#as long as you can identify which wip it is all will be well forever

[bonetrousledbones]

an interesting way to do things is to never ever come up with names for fics until the very second you are actively posting them. the name of the wip i'm working on currently is "something's wrong with this guy" and the one before it was named "HEHEHEHE"

#trousled rambles #and rest assured neither of those titles actually fit the tones very well #well i guess Something's Wrong With This Guy technically fits but its a dogshit title lmao #the hehehehe one became Damn Him so yeah it changed a little bit #im trying to get better at putting more actual posts here instead of just dumping em all on my secret blog for no reason lol #maybe at some point i'll post one of the snippets from my current wip here as well .... who knows #anyway here is my writing advice: deal with the title first thing by forgetting about it until you're done writing out all the tags #as long as you can identify which wip it is all will be well forever #especially if you keep all your wips in the same google doc <3

[syrena-of-the-lake]

YES I was hoping you would post a list. These are all amazing titles, are you kidding me?? I absolutely need to know about Regency and Regeneration though - that is an incredible name!

Thank you, my friend! I am SO HAPPY you asked about that particular story - we are definitely on the same wavelength. Inspired by your own Forever/Star Trek crossover (FIC REC: everyone go read Old Men Ought to Be Explorers) and a sequel of sorts to mine (To Seek Out New Life), "Regency and Regeneration" finds Henry Morgan once more on the Voyage of the Damned: the Federation Starship Voyager.

I have so many ideas listed in this WIP doc. Henry worrying about an 80-year journey where he would obviously not age alongside the rest of the crew. Identifying with the 37s and tempted to stay behind with people from an older era. Identifying with Quinn the Q: "For us, the disease is immortality." Reliving WWII and other horrors with the Hirogen, and praying the rest of the crew doesn't have to remember (almost) dying and being resuscitated repeatedly like him. Fearing the Vidiians, who would harvest his organs and turn him into a modern Tantalus. Fearing the Hirogen and their endless hunts. Fearing the Borg and their assimilation of immortality. SO MANY THINGS.

One of the scenes I really want to write is the time-travel episode to the 1990s. Henry would disobey orders and beam down to sneak a glimpse of Abe... perhaps he gets mugged by a young and scared Jo Martinez, interrogated by Joanna Reece, and bailed out by young Abe (who is less surprised by all this than he should be).

I go back and forth on whether to replace the Doctor with Henry, which would allow him to pass under the radar for much longer. But I love the Doctor too much to sacrifice him, and I'd like to see the interplay between them... I don't know, which is one of the many reasons this has been sitting on my WIP shelf for so long. But I keep picking at it – a couple scenes under the cut:

Not for the first time, Henry Morgan found himself on the Voyage of the Damned.

Not that he would ever utter such an appellation aloud, of course. Even if the whole crew was thinking the same thing, no Starfleet officer would be so crass as to say so – especially in front of the captain.

The Maquis, on the other hand… well, suffice it to say that tact was not part of their tactical database.

"I'll give you a medical emergency," snarled Torres.

Henry bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. Memories surged briefly: Jo, in the early days of their partnership, cradling her burnt hand and shouting at him even as he anxiously checked for aconite residue on her skin.

"I asked you here to repair things, not break them," the Emergency Medical Hologram snapped back. He sniffed. "Besides, I am a hologram. You cannot injure me."

"I can decompile your program," she said sweetly, waving a hydrospanner under the EMH's nose.

That, Henry decided, was his cue to intervene. "I wouldn't recommend that," he said, deftly deflecting Torres's reflexive half-swing of the hydrospanner in his direction as she whirled around to face him. "The EMH is the only qualified physician aboard."

"Aren't you a medic or something?"

"Molecular biologist," answered Henry cheerfully. Torres's scowl deepened. "I can resequence your DNA lickety-split and I'm a deft hand with a dermal regenerator, if I do say so myself, but let's just say you wouldn't want me mucking about in your brain."

She stared at him, furrowing her forehead ridges and clearly unsure whether to take him seriously. Henry stifled a grin. He couldn't help it; cantankerous people always brought out the mischief in him.

Even he knew not to rile a half-Klingon in a bad mood, however.

"Maybe you can just take a look at the power relays?" Henry lowered his voice. "I don't think they were meant for sustained operation. The EMH has been running almost continuously for weeks now, as he keeps reminding me. Every five minutes. Vociferously. Maybe they need… recalibrating? Or at least a brief respite?"

Torres snorted, a smile reluctantly tugging at her lips. "I'll see what I can do. You, hologram," she called.

The EMH stiffened. "My proper title is Doctor. Perhaps if you weren't so focused on physical violence, you could devote some neural pathways to remembering that."

Henry rolled his eyes. So much for peacemaking.

Torres, however, ignored him. "Computer, deactivate EMH." The doctor had just enough time to open his mouth for an indignant protest before his matrix dissolved. "Huh, I think you're right, Morgan. There's a definite hitch in the holoprojectors. I don't think it's the power supply, though… maybe one of the synapses in the bioneural circuitry…. There hasn't been time to check all the gel packs for micro-lesions. I don’t suppose a molecular biologist would know what to look for?"

"No," he admitted, "but I'm a quick study."

Lips pursed, Torres appraised him a moment before jerking her head in a nod. "Grab your tricorder, then. I'll take you on a tour of the Jeffries tubes, Lieutenant."

"Henry," he said.

"B'Elanna." Her reply was slow in coming, but the fact that it came at well gave Henry unexpected hope for Voyager's newly merged crew. "Watch your head," she warned.

He followed her into the Jeffries tube without comment, until he hit his head on a low-hanging hatch. He bit back a rude word and chuckled ruefully.

"Not such a quick study after all?" Torres called back at him, but from her tone Henry rather thought she was teasing rather than taunting.

"Apparently not," he agreed with a smile. "Fortunately, I've been told I have a thick skull."

Torres barked a laugh. "Let me guess. Delaney twin? Which one?"

"You know," Henry said thoughtfully, "I'm not even sure."

"Well, there's your problem," she answered dryly.

"Thank you for the diagnosis," laughed Henry. "So what are the doctor's orders?"

"You know what they say: Physician, heal thyself."

They shared a quick grin. When she wasn't hurling invectives or hydrospanners, mused Henry, B'Elanna Torres was quite pleasant company.

"So how long have you been in Starfleet?" she asked.

Only seventy-odd years, all told. "I graduated from the academy in '63," Henry answered. "Seems like a lifetime, though."

Torres snorted. "I know what you mean. I couldn't get out fast enough. Guess the uniform wasn't a good fit for me."

"It can get a bit tight in the collar," Henry acknowledged. "Still, over the years I've found one can make more of a difference working within the system than without."

She eyed him curiously. "You don't seem like much of a rule-breaker to me."

Henry chuckled. "You should have known me in my younger days. I used to be quite the rebel."

"And what, you've settled down in your old age?" She chuckled. "Come on, you can't be that much older than I am."

"I'd wager I'm a few years older," Henry said with a wink, "but I'd never ask a lady her age."

Torres laughed aloud. "That's the first time anyone's ever called me a lady. Do me a favor and don't say it in public. Seska would never let me live it down."

On top of everything, I began shipping Henry/Seven of Nine. She would figure out his secret eventually, just in time for Henry to die on an away mission to a planet with no water. He disappears, but Seven refuses to believe he is dead, and eventually finds him in the subterranean ocean of an inhospitable planet nearby. "Your analysis of the situation is flawed," she would inform him afterwards. "You are not immortal; I witnessed your death." Does that give him the key to unraveling his condition? Probably not. But Seven would keep his secret and return him to Voyager with the plausible explanation that, while he may have been killed, he had been regenerated by an unknown phenomenon. After all, it had happened to Harry Kim before.

"I have a gray hair," Henry announced, struck dumb by the first change in his body in centuries.

Seven merely raised an eyebrow. "Are congratulations or sympathies in order?"

"I... I don't know."

"If you are having an overdue midlife crisis, I suggest you consult the Doctor. I cannot commiserate properly; my follicles are synthetically generated and do not gray."

Henry stared at her. The corner of Seven's mouth twitched slightly. "Did you just -- was that a joke? Seven, are you making fun of me?"

"The Borg do not 'make fun,'" she asserted archly. Then a crease appeared between her pale eyebrows. "Was that not the correct way to proceed? Mr. Paris says that uncomfortable situations may be effectively defused with humor. He calls it 'breaking through the funk.'" She frowned. "However, my research shows that 'funk' was an artistic movement in the 20th century, and not a class of mood disorder, so I am uncertain if he is telling the truth or merely 'making fun.'"

"The same term is used for both the dance craze and, um, mood disorder. Personally, I've found them to be closer to cause/effect than synonymous, but I digress. And it was absolutely the correct thing to do," Henry assured her. Odd, how he couldn't stop grinning. And he wasn't even certain it had anything to do with aging. "Seven, would you permit an old man to ask you out for dinner?"

There was no doubt about it this time: Seven's lips curved in a small but definite smile. "That would be acceptable."

#Because I needed more plot bunnies chewing on my WIP folder #syrena's stories #what the fic #I'm looking over a new crossover that I overlooked before #syrena writes 3 sentences (and then some) #forever TV

[just2bubbly]

Y, U, M C

This ask took forever to be answered so sorry Pani and thank you for sending in an ask- it was an absolute pleasure answering this one! <3

C: What character do you identify with most?

In the TLC universe, I relate the most to Kai because well I really have zero (0) skills to survive a interplanetary war and well that guy is so desperate to help and for help, I can really relate to Kai on a whole another level- and my mind is full of conspiracies, mindless thoughts and fantasizing so The Emperor boi is the character I most identify with out of the entire Rampion Crew.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Lmao, I do have a lot of them and I'm coming up with new WIPS on almost daily basis- idk when or how long it will take for me to return to it. I'm sorta in a writer's block rn so trying to make myself write is a hard task and I have a certain plans to write for gen 2 Harry Potter series, like post Cursed Child ig, those plans are also very much in hanging form. Still I'm hoping to return back to writing as soon as possible! :)

U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven’t tried yet.

Well, there are a load ass of pairings I want to write about, I have tried writing snippets of Cress and Thorne in my fics but I can't really get them right and I do have something for Jacin and Winter up my sleeve too but it's mostly sidelined pairing with Kaider taking up much space. I have not really read much Cresswell, Jacinter and Wolflet out of the books so getting them right is a bit difficult for me. Other than that, I wish to write for the ship Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley aka 'Hinny' or Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy. I'm more into platonic tropes rn, which includes: friendship, brotherhood and the entire found family trope, like I don't want my fics to be a particular couple-centric so I'm trying for the diversity.

Y: A character you want to protect.

Can I say Torin here?! like he deserves proper representation and more of it too, idk I feel an urge to protect to all of my characters now but Cinder and Kai more than others, like they have gone through sm both together and individually and yeah all the other characters have also had a lot of suffering in life but I'm more attached to these two than others so yk, I had call them up and someone from other books would definitely be Inej- like this woman is a QUEEN and she deserves the world and the high seas and everything both in and beyond it and also Jesper, these two are THE best brotp ever and I wish fate gives them a rest!

<33

#Pani love #ask game #fanfic/writers ask #thanks for the ask Pani #love ya! #<333

[writingithink]

Improbable Multiversal Transcending Temporal Spacetime Event Pairing: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler Rated: T Word Count: 7,101 Summary: The best way to show someone you care is to blow up their job ... right? Notes: I'm back! And it's not a Tangled Timelines update (sorry!) But it is something? I've had this in my WIPs for awHILE now, and when I was cleaning my studio the other night I found a planning page for it in a random tote bag and was like ... oh yeah. And the ending just came to me and I love it when that happens. Hopefully there will be another chapter up for Tangled Timelines soon, though!

As always, infinite thanks to my wonderful beta, @hey-there-juliet​ who is fine with me randomly sending her fics at all hours and with no warning XP

All mistakes are mine, as always.

<<READ IT ON AO3>>

If the other him in the other universe had taken the time to imagine their human life together in a parallel universe, the Doctor doubted he would have pictured this. His imagination, when it came to Rose Tyler, was always quite whimsical. Happiness had made him impractical, really. Because despite all of the drawbacks, all of the reasons he currently loathed himself, the Doctor knew every single reason why the other truly felt like this was the best possible option.

But maybe it wasn’t.

Sometimes, despite it not occurring too often, he was wrong.

They had spent five and a half hours on the beach at Bad Wolf Bay.

(I create myself.)

She had been so upset; said that after everything they’d went through, everything she did to get back, the other him owed her a proper goodbye. She had stopped speaking to him when he told her that, actually, he would never give her a proper goodbye.

And she didn’t let him explain why. Now that he finally could.

Now it had been 57 days since she’d last spoken to him. Since he’d gotten more than a brief glimpse of her with his own eyes. That he’d spent piecing together a picture of what her life had been like here, without him. Such a short time, really, now that it was over (almost over), but yet also some of the worst moments of his entire existence.

It seemed fair that the multiverse would demand just that extra sequence of pain, considering everything he could potentially get in return. What another version of himself could only hope for, bitterly gambling eternities, following their timeline through all of it’s complicated swirls and turns, names weaving around each other, stamping themselves on the structure of creation.

Forever isn’t something that ends.

(How long are you going to stay with me?)

Quite the opposite, actually. And he knew, eventually, she would remember that. Knew it, but didn’t feel it.

The Doctor finally understood what all of the human writers meant about falling in love. Not just the terrifying sensation of the unstoppable freefall, but also the immense pain of crashing into the immovable object at the end of the journey.

They had sat on opposite ends of a Zeppelin. He had gone back to the Tyler Manor with Jackie, and Rose had gone back to her flat. Hoping to see her, talk to her, he had immediately joined Torchwood (once they agreed to his very detailed, highly specific, entirely ironclad contract). Their paths rarely crossed, and when they did it was just tiny, insubstantial moments.

A flash of her at the far end of a hall. Her name in a report (a lot of reports). Snatches of her voice, there one moment and gone the next.

It all made everything hurt so much more, somehow, having her so close but yet further than he could have possibly imagined.

But yet …

His imagination, when it came to Rose Tyler, was still quite whimsical. So when he tried to think of the bigger picture, waxing poetic, alone on his office couch, the Doctor tried to look at the last few years as the impact, and this as the aftershock. Still, philosophical jaunts weren’t exactly a solution to his problem. A temporary solution was moving his office even further away, so that’s what he did. 

Plus, he found it kind of fitting, commandeering the inside of Big Ben. UNIT may have it in the prime universe, but in this universe he had the fancy landmark office. Well, office-slash-home (without Rose Tyler, a proper house with doors and things was absolutely unthinkable). Not that it was just about having a private laugh. The gears soothed him, the sound of ticking helped the gnawing emptiness that had filled his mind ever since the TARDIS dematerialized without him in it. The Doctor had thought it was kind of fitting - the closest he could possibly be right now to time.

Not that he wasn’t spending every possible spare moment working on the baby TARDIS, just a tiny piece of coral still, currently sitting in the extended electro-percussive environment chamber. He wondered if, in three years (his best-possible projected timetable), when the new TARDIS would be ready for flight, she would still not be speaking to him.

Incidentally, the emergence of that thought and the start of his supposed ‘self-isolation’ coincided to an alarming degree for how coincidental the two really were. The fact of the matter was, he was busy. Tons of experiments to run, alien equipment to identify, classify (and more often than not remove from Torchwood entirely), a baby TARDIS to tend to, and a backlog of Rose’s mission reports to hack into made spending slightly over three weeks in his tower easy.

The problem was the fact that during that time the Doctor avoided sleeping, barely remembered to eat, and existed on overly sugared tea alone. Not sleeping didn’t put the demons at bay, but at least when he was awake he wasn’t forced to confront the man he never wanted to remember being.

It had been 57 days since Rose Tyler had last spoken to him, and the Doctor detonated a bomb in the abandoned annex Torchwood had scheduled to be demolished and rebuilt.

Then the counter reset to zero.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” she yelled, barging into the top floor lab where he had been checking the readings on the EEPEC.

Everything that he wanted to say to her, and the Doctor was struck mute.

“Whatever plans you think you have, however good of an idea it is, for the good of the planet or, or the galaxy or what, you don’t just go blowing up buildings without a word to anyone! Do you know that everyone else was too scared to come up here and have a word with you, because that highly confidential ridiculous contract you drew up made its way through the gossips and isn’t so classified anymore. Now no one wants to go toe to toe with the man who ‘speaks for the planet’,” Rose growled through the air quotes. “So tell me, Doctor, what genius reason you’ve got for blowing up the Records Annex?”

A slow smile spread across his face.

“It worked.”

“What?”

“Remember ‘run’?” he asked, bouncing away from the baby TARDIS and circling her, picking up his new sonic screwdriver as he did and deadlock sealing the only door off the floor.

“Run?” she frowned as he circled back.

“Run,” he whispered in her ear as he passed, running up a small set of stairs to flip a giant switch that activated the clock-lights outside of their automated timer. Likely no one noticed outside with the sun still out, but it lit up the lab. “Henrik’s basement, Nestene Consciousness, shop window dummies, you and me. How did that night end?” he asked, with a manic grin as he skidded to a stop in front of her.

“Oh, that ‘run’,” Rose breathed, trying to fight back a smile. “You blew up my job.”

“I blew up your job.”

She huffed, blowing her bangs out of her eyes, and crossed her arms. His shoulders fell, exhaustion pressing down onto each and every bone of his new, much more fragile body.

“I just want to talk,” he told her, only a moment away from begging.

“Alright then. Talk.”

Everything he wanted to say to her, and all of it felt disjointed in his overtired mind. Yet she was here now, and if she left he didn’t have a new idea for getting her back again. So he talked.

“I’m sorry. That I made this choice for you, even if it was technically a different me who did it. I’m sorry that this is the best option, the safest option. I’m sorry I never got the chance to explain everything to you before. But I am never going to say goodbye to you, Rose. Never. And I know that the power of words doesn’t translate as well for you, the science of psycho-kinetic-telepathic influence on the elements of creation. But there are some things I can never risk saying aloud. There are some beings that exist, at least in our original universe, that could easily- … still, no matter what universe we’re in, I’m never going to say it. Forever, Rose Tyler. It’s longer than you can comprehend. An eternal silence stretching infinitely ahead, timelines swirling in every direction. This one is ours, if you’ll- if you could just- if you could see in twenty-odd dimensions and focused on individual temporal waveforms, the quantum reality of specific-”

“Doctor!” she shouted when his legs gave out, immediately grabbing hold of him, joining him on the floor.

“I’m fine,” he insisted, but when he moved to get back up she easily held him down. Rose gently manipulated his face, giving him a basic medical check. He couldn’t help but smile a little at how much she had learned while they were away, only to then frown at how hard he imagined it all must have been for her. Floundering, he tried to make a joke. “So, I’m still the Doctor?”

Which went ignored.

“You look like a wreck,” she told him, and it wasn’t new information. The Doctor now made much more frequent trips to the restroom and was well aware of how pale he was, of the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. He had at least been making a disjointed effort to shave, which was another activity that had increased with his meta crisis, and admittedly it had slipped his mind for a couple days.

“It’s not easy, doing this without you,” he admitted. “But if you need more time, I want you to take it. I really am alright. There’s just so much I need to tell you, now that I can.”

“What do you mean, ‘now that you can’?”

“Different universe, firm walls in between. I don’t have to worry about using the wrong words at the wrong time and having cosmic consequences … for a lot of things, not all things. With our timeline in a different dimension and reality back as it should be, at least for the moment, I can tell you all sorts of things. Though the most important one, the one I’m never going to miss an opportunity to say, is that I love you, Rose Tyler. Forever.”

“I love you, too,” she sighed, caressing his cheek for a moment before helping him up. “But I’m still mad at you. Now you need sleep.”

“But I’m not done talking,” the Doctor complained, dragging his feet as she led him over to the sofa in the corner.

“We’ll talk more after you’ve gotten some rest, okay? I promise.”

“Thank you,” he sighed, more horizontal than he remembered being just a moment ago. Something soft and warm ensconced his body. He hadn’t realized how cold he had been until just then.

Another breath and black oblivion overtook him. Peaceful until it suddenly very much wasn’t. 

A shockwave. A rift in time and space. A breached void. A crack in reality. A big red button. No more. Howling, howling, howling.

“Wake up!”

His eyes snapped open.

He didn’t know where he was. Nothing felt right; not the air, not time, not even his own body. The Doctor tried to do a quick systems check, and the results were all wrong. His hand flew to his chest, where only one heart was beating.

A choking scream echoed through the space, which seemed to be tick tick ticking, and he didn’t realize that it was him who shouted until soothing hands were brushing through his hair. Vision focusing, he saw Rose Tyler kneeling next to him, or at least it was something that looked like Rose Tyler. She felt too cool. Or maybe he was too warm.

“Are you real?” he asked, hoping that she wouldn’t lie to him.

Just one heart working, and it was beating too fast, refusing to slow down. The air was too thick, he couldn’t breathe.

“Yeah.” A sad smile. “I’m real.”

The Doctor didn’t know if he believed her, closing his eyes so that he wouldn’t have to see the moment she inevitably vanished. “I’m dying,” he told the being-who-might-be-Rose as he shuddered and collapsed back onto some sort of sofa.

“You’re fine,” she lied, but it was a lie she seemed to believe.

“Only got one heart beating,” he admitted, trying to get his breathing under control as his malfunctioning body began to sweat. The room ticked away, and he wondered if all of this was about to explode, if he should be running, if he even could run. His legs felt like lead. So did his arms. The air was too thick, dragging him down.

“That’s-”

The Doctor shut his eyes tighter, tears escaping that he hadn’t even realized were there. She must have vanished, just like he knew she would. And if she was never real to begin with, why did it have to hurt so much for her to go?

A weight rested on top of him, and he would never forget the feel of her. He vaguely wondered what it meant for him, to be having tactile hallucinations. Olfactory hallucinations. Even the buzz of time that had never left her skin after she took in the vortex was present.

“You’ve still got two beating,” Rose whispered as his arms wrapped around her in a tight hold that didn’t feel nearly strong enough to keep her. He wasn’t strong enough to keep her.

Her heart beat steadily over where his right heart had failed.

“I’m scared,” the Doctor admitted, eyes still closed though it was oddly easier to breathe.

“I’ve got you.”

“Please be real,” he whimpered, even as his mind grew foggier.

She said something, but he didn’t know what. Everything was fading away, darkness becoming darker, becoming void.

Nothing.

The Doctor awoke alone on the couch in his office. According to his time sense, he had slept for eighteen hours and twenty-one minutes. He felt better than he had in weeks, but also so much worse. He grabbed his pillow and screamed into it.

“What’s wrong now?”

The pillow dropped from his hands and his eyes locked with Rose’s as she raced up the slight stair onto the platform that separated his primary workspace from the rest of the top floor.

“What?” His voice cracked.

Rose Tyler sat next to him on the couch, hand immediately resting on his forehead, primitively gauging his temperature. The Doctor cleared his throat before trying again.

“Rose, what are you doing here? Not that I’m not glad, I’m so very, very glad you’ve come.” Her hand dropped away and he was able to get a good look at her, dressed in a pair of his boxers and one of his shirts (Jackie had bought him a ridiculous amount of clothes before he left the manor, all of which he sent out to be cleaned). He swallowed audibly. “W-why are you wearing my clothes?”

“‘M locked in here. Door’s deadlock sealed.”

Flashes of memories began to speed through him. Attaching a re-calibrated Tziklian implosion grenade to a newly-repaired retroreflective Clishtahrr drone. Obsessively trying to circumvent his vision in order to peer at his own timeline, making himself sick. A contained rift event in the lower levels of the tower that made him feel like he had looked into the untempered schism again.

(Run, run, run!)

“I’m sorry. I don’t … I’ll just …”

He pushed himself up onto unsteady legs, found his sonic screwdriver and unsealed the door. And he wished he hadn’t trapped her with him, even if he was starting to remember why (inky black terror crawling up his spine, wrong universe, wrong universe, wrong universe).

“Do you remember what happened yesterday?” she asked, following him as he went to check the TARDIS on autopilot, looking as if she was worried he would collapse (again).

“It’s coming back to me,” the Doctor admitted. Still had a good four hours to go before the shatterfry process would be complete. He straightened his shoulders, trying to stand tall as he turned to face her. “Things got a little, uhm, unpleasant. I’ll do better.”

“Unpleasant,” Rose scoffed. “I’m pretty sure you had a bleedin’ breakdown!”

“It’s been a difficult regeneration,” he deflected, turning away, leaving the platform and making a beeline to the tiny kitchenette tucked off to the side. Tea. He just needed more tea.

“So, this how it’s gonna be, then? All that stuff about wanting to talk, but now you’re just done?”

He nearly spilled the kettle with the speed of his turn, brows furrowed and mouth falling open. “What? Of course I want to talk!” the Doctor exclaimed. “Just, er, what did I say? Before?”

Memory was still a bit of a blur. Successful energy funnel for the TARDIS’ growth tank. Vodka tasting different in a universe without potatoes. Reports saying: Correct universe. Wrong time - past. No contact.

“You don’t remember?”

“I said it was coming back to me, it’s just not coming in the right order.” he sighed, refocusing on the tea.

“Well, what’s the last thing that you vividly remember?” Rose asked, moving around him, easily finding mugs and sugar and milk.

“Thirteen days ago, creating a temporal disruption chrono-field manipulator. Needed to siphon rift energy for our TARDIS. She needs a very specific growth environment.”

“Thirteen days?! Wait, siphoning the-” She leaned against the tiny countertop and covered her face with her hands. The only sound for a few moments was of the electric kettle quickly boiling the water. “Our TARDIS?”

“If you want,” the Doctor muttered, lifting a hand, wanting to touch her, but then thinking better of it. He clenched his fist as it dropped to his side.

Rose groaned as she turned back to him. “Of course I want that, you daft alien git! But you don’t exactly make things easy, do ya? I spent years getting back to you, and then suddenly there’s two of you and one of you abandons me just like I was always afraid of, but one of you stays and I’m expected to be able to process any of it? And then for weeks it’s an effort just to give myself space, knowing that wherever I go you’re so close, part of me wondering why I’m even trying to stay away when all I wanted for ages was to be back with you. Then suddenly you’re gone! I still know where you are, but there isn’t a chance that I’d actually run into you. And I still don’t know what to feel, but coming here yesterday, seeing you … I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so broken.” There were tears in her eyes. His nails dug into his palms with the effort it took not to wrap his arms around her, to wipe them away. “I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault.”

“It’s not. It’s my own fault. You haven’t done a single thing wrong,” he assured her.

“That’s not true and you know it,” she tried to laugh, but it came out watery. “I’ve been an absolute cow. And I still haven’t answered your question. You’d said some things about words being a type of science, and that you could say things here that you couldn’t in the other universe. Like you were paranoid, under surveillance or something? I think you tried to describe how your time sense stuff works, but you almost fainted.”

“Fifty-seven days without you and that’s what I was talking about?” The Doctor grimaced.

The kettle clicked off.

“If it makes you feel better, it was kinda romantic. The stuff about not saying goodbye and forever and blowing up my job.”

“Blowing up your what?!”

“That’s why I had to come here. You blew up the old Records Annex.”

“Riiiiight. That explains the drone bomb. It’s not like they weren’t going to blow it up anyway. Didn’t I help?”

Rose rolled her eyes before moving to fix both their teas. “We’ll get into that later. Right now I don’t even want to talk about us. I wanna know about you, what you’ve been doing these past two months. Because I didn’t even stop to think what this all must be like for you.”

Cuppa in hand, the Doctor led her back to the couch as he tried to think of how best to explain something that he barely understood himself.

“I was created in a two-way human-Time Lord instant biological meta crisis. Hundreds of years as one being, then suddenly two. Exact same mind, almost the exact same body, but different enough that I can barely comprehend existing in it. If you remember, the first forty-eight hours of the regeneration cycle are complicated and dangerous. Barely a few hours into mine I was dropped outside of the prime universe that all Gallifreyans are meant to exist in, cut off from all telepathic contact as the walls of reality continued to sway, slowly falling back into place. It’s been … an adjustment. Sometimes things don’t feel real, even when they are. Sometimes things feel incredibly real, even when they aren’t.”

“You had a nightmare,” Rose told him, placing a hand on his shoulder, thumb rubbing soothing circles through his layers. “I woke you up, tried to help. You didn’t think I was real. You thought you were dying, because you only had one heart.”

He tried to smile, and the action felt painful. “Sounds about right.”

“I’m sorry. If I hadn’t been so selfish-”

“There’s nothing for you to apologize for. I want you to put yourself first.”

“But I can’t stand seeing you in pain like this. What can I do to help?” she asked, a desperation in her eyes that he couldn’t bear.

“You’re already helping,” the Doctor sighed, finally giving in and leaning into her touch, lying his head on her shoulder. It was the closest he’d felt to time since they’d been left on that bloody beach.

Memories were still racing through his head. Energy coils radiating artron energy into a centrifuge. The smell of burnt flesh against the remains of a Bverni navigational system. Reports saying: Correct universe. Wrong time - future. No contact.

“The other Doctor said that you needed me.”

He laughed, but there was no humor in it.

“Yes, because he needs you. He also said that I was dangerous. I am. He is. We are. But you already knew that. It’s easy, you know, to yell at yourself. Not often that there’s actually a separate you there to yell at. I destroyed the Daleks, but we’d already done that before we met. In fact, so did you. The other me was lashing out, knowing what he would have to do but not wanting to do it.”

“That’s another thing,” Rose said, moving to face him, dislodging his head, “you said that us being here, in this universe, was the best, safest option. What was that about?”

“Something’s coming. Has come. Ended and began. There’s a massive paradox surrounding me in the other universe. Incredibly dangerous, potentially catastrophic. All I know is that it has something to do with a woman named River Song who claims to be my wife.”

“Your wife?!”

“I said claims. And she did seem to be telling the truth, besides the fact that what she was saying was entirely preposterous. My soul is entirely bound to yours.” The Doctor took her hand and squeezed it. “So I think I have an idea of the kind of man I’ll have to become in order to keep the universe intact.”

“What’s that?”

“A liar. If she is going to believe that I could possibly join myself to someone else, someone who isn’t you, I’m going to have to lie. I’m going to have to forget. I’m going to have to lie so well and for so long that even I believe the fiction I’ve created for myself.”

He wondered what the other him in the other universe would think, then, whenever he caught a rare glimpse at their timeline surrounded in gold, bound with Rose’s for all eternity. What kind of explanation he would craft. The Doctor shuddered.

“But that sounds horrible!” she cried.

“It’s the sacrifice he’s making for the sake of the universe. My timeline is dangerous and someone, something is tampering with it. You and I made one tiny little paradox and it almost destroyed everything. This one is circular, might be able to be maintained, but the scale of it, Rose. And who knows if it will even work. River seems great and all, at least I hope so, but I don’t think she has much of a handle on time travel. That, or she’s a manipulative psychopath. Suppose that’s a surprise for the other me to find out.”

Rose sniffled and he pulled her into a hug.

“He’s going to be all alone.” The words were muffled into his shoulder, his shirt growing damp with her tears. He cringed and tried to think rationally, that of course she would feel this way, that it had nothing to do with how she felt about him him. But then again, maybe it did.

“He won’t be alone. He’ll find someone. I always do, eventually.”

“B-but I-”

“We’ll figure it out. How to get you back there, once it’s safe,” he whispered into the top of her head. Maybe that would be it- what she needed this him for. And if so, it would be enough. It would have to be enough.

“Really?”

The Doctor nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“So it’s not- you really weren’t abandoning me here?” Rose lifted her head, eyes brimming with a hope that had been missing before.

“Never.” The word felt as if it was torn out of his very being.

She cupped his cheek, stubble beginning to smooth out into the beginnings of a beard. He really needed to shave.

“I thought you said to never say never ever?”

“That was before.”

It occurred to him that he had tea, so he took a sip - it had gone cold.

“Oh, right, all the, uhm, psychic-kinetic-telepathy science stuff.”

He opened his mouth to correct her - she was very close, though - but was interrupted by the ringing of the giant clock. It was heavily muffled by the sound proofing adjustments he had made while setting up the office, but still audible enough.

“It’s eight now, yeah?” Rose asked, even as she moved away.

“Yes.”

She walked over to his desk, where the Doctor now noticed a pile of her folded clothes sat. He frowned when she brought them over to him.

“Do you think you could sonic these clean for me? I’m gonna quick hop into your decontamination shower.”

“Th- there’s a proper shower, it’s two floors down. First left, third right, door marked ‘Security Level Alpha’.”

“What, really?”

“Didn’t want random lab techs using it. Has a retina scan. It’ll let you in.”

Rose laughed, ruffled his hair, and gave him a kiss on the cheek before disappearing to get ready for work. The whole thing left him confused. He went through his list again, checking and double checking to make sure that this all was real . It was, just as it had been all morning.

More memories. Recalibrating the tower’s new sub-basement weapon’s vault. Burnt toast and no more jam left. Reports saying: Correct universe. Wrong time - future. Contact made.

It wasn’t fair that she had spent almost an entire day with him yet he had missed most of it. Still, he sonicked her clothes, as well as his tea. Finished his cuppa, and then had a second before Rose came back from her shower.

“Why’s there no one around?”

“Dangerous radiation leak,” the Doctor shrugged. “I fixed it almost as soon as it happened, but apparently there’s ‘procedures’. How’d you get in?”

She bit her lip, fighting a smile. “Mighta shot a few of your doors,” Rose admitted, picking up an electro-pulse blaster off of a nearby cart. Non-lethal on organic matter. Very effective on fancy doors. “Nobody told me anything about a radiation leak, though.”

“Classified radiation leak.”

“And why’s that?” she scowled, hands on her hips.

“Everything to do with time travel is classified to this office. Bethany is not being very cooperative about putting you down as a liaison-whatever. Please believe me, I wasn’t trying to keep anything a secret.”

“Oh.” Rose glanced over at the EEPEC, absently biting her thumbnail.

The Doctor didn’t know what she was thinking, didn’t know if he should ask. After a moment she disappeared into the loo to change, promising to be back in a tick.

It was a funny multiverse, really, that his reunion with Rose Tyler would be such a stilted thing. That it would be about him and her, but not this him. Acknowledged with a few questions after his health, sure, but that was just polite. She’d always been compassionate, caring for others. Rose didn’t see him as the Doctor. Not the proper one. Sure, she used his name, but it would be easier for her to do that this time around.

He looked just like him.

He was him.

But he wasn’t.

Memories were still coming. Adjustments to Torchwood’s alien tech retrieval protocols. Nutrition shots. Reports reading: Correct universe. Wrong time - past. Contact made.

He went through the list again. Still real.

Unless it wasn’t.

Unless he wasn’t.

What would have stopped the other Doctor from knocking him out and uploading him into a matrix? Giving him a half-life with a programmed Rose Tyler?

The air here felt wrong.

(Wrong universe. Wrong universe. Wrong universe.)

“Doctor!”

(Daleks exploding. “What have you done?!”)

Pressure against his hands. Why was it so dark?

The Doctor opened his eyes to see Rose in front of him, pulling his fingers away from his palms. Oh. He was bleeding. Hadn’t even noticed.

“Sorry, sorry.” He spun away from her in order to grab the first aid kit from his desk.

“What happened?” she asked, vibrating with barely contained panic.

“Nothing, nothing. Things just got jumbled for a second,” he assured her, efficiently cleaning his palms and wrapping them in gauze in a practiced motion.

“How often do you-”

“Hard to say. I’ve been graphing them. Seems to be stress contingent, but generally decreasing. My senses are gradually acclimating to this universe, so I have to hope that once they do, I’ll be fine. Perfect. Molto bene. No inconvenient lapses.”

“Stress? What h- oh.”

He didn’t like the sound of that ‘oh’. The Doctor clenched his jaw before facing her.

“We still haven’t talked about us,” Rose pointed out, approaching him slowly. Like he was a wild animal. Like he would hurt her. “And you … you don’t really remember yesterday still, do you?”

“Not really.”

His hands hurt. His body ached. One heart, and it was beating so quickly that he was sure it would give out.

Rose wrapped her arms around him and he automatically returned the embrace.

“Maybe I should just call in,” she suggested as she pulled away. “We can just take the day?”

“Or don’t and stay anyway,” the Doctor couldn’t help pointing out. “Some bits have come back, and didn’t they send you here?”

She burst into laughter. “Oh my god, they did!”

And it was beyond words, how great it was to hear her laughing again. To see her smiling.

But …

That was wrong.

Rose was upset with him.

Time didn’t feel right.

The air tasted off.

Wrong Universe. Wrong Universe. Wrong Universe.

The Doctor staggered backwards.

His respiratory bypass was malfunctioning. It was like it wasn’t even there. He couldn’t get air into his lungs.

Everything went black.

There was a shot of gold, and then a different kind of black.

“Doctor,” said a whisper in the dark. “The timer went off for the TARDIS. ‘M I supposed to take her out of that thing?”

A TARDIS timer?

TARDIS … timer …

The timer for the extended electro-percussive environment chamber!!!

The Doctor shot up from where he had apparently been lying on the couch and ran over to the EEPEC, swiftly shut it off, removed the tank housing their baby TARDIS, and then poured in the pre-prepared aqueous nutrient solution before inserting the tank into the quasi-dimensional artron chamber (currently set to it’s highest opacity setting). 

“Hah!” he exclaimed, punching his fist in the air and itching to switch the chamber’s outside view settings to transparent. He turned to Rose, opened his mouth to ask her, and then paused.

It all came back to him, all of it, not just the jumbled recollections he had been getting earlier. Apparently he had fallen into a healing coma, and it seems to have been just what he needed … but it all truly hadn’t been fair to Rose. Though, to be fair, she was currently smiling like it was Christmas, so-

Christmas. Healing comas. 

Huh.

“Shall we switch it to transparent?” the Doctor asked, unable to reign himself in any longer. “It was clear when Benny - quite the coincidence, right? - helped me set it up. This is a quasi-dimensional artron chamber. It’s funnelling in rift energy and centrifuging artron particles, and the end result in that chamber is the specific environment needed to properly grow a TARDIS. Well, along with the chrono-nutritio aqueous habitat. Benny describes looking into it as being similar to taking DMT, which, by the way, is completely inaccurate. It’s exactly like looking into an Eye of Harmony. If it’s malfunctioning, it’s like looking into the untempered schism, which I don’t recommend. But everything’s stable now, we could-”

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to look into the vortex?” Rose interrupted, and …

“Right … erm, well ,” he hedged, scratching the back of his neck, “I mean, it isn’t actually the vortex, but you’re probably not completely wrong. Best not risk it.”

Excitement abating, the Doctor slumped against the chamber and at that moment realized that he had been changed into jim jams.

Jim jams. Healing comas.

Huh.

At least these were his own pajamas, and not some ‘friend’ of Jackie’s, though how strange was it that he owned his own pajamas in the first place?

“C’mere,” Rose said, beckoning him back toward the couch, which she was sitting next to, but not on. Not your typical decision, but he had likely taken up all of the space earlier. “I made you some tea.”

It really wasn’t worth it, cataloguing the similarities between this and when he had first regenerated into this body … even though the list did seem to be growing.

“Perfect! Just what I need!” the Doctor smiled as he walked over, taking a seat next to Rose on the floor.

Silence fell as he sipped his tea, and he found himself unsure of what to do or say next. There was too much to say, and he’d certainly done a piss poor job of organizing his thoughts earlier. 

“Feeling better?” she asked, after another moment. 

Small talk. He could definitely do small talk.

“Mmm yes, very much so.”

“Better enough to talk?”

The Doctor coughed, having swallowed his tea incorrectly (bloody hybrid body, still acting up), before nodding. Rose moved onto the couch and he scrambled to join her. 

“So,” she began and paused, face scrunching up in concentration (it was nice to know that he wasn’t the only one who found this whole business incredibly awkward), “I guess … what is it that you actually want? Aside from a working TARDIS, that is.”

His brows furrowed.

Sure, there were plenty of ways he could answer that question and have all of them be true, but he had a feeling that she was looking for a specific type of ‘want’. 

Problem was, the Doctor wasn’t quite sure what that was .

“What?” he asked, in lieu of any better things to say (as the runner up response was to ask for some jam, or maybe a banana, or some of the takeaway from the shop down the corner and blimey, he was hungry). 

“This whole time, all of it, since you c- since you were- since you stopped just bein’ a hand- ” the Doctor had a list of complaints and corrections that he barely held in “- nobody’s asked what you wanted. The D- the other Doctor chose for both of us, really, and I hadn’t really looked at it that way before. An’ I wanna know. What do you want?”

Removed from the actual experience itself (and therefore not feeling incredibly, deathly ill), visions of the slight peek he’d gotten four days ago of his own timeline played in his head.

The Doctor grabbed Rose’s hand, weaving their fingers together.

“I want this.”

She smiled and gave his hand a squeeze.

“Care to elaborate?” she asked with a slight laugh.

“Nope,” he replied, popping the ‘p’. “Because as long as you’re happy, everything else is just- just semantics. I mean, obviously it’s going to be a bit dull until the TARDIS has grown enough for proper travel, but I think we can make do?” At least, he really hoped so. It hadn’t been going swimmingly so far, but the Doctor sincerely hoped that he could chalk all that up to the initial side effects of the meta crisis, compounded by all of the, er … technical difficulties he had run into while constructing the TARDIS’ growth tank. Also, his new hybrid body needed much more maintenance than he was used to, including sleep. Really was rubbish without regular sleep. Such a waste of time.

“So, if I were to suggest you moving into the flat?”

He opened his mouth, intending to immediately agree, but then frowned. The TARDIS was here, after all. And he absolutely could not move her. Not at this stage. Not until she could connect to other dimensions on her own. The Doctor looked over at the quasi-dimensional artron chamber, once again wishing that he could switch it to transparent and watch the process unfold.

“How moved in is moved in?” he asked once he forced himself to turn back toward Rose.

“You’d sleep there, shower there, eat some of your meals. Most of your clothes an’ stuff would be there. Y’know. It’d be where you live. With me. If you want.”

“And that’s what you want?” he double checked, trying not to telegraph his surprise - he must have missed a lot while in a coma, as last he knew they were teetering on the edge of a row.

Rose rolled her eyes, and that was much more in line with where he thought they were at, er, relationship-wise.

“Well, I don’t fancy living in a clocktower office. When I’m done working, I’d like to not still be at work, ta.”

She did make some excellent points … but still, it all implied that they would be staying together. And that was what he wanted, of course it was, but the Doctor still couldn’t help but feel he had missed something crucial despite the fact that he could now remember everything clearly.

“You blew up my job. ”

“I love you, too. But I’m still mad at you.”

“You’ve still got two beating.”

Maybe there wasn’t something to have missed. Human emotions were relatively complex, after all, and there was no rule requiring them to happen in isolation.

“Are you still mad at me?” he asked, realizing as he did that to Rose it was coming from seemingly out of nowhere.

This was confirmed as she blinked, brows furrowing.

“I don’t know. Maybe a little, but …”

“But?” the Doctor repeated, unable to stand the suspense.

“It’s hardly the first time we’ve had a fight, yeah?”

He nodded, unsure of where she was planning on going with this and hoping that he wouldn’t need to begin apologizing for every insensitive thing he’d said or done since they first met. It would take ages.

“Well, we always end up workin’ it out. And we did live together, travelin’ on the TARDIS, whether we had a row or not, so …” Rose shrugged, now examining her fingernails.

Speaking of the TARDIS, though …

“First things first,” the Doctor began, rubbing the back of his neck as he stood up and began pacing, “I want it on record that I would absolutely love to live in a flat with you, with carpets and doors and things. Assuming we’d spend much of our time traveling about, that is.” He turned back toward her, having paced his way back over to the TARDIS’ QDA chamber. “The thing is, it’s … I don’t want you to think that- the TARDIS. She needs me here. This is a critical development period. For the next three to six months, the TARDIS will be growing in the chamber, learning how to connect to and create dimensions. Until she can manage it, I can’t move her and she requires near-constant monitoring. Every hour or two.” 

“She’s like a newborn baby,” Rose commented, getting up and joining him at the chamber, where she stroked the side.

“Exactly.”

“Well, I suppose this’ll have to do then,” she reluctantly … agreed? “As long as we’re living in the flat as soon as she’s moveable, mind. The bathroom here is two floors away.”

“It’s a clocktower, Rose! There’s only so much space.” The Doctor scrunched up his face as he said the word. 

“Then why’d you pick this place? I know because of the Rift, but doesn’t it stretch further than just the tower?”

“Nope,” he shrugged.

It’s not as though he hadn’t checked. 

“Really?”

“Small rift.”

“Yeah,” Rose laughed, “a small rift right under Big Ben.”

The Doctor laughed with her, amazed that he finally could.

Then he frowned.

It was all a little too good to be true.

Was this real?

“Hey.”

He refocused. Rose was right in front of him, their eyes locked.

“You were getting that look in your eyes,” she informed him.

“Look? What look?” the Doctor asked, though he was pretty sure he already knew. Some sort of dazed tell, some sort of glaringly obvious indicator that his grasp on reality was failing him.

“This look you get when you start thinkin’ you’re in the wrong universe.”

Wrong universe, wrong universe, wrong universe.

“Well, I am in the wrong universe,” he couldn’t help but point out.

“Yeah, I know. Me too. But y’know what?”

Rose wrapped her arms around him, and it was almost as if she were his tether, grounding him to this new reality they’d found themselves in.

“It’s better with two.”

#TenToo x Rose #doctor x rose #pairing: rose x doctor #timepetals #fic: improbable multiversal transcending spacetime event #fandom: doctor who #my fic

[kakairu-rocks]

We are excited to introduce to you our Creator Spotlight! This is where we reach out to one of our talented members each month to find out all about them and their kakairu creations, and then show them off to the world!

The very first creator we interviewed is the amazing @stupidbadgers ​! We hope you enjoy learning about her & her creations as much as we did. Please give her some love ❤️

Pronouns: she/ her

Type of Creator (artist, writer, both, etc.): writer & sometimes artist

Where to find her:

Tumblr

AO3

Twitter

Read the exciting interview below the cut, or on the forum!

If you would like a chance to be in the spotlight too, the only thing you have to do is be a member of the kakairu rocks forum, and be a creator; and we will contact you, ourselves!

Questions:

1. How long have you been creating KakaIru fanworks? 

I think I’ve been writing kkir since mid 2019 and started drawing them at the beginning of 2020. I didn’t start posting any of my writing until New Years Day 2020. 

2. What are you working on right now?

LOL, I have an ever revolving door of things I’m working on. Currently, I have five active projects, including the KakaIru Big Bang, which I am so excited for! I’ll be starting in on something for the KakaIru Minibang soon as well! I’m hoping to add another work into the verse I started for last year’s minibang. I (usually) work well with having multiple things to bounce between. 

3. What is your favourite trope to create for?

Oh man, how do I choose? Probably broadly, it’s hurt/comfort. I love writing some angstcake. There’s something about writing my favorite characters suffering and then making it all better for them that just speaks to my soul. 

4. Which of your creations is your favourite, and why?

This is such a difficult question. fated to love you is definitely one of my favorites. There’s something about the way I wrote Kakashi in it that just strikes me. Honestly, I identify with him so much in that fic, I felt like I was putting myself on blast. His internal dialogue and humor makes me laugh every time I read it. That’s probably definitely one of the closest examples of me being Kakashi, lmao. 

5. Do you have any WIPs you’re excited about?

My big bang! I can’t say much more than that, but damn I am having fun writing it. In regard to something I can mention more of: I’m writing more femkkir verse! I’ve grown to love these versions of Kakashi and Iruka so much and this particular fic is about when Kakashi and Iruka meet as teenagers and how their relationship develops. It’s a bit of a challenge, but I’m so excited to see how it turns out! 

6. Do you have any original characters? If so, tell us about them!

The only original character I’ve got is Soot the cat. He’s a demon, inspired by my friend’s cat. I absolutely adore him and his dumb antics. Soot is not technically a nin-cat, but he’s intelligent and gets into all kinds of trouble. I’ve somehow managed to include him in most of my fics at this point, whether I mean to or not. He just shows up, lol! 

7. What was your hardest piece to create, and why?

Oh this is a tough question! I’m kind of stuck between two of them: i think i’ve loved you forever and the thread that binds us. Both of them are very emotional pieces—I really put Iruka through the wringer in both of them (and, of course, it’s because of Mizuki). There’s a lot of dealing with the emotional trauma of Mizuki, both in a modern au (the first one) and canon verse (the second one), and that was a lot for me to process while writing. Despite the emotional toll, the end products are ones that I really like, especially i think i’ve loved you forever. 

8. Do you have any favourite scenes from something you’ve created?

LMAO YES! In don’t piss off a seals master, ANBU (Tenzou and Kawaguchi (Hazelbeka’s OC)) show up  at the Hatake Compound to ‘politely’ request on behalf of the Hokage that Iruka return and restore the warding on Hokage Tower after he had powered it down. Iruka politely refuses and Kawaguchi leans in toward the compound, forgetting about the warding that Iruka has in place on it and becomes stuck to the barrier (it was a spin on one of the barrier seals Hazel designed!). I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard at something I wrote, but the mental image of Kawaguchi in his ANBU gear and mask with his face stuck to a barrier you can’t quite see just sets me into giggle fits every time. 

9. Where does your inspiration come from?

Most of it comes from music. I hear a song, I think, “damn, that’s some kakairu right there,” and then suddenly I have a whole fic coming out of my brain, lmao. I’ve also taken inspiration from friends and random things that pop into my head. The moments when inspiration strikes are usually followed by, “oh, brain, no,” to which my roommate becomes Concerned. 

10. Which of your creations is the most meaningful to you, and why?

when a house becomes a home. This fic took me several months to complete, but was ultimately so rewarding to write. I have very limited knowledge of Jewish customs, but my friend is Jewish and there’s not a lot of fic out there for kakairu that features Jewish customs. After talking with her a bit, I had an idea for what I wanted the fic to be and with her help, I was able to create that story for her. It really allowed me to lean into that introspective style of writing and write Kakashi in a way that was a little different from how I had written him before. Writing it helped me grow as a writer and I got to learn about so many interesting Jewish customs in the process.

#creator spotlight #kakairu.rocks #creator interview #talented creator #kakairu #kkir #kakashi x iruka #hatake kakashi #umino iruka #kakairu fanfic

[i-am-just-a-kiddo]

favourite male fictional characters

Thank you @vishcount​ for tagging me, this was a lot of fun! 💞 I originally planned to follow your example and put ten characters here but suddenly it became a lot more oops. also i hope you forgive me for following your format, it’s neat 

I am tagging @isabellaofparma​ , @the-cloud-whisperer​ and @sassyassassy​!

I chose the characters that impacted me deeply on a personal level throughout my life (often shown by how long my love lasts over the years and if i was inspired to write for them). 

In no specific order under the cut: 

Legolas

The Lord of The Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien. 

I think it’s only fitting I start off with this magnificent guy. Maybe I gotta admit, i’ve just had a crush on him ever since I was like, nine years old? He’s the character I will fight tooth and claw for (though I guess he doesn’t need me to do that). I love Orlando Bloom’s portrayal of him, eventhough he is vastly different from the books. Book Legolas is such a delight as well, he feels so whimsical and playful and his banter with Gimli is just gold. I was sad when The Hobbit trilogy came out and I was so disappointed by how they butchered his character, it just did not feel authentic anymore (maybe I am also just bitter about the forced hetero storyline for him. makes no cents, this elf is GayTM your honour. and he will meet his soulmate Gimli in a few decades).  Either way, Legolas is the love of my life, thanks for coming to my tedtalk,

Peter Pan 

Peter Pan, J. M. Barrie

Another childhood crush of mine. The gif I chose if from the 2005 movie because we always used to watch it and it is to this day one of my favourite movies. It’s so dreamy, so magical, yet also incredibly sad and sweet.  I have this very strange fascination with Peter Pan. There is something incredibly unsettling about him, especially in the book. He represents something every child wants - who doesn’t want to escape their bedroom and fly away to experience magical adventured far from the adult world? And yet he also represents the impossibility of it, the curse he carries around with himself because he will forever stay alone, no matter how many lost boys he gathers around himself. And Wendy - it’s a love that was never meant to grow and mature, it’s a fleeting dream for the both of them.  I have seen many different adaptations of Peter Pan and I have my favourites, though I want to give a special mention to the book Peter Darling by Austin Chant. It’s a retelling of the story how we know it, in which Peter returns to Neverland after having finally grown up BUT the main points I want to highlight is trans Peter? Heck yes. Gripping and compelling gay love story with our favourite original lost boy Captain Hook? YES. 

Snufkin

Moomins, Tove Jansson.

I have discovered Snufkin for myself only last year, and yet I know he will stay with me forever. In short - I vibe with him, he vibes with me. His anxieties about being with people and longing for solitude? His fear of being loved and being important to someone to a point he doesn’t know what to do with himself? This man just wants to roam freely with his own mind and yet he always returns for something that captures him. Mum, I love him because I have rarely felt this seen before. Also, Snufkin said ACAB. 

Prince Jing - Xiao Jingyan

Nirvana in Fire (2015)

This too is a darling I have only discovered recently. I watched Nirvana in Fire this year and let me tell you, it’s the best show I have seen in a long while. It’s absolutely amazing and it also ripped my heart out. All the characters are absolutely amazing and I am still not over it.

To be honest, I contemplated between Xiao JIngyan and Mei Changsu, because character-wise I think the latter is a lot more interesting and compelling. He makes for a fantastic heartbreaking and flawed protagonist.

However I have to admit - it was love at first sight with Prince Jing for me and I’m still lowkey mad abt it rip. Seems like I am not immune to Pretty Prince Propaganda. But apart from that, I adore him for his genuine

goodness,

his almost naive drive to be better and seek justice. He lost everything, and for the longest time did not have anything to fight for. So alone and lost and bitter, it makes me sad how much it hardened him. He is heartbreak and clumsy kindness hidden under a skin of scars that was inflicted by his father and many others. I see his sad cat-eyes and I cry, that’s just how it is.

Edmund Pevensie

The Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis

I grew up with these books and movies - they have always been part of my life and it will probably always stay that way (only last night I rewatched the first movie and sobbed).  Imagine my surprised when I finally watched the last movie about five years ago and was incredibly impressed by how they adapted the book; also imagine my brain suddenly going CASMUND in bold letters at Skandar Keynes’ and Ben Barnes’  performance in that movie.  From there, I rediscovered this story completely anew for myself. My favourite Pevensie sibling has always been Lucy (and still is, because I identify with her so much and she feels like home to me); however this new discovery of Edmund’s character was overwhelming. It’s interesting to see characters you’ve grown up with from a more grown up point of view. I don’t want to lay out all my thoughts here, just know I am so heartbroken for him, and so so proud as well. His character arc is amazing and maybe that’s how the last movie makes me even more emotional. Seeing Edmund and Lucy still holding on to Narnia but knowing that that door was closing for them? Not to mention what happens in the later books (we don’t talk about that).  Also did I mention Casmund. Here, have my incredibly emo and depressing take on Edmund’s character that I started writing four years ago and which will forever stay a WIP. 

Nie Huaisang

The Untamed (2019)

My son. My soul. My bane of existence. The tragic thing about him is, that he does not really exist in canon as I have created him for myself. He’s a secondary character in the show, always so relatable yet still brings the ultimate twist of the story, yet he still remains this incomplete shadow. The movie

Fatal Journey

gave him a lot more and I cried tears of joy and devastation. I don’t know why I latched on to him so much, but apparently he is the one that I project on, the one that feels like he sits somewhere inside my chest. I don’t know what else to say - this year he has been everything to me. I spend a lot of time in his head while writing, and maybe that’s how he’s there forever now. Nie Huaisang saw my brain and went it’s free real estate. All my love for you, you dramatic art hoe.

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Ah, another lifelong companion. There are many adapations that I adore - starting from the origin of it all, the books and stories which I have all devoured; the 80s adaptation with Jeremy Brett which was incredibly wonderful; to BBC Sherlock which shaped and traumatised me (I still like the first three seaons but I am too hurt to think about it); to the numerous movies -  but by far my most favourite performance is Basil Rathbone as Sherlock Holmes. Somehow he manages to capture the Holmes I see in my head when I read the books, the sharp yet polite eccentric detective, who loves his companion so much and who has desire to help others.  Sherlock Holmes will always stay special to me, in so many different ways. He shaped my youth and I know he will stay with me. (also what would you say when I told you he helped me discover that I can, in fact, be queer AND ace at the same time? thanks pal).  What else is there to say? Sherlock Holmes is a universe that you can dive into and find many amazing treasures. 

Isak Valtersen 

SKAM (2015)

There he is, the boy that changed my life. SKAM changed my life. All of the characters did. However, Isak is special for many, as I imagine. I remember winter 2016, when tumblr was flooded by these norwegian white boys kissing in a pool and cuddling and I was like ‘nah’, this doesn’t look convincing.  I don’t know what changed my mind but I remember sitting down at last and watching all that was released of season three and it was only downhill from there. I remember starting to follow the real life updates religiously while watching the other previous seasons in between. The one clip that completely wrecked me was when Isak went to the school nurse about his struggles with sleep - it felt like for the first time I saw someone on screen that could understand me on so many different levels. The entierty of seaons three is so personal, I would tell you to go watch it if you don’t know what I mean. The entire show in fact. It’s a masterpiece and it feels so real. This show impacted my life in a way that no show has managed to do before. I miss it so much. I miss Isak too sigh. 

Shang Xirui

Winter Begonia (2020)

Technically, for me personally, Shang Xirui is the nonbinary, gay and ace representation I need in my life (or at least that’s my own personal take on him), but since that is not official, he’s still here on this list. Of course he is because wow, it’s been a long while since I’ve seen such a compelling character on screen. I went from disliking him to being absolutely heartbroken over him. I don’t think any other character in this show captured me as much as he did. There are so many layers to him and discovering all of his sides is a wonderful, heartbreaking, painful and also beautiful journey. I’m not sure I understand all of him yet, but I am willing to try and dig and just ponder his existence. This too, is a perfect example for a flawed yet authentic protagonist. Also he is the most beautiful thing on this planet, or at least that’s how I have been feeling ever since I watched this. I wish to write more of him in the future. 

Aang

Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005)

I grew up watching ATLA and my favourite characters have always been Toph, Zuko and Uncle Iroh. In recent years however, I completely fell in love with Aang all anew. 

I think especially in the past, I had these prejudices against main characters and found them all the most boring personalities ever. In recent years this changed a lot and especially Aang is a prime example for that. Watching him from the perspective of older me, I find so much wisdom in this young boy. Somehow he represents all I wish to be in my life but at the same time he shows his flaws, he carries this sadness with him that will accompany him all his life. This inner battle and chaos that he has to face day to day and in the end - he is just a young boy. So much has been taken from him and yet he learns how to not let it overtake him, that anger and hurt. He tries his hardest to be better than the day before, even if sometimes the world crashes down on him and he gets overwhelmed. He is a child recruited by adults to manage their mistakes and play into the hands of predestined fate and in this essay I will -

Harry Potter 

Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling

I am surprised myself. I thought I would put Fred and George here, or Remus and Sirius, however I realised that none of them quite capture this feeling of lifelong change, of personal, deep impact that Harry had on me. 

As with Aang above, I used to think Harry was the most boring protagonist, yet my opinion took a 180° turn in the past years. Many of the things I wrote for Aang apply to him too - the fact that he was a child, that lost so much, and was always faced with challenges that a child should never have needed to face. Something I want to address is how my favourite book, The Order of the Phoenix, lays all of this out. Harry is just as flawed, just as vulnerable and angry as anyone else. I know some people did not like his ‘emo behaviour’ in the fifth book but for me it just showed how human he is, how he was just a teen like myself at that time. As for many, this boy shaped my entire life, shaped a generation, and I will forever be grateful. I’m sad and angry at how J*R behaves, and how she puts us in the position of doubting our love for these stories. I know I will always love them, but I will not turn a blind eye on all the problematic shit is carries with itself and what the author piles upon us. 

Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian 

The Untamed (2019)

I will try and keep this short, because if you want to read my thoughts about Wangxian just go to my ao3 and find the  over 70k i wrote for them.  I decided to put them here together because I can’t seperate them and I can’t choose between them. Each of them carries something I recognise in myself, and each of them is the opposite of me. They each own my heart and soul and I know there will never be a fictional couple like this for me ever again. They’ve snuck their way into my heart and have never left. They deserve to be here, together, because my love for them is indescribable. Bless them.  + Bonus:

The Doctor

Doctor Who (1963/2005)

Technically, the Doctor doesn’t count as a “male” character, but since he has been presenting as male up until recently, I needed to include him. I chose the Tenth Doctor because he is the one that broke my heart the most. I adored Nine but he was there too short, and I do love Eleven and Twelve a lot, and Thirteen absolutely owns my heart, Ten has just always been the one that made me cry the most. I loved this era of Doctor Who, I loved how sad and hopeful he was, how heartbroken and yet determined to help wherever it was needed. Doctor Who is always that show, when I return to it, I am reminded that maybe, humanity and the universe isn’t all that bad. 

phew, this took ages damn. but i had so much fun! i decided to leave out honorable mentiones because we would be sitting here until tomorrow lol. 

#gosh this was nice #a lot of incoherent rambling here #thanks dear #tag game #personal

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.  (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Ciule and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for sitting down with us for a chat.

SS/HG readers might be familiar with your stories “Awkward” and “Headmaster’s Wife”. 

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? Well, I sort of took one of my real names, swirled the letters around in the air with my imaginary wand, and I ended up with this. Can’t begin to imagine where I got the idea from... ;-) Later on, I realized that Ciule is actually a name in Romania. I had no idea, but there are people out there carrying this name for real. I guess I’m #sorrynotsorry?   Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most? To be quite frank: No one, really. This is more about the characters I like, than truly identifying with them. I can relate to parts of some of them, but not the whole package. Primarily, I write about Hermione, Voldemort and Severus, and the one common thread between those three is the search for knowledge. That’s a trait I can identify with, but I’m neither an evil bastard, a grumpy protector nor a fretting, intelligent activist. I am, however, a swot. If you had asked who I’d want to be, the answer is clear. I want to be Albus Dumbledore. Though I can’t agree with the things he did, I feel absolutely certain that he’s the one who has the most fun during the books. I want to have that twinkling fun in face of absolute chaos.   Do you have a favourite genre to read (not in fic, just in general)? Fantasy! Definitely fantasy. While growing up, I read ‘everything’ in every genre, and in my twenties, I decided I’d spend my time reading what I loved the most. So, fantasy it is. Do you have a favourite "classic" novel? You landed me in an existential crisis right there. I mean, there’s so many to choose from! ‘Wuthering Heights’, I think. It hurts so good. Or maybe ‘Rebecca’, at least, I loved that when I was younger. Or the fairly obscure ‘Lorna Doone.’ When I was a kid, I wanted to be a film director, shooting Lorna Doone into an epic film. Oh well, there might be a theme in this selection of books which reflects in my writing… At what age did you start writing? The creative process has gone on since forever. I’ve told myself thousands of stories in my head, but rarely written anything down. At the age of ten, I had a co-writing project with one of my friends. We created this secret room in her basement, and painstakingly wrote a ‘novel’. It was fun, though the writing ended as it became too cold down in the basement during winter. How did you get into writing fanfiction? In 2009, I became completely obsessed with a TV-show in the last episode. I was watching the entire series, casually enjoying the murder mystery, and in the last episode, the villain said: “I can do the math,” and I was literally gone. That obsession sparked writing my first fanfic stories. Those stories are still on FFnet, but they aren’t any good. *shrugs* What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? Compromise. The world isn’t a perfect place, and will never be. You can, however, make it more to your liking. It may not be perfect, but if you play the cards you are dealt, you might improve something. In Robert Jordan’s “the Wheel of Time”-series, one of the characters goes through a test in a parallel universe of sorts, and she thinks: “The world was not what she wanted, not anywhere near it.” I loved that: trying your best to make things as you want them to be in the face of dangers and difficulties.   And then there’s time travel! I love messing with time, and there are so many great Time-travelling fics. Plus, I have to say I have a certain love for the villains...   What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? Currently, I’m not writing for any other fandoms. I read Star Wars, GoT, POTO and LOTR, and in the past I read Smallville. Though it’s more of a type of ship for me, because I only read Reylo, SanSan, Erik/ Christine, Lex/Lana and ….drum roll… the extremely small and quite oddball ship of Eowyn/ Grìma Wormtongue. If you’ve never tried the last one, go search for the fantastic stories by auri_mynonys. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? One change: duh, that’s easy, isn’t it? Severus lives. Or, maybe Dumbledore acting more rational, not keeping so many secrets. Maybe telling McGonagall that Severus is on the Order’s side… (Interviewer is laughing - ”NOT so easy”) I do write Voldemort wins AUs, but I wouldn’t want canon Voldemort to win. I prefer him to be more sane than in canon. My absolute favourite piece of fanon has to be the Black library. I thought it was canon, but it’s not. This is a thing that really, really should exist in canon! Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? I’m very much inspired by music, and sometimes I listen as I write, but not always. Some fics are heavily inspired by music, such as ‘Absence’ and the last epilogue to ‘The Manipulation of Time and Matter’. What are your favourite fanfictions of all time? Definitely ‘Two Steps from Hell,’ by the amazing Ssserpensssotia, but that’s a Volmione. This was such a wild ride, I felt like I was on the edge of my seat, holding my breath the entire time. Those twists and turns were so unpredictable and … Well, I’m in awe. The SS/HG fandom is so massive, there’s a plethora of great stories out there. The unfinished ‘Self-Slain Gods on Strange Altars’ is a wonderful story by scumblackentropy, and I love Slytherpoufs stories, especially the wip ‘Ghosts’, but also ‘Angels to Fly’. And then there’s the one that got away - it means, I can’t find it. In this story, Severus watches the thestrals, befriending one of them, I think, but they’re unpredictable and maybe even dangerous. He’s heartbroken, and knows how it all will go down, having bitterly accepted his role. It made me cry. And then there’s the works by Aurette, and lena1987, Subversa, Kittenshift… Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process? I need (strike that: want) to draft the entire story before I post, to have some idea on how it goes. That makes it easier to write, but if it’s a long story, I’m happy as long as I know the general direction. This year, I finished a story that was on an unintended hiatus for two years, and I think part of my problem on getting back into writing it up was a too vague idea for the ending.   What is your writing genre of choice? Uh. I don’t know? Basically, you could argue that I’m a porn writer, or at least it’s fuelled by sexual tension and angst. So, romance or drama, bordering on erotica might be correct. To be frank, I haven’t really thought about categories after I started posting on AO3. Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why? Hard to say. I might go with “the Manipulation of Time and Matter,” because I think it’s the best plot I’ve created. Besides, I managed to write Hermione having a relationship with both Severus and Voldemort in the same fic. My favourite “clean” SSHG would be the short story ‘Grimmauld’. Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it? In Grimmauld, the house became a character. That was unexpected, and not something I had planned from the beginning. So the lesson would be “don’t start posting until you know what’s going to happen.” Or else, this story might have turned out very much different. I had to throw in a little made-up lore on how you set blood wards on a house too to make it sentient. That proved to be a quite chilling piece of magic.   How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write? I love old houses. Exploring abandoned houses, going inside to see what remains of furniture, tapestries and everything is so exciting. (It can also be dangerous, but that’s another matter). Such houses makes me feel .. nostalgic, plus I get those nice little shivers down your spine that is a little like a horror story. So, I wanted to use Grimmauld as a setting to explore that in a fic, to really dig into the aching loneliness of a lost house. The story came very quickly to me, so I guess that helped me.   What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing? Big question there. Hmm, I think … it’s hard to say. I’m a reader, really, and I couldn’t easily pick apart any influences. Though I have to say that one of the things I enjoyed when reading ‘Two Steps From Hell’ was the attention to magic. I think it’s important to include spells, rituals and the use of magic in my fics, because that’s what sets it apart from a Muggle AU, for example. That’s an important part of the world-building.   Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction? My significant other knows. I didn’t tell him, but he found out for himself, probably by spying on me. When he told me, I almost couldn’t stop laughing, because he… erm, he said he had thought about reenacting a scene in my PWP ‘Twenty Points to Gryffindor’, where Severus shouts the title as he… well… you get the gist. If he had done that, I’d have had a heart attack. I would literally be dead. Instead, I laughed non stop for an hour.   How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? Haha, so true. You spend all those hours in front of your laptop - and if I wasn't motivated by doing it for myself, I can’t even see how I’d force myself through all those hours. It’s fun, though. I do this because I love it.   How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media? Very important. I'm on the publishing sites (visible interaction is why I prefer AO3 instead of FFnet) and on Facebook, mainly. I love feedback (as all authors do), and when people form theories or make comments, I get an insight into my own writing. I know how it’s going to pan out, but the audience doesn’t, and how they perceive things might be different from how I think it is. At times, it influences how I go forward, mostly because I need to add things, to explain what’s going on. What is the best advice you've received about writing? Don’t post until you know the ending, and remember: the devil on your left shoulder will be at war with the angel on the right side. Listen to the angel telling you to wait a little longer, and not to the devil chanting: ‘Post, post, post!’ In the end, of course, you’ll give in to the devil, regretting it until you’re done. What do you do when you hit writer's block? Read. Read a lot. And read some more. Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing? Certainly. I’m a foodie. For example, everything that Voldemort eats is stuff I love. His food habits are primarily mine, and I love cooking.   Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser? It’s a short piece, maybe three or four chapters, with the title ‘Transference’. The point of departure from canon is during their time in the tent at DH. Hermione wakes up in a bed, in a room she doesn’t recognize, having no idea where she is, but she spots a large, moving picture on the drawer:  Feeling panic rising, she stared hard at the moving and smiling pictures, and her heart leapt into her throat, pulse hammering as she recognized herself in the largest picture. A slightly older Hermione, in a white wedding dress, kissing and laughing at someone who simply had to be a much younger Severus Snape. It had to be him: Long black hair, hooked nose, sallow skin - but then he looked so young, carefree and happy - expressions she had never seen on her dour Professor's face. Beside the picture, there were numerous cards, greetings and well-wishings for their wedding - the date an impossible 21 August 1982, and amongst the cards, the largest one stood out, the black ink showing an elegant handwriting: “Dear Hermione and Severus! Best wishes for your wedding, Lord Voldemort.” Any words of encouragement to other writers? Read and write, in that order. Don’t worry about trolls, because when you contribute something that you created, it makes you so much more than people spending their time just raining on anyone’s parade. You brought something new to the world, they’re just reacting to things. If someone accuses you of a self-insert, go ahead and lecture them on the intentional fallacy. I promise, you won’t regret looking it up. ;-)   And please, mind the normal physical limits when you’re writing smut. Unless you give the male a stamina potion or put him under the Imperius, it’s unlikely that his refractory period allows him to come five times in one hour. Realistic smut is so much more sexy, lol. Thanks again for speaking with us Ciule.

#fanfic #fanfiction #snamione #writing

[crqstalite]

stargazer.

just a little something from the wip folder. i started writing it months ago and i honestly have no idea where it was supposed to be going. you might be able to tell where earlier!andre stops and now!andre begins.

otherwise, a drabble about kodelyn and her mother, hannah shepard. no warnings.

-

She used to love the stars.

She used to be a child who knew nothing more than the skies of Rio, curious and wide eyed when they'd say goodbye to her new stepfather and siblings. Then, out into the warm and humid air with her mother, who'd braid her hair back in cornrows and pick her up to a piggyback style. So far outside the city, she was amazed by the lack of noise, lack of light. The way the sky would be speckled with white and gold, the way they'd twinkle when she lifted her head just right.

They'd never had the time before her sister was born. It'd always just been them, her and her mother bouncing between stations. Hannah Shepard and her daughter, Kodelyn, with the endearing habit of typing her own reports with nonsensical subjects that the crew would take in stride. One had started giving her stickers for each one, much to her happiness.

She saw the stars outside her window on Arcturus, wondering what lay beyond the twinkling lights in the distance. She'd used to make up stories that there were aliens, like any good child would in the years preceding the First Contact War. It'd fascinated her, so far away, yet they sped past them with the usage of the mass relay network. Anywhere she could, she stuck glow in the dark stickers. Whether that be in the crew cabin or elsewhere, she loved the way they looked. The nebula of purples and blues and black mixing into a vision of what she lived to see. Her curiosity about the galaxy before her made many believe she was simply a carbon copy of her mother, someone who asked just about all the right questions and maybe a few that weren't relevant. They saw Hannah in her, a few officers referring to her as simply 'Little Shepard'. A little clone that was constantly on her heels, but it was more endearing than annoying. Most of the time. As long as she didn't get underfoot too often. And that was fine, she liked it. Loved it even. Would've been happy if it stayed that way.

Then all of sudden (well, to her it was all of a sudden), she wasn't living on stations anymore. It seemed sometime between all the childish fantasies of being a spacefaring heroine, domesticity had settled in and didn't seem like it was leaving. Someone who took care of her when her mother was on tour, a 'proper' father. Then, a sister that hung onto every word that came out of her mouth. Then a brother who thought she was the best thing since the Mars relay had been found. It wasn't just her and her mother anymore, a family had grown around them.

At first, she was confused. Why she didn't accompany her mother on cruises anymore, why she was rarely home. Nearly upset even, until she came back through the door with a smile on her face and tired crinkles around her eyes after months on missions. A warning not to dirty her dress blues when she'd been away at the garrison, but never minding to bend down and hug her daughter. The stars became her connection back to her, wondering which one had her mother's ship behind it. As much as the megaopolis' bright lights drowned out those in the sky, she still stayed up to watch the city sleep and the stars find their way to her window. Watching as the ships came in at the dock, becoming adept at identifying each model, growing excited when she recognized the one she'd been looking for. Her mother always said she didn't have favorite children, but considering the shiny models of Alliance ships brought back for her, only her, she had reason to believe otherwise.

Well, most of the time. She'd never tell her baby siblings, but she was pretty sure she was the favorite.

"Do you have to go back?" Kodelyn asks, voice small as she rests her head on her mother's shoulder. The last day of her shore leave, and she wasn't excited to let her just go again, "Let them have Mr. 'Quin, then you can stay home with me all day."

Her mother chuckles, adjusting her hold on her small legs, "If that were how the military worked, I'm sure he'd be gone already, Dee. But you know I have work to do, and I'll be right back here for your birthday."

"But that's forever away!" Kodelyn exclaims, incredulous at the notion. April was a long time from then, nearly a whole year from that July. She believed she was completely justified in her reaction to the absurd amount of time her mother would be gone. In the grand scheme of things, it was decidedly absolutely unacceptable, "You're gonna miss Mason's birthday, and Mr. 'Quin's."

"I wish I could be here for them all, you know that, bug. Shore leave doesn't always come easy to us marines," She responds, stepping out of the way of a bush, the crinkling of leaves underneath her boots, "Tell you what, how about we get a dog for him and Mason? They like dogs, don't they?"

"There aren't pets in space, mom. Everyone knows that," Kodelyn giggles, her mother shaking her head and surely smiling herself, "Are we there yet?"

A pause before they step out from the tree line, Kodelyn craning her neck to stare up at the sky. Her mother gently puts her down, sliding to the ground to sit. Her daughter unceremoniously does the same, eyes wide. It was true, then, you could see so much more from the forest than you could from her house. Gently, she lays down on her mother's legs, Hannah carefully drawing her fingers through her scalp. Names of constellations come to her in waves, pointing out each one to the woman who smiles.

"There's an entire galaxy out there for you to explore," Hannah smiles down at her, hands resting on the ground before she looks back up to the sky, "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yes," Kodelyn responds, playfully exasperated. She already knew that, and she knew that she wanted to be a ship captain just like her mother when she grew older. Of course she was going to explore. She'd get back up into space someday, even if she was only twelve right now, "It's pretty from here, right? So you can just stay here, with me."

Hannah sighs, though still good natured when she gently pulls Kodelyn into a soft embrace, "I'd love it if I could. Though I have a commitment to the Alliance, and I can't just walk away, little one."

"Then take me with you...." She whines, while Hannah chuckles.

"What do you have against being on Earth? I thought you'd like it, after all the time we spent on the Citadel, and the stations, and the ships," Hannah asks, leaning her head gently on her daughter's, "So much room to run around and play with kids your own age. You don't have to keep to the mess or medbay anymore, isn't that what you wanted?"

"Earth is...nice, I suppose. Too many bugs though," Kodelyn sticks out a tongue, reminded of her first experience with a spider only a few years ago. She shivers at the thought, but turns her big brown eyes back up at her mother, "I wanted to stay with you. And then you keep leaving."

"Oh." Hannah pauses, then squeezing her just a little tighter, "Kiddo, I'll always come back."

"And what if you don't?

"I will, and that's that," Hannah answers firmly, "And if you have your way, you'll be with the Alliance in a few years yourself. Just be patient, and be happy you still have solid ground under your feet for now, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Kodelyn figures this is as much insurance as she's going to get on the matter, and relaxes her head back onto her mother's shoulder, "Space is still better."

"As if there was a question," Hannah brushes her hair out of her face, "Love what you have right now, kiddo. Please. You’ll never know if you’ll get this back.”

“You just said you’ll always come back, what do you mean?” 

“Don’t take things for granted -- you could lose it in an instant.”

And that's how it would've gone. She probably would’ve lived out the rest of her days on Earth, had her younger sister not been swept up in the biotic tests that drove them to live on the Citadel more often than not.  And that's how it would've gone had they taken it in stride and gotten her further treatment on-planet instead of the Citadel. Had Hannah's stations not moved further and further away from Earth. The list went on. And that's also, probably, how it would've gone had she made an actual point to stay on Earth. That didn't happen for a multitude of reasons.

Does she miss it? Not particularly. Spiders didn't follow her up, so that was a win.

No, she doesn't miss Earth exactly. She misses how she and her mother's calls end up being less and less frequent. There aren't anymore evenings that she drags Hannah out by the hand to stargaze. It isn't as if Kodelyn can't just look out a window and see them either, but it's a special sort of lonely that she can't quite put a finger on. Did she ever love the stars, the ones that eventually killed her, or was it the time spent together?

After her death over Alchera, the first thing she does once she can get her hands on a secured and encrypted channel is call her mother. She’s nearly clamoring for any real sense of reality, or part of her past that she can get her hands on.

Hannah nearly cries when she hears her daughter's voice for the first time in three years. She figures she’s lucky to get in contact with her at all, considering her current situation. Yet even though she still knows next to nothing of what Kodelyn is doing, she’s just grateful that she spares the time to speak to her.

“Hey mom?” 

“Yes?”

“Remember when we used to go star-gazing out on that hill by the house, when I was still a kid?” There’s a muffled chuckle on the other end of the line, “After Alchera, someone in Cerberus had a sense of humor and decided I must love it so much that there’s a skylight above my bed.”

Hannah curses, “Great. Is there a way you can cover it?”

“I’m looking into it,” Kodelyn answers, “Still, I think it was far more fun when my feet were on the ground, and would stay that way. You used to hold me like I was the most important thing in the galaxy when we went out there. Hard not to miss it.”

“Hard not to,” Hannah echoes the sentiment, “I can’t stay for much longer, but please, stay safe. I don’t need to find out that your ‘death’ was only a trial run.”

“I will. At least to the best of my ability. Love you.” 

#kodelyn shepard #oc #original character

[livvywrites]

a writeblr re-introduction

Hello writeblr!

So, I did one of these intro things a couple of months back, but that was before I figured out how writeblr worked—which meant it felt like it was time for a re-introduction!

My name is Libby, but you can call me Livvy if you like—since that’s the name I plan to publish under! My main-blog is over at @ladytauria, where I do a lot of reblogging of things I like. I’m a 21 year old ace writer living in the US Central time zone, though I keep odd hours which lead to… erratic posting. I’m an avid reader and I love hearing about other people’s writing—particularly in the vein of worldbuilding and characters. So why don’t you give this a reblog if you write:

fantasy or sci-fi of any kind

LGBTQ+ and/or POC leads

a main F/F romance

Also give this a reblog if you post (or reblog):

writing tips and advice

relatable writer things

tag/ask games

moodboards and/or aesthetics

character intros

setting intros & other worldbuilding posts

excerpts of your writing

If you hit any of those boxes, I’ll give you a follow XD

As for myself, I primarily write sci-fi and fantasy, with a focus on LGBT and POC characters.

My main novel is known as THE MARTYR QUEEN the first in an epic fantasy series of indeterminate length. It follows ALINORA MYNERVA, an elven princess who lost her homeland years ago. When she’s visited by the Reaper Elaena, she’s told things are more complicated than they appear. Fate has betrayed the rest of the gods, and convinced the usurper it is his divine mission to end the world and become god of the next. Alinora is the only one who can stand against them, being as she was never meant to exist. Alinora and Elaena are joined by the Slaeyr heirs Lyr and Ava; the pirate and magical genius Talitha Jade; and Alinora’s long estranged Slaeyr sister, Aishlynn Mynerva. With their help, Alinora intends to retake her kingdom… even if it means she has to die trying.

You can find more about it, including a masterlist of everything I’ve posted, through a link in my bio!

Please feel free to flood my inbox or shoot me a message! I love hearing about people’s WIPs and getting asked about my own. (I also really just love making writer friends!!)

For some non-writing things about me, you can click the readmore!

I live with my grandparents in the country. Well, country might be a bit of a stretch. They do own a lot of land, but we only live about a mile outside of town, and have some neighbors nearby. Unfortunately, the area only offers satellite internet, which isn’t too bad most of the time, but doesn’t support things like streaming or big downloads. (On the plus side, this has saved my wallet, as I tend to really think before I buy a game, since I usually have to go somewhere else to buy them.)

I struggle with some health issues, some of which haven’t been identified yet. (Getting to the doctor is hard when you can’t drive and your grandparents are busy!) The main issue is… well. My doctor diagnosed me with asthma, but only because I was/am too young to be diagnosed with COPD. I probably have a combination, to tell the truth. Breathing can be a struggle, especially on hot/humid days. I’ve lived with that my whole life, though—the thing I struggle with most is sleep. I’m always tired, even when I’ve slept between 8 and 12 hours. I have a hard time falling asleep, staying asleep, and getting good sleep. This means days where I have the mental energy to write are… erratic. On the plus side, when I do write, I can churn out 2k or more words, so! Not all bad 😉

Mentally, I deal with anxiety and depression, though the anxiety far more so! It’s primarily social but there’s some general in there too. I have a hard time reaching out to people but I’m always, always happy to talk! Please feel free to message me, flood my inbox, whatever! <3

Enough about my issues, let’s get to the fun stuff, shall we!

I enjoy playing video games—particularly Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim, the Dragon Age series, the Mass Effect series, the Uncharted series, Portal, the Sims, and a variety of others.

My music taste is varied, and I like a little bit of everything, though I tend to stick to pop and… I guess you would call it dark pop??? I dunno??? Oh, and Epic Orchestral stuff. (Preferably with lyrics. I like to sing.) Favorite artists would be Kesha, Taylor Swift, Ruelle, Fleurie, Sam Tinnesz, Karliene, VON GREY, SVRCINA, and Avril Lavigne. And honestly, probably more than that. I listen to a lot of different artists and songs, so I could list forever.

I don’t watch a lot of TV, but some shows I enjoyed in the past were Once Upon a Time (up until season 5); Supernatural (up until Season 10); Stranger Things (so not caught up); She-Ra and the Princesses of Power; Steven Universe (so behind); both Avatar series; and an obscure little Disney show by the name of Super Robot Monkey Team Hyper Force Go. Due to the internet streaming issue, though, it’ll be a while before I can catch up on any of those. At least, not if I want to go through Netflix. (I can stream off Wi-Fi on my phone, but I don’t have Netflix on there, nor enough space to download it!)

Movies I’m a lot more varied on. My top favorites (at the moment) are Clueless, Into the Spiderverse, Lord of the Rings, the Hobbit, Moana, and Tangled.

#writeblr community #writeblr #writelr #writers of tumblr #writeblr intro #writeblr introduction #about me #about the writer

[illthdar]

11/11/11 Tag

Tagged by @silver-wields-a-pen

1. Who is your favourite oc?

To be honest, I flip-flop a lot on that one. Generally, it is the OC that is being tormented or experiencing the most growth in whatever character arc in the Illthdar series.

2. What themes do you struggle writing?

I struggle with fight scenes and romance. Fight scenes because it calls for a snappier text style that my over-wordy self has a hard time balancing. Romance because I crave a specific brand of romance that isn’t often depicted in fiction - the slow kind that builds very carefully over months/years. The sexual tension, the overdone tropes, associated with romance just kind of make my toes curl or make me want to throw books across the room and scream “you aren’t in love yet!” Writing my own version while still adding those snippets that readers crave - the glances, the fumbling, the derp - is hard for me.

3. What’s been the best thing about writing your wip?

The world exploration and the slow unfolding of events and discovery of life on in the world as a whole. I took to writing Illthdar from the perspective of an immigrant - someone who sees the new place they are living with eyes wide open and with none of the rose-tint that natives would have, as well as that naivete and innocent trust that the people around them mean well. This perspective lends itself greatly to the steady exposure to the evil that can be found under the surface of any world, but is especially compounded in the world of Illthdar.

4. What themes has your favourite story included?

The Illthdar series covers several themes: prejudice, platonic/romantic love, good vs. evil, power and corruption, survival, courage/heroism, and war

5. What time of day do you prefer writing?

I typically write in the evenings, after the kiddo has gone to sleep - which is typically around 8PM - and I normally call a quits at 10PM.

6. What’s your favourite relationship trope to write?

The comrade or friends relationship is my favourite to explore. I feel like I don’t see enough of those outside of the friends-to-lovers trope in fiction and I like to explore as many versions of it as I can.

7. What detail about your ocs has surprised you?

(Warning, these are relating largely to later books in the series) The detail about Date Toshiiro’s fingers was not something I originally thought was so important but later turned into something much bigger. Tundra’s past and his life’s mission also took me by surprise somewhat. Seth’s arc is something I don’t think anyone could have anticipated. Magnilla also takes some interesting turns. Vyxen, for me, is especially heartbreaking. Scyanatha’s progress wasn’t something I really saw coming. The same could be said for Nyima. Abaddon’s arc is hints upon hints upon hints of so much stuff that I think will be really awesome to see when it’s all laid out in the end. Zercey/Lerki/Inari have so far been largely predictable in the writing process, though there have been legitimate times where I’ve wondered about where they’re headed.

That’s just the main cast! There’s a ton of things I found interesting about the secondary characters in the series, but it would take forever to write it.

8. Thoughts on including romance in other genres?

I’m going to be real: the suspension bridge trope that’s seen in horror bothers me. Romance in horror - where X character feels forms a very quick and strong bond with Y character is creepy on so many levels, I don’t even know where to start.

9. Favourite writing snack?

There isn’t any one specific snack I’ll reach for when I write. Normally, I’ll have something before I’ve sat down so I’m not usually nibbling as I go. When I do have something, it’s usually something like a fried egg sandwich with some token bits of salad greens.

10. Favourite villain trope?

The villain in waiting. This person has been there this whole time, they’ve been bugging you forever to the point that you’ve convinced yourself they’re just there for the comedy relief but, surprise! They’re gonna cut you up and they are absolutely not sorry. This is the person who, in hindsight, you should have seen it coming, but was so long in waiting to make their move, the only emotion you have left to give is the desire to have gotten to them first.

11. Best scene you’ve written?

Without getting into spoilers for future books, the best scene is a toss up in Guardians of Las between the scene with Vyxen and Scy emerging from the forest during the battle or Tundra and Nyima’s conversation on the balcony.

Tagged by @bigmoodword

1. using one sentence summaries, can you tell me about your wips?

Illthdar: When everything defies logic and reason, nothing and no one is safe.

2. what inspired them?

A lot of things inspired the Illthdar series: common fantasy book/game tropes, classic literary works (J. R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Lewis Carroll, L. Frank Baum, H.P. Lovecraft, J. M. Barrie...), my life as an immigrant, society today on a whole.

3. which of your ocs do you most identify with?

While not specifically my OC (she was originally designed by @guardians-of-las-vyxen), I can relate very strongly to the emotions she experiences in the series. When I write, I try to put a little of my own humanity into all of my characters, in terms of qualities, people who know me personally and have read the first book see that that reflected strongest in Zercey.

4. if you’ve ever cried while reading, which book cued the waterworks?

Honestly, nothing will crush a heart more than Pamela Denise Smart’s “Who's Afraid of the Teddy Bear's Picnic?: A Story of Sexual Abuse and Recovery Through Psychotherapy” Massive trigger warnings for anyone who has experienced childhood sexual abuse, however. An added plus to it was that it’s also a coming-out book as the author happens to be a Lesbian.

5. how do you conduct research for your wips and what’s the most interesting thing you’ve discovered in said research?

I have a terrible habit of doing things to characters first, then researching the potential outcomes after the fact. Were some of the OCs real, they would not like me at all. I won’t give spoilers, however. That said, I think this is a better way to write a bit of reality into a story: the outcomes are not pre-scripted, just as anyone’s life journey is never linear. Forcing the OCs to “deal with” whatever consequence without the benefit of having an desired outcome in mind, puts character and reader on the edge of their seats, I feel, because the threat is real.

6. thus far, which scene has been the most difficult to write?

Again, without spoilers for the future books, for Guardians of Las the hardest scene would have been the mock-fight between High Elder Culvers and High Elder Trenfal.

7. which of your ocs do you like the least?

Currently, as it does depend on who is feeding my sadism, where I am at in writing the series it I can’t decide if I hate Maraxis or Lord Rhett, the most. Maraxis is every bit the villain that you have to live with in life - which makes him frustrating to an extreme degree. Lord Rhett, on the other hand, is the self-righteous, might-equals-right, stereotypical kind of evil - the cliche villain that we don’t have to look at very hard to recognise.

8. which pov and tense do you prefer to write in?

I like third person limited. It allows me to explore the minds of different characters on a deeply, keep the cards to the plot close to my chest out of open sight to the readers, and help the readers connect to the world without a million I-statements.

9. do you write poetry?

In my late teens, I tried, but ultimately saw the paper fit to use only as kindling.

10. who is your writing role model?

Gosh, I don’t even know. I don’t think I have one. I think the narrative voice of each author has its pros and cons, so it’s hard to point to just one and say “I want to be like that.”

11. if you could give your younger writer self some advice, what would it be?

Revision isn’t a dirty word, nor is the suggestion of it a blemish upon your name. It’s a compliment; the one giving the critique sees in you potential to grow and improve. And that is worth everything.

Tagging: @aslanwrites, @bigmoodword, @english-undergrad, @elizabethsyson, @garrettauthor, @haileyavril, @igotablankpage, @imaghostwriter, @jessawriter, @kobalt-ink, @mvcreates

My questions for you:

 What was the very first story you ever wrote?

What does your ideal writing space look like?

How long do you give yourself to research for your WIP?

What do you think is your greatest weakness as a writer?

What do you think is your greatest strength?

Name one of your bad habits as a writer.

Where do you find inspiration for your OCs?

What OC would like you the most?

What OC would like you the least?

Name something you do that you think no other writer does.

Have you ever done NaNoWriMo?

#11/11/11 #11/11/11 tag #11/11/11 meme #writing community #Illthdar #guardians of las #tagged #confessions of a writer #illthdar confessions

[likeshipsonthesea]

Hello! I really love your writing and was wondering what your creative process looks like? I'm trying to get in the habit of writing a little everyday, trying to be a lil' more disciplined with my time and efforts but it's, y'know, hard! Anyway, I was just curious because I'm always so impressed with you as a writer!

Oh wow this is such a wonderful message! I wish you luck in your journey to be a more disciplined writer but man, my deepest apologies, I am not one of those people.

Writing for me, a lot of the time, is me working through my own emotions via ridiculous hockey boys. My ficlets in particular are a lot of me feeling an emotion at 1 in the morning and getting that out through Nursey and Dex. Working in smaller contexts, like a singular scene as most of my ficlets are, helps me condense what I want to express, and it’s something of a writing exercise as well as a way to vent.

When my writing is not that, though, it’s usually me just really wanting to read a certain story until I have to write it myself. Most of my longer fics and original fiction fall into this category, though a healthy mix of both is good for most writing.

The process of doing this is messy, long, and as my expansive WIP folder can attest to, usually does not end with a finished fic. Still, if you want to know what I do when writing a longer fic, I’ll put the whole thing below the cut.

My creative process tends to be thinking of an idea– usually a “what if” like what would happen if Dex was secretly a stripper or what would happen if Nursey worked with the theater department when he had the cast in his junior year (and what if Dex was already working there???), which are both AUs currently in my WIPs folder. If it’s not an idea for a story, it’s usually an emotion thing I want to play with– Bitty and Dex having a close relationship, maybe, like what I did in love made visible, or writing out Nursey’s ~emotional~ journey at Samwell, which is another WIP I have.

After the initial idea, I’ll either think about it a whole lot for like 24 hours until I can get to a Word document or, if I already have access to one, I’ll just start writing. Usually these are my most densely packed writing days, as when I’m excited about a story I write nonstop. Depending on the intensity of my excitement, I’ll write anywhere from six pages to thirty, and eventually peter out as I get out the initial idea.

Recently, that’s been where I start to plan out what I want the story to be emotionally. I’ve been trying recently to have my fics (and stories in general) have an emotional point, have my characters learn something or grow as a by-product of the story. This tends to change the more I write, but keeping in mind what I want the characters to be feeling and where I want them to go helps keep me focused when I get held up or distracted by ridiculous hockey boys.

As far as the timeline of how I write things, well…

Sometimes I write a whole lot in one week, like what happened with Forever Stained, and somehow reach a conclusion, but more often than not I will write a bunch for a week or two, peter out, and then stop writing for a few weeks or months even. With most stories, I try not to push myself to write if I’m not feeling inspired, as I think that my writing doesn’t turn out well under that kind of constraint.

I tend to come back to my stories after a long time and reread what I’ve written and, if I like it, I’ll get inspired to finish it. If I don’t like it at all, I’ll throw it in my abandoned folder, and if I like the idea but not the writing it goes into my rewrite folder. So, really, it all depends on how well I write the first time around whether or not the fic gets finished.

When I am inspired to write a fic, my writing/creative process is more consistent. What I’ve been doing with my recent kid fic, for example, is that I’ll write out as much as I can one night and the next day I go back to where the new stuff has been written and reread, editing as I go. Usually, if things work out, by the time I get back to where I left off, I’m excited/inspired to write the next bits. If not, sometimes that means reworking what I wrote the day before or taking a break until the inspiration hits.

After a lot of the above and frequent breaks, I reach the ending, which I have historically had a lot of trouble with. I tend to rush endings for a variety of reasons, which is why when I reread my AO3 fics I tend to stop before the last chapter. I’ve been trying to amend this recently but I don’t know if I’ve combated it successfully yet. Again, trying to keep in mind the arc/goal of the story helps keep me focused.

Editing is usually pretty easy for me, as I can identify where I get bored/annoyed with an alarming accuracy, but recently I have had the help of some wonderful betas who, I think, have been making me better writers. I went a long time without showing anyone my writing outside of a fic context, where criticism wasn’t asked for, and while it kept me secure and shit, I didn’t exactly improve. So, betas are a big help.

Now if you’ve made it all the way here, I can’t really tell if you’ve gleaned anything from my rambling. But if I had to summarize, my advice for writing is that, while you need practice to get better, I think forcing yourself to write can be somewhat counterproductive. So much of writing (imo) is tied to your emotion and inspiration as a writer and if you have to force yourself to write, I think it shows in the final result.

Try your best to have fun with it, because it is supposed to be fun, I think. If you want to write more and don’t have inspiration, try finding whacky drawings or weird one-liners and try to write something for that. Let people read it and give constructive criticism, but yeah, most of all have fun :)

#personal #my writing #i feel like i have a tag for when i talk about my writing but i can't remember it #i'm sure this rambling isn't that helpful but it's all i got #have fun #don't force yourself #get good betas #:] #also in between writing this i dropped my pasta all over the couch #v upset about it #still ate it tho

[scribble-dee-vee]

11 Questions Tags

Hi all! I was recently tagged in two 11 Questions Tags, and I like the questions- so I decided to do them.

Up front, I’m going to tag @dreamywritingdragon, @focusdumbass, @writtenbyhal, @blogherosix, @adorhauer, @katiehahnbooks, @quintessenceofwords, @quillwritten, @awolfthatwrites, @toboldlywrite, and @firewritten. It’s been quite a while since I’ve done anything with tag games, so if you no longer do them/don’t want to/don’t have time, no pressure! Hope you’re all doing great :D

And my questions are:

1. Which OC has changed the most since you created them? Tell us about them!

2. In which season do you get the most writing done? Why?

3. Oldest OC? Youngest OC?

4. Do you have any self-indulgent ideas for projects that you want to write someday, even if you don’t have time right now?

5. Do you have more of a problem with underwriting or overwriting?

6. How do you get most of your ideas? Music, travel, art, or other?

7. What themes recur throughout your WIPs?

8. What are your favorite personal writing hallmarks?

9. What genre do you write in the most, and why do you like it?

10. What genre do you not write in frequently, but want to dip your toes into?

11. Tell us one reason you love your WIP!

My answers to the tagged questions got kinda long, so I put them under the cut!

The first few questions come from @bigmoodword​. Your apocalypse WIP sounds rad af??? Please tag me in updates if you have updates/use a tag list- so cool!

Thanks for the tag! To answer your questions:

1. using one sentence summaries, can you tell me about your wips?

Heart of Lead- Luanne will die on her nineteenth birthday because her heart is made of lead, the lowest caste of her society, so she works illegally with an inventor girl from out of town and some other friends to build a new heart before her time is up.

Ivory and Horn- an anthology of short stories with roots in fantasy, horror, and surrealism, set in a variety of speculative settings used as allegory for the various experiences of modern women (mostly queer women- this one’s the newest, and 12+ stories, so please excuse the vague description!)

Belladonnas- Eirene’s girl gang/witch coven, the Belladonnas, find themselves with a mystery on their hands when an enemy comes to them seeking help and hostile demonic entities begin wreaking havoc on their city.

2. what inspired them?

I’ve been working on Heart of Lead for roughly four (!) years, so the inspirations I’ve incorporated into it are many! The original idea came from a different look at the phrase “heart of gold,” and music has also been a huge defining factor. Florence + the Machine, Twenty One Pilots, and Mumford and Sons have given me a lot. The steampunk genre, dystopian novels, and imaginative fantasy books (think Neil Gaiman) contributed. Also, the imagery of Hamlet (because I’m pretentious).

Ivory and Horn is pretty experimental, and it mostly comes from my growing interest in the horror genre. I also want to figure out how to incorporate social and political commentary into my work- how much of a defining factor I want that to be, by what means I want to convey it, and that sort of thing.

Belladonnas is really inspired by 1920s aesthetics, Greek mythology, and electro swing music. A fun mixed bag!

3. which of your ocs do you most identify with?

I think all of my OCs are at least semi-autobiographical, but Luanne is probably the most. I project a lot of issues on her. It helps me work through them.

4. if you’ve ever cried while reading, which book cued the waterworks?

Yes. YES. CONSTANTLY. The one that made me bawl most recently was All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr, which was such an amazing book.

5. how do you conduct research for your wips and what’s the most interesting thing you’ve discovered in said research?

Mostly Google? If I’m really interesting in a particular something, I’ll get a book- which I did for fashion in Heart of Lead, and then immediately discarded like half of what I learned for the ~aesthetic~. Oh, well. Did you know that people thought that eating graham crackers encouraged chastity in Victorian London? Well, now you do! This makes me laugh every time I think about it!

6. thus far, which scene has been the most difficult to write?

Beginnings are always hard for me. I usually plan my climaxes first and work backward, unraveling the threads of the story until the point they’re most disparate. I’ve rewritten the opening scene of Heart of Lead at least ten times, which is quite a few more than the rest of the book.

7. which of your ocs do you like the least?

Agh! AGH! How can I choose??? I suppose, since I have a ton of OCs, there are a lot of characters I don’t obsess over as much as my main babies. A lot of these still need work. I think Lucy, from Belladonnas, needs a lot more development before I’m really interested in her.

8. which pov and tense do you prefer to write in?

First person, past tense. Close POV is fun to work with.

9. do you write poetry?

Occasionally! I did so a lot more when I was younger.

10. who is your writing role model?

Neil Gaiman (omg this is the second time I’ve mentioned him on this post, isn’t it? Yeah, he’s great. Go read everything he’s ever written. It will take you a while).

11. if you could give your younger writer self some advice, what would it be?

HAVE FUN! Chances are, you’re not going to have published or released work in the first few years (or first many years) after you start writing. Have that as a long-term goal, and allow yourself to enjoy and experiment with whatever-the-heck in the meantime. It will make you a better writer, you’ll produce a better/more passionate project, and you’ll have a better time.

The second set of questions comes from @sahados-shadow​! I totally feel you with the titling struggle, haha. It’s hard to make the catchy words.

1.  Which side character is your favorite?

Eep, this is so hard- I love all my kids??? But since I’m writing Blood of Queens right now, Vesper’s pretty awesome. Glamorous faerie prince who’s also a complete dork about humans and also has terrifying eldritch powers. What more do you want?

2.  Do you like any character creation templates?

Not particularly. At the very least, I don’t use them to actually create characters, but to stretch my thinking on characters I already have. Oh, and it is really fun to give characters DnD stats!

3.  Do you prefer writing by hand or typing?

I do both! I save and edit my work on my laptop, but there are a lot of times I only have a notebook on hand or just want to change my perspective. Handwriting is good for killing writer’s block.

4.  What kind of music, if any, do you listen to while creating? Lyrics or no lyrics?

Sooo much music! I make extensive character and WIP playlists (which I’d like to put on Spotify and release for tumblr at some point). Song lyrics are a huge inspiration for characters and storylines.

5.  Any animal companions for your characters?

But of course! Ty is friends with a magical talking tiger. Luanne’s family has a cat named Fleurf in book one. Weirdly enough, this discussion could delve into spoiler territory... so that’s all I’ll say about that :D

6.  What’s the first thing your OCs would buy if they won the lottery?

Oh, geez. Most of my OCs would not make wise financial decisions. To make this answer manageable, Heart of Lead MCs?

Luanne- books. Just. A million of them. Enough to make a book fort and live in it forever.

Wren- probably new tools/metal to work with? Also, cake. And non-canned food in general. She’d probably throw a giant picnic for all her friends.

Charles- he would probably invest most of it?? Honestly idk what he does with his money, and he has a lot of it in the first place.

Dale- CLOTHES. Fancy tea? Maybe he’d use some of it for bribes or whatever, too. Who really knows.

7.  What’s your favorite board game?

Scrabble! I play with my friends all the time.

8.  Any OC ships?

Many, many OC ships. I’m a sucker for a good romantic subplot. My main answer for this is always Luanne/Wren, because I’m writing literally an entire series about them. Good stuff I love my girls and they love each other <3

9.  Do you have a favorite time/place to create?

Ideally, I write from 9:30 to 11:00 on weekday nights. Over summers and weekends, I write in the morning. Best place is totally in bed, + tea, + cat!

10.  How does your OC react to a baby waving at them in the grocery store?

Luanne- bursts into happy tears

Wren- waves back

Charles- re-contemplates his entire existence because a baby actually likes him oh my god?? 

Dale- “ew tiny human why do you exist”

11.  Does your OC have a motto (made up or otherwise) they stick to?

Hmm... that’s something I actually have to think about! Most of my characters have a primary set of morals and a personal outlook on things, but I don’t think any have a motto or catchphrase at the moment.

Thank you for all the questions! This was fun :D

#veescribbles #tag game #11 questions #bigmoodword #sahados shadow #tagged #questions

[roberttchase]

Fun Meta Asks for Writers:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 12, 18, 22 and 23 🙂

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?'

Oh lord. I have....probably 15+ WIPS. But, the couple I'm more invested in currently I think everyone is going to like. One is a canon-divergence fic playing off of the idea Matt's injured in the truck crash (from season 2 I believe?). It's definitely not a long fic or anything though. I have a few smaller additions to the Must Love Dog series, as well as a cancer fic I've started for Casey, but I'm debating changing it to Chase from House. Haven't decided yet. Also a contractor AU.

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I'm excited to write more about brettsey's kids for Must Love Dogs. I have everything already planned out, but I'm ready to get it into actual fic form.

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

See, my issue is, no matter what I try to write, I HAVE to write tons of background, so literally everything I try to do takes forever. I will say that I have one WIP that's been sitting pretty idle for over a month that's a Teacher AU, that requires a lot of background to do with where it is, what the school is like, what it offers, what all the characters teach etc. But maybe one day!!

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

I tried going through and finding something but honestly I'm pretty proud of anything I can get my brain to actually come up with that's semi-decent lol.

5. What character that you're writing do you most identify with?

Probably Casey.

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

Maybe Chase? He's got a lot of trauma just like Casey, which I enjoy writing (and I love angst) but he also has a lot of snarkiness and smart-assery that can be fun to write too. Or House.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

LMAO non existent. I go through phases of being SUPER inspired and then months of not. Then I just...sit down and write.

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

At one point I thought about doing like...a childrens book? Something for younger kids 5-7ish? I had a few ideas, but I don't think it'll ever really go anywhere.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

I think originally I wanted to make Beau from Must Love Dogs a golden retriever. Glad I did a frenchie lol. I was going to make Matt allergic to strawberries but changed it to pineapple so I didn't just rip off Chase.

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

I do! Most of the time I reread unpublished ones that are a little more niche than I would post, that are mainly for my enjoyment. It makes me realize how much I've grown as a writer, as well as grown in perceiving a character.

23. What's the story idea you've had in your head the longest?

Well. I originally started a Disney fic for Captain America back in 2013. Then it morphed into a Disney fic for Schitt's Creek back in March 2020 during the lockdown, and I wrote 17k and that's just the first chapter, never finished it. I want to do a Firehouse 51 version, but again, it's going to be a while. Maybe one day I'll sit my ass down and do it. I have time off the first week of May, maybe then?

#I AM SO SORRY #this took a billion ytears #fuck mobile tumblr

[onceuponaprincessworld]

CaptainSwan Soulmate AU Recs

Hello CS Fandom and Happy New Year! I ‘ve decided to start this year with a list of some wonderful Soulmate fics. Hope you enjoy!

If you are intrested you can find my other lists here.

Mutlichapter

Complete

Countdown,  @paranoiaqueen

What if you could have a countdown until you met your soulmate? Emma Swan thinks it's all b.s. and that she doesn't need some guy in a lab coat to tell her who to love but then she meet a dashing Brit in a pub. He has a messed up timer, one with no match. Killian Jones was a man with no countdown until he'd leave her. But can she open herself up to love?

The Music of the Heart Soulmate Finder, @whimsicallyenchantedrose

Emma Swan is skeptical of the newest rage in the dating world--The Music of the Heart Soulmate finder. When Mary Margaret convinces her to get one for herself, will it point her to her own soulmate? Will she have the courage to open her heart to the possibility of True Love?

foxtrot uniform charlie kilo, @swanisms

In order to get into the soulmates exclusive apartments outside of uni and escape their shitty roommates, Killian and Emma pretend to be soulmates.

My Thoughts Are With You,  Shut_up_im_reading

Emma never thought she would need or even want a soulmate. She was happy with what she had… until it was gone. Neal left her, taking all she had and leaving her with nothing so when she meets her soulmate she’s not interested. But when she can hear him in her mind it’s hard to ignore one plan and simple fact. Emma Swan and Killian Jones are meant to be together.

Amaranthine, @caprelloidea

In which soulmates are rare, and those that have them stop aging at adulthood. Rarer still – and dangerously conspicuous – are those that have special abilities. Immortality and powers alike fade when soulmates come in close proximity with their other half. In which Emma’s touch heals, and Killian’s kills.

More Than All the Stars, @cutieodonoghue

In a world full of soulmates, Emma Nolan doesn’t know who hers is. Enter Killian Jones, attempting to stop his brother from proposing to his soulmate, only to be thrown a curveball when he’s sent to spend Christmas on a farm with a bunch of strangers. (soulmate modern au)

Wip

I See The Light (Now That I See You), @bisexual-killian-jones

Emma was twenty-six when she could finally see colors, after she had lost faith in it ever happening to her. She just wasn't quite expecting it to be him. AU where you only see black and white until you meet your soulmate.

One-shots

Soulmarked, @phiralovesloki

Emma Swan just wants to be loved for who she is, and not because someone feels obligated to love her. It's just her luck that she has a soulmate somewhere out there, while she's already in love with someone else.

You’re the Tune that Stuck, @lifeinahole27

A soulmates au where you can have any number of things happen to reveal you have a soulmate. In this one, Emma suddenly hears the songs that her soulmate are either listening to or have stuck in their head.

first day of my life, @piratesails

Killian has never been one to give in. No matter how shitty the hand he’s been dealt. Because, really, Times Square on New Year’s Eve just as the ball’s about to drop? Bloody hell, you’ve got to be kidding him.

Soulmate AU where you get a tattoo telling you the time and place you’ll meet them.

Forget-me-nots on my Skin (Forevermore), @lirapheus

Soulmate!AU in which you see the world in black and white until your soulmate comes into your life, a burst of colour among the dull crowds. And once you touch your soulmate, the whole world comes alive.

Killian Jones is an English tattoo artist who moves to New York after his brother's death. Emma Swan is helping Mary Margaret with her flower shop in The Big City. (She has never been a flower person, but she needs to pay the rent.)

Missed Connections, @captainswanluver

Emma Swan doesn’t think she’ll ever see the handsome stranger she spilled coffee all over again. Killian Jones doesn’t believe he’ll ever see the beautiful blonde who ruined his shirt. So they couldn’t be more surprised when their paths keep crossing, only to find that something keeps standing in the way of them making a lasting connection. But when you keep meeting the same person over and over again in a city of 8 million people, is it mere coincidence or fate?

Zemblanity, @lenfaz

William Boyd coined the term zemblanity to mean somewhat the opposite of serendipity: "making unhappy, unlucky and expected discoveries occurring by design". A zemblanity is, effectively, an "unpleasant unsurprise". It derives from Novaya Zemlya (or Nova Zembla), a cold, barren land with many features opposite to the lush Sri Lanka (Serendip).

The Time Tattoo, @onceuponabadass

What would you do if you knew when the most important moment in your life was going to happen? For Emma Swan that moment was 23 years 22 days 8 minutes and 15 seconds away... and it was only getting closer.

Dumbledore Guy, @seeknot2alterme

When Emma was born she was marked with, in her opinion, the worst soulmate mark anyone could ever have. People are born marked with the first words their true love would ever say to them, and Emma's happened to spoil one of the greatest plot twists of all time.

Scar of the Heart, @curiousthingdarkness

Emma Swan hunts alone. Except on nights when Killian Jones, fellow demon hunter and pain in her ass, insists on joining her. When dealing with a particularly troublesome beast, they discover that perhaps there is more to each other than meets the eye.

Like Rum On The Fire, @nightships

Emma Swan grows up learning to never expect the spark of true love on her skin and lives in Boston as a bail bondsperson. Killian Jones never expects to feel love again after he loses Milah, but finds his revenge may lie in the hands of the Savior. Both of them are surprised when he breaks into her home on the night of her birthday.

how close is close enough, @swanisms

There’s something to be said for the way a soulmate fucks.

The movies, the novels, the articles, the “Soulmates Are Great, Get Yours Now!” sales pitch is that love-making isn’t truly love-making until it’s your One True Love. Too optimistic, “Once Upon a Time” to consider that making love to your soulmate could be the last thing you want.

Fucking them, however, has its perks.

Skin Deep, @captainodonewithyou

There is a soulmate tattoo headcanon popping around on tumblr about soulmates having tattoos of the last words their love will say to them. My friend told me to write it, and I did. Captain Swan angst ahead. (pirate)

Spoilers, @thejacketandthehook

Emma Swan has a soulmate tattoo on her ribcage that gives her pretty big spoilers for the Harry Potter universe.

and you’re mine, @belovedcreation

soulmate au where instead of your soulmates first words to you written on your skin it’s their last words you ever hear them say so you don’t know who your soulmate is until you lose them.

Is There Anyone Out There ('Cause it's Getting Harder and Harder to Breathe)?,  LovingCSFanfiction

Not everyone finds a soul mate, but those lucky enough can see color. It’s not a terrible life if you never find a soul mate. You can still fall in love and live a happy and healthy life. You can still have a family and want nothing more than to have them be the last person you see at night and the first person in the morning. You can still have an unexplainable bond with them. Having a soul mate is just the little extra oomph to the relationship, and you don’t know the oomph if you’ve never had it. So, you’ll find someone you love and not know what’s missing, and everything will be okay. That is exactly what Emma Swan did when she married Neal Cassidy at 18, and exactly why it became a problem when she met her real soul mate, Killian Jones, 10 years later. CS Soul Mates AU.

like the sun, kathleenfergie

“What gave me away this time?” he asked.

“Well, you’re always English and your eyes never change. It gets easier every century,” she explained.

True Love Leaves a Mark, @sotheylived

Emma learns that the tattoo she’s had written directly above her heart for more than ten years may have come from something other than a long night of drinking.

danced in the dark (under september stars), @thejollypirate

For a person to have a soulmate, their compass needs to point toward them. That sounds simple enough, right? Yeah, well it's not so simple when it comes to Emma Swan's life. Between feeling she doesn't deserve a soulmate to perhaps finding a man who could fill in that gap of missing love, there's just one little thing that's a problem. Her compass only points north - broken.

(the one for you and me), @swanisms

And, most importantly, she’s praying to whatever gods there are that might hear her plea - even though they’ve never listened before, not when she needed them most - that this is not the time of the year that her soul mate decides to come out as a closeted Christmas nut and start blasting it in her head, where she won’t be able to find any escape. (Holiday Soulmates AU).

Stardust in Your Skin, midwestwind

Emma Swan may believe in magic and curses and fairy tales but she absolutely does not believe in soulmates.

marked,  lantanapetals

captain swan; soulmate tattoo au.

give me a shot at the night, birdbox (Bella_Barbaric)

Emma stares at her wrist in her lap, her breathing getting shallow; she even tries, stupidly, to scrub the letters off but like David's and Mary Margaret's they're stuck fast. Forever. She has a soulmate. Somewhere in London, her soulmate is walking around—and probably just found her own initials tattooed onto their wrist. She might be within days of meeting them.

Only One Way This Could Go, @wingedlioness

I need a fic where Emma and Killian are soul mates and everyone knows (because their soul mate identifying symbols are like super visual), but they act like rivals and say they “don’t want to be forced together”, but are actually secretly dating after a drunk hook up.

Written in the Stars, @herfairy

Emma Swan wasn't an expert on love – mainly because she didn't believe in it and no soulmate was going to change her mind.

Two-Shots

I Will Learn to Let You Go, @lifeinahole27

Killian Jones, having lost his own soulmate years before, spends his free time finding the soulmates of other people. It’s what he’s good at, and he gets paid well to do it. Finding the soulmate of his latest client may prove to be the worst job he’s ever taken on, though. It’s not because Emma Swan is hard to find, but because he finds himself falling in love with her.

#cs ff #cs rec fic #cs rec ff #CS fic rec #cs ff rec #CS fanfics #cs fanfiction #cs au #cs rec list #my rec list #Captain Swan #captain swan fic rec #captain swan fanfiction #cs soulmate

[interview-with-a-creator]

Writer: Noirangetrois

New week, new creator! We’re back on schedule, and have more lovely people to highlight. Per usual, the interview will remain open as responses are posted! Thank you to everyone who has participated and spread the love.

On to our next lovely creator!

Author/Artist Name *

noirangetrois

What content do you create? (If more than one applies, please select your main focus) *

Fanfiction

What other content do you create?

Nothing else

Where can fans find your content?

Ao3 and @noirangetrois

How did you find Gundam Wing?

I watched it when it aired on Toonami way back in the day.

How long have you been writing or drawing/painting in this fandom?

Since 2001

How long have you been in the fandom? (Not necessarily creating for it)

On and off since 2000

What has kept you in the fandom? Or kept you coming back?

I love literally everything about Gundam Wing, with the exception of General Septum's English dub voice actor. When I first watched it, I was only a year younger than the pilots and really identified with and idolized them, Duo in particular. The plot was interesting and complex, and though the politics of it all and especially Treize's "war is beautiful" attitude really went over my head, as I've returned to the show years later they really speak to me. Well, I completely disagree with Treize, but at least now I get where he's coming from. The characters are also really compelling and ripe for exploration and additional character development through fanfiction. And, I fell in love with yaoi and especially 1x2 (my original OTP and the one I will stick to forever and ever). And of course, I keep coming back because of the wonderful people and amazing content they create.

Is there a go-to fic or art piece that never gets old? What is it?

"The Wedding Planner" by snowdragonct:   

I can't remember how many times I've read it, and I know I'll be reading it many times more in the future.

Please recommend one fan work you believe everyone should see.

Aside from The Wedding Planner? "Oh, Injustice" by one-hep-cat

What piece of advice would you offer your younger self, in terms of creating?

Don't be shy to ask for a beta reader! People in this fandom don't bite, and are super generous and helpful. Even if someone says no, it's okay, someone else will be happy to help out!

What programs do you use?

Text Edit

Describe your writing method from start (an idea) to finish (posting your work).

Generally I tend to do a whole bunch of brainstorming, assigning roles to characters from GW. Inevitably a small idea will turn into a monster of an idea... not since my early days have I been able to write a one-shot to save my life. I tend to get a now spiral notebook or similar for each story and write a lot of it out by hand, because that's just how my writing flows best, though I eventually switch to writing on the computer just to save time. When it's a fic I'm currently working on, I carry the notebook with me just about everywhere I go so that when I get time or inspiration strikes, I can work on it anywhere. Most ideas never get past the brainstorming stage, with maybe a paragraph or two of the actual story written down, but I pour my heart and soul into those that do, including spending hours re-watching the show and transcribing dialogue etc for the stories I write in canon. I reread what I've written over and over, making small edits as I go and correcting typos. To date, all my long shots are unfinished, because life has just gotten in the way, but every story I've started is very close to my heart and I fully intend to finish them when I do get the chance.

How long have you been writing?

I was born with a pencil in my hand

Do you do research for a fic?

Depends on the fic

If so, how much research?

In canon? An obsessive amount of rewatching the show, transcribing dialogue and taking notes. Outside of canon, I tend to make it up as I go along.

Do you have a beta reader?

Yes

If yes, who is it, and how long have you had one?

Kangofu_CB, for about a week

How many WIPs do you currently have?

4 - 6

Who is an author or writer who inspires you?

Juliet Marillier

Where do you get your inspiration? What inspires you to write?

So many things, but most often, music.

What are some areas you feel you need to improve upon?

Actually sitting down to write. I do a lot of planning and brainstorming, but that's the easy part. Once I get started it tends to go smoothly, but putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard is something I often shy away from even when I have the time because of anxiety about whether what I write will be any good.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I do a good job with pacing in my stories, and with hooking the audience by giving them just enough information to get them interested but also keeping enough hidden for later reveals to keep them coming back for more.

Do you have any writing goals for this year?

Finish a fic! Specifically, Of the Sea. I'd love to also get some work done on the other long stories I have in the pipeline, and hopefully complete some more one-shots like the one I did for the Gundam Wing Secret Santa Exchange.

Which work are you most proud of?

I've only published the prologue so far, but it has to be "Bring on the Wonder." I'm extremely proud of the story I've plotted out and what part I have managed to write so far.

Favorite pizza?

All the vegetables plus pineapple, and no cheese, because I'm allergic.

Do you ride roller coasters?

Yes

What do you do to relax?

Read, play video games, hang out with friends, drink fancy loose-leaf tea, cook, listen and sing along to music.

Name one cool/fun fact about where you live or somewhere nearby (if you don't want to be specific).

I don't know much about where I live now so I'll go with the town where I grew up, Livermore, CA. Livermore is home to the longest burning light bulb in the world, known as the Centennial Light Bulb and burning since 1901.

Which of the Seven Deadly Sins best describes you, and why? (Pride, Sloth, Lust, Envy, Greed, Gluttony, Wrath)

Gluttony. I love pretty much all food (though dairy doesn't love me back) and am always down to try something new.

@thisweekingundamwing

#interview #noirangetrois #writer #fanfiction #gundam wing

[sarangkris]

For the writing ask thing, I have a lot to chuck at you. 4, 8, 13, 19, 22, 23, 28, 31, and 37

irjgnpigrunpwIEGRN SORRY I DIDN’T SEE THIS TILL NOW HI THANK YOU ;A;

4) How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?how many..... how........ literally dozens. but! the one i’ve most recently worked on was a dystopian chansoo au where the entire world (or at least all that’s relevant to the au) has government-issued devices implanted that mutes their emotions/senses. ksoo has his disabled before the au starts and chanyeol gets his removed at the very beginning, and once he does it’s like the entire WORLD is a brand new place and he never thought he could love kyungsoo more than he did before, but once he’s able to actually feel that emotion full force??? holy SHIT. but somewhere along the line ksoo gets caught so he has his reinstalled with extra security measures and is basically reset to blank with no emotional memories or attachments, and chanyeol tries to find a way to either fix it/cope with the new ksoo when it seems like fixing it wouldn’t be in ksoo’s best interest ;; ((there’s. so SO much more going on within that paragraph but i don’t want to take forever)) [but if you’re interested you can message me and i will go on FOREVER *^*]Ask me writing questions!

8) Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it“I- I don’t know what this means,” he peeps. “I’m not- I don’t want tonot be a man anymore.”[cut]“It’s okay Joonmyun,” Kris says once more. “It doesn’t have to meananything if you don’t want it to.” She takes his hands in hers, so much largerthan his own Joonmyun feels like he could get lost in them sometimes, andsmiles softly. “You can just be a guy who likes wearing makeup and prettyclothes- nothing more. It doesn’t have to change anything, and if it ever does,that’s okay too.”i’m proud of this one because it represents a view i don’t see terribly often and at one point i could kind of relate to, but mostly because his girlfriend [kris. as in yifan, not me apiuerngpai] tells him that he doesn’t have to identify in any way that he doesn’t want to, and even more, that it’s okay to change his mind about it and change that identity. gender identity can be fluid- you don’t have to just pick one thing and stick with it forever. new experiences can reveal things about yourself to you and. there’s a lot more i can go into but again- too long TT 13) What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?to not stick with my outline so strictly. i used to not even have any semblance of outlines, but when i started just telling people general outlines, i liked those so much that i wanted to keep my scenes EXACTLY like that and couldn’t move past them if i couldn’t make it exactly how i envisioned it in that outline. when i was told it’s okay to make things different from how you originally thought they would be, even if it completely changes the direction of the story, it really really helped me. so. thank you @disneyprince-suho ilu ;;;19) Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?no not really ;3;22) Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing stylei really don’t want to be connected to my old writing, sorry TT but honestly my style hasn’t changed all that much. just improved quality23) If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?ugh... i’ve grown to hate all of my own fics, so i would deconstruct all of them and rebuild them from the ground up with completely new structures. there was a psychological au i wrote that i would keep the general plot the same i guess, but go about it in a very VERY different way. 28) Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.oh gosh haha. y’all gonna learn about the stuff i read i guess. i have a lot of fic writers that i would consider a favorite but can’t remember their handles, but @oneforyourfire is one of my all time favorites. their work always reads like poetry, and even if it doesn’t have content i would normally go for, i will always read when they update. same with @unnie-bee. her fics are so immersive and well thought out that even if i’m not familiar with the au or usually interested in the subject matter, i end up loving them. the third was inkin-brushes on livejournal. (which now that i think about it.... was actually two different people but i can’t remember their individual handles) they had a TON of stuff and i loved all of it31) Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?i write mostly aus, so although i try to keep a lot of canon stuff intact, i definitely take a lot of liberties.37)  Talk about your current wips.........how long do you wanna be here? lmao. in very very short, i’m working on the epilogue to Fitting Your Hand Into Mine, which is about chansoo going from best friends to Something to lovers a good good long while after they find out they’re soulmates. another is that dystopian au from the first answer, and the third i’ll mention is.... honestly just suyeol being an Old Married Couple(tm) and trying to have Relations in the living room but the table ends up hurting joonmyun’s back too much and yeol gets Tired and. they just end up snuggling and being old together lol (i promised this to taonsil 40000 years ago after he gave me the idea and i’m still. gradually poking at it lol)sorry these were so long but thank you so much for asking them!! ;3;