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sofiasluxuryfinds · 5 months

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New bag from DHgate 💕

Very good quality 💕

Link:

http://sale.dhgate.com/2c6nUd27

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sniperct · 2 years

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I love rings of power so much

#Bougie Tolkien Junk Food #it's high budget fanfiction and it's really good fanfiction at that

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callme-sc0ttie · 2 years

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#fashion #thrifstorefinds #thrifting #shein dress #sheinswimwear #gigi hadid #gigi hadid icons #hacks #style tips #y2k moodboard #styleblogger #fabric #luxury #budget #itai no wa iya nano de bougyoryoku ni kyokufuri shitai to omoimasu #bougie

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midigated · 5 months

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being an adult means making homemade lunchables

#i bought meat/cheese/cracker from aldi so its bougie on a budget

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wigoutlet · 5 months

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In a world of Bougie and Broke Choose Proletariat and Prosperous

by WigOutlet

#influencers #trendy #bougie #bougieandbroke #finfluencer #finance #redbubble #redbubbleartist #redbubbleshop #proletariat #proletarian feminism #wigoutlet #personal finance #budgeting #financial freedom #moneymanagement

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superfitbabe · 10 months

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Mid-Year Check-In (2): Playlists to Change for the Better

For part 1 of my mid-year check-in series, click here! Welcome back to the second blog post of my mid-year check-in series! For the past half of the year, I’ve replaced the vast majority of the information (including books, videos, and audio) I consume with more educational, lifestyle, and conversational content that bring value, encouragement, and a sense of enlightenment. Truth is, I used to…

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milk5 · 12 days

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it's worth noting that discussion of the farm bill is virtually null in leftist circles despite being a rapidly developing topic that commands an extremely large budget that is primarily and overwhelmingly SNAP funding.

repubs have total control over this narrative among rural people; there's an assumption that the urban poor are being propped up and farmers neglected -- within their own bill.

this is not the fault of the rural people; it is the result of democrat/leftist neglect to even attempt to bother discussing the mechanics of the bill. it is not reasonable to expect busy people to be fluent in a rapidly-changing 1,000 page document written in legalese all to inform 1 vote.

the short of it is that YES it DOES support the poor while simultaneously supporting small-scale farmers.

I'm sure that many people have this idea that organic/local/etc food is a stupid bougie luxury and inaccessible to the non-wealthy -- this is true to an extent in many areas, but the SNAP funding in the bill aims to help alleviate this via mediating the small-scale farmers and the poor (which are not inherently two separate classes, mind you) via the establishment of SNAP benefits to vendors like local produce stores and farmer's markets.

my local farmer's market has had such a system set up for some time now; the market staff sells tokens to customers that can be used at any vendor and subsequently cashed in as payment from the market -- SNAP support has integrated a dollar-for-dollar deal that allows customers on SNAP to get a free dollar-equivalent token for each dollar spent, essentially resulting in a 50% discount at every vendor without the vendors being negatively impacted whatsoever. this allows for VERY high-quality fresh food to be competitive with supermarket prices, but without strain to the farmer.

there should be more eyes on this, everyone deserves good food

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kiefbowl · 10 months

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honestly sometimes to save money you do have to spend it. if you deny yourself the things you want to really do like take an art class or start a gym membership or go on that vacation you've always dreamed of but don't have any budget plan to get those things, you won't actually save money. you will hold on to your money without purpose, denying yourself enjoyment, and then you will justify one hundred "little" expenses a week that don't really give you joy and actually cost way more than the $100 a week you want to spend on that bougie yoga studio. oh me and my girl friends can't do a fun brunch every sunday because that's going to cost me $60 so I'm going to be so sad but anyway let me get 6 or 7 $20 purchases a week from starbucks because a pathetic little sandwich and a shitty coffee drink makes me feel better. STOP THAT! instead of waiting around without a plan, spend the money you want to spend on worthwhile things and learn how to make that money stretch. Learn how to save for the things you can't lose by investing in those things, not waiting.

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la-bruja · 8 months

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when you dont know if u wanna kiss him or fight him

GHOSTBAR shines brightly in the late hours of the light, its luminous green neon colors discerningly familiar for unknown reasons. The lights sit heavy on the smog of Gotham, casting a soft green glow upon the people standing in line outside the bar. As the people chatter and move the green swirls in the air around them.

Jason shook off the chill of the night and walked ahead of the line. Ignoring the shouts behind him, he tossed a smug smile to the bouncer and flipped off the line of patrons as he entered the bar. With Bruce's platinum credit card, he's surely able to afford any of the high priced alcohol at this bougie ass high end bar. Of course, none of the colorful drinks will be for him. He's only here for information.

Jason sidles up the bar, squeezing his broad self in-between two others and flags down the bartender. He flashes the silver card at the man, ”Whiskey on the Rocks. And make it quick, will you?“ The bartender rolls his green eyes, and snatches the card out of Jason's hand. ”Starting a tab?“

Jason smiles, all teeth. ”Sure thing, sweetheart. And bring something sweet and fruity for these lovely ladies next to me.“

The bartender huffs and moves away, to make the over-priced drinks and possibly over-charge Jason even more on the tab for his attitude.

His working girls giggles at him, and one of them gives him a kiss for his attitude before dropping back onto the bar-stool next to him. He feels the lipstick linger and has to make an active choice to not wipe it away.

Jason feels one of the others drape herself over his shoulders, her acrylic nails raking up his bare arms, leaving tiny raised red lines. Her warm breath ghosts over his ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

”Rumor says The Penguin tried to bluster his way in and the owner kicked him straight out. Threatened to take a bat to his knees, even.“

Jason gives a surprised chuckle that gets lost in the harsh EDM music that thumps around them. ”A man after my own heart.”

The bartender returns, with enough drinks for all the ladies around him, and with a basket of fries. The fries are covered in cheesy nacho sauce and ground meat. There's also a disconcertingly vibrant green sauce swirled on top, its sheen disturbing under the artificial lights of the club. The bartender slides Jason a take-away tin of ranch and a bottle of ketchup to go with the fries.

The lights finally flicker to shine utop the bartender and Jason can see that his name tag reads DANNY and that he is wearing a he/him pin on his vest. The black text is stark against the white ghost shape pin. Jason's flicks his eyes up, and they catch on the man's matching skunk stripe. The white is bright, almost glowing against Danny's dark almost raven black hair. Suddenly his vibrant green eyes feels like a threat and Jason has to swallow down the urge to take a swing.

Danny grins at him, canines peeking out from under black lips, his lipstick slightly smudged. His eyeliner is also smudged in the exact manner that Danny's eyes crinkle and Jason feels the urge to fight simply whoosh out of him. Unsettling, but necessary.

”No worries big guy, seems like you need it.“ Danny blows him a kiss and moves onto other patrons.

Jezzabelle laughs and gives Jason a matching kiss on his other cheek. Her hand lingers on his shoulder and Jason lets himself be pulled further into her personal space. Her nose buries into his hair and Jason gets a strong whiff of her perfume. It smells like cheap vanilla, with cinnamon? Out of season for this time of the year. He'll have to up the budget for them.

”Not everyone gets that specialty but it seems that only metas or the meta-adjacent gets it.“ She murmurs.

Jezzabelle pulls away only to lean back in and press a kiss to his hairline. Jason rolls his eyes and valiantly does not wipe it away. Jezzabelle laughs, her hand coming up to hide her smile while the other one swipes at his fries, taking a few that don't have the mysterious green sauce.

Well. At least Jason finally knows why there's been an upsurgence in meta powers happening in the alley. He pretends to nurse his whiskey, occasionally spilling some when he's sure no one will notice. Making up his mind, Jason sets down the glass, the ice cubes barely clinking under the pounding music, and reaches for the basket of fries, dragging it closer to him.

Uncertainly, Jason decides to pour the ranch over the fries, making sure to smother the green sauce. He musters his lackluster appetite and takes a bite of the loaded fries. It tastes like the best greasy junk food he's ever had. Jason apologizes to the chili dogs of his childhood and begins to devour the fries. The bartender drifts by and slides him another whiskey.

Danny gestures to the empty glasses of the working girls that were sitting near him and Jason nods his ascent. Danny winks, blows Jason another kiss and whisks off. Jason feels his shoulders relax, and grabs his new whiskey, and just fucking downs it in one go.

Jason. Doesn't know why he just did that. He feels suddenly anxious and stands up. His body tips, hips bumping into the bar. It jostles him. The pounding of the music matches the beat of his heart. And all of a sudden, Jason feels relaxed and he leisurely swings his glass in the air, catching Danny's attention. He's in the middle of shaking some drinks for the women at the other side of the bar.

“Another round for any lovely lady! On the house!” Jason yells, he's certain he's drowned out by whatever music is playing and he doesn't find it in himself to care.

Danny smiles, eyes crinkling and eyeliner smudging. He tells the women he's serving the good news and they cheer. Danny hands them their drinks and then blows another kiss to Jason. The gathered ladies laugh and also drunkenly blow him another kiss.

Jason throws his head and laughs. He sits drunkenly back onto the bar-stool. He shouldn't be this out of it over a glass of whiskey. The loaded fries shimmer in front of him, and Jason simply can't resist the temptation.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp crossover #dead on main #thinking thoughts #when she ghost on my bar til i #i swear i know how to write

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thebibliosphere · 9 months

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NINE YEARS on here and I have NEVER seen your face??!?? I always imagined you living in the forest with a thick purple velvet cloak and hands dripping with rings and gemstones. I bet you don't eVEN HAVE A COTTAGE filled with ageless furniture you foraged from bougie wood stumps!!!!!

I can't even begin to tell you why I imagined you like that. You've always been one of the most dominant voices on my feed and Everytime you post about your health my brain just goes "Awe yes, the witch acquired more silver rings. Nature is healing"

Honestly, no one's more disappointed than me 😂.

Eldritch cottage witch vibes with an IKEA budget.

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seattlesolace · 5 months

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Heeseung

He’s the type to be dragged anywhere, will be okay with any suggestions you make, be it dinner at a fancy restaurant, a budget food chain, or even just a cozy night at home with delivery food.

When ordering, he’s also the type to let you pick, answering with “I don’t mind,” or “sure, let’s get that.”

Is a very neat and quiet eater, which makes for the perfect dinner partner if you are the talkative type. If you’re not, then you are both comfortable in silence.

Does not say much but still eats a lot. If he sees some food on your plate untouched, he’ll ask if you’re going to eat it.

Proactively orders for you or calls the waiter whenever you need anything.

Orders dessert from the start, knowing your order by heart.

When you offer to split the bill, he reluctantly agrees, but then ends up giving his card to pay full.

You still want to hang out at a café after dinner, and of course he’ll say yes.

Jay

Will opt for a bougie restaurant or a self-grill place where he can showcase his cooking skills.

If you’re at a restaurant, you’ll be asking him about each menu and he’ll tell you everything he knows about it.

If you’re grilling your own food, expect to never touch the tongs, for he will be in charge of all the cooking and plating.

When he confidently says something and the owner or the waiter of the place does the opposite, proving him wrong, you just shoot him a little smile to reassure him that it’s fine.

Seems to fit a lot of food in his mouth but gets full fast, will try to match your pace in eating.

You need a napkin? He’ll reach out for it first. Your chopsticks fell? He’ll give you his before he asks for a new pair. You got something on your mouth? He’ll nonchalantly wipe it away with his thumb.

Don’t even try to offer to split the bill, you won’t even have the chance. He’ll excuse himself to the restrooms and the next thing you know your meal is already paid for.

On the walk home, he’ll discuss with you the plus points of the place you just ate in, and he’s already planning the next dinner date.

Sunghoon

Actually decides on a fixed place before you get the chance to suggest one. His go-to menu: steak.

Recommends the best cut and the best doneness, but in the end let’s you choose according to your taste.

When the meal comes, he asks the waiter to put your plate in front of him, which confuses you, but then he quickly cuts up the steak into pieces before handing over your plate to your side.

He will then listen to you talk while you eat as he cuts his own steak and also try to match your pace.

He’s the type to let you know if you have something on your teeth or your mouth, tapping his own lips while tilting his chin, then offering you a napkin.

Is a bit dad-like in the sense that he encourages you to finish everything on your plate, but if you’re too full then he’ll finish it.

Makes sure all the food you ordered are cleared out before ordering dessert, or offering to get dessert someplace else.

You beat him to paying, and he sulks a bit, but then promises he’ll treat you to the next dinner date.

Jake

Is absolutely delighted when you said you found a new place, asks a lot of questions about it on the way there.

Spends a lot of time figuring out what to order, wondering how big the portion is, also wondering if the owner would be kind enough to give extras.

Places the order for you both and accurately calculates the total that you have to pay later.

When the order comes and he sees how thick the meat is, he dramatically stands up (and you quickly tug his sleeve to pull him back to his seat) while exclaiming “is this for real???”

Is actually, secretly an expert at cooking the meat. He still actively talks to you but never burns a piece or has anything undercooked.

Despite his occasionally embarrassing loud voice, his table manners are quite good. He faces the other side when checking his teeth in your pocket mirror, and he makes sure there’s nothing on your face either.

You both cleared out all the food on your table and he is just looking so proud of you for eating a lot.

Happily splits the bill with you but then he takes you to a café for dessert and ends up paying more, which he doesn’t mind at all.

Sunoo

He has been looking forward to having dinner with you for so long that he almost gave up lunch just so he can eat more with you.

Looks at the menu thoroughly, mentioning each dish and asking what you think about it.

Insists on ordering different menus so you can try each other’s dishes, and so he can switch with you if you’re not fond of your own choice.

Claps softly when the food arrives and then glances at you and just bursts out laughing when he sees your amazed face.

Talks a lot with you when he eats that you literally need to remind him to have a bite before the meal turns cold.

Dinner with him takes hours because you both are slow eaters and active talkers.

You have some leftover in the end, and he suggests that you take the food home in case you get hungry by midnight.

Still takes you to an ice cream place after, claiming that there is always room for dessert.

Jungwon

Shows up at your door with several places to choose from, having done research beforehand. You ended up picking a place that he somehow talks so highly of, sensing that he really wants to go there.

Is just giddy by the time you arrive, and you end up being impressed just by the interior of the place.

Decides to be adventurous and orders a dish you both have never tried before, assuring you that if you don’t like it then he will finish it.

Very polite to the staff and waiters, to the point that he even uses slight aegyo just to get the attention of the workers (adorable, not annoying).

Comments on the taste of food every time he takes a bite, encourages you to take a bite to and anticipates your reaction with wide eyes.

Places food on your plate when you’re too busy talking or commenting on your surroundings.

Beats you to the cashier to pay but then finds out he doesn’t have enough cash, so he sheepishly grins and turns to you.

You both stop by a convenience store on the way home and he gets you all the snacks you want to stock up to make up for it.

Ni-ki

He is team meat all the way, just like Sunghoon, but he is honestly happy to eat wherever you take him.

When reading the menu, he is super focused and quiet that you literally have to wave at him to get his attention, and he ends up asking you what each dish means since there is no visual aid.

Becomes intrigued at every single dish you explain that he then has a hard time deciding on one.

You decide to order three dishes to split between the two of you, and he is sceptical at first but eventually trusts you.

As soon as the food arrives, he takes his chopsticks and split the dishes equally, separating your side from his.

When he sees you take a bite, he notices the doubt in your face, and then when you push your spoon towards his side he gets the memo and ends up finishing the dish you didn’t quite like.

He eats a lot and drinks a lot of water, and by the end of the meal he has to excuse himself to go to the restrooms.

When he comes back, you are already done paying. Feels slightly guilty even though you insist it’s alright, and ends up transferring you his part of the bill on the way home.

back to masterlist; back to navigation

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femmefatalevibe · 7 months

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what advice do you have for building a classy, dark energy, femme wardrobe on a budget?

I LOVE these expensive brands I see (YSL, Balenciaga, Jimmy Choo, etc.) but I'm trying to save money for more important things right now.

(plus I can't afford lots of super high end brands on a regular basis, as I'm sure most of us can't lol).

How can I "find dupes" for lack of a better term for these bougie brands I love, or what tips do you have for looking classy and highend on a budget (fashion wise anyway)?

Thanks xoxo

Hi love! I would say the main thing to do is pay attention to fabrics and stitching of garments.

Overall construction matters considerably more than the name on the tag when it comes to building a "high-end" wardrobe. Some fabrics to look for include: 100% cashmere, Pima/Supima cotton/organic cotton, merino wool, genuine leather, and/mulberry silk.

Pay attention to the stitching/buttons or accents on garments. Make sure there are no gaps or loose threads. Look for lined or double-lined items. Darker garments tend to look more expensive. Stick to neutral colors and classic silhouettes for a more "elevated" look.

Some more "affordable" brands (in the mostly $100-$300 range) I love include:

The Frankie Shop

Pixie Market

Massimo Dutti

Manière De Voir

Lilysilk

Reformation

Naadam

Sézane

GAP

Express (for bodysuits/trousers)

Banana Republic

Everlane (the Supima basic tops are great for the price)

Personally, my favorite way to save money on high-end clothes is to use sites like TheOutnet or YOOX and shop the sales sections of designer retailers like Farfetch, Luisa Via Roma, Saks, FWRD, etc. to get the same quality of clothing for less.

Hope this helps xx

#fashion advice #clothing brand #luxury fashion #wardrobe design #wardrobe staples #closet essentials #personal style #black clothing #minimalist fashion #contemporary fashion #fashion #femmefatalevibe #q/a

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seat-safety-switch · 11 months

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SO-LAR-FUCKING-POWER. Or, as the appearance-obsessed image consultants want us to refer to it now, "photovoltaic energy." Yeah, okay, nerds. A lot of people have been shit-talking solar in the press, because they're afraid that individuals will set up their own power generation facilities in their backyards, roofs, sheds, community centres, what have you, and start pumping out electricity. That will make the big electricity corporations sad, so they've paid all these handsome people to come on the news and yell about it.

Let me put it this way: if there were a magic machine in the sky that shot out a bunch of candy bars every day, like an absolute shitload of Milky Ways, and you were hungry, would you run out into the backyard with a bucket? Or would you feel bad about it because Bob Milky Way, up there in his hateful Cadbury tower, is no longer able to perpetuate his existing business model?

Personally, I've gone big-league on solar, mostly because the utility company disconnected my house after decades of non-payment. Now, I can't afford the new stuff: even the cheap panels that the proud people of China throw onto AliExpress are too costly for my budget. What I've done instead is dig through the landfill (after hours, of course) for several hundred solar desk calculators.

These calculators are electronic devices that we used to use before smartphones in order to compute numbers. And they ran on the sun, because replacing batteries is annoying. After breaking open the calculators, I looped their solar cells together in series, and eventually built a big enough panel to cover my entire roof.

When I say it like that, it sounds easy, and this is the myth of engineering progress: it was actually a lot of stop-and-go stuff, bumps in the road. Rooftop fires. Wiring fires. I fell off the roof a few times. The cops came by at one point and were idling in front of my house, waiting to see if I'd come outside so they could bust me for stealing all those calculators from the dump. In the end, though, I am now able to charge my phone for free, and even run my coffee maker if it's a particularly sunny day. That coffee is the best-tasting coffee I've ever had, because it tastes like billionaire tears.

And I won't stop there, either. Things are going to improve dramatically at the old Switch Family Solar Array as my bougie neighbours throw out their old panels in order to upgrade to the latest and greatest. Pretty soon they'll be paying me to take them – I have it on good authority that the dump charges you like minimum $20 this weekend. If you flip to the last page in my investor deck, you'll notice that I have projected to be able to run my refrigerator by 2025. You better get in on this shit, or we'll bury you with the coal.

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tsp-narrator-ask · 11 months

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“ @blackkatdraws narrator!hello there! Right on time come right this way-“

*shattering noises*

“whoops… it seems we are having some technical difficulties here- I certainly forgot I may or may not have placed a tripwire here… oh well! On with the recipe! First you get yourself a nice meaty steak! Preferably wagu style steak if it’s in your budget but any thick cut steak will work! Seer on both sides with some butter, pepper, Salt, and minced garlic! ((Unless your a vampire. If your a vampire you owe me and that moon guy money.)) and lastly to make this meal extra bougie you grate some gold on top… or what ever you may call a close comparison. The only gold I see here is the FOOLS gold who was gullible enough to trip over a wire and shatter… lastly garnish with parsley.”

”and voilà a black kat garlic gold steak!”

Signed the shrimp chef narrator 🦐

#tsp narrator #the stanley parable narrator #your narrator #tspud #the stanley parable #ask the narrator #tspud rp #the stanley parable: ultra deluxe #narrator tsp #narrator #blackkatdraws

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jisungsdaydreamer · 11 months

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Stray Kids as Different Kinds of Shopaholics

Pairing: OT8 x gn!reader Genre: headcanon, fluff, crack Warnings: none

1. Bang Chan- The Idiot

You would think that Bang Chan would be the sensible one when it comes to shopping

This is false.

Unlike the other boys, he doesn’t really have super niche hobbies like art or dance, so he believes that he doesn’t need to spend so much money on such “unnecessary things”

He’ll even hoard coupons and try to use them, even though they expired months ago

But two seconds later, he’ll be whipping out his wallet to buy the most useless shit ever

He would 100% fall for stupid scams, like a self-stirring coffee mug or a “gravity-defying” umbrella hat

As long as they make “life more efficient”

But if you want to buy a book or socks or something, he’ll side eye you and scold you for buying dumb things, as if he just didn’t spend a fortune on an automatic shoe-tying machine

2. Lee Know- The Gordon Ramsay Wannabe

Now Minho is pretty wise with money, except when it comes to one thing

His kitchen

I can absolutely envision him wanting to have an immaculately stocked kitchen

After all, he likes to try making new and elaborate dishes, and he needs the tools for that

Minho will have no problem with buying the fanciest, most expensive supplies

He’ll have a bluetooth wireless cooking sensor to time his roasts from a distance, a soy milk maker, and that KitchenAid artisan mini stand mixer with the fancy beater

He’s so extra that he will even buy a juice extractor to facilitate his morning fix for green juice (gross)

Will get mad if you question his purchases.

3. Changbin- The Gym Bro

Every single exercise contraption known to man will go into his personal home gym

He needs fifty different kinds of weights,

Maybe even those arm exercise bands for when he’s “on a road trip”

Also spends a lot of money on nutrition

Like those organic seed packets or high-quality kale or something so he can make healthy stuff for himself

If you even open your mouth, he will immediately get defensive, explaining why each and every one of his purchases make sense and why you need them too to be healthy

4. Hyunjin- Ariana Grande

The “I want it, I got it” mentality

Going shopping with him has no budget. He hates that word

The kind of person who doesn’t bring a shopping list; he just strolls the aisles and buys anything he wants

Likes buying name brands: Gucci, Versace, Tom Ford, Chanel, and of course, Celine

Bougie bitch right here

LOVES jewelry and accessories even more than clothes; anything that glitters

Might ask you to go shopping with him sometimes just because he needs someone to help him hold all of his bags

Simply will ignore you if you ask him why he needs $5000 in new shirts when he’s already got a closet full at home

5. Han- The Real One

Surprisingly, Jisung would be one of the more practical shoppers

He has a normal budget that he follows religiously, because there’s only one thing that he really wants

Food.

Whenever he goes out, he absolutely must buy a drink. Probably boba, to sip on while walking or when sitting in the car

He’ll have “secret” hiding spots in his room for his snacks

Can’t cook so loves taking it as an excuse to always get food outside & he loves doing it with you

Loves ordering-in all kinds of meals as well, whether it’s pizza or butter chicken

Every morning, Jisung needs to buy his coffee at Starbucks and be all aesthetic, or else he can’t do his work

Pouts when you remind him that you literally have a coffee machine at home.

6. Felix- Santa Claus

Now Felix is also a little like Jisung, being a little more realistic

EXCEPT when it comes to his friends & family, especially you.

Will spoil you rotten will all sorts of gifts, from new clothes to perfume

And he insists on taking you on shopping sprees and showering you with new things you don’t really need

Receiving expensive chocolates imported from Paris or somewhere is a regular thing for you

And he’s even managed to get you a designer bag that even the richest people have to be on waiting lists for

Doesn’t get offended at all when you tell him that he needs to cut down on the spending; he’ll just cutely hold out a pretty dress for you to wear

And how can you refuse him?

7. Seungmin- The Mom

Doesn’t give a crap about being fashionable; definitely stingy when it comes to that

“But Seungmin, that hoodie is seven years old…” “Well it fits, so I can wear it.”

Will lecture people (Hyunjin) on their horrible spending habits

Meanwhile, he’d rather spend time in the cleaning sections

He’ll stock up on extra paper towels and wipes and other practical materials

The kind of shopper to absolutely ADORE sales, and will buy everything with a discount

Would buy snow gear in June just because it’s 5% off and will force you to try on a hideous sweater just because it’s in clearance or something

8. I.N.- The Guilty One

Can’t be trusted when given money to go shopping

You could give him your wallet to tell him to go buy milk and when he comes back, he’ll have his arms full of crap that you didn’t even mention

Is such a binge-shopper that he has no choice but to live simple

Because the moment he steps into Target or the mall or somewhere, it’s over.

You had to stop giving him your credit card and just hand him a limited wad of cash when you need him to run errands for you

TAGLIST @hamburgers101 @chansburgah @ajxreads @hash2013 @pixigreen @ana-marais98 @ohish @chizumiyoshi @lilydaisyyy @jetblackbelle @143hyunes

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writing-nothing-but-spilled-ink · 2 months

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Joker head cannons

He definitely knows how to sew more then that he knows how to make clothing and he's really good with mending and making dresses if he feels like it

He's bisexual with a preference towards men like he has some attraction to woman but I feel like he more so views woman as easier to manipulate and control then men, tho he does have to find the woman attractive otherwise there's no real point for him to be with them, but even when he has a female partner hes still flirting with men any chance he gets and not just Batman but just some rando mobster he meets at one of the many bars in Gotham

He's definitely borrowed one or more of Harley's dresses and has had to make or order her a custom dress because he got blood on the one he borrowed and she's destroying his layer and killing his goons because it was her favorite and if he doesn't remedy it he'll have no competent goons to do his bidding..

Just like he hates Nazis he hates homophobia even more he can't be bothered with other things like abuse or domestic violence or murder but homophobia no he's hunting you down like a dog if he catches you on his turf dating to be homophobic god help you if you make a homophobic comment about him... I just imagine he just smiles and laughs and then kills you the most brutal way possible and then takes your body and starts parading it around Gotham as his date and even goes so far to go into a restaurant with the body orders dinner for both puts it on your credit card and opens a bottle of champagne like would you like more my love and starts cackling while the rest of the staff are horrified, I feel he'd even go so far as to carve words or something into your flesh and then finally dumps the body as a warning..

In that same vain if he's out and about enjoying a day off or day off adjacent for him and he's at a bar hell definitely be the life of the party mans will be flirting hardcore with any man he finds mildly attractive would definitely shoot you for not laughing at his jokes though

He has a whole warehouse full of custom dresses he's designed and had made and suits and other various costumes

He's a really good cook witch no one expects especially with cooking on a budget he can make like a five star meal out of the cheapest ingredients but if he has a choice hes a bit bougie, also I feel like he'd host a cooking class with his goons because they keep fucking up his breakfast and as he's teaching the class one of the goons burns the egg and he goes "oh sweetie that's not it at all", then grabs the goons face and holds it down onto the burner till a circular burn mark is on his face while saying, "I dont want to punish you but if i don't how will you ever learn". He releases him but and tells him to try again the goon surprisingly gets it right..

NOTE: Now this next one it really depends on what iteration of joker but I'm gonna put this around bronze/silver age era where he's less violent and psychotic and in this little thought Harley still exists yes ik she wasn't written till the 90s this is my head canon shut up also this is canon things mixed in with my headcanons so

But I imagine mid fight with one of the bat kids one of them pauses and is like joker can I ask you a question and joker is kind of like thrown off a bit and a thousand percent expects it to be a trick or sucker punched but he goes along with it and is like sure what's your question and the bat kid is like... "Soooooo your not straight right"?! And joker just fucking starts laughing then pauses and is like "kid what about my outfit makes you think ah yes that's a straight man do you think a straight man would flirt with Batman or go out of his way to arrange such lovely dates for batsy if I were straight ". And joker is absolutely laughing because this is the funniest joke he's ever heard to think anyone ever thought he was straight even harley who he was involved with for years knew this about him the moment she laid eyes on him.. the bat kid just kinda staring at him awkwardly ajd joker just is like why do you ask there's gotta be some reason for this question.. the bat kid is like uhh so then your bisexual right so like how did u know you were bisexual what were the indicators you were the first villain I kind of thought of I could ask and also the most available.. joker just pauses and is like alright I'm putting a pin in this plan and calls Harley and tells her to bring a white board and markers witch leads to an hour long lecture on the different genders and sexualities and what they all mean as well as an explanation that not everyone will be an ally

He also goes on to explain that when he was young it wasn't really a good time to be gay or bisexual so a lot of people were repressing part of themselves due to fear of what others would do to them if it got out and how the kid is lucky that the world is more accepting now then it was then he also explains that he and Harley had different experiences in that regard as they grew up in different times seeing as Harley is younger then joker

To put in perspective when Harley was a freshman in college Bruce was already three grades above her and on the cusp of graduating before dropping out

He's secretly a wine drinker

At some point he went to college and graduated with honors

He doesn't like animals views them as filthy and not worth his time

Hes neutral towards children definitely would beef with a child actually does beef with children (the batfam) I feel like he neither likes nor dislikes children like yeah he killed Jason but that was on a whim

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