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soleilnomoon · 11 months

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hey miss kaia 😼 I wasn’t sure if I should message you or send it this way butttt I’d love a strawberry-mango mai tai (crocodile or shanks) w/ songs 12, 15, and 23 from the playlist 👩🏾‍💻

hiiiii bb 🥰️ ty for requesting! i am so so sorry this took so long, but it’s here at last. also this was my first time writing crocodile, so i was v excited and wrote more than necessary but lbr i’m a long-winded mfer ok, that’s just how it is there’s no cure unfortunately; anyway i like how it turned out and if i kept writing we’d be here forever ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡

2.1k words (don’t look at me), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni; fluff if you count him not choking her as fluff & smut (and angst that u didn’t ask for but i gave it to u bc i’m unwell like that 😊; feat. post-time skip crocodile in denial (he’s king of it clearly), reader who is (rightfully) in her feelings abt everything, smoking, established relationship, exes 2 lovers bc that’s my jam, a lil bit of miscommunication, crocodile is bad at emotions and reader is too emotional — they’re perfect for each other obvy — rough sex, is it considered knife play if he has a hook (asking 4 a friend), a lot of kissing (hello romance), probably other stuff but idr. crocodile comes w. his own damn warning tbqh. reader sippin that clown girl juice like a champ, i’m proud <3

(if u see spelling/grammar mistakes no u didn’t 💕)

it’s late at night when he arrives at your doorstep; you’re in the middle of flipping through a magazine, the ceiling fan silent and slow, the heat a little more than tolerable as you sip a cool drink. you have no intention of entertaining anyone, but when you recognize the heaviness behind the loud knocks, you make an exception.

of course, you do, there’s no other choice but to do so.

sir crocodile is a man that takes, and takes, and takes without remorse; there’s an insatiable greed — hunger, rather — that he can’t seem to satisfy. or maybe it’s that he’s been denying himself for years and it’s finally become too much for him. a small, quiet buzz infiltrates your body when you yank open the door. you half expect to find someone else there, so you stare openly, disbelief and shock holding you in place.

he peers down at you when you stand there and don’t bother to invite him inside. he knows his presence is probably more than you can handle, but he’s a selfish man and his time is very limited right now. with a subtle nod of his head, almost as if he’s telling — no, commanding — you to let him in; he’s always been like that, wordless commands that he expects to be followed without question.

if you had more sense, you’d slam the door in his face. but sadly, you don’t.

you try not to appear too affected, but as crocodile walks inside, dark eyes taking a sweeping glance around your modest living space, you suddenly remember how to speak.

“h-how did you find me?” your voice is much too soft and timid, something he clicks his tongue at, annoyance slightly bubbling underneath his skin. maybe it’s because he hasn’t seen you in so long, or maybe it’s because he’s much too taken by your beauty — something he tried to forget but was wholly unsuccessful.

he doesn’t spare you another glance as he hangs up his coat, doesn’t bother asking for permission before he rummages through the cabinets in your kitchen to pour himself a drink, and doesn’t think anything of his overly familiar actions in a home that doesn’t belong to him when he makes himself comfortable on one of the plush armchairs in the living room.

you scurry after him, steps soft and hurried, the smoke from his cigar wafting towards you the closer you get. he tilts his head back and exhales deeply, eyes closed as he blows smoke above him — a heady, intoxicating scent that triggers memories of the nights you spent with him before.

not that it matters, but crocodile’s nerves got the best of him before he arrived; he hasn’t seen you in two and a half years, and he always wondered if someone finally snatched you up. he told himself, a long time ago, that he would wreck whatever relationship you found yourself in anyway, but the uncertainty still lingered.

do you still care for him like you claimed you always would?

it’s a question he refuses to ask you because he’s convinced that the answer will ruin his plans no matter what your response is.

when you finally snap out of that momentary stupor, you stand in front of him, eyes glossy, as if you’re holding back years’ worth of tears. but somehow, you both fall back into the same routine you swore you’d never go back to — you straddle his lap, shorts riding up your plush thighs, his golden hook cold as he uses it to lift your chin up.

you remind yourself to keep focused, to not fall for his charm again. you don’t tell him that you’ve stayed single this whole time, mostly because everyone who came into your life after him didn’t compare.

“i hate the smell of smoke,” you declare boldly, voice strained, and maybe a little needy — even though you closely press yourself to him, even though you’re shamelessly rubbing yourself against him with slow, deliberate rolls of your hips. an inescapable, irritating heat passes through him, threatening to burn him alive; already his cock gets stiff when you move on him like that. if he had a bit more sense in him, he’d just leave right now.

but old habits die hard, and for some reason, your presence alone throws him off completely.

in a good way. even though he claims otherwise.

he reminds himself that he’s only here to talk as he runs his large hand along your thigh, admiring the smoothness of your skin — the sensation oddly calming to him. the feel of his rings along the back of your thigh triggers a vivid memory that makes you inhale sharply — you remember that the last time you saw him, you were on your knees and gagging on his cock. that night he fucked you like he knew he’d never see you again; you remember how you felt like melting into him every time he buried his cock deeply in your cunt.

you want to hate him all over and never think about him again.

except you can’t, can you?

there’s a brief pause before he takes another drag from his cigar; and when he lets the silence hang for longer than necessary, you find it hard to breathe.

“and i hate liars,” crocodile says finally, conveniently forgetting that he’s a notorious liar himself. you blush and turn your face at the hidden meaning behind his words — a poor attempt to deny it — but when you look back at him, he blows smoke above your head and fixes you with a pointed look.

an absurd thought occurs, making you curl your fingers as you tug on his shirt and finally question his reappearance. jealousy coils itself tightly around your legs, making your movements sluggish and ineffective. unbecoming, utterly childish, and unavoidable — but you know he won’t listen to that sort of rhetoric. not after being away from you for so long.

you lick your lips and muster enough courage to say, “i wrote to you.” several times, in fact. you figured he was either dead or didn’t want to speak to you. a part of him wants to ask if you’re serious, but from your demure demeanor, he already knows the answer.

crocodile lets out a humorless, pitying laugh.

“it must be nice to live in delusion,” he says bitterly. you look at him, confusion evident in the way you press your lips together as your brows slope down slowly — so he just sighs, defeated by your genuine naivety that he finds terribly charming. when he drags the curve of his golden hook along your jaw, your starts beating faster than necessary, the noise so loud you can barely think straight.

he knows that when he talks to you, he has to… mind how he phrases things, and while it annoys him, he does it anyway. “do you think impel down just allows former warlords the luxury of personal mail?” it’s a rhetorical question, but you shake your head no anyway, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you grab onto his shirt again.

guilt has a nasty habit of making him more considerate than he’d care to be, especially if that guilt comes from you. it has him putting out his cigar and tossing it onto the floor; he’s not sure who kisses who first, but his lips slant against yours and move with familiarity.

your soft whimpers are a honeyed, melodic experience; they wrap around him possessively, driving him to tear through your clothes with his hook, shredding the fabric into large, unusable pieces that languidly slide off your body. a flush settles on your skin, making you feel lightheaded — each kiss more electrifying than the last as he licks inside of your mouth, tongue stroking against yours hotly.

crocodile pulls away suddenly, already feeling like the control he’s kept is practically nonexistent because your mouth is much sweeter than he remembers. your fingers tremble slightly and a breathy moan tumbles out of you when he slaps your ass hard.

the impact is a surprise — one that has you whine pitifully, arousal dripping from your slit in a way that should be embarrassing, but you’re too far gone to care. a lust-induced haze circles around him, nearly clouding his vision as you unbutton his shirt, fingers roaming against his stomach, exploring the dips and grooves between his abs. your touch is much too gentle for a man like him; he knows you deserve better, but he’s too selfish to tell you that. his cock is stiff and heavy in his pants; you relieve that ache as soon as you tug his zipper down and wrap your soft hands around him.

he watches you, amused at your focus and determination when you stroke him faster; and while he’d like to take his time with you, he doesn’t have that luxury tonight. he grabs onto your wrist, halting your movements quickly before biting your lower lip and kissing you greedily; it’s all-consuming, scalding, and possessive.

you should ask him why he’s kissing you like that when he has no intention of staying, but you know it would be an unfair question given his circumstances.

still, your curiosity eats you alive, although not for long.

he lifts you with ease and you sink down onto his thick cock, pussy tight and warm. part of what kept him sane while he was in prison was thinking of you and how much he missed being with you like this — another truth he refuses to reveal, deciding to suffer through the consequences of another failed confession on his part.

you scratch at the skin on the back of his neck the moment he bucks his hips against yours, burying most of his cock inside of you. his thrusts are quick and brutal; you do your best to match his movements, moaning loudly as he wraps an arm around you. he kisses down the length of your neck, teeth grazing your skin roughly as he bites and sucks on your skin harshly. you know there’ll be bruises and marks in the morning, but you don’t care.

all you care about is enjoying this moment with him, one that you’ll commit to memory forever.

his name comes out of your mouth sweetly, like a rhythmic and lyrical poem you crafted for him specifically. he shouldn’t care about any of that, but he can’t stop himself; and maybe he’s just tired of denying it. he tells himself that when he fucks you harder, breasts bouncing and rubbing against his hard chest; he tells himself that when he angles his hips, thrusts frenzied and powerful.

sweat glides down your skin and the heat threatens to suffocate you, both of you are panting and moaning in between kisses. you doubt your poor little heart can take much more of this, but you power through anyway. and maybe it’s because you’re tugging on his hair roughly, almost impatiently, but he takes that as a challenge, holding you steady as his cock bullies into your wet cunt. between the lewd, squelching sounds coming from your pussy and the way he simply can’t stop kissing you — like there’s a thirst he can’t seem to quench, no matter how many times he fucks you — a warmth spreads through your chest.

unbeknownst to you, though, he’s going through something similar; he realizes, belatedly, that he might not be able to let you go after this. impossible thoughts pummel through his mind, ones that he desperately tries to shove aside. intimacy and vulnerability are deadly, in his opinion, but he decides to make an exception for you — and only you.

you cum unexpectedly, hips bucking against his wildly, pussy clenching around his thick girth without remorse. you actually feel your heart skip a beat, like you’re in some romance novel, when he calls out your name — his own orgasm finding him shortly after, thrusts slowing, his cum thick and hot as it spills inside of you.

your legs turn to jelly, making it impossible to move right away, so you slump against him weakly and take deep breaths to calm yourself. he closes his eyes briefly and runs his hand up and down your back; here’s another opportune moment to say something, to say anything, but he swallows back the words, instead opting to kiss your forehead softly.

“you’re an impossible man,” you say with a sigh, blinking as you look up at him; he raises a brow at that, but doesn’t offer a rebuttal. “don’t break my heart.” you jab a finger at his chest, but your features soften when he chuckles at your demand.

another long silence follows, before crocodile speaks again, voice low, but certain as he says, “alright, i won’t.”

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eggyrocks · 2 months

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do you have ANY more thoughts abt nishinoya and/or hinata? i love the way u write them so much 🔥🔥‼‼

good luck w the last bits of calloused hands!!!! you can do this im praying 4u

do i have any more thoughts on nishinoya and hinata??? are there stars in the sky. does the sun rise and set each day. sorry for being dramatic but no i’m not

answering this in the context of calloused hands and not like general headcannons bc unfortunately for you guys i am obsessed with my own content

nishinoya wants to be a menace so bad

like this is the type of man to join random groups on facebook with filled with lead poisoned boomers just to troll and piss them off

he loves to cause problems on purpose

but despite his best efforts he’s actually the most dependable and reliable person in his friend group

he literally does not even realize he’s doing it but whenever his friends need something he’s literally there

like when everyone was moving into their apartments he was there, lifting as many boxes as he could (and also not being able to see past them)

yachi can’t open a jar? he’s got it no worries. tanaka got lost? he’s on the phone guiding him. yn needs to get home? he’ll walk her

like he’ll make fun of them the whole time

but he’s still there for them like 10000% of the time

hes also loud and honest so he always says whatever it is he’s thinking

even if it’s NOT what they wanna hear (ch 19 of calloused hands)

but it always comes from a place of love and care

he just has a big mouth and when his friends are being stupid it’s not like he’s gonna stop having a big mouth

the type to say what everyone else is thinking and not even sugar coat it even a little

but also nishinoya’s the most loyal person to ever exist ever

try saying something bad about one of his friends and live to see the next day

challenge level: impossible

he & yn have the most extreme sibling dynamic for non siblings to have

they bicker constantly and then switch to hanging out like normal to wrestling to just chilling

like they’re so brother and sister

arguably the closest in the band

they make fun of each other all the time but if anyone else tries to join in it’s over immediately

like noya will be like “yn you’re so annoying i hope you get shot” but when anyone else tries to join in and agree with him he’ll be like “???? what the fuck are you talking about why would you talk about my best friend like that”

during their shows they’re definitely doing the most crowd work between songs and their just heckling their audience and also each other

“sorry our guitar player sucks and also is dressed like a fucking nerd”

“noya can you reach the microphone okay or do you need me to adjust the mic stand for you”

they’ll go back and forth like that for a little bit until eventually tanaka will just start counting them into a song and they rush to start playing

they’re so close that it’s honestly kind of intimidating to outsiders

it’s not that their other friends are left out or anything they’re just not on that same vibe

they’re like that one gif of the two girls whispering and giggling to each other u know the one i’m talking about

and HINATA!!!!!

love that guy

after kuroo and yn start dating and each of their friend groups start spending more and more time together, yn and noya eventually adopt hinata into their duo and make it a trio

and everyone’s like ??? how did he do that

but hinata just exists on the same vibe as them

also hinata’s the only person noya and yn don’t make fun of or tease at all (including each other)

they kinda like take hinata under their wing like that’s their dude!!! their friend !!!!

like if noya and yn have a sibling dynamic, it’s like they’re twins and hinata’s their little brother

hinata shows the most interest in learning more about punk subculture and yn and noya are more than excited to show him

take him to see other bands play and introduce him to zines and tell him abt punk history

and he’s stoked to learn more and more about it

hinata’s always trying to be supportive and encouraging of them and their band

but sometimes it backfires

“i’m sure everyone will love your new album don’t even worry! and even if it’s bad it’s not like you had a ton of fans to listen to it in the first place so not a lot of people will hear it!”

“oh….great…thanks hinata”

he’s also literally doing something 24/7

and he never wants to do it alone

so everyone always has texts from him like “hey do you wanna practice with me” “hey do you wanna get dinner””hey do you wanna take this cooking class with me” “do you want to do pottery with me”

everyone is always perplexed as to when he sleeps

also he has like a ton of friends that his other friends don’t know

it seems like every other business day he’s posting a new selfie on insta with a friend they’ve never heard of

and everyone’s always like “hinata who the hell is this?“

“oh thats my friend sakusa we hang out all the time”

“???? when”

everyone that mets him loves him he has no opps

also he’s the best gift giver

he always knows what to give everyone for every occasion so every single time someone is stuck getting a gift they ask him for advice

problem is he can’t keep a secret

when yn asked him what to get kuroo from his birthday and hinata responded with the perfect gift, he didn’t even think about it when he took a screenshot of their convo and sent it to kuroo

he was just excited he didnt mean to spoil the surprise

he’s just a lil dumb sometimes

but that’s okay so are all his other friends <33333

#the calloused hands cinematic universe #the chcu if you will #SEND ME MORE OF THESE #ask

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charmedreincarnation · 11 months

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hii maya!!! i have a success story and im so excited bc this is my first manifestation success story.

for context for everyone else, i was getting bullied at my workplace. my boss hated me and would mock me in front of people and my coworkers disliked me and disincluded me from things and talked behind my back. It was so bad and i was searching for another job instead even though this was so close to my house, the pay was good, the actual work was easy. etc. I told maya abt this and she was such an angel and would let me vent to her and gave me a lot of advice about manifesting.

I wish I could say that I took her advice and changed my life but I honestly struggled a lot. I rmbr crying every single night before going to work and constantly just dreading being there or the thought of having to be there.

But everytime I vented, maya would always tell me to just affirm while listening to theta waves as I was going to sleep so I tried to atleast do that. In hindsight this was a really big thing. I was recently looking into SATS and reading posts about how important what you do before sleeping is because you are super suggestible. I think crying every night made me keep manifesting that my job sucked and stuff whereas affirming that it was great helped to start changing that.

I also tried to ignore the bullying and just act like I was being treated correctly. Like one time my boss said that she wished she had hired someone else and before I would have said nothing and just gone home and cried but instead I just laughed, taking it as a joke, and said that I'll make sure to work hard so that she can be proud of hiring me.

Slowly over the course of 2 weeks things started to change. We got 2 new people added into the team and one of them sits next to me and is my friend and I talk to him a lot. My boss and coworkers are okay with me now, like we have nice small talks and I haven't been undermined in a while. I made an error and before it would have become a big issue and while I did get scolded slightly, it was more of a "be more careful when doing this" versus what I usually got which was "you are so stupid, why are you like this." I also made a lot of other friends at work and work is pretty fun! I look forward to going to work sometimes (not all the time bc I'd rather just be at home in bed) but yeah it has changed so much and I'm much happier.

i just want to thank you so much maya. you are such an angel and i genuinely appreciate you so much. i can't wait to come back to you with a void success story!!

I am beyond proud of you! Your Success is proof that you overcame everything and persevered. But I actually want to point out your reaction to your boss, and encourage everyone to follow suit. You quite literally laughed at the 3D which is what I would do metaphorically but I mean physically probably works better lol.

Regardless I’m happy for everything you’ve accepted as yours. I’m also glad this is only encouraging you to want to go farther and achieve your entire dream life, not just a good one you can tolerate. When I reached this stage I remember I had a thought like “well maybe I should just accept this” “or it’s not that bad now I guess so do I really need to continue or can I chill” and if you have to ask yourself that the answer is no and you know you deserve it all at the highest degree.

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #my asks #sucess

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etherealspacejelly · 4 months

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ERM

ok so

anonymous bc no way am i showing my url on this Jhshsheheh

so like all my friends at school. they seem. so much more mature than i am???

like even the ones who are younger than me. they're already thinking about partners. and dating n stuff. like some of my friends already have partners

but i. just am not interested in that rn??? and sometimes i feel like there's. something Wrong with me. yk

like im year 9 but. i feel like i should be thinking about this and it feels like im not mature enough that i don't want to worry abt that now

- 🐉

there is nothing wrong with you. listen to me. there is absolutely Nothing wrong with you.

it is perfectly normal to not be interested in romantic relationships, i wasnt at your age and im still not. i am in a platonic relationship with my best friend, mostly because it comforts us both to know that no matter what happens we will not be alone. even if all of our other friends get into romantic relationships and prioritise them over friendships

desiring a romantic partner does not make you more mature than anyone else. having a romantic partner or a partner of any kind is not a requirement for happiness, fulfilment, or maturity.

focus on what You actually want. ask yourself what would make You happy, what would make you feel fulfilled and satisfied with your life. set aside these notions of what we are Supposed to want, of what it is ""Normal"" to want, and focus your attention on yourself. this is your life, and you owe it to yourself to follow your own path.

i think it would help you to research aspec identities, especially aromantic ones, and talk to aromantic people about their experiences. you might not be aromantic! alloromantic people can still have no desire to be in romantic relationships, and that is perfectly fine and normal. and likewise aromantic and arospec people can want to be in romantic relationships despite their lack of romantic attraction. what i think researching this community will do for you is show you that romance is not the be all and end all of human beings. it is not a requirement for existing and being happy.

i think even progressive parents can fall into this trap of telling their kids "when you grow up and get a girlfriend or a boyfriend" or "when you get married to your spouse", and like, yea its great that they arent assuming you will be straight, but they are still placing the expectation on you to Want a romantic relationship and that you will have one no matter what. and that doesnt have to be the case!

your "happily ever after" does Not have to involve riding off into the sunset with your One True Love, it can in fact be a freezeframe of you and your best friends jumping into the air together and pulling silly faces!

idk this is. a long and rambling answer to what was a fairly simple question but. this ask hit me very close to home. i know how you feel. i felt Exactly the same way when i was your age. i felt wrong and broken and different and i didnt understand Why everyone was so excited about dating and kissing and relationships. so. im telling you what i wish someone would have told me.

take a deep breath. and let go. you dont need to have it all figured out Right Now. you can in fact just enjoy life as it happens! you dont have to know exactly what you want at this age. you can figure it out as you go. you have So Much Life ahead of you to learn and grow make mistakes and change your mind and figure things out and just. live.

the world wont end if you never want a romantic relationship. life will go on. you will find out what Really matters to you. and thats the beauty of being alive! please do not force yourself to do anything you dont Really want to do, just because thats what it feels like you're Supposed to do.

you are unique and beautiful and so so alive. you are doing just fine, and im so proud of you. you belong here.

you are loved.

#inbox #ask #inbox open #ethereal space dad #aromantic #asexual #advice

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aropride · 11 months

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i am losing it the tiniest bit .

googling like "my mother treats me like a child" or wgatever just brings up like ppl talking abt their mothers not wanting them to grow up or not giving them enough freedom which is a valid problem and one i have but it is a completely different problem from the one im looking for information on which is that i am a 20 year old man and my mother babytalks at me like a four year old on a regular basis. its drivng me fucking crazy but i dont want to argue and she wouldnt listen anyway she'd probably just be like "i dont do that" which .okay. but like holy fucking shit it is SO annoying and demeaning and WEIRD.

and like i can handle it when she treats me like. a teenager. like whatever im 20 close enough i dont care. but when she treats me like im 10. or 7. or fucking 4. its like. what the fuck is your problem.

and like okay i was thinking abt this the other day bc i was talking 2 my dad like just hanging out and he was treating me like a Person and like. idk i feel like when he had kids he was Expecting and Excited for us to turn into little people with our own thoughts and free will (maybe not the transgender communist thing i think that was a bit far but he's always been supportive in terms of like. me being my own person otherwise).

and my dad volunteers at church with some of the kids like 9-12 age range, and a lot of them have rough home lives and 'act out' cuz of that and he's very patient with them and helps them with what theyre going thru and generally just acts like theyre little people. because they ARE little people. like he genuienly cares for those kids and is always like... taking them to the park and stuff but also like, being character witness for their parents' custody battles n shit like actually helping and suppotying them.

whereas my mother volunteers at church with babies and toddlers and its almost like she sees them as pets. and will complain abt them being annoying or MEAN if they cry or dont want to play with her. like she's nice to them but she will complain abt it as if theyre trying to spite her

and i feel like she didnt become a parent bc she wanted to raise a small human i feel like she just wanted a pet. and shes been better with my sister but when i was a kid the second i was like 6 and developed some free will she kinda like. Moved on from me LOL. and stopped caring abt me outside of like. buying food. wire mother type shit. idk it's just really obvious that my dad cares abt these kids as people but my mother cares abt them for only as long as they dont upset her or do something she doesnt want them to. if that makes sense

and idk its like. i am 20 years old. im not going to go back to a 4 year old with no sense of the world outside of u because I AM TWENTY YEARS OLD. I HAVE LIVED ALONE IN SCHOOL I HAVE GONE TO THE DMV I HAVE WORKED A JOB I HAVE DEALT WITH MEDICAL EMERGENCIES ON MY OWN . i have had to make my way through every single social problem and mental health problem and shit since i was SIX bc thats when she stopped giving a shit about me. im not a child anymore

but i think its also part of why im so fucking bad at Being An Adult. bc she never taught me how do to any of this shit bc she was busy pretending im still a little kid. and now im too anxious to figure out how to do things on my own and i dont know how to ask for help and everything is very overwhelming and she tells me she wants me to get a job but doesnt help and she acts like she wants me to leave but she doesnt tell me that or help me leave and i am SO FUCKING SICK of living at home but i dont have the money or the skills to get out

and she's NEVER helped me with adult stuff either . the only thing i can think of is when she took me to the bank bc i needed her signature to take her off my bank account . otherwise my dad has been the one to help me with college applications + college stuff in general + finances + jobs etc etc . whereas my mother ACTIVELY LIES TO ME ABOUT THOSE THINGS TO TRY TO STOP ME FROM GETTING MY OWN DEBIT CARD !!!!!!!!!!

and it's this fucking exhausting mix of signals where she's like "u need to get a job u need to learn to drive u need to do this and that" but also she Literally , not exageratting , treats and talks to me like i am a child . i am so fucking sick of it it's unreal . i am going to lose my fucking mind .

#text #neg #really long post abt my mother U dont have 2 read it im just going fucking crazy

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vlovers19 · 1 year

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long rant ahead (this is addressed to those doubters (?) and to the last anon that you replied) sorry for the bad grammar since english is not my first language. i just want to rant on how i am so fed up with people belittling vm’s friendship like they know th and jm themselves or as if they are part of their friendship. yes, bts shares a lot on social media BUT what we see on social media (this includes bangtan bombs) is still a small percentage of what we truly know about them. with that in mind, we do not have to know every single thing about them. they are HUMANS! they are not some type of fictional characters. they deserve all the privacy they can get because idols are going through a lot and we owe that part of their lives to them. whatever goes on their private lives are for them and them ALONE. i am not diminishing what they show us on sm because i truly appreciate it but not everything is in black and white. when one does not post abt their friend on sm = they love each other less? if you think of friendship that way then i pity you. as someone who only posts publicly on sm when it’s about my responsibilities, i prefer to congratulate my close and best friends through personal messages and they know that about me and are ok with so they do the same thing to me. that does not mean whenever someone publicily posts about me i get irritated. no, i appreciate both ways equally. also if my closest friends posted on public i also appreciate it. if i do not like it then i would ask them to delete and they gladly will do it. not everyone has the same friendship dynamic. vm’s dynamic with each other is only for them to know and only they know what makes them comfortable for each other. yes, other members can post about their support for jm but that does not mean th did not support jm privately. i know they are in good terms. why? jm mentioned th during his album promo (e.g. vlive, leemujin) and th literally commented he was excited for jm (why are people ignoring this? NZJSJ). and IF they are talking less that does not mean they do not like each other. like sometimes i do not talk with my best friends or see that much of each other because we live far away from each other and we have our own responsibilities. but when we meet or interact with each other, our friendship is still the same if not, stronger. what more when it comes to idols with their jam packed schedule, especially with jm. jm goes straight home to rest after a solo sched bc ofc he should because he worked so hard. and now, jm just finished his promo for his album and they can catch up with one another and at the SAME TIME they still remain close. anyway, if you still belittle their friendship then i suggest re-evaluating yourself on why you are an army because bts’ bond is the core on what makes bts, bts. lastly, do not forget to stream face, d-day, and friends (a reminder of vm’s love for each other) ;)

Yes, tell them. People have to stop expecting so much from their idols.

#Vmin #Jimin #Taehyung #Bts

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mymegumi · 6 months

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OMG SELENE!!! the event is A D O R A B L E i’m so excited for it ! if you have some space still left in the matches i would love to participate 🫶

here’s my info!!

name: kit

preferred anime: hq!!

preferred gender: male

best thing about the holidays: CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

a bit about me: i love christmas and all BUT i’m defo a summer girl, i’m super extroverted around people i’m close to but come off as introverted at first, i am never serious and love humour, i love travelling, surfing, docuseries, cats, going for drives + to weekend markets … that’s it HENDNSJ

hope you’re having a lovely first of december !!! 🎄

thank u for the sweetness kit!! hehehe i last minute added the matchups so im so glad u like them!! tbh i was lowkey surprised abt the hq matchups bc i dont rmbr the last time i talked abt hq on this blog!! it was fun to think abt those boys again!!! so tonight i match u with:

OIKAWA TOORU !

ok so based off of the extroversion and the activities and stuff, i can def see y’all being that loud couple at parties that jus seem to always attract crowds and are just so so fun that you can’t manage to look away from them. you are also both just always doing smth fun and going out together to dinners, parties, events—anything! i can see you both also having some rlly funny convos, like gut cramp funny. the two of you have to sometimes get told off by iwa for never being serious enough and he has to definitely keep the both of u in line. also the two of u being travel buddies??? you fs go w him to argentina, can even offer up to go on trips with him so he isn’t lonely, somewhere along the way you both just end up country hopping europe and backpacking across america or smth. its so adventurous and wild the relationship tbh. also,,, def see y’all settling down w a shit ton of pets. oikawa keeps saying no more cats n then all of a sudden he’s coming home w a stray n ur like… ok fine. n then u have three more cats cause ofc u cant leave her kittens behind.

RUNNER UPS: ⠀ ෆ hinata shoyou ⠀ ⠀ ⤿ can def see y’all soaking up the sun in brazil ⠀ ෆ kuroo tetsurou ⠀ ⠀ ⤿ the king of cats man, how can u not love him??

“babe! this house has a light up snoopy figure!” oikawa calls out, excitement clear in his eyes and the high pitched tone of his voice. he’s standing, like, three feet in front of you—purely because he’s about seventy percent leg—and is seemingly unaware of the stares he’s getting. his attention is solely on you. “oh my god, do you think they know about the puffer jacket plushie?”

“i mean,” you start, finally making your way back to his side and sliding your fingers into his, “he’s practically superstar level. megastar, even. there’s no way they don’t know about him.”

he nods sagely, already tugging you in the direction of another house that has a giant snowflake adorning the front of it. it seems as if the house’s light decoration also flickers and pulses in time with a jolly christmas tune playing on the speaker. oikawa is mesmerized instantly.

“oh my god, i want to die here.”

you feel like you kinda agree. here, where you’re happy and a bit chilly, but holding hands with the man you love. here, in this small christmasy town that seems to love their light decorations.

back to event masterlist

#event!twelvedaysofxmas #୨୧ . kit #ෆ ; mutual love

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dykeyote · 1 year

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!! i am asking abt the wtnv guys.. i know carlos is the love interest but whats he like :-3

!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOYOUS I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING ON ASKING IF ANYONE WOULD SEND ME ASKS ABOUT CARLOS HEHEHEHE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

ok so carlos is the love of my life basically the whole thing w him is that like . im sure uv at least Gathered the general concept of night vale from being in podcast spaces but i like being thorough so im xplaining anyway .... night vale is a town that is weird and Freakay and carlos is a scientist who comes to study it . he starts out equally fascinated and frightened by the strange events that happen there and is quite othered by the town but eventually grows to adjust to it more and love it while still being able to call out some of the weirder shit which helps CECIL begin to question things more which is fun mutual character development (: he tends to be the more closed off and quiet one in comparison to cecil who can barely keep a secret to save his life, except when hes talking about science which he can go on about foreva and eva and eva

he is extremely autistic i love him dearly hes some of the best autistic rep ive seen (except when hes Not but thats usually not bc of how hes written but bc of how cecil Talks about him on occasion but whatever . its a show thats gone on for like ten years its bound to have some flops) i love him so much (: his fixation on science is Very obviously written to be a special interest (he only finds jokes that are scientifically accurate funny, he gets so excited at being asked a question about space that he goes on a huge ramble about it before laughing and skipping bc hes so excited, he self regulates by looking at a list of his favorite numbers) and it makes me very happy it was PIVOTAL for kid me loving himself as an autistic person . because hes also the most handsome man in town and his husband is MADLY in love w him and finds all that endearing (the heist isnt canon btw) and hes incredibly smart and capable and agh!!!!! and hes also written with other autistic traits too (not being able to understand jokes, not being able to read subtext, getting so overwhelmed hes unable to speak, intense hyperfocuses) and all of these things dont detract from these facts!!!!!!!! AGHHHH i love it it makes me so happy . genuinely he was so so so impactful on like eighth grade me feeling comfortable and happy w those Things abt herself that he didnt yet understand aaaghhhhhhh. i love him so much!!!!!

hes also an INCREDIBLY interesting character i think wtnv doesnt use him as much as he should a lot of the time hes sometimes relegated to just "cecils husband" which is sad bc hes SO SO SO interesting? hes incredibly bad at expressing his emotions and tends to keep them very clsoe to his chest and hold secrets from people that he cares about - the desert otherworld arc being a KEY example of that hes so fascinating . he develops this really codependent friendship with kevin (an ex-antagonist current-general freakazoid) thats really Really intense due to them being like the only two people trapped in the desert otherworld together and they really do seem to care about each other (kevin was canonically in love w him and carlos seems to feel enough abt him in return that kevin Also canonically genuinely believed it was mutual) and hes unable to really express any of his emotions verbally so he just leaves kevin a letter before leaving without explicitly saying that hes never coming back outside of the letter that kevin reads after hes already gone . and also he was trapped in the desert otherworld (which is like another dimension) for what seemed for cecil (his boyfriend at the time) like a year but for CARLOS due to time dilation it was ten years . where he was trapped in another dimension with no way to get to his home and see the man that he loves again . and carlos said in the ten year anniversaty ep that cecil will Never know how long carlos was in there and that carlos is never gonna tell him . and i find all that FASCINATING carlos is such an interesting character mostly due to the way he keeps everything so close to his chest but its quite sad bc DUE to that we rarely ever see his cmoplexities .... hes a bundle of lies via omission and oh my god i want to know more about his psyche so so so much

also hes a silly goose!!!!!! he loves theatre and acting and gets so excited to go to a murder mystery dinner theater (which in night vale is a very serious thing thats a way of like . actually trying to solve a crime) that he tests out so many fake accents on cecil (live on air) that the secret police tell cecil to uninvite carlos immediately which makes carlos so sad disappointed that cecil has to say that theyll make their own murder mystery dinner theater to cheer him up. he has a brief hyperfixation on making tiktok dances to the degree that when he says hes working late cecil assumes hes lying so he can do more tiktok dances. another one of his hyperfixations over the years is elden ring which he hyperfocused on so hard that he played it for 22-23 hours a day and was so fixated on it that he didnt know the moon was missing, or particularly care until he finished this boss. he spends his time at work making construction paper collage love notes for his husband and considers this important undisturbable work. when talking to one of his assistants he says that the subject of discussion will now be science, and then pulls out a graph with just the word "science" on it and says that its a visual aid for the discussion. i love him so much hes so silly goose

#THAKN YOU FOR ASKING SO MUCH OWAGHGH #i love him . so much #i could talk abt him for hourz

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thetenamongstthesethrees · 1 year

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TW: REFERENCE TO SH AND RELAPSE OF SH AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT

Ok so ik ive been inactive for a *WHILE* and im srry for that but like i have a buncha things that happened these past 3 months that I NEED To share SOOOO....

First things first, the one im most excited abt: I DID MY FIRST PERFORMANCE!!! My school was doing little mermaid jr and I got Scuttle! I was really happy to get my first role and getting at least one solo, and Im just happy overall on how it went! I think I did really good on my first try! Only bad thing was that now im kinda going through my lil mermaid hyperfixation and have been looking up fics where Sebastian and Ariel kinda have a Father/Parental Figure-Daughter or Older Brother-Younger (stupid but ultimately well meaning) Sister dynamic and have started to write a fic on that bc no ones done it before apparently😒(im going cray cray, bonkers mayhaps)

Might've gotten my eye infected(I live in the east of the us, new york to be more specific and woke up the day after the "live vintage (BLAME CANADA/j) filter" with my right eyes nerves slightly more irritated and haven't gotten that checked out so thats fun)

FINALLY finished that one drawing ive been making for 3 MONTHS.(well, technically....)

Almost done writing my passion project, AKA the one I originally wanted to make into an animated series but have settled for a book just in case that can't happen! I still need to work out some kinks, design more outfits, get all their personalities in check, make sure the world and magic is fully fleshed out, ect.

I also do band, and while I originally thought that I would have a problem bc of both band and theatres close scheduling(i originally had dress rehearsal on june 2nd, AND my band concert on June 2nd) but it all worked out in the end! My band concert went great, and while the dress rehearsal was a mess, we at least got through it! :)

Unintentionally quit SH! I was originally only meant to stop until AFTER performances, but ive been bettering myself and learned that if I ever want to forgive myself or at least move on I gotta stop feeling sorry for myself and not forget nor forgive, but remember, i just can't let it haunt me. I know I'll relapse, I always do eventually, but I want to enjoy these few moments of mental "clarity" while I can. I've also learned that for some reason i tend to become a more terrible person and despicable person the more time I spend at home with my mother, so that's fun. God, I hate America's education system, its messed me up BAD. AND the foster care system. I just tried to kms 2 times today, and she didn't even notice, or care. How sad is that?

On a lighter note, yes, as the rest of yt and TikTok, I got a minor lil hyperfixation on the Lorax and really think ppl should make more [PLATONIC] Lorax and Onceler dynamics, mainly the type where they're like some really annoying pair of bickering siblings or a father whos sick of his adopted child's shit, like there is so much on the table for platonic fluff and angst and most of what I've seen is romantic smut and fluff like CHANGE IT UP A LIL

Also, Ive been going to karaoke centers on Tuesdays and have become a lot more confident to performing in front of ppl! So far, I've performed "All You Wanna Do", "The Ballad of Jane Doe", "Heart of Stone", and am gonna do "What the World Needs" the next upcoming Tuesday, where I'm gonna try interacting with the audience while singing!!

(Also, before I end this....I may have ADHD??? my teacher who has ADHD says some of my behavior is "similar to hers"(i feel like thats just her way of saying i reek of neurodivergency) and I also did some research and I display similar/exact behaviors listed, have taken online tests from doctorate confirmed sites and basically all of them said to go get a diagnosis. I also found I do a few behaviors similar to stimming! Also also, I kinda suspect a lil more bc my mom has Autism and apparently sometimes neurodivergency is biological (i forgor the word) but my mom is kinda in denial abt my Depression diagnosis and thinks I got anxiety "biologically", so if I tell her I wanna get tested for ADHD shes just kinda gonna gaslight me into not believing that and i already told the school therapist and basically she just told me that I'm probably just imagining things or copying behaviors from my mother and that "kids like to give themselves all these titles nowadays" so I just did what I always do which is to keep it shut and act until they think you fell in line)

So yeah, thats all! Thanks for reading, now that my schedule is clear again ima start posting more frequently again, so be aware :) <3333

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seoafin · 1 year

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HELLO ??? LITERALLY HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES UR FIC IS TOO GOOD ?????

i felt every single emotion reading it. i am numb.

(forgive my rambling... please)

megumi... poor boy. when ur around his age, you would imagine that you'd trust people easier, or have a "child-like faith" but he's the complete opposite and it BREAKS MY HEART LORDDDD

tsumiki as well... 😭 carrying so much on her back and she probably hasn't even learnt quadratic formula yet 😭 my heart aches everytime i think about her tbh. it takes an insane amount of maturity (for someone as young as her) to keep smiling and get things done for her and megs. or maybe she has double the amount of child-like faith that megumi just seemed to lose along the way. (just yet another way of how she's raising them both.... crying)

toji may be a piece of shit.... but he's my piece of shit im so sorry. glad that rip!mc gave him that wake up call though !! (if only she were canon.... gege im in ur walls).

satoru being angry and annoyed for this entire fic did make me giggle. personally, i don't think many things can get him that riled up,,, so let's just say im jumping up and down at the fact that someone so "boring" can make his blood pressure increase like no one's business. (i love how protective he is even though if u look closely, he can be borderline psychotic. he cares SO much about her anddddd i have tears in my eyes again. wow. just him immediately taking rip!mc to his room to play cards. him making immediate moves to help her and megs. that is SO important to me.)

suguru as well 😭 he is so cute shame... just constantly flustered 😭😭😭 thank you for making him happy.. it's all i've wanted for the past 3 years 😭😭😭 (him and satoru.... thin ice... love them tho. but thin ice)

shoko. im in love. nothing has changed. i understand rip!mc. plus,,, her being the biggest instigator LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 not giving satoru, suguru, OR toji a moment of peace. such wife material actually. it's also so heartwarming that she doesn't pry into rip!mc's stuff, how she continues to lie to the boys just for her. the blind trust.... they're meant to be... (THE END WAS EVERYTHING TO ME. PERSONALLY.)

rip!mc.... you really dug at my heart this time 😭😭😭😭 i don't wanna overshare, but all i will say is, she is JUST like me. im fr just looking at myself at this point and all this kinda hits home 😭 (the daddy issues theme was amazing morgan love it) she is too kindhearted for her own good (sounds like SOMEONE... 😔) but i love her w everything in my heart. she deserves every single good thing and more that comes her way tbh. just her projecting her issues onto megs and toji was so heartbreaking. love her.

marie is so fine.

amazing fic as always morgan. you are genuinely such an amazing author, u really grabbed me and forced to feel every emotion in this fic 😭 ur talent never fails to amaze me. you >>>> the world. ly and goodbye. (more art coming ur way!)

IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!!!

my favorite thing abt writing rip!mc is hands down her dynamic with megumi and i know i haven't written abt those two as much as i probably should've but i love them...i made it so that rip!mc would parallel megumi bc i wanted to explore a character that really had no other choice but to become a jujutsu sorcerer like in an another life rip!mc could've been megumi and megumi could've been rip!mc the possibilities!! tsumiki too. im rlly excited for her role in the upcoming chapters/arcs bc i rlly want to see more of her. just imagining tsumiki who is barely older than megumi taking on the role of responsibility when they were children breaks my heart. also a lot of ppl talk about megumi and toji but what about tsumiki and HER mother??? like yes toji abandoned megumi but so did tsumiki's mother like ouch that must've hurt or maybe she was just so used to it which is why taking care of megumi came so easy. maybe she was used to fending for herself 🥲

toji.... i originally envisioned rip!mc finding him in a pachinko parlor LMAO stsg were ALSO supposed to visit the hostess club unfortunately i cut the scene out bc it didn't make sense. but yes the man definitely needed a wake up call personally i think rip!mc should've been even harsher but the girl was straight up dissociating that entire conversation fjdksfdjnks

hs gojo is such a tsundere!!! like it's part bc he sucks at communicating and it's another part the fact that rip!mc is just extraordinarily dense in aspects. he also just assumes that it's a given that people understand him (like geto does) LMAO. i feel like that's the difference between hs gojo n adult gojo in regards to his relationship with rip!mc. adult gojo is just a lot more confident in how to handle her and knows exactly what buttons to push while hs gojo is a lot more rash and easier crueler with his words. he is the WORST.

when else is geto not going to be happy other than in my fics 😔 i love him so much!!! i wrote all the geto scenes for this fic first and then tried to figure out where to fit gojo let me TELL YOU. all the geto parts were done and written!!! it took me like 3 months to finish gojo's though 😭😭😭

ok let's talk shoko aka the TRUE ENDING. yes shoko is the biggest instigator ever. it would be hilarious to see gojo and geto riled up while also asserting her Dominance as rip!mc's number 1 <33333 in the end she's the only one that actually and truly just wants the best things for her bf even if that may or may not include stsg. these bitches r so gay.....gojo n geto r just willfully blind about it DNFJKSDNJF

thank you so much for reading friend!!! once again im so so so so happy you enjoyed it <33333 like if even one person enjoyed that makes me soooo happy and thank you for letting me read your thoughts I LOVE WHEN PPL TALK TO ME ABT MY FICS <3333 also i will eagerly be awaiting whatever u draw omg

#yeah yeah toji abandoned megumi but tsumiki's mother also abandoned HER 😭#i'd argue it's even worse considering we don't even know what happened to her unlike toji #never apologize for rambling it genuinely heartens me to see ppl enjoy it!!!!!#let ME apologize bc i RAMBLED LMAO #long post #.fb

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bruiisedpetals-a · 1 year

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long NON RP RANT — about work bc the audacity!?!??! tldr: a girl who had applied and interviewed and confirmed her trial shift to be a barista last week and was V EXCITED so we cancelled another person for her trial .... showed up, said hi, chatted a bit, had a look inside, then said she was going for a walk to look around the area bc she isnt a local, and within 5 MINUTES (literally. five) ghosted, disappeared, text my boss and said “yeah nah bye”, and left me alone handling the whole place. cue endless work for me w double the usual customers, and a shift that lasted three hours longer that it should have bc of the ghosting.

rel context: i work in a small coffee & bagel place, two people on one shift: one on coffee & point of sale and another to be the cook, we also have two online food delivery providers so we take orders in person and from two apps + i’m a barista and have line cook kitchen prac & experience so am actually a ‘cook’ ig?

so i mentioned in my post when i was half asleep yesterday that i had a new person coming into my workplace for a trial today, so i stayed late to prep for weekend trade + restock stuff, and came in early to set up everything just in case. we were v busy yesterday with food as it was so i had a lot to restock, and w mothers day tomorrow everything needs to be topped up more-so. that a lot of work by itself to be honest but manageable in between cooking, esp when you have an extra set of hands when its quiet to help. look if you have seen any cooking show you might see that set up, prep and pack down take THE LONGEST ok.

— our permanent staff consists of me and K, we have two other locations so we get help from Z and J, and they can usually cover the shifts that K and i can’t (eg. K can’t do saturdays, i cant do every 3rd tuesday) but they manage other locations so they are not available without prior notice. so basically the only person who was available to work today was me, even my boss was busy moving house w his wife, 4mo and two under 8yo’s. —

this morning i’m at work at 7am, turn on things etc, set up my cooking stuff, open the coffee machine, nothing crazy. at abt 7:45am im chillin outside having a coffee and a smoke and someone walks up and it turns out to be the trial girl. we chat a bit etc, i show her inside and the machine (she’s a barista and i’m the cook on shift) — i say that i just heard from my boss myself, bc she had spoken w him earlier that morning, and he’s on the way and should be here within 5-7 mins ***technically we open at 8am but i was waiting for my boss but had checked the time to keep track & i had just text my boss back so i saw the timestamp***

so at 7:59am i head inside after i finish my smoke and she’s going to have a look where i told her there is free close parking for next time bc she took the train, at 8:04am my boss walks in and goes “WOW IT’S 8:04AM AND SHE’S NOT HERE lmao” (he did not yell it he’s a g - that’s just how i knew what the time was alksjfhg) and i go “no she’s just having a look down [street] bc of the parking i literally saw her a few mins ago” and proceed to open the doors etc. meanwhile i see my boss on the phone calling her, after a moment he comes over with a Whole “i cant fkn believe this” Face on while he’s on the phone. i’m thinking “??? i hope trial girl didn’t get lost in these lil crossover streets damn”

(it’s 8:07am, from now the customers start. they DO NOT STOP until at least 11am, it was at least double the normal turnover of profits during that time so thats ur ref for how BUSY it got)

boss goes “ur not gonna believe this” and show me the mssg from trial girl who basically has said “hi i went to ur shop, and i had a wander around the area and its just not good enough for me so i’m on my way home”. she’s GONE. in those five minutes. she got up, lied to me, and was at the nearby train station leaving. boss is floored and i’m like !>?!??!?!@#!#?who IN THE FK does this?!?!? but the customers so *professional me is present rn*

between her and boss there’s a little back and forth (text, she wont answer any calls) where he literally pleads with her bc there is NO ONE who can come in an assist me and she confirmed yesterday and she WAS HERE, she continues to be like “mmmm well ik that we discussed this and i said that i would be here and its been set for days and i applied LAST WEEK etc. but... no sorry im going back to bed” and then blocks him.

& this whole thing takes place between

7:59AM — 8:07AM.

i was there from 7am - 4:35pm / my usual saturday is 7:45am - 2:30pm

WHO DOES THAT. WHO IS THAT UNPROFESSIONAL. WHO??? WHOMST??? SHE WAS SO FKN RUDE I WAS liVID. LIKE. why LEAD us ALL ON. we all need to make a living do U THINk he can afford to lose a whole day of trade?? he’s got a whole FAmILY and his wife cant work rn bc she’s just had their 3rd child. i live PaYCHECK to PAYcheck. like this is life this isnt a game???? you are 29YRS OLD why cant u act grown

#ooc. out of ink ⋯ skye posts #( this is long bc it's literally my stream of thought and i needed to get it out of my head alkrjhfg )

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gyunivrse · 1 year

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You went to the atlanta concert and they ran past you- The way I'm jealous *sobs

Tell me more about your experience there!

IT WAS SO 😭😭

okay so any time i talk about this trip, i go on and on and on bc it just felt like a dream

it's the farthest i've ever been away from home, so the drive was really fun!! i may or may not have forced my mom to listen to the whole txt discography on the way there 🫣

but we stayed at a hotel rlly close to the venue so we wouldn't have to worry about traffic, and let me tell you,, the LINE 😭 it wrapped all the way around the theatre, i was in shock

but it was soso cool to see everyone's cute outfits and stuff, like i don't think i had ever seen a moa irl before so i was so overwhelmed by it, i wanna go back 😭

AT ONE POINT WE HEARD THEM REHEARSING FROM INSIDE and we all literally went "oh my god wait txt are actually real" and it was kind of an out-of-body experience

even waiting inside for the show to start, moa were so loud, it was so cool

like, yk how they play mvs for you while you wait for the show to start? MOA WERE SCREAMING ALREADY AND IT WAS SO FUN, i think that was when i realised how hyper that night was gonna be 💀

BUT WHEN THEY CAME OUT OH MY GODDD JUST THINKING ABT IT NOW GETS ME EXCITED ALL OVER AGAIN

i was scared that i wouldn't have a good view bc my seats were closer to the top but omg they were so close (bc the venue was small sadly ☹️)

the whole show was amazing, like txt are so interactive with their fans and it's so 🫶🏻🫶🏻 it just makes my heart so happy

it was sad to see beomgyu not feeling well tho ☹️ when he stayed backstage for the cysm performance, i was so worried abt him

it was so sweet when he came back out tho bc moa chanted and screamed for him

they eventually left but we did the encore chant for like 5 minutes, maybe even closer to 10 😭 AND EVENTUALLY THURSDAYS CHILD CAME ON AMD I WAS LIKE ?!?!?!?!?!?!? literally cannot even describe the emotion i felt

at that moment i figured they'd only be going around the first floor so i was kinda just watching the screen but then my mom nudged my shoulder and was like "LOOK"

so when i turned my head HYUKA WAS COMING UP THE STEPS AND I LITERALLY PANICKED SO HARD

i didn't know where to look bc then i turned around and saw yeonjun's blue hair bc he was running around the other aisle 😭😭 i could've fainted istg

at this point i'm rambling but OH WAIT NO I FORGOT SMTH ELSE

after the show ended, i went outside w my mom to wait for our uber and we suddenly heard screaming so i looked over and they were leaving the venue and getting in their tour bus or whatever it was 😭😭 i didn't walk over tho bc there were already a lot of other ppl there and i didn't want them to be overwhelmed

it doesn't even feel real, like that might have been the best day ever

but yes i am rambling at this point 💀💀 GOD IT WAS SO FUN AND IT WAS MY FIRST EVER KPOP CONCERT SO IT WAS ALL SO NEW 😭 i'm hoping i can see them again in 2023

#answered #why'd i write a whole novel again 😭

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flower-blooming-in-hell · 7 months

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i need to scream into the void for a minute here bc like. idk who i can tell this who will understand

just rambling abt mental health (ptsd + depression mainly) and transitioning

but just. !!!!!!!!! i just took my first dose of T!!!!!!!! i officially have my androgel at home! and i just applied it to my skin!! and im waiting for it to dry a lil bit more before i put anything on it (like the sweater im gonna wear to bed tonight)

and im like. i could honestly cry rn not in a bad way but in a "this has been coming for such a long time and im so excited for the future right now" kinda way

i think a reason ive always disliked myself is bc i hate being a girl honestly

my voice is too high and feminine, and my face has never looked like my own (though that could also have to do with the did but still)

im currently planning on ending up looking more androgynous atm, but honestly im on a low dose so i can see which changes i want and how far i want to go

tbh im thinkin i might just end up going all the way tho? not sure

or. all the way isnt the right words but yknow what i mean basically lol

its ? very interesting figuring myself out like this

like im not fully confident on who i am but i know what i want, and i dont want to be a girl. i never really have, and i knew that at a young age. and to a point i do identify with "girl/woman" but thats only bc i was raised one, so i have similar experiences to a lot of ppl who could be called girls/women

plus my mom is def bioessentialist (which i need to look up counterarguments for that tbh) and i love her to death but she just doesnt really understand ... a lot of things

plus yknow. trauma . ive never gotten to fully be myself - i have always been what other people want me to be. its... an experience and a learning curve, finally figuring out who and what i am.

tbh this feels similar to when i got published (technically. it was a competition thing and a prize was getting published alongside others) with the like ... sheer positive emotion and wanting to cry and shaking with the excitement of what ive achieved and get to have

its really weird, being this happy. i didnt think id ever get to feel this way, or that id be excited for the future or have plans for it like i do right now. ive always had the feeling of "theres more things i have to do, so im not finished here." but its never really come out as starkly as it is now.

im really, REALLY happy.

yknow, sometimes i look back on my abuser and think that we were made for each other, and that ill never achieve anything greater than having dated them

and i think this is the first time its actually fully setting in and really occuring to me that i can have a life without them. i dont need them. i never did, and i didn't truly gain anything from being so close to them for so long.

and while i will always be resentful for having to grow up so fast and that i spent so much time on them, and there are still a lot of times that i'm upset with myself for being so unfailingly kind and giving and resilient, times where i wish i broke and wasn't here anymore, i'm truly glad that i didn't and i'm still here.

and i'm happy that i'm not with them anymore.

and i'm glad that i got to have this. and that nobody i currently know will speak negatively about this to me.

sometimes it feels a lot like i move on from them in jagged bits and pieces of glass, like im tugging them out of my skin years after impact

this feels a lot less like that, and more like...

ever since they came into my life, ive felt like . corrupted, evil, gross, whore, etc compared to their bright white purity. like i could never measure up

i think this is the first time in years where ive actually felt pure, in any kind of way

excited for the future, happy, not focused on anyone but myself, confident.

ive always wanted a truly clean slate. and now i have that

i have a better idea of things i want now too, and ive been taking better care of myself as well, and i have so much more energy

i still wish they could see and that theyd be proud of me, instead of whatever the hell manipulative gaslighty bs theyd think up

but im not thinking about them that much either

this is something that i want, and the focus is rightfully on me

...its a slightly weird feeling, but i dont feel selfish for it, for once

#also on a trauma note:#they both really left me in the exact same way huh #they got tired of me and looked for an outside force to make me break up with them #bc they didnt want to do it themselves #cowards

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mybrokenveins3000 · 9 months

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I’m starting uni in just over 2 weeks too! How are you feeling about it? You probably get that question a lot, I know I do, I usually just say I’m excited but a bit nervous because explaining how I’m really feeling is too much haha. I’d love to hear how your really feeling about it though, I feel like it would be nice to hear someone else’s experience even if it’s just to remind anyone else going that we’re in the same boat :)

HELLO HI thank u for. talking to me, it's really nice to know i'm not alone out here on tumblr/the world :,) NOW get ready for an unnecessarily long + personal answer bc i love to talk 😀👍

ok so i'm in a bit of an interesting position because i took a gap year. sixth form burnt me out academically and emotionally so i knew i had to do something else for a bit to fall back in love with the idea of being student. AND I HAVE!! so like you, im immensely, immensely excited.

one advantage of doing this is that i got to watch my friends and how they got on in first year. i'm feeling quite confident because of how much i observed and learnt, how to avoid making mistakes/what mistakes i'm inevitably going to make. im quite lucky, im comforted by the fact that i already know a few people there bc i deferred, but im also able to make new friends. sorry, this answer is so niche and specific atm ANYWAYS I DIGRESS.

but like you, i'm so nervous. i cannot contain how genuinely terrified i am, the idea that MY WHOLE LIFE AS I KNOW IT is completely changing — im actually gonna shit myself. like this year i really got to a position where i really like myself, i feel on top of the world because i feel like i know myself and how my life looks like, WDYM THATS ALL GOING TO CHANGE. oh, the dread i feel when my parents with drive back home without me. i've really learnt to love so many things abt my pre-uni life as well, i wish i could set up myself up to not have my heart break, but that's inevitable and SCARY.

it's all so close as well, i think about what my life will look like in two/three weeks and i see nothing? in the least fatalistic way. it's both a comfort and a nightmare.

i'm moving from a small town to a big city (such a cliché), so of course i'm like. 🎶JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRLLL, LIVIN IN A LONELYY WORLDD🎶 excited, i feel like my life is expanding outward like a galaxy and that the next three years are a blank canvas for me to do whatever the fuck i want with, be whoever i want to be, study what i LOVE (english lit and film [ofc im doing film, reader in that fresher!ross oneshot is embarrassingly based off me]), take every opportunity that's available to me, do things i otherwise would never be able to do in this town. im so excited to meet new people and to talk (u can tell i like to talk 💀), it's just really nice to know i'm on the border of some of the best memories/most formative years of my life.

but im also grieving this idea of growing up. it will surely pain me to move all my stuff from my childhood bedroom to a new place, to not have my parents' cooking everyday, to come back an adult and be regarded to as an adult. ITS A REAL MIXED BAG. i dunno if any of this helps, im shitting it but i am so so so excited.

last thing i will say that might help anyone reading is that, hey, im a delusional girlie, i started a fanfic account of gods sake, so i tend to fantasise and fictionalise my life, have expectations on what my life or what this milestone should look like. eg. in uni i will find the love of my life and we will be together forever (exaggerated example but an example nonetheless) — im saying this more for me but the answer is to let go of expectations. operate on no plan. organise your academic life sure, but personal life wise, BE FREE! take every situation as it comes and don't give yourself a headache thinking too far ahead. from what i've heard and read, thats a big thing people in their twenties have to deal with, with some people having children, getting married, whilst others are job searching, still in school etc. ive only just turned 19 so that's far away from me atm, but it's just a good thing to remember that everyone's life is different, paced differently, and there's no fix structure anyone needs to follow.

that's about it, let me know your thoughts :,) sorry this was so long 💀 but thank you for asking that because i enjoyed answering 🫶🫶🫶 please know that you are not alone, if u need a friend during uni, theres a you-sized hole in my messages/asks inbox thats all for you.

#send me asks #anon ask #university #uni #mbv3000 rambles

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