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sunriseverse · 1 month

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@vaynglories replied to your post “10, 14, 16, 17 for the writing q's!”:

I AM ASKING NOW. TELL ME ABOUT THE USES OF "BAD WRITING" (if you want to) (also hardcore agree on the first person thing. so many oft-hated-upon devices can be used to good effect, it's all about the manner in which they're used!)

okay sorry to only get to this [checks timestamp] twelve hours later BUT i have so so many feelings about this so thank you for encouraging me.

for this post, i'll be talking about the generally hated styles/types of writing, the ones that people always so to NEVER DO, that i can remember off the top of my head. (if i miss one that you want to hear about, let me know!!! i love talking about this subject.) i'll list them off very quickly so you have a general idea what i'm talking about: second person pov, first person pov, "excessive" italicisation, stream-of-consciousness, lack of dialogue tags, grammatical errors, repetition, "overly" detailed/purple prose, and omission of information.

(this got long, oops. sticking it below the cut for readability.)

as a brief preface, i'll say this: i think that a lot of these things are hard to pull off in a way that works. it takes a lot of experience, skill, and understanding of both the medium you're working with, and what each of these things conveys. but so often i see people warning authors away from them entirely, which is, in my opinion, shortsighted at best, and stunting of creativity at worst. now i'll give an explanation for each of these, and how i've used them/how i think they can be used effectively.

second person pov: this is arguably the most "intimate" pov, because you're making the reader an implicit party to the narrative, moreso than usual. that doesn't mean the narrator is the reader, though! second person pov can also help to create, paradoxically, a distance from the actual narrator. you can see this in the harrow the ninth novel, for one example, and in another, i've used second person a couple times in my recent works; here's an example of it:

You didn’t bother trying to answer. You knew well enough that the best option in the battlefield of pain was silence. They, you thought, perhaps, were waiting for you to make a sound; to groan, or grunt, or moan, or wail. They forgot you were as Zhang as they were. This was not a smugness; this was a fact you knew as well as the length of your fingers had been burnt into you.

here, the second person pov blurs the lines between the reader's experience, and xiaoge's experience, but does not make the reader the narrator; not that that would be a bad thing, but in this case, that's not what i was going for; you can tell who the narrator is based on details that are given. the second person pov also makes the narration feel more factual—it is being experienced rather than being observed.

first person pov: very common in YA novels, but adult novels have first person povs as well! you just don't hear about them as much. i would say first person pov is one of the harder things on this list, because it can be hard to characterise the narrator without making them feel too much like a self insert/audience insert. that said, first person pov is a great way to convey mystery, suspense, and have an unreliable narrator! to keep with giving examples, the main dmbj novels are told in first person form; they, therefore, are necessarily filtered through what wu xie deems important, and as you go further along, it becomes clear that someones—maybe even often—he's bending the truth, giving a very biased account, or just straight out lying or forgetting things, not to mention that, necessarily, there are things he just doesn't know that you don't learn about until either a. someone else states them upfront, or b. npss writes a third person pov novel that mentions the fact. some other novels with first person povs: the tiger's daughter, the employees, the murderbot diaries. the first two are epistolary, and the second two have mystery elements; in both cases, the first person pov has a specific purpose, which it fulfils well.

"excessive" italicisation: this is a complaint i've heard less often, but i have heard it, so it's going on the list. oftentimes people tell you to reserve italics for special occasions, not much unlike the way older generations would have told you to restrict your exclamation mark usage. it's a matter of stylistic preference, i'll be blunt, and carries with it a lot of implication that are culturally specific. for example, if you're writing in chinese, you necessarily cannot italicise—but i digress. italicisation is good for drawing special, specific emphasis to things; i've used it in my writing to indicate altered mental states before, as i have personal experience with my mental state being altered by psychiatric episodes that cause me to give undue attention to seemingly "trivial" things, changed my speech patterns, etc. from a very old pacific rim fic, where the narrating character is still suffering under the effects of being possessed and having his mental state altered by it:

This time, the guards don’t protest as Hermann dismisses them—a quick jerk of his head and they’re gone. “They gave me thicker socks this time,” Newt says conversationally, part of him wanting to shift from foot to foot, but he remains still.

as you can see, the italicisation gives the dialogue a strange, almost jarring, artificial quality. it's as if it's being read off by an autogenerated voice, rather than a human—which, considering the fic touches upon the experience of humanity, is fitting.

stream-of-consciousness: not a very common thing, but in my opinion, good for showing altered mental states—be it due to extreme fear or stress, mental health issues, or tense situations. i've used this a couple times, in a sha hai fic where li cu is experiencing a sudden realisation of what, exactly, is sharing his body with him, and the conflicting thoughts between him and the parasite, and i've also used it in sunrise more recently, describing xiaoge's experience hiveside, in a place that cannot properly be comprehended by the human mind:

The stone scrapes against the wall. Li Cu breathes, and blinks, and you are not alone in this body the other has noticed you the other must not be allowed to Li Cu wants to run wants to drown himself until the sensation leaves the panicked sparrow in his chest the body will listen to you and you will return to It because that is the only way this can end one foot before the other move slowly move steadily don’t harm this body it is all you have until It do not let the other do as it wishes Li Cu wants to yell wants to scream Li Cu wants to flee Li Cu is a rabbit in a snare Li Cu is a deer’s neck snapping beneat the force of a tiger’s jaws Li Cu is a sparrow Li Cu is a mouse Li Cu is fucking done no he is not fucking letting this thing do whatever it wants with the body is no longer listening the other has grown too strong a flameburst a flash of fangs the other has noticed the other should have been excised Li Cu is not fucking letting this be his end Li Cu is not fucking dying down here Li Cu is not, Li Cu is not, fingers clumsy on the zippers, fumbling as they shift through the contents, tubes and papers and they’re heavy on the hands they fit so nicely isn’t it strange it’s never been thought of before that excision isn’t always cutting isn’t it strange that excision can be burning too that you can cauterise an infection can cauterise an interloper can cauterise

and

in this place in this space he will have no moment to breathe no moment to blink no moment to slow in this place he will have no self no other only IT and ALL ELSE because that will be the truth of IT that it will see not in terms of differentiation but in SELF and OTHER and he will be OTHER and he will fight it better than anything or anyone before because he will be the only one who has the memory of before the only one who won’t corrupt at its touch though it will burn though it will sing and oh it will be blinding oh it will be vibrant oh it will paint the hollow of his mind in beautiful beautiful colours no other will be able to comprehend in this moment he will for a second become not OTHER but rather IT become not OTHER but SELF and it will be this that he fights mostly this that he battles the longest SUBSUMATION INTO THE WHOLE that he dances away from will be the CONSUMPTION that he holds the walls against firm will be this that he will try and summon the memories of THEM and this that will succeed but not for yet not for now NOT JUST QUITE NO NOW IS NOW IS NOW IS NOW IS

lack of dialogue tags: as long as you know what you're doing, it's actually not that hard to make it clear who's speaking even if you're not using dialogue tags. i haven't seen this in a published novel, but i've both used and seen it before in character study-type fics, and in remembered conversations, where the focus is less on a conversation happening, and more on the experience of the conversation. it also, in my opinion, tends to add a surreal atmosphere to the section it's being used in—more like an image than text. there is, of course, also the lack of dialogue tags in speech when talking about telepathic communication, but i don't think that that's usually what's being talked about when it comes to this.

grammatical errors: while annoying when made because an author doesn't know better, in the hands of an experienced writer, these can be very effective at conveying altered mental states, giving a sense of foreboding or surrealism, or for characters that aren't human or for some reason have no experience or memory of being human. i forgot to add this to the list, but grammatical errors also blend a bit with formatting errors—formatting is a great way to build a certain atmosphere, be that ascetic, horror, etc.

repetition: can be annoying, but has genuine applications! if there's a truth that a character holds particularly firmly, that might show up in repetitive narration. on top of this, if there's something particularly strange, eye-catching, or an overwhelming emotion or experience, this can also show up in repetition. repetition pressed closer together can give the sense of a stifling, claustrophobic atmosphere, or that a character is experiencing something overwhelming, and spread out, it can be used to establish themes and characterisation.

"overly" detailed/purple prose: i am a purple prose defender until the day i die. just because some people who don't know what they're doing make purple prose a slog doesn't mean that it's inherently bad. prose that's "excessively detailed" can be a good way to establish character—they may pay particular attention to detail due to, for example, constantly needing to be aware of their surroundings for safety or political reasons, etc—, and a good way to establish dynamics between characters, convey emotion, and give the world of the writing a more "realistic", vibrant feel to it. i especially appreciate detailed prose for its ability to convey emotion—as someone who's a character writer, i rely a lot on the prose to convey the character's emotions, and thus, characterise them, and carry the narrative.

omission of information: sometimes the narrator won't tell you things and that is not only okay, but also good! it can be a great way to characterise a character—what do they focus on? what do they avoid? what does this say about them? are they omitting these things only from those around them, only the reader, or both? how does the reader's perspective change if/when they find out what's been omitted? in my opinion, a lot of great usages of omission come from them being only omitted in one or two ways—as in, there are hints as to the omission, that the reader could have pieced together, but they trusted the narrator, or just didn't notice them because they were paying more attention to what was being said directly rather than what was being alluded to by the other characters. omission is similar, in my opinion, to plot twists—it works best when the reader had enough tools to figure it out, but for whatever reason, didn't.

okay that's the end of my very long rant. i hope this makes sense!!! and if there's things i missed let me know and i'll talk about them :)

#c.txt

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troublewithvampires · 10 months

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@chaieyestea said: What are Salvatore's thoughts about himself in a parental position? Would he be a good father? A strict one? A lax one? Could he be there for a kid at all, physically and emotionally?

//chai i am giving you the biggest platonic smooch on the forehead right now. with tongue. thank you for this.

anyway this is something i think about a completely normal amount (<- lying through his teeth). this is going under the cut since it's fucking long lmao

What are Salvatore's thoughts about himself in a parental position?

so. fatherhood isn't something salvatore has ever really thought about or considered as a possibility for himself. i think when he was younger he might've idly fantasized about it, but it was less out of a desire to be a father and more out of a desire to be The Man Of The House.

baby sal didn't really understand the gender thoughts he was having, only that being told that he could be a housewife and a mom was *viscerally* upsetting to him, and he sometimes retorted that, actually, he'd never do that. he'd never be a *mom*, he'd be a *dad*, if anything.

(his mother interpreted this as him just being a little contrarian asshole as he was often wont to do, rather than it possibly being an indicator of something deeper.)

but, beyond that, sal didn't put much thought into it, and once he started working for the mob, he threw out any idle fantasies about fatherhood. it was never something he was super interested in, and after a certain point he figured he wouldn't be able to take care of a kid anyway. men like him don't have children, and that's fine.

(part of this also tied into sal's internalized ideas about gender and sexuality--he wouldn't be able to have children the "traditional" way for a man, so what was the point?)

then, when sal was with bruno, he actually began considering the idea of becoming a father again. bruno talked about it a lot, and he suggested several times that he and sal should run away together, have some kids, and just... be happy. and y'know, sal really liked that idea, up until bruno made it clear that he expected sal to detransition and be his wife in that scenario, tying sal being a *woman* to the fantasy of being happy and having a family. so sal threw it out again once things ended with bruno, and he decided that was it. he wasn't meant to have a family, even *if* he wanted to.

and then sal was killed and became a vampire, and he had much bigger things to worry about.

so, to finally answer your question: salvatore doesn't think of himself as a parental person. even when he considered it previously, he didn't take it super seriously. he isn't caring enough, and he's not a *good* man, so who would trust him with a kid?

(and then he ends up with a kid anyway, but this post isn't about izzy.)

Would he be a good father? A strict one? A lax one?

salvatore is actually pretty decent as a father! he's not so good at the emotional aspect, but he actually... treats kids as people. which sounds weird but in all verses where he ends up raising kids, he has a particular kind of gruff compassion for them where he doesn't like to talk down to them and instead tries to be like... honest and upfront and *listen* to them. he's not very good at it every time, emotionally stunted as he is, but he's actively trying.

he's the product of a household where he was treated as a burden by the adults in his life, and he'd never want to make a kid feel that way if he could do anything about it.

though, and i hate to say it, i think sal is actually a bit better equipped in many ways to care for a daughter than a son. not to say he's *incapable* of raising a son, but that would require him to deal with the toxic masculinity he was raised with *much* more directly or risk actually hurting the kid. (not to say he wouldn't have to with a daughter, but still! sal's got very bad internalized ideas about gender, and it's hard to drop those.)

in terms of how strict he'd be, i think sal would be pretty strict, but not overly so. he expects his kids to have their shit together and not slack off, but i also think he's not the type to just dish out abusive punishments in the name of discipline. again, he treats kids as people rather than little aliens or dogs he has to train and keep in line.

sal values loyalty and obedience, but not *unquestioning* obedience. he's the kind of dad who's completely fine with his kids calling him a dick and not showing him *respect* if they feel he doesn't deserve it. but at the same time, he wants them to understand that he's on their side. even if they disagree, he's on the same side.

so, overall, i think he'd be a pretty good dad by the time he actually has any kids. i'd like to mention tho that he does have previous experience trying to care for a child pre-vampirism, and it goes fucking horribly, but we'll get into that here in a sec...

Could he be there for a kid at all, physically and emotionally?

physically? yes. emotionally? it definitely depends.

salvatore struggles deeply with emotional vulnerability, and though he gets better by the time he ends up with any kids, he's still not *perfect* by a long shot. it's hard for him to be open, and it's hard for him to encourage that same openness in others. however, he's actively trying.

he encourages his kids to just... talk to him, and he can listen. he can't always offer good advice for tricky emotional or social matters, but he can listen and he can take their worries and struggles seriously.

(like in my plotting with teddy, we've talked about sal sitting down with stan and just hearing him out regarding his family and depression, in a way no one has before. actually listening to him and letting him vent. not just brushing him off and taking his struggles and concerns seriously. and in the end, sure, sal doesn't really have any advice to offer, but he can at least make it clear to stan that he's not alone and that there *is* at least one adult in his life who takes him seriously.)

(contrasting this, though, with a scene between victor and sal, when sal is in his mid-20s and victor is 14. victor comes to sal after a traumatic event and seeks out comfort, but sal shuts him down pretty brutally and tells him that he needs to *stop fucking crying* and get his shit together, or he'll be easy prey for any of the men around them. very much speaking from experience, because that's what happened to sal. but at that point, sal isn't capable of breaking the abusive cycles he's been trapped in, and it results in him *really* fucking victor up for a while. post-vampirism, he's much better about this, but pre-vampirism sal is a toxic little cunt with a chip on his shoulder.)

as for being there *physically*, oh, very much so. sal is definitely an overprotective dad in many respects, completely unafraid to throw down to protect them. he's always been an acts of service motherfucker, so the best way salvatore knows how to show affection is *physical* action and being there. no kid of his is gonna wonder if sal cares about them, if he has anything to say about it.

best example for this.. this post isn't about his daughter izzy, but on several occasions, izzy threatens her bullies by telling them that her dad's gonna kill them if they don't stop. and she's not wrong! sal definitely wouldn't just go be violent with a child, even a little *shit* of a child, but he's not afraid to put the fear of god into them a bit if they mes with his baby. sal backs up and protects his own, especially children.

and lastly. i just wanna share. salvatore's approach to parenting in many ways is, like... "no one protected me, and i'm not making the same mistake with you. i'll make sure you stand on your own, but i'll always catch you if you fall."

#❝ ain't no jesus here‚ billy boy ❞ 「 ooc 」#❝ i'll talk your ear off‚ kid ❞ 「 answered 」#❝ there i was‚ a gangster turned vampire on the loose ❞ 「 headcanons 」#chaieyestea #//spelled ur url wrong last time :(#//also yeah i ran to finish this immediately after you said sal is a comfort character for you now #//don't worry about it <3 #abuse cw #transphobia cw #misogyny cw #//just in case? all three are barely mentioned but still

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gunsli-01 · 1 year

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Valentines day Prisoner good points

Haruka, as silly as it is he's a good listener even if it's because of his upbringing he tries his best to listen and now actively engage with others. Though when he's comfortable, he can become intuitive and respond quickly to circumstances.

Yuno despite her coldness she seems to be genuinely empathetic willing to match the atmosphere of those around her and only push things just the right amount. Probably the type to want to just stay home but would be willing to do something big on this day for the right person.

Futa ah he's not the best when it comes to being socially inclined but- for as much as he kicks up a fuss he's at least active in trying to work towards solutions that take all parties into consideration. Even if he doesn't have the social skills or understanding of people needed to properly mediate altercations of any kind.

Mu unlike Futa she does have an inkling of mediation skills that would be well suited in any situation. Now, while she's not the most outwardly considerate or empathetic, she attempts to make up for this through gift giving. She has her own unique ways of showing affection but could probably learn a bit more about being direct from Futa or Kotoko. However, strong suits are she's strong-willed, fashion savvy, and would probably be genuinely fun to hang out with.

Shidou strong suits he minds the business that's paus him. Shidou for all I know about him doesn't seem to overstep boundaries or ask more questions than necessary. He's a bit to content with acting on his own without the input of others but he tries to respect others actions and feelings towards what he's done. He doesn't seem like one to push the needle which is nice from someone his age because the older you get the more opinionated you become and a lot of people find it hard to keep things to themselves. Prime example being me right now.

Mahiru while she strives towards being the ideal woman cooking, cleaning, styling Mahiru is best when she's on her own. She has a quiet kind b ess and maturity to her that makes her comfortable to be around. Because it feels like she's not expecting anything from anyone making affection from her seem unconditional which can be comforting to a lot of people who were always expected to perform in some way.

Kazui, he's fun. He gossips about workplace affairs and is a rather active communicator. However, he discusses things in a flippant/casual way that makes talking to him fun and relaxing instead of tedious or stunted. I also like hearing gossip so that's a plus.

Amane, hm, as hardworking as she seems, I think it's best when she's just relaxing. Amane is good a creating a open atmosphere and isn't one to harp on things she may not understand yet. Sure she won't eat sweets but when she takes the time to relax and talk to the others she seems to enjoy herself in a quietly unrestrained way.

Mikoto, don't bother your service or office workers this Valentines Day. Best feature he's so fucking tired and dude so am I. Don't ask that person at work if they have plans today as small talk don't go love is in the air today huh to someone working the register. Just finish your transaction or shift and leave. Good points ah ha ha it's not good to be a working adult but at least in Milgram he could get a break. He tries his best but jeez he seems tired.

Kotoko she's a go-getter, studious, and seems to have many skills. Though she isn't worldly enough to apply them in a useful way.

#milgram

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letters-to--the-void · 4 months

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an expression of thanks

how do you write a letter to someone you've never met -- someone who may never know of your existence? it's a question I've grappled with over much of the last year since discovering Sleep Token has changed the trajectory of my life. naturally, it follows that I feel a great deal of gratitude toward the band as a whole as well as the individuals behind the music.

Vessel, you'll probably never know who I am. we'll probably never meet; you won't see my face or know my name. just as you are meant to be an enigma to us -- a blank slate that serves only to portray the art as it is meant to be -- so many of us fans are to you. the intentional disconnect between the artists, the art, and the fans further divorces a rapidly growing fanbase from any sort of personal connection to those responsible for the gift of this music, and make no mistake; I respect the creative vision and intention behind this decision immensely. however, as someone who owes so much to this art, it makes it difficult for me to feel I can ever adequately express my appreciation for all this music has done for me.

without getting into too much detail, my early independent adult life has been challenging. I found myself in an unhealthy living situation, a job that takes advantage of me, and a relationship in which my boundaries and needs are neither acknowledged nor respected. every way I looked, I felt trapped between a rock and a hard place, and like a seedling growing through cracks in the pavement, I allowed myself to be stunted and forced into the shape of something I was not. I fell into a complacency where nothing really moved me; I was going through the motions day to day, no longer really feeling or caring about anything at all. I couldn't move myself to engage in the hobbies that once brought me joy; couldn't even find the energy to care.

one day I stumbled across Sleep Token. I'm someone who's always had quite a diverse but specific taste in music, an "I like what I like" kind of person if you will. I wasn't immediately taken with the songs that I sampled, but a couple days later I felt compelled to go back & listen through the entire discography, which is a rarity in and of itself as I've never been the type to even listen through an entire album, much less an entire discography. with each song, I fell a bit deeper until I was consumed by it.

yours is the first band to truly make me feel seen and understood; the first to communicate experiences and feelings in such a way that I knew there was someone else out there who had felt the way that I have. this music became a remedy for my tired existence. listening to some songs feels like picking at a wound, yet in a cathartic way. there is recognition of the fact that there is indeed a wound, but its very existence also suggests that healing is possible. other songs are a comfort like a hand upon the shoulder, reassuring you that all will be fine with time; the warm embrace of someone who cares, promising that they will be there to hold your pieces together when you inevitably break.

this art slapped me out of the sense of complacency and despondency I'd fallen into. it reminded me that I am alive and that there are still mysterious and beautiful things worth living to discover if only I can find the strength and bravery to fight long enough to see them. it told me that I am not alone in my struggles with mental health and toxic relationships; that I am worth more than the abuse and that I am capable of breaking the cycle. it taught me that everything is a cycle, but nothing lasts forever. I can repeat my lived experiences or I can create a new beginning. I can be who I've always been or I can become someone new; someone who is capable and deserving of more, someone who makes different choices and lives a different life.

I have a long way to go. I'm still stuck in a workplace that doesn't truly value me and partnered with someone who doesn't understand or respect me, but the difference is stark. I recognize and care that these situations aren't right for me, and I'm taking steps to rectify these issues. not only is this music now an incredible comfort and support to me, but I've met a lovely community of fellow fans, some of whom are now very close and incredibly dear to me and have proven to be a phenomenal support system. it's been a bit less than a year since I discovered Sleep Token but in that time frame, this music has inspired me to push my comfort zone, meet new people, and do things I otherwise would not have done. in fact, if someone had told me at the beginning of 2023 what the rest of the year would look like, there's not a snowball's chance in hell that I would believe them. ST's music has even reignited my love for music, which was something I was deeply involved with in my teenage years but got out of as I grew older, as we oftentimes seem to do with our teenage hobbies.

I don't know where I would be without this music, but there's a fair chance I might not be around to write such a letter. this art found me in my time of need. it sounds melodramatic, but I'd never discovered anything that gives me as much comfort, strength, and reassurance as this music. though I wish I could give so much more, I'm afraid that all I can offer is this simple thanks and my endless love and support for this project. please remember that you are precious, irreplaceable, and so very loved. your art is changing and saving the lives of many. never doubt your worth. I wish you all the best that life has to offer. as long as ST is around, I'll still be supporting, singing, cheering from the crowd... worshipping.

endlessly, gratefully yours.

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misscarolineshelby · 3 years

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A New Life

Part Nine: First Night Away

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 3,605

Warning: Angst, Smut

Original Blogger: @queenshelby

The long weekend trip to Kerry was fast approaching and you hired a car to drive there with Max with the view to visit your cousin on the way.

You were the first one to arrive at Cillian’s holiday house on Thursday afternoon and were thankful for the GPS and the fact that Max slept the whole way through.

The house was not far from many beautiful walking tracks and was even somewhat secluded. It was a large house, but somewhat dated and it was obvious to you that Cillian liked to keep the old charm of the house rather than turn into something modern.

‘Are these your sheep?’ you said as you stepped out of the car and Cillian greeted you after having heard your car pull up.

‘No, they belong to the neighbours’ Cillian said and you looked around somewhat confused. There was no other house nearby.

‘Neighbours?’ you chuckled and Cillian nodded.

‘Yes, they live a kilometre up this way’ he said, pointing north, before asking you to come inside.

The house was beautiful and featured a new but rustic kitchen and three bathrooms. The living room contained a large stone fire place and there were five bedrooms.

‘I am sorry that you have to bunk with Laura’ Cillian said as he carried your bag to one of the rooms after having shown Max where he will be sleeping with his two cousins and a friend’s young son named Connor.

‘Well, I thought that you would be sharing a room with her after the rumours I have heard’ you winked and Cillian couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Rumours, eh? What have you heard?’ he then asked and, whilst you knew that you should have kept this to yourself, you couldn’t.

This was all you had been thinking about for the past two days and you were seriously bothered by the fact that Cillian and Laura had shared an intimate moment together.

‘I’ve heard that you and Laura shared a kiss’ you said, pretending not to be bothered by it.

‘If, by sharing a kiss, you mean that she forced herself on me when she had too much to drink then yes, the rumours are true’ Cillian laughed rather amused.

‘That’s not how I heard it. Apparently, you guys had a moment’ you said surprised but Cillian shook his head.

‘The kiss wasn’t mutual Y/N. She was drunk and I am actually quite surprised that she remembered it at all. I had to take her back to her hotel room and help her lie down. That’s how wasted she was’ Cillian said somewhat amused and you couldn’t help but start laughing as well.

‘Well, I think she might actually like you Cillian. It was more than a stupid drunk moment for her’ you explained somewhat concerned but Cillian still didn’t take you serious.

‘I am not interested in her Y/N’ Cillian then confirmed.

‘I don’t care if you are’ you then said with blushing cheeks which is when you heard Cian’s car pull up as well.

***

The afternoon went fast and, while Cillian, Cian and their mutual friend Liam prepared dinner, Laura, Evelyn and you played a boardgame with the children in front of the fire place.

After dinner and after all of the children went to bed, you opened two bottles of wine and enjoyed some time just between adults, talking and joking together before your big day tomorrow.

Laura tried her best to get closer to Cillian throughout the evening, sitting next to him whenever she could and teaming up with him during a game of trivia.

You tried not to let this bother you while Cillian behaved just as he would normally without letting her get too close after what you had told him.

But Laura didn’t give up and would, occasionally, brush her hand over Cillian’s arms or otherwise try to make physical contact with him.

You couldn’t help but cringe every time you noticed it and Cillian had become almost oblivious to her actions as the night went on and she had a few glasses of wine to drink yet again.

Eventually, Evelyn and Laura decided that they drank enough. They both wanted to be ready for the hike tomorrow and decided to go to bed at around 10 o’clock that evening, leaving you to sit in front of the fire place with Cian, Liam and Cillian.

‘I might just quickly change into my pyjamas so that I don’t wake you when I come in’ you suggested to Laura who, surprisingly, you had been getting on with perfectly fine that day.

‘Sure, thanks’ Laura said as you followed her into the bedroom. You knew that, sharing a bad with her would be awkward, but you knew that space was limited.

***

‘Where did everyone go?’ you asked surprised when you returned to the living room after you got changed and saw that only Cillian was left sitting there with his glass of wine.

‘To bed’ he chuckled before topping up your glass and handing it to you. It was obvious that he wasn’t tired yet.

‘Wow, alright…old farts’ you joked while, the truth was, that you didn’t really mind at all. You enjoyed spending time with Cillian on your own and you quickly got talking again, about literature, art and theatre which were all the things you couldn’t talk about when Cian or the others were around.

Then, eventually, the topic of past relationships came up again and you talked about that for at least twenty minutes until you decided that it was enough. It had become too depressing and Cillian wanted to put an end to the conversation.

‘You know, just fuck him Y/N. I think you just have to enjoy life without thinking too much about it and ignore the people who want to interfere with it’ Cillian said after you told him about the latest stunt your ex-boyfriend had pulled back home, alleging that you had cheated on him which was far from the truth.

‘I love your no fucks given attitude; you know that?’ you then smiled. Of course, you knew that he was right about it. You couldn’t let this sort of behaviour bother you. But somehow, it did. It annoyed you and made you angry.

‘This kind of attitude comes with age’ Cillian grinned before looking up at the sky featuring a cloud-free star-scape overhead through one of the large skylight windows in the living room.

‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it?’ you said, looking up as well, and Cillian agreed with your observations.

‘You know, I really enjoyed the night we shared with each other last week’ you then said to break the silence in the room, causing Cillian to look at you with his piercing blue eyes.

‘Me too’ he responded, smiling and waiting for you to say something else. It was almost like he was lost for words.

‘I was thinking that…perhaps…we should do this again some time’ you then said, unable to take your eyes of him.

‘Y/N, I think that would be a bad idea. As I said earlier, I don’t want to be in a relationship right now’ he explained and you told him again that you didn’t want to be in a relationship either.

‘I am going back home in six weeks Cillian. It would just be sex, occasionally, now and then, whenever we feel like it. No strings attached’ you explained, causing him to cock an eyebrow and sigh.

‘Well, you just said to me before that, sometimes, you just have to enjoy life without thinking too much about it’ you reminded him with a wicked smile, causing Cillian to laugh.

‘Whilst this was not what I had in mind when I told you to enjoy life, I think that I may be open to your proposal’ Cillian then smirked and, just as he did, you got up from your seat and stood in front of him, leaning down slightly and cupping his face.

‘Would you just?’ you teased, biting your lips seductively before pressing them onto Cillian’s lips who, without hesitation, gave into the kiss.

‘I would. In fact, sleeping with you again had been on my mind’ Cillian admitted after your lips drifted apart and, as soon as Cillian put his wine glass down, you crawled onto his lap which is where you could feel his erection poke eagerly against the fabric of his jeans.

‘Clearly you have. You are so hard for me already’ you breathed out teasingly in between sensual kisses all the while you were grinding yourself against him, allowing your own core to get some friction.

‘We can’t risk doing this out here Y/N’ Cillian said eventually as he felt himself getting even more aroused than he already was. You talking dirty to him was the icing on the cake and there was no turning back now.

‘Let’s take it to your bedroom then’ you suggested while getting off Cillian’s lap and straightening up your clothes but, to your surprise, Cillian shook his head.

‘I think we should wait until we get back to Dublin’ Cillian said, causing you to pout.

‘Why?’ you asked, running your hand over his crotch seductively, teasing his hard cock through the fabric of his jeans.

‘Because your brother could hear us and I am very keen to live another day’ Cillian chuckled, but you wouldn’t let down.

‘I need you to fuck me tonight, Cillian. I am serious. I am all horny now. Feel that’ you demanded while taking hold of his hand and pushing it beneath your cotton pyjama pants and inside your panties.

‘Jesus Y/N. You are soaking’ Cillian said in a low groan while pushing his finger inside you slightly.

‘That’s just what you do to me Cillian. Now take me to your bedroom and fuck me’ you demanded while grinding yourself against his hand.

‘Alright, but you need to be a good girl for me and stay quiet. Can you do that?’ Cillian then asked before taking your hand and, of course, you nodded eagerly.

***

Within minutes, you found yourself in Cillian’s bed with his bedroom door locked from the inside.

You were both almost completely naked, facing each other and sharing playful kisses.

As you were kissing, you pressed your hand against Cillian’s chest, then running your fingers over his back and then back down over his stomach until your fingertips were just tracing under the waistband of his Calvin Klein briefs.

‘You know how often I’ve been thinking about you over the past week?’ Cillian then asked as he took you by surprise, suddenly kissing you back hard, leaning into you, and thrusting the hardness of his erection between your thighs, which opened in an instinctive response.

‘Me too. In fact, I’ve been fantasising about you fucking me while I am masturbating’ you moaned as your head went back and you groaned softly as he kissed up down your neck with an insistence that was completely irresistible. You threw your leg over his hips and pulled him into you.

You could hear Cillian’s breath becoming harder and more ragged now as you ran your hand down into his underwear to free his glorious, throbbing cock from its restrictions.

You pulled your hips back so you could run your hand up and down his thick shaft, and play with the drop of precum that was oozing from the head with the tip of your finger and, without even thinking, you brought the finger up to your lips so that you could taste him.

‘Jesus Y/N, that’s so fucking sexy’ Cillian groaned in approval.

He had one arm under your neck and the other cupping your ass under your panties, pulling you into him, before you felt him reach down the back of your thigh beneath the stretching elastic.

He then slid his fingers up the front of your eagerly parting legs, teasingly fingering your outer folds where you knew he could feel how your pussy was suddenly flooded with warmth and wetness.

‘So, fucking wet for me…I can’t wait to slide my cock inside you’ Cillian whispered as you tried to stifle your delighted moan as he breathed into your ear.

‘I need it so badly Cillian. I need your cock inside me’ you moaned in response and, with one motion, he pulled your panties down to your knees, where they were easy for you to wriggle out of. More clumsily, but no less hungrily, you pulled at the elastic and cotton that still covered the base of Cillian’s straining cock and his balls, until he took pity on you and pulled off his underwear.

For a moment, the feel of Cillian’s naked body pressed against yours took your breath away, and you could hear that he had the same reaction. His lips found yours in the middle of your intake of breath, kissing you passionately.

You gasped as he broke away and gave you another quick kiss on your neck while rolling you over onto your back. Cillian’s body was protective on top of you and his hips were pressing into yours while the head of his cock flirtatiously and teasingly brushed against your outer folds.

‘Please, I need you inside me’ you begged again as, breathlessly, you reached down and pulled him towards you, one hand pulling at his hips, the other desperately, thirstily trying to guide the head of his cock into the wetness of your screaming, impatient, painfully empty pussy.

Cillian resisted one more second while he covered your mouth with his and then, finally, after what seemed like eternity, plunged all the way into you.

‘Oh god yes’ you moaned loudly into Cillian’s mouth which was a completely involuntary response to the feeling of him thrusting so deeply and forcefully inside you.

But your moaning didn’t stop there. Instead, you continued to moan loudly as Cillian began to move inside you.

‘Shh’ he whispered past your lips after he pulled away from the kiss and he quickly covered your mouth with his hand instead.

You nodded in response as he started moving very slowly but deeply in and out of you, holding each stroke at its deepest point, filling you up entirely.

You smiled, and kissed the palm of his hand that was pressing across your lips to show him that you remembered that Cian and Evelyn were in the next room.

When Cillian saw that you got control of yourself, he moved his hand caressingly down your neck, to your breast, and down to play with your clit.

The other hand grabbed your leg up onto his shoulder, pulling you up onto his cock as he thrusted downward, over and over, establishing that perfect rhythm that was at once too rapid for your sensory overload, and too slow for your insatiable, hungry need for him.

As you looked up at Cillian you could see his eyes burning down into yours, turning you on even more.

Within no time, you clenched down on him hard with your muscles mid-stroke, your pussy pulling him back into you just as he was pulling out, and this time it was your turn to reach your fingers up to his lips to hastily and tenderly stifle the resounding groan that was nearly wrenched from him in response.

‘You feel so fucking wet and tight around my cock’ Cillian whispered before he leaned down to kiss you.

As you shared a passionate kiss, Cillian suddenly thrusted hard and unyieldingly into you once more, and again, and again, cutting off your moans with a gasp of overwhelming pleasure.

‘Oh god yes yes yes’ you moaned as quietly as you could as he continued this new pace unrelenting, driving into you with forceful, fierce, inexorable, remorseless, incredibly deep and increasingly intense, insistent thrusts.

When Cillian was sure that you were not going to cry out in spite of the mind-blowing pleasure, he slowly sat back upright. His hands were holding you down on his cock as he shifted positions, and then spreading both your legs wide so he could go even deeper.

Fucking you hard and deep, you watched from above as you arched your back and bit your lip in mute ecstasy, gazing back up at him as your hand strayed down to work your swollen, pulsing clit. The feeling was so incredible it took literally all your self-control to not scream as you rode closer and closer to orgasm on the grinding girth of Cillian’s cock.

‘I am so close Cillian’ you moaned quietly and, just when you thought you couldn’t take too much more, you saw Cillian’s jaw clench and heard him draw a deep breath.

‘So am I’ Cillian groaned just as you felt his body shudder and his cock swell inside you, which is when you let go.

Your head was thrown back and your eyes were tightly shut as you started to cum. Your lips were also pressed shut as you concentrated on not making a sound, feeling wave after wave of pleasure roll down your body and ring through your pussy, until you felt Cillian reach down, his fingers at the back of your neck and his thumb against your mouth, compelling your eyes to snap open and meet his as he surged into you, flooding you with his warm cum as quietly as he possibly could.

Coming in sync like this with him was surreal and, whilst you didn’t let yourself go completely to avoid being too loud, it was intense. Seeing the fire in each other’s eyes and feeling the passion build up between your bodies was all you needed.

‘I needed this so fucking bad’ you huffed out, relieved, when Cillian collapsed onto you and you wrapped your arms and legs around him, pulling him close and kissing his ear, his cheek, his forehead and then his lips as your bodies trembled and you both gasped for breath.

‘I am sorry for not being more experimental tonight but I don’t like the fact that your brother is right next door’ Cillian whispered as he stayed there on top of you for a minute, breathing hard into the hair just behind your ear and absently kissing your neck.

‘It was perfect Cillian’ you said rather satisfied by what you had achieved within 45 minutes while Cillian carefully pulled out of you, causing some of his cum to leak onto the sheets beneath you.

You both rolled to your sides, facing each other before you resolved into an uncontrollable flood of silent kisses and caresses. Cillian was still holding you close to him and you felt at ease and ready to fall asleep in his arms once again. But, you knew that you had to get up and get into your own bed instead so that you wouldn’t raise any suspicions.

‘I better go and sneak back to my room’ you eventually said but Cillian wasn’t quite ready to let you go despite the fact that it was already 2 o’clock in the morning and you were scheduled to get up for your hike at 7am.

‘Not yet, stay just a little longer’ Cillian said before kissing you again gently and you continued like this for another ten minutes before calling it a night.

After you said goodnight to each other, you tippy toed back into your room where Laura was sleeping deeply.

You climbed into the bed beside her, not sure whether you could fall asleep after what you had just been doing. You also felt a sense of shame, being there right next to her after having been with the man she desired. But this sense of shame you were feeling was quickly taken over by more lust for Cillian as, after you pulled the doona over your body, you could feel another gush of Cillian’s cum leak from your core and into your cotton panties. The thought of his cum being inside you made you all excited again. You wanted more, so much more. You knew that you were in for more wet dreams and regretted not having demanded a second round from Cillian before you left his room, knowing that he was very much capable of going again.

***

The following morning, when your alarm went off at 7 o’clock, you stumbled into the kitchen, yawning and with dark circles beneath your eyes.

Cillian was already sitting on the kitchen table in his pyjamas, drinking his coffee and trying to maintain a conversation with Cian who appeared rather lively. Cillian, on the other hand, did not. He was clearly still tired and even a little exhausted.

‘Good Morning, Sister’ Cian said, smiling and handing you a cup of coffee which you gladly accepted.

‘You obviously stayed up late. You look tired’ he then said while Cillian gave you an innocent wink when Cian looked the other way to grab some sugar for Evelyn’s coffee.

‘Yes, I had a few more glasses of wine by the fireplace’ you said, cheeks blushing as you watched Laura sit down next to Cillian and trying her luck again, flirting with him and trying to get his attention.

Tag List:

@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15 @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r @tellingyouastory @captivatedbycillianmurphy @namelesslosers @littlewhiterose @ttzamara @ttzamara @cilleveryone

@peaky-cillian

@severewobblerlightdragon @ysmmsy

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you

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storiesforallfandoms · 3 years

Text

like i’m gonna lose you ~ machine gun kelly

part one

word count: 2276

request?: kind of?

description: after a painful reconnection, he decides to prove to her that he will do anything to get her back

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

based (partially) on this song

masterlist

As he promised, the news of Colson and Megan’s “breakup” came a few days after our discussion. The news broke first on an few online tabloids, then Colson took to his social media to “confirm the rumors”.

“We’re just not right for one another,” he wrote in his post. “I still love Megan as a friend, and we’re going to stay in each other’s life. We both want our privacy during this time.”

Strangely enough, the conversation we had plus the actual confirmation that the fake relationship was over gave me a better sense of closure than our actual breakup had. I knew why Colson had ended things, and I knew that what he had with Megan wasn’t real and that it was over for good now. It was better than thinking he had suddenly stopped loving me after all those years.

Even with that closure, though, I stayed true to my word. Colson unblocked me and re-followed me on all his social media, and let me know he had unblocked my number from his phone by sending me a text. But I wouldn’t budge on trying to get back together with him. With the closure I had, I was starting to feel like I could move on from our breakup and be somewhat happy again.

It was hard to completely move on, though, when Colson was still trying to reach out to me constantly. He respected my boundaries and would stop whenever I asked him to, but it also didn’t take too long before he would message me again. Part of me wanted to block him back - it would’ve been beyond satisfying to reverse the roles on him and leave him blocked and heartbroken without explanation. But I was also enjoying getting to talk to him again, even if I knew it would lead to more heartbreak eventually.

The day I arrived home from work to find him sat on my doorstep, I felt something snap inside of me. The built up anger and sadness from the past year was finally bubbling over, and I had the exact person who had caused it all sat on my doorstep.

I got out of my car and slammed the door so hard I was shocked the windows didn’t shatter. “Colson, you can’t just fucking show up on my doorstep unannounced. This is borderline stalking now.”

“I want to talk like adults but you just keep brushing me off,” he retorted. “What else am I supposed to do?”

“Respect my fucking boundaries maybe? Realize that if I’m telling you that I don’t want to talk to you or see you that I actually fucking mean it?”

He stood from the doorstep and shoved his hands in his pocket. “I know that you mean it.”

I glared at him as I tried to shove past him to get through my door. He moved to stand in my way again, which just made me feel even more angry.

“If you know that I mean it,” I hissed, “then leave me the fuck alone Colson. You’ve hurt me enough, I don’t want to see you anymore.”

“I know I hurt you,” he said. “And I know that there’s nothing I can do to fix that, but please, let me try at least.”

“You did try, and I turned you down, remember? Now fuck off.”

I managed to push him out of my way in order to get into the house. He stood on my doorstep watching me for some time, and I knew that meant he wasn’t going away. No matter how hard I wanted to let him go, I knew my heart wasn’t going to let me. I sighed heavily and turned to face him.

“This is your last chance,” I told him. “You can come in and we can talk like adults, but just know that whatever decision I make after this is my final decision. No more of this harassing me and showing up on my doorstep. If I tell you to leave and you show up again I will call the cops on you, and I have a feeling that’s the last thing your manager wants.”

Colson nodded and followed me into my house.

I watched as he looked around, taking in the familiar place that he once called a second home. Very little had changed since we broke up, except for the fact that I got rid of all the pictures I had of the two of us. I was sure he had noticed that.

“Your place was always so much cozier than mine,” he commented.

“It’s cause it’s smaller,” I told him. “Your place is good for all the people you have over, but when it’s just you and Casie it’s far too big.”

“It is,” he agreed. “I would prefer to live in a place like this.”

“You could’ve,” I found myself muttering. Unfortunately, I said it a little too loud and Colson caught the comment. His face changed then, a sad wave washing over him.

“I should’ve,” he said. “God, I’m a fucking idiot.”

“We’ve been over that.”

He followed me to the kitchen and sat down at my table. Despite it only being early evening, I decided this moment called for a glass of wine. I poured myself one, and decided to mix Colson a drink with the liquor I knew he liked most.

“Saying I didn’t mean to hurt you is the stupidest thing ever,” he said after taking a giant gulp from the glass. “Of course I was going to hurt you. I broke up with you out of nowhere and then just ghosted you for a year. I guess...I thought that would be easier. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t love you enough to fight for you over my career.”

“I’m glad you realize how shitty and stupid that idea you had was. I wish you would’ve told me from the start what the plan was. I wouldn’t have been as hurt if you had.”

“I know...I know.”

I took a sip of my wine and immediately wished it was something stronger, something that would get me fucked up within minutes of drinking it.

I was mentally kicking myself for letting him back in again. That time at the coffee shop hurt enough and that was an accidental encounter we had. But to actually bring him into my home when I was finally starting to move on? I must really like to be hurt, because it seemed as though I was constantly trying to hurt myself lately.

“What would you have said if I had told you?” he asked. “Truthfully.”

I took a moment to think the situation over, to try and decide how I would’ve reacted if he had told me from the beginning instead of just breaking my heart.

“I still would’ve been hurt,” I admitted. “Not by you but by your manager. He knew about us, and even though we never went public with the relationship, my friends and family know. It wouldn’t exactly have been as easy to explain the whole publicity stunt relationship thing to any of them. I’d probably try to come up with a better solution, and if that didn’t work then...I’d just have to accept it.”

“Would you have stayed with me?”

I was shocked by his question. “Of course I would’ve. Everything between you and Megan was fake, there were no real feelings. Sure, seeing the pictures and everything would’ve hurt, but at the end of the day it would be me you were holding and kissing and actually loving. I probably could’ve been friends with Megan instead of hating her guts.”

Colson looked down at his glass, which was now almost empty. “I thought you would’ve broken up with me if I told you the truth.”

“You don’t know me that well, obviously,” I said. “Colson, there were ways around this. You didn’t have to break my heart.”

I could see that his eyes were starting to become more wet with tears. He was trying to hide them, but once his eyes starting welling up, his nose and his cheeks became flush and I could see his Adam’s apple bobbing as he tried to swallow his tears.

“I fucking hate him, man,” he finally said, his voice cracking slightly. “He’s supposed to help me with my career, not put my career first over my own life and my happiness. And I hate myself too for thinking the best way to deal with this was to break up with you completely.”

I sat back in my chair, unsure of what to do. I wanted to comfort him, of course, but I didn’t want him to think that crying was going to get him off the hook. I was glad he was feeling my pain, but fuck did I ever hate to see Colson cry.

“I hated you, too,” I admitted. “I slandered your name to anyone who would listen. Eventually my friends got sick of hearing the name Colson Baker come out of my mouth, but they all knew how hurt I was.”

“Do you still hate me?”

I shook my head. “No. I never truly hated you. I just wanted to hate you, because hating you was easier than still being in love with you and watching you fall in love with someone else.”

He started to reach for my hands, but pulled away just as quickly. He sat back in his own chair, putting as much space between the two of us as possible. “There could never be anyone else. You’re my one and only, (Y/N), you always have been.”

I let the silence wash over the two of us. I wanted to let his words hang over us, to try and digest them and decide how I felt in that moment.

“I had a dream while you were on tour,” I said after a moment. “Well, a nightmare really. We had fallen asleep watching TV on the couch, and when I woke up I couldn’t find you. You weren’t in the house, you weren’t answering your phone, none of your friends or Casie knew where you were. I began to panic. I went driving and drove the entirety of Cleveland looking for you, but I couldn’t find you. Around the end of the dream, I was screaming your name and I could hear you calling back to me, but the more I ran to find you the further away you got. I eventually woke up drenched in sweat and crying because I thought it was real.”

“That was the night you called me,” he said. “I remember I was having a bad night mentally and all I wanted was to have you on the tour bus with me, in my arms. Then you called, and I thought it was like...a sign or something. Something good.”

I couldn’t help but smile at this. “I never told you because I thought it was a stupid nightmare, and I didn’t wanna be one of those girlfriends that calls in need of constant reassurance about their relationship.”

“I would’ve reassured you no matter how many times you called me.”

I looked down at my own glass, nearly empty as well.

“Can we ever go back from this?” Colson asked. “Can we try to start over after what happened?”

“How do you start over after spending five years with someone?” I asked. “We were basically married, how do you just go back to square one after that?”

“Well...you try and gain that trust back, then you try and get things back to how they were before,” he explained. “I don’t expect it to happen overnight, but I can’t be without you anymore (Y/N). It’s driving me crazy, you drive me crazy.”

I felt tears stinging my eyes, and I realized in that moment that Colson was now freely crying in front of me. God, we were both just messes. I wished none of this had ever happened.

“You really hurt me,” I said, my voice just barley a whisper.

“I know,” he said. “I know I did. I don’t expect you to ever forget that. I don’t deserve to be forgiven, I know that.”

“I’ll never forget it,” I confirmed. “But knowing the reasoning makes it easier to forgive.”

When he reached for my hand this time, I met him halfway.

“It won’t be easy,” I told him. “You know that, right? I’m not going to come running into your arms again after a few nights. You have to work for this, Colson.”

“I know,” he repeated. “I’ll do anything, (Y/N).”

Despite my better judgement, I sat forward and looked into his eyes. God, I loved those beautiful blue eyes more than anything in this world.

“You can start by kissing me.”

He nearly jumped over the table at this. He took my face in his hands and pressed my lips against his. I had missed this feeling so much; the pure passion that came with every kiss. I put a hand behind his neck to keep him close. I never wanted to let go ever again.

He pulled away first and rested his forehead against mine. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N).”

“I don’t want to hear those words out of your mouth ever again,” I told him. “We’re forgetting this, remember?”

He smiled. “Okay, then how about these words: I love you.”

I couldn’t help but smile back. The magic words I had longed to hear for so long, they sounded so right coming from his lips. “I love you, too.”

#machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #colson baker #colson baker imagine #colson baker x reader #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #like i'm gonna lose you #meghan trainor

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retvenkos · 3 years

Text

romantic at heart | m.

Legend of Korra - Mako x Reader, fluff

tw: none

word count: 4.6k

A/N: canon? who needs her? certainly not this fic. korrasami deserved to be canon earlier so i vaguely mentioned it, and mako and bolin’s apartment is the perfect setting don’t @ me.

Summary: Mako has always had bad luck when it comes to love, but with (Y/n), things feel easy. So why, then, is it so hard to admit it?

the three times he didn’t say it, and the one time he did.

one;

“I’m telling you guys, this is going to be great! Part Four is my favorite in The Adventures of Nuktuk: Hero of the South!”

Mako shared an amused look with (Y/n) as Bolin led the way into the darkened theater, holding open the door for the group to enter. Asami and Korra passed hand in hand, and when (Y/n) walked past Bolin, they tossed a piece of popcorn at him and Bolin caught it in his mouth.

Mako brought up the rear of the group, and as they walked up to find their seats, he whispered, “How many parts are there, Bo?”

“Seven! And the Finale’s great, don’t get me wrong, but it just doesn’t have the heart that part four does.”

“That’s just because he kisses Ginger,” (Y/n) leaned in and whispered to Mako, earning an incredulous “hey!” from Bolin.

“How’d that work out, by the way?” Asami turned to the earthbender with what sounded like genuine curiosity and Bolin chuckled nervously.

“Ah, well, you know, the hearts of mover stars are fickle, so we didn’t last long… there was something about it being a publicity stunt, but that didn’t make much sense, so…”

“Well it’s her loss,” Korra elbowed Bolin in the side with a smile and he forced a chuckle.

“She doesn’t deserve you, Bo.”

“Yeah, you’re a great mover star.”

A few people in the theater shushed them, and the group settled down into their chairs, just moments before the lights dimmed further and the mover started. The disembodied voice of Varrick boomed through the speakers with a recap of the previous 3 parts of the daring adventure, and everyone fell silent, slowly getting sucked into the mover before them.

Ever since their debut, the Nuktuk movies were a success - a staple of Republic City culture - getting replayed in theatres again and again. After learning that Mako hadn’t seen Nuktuk in its entirety, Bolin called for a state of emergency and got the whole group together so they could schedule a time for a complete rewatch of the seven-part masterpiece.

Mako had been planning to make some excuse - a series of cases that Beifong put him up to, or a slew of paperwork that some higher-paid coworkers pawned off onto him. It wouldn’t be the first time he had to miss something for work, and it wouldn’t be the first attempt at lying to get out of a viewing party. Just three months ago he narrowly avoided a showing of Love amongst the Dragons by faking sickness and saying that Beifong told him to sleep all day so he could be back at work the next. Everyone but Bolin believed him, and Bolin (who didn’t want to see it either but promised Asami he would go) let it slide.

After that, Bolin was better at guessing when Mako was lying, and whenever he needed Mako’s compliance, he set (Y/n) up to the task of cajoling Mako to come along.

So far, their track record had been impeccable.

(Y/n) chuckled at something they saw on screen, and Mako turned to them. “How many cases of Vari-dye do you think Varrick sold after that product placement?” They gestured to the screen where the once blonde Ginger flagrantly mentioned her hair dye product before becoming a, well… ginger. The script was somehow able to loosely tie the product placement into the plot, but the moment earned a couple of well-earned laughs throughout the theater.

“Millions, most likely. Aren’t these movers big in Ba Sing Se?”

“As comedies,” (Y/n) muttered, leaning in, clearly trying to keep their voice down so Bolin didn’t hear. The theater around them was dark and silent, but the light reflected in (Y/n)’s eyes was full of life and mirth. Mako found himself unable to look away.

He cleared his throat, “You do have to give it to Nuktuk and his comedic timing.”

“And Juji’s heart-wrenching death and subsequent resurrection.”

Mako found himself chuckling at their lame joke, and for once, he didn’t mind. (Y/n) smiled triumphantly, as though they had accomplished something truly grand, and angled their bag of popcorn towards Mako. He took some and popped a piece in his mouth, his laughter still dying on his lips.

“Varrick must be quite the director, to get you to laugh in a totally serious, not-a-comedy mover.”

“Varrick?” and there was just enough suggestion in Mako’s words to say all that he couldn’t, though why he couldn’t seem to get anything else out, he didn’t know.

Things were always easy with (Y/n); their smiles were soft and infectious, their tactics in getting him to open up were effortless and effective, and falling in love with them had been the most simple and uncomplicated thing in this world. It should have been with such ease that Mako told them that it was them that got him into the theater and their corny comments that made him burn inside, like a thousand dying comets that took the form of shooting stars.

But for some reason, he was stuck.

Unsurprising, really, Mako had never really had luck when it came to love and even friendship. There was always something complicating things; there were always two sides of him, fighting the other for reasons even he couldn’t fathom. Eventually, one of them would lose. Eventually, something would give.

But until that eventuality…

“I suppose I am quite the comedian. Should I write a screenplay?” (Y/n) was speaking, but something in their demeanor was different - a little stunned - like they hadn’t considered something before and it was only now dawning on them, slowly, but comfortably. Easy. “It would have to be a sequel to Nuktuk, of course. Maybe I can introduce the grumpy, mysterious fire-bender who he’s now forced to share a quest with?”

(Y/n) nudged him in the shoulder, already rolling their eyes at their own idea. Mako looked down, suddenly interested in picking the perfect piece of popcorn. “Yeah. If you’re making it, why not?”

(Y/n) snorted and turned back to the film.

two;

Taking the steps to his apartment two at a time, Mako fished for his keys in the pocket of his pants. Walking the beat had the potential to be more trouble than it was worth, and often Mako found himself at the gym at the end of the day, taking out his frustration the way he used to - pro-bending. Well, not so much pro-bending, anymore, seeing as they disbanded the Fire Ferrets, and dissolved the team, but it was the same training, nonetheless, and Mako had been a pro-bender so long that oftentimes, nothing felt more comfortable than the gym.

As he walked down the hall to his door - second on the right, Bolin had insisted - Mako could hear the sounds of laughter and the beeping of the oven. Despite himself, he smiled, breathing in deeply as he fiddled with the lock and opened the door.

Inside the tiny apartment, (Y/n) and Bolin were working side by side, leaning over the oven as they looked at the baked goods that lay within. The counters were a mess of cluttered ingredients and mismatched bake wear, Pabu had tracked flour across the carpet, and by every measure it was chaotic, but Mako simply leaned against the doorframe, speaking just loud enough to be heard. “Stress baking, again? Y’know, I’m really starting to regret giving you a key.”

"This was all Bolin, actually.” (Y/n) pulled the baking sheet out of the oven and set it down before turning to Mako with their usual countenance. “He told me to come over - he bought a set of mixing bowls and everything.”

“He didn’t buy more counter space?”

“Hey!” Bolin called incredulously through a mouth full of baked goods. Pabu scuttled beneath him, eating the crumbs that fell to the floor. “Counters wouldn’t fit.”

“It’s alright Bo,” (Y/n) nudged his arm with their shoulder, turning back to the task at hand. They used an old spatula to take their masterpiece off of the pan, and Bolin took two from them.

“You have to try this batch, Mako, (Y/n)’s gotten really good at their green tea cookies.”

“Oh?”

Mako shut the door behind him and walked over to the couch. (Y/n) met him halfway with their signature, light green cookie, Mako took it with an appreciative smile. “The secret is in the matcha. I wasn’t putting in enough before, so they didn’t taste right.”

Mako broke off a bit of the cookie, making sure to get a bit that had a white chocolate chip in it, and savored the taste. (Y/n) was watching him with one of their expectant smiles, and he nodded his head, the bittersweet flavor still lingering in his mouth. “These are your best yet.”

“High praise, coming from you.” And there was an edge of sarcasm to their voice, but their eyes were bright. Mako just looked at them for a moment, really looked at them in all of their casual beauty. (Y/n) had moved into his life so early on and so slowly that Mako didn’t know what life would be like without their casual teasing and easy grins.

And, of course, their random (but not unwelcome) bouts of stress baking.

Mako must have been staring a bit too long, because (Y/n) raised a playful eyebrow, and not too long after, Bolin broke the silence. “Uh, Pabu and I have to go, and uh... y’know, do adult stuff, with uh....”

“With Korra?” (Y/n) supplied amusedly, turning to Bolin, who was stuffing a napkin with cookies hurriedly.

“Yeah! Y’know, Avatar stuff...” Bolin shrugged, slipping out the door, only to open it up again and grab his shoes before shoving off again.

(Y/n) scoffed and Mako sighed, calling after him. “Real smooth, Bo!”

A muffled response called out to them, and (Y/n) laughed, walking back over to the kitchen area, where they started to put together another batch of cookies, measuring the sugar with their hands and putting it into a bowl with butter. “I’m surprised you haven’t been kicked out from noise complaints.”

Yeah, well Bolin charmed our neighbors into liking us too much to see us go.”

“His charm does go far, doesn’t it?” Mako watched and (Y/n) moved through his apartment with ease, pulling spoons out of the drawers and cleaning the dishes as they went. Their practiced movements had the surety and preciseness of someone who lived there, and the thought was enough to make Mako’s throat dry.

“So,” Mako cleared his throat and walked over to (Y/n) passing them the egg they were reaching for. “you measure everything with your hands, and yet you’re constantly insisting that baking is a science. How does that work?”

“It’s all in the weight and look of it - a full cup is a far cry from a fourth.” (Y/n) mixed the ingredients together, their brow set in concentration, “Or, at least, that’s what my mom used to say. What I will tell you—” they looked up at Mako rather suddenly, that intensity still alight within them “—is that it’s in how it feels.”

“So the weight of it.”

“Yes... but it’s more than that.” (Y/n) looked at him with their sharp eyes, as though trying to judge something. “Go wash your hands,” and they jerked their head to the side, “I’ll show you.”

Mako didn’t even hesitate to do as they said, and even though Bolin had left, he could hear his voice - a surprised “what...?” - nagging the back of his mind. It was easy to shrug off. It was (Y/n). Everything was easy when it came to them.

“Alright,” (Y/n) said, with a hint of childish excitement, as Mako slung the towel he had used to dry his hands over his shoulder. “Give me your hands.”

Their touch tickled and their fingers - dry and powdery from the flour - grazed over his, opening his palms with a gentle sort of care.

“Here is one cup or so.” (Y/n) grabbed a handful of flour, transferred it to their other hand, and skimmed some off the top before placing it in his. “Yeah, you can feel the weight, and you can see how much there is, but you have to kind of trust that what you're feeling is right, because it’s not always going to feel the same, right? When you’re tired or you’ve been baking all day, things feel different, even though they’re the same.”

“All this for flour?”

“For each cup of flour. We need two and a half.”

“I can see why Bolin asks you to do the baking.” (Y/n) chuckled and guided his hands to the mixing bowl, where Mako let the flour slip out of his fingertips like really fine sand. “But I can tell that you feel it...” the last bit of flour fell out of his hands, but Mako let his hands hover near (Y/n)’s for just a moment longer, “and that’s good enough.”

They smiled, and it has all the serenity and beauty of dawn. “I’ll make a baker of you, yet.” They added more flour to the bowl and started mixing, their gaze flicking up to Mako. “One of these days you’re going to understand the feeling of it.”

“I...” and part of Mako wanted to say that he already did, that his feelings were about the only thing he understood when it came to moments like these, but the words got caught in his throat, and he found himself unable to get them out. “I think we’ll have to do a lot more baking, then.”

three;

Mako ran, the ground beneath his feet steady and his breathing exact. The beauty of Republic City Park surrounded him and in the early morning, when the air was just nippy enough to need a jacket, there were few people to be found. The usual groups of people practicing tai chi or playing Pai Sho weren’t out yet, and the sun was just peaking over the horizon.

Morning runs often gave Mako a sense of clarity - there was very little he could focus on when in fast, forward motion, and everything complicated fell away. It was just him, the ground, and the fire in his veins.

Mako slowed to a jog, and when he found an empty park bench, he sat down, wiping the sweat off of his brow. The shadows were just starting to creep away, losing to the brilliance of the sun and hiding in each recess and tiny alcove. The duck pond in front of him was warming to a crystal-like blue. Mako breathed out and tipped his head back, letting the stillness wash over him, his thoughts slowly catching up with him.

“Mako?”

And at first, he thought it was just his feelings for (Y/n) meeting up with him once more, but then he heard the steady pounding of the pavement and there they were jogging toward him, ushering in the morning with a comfortable pace.

“Heading into work later than usual?” They stopped by the bench and Mako slid over so they’d have room to sit.

“No, Beifong told me to take a day off. I usually do paperwork today, but she handed it off to someone else.”

(Y/n) hummed in acknowledgement. “So you’re joining Asami and me for our run, then?”

"Huh?”

“Asami and I usually go on a run, at this time. We meet here.”

“Asami told me that I should take a run since I wasn’t going into work today.”

Both of them scoffed, relaxing deeper into the metal bench. For a moment they just sat there, taking in the moment, and letting the world dawn on them, a beautiful mixture of colors - a painting slowly completing itself. Eventually, (Y/n) turned to Mako, an eyebrow raised in jest. “Do you reckon they think they’re being slick?”

“Probably - and it’ll only get worse once they get Korra on board.”

“Who’s to say they haven’t already?” The two chuckled, shaking their heads at the efforts of their friends, and (Y/n) knocked their knees together, leaning in a little closer. “It’s alright, I like spending time with you.”

“You’re gonna hate me once we finish this run, though.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to buy me some tea, afterwards.” (Y/n) stood up, stretching their arms and letting out a yawn. “To make it up to me, of course.”

Mako stifled a smile and stood, making a show of his weary sigh. “Alright” —(Y/n) rolled their eyes at him— “You drive a hard bargain.”

They started off at a slow jog, and every minute or so Mako upped the intensity until they were sprinting across Republic City Park, occasionally dodging the wayward soul taking a morning stroll. The world blurred around them, the lush foliage turning into swaths of green with the occasional pinprick of color - purple or yellow, green or blue. As they slowed down, the world became more defined, and when they came to a walk, (Y/n) pulled ahead and turned around so they could walk backwards, facing Mako with a breathless grin.

“You owe me at least a muffin to go along with that tea, after what you just pulled. I almost ran into a woman walking her toddler! Could you imagine what would have happened, had I hit her?”

Mako laughed, still coming down from his high, and (Y/n) grinned at the sound - dazzling and so bright, it put the sun to shame. “Let’s get you out of the park, then, before you start running down Pai Sho players.”

The two fell into step beside each other, taking the path out of the park and into the busy streets. Already, Republic City was booming with life, and the two were rather quick to slip into the quiet tea shop that was just around the corner. Inside, the cafe was fairly empty, with slow music playing from the speakers. (Y/n) closed their eyes and breathed in the smell of freshly-baked muffins, and Mako was quick to look away when they caught him staring.

(Y/n) walked towards the case that held all of the baked goods, trying to read the different types they had displayed. “This is way better than trying to throw something together at my apartment.”

Mako pulled his attention away from the menu board, where he had been searching for the right type of tea. “Your apartment? You mean you actually have a place to go, other than mine?”

“You gave me the key.”

“For emergencies.”

(Y/n) scoffed. “Well, ‘emergencies’ is in clear need of a mutual definition.”

The two ordered, and Mako paid, despite (Y/n) saying they had the money, and when their order was ready, they took a seat in the corner, next to a window that overlooked a busy intersection. (Y/n) insisted they split the muffin and gave half to Mako, and after settling into their more calm atmosphere, (Y/n) turned to Mako.

“So, what are you going to do for the rest of your day off?” (Y/n) took a sip of their tea and fixed Mako with one of those stares - the kind that saw through everything else, and somehow got down to his core. “I can’t imagine this is what you had planned.”

“Uh… I don’t know. I figured I’d go home and work on finding a lead to a case or something.”

“Even though Beifong told you to take the day off?”

“Well, I’m not at the station…” Mako trailed off, suddenly finding great interest in the rim of his cup.

“And you’re not going to work from home, either.” (Y/n) scoffed exaggeratedly, and though Mako was the most incorrigible person they’d ever met. Although, in their defense, he probably was. “Not on my watch.”

“So what, you’re going to find something for me to do all day?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

Mako watched as (Y/n) sat back in the booth, a triumphant yet challenging smile on their face, and he felt the disbelief in his chest melt into something softer. It was there, again, that urge to say something both incredibly brave and terribly stupid; that desire to put all of his feelings into words and express them more truly than anything else.

“Alright,” Mako swallowed and allowed himself a small smile. “If that’s what it takes.

✧ *:･ﾟ

one;

Just when Mako had admitted to (Y/n) that he was an avid reader, he couldn’t remember, but at some point, they had found out, and ever since, the two spent their lazy weekends sprawled out on his sky blue sofa, books in hand. This time, (Y/n) had come earlier than usual, and by midday, they had already finished their novel - a fast-paced murder mystery with just a bit of a redemption arc for one of the main leads. They had talked about (Y/n)’s book while walking down to the market to get the necessary fixings for dinner, and when they came back to Mako’s tiny apartment, he passed them one of his favorites to read - a historical fiction that combined elements of notable legends and recorded history to make an interesting thriller with plenty of easy-to-digest drama.

When (Y/n) took it from him, they took one look at the summary and raised an eyebrow. “This is one of your favorites?” Mako had tried to push down his embarrassment, stuttering out some kind of response, but had just smiled. “It’s not a bad thing, just surprising. I’m sure I’ll love it.”

And they did. For the next hour and a half, the two sat in Mako’s apartment in relative silence, reading separate novels and making the occasional exclamation of shock, betrayal, joy, and surprise. Mako had looked over at (Y/n) occasionally, trying to judge where they were in the book, and whether they were enjoying it just as much as he had, the first time.

At some point in the day, the sun filtering through the window matured into a deeper, golden shade, turning the afternoon into early evening. Mako, who had been thoroughly engrossed in his novel for the better part of the day, stood up from his couch and stretched when he noticed the change in light. Letting out a sigh, he made his way over to the kitchen area. As he started to make dinner for the both of them, Mako missed the way that (Y/n) turned to look at him from their place on the couch, a lopsided grin on their face. They still lay on the turquoise material, sitting upside down with their feet in the air, book in hand and the red couch cushion resting on their stomach, watching as Mako turned on the stove with a click of propane and a bit of fire bending.

It wasn't long before the apartment was full of the comforting smell of Mako's cooking, and soon (Y/n) found it impossible to focus on the page before them. They opted to right themself instead and watch Mako as he finished up, adding the finishing touches to the meal before splitting what lay in the pan into two different bowls.

He handed a bowl to (Y/n) as he settled onto the couch, both of them moving to sit cross-legged, their knees touching. (Y/n) savored the flavor of Mako's signature dish, and he gestured to the book beside them.

"How're you liking it so far?"

"The book? It's great. Perfectly paced, in my opinion, although I wouldn't mind for a little bit more world-building. The time period is so interesting and they could lean into it a little more."

Mako nodded, satisfied with the smile on their face and the eagerness in their tone. "I figured you'd like it. There's a lot happening, but the characters are good enough to carry the story."

"That's a raving review, coming from you." (Y/n) laughed, the sound falling from their lips effortlessly. "And I can see why it's your favorite. You like a good redemption arc, don't you?"

"It's an interesting enough idea."

"A rather sweet one, too. Are you sure you're not a romantic at heart?"

Mako scoffed in response, but even so, he could feel his cheeks burning up, the nagging voice in his head (the one that told him to just confess already, or do something equally as rash) getting louder from conviction. "I think that's you."

"Oh definitely, but there's always room for one more," (Y/n) mumbled through a mouth full of noodles. "And judging by your taste in books, I'd say you already are."

"There's not even a romantic subplot!"

"The main character literally took lightning to the face for his best friend, and then proceeded to say that he’d do it all again, if it meant they could stay together. Are you telling me there isn't something there?"

“You said yourself that they’re friends!”

“C’mon, Mako,” (Y/n) deadpanned, setting aside their dinner so that they could use their hands to punctuate their speech. There was a fire in their eyes, and something restless in the way they moved - like there was something important they were trying to say. “Friendship is clearly just an excuse for them.”

“An excuse?” Mako felt his throat dry. Suddenly, he was acutely aware of their proximity, and the little space that still existed between them - like they were almost touching, and yet oceans apart.

(Y/n)’s hands fidgeted in their lap. “Yeah, like… An easy out when you’re too afraid to go for it...or when you think you’re not enough.” Part of Mako wanted to look away, but (Y/n)’s eyes had caught his gaze too fully and the other part of him battled to stay. For the longest moment, he couldn’t move. “But they love each other - you can see it.”

There was a battle waging war inside Mako; each side fighting the other for dominance, and only one coming out on top. When he spoke, his voice was low, almost like a deep sigh. “Yeah, they love each other.”

(Y/n) smiled, their mouth moving with just the slightest tremble, and part of Mako wondered what had disrupted the ease with which they did everything, but another part of him already knew. Mako reached out and cupped their cheek, the feeling of their skin against his flooding him with courage he didn’t know he had.

“And I love you, (Y/n).”

“About time you confessed to me.” (Y/n)’s eyes sparkled in jest before they surged forward, kissing Mako and igniting the fire in his chest. All he could think about was them and the way they blissfully invaded all of his senses, how soft their lips were, and how strong their hands were, as they wrapped around him, pulling him nearer. When they broke apart, (Y/n) rested their forehead on his.

Then they said it, their voice a whisper that sent him tumbling over the edge, their breath fanning against his cheek.

“I love you, too.”

Mako kissed them again, craving the feeling of their lips against his, chasing after the way they made him feel - like every moment had led to this, like every battle had been worth the struggle. Time seemed to stop, and for a moment, it was as though there was no gravity, and the only thing anchoring Mako to this world was (Y/n), and their touch.

“Like I said,” (Y/n) was smiling when he pulled away, and their gaze made it easy to come back down to earth. “You’re a romantic at heart.”

Mako chuckled and (Y/n) laughed with him, the sound filling the tiny apartment with something undefined but utterly perfect.

“Alright, so maybe I am.” Mako relented, tipping his head back. “But an epic romance doesn’t happen within that book, if that’s what you're after.”

“Well, maybe we’ll have to write a sequel of our own."

-- taglist: message me if you want to be added to a taglist!

#legend of korra #lok #the legend of korra #tlok #mako #mako tlok #mako lok #mako x reader #mako x you #mako imagine #lok imagine #legend of korra fanfic #legend of korra imagine #fluff #reader insert #atla #gender neutral reader #and yeah you can measure flour and stuff with your hands i do it all the time don't @ me

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chibinekochan · 3 years

Text

How to become a Demon Ruler 101

After getting adopted by the Demon King * better known as Diavolos dad *, you get sent to the demon prince castle.

There you are supposed to get your proper education from your new adoptive brother and his butler.

Gn. Reader insert

------------------------

Being summoned to the Devildom out of nowhere is a massive shock to say it lightly.

Yet here I am standing in front of a huge throne in a massive room. An equally impressive man sitting on the throne.

His sheer presence demands my full attention.

I can only swallow my saliva. I'm sure that my life is over.

The demon stares at me, my body naturally trembles.

When he opens his mouth, I hold my breath in anticipation. "Mortal child, I have summoned you here in order to adopt you. Henceforth you shall be recognized as my heir and potential future ruler of this realm." His voice almost shakes the foundation of the room.

My mouth starts moving almost on its own. Before I realized it, words spilled from my mouth. "Wait a moment; I'm an adult. I already have a life in the human world and ruler of the underworld? Do I get no say in this?"

I instantly regret my big mouth. Feeling like his gaze burns a hole through me.

"I have already decided. I'm not concerned about your options. You will stay with my son and will be properly instructed by him. I wish to see results or else I will replace you with someone more capable." His words echo in the huge room.

I know what this implies, I have to play along or I will be dead.

And so in a single moment my whole world is turned upside down.

Without any further explanation I once more find myself in a completely new environment.

This also appears to be a castle or at least an enormous mansion, at least by judging the interior.

I stare in awe at the place, feeling overwhelmed by this whole ordeal.

At this moment I notice a slightly concerned looking man staring at me. Normally I would find this rude, but he is very handsome, so I let it slide.

He gives me the brightest of smiles. Is it possible this day isn't all terrible?

"Welcome to my castle. My name is Diavolo and according to my father we are now siblings. I know this must be a lot to take in, but I'm sure we will get along just fine." Diavolo seems to take this new development pretty easy.

I wonder if he is used to antics like these. Maybe his father pulls stunts like this all the time?

"Hello… To be completely honest I would rather just go back home but I assume that is not an option." I feel a bit wary of him, despite his seemingly welcoming attitude.

Diavolo has an otherworldly feel to him that I can't quite pinpoint, but I'm certain that he is a demon.

"My father can be quite hard headed at times. I know he means well, though. It's been my dream to make our realms come closer, for an extremely long time. I guess this is just how my father decided to help with that." Diavolo sounds nonchalant about this whole situation.

I'm unsure what I can even say to that logic. "Was it necessary to kidnap me?"

"I'm certain there must be better methods but it's too late for that now. Regardless, I'm pretty thrilled to have a little sibling now. So let's do our best to get along." Diavolo smiles at me, bright as the sun.

Somehow I get swept away by his beaming smile and friendly behavior. "Sure, let's do that."

Diavolo seems extremely pleased by my answer, and his smile somehow gets even more beaming.

At this point I start wondering if he might be secretly an angel but I keep that to myself.

"Barbatos will you show my sibling their room?" Diavolo speaks to someone behind me.

I turn my head and am surprised by a man right behind me. I had not noticed him at all. I'm unsure if I should be terrified or impressed.

"Of course, my lord. Please follow me, young liege." Barbatos turns to me with a courteous smile. It's easy to see that he is the butler of my new brother.

It's very hard to say no to this, so I simply give Diavolo a slight bow and follow after Barbatos.

He escorts me deeper into the castle, it looks like a confusing maze to me.

I look in awe at the new scenery. I still can't comprehend that I will stay here.

Then Barbatos stops in front of a door.

I practically run into him.

He opens the door and motions to me to follow him.

Carefully I step inside of the room, unsure what I should expect. The room is extremely luxurious. Even the curtains look more expensive than my entire previous house.

The bed is big enough for at least five people and there are two other doors in the room.

"This is your room. You should be able to find whatever you require. You have your own private bathroom and dressing room. In addition you have a private study, small library and a room to meet with your guests." Barbatos explains everything very calmly.

I hope that I don't have a foolish expression on my face right now. My mind is completely vacant. "Is all of this really for me?" I look at Barbatos, still waiting for someone to wake me up from this dream.

"Yes indeed. You should rest a little until dinner time. I'm sure all of this is quite a lot for you to handle." Barbatos is smiling as usual but I feel like I can see a twinkle of kindness. Maybe I'm just imagining it.

"Alright, umm what kind of clothes should I wear for dinner?" I honestly feel lost and hope they don't expect me to wear some uncomfortable fancy clothes.

"You can keep wearing your current attire but I also supplied your dressing room with some essentials. I know the collection is still relatively lacking, but I was in a bit of a bind since we only heard about your arrival today. I'm sure you will find something that is to your liking." Barbatos seems slightly upset, as if he failed by only getting essentials. Honestly, I can't even start imagining what he finds essential.

“I'm sure that I will find something to wear.” I try to reassure him.

Barbatos looks relieved. "I will let you rest now but please don't hesitate to call me if you find anything missing or have any questions."

I'm about to ask if he will hear me but then I remember that he is a demon and decide to just accept it.

Barbatos silently leaves the room.

Unsure what to do, I stand in the room for a few moments.

Next I decide to look at my new clothes. I hope that Barbatos' work attire is a good sign for his general taste in clothes.

With trembling hands I open the door to the dressing room. It's massive and filled with clothes.

My eyes are wide open. I'm convinced that I forgot to breathe for about a minute.

The sheer amount of clothing is absolutely overwhelming.

Everything looks perfect, so perfect it's kinda scary.

I just step backward and close the door. I'm definitely not prepared for any of these.

In the end I stay in the clothes that are on my body. Barbatos said this would be fine after all.

I look around a bit, but I'm kinda frightened to touch anything and just awkwardly sit down on the bed.

It's extremely soft and comfortable. I wasn't expecting it to be this nice.

I lay down and just enjoy the soft comfort of my new bed for a bit, well at least that's the plan.

- I still haven't decided who the end goal here is. Well it's a ride for sure.

#obey me #obey me fanfiction #obey me fanfic #How to become a Demon Ruler #demon ruler 101 #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #omswd #obey me!#obey me shall we date #i currently vote for both of them lol

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kiribakuficrecs · 3 years

Note

hello!!! im going on a very long trip at the end of april and I'm looking for some very long fics to download to keep me entertained! i dont care what they're about as long as there's no major character death or mentions of non-con. ur blog is a godsend ilysm and you do such a good job thank you so much 🙏

hi there!! i definitely have a lot of good lengthy fics i can recommend to you!

quote love unquote by newamsterdam

Sero nods. “It’s the chance of a lifetime, really,” he says. “We want you to date Bakugou, for the sake of his reputation with the press. Some public appearances, a few ‘candid’ photos. For at least a couple of months.”

“Bakugou sent you to ask me to date him?” Kirishima asks, baffled.

“Of course not. We, his people, are asking you to date him. He’s going to have to get on board, if he wants his career to survive. And in the bargain, Riot will get all sorts of publicity, because their lyricist will be dating one of the industry’s hottest stars. A win for everyone.”

When Kirishima Eijirou's band hits the big time, he's not prepared for his newfound fame. He's even less prepared to meet the actor he's been crushing on for years, or to start dating him as a publicity stunt. The closer Kirishima gets to Bakugou Katsuki, the more he realizes he's in over his head. But it's hard to stop, once his heart is in it.

acceptance and denial by poteto

It all goes okay when Kirishima decides to come out to his friends and it all goes wrong when decides that Bakugou is the best fake boyfriend material.

cause the darks not taking prisoners tonight by imatrisarahtops

“Are those soba noodles?” Kirishima asked.

Again Bakugou’s only reply was a grunt. He offered no further explanation—not that Kirishima honestly expected one—as though making soba noodles from scratch at half past four in the morning wasn’t at all a bizarre occurrence and made complete and total sense. For a fleeting moment, Kirishima even wondered if maybe he was the odd one here. Besides, he’d already decided it was generally not in his best interest to question these types of things with Bakugou, especially when it was something essentially harmless.

When Kirishima has a nightmare and is unable to fall back asleep, he accepts defeat and decides to study in the common area of the dorms. What he doesn't expect to find is Bakugou, also very much awake, and Kirishima can't help but think that maybe they're both having the same problems with sleeping. If he's worried, it's just because they're friends. (Right?)

the weight of your hand by kamin

That night, to the citizens, the explosions were a jolt of fear at every blast, but to the heroes and the students of UA, they were punches and swings, fierce fighting and loud strength. The explosions were the pulse of the battle, and the power of a boy that would never back down.

One after another, explosions set a chorus through the shuddering city.

And then, suddenly—the explosions stopped.

(In which Bakugou’s kidnapping goes a little differently, and just a few seconds could change so much.)

so take my hand (your life will be brighter) by multiclassmaps

When a stranger shows up at the ice rink during Bakugou's usually private training sessions, Bakugou expects to hate him. He doesn't expect to develop feelings that become increasingly difficult to deny, or for them to help each other sort through their emotional baggage. - Bakugou really didn't like Kirishima's smile. There was something about it that made his stomach hurt, something about it that made it difficult to focus. He definitely hadn't thought about that smile on his way to the ice rink that day. He definitely hadn't.

distance makes the heart grow fonder (false) by dragontrappedinhumanskin

When Bakugo and Kirishima get hit by a quirk that forces them to literally stick together or face the less then desirable consequences, how the fuck is Bakugo supposed to keep his crush hidden?! Well, turns out he never needed to.

-- “Well, this fucking sucks, how are we supposed to train?!” "Really closely?"

perihelion by tauontauoff

Bakugou was a comet, blazing out of reach. Kirishima knew he was stupidly lucky that his furious trajectory went by close enough that his fingertips got to graze the cowl of fire. It was enough.

During Christmas Class 1A and 1B spend a laid-back week learning about extreme environment hero work in the Alps. Kirishima was used to keeping part of his feelings for Bakugou hidden, and had every intention of keeping it that way, but things don't always go according to plan.

fight me by mr_todoroki

Bright red, spiky hair. Annoyingly bright smile. Clothes that radiate ‘look at me’ vibes. Neon yellow tank top with black shorts. And those were definitely crocs on his fucking feet.

Yeah, Katsuki hated this guy.

Bakugou gets a new roommate.

quietly by chezka

“We’ve been taking the same way to and from school for weeks,” Kirishima grinned, and then when Bakugou frowned at him he put on an affected pout, tilted his head so that he was looking at him through his thick, long lashes, “you never noticed? Am I that easy to miss?”

He could barely finish the sentence before a laugh escaped his lips, and Bakugou rolled his eyes, hit him with a shoulder a little more violently than necessary.

“You stick out like a sore thumb, broom-head,” he grumbled, promptly ignoring Kirishima's whining about his hairstyle when it started coming, “I didn’t notice ‘cause I didn’t care.”

“And now you do?”

everyone knows that cats are independent by purplepersnickety

Eijirou enjoys his job, working the graveyard shift at a 24/7 coffee shop. His daemon Riot is always there to keep him company, and he likes meeting the early-morning patrons and giving them the best possible kick-start to their day. It's been his routine for about a year now.

Then one day, a grouchy guy with a daemon in the form of a lion walks into the shop in the dead of night, and Eijirou decides to strike up a conversation with him.

punks not dead by wrunic

“So you want to use me to piss off your mom?” Kirishima summarized, raising one pierced eyebrow at Katsuki.

“Look, if you want to be all fucking judgy about it, I take cash,” Katsuki said, dropping his hand palm up on the table.

“Hey now,” Kirishima said, raising his hands in surrender, “I didn’t say I wasn’t doing it. I’m always down for a little chaos.” He flashed a grin, showing off his ridiculous shark teeth.

“Good,” Katsuki said. “We start tomorrow."

sent, delivered, read, loved by kiribakuhappiness

Kirishima E. [6.49pm]: ur okay for such an angry dude bakugou! :)

Bakugou K. [7.12pm]: FUCK YOU!

Kirishima E. [7.14pm]: haha! :D ttyl!

Bakugou K. [7.48pm]: FUCKING WHAT DO THOSE DUMB LETTERS MEAN???

Bakugou K. [7.52pm]: I JUST LOOKED IT UP DONT FUCKING TALK TO ME LATER!

Bakugou K. [7.52pm]: STOP TXTING ME!!!

- OR -

Bakugou's and Kirishima's relationship develops from classmates to friends to more, as told through their text conversations.

flicker by mr_todoroki

He was starting to feel depressed. Life was so uninteresting. It was so mundane and forgettable. He had no one to hang out with besides Kota, his family didn’t even live in the city.

He grew his hair out as some sort of rebellion, some sort of stand to make his life the slightest bit more interesting. But he could already feel himself giving in to the pressure of cutting it. He needed to work to live. Without a job, he’d truly have nothing.

Kirishima never applied to UA, therefore never became a hero.

let’s get down to business by kjelfalconer

Katsuki Bakugou, one of the brightest rising stars on wall street, is in need of a new personal assistant. Again. Could Eijirou Kirishima finally be the one to last more than two months?

Katsuki's long suffering HR department sure hope so.

something about us by bigstupidjellyfish

nothing like being in highschool and having no idea how to deal with emotions

fireproof by inkbender

Four years after a classmate nobody seems to remember is kidnapped by the League of Villains, Kirishima drags an amnesiac hobo he found washed up on the beach into his apartment, attempts to teach him how to adult (with varying degrees of success), and discovers along the way that the line between heroism and villainy is quite fine indeed. Plot-divergent after episode 45, the Forest Training Camp arc.

blood riot by magicallee (alternatively)

Kirishima from a universe with no quirks is mind-swapped with an alternate universe version of himself where there are superpowers.

And in that universe he’s a super villain.

And Bakugou is the superhero who caught Evil-Kirishima and put him in prison.

blindside by drowclericpelor

“You’re the first guy friend I’ve had that I can just like, be friends with. You’re either the most unthirstiest boy ever...” Camie shrugged and made another wobbly illusion appear between her hands. It looked like a sparkly rainbow with the word ‘friendship’ beneath it, accompanied by what Bakugou assumed was supposed to be a twinkling sound effect, but it had a tinny quality to it and sounded far away. “...or I just ain’t got the kinda straw you like to ssssip.”

Carefully, Bakugou considered the strange turn this conversation had taken.

He had never been asked, point blank, if he was gay before. And he honestly had never thought about how he would respond. Lying about himself didn’t sit right with him. But he’d always wanted to wait until he was the number one hero - when he stood above everyone else - before coming out. Though he’d had times when he’d thought about doing it before then and had almost gone through with it once. But being the number one hero came first. It wouldn’t matter what people would say about it then as long as he’d risen to the top.

Bakugou knew his lack of a response would give Camie all the answers she needed.

flour power by wingsonghalo

“I’m telling you now, Shitty Hair,” the blonde growled, “I am not gonna play house with you. We will cart this stupid flour around for a week like the assignment says. But some of our idiot classmates are naming the thing and setting up ‘playdates’ and dressing it and I am not doing anything that stupid. Got it?”

Kirishima and Bakugou are paired up to take care of a flour sack for a week. It would be so simple, except nothing with Bakugou is ever simple. Also Kirishima might be kinda sorta completely head over heels for him.

sunchaser by chonideno

that feeling when you suddenly want to jump off a cliff for no reason but instead of a cliff it’s your best friend and instead of jumping it’s growing feelings out of nowhere

or how Bakugou has to try really hard not to throw everything to the wind, and Kirishima doesn't help

i also have a tag specifically for fics that reach somewhere between 30k-70k words long if you wanted to check that out as well! i hope you enjoy the fics here and that i was able to help, ily enjoy your trip!!! :D

#kiribaku fic rec #kiribaku #answered

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linkspooky · 4 years

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Gojo and Sukuna: The Strongest vs The Strongest

Gojou and Sukuna are both pictured lounging on top of a pile of skulls: the people they’ve climbed over to reach the top of their respective worlds. Gojou is the strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer, and Sukuna is the strongest cursed spirit. As they both carry the title of the strongest they actually have a lot in common, and are destined to duke it out one day - more details UNDER THE CUT.

1. Individualism

Gojo and Sukuna are both characters who base their entire identity around their individual strength. Their number one priority is the development of themselves. They need to stand out. They need to stand out on top. That’s why they share the phrase: “Throughout the heaven and earth, he alone is the honored one.”

Selfish and self-centered is a personality trait that typically has negative connotations, but being a selfish person is not necessarily a good or bad thing. All it means is you prioritize yourself first, your own thoughts, your own world view, your own sense of self.

“I alone am the honored one” is actually a phrase of self enlightenment. It’s said that after the Budha Sakayuni was born he took seven steps from his mother and said that while pointing to the heaven and earth [x].

Gege has confirmed in his author comments he uses it to confirm the arrogance of the characters, and in doing so he portrays both the good and the bad of having such a sense of arrogance. See, selfishness is considered a bad quality, but what about self-confidence? Self-esteem? Believing in yourself can lead you to good things. Doubting yourself may seem humble, but it can lead you to making mistakes, or even lashing out at others. These aren’t necessarily good or bad they’re just qualities that people have. Personal enlightenment means becoming the best version of yourself that you can possibly be (if I’m WAYYY SIMPLIFYING). Gojou and Sukuna know themselves, and what they desire better than any other characters in the series.

Gojo and Sukuna have such high confidence in themselves that they believe they can do pretty much anything, and usually they can. In their world view if you have the strength to do it, then anything is possible.

Gojo calls this philosophy swinging for the fences. They are both like star players on the team, who do everything they can to stand out and be the best. Their are two competing needs in the story, the individual good, and the collective good. Gojo insists you don’t have to sacrifice yourself and put yourself down for the good of others, which is why he tries to assert his individual will on the world. He wants to make the world better how he sees fit. He generally thinks he’s right, and more right than others. Sukuna is the same way to a more extreme extent.

The flaw of this thinking is that eventually they both tend to see themselves as above other people. When they stop seeing other people and cut themselves off like this, they start to believe they have to do every single thing alone. Instead of asserting their own will over others, it becomes more and more like their own will, their own ideas, their own thoughts and feelings become all that exists to them. That’s when their thinking starts becoming warped.

Collectivism and Individualism are ideas that seem to contradict each other but that’s wrong, they’re actually complementary ideas that coexist. People are individuals. People are a collective group. Both of these ideas exist at the same time.

Gojo’s self confidence, his selfless fighting for others always using his strength for the sake of others, trying to make a better world as he sees fit are all good things, but the fact that he believes no matter how strong he becomes no matter how hard he fights he’ll always die alone because it’s not worth becoming close to others in the Jujutsu World is just... sad. It means ever since Geto left, Gojo has trouble accepting other people and becoming close to them. Whereas Sukuna just doesn’t care. The flaw of doing everything alone is exactly that, you’re eventually alone, you become the only person on earth.

2. Collectivism

Gojo and Sukuna both have an individual mindset, but where they differ is how they use their massive strength. Gojo believes in himself above all else but, he uses his strength for the collective good of the jujutsu world, whereas Sukuna only ever uses it for himself. Gojo parallels Yuji’s grandfather’s advice at the beginning of the manga pretty much exactly. He’s strong, so he’s obligated to help people.

Gojo and Sukuna believes their strength makes them capable of anything, but Sukuna takes that one step further. Sukuna’s strength means he can do whatever he wants to others. Whereas, Gojo holds himself back. It’s why Sukuna is the king of curses, but Gojo isn’t the king of sorcerers.

Gojo is at least capable of acknowledging other people in a way that Sukuna isn’t. Sukuna believes that the world should be run on strength alone. Gojo acknowledges that he’s perfectly capble of slaughtering everyone at the top and declaring himself king, but that he doesn’t really think that will change things ultimately.

The thing is other people exist, even if Sukuna wants to ignore this inconvenient reality. No man is an island, yadda yadda. More importantly though, other people play a big role in individual identity too. If you were a person who never interacted with other people in your life, you’d just be insane. You’d be feral like an animal. You wouldn’t even have a sense of individuality. The individual ego is shaped just as much by our interactions with other people, seeing how we’re similiar and different to others than it is by how we view ourselves. Gojo and Sukuna both grapple with this idea. One thing they have in common is they both have awful peresonalities.

They’re not even lousy, they’re childish. They play games with other people. Gojo makes constant references to video games and pop culture like he’s a really hip teenager. Sukuna makes every fight into a game where he viciously mocks his opponent because he’s just so bored. The reason is because as individuals they’re also stunted, specifically because they have such trouble acknowledging other people and other people have such an influence on our peresonalities. Gojo doesn’t really need to grow up because he’s always been stronger and smarter than all the adults. Sukuna is a thousand year old spirit who acts like he’s thirteen.

This longing to understand other people exists in both of them. Sukuna’s one redeeming feature is that when people are strong he will acknowledge them. He reaches out and connects to Jogo before his death. The problem is if you don’t meet his own personal definition of strength, then by his rules you’re basically nothing.

Gojo seems much more aware of the fact that he’s not good enough to change things alone. What he wants is allies who are just as strong as he is, people he can rely on, people he can stand together and fight with.

Sukuna genuinely doesn’t care about others. In fact, he views the desire to have companions, equals as a weakness. If you accept other people in any other regard, it weakens you and your individual will + desires as a person.

But as I said, acknowledging other people is just as formative in your identity in ackonwledging yourself. Sukuna is just flat out wrong here. He’s the extreme result of Gojo’s tendency to do everything himself. For Sukuna other people just straight up don’t exist. The only people he acknowledges are the ones who meet his standards, his servants like Ura-Ume, and the one he plans on using like Megumi and that itself is a weakness. An oversight.

3. Gojou vs. Sukuna

Sukuna has been planning, since literally the introduction chapters and the very first arc of the manga how he’s going to take Gojo down when he eventually claims Yuji’s body as his own.

However, even if Sukuna were at full strength in Yuji’s body, Gojo would still win. I don’t think Gojo’s being cocky here it’s a genuine assessment of his strength. Which is why Sukuna has gotten crafty. We saw a long, long time ago he took an interest in Megumi the moment he learned he was a shikigami user.

Sukuna notices that Megumi a shadow based shikigami user should have been easily able to beat a one finger curse, and asks why he didn’t. It’s after this point he takes a special interest in Megumi. He sees much more potential in Megumi, then Megumi even sees in himself.

He places his bets in the personal development of Megumi Fushigoro. Over time, we’re reminded again and again the itnerest Sukuna has only in Megumi, and it’s slowly revealed why piece by piece.

We learn two things about Megumi over time, that he intentionally holds himself back all the time, even though among the first years he’s the closest so far to developing a domain expansion. Number two is what we’ve learned in the last chapter.

Megumi actually has an insanely strong Jujutsu ability that he was born with. Among the Zen’in family it’s the only one that could ever possibly equal the six eyes. In the past it was a six-eyes user and a ten shadows user who fought to the death as equals. Megumi is someone who has had the capability to surpass Gojo all along, he just doesn’t believe himself capable and inententionally holds himself back.

Which is why we learn this chapter, the insanely strong spirits that Megumi can summon with his ability we finally get a clue as to why Sukuna has taken an interset in him. Even if everything goes swimmingly and he takes over Yuji’s body, he still has to fight Gojo.

Sukuna is keeping Megumi alive because from the beginning, being a thousand years old he knows this ancient history between the Zen’in and the Gojo families, and he knows that Megumi being a ten shadows user has the potential to be an equal, or even stronger than Gojo.

The Gojo and Sukuna fight is going to happen eventually in the manga and when it does, Sukuna’s planning on using Megumi as a tool against Gojo. That’s what we’ve been building to all this time. That’s Sukuna’s plans for Megumi.

#sukuna #ryomen sukuna #gojou satoru #gojo satoru #megumi fushigoro #jjk meta #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen meta #jujutsu kaisen theory

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viridiave · 3 years

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NARUMITSU <ATTEMPTING TO READ THE SUBTEXT PLATONICALLY>

*Wrote all this some time last month so I might be off- really really off- also full disclosure I too am a Narumitsu shipper- this is just me giving myself a bad time doing the impossible and having fun XD

-I am going to fail sooner or later. Looking at you, Bridge to the Turnabout.

FIRST GAME >Turnabout Samurai -Yep. We're jumping right in with 'unnecessary feelings'. I'm going to be put on a stake for this. -This is going to become the main argument with any and all homoerotic subtext present in the first game- that it was unintentional. They didn't actively start making it gay until the second game, and even before then the producer for the games had to warn the development team not to try and insert these themes for fear of getting it wrong and lose the fanbase they'd accidentally caught the eye of. I can still create arguments for why this specific, hilariously meme-able line could be read romantically of course- but as far as the game development team at the time was concerned this interaction was never meant to be read as romantic. -Unease and uncertainty are... very valid feelings for Edgeworth to feel at this very moment and as much as I'd like to joke that he was feeling uncertain about his sexuality after seeing his childhood friend as an adult, this line was really just likely meant to lead up to the conclusion of Turnabout Goodbyes and Edgeworth's character arc for this game. His perfect win streak had just been shattered in a case prior. In this case, he was meant to persecute the lead actor of his favorite show- and in some ways his helping the defense can be taken as his biases getting the better of him. His sense of justice and his entire worldview is about to be overhauled, and I can see how he would regard this budding doubt in himself as an unnecessary (heh) distraction from what he believes is his true purpose in life.

>Turnabout Goodbyes -Edgeworth wanting to keep him away from DL-6 has its own section mostly because of how stubborn he becomes when it comes to Phoenix's insistence in particular. It's clear that this stubbornness is a front, I will concede with that- but there are merits to his initial reluctance in accepting Phoenix's defense. It's evident that Phoenix himself has grown over the course of the game so far, but in both of the times that he faced off against Edgeworth in court, his victories were... a tad bit contrived. For instance in Turnabout Sisters, Phoenix really only wins because Mia was being channeled and blackmailed White as he was about to leave the stand. Turnabout Samurai is a little better- but had him rely on quite a lot of coincidences (proven later to be substantiated) that surfaced during the trial. This is nothing to say of the deeper reason Edgeworth has over dissuading Phoenix from taking his case ("You in particular I cannot ask to do this.")- where I can make an argument for his pride and/or concern over Phoenix's career as an attorney. The stakes are relatively high here as well- if Phoenix fails, Edgeworth is incarcerated, Manfred von Karma goes free, DL-6 goes cold once again with no hope of getting re-opened, and everything that Phoenix has been working towards as an attorney would have been in vain. DL-6 is a case that has ruined many lives- it'd make sense if Edgeworth himself felt as though it would be a waste of time and effort to take this case because of how convinced he was of murdering his own father prior to Gourd Lake. He'd grown up for the past 15 years with a nightmare and a death sentence over his head- I wouldn't be surprised if he simply gave up and accepted that he was going to die at the hands of his prosecuting mentor. Even if he were acquitted for the murder of Robert Hammond, his perceived involvement in DL-6 would have thrown a wrench in his freedom- any lesser attorney would have given up on that. And this is unloaded BEFORE Phoenix tells him about the true reason as to why he became an attorney. -Phoenix's insistence to defend Edgeworth in this case can easily just be read as platonic- his complete, unfettered faith in Edgeworth's innocence is heavily influenced by that class trial, for better or for worse. While I'm perfectly happy to imagine that Phoenix's attachment to his idealized version of Edgeworth grew into something deeper sometime in the fifteen years that he hasn't seen him, I do believe that Phoenix in particular really is just that much of a sentimental person. This is to say nothing of his nature as a defense attorney- and what little time he's managed to spend with Mia has taught him that unbridled trust in his client is what gets him through the day, and he's putting it to practice here. Edgeworth was what he has been working towards the moment he decided he would practice law- as Phoenix at this point in time still believes that he could do no wrong despite seeing what Edgeworth is truly like in court. -Cutting into the meat of Phoenix and Edgeworth's shared past, I made a point earlier to say that Phoenix's perception of Edgeworth as a person is idealized. Every memory that Phoenix has had of Edgeworth prior to the events of the first game were from their childhood- and they had 4-8 months (plus one year if we're generous with the retconning some of the official art gave us) MAX to develop a friendship so strong that Phoenix makes major life decisions just to meet with this man. The fact that this time spent together was ENOUGH for Phoenix in the first place is... really hard to skirt around. To quote Dan from GameGrumps "this is something that you would only do for someone you're trying to marry" and if one of them was a woman I guarantee this ship would be canon already. But then again- since this is Phoenix Wright in particular somehow I can believe that he really is just that sentimental- and that isn't always a bad thing. He'd managed to save Edgeworth twice with this conviction after all. When Phoenix sees Edgeworth, he doesn't see a demon prosecutor, he sees his childhood friend who aimed to become a shining example of justice following in his father's footsteps. They address how shaky his foundations for becoming an attorney were in the Phoenix Wright Files once actually- going through a mini-existential crisis because he'd become an attorney with the main goal of saving Edgeworth from what he'd become, and now that he's accomplished that he's just kind of... lost. Edgeworth himself manages to pull him out of this, though. -man that hurts my case a lot actually but to be fair I was banking on failing -I just didn't expect it to happen so early even with the first game -in fact ESPECIALLY with the first game -though I cannot for the life of me wonder how I can come up with a heterosexual explanation for why the buildup towards Edgeworth telling Phoenix and Maya about his nightmares reads so much like a stunted love confession. I'm serious- just read any high school shojo manga ever. You'll find that it hits a lot of the same beats.

>Rise From The Ashes -It's in this case that we observe some of the consequences that the intial upheaval of Edgeworth's worldview in Turnabout Goodbyes causes him; distrust in the enforcement of the law. Not exactly the time for him to be dabbling in another, meme-able brand of unnecessary feelings. Several things like the Prosecutor's Office's relationship with the Police Department starts to waver with the murder of Bruce Goodman, and this becomes the final nail in the coffin for Edgeworth's worldviews and values as a prosecutor. His and Phoenix's teamwork in this trial becomes prevalent- the story behind the King of Prosecutors award represents this best despite it's currently incomplete state. The backstory behind this award paints an ideal of justice in the courtroom wherein the truth comes out as a result of the efforts of contradictory forces. A broken halberd that can cut through any shield (the prosecution) and a broken, unbreakable shield (the defense). Read as representation the text becomes something of a metaphor for the ideal justice that manifests itself in the best parts of Edgeworth and Phoenix respectively- the duality of their opposing professions rather than something that is limited to their relationship. -The same argument that I've used for Phoenix's unwavering belief in Edgeworth's innocence in Turnabout Goodbyes can be used for this case as well. -Though Edgeworth still goes M.I.A for a year after this case, it does grant his disappearance a bit more context as to why exactly it is that he left- and I'll be taking a tiny liberty with this and apply the interpretation that the Miles Edgeworth Files grants us, and that he left in order to better himself and grow as a person, a prosecutor, and as a friend to Phoenix Wright. It's... difficult for me to want to read this as anything but romantically-charged because the narrative beats are NOT lost on me (the dialogue makes this especially hard. send help.)- there's a possibility that Edgeworth at this point in time realizes the value in having a better, more functional dynamic with the one defense attorney who he considers a true equal in court. This dynamic will allow for less chances to encounter missteps and errors in any verdicts handed down in court, and if Edgeworth is to pursue his ideal of justice- Phoenix Wright is undoubtedly essential to this endeavor. The aftermath of Rise From The Ashes is indicative of this newfound goal of his- the symbolism behind the old King of Prosecutors award and the two halves of the evidence list certainly helps this case. -<"It seems all you do is worry about me." -Miles Edgeworth, Rise From The Ashes> For good fucking reason Edgeworth. You were accused of murder and have implicated yourself on the stand for DL-6 just a few months ago- and if the Investigations games are anything to go by, you're more of a danger magnet than PHOENIX is. I had to say it. The first Investigations game takes place over the course of 2-3 days and the sheer amount of shit that Edgeworth had to deal with in between that interval truly makes me wonder how Phoenix Wright ended up with the title of danger magnet. And THIS time- Edgeworth's car becomes a crime scene because his corrupt superiors needed a convenient way of transporting a corpse. There's VERY good reasons to worry about the livelihood of Miles Edgeworth. -Okay I... can't believe I forgot about the chessboard. Here's the kicker- the one we see from his office isn't even the only one he owns. I... legitimately cannot give you ANY purely heterosexual, platonic explanation for why Miles Edgeworth has THREE (THREE. I CANNOT OVERSTATE THIS. HE HAS T H R E E OF THESE FUCKING THINGS. GOOD GOD. HE CAN'T BE ANY MORE EXTRA.)(there exists a similar, portable set in the Investigations games- and he has a new set by the time of Dual Destinies) sets of custom-made chessboards with personalized, highly-specific red and blue designs made purely to depict his rivalry with Phoenix Wright. I fold. I give up. I forgot about the chessboards I wAS NOT EXPECTING TO FAIL THIS E A R LY- -You know what the real kicker is with Rise From the Ashes? The main argument that I have introduced back in Turnabout Samurai does not apply here. Rise From the Ashes was made as a DS-exclusive case and did not exist in the original GameBoy version of the Trilogy. Which means if there is homoerotic tension written in for this case (and there happens to be a lot. the chessboard is proof enough.), then we can safely assume that the writers at this point were well-aware. So yeah- maybe don't feel TOO bad about the unnecessary feelings line- because ever since then the writers have been playing off of that and it SHOWS. -Is there really a point to this I'm just- everything is stacked against me tryna interpret this platonically -Like I know I make a point to say that a romantic relationship isn't the end-all of all relationships because this franchise LOVES pushing the Found Family dynamic and I'm an absolute sucker for that -good god by the time Dual Destinies rolls around I'll probably just give up and happily say they're happily married -that's literally what they act like don't even pretend

#narumitsu #wrightworth #ace attorney #gyakuten saiban #phoenix wright #naruhodou ryuuichi #miles edgeworth #mitsurugi reiji #i'll probably write more once school blows over #so have the first game for now #trust me i tried #maybe i'm just not an anti-shipper and that's why i failed #uh feel free to set the comments on fire #but like civilly #we're all here to have fun okay #even if fun means shipping

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dropintomanga · 3 years

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The Evergreen Shonen Story

A short while ago, there were some online conversations about the popularity of shonen stories. Almost all of them are based around the experiences of youth and some adult fans wanted action-oriented stories based around their life experiences as adults. Reading stories centered on teens and kids as the main characters isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, I’ll admit that. But sometimes, I think shonen stories are somewhat of a reflection on what adults have been telling kids for years and how some/most of their advice has failed youth.

Life begins in the womb. We come out to a world of many possibilities. As children, we’re immune to bias until adults decide to tell us about the many differences of various people out there. Some adults may not care and have trouble dealing with their own pain, They may resort to substances like drugs and alcohol to cope. Under the influence of drugs or alcohol, these adults may start to abuse children and/or neglect them entirely.

There’s a term that relates to the overwhelming negative experiences of children growing up. It’s called ACE - “adverse childhood experiences.” Examples of such experiences include physical/sexual abuse, parent separation, physical/emotional neglect, and living with an adult with substance addiction. I look at a bunch of shonen flashback stories and many of the traumatic ones revolve around physical and emotional neglect.

Why is this important to acknowledge? Because some adults do a bad job in raising their children or guiding kids to become responsible individuals. We’ve seen examples of bad parenting in anime and manga. There’s also the fact that adults have been full of dreams themselves when they were kids, but have been fed advice on how the “real world” works. They’ve been told that they can’t make their dreams come true and/or they need to behave a certain way to get by. It’s a vicious cycle. A colleague of mine told me that when she sees young people with vision and a desire to smash the status quo end up being a part of the status quo themselves, she wondered if that’s due to those individuals seeing how hard it is and how long it takes to generate the change they want to see.

One of my favorite shonen characters in recent memory is Satoro Gojo of Jujutsu Kaisen. He was a student of Jujutsu High and ends up becoming a teacher there. Gojo is considered to be a prodigy, but he remains humble. He’s also willing to speak up to authority as he has gotten into disputes with upper school management over the fates of cursed students (particularly Yuji Itadori and Yuta Okkutsu) whose potential have yet to be realized. Gojo has once said that he needs to remind himself not to be a bitter old adult as he ages.

A good number of shonen stories drive the point that adults shouldn’t be bitter old ones. Or maybe more importantly, don’t be dismissive about teen experiences. I listened to a podcast a while back about loneliness and how much it affects mental health. There was a discussion point about adults ignoring teens that feel lonely with regards to dating. Here’s a quote from that discussion.

“The number one way that we do this (being dismissive of loneliness) in America is every single 30-year-old up completely dismisses the loneliness that a teenager feels about not having a significant other. Because once we hit 30, we realize that your 16 year old significant other is nonsense. It’s just nonsense. You’re gonna be in love so much in your life. You’re gonna love everybody. You’re going to date a million people. It’s gonna be fine. You’re going to realize how insignificant this relationship is.

The key word there is you’re gonna realize it. It’s a future thing for them. So when every 30, 40, 50, 60 year old looks at the 16, 17, 18 year old and says, oh, you just broke up with your boyfriend? Yeah, who cares? That’s a meaningless relationship. I don’t care. That exacerbates the loneliness. It exacerbates the disconnected feeling because it really, really, really, really matters to them.”

I honestly think adults being dismissive towards teens’ current experiences is one reason why shonen stories still resonate with many. We’ve all been through those times where adults just shut us down because ultimately, it doesn’t matter. Yes, there comes a point where we have to move forward. But a good amount of emotional pain stems from adolescence and it lingers. Most mental disorders begin to happen around those years. Unfortunately, most of us don’t know how to give back in ways that stop the cycle. I do think mangaka are trying their best to give back the way they know how.

Yet I think the biggest reason for the enduring popularity of shonen stories is friendship. We all know the Shonen Jump tropes - friendship, hard work and victory. All three are important, but friends are what really keeps us alive. The harsh truths are that hard work doesn’t always get you where you want to go and victories do come at the cost of important relationships. Over the years, I noticed that in my neck of the woods, friendship is frowned upon. When you’re ranking important relationships in life, first is your mother, then maybe your father, then your romantic partner, followed by your children. Friends are last. There was a nice read I found that listed a good amount of studies on the importance of friends (especially for those who are LGBTQ+ and faced stigma from immediate family).

We don’t live on an island, contrary to what neoliberalism says. Families aren’t enough. Friends are what keeps us alive and helps build our sense of identity.

Maybe the fans who want more mature/adult-centered stories with shonen action just want to see more nuanced stories about friendships in adult settings. Friendships are so hard to make and maintain as adults. There’s some glimmers of hope for those kinds of stories - in video games. Yakuza: Like a Dragon is a great example of an adult hero in a genre dominated by young protagonists, the Japanese RPG. The story is about a 42-year old ex-yakuza who gets exiled into a unfamiliar city and manages to make something of himself with the help of new friends he made there. It was refreshing because the whole cast were adults who were unemployed and/or stigmatized due to underworld ties. They managed to save Japan from a vicious political alliance with action elements that felt shonen at heart.

I’m all for more adult-centered mainstream shonen stories because seinen material can be a bit too blunt for some tastes, but there’s a lot of focus on the mindset of youth lately than in decades past since there’s concern on how they will manage in a world that continues to disappoint them.

I love shonen because I honestly don’t feel like I’m an adult due to my depression. My development felt stunted. I feel that I have more in common with 20+-year olds than people my age. I want to be around people who are youthful at heart. I wonder about those who still enjoy shonen past the target demographic - what still draws them to it? Is it due to them embracing their inner child more likely than most people? Or do they just like to follow simple action stories that have a lot of heart (something that some people don’t have)?

Looking at shonen’s enduring mainstream status does make me think about the the feedback loops between adults and teenagers. I’ll end this by talking about an incident that happened a couple years ago where a somewhat prominent Anitwitter figure (I am NOT going to mention their name here, but you may know who I’m referring to), who made a lot of friends with people in the anime/manga industry, was outed be a sexual predator who went after young naive anime fans at fan conventions. One of the reactions from someone that was once close with them was how can older anime fans better connect with younger anime fans when needed. I know from personal experience, I sigh on seeing the behavior of teens at conventions at times. But I learned that by saying things like “Kids are so dramatic,” “Boys will be boys,” “She’s being emotional.” gets harmful in a hurry where proper context is warranted. Maybe they are being so-and-so, but it doesn’t hurt to ask and give validation to their concerns. Teens are the lifeblood of anime conventions right now.

Shonen is a gateway introduction for youth on how to process pain in a way that helps themselves and other people with the help of said people. It’s an escape from the distress and trauma of reality. That reality, which has situations like the incident I mentioned, is controlled by adults who don’t always have it together, can’t admit their flaws, and sadly take it out on the world. That’s why shonen is still so powerful today despite all the criticism the genre gets. And that’s the evergreen truth.

#shonen #shonen manga #manga #mental health #youth #psychology

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trifle-of-doom · 3 years

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The Hawk X Demetri Manifesto

Okay, here is the thing. Despite being well past my teens, there's a particular ship of Cobra Kai that has drawn my attention, this ship being Hawk/Eli x Demetri. When I first watched the show, I was actually more invested in the adult characters storylines than the teens. I immediately rooted for Johnny and Carmen, and I was always hoping for more interactions between them. But then I saw episode 2x05, in which the atmosphere between the Binary Brothers becomes way more dense, and that's when I started to see some potential for them. Not because I'm a deranged person who fosters abusive relationships, but because I immediately caught the hurt/comfort dynamic of the duo, which is something that works really well when it comes to fictional relationships. However, it wasn't until 3x10 that I said, "Ok, that's official, I need to see more of these two! I totally support them!" And I was quite surprised to find a fairly large amount of people who are very committed to this pairing, to the point it's caught the attention of the screenwriters/producers as well. Honestly, I don't know if the showrunners will ever have the guts to make them an official couple, and chances are their supporters will have to keep reading between the lines of their bromance, but in any case, here is my take on why Hawk/Eli x Demetri is an option worth to be considered.

#1 - The Bromance

If there's something that many years of navigating the Internet taught me, is that the main driving factor for fan-made ships is the presence of either a solid relationship based on mutual brotherly love or a bitter rivalry that may or may not flow into hate/obsession. If you consider anime fandoms, there are thousand examples that fit into either of these categories: Yugi and Jonouchi from the Yu-Gi-Oh series (yes, that's how old I am), Yugi and Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh, Sakuragi and Rukawa from Slam Dunk, Light and L from Death Note, etc. And our Hawk and Demetri fit into both categories. When we first see them, they are the stereotypical nerdy friends (possibly childhood friends?) sitting at the losers' table, who have no one else but each other. When Eli is at his most sensitive and fragile, you can tell he feels comfortable being with Demetri by the genuine smile he has on his face as Demetri is joking with Miguel at the canteen table. Through his sarcasm, the mouthy kid acts as a catalyst to deviate the attention from Eli, speaking for him, reprimanding Johnny when he makes fun of his lip and trying to make him feel safe. Besides, you can see a certain degree of frustration in Demetri when Kyler and his gang are harassing Eli, and he's unable to do anything to defend him. And they even have a jingle for their friendship with a robot dance, I mean, how cute is that? But of course, a solid friendship between two helpless nerdy guys is not enough to spark a ship to be rooting for. In order for the magic to happen, another key ingredient is needed, i.e. a little bit of angst. Which brings us straight to the next point.

#2 - The Angst (aka the Hurt/Comfort Dynamic)

Even though I never liked the Twilight saga or any similar urban fantasy young adult works, I can easily see where the appeal comes from; the attraction to a charming, dangerous person who could either protect you from any harm or crush you like grape. Although with different franchises, I wasn't immune to the bad boy trope either (Yes, I'm looking at you, my teenage self drooling over Grimmjow from Bleach). If we can appreciate the genuine, brotherly friendship between nerdy Eli and Demetri, the shift that Eli makes as he transitions into Hawk and becomes more aggressive and dominant gives their relationship a totally different flavor. Attrition sparks a certain tension that, in the viewer's eyes, could either flow into a brawl or into passion.

During the mall fight, Demetri comes to the realization that his former best friend is actually someone who can crush him like grape. We see Hawk intentionally harming him for the first time, and Demetri's heartbreaking expression as he drops the line: "You'd actually hurt me?" And if that line gave us a pang in our hearts when we first watched Season 2, imagine rewatching it now that we know what happens in Season 3. Demetri is chased down the mall, running for his life, and then he's locked in a grip, as his best friend menacingly advances towards him. Demetri appears as the damsel in distress, however his friend is not the one who will fight to protect him, but rather his tormentor.

During the party at Moon's, Demetri manages to briefly go through Hawk's mask and reach out to Eli, thanks to a casual conversation about Dr Who. But then the beer incident happens, and Demetri defends himself with the only weapon he has – his loudmouth. The situation is reversed, and for a brief moment, he gets to be the dominant one as he discloses all Eli's most intimate secrets. Demetri is now actively contributing to the Hurt/Comfort dynamic; he's no longer just a target, but he's doing his part to enlarge that gaping hole that has formed between them. And Hawk didn't take it well.

From this moment on, Demetri becomes a sort of obsession to Hawk, who hunts him down the school, teasing him and taunting him sadistically, like a serial killer from a horror movie, during the big fight. Of course, in real life, this would be completely insane, and the police/a social assistant/psychiatrist should be called, but in ShipLand, these situations are pure gold. Okay, we get it, Hawk wants to get revenge for the humiliation at the party, and he wants to crush that nerd part of himself he sees in Demetri, but he does it with such an intensity that it borders on ridiculous. It's like this is his twisted way to acknowledge Demetri's presence. Eventually, Hawk ends up smashed into the trophy case, and I confess I felt a little disappointed when Demetri broke that hug to give Hawk a roundhouse kick. I mean, it was a great comeback, but I was sincerely hoping for a "No hard feelings man, let's get outta here!" scenario.

Getting back to the sick and twisted way Hawk acknowledges Demetri's presence, he destroys his science project after he got jealous due to him being confident in his nerd self and laughing around with his ex girlfriend (whom the writers insist he still has a crush on). Speaking of Moon, I have a feeling she likes Hawk mostly based on his badass appearance. Remember when she goes "I like this (mohawk) and I love these (muscles), but I'm not dating a bully"?

Then the football match happens. Okay, let's break this down. Demetri trips Hawk and acts all sassy, and a fellow Cobra Kai is immediately ready to take him down, but Hawk stops him. "Fight smart, he says". Too bad that literally 5 seconds earlier he had shoved a kid to the ground just because his ex girlfriend (again, duuuh~) ignored him when he winked at her. And then, as he's trying to intercept the ball, BANG, Hawk hits Demetri, sending him to the ground, pretending it was an accident. So, what does this tell us? That Hawk has some serious anger management issues? Yeah sure, but also that he cares about fighting smart only as long as it serves as an excuse to leave Demetri for him, because he's his designated target. Again, this is all but romantic, and it doesn't necessarily have to be interpreted as him lusting after his friend, but it's undeniable that this dynamic offers a lot of ship fuel.

The arm breaking thing is just too painful to even analyze. We see a completely helpless Demetri begging for mercy to his ex best friend, who has made No Mercy his life motto. And that scream, oh that scream. All I wanted to see was Hawk realizing what he had done and throwing himself on his knees while begging for forgiveness. But I'm glad that at least we get to see he feels awful for what he's done, and I like to think that, as he got home, Eli cried out all the tears he had in his body thinking about poor Demetri at the hospital, with a swollen broken arm, all because of him. Of all the situations, this is undoubtedly the most deranged and extreme, and if something like this happened in real life, the wrongdoer would deserve to be punished and would definitely need to be sent to therapy. But in ShipLand, this opens the road to many, many different scenarios, in which the bully understands his mistakes and shifts back to the good side, or the two share a tender moment after they reconcile, or the traumatized character has to to learn to trust the other one again, or the bully becomes overprotective of his former victim, etc.

#3 - A Rewarding Reconciliation

Finally, we come to the reconciliation, in which Hawk makes his heel-to-face turn. While we've seen him torn with doubt for an entire season about his sensei's teachings, his actions and the people he wants to surround himself with, the key factor that drives Hawk's redemption is the sight of his best friend being held down for him to beat. And with an epic stunt and his awesome KEEEH screech, Hawk jumps to the rescue of his friend. Like many of us, Demetri thought this was still part of the "Only I Can Torment Him" dynamic I discussed earlier, as he steps backwards a little concerned, but then he understands that action was actually meant to save him, and the two begin to fight side by side, in sync, watching each other's back. You can see Demetri's eyes sparkling at the thought of having his friend back.

Also, not only Demetri stands up to alpha bitch Tory in defense of Eli, but he also speaks for his friend when he's faltering, just like he used to. So kudos for Demetri.

#4 - The Red Oni, Blue Oni Dynamic

Binary Brothers are two sides of the same coin and complete each other with opposite character traits, visually expressed by the color red and the color blue. Being the color red typically associated with violence, rage, passion and irrationality, as opposed to blue, which is associated with calmness, melancholy and rationality, red is clearly the dominant color. Again, this opens many interesting scenarios for shippers.

#5 - Body Language

Besides the situations I described above, which may or may not be read from a romantic/attraction standpoint, there are also a collection of small gestures I noticed when rewatching the series with a more attentive look on their relationship.

- Demetri's heart-broken expression when Eli shamefully covers his lip during the anti-bullying announcement.

- The smile Demetri gives when Hawk responds "Hell yeah!" after Aisha proposes to crash Yasmin's party, implying he's learning to embrace this new wild side of his best friend

- The astonished look with which Demetri watches Hawk at the tournament and the way he's pissed no one knows his real name.

- How deeply hurt Demetri is when Hawk belittles him by saying: "Five against three. More like two and a half." He even tries to reply, but he's caught so off guard that words die in his throat.

- How Demetri takes a step towards Hawk during the mall fight, before Sam makes him back off, and how sadly he looks at Hawk's nearly unconscious body after Robby defeated him.

- How Demetri smiles and nods when he briefly connects with Eli at Moon's party, despite the mall incident.

- How Hawk watches Demetri juggle with the cleaning product from behind his bike helmet (how did he stuff the mohawk in there by the way)?

- Hawk's psychotic/sadistic faces when he smells Demetri's blood, and how he likes to hunt him down like he's his prey.

- Hawk's secret impulse to comfort Demetri after the arm breaking (I hope you get nightmares of Demetri's howl of pain for the rest of your life, Hawk).

- The way Hawk twitches his upper lip when he sees his friend Demetri in danger.

- How Hawk and Demetri are so absorbed in their new-found friendship, that they're caught off guard, and Demetri swings Hawk to allow him to deliver a kick using their handshake as a lever. And how they keep fighting together, shaking each other's hands even when they're out of focus and the attention is on Miguel vs. Kyler.

- How they're standing so close at Miyagi Do, in comparison with the other Red/Blue partners.

In conclusion, this kind of relationships are engaging and entertaining to watch, and they make us wish the best for the characters. They make us hope that, in the end, as Miguel puts it, love really conquers all (and what is friendship if not a form of love?), despite all the hurt they did to each other.

So this is it. I hope you enjoyed my Ted Talk. Feel free to share it with whomever you want, especially if you need some solid reasons why this ship has got some good potential.

And remember: the ship is in the eye of the beholder.

#HawkMeat #Hawk x Demetri #Cobra Kai #Eli Moskowitz #Demetri #binary brothers

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shintorikhazumi · 3 years

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What It Takes To Be A Family (1): Compromise

A/N: Welcome to, “what it takes to be a family”. Just a bunch of diakko family oneshots that I will throw out whenever I... do... Huh. May or may not be interconnected. This little chapter is for Hyde!!! Since I know you like your fluff, and you always give me such sweet feedback! I seriously took your message as a challenge, so let me dish out a small fic for you right now! I don’t want to become doge meme!

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

Chapter 1: Compromise

She needed a break.

She needed a god. Damn. Break.

Lest she be the one to break under the amazing pressure that was her family. Seriously. Really, Diana was begging for freedom from the weight of a wife and three children on her back- in quite the literal sense-, at barely six AM, after she’d been working up until just a little past four earlier that same morning. Just as she had been doing, every single day for the past two weeks.

So really, she just wanted a rest. Finally, after all her hard labor that had just gotten settled last night-er... today, she simply desired a long, well-deserved repose.

“Wake up, sleepyhead! It’s time to wake up! Let’s gooo! Get a move on!” Akko giggled into her ear, and while Diana adored that sound from her wife’s lips, she found that she’d rather listen to the silent thrum of her heart instead, or nothing at all.

The excited bouncing of the children shook the mattress they were all on, and Diana believed she’d caught motion sickness. She wanted to scream, yell. Even if she didn’t have enough energy to do even that.

‘Dear Beatrix, please send them away.’ -the troubled soul prayed. Wait. ‘But not too far away. Like. Next-room-away, away’, she added as an afterthought.

She loved them all to death. She did. She just- She couldn’t, right now. Couldn’t... whatever.

“Atsuko.”

The woman perked up, pausing in her playful tickling of Diana’s sides whilst lying on top of her squished form. Diana never used that name with her unless she was about to discuss something very important, or was irritated and/or mad about something- not quite in the mood for fun and games.

There was silence. Diana said nothing after that. Yet. She took in a deep breath to calm her nerves that had so quickly built up- despite her exhaustion- at the prospect of having to do what she was about to do. Try to tell them all to stop their antics and leave her be. With a heavy exhale, she addressed the rest of the human tower blocks that were crushing her with their combined masses.

“Kotone. Mei.” Twin brunettes perked up at the call of their names. Barely seven, but already so clever, they slid off of their Mama’s back at the recognition of that tone of voice Diana used, familiar with what it implied. Of course, they’d done this, not without making sure to catch the smallest little bean of their family that had been riding at the very top of this wake up pile, “Logan.”

Logan. Ah, Logan. She was their beloved three-year-old, and she was very... refined, for her age. Diana would have used the word, ‘behaved’, but with the way the child carried herself, and the odd eloquence in spite of her limited speech, ‘refined’ seemed to be a better fit to describe the air around her tiny frame.

Akko always told Diana that it was because the baby had always watched her, growing up; tried to imitate her actions, and the things that she did. It was adorable, really. And just a tad worrying. Diana didn’t need her picking up some negative habits from herself. She knew she wasn’t as perfect a human as most people praised her to be. She was aware of her jarring flaws that, in her opinion, needed an intervention. Such as her workaholic nature, for example.

She definitely had to work on that.

Patting Akko on the thigh, she silently pleaded for her to get off as well so that Diana could ease up for a stretch, already feeling all the little knots and kinks in her body that had formed; from her stiff position during work, or from this little stunt her family had pulled, she didn’t know where they came from, she just wanted them gone.

Maybe she should see a massage therapist some time. Simply extending your limbs out and rolling your head ‘round about did little to assuage the discomfort. This must have been evident to her companions as she felt deft hands working their magic on her. A grateful sigh escaped her lips as she leaned back into that touch, feeling a small kiss planted on her bare shoulder.

Maybe that magic was a little too good as Diana felt the sweet summons of slumber whisking her away quite fast. She hardly minded. Sleep was good. Good... goo...

“...Diana?” A poke on her cheek. “Are you falling asleep? Don’t tell me you already are. I mean, sleeping while sitting down like this is impressive, don’t get me wrong.”

So close. She was so close. Maybe she could get away with it. Maybe she could just go with the flow of things and pass out. She was right on the edge, anyway, and Akko wouldn’t be able to do anything about it-

“You’re awake, aren’t you?” She could practically hear that grin in her wife’s voice.

“I am, but please. Just for this morning. Let me sleep.” She sounded weak and pathetic, almost crying; but it didn’t matter if that meant they’d give her her alone time- for the rest of the morning, preferably. She hoped they’d get the hint. She didn’t just want to outright tell them to leave, because... she couldn’t tell them.

“Hmmm...” Akko was thinking about. Akko was actually contemplating it. Diana could already taste sweet peace and rest, right there on her tongue.

‘Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes.’

“No.”

“But whyyyy?” Diana whined uncharacteristic of her, drunk on sleep deprivation.

“Because it’s already noon! And you said, ‘morning’, so your time is up, sweetie.”

Blue eyes shot open, darting for the clock they’d already seen the first time this morning. “What? No, it isn’t, Akko.”

“Huh?” Akko’s eyes trailed after her gaze, staring at the item on their bedside table, looking like she was trying to piece together some sort of puzzle. “Ah.”

Ah.

Was that all she was going to say? Really?

“I should seriously get that fixed today.” Akko uttered in dismay, moving off the bed, and taking the timepiece into her possession, examining it. “Or should I just buy us a new one? I think something important broke.”

“What...”

A small hand raised to get Diana’s attention. “We thought it would be cool to turn it into a talking clock... so we tried some magic....”

Diana didn’t follow.

“Whew, good thing it failed though, right girls? Wouldn’t want the bureau coming in with questions about the use of taboo life magic-”

“What.”

“Nothing.” Three voices piped up in synch. Diana felt her stomach churn. She was going to throw up. Or pass out. Or both. It was so early in the mor- no, scratch that. She had just woken up, and these little rascals were already presenting her with a headache to don for the rest of the day.

“No, no, no. Say that again. I’m very interested in hearing about that.” Diana faced three brunettes, the tiny pair almost looking like exact clones of the adult (Diana wasn’t sure anymore) woman, now back on the bed, in front of her once more, eyes meeting anything that wasn’t Diana’s narrowed ones.

“More importantly!” Akko clapped her hands.

“What could be more important than making sure you three aren’t in any sort of trouble?!”

“We’re going into town, today!” High-pitched, high-volumed cheering wasn’t what Diana needed at the moment, temples throbbing all the more.

“Says who?” She questioned, really wanting an out and some rest. And an aspirin. And maybe some sleeping pills.

“Come on. What are you saying, Love? We’re finally going out today after all this time spent cooped up in this dusty old mansion!” Akko pouted, pinching Diana’s cheek to keep her awake. “Sparkly Downtown Time!”

“-I happen to like said, ‘dusty old mansion’.” Diana murmured, rolling her eyes. “Does it really have to be today?” She sighed.

“You promised us!” Akko exclaimed, turning to signal for assistance from her three cohorts. “Right?”

Diana gazed upon the three children in front of her- No. Four. Her wife was being one, as well.

“I must have told you any time this week, right?”

“Nope. You said today. Today. This lovely Sunday morning, sun shining, a few clouds to shade our path, traveling along with the aide of the gentle breeze that refreshes. Perfect for being outdoors.”

“Or sleeping.”

“Outdoors.”

“Indoors.”

“Diana.”

“Akko.”

Her wife huffed out an irritated little breath, folding her arms in front of her. “You really don’t want to go out today?” She schooled her gaze on Diana, scanning her (very tired, the head Cavendish would argue) features. Diana felt those eyes run over every inch of her face, as well as frame. They flickered about, meeting Diana’s own from time-to-time, searching. “You... really don’t want to?”

Was she going to give in? Should Diana push for it? “Yes, I really want to rest. I’m tired, Akko.”

She then saw the softening gaze that was reserved just for her. Akko had a warm look for everyone she loved, but this one was special. Only Diana’s. “You’re really that worn out?” She mumbled, softer, hand reaching over to caress Diana’s face. Her thumb brushed over a pale cheekbone, sighing empathetic at the sight of those dark circles under the brightest blue eyes.

Diana didn’t answer. She simply hummed her contentment at the feeling, the touch of those familiar hands. She knew Akko already knew. She was aware that her wife always looked after her, always watching. Ever attentive and loving. She knew who it was that left little notes alongside tea that soothed her stress away, and healthy sweets that gave her just enough energy to make it through another hour of her hectic day. She knew who it was that orchestrated the little team of flower pickers that left fresh bouquets that came straight from their garden, the daily gift bringing in beautiful splashes of color into her otherwise dull office.

As much as she wanted to grant their little request of being taken out for some fun in town, Diana really felt like her body would not cooperate with her, and they’d be in for more disappointment than enjoyment. She felt bad, as she did recall promising to finally set some time aside for them, but with how fatigued she was, she feared she’d cause them worry or troubles instead.

“Okay.” Akko whispered, with a smile and a nod. Leaning forward to plant a soft peck on Diana’s lips, then on her ring finger where the symbol of their eternal bond lay, Akko let up, pulling back and facing three patiently waiting daughters. “Well, you heard her, my babies. It’s a no-go for today.”

“Awww!! But mummy!”

“Hey. You girls know how busy mummy has been.” Akko scolded with love, patting the twins’ heads, before picking Logan up, and placing her on her lap, nuzzling her cheek as the toddler remained blank-faced, but with a stare directed at Diana that was laced with longing.

“B-but... but...” The twins wore crestfallen expressions now; their gazes flitted back and forth, switching their attention between her and Akko’s gentle warning face.

Diana looked at three pairs of beady little eyes begging her. It twisted her heart into knots, knowing that she really hadn’t spent enough time with them this week. There were just so many matters with the hospital and land renovation going on on the Cavendish property that she couldn’t even spare dinner some time to be with them all.

But those sparkly little orbs... Those eyes... They compelled her. She... she couldn’t say, ‘no’.

“But Mama! She promised...” Diana felt her soul tremble at a little whimper Logan did, as well as the crack in Mei’s voice.

“H-how... S-supper. How about supper?” Diana asked. “I’ll take you all out, tonight. We can have some fun. F-fun. You... you girls... like fun?”

Gosh, she needed sleep. Her mind couldn’t come up with words anymore. Or coherent thoughts to express properly.

“I hear there’s a new carnival?”

All the eyes on her blinked.

Then smiles broke out, a flurry of excited energy hitting her, knocking her down onto the bed. The girls had tackled her, and hugged her for dear life, and Diana had to admit that this? This was bliss.

One-by-one they got off her, allowing Diana to sit up. They planted their grateful kisses on her, Diana feeling their happiness in each one, making her tear up a bit. The twins had given her one on each cheek, at the same time. Akko had given her the sweetest kiss on the lips with a little nibble for extra service. She then allowed little Logan to crawl onto Diana’s lap, the lass beckoning her mother down with her stubby little hand, before placing her kiss on Diana’s forehead. She swore her heart died a little at how precious it all was.

“It’s a date, okay? Okay, Diana?” Akko squealed, quite thrilled. She high-fived the twins, kissing the tops of their heads, before kissing Logan’s cheek as well. Diana’s chest warmed at the scene in front of her.

“Mum, it’s a date!” Kotone cheered.

“A date with mum!!!” Mei agreed, as the twins launched themselves onto Diana again, slim arms wrapped around her neck, loosely, from both sides.

“Date. Thank you, mummy.” Logan smiled softly, hand outstretched for Diana to take in her own.

Ahhh. They were all just so... so... They were all just so wonderful, and Diana couldn’t love them any more than she already did. No, maybe she could? They were all such angels, they deserved even more love. Oh wow. Maybe she should buy them some new toys, or dresses. Or maybe they’d like something from the carnival. Should she just buy them their own carni-

“Diana, my love. I think you should sleep before you’re thinking jumps to the extreme.” Akko laughed, giving Diana another kiss. “You’re saying all of that out loud, by the way.”

Diana blinked.

“Come on, do your thing. Sleep. We’ll wake you up around five. Unless you want to have some lunch with us right now.” Akko offered her hands for Diana to take, leading her out of bed with her before picking Logan up as the twins got down on their own.

“Mama, I can walk by myself!” Logan declared to Akko, wanting to be placed down and tread the halls alongside everyone else, on her own two feet like the rest of her family.

“Okay, baby.” Akko laughed, allowing Logan her little wish.

She stood, a legs a little shaky at first, before stabilizing herself and grinning in triumph. It didn’t last long, before a bashful expression replaced it, a hesitant smile playing on her lips. “Mama?”

“Hmm? What is it?” Akko listened.

“I can walk by myself.”

“Mhm? I know you can.”

“I can walk by myself, b-but... I still need you to hold my hand.”

Akko’s smile grew so wide, Diana thought it just looked so beautiful.

Wordlessly, the Akko took her youngest by the hand, walking slowly crouching just a tad so that Logan wouldn’t have to reach high up. Diana relished the sight. She then offered her hands to her twins, the pair accepting gleefully, swinging the joined hands as they walked towards the dining table.

Diana was still a little tired, but the joy her family exuded, and her love for them was enough of an energizer for her to keep on going each and every day, doing her best for them and working her hardest.

Didn’t mean she wanted no sleep anymore, though.

“Can we take that afternoon nap, together? I want sleep but more than that, I want... cuddles.” Diana confessed.

And with a group hug to squish her once more, she had her wish granted.

“Sure.”

Notes:

A/N: So, these kiddies are my hc for them haha. I was supposed to introduce them via another story, with how their names came about and all that, but... well. Maybe next time. Some info is that Mei and Kotone are twins, as previously mentioned, with Akko’s hair color. Identical. Although Mei has slightly wavier hair. They kind of look like Akko, but Kotone has Diana’s eye color. For their eyeshape, something between Akko’s and Diana’s? Yeah.

As for Logan, I posted something on tumblr last time? She kinda looks like Diana. You'll see. Once... once I can show you, lol. Haha. If you don’t follow me on tumblr, you can’t find me... yet. I’ve been tagged explicit for reasons unknown to me so... rip. This is the second time too haha. Welp. Til next time!

~Shintori Khazumi

#diakko #dianakko #lwa #Little Witch Academia #fanfic #diana cavendish #kagari atsuko #Kotone Kagari-Cavendish #Mei Kagari-Cavendish #Logan Kagari-Cavendish #diakko kids basically #buncha oneshots #family life #twins

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rethesun · 3 years

Text

Is there a name for middle lane larries?

Topic: An opinion on larry

I think there is substantial compelling evidence, but I'm not 100% convinced that there is still something but it’s possible there is we just don’t see.

If someone calls me a larrie, it's not insulting at all, but if someone were to call me an anti i’d be sad, honestly. Below I say many things that make it seem like I negatively judge hardcore larries, but I don't. I find it extraordinary that people can be so brave and sure of themselves, and I wish I could be too. I tend to get along with larries, while I mostly avoid antis unless they manage to be respectful, which is unfortunately quite rare.

I think it's practically effortless to get toxic when trying to prove or disprove things. I think it's dehumanizing and feels stressful to me as a fan. Therefore I can only imagine the difficulty and what it takes for people in a position of fame to get to a place of inner strength and resilience where the millions of opinions of the world don't affect them as much. It's sometimes hard to judge/differentiate what is and isn't disrespectful, and it hurts terribly to know I'm crossing boundaries. So I'm putting my opinion together in hopes it isn't as counterproductive or pointless as it feels.

I'm not at all trying to convince anyone of a narrative to sway people to believe or not believe. What and how much you know and where you "stand" is down to you.

Do I believe in larry?

First and foremost, being a fan of someone means supporting that person without expecting anything from them. It means any fan theory isn't crucial. What’s important is just supporting them as is, as an individual. It means caring about how the person may feel about things more than caring about how I feel about things that aren't my business in the first place.

That said, here is my not long-awaited opinion.

I think there is substantial compelling evidence, but I'm not 100% convinced that there is still something but it’s possible there is we just don’t see. I will not disregard what Harry and Louis said back in the day and pretend they had nothing when at the very least, Harry said it on video directly twice. Yes, he was a kid, but people will decide Harry is with a skinny blonde woman older than him for much less, so I don't take what he said as a platonic joke. However, I try to be as realistic as possible. As an outsider, it's not easy for my brain to conclude on most things. However, this doesn't mean I disregard how bad the industry can be. One big reason is that I don't know any of these people personally, and I want to believe in the best in others. Even though I understand controlling narratives in the industry happens and happened to 1D. I don't know to what extent. It's hard for me to judge that any or all of Harry's "relationships" are fake, and thus, he's had a few "stunt" songs for those relationships, etc. It’s plausible that he wrote female pronouns on a song or a few and the song refers to a man/men but that's far from saying this is a stunt song which would imply an entire fake relationship which is too far for me to say wasn't real as I am just an outsider.

Whether people say it's the fans who say it or the boys behavior, the statement, 'larries ruined their friendship,' is sometimes interpreted as centered around homophobia. I do not see it this way.

However, whether there was or is a relationship, it's entirely reasonable to consider, the circumstances as a whole hurt them and likely the rest of the band in multiple ways that made things really hard. I do not think fans ruined the band or their connections with each other. I think being overworked with little freedom or breaks to discover/express independence were just a few reasons why.

Why I think larry appeared to become distanced to the public eye: 1. Understandably, putting blame on the heteronormative gender restrictive times we were in and still are in. 2. How some fans react to Larry's interactions due to reason number one. Otherwise, all the 1D members, their families, and friends have been honest. That would mean there isn't an elaborate conspiracy; they are just tired of people messing with who they care about and want to live without the harassment. Regardless of whether some fan theories are accurate or not, people in the spotlight and their families deserve peace of mind. They don't deserve to be dehumanized. I wish some fans would understand how wrong it is to swarm people or ask strangers to confirm any personal things. Not only because it's rude and invasive but because of mental health. If that's confusing, imagine if it were you in their position.

I used Zayn's interview because he shared it eloquently while the other mentions that ‘Larry isn't real’ were mostly screen captures of constituents replying impatiently to larry comments on social media saying the Larry thing is delusion and not what real fans do. Zayn in this 2015 fader interview. "There's no secret relationships going on with any of the band members," he explains. "It's not funny, and it still continues to be quite hard for them. They won't naturally go put their arm around each other because they're conscious of this thing that's going on, which is not even true. They won't do the natural behavior." He goes on to add to the statement, "But it's just the way the fans are. They're so passionate, and once they get their head around an idea, that's the way it is regardless of anything. If it wasn't for the passionate, like almost obsession, then we wouldn't have the success that we have." Before the subject changes, Zayn said that fans would find a way to water down what he said and make any excuses, e.g., that he couldn't speak the truth.

I can't speak for anyone but myself. (I’m a queer cis female) I don't think I would want to 'get dragged through a round of 'coming out' press. Why should sexuality be treated as an oddity by the median, and why should queer people have to subject themselves to that treatment?' The amount of coming out stories and things that could follow a person, or the people around, in the aftermath, would be atrocious. People, personally and professionally, may treat you differently after. The queer stereotypes would be exhausting. Also, it's not always as safe sometimes to be out. Whether there was/is a relationship at all between 1D members. “Being open to everyone isn't easy. Now imagine yourself no less human than right now, but add millions of eyes on you. It's insensitive to assume about someone when they could be doing their best/what is comfortable—please let's stop invalidating what we don't understand.”

Zayn's career connects to Hollywood, and he’s in the spotlight so it's not easy to suddenly believe everything I hear and see is the truth just because someone like him said it. However, at the same time, it's rather discomforting for me to disregard and look into everything people like Zayn or his constituents say. I want to believe the best in people and sympathize and “back him up” in a sense. It's also way to hard to believe all things other fans say because we are passionate and obsessed, so there is confirmation bias.

Do I concretely believe anything?

Yes, but those things don't directly confirm or deny anything especially Larry.

I believe the boys were responsible for RBB & SBB.

I have some reason to believe the song Carolina could be about experimentation with drugs since Johnny Cash's Cocaine-Carolina song is plausibly similar. Also, it's not uncommon if you're wealthy or famous to experiment with drugs, including harmful drugs; the environment can make it more accessible and normalized. I don't condone drug abuse; I hope Harry is wise enough not to make it a reoccurring thing. I want him naturally happy and healthy, but it's not my life, and I don't know him to have any right in making that call. I trust from Harry's character and what he said in his Zane Lowe interview that he knows better. However, the song Carolina might be about Townes or maybe it's both, I have no clue.

I believe SOTT is about "fundamentals" like Harry said it is, not just from the perspective of 'a mother telling the child to go forth and conquer.' I notice some people readily look over the childbirth story, saying 'it makes no sense,' but it can easily coincide with fundamentals, "Equal rights for everyone, all races sexes, everything." Check out this in depth lyric analysis?

I think most of us know and support that Harry is a proud member of the community. If he wasn’t he’d just say that.

I think maybe COAC and SOTT may have been collaborative. There are multiple writers on both songs and if it’s possible to have a ghost writer then I say it's plausible they chose to write them similarly.

I think Louis possibly queer codes. Straight people don’t queer code so you might think it’s queer baiting but I don’t think someone sick of gay rumors would go that route. Either that, or he's a passionate and sympathetic ally.

However, Louis is still "with" E. From a perspective of committed fans, it doesn't look like a sincere relationship. As an outsider, again, it feels far too presumptuous for me to have a B&W opinion.

It seems that adults with somewhat official platforms let rumors run rampant, and not many grown adults of the time seemed to correct or silence it. I should have said this early and cannot stress this enough, ANYONE who is not the Louis Tomlinson or in his family tree is in no way an official source. If they're acting like they know things (not just reporting on what's happening), they were/are either trolling or want people to freak out for clout. Being led astray by people looking to capitalize on fans is always a danger. It's insensitive, inappropriate, and unprofessional, but it happened. I am surprised by that and that 1D's management didn't try to protect Louis and his image more. I’m not an insider able to judge him negatively or to overanalyze the situation. So I won't assume he's not a dad, and I hope he's doing well.

(About the above paragraph about Louis this is an update after the original post I made to say I don't have a further developed opinion because I never looked into it and don't know if I will so don't hold that against me please I just personally don't feel like it’s a thing I need to do and I know larries don’t appreciate when non-larries make comments on things without thoroughly looking into things so you won’t see a further opinion from me or judgment unless I do actual research)

In conclusion, and to reiterate, I feel like there is some truth to some things. Again, it feels disrespectful or too presumptuous for me to have many opinions, especially of the negative kind, as an outsider. I don't know any of these people personally, and I want to believe in the best in others. I am not harshly judging things because I don't have a complete story or the right to. However, this doesn't mean I disregard how bad the industry can be to people in multiple ways.

As fans, we can do much better. It's not unreasonable to wish people didn't constantly objectify/sexualize people with fame and didn't harass them/their families about fan theories. Also, always wanting something from these people and expecting them to fulfill god-like expectations as if they don't go through the same human experience and aren't completely flawed like the rest of us, or stalking them—something sick and a behavior that's saddening and disgusting. Real fans just leave them be to live their lives. Please call out stalking and discourage it if you notice it. Overall, I think we can all be a bit more respectful and understanding or try to make an effort. I'm not a superfan, but I'd like to be genuine and not a reason why these people dislike being in the spotlight. I feel like that means being as grounded, realistic, and sensitive about how these people may feel about things more than caring about how I feel about things that aren't my business in the first place. It ultimately means any fan theory isn't crucial. What’s important is just supporting them as is, as individual.

[#’s are for exposure and may not correlate]

#larry #music industry #1d #fans #one direction #harry styles #liam payne #nial horan #zayn mailk #louis tomilson #an opinion on larry #rethesun #source: me

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