#apologizing at the bottom for putting it in our tag. im sad they feel the need to apologize

[prttydolls]

all you are hurting is, yourself. ˖*°࿐ᵕ̈ Draco Lucius Malfoy.

ˋ°•*⁀➷ anon request :: OR OR, a dark!angst where draco loses himself in grief over readers death? entirely up to you, i’ve too many thoughts fksbkdns. i love your writing! don’t forget to take breaks and look after yourself?

ˋ°•*⁀➷ warning(s) :: death, drinking, ghosts, force relationships

ˋ°•*⁀➷ authors note :: thank u sm for requesting!! also awwwww im so touched bye 😭💕 tyyysm! (edit, this is my former apology for the kriss smut.)

draco couldn't believe it, you were gone. he lost you, just because some stupid death eater wanted to kill him.

and you, sacrificed yourself for someone whos arrogant, ungrateful, rude brat.

he truly didn't deserve an angel like you to take your life for him, him to live again.

all he only got from you was a faint... “i love you drac, take care.” before your eyes closed as you dozed off to your death. he saw your soul jump out of your body, and slowly evaporated into the air. gone.

you were gone.

just like that.

˖*°࿐ᵕ̈

that was years ago, you might atleast expect draco to move on.

but how can he when he lost the most perfect thing in the world? he knew he couldn't just leave you that. he felt like he was cheating on you, even tho you already passed.

his parents tried to set him up with other girls.

girls who were rich.

girls who were pureblooded.

girls who were fake.

it made him feel disgusted at his parents, all they cared was the heir.

"draco, you are the only son of ours we need you to carry the malfoy name.”

“draco, move on.”

" draco-”

draco this, draco fucking that. CANT THEY SHUT UP?!

all they cared, was that since his birth.

carry the malfoy name.

thats what he didn't wanna do, carry his fucking family name. what draco didn't know, you saw everything that happened to draco.

you extremely felt sorry for the love of your life, but alast u cant do anything because you were dead.

all you could do was watch him from afar, as a ghost.

˖*°࿐ᵕ̈

you had enough of draco's actions, although you were dead you needed to put some sense into him.

he had been drinking alot, and 99% of the time he wasn't sober.

this isn't the draco you knew since the 1st year.

draco was throwing another shot of fire whiskey down his throat, the taste burning his throat, it hurts but it feels so good.

“draco.” you said, slowly appearing him in the bathroom.

draco didn't listen to the voice, he thought he was hallucinating. “perhaps you didn't hear me, Draco.” you called out once more.

your voice was... wasn't the same as it was before. it sounded so ghostly.

“y/n..?” he turned around to see a ghost wearing a night gown, a torn one to be exact.

the same excact one you wore in your funeral.

a beautiful, floral night gown with beautiful blossoms embroidered at the bottom.

your hair looked damaged, but you still looked beautiful.

just as beautiful as he met you at the train, all those years ago.

“draco, listen to me i dont have much time. i want you, to move on please. my heart cant see you like this, all depressing and sad. i want you to find someone to make you happy again, someone who you could hold during lonely nights. someone who you could call, your soulmate. i, am dead now draco i cant be alive anymore. you seriously need to move on, you aren't hurting your parents, or anyone.

all you are hurting is, yourself.”

draco was stunned, this really was you. he wasn't even hallucinating...

“i love you draco, truly. you were my first everything. but it pains me to say this, i cant be with you anymore. for all i am now, is a ghost.” you said, as ghastly tears flooded your cheeks as you held dracos arm.

he felt your touch for the first time in years, it wasnt the same as before. it wasnt warm, and fuzzy the type of fuzzy that would make his heart rate.

it now just feels, cold and bone chilling.

"so, please just for me. move on?”

“yes, ill move on. for you, darling.”

tag list: @dracoslittleangel @imabee-oralizard @f4iryluvy @lilytoyourjames @siriusblackstwin @thehalfbloodedwitch @hhesperidess @bigpoppajes @dr4cosimp @blackthunder137 @pottahishotasf @slytherin-princess247 @n0agranger

#draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x ghost!reader #draco x you #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco x ghost!reader #draco malfoy angst #x reader #angst #tw death #tw drinking #— {🐚} her work's !

[teardew]

hey. as an viet american i dont think ppl should hav to apologize for putting “free palestine” posts in the “stop asian hate” tag. especially palestinians

ik they dont want backlash from americans and for others to resent their cause if they feel palestinians are “appropriating” “stop asian hate” so im talking to americans here, theyr being forcibly evicted, bombed, killed en masse, ethnically cleansed, and just casually being war crimed

im not making this “oppression olympics” i just want others to understand theyr extremely desperate. and social media is their ONLY recourse since the news outlets wouldnt cover them and even now that they are (and only bc it was trending on sns) its filled with pro israel propaganda and their own hashtags r being suppressed, so they hav to get their cause trending somehow

the way i see it when they make parallels to “stop asian hate” theyr trying to appeal to us and asking for solidarity not “undermining” or “appropriating” it. from what iv seen palestinians hav always stood with others across borders and overseas even when they r one of the ones who hav suffered the most

and i think everyone who supports “stop asian hate” should unquestionably support “free palestine” especially asians since palestinians are west asian and especially americans considering the us gives $3.8 billion yearly to israel and funds 20% of israels overall military budget that they use to brutalize and bomb palestinian civilians

so to the asam, as one asam to another, if you are squabbling with pro-palestinians over “this hashtag is mine!!” when their own hashtags are being censored, instead of sympathizing with the palestinians, our west asian siblings overseas who are going thru what could arguably be called genocide ............ please get your head out of your ass

#tear.txt #free palestine #stop asian hate #nobodys gonna read this theyr gonna see a text wall and dip #but i just wnted to get this off my chest going thru the free palestine and stop asian hate tag and seeing all the free palestine posts #apologizing at the bottom for putting it in our tag. im sad they feel the need to apologize #when theyr going thru so much #also if ur non asian u can rb this just dont add stupid shit thx

[chungledown-bimothy]

Lost Ourselves in the Bright Lights

Hello hello hello! About a month ago, a LOVELY anon gave me a multitude of prompts. One of which was “Virgil and Logan are at a concert. Virgil cause he loves the band and Logan because he brought his brother (Patton or Roman) and at first Logan Hates the whole thing but then he sees Virgil and Virgil is singing along and he thinks virgils beautiful and that’s how they meet”. 

Here’s to you, Prompt Anon. <3

Warnings: some swearing, some sexual innuendos/suggestiveness, but nothing anywhere near explicit. 

Pairing(s): analogical, logince as brothers, patton is logan and roman’s dad. very brief virgil and remy as friends.

Word Count: 3701 (a Big boy)

Tag List: @ren-allen @ilovemygaydad @ccecode @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn @bloodropsblog @funsizedgremlin @raygelkitty @roxyfox23 @thomasthesandersengine 

"I understand that you want to go, Roman, but what does this have to do with me?"

"Because, Logan, dad says I can only go if you come with me 'to keep me out of trouble,’" Roman begged.

Logan sighed. "That's not fair to either of us. Aside from the fact that we graduate high school next month and are capable of keeping ourselves safe, now I must choose to either suffer through an evening of mediocre music played far too loudly to be safe or prevent you from seeing your favorite band."

"That's what I told dad, but he wouldn't budge! Please, Lo? I'll do your chores for the next two weeks if you come with me."

"Okay, I will. Don't expect me to have fun, though."

"I have a feeling you're gonna have a better time than you think, little brother."

"How many times do I have to tell you? Not only are we twins, but I am taller than you!" Patton stood in the doorway with a soft smile, listening to his sons bicker. He knew full well that Roman would have been just fine at the concert by himself, but something told him Logan should go with his brother, and all of the best things in Patton's life had started with that same feeling.

-------------------------

"Why is it already so loud?" Logan complained.

"It's called hype, calculator watch!"

"It is obnoxious. Enjoy the concert; I'll be at that table. Come find me when it's over."

"God, you're such a nerd. Did you even listen to the playlist I sent you, so you knew what to expect tonight?"

"Are you referring to the playlist entitled 'Mayday Parade Owns My Sad Gay Ass'? If so, no. All of this genre sounds alike, and the name itself is absurd, bordering on oxymoronic."

"You're absurd and bordering on oxymoronic!" Roman cried.

"I'm certain you don't know what that word means. Regardless, you're wasting your time here with me; it appears that what is colloquially known as the 'mosh pit' is filling up, and I know how much you wanted to be there."

"Good looking out, Lo! Mayday's going on soon anyway. I don't know how you think you're gonna be able to read once they start playing, but I hope you enjoy your book."

"Go have fun. It's what we're here for, after all." Logan smiled briefly before turning to the e-reader he brought, loaded with the newest Song of Ice and Fire novel. It wasn't long before the band started playing, and, loath as he was to admit it, Roman was right. Between the flashing lights and the ear-splitting volume, focusing on a book was simply impossible, so he decided to indulge in an exercise in observation, or 'people watching'.

Logan Sanders did not believe in fate or kismet or providence or any term one could use for that sentiment. He believed that the universe is cold and indifferent, and that even the most serendipitous events are simply chance. But, for a split second, after about fifteen minutes or so, he believed all of it when the spotlight paused its sweep over the crowd, illuminating the most beautiful man Logan had ever seen. He was a lost Bernini sculpture brought to life, soft lines belying a quiet grace and strength. Lost in the music, he was swaying and singing along, and he was radiant- purple hair and sharp features glowing in the light.

Logan Sanders certainly did not believe in love at first sight; he didn't even believe in love at all. In that moment, however, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he needed to meet this man, that he was special.

And that absolutely terrified him.

He tried to keep his eyes off of him, he really did, but it was impossible to look away for long. So when the band took a break and his mystery man went to the bar to get a drink, Logan knew it was his chance.

"I apologize if I'm being too forward, but I couldn't help but observe you in the crowd tonight, and you are stunning."

"I wondered if you were going to come talk to me. What were you trying to read, before it got too loud?"

"I- I'm sorry, what?"  The man was even more handsome up close; dark eyeshadow and lipstick contrasting what Roman would call 'killer contour and highlight'. The overall effect was truly striking, leaving Logan speechless for the first time.

"A guy dressed like a teacher at a Mayday concert trying to read and clearly wanting to disappear into the walls? I'm sure most people, like you wanted, didn't notice you, but I'm not most people." He smirked, looking Logan up and down.

"Clearly." Logan replied, returning his 'elevator eyes', if he remembered the colloquialism correctly, and finding his voice again. "My name's Logan."

"Virgil. You obviously don't want to be here, so why are you?"

"Correction- I didn't want to be here. My brother loves the band, and our father insisted I accompany him."

"Past tense? What changed?"

"You're an intelligent man, Virgil. You tell me."

"You've licked your lips twice while we've been talking, and your breathing is uneven and shallow. And I'm fairly certain that if I do this," Virgil stepped forward, getting as close to Logan as possible without touching. "Your pupils will dilate and your breath will catch. Just. Like. That." He finished, whispering.

Logan looked up at him and noted the same physiological responses. "That's not what I asked, now, is it?"

"No, it isn't. What do you want, Logan?"

"Once again questions you already know the answers to."

"Once again, you're not answering them. Maybe I just want to hear you say it."

"Maybe I don't want to give you the satisfaction."

"Now that's just not true. If satisfaction wasn't on your mind, you wouldn't still be standing so close to me." Virgil leaned in and tilted his head, daring Logan to make the next move.

"What do you want, Virgil?" Logan whispered, eyes locked on his lips.

"You. All of you," Virgil confessed.

"Then take me." He barely got the words out before Virgil closed the gap between them.

Logan was no blushing virgin; while he hadn't had a relationship per se, exploring one's sexuality is a traditional part of the high school experience. He'd never been kissed like that, though. Like the answers to the world's most profound questions lay between their lips, and then oh. Virgil's hands were on his hips, pulling him even closer.

Logan broke the kiss, panting slightly. "We… we shouldn't be doing this here."

"You're right. Come back to my place? It's not far from here."

"I want to say yes, but…"

"You can't." Virgil stepped back, and Logan's heart metaphorically dropped when he saw the sadness in his face.

"If I were here alone, I absolutely would, but I promised I'd keep an eye on my brother."

"I get that, and I respect the fuck out of you for it. Here, put your number into my phone, and then come dance with me."

"I'll gladly give you my number, but I can't dance."

"Well, you're in luck, then. There's only one rule when it comes to dancing."

"What, pray tell, is it?" He asked, not looking up from Virgil's phone.

"Pick a partner who knows what he's doing." With a wink, Virgil took his phone back and led Logan to the dance floor.

The rest of the night was a blur of pounding bass, stolen kisses, and hands everywhere.

All too soon, the show ended, as all things must. With great reluctance, Virgil and Logan parted ways with a promise to meet again soon. Logan wasn't above admitting that while he didn't want him to have to, he enjoyed watching Virgil walk away.

"Ooooh, who was that, Lo-Lo?" Logan jumped, not having heard his brother's approach.

"Oh, that was, uh… that was no one."

"Falsehood, as you say so often. You were all over each other! I'd never seen you like that before. You like him!"

"Preposterous. I don't know him. And, as you said, my behavior was entirely uncharacteristic. I don't know what came over me."

"You stopped thinking with your big brain, and apparently your little brain has game. Please tell me you got his number."

"I don't understand; I only have one brain, and it is the average size for an 18-year-old male. Regardless, I did not get his number, but I gave him mine."

"You're gonna have to look that one up yourself- I'm not explaining it to you. Going off of how he was looking at you, I guarantee he'll call, and soon."

"I… honestly don't know if I want that or not."

"Trust me, you do. Come on, let's go home."

"That is the most rational thing you've said all day. And please don't say anything to our father about this. He'll be insufferable."

----------------------------------

Virgil woke up the next morning with dreams of dark eyes and a sharp tongue dancing through his mind. Some of them, though, were memory, not fantasy, and that realization brought his thoughts to a grinding halt, leaving just one behind: oh fuck.

In an instant, the night replayed in his mind's eye. The music, the dancing, the cute guy looking miserable and trying to read, the flirting, the kissing, the proposition, being turned down, the dancing. The only things he didn't remember were what possessed him to be that bold and the guy's name. He grabbed his phone and saw that the guy put his name, Logan, in with his phone number. One mystery solved, and he knew he wouldn't be able to solve the second alone.

[V]- 911 im fucked

[Rem]- i assume not in the good way?

[V]- no, im texting you with a dick in my ass.

[Rem]- 1) we both know you aren't a bottom 2) watch the attitude, babe. you sent the 911. what's up?

[V]- well i met a guy at the concert last night

[Rem]- FINALLY. was he any good?

[V]- we didn't fuck

[Rem]- no offense doll, but why are you telling me about him then?

[V]- i have his number, but i wasn't really me last night. i was smooth and confident. what happens if we meet up and he hates actual me?

[Rem]- then he can fuck off? i don't get why you're buggin about this

[V]- because im me and need a common sense filter sometimes

[Rem]- you're welcome, girl. now hit him up and lmk how it goes, mmkay?

[V]- ofc

----

Logan's alarm went off the next morning at 7:30 as usual, but, for the first time in years, he was tempted to turn it off and sleep in. A single thought, however, floated to the front of his mind, and he was wide awake. Virgil. The handsome stranger who, with a smirk and a kiss, made Logan question everything he thought he knew about love attraction as well as himself. What happened to me last night? I'm never that bold, that impulsive. It was completely irrational, not to mention possibly dangerous if I'd taken him up on his offer like I wanted to. Dear Newton, I wanted to. Well, I'm not going to solve anything just laying here, and Crofter's helps solve any problem. Breakfast time.

A few minutes later, Logan was in the kitchen with his Crofters-smothered English muffin and a steaming mug of his favorite tea when Patton came in.

"Hey, kiddo! Did you have fun last night?"

"Erm, yeah. More than I initially anticipated, in fact."

"That's great! Did you make any new friends?"

"I don't know what Roman told you, but it was nothing, and nothing will come of it, so there's no point in dwelling on it."

Patton chuckled. "I haven't seen Roman since you guys left for the concert. He's still sleeping." Logan blanched, realizing he'd given himself away. "Now, kiddo, wanna tell your old pop about this 'nothing'? Seems like it's weighing pretty heavily on your mind; maybe we can talk it out."

"It really is nothing, dad."

"Hmm. Well, if you don't want to talk about it, how about I guess, and you let me know if I'm right?" Realizing he wasn't going to be able to avoid the topic, Logan nodded. "Awesome. Okay, so, you're all out of sorts and insisted 'there's no point in dwelling on it', so it's a problem you don't think you can solve. The last time I saw you like this, you were 14 and had the biggest  crush on that boy… what was his name?"

"Gabriel," Logan muttered, embarrassed.

"That's it! I knew he was no good for you. Anyway, I think this is about a boy you met last night. Now, you're my little boy, and I've been to enough concerts to know that I don't want to know the details, but to throw you for a loop this big after one evening, there must have been a real connection. Am I on the right track?" Logan nodded, impressed and embarrassed by how accurate his dad was. "Thank you for being honest with me, Lo. I know feelings are messy and can be scary. I was absolutely terrified when I met your mother."

"Dad, we don't need to- this isn't-"

"It's okay, Logan. Yes, she's gone, but she's still part of us. I know how much it changed all of us, especially you, but you can't shut out all possibility of love because ours didn't work out. I won't pretend it didn't hurt like heck when she left, but I wouldn't trade what happened for the world; that pain was nothing compared to the love I have for you and your brother or how happy you both make me every single day." Patton reached across the table and wiped a tear from Logan's cheek. "The boy you met last night. He's special, right?"

"Y- yeah, I think so. He brought out a side to me I didn't know existed."

"Then go for it. Take a chance."

"I… I think I would if I could."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't have any way of getting in contact with him. I gave him my phone number, but didn't think to get his."

"He really did a number on you, huh? Well, look at it this way: it's out of your hands. What happens next is up to him. I know it's hard, but really all you can do at this point is to try to put it out of that brilliant mind of yours. Hey, do you wanna watch that Sherlock show you love so much with, uh, what's his name? Scratch-and-sniff Cabbagepatch?"

"It's Benedict Cumberbatch, and you hate BBC Sherlock. I've been trying to get you to give it another chance for the last year."

"That's what I said. Bumblebee Anglerfish."

"Getting further away. Benedict Cumberbatch."

"Burgerking Capncrunch."

"Never mind. You're clearly trying to distract me from the Virgil problem. Thank you, dad. I love you too."

"Virgil, eh? Nice name."

"Oh sh-"

"Language!"

"Sorry, dad."

"It's alright, kiddo. Come on, let's see what all the fuss is about Bandersnatch Cuttlefish."

-----------------------------

As difficult as it was to decide that he was going to message Logan, actually typing and sending a message was infinitely worse. "Hey" was too vague. "Is this Logan? It's Virgil from last night" implied that he thought Logan gave him a fake number, which he didn't. "This is Virgil. What's up?" could be interpreted as a booty call, which it wasn't. After an hour of staring at his phone, he took a deep breath and sent a message.

[To:Logan?]- Hey, Logan, this is Virgil.

Now all he could do was wait. He hated waiting.

------------------------------

Patton and Roman, worried about Logan, did all they could to keep him distracted, but nothing could stop him from checking his phone at least once every 5 minutes. It was shortly after 3pm when it lit up with a new message.

[Unknown Number]- Hey, Logan, this is Virgil.

"Umm... Roman?" Logan called across the house.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come here? He just messaged me." He'd hardly finished his sentence when he heard a thud and Roman's footsteps, running to join him in the living room.

"I told you he would! What did he say? What are you going to say?"

"That's why I called for you. Here, take a look and tell me what I should do. I don't have any experience with this, and reading the message gives me an odd feeling in my abdomen."

"Those are butterflies, calculator watch! Wow, you really like him, huh?"

"I assume you mean metaphoric butterflies referring to the influx of dopamine, norepinephrine, and testosterone released when one is experiencing attraction, as it is impossible for any lepidopteran to survive, let alone reproduce, in the human digestive system. And yes, I believe I may have... feelings for him that are far stronger than the briefness of our acquaintance should allow."

"Oh my god, you are insufferable. Now, let's look at the message. Simple, to the point. He's as nervous about this as you are, Lo."

"How could you possibly know that from just 5 words?"

"Science is your thing, love is mine. I also literally just got a 5 on the AP Psychology exam. You want my advice, here's what I've got."

"I apologize. I asked you for advice; questioning that advice was bad form."

"Thank you. Now, as I was saying, he's nervous. I think your best bet is to match his tone. Don't try to pretend you aren't nervous, too. I won't tell you what to say, just that you should be completely honest. In any relationship, but here especially. You're afraid he won't like you; if you keep your messages legit, he'll get to know you, and I'm sure he'll love you."

"You can't know how he'll feel about me, but I appreciate the advice, and will certainly take it."

[To:Virgil]- Hello, Virgil. I wasn't sure you'd reach out, to be honest. The reply came almost instantly, which he wasn't expecting.

[Virgil]- I wasn't sure I would, either. Do you… wanna get coffee or something some time?

"Oh my god, I ship it so much! Y'all are so cute I can't even!!" Roman shrieked, scaring Logan so much he fell off the couch.

"E equals mc scared! Why did you feel the need to scream like that?"

"You guys are so precious. Clearly, you aren't the only one who was uncharacteristically bold in the face of new love. You're going to say yes, right?"

"It would be foolish of me to decline, given the emotions I've felt over the last..." he checked his watch, "approximately 21 hours."

"Take him to Jimin's cafe! Now that he's got a boyfriend, it's all domestic and cute. The perfect romantic location for a first date!"

"You mean the cafe where the barista put salt in your soda?"

"Okay, technically, yes, Jimin did that, but I was flirting with Taehyung. I deserved it, really."

"Despite my better judgment, I'll propose we go there, but only because I'm at a loss for an acceptable alternative."

[To:Virgil]- Coffee would be excellent. My brother's friend runs a cafe downtown- Bulletproof, I believe it's called. I've been reliably informed that it is a common first date location; are you available tomorrow, by chance?

"Oh my goodness, Logan, you are a disaster. It's obvious that you need me to teach-"

[Virgil]- haha yeah, I know Bulletproof. Really good coffee. Would 11 tomorrow morning work?

"Never mind. Clearly, he's into your nerd vibe, for some reason. Alright, I've gotta leave before dying of loneliness. Good luck in your romantic endeavors, brother dearest."

"Clearly you are not distraught enough to abandon your propensity for hyperbole. Thank you for the well wishes, and I truly hope that you will find someone to satisfy your romantic inclinations soon. You certainly deserve it."

"Ew, gross. Mushy Logan is weird. I'm leaving." With that, Roman stood up and left the room.

[To:Virgil]- 11 tomorrow would be perfect. I look forward to seeing you again.

[Virgil]- same. See you then :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was 10:55, and Logan was sipping an Americano, so lost in his thoughts and anxieties that he didn't hear the bells on the door jingle when someone walked in. He was startled back to reality by a barista's cheerful "annyeonghaseyo!", the cafe's standard greeting for customers, and looked up to see him. Virgil. His heart started racing as he took in the more casual look, leather pants and tight t-shirt swapped for ripped skinny jeans and a hoodie with purple plaid patches and no makeup, except for some dark eye shadow.

As Virgil got closer, Logan stood to meet him.

"Hello, Virgil. It's, it's nice to see you again." Logan's heart, already beating faster than was strictly speaking healthy, started pounding when Virgil smiled and blushed.

"You too, Logan. I, um, I'm gonna go order a drink. I'll be right back." Logan tried not to stare as Virgil walked away, but it was an exercise in futility.

A few minutes later, Virgil returned, drink in hand.

"May I ask what you're drinking?" Logan asked, internally cringing at the banal attempt at conversation.

"It's a caramel macchiato. Usually I'm an Americano kind of guy, but that barista recommended it and made it sound really good, and he was totally right."

"In that case, here's to finding pleasure where you don't expect to." Logan raised his mug in a half-toast. Virgil raised his in return and smirked; only then did Logan realize the double entendre and blush.

"So we're back talking about pleasure, eh?"

Logan cleared his throat. "Perhaps this is not the appropriate venue for that conversation. May I suggest space as an alternative subject?"

"VIVA LA PLUTO!" Virgil shouted, immediately looking down and blushing. "Sorry. Impulse. I'm clearly still bitter about some things."

"No, no. I completely agree. August 2006 was a dark, dark time. Viva la Pluto indeed."

They spent hours in that cafe debating, joking, and flirting. This time, Logan accepted Virgil's offer to go home with him.

#sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fic #analogical #logince #logicality #sanders sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #human au #remy sanders #my writing

[diningpageantry]

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43151156

Chapter 3/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 1553

Chapter Summary: Baz takes Simon's shitpost text a step further, and the outcome ends up spreading a few rumors.

SIMON

bi-sammy: sammy would still fuck huxley if he looked like the fish from shape of water

I grin smugly at my screen, sitting in a dark room with nothing shining but my mobile. The shutters stay shut, and the light from the bottom of the doorway barely filters into the room. It’s just me, this scratchy blanket, and Baz, somewhere else in England on another screen. I absolutely adore that.

gaystrell: why would you say something so controversial yet so brave.jpg

Sometimes, I catch myself smiling. Other times, I elect to ignore how real it feels. It’s weird, given that it feels like I’m just chatting with someone who I see everyday. The casualness of this reminds me of texting Penny in the afternoon on a Thursday.

Except, given the current time, it could be interpreted as more intimate than that of a friend’s text.

8am on a Saturday is usually a time reserved for comfort. For staying warm with someone you care about. Instead, I’m just messaging Baz.

bi-sammy: because im right

bi-sammy: hear me out here ive got a brilliant idea

gaystrell: whoever taught you the definition of a brilliant idea was clearly misleading you

bi-sammy: dont be an arse until youve heard it

bi-sammy: wanker

gaystrell: you’re truly proving your point

bi-sammy: ANYWAY

bi-sammy: shape of water au

bi-sammy: thats all

gaystrell: i’m appalled.

gaystrell: hold on.

I don’t think much of it. Occasionally, he disappears for an hour to two. I don’t bother asking, assuming it’s none of my business, but I do tend to worry a bit. I hope he’s alright.

After clicking off my phone, my head settles against my pillow as my eyes fall shut.

There’s something about this. There’s something about him. It’s a bit hard to pinpoint what it is, but the overwhelming feeling of comfort I have in the notifications I get from him just answering my bullshit is incredibly welcomed. He’s semisweet. I don’t know why I didn’t see it earlier, but he’s a fantastically bitter person.

My head slowly turns over, eyes opening and straining in the darkness.

I hate my empty room.

I hate the absence of comfort--I hate the plainness of these walls.

I want to say I hate my foster dad, but I also feel like I’m not allowed to say that. Not because the system will take me again and throw me back (even though I could have left a year back, if I was still in it). Instead, I feel like I shouldn’t hate him. Theoretically, I should be thankful for what I have. I’m not in a boy’s home, and I haven’t been since I was 11, but the remnants remain. The fights don’t go away, and neither do the weeks of starvation.

Still, I sort of despise living here under Davy.

That’s what he makes me call him. His name. His nickname. Not dad; of course not dad. He’s had me in his care for roughly six years, but he’s still Davy to me.

Shitty fucking Davy, with his strict curfews and practically using me as a housemaid because he’s too cheap to care for himself.

Shitty fucking Davy, not letting me add anything to my room because the day I turn 18, I’m out of here until his next kid (and cheque, apparently) come in. Told me I’d wreck the walls and ruin his furniture if I did put anything on it, too.

So that’s what I’ve got. Blank walls, blank furniture, blank everything. It’s like a jail cell for a bedroom, and everything I’ve got to show for myself is in a backpack and two dresser drawers/

But, at least, I own my mobile.

Every summer job, mixed with odds and ends shit and whatever I can do for my bill. It’s all mine, and Davy can’t fucking touch it.

Maybe that’s why, when I feel it buzz against my chest, it makes me feel more alive. It’s a reminder of all that work just to be able to talk to someone freely.

Arguably, the best feeling in the goddamn world.

I grab it and flip it over. It’s just an email about uni.

Fuck.

I end up scrolling through tumblr for a little while, doing nothing but liking and reblogging a thing here or there. It takes a little while before a little drop down falls from the top of my screen.

gaystrell: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1r7Wkwj7MSFk0--DgquHGhYVBbqneEYq0J01t0uMRmxA/edit?usp=sharing

gaystrell: feel the need to apologize before you click the link, but then again, you asked for this hell

When I click on it, it pulls up a doc titled just “crackfic”, and I’m floored with the first sentence alone.

“Fuck my fish ass harder, daddy.”

My hand flies up, covering my mouth as I practically wheeze as quietly as possible. A few paragraphs in and I’m nearly crying into my palm, muffling my laughter as I read through pages upon pages of the most ridiculous fic I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.

I check the word count out of pure curiosity, and it somehow makes me laugh harder.

bi-sammy: holy fucking shit

bi-sammy: i swear to god if you don’t post that i will

gaystrell: already in the process of making the archive post

gaystrell: i seriously believe you underestimate my sincere ability to be the biggest dick on the street

bi-sammy: i dont know whether or not u meant that as ur literal dick or the big dick energy in making that a post but id probably agree with you in both

bi-sammy: tag me in the post pls i want to be the first to reblog it

gaystrell: you’re a ridiculous, sad, little man

gaystrell: of course i’ll tag you

Within minutes, it’s uploaded with the absolute worst slew of Archive tags attached to it, and as soon as he tags me in his post, I tap the notification.

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Word Count: 3,192

Summary: Fish!Huxley and Sam get it on Shape of Water style

@bi-sammy this is your fault (you're welcome)

I immediately slam like and pull up reblog, rapidly typing out my response before posting.

absolute madman. cant believe youve done this. i trust you with my entire life.

As usual, he's quick to reblog back.

anything for the absolute pain in my life x

Smiling shamelessly, I ride on the moment's high as our conversation stays out in the world. I quite enjoy this version of his softness. The public, taunting replies to mine. In all this time of following him, I can't really recall him ever being this friendly with anyone but me.

Makes me feel special. Maybe too much so.

BAZ

The jarring shock of the seemingly endless notifications rattles me momentarily speechless.

It isn't even 15 minutes after I'd replied to Snow and there's already a few people reblogging it with comments about him and I. A quick “i ship y'all’ to “powermove of the century”. Each make me flush deeper as the replies flood in.

If I were to be practical, I'm aware that I shouldn't be so flustered over the concept of us being a couple. It's most likely my overactive, sad, lonely imagination, but the idea of being loved just makes me blush. Especially since it's someone who doesn't seem to absolutely loathe me.

gaystrell: are you reading these?

bi-sammy: the what?

bi-sammy: i have. nothing to read. i cant read.

gaystrell: use your two remaining brain cells look at the notes for the crackfic

bi-sammy: holy shit

bi-sammy: im cackling

A notification pops up, making me snort this time. I pull up the post and send it off to him without a second thought.

gaystrell: sent a post

gaystrell: “sounds like something huxley would do for sam”

bi-sammy: stop im gonna piss myself shits too fucking funny

I pull it back up, scrolling down to reblog and adding a quick reply that, in all honesty, I should have thought out more. Secretly, part of me is glad that I sent it.

huxley wishes he was this smooth ;)

Within seconds, replies flood in from everywhere. From jokes about Snow and I possibly dating to the concept of Huxley writing (purposefully) shitty homoerotica about himself as a fishman. I quite like the conversation about the latter, while the former makes my chest knot in ways inexplicable.

Going through the notes makes me smile, even if it's mildly embarrassing. The amount of times I've seen the eyes emoji used is definitely excessive, but still somewhat welcomed.

Even my archive has a few comments already, although more based around the fic itself. More ironically, though, is the one person who probably took it seriously and just commented, “Nice fic!” I love the abundance of shameless appreciation for obscure fanfiction in the depths of this community.

Snow's messages roll down my mobile screen as I'm checking the comments, continuously replacing the previous message for the top slot.

bi-sammy: mate

bi-sammy: i love you

bi-sammy: also every time you reblog something of mine i get like 5 followers

bi-sammy: if you mention me i get 10

bi-sammy: youre???????????? a god????????

bi-sammy: can i marry you????????????

I slowly close my laptop, eyes on my phone with an absolutely gleeful grin.

gaystrell: when and where?

#carry on #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #mine #it's a handheld disaster #snowbaz #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm-pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #baz pitch #simon #baz

[goyeopmv]

did you start saving fics after all? if so rather than just yoonseok this time, can you rec more fanfics please? (bottom hobi of course)

ha..ha well about that… -moonwalks away- … saving fanfics? don’t know her.huhue, just kidding. k-kind of! 

Special ficrec:

blue flame special, junghope : i love this fic with my whole heart?? i started to read for junghope, but the side ships made me love it even more. it’s kind of sad, really funny, and makes me think a lot about shit i’ve never been in… so. please give this a read! it’s ongoing, and the endgame is iffy tbh– but the author makes the inevitable worth it more and more every update.

skool luv affair, vhope : if me and tae have anything in common, it’s our soft spot for kids! i love kid!fic so much, but it’s hard finding good ones. >

그 손을 내밀어줘, namjin, but the yoonseok in it makes my heart swell : literally my favorite kid!fic. and honestly?? maybe my favorite fic in general. i’ll put it in every single one of my recs. 

아침은 다시 올 거야, vhope : obviously my all time favorite fics have korean titles? let me just say I LOVE THIS STORY and if the above didnt already seed it’s way into my heart, this would have done it 10x over. it hurt a little bit at times but. fuck… like blue flame special, it just became more and more worth it. amazing series. :)

pas de trois, yoonminseok : UHM. it’s ongoing and i rec this with caution. i loved the series, but since it wasn’t hoseok!centric i won’t link it here– but! it’s there. please read this one if you like abo at all. from what i can tell, it’s a great fic. now, whether it’s bottom hobi? i dunno but i’m enjoying it nonetheless. :D which is very surprising to me since i’ve never read anything with yoonmin as the/a main pair before.~

FICREC: bottom!seok

we are young again, namseok | pwp, cute af, adorably awkward, namjoon’s first time

bangtan party night, yoonseok | pwfeelings, cute, they’re cute & gay, FUNNY AF, iloveit

study time, junghope | pwp, “You going to be good and let me finish?”, KILL ME wTF

to know reverance, jihope | 51k of fucking greatness dont touch me holyshit

i want some satisfaction, take me to the stars, vhope | pwp, huehue, cute & gay, thats all

work-life balance, vhope | pwp, wheezes, d/s, this ficrec is really just me exposing myself

boring, 2seok | pwp, hobi’s a wolf hybrid, am i a furry, ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVES

white knuckles, yoonseok | pwp, abo, yes i am a furry, THIS IS GREAT, JUST??, HOOT

your pain is mine as well, yoonseok | BRACES, i rec’d this one before but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

penis pops (sticky and creamy with a delicious flavor), yoonseok | JDBJADBSAJKDJA

all eyes on me, namyoonseok | pwp, abo, hobilu is really the reason for my life tbvh

good job (with a G and J), namseok | pwp, HOOT HOOT, priase kink hobi? i think YES

baby-sitting was never like this, namyoonseok | read the tags bc i have Nothing to say

instrumental, jihope | pwp, “hobi’s knee pits”, thanks author-san, jimin tries his best!!

ride of a lifetime, vhope | gay pissed & confused pwp, i love that d/s vhope really just.. does it for me as you can clearly see

like you for always, yoonseok | pwp, first times, cute as shit tbh, “dude” is their “okay”

balsam, vhope | pwp, i-…, vhope really coming for me these days, jin voice: LITERALLY

high violet, vhope | 28k of pure fucking bliss, this fic made me cry at like 3am, ilovedit

( look in their bookmarks for more bottom!seok vhope ^ they’re doing the world a favor)

red handprints, yoonseok | pwp, -gulps-, hobi gets spanked and im 100% here for it

lights out, junghope | pwp, abo, a guilty pleasure of mine but minus the guilty, YES BOI

i’m going to make supreme hope relevant, supremehope | *nods slowly* tis The series

FICREC; just an excuse to get yall into junghope tbh

new romantics, junghope | i love nivo’s fics! this is what got me into junghope actually. :’)

soft spot, yoonseok | my softest yoonseok ever, hhhh… yoongi taking care of seok :’)

crisis management, vhope | let just rec all their fics right now tbh, this is so cute

IKEA: you won’t even want to go home, jihope | no smut but omega hobi, and SOSOCUTE

misfortunes, junghope | breakups are hard usually, but i found this is just funny XD

you steal the air out of my lungs (you make me feel it), junghope | tag urself im the window

lionheart, junghope | YEET. I READ THIS ALL THE TIME. IT’S KIND OF SAD HOW MUCH I LOVE IT ACTUALLY?? ME AND HOBI ARE THE SAME PERSON. LET ME EXCUSE MYSELF IM EMBARRASSING.

ヽ（゜ロ゜；）ノ and okay! yay! with that, i conclude this fic rec. o3o holy shiz that was so long i apologize?? im sorry if you read most of these– but these are just the ones i took the time to remember “hey, dimwit, save this for later so you’re not crying when you can’t find it again.” SO HERE WE ARE. XD hope you enjoy, anonie.

#im trash as you can clearly see #bts fic rec #bottom hoseok #yoonseok #junghope #vhope #namseok #2seok #jihope #bottom!hobi #YOLO YOLO YOLO YO #anonie #hope you enjoy <3