster which is basically an ending spoiler. I wish I can find the manga for this, because after looking at the volume covers, I'm positive it goes beyond what was shown in the drama.

I also missed 桐谷美玲's acting so decided to check out リベンジ Girl instead of rewatching 好きな人がいること for the nth time and was not disappointed because she portrayed a very different character personality from what I'm used to seeing from her. Nothing too plot heavy.

That's it for March! Really impressed with how much I managed to read which was my #1 goal entering my second year of immersion. Hopefully I can find a balance between reading and listening though, because I immediately noticed a drop in my listening comprehension (being unable to hear and understand some phrases that I should be able to parse by now).

☆

I joined my club's new immersion logs this April. Nothing too competitive so far, just a monthly leaderboard that is in its test run. I find it very motivating to try to immerse as much as the people who are somewhere within the N1+ comprehension range, so I hope they keep it. I'm also considering joining other reading challenges, but I'm on the fence with those, because there are a lot of people who are crazy good already and read very fast, and I don't want to start anything that could prove demotivating in the long run.

Also, hello to the influx of new followers the past couple of weeks! Hope you guys enjoy my posts and stick around. :)

I'll leave this post here and hope to catch you all again next time!

#language acquisition #language learning #langblr #study blog #studyblr #japanese language #japanese #language immersion #japanese langblr #japanese studyblr #chihayafuru #the fable #kimi ni todoke #island #revenge girl #perfect world #love live #immersion overview

[fisheoctrashdump]

"Mystery flavor, huh?" 

The man in front of her smiled sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders. 

Tez smirked. "You know, the last time I trusted your cooking, I regretted it." 

"I'm getting better now! I promise, this will at least be palatable." He held the spoon out to her with a hand cupped underneath to catch any potential drips.

She sighed and leaned forward to take the bite she was being offered. The saltiness hit her taste buds immediately, and she grimaced. 

"You lied to me," she said bitterly, barely swallowing the liquid. 

"What? I think it's good." 

Tez shook her head. "Jax." 

"Well, Josine liked it." 

"She likes any soup you make for her." 

Jax laughed and set the spoon on the cluttered counter. "Okay, how would you fix it, then?" 

Tez raised an eyebrow. "That?" She gestured to the pot. "There's no fixing that." 

Jax groaned dramatically. 

"Oh, you know what would be good for next time? Add some sugar to the tomatoes and cook them down before you put them in the soup. Trust me, Jo will love that." 

"Mommy?" 

Tez and Jax instinctively looked down. A small child with curly silver hair stood beside Tez. His tiny hand was curled around the bottom of Tez's shirt, and he seemed troubled somehow. 

"What is it?" Tez asked gently. 

Razi retreated further behind Tez's arm and mumbled something incoherent. 

"I'll start cleaning up," Jax announced. He lifted the pot from the stove and walked it over to the sink, leaving Tez and Razi on the other side of the kitchen. 

Tez crouched down so that she and Razi were eye level. She placed both of her hands on his shoulders, and smiled comfortingly at him. 

"Tell me what you're thinking, Razi." 

Razi avoided Tez's gaze. He seemed to grow more upset with each passing moment, until tears threatened to fall. 

Tez rubbed her hands on Razi's arms. "Hey, it's alright. If you can't tell me, why don't you show me?" 

He finally looked at Tez. Reluctantly, Razi nodded and reached for one of Tez's hands. Tez stood and allowed her son to lead her out of the room. She and Jax shared one last curious glance before she entered the dining room.

As they passed the table, Razi coughed lightly, stumbling a moment as he did.

"You okay?" 

"Mhm."

The sound of someone crying entered Tez's attention. It got louder as they approached the doorway to the living room. 

"What happened?" Tez asked. 

Razi froze at the doorway and looked back at Tez. He was still clearly upset. The grip he held on Tez's hand tightened. 

Tez squeezed his hand in return before stepping around him. Razi whimpered, and grabbed Tez's arm with his other hand. 

As Tez peered into the living room, she noticed a broken item. The pieces lay scattered on the orange rug, and standing over this item was Mihdia. Josine, who had settled just behind, looked just as worried as Tez felt. 

"Are you two okay?" Tez questioned. "What happened?" 

The two teens looked up at the sound of Tez's voice. Mihdia's crying paused momentarily before she noticed Razi hiding behind Tez. Her expression darkened as more tears fell. Razi desperately clung to Tez now, and she could feel his tears against her arm as he began to cry as well. 

"Mihdia's snow globe is broken," Josine explained. 

"Razi broke it," Midhia sniffled. "He did it." 

Josine frowned. "You know he didn't mean to." 

"I'm sorry," Razi cried. His small body trembled as his crying rivaled Mihdia's. "I'm really sorry." 

Tez instinctively moved her hand over Razi's head. Her fingers gently pulled at the curls of his hair as Tez assessed the situation. 

"Jax?" Tez called out loudly. 

Several moments passed before Tez saw Jax approaching from the kitchen. He walked across the dining room to meet Tez where she stood. 

Tez gestured to the scene in the living room. Jax looked stunned. 

"Apparently Razi broke one of Mihdia's things. A snow globe?" 

"Oh. Oh, no." Jax looked down at Razi, who only cried harder. 

Tez instinctively stuck an arm out in front of Razi. 

Jax tried to smile at Razi reassuringly, but the expression didn't reach his eyes. "It's gonna be okay, Razi. No one's mad at you." 

"It was an accident, so I would hope not," Tez snapped. 

Jax gave Tez an apologetic look before he entered the living room. 

"Go away," Mihdia growled. 

Jax looked down at the broken pieces and sighed. "Be careful of the glass." 

"Oh, thank you so much for the warning. I had no idea that glass is something I should avoid." 

Josine grabbed Midhia's arm gently. Her expression was melting from worry to hurt. "Mihdia…" 

Mihdia glared at Josine momentarily before yanking her arm away from her grip. 

"Why are you acting like this?" Josine asked. The desperation in her tone was enough to make Tez feel bad for Josine instead of Mihdia. 

"She needs some time," Jax said to Josine quietly. "Give her some space." 

"You think you know what I need?" Midhia shouted. "What I need is for this to never have fucking happened!" Mihdia gestured the rug. Her tears still fell from her eyes, but it was easy to see they were now fueled by a different emotion entirely.

"I didn't mean it like that." 

"I need dad." 

The sudden calm of Mihdia's voice was jarring. Jax took a half step backwards and cleared his throat. 

"He… he won't be back until tomorrow. You know that." 

"Then I'm leaving." 

"Midhia, please."

The entire room paused to look at Josine after the words she managed to throw in during the argument. She looked scared. 

Mihdia exhaled shakily. "I need to be alone right now." 

She glared sharply at Jax for a moment before she rushed to the stairs. They all listened to her as she left. The sound of a door slamming pulled them out of the daze they were in. 

Tez released the air she had been holding. She met Jax's gaze for a moment before she looked between the two remaining children in the room. 

"Are you alright?" 

Josine shook her head, indicating that she wasn't. At some point during the commotion, Razi had wrapped his arms around Tez's waist and buried his face in her shirt.

Jax took a few careful steps towards Josine and opened his arms to her. She fell forward into the hug and began to weep quietly. Jax held her tight, as if he was the only thing holding her together. 

"Mommy, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." 

Tez's attention was turned back to Razi who now looked up at her, his face tear stained. 

"It's alright, sweetie. It was an accident." 

Razi sniffled and tried to wipe his face with his hand, but Tez stopped him before he could. She searched the room for her bag, and once located, she led Razi over to it. She hastily began to remove the many items contained within until she found the wipes. 

"Is Mihdia mad at me?" Razi asked nervously.

"No, she's not mad at you." Tez lifted Razi's head by pushing his chin up and began to clean his face with the wipe. 

"Am I-" Razi closed his mouth as Tez wiped it. "Am I in trouble?" 

"No." Tez stuffed the wipe in the side pocket of her bag. 

"Is Mihdia gonna tell mama?" 

Tez froze. She opened her mouth, but her voice felt stuck. Razi noticed this, and whimpered. 

"No, of course not. Mama won't know," Tez declared. 

"She's gonna be mad…" 

"She won't, because we won't tell her." 

Razi silently watched Tez with wide eyes, still looking unsure.

"How about tomorrow we could say we're sorry to Mihdia." 

Razi nodded. 

"We could… we could bring her some cookies. You wanna help me make them?" 

Razi smiled. "Can we make the puppy ones?" 

Tez grinned and leaned down, motioning Razi to come closer. "I don't know," she said quietly. "We might attract the cookie bandit if we do." 

Razi giggled. "We can share!" 

"Oh, but he wants all the cookies for himself!" 

She grabbed Razi's sides to tickle him, which caused Razi to squirm and laugh. 

"Okay." Tez lifted Razi up to one of the dining room chairs and sat him down. "I need to go check on Jax and Jo, so you stay here, alright?" 

Razi nodded. 

"You wanna color while I'm gone?" 

Razi nodded again. 

Tez smiled and removed the book and crayons from her bag. She carefully set them down in front of Razi, before she leaned down to kiss him on top of the head. 

"I love you, mommy." 

"Lots and lots?" 

"Mhm." 

"I love you, too." 

-

A bang at Razi's door startled him out of the trance he'd fallen into. He hastily pulled the headphones from his ears and looked away from his textbook for the first time in an hour. 

"Razi? Can you come out here?" 

"Yeah, one second." 

Razi draped his headphones around the back of his neck as he stood from his desk. He stumbled a moment when the wheel of his chair caught on the rug behind it. Razi caught himself by grabbing the desk. 

When he finally reached the door, he noticed his music was still playing loudly. Razi pulled his phone from the front pocket of his hoodie and paused the song that was playing as his other hand turned the doorknob to pull the door open.

In front of the doorway stood his father, Michael. 

"Hey, you have company." 

"Huh?" Razi gave Michael a confused look, but followed him out to the living room anyway. He paused at the end of the hallway as his gaze swept the living room. He finally noticed the two people standing by the front door. 

"Oh, there you are," Galatea said. 

"Took him long enough," Arvid grumbled.

At the sight of Galatea, Razi felt his face burn, and he looked down to double check his clothing. Arvid rolled his eyes and leaned against the closet door behind him. 

"What are you… doing here?" Razi asked nervously. 

"What are we-?" Arvid sighed. 

"You forgot, didn't you? I can't believe you, Puppy," Galatea teased. 

"Forgot… what?" 

"Our plans today? I blew off Izan for this, and now you're saying you're not even going?" Arvid glared at Razi. 

"I didn't… um…" 

"Oh, he's going." Galatea smirked. "Go get ready! We'll wait." 

Razi glanced over at Michael, who only shrugged and left for the kitchen. 

"Okay, I'll… I'll be back." 

Razi left for his bedroom, feeling a little confused. He didn't remember making any plans today. He paused in front of his door and traced his fingertips across the handle nervously. Maybe this is a good thing, he thought. Getting out for the day might help with this feeling.

-

Razi rolled the cord of his headphones between his fingers as he watched the world pass outside. Arvid had taken control of the music and was playing the sixth Simple Plan song in a row, but Razi didn't complain. He listened absently as Galatea teased Arvid. 

"Where are we going?" Razi asked suddenly. 

"Dude, where have you been this past week?" Arvid leaned his head back against the seat. 

Galatea's gaze briefly left the road to glance at Razi in her rearview mirror. 

"Did you have an idea? We can change plans if you want." 

Arvid looked at Galatea in disbelief, but she ignored this. 

"Anywhere is fine, I guess," Razi said. 

Galatea turned the volume down on the music. "What?" 

"I said, um… anywhere is fine. I didn't have any ideas." He paused. "I don't know why I don't remember… making plans?" 

Arvid sighed and readjusted his seatbelt. 

"Just pick a place," Galatea said. "Wherever you wanna go." 

Razi sat in thought. A minute passed before Arvid looked back at Razi. He gave Arvid a pleading look, which signalled to Arvid he needed to jump in. 

"What about the arcade?" Arvid suggested. 

Razi paused for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Yeah, let's do that." 

Galatea didn't seem convinced. "Razi, you don't play video games." 

There was a moment of silence. 

"Well, I wanna try it. To be honest, I've been feeling…" Razi exhaled. "Maybe doing something different than normal might help." 

"So, the arcade it is!" 

Galatea glanced at Arvid briefly. "Sounds fun," she added. However, she still seemed unsure. 

Razi stuffed his hands into his hoodie pocket to find the pack of gum he needed to calm down. He unwrapped the stick and put it in his mouth quickly before he turned to look out the window once again. 

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt his phone vibrate. He saw it was a message from Arvid, and unlocked his phone.

Razi glanced up at Arvid. He seemed to be typing more, so Razi left the conversation open.

"Thank you." 

It was several moments before Razi realized he said this out loud. He frantically began to type out an apology to Arvid. 

"Sure," Arvid replied. He awkwardly reached for the volume on the music and turned it up to fill the silence. 

No one spoke the rest of the ride. The gum in Razi's mouth finally lost its flavor, and Razi removed it to put it in the wrapper it came from. He still felt on edge. There was a moment where he considered taking out another piece, but before he knew it the string of his hoodie was in his mouth. He chewed on it and returned his gaze to the window just in time to see Galatea drive past the arcade. 

He looked in her direction, but decided not to point this out. Either she had a reason, or she just missed the turn and would correct it.

The drive continued for another five minutes. Both passengers were curiously watching Galatea for any clues about their destination. Arvid seemed ready to ask the question, but Galatea put on her signal before he could. 

"We're here!" Galatea said in a singsong voice. 

"Where is here?" Arvid asked bitterly.

Razi observed the building as they pulled into the parking lot. His gaze fell on the sign, and he felt his heart skip. Arvid seemed to come to the same realization at the exact time Razi did. 

"Planetarium?" They both said it, but their tones conveyed opposite emotions. 

"Lame," Arvid hissed. 

Razi finally removed the string of his hoodie from his mouth and felt a smile take him by surprise. As Galatea parked the car, she reached for her phone which had been previously placed in the cup holder. 

"If I'm remembering correctly, they have a showing in about half an hour." Galatea grinned. "Still wanna go to the arcade, puppy?" 

Razi shrugged his shoulders. Arvid turned in his seat to look at Razi as well. 

"This seems fun," Razi mumbled.

"Of course it does." Galatea reached out to the backseat and ruffled Razi's hair playfully. "You know I have the best ideas." 

Arvid scoffed, but otherwise offered nothing to the conversation. 

"You'll have fun, too, Arvie." Galatea smirked at the death glare Arvid gave her from the use of his nickname. 

"Let's just get this over with," Arvid sighed. He unbuckled his seatbelt and grabbed the door handle to exit the car. The other two followed his lead. 

As he left the car, Razi could barely contain his excitement. For the first time that week, Razi's mind didn't feel so foggy. He noticed Galatea and Arvid watching him and felt his face burn as he walked quickly to follow them into the building. 

The entrance was a lot more crowded than the parking outside indicated. Razi moved in closer to Galatea and Arvid, trying to resist the urge to reach out and grab them. 

Galatea paused and turned her head towards the younger two. "Wait here." 

Razi nodded. Arvid only folded his arms over his chest and looked around the area. Razi decided to observe his surroundings as well, and began to memorize the area. 

A bump to his shoulder brought Razi back. He looked at the source; a stranger had run into him accidentally. He smiled politely and murmured an apology, but the stranger gave only a passing glance before continuing towards the door. 

"Why didn't you apologize? Motherfucker," Arvid growled to himself. "I hate people." 

Razi laughed nervously in response. The conversations from the strangers around him seemed to get louder until their voices all blended together into an overwhelming noise. Razi didn't realize how close he was getting to Arvid until their arms were touching. 

"Dude." Arvid took a small step backwards. "Are you alright?" 

"Mhm." Razi returned his hoodie string to his mouth and began to chew on the material. 

"You two ready?" 

Razi looked up as Galatea approached them. She seemed to notice something was off, because there was a flash of worry in her expression. 

"I…" Razi frowned, moving towards Arvid again. 

Arvid looked between Razi and Galatea. For the first time that day, he looked visibly concerned. 

"What's wrong?" Galatea asked. 

"I need to use the bathroom first," Razi announced. The sound of his own voice made him pause, his expression reflecting his shock. 

"We'll wait for you," Galatea replied. 

Razi nodded and hurriedly turned away to locate the bathrooms. He wasn't sure if he was going in the right direction, but he didn't want to be there anymore. Razi felt the tears leaving his eyes as he searched. He felt scared. He still wasn't sure where these feelings were coming from, and that scared him even more. 

It wasn't long before Razi gave up his search and made his way to the exit instead. He covered his face the best he could to ignore the strange looks he was being given. As Razi exited, he felt a gust of wind cut through his clothes and make him shiver. The tears on his face were suddenly very cold. 

He wiped his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie and moved as far away from the door as he could. He leaned himself back against the building and pushed his hands into his front pocket. 

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. It didn't seem to be helping, though, because the tightness in his chest only got worse. Before he knew it, the sob he'd been fighting off suddenly surfaced. Razi put a hand over his mouth to muffle his cries, but it didn't help much. 

"Stop," he forced out between his tears. "Stop… crying." 

A memory flooded his mind. His mother. Her smile. Her smell. The sound of her voice. He felt his body trembling as his crying worsened. 

"Razi?" 

Razi pressed his hand harder against his mouth. He couldn't breathe. The feeling of someone's hands on his shoulders finally helped him pull in the rattling breath he needed to further fuel his breakdown. 

It wasn't until Razi felt arms around him did he finally open his eyes. The blue hair in his face was unmistakable. Razi's breathing was quick and shallow, and the tears didn't stop, but he finally removed his hand from his mouth to return the hug Arvid had pulled him into. He buried his face in Arvid's shoulder, whimpering as he trembled in Arvid's arms. 

It wasn't long before he felt another set of arms around him from behind. He exhaled and melted into the hold his friends had on him. When he finally felt safe to let go, Razi stood a little straighter and lifted his burning face from the comfort of Arvid's shoulder to face the chilly air. 

Arvid and Galatea released Razi and moved backwards to give him some space. Razi could tell they had questions, but he couldn't bring himself to formulate an explanation. 

"Do you… need to talk?" Arvid asked.

Razi made a small sound to indicate that he didn't, but it resembled more of a whimper. The other two still looked concerned. 

"No," Razi whispered finally. 

"What do you need?" Galatea questioned. 

He didn't know the answer to that. He didn't know what he wanted to do, or where he wanted to be. He didn't know what to say. At that moment, Razi didn't feel like he belonged in a state of existence. 

The beginning of a headache made itself known as a small sharp pain. Razi winced and placed a hand on his forehead. 

"Is…" Arvid seemed unsure about going forward with the question he wanted to ask, but this uncertainty only lasted for a moment. "Is this about Avery?" 

Razi paused, feeling his heart sink. He lowered his arm to rest at his side before nodding, though it was barely noticeable. 

"And mom…" The words felt like ice in his mouth. "I miss them…" 

Arvid raised an eyebrow as he shot a glance towards Galatea. He wanted to ask, but Galatea shook her head at him and mouthed the word "don't." 

"Well, Avery's coming back," Arvid said. He slowly returned his gaze to Razi. "That's something to look forward to." 

Razi shrugged. 

"We're here for you until he does come back," Galatea added. "We won't make you do anything you don't want to, either. I can take you back home now."

"I wanted to… do this," Razi sighed. "I don't know what's wrong with me." 

"Nothing." Galatea smiled. "Nothing's wrong with you. Stuff just happens." 

"You both wasted your time on me and I let you down." Razi felt the tears in his eyes again. "I'm sorry." 

"You didn't." 

"I'm so sorry…" 

"Don't apologize, Razi." A pause. "Hey, look at me." 

Razi lifted his head to meet Galatea's gaze.

"I have one more idea. A backup plan, if you're up for it." 

Razi didn't respond. He slowly followed Galatea's gaze up to the sky. 

"We could go somewhere and watch the stars together. Just the three of us. You could talk, but you don't have to." Galatea paused. "Maybe that would be easier for you." 

Razi sighed softly. "But I don't want to waste your time anymore." 

"We're fine, Razi. This isn't about us," Arvid cut in. 

"Come on, puppy. Worst that could happen there is we get eaten by a bear." Galatea lowered her voice. "We'll use Arvid as bait." 

Arvid punched Galatea's shoulder and glared at her. 

Razi exhaled a laugh. "You would be good bear bait." 

Arvid groaned and turned away from the other two. 

"So? What do you say?" Galatea asked, tugging on Razi's sleeve. 

Razi nodded. 

"Hell yeah." Galatea removed her car keys from her pocket. 

"But… wait." 

Arvid and Galatea turned their attention back to Razi immediately. Razi lowered his gaze to stare at his purple sneakers as he felt his face get hot again. 

"Um… thank you." 

Arvid only nodded in response before walking back towards the car. Galatea pressed the button on her keys to unlock the doors, and smiled at Razi. 

"You know, you owe me for those tickets." 

Razi gave her a questioning look. Galatea jerked her head slightly towards the building. 

"Someday, you're coming back here with me. When you feel better. I know you're gonna love it." 

"Yeah…" 

"Yeah," Galatea responded affirmatively. "You let me know when you feel up to it." 

Razi smiled nervously. "I will." 

"You better. Now, let's go."

#jax #tez #michael #hnmp #josine #mihdia #razi #arvid #todd's ocs #hnmp gen2

[neo-culture-mafia]

그림자

last chapter

"'sup bitches." Hyuck called, walking in the front door with groceries in hand.

"Duckie, I have told you 9 separate times to not greet like that." I spun around in the swivel chair, "it's rude." I reasoned and he took his sunglasses off his face, holding them in the same hand as his motorcycle keys. "Whoops?...I guess." He chuckled, strutting over to where I sat at the living room desk.

I turned back around to look at the paperwork spanning across the wood surface. "What's this, sunflower?" He asked grabbing the first paper he could grab. He flicked his brown curls from his vision to have a good look at what was taking place in black ink.

"Money flipping?" He asked me, with a cocked eyebrow and an unamused look. "Yep. Just for a little while," I winked and snatched the paper back. I sighed, setting it back down on the desk, "just until we have enough for an apartment in the city."

He groaned and walked down the hall to the kitchen. "We have everything we need here." He called as I knew he was emptying the contents of the grocery bags into the respectful places they belonged.

I leaned my arm on the desk, laying my head in my hand and staring at the Polaroids above the desk. Some were of us: me, Mark and Hyuck, and some of the rest of the boys...now just a distant memory is what they felt like.

483 days...483 days since we last saw each other. On that damn night. That dreadful night that me and Mark were turned away and shunned like we were dogs.

Then we traveled back to Seoul to find Duckie. After he was missing for 3 weeks, I ran into him by chance in an alley. We actually had gotten in a first fight till his hood fell back and I was met with the melanin enriched skin that made my eyes weep.

I told him to leave, go back, that he was welcomed there. But, he didn't want to leave me or Mark. We lived in the shit shack eating nothing but crackers and water for a couple months, sometimes we opted for sleep as our daily meal.

Until Mark came home with money. He had gotten that damn tunnel door open by the grace of a higher-being: filled with cash to the brim.

Us 3 bought a 2 bedroom farm house in the somewhat country where we were best friends with our retired neighbors; their thoughts and whispers of us being in a 3-way relationship being the talk of the small farming town. We didn't care. We knew what we were doing here and what we needed to do in the future.

"Oh honey. I'm home." Donghyuck called through the house and a door opened to a wet Mark who was towel drying his hair in nothing but sweatpants. "Did you get me the stuff?" He asked all serious, and I looked down the dim hallway to see Mark's blonde hair being tossled by his towel.

Hyuck gave him a flat face, a hand on his hip and another holding him up on the counter. "Yes, Mark. I got you your 'stuff'." He rolled his eyes, going away and returning with a big ass watermelon.

"Yesss," Mark took it and automatically held it to his ear, knocking on it like it was a heavy wood door. "you picked a good one." Mark looked lovingly at the fruit in his arms as if it was a child.

I laughed as I looked at my wacky friend. "Why can't you be obsessed with something usual. Like beer, or poker."

The curly headed boy asked as he walked back down the hall towards me. Taking his thick jacket off and throwing it over the arm of the couch; sitting down he unlaced and unzipped his boots, throwing them by the door.

You watched the conversation play out like a terrible teen-sitcom. "Cause I'd rather die by watermelon overdose than alcohol intoxication-" Mark was cut off as he walked slowly to the front room where Hyuck and I sat. "Yeah yeah yeah. Too many big words for this early in the morning." Hyuck put his arm over his eyes and laid back.

Mark looked at me and we both looked at the clock. "Sweetie, its 3 in the afternoon." I giggled and he whined. "It's so early." He said and stood up.

"I'm getting changed and I'm gonna chill." He said looking at Mark who still clutched his watermelon to his bare chest, damp towel thrown over his shoulder.

"And?" Mark asked. "Why do I care?" He asked and the younger boy just shrugged. "Also...your night for dinner." Mark reminded him and Hyuck whined louder, running down the hall and smacking into our bedroom door.

"Donghyuck!" I jumped up, wanting to check if he was okay. He just kept on whining as he opened our door and went in, closing it.

You could still hear his shrieks as he was probably running around getting changed into comfier clothes.

"Then there were two." Mark sighed as he set his watermelon on the kitchen window, and plopping onto the long couch on the opposite side of the living room.

"I need to redo your hair soon." I said getting up and laying on the ground next to his couch. "I might let it grow up to a ponytail." I sat up quickly. "Uh. No you're not." My voice was harsh and he laughed.

"Girl you need to chill. I was joking." He chuckled, stretching and yawning.

Something that Jaemin used to say to me atleast once an hour. My smile faltered and I became more solemn.

"Do you miss them?" I asked and he just stared at me for a moment. "Who?" Was all he said and I knew that he knew exactly who he was talking about but it still hurt a little bit.

"Your boys." I said and a faint smile was broadcasted over his facial features as he stared into what seemed like distant space but was really just the dark TV.

"Of course." He exasperated and he looked back at my face who was just searching for reassurance that this path was the right one to take.

"But I am so thankful for the two of you, right here, right now." He smiled and my heart was put at ease.

"Alright I'm back. I sensed you guys missed me so I returned. Just for you guys!" Hyuck said as he sat down next to me and leaned back on his arms for support. "Oh yeah. 'Cause we were literally dying without your presence." I said sarcastically and he shrugged.

"Exactly. That's what I just said." He said as serious as possible and me and Mark laughed. "Oh you think you're so funny." Donghyuck said picking me up and pulling me on his lap, his hands reaching for my sides and tickling.

My shrieks and laughs radiated through the house as Mark watched on in admiration. He felt blessed that he made it this far. He also never failed to tell us atleast once a week. We were all each other's life and support systems.

Once hyuck stopped his evil act, I just laid there across his lap trying to resteady my breath.

"What's for dinner?" I looked up at him and he shrugged. "I haven't really looked to be completely honest." He said yawning.

"Well let's go see and then we can make it, eat, clean, and then chill for a while." I said getting up and putting my hand out for him to take.

He groaned but obliged at my request.

He was in some shorts and a basic hoodie. The scarring on his legs reminding us all of a dark period. A painful time that sometimes still follows us.

I have a scar on my back from that night. I don't remember anything of the tunnels but the burning pain in my calves, wanting to stop sprinting through the dark and lonely concrete jungle.

Him and I stood infront of the cupboards in silence.

I suddenly felt so tired and out of it. Like a heavy weight was on my chest and it wouldn't budge.

"Oooo. Spaghetti." He said stretching and reaching the noodles and sauce on the top shelf. I shrugged as he looked at me for my reaction to his suggestion.

"You okay?" He asked and I could only shrug and try to give a convincing smile.

"Yeah. Just thinking about stuff." I shrugged once more and he understood.

"Can you help me with dinner?" He asked and of course I agreed, wanting to get my mind off the looming darkness in the corners of the house.

"Alright. We need 2 pots and then you can figure out some sides we can have with it." He said and I was already grabbing the 2 pots.

I set them on the stove top and he began doing his own thing. I rummaged through the cabinets and fridge before feasting my eyes on what seemed like the perfect pairing.

"Salad?"

~~~~~~~~~

Trying to sleep that night was rough. It was just tough and not even the usual cuddly nature of the sleeping Hyuck next to me could lull me into dream land.

The dark feeling still followed me through dinner and to bed.

I tried staring at the wall but even then the small cracks started freaking me out. I turned towards Hyuck who's curly dark hair framed his face perfectly.

Don't get us wrong. We're not a thing. We're just close. Once we found each other again he has stuck to my side in hopes of fulfilling what he thought he didn't in the first place- protection.

I don't mind. We've always been close and now we've just gotten closer. Was sharing a bedroom in our plans?...no...but we didn't want to put up with Mark and his farting so he was blessed with having his own room.

We're just making do with what we have.

My finger lightly traced shapes on his arm tattoos, trying to pass time and get myself to sleep.

I groaned and his eyes opened. "What's wrong?" He asked looking at the alarm clock on the bedside table.

3:29 AM

He turned back to make sure I was okay. He sat up on his arm and just looked at me for a moment. "Are you hurt?" Was all he asked and I shook my head no. I wouldn't know how to explain the hurt I was feeling anyway.

"I just need water." I said getting up and crawling to the end of the bed. "Be back in 5 minutes please." He said grabbing his phone. I mumbled my recognition and opened our door.

I strided down the hall and grabbed a water bottle. I walked into the hall where the corridor meets living room. Hyuck's phone lit one end of the hall in our bedroom while the other was illuminated by the moon light.

1 sip.

I breathed and looked out the front window at the old couples house across from ours.

2 sips.

I can hear my heart beat as I try to drown it out with gulps of water.

3 sips.

I have a sudden urge to sprint up and down our street to try and rid the shakiness of my body.

4 sips.

I'm not even cold but my anxiety makes my bones sound like wooden spoons and my body go cold with shivers.

And that's when I see it.

The shadow.

It moved on the front porch.

"I'm going crazy." I spoke in a monotone.

"What?" I heard Hyuck call out, now sitting up in the bed.

The shadow came closer to the door, an arm raised, as if it was going to bash in the glass.

"That's not real." I said louder, my water bottle now dropped from my cold hand.

I heard a thud and a swear along with an opening door.

"Mark. Up, now." And a pair of feet come closer down the dark hallway.

The shadow just seemed frozen now as Hyuck stood right by me.

"What is that?" He muttered and Mark now was coming closer, trying to see tiredly through his glasses.

The arm went back and forth a couple of times. "Hyuck go get your gun." Mark said lowly but I wanted to fight this thing head on.

I walked straight to the door before any of their hands could grab me. I threw the door open as my heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest.

I was met with bleached blonde hair, a blood splattered face, a cold stare, and a muscly build that held ink and a face of an old someone I used to know.

"Jeno?" I choked out, wanting to vomit as my body went numb from shock. This wasn't real. I was dreaming. This wasn't happening.

I held my hands out towards his face, moving ever so slowly until his own hands held my own.

The boys behind me became silent as I knew one of them held a gun, still on edge for this too good to be true situation.

I threw myself at him and just held onto his muscular frame. His arms held me tight in a grip that I used to miss.

The metallic smell on him made my nose scrunch up in disgust but I was just too wrapped into the moment to care.

My body was yanked back forcefully and I was thrown back into the living room at the feet of a shell shocked Mark who could nothing but stare forward.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I thought Donghyuck was losing it as he cocked his gun and held it at the face of his once brother.

"Duckie what are you doing?" I asked getting up and grabbing at his arm.

Jeno just did nothing but stare down the metal barrel in front of his face, his hands being raised next to his head.

"I did a sweep of the surrounding place and it's sketc-" another body came walking up our porch.

The tall boy still seemed lanky but had glasses this time. His hair was now a lighter brown and it seemed like he had grown another 4 inches in the span of a year.

"Jisung?" I muttered and he was still met another gun barrel.

This time from Mark who had shoved me back again.

"Please don't shoot." Jisung pleaded, scared setting into his features.

"We need help. Please." Jisung begged but Jeno still held his stare with Hyuck.

"Everyone is gone." Jisung pleaded.

"Please." He whispered, his eyes were threatening to spill.

#nct #nct mafia au #nct 127 #nct mafia #nct mark #nct haechan #nct taeyong #nct winwin #kpop mafia au #mafia au #nct johnny #nct taeil #nct yuta #nct blurbs #nct au #nct angst #nct u #nct huang renjun #nct hyuck #na jaemin #nana #nct dream mafia #nct dream jisung #nct dream jeno #nct dream #nct jisung #jisung #jeno angst #nct jeno