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stsgooo · 3 months

Note

moonlit goddess.... maybe jinshi is wondering why his dear maid continues to pull away from him... and maybe gao shun lets it slip that "they shouldn't have been close that day anyway".... and jinshi pesters him until he folds n explains.... IDK I JUST WANT A HAPPY ENDING FOR THOSE TWO :((((( (not forced ofc!! i jus love ur writing!)

Bridge the Gap.

✩࿐ summary: life and death really makes a girl wonder.

warning(s): idiots in love, chapters 61-65 manga spoilers, master/servant like relationship, description of near drowning, suggestive content, ambiguous ending. wc; 9.3k

pairing(s): jinshi/fem!reader.

a/n: tysm for reading my fics means the world to hear ppl actually enjoy them, anon!!! ;') i wasn't really going to make a 2nd part of moonlight goddess as i thought it was okay to leave off there, but i love jinshi sooo i'll take any excuse to write him. this was initially going to be a part 2 of clumsiness, but i figured my plans worked better with what you were envisioning! im not entirely sure how to feel about this, but i hope this lives up to the standards! i apologize for any mistakes, this was written mostly in the early mornings when i had time!

part i. m.list

"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"

"Y/N, please, stop asking me that."

"Oh, yes. My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry."

This were, admittedly, not going well. Both of you soaked, hair dripping, and standing in the cave behind a rapid waterfall, and a dull ache in your chest as you recovered. Partly your fault, partly the fault of some crazed marksman that was hiding in the forest, trying to slaughter Jinshi and, by proxy, you.

To understand how you two ended up in this situation, we would have to back up a bit.

"Oh? Y/N, I didn't know you'd be attending this as well?"

"It was a last minute switch with Suiren and I."

"You... enjoy these hunts?"

"I've done everything I could to avoid them in the years past."

Your lack of excitement was apparent and clear. It appeared to bring no ease of mind to Maomao who dragged her rather disgusted eyes from you towards Gaoshun. The older man just kept his attention on the moving scenery outside, a distant glaze over his eyes.

Maomao obviously wasn't optimistic. Just like you. You were almost proud that she had caught on so easily.

The sweltering heat outside seemed to seep into the carriage, cooking you alive in your rather formal wear. Something that you were spotted in far and few, having been years that you truly cleaned yourself prim and proper. You had been on the edge of declining even going when Jinshi, with a grin and a certain glitter in his eyes, had too happily informed you that it was a direct invitation from Shishou.

Your fate had been sealed.

Maomao peeked at you from the corner of her eye, head tilted, "Do you mind me asking why you avoided these events?"

You don't even spare her a glance, "I fear if I spoke my honest opinion, I'd stain Jinshi-sama's reputable name with my foul mouth." You reply flatly in return.

"Please don't." Gaoshun said softly from his seat, looking particularly tired.

You decided to ignore the slump of Maomao's shoulders as if disappointed by the swift interruption and decline on Gaoshun's part. Turning your eyes towards the shifting world outside.

It'd been exactly five months since Jinshi had danced under the moon and you came to the conclusion that any impure thoughts you held for your master would be safely tucked away in the back of your mind (and heart). Forever your secret. Only to be heard in your dreams and upon your death, when you repent for any ill thoughts to the Great Man above.

Everything had returned to its normal routine. You would get up in the morning, prepare breakfast alongside Suiren, eat, then proceed with any chores the woman gave you for the rest of the day, then repeat. Equally, your relationship (or lack thereof) with Jinshi had remained the same. Conversations filled with pleasantries. Simple things that had always lingered between the two of you since you were children. Pleasant and simple. As the world shall ever be.

It got a bit ruffled with Jinshi had cornered you and practically ordered that you come to the hunt instead of Suiren.

In the middle of scrubbing away at the floors, he had found you. Stood above you with that grin, “Y/N, you’re one of my most loyal servants, hm?” He’d begun with an inflection in his tone that made you horribly hesitant.

You had faltered in your scrubbing to stare up at him with confusion, “Uh…well, I suppose, Jinshi-sam’s.”

“Why don’t you join me for the Hunt this up coming week?”

Your had heart dropped. And, by the look Gaoshun had dawned, his had too. The Hunt, in your humble opinion, was a glorified weekend for the men in high positions to rub one off while killing animals. It wasn’t something you found interesting in or much grace. That’s why you had declined Suiren’s question on whether or not you’d like to take her place only three days prior. You had no interest in watching anyone, even Jinshi, size each other up while a defenseless animal bled.

“Jinshi-sama, I believe Suiren—“

Ever the gentleman, he had cut you off, “No worries, Suiren agreed to take over matters while you’re gone! She’s the sweetest, right?” He had appeared all to eager and all too himself for you to ignore.

So, with a heavy heart, you’d sighed, accepting defeat and his invitation.

Now, you would find your torture for a multiple day retreat with a bunch of men with their c—

The carriage came to an abrupt halt, bringing an unruly end to your thoughts as you all carefully exited and were greeted by the sunshine. The humid air heavy with the condensation of the area and already making a sweat appear on your brow. But, ever the lady, you pleasantly tuck your hands into your sleeves and follow behind Gaoshun and Basen.

You were a little surprised as Maomao stuck closely to your side; but not all too surprised to find her attention on your surroundings, vague surprise in her eyes. The area was as equally as beautiful as it was a burden to you.

The buildings weren't anything for you to revel at. Spending an entire lifetime within palaces and in buildings as equally or above standard to those, it just wasn't anything special. The nature surrounding the area, however, was something to stare in awe at. Lucious trees, beautiful grass, and beautiful array of plants and flowers. It almost made you regret all the time you had spent away from this place.

But it wasn't like you had the chance to truly return since the last time you were here. Nothing could bring back that little girl.

You deterred your thoughts away as Gaoshun slid the door open. Immediately, you were hit with a wave of heat that you made you tense up. It was apparent that you wouldn't find your much needed cool down you were desperate to find since you were confined in the carriage days prior.

You were the last to enter and when you did, you faltered at the sight before you.

Jinshi was sprawled across the couch, wisps of his dark hair framed his sweat glistened face, eyes closed in contempt. A small dent appeared between his eyebrows and a frown adorned his face. However, your attention was caught on a drop of sweat that made its way from his hairline, down his cheek, his jaw, his long slender neck, and past his— his collar.

His modesty was of no worry, apparently, as he laid with his robes parted open to reveal his chest. Itself was glistening with sweat. Delicate skin on showcase for all to see. It brought a soft blush to your cheeks, as you blatantly ogled him. Pressing your lips together to contain whatever thoughts you had about him from burst from your seams.

"Y/N," Jinshi's voice hit your ears, tender and smooth. You're suddenly hyperaware that he's staring at you with raised brows, lids peeked open to stare at you.

You straighten your back and offer a bow, "Jinshi-sama. Do you require anything?" You had to get it together. It was inappropriate to behave in such a scandalous way. "Request for ice? Tea?"

Jinshi shook his head, sitting up, "No, rather I'd like for you to rest after such a long journey."

You falter, your arms wavering from their position in front of your face, "Uh.... Wouldn't the room be more tolerable with some ice?" You spare a glance around the room and grimace. The windows are shut tight, only bits of sun peeking through the cracks. Basen looks rather miserable, but trying to appear his usual stern self. While Gaoshun and Maomao seem rather okay with showcasing their small discontent with the heat. A nice cube would help at least cool down a bit.

You also couldn't stand another second seeing Jinshi like that. As if he were some type of nymph testing your faith.

"Really, it's fine—" Jinshi attempted, but you were already turning on your heel.

"I will return with ice." You didn't miss the way Jinshi's face fell and his eyes cut to Gaoshun who shook his head in return.

Your fast paced adventure led you to the main hall, where people were moving in and out. Various officers and servants filled the area, finding their rooms or helping their masters and fellow officers to their own rooms. Everyone appeared to be feeling the heat as they wiped their brows. Much like you, they appeared to be attempting to defeat the heat.

You found your way towards an attendant who helped you get something situated for Kousen. Something that brought you both distaste and irritation. Something to be addressed at a later time.

Joy filled you as you turned around, ice would soon be in the room and you could crowd around it like it was a new lover.

As you were about to make your way back to the room, you ran into someone.

You were about to apologize when they whirled around and you let out an audibly sigh that conveyed your unwavering exhaustion for them.

"Hey, watch where— Oh, hey, " Lihaku blinked, kind face twisted up in vague recognition. “You’re that lady-in-waiting. What are you doing out here?”

“I’m on loan from Jinshi-sama,” you answered rather flatly, not missing the small frown accompanying the man’s face.

You were vaguely familiar with Lihaku. What with Maomao getting involved in the problems within the inner and rear palace, you were bound to make new acquaintances when she was dragging you around. Lihaku was the first one you had ran into. On orders to accompany the girl from Suiren, you had gotten to see her investigative skills firsthand. You were impressed, surely, when she had made the discovery about the potatoes. But the impression was overshadowed by Lihaku, who had spent the entire time chatting your ear off.

He was kind, handsome, and smart when it called for it. But you could tell that, like most officers, he had an airheaded vibe to him. One that deterred you from making things too complicated with him.

Friendly enough, and one of the few people that didn't seem to disinterest Maomao, you accepted his very vague and shadowed feature in your life.

"Well, that's nice of him." He said, clearly disinterested in where this conversation was going. "I'm glad to see a friendly face, though."

You offered a small smile, "As am I. Not many kind faces around here often."

"You can say that again." You hear a loud inhuman snort and a tug on your gown, taking a large step back, you look down. A large dog with drool leaking out from the sides of its mouth stared back at you. "Oh, hey, boy, no!"

"O-Oh my." You uttered, slightly breathless as you looked at the large beast.

Lihaku glanced at you, offering a withering smile, "Eh, sorry, he gets excited around new people— not a great trait in a dog like this, you would think, but he's a real gem. Just has his moments. Hey, now—"

Lihaku pulled out something metal and brought it to his lips, then blew. It emitted little to no sound, at least, any you could truly hear, making your perk up when the dog tilted his head and sat respectfully before the officer. He blew again and the dog laid. Again, and the dog stood on all fours.

You smiled softly, watching in wonder as it obeyed whatever silent orders it was getting from Lihaku.

"He's very smart." You observed as the dog sat down again.

"Right?" Lihaku beamed, "I can get him to come running from kilometers away if need be."

"Useful when you're in a bind."

"For sure!" Lihaku's demeanor reminded you of a proud father as he puffed his chest and looked distastefully towards the cages lined up outside. "He's real smart, yet they still want to use those birds in the end."

You didn't want to point out the various problems that could come with using a dog; as there were probably another list of various pros to actually use the dog. The hawks had been used for years and you doubt that some dogs would be taking their place any time soon. It'd probably be a long time before these arrogant men came to their senses and found better means. Despite dogs being loyal and determined to their cause, the hawk would always be chosen.

Or, the better alternative, they didn't do this hunt anymore.

But you knew that was a longshot.

It wasn't long after that you bid Lihaku a farewell and good luck on his duties, making your way back to the room. You exchanged pleasant smiles and greetings with familiar faces, but nothing that kept you from relaxing much longer.

When you returned to the room, everyone had found their own areas and activities to occupy themselves. Gaoshun and Basen were playing Go near the windows, Maomao was reclining on the floor where a sliver or air was flowing through (from where, you weren't completely sure). Jinshi was back to sitting on the couch, a book in his hands. Something that was quickly disregarded as you gently closed the door behind you.

"The ice should be up soon." You informed the room with a respectful bow.

Jinshi didn't look at all interested, "What took you so long?" It sounded like contempt. Irritation if you had to really dig. Something that made you falter.

You look up and see the pout on his lips— childish, as always. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jinshi-sama. I happened to run into a friend and got caught up in conversation." You apologized softly. The last thing you wanted to do was bring him more annoyance and disturbance.

He straightened considerably, "A friend?"

You didn't like the way it was spoken. A touch of disbelief was enough for you to eye him with your own distaste. Even if you and Lihaku were nothing more than strangers with vague familiarity with one another.

"Yes, a friend." You confirmed with thin lips. Despite your inner voice telling you to reign in your attitude, you upturn your nose and decide to join Maomao— whose eyes were shooting between the both of you with trepidation and vague sympathy. "He was being kind."

Jinshi huffed, "I didn't know you had any secret friends."

"Not a secret. Just don't find any time to speak about it with you, Jinshi-sama."

That made the man falter, a darkened shadow over his face. "I suppose." He frowned heavily now, squinting at you with something unreadable. "Who is this friend of yours?"

You, finding no reason to lie, continued on, "Officer Lihaku."

In an instant, three heads snapped to you with varying degrees of emotions. Maomao looked shocked, but welcomed the information with a shrug. Gaoshun looked pale and overwrought, for whatever reason you weren't entirely sure, but you had an itching feeling it had to do with Jinshi.

The same Jinshi that was now face down on the couch, letting out a miserable sound. Speaking into the fabric of it all, unintelligiable. But you swore you heard something along the lines of— "that second rate, again?!" As he continued to rant and cry.

With that, you decided it best to not involve yourself with whatever Jinshi was battling. You wouldn't win anyway.

You'd always hated Kousen-sama.

He almost always seemed to loom in the shadows. An masked man who held no personality or words of his own. Pleasantries offered out of necessity and not because that was simply the right thing to do. He was mysterious. He hardly appeared, but he was always there. A reminder for what things would return to one odd day. A symbol for exactly where your loyalties and master lied.

Kousen-sama was to always appear before others with his mask on. To avoid them seeing the ghastly sight of scars and blemishes that adorned his skin because of his sickness (whatever that may be) and spare him the indecency of stares. He was unmoving. Stone amongst he lively environment that ate away at their lunches and softly conversed with one another.

Prince. The respectable Kousen-sama. The great son of the empire. The brave prince against all odds.

Oh, how much you hate Kousen-sama.

But you still had woken up early to help him pin his hair back. To slip his robes on. To delicately place the mask on, fingering the bangs out through the slits to allow some type of familiarity. You were his confidant. His reliable and kind servant.

As always, you and Basen stood behind Kousen-sama with your backs straight and eyes ahead. A pleasant servant on loan and stern guard, you both were familiar faces against the unrecognizable figure in front of you. It reminded the people exactly who was before them. Exactly who had decided to grace their presence.

Still, it brought you discomfort.

You still eyed Gaoshun in the corner of you eye. The older man sat at the other end of the table. Maomao standing behind him with a distant look in her eyes, obviously not paying attention to the things happening around her. Not entirely surprising, but you felt the overwhelming urge to scold her for her lack in etiquette.

Oh, you're starting to think like Suiren, aren't you?

Suddenly, Basen is tensing up beside you and Kousen-sama is turning his head away from a scowling Shishou. Your eyes snap between the two with a scowl of your own. Whatever that man had said—

Kousen-sama's hand clenches. So tightly that his knuckles turn white and he shakes. You know something isn't right. You had missed something. Something so obvious and you were too concerned about Gaoshun.

The man stands from his chair, the legs loudly clattering against the tiled and stone floor. You watch uneasily as Kousen-sama raises, takes a moment to collect himself, then practically speeds away from the room. You don't waste a moment to bring your sleeve covered hands to your mouth and make your own exit.

As you pass a concerned Maomao and Gaoshun, you hear a barely uttered whisper from the girl— heat. Food.

You try to hide your confusion and worry as you follow behind your master.

It doesn't take you long to find him.

Down the path, up against a tree, the masked figure was hunched and obviously breathing heavily. You draw closer, outstretching a hand to gently press it against the large expanse of his back.

"Kousen-sama, are you quite alright?" You ask softly, hunching slightly to capture a glimpse of his eyes from that slit in the fabric.

When you do, you're almost breathless. His violet eyes are alight with something distant and scornful. Eyebrows furrowed as he meets your own gaze.

"Y/N...?" He sounded vaguely surprised under it all, breathless himself. As if he couldn't quite believe that you were here in front of him.

You nod once, reaching out and grabbing ahold of one of the ties keeping the mask all together. "I'm going to remove this. No one is around."

His hand is suddenly wrapped around your wrist. Not tight or unrelenting, but enough to make you freeze. Warm and clammy skin against your own to make you feel scorched. You don't need to see his entire face to know that his jaw was clenched now.

"I can't," he said in all his self-assuredness, "Someone might still come."

What a pain. You thought to yourself as you draw in a heavy breath.

You don't waste a second to slip under his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders and allowing him to lean most of his weight against you. "No worries, sir, I'll just find us some place where no one else is around."

You gently guide Kousen-sama from the line of trees and deep within it. Finding an oddly familiar path created within your mind to follow that takes you towards an overflowing waterfall. A loud crash of water hitting the rocks and body of water below that brought you a distant sense of comfort. The refreshing smell of the water hits your nostrils and you take a deep breath.

With Kousen-sama against you, you felt the sweltering heat hit you tenfold. But the mist from the waterfall brushed against your skin like a gently caress from an old lover.

This is it.

You stumble over to one of the few trees next to the waterfall and gently guide Kousen-sama to sit up against it. The man took a heavy breath and you finally felt a little at ease. Reaching forward, you moved to take the cloth off once again and then—

A loud thud and chunks of dirt hit your cheek.

You frowned, looking to the ground only a could feet away and saw a small crater. A sharp smell filled your senses and you stiffened. It was an unkind and almost putrid scent. The smoke from the small crater was the main cause.

"Eh—?"

You were suddenly cut off as Kousen-sama wrapped his arms around you, jerking you upwards and away from the tree. You would've basked in the way his body was pressed against your back or the way his fingers seemed to mold into your abdomen— you would've if it weren't for the loud crack in the air then the pieces of bark that flew through the air around you.

The tree that he had been pressed up against only moments ago was now split open with a piece of metal imbedded into the wood. It looked eerily similar to the same that had been in the ground moments ago.

"Is that a feifa?!" His voice pierced through your thoughts, oddly frantic and uneasy as he moved quickly from the tree and towards the river.

You glanced up at him and found him already staring down at you. Eyes narrowed and, if it weren't for the mask, his entire face would be scrunched up in that familiar distaste and panic. Yet he seemed eerily calm as he dragged you through the trees and into the water.

"Sorry, but this is gonna get a bit dramatic." His voice was soft against your head, warm breath caressing your hair as he wraps a protective arm around your head.

Your eyebrows raise, "Dramatic— WHAT?" You should've known his tone and choice of his words were a warning for what was to come, but you were still caught off guard.

He gave no indication that he was going to jump off the cliff.

"Jinshi, you goddamn idiot!"

You mustn't get ideas above your station.

The water was oddly clear. Even with the mix of the overflowing waterfall, under it all was peaceful and calm. Fishes and water like insects lived in harmony.

Cool and calm. Always.

You are there to serve your master.

The little boy's head burst from the water with a big grin, short hair flat against his head and dripping. The sun reflecting off his violet eyes and almost blinded the little girl curled up on the side shore. Her face set into a scowl, clothes drenched, and a looming unimpressed older man behind her.

"It's so nice out, why don't you come in!" Beckoned the boy from the water.

The little girl shot him a nasty look, "You know why, you jerk!"

The boy's grin faltered, tilting his head at his friend, "Eh? Why are you being mean?" His voice wavered on the ends, still just floating in the middle of the basin.

"I'm not mean! You're mean! You're the biggest meanie!" The little girl stood up to throw an accusatory finger at the boy, her sleeve heavy and uncomfortable as she moved.

The boy's face reddened, eyebrows scrunched together, "I'm not mean! You're mean!" He repeated.

"No, you are! You're the biggest meanie in the whole wide world!"

"No, you are!"

"You are! You pushed me into the water!"

"You are! You should swim!"

"I hope you drown, meanie!"

The boy's expression fell completely. A heartbroken glint in his eyes flooding them. His lips trembled. But, before he could do something like cry, he was already swimming deeper

Nothing less, nothing more.

"Now, now," a large hand rested on the little girl's shoulder and gently tugged her back, turning her around to face the man. He seemed to be trying to appear as tender as he could to try calm down the girl's high nerves. "No need to get angry."

"But, Gaoshun—" The little girl whined.

Gaoshun shook his head, patting her shoulder, "No, we don't argue. Try to forgive and forget, yeah?" He reminded the lessons that he'd attempted multiple times to teach the two children. "No reason to walk around with resentment for others, right?"

The little girl scoffed her shoe against the ground, a pout on her lips, "Do I have to, Gaoshun?" She knew what this would call for. Exactly how this would end for her.

The man heaved a sigh, nodding, "Yes, you do. Now, go reconcile. I'll wait here."

The girl faltered as the man raised to his full height, cupping his hands behind his back. She dragged her feet through the soft soil and found her way towards the boy once more. He was grasping onto the edge of the bank, sniffling and snorting. His shoulders shook and his face was stuffed into his arms.

The little girl frowned. "Um... Are you okay?"

The boy stiffened, not turning around as he answered, "No."

"I'm sorry, I said something real mean." The little girl uttered, stepping closer as she clutched her wet clothes. "I just... You pushed me into the water, I can't..."

"I thought you were my friend!" The little boy whirled around on her, face red and eyes filled with big tears. He looked enraged but incredibly disheartened. The girl blinks in return as the boy glares. "You say such mean things to me. Friends aren't supposed to be mean!"

The girl clenched her jaw, "You were mean to me first!" She accused.

The boy sniffled, wiping under his nose with his forearm. "You're my friend." He repeated as if that cleared up any anger.

Nothing more, nothing less.

The little girl slowly sat beside him, her feet dipping under the water. "It is nice." She whispered.

The little boy dragged his eyes upwards, looking hurt but hopeful. "Right?" he asked, equally as quiet.

"You're my friend too, Jinshi." The little girl nudge him with her leg.

Jinshi's eyes twinkled, wide and all too bright, "Really?"

"Really." The little girl confirmed with a toothless grin. "My friend forever and ever!"

Jinshi positively beamed, the water sloshing as he jumped happily. "Forever and ever, and ever!"

"And ever!"

"It's no longer... appropriate for you and Jinshi-sama to be friends."

"I don't... I don't understand. He's my friend."

"His mother no longer finds it appropriate for you to concern yourself with Jinshi."

"But, Gaoshun—"

"No, Y/N. It's over. Come along. Suiren has a present for you."

"He's.... He's my friend...."

"I'm so sorry."

You are to give your life to your master.

The woman paused, back pin straight, as she entered her master's office, finding him curled up in the corner, muttering nonsensically to himself. The guard of said master was watching on with a pitiful expression of his own, only breaking his eyes away when the woman entered the room. His expression only seemed to deepen.

She didn't need to ask. There was an unspoken understanding as to what their master's breakdown was regarding. The Apothecary. The one that had gotten the attention of everyone in the palace as of late. The one that had been causing her great grief as of late— and was about to create more.

"Jinshi-sama?" The woman called softly, stepping closer.

Jinshi's lifeless eyes continued to stare at the floor below him. A gentle rocking seeming to soothe himself from the rages of his mind. "I don't need anything, Y/N. Thank you, kindly." He uttered just as lifelessly.

The devoted servant's chest clenched. Her face flushed as she reached out a wavering hand. To place it delicately against his hunched back. To offer her best comforting words that she could. To distract him away from her.

Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

She faltered. This wasn't her place. This wasn't a part of her duties unless Jinshi said so. Inappropriate behavior wasn't called for. It will be punished severly.

Retracting her hand, she stands, and offers a respectful bow. "Please call me if you need anything, Jinshi-sama." And left him in his dark corner.

"Gaoshun, may I ask you something?"

"Of course, Jinshi-sama."

"You have been in my life for as long as I can remember. You remember more than I possibly could about my younger years. Whatever happened to cause me and Y/N to fall apart?"

"...."

"It had to be around the time I was eight that I noticed we were growing apart. Even now, I see it so clearly."

"It's been a long time, Jinshi-sama. You're no longer children."

"All the more reason to know, isn't it?"

"I don't know...."

"Gaoshun, nothing will come of it. I'm simply curious."

"..."

"I'm sorry to put you in this position. Please return to what you were doing."

"Jinshi-sama.... you might not like the truth..."

"I usually don't."

"Where to begin.... Before her eighth birthday—"

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"H....E—"

Everything felt so muffled. Faraway. Featherlight.

Was that a pressure against your chest? A thump that came into quick successions, then stopped. For something soft and ever so delicate to press against your lips?

Everything was distant. So far away from your grasp. From your state of being. As if you were already long gone from whatever reality you were in moments ago.

"H—"

It was almost like floating. A gentle sway and a crack.

A joyful gliding against the sky that soothed you away from worries and woes.

Thump. Thump. Lips.

Repeating endlessly. Happily. Wetly?

Thump. Thump. Lips.

You welcomed it. Whatever it was. Whatever kept the rhythm. The wonderful rhythm.

Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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Thump. Thump. Lips.

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THUMP. THUM—

You shot up with a cough.

Your throat burned and head ached terribly. Your eyes almost felt like they were about to pop out of your head and roll away. You felt horrible.

It didn't help that you were drenched from head to toe either.

Beside you, there was a heavy and loud sigh of relief as he fell to his backside. He let a silence fall over you both as you recovered, hand pressed against your throat and heaving.

Jesus. Had you almost...

The thought alone almost made you sick.

"I'm sorry. I thought.... I didn't think you still couldn't swim." His voice was soft, barely heard over the waterfall. Kind and cautious, worried and terrified. Things that seeped from his tone as if it were bleeding out and bearing all its insides to you.

Exposing him to you.

You peeked over your loose strands of hair to glare viciously at him. "When would I have the time to learn to swim?" You shot back ruthlessly, not entirely caring from etiquette in this moment. "You've lost your mind."

"Right." Jinshi immediately agreed, almost looking fearful as he watched you.

You push yourself up and take in a deep breath, coughing slightly at the burn of your throat. Taking in your surroundings, you swore that this was that—

"Are you really alright?"

You glanced back at the man and found him still sat on the damp ground. His eyebrows are furrowed and a small frown on his lips as he stared up at you. It made you uncomfortable. To see such a glittering violet staring back at you earnestly. Honestly.

You instead clutch onto your dress, "Suiren is gonna kill me." You scoff, tugging the garments apart.

You could hear Jinshi sputter behind you. The gravel and dirt below him crunching as he probably scrambled up from his spot.

You spared a feeble look over your shoulder to find him with his eyes clenched slowed, hand covering your body from his gaze. You snap your gaze back around and tug the fabric a little too hard as you scoff.

You wouldn't deny the pang of hurt that clenched your chest.

"Don't worry, Jinshi-sama, you won't have to see my unruly body of mine for long. I just want to make sure Suiren doesn't slaughter me when we return."

"I— No, I'm just— okay." He finally muttered.

You are stripped down to your underthings, placing the dress and various pieces on the ground as delicately as you can to avoid too much dirt being stained into the fabric.

As you place the last bit of clothing down, you hear the flutter of fabric behind you.

Jinshi is a bright red, gently tossing his robe down behind him. His back is facing you and you know its for whatever mock sense of modesty he wants to give the both of you. You instinctively reach out and take his robe in your grasp, twisting it and squeezing it to watch out a fair amount of water drip out.

"You worry about mine later. Take care of your things first."

Yeah, right, You think as you twist it with an unrelenting grip. You are there to serve your master. It's one of the first things you learn. His needs came before your own. His needs were your needs.

Jinshi snatched the robe away and squeezed the fabric tight, an overflowing amount of water released from the cloth and into the ground.

Okay, so maybe he was better at it than you.

You nod, turning your attention towards your own garments and try to ignore the overwhelming feeling that you had eyes on your rear.

"So, um—" Jinshi cleared his throat when his eyes dragged away from you, cheeks a bright red. "What now?"

"Well, we could attempt at trying to swim back—"

"You can't swim."

"I was going to say that."

"Oh, sorry."

There's a soft silence between the both of you as you finish up. Gently redressing, you make your way towards the entrance of the cave, where the waterfall is blocking it from any negative eyes. You press your lips into a thin line and regard it bitterly. You remember this waterfall.... you could recall the times you whimsical pondered what it'd be like to ride down it like in those stories.

Jinshi had promised such when you both were too young and too dumb to realize how naïve dreams like that were.

You couldn't really judge that mini-you, for you had your own dreams of—

"Remember when Gaoshun first brought us here?"

You hadn't realized that Jinshi made his way over until he was standing beside you. Robes lose over his shoulders and tugging on his top layer. Violet eyes were watching the water as if it were a canvas of memories in the long distant past. Something to be admired and viewed with daisies and smiles. Not to be addressed as anything but good or amazing. Not to see the truth of it all.

You press your lips together, drawing in a heavy breath, "I remember you pushing me in the water and Gaoshun having to pull me out."

Jinshi's face screws up slightly, a faint blush on his features as he almost looks around with shame. "Right...." He straightens, "I'm sorry."

You blink, "Huh?"

Jinshi glances at you with a small smile, "I, uh, never really apologized back then. Made you apologize like you did something wrong." He explains weakly.

You raise an amused brow, "I told you I wished you would drown."

"I kinda deserved it!" Jinshi counters, his lips cracking into a grin. That charming grin he gets that makes your heart flutter. Make you hopeful for terrible and wistful. "I'm real sorry."

You smile softly, eyes kind and soft as you regard him, "I forgave you a long time, Jinshi-sama."

Jinshi's expression faltered, "Don't call me...." He trailed off awkwardly, turning his attention back to the unrelenting waterfall. You watched him for that moment. That split second where it looked like he was actually going to say something that would make you lightheaded. His jaw working and the muscle jumping as he seems to contemplate his next words.

Say anything and I'll cling to it, You think, watching his lips part, I always have. I always will.

"I'm surprised you were the one that followed me out. I thought the Apothecary might've done it."

You tense. That was certainly not what you expected him to say. Of all the things he could say? The Apothecary.

The waterfall in front of you is suddenly much too loud and violent. The cave seems to darken and your eyes drag from Jinshi to stare at your bare feet. Of course. Of course. Why wouldn't he want Maomao? Why had you even came here? Who were you to get between whatever silent signal he was trying to send to the other girl.

Him and Maomao. It was nicer than him and you. Jinshi and Y/n.

You straighten, pushing down any ill thoughts and heavy feelings into the dark pits of your chest and mind. "I apologize for the intrusion. I thought it'd make more sense for me to accompany you, Jinshi-sama."

"Why are you apologizing....?" He trailed off and then made a noise that sounded eerily similar to that of a caught man. "No, wait, I'm really glad that you're the one who came! Like really glad!"

"You don't have to spare me, Jinshi-sama. I'm a woman now, not a little girl."

"I'm not—" He visibly slumps, closing his eyes and trying to collect whatever thoughts he has and place them appropriately. He draws in a breath and faces you, looking oddly serious compared to his usual self. "I'm not trying to spare your feelings. I was just trying to say that— Well, it's not— I want you here, Y/n."

He's sparing your feelings. He's being kind. He doesn't actually want you there. You can't be friends.

You don't spare him a response. Instead, walking further into the cave. You raise your eyebrows, looking at the gaping hole above you where light and the sounds of nature filtered in. What could possibly get you both out of there...?

Whistle. Sit.

Of course. Him.

Jinshi sighs, "I spoke to Gaoshun before we—"

You place your fingers in the corner of your mouth and blow. A loud whistle bounces off the cave walls and out of the hole. You wait and hope to hear a bark or see the familiar tall man, but there's nothing.

"What are you doing?" Jinshi asks slowly, glancing between you and the hole above.

"Hello?" You cup your hands over your mouth and shout as loudly as you can. "Is anyone out there?"

Jinshi frowns, staring at you uneasily, "Y/n, please, we don't want to attract them this direction."

In the mess of almost drowning and seeing peeps of Jinshi's bare skin, you'd almost forgotten that you both had been chased down here by some violent assassin. Rather foolish, if you were honest.

You place the tips of your fingers against your lips and try to force the blush spreading across your cheeks off. "Sorry." You offer a bow of your head, despite the position you both find yourselves in.

You receive no response which causes you to peek at him. The stare that he's leveling you with doesn't bring you any type of comfort. It usually meant he was about to say something that—

"Hop on my back and see if you can reach up there."

—you wouldn't like.

Your eyebrows shot upwards and you stared at him with wide eyes. If Suiren was here and knew what he just proposed, she'd positively lose her mind. No matter how long she had known you— she'd think it improper. He was your boss and you were his lowly servant. To be in an position above him or treating him like a mat, it was...

It was simply ridiculous.

"But—"

"If you're the one below, you'll get crushed." He jabs a thumb over his shoulder. "Do it."

And that's how you ended up here. Legs wrapped around Jinshi's shoulders and heads, hand reaching out for the dirt above. You dig your fingers in and glance down at the man below you.

"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"

Jinshi sighed for what seemed the hundredth time that day, his hand on your thigh squeezing gently. "Y/N, please stop asking me that."

You grimace, "My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry." You shakily raise from your place, ignoring the soft and deep grunt Jinshi gives as you stand on his shoulders.

You dig your nails into the damp dirt and begin to tug yourself up.

This is it. Finally, you could get into the open forest once again. You're not going to be suffocated by his presence. Everything will return back to its rightful places—

You froze when it smacked you in the forehead.

You tried to keep calm as you felt the slimy breathing thing rest on your skin. Body tensed up and eyes staring widely at the bright sky above.

"Y/N?" Jinshi softly called, noticing the way you tensed.

"F—Frog." You utter, jaw clenched tight and you felt it shift as you take a deep breath. "A frog."

Jinshi blinked, looking up at you with his own wide eyes, "Hey, don't-don't freak out! Just shake your head and it'll hop off."

You shake a little, but follow his instructions. However, you may have overestimated the shake as you lose your grip on the dirt and begin to fall back.

"Hey!"

The tumble down is short and not all that hurtful, like you had been expecting. You had closed your eyes in anticipation, fear of having to watch the ground quickly approach too much for your tiny heart. You expected to feel the damp mud to be seeping into your clothes and little bits of stone and bark digging into your skin. However—

Nothing.

There was nothing except the soft silk under your fingers. The scent that resembled a sweet fruit, one that you had smelt quite often in the mornings. In the noons, the evenings, the nights, repeat. You knew that smell and that familiar beat against your own chest.

Peeking your eyes open, you find that Jinshi is already staring back at you. The first thing you notice is that you both are extremely close to one another. His breath fans against your dewy face, making goosebumps raise off your skin and a shiver sent down your spin. Next is his tender expression, Eyes gentle and twinkling. His expression isn't filled with pain or anything that would indicate that he was uncomfortable with the very short distance between you both. The last thing you notice is the fact that your body is pressed against his.

Your complexion flushes and you blink down at him.

He's warm. Incredibly warm. A sharp contrast to his damp clothes, which are open and pooling under his shoulder blades, revealing his bare chest to you. Your breath is ripped from you as you stare at the plump skin. You've seen it a million times. Every day as you help him get ready for the day. It should be normal. Should be something that doesn't make you lightheaded.

But it does.

He's right there. Right against you. You can feel his heartbeat ramming against his chest and into yours. You can feel every small breath he takes—as if hanging onto this moment with, what? Trepidation? Unease? You weren't entirely sure but you knew that you felt light.

Was it so bad that you felt nice in this moment? That this warmth was wrong? Was it so out of your reach that you simply couldn't imagine a man wanting to embrace you in a way?

You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

Yes. It was.

You clenched your jaw, ignoring the tender look in Jinshi's eyes as you try to bring your mind into the present.

The frog.

It wasn't anything that you wanted to touch, but Jinshi was your master. Your discomforts and fears must be pushed away for his sake and needs.

Reaching down, you feel for any signs of the frog. It wasn't large, but it wasn't entirely small either. It wouldn't be hard to find in all it's slimy and— There it is.

Your hand brushed it and you feel almost elated to find it. Your hand cupped around the bulge from Jinshi's robes. It feels much bigger than the average frog that'd been on your forehead. It was unmoving to, except for the small twitch it gives as you rest your palm down. You gripped it.

"Hng," Jinshi grunts, his eyes close. You're a little shocked as his hips shift, his hands at your hips dig into your flesh, almost too eager. You snap your eyes upward to his suddenly sweating and flushed face. "I-I'm sorry, but... but could you move your hand? It's making things, um, rather difficult."

Difficult?

You grip onto the twitching frog below you—

"U-Uh—" Jinshi moans in a deep and guttural way that would make anyone, especially you, malfunction. It doesn't help that his hands latch onto you harder, pressing you closer and releasing a stuttering breath against your ear.

Why was he squirming so much? Why was his face so red and dripping with sweat? Why was his chest heaving and his hands flexing around your skin? And why was this thing twitching and getting bigger in your hold....

Oh.

You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.

You felt a little sick at your intrusion. At the gall. You couldn't believe yourself. You had violated one of the single rules you were ever given. You violated Jinshi's space. His entire being. You were to be punished and hated— ousted from your position.

Disgusted with yourself, you slowly stand up. Jinshi's softly panting from his position on the ground, running a hand through his mused hair.

"S-Sorry, I haven't— I'm a bit—" Jinshi's obviously embarassed and uncomfortable. Look what you've done. You've ruined it all. "Hey, where are you going?"

Before you could think much more as his hands grip your hips once again and pull you down.

You're sat on his his lap and you could feel it.

"J-Jinshi-sama, I'm so-I'm so sorry!" You tucked your head down, shaking with trembling lips.

Jinshi's hands fall to your thighs, limp, "Eh...?"

"What I did was truly inappropriate and-and I will take any and all punishment!"

"Punishment...?" He sounded terribly confused, still a bit breathless. You keep your head ducked and he remains unmoved. "Why would I... you're not getting punished."

"I give my life to you. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished." You repeated softly under your breath, tucking your hands against your face to hide away from his gaze. From the judgement and hatred. "It's only just."

There's a longstanding silence between the both of you and you're hopeful that he's coming to his senses. That you'd be released and freed. That you would finally accept the gap and space between them. To fall away, finally, to the shadows.

It was tarnished the moment Jinshi wraps your hands around your own, gently prying your hands away from your face.

He doesn't look vengeful or angered. No. No, he looks kind. As he always has been. Kind and considerate. Honest and open. He'd always been so...

He'd never really been angry with you. Not without sadness being overbearing. Always so quick to forgive you. To push everything away with a smile and crinkle of his eyes.

"Y/N..." His words are as soft as his expression.

Your hands shake, "Please... Please hate me." You pleaded quietly, pressing your forehead against his hands as if he were a monk to be begged to.

"I'm not going to punish you or... or anything of the sort. Why would you want that?"

You draw in a watery breath, shoulders shaking, "It's easier to let go that way." You admitted.

"Let go of what?"

"Of my love for you."

"What?!"

His shout echoed off the cave walls. Your humiliation and embarrassment was quick to follow once it bounced back at you. Made you flinch back and try to push yourself back from his lap. Why did you say anything? Fool. Disgusting fool.

"Hey, hey, hey," Jinshi's hands wrap around your wrists and tug you forward a bit. You refuse to meet his eye. You refuse to be humiliated and demeaned— "Don't do that. Don't close off."

You clench your jaw and try to push the humilation deep within you, taking a deep calming breath as you stared at his bare collar. "You're so kind and so... you. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable or disgusted, but I need to tell you. And then I would hope that you would let me go."

Jinshi's eyebrows shot up. "Let you go?"

You've been thinking about this for some time. That it all would be better if, in the end, you were to serve someone else. That you were pawned off for some soldier instead of this slow torture. This uncomfortable, unbearable tiptoeing.

"I would like for you to offer me to a soldier or anywhere else."

The reaction is instant. The way Jinshi's complexion darkens and he stares at you with wide eyes. He slumps into the damp ground and almost turns into putty. His hold on you slackens and gives you ample opportunity to move away. But you're frozen in your spot.

"Why would I do that?" Jinshi's voice is quiet, slow, "You're... You're mine."

A blush takes over your cheeks, "Jinshi-sama, It's not appropriate! I shouldn't be like this with you."

"What if I like it?"

You blink at him. "Huh?"

Jinshi leans forward, his thumb gently skirting against your skin. "What if I have some love for you too? What if I don't care about what's appropriate or follows the rules."

I would ask who you are. You were tempted to say but your mouth was clamped shut in shock. Following the rules had been completely him. He was put in his current position now to ensure the rules in the rear palace were being followed diligently. The thought that he would love someone like you when there were people like Maomao or princesses out there. People much more deserving of his devotion. It wasn't right.

As if sensing you're not believing him, he pulls away and presses his lips thin. "Okay, I'll convince you." He straightens up and takes a breath. "I spoke to Gaoshun not too long ago. Before we came here and I know everything now."

A pause. Everything. He knew everything now? Everything is so much. Everything is... well, everything. What exactly had Gaoshun told him?

"What's everything?"

"That my mother didn't want you around anymore. That Gaoshun told you that you weren't allowed around me anymore. That you stopped being my friend and became my employee."

Your stare up at Jinshi with wide eyes. "That's not...Us being friends wasn't right anymore."

Jinshi frowned, shaking his head and his hands slide up to your arms. "If I had my way, I would've had you by my side all that time. Not as some lady-in-waiting, but as my equal."

You shake your head, ignoring the erratic beating of your heart against your chest. "Don't say that. Don't say things you don't mean, Jinshi." You beg softly.

Jinshi reaches out, wrapping his hands around your own, pressing it against his chest. "I mean it with everything in me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have ever been separated from you. Forget what my mother said." His words were sweet, tempting. They made you lightheaded. So did the sudden brightness and tender smile on his face. "That's the first time you've called me Jinshi since we were kids."

"What? I've always called you Jinshi."

"No, you've always called me Jinshi-sama."

"Oh."

You suppose you had.

"Jinshi," You utter, unsure of what else you both could say.

Jinshi's expression, if possible, softens further, leaning forward an inch. "Yes?" He whispers back just as softly.

Your eyes trail between his eyes before moving to his lips, parted and glistening, "Jinshi..."

Jinshi's hand slides up your thigh and his lips are ghosting against yours, "I'm here. I promise." He whispers before pressing your lips together delicately.

Your heart soars. Your hands shakily press against his cheeks, drawing closer as his own press your hips together. He's soft. He's tender. He's cautious and all encompassing. Filling your senses and making you lightheaded.

As you both part for a breath, he flips you onto your back. His hand grips the underside of your thigh and presses you close enough that he lets out a soft and broken sound.

His eyes are heavily lidded as he gazes down at you, lips pink. "I just want you. No one else. I promise." He utters.

You twist your hands into his hair, eyes fluttering. "You're it." You pass back.

His lips are back on yours. Wet and eager. This is sudden. Fast. But you've been waiting for so long. Had been clinging onto the smallest of things. Desperate to have this closeness that you had now. To feel his skin against yours. His breath mixing with your own. Everything him and everything you intertwined.

You just wanted to cherish this—

WOOF!

You and Jinshi both tense up, jumping. Looking over his shoulder, your eyes widen upon finding a familiar dog staring down at you both, wagging tail eager and happy to see you.

Jinshi's eyebrows furrow, "Huh...?"

There's not much warning before the dog is jumping down. Landing straight on Jinshi's back, causing the poor man to let out a pained sound. He's squishing you against the ground as the dog stands on his back, happily lapping his tongue against your cheek.

Vague disgust and disappointment wash over you, but you smile all the same. "Oh, boy!"

He barks again. A greeting you're sure.

Above, Lihaku and, surprisingly, Maomao appear. Both of them stare down at you with varying degrees of emotions. Lihaku looked excited and kinda like his dog, while Maomao.

Well, Maomao looked all too knowing.

"Well, you look rough!" Lihaku called down with a grin, "Glad to see you're not dead."

"As am I!" You huff out a laugh, then look to Maomao. "Hello, Xiaomao!"

"Hello." Maomao said flatly, she looked lower and her face screwed up distastefully. "Is Jinshi-sama okay?"

Lihaku then he spots his dog and slightly pales, letting out a sharp whistle. "C'mon, boy!"

The dog eagerly jumps off Jinshi, going to sit by your head and wag his tail. The man above you sighs in relief, pushing up off you. He sits up and you try not to focus on the bright blush on his face.

"Why did he do that?" The royal asks.

"Must've thought something was wrong." Lihaku rubs the back of his neck, frowning down at you both. "What... exactly where you two doing?"

You and Jinshi glance at one another, furious blushes flushing over you both. Despite anything that Jinshi said, there were things that you weren't allowed to do. Rules and laws that forbid something like this form happening the public eye. For a man like himself from being with a woman like you. A servant with a beautiful prince.

Protecting him was the priority.

"Nothing!" You shout back, ignoring the eyebrow raise that garnered from both Jinshi and Maomao.

Everything was better left alone. A secret between the both of you. To cherish and hold for however long it may need. You could deal with the anger and longing later.

#✩࿐ t writes #jinshi x reader #apothecary diaries #apothecary diaries x reader #jinshi #jinshi x y/n #jinshi x you #Kusuriya no Hitorigoto x reader #Kusuriya no Hitorigoto #request #anon

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ventismacchiato · 9 months

Text

42 behind the lens — curtain call !

epilogue

scaramouche x gender neutral reader

It’s at the times between recording scenes where you really get a glimpse at your lover.

His sweat stained hair and tear stained cheeks from a rather intense scene never get old. You were feeling rather fond as he made his way over to you, falling into your director’s chair and heaving a heavy breath. The only one other than you allowed to sit in it.

For a mere moment, you both simply look at each other. You guys were on break so a few conversation topics come to mind, it wasn’t often you guys got to speak as lovers rather than coworkers during work. And while they’re all things you’d like to talk to Scaramouche about, you realize you don’t need to force conversation with him.

There’s a hue of weariness that shows in Scara’s eyes, but you can tell that he’s happy. He’s doing what he’s been striving to do for all his years at university, so of course he is.

You search his dark eyes for his thoughts, too. When your eyes meet Scara’s he let’s out a tired smile.

“I missed you,” he easily says. The words come out easier than they would’ve years ago.

Your heart skips a beat, even years later.

“How? We’ve been working together all day,” you say.

“Do I need a reason to miss the person I love?” Scara scoffs, looking away from you to study the script he brought with him.

It isn’t the first time Scaramouche had told you that he loves you, but it’s never stopped holding the same weight it did the first time he’d ever said it.

It’s a rare type of love. The kind that exists so rarely for people in this industry and that lead lives similar to your guys’.

His loves makes you feel alive everyday. And Scara should know it, you should tell him more often—even if it’s rather dramatic for midday on set for their most recent project. It’s something you’d bring up at night that you two could laugh about in bed. Even if it catches Scara off guard.

But Scaramouche’s love caught you off guard, too, and every second you got the privilege to spend with him was a gift.

And as you stare at him, fiddling with the sleeves of his costume and eyebrows scrunched as he mouths his lines, you couldn’t help but feel your heart grow heavy.

“I suppose you don’t,” you reply, a minute too late, but Scara still chuckles at your response as he tosses the script aside.

“What? You’re not going to say it back?” he teases, “And I thought I was the emotionally constipated one.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you mutter, hitting him on the shoulder, “I love you, too. I guess.”

“Archons, you’re worse than me.”

“No, you were much worse when we were younger!”

“It was hot and mysterious when I did it.”

“Uh huh, just go back to set I’m sick of you.”

“Weird way to say you agree but okay.”

“Go!”

୨⎯ THE END ⎯୧

behind the lens !

masterlist — prev

author’s notes — and that’s a wrap folks! hope the ending wasn’t awkward i just wanted it to be short and sweet. anyway, thank u to everyone who read and kept up with this fic, means a lot to me that this blew up as it was smth i wrote for myself. if ur rereading this or are a reader in the future ty to you too! i appreciate the silent readers, anons, and ppl who left me sm cute comments and reblogs. u guys made writing it more fun and easier to ignore the not so nice ppl. i cant reply to everyone but just know i do read every ask and comment i get! i do hope to see u guys in my notifs in the future even if i don’t write for genshin anymore, but if not then i’m glad you gave my writing a chance <3 have a great day/night byebye

synopsis — you, better known as STARDUST, and BALLADEER have always been in competition for the top streamer spot on twitch, which is especially impressive since the two of you have never shown your faces. you’ve never been on good terms, constantly one-upping each other in matches and getting into petty arguments on twitter, causing your fans to also dislike each other. that’s until BALLADEER does a face reveal that breaks the internet with his good looks…which makes you realize it’s the same guy you went on a date with last night. the type of date that made you crave to see him again. the only problem was he didn’t know you were STARDUST and he was way different behind the lens than he portrayed himself online to you. should you keep your identity a secret to salvage the relationship or just let him go?

taglist — @captainzep @elysiumarchieve @plinkuro @sakkakuu-squared @eliqusgenma @vuvulia @kunikuzushiit @ins4nebish @stxrgxzxr @lilacponds @uma-umie @mitsukifilms @caesars-bubbles @wheneverthesunrise @its-like-twilight @kazuhalvrr @erosdevil @thenightsflower @p1utto @noodleshark420 @lxry-chxn @court-jester-stuff @lauragalliart @veyu002 @kaeyas-eyepatch-69 @leathernourishingshoepolish @courtneydefender @drunkwithfever @exhaustedcommunist @vincanzu @ainlaw @ovaliz @kitsuvil @whatamidoing89 @celestair @kunihaver @kazioli @xiaosoneandonly @cridtiins @cherrybeomgyu @asukahiriko @moon-320 @orionicchaos @cartierfiles [1/3]

#behind the lens smau #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x yn #scaramouche x reader smau #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche smau #scaramouche x gender neutral reader #genshin smau #genshin scaramouche

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morgana-larkin · 18 days

Note

Haii okay here’s my angst request! I love a good regretful jealous Mel hehehe. I was thinking you’re both teachers and she likes u but is like “I’m too cool for pining” so she does the extreme opposite and is kinda standoff-ish or blunt w u at school. When you’re alone she’s a little better but still not super lovey dovey. You “take the hint” and move on, and someone new comes into ur life (can you PLEASE for the LOVE OF GOD name this rando new person joy??). And then one day Mel’s like “let’s be official” And you’re like what? Why? I thought u didn’t like me also I have Joy now. And then Mel’s like wtf and she gets rlly jealous when she sees u w her now and then she tries to sabotage y’all’s blooming relationship. In the end maybe no happy ending pls?? If ur comfortable writing that :)

Hehe I LOVE a good heartbreak. Also I’m obsessed w joy Huerta (hence my username) and have been asking everyone to use it in fics AND PPL DONT ALFJKS. lmao anyways. I hope this is sumn ur comfortable writing!

OMG! you’re really testing me here! If I’m honest, it was hard to write. I rewrote it a few times, it hurt a little, might make a part 2. Honestly if even one person requests a part 2 with a happy ending then I will write one. As always, not edited in the slightest, I hope you like it!

On another note: keep sending prompts for one shots! I decided to write one shots about Chessy from parent trap played by our favourite redhead, Lisa Ann Walter, so you can send prompts for her too!

Green Isn’t Your Colour

Warnings: (where do I start lol) Jealous Mel, upset Mel, a bit of toxic Mel, angst and no comfort, no happy ending , good luck lol

Words: 3.2k

You walk in through the entrance of Abbott Elementary. You’ve been here for a year already and you’re finally feeling like you’re settling in. You’re a third grade teacher, you helped Melissa out as she wouldn’t have another split class again and that made her happy from the day you got there and hearing the news.

You walk into the break room, hot chocolate in hand, you don’t like coffee that much, but nothing could beat a good hot chocolate. You go and sit on an empty table, taking some tests out and start marking them. Melissa looks over at you from her table. She looks at the way you’re flawlessly marking, glasses on and concentrating on what you’re doing.

You glance up as you feel like you’re being watched and see Melissa looking at you, but then she quickly looks away when you notice and you smile. You liked her since you first set eyes on her and it only grew from there. But lately it seems like she’s off and you’re unsure why. She was nice to you when you started but now it’s like she’s the opposite and you don’t know why. You asked everyone else if they could answer why she’s different but no one noticed the change.

You got up and picked up the tests and decided to just carry them to your classroom. You passed by Melissa on the way out. “See you later Melissa.” You told her with a smile. She just nodded her head at you and went back to her phone. You looked at Barb and she just shrugged, not noticing a difference.

During your second period prep you finished marking the tests with a breath of relief. Just then Melissa knocks on your door and you look at her and smile. “Hey Melissa.” You tell her and she just has a neutral face and you drop your smile.

“I found the book you were asking for. The little eagles liked it last year and I’m sure they’ll like it again.” She said and handed you the book.

“Oh perfect, thank you.” You told her and smiled at the book. Melissa looked at you and couldn’t help the small smile forming at your excitement of the book. And you looked up at her to see the small smile on her face. “Hey Melissa, can I ask you something?” You asked and she looked at you confused.

“You can but it doesn’t mean I’ll answer.” Melissa said.

“Um ok. Well I was just wondering why you’re acting differently around me?” You ask and she looks at you with a neutral face again.

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“Well you were nice to me last year but now you’re acting distant and I don’t know why.” You asked her. “Did I do something wrong?” You added and that took her by surprise. She doesn’t want you to think you did anything wrong because you didn’t. Melissa has a crush on you and she doesn’t want to show it or let anyone know, and her acting nicely to you last year definitely raised suspicions, so she went back to how she acts with everyone else.

“You didn’t do anything kid. This is just how I am with people.” She said.

“You’re not like that with Barb.” You said.

“Barb is my best friend, so of course I’m nice to her.”

“What about Janine? Jacob? Gregory? Or when Ava at times? You’re nice to them.” You told her, getting a little frustrated.

“That’s because they’re my friends.” She said and you were taken back by that and it definitely stung. Melissa looks at your expression and knew she shouldn’t have said that. She does think of you as a friend but it just slipped out.

“Oh ok, well glad to know where we stand then, just co workers. Thank you for the book Ms. Schemmenti, I’ll return it tomorrow.” You tell her and go back to your desk. “If that was all then if you don’t mind, I have a lesson plan to do.” You told her and she nodded her head.

“See ya around kid.” She said and left. She knew she fucked up there. She’ll have to start being a bit nicer to you to get back in your good graces.

Back in your classroom you took a big breath. You thought you and Melissa were friends but I guess you were wrong. No wonder she’s always short and blunt with you.

The next day you were at the coffee shop, receiving your hot chocolate like always, turning around to leave and bumped into someone, spilling your hot chocolate all over them and a bit on yourself.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I just wanted to talk to you and didn’t expect you to turn around.” The person said.

“Oh well I feel like I should be apologising, my hot chocolate mostly went on you. Wait, you wanted to talk to me? Why?”

“Because I see you in here everyday and I think you’re pretty.” She said with a blush and you blushed at her compliment.

“Oh uh th-thank you.” You stuttered a bit, not used to compliments.

“Can I buy you another hot chocolate? As an apology?” She said and you looked at her.

“Oh you don’t have too.”

“I want to though. Please, I insist.” She said and you smiled at her. She bought you another hot chocolate and handed it to you with a smile. “And there we go.” She said.

“Thank you.” You told her and saw the time. “Oh I gotta get to work.” You told her.

“Oh that’s alright I understand. I’ll see you again tomorrow?” She asked.

“Ya, I come here, same time every day.” You said with a smile and began to leave but turned around to her. “I never got your name btw.”

“It’s Joy.” She told you.

“I’m y/n.” You tell her and she smiles.

“You have a lovely name, it suits you.” She tells you. You blush and leave the coffee shop. You get to the school and immediately go to your classroom instead of the break room. You put your stuff done and see the book that Melissa gave you yesterday sitting on your desk. You might as well return it now, you got a few minutes before the students get here. You picked up the book and walked to the classroom next to yours and knocked on the open door. Melissa was stapling something and looked up at you and gave you a little smile.

Your heart fluttered a little at the smile and you remembered what she said yesterday. “Hi Ms Schemmenti, I came to return the book.” You told her, and held the book up.

She looked at you and remembered what happened yesterday and sighed. “Thanks y/n” she said and got up and walked over to you to take the book. “Did the little eagles like it?” She asked.

“Ya they did.” You said confused at her using your actual name

“I knew they would. You can borrow it whenever you want.” She told you and you offered her a small smile and nodded your head.

“Thanks Ms Schemmenti, I’ll keep that in mind.” You told her and left. She stared at you as you walked back to your own classroom and did a huge sigh and leaned back against her door.

A month goes by and you run into Joy everyday at the coffee shop. She took it upon herself to order you a hot chocolate and have it ready by the time you get there. You kept offering her the money for it but she always refuses, saying your company was payment enough. You exchanged numbers after a couple days and started texting for hours on end. By the second week she asked you out on a date and you said yes. By the third week she asked you to be her girlfriend to which you agreed excitedly.

At school, you noticed that Melissa has been a bit friendlier with you. You took her sudden change with caution though, you don’t want to get hurt again.

For Melissa, she wants to ask you out but she keeps getting scared. But after a month of being friendly with you, she decides to bite the bullet and just do it. She went to go see you at your classroom after the students left on Monday.

“Hey y/n, can I ask you something?” She asked you as she stepped in your classroom.

“Sure Melissa, what’s up?” You said and she smiled. You’ve been calling her by her first name again for about a week, and after you calling her Ms Schemmenti for 3 weeks, well she still smiles when you call her Melissa now.

“I wanted to ask you on a date.” She says and you look at her and freeze.

“What?” You ask, confused as hell.

“I wanted to officially ask you on a date.” She says and you look at her confused.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“I thought you didn’t like me.” You tell her and she looks a bit guilty.

“I never not liked you, when I realised I liked you near the end of the last year, I didn’t want to give away my feelings so I started acting distant towards you.” She says and looks down for a second then back up at you. “So will you go on a date with me?” She asks again.

“No.” You told her and she looked upset. “I did like you but I have a girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend? I thought you were single.” She says confused and still hurt.

“I was, until 2 weeks ago, her name is Joy.” You said with a smile. And Melissa looks at you with a bit of fire in her eyes. “If she’s real then I would like to meet her.” She tells you, crossing her arms,

“Oh ok, ya sure. I can ask if she can come meet everyone tomorrow morning if you want.” You tell her.

“Ok, I look forward to meeting her then.” Melissa says and leaves disappointed.

You asked Joy if she wanted to meet your coworkers tomorrow morning and she excitedly agreed immediately.

So the next morning, you meet Joy at the coffee shop as usual and she hands you your hot chocolate then you drive over to the school and walk in with her. You head to the break room with her and enter and all eyes look up at you and her.

“Everyone, I would like you to meet Joy, my girlfriend. Joy, this is Janine, Jacob, Gregory, Barb, Ava.” You said, pointing to everyone as you said their name. “And this is Melissa, the one who asked to meet you.”

“Hi everyone! And hi Melissa, I’m very much real as you can see.” Joy says and Melissa doesn’t look happy, she crosses her arms and the fire in her eyes come back. She thought you were lying and would have to keep being nicer to you before you agree to go on a date with her. Barb notices Melissa getting angry and puts a hand on her arm and that startles her and then just sits there, staring at you. She sees you being all happy as Jacob and Janine got up to come say hi to your girlfriend.

She wanted to be that person, be your girlfriend and she blew it. But then remembered that you said yesterday that you did have feelings for her, so maybe you still do. Then she smiles at that thought and thinks of different ways to play it. Joy would have to go of course, she ain’t gonna put a hit on her but instead she’ll try to sabotage it, and to do that, she’ll have to be nice first and get information.

So she gets up and goes over to you two. “Hi, nice to meet you. Ya I didn’t think you were real when y/n here as been single since I’ve known her.” She says to your girlfriend then proceeds to put an arm around your back as she mentions you being single and your eyes widen a bit.

“Oh that’s alright, it was a shock to y/n too when I asked her.” Joy says, and Melissa thinks it’s a shame she’ll have to sabotage it as she seems nice. But this person is getting in the way of her happiness so she gots to go.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you two meet?” Melissa asks.

“Oh we met at the coffee shop down the street, the one you told me about and I get a hot chocolate there every morning. And then I bumped into Joy about a month ago, like physically bumped into her and spilled my drink all over her.” You say with a chuckle.

“Ya she did but it was my fault, I saw her there every morning and after a couple weeks I decided to go talk to her and didn’t expect her to turn around at that very moment. So I offered to get her a replacement one and then we started talking.” Joy said with a smile.

And you noticed how Melissa’s hand got a bit lower on your back and you subtly get out of her grip and say an excuse. “Joy, do you want to go see my classroom?” You ask her and she immediately said yes. Joy waves bye to everyone and they all tell her it was nice to meet her and hope to see her again. And Melissa thinks that if it goes according to plan then she won’t be back to see them again.

At the end of the day, Melissa visits your classroom. “Hey y/n.” She says as you’re packing your things up.

“Oh hey Melissa. What’s up?” You ask her and sling your bag over your shoulders.

“Well I was wondering if I could go with you to the coffee shop tomorrow? I haven’t been there in awhile and wouldn’t mind a good store bought coffee once in awhile instead of one from the break room.” She says and you look at her confused.

“Oh I always meet Joy at the coffee shop in the morning.” You say and Melissa smiles, she knew it.

“Well that’s alright, maybe I could get to know her better then.” She says and you agree and tell her the time that you meet up with Joy.

The next morning, Melissa gets to the coffee shop first and orders a coffee for her and a hot chocolate for you. You and Joy come in a couple minutes later and see Melissa near a table with 2 drinks. “Hey Melissa.” You say and she looks over at you and smiles.

“Hey y/n and Joy. Here y/n, I got you a hot chocolate.” She says and sees the frown on Joy’s face before smiling again. Melissa smiles at that, she knew that Joy was still getting you a hot chocolate every morning. You said it yesterday to Janine and Jacob. “I would have gotten something for you but I forgot to ask y/n here what you like.” Melissa says and puts a hand on your shoulder.

Joy looks at the interaction and gives a confused look. “That’s alright, I’ll just go get a drink for myself. I’ll be right back.” She says and you and Melissa nod.

You look at Melissa a little confused. “Why are you being so much nicer all of a sudden?” You say to her and she just shrugs, feigning innocence.

“I don’t know what you mean y/n? I’m just getting to know your little girlfriend over there.” She says and hits you, Melissa is jealous.

“Melissa, are you jealous?” You asked and she scoffs. “I’m being serious, yesterday you asked me out saying you liked me. And now you’re at the coffee shop that I meet Joy at every morning and meeting nicer to me in front of her.”

“I’m just trying to make sure that she’s right for you, is all.” Trying to cover up the fact that you were right.

Before either of you can say anything else, Joy comes back with her drink. “Hey y/n, I would like to stay longer but worked called and asked if I could come in earlier. Like right now earlier. And I wouldn’t mind the extra cash.” She says and you nod.

“That’s alright, I understand, have a good day at work.” You tell her and she gives you a goodbye kiss on the lips and the fire in Melissa’s eyes return.

“Alright thanks for understanding, it was nice seeing you again Melissa.”

“Ya you too.” Melissa says back to her. Melissa didn’t like that kiss, and worse is that the only issue she has with Joy is that she’s with you. Other than that, Joy seems like a nice person, and she hates that fact.

At the end of the day Melissa stops by your classroom again. “Hey y/n.”

“Should I expect this to be a daily occurrence? You stopping by my classroom at the end of the day?” You say with a laugh and she gives a small laugh at that.

“Maybe.” She says and closes your door and walks up to you. You look at her confused for closing the door, but then think she probably wants to talk to you privately. “I don’t like her. Your girlfriend.” She says and you frown.

“Why?”

“I don't know, there’s just something about her that I don’t like.”

“Well you’ve only just met her. If you see her more then you might grow to like her.” You tell her with a smile.

“No I won’t actually.” She says and you’re confused.

“And how do you know you won’t?”

She looks you dead in the eyes and walks closer to you. “Because as long as she’s with you, then I won’t like her.” She says and she got very close to you and you had to walk back and you end up backing into your desk and she puts her hands on the desk on both sides of you, effectively trapping you. You look at her with wide eyes.

“Melissa, I-” and you don’t get to say what you were about to as her lips are on yours. You begin to kiss her back and then push her off. “Melissa what the fuck? You know I’m with Joy.” You tell her and she smirks.

“Then why did you kiss me back? And don’t deny it. I know you did before you pushed me off.” And you look at her speechless since she’s right. Melissa smiles at you and goes to kiss you again but you stop her.

“No Melissa, I’m with Joy now.” You tell her and she frowns.

“You wouldn’t rather be with me?” She asks and you shake your head.

“I’m happy with who I’m with. I’m sorry.” You tell her and walk out of your classroom, leaving behind a hurt Melissa who has a tear rolling down her cheek.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

If you want to be added then let me know!

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x oc #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti #x reader #fanfic

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carmyboobear · 2 months

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i’d really like to know your opinion on carmy and sex, in the sex scene with claire he doesn’t seem all there with it

YES I would LOVE to discuss this!! Strap in everyone I have so many thoughts, and I totally invite ppl to agree or disagree :D

Firstly you’re so right… tbh I never gave that scene much thought but I love this take for many reasons. Like, carmy is a VIRGIN. he’s NEVER had a girlfriend. I think he’s barely had friends. He’s not good at relationships. While I do LOVE writing him as a pussy devourer and soft dom it would take a while for him to get to that point… putting this in a read more bc it got lengthy btw

Carmy is a very repressed person by nature. With that being said, I think he’s also very lonely. He definitely has sexual desires and fantasies, but has never let him act on them, nor has given himself the opportunity. After never having sex for 30 years, I think he’s built up a lot of pressure towards it.

He also has so much trouble allowing himself joy of any kind. He has this logic where if he lets himself be happy, tragedy will come. Foreboding joy and all that. That extends to every part of his life, including sex, ESPECIALLY sex, relationships of any kind. But deep down, he truly wants connection, physical intimacy, emotional intimacy.

So when he has sex for the first time, it has to be with someone he really trusts and likes. He’ll put a ton of pressure on himself to feel good, but mostly to make the other person feel good. He’d ask the other person how to make them feel good, what he should do. If he’s good at anything, it’s following instructions, following a recipe to completion.

But he’s probably gonna get too caught up in what he thinks he should be doing to properly enjoy himself. Sex is about communication, something he isn’t good at doing with himself or with others. He’ll get stuck in his own head, possibly being unable to pick up cues from himself or his partner. And probably end up dissociating quite a bit, just like you noticed.

Practice (and communication) makes perfect! As long as he has a patient partner, I’m sure Carmy will be able to reach a comfortable place with sex. He’s a giving person, and he wants to give in bed too, vis a vis pussy eating champion (but also oral fixation lol). I also think a blow job could fix him HAHAHA he could come like. Instantaneously LMFAO

I have a lot of fun writing him being like, super good at sex, and I think once he jumps over some mental hurdles he can become his enlightened pussy destroyer self. That’s the version of carmy I’d write in my fic line “let me love on you”, but realistically, sex for him would look much different than that. That’s what I hope to explore in my slow burn fic “ALEXITHYMIA”!!

Anyway wow my thoughts are all over the place here but I hope this makes sense. I think about carmy so much lol

#carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #the bear #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x you #the bear fx #the bear Hulu #my asks #IS IT OBVIOUS THAT IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS GUY CONSTANTLY. HAHAHA #also full transparency I typed this out while I’m taking my lunch break at work rn #bear talk

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kelordi · 3 months

Text

i have a very self indulgent cattonquick feminization fic idea, but i don't think i'm gonna write it. i still really wanna find other ppl who might be into it though so. ideas below

oliver poisoned him, but felix didn't die. oliver flees saltburn while felix is in the hospital, scared of possible retaliation or worse. his excuse is everything "hitting too close to home", as the cattons still are unaware of his actual home life. he comments on how overdoses are much too common for him and he can't handle seeing felix in such a state.

felix never sees oliver again.

until he returns to school that fall anyway.

they avoid each other all semester. felix sees him around campus still. oliver's hair is starting to get longer. probably because felix isn't around to tell him what looks good anymore.

felix tells his friends and farleigh that he's mad because oliver left while he was recovering. nothing about him lying.

felix knows oliver tried to kill him. he's mad at himself for missing him. he's mad at himself for not caring.

they return after holiday break.

it's more of the same. avoiding each other, sometimes making awkward eye contact. oliver doesn't talk to anyone, has no friends seemingly. felix always sees him alone. not even the weird blond guy follows him around anymore. his hair's past his ears now. he tucks it behind sometimes.

felix gets drunk at the pub like always. he can't stop thinking about oliver the whole time. how evil he is. how much he wants to hurt him. his eyes. his lips. how much he misses him. his hair. felix leaves. doesn't bring a girl home with him. goes to find ollie instead.

ollie's in his dorm of course. where else would he be?

oliver answers when felix knocks, then tries to close it out of fear when he sees who it is. felix stops the door with his hand, shoves his way inside and onto oliver's bed.

oliver nervously follows, but keeps his distance.

"i need to talk to you"

"felix-"

"shut the fuck up, ollie. you left me to die, least you can fucking do is shut the fuck up"

oliver shuts up. felix feels sick. there's a moment.

"why did you do it?"

"do what?" felix makes a face. "honest to god felix i haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about"

felix's voice changes. "ollie."

that breaks oliver. he rushes up to him on his bed, pleading with felix for forgiveness, making his excuses, declaring his love. felix finds it as pathetic as it is endearing. his face remains neutral as he watches his former best friend and attempted murderer grovel at his feet, pull at his pants and beg for forgiveness.

felix finally speaks. “i don’t forgive you.”

oliver is shattered. "felix..."

he looks at oliver, looks in his eyes. he's always gotten attention, sure, but he's never had devotion like this. it's intoxicating, watching someone look up at him like he's a god, like he possesses unwordly powers.

he pushes oliver's new, longer bangs out of the way, gets a good look at him. he runs his thumb along oliver's bottom lip. oliver is hesitant, but he takes it into his mouth. felix pulls him open. oliver just sits there, pillar still, looking up at felix in adoration. always fucking looking up at him. a glob of spit falls from felix’s lips into oliver's waiting mouth. oliver closes his eyes, clearly being overtaken by pleasure, and swallows it. he's accepted his only chance at redemption.

"i will never forgive you." felix doesn't believe his own words, but needs to say them.

he pulls oliver into his lap (not as easily as he had hoped). oliver's shaking, but keeps his hands at his sides.

for a second, felix thinks about fucking oliver tonight. it's unfamiliar territory, but he's been around bisexuals his whole life, even if he never thought he was one. and maybe he's not, looking at oliver. not just his hair, his hands are so much smaller than felix's own. he's so much smaller than felix in general. fucking oliver would basically be like fucking a girl.

"you grew your hair out."

"i didn't really..." felix pushes a loose bit of oliver's hair behind his ear. "do you like it?"

felix nods. he wants to kiss him. god, he wants to kiss him, but oliver hasn't earned it yet. they have so much to talk about. too much, but at least for now, they have a mutual understanding.

tldr: felix is beating himself up for missing oliver. felix copes with his feelings by treating oliver like a girl. potentially cracks his egg? or is it a devotion thing? who knows!

#saltburn #cattonquick #felix catton #oliver quick #fic ideas #i just really like feminization and the idea of oliver being devoted enough to felix to start transforming himself in that way #and felix (being not as nice as he thinks he is) loves vc having that control over him #i don't expand on this idea that much in the read more though its mostly just establishing timeline and attitudes #yap.txt

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allastoredeer · 2 months

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~Lucifer blanches. He looks around, as if trying to find a sense of Alastor’s words somewhere in the trash-heap he calls a room, before rounding back to him, lips pulling up in disgust. “Are you asking me out?”

“Ahaha!” Alastor laughs, slapping him so hard on the back it nearly takes Lucifer off his feet. “Oh, Heavens no. I’m just proposing we let Hell continue thinking that you and I are,” he waves his hand, searching for the word, “in cahoots. In that way.”~

This is golden comedy right here. Honestly every time I read ur fic I always start wheezing so hard I can’t breathe, u are an amazing writer, hope u know that. When I saw ur last update on the ‘damage control’ chapter i was so excited i devoured it so fast help

Alastor saying he wants to be in ‘cahoots’ with Lucifer it’s so funny to me cause no one use that term anymore, and Lucifer is just downright dumbfounded that they are even having the conversation. I can imagine the shadow rolling his eyes at them, we need more sassy shadow moments, he is so underrated. 😭😭

I love that Lucifer is trying to respect Al boundaries, especially after the ‘incident’ , and doesn’t pry to much on his scars, but now I am curious about what did Al meant. Does he not remember who did that to him? 🥺

Also I am curious about what they gonna tell to the others about their new found relationship. I don’t think Lucifer would want to lie to Charlie, but I also think that it would be too risky to make the whole crew knew they are acting, someone might slip. And it’s not like Al is gonna make it easy for Lucy anyway. If they want to be credible, less ppl knowing it’s best course of action for me.

Last thing~ I really wanted to thank you, cause ur fic really brings me a lot of joy since I recently only been able to find happiness in small things like these , and I I can’t wait to read more🌈

Hehehe, Alastor purposefully refusing to go into depth about their "sexual relationship," and even side-stepping outright calling it a relationship, is what's going to make it all more entertaining when he actually has to commit to the bit. Cuz you see, they're not fucking. They're "in cahoots."

It's different.

(I love Alastor's Shadow being sassy. If it's attached to Alastor, it has to be. I take no critiques.)

😈 Alastor and his scars is something I'm very excited to get into it. I've been thinking about them for a while, and while it may take a bit to actually get the answer, I'm very eager to get there when we do.

The way I see it, Alastor doesn't want to tell the others (as they already know their not actually dating--as he made VERY clear last time), but Lucifer isn't going to be okay with lying to Charlie. Out of the group, Alastor knows he can trust Husk and Niffty to keep it a secret. Maybe Angel Dust too. But he's most worried about Charlie and Vaggie.

Vaggie isn't a good liar, and Charlie's such an open, bright, heart-on-her-sleeves person, he doesn't trust her to keep up the ruse without letting something slip--most likely by accident.

But Lucifer is stubborn. He doesn't want to lie to Charlie, and if he tells Charlie, Charlie is going to tell Vaggie. If Vaggie knows, well, we already know she has a hard time lying on the spot, so if the others see Alastor and Lucifer suddenly "in cahoots," and ask about it, she's not going to be able to come up with a plausible excuse on the fly.

This is all to say, the next installment is going to be full of silly Hazbin Crew hijinks, where Alastor is forcefully enrolled into Chaggies Dating 101 Crash Course, and he is definitely not setting the grading curve. (And maybe we'll even get a bit of HuskerDust thrown in there, who knows. Certainly not me).

And it warms me so much to know that my fic can bring you joy in a time that such things are scarce 🥺 I can't wait to share more of the story with you!

#seriously #getting asks like these brighten my day to know end #I like keeping actual story elements and plot hooks a secret until we get there in the fic #but GOD #when you guys ask questions about it I just want to blab everything #ive got so many thoughts on the brain and I wanna SHAARRREEEE #Im so happy my fic is helping through a hard time #that's such an amazing thing to hear and i sincerely hope that whatever situation your in gets better #in the meantime #pls accept these absolute goofuses stumble their way into an actual queer relationship #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #lucifer morningstar #the radio demon #appleradio #lucifer magne #asks #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin charlie #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #niffty #charlotte morningstar #vaggie hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #husk #hazbin husk

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sexybabystevie · 1 year

Note

hurt/comfort steve thought (if you’re still accepting them!): he really hates crying in front of ppl so throughout the beginning of your relationship you try to gently remind him it’s ok if he cries in front of you, it’s not a sign of weakness etc. and when something happens that makes him break down in front of you for the first time, he’s like rly shy & embarrassed at first :(

A/n: Oh my gosh this took SO long to answer, I am SO SO sorry about that. Anyways, I enjoyed this thought so much that I decided to pair it with a running idea that I had in my brain lately, so this ended up Steve-Thought-turned-whole-fic, so I hope you enjoy it, lovely!! Once again, thank you for sending this in and partially inspiring this!

His Knight in Shining Armor

Boyfriend!Steve Harrington x Reader

Tags and Warnings: Post Volume 2 Setting, Mentions of Eddie's Death and Max's Coma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Missing Scene, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Guilt, Comfort/Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Steve Harrington, Steve Finally Gets to Cry, Despite the Title Reader's Gender is Ambiguous, Episode: s04e09 "The Piggyback"

Word Count: 5527

Summary: Even as Steve's long-term partner, you've never once seen him cry. In the aftermath of the final battle against Vecna, and in the very hospital room where a barely-living Max Mayfield lies, that changes.

Steve Harrington Masterlist

“Steve!”

Your legs burn as you chase your boyfriend out into the hallway, black Converse tapping softly at the dingy grey tiles beneath you. Everything is a blur – white walls and white coats and white lights that are far too bright and probing at you; it’s all blending together – and the smell of chemical antiseptic gives you a nauseating headache. Still, all of your grievances are floating, fading, flying away at the sight of the man before you.

Steve Harrington is too strong for his own good. A lover, probably one of the most caring people you’ve ever known, and yet he carries so much. The guilt of being Nancy Wheeler’s bullshit for much too long, the awareness of Hawkins’ looming and inevitable doom, the instinct and need to be there to protect you and Robin, to protect the kids – all of these are things that Steve Harrington has placed upon his own back, heaving emotional weights that even a sumo wrestler would struggle to uphold, and yet you had never once seen him cry. Or, rather, he had never once let you see him cry.

You had cried in front of him several times – stress from work and just shitty days in general tearing you down – so it was difficult to imagine just how he was holding himself together. With the thinnest of threads, is what you would assume.

You had always told him that it was okay to be vulnerable, that you would be there to catch him if he ever fell, to hold him during his starless nights, but he was persistent. He shrugged off your offers, not in an unappreciative way, but in a manner that seemed to mean that he wanted you to be under the impression that he was fine. That he didn’t need you to sweep up the broken pieces of him and put them into the dustpan, because he had only ever tried being so defenseless with one other person before, and what had that gotten him? Bullshit…

You never pushed him, hoping with everything in you that he would absorb your words into his heart and come to you when the walls crumbled, but you had a feeling that the first cracks were forming in his foundation when this entire mess with Vecna started.

When you had stepped into Max’s hospital room together, hands interlocked, you almost felt his breathing catch as if you shared the same lungs. His palm stilled against your own, cold and clammy, and he was slinking away from you, back out the door you had barely stepped through to begin with. He was running down the hallway, towards the emergency fire exit at the very end, and you knew that the river was overflowing the dam.

“Steve, please–” you breathlessly call out to him, gaining a few confused glances from patients and visitors nearby, but he’s out the door before the words have fully fallen from your lips. Whether he’s ignoring you in the hopes that you turn away or he somehow just hasn’t heard you yet, you’re unsure.

Regardless, you’re still hot on his heels, your feet hitting the ground impossibly faster. The force of your speed causes them to go numb, nerves firing like you’re stepping on little knives, but you don’t care. You’re too focused on watching Steve’s hazy outline through the blurred windows to really notice. Everything in you hopes that his silhouette doesn’t get smaller – he’s not walking away into the parking lot, he’s not – and you must be really good at manifestations because your wishes somehow ring true. That, or maybe it’s the fact that you know Steve Harrington like the scenic backroads to your parents’ house.

You underestimate just how rapidly the door to the outside is approaching, too caught up in your own worry to think about your physical body. The breath is knocked out of your lungs as you collide with the exit, harsh metal bruising your hipbone as the force of your being sends the door flying open. Wincing and gasping for air, you wobble and step down onto the concrete landing below, eyes scanning for your boyfriend with the intensity of those futuristic pieces of spyware that Joyce Byers said local conspiracy theorist Murray Bauman owned. Maybe your eyes were as powerful as the spyware too, because you easily found Steve’s mop of ruffled-through hair even when it was barely visible over the stairs.

Posture slumped, a man – no, younger; he’s a helpless boy now, a boy who has bravely bitten off far more than he’s able to chew – with shaking shoulders, hollow and yet so unbearably full. His palms shield his face from the world, the only way he can go about holding himself up in this moment, and he caves in on himself, a statue who’s been pushed a little too far over the edge and who is now facing the irreparable consequences. Statues only are made for heroes, how did he end up with one anyway?

You tentatively approach him, walking a little over halfway down the staircase with each move forward feeling like a punch to the gut, and his despondence is like someone has taken your favorite sweater and tried to replace it, but the material isn’t as soft as before and the stitching on the inside isn’t in the same pattern. You stand three steps behind him – his shadow is on your shoelaces – and he says nothing. Three becomes two and two becomes one, and he says nothing. You sit down next to him, a gust of wind and your legs against the cool rock below making you shiver, and again, he says nothing. He doesn’t move, doesn’t acknowledge that you’re there or that your breathing is still heavy from chasing him, and a pit begins to form in the most sensitive area of your stomach. The tides are receding and the morning skies are red – Steve Harrington is becoming a tsunami.

You, then, say nothing. You’re afraid to reach out to him, afraid he will turn away from your touch like he’s been burned, afraid that you’ll try to mend his heart and it will scurry away from you forever, and you love him. You love him so much that you can’t risk it – the prospect of loving him so much that it drives him away is your very own circle of Hell – so you sit and you say nothing.

Minutes pass, and the air feels like it’s rocky – you’re inhaling pebbles when you breathe. There seems to be a mountain between you – better yet, he’s at the top of the mountain and you’re a traveler without the proper gear to reach him – and you feel as though your hand would have to go through lightyears of space and time to brush upon his shaking arm. The silence doesn’t seem like it will let up, and you’re growing to think that maybe he won’t open up to you at all.

Steve’s position shifts – he buries himself further in his hands, somehow – and that almost gives you the impression that his body isn’t violently shaking. He talks then, moreso brokenly whispers, and if you weren’t right next to him then you might have mistaken it for the whimpering wind.

“I can’t go back in there.”

You stay quiet, unsure of what to do next. Your most basic instinct in that moment is to wrap yourself around him like a warm coat, keeping him from the cold of the air and the cruel of the world, but you don’t even settle for resting a palm against his arm. Any move is a push too far when it comes to Steve Harrington and allowing himself to feel for once.

Instead, you pray that he continues on. To your luck, again, he does.

“I know they need me. The kids need me, Robin needs me…” His voice trails off, and he retreats from his hiding place between his hands. He doesn’t turn to you, but it’s a sign of acknowledgement that’s moving in the right direction, nonetheless. “She needs me. Max–” His voice cracks and he tries to cover his tracks by clearing his throat and biting his bottom lip, but you can already see the sheen of unfallen tears on his waterline.

All thoughts of moving too quickly thrown out the window, you shuffle closer and angle yourself so that your knees are inches away from one of his. The warmth from his body fades into yours, intermingles and creates a voluntary bubble of safety around the two of you, and you don’t stop your hand from reaching out and snaking its way down his forearm. A ghost against his skin, leaving goosebumps along your wake, you carefully interlock your fingers with his, and while he’s trembling and resistant at first – stoic – he seems to surrender to himself as his grip hardens against your own, leaving his knuckles white and your hand feeling a little cramped, but you know better than to say anything. Not now.

The reciprocation of his hand to yours settles his internal battle – it’s okay if he keeps going, keeps feeling – and so he finally lets out a long, quivering breath that is reminiscent of the steam above a volcano.

“I’ve already failed her once, and now I’m doing it again.”

The words are what you expected to hear from him, but that doesn’t mean that they make your airways feel any less constricted. Imagining the guilt that he must be carrying – the guilt of losing a friend, a sister, almost a daughter – somehow is more painful than when you collided with the heavy hospital door a few minutes ago.

Everything is suddenly too real. Just days ago you felt like you were on top of the world with your plans to take down Vecna, overconfidence being the sunlight that kept all of you on your toes, and now you were here. Here, with several of your friends gone and one on the verge, skirting the veil between life and death, and you hadn’t really had time to process it all until now. With Steve’s fear and guilt and grief bleeding into you via osmosis of the hand, reality is finally settling in.

It was easier to pretend that none of this was real when you were packing up all of your things to move into Steve’s – all of you had seen the empty ground where Vecna’s gunshot-riddled body should have been, so Steve wasn’t going to have you living in your place alone, even if it meant there was a minuscule chance his parents came back to awkwardly find you there – and it was easier to pretend that nothing had changed when you went to volunteer at Hawkins High, mindlessly going back over the clothes your boyfriend had folded to make sure that they were presentable. The days after the rift was created between Hawkins and its Upside Down counterpart were hazy; it was as if everything before had been some fever dream that all of you had shared, and your schedule was so busy with volunteering and moving that you didn’t have time to fret or to try and tackle what had happened and how that had made you feel.

Everyone had spent those first few nights in sleepless petrification. Joyce hadn’t surprised the group by returning and recovering Hopper yet, and Jonathan and Argyle were still making their way back to Hawkins with El, Will, and Mike. The party was broken, in more ways than one, and so everyone who remained stayed together.

None of you even bothered with packing up night bags or suitcases – truthfully, no one knew when you would all be returning home – and none of you complained when Steve led the rest of you back to his place on foot, ushering you inside the door with a pathetic attempt at a smile. Max had already been transported to the hospital then, and while Lucas had traveled with her initially, they sent him home after she went into emergency surgery. The home he went back to was Steve’s, and those who were inside – Robin, you, Steve, Erica, Dustin, and Nancy – greeted him with heavy embraces and unspoken solemnity. No one spoke at all that night; rather, everyone piled up on extra mattresses and couches in the living room and huddled together as the TV displayed movie after movie. Each time one went off, Steve got up to find another one to put in the VHS.

Once an old helicopter from Russia and a pizza van from California touched Indianian soil, the family reunion had begun. Some victories and losses were shared with one another, but certain topics remained unmentionable. Max. Eddie. Their names were like lava on your tongues, and saying them meant that it was real – Vecna was still out there and he was real, several innocent people had died and had been declared missing since the rift had opened and that was real, and just as Max was finally becoming more forgiving with herself, she was gone again, and that was real too. It was too much all at once, too much for a group of children who had somehow fought for the world and won, even on more than one occasion, and so, however wrong it may have been, you couldn’t dare utter a word.

It was still too soon when Wayne Munson touched his nephew’s missing persons poster at Hawkins High, but Dustin was more brave than anyone else and stepped forward. The rest of you watched with grief-stricken hearts as he stood up for one of his best friends and role models, and while you couldn’t say everything that Dustin did because the words wouldn’t stop getting caught in your throat, everyone else did give Eddie’s poor uncle the reassurance that his nephew was, in fact, innocent, and was, unfortunately, a hero.

It was still too soon when the hospital rang Steve Harrington’s house to let Lucas Sinclair know that Max Mayfield was now allowed to have visitors, but you all piled into Steve’s BMW anyway and rushed to the hospital. Steve broke several traffic violations and there were so many people in his car that you were genuinely shocked you could all fit, but none of that mattered. It was almost as if your chance to see her would be gone if you were even a fraction of a second too late, and none of you were willing to take that chance.

Despite how quickly you all bombarded into the hospital and into Max’s room, your feet never once hit the ground. You were walking on air, somewhere far above the earth that was dreamy and made your head spin, and all of that crashed and burned the second that Max’s mother opened the door.

The severity of your situation was so dark, so desolate that it took Steve Harrington’s hand squeezing the life out of yours and the declarations of exclamatory guilt coming from his lips to get you to finally adjust to how things would have to be from now on. The crushing weight of it all brought bile to your throat, and you subconsciously returned Steve’s death grip on your fingers.

“She relied on me.” You can hear Steve talking, you can still feel him right next to you, but you’re still floating. You’re still trapped in some kind of daze, and his words only make your chest ache with loss. “She relied on me, and I let this… I didn’t do anything to stop it. I promised her I’d make sure she’d be okay. I promised her that she would make it out of this.”

The pain and guilt of Steve’s voice goes right to your gut, making you feel more nauseous than the chemical scent of the hospital ever had, and dizziness overtakes your body despite the fact that you’ve been sitting entirely still.

Even in his current state, your boyfriend takes notice of the way your palms grow more shaky and rigid. By habit, he turns to direct his gaze towards you – always more concerned about anyone other than himself – and you have one small moment of eye-contact, a glistening of pain and anxiety and understanding between the two of you, before a single tear escapes the confines of Steve’s pretty brown eyes and he panics.

His stare widens impossibly further and he’s too quick to turn away, to shut down anything that might follow afterward. His head shoots away, focus lingering on some wilting bushes that are to his left – any scene without you is suddenly of intense interest – and gradually his body shifts away as well, his knees no longer parallel to your own. A gap is left on the concrete stairs between you, and just the sight of it makes you feel colder than you did when the unrelenting wind previously froze you to the bone. The gap doesn’t just freeze your bones, it erodes them too.

Steve takes what you can only assume to be an attempted deep breath, but he seems to be too forceful and instead lets out a strained half-gasp, half-cough. Sniffles and the sound of poorly restrained tears ring throughout you like a church bell, and you snap out of your stupor as your protective nature kicks into overdrive. You want nothing more than to whisper your mantras of love and reassurance to him, a hand snaking up to groundingly, softly, curl the delicate hairs on the back of his neck around your fingertips, but you hesitate. Again.

“You can… uh, go back inside now,” Steve says, so quiet that a ladybug landing on a four leaf clover would have been an explosion in comparison. The only reason you hear him at all is because the breeze carries his voice over to you like one of the gruesomely thoughtful dead mice a beloved pet cat would leave on your doorstep at midnight.

In another situation, you may have laughed out loud at his suggestion, but you know the significance of this moment. You know that things are delicate, as is Steve’s relationship with emotions, so you settle for subtlety, a choice that you’re hoping lets him know that you aren’t trying to be pushy, you aren’t trying to push him to the point of driving him away. Truthfully, the very last thing that you wanted to do was leave him, and you hoped with everything in your soul that he felt the same.

“I could,” you say, voice soft and matching his from before, quiet enough to be spoken between the two of you only – not even the swaying oak tree nearby can hear the words exchanged among you like a sacred secret. “But I’d rather be here with you.”

Your carefully chosen words imply more, other things you wanted to tell him on the tip of your tongue – I know you need me, I want to be here now and always, I want to be the one you go to forever, please let me. You’re all too aware that his previous offer for you to go back inside was more – that it was his way of letting you know that you can go back, back to the way things were before, when he hadn’t been vulnerable like this – and you hope that your answer speaks the same riddles he does, only in reverse.

Steve says nothing, which might be alarming any other time, but he hasn’t made any other covert suggestions about how you should be reacting to this situation, so you take that as the small victory that it is. His shoulders quivering, he still keeps his back to you, clearly not quite ready for facing you head on, and you ever-so-gently bring one of your hands to his back, hoping and praying that it isn’t too much too soon. His walls fall one at a time, castle crumbling brick by brick, and you hope that he’s let his guard down enough to finally let you comfort him. You’ll dig him out of the rubble and debris every damn time; you’ll be his knight in shining armor if he’ll let you.

The muscles in his back tense a little, making you hold your breath for what feels like ages, already expecting him to turn to you, a teary smile on his face as he tells you that he’s fine, he was just being silly, and aren’t you ready to go back inside now? like he’s said in the past. Like when you accidentally stumbled into the bathroom that first night, when he was wiping tears from his eyes in front of his aged, rusting sink. You couldn’t help thinking he was like that sink then, looking broken down and far too old for his true age, and the thought of seeing him like that again is enough to send a cold chill through your chest. Everyone knows what too much rust does to something – it corrodes and eats away at the source until nothing’s left – and it was with cruel irony that the very image of that happening to your ever-loving boyfriend made you feel like something was eating away at you.

You’re so in your head with worry that you barely notice that Steve hasn’t shrugged your hand away. You shake yourself out of your spiraling thoughts, away from the shock that fights for you to freeze up in uncertainty, and decide to test the waters. Your fingers trace small shapes into the material of his yellow sweatshirt like you’ve imagined doing thousands of times before, their movements a bit stiff and awkward but neither of you seem to care. Steve seems to relax into your touch, feeling his body loosen right under your palm in such a way that makes your heart partially melt – both at being capable of being able to do that for him and also because it was you that was calming him down, not someone else.

Even if it was only miniscule, to be the one to provide him a sense of comfort was an honor. Still, though, you don’t plan on moving away until he’s either all cried out or he asks you to back off. While you’d prefer the former, just this moment in itself is proof that you’ve made progress, and you’ll accept any kind of growth at this point, even if it means you don’t get the chance to hold him in your arms like you know he deserves. One step forward may be twenty steps away from that – your perfect fairytale ending where you can finally share the burdens that Steve has been carrying solo for far too long – but you’ll take ninety more days like this as long as Steve’s finally letting himself feel something.

A choked up sob escapes his throat, a noise that simultaneously relieves you and takes a chunk of your heart from your chest and stomps on it. If you really focus on the sound of him crying, on the way his body uneasily shakes, you begin to feel your own eyes prickle with the potential of unshed grief. Your first instinct is to shove it away, to try and be a rock for the utterly drained man next to you, and maybe it’s the exhaustion eating away at you post interdimensional battle – or maybe it’s just the heat of the moment – but, regardless, you let down the barriers and allow teardrops to cascade down your cheeks.

Steve doesn’t seem to notice you’re crying with him until he hears you loudly sniffle, and in his haste to check in on you, he forgets about his emotional hesitancy. His body shifts back towards you, a small sense of warmth crossing over your legs as his knee gently knocks into yours. His eyes scan carefully over your face, his eyelashes wet and clumped together and his eyelids slightly swollen and tinted pink.

“You’re even pretty when you cry,” you blurt out, the words tumbling from your lips before you can even think about having said them, and it takes a second for you to truly understand that you’ve spoken out loud rather than harmlessly thinking it to yourself.

You’re not sure how you expect Steve to react, but what you don’t anticipate is the soft and intrusive blush that begins to creep onto his cheeks. Gaze diverted to the ground, he takes in a long, deep inhale of air before quietly replying with a bashful, “Sorry about that.”

He doesn’t have to explain that, you know he’s talking about his vulnerability with you, and you instantly shake your head at him, the shine of the sun showcasing the half-dried and abandoned trek his tears fell from. With the burning light directly behind him, casting his brown hair a few shades lighter and leaving behind a residual warm yellow glow, he looks like a fallen god.

“Don’t be.” Your hand slinks away from his back and down to where his hand rests upon the concrete, and when you take it into yours, you feel the indents of the rock and gravel below in his palm. “Remember what I said before?”

“Yeah, yeah, you don’t have to scold me about it.” The sprinkle of playfulness in his tone takes you by surprise, and you’re relieved to spot the edge of his lips tilted up into the tiniest of smiles. Despite all the horrific events of the past few days, Steve Harrington can still have a smile on his face, and that makes you feel like maybe everything else is going to end up alright.

As abruptly as it was there, however, it’s gone, and your boyfriend’s voice is back to the quiet hoarseness of before.

“It’s just…” He trails off, features scrunched up as he appears to be struggling with words. Luckily for him, you know him better than the flavors of ice cream you had to painstakingly memorize when you were merely coworkers at Scoops Ahoy.

“Hard, I know,” you say, finishing his sentence for him. “But I’m happy you let me in. Even if it was only for a little while.”

Steve shifts to form eye contact with you, his own gaze softened as he drinks in your words, the gentleness of your hand, and everything about you. For the first time in his life, he finds true trust in another person. Your little smile holds a kind of affection that’s almost dizzying, the kind of dedication one only sees in those horribly cheesy romance movies he’ll never admit he likes watching with you, and he feels like being next to you, showing even the tiniest sliver of his pain to you, is like a baby being swaddled into a security blanket.

He stays silent, overwhelmed with his onslaught of adoration for you, and the two of you let the moment pass just like that. Hands entangled, gazes interlocked, and thoughts filled with nothing but one another, the comfortable silence filled with words unspoken but understood between you.

You know better than to bring up his guilty confessions from before. Your conversation has shifted and you’re afraid to backtrack, afraid that doing so might result in him hiding away from you again, so you decide to let it go. Even though the only thing you want to do is relieve his pain, reassure him by telling him that he’s taken on too much – that the best course of action anyone can take for Max is being patient, having hope, and kicking Vecna’s ass – but you let it go for now.

“Thank you.” Steve breaks though the quietude to beam at you, grin still small but never any dimmer, and practically offers his heart to you alongside it. He’s more than certain that you’ll be careful with it, especially after today. He thinks that maybe he can get used to this, to being vulnerable with you and to seeing your pretty smile afterward, and he’s almost looking forward to it. Almost, but not quite.

The way he looks at you, so full of love that it’s more obvious than the answer to some elementary math problem, is nearly enough to bring you to tears again. Never in your life had you imagined finding someone so soft, so genuine and caring for everyone around him, and your chest is beginning to ache as it longs to beat directly next to his.

Consumed by this feeling, you reach out with your free hand and grasp the sleeve of your sweater into fisted fingers before using the plush material to wipe away what’s left of his breakdown. Your motions linger as you shake your sleeve back into its proper place and scoot closer to him, index and middle fingers rising and tracing along his cheekbone. You can’t help but get lost for a moment, sidetracked and taken into another world as you closely examine the smoothness of his skin, the tiny little freckles that are sparsely scattered onto the side of his face. You already knew they were there, of course, but you never get tired of finding them. Sometimes you wish you could thank whoever it was that painted them there.

Steve’s breath is warm against your chin, causing your stare to automatically flicker to his. You’re not surprised when you find that he’s been looking at you all this time, absorbing this memory with you while he can make it, but it still makes your lips upturn nonetheless.

“You ready to head back in there yet?” he asks, voice low and a tad bit teasing as his ego undoubtedly takes a boost from how unintentionally hypnotized he’s made you. “Those shitheads are probably losing their minds right about now. Think we’ve left and they’ve lost their ride home or something.”

His joking tone is laced with worry; you both know that just talking about going in there means your minute of peace is over. You’ll be back into the throes of whatever new hell Hawkins endures next, back to living in uncertainty surrounding the safety of not only yourselves, but also your friends. It was true that people had been dying this whole time, the years being tainted with the blood of those like Barb who never really had a chance, but this was your first real taste of a different kind of loss. A kind of loss that’s more than just being sympathetic or upset for a few days; the kind of loss that’s felt in the absence of people at birthday parties, in the way that sometimes conversation seems normal until there’s a lull that should’ve been where someone else was cracking a joke. It’s the kind of loss that you can’t ignore because it’s felt everywhere, and just the minor glimpse of it that you’ve caught in the past few days has you feeling terrified.

You’d always naively thought that you and your friends were safe, untouchable, too relevant to the status of Hawkins and the world at large to be taken from this world. Eddie and Max had proven your beliefs wrong, and that meant that no one was really safe at all. Vecna could and would strike again, and it was only a matter of time before you’d be walking on eggshells and avoiding stepping on the vines of the Upside Down again.

A flash of yellow and a hand being offered out to you snaps you back into reality. You weren’t even aware Steve had gotten onto his feet and was no longer sitting next to you, no longer tracing his fingers on the delicate skin of the back of your palm, but you don’t get caught up in that.

Instead, you accept your boyfriend’s outstretched hold and let him help you to your feet. Your legs are wobbly, halfway numbed from lack of movement, but Steve’s right there by your side, iron grip on your hand like he’s seconds away from rushing forward to catch you, if necessary. You don’t need it this time – your body comes back to life quite quickly, leaving you with legs again in replacement of the jelly-like limbs you had prior – but something in the gleam of his eyes and the sureness of his hold tells you that he’ll be there to catch you next time and the time after that too.

You give his hand a small squeeze, noticeable enough to act as the okay to start heading back inside, and when he squeezes back, you know that you’ve got one another. Both physically and emotionally. The next move from Vecna is inevitable, but you feel a little more certain about things like this, fingers intertwined and with souls that you chose to be twisted together. When misfortune strikes again, Steve will be there to hold you close, and you’ll be more than willing to do the same for him. You know there’s years of trauma and pain that he hasn’t shown you, hasn’t yet informed you of, and you look forward to the days when he decides to open up. As long as he keeps letting you wipe the residue of his tears away with your sweater sleeves, of course.

#stranger things fic #stranger things #stranger things four #stranger things 4 #st #st4 #steve harrington fic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington headcanon #steve harrington headcanons #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff #lovely requests #dear anons

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softggh0ul · 4 months

Text

new years appreciation post!!!

sorry if there are any grammar errors wrote this last night but forgot to post it

i only came on tumblr to read ppl's work, cuz one day i was bored and wattpad doesnt have that many good fics lol, so i came here. saw many amazing fics of ppl, that i really enjoyed. tbh the only reason i started to write was cuz i was bored 😭😭💀 like dawg im not lying, just woke up one day and was like "hmm let me write smth fr"😭😭 and thats what i did, i was like i'll delete it if it doesnt get many notes or smth

@gildedkrone mr vine boom!!! you were one my first moots i think, bro i remember i was on tiktok, suddenly i get the notifaction that you followed me back, first thought that came to my head was "he's deff drunk cuz why did he just follow me back??" 😭 until you came in my inbox and told me to post the price drabble, you were the first person to encourage my silly writing. ive prob gotten this far cuz of you yk. ive always liked the stuff you wrote they are just so yummy! not to mention you are a very sweet and funny person, must say i really enjoy talking to you!! wish you all the luck this year and hope we grow closer mwah mwah

@dilfverz yoruuuuu!!! really really like your writing, its just sooo gooood. i was shocked to see you had followed me back, like i didnt get why someone as cool as you followed ME back 😭😭, tho i am glad we became moots, youre a fun person to talk to, i like your humor, always got me laughing, even tho i do get hella awkward sometimes lol 😭💀wish you all the luck this year and hope we grow closer mwah mwah!!

@seveett vincent!! my dear pooper trooper! you are a funny nd kind person, still will call you weird for picking up your cats with them damn grippers 😭💀. i didnt believe it at first when you followed me back, i again thought it was some silly glitch nd tumblr is playing with me lol, but it wasn't lol, and im glad!! and since im being nice i will be giving your dogs back, cant seem to find the emoji on this damn pc but anyways. wish you all the luck this year and hope we grow closer mwah mwah!!

@bonesnmore mr green alien!!! first of all i find your green alien cute nd silly, i love it smm!! ive always enjoyed your work, and to see you follow me back was just like WOAHHH!!!!, since i didnt expect it at all 😭 ( i never do), we dont interact that that much but youre always so sweet when we do, wish you all the luck this year and hope we grow closer mwah mwah!!

@ccreekside creek!! my partner in crime!! if chaos was a person it would be you 😭😭, you are a very funny person, love the fake fights that you start! you are a very sweet person too, i love going in your inbox to say random stuff or what not, not to mention your writing is sooo good!!! remember when you need to bully someone just call me i'll be there in matter of seconds!! wish you all the luck this year and hope we grow closer mwah mwah!!

@gazmialmagemela embry!!!!! you are a very funny and kind person, i always love interacting with you, the down bad shit you say about characters is sooo funny😭💀😭😭, makes me laugh so hard, also your writing is sooo yummyyy!!! like dayummmm!! always has me acting up frrrr, im your 1 supporter frrrrrrr you are also someone that can bring a sense of comfort to someone! wish you all the luck this year and hope we grow closer mwah mwah!!

@agoofyannoyancetolaw hiiiii!! you seem like a really kind and funny person, but yk im always so scared to interact with my moots 😭😭 i do hope we interact more this year, i truly love your writing especially your graves fics they are so good broo like dayummm. YOU NEED MORE RECOGNITION FRRR!! wish you all the luck this year and hope we grow closer mwah mwah!!

@colt-redfield colt!!! i was happy to see you had followed me, you seem like such a funny person, still confused as to who yer married to but i'll figure it out soon enough 😭😭 must say i really love your writing its always so good bro!! wish you all the luck this year and hope we grow closer mwah mwah!!

@miguel-owhora(i thought i had smth abt you but didnt 😭😭)anyways mr tree (calling you tht rn cuz yer 6 Ft FUCKIN 5) you give off such older brother vibes tbh 😭😭 out here giving advice and everything yet being mean to creek and me😒 . also not to mention that like when smth annoys you, you just say it yk, you like to make shit clear when its needed and i find that admirable lol , also like the way you write miguel like alot ! wish you all the luck this year and hope we grow closer mwah mwah!!

this is to my moots who i barley or don't interact with lol; you guys seem like nice and cool ppl, i can never bring myself to interact first most of the time since i'm awkward bro 😭😭so my apologies for that lol, hope we do get to interact this year, wish all of you the best of luck this year, may all your wishes come true!!! mwah mwah!!

@astroknottt @kyoscrayons @cosmicalwalrus @transi1vanianhunger @mlm-cowboys @milky--away @batfleshh @prettyboyformasks @luci4theminorannoyance @theyluvvmeesblog @demovamp @yourftmfriend @y-yearning @amansabastris @malewh0re @planetrhythm @arthurmorgansballsack @kylesgarrick

(hope i didn't miss anyone bro)

sorry if i kept saying the same things over nd over again lol 😭🙏

#✧.*ghoul’s note #✧.*moot's #rahhh

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delcakoo · 9 months

Text

i’m sure most ppl expected this so i’m not gonna make a big deal out of it but!! yes i am going on hiatus for an unspecified amount of time.

it’s honestly quite simple, i’ve just been losing interest in most aspects of kpop aside from the music, which makes writing for it a lot harder than before. i also dealt with a lot of burn out for months and still forced myself to write which only made it worse. lastly, i’m an executive of two clubs at my school this year on top of all my classes, so finding time to write would be even worse than it was before :’) !

YEAh that’s kinda it! for now my works will stay up, moots can dm me for my disc/spotify!! even if we’ve barely spoken pspsps i wanna stalk ur music cmere 🤲 a special shout out to my emoji anons too, you’re all amazing people ilysm, especially those that have been stuck with me for so long <3 (u know who u are!!)

i’ll try and check in here every so often to chat, esp if a new comeback for enha/txt happens!! love u guys and stay safe <3 you may send an ask if u have any questions!

extra stuff i wanna say to moots below! (it’s all word vomits i’m sorry)

RAVEN. MY WIFEY. my BELOVED blr wont let me tag u but you already know i adore u sm playing roblox with u is so fun even if that one banana game was kinda ass!! 💖 thank u for being so so sweet when putting up with me all the time and raising our fav corgi daughter with sm love <3 i hope u get more confidence in ur writing because your fics are always so creative and well written, and in yourself too bc a certain mf thats name starts with J and ends with N is MISSING OUT. 🙄🙄 ok im still gna be annoying u all the time so. bye ig….. smooches

@seongclb katto u deserve an award for putting up with me in dms ilysm 😞 watching the promised neverland together brought me so much joy and i still have a ss of you calling gilda a tractor ok i love u!!!! i would read your fics all day any day u are so talented and ur photography skills are amazing, i hope we get to keep in touch WE SHOULD FIND ANOTHER SHOW TO WATCH TGTHER !!!!! i need to fix your lack of anime knowledge ‼️ PLS KEEP WRITING AS WELL ENHABLR NEEDS U!!!!

@soov reirei my gf i aspire to be as confident and funny as you, you’re literal sunshine and always make my day better even with just one interaction <3 thank u for being so welcoming my first days in walmart enha and raising sushiwon with me!! as well as entertaining me by dying in genshin every 3 seconds <3 (WE NEED TO PLAY AGAIN) oh and KEEP WRITING BB. i will rise from THE DEAD WHEN IT COMES OUT OK U CAN DO THIS ML!!

@haknom kangaroo karaoke keys we may have had only a few convos but they were all so fun like PLAYING BRAWL STARS WAS HILARIOUS we ate the house down in duo showdown idc. and beta reading ur fics was such a treat esp while watching u plan new smaus every other day 🫶 also your music taste is MUWAH gimme some more recs pspsps !!! KEEP WRITING OKKK?!

@kynrki kimmy kimmy kim one of my first ever moots <3 your writing is always such a joy to read and your energy is amazing, thank you for giving me a chance when i was too shy to ask anyone else to be moots LMAO 🫶 plsplss keep writing you’re so gifted and deserve the whole world LOVEE UU

@bitehee cavvy my big sibling :((( i love u sm kshsdknd its been a while but i really hope everything has been well since you moved and you’re still being as cool as ever <3 im gonna replay a pokemon game in ur honor perhaps mystery dungeon 👁️ ? anyway i look up to u and think u are so cool, one of my fav hee stans ever ever!!! remember u have my disc if u ever wanna chat 🫂 !!!

@sunoksunny sunny <3 my other gf. i remember our first vc u had this goofy pfp i cant remember what it was but like u are so easy to talk to and funny?! and PRETTY??? your fits are always stunning and your singing is beautiful ugh the whole package fr… and. we need. to play. genshin!!! I REDOWNLOADED IT FOR U OK WE WILL DISCUSS THIS SOON!! ILY

@slytherinshua ZANNY. u are so easy to talk to we match each others energy so perfectly?!? I HOPE U AND TUALHA CONTINUE BEING THE COOLEST EVER and ur writing is top tier so pls keep going‼️ thank u for being so sweet to me as another one of my very first moots i appreciate u sm <3333

@flwrshee riri !!! we haven’t even been moots for long but i had to add u in here because u need to know that ILYSM. you’re like an adorable energetic little sister that always makes me smile T-T thank you for taking time out of your day to reblog my fics with so much sweet feedback and i wish u the absolute best always!! if u ever need anything pls dm me on disc i would love to chat with u more, and make sure to keep writing bc u have SO much talent!!!!

@wonieleles sia SIA i genuinely miss talking to u sm i NEED to come back to walmart enha :(( we don’t talk much besides our little interactions in the server but each time you make me smile. you’re so so smart and admirable, i hope you keep up the hard work bc i know you’ll go so far and HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE!! you’re so beautiful okay ily 😞🫶

@sultrybaby kel 😭😭😭💖💖 you’ve literally been a day one THANK YOU for always checking in on me even during your ridiculous NONSTOP EXAMS. 💀 another one of my big siblings on here fr you are such a real one and i care for u sm!!! i hope everything has been well for u?! pls feel free to message me for anything okay <3 I LOVE U SM thank u for sticking with me all this time 🫂🫂

i have so many moots so i can’t write smthn for everyone but i love u all okay <3 AGAIN if u wanna keep in touch thru spotify or discord dm me muwah

#delcakoo #so anyways… uh who watched the barbie movie!

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coffeebanana · 10 months

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How would you recommend interacting with a writer. If a story wasn't to your taste, or left you unsatisfied. But you still want to encourage, the writer. And show gratitude for the free entertainment?

Hi anon!

The short answer is, a simple "thanks for the fic!" or "thanks for sharing!" or even a few emojis will often suffice. You really don't have to let the writer know what you didn't like. At the end of the day, they're not writing the fic for you, and obiously not every story is going to satisfy everyone the same way--otherwise we'd all be the same and that would be a horrendously boring world to live in.

The long answer is probably unecessary, but I like to procrastinate on my WIPs talk 😂

There's a format of commenting that goes a little like this: "i don't normally like [X ship, X trope, the way X acts in canon, etc...], but i love the way you do it!!" And honestly I myself have used that before--mostly for tropes, though possibly for some ships as well. And on the surface, that's reads as a compliment. Personally, when ppl leave me that sort of comment, I'll usually interpret it as a compliment too--unless they're full on bashing the thing I love (which sometimes happens with people criticizing canon). And I do think it's INTENDED as a compliment. (That's how I've meant it, when I used it, so I do try my best to also interpret others in good faith.)

But it can also read as "I don't like this thing that you really like and I felt the need to tell you that." Honestly, I didn't even realize it would come across that way until I saw someone else point it out. And then...yeah, I started to notice the fics I get it on more (A lot lot lot of my ladrien fics, lmao.)

So I'm at a weird cross roads where I try not to use that anymore--unless it's with someone I'm fairly sure will understand how I mean it?because sometimes you do have more of a rapport with certain ppl and they'll understand what you mean--but I also don't want to say it's 100% a bad thing to say. I really do understand the intent.

Anyways, my point in bringing that up is that you never don't know what seemingly innocent "this wasn't quite to my taste" comment is going to read as an insult. And so if you really DO want to encourage said writer, I'd recommend sticking to the positives.

Another big thing that's important to me personally is: don't lie.

People have a tendancy to...I don't want to say be disingenuous, but certainly to exaggerate at times on the internet. You see that in the SCREAMING CRYING EATING GLASS types comments. And those are USUALLY sincere in the way that the emotions they convey are sincere. We as a society understand they're not literally eating glass but that they're in agony because the angst in the fic was so good and they want more. But then--something I've noticed--that sort of lingo has a way of slipping into a default response of sorts. And sometimes that makes me question if people really mean it?

This second thing is probably more of a personal thing than a response to your question, but since it's something I've been thinking about lately I hope you don't mind that I brought it up too. I really don't want people to lie to me about my writing.

Not even if it's "to be nice".

Maybe this is in part because I myself find it...difficult to be insincere with ppl, but I don't want false compliments--that's something I tell my friends too. If I write a trope or pairing you don't like? There's never any pressure to read it. I don't expect comments or kudos from anyone. And I'm not someone who in general believes people are insincere--that's not really fair to other people. But everyone has doubts at some point, and I feel like adding to that by straight up lying to make someone feel better just isn't the way to go? If you can't pick out a detail from the fic that you genuinely enjoyed, then maybe keep it to the simple "thanks for sharing!"

So, I guess the TLDR is: keep it short and sweet. keep it encouraging if that's really your goal. (and, if this ever happens to be in reference to something that I specifically have written? please don't feel like you HAVE to say anything at all)

Thanks for the ask!! Sorry I went on for so long LOL💜

#ask response #anonymous #long post

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daffi-990 · 4 months

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hiiii 🩵 i know i’m super late to this, but you know i’d love to hear any and everything you wanna share about rival firefighters 😍 i’m so obsessed with that wip 😅

It’s never too late to talk about Rival Firefighters! 😍

When I first started writing it I honestly didn’t think I’d love it so much. I also didn’t think it would turn into a multi chapter fic. I thought maaaaybe a lengthy one shot, but then the story kept unfolding the further I wrote and well .. here I am six out of ten chapters in 😅.

I’m gonna treat you to a little snippet of something from chapter seven. It’s rough and unedited cos that chapter is just a few jumbled scenes atm.

Hope it feeds you well 😘

“So uh, Rosalie said when mum gets here.” Buck points out. “Is- is Shannon coming?”

Eddie sits back in his chair and nods. “She is. We meet up at least twice a month as a family for breakfast.” He bites his lip nervously before asking “Is that okay?”

“Is that okay? Eddie, I’m the one who should be asking if it’s okay for me to be here. This really seems like a family thing and I can head home or- or wait in the car if—.”

“Buck.” Eddie cuts him off before his rambling can descend into a full spiral. “We wouldn’t have invited you if we didn’t want you here.”

His brown eyes are open and honest, and Buck could almost cry over the fact that both Chris and Eddie still want him around after all this time. Most people get tired of him and move on. Apparently not the Diaz’s.

Not yet anyway.

Buck silently tells his brain to shut up.

“Besides, it means you’ll finally get to meet Shannon.”

“Can’t believe we’ve known each other for two years, and I haven’t met her yet.” Buck leans across the table towards Eddie and whispers conspiratorially. “It might make one think that you’ve been trying to avoid us meeting.”

“Okay first of all,” Eddie points an accusatory finger at Buck, “the first year we knew each other, we weren’t exactly friends.”

“And secondly?”

Eddie drops his hand and slumps back in his seat. “I honestly don’t know how you two haven’t met yet.” He crosses his arms over his chest, not in a defensive way, more in a way to comfort himself. “Shannon travelled a lot for work for a while after her mum died. She kind of threw herself into her job to avoid grieving.”

tagging some ppl who might be interested 👀

@jamespearce9-1-1 @wildlife4life @wikiangela @fortheloveofbuddie @hippolotamus @watchyourbuck @jesuisici33 @disasterbuckdiaz @spotsandsocks

#daffi writes #fic: stuck now so long we just got the start wrong #rival firefighters fic #buddie wip #daffi gets mail #I was just as shocked as you guys probably are that Shannon and Buck haven’t met yet 😅

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love-toxin · 1 year

Text

remains of the day - e.m (corpse bride au)

a/n: trust me to tease this fic at halloween and not finish it until january LOL (also this is just vol I unless ppl want more!)

plot: the misfortune of Hawkins has left the town destitute, and your family in financial ruin. what better way to remedy that than to marry off their one and only daughter to the richest man in town? there's only one problem....your heart really isn't in it, and neither is your husband-to-be's. but a little practice of your vows to soothe those woes won't exactly give you the courage you were hoping for.

cws: corpse bride au, emily!eddie, victor!f!angelface, victoria!steve, major character death, descriptions of gore/rot, marriages and dowries, jealousy on both sides, a hint at eddie's abandonment issues/fears of rejection, premarital hand-holding, twinges of unrequited love.

word count: 2.4k

"With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.

Your cup will never empty, for I shall be your wine.

With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.

With this ring, I ask you to be mine."

How hard could those vows truly be? And yet you can't get your head around them–no matter how easily they come to mind, they won't fall from your lips properly, despite how many times you've tried.

And that rehearsal….abysmal. You're shocked that Steve even stuck around, that soft smile never leaving his face as he watched you butcher every word of every line of your vows. He deserves better than you, and considering what you've heard through the grapevine (and the town crier, of course) there's another woman that's held his attention for awhile now anyways. Maybe the only reason he stayed for you was because he was picturing her the whole time, and that thought itself makes you want to lie down in the snow under this tree and never get up.

Not that you wish his affections were turned towards you, instead–actually, you wish that she was in your place. Nancy would do better at this, the two of them would be happier, and you wouldn't have to suffer this horrible, continuous disappointment in yourself. It's only been going on for….well, for your whole life.

The wind whistling through the bare branches catches your ear, and almost sounds like the whisper of a voice, your head turning towards the sound but your eyes finding nothing but trees and snow. It's eerie out here; cold and dry, the breeze blowing wisps of your hair about your face, but the woods saying nothing more. It's too quiet, and those ill feelings draw up into your lungs until you manage to wave them away with a brush of your hand, your fingers coming to clasp around the collar of your dress. Too tight–it is all too suffocating. All of it. You dearly wish you could be left out of this whole affair, because you would much rather be a bystander than a participant.

"Oh, Lady Harrington!" You greet a tall, faceless tree trunk and tug on one of the branches, spindly and long in a way that much resembles your future mother-in-law's careful hand. "Call you mum? I'd be delighted to." Shake shake. The bark crackles under your fingertips and snaps, and you're left sighing and holding a twig in your palm that you quickly let drop to the ground.

"What's the point? I'll never be able to do this…" You wonder aloud, meandering about the roots of the massive tree you've taken up solace beneath, your mind wandering with an overflow of worries that all seem much less grand in the shadows of the forest. You find yourself humming the words of your vows to yourself, whispering them under your breath as if you weren't just talking to yourself loud enough for even the crier to hear. There's likely a running story about my madness by now, you think to yourself, the final words of your script coming out a bit louder as you kneel by one of the upturned roots of the tree, stretched out like a delicate finger on a thin hand. "With this ring…"

You produce the ring from the pocket of your dress, and smile somewhat depressedly as you slip it on to the mock hand of your lover.

"I ask you to be mine."

What a silly thought. You could almost swear the hand twitched, shuddered in anticipation, but it must be the wind–and the crows, you've only just noticed, are cawing rather aggressively at your back. A slight twinge of anxiety gnaws at you, you turn to look and search the hills for some animal creeping up-

"Ah-!" But when you do, your wrist is grabbed by something stronger–something that wasn't there before, something with your golden band on its finger that digs into your skin, and yanks you down like it's pulling you into the earth itself. It tugs, and tugs, and finally with a breath of air pumped into your lungs you scream and tear yourself away, the disembodied hand coming with you to clench harder around your wrist. With a violent shake it comes off and skitters across the icy ground, but before you can get to your feet, something even more terrifying happens before your very eyes.

The dirt cracks and crumbles from the spot where that branch had sat, pieces shattering away and stray roots snapping as something, a person-like something, rises from beneath the earth and stands towering and tall above you.

Lush, curly brown hair fans out over his shoulders, and a pair of warm brown eyes devoid of light greet your own. Pale, corpse-like skin gleams under the moonlight, but the exposed bone of his arm, legs, and the side of his neck betray that he really is just that–something dead, heart rotted away with cavernous holes in his body to show it.

He kneels before you, so close your body warmth leaches into his touch, and his lips make way for a toothy smile down at you as he caresses your face. His fingers don't feel at all like they look, leathery and branch-like….they're cool, but incomparably soft.

"I do."

He leans in for a kiss, eyes half-lidded with glory-filled glee, and the world finally blots out into complete darkness as you faint from the shock.

................................

"A new arrival!"

"Darling...I think she fainted. Darling?"

A poking, prodding sensation at your side isn't what roused you, you're sure it's the soft sounds of music and the foul, sickly-sweet smell of rot–but when your eyelids flutter open, and you shriek at the sight of that same young man accompanied by a skeleton standing over you, the two of them share a relieved grin rather than step back. He touches your face again, gentler this time, and moves to cup both your cheeks as he whispers your name. "There you are! My angel."

Now that you've got a better look, somehow you're…not as frightened, but still somewhat. Maybe it's that the lighting is better than the dimly-lit woods, and you're warmer wherever you've been laid down, but the curly-haired man doesn't evoke that same sense of terror now that he's holding you.

"You're even prettier than I imagined." He strokes that velvety skin of your cheek with his thumb, the compliment falling on attentive ears and eyes that just can't look away. But where in the world is your sense? Aside from being a kept woman, he's quite clearly dead, and you stagger to your feet a little too quickly just to get back and find some space between you two. Upon doing so, though, you bump into something solid–a bar counter, the woman on the other side pouring drinks like you're not even there. She just shoots you a grin, and a few of her teeth fall from her mouth into the frothy stein.

They all are, you realize. Every single person here is in varying states of decay, the crowd surrounding you and milling about the bar with curious stares and whispers at the newcomer. And with only one of those corpses feeling somewhat familiar, you huddle up next to the man's side to his giggling glee, his hand coming down to rest on your arm as you clutch at his for safety in the face of the dead. Two of which are raising their pints, and clanking them together with booming cries on their cracked lips.

"A toast to the newlyweds!"

"Newlyweds?"

You gape in shock, and he nods down at you. A smile stretches wide across his ghastly white face, and he pats your hand affectionately.

"In the woods! You said your vows so perfectly." He shows off the gleam of the golden band of his finger with a flourish, looking on with pride both at it and you. It looks good, and you selfishly gulp back some triumphant feelings at realizing you did it right–but you shake them right back off as reality hits you even harder in the face.

"I did?" Your voice a careful whisper, you move to let go of his arm, only to be caught and held there a touch longer by his frozen hands. "Oh, God…I did."

Stupid, stupid! How could you be so stupid?! Yet you can't really be blamed for it, how could you even think about directing those vows at a corpse by accident? It's not like your parents ever warned you about that…and your heart races when you remember. Your parents, your soon-to-be husband, and everyone else in the wedding party are probably wondering where in the hell you've disappeared to.

"Y-You don't understand! I have a fiancé," You try to shuffle backwards, finally having wrenched your hands away from your undead partner, and he leans in close without a worry or care etched into his face. Steve must be worried, he must be…maybe. Or maybe he's forgotten about you already. Your shoulders fall a little, but your gaze is commanded back up by his hands on your shoulders.

"Not a fiancé, silly. I'm your husband. Although…I guess we have yet to have the ceremony, so technically you're right." He cocks his head, hair swaying a little–you can spot a few spiders here and there, swinging from curl to curl as he speaks without taking notice to them.

"No, not–ugh, how can I explain this? I was just practicing! I-I didn't actually…I wasn't…" To push on his chest is like shoving a brick wall; he's unmoveable, his chest hollow but his bones strong as he stands over you. How can such lifeless brown eyes demand so much pity?

"But you…you said your vows? What's the problem?" You can't bear it, that well-meaning face falling into what is unmistakably a pained expression. His hurt feelings are betrayed by the crack in his voice, and if the circumstances weren't so strange, you'd be a bit miffed at having such a conversation in the midst of a nosy crowd. As if this were a normal situation, a marital squabble between the shoulders of bar patrons and not drunken cadavers. "...I thought you wanted to marry me?"

"You're dead," You say without thinking, and it cuts deep and harsh–shock and hurt flashes across his face, and he flinches back as if you had cut him with a knife. The bar, which once had been bustling with chatter and delight, grows quieter as their beloved friend whimpers with tears just about breaching his dead eyes.

"But I…we…you really don't want to marry me?"

"I don't even know your name." You mutter back, suddenly shy and quiet with an ill feeling churning about in your stomach. Guilt. This young….dead man has done nothing to you, and though neither have you to him, the unfortunate fact is that he is very clearly attached–even though you know next to nothing about one another.

"It's Eddie." He sniffles and drags his sleeve across his dripping nose, yet spits both syllables out as if it were a curse. Though, for most parts of the village, it is–you could recognize that name if it were said in your sleep, and had you not been clinging to him just a few minutes prior, it would rouse you from your slumber in panic and terror at the utterance of the most notoriously bloodthirsty psychopath of Hawkins.

"Eddie?" You blink owlishly at him. "Eddie from…from the accident?"

"I'm sure everyone's heard about me by now." He looks down, despondent. Unwell and miserable, resigned, not like the murderer you've heard whispering tales about in the alleyways and lifeless bars of your hometown….not like this lounge, that's speckled with colour and bursting at the seams with life long past lived. "But it's not true. I'm not like that. I'm not…"

"...Mean and scary?" As the words slip out, you tilt your head away to keep yourself from looking at him straight, though you can't avoid the gentle touches of Eddie's cool fingers as he splays them over the back of your hand. Holding it delicately like a paper fan, keeping it close to him but not indecently, he borrows it for a short while and perhaps it's merely to feel a bit of your human warmth. You'd like to think that, and yet the intensity of his gaze on your lips says otherwise.

"Do you think of me like that? You think I'm mean and scary?" Eddie leans on his side against the bartop, eyes never leaving you even though you struggle to pull your shoulders straight, as a lady should, and finally let his full form come into your vision instead of simply his feet.

"I…I'm frightened, yes. But not...of you."

Eddie sucks in a short, quiet breath, before letting it settle in a soft exhale as he pulls your hand towards him–a bit too excitedly, as it turns out, and he releases it with a lighthearted chuckle and scratches the back of his neck, his eyes widening for just a passing moment as he feels a bit of skin come loose and anxiously smoothes it back down before you notice. Sufficiently put back together as much as a corpse can be, Eddie takes a much more firm hold of your hand in his, and lets you feel the glimmering gold of the wedding band on his finger as he starts pulling you along away from the counter.

"Let's go somewhere we can be alone, then. I know a place." He says with a smile, and parts the crowd easily who are all too giddy to throw compliments and congratulations your way. They are….rather pleasant, for dead people.

However, you know you must grit your teeth and bear these niceties for the moment. Until you can find some path away from Eddie, and back up to the place where you belong, you will play along with his games. You will entertain him. Perhaps you may even earn his trust, and he will reveal to you a way out.

Above all, you will not be wed to a corpse, nor will you fall in love with one. That is part of your oath to Steve, and to your parents, and to everyone, to be faithful even when faced with such a morbid test of faith as this. You will do as you are told, all according to plan, whether or not Eddie makes this grim future seem more….palatable than the one that awaits you upstairs, the clock ticking away every second until the union you have been promised to.

#eddie munson #eddie's angelface #eddie munson x reader #corpse bride au #st 4 #stranger things #ellie writes #2k

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littlespacereader · 9 months

Note

Hello again!!

❗Tw: mention of diapers & accidents❗

I also have to wear diapers for medical reasons (stool incontinent bc of a birth defect) and I too view Nappies as a comfort item in my regression!

I think it's really cool of you to help others bring comfort to wearing diapers and "embarrassing" situations like accidents.

As someone who has to deal with accidents at least twice a week, that really means a lot!

So, I would love a story where a little one has an accident, in a public place/ event and their cg makes an "escape plan", like in an action movie, that helps the little one to feel less ashamed. Saying things like: "Okay, we have to secure the diaper bag, before entering the restroom, is sergeant Teddie equipped for the heist?" They make a game out of it, showing the little one that even in uncomfortable or embarrassing situations, one can have fun.

I'd also really like a scene of comfort, where the little one feels bad for "being yucky" and their cg assuring them that they are not. (It's something I struggle with a lot bc of my condition)

It's up to you to decide what kind of accident you decide the little one to have, whatever you're comfortable with! (I know many ppl find "No. 2 accidents" really triggering, so I completely understand if you don't want to write about that)

Feel free to use any of the pairings I listed in this ask of mine!

Ps. I forgot to mention that I'm uncomfortable with the terms M*mmy and D*ddy in the other ask, so I'm putting it here!

Thanks for reading, have a great day/ night!

For starters let me say how near and dear this request is to my heart. I can relate whole heartily to this. As someone who also uses diapers both as a medical necessity and as a comfort item to my regression this request hits home. So this ask really warms my heart. Thank you for being so open with this request @dino-boyo-agere 💞

It’s extremely embarrassing difficult having an accident in public. Age Regression isn’t a widely known thing and the fear of someone taking it for something like a kink is common. Plenty of insecurity and disgust runs through us when accident happen. Why I’m so adamant about writing these scenarios is to shed a light to those who don’t know and more importantly to show Littles alike that it’s okay. You’re regression is your own. Wearing diapers or not doesn’t make you more or less of a Regressor. Wearing and using diapers is okay! You’re perfectly valid and I’m here for you as a fellow Little who wear diapers herself. Accident happen but it doesn’t make you gross. You’re a beautiful Regressor, padded or not💞💞💞

With that little affirmation of love to my fellow padded Regressors please enjoy this fic💞

Thank you for this brilliant idea and for all the different pairings. I decided to go with Caregiver! Dean Winchester & Little! Sam Winchester! But I love the idea of a Caregiver being an older brother to their little brother Little so this immediately struck my heart!

I will be doing this fic as a number 2 accident which will be implied and not detailed in anyway in this story. I understand that it makes some uncomfortable so I understand if this fic is not for you. While it will be sfw in my eyes I can understand why it wouldn’t for others so hence there is no sfw tag added. With that I hope enjoy this fic!!💞

The Undercover Mission at the Fair

Caregiver! Dean Winchester & Little! Sam Winchester

Tags: diapers, accident, pacifier, stuffed animal moose

Nicknames: Sammy, buddy, kiddo, little one,

Sam and Dean arrived to a small town in Idaho hearing stories of a ghost killing those who walked home at night. Seemed simple enough for the brothers. But upon arriving, it was getting hard for Sam to keep a clear head and not regress.

Since arriving there were posters everywhere for the county fair. They had never been to a fair before! And this one was going to have rides, carnival games and as much junk food as a Little could want! The pictures looked so exciting!

The posters were in the police station, the hotel, the diner, EVERYWHERE! Sam, despite his best efforts was finding it difficult not to regress immediately. How could he resist?! It looked like so much fun!! And hey, maybe he took a poster on the way out of the police station to show Dean later…just maybe…

Regression was something Sam kept hidden from everyone for years. I mean how could he possibly tell someone like his father that he needed to regress every now and then.

No, never. He kept it to himself… College had been a God sent to Sam. There he was able to regress whenever he felt like it. He had stuffies, toys, diapers and even a pacifier all for himself. It was heaven on earth.

That was until Dean showed up on his dorms door step saying Dad was missing. Going back to his old hunter lifestyle and not regressing was a horrible combo. Shared motel rooms with Dean meant no privacy, which lead to disaster.

A nightmare in the middle of the night caused Sam to not only regress but wet the bed as well. But Dean was right there by his side to help him through it all. He didn’t question anything at all, not the diapers in his bag, not the stuffed moose he clung to and certainly not the pacifier he immediately gave Sam.

No, Dean stepped up like he had Sam’s whole life. He comforted him and helped him back to sleep eventually. After that day Dean became Sam’s Caregiver, making sure his little brother was always safe and comfortable when he regressed.

Fast forward to the present, in privacy of their hotel room Sam started to regress. The case dragged on today. Between talking to the police, to research at the local library, to interviewing victims families, Sam needed a break.

He grabbed his moose stuffie, got changed into a diaper and sat on the bed with his pacifier while watching tv. Suddenly an ad for the fair popped on and reminded him!

“Dean!” Sam said, pacifier dropping from his mouth as he rushed over to his suit jacket to grab the poster from his pocket.

“Yeah Sammy?” Dean was just walking out of the bathroom when Sam thrusted the poster into Dean’s hands.

“They’re having a fair here this weekend! See!” He pointed to the poster.

“Yeah I saw these posters around the town. What about it?”

Sam paused, “We have to go! When will we ever get this opportunity again?”

Dean smiled. As much as brother tried to keep his regression in the downlow this whole case, his careful Caregiver eyes spotted it right away. So it was no shocker to Dean when Sam brought him this carnival poster and asked if they could go.

“Sammy we’re in the middle of a case.” Dean tried to reason.

But Sam crossed his arms, “You’re the one who always says it can’t always be about hunts and that we need to take time for ourselves. Well this is time for ourselves!”

As much as Dean hated to admit it, Sam was right. He hasn’t regressed in a while which wasn’t health for him and Dean hasn’t had a break away from a hunt in a while. Maybe this fair was meant to be for them.

“You make a good point buddy,” Dean sat down on the motel bed and patted the spot next to him for Sam.

Despite being taller than his brother, Sam sat down and leaned forward to rest his head on his brother’s shoulder.

“So…can we go?” Sam asked again, giving his best puppy dog eyes.

Dean laughed, “Alright we can go.”

Before Dean could continue what he was saying Sam immediately jumped from the bed and was practically jumping around the room.

“Yes!!! Fair!!! Thank you thank you thank you Dean!! We’re gonna have so much fun!”

Dean smiled seeing Sammy’s excitement. He was going to add that they would go after the case was finished but he didn’t have the heart. Plus this case seemed to wrapping up soon anyway, why ruin the fun?

County fairs weren’t really something Dean and Sam got to experience when they were kids. Sure, there were plenty of times they arrived at a town with the fair happening. But John was so focused on whatever hunt he was on that by the time he had dealt with it, the fair had packed up leaving two disappointing Winchesters.

It’s no wonder Sam regresses with their interesting childhood… But Dean never minded Sam’s regression. Infact he encouraged Sam to regress when he was particularly stressed. Sam’s regression did as much healing for Dean as it did for Sam.

So, after a couple of days of dealing with this nighttime ghost, they arrived at the county fair. It was everything Sam had always dreamed it could be! They had tons of snacks! Crazy rides! And amazing prizes to be won! He didn’t know where to go first?!

Dean could see the wonder in Sam’s eyes. He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Where first Sammy? You lead the way.”

Where first indeed.

Dean followed Sam’s lead, walking behind the tall little with his backpack on. Inside was everything he would need as a Caregiver. Sam’s stuffed moose, extra change of clothes, diapers and supplies and his pacifier. He prided himself on being prepared for anything both as a hunter and as a Caregiver.

Sam insisted they start off with rides! The first one spun around so fast that they couldn’t even stand up. Sam was giggling the whole time but looking over at Dean showed he was not having a great time.

After that the two made their way to the “haunted house.” It was honestly laughable going through the haunted house with what the both of them face on the daily. But it didn’t stop Sam was grabbing Dean’s hand as they made their way through the house.

Despite towering over his big brother, he always felt safer when Dean was holding his hand and leading the way.

They hopped ride after ride after ride, and in between eating some junky snacks and candy the fair had to offer. Finally after a little while Dean made the executive decision to grab something sustainable to eat and sit down for a moment.

They found a nice table to themselves and set their belongings down. Sam needed a bit of a break after the constant running around they did his morning. So a nice shaded table was perfect. Plus he wasn’t used to eating so much junk, so getting something a little bit healthier would be better for the two of them.

“Alright Sammy, I’ll grab us something to eat. You stay here and relax a bit. Okay? Don’t leave this table.”

Sam just nodded, focused on a clown that had walked past a couple of minutes ago. His stomach twinged a bit in pain. “D-Dean…”

Dean stopped a step away from the table. He turned around, “Yeah?”

“I think I’ll come with you instead.” He grabbed Dean’s backpack and jumped up to join him. The sudden movement caused his stomach to hurt again.

Dean looked in the direction Sam was just looking in. Something definitely spooked him since he went from his usual regressed happiness to anxious. Maybe it was that clown that’s been walking around? He took in the sight of his brother, one hand holding his stomach, the other gripping his backpack.

“Sammy, are you feeling okay?” Dean wasn’t sure if it was scared and holding himself or in pain.

“Yeah…yeah I’m fine.” Sam handed Dean his backpack back and followed his lead through the rows of food stands.

But his stomach hadn’t forgotten about him just yet. Another stabbing pain had him stopping in his tracks, holding his stomach and wincing. Maybe he could ask Dean for some medicine or to take him to the bathroom.

But when he looked up Dean was gone. Sam’s face went white as the ghost they just killed.

“Dean?” He looked around, “DEAN?!” He yelled. He was right next to him one second ago?! And now his tummy hurt and all he wanted was his brother, his caregiver, to make it all better.

Worst of all they were in public. He couldn’t have an accident with all these people around them?! There were crowds of people, or what felt like crowds, walking around him. He felt as though everyone’s eyes were on him, as if they all knew.

It was all so overwhelming. Tears started to sting the corner of his eyes as he wrapped both arms around his sore stomach.

“Sammy!”

Immediately Sam lifted his head and looked in the direction of Dean’s voice. There, only a couple feet away was Dean. Immediately Sam walked over and wrapped Dean into a hug, starting to crying into his shoulder.

Dean had only walked a few feet when he realized Sam was no longer behind him. He looked around for the tall Little but was blocked by a group of people. Once he made it away from them he could see Sam. He looked on the verge of a breakdown with his arms holding his stomach tightly and his head swiveling around to find Dean.

“It’s alright Sammy I’m here, I’m here buddy,” he rubbed Sam’s back soothingly.

When Sam all but launched himself into Dean’s arms, the Caregiver had a pretty good idea of what happened while the two were away. He sighed. He should’ve kept a closer eye on him, especially when he knew something was wrong. Especially when they haven’t been eating the healthiest today.

But now was not the time to regret anything. Right now he had to get him somewhere discreet enough to get changed. But he knew Sam would rather curl up into a ball than to start walking towards the bathrooms.

He needed to get Sam changed and he didn’t want him to be more embarrassed than he already was….a challenge indeed. But this is Dean we’re talking about, he always knows how to take good care of his little brother. That’s when an idea popped into his head.

Once Sam seemed to settle from crying Dean pulled away and wiped his tears away, “Its okay Sammy, it’s okay. I’m so sorry I lost you there for a second. Truth is…I was checking to see if we were being spied on.”

That started to peak Sam interest away from the accident or almost losing Dean. “Spied on?”

“That’s right Sammy. The intel I got this morning said that we might be spied on while at the fair here. Apparently they only send their top agents on a mission such as this one, which is why we were assigned to this job. Now Agent S, before we make our way to our mission’s checkpoint do we have the equipment we need?”

Sam started to get into the little game Dean was playing. A small smile started to appear on his face seeing Dean become over dramatic with their “secret mission”. He started to worry less about the accident and more about their game. “What equipment do we need?”

“Well we first need my backpack but I can’t find it anywhere! Have you seen it? Where could it have gone to?!” Dean said turning around to look for it when it was strapped to his back the entire time. Sam started giggling.

Dean turned around overly dramatic again, “Is something funny Agent S?”

“You’re wearing the backpack Agent D!”

“I’m- OH! Of course I am! There it is! Great job Agent S!” Dean praised, ruffling Sam’s hair a bit. “Now with our first item secured we only need one more thing before we make our way to the checkpoint, and that’s Agent M.”

Sam looked confused, “Agent M? Who’s Agent M?”

Dean opened the backpack and picked up Sam’s moose stuffed animal. “Agent M of course!”

Sam’s face started to blush a little. He didn’t normally walk around with Moosy in public. But he desperately wanted him right now.

Thankfully Dean had a quickly solution for that problem too, “But Agent M is really really undercover, so if anyone asks you where you got him, say you won him in a carnival game. That way we don’t blow his cover.” Dean winked.

It was the perfect excuse. There were plenty of people walking around with stuffed animals in hand from carnival games. He would fit in just fine with his moose. So with that Sam took his moose stuffie. He had to admit, having him close really started to help.

“Alright Agent S, Agent M, let’s go to the mission checkpoint,” Dean took Sam hand in his as they walked through the crowds to find a restroom.

Sam, despite being taller than Dean, stayed hidden behind him with every step they took. Anytime anyone walked even a little too close to the two of them Sam ducked his head near Dean.

Thankfully there was a restroom nearby. Dean smiled and squeezed Sam’s hand in his. “There we go Agent S! There’s our mission checkpoint. We made it! Are you and Agent M doing okay?”

But Dean could see despite their fun little game waking to the restroom, the toll of the accident was weighing heavily on Sam with every step he took.

He stopped and looked up at Dean fighting tears that threatened to spill, “It’s okay Dean. I can go in and get changed myself. I don’t want you to have to deal with this…with….a number 2.”

Sam went to grab the backpack from Dean’s shoulder but he immediately stopped him. “Wow wow wow, that is not happening. Do you think I wanted to be your Caregiver so I could do half the job and call it a day?”

Sam looked away. Tears started to roll down his eyes as he whispered, “You shouldn’t have to deal with this Dean. It’s gross, I’m gross.” At the admission, Sam started to cry a bit.

But Dean quietly swooped in. He pulled him in and held him in a tight hug for a moment. After he wiped the tears away, “Don’t you dare say that about yourself. You are not gross at all! It’s normal for little ones to have accident and you’re no different. I don’t have to deal with this, I want to Sammy. I’ve always been here for you and I’m not stopping now.”

He held his hand out for Sam to take again. “We have a mission to complete Agent. Not a solo mission, but a co-op mission. I can’t do it without you Agent S.”

Sam looked at Dean sincerely. He truly meant every word. Despite everything he never saw him differently, he still saw him as his little brother. So with a little hesitancy Sam took Dean’s hand in his own.

“After this I say we give you a little bit of medicine, rest a little whole and then take on a few carnival games. What do you think?”

Sam just nodded, still repeating what Dean had said to him in his head. After a moment he spoke again.

“I’m not gross?” Sam asked softly.

“Nope, never.” Dean replied, as they started walking into the bathroom. “The only way you would be gross is if you started saying Smart cars were cooler than Baby.”

Sam smiled. “What?! Why would I think Smart cars were cooler than the Impala?”

“I don’t know. But if you started saying that it was cooler than the Impala, well I’d have to disown you and call you gross.” Dean playfully shrugged.

Sam laughed. “I don’t think I can fit in a Smart car.”

Dean laughed as well. “I don’t think you can either.”

The two laughed as the entered the bathroom. After a quick changed followed by a bit of comfort, the accident was long and forgotten. The day went on uninterrupted after that with Dean winning Sam prizes at the fair and the two ending the night watching the fireworks display.

The fair had been everything they always dreamed it would be.

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