#anyway i used to work as a culinary instructor

[apomaro-mellow]

Wrong Number 2

Someone said they liked when authors put their super-specific jobs in fics so I hope ya like Steve havin a (kinda romanticized) past job of mine.

For the first time in his life, Steve felt like the stereotypical young person who was always glued to his phone. Every time it made a noise or vibrated, his arm shot out like lightning, hoping with every fiber of his being that it was the mystery number.

It had been about five days since he'd sent that first message and he'd been worried about their conversations being stale. But that wasn't an issue. The only times their talks lulled was when they went to bed.

And even that was after texting late into the night. Steve would watch the clock go from 9 to 10 and promise to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. And then it would be midnight and what was a few minutes after that? Then he'd look up and it would be 2 in the morning.

Texting this guy had become the highlight of Steve's days. To the point where he didn't even realize Friday had come until one of his students mentioned it.

Then, purely out of habit, he asked: "Any weekend plans?"

"I've got a soccer game", Zach answered.

"My parents are having date night", Belinda said.

And normally Steve himself would be thinking about going out and finding someone for the night. But the idea hadn't come to him for once. He knew why, but he didn't fully process it until he got home to Robin, who was in the middle of cooking breakfast for dinner it seemed.

Steve was in the middle of replying to a text sent during lunch.

(12:15) I just realized you know about my off the wall job (12:17) But I have no idea what your 9 to 5 is (12:18) Your legally required to tell me if ur famous (12:18) Not bc im a clout chaser (12:19) But bc I might not have a clue who you are

[4:13] Not famous. Don't worry. I'm a teacher.

(4:15) As a former student I apologize

Robin opened the cabinet, looking for pancake mix. “Are you and that girl still texting?”

“Me and the who?”, Steve looked up from his phone.

“That girl? I assume you're finally setting up a date for this weekend?"

"She-" Steve racked his brain for a good excuse. But it was hard to do when the person who knew him the most was staring right at him.

"Whatever flaws of hers you're about to make up, I'm gonna call bullshit because your phone hasn't stopped pinging for days." She started mixing the pancake batter.

Steve looked down at the words on his screen. The one flaw of this guy was that they couldn't meet in person. But maybe it was time to close the distance just a bit.

"She's shy. Might just text a bit more before she's ready."

[4:19] No need for sorries. All my kids are great. But that's probably because I teach their favorite class.

(4:21) Oooh their favorite? (4:21) It's gotta be something like art rite? (4:22) Or are you being a smart ass cuz you teach like calculus or something?

[4:23] I teach cooking 😛

(4:23) Oh shit. (4:24) You're actually the favorite

[4:25] Toldja. Hey quick question and then possibly many more questions.

(4:26) Go ooooon

[4:27] How would you feel about spending the night playing 20 questions? Like are you free tonight?

Eddie bit his lip as he looked at Steve's words. He had picked his shifts this weekend to make sure he had plenty of time to talk to Steve. Which meant he was in fact free tonight. He replied as such and Steve said he wanted a little time to take a shower and then he'd be ready.

And because he was a little shit, Eddie took advantage of him being away from his phone.

(4:35) Since you're in the shower, I'm taking the first question. Boxers or briefs?

[4:54] Cheater. And I prefer boxer briefs. My turn?

(4:55) Go for it

Eddie was curled up on his couch, tv low and in the background as he waited for Steve's question.

[4:55] What's your name?

(4:56) THATS your first question? (4:56) Wait we've been texting for days haven't you saved my number? (4:57) What do you have me as?

Steve bit his lip, wishing he could lie to this guy, but he couldn’t. Instead he sent a screenshot of his phone.

(4:59) Misty? That’s the name of the chick?

[5:00] Yeah. But I guess I should put your actual name now, right?

It was a gamble. But this guy already knew Steve’s name. And by this point they’d been texting for nearly a week. He just wanted to know his name. He pushed back the part of himself that said he needed to know.

(5:00) It's Eddie.

Eddie. The guy he'd been talking to was named Eddie. Eddie with the long curly hair and the chunky rings who threw axes for a living. He was a far cry from the soft girls he usually dated. Or the preppy guys he usually dated.

(5:02) Favorite bug?

The question threw Steve for a moment but he decided to humor him.

[5:04] Bees 🐝I like how fuzzy they are. And I like honey. [5:05] What rings do you have?

A couple minutes later, Eddie replied with an image. It was taken from above and showed his hands lying flat on a coffee table. Steve zoomed to make out the details of each ring. He was also able to see a watch and a couple of wristbands on him.

[5:08] How did you take that picture? With your mouth? 🦭

(5:09) Did you did you just compare me to a seal???

[5:09] What other animal catches things in their mouths?

'I can be an animal with my mouth'. Thankfully, Eddie's fingers weren't as fast as his brain and he didn't send that to Steve. Eddie had in fact put his phone in his mouth the take the picture, having a real 'no thoughts, head empty moment' when Steve asked about his rings.

Steve was letting his own mind wander as he gazed at the picture. Eddie's hands were...his hands were...well they were-

(5:10) Favorite youtuber?

The adoration of Eddie's hands were interrupted by Eddie himself as their question and answers continued. The picture continued as well. Steve sent pics of his favorite pair of shoes, his hair products, and of his neck when Eddie said he didn't believe he had all these moles.

Eddie had sent pictures of one arm, covered in tats, his acoustic guitar, and a super worn copy of Peter Pan.

The hour was growing late and both of them were feeling more bold but at the same time hesitant because it felt like they were close to crossing a line.

Needing an outside opinion, Eddie consulted with The Council (the discord server with his band mates) about whether or not he should shoot his shot. Gareth told him to go for it, what harm could it do? Grant said to do it because it could potentially be the funniest catfishing story. Jeff agreed that he should, if only because their guitarist getting murdered would be a great back story.

With their unanimous approval, Eddie decided to start actively flirting with Steve.

(8:37) Soooooo ya like jazz?

[8:38] I do actually. I really love the piano.

Okay, that one was just practice. Be smooth. Be suave. None of that was in Eddie's wheelhouse but thankfully nothing he said turned Steve away. He always seemed just as eager to reply back.

(9:10) What's your oldest piece of clothing?

Eddie was thinking of his own oldest article a t-shirt that had started out overgrown on his tiny eight year old body but he'd grown into and kept over the years. It was super faded but filled with the memory of the first time he spent more than a couple of days with his uncle.

[9:12] I'd show you, but I'm wearing them right now.

Steve had closed his bedroom door before sending the text. There wasn't anything scandalous but it seemed like it could very quickly veer into that territory. All Eddie had to do was ask. If he wanted to see them, Steve would show it.

'I would like to see it.'

(9:12) I would like to see it

Eddie knew it could be anything. Maybe a holey sock. Or maybe he also had a super faded t-shirt with deep sewn-in memories as well. Maybe he was wearing a class ring?

[9:14] image.jpeg

Eddie was treated (and goddamn what a treat it was) to Steve Harrington's bottom half, barely covered in shorts with a school's logo on them. Thick thighs covered in hair. And a bulge that was there. It was very there. Eddie couldn't overstate how there it was.

He palmed his own crotch before remembering he was looking at a guy's junk and about to jerk off to it in his living room. And he had yet to answer. What was the most respectful way to say 'humina humina humina-wolf whistle-awooga'?

(9:16) Are you trying to kill me Steve?

[9:17] Do you like it?

'Awooga.'

(9:18) ❤️‍🔥 🔥 🥵

Eddie tried to think of any other way to tell Steve how hot he made him but it felt like typing words just wasn't enough.

(9:19) Can I do something insane? (9:20) And feel free to ignore me if it's too much

Steve was lying in his bed, phone of his charger now. Nothing Eddie could do would be too much. He could knock on his door and he would let him in.

[9:21] Go ahead

A second after he sent that, Steve's phone started to ring. It was Eddie. He stared for about five seconds before picking up.

"Hey."

"Hey."

If possible, Steve melted more into his bed. Eddie's voice...he didn't know what he expected but it wasn't that. He said one word and Steve wanted to wrap himself in it.

"That was pretty naughty of you, sending me that pic. I could show up to your school."

"You'd be a few years too late. These are my oldest shorts, remember?"

"Tiniest shorts maybe."

Steve laughed and Eddie was on cloud nine. He was so lost in bliss, he miscalculated and fell off the couch.

"What was that?"

"I uh, I fell. Off my couch."

"Did you fall hard?"

Eddie beamed as he got up and turned off the tv. Now that he had his voice, all he wanted to hear was the man on the other line.

"Oh super hard."

Steve let out a sound from the back of his throat and he wondered if Eddie had heard it. It was honestly amazing how the smallest things got him going. Or maybe he was just that into Eddie.

"You still there Steve?"

....."Yeah. I'm still here."

Part 4

Tag Team (closed)

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#apo writes #stranger things #steddie #i wanted this out this past weekend #but had other things #anyway i used to work as a culinary instructor #it was for summer camps and after school programs #but my dream was to do it full time at a nice school #ohh the dreams we have in our youth

[phantom-0-writer]

*standing menacingly at the door* i made u something

anyways lol. i had a lot of school work and was really busy freaking out and stress studying for a singular test that was 4 questions and would be over in like an hour and then i proceeded to cry about it in my car for various reasons.

but yk what that means!

time for our irregular and unscheduled update of

Gotham Academy's Mentorship Program

this episode featuring a fan favorite: Duke Thomas (aka The Signal - but thats kind of irrelevant for this)

you were supposed to read that like it was from a '90s sitcom and the off screen crowd cheers rly loudly.

some house keeping updates: this scene happens in the beginning of the school year (going by the american system should be september) danny meets damian (and upsurges tim on the same day) around midterm which is around october and then the stuff with jason and damian's drawing happens around december. i kinda accidentally burned the irl timeline for anything dc first scene so now im just gonna do whatever i want.

anyways with out further ado:

table of contents

scene 04: after school activities for normal kids

Duke stood around the corner of the classroom awkwardly, wondering if he had made the right call. Sure the bats and the birds had a plethora of hands on deck any time, but most of them specialized as night time heros. Not to say that they were incompetent or anything, they were some of the most skilled and innovative people Duke had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Sure if anything happened, they could handle it, at least until Duke could slip away and show up as the Signal- Alfred and Bruce had assured him so much. But Duke couldn’t slip the guilt of busying away more of his time to after school activities when he could be patrolling or studying instead, 

But Duke had wanted to do something outside of those things, which was specifically why he had made the difficult decision to join a few clubs and after school activities. He could use a break from being surrounded by people who worked the vigilante life-style just to remember how to be a normal civilian. Let himself take a break from constantly be consumed by one case or another, one disaster or another, not being able to do enough no matter how much he tried or how much time he spent patrolling. 

Duke needed to feel grounded, like his feet were on the ground and he could press the brakes and smell the fragrance of life. Even if the fragrance was a forgotten pile of dog s-

“Alright,” The instructor for their culinary club started with a weird German accent that sounded really fake. “I am Herman. You can call me Chef or Chef Herman or just Chef. I will not bore you all with the boring introductions, and let's head right into the cooking, yes. On this paper here I made the partners for all of you to cook with for the rest of the year. If you have problem with it then quit.” 

This Herman guy seemed like quite the character, and was definitely not helping any of Duke’s previous anxieties. Many of Duke’s clubmates seem to think so too, sending their friends various looks. But no one spoke out, and instead shuffled to the front to look at the singular sheet of paper that would assign them their partners. Duke finally made it to the front and saw that he was paired with a Daniel Fenton at Station 7. 

Crossing his fingers that Daniel had at least only a half-rotten personality, Duke made his way over to station 7. The station was already prepped with an assortment of ingredients and cooking equipment. Duke had already set his stuff down claiming the seat closer to the exit (in case) when a lanky kid comes over, “Uh, your Duke Thomas?” He asks hesitantly looking back at the front counter the partner assignment sheet was. 

It took Duke an awkward second longer to realize that this kid was probably his partner. “Oh yeah I am.” He laughed apologetically, “You must be Daniel.” 

“Danny’s fine.” The boy smiled, absentmindedly brushing his messy black hair out of his face, his glacier blue looking at the equipment. Duke couldn’t help but feel like there was something off about Danny. Not in Gotham’s usual psycho-maniac-out-to-terrorizer-the-city-and-kill-innocent-people kind of off, more in a he’s not in sync with the rest of the world off. While Chef Herman explained the general structure of various types of kitchen and kitchen hierarchy that Duke was already familiar with, Duke tried to get a read on him. 

Weird did not mean threat, after all many of the Justice League- heck even the local Wayne/Batclan were pretty weird- and they (usually) didn’t mean any harm. It wouldn’t be fair of Duke to jump the horse like that. 

Deciding he should try to be friendly with him, Duke leaned over, “Is it just me or is Chef Herman’s accent totally fake?” he whispered. 

“Oh, Ancients,” Anciets? “I thought I was just going insane.” Danny sighed in relief with a small chuckle. There was a moment of silence between the two of them where no one said anything for longer than socially acceptable and Duke debated using his powers to see if he could find a clue or something. That seemed kinda invasive, though. 

When the Chef had started instructions on making today's recipe, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Danny helped Duke measure out the ingredients. “So,” Danny tried again, “What are you in for?” 

“What am I…” Duke repeated confused, 

Danny chuckled awkwardly, “Like why you joined the club.” 

Duke seriously needed to get his head in the present; this was getting embarrassing. “Oh.” He nodded in understanding, “I’ve always liked cooking,” Duke shrugged, “When I was little my parents and I would always cook together, and it was always one of my favorite things to do. And I’ve kinda always liked it, but I fell off of it for a while with school and stuff,” emphasis on the stuff “I thought joining a club could help me get back into it and get away from… everything.” That was a little more candid than Duke had planned on being with someone he had met quite literally a few minutes ago, but it felt good to have that out of his chest. The pleasant memories of his parents swimming in his mind. Mixing the dry ingredients, “Sorry that was kind of a lot.” Duke laughed genuinely this time. 

“Dude, no it’s actually so cool that you like to cook.” Danny said admiration was easy on his face, and Duke couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. 

“What about you, then?” 

“Ugh,” He groaned jokingly, “You can’t seriously be asking for my lame ass reason after you pulled out the flashbacks.” Danny whined, letting the oven preheat like Chef told them to. 

“C’mon, it’s only fair.” Duke played along, already ahead of the other groups. 

Danny sighed, “Promise you won’t laugh.” 

“Okay, it can’t be that bad.” Duke could already feel the smile cracking on his face. 

“It is.” Danny drawlled, “So I live in the dorms right, and I got to pull some strings and room with one of my friends from back home this year. And well, let’s just say my family has a bit of a reputation for causing problems, and the kitchen definitely wasn’t an exception. One time my dad tried to make some soup for my mom because she got sick.” Duke nodded approvingly, that was a sweet gesture, “It was all fun and games until the bomb squad had to show up and long story short we had to move.” 

“You’re joking.” Duke gaped at the bizarre story, but at Danny’s solemn expression, Duke couldn’t help but be appalled, “A bomb squad over soup.”

“My parents were never really heavy on lab safety,” Danny added, as if that explained everything, “But I burn one pot of water and maybe make a few extra-crispy eggs, and suddenly its all ‘Danny you’re not allowed in the kitchen unless you start taking actual classes’ and ‘Danny that's a biohazard’.” 

“You burned a pot of water.” Duke echoed, Danny nodded innocently, “Water doesn’t burn.”

“Well, maybe you’re just not trying hard enough.” Danny sneered, trying to crack an egg on the corner of the bowl only for all the shell to fall in the bowl and the yolk on the counter. 

“Somehow, I don’t think that’s true.” Duke said, taking the bowl from him and expertly cracking an egg single handedly. Danny looked on in awe. “You said you live in the dorms?” Duke asked easily. 

“Oh yeah, all of the non-local scholarship kids have to.” 

Before Duke could respond, a girl from the station in front of them whips her head around, “You said you’re here on a scholarship?” She asked almost oppressively. 

Danny just as taken aback as Duke felt, “Uh, yeah.” 

“Me, too. Have you heard anything about the Mentorship Program here? Apparently we all have to join.” The girl’s partner was looking between Duke and Danny confused, but returned to their cooking uninterested. 

“Oh, yeah. They make us all join.” Danny nodded. 

“I heard from some of the older kids, that no one actually gets picked for that. It’s just like a weird formality thing.” The girl spoke animatedly, “What department are you in?” 

“Applied physics and engineering design.” The oven beeps that it was ready but no one moved. 

The girl seemed to deflate that answer, “Oh, I’m doing culinary science.” And with that solid conclusionary statement, she turned around and got back to her work station. 

Danny blinked, processing what just happened and slowly turning to look at Duke for proof that just happened. But the second the both of them met each other’s eyes, they burst into a fit of silent laughter. 

Bent vunuralably over the table, trying to catch their breath, they were accosted by Chef Hermon. “The two of you are having a comedy club, not a cooking club.” Chef crossed his arms at the edge of the table. Duke was pretty sure he was trying to sold them, but the fake accent was making it hard to tell. 

Danny cleared his throat and striated up, “Sorry, Sir.” He apologized quickly. 

“Chef.” Hermon peered at them, his hat looking comically large and lopsided on his head now that Duke was getting a closer look. 

“Sorry, Chef.” Duke amended, trying to keep his cool. 

“Yes, finish cooking your cookies.” He nodded satisfied, leaving their station. 

“Okay so,” Duke tried to recount what the last thing they did was, but one look at Danny trying desperately to hold in his laugh had ruined all of Duke’s efforts as well. Barely managing to get their cookies in the oven, over Chef’s fake german accent and floppy oversized chef’s hat. 

“So scholarship for applied physics and engineering design, huh.” Duke recounted from earlier, impressed. 

“Yeah…” Danny trailed off embarrassed, “It sounds kinda snotty.” 

“Dude. That’s literally one of the hardest departments to get into, and the scholarship is no sneeze either. There’s no doubt you worked your butt off to get that.” Duke assured Danny as they sat in their stools waiting for the cookies to finish. 

“Thanks,” Danny smiled sheepishly. They sat in a much more comfortable silence now before Danny spoke again, “What grade are you in by the way?” 

“I’m in 10th. General studies for now, but I was thinking of doing medicine. You?” 

“I could totally see you as a hot-shot doctor.” Danny nodded approvingly, “11th. Technically, I’m your upperclassman then.” 

“Technically?” Duke asked.

“I mean, how old are you?” 

“15.” Duke supplied confused. 

“Me too. I skipped a grade in elementary school, so we’re actually the same age.” Danny explained, sheepishly. 

“Dude, you're actually way smart.” Duke gaped in awe. 

“Hey medicine isn’t a day walk either.” Danny nudged his arm playfully, “I’m glad the mentorship thing is just for show, though. Now that we’re upperclassmen, y’know. I would not want my hands full with some random rich kid.” 

Duke laughed, “Yeah, that definitely sounds like a lot of work.” 

Easily unfolding the conversation into various topics and interests Duke found that he didn’t mind that the cookies were burnt. Or that Danny was definitely weird. But in a good way. Duke was glad they met and would get to hang out and cook with their weird not-German Chef every week. And if Danny and Duke exchanged numbers and planned to hangout outside of club activities, then well who was going to stop them.

#a little fluff to make our day better #duke and danny #the world definitely needs more of them #they start off a little shaky but their bffs at the end #danny heard the chef's weird accent and thought it was bc of time travel shenanigans and decided it was just best not to comment on that #duke will def be rubbing his friendship with danny in the other bat's faces once he gets indoctrinated #jack blew up his house over chicken noodle soup and no one lets him live it down #Gotham Academy's Mentorship Program #dpxdc #dp x dc au #batpham #danny phantom #duke thomas #signal #phantom

[nodirectionhome-ao3]

hi, would love to hear more about chef Lily, please and thank you :)

Hi! Sure! Thanks for asking!

I initially started this for the Jilytober Masquarade, but didn't end up getting my act together before that deadline and then I just sort of...moved on. I don't know what I'm going to do with this idea now since I didn't get very far with it, but...maybe sometime this year I'll go back to it!

Anyway, without further ado, here's a Muggle AU Lily snippet:

Lily reduced the heat to low, watching as her brew simmered in its pot — its fragrance enveloping her in a warm wash of butter and flour. The rest of the world beyond her station meant nothing to Lily as she worked…the bustle and clamor of her classmates fading to a dull murmur while she hovered over her pot — fancying herself a potioneer of sorts, a mad witch with an epic concoction. She stirred in the milk as if it were some fantastical element, whisking away the lumps until the sauce thickened to perfection. She could feel the jealousy of her classmates bubbling around her as presentation time approached…knowing that her Béchamel Sauce was—as always—a work of art. Her confidence carried her through the rest of her practical lessons that afternoon, lifting her spirits to impossible new heights...until it was promptly crushed in the women’s lavatory. “That Evans girl is the fucking worst,” said a voice that Lily was sure belonged to Ellen Halloway — the snooty blonde girl from her pastry class who reminded Lily viscerally of her sister. “The instructors really think she’s God’s gift to the culinary world, don’t they?” From her hiding place in the stall, Lily heard several other girls snicker at that. “She thinks she’s so much better than us,” another girl—Tara Smith—chimed in. “Just because she doesn’t have a life outside of the kitchen, doesn’t mean the rest of us are the same…” More laughter. “Pathetic,” Moira Fraser spoke up. “So pathetic.” Sucking in a deep breath and collecting herself, Lily flushed the toilet and stepped out of the stall — holding her head high as she marched silently across the room towards where the girls were standing together near the sinks. “Excuse me,” Lily said with perfect politeness, stepping around her gossiping classmates and flicking on the nearest tap. She felt—rather than saw—the way the other girls shrank in response…all three of them tensing with horror at the sight of the object of their ire washing her hands so casually before them. Lily took her time washing and drying her hands, savoring in the feel of the awkwardness that sizzled in the room. “Lovely pastry lesson today, wasn’t it?” she asked pleasantly, turning to face her classmates. “Best of luck next time, Tara. You’ll learn how to work the oven eventually, if you really put your mind to it.” Tara just stared back at her mutely, and Lily smiled, patted her on the shoulder, and stepped past. A rush of satisfaction burned through her when she left the room — the door swinging shut too slowly to muffle the “Oh my God,” that followed her departure.

WIP Game!

#chef!Lily #wip game #obligatory disclaimer that I am not nor have ever been a culinary student #so i have truly no idea how any of that works!!!

[itsclydebitches]

Why do people get hung up on whether a gay person in media is a good or bad representation of them? I'm gay and I can tell you we aren't all the same? Being gay is our 1 common trait. So as long as they're gay then you've done it. Gay people can be kind, mean, racist, open, kinky, reserved, shy, outgoing, sexist, and literally anything else under the human experience.

Because I am perpetually hungry, let's tell a story about cookies.

You are a bright-eyed, optimistic, baker in the making. Your goal is to wow the world with your culinary skills, so of course you head to The Best Baking School for your degree. Over the course of your studies you learn how to perfect a thousand different cakes, an equal number of pies, and more versions of brownies than most would even assume exist. But cookies... oh, cookies are your passion! You can't wait to learn about the wealth of cookies you can make too. Then, sure enough, that part of your education finally arrives.

Funny thing is though, it's just chocolate chip.

Surely there's been some mistake? The cookie experience is vast and nuanced! Why in the world are your instructors — supposedly the best in the world — reducing cookies to a single class about baking chocolate chip and chocolate chip alone? Hell, why are cookies so sparse in the curriculum as a whole? You're never asked to bake them as a demonstration, or practice with them, and they're definitely not a given across everyone else's baking experience. Cakes, pies, and brownies... they're the default. Cookies are comparatively rare and when you do get to study them, everyone is super focused on the chocolate chip.

Then you graduate and head out into the world, only to find that pretty much everyone is as cookie-blind as your school. A few years back you never would have found cookies in the average grocery store and yeah, the fact that there's a cookie section now is great, but it's, uh... all chocolate chip! Many bakeries still don't carry cookies at all, but when they do it's - again - chocolate chip. Chocolate chip out in restaurants. Chocolate chip at the bake sale. Your friend invites you over and proudly presents a massive sweets tray that includes a single, sad looking, chocolate chip cookie. They beam at you in pride. Isn't it so great?

"Uh..." you say. "Well..."

Every once in a while someone will switch out milk chocolate for dark chocolate, or add nuts alongside chocolate chips. One bakery was even crazy enough to exclude chocolate chips entirely! Crazy according to the press, anyway. Because for years now you've been shaking your head, wondering what exactly is so progressive about realizing that sugar cookies exist. You've found other bakers interested in cookies and, by god, there are thousands. So many flavors! Gluten free and allergy conscious! Someone even made a sweets tray that was predominantly cookies, can you believe it? The problem is, almost none of them are mainstream. Your friend baking cookies out of their personal kitchen is doing fantastic work, but their baking doesn't have the impact that those grocery chains and established bakeries do. Their work isn't going to fix your school's curriculum. Too many people still think that cookies are exotic somehow. They're not the default. And when they do acknowledge their existence, it's chocolate chip over and over. Until one of them adds those nuts and suddenly the whole country is losing its mind about how inspired, creative, progressive their baking is. Meanwhile, you're ready to scream because that baker doesn't even know that something as "exotic" as a gingersnaps exist!

The worst part? Most of these cookies are... bad. Like they exist, yeah, but good god most don't taste good. And that's the whole point of a cookie?? What is the point of buying cookies if the cookies themselves are awful? You go to these bakeries, these restaurants, your friend's house, and you try the very limited cookies on offer, only to find that they've been sloppily baked. Doesn't anyone care that the baker burned their cookies to a crisp? That another straight up forgot to add sugar? This one dropped his on the floor and still tried to serve it to you! But the overall sense is that you should be grateful for getting any cookies at all. "That cookie is an offense to my taste buds," you say and people shake their head at you, disappointed. "I liked the taste of it," one says. "If you don't like it, go buy a different cookie!" Well... easier said than done. "It's not that bad," another says, shrugging in defeat. "I mean yeah, I don't really like it, and the baker stopped making them two years ago... but I'm just happy to have had any cookie at all, you know?" You do know, but that doesn't mean it's any less frustrating. You look at the hundreds of cakes available, these bakers spending decades perfecting their recipes, and wish cookies had even a fraction of that work put into them. You find people who agree with you, absolutely, but there's this this prevailing sense that a cookie is a cookie. Any cookie will do. Supposedly.

Except go long enough and you feel like you're ready to lose your mind. You take some poor person by the shoulders and go, "Doesn't this bother you? Doesn't this make you furious? There is more to the cookie world than these three flavors, 90% of which is chocolate chip! And we deserve well-made cookies, not the crap they've been upholding as the next culinary masterpiece!"

But this person just shakes their head. "Well of course there's more to cookies than three flavors. There's a huge variety of cookies! I know that."

"Yes, but the world isn't selling that variety."

"Of course they are! Just last week I had an oatmeal raisin. That's amazing!"

"Yeah and how many years did it take you to find that?"

"Well..."

"And how did that oatmeal raisin cookie taste?"

Your prisoner pulls a face. "Ugh, not good. Oatmeal raisin is definitely not for me. It's hard as a rock! I really don't understand why someone would want to eat that on a regular basis."

"But it's not supposed to be hard as a rock!" you cry, waving your arms. "That's the problem! Oatmeal raisin is so goddamn rare and then the one time we get it, it was badly baked. Of course people are turned off by it. Everyone who already loves oatmeal raisin is getting pissed because their favorite cookie is misrepresented, they're unlikely to see more of them now, and everyone is still serving the most tasteless chocolate chip cookies I've ever had, acting like this is the pinnacle of cookie baking! Do you even know that a macron exists?"

The person pats your hand consolingly. "Of course I do. My roommate's sister's boyfriend used to bake macrons, you know. I don't know why you're so hung up on this. Cookies can be whatever the baker wants them to be. Provided they're a flat-ish sweet cake, they're still a cookie!"

You hang your head, giving up. "Yes, they can be so many things, but they're not. Let me know if you ever find a bakery actually making the variety you keep acknowledging exists. Bonus points if those cookies are edible. My soul if they're delicious, as a cookie should be."

"You know," they say, still patting your hand. "There's a bakery making chocolate chip with dark chocolate next year. Everyone is talking about it. You should think about buying one before they take it off the menu!"

You contemplate just walking into the ocean.

Now, incredibly long metaphor concluded... switch out "cookies" for "queer rep"! The representation matters because no, just making them gay isn't enough right now. You're right that queer people can be anything under the sun, but right now media isn't providing us with that variety. It's not enough to acknowledge that such variety exists, it actually has to make it into our books and onto our screen. Taking just characters who identify as gay and putting aside the HUGE variety of other identities for a moment (of which we are mostly lacking in terms of rep), where are the gay asexuals? The gay people of color? The disabled gays? Trans gays? Did your gay character appear for just a handful of episodes? Were they killed off? Are they nothing more than a stereotype or comic relief? Is this the only gay character in your entire story? We need to ask questions like this because though gay people can be anything under the sun, our media landscape has only shown a miniscule portion of that variety.

Today, even in 2021, our representation of gay people is still pretty limited to:

You are only coded as gay and evil

You are only coded as gay and queerbaited

You are canonically gay, but a cis, ablebodied, white person

You are canonically gay, but were written terribly/killed off/punished by the narrative/generally making the real gay people watching you feel awful about their identity

You are canonically gay, but you're not human. Gotta other the queerness by making you an alien/robot/fantasy being

You are canonically gay and that's your entire existence. There is one (1) narrative of how you knew by the time you were four, never questioned your identity after that, suffered through a family that rejected you, and now all your major arcs revolve around being gay. You are gay and that is it.

Despite being a list of six, that's still incredibly limiting. Are there exceptions to such a list? Always, but that doesn't mean the list isn't still dominating. We can look at any individual gay character and say, "Of course they can be evil/white/killed off/a joke/etc. because gay people can be anything at all," but when we look at the trends, when we look at ALL the media together, we see that gay people aren't actually depicted as being anything... they're depicted as being these handful of things, severely limiting how gayness is represented. Bad rep. If you hit up the bakery and question why there's only versions of chocolate chip available yeah, the baker can go, "But cookies can be any flavor! Including chocolate chip!" They are not, technically, wrong. The problem is not that chocolate chip exists, but that chocolate chip dominates and other flavors are rare, ignored entirely, or baked so badly it's actively damaging to that flavor as a whole. Yeah, your gay character can be mean. Or kinky. Or murdered by the story. But when so many gay characters are mean and kinky and murdered by their stories — when you're not getting other versions to balance that out and gay characters are still rare enough that it's just 1-2 characters trying to carry representation for an entire franchise — you start realizing that the claim of "Gay people can be anything else under the human experience" is an easy way to shut down the conversation of whether that variety actually exists in our storytelling yet.

It's not enough for the baker to acknowledge that yeah, of course there are hundreds of cookie flavors and of course cookies taste great! They've actually got to learn how to bake them properly and fill up their store with them.

#queer #mymetas

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Cuddly Date Time

Alastor & Telly @usedhearts have a date night and completely ignore their movie and snacks because Alastor found a list of questions for partners to ask each other.

And so they ask each other a million questions.

It's very nice.

Telly

Date night! Telly had the Eggs set up the projector on the bridge, and pull in one of the chaise lounges. He had a bowl of popcorn, and mixings for drinks.

And he wore just a t-shirt. He was a comfy snake tonight.

Alastor

Date night! Never content with one snack where multiple would do, Alastor had spent the last couple of hours in the kitchen, putting together bacon-wrapped pineapple, stuffed mushroom caps, and a couple dozen crostini each topped with a random assortment of whatever looked fun in the fridge. He'd discovered he liked hand-feeding his partner, and by god was he *gonna.*

The longer he lived with Telly, the more obvious it was that he needed to get himself more casual clothes; but for now, he'd make do with a t-shirt (stolen from Telly's stock) and his bath robe to get comfortable. He swooped in with a tray of snacks, summoned up a side table to set it on, and slid his arms around Telly as he sat. "Why, hello there~"

Telly

Telly smiled, leaning into Alastor's side.

"Hello to you, too. Fancy seeing you here." He laughed and kissed Alastor.

"Are we ready to go?" He lifted the remote, to point backwards at the projector.

Alastor

He returned the kiss and settled into Telly's side. "Ready when you are!"

Telly

"Here we go!" He clicked the remote and the lights dimmed and the movie started. That done, he wrapped his arm around Alastor, turning to kiss his cheek.

"So, what culinary delights did you make for me to try this time?"

Alastor

Alastor hummed along to the opening notes of Music Man, then glanced over to his tray of food. "Mushrooms, bacon-wrapped pineapple—I thought you'd like a little tropical fruit—" smooch, "—and a veritable rainbow of crostini treats!" He'd sort of tried to stick them in rainbow order. He doesn't quite remember rainbow order. "We had some odds and ends of jams and cheeses and pickled things, so I got creative."

Telly

"Oh, sounds tasty! I will leave it up to the discretion of the chef which I try first." He smirked and winked.

His eyes flicked back to the screen for a moment, and he hummed.

Alastor

"Well, in that case..." He'd gotten the pineapple specifically for Telly, so he plucked that up to offer first.

Telly

Telly opened his mouth to accept the pineapple. He hummed as he chewed, and nodded. "Oh, that is delicious!"

Alastor

"Good!" Alastor was constantly amazed at how gratifying the little things were these days. Things like Telly's little hum.

He picked up a mushroom cap to offer next. "I'd forgotten how much I enjoy the first song! With all the train sounds." That said, he's already only paying about 40% attention to the movie. The movie is mainly an excuse to cuddle.

Telly

"Oh yes, it's quite ingenious!" Telly turned his head to glance at the screen before focusing back on Alastor. He took the next bite and his face scrunched a moment, before smoothing to contentment.

"Mm, interesting!"

Alastor

Huff! "Is that interesting good or interesting bad? I can take them if you don't like them."

Telly

"Interesting good! It just wasn't the flavor I was expecting them to be." He grinned and picked one up to offer Alastor. "But I _will_ share."

Alastor

"Why, *thank* you! Don't mind if I do." He took the bite then kissed Telly's thumb before he sat back to chew.

Telly

Telly followed as he sat back, pecking his cheek. "You looked so _indignant_ just then, it was adorable."

Alastor

"I did not," he said good-naturedly. "I happen to know for a fact I was smiling the whole time."

Telly

"Yes, you were! But I've started to identify your different smiles. That one was definitely indignant." He nodded for emphasis, even as he fought to keep his face in a mock serious mask.

Alastor

"Really!" He laughed, grinning wider. "Well, what's this one, then?"

Telly

"That's your 'I'm amused at my partner-in-crime's antics' smile." He giggled.

Alastor

"Close! But you missed the utter adoration."

Telly

"Oh yes, how could I miss that!" He laughed and leaned to kiss Alastor.

Alastor

He returned the kiss, then leaned in to nuzzle Telly's neck. "Say. It occurs to me that I'm not paying terribly close attention to the movie, and I can't help but notice you aren't either. If you don't mind paying a little less attention, I picked up a game that might be fun to play?"

Telly

"A game?" Telly tilted his head, smiling at the nuzzling. Sometimes it still sent a thrill down his spin that Alastor was here with him, like this, and he felt it now.

"What sort of game?"

Alastor

"Well, considering the topic we were just on..." He pulled out his phone with a flourish. (It was hard to flourish with a cell phone, but he was determined to make it work.) "Questions to get to know each other better! I don't think there are any about smiles, but it's a fine list nonetheless. Personally, I always love a good interview—and I know I still don't know half as much about you as I'd like to."

Telly

Telly blinked. "Oh! Well alright, that sounds fun."

He grinned and kissed Alastor again. "Alright, go for it. First question."

Alastor

"Okay! This list here has about two hundred questions and I narrowed them down to only the ones I want to know the most about you—so, naturally, I have over a hundred." He laughed and scrolled through the list. "Let's see, let's start with an easy one—Do you prefer living in the countryside, in a town, or in a big city, and why? I know you've moved around some, and it's hard to tell how an airship counts."

Telly

"Hmm," Telly said, stroking his chin as he pondered.

"I do enjoy city life, with all the people-- we as long as I can separate myself from the majority of them. But I adored my time in Dover when I was alive. The crashing of the sea as I worked was a great focus."

Alastor

"So away from all the city noise, down by the seashore?" He considered that. "We'd have to move a few rings to find a proper shore—how do you feel about prerecorded ocean sounds? I think I can swing that much!"

Telly

"I do like those, it's always fascinated me how they could replicate things like that."

Alastor

"So do I! Sound effects in general are an under-appreciated art! I've got a wide variety of things I listen to to fall asleep, and background sounds like that are high in the list!" His smile turned sheepish. "Or—used to be, anyway. Nowadays I usually listen to you instead."

Telly

Telly blinked. "Listen to me? My heartbeat?" He tilted his head.

Alastor

"And your breathing." He is, in fact, still capable of being a little self-conscious about his moments of sappiness.

Telly

Telly glanced away and for the million and first time he was glad he no longer blushed. "That is....very sweet and romantic, love."

Alastor

"Oh, is it!" He looked a *little* less sheepish. "Here I was worried it might be a bit too much."

Telly

"No, darling, the fact that you fall asleep to the sound of my heart and breathing is definitely not 'too much'." He smiled and leaned over to kiss him.

"Well, next question, yes?"

Alastor

"Well, when you put it *that* way, it sounds charming." He returned the kiss. "Next question!" He handed the phone over to Telly. "Your turn to pick one. Interview the hell outta me. I'm ready for my closeup."

Telly

Telly took the phone and inspected the list of questions, humming softly.

"Hmm, let's see..." He scrolled down. "How about this one. 'What is the most thrilling-slash- adrenaline seeking thing you would consider doing?'"

Alastor

"Oh! Well? Hm." A pause. "Is that counting things I've already done, or only things I haven't tried yet?"

Telly

"I think only things you haven't tried yet." Telly read over the question again. "Yes."

Alastor

"Oh, well then!" He tipped his head back while he thought. "You know, I've always thought skydiving sounded fun! But it's hard to find an instructor and pilot that I didn't think would get me splatted on the sidewalk because they were too terrified of me to do their jobs right." His eyes lit up. "Say, this thing doesn't get high enough for skydiving, does it?"

Telly

"I don't think so." He laughed, shaking his head. "But if you ever want me to toss you out to give you a briefer experience, let me know."

He paused, humming again. "Now I'm curious, though, what was the most thrilling thing you already did?"

Alastor

"I'll keep it in mind!"

He winced. "Oh, I talked myself into that one. And here I didn't even get to the question about relationship dealbreakers first. But, uh... hunting people for sport?" He laughed self-consciously. "I kept meaning to bring it up, but there's really no easy way to work that into a conversation."

Telly

"You did mention something about being out there to kill when you died. So, you hunted people?" Telly's tone stayed completely casual-- this was Hell and he'd been here a while, one got used to most things.

Alastor

He hadn't *thought* it was going to be a problem, considering what Telly was up to when he died, and considering everything Alastor got up to that Telly already knew about—but you never really knew how someone was going to react. And if Alastor knew anything about mass murderers, it was that depending on their motives or methods, they couldn't even get respect from other mass murderers. "People and deer, usually. But by the end, the deer were mainly a consolation prize and an excuse to get close to the real prey."

Telly

"I see." He stroked his chin. "How many do you think you killed? Did any get away that you know of?"

Alastor

"Oh, only two or three dozen tops," he said modestly. "I'd have to ask how many the infernal treasury credited me with, but even that number wouldn't be quite all of them. There's a few I shot and left that I never saw show up in the papers, so they might have got away, but none I know for sure. "

Telly

"Hm! Well, no wonder you wanted a hunter rifle for your present." He grinned and laughed. "Alright, next question for me."

Alastor

"That's it?" He raised his eyebrows, surprised. "You know, I always kind of thought that one would generate more discussion. Huh." He turned back to the list of questions to scroll through—and picked up another snack to feed Telly while he looked for a question. "Here's an intriguing one—what are you deliberately ignoring, even though you know you should deal with it?"

Telly

Telly took the offered snack with his mouth. He hummed, thinking as he chewed.

"I don't think that I'm deliberately ignoring anything right now?" He squinted, and his head tilted. "So, only unknowingly ignoring, then." He chuckled.

Alastor

"Well, tell me something you're unknowingly ignoring!" He said, like a little shit.

Telly

"Obviously, I don't know what those are, Alastor." He rolled his eyes.

Alastor

"No? You're positive?" He grinned impishly. "Well, all right! No skeletons in your closet, I suppose!" He passed the phone back. "But next time I'll get something interesting out of you."

Telly

"Yes, yes, next time." He took the phone back and scrolled through again. "Hmm, how about this: What calms you down the most?"

Alastor

"Oh." A long pause. And then a tiny wince and a mumble, "Do you know what ASMR is?" It's worth noting that he's more self-conscious over this than the serial killing.

Telly

"Vaguely. But tell me more about it." He leaned in, grinning malevolently.

Alastor

Ahem. "*Well.* When I was alive, and we were all still trying to figure out what to *put* on the radio, some of the earliest programs were, just... musical programs with sort of a vague plot narrated between them. And when I say 'vague,' I mean 'today John Doe is driving into town, let's play a bunch of songs about farms and meadows and bridges because that's what he's driving past.' And I appreciated those plotless little shows. But they weren't too popular—people wanted more stories in their stories, so they went away." He was going somewhere with this, really. "And then a little after I died, shows really started pushing the envelope with what they could do with the *sound* on radio, you know, with sound effects and the like, getting really experimental with it. And I tell you, I ate that up! I probably spent most of the forties with headphones practically glued to my head—and this was before they started offering the high-quality headphones for sinners that don't have their ears on the sides of their heads! And uh, that—that's more or less what ASMR is. Like those early shows with nearly-plotless plots, with the music taken out and copious sound effects to support the plot instead. That's... that covers most of the appeal." He did NOT make eye contact and he WAS embarrassed.

Telly

Telly blinked. Well. He hadn't realized that was such an in depth topic. He sat quiet as he processed a moment and then nodded.

"So you like it because it feels familiar?"

Alastor

"Not exactly, no—more because it... has those things I already liked." Mumble, "And it makes my ears tingle." Mumble mumble, "And sometimes it's nice to pretend I can get a haircut from somebody who isn't afraid to look me in the eyes."

Telly

Telly smirked, leaning against him. "Well, sometime you'll have to show me one."

Alastor

"Really?" His brow wrinkled. "Well—alright. But fair warning, I've probably oversold how interesting it is. I mean—the people who are interested in it find it interesting, but..."

Telly

"I at least would want to hear it once, just because you like it so much." He kissed Alastor's cheek.

Alastor

"Oh... sure, then. I'll see what I can find for you." He returned the smooch. "I'll try to avoid the more esoteric ones."

Telly

"Yes please, darling." He purred. "Next question?"

Alastor

"You know... I think I want to ask you one that you asked me." He grinned. "What's the most thrill-seeking thing *you'd* do?"

Telly

"Thrill-seeking...." He pondered that for a moment, finger tapping his chin again.

"Probably seems typical for me, but I think it would be a great thrill to finally attack Vox."

Alastor

"Hah! Put *that* one at the top of the list! Oh, I hope that by the time we go for him, he's so outmatched that he's *boring*."

Telly

"Yes, we can hope!" He laughed, grinning wider.

Alastor

He tugged Telly in to plant a firm kiss on his cheek. "I just love when we're on the same page."

Telly

Telly purred, turning to kiss Alastor's lips. "I love _you_," he muttered, wrapping his arms around him.

Alastor

"I love you, too." It's something he still has to practice saying without his breath shuddering; sometimes there's still a little static hitch. But it's coming more easily.

Telly

There was still a thrill that went through him, hearing Alastor say it back-- a thrill that made him beam and kiss him all the more. He sighed happily against his lips, cuddling close.

Alastor

He slid an arm around Telly's waist, holding him closer, humming along to the love song in the movie as he kissed Telly.

Telly

Telly let the kiss keep going for a while, before pulling back, a grin on his face. "I also love kissing you."

Alastor

"I think I've developed a taste for it myself." Understatement.

Telly

He laughed. "Yes, it seems you have." He leaned in for another kiss.

Alastor

He wasn't about to get any complaints from Alastor. Just a hungry return kiss.

Telly

Telly pushed closer, arms and tail coiling tightly around him. He pulled back after a time, and giggled.

"Oh, look at us, making out during a picture show like teenagers!"

Alastor

"Ha! I never made out at the picture shows as a teenager!" He paused thoughtfully, then added, "And as a teenager *you* never went to a picture show. But what's time to the dead?" He laughed. "I wouldn't have enjoyed it then, anyway."

Telly

"We simply must get the teenage experiences we never had! Even if they are ones that we wouldn't have had otherwise!" He laughed, kissing over Alastor's face.

Alastor

He laughed as he was smothered in kisses. "I didn't *want* that teenage experience! Do you know, *do you know* how *hard* it is to ask a gal you're friends with if she'd like to see a show with you, and then actually *see the show*? There I am, early twenties, with some dame desperate to introduce me to her lips, trying to watch Mister Buster Keaton, and—and..." His laughter momentarily overtook his ability to speak. "I should've taken a cobra to the movies. Do you think they'd have let me? Just escorted one on a day trip from the Bronx Zoo?"

Telly

"No, I don't think so. A python, maybe." He grinned and laughed, nuzzling close to Alastor. "But just think, you can take _this_ cobra to a picture show!"

Alastor

"I certainly can! And you're a better conversational partner!" He pulled Telly deeper into the nuzzle. "I can't think of anyone else I'd rather ignore a movie with."

Telly

Telly grinned wider, chuckling against Alastor's neck. "Mm, I think we lost track of the questions sometime around the second kiss, but I certainly don't mind, do you?"

Alastor

"No, not terribly." He kissed Telly near start of his hood. "Although I'd like to loop back around to that sooner or later. There's *so much* I want to ask you, and I feel like we never get to talk enough."

Telly

"Hmm," Telly hummed, sitting up, but taking Alastor with him. He situated him on his lap and grinned. "How about one asks a question and the other has to answer whilst being kissed?"

Alastor

"Ooh. You know, that *does* have its appeal." He straddled Telly's tail, looped his arms over Telly's shoulders, and pressed their foreheads together. "*However...* not to be the cliché libidoless talk show host we all know I am, but—I really do want to *talk* with you. Without the conversation playing second-string to a distraction." He offered a crooked, uncertain smile. "If that doesn't sound too boring for you? I don't want to hold you hostage in a conversation you've lost interest in, mind."

He was still hesitant, still self-conscious whenever what Telly was looking for physically was less than what Alastor was currently looking for. It was easy enough to say "no" when he was flat-out uncomfortable with an activity; he could even let himself think that he was giving Telly an opportunity to be gallant by graciously reigning in his own desires for Alastor's comfort. He felt less sure of saying "no" when he was simply not terribly excited by the idea at the moment. He felt like he was the one giving up the opportunity to be gallant. It was a new quandary for him, and he didn't enjoy his own uncertainty.

But thus far honesty had never steered him wrong with Telly, so he'd tell the truth first and figure out the rest later.

Telly

Telly purred as their foreheads pressed together, and then gave Alastor a squeeze. "Of course. We can just talk. As long as you don't mind if I simply _must_ occasionally interrupt you because the urge to give you a kiss is _unbearable_."

He leaned back to dramatically press the back of his hand to his forehead, before cracking open an eye and grinning. He readjusted himself to be snuggled back in close.

"I forget whose turn it is, so why don't you start us off again."

Alastor

Alastor's grin widened again, as much with relief as amusement. "Far be it from I to deny you if you're in such desperate need! Why, I might need one or two myself." And just to prove it, he planted a quick peck on Telly's forehead. "*I* kept track. We got off-topic because you said you wanted to take down ol' blockhead and I thought it was the most beautiful thing you said today. So it's your turn to ask one."

Telly

"Oh, alright." He looked around, finding the phone from where it had fallen in their kissing frenzy. He scrolled through it before making a face briefly.

"You know, there's something I've wanted to ask that's not on this list, and what better time than now?" Telly smiled, albeit sheepishly, turning to glance away as he worked up the nerve to ask his question.

"So, to preface this, I know when it comes to bedroom things, there are things you definitely do not want to do, one being me touching you in the--" He gestured vaguely to Alastor's crotch. "But I was wondering, what's your opinion on.....blow jobs?" He muttered the last word, looking away even harder.

Alastor

"Really? 'How do you feel about blow jobs,' they left that one off the list?" He squinted in exaggerated puzzlement at the phone. "How did they miss *that* one?" He tutted chidingly, then turned to Telly. "Giving or receiving? Or both? Or just as a general cultural phenomenon?"

Telly

"Well, I assumed that since you don't want me doing anything--" He gestured again to Alastor's crotch. "-- _down there_, that it would be giving."

~~He is still not making eye contact. He is not Looking.~~

Alastor

"Well... actually, I've been thinking about it." A dramatic pause. "And I'm still thinking about it."

Okay, now that he'd got the instinct to be a troll out of his system: "Here's the thing. Most available options, I've got clear opinions on and I don't have to wonder about them. Hand jobs? Sure, I've been giving them to myself for over a century, no problem with that. Anal? God hung a sign over that door that says 'exit only,' and while I'm perfectly happy to ignore that sign to sneak into a theater or a gourmet kitchen, I don't feel compelled to break into the back door of my sewage facility. And so on! But blow jobs, though?" He shrugged expansively, clueless.

"It's always looked disgusting, but that was when I was considering the prospect of all that hair and sweat and the crust of poor hygiene. None of that's a factor here. On the other hand, I generally don't stick things in my mouth I don't intend to chew and swallow—see, that sign on one end marked 'exit only' is accompanied by one on the other side that reads 'entrance only.' Kissing is fine, licking and nipping are fine, but the idea of sticking something in there and... *holding* it? Sliding it back and forth? It's..." He trailed off. "Well—neither good nor bad. Just... alien. I can't really imagine how it'd go."

He took a deep breath. "And of course, the fastest way to find out would be to go 'Well, whip 'em out, let me slobber on them and see how I like it!' But: I don't want to offer that if I don't already *know.* I don't want to get your hopes up just to find out in under ten seconds that I hate it and I'm never doing it again."

Telly

Telly listened, giving a small chuckle at Alastor's analogies. He pondered for a moment, his hand moving up to stroke at his chin. "Well, the thing is, how _will_ we know unless we try? That's a thing in science: you form a hypothesis and then conduct experiments to see if you're correct. You know that if something doesn't work out, or you _don't_ end up liking it or wanting to do it again, that's fine, yes? I'd rather us try and fail, than never try at all for only fearing the failure.

"Now, I'm not saying we jump right in and try it out right this very minute, but sometime in the future, why not give it a shot? The worst case is you don't like it, and then we know and we don't have to wonder anymore. Best case? We have another position we're both comfortable with.

"And stemming from that, if you don't like the idea of sticking the whole thing in, then there's always just licking-- or even eating me out, my slit where they're usually stored _is_, ah, capable of experiencing that as well. There's variations we could test. And if you don't like them either, no harm, no foul." He shrugged, one hand going to cup Alastor's cheek.

Alastor

"Don't scientists also do research first? To base their hypothesis on what they already know? I'm confident I could do more research." He leaned into Telly's touch, eyes sliding shut. "I'm... not ready yet." Which was embarrassing as all hell for him to admit—him, *Alastor* the *Radio Demon*, not ready for something. "I want to know that at least I haven't overlooked something obvious just because I rushed it. I—" he winced, "I don't consider myself a nervous person—but the thing is I don't want to be the least bit nervous while I've got a very delicate piece of equipment between my teeth."

Telly

"And that's fine, too. Like I said, we don't need to jump into it _right now_, or anything. We can wait until you're ready to try." He smiled and leaned in to give him a kiss.

"Alright, I think it's your turn now."

Alastor

Kiss! "All right, what have we got here..." They were down in the relationship and sex questions. He scrolled a bit, barked out a "HA," gave Telly a shit-eating grin, and read, "How well do you think our sex drives match up?"

Telly

Telly blinked at the question-- before breaking into a fit of cackling. His head tossed back, his laugh was loud and echoed in the cavernous bridge.

Alastor

Alastor cackled along with him, so loud his voice took on a note of distortion as if blasting from an overburdened speaker, and he flopped off of Telly's tail and onto his side. "Pff—perfectly synchronized," he wheezed, "right?"

Telly

Telly wheezed as well, trying to get out his reply. "Oh yes, perfectly!" He flopped back, giggling manically.

Alastor

He tugged Telly down to pull him into a hug, even as he laughed. The fact that they could laugh about it was good. Even if they weren't in sync, at least they weren't in conflict. That was what mattered.

"Ahh... I'll find a real one, give me a second."

Telly

Telly's chuckles tapered off as he settled against Alastor, purring. "You're hilarious, you know that, right?"

Alastor

"*Thank* you!" Now here was a smile that could light up a room. "I know it, but I like to know you know it too." He scrolled through the list, looking for one of the more serious questions he'd wanted to ask. "What are some of your relationship goals?" He paused. "Besides blow jobs."

Telly

"Relationship goals?" He tilted his head, a confused frown on his face. "I'm...not sure? Does a relationship need _goals_? I'm happy to be with you, no matter what."

He considered for another moment. "I suppose...us being happy is a goal? Can that be a goal?"

Alastor

"Sure! It can be a goal! The most important one, I think!" He propped himself up so he could look at Telly more directly. "You're not planning all this too far ahead, are you? Besides our next raid or two and the next thing to build and a list of enemies for us to topple?"

Telly

His face scrunched briefly. "No, not too far in advance. That's where I got into....complications before, when it was all planning, no _doing_. I thought a different approach would work better this time around-- but that's about conquering, and not about _us_. Sure, my goals for Hell are important, but as long as you're by my side, I feel like....that part will go much more smoothly."

Alastor

His smile warmed at Telly's faith in him. "I think relationship goals and conquering goals overlap. Like, say, what if your goal was to conquer and rule Hell with me, but my secret little goal for us was to find a way we could permanently sneak out of Hell and live in the mortal realm? I *don't*, but just for example. Both those would affect which direction our relationship goes—so I think they'd count as relationship goals. And we'd be in trouble if we both assumed we'd get ours without talking to the other."

Telly

"That is true, I just thought that the question was more specifically about goals for our relationship by itself. But you're right! Life-- or rather, Death Goals also affect relationships!" He chuckled.

Alastor

"It could be." He looked at the question and shrugged. "Whatever gives us a more interesting answer, I think! So! I'll amend it: have any relationship goals or goal that'll affect our relationship?"

Telly

"Well, in that case, I have the goal of conquering Hell with you by my side!" He laughed, winking at Alastor.

Alastor

"You know, that's on my list, too!" He laughed as well. "Just the two for now, then? Keep it nice and simple?"

Telly

"Yes, for now!" He shrugged, taking the phone back to scroll through questions.

He hummed as he looked and then grinned wickedly. "Alright, here's one I like: 'What are some things you really like about me?'"

Alastor

"Oh! How much time do you have!" He laughed. "Where to start? I like that evil smile of yours!" He pecked Telly's lips. "I like how you embrace what got you damned, instead of either denying it or moping about it. I like your organ playing—and your dancing—and the way you move. I like how you can think up some insane contraption, go, 'let there be a freeze ray!' and behold, within a day there is. I like how when I look at all you can make, I really do believe that you're the one human who could beat gods and demons not by borrowing their tricks but just by being human. I like how much you enjoy my cooking. I like how you hum when you work. I like how passionate you are about your inventions. I like your taste in interior design. I like your laugh. I like watching you swim. Should I keep going?"

Telly

As Alastor spoke, Telly curled around him, his purr starting up. He coiled tighter and grinned wider, until he was beaming and his face looked near to breaking. He squirmed briefly and laughed.

"Heh! Is that all? Is there more? Please DO feed my ego!!"

Alastor

"Oh, fine, fine! I also like how megalomania looks on you when your ego's been fed! And that menacing rumble you get, low in your chest. And the way your body feels." He ran a hand down along Telly's tail. "And the color of your eyes. *And* your scales. And the fact that you're theatrical enough to keep up with me. And the way you'll dress up to go somewhere fun with me. And when I'm going a hundred miles an hour, you don't ask me to slow down, but go a hundred and five. And you enjoy torturing a prisoner or seeing a musical or burgling a mall all just the same. And you have terrific taste in weapons. And your idea of a good date is having a picnic over the grave of the man who mistreated you. And you've never been horrified by me, even when you damn well should be. And you have a sadistic streak that borders on a form of art. And you make my dead heart start again when you sing. And you can play string duets like it's nothing. And you mix your own fragrances."

Telly

Telly couldn't help the overly pleased look that grew on his face. He purred and pressed his face into Alastor's shoulder. "If I could blush, I'd be bright as a traffic light." He kept grinning against Alastor.

"Love you, dear..."

Alastor

"Love you, *mon roi.*" A smooch to the side of his head.

Telly

Telly nuzzled and then looked up to kiss Alastor's lips.

Alastor

He returned the kiss, broke it long enough to say, "—and your teeth—" and went back in.

Telly

That little addition earned him a nip, and a grin against his lips.

Alastor

He nipped Telly back, chest trembling with silent laughter. Maybe he should start keeping a list. Make sure he remembered to tell Telly about every item on it at least once.

Telly

He laughed, too, giving another nip. He squeezed Alastor with tail and arms.

"One of these days, I'm going to make you blush like you make me."

Alastor

"I thought you said you couldn't blush." Alastor winked. "I'll look forward to that day! I'd better be red as a tomato!"

Telly

"You may not see it on my face, but you _know_ when you do, Alastor!" He chided playfully.

Alastor

"I might," he said innocently. "Tell me—was all that the answer you wanted to hear? I didn't leave out anything important, did I? There's just so much to try to remember!"

Telly

"Mm, no, I think you covered your bases pretty well," He said with a grin.

Alastor

"Good!" He beamed brilliantly. "I want to make sure you're feeling properly appreciated, after all!"

Telly

"You do, you do." He laughed, handing back the phone as he cuddled closer. "I think it was your turn now."

Alastor

"I think you're right!" He scrolled slowly through the list. "We just did a couple of relationship questions... So! What are some of your earliest memories?"

Telly

"Hmmm..." He sat back, taking Alastor's free hand with him as he pondered.

"I suppose it would be my mother overseeing the governess dressing me for some function when I was very young."

Alastor

"The governess! I don't think you've ever mentioned her." Although it made sense that a noble family had a house full of help, didn't it? "What was she like? Was she the one who taught you?"

Telly

"We had a number of them over the years-- never kept one too long, Father always said they got 'overly familiar' after a while." He shrugged.

Alastor

He had to take a moment to process that. "Is that code for 'he fired anyone who started to express concern for his children's well-being,' or 'he was sleeping with the help and fired them whenever he got caught'?"

Telly

"The former. There was one governess who was especially concerned about me, when I was, oh, six or seven, I believe? She went to my mother to speak with her about something regarding me, and the next day she was gone."

Telly snorted. "It's like they expected these women whom they hired to raise and teach their children to do so without becoming emotionally invested in said children."

Alastor

"Well, *they've* got no trouble regarding their children like vessels for their legacy instead of people, why is it so hard for someone they hired to do the same?" He shook his head. "You were already worrying people at six? What kind of trouble were you in?" He hoped it was the "already making dangerous inventions" variety rather than the "unusually miserable for a six-year-old" variety, but he wasn't getting his hopes up.

Telly

"I was either very quiet or very loud, I couldn't pay attention or I focused too hard on things, etcetera." He shrugged again. "The normal 'this child is not a neurotypical child' thing."

Alastor

"*There's* a five dollar word! You too?" Alastor laughed ruefully. "Funny thing, all my teachers said the same thing. Except *they* didn't get emotionally invested." He grimaced. "But then I wasn't a noble boy—I was just somebody's bastard."

Telly

"What, did you think the compulsion to create great machines of awe and destruction and take over the world came from the mind of someone who _wasn't_ afflicted with many neurodivergencies?" He chuckled.

"But yes, a few of them were worried, and a couple more tried the 'beat it out of him' method of fixing it."

Alastor

"There's a *six* dollar word. Does it include shocking inspiration and genius beyond any other human's capacity? Because I suspected that part."

Alastor sneered, his lip curling up to expose his teeth, as if contemplating sinking them into the throats of whichever governesses had dared pull such a stunt. "I'm familiar with *that* method." He shifted to kiss Telly's forehead. "I doubt it worked any better on you than it did on me."

Telly

"Yes, I believe so! It didn't work at all for me." He chuckled. "There were some better than others-- I really hated the one that used a switch." He shuddered.

Alastor

"Yard stick," Alastor said mournfully. "I think my mother would have murdered anyone who took a switch to me, but I wasn't friends with that yard stick."

Telly

"They would smack me when I focused too hard, and then when I couldn't focus at all-- it would send quite the mixed signals." He shook his head, and leaned in to kiss his forehead in return.

Alastor

A bitter laugh. "And for some reason they think the constant looming threat of punishment *helps* you focus!" Alastor shut his eyes to bask in the kiss.

"I don't suppose you've ever talked to a doctor about that, have you? I talked to one a couple of decades ago that said these days they think poor focus is a medical thing. They make drugs for that now."

Telly

"I haven't talked to any doctors, no, but I've done plenty of research on my own! After all, I like to think I'm smarter than most doctors who would end up in Hell!" He laughed.

"I've figured out that I likely had ADHD and a random assortment of co-morbid disorders, such as anxiety, depression, possibly mild OCD, and anger issues!" He seemed proud of that-- the fact he'd been able to suss all that out.

Alastor

His eyes lit up. "Oh! You too!" A pause. "The ADHD part, I mean." Says the man with depression oozing out of every pore. "Why, I should have guessed! Look at us, two peas in a pod!" He'd never thought discovering he has the same extremely specific mental condition as someone else would ever be something so *delightful*, but here he was. "Do you *want* drugs for that? I know a reliable adderall dealer."

Telly

"I've tried a few, they don't work right for me-- or at least, I don't like how they work for me." He shrugged again, and then smiled.

"I had an inkling that we might share that, though!"

Alastor

"I can't say I'm *surprised.* I should have suspected it when I learned how often you skipped meals to keep working." He tilted his head. "I've got a recipe for a focus potion I could teach you? All natural except for the ritalin, but we can leave that ingredient out if you don't like how it affects you." The ritalin may, in fact, have been the part that made the focus potion work. (When he said "all natural" that description was including the cocaine.)

Telly

"We could try it-- but mostly, I've found ways to manage without, mostly. I'd be game for trying, though." He smiled. "Is the focus potion what you use to keep yours in check?"

Alastor

"It helps! Potions, drugs—and I've been told *coffee* helps too, although I never would have made the connection myself." He shrugged. "I was about a hundred when I got a diagnosis, I'm sure by now all my tricks to 'keep it in check' are so intrinsic to my life I'll never realize that's what I'm using them for! What about you, what are your 'ways to manage' it?"

Telly

"Mostly using the Eggs to help me remember to do essential things, but otherwise letting my focus run its course. Of course, that doesn't always work, as you know."

Alastor

"Oh! Yes, of course—I delegate all my 'essential things' to my little shadow helpers. I don't have to remember to do it if someone else is doing it."

Telly

"Exactly! It's one reason I made the Eggs in the first place!" He laughed.

Alastor

"Someday, I hope you'll teach me *how* you made them, because I'm just dying to know." He had a hard time believing magic hadn't been involved.

Telly

"It was a little of this and that, and some other things." He shrugged.

Alastor

"Uh-*huh.*" A smirk. "All right. Keep your secrets. I'll dig them out some other night."

Telly

"Yes, some other night." He grinned back.

"My turn now, though." Telly took the phone back and scrolled through. "Hmmm, 'What habits do you still have from childhood?'"

Alastor

"Huh..." He thought a moment. "This is a cheat, since we were talking about it earlier, but I can't fall asleep without listening to something. First my mother singing to me, then a record player, then radio. And now you." He gave Telly a crooked grin. "But that's not fair, you could have guessed that one! Uh... crunching leaves, splashing puddles... singing and dancing at people who didn't ask for it... counting on my fingers... humming... reading on the toilet..."

Telly

"All of those are very cute, save for the toilet one." He chuckled, giving Alastor a squeeze. "Did the seasons change enough in Louisiana for crunching leaves, though?"

Alastor

"Sure! Not as spectacularly as you get up north, maybe, and we've got some stubborn trees that don't have the sense to drop their leaves in the winter—but they change! Usually, oh..." He closed his eyes, trying to remember. "Sometimes by Halloween—every year I'd hope they would—but not always. Usually by December, though. Brown leaves all over the sidewalks." He opened his eyes again. "I'd see prettier foliage on hunting trips from time to time, especially in parishes farther north. The trees were bare where I died, I remember that."

Telly

Telly listened, his mind running ahead a mile a minute. "Is red your favorite color?"

Alastor

"I don't make it *too* obvious, do I?" He laughed.

Telly

"Was it always your favorite? Or did that change over time?"

Alastor

He thought. "It's almost always been red! Crimson, particularly. But ruby too. Green was my favorite for a bit in my twenties, and I have phases where I just can't get enough of yellow and gold, but I always come back to red." He beamed at Telly, "Guess why I like yellow."

Telly

Telly laughed and flared one side of his hood, grinning. "I think I know why. But that's interesting! Red and yellow are both fall sorts of colors, but green! That's different. Green is more spring!"

He paused and shrugged. "I don't know what it means, but it's interesting!"

Alastor

"It makes me think of summer, actually! Not pale fresh greens but those rich, warm greens." Shapes in lights appeared above him, aimless spirals as he tried to wrestle their hue away from his magic's typical red and into the greens he was thinking of; after a few attempts, he managed several spirals in shades of emerald and basil and moss and olive and hunter green.

Telly

"Ah, yes, I do like those greens! You know what those shades of green go well with?" He flared his hood again, grinning. "Gold! I've always been fond of that combination, green and gold, and along similar lines, blue and silver-- they're pairs that are rarely made because one sees more red and gold than green and gold. Blue and silver is a more common occurrence, though, but still rarer than using red, I think."

Alastor

He summoned up the swirls of color again, letting them hover around Telly's face in front of his hood. "You're right! Have I ever seen you in green? I think your Mardi Gras dress had some green, didn't it, but that was more of a blue-green. I'd like to see a real vivid green on you." He reached up to lightly, almost absentmindedly run a finger along the edge of Telly's hood. "What are your favorite colors overall? I'm guessing gold's right up there."

Telly

"Yes, that was more of a pale teal than a true green-- a sea green, as the theme would have it." He chuckled, head tilting, one half of his hood folding back to allow the motion.

"Gold, black, blue, green-- I became fond of the particular shade of pink that my eyes are after death, but before then, I stuck to deep saturated and rather dark colors."

Alastor

"You know, *I'm* fond of that particular shade of pink, too!" And then he had to look at the color to remind himself of why he liked it, and then he was just staring into Telly's eyes. Wow. He had pretty eyes. What were they talking about?

Telly

With Alastor staring into his eyes, he couldn't help but stare back at Alastor's, and he found himself saying, "You know, I think I've become rather fond of brilliant true red, as well...."

Alastor

"Yeah?" Eloquent. It took him a second to remember the topic. "I should hope so, considering I'm filling half your rooms with red these days." He slid his arms around Telly's shoulders. "We should have a green room..." Aaand pulled him down into a kiss. He distracted himself with all that deep eye contact.

Telly

He was more than happy to be distracted by kisses, the eye contact got to him, too. He squeezed Alastor, nipping his lips.

Alastor

He nipped back, eyes sliding shut, melting into the constrictive embrace. Who needs Heaven when he can get this in Hell.

Telly

Telly lingered in the kiss, lazy and slow, before he pulled back. "Mm, it's fascinating how many different ways one can find to kiss someone."

Alastor

"Isn't it?" His eyes opened a slit, and for a moment he eyed Telly's lips contemplatively. It would be very easy to just keep going... But they'd have time enough for that later, and his desire to keep talking to Telly was stronger. (When wasn't it?) "That time, I think I really did lose track of whose turn it is."

Telly

"I believe it's yours. I was the one who started us off on a tangent after you answered one." He smiled, nuzzling against Alastor's cheek, pressing little kisses along his jaw.

Alastor

"Right! Uh—" Oh he's distracted again. He tried to focus on his phone over Telly's shoulder. "What—what's something we could do to bring us closer together as a couple?" A pause. "Besides blow jobs."

Telly

Telly paused as well, face nuzzled against Alastor's, lips still there against his skin as he spoke. "Mm, I think what we're doing right now? Just...talking about things, enjoying being with one another. Maybe a few more couple bonding murders..." He laughed.

Alastor

"Ooh, more murders. I like the sound of that." He nuzzled Telly back. "What else? Something we're not already doing. I—feel like we've only just begun and there's room for us to do so much more."

Telly

"Honestly? I'm not sure! I may have more experience than you, but only by a fraction," He said, humming against Alastor's skin.

Alastor

That hum traveled down Alastor's neck and up the side of us head. His brain is jelly. "Well—think on it and let me know, would you? I want to do more for you. And with you."

Telly

"I will," He said, chuckling. "My turn?" He hummed again. "Alright, how about the same question: is there something you can think of that would bring us closer as a couple?"

Alastor

"Hell. You already took murder, what does that leave me with?" He laughed, then trailed off thoughtfully.

After a moment, he said, "I'd like if you asked me more questions about me. I know that's what we're doing now, but—in general. When I ask you about your beliefs, ask about mine. When I tell you I hunted humans for sport—ask why I did something crazy like that. If—if you want to know, I mean." Implicit: *you do, don't you?*

"I know we both know I never shut up, so I could just *tell* you, but... I prefer to be asked. I like to know you want... more of me than just my surface level. I'm still an entertainer, you know—I react to what my audience shows interest in."

Telly

Telly listened, lifting his head as he tilted it in thought. "Okay. I think I can do that. Generally, I don't....ask more because I don't want to pry."

He winced, looking away. "Another bad habit George instilled in me, I think."

Alastor

Alastor laughed in disbelief, "You mean he wasn't taking every opportunity to talk about himself? Color me surprised!" But then he'd probably just wanted Telly to be quiet. *Shut up and look at the stars.*

"Well, unlike *George*"—he said the name like an insult—"I *want* to know you, and I want *you* to know *me.* So if you wonder, you can ask. And I'll let you know if you ask something I can't talk about."

Telly

Telly smiled, softly and shyly at first and then with more confidence. "Okay. I will."

He let out a breath. "Did you ever tell me how you got started in radio?"

Alastor

Alastor beamed. "I don't think I did! It was in '24! I'd realized that New York didn't have what I was looking for, and I was looking for an excuse to go back to New Orleans, when my mother mentioned in a letter that a new station was going up and they were looking for somebody with a cultured accent to announce the evening orchestras. Well, I knew my way around a hobby radio kit, so I paid to make a long-distance call to the station manager, read off the first paragraph of a musical review in my best Broadway stage voice, and asked him, 'How about that, is that the voice you're looking for?' He hired me sight unseen!" He laughed. "I told myself it would be a fine part-time job until I could get in with a jazz band or a vaudeville troupe, something like that, but... I think part of me knew even then."

Telly

Telly smiled brightly. "Sounds like destiny to me. Now, when did you start killing? It was after going back to New Orleans, correct?"

Alastor

"When I started killing seriously, yes. I'd committed one murder before then, and..." A thoughtful squint. "Well, I *might* have got some Germans, but I don't know for sure. They don't exactly call you from across no man's land to congratulate you on your shot."

Telly

Telly's head tilted again, curiosity piqued.

"Who was your first? Kill, that is."

Alastor

"My racist grandfather who taught me the word 'bastard' when my father wasn't listening." He smiled grimly. "'Hunting accident.' *Very* tragic."

He nodded at Telly, "Who was *yours*? Was your attack on London the first time, or did you get a taste for it before then?"

Telly

"First that was fully intentional? My...business partner. He wanted to pull the funding for my work. I killed him and wrote letters to keep the money flowing."

Alastor

"Your *business partner*? You had a business partner? Who was *he*?" Alastor paused. "No, wait—'fully intentional'?" He paused again. "No no wait, tell me about the business partner first!"

Telly

Telly's face scrunched, and then flattened, and then scrunched again, as if he was trying to decide if what he was about to say was terrible, hilarious, embarrassing, or all three.

"He was Olivia's father. He saw potential in me, which is why he agreed to the engagement in the first place."

Alastor

His eyebrows went up. "Her *father.* Your—your friend's father! George's father-in-law. Him. Were you writing letters as him to *them*?"

Telly

Telly nodded, and let out a manic sort of laugh. "Yes! I made assurances everything was fine, that he was staying in Dover for a time as the sea air did him good, that sort of thing. Never suspected a thing."

Alastor

He blinked, an amazed smile on his face. "To your *own friend.* Oh, that's *cold.*" He laughed, pulling Telly into a quick kiss. "Did they ever find out anything had happened before you died?"

Telly

"To be honest, I wasn't thinking about her when I did....any of it. But no, she never knew until after my death."

Alastor

"She must have had a miserable time after you died, poor thing." He shook his head sympathetically—not *too* sympathetically, but he wasn't going to make fun of her when he knew Telly had actually cared about her. "Was it your airship you were working on when he tried to pull his money?"

Telly

"Yes. I'd hired a good few people to work on it day and night, and we were so close to finishing....though, 'close' was more like 'another two years', but back then that was _very_ close!" He laughed.

Alastor

"For something that size, first of its kind? I should say so! What made him want to pull out?"

Telly

"Well, that leads back to them, uh..._unintentional_ deaths. You see, I did not care for workplace safety." He chuckled.

Alastor

"*Ha!* I see! No surprise, having them work on it day and night!" He cupped Telly's cheek in a hand. "Did your callousness frighten him, my darling?"

Telly

"That and the, ah, _amount_ of men who died." He beamed.

Alastor

Alastor hooted. "You even sound *proud*! Were you proud at the time, or did you have to learn to be?"

Telly

"At the time, I was unconcerned. Mostly still am. They died so that my vision became a reality! It wasn't shameful-- their deaths had purpose!"

Alastor

"And a hell of a vision it was!" Although it might explain why apparently one of them had done slipshod work on the pipes; but pointing that out might sound like a criticism instead of an observation.

Telly

"Yes, well, Lord Everton was considerably disappointed in what he called a 'lack of safety' and 'lack of progress'. But I dealt with that."

Alastor

Alastor scoffed. "Oh, and what kind of progress was *he* expecting on the world's first flying ship? Did he think he'd be sailing it over the English Channel in three months?"

Telly

"_He_ thought it was to be just a submersible!" He laughed. "And he thought five years was more than a generous amount of time for it."

Alastor

"You didn't tell him it was going to *fly*? Why, I thought that would be a selling point!" He had no idea how long it was supposed to have taken to make a submarine in the late 1800s, so he couldn't comment on *that * part.

Telly

"Well, at first, it _wasn't_ but then I changed the blueprints a number of times and it just became an airship, too." Telly shook his head. "I was frantic and possessed by my genius."

Alastor

A strange look crossed Alastor's face. "Sounds like it must have been one hell of a time. In both good and bad ways." He almost said more, but paused, waiting to see if Telly had more to add to the story.

Telly

"It was, certainly, it was." He nodded and sighed, leaning against Alastor.

Alastor

He rubbed Telly's back for a moment, thoughtfully; then said, "That's probably how I would have described myself as a murderer toward the end. *Frantic and possessed.* Not by genius—and certainly not by something *forcing* me to kill—but I was... trying to make something." He said the words slowly, choosing them carefully. "I needed to take something inside of me and create it in the real world, and I couldn't stop until I succeeded." He looked at Telly searchingly, seeing whether he understood.

Telly

Telly locked eyes with Alastor, and nodded slowly. "Yes. I wanted to leave something behind, something grand, and it didn't matter what got in my way. Nothing was too high a cost for trying to complete _this thing_. I suspect it was a little different for you, with your killing, but....I thing the feeling was probably the same."

Alastor

"I wasn't trying to leave something behind, but I was trying to... *be* something, or—or *do* something, and I wouldn't be *complete* until I'd done it. By the time I died, it was almost the only thing that mattered." He took a deep breath. "It's like a forest fire, isn't it? There's nothing as beautiful as that blazing light, but it consumes everything in you."

Telly

Telly found himself nodding on instinct, and then when he realized what he was doing, he nodded more vigorously. "It starts like a spark and then just grows and grows until the blaze is all there is, and it's terrible and beautiful and you can't help but just....let it consume you."

Alastor

"And then you burn out. And then you're dead. And what have you got for it but the ashes of the life you could have lived if you hadn't kindled that obsession?" He gave Telly a sad smile. "Still. I wish I'd seen you when you blazed. I'll bet you were glorious."

Telly

"Sometimes you burn out even after death. I was still riding that blaze long after I think. At least, until..." He trailed off.

"I'm sure you could find old newspapers or broadcasts of my glory days in Hell, if you wanted."

Alastor

"Oh, I *plan* to! The only reason I haven't been devouring every article ever written about you is because I've had to read how to repair pipe organs first!" He smirked cheekily for a moment; but the mood wasn't right for that, and the smirk faded.

"I only *blazed* for... oh, I don't know, it might have been as short as my first day in Hell. Just long enough to ruin everything." He huffed. "Sure, I *really* crashed and burned a few decades later, but that was different. That had nothing to do with the murders. I think the old obsession's still smoldering, but—it doesn't consume me like it used to."

Telly

"Yes, there's something about dying and then falling from grace that does that, isn't there? I was flying high until-- that....incident. And then that failure tempered my drive...or squashed it, more like..."

Alastor

Alastor nodded thoughtfully. "Would you go back to that frantic and possessed feeling if you could?"

Telly

Telly thought for a long moment. "...No. No, I don't think I would. That fire and drive were intoxicating, but it didn't leave room for anything else. It was all just....the creation of it."

He turned to smile at Alastor, pressing his hand to his cheek. "I have things now that I want to have plenty of room for."

Alastor

He smiled crookedly back. "I don't think I would, either. I think I'm too old for serial killing now. I get tired just thinking of the kind of schedule I used to keep." He laughed wearily.

"... What if that's what it takes to conquer Hell, though?" He placed his hand over Telly's. "If I see you pushing yourself into obsession, do you want me to pull you back? Or do you want me to come with you?"

Telly

He considered that for another long moment. "I'm not sure. I don't have an answer right now-- I think that's a 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it' sort of thing. But whatever the answer, I'm glad you'll be with me." Telly leaned in for a kiss.

Alastor

He accepted the kiss and held it for a moment, then drew back and pressed his forehead to Telly's. "We don't need the answer tonight—but I'd like to have it before we reach that bridge. Once we get there, I imagine pulling you back from the brink would take a fight. Better to know *before* then whether you want me to try."

Telly

"Yes....yes, you're right. It's just such a vast sort of question, because how are we to know the circumstances that would surround such a second descent?" He took a breath. "It would be complicated. But I don't think I'll go there again-- when I went there in life, it was from a very dark place, and the obsession became everything. I don't think I'd be able to get to that place again without something....drastic."

Alastor

"For now we'll call that a soft 'no', how's that? But we'll play it by ear. We can talk it over more in the future."

Telly

"Yes, I think that would be best." He laughed, leaning against him.

Alastor

Alastor adjusted his arms around Telly—and then, during the brief lull in the conversation, glanced at the movie. "... How long has that been off?" He laughed.

Telly

Telly blinked and looked over as well. "Goodness, I don't know. We talked through the whole thing!" He laughed.

Alastor

"And you know, I bet we had twice as much fun as we would have watching the movie!" All the same, he started quietly playing the soundtrack—to make up for not hearing it the first time. "Well, what now? The night's still young."

Telly

"Well, we still have food. And we could put on another movie if you'd like, and this time watch it." Telly chuckled. "I'm ready for whatever you wish, darling, I just want to keep holding you."

Alastor

"We *do* still have food." He grabbed a couple crostini, popped one in his mouth, and offered the other to Telly. "Oh, I don't know if I could pay attention to another movie—but I like this 'keep holding you' idea, I think we ought to do something with that."

Telly

Telly accepted the snack and smiled. "Yes, that would be good. Maybe some more kisses, too."

Alastor

"Do you know what I think about *that*?" Without waiting for an answer, he pulled Telly into a deep kiss.

Telly

Telly's eyes flashed wide for a moment before he melted into the kiss. What a night this had been.

Alastor

What a night indeed. Alastor nipped at Telly's lip and pressed closer against him; yes, he could happily stay right here the rest of the night.

#usedhearts #chat log

[nad-zeta]

Hello, hello, hello! I loved your head canons about the warlords' ages and I wonder if you can write head canons of the warlords' profession, not in modern AU but the warlords deciding to go to the future with MC and well, the profession they would have!! Thank you so muuuuuuuuuch. 💕

Hi hi, love! 🌻Thank you sooo much for the ask! This is legit my third time writing this up, the first time I did this, I forgot to save the word file, and the second time my laptop crashed right after I finished writing it😭....... But finally, here it is🌻! I’m so happy you liked my HC, I hope you enjoy this one, and I hope you have a good day! ❤🔥

Headcanon: Warlords and their future jobs 

Nobunaga

I think the second Nobunaga arrives in the future he would become a businessman

He would start off small from your apartment, but within the month he will turn into the biggest corporate leader, having thousands of people working under him

He would spend the first few weeks just chilling in the future with you but soon start to get bored

He would also, low key feel like its wrong for you to be supporting both of you

He does some research on stock trading and then starts playing around with your life savings

Good thing for you, Nobunaga is a clever man, and he manages to triple the money in a week by playing around on the stock market

He uses the income made, to start a small business, which soon starts growing at the speed of light

This man will not be able to work for someone so I can definitely see him being the CEO of his own company

He will be the ruler of the corporate world in no time

It’s pretty funny how in the span of a year he has earned the old name he once carried in the past “Devil king.”

Masamune

This is a no brainer

Obviously he will be a chef

I think he would start off small like finding a job at a local café but then soon take the culinary world by storm

It started off when the two of you went to eat at one of your favourite cafes

He enjoyed the food so much, he couldn’t help but pop into the kitchen to thank the chef (◕‿◕✿)

The kitchen was absolute mayhem and the chef had told him that he was very short-staffed

And that is how Masa got his first future job

He worked in the café for a few months picking up experience and learning to use all the futuristic equipment

From there, he bounced around from place to place learning all sorts of cool culinary techniques

I think at the end of the day he will most likely open his own restaurant

One that specializes in authentic Japanese cuisine

Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if he opened a branch of the restaurant in Nobunagas company

Mitsunari

I can see this cutie angel being a teacher or professor

I think he would be a great academic and educator

I can actually, see this boi being a professor teaching all sorts of subjects from statistics to the art of war ヾ(●ε●)ノ

The first few weeks of being in the future with you, he spends in the library absorbing as much knowledge as possible

One day while he is sitting and reading up on every and any subject, he overhears a group of struggling professors at a nearby table

Apparently they had been trying to solve a certain equation for months now but to no luck (ﾉಠдಠ)ﾉ︵┻━┻

Mitsunari walks up to the group and cheerily asks if he can be of some assistance (◕ᴗ◕✿)

Usually the group would just laugh and chase the random stranger away but desperate times…

They hand Mitsunari the equation and this clever boi takes one look at it and starts writing out the answer

The math professors were sister shook… Like he didn’t even freaken, need a calculator (◯Δ◯∥)

They legit offered him a job as a lecturer and he soon becomes the students’ favourite absent minded professor (◕‿◕✿)

I think he will most definitely also publish a few research papers as well and contribute to the body of knowledge in all sorts of subjects

Ieyasu

Also super easy he will either be a vet or a doctor although I am leaning more towards veterinarian cause of his love for animals

He will most likely join Mitsunari in university, cause he is a super-smart porcupine he will become a certified vet in no time

Also spends the first few weeks of being in the future at the library absorbing as much medical knowledge as possible

He gets the idea of becoming a vet after watching a bunch of animal rescue shows on the national geographic channel 

While you are at work he starts volunteering at an animal rescue during the day to pass the time

That is where he met one of the vets that help out at the rescue in their free time, he legit liked Ieyasu so much he took him on as an apprentice, while Ieyasu was busy completing his studies

Later on he will most likely have his own veterinary practise

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he starts his own animal rescue on the side as well

Within two years the two of you move to live on a big plot with all yours and Ieyasus rescued pets

Hideyoshi

Hideyoshi could go one of two ways hehe 

If Nobunaga comes to the future with yall then you best be sure this boy is ganna help Nobunaga rule the corporate world

Buuuut if it’s just the two of you, I 100% see him becoming a primary school teacher

Like he would just be so good with kids

He is basically trademarked as mama hen anyways, so why not put him in a primary school to teach lil chics

I think he would be such a good teacher, supportive, kind, and patient

He has enough practise lecturing Nobunaga for bad behaviour, so he might as well put that to good use correcting the behaviours of troublesome kids

He gets into teaching when your sister drops her kid off at your apartment to babysit

You had work, so the only one that could care for the child was, the mother hen himself

He sat and taught the little boy how to read and write, this impressed your sister so much that she recommended him for the position of substitute English teacher at her child’s school

At first Hideyoshi worked as a substitute teacher, but soon he became the designated aftercare teacher and within a few months he was teaching his own class

The children absolutely adored him although they would sneak behind the school building to eat candy cause, they didn’t want to get yet another lecture from Yoshi on the negative health consequences of their favourite sugary treats

Mitsuhide

100% detective (¬‿¬)

I mean can you just imagine how sexy he would look in a trenchcoat… like OMW (づ￣ ³￣)づ

The first few weeks of spending time with you in the future you introduce him to CSI and Law and order and he is super fascinated

You are so amazed by the fact that he can figure out who the perp is 5 minutes into the show

The crime in your neighbourhood was pretty bad, but since Mitsuhide’s arrival something crazy happened 

The crime seemed to disappear. 

Like no more robberies, no more drunks walking up and down the street, just peaceful quiet calm neighbourhood 

One day as the two of you were buying snacks for your CSI bingeing session, two armed men came into the convenience store 

You looked over at your lover who seemed completely unphased, like one of the robbers were legit pointing a gun in his face, yet Mitsuhide looked uninterested

Within a blink of an eye, Mitushide managed to disarm the men and tie them up 

The police were hella impressed with the way Mitsuhide handled things 

He helped the police department solve a few petty crimes in your neighbourhood and soon they started calling him up, to help them crack some difficult cases

After a while he becomes the most famous and popular detective in town

The government low key recruits him as an agent to help them

Kenshin

Again I don’t see Kenshin working for anyone

I think the first few weeks the two of you arrive, bunnies start following him around

Looks like the bunny lord is never safe from the love of the cute fluffy creatures 

The two of you will definitely be living on a bunny farm

Kenshin, although he doesn’t admit it, has a soft spot for the cute fluffy creatures 

So the bunny farm is actually more of a bunny rescue although that’s just his part-time job

As he adapts to the future, I can see the farm transforming into being a bunny and sake farm

Lol Kenshin loves Sake so much 

He knows how good sake should taste, so naturally he starts to make his own and sell it

This starts one day when a friend of yours invites the two of you to a sake tasting

The instructor was so impressed with Kenshin’s keen sense of taste that they got to talking and before Kenshin knew it, he had two people willing to sponsor him, to start his own sake brand

Naturally he never backs down from a challenge

He actually goes on to become the largest Sake producer and bunny rescue

Yukimura

I can legit see this boy doing something active like being a firefighter or gym instructor- cause lets be real this boi is ripped

Or actually maybe both

The first few weeks of being in the future he managed to save 2 peoples lives by fearlessly running in a burning building

The firefighters were legit so impressed they decided to take him on as an intern

He got some of the perks, i.e. free gym membership to stay fit

That’s when he started giving out a few pieces of advice to the people around him

“Like seriously dummy, don’t you even know how to do a proper squat, u legit ganna hurt your back if ya keep doing it like that.”

The members of the gym appreciated his advice so much, some of them started paying him to become their instructor, and soon the gym decided to hire him part-time

Now when Yuki isn't running into burning buildings saving people he is training people in the gym 

Best be sure he is gonna drag you to the gym with him

Shingen

Hehe I’ll admit I’m not too sure what this boi would get up to in the future

I think the first few weeks will be spent with you just adapting and getting to know everything

I think he would continue on with his carpentry

He kinda starts to notice your apartment is furnished in super cheap furniture

You tell him you are just a student in this time and don’t really have money to buy anything fancy

He buys a few cheap pieces of wood and starts furnishing your apartment with the most beautifully crafted furniture

Some of your friends visit the two of you and notice the remarkable craftsmanship and start commissioning him to make them some furniture

After a while he becomes the best carpenter in town

Goes on to open up a shop selling the different furniture he makes

I can see him hiring people in need, and that need a fresh start and then teaching them the trade to be able to make something of themselves

I can also see him volunteering at rescues and fostering bear cubs cause he misses his so much

I hope you enjoyed this dear and thanks again for the ask! ❤❤🔥🌻

#ikemen sengoku headcanons #ikesen headcanons #ikesen headcanon #headcanon ikemen #mitsunari hc #ikesen hc #ikemen sengoku hc #nobunaga oda #ikesen nobunaga #ikesen kenshin #kenshin uesugi #ikesen masamune #masamune date #mitsuhide akechi #ikesen mitsuhide #ikesen yukimura #yukimura sanada #ikesen hideyoshi #toyotomi hideyoshi #ikemen shingen #shingen takeda #ikesen ieyasu #ieyasu tokugawa #ikesen mitsunari #mitsunari ishida

[legendary-defender-of-fandoms]

Would folks be open to a Vehicle Voltron spin-off of Legendary Defender?

I know Voltron left a lot of people disappointed at best and an unholy degree of pissed off at worst, and there’s nothing wrong with any reaction in between. The Voltron writing team dropped the ball with a lot of subjects (LGBT rep, Allura’s death, Lotor’s ultimate fate, Honerva’s “redemption,” etc.), and fans have every right to be angry, or hurt, or whatever.

But . . . . I’ve been thinking about Voltron a lot lately, and a Vehicle Voltron spin-off could be used to give us closure & redeem the franchise. Not the writers, or De Santos & Montgomery, but the characters & the core story deserve a second chance.

I’ll admit, I don’t know much about Vehicle Voltron (except it was an English redub of a Japanaese anime that had absolutely nothing to do with Voltron’s source anime, King of Beasts GoLion). But from what little I’ve gleaned, it could be a decent setup for a Star Trek/Justice League Unlimited sort of sci-fi action ensemble show, with different episodes focusing on separate teams until everyone has to meet up for big battles/finales.

There’s supposed to be about 15 vehicles of all sorts (planes, cars, helicopters, etc,) that make up Vehicle Voltron, broken down into 3 teams (Earth, Water, and Sky/Air). Each group of 5 vehicles makes their own mini-Vehicle Voltron, and when all 3 teams are together they make the big Vehicle Voltron. Perhaps the MFE pilots add one more to their ranks & form the Jet Vehicle Voltron that forms the head of Big Vehicle Voltron.

And with an expanded cast & different teams, the chances for proper representation would increase exponentially! Pilots & Paladins of every skin color, orientation, gender identification/presentation, body type, age, and neurodivergency. Not to mention all the crossovers born of the interpersonal relationships. Perhaps the left arm pilot of Earth Vehicle Voltron has a significant other who forms the head of Water Vehicle Voltron, or the legs of MFE Vehicle Voltron are Twins, and so forth.

Then there’s the appearances by characters from the OG Legendary Defenders. The Season 8 epilogue confirmed that Pidge & the rest of the Holt family spearheaded the Vehicle Voltron project, but they won’t be the only returning cast members.

Veronica probably transferred over from the Galaxy Garrison, either as a Pilot or a communications officer coordinating the deployment of all the Vehicle Voltron teams. And with Veronica onboard, we may see her girlfriend/partner/close friend Axca, who would rope in Ezor & Zethrid as the other members of her Blade of Marmorra relief team.

Perhaps Vehicle Voltron would give Curtis a chance to shine as the tactical advisor for one of the Teams, or an instructor at the Voltron Academy, and we’d get to know him as a character rather than a background Red Shirt hastily converted into a half-assed bit of LGBT rep. And with Curtis we could see Shiro, either as a guest advisor to teach the Teams about the importance of teamwork or just as a supportive husband. The important things here would be to establish Curtis’ personality & show his relationship with Shiro (who’s the better cook, what kind of stuff do they disagree over, how do they cheer each other up, do either of them want kids, etc.).

And think of all the other cameos we could see - Hunk & his culinary crew partnering with one of the Vehicle Voltron teams to oversee peace talks between unfriendly nations, Keith & his Blade of Marmorra team running into another Vehicle Voltron team as both try to evacuate an unstable planet, Veronica visiting her little brother Lance on the family farm & seeing how he’s doing after Season 8, etc.

Then there’s the stories. I have a few basic plots figured out, but there are tons of possibilities:

Welcome to the New Legendary Defenders - this would be the three-part premiere, as we’re introduced to the Vehicle Voltron teams, mission statements, and cast while following one of the new recruits (possibly Chip, or maybe a new character).

New Olcarion - ever wonder what happened to everyone on Olcarion since Season 8 forgot to tell us? This episode has you covered! Perhaps they built their own planet & it’s having some technical difficulties, or they think they found a new planet they could colonize but the planet has sentient life that went hidden until a bunch of off-worlders started stomping around like they owned the place.

Shadows of the Empire - there’s probably still a few Galra who aren’t ready to let go of Zarkon’s era of conquest or Haggar’s era of devastation, and they might pop up every once in a while to cause trouble. Sendack’s dead, but maybe that wormy General from the Taujeerian episode would make his long-awaited return as he tries to establish his own Galra Empire. Or maybe a forgotten cache of Galra sentret droids either never got deactivated or were recently reactivated & are still carrying out their prime directives (I.e. conquer everything in the name of the Galra Empire).

Balmera Pains - a colony of Balmerans reach out to Vehicle Voltron for help. Their Balmera is under distress, and no one is entirely certain how or why. The team shows up to help with evacuations, and they discover the Balmera isn’t dying - it’s pregnant. Everyone’s excited, since a new Balmera hasn’t been born in millennia, but there’s still the issue of tremors & other seismic activity putting the Balmerans at risk.

Lion Goddess - this would be an overarching story in the first season, possibly extending into a second season. It would start with the original Paladins getting dreams/visions/flashbacks of the Lions. Pidge & Shiro would be in Vehicle Voltron more than the others, so they’re the ones who we would see exhibiting symptoms first. Pidge might be dreaming about Green before her alarm goes off at the start of her day, or Shiro might hear some whisper over his shoulder & find nothing there, that sort of thing. The two would probably talk about these flashes & dreams with each other, chalking it up to old memories or PTSD (or one of them might try to pull a Steven Universe & keep their trauma bundled up until they explode into a Kaiju of guilt & self-loathing). This could even be something Shiro & Curtis regularly discuss, as Curtis wants to support Shiro through whatever’s going on. But as the other Paladins make their cameos, we may see them showing symptoms as well (Keith May be restless or irritable, Lance May be distracted or lethargic, Hunk might flinch if folks start talking about lions, space anomalies, or Quintessence, etc.). But eventually everyone will get together & realize they’re being Called by Voltron. Or Allura? Or the Universe in general. This revelation may coincide with reports of distant planets sighting giant flying robotic cats in their area, scaring off folks who come too close to their territory. Then it’ll be time to get the Gang back together to find the Lions & see why they’ve reappeared after so long & what’s going on. Through some complicated shenanigans, it’ll be revealed that the Lions have gathered the life force of Allura & need the Paladins to help with channeling her energies into regenerating her. Not sure if Lotor would be regenerated during this process as well - while his body kind of melted into the Sincline robot, his consciousness/soul/whatever could still be trapped within the space between dimensions, or his energies became entangled with Allura’s as they both drifted in the ether & by bringing back one, they bring back the other. Bottom line, yay, Allura’s back! And after a few episodes in a coma (regeneration is exhausting), she’s up & about and ready for some closure. She & Lance can try to pick things up where they left off & realize they still care about each other, but just don’t work as a romantic couple. She & Coran can get an emotional reunion to make up for Coran being snubbed in the Season 8 finale. Maybe Allura’s QuintessenceBending will have grown exponentially, and now she spreads new life wherever she goes, or maybe channeling all of Honerva’s stolen Quintessence into jumpstarting the Multiverse has left her completely drained of her gifts. If Lotor’s back as well, the two will have a lot to discuss after their shared time in the ether.

Anyway, those were my thoughts on a Vehicle Voltron spin-off. Am I the only one?

#voltron legendary defender #vehicle voltron

[viranlly]

What To Expect When You’re Not Expecting The Outdoors in Vancouver

in partnership with Tourism Vancouver

It’s no doubt that Vancouver is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Some even named them one of the best cities to live in. Yes, I absolutely agree (I’ve been here 11 years now, somehow). I mean... what’s not to like? Fresh air, the mountains, oceans, and of course, the great outdoors that put Vancouver on the map as a global tourist destination.

But what if, you’re not even remotely interested in the outdoors? *I have to admit, I’m probably the least outdoorsy person out there (don’t @ me!)* Will Vancouver still be enjoyable if one is not planning to go to Capilano bridge or doing the Grouse Grind? 

The answer is yes.

Vancouver is also home to some of the most talented, hard-working and innovative chefs, bartenders, and restauranteurs in the game. Making it a city that’s filled with delicious eats, drinks, and exceptional coffee culture - don’t believe me? Ask Chris Morocco from Bon Appetit Magazine ;) Plus, we are blessed with the bountiful amount of fresh ingredients, whether it’s fruits, veggies, seafood particularly, and even meat.

Every January, the city also hosts the annual Dine Out Vancouver Festival, a culinary festival that invites both locals and visitors to explore and experience what Vancouver has to offer. For the 18th edition of Dine Out Vancouver this year, there will be 318 restaurants participating in this two-week-long festivity. If you’re local, this time of the year is also a fun time to play tourist in your own city - which, I do, occasionally.

While I might not know where Garibaldi lake is on the map, and I definitely don’t know where to go for the best three-day camping trip (not that I want to do that ever), I do know exactly where you should be sipping your martini and eat your world-renowned aburi sushi. You can trust me on that.

Without trying to sound like a know-it-all, here’s how, in my ideal world, I would spend a typical 48 hours in Vancouver. 

8:30 a.m - Ride Cycle Club.

Nothing like starting your morning with a loud, steamy and sweaty spin class. The playlist is always on-point; the instructors, typically with a sexy, raspy voice, definitely gets you going first thing in the morning. There’s so much joy in watching everyone move to the beat, all together. It’s an experience for sure.

10:30 a.m - #dailycortado at Revolver.

If you know me at all, Revolver is practically my morning home base. The rustic, charming, long hallway is usually filled with highly (or soon to be highly) caffeinated individuals, chatting, working, or geeking out about coffee and other stuff (anything from cameras to vintage Rolexes). The menu is simple and straight forward, with beans selection rotating daily -- hence, Revolver. Solid pour-over bar, well-executed, picture-perfect espresso-based bevies too. But this is not the place to order a skinny, two pumps vanilla, one pump hazelnut, caramel macchiato - if that’s even a thing lolz. 

11:30 a.m - Snack and fresh flowers at The Birds & The Beets.

By snack, I mean, a freshly sliced of pillowy yet perfectly crusty sourdough with butter and sea salt - as simple as that. Or do the one with their house-made preserves if you’re fancy. Should you need another jolt of caffeine, their coffee is pretty damn good too. Pick up some fresh flowers on your way out too. ALSO, come back later at night when this cute coffee shop turns into Juicebar,  a natural wine bar where all the cool kids hang out and drink magnums of pet-nat all night.

12:30 p.m - Deep-fried everything tacos at Tacofino Gastown.

It’s problematic how addicting the crispy chicken tacos at Tacofino can be. I’ve had my days when all I ate was variations of this crispy chicken taco: as a burrito, as a ‘salad’ bowl, as a taco again, and repeat. Juicy tender chicken,  pickled veggies, epazote chimichurri, drizzled with buttermilk chili crema - mouthwatering. Their fish tacos are also delicious, it’s, as a matter of fact, their claim to fame, nuff said. You can’t also say no to their nachos, with a glass (or pitcher) of margs, obvs.

2 p.m - Stroll and shop through Gastown.

Drooling over luscious house-plants and Japanese cookware at Old Faithful Shop, selecting new fragrances at Le Labo, I also might as well pick up body balm at Aesop. Oh, and of course, stopping by Roden Gray to see some Thom Browne.

4 p.m - Spritz o’clock at Di Beppe.

Get a table at the cafe to people-watch while drinking bottled, branded Aperol Spritz. It’s an afternoon well spent, you gotta wait til’ 5:30 for happy hour anyways ;)

5:30 p.m - Happy Hour at L’abattoir.

L’abattoir, hands down, has one of the most beautiful bars in the city, with one of the strongest beverage programs too. The cocktails, both original and classic, are always crafted with such passion and precision. The Avocado Gimlet particularly is now a L’abattoir and a Vancouver classic: bright, boozy and herbaceous. Their wine list is a fun one to explore. Whether you’re feeling playful and adventurous, or classic and familiar, the team will find the wine for you. Their happy hour is probably my favorite one in the city: short but sweet. Make sure you make it there 5:30 on the dot to score the highly coveted bar seat (find me in the corner of the bar). You MUST order their iconic baked Pacific oysters, covered in a mountain of foamy truffle-garlic butter. Oh! and the pan-fried sweetbreads on toast is unforgettably delicious. L’abbatoir Dine Out menu can be found here.

7 p.m - Dinner at PiDGin.

One of a few restaurants in Vancouver that figured out how to perfectly marry the east and the west. An Asian-inspired menu, by the way of French cooking, using the freshest ingredients from the Pacific North West. Every dish is always a burst of flavours: rich and indulging without being pretentious. The umami-filled Foie Gras rice bowl is one of the most drool-worthy dishes. So uniquely, and iconically Pidgin. It’s a dish that has stood the test of time and has been there since the restaurant opened its’ doors six years ago now. Their beverage program is also focused on showcasing Asian spirits and flavours: numerous Japanese whisky, craft cocktails, and an impressive sake library. Explore Pidgin six-course Dine Out menu here.

10:30 p.m - Nightcap at Botanist.

I’ve talked about Botanist a lot, and I mean, a lot. While they’re still relatively new, they managed to sky-rocket their way to the top of the restaurant scene. With their award-winning bar team and innovative bar menu, it’s no surprise that Botanist is one of the best bars in the country. Sitting at the bar, sipping Botanist martini, while geeking out about cocktails and spirits is always a fun way to end the night. Botanist martini is an ideal nightcap: boozy, velvety, and obviously tasty. It’s like a vesper that gets an elegant Fairmont makeover, with a Pacific North West influence. This year, Botanist is hosting a Punch Brunch as part of Dine Out Vancouver AND to kick off Vancouver Cocktail Week next year. So exciting!

Day 2

10 a.m - Breakfast at Nemesis.

A hip and happening coffee shop with an impressive brunch menu and delectable baked goods. Of course, the coffee is stellar, and the space is beautiful with bright lights streaming through the windows. Their brunch and pastries, however, have been stealing the show for quite some time now. If you’re in Gastown, the cauliflower hash and the steak and egg are essential. If you happen to be across the bridge, the burrata and scrambled eggs on croissant loaf and is to-die-for. Not to forget their dreamy, kinda fancy croissants (think about Reuben sandwich, strawberry cheesecake in the form of croissant kind of fancy). Oh, and both of their cookies: the insanely luscious classic chocolate chip and the updated ferrero-esque cookie sandwich are worth crossing the bridge for.

12.30 p.m - Aburi lunch at Miku.

If there’s that one place I usually take visitors for the sake of impressing them, it’s Miku. It’s probably one of the most well-known Vancouver restaurants that even Beyonce was spotted dining there. The menu is unique. The world-famous aburi sushi is iconic. And the seafood? It doesn’t get any fresher than what Miku offers. Let’s not forget the multi-million dollar waterfront view, overlooking the harbour and North Vancouver. Their sister restaurant Minami is doing a Dine Out Lunch special too, by the way.

2:30 p.m - Nap.

It’s absolutely necessary.

5:30 p.m - Dinner at Como Taperia.

Oh what an exciting time when Como finally opened its’ doors in Mount Pleasant last year! The premise? A no-fuss-no-muss Spanish tapas restaurant with vibrant food, fabulous Gin and Tonics, and unbeatable conservas list. The room has been buzzing with people since day one - until recently they placed second on Enroute Magazine Best new restaurant. Even more people are now trying to get in to Como. The foie burger is simply a must, and so is the crispy eggplant, drizzled with honey. The oxtail, pepper and frites is so tenderly delicious. They’re also doing fun happy hour starting at 4, offering free tapas- just like they do in Spain. Drink the El Bandarra vermut on tap while munching on the tapa, or make sure to check out their daily tortilla feature.

8 p.m - Cocktails at Hawksworth’s Bar.

Hawksworth is probably as swanky as a Vancouver restaurant can get. While the dining room is very much upscale and can be intimidating, the cocktail bar is lively and chic. Again, get a spot at the bar and start with the Hotel Georgia Cocktail: bright, juicy and refreshing, inspired by the historic hotel itself. If you’re feeling extra fancy, they have a ‘from the vault’ menu that features classic cocktails made with vintage, extremely rare spirits.

10:30 p.m - A burger and nightcap at Pourhouse.

Located in the charming water street, Pourhouse is a cocktail bar nestled in one of Gastown’s historic buildings. The room itself is very old-school America in the prohibition era - luxurious, charming and welcoming. The menu is fairly simple but everything is well-executed. The Pourhouse burger is particularly memorable. I’ve vouched for this burger as the best one in town over and over again - no, I don’t want to argue with anyone on this. Classic cocktails are always crafted so meticulously here: Manhattan, Boulevardier, or a cognac Sazerac. You can’t go wrong with any (or all) of them. Their Dine Out menu this year is outstanding and really showcase what the team can do in the kitchen.

Well, that’s one hell of a list for y’all. I surely hope this helps with planning your delicious next trip to Vancouver! 

Discover the full list of restaurants participating in this year’s Dine Out Vancouver Festival here!

See y’all in the 604 soon!

instagram @viranlly

food | lifestyle | restaurant

#DOVF #Vancouver #Vancouver Food #Travel #Travel Story #Foodie #Vancouver restaurants #Dine Out Vancouver #popular #radar #feature

[paladinspride]

(So don't hate me but) I actually enjoyed season 8 and I actually liked the epilogue (again... one of the few). It gave me closure that the show was over. But, I still would like to see how the characters interacted after the epilogue. So how do you think that Keith and Lance would come together and all that (cos I highly doubt that all of them are never going to see each other EVER again).

Too be honest, I didn’t hate S8 either. My expectations were low so I was entertained for the most part. 

I think a lot of people went in to S8 with high hopes for things I figured were never going to happen and invested too much of themselves in a TV show so emotions were high and the negativity has feed more negativity. 

That being said, I do think the show runners misread their audience, made some questionable decisions and a lot of the criticism is valid. On the whole though, Voltron is still better than most shows of a similar demographic.  

I think the show runners thought they were going to have more time to tell their story or misjudged how long it would take to tell their story, and they did what they thought was best to wrap things up. I don’t think they intentionally sabotaged the show or anything. They were just a bit out of touch. 

Voltron will still hold a special place in my heart. 

*

As for how do I think the characters interacted after the epilogue? 

I think Shiro remained at the Garrison. I am not sure how Curtis and him would have developed a relationship if he left? I think he may take on an instructor role now though since he “left the war behind” and works with the younger students. 

Since he works at the Garrison, he still sees Pidge quite a bit. The Holts have him and Curtis over for dinner regularly. 

As for Hunk, as much as I like him and Shay as a ship, I can’t see their life styles or anatomy, if you know what I mean, being compatible enough for a long term relationship. They see each other for a while but after a mutual break up, they remain friends. Hunk travels the universe for his culinary business but the Garrison remains his home base. He and Pidge grow closer and eventually get married and have a family. Hunk takes the paternity leave and cuts back his trips some once they have kids. Sometimes, Pidge and their son and daughter accompany him on them. 

Hunk keeps in touch with Lance and uses some of the produce, milk and cheese Lance produces on his farm in his meals. 

Lance isolates himself to his farm at first and Keith worries about him so he makes sure to touch base with him on a regular basis. He also gets supplies from Lance’s farm for his relief efforts but it is more of an excuse to check in on him. Keith asks Lance for advice on different things, like how to deal with squabbles between Axca, Ezor and Zethrid since Lance has experience with siblings. They begin to look forward to their chats and become really good friends. 

At his families insistence, Lance tries dating again but he is unable to find someone who is accepting of his trauma and dedication to Allura’s memory. Keith supports him through each break up. 

As for “home”, Keith bounces between his mother and Kolivan’s place and the Garrison at first. But as Shiro and Curtis spend more and more time together and Pidge and Hunks start exploring their relationship, he spends more time on Lance’s farm. Lance’s family love having him. 

Once it is known Veronica and Axca are seeing each other. They rope Keith into bringing them home with him so they can see them too. 

Keith and Lance get together as a couple at Shiro and Curtis’s wedding. At the dance, Keith notices a melancholy Lance watching all the paired off couples dancing. He asks Lance to dance, even though it is a waltz. Lance’s face brightens and they dance the night away. A few dances and glasses of champagne in, they kiss, and their life as a couple begins. 

The gang get together every year on Allura’s Day and various other functions that Coran and Romelle invite them too on Altea, for kids birthday celebrations,  they arrange group camping trips and adventures and try to meet up every few months at least. Their kids are all friends and they remain an important part of each others lives.

I just went back and reread your questions and I think I answered more than you were looking for. Oops! I hope you enjoyed my post S8 headcanons anyways!

#klance #veraxca #curtis x shiro #vld s8 #vld #the paladins of voltron #jenni imagines stuff #Anonymous #Jenni replies

[for-the-love-of-bangtan]

Ringwanderung Teaser

A/N: I’ve had this story idea floating around for a while, and I figured in order to write it I would have to write it as a fanfiction. So, here it is, a little drabble I wrote about YoongixReader. I might just turn this into a story. 

1k

I met him on Craigslist. I was seventeen and my parents had just kicked me out of the house because they caught me having sex with a girl. So there I was, homeless and I had a broken nose. I was sleeping on my best friend's couch for a couple of weeks. I didn't go to school during that time, because I was working two jobs so that I could afford an apartment. I was looking on Craigslist and I found him. He was twenty and looking for a roomate. He was still in college, studying music production. I thought he was handsome, and my stupid young brain figured, "okay, my parents hate me and my life is shit, I might as well have a hot roomate." When I first met him, the first thing I noticed about him was how short he was. He almost kicked me out of his apartment when I pointed it out to him. I think he chose me to be his roomate because he pitied me, I did tell him the reason, me - a seventeen year old - was looking for a roomate. So I moved in. I didn't have a lot of stuff, because my parents got rid of most of my things before I had the chance to collect them. I remember he didn't offer to help me move my stuff into the apartment. It was a small apartment, and I immediately filled it with plants. He told me he thought my plants and I were strange, because sometimes I would sing or talk to them. I ignored him. For the first couple of months he didn't talk to me much. I didn't try to be his friend. I focused on school; I had dropped out and gone to online school. I worked at a hostess club at night. I remember seeing the fathers of some of my classmates at the club. I remember seeing my own father there. I got fired after I spit in his face. That night I got drunk with one of my regulars, Mr. Seong. Mr. Seong was in love with me. I remember Yoongi - thats my roomate- got mad at me for passing out in the hallway that night. He finally asked me what I did that could let me afford an apartment, and I told him the truth. I think he was angry about it, but he tried not to show it. Yoongi didn't talk to me for a couple of days, not that I was used to him talking to me anyways. I didn't think Yoongi was an asshole, he was just like me, he kept to himself. One day, Yoongi came into my room and told me he found me a job waitressing at a nearby restaurant. i kind of hated the job, but I never told Yoongi. When I graduated from high school Yoongi took me out to dinner. We ran into a friend of my parents. They asked me why I stayed in Korea when my parents moved to the U.S. I didn't know how to react. My parents left the country without telling me. But I remember Yoongi holding my hand. I didn't cry about it, not in front of Yoongi, at least, but I knew he knew that I cried nonetheless. Yoongi was the one to convince me to go to college, even though I couldn't afford it on a waitresses salary, but he refused to let me go back to being a hostess, threatening to kick me out of the apartment. I knew that he had no say in what I did for a living, and if he kicked me out I could always find another apartment, but a part of me liked that an older man cared about me. So I went to college, I majored in the arts because I didn't have parents to tell me that it was a useless degree. Yoongi and I finally became friends, but a year later he graduated and left for his mandatory two year military service. It was lonely without him there. I didn't bother getting another roomate to fill his room, even though he insisted. Instead, I filled his room with plants so that there would be some life in it. I went back to working as a hostess at the club, just so i could afford to pay rent now that I was alone. Mr. Seong offered to help me pay for college if I went on dates with him, so I did. I broke up with him and quit my job as a hostess the day I went to pick up Yoongi after his service ended. I had visited him before. I remember during one of the visits he asked me why I came to see him, and I told him I came because he was my best friend. He smiled that stupid cute gummy smile. I took him to dinner the night he came back, and we got pretty shitfaced. Yoongi DJ'ed a midnight radio show for two years, before he got a job with Big Hit as a producer. He'd write and produce his own music, but released it under his underground name Agust D. At BigHit, he met Hoseok, a choreographer, and Namjoon, another producer. You were friend's with Yoongi's friends, including his college best friend Seokjin, who was studying culinary arts. In college you made friends with Taehyung, who was studying acting but had minored in photography, and Jimin, his roomate who majored in dance. At work, you became close friends with Jungkook, an underclassman who worked at the restaurant. I graduated from college and continued waitressing, photographing on the side. Taehyung got a contract as a model, acting in dramas here and there. Jimin worked as a senior instructor at a dance studio. I had no idea what I was doing with my life. But at least I had my friends. At least I had Yoongi.

#bts yoongi #min yoongi #yoongi x reader #bts suga #yoongi fanfic #yoongi oneshot

[jae-bummer]

BTS as Teachers

Request: You said you wanted some Idols as ____ and here I am with a request for one! BTS as teachers (if you haven't done it already). Thank youuuu 💜💜💜

Namjoon: English Lit Teacher

awkward and clumsy 101

knocks his blackboard from the wall on the daily

existential discussions before ten a.m. 

accidentally gives students test answers when they ask for clarification on a question 

that teacher who gives you the grade YOU think you deserve

cause he thinks grades are just a social construct anyhow

somehow the next in line to become principal???

Jin: Home Economics/Culinary Arts Instructor

mr. kim, master of all things powerpoint 

meaning he uses ALL the transitions and sound effects possible

every lesson has a corresponding slideshow

decided each student should bake a quiche for their final

until he’s 17 quiches deep and regretting every decision he’s made in life that has brought him to this point

students enroll to catch a glimpse of mr. worldwide handsome

but stay enrolled for the cringey dad jokes 

Yoongi: Music Theory Instructor 

catch him in the teacher’s lounge

surviving off of cold coffee and vending machine candy

“you can call me mr. y” “why?” “that’s the spirit” 

would rather set himself on fire than go to another parent/teacher conference

always teaching with background music 

the little light that ignites in his eyes when he’s really interested in his lesson 

has never actually assigned homework because he hates grading papers

Hoseok: Physical Education Teacher

coach hobi in headbands 

coach hobi in shorts

coach hobi enticing mr. y to actually sit outside in the stands to survey his “teaching style”??? 

run laps? climb rope? do jumping jacks? 

nah, crab soccer every day. 

gives grades based on attitude and determination

lack of participation will literally ruin his day

Jimin: Health Instructor 

greets each student by name as they walk into his class

legit geeks out over making sure his students are healthy and happy

constantly shipping students

and finding secret joy in pairing up said ships for group assignments

have you ever seen a human turn red in less than 60 seconds? 

then take a peek at mr. park trying to teach 15-year-old’s sex ed. 

deep sighs as he goes through the anonymous question box during that unit

Taehyung: Theater Teacher

let’s set the scene: 

first day of school

and he sits in a desk like any other student 

silently convinces damn near the whole class that they don’t have an instructor this year

until he begins to stand on his chair, and slow clap for his own performance

shows up to every class in costume

guaranteed A+ because he’s too soft to fail anyone 

Jungkook: Art Instructor 

takes some time to warm up to a new class

but it’s cool bc it takes the class some time to understand his quirks anyway

can always find some sort of compliment to give about a student’s work

no matter how awkward the delivery 

“i uh..um...really think...if this was the last picture I ever saw...i uh, i would probably be cool with that? probably?” 

scream-teaching over taehyung’s method acting in the classroom next door

secretly aspires to be principal 

#bts #bangtan boys #jimin #yoongi #taehyung #namjoon #jin #jungkook #jhope #hoseok #suga #rapmonster #bts headcanon #bts as teachers #bts scenario #bts au

[superas]

they want me to do what?

OK... y'all must think I’m crazy. I’ve obviously ditched the blog for a more current form of social media... Instagram... or insta as the cool kids call it. Well, I don’t know if they’re cool or not, but they’re a lot younger than I am so that’s a start I guess.  

So why the sudden need to blog? Writers block! Plain and simple. The Valedictorian process is a different one around these parts. Oh, PS, I’ve been nominated from my class as Valedictorian. 

So, here’s the run down. There are three different “schools” within NSCC. My program falls under the school of business. Every program within each of the three schools can nominate a candidate. That candidate then writes a speech and presents to the deciders... who then choose a valedictorian for the program. For more information, see confusing in the dictionary. Does anyone use dictionaries anymore? I don't even know if some of the grads would understand the reference. That's actually the beginning to one of the many speeches I’ve started within the last week.  

Yes, I said many. Some of them are captivating and funny, others are a little dull and cliché, but all of them have one thing in common... they are not complete.  

How does one even address such a wide variety of people? The school of business is far more than just Culinary Arts... but do I know anyone who isn’t taking Culinary? No. Can I relate to them on an educational level? Probably not. Let’s be honest, I’m probably not the best person for this job. I tend to ramble. I have trouble completing thoughts and most of the time I can barely spit a sentence out without sounding like I have a mouth full of marbles. And let’s not forget the elephant in the room... I’m 30! Do these 20 somethings really have that much in common with me? No. I’m not a millennial. I care about the Kardashians (I had to look up how to spell Kardashian) and unless it came out before 2006 chances are good I don’t know who sings the song currently being played on the radio. Do people even listen to the radio still? See... I’m out of touch! There’s no class tomorrow and what am I doing? I’m sitting home, in bed, in my pink housecoat, writing this! How lame is that? I do have snacks though... good ones too... you should be jealous of my snacks.  

Anyway... back to my current predicament. How to do I write a graduation speech that will motivate, inspire and captivate an audience when I don’t even know my audience. It’s not like we ever get out of the kitchen! I get 10 emails a week about different lunch time activities we can participate in... have I ever gone to one? NO! We’re making lunch! Just once I would have liked to experienced Mindfulness Meditation in room 2101, it would probably help with the anxiousness I'm feeling about this speech. But it gets worse... not only do I not know anyone else in the school except the 30ish people who wear whites all day (we stick out like sore thumbs... the jackets are like a beacon for us to get together and be loners.), I don’t even know what programs fall under the school of business category! Who am I even addressing!? I assume the people taking business... but who else? If anyone at school is reading this... please remind me to find that out on Tuesday.  

I could say things like ‘be the best you can be’ or ‘take chances, make mistakes, get messy’ but those feel redundant... and, I stole that last one from Miss Frizzle. Although... that is pretty sound advice. Maybe I’m onto something there. I’ve tried finding life advice that was a little outside the box from some of my favourite movies... but I’m not 100% sure how I can make building up an immunity to Iocaine powder a good life skill. I mean, it worked in the Princess Bride. But is Iocaine even available over the counter? Inconceivable.  

But I digress. Graduation is an exciting time! I still remember Kelly's speech all those years ago when we left NSER. She made it personal! About us. Well... mainly me and my clumsiness. Somehow though I don't think the shower story would really fit in here. But, if I can work it in, I will for you Kell!  

I've watched several commencement addresses in the last week and took the same thing away from all of them. Be different. Stand out. Don't give the cliché speech about following your dreams or the best is yet to come. Well that's easy enough to avoid I think. I'm can be quite a cynical person. And I've always been a little different. It took me a long time to decide what I wanted out of life. And now, at the age of 30, I’m finally doing what I love. I have found my passion, my calling and my art form. I've found friends with common interests. I have instructors who let me take chances and make mistakes. And I have a family who has always pushed me to be the best I can be no matter what the circumstance.  

I want people to remember what I say, but more importantly, I want them to remember the things they learned at Kingstec. How to be kind, to show empathy and sympathy. To support others and to always remember where you came from and allow that to push you along to where you're going. To think critically about the opinions of others... and your own. And most importantly, be yourself. Be proud of what you've accomplished, but don't forget that the people around you are accomplishing things too.  

I'm probably not the best person to write this speech. But writing this blog has proved to me that I can in fact complete some thoughts. Now hopefully I'll come up with an exciting valedictorian speech by the end of the week. Or I'll find one online I can plagiarize... oh wait... there's probably something about that in the student handbook.  

Thanks for reading lovies. Please leave me some feedback. I am VERY open to speech suggestions and thoughts!  

#speech time #graduation #nscc #kingstec #valedictorian #hopeful #scared #writers block #help me

[zybynarx]

Hunay Bodybuilder AU

So I was thinking about Shay the other day... and I was like, “...she’s really buff? Why has no one come up with a bodybuilder AU for her?” And it only got solidified as Hunay when I was doing some research and realized that part of bodybuilding training goes with a lot of eating good foods (usually protein and usually during the off season). So yeah...here’s the AU nobody really asked for...

SHAY - New comer to the bodybuilding scene. Partly due to her naturally larger physique, partly because she wants to prove to herself that she can do hard things. She is confident that she can do well, but that doesn’t mean her journey won’t have some bumps along the way. She would compete under the Physique category.

HUNK - Awesome best friend who has totally NOT been crushing on Shay for the last 500 years... He puts his culinary skills to good use to make sure she eats what she needs to build muscle and keep her physique. He’s also the one who connects Shay to the rest of her support crew.

ALLURA - Retired bodybuilding coach (she coached her now husband Shiro), but brought back into the scene when she sees the potential Shay has (she just needs some more direction).

SHIRO - Retired bodybuilder, due to an accident where he lost his arm, and happily married to his former trainer, Allura. Provides support and extra help to Shay when needed.

LANCE - Part time theater performer, part time Zumba instructor. Allura knew that Lance was just the perfect mix that Shay needed to help her become more coordinated and graceful for her routines. 

KEITH - Working on a his engineering bachelor’s degree to become an astronaut, but does photography on the side as a hobby/a way to pick up some extra cash. He becomes Shay’s personal photographer.

PIDGE - A sort of tag-along during the journey until she realizes she has her own family connections to get Shay sponsored.

So basically Hunk has connections to everyone that ends up helping Shay. Lance and Pidge are Hunk’s best friends during college, Lance and Keith are dating, Keith is Shiro’s younger brother, and Shiro is married to Allura. Then of course Pidge who later becomes Shay’s sponsor.

I imagine Shay’s family would be supportive of Shay’s decision to become a bodybuilder, but of course they are concerned because “they’re probably going to pump you full of steroids.” “Don’t you think people will be intimidated by you if you start to bulk up?” “How are you going to train and keep working at the same time?” So with this and her personal physical challenges that come with training, Shay is in for a lot of growing pains. But at least she’s got a solid support crew (and her family comes around in the end, no worries).

Also, Zethrid is a fellow bodybuilder and sort of Shay’s friendly rival?

...anyways. Just wanted to get that AU out there.

#Voltron #voltron legendary defender #hunay #klance #shallura #Shay #Hunk Garrett #Allura #Takashi Shirogane #Lance McClain #Keith Kogane #Pidge Gunderson #bodybuilder AU #hunk: babe do the thing #shay: *flexes* #hunk: omg blessed

[chefstevenhodge60]

As A Professional Culinary Chef, I have experienced the many sides of the food industry. The Good, The Bad & The Ugly. The industry is volatile and extremely fickle, and like a wild stallion, you have to know and understand how to bridle and control this animal we call The Food Industry.

My Story: I feel very fortunate at times to grow up in this industry. My mom owned a cafe in Dallas when I was third grade, and my grandfather owned several businesses as well in San Francisco.

But a little earlier than that, I remember being in my grandmothers kitchen, watching her and my grandfather make us breakfast, lunch and dinner. Although none of my elders graduated high school, they taught me lessons that no school could or has ever taught anyone. ‘How to become successful when all the odds are stacked against you’.

With the skills she learned working as a lunch lady, and with only $500, my mom opened and started what was then called, ‘The Bus Stop Cafe’, bringing in customers from around the West Dallas Area, long before the area became the food destination that it is today, with my step grandfather in the kitchen, the spot became very popular in no time.

Fast forward a few years, and traveling west to San Francisco for what I thought was a summer break, I found myself working in my biological grandfathers hamburger restaurant, BANKS BURGERS.

Don’t feel that you need to have tons of credentials to open a restaurant or sell food. My grandfather, only possessed with a sixth grade education, not only owned one of the most popular joints in the San Fran area, he also owned a soul food restaurant, liquor store, dry cleaners and apartment complex, and I did say “OWNED”. So if he can, You CAN!

So anyway, I worked for my grandfather during the times that I was off during my summer breaks from college in Texas and North Dakota and learned so much with them as well.

Television vs. Reality: The Industry Has Also Become Extremely Diluted With Hype and Fantasy. From the angry yelling characters you see on the cable channels to the food competitions that you see on the networks, it’s all hype and not what you will find in 99.9% of kitchens around the planet.

Granted, I have developed some great friendships and become friends with some very colorful characters from my time in culinary school till now, not one is like what you see on television. The kitchen sometimes can be likened to the basketball court, ping pong table, or poker game, there is competition with only one spot at the top. Cooks compete for status in the kitchen, when it come to raises as well as rank. However, at the end of the day, it’s always a team effort when getting food out to the customers, ‘why we do what we do!’

I owe a great deal of gratitude to the instructors I had while in culinary school, some of the most talented people in the industry, I learned a great deal. Thank You All

#chefstevenhodge #personalchef #catering #soulfood2go

[theliterarywolf]

Oh boi you went to Art Institute? I wanna hear your experience!

Oh, they didn’t even let me in through the door! 

Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but here’s a rundown of my experience with the Art Institute here in SoCal since I did a complete write-up on here via a reblog a long while back.

So, when I was in my last few months of high school: bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, GPA Rank 18, I was convinced that I wanted to get into video game design. 

(Later on in life I’ve realized that what I really wanted to do was concept development and story-writing for video games, but I digress)

I initially wanted to attend The Academy of Arts in San Francisco but a combination of lack of school funds and my mother not wanting to support me going to the ‘modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah’ had me looking elsewhere.

And, wouldn’t you know it, the walls of my high school guidance-counselor office were plastered with posters and fliers for the local Art Institute (I say local but it was still, what, five cities away from where I went to high school).

So I applied... And I was accepted! And I begged my mother until the point of her ears bleeding to take me to the ‘Welcome New Students’ orientation that they were hosting. 

So my Aunt who had a better car and actually lived one city closer to the school (so, again, that would still make the school 4 cities away) offered to take us and come along. 

So we drive and drive until we finally get to the unassuming building that was the Art Institute... located in the middle of a business complex. Which is such a great sign for a place of higher education.

So we go in, get some complimentary box-packaged muffins, water bottles, and Nutrigrain bars (a great spread for a school wanting to show off their Culinary Arts program but, again, I was a naive babby mammoth), and were escorted into a small conference room with several other families to watch a demo reel of student work.

Which was some of the most depressing shite I have ever seen in my life, now that I think back on it.

So after that, the hosts of the orientation went on and on for a bit with their slogans of ‘Creative Education’ and ‘At the Art Institutes, we believe that Creativity is More than Just a Word’. At that point, however, my aunt who happens to be a middle school teacher in a neighboring school district is carefully trying to tell my mom ‘I... don’t think this is an accredited school’ and also asking me ‘Are you sure this is something that you want to do?’ 

Again, naive, bright-eyed me brushed her off and kept up my excitement. 

So, at this point, the hosts separated the potential students from their parents and families to give them small taster-courses of what they can expect upon starting. 

I was ushered into the animation room where the on-duty professor, bless his soul, actually seemed to be into what he was teaching. He had us do some small expression exercises with characters from the Mr. Men Show and he actually gave me a shout-out on my posing. 

So, giddy from that small taste, we were escorted back to our families. As I walked back to my mother and aunt I noticed that they were looking more than a little apprehensive about the whole thing. 

But I was far too giddy about everything. I was ready to sign up and get started! Then, of course, came the topic of tuition. 

This is where, to this day, looking back I am beyond disgusted with what happened. 

After the orientation and my ‘acceptance’, my mother and I were getting constant phone calls from Art Institutes. ‘We need to discuss money! So, about tuition..?! You wouldn’t want your admission to disappear would you~?’ So, my mother and I go back to the school on a different day after we had gotten our car fixed so it could drive longer distances without overheating. 

We walk into the school and are briskly pointed to the small cramped hallway that led to the lone Financial Aid office. So, after waiting for a few hours, the Financial Aid advisor finally calls us in. 

We sit down in front of her desk and, hey, the woman was a Nigerian! My mother’s Nigerian and I’m Nigerian-American! This was going to turn out great! 

... Allow me to provide a brief renenactment of the conversation we had.

F.A. Advisor: So why haven’t you filed for Financial Aid?!

Me: I... I don’t know how...

F.A. Advisor: What do you mean you don’t know how?! Aren’t you about to graduate?! How do you not know how to do something so simple?

Mother: Can you maybe calm down a bit? She has her heart set on this place, you could at least let her know how to go about doing so?

F.A. Advisor: I don’t have time for this. If you want to go to school, you need to fill out Financial Aid, okay?! So go do it!!

So my mother walks me out of the office but, a moment later, she goes back in and closes the door behind her. I sat there for fifteen minutes before the door slammed open: my mother exiting with tears in her eyes and harshly telling me that it was time to go and that I couldn’t go this school. 

All the while driving home I hated my mother for not being able to help me get into school. We had been through so much: homelessness, not having food to eat, our lives being threatened, her being tossed between jobs, me not having decent clothes to wear at times... I was so pissed that I couldn’t have this one thing. 

Even when, later on, I heard my mother talking to my aunt on the phone, sobbing that she had gotten on her knees and begged this woman to see if there was anyway she could think of me being able to apply for financial aid. 

My mother was a single-mom, didn’t have a Green Card or a social because my father, who is still in jail or whatever facility they have for sociopathic assholes, decided that he 1. Didn’t want my mother to be too independent and 2. Didn’t want to work with any ‘fucking white people’ on my mother’s immigration status. So, of course, I had no parental information to put on a FAFSA application. 

No FAFSA, my scholarship applications hadn’t come through, I had nothing. 

And the Art Institutes didn’t want to give me anything. No help, no chances, no ‘Creative Education Made More Affordable’.

They just wanted another warm body to take out $80,000 of loans for their For-Profit shenanigans.

If it wasn’t for one of the wife of an elder at the church we were attending at the time knowing the inner-workings of Financial Aid from her time as a school advisor, I probably would never have been able to get my Associate’s, let alone the Bachelor’s that I’m finishing up now. 

So, yes, that was my experience with the Art Institutes. 

And, in hindsight, I guess something was watching out for me. Because with all of the news of worthless degrees, mountains of debt, inept instructors, and the US government even suing the company that owns the schools, maybe I dodged a giant bullet.

#look at that #it's another Art Institute story #jazzy-boy-extraordinaire

[secondchaircellist-a]

Scottish Bacon and Other Tales

I thought since it’s Munday that I would share some stories from when I was in culinary school.  

I worked during the day so I took the night courses and there were a whole six of us in the class.  Me and another girl and the rest were guys.  Well, the girl was super annoying –– like one of those know it all girls but the guys were totally cool.  One guy named Chris was like 6′5″ ... he was super tall or at least he was to me –– I’m only 5′2″ though! Anyways, he ended up being a really good friend in the class.

Our instructor was Chef Mackenzie and he was from Scotland.  He worked in restaurants all over the UK and when he relocated to America he worked in some really upscale restaurants before becoming an instructor at the school.  Well, on our first night we were going to prepare a simple meal following some recipes.  So as he passing out a recipe to everyone, he looks at me and says, “Do you like bacon?” In his Scottish accent, of course.

And I say, “I love bacon! I just made some this morning for breakfast.”

He goes real quiet for a moment and then starts laughing.  “I said baking ... not bacon,” he says very slowly and then he hands me a recipe for baked apples.

Well, my face goes red from embarrassment and then I started thinking, “Oh my god, this guy is going to think I’m an idiot.  I’m probably going to fail his class now.”  However, that little flub actually must have endeared me to his heart or something because from there out he was always doing extra special things for me.  One my birthday he made me waffles with a mickey mouse waffle iron .... One time he also made me a rose out of radish (hahaha! because the best way to a woman’s heart is giving her a rose made out of a root vegetable XD)   I’m pretty sure he was trying to flirt with me ... which he was a nice guy but he was probably twice my age!

Another chef was teaching the bread making coarse and I don’t remember his name but he was a real weird dude.  He was obsessed with Indiana Jones and liked to hum the theme song while he was kneading dough.  He also asked almost every day when the new movie was supposed come out.  One time I had to bake a challah bread at home and bring it in for him to grade. So as I’m walking up to the door to get into the school, he’s crouched down next to it smoking a cigarette.  I have my bread in one hand and my tool kit in the other and I’m trying to open the door thinking he might help me out but nope.  He just sat there smoking until I looked at him and said, “Hey, can you get the door?” To which he goes, “Oh? Oh yeah ... sorry.” Jerk.

Then there was Chef Tim and he was a real interesting guy.  He really, really loved U2.  He was also super smart and was a contestant on Jeopardy once XD And he made chainmail armor. So, yeah ... he was super awesome.

I have a lot of crazy stories from culinary school but I just thought I’d share a couple with you guys!

-- Cassidy 

#♫ ooc – cassidy speaks ♫ #i have no idea if anyone will read this but ... here ya go! #LOL XD