#but it's frustrating to watch a train wreck in real time. and it's my blog i can hate what i want 😔

[aroacehanzawa]

whats ur beef?

My favourite manga lost the plot so now i cope by being a hater 👍

#long answer is i have beef with the direction that the bsd manga has taken #it only superficially resembles the beloved mystery and character-driven detective agency story with atsushi as the main character #i'm dissatisfied with major developments like killing off fyodor and reviving him and pulling this #PSYCH his ability wasn't what you thought it was. with zero foreshadowing or buildup #because the manga has become full of marvel-movie type plot twists that serve little to no coherent narrative purpose except shock factor #it cheapens the story and it cheapens the development of characters and it cheapens the reader's experience #because we can't speculate and we can't draw connections and parallels and engage with the story on a deeper level #what connections there exist (for example between manga and anime) are shoehorned in after the popularity of the anime and #specific characters (e.g. fyodor who was shoehorned into untold origins in the anime) and mostly the characters who bring in money #i.e. fyodor and dazai and chuuya and their relationships especially soukoku. all this at the expense of characters like atsushi or #the majority of the female cast. who have been MIA for god knows how long and who were barely given frame each in the anime's finale #bsd treatment of its female characters has been subpar shounen level at best and now they're completely sidelined #as with most of the original cast and the original themes of the story. in fact i struggle to identify a coherent overarching theme #for the current arc. other than military action scifi movie go brrrr #compared to early arcs where each chapter had a meaningful message to say about the importance of living and what it means to stay alive and #keep going and why we are fighting to keep important people in our lives and to keep ourselves alive #and what it means to belong somewhere and what it means to be good or bad and how your place of belonging affects that #as a long term reader i just feel betrayed and disappointed. by how a story with complex and vibrant characters has become another #generic cashgrab shounen. and i mourn for the lost potential it had and everything the series has build up #only to have plot points abandoned at a whim. #so that's why i'm a hater now 👍 #i know a lot of my bsd mutuals are still big fans of bsd so i try not to be obnoxious about it and mainly keep it comedic #like i don't actually hate the manga. because it's so important to me. and i respect the creators of the manga and anime #but it's frustrating to watch a train wreck in real time. and it's my blog i can hate what i want 😔 #sorry if there are typos i wrote all this on mobile and can't edit the tags. i didn't wanna put any of this in the main post

[mood2you]

Blog 6 Writing, Reading, Listening and Learning

Felt alright this week, and it went by quick. Went to the pool, it was really nice, and I hope it stays open longer. Been working on Fallen Angel and Ozymanzous. The hard part about writing sometimes it getting everything to fit, plot and motivations wise. Also having a draft where you just put every snippet you think of in the order you think of it, while it's important to write stuff down when you have an idea, disorganization can be so distracting.

Playing video games less. One of my mods on Stardew broke. Listening to Pokemon Mystery Dungeon music now, frustrated there's so many games and OSTs it's hard to find the one I want.

Happy September.

I've been reading again, I'm reading "Listen to the Marriage" by John Jay Osborn and trying to take notes as if it wasn't a fictional novel. But, a novel could be just as well since it's for Fallen Angel, it can show pacing and stuff for an audience. A lot of books like this are about the person being counseled, and so will mine, but it makes the therapist look really simple, the way a middleschooler views their history teacher and can't imagine having multiple periods of classes. A lot of middleschool teachers are careful to have their classes synched exactly, I'm sure, but in small schools you will be teaching 6, 7, and 8 which means 3 completely different courses. This is what therapists do, right down to the glorified baby-sitter part, except probably 6 courses. Osborn's story only exists for an hour each week in her office, all she thinks about is the couple she's working with (whoa re unreliable narrators) and her grief for her mother. Which is probably enough to have on your plate. Locked-door stories are interesting. I also started watching this series about a seriously Freudian guy (what's the point of harping on mommy-issues, can I fix it now, can I change the past?) reacting, sorry, he's not some guy he's a therapist, reacting to Showtime's Couple Therapy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUItaloRvoQ Also a note to content creators, hyperlink your links, you will see more clicks. The problem with all my studying, of course, is, it's fake dating and fantasy, it doesn't really matter what the wizard asks, they're not going to get a straight answer, only poke holes in a silly lie. I wonder if real therapists ever get rich people just taking the piss. I think there was a fake dating couple counseling movie, but the closest to a book I've seen is The Rosie Effect, where he gets his friend to pretend to be his spouse for counseling-in-leui-of-jail because telling her about all of it would "stress her out too much" and it's a captivating train-wreck. I would tell them to renew their vows if I thought they'd just met at a bar. The problem is, if they're not taking the piss but rather lying to each other, or not listening, making up a double-life, covering up a double-life, or just are that un-intimate that they don't seem to know each other well, they will think you are an un-serious therapist who cannot help real people.

I'm having a problem with my plan to stop unhauling books that I haven't read: I'm about full-up on books, I still shop a little, and if I move soon I cannot move ALL of these things. Reblogging a post about "you don't have to be "productive" just read to enjoy your spare time" but but but. I read physical. I have a little room for this floating stack, but I don't know how to organize it. I started rereading my favorite book from last year, Woman no. 17, one of the few books I've read but kept.

I also started "Intro to Stoicastic Modeling 3rd edition" which boasts that this edition is more in-depth and less intro-y than the others, which is annoying to me because I don't know how to read textbooks and now you're telling me I should track down edition 1? Anyways, I was sort of thinking about sociology (you hear stochastic in the news when it's discussing motives for man-made violence) then I was afraid it would be that chemistry thing stoiciometry, but it's really the study of all random relationships that influence each other, it boasts it's about math, sociology, psychology, and business leadership. The first example is about cheating at flip-a-coin. If anyone has tips for reading a textbook as an adult, let me know. Probably "just pretend it's a 200 page science/technology book."

#blog #tumblr #writing #reading #listen to the marriage #john jay osborn

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Alright because clearly I haven't spammed my blog with enough posts about the Mandalorian, here are my thoughts written out.

The finale has left me very conflicted. The simple fact of the matter is there won't be a resolution to this confliction until after Season 3 premiers and I see what they're doing with it from here. It's in a very raw and tentative spot for me, because it could very easily go bad from where they left it, but upon further-further thought, I've moved beyond being largely disappointed and into more of a "I hope to God they do it right" stage.

Initially, I was thrilled with the episode. I, being mostly distant from Star Wars minus the original 6 movies (which I'm by no means obsessed with) and this show, absolutely did not call that Luke would show up--or R2, lol. Grogu's tender touch of Din's helmet, asking to see his face? Destroyed me. It was a very cathartic ending and an emotional wrecking-ball. But even in my temporary euphoria, I remember being confused as to why we didn't get to see the moment when Din and Grogu were reunited.

Then I thought about it some more, and I became...much less pleased. Why didn't Din ask to go with Grogu and Luke (or at least ask where they're going)? Why did he voluntarily give him up so easily? Why did he take off his mask in front of a room full of people and a literal stranger, thus seemingly turning away from a tenet of his Creed? I was frustrated that the narrative allowed these things to happen when the issues could have easily been avoided by having a reunion scene with Grogu and Din alone before going back to the main room and by adding a couple lines of dialogue. This left me worried that Grogu's story was over, that Din was no longer going to follow the religion he has thus far steadfastly adhered to, and that the next season would be spent having him become the reluctant ruler of Mandalore (another man-becomes-leader-against-his-will story when literally all he wanted, as he stated several times, was to save his son. And he just lost him). I felt that the show used fanservice to cover over the fact that they simply didn't have a narratively satisfying ending.

Looking at it again, not all of my issues are resolved, but I understand a bit more of why they did what they did with the story arc. In all honesty, for as much as I treasure the father-son bond between Din and Grogu, the whole plot of the show thus far has revolved around Din finding a Jedi to give Grogu to. Without that "transaction" actually occuring, the previous two seasons would have felt largely pointless. (Well, isn't the real point of the series about Din learning that Grogu is his son and that he doesn't have to give him up?) That's what I'd thought, but really, if that was the plot of the show, it should have ended after season two (with some changes to the ending). Din should've kept Grogu, and that final moment of "No, he's my kid, and he's staying with me," wouldn't leave anywhere else for things to really go, so the show could end with the "dawn of a new day" feeling of potential (where will they go from here?) and that would be curtains. It would work wonderfully as an ending, and I would have been happy with it, but we have another season (which I'm happy about). This means that the plot has to continue to move forward, and that also means honoring the plot that you've already set in motion.

Additionally, I'd like to emphasize what I've seen some people write about: ultimately, it was Grogu's choice to leave. Din refusing to let him go would be acting counter to all of what he had been trying to do--he was bound by Creed to deliver the child to one of his own kind, and that is what he did. Not only would Din refusing to let Grogu go ruin the trust they had established by denying him his choice, and also effectively invalidate the sacrifices he made on his journey (although he learned to see Grogu as his son, many of the sacrifices he made came as a direct result of attempting to fulfil his quest to deliver him to the Jedi, so refusing to do so would render those sacrifices useless to some degree), refusing to let Grogu go would also mean Din would be turning his back on his Creed. He delivered Grogu safely, and let him choose (as he chose on the Seeing Stone) to go with the Jedi.

And if Din were to go with them, there wouldn't really be much for him to do besides...stand around and watch? That's all he did when Ahsoka was working with Grogu--and that wouldn't leave any room for him to grow (nor make for an interesting show). He himself has expressed that he can't train Grogu and has always treated the situation as one that he can't participate in once he gives Grogu to the Jedi. Although they are ancient enemies, so it makes sense why he wouldn't want to just...hang around, I think it has more to do with the fact that in mentorship, you need to see your teacher as a parental figure, in a way (including in Jedi training--take Anakin and Obi Wan, for example). Din wouldn't want to be a distraction, nor would he fit in in that environment. His life wasn't nearly as fulfilling before Grogu came into it, but really, from both a character and a writing perspective, the only realistic choice is for them to part ways.

Also, it is a little short-sighted to assume that the show is only as good as the Din-Grogu bond is. We now have an opportunity to get closer to Din as an individual, which could be interesting, if they keep his character consistent. I think it would be a huge mistake not to bring Grogu back (preferably next season--maybe Ahsoka is right and he isn't good for training since he is too attached to Din? Luke delivers him at one of Din's lowest moments and we get a joyful reunion?? I would take that), but I don't think it's out of line to try to explore Din's character apart from Grogu.

In fact, it might ultimately be better. If the show can prove to us that we're not just there for the bond, but for the characters and their bonds, that's infinitely superior. And the show does need to avoid getting locked into just one thing. In branching out, it's trying to establish a stronger base for what it should build on later. It also keeps things varied, which makes them interesting.

The trouble is, where they go from here is what will determine a lot of the validity in that last statement. Changing the story entirely is a big risk, but that means the characters need to stay the same, at least largely, so that the audience feels that they are watching the same show. And some of the decisions made in the finale can go either way. When Din takes off his helmet, is he honoring his son's request, but thus putting love or emotion above his faith? Is he following his Creed by protecting his child (albeit only emotionally)? Is he turning away from his faith altogether and returning to the broken, lonely man he was before, but now without his Creed to guide him? Is he proving Bo-Katan right? Does he consider those he's with to be family (as they all just saved his child), including the Jedi stranger (because Din is giving Grogu to him, trusting him to mentor him and act as his parental figure), thus allowing him to remove his helmet by Creed? Did he not think of these things at all, and simply acted because his son is precious to him? Really, what does that decision mean for Din's character? The answer ultimately won't be known until next season. The same goes for the plot about the Darksaber. Will this end up being another reluctant-hero story (with the traits of the protagonist being reworked to fit into it), or will this be a refreshing subversion of the trope? We can't know until next year. (And don't even get me started on the "foreshadowing of Grogu as evil" stuff. We had better not see that. I don't need that angst...)

The largest source of my anxiety comes from not being able to imagine how they can work with the show from here to maintain the primary aspects of why I love it. I don't want any romance (but without Grogu, will they feel compelled to add some in?) and I don't want Din to become a typical tropey figure (but with the plot about the Darksaber being set up as it is, will they have the guts to avoid that?). Most of all, I want Din to get his son back, but to walk back that decision after only an episode or two would again make everything that came before seem rather unnecessary.

In summary, then, after oscillating wildly between conflicting emotions, I am just left to say: I can't figure out how they're going to do it, but ultimately, time spent worrying is time wasted. I have to just trust that they've got some ideas. The people in charge have proven that they know what they're doing before (Chapter 15 was excellent, for example) and although they aren't perfect, it would be premature to say it can only go downhill from here--they may well have a larger arc planned out that this proves to be an essential part of. It may well be horrible. It could be great. But for now, let's just make the most of what we have.

#the mandalorian #meta #din djarin #grogu djarin #star wars #my meta posts #this was a lot to type out so i hope it gets some notes at least #please share your thoughts! #kay can i just catch my breath for a second #quality meta seal of approval #not to hype my own post up i just put that on all meta posts so that i can find them #you are a clan of two

[duhragonball]

Yamcha if you're still doing the character meme?

I am still doing these, and I’m enjoying it, so keep ‘em coming.   Before I start, let me promote the original post, in case anyone else wants to start their own thing.  I’d link to the OP, but I guess they deleted this from their blog, probably because their notifications went nuts.

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Let’s be honest, Yamcha doesn’t get a lot of big “hero moments” in Dragon Ball.   Or Dragon Ball Z, or Dragon Ball GT, or Dragon Ball Su-- Look, you get the idea.   In most arcs, he’s the first one to get benched.   In tournaments, he always loses in the first round.   He spent the King Piccolo Saga recovering from a broken leg.    Against the Saiyans, he was the first one to die.  Against the Androids, he was nearly killed and had to sit out the rest of that arc.   In the Buu Sagas he was retired.    In a number of major storylines, he just isn’t there, because no one called him.

But he remains a fixture in the franchise anyway, because he’s always showing up for more.  Let’s take the Buu Saga as an example.   It didn’t surprise me to find out he had retired, mainly from a dramatic standpoint.    There’s a lot of new characters in the Buu arc, and it made sense for some of the older characters to step aside and make room for them.   But he’s still there, because he wants to see Goku one last time, and he wants to hang out with his friends and watch some of them kick the crap out of each other.   It was kind of sad to see him stay behind while the others rushed off to follow the Supreme Kai, but he’s retired, after all.    Also, they didn’t stop to fill him in on what was happening.    I suspect he might have tagged along if they asked.  

As it was, he still ended up getting involved, and he was with the Dragon Team right up until Super Buu cornered them on the Lookout.     And the next time we see him, he’s on the Grand Kai Planet with Krillin, and King Kai seriously considers sending them in to take on Buu in case Goku and Vegeta can’t get the job done.   

And that’s a big deal, because it even comes up in the anime.   King Kai tells them that he arranged for them to keep their bodies as a precaution, but he’s totally in favor of letting them remain on the Grand Kai Planet with all of the other honored warriors, like Goku.  So you start with this desert bandit, a highwayman without a highway, probably because he’s afraid of all the women that use the interstate.   But he gradually overcomes his fears and insecurities, never completely, but just enough to put one foot in front of the other and become a better man.    And finally he ends up receiving a place among the great heroes of old.  

So why doesn’t that get more attention?   You could make a whole epic story out of that, except it’s not Yamcha’s story.  He’s a supporting character.   So the franchise itself tends to play it down.    Even Yamcha doesn’t really take it all that seriously.   I don’t know if that’s modesty or cluelessness or Big Himbo Energy or what, but that’s why it’s so easy for everyone to write him off as a loser or a failure.   They’re overlooking the bigger picture.

The best way to illustrate this is with this TFS short that serves as an epilogue to their DBZ Abridged series.   Yamcha goes back to playing baseball for the Taitans, only to get fired, because he’s so talented that he’s literally broken the game, and no one buys tickets anymore.    But he gets a gigantic severance package, and he still goes down in history as the greatest ballplayer in history.  What always gets to me is that they have to explain to him that this is actually a win.  As his coach puts it, “you do nothing but win.”   

Like Yamcha himself, we often see him from the lens of these insane Dragon Ball adventures, where you have to have glowy hair and a hot cyborg wife to be considered a success.   But to the rest of the world, he’s a jacked up millionaire with fantastic hair, and he’s a real sweetheart.   Who couldn’t like this dude?

Why I don’t: As you may have noticed, I tend to only use this section to talk about why I disliked the characters initially.   I have to think back to 1999 when I was still having trouble keeping track of who’s who.   In particular, I found Yamcha’s presence frustrating because he looked and dressed almost exactly like Goku, but not quite, which seemed bizarre.    Later, I picked up on the context, and it didn’t bother me as much.  

Yamcha does have a bit of an overconfident streak in some situations, which might look like unfounded arrogance, but I think it’s really just his carefree nature and enthusiastic can-do spirit.   He was confident about their chances against the Saiyans, but I don’t think that was him being cocky.   He just knew they had all trained hard and he was stronger than he’d ever been.    But that’s easy for people to jump on as a reason to hate the guy.  

Future Trunks claimed that he fooled around while he was involved with Bulma, but come on.    Does anyone really buy that?    Besides, at best, that would only apply to Future Yamcha, the one who died in the other timeline.   Once Trunks changed the past, all bets were off.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I’m gonna get a little nuts here and go with TFS’s playthrough of Legacy of Goku I, where they decided to level up Yamcha and have him solo Broly.

Basically, in an RPG game like this, Wolf Fang Fist can do monster damage, so they maxed out Yamcha’s stats to wreck the game’s hidden superboss.  You have to skip to 1:40:00 or so to see the successful attempt, but I loved this video.   This is where I learned to respect the utterance of “Roga... fufuken!”  Broly probably would have respected it, too, except he died from all those hits he took.

Favorite season/movie: You know, that fight with Tien was a classic.   Not sure it’s in my top ten, but it’s on a lot of people’s lists, and I absolutely get that.

Dumb as it may sound, I enjoyed seeing Yamcha in the hospital, wrestling with his own despair as he recuperated from his broken leg.   And when he shows up at the end to congratulate Tien and accepts Tien’s apology, well, like I said, Yamcha has this great character arc, but it’s easy to overlook with everything else that goes on.

Favorite line: I forget which game it was in, maybe Budokai 3, but one of his pre-fight taunts is “Watch this, Puar!  I’m gonna win!”, which always makes me think of Puar sitting just off-camera, watching the action from a little lawn chair.  

Favorite outfit:

I may take some heat for this, but I like the Androids/Cell Saga version of Yamcha, with the short, spiky hair.  This dude’s long, luxurious rockstar ‘do is a national treasure, sure, but I dig this look more.  

Also, I consider Yamcha to be the only guy from the Turtle School who pulls off the slippers and no-blue-undershirt look.   It looks off when I see it on Krillin and Goku, but with Yamcha it just feels right. 

OTP: This guy gets shipped with a lot of people, probably because he’s one of the major characters without an established love interest.   Folks still carry a torch for Bulma, some people ship him with Tien, Frieza hit on him in FighterZ, and I’m still trying to make sense of that.   He flirts with your character in the Xenoverse games.    Years ago, I considered doing something with that, but I’ve fleshed out my OC enough to where I don’t think that fits. 

At the end of the day, I can only see Yamcha getting together with @cozymochi ‘s OC, Marzi.  

Brotp: Tien, Krillin, Goku.  Hell, I always figured Yamcha was one of the few people Vegeta could get along with to some extent.  

I mean, Tien couldn’t stand to be one the same planet as Vegeta, but Yamcha keeps coming over to have hot dogs at Bulma’s place, long after the Namekians have left.  

Head Canon: He’s Luffa’s type, don’t get me wrong.    I just don’t see any room in my fic for a whirlwind courtship.    The stars just don’t align.

Unpopular opinion: I’m not really behind this notion that they should give the humans more stuff to do in future series.   When it comes to supporting characters, sometimes they get phased out, and there’s no point in phasing them back in unless there’s a compelling story idea for them.   

I think it’s dumb how they teased Yamcha in the Tournament of Power prelude, only to leave him out of the tournament itself.    On the other hand, they put Tien on the team and barely used him, which tells me that even if they’d put Yamcha on the team, it wouldn’t have amounted to anything.   

I get it, people love these characters and want to see them used more, but I’d rather have one strong Yamcha story than a hundred non-starters.  And at this point, I think the only thing anyone can do is rely on fan-created content.    Be the change you want to see in the world.

A wish: Crap, it’s after ten pm.    I dunno, I wish Marzi was canon.  

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I feel like the character’s already been through worse than I could come up with for him.   

5 words to best describe them: Cat loves food, yeah yeah yeah.   That’s six, but who cares?

My nickname for them: Yeah, I don’t have one.

#ask duhragonball #dragon ball #yamcha #yamucha #Anonymous

[leroiloup]

「    this is a total, 100% “woe-is-me” negativity post, so be warned. I try not to post anything too personal or emotional on this blog, but the truth is, I need an outlet right now. I don’t have a personal tumblr anymore, and tbh, I don’t really want to put this on FB where all my IRL friends would see it. I’m putting this under a read more so y’all can scroll on by and not worry about it. But also, it’s here, so it ain’t a secret. If you want to watch a train wreck, read on.

» » » The moral of this story is going to be that for the next couple of days, I’m gonna be less present on the dash, and just tending to my drafts ( along with developing my OC more because he brings me joy rn ).

Wow, you clicked the Read More. Aren’t you a sick fuck ? Just kidding, you’re my kind of people. I hope your popcorn is ready. If are you continuing, I’d like to give you some disclaimers : literally none of the following is directed at any one individual or group of individuals. There is not an ounce of guilt that’s meant to be transferred. This is 100% my own bullshit as I’m dealing with me. I’m going to complain about RP, but please keep that in mind ; this is all about my own insecurities.

To start, everyone is dealing with a lot right now, let’s not have any delusions about that. Shit in general fucking blows. Personally speaking, I don’t like talking about my emotions or the things truly bothering me. I guarantee that if I ever whine about something, then there’s something much deeper that’s effecting me. As of right now, I’ve identified both : the surface issue that I’m taking my frustrations out on, and the deeper problems that’s the root of what’s going on.

So let’s start with the the deep shit, shall we ? This’ll give better insight as to why I’m struggling mentally with RP at the moment. I’m the kind of person IRL that’s a loner. I’m in my 30′s, but I’ve never had a serious relationship in my life. I don’t have a lot of friends ( but I do have a couple of really good ones ). I tend to just deal with shit on my own. I live alone, I take care of myself. And honestly, all of that is ok because there’s something magical that I have had : my career. I moved to the other side of the country at a young age by myself with one goal, and that was to edit film trailers. And goddamn it, in April 2019, I DID IT ! I mean, I’ve been in that industry since day 1, climbing the ladder, but last April, I was promoted to editor. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I still had a long way to go to prove myself, but I felt like my whole life was worth it for the place that I made it to. Well, this past March ( yes, just 2 weeks shy of my 1st year mark as an editor ) I was laid off due to COVID. Now, I’ve gotten a couple of odd editing jobs here and there, but I’m floundering. I suddenly can’t pay my bills, I can’t even buy proper groceries, but worst of all ? I just sit around all day. Alone. In my apartment. With no sense of direction or purpose. I feel like I lost a whole part of myself ; like I lost who I am as a human being. It’s this terrible, downward spiral of feeling like I don’t even exist anymore. Like who am I without the one thing I identified myself as ? Do I even matter anymore ? My friends are still working, but I’m.... not. I may not have been the pretty one, the witty one, the interesting one, or the loved one, but goddamnit, I was the independent one. I didn’t live a glamorous life, but I have a sweet apartment in a great area all by myself, and traveled, and treated myself to expensive clothing. I lived that Destiny Child’s Independent Woman life. And now ? It’s a big deal trying to decide if I can afford to buy cheese for my turkey sandwiches.

So let’s move this sob story onto the superficial, dumbass things that are bothering me. Like that’s real world shit right ? But I don’t like dwelling on real world problems. I handle it and move on. Yet my heart still hurts so I tend to focus on something less important as my excuse. Enter literally the only other thing I have going on rn RP. Man, I have the best writing partners and the best threads, let me tell you ! When I say I love my dash, I’m not just blowing smoke up y’all’s asses. I mean it. Sometimes I just sit and stare at my drafts in awe. But lately, my brain is frustrated. See, I’m not the Indie RP type. I can’t deal with a thousand different threads and interact with everyone, as much as I’d like to. My brain just doesn’t work that way. I prefer to live in my small corner and have a partner with whom our muses are deeply developed. Like full on universes with stories about different parts of their relationship’s timeline and with NPCs and fucking pinterest boards and shit. Y’all know what I’m talking about. A partner who tags me in shit because they see a post on their dash and it made them think of me. A partner who can just send my muse random asks about shit because they’re bored. A partner I can throw wild fangirly comments at in DMs at all hours of the day because something inspired me, or something made me think of our muses. You see, I had it once. On my Dean Winchester account, I met someone and our muses man... we didn’t plan that shit but they clicked and we were inseparable. It was so amazing. But I can’t write Dean anymore and even though I’m still very good friends with that mun IRL, they don’t write anymore. I feel like I’ve been chasing that high ever since, but it’s just gone.

Like, I just did that positivity night, right ? I really needed the boost and nothing helps like giving out compliments, and it worked. Believe me. I was so tickled by the responses and getting to force myself to think of wonderful things about my partners ( which is easy to do, lbr ). But a couple of people went above and beyond and sent it in as a request for someone else. God, how fucking cool ? But then my stupid brain takes over and reminds me that I don’t have a partner going out of their way like that for me. And god, what a selfish thing to think, right ? This is all good vibes, and I genuinely wanted to make other people smile, but I can’t help but have half my mind say “but what about me ?”. So lame. Especially since I never ask for help so who is even gonna know that need the pick me up ? Ugh. But I’m too chickenshit to ever send someone a meme to make them compliment me. Hell, I’m too chickenshit to like people’s posts when they ask for mains. A voice in my head is like “nah man, keep that shit for other, more qualified candidates. You have good threads, calm down.” But I dunno, sometimes I feel like I have a ton of threads, but that’s all they are ? The fillers ? Sure, it’s great writing, but it doesn’t go anywhere. It’s not meant to build anything for people, it’s just to give them something to do to pass the time while they’re building universes with their mains.

Could I be more selfish ? Like really. But that’s the thing : it’s my desolate feeling of complete lack of purpose in life bleeding into the one thing I’m trying to keep my mind distracted with. Do I hate RP ? No. Do I resent anyone on my dash ? Fuck no ! I love all of you and I’m incredibly grateful for anyone that interacts with me. But sometimes I see some magical friendships here and I just... I want that, man. I miss it. I want purpose again, in any facet of my life. I want to be excited again ; about ANYTHING. I’m tired of bobbing around like a cork on the sea of life. 

I wish I meant more.    」

#:: ᴅᴇʀʀɪᴇ̀ʀᴇ ʟᴇ ʀᴏɪ | ᴏᴏᴄ #negativity tw

[idontfindyouthatinteresting]

Death Stranding: A Love Letter

Death Stranding, we’ve been waiting for you for a long time and to be honest there were times where we thought, we’re never getting this game, it just isn’t going to happen. I had this game on pre-order for over 2 years. 2 YEARS! The expectation level was obviously very high, and from my perspective it firmly... delivers. 

WARNING - SPOILER ALERT - This is a review/breakdown by someone who’s finished the game, for people who have finished the game. You have been warned!

Death Stranding revels in it’s cinematic credentials constantly and with intense consistency. From panoramic mountainous vistas which you can control, to dazzling close ups of it’s digitally recreated stars, to just watching Sam go to his Private Room. It’s stunning and a testament to Kojima's cinematic knowledge with every shot. 

Not only does Death Stranding handle this beauty, and intricate world building and story telling with ease and grace; it’s concepts and emotional ideas (which I’ll go into more later) are translated so strongly that you can’t help but get swept up in it. This is the sort of experience that I’m used to getting from films, who embed this framework within their narratives so deeply, in a way it’s expected. Death Stranding hits you like a freight train. Through the power of the performances, the narrative and the fresh nature of the ideas it’s portraying. 

Death Stranding’s emotive credentials are set firmly in 2 scales, the more typical big stuff, saving the world, stopping the extinction, well trodden video game territory. But where it truly sets itself apart, embodied so perfectly when Sam walks away from Die-Hardman’s Inauguration speech, and sets to surprise is in how it handles what could be argued to be the smaller scale stuff. 

Sam’s emotional world is rich and powerful, from his Aphenphosmphobia to the fact that we see him openly weep and break down holding a crying child. This is a male lead in a video game, and as a woman I loved seeing Sam being so vulnerable, to the point where he’s physically naked in those shots (ssshhh, there are academic reasons too.) It’s fresh and poignant, and as a woman it gives me access to media rejecting the male gaze so completely. 

On the notion of the Male Gaze, there is some stuff to unpick about the game’s female characters, as much as I would have loved to have seen more, with some ethnic diversity also, it doesn’t subject it’s women to typical video game stereotypes. The creators of the network (whatever it’s true intentions) are all women, Amelie found the path through the country to place the terminals, with the hardware and software created by Mama and Lockne respectively. This network is recognized as the saviour of humanity, the only male input is Sam connecting the terminals with the Q-pid, a Q-pid created by Mama and Lockne. Fragile is the only character powerful enough to get Sam and all the other characters to where they need to go through her DOOMs. I think the shows opinion on Male Gaze is shown in the story, when Fragile is using Sam’s shower, and Sam moves to the glass, his intention is to see her timefall damaged skin, but Sam is punished for it by Fragile as he questions her motives, she’s aggressive and she puts him thoroughly in his place for it. I love love love the physical powerplay in this scene between them. 

Sam is reluctant, profoundly unhappy, arguably suicidal, and is convinced to do all of this purely to help save his friend. Sam is a constant reminder that there is so much more at play here, drilled home every time he flinches away or holds Lou in his hands. Although there is a world to save, it can be for nothing unless you save yourself too. Sam and Fragile’s final discussion brings this home. Before leaving to stop Amelie Sam is full of hope, but in losing Lou, he does a 180, he’s just a man getting to the next sun rise. Something I’m sure a lot of people can identify with. 

This narrative nuance is reflected in Cliff. Through the memories we’re shown a man just trying to save his child, not the world, not willing to sacrifice his child to be made into the activation code for a city, no matter the cause. He just wants to be a father and that is his driving force. Mads Mikkelsen was my gateway into this particular world, safe to say I have an intense soft spot for him. I can go on all damn day about how talented he is. He’s the best in the business, no one does what he can, no one else can give a performance that is so real and so raw but so full of fight. Mads can take the your most profound story line, otherworldly in it’s extreme, and he embeds it so firmly in the human experience, you’ll never be able to untangle that web. That is why his ability to do what he does can almost never be questioned. You let him get to the heart of your story and that is what he’ll do to it and that is why it works. Mads Mikkelsen could easily have been Higgs, based on early trailers we suspected he was Higgs, but he isn’t. Could not be further from it. 

Death Stranding’s narrative dichotomy in this way is resembled perfectly in the games two ‘Boss’ characters, Cliff and Higgs. Higgs represents the greater plan, the end of the world stuff, and Cliff the smaller scale human to human emotion. Sam must overcome both. 

Death Stranding has an even wider scope, an even wider message. Kojima hasn’t been shy about his message of connection being prominent and poignant in the current political climate, being from the UK I feel this so keenly, but the same is present in the US as well. Humanity driven further apart, through legislation, walls and boarders. You can see the potence of the message being translated through a video game, when alternate reality, video game violence and social media is being blamed for these things. It’s fighting back in a way. Death Stranding’s gameplay is full of positivity, from the signs that other players can leave you that replenish your stamina, make your BB happy, to the fact that if you knock a MULE out in water they have a neck float so they don’t drown and die. 

The lack of violence in this way and use of ‘non-lethal’ guns, which are described as such, were again refreshing. I’m not a first person shooter gamer, never have been, could not be less appealing to me if it tried. But Death Stranding doesn’t just have a gun aversion, to me it is explicitly anti-gun. Again another important message, particularly when the game is set in the US. One of my favourite moments in the whole game is Sam listening to Die-Hardman’s grovelling apology for his actions, his thoughts and his prayers, only for Sam to shove the gun Die-Hardman brought to the Beach back at him, warning him with disgust at his actions, by passing on the message, “that gun won’t work here” and walking away. I completed a video game without taking a single human life. It rejects the notion so fully and completely. You stop the extinction, save humanity, not with a gun but by hugging Amelie, reminding her about how valuable human life is, every human life. It’s not to be thrown away, you need to give it a chance to bloom.

In Death Stranding humanity is left cowering underground, separated by an invisible enemy in the form of BT’s, it has to learn to fight back, with literal blood, sweat and tears. If you couple the notion of the invisible enemy with Bring Me the Horizon’s ‘Ludens’ Lyrics:

Sticks and stones may break my bones but soon the sting will pass But names can dig so many graves, you won't know where to stand

I love this line. (BMTH wrote that song in 5 days to get it into the game in time, by the way!) As children we’re taught that names shouldn’t hurt us, but actually they do. In a time where the effects of racism, sexism, homophobia, all of this “name calling” are putting people in their actual graves, these lyrics should be heard more keenly. Political leaders put people in their graves with their words, through direct or indirect means. These words are the BTs of our world, invisible hands which destroy people.

Some of the criticisms of the game are based on elements of game play, like the deliveries you need to make, as slow and tiresome. Higgs himself addresses this asking whether you’re tired of the grind, begging for a “game over”? 

The game is not only acutely aware that perhaps trudging all over the US with vast cargo loads isn’t what you want to be doing, but it knows it’s what you need to do. And truly, in what way is that different from shooting your way through levels and scenarios to get to the end? Death Stranding makes you feel the sacrifice Sam is making and you experience that with him, every time you fall and drop your cargo, every time you stumble down a mountain side, every time you wreck your stamina bar climbing an incline. Video games can’t really make you feel what it’s like to kill an enemy soldier with an air strike, but hell it can make you feel frustrated at having to climb another mountain with a boat load of heavy gear. 

Death Stranding rejects the idea of a ‘game over’ and other video game staples in other ways, it mockingly calls Higgs and Cliffs narrative end “Boss fights” and when Deadman says that wiping Lou’s memories, her connection with Sam in order to make her work better than a piece of equipment is just a ‘do-over’ a reset, normal, Sam rejects that it’s not that simple and Norman’s performance brings that home acutely. It’s not just a game. 

From style, to message, to performance, to rejection of the Male Gaze, Death Stranding is an intense and beautiful game. It managed to hook me so thoroughly (as I’m sure you’ve been able to tell from my live tweeting/blogging) and I don’t imagine I’ll get the hook out of my heart for a while. It speaks to something higher and I love it for it.

Keep On Keeping On.

#Death Stranding #Hideo Kojima #Norman Reedus #Mads Mikkelsen #Sam Porter Bridges #Clifford Unger #mine #OPINION ALERT #long post

[imagine-loki]

Ragnarok

TITLE: Ragnarok CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 3: Reunited AUTHOR: traveling-classicist ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you take care Odin when he was homeless on Midgard (based on the deleted scene from Ragnarok). You take him in and listen his crazy stories about Asgard and Thor thinking he’s just some crazy hobo who needs help. Then one day, Thor and Loki break into your apartment looking for their father. Hela returns in your living room and insanity ensues. RATING: T

AO3 Link: Here

NOTES/WARNINGS: Wow this came out as a big Ragnarok fix-it chapter. These things happen, I suppose. Enjoy, if it’s something that you need. I know some of us feel it.

Also, head to AO3 and please, read the endnote. If you don’t use AO3, I’ll summarize here.

Someone has stolen my material (including this story and my other story, Loki’s Daughter) and every single AO3 authors material and is profiting off of it by marketing an unofficial mobile app called the Fanfic Pocket Library Archive (Unofficial) App. This thing’s been around for several years but as I’m a little new to writing, this is the first I’ve heard of it. I do this for free and receive zero (0) dollars from it. I do it for fun but it’s my intellectual property and no one deserves to make money off of it, especially without my permission.

Please, if you use this app, stop, leave a one star review, report it as inappropriate on whatever store you use (it’s on all the popular ones), and then delete it. This person is hurting fanfic authors like me and many others on this blog! I don’t (and never) encourage sending hate mail to this individual and I don’t recommend you try to contact them directly, please. I don’t know if they know that they’re hurting us but we need to make sure that this app gets taken down.

————————————————————————————————–

Several weeks had passed since Odin had come to live with Theo. They had finally settled into a workable routine. Theo was thankful she could finally work in peace for a full day without Odin bursting into her room yelling about frost giants or the helicopter he thought was an attacking dragon or whatever other mundane event triggered his dementia.

            He was content, most days, with reading in the living room. Theo had gotten him a library card and they went to the library several times a week to keep him set up with books. Theo thought about getting him involved in book clubs or other social events but thought he might need a little more time before he could be with other people again.

            He no longer spoke about the crazy doctor and he did not bring up the incident that Theo had had with him. For which, she was grateful. All in all, he was a good roommate and Theo enjoyed listening to his stories about Asgard and the battles in the Nine Realms. She was concerned by his comments about the Avenger Thor being his son, but she was not sure what to do about them.

She had asked him how long he had been in New York and he could remember being there for about four years. She assumed he had been upset and displaced during the Battle of New York, like herself and so many others had been. She thought, perhaps, this is where his fantasies about Thor and the Avengers had come from. A lot of people had had psychotic breaks after the aliens attacked. New Yorkers could come back from a lot: freak storms, floods, train wrecks, fires, terrorists, spies. But aliens and super heroes proved to be just a little too much for some.

Her attempts to get him to see a real doctor had all come up short. She did not want to force Odin to do something he did not want to do. She still wanted him to have the dignity of being his own person. He was healthy, for the most part, though she had noticed a bit of bodily weakness as of late. She had just chalked it up to the cold weather and old age. She was slowly working on his alcohol habit. He was down to only a few drinks a week now, instead of one a day. She did have to start hiding the booze in her room, though, after she caught him pinching some beer in the middle of the night one night.

She hoped that with a little more time together, he would come to trust her enough to go to a doctor to address his mental state but for now, as he wasn’t hurting himself or anyone else, she was content with him just being content. She enjoyed living with him. She didn’t feel like it was a chore to take care of him. She loved cooking for him and introducing him to new food.

She learned he had something of a sweet tooth so she kept a jar stocked with cookies or brownies or tarts or whatever recipe she could find. He even began checking out cookbooks from the library that had photos of food he thought looked good or familiar.

“Oh, these look like the apple tarts that Idunn used to make for us. Do you think you could make these? Of course, you don’t have golden apples but I’m sure you could find a decent substitute,” he would say.

“Sure! They look easy enough,” Theo would reply. “Check this one out and we’ll drop by the grocery store and pick up the ingredients.”

When they arrived back at her apartment, she unpacked the groceries. To her surprise, Odin came to her side and helped her. He took out the milk and cheese and a few other things and placed them in the refrigerator. She smiled. She’d have to remove the cereal and oatmeal he put in there later but at least he was trying to help.

He placed her cookbook on the island in the kitchen and took the rest of his books to the living room to read. She put on some coffee for him. She had found that he did enjoy a cup of coffee while he read. She set down a mug for him and he thanked her as he pulled out one of his newest books, a book about modern American politics. He went through books very quickly, so he often checked out ten or more books in a single visit. Among them this time were books about the Afghan wars, the Iraqi war, the American revolution, the Civil War, the civil rights movement, another Norse mythology book, and a book about Nordic style knitting.

She returned to the kitchen and started on the recipe for the apple tarts. She started on the dough and made up the apple and cinnamon mixture. She glanced up at Odin and caught him watching her from over the top of her book. When she caught his eye, he quickly looked down at his book again. She smiled and placed the tart crusts in to bake. When they were done, she pulled them out and added the apple mixture on the tarts. When she was finished, she put the tarts back in the oven.

“Okay, those need a little more time and then we can try them out,” Theo said.

“They already smell delightful,” Odin said.

Theo smiled. She enjoyed how happy he had been recently. It was good to see someone who had been so spiteful and angry and confused, be content and happy with life. Even though, he was still rather confused most of the time.

“Nordic Style Knitting?” Theo read, as she picked up one of Odin’s books from the pile on the coffee table.

“Knitting?” he said, taking a closer look. “I thought that said, ‘knighting’. I must be losing my sight.”

“Aw, I thought you were going to pick up a new hobby,” Theo said, a little disappointed. “Knighting? It has a picture of a woman with a knitted sweater on it looking longingly into mid-distance. How did you think this was about knights?”

“Well, you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. That’s what the librarian lady always says,” Odin said.

Theo nodded. “Well, I guess that’s true. But if there’s anything about knights in here, be sure to tell me because that would be the plot twist of the century.”

“Hmph, a king does not have time for knitting,” he said.

            “Right, well you’re not much of a King of a the Dumpsters now, are you?” Theo said, smiling.

            “Well, I suppose I’m not king anymore,” he muttered.

            “Are you happy?” she asked. He looked up at her and smiled. His eye shimmered a bit in the light.

            “Most of the time,” he said.

            She laughed. “Well, that’s the goal, isn’t it?” She leaned over the couch and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be in my room for a bit. I’ll be out when the oven beeps.”

            She walked down the hallway to her room and flopped onto her bed, playing on her phone. The apartment filled with the smell of apple tarts. It made her stomach growl in anticipation. She rolled over on her back, phone raised over her face, playing Candy Crush. She completely lost track of time and before long the timer started beeping in the kitchen.

            “What is that! Who’s there?” Odin shouted at the oven.

            The beeping and Odin’s booming voice made her jump. The phone slipped from her hands and landed like a brick on her face. “Ow,” she groaned as she slumped off her bed to get Odin away from the oven again before he started beating it with her rolling pin.

            “Odin, it’s just the timer, remember? Our tarts are done!” she said, removing the rolling pin gently from his hands. She pulled on her oven mits and pulled out the tray. Odin’s hand went straight for one, but Theo smacked it away. He recoiled holding his hand and giving her a sour look.

            “Not now, you crazy! They just came out! They’re still hot,” she said.

            He frowned at her and grumbled as he stalked to the living room and plopped down on the couch again. She smiled and shook her head. She waited for them to cool before plating a few for him and some for herself and walking into the living room to join him. She set the plate down in front of him. When she looked down at him, he had his hands on his head again like he did when he was upset and frustrated. A book was open in his lap.

            “Odin? Are you alright? What’s wrong?” she asked, setting the plate down on the table.

            “Asgard is not a place, I know that, but I have to remember,” he said, hitting his head with his palms.

            “No, no, we don’t do that, Odin,” Theo said, stopping him. “Just take a deep breath, come on.” She picked up the book from his lap. It was the Norse mythology book. He grabbed it from her and pointed to the page he was on.

            “Look, look at her, I know her,” he said, pointing to an illustration of a woman on the page. Theo read the caption, ‘The Goddess of Death, Hela’. She looked up at Odin again. He was clearly in distress.

            “It’s alright, Odin, here have a tart, remember? We were excited about these. They smell really good,” she prompted him with the plate, but he shook his head. He was really distressed if food would not bring him out of this.

            “They’ve got it all wrong. They’ve got it all wrong! Stupid Midgardians. Not you, Theo! Them!” he said, pointing at the book and fidgeting. “She’ll come back. I do not know when, but it feels soon. Very soon. She will kill me.”

            “Odin, no one is going to kill you,” Theo said, coolly, trying to keep a calm tone.

            “No, no, she will. It’s been foretold that she will,” he panted.

            “Odin, those are just stories. No one is going to kill you. Did you see that guard dog of a landlord I have downstairs? He’s not going to let anyone in that doesn’t live here. I promise, no one is going to kill you.”

            “I must speak with my sons. I must speak with them now! I must warn them immediately!” he said. “Asgard is not a place!” He pounded on his head again. “Why won’t they listen! Why can’t I remember!”

            “Odin, please, stop! Don’t hurt yourself!” Theo grabbed both his hands and held them. He stared at her. Beads of sweat had appeared on his forehead. His eye was bloodshot and glistened with welling tears. Theo sighed.

            “Listen. Let me help you. Please,” she pleaded with him, holding his hands. “Take a deep breath.”

            “Theo—”

            “Shut it! Do as I say,” she snapped.

            He sighed and took a deep breath.

            “Alright, now let it out.” He did so. “Again,” Theo said, softening her tone now that he was listening to her. She made him take several deep breaths in and out until he was calm. She held his hands so that he could not hit himself.

            “Okay, I want you to close your eye and focus on your breathing and make all the other little Odin voices stop talking in your head. Frigga too, if she’s in there,” Theo said. “Sorry, Frigga,” she added, quietly.

            “This is silly,” Odin said.

            “It’s not silly, just trust me, okay. Rule number seven, remember?” she said. He opened his eye and looked at her.

            “Fine,” he grumbled, closing his eye again.

            “Good. Sometimes this takes a while. It takes me a while sometimes so just tell me when you have them all shut up.”

            She waited for several minutes when finally, Odin said, “Alright.”

            “Okay, now let’s think about how this started. You were reading your book and you got to this page about Hela,” Theo said.

            “I know her,” he said, quickly.

            “Okay, how do you know her? Is she your friend?”

            “No, no, no, they have it all wrong here,” he said pointing to the book.

            “Alright, alright, well how do you know her? Take a deep breath and think hard about it. Don’t let any of the other voices think over you.”

            He closed his eye and scrunched his brow, clearly concentrating hard on this task.

            “She… She… is my… daughter,” he whispered. “She is my daughter.” A tear slipped from his eye. Theo looked at him, squeezing his hands. He started breathing hard. His eye flicked around and then up at Theo. “She’s my daughter and I forgot about her. I forgot about her!”

            “Oh, Odin,” she said, squeezing his hands. “Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault,” Theo said, rising up to sit next to him on the couch. She put her arm around him.

            He put his face in his hands. His body shook with silent sobs. “I’m a terrible father,” he whispered. “To all my children.”

            “Odin, I’m sure that’s not true.”

            “It is. I’ve done nothing but push them away and lock them up, punish them for who they are, for who I made them to be. They all hate me. They all think I’m mad and foolish. And I am. I’ve been blind to them.” He collapsed into his hands again.

            Theo couldn’t help her own tears at seeing him cry. She rubbed his back and squeezed his arm, trying to think of something to help him feel better. She knew that sometimes, when people broke down like this – which many of her former roommates had on this couch – it was often helpful for her just to sit with them and listen.

            “I’m sorry, Odin,” she said, softly. “I can’t imagine how hard this is for you, but the fact that you realize that you’ve made mistakes may mean that there’s still time for you to fix your relationship with your children; that you can ask for their forgiveness.”

            “You don’t understand, girl,” he said, shaking his head. “What I’ve done to Hela, to Loki…the eons of torture and brutality I’ve put them through… there is no conversation that can fix.”

            Theo was a little scared by what he was saying now. She wanted to be optimistic for him and supportive, but she had a gut feeling there was something more going on here that Odin was not telling her.

            “Well,” she said, her voice a little shaky. “We can only try. For right now, let’s just have a few tarts and try to calm down. Maybe, you can think about what you would want to say to your kids if they were here.”

            He sighed. “I would want to tell them I love them,” he said. He wiped away the tears from his face and took a tart.

Theo looked at him sympathetically. She tried not to cry herself as she took a tart too. She took a bite. She was impressed with her baking. They tasted really good, immediately improving her mood.

            “Mmm,” Odin muttered. “My sons would love these. Frigga, too. They loved Idunn’s apple tarts.”

            “Do I do them any justice? Even without the golden apples?” she said, bumping his shoulder with hers.

            “They’ll do,” he said with a little smile. He looked up at her. “Thank you, Theo.”

            “Oh, you’re welcome,” she said, standing to get a drink from the kitchen. As she walked, there was a sudden pounding on the door. “Now, who’s that?”

            She walked back towards the door, but the pounding got louder. “Hang on! I’m coming!” she said, shoving the rest of the apple tart in her mouth and swallowing it in one bite. She could hear muffled voices outside. There was a loud bang on the door that made Theo jump.

            “Hey!” she shouted. “Knock it off!”

            There was another bang and the door heaved inwards. Theo jumped back and reached for the coatrack. The door gave one last shudder before shattering into a million pieces across her entryway floor. Theo slammed against the wall beside the coatrack, as two men casually walked into her apartment: Thor, the Avenger and Loki, the alien that attacked New York. She reached into her coat pocket on the coatrack and pulled out a handgun, pointing it at Loki’s head.

            “Do not come any closer. What the hell are you doing in my house?” she shouted at them.

            “Father!” Thor said, stepping over the broken pieces of door to Odin who was standing by the coffee table.

            “Thor! My son!” Odin said, putting his hand on Thor’s cheek. “Oh, my sons! I love you!”

            Theo did not take her eyes off Loki, nor the sights of her gun. Her hand was steady, though her heart was racing. He was looking at Odin with brows raised in shock at his adoptive father’s admonition upon their arrival. He looked back at the Theo with her gun pointed at his head. He raised his hands slowly and gave her a gentle look.

            “I apologize for my brother murdering your front door,” he said, slowly. “Please, allow me to fix it.”

He waved his hand and the splinters of the door began to reform on the broken hinges. Theo felt a wriggling sensation under her foot. She looked down to see a large chunk of the door wiggling to get free as if pulled by a magnet towards its comrades. She lifted its foot and it replaced itself, making the door whole again.

            Loki stepped over to it and tested it, swinging it open and shut. “There, good as new,” he said. Theo still had the gun trained on him. He turned back to her. “Please, put that down. We’re just here for him.” He pointed to Odin with his thumb.

            “He… He was telling the truth… All this time? And I thought he was crazy…” Theo said.

            “Well, you’re probably not completely wrong. I’m pretty sure he’s crazy,” Loki said.

            Odin ran over to them and grabbed Theo’s arm, lowering her gun.

            “Theo! You’re breaking rule number five, young lady,” he scolded her. “No weapons!”

            “It’s my house. They’re my rules. And I get to break them when GIGANTIC ALIEN MEN COME TEARING DOWN MY DOOR!” she shouted, pointing at the brothers.

            “I do suppose that’s fair,” Loki said, looking at his brother.

            “No weapons?” Thor said. “What kind of house is this?”

            “Thor, don’t be rude,” Loki muttered.

            “A safe one!” Theo snapped. “Now, explain yourselves right now!”

            “My name is Thor, and this is Loki—”

            “I know damn well who you are! Why on earth would you leave your father here to become homeless? Why would you say you would come for him and then just leave him here with no way to contact you?”

            “That’s a good question,” Thor smiled at Theo. “You want to answer that one, Loki?” he growled at Loki.

            “Homeless?” Loki said. “I didn’t leave him homeless here. I left him in a home. For old people. A retirement home. Where he could play bingo and mingle with old Midgardians and tell war stories and be cared for day and night their healer nurse-doctor people or whatever.”

            “And that retirement home went out of business,” Theo said, standing on her tip toes to be eye level with him. “I guess they don’t have a mailing address for Asgard, do they!”

            “So, what, they just turned him out on the street?” Loki asked.

            “Yes! They had nowhere else to put him!”

            “What kind of place is this? Just throwing your elders out like trash?”

            “Welcome to America, sweetie. You don’t have the money to pay for yourself, you go out on the street.”

            “Thor, this is not what I intended,” Loki said, addressing his brother. “All I did was strip him of his memories so he wouldn’t rouse the Midgardians’ suspicions, but I did not do this.”

            Thor shook his head at him and rolled his eyes and turned to Odin. “I’m sorry that this happened father—”

            “No, I am sorry, to both of you,” Odin said.

            “What?” both the brothers said in unison. Loki stared at him with surprise, thinking he had heard him wrong. Odin turned his attention to him.

            “I am sorry for how I’ve treated you, Loki. For the lies I’ve told you. For blaming you, when I should have blamed myself. Your lawless nature, these storms inside you; you inherited from me. And I would never wish that on another soul,” Odin said, tears in his eyes. “You are my son. I just hope that you can forgive me now after all that I have done.”

            Loki stared at him, taken aback by his words. He had no words of his own. He looked at Thor and then to Theo. She crossed her arms, gun still in hand. He stared blankly at Odin, unsure of what to do or say or even what to think.

Thor too was in shock. He looked back and forth between his father and his brother.

            “Father, I think you broke him,” he said, chuckling a little, putting his hand on Loki’s shoulder.

            “I… I…I do not know what to say,” Loki said.

            “That’s alright,” Odin said, putting up his hand. “I don’t expect forgiveness right away. Now, Thor, I must speak with you too.”

            Thor wiped his nose with the back of his hand, trying to disguise his man-tears. Theo scoffed. Loki was still searching the room for something that could help him respond. He stepped closer to Theo while Odin spoke with Thor.

            “What’s in those tarts?” he asked, suspiciously.

            Theo turned her head slowly to glare at him, shooting daggers. “Apples,” she said, feigning hospitality. “And a bit of cinnamon and brown sugar. You’re welcome to one if you want,” she said, though a bit scornful. “And you didn’t answer my question. Why did you leave him here?”

            Loki looked uncomfortable. “It’s a long story.”

            “Start talking,” Theo said.

            “I was not expecting this apologetic Odin. He’s never been this way before. Several years ago, Asgard was dealing with an unexpected war with the dark elves. My brother abdicated his right to the throne and Odin was, well, unfit to rule after our mother died. He was willing to sacrifice every Asgardian warrior we had to defeat the elves just uphold some old family grudge. So, I did what needed to be done and removed Odin from power.”

            “Jesus,” Theo said, rolling her eyes.

            “I brought him here so he would be safe. I removed his memories with a spell so as to disguise his existence. To keep him safe not only from Midgardians but other powers in the universe that might want him dead. I wasn’t expecting them to throw him out on the street!”

            Theo shook her head, not meeting Loki’s eyes.

            “But I am grateful to you, Theo, for taking him in. Thor is too, though he may forget to say so.”

            “Mmm,” Theo grunted. “How did you even know where to find us?”

            “Pfft, that crazy second-rate magician that lives on this island too.”

            “Oh no, not him,” Theo whined, as a sparkling portal began to appear in her living room behind Loki. Doctor Strange and Wong stepped through.

            “I know, right,” Loki continued. “What a knob. He made me fall through one of his stupid portals for thirty minutes while he tried to figure out where you two were. Man’s not a sorcerer. His magic’s more suitable for children than… he’s right behind me…”

            “Hello again, Loki. Theo,” the doctor greeted them. Theo cocked the gun in her hand.

#Loki #Lover #God of Mischief #Submitted fic #submission #ragnorok #traveling-classicist #chapter 3

[mrwinterr]

Follow You

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: A song fic inspired by the song “Follow You” - Night Riots

Warnings: Fluff. Stalking? Mentions of sex and maybe masturbation (but only if that’s how you judge the actions in this story, nothing graphic). Reader is also not related to anyone in this story, just in case that question should arise in one’s mind.

A/N: This is a repost as I’m getting settled on this new blog. This was and still stands as of right now, my only Bucky Barnes fanfic. I swear the song isn’t as creepy as it sounds. It’s nonetheless a jam, so if you need music recommendation, check the band out! 

It’s not usual for the common area to be empty, especially in the morning as almost everyone in the building is an early riser. Bucky’s eyes gloss over the span of the room, not seeing any sign of his teammates, until they caught onto an image printed on the front page of today’s newspaper.

He recognizes your face on the print as part of the medical team within the building. He’s seen you a few times in passing or attending to any injuries and the occasional company events, but nothing more. He didn’t even know your name. He studied your features carefully. Your hair was all over the place, you had a small cut on your cheek, and you were clutching your left hand, which was visibly wounded. What kind of tussle did you get yourself into?

The full story revealed you helping fight off an assailant targeting his teammate Sam Wilson, who’s slowly being recognized as the new Captain America. This would explain where everyone might be. Taking place at night, you weren’t too far from the compound with Sam, but the person was clearly on a mission. It was a surprise attack. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. The appeal of the story was how a civilian was able to hold her weight against someone who was trained to and purposely cause harm. Much like the paper, Bucky was enamored by the act of bravery. He read the story over and over, stared at every photo you were in, but he wanted to know so much more. He was captivated.

I saw your face inside the newspaper You saved your brother but your hand got burned

The training room was usually empty when he visited it, except that day he found Sam sparing with you. Unfortunately, your courageous story created unwanted attention. Secret intel revealed there was a threat by the previous attacker’s organization. It changed your life. You were forced to take extra steps in precaution, so he was helping you strengthen your defensive skills. The moment Bucky stepped in and looked at you, his breath got caught in his throat.

You turned your head in his direction as Sam called out his name. Bucky stood there unmoved, eyes only trained on you, and Sam took this as an opportunity to crack a joke. Bucky slightly shook his head and mouthed a quick comeback to which earned him a laugh from you. His body loosened up at the sound of your voice and he managed to give you a small smile. He found that laugh to be one of the sweetest things he’s ever heard, and it led his mind to wonder what else he could do to be able to find out how other noises would sound like coming out of your mouth.

Your hair was wild just like a lion’s fur I wanna laugh with you and make you purr

Your image never left his mind. He finally learned your name and your role on the medical team. He saw firsthand and already had a general sense that you could take care of yourself, but the attacks opened a can of worms. It could only get worse. In fact, within a few months, the next several attempts at your own life and anyone that seemed suspicious, Bucky would be there to divert danger away from you. He took them all out. He discovered you lived alone a couple of miles away from the compound. He felt a need to keep you safe, so using his stealth techniques he commits to your routine and remembering the route to your home. He was following you.

I will follow you home Cause I know where you live You’ll never be alone Cause I know where you live

It becomes more than that for Bucky. He takes a new course in the compound ensuring that he passes by the big glass window that separates him and the medical team just to see if you’ve made it to work alright. Sometimes he lingers a little longer than usual and catches your gaze through and between every staff member walking about doing their respective jobs, each time causing him to almost lose his composure and knocking the wind out of him, like a head-on-collision. He was wrecked.

I drive by your work almost every day That big old window shows me everything I saw you look at me through the glass Your eagle vision almost made me crash

He’s almost sure you don’t notice his close eye. If you did, you don’t act any different from the first encounter with him. For all you knew, no one was threatening your life anymore and they’d forgotten all about your story. He finds you just as friendly and caring, and it all just digs deeper into him. He had progressively initiated conversation with you given the opportunity. You’ve taken on to attending any discomfort Bucky has brought by missions or his arm and in return he helps you train when you have the time or keep you company during breaks. You were perfect to him. Everything you said or did, never elicited a painful memory caused by his past.

By now he’s discovered the perfect spot across your apartment to continue his watch. One night he slipped. You had returned from a night out with friends. He could tell you were slightly intoxicated as you carelessly slipped out of your dress with the curtains still drawn open, a bad habit of yours. Bucky couldn’t bring himself to look away. He knew it was wrong and extremely invasive. His bottom lip trapped itself between his teeth as his eyes scanned your mostly naked body. You casually stretched and he could sense you letting out a sound of pleasurable relief. His gaze never tore from your figure until you finally had the sense to close your curtains. He should’ve felt great shame. He tried to hold back but he was far too gone and could only imagine how you would look and sound like reacting to him worshiping you. He was weak.

No shame, I will follow you home No shame, you’ll never be alone

Things almost fall back into routine for Bucky even with the added task of ensuring your safety. He’s suddenly frantic as you weren’t where he expects you to always be. You’re not standing at your usual post in the medical lab, your curtains don’t open again, and you’re barely seen throughout the compound. He double checks his research and doesn’t see any sign of suspicious activity or you resigning and departing from the city. The attacks have actually lessened since they’ve become futile with him in the way and you never once mentioned leaving. He inquiries about you from your colleagues, who insist they don’t know of your whereabouts. He was scared.

He thought about how he wouldn’t see you flash him that smile, the way one side of your lips slanted upwards and eyes shined, just for him. He thought about the sound of your voice, especially your laugh. It made him melt. He thought about things he wished he could have made you feel. He thought about how he wouldn’t be able to do any of that if you weren’t around. You really had a huge affect and it dawned on him. He was in love.

No shame, I believe I’m in love with you, I’m in love with you

You weren’t in danger at all. You recently took up following Bucky, observing him as he tried to observe you even in your absence. You couldn’t believe it. You didn’t when Sam told you what Bucky had been up to. He noticed his new behavior before anyone else and took it upon himself to figure out what or who changed him. He was actually relieved to find out that he wasn’t doing something self-destructive but instead he was harboring a crush and was protecting you this whole time. Granted what he was doing involved an invasion of privacy, but surprisingly you weren’t angry, and you didn’t understand why you weren’t. Any normal person would feel some sort of animosity, but you didn’t. You liked Bucky and his company. You knew of him before working in the compound but you were enthralled by Bucky since you officially met him in the training room and continued to be the more you interacted. You were hooked.

You felt bad watching Bucky pull at his hair, frustrated as he thought you were in any kind of crisis, but you couldn’t wrap your mind around how he would want to willingly go through all this trouble to keep you safe. What made you special? You were just like every other person in the world that needed to be protected by Earth’s heroes. Yet you were still here, and it was because of him. You had to make sure it wasn’t just a phase. Why did he feel the need to protect you? If he had no one to look after, would he still care? You found out a lot about Bucky by observing him. Bucky’s watch was no joke, that much you learned. It took a real toll on your body and mind. It was harder on your end because you were making sure your absence was solid, full-proof, and at first you thought who were you to believe you could successfully spy on a former assassin? Luckily, Sam aided you on that one for a while. He just didn’t know you were still following Bucky and you didn’t either the longer it played out. You were falling.

Following you home, I’ll follow you home

It was time. You couldn’t stand to watch the look of defeat on Bucky any longer. He continued to stop by your apartment, cameras revealed he was still walking through the medical floor at the compound and asking if you’d return. You knew Bucky’s routine now and when you found the right moment, you set it up. You opened your curtains, left the lights on, and the door open just in time for his next stakeout.

As expected, Bucky walks right into it. He didn’t even think much about it but the last few weeks had him on edge and he almost immediately sprang into action when he saw any sign of life. He entered your apartment and looked around to find it seemingly empty, until you closed the door behind initiating confrontation. He turns around and he looks almost paralyzed. You knew he could tell that this was it. You caught him. You knew and you let him know. You cried because no one’s ever gone through that much for you. You told him you weren’t angry and he didn’t have to worry anymore because you weren’t ever in harm’s way. Not now and not then because of him. Bucky’s not much for words but he knows, unlike any normal person, he felt no shame for what he did. He knows you weren’t ashamed of what you did either. What he was doing couldn’t have gone as long as it had, but he’d try. He did and would do everything to protect you. He knows he’s in love with you and you knew you were in love with him too.

No shame, I believe I’m in love with you, I’m in love with you

A couple of nights after the revelation, the relationship has definitely progressed, he’s no longer watching you from across your apartment building, instead he’s inside watching you. He stands frozen, eyes locked as if he’s hypnotized by you. You’re shedding your clothing one by one and slowly walking up to him, almost with a predatory gaze. Bucky doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath as you lean up and kiss him. The both of you have grown increasingly close and the idea of taking things slow fly right out of the window. Bucky knew that idea was pointless the moment he first laid eyes on you.

I like to sneak around and hold my breath I lie awake just to watch you undress

The contact breaks the hypnotic spell bound on Bucky as he quickly reacts by applying more pressure to the kiss, losing control. He helps you rid of the remainder of your clothes, running his hands up your arms, collarbone and neck until they cup your face, making sure you don’t pull away soon, afraid this will just be all a dream, and you don’t. Not even when your back hits your mattress and more skin is revealed. When his shirt came off, he didn’t feel ashamed of you seeing his scars, he never felt any shame with you.

Your bodies seemingly both on autopilot as you lose yourselves in the throes of passion. You were giving him everything he wanted. He reveled in the sounds he used to imagine would come out of you. He took pride in watching as your body moved against his and your grabby hands because it let him know you wanted him just as much and that he was the one to make you feel that good. You only ever made him feel immense and genuine happiness. He was committed to making you only feel the same and more, a lot more. He wanted to make sure you knew how much he loved you. The emotion that radiated throughout the room was something he knew he wanted to keep with him for the rest of his life. He was devoted to you.

Tip-toe to our bed like an animal You let me kiss you till I lose control

It’s late one night and he’s just outside the compound staring at the open field thinking about you. He’s hesitant at first but he’s starting to feel better about letting you go home alone. The both of you have been taking the relationship at your own pace, learning more about each other and trust. He’s about to get up and head inside when he doesn’t catch an attack on him, but it’s soon thwarted off when he notices a second movement from a few feet away. It’s you. You saved him this time. He looked at you mesmerized because at that moment you resembled the same look you wore when he first saw you in the newspaper.

The scene around you both became nothing but background noise as the rest of the team and your other colleagues gathered around. You caught up to Bucky and he welcomed you with sore but open arms. He asks why you’re out this late and you, without any shame, tell him you wanted to make sure he was ok. You followed him here, unannounced and unashamed. If he ever had any doubts to if you really loved him in return, you always reminded him how much you did. You were both prepared to follow each other forever. The look of admiration never fades from his eyes. He was always in love with you.

No shame well I believe I’m in love with you, I’m in love with you

A/N: I kind of cringe at this now, but I still want to share and keep it. Let me know what y’all think! Thank you for reading! 

#follow you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes song fic #marvel fic #marvel fanfic #song fic #bucky barnes #bucky imagine #mrwinterr writes #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes fan fiction

[exsanguisdraconis]

i don’t have a blog for this so even tho i’m supposed to be fixing this blog up and getting active i’m going to use this blog to viciously complain about HBO’s His Dark Materials. the below opinions are overwhelmingly negative so if you aren’t interested in that, don’t read it.

I just... don’t understand these writers. I feel like over the course of the five episodes we’ve had that I’ve been very laid back. My expectations were high, I’ll admit that, because I needed SOMETHING to save me from the absolute shit tornado that was The Secret Commonwealth. I needed some good HDM to lift me up from that low and I was counting on the show. Maybe that was unfair. 

To start off with some good things the show, for the most part, looks really nice. Most of the actors are really good. I was pleasantly surprised about the number of POC in the cast. The daemons, though not focused on nearly enough, still look really nice. Ruth Wilson is phenomenal in her role as Mrs. Coulter and even in the couple of scenes where I was like “why did they add this to her character” Ruth acts it out so well I’m happy to just accept it. I think this show is adding in a lot of the complexity to her character that Pullman always wanted, and given she was one of my first “older villain woman I definitely shouldn’t be in love with but am” crushes in media I’m thrilled about that.

My main problem with the show is that it’s---boring. And it’s ridiculously frustrating because it feels like you have to put effort into making it so bland and dry.

The newest episode is an absolute train wreck that lumps together all the minor issues I’ve had with the show into one big pile of shit.

First off I’ve never seen Dafne Keen in anything else. I don’t know if she’s a good actress. I know that in this, she’s really really bad. Even when they put her in emotional scenes, her inability to act like she has real human emotions sucks the life out of them. When Coram was recounting the story of his lost son in the last episode I went from being a little choked up to almost laughing with how much it just didn’t seem like Lyra gave a fuck. Her delivery is so monotone that it just zaps the feeling out of everything she touches.

Secondly what the fuck happened with Billy Costa. Or more specifically what the fuck happened with how they chose to handle the scenes with Billy. The death of Billy, the reactions of people toward him, the dialogue from Iorek, these are some of the most interesting parts of the book. But rather than having Lyra ask, get denied, and then ask Iorek to take her anyway, whisking her off into the night and encountering the witches and creeping into the fishing village where they’re met with terrified villagers... they spend several scenes with Lyra just asking people if she can go. And it’s not even heated argument or charming wit. It’s just “I want to go” and “No it’s out of the way and too dangerous.” Over and over again. 

This really hits on a big problem I have with a lot of media right now where they want to tell me something rather than show it. Usually because that’s the cheaper route of doing things. I get it. The bear is probably difficult and costly to animate... however, why have him IN the show at all if he doesn’t get to be a proper character with proper emotional building scenes. I would have much rather them cut that scene where he’s just giving exposition on bears to Lyra in favor of him telling Lyra about the witches going to war and shaming the people for not having Lyra’s bravery in dealing with Billy Costa. Because those are scenes that tell us something about Iorek the character, and that’s always going to mean more than general lore about Svalbard’s bears.

You see it doesn’t mean anything to me to hear the words “it’s dangerous” or “something is really wrong here” and then not.... see it. The scene with Billy is meant to turn your stomach. You’re supposed to think “who the fuck are these people mutilating children in this way” as Billy repeatedly clings to a dead, dried fish and vacantly asks “where’s Ratta” over and over. And something that adds to that revulsion is seeing how other people treat this small, innocent, injured child. It’s not with compassion and sadness. People are AFRAID of Billy. They don’t want to look at him or touch him. The fishermen beg for Iorek and Lyra to come and relieve them of this evil being. They have no compassion for this child, no outrage for what has been done to him. All they have is fear. 

And maybe I missed Iorek’s iconic “when I’m afraid I will master my fear” but I’ve watched the episode through twice and haven’t found HIM saying it first. So Lyra not wanting to look like a coward in front of him, and Lyra mastering her fear in favor of compassion for Billy means NOTHING. Because it wasn’t in the show. There was no scene where Lyra sees that Billy’s daemon substitute has been ripped from his dead hands and she flies into a rage at the utter disrespect of the people around her. There’s no scene where she gives him the coin with Ratta’s name scratched out in an attempt to give him that dignity and respect that was ripped from him before he died. So what did we get to replace these deeply emotional and telling scenes? Two sing-a-longs from people that can’t goddamn sing.

The thing about these scenes is they’re very straight forward, and we don’t care enough about Ma Costa or John Fa to care that they’re sad. At most they tell us “the Gyptian people are united” but we’ve already seen that. It was the FIRST thing they showed us about them. What we haven’t seen yet in this show is Lyra’s character development. Where Lyra starts to go from a pigheaded, selfish child into a more mature and compassionate person. These scenes rob the situation of deeper meaning. Because we KNOW Billy’s mom is sad, we don’t necessarily need to see it. The story isn’t about her or John Fa. The story is about Lyra, and by cutting more meaningful scenes where she deals with Billy and shows him compassion, and instead just showing her be a little sad at his grave side... it feels flat and emotionless. I didn’t feel sickened or sad for Billy.

I’ve read the books over a dozen times, and out of the series I feel like The Golden Compass/Northern Lights is the most special. It is paced well and filled to the brim with interesting characters and when things happen they happen for a reason. The show is making cheap shots at my emotions by showing a crying mother and honestly it’s bouncing off the rim.

To be clear I WANT this show to work. I felt like episode 4 was perfect. I had absolutely no complaints aside from Lin-Manuel Miranda’s painful attempt at a southern accent. I LIKE that they’re showing a bit of Will’s backstory rather than try and juggle flashbacks or exposition in season 2 (if they get a s2 and I don’t think they will unfortunately). In fact, it seems like most of the scenes they add in for themselves, most of the details they insert, actually have a lot of depth and feeling. Mrs. Coulter’s relationship with her daemon and her scenes of dialogue that hint at her self loathing is brilliant. The scene where Tony and his friend break into her home in defiance of Ma Costa and the others is exciting and emotional. 

Third and finally I just feel like this show is trying too hard to say “I’m not the movie.” First off, I don’t think The Golden Compass was a terrible movie. There are a lot of things I don’t like, but when I think of a terrible remake I think of Gerard Butler playing the Phantom of the Opera and the train wreck into a flaming pile of dumpsters that entire movie was. And I think this show is trying so hard to avoid certain lines and scenes that were in the movie that it’s killing some of the best content from the book that they could pull from. The big problems with the movie didn’t have anything to do with the dialogue or source material, but rather pacing, acting, and set design choices that were made. 

Idk. I hope we get a season 2 and I also kinda don’t care. Because if this is what they’re going to do with The Golden Compass I’m a little worried about what they’ll wind up doing with the other books in the series. And I feel bad because I genuinely like His Dark Materials, I even really enjoyed La Belle Savage. Sure the newest book was.... bad. Really bad, but at the very least the first three books of His Dark Materials deserve a really good show or movie and I feel like between some of the direction choices and Dafne’s acting (which I’m not entirely certain isn’t due to choices from the directors) in some ways this show is way, way worse than the movie ever was.

#his dark materials #spoilers #his dark materials spoilers #hdm spoilers #negativity and criticism here as an fyi

[gamerbolt1-blog]

Video Games Review - Read Dead Redemption

The PlayStation community card was created to fulfill a particular need but ended up with many more advantages. It was originally meant as a straightforward method so as to add online funds to the PlayStation GamerBolt store account without using a credit card. This was very convenient for teenagers who didn't have their very own credit cards or whose mother and father were reluctant to enter their information on-line.

The thought was so standard that now you will get PlayStation network playing cards at a wide variety of stores in addition to gaming shops that sell games and techniques. You may as well purchase them by way of on-line retailers however that, in fact, requires you to have a credit card or a PayPal account. In the United States and Canada they are so easy to find you could usually choose one up no matter what retailer is on your errand list. They're offered by huge box shops, fuel stations, gaming shops, pharmacy chains, comfort stores and even the bigger grocery chains!

PlayStation network cards are simple to redeem, too. Of course, you should join the PlayStation network, and in contrast to Xbox Reside membership is freed from charge and becoming a member of is quick and simple. One you log in, all it's a must to do it click on the "redeem" button. Social Profile here You'll then enter the 12 digit code on the card and the funds are immediately transferred to your on-line wallet! Though the card itself expires twelve months after purchase, you'll be able to maintain the funds in your pockets for so long as you want without danger of dropping it.

Previously you would need to go to a gaming retailer or retail middle to purchase a game or add-on. Then you would need to discover a place to store the discs and ensure that you had the license xbox one controller key in a safe place. Some individuals had entire shelves stuffed with CD jewel cases! With the PlayStation network card, you may fill those shelves and drawers with different useful things!

I wished to enjoy Planet Minigolf, I really did. I'm an enormous minigolf fan and I've actually enjoyed different minigolf videogames from days previous. It's unlucky that Zen Studios, the creators of Zen Pinball, chose to include a lousy camera system, wonky energy ups, and impossible hole setups to successfully destroy any fun that could possibly be had from Planet Minigolf.

First I want to deal with the digital camera system. In a minigolf sport, it's essential to have the ability to view the holes and plan your technique of attack. Planet Minigolf successfully makes this a game of trial and error.www.gamerbolt.com/ The outlet is marked only with a single flag, and the digicam never appears to maneuver intuitively when in free mode. When really placing, player's get to enjoy a host of digicam glitches. Need to see onlookers get reduce in half? Haven't any want for meaningful digital camera angles when putting? It is all here, and in spades. My favourite glitch occurs when the character freaks out, and is unable to determine which aspect of the ball to place from, ending with them repeatedly swap sides(instantly and with no animation) till they end up actually putting the ball.

The facility-up system is not something to put in writing residence about either. Most energy-ups are wildly unpredictable. Some trigger the ball to rocket within the course it's rolling (professional tip: it would end up outside the course), sprout wings (professional tip: it would end up outdoors the course), or transfer in the direction the controller is facing (professional tip: it won't go the way in which you need it to). The most unlucky aspect of these power-ups is that gamers might be forced to make use of them to complete a few of the more difficult courses. Their unpredictable nature is a really real drawback when there's solely a small margin of error to play with. Some courses are painfully arduous, many forcing players to retry repeatedly till they lastly acquire perfection.

If the ball bounces incorrectly, it is sometimes deadly, making that specific hole inconceivable to finish without being over par by someplace near 30 strokes. If the player does not beat their opponents' scores on the end of the course, they will not unlock the following tier of courses, meaning players can be restarting holes incessantly and much to their frustration.

The pause menu works arduous to make sure that gamers retry your entire course, instead of merely retrying the opening they're on. When the ball is shifting, there are alternatives to Reset the Ball, Restart the Hole, and Restart the Course. All of that are positioned underneath the Resume Recreation possibility. Once the ball stops rolling, that Reset Ball choice disappears. With a bit imagination, it is easy to see how players can end up resetting the whole course both accidentally and repeatedly. This is absolutely rage-inducing to say the least, particularly when forty minutes have been spent getting to the final gap on the toughest course.

This doesn't essentially imply Planet Minigolf is a whole train wreck. It may be genuinely fun, and it does pack some awesome trying courses reminiscent of Zen Pinball's tables. Sure the announcer appears like he is from the NHL, however that's part of the campy enjoyable. Sadly the bad digital camera and damaged power-up system will preserve this game from becoming the fun pick-up-and-social gathering title it tries to be.

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[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

[OC] Chapter 4 - The Phantom Revenge Strikes Back!

And the 4th chapter of my OCs, the Mu5keteers. You can see more about them in my blog by following this link. Anyway, big shout out to my boy @theoneandonlyspudbud for being so awesome!

ENJOY!!

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*******Scene 1: school daze (I just got this pun!)********

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The ancient Bell of Atlantica Academia's famous clock tower clanged loudly in a melodious tune, signaling the end of classes for the day. Soon afterward, a throng of students filled the quad, as some made their way toward their extracurricular clubs. Others hurried outside to spend the rest of their afternoon in the city before either returning home, or getting back to their dorms before curfew.

Among them, Lance and Bob walked leisurely through the quad.

"Maaaaan" Lance yawned, stretching his arms "you wanna hit the city? I don't want to hang out here much longer..."

"You're trying to avoid her, aren't you?" Bob smiled slyly

"Ugh! You would, too, if you were me! Every single day, I hear that annoying shrill voice-"

"Yoooohoooo! O Sir Laaaance!!" The annoying shrill voice rang out behind the two, sending shivers down Lance's spine. Lance begrudgingly turned toward the voice.

"Hi, Zilvana..." Lance sighed as he addressed the smiling Fencing club captain. Her coiling long blonde hair gleamed in the afternoon sun as a single streak of pink hair playfully curled in front of her face.

"Oh I am ever so glad to have ran into you" Zilvana tried to speak casually, failing to hide her shortness of breath "but drat it all, I must be off to attend my club duties!"

"Hmmm, yes..." Replied Lance curtly, seeing a variation of this scene replaying for almost every day since the school year started "...well, I don't want to keep y-"

"I know!" Interrupted Zilvana awkwardly, her face blushing red "how about you accompany me there? We c-can talk...um..and th-then maybe you'd consider sparring for a bit, y'know, up to you whatev."

"For the last time, Zilvana" Lance sighed irritatingly "thanks, but no, thanks! I don't want to join the fencing club. Period!"

"But why not?!" Zilvana asked in frustration, stomping her foot on the ground "is it because of what happened on Orientation Day?! I already apologized to you two about that!! And also..."

Zilvana looked around cautiously at the nearly empty quad before whispering "...I kept 'Bob's' identity a secret, just like I promised!"

"It's got nothing to do with that!" Lance irritatingly replied. "It's just...ugh...how do I put this-"

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY IT ALREADY?!" Zilvana shouted suddenly with her head down, shocking Lance and Bob. They looked toward her as she slowly raised her head, tears streaming down her puffy red cheeks.

"...you just don't like me, do you?" Zilvana blurted as she wiped her tears ineffectively with her hands and sleeves "no matter what I do, you'll always hate me!"

"N-no, that's not it" stuttered Lance, trying to avoid Bob's accusatory glance while reaching out an uncertain hand toward the crying third-year student "...Zilva-"

Suddenly, Lance felt a playful pounce onto his left shoulder as a slender arm wrapped around his left arm, and soft fingers casually grasping his own.

"Aww, you heartbreaker. You made another girl cry! How mean~"

"Yu-Yukio?!" Lance was startled by the sudden entrance of the former Motorcycle Bandit, of the now-defunct Wheely Rad Bandit team/family. She wore Atlantica Academia's uniform with the plaid skirt and long black stockings. The notches on the shoulder decorations of her jacket identifies her as a second-year student.

"Aww, you do remember me!" Yukio smiled, gently caressing the arm of the blushing Lance "I guess our kiss made an impression on you~"

"Ki-KISS?!!" Bob and Zilvana shouted in unison, before looking at each other for a second and glancing away in embarrassment, their cheeks burning red.

"Haha!" Teased Yukio "y'all Jealous?"

Yukio's satisfied smile quickly changed when a bike helmet lightly smacked her over the head. She rubbed the top of her head, letting go of Lance and looking toward her attacker.

"Owie! What the heck, Randy?!" She groaned at her brother, who was wearing a one-piece biking suit, while walking beside a red ten-speed bike.

"Quit teasing the kid, dum-dum" Randy scolded "you just stole a peck on his cheek when he wasn't looking. What are ya, his Grandma?!"

"Wow! I didn't know you two went to school here!" Lance exclaimed, trying to change the subject and avoiding the glares of Bob and Zilvana.

"Hey there, Lance!" Randy beamed an earnest smile, that's missing a few front teeth "well, she is, but I ain't. My street smarts ain't good enough to get me enrolled here. Not like mah smarty-pants sister!"

"Aw it's a darn shame, Randy!" Yukio pouted "I would've liked if we went to the same school together..."

"Now now, sis..." Randy patted Yukio's head affectionately "ain't no use hitching yer wagon to a derailed train like me. You're gonna do great things, kid! Yer the only one who can keep up with Pop when he gets all science-y on ya." Randy then turned toward Lance and the others, bragging while beaming with pride "did y'all know Yuki got'erself a full scholarship, on account of her engineering smarts?!"

Lance opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a shrill bird noise blaring from his SmartBand. His brows knit as his face took on a serious expression. He whipped the SmartBand in front of him, with the HoloOrb facing upward.

"Lance, here" he spoke clearly toward the blinking HoloOrb, which immediately glowed and a rectangular HoloScreen floated in the air at eye-level. "What's going on, Feiroz?"

The former Leader of the Love Maidens furrowed her thick eyebrows "Lancelot! We have a situation at a construction site downtown, near 4th and Bradley Street! Details are sketchy, but it looks like a Challenger Team. The rest of the team are en route, proceed with caution!"

"Understood!" The HoloScreen flickered off, while Lance took off his backpack hastily.

"Lancelot?!" Snorted Bob derisively

"You shouldn't make fun of other people's names, 'BOB'!" Lance said defensively, throwing his backpack toward his dorm mate "can you please take this back to our room with you? Sorry, but I gotta go, guys!"

He then sprinted toward the general direction of downtown, bringing the SmartBand closer to his mouth as he yelled into its microphone.

"ONE FOR ALL..."

Holographic spikes of ice sprawled across his body, covering him whole in an unintentionally comical running ice cocoon, before shattering completely as he emerged fully clothed in his Ice Musketeer outfit.

"...AND ALL FOR VICTORY!"

The Ice Musketeer switched from sprinting to summoning a patch of ice that appear slightly in front of him, allowing him to slide endlessly if he wishes it. He used his cryokinetic Psy-Q ability once more to create a huge ice ramp to clear the school main building in a single leap, accompanied by the thrilled cheers of the students watching in the quad.

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********Scene 2: Demolition ZOOne***********

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"RRRAAAGH"

A primal roar emerged from a hulking figure in the strange black outfit with a slight owl motif. Her fists curled up inside the unusual gauntlets she wore that resemble giant wrecking balls. She punched another steel beam in the almost empty construction zone with her massive fists, completely bending it out of shape and nearly tearing it out of the ground where it was firmly rooted in the foundations.

"GRAHAHAHAHA! Ja almust gutt it, Sally" a thick Scandinavian accent bellowed from behind the muscular woman, which belonged to a big-bellied, half-naked, bearded man.

"What's it to ya, Bull Dozer?" Growled Sally, flipping her neon-purple hair that's jutting out of the modified boxing headgear she wore.

"Isa nice puunch but iv ja vanna do some real damage..." Bull Dozer boasted, a strange mechanism on his back lifted his massive shoulder pads and locked them firmly in place on top of the long bullhorns attached to his hardhat. He turned toward another steel beam and knelt down, aiming the gigantic shovel-like contraption on his head. "...joo call da Bull!"

Bull Dozer's massive mechanical boots hummed softly as their light-up display glowed red, just before he thrusted his massive body with astonishing speed! He kept his head low as his tree trunk-like legs propelled him ever closer toward his helpless target. The impact was undoubtfully devastating, the steel beam completely got torn from its foundation and was sent flying to the far side of the construction zone.

"Gahahahaha! JA! I am de 'Epic', ja?" Rojoiced Bull Dozer triumphantly, patting the dirt from his thick fur loincloth.

"Bah!" Spat sally disgustingly "all you did was send it flying away. What if that was an opponent and they landed safely on their feet?"

She turned back toward the bent steel beam she punched earlier and expertly took an orthodox boxing stance. Her blue eyes grew colder as she stared down the steel beam.

"It's easy to destroy the weak." She unleashed a flurry of jabs at the steel beam, bending it in different directions with each punch.

"But it's so much fun to play with someone strong. Someone who's almost at your level, who thinks they can beat you." Her eyes lit up with chilling bloodlust as she switched up her stance and delivered explosive right-left hook combos, causing the steel beam to bend and twist in uncanny angles.

"And then mercilessly maul them in the ring" her relentless barrage became even more savage, the steel beam is practically putty between her fists! "Destroy every shred of hope, every iota of self-confidence, watch their very essence drip away with every punch that pulverizes their pretty little face..."

Suddenly, Sally stopped her murderous assault and smugly sneered at the steel beam as it stood twisted beyond recognition for a few scant seconds, before collapsing sadly to the ground.

"...and then watch them wither away right before your eyes." Sally flashed a sadistic grin as she looked at her handiwork with a perverse sense of pleasure.

"...I-I uh joost leik rooning into things and watch them fly off rully far..."

"Pathetic" snorted Sally in disappointed disgust.

"Quit yer belly-achin' and get ta smashin'!!" Growled a hairy, hunchbacked man carrying a gigantic wrench that's almost as tall as he is.

"You're sure this will get their attention, Seamus?" Asked Sally.

"Dun ya worry none, Wrecking B-owl. Nuthin' attracts a super-team more'n property damage-"

The rest of Seamus's words were drowned out by the deafening sounds of an erratic locomotive a few feet away from them. They both turned toward the source to find a thin tall girl hopping on one prosthetic peg leg, while the tip of her other peg leg extended and retracted rapidly like a mini jackhammer.

"Umm...Mr. Chang, sir?" Meekly implored the girl with the mostly shaved head, a tuft of blonde hair with red highlights just above her forehead shook violently with the vibrations from her malfunctioning leg "it's happening again..."

"Aw, fer Christ sake, Jackie..." Seamus Chang slid a hidden knob on his gigantic monkey wrench while making his way closer to the frightened girl. The side of his wrench opened up like a Swiss army knife, revealing an assortment of tools. He grasped the Phillips head screwdriver and pulled it out along with a long retractable cable attached to the end of it. Then he grabbed the erratically shaking peg leg under his arm in an attempt to stabilize it while using the screwdriver to navigate its circuitry.

"I tol' ya ta be careful with the controls, lass. These things are very sensitive." Seamus grumbled, finally able to shut off the incessant hammering. He tugged slightly on the screwdriver, and the retractable cable dragged it back into its compartment.

"S-sorry, Mr. Chang..." Jackie answered pensively.

Seamus's features softened as he extended a giant hairy hand, stroking her cheek reassuringly "Ah, it's all right, lass, it's what I'm here for. Are ya ready fer action, Jackrabbit Hammer?"

Jackie smiled enthusiastically at the mention of her superhero name and she replied confidently "You know it, Monkey Wrench!"

With a click of a button on the built-in controls in her gauntlets, the jackhammer tips of her peg legs were replaced with two powerful springs. She took a few practice hops, reaching higher and higher with each leap, before crouching low upon landing with her third hop and shooting up three stories into the air!! She pressed the buttons again at the acme of her ascent, switching back to the jackhammer tips upon her descent toward a pile of stacked cinderblocks. The thunderous impact tore through the blocks faster than a greased up hamster shooting out of a potato gun, while Jackrabbit Hammer maniacally laughed in satisfaction.

"I'm all for destroying private property of those capitalist tower tycoons" Sally sighed "but I don't know if clearing out the area was a good idea. They may have gotten here sooner if we had a few hostages-"

A whizzing whistle ripped through the air, forcing the weirdly-garbed vandals to look upward to the source of the sound. Only to be met with a good-sized ball of fire whose size keeps getting gooder and gooder with each passing second.

"Look out!!" Monkey Wrench shouted as he leapt backward to avoid the fireball, which exploded threateningly in the empty space between the criminals.

"First contact!!" Panted the low-flying Fire Musketeer "I win!!"

"Tristan, you flying butt!" Priya slid from a nearby street light and onto a stack of steel pipes with the aid of the electromagnetic soles on her boots, acting like a miniaturized maglev train. "Throwing stuff doesn't qualify as 'first contact', you dork! I was way ahead of you!"

"Be that as it may-" Tristan rebuttal was interrupted by the sloshing sound of an oily projectile that hit its target with a satisfying SPLAT. Tristan looked down at his clogged up boots, then at Monkey Wrench holding what used to be his namesake and now is a weird-looking greaseball shooting catapult, and finally looking down at the rapidly approaching ground. It all happened within the span of one second, which is why he didn't even have a chance to yell for help.

Fortunately, help was already on its way in the form of leafy vines forming a soft intertwined ball to cushion Tristan's unscheduled landing.

"Phew!" Sighed Tristan in relief, turning toward the Green Musketeer with gratitude "thanks for the save, Blossom!"

"Any time, fearless leader." Smirked Blossom, riding on a throng of sturdy green vines.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Lad!" Monkey Wrench pressed another hidden lever on the catapult, returning it to its original wrench form. "Was I supposed ta wait fer ya ta finish yer squabblin'? Too bad the Demolition ZOOne ain't so accommodating ta yer domestic nonsense. How's about you concede yer sanction to us, and we'll let ya be?"

"Blossom, watch out!" Priya shouted to warn the Green Musketeer of the 400 pounds of Scandinavian fury barreling down toward the redhead. Blossom used her Botankinesis to manipulate the vines, vaulting her into the air and over the head of the charging Bull Dozer; who crashed into the cluster of vines as they were tightening around him while Blossom landed gracefully behind him.

Priya was so captivated by Blossom's performance, that she barely noticed the huge fist charging ominously toward her face. Fortunately, the Lightning Musketeer anticipated it with cat-like senses and dodged it with even cat-ier reflexes!

"VANDERLUSS!" A chilling scream echoed through the construction site/warzone as Wrecking B-owl stared at Priya with menacing glee.

"S-Sally?!" Priya flustered "didn't recognize you in that outfit...they say black is slimming, but you're still as massive as ever..."

"YES!" Sally snarled, grabbing a steel beam and lifting it like a gigantic baseball club "spout your boastful quips! Your bravado will make your crushing defeat all the sweeter!"

Wrecking B-owl swung the steel beam in a sweeping wide arc, barely missing the ducking Tristan who was fighting the strangely agile Monkey Wrench.

"Ach! Watch where ya swingin' that thing, ya daft-EEEEEE!!" Screeched Monkey Wrench as he narrowly dodged Sally's second swing.

"I got'em, Mr. Chang!!" A cheerful shriek arose from Jackrabbit Hammer as her peg legs sprouted springs to enable her to swiftly cross the construction site in three long leaps.

Just as she was about to land the third leap, a sheet of ice formed underneath her projected landing spot. The slippery ice robbed the teenage dynamo of her equilibrium, causing her to slip and fall comically on her face.

"I got her!" Proclaimed Lance, approaching the fallen rabbit to deliver the not-really-final-but-still-quite-incapacitating-and-involves-an-ice-prison blow. But before he could even form a single icicle, Jackrabbit sprang to her feet with an impressive somersault launching over Lance's head. She switched her peg legs' configuration to the mini-jackhammers in mid-jump, crushing the icy ground as she landed. With a flick of the built-in controls in her gloves' palms, the motors on her legs came to life with a terrifying roar! She lunged at Lance, delivering a spinning flurry of kicks and somersaults in the direction of the retreating Musketeer.

"Uhhhh, I DON'T GOT HER!" Lance yelled panicking as a high-kick knocked his rapier from his hand and lightly grazed his cheek.

"LANCE!" Cried out Blossom, inadvertently loosening her Botankinetic control over the vines ensnaring Bull Dozer. The energetic Scandinavian took the chance to wiggle his way out of his leafy prison.

"Guahahaha! Worry about yooself, gurl!" Bull Dozer snapped the vines like a stick of slimjim! His mechanical boots glowed red with a menacing hum before he charged toward the distracted Blossom. Suddenly, a heavy figure crashed from the sky between Blossom and the charging Bull!

"Looks like I'm just in time for the rodeo!" The Love Musketeer girded himself for the ensuing impact, as the two giants collided violently "Blossom, go help the kid!"

"Thanks, Lee!" Blossom yelled back, allowing a cluster of sturdy vines to carry her rapidly toward the struggling Ice Musketeer and away from the brawling titans.

Nearby, the battle between Priya and her hulking rival still rages on, the Lightning Musketeer staying on the defensive as she dodges Wrecking B-owl's wild swings.

"You can't Rope-a-dope me, Vanderluss" snarled Sally ecstatically "I can do this all day! On the other hand, you're looking a bit sluggish!"

Sally swung the massive girder in a vicious low arc, sending the gravel and dust bellowing upward. When the dust settled (literally), Sally was surprised to find that Priya was nowhere to be seen!

"Up here!" Sally turned her head to see Priya perching atop the far end of the girder, the soles of her Tesla Boots stuck on the metal surface like magnets.

"I wasn't trying to tire you out" Priya smirked as she used her Fulgurkinesis to gather the static electricity in the air toward the coils on her Tesla Gauntlets, which channeled the electric current throughout its conductive lining. "I was just learning the timing of your swings so I can do ...THIS!"

Priya thrusted her left hand on the girder, sending a massive electric shock toward the unsuspecting Sally. The gigantic brute let out a short yelp as she dropped one end of the girder onto the ground, which was more a reaction of surprise than a response to pain. Priya, still magnetized to the fallen girder, took advantage of Sally's brief opening to build up the charge in her right hand, which ended up becoming almost twice as powerful as the one she unleashed from her left hand just now.

She then used her Psy-Q ability to build up a magnetic charge on the soles of her feet to do something slightly different. Priya always used the magnetic capability of her Tesla Boots like a maglev train, allowing her to simply hover and slide over most metallic objects. Now, she's building up opposite magnetic charges around the girder and herself, her Tesla Boots lighting up like a Christmas tree.

Like a flash of lightning, Priya shot up the length of the metal girder toward the unsuspecting Wrecking B-owl, who was still holding up the girder with both hands. Priya's right fist clenched low as she aimed it at Sally's face to deliver a...

"Railgun Uppercut!!"

Her fist exploded into Sally's unprotected jaw in a fury of sparks! Sally's whole body lit up with electricity as it went stiff, she then immediately fell flat on her back.

"You always did have a glass jaw..." Mumbled Priya as she rubbed her bruised knuckles.

"HA!" Heckled Tristan, as he dodged another wide swing from Monkey Wrench's monkey wrench “I thought you were too embarrassed to do attack names!"

"It was embarrassing when you said it, nerd." Priya materialized a pair of handcuffs from her SmartBand's custom teleportation app, and used them to restrain the unconscious black-clad behemoth. "When I name them, they're awesome!"

"Just keep yappin' yer fool mouth" grunted Seamus "it's anglin' for a good smackin'"

Suddenly, an 8-bit rendition of William Tell's overture blared from Tristan's SmartBand, before a holo-screen floated from the glowing HoloOrb.

"Now's not a good time, Sarah!" Cried Tristan, ducking another close swing before Priya stepped in to divert his attacker's attention.

"Well, make time!" Sarah replied impatiently "you have to get everybody out of there! The area's not safe."

Tristan somersaulted over the charging Monkey Wrench, letting Priya press on her attack, and answered Sarah as he tumbled on the ground "what do you mean it's not safe?"

"I had Theresa run a topographical and spectrographic scan of the area" Sarah leaned slightly off to the side to reveal the smiling former Love Maiden beside her on the neighboring dispatch console "and we found that the construction crew didn't dig deep enough for their foundations! There is an underground air pocket approximately 200 meters below the surface, which does not correspond to any subway or sewer tunnels"

At that moment, Tristan glanced around to account for his teammates and their opponents. The Lightning Musketeer was keeping Monkey Wrench occupied. The Love Musketeer was locking arms with Bull Dozer, neither of them budging an inch. And finally, the Green and the Ice Musketeers were fighting off Jackrabbit Hammer, who launched herself into the air, only to dive feet first into Lance with her mini-jackhammer peg legs chugging away madly.

Lance deftly dodged her attack as she sank into the soft ground that he occupied seconds ago.

"Haha! You're good, little flea!" Chuckled Jackie trying to free her peg legs from the gravely surface, only to be surprised when the ground sucked her in further! "Wa-Whoah!"

"Oh no!" Tristan shouted in panic, both members of the Mu5keteers and Demolition Zoone alike watched in fear as the ground around Jackie crumbled and the sinkhole kept getting wider and deeper.

"JACKIE!" Shouted Monkey Wrench, ignoring his fight with Priya.

"BLOSSOOOOOM!!" Yelled Priya, panicking as she saw Blossom stumble into the sinkhole while trying to rescue her opponent!

"LANCE!" Tristan cried out, running in his gunked-up boots toward his brother who struggled to hold up the weight of the two girls, before the ground crumbled underneath them.

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************Scene 3: Down the Hatch!********

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All members of both teams still above ground (and conscious) rushed toward the edge of the sinkhole-

"STOP!"

Blossom's voice bellowed from below, causing everyone to tense up and slowly look into the abyss anxiously.

"Blossom..." Priya dried her tears, looking toward Blossom while feeling partially relieved. "...you're ok..."

"Not  ...ungh... for long" Lance replied, his back pressed against the wall of the hole, as his feet are firmly planted on one of Blossom's vines portruding horizontally a considerable distance down the dark chasm.

"Lance is right, this hole could collapse at any second" she was nestled gently in an outcropping of vines as she was cradling an unconscious Jackrabbit Hammer in her arms.

"Dammit! My boots are too gunked up to fly down there to you guys!" Yelled back Tristan in frustration.

"M-my girl...how is Jackie?" Seamus trembled as he inched closer to the edge to look at his teammate with a terribly worried expression. "...please tell me she's all right...?"

Blossom gave him the most reassuring smile she can offer given the circumstances as she said "It's Mr. Chang, right? Well, she's still breathing, but I think she's concussed from one of the fallen rocks hitting her in the head. We need to get her medical attention immediately!"

"Well -unghhh- we can't have her shimmy up the wall" Lance winced "I'm doing all I can just to keep this -urrgghh- hole from collapsing on us any further."

Blossom glanced up at the partially frozen, muddy wall, as she fumbled with the controls on Jackie's gauntlets. Blossom pressed the button that she saw Jackie press earlier which retracted the jackhammer tips of the unconscious girl's peg legs and produced the industrial-strength springs she used to hop around.

"Tristan!" Shouted Blossom standing up with the comatose Jackie, getting the girl up on her springy legs and angling her body carefully "I'm going to make her hop up to you guys-"

"WAIT" Tristan shouted back "don't let her hop straight up, she needs to be launched at an..." Tristan paused, his lips moving soundlessly as he did the math in his head "...82 degrees angle- just lean forward a b- no, that's too far- yes, perfec-"

"NO, ya rube!" Seamus interrupted gruffly, trying to hide the tears in his eyes "ya need to account for wind resistance, lean her back a bit more! I'll catch her...please..."

"Ok, Mr. Chang, sir." Blossom smiled sweetly, obliging Seamus's instructions.

"Ungghh, Blossom?" Inquired Lance, straining against the steadily collapsing wall.

"Yes, sweetie?" Replied Blossom casually, readying Jackie's limp body for its flight.

"Your vines, rather -urghh- this wall, can't support the recoil from launching her up in the air. You do know that, right?"

"We don't have any other choice" Blossom answered resolutely "she needs to be looked after right away."

"I think I heard some of these -unghh- fallen rocks hit water down there. If we fall, actually when we fall..."

"Yes, I heard them, too."

Lance looked at Blossom with determination "...do you trust me?"

"Always."

Blossom smiled as she made the springs on Jackie's legs coil tightly, before they unfurled upward, launching Jackie's unconscious body at the agreed upon angle into the arms of the relieved Seamus. As predicted, the recoil from the jump tore the vines viciously from its roots on the wall, bringing a good chunk of half frozen earth tumbling down.

In the mess of tangled leaves, clay, and ice, the two Musketeers were free-falling down toward the abyss. Lance dove quickly like a bird of prey toward the fallen Blossom. He embraced her tightly as they fell into the nearly-bottomless pit!

"LANCE!!"

"BLOSSOOOoOM!!"

The cries of the panicked Musketeers aboveground barely reached their two fallen comrades as the hole started expanding and collapsing in on itself.

"Hold your horses!" Leopold yelled anxiously, firmly restraining his two friends from getting closer to the dangerous abyss "you'll fall in, too!"

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*************Scene 4: The Hole***************

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"Ok, Blossom" Lance was closing his eyes in deep concentration, letting his Cryokinesis reach the mystery body of water far below- hopefully faster than their bodies would physically reach it "Get ready..."

Lance somersaulted in mid-air with Blossom in tow, making himself stand upright while princess-carrying the Green Musketeer. Suddenly, a spiral of ice sprang from the dark depth of the pit, connecting perfectly with Lance's feet.

"...hold on tight!" Blossom obliged, grasping her arms around his neck closely. Lance's eyes glowed a faint blue as they widened in gleeful terror. The downward spiral they were sliding on gradually slowed down their insanely fast descent. After several dozen spirals, they were finally at a leisurely speed where they gently skidded to a peaceful stop, barely causing the water at their feet to ripple upon their intrusion.

Nonetheless, the tension and strain from this harrowing ordeal brought Lance to his knees as he groaned with exhaustion and relief. Blossom, who landed gracefully on her feet, knelt down beside Lance while tenderly caressing his cheek.

"You did it, champ!" Blossom said affectionately.

"Y-yeah..." Lance mumbled, his cheeks blushing, as he gently patted her hand away. He stood up and looked up at the far dim light up above. "...we're a long way down..."

A distant creaking sound emanated from the ceiling, just before a handful of dirt floated down to the waters below.

"It's not safe to stand here" Blossom commented, using the Lantern App on her SmartBand to look around.

Lance wiped some of the fallen dirt off his hat, only to halt his hand while touching the blue feather adorning it. He took off his hat to have a closer look.

"Blossom?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"There's an air current here, see?" He pointed the feather gently wafting to a faint breeze "there must be another exit somewhere..."

"KZZzzshhhtt..you guys-kzzhhtt-ear me?"

The garbled voice emanating from the glowing HoloOrbs on their SmartBands startled the two Musketeers. Blossom hurriedly answered back "Tristan? Is that you?!"

"BLO-Kzzsshhhtt-ooomm!! Ar-krsssshhhh-ou Okay?!"

Blossom sighed upon hearing Priya's panicked voice "Calm down, Pri! We're all right."

"But this hole does not look safe" added Lance grimly "it could collapse at any minute. We can't risk climbing out the way we came. We have to find another way out..."

"Where wo-krrssshhtt-ind another-rsshhkkzz-ay out?!"

"Leopold, there's a faint breeze in this tunnel coming from the opposite direction of the hole" Blossom replied "we're bound to find another way out if we follow it."

"NO! It-skkshhhh-dangerous! W-whoaa-ksshhhhhSZZZzz!"

"Tristan? You ok, bro?" Lance asked worriedly. He was alerted to the noise up from the ceiling as Blossom dragged him out of the way of more falling debris.

In a few seconds, the shaft they occupied earlier was completely blocked up with mud and rocks, as the two Musketeers caught their breath in a nearby tunnel.

"Well..." Blossom cleared her throat as she stood up straight and looked toward the far end of the tunnel with the aid of her SmartBand's lantern App. "I guess we better mosey on, yeah?"

***************************************************

**********Scene 5: The Underworld**********

***************************************************

The two colourful figures roamed uncertainly through the drab and damp structures underground. The cavernous and drafty path they were walking through is not really a tunnel so much as a geometrical nightmare of collapsed buildings and concrete structures.

Lance managed to stammer an inquisitive "wh-what are those buildings?"

Blossom did not break her stride as she replied "there were many floods during the Apocalypse, many of which were strong enough to destroy numerous coastal cities lining the Atlantic."

Blossom then touched the HoloOrb on her SmartBand which caused the Lantern App's light to condense into a spotlight. The focused beam of light swiveled between the different monuments and mangled street signs, all of them belonging to various countries that bordered the Atlantic Ocean.

"The debris from across the world..." Blossom continued solemnly “...the tides pulled all of those broken pieces into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. When the Arachnae landed on Earth over a thousand years ago, they decided to build Atlantica city on top of the wreckage."

"That doesn't sound very safe..." Chimed in Lance, while looking around in the dark.

"It wasn't..." smiled Blossom "...sinkholes like the one we fell through were quite common in the early days of building the city. But eventually, they were able to stabilize the foundation to a reliable degree."

"Wow" said Lance "you sure know a lot about this stuff..."

Blossom sighed and replied "...it's kinda hard to ignore history..." She turned her spotlight toward a fallen skyscraper that may have once been a grand hotel. The light shone brightly on the mostly rusted sign with the Stylized 'E' in the logo of the 'Everglades Towers' emblazoned on it "...especially when your name keeps popping up whenever there's mentions of corruption, greed, and total disregard for basic human decency..."

"Blossom..." Lance reached out a hesitant hand towards his teammate's shoulder, only to freeze midway as his eyes see a peculiar movement "...we're not alone here..."

The ominous words hung heavily in the air between them as they both became keenly aware of a distorted space just hovering in front of the stylized 'E' on the rusted sign in front of them.

"Oh no..." Lance muttered fearfully, slowly unleashing his rapier "...not this guy again"

An impossibly white hand burst from the distorted space. The rest of the pale body followed through the distortion and floated eerily in front of them.

"So..." Blossom stood defiant and upright, taking a measure of the apparition "...that's the Phantom Musketeer?"

To say that the Phantom was glowing would be inaccurate, its body simply did not allow for a single shadow to lay its dark tendrils upon its pale form. Even in the dark depths of the underworld, the white ghostly figure was clearly visible.

Blossom took out her wooden rapier from its sheath and said "... I thought it'd be taller."

***************************************************

*****Scene 6: The Menacing Phantom******

***************************************************

Lights from the Musketeers' HoloOrbs danced wildly in the dank underground, accompanied by the distorted clangs of metal-and-wood-on-warped-dark-matter. Blossom and Lance tried to surround the Phantom, flanking it from both sides, but it was more than capable of warding them off - even overpowering them a little. The Green Musketeer took advantage of a slim opening to deliver a deadly thrust, but it was anticipated by the ghostly figure as it evaded it deftly before bringing its blackened blade down on the leafy rapier. Blossom rapier's blade broke off cleanly in the attack and she stumbled to the ground due to her unspent momentum.

"BLOSSOM!!" Lance screamed in a panic, a thick wall of ice erected itself between Blossom and their attacker.

"Lance, no!" Blossom shouted after her young friend, a twinge of anger and frustration laced her words. From beyond the wall, she can hear the distorted sounds of swords clashing and the desperate grunts from Lance.

She reached for a grenade pellet from one of the pouches of her belt, which was a bigger version of the pellets that she normally shoots from her sword's firing mechanism hidden in the hilt. She threw the grenade onto the ground, shattering it upon impact, prompting a rapidly growing cluster of huge vines! Each one was as thick as a tree trunk.

"Dammit, boy..." Blossom muttered to herself, her angry eyes smouldered with a faint green glow, as she directed the leafy tendrils with her hands to demolish the icy wall! Lance stared in awe as the vines continued their undaunting charge by slamming the Phantom and carrying it along several feet into the air, before smashing into the ruins of a toppled skyscraper.

"Whoah..." Lance exclaimed before being jerked to his feet as Blossom grabbed him roughly by the collar "B-Blossom...?!!"

"What the hell was that?!" Blossom's brow knit angrily as she spat out those words "that was stupid and reckless!"

"I-I just..." Lance stumbled on his words trying to avoid Blossom's enraged stare "...I was just keeping a p-promise..."

"A PROMISE?!" Blossom suddenly released Lance's collar from her grip, causing him to stumble and fall on his butt "what kind of promise makes you risk your life like that...and for what?! You think it's your job to rescue me or something?"

"B-Blossom" Lance stuttered nervously, slowly getting up and patting the dirt from his outfit "that's not what-"

"I don't need to be rescued!" Blossom interrupted forcefully "I know what you're doing! You're trying to be like him, but you can't! Stop trying to copy Armand, you'll never be like him-"

Blossom stopped herself in mid-sentence, her angered expression quickly changed to one of guilt and regret.

"Oh no...Lance...I didn't mean... I-I'm sorry" Blossom covered her face, backing away slowly, before turning around and running down one of the tunnels at full speed.

"Blossom! Wait!" Lance hastily ran after her.

***************************************************

***********Scene 7: Big shoes to fill***********

***************************************************

A pair of green boots stamped through ankle-deep waters covering the darkened tunnels through the underground ruins. Followed closely by a similar pair of blue boots of someone much shorter.

"Blossom" Lance panted behind the Green Musketeer, who was sprinting a few feet in front of him "w-wait up...huff..."

Blossom ignored him as she ran ahead, which prompted Lance to call out to her apologetically "look, I'm sorry! I don't know what I did that upset you...huff puff...so much...but I'm sorry!"

Blossom reached the end of the tunnel that opened up toward a wide open cavern where pipes and various tunnels protruded from all over the concrete and steel makeshift walls, spilling their liquid content in the center where a huge pool of water-like substance sort of rested at the bottom.

Noticing the precipitous drop, Blossom turned around toward the rushing Lance. As he got closer, Lance noticed Blossom's watery red eyes that looked toward him with great sorrow and shame.

"Lance, I-" her words were drowned out by a creaking sound from below her feet, as the ground groaned under her weight and finally gave out with an awful shrieking noise, dragging Blossom downward and out of Lance's sight.

"BLOSSOM!" Lance's panicked shout almost rivaled the cacophonous sounds of the fallen debris, as he sped toward the edge to look for his teammate.

"Stay back!" Blossom called out, hanging on to a protruding pipe with one hand, while her other arm dangled limply by her side.

"What's wrong with your arm?" Lance climbed carefully down the side of the cliff toward Blossom.

"I-I think it got dislocated when I fell. I can't pull myself up..." Blossom winced in pain "I told you to stay back! You'll fall, too"

"No, I won't" Lance's boots froze to the side of the cliff "I told you, I made a promise-"

Blossom's eyes widened in rage as she interrupted him "What kind of promise forces you to risk your life like an idiot?!"

In her outburst, the damp pipe in her hand started to slip away and she lost her grip on it. Lance shot his hand toward hers and grasped her arm firmly.

"The promise I made..." Lance strained as he held on to Blossom's arm “...is the same one you made! I made this promise to you, to Tristan, to Priya and Leopold!! I MADE A PROMISE TO ANYONE IN DANGER!"

"L-Lance...?"

"One for All..." Lance grunted, every muscle in his body tensed and coiled desperately "...AND ALL FOR VICTORRRRRYYY!!"

Lance used every ounce of his strength to pull Blossom to safety, the ice on his boots becoming thicker and spike-ier. With the Green Musketeer sitting safely in the half-collapsed tunnel, Lance slowly melted the ice anchoring him the Cliffside before pulling himself up as well. They both sat in the relative horizontal safety of the tunnel as they panted from relief and exertion.

Eventually, Lance broke the silence, looking at Blossom wistfully "I know I'll never be Armand...he's...he's someone I look up to and respect a whole lot... His are big shoes to fill..."

"...Lance..."

"But I don't want to wear his shoes! I am my own Mu5keteer! I will proudly walk in his footsteps, but at my own pace..."

"Heh..." Blossom managed to smile bitterly "you think you could squeeze in a few more walking metaphors in there?"

"Ha...I guess I've been thinking about it a lot...metaphors help me put painful things in perspective..."

"Hey, speaking of pain..." Blossom grabbed her limp arm with her functioning one, and with one sharp motion she shoved her arm back in its socket. Her shrill scream of pain lasted all of two seconds, but it packed so much agony in it.

"Oh Lord!" Lance exclaimed in shock, drawing closer toward the wincing Blossom "are you ok?!"

"M'fine..." Whimpered Blossom sheepishly, while ineffectually rubbing her recently un-dislocated shoulder.

"Kzzssshht~an you hear me~shhzzztt"

Lance and Blossom perked up upon hearing the familiar, yet static-laden, voice of Tristan coming through their SmartBands. They quickly raised the HoloOrb closer in order to hear the garbled words more clearly.

"Tristan!" Lance exclaimed "we must be close to the surface."

Blossom craned her head to look up at the ceiling of the cavern where they almost fell earlier. The ceiling was a tangled mess of girders and concrete that - just barely - allowed a dim light to trickle in from above.

"I have an idea." Smiled Blossom as she fiddled with the capsule-shooter at the hilt of her broken rapier, selecting a specific capsule containing one of her patented mutated Edan plant strains. She then aimed the firing mechanism downward toward the pool of liquid and fired of a capsule.

"I hope that's mostly water down there..."

***************************************************

**************Scene 8: Rosethorn*************

***************************************************

Lance and Blossom watched as a single, thick vine rose steadily from the waters below, thanks to Blossom's Psy-Q ability of Botankinesis. The Green Musketeer concentrated on the mutated plant below, her eyes glowing a faint emerald hue.

"Ok, get on" Blossom said as the top of the vine made its way closer to their perch on the cliff's side. It then curled up, accommodating a mostly flat surface for the two Musketeers to stand on safely.

"Now, just like what we did with the Big Bandit a few months ago" Blossom turned her head toward Lance and smiled gently "I need you to slightly freeze the water in the vine, and use your powers to stabilize it for me."

Blossom then lifted her hands dramatically, in an effort to gather concentration for her powers "I'll focus on directing it upward."

"Aye aye, cap'n!" Lance cheerfully answered as he lifted his head up toward the dim light, his eyes glowing a soft blue. Alas, his happy-go-lucky demeanor evaporated once he spotted an uncomfortably familiar ripple in the space just above them.

"Uhh...Blossom..." Lance whispered nervously, a primal fear response urging him to flee just as pure determination roots him steadfastly on the leafy green platform.

"I see it" Blossom pulled out her broken rapier from its sheath and stopped the plant from rising any further "whatever happens, I need you to keep this platform stabilized. I will deal with the Phantom."

"But, you don't -"

"Listen, before we fell in, you asked me if I trusted you." Blossom interrupted resolutely, taking her eyes off of the slowly emerging Phantom Musketeer and smiled at Lance reassuringly "now I'm asking you: do you trust me?"

Lance smiled confidently back at her and answered "always."

His smile wavered a bit as his gaze floated down toward what's left of Blossom's wooden rapier. Upon noticing his concern, Blossom chuckled bravely "haha, don't worry about it. As long as I have water..."

Blossom abruptly bent down on one knee, and in one swift movement, she stabbed the engorged vine at her feet with her broken blade. At the same time, the Phantom Musketeer floated down menacingly, his dark blade shimmer and distort the space around it madly.

"...I am never unarmed!" With another swift movement, Blossom pulled out her newly regrown blade from its wet, makeshift sheath as she blocks the Phantom's strike!

"Whoah!" Lance looked dumbfounded at the miraculously repaired blade, its edge looked even sharper than before.

"Heh, you liked that?" Blossom smirked as she expertly parried the Phantom's furious attacks "well, you're gonna love this!"

With that, Blossom's eyes flared with green fire as the rosebud decoration on the hilt of her rapier bloomed majestically. It caused the leaf-like crossguard to expand outward, the sword's handle elongated far beyond the grip size for a one-handed weapon, and the blade itself thickened and grew even longer.

Lance looked in awe as he witnessed, right before his eyes, how Blossom's wooden rapier transformed into a fearsome Zweihander, its dark mahogany blade shimmered in the dim light.

"Say hello to Rosethorn, the Everlasting Blade..." Blossom balanced the long blade in her hands and lifted it skyward "...there's nothing that she can't cut!!"

With a dramatic flourish, Blossom brought down the gigantic sword down on the Phantom Musketeer, who lifted his blade in an attempt to impede it. However, unlike their previous encounter, Rosethorn was not in the mood for any nonsense from the shifty distorted mess standing between her and the juicy, might-be-flesh of her target. Rosethorn seemed to grow bigger and stronger as Blossom's eyes glowed a brighter shade of green.

With a sound like glass breaking running through a distorted synthesizer, the ebony blade of the Phantom Musketeer cracked for a split second, before shattering in all directions like confetti! Rosethorn merrily completed her devastating arc to slash across the Phantom's chest. Instead of blood spurting from its wound, inky black tendrils sprang out eerily, accompanied by an unearthly silent screech that almost shattered the two Musketeers' eardrums.

Lance and Blossom were conflicted whether to plug up their ears to stop the noise, or to cup their hands over them to listen to it better. It was like the absence of sound made it even more deafening.

The Phantom convulsed violently, as shadows crept along its body, making his features more defined. Blossom's eyes widened in shock, staring intently while the shadows roughly sketch an anguished expression on the blank canvas of a face in front of them. The long nose, high cheekbones, and pointed chin were all too familiar to the two Musketeers; but it was Blossom who tried to reach closer with her trembling hand in disbelief.

Suddenly, a low rumbling like a distant locomotive could be hear from above. Lance looked up - while Blossom was still entranced by the Phantom's appearance - only to find the tip of two miniaturized Jackhammers pierce through the ceiling. Debris fell gently beside them as a ray of warm sunlight gently wafted through, illuminating the whole cavern below.

Blossom and Lance winced, their eyes adjusting to the harsh light, and was surprised to see the Phantom vanishing before their very eyes! They looked around incredulously, and then at each other. Blossom finally spoke, tears welling up in her eyes as her knees fell to the ground "that...that was Armand's face...wasn't it...?"

Lance hurried over and kneeled down besides her, holding her shoulders gently "I...I don't know what we saw...but we'll figure it out..."

Lance then hugged her closely, hearing her softly sob on his shoulder, before continuing "...it's what we do, after all..."

"Hahaha! There they are!" The cheerful cackle from above prompted the two Musketeer to look up toward a smiling Jackrabbit Hammer with a bandaged head while she was being lowered in a harness. "My heroes!"

"BLOSSOOOM!!" Shouted Priya, trying to dry her tears ineffectively "you're all right! Thank goodness!"

"I'm so happy you're safe" Tristan smiled wearily "not that I had any doubts, mind you..."

Leopold put a reassuring hand on both Priya's and Tristan's shoulders and just smiled silently, while watching the two prodigal Musketeers are hoisted out of the darkness of the ruins and into the light of a new dawn.

***************************************************

*********************Epilogue*******************

***************************************************

"Yes? Sorry, there's no training for today."

Zilvana called out upon hearing the soft sound of the gym door slowly opening.

"Oh, sorry...I'll come back tomo-"

"Oh, L-Lance!" Zilvana whirled toward the familiar voice "I-I didn't know it was you! Please, do come in."

Lance sheepishly entered the gymnasium and closed the door gently behind him. Zilvana looked on with great concern as she inquired worriedly "Goodness gracious! You're all bandaged up!"

Lance absentmindedly scratched at the bandages on his arms, before stopping to stroke the little tuft of hair that managed to peek out from the bandages. He nervously managed to squeak out a reply "Y-yeah, it was one crazy weekend...but listen, that's not why I'm here..."

"Then why are you here?" Zilvana asked sternly, memories of their last encounter still left hanging in the air between them.

"Zilvana...there's something I need to explain to you..." Lance said pensively "...after I became the Ice Musketeer, I began to feel that all eyes are on me... I felt like I'm always being compared to...him..."

"Lance..." Zilvana softly mumbled "...you know that's not true..."

“Of course, I do!” Lance snapped, only to apologetically add “…sorry…I do know that…but the feeling just made me defensive…I wanted to distance myself from Armand any way I can…”

Lance then looked toward Zilvana with a remorseful expression “…which included being in the fencing club…but I was wrong to use my hang up to be so rude to you…”

“Lance, you were not rude to refuse my invitation…” Zilvana replied regretfully “…I shouldn’t have pushed after you have said no…I was just…I was so impressed by how skilled you were! I felt it was a waste NOT to be in the club…”

"To be honest, I was a flattered..." Lance interjected "...I didn't have a fencing club in middle school, so I never experienced someone wanting me to join one so badly."

"Hey, now...I wasn't THAT desperate!"

"The point is..." Lance smiled "...I have to give it a chance...but...I don't think I'm ready to dive deep into the club..."

Lance looked at the excited Zilvana before continuing "...do you think we can start with a few sparring matches here and there?"

"EeEeeeeeeeee!" Zilvana squealed with glee while jumping up and down "that's all I ever wanted! Here!" She then threw some of the fencing gear lying on the ground toward Lance.

"What? Now?!"

"Oh, like you've got anything better to do!" She hurriedly put on the fencing vest, helmet and gloves "c'mon! First to ten points win! En garde!"

Lance sighed concedingly as he donned the borrowed gear carefully. He then adopted an orthodox stance while replying with a smile through the mesh of the face guard.

"En Garde."

**************************************

*******The End of Chapter 4*****

**************************************

#my art #OC #musketeers #mu5keteers #sci fi & fantasy

[prixmiumarchive]

Rules: Answer these 10 Star Wars-related questions and tag your favorite Reylo blogs to join in!

Tagging: I have literally no idea which of my followers do more than just tolerate my Reylo shipping so I will leave it to you if you want to tag me. (I know morethanprinceofcats and huntingwendigos blog about Star Wars some but I’m not gonna @ you directly because I feel like maybe the frustrations are strong with these ones. <3) I’m not a real reylo blogger (yet?) until I contribute something, but thank you so much for tagging me @benperorsolo!

1) Who is your favorite Star Wars character of the new trilogy? (excluding Rey and Kylo)

Finn!!! I just love how gentle he wants to be, and him saying “Rebel Scum” was one of the most attractive moments in cinematic history according to every possible definition of the word “attractive.”

2) If you had a lightsaber what color would it be?

Honestly, I really like the color red and it’s disappointing to me that it is almost universally associated with evil in this context. When I was younger and used to play with an even younger cousin with his plastic lightsabers in the yard, I seem to vaguely remember using Yoda’s lightsaber a lot.

3) What is/are your favorite quote(s) from a Star Wars movie?

It breaks my heart, but “So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause,” from Padme in Episode III came to me at a time when it became something of a formative rallying cry in the back of my mind for what to be forewarned against.

“Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life. So you might say that we are encouraged to love,” from Anakin in Episode II also wrecked my teenage self and made me ship Anidala so much that it was my Life for a while. I also think that it’s just a really interesting take on the intersection of certain unfair mandates that get placed on religious orders, a person’s genuine effort and belief, and human emotional need and impulse.

When Rey sighed and said “Lifting rocks,” toward the end of Episode VIII I almost lost it.

“That’s how we’re gonna win. Not fighting what we hate; saving what we love,” from Rose in TLJ as well. This is one of those things that will stick with me and inspire my thinking in the future. It also feels like something I definitely want in the narratives I enjoy on a thematic level.

4) Do you think Kylo/Ben will survive episode IX?

I think literally the only way he dies is if Rey is already pregnant with another Skywalker baby because, like, I don’t think they’re going to kill off the entire Skywalker bloodline... (And I don’t think that will be their solution.)

Also, if Ben died for atonement, it would basically mean that Episode IX is literally the same movie as Episode VI. They wouldn’t have had any narrative progression at all from what happened to topple the Galactic Empire (which might have helped but didn’t stick) to what happens to topple the First Order.

5) What are your top 3 favorite Star Wars films?

This might even be different from the last time I made this list, but I think:

VI: The Return of the Jedi VIII: The Last Jedi II: Attack of the Clones

6) Which droid would you most like to own/have as your sidekick on intergalactic adventures?

R2-D2. I’ve always thought he was cute and the fact that he is apparently a sailor-mouthed sass machine in a way we can’t understand appeals to me. Also durable AF apparently.

7) Which Jedi master would you most like to train under: Luke, Yoda, Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan?

Obi-Wan because I kind of have a crush on him and would listen very attentively.

8) What is your favorite scene featuring Rey and Kylo?

That moment of release of tension when Kylo kills Snoke and Rey stands up and is staring at him. Like, she clearly thought this was how this was going to go and then had all this doubt, and the sort of stunned relief on her face makes me breathe. That whole scene is wonderful and intense. Her hand on his hip was fantastic and super-convincing as someone who was on the fence about the shipping part going in. And even the absolutely heartbreaking part is beautifully performed and interesting.

9) What order did you initially see the saga films in?

So it happened like this. I knew what Star Wars but only in the dimmest of ways throughout my childhood. I was aware that Episode I had come out, but at the time I didn’t go out very much. My neighbor friend’s grandfather was really into it, though, so she was really into the Padme aesthetic and young woman in power thing, so she wanted to LARP at it when I went over to play. I saw bits and pieces of the movie but carefully curated to her interests. I was utterly baffled by her giggling as if it were a sensual taboo that someday Anakin and Padme were gonna get married and make babies because I had absolutely no clue why she knew this or insisted about it. (We were like 9 to make this less creepy.)

Few years later, my cousin who had three kids and was really struggling at the time came over and offered to take me with her and her eldest son to see Episode III because she had managed to procure babysitting for the younger two. It was an opportunity to spend time with someone who could hold a mature conversation and to get me out of the house. I was home-schooled at the time and only a teenager, but she made do. So basically, the first Star Wars movie I ever sat through was Episode III. By that time, the internet had filled me in a bit more about what Star Wars was, but I was still almost lost, but the tragedy of it all drew me in.

I went to Walmart and bought the trilogies on layaway (which was still a thing) -- prequels first, then a boxed set of the original -- and watched them. I fell in love with Episode II especially and it was a good eighteen months of my adolescence. I was into the Original Trilogy, but the Prequel Trilogy had my heart. I’d watch them on a sort of slow loop but watch Episode II far more than any of the rest. 

I got out of Star Wars for a few years because of real life things and other interests. I went to see TFA with my best friend and I was passively interested enough to see TLJ when it came out. Then I finally saw TLJ and feel mildly hyped about Star Wars again for the first time in a decade.

10) What is your ideal ending for Reylo in Episode IX?

I really like the Force Connection, and I want them to find that no matter what they do it cannot be fully severed. I don’t know exactly how, but I want that to be a part of the plot. Snoke believed he was responsible for it, but it lingered after his death, so that was clearly an arrogant misconception on his part.

As far as an ending goes in terms of relationship arc, I would like it if we kind of have an inverse scene to the throne room scene where clearly our heroes would probably not be as slimy as Snoke but basically that Rey gets to insist to the Resistance that they spare him in spite of Leia and in spite of everything. Then i want him to have an opportunity to prove her right.

#reylo fandom #reylo #conventional blogging tag #benperorsolo #tumblr games #star wars

[melpomenecokr]

﹟ ♡  THIS MONTH IN MUSIC  :  MAY 2019.

                                  ♡♡♡

May was a month that happened and I guess we need to talk about it. 

As barren as the month seemed for impressive releases, there were a few diamonds in the rough, thank God, and as I’m sure you’ve figured out by now, it’s my job to bring them to light, and talk about why these hits stood out among the many (many) misses this month of May had to offer. All complaints aside, I present to you my top five musical recommendations for the month of May. 

Just as they always are, links for purchase and streaming services will be provided at the end of each segment for their respective release. Please remember to support these artists and their music so we can hear more from them in the future. 

#005. “DDU-DDU ddu-ddu (뚜두뚜두)” - SINGLE BY ETUDE♡ (습작) RELEASE DATE: 03 MAY 2019

You all often like to joke with me that I am, for the most part, boy group illiterate, so it may not come with much shock when I say I’ve only knowingly heard a few songs from this group in the past. I tend to listen to almost anything and everything that drifts into my recommended or that I stumble across while browsing MelOn and the like, and I believe that’s how I discovered ETUDE♡ existed in the first place. In the case of “DDU-DDU ddu-ddu” (like the professionals we are on this blog, we’re going to shorten that to just “DDU-DDU” from now on, thank you), however, I actually sought this release out after seeing the video teaser the day prior, because it seemed very intriguing -- and for once, I wasn’t deceived. 

(Just to preface, we’re only going to be talking about the title of this release since this is not an in-depth review, but I would definitely recommend listening to the other two songs, if you’ve got the time.)

“DDU-DDU” is a pop-rap song heavily influenced by trap and EDM with its heavy bass and almost peculiar-sounding beat. Right from when the song starts and the group screams their name into your ear on the first beat drop, you get the sense this is going to be a power anthem about how great and capable they are and how they’re better than everyone else; and as eye-roll worthy as that sounds, that’s actually what makes the title track of this single so great. It knows exactly what it is and it accomplishes its goal perfectly with gutsy raps and surprisingly solid vocals. 

The aforementioned raps are really where this song finds its footing because the chorus isn’t much, but that’s perfectly fine, because with a song like this, the chorus doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. The first rap is delivered by member Yejun, with a slow and suavé kind of flow to it; the kind of rap you would expect to play while the final boss of a video game or the big bad of an action movie makes their first appearance. The punchlines are a little weak, but I think the way this rap flows in itself makes up for that in earnest, it just sounds so good, you don’t really care much about what he’s actually saying. Then, the second rap, delivered by member Saint, follows the chorus and it’s the antithesis of what the preceding rap was; it’s fast-paced, hard-hitting, and really drives home the point of the whole song. I still don’t know that ‘that ddu-du ddu-du du’ is but I fully believe I was hit with it. 

Not to undermine the vocalists, though, because they really did an outstanding job, despite this type of beat and vibe being more fitting for rappers. The main vocalist, Seongwoo, stood out to me because of the way he sang his lines. It’s hard for a lot of k-pop vocalists to portray bravado and confidence with their voices because they are trained to sing in very distinct ways, but he captured that vibe perfectly while still managing to sound stable and light. “DDU-DDU” is the kind of song you play when you need a confidence boost, no doubt about it, and it’s definitely made its way onto my playlist. 

Listen to “ DDU-DDU ddu-ddu (뚜두뚜두)” here and stream the music video here.

#004. “BLAME IT ON YOUR LOVE” - SINGLE BY CHARLI XCX AND LIZZO RELEASE DATE: 15 MAY 2019

These two getting together was completely unexpected on my part, but it was the match made in Heaven that I never saw coming. A snippet of this song actually leaked sometime last year, which had many living in the XCX-verse on the edge of their seats waiting for the project to come back ‘round, and Charli and Lizzo made quite a wave on Twitter when they announced they were doing this piece together. Though I was definitely thrown, I was excited; both artists have a way of being so wonderfully simple and straightforward with their lyrics, but combine that with complex arrangements and composition and messages that it leaves you trapped between two different feelings, and it’s great when music can evoke that strong of a response. 

“Blame It On Your Love” is no exception to this formula these two ladies employ in completely different ways, and their radically different styles come together with a harmony that makes this such a good, and unique song. I wouldn’t be against them forming a duo or doing a collaboration album, to be honest.

Anyway, “Blame It On Your Love” is an eccentric pop song about nervous jitters and different wavelengths making a relationship difficult -- the feelings seem unrequited but it’s hard for Charli to tell because she can’t get close enough to the object of her affections without turning into a nervous wreck, and sabotaging herself when it comes to opening up. Charli’s vocals are broken and slow and create a sense of nervousness and tension that the listener can resonate with, while Lizzo is confident and straightforward (as always) while delivering her short verse near the end of the song. She seems to be giving a completely opposite message than Charli, but because her high-energy rhymes are so different from Charli’s cautious vocals, it works. It’s not detached, either -- it doesn’t seem like it comes out of nowhere, as the production sets the dong up perfectly to have Lizzo give Charli this reality check. Her banter-like ad-libs really make this song so fun and enjoyable, too; despite Lizzo’s contributions seeming relatively small on the surface, she really did her part to make this song the summer-night anthem that it is. 

Overall, I really enjoyed this release, as I knew it was going to be great the moment they announced via social media that they were working together, even if I didn’t immediately know what to expect. I hope these ladies collaborate again in the future; I think when wildly different artists come together and vibe the right way, it can make a memorable spectacle. We need more of that. Some artists are way too full of themselves these days. 

Listen to “Blame It On Your Love” here.

#003. “DEDICATED” - STUDIO ALBUM BY CARLY RAE JEPSEN RELEASE DATE: 17 MAY 2019

If I could only recommend you one underrated artist to stan this year, it would be Carly Rae Jepsen. This is the first time I’ve discussed her on my blog for a while because she sort of fell off the radar after “Call Me Maybe” had the whole world singing in 5-syllable sentences for the better portion of 2012, however she came back onto my life on a better note when “Cut To The Feeling” was pretty much the Pride Anthem of last year. I went back and listened to pretty much everything I had missed from her and when I tell you this girl is not only talented, but pretty much dedicates her career to true retro-esque pop music, I mean it, and I couldn’t mean it more. While I’m sure none of us were as excited to hear “Dedicated” as my best friend’s boyfriend, there was a lot of anticipation surrounding Jepsen’s fourth studio album via her cult following. Now that it’s here, I can verify it was not only worth the wait, but that it didn’t disappoint in the slightest. 

Carly (I’m going to call her by first name for the rest of this segment because I feel foolishly close to her) has the energy and ambition of a pop star with the innocence and modesty of the girl-next-door, and I absolutely love that about her. As much as I need to hear a good, old-fashioned pop song about having sex with a stranger in the back of a stolen SUV every now and then, there’s something so refreshing about Carly’s innate curiosity about love and how desperately she wants to experience it as a young (33 is young, shut up) woman with a big heart. I believe “Dedicated” is the clearest glimpse into her world she’s ever given, and with that, the songs I would like to highlight from this 13-track (not counting the bonus tracks) wonderland of an album are “Now That I Found You”, “Right Words Wrong Time”, and “Real Love.” 

If you haven’t heard “Now That I Found You” by now, I want you to know that I am deeply disappointed in you. This song is everything you’d expect from CRJ and more -- the retro vibes, the high-energy, the stellar vocals and the addictive lyrics blend together to make this not only the song of the summer, but the song of every summer. The delivery of the lovesick lyrics is so earnest and bright that it not only puts you in a great mood, but makes you want to go outside and dance in the rain, regardless of who’s watching, or your high chances of catching a cold. This is exactly the kind of pure, unadulterated pop that Carly delivers consistently without getting stale; it’s so easy to get lost in her world that you won’t even realize 3 minutes and 20 seconds has gone by and you’ll want to replay it 20 times on your drive to work or while sniffing melons at the supermarket. I know this sounds oddly specific, and that’s because it is. I listen to every piece I review 3 times over at least, and this was one of the easiest songs to follow that rule with to date. 

“Right Words Wrong Time” is the second-to-last song on this album, and I think that was done with a concerning degree of intention. It’s a slow, melancholic track about a relationship that just isn’t working because the two lovers are on two different wavelengths. It rings consistent with Carly’s desire for passionate and confident love, as she’s frustrated with her lover for not prioritizing her enough to know what she really seeks in their relationship until its too late. I was considerably surprised by this track, but I think it works so perfectly for this album’s overarching layout and themes because it teaches the listener that you should never settle in a relationship, and you should know when you’ve given enough chances. It’s not a song you could break out in a full-choreographed dance to at any given time, but it doesn’t need to be for the message it’s trying to convey. Carly’s soft vocals and the simple, tastefully-repetitive beat amplify what she’s saying in a way that really resonates with the listener, which is exactly what the lyrics of this song demand. It works perfectly. 

Remember that point about “Right Words Wrong Time” intentionally being toward the end for a reason? Well, “Real Love” ends this album and that same concept must have been employed here, too, because this song ties this album together so perfectly, it could honestly work as a formal outro. It sums up what Carly has always been about, wanting “real, real love” in a cold and unforgiving world when she doesn’t know who to trust or who is telling the truth. It’s such a wholesome desire that I think most people can relate to in one way or another, because at the end of the day, a lot of humans just want real, honest relationships that give them a reason to get out of bed on a particularly tough day, or to reassure them that they’re worth something when the world gets them down. This energetic pop song and earnest ballad hybrid showcases just how much CRJ makes music for normal, everyday people who aren’t glamourous rich pop stars constantly feeling like they’re the best. It’s so honest and I can feel how naked she must have felt writing and putting out a song like this, and it shouldn’t go without appreciation. 

Listen to “Dedicated” here and stream the music video for “Now That I Found You” here.

#002. “90s BXTCH” - SINGLE BY KKUMA (꿈아) RELEASE DATE: 26 MAY 2019

If I had been on top of my game this month, this song almost certainly would have missed the cutoff date to be included in this list -- so I guess my turmoil was a blessing in disguise (though it could have always been included in next month’s, I know, but I like to be optimistic sometimes). 

Kkuma is one of those artists that, even if by some tragedy you don’t like her, you have to respect her because of how iconic her style is, what she stands for, and the fact that she’s probably produced some of your favourite Korean artists’ biggest hits. She’s really been outdoing herself this year by releasing so much music after leaving her fans with very little the last year and a half, and nothing she’s put out has been bad. Period. 

(The reason I haven’t been reviewing them all individually is because I’m nearly certain that she’s gearing up to release an album this year, by the way. I’m not a fake stan, I promise). 

“90s BXTCH” stood out to me this month because of how utterly Kkuma it is -- she’s basically pioneered the 90′s aesthetic in the Korean music industry and she knows that with a song like this, from the descriptions of classic 90′s aesthetics and imagery to the way this song sounds like it could have been ahead of its time during its release in 1996. The chorus references “Sade,” though I’m not entirely sure if it’s referring to the solo artist or the band she was in that was named after her -- either way, Sade is a 90′s icon known for her soulful vocals and unique style, and Kkuma mirrors that in 2019 in a way that is indescribable. It’s a perfect allusion.  

As the single description states, the track is an ambitious mix of 90′s R&B and contemporary hip-hop, and it works so beautifully, showing that old trends really never die because they always come back in one way or another. Kkuma makes it clear through this song that while she’s a simple woman, she isn’t basic; she enjoys the finer things in life but they’re not all she cares about. The song has an underlying message about being true to yourself no matter what everyone else is doing, and also that it’s a beautiful life when you mind your own business and do things your own way. The seamless blend of vocals and rap is done so well that it’s nearly undetectable when she’s switching from one to another, and I love that this woman literally has no rules when she puts out a song -- that she can do whatever she wants and still make something incredible. 

The beat of the song is just as relaxed and confident as the lyrics, and given that Kkuma writes and produces her own music, I’m not surprised by this, though I am impressed by how in-tune she is with her own aesthetic and her own music. Kkuma prioritizes aesthetics a lot in both her visuals and sound, and “90s BXTCH” is like the final boss as all of that culminates and she shows you exactly who she is and what she’s about in just one song. It takes strength, confidence, and self-awareness for an artist to do that, and Kkuma’s got all of that and more. I really hope to see this included on a future album of the same caliber. 

Listen to “90s BXTCH” here and stream the music video here. 

#001. “DUSK V. DAWN (황혼 대 새벽)” - REISSUE ALBUM BY NINEBANG (나인뱅) RELEASE DATE: 03 MAY 2019

If you’ve spent more than five minutes on my blog at any given time after NINEBANG’s debut in May of last year, this probably is no surprise to you. Especially when his age bracket and status as a rookie is considered, NINEBANG is one of the best artists out there right now, and the best male vocalist in the industry, by far. I was elated to see that his second mini-album “Eclipse” was being repackaged into a full-length album, and boy am I satisfied with the new material sprinkled into an already-great work. 

Whenever K-pop artists do repackage albums, I get a bit nervous that they’re either going to add bland remixes or re-hash the same song structure they had in the initial release, or completely destroy the synergy of the original release, if it had any to begin with. As much as I admire NINEBANG, I couldn’t evade those worries with him, and I was pleasantly proven wrong as the new material fits like a glove among the original material in terms of themes and structure. Whoever arranged this tracklist deserves a gold medal, as I especially appreciated how the new songs weren’t just tacked onto the end like an afterthought. 

So, that considered I want to exclusively focus on the new material, as I reviewed “Eclipse” in the past. The songs I have selected to pitch to you are, of course “WANT”,  “Artistic Groove”, and “Nightdrive.” 

Starting with the title track, “WANT” is perhaps the best of this dark, sultry image NINEBANG is exploring with both this album and it’s initial release. It’s a contemporary R&B and Pop hybrid, drawing the listener into NINEBANG’s sultry charms and powerful yet versatile voice. The lyrics are actually pretty simple and somewhat repetitive, but the way they are delivered makes this song the great listen that it is. I actually recommend you watch live performances of this song, too, because they are really something. I’ve never been a good dancer but watching someone not only outsing the industry but move so fluidly while doing so is beyond my realm of understanding. Anyway, “WANT” does its job to make you horny but it also incites this sense of curiosity in the listener, too; like the feeling you get when you know you’re about to indulge in a sinful pleasure but you wonder what the consequences will actually be, and if they’ll even be worth worrying over in comparison to the pleasure itself. This song spells out temptation with bold letters between NINEBANG’s seductive vocals and the spell-like lyrics. It’s not a listen for the faint of heart, but it’s a great song by a great artist, and that’s always worth your time.

Next is “Artistic Groove,” and if you thought “WANT” was a little dirty, we’re just getting started. This song is packed with innuendos and suggestive tones, to the point where my eyebrows were almost flying off my face the entire time I was listening to it. It’s so good, though; the way he lays out his sexuality and sensuality for the listener to explore. It, in turn, can make the listener feel confident and sexy, on top of being the kind of song you just have to move to. It makes a fleeting attraction feel like something deep and profound, like the excuses you make in your head before a hookup, and while that can be a little dangerous for the weak-willed (like me), it’s the kind of unapologetic self-expression and view into the artist’s mind that I like to see in music. I like to know that I’m listening to a person sometimes, and not some untouchable god, as much life as that can give me, too. 

Finally, let’s end this segment right by talking about Nightdrive. I actually wasn’t sure how I felt about this song the first time I listened to it, but it grew on me by the second time, and by the third, I was belting out the chorus to my neighbours’ dismay. This track features another great vocalist, June of GEMINI, who you may remember from last months’ TMIM post. I can tell these two are friends because they work together really well; their singing styles are pretty different and wouldn’t work together in even a slightly different setting, but they made them work in this suave R&B track about a blossoming attraction in the confined space of a car. The way the verses and bridge build up to the loud and funky chorus via both the lyrical structure and the arrangement of the song itself is so smooth and easy on the ears, while it simultaneously builds anticipation in your chest, and I really enjoy getting invested in a song like that. Their chemistry is really what makes this listen so enjoyable, because I honestly feel as though if anyone else released this song, it wouldn’t have been that great. It just goes to show how specific music can be. 

Listen to “Dusk V. Dawn (황혼 대 새벽)” here and stream its music videos here and here. 

This concludes May’s installment of “This Month in Music”! I hope you found something new or learned to appreciate something you may not have before through these recommendations. Please remember to support the artists by visiting their respective links, and enjoy their music legally. Also, be sure to tell me about your own recommendations from this month in the comments, and feel free to respectfully discuss any of the points I’ve made here, whether you agreed or disagreed. 

Love always, see you next month!  ♡ 

#r: multi #s: tmim #a: etude♡ #a: charli xcx #a: lizzo #a: carly rae jepsen #a: kkuma #a: ninebang

[brague-plog]

All roads lead to rome...?

Hello again you readers of the blog. Welcome back! its been a while, because I had a good long break in between trips. First my friends came to visit, them my Parents, then I had a week to relax... Point being that I know it's been a while but this blog post is a long one so I hope that makes up for the absence.

OK so our trip began in the usual fashion of making a train and a bus ride to the airport. This time I had Kendra fresh off the bus from Coburg with me and we were ready for some Roma, some pasta, and lots of sun.

 We made it to the flight just fine, and to rome where we were supposed to catch 2 trains to Orvieto where we would meet August, Sarah, and all our friends studying in Italy.

Now this is where the story gets a bit wild and it’s not the only time. (Don’t worry mom we weren’t in any danger at any point, so please continue reading) So, we had tickets from the Rome airport to the main terminal, then tickets from the terminal to orvieto. The only problem? there was a 10 minute window in between trains, and the train to orvieto was (or so we thought) the last one for the night. So, with tickets in hand and a will to make the next train, we had to sprint around the entire Rome central station to a separate special platform to make our second train. We got onto the train, entered the car, and looked at each other in relief and the train was in motion. I think we made it with 20 seconds to spare. 

Here you can see us happily seated and my hand still shaking, still clutching my ticket. The rest of that night went relatively smooth, we drank some wine, had some good laughs and good company then promptly passed out.

Orvieto at sunrise :)

The next day we had more still trains to ride as we wanted to spend the day in Roma! This was much less stressful than the last train ride and I took a nap. When we got (back) to Rome we got breakfast at a rather touristy cafe near the station but it was cheap, so who can complain? Then we were off! It was a whirlwind of sights that I can’t describe all here because there was just so much, but all I really have to say is SPQR.

the Colosseum! We couldn’t make it in, but it was magnificent anyways...

Victory arches should be a thing back home.

You know, a funny thing happened on the way to the forum....

The Fountain where Lizzie McGuire met Paolo (and where I threw a coin in obvs)

I have to say, the most spectacular thing I saw had to be the Pantheon. There's just something about its sheer size and the inability to capture it on camera that makes it magical. Its perfect.

Oh hello there friends 

And of course like any good catholic... I made it to the Vatican :) Papa Francis didn’t come out to say hello, but he let us in his front yard which is pretty cool.

Another Highlight was making it to the Roma vs. Atalanta game (no, not Atlanta) they Tied it 1-1 but it was pretty amazing to watch anyways 

This was the last photo I got before my phone died, but we also made it to the Zaha Hadid [ aka the most badass, controversial, female, favorite architect I have] building the Maxxi.

Our day in rome ended with another train ride back to orvieto. This time there was less running involved and we went to bed happy and dead tired. During our conquest of Rome our pedometers counted something like 11 miles walked, though this fact is still out for debate.

The next day was Easter Sunday and I dragged everyone to Catholic mass with me at the duomo in Orvieto. It’s one of only 2 real gothic churches in Italy, and it did not disappoint

Church was followed by a great lunch with friends in the sunshine where I learned that salted bread is not a thing in Italy, and that wine with lunch is totally acceptable

And I learned that I had not truly lived ‘till I had Lemon Gelato

The Rest of Easter was spent lounging about in the sunny weather, taking too many goofy photos and picking flowers. Truly one of the most relaxing things I’ve ever done, 10/10 recommend being lazy in an Umbrian hill town with your friends. 

I know we all look pretty awful in this photo but I couldn’t resist the goofiness of it all ;D

flowers!

So Our final full day in Italy was a full one. I started off getting a cappuccino with August in the Morning because Kendra and Sarah were still asleep, then going on an adventure to find a waterfall that we had heard was somewhere near the town convent.

Orvieto in the morning! 

So the hike to the waterfall was quite the adventure, we had packed snacks, had cell service, and a map and went to find the mysterious spot. We hiked down the side of the hill town, across a small valley and alllllllll the way up the next hill finally finding the convent where we were supposed to find the trail to the waterfall.

When we finally made it to where the waterfall was supposed to be we were able to discern that the waterfall was in-fact on private property. The members of the group that are braver than I ventured to the front door of the Italian Villa we had unknowingly arrived at, and they asked for the waterfall. The man who answered the door happened to be a lawyer whose family had owned the land for 400 years. He apparently had time to show us the waterfall, so him and his son, along with the family dogs and us (me a little hesitantly) in tow walked us to the waterfall. This photo is the small version of the big one we actually saw and I forgot to take a photo of. He also showed us a cave that had been carved by the Etruscans as well. 

After our lovely tour with our new friend and his family, he gave us some water for our trek back into town. I was hesitant at first but this leg of our trip ended up being the most beautiful and rewarding experience. We made our way back toward the main road and stopped on a small knoll to eat our snacks and soak up as much vitamin D as possible. Rashell got to come along with us this day too which was so wonderful.

The trek back to town and back up the hill town was not as pleasant I have to say, but we were rewarded with showers and far too much risotto, gelato and wine

The next day was a day full of some FRUSTRATING travel. Kendra got her suitcase lost, and the flight was.... interesting. Italian children are not the most behaved I’ve encountered. that’s for sure. 

All in all Italy was surprising, happy, relaxing and nerve wrecking all in one. All I know is that It was more than I dreamed it would be.

#study abroad #italy #rome

[elle-stevens]

The Break Up Blog - Day Sixteen

It’s weird, but I actually had to count how many post-break up days I’m up to now.

Does that mean I’m actually moving on? Or maybe my memory’s getting more appalling with age.

Work was fine today, only two classes all day long. My colleague, PE’s wife, GR, came to drop off some papers for him at work and C, CI and I ended up chatting to her for nearly 2 hours. Maybe not the most productive time at work, but at least I had fun. My fourth grade boys were rowdy as per usual with SB at the forefront of all the chaos having a lovely sulk at not getting his way in class yet again. I do feel bad that most of the problem stems from my shitty Korean and Chinese speaking skills; but other children experiencing language barriers find healthier ways to channel their frustrations. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned, but a spank on the bottom from my parents honestly did me the world of good over time and gave me a healthy respect for my elders, something most modern children severely lack. I would love to say that all of this drama at work actually upset me; but sadly, it just doesn’t anymore. I guess it’s because I already know that I won’t be extending my contract even if my school asks me to. They can find someone else to babysit children for 8 hours a day and call it ‘teaching’.

I have another potential interview lined up on Saturday for another Chinese training center where I might be able to teach classes for two hours every Saturday. And the woman who set up the meeting even sent me some cash on Wechat for a taxi ride. I was unexpectedly touched by that gesture because no one ever does that for a person they potentially want to hire for a job. That’s ok with me because I was going to find my own way to the place. Still, the fact that a complete stranger did something nice for me lifted my spirits in unimaginable ways. I guess I’ve grown used to people I know being shitty to me lately and accepting that as the status quo, which is kind of sad. When did most people stop being decent human beings? Maybe all of this technology at our disposal in the modern world has only served to put up more barriers between us. It’s like G always tells me: I need to be purposely grateful for what I have and find the good in people and things again.

In light of breaking up with X, I really thought that I would shun everything to do with love and romance, including my penchant for cute and fluffy movies and dramas. If anything, I find myself clinging stubbornly to the notion that despite my string of bad luck, love is still a beautiful and wondrous thing. I guess I’ve always liked living vicariously through other people’s happiness, long before I found and lost love a few times over the years. I feel sad when people, real or fictional, are about to fall out of love with each other. Love is such a precious gift; if I could go back in time and retrieve every piece of those feelings I squandered away so recklessly, I would do it every time. Despite how many times I get hurt, I would never choose to not feel anything.

It’s funny how happy memories of X always hit me when I least expect it. The way her hair curls at the ends when it’s wet after she’s had a swim; the way she snorts at the end of a good laugh; the cheap mood rings I bought which served as our first set of couple rings when neither of us had that much money to spend on each other; the goofy look of adoration she’d get on her face when she looked at me that let me know how much she loved me. When the memories hit me, they sting and tear through my insides. That’s when I have to figuratively squint through the pain and turn my thoughts elsewhere, if only for a while.

Life is moving so quickly already and a part of me feels reluctant to leave X behind. She was such a big part of my life for three years; soon, we’ll both become wayward reminders of a simpler and happier time that can never be repeated. My friend D told me yesterday that I shouldn’t try to deny whatever feelings I have for X and just let myself be, so I’m trying to do that without overindulging in sentimentality.

I bumped into my friend and colleague, J, at the gym earlier, which was nice. She’s thinking of getting a membership. It would be nice if she did, then maybe we could hang out more outside of work. But it’s ok if she doesn’t. I’m slowly learning to give up my expectations for other people, even my platonic friends. After what happened, I don’t want to need anyone for anything, not even the little things like having another friendly face in a familiar place. I want to want people around me, but still be ok when I happy to be alone.

My workout was good tonight, but it still left me in an exhausted ball of sweat. My body hurts from all the strenuous exercise, but this is a pain I can endure and even enjoy in small spurts. I’ve never been good at dealing with emotional pain. I only want fluffy clouds and silly jokes from here on out. The uglier side of human nature and self-interest that I keep seeing these days makes my stomach turn. I’m beginning to realise that I feel true hatred for dishonest people. I can only deal with people when I know exactly who I’m dealing with, even if those people are vile and putrid in bodily form. I don’t like people who hide behind pretty lies.

X really did a number on me and it’s probably going to take a while before I make my peace with dishonest people. It probably stems from my complicated relationship with my mother who uses lies to not deal with her own unresolved childhood issues. I swore I’d never date anyone who resembled my mother in any form.

And then I met X.

I always seem to learn the most important lessons of my life after I’ve fallen flat on my face and knocked the wind out of my proverbial sails. I just hope that I’ll continue picking myself up and dusting myself off each time it happens.

I’m rambling now; I must be more tired than I realised. I’m going to a bar for ‘Ladies Night’ with C and some other friends tomorrow evening after work. SH agreed to let me do a Skype interview with him on Friday evening after work for his school, which I hope will go well. I don’t really like filling my schedule up like this since it makes me yearn for my ‘me time’. But maybe keeping busy will be enough to help me breathe life into my weary bones and to rely less on what I used to have with X to validate myself.

I’m going to eat a snack and watch more ‘Cinderella Chef’ before turning in for bed. A lot of bad shit happened in that drama, but even the main characters seem to be forging a new path for themselves in the hopes that they can get past the tragedies that wrecked havoc on their lives.

Just maybe, I might be able to do the same too.

#breakupblog

[jillmckenzie1]

Straight A’s, Zero F’s

In our own ways, we all have power. From petitions, to marches, to your own creativity, everyone has the power to push the needle in a positive direction. Film has a power that’s mighty, and one of my favorite things is championing a film, getting absolutely blissed-out, and transforming into a cinematic evangelist. The right film can open eyes, change a life, and make the unbearable a little easier to bear. But what if you had the power to prevent a great film from becoming a train wreck?

Office Space and Clue are some of the most beloved comedies ever made. They were also disasters at the box office. One of the most frustrating aspects of this job is witnessing a slow-motion cinematic train wreck, particularly when it’s undeserved. If you see enough movies and think about them, after a while you start to develop a sense of when and why certain films tank. Let’s bear in mind that train wrecks come in all shapes and sizes.

Sometimes the problem is with the material itself. Green Lantern is a movie about a cosmic superhero that does everything it possibly can to not be cosmic. A notorious failure, the film had a $200 million budget, only made $219 million worldwide and nearly destroyed the career of Ryan Reynolds.

Sometimes the concept is great, but the execution doesn’t work. Consider the idea of a bubbly high school girl who is destined to be a vampire hunter. Joss Whedon ran with that concept and wrote a script about it. Unfortunately, director Fran Rubel Kuzui didn’t appear to get it, and 1992’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer failed theatrically. Whedon would have to take the idea to television in order to help it bloom.

The worst kind of train wreck is when a movie has a strong concept, solid execution, and it still crashes and burns upon release. It’s a genuinely tragic situation when the talent and passion of a group of filmmakers is met with a collective “meh.” I’m very worried that’s exactly what’s going to happen with the new comedy Booksmart, and it deserves so much better.

Molly (Beanie Feldstein) and Amy (Kaitlyn Dever) are high school seniors who seem to be on the fast track to success. They have been best friends since forever, studied hard, and strategically participated in every elective possible. What’s that relentless focus gotten them? On the one hand, Molly is class valedictorian, and she’s heading to Yale in the fall and the beginning of a glittering career. Amy has plans to help underprivileged women in Botswana. The odds are pretty good that these two are going to make a mark in the world.

On the other hand? Their focus comes with a cost. Molly’s peers view her as a pretentious scold, and Amy’s peers generally don’t know she’s even there. That’s okay by Amy…mostly. One of her classmates is a girl named Ryan (Victoria Ruesga), and Amy nurses a pretty serious crush. Amy’s been out for a few years, but maybe Ryan could be her first love?

It’s the day before their graduation, and the plan is for Molly and Amy to share a celebratory cake, watch some Ken Burns documentaries, and prepare for the rest of their lives. That was the plan until Molly comes to a shattering realization. While her hyper-focus has gotten her into Yale, her less studious peers are still heading for great schools and amazing careers, while still partying up a storm.

Needless to say, Molly is pissed. Now, she’s determined to have one night of hedonism, and she sees her chance. Nick (Mason Gooding) is one of the popular kids, and he’s throwing a massive party on Graduation Eve. All Molly and Amy need to do now is find out where the party is. That’s not going to be easy.

What we have here is a coming-of-age comedy made with intelligence, style, and a relentless sense of humor. What we also have here is what could be viewed as a niche film scheduled to go up against box office juggernauts like Aladdin and John Wick: Chapter 3. Is it any wonder that Booksmart came in sixth place last weekend with a disappointing $6.9 million profit? The accepted wisdom, if you can call it that, is that Booksmart is a failure.

From a directing standpoint, that couldn’t be further from the truth. This is director Olivia Wilde’s first feature film. Do a little research, and you’ll see that she’s been a working actor for several years. She’s also produced a number of documentaries, directed a couple of music videos, and worked on both big studio movies and small independent films. All that experience gave her the training she needed to make a hilarious and smart film with a distinctive voice. From snide quips to the almost Bugs Bunny antics of rich girl Gigi (Billie Lourd), Wilde’s sense of humor is on full display. Plus, in a world where studio comedies are often shot in the dullest way possible, Wilde’s film is colorfully lit and imaginatively shot. A house party feels unexpectedly and appropriately dreamy, and a drug trip features absolutely bananas energy. This is the best-looking comedy I’ve seen since Game Night.

Ordinarily, the presence of five credited screenwriters is a portent of doom. Multiple bullets have been dodged since the screenplay is about more than the hijinks of a couple of teenagers. It’s about two smart young women who have a not-great habit of assuming their peers are completely one-dimensional. The goofball stoner actually has a six-figure coding gig with Google locked up, and the girl who’s been saddled with a slutty reputation is perceptive and Yale-bound. Bound up within the ridiculous situations and plentiful f-bombs is some very strong character work.

The strong script and assured direction are what allows the cast to shine. Beanie Feldstein’s Molly is the showier role, and Feldstein absolutely goes for it. She’s got some serious comic skills, and she puts it to impressive use playing a simultaneously laser-focused and misguided young woman. Kaitlyn Dever’s Amy is the quieter half, yet she makes a meal out of her unrequited crush and quiet mortification toward her best friend’s steamroller attitude. Feldstein and Dever have an outstanding comedic partnership, and they play off each other beautifully.

They say that, in Hollywood, nobody knows anything. Odds are Annapurna Pictures were hoping for something along the lines of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, a smaller-budgeted film that survived on positive word-of-mouth and was in theaters for a year. Maybe Booksmart got off to a slow start due to a poorly timed release schedule. Maybe it was unrealistic to assume it would be a $100 million hit.

While I don’t pretend to have any kind of real influence, what I do know is that I screwed up and should have reviewed this film last week instead of the not-so-awesome Brightburn. There’s still time, though. You might be tempted to wait for Netflix on this one. I’m asking you — don’t let this film become a train wreck. Go see Booksmart immediately, if not sooner. I think you’ll love it.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/straight-as-zero-fs/