#anyway whatever it is youre celebrating in these times (if anything at all) im sending you my best wishes

[little-tangerines]

happy holidays! another year another christmas event at fredbear's. for a limited time customers may now purchase mascots with a holiday twist (as pictured) (left) and thank you all for this past year.

#fnaf #michael afton #william afton #elizabeth afton #evan afton #charlie emily #jeremy fitzgerald #lt nathan holt #lt bruce murphy #lt kevin mcloyd #little tangerines comic #christmas 2023 #disclamer the items advertised in this post are actually not real and cannot be purchased anywhere #the signature up there is so augh im not sure its VISIBLE RAARGH #anyway whatever it is youre celebrating in these times (if anything at all) im sending you my best wishes #second try at making a drawing look kind of like a picture from the 80s minus the demon red eyes

[froggibus]

Valentine's Day HCs - Obey Me! Brothers

Includes: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Belphegor

Summary: how your favorite boy would treat you on valentine's day

CW: GN! reader, pure fluff

i wrote these at like 2am just before i passed out so if there's typos im sorry !! if you guys liked these, consider checking out the other ones i wrote!

Valentine's Day Masterlist

————

Lucifer:

bro is the Rizzler 

seriously though he knows what Valentine’s Day is and he knows exactly what to do to win your heart 

probably waits until the last minute to ask you (he’s so excited he forgot)

he somehow manages to get all of his brothers out of the house for the night 

and picks up a super nice bouquet of flowers on his way home!! 

decorates the kitchen table with the vase of flowers and yummy smelling candles 

then starts cooking dinner for the two of you!!

you dress nicely and settle in at the table while he cooks, asking him about his day

he serves you his food and it’s super yummy

also pours you some wine to have with dinner 

the two of you have a nice, intimate dinner and chat over your food

after dinner, he invites you back to his room to watch a movie

you guys cuddle up together and watch cheesy rom coms 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, y/n, I hope we get to spend many more together.”

Mammon:

this man’s tsundere ass pretends like he doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day 

honestly he probably pretends like he doesn’t know what it is in general 

but internally he’s an absolute softie and all he wants is to celebrate love with his human!!!

doesn’t say anything about it until he sees you upset one day 

“y/n?? what’s wrong??? do I need to kill someone????”

you’re just upset that you’re not even home for Valentines Day, and that you’re all alone and this is just a big, fat reminder

“I mean, if it’s *that* big of a deal to you, I guess I can be your Valentine. it’s stupid, anyway.”

you’re so overjoyed you give the dork a hug 

now queue Mammon bending over backwards to make you happy

he goes out and buys a ton of treats from your favorite cafe for you!! 

brings them to you after work and his heart almost implodes from how happy you get

but that’s not all

he takes you out to a cute little lowkey club 

drinks cosmos with you and talks about all the stuff he (pretends) he doesn’t care about 

totally dances with you too!! his face is red the whole time and he swears up and down it’s only to keep other weirdos away 

you make him take cute pictures with you in the photo booth too

the pictures don’t end up printing and you’re sad :(((

but the next day he shows up with a copy of them

“look, I know you were all sad about the pictures or whatever so I went back to get them for you. but don’t be showing anyone these, ok?? I don’t want it ruining my rep.”

(also he definitely has a secret copy of the original pictures in his wallet that he takes everywhere)

Leviathan:

he’s seen Valentine’s Day be celebrated in tons of anime and he’s always thought it was so cute 

and he always wanted to celebrate it but he never had anyone except his brothers, and no other demons found interest in the holiday

when he first meets you, that’s one of the first things he thinks and he already has this whole elaborate fantasy of what you’ll do together 

he’s way too shy and embarrassed to admit it

he definitely sends you a cute little e-card asking you to be his Valentine and then proceeds to shut his phone off for the next six hours so he can’t see your rejection

you actually get so worried you knock on his door to check on him and the otaku comes out all red faced and shy

you ask what happened and he’s all pouty about it :((

“I don’t blame you for not wanting a gross otaku like me for your Valentine. I don’t even know anything about Valentines!”

stop him before he gets embarrassed and hide again!!!

with some gentle coaxing and lots of reassurance, he’ll be almost good as new 

asks if you really want to be his Valentine and gets so happy when you agree 

you leave for a bit while he gets ready and when you come back, he’s ordered takeout and has an anime marathon ready for the two of you!!

you cuddle up to him and bed and share takeout containers while watching his favorite anime 

at one point you get sleepy and lean your head on his shoulder 

he forgets how to breathe 

sends you a cute little text after 

“thank you for being my Henry, y/n <3 and giving me the best VDay ever!!! maybe normie stuff isn’t so bad after all”

Satan:

he’s definitely read about Valentine’s Day in books 

and much like Levi as soon as you met, the thought of spending the day together brought a blush to his cheeks 

unlike his brother though, he plans out everything ahead of time 

he just straight up asks you if you want to go out with him, and he’s so casual about it that you have to ask if he knows what Valentine’s is

“of course I do, y/n. im asking you to be my Valentine”

you happily agree!! 

he tells you to dress casual and the next day takes you to a cat cafe for lunch

you order some yummy food and delicious coffee while you wait for your turn to play with the cats

Satan is honestly like a kid in a candy store when he’s playing with them 

like he’s practically tearing up over the little balls of fur 

the two of you play with the cats and cuddle on the floor the whole time

after that, he takes you to a local bakery to pick out a treat to take home with you 

when he takes you home, he takes extra care to walk you to your room 

“today was great, y/n. my favorite person and my favorite animal? what a thrill.”

Asmodeus:

this is his day

he usually spends it with multiple partners, thriving on their lust and need to be loved

but from the minute he met you, he knew he wanted this one to be spent with you and only you 

he’s been planning out the day for you guys for at least a month too

when he asks you to be his Valentine, he does it with white doves and a huge banner 

you’re so flustered but you immediately say yes!!!

wakes you up early on Valentine’s Day and takes you out for a super yummy breakfast

probably some fancy little cafe with parfaits and macarons and crepes 

after breakfast, he takes you to a salon for mani pedis and blowouts!! he wants you feeling as confident and beautiful as possible when he takes you out later

then you guys go to the mall and he picks out an outfit for you!! 

something really cute and kinda dressy, but perfect for the club 

you guys have a light dinner and some pre drinks at home before getting ready 

he insists on getting you ready and treating you like his little doll 

then he takes you to his favorite club 

it’s super busy for Valentine’s Day, and they’re only serving pink and red drinks

everyone gets a wristband sorting them by relationship status too!

Asmo dances with you all night, bringing you yummy drinks to sip on 

definitely posts videos of you guys on his Devilgram stories so that everyone can see how cute his human looks <33

probably has to carry you home cause you’re so tired from dancing/the drinks

does your skincare routine for you and tucks you into bed 

“have a goodnight, darling. thank you for giving me a Valentine's Day that was absolutely divine.”

Beelzebub:

Beel probably had no clue what Valentine’s Day is tbh 

he learns about it when he hears one of his brother’s talking about it and then starts to wonder if maybe you wanted to celebrate 

he doesn’t really understand the concept of it but A for effort 

he asks you if you want to go out to dinner with him and you just assume it’s normal for him

but when you see him all dressed up you realize what he meant by that!! 

he’s so cute it makes your heart melt

he takes you to a pretty nice restaurant with intimate lighting and a nice patio!!

he even tries to eat slower and gentler so he doesn’t scare you off

he even shares his dessert with you!!!

takes you for a walk after dinner and holds your hand 

if you get cold he totally gives you his jacket too! 

he’s thankful it’s dark so you can’t see how red his face is 

“I know you‘re probably used to a lot better Valentine’s Days then this one, but I just wanted you to be able to feel a little slice of home while you’re here.”

Belphegor: 

does not give a fuck about Valentine’s Day 

like he can’t even pretend to care 

you were kinda hoping he would do something for you even tho you thought your crush was unrequited 

but obviously he doesn't and he goes straight to bed after school 

you’re a little upset and you shed a few tears :((

Beel notices but doesn’t say anything to you, however he marches into their room and shakes his brother awake 

Belphie reminds him that he doesn’t care about stupid human traditions 

but Beel counters him by saying he cares about you 

He hates that his twin is right

brings you a pretty bouquet of supermarket flowers and knocks on your door

when he sees your red nose and eyes he feels guilty 

asks if you’ll come with him to go stargazing!! 

the two of you lay down on a blanket together and look up at the stars 

it’s cold so Belphie wraps an arm around you and let’s you lay your head on his shoulder

he’s like a human furnace tbh 

you fall asleep so he carries you home

“I’d pretend to care about all of your human traditions if it means I get to spend more time with you.”

#obey me fic #obey me x reader #obey me headcanons #obey me x you #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #leviathan x reader #satan x reader #asmodeus x reader #beelzebub x reader #belphegor x reader #demon brothers x reader #shall we dare obey me

[jesterwriting]

Hi jesteeer! Congrats on the 100 followers dear!! Surely a thing to celebrate /gen

Today I come with an idea, I don't know if you are familiar with dangerously yours(its an old radio show? idk how to explain in english my badd ://) but there is one dialogue that always destroys me from the inside, and I just put crocodile's face on it, it goes like

Crocodile: [Name], I offer you the three things most dear to me: My heart, my country and my dream.

What if this is part of Crocy confession, when he pops the question if they want to marry him? I just really love him as a tottaly devoted and head over heels w reader, almost like Gomez, ya feel me? Anyway, sorry for the ramble, if this inspires you, please take my offering🤲🤲🤲💞💞

♠️-Anon.

pairing: crocodile x gn!reader

contents: angst, breakups, hurt no comfort, still crocodile is absolutely smitten with you

word count: 1.2k words

note: hiiiiiii. okay. listen. this went in a completely opposite direction than i intended because i was trying to think of a scenario where crocodile would say those words, but i dont think he would offer to give up his dream if he thought he could have both his lover and his dream. it’d have to be a one or the other situation. i had to put him in a Situation. thus came the angst train. i fully intended for something sweet and sappy, i really did :( HOWEVER! i do have ideas for a part two that has a happy ending hehe. sorry this is kind of painful, i hope you enjoy all the same <33 if you dont like this, you can send the request in again and ill do something actually sweet, i promise! again im really sorry for the direction this took, inspiration hit me like a brick

playlist: kingdom’s edge - christopher larkin

Through tears, you stuffed your suitcase full of whatever you could get your hands on, purposely leaving out anything he gave you. Not that beautiful necklace he gently clasped around your neck, not those clothes he had tailor made to fit you, and certainly not the rings he slipped onto your fingers when he wanted to spoil you. You wanted nothing to do with him— nothing to do with Crocodile again. Not for the rest of your life, not ever.

Your breathing hitched when a photo of you fluttered from the breast pocket of Crocodile’s dress shirt you tore from the hanger and threw to the ground. It was the size of your palm, an image of you smiling warmly at the camera. You remembered when it was taken: a year ago when you first came to Alabasta. Everything felt so new then. It was your first time on the Grand Line, ecstatic for the promise of adventure that waited around every corner. At first you planned on leaving as soon as you came, but Alabasta enamored you, with its sprawling cities and beautiful sands. Yes, it had its issues, but what country didn’t? You decided that, despite everything, you would make it your home.

If there was one thing you loved more than Crocodile, it was this country, and he was killing it.

Right under your nose. The “hero” of Alabasta was destroying everything right under your fucking nose. The thought made you sick. You were under no illusions that Crocodile was a good man. You knew what happened to the handsy men who bothered you in the casino, or to those who attempted to scam you under your boyfriend’s watchful gaze. He was possessive and cruel, but still, you loved him. All of his rough edges seemed to disappear when it came to you. The way he touched you, gentle and reverent in the night, to his rare smiles only you got to see. When you loved, it was with everything you had, and you thought you could handle Crocodile at his worst; that you could carry his burdens alongside him.

But not this. Never this.

You slammed your suitcase shut. It was hard to see through your tears, sniffling sporadically as you wrestled to zip the bag closed. So caught up in your desperation, you didn’t hear the door close until it was too late.

“You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. The scent of Crocodile’s cigar filled the room, and you fought to keep from basking in its familiarity.

Everything hurt. You wanted this to all be a bad dream so you could bury your face in Crocodile’s chest and let him hold you until you fell asleep. You wanted everything to go back to normal, and some traitorous part of you wished, deep down, you never found out what exactly Baroque Works was.

Worst of all, you wanted to forgive him. It pulled at your heart, tugged at your tongue, made fat tears roll down your cheeks, and you hated it.

“Yeah. I’m leaving.” You hastily wiped away your face clean before you faced him — though you were sure your eyes were still red — and hefted your suitcase off the ground. It was heavy. You let the weight ground you.

Crocodile didn’t move from in front of the door. “It’s amusing how you think I’d let you.”

“Well, you can’t fucking keep me here. I’d make your life a living hell, I promise you.” With your back on one arm, you stomped past him and towards the door. Crocodile didn’t move an inch, staring down at you like you were no more than a petulant child.

“Stop being a brat and unpack.”

You glared up at him. “I’m serious. I’m leaving, and you can’t stop me. Now move.”

Of course, Crocodile didn’t move. You both knew he wouldn’t, but you weren’t staying here a second longer either. Letting out a heavy sigh, you stormed around him and threw open the door. To your surprise, he made no moves to grab you, remaining still as a statue as you marched to the elevator that would take you out of his goddamned penthouse.

You pressed the button, and still, Crocodile stayed in place. Unable to see his expression, you couldn’t begin to read him, nor did you want to. It was over. Whatever you had with him was done. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you choked on a m sob as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

“I’ll give it up.”

You froze. “What?”

“I’ll give it up. Everything. As long as you stay.”

When you turned, he was right behind you, expression the same as always. Hard and unforgiving. The only sign of any emotional lapse was the way his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed, waiting for you to make your decision. When you didn’t respond, Crocodile spoke again. You tried not to think about the slight waver that interrupted his smooth words.

“I offer you the three things most dear to me: my heart, my country, and my dream. I’ll give up everything if it means you’ll stay by my side. Stay, Y/N.”

You dropped your bag and took his hand in yours. Crocodile’s fingers played with your own as you ran your thumb over each of his rings. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

Crocodile furrowed his brow. “Don’t make me ask again.”

That was the closest you would ever get to hearing the warlord beg. You let his hand drop.

“It would be better for everyone for you to give up your dream, but how could I ever ask you to do that? I love you. I’ve known you're not a good person for a long time, and I thought I was okay with that. But to ask you to give everything up, change the very foundations of who you are just so I can stay? I can’t. Even at the expense of everyone else, I can’t.” Picking up your suitcase, you turned your back to him. “You’ve made me a worse person.”

As you walked through the elevator doors and pressed the button for the lobby, all you were met with was silence. Your last glimpse of Crocodile’s face broke your heart. Instead of the stony façade he had managed to keep the entire night, he looked completely and utterly lost.

You left Alabasta that night.

It wasn’t until three weeks later, when you read that Crocodile had been arrested, did you realize that horrible pit in your gut was regret.

#one piece x reader #sir crocodile x reader #sir crocodile x yn #sir crocodile x you #crocodile x reader #crocodile x yn #crocodile x you #one piece imagines #one piece scenarios #♠️ anon #.jesterwrites #GENUINELY SORRY AGAIN FR

[vaultof-thoughts]

DOUBTS, INSERCURITY AND ANXIETY

The title is blood red, why? because when I used to have doubts, and still didn't really understand non-dualism at all, my brain would set off alarms with flickering fiery red lights. As if they were forbidden , as if I was committing some crime and conducting treason. Many of us find it difficult to deal with doubts, anxiety, insecurity because it just feels so bad, so ickish... so painful an it instantly sends us into a spiral- "Oh No! I'm not supposed to be thinking this, I'm supposed to be Zen and indifferent all the time!" "NO!!! All my progress has gone to waste.." (spoiler alert: there is no progress to be made) or just endless interaction with the (seeming) thought and just piling on to the insecurity and discomfort. Trust me, we've ALL been there, and it's COMPLETELY and ABSOLOUTELY normal and OKAY. Because guess what? This will blow your mind: IT IS IRRELEVENT. I'm serious. You could think the most gruesome, ugly, thoughts about yourself and your dream but it doesn't affect " " at all. SO, what does this mean? It means these thoughts aren't yours!! You aren't the thinker!! CELEBRATE that for a moment! bask in freedom of that realization. These thoughts are from of the ego, or character or WHATEVER. Thing is, this ego is an illusion.

Thoughts, feelings, sensations, DESIRES = Ego

Ego = "the ego doesn’t exist. It’s not a person nor an entity or anything like that. It’s just a longtime held onto perception. It’s just a pile of ideas, concepts, states of mind, thoughts and feelings that we’re clung to and built upon like a castle of cards. It was never you. It was never truly real. It seemed to be because you were it. It cannot exist without you knowing yourself as it." - @crystaldust

Conclusion is, whatever you are going through right now, you are not actually going through. (sounded better in my head) Instead, there is only " " observing a ILLUSIONARY life with a nice lil character and basically in different forms. So everything is " " (the character, the life, other people, the dirty clothes on your floor you're not gonna clean up, etc) are all just different forms of " " so basically just " " observing " " which also mean that nothing is REALLY happening. Like yes I just failed my chemistry test but is there really anything happening here?? without labels, words and meaning what is there? no thing. So even the doubtful, fearful, anxious and insecure thoughts are nothing, you are assigning illusionary meaning to them and on top of that taking them to be you. Like? And what is absoloutellyyy hilarioussss is that " " put this dream or play on itself, and on purpose for fun, and you're acting like it's the end of the world.

On a more serious note though, I know how hard it can be to see negative thoughts for what they really are! and to stop taking the illusion so seriously. There's death, murder, poverty, starvation and many things to react to. I know it can be hard. I know trust me, but in all honesty, guys, you are the observer! not the person. And again, I will repeat this until your ears bleed. It is ALL COMPLETELY Illusionary. This does not mean you're not allowed to bawl your eyes out or react to anything at all- infact, I mean the contrary. Do WHAT YOU WANT. It doesn't matter, there is no "process" to mess up on here. Just come back and notice " " It's always there anyway even observing right now. And remember not to be harsh on yourself and take good care of yourself :) and most importantly have fun.

(im super sorry this post is very long and chaotic im going to try to add some pretty colors and pictures and stuff in later so that people actually read it but bye and ily)

#nondualism #nd #noconcepts #nothingness #consciousness #DONTINCRIMINATETHEMOBSERVETHEMBECAUSETHEYARENOTYOURSSOSTOPTAKINGTHEMTOBE #nonduality #brahman #advaita vedanta #beingness

[altschmerzes]

if anyone has cats they would like to send me pics of i would appreciate that a lot i am having a very very fucking weird one right now and don’t really know what to do with myself.

the short version is: my dad died today. the long version is..... probably an absolutely ridiculous overshare but. like i said. don’t know what to do with myself so i’m just. idk im talking out loud i guess, putting this Somewhere. it’s. heavy, sorry.

so the post i made recently celebrating seven years going no-contact with my abusive father who kind of ruined my life in a lot of really serious ways i am likely never really going to completely recover from? yeah. he had a stroke earlier this year that sounded like it was pretty serious and that was a lot to process and then i just got the call from my mom that he had a heart attack while fishing with a friend this afternoon and died. apparently it was fast, which is good. he was fifty-five and i guess he’d just hit two years sober.

my mom sounded really upset on the phone, and i guess she’d only found out less than ten minutes before she called me, she just told my sister, who lives with her, and my sister went off to take a shower (read: have a breakdown in the shower), and then called me immediately and said “your dad died” as soon as i answered with a hey, what’s up. they’d been divorced for twenty years and he was a fucking bastard but i guess your ex-husband and your kids’ dad who you’ve recently been reconnecting with and spending time with again dies and you’re probably gonna have some strong feelings about it. my sister is in pieces, they’d reconnected and were spending a lot more time together. in their text they said ‘i barely got any time with him and i’m fucking heartbroken’.

and because he has no other living relatives my 23 year old sister who is uh, in a fragile state on the best of days, is gonna have to deal with all of the paperwork and shit that happens when someone dies. and my sister and i’s relationship is like.... it’s complicated, to put it politely, they are very hard for me to be around for a lot of reasons, but i wouldn’t wish that on them and i wish i was able to take on that stuff if only because i’m almost through law school and i’m the least emotionally invested in the man and it just would be easier for everyone if i did the paperwork and whatever.

and then there’s my brother, because i have a brother, who i barely talk about because it hurts to think about him. he’s nine years older than me and he’s my half-brother by my dad and after my dad went to prison on drug charges i didn’t see him for thirteen years. and then a long time after a brief visit too. he’s got two kids now, and for a while there we were in sporadic contact, but i haven’t seen or heard from him since i was maybe nineteen. and my mom was just kind of rambling on the phone about how she had to find my brother’s mother’s contact information because someone had to tell him and because i’m all the way out here and i can’t DO anything else i told her i’d find her and tell her what happened and get everyone’s contact information for whatever’s coming next so. now i’ve texted my brother, who is a living wound in my life, for the first time in like six years. he hasn’t answered yet and according to his mother he’s ‘devastated.’ so.

i’m not. i’m not devastated. i don’t know what i feel honestly. once i tracked her down on facebook and dealt with all of that i just sort of sat at the kitchen table and stared at the wall for a long time. listened to the mountain goats song ‘pale green things’ and drifted in a weird numb void. i’m not.... sad. not about him anyway. i don’t know what i am. i have a very difficult time articulating my feelings on a good day, fuck i mean i have a hard time identifying my feelings on a good day. some combination of autism and cptsd and the sense that if i have feelings someone is going to die, maybe me, maybe someone else. if i have feelings, i get someone killed, is the thought process, which is a long story but. is extremely hard to work around, especially when i don’t see the point because taking active steps to make my feelings known and make them something someone else has to deal with is like. what’s the point. why do that.

so i don’t know what i feel. i feel strange and distant and not-sad and kind of angry at my sister and brother for some fucking reason and guilty and resentful and relieved. there’s some relief in there i think, because it’s like. i don’t know. i had the thought earlier, ‘oh thank gd’ which is. it sounds heinous but i now i’ll never have to choose between attending my sister’s wedding and not having to see him there, if i go back to my hometown and feel like there’s a monster stalking me from the shadows i can just tell myself the fucking monster’s fucking dead and he can’t ever hurt me again. nobody in my family is ever going to be able to pressure me to just talk to him already, just move on and let it go. reconcile, forgive, get past it.

(i don’t know how much any of them know. i have never discussed this with my parents or my sister and i never plan to. we’ve talked about some things in vague euphemisms and talked around it even more. when he got out of prison and then when he was done stalking us which he did for a while and got some help i guess and was doing a bit better my sister wanted to reconnect with him and i didn’t. i had panic attacks, i was terrified, i didn’t want anything to do with him and i didn’t want my sister anywhere near him and i remember all my mom had to say to me about that was ‘if it makes you feel any better, i could take him.’ i don’t know what to... i just don’t know.)

i dunno. i don’t know. when i visited my hometown and stayed at my parents’ house (my grandmother’s house, when i say ‘parents’ i mean her and my mom generally) i slept with a knife on my bedside table and a plan of how to get out the window because i’d heard that he’d started dropping by sometimes and i was too scared to sleep otherwise. he terrorized me. i have very few memories from before he went to prison and most of them are of being terrified for my life. of being chased through the house, staying above the garage because for some reason we couldn’t be in the house that night. sexual abuse that i can still barely handle thinking about. he haunts my nightmares regularly, even though i haven’t seen or spoken to him in seven years, didn’t see or talk to him very often before that. i have panic attacks in my sleep dreaming about him, enough that i have to be medicated for it.

he’s a person who was deeply troubled and sick and suffered unimaginably in his life and it’s just.... i know all of that and i just. i don’t know. i hope he’s at peace i guess. i know he never was when he was alive. i know i’m not at peace most of the time, largely because of the shit he did to me. i don’t know. i don’t know. my dad’s dead.

#abuse cw #death cw #i dont know man. i dont even know. #csa mention #very briefly but. yeah. i dunno. #this is heavy sorry #long post

[cowgurrrl]

since OFTM asks are being answered atm, I thought I'd come through with a few questions of my own about this WONDERFUL and LOVELY series because it's that good!

1. ik we're wayyyyyy past it but do rockstar!joel and actress!reader do anything for Valentine's day? have they done things early on the relationship, do they still celebrate now or maybe it's something simple like posting cute photos of each other on their stories??

2. okay this one is a fun one and I know there was an ask about how reader would potentially be a presenter at an award show BUT would she ever host at some point? if so, i definitely think she'd pull it off + she'd probably do some cute promos as well, maybe even do an announcement promo with joel in some way! i think it'd be fun for her if she did + joel and the kids would LOVE it.

3. as reader ever got to work with big name actors/actresses before or does she prefer more indie like things and working with more unknown actors and actresses?

4. idk if it was mentioned at some point but was reader ever pregnant during a project/role she was doing? how was her experience and what was it like? i def think there'd be times when joel visited the set and she was all smiles because "daddy's here! visiting us" haha, it'd be precious!

5. this one is ABSOLUTELY silly but i notice how some celebrities will be at big events or something such as a tennis game or whatever and some of the reactions are SUCH a mood so i feel like if joel and reader attended some type of event like that, their reactions would be so silly and REAL.

last one finally lmaooo, im sorry i just love these two lots but speaking of special events, i think of how sweet and nice it is to imagine joel just watching from a distance as reader is out doing her thing at a premiere or something like the met gala where she looks GORGEOUS and Joel's thinking "wow, there she is! that's my amazing beautiful wife" 🥹🥹🥹 because he's such a supporter of her HELLO and he's just an awe but also, imagine how reader feels whenever she sees joel on stage knowing that a song is being dedicated to her or just watching her husband from a distance knowing that's the person she's married and fell for.

ANYWAYS! this is so long, again so sorry 😭 but I'm curious to know your answers when you get a chance 👀💜💜💜💜

DONT BE SORRY THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR OKAY

I think at the beginning of their relationship, they definitely go all out for Valentine's Day. Nice hotels, dinners, heartfelt (and expensive) presents, the whole nine yards. I think when Sam and the girls are little, it gets harder to do stuff for Valentine's Day especially when you're bouncing between work, school, and helping your children make "Valentimes" for their classmates. Things calm down just a little and you two will settle for a nice, homemade dinner in your messy kitchen after the kids have gone to bed. Joel will send flowers to you at work and you'll humor him with a silly, giggly strip tease even though you're wearing sweatpants and a shirt with marker stains on it. It's pure, domestic bliss. Once the kids are older and they've been married for a long time, I think they would alternate between elaborate plans and low-key ones. After all, they definitely don't need an excuse to be grossly in love with each other.

I could totally see her hosting an award show! She'd be so busy but having so much fun and she'd recruit all her famous contacts to help her with promotion and what not. On the night of, if Joel's not there, he totally sets up a watch party at home with all of the Miller kids, spouses, and grandkids and cheers you on the whole time. If he is there, the kids are probably there too and help you backstage with awards, setting up different presenters, and keeping you calm. You'd all get dressed up and take nice pictures as a family. I see it being hectic but so rewarding (no pun intended)

I think it's a good mix of both! I have it in my personal canon that she does go on to do some Marvel, Greta Gerwig, Bridgerton type projects that have so much hype (and a huge budget) surrounding them but I also see her taking on some smaller roles from smaller production companies as long as the story is good. In my head, Red Dirt Girl (the movie talked about through much of the main storyline) is a smaller production and smaller actors but they all end up taking OFF after that.

I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABOUT THIS TODAY GET OUT OF MY HEAD okay so I think with Sam, she is definitely pregnant in the middle of filming something but doesn't realize until she passes out at work or something and she gets taken to the hospital where they find out she's pregnant. They weren't trying but they weren't being careful so it's a little bit of a shock but they adjusted. For the first time in her career, she'd let them hire a stunt double for her and would take it easier than she had in the past. They'd definitely have to change some wardrobe and people would treat her like she's made of glass but it's all manageable. Joel would be the biggest change of pace. He'd been on set before but after they find out they're pregnant, HES THERE EVERYDAY. I think they'd fight about it a little bit just because she feels a little smothered and Joel agrees to back off a little. As she progresses, I think she'd be more okay with him visiting and would poke at her belly and be like, "your dad's here." With the twins, they find out relatively early on because her symptoms are so bad it's literally unavoidable and they try to keep it a secret for as long as possible BUT when she goes back to reshoot a scene where she has to be smoking a cigarette or something, she's like, "..... no." and they're like "we need this for continuity," and she's like "I'm pregnant. With twins." BECAUSE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO SAY. I think she would've worked for longer when she was pregnant with Sam than when she was pregnant with the girls just because of the risks and Miller children are not known for being easy so I definitely think she'd have a harder time with the girls than she did with Sam but everything ends up okay!

It's canon to me that the Millers are a BASEBALL FAMILY it was actually one of the first things I wrote for the One for the Money universe! Joel is partial to the Astros (boo) while she's definitely more of a Cubs/Yankees fan because she lived in New York and did a lot of filming in the Chicago/Midwest area for a time. I think they would be able to compromise and cheer for the Dodgers together but when it comes to their personal teams, they don't play around. Sam also goes on to play baseball professionally so I see them going to baseball games together as a big, happy family. Being an actress, she DEFINITELY wouldn't be able to keep her emotions a secret and would regularly be caught yelling, cheering, and dancing along to whatever song is playing through the stadium. God Bless anyone in the nearest vicinity when the Astros and the Yankee's play each other in the World Series.

I 100% think Joel has these moments all the time at events. I see her off doing her own thing like interviews or individual photos and he's just staring at her like "that's really my wife." He's known to get teary or really affectionate on red carpets, giving photographers everything and more. She tends to do the same thing, especially if he's getting recognized for something, and will get choked up during interviews about him. They're just so in love and proud of each other they make me SICK

Thank you for all your fun questions about my little oftm family! I hadn't thought about some of these before and it was really fun to think about them so thank you!!!

#I need a T-shirt that says ask about my lore #there’s so many thoughts brewing all the time about everything #also you can really see how I interchange the pronouns here when talking about actress!reader lol #I never know if I’m supposed to use you/your or she/her #I just do whatever sounds the best at the moment #thank you so much for the asks!! #one for the money two for the show #oftm #oftm family #rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

[taomyou]

The Romance of Reimbursements - Chapter 16

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader Status: COMPLETED Summary: There’s a guy you see every Friday on bus 143, and you think he’s pretty hot. It wouldn’t hurt to tell your best friend about him, would it? or, you and Levi take the same bus home from work every Friday, and you fall in love slowly, clumsily, and with all the time in the world to fold as many paper stars as your heart desires. Word Count: 7.7k Tags: slow burn, friends to lovers, modern au, office au, fluff, romance, meet-cute, matchmaking (A/N: this fic is entirely available on ao3 here if you would like to read it there instead!) Chapter Navigation Accompanying Playlist

the feeling not understood

When you're comfortably situated in your usual seat on bus 143 on Monday after work, you reach to take your phone out of your pocket to give yourself something to occupy yourself with for the next 45 minutes. You see a text from Hange, so you smile and go to unlock your phone to read it.

Hange - 5:20 PM

Remember to leave saturday free!!! We're celebrating Moblit's birthday with everyone at Sina's :D

You - 5:22 PM

his birthday is today, right?

Hange - 5:23 PM

Yup!!

You - 5:23 PM

tell him i say happy birthday ^^

Hange - 5:24 PM

What makes you think Im seeing him today?

You smile to yourself and shake your head. Right, they still don't know you know they're together.

You - 5:25 PM

i never said you were going to see him today i simply don't have his number to tell him myself

Hange - 5:25 PM

WAIT HAVE I NEVER ADDED YOU TO OUR GROUP CHAT????? Oh my god I cant believe we've gone this far without adding you IM SO SORRY

You roll your eyes.

You - 5:26 PM

it really isn't a big deal, i don't need anyone's number

Hange - 5:26 PM

NO NO I MUST RIGHT MY WRONGS Honestly tho we never use it anymore bc Levi has had us muted since like february and we have to text him separately anyway STILL I AM SO SO SORRY LET ME ASK THEM RN IF I CAN ADD YOU

Before you can even come up with a way to tell them that you really don't mind that you haven't gotten access to this apparently dead group chat, you see a text from a group chat titled The Hottest People Ever. You giggle at the title before switching over to see what's going on there.

Hange's typing when you get loaded in, but they're taking a while to type out whatever they're trying to say, so you go to check who's in the group chat. There's two numbers you don't have saved (presumably Mike and Moblit), Hange, of course, Levi, and Erwin.

Erwin's number is actually saved as "Erwin (WORK, DO NOT ANSWER)" because you haven't had the chance to change it since becoming better friends, so you quickly remove the parenthetical before clicking back to the chat.

Hange - 5:30 PM

Hello!!! WELCOME TO THE GROUP CHAT ASTRAEA!! Everyone say hi pls :D 

Unknown Number - 5:31 PM

Hello! This is Moblit :)

You - 5:32 PM

hi!! happy birthday ^^

You quickly go to add him to your contacts, as well as Mike since he’s probably the other number you don’t already have.

Moblit - 5:33 PM

Oh, thank you!

Everyone else is probably busy, going by the fact that there’s no other texts that come in, so you exit out of the chat to scroll through SNS.

In the middle of you reading some random news article talking about the economy, you get a text from Erwin.

Weird, he never texts you. If anything, he’s the type to only call.

You tap on the notification to see what’s up.

Erwin - 6:05 PM

Sorry for the late notice, but could you stay late tomorrow? I need help with something.

The period at the end of the message comes off as way more passive aggressive than you’re sure he intended, but you still feel intimidated by the relatively minor punctuation.

You - 6:08 PM

Sure.

You cringe when you go to send the message, the capitalization and punctuation too serious for how you normally text, but you figure that’s good enough of a way to respond to Erwin (who was just speaking to you as your boss and not your friend).

You hope that he takes offense to your reply, actually. Who actually wants to stay even later than normal at their fucking office job?

You get home soon thereafter, and while you do your homely chores and get dinner ready, you try your best to take your mind off of the impending doom that awaits you at work tomorrow. Knowing how the workflow has been for the last… four months now, Erwin’s probably asking for your help for the rest of the week and not just Tuesday.

At least you have Saturday’s dinner to look forward to. Maybe you can tell the waiter to pick Erwin’s credit card in the roulette.

✰

The next morning when you leave for work, you're unsurprised to see Moblit walking out of Hange's apartment, arms full with bags of gifts. You both wave to each other in greeting, and because you're both headed in the same direction, you end up walking together.

“Need help with the gifts?”

“No, I’m alright. Thank you for offering, though!”

“You sure? Your arms are, uh, pretty full.”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

There’s a door between where you are and where the elevator is, so you go ahead and get that open so he can get through. You push the button for the ground floor, and he thanks you before the both of you step into the lift.

“How’re you and Hange? You guys look really happy together,” you tell him in earnest.

“Oh! Have they finally told you? I thought they wanted to keep it a secret, like, for fun.”

You roll your eyes. “They haven’t, you guys are just terrible at sneaking around.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Yeah, I guess we are. I run into you practically every time I’m leaving their place.”

“Yeah, I don’t really know what you were thinking with that,” you say.

The elevator beeps once you’ve reached the ground floor, and you step out first so you can hold the doors open as he stumbles out. He thanks you, and before you split paths, he answers your question from earlier.

“And we’re great, I feel like I’m falling in love with them all over again,” he beams. “I’ve had a crush on them since uni, but I didn’t really know what to do about it until a couple months ago.”

You reflexively smile and go to put a hand over your heart. Moblit’s such a sweet guy, you really couldn’t wish anyone better for your best friend.

“You guys are so cute,” you gush. “Drop hints to go public, yeah? I have a bunch of candid photos of you and them walking in the courtyard here, and I’m sure Hange would want them.”

He perks up. “Wait, could you send those to me? My phone wallpaper is just an old picture of us at graduation, but I’ve been meaning to change it.”

You nod enthusiastically. “Yeah, of course, I’ll get them to you!”

You wave goodbye to him, and he gives you a nod before heading off to the parking lot and presumably back to his car.

Ugh, you hate the both of them (in a “they’re so cute, I need to strangle them” kind of way).

As you’re walking over to the bus station, you sigh, remembering what Erwin texted you yesterday.

Thinking about it presently, what is there for you to even help him with? He definitely is the better lawyer between the two of you (objectively, at the very least), so what does he need you specifically for?

Yeah, you most definitely will be making sure his card gets chosen on Saturday.

✰

Turns out, Erwin needed you to review some work reports, entrusting the task to you while he's gone at higher-up meetings. You were right to assume that it wouldn’t be just Tuesday—it was Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Reviewing such paperwork isn’t particularly difficult, but it takes fucking forever, and you can’t afford to make any mistakes. Because of this, the next couple of days pass by slowly, with both nothing and everything happening all at once.

Unfortunately, the slow pace doesn’t mean anything anyway because you aren't able to get even a second to breathe, and when you finally go to take your seat next to Levi on Friday at 3:02 PM, you can only greet him with a defeated sigh.

It’s a miracle you’re here at all, considering how late you’ve been coming out of the office for the last 3 days. How you managed to get all of your work done before this exact moment, you have no idea.

You’re too exhausted to try and strike up conversation in the moment, so you prop your briefcase up higher so you can put your head down on it comfortably and close your eyes.

“Sorry, is it okay if I rain check on talking today?” Your voice comes out weaker than you intend it to, but you’re much too tired to pay any attention to it.

You feel a bit of weight at your left side, and you’re unsurprised when you turn to see that Levi’s lightly tapped his shoulder against yours.

“Yeah, get some sleep.”

You hum tiredly. “I don’t need sleep.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yep, I just need to quit my job,” you whine. “Ugh, I still have to go grocery shopping, maybe I’ll go tomorrow.”

“Are you actually going to do that? Quit your job?”

“Of course not, but it’s nice to dream.”

Your mind actually is too busy to let you fall asleep even with your head down, so you just sit there quietly, waiting for the bus to eventually get to your destination.

For whatever reason, it feels like it’s enough to just be sitting next to Levi. Your nerves leave you slowly, and you eventually get to settle further into your spot and enjoy as the scenery passes you by.

It’s the middle of spring, so the flora on the route is in full bloom, lighting up the way with bright colors and visible gusts of pollen.

You wish you could muster up the energy to talk to Levi—to ask him about his week, to tell him about yours.. You’re not physically tired; you very well could.

But when you turn to look at him, he looks content with the silence that covers the two of you, going by his stare out at the same flowery paths that pass by in the window.

You open your mouth to speak, but you can’t find the words to say. Somehow, you can sense that if you do talk, he’s just going to tell you to shut up anyway.

Or maybe he’d look up the definition of “rain check” on his phone to make sure you understand what it means.

You smile gently at the thought before putting your head down again on your briefcase, and you close your eyes. Not really to sleep, but you might as well try to get some of your energy back before heading home.

✰

When the bus’s sound system tells you that you’ve reached Rose, you lift your head from your briefcase and yawn, making sure to cover your mouth. “Get home safe, Levi,” you tell him, slowly blinking yourself awake.

When you wave goodbye to him, however, you’re taken off-guard by the warmth that takes over you when he takes hold of your hand and gently pulls you up.

You get the message quickly enough and scramble to get your briefcase secured in your other hand, but you’re unable to ask any questions as you try to get yourself oriented enough to get off the bus. 

You manage to tell the driver a “thank you,” but other than that, you’re at a loss for words until you’re both safely on the sidewalk, the bus leaving a huge gust of wind behind it and blowing both your and Levi's hair in all directions.

The two of you just stare at each other, daring the other to speak, but you hardly feel like you’re the one who has to do any explaining.

And he probably feels the same way, because he wordlessly turns away from you and lightly tugs at your hand. When he starts walking, you have to jog a step or two to catch up with him.

“Where are we going?”

He doesn’t slow his pace, instead giving a squeeze to your hand. The contact is hardly meaningful in that he’s probably only holding your hand to drag you around, so you won’t take it as anything else.

“Surprise.”

Well, you doubt he could take you anywhere surprising, especially when you know that the only things in the immediate area are Magnolia Floral Company, the supermarket, and his car, but you suppose you’ll entertain him. Not like you have anywhere else to be anyway.

When you’re taken to the front of the supermarket, you’re hardly surprised, but you still play along. “The grocery store? I never would’ve guessed!”

He rolls his eyes and flicks your forehead, eliciting a whine from you. “Really, now?”

While you rub at your forehead to make a show of the pain (it really doesn’t hurt at all, it’s just in good fun), he drags you both over to get a shopping cart. He puts his backpack in, and you follow suit with your briefcase.

He lets go of your hand to push the cart, and you feel like you miss the warmth. It’s hardly winter, and the weather is definitely warm enough, but your hand feels… cold, all of a sudden.

Instead of weaving through the lanes like you’d think he normally would, he stops at the very beginning of the produce section and just stares at you.

You blink owlishly at him. “What’re you looking at me for?”

He rolls his eyes, almost ruefully so. “You’re the one who has to get groceries, or did you forget already?”

You raise an eyebrow. “That’s why we’re here?”

“Yes, so start putting shit in and let me pay while you’re at it,” he says. Before you can protest, he continues. “And none of your ‘stop paying me back’ shit, we both know neither of us are letting up anytime soon.”

You’re still frozen in place, at yet another loss for words, but when Levi reaches over to seemingly try and flick your forehead again, you move out of the way to get out in front of him. “Okay, okay, but you have to get something too. I don’t want this to be a waste of your time.”

He scoffs. “As if I have anything better to do right now.”

You lead the both of you through the aisles, looking at anything and everything. You’re hesitant to add things to the cart, but even when you put things back on the shelf, Levi moves to put them in anyway. You chastise him for it, telling him you don’t want him spending too much money on you, but he just flips you off and continues to follow you as you venture through the store.

At the checkout, he’s quick to get ahead of you so you don't get the chance to pay, and you just roll your eyes before loading everything on the conveyor belt.

When the cashier hands the receipt to him, Levi scratches both the singular and total prices out with his nail before handing the long sheet to you. “For you to make your stars.”

You take it from him with a nod, and you tuck it into your pocket before helping him put everything back in the cart. He pushes it out for you, and before you know it, you’re both in front of his car.

“I assume you’re driving me home.”

“No, you’re gonna have to haul all of this stuff back to the bus,” he deadpans. “Yes, get in.”

You laugh. “At least let me help put everything in your car.”

He shakes his head, but he lets you do just that. He wheels the cart back to its designated space in the parking lot after handing you his keys to start the car, and you get yourself situated in the passenger seat after you do that. By the time he comes back, you’ve already torn off your first strip of paper, and you’re looping it onto itself.

He reaches over you to his glove box, and from it, he pulls out a small box of blueberry merlot tea. He puts it between the both of you on the little open space, probably because your hands aren’t free in the moment.

“Did you take me grocery shopping because you forgot to bring the tea with you?” You ask.

He hums to himself as he goes to back out of the parking space, his hand on the back of your headrest. “Maybe,” he replies, “but Erwin’s been complaining about work a lot more than usual, which means you probably had a tough week too. Might as well help make you feel better while you’re here.”

You sigh. “As if it isn’t his fault I’ve been so busy at the office. That fucker asked me to help with reports all week.”

“Or so I’ve heard. Don’t worry, I chewed him out for it already.”

You laugh, and you shake your head. “Thank you, I guess.”

As always, the drive is silent, save for the rustling of paper. You reach your apartment easily enough, and he goes ahead and parks in the parking garage for the building. You hand him the stars you’ve made from the receipt, and he reaches over again for his glove box to put them away.

You know he’s going to do it anyway, so you let him carry some of the groceries up to your apartment with you. When you reach your unit, you get your keys and open the door to let him in to get everything set on the table.

You’re still at the door, watching as he does that, and when he comes back to you to leave, he gives a curt nod.

“Get home safe.”

“Stealing my jokes now?”

“I made it first.”

You blink. “Huh? When?”

He rolls his eyes. “When I dropped you off after our Valentine’s Day disaster.”

You sigh, shaking your head. “You still make fun of me when I say it.”

“It’s only funny when I say it.”

“You get home safe too, then.”

He nods, and you watch as he starts to walk back in the direction you both came from, and before you can stop yourself, you yell out his name.

“Levi!”

He isn’t too far, so the volume really isn’t necessary, but he still turns around. “What?”

You look back and forth between him and the groceries that’re set on your dining table, and you think for maybe two seconds before deciding that it’d only be fair for him to at least have some use for your groceries, seeing as he’s the one who paid for them.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” You ask.

He stares blankly back at you, but after checking the time on his watch, he eventually shrugs and walks back over to you. “Sure, but only if you let me help cook.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, and you open the door further to let him inside again. “Okay, fine.”

You go to quickly change out of your work clothes, not wanting to get them dirty with anything in the kitchen, and you bring back the same set of clothes Levi wore last time he was over so he can do the same. He excuses himself to go change, and you hum to yourself as you get everything sorted out so you can figure out what to cook for the both of you. Levi comes back out relatively quickly, his work clothes neatly folded up, and he sets that at the edge of your dining table before joining you in the kitchen.

You aren’t able to figure out what you should make, but it seems that Levi has more cooking knowledge than you when he naturally takes initiative in deciding for the both of you. Of course, he asks you if it’s alright to use any ingredients before he does, but you wave him off every time and tell him that he doesn’t need to keep asking.

You let him guide you throughout everything, listening along as he directs you to chop this, stir that, whatever it is. There isn’t much room for any other conversation, but that’s fine with you.

Dinner gets made quickly enough, and with a pot of blueberry merlot tea between the two of you, you start to eat.

You take a sip of the tea first, though, and you give it a solid 7/10. He does the same, but he gives a 5/10, citing the fact that it doesn’t have caffeine as reason for its lowered rating.

You both take the time now to talk about work, since you weren’t able to earlier on the bus, and conversation flows easily. Talking about the misery of the last workweek makes up for the trouble because it lets you completely let go of any of the anxieties you had about it, and when Levi talks about the hell that is grading college papers, you know he feels the same as you do.

After you’re both done venting about work and your coworkers and your clients and practically everyone else in the world, the topic shifts over to Moblit’s birthday dinner the next day.

“Are you bringing a present?”

He shakes his head. “He’s not a gifts person, never accepts them from anyone.”

You go to cover your mouth to stifle your giggle. “Right, right.”

“How’s that funny?”

“I saw him leaving Hange’s place on Tuesday, he was bringing home a bunch of gifts from them.”

Levi sighs, shaking his head again. “I would say I’m surprised, but I’m not.”

“Does he like sweets? I’d feel awkward showing up without at least that.”

“That’s not a terrible idea, but knowing him, he’s probably going to give it all to Hange.”

“That’s alright, still better than nothing,” you muse, swirling the teacup in your hand. “We could make something together. Maybe you could bring some of it home for Isabel and Furlan, too?”

Levi hums. “If you’re fine with it.”

You nod, going to take another sip of your tea before gathering your now-finished plate and utensils to bring to the sink. You hold out another hand to Levi’s spot at the table, and he shoos your hand away before getting up himself to put his tableware into the sink.

He tries to start washing them, but you gently shove him out of the way before turning on the faucet.

“Remember what we said? No washing dishes at the other person’s place.”

He doesn’t give any contest, but he grabs the small dish towel that hangs on a ring above your sink, and he waits next to you so that he can dry the dishes before putting them away.

The running water is loud enough to fill your relatively small apartment, so neither you nor Levi feel any need to talk. While Levi finishes up with drying and putting your tableware away, you take out your recipe book from one of the upper cupboards.

You check the time on your phone: 7:31 PM.

It's quite late already, so you flip through the pages to try and find something that doesn’t take that long to make. Levi is done with getting everything put away shortly thereafter, and he comes up next to you to watch as you figure out what to make.

“Is there anything he likes in particular?” You ask.

“He likes brownies,” he answers. “Do you know how to make those?”

You look over at him, mock offense on your face. “You think I don’t know how to make brownies?”

He puts his hands up, sarcastically so. “Sue me.”

You shake your head with a smile, and you go to close your recipe book. “I will.” You start heading over to your cabinets to get the ingredients, knowing already what you need. “Could you get some eggs and butter from the fridge? Just take out everything you can find.”

“Yeah.”

Soon enough, there’s a hefty pile of ingredients on your kitchen counter, and now you’re the one directing Levi to do things. You turn on the oven and get the ingredients measured out, but you leave everything else up to Levi.

Brownies are certainly not complicated and you could have very easily just made these on your own, but you still feel happy to be making them with him. He struggles a bit here and there, but he doesn’t give up, which is more than you could say for Hange whenever you’re in these situations with them.

It’s weird. Ordinarily when you teach other people how to bake, they feel more like a hindrance to the process than any help.

You let Levi finish mixing the batter while you get the pans prepared, and you can see a faint smile on his face when he goes to pour it all in.

It warms your heart to know that he’s having fun, even if he doesn’t quite know what he’s doing.

You’ve just finished putting away the dirtied utensils and food scale, so you come over to where he is so you can help scrape off the rest of the batter from the bowl.

You quickly get some star confetti sprinkles from your cabinet to put on top (you know, to make the brownies more birthday-esque, or whatever), and you hand the shaker to Levi once the lid’s off.

After that, you open the oven door for him to slide the pans inside, and you close it once they’re all neatly put in.

Looking over at him now, you laugh when you’re met with a better view of his flour-dusted front. “Can I take a picture?”

“Fuck no,” he scoffs. “How long do they take in the oven?”

You shrug. “40 minutes, give or take.” He looks past you and at the bathroom, and so you assume he wants to wash up. “You can shower, if you’d like.”

“I am never taking a shower here ever again,” he laments. “I’ll just go change back into my work clothes.”

“My shower really isn’t that hard to use, but that's fine,” you tease.

He walks past you and into the bathroom, making sure to stop by at the dining table to pick up his clothes on his way there. You go ahead and get started on washing even more dishes, and you hum to yourself as you scrub them clean.

Levi comes back just in time to grab the drying towel a second time, and he does that next to you while you wash the soap off your arms.

For the rest of the time the brownies bake, you and Levi migrate over to the couch and turn on the TV. Thankfully, you find a decently entertaining episode of Shark Tank to put on, and you and Levi shout at the TV when the contestants pass on offers from the Sharks or when the investors say something stupid.

The oven beeps to tell you that the brownies are ready, so you excuse yourself to go take those out to cool. You’re quick in doing so, and not even three minutes later, you’re back on the couch, screaming at Mark Cuban for passing on an especially cute line of plush animals.

You and Levi spend the next hour or so keeping up with this. Thankfully, all the contestants in this extended episode are incredibly bad at their pitch, so there’s no hard feelings from either of you when practically all of them leave the Tank without any deals.

You doubt that Levi understands the business lingo any better than you do, but you’re glad he finds as much fun in yelling at the screen as you do.

The ending credits roll, and you stretch upwards, yawning. “What time is it?”

Levi checks his watch. “10:15.”

You hum. “Let me get some brownies for you to take home.” You get up from your spot on the couch, and Levi follows closely after you. You grab some cellophane bags, twist ties, and star tags from your cabinet, as well as some disposable gloves for yourself.

You move everything over to the dining table so you can sit while you work, and when you come back with a knife to cut everything, Levi’s there too.

“Can I help?”

You nod with a lazy smile on your face.

“Please.”

You slip on your gloves after giving the bags to Levi, and you carefully go to cut out neat squares from the pans.

“Where’d you learn how to bake?” He asks.

You sigh. “It’s been a while since anyone’s asked me that.”

“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly.

“No, you’re good.” You hum as you reangle your knife to start going in the perpendicular direction. “I don’t know, everywhere? I watched my mom do it as a kid, and I picked it up as a hobby when I was in high school.”

“You didn’t come out of the womb with a whisk?”

You snort. “No, but I might as well have. Could you open a bag for me?”

He does, and you slip in the first brownie.

“Thanks.”

“Did you ever want to be a baker? Not that law isn’t admirable either.”

You nod, careful as you continue putting away brownies. Levi continues holding out bags for you to do it efficiently.

“A little, but I didn’t really consider it when I got older. It’s still fun, though, I like it a lot,” you tell him.

“Evidently.”

You smile, shaking your head. “Yeah, I’m sure.” One of the brownie’s hasn’t been cut properly, so you set that aside for you and Levi to have later. “It’s nice anyway, everyone likes being friends with the baker, so it made socializing easier for me.”

“Had trouble making friends?”

You shrug. “I guess, yeah. I was always busy with school, so I never really went out. Baking just gave me another crutch.”

He nods in understanding. “If it’s worth anything, I don’t think anybody now only sees you as a free baker.”

“Not even Isabel?”

He scrunches his nose and aggressively shakes his head. “Absolutely not, she never fucking shuts up about how much she loves you.”

You laugh. “She’s a sweet kid.”

“Hange used to call you ‘Sugar,’ though. Before we knew your name.”

You cringe. “That’s the name they chose for me? I couldn’t get something cooler?”

He nods nonchalantly. “They would not shut up about how they hit the jackpot getting you as a neighbor because you’d always come over with snacks for them.”

You laugh at the memory. “Yeah, I was still used to baking for groups of people, and I didn’t know what else to do with my leftovers.”

By now, all the brownies have been put into their bags, so you go to throw away your gloves, get the pans in the sink, and come back with two pens to write on the tags. You hand one to Levi, and you tell him to just write whatever he wants for Isabel and Furlan, and you can do the tags for Moblit.

You make sure to put that one misshapen brownie on a plate between the two of you, and while you write, you both take small pieces from it.

“Did Hange ever give me a different name or did they stick with Sugar?” You ask.

“You know them, they never change names for anyone,” he complains. “They say it works anyway, since you’re apparently so sweet.”

“What, you don’t think I am?” You tease. You’re both looking down at your writing so you don’t catch his reaction to that, but he does take a while to respond.

“I never said that.”

The two of you continue writing on the tags in silence, and soon enough, all of them are being looped onto iridescent twist ties. There’s more than enough for Levi to take home with him even after you have a good amount prepared for Moblit, so you have to excuse yourself to grab a bag for him to put his share in.

You hold the bag open for Levi to put everything inside, and you laugh when you see that he’s addressed Isabel and Furlan with curse words instead of their names on his tags. He helps you put Moblit’s share into some boxes that you had leftover from when you made all that shortbread for him a while ago.

You watch as Levi slides on his shoes, and before you can open the door to let him out, you remember he still has your clothes.

“You can just leave the clothes you borrowed here.”

“I don’t mind taking care of it.”

You wave him off. “It’s okay, I’m doing laundry tomorrow anyway.”

“If you say so.” He unloops one of his backpack straps to bring it forward and take out your clothes.

You take them from him. “Yeah.” You go to open the door for him, and he steps out into the hallway.

You bring your hand up to wave goodbye to him, but before you can actually do the motion, he brings his hand up too. You half expect him to grab your hand again, like he did on the bus, or maybe even give you a hi-five, but instead, he swipes at your cheek with his thumb.

Again, it feels warm—comfortable. You almost feel yourself wanting to lean into the touch further, but his hand doesn’t linger on your skin for any longer than it needs to.

He flips his thumb back to you. “Crumb.”

You nervously laugh, rubbing the back of your neck with your already raised hand. “Right, thanks. Get home safe, Levi.”

“You too.”

“I’m sure I will.”

This time, when you watch his figure disappear around the corner of your apartment floor’s hallway, you don’t call after him.

You almost wish you do, only to see his face again before he has to go.

✰

The next day, you feel… confused as you go through the motions of your morning and afternoon. Hange comes over at around 4 to get ready with you, and you manage to fend off the nerves, but they come back again in the car.

For once, you’re grateful their driving is so horrendous. If anything, you’ll just let the feeling of crashing be more paramount than anything else.

Nothing even happened last night. Nothing insurmountable, at least. He went grocery shopping with you, drove you home, you invited him inside to make dinner and dessert with you, and he left.

But the feeling—this one, where you feel so comfortable—you don’t know what to do with it.

It doesn’t have you red in the face. It doesn’t fill your stomach with butterflies. It doesn’t force you to shy away from spending time with him.

If anything, it prompts you to do exactly that. It’s weird. It’s so glaringly different from the attraction you felt in the beginning, when you didn’t know his name and he was just another stranger you saw on the bus once a week.

Do you even have to figure this out? It could very well just be something completely normal, and you’ve been overthinking it this entire time.

Hange suddenly stops the car, which snaps you out of your thoughts. Though you’re grateful for the mental break, you have to grip even harder than you already were on the grip handle above your seat.

“What the fuck, man!?”

They only laugh before going to take their key out of the ignition. “Well, we’re here!”

You shudder before getting out of the car, careful not to forget anything, and the two of you join the others in the waiting area. You’re the last to arrive, courtesy of Hange’s poor driving skills, and you watch as they naturally drift towards Moblit.

Mike and Erwin, upon seeing you and Hange enter, go to the reservations desk to presumably tell them “table for Smith,” and that leaves you and Levi alone with each other. You raise the boxes of brownies you brought with you, and he nods in acknowledgement of it.

“Did Isabel and Furlan like them?” You ask, unsure of what else to talk about.

“They liked them too much,” he whines. “Begged me for the recipe and everything.”

“I don’t have one written down, but I can do that on a napkin while we wait for our food,” you offer.

“That’d be nice,” he says. You nod, and then your group of six are guided by a hostess.

The rest of the night is a whirlwind, spurred by Hange’s excitement to celebrate their boyfriend’s birthday with their other friends present. You hand Moblit his brownies, and like the saint he is, he thanks you before splitting it up between everyone at the table. You, Levi, and Erwin refuse them, but he insists that he’d rather share than have to take so many of them home.

You aren’t able to write out the recipe on a napkin as promised because the napkins are fabric, but after figuring out the measurements for a more… manageable batch, you text the information to Levi.

Levi does actually call over the waitress to bring over paper napkins for you, just like when you both came here on Valentine’s Day, and you thank him before starting to tear at the paper. You hand that one to Levi, and instead of rejecting it like you expect him to, he takes it and waits for you to make yours so he can follow along again.

When the food eventually comes to your table, all six of you can do is eat in silence to savor the expensive taste as well as you can. There’s no drinking tonight, probably because everyone drove here in smaller groups and it’d be too inconvenient to figure out how to get home, but it’s still lively and exciting.

Towards the end of the night, you and Hange slip away to “the bathroom” to tell the waitress that it’s Moblit’s birthday and to pick Erwin’s credit card, and when you come back, you both have to act surprised when the whole restaurant starts singing Happy Birthday and when Erwin gets fucked by the expensive bill.

Levi seems to catch on that you’re responsible for Erwin losing the roulette, but he only rolls his eyes and doesn’t make a scene out of it.

When everything’s paid for and everyone’s back outside, just about ready to part ways for the night, Hange winces.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

They nervously go to scratch behind their ears. “Do you think you could find another ride home? I totally forgot to tell you, but I’m going over to Moblit’s to, uh,” their gaze drifts off to their not-so-secret lover, “test some liquor!”

You should’ve expected as much, but it’s no trouble.

Get some, Hange!

You wave them off, and you look around at the group. “I’m sure least one of them have a seat to spare.”

They wrap you in a warm hug, nearly crushing you, and you return the gesture with just as much enthusiasm. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you so much!”

You try to wiggle out of their grip after a while, but they don’t really let up, instead rocking back-and-forth with you still in their arms.

Their grip on you finally loosens up when Levi comes up to you, and he practically has to pry them off of you before they let go. You thank him, and Hange’s off to go… test liquor with Moblit, the two of them headed for where Hange parked their car.

Erwin chimes in first. “Mike and I live in the opposite direction, so you can go with Levi.”

“Is that okay with you?” You ask him.

Instead of answering, Levi goes to stomp (lightly) on your toes, and you take that as a yes.

You and Levi give your goodbyes to the other two men, and you follow him to his car.

This sure does feel like a repeat of Valentine’s Day. It's parked in the exact same spot.

When you’re both in the car and about ready to leave, he hands you the receipt, telling you that Erwin forgot to take it before he left. You thank him for the paper, and you promptly start tearing and folding it.

The ride is completely silent, again, with only the sound of crinkling paper filling the vehicle, but it’s comfortable. Almost alarmingly so.

You drop the stars into the palm of Levi’s hand when he’s parked at the curb of your building, he reaches over to put them away in his glove box, and nothing is said other than a “get home safe” from the both of you.

When you get safely inside your apartment, you don’t even know what you’re supposed to do.

At least when you were constantly anxious and high-alert around Levi, you could at least find reason to denounce those feelings and get rid of them.

Maybe you should ask Erwin to give you extra work this week to distract yourself.

Who are you kidding, you definitely aren’t going to do that.

Still, when you go to sleep that night, you wish for more opportunities to skip on thinking about it entirely, and even more opportunities to just enjoy the feeling while it’s there.

✰

Both fortunately and unfortunately, your wish is granted to you.

Unlike last week, this week is fast. It rushes past you, works you as hard as it can, and spits you out without so much as a “thank you” for your efforts.

Erwin, bless his heart, apologizes profusely and comes by your office often to check up on you, but you barely spare him a glance whenever he passes through.

The only silver lining in any of this is that Friday comes just as quickly. That and the fact that the hustle and bustle doesn’t give you any time to overthink any of your feelings.

When you go to take your seat on bus 143 at 3:09 PM on Friday, you have to put your head down after you hand Levi his tea. You ask for another rain check, and Levi doesn’t make any fuss about it before taking out his phone to busy himself.

Unfortunately, because there’s a lot of traffic on this particular Friday, there’s plenty of starts and stops, all of which break you out of your resting state. The sounds of city bustle don’t help either. When the bus comes to a sudden halt for what feels like the hundredth time in the last ten minutes, you groan and lean your head back, looking up at the ceiling.

You chuckle halfheartedly. “Maybe I should just jump out the window and walk the rest of the way home.”

Levi scoffs next to you. “We’re still in the city, you might as well stay here until Monday.”

“That’d be better than getting shaken awake every three seconds.”

“You were sleeping?"

“I wasn’t, but I can’t really rest with the traffic. My briefcase isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world either.” You sigh and prop your elbow on your lap, resting your head on your hand. “So, how was your week? We might as well talk if I can’t keep my eyes closed.”

He doesn’t say anything, so you naturally turn to look at him. He’s propping up his backpack straighter on his lap, and he slides his phone into the front pocket.

He turns to look at you when that’s done, and the two of you hold eye contact before he looks away and out the window in front of your seats.

“You can rest on my shoulder.”

You lazily shake your head. “No, it’s okay. That’s probably uncomfortable for you, and you seem tired enough from work.”

“You literally look like you’re about to fall forward,” he scolds. “And no talking, you need to rest.”

“Geez, you make it sound like I’m sick or something,” you joke.

“Picked it up from you,” he contests.

You follow his gaze out towards the window, and you hum. “But it’s okay, I can stay up.” As if on cue, you have to yawn, and you can see Levi shake his head out of the corner of your eye.

Before you can bark out something to dismiss any further scolding, you hear him turning towards you again. You wait, still staring out the window, but you watch as his left hand reaches over to push your head gently onto his right shoulder.

It feels awkward, honestly, and you kinda want to laugh.

You’d think the touch was romantic, but it hardly is when he struggles to reach over the backpack in his lap and your briefcase, and the bumps of the roads that knock you back-and-forth hardly do anything to help the atmosphere either.

But still, the act has you breaking out into a shy smile.

Had it been months ago, you probably would’ve passed out then-and-there from just his touch alone, but you don’t feel any red creeping up at all.

Just a quiet, comfortable glow in your chest, and a smile that acts as a silent thanks to him for lending you his shoulder for the rest of the ride.

He pulls his hand away from your head, and he reorients himself to look outside again, and he sits up straight against the back of the seat. You don’t dare move your head away, instead just slightly turning to look at his face, and you close your eyes once you see that he's comfortably settled back into his seat.

“So, how was your—”

“Just shut the fuck up,” he mumbles.

You sleepily hum. “You like silencing women?”

He groans. “Fuck off.”

You laugh and shake your head, position permitting. You close your eyes, and you hum to yourself as you try to find your sleep.

Yeah, you can figure out your feelings later.

You know you definitely shouldn’t be continuing to put off the emotionally daunting task, but you definitely don’t want to confront anything right now.

You still think it’s weird, that much hasn’t changed. And this is definitely not normal. That much is apparent, more so now than before when you were first starting to question things halfheartedly.

All you need to know is that here, with him, you’re comfortable.

For you, it’s enough to know that. Even if it isn’t, you’re okay with not knowing anything else, so you'll just spend the next... however many minutes left of your ride through the traffic, with him, trying to imprint the comfort that he gives you into yourself as well as you can.

✰

Next Chapter

#attack on titan #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #tao.levi #levi ackerman #levi aot #the romance of reimbursements #levi #fanfiction

[deadlysoupy]

Not sure if you reblogged the writing ask game, but I wanted to send you an ask about it! If you didn’t or don’t want to answer, feel free to delete!

For the ask game: 🍉 🎉 ✨

im so sorry for not answering earlier but i'm here now!!! so so so happy you sent me this bestie <3

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

oof this is a hard thing to answer. i want to say i already know myself pretty well, which is weird because i'm young (only turning 20 in may) and i've never been a risk-taker in my life and prefer to avoid danger and/or any risk of failure at all. so i think writing makes me create possible scenarios that can go wrong in everyone's journey - abuse, trauma, hurt/comfort, that kind of thing. i love being prepared for everything, and writing helps me navigate through the trainwreck in general

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

lmao i'm usually just happy it's over tbh. if anything i feel like i'm often too rewarding to myself with how much i post, because so many writers post every other week and it takes me half a year to write a complete piece, no matter if i enjoy it or not. my writing simply isn't good enough to celebrate, i'm (relatively) new to writing big projects and drabbles don't have that same value for me as the long works do. besides, i'm not a native speaker, my grammar is messed up, it's nothing to gloat about, not now anyway. so i guess i just don't ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

OH MAN. WHEN. WHEN SOMEONE QUOTES A PIECE OF MY WORK. IT DRIVES ME NUTS.

and when someone says how they can read and hear the character talking like an actual voice actor would. it's INSANE i cry EVERY TIME without fail. i'm very picky about my character's voices, it's such a good theme to explore and it's so hard to get right. so when someone compliments me on this?? i go bananas. i'm going to kiss them on the mouth. give them a hug. a sweet treat. it's god giving me special powers, the commenter being the god. AUGRGH

anyway thank you so much for dropping this!!!! i love ask games they're really fun i can just shit in my post with whatever word vomit i come up with lmao

#dude i sooouuure appreciate you dropping by #my beloved <3 #asks #mine

[in-my-feels-probably]

Hello congrats on 600! I'm kinda new here but I'd like to partake in the celebration of that okay haha I'd like option 2, pretty much anyone from Game Of Thrones would be great.

My name's Shyann, I'm a bisexual ace with she/they pronouns. My personality type is infj and my love language is gifts. I'm also a Libra! I'm so super duper tall with a very tall height of 4'11. I got a brown wolf cut (my hair needs cut again lmao) and hazel eyes that I can't see too good out of. My vision sucks, but my glasses look cute at least I think.

I'm a rather shy and quiet person, I don't really talk too much unless I'm with my friends or family or if someone mentions something I'm interested in, in that case I will not shut up. (Said interests include: Skyrim, Marvel, GOT, The Witcher, Red Dead Redemption, and a handful of YouTubers) I spend a lot of my time playing video games and cosplaying. My music taste is mostly rock (Shinedown being my favorite band) but I'll also listen to anything for Cupcakke to Taylor Swift to Minecraft songs.

I would consider myself to be a pretty caring person. I guess you could say I'm bit of a people pleaser. In school I mostly kept to myself but my grades were always great. I was one of those kids that teachers were like "Oh! She's a pleasure to have in class!" Outside of school though? I'm surprised my dumbass is managing to live on her own.

I'm a chaotic mess, with a horrendous sleep schedule but I'm here. Thanks for reading this and doing these. They've been really nice to read. I like your writing! The 600 is very well deserved! :) 💕

hi! thank you so much for participating :)

i’ve actually closed my request for these ships, so i’m not doing them anymore until i hit 700.

i posted a message about it last night. i know not many people have seen it, so don’t worry if you haven’t. don’t worry about sending this in, i still enjoyed reading it.

i feel bad about you typing all of this out, so i’m still gonna ship you with someone and write you a little blurb. i’m sorry if this isn’t what you were looking for, maybe my next follower’s celebration i can do something you’d like more.

anyways, i ship you with jon!

i think he’d find it adorable that you’re so chaotic, he’d get a kick out of you being a mess. it takes a lot for him to smile and be less serious, but you’d do or say something that would make him laugh and forget about whatever was bothering him, even if it was just for a moment.

you’d stumble out of bed in the morning, tired from going to bed too late. you’d rush to get ready, and jon would find you in courtyard or something, while you were hurrying to get wherever you were going.

he’d bite his tongue to keep himself from laughing. he’d take a breathe, willing himself not to grin too hard. “for a well educated and well brought up person, my lady, you really do know how to make it look like you’ve never lived a routine day in your life.”

you’d roll your eyes, waving him away. “it’s a real talent of mine. now hush, im tired and im late.”

he’d smile, holding out his arm for you to take. “i’ll walk with you, my lady. make sure you get where you’re going without further incident. i have a feeling you may need the assistance.”

he’d laugh even harder as you glared at him, grudgingly taking his arm. but you’d know he wasn’t trying to be mean, and that he actually very much enjoyed your company. him teasing you brought a smile too his face, and you were willing to accept it if it meant you got to see him smile more.

#game of thrones #jon snow #600 followers celebration #600 followers #followers celebration

[harryfeatgaga]

omfg Paige ik you and your anons are probably the wrong ppl to ask/tell about this but oh well 💀 so basically i’m following a few new ppl on twitter and i low-key thought these new mutuals were shading me for something that, in my opinion, is not a big deal and a pretty fucking dumb thing to be mad about. i posted a couple of slight thirst tweets about an actor i like which a) were actually VERY tame all things considered.....like i have definitely thought worse tbh and b) it was also kinda about his character (but also the guy himself too cause he’s hot)..........ANYWAYS it was a few hours later that i saw these tweets so it could’ve just been a coincidence and had nothing to do with my tweets but i saw these mutuals saying that they thought it was “weird” to be “sexualizing” this actor and someone else said something about how “there is a difference between sexualizing the character and actor” or whatever like 😭😭 and i knowww it’s not a big deal cause twitter drama is always SO unserious and literally who gives a fuck but idk...........at first it made me feel kinda bad cause i was like “well they are clearly shaming me here” but then afterwards it was just like ???? again WHO GIVES AF i mean i definitely wasn’t trying to make anybody uncomfortable or whatever but there is a reason i don’t interact with or follow ppl under 18 (these mutuals aren’t btw) 😭 also like.....yeah some ppl with their nsfw jokes and thirsting can sometimes get out of hand imo but again i thought my tweets were pretty tame tbh and it’s not like i was commenting all of this shit under the guy’s insta or in his dms or sending it to his gf or whatever 😭😭 also idk how else to word this so i hope nobody takes this the wrong way but ???? the guy is a pretty famous celebrity and a very handsome one at that so like 😭 OFC ppl are gonna notice and point it out like i dont think there’s anything wrong with that at all and besides ppl are always posting crazy shit about his characters like ???? yeah it’s a little different but IT IS STILL THE SAME GUY!!!!!! LIKE.......THATS HIS BODY, THATS HIS FACE, THATS STILL HIM 😭😭😭 idk i just wish twitter could let me live in peace 😭💀💀

Im sorry bestie! I wouldn't let it bother like you said a few times is just twitter and twitter is very unserious lmao just block/mute etc and do your thing!

[deadass-pool]

october 31, 2022 - halloween pms

oh boy oh boy DO I HAVE A STORY TO TELL

so in the past 3 months, i got a job, met new people, life kinda sucks, i met a boy, i also met another boy, i met more boys, went to a kpop music festival, met another boy, jesus fucking christ, please check in on my temper because my patience was tested.

aside from the clients that i have to deal with during my work hours in the morning hours to afternoon, i was also dealing with MEN and i dont know!!!! i havent been screwing around the dating scene in so long because i was so invested in other things such as being delusional with my celebrity crushes and college was sucking the life out of me but jesus christ, i kinda wished it stayed that way because now i got money problems (its a me problem) and boy problems (that i have to get rid ASAP)

anyways, i’m not gonna write about the 10 guys i talked to simultatnoeusly at once, the another 5 men whom all i met through stupid online dating apps, WHAT im gonna tell you is that i ended up forming a whatever situationship with a guy that i used to go to the same elementary school with. WHICH WAS WEIRD BECAUSE I KNEW HIM SINCE FOREVER LIKE IN 1ST GRADE IMAGINE HAVING HIM SEE YOUR TIDDIES NOW AT AGE 22 LIKE, THATS SO WEIRD WHO FUCKING KNEW RIGHT 

anyways, yeah based on the last paragraph that i have written, if it isn’t obvious enough for you, yes it was very sexual (and very confusing at times) and ITS SOMETIMES WEIRD because i cant stop picturing him as some random 6th grader that i walk past by numerous times when i was in 5th grade and idk idk its so fucking crazy like, THATS CRAZY RIGHT?? WHO KNEW LMFAO

anyways yea we would call each other at night, it was nothing serious, obviously. out of everyone he was my favorite since there was a common ground and experience we share so i felt more comfortable with him than the rest of the guys that i talked to. so i trusted him enough with photos that i took and hes literally the only guy i ever sent those photos to (and hes gonna get beat up by me if anything happens GOD FORBID ANYTHING HAPPENS) 

he would send good morning texts bla bla bla, it was a one month short lived experience until i decided to just be distant or whatever because hes literally any other guys. god, we were evn supposed to go on a date but it didnt happen. the point is, just because you knew him since forever does not mean he’s going to be different. i have met way too many of the same people like him, AND LIKE ME, to keep my guard up anyway.

anyways, the point is i can feel the void in me getting alot more worse. the more i entertain these men, even women (i cant for the life of god play with women even when im attracted to them i just CANT) the more i feel like this is all i ever am worth of.

i always dreamed about being cherished, being taken care of, being seen, being listened to, and just being loved and that’s because of the numerous love songs that i heard, movies that i watched and books i read, but why does it feel like i will never be worth of any of those things?

i think the dating scene of today made it worse. i think that’s why i can’t keep on settling for stuff like this anymore. i am not embarrassed to admit that i believe that i deserve being treated with respect and live the fluffy romantic corny shit you see in dramas. i truly want that lol

i just feel like i wasted so much time on spending to get to know these people, even when im not looking for anything serious, time is still a cost to even acknowledge their existence. i just feel like absolute shit over it.

idk maybe im just pmsing and its a halloween and i literally have nothing much better to do (i am literally supposed to go on errands but i ended up crying over the remaining balance in my bank account) but idk idk

and also i cut off my ties with this guy, not fully, just distanced myself. if he tries to reach out, then i’ll let him in. there’s nothing going on anyway and he’s a manwhore lol. idk im just upset over everything rn idk why im typing this maybe its because its eating me alive. did u guys know that i used to have such a huuuuuge crush on him until he went for the sexual part in our relationship or whatever we have and now i could not respect him at all lmfao

anyways, thats it ill tell more on the careeer part soon, im working on something. see if this one works out. we’ll see.

[myork]

manny's one year + milestone celebration ♡

i’ve never really been big on celebrating anything, even on my prev blog (jimeanour) i never really celebrated any milestones, even the big ones. so i feel like this has been due for a while <3 and i also realised that i completed one year on here from when i started posting my poetry to writing ff and leaving that altogether and settling for creating visual content. whatever it was that made me stay, im glad, because tumblr has become such a huge part of my everyday life. and despite how constantly engaging on a platform online makes me feel drained, stressed and anxious every once in a while, i’m still glad i have this outlet. and you♡ now here’s how i’ve decided to celebrate-

Here are my rules/ categories ♡

‧₊˚ ☆ enter request here 💌 ☆‧₊˚

now for the mutual(s) appreciation ♡ if you’re tagged, there’s a message for you! happy scrolling 🤡🤡these are things ive been wanting to say for a long time okay

@jimilter miss ashible i need to tell u how grateful i am for your support because you truly make me feel so comfortable and safe and appreciated. you’re such a gem and anyone who doesn’t believe it is LYIN!!!!!! truly one of the best people here ☹️💞ily so much thank you for being so annoying ☹️💗

@gukqi nhi i love you. thats it. thats the post. jokes aside im so grateful to have u as my internet husband you’re so talented and sweet and amazing and ilysm you’re so supportive and sometimes i just wanna run over to u to germany🥺💘 you’re truly one of my lifelines here and you make me want to open tumblr even when im discouraged to ☹️💗

@jeongcake tell i love you so much, you’re one of the best things thats ever happened to me and im so grateful to have u. we really do understand each other on a deeper scale and for that im grateful because i never have to hide from you ☹️💞from our jokes to our rare serious talks, im so happy to have u ily 🥺💞

@seokljin emma angel agenda. thats it. you’re literally like the most supportive person ive ever known how do u do it? how can all of that pixie fairy dust fit inside one angel of a human being? i feel like every time i post something esp jin related im like has emma seen this? and then i turn into a shy blushy school girl uwu. anyways if u haven’t translated it all yet- ily ☹️💗 and im so grateful for you.

@jeonqquk ivy my bby™️ you’re seriously such a whore gem ☹️💗ilysm and im so happy i have you. you’re part of my support system here and im so happy i can count on you. you’re really such a fun person. pls believe your gifs are amazing or ill punch u🥰 (dont u dare say kinky)

@joyfulhopelox maria my fav internet mother idk when you’ll see this but know that i love you and im always here for you 💗 thank you for always being there for me, youre truly such an angel. you’re so so amazing and rmr when i used to joke about you being not real? yeah, good times. sending lots of love to you and nugget and always hoping you’re okay💗💘

@usertae the bestest stella to ever exist 💀💀im kidding, i mean the sweetest, warmest, most welcoming person ever. ily celia you’re so nice and helpful and you were one of my first ever giffing mutuals even when i used to post complete trash💀idk what you saw then but just know that im grateful to have you as my mutual for so long and that you really raised in my standards in mutuals 💀🥺💗💘

@parkdatjimin MINDY BESTEST PERSON!! there, i said it 😤 ilysm and your tags JUST *squeals* *clenches fist* make my day ☹️you’re so supportive and im truly lucky to know you 💞💘💕💗

@still-with-koo lilo you call me a sweetheart when you're the biggest one there is ily☹️💖 you're so so sweet and warm and nice and just such a comfort person, im so glad we're mutuals ☹️💖💕

@itsallaboutzayn ESME SWEETEST PERSON AGENDA 😤im not even kidding, you’re so nice and supportive and i love all your asks, you always have so much love to give to people and i can only hope it’s returned tenfold because you deserve it 💕💘💕

@pjmsdior isa wifey i love you so much, you truly are one of the purest souls here and seeing u in my notifs or in my inbox makes so happy ☹️💗 ilyilyilyily

@dokyeomblr elv best elv favourite elv agenda!!!! you’re the nicest sweetest warmest person to exist and seeing u in my inbox or on my dash makes me light up like a christmas tree ☹️💗ily elvie

@jung-koook im so happy im finally getting the chance to say this, but i admire you so much sky. your dedication is commendable and everything you make is always in top tier quality and on top of all that you are so helpful and kind and i rmr getting a heart attack when you followed me 💀im so so grateful for all your help please know that💗💗

@taeyungie i know we just started talking but em, you’ve made me feel so warm and safe and i just, i feel like i could be myself with you. you’re so understanding and you love animals ☹️ the older grandma sister i didn’t know i needed, tho bullying you about it is more fun 🤡💗

@kimtaegis why so nice!!!!!!! hm?????? WHY 👏 SO 👏NICE????? jokes aside, i lurched off my bed when i saw the notification of a certain userkimtaegis-main following me one fine afternoon, and in true disney movie fashion, my life has never been the same. im just kidding ( or am i?🤨) but anyways annie you are so sO SO talented and everything you make is so pretty from coloring to quality everything. i admire you so so much and im so grateful to have you as a mutual 🥺💞💘

@marvelousbangtan sookies mom i hope i spelt that right😭 crystal ilysm your tags on my posts always make me so happy and your gifs are stunning and on top of all that youre so so so nice :(((((((((((💘💞💘im so happy we're mutuals :(

@gimbapchefs idk when you’ll see this 😭😭 nat *calls for a manhunt* but im so glad im mutuals with you ☹️you’re such a fun person, unproblematic person and i love interacting with you so much. im still so so grateful for the ptd in seoul stream, you gave me such an amazing opportunity and i’ll probably always be grateful for it and never ever forget it 💗i hope you’re doing well, hope to see you on my dash soon with your amazing gifs. imy ☹️💗

@jiminswn you’re really gonna make me repeat my giffing classes agenda huh 😔 jokes aside, miss alice im a fangirl. there i said it ☹️ you have the prettiest 16k ultra hd gifs and your colouring is gorgeous 😭😭ive been following u for so long, even before i started giffing and sometimes even now i wonder how u do it 🥺💗 any time i see u in my notifs, i get butterflies okay? ☹️💞

@min-boongie apart from being so pretty inside out *sobs* you're so nice reka and so so helpful. i meant what i said all those days ago, i look up to your content so much, your colouring is always so beautiful☹️💗💞💞💘

@heybaetae i was so scared to do this but miss kelli apart from your content that is prettiest in all the land with all the pretty colours and the highest quality sharpening, i feel like i actually screamed like a fangirl when you followed me back, more so when you rbed a set of mine with “#TALENT” yeah, im gonna get that laminated 😔

@rkivedfiles miss erl i love your gifs so much and your coloring is just so pretty and distinct i feel like i can recognise it from a mile away💗im so happy im mutuals with you :( you’re so nice and i still go back to look at that jimin set you made me ☹️💗

@hannahbee12719 miss hannah i think you’re literally nicest person ever😭 your tags make me feel so warm and appreciated and im so so grateful that im mutuals with you. i love and respect you so much 🥺☹️💗💘💕🥺

@hobeah flo ik you must be a little confused because we’ve interacted but also not too much but you HAVE to know how much i love your gifs. truly top tier content with the prettiest colouring and the quality just blows my mind even on the app 🥺💗

@userjiminie i had to tag you okay? i love love love your gifs so much miss rafa and you’re also so talented like esp your pinned post 😭 how do u do it☹️💗seeing your tags on my posts just makes my day okay? and you saying u like my content made me sob for 17 miniutes 😔🤧💕

@minieggukie apart from being the jikook™️ blog on here, miss kris i tagged u because i wanted you to know that you just have a very pretty coloring style okay? 🥺💕it just so soft and pretty and you even manage to gif lq videos so well 🤧 we don’t interact but pls know that i love your gifs so so much and i actually squealed when u followed me back *sniffs*

@sugajimin i tagged you because i wanted you to know that you have amazing gifs and your a-z with jimin is my fav thing on this hellsite 😭 and even your gfx are amazing!! you’re really so so talented, the quality of your gifs just makes me gasp sometimes, thank you for following me back 😭💞

@rosebowl miss sharika you just seem like a very cool person okay? your gifs are really really pretty and i just love looking at your 100days of seokjin series ☹️i hope you’ve been well 🤧💕

@kth1 miss maggie i know we don’t interact much but i needed u to know that i really really love your gifs <3 your coloring is vv pretty and your gifs are always in such high quality ☹️🥺💗

@sopev we’ve never interacted that much but miss daphne i tagged you to let you know that 1) idk how many times i’ve opened your blog to stare at your header 2) your gifs are stunning. stunning. period. they’re so colourful and so hq ☹️💕💘

@taechnological miss sae you’re just very cool okay? there i said it 😔 but apart from being so funny and cool i think you’re just a really great person to interact with and i absolutely love all your threads, your dedication is so so appreciated ☹️💗💕

@textsfrombangtan how does it feel to be the funniest, most iconic person on this hellsite? 😔 you have to know that i love your tags so much 🤧 and i sometimes stalk all your posts because your memes just make me really happy okay? ☹️ily hope you’re taking care of your (iconic) self 💗 or else 😤💪

@jinv my tag for you is coloring genius valeinstein💀 and rightfully so because miss val your coloring is truly something else, i got a bit dizzy when u started following me because ive been admiring you and your (amazing) content from afar for so long ☹️🥺💞💕

@cherryvmin kheer my darling, the absolute queen of moodboards i miss interacting with you but you have to know that i love your content so much and you’re really just so so nice and warm it melts my heart ☹️💗💘💕

@jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger nani my bb how are you 🥺💗i hope you’re doing okay. i tagged u to know that i love you and im so happy to be mutuals with you for so long 💗💘 anytime we interact, it fills me with so much warmth because you’re truly such a sweetheart ☹️💗

@jimijimimie pristine my darling imy okay? ily☹️💘 you’re so so talented and your tags on my posts just muah 💋 i hope you’ve been well, just know that im always here for you 💗💗

@tekootine val my baby i hope you’re okay ily so so much 💗☹️ you’re a total sweetheart whos so talented and im so happy whenever we interact because seeing you in my inbox brings the biggest smile on my face 💘💞 you’re just very precious okay? 🥺😭💕

@softbobamilktae zee i hope you know how much i appreciate you. we’ve been mutuals for quite a while now and i hope you know im so grateful for your support esp during that time in my dms 💗 you’re also so relatable in your tps omg 😳💞

@introlxv onyx bb we haven’t talked properly in so long but i just want to tell u that i love and appreciate you so much 💗☹️youre so fucking talented and amazing and im so happy i know you 💗💕💞pls never forget that 🥺💗

@moonsclover ahana my adopted bb ilysm and you're truly such a sweetheart i love love love your moodboards so much and anytime i see you in my inbox, it just brightens up my day by x323239💘💗💕

@fluffyydumplings fluffy i know we’ve completely stopped interacting but pls know that im so happy we’re still mutuals and that you’re so so talented and your voice oml is beautiful(i just remembered your narration(?) for that one fic). i hope you’ve been well 💗

@vopegist kyo dough i love u. thanks for coming to my ted talk. im just kidding, ik we haven’t talked in a while but just know that ily and am always here for you titty 💀☹️💗🥺

@rkivian miss kiri you’re such a fun person and im so glad we’ve been mutuals for so long ☹️ you really stole my heart when u dmed me all those months ago hskdjsks besides everything, i really love it when you tag me in games okay? makes me feel connected to you even tho its been so long since we interacted ☹️💗

@parkjiminxfloor jans idk when you’ll see this bb but know that ily and im forever grateful for your support🥺💞thank you for all your sweet asks and tags, they always make my day 💗💗you’re amazing 💫

@alpacaseok star we just became mutuals but know that i really appreciate you and you’re just really a very sweet, supportive person 🥺💞

@thornedswan ik we’ve barely interacted but pls know im always so so grateful for you reblogging my gifs 💗

@cosyserendipity sonjaaa you’re so so sweet and i think i already told you this but im always so so grateful for your reblogs 🥺💗 and that the fact that you tag me in games, i love those!💘💗💞

@crispy-chan jas my absolute darling favourite baby ever 🥺💗i love you so so much and i miss you and our conversations a lot ☹️💗 youre such an amazing person and on top of all that you’re literally so talented and sweet. i hope you’re taking care of your precious self (hows apple 💀💗) miss you and love you tons pls know that i tagged u last so that u could find yourself amongst all these bts blogs 😭

#milestone 💌 #did i say im grateful for all the love and support? ofc i am ♡ #i cant feel my fingers lol 😭 #im sorry if i forgot someone ☹️it wasn’t intentional at all 🥺💗

[citrinesparkles]

welcome home.

jason todd x gender neutral reader. 2,086 words. notes: requested by an incredibly flattering anon as part of my hundred followers celebration! thank you again for the feedback, and for enabling me :) also was subconsciously influenced by this piece. warnings: arguing, discussion of danger, reader gets accidentally threatened, patching up wounds, lots more swearing than my usual (but it's all mild language). angst and comfort, i think. super dialogue heavy. this is so long and a little (lot) messy just. prepare yourself

"man," a robotic voice echoed dangerously through the dark living room, sending chills through you. "did you pick the wrong apartment."

luckily, the voice was familiar. "um, the one i live in?"

he choked out your name, startled, and you flicked on the light switch to find him frozen in place with a gun in his hand.

"right." you said tensely, glancing at it- which made him jerk his hand down, shoving the gun into its holster as though it burned him- and looking back up at the eyes of his helmet. "so, uh, i'll turn a light on next time."

"you shouldn't be home yet," he said stiffly.

"i texted you like, three hours ago to let you know i'd be home a day early."

he swore quietly. "my phone's in the river."

"how did it- you know what, at least that explains the radio silence. you didn't think to have someone else- anyone else- let me know?"

"uh." he paused, tensing almost imperceptibly for a moment. "no. i was, uh, i was busy. i'm sorry."

"busy, huh?" something felt very wrong, and not just the fact that he had nearly shot you. "okay, i'll bite, busy with what?"

"nothing important."

the sinking feeling in your stomach intensified and your eyes narrowed dangerously. "important enough that you forgot to tell me you weren't dead in an alley somewhere, when you knew i'd be texting to check in anyway. leaving me worrying in a hotel room in another city."

"nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to worry about." you were really getting sick of the sound of his modulator, but he continued before you could say anything. "go back to what you were doing, babe."

"yeah... uh, no." you stepped forwards and he flinched back defensively, making you freeze. "seriously, what is up with you tonight?"

"noth-"

"jason, i promise if you say nothing one more time, i'm going to lose my mind."

he shifted his foot back slightly, and you took a deep breath.

"okay," you conceded, raising your hands up in surrender and moving backwards yourself. "respecting your space now. that wasn't my best decis-"

your voice cut out when something under his jacket caught your eye.

something red.

"holy crap, jason, what the hell?"

he winced quietly. "you weren't supposed to be home yet, okay?"

"take that stupid helmet off already, would you?" you snapped, already moving to get the first aid kit.

"i would've gone somewhere else if i'd known, okay?" his voice, now clear and crisp without the filter, followed you down the hall.

"that does not make this better!"

"can you please not yell at me right now?"

you dashed back into the room, shooting a vicious glare at him. "jacket."

he slid it off gingerly, dropping it on the couch next to his helmet.

"can you get the armor, or do i need to help?"

even despite the domino mask he was wearing, you could tell he was rolling his eyes. "if i couldn't do it on my own, why would i have come here if i didn't think you'd be home?"

"hm," you took the piece he handed you and carefully set it on the couch, "maybe because you're a stubborn jackass?"

he grunted, sliding his undershirt off and passing it to you. "i don't wanna stain the couch with that."

"your priorities suck."

"it's the nicest piece of furniture we own!"

"it's still a couch!"

"it was expensive!"

"oh for crying out loud-" you threw your hands up again, this time in frustration. "fine! fine. i'll go put this in the tub and get a soak going. you-" you shoved the kit towards him pointedly- "start washing that off."

"how come you're calling the shots?" he snapped back petulantly.

"because my torso's in one piece."

"i have way more experience with this, i should be making the decisions here."

"oh, of course, my apologies!" your voice was absolutely dripping in sarcasm. "what, pray tell, would you have us do?"

he scowled at you for a moment before reaching for the first aid kit and flicking the lid open. "whatever."

you turned on your heel, stomping into the bathroom.

the shirt got thrown into the tub and the tap got tossed all the way on, and as the water crashed into the gray fabric, you took the opportunity to squeeze your eyes shut and breathe deeply.

you opened your eyes a minute later, finding the water dyed a rusty almost-red from blood.

his blood.

you turned off the tap- gently pushed the handle, this time, the fire in your chest now largely extinguished- and made your way back to the living room to find him running a rag over the space below his ribs.

"may i?" you asked softly, stopping a few feet away and holding a hand out to him.

his jaw clenched and relaxed three times in quick succession, but he finally sighed and dropped his shoulders before holding the rag out. "yeah, c'mere."

you worked in silence, being as gentle as possible. jerking your hand back and mumbling apologies when he hissed.

"s'okay, comes with the territory."

you pressed the alcohol-soaked towel back against him, and he sighed.

"that was stupid, huh."

a small laugh escaped you. "it so was."

"can we..."

"try that again?"

"yeah."

you pulled back, standing up straight to meet his eyes. "only if i can take the dumb mask off of you."

"i thought you liked the mask," he teased, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

"jason."

he chuckled, wincing again when it jostled his wounds. "ouch. uh, yeah, mask. g'head."

you gently pulled it from his face, setting it neatly on his other gear before running your thumbs across the line of adhesive it left on his cheekbones. "hi there."

"hey." he leaned into your touch, vibrant eyes fluttering halfway shut. "so uh, welcome home."

"thanks. could've done without the gun, though."

a choking sound tore from his throat, his eyes flying back open. "holy shit, baby, i almost-" he jerked back from you, no regard for his side. "you almost- shit, shit, are you- i'm so sorry, i didn't-"

"okay, woah, hey-"

"i could have killed you."

it was a whisper, horrified and harsh, and while it was technically true, his tone teetered on the edge of a dark space you had seen before and really didn't want him falling back into.

"yeah."

you desperately searched for the right thing to say, rejecting variations of "but hey, you didn't actually", "maybe you should be more careful about waving a gun at people", and one particularly unhelpful "no shit, sherlock".

finally, you settled on a quiet, calm "but i'm still right here, okay?"

his hand flew up to cover his mouth, doing absolutely nothing to hide the near panic written on his features. "i could have killed you."

"okay, so, in the future, we'll... we'll uh, we'll come up with some kind of system for letting you know when i'm home, or something."

"oh, like a phone?" he asked harshly. "the one i was stupid and sloppy enough to dunk in the harbor?"

"that wasn't- i'm guessing that you had a lot on your plate." you waved the cold, bloody towel in your hand at his wounds. it made him curl in on himself slightly, stepping backwards again until his back hit the arm of the couch.

"no excuses. i could have killed you."

"i-"

"no, i almost shot without saying anything!" he exclaimed, brow furrowed and eyes stormy. "i thought someone had broken in, and i got so- i don't even know, damn territorial or some stupid shit- that i almost put a bullet between your eyes. i could have-"

"jason!"

he screwed his eyes shut and dropped his head, roughly tugging his fingers through his hair. "i almost-"

"but you didn't. okay?" every fiber of your being wanted to hold him, to tug him into you and put his hand against your ribs and show him you were okay and breathing, heart still pumping, but he looked enough like a cornered animal that you half expected him to bite you if you tried. "c'mon, jaybird. a life like yours, can you really afford almosts?"

"life like mine, i can't afford to let anyone close to me. apparently, if the goons and thugs don't kill you, i will."

"that's not-"

"what if i hadn't said something?" he snapped venomously. "what if i'd lost more blood and was loopy from it? what if i'd come home with a concussion- again- and didn't think past 'point and shoot'?"

"jason," you finally interjected. "you think i haven't thought about that?"

his eyes, grim and vicious and so full of emotion that you thought you could drown in them, dropped to the floor.

"because it's not a secret that your life is risky. you're risky. i know that. but you're worth every ounce of danger, okay? i'm choosing this, choosing you, knowing full well what i'm getting into, because you're worth all of it."

"i'm not worth any of it."

"that's not your call to make."

"it-"

"you think i need you to make my choices for me?"

"no, of course not."

"you think im stuck here?"

"do you feel like you are?"

"absolutely not." you inched forward again. "i'm here because i want to be."

"...i just... i don't..."

"don't want me to get hurt?"

he finally looked back up at you, eyes watery and jaw tense. "or worse."

"i know, baby. i know," you sighed. "but that's part of life, right? and if the hurt's inevitable, i want the rest of my time to be as nice as possible, and you make my life better. make me better."

"by putting you in danger?"

"it's gotham, handsome, i'm gonna be in danger either way. at least with you, i know i have someone looking out for me. right?"

"always," he said immediately.

"okay then." you took the last step between the two of you slowly, watching for any resistance. meeting none, you brushed your knuckles against his. "i can't think of anywhere i'd feel safer."

"you know that's crazy, right?"

you hummed quietly. "nah."

"i'm being serious."

"me too."

he studied your face silently. you smiled softly at him.

finally, a sigh escaped him and he scooted his hand forward, wrapping his index finger around your own and squeezing gently. "you're sure you want this? i can set you up with a place downtown for a bit. you'd never have to see me again, never have to worry about... all of this."

"i've never been more sure of anything." you said it firmly, confidently, letting the words hang in the air for a few moments before popping one eyebrow up playfully. "why, need to make room for a side piece?"

a startled choking sound escaped him. "excuse me?"

"i mean, when you were talking about being busy, it felt kinda suspicious."

"what is wrong with you?" he asked, exasperation and laughter coating his voice.

"listen, you were being evasive!" his head fell forwards, resting on your shoulder as he laughed.

"i didn't want you to know i was bleeding all over the place!"

"why, didn't want me to worry?"

"exactly!"

you reached your free hand up, gently resting it on the back of his head and playing with his hair. "then maybe, just maybe, you should have gotten someone to tell me your phone went for a swim."

"fair enough."

you stood quietly for a long time, running your fingers through his hair and enjoying the feeling of his breath against your collar.

"i..." he muttered, pulling back to look in your eyes. "i don't think- um. i don't think i'm..." he groaned, gaze darting to the ceiling. "i love you. but the minute you have enough of- of all of this-"

"i won't."

"but if you do, i'll... i'll understand, okay?"

you squeezed his finger gently. "okay." you inhaled deeply, dropping the bloody towel you were still clutching and slid your hand forward to hold his completely. "can we get a bandage on that and go to bed, now?"

"....yes please."

---

"wait!" you yelled, throwing the first aid kit haphazardly onto the bathroom counter and racing after him into the bedroom, where he whirled around with wide eyes. "i love you too! i never said it back- i love you too."

"don't yell like that- i thought something was wrong!"

"me not saying it back is urgently wrong, jason!"

#citrine writes #this was. this was a monster #i sure hope you enjoy because i'm unsure how quality it is #jason todd #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd imagine #jason todd x reader #imagines #dc #dc imagines #dc imagine #blood cw #medical cw

[whaleofatjme1920]

[Chris, Agent, She/They, mid 20s]

First Scp letter

To: 076

From: Agent Chris G. [Redacted]

Hi Able! Happy Valentines day my love, i may not be with you right now, but i will be soon. Meanwhile i'll kinda just write you while im away for you to read it. I hope the foundation staff let you have it

I found more animals, they were in bad condition we can wash them and heal them together. I saw a little kitten it reminded me of you because of your behaviors for being somewhat aggressive and stubborn, but at the same time it was adorable.

I had to go because im in the hospital right now. You still can visit me though it would cost you some good behavior, i know you have had some rampage moments because you haven't seen me at all. A bird told me that, no seriously someone came with a bird costume to my room.

Please remind calm, i will be back around 1 month, 1 months goes by really fast. Anyways, i bought a weighted blanked i wanted to give it to you in person because i know they wouldn't give it to you. I hope this take your fever from sleeping in the hard floor, how many times do i have to tell you that grass and concrete are different?

Do you remember when we meet, and i found that kitty on the floor and i am gratefull that you let me have it, and you even ask me how to wash it because it was covered in a lot of dirt. I think i also remember the kitten almost attack you, it was funny to be honest.

Able i love you, i love how safe you make me feel and how good of a significant other you are, even with your r̶e̶d̶ f̶l̶a̶g̶s̶ fun facts about yourself. I know you are someone who is really hard working and you will get your own freedom or whatever you desired to happen next. You deserve it.

I love you.

If i get out early from here, would you like some chocolates? Or anything you like or want?

Pd: Tell Iris that i saw her snapchat story and tell her it was sick, and that it was because someone clog the toilet with pink glitter, and i was there too they also put a camera and they ban me from going out to the dunking donuts because someone said i was doing drugs.

[Disclaimer: Letters To Those You Hold Dear (Valentine's Edition) is a special event I'm holding from February 13th - February 23rd 11:59 PM. Find the guidelines HERE so you can send a letter or two to those you hold dear <3.]

Item #: SCP-076

Object Class: Keter

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Addendum 076-2.2: A Loving Response

The Following is SCP 076-2's response to a love letter from Agent G. Chris [REDACTED]. After being cleared by Dr. Glass and Dr. Gears respectively, SCP 076-2 was allowed to write a letter response. SCP 079-2's response was shown to the subject of his desire. A cope of the original letter is listed below.

It is always a pleasure to hear from you, حبيبي.

Happy Valentine's to you as well. I wish we were together to celebrate it. It isn't often that I have time to celebrate little things such as this, but know that I am whether we are together or apart. What kind of animals did you find? Perhaps I could offer some more insight, whatever makes you happiest. Cats have always had a soft spot with me, I think they're fantastic little creatures, and the fact it reminded you of me... It makes me smile. That little cat you found and ended up keeping - how are they doing? I've missed them, and you dearly. I assume they need a another bath!

To see you, I would do many things. And I hope the poor bastard reading this does not take that as a threat, but rather a further declaration of my love for you. What happened to you? Are you alright? I hope I can see you soon. As I write, this I feel my writing becoming more and more messy as I yearn to see you - to take care of you. My anger admittedly gets the best of me, and while these psychologists try, that rage will never fall back down. I'm sorry.

As for your other notes, you are far, far too kind to me, much more than I deserve. Plants and I... Admittedly do not get along very well. I am far, far too used to concrete, but the blanket is a nice touch. Thank you.

I love you, and I hope to see you soon. I cannot address your other notes as the Foundation could take them as something wrong, or a foreboding of something ill, but know that I share in sentiments and hope to see you soon. You don't need to get me anything, that would also be far, far too kind.

All of my love,

Able

#letters to those you hold dear #My apologies love bug I'm not familiar with Iris? #scp 076 2 headcanon #scp 076 2 x reader #scp 076 2 #scp x reader #scp headcanon

[madfantasy]

I haven't seen you post in a while, I hope you've been doing okay? How is everything? Hope it's been a good year so far for you 💕💕

You're too kind, u & everyone who made inquiries, bless ur hearts.. im sorry for disappearing, but yeah, I don't have net— using my phone credit and hope this posts..

I tried to record my voice answering this, like I sometimes did on tik, suddenly ended up trying to muffle the floods of my burning tears, so now I have an awkward vid of me talking then weeping out of nowhere, which a good reason for me to keep up the no cry habit, heh.. but seriously, I suppose I'm fine till I be conscious of it.. its much easier for not to talk .. even tho I'm aching to be back in thy company, lonely in my foresight to catch on to the present that joins us, hand held out to reach like minded souls but shying from the fear of forgetfulness occurring..

I'm fine tho, did few new stuff, merely drowning in too muchness and nothingness as usual, this month I guess you could say I took an act of mad fury in search of any happy source because the echoing silence and the swarm of sadness nipping on my brain cells thickened, and the reasoning merged with the obscene. So instead of giving my guardians the usual of 3/4 of my earnings last month for net and groceries, I spent it all. Ya know, as it was told to me it mine to do as I please? As being prevented any chance of work if it was possible, 't was supposed to be spent on art supplies & measly delights craved for years ?

Before hand, I've been begging them to take me for months to get any clothing or whatever, be it the first time I ever see a shop, then just to drive around, then just me peaking to the outside when the front door is open, merely seeking change I suppose. They kept vaguely promising me until they refused point blank— getting tired of my nagging, then their car just stopped working till this day. Its in the workshop rn..

Anyway, befouled by despair, needing the mere basics of life and not granted, I was delighted when i found a site to buy from cheap & pretty, I pressed buy without any further considerations, or taking their permission and thrilled to be able get gifts for my siblings too. I say gifts but really they are deprived necessities too and not even much just one each cuz well, they are 5 of my babies and to start with the top of priorities; we all draw

I could already see it, they can't help themselves; heck seeped through the clenched gates of their mouths, trying desperately to poison me with undirect attempts this time, cuz I bought for my sibs they're out of the option of calling me selfish. I was upping the same trance like state of vague existence dealing with them, absorbing their insults and degrading just to make sure my shi arrives safe.

Unfortunate for me, the site chose the worst carrier in this country

I did everything in my power to make it into their convenience, by embarrassingly messaging the carrier daily, they took a week of promising to deliver and flanking so my guardians reached a heated level of threatening, waving their hands nd almost tossing shi at mE saying that they don't care if they came and if i dared to order something again they'll do this and that. Not allowing me to open the door for the delivery guy when he comes, blaming me for missing vaccination dates (they kept missing them even before)& missing going to important places(again, they just didn't go to for ages), made them loose sleep, etc etc— in turn, I seen red and regretfully blew up.

I screamed at them its literally the only time I ever did this, it BECAUSE it easier on them & I'll do what I want whatever anyway, & to stop interrupting me while I try to explain things , then they suddnly back done and be like I'm not mad at u I'm mad at the delivery ppl, that they are proud of me for being able to do all this, and such sort. I left them to cool in my room, Idk how I did it but must have slam-gripped something so hard it chipped most of my short nails & cracked one, was glad I didn't hurt my drawing hand but yeah, goofy mani

They robbed me of the joy of anticipation & the dissipation of apathy, I started to lose sleep again and my liberating dreams left me and I don't think I remember leaving bed.

But still, If not force myself to do things.. there'll be nothing for me if I don't.. at least I know im able of that

I got my guardians happy tho after another tiresome refusal, by trying out one of those Uber-eat like local apps here, since they have no car and being disabled & ill, I ordered McDonald's for the first time. Slythry behind their backs per habit, told them someone coming and they had that look again, but thankfully the guy came through and didn't steal my money, heh. For a big 1800 calories meal I suppose it was passable, the happy fam faces I got was the real treat..

Oh with that thing with the credit card stating I owe them money, waited weeks & nobody got back to us? They started taking from my guardian's account directly to pay it, saying oh we did send you warnings--- TO THE SHADOWY LINES OF THEIR POSTERIOR A.K.A NOWHERE. Thankfully the account is mostly empty nd just for random transactions, i alerted my guardians not to use it. And again, my god, another round of endless calls and promises started, and we wait again so they just don't act as if we owe them a frking 17k dollars that we don't have.. was panicking cuz I have nothing and but my guardians were weirdly comforting about it and told me not to worry

One thing good bout no net is it made me stop thinking about life in general, and stop the tiny unnoticeable prick of misery when I have no input to share, trying not to helplessly compare people just living, in inflated style or not, in media, to my isolated-most-of-my-life style and missing much of that organic "life experiences and chances", heh. At least, my situation would be favorable to me if it was ever possible for it to let me have peace, or have the simple knowledge I'm not virtually imprisoned and have never familiarised with nothing of this world but the surrounding walls.. its nice to have more time to be consumed by muse and day dreaming that flutters life through my dull being and sing chorus of inspiring means for art to flow and finds its way delicately onto my realised canvas.. but no, I continued drawing whilst sight blurred with salty droplets contradicting that happy tintin dance on tiktok I worked so long on just cuz I couldn't stop, not the tears or the mad scribbles of determined intention to visualise the mourned excitement I need, hating everything I make

Somehow the lilac dream still intrudes, visualising me friends, living, in a quaint home, maybe we roommate, arm in arm we go to make every fracture of fate's encounters a disgusting adventurous thrill, like building a maze of cardboard or chasing each other in the dark.. maybe getting that half bleached head and endless ear pericings ... then it dies and I totally forget it..

But what those awesome headphones helped me do, literally blocks all their voices listening to Sev losing it and I can Waltz around not feeling gutted to go and interfere or play the referee each time. But I can't wear them forever, gives me a bad headache, and honestly; I can't be too neglectful.. my sibs hates me for it already hehe

At least these clothing came true to their measurements, felt the new sensations on how everything I wore hugs me & learnt the baffling ways on how "gender" and region plays different tunes on the same measurements. Getting fitting things felt like suddenly there's hope to be, for myself to be me, and ease this severe disassociation between who I am, and what my body is .. from how little I see myself nd consider it worthy of anything because of how long it been living like a phantom among people.. to numb this dysphoria until it be gone one day

Saddened that the only site I can't order from again if they keep using that awful carrier

...

I missed our country's 91 national day, too. They made sales everything 91 riyal so.. but knowing the sellers here, I don't think most of em went true with their offers.. Horrible news tho on the celebrations, sigh

I turned this into a dear diary, guess bothered you enough today, sorry

So thankful to yous, Idk if I can be back, but I'll remain creating, and will keep the thought alive of being tickled when sharing my creations with your viewing pleasure somehow

'till then my precious dears, take care 💛🙏

26.9.2021, 8 pm, sleeping

#ask #text #diary #personal #my art #miss

[boobz-fye]

Comforting them after losing a game

Includes: Oikawa Tooru, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kageyama Tobio, and Keiji Akaashi x G/N reader.

Warnings: the boys doubting themselves and cursing(I think I only said one bad word in kageyamas but whatever)

Rant: Ok, I feel like this post is actual shit. Like I say that about almost all of my posts- but this one is very bad. The only good one is Ushijimas I think, so I hope I do all of the characters a little justice tho. Also sorry that I haven't been posting much (for like two weeks) I have been very busy, and been dealing with writer's block. I will try and post something else some time next week. Think it's gonna be fluff for MHA tho. Anyways, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS!!!!!

Oikawa Tooru~

It all happened too fast. He could have sworn that they were just in the lead, ahead of Shiratorizawa by two points. He was so close to beating them. And now what is he going to say to you, or the team? He promised all of you that they will win this only to not fulfill it. Slowly dragging his feet out of the gym, Oikawa starts to feel tears building up in his vision. ‘No you can't cry right now.’ Oikawa thinks as he starts to pick up a pace. Maybe this is all just a bad dream and he will wake up soon.. Yeah that sounds right. He can wake up and have a fresh start of the day, win against Shiratorizawa, then celebrate with his team mates, and to top it all off go over your house and cuddle the whole night.  Oh how lovely that sounds, only if that wasn't another fantasy planted in his head.

Overwhelmed with emotions Oikawa finally comes out of the locker rooms, only to see you sitting on the floor. “What are you still doing here baby?” You look up to see Oikawa putting on a fake smile that makes your heart break. “Come here..” You say rising to a standing position, with your arms open and welcoming. Oikawa doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, and be consumed by your warmth. “You did amazing out there handsome.” Those few words made Oikawa feel butterflies in his stomach. The only thing that could make him feel better were your praises. But he still couldn't help the small ache in his chest, remembering that he promised everyone that they would win this game and make it to nationals. “If I did good then why didn't we win?” He says with a slight crack in his voice, making an ache of your own spread through your chest. “Maybe it was just luck. You were only off by one point, plus if it makes you feel better you'll be able to beat their ass in spring!” A breathy chuckle escaped from Oikawa's mouth, causing a grin to form on your face. “You're right baby, we will beat them in spring.”

Ushijima Wakatoshi~

Ushijima wasn't used to losing. The reality didn't hit him until he heard the opposing teams audience cheer. Looking over to the scoreboard when he hears the whistle being blown, only to see that his team has lost. A bitter taste settles on Ushijima’s tongue. But he is once again pulled out of his thoughts by a hand resting on his shoulder. He turns around to see his team standing behind him with a look of true defeat. “C’mon Ushijima, we have to line up” Tendou says with a tone a little different from his usual cheery one. Not knowing what to say Ushijima just grunts with a small nod.

Walking outside of the gym Ushijima starts to replay the game in his head to try and see where they went wrong, but soon was interrupted by some arms wrapping around him from behind. “Hi bubs.” you say nuzzling your head into his back. “Hello Y/N.”  “Soooo…” you try to think of what to say that will make Ushijima feel better, but it's hard to do so when he can be very blunt at some points and not understand what you are trying to get at. “Yes?” Ushijima says tugging at the sleeve of your jacket to gain your attention back to him. “How are you feeling after the game?” There is a little moment of silence that comes over the two of you causing a slight panic cloud in your mind, because what if he took your question the wrong way- “I don’t know how to feel about losing, I'm upset because we put a lot of effort in that game just to lose. But they won fairly, so I guess that just shows that we weren't good enough.” Ushijima states bluntly. You're kind of taken back by his answer, but notice how his eyes show more emotion than his words. You could tell that he was more than just upset. “Don't say that Ushijima, you guys did amazing out there. You guys were only off by a couple points!” You say as you take Ushijima’s hand into your own. “But still we tried our best and it wasn't enough.” You felt his hands tremble a little in your touch, looking at him with a soft gaze you say “I'm sorry bub, you will get them next time though, I know you will because you are good enough.” Ushijima nods and mumbles a thank you, while gently squeezing your hand. It's times like this, when Ushijima shows you his vulnerable side, that you hold dear to your heart.

Kageyama Tobio~

Kageyama dreaded feeling the pain in his chest after losing a game. He would never get used to it, and doesn't really care enough too anyways. Maybe if he didn't send the ball to Hinata, knowing that the idiot will just close his eyes, then they could have won. But even then Oikawa’s tricky serves would still be a pain to work around. Not to mention how fast the whole team learns their opponents weaknesses. Kageyama had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he forgot he had to meet up with you at a cafe in 6 mins. Today seems to just get worse and worse by the second and he doesn't know if he will be able to keep himself together for much longer.

You hear the bell on the cafe door ring, causing you to turn around and see that all too familiar face. Kageyama walks over to you and takes his seat. Only when he finally looks up you notice that he is panting. “Did you run all the way here kags?” “Yeah, would have been late if I didn't.” Kageyama never liked being late to anything that has to do with you, it makes him feel guilty, and he doesn't want to add upsetting you to the list of shitty things that have happened today. “I'm ok with you being a little late baby, especially when you just got back from your game…” Kageyeama drops his gaze back down to the table remembering that was the first game you got to see him play in just for them to lose, how embarrassing- “Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up.” you say rubbing the back of your neck. “It's ok….”  “Look at the menu and pick what you want, it's on me!” Kageyama shoots his head up and stares at you with wide eyes “Idiot im not letting you pay.” He mumbles while a blush spreads across his face. “Aww c'mon babe I can pay, let me get you some comfort food!” “Comfort food?” “Yeah food always helps me with stress” Before Kageyama could think over his next words, his mouth and brain betrayed him. “I think cuddles would make me feel better.” Both of you are taken back by his words, Kageyama was always so stubborn, forcing you to pick up hints from his behavior and piece them together to know what he wants. But you don't mind the forwardness; it helps you get straight to the point. Kageyama on the other hand is freaking out, he doesn't know if he was being too blunt or not, and your silence is not helping. “Never mind… forget what I said” “Whattttt, that sucks cause I was going to say yes but since you insist.” “Shut up, we can head over to mine after eating, the meal that I will be paying for, and cuddle. Now pick what you want already I don't have all day.” “Sir yes sir!” You say with a salute. “Dont do that you look dumb” Kageyama says, while trying to supress a grin. “You're so meannnnn” You whine with a pout. Even though Kageyama is teasing you the only thing you seem to be able to focus on is the way he starts to let loose and laugh around you. And when you look into his eyes all you see is love, not a trace of sorrow.

Akaashi Keiji~

It's only been a few minutes since the tragic game has ended and akaashi is already past the limit of stress he can handle. From the fact that they actually lost a game, while also trying to encourage the team and tell them that they will do better next time, and also trying to help bokuto get out of emo mode akaashi was starting to get a headache and wanted to just go home to sulk and attempt to relax. So once when he gets out of the shower akaashi throws on some clothes and runs out the locker room to the front gate. Not expecting you to be there waiting for him.

As Akaashi approaches the front gate he sees you standing there alone. “Y/N, what are you doing here? It's getting late.” “I know, I just wanted to check up on you” Akaashi looks into your worried eyes, causing him to feel a little guilt. Is he the cause of the expression on your face? “Oh well then can I walk you home?” You nod in approval, letting him take your hand and lead the way. A comfortable silence takes over the two of you, but you still can't help but feel like something is still off about Akaashi today, and none of his fake smiles and replies will put this thought at ease. “Hey Akaashi?” “Yes?” you stay silent for a little trying to think of the right words to say. “You know you guys did amazing at the game today right?” Akaashi hums in response, as the hold on your hand becomes a little shaky. “Good, because it's the truth. Just don't beat yourself up about it, you're great at what you do. Even though you guys didn't win I know you are still deserving of it. The only reason your opponents had a chance, was because of the chance balls. Plus you and your team have way more chemistry with each other then they did, it's almost like all of you can read each other's minds… Sorry I was rambling again.” Akaashi turns around and stares at you this time with a real smile on his face. “It's ok love, I think it's cute when you run your mouth. Now why don't we head over to your house instead? I want you to help me get rid of my stress, ok?” “And how can I help you with that?” Akkashi brings your hand towards his lips and gives it a quick kiss. “Cuddles of course, and let me eat whatever food you got in your house.” Akaashi says with a wink. On your way home you can't help but admire your caring boyfriend, always making time for you even when he's too emotionally and physically tired.

#akaashi x y/n #akaashi fluff #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi keji x reader #akaashi x reader #akaashi x you #akaashi keiji #kageyama tobio #kageyama x reader #kageyama x you #kageyama x y/n #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima x you #ushijima x reader #ushijima x y/n #ushijima fluff #kageyama fluff #oikawa tooru #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x you #oikawa x reader #oikawa fluff #haikyuu fluff #ok bye