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haveyouseenthisskeleton · 1 month

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All skeletons

I NEED TO KNOW WHICH ONES CAN PURR AND WHAT MAKES THEM PURR

All skeletons can purr, they have the physical capacity to do it. Do they want to though?

Undertale Sans - He usually has a very good control on his purring and it's extremely rare you hear it. One way to make him purr is by petting his head while he's deep asleep. But he's rarely deep asleep and all the other times he might just stare at you in confusion lol.

Undertale Papyrus - Too much praise. It's rare though as Papyrus never lacks praises, but sometimes too many praises are too much and he blushes, purring loudly. He hates it though.

Underswap Sans - It's extremely rare and only when he's so happy he loses complete control of himself. His purr is also very low so it's hard to tell he is purring.

Underswap Papyrus - He's a big purrer and he doesn't hide it. When he's happy, he likes to show it. His purr is not that loud so it's hard to tell when he is, but he is, often.

Underfell Sans - Only in private and when he feels really really safe with his S/O. He doesn't want anyone else to know he can purr, think of his reputation.

Underfell Papyrus - Even though he will act like that never happened, Edge can sometimes purr when you're flirting with him. It's never for long though as he's very self-conscious about it and will do all he can to hide it, including throwing you by the window.

Horrortale Sans - He's not purring, he's making tractor noises. Oak purrs for all sorts of things, very loudly. When he wants attention, when he gets attention, when he's happy when you looked his way for two seconds... He's not hiding it. He purrs so loud that sometimes his brother has to take you to another room to have peace lol.

Horrortale Papyrus - Even though he hates it, his body instinctively mimics his brother's purr sometimes lol. He has no control over it and it makes him curse every time because he doesn't know how to stop it???

Horrorfell Sans - Only when he worried and you start petting him. It helps him to calm down. He's not purring other than that.

Horrorfell Papyrus - When you praise him, it can happen. But he immediately starts to cough to hide it because, duh, of course, he doesn't purr what are you imagining?

Horrorswap Sans - It might happen once or twice when he feels very comfortable, but other than that, he's not purring. He has other ways of showing affection.

Horrorswap Papyrus - That's one of the last sounds he can make without his jaw so he will certainly use it as often as he can. It's his way of saying "I'm fine today". It can be more or less loud with what he's trying to say.

Swapfell Sans - He can sometimes purr in his sleep, but that's his max lol. Don't you ever call him out on this because he will bite you and fight you.

Swapfell Papyrus - He purrs when he's flirty. It makes his voice more cavernous and sexy. Well, he thinks at least. It's not working that much in reality lol.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He can purr but you'll never catch him alive. Maybe one time in a coma, but that's all lol.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He has a low purr for long cuddle sessions. It means he feels very safe and happy right now, which is actually not that hard.

Outertale Sans - It can happen when he feels a bit lonely. It helps to soothe himself. Moon has a bit of separation anxiety.

Outertale Papyrus - He's purring to make the children he's looking after sleep for their nap. It's working really well!

Dancetale Sans - Only when he's half asleep on your lap and you pet his head to make him sleep.

Dancetale Papyrus - He purrs rarely, but it can happen once or twice when he's really excited and happy. He's self-conscious about it though and quickly grasps a hold of himself so no one notices.

Dancefell Sans - He doesn't purr often, but not rarely either. He loves having attention and he's favorite things ever is the shower of kisses. He starts to purr hard when it happens.

Dancefell Papyrus - He purrs very rarely, mainly when he's having a very good time.

Farmtale Sans - He can purr. But you'll never catch him alive either. He's a very secretive guy. Maybe after a few years of deep relationships, but it will be a one-time experience.

Farmtale Papyrus - He purrs rarely, he's too shy to assume it. Usually, it happens for ten seconds and then he stops himself and blushes deeply. He might do it longer if he's really comfortable around you.

Mafiatale Sans - He has a spot on his neck that activates the purring. He hides it really well though so good luck to find it.

Mafiatale Papyrus - Nah, he's not going to show you. You can barely see any expression from him in the first place, so a purr? Never.

Mafiafell Sans - He only purrs when he's with his dogs. He loves his dogs. You're not sure if you should be offended or not.

Mafiafell Papyrus - He never purrs except in bed with his S/O while he's... You know.

Ink - He doesn't have enough focus to relax and purr, sorry. His brain is working 200% every second of his life so no time for purring.

Error - He only purrs when he's eating chocolate. He never eats chocolate in front of anyone so chances are you're never hearing him purr.

Disbelief Papyrus - Like Papyrus, intense praising is what send him into purring mode. He's resisting better to your attacks though, so it's harder to get him.

Killer Sans - He's purring when you're praising him. It's not that hard. He likes attention. He likes attention so much he won't let you go before two hours so you can continue praising him.

Dustale Sans - Uh... He purrs randomly, mostly at times he's staring at you intensely without blinking like he's going to hunt you down. It's not cute, it's scary.

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thewinchestah · 4 months

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"INTERMISSION" - ALASTOR X READER

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader

Tags: ,18+, Smut, NSFW, edging, BDSM, Alastor does what he wants, there's plot if you squint really hard, alastor in heat, breeding kink, Possesive! Alastor, Jealous!Alastor, Protective!Alastor, masturbation, I didn't proof read this, english isn't my first language, no beta we die like men here, etc etc etC

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Part I | Part 2 | Part 4

A/N: Hello,hello everyone! Again, thank you all so much for the amazing reception to "Good things come for those who wait". I'm truly touched by your words and praise. I never really tought my writing would see the light of day at this point, nor this much love. My biggest thanks to everyone who takes the time to leave a comment.

So, I'm a bit self concious about this piece. "Intermission" is supossed to be a light break from the previous two fics. A breath of fresh, sex smelling air as I write the next long chapter. (It's gonna be nasty). My intent with this fic was to make it kinda chaotic, kinda rushed like Alastor's mind would be as he masturbates himself at the thought of you and what you are doing to him.

I truly hope I can do your hopes and expectations for my writting justice. I really appreciate feedback on this one.

As always, my special thanks goe to my lovely friend @smallershorteranduncut, who always support my ideas. Te amo amiga <3

Taglist: @markster666 @jyoongim @stygianoir @pepperycookie @fraspent @aether-th3-enby @lady-valtieri . If the tags aren't working or you wanna be tagged, let me know.

PART I | PART II

Alastor considered himself a smart man, a cunning, self-sufficient, resourceful man. So, naturally, the irony of him being locked inside the bathroom, his cock in his hands while he tortures himself with thoughts of you made him frustrated at best, murderous at worst.

He hates everything about it, he hates to admit that his rut indeed makes him on edge and out of control, he hates to admit that before he met you the ways he dealt with his rut were… undignified. And he hates even more admitting that since he had you at his every whim, to fuck, to breed, to inflict the most depraved ways of torture his rut was becoming a pleasurable thing. All because of you, only because of you.

He had quite literally just fucked you so hard you passed out, his name a scream on your lips, so loud heaven might have heard it. Some part of Alastor wishes that heaven heard it, so they know they made a mistake, so they know they let one of the most sacred things to exist get down here. In hell, with him. Your heavenly body is his to do as he pleases, to break it, desecrate its holiness as he fucks you into submission, granting him a relief so pure, so all consuming that it shouldn’t even be allowed in hell. And they will never correct this mistake.

Some part of Alastor wishes no know never knew about how you always make a mess of yourself for him, how you gladly sprawl yourself open for him, eyes lustful and hopeful that if you let him take it out just a little more on you tonight he will send you over the edge with those two little words: good. girl.

And what a perfect good girl you were, doe eyes always seeking for his across any room, with adoration, with barely hidden lust, with love. Such a contrast when compared to his eyes, burning red from desire, anger, lack of empathy. Red condescending eyes filled with excitement about what he is going to do to you, what he is making you endure for him.

It doesn’t make it any easier on Alastor’s painfully hard cock that you are sleeping just a door away after a rough fuck, his seed still coating your thighs.

He flicks his wrist up and down his shaft, slowly.

Just as slow as how his cock stretched your tight cunt, inch by inch when he first took you. You weren’t nearly as wet as you should be for the first time taking his cock but you darling thing decided to break one of his rules. Your legs desperately spreading in a futile attempt to accommodate him, the delicious fear in your eyes as you realized what you’ve gotten yourself into, completely at his mercy, enduring the pain of being broken by his monster cock. The scream you let out when he buried himself to the hilt inside you, you liked it even when it was hurting, because the pain Alastor inflicted on you was ten times better than any pleasure your silly mortal lovers had ever given you.

The Radio Demon has a knuckle white grip on his cock now, even with hands as big as his, Alastor is having trouble fully closing his hand around the swollen member, his need to claim, to mark, to breed you strong as ever. Precum leaks for the engorged red tip and a hiss escapes his lips, the feeling of powerlessness consuming him in waves of a maddening, unprecedented carnality. The only thing the mighty demon overlord can do to mimic the divine feeling of your cunt being spreading the glossy drop around his overly sensitive tip, grip his cock even tighter as he strokes himself harder and faster, like a maniac.

How the mighty have fallen, he thinks to himself, he’s completely cunt struck by you.

Naturally, he’s gonna make you pay for it.

Alastor fucks himself fast and hard, trying to pic up the breakneck speed he usually does when he’s burying himself inside your heat, his grip sometimes painful. Exactly how the way he wants to be next time he fucks you.

The raw carnality consuming him is too overbearing, so overbearing he closes his burning red eyes as his brain process the severity of his situation: he found the perfect plaything, a deliciously submissive doe for him to breed until she’s numb with the feeling of his cock thrusting into her, completely filled up by his seed. It made his rut more bearable, it made his rut pleasurable, everytime he needed to scratch that primal need you’re always there, always ready to completely submit to him, to completely ruin yourself for him. Alastor honestly thought having you always there, as fun as it was to toy with you that way, would make things better. But it actually made it worse. Because now he knows.

Oh fuck, now he knows.

More pre cum spills, running through Alastor’s claws, dripping and staining his pants, making a mess under him. But it’s not enough, because it will never be enough. It’s not your mess coating his cock, running through his claws, it’s not the sinful invitation of your wetness staining his clothes.

Realization hits him like a curse.

His wrist flicks around his cock with a purpose: to find relief in pain.

You’re the only thing he wants. You are the only woman he will ever want like that. You are the only one he wants to see the obscene amount of his seed dripping from a perfectly swollen red cunt. You are the only one who could possibly deserve this. Now he knows what it is like to feel, to want someone. To have an irrevocable connection. No one in heaven, hell, and all the other possible realms of creation have the right to even think of you in that way. You are his and that’s final.

Next time he takes you he will make sure you know that.

Stroking himself erratically now, Alastor pictures you peacefully sleeping next door, luscious body sprawled on the bed like you don’t have a care in the world. He wants the first thing you feel when you open your eyes is fear. Good, you should feel scared. You should be very, very scared of what he is going to do to you. He hopes to relish in fear in your eyes as he enters your tight pussy, stretching your velvet walls apart in ways you’ve never felt before. Being obscenely broken to accommodate the girth of his rut swollen cock.

Fear, because you should be scared. Fear because you aren’t. Fear because as the realization that Alastor needs you terrifies him, the realization that you fucking love the pain of being a submissive slut to the Radio Demon will undo you, in unholy ways.

The scene of your ass on his lap, red with regret from his whipping and a symphony of your soft moans overrides his mind. You were sobbing from those little whips? He’s gonna double that. He’s gonna give you something to truly cry about. He’s gonna see you cum from the pain of being whipped into submission and his voice only. Because it is what you deserve for making him feel like this. Because it is what you want.

He’s close now, he can tell. He’s gonna cum soon. And it is not going to be inside your pussy. Alastor is enraged about that.

A clawed hand grips the wall besides him. He strokes himself at a merciless pace. Just as merciless as he is gonna be with you. He knows your body like the palm of the hand that is clawing the wall because of the maddening desire he has for you. He’s gonna lure you so you purposefully make a mistake. Just so you can give him the excuse to punish you into understanding that you are irrevocably his. He’s gonna take all of you as it is his right.

His cock twitches, claws scratch the posh wallpaper all the way down, he spills so much cum, all over his lap, his hand.

The sight of Alastor’s flustered face, in post orgasmic daze after mercilessly touching himself at the thought of you is something you definitely should see. But he will never let you.

Because now his mind is clear, he knows it and delights in acceptance. You are his, his mate, his love.

And he’s gonna take his sweet time torturing you into compliance and understanding. With pain, pleasure and all that is Alastor’s nature.

#atençao creuzeback vamos lá que vai começar a baixaria #alstor #hazbin hotel #hazbim hotel fic #alastor x reader #alastor x you #alastor x reader smut #the radio demon x you #the radio demon x reader #baixaria

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blitzyn · 1 year

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special attention pt. 3

dottore x m!reader

Request : HI- I noticed you have your requests open so I'm super excited! I love your writing sm. If possible, can I request like a continuation of your Dottore and fatui! Reader? Maybe one where the reader (sub & bottom) is assigned under another harbinger so all of his attention has been on this other harbinger instead of on Dottore (dom & top)? If not then that's okay! - Anonymous

Synopsis: Dottore has enough of his subpar Agents and decides to take you back.

part 1 | part 2

a/n -> i did it omg. super sorry ive been gone again! life was a bit busy but now that summer is coming up i might be able to write these a bit faster. im not super proud of this one since im kinda rusty rn but i hope this is at least decent! also, sorry for the sudden change in appearance!

wc -> 3.4k

cw -> anal fingering, anal sex, spit as lube, desk/office sex, choking, slight overstim, pretty vanilla overall ig, he's kinda possessive so there's that, not beta read

"Stupid, incompetent—" The Harbinger before the cowering Fatui subordinate cut himself off with an agitated sigh. It was quiet for a few moments, save for the agent's nervous breaths. Dottore wasn't one to get irritated very often, let alone angry. Perhaps the results produced by his previous agent skyrocketed his standards – or maybe this one was just dumber than an idiot.

"Please, help me comprehend how you lost not one," The Agent looked just about ready to sink into the floor. "not two, but six bases?"

The subordinate struggled to answer, mouth gaping open and closed as their hands shook in ill-concealed fear. Maybe in different circumstances, he would've given an amused quirk of his lips, though this was the last thing he needed right now. Instead, his lips curled into a scowl.

"W-We were... Overwhelmed..." they stammered pathetically.

"Clearly," Dottore said, impatiently tapping his finger on his knuckle. "I'm certain you're capable of speaking properly."

"We were ambushed by a horde of Mitachurls..." There was a beat of silence.

"And?"

They did not answer. "Don't tell me you lost all six because of mere Mitachurls."

Dottore's frown deepened. "That seems a bit coincidental, don't you think? If you're going to lie, do it well." He sighed. "Dismissed. I'll see to it you're placed back under basic training."

His voice held a monotonous tone to it that made the Agent fidget in place.

"It was a mistake—"

"Dismissed. I've already given you a chance to explain yourself. I have no need for your negligent incompetency."

He watched as the Agent hurried out of his office, and he had half the mind to yank them back inside when they slammed the door shut. He ground his teeth, irritated with the turn of events. He was going to need a new subordinate. Again.

He sighed. Not one of them managed to regain lost fortresses within a week, and he's been losing more than he thought possible. He, number 2 of the Harbingers, lost more than number 11. He was angry, above all else, but there was also the undeniable burn of humiliation at that fact.

It nearly surprised him how weak the soldiers sent to him were. Or perhaps they were always this way, and having you raised his expectations tenfold. He knew your strength and self-control were, by far, your best virtues, and it so happened to be what others were lacking. You were sent away to another Harbinger to keep the other Agents in check, and while he may have been the slightest bit proud to have managed to acquire an Agent that proved to be what everyone else needed, he was growing tired of having to wait for your return.

He shoved the articles that struck irritation through his chest into a drawer and stood from his chair. Quickly striding out of his office, he set out to search for you.

It didn't take him long to find you, though it was purely an accident. You were swiftly walking down the echoing hallways with a few papers and a relic that he didn't care to identify before he called your name.

"Agent [L.Name]," he spoke, his voice even.

"Yes, Lord Harbinger?" You paused in front of him after offering a slight bow. You fidgeted. "I apologize for the urgency, but Lady Arlecchino requests that I hurry with submitting my report."

"I am rescinding my permission to allow you to work under someone else." Even with your mask on, he was easily able to discern your surprise. The slight curl of your fingers was a dead giveaway, though, to any other person, it might've come off as idle shifting.

You were at a loss for what to do. You couldn't go against your current superior, but you also couldn't defy the words of one of the highest-ranking Harbingers that was still technically your boss.

"Lady Arlecchino said that I must hurry in delivering this item, and I'd rather not break her trust..." you trailed off as you observed him under your mask, something he was no doubt doing to you under his.

You nervously ground your teeth at the frown that crossed his face but remained steadfast with your words.

"Your loyalty is a virtue, but I'm afraid you've placed it upon the wrong person." He positioned his hands behind his back. "I will handle her when the time comes. Now, you respond to me."

"Yes, sir," you said after a moment. While you felt a tinge of relief at finally being able to work under him again, you felt a bit uncomfortable with leaving an assignment just as you were about to finish. But you knew you were going to have to set aside what you felt at the moment - you had a feeling something was off.

You thought about asking him what was wrong but decided against it with hopes that he'll bring it up himself. He wasn't the type to search for someone unless he needed them.

Your shoes tapped against the cold marble floors as you walked silently, following behind at a respectful distance. It didn't take long for you to reach his office, neither of you wasting time to get in.

"During your absence, many others have arrived to take your place. None of them have managed to produce quality or successful reports." He handed you a few papers for you to skim through. Without missing a beat, you did what was wordlessly told and blinked slowly underneath your mask. How could someone possibly fuck up this bad?

You startled a bit when you felt a hand rest on your hip, but maintained your usual demeanor.

"Would you like me to train the new recruits? Starting from there prevents more of this from happening," you questioned, curiously peering at him over your shoulder. "Or do you suggest otherwise?"

Dottore hummed. "I suggest that you assist me in relieving some of the irritation the others have caused."

You swallowed as anticipation bubbled in your chest. "Of course, my Lord."

"Mask." Was all he said, voice demanding and stern.

You wordlessly nodded, raising your hand to remove your mask and hood. There was a prickling sensation on the side of your face where his gaze bore into you, studying every twitch of your muscles. You could feel your skin grow hot, and with the way the corners of his lips slightly raised, he could see it, too.

Your nerves were abuzz with excitement, pooling in your gut that spread outwards towards your fingertips. You resisted the urge to rub your thighs together for some semblance of relief, clenching your jaw tightly.

"Already? Were you anticipating this from the start?" he mused, dragging his fingertips across your crotch. "How needy."

He squeezed lightly before abandoning the area, placing a hand on your chest to slip it underneath your thick coat, silently urging you to take it off. You did without complaint, finding the fur inside overbearing. You tried to toss it on the floor as neatly as you could before his hands found themselves beneath your shirt, gliding his cold, gloved palms over your scalding skin.

As quickly as they came, they left, only to push you down onto his desk. Your breath was caught in your throat, curling your fingers into a fist as you reveled in how he dragged his hands down your body to curl his fingers underneath the waistband of your pants. He wasted no time in sliding your pants off, swiftly pressing a palm against your aching cock.

You sighed at the touch, shifting your hips forward in search of relief. He gently squeezed and stroked you through your boxers with a quiet, condescending laugh.

He pinned you to the desk by the top of your back and began grinding against your ass, leisurely thrusting while observing the way your hands twitched to stimulate yourself even further.

With an amused smile, he suddenly pulled away completely. You shivered at the absence of his body heat, peering over your shoulder to send him a questioning look.

"I must thank you for your assistance," he said, rounding the corner of his desk. "I feel quite relaxed, now."

"I-Wh..." you stammered, trying to peer through his mask despite the lack of eyes.

"What's the matter? I'm afraid you need to speak up if you want me to understand you." He crossed his arms in a faux contemplative manner. Your face burned, unable to properly look at him.

"Oh, don't get shy on me now," he spoke with a mocking tone in his voice, standing directly across from you as he grabbed you by your chin. It was a firm hold, and you were unlikely to be able to free yourself from him - not that you wanted to, anyway. "It's a simple request. Tell me what you want."

Your mouth opened and closed pitifully before you finally responded, "I want you to keep touching me."

"See? That wasn't so difficult, now was it?" His grin widened a fraction and he returned to his place behind you. He enjoyed the way you were so easily reduced into a sheepish mess by just a few of his touches that you were sure were laced with some type of drug.

He removed his gloves and snaked one of his hands up your throat to your mouth, wordlessly commanding you to suck on his fingers. You readily complied and swirled your tongue around his skin which tasted faintly of chemicals and salt. Your heart pounded in your chest when he pushed them deeper, chest rising and falling in shallow intervals. You wrapped your lips around them and sucked, treating them as if they were his cock (which you secretly craved, but you supposed it wasn't much of a secret anymore).

Dottore could feel heat rising in his abdomen the longer he held them in your mouth, pleased with your eagerness.

A string of saliva connected you to him when he pulled away, his free hand sliding your underwear down your legs. He prodded your hole for a few agonizing moments just to listen to your hitching breaths before he finally inserted them inside you. His thick fingers provided a slight burn, but it quickly morphed into arousal.

He moved at a leisurely pace, enjoying your increasing impatience as you tried dutifully to keep your desperation at bay. He made sure to avoid your prostate to leave you needy for more, pressing against areas close to where you wanted him. You let out frustrated sighs but refused to voice out your complaints, letting him follow his own pace.

It was amusing to see you try hard to maintain your slipping composure, but he knew that soon enough, it would collapse completely.

You tensed when he removed his fingers from you, anticipating the familiar feeling of his cockhead against your hole, but it never came.

"You know, I think I may have had a change of heart," he said with a thoughtful tone. "Perhaps you should report to Arlecchino after all."

"Wait-" you pleaded, voice high and frantic. "S-surely you're not serious?"

"Oh? What makes you think that?"

You swallowed hard. Dottore is unpredictable - that much you learned. For all you know, he could be entirely sincere and you'd look like a fool, but a part of you believes that he's only messing with you. Getting you flustered was often a part of his intentions when he was around you, so it wasn't impossible.

"Because you do not back away from your plans when they're already set, regardless of how you think it may turn out."

"And might you enlighten me in what you think said plans are?"

You swallowed nervously as quiet words spilled from your lips. "To fuck me..."

There was a moment of agonizing silence (for you, at least) before a smile overtook his features. "I'm flattered you know me so well."

You bit your lip in anticipation when you heard the rustle of fabric behind you. You could hardly repress a shudder when you listened to him spit on his cock before pressing himself against your hole, holding your waist tightly with one hand while the other guided him inside.

You groaned at the burning sensation from the lack of preparation he provided you. Your dick ached to be touched, but you resisted and relished in the pain of having to wait.

"Fuck," Dottore hissed, fighting valiantly to keep himself from shoving his cock inside you. "You're tighter than the last time I fucked you."

"Just for you," your words were breathy, your rigid Agent persona slipping away by the minute. It almost made him laugh at how easy it was to break you down like this.

"For me?" he cooed, cock throbbing. "You poor thing. You had to wait so long just to finally have me fuck you, didn't you?"

You nodded, heavy pants exiting your lips. You peered at him from over your shoulder, eyes wide and watery; there was no calm Fatuus to be seen, and he found that he adored this side of you. He could hardly suppress a smile, instead focusing on how you tightened so pleasurably around him.

"It's almost hard to believe you haven't been whoring yourself out this entire time," he muttered, partially to you. "But I know that only I am able to satisfy you like this. Or am I wrong?"

He didn't expect an answer from you - not when you could hardly keep yourself standing. He curled his fingers in your hair and yanked, forcing you to look at him. Your incoherence wasn't going to stop him from trying.

"Well?"

"N-No... only you." Your cock throbbed.

"Thought so."

He let you go in favor of holding your hips firmly, pulling out briefly to slam himself back in. The sting of him stretching you out paired deliciously with the pleasure of his cockhead against your prostate, gradually speeding up until you had to cover your mouth to prevent your moans from escaping the office.

"None of that," Dottore muttered, pulling your arm away from your face. "Let them hear. Let them know you're not for the taking any longer."

Skin slapping skin echoed in the dimly lit room, accompanied by your noises that left no room for imagination. He pulled you by the waist and wrist, tugging you onto his cock as he thrusted forward.

Your dick produced precum that dripped into the cold, marble floor, aching to be touched. The need for release burned hotter in your abdomen, and you couldn't stop yourself from subconsciously moving your hips to fuck yourself onto him.

He paused for a moment to allow you to take a brief moment of control. A condescending smile overtook his features before he regained his previous pace, driving himself forward hard enough to sting. The pain only served to enhance the ecstasy that was brought upon you, lust pooling in the pit of your stomach.

It took a great deal of restraint to prevent yourself from reaching down and jerking yourself off, your nails creating thin indents on the firm wood of the desk. He could feel you tighten around him considerably and he nearly groaned, but let out a heavy sigh through his nose instead.

Snaking one hand up your throat, he pulled you to his chest and squeezed. You instinctively wrapped your fingers around his wrist but made no attempt to pull him away. He used his other hand to tightly grasp the base of your cock, interrupting your incoming orgasm.

You let your eyes flutter shut as drool escaped the corners of your lips, too hazy-minded to remember to swallow. Raspy breaths left your throat as your ears gradually began to ring, chest tightening with a need for air, but the deprivation only sent an addicting heat through your body.

You nearly choked on your saliva when his grip went lax, not entirely moving away, but enough to let you breathe. It was hard to inhale properly when he fucked the breath out of you, but you knew that that was the best part.

"Oh, fuck, pl-please," you babble, voice raspy.

"Please what?" Dottore spoke beside your ear. "I'm not a mind reader."

He subtly angled himself and targeted your prostate to hinder your words, a faint smile lifting his face at every stutter and cry you produced. You weakly tugged on his wrist in a vain attempt to tell him what you wanted, but he remained steadfast on hearing it from your lips.

"You can use your words, can't you?" He moved his hand from your neck to begin stroking your cock, the tip flushing an angry red.

"G-God, please-" you stammered before crying out, "Please let me cum!"

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" He relished in your pained groan when he briefly tightened his grip before releasing you, quickly guiding you to your orgasm with every flick of his wrist.

Electricity shot down your spine and pooled in your stomach as soon as he let go, catching you off guard. Your fingernails dug into his glove as you nearly curled into yourself, legs trembling so intensely it was a miracle you managed to hold yourself up thus far.

Your chest quickly heaved up and down. "W-Wait-"

"Quiet," Dottore shushed you. "You wanted this. Don't go back on your word."

You focused on his voice, noticing how steady and calm he sounded compared to your desperate pleas for release. A feeling of chagrin filled your chest, making an effort to control your noises, but your struggle was futile.

Tears dotted your lashes when the coil within your abdomen tightened until it finally snapped, the heat of your orgasm washing over you in powerful surges. You arched your back as your jaw went slack in a silent scream. Your cum spurt out of your cock and landed on the marble floor in a small puddle.

"I should do that more, shouldn't I?" Dottore said with a sharp-toothed grin. He wrapped his free arm around your waist when your quivering legs were unable to support your weight any longer, leaning your top half back on the desk.

You'd nod along with him if you were capable of comprehending his words, but the rhythmic pulses of burning ecstasy prevented you from replying - not that he minded. His dick pressed against your prostate despite you having just orgasmed, his relentless pace not once slowing down. The only sign of exertion he offered you was his labored breaths and occasional grunt, but even those were quiet.

You could feel his cock throb in a way that let you know he was close. You managed to strengthen your legs and started fucking yourself onto him, prompting him to straighten himself and watch.

"You just can't help yourself, can you?" he teased, hands resting on your hips. He leaned his head back and let out a satisfied groan that sent electricity shooting down your spine.

His fingertips gradually began to dig into your skin until he held you hard enough to bruise. He allowed you this semblance of control for a few more moments before yanking your hips to him with a few final thrusts, stilling as you shuddered at the feel of his cum coating your insides.

Your legs nearly went limp again, but you managed to keep yourself standing - albeit with an embarrassing amount of effort. You could hear his deep breaths behind you as both of you steeped in the silent afterglow. You suppressed a flinch when he decided to pull out, sighing at the uncomfortable emptiness it left.

You swiftly dressed yourself when you heard quiet shuffling, pulling out a handkerchief to clean your cum off the floor.

"Now, then," Dottore said as soon as you stood upright. "You have much to do since your absence. It'd be best if you began right away."

You nodded, slipping your mask back on your face.

"I don't care how you do it, I only want the results. Understood?"

"Of course." Your voice was back to its neutral tone, making the corner of the Harbinger's lips twitch upwards. It amused him how you responded so professionally despite him having fucked you not moments before. With a final nod, you left his office.

He turned to his desk once more, remembering the papers that he unceremoniously shoved inside the drawers. He sighed. It was back to work.

#genshin impact smut #male reader insert #reader smut #reader #genshin smut #male reader smut #male reader #reader insert #sub reader #sub male reader #dottore x male reader #dottore x reader #dottore x reader smut #genshin x reader

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galene-gothic · 9 months

Text

𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖨 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋 ?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ PAID SERVICES

Today we'll take a look at:

- how has the patriarchy affected you?

- what makes you such a worthy and respectable person?

- what were you made for?

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ How has the patriarchy affected you ? ꒱

I think we're all aware of this but women and men function differently due to their hormonal cycles that are different. Yes, women are really capable of being hard workers and go getters, however, women burn out much easier at some point in the month. The patriarchal system has completely ignored that fact and even if women are dying from period pain, we're still supposed to work because otherwise we're deemed as 'weak' or 'lazy'. However, this has caused many women, including you to become very restless. You're constantly on the go and tend to burn yourself out. The patriarchy controls your mind a bit more than that of an average person's. You find yourself changing your mind and words regarding things very often, when engaging in conversations with men because you really value their validation (whether you're aware of it or not). Some of you have only guy friends because 'girls are too much drama'. While, it's not possible to be a 100% self aware.

You lack self awareness in general. You haven't improved yourself enough in terms of morals and character. Spiritually and emotionally, you're lacking. Due to how hard you seem to work, you might have accomplished a lot or have a lot of money but you're still very poor in terms of personal character. You've also become quite a thrill chaser, some of you do not understand how hook-up culture, friends with benefits, uncommitted relationships, situationships, etc. only benefit men. You also have a sense of hyper independence. You might end up providing for or spoiling men who you are not in committed relationship with you just because they make you feel excited but do not take any money from them because of that sense of hyper independence, just for them to disappoint you later and you feeling completely drained out. Some of you have fallen victim to trying to be a certain way (wife material) just to attract men, just to lose yourself in the end. Could be a temporary energy but is definitely driven by patriarchy.

꒰ What makes you a worthy and respectable person ? ꒱

You're at the end of a cycle. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't have any friends because you seem to have gone through major and multiple disappointments, betrayals, heartbreaks and endings in the past one and a half year. Even though, you've lost your dignity and reputation, people tried to throw dirt on your name (probably because you made a few mistakes), you're building yourself back up. One thing about you is that even though you tend to completely burn yourself out, you know how to give yourself time to heal and recover. It's your time to start again, a fresh slate, a whole different book but you're making the most out of it. You know that you've hit the absolute low and now the only way is up. You have had really traumatising experiences at school, college or university. I'm getting that you have a lot of potential to grow. This reading is supposed to remind you that the end was not just the end, it was also a new beginning. Some of you might've considered throwing everything away, if you know what I'm suggesting but you chose to continue living, I'm really proud of you.

You're able to keep going even though there are times when you feel really alone, probably because you actually are. You lack the presence of supportive people in your life or did at some point of time and have gone through really hard times. Even though, you have the tendency to drown in your sadness, one thing you do know how to do is to look within yourself for answers, you tend to have epiphanies, you look into the past in order to move forward with a proper slate, you try to make sure you have learnt all the lessons in order to move forward. You've had a lot of selfish people around you who you gave a lot to. Those people seem to have pushed you under busses and trains though (metaphorically). However, you're able to take good care of yourself and know how to do well by yourself. You're learning how to put yourself first. You cannot be put into a box, you have different aspects of yourself that you tap into when necessary. You're also able to accept people for who they truly are, literally all aspects and sides of them. You have a thirst for knowledge but because of how you're constantly on the go, you might not have time to educate yourself which is causing you to feel untrue to yourself.

꒰ What were you made for ? ꒱

You were made for being original. One of the reasons why you are not in the best place is because of how you try to deny your true spirit and fit in instead or atleast tried. No one has ever understood you and you might have been considered to be an outcast for being different, so, it might be difficult but that's where you'll find true happiness. You're meant to change your views to be a bit taboo but still human and preach it to others, not through words but through actions. You're here to be understanding towards those who are similar to you. You're different from the majority and that's who you're supposed to be. The energy that I'm getting is that you have people around you who are misogynistic, racist, religious to the point of hatred towards others, etc. so unintentionally, you end up denying your own morals in order to fit in with them.

You were meant to be open minded and listen to different opinions. You were meant to be rebellious, and break the toxic cycle of oppression masked as 'traditions'. You were made to question things and try to cause necessary changes instead of being like "it is what it is" or "atleast, women don't have it as bad as in the '80s." There's a chance that you're an activist, freedom fighter or have a similar energy. You're supposed to challenge power and authority in order to help the weaker ones. You were here to create a better earth. If you're one of the people who forces your religious beliefs onto others and hates on people with a different religion, this pile is not for you or atleast you're supposed to outgrow that energy. I'd be surprised if you guys even had a religion, to be honest. You were here to fight for freedom and break past restrictions, it likely started with your childhood home or family, maybe you had to fight in order to be a person of your own.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ How has the patriarchy affected you ? ꒱

You tend to have ingenuine platonic relationships with girls. It's like, both of you dislike each other and you both know you dislike each other but act like you do not dislike each other to each other's faces, even though you both know that the other knows that you kind of dislike them. People who hate you tend to comment "so gorgeous" to your posts and you've been guilty of doing the same thing in the past too. If you still do it, please grow out of it. You have a hard time trusting girls, tend to keep secrets and are really private which causes girls to be cautious of you. You take responsibility for men's shit and believe you need to earn worthiness in other people's lives. You might have a belief that you'll only be worthy if you earn a certain amount of money or look a certain way. You care about other people's emotions, including the men surrounding you but even when they do not give a shit about your feelings, you still feel guilty.

I'm getting you being like "but I don't want to hurt him" even though he made you sleep on the couch in your own house, you paid for every date, he did/said things to break you down and continued entertaining other people. You tend to neglect one aspect of your life for another and even though I'm not being able to pinpoint how, it is a product of patriarchy. Either, you already have or need to decenter men because it seems to be ruining your life. You've learnt how to stay quiet and hold back especially when it comes to men because they could do potentially dangerous things to you or because you center them and are too scared to speak out. You might come from an area where the difference in treatment between men and women is really evident, due to which you might've not gotten the same opportunities as men or have seen older women not getting the same opportunities as men. You tend to question yourself a lot, hesitate, doubt your skills and worthiness, etc. My advice is to decenter men and build yourself instead.

꒰ What makes you a worthy and respectable person ? ꒱

You're going through an internal transformation and are kind of having an existential crisis. You question your beliefs and values. You might have a tendency to cling onto the past though. However, you're releasing and starting fresh. I think you're starting to understand the importance of a stable foundation at this point of time. Mentally, you tend to be scared of changes but are starting to learn how to let go. You're also able to put your ego aside in order to be true with and to yourself. You might've recently gotten out of a toxic and abusive relationship or friendship, it doesn't have to be physically abusive but they did use you for their own personal reasons while neglecting you as a person. You're finally able to realise what doesn't serve you and release those things and people. You are also learning how to accept yourself and not believe that you're a bad person just because of a few mistakes that you made. You're learning how to be independent and gain control over your life.

You have a really selfless side that was misused, however, you're learning how to not shame yourself over it. You're also able to avoid distractions, differentiate between what's good and what's not, and move forward with your life. You're self controlled and in touch with the darker aspects of yourself, so many of you are doing shadow work or should start doing it, very beneficial for you. You respect other people's differences. You're realising that love is supposed to be mutual and you deserve to receive the love that you give out to others. You're also very loyal once you trust or love people enough. You value deep connections and understand that being deeply loved is always better than being widely liked. You don't treat uglier or foreign people in a bad way, you respect everyone as long as they respect you and you're able to show respect. You're good at bonding with people and expressing love to others, this might've caused you to be victimised and used in the past but you're learning how to turn it into a strength.

꒰ What were you made for ? ꒱

You likely need a lot of alone time. You were made for a peaceful life and also to provide that space for others. You were made to teach others that they are allowed to take care of themself in order to heal. Some of you could like or study psychology. You were made to contemplate life and grow as a person. Meditating could make you feel closer to yourself. You'll likely have periods in your life where you'll be popular and well liked until you fall and are looked down on, you're supposed to make the most out of those moments. You might be power and fame hungry actually, your true sense of happiness will come only when you understand that developing your character is better than chasing fame. You'll have to learn how to feel successful on the inside.

You might achieve success later in life or atleast when you've learnt how to not function on ego, when you let go of arrogance. You're supposed to build confidence, character and self esteem first, otherwise, no matter how successful you'll get, it'll fall apart. You'll have a lot of realisations and private victories. Also, you'll have to learn how to not go broke while trying to look rich. You'll have a lot of unrequited love experiences, I wouldn't be shocked if you've already undergone a few of them. You're supposed to learn how to not pass blame and be a little less reasonable with toxic people. You'll learn so much through love, heartbreaks and experiences. Most of your heartbreaks will be through situationships. You'll have to go through extremes of personality and situations in order to learn and help people younger than you.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ How has the patriarchy affected you ? ꒱

This pile at some point has been guilty of being proud about dating someone popular or something along those lines, if not, you pretend to be happy and content in order to make other women jealous, you might not be aware of it but if you deeply reflect, you'll find this to be true. You understand how being in touch with the correct or well reputed men will increase your value in other women's eyes. If not, other women try to do that to you. Regardless of whether you know it or not, you tend to see other women as competition and vice versa. You know how to make the most out of patriarchy. You're a hardworker and run after success. I feel like patriarchy has caused you to hate men because you have learnt a lot and understood how it works and how most men are incapable of empathising with stuff.

You might show an attitude to men or not give them the time of the day, atleast most men. The way you seem to be living life is with a "when men do it, it's alright but when I do it, it's not? fuck it!" mindset. You love seeing women putting men to their place, it gives you an odd satisfaction. There have been times when misogyny and men have made you feel really powerless and incapable. You were also mentally and emotionally all over the place. You might come from a place where men are babied but really young girl children are expected to be all responsible. I feel like men around you act like they know more, they're smarter when in reality, you've always had to dumb yourself in order to make them feel better about themself. I'm sorry but that's all that I'm getting here. I hope this energy is temporary because while patriarchy sucks, there are good men around !!

꒰ What makes you a worthy and respectable person ? ꒱

You're able to accept that people have different beliefs (as long as they have good morals) and will have different life journeys. You naturally seem to attract a lot of envy if I'm honest. You know how to work in a team despite fights and arguments. At this point, you also tend to avoid unnecessary fights and competitions. You don't enjoy conflict. You're able to make decisions for yourself and know how to come to a middle ground with people. You tend to go through an internal conflict whenever you do something wrong. You're sensitive to small details but that's because of your detail oriented eyes. You try your best to organise your thoughts, and know how and when to use intellect against people. You're quite demanding. You should be careful with words and more expressive, there are people who tend to be worried about you because they care about you. You guys have pretty straight forward yet refined speech.

You could be seen as someone unkind but that doesn't stop you from trying to make wise decisions. You've gotten rid of a victim mindset and have developed a winner mindset instead. You have realisations and breakthroughs that you use in order to become a better person. You're really resilient and try to develop yourself as a person. You're honest and very clear when communicating. You should learn how to plan things and write them down though. You're very intelligent and witty. You have a vision for the future and have great imagination. Emotionally, you try to express your positive feelings truthfully. Success finds you everywhere because of your mindset, you know how to take lessons and move forward. I think you have the tendency to come off cold though, almost as if you're speaking without emotions but only because you're really honest instead of feeding into delusions. You're able to overcome any obstacle thrown your way, especially if it affects you emotionally. Truly, proud of you guys, continue going !!

꒰ What were you made for ? ꒱

You were made for happiness. You are supposed to learn how to build things for yourself and appreciate what you have. You're supposed to be wise and self disciplined, and teach the same things to younger girls. You're supposed to help others navigate life through your actions and also your words when they come to you asking for advice. You were born to live a comfortable life so naturally I don't think you tolerate bullshit as much as the last two piles. You are meant to have more than enough of everything and help others with it. You're supposed to be successful while doing exactly what it is that you wish to do. At some point, you're supposed to lack confidence and build it gradually. You were too naive in the past which caused you a lot of trouble. You're supposed to build a comfort zone for yourself after stepping out of your previous one.

You're supposed to learn how to not be reckless but also how to not lose opportunities while playing safe. You're supposed to teach how to have fun to young girls who had to grow up too fast. You're supposed to learn how to not cry over spilt milk. One emotion that you seem to have felt throughout your life is guilt, you are here to learn how to help people through tough experiences. You're supposed to experience negative feelings and learn how to deal with them and find happiness. You're also supposed to give hope to others is what I'm getting. You're supposed to teach others how to think about the worst in order to stay realistic while still not expect it or let it worry you too much. You'll see a lot of betrayals in this lifetime, even if it's not you experiencing them first hand. You're supposed to learn how to trust in love again.

#pac #pac reading #intuitive readings #pick a deck #pick a card #pick a picture #astro observations #pick a gif #pick a photo #astrovations #astro notes #pick a pile reading

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farfromstrange · 1 year

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just read ‘long distance’ and i was wondering if you could serve pain? jen walters was mentioned and reader exists, that means angst and maybe cheating (or even a hint of it?) please??? i love your fluff and smut pieces. also the angst (but i dont dwell too much since self harming is better left in the past for me) but i really like how you deliver pain. i hope this gets chosen and written, but no pressure ofc. thank you and may the spirit of creativity live within you.

Hi, nonnie! I'm sorry you had to wait so long. I wasn't sure if you wanted a part 2 or an entirely new fic, so I kind of used part of what I already mentioned in Long Distance and continued in this fic. I didn't do full-on cheating, but it's still angst, and well... there is no comfort. I hope you like it!

Burn | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: Matt comes home after his work trip and tells you something that changes your life forever.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of Smut, cheating

Word Count: 2.7k

You’re not sure what happened.

Matt spent a few weeks in Los Angeles to work on a case that would bring in some money. You didn’t mind; he does it sometimes. Since he, Foggy, and Karen opened the doors of their law firm again, work trips between the three have become more frequent. They’re making money now, and you would always support it.

You have also never been insecure about your relationship with him before. You and Matt have been together for years, even before the Blip, and you held onto each other when all of your friends disappeared. You thought you were happy. His job is going well; you are happy and don’t have to live paycheck by paycheck anymore. At least you thought so.

While he was away, you talked over the phone regularly. He always seemed so relieved to hear your voice. You often talked for hours, and you texted him sweet nothings during the day. He told you he appreciated it.

Every other night, you would retreat to your bedroom and he would guide you to orgasm after orgasm with the sound of his voice, and you would do the same. The toy he got you before he left for LA came in handy more than once since you could be connected over the distance now and still somehow control each other’s pleasure.

When he texted you he would be home earlier than expected, you were so excited, you took the day off, put on your best lingerie, and cooked dinner. You thought he would be happy to be with you again; he told you how much he missed you. He compared it very dramatically to a lack of air and that you were his oxygen, and you remember laughing at him. You have never loved a man as much as you love Matt Murdock, so it is only natural for you to get excited, right?

You talked about marriage before, maybe even kids. You planned a future together. Deep down, you’ve been waiting for him to pop the question. Foggy is an idiot and he let something slip one day, and ever since you have been vigilant. You thought that he might finally ask you after coming home from his trip.

You thought. That seemed to be the common denominator. You always just believe and hope for the best; in the end, things don’t turn out how you want them to.

You’re really not sure what happened, but something did happen because when Matt opens the door, he’s not even smiling at you.

“Welcome back!” you greet him with the brightest smile you can offer. Maybe he’s just tired.

But you know him and you know the difference between exhaustion and guilt; the man before you may be tired, but he is also struggling with the shame he inflicted upon himself, and it is not his duty as Daredevil this time.

He drops his bag by the door. You lean in for a kiss. “How was your flight?” you ask.

You’re in denial. Something happened, but you don’t want to ruin it. You don’t want to ruin this. You keep telling yourself it’s going to be okay, but you just don’t know what happened to get you here–

He evades your lips, simply hugging you briefly before answering, “Good.”

Your body trembles. “Matt.”

“What?”

“What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean, what’s wrong?” he retorts. He moves to the kitchen and grabs himself a bottle of beer. “I’m just tired.”

You frown. “Is that why you can’t even look at me?” you ask.

“Don’t be ridiculous, sweetheart–” the usually so endearing nickname sounds so bitter now. “You know I can’t see,” he says.

“You know what I mean.” You cross your arms. “Something isn’t right.”

His expression is serious, and it sends a wave of unease crashing over you. You try to push away the worry that gnaws at your insides, but it's hard to ignore the change in his demeanor.

He avoids your gaze, his eyes flickering around the room as if searching for something, or perhaps, avoiding something. Silence hangs heavy in the air, stretching the seconds into eternity.

That’s when you know that something happened, and it affects you because if it didn’t, he wouldn’t be so distant toward you. You taught him to always be open with you about his struggles, and he has managed to learn how to voice his needs, so it confuses you when he does neither and treats you more like a stranger than his girlfriend.

There was only one time in your relationship he acted this way and that was the day Elektra stepped back into his life, and with it, yours.

Your stomach churns. The hope you had built up crumbles, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. “What happened?” you urge again.

He leans against the kitchen counter, turning his head away from you. Tears are glistening in his eyes behind his red glasses.

“Matthew, please,” you beg. “Talk to me. Tell me!”

The room feels heavy with tension. His shoulders slump, and for a moment, it seems like he's about to break, to let the words spill forth. But just as quickly, he straightens his posture and averts his gaze.

"I can't," he whispers. "I can't tell you."

You step forward, but he shies away as if being close to you is somehow toxic. It breaks your heart. He looks disgusted, and you wonder if it's because of you. Maybe you used the wrong body wash, but that would elicit a different reaction. You didn't do anything differently today, you're simply excited, that's all there is, but as you look at him, he seems to be the exact opposite. Stoic, empty, cold...

“We've always been honest with each other, Matt," you say, still walking up to him even as he recoils. "I cooked dinner for you, took a shower, got dressed... and now you won't even fucking try and look at me. You've been gone for weeks! Please, just... I deserve to know what's going on." You reach for him, but this time, he moves away wholly.

The distance between you becomes a void that you could easily slip in and drown. His body language is a storm, causing the waves to crash into the shore and choke up with their cruel claws.

His grip tightens around the neck of the beer bottle, his knuckles turning white. You can see the faintest scars; you know he brought his suit with him, you just didn't think he would actually use it. "You deserve better," he says, more to himself than to you. There is the guilt you have been waiting for, but it still affects you because he is talking about you.

Your heart skips a beat. You have had this conversation many times in the past. "Better?" you ask. "Matt, what are you talking about? I don't want better, I want you." You laugh in disbelief, but he doesn't even smile. He's not trying to hide how much pain he is from the weight of his guilt, and it makes you scared for what's about to come.

His gaze flickers toward you, and his eyes reflect myriad emotions—sadness, regret, and something else you can't quite place. "You shouldn't want me," he loathes himself, “Not after... not after everything."

"What?" You place a hand on his arm, forcing him to turn to you. "I love you," you say.

He shakes his head. He never shakes his head when you tell him you love him. It's like he's telling you the opposite, that you shouldn't love him or that he doesn't feel the same for you anymore; the feelings swirling in your chest are confusing, and you just don't understand. Your mind races, trying to connect the dots, desperate to make sense of his cryptic words.

His grip on the bottle loosens, and he takes a shaky breath. "I- I fucked up."

Your heart sinks. The pain you had sensed, the distance between you, it all falls into place. The parallel between his behavior now and back when Elektra almost tore you apart. The pieces of the puzzle form a picture you never wanted to see find their way together.

"Did you... cheat on me?" you ask, the words catching in your throat. The mere thought feels like a knife twisting in your chest, but you don't cry, you simply stare at him, waiting for any kind of reaction.

It's the thought you loathe the most, but you seem to hit the nail right on the head.

Matt's silence is confirmation enough. "Oh God," you breathe.

“It was just a kiss,” he whispers.

“A– you kissed someone else?”

“Yeah.”

“Walters?”

He takes a shaky sip of his drink.

“Oh, my God, Matthew!” The cork to your heart pops and you start bleeding out, it seems. “What?” you ask. “Please, tell me you’re just messing with me. Please!” You want to get on your knees and pray to God that he’s lying, but he’s so quiet and his face is so stern, you can’t help but believe him.

The one thing he promised you he would never do, he did. And that is something you once told him that if he ever did it, you wouldn’t be able to forgive him.

The foundation of trust you had built with Matt feels shattered, and you struggle to comprehend how he could break his promise to you. Emotions swirl within you, colliding with one another, leaving you feeling lost and vulnerable.

He grabs your hand suddenly when you try to put some distance between you to sort your thoughts, his glasses now discarded, and he looks past you with so much pain in his eyes, you can feel your own tears near. He whispers your name.

“No,” you say. “I can’t–”

“Please, listen to me. I can explain,” Matt says. “I can–”

“You can’t! You promised… I– wasn’t I good enough for you? What happened, Matthew? What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing! You did nothing wrong, sweetheart. Please, it was a stupid mistake.”

“A mistake?”

He tugs at your arm again. When you don’t seem to budge, he sinks to his knees. Your throat tightens, your heart shattering on the floor next to him. He has torn it out with his bare hands, squeezed it too hard and now you’re nothing more than an empty shell, your very essence broken on the living room floor.

“Please,” he begs. His hands rest on your hips and his unfocused eyes try to search for yours.

The fact he only now thinks he has to fight for you instead of coming clear right away makes you angry, not just sad. You turned your back and that’s what prompted him to fight, even though he should have tried so much sooner.

You loved him with all you had, and a foolish part of you still does, but hearing the words coming out of his mouth that he betrayed your trust in such a cruel way tears down the walls you have been seeing through rose-colored glasses and cut your love for him into pieces with a sharp dagger.

Your best friend once told you that you should be careful, Matt would do anything to survive. Yet, you stayed around through the sleepless nights and the heartache. You worried about him every day and every night he went out as Daredevil to cleanse the streets, and you stitched him up without knowing what you were doing. You held him as he cried, offered him your endless support, and then some more, anything just to be loved by him, but he treated you so well. He gave you everything you needed, showed you a love no one has before and he was so dedicated, you felt at home with him. You trusted him with your life. You owe him your life, and yet, after everything you have been through together, one work trip to another State is all it takes for him to throw away years of history and kiss someone else? And Jennifer Walters, no less?

You never thought you had to be worried about anyone catching Matt’s attention. You had been so confident before, but now? Now you just feel useless, imperfect, and like a damn fool.

“Matt,” you whimper.

He holds on even tighter. “Can we talk about this?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

You look up, but the tears are flowing freely now.

“I’m sorry. Please, I don’t want to lose you. I love you so fucking much, baby. Please! I can’t live without you. Don’t leave me. I can make it up to you, I promise, just… give me another chance.”

“Yeah?” It pains you to tear his hands from your body, but you have to. “If you didn’t want to lose me,” you say, “you should have thought about it before you decided to kiss someone else.”

He says your name, begging you once again to just stay. Talk this through. Stay. He is like a serpent in your ear, and you want nothing more than to give in, but when you reflect on your time together, you don’t know if you should even think about giving in.

Matt has been obsessed with justice from the start. He chose it over you more than once, and it took you many nights and many fights for you to get him to stay even for a night or two to be with you, the person he claimed to love most of all. And now you are supposed to stay after he did what he did? It may be stupid to react this way if it was just a kiss, but he never once said it was accidental, and that means he has thought about cheating on you. He kissed someone else, someone who isn’t you, and he set your heart on fire the same way he has set your life together alight.

Maybe he kissed her because she’s like him–maybe he kissed Jennifer Walters because she understands, and he has often accused you of not understanding. Maybe in her, he has found someone who won’t keep him from New York City just for one date night. Maybe in her, he has found someone who doesn’t break down crying when he comes home late because she thinks he died in a fight with a criminal. And maybe in her, he has found the woman he actually wants to marry.

Marry. The word makes you choke up.

As if he read your thoughts, he crawls toward you and stops you from walking away. He digs his fingers further into your hips, retrieving a small box from his pants, and God, do you want to punch him right now.

You were right about the proposal, but he was planning to propose and still kissed someone else, and that is a betrayal on a whole new level.

“The audacity,” you whisper to yourself.

Tears are streaming down his face and he looks as if he thinks pulling out a ring after telling you he made out (no, kissed) with Jennifer Walters in Los Angeles is going to fix everything.

“Please,” he begs, “I only want you. I wanted to ask you–”

“No,” you cut him off. “Don’t you fucking dare, Matthew!” You pull away. “This is… I’ve been waiting for you to do this for so long, but you… what the fuck? No! Especially not now!” Your body Wracks with a sob. “I need time, and I can’t do this right now. Kissing Walters is one thing, but telling me you bought a ring for me and still kissed someone else? It hurts,” you say.

It hurts too fucking much, you can’t breathe. He was your oxygen too, in a way, but he has cut off the supply and now you are dying a slow and agonizing death.

“I’m so sorry.” His arms drop to his sides in defeat, but he remains on his knees. “I never meant to hurt you,” Matt cries, “I promise! I just… I made a mistake.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

“I–“

“I’m sorry for falling in love with you. That was my mistake.”

Ouch. Now you have taken his heart, pulled it out and shattered it with one twist of your wrist. But he deserves it.

Matt listens to the sound of your hasty movements as you pack some clothes. He listens to your tears, your sobs, and the shaking of your muscles as you shudder. He listens and stays right there on the floor, his head lowered as God’s judgment comes upon him.

And within minutes, your heartbeat leaves his ears and you are gone.

You left him, and he deserves every last ounce of pain it inflicts on him.

He’s an Icarus who has flown too close to the sun, and you deserve better than him.

It wasn’t Jennifer who brought him back to life, it was you and it will always be you, but he screwed that up, too, and he has to live with it now. Without you.

The ring box slips from his hands and then, he allows himself to break down.

Matt Murdock Angst Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @lina-mar @itwasthereaminuteago @mattkinsella @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @thychuvaluswife

#matt murdock #daredevil #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock imagines #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock x you #no y/n #matt murdock angst #human disaster matt murdock #request

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g0nta-g0kuhara · 9 months

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Gonta Character Thoughts

Someone asked me earlier today for some Gonta writing tips, and while I don't know fully how useful this wall of text is for that, it let me talk about Gonta as a character and about his motivations that I think some folks might appreciate either as people who like him or people who want to understand better why I'm so insane about him. It was also really fun to pull together my thoughts on him so I wanted to share!!

The main thing for me is that Gonta is pretty confident with himself when it comes to any situation that requires physical might. When it comes to lifting heavy things or fighting for his friends, Gonta is at ease and doesn't need to hesitate to consider if he Can do the thing. On the other hand, where he's a bit more nervous or hesitant is social situations. He's unfamiliar with and misses a lot of social cues and ends up stumbling and hesitant in situations he's never been in before (like class trials at the beginning of v3). In these situations he might look to follow someone's lead or even directly ask for help.

On the topic of familiarity, Gonta is also very well versed in knowledge related to bugs and survival, as well as nature, especially in the forest where he grew up. He is not very familiar with a lot of things other characters would take for granted as common knowledge (like computers, if its relevant at all he probably doesn't know much kanji). Gonta isn't Dumb but he is missing a cultural baseline for a lot of references and info that makes him struggle where other characters will have no issues.

Gonta's convinced that he's stupid because he lacks this baseline, and because of the reinforcement and teasing by those around him. He has pretty severe self-esteem problems, and he's convinced that all he's good for is his physical strength, as that's all people seem to value him for anyways. This led to a pretty bad complex during the killing game where he blamed himself for every single death ("if gonta could have just protected them this would have never happened. its all gonta's fault") which only got worse and worse. He's desperate to help out and be useful to the group so will go along with a lot if he thinks there's a chance he will be able to help. This is a major driving force for his character, especially in chapter 4.

Gonta is probably good with fine detail work (as he has to be to work with and mount bugs) but also will forget his strength if he gets excited or otherwise forgets himself. Very polite things like holding the door open for someone or offering to take someone's hand to help them down the stairs, or other things like that that aren't necessarily expected in every day life but definitely are of a stereotypical gentleman, Gonta will do whenever he can, but it's a very intentional thing. He might hesitate, remember he should be doing that, then go for it, which can end up a bit awkward. Gonta is very kindhearted by nature, so that will often come through even if he is a bit awkward about being gentleman-level polite. He's trying his best though.

Gonta is also very openly expressive. He can't hide or suppress his emotions very well most of the time, which means he emotes A Lot. He cries more easily than the other boys in v3, or really any of the characters in the v3 cast, and definitely cries more loudly and openly. But on the other hand, when he's happy, he glows.

The one emotion he tries his best to control is anger. A lot of Gonta's social isolation before he got lost (and even after tbh) came from the fact that he was bigger than the other kids and his neutral expression can be a bit intense/scary. He's not hotheaded in the way Kaito might be, but he's very careful with his words and himself when he's upset in this way.

Gonta will also make that intense expression where he grits his teeth and Looks angry when he's stressed or hurt. This can freak out his classmates to the point that he accidentally pushes them away when he needs their reassurance the most. (see: when you talk to gonta during the ch4 investigation, when he's freaking out about not being able to remember what happened and feeling useless, he makes this expression and Kaito gets scared.)

I need to stress though that Gonta is NOT aggressive. Almost every time in game where he considers physical violence as an option, he thinks through it carefully before acting (Defending Kaede before her execution, challenging Monokuma in ch4 before being talked down). A notable exception to this might be kidnapping people for the insect meet and greet, but that was less aggression and more Gonta being in a heightened state of emotion (convinced that everyone hates bugs, which upset him) so forgetting his strength.

Also, it's important to note that Gonta IS sometimes able to hide his emotions and tell lies, but it has to be very intentional and planned ahead of time. He can't suppress his tears at the loss of a classmate, and he can't lie easily (See trial 1 and 2 where Gonta very simply says that yeah he totally could have thrown the shotput ball or tossed ryoma into the tank /physically/, even though admitting this puts a target on his back). However, he was able to hide the truth of the outside world and the fact that he was likely experiencing some really intense emotions at the time from his friends as he and Kokichi executed their plan. Of course, the fact that they were virtual world avatars helps, but its not everything. I think he just has to plan to lie or prepare himself to put on a front in advance.

I know this is super long so just one last thing: Gonta will take a Lot of verbal abuse and teasing if it goes along with his already poor self image. Other characters will call him an idiot and he doesn't even bat an eye because he's convinced of the fact himself. That's why when Kiibo played back the audio recording of Kokichi during the Insect Meet n Greet the part that upset Gonta the most wasn't Kokichi calling him "simple-minded," but instead Kokichi saying that he didn't actually like bugs. He will stand up for himself (carefully, as he always acts when he's angry-upset) if other lines are crossed, though. Like in Ch2 when Kokichi says if Gonta keeps falling for his lies he will end up a victim of the killing game, to which Gonta says something like "Don't say that Kokichi, not even as joke."

I have more I could get into but that teeters more into personal headcanon territory on his friendships and backstory, so I'll hold off. but MAN I love Gonta and I love how genuinely deep his character goes. Its a shame so few people really get into his character beyond "sunshiney bug "himbo" ", there's a lot here that's fun to play with.

#gonta gokuhara #danganronpa v3 #drv3 spoilers #shut up me #long post #READ MY POST BOY

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plural-affirmations · 6 months

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Here's to those who have had self-inflicted trauma.

Many, many traumatized individuals end up feeling like they are partly or completely to blame for their trauma. Regardless of reason, you are not responsible. Even if it was something you did to yourself or others, I firmly believe you were a victim of circumstance; genetic factors, predisposition, lack of knowing it was dangerous, adult influence, etc... there were things out of your control. So, today? We're here to appreciate you.

Shoutout to those who:

Went through SA, CSA, COCSA, and/or NCCSA

Were forced to do traumatizing acts to another child/person

Had/have an eating disorder

Had/have an addiction, even the "mild" or "uncommon" ones

Experienced self-harm or suicide attempts

Otherwise had a near-death experience

Were hospitalized for their mental health

And anyone else who just feels like it's their fault. Because I promise, it isn't.

It's going to be ok. I know how hard things can get. I've had my own run-ins with crises before, but... the important thing is that you're here. You have so, so much value and brightness inside you. I don't want you to think you have to take drastic measures to feel better. Because, you didn't get to write the beginning of your story... but you can definitely write the rest. And I'm excited to see how it turns out.

Please stick around, ok?

🖤💜💙💚💛

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wishcamper · 4 months

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All in the Family: ACOTAR and Bowenian family systems theory, PART I

CW: addiction, family trauma, dog death

Creds: licensed therapy person and member of a dysfunctional family

There’s a lot of parts to this and a lot I’m excited to explore, so we’ll start with an overview and introduction of some core concepts. I'm going to take a look at the IC as it's own family system, the subsystems within it, and what these dynamics tell us about the culture of the IC.

The Basics

Murray Bowen created Family Systems Theory to explain the interconnected dynamics and emotional patterns within families that can span generations.

All members play a part in how the system functions, through both action and inaction, and members influence each others’ behavior.

In dysfunctional systems, members project and displace their emotions onto others, feel responsible for the emotions of others, and/or cut off and suppress emotionally to avoid conflict and instability.

The same strategies tend to get used over and over.

Of note: there are many criticisms of this theory, including lack of depth regarding gender disparity, pathologizing of regular emotions, and a very Western (and ableist) goal of complete personal emotional independence. I have found Bowen’s techniques not very helpful in practice, but his ideas provide a great framework for conceptualizing how energy moves in a family and the interconnectedness of the system through generations. So, take all this with a grain of salt given those limitations and that these people are fictional and often contradictory in their words and actions.

Core Concept 1: Differentiation and Enmeshment

The main goal in Bowen’s theory is for all beings in the system to achieve differentiation, meaning they are able to hold onto their sense of self even when emotionally intimate with others. The opposite of differentiation is enmeshment, where members emotions are dependent on and influenced by one another in ways they are not aware of or have no control over. Some people also call this ‘codependent’, aka ‘we are both dependent on your stability to feel emotionally safe’.

Example: Partner A feels anxious taking off work for vacation, and tries to micromanage their family during the trip to attempt to relieve it. In a well-differentiated system, Partner B can recognize the behavior has nothing to do with them, and set a boundary about how Partner A engages with the family. “I appreciate that you’re stressed, A. I need you to figure out a way to handle it without being all over me and the kids.” The anxiety becomes Partner A’s to process instead of being displaced on the others.

In an enmeshed system, Partner B might mirror Partner A by micromanaging the children too, or monitoring themselves very carefully, or trying to create conditions that will not upset A. Partner A avoids dealing with their anxiety because everyone else is doing it for them. In an enmeshed system, members take inappropriate responsibility for managing the feelings of others.

In the opposite system, where emotions are suppressed to keep the status quo, Partner B may act like everything is fine, leaving the children to bear the brunt of the anxiety. B might retreat emotionally from the family and appear aloof or cold. The balance is the important part, because whatever the status quo, families tend to repeat the same emotional processes over and over in different situations, like variations on a theme.

These cycles lead to feedback loops:

Enmeshed: Partner A abuses alcohol and Partner B helps them cover it up. A is shielded from natural consequences of their drinking, and B is relieved of the fear of having to confront it and create conflict in the relationship. Both partners use the other to regulate their uncomfortable emotions.

Suppressed: Partner B leaves the room every time conflict arises, and never addresses it later. A stops bring up problems because B will leave anyway. Tension is never resolved because everyone is invested in pretending they don’t exist.

Core Concept 2: Triangles and Displacement

One of the most important concepts in Bowen’s theory is the power of the triangle. I’m going to go into this more later when it comes to Cass/Az/Mor, but within the IC we see a number of compelling triangles.

Rhysand, Cassian, and Azriel

Feyre, Nesta, and Elain

Cassian, Azriel, and Mor

Rhysand, Feyre, and everybody else lumped together

Bowen says triangles happen because they provide a way for dyads to relive unaddressed tension without direct conflict. We see this a lot in divorces with children, where parents will try to recruit the child to “their side”. Dyads can displace their conflict onto a third party, which provides emotional relief. Triangles are particularly compelling because the shifting of alliances is ongoing and can be used to access power and meet unmet needs.

Think about the Archeron sisters. There’s a certain power in being the two sisters closer to each other and not the one left out. Up through ACOWAR, Feyre often remarks on Elain and Nesta being the closer sisters, which Nesta leverages to protect Elain. Nesta communicates her anger at Feyre and the world she believes Feyre brought to them by directing it through concern for Elain’s safety, which Feyre is unable to argue against. We see the same pattern in ACOSF when Feyre and Elain are getting along, and how they use it as a tool to pressure Nesta into conforming. We are able to be close, so if you can’t it’s probably because there’s something wrong with you, so we don’t have to feel badly about you falling apart. Nesta becomes the scapegoat for unresolved guilt about the effects of the war.

In the Rhys-Cass-Az triangle, the goal seems to be more about enforcing the rules of the family as the ‘safe place’ for all of them. Pre-ACOTAR, after the Cass/Mor incident, Az and Rhys punish Cassian emotionally for breaking the dicks before chicks code that threatens the stability of their relationships. Conversely in ACOFAS, Rhys and Az agree not to tell Cass about the scope of Illyrian unrest to *checks notes* not ruin his Christmas. They externally manage Cassian’s emotions for him, and by extension their own worry, by leaving him in the dark (a favorite strategy of Rhys) so they can all have a nice holiday together, like they always do. Rhys says over and over he needs this happy time, then extends that need to everyone else and recruits Az to make that happen.

I’m not commenting on whether these triangles are healthy or unhealthy, just pointing out that they exist to leverage power and get needs met.

Core Concept 3: Homeostasis and the Nuclear Family Emotional Process

Tiny storytime.

When I was in college, my mom called me one day and said they put my dog to sleep the week before. I was devastated, and furious given it had been planned beforehand. I felt robbed of the opportunity to say goodbye in any meaningful way. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized this is the status quo in my family - we don’t look hard things in the face. We use avoidance as a strategy to not deal with our own and each others emotions. We don’t talk about dad’s drinking, or why mom is blank and locked in her own head, or my sister’s compulsive perfectionism, or my one-woman mission to self-destruct in as many ways as possible. We are a family of avoiders. We don’t talk about it. We don’t talk about it.

Bowen call this dysfunction the 'nuclear family emotional process' , and explains that there are four major patterns that emerge in families:

Marital conflict

Dysfunction in a spouse

Impairment of one or more children

Emotional distance

These patterns can and do play out at the same time, to varying effects. The particular combination a family has dictates where and when problems tend to arise in the system, and how they're dealt with.

As an adult, I’ve tried really hard to break out of the pattern of my family. Through my own darkness and recovery, I’ve worked to honor my own needs and emotions as valid and worth spending time with. When I go home I still get sucked into that pattern, because resisting means being the one who makes everyone look at their problems, a thing they really don’t want to do.

Because, as Bowen asserts, system resists change. Systems are carefully balanced and want homeostasis. So when someone tries to change the system, the others compensate to bring them back in line and restore balance.

Think about Lingerie-gate from ACOFAS. Mor sees Cassian emotionally invested in Nesta, which draws away from the emotional investment he has in her and the rest of the IC. She makes a move to reassert her significance in his life as a woman, and scores a double hit by showing Nesta that Mor is higher status in the system and she should back off (so much more on this in another post).

When Azriel pursues Elain in ACOSF, Rhysand pulls rank hard with the rationale of political implications, but I think it’s because it could create conflict between his loyalty to Feyre and to the rest of his family. If Azriel and Elain get together and it goes badly, Rhys would be forced to choose between loyalty to Feyre’s sister or to Az. And I think he’s made it clear he’ll always choose Feyre. He would have to maintain the system by casting his brother out.

The Archeron sisters throw the system out of whack because loyalties are realigned and power hierarchies are being disrupted. I think a lot of the drama we seen on and off page comes from this upset and the way the IC tries to rebalance their dysfunctional system.

So that’s where I’ll leave it for now. I’m still puzzling through the power structure, because while it’s clear Rhys is at the top, the others are less clear to me. Mor is definitely above Cass and Az, but Elain jumps the queue at some point during ACOSF and idk what the hell to do with Amren.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed, class dismissed! You can find PART II here.

Source: Brown, J. (1999). Bowen family systems theory and practice: Illustration and critique. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 20(2), 94-103.

#prythian university #acotar #family systems #family dysfunction #Murray Bowen #putting my master's degree to WORK honey

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thesimpsbasement · 2 years

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Hello! May I request Vil, Kalim, Malleus and Azul with a male! s/o who’s like Sherlock Holmes or William Moriarty? As in reader is very intelligent and stuff

Hello anon and sure! I sorta alternated between the 2 cuz didn't know how to incorporate both but I hope this is to your liking!

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Vil Schoenheit, Kalim Al Asim,Malleus Draconia,Azul Ashengrotto

Author:Mod Betty

Warnings/tags: slight spoilers for book 3,5 ( mainly spoilers on book 5) ,not proofreaded yet

Reader is male

Word count:1,300 words

_____________________________

-The first time he noticed your high intelligence was when you actually memorized every item for the skin routine he recommended you

-It took Epel forever to memorize them all and still forgets some

-During VDC he knew you'd be problem because he knew you'd probably see right through his plan and his concerns were correct as you were the one to inform Jamil way before he himself noticed Vil's odd behaviors

-Vil does care a lot about things being perfect, one minute mistake could end in a catastrophe

-You agree with Vil on that but sometimes you rather study than do a self care routine, maybe on your breaks you could add a couple products but not enough to meet Vil's standards

-Vil did admire your determined to adapt to this strange world by learning about it as much as possible, but what he doesn't admire is your lack of self care

-Sometimes he drags you out of your room to do a proper self care regiment

-Like the one you are currently doing

-" For someone who's such a genius you can be quite a forgetful potato" Vil says as he rubs some sort of cream on your face

"Apologies by I can't help but simply indulge of the common things in thought world taht would be deemed impossible in mine" you replied hoping to somewhat justifying your actions every though you knew it wouldn't

" I understand your excitement but you do need to take proper care of yourself,you may deem this unnecessary but I disagree completely and as your lover I'm even more complied to do this" he retorted continuing to apply product to your face

"Oh how lucky i am to have someone to spoil me like this, I'm moved" you tease,smile on your face

" The real lucky one is me to have a brilliant and sometimes forgetful boyfriend like yourself "

-When he found out about your intelligence he was in awe

-you were so cool and not mean like Riddle and you were easier to approach Unlike Malleus

-Jamil is wary of you for a good while knowing how easily Kalim is influenced but you weren't heartless to use someone's kindness

-Kalim is the type to brag about you like " Look how smart my boyfriend is so if you ever need help go ask him!"

-And he wasn't lying,ever since hanging out with(and dating) you he's been improving in his academics and would always would go to you if he needed assistance, saving Jamil from extra work( which he thanks you for)

-Being in a new world made everything surprise you but also defied the logic of your own world so when Kalim offered you a ride on a magic carpet you were skeptical

-I mean a carpet couldn't hold the weight of well anything so it being able to carry 2 people is already taboo and also how can you control it's direction and spee-

-Before you could finish your train of thoughts and how the pure concept contradicts basic physics Kalim pulled your arm and seated you on the carpet

-The first minute you were nervous as hell,who could blame you, you were literally flying on a carpet!

-After the initial shock the ride was actually relaxing and fun

-You never thought you'd ever find yourself flying around on a magic carpet flying around but you don't mind it

-Turning to Kalim who was looking at you the whole time to make sure you're enjoying yourself, you put a hand on his cheek before saying "thank you for showing me something I would never have thought of" and pulling him for a kiss

-Kalim was overjoyed knowing he actually managed to 1) surprised you and 2) make you feel happy

-Safe to say there's never a dull moment with Kalim

-He knew you were smart by simply observing how well you performed in class

-A magicless human from a completely different dimension did better than most of the NRC students

-What caught him by surprise was when you knew his true identity almost as soon as you saw him

-What confused him was that you were still referring to him as that silly nickname you came up with

-Even if you're smart and probably have some combat abilities you still couldn't stand a chance

-When confronting you about it all you did was smirk ad say " Don't worry I know a foe when I see one "

-Also good luck having to deal with Sebek since he's suspicious of you and your wits. Who knows maybe you were trying to fool the young master!!

-Would often come by Ramshackle and talk about each other's lives

-He was quite fascinated by your life back home,always solving mysteries and how capable you were in dire situations

-He doesn't necessarily need help in academics especially being the next heir of Briar Valley but would often ask you for help with other stuff ((*cough* technology ))

-For a mere child of man and from a foreign land you have a lot of knowledge to almost rival some fae

-Despite knowing you can handle yourself just fine you're still a fragile human with no magic so he will occasionally loom around the shadows,sometimes your sharp tongue could easily infuriate students from a certain dorm,After all Savanaclaw students don't settle arguments with words,but with their fists but when they pull their magic pens Malleus quickly steps in to stop the fight before you got hurt because of some buffoons

-After the students ran off, you turned to him a smile on your face " I could've handled them myself you know, even if they can use magic they're still brainless" Malleus chuckled " I suppose so however I don't think I'd forgive myself if you did end up hurt" he said sighing

-" How about we go to Ramshackle after class for a cup of tea? My treat" you suggested

-"Anything for you ,my brilliant child of man"

-The first thing he noticed about you was how calm you were when you signed that contract about bringing that painting from the museum, it was almost as if you had a plan already and were confident it'll succeed

-Seeing how brilliant you were and how you could easily make things go your way he actually suggested working in Mostro Lounge

-Would sometimes challenge you to see who's better,be it who'd give a better offer on contracts or who'd finish homework quicker

-During closing hours he'd offer you a cup of tea and discuss whatever topics you thought of

-When dating your counseling started coming into play

-After some time Azul started getting comfort with being vulnerable around you, often pouring his insecurities as he stared at his lap

-" Sometimes I feel like you deserve better" he muttered not making eye contact with you

"Why do you say that love?" You ask him ,serious look on your face

"I mean someone as brilliant as you shouldn't stick around a stupid,fat,clumsy octopus" he said slight irritation in his voice

You sighed as you placed your hands on his shoulders " Azul look at me" ,hesitantly he did as he was told,teary eyes looking right into your

"The fact I'm your boyfriend should be telling you enough that I'm not going anywhere, I don't stick with people that I don't want too, so if I didn't like you I wouldn't be sitting in this very room now would I?" You said trying to comfort your partner without any sort of sugared words but with pure logic

-"Yeah I guess you're right" Azul said wiping his tears

-Smiling you kiss his forehead has you bring him into a hug " so please cease these idiotic thoughts for both our sake ,you know it pains me to see you this upset"

#fanfiction #fanfic #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit x reader #kalim al asim x reader #malleus draconia x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #x male reader #moriarty the patriot

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shortpplfedup · 8 months

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Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 9

A contemplative episode this week, as most of the characters stop struggling and start accepting some shit. But while some people come to correct conclusions (Ray and Mew break up, but can you call it a break up if you were never actually together?), others just decide to make the same mistakes and hope for different outcomes (Sand keeps trusting Ray instead of himself; Mew decides to give Top another chance). We're moving into the last act of the story now, and it's anybody's guess where we land up when the dust settles. Last week y'all judged Ray the most audacious by a mile. Lemme put my glasses on and see who I'm feeling this week.

🔺1. Nick (6)

Team Second Option!

Nick and Sand's loser friendship and their self-awareness of same is one of the most delightful parts of a truly delightful show. I can totally believe Nick suggested them hooking up, this is EXACTLY how these things go. Them dissolving into giggles over their kiss and cuddling each other to sleep was a beautiful friendship moment. Another beautiful moment was Nick's acceptance that he really had just fucked things up with Boston (we will ignore the fact that the boy just can't HELP spying on that man having sex with other people🤣), apologising in a heartfelt way and attempting to move on. I think Nick's heart might be the only one at ease at the end of this ep, so he wins the week.

⭐2. Boeing

My room is right here as well.

IT'S MOND IT'S MOND IT'S MOND MOND IS HERE AND HE LOOKS GOOD AS FUCK! It's time to find out what the hell this is all about, but whatever it is looks kinda fucked which YES.

🔺3. Sand (11)

We are just masochists.

The loser camping trip did a lot to make me feel less irritated with Sand this week. Sand has always been incredibly self-aware about how much him having feelings for Ray is a suck move, but having him state it all so baldly and call himself a masochist this episode did move the needle for me. Architect of his own misery? Yes, but knowing he lowhighkey ENJOYS the misery makes all the difference. You know what king, you do you. Swing wildly between euphoria and despair while you're young enough to find it exciting.

🔻4. Boston (2)

Gay, straight, pan, whatever the fuck you want to be. I just opened your eyes.

Oh sis, I saw you trying there, but the lack of impulse control as always will land you in trouble. He should have sent Atom packing after that party, but sad, lonely and pissed off are a bad combo, and one thing Boston consistently does is make poor decisions when he's feeling some typa way. He clearly served up a top tier dicking though, because Atom is in LOVE. Inconvenient at best. As I keep saying though: you can't keep a bad bitch down, and Boston's one of the baddest. This too shall pass.

🔺5. Ray (12)

I am thick-skinned. I don't care.

*deep negro spiritual sigh* How DARE you bust up the loser camping trip Raymond. I'll not forgive you for that one. Ray, rejected by Mew, demands Sand's company for an ego-boosting dopamine hit (including the sex that Mew denied him, natch), continuing to treat him like a servant and a possession. But this time Sand calls him on it, and that maybe means he thinks about it a little? TBD. I do think Ray WAS actually honest this episode about his feelings (hence the rise in rank), but he was still trying to get what he wanted out of Sand. He and Mew ended their ill-advised relationship as friends though, so that's a positive. Rehab seems to be on the menu next week so anything's possible. I still think these two are terrible for each other, but they're 21, I guess it's allowed.

🔺6. Top (7)

I just want you to know that the person you think loves you the most is not that good.

Watching Top work Mew's moms over all Mew's objections was gross, and I'm fortified anew in my feeling that this dude's vibes are just OFF. Top...circling Mew like this, working Cheum, working his moms, making the move to excise Ray but not actually pulling the trigger because he knows taking the high road will appeal to Mew...look this show has 3 more eps to prove me wrong but something ain't RIGHT with this 'un. Top's money, his good looks, his sweet words, that's all it seems anybody pays attention to, but something underneath...anyway, his strategy's working, right up until the moment Mew runs into Boeing on his fucking doorstep.

🔻7. Mew (3)

I just thought if I became someone else, I'd be stronger.

Well the slut spiral was fun while it lasted, but I guess the morning after a coke bender is generally unpleasant and Mew's a paper tiger not a real G. Mew's trying to keep up the party boy persona but he's not built for this shit, his heart's not in it and Ray trying to literally get in his pants crashed him back to reality. He's totally going back to Top, Boeing or no Boeing.

⭐8. Mew's moms

I saw you on Mew's Instagram. You look better in person.

Oof. Look they're cute and they obviously love Mew, but their son is clearly uncomfortable and unhappy with Top around and they're ignoring that. They may not know what happened, but the room ain't THAT hard to read.

🔻9. Atom (1)

Did I just get nailed and bailed?

Atom tried dick exactly once and it's got him outside Boston's house in the middle of the night begging for more of the same. My bunny boiler hopes have fizzled for both Nick and Sand, maybe Atom is the one I've been waiting for.

🔹10. Yo (10)

Good can't buy love.

Mae Yo with the read this week: 'good can't buy love'. I really want Mom and Cool Stepdad back together. GO GET YOUR MAN YO!

🔻11. Daddy Dan (4)

I'm not going to be your boss tonight. Call me Daddy Dan.

The cringe is through the roof. Well he might get to sniff it but a sniff's all he's gonna get before Nick's back in Boston's bed, and that's just a matter of time at this point.

🔻12. Cheum (8)

The evil spirit left you already, huh?

Will Cheum ever learn to mind the business that pays her? Her lack of interest in her brother's clear and obvious heartbreak is contrasted unfavourably with her overinvestment and overinvolvement in the Mew/Top saga. I also somehow feel like last week's self-interested moment of solidarity with Boston won't survive contact with her brother getting exactly what he asked for and breaking his own heart with it.

#only friends the series #bless this mess #only friends weekly character rankings #i support gay wrongs #only friends #only friends series #bl meta series

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letteredlettered · 2 months

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Hi!! Have you ever struggled with burnout, depression, or overwork? Currently in my first job post college and it’s been very intense as we are currently like 3 people doing the work of a team designed for 7 people (two roles they are working to fill and two people are out on leave -> one is out on vacation and the other on parental leave). Have spent many ours on overtime (around two days a week I usually sleep five or six hours and spend a few more hours working —> other days I work a bit less but still some overtime) for the last few months. It’s really hard to decompress and stop thinking about work as I work remotely. I need to get better at setting limits and advocating for myself but I think one issue I’ve been dealing with is getting caught in a cycle of having a lot so having not a lot of time to do an analysis of like what needs to change and this is my bandwidth. Also it’s hard to predict bandwidth sometimes because I’m still very new to this industry and department, so I’m still learning how much coordination is necessary to get something done. Another problem is that everyone is stretched to their limit and extremely busy, so I feel kind of bad rejecting projects. I think an issue is that I also have relatively low self-esteem and confidence but a deep desire to be “good” from like an academic perspective and a work perspective, and the main leader of my team is someone who I like a lot and appreciates what I do, so I keep trying to do more or at least meet expectations. I also receive assignments from different people (five people total, usually), so people generally don’t have visibility as to my bandwidth unless I speak up. One person in particular gave me a lot of assignments with a good deal of time pressure and was the person that I was working the closest with —> still trying to catch up to some of the more evergreen projects I had with him because the other projects I’ve had in the last two months have even way too intense to do anything else. I’m really grateful for this job and I like a lot of the people I work with, but I’m kind of struggling.

I mention all of this because I really respect the way you are able to commit to creative projects and create incredible works and really focus on making something. I’ve never really had an ability to stick to a creative project or hobby for an extended period of time —> frequently I disappoint myself in my lack of consistency or follow-through for a lot of my personal goals. I also really appreciate the way that you engage with certain themes in your work and value your perspective. So just kind of curious if you’ve been through this before or have any thoughts about this sort of thing

I've thought a lot about what to tell you here.

What anyone would recommend is that you set boundaries and take care of yourself. They'd say that your well-being is more important than your work. If they read your ask carefully they'd realize that maybe your performance in this job is connected to your well-being in your mind. If they're looking at the strings that control the system they're going to tell you capitalism has brainwashed us into thinking that we should sacrifice our health for the sake of production, and then they'll tell you you should do what you can to break out of the capitalist mentality. If they're not excited about seizing the means of production then their in-universe advice (in-the-capitalist-universe advice) is going to point out that you cannot produce more for the capitalist machine if you're burnt out (I'd call these people the neoliberals of tumblr but I'm not sure that exists; I haven't seen it).

But none of that is really addressing the problem here, because you already know all of that, or if you don't know it, knowing that isn't going to help you. You don't need to be told to set boundaries. You know you accept too many projects; you know that you haven't been clear with your colleagues about your bandwidth. You know you're trying too hard to please others and that part of the reason is you have a low self-esteem.

Something that people don't talk about enough is how bad it feels to set boundaries. When people advise others to "set boundaries" it's always as if it's never occurred to anyone else to stand up for themselves. The problem is that it usually has occurred to us, but it's hard to do and feels bad. Hearing "stand up for yourself!" repeatedly can sometimes help us feel like we did the right thing when we do manage to stand up for ourselves, but it can just as often make you feel even worse when you can't stand up for yourself. You're being overworked and you're not doing the thing that everyone tells you you should do.

And another thing that people do not talk about enough is that most workplaces do not like employees who set boundaries for themselves. They like people who say yes. You often won't get in trouble for setting reasonable limits for yourself, but you won't advance. The ones who work late and work on weekends and take on every project and say nothing about bandwidth are usually the ones who get promoted. I'm not saying this because it's right or okay. It's another flaw in the capitalist system. But it is very often true, and I've been a little frustrated that in all these glorious discussions about boundary-setting, this is not something that gets talked about more.

So what to do, when you know the answers, but it doesn't feel great, and might not get you where you want to go?

Spend time with your feelings. A lot of time with your feelings. Imagine ways to communicate your bandwidth. Imagine how you would feel in each scenario. Pick scenarios that feel more comfortable and less intimidating for you. Imagine saying no to a new project. Imagine how you would feel doing that. Pick a way of doing it that feels the most manageable.

Think about your colleagues, what you like about them and why. Imagine how they would feel if they knew that you were struggling. Imagine having an honest conversation with them about how hard this is for you. Would they listen open and compassionately? Would they try to make changes that could help you? Or would they say, "We're all going through it," and "there's nothing to be done?" Imagine saying to them, "I know we're all going through this, because of the staffing challenges we're facing," and "I know there's not much to be done about this, but this is how I'm feeling." Would they accept your vulnerability? Would it make you feel bad to be vulnerable in that way? Would it make you feel worse to be vulnerable in that way or to say nothing?

That's not a leading question. Saying nothing is okay. There have been many times where I am facing a problem and I realized that doing nothing was the thing that made me feel best. There were other times when I really didn't want to do something and I knew it would be incredibly hard, but I knew I would feel much better having done it.

Think about your self-esteem and confidence. Why don't you feel confident? When you imagine saying no, and it feels bad, what makes it feel so bad? Is it because other people don't say no? Are you measuring yourself against those other people? How can you stop doing that? Or is it because you feel like a good worker always says yes? Where did you get that idea? Was it an idea communicated to you by people who love you? By society? Are there people who haven't made you feel that your worth as a person was predicated on how much you were able to accomplish? When is the last time you spent time with them? What makes you feel good about yourself? When is the last time you did it? Are there things you can do outside of work to boost your confidence? What are they? Can you do them? Why not? If work is holding you back from doing them, is it worth it?

It's okay if work feels worth it. I'm not endorsing the capitalist machine when I say that it is okay to do something that is really difficult or unpleasant for a certain amount of time to get where you are going. But if that's what you're going to do, then develop a plan of escape. Ask yourself how long you're willing to put up with this. Ask yourself what the next step in your career or life journey is. Ask yourself what you will put up with to get there and what is unacceptable. Write it down if you have to, then try to abide by that, and if you are unable to bear your plan six months down the line, make a new one.

I am fortunate in that these kinds of questions come really naturally to me, and I think they must not come so naturally for a lot of other people. Definitely, there are blocks in my mind; I'm not always able to understand myself or my own feelings; I don't know what's best for myself or how to make myself do things I want. But this kind of thinking is not going to give you immediate answers. Instead, it's going to build the skill of getting to know yourself.

The ultimate question you should be asking is "What will make me happy?" It sounds like a simple question, but it is in fact the most difficult of all. It is the question we struggle with every day, and every book that was ever written, every song that was ever sung, every painting that was ever painted is about that, in the end. The answer to that question is the meaning of life. Most people never find it, but the search is worth it.

It's definitely worth it.

#work #jobs #capitalism #life

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