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#but im totally down for any of these honestly!! more bonds the better i say c:
damnedreams · 2 years
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❔!
send ❔ and i’ll list a couple muses that i’d like to throw at yours! / @ofmiracles
so i was reading over you responses and I believe you selected all the characters I'd go for lmao! I'm not too familiar with the other fandoms. So I am just going to give my own thoughts and we can come together and work our magic! c:
yuuta for megumi & artoria: yuuta is always up to interacting with his fellow classmates! He's all about making friends now that he's gotta better handle on things. so i definitely up for getting them to come together and just forming some awesome bonds. outside of going on a assignments together, they hang out around the school, find hobbies and interest that they both like and just bond over that. of course bonding through assignments where they're fighting for their lives to take down curses. let's see how long megumi keeps his respect for yuuta after becoming buds with him lmao. looking over artoria's page, i could see them bonding over the weight of being a sorcercer. im sure that's a thought that comes up. they got a tough job and they're understaffed. they always gotta be on the go.
hinata and sasuke for nanamin: yesss! i'd love for them to interact with the adults of the jjk world! both hinata and sasuke are so different so i can only imagine how each muse will unfold interacting with nanami. it'll be fun! they can go on assignments and have a few closes calls and they're just have a 'fuck we did it' moments. they can also train together in between assignments, the rare time they have some free time because they always gotta keep getting better.
naruto, hinata, izuku, and bakugou for mitsuri: 
okay so hinata would totally enjoy her company. she'd find her so lovely and sweet. bake sweets for her when she can and leaves them waiting for mitsuri to show her appreciation of her. she'd definitely do what she can to make mitsuri's job easier! 
naruto would totally dig her energy, find her abilities so cool! he'd want to fight against her and then wanna be friends with her because that's what he does. they can eat ramen together because that's how he bonds. though with that said im not sure what i have naruto be in kny. i actually been thinking of making him a demon bc of the kyuubi he carries. so maybe that could add some drama to things. c: 
and lastly izuku and bakugou, they could totally work along side her on a few assignments as they gain more pro-hero experience. deku would be all happy to ask about her quirk and figure it out and fanboy about it. katsuki just be his gremlin self tbh. 
before i forget sasuke, well he kind of falls in with katsuki....instead of gremlin he’s just grumpy and angry in his kny verse so they’d have to work through that. though since she is a hashira he’d love to go against her and test his strength. 
bakugou to zenitsu: there is going to be A LOT of yelling on bakugou’s part lmao. he is going to complain to high hell every time he gets stuck with him. and the day he finally catches him asleep being badass he’s going to be ‘what the fuck?!?!?’ like why couldn’t he be that way in the first place. katsuki isn’t going to let him run away, grabs him by the collar and is like we’re facing this fucking demon so stop with your bullshit and let’s take care of this asshole. 
also since im in the midst of playing fe3.h and thinking of picking up claude as a test muse, i saw you’re interested in claude and byleth. we could try them, i’d be down for them interacting. ^^ 
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vodika-vibes · 4 months
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May I please get a Tech x Jedi!Reader with a glimpse before and after Order 66. Techs POV where after figuring out that the jedi are being hunted becomes worried. Im thinking White Clover and Pansy and maybe angst/fluff? :>
ps i love your work and i cant wait to read anything you make, youre amazing :3
A Promise Made
Summary: You and Tech, before Order 66 and after.
Pairing: TBB Tech x F!Reader
Word Count: 2983
Warning: Angst, Reader survived Order 66 and has totally understandable trauma regarding that
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni
A/N: I'm still not sure if I'm writing Tech well, but I haven't got any complaints.
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“Is there a reason you are laying on me?” Tech asks as he looks down at the Jedi sprawled across his lap, her gaze locked on the datapad in her hand.
“I don’t get to spend nearly enough time with you, and this is the best way to keep you from accidentally ignoring me.” She replies lightly, “Why? Are you uncomfortable?”
“No. I am just concerned that you might get hurt.” Tech answers easily.
“So be careful and you won’t hurt me.” 
He rolls his eyes expressively, though because she’s not looking at him, she doesn’t notice. “What are you working on, cyare?”
“Master Windu asked me to reverse engineer a Seppie weapon, and I’m starting to think that this weapon was designed by an actual child.” She says with a sigh as she drops her datapad and presses her forehead against his thigh.
Tech smiles at the back of her head, “Would you like me to take a look?”
At that she laughs and rolls over so that her head is resting on his lap and she’s looking up at him, “I know you have better things to do, Tech.”
He sets his own project to the side, and gently brushes her hair out of her face, “I do not mind putting it aside to help you.”
She reaches up and presses her hands against his, lightly rubbing her cheek against his gloved hand. “That’s because you���re amazing.” She praises, “But it’s okay, Tech. I can figure it out. I always do.”
Tech smiles at her adoringly.
When he was a cadet on Kamino, he believed that this kind of happiness was beyond him. He did not understand why his brothers, including his batchmates, were so laser focused on finding someone to spend their time with. He thought that it was little more than a distraction.
That was until he met her.
She had been brought to Kamino at the request of General Ti, and the first time Tech saw her, he didn’t think she was a Jedi. He thought she was a natborn who had been tasked with maintenance of the various vehicles stored on Kamino.
She was clever and quick witted, and while his twin claimed that she wasn’t going to win any beauty pageants, on account of the fact that she tended to have oil on her face and staining her hands, and she didn’t seem to care about things like appearance, Tech thought that she was stunning.
They developed a quick friendship, bonding over their mutual love of technology. 
Tech honestly had no idea that she was a Jedi at all, not until he saw her dressed up in Jedi robes rather than her normal grease covered jumpsuit, and talking to General Ti like it was her right.
The conversation that happened after that isn’t one that Tech is proud of. He had been hurt that she hid such an important part of her from him, and he lashed out. She was offended that he thought that she was hiding it, claiming that she never hid anything from anyone, and that it wasn’t her fault that he didn’t know that she was a jedi.
The disagreement turned into a full blown argument, and Tech didn’t talk to her for over two months. It took Hunter and Crosshair teaming up to make him see that he was being bull-headed and stubborn, and it was the encouragement of Wrecker that forced him to go to her and apologize.
At the time, he had been worried that she was going to hold a grudge, but she didn’t. Instead she just smiled and laughed, and told him that she forgave him, and then she showed him what she was working on.
Soon after that, Tech realized that he was thinking about her all the time. When he was in training, when he was reading, even when he was about to go to sleep; her smile, the way her eyes crinkle when she laughs, the way she pushes her hand through her hair when she’s contemplating something complicated-
He found himself looking forward to spending time with her, even if they’re just working in the same room. 
It was Crosshair who pointed out the obvious, with a roll of his eyes as he flipped through a magazine. “You’re obviously in love with her, dumbass.” He drawled without looking up from the glossy pages of the blaster magazine that he got from somewhere, “It’s a perfect match, you’re both annoying little shits.”
Tech wanted to argue with him, partly because he feels the urge to argue with his twin about everything, but he found the words turning to ash on his tongue. Because, annoyingly, he was right.
Tech was in love.
He became awkward and nervous around her, babbling about random things that he learned, and through it all, she watched him with a small smile, and often asked questions about his latest hyperfixation.
And then, late one night, she kissed him.
A gentle press of her lips against his. It was innocent and chaste, and yet it sent fire through his veins. She didn’t say anything after the kiss, she just watched him and waited, seeming to understand that Tech would need a moment to process.
And then he kissed her, and suddenly he understood exactly why his brothers desire this so much.
“Tech?” He snaps back to the present at the worried call of his name, and he glances down at her face, “There you are. You were lightyears away.” She teases.
“I was thinking about you.”
“Oh? Nice things, I hope.”
He laughs, “I always think about you, cyare. You occupy my thoughts at all times.”
“Well, that sounds annoying.”
“Not at all,” Tech lightly guides her until she’s sitting up and he presses a series of light kisses to her cheek and across her jaw, “I find that it is the most enjoyable part of my day.”
“Well, you’re easy to please, aren’t you?” She teases as she leans into his affection.
“My brothers tell me that I am very hard to please, actually.”
“Well, they’re not me.” She turns her head and kisses him quickly, “So you know, you’re constantly in my thoughts too.”
Tech laughs softly and presses a series of light kisses across her face, “I am glad.”
She grins at him, and shifts to sit on his lap, her hands coming up to cup his face, “Tech, I…” She pauses, and her gaze flickers to the side, “I want you to know that I have to return to Coruscant for a couple of weeks. I would like it if you commed me?”
Tech has a feeling that that’s not what she was going to say, but he lets it go, “Of course I will. So much that you will get tired of me.”
She laughs, “I don’t think that’s possible.”
“You never know,” Tech kisses her one more time, “When do you leave?”
“Two days.”
“Well then, we had better spend that time together.”
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It has been three weeks and four days since the day that the Clones turned on the Jedi. And somehow, you’re still alive. Which, in and of itself, is a damned miracle.
You press your hand over your side, a slow hiss of pain escaping your lips as you move the wrong way and the hole in your side twinges painfully.
When the clones marched on the workshop, you had been in the back, working on one of the protocol droids. You managed to escape while the older jedi tried to fend off the soldiers, but you still took a blaster bolt to the side.
Not to mention, you’re still reeling from the loss of your friends, your family. 
You push the pain into the force, and take a moment to tighten the bandages around your side, before you continue your trek. It’s not safe for you anywhere.
And as much as you want to comm Tech and beg him to come and help you…you know that you better not. Tech is a clone after all. And if he pulled a blaster on you, you’d probably just let him kill you, honestly.
No. It’s safer this way.
Though, the galaxy is a much lonelier place now.
Time passes quickly, when you’re on the run. And before you know it, 6 months have passed.
You’re…surviving as best you can, all things considered. You managed to find a medic who treated your blaster wound in exchange for some simple maintenance work, and you managed to earn employment on a cargo ship.
Though, really, you mostly just bounce from ship to ship, from planet to planet, as much as you can. You don’t stay in the same place for longer than a few weeks, fearing that the empire will find you.
You take comfort from the memory of your family, and from Tech. You cling to those memories, as they’re the only thing that keep you going. And sometimes, at night, you allow your mind to linger on Tech, on what could have been.
It’s easier now, though.
After six months, you no longer feel like the Empire is breathing down your neck, and for all you know, you’ve been reported dead. You don’t dare to look, fearing that if you look and you weren’t, then the Empire will start looking for you.
It doesn’t make any sense, you know that, but it’s an anxiety that you can’t seem to shake.
“Hey, Kid!” You jump as the ship captain, your current employer, claps your shoulder with a heavy hand, “Me an’ the boys are going to the bar. Wanna join us?”
“Ah…no thank you. Trying to stay sober,” You say with an easy smile, “You guys have fun.”
“Right, sorry kid. I forgot. You keep up that sobrarity! We’re rooting for you.”
You smile at him, feeling momentarily guilty. Your story, the one that you’ve been using since the purge, is that you’re a recovering alcoholic, and that’s why you want to work on ships, to avoid temptation.
It’s not true. But it keeps people from hounding you to go drinking with them. And, more than one of the people you’ve worked with over the past few months have bemoaned your “parents” for not helping you with your addictions.
It’s almost like having a family again.
Almost.
You step off the cramped ship into the cool evening air, wanting to stretch your legs for a bit, when you hear a familiar voice and feel a familiar presence in the force.
“Hey, that person might know!” You’d recognize Wrecker’s force presence even if you were doped up on force suppressors, and the child standing next to him has the same overall feel as all of the chones.
Your blood runs cold. Wrecker will recognize you. How could he not?
He approaches you, and your mind goes blank. Your fingers twitch towards your lightsaber, hidden in your sleeve. You don’t want to hurt Wrecker. But you will if you have to.
“Excuse me, miss?” The child stops in front of you, and you look down at her. Blonde hair, wide brown eyes…she’s a clone, no doubt about it. “Me and my brother are looking for a specific shop-”
“I…I’m sorry, I’ve never been here before.” You keep your voice low, in the hopes that Wrecker won’t hear you. But you know there’s not a chance of it, not with how close he is to you.
Surprise flashes across his face, followed by joy, “It’s you! Tech has been worried sick! We all have-” He takes a step towards you, and you scramble backwards, grabbing your saber and lighting it with the comforting snap.
“Stop! Just…just stop.” You sputter, “I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I have to.”
Wrecker stops, “Right. Okay.” He pulls Omega back, “No one’s going to hurt you.”
“Sure.”
Wrecker slowly sends a message to his brothers, and then holds his hands out, showing that he’s unarmed. 
Tech, Hunter, and Echo run up only moments later, and Hunter has to grab Tech from running over to you.
“It is just us, cyare.” Tech says, pulling himself away from Hunter, “We are not going to hurt you.”
Your lightsaber is crossed across your body defensively, and slowly you reach out to the force, looking for the, arguably, most dangerous member of the CF99 at the moment. “Where’s Crosshair?” You ask.
“He is…not here.” Tech says quietly.
“You expect me to believe that your own twin isn’t here, I’m not that dumb, Tech.”
“He…” Tech falters, “Listen, his chip activated, ours didn’t. So when we defected, he didn’t.”
“What chips? What are you talking about?” You demand, and their faces fall.
“You…don’t know.” Hunter says quietly, “Stars, you must have thought we turned on you for no reason-”
“It would be nice to know what crime my people committed to deserve to be slaughtered down to the smallest baby, yes.” You bite out.
“It wasn’t…there…” Echo trails off and he takes a deep breath, “Tech, you need to talk to her. Just, tell her the truth. All of it. She’s a jedi, she’ll know if you’re lying.”
Tech nods, and he steps in front of his brothers, his gaze locked on you, “I am going to tell you everything that I know,” He says quietly, and then he starts talking.
And slowly, as he explains, you lower your saber and then turn it off. And by the time Tech finishes his story, you’re sitting on a small crate with your face in your hands. “My people were slaughtered by your brothers because Palpatine stole their free will from them?”
“Yes.”
Both of your hands fist in your hair, “...’m sorry for drawing my saber on you.” 
Tension drains from the men standing across from you, and the next thing you know, Tech’s hands are on your shoulders, “It is okay. You had every right to be concerned.” He kneels in front of you, “Are you injured?”
“I was shot at the temple, but that was months ago.” You say quietly.
“And…you are alright?”
“No.” You whisper, “It’s a very lonely galaxy, Tech.”
Tech raises himself enough to press a kiss to your forehead, “You do not have to be alone. You can travel with us. Right, Hunter?”
“Of course.” Hunter replies immediately.
“See.”
“That’s kind of you, but I know your ship isn’t that big.”
“With the both of us, we can retrofit.” Tech offers, “We can make room for all of us.” He takes your hands in his, “Please do not leave.”
“You won’t be safe if I travel with you. I’m a Jedi.”
“We are not safe anyway.” Tech points out, “Please, cyare? I promise that we will be safer together.”
You sigh, and very gently squeeze his hands, “Yeah, okay. The crew that I’m a part of now won’t be surprised if I decide to leave without warning.”
“Truely?”
“I have something of a reputation.” You reply dryly.
“...it has been 6 months.” You shrug, and allow Tech to tug you to your feet, before he wraps you in a tight hug. “I feared you were dead.”
“I’m sorry.”
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Tech’s gaze lingers on her as she dozes in his bunk, his fingers are tangled in her hair as he silently offers her comfort.
She doesn’t look healthy.
She’s too thin, her clothes hang off of her, and the circles under her eyes are dark enough that it looks like she has bruises around her eyes. She hasn’t been eating properly, obviously, and Tech wonders if it’s because of grief or fear.
And there’s no way he’s ever going to forget the look in her eyes when she saw them again. Dread, fear, terror-
He never wanted her to look at him like that again.
Tech smooths his hand down her spine, and carefully adjusts the blanket so it’s tucked under her chin.
He knew the moment that the regs turned on General Billaba, that his cyare was in danger. The dread had been like a lead weight in his stomach. And while he would have spoken to Crosshair about it, he could tell that there was something wrong with his twin.
Not to mention, Crosshair had never been her biggest fan in the first place.
So he bit his tongue, and kept an eye on the list of deceased Jedi, and he hoped. 
It wasn’t very logical.
But the longer he didn’t see her name, the longer he had hope that she was still alive.
She shifts in his bed, rolling over to press her face against his thigh, and Tech presses his hand against the back of her head. The Marauder really isn’t big enough to add another adult, so she’s going to have to share with him for the time being.
Which isn’t half as much of a problem as he’s making it out to be, nothing would make him happier than waking up with her in his arms, but the last thing he wants is for her to forget where she is and freak out.
Luckily, the dread he felt when he heard about the jedi being hunted has faded into something much easier to handle, now he just has the sinking dread of having to help her deal with the trauma of surviving a massacre.
Easy.
Tech glances down at his datapad, and settles back against his pillow as he starts to read on how to help people process trauma.
If he can’t get his cyare to a mind healer, then he’ll just have to become one himself.
Tech glances at her one more time as her fingers curl in the soft material of his pajama bottoms, and he smiles at her sleeping face. He gently brushes some hair out of her face, “I promise,” He whispers, “I am going to take care of you.”
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a-libra-writes · 3 years
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Hey! Could you do these headcanons [💖,💐] for Jaime, or Tyrion? I've been in the GoT fandom “recently” (like a month or two ago?), and I don't see much of them; especially Tyrion (I don't know book-Tyrion yet 👀). I've been reading your blog for a while, and I really like your writings; I'm taking my time to read them again jsjsj. I understand if you don't want to, or doesn't catch your eye; I hope I'm not being rude or anything, but I wanted to try my luck. Please take care and be safe! <3
welcome to our cluuuub! welcome to our cluuuuuub! 
im glad youre enjoying GoT so much, and my blog! You should def give the books a try if you ever have a chance! Book Tyrion is rlly diff in many cool ways, same with Jaime. 
also i uh ... did the thing where i confused the emojis again, so I did “date” for both of them as well LOL oops
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💘 Tyrion Date HC
Once Tyrion really starts liking you, he takes you to the loveliest places. We’re talking walks through gardens with little ponds and animals, a covered boat ride on a river, or walking through an exciting market full of Essosi traders. The thing is, he’d never call this “courting”. That makes it too official, too serious. He plays it off as simple visits two friends would make.
He’s excellent at finding out the things you’re interested in. You aren’t aware of it, but Tyrion really pays attention to what you respond to and what you like the most. I mean, he’s already watching you because he loves you, but if you aren’t vibing with an activity and location he’ll take that into consideration for next time.
He has lots of fun experiencing new things with you, period - after you’re together, after you’re married. If he finds out about something new, he’ll tell you so you both can do it together.
Tyrion prefers more private locations, since the court is exhausting and nearly all people he meets don’t like him anyway... but there’s something exciting about having such a pretty girl on his arm, someone who clearly adores him and wants to spend time with him.
Gifts! You tell him he doesn’t have to, but he likes presenting you with little things at the beginning or end of a date. First it’s practical things, so he can brush it off as “You seemed like you could use that”, before it’s just outright pretty jewels and dresses and he has no excuse. At that point it’s because he clearly loves you.
When it’s your name day, he has such a great evening planned out. If you’re married, make that a weekend or a week to travel and enjoy a little mini-vacation. Tyrion is excellent at planning an event in secret, so you have no idea what he has in store until the morning of your birthday.
In a modern AU, he’s not too different - he wants to explore new places and new things. He’d probably live in a city and would always find the strangest hole in the wall places to eat and shop at. If you like books, or records, or clothes, he’s gonna find something really out of the way and specific.
💖Tyrion Pregnancy HC
From the time you announced your pregnancy to the entire 9 months, it was like the worst emotional whiplash he’s ever had. There are SO many thoughts going through his head. Some of them are:
One, he’s delighted you want to have a family with him. Yes, you two are married, but it’s not out of duty to the Lannisters. It’s the ultimate proof you love him, he decides - because there’s a real chance your child could turn out like him, and you don’t care. And he knows you’ll love the child if that happens. He just knows you’ll be a wonderful mother. Second, you clearly express your joy to his family and the courtiers. You’re proud and you don’t care who knows. Third, he thinks about how horrid his own upbringing was, and he’s absolutely 100% determined to be an excellent father. Fourth ...
You get the point. He’s so torn between worry - what if the child is born with a problem, what if you die in childbed, what if he turns out to be a terrible father - and absolute, unbelievable devotion. You thought he was protective and doting before? Nothing is too good for you. You have to tell Tyrion to dial it back a bit, you don’t need new clothes every month and ten sets of silken bedsheets and all this jewelry....
He’s a bundle of nerves the closer the due date is. You two might actually get into spats because you’re exhausted and achey, and he’s just a mess. Jaime actually has to knock sense into him and get him to calm down.
But once your child is born...  it all washes away, like a wave carrying him. He’s so happy. He can’t even function. He wants the hold the child all the time, he wants to see them, talk to them - and he asks so many questions to you and the maester. When will the child talk? When will they walk? Can they understand him? Do they know he’s their father? And so on.
Also, his protectiveness would go through the roof. He would never forbid you from going anywhere or doing anything, but.. he would be obviously nervous if you mentioned you were going travelling or something. 
And it goes without saying he’s keeping extra tabs on Cersei, certain courtiers, maybe his own father. He doesn’t trust any of them for anything.
Bronn will probably get assigned to bodyguard duty for you. He’s clearly not pleased, and you just sigh and dismiss him for the day so you don’t have to listen to his smart mouth.
He likes to feel your stomach, especially when the babe kicks! It relieves his worries that the child might be born “wrong” somehow. The fact they’re kicking, wiggling and moving, seemingly in response to him, makes him feel much better.
💐 Tyrion Family & Kids HC
He’s an excellent father, even though he has his moments of emotional hang-ups. He wants to ensure his child is educated, empathetic and uses their damn head. While he’d be doting and affection, he wouldn’t be a total pushover and can reasonably discipline them. Tyrion is great at talking to children respectfully and treating them like people.
On that note, he has no patience for someone like Cersei or his father trying to butt in on his parenting. He’ll stand up to them and firmly insist he can raise his child on his own, thank you. He won’t take any “advice” or threats from them.
He’d be quite good at figuring out what his children are talented in, and encouraging them. He’s seen what it’s like when a child is forced into a single box and hinge all their worth on that (Jaime) and when they’re looked over and ignored (him and Cersei). 
Yes, he basically decides to do the opposite of whatever his father did.
There would be times when he’d want to educate his children himself, but only on certain subjects - reading and writing, for example. He trusts the maester just fine, he just wants to have that bonding opportunity with them. 
(He’s so proud of all of them no matter what though 😭)
If you’d be up for it, Tyrion would like several children. He’s not 100% on how many, since he’s never really given himself a chance to hope and daydream for a family. He knows he needs a son for the Lannister line to continue, but he’d never force you to continue risking your health for that. Ultimately, however many you want, that’s what he’ll be happy with. If it’s all girls, he’ll love them the same.
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💘 Jaime Date HC
It’s actually amusing how bad he is at taking you somewhere interesting. It ends up being an accident - you run into him in a beautiful garden or some obscure part of the Red Keep, and he offers to show you something interesting he found. From there, you two get lost and take a while to find your way back.
... Or you take him somewhere you thought was interesting, and he goes along with it. When you point out that Jaime is pretty bad at this “courting” business, he just scoffs and says that’s definitely not what he’s doing. He’s just visiting with ... a friend ... .... just a friend. Yup.
Another aspect is the fact he’s a Whitecloak, and he might be having to avoid Cersei. That kind of makes things dicey.
However, when he returns from the Dreadfort and that absolute hell of a journey, he’s doesn’t care so much who sees you two. He wants to get away from the Red Keep, even if that’s his duty, so he starts wandering out with you. When Jaime is patrolling on his own and sees a place of interest, he makes a mental note to bring it up to you later. And when he does, and you offer to go with him ... Well, he won’t complain.
Since you two have been so many places, he starts to associate them with you. When he’ll pass by it on his own, he thinks about something you laughed at, or something you told him there. If you ever touched his hand or his face while you two visited a garden, he will remember that touch every single time he passes by. 
After you’ve known each other for a while, and he’s feeling sentimental, he’ll ask, “Do you remember those docks a mile away from the Red Keep? There was a man pushing a cart that had these colorful glasses and wares. You were wearing a blue dress, and when you dirtied it, I carried you around down the street?”
You have no idea where he’s talking about, but that’s the sort of road his memory lane is.
In the modern AU, he’s still pretty terrible at dates. He’s more of the type who wants to wander around with you and just pop into a place that seems interesting - and then he’ll associate you with it. Anytime he sees that cafe chain again, even in a different city, he remembers the hot cocoa you ordered and the little marshmallow mustache you gave yourself.
And honestly, he prefers to stay home with you, cuddling and watching something. He can be as bad as a needy cat when he wants cuddles and attention; you aren’t escaping anytime soon.
💖Jaime Pregnancy HC
Oh no.
Back when Jaime was a boy and lectured endlessly on the duties of a Lannister heir, he didn’t truly understand what that meant. Especially after Cersei coerced him into taking the white cloak, he figured he’d never have children of his own.
... Well. Then there was three. but they never felt like his, which was Cersei’s intention. It was so strange, even if they looked like him, he couldn’t connect Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen to himself.
Also, look who his father is. That’s a lot to unpack.
It’s not until he’s completely left Cersei and lost his sword hand that he starts thinking and seeing things differently. It feels different when you play with the children, when you look longingly at mothers, when he’s intimate with you and you let him finish inside. He starts thinking what it’s like, and that’s scary, considering it never crossed his mind before.
And then he thinks about how his mother died, and what it did to his father. He never openly discusses it with you, but he has nightmares about it. Jaime doesn’t sleep well for a lot of your pregnancy, especially toward the last few months. He does a little better with each child. To distract himself, he takes care of you.
He likes the idea of having two children, a boy and girl, or two boys, but he’s fine with one or more than two. Anything more than four would probably overwhelm him.
Gods save the person who threatens you, even if it’s his sister. His protective instincts go into overdrive, to the point where someone being disrespectful to you on the street will make him want to fight.
💐 Jaime Family & Kids HC
When you tell him, honestly... his first thought is what an awful parent he’d be. He had one example for what a father is like, and he was hardly an influential part in the lives of the three children he sired. You’d have to reassure Jaime and give him confidence, because he has none where this is concerned. He’s positive he’ll screw it up somehow, he’ll be too distant, or too cruel. How do you even hold a baby? What do you say to little ones? He’s going to take care of you, there’s no question of that, but his nervousness is palpable. 
Still, he has such a cute smile when he holds his child - what he considers his first real one - and he right away sees you in them. Their nose, and smile, and eyes. It’s amazing, he decides.
Jaime is a terribly indulgent father. He tries to scold where he can, but more often than not he’s amused by his kid being mischievous. When they pull pranks on guests or get into fights with other kids, he’ll let them off easy if he felt like it was justified. If you’re the more disciplinary parent, the kids totally learn to go to Jaime when they want something.
He’s not overly physically affectionate, but he often ruffles their hair (even if they’re a girl with hair you just braided), gives them rides on his shoulders and lets them sit on his lap and fall asleep. He also has a habit of patting their cheeks or shoulders when he’s pleased.
Jaime didn’t think he’d be excited to teach swordplay and horseback, but he’s so happy when one of his kiddos is interested in both or either. Even if they’re a girl, he can’t help but teach her everything he knows. It also makes him feel better that he has something to teach and pass on even if he lost his sword hand.
Also ... he’s a terrifying papa lion. Do not ever even slightly threaten his children or wife in front of him. His temper and pride will flare and he’ll start a fight right there. 
Related to that, he can fight off Cersei’s cruelty and coldness to you and your children together because he knows how to deal with her. If Tywin disapproved of you in some way, or was trying to take control of how the children were reared, Jaime would genuinely struggle to stand up to him. He doesn’t want his kids to go through the childhood he had, but it’s difficult for him. He won’t go into full “fuck this” mode unless the children are seriously threatened. 
177 notes · View notes
nct-lian · 3 years
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nct 127’s relation to lian
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TAEIL + LIAN: IL-LI
taeil used to wake her up for school when she was still a teenager :((
such a soft but overlooked duo
will appreciate each other forever and ever
lian teaches him roasts in english that he can say to johnny
remain each other’s hype man and woman
taeil was the first to suggest he and the other nct members react to the trailers of her dramas on video so they can boost them in popularity
promotes the HELL out of lian’s solo career over twitter
lian loves coming up behind him and just giving him hugs because he’s soft (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞
they watch movies together a lot! but taeil has to come down to the fifth floor because lian hates it up on the tenth one
he was once able to grab her hand in an airport and they held hands the entire time :(( a few pictures went a little viral
they share hoodies NSHDHSHCJA
lian keeps bugging him to get an instagram
taeil will ALWAYS take her side in silly arguments she and the other members have sometimes
he makes fun of her height because she’s shorter than him-
he also used to help her with her homework :(
cried when lian went on her first date
“my child is growing up (´∩`。)”
had to do a background check on the guy before he even allowed him to come in contact with her again, though
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JOHNNY + LIAN: JOANN
johnny is her dad, period
no questions asked he is her father
will give her piggyback rides all the time
he was once woken up by her jumping on his bed and asking if they could go shopping
at 6:00 am
he actually got up, got ready and took her shopping but since it was so early, the stores were all closed
he took her out for japanese fluffy pancakes, though!
whenever lian is sick, johnny makes her his mom’s homemade chicken noodle soup recipe :((
speaking of johnny’s mom, she loves lian to death and always asks johnny if he’s taking good care of her
if they’re not being asked any questions or having to translate anything during interviews, they always whisper jokes in each other’s ears to try and make the other one laugh
because of how lian dies during the trailer of her new drama, johnny cried in front of twenty-two other men while they reacted to it
he was NOT embarrassed
“how are you guys not crying? this is so sad. what a cruel world we live in ໒( ˵ •̀ □ •́ ˵ )७”
kept screaming at lian’s “dream of you” performance video
“WHY ARE YOU ON THE GROUND DANCING LIKE THAT?!” “JISUNG COVER YOUR EYES-“
he once effortlessly picked up lian and moved her somewhere else because she wasn’t standing where she was supposed to be
everyone says that their ship name is something a white, suburban mom would be named. now nctzens pronounce joann like “joanne” ・x・
it was said on the zach sang show that johnny used to measure her height every month to see if she grows or not, and that’s the only reason why he has her height memorized
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TAEYONG + LIAN: LIYONG
has lost lian in so many airports it’s not even funny
“hyung, what happened to lian?” “oh, you have GOT to be kidding me-“
whenever he doesn’t see her he goes into panic mode and starts asking if anyone has seen his little sister
“about this tall with really shiny hair? her cheekbones are insane, i swear. OH OH OH SHE WAS WEARING JOHNNY’S HOODIE- you don’t know what johnny’s hoodie looks like.. okay, well thank you for your help.”
one of the first members that she was comfortable with
lian said that he was her role model :’(
as the leader, he’s always taking care of her and will not sleep until he knows for sure she’s eaten
because of how lian never participated in any of nct’s first bit of promotions due to being too uncomfortable around them, she was allowed to skip out on the viewings of their relay video letters
but she was still required to make one for somebody and that somebody was taeyong ˵ ຈ ︿ ຈ ˵
she said that she was glad he was her leader and that she hoped to become closer one day
he cried
declares that he will take care of lian till the day he dies
taeyong had yelled at lian’s former manager until he voluntarily quit working for her- he had found out that lian was being overworked to the point where she collapsed during their dance practice and he wasn’t okay with it
always cheering her on backstage when she performs solo
he always tries to include her in guiding the members for their dances because he knows how happy it makes her
instead of having her carry her glasses around with her, he does it instead :D
“nana, do you have to wear your glasses now?”
taeyong tucks her into bed every night he can ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ
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YUTA + LIAN: YUN
totally doesn’t have feeling for her, yeah
yuta is obsessed and when i tell you he’s obsessed, he’s obsessed
did i mention obsessed?
he’s jealous of everyone :(
yun stans insist that the only reason yuta is so touchy with winwin and mark is because he’s trying to cover up his feelings for lian
bye if that’s true-
hyuck wanted to give her a hug (a rare occurrence) and yuta straight up just said,
“mine. go away”
i have proof guys :// johnny recorded it and literally posted it on instagram
lian died internally when yuta cut his long hair because she couldn’t put it into ponytails anymore :((
but his hair is growing back now so she’s able to do it again :)
yuta teaches her japanese every tuesday and thursday!
we don’t bring this up because it’s pretty embarrassing but,, when nct 127 were backstage before performing kick it, yuta asked doyoung (who was in a direction where he could get a clear view of lian’s face) if lian was staring at him
how do we know this, you may ask?
it was caught on camera and everyone made fun of him for a solid week straight
he’s caught staring at her from afar way too often for comfort
lian says that he’s very pretty
much like the other memebers that have instagram, he makes story countdowns that he posts about a week before lian plans to release her solo music
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DOYOUNG + LIAN: LIDO
another member of the lian protection squad
doyoung was the first to start calling her cupcake
it all started when doyoung was sick and lian made him cupcakes to make him feel better
will slap anyone who makes a flirty remark towards lian
was embarrassed for yuta when he asked if she was staring at him
said “no” and walked away
lian is the only one who ever shows him any mercy :’)
they have very similar taste in decor so they often go shopping together for things to put around the dorm
doyoung said that he spends the most time in lian’s room because it smells like vanilla all the time
he spoils her SO MUCH
like so much
half the plushies she owns at the moment were gifts from doyoung
has a tendency to watch over her and make sure she’s content at all times
“cupcake, are you hungry? i can make you some food if you’d like” “oppa, it’s 3:00am-“ “and?”
they take such pretty instagram pictures :((
at one point in time, doyoung was jealous of his older brother because lian used to crush on him a tiny bit :0
not because doyoung likes her or anything, she just couldn’t stop talking about how nice he looked in revolutionary love
disapproves of the staff giving lian such short clothing sometimes
“um, excuse me, she can’t wear that. are you crazy? go get her a new outfit, please”
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JAEHYUN + LIAN: JAELI
not many people bring this up because we know it’s honestly a sensitive topic :|
but he lowkey has deep feelings for her (he makes it so obvious sometimes it’s kinda disappointing to see how oblivious lian really is to it)
jaeli + yun love triangle anyways
jokes aside, though, jaehyun loves lian so so much
once cried to johnny about how he doesn’t know what to do and that he didn’t want to make anything awkward by confessing to her
makes sure to be near her as often as possible
once scared away a whole kim taehyung from talking to her during isac ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯ (let’s pretend bts were there for 2019 pls)
“jungkook, keep your friend away, please :D”
didn’t work, though, because they ended up having a conversation later in the day either way
*in the 97’ liner groupchat* “HYUNG IM SORRY HE RAN AWAY I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DOl
it was uncalled for but what can you do amirite ┐(´~`)┌
lian pokes his dimples a lot and squishes his cheeks
just randomly hugs him but he’s not complaining
johnny isn’t picking sides but he became team jaeli after jaehyun broke into tears in front of him for the first time since they were trainees about how much he loves lian
sad,, i know
lian judges jaehyun for not sleeping with sheets
continues to believe he is not a human being, but a robot created in a lab
jaehyun smiles at her for no reason
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JUNGWOO + LIAN: LIWOO
an instant bond formed between them when they first met!
jungwoo learned a lot about her and has developed so many ways to deal with her anxiety :(
gave the staff a guide on how to keep her calm when he went on hiatus because he couldn’t be there with her
buys her colouring books because he knows that they calm her down well!
liwoo went viral and become a popular ship when lian accidentally changed the nct 127 instagram profile picture to a jungwoo icon
she got scolded but it was iconic orange haired jungwoo with a chain-
an untouchable duo when they do double aegyo
nctzens think jungwoo is her favourite member
maybe because lian said he was
“ “who’s your favourite member?” hmm i’ll have to say woo-oppa!”
*cue jungwoo laughing at yuta’s face because he was that shocked*
they share secrets with each other so now they probably know the other like the palm of their hand
even though he’s off his hiatus, he still has to guide the staff members through lian’s little moments because sm staff suck at their job sometimes
they’re the two members who go grocery shopping together
more like jungwoo dragging lian to the grocery store with him but okay
jungwoo loves kissing her cheeks (〃▽〃)
their vocals mixed together are confirmed to be noises from heaven
lian misses his blonde bowl cut :/
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MARK + LIAN: LIMARK
leader of lian’s natural length hair committee
like when i tell you mark hates her extensions-
mark was the first friend lian was able to make in nct!
they bonded over canada and it was very rare to see them speaking in korean
mark goes into straight panic when he’s with her sometimes
has to remind himself they’re like siblings
lian ans mark covered “your eyes” by hoody and jay park during a vlive!
it was adorable :((
lian had him saved in her phone as “android user” but now she doesn’t know what to change it to
they had a fight in 2019
mark let’s her call him the weirdest freaking nicknames ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ノ
mars bar, markie, mork, marko
AND IN RETURN HE CALLS HER MARIJUANA-
he says it’s because czennies consider her to be addicting and since marijuana is addicting as well he thought it’d be a good fit
someone on twitter absolutely ENDED HIM though and wouldn’t stop making fun of him (;⌣̀_⌣́)
they can read each other’s mind just by looking at each other
“dude i hate this shit why does she keep asking us who we wanna collab with?” *cue lian laughing hysterically*
“what’s so funny (゜-゜)” — interviewer
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HAECHAN + LIAN: LIHYUCK
haechan makes fun of her kissing scenes in dramas
calls her short all the time
“lian give me a high five- oh haha nevermind it’s too bad you’re so short”
they’ve actually been so close to fighting each other and i’m not even joking
they’re the two members who fight the most out of all of them
but despite this, they love each other very much
hyuck says he’s the only one who’s allowed to make her mad
and if anyone else makes her mad he’d kill them
limark 2019 fight flashbacks where haechan kept threatening mark
there are actually moments when they’re clingy with each other-
haechan loves her hugs :((
like ??????? one minute they’re at each other’s throats and the next, they’re all lovey dovey hugging each other make it make sense ?????
lian could be speaking english and he’d say, “korean, please. i can’t understand canadian”
“shut up <3”
hello haechan cried and wouldn’t let go of her during her and mark’s graduation ceremony in 2018
she makes fun of him for it but never takes it too far
he goes to her for dance advice
during their nct 2018 weekly idol appearance when they were doing the random kpop dance thing, they beat everyone أ‿أ
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Text
BRI’S BIG LIST OF 3ZUN FIC RECS
a few people on twitter expressed some interest in my 3zun rec list so here are some of my faves! this isn’t separated by ship but by the kind of fic. there are some i didn’t rec because i can’t rec them in good conscience even though i like them. YEAH
THEY WIN I PROMISE (or: happy ending fics)
there is just one thing i need by MonocerosRex. modern au, rated G, 11k! primarily nieyao, but it’s 3zun. nieyao go on a cross-country road trip to pick up lan xichen from the airport. it is SO FUN, i laughed SO MUCH. the nieyao dynamic is DELIGHTFUL
just one kiss (for our fake date) by thefaceofno. 4k, rated T, modern au! xiyao. jgy brings his friend lan xichen as his fake boyfriend for a family gala. somewhere along the line, he forgets to mention the word “fake” to xichen. the misunderstandings are really fun and cute! 
you seem, secretly, to love everything by jelendra. 11k, modern au, M, 3zun but the focus is on a nieyao get together. it’s part of a big series but tbh i havent read the rest of the series. but THIS ONE is that lan xichen is dating jgy and nmj separately and wants them to date each other! meng yao feels really weird about this. 
Synced by theherocomplex. T, 23k, nielan, space au! nmj and lxc become partners to explore a little satellite planet. featuring fun mental bonds and AMAZING wordbuilding. the atmosphere is so quiet here. i love the vibes
soaring, carried aloft on the wind by skadiseven. E, 68k, nielan, au! lan xichen is forced into an arranged marriage with “”””warlord”””” nie mingjue and finds out that there is more than he had initially assumed about the people who are invading his kingdom. AMAZING prose, the worldbuilding is so fun, the fic itself is so soft and sweet. if you want to be sold on nielan this fic sure will sell you! 
holding off the rust by me! :3c 3zun, 3k, T, modern au. jgy THINKS he’s cheating on nmj and lxc with each other. he is wrong. it’s a good time! 
Becoming Prom King in Ten Easy Steps: A Guide by Jin Guangyao by me. 3zun, 40k, modern au, T. jgy wants to become prom king and schemes his way to the top. along the way he gets some boyfriends. this is a teen comedy movie in fic form. 
Nevermore to Leave also by me! nieyao, 17k, canonverse, rated T. meng yao’s first 100 days as the vice general of the nie sect. he learns how to be safe and the nie bros eagerly adopt him. lots of family content! 
FOR A GOOD OL’ CRY (bittersweet fics!!!)
to exist, in reaction by autoclaves. 6k, modern au, T, nielan with past xiyao. lan xichen learns to handle his grief of losing the husband he thought he knew thanks to the help of a plant shop, two cats, and the cute man who keeps coming into his shop. this made me tear up ;u;
tell me what I already know by daughterson. M, 9k, modern au, nielan with past xiyao. the entire series is AMAZING but this is the flagship fic and its honestly one of my favorites. lan xichen cheats on his husband nmj with one of the students at his university. he learns to deal with the fallout. it is heartbreaking and amazing and AAAGH JUST. AAGH!!!! LAN XICHEN AH LAN XICHEN!!!
to hoard promises that could sniff out the lie by Mayarene Rose. 3zun, 50k, T, pacrim au. please. my god. if you’re gonna read any fic on the list, read this one. i don’t know shit about pacific rim and i loved this. it cycles between their povs and it is AMAZING. it GETS the 3zun dynamic so well. im choked up thinking about it. the epitome of “they’re in love and it wasn’t enough.” 
favor by venndaai. T, 30k, focus is xiyao but 3zun is important too, hunger games au. WIP!!! this makes me SO emotional. meng yao volunteers in nie huaisang’s place and meets lan xichen in the games. im miserable over this. the prose is gorgeous and i don’t know where it’s going but i am delighted to see where! 
MY LOVE IS THE KILLING KIND (BAD END FICS)
the ruins left inside of you by aroceu. M, 26k, canon divergent au. 3zun, focus on nieyao. technically a jennifers body au. this is one of my favorite 3zun fics of ALLLLLL time. its a GREAT character study of nmj and how a demon whose power you absorbed for your own and an evil spirit that you let corrupt your soul arent all that different in the end, huh!!! the ending is so tasty. my god. i love this one.
Cry a river, call it rain by rheawrites. 2.6k, E, modern au. jgy kidnaps xichen. that’s it. that’s the fic. i love it
qinghe triptych by bloodletter. E, 3 part series, canonverse mostly nieyao but part three is sangyao and mosang. 40k total. a three-part examination on the qinghe trio and a three-part breaking of my heart. each fic is gutting and beautifully written and UGHHHHHH I DONT HAVE THE WORDS I JUST WANNA WAILLLLLL
there is the way the air feels by nenyanaryavilya. 9k, xiyao, modern au. E jgy visits lan xichen in his big lonely manhattan apartment. some FUCKED UP xiyao vibes that i love a lot, thanks. 
The Mountain Stood So Large by esperra. 16k, M, canonverse. very 3zun.  two weeks before nmj’s death, lxc and jgy take him on a night hunt. what follows is some light horror, a lot of hallucinations, and a character study on what it feels like to be unable to trust your own mind. 
Obligation by ilgaksu. 53k, rated M, 3zun at different points. canonverse. WIP. ON HIATUS a CUTTING jgy pov fic. non-linear timeline, but cuts across different points of canon. jgy is just a fucked up little man and it’s delightful to read. the prose is UTTERLY beautiful.
GETTIN DOWN WITH 3P (you can extrapolate what that means for urself)
Past Tense, Present Perfect by nonplussed. canonverse, around sunshot...? kind of a fix it fic. 6k, E. 3zun. 3zun get down to some fun roleplay and learn how to communicate with each other along the way! there’s a lot of fun identity stuff with this one. i am a sucker for dom jgy
softly by isozyme. E, 3.5k, canonverse. nieyao. jgy breaks nmj’s d*** for fun and profit. they’re so in love. that doesn’t make anything better. the vibes are terrible and i love it so much
études (in a minor key) by bigspoonnoya. E, 9k, modern au, xiyao with past (?) nieyao. jgy shows up on a repressed lan xichen’s doorstep one night saying that nmj broke up with him. lxc tries to comfort him and then he Comforts him ;) jgy is an absolute piece of shit here. i love it. the ending is GUT WRENCHING. part 3 of the series is also good!
half cloak & half dagger by fahye. 13k, E, canonverse. jgy and lxc are happily married but sometimes a gremlin has to scheme his way into a good bang, yknow???? its SO funny and the jgy pov is SO good
the notes on an old mistake by esperra. 26k, series. mostly nieyao but it turns into xiyao and 3zun. nmj and jgy are exes who end up sleeping together again... and again... and again..... if you love bad decisions you’ll love this series. jgy gets together with lan xichen and then ropes nmj into a terribly negotiated polycule.
ok thats all of them that i am brave enough to rec haha
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tomdiddlyumptious · 4 years
Note
Can u do a Tom Holland x black model / actress reader where there in ffh together maybe she Palau’s Gwen Stacy and they were fwb while the press tour was happening then they get into a heated argument... then they see each to her at the premiere and they end up sleeping together later that night in maybe a Limo and getting caught by maybe zendaya or Jacob 💀💀💀  
I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY- IM PRETTY TIRED, I DRUNK MILLIONS OF COFFEE TO DO A ESSAY I DIDNT EVEN FINISH ALL NIGHT LMAO, THATS FOR DISTRACTING ME, I NEEDED IT!
Warnings: long smut, arugeing, getting caught, basically it! Idk what else, probably terrible smut btw
T.H| premier or how ever you spell it
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“This is so boring” “why? Because you aren’t meeting Batista?” “Oh I’m meeting Batista Thomas” he only laughed at you, it was the press tour today, everyone fancy and shit.
You and Tom have been friends for a long time, friends with benefits for a short one, you’ve only fucked a few times..... totally, just in the two hotels, the dressing room, on the couch, on the back of the couch, on the front door, the wall- anyways. But you’ve both always had a bond.
You both were making it to your hotel, in his car, he had his hand on your thigh, taking it higher and higher until he cupped you, you turned to him while he bit his lip still looking at the road, you pushed his hand down as he looked at you confused.
“Wow you look” “amazing” Tom finished your assistants words, triko (tree co) looking back him and nodding in agreement, your hair in a natural kinky Afro and a poofy dress, two layers, and off the shoulders, the color was yellow and it radiated off your skin, matching your dark colored acrylics (basically Rihanna’s dress but yellow, let’s act like it was invented yet) “Thanks” you say, smiling at yourself. “Well I have to go take care of something, uh your hair shouldn’t dry out so you should be fine” triko said, walking out.
“I-uh hi” he stuttered, coming up behind you as you turned to him. “What Thomas” you ask. “I was thinking about you-“ “so you just wanna fuck huh?” You cross your arms over your chest raising your eyebrows at him.
“I don’t just want to fuck, I want to talk to you, while we fuck” he smiles, thinking he is funny. “I’m not doing this anymore” you push past him, sitting on your vanity chair. “What are you talking about?” He asked, turning to you. “I’m not sleeping with you” you look at yourself in the mirror, fixing your makeup. “What did I do?!” He almost yelled.
“You only want to sleep with me! We don’t even talk any fucking more Thomas! You cup my vagina out of the blue, you come to my house almost every night with a bottle of wine, it’s like I’m a fucking booty call” you slammed your brush down, looking at him through the mirror.
“Hey you aren’t a booty call! What the fuck is up with you!” He yelled, his lips in a thin line. “Tell me the last time we actually had a sit down conversation Thomas” you said, he stops in his tracks, trying not to look away. “In the car-“ “in the car?! You mean the one you cupped me in! In the same day! Like I’m some sex toy and-“ “you know what fuck you, you can’t make random decisions like you didn’t like it!” You stood up, bit your lip sure it would bleed, walking up to him. “You right, i did like it, until what it did to you” you take your pointer finger, pressing it on his forehead and pushed it back. “And to me” you put your finger to your chest “and to us” you pointed and both of you. “Find some hooker on the street Thomas, or even better! Zen fucking daya, I’m not fucking wit chu, and you better leave my room or i swear-“ “swear what?” He asked, crossing his arms and looking at you. “Or I swear I will call you out for the user you are, think about it with me ‘Thomas the slut’ ‘can’t keep his hands off of y/n’ ‘using her for a fuck?’ ‘Isn’t using his brain’, I’ll ruin you and anything you’ve worked for, try me. And it doesn’t only have to be about me, I’ll just dig up more dirt” “now that’s childish y/n” “not when my feelings are hurt! Your fucking clueless man, I- fuck you!” You stormed out of the room, leaving Thomas there stranded trying to understand what even happened at that moment. “Fuck” he whispered, looking around and noticing he basically couldn’t slam anything because it is all yours.
“Hey y/n!” Jacob smiled, you smiled back at him “hey Jacob” “how are you” “eh things could be better” you shrugged. “Wanna talk about it?” He asked, really worried. Both of you making your way to the limo “not really if I’m being honest, I know I don’t wanna be alone though so do you want to take pictures with me?” You questioned looking at him, he only nodded.
Each of your arms wrapped around each other’s, smiling at the camera. Giggling as Jacob told you stupid jokes.
On the other hand thomas was taking pictures with zendaya, his hand around her waist and hers around his shoulders. “Hey can we do questions?” An interviewer asked, Tom nodding and coming forward.
Thomas answered a few questions and shared a few laughs until the question came up “so Gwen Stacy, you said you’ve always wanted a black cat but you have a Gwen Stacy, how does it feel?” “I feel like peter is a very lucky man” he laughed “but I am to, I’m lucky enough to work with y/n how by the way is sooo” he opened is hands as if somethings is in between spacing them “talented, I’m glad we have her and Gwen Stacy here, I mean at least we don’t have anyone bad right?” He laughed again, the interviewer laughing with him.
“I’ve always had the most biggest crush on Spider-Man, it’s honestly my brothers fault because he forced me to watch it” you laughed “what’s your favorite suit of his?” “Probably venom, he looked really cool but his attitude wasn’t it” you giggled. “Did i mention how beautiful you are, I just felt like I had to say it or else I’d regret it later” “ooo are you hitting on me?” You grinned, placing your hand on your collar bone. He nervously laughed “I mean, I guess so” “oo imma get you fired” you teased making him laugh, did I mention Tom was basically right next to you both?
His jaw clenched many times, trying not to glance over, his mind roaming into violent things, until he had it, he’d just talk to you or something, oh well.
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“I forgot my bracelet, I’ll be right back” you waved at tony as he only nodded “I’ll be right here waiting for you” he smiled. You walked off the the same limo, staying there for whatever reason you asked the driver to unlock the car, instead he just gave you to whole keys. You went to the limo, unlocking it and getting in. You digged in the side of the seat, trying to find it until you heard the door open and close again, you screamed and tried to stand for some odd reason but hit your head, you groaned and sat down rubbing over the spot.
You looked over to find Thomas, you both made eye contact and you groaned again turning away from him “okay okay look! We are going to talk, to fucking talk!” He said, you look at him and rolled your eyes, trying to open the door until it was locked, you looked at Thomas and he dangled the keys smiling at you. Then you groaned, once again. “You aren’t going anywhere until we talk about this” he said. “I’m not talking about shit” “well you aren’t leaving” “I got hot spot” you pulled out your phone, only to get it snatched, you had your Apple Watch on, “don’t even” “oh I’m going to” “I don’t wanna break it” “fine then, let’s talk” you gave up, sitting up straight, taking off the watch and throwing it at his head.
“Okay- whatever, anyways talk” “you wanted to talk! Not me!” “Alright then! Can you tell me what hurt your feelings?” “I be-“ “spit it out, stop being hard headed for fucks sake” you sighed, crossing your arms. “What hurt my feelings is that you- i- we don’t talk anymore all we do is just sleep around, I miss you Thomas, not your dïck, I miss you, I miss the talks over tea and the you coming to my modeling. If you want to have sex I get it but why almost every other week? I feel like you collect all of your shit and use sex to get out of it, I don’t want to be the one you do that to” “shit y/n, I don’t want you to feel that way, I don’t do that nor feel that way- now that I’m noticing it I am doing something wrong to make you feel that way” he frowned, coming closer to you and sitting next to you, taking your hand. “I can make you feel better I promise, I’ll do anything you want me to do” he kissed your hand, you looking at him and your hand. He trails up to your neck, not going to your sweet spot but everywhere else then it, you let out small hisses and shuddered. “I-“ you cut yourself off by a moan, his hands finding its way to your thigh “I won’t cup you if you don’t like it, I’ll do things for you, I really don’t want you to feel that way” he whispered, rubbing your thighs and breathing on your neck and your jaw, still moaning from the hand on your thigh. “You can be my pillow princess, you won’t have to do anything because I will, I’ll make you happy” “promise?” “Yeah i do, let me pleasure you, please” he then looked at you, lips so close you could almost feel them on yours, eye contact, so deep making it feel like your exchanging souls, the lust and love in both of your eyes, just now exposing you have feelings for each other.
His hand on you thigh raising to your underwear, pulling them down as he gave a kiss to you. “Can we take this off?” He asked, his other hand coming up to your chest, rubbing over each of your breasts and you whimper and nod.
He smiles, knowing your dying by his touch, all he had to do really his make sure he is your bitch at first, but this time he really wanted to have sex, not a fwb sex, there is a difference.
Your back lifts as he finished to take down your lacy white underwear, soaked. “Do I make you like this?” He asked, holding them up wanting you to look at them and you only nodded at him. “Look at it princess, look at the things I do to you, how wet you get when I touch you, you were probably wet the minute I even came close to you, yeah darling?” He bit his lip, taking your underwear and stuffing it in his back pocket. “Open up” he tasks and you follow, opening up your legs revealing your sweet angel smell. “I can smell you, it’s fucking perfect” he murmured, wrapping his hand around your back and unzipping the dress, pulling it down until your breasts were on display. “I wish I could take the whole thing off, but I don’t want us to get caught” he smiled, wetting his thumb with his tongue and rubbing over your nipple, he maintains eye contact with you, feeling your chest deeper as you breath in and out.
You could feel your clit wanting stimulation, slowly reaching your hand down you softly rub over pearl, letting out whimpers as Tom watched. “Touching yourself darling?” He lifted the dress, revealing you touching yourself, his hand came off your nipple and just watched you pleasure yourself, “mm” you bit your lip, your eyes getting slightly clouded. “Faster, for me” he said, now getting on his knees, standing infront of your womanhood, you start to speed up, Tom pushing your legs open more. “Buck your hips down” he ordered, you followed, a moan escaping your lips as Tom spit on you. “Good girl” he purred, kissing your calf’s, you bit your lip to contain the moans, “stop what you doing” he said, making you stop your tracks, he took your hand and suck the wetness off, smiling up at you and coming in between your legs, kissing your clit. “I want you to watch me princess, lift up that dress” you lifted up the poofs, meeting his eyes and he smiled “ready?” “Ready” you nodded. He took a strip of you, your folds open from your legs, your back arched, holding in to your knees, he kitty licked your pearl, you whining as you held tighter hearing the sounds as everything else was silent, he then harshly sucked you, “ah! Fuck tommy” you bit your lip humming, trying to open them more. His tongue trailed down to your slit and entered, fucking you with it, the texture of his tongue rubbing against your walls, feeling so good, he brings up his fingers, taking his tongue out and replacing it with his fingers, so wet and warm, easy to slip in. “Mmm” he pressed on your clit with his tongue, harsh circles and quick sucks, shaking his head side to side your breathing became heavier, him fucking you faster and your hand going down, running your fingers through his hair, tugging as he moaned in you, “mm!” You moaned louder, his name spilling out your mouth as you released. He lapped up some of your come, wanting to leave the rest.
He left your heat, on his knees still he unbuckled his pants “did you know you taste so good?” He asked, pulling himself out, thick and a bit over circumcised, precum on his head, “please fuck me” you whined, one organism not enough. “I hear ya” his knees in between your legs, he pumped himself before placing it in you, not wasting time. “Fuck” he whispered, bottoming himself in you and pulling out, just to go inside again. His hand came behind the head of the seat, fucking himself deeper and snapping his hips “Tom!” “Yes baby?” “Mmm” “that’s what i like to hear” he smiled, mostly to himself, looking at your dazed state, your eyes filled with so many things. After getting comfy he started to speed up, your body rocking with his, you grab his arms, digging in his skin as he hissed and fucked you harder making you let out a harsh moan. “Like that?” He asked, getting close to your spot. “Fuck tommy yes, I love it- ah!” He hit your spot, noticing the differences you made he continued fucking that spot, taking both hands and putting them behind the head of the seat he slammed into you, harder, faster, fuck it’s everything you want, everything you need, the skin slapping on skin, him hitting your spot and looking at you like a goddess, he moaned as you clenched so close, so so close.
Until the door opened “what the fuck-“ zendaya said, you quickly covered your breasts, looking over and seeing her eyes wide, Jacob behind her just starring at both of you, Tom kinda pissed because he was just there. “So uhm, I’m kinda hungry but I guess I’ll just take like a Uber or something” Jacob cleared his throat, couldn’t see this any longer. “Can’t we just drive the limo and leave them back here?” Zendaya distantly asked, closing the door. “I thought you locked it!” You whipped your head at Thomas. “The keys are in my front pocket! I’m guessing you accidentally pressed the button with your thigh!” He whispered. “Me!?” “Yes you” “Thomas get up” “can you just ride me because I really want to cum right now” you sighed as you nodded, him flipping both of you over. You rode him until both of you came, pressing kisses on your neck the car started moving. “What is happening?” “WERE GOING TO BURGER KING BITCHES!” Zendaya let out ‘whoos’ and Jacob laughed. “How long were we out here?” “For a while” Tom nodded, a bump causing both of you to moan, you get off of him and grab baby wipes to clean both of you up, don’t worry there’s a window separator, they can’t see you.
“You don’t get your panties back, there mine now” he smiled at you while you tried to fix your hair and your makeup. “Here’s some fabreeze! Might want to open the window while your at it” Jacob opened the window, throwing fabreeze in the back and Tom opened the window, letting the sex air out as both of you were dazed kinda, breath still heavy.
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shattered-catalyst · 3 years
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OCD Subtypes for the RPC
Part 1 is here
Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.
Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person.  Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.
Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.
 There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.
Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.
OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.
If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.
But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.
So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.
Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.
Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.
I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.
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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.
Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame.  The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.
  We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].
It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.
 Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.
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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.
Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.
 For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.
Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.
Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.
 Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.
Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 
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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD.  Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.
The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.
Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?
Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.
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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma. 
If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point. 
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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;
Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered
Trigger: seeing a squirrel
 Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day
Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault
Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,
Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening, 
Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.
Cute right?
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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...
Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.
 It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes. 
My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!
Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs. 
You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’
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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those.  Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear  a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).
I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.
Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)
Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.
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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..
Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.
Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.
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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’ 
This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.
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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.
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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.
Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest. 
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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.
This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.
To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.
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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible. 
This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’
 It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.
(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)
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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.
Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.
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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.
 However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.
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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.
 Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness.  There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.
 This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.  
For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence. 
This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.
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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.
 Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities.  There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.
Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?
A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.
The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype. 
Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)
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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.
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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD.  With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows. 
We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day.  That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things. 
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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.
Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.
This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.
It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’
So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.
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yyparkq · 4 years
Text
hooked
characters: park sungjin x reader
word count: ~3.2k
summary: park sungjin is almost a perfect boyfriend for you...until he abruptly starts being emotionally withdrawn from you a few months into your relationship.
genre: fluff, smut
tw: mentions of anxiety, unprotected sex, slightly toxic relationship
requested by @parksungjinsfan
a/n: had tons of fun writing this really warm and cozy sungjin, thank you for the request!! tbh, i always see him as someone i’d be comfortable to share everything that’s on my mind. and i feel like he’s one of the very few people who will never judge you for your stupid mistakes but is also someone who needs to be taken care of. im blabbering too much. enjoy the story! :)
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There was nothing special on the day you first met Park Sungjin. Like any other normal college student, you were able to find yourself a small circle you can trust and have fun with. Because of them, you have encountered the seemingly quiet and mysterious guy from the engineering class. He was best friends with the guy your close friend, Erin, was dating.
If first impressions last, like how they say it does, you’re fairly sure you would barely get more acquainted with a Park Sungjin. Unlike you, Sungjin is more reserved with a constant hang of serious air around him, like the type of person who barely laughs when someone makes a joke in front of him. He doesn’t always hang out with a lot of people but when he does, he’s always got an earphone dangling in one of his ears as if saying he’s only halfway present. He dresses neatly albeit casually—oftentimes in a plaid or button-down shirt and faded jeans with his dark, wavy hair falling shortly before his dark brown eyes.
He’s a pretty decent guy but not really the type you see yourself to be dating. But when you accidentally met him at the movie house alone and decided to grab dinner after, you two hit it off so smoothly. Turns out you both share the love for the book that was recently adapted onto the big screen. You two talked over dinner nonstop about the movie, how it varies against the book, the great and bad parts that were changed, the cast that played the role, the cinematography, the lines. Your exchange that night was nothing but informative and honestly, you craved more to be with him after that night so you asked him to hang out with you again. Sungjin already had a perfect proposal to invite you the second time if you didn’t ask. His mind worked extra hard trying to keep up with the conversation with you while thinking about how to ask you out for the second time at the back of his mind.
It was a ticket to an international classical play that he had up his sleeves which you gladly accepted.
One impromptu date was followed by a few more. After classes, you will meet over snacks or spend time in the library, reading and studying together. On weekends, you will try to watch movies you find interesting or go to museums.
You dating each other has not been a complete secret from your friends and you’re glad at how supportive they are to your new relationship.  Somehow, you learned that Sungjin is actually an easy-going person, he talks and laughs a lot when he’s comfortable with the people he’s with. He’s knowledgable and he knows how to listen and strike up a healthy argument when needed even though sometimes he could be a little awkward and even seem standoffish.
Your friends think that your relationship is pure and innocent—almost platonic as one could say—but they couldn’t be any more wrong. Yes, you and Sungjin maintain a totally discreet relationship when you’re in public and with friends. It’s not like you have to tell anyone but you laugh inside when some of your friends ask about the status of your sex life. You never responded to such questions positively, not too comfortable in sharing such intimate details about your life with anyone, and somehow it painted an idea in their heads that you and Sungjin have never had sex yet.
The thing is, you two are fairly active in that regard. There is an unbelievably strong bond between you and Sungjin after the first date that is almost impossible for either of you to resist.
It was after the third date when you first give in to your desire. After spending time looking at ancient monarch artifacts and roaming around the museum, you were met with heavy rains the moment you stepped out of the museum building. Being in the middle of the summer, neither of you had attempted to check the weather that day for any sign of impending downpour that day. Your thin, white button-down shirt styled as a dress stuck to your skin as you both ran for his car across the parking lot, rendering your clothes almost transparent the moment you climbed into the passenger seat. The sight of you being wet and in close proximity with Sungjin didn’t help him control himself either.
“Would you like to come over to my place?” he asked coolly after giving you his spare jacket from the backseat to cover yourself. Even with his imaginations going wild, he’s still a gentleman in your eyes.
“Sure,” you nodded, well aware of what’s about to come next. It could be seen as taking things too fast but frankly, you didn’t care. You wanted this and it seemed like he did too.
You blushed when he flashed you that warm smile that reached his eyes before starting the car and driving away.
Sungjin refused to let you go home that night until you practically cannot walk. He fucked you senseless until you’re almost out of your wits, one orgasm after another until you’re quivering uncontrollably.
It has been five months since you started dating. Everything’s going pretty well in your relationship except that you are in no exception for fights and misunderstandings. Everyone says it’s normal in every relationship but for you who has barely had a serious relationship like what you currently have with Sungjin, it’s a foreign feeling trying to make amends with someone you’re romantically involved with and had to choose the next move.
This is the first major fight with him. The last five months of dating have been wonderful until weeks ago when you noticed that your boyfriend started withdrawing himself from you, physically and emotionally. This stressed you out though you still tried your best to be there for him. Whenever you two are alone, you couldn’t really talk to him about anything for more than five minutes. His mind obviously wandering off and he never realizes it when you stop mid-sentence until you’re parting ways. Whenever you try to ask what’s been bothering him, he just easily dismisses it off, saying he’s tired and he lacks sleep—which is also why you tried to limit your meetings after classes and dates, thinking it would help him a bit to spare a few more hours to rest. This side of Sungjin is completely new to you as you’ve known him for being so straightforward in telling what he thinks or feels and is usually logical with his actions. The fact that he no longer shares what’s bothering him makes you think of a hundred different reasons for being cold towards you.
Has he had enough of you? Did he realize you were too plain and boring for his liking? Were you not good in bed? Did he find someone else?
The blood on your face drained at the thought of Sungjin going out with some other girl. But you can’t stop him if that’s what he wants, can you? You can’t tell him how to feel. Of all the things, to be an obsessive girlfriend is one you’re dreading the most and after all the sacrifices and adjustments you made to try to help him with whatever burden he’s lifting, you’re determined to let him find the answers to his troubles himself. It’s not that you no longer want to help him, you love him too much, after all, but how can you help someone who refuses to help himself?
“Sweetie, have you tried talking to him again lately?” your friend, Yejin asked.
You glared at her and disappointment crossed your face. Has she really been listening to ask that question?
“No, I mean, I thought the last real conversation you had personally was like, what, almost two weeks ago? Did you try seeing him after class again after that?”
The three of you sat at your usual place in the coffee shop when your class was canceled by the professor to attend some personal matters.
Shaking your head, you reached for your cup and took a sip before answering. “I haven’t. He kept saying he’s tired and needs sleep so I gave him time to rest. And it’s been four days of merely receiving a text message from him. He won’t text me unless I text him first. I have no idea what’s happening to him,” you looked at Erin’s direction. “Did JB say anything?”
“That motherfucker doesn’t tell me any of his friends’ business, Y/N, but let me see if I can get anything.”
Even your friends who got closer to your boyfriend can’t think of him as someone who would cheat or be entertained by other girls. After a whole hour at the coffee shop trying to guess the possible reasons for Sungjin’s actions,  they suggested a silly plan of making him jealous to see how he responds when you’re on the brink of being taken away from him.
You did not like the idea. It was ridiculous and manipulative. You’re no longer in high school.  
“Come on, that could be a wake-up call for him. Just think of it as a social experiment and you’ll be fine,” Yejin tried to persuade you.
Ridiculously scary. Deep down, you’re also scared of how he will react to this plan. What if the situation worsens instead of getting better? He could just not talk to you again forever and you'll be dwelling in your own pain alone because of a stupid idea. But doing something is better than sulking and doing nothing, right? You’re young, and when you’re young, you can be stupid for free.
So you agreed and you started planning your own little scheme with your friends, hoping not to cause any further damage to your entire relationship.
For days, Erin made up stories about a guy from your class who is making a move on you and told her boyfriend about the plan to make Sungjin jealous. When JB said his best friend interrogated him about the innocent guy, she knew the plan will be going well so she came up with another without telling you.
As a celebration for the nearing end of the finals, your seniors decided to throw a grand party. Such parties should be considered a tradition already since almost everyone finds an excuse to get wasted after studying hard for the whole semester. You’re not one to miss such a celebration, especially when you ever really party during after the hell week.
Overhearing JB’s conversations with his girlfriend about some dude lurking around you has brought him back to his senses. For the last couple of days, he contemplated and reflected on his attitude towards you. He’s been a jerk to you lately and frankly, he didn’t know how to approach you again after that. He’s been too occupied in his own head that he forgot he actually has you now, someone who’s more than willing to share his troubles. Before he knew it, he was dashing through his car to the party where Yejin told him you’d be.
You came to the party to try to not overthink the problem between you and Sungjin. After surviving the finals week with emotional baggage, you know you deserve some booze to celebrate walking out of at least one thing alive. the last thing you hear about your little scheme with your friends is that Sungjin fired questions to JB. But he didn’t talk to you after that. Thankfully, you were also too busy to worry about your grades and it’s been a great distraction so far. Now that the finals are over, you’ll be damned again.
Sungjin found you scooping from a large tub of ice cream from the kitchen, bottles of beer and half-filled party cups surrounding you in the little space. There is a guy beside you laughing at the way you’re trying to scoop a frozen solid treat using a regular spoon. You’re too focused on what you’re doing that you didn’t see him come right in front of you.
To your surprise, Sungjin snatched the tub out of grasp and grabbed your hand. You needed a second to process what just happened but you are elated to see your boyfriend after nearly three weeks.
You let Sungjin pull you but were shocked when the guy beside you grabbed on your other wrist. What the hell? You didn’t even know his name. You saw Sungjin squint at the nameless guy and you immediately yanked away from him, wincing at the sudden jerk of your own hand immediately after.
Sungjin kept you to his chest as he waded through the sea of drunk people. All the while, you kept looking at his face. It felt months since you’ve been this close to him and at that moment, you were just ready to feed on whatever excuse he could say. He could lie to your face at that moment and you’d still be happy to welcome him back into your arms.
Merely a few feet from his car, you stopped walking and tugged on his arm. You slowly closed the distance between you two and encircled your arms around his shoulders when he turned to look at you.
Sungjin looked at your face closely, noticing you’ve lost some weight by the way the dimple on your left poked your cheek a bit deeper than the last time he saw you. His hands automatically found their way at your sides.
“I miss you so much,” you whispered while searching his eyes.
Sungjin leaned forward and kissed you feverishly. He guided you on your back until you are leaning toward his parked car. He pressed his body against you and you continued kissing until you both needed to gasp for some air. After resting for a few seconds, he began nipping and sucking on the sensitive area on your neck.
Proper communication be damned—you need him to touch you and you need it as soon as possible. You squirmed beneath him to try to close your legs when you felt wetness pooling in your panties but Sungjin’s left leg was pressed between your thighs.
He understood what you’re trying to do and immediately pressed a thigh against your core, amused to feel your wetness even through the material of your panties. His cock twitched inside his pants.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry,” he repeated as he embraced you tightly and kissed your temple before opening the door and letting you inside his car drove away.
Sungjin's hands quickly reached for the zipper of your dress, letting it pool around your feet, as soon as you reached inside his apartment. In an instant, his mouth was back against yours. He lifted both your thighs to circle his hips and your arms circled his broad shoulders for support.
You felt his hard shaft poking your entrance and you reached down to undo the fastening of his pants, pulling the waistband down just enough to free his throbbing cock.
Sungjin hissed when you grabbed his cock and spread the leaking precum over his tip. “Shit-”
You bobbed your hand up and down his length until you felt being laid down on the mattress, your boyfriend hovering over you.
He bucked his hips lightly to your touch and buried his head on your shoulders, to suppress his sinful moans.
You felt his body shake and he peeled himself off of you. “Baby, stop.”
Sungjin lifted his body and kissed the side of your head before reaching out to remove your soaked panties. He kissed and occasionally nipped the inside of your thighs before nudging the tip of his nose along your slit.
“Fuck, Sungjin stop tea—” you shrieked and were cut short when he licked a stip between your folds. Your hands immediately found purchase at his hair, tugging at it every time he licked your core and sucked on your clit.
“Language, baby,” he groaned hoarsely before inserting a finger into you. He continued his ministrations to your core, adding a second and third finger shortly after. “Need to stretch you up a bit more, baby. Damn, you got tighter without my cock deep inside you huh.”
You tried to stop Sungjin’s hands when you felt your release nearing. But he didn’t budge. He even picked up the pace and encouraged you to let go.
“Are you cumming, baby?”
You bit your bottom lip and nodded, unable to stitch words at the pleasure of having him between your thighs again.
“Words, baby. Use your words. Did you miss this? My hands and cock working on your pussy?”
“Sungjin—fuck, yes, I missed you and your cock inside me” you breathed and struggled to look him in the eye. “I missed you fucking me after classes.”
The memories of Sungjin fucking you in the most boring places brought you easily over the edge. In a few seconds, you are shaking uncontrollably and you felt your juices streaming out of your core deliciously.
Sungjin smirked as he leered at your pussy leaking out of cum. His hands didn’t cease its movements and continued to fuck you with his hands. Your whole body is almost quivering.
When he sensed you’re nearing your second orgasm, he grabbed his cock and positioned himself at your entrance. He coated himself with your juices before slowly pushing inside of you.
You stiffen for a short moment, trying to adjust to his size, and then slightly rolled your hips.
“I love you,” Sungjin whispered against your ear. “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated, this time against your lips, before bottoming out and sheathing himself inside you again.
You cried out in pleasure as he started to thrust into you harder and chased your orgasm.
Sungjin remained sheathed inside you even after shooting his load, his cock warming itself pretty nicely inside your pussy as he cuddled you on the bed.
Neither of you attempted to strike a conversation. You were not sure about him but the activity rendered you rather tired. A sound sleep while being cuddled would be much appreciated at that moment. Until you heard Sungjin sigh loudly. You looked over at him and saw his eyes being distant again.
“You have that look again,” you started slowly. You propped yourself in one arm, looked at him with adoration, and stroke his cheek. “Babe, you don’t have to tell me everything all at once. But please, don’t push me away. I love you and it’s hard for me to see you suffer on your own.”
He was fazed by the sadness in your voice. How could he ever deserve a girl like you? The last thing he wanted is to disappoint and burden you with his own problems and he thought at first he’s been doing a great job with it.  
Sungjin took a deep breath. He reached for your hand on his cheek and kissed it, bringing your torso against his once again. All the major problems that took the most space in his mind were spilled. He told you the pressure his family is bestowing upon him with the graduation and board exams around the corner and also their expectations for him to continue the business his father started.
You listened to his troubles. At that moment you knew you just needed to understand him, to try to perceive things in his shoes.
Sungjin isn’t the type of person who openly shares every little trouble he has as he’s afraid to burden other people. He believes everyone already has problems of their own and own demons to fight and dumping his worries could just add to that. But, oddly enough, hearing himself talk about it kind of helped to look at the situation again and evaluate his feelings and actions. As he continued to tell you his worries, he realized that it isn’t so bad to share the burden with your most trusted person.
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fruits basket manga lb (ch 115-118)
CH 115
“The feeling... of being left behind.” Oh no. 
I actually agree with the maid - Ren IS despicable. She’s horrible. I do think I’m at the point where I dislike her more than Akito, honestly. I at least feel bad for Akito at certain points and it’s growing with each chapter. Ren? She can fuck off, honestly. 
“She’s worthless” about Isuzu. Lol shut up bitch 
“You’re the one who’s worthless, Ren-san” OH HO SHIGURE WENT THERE
Ren is such a hypocrite. In one breath, she criticizes Akito for holing onto ‘delusions’ when she’s sitting here doing the same shit with Akira. 
“She just didn’t want to stop being Akira-san’s ‘number one.’ She’s jealous.” FACTS
Wow she didn’t even hold baby Akito. :/ 
“The way she is now... whose fault.... is that?” I love that this is being brought up, and I’m gonna talk about it. Akito is a product of her environment, we know this. It’s not surprising that she turned out this way. It’s all she knew. She’s clinging to words that her father told her, to justify her actions and make sense of her existence. Otherwise, in Akito’s eyes, her mom was right about her - and that’s a horrible perspective to have. It’s understandable of course: that is what abused children think. Akito is as much a victim from abuse as any of the others. It’s like this entire series has been a game between Ren and Akito and seeing who the winner will end up being, and damn the collateral picked up along the way. 
The way Akito is now.... it’s mostly her own fault, but it’s ALSO Ren’s, Shigure’s, Kureno’s, the maids, the entire Sohma family’s. They all either directly caused this behavior or were content to let it continue. Or they simply chose not to try and get her help or direct her something more positive. I blame Kureno less than I do the others, because he was as much as a victim as everyone else, in his own way. Shigure I do hold responsible because even though he’s under the curse too, he knew Akito best, knew her entire situation, and is still comfortable talking to and fraternizing with Ren. 
At the end of the day though, Akito’s decisions are her own, and until she owns up to it and changes her ways, she’s the same as her mother. I feel much more for her now as opposed to when I first started the manga and anime, but she’s still got a ways to go for me. We’ll see by the end where I stand on her. 
One thing I know for sure: Ren is an irredeemable piece of shit. 
Okay, let me address this scene with Akira and Akito. I totally get where he’s coming from, being a loving father to his daughter that is treated like crap by her own mother. She deserves this warmth and care from her parents, even if from just one. But I feel like this approach, the way he explained her destiny to her, was part of the problem. One parent was overly loving and wanted to give the child everything and told her how important she was and the other was cruel and cold. Akira needed to let Akito know the meaning of the word “no.” Not to be harsh, or cruel to her, but to let her know that the Zodiacs are people too, and they can’t be sentenced to a life of imprisonment with her just because she is their God. That if she treats them right, they’ll be close and bonded, but allowed to live lives of their own. It doesn’t mean that she’s been abandoned, or that no one wants to be with her. Healthy relationships can exist from a distance, and that was not expressed by anyone in Akito’s life. It certainly explains her terror when thinking they’re all going to leave her, or she’s told that they’re going to. 
OH SHIT OH MSJFSFJS DID THAT JUST HAPPEN
MOMIJI’S CURSE
IT JUST BROKE
IM SOBBING MY BEAUTIFUL BOY IS FREE
CH 116
Momiji is walking past his mom’s house? I’m upset
Ohh boy here comes Akito
I do feel bad for her... it’s sad, because she’s brought all of this on herself, and to a degree, it’s karma. But at the same time, I can’t help but feel bad. 
Momiji realizing that Akito is weak and has no power over him anymore.... wow, we love to see it. 
omg are Haru and Yuki realizing it??? 
Tohru blushing at seeing Kyo!! 
Momiji watching her! ;A; 
“Well... you know, right?” AHHHHHHH HE SAID IT
Oh, Momiji did go talk to Akito again... 
“Akito, I can’t spend the rest of my life at your side.” YES MY BOY
Okay here she goes, slapping him. And she’s rubbing salt in the wound, lashing out because of her own pain... and Momiji is bigger than that, better than that. The fact that he’s admitting that nothing will go back to how it was, that breaking from the curse is just as much a curse as actually being under one... that’s truly sad. I hadn’t thought of the bond as a beautiful thing in a while, but I see the potential it could’ve had TO be. They were united by something that could’ve been beautiful. To an extent, in between all of the horror that came with it, it was. 
“I’m going to walk my own path.” I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
“How about you? How long are you going to stay HERE?” I love this question for many reasons, but mostly because it shows that Momiji still cares about Akito and wants her to be happy, too. 
I respect that Akito isn’t trying to stop him even further with more violence or more demeaning words. I don’t know if Momiji’s words are having an impact and she’s starting to realize what she’s caused, or if she’s internally about to have a meltdown and do something much worse, but for the moment, I like that she isn’t lashing out at him much more. 
CH 117
Oh, we’re paralleling mother relationships with Tohru and Akito, are we? They really are foils of one another. 
You’ll get another chance, Tohru!! 
Damn Ren is legit awful. 
“This thing?! It was just a toy to pass the time!” Oh, okay. Explains the “you’re just a toy for me to play with” from little Akito to Yuki. Was this the moment she snapped in the room and painted it black? Was this the precursor? And she repeated those awful words her mother said to her? 
“It meant that I could show off...in front of that woman.” Yep, called it. 
Holy shit she’s becoming aware... “I forced them to stay.” 
“I had faith that no one could split us apart.” So Tohru being involved was so Akito could show Ren that no one could interfere with her bond to the Zodiac. I hate saying that Ren was right, but... it’s true. And like the sad thing is, in this case, the bond SHOULD be severed, because it’s unhealthy for everyone involved, including Akito. But I relate to Akito here: I wouldn’t want my abuser to be proven ‘right’, either. 
Ren is insane
I do appreciate the maids being kind to little Akito. It’s just an unfortunate situation. All of the wrong words in the wrong kind of environment, not knowing how much to support someone without supporting them TOO much to the point of enablement... 
CH 118
Is Akito actually gonna kill Ren? I’m not opposed to that honestly. 
HIRO
HE’S HOLDING HIS BABY SISTER!!!
DID HIS CURSE BREAK?!
YESSSS
That’s two Zodiacs down! oh my god it’s actually HAPPENING.
“No one ever gave me a different way to live!” I mean, Akito is not wrong. She’s justifying her actions, but at the same time, she has a point. Everyone around her allowed this. Like I said: at the end of the day, she’s responsible for her own actions and she needs to own up to them and not shift the blame to everyone except herself. Hold everyone else just as responsible, yes: but admit your own faults. 
SHE JUST STABBED KURENO
JFC
Come on, Akito. You could’ve made a good decision right there, Kureno is willing to help you with the change. But unless you actively want to, nothing will happen. 
Is Kureno actually going to die??? omg. This was the quick moment from the trailer with the knife, right? Holy shit.
“So then what? It’s MY fault?” YES. YES, it IS! It’s your mother’s, and Kureno’s, and Shigure’s and the Sohma’s too - but it is YOUR fault with how you continue to treat people. 
“Where are they all going to go?” as she thinks of Tohru.
Oh god
oh fuck
Akito, I’m being more sympathetic to you, but if you hurt Tohru again, it’s OVER. 
Kyoru!!
“Kyo-kun... there’s something... I need to tell you.” OH MY GOD HERE WE GO HERE SJFJSFJSFJSJFSJFSF
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Love Isn’t Always On Time Part Forty Two
Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist Notes: Not Beta-Read.  I hope everyone’s having a good week! Warnings: Uhhh angst? Beyond that, none Summary: Wakanda had been in a state of upheaval shortly after we’d taken up residence. Steve had been out of the country when it had happened, helping Wanda and Vision get situated.
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“Are you here to see your friend?” I turned at the sound of Shuri’s voice, smiling at the questioning look on her face. “No, I was looking for you, actually.” I tentatively held a plate of cookies out to her. “Just... A thanks for, you know, everything you’re doing for us.” I’d already dropped some off to Okoye, as well as Ramonda and T’Challa (who had all been very confused and amused - I was sure no one had ever bothered to just bake them cookies before, but what the hell else could I offer literal royalty?). Shuri plucked a cookie off of a the plate and gave it a whiff before taking a bite, chewing it over carefully. She hummed then, delighted, and took the plate from my hands, walking over to her work station. I trailed behind, tucking my hands into my pockets. "How’ve you been?” I asked. She shrugged, setting the plate down. "I haven’t had any previously unknown cousins try and murder or usurp my brother this week, so,” She gave me a thumbs up. I gave her a sympathetic smile, leaning against the table. Wakanda had been in a state of upheaval shortly after we’d taken up residence. Steve had been out of the country when it had happened, helping Wanda and Vision get situated. T’Challa’s choice to open Wakanda to the world made me a little wary. Ross still didn’t know where we were, I was sure, but it felt like tempting fate. “Okoye said you’re going to train with her,” Shuri mentioned as she began to pull up her work. I nodded. “I don’t know if... ‘train’ is exactly the word for it. She offered to give me some pointers. But I’ve seen her in action, I think she’s just going to kick my ass.” “Please let me know when that happens, because I’d like to see that,” Shuri grinned toothily at me. I laughed. “Hey! I’m never bringing you cookies again.”
-- “Hey, Buck.” It felt stupid -- was this stupid? I’d read somewhere once that it was good to speak to someone that was in a coma because it could help trigger awareness in the brain. But Bucky wasn’t in a coma, he was cryogenically frozen. I tried to push down the distinctly stupid feeling in my stomach, clearing my throat. I shifted from foot to foot, looking down at the floor. “You’re missing all the excitement around here... But maybe you’d prefer it that way, you’ve had probably enough excitement for a couple years...Or a century, I don’t know, jesus... Steve’s not here right now, which is... I don’t know, he says it’s just for this now, to get the others in a good place, but I feel like it’s something I’m gonna have to get used to until we get you back. I don’t think I’m enough to bring him back anymore, I think it’s just you, Bucky, honestly.” I could feel my resolve weakening just a bit as I lifted my head to look at Bucky’s peaceful face. I bit my lower lip to keep it from wobbling, frustratedly scrubbed a hand over my face to stop the tears that were set to fall. “And I’m not-- I’m not jealous, Buck, it’s not that. I’ve gotten to spend plenty of time with Steve, I’ve been spoiled rotten with time with him, and you two need that, too, I know that. You two have always had that bond more than I’ve ever had with either of you. I always felt like I was just intruding on your life-- I was never supposed to be in it in the first place, S.H.I.E.L.D really fucked that one up--  I really fucked that up. I should’ve just let you two alone. I tried to, you know? Tried to cut the chord once and I just couldn’t. Steve thought it was because I found out about you two, it wasn’t that. I mean, obviously.” I stared at Bucky for a few moments - at the cut on his cheek and nose, at the cap that had been fitted over where his metal arm had been. “I don’t know if I can stay here,” I admitted in a whisper, “Without you and--And with Steve so in and out... Nat and Wanda and Vision and Sam are all over the place, right? For their safety, and Wakanda’s. What sense does it make for me to stick?” -- “You’re sure about this?” T’Challa had asked it once before, when I’d come to him and asked him for a transport to Cairo. I was in contact with a couple of friends of mine that lived there, ex-S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, and I knew I’d be able to lay low for a little while. Leaving for now didn’t mean leaving forever, and Ramonda had kindly told me that Wakanda would be open to me, whenever I needed to return. “Yes.” I said it with more confidence than I felt. Steve was supposed to be back days ago. It had been total radio silence from him. I knew he couldn’t have been captured by Ross; it would’ve been all over the news if that had happened. T’Challa cocked his head to the side, either in disbelief or disapproval before he nodded. “You’ve left a note for Captain Rogers, I presume.” I had, short and sweet, because everything that had been longer had just read messily. "Are we ready?” Nakia asked. I turned to look at her, brow furrowed as I repeated, “We?” "We have a mission to attend to in Cairo. Nakia will be traveling with you-- I hope that won’t be an inconvenience,” T’Challa added. I raised a brow. Something told me such a mission had had to be invented as cover to ensure I wouldn't travel alone, and I was a little grateful for it. “Of course not,” I shook my head, “And, yes, we’re ready to go.” Nakia and I left the throne room, heding for the transport in companionable silence. Until, “If you don’t mind my asking,” Nakia said, “Why are you doing this?” I pursed my lips, trying to find the best way to explain. “Because... Once Shuri finds a fix, and Bucky is awake and Steve is back, they’ll need that time to themselves to sort everything out. I don’t want to get in the way.” “And it wouldn’t be solved by going into another room? You have to go to an entirely different country?” I frowned as we boarded the Royal Talon Fighter. “It’s not safe for me to be here-- For them. The fewer of us are congregated in Wakanda at any one time, the safer it’ll be for Bucky, and the less scrutiny Wakanda will come under if anyone finds out we’re here. Bucky needs time to heal in peace. Steve’ll be better for him, he’s gone through this, adjusting to a new a world-- Properly adjusting.” “You care about them a great deal,” Nakia said softly as we settled into our seats. I nodded. I did. But I was also selfishly hiding behind that care rather than speaking my fear: once Bucky and Steve had one another again, once they were able to begin healing the way they never could before, they wouldn’t need me or want me around. They’d never needed me before - if I’d never gone back and met them, nothing would’ve changed, they would’ve still loved one another. “It looks like Captain Rogers is back,” Nakia drew my attention to Steve’s aircraft as it settled on the tarmac beside us. I felt my heart begin to pound in my chest, my throat go dry; if I tried to explain to him in person, if he tried to make me see reason, I’d never go. “I can wait, you can go and say goodbye,” Nakia added brightly; her smile wavered as I shook my head and looked out through the windshield. “Let’s go,” I said firmly. When the engine didn’t kick on, I turned to face her again, pleading, “Please.” Nakia lowered her eyes to the controls. She cast one more glance in the direction of Steve’s aircraft before doing as I asked. I let the sound of my heartbeat be drowned out by the sound of the engines as Wakanda, and Bucky, and Steve all dropped away. Tag list: @gloryevans @redryderdesigns @winter-scolder @aactuaaltraash @secretagentben @staplerrrr @elliee1497 @adayinmymeadow  @allonszassbutt @mannls @witch-of-letters  @niallssweetheart22 @uneniffler  @rinthehufflepuff @panic-angel3314  @firstangeldragonranch @kaetastic @mcuwillbethedeathofme @skeletoresinthebasement @i-dont-know-what-im-doing-yay @kkaos15 @iamnotoverlyfondofwhatfollows  @bassclarinety @tomshelbystits @rvgrsbrns @marvelmenarebeautiful @tenaciousperfectionunknown @intricate-melody​ @stuffandstuff-stuff​ @fanfuckingtastic04 @messybunnyartist @anescapefromtheworld  @shesa-riott​ @bihoeofmanyfandoms @martyniasz @mamooska8 @silver-winter-wolf
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demonicintegrity · 4 years
Text
Some Kipo character-based thoughts
Scarlamange is most definitely going to have an arc or two in the future. I say two because I feel like just one in one season isn’t gonna be enough for him to be redeemed and more emotional stable. In my mind Kipo could go on for two more seasons before I see material getting stale.
Speaking of emotional stability I honestly believe Hugo and Wolf are the most emotionally damaged characters of the show.
Hugo was treated as a labrat, was respected/care for by only two people who he then thought couldve been dead only to realize they left without him, took it as a sign of rejection, has majoR abandonment issues and Im sure an identity crisis somewhere in there, and just lost his only other dream/passion which was monarchy. Dudes been through some shit and has been shown to be borderline manic in some ways. Yet he STILL seems to wish for some sort of companionship, especially with Kipo.
Ill never get over how he called Kipo “little sister”
God i want more bonding moments between Kipo and Hugo, even if he cant find himself completely loving Lio again, I want him to have a good relationship with Kipo ;;;v;;;
Wolf is our other emotionally scarred child. Seriously, the trauma of having a family raise you only to turn and try to kill you is rough. Like really rough. **and no one else knows** She’s literally living and dealing with the damage on her own. I feel like we’re gonna see her have a mental breakdown if she ever opens up to anyone about the trauma shes been through. The wiki says shes 10, which is soooo young omg I wanna hug her.
Speaking of Wolf, I have a personal headcannon that she never gave herself a name after she left her wolf pack. Whatever name they gave her is likely the only one shes ever known herself to be. Shes never given a name and seem fine being called Wolf and whatever else the co comes up with.
I also have no idea who Wolf skinned for her pelt but the idea of a girl less than 10 being able to kill, cook, eat, and make a goddamn pelt out of an animal is horrifying in its own right. I also feel like she wears the wolf pelt because she doesn’t have a whole lot of identity out of it. She was literally raised by wolves. It’s likely the only solid form of identity she was given. Makes me wonder if she’ll revamp herself at some point. She is very young. She’s likely going to change a lot over the course of her life
God i hope as a teen and adult Wolf is able to get therapy and be a much more relaxed and happy person.
If season 2 was any indicator Jamack might just show up for one episode and then just disappear again. In way it’s kind of fitting since he seems to just be floating along with life now that he’s not apart of the Mod Frogs.
Speaking of which. idk if he was there for the coronation but I feel like Jamack’s reaction to his former boss and colleagues being fucking dead HAS to be dead at some point. Like,,,, theres some more emotional baggage for him to deal with
Holy shit them being turned into statues like that was fucking brutal my dude. and the implications that Scarlemange was down to do it again potentially is sooo fucked. I havent gotten *that* kind of brutalness in a children’s show since when White Diamond pulled out Steven’s gem in CYM.
Seriously, its rated TV-Y7 on netflix.
Back on track, Jamack is totally Kipo’s uncle figure who just floats by every now again from whatever new thing he’s doing. Dude’s really interesting and I adore his attachment to Kipo and I really hope it’s explored more. Good lord Lio’s reaction to him could be comedy gold if played right.
TD:LR I want more Jamack content and more Kipo/Hugo bonding content. Also give Wolf therapy 2k20
Why didn’t Kipo just break down the wall in the final episode. Wouldn’t that be so much easier than tipping over the tree. Literally just,,, break a wall and let everyone out. I get it’s a drop down but it’s not like they were gonna be able to use the entrance they got in with anyways with the gold in the way. Just,,,, break the fucking wall next time.
Also, if Scarlemange’s plan did work out and he really was Emperor, it wouldn’t last for long. Ignoring his own personal baggage that could/would interfere, I simply doubt he understands what goes into running a functional society. Doubt they were giving him textbooks on civics and government to read while in the burrow. It wouldn’t have been long before some of the other gangs got pissed at him for something or being overthrown started being planned. I suppose it was better for him that it ended before it could start, because I’d hate to see the spiral he’d go on with that.
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normieexclusive · 4 years
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How My MC wins the boys over:
Ah, um, this really went off from the original story line. This was also supposed to be a short simple thing but then I started thinking and two hours later Im left with a bunch of messy notes and thoughts
The first to fall victim is:
Mammon turns out to be easy, literally MC just shows him an ounce of kindness and he takes it and runs. 
Unconsciously MC gets much softer around him then the others (A combination of total trust in him and wanting to show how much love he deserves despite his brothers treating him harshly) 
 hes the one that gets the most kisses, the most hugs, and its great for them at first because they get to make fun of the dumb ass second born getting doted on but some silly little human and (while denying it constantly) loving it. 
But then the others start to actually like MC and Mammon can nearly feel the six pairs of eyes glaring him down as his Human showers him with all the affection before going about their day. 
(There’s one moment where, while Mammons sitting on the floor and MC is on the bed and he's making fun of one of his brothers that MC just grabs him by the back of his shirt collar- with only a finger- pulls him in between her legs (So his back is to her) and gives him a kiss on the top of his head as she coos "Mammon, be nice to your brothers" and he shuts down for the rest of the day) 
Second, but the bestest of friends!:
With Levi its by being a grade A nerd and overthinking.
 She reads all of TSL for their big quiz, and watches the movies with Beel and mammon, but on top of that the nerd goes back to the books and starts to annotate everything. 
She starts digging for any bit of subtext she can find and jotting down notes in the margins, in her notebook, on sticky notes. 
It becomes enough of an issue that she has to buy a new set because the first (Old and used) ones she got off of akuzon are ruined with her messy scrawling.
 During the quiz they are evenly matched (if only because shes given such easy questions. Shes pissed but at the same time oh gosh she is really not up to Levis level) and somewhere along the way she just... Goes off about this theory of hers and reading the subtext because she needs to get this out and it seems like Levis the only one that can really keep up with her 
(She tried to talk to Mammon and Beel but, honestly, they're as helpful as you'd think)
 She forgets about the whole quiz and yanks out her vandalized book in order to debate with Levi about a part. Levi is horrified at the state of her TSL book and nearly goes apeshit right there, but then she shows just how much of a nerd she truly is by showing him the much nicer version she brought along
("And its even signed! Can you believe that! I didn't order a signed one cause they were too expensive but somehow the boxes must have gotten switched up! Ah! Levi! You have a shrine in you're room for them right! You should have these copies, I think you'll take more care of them then I can!")
Whenever they have a conversation its gibberish to everyone around them but they get it and that’s what matters.
(They spend nights just in his room and no one knows what they're doing so they assume the worst. The others always send Levi dirty looks when it happens, and Levi always looks a little more refreshed after every one.
They're having anime/gaming/TSL marathons but Levi lives for the jealousy that rolls off his brothers so hes not telling them anytime soon)
Somewhere starting after her pact with Levi and after the Lucifer/Satan Body switch:
The whole fiasco with Levi actually leads to Satan warming up to her!
 He had initially brushed her off as a soon to be Lucifer Lapdog (and also kind of dumb) but now he's interested. 
Someone whos capable of dissecting a book like that has to at least have some ability to reason, he just cant figure out if that moment was a fluke or if shes actually smart. 
He refuses to start a conversation with her like a normal person and instead resorts to pranking her at every opportunity hoping to see if she’ll think her way out of it (He does leave some hints for when ones about to happen, but gets frustrated when she walks right past them)
 It backfires on him tremendously because, somehow, they never seem to work! it goes to the point where it becomes rube goldberg levels of pranks that are always almost-but-not-quite misses because she bent down at just the right time to pick up a shiny rock. 
Satan is at his wits end and ready to rip someone apart
 his pranks start to extend to the others, it’s only after mammon mentions such that it finally clicks in her...
That same day she willingly walks into a pie in the face and Satan nearly cries. 
After he starts to rile her up more often with words. He learns very quickly that she is a fantastic debate partner and, if he can find the right button to push, he’ll get her going for hours as they go back and forth
(And!! Even better!! Not only does she listen to everything he says and waits her turn! But Shes willing to change her opinion when she thinks he has a better point. When she loses She’ll come back hours later to drag more information out of him.
That’s usually not the case though, because Satan finds way too much enjoyment out of playing devils advocate and will simply choose whatever is opposition her POV. 
He tried to argue about how she couldn't possibly like a flavor of candy she was eating because he didn't like it and nearly gave her an aneurysm)
(To his complete embarrassment, though, he has gotten hard during one of their debates and nearly lost because she looked fucking amazing as she shouted at him)
A bond that starts right at their first meeting and grows throughout her entire time there:
Beel is scary at first, and Lucifer- for some forsaken reason- made it her job to make sure Beel doesn't clean out the fridge every single day.
Shes scared of the man that seemed more then willing to eat her, but shes more scared of whatever punishment Lucifer would deal if she didn't at least try.
 So she goes
 It only takes her one run in with Beel and his puppy dog eyes (Because how could she just stop him like that!! How awful of her!!) for her to figure out that
 A: this man is harmless and...
B:she knows what hunger pains feel like and the guilt wells up
Still she knows she can let him go so she spends her grimm allowance on buying ingredients to cook with and makes him huge meals as "offerings"
 It doesn't always stop him from eating half the fridge, but sometimes it seems like he's willing to actually savor what she makes. 
It gives her enough time to save the ingredients for dinner that night. (and If Beel sometimes wanders over to the kitchen while shes watching so shell make something for him, well there’s no harm done
The bastard pavlov dogged her and shes none the wiser) 
Slow and steady, the pieces fall into place naturally:
Asmo turns out to be another easy one, to her shock.
Even with MCs jealousy over how stunning Amso looks and how easy it is for him... they just seem to drift to each other
Starts with a comment on Asmos sharp eyeliner one day, and Asmo asking MC what shampoo she uses. 
Then the next day the same brand shampoo (And conditioner) will be left outside his door. And after MC will walk into the bathroom first thing in the morning only to wonder whom the fuck applied eyeliner to her in her sleep
It starts with days where they greet each other in the morning, to Stopping to chat for a few moments before heading on with their morning routine, to them walking down together, to Asmo fussing over her disheveled look after just waking up ‘-seriously Asmo not everyone can just roll out of bed like some Demons and look stunning’ - to ‘MC move over a scooch I need more room’ ‘Asmodeus this is my bed’ ‘Well how are we both supposed to fit when its so small!’, to weekly spa days and Gossiping about the others.
Its such an smooth transition that they both feel like it had always been as it was- two friends whispering secrets to each other late at night, pinky promises made over arbitrary things, laying so close that they can feel the others breathing. If maybe he leaned in a little closer they would--
--Oh... She fell asleep again. 
And he curls up next to her, blanket wrapped around both of them (That is, until Asmo hogs it later) and sleeps peacefully
A build up of trust, and a moment of venerability that finally knocks down his walls:
Swallows her pride for Lucifer
Its hard to explain in words for her, but she tells him of her family.
A family that is good but dosnt care, that used to leave her alone for hours on end when she was far too young. She says it with a smile too, admits that it helped her become as independent as she was, that she could cook for herself before she was 10.
She tells him of her younger brother. Someone she tried her best to love as much as she could only for him to, one day, just stop talking to her. Years trying to build back an abruptly cut connection only for him to snap one day and change his tune to something much worse. A family that watched as he screamed at her, berated her and never did anything. How she still stood tall, how she swallowed back every tear and tried to talk to him with a steady voice- only for him to become angrier.
How, when he did try to snap at other members, she was always there to stand between them. How she was the one to chase him off or take the yelling despite her family never doing the same for her. How she was the stable rock of the family where no one was for her.
Physical violence was only once, but it was enough for her to know things would never change.
She was like him in a way, same but different.
and She cant bear to see the same thing happen to him.
She wants to help, she knows shes just a little, useless human but please she needs to help. She cant bare leaving another broken family behind without helping. Her life had been stagnate before them, unbearably lonely, and she just wants them to be happy, even if that means without her
 even if it means she has to shove her nose where it doesn't belong
So... please... Please... Talk to Belphie. Please. He said he just wants to tal--
(She had earned Lucifer's respect not too long ago, and - to everyone's shock- the revel of what she came upon does not bring upon Lucifer's fury. Instead, he feels a deep understanding that he’ll never say aloud
Shes still going to get lectured, though. But he is too.) 
It takes time:
Spends what probably amounted to most of her time in Devildom with that little fu--
(No, No. Belphie needs help, she needs to reel it in for now.)
She gets what it means to be lonely. Despite her distrust of the man who caged up in a place where the bad people are, you know, supposed to be caged up and tutored feels like she needs to do something- if only to make sure he doesn't lose his mind from the isolation.  
(Rethinks a lot of her life and how she spent just hiding away from everything. How she would lock her door and never come out unless the sounds of another fight reached her. Thought about how it probably messed her up more then shes willing to admit and refuses to let the same thing happen to him
Oh sweet summer child)
Less trusting of him when its reviled that hes the seventh born, but more willing to help. If only for Beels sake
Brings stuff up to his room, a toy, a fluffy blanket, food that she snagged last minute. He complains hes cold one day and she yanks off her own sweater for him
(It all gets flushed down the toilet when she leaves, he scrubs his skin raw thinking about how his room smells disgustingly like that fucking human now) 
And then, one day, it just... changes: 
A human stands between him and the fucker that locked him up in there, his brothers that never knew he was there. All of them watching him with such pity in their eyes and he didnt want it- he didnt want their p-
The door was unlocked.
He was free.
Just like that.
it made no sense. He learns that they-- She-- spent hours dancing around Diavolo, deals were made. A room where it was just her and The Prince of Hell, promises not even Lucifer knew (And some part of Belphie relished in the fact that it was eating away at the fucker) 
("All those hours shouting at each other paid off” She looks to Satan with a smile. A joke he was not privy to. Lucifer huffed but said nothing. 
How much had changed since he was locked up?) 
A slow, downward spiral 
They're never alone, someone is always with her or with him (Beel sticks to his side like glue. after so long he finally gets to sleep next to his brother again) 
He finds food in the fridge with the words “For Beel <3″ in this awful chicken scratch handwriting. Mammon’s screaming interrupts his naps one day and he wakes up to see her smothering the second born in kisses. Her shouting wakes him up as her and Satan pass, her voice becoming high pitched as they argue about... the number of toes humans are supposed to have???? (she sits down next to him and rips off her shoes in a fit of rage, demanding that Belphie count with her because what the fuck-
Satan sneers at her feet and tells the only actual toes are her two big ones, the rest are just digits.)
There’s traces of her everywhere. Layers of clothing haphazardly thrown about after a day at RAD and then neatly placed away. A mention of her name at the dinner table before shes there. Not even his and beels room is safe from her- he can smell her scent on Beels pillow. Faint, but a awful reminder of the human down the hall. 
He hates it, he wants to throw it all away. He wants to erase her memory from his home, he wants to ripe her apa--
A blanket is draped over him one day, and he cant bring himself to open his eyes to see who did it...
She talks to him, Or more like at him. The longer he stays freed the harder is it to hide his distaste towards Humanity and- especially- to her. He thinks shes dense, because he knows his brothers sense there’s something wrong (Levis tail wraps around her when hes too close, Lucifer stands between them, Amso pulls her by the waist. Close to him, further from belphie) But she doesn't. She pushes closer. She asks him questions.
She never touches him, one small blessing in Hell. 
Beel believes him when he bashfully admits one night that he may start to enjoy his time spent with human. And for a moment he feels guilty about the lie but its all for a greater goal
When its just the three of them, Beel leaves for a moment too long. To get snacks, to grab something from another room, it doesn't matter. This was the moment he waited for. 
She smiles at him, all kind and gentle (And the words that leave her lips are unheard through the blood rushing through his ears) and leans forward
He puts his hands around her neck
She goes limp.
He-
He needed to-
He couldn’t squeeze.
Beel comes back with the biggest grin on his face, arms full of snacks (”Here MC I got your favorite”) He sits on the opposite side of Belphie, leaning into him with enough weight that his own shoulder presses against MCs, mushing her against the wall. 
Despite her smile he can feel her shaking.
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liberolove · 4 years
Text
Testing the Waters (pt. 1)
Summary: youve finally graduated high school and now youre moving on to college. youve decided to go to sendai university. its summer and youve become curious about checking out the dating pool in miyagi, so you download a dating app. you figure you might as well have fun before delving too deep into your studies
Part: [part one] out of ???
Pairings: nishinoya x reader / kuroo x reader / oikawa x reader / kiyoko x reader
A/N: theres tons of ships here, just me living out my hoe phase lmao please dont judge me. let me know what yall think
Genre: fluff, smut, crack
Warnings: flirting, college shinanigans
even though you decided to stay in your hometown to further your studies, you moved out as soon as you could. your parents were smothering you and you were honestly tired of it. so, you got your own apartment and started to live on your own. everything was fine and easy so far but then you realized how lonely you felt. your friends had moved away to go to other universities, and you were never really good at relationships. the anxiety of not knowing what to do with yourself until classes started was consuming you. to deal with this, you figured you might as well download a dating app. 
“Gotta check out all the hot singles in my area, I guess,” you thought.
it had been a while since your last relationship but you were sure you were ready again. or maybe you could try to find something different. maybe some hookups could be enough to help you during this weird adjustment period. 
you downloaded the app and added whatever details were needed. 
Name: l/n, y/n
Looking for: chat, relationship, hookup, anything
Bio: 
it took you about ten minutes to finally decide on what you wanted to add to your bio. finally, you typed out:
Bio: just another single college student looking for genuine human connections. Interests include watching anime, reading nerdy shit, and getting to know you 
you were never too good at coming up with bios but this should be good enough for now. time to see what kind of fish you could catch..
not even a minute after uploading a picture of yourself, a new message showed up.
Nishinoya Yuu: hey, beautiful! (;
Y/n: oh hi! how are you?
N: doing better now that I’m talking to youuuu. how about your lovely self?
Y: wow someone is really straightforward. I’m doing pretty well rn thanks. what are you up to?
N: just been bored as fuck on here and then BOOM you showed up (:
Y: lol youre silly. so hows the whole dating scene look like on here? any good ones?
N: nah it sucks honestly. But now you’re here so its a million times better!
Y: oh shush lol. does this site really work? like have you actually met someone from here?
N: uhh i actually havent met anyone yet, but ive had some nice conversations so far! ive still got high hopes
Y: have you been on here for a long time?
N: i just downloaded it like two weeks ago? idk but yeah. im hoping that maybe youll be my first??
Y: your first what? haha be more specific
N: OH sorry!! i didnt mean it like that omg. i meant like my first person to meet off of this app lol
Y: i mean if youre not busy right now, we could meet up for a coffee date or something? (cliche right?)
N: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? like... right now rIGHT NOW?
Y: yeah (: sorry for doing this so fast. you’re just really cute and im bored haha
N: nooooo its fine i swear im just a little shocked. and WOW you think IM CUTE? you should look in the mirror because your gorgeousss *heart eyes emoji*
Y: so its settled? lets meet today at around 1 pm at XXX cafe? 
N: yeah! thats not too far from here! i CANT WAIT
Y: same here (:
as soon as you sent that last message you hopped in the shower and started getting ready. you debated whether to put on makeup or not and then eventually decided to do it. you wore that one red dress that greatly accentuated your butt and your curves. you checked the clock and it was 30 MINUTES UNTIL 1 so you finished up by brushing your hair and adding on a spritz of peach scented perfume. “Hopefully this impresses him.”
the cafe you guys agreed to meet at was only a short walk away from your apartment. you were almost at the cafe when you noticed the time again and it was already 10 MINUTES PAST 1! you were so scared that he thought you stood him up but as you got closer, you noticed a cute boy sitting by himself outside. you stared at his backside for a little, unsure if this was your mystery boy. so you messaged him on the app
Y: heeeey are you the one sitting alone outside with a tan shirt and some ripped black jeans?
your phone lit up with the answer to your question: “yes”
as you looked up again, you noticed the stranger you were staring at had stood up and was looking right into your eyes. once you locked eyes, he grinned the biggest smile you’d ever seen and he chuckled. 
“Hi there!! L/n, right? Nice to meet ya, I’m Nishinoya Yuu. Wow, you’re even more beautiful in person!! Do you want anything from the cafe? I’m buying”
You were kind of shocked by his beautiful smile and his spiky hair. It took you a while to respond as you tried to take in the wonderful sight in front of you. He was simply breath taking. You could tell he was the athletic type by the way his shirt hung onto his broad, toned shoulders. 
“Ummm... L/n? Are you okay? Do you want any coffee or sweets from the cafe?”
“OH, oh my god, I’m so sorry! I got distracted..” you said as you looked away from him, getting redder by the second. you hadn’t even noticed his compliment or the way he kept eyeing you up and down and licking his lips. “Yeah, I’d love to get a coffee, if you don’t mind. Please..”
His eyes snapped back up to yours. “Awesome, I’ll go order inside. You can just sit your pretty little self here while I do that. Don’t run away! I’ll be right back!”
now that you had some time to reflect on what the heck just happened.. you breathed a sigh of relief. You couldn’t believe that he was real and so goddamn gorgeous. His little tuft of blonde hair at the front of his head was so cute and his smile.. goddamn. the way he looked at you.. and his friendly demeanor. it was all so much to take in. you didn’t really know how to react. as soon as you had relaxed, you tensed back up as he came back and sat down with you.
“Here’s your coffee hot and ready just for you, hun”
“Thank you so much Nishinoya” you blushed a bit as your mouth pronounced his name
“Hey, just call me Noya! Or Yuu...”
“On a first name basis already?”
“Only if you want to..”
you giggled as you noticed that he was getting bright pink too. “Okay, Yuu.”
as soon as you said his first name, his eyes lit up and that bright pink hue on his face soon turned into a passionate red
“Soooo..” you said as you tried to break up the silence.. “what do you do? do you go to school?”
“Yeah! I’m going to start going to Sendai University in the fall! I’m going to be playing on the volleyball team! How about you?”
“No way.. I’m gonna go there too! I guess I’ll be seeing you around probably. And wow! Volleyball huh? That’s hot.”
when you said that last part, Noya almost spat out his coffee. you laughed at the look on his face. he was blushing so much he couldn’t keep still. you were almost afraid he would just run away from you and never come back.
He just tried to regain his composure and laughed. “You really got me there oh my god i almost choked. But yeah I can’t wait to play again.”
The rest of the afternoon you guys talked about everything from anime to your favorite season, to your least favorite horror movie. The more you two bonded over common interests, the more he let his wild side out. He became more rambunctious and fiery and this did things to you, to say the least. you checked your phone to check the time and it was already 6:45 pm. You had no clue as to when the sun had started setting, but it didn’t matter because you hadn’t felt this warm fuzzy feeling in your heart in a while. it felt so nice. you didn’t want it to end. but then noya interrupted your thought by saying, 
“Hey, (y/n)..” you two were on a first name basis already and it was just the first date. “it’s getting pretty late and I have to go home and help out my family with some stuff. I hope you don’t mind. Sorry! But we can definitely go out again if you want. i know i sure do..”
“Yes, of course! I totally get it. But first can I get your number?” you look away as you say this because this was the first time you’ve ever asked a guy for their number. 
you two exchange phone numbers and hug goodbye. you let the hug linger for a little longer than you should and plant a quick soft peck on his cheek and say,
“I can’t wait to see you again, Yuu.”
He just smiles and replies, “Me too, Y/n. I’ll see you again soon, babe.”
You freeze up and don’t know what to say as he walks away. you think to yourself, “did he really just call me babe?”
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this was supposed to be an incorrect quote but it spiraled out of control
note: im american idk if yall brits have cuties (kidding im sure ur all cuties ok im sorry i couldnt resist) but i really had to alright pls be-ryllium ar-gon with me yes im sorry we are revisiting chem lads dont worry i will provide you translations/i will make it obvious also theres switching povs & im telling you ahead of time: the puns are very, very bad 
also i wrote this at like late 5am un-beta-ed so please forgive me for any mistakes, i have 0.5 braincells left and i used up 0.279 for academic papers
kind of a crackfic btw 
ok without further ado bc i ramble too much, other notes at the end: 
*on Valentine’s Day*
John woke up to the sound of clinking and the faint sound of rustling of papers, the other side of the bed empty and cold. Ah, probably on that experiment again with those oranges he said were also a good pet name for me. What was it again? Right, cuties. A small smile appeared on John’s unshaven face. His hubby was too endearing for his own good sometimes. 
In the kitchen, Sherlock paced back and forth, eyeing his failed experiment with disdain. Which he was totally worrying more about rather than whether his plan would work. Would John like these? Maybe he should have just gone with George’s advice and went to get some takeout Angelo’s like they often did during quarantine, but Sherlock wanted to make this special. He nervously adjusted his shirt collar, looking down to check that he was indeed wearing the purple shirt John loved so much. Apparently it was called the purple shirt of sex or something? The detective honestly had no idea how or why but that wasn’t important, what was important was John. John. He still couldn’t believe the brilliant, patient, and gorgeous army-doctor was....his husband. After the drunk night they had that one day, things got a bit heated and...well, you could say they definitely had a good time and cleared up their feelings for each other, much to Donovan’s chagrin who lost Scotland Yard’s bet by just a week. Mrs. Hudson was the winner, obviously. 
Thank god for Mrs. Hudson’s and Gavin; he didn’t know what he would do without both of them giving him advice, though the DI wasn’t always pleased to be summoned in the middle of a case to help Sherlock out. 
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Sherlock scanned his surroundings to make sure everything was in place. Ah, he could now hear John about to step into the aisle, right on time. Quickly, Sherlock went back to pretending he was working on his experiment. 
Just a few moments later, John padded into the kitchen, clean shaven, and as expected, looked at Sherlock pointedly. Of course, the detective was used to this and promptly ignored it, waiting for John to say something. 
“Sherlock,” John said, tilting his head to the side a bit, “What is going on here? Why are there little sticky notes all over the place?” 
Sherlock simply shrugged. “Why don’t you go take a look for yourself, John? I’m sure you would be able to find out that way.” 
Sighing, John went back into the living room and perused the various bright colored sticky notes. Sherlock’s scratchy handwriting was on all of them, along with small drawings on some. Stepping closer, John took the first one off the wall above the couch and read the note out loud: 
“Jawn, you’re small and angy, just like the bunch of Copper (Cu) Tellurium (Te) Iodine (I) Einstieinium (Es) we got the other day. Will you be my clemenvalentine?” Belatedly, John noticed a small orange drawn next to it, with a small >:[ face. Sherlock still wasn’t going to let him ever live it down, huh? 
Shaking his head with the faintest hint of a smile crossing John’s expression, he moved on to the next one. 
“John, the first time we met and dined at Angelo’s, I said girlfriends weren’t really my area. What I really wanted to say was that I was Gallium (Ga) Yttrium (Y), John. Obviously, I am married to my work and love of my life now, but would you still be my Valentine again, for the 11th time?” This one was written in rainbow ink, probably one of those pens Rosie got for Sherlock, insisting that he would have some use for them someday. Which he did, evidently.
As John picked up more and more notes strewn around the room, and read more and more puns, some of his favorites being, “Forget Hydrogen–you’re my number one element” and “Why don’t we go back to the bedroom and form a covalent bond ;) Or we could do it on the table, periodically” he didn’t know whether he should have laughed or cried. Maybe both. Some were so bad they were hilarious but the fact that they were that bad just made it more funny and endearing. Oh Sherlock, where would I bee without you? who would I be without you?
Oh god, John realized with horror. Sherlock’s terrible puns were rubbing off him and invading his thoughts. Typical of him, that bloody cute charismatic arse.  
Finally, John reached the last one. 
“John, I know I’m not very good with expressing my affection for you, but I want you to know, especially today, that Iodine (I) Lutetium (Lu) Vanadium (V) Uranium (U). You are my best friend, my lover, my husband, and my lifelong partner. You’ll always be my doctor and blogger at heart.” On the side, a small smiley face was drawn. 
The entire time, John knew Sherlock’s eyes were on him, even though he pretended to be busy with his experiment. The doctor knew those telltale signs: tense shoulders coupled with a nervous biting of his lip. Watching closely, trying to gauge his reaction after reading all of them.  
“Sherlock, were you trying to test my chemistry knowledge again? You know it’s been awhile since I’ve studied all this, right?” 
Of course, Sherlock knew this. Sherlock always knew but was somehow still an oblivious idiot. My oblivious idiot, John thought affectionately. 
“Well yes but I-” a beat. Sherlock took a deep breath. “Well, it’s always you making plans for Valentine’s, and I thought, maybe I should take charge this time, with something other than Angelo’s–don’t worry, I’ve already ordered takeout for dinner, I know you love their food, John, so I still did it. But I wanted to do more for you this time. Mrs. Hudson and Rosie agreed it would help me express myself better, so I tried it out. Um-” Sherlock stopped mid sentence as John walked up to him, and put a finger over those pouty lips. 
“Sherlock, you amazing, adorable, gorgeous man, you’re so cute, you know that? And I did in fact notice your shirt–we will be making use of that later, obviously.” The detective gulped visibly. “But for the record, I want you to know that I know how much you love me, and you know how much I love you, so don’t ever feel bad about having trouble expressing it verbally; I can always tell through the small thoughtful gestures you do for me and the looks you throw my way when you think I can’t see. What you did for me today was very sweet, and it made my day–I will always cherish this memory on this Valentine’s, but I can assure you my love for you will never change no matter what, whether or not you do gestures like this for me. My love is of the same magnitude as yours to mine, and it never stops growing everyday”
Sherlock beamed, that charming crooked grin of his slowly spreading across his face, and John pulled him down for a kiss, both laughing against each other’s lips lightly as their mouths clumsily crashed together. 
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
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ddaengyoonmin · 4 years
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Faerie Realm 13.5
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Pairing: Ot7xReader; currently mainly Jungkook x reader with past Jimin x reader and future other members. ;)
Genre: fluff, angst, smut(In previous and later chapters)
Theme: Based kinda on sword art online a lot of similar ideas and themes kinda combining the idea of them trapped in the game, but the world is closer to ALFheim online
Warnings; Drunken bar argument with threats and mentions of killing. 
Word count: 1.2k
Taglist: (I definitely think I missed some of you and some usernames were changed from my last list😭  so im sorry if this is all wrong lol.  I am doing away with taglists for the most part but ill keep on for faerie realm if anyone wanted to be tagged let me know) : @taekookandyoongi @life-anime-food @i-like-puppy-mg @seesawsmin-flower @karissassirak @btsvisuals @vynia
A/N: Okay it's been months but Faerie Realm is back y'all! So let me explain myself.  Faerie Realm is my baby, and this series is FAR from done.  But, I got stumped, really bad lol  The way I ended the last chapter I honestly didn’t have a plan on where to go to transition to what I wanted to happen next, and I didn’t totally know what to do for the boss fight scene.  So, I hope we aren’t mad about this but there is a time jump happening.  
This chapter is called 13.5 because I wanted to have an explanation of what went on in our characters lives during the months that pass between chapter 13 and 14. 
Thank you to those who still send asks about Faerie Realm, and to the new readers who I see binging through the series in my notifications.  I love you all and appreciate you patiently waiting for this update of my ridiculous fic I love so much. 
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The boss battle had gone smoothly, without a hitch.  Yoongi and Namjoon’s fire attacks were extra effective against the type of creature that was in the cave, and many other groups had joined in to take it down. 
You and Hoseok were thanked and rewarded by quite a few of the other groups for your healing you’d done for their team during the attack.  Though you insisted you didn’t need to be compensated you both wound up with quite a lot more gold in your inventory than you’d started with. 
You didn’t feel like you needed to be rewarded though.  You did heal quite a few people from other teams,but there were quite a few times where you knew you could’ve been healing another team’s member, yet, you were too scared to take both your hands away from Jungkook.  Memories of the attack in the woods where you’d almost lost him running through your mind. 
After defeating the boss, a giant glowing blue portal with white flecks swirling around in circles like dye dropped into water appeared.  It sat in the back of the cave where the boss had spawned.  
The first team to go through wasn’t your own.  Jungkook had held your team back, skeptical of the newly spawned portal, saying it wouldn’t hurt to let someone else test it out first. 
Almost instantly the guinea pig team as you’d all called them, a group of all Fire Fairies, returned back the way they came.  They gave it the all clear, and upon realizing this really was the portal to level 2 the surviving players of Faerie Realm started to pour in to the next floor. 
There were those players who chose to stay back in the starting village, not many but a few.  It was mostly those who had been too scared to leave it in the first place.  
A lot of people made fun of them and many whispers and harsh words were passed around by the other players. 
“Why should we be out here risking our lives for players that aren’t going to even help.”
“You know this game has limited resources right? Certain things don’t respawn and yet here we are sending food back to the main town.” 
That sentiment tied in to an even darker one floating around the groups. 
“We should just kill the players not helping out.  All they are doing is being lazy, and taking resources we need to live.” 
Upon hearing that spoken in a bar on floor two Jungkook had stood up on his table, well drunk, but speaking clearly. 
“Say that again.” He growled, now looking down at the group of Sylphs that had been drunkenly muttering those words far too loud. 
The tallest of the men turned around to Jungkook, staring up at him unphased. 
“I said, we should get rid of all the leeches in Main Town, who sit around on their ass all day while *we* get our ass’s kicked down into the red to get us all out of here.” 
Jungkook paused for a moment. 
“You think that they wouldn’t help if they could?” He asked, “You don’t think that they wish they were out here helping.  Some of those people back there have never played an MMO in their life let alone even picked up a video game, and you expect them to be out here doing what you’re doing?” Jungkook hissed. 
“Ah bullshit, we all know your girl started out as a first time player, word gets around.  I don’t see any excuses for them not just putting in the effort like she did.” The green haired man rolled his eyes. 
Jungkook now jumped down from the table, you had gasped for a second thinking in his drunkenness he’d fall but he landed smoothly in front of the man, their chests now almost touching. 
“You think just cuz one exception happens that means anyone can just do it huh? That everyone has the resources and opportunities and people to coach them through the game? 90% of those people back in Main would die the instant they stepped foot out of the safe zone.  Those are people’s families.  People’s moms who decided to pick up the game to try out before giving it to their kid for their birthday.  So fuck you.  I’ll fight to get them out of this game.  I’ll fight to get us all out of this game.  If you’re just doing this for yourself you might as well just fly into a dragon's mouth and get fucked…” 
“Ohhhh kay.” Taehyung was now pulling Jungkook away from the fuming sylph who was now turning beet red and pursing his lips together so tightly you thought he’d pull a muscle. 
You were proud of Jungkook though, his attitude had greatly changed from when this all had first gone down.  He’d gotten less selfish, more caring, he was a hero in this game. 
You on the other hand found yourself turning opposite.  The longer you stayed in this game, the more you cared just about you and your team getting out of this alive than anything else. 
It wasn’t easy knowing how to feel.  You certainly wouldn’t go around talking about killing the townspeople of main though.  Some people in this game were just vile, not far off from the real world. 
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In the months after the boss battle that led your team to floor two, you’d grown close with all of the boys.  Your newest additions Yoongi and Hoseok had stuck around the whole time and there was no doubt this was your permanent group. 
You and Hoseok had especially grown close, being that the two of you shared the rare trait of being a water fairy you’d often get grouped together when doing raids so that you could use a series of double team healing spell moves that you’d come up with together. 
He was honestly becoming your best friend. 
Things with Jungkook had stayed the same, you loved him, and he loved you. 
Jimin and you still kept each other at an awkward distance, but the months spent every day together had certainly healed much of the strain between the two of you.  
Though Jungkook never quite fully got on board with being fond of Jimin, he was kinder to him and things had been civil. 
Namjoon and Yoongi became quick friends over similar reasons to you and Hoseok, a shared set of skills made for some great bonding moments. 
Jin you’d gotten to know better, realizing there was an extremely funny and entertaining man under the fear that he’d had for so long was one of the highlights of your time here.  
Growing closer to all of them was such an odd gift you’d gotten through this life or death game.  
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--(Snippet from chapter 14 :D) 
“Y/n?” Taehyung called out from behind the almost unreal blue veil of water separating the two of you. 
“I’m still here…” You spoke quietly.  Not quite sure how to respond to his confession. “I just don't know what to say.  Jungkook is…” 
“I know.” He cut you off.  
You couldn’t see him well, you wanted to just push through the water and run over to him, shake him, ask him why the hell he thought it was okay to say this to you now. 
“I just thought you should know.”
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rhydium · 3 years
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Info dumbo about the StarFinite story?
aright u asked for it anon GET READY [cracks knuckles] this is gonna be long so obligatory cut in 3, 2........
...1!
so the uh, the au! the story!! w/e yall wanna call it! full disclaimer, i only began working on this whole thing a while ago, but it's totally taken over my fukn brain. like, we're talking big hyperfixation hrs. am i cringe for being this invested in my own content? yes? cool i do not Care >:3€
i should also throw it out there real quick that i am kin w/ infinite, n this is actually one of my two canons (both of which are my own aus lmfao wow). i didn't go into it expecting it to be but sfsfsgdfs here we are ig!! for that reason it's got extra importance to me n this definitely contributes to the euphoria i get from it!! it's a lil odd writing ur own canon,,? but i kinda just go w/ the flow!
the au n, the story that i will start Eventually, revolves around infinite n starline (obvi) n it's honestly just ... the tl;dr is big healing momence n, what's this? uh oh sisters !!! they are falling in love 😳😳😳
uhhhh so infinite is an android, made by eggman. that's like, the most notable canon divergence here! super important context to have. i've got a whole big theory on the possibility of sega originally intending infinite to be an artificial being (which i explored in the works for my Other canon too), stemming from not only the scene in forces wherein infinite comments on sonic's "data", but a line of dialogue from tails in one of the last stages of the game where he Literally Says "so this is where eggman built infinite". that ... i mean. that contrasts w/ episode shadow pretty hard don't it?? would explain why that dlc was so rushed, n the comic too. ANYWAY adsfsfs um that's a seperate ramblepost. yeah!!!
they are also agender n use they/them (primarily) as well as he/him!! so i'll be refering to them w/ those pronouns!
after the war, infinite is taken in by the resistance n, instead of being dismantled, they're basically given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. it's agreed that they won't be reprogrammed, as despite the potential risks, it feels wrong to do so; like a violation of their free will, individuality n thinking. if infinite is to be a good person, it's not gonna be bc other ppl recreated their entire personality, it's gonna be bc it's what they themselves truly want. robot ethics idk man!! u can't tell me that sonic n co wouldn't offer this to infinite if they offered it to metal in IDW,,,, i am Standing By This!!!
it's, yknow, a bit rocky, at first. infinite has to really fight the urge to return to eggman (something they already tried once, before the resistance found them; they were cast out). it's a struggle against what they were built to do, against giving into unhealthy familiarity over facing a, while healthier, unfamiliarity. new faces, a new life, turning their back on their mission n creator, it's like, a lot.
they work for/with the sonic crew, rebuilding the world they tore down as deemed fitting justice, being closely monitored for a bit as a natural precaution. as it becomes apparent infinite truly no longer has any ambition to harm others (they don't have much ambition for anything, really), they're then granted more freedom, n start taking on more important missions!! it at least gives them something to do, keeps them occupied. they have issues with dissociation, unreality, whether they're truly a real person bc, well, android. feeling purposeless, n a lack of worth, especially. a need to prove themselves. heavy stuff. i'll kinda go into that a bit more in a sec. their work grounds them, if only temporarily.
n soooooo... IDW comic stuff happens. metal virus time. starline gets kicked out of the empire.
now, as the comics are ongoing, n as this is already an au, there's gonna be divergence, n i must admit i haven't planned out all that yet. there's a lot i have to consider!! infinite being w the resistance/restoration is a big game changer ... tho i Do believe that they were absent, likely on a far out mission during most of the chaos. eggman doesn't know abt them, nor does starline or anyone else other than the sonic crew; n some civilians that recognise them.
i'm not 100% sure of Exactly when it happens, but i think it's just after bad guys, that infinite is sent to locate n bring in starline. it doesn't prove too difficult. there's a whole, starline realising "oh fuck it's you???", some bickering n, the two don't hit it off right away. they're both kinda like. not mentally stable ddgddgdds,,,
so uh. starline ends up essentially going thru the same sorta shit as infinite. careful watch, rebuilding, all that jazz, making sure he can be trusted. he's like... very very lost, quite like infinite is. the world has kinda calmed down, in the meanwhile.
it's at this point i'm gonna go ahead n drop a bit of a ramble i subjected my friends to a while ago, to articulate the way i see the two, n their dynamic together!! i was considering making this it's own post a while ago!
analysing their characters a bit... let's look at starline. Like. so we have this, in bad guys, which SENT ME tbfh;
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i feel like it's the moment that triggers starline onto the path he is rn canonically,,, he's clearly like. rly mad n bitter. the core of this?? he wants his work n his efforts to be acknowledged.
he's big angry. still kind of in denial at this stage. he has himself obsessed w/ the idea of making eggman see him as Worthy, that if he just tries hard enough, that'll happen. he's dependent on eggman's validation, n i mean, it's no surprise; he's followed him a Long Time by the sounds of it.
then in the recent issue, hold the fuck up, bc we got, This;
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god. my god it's all comin together now homies. this???? this right here??? it is the CLASSIC "i have to do this to prove i'm strong n powerful n smart n worthy n should be respected please Give Me Acknowledgement" ..... n who else is Like That? can u see where im going w/ this?
i think most ppl are aware of infinite's character being extremely indicative of self worth/esteem issues n the need to prove themself, right?? the extreme adversity, repulsion, perhaps even fear toward the idea of being weak. the compulsion to prove otherwise, to show their strength, to become powerful, to conquer to make a point. their theme exudes this same energy as their behaviour in-game; an aggressive attitude, trying to assert themself, while if u rly listen...? the lyrics are actually really sad in places. it reeks of cover up, although composition wise, a v interesting thing to note is a lot of the more telling lyrics are prominent while some of the affirming ones are in the background. indicative of a desire to have their true feelings be heard but caught in a vicious loop?
okay okay that's yet Another different analysis. AHEM.
not to get deep on main (oh who the hell am i kidding that's the point of this entire thing) but i think starline has issues w/ his worth in a similar way to infinite. they both seem to have this need to Prove something, whether it's to others or themselves, n get caught in a toxic spiral of doing worse n worse things for Some kind of validation or acknowledgement. they'll go to really big lengths chasing that, n both of them ultimately sought validation in the wrong place n wrong way.
this is a big part of my starfinite dynamic,, n so, what happens, as they get closer n open up??? we have them BOTH realising together that they don't have to do fuck all to prove anything to anyone. they don't need to do all this to show they're strong n smart n worth something, not to anyone else OR themselves. they're enough as they are. they bond over that shared feeling that they have to do xyz, to prove themselves, n that desire to just finally be acknowledged n appreciated n help each other thru it. to help each other understand that other ppls approval, or lack thereof, doesn't define them, their strength, intelligence, and worthiness.
i feel like they have an interesting parallel between them in like... the above could be taken as a general analysis, but to go more in depth on this au specifically?? ...
starline followed eggman for presumably a long time n it no doubt left him feeling a heavy and deep regret for all that time wasted n spent on an unhealthy path. infinite kinda teaches him that what matters is what he's doing Now n also reminds him that if none of it happened, starline wouldn't have learnt a lot of the serious skills he has. n while starline still feels bad, he also realises himself that, he likely never would have crossed infinite's path if none of it happened. for that reason, he wouldn't take it back.
infinite has only been recently made, on the other hand. they haven't really existed long, yet, but so far their experiences haven't been very positive n it can be .... discouraging. starline sorta, shows infinite their limited experiences w/ the world are a very tiny fraction of what's out there, n things can absolutely change, yes, including for the better; that's the essence of life, a neverending, constant flow of change.
it's a big tale of moving on n letting go, honestly; made easier as they're doing it together. n as they heal n grow, well... these bitches gay. sfshshdgds like, ig that's putting it p bluntly but!! they start to trust each other, understand each other more. as they get to truly know who the other is, they both start developing The Feelings. they're both pretty oblivious n the reveal is totally unknown so far!! yeah, i know, bummer. i suck. boo. adafsfsds however i can say there will be lots of content in the making!! if that soothes the soul! i've got of ideas i hope to bring to life.
ofc there's still a lot of more specific things i haven't covered here so! if y'all want more juice hmu w/ more focused questions but !! this is the overview n i hope it was a decent read now that gave some uhhh! Cool Insight! yea!!! ✌
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