#bourn out

[lunamarish]

Spiego il bourn-out.

Hai la vita che ti piace, fai ciò che ami, sei realizzata. Hai i tuoi amici, la tua routine, i tuoi hobby. Vivi nella città che ami e che ti emoziona ogni volta che cammini per strada.

Ti innamori. Ti fidanzi. Lui viene trasferito per lavoro in un'altra regione. "Vieni con me?" E che fai? Non vai? Vai. "Tanto sono solo sei mesi." Tu fai sei mesi la pendolare. 2 ore di treno andata e 2 al ritorno. Ti svegli alle 5 e torni a casa alle 9. I mesi diventano 9. Poi un anno e mezzo. Poi 4.

Dopo 4 anni di pendolarità, decidi che se non c'è possibilità di ritorno e devi lasciare il tuo lavoro, i tuoi amici, la tua città. All'inizio è stimolante, poi frustrante. Non trovi nulla che sia nelle tue corde. Accetti il colloquio di una multinazionale molto famosa. Ti prendono subito. Non vorresti ma accetti lo stesso.

Dopo sei mesi di gavetta, ti promuovono subito. Odi il lavoro, ma i colleghi ti piacciono. Ti spostano di ruolo perché un collega se ne va. Ti mettono in un ufficio strategico anche se tu non vuoi. "Sono solo tre mesi". I mesi passano, il capo ti abbandona, ti riempie di attività, ti dice di andare a delle riunioni al posto suo con clienti importanti avvisandoti all'ultimo e tu vai senza avere idea di cosa dire ma qualcosa ti inventi, ti mandano all'estero da sola, ti danno altre attività. Tu lo dici, lo ammetti, "io non ce la faccio." Il CEO viene a parlare direttamente con te. "Tu ti sottovaluti, certo che ce la fai."

Inizi a dover essere reperibile 7/7. Ti scrivono dal Giappone, dal Messico, dalla Thailandia. Devi rispondere. Da te dipende il fatturato. Di giorno fai riunioni, la notte lavori. E piangi. Inizi a soffrire di coliti, gastriti, mal di testa. Non hai più voglia di niente, vuoi solo lavorare, fare tabelle. Mentre cucini controlli le mail, mentre sei a fare un aperitivo rispondi alle mail, mentre sei in spiaggia di domenica fai una call. Non vai ai compleanni dei colleghi, non fai ferie, perché sai benissimo che se non lavori mezz'ora della tua vita resti indietro e tu non puoi restare indietro.

Inizi a soffrire di insonnia, dormi tre ore a notte (se va bene) e sei contenta, perché così puoi lavorare. Prendi 10 kg in un anno, perché mangi male e ciò che mangi sono solo patatine o pane con maionese e crudo. Mangi cioccolato e biscotti. Inizi a prendere delle pastiglie per dormire. La pressione aumenta e ogni tanto ti si annebbia la vista, ma continui a rispondere alle mail. Sei stanca, vorresti solo dormire per una settimana di fila, ma non puoi. Continui a fare call, tabelle, tabelle, ancora tabelle e call. Poi le riunioni. Tabelle. Call.

Gli occhi diventano opachi, la pelle si decolora, inizi a vestirti sempre di scuro, perdi il sorriso. Ti devono operare al dente del giudizio e tu la prima cosa a cui pensi è "sì, però facciamo presto, che devo lavorare." Un'ora dopo l'intervento sei già in ufficio. "Vai a casa." dice il tuo capo, ma tu stai lì, a rispondere ai colleghi, mail, telefono, con due antidolorifici presi contemporaneamente, anche se sul foglietto illustrativo dice di non farlo assolutamente. Senti che non ti può succedere più niente. Questa non puoi essere tu, non ti riconosci più.

Vai a casa e mentre guidi hai un mancamento. Sbandi. Ti riprendi subito. La prima cosa che fai non è chiederti se stai bene, ma controllare le mail sul cellulare. Capisci che vuoi cambiare lavoro.

Inizi a cercare un lavoro che sia meno stressante. Non trovi nulla. Troppo qualificata. Troppo laureata. Troppo giovane. Troppo vecchia.

Hai un mutuo da pagare di una casa che non volevi comprare in una zona dove non volevi stare, un marito accanto felice e realizzato, amici lontani che vorresti avere vicino, una famiglia che invecchia senza che tu possa vederli ancora giovani, e inizi a pensare che l'unica soluzione sia la morte. O un miracolo. Questa non è la tua vita, ti dici, è sicuramente quella di un altro. Continui a essere sempre sul pezzo, ad essere un passo avanti a tutti, puntuale, precisa.

Iniziano a preoccuparsi per te. Sai che devi rallentare, ma non puoi, non riesci più. Sei risucchiata in un vortice e non sai come uscirne. Non ti ricordi più com'è la vita "prima", anzi, a volte dubiti che ci sia stata. Ti sei snaturata a tal punto che non sai più cosa ti piace, e quello che ti piaceva non ha più nessun gusto. Non vuoi più fare niente. L'aria aperta, il sole, la musica, non ti bastano più. Quello che ti riusciva bene, non ti riesce più. Hai la memoria più corta. Non riesci a seguire un film per più di sei minuti. Sei distratta, sei seria, sei senza energia. Non hai più paura del vuoto, perchè ci sei dentro.

Vuoi solo chiudere gli occhi. E spegnerti.

#lunamarish #bourn out #lavoro #sofferenza #dolore #depressione #odio il mio lavoro #tristezza #non so che fare #stanchezza #apatia #sono stanca

[misskatherinewhite]

6 Sachen, für die ich Corona ewig dankbar sein werde!

6 Sachen, für die ich Corona ewig dankbar sein werde! Corona hatte Vorteile, aber auch Nachteile. Ich weiß, dass nicht jeder meinen Post verstehen wird. Da Corona nicht bei jedem Positiv war. Allerdings war Corona bei mir Positiv und ich denke, ich sollte

6 Sachen, für die ich Corona ewig dankbar sein werde! Corona hatte Vorteile, aber auch Nachteile. Ich weiß, dass nicht jeder meinen Post verstehen wird. Da Corona nicht bei jedem Positiv war. Allerdings war Corona bei mir Positiv und ich denke, ich sollte einfach mal danke sagen. Fangen wir mal am Anfang an. Ich habe in der Gastronomie gearbeitet. Der Tag war stressig und ich habe für mein Geld…

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#6 Sachen für die Corona ewig dankbar sein werde! #Bourn out #Filme und Serien #Frauenleben #neuer job #Selbststämdigkeit #Stillstand

[heraldofcrow]

#i had to get this out of my head sorry #it’s been driving me insane for hours #lol #bloodborne #bloodborne memes #jason bourne #CrowMemes

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Here is a concept "painted on Sun" just a cutie

Yea im a bit absent rn i just feel a lil overwhelmed and not so good so i will be talking and interacting less for a while... dw about me tho its all fine

#my art #daycare attendant #sundrop #he looks like a well loved barbie #just painted all over with sharpie #i think i actually bourned myself out a lil bit when i started this blog #i think im just really sensetive and overestimated how much this would take out of me #also this is not a hiatus announcemebt or anything im not going anywhere #i just hope all my moots know i love them and i still think they are super cool eventhough rn i only have energy to like stuff most days #i say all this after working on the next automaton update all day so thats probably coming tomorrow or the day after

[takiki16]

A Fine Chain

UPDATE: Chapter 13/?

Fandom: Jupiter Ascending

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Beta: @gallifreyburning

Relationships: Jupiter Jones/Caine Wise

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Light Dom/sub, Power Imbalance, Royalty, Slavery, Collars, Leashes, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Don’t copy to another site, Dark

Summary: Caine Wise, disgraced ex-Skyjacker and convicted criminal, is suddenly inducted into the service of the enigmatic Queen Nea-Seraphi, mysterious new Recurrence and puzzle to the Entitled social circle. While figuring out the boundaries of his new station, worrying about his old commander, and nursing old wounds from his court martial, Caine finds himself slowly being drawn into the confidence of his royal employer. What could Her Majesty possibly want with a defective splice?

For this chapter I highly recommend a soundtrack!

And also, perhaps, a visual aid 😈😈😈

#jupiter ascending #a fine chain #jupiter jones #caine wise #jupiter ascending fanfic #ja fanfic #michael giacchino #i am SO FORKING PROUD of this chapter you guys #the first draft came out in an absolute fever dream. i pounded that puppy out at 2am and sent it straight to gallifrey #not realizing that PERHAPS. JUST MAYBE. not all of my Beloved Readers will have obsessively rewatched this film as recently/frequently as I #the end result was a LOT clearer and better visualized but HOOOO BOY that sure was a fugue #i have never written that fast in such quantities in my life. i have no idea what hit me #but BEHOLD. MY ODE TO THE CHICAGO CHASE SCENE!!!1 #also for a random bit of trivia the 'code in' scene was lifted straight out of a random memory of the bourne supremacy #Youtube

[kit-middleton]

So, the first time I watched the Teen Wolf movie, after a few seconds of Chris Argent being on screen I thought “who the fuck is this because he doesn’t behave like Chris Argent. Is he possessed or something?”

He talks. A lot. He moves around. A lot. Chris Argent used to be pretty stoic when he wasn’t threatening someone. And still, like, you know, a hunter. Suddenly he’s vomiting his feelings all over the place?

I could accept it because I assumed being with Melissa mellowed him, but it doesn’t look like they’re together? How long did that relationship last? Long enough to undo a lifetime of conditioning?

Turns out he was possessed, but maybe didn’t know he was? The entire thing was a mess, so it’s not super clear. (He’s clearly not the one who freed the Nogitsune, so why did he need to transport it from Japan to California?)

From JR Bourne’s look, I concluded filming happened between two seasons of Mayans, so a bit of Isaac Packer snuck in.

On second watch, though, I noticed one gesture that I’d coincidentally seen a post on here (of course I can’t find it now) of gifs of Stiles going the same gesture. Kind of clasping/rubbing his hands together. Is that on purpose?

Since the last person the Nogitsune possessed was Stiles, did it pick up his mannerisms? And was JR Bourne actively trying to communicate that?

It’s Teen Wolf so, probably not. But it’s a fun tidbit!

#teen wolf #teen wolf movie #giving the teen wolf writers too much credit #jr bourne #nogitsune #out of character or great acting #who knows with that fucking movie

[kinneys]

The Bourne Supremacy (2004) | Franka Potente as Marie Kreutz

#moments I owe truly everything.... #their beautiful home (Home!) and the implication the photo surprises her/isn't normally there #like he left it out for her to see as an apology. god i'm going to die. 2004 #franka potente #the bourne supremacy #bourne #my stuff #jason x marie #my bourne stuff

[10ouncesofmothball]

Day 10 of Deicide: Enlightenment

Can someone make this into a movie?

#one piece #invincible #atla #hellsing #borderlands #fall out boy #imagine dragons #shanghai dragons #venom #the matrix #avengers endgame #yusei fudo #stardust dragon #the offspring #diana krall #evermore #skyrim #jason bourne #electroferatu #Spotify #SoundCloud

[spockvarietyhour]

Marton Csokas

#oh I did not recognize Quinn from Into the Badlands #what without the beard and southern accent #and he was also in Kingdom of Heaven?? enough so that I also singled him out in that movie 11 years ago lol #(now there's a movie i haven't thought about since then) #The Bourne Supremacy #Marton Csokas #The Bourne Supremacy Rewatch

[maeamian]

Genuinely baffles me that XCOM has a reputation for being unfair with its shot hit percentages, like yeah, 90% feels like basically 100%, but also if you take ten of those you'll miss one, and if you take four 75% shots one of those ought to miss, and in fact, if you take the time to do some calculations to it, you'll find that these numbers are pretty accurate because the back end is literally just calling random() to generate a number between 0 and 1 and then comparing that to the percentage it gave you, I don't know this for sure but also I have written code before and it would be insane to have your chance calculating function then function in basically any other fashion, and some very smart people put a lot of time into making sure your computer's pseudorandom number generator produces an even distribution, there's really no way for this to work BUT fairly.

Which brings me to my other point, which is that people are absolutely terrible at intuitively understanding odds without serious training in it, way back when my dad was in college he wrote a fairly straightforward version of Milles Bourne, which is a French card game about taking a road trip, and people accused *it* of cheating, so he went back in and double checked the code, and no, it followed the same rules as players. What he figured out was happening was that people remembered the computer's wins better than their own and were forming a poor internal picture of the statistics because of it. This is my main theory as to why people think XCOM is unfair, particularly since it fundamentally does not match the experience I have playing the game, and no offense but given that I passed Quantum Mechanics II, I am better trained to think about statistics than most people.

#Dad's Milles Bourne game *did* shuffle badly tho #Its shuffling algorithm was imperfect and had a slight bias towards cards remaining in their original position (an extra 1/(n+1) chance) #But the game was unaware of that and it did not affect the choices the computer was making with its hand #We figured that part out four decades later tho talking it through over dinner #This post brought to you by me taking the time to do some calculations about it

[incorrect-mfm-quotes]

WHAT YEAR IS IT!?!?!?

Sorry for not posting in over a year smh, I forgot this account exists. Take some alignment charts as compensation :)

#marvel #marvel comics #mercs for money #not a quote #sorry for only including madcap in half of them #I just couldn't figure out where to place him in the other two #feel free to reblog with your placements though!!! #stingray #marvel stingray #walter newell #deadpool #wade wilson #solo #marvel solo #james bourne #foolkiller #marvel foolkiller #gregory salinger #slapstick #marvel slapstick #steve harmon #terror #terror inc #marvel terror #madcap #marvel madcap #masacre #marvel masacre #alignment chart #alignment chart meme

[stormkpr]

#the 100 #jr bourne #jessica harmon #niylah #sheidheda #just hanging out

[bobbie-robron]

I could see it in his eyes. That any feeling he had for me is long gone.

31-Jul-2017

#robron #robert sugden #aaron dingle #adam barton #Aaron’s back #robert out of the mill #the Bourne set is Aaron’s favorite 🤔 #the posse has arrived to run robert out of town #robert not deserving to be happy #it’s too late for that #it’s over for good #20170731 #robron episodes 2017

[beatriceportinari]

rainy and grey today i'm gonna get some pho i think

#told my dad i'd go in town to get some art materials for him actually hihi #he is still testing out his colored pencils btw.... #xou would not believe the jason bourne stuff he's putting them through

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

I'm working on Spider-Man varients of the Mercs for Money right now because A; Spider-Verse brainrot and B; my brother wanted me to make Stingray into a spider-dilf, so uh. I'll probably post those eventually :)

#the only one I'm not doing is Deadpool #partially because there is for SURE already a Spider-Man/Deadpool fusion out there somewhere #and also because I don't really know how to creatively combine Deadpool and Spider-Man skfkvkekfkekd #I also won't do Madcap because I don't really feel like it and in my head he's less of a member and more of an antagonist to the Mercs? #maybe I'll do him as Green Goblin tho who knows #marvel #marvel comics #mercs for money #deadpool #stingray #marvel stingray #walter newell #solo #marvel solo #james bourne #masacre #marvel masacre #terror #terror inc #marvel terror #foolkiller #fool killer #gregory salinger #slapstick #marvel slapstick #steve harmon #spider-man #spiderverse

[kyngsnake]

some messy little doodles to get a feel for a new character

#or rather adapting an old character lol #I’ve been spending a lot of time fleshing out original universe tings for Avery #love fallout and halo but I want to do more with him than just viddy games #ken's #autumn art #avery #oc #I almost named mourne jay since it’s closer to jai #but that sounds too much like Jason bourne #and that would be funny but yknow