#but the criticism of the thing is so toxic and hostile and in such bad faith that having that conversation is next to impossible

[mrmallard]

Man on one hand FF13 really is that bad, as much as I love how it looks the levelling system and gameplay is kind of broken on a foundational level, but on the other hand so much 13 hate was predicated on being as much of a hateful cunt as possible about Lightning and looking back I feel like a lot of it was steeped in bullshit double standards and abject misogyny.

Like I used to post in a Final Fantasy thread and whenever Lightning came up, one specific person would deadass go "Lightning was a horrible person who abused everyone, and the game would be better if she died halfway through and nobody cared". Every time she came up.

I remember people saying they bastardised SOLDIER to make her more reminiscent of Cloud, they bastardised the scorpion fight from FF7 and made the fight borderline unloseable to hype her up because she's a bland Mary Sue who needs character shilling, she's just a retread of Cloud and Squall etc. And while I'm critical of FF13, I've always been bugged by the character hate (including for Hope) and I feel like a lot of it comes from this cultural well of like Nostalgia Critic-esque dickhead internet criticism that people seemingly couldn't communicate at all without dipping into.

Like, Lightning starts the game off being incredibly blunt, punching her sister's fiance and encouraging someone to enact revenge. Not even a quarter of the way through the game, she has a change of heart and she begins to open up more, and she subsequently tries her best to dissuade that character from enacting revenge. So much of the hate stems from the start of her character arc while ignoring how she improves as a person, and that only fuels the whole "shitty Mary Sue Cloud Squall rehash" internet criticism thing where a bunch of dickheads have to try and one-up each other's criticisms by being even more of a fuckface than the last guy.

Now, that's not to say that criticism of Lightning is solely done through that lens, nor is it to say that there's nothing else to criticize about her. What I'm saying is that there's a lot of loud dumbass complaints that defined FF13 for years that stems from a really toxic, shitty place and - in hindsight - it feels like on top of the toxic influence within the online sphere of game criticism of the time, a lot of that shit feels like it's rooted in misogyny.

It's always bothered me, and going back to the game today, it's kind of hard to sit through the opening without remembering the absolute chuddery of FF13 criticism back in the day. The game is very flawed, and I understand that character writing and personal enjoyment is subjective, but there's a difference between articulate and meaningful criticism and getting blindingly mad because they made Lightning do a bunch of badass flips in the opening cutscene and ignoring her entire character arc to call her an entitled bitch, y'know.

#final fantasy 13 #final fantasy #lightning farron #as a postscript - yeah the opening scorpion boss fight was a load of shit. glitz and polish that was all bark no bite #and while some of that can be chalked up to the fight being s tutorial I also think it's mired with a lot of flaws that the later game has #it would have been a cakewalk with any other character. part of that is by design but it's also kind of getting things off on the wrong foot #at least imo #and that's a broader criticism of the game and how streamlined the combat system is #where you're pushing a single button to win. and I fo remember the formations #but then there's another issue where it feels like there's an objectively correct formation to use for bosses #where if you deviate you just lose and if you get the right combination of classes - again you just press a single button to win #or like go through the exact same motions in a rhythm. I don't like that #so like yeah the combat and enemy stuff and all that - I'm critical of that #I don't think calling lightning a mary sue because her and sazh beat it as the tutorial monster is a reasonable criticism #i think it's a broader issue with the game and that reading completely misses what's actually wrong with the game #it's intellectually lazy and a total copout #it's like tlou 2 or the jodie whittaker seasons of doctor who all over again where there's a real conversation to be had #and actual reasonable criticisms to be made #but the criticism of the thing is so toxic and hostile and in such bad faith that having that conversation is next to impossible #because 'this is an aspect of the thing I'm critical of' exists in the same space where some wanker is screaming about lesbians and wokism

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Titania McGrath

Published: May 11, 2024

I was recently invited to Meghan Markle’s mansion in California for a brainstorming session on how to challenge privilege. We chatted over a light luncheon of vegan shakshuka, braised turmeric tofu and some truffle-infused seaweed that Meghan had helicoptered in that morning from Guyana.

The Sussexes do like to keep their carbon footprint to a minimum, so they only ever use one helicopter at a time.

I for one have been shocked that Meghan and Harry’s lifestyle and wellness projects have not been better received. Meghan’s Archetypes podcast with Spotify didn’t prove as successful as she’d hoped, partly because nobody seemed to be interested in what she had to say.

My feeling is that the public needs to get to know the real Meghan. People should realise what a positive influence she has been on Harry. For one thing, his toxic masculinity has all but disappeared ever since she removed his testicles for an installation art piece.

Now, the couple are planning to re-establish their brand in the UK. It turns out that Harry’s decision to write a book slagging off the Royal Family hasn’t endeared him to the British people. The masses are so fickle.

It hasn’t been easy for them. The British media is so inexplicably hostile to Meghan, just because she said they were all evil and racist. In the end, the couple were forced to flee to California to live a quiet and reclusive life. As Meghan said to those 17 million viewers on that interview with Oprah Winfrey, she just wants her privacy.

Even now, the press won’t stop writing articles about Harry. They twist everything he says to try and make him look bad. Some journalists even implied that there was something “weird” about the part of his book where he mentioned that he daubed his penis with his late mother’s favourite lip cream.

After the success of their Netflix documentary, though, Harry and Meghan are keen to branch out into making movies. I hear that they’re considering a feminist reimagining of The Godfather, or possibly an all-black remake of Schindler’s List.

#Titania McGrath #Andrew Doyle #Meghan Markle #Prince Harry #duke of sussex #duchess of sussex #parody #LOL #funny #religion is a mental illness

[mostly-just-sasuke-blog]

Simple answer: No it's not true.

The more complicated answer: I'm not going to attempt to break down every relationship in Naruto, but mostly I take this criticism as thinly veiled code for Naruto and Sasuke's relationship, so that's the one we're going to focus on. But in breaking down their relationship others can, if they want, find principle's that can be applied to other relationships as well. Alright so, let's start by defining the term "toxic relationship". A simple definition of a toxic relationship is a relationship in which the individuals involved are made worse because of their relationship. So the question is, based on our definition of a toxic relationship, is this true of Naruto and Sasuke's relationship?

The world in which Naruto and Sasuke live is violent and caught up in cycles of war. These characters live in a chaotic world more akin to ancient Rome than the reality most of us live in. This is important to note because context is very important. We can say the world they live in is more toxic than ours. And Naruto and Sasuke's lives are affected by these things even more than that of those around them. Both are orphans left isolated and abandoned with the bare minimum provided for them to not starve. Of course there are differences. People expect and even want Naruto to wither away and become nothing. People expect Sasuke to be perfect and live up to his family name. But both are seen for what they represent, not for who they are. Without family or friends, no one much values them as individuals, and society values them based on how useful they expect them to be to said society. Superficially we can see that Sasuke has a higher 'value', but it's attached very much to his performance, so accusations that he has it so much better than Naruto miss the point. Naruto is one of those who felt Sasuke had it better and was resentful and jealous because of it, but you'll notice these beliefs in kid Naruto disappear as the story progresses. This is intentional.

The biggest reason people don't understand the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke is that they don't understand the character of Naruto. People project so much positivity and goodwill onto him because we understand the world from his perspective. He's the character we identify with easiest, and so we are primed to sympathize with him and trust him. We feel bad for him and his pain. But Naruto also starts off the story very antisocial. He is hostile, impulsive, has feelings of superiority, has a callous disregard for others etc. Attacking Sasuke unprovoked and then manipulating Sakura to try to steal her first kiss under the guide of kissing Sasuke is peak characterization to demonstrate who Naruto is at the start. It is very intentional.

And let's look at Sakura's perspective. People commonly attack Sakura for how she treated Naruto at the start, and it's true she has insensitive beliefs about his situation, but first, she's a child, and second, they overlook the fact that Sakura did in fact have a real reason to dislike Naruto. Naruto is a "nice" guy to Sakura. But he's not a good guy. He's nice to Sakura because he wants something from her, and he's hostile to others. Anyone who's ever dealt with someone who constantly gives them unwanted romantic attention, who just will not take a hint and back off, who is constantly trying to work them to manipulate them into a romantic relationship, will understand how aggravating it can be. Of course, Naruto isn't evil, but because he's a lonely child who needs love and acceptance. But He's not mature enough for a romantic relationship even though he thinks he is, and thinks that romance will fill his loneliness.

But just as Sakura was insensitive in her short sighted assumptions and beliefs of Naruto, so too is Naruto in his beliefs and assumptions about Sasuke. If you think Sakura was unfair to Naruto in her initial views of him, then it's nothing to Naruto's unfairness to Sasuke. Ssuke had to deal with a lot of harassment from Naruto. Naruto constantly trying to pick him apart and find weaknesses to exploit. We don't take these seriously because the story plays it for laughs. But it seems especially in serious because of Sasuke. Instead of hating Naruto and siding with Sakura, Sasuke stands up for him. His point is not that Naruto isn't childish and aggravating, because he is, but that there's a reason, and that Naruto needs compassion and patience because he is alone. Of course he doesn't know how to have a normal, healthy relationship.

This leads me to my next point, which is that Naruto is an unreliable narrator. If you disregard what Naruto initially tells us about Sasuke and our own premeditated biases, you'll see that it's actually quite obvious that Sasuke actually really cares about Naruto at the start. In chapter 3 no less. Sasuke puts his own ambition on the line to share food with Naruto, and then Sakura follows his lead too, which creates the basis of team 7's relationship. Yes, Sasuke has a facade of not caring or even disliking Naruto, but this is quite obviously not real.

And if there were any doubts this is proven by Sasuke's next act, his complete lack of hesitation to die on behalf of Naruto. Sasuke trades his life for Naruto. And Naruto is completely caught off guard and doesn't know how to handle the revelation or deal with it given his previous assumptions about Sasuke. It doesn't fit into his worldview, so he completely ignores it for the most part, and Sasuke and Naruto return to their comfortable status quo. It's not until the end of part one that Naruto is faced with the consequences of his behaviors that Naruto drops his own facade and is actually honest with Sasuke in an effort to save him. The truth being that their conflict was initiated by Naruto all along. Naruto was afraid of rejection so he preemptively "hated" Sasuke, and created the rivalry because it gave him a way to keep Sasuke in his life without risking anything on his part. But this actually had enormous consequences because it contributed to Sasuke's isolation.

This leads me to Sasuke. Throughout part 1 Naruto is socialized and becomes connected to his peers and society, in no small part because of Sasuke himself. But Sasuke is not. Everything Sasuke does is judged harshly by society and peers that don't see Sasuke as an individual, but as representative of his clan. If Sasuke does well in fighting he is isolated and gets targeted because others want to defeat him for their own status. If he doesn't do well, he is still isolated, but he's also despised, and his whole clan is judged for it. Sasuke is caught up in a no win situation. And then on top of it Sasuke is also living on borrowed time because his brother has promised to return for him some random day on the future. So Sasuke can't "move on" even if he wanted to. As he tells Sakura he does wish he could have that life. But he can't have it. Sasuke starts off isolated and gets more isolated. He "chooses" to go after Itachi in the same way Harry Potter "chooses" to go after Voldemort after finding out the prophecy. Their "choice" is the choice of how to deal with an inevitable conflict with a much stronger opponent that is coming for them regardless of what they do. But Sasuke was set up in a no win situation from the start. His best chance to survive requires he kill the one person he cares about most. Itachi's command to Sasuke, to kill his best friend to get power, weaponized Sasuke's own emotions against himself. Sasuke doesn't try to make friends after Itachi's words. Point 1: Sasuke is starving for love and relationship. Point 2: relationships had traumatized him. He will get himself killed before he loses anyone again. Point 3: And now any relationship he might form is going to be overshadowed now by itachi's words and his love and duty to his family will make him feel guilty for even having a relationship. Therefore while Sasuke cares immensely, he doesn't want to be close to anyone and won't acknowledge a friendship as existing. But despite his best efforts to keep everyone out, Sasuke starts caring about Naruto. Because despite Naruto's own attempts to form a relationship based on rivalry, Sasuke already cared about him. Sasuke, as is finally confirmed at the end, actually saw Naruto's value long before anyone else and cared about him even before they were a team. Which is also why he also saw Naruto's strength long before others did as well. He acknowledged Naruto first because he was already seeing him.

However, while Sasuke actually does care about Naruto deep down, he has no confidence Naruto sees him as anything other than a rival to overcome. Naruto's exponential growth is an existential threat to Sasuke. First, because it robs Sasuke of his new purpose and justification for staying in Konoha. Second, if Naruto really does overcome him, Naruto will no longer need him as a rival, and given how Naruto acts giddy whenever Sasuke shows a hint of weakness, sasuke has no reason to think naruto will view him with anything other than contempt once that happens. Which is how society also treats him. Sasuke has no reason to believe Naruto actually cares or respects him beyond the rivalry. Sasuke is treated as a commodity by most of the people he meets, it's not hard for him to believe the same is true about Naruto's attachment to him as well. Which is why even though he sees Naruto as his closest friend, he still doesn't trust him and thinks ultimately Naruto wants the opportunity to fight him to the death. As he says to Naruto "you've been wanting this". And this is how Sasuke can justify killing Naruto to himself. Sasuke starts playing the role of evil rival Naruto had projected, but this is what finally alarms Naruto and wakes him up to the consequences of his own actions. And rather than play along and continue the projection, Naruto does something Sasuke never expected. Naruto is honest with Sasuke and tell him his true feelings. And this destroys Sasuke's cynicism. And it allows him the moral courage to reject Itachi's path for him.

I could keep going, but this is the fundamental outline for understanding part 1. The bottom line is this: Sasuke doesn't make Naruto a worse person. Naruto was messed up long before he knew Sasuke. But its his relationship with Sasuke that makes him a better person. Sasuke taught Naruto the meaning of self sacrifice, not to look cool or win social approval, but because you care about someone else more than yourself. And Naruto literally pushes himself to be stronger because of Sasuke. And it's also because of his love for Sasuke and desire to save him that Naruto overcomes his desire to appease society and win approval. He stops caring so much about what society thinks of him and how he looks, and wanting to be hokage so he'll be loved and respected, and he starts going for what he believes is right. Even Sasuke's approval isn't his motivation. Naruto wants to save Sasuke, but Naruto never compromises his morals for Sasuke. Naruto also doesn't make Sasuke a worse person. Although almost everyone else in Sasuke's life tries to use him and demoralize him in order to rebuild him in their own image (Orochimaru, Itachi, Obito), Naruto doesn't. He wants Sasuke to be himself. And naruto's faith in him restores Sasuke's faith and commitment to himself. To Sasuke's own morals. Like Naruto, Sasuke also literally pushes himself to be stronger because of Naruto. The physical reality is a metaphor for the spiritual reality, which is that they are both stronger, better people for having known the other.

The world Sasuke and Naruto live in is toxic, but Naruto and Sasuke aren't toxic for each other. The opposite. It's their relationship that allows them to break the toxic cycles and bring healing. Not by destroying the another, as if the other were the problem, but by restoring one another and pushing one another to be at their best. In the end, the rivalry between Sasuke and Naruto was never about overcoming the other or tearing the other down. Their rivalry is about them overcoming themselves and their own fears.

#naruto ramblings #team 7 #naruto #sakura #uchiha sasuke #pro sasuke #naruto analysis #naruto uzumaki #sasuke #Toxic relationships in Naruto

[chaifootsteps]

The Hellaverse/Vivziepop fandom is the perfect proof of why i hate the arguments of "oh there is no such thing as a toxic fandom! All fandoms are equally toxic! Its always a loud minoriy thats toxic and every fandom is actually nice!".

As someone who has been in multiple fandoms (including some of so called "one of the most toxic fandoms ever"), thats pure fucking bullshit told by lazy people who know that their favourite fandom sucks and they just wanna pretend that there is nothing that could be done about it.

There are fandoms that are healthier, paceful and more mature than others.

There are also fandoms that are more aggresive, rude and toxic also.

If it was true that "every fandom is equally toxic", then all fandoms would have the exact same dramas and polemics, thing that doesnt happens.

For example, not every fandom has multiple cases of people in it harrassing the voice actors, but the Genshin fandom does, thats why it is considered toxic.

Not all fandoms have cases of fans sending death threats to the creator of the show they like over ships, but the BNHA does, and it is considered a toxic fandom.

And not all fandoms have MULTIPLE cases of cyberbulling people for criticizing the show, attacking artist for doing redesigns (even if they didnt have any bad intentions), scaring people off the fandom, acusing people of Bigotry over liking or not liking certain characters, giving rape-apoligyst like speach to justify a shitty ship, making creppy arguments of how consent works to justify rape jokes from the show, gaslighting people into thinking they are bad people for not liking the show(s), invadilating SA victims for not liking how rape was threated in the show(s), defending terrible people just because they participate in the show they like, and even making someone take their life over shipping discourse because their cyberbullying was SO severe. Yet, the Hellaverse fandom does, and they get offended if we say that their fandom is toxic.

And also the thing "its just some bad apples! A loud toxic minority most people are nice!!!" Its also a dirty lie. Because in the Hellaverse fandom, being a terrible person (especially against anybody who dislikes the shows) is constantly encouraged and excused, not only by the fans but by the person they admire, and they will crucify you if you dare to point that out.

They always excuse themselves with "it isnt THAT bad, youre just a hater!", "well the antis makes us act this way!", "but the hatedom is just as bad!", all lame excuses that is so worrying to think that grown ass people are saying this.

Because yeah, your fandom IS toxic, and its a huge problem thats hurting many people, and it will never get better until you guys reconise that is not the fault of antis, haters or the "hatedom", its you, who are at least 70% of the fandom assholes.

Speaking as someone who's been in decades of fandoms, some wonderful and some downright nuts, the HH/HB fandom is easily the scariest and most hostile. I wish I could say I was surprised when we all learned that it had led to a real person's death, but a lot of people have been saying for years now that one way or another, someone was eventually going to get hurt.

The first step towards fixing anything that's gone wrong is to admit that there's a problem. Any member of Viv's fandom, from the fans to the SH higher-ups refusing to admit anything's wrong, isn't actually interested in keeping people safe.

#Anonymous #viv stuff #actual blog post #vivziepop fandom

[ieatpastriesforfun]

r/daggerheart is toxic AF...and I love it

Note: This is just a rant about the subbreddit and their inability process any critique of the game that goes against their narrative of the game. The game itself has a lot of good parts, which I really like. But this post isn't about the game, but the subbreddit.

So you know, I am a nerd that like to nerd about games and probabilities. I've been interested in Daggerheart for a while because I am a fan of Critical Role, and the beta playtest rules recently came out. I was super excited, so I read through the PDF as soon as I got the chance, also started a game with my partner.

And honestly, there are some great parts to the game. But there are also some design decisions that made me scratch my head. So I shared some of my thoughts on r/daggerheart.

Oh boy did I poke a beehive. That subbreddit is pretty hostile toward anyone who dares to criticize the game. My first post critiquing the complexity of the damage system got down voted to oblivion. They told me I shouldn't have opinion on the very things I can read because I haven't played the game. So when I played the game and posted my feedback, these folks dismissed my criticisms because I was suffering from "new system syndrome."

Oh, and the comments. They were something else. The sub is dominated by a group of people who are pushing the narrative that Daggerheart is "rules-light" and "very easy" and "less math than DND."

Yes, Daggerheart is a rules-light game with a 377 page rulesbook. Because this is still beta, it is missing a ton of rules, not to mention artwork. But sure, it's a rules-light game. Because what is page count if not just a number?

Yes, Daggerheart is "very easy" if you ignore the fact that every character has HP, minor damage threshold, major damage threshold, severe damage threshold, stress, hope, and armor on top of your abilities and backstory and everything else you are trying to juggle.

Yes, Daggerheart has less math than DND because instead of just subtracting the damage from the HP, you compare the damage to each of the thresholds to decide whether or not you want to reduce the damage by armor, then determine how much you lower the HP by, unless it is below the minor threshold, in which case you take stress, but if you are filled up on stress, you take 1 HP. Oh, and you know, if you also ignore the fact that you roll two dice, add the numbers, and check to see which one is bigger to decide which one is bigger every single time you want to do something.

So yeah, if you ignore all of those very obvious things that I can see with my very own eyes, my own experience of running the game, my experience having played a rules-light RPG like Candela, they are right: Daggerheart is a rules-light game that is very easy to play with less math than DND /s.

Seriously, these folks will fight you tooth-and-nail to tell you that what you can see is wrong. They will gaslight you, tell you about how 11-years can play Daggerheart, their 73 year old mother can play Daggerheart, tell you that you are playing the game wrong, DND has taught you bad habits, and that your critique doesn't matter because all you want is the game to be more like DND.

And I love it. I love seeing the cognitive dissonance. I love going at it with these die-hard fans. And it's pretty easy on my part. I don't need to get mean—all I need to do is point out very obvious things. And you know, no foul no harm—we keep going until one or both of us get sick of arguing about whatever specific thing we are arguing about.

Anyway, enough of my rant.

I want Daggerheart to succeed. I really do. I think Matt Mercer and friends are pretty good folks, and I find their story inspiring, and I would love to see them succeed. I hope that Daggerheart developers listen to the critical feedbacks, make the game better, and not try to push any weird narratives (like they did with Candela vs FitD).

#daggerheart #reddit #critical role #ttrpg

[love-geeky-fangirl]

After seeing some of @hydesjackiespuddinpop 's posts and having a chat with them, I realized that there is a pattern in fandoms where people tend to prefer the "bitchy" friend over the more down-to-earth "normal" friend. It is everywhere, all over teen shows especially. Rory and Paris, Serena and Blair, Summer and Marissa, Donna and Jackie... (Maddy and Cassie from Euphoria almost fall into this category but not quite because Maddy actually never did anything as bad to Cassie as she did to her.)

But the thing is that if you met these people in real life, you would run the opposite direction. Who would you prefer to be your boss- someone who refers to you as a number because she can't even be bothered learning your name, criticizes anything you do because nothing is ever good enough and overall creates a hostile and toxic atmosphere, or someone nice, friendly and down to earth?

Who would you rather be friends with- someone who looks down on you because you're not from the same social class and wants to make you her minion (aka slave) or someone who doesn't look at money and class and is nice to everyone?

Would you rather hang out with someone who constantly criticizes your looks and bosses you around or someone chill and down-to-earth?

Yes, I know these characters are entertaining and it's fun to watch them "drag" and "own" people but come on. And I know that if someone is generally a bad person, it stands out when they do something good once in a while, so that's why people tend to remember their good deeds more than of someone who is generally a good person. But still, acknowledge that in real life you wouldn't want to come anywhere near them. And while yes, Rory, Serena, Marissa and Donna made mistakes, they always tried to be good people instead of being just straight up mean.

#gilmore girls #anti paris geller #rory gilmore #anti blair waldorf #serena van der woodsen #gossip girl #that 70s show #donna pinciotti #anti jackie burkhart #for filtering purposes

[havenofcybele]

Some thoughts on feminism from a trans perspective

What has feminism done for trans people? This is, surprisingly, a question that isn’t often asked. But the answer is quite revealing: nothing, unless one wants to include negatives, in which case, a lot of bad things.

There’s an expectation for trans women that you’re supposed to be a feminist. So much as questioning feminism, or even expressing indifference to it, is frequently met by vitriol and hostility, typically expressed through misgendering, whether covert or overt. I’ve even had trans women say I deserve transphobia for not being a feminist. ‘Vitriol and hostility’ are really understatements of how tense other trans women can get when you don’t have the right opinion on this subject. The only possible outlet for criticism of feminism is criticism of TERFs, and transfeminists are extremely eager to point out that the TERFs are supposedly a minority, and hell, they’re probably not even real feminists anyway!

But again, my mind just returns to that question. What has feminism done for trans people? If you actually pose that to a transfeminist, they begin to stumble. They’ll stop talking to you, or they’ll deflect, or they’ll ignore the question and focus on something else you’ve said, or they’ll claim that somehow feminism laid the foundations for trans rights and that we don’t owe trans rights to the trans men and trans women who fought for them, or even to the researchers and surgeons who developed lifesaving transition-related care, but instead to activists who were fighting for unrelated concerns and who, by and large, were and are hostile to us.

What they’ll never do is actually name something substantive. I’m not saying individual feminists have never done anything substantive for trans people, but I can’t think of a single thing, and seemingly even transfeminists can’t either, otherwise they’d tell me. I can think of a large number of bad things feminists have and continue to do in regards to trans rights. Janice Raymond contributing to the removal of trans healthcare coverage under the Ronald Reagan administration of the United States, resulting almost certainly in the deaths of trans people, for example. Or the fact that gender recognition reform in the UK has been utterly derailed by feminists, or the fact that feminists have effectively destroyed youth transition resources in the UK. Or how about the time Sheila Jeffreys called trans people parasites to the Houses of Parliament? Feminists have been calling for the elimination of trans people since at least the second wave, constructing glossy looking pieces of academic tripe from The Transsexual Empire in 1979 to the Declaration on Women’s Sex-Based Rights in 2019. In my own homecountry, the people spearheading the anti-trans movement aren’t a bunch of far-right Handmaid’s Tale larpers, dreaming of a Gilead knock-off they hope to institute one day–they’re feminists.

Of course, I’m ready to hear the cry of ‘those are TERFs!’ or ‘those aren’t real feminists!’, well, where precisely are the real feminists? Again, what have feminists done that is good for trans people? Can you blame me for being antifeminist, when all the feminists I see having any influence on my life and the lives of my people, both now and in the past, are ones who want to eliminate us? At the very best, most feminists are utterly indifferent to trans issues, in which case, why should I support a movement indifferent to my suffering? At worst, most of them harbour transphobic viewpoints–not, perhaps, as toxic as your average TERF’s, but transphobic nonetheless, and such a conclusion is the one I lean to, considering how prevalent transphobic attitudes are in all areas of society, and my own anecdotal experiences.

What is interesting though, is that even if the correct choice is to support feminism despite its sordid history, the response to antifeminist or even just feminist-sceptical trans women is still insane. You think a movement which has been tarnished so badly by transphobia would be a little bit more understanding to those trans women who are reticent to interact with it, but instead all they receive is shaming, misgendering, and outright hostility. There aren’t even attempts to create dialogue around this issue, unless you first kiss the feminist ring and swear undying allegiance, in which case any dialogue you do attempt to make will be neutered from the start, set out entirely according to the terms of cis feminists. 

A retort might be that feminism means equal opportunity for women, or ending oppressive structures against women, or gender equality, or whatever else, and so the only reason you could be opposed to it is due to being a misogynist who hates women. This is a specious argument. Movements are defined by their members’ actions, goals, and political stances–not by a pithy, idealised definition which floats in a vacuum. Unless you transfeminists think that the only reason one might be opposed to MRAs is simply because one thinks men should have no rights?

In sum, I see no reason to support a movement that hates me and wants me gone, nor do I see any reason for my sisters to support it either. Antifeminism is the only path to true liberation for trans people, and I dream of the day most trans women shed this unhelpful ideology.

#trans #trans woman #transfeminism #feminism #trans rights #transgender #transgender rights #anti feminism #trans theory

[subjectsmile]

This text is an outburst about the bullying that exists in the sonic fandom about a completely idiotic subject: SHIPS, SORRY TO SAY ABOUT THIS, but I need to vent..

Sorry, I came to talk about this here on a social network, but unfortunately I don't have anyone to vent to, but I really need to say this otherwise I'm not going to keep it to myself, and something small can become big after a while, I'm sorry to say this but.The Sonic fandom is really rotten when it comes to respecting other people's tastes, it's simply one of the worst fandoms I've ever been in when it comes to respecting other people's tastes, I think it's second only to Deltarune and Undertale, even the fandom League of Legends, which is known as one of the most toxic fandoms, manages to be less toxic when it comes to respecting other people's tastes, don't get me wrong, I'm making this criticism a bit harsh because I simply can't keep it to myself anymore, and I'm mentioning these fandons because I'm part of them, since I'm Multfandom, and in addition to this lack of respect between the purposes of the fandom as a whole, I see this a lot among ship fans, seriously! I'm tired of being disrespected in groups and on social media just because of my personal taste for a ship, for example: I'm an admitted Sonadow shipper, and I was very well accepted in the Sonadow bubble, I met cool people, others I confess were really good strange and radical, but you know, everything has a bad side, even the things you like, but I ignored that since most of them were really cool fans as people, but the problem started when I thought it was a good idea to express my love for a ship in Facebook groups, man.. that hurt me a lot of comments I received(And this kind of thing doesn't just hurt me, I've found reports from other people on Twitter and Facebook of people reporting being bullied in these places):

"I believe you are strange"

"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"you're going to be weird"

"everyone knows that the only acceptable ship is Sonamy"

"Get off the internet"

"These wokes ruin everything, everything is gay now"

"Kill yourself and be born again, and come with more sense next time"

Well, I won't remember everything they said to me, and I don't even have the prints unfortunately, but I've suffered a lot of bullying in these groups, even on Twitter I've suffered bullying, so much so that I blocked this type of person, I don't even waste my time trying to argue anymore (although I have the ability to rebut the argument) I simply don't have the emotions for it anymore, I know that ships are a silly thing, and I really agree with that, but the hostile treatment that this fandom has on this topic I believe is not healthy for no one, especially the way some of these people react to it, it's simply too toxic...

E o que finalmente me deu vontade de vir aqui desabafar sobre isso foi um grupo de fandublagem que eu participo, lá eu dublo o Tails, no começo eu gostava de dublar lá e participar, mas o líder da equipe começou a querer dublar coisas da Sonamy e da Amy a dubladora também era fã, nada contra quem é fã da Sonamy, mas eu pessoalmente não gosto do ship, mas não falo sobre isso se a pessoa gosta, porque não quero ser uma desmancha-prazeres chato, eles dublam o que querem e não é problema meu, eu só gosto de justiça, se um ship pode ser uma opção de dublagem, outros também podem ser, então quando fui me manifestar para propor uma dublagem sonadow no canal, eles simplesmente riram de mim e disseram "nós só dublamos navios aceitáveis, como Sonamy, Knuxouge e Silvaze, o que você tem contra navios de canhão?" Eu estava tipo, canhão? canhão onde?! Não existe canhão no Sonic em relação à nave, todo mundo sabe disso, e simplesmente me ignoraram, mas aí tive que engolir em seco a falta de respeito deles pelo meu gosto pessoal e eu ter que aguentar fazer algo que não faço' Não gosto por eles, simplesmente me sinto sufocado, acho que só estou lá até hoje por causa de amigos meus que ainda dublam lá, porque perdi muito a vontade de dublar lá depois desse desrespeito comigo, outras coisas que aconteceram com para mim também foi o fato de ter sido expulso de um grupo do Sonic no Facebook, só porque eu gostava de sonadow e gostava de postar artes fofas (não existia nem SFNW, eram artes inofensivas) o dono do grupo foi até minha conta privada para dizer que meu ship era uma "bobagem" e que o grupo dele era um lugar "sério" que não poderia ter essas coisas para "confundir" os fãs "e só coisas de canhão são permitidas no grupo dele como o Sonamy (sim mais um fã do Sonamy sendo tóxico comigo dizendo que o único navio dele é permitido porque é "canhão" embora isso não seja verdade e sim, eu tenho um screenshot desse evento (e depois disso fui banido do grupo dele E a palavra "esculhambação" no print significa "porcaria" ou "imbecilidade"And Google translate didn't translate it completely because my language has a lot of slang)):

I know that not all Sonamy fans are like this, but if you are like this, please stop, this is an asshole attitude, And I don't say this to Sonamy fans, I say this to Sonadow fans too and to any fan of any ship, your ship is not better than the other and that doesn't give you the right to disrespect others and be a complete idiot!

To finish my rant about these toxic attitudes that I've seen as a fan, I close with a flourish with this nonsense I found on Twitter :

I'll end here, and if you've been through something similar, be it anything (or ship in this case), avoid this as much as possible, it's really annoying to deal with.

#sonadow #sonic the hedgehog #sonic and shadow #vent post #fandom ships #shipping #Sonamy #I This post is not an attack put down your weapons #This is not an attack on Sonamy #This is a criticism of toxic people and fans who bully #Sth #review blog #Respect the personal taste of others #There is no ship cannon in this franchise just accept it now #toxic people #toxicity #twitter screenshot #Facebook screenshot #Exposed as a homophobe on Twitter #Even though Sonamy and Sonadow were mentioned in this post This criticism is not exclusive to them #I needed to get it all out #sonic fandom #sonic ships #ships #gay ships #sth fandom

[bookshelfdreams]

Hi, I read your post about Izzy (very interesting by the way) but I want to add something… you talk about that scene of 2x06 on the deck and Izzy's behavior to Ed's line as toxic but I think there Izzy should be justified by the fact that he's drunk and still hurt from what Ed did to him, as much as most people in the fandom tend to full justify Ed's toxic behavior at the beginning of the season towards Izzy because he also isn't clear-headed (because on drugs) and hurt by Izzy's words at the end of season 1. Things are two: either we justify both theyr behavior because reasons or we condemn both. There are no double standards. That all I wanted to say, bye.

Thank you! <3

First of all

so jot that down. This is an Ed apologist household.

On a more serious note though, the post wasn't about justifying or excusing anything. The post was about the role Izzy serves in the narrative. To understand him, one has to first acknowledge that he is a narrative device in a story that isn't about him. It's not about making excuses or deciding whether a character was justified in saying x, y, or z, at least not for me and not right now. I did not point out that conversation as proof that Izzy is a bad person who deserved to die; I pointed it out because it shows that Izzy is still repeating old patterns of behaviour.

If we were told a story about Izzy's growth, this scene would have been a perfect opportunity to showcase that. Call back to one of the earliest Ed scenes, the one that established key information about his character (creative mind, whimsy, a desire for company), only this time have Izzy react with openness. Instead, they had him react with open hostility (despite this being weird and kinda jarring; after 02x05, you'd expect Izzy to be a little less miserable, wouldn't you?). That's significant. And yes, it does show that he's a toxic person but that's not criticism of him, that's just analysis.

#'there are no double standards' speak for yourself anon #like idk. i actually do not have to apply the same standards to ed as to izzy because izzy is a lot less complex than ed #due to him not being the protagonist #like. we arent at court here. #anonymaus #message #our flag means death #ED DID NOTHING WRONG #i hope im not coming across as overly hostile anon if so apologies i dont mean to antagonize you <3

[caliburn-the-sword]

tlc winter thoughts chapters 56-86

okay i didn't read 30 chapters in one day because i actually have a lot to study. and making these posts takes time. but also i took a break for like 2 days from reading because i couldn't stand the alpha stuff. here we go. like i've mentioned before, the closer i get to the climax, the less commentary i make

damn winter has reached a friendship level high enough for scarlet to start traumadumping her Tragic Backstory LMAO

look i get that this is meant to be serious but every single time the word alpha is uttered i feel nauseous LMAO

"I already have an alpha mate" i am RETCHING. i want to smash my head through a wall. i need to bleach my eyeballs and also my brain to get rid of any existence of it in my memory

something something the genetically engineered wolf soldiers are an analogy for toxic masculinity. i'm honestly really embarrassed that it took me THREE books (four including fairest) to get that. whoopsies. critical thinking and reading comprehension went out the window. winter slayed so hard by curing them of fantasy sexism lmao

cringing at all the howling. sorry. furry behaviour

"Wolf. Ze’ev. Her alpha mate." i should have stopped reading the day i hit scarlet and first saw all the alpha stuff. god this is so cringe. i can't take anymore scenes with scarlet in it as much as i love her. take me back to jacin or cinder's group

"Or maybe it was just Winter, who could make a rock fall in love with her if she smiled at it the right way." scarlet that's not a very heterosexual thing to think

"a girl of ice and snow" omg guys a new y/a title just dropped!!!

"She struggled to think of what to call herself. The pilot? The alpha female?" SCARLET STOPPPPPPPPPPPP

"He growled at her. Scarlet growled back." what if that was my last straw??? what if i just stopped reading this book right here right now

usually, i find the whole "we need you to fight with us. will you??" to a usually hostile group as really cringe and i'm not able to suspend my disbelief. but in this case it was REALLY well executed. i enjoyed it. that's a high honour i bestow, the only other time i liked it was in black panther (and that barely counts because the jibari weren't hostile, just reclusive)

hearing all the successes of the revolution is like music to my ears

omg iko is SO sweet to give up limbs for cinder <3

WING NUT. it's been so long since i've heard that delightful little insult <3

oh no there is no way that's jacin. that has to be a hallucination. or maybe someone is using their lunar gift on her

UH OH I DON'T TRUST OLD LADIES

why did it never occur to me that the sour apple lollies were eventually gonna be the poisoned apple?? i feel so stupid lmao

this is it winter is gonna get poisoned - OMG WITH LETUMOSIS I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED

NO NO NO SCARLET IS NOT ALLOWED TO DIE OF LETUMOSIS

YAY WOLF CHAPTER IT'S BEEN SO LONG

lone wolf ze'ev~ still just as bad as all that alpha stuff

ah with everything cinder and iko are saying about the timelines of chips being uploaded and malfunctions and adri disabling iko the first time, i'm guessing the patent for garan's design is stored in iko's chip or something

no. jail. wolf is not allowed to be all changed and brainwashed again. this is peeta mellark all over again. i wanted angst but not THIS much

"New chemicals and hormones pumping through his veins. Testosterone. Adrenaline. Pheromones." PHEREMONES??? JAILLLL. that said i will pick and choose and twist the words to suit my own meaning. because he's been injected with more testosterone i've decided he's trans. this is my next agenda i'm spreading, along with bisexual thorne and bisexual scarlet and kai x thorne. i will be the most insufferable damn person in this fandom

i literally cannot take wolf seriously being called a pup. i know this is dramatic. but i am retching

i appreciate kai's absolute dedication. his self sacrifice. he has got the weight of the world on his shoulders at 18. i'm close to turning 18 and am just reading a funky sci-fi book in the middle of class. i could never. he will be perhaps the only monarch i respect (however i would more greatly appreciate it if he declared a democracy at the end of the book)

not thorne and cress AGAIN. thorne EW. that is a MINOR. uh oh, that sounds like pedo-pedo-pedo-pedophilia

YAY IT'S JACIN AGAIN. IT'S BEEN SO LONG

random things that are canon that i'm filing away for later: cress and iko having the same shoe size

now iko's self sacrifice to get the vax

STATUE OF ARTEMIS. KSDJHCFNW i love references to greek mythology. chang'e when

HELP. i get that cress is very sheltered and upset here. but thorne was literally just kissed without consent by this lunar and it was COMPLETELY glossed over. not helping the "men want it" "men don't get raped" stereotypes. yikes. uncomfy as fuck

still praying against all odds that thorne rejects her because she's a young impressionable girl

EW. that was the most uncomfortable longest thing i've experienced ever in my life. gross. i wish thorne a very go to jail forever. i literally have a full blown crisis when i get a crush on someone that's only ONE YEAR younger than me. how the fuck is he literally ATTRACTED to someone 4 years younger than him, a literal baby. gross. thank goodness these are fictional people. reminding myself over and over that no one was actually hurt

cannot bring myself to feel a single bit of empathy for thorne getting dragged away by the lunars. idc. he can die so that he stops grooming cress. yikes

WINTER IS BEING WOKEN UP. EVERYONE IT'S HAPPENING THE SNOW WHITE MOMENT IS HAPPENING

"For the first time in her life, no one could say she was beautiful." vs jacin literally thinking about how beautiful winter was even when sick. i am physically ill. miss marissa meyer how could you do this to me. pay for my therapy

istg i'm not just saying this because i'm aussie like the diplomat but honestly it's SO embarrassing for adult characters to be outsmarted by teenagers. like how is this full grown adult not realising she'd be manipulated by a lunar if that's what a lunar wanted before kai did, EVEN if kai knows her and knows her to be a shell. context clues girlie

it's nice to see unusual characters like kai and cress interact. it's very sweet

yay!! kai knows cinder is alive now

torin is such a goddamn hero. why do i sense he's going to get killed for the delay tho. praying for his safety. i don't like these death flags

YES FINALLY A LUNAR CARVING OF A WOMAN CARRYING A RABBIT. A JADE RABBIT. IT'S CHANG'E. YIPPEEEEEE. admittedly i don't know the other moon gods. once i have the time and am interested i will defo look them up

YAY IKO IS BACK

i love that even through wolf's absolute hunger and mental torment he's still able to recognise that kai absolutely does not want to get married and sees his misery. some small part of him still sees kai as a friend who he should be concerned for relieved that wolf hasn't forgotten his mother as much as i hate to see aimery

VIVA LA REVOLUTION BITCHES

i hope to see adri and pearl suffer more

scarlet and wolf reunion <3 the alpha thing ruined it

things i need on a transcendent level: cinder to user her lunar gift to make levana hallucinate dancing in red hot shoes. i have no thoughts just vibes. i sense that the next post will be my last winter reactions post

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees @shellyseashell @luna-maximoff-22 @queenjazz7 @mtmousie @dramatic-jellybean

#the lunar chronicles #tlc #marissa meyer #cinder linh #carswell thorne #tlc wolf #emperor kai #cress darnel #scarlet benoit #tlc winter #winter hayle blackburn #jacin clay #tlc iko #jacinter #ze'ev kesley

[queenaeducan]

1, 15, 25 for both Anders and Gimli

Gimli first!

Why do you like or dislike this character?

I like both versions of Gimli so I'm answering for both.

I like film Gimli b/c I think he brings levity that I've found lacking in the chapters that don't have hobbits in them. Not that the hobbits don't have serious moments, but even in the death march to Mordor Sam has made me laugh, and Merry and Pippin both bring levity to the latter half of their section of Two Towers. In the films, Gimli fills that niche, sometimes to the detriment of his more serious character moments, but I do still appreciate him for it.

In the books I like how he's willing to change his mind, and endure things for the sake of his friends. Fangorn clearly makes him uncomfortable but Legolas wants to go so he'll go (if Legolas goes with him to see the pretty rocks in Helm's Deep). :') I do also like his stubborn moments, like pouting about being blindfolded in Lothlorien. He's definitely my fave part of the Aragorn-Legolas-Gimli chapters.

What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

Legolas/Gimli is where it's at. The only place it could ever be at.

What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

So my first impression was the films. I watched Fellowship Extended back in 2001 unaware that it was a sequel to my much-beloved Hobbit, and was super excited about everything I recognised from the book in the films. Gimli was immediately like family as the son of Gloin and I treasured him.

And I still treasure him. It's been fun getting to know his book counterpart again after having only read Fellowship back in high school.

And now Anders! Putting him under the cut b/c I get critical of him, although I will preface this with saying that I think he's one of the most interesting characters in DA2 (which has several interesting characters so!)

Why do you like or dislike this character?

I like how committed he is to the cause he serves. DA2 has several characters who recognise the broken things around them, but don't move to stop it. Not always for bad reasons, sometimes people are just trying to survive. Anders being steadfast in his goals is admirable, and one of the things I like best about him.

I dislike how he treats others, however. Especially Merrill, who is my girl. He can be as quick to judge and condemn as the Chantry, whose views still colour a lot about how he sees the world, from his view on blood magic to his limited perspective on spirits. That being said, I do think this is one of my favourite parts of his character lmao. It feels very realistic based on my experience in progressive circles is that people still possess regressive views.

What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

I really enjoyed my Rivalmance Pro-Templar Hawke playthrough for the sheer toxicity of it all. My ships tend to be the more wholesome sort, but the energy of the Rivalmance ship is undeniably interesting.

For a less toxic, but still tragic romance, I like Karl/Anders and have read some sweet stuff for them in the past.

What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

In my first playthrough of the series, I started Awakening and recruited him, but didn't finish before I moved onto DA2 (my Awakening glitched and I couldn't do Sigrun's personal quest, which bummed me out so I just moved on). I honestly didn't get a strong impression of Anders in that game, but I really liked his nose and thought I might romance him in DA2, only to be turned off by him pretty quickly. Some of his hostility and caution was warranted, but the aforementioned way he treats other people didn't leave a good impression.

Now, I definitely appreciate and understand his character more. I can't bring him around with me in every playthrough, but the ones where I do he always has an important place in the party.

#tas talks #ty for the ask!

[roses-edge]

I'm the ex radfem cis lesbian from @/redditreceipts's post. I left her another ask to go more in-depth on my time as a radfem but it was very surface level, and I understand she may take a while to get to it.

Concerning your post, firstly, I cannot tangentially prove anything. You literally take my word or you don't. Secondly, whether or not I was a "real" radfem or not, I guess that depends on your own definition. I was in radfem spaces, I hung out with other self-proclaimed radfems, I criticized men/hated all males/etc etc. Even now, I still recognize that the male social class has unfair privileged. I'm not some patriarchy denier. The reason I'm "ex-radfem" is because, bluntly put, the space was so toxic and horrible for my clinical paranoia. When you're in an echo chamber of "all men bad" it bleeds into your mental state. Yes, the male social class is fucked up, but with what I was constantly hearing about, it made me believe that all male-born people are inherently evil for their sex. In turn, this made me extremely upset and paranoid in the world. I was literally assuming the worst of every man I met, even though statistically I've been harassed sexually and generally by more females than males.

Anyways, the only reason I stopped being radfem is because it was hurting my mental health to be so paranoid and hateful all the time. I'm not saying that's how it is for everyone. That's just how it was for me and I wanted to share that with a blogger who I like. I found it was more beneficial for me to navigate life with a nuanced view on things, because extremism and generalization in any direction isn't a sound way to navigate life, I feel.

BTW if it matters, I am heavily GNC and critical of patriarchal shit like makeup and etc. and don't use any of it. I literally just spend my energy fighting for women's rights as opposed to badmouthing males.

...And again, I am not saying that is a trademark of radfems. But you yourself must know that if you look through the tags there are quite the number of hostile statements. I can respect that everyone has the right to express whatever they want however they want. More power to them. It just was not for me. I will fight for female-sex rights my own way.

If you want to discount what I'm saying because I don't sound radfem enough, or that it's my fault for falling into a hate spiral, etc, idc. We are strangers after all. You're free to think what you want. Glad it works for you, it just simply didn't for me. Please have a good week.

First I must say thank you for explaining yourself.

I am always skeptical to see an "ex" of any political sphere as there are grifters in every space. Which is why I understood where redditreceipts was coming from when she said she doesn't think it is productive to assume that everyone is lying - but I think having skepticism for any claim online Is healthy and I hope you don't take offense.

And honestly, you don't have to be in our spaces to be a radfem. It sounds like you are still one tbh, but if you don't claim that and would consider yourself a feminist instead because your activism isn't involved with radfem issues, then that's fine as well.

I completely understand that the messages spread can be detrimental to some - to me, it's not only a place to vent but also a place to raise our class consciousness. If for the sake of your mental health you decide to stay away from the more venting side (where we talk about our hatred of males) then that's valid. Constantly consuming negative messages is bad for anyone, especially for those prone to paranoia.

So, thank you for fighting for women in your own way and a safer way for yourself.

#radblr #radical feminism #terfblr #terf #gender critical #anon

[demi-shoggoth]

2024 Reading Log, pt 3

Not a lot of books read this year by my usual pace.

11. What I Hate from A to Z by Roz Chast. This is basically a kid’s book for adults, namely a list of grievances and anxiety triggers with cartoon illustrations. My mom loaned it to me, it took like ten or fifteen minutes to read, and was a fun little lark. Roz was clearly a morbid paranormal kid like I was, as some of the entries include alien abduction, premature burial and spontaneous human combustion. Man, I used to be so scared of spontaneous human combustion.

12. The Book of Invasive Species by Kit Carlson PhD and Aaron Carlson. To be perfectly frank, I don’t get this book. Not the idea of a book about invasive species, even a “100 species invasive in the USA and Canada” book. But this book specifically. If the organism in question is invasive in parts of the US but native to others, it doesn’t always specify where it’s native to and invasive to. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. It has a chapter for microbes separately from fungi, but covers potato blight in the fungus chapter while simultaneously addressing that it’s not a fungus. It covers multiple viral diseases that have not caused widespread sickness in the USA or Canada, like Ebola, Lassa virus and MERS, while leaving out ones that have, like COVID-19. I wanted to like this book, and it does have some good information, especially about invasive plants. But it is really sloppy, and that really bothers me.

13. War over Lemuria by Richard Toronto. Speaking of books I wanted to like more than I did… This book is about the intertwined lives of Richard Shaver and Ray Palmer, who between them created a major SF sensation in the 40s, dubbed by Palmer “the Shaver Mystery”. This has been overlooked by a lot of critics, fans and SF scholars, because Shaver was a paranoid schizophrenic whose stories were heavily influenced by his delusions, and Ray Palmer was a culture jammer of the highest order who wanted to promote these stories as being True and that pissed off a big chunk of fandom. This book aims to rectify that and put the Shaver Mystery back into context as being one of the important events of SF, which it is. But it goes too far, in that it basically functions as an apologia for Ray Palmer. Palmer was a very influential man, but also a very bad one, who spent the better part of his life exploiting the hell out of Shaver. This book seeks to minimize his cruelty at every turn. So as a portrait of a toxic friendship, this book is an interesting take; one that doesn’t seem to realize that the friendship is toxic. As a portrait of toxic fan culture, it works better. And frankly, it makes me want to read Shaver Mystery stories. Good thing they’ve gotten nice editions relatively recently.

14. Basilisks and Beowulf: Monsters in the Anglo-Saxon World by Tim Flight. This is the best book I’ve read this year so far. It talks about how Anglo-Saxons viewed the world, and viewed monsters, at least with what has been left to us in their writing. As such, it covers everything from completely mundane animals like wolves and whales all the way up to demons, because these all fit into the category of monster to the Anglo-Saxon mind. It also talks about how the Anglo-Saxons were a culture obsessed with boundaries and definitions, who saw wilderness as inherently hostile and who sought to impose order and civilization on it at every turn. The book doesn’t go so far as to make this point directly, but it makes a compelling argument as to why England, of all countries, was the one that was the most determined to reshape the entire planet to their vision through colonialism and imperialism. Also, it’s a fun fast read with cool stories about monsters and an excellent analysis of Beowulf besides.

15. Around the Ocean in 80 Fish And Other Sea Life by Dr. Helen Scales. The title is awkward, let’s get that out of the way. It’s part of a series, and only 45 or so of the 80 creatures covered are actual fish. But the book itself is very nice! It talks about various marine animals, their biology and their cultural impact, with an eye towards a general audience but including enough science (including recent research) that someone with a biology background like me still learned some things. And it has lovely watercolor paintings on basically every page. I’m probably never going to read it again, but I do want to keep it in my classroom as something that high school students could use as a reference or a thing to read during downtime.

#reading log #marine biology #fish #anglo-saxon #folklore #monster book #shaver mystery #paranormal #vintage sf #invasive species #ecology #spontaneous human combustion

[wearethewinx]

Riven is autistic and I will prove it: part 1 of many

Ok so the thing is: people are aware that autistics often come across as abrasive. But what they don't consider is that 'being accidentally rude because we don't catch social cues' is not the only reason for this. Another reason, a very under-discussed reason, is that traumatized people often lash out as a self-defense mechanism

Autistic people are routinely emotionally traumatized in childhood. A great example of this is that autistic kids are less likely to notice/understand when we’re being teased, which can make us hypersensitive to being made fun of, and that hypersensitivity can look like being overly hostile/unable to take a joke/paranoid

Riven's struggles with toxic masculinity compound the issue. ‘Being made fun of’ is even worse if being perceived as an alpha male is important to you- and you might criticize him for feeling that way, but, again, this can easily be an autism thing: latching onto templates for how to act. Autists LOVE scripts. They make social interaction easier for us. BUT! They can also be destructive! And Riven very clearly shows he is uncomfortable with his own behavior when he literally has a nightmare all about his fear that he's an awful person

"Well maybe he should've chosen a better template" he goes to a military school. He is explicitly economically lowerclass. He's already used to being looked down on and assumed the worst of by age 16. It's painfully obvious he has a shitty home life. Literally everyone agrees his mom is either dead or walked out on him. And I know it's super trendy right now to say all teenage boys with bad opinions are being evil on purpose or whatever, but FRANKLY, I think 'having extremely shitty formative years' is a valid reason to be a little bit unpleasant when you're SIXTEEN YEARS OLD

#winx #winx club #riven tag #THAT'S RIGHT HE'S GETTING HIS OWN TAG

[thesoftboiledegg]

🚩 Relationship red flags:

They say "I know that I do [abusive behavior], but it's just because [excuse]." They're planting the idea in your mind that their abuse is acceptable under the guise of admitting their flaws.

You feel afraid of them (their excuse is usually "I just don't take any shit from anyone!")

They make you feel bad about yourself and downplay your achievements, typically implying that they "just want the best for you" or "want to see you do better." Of course, nothing you do is ever good enough.

They're rude. This sounds obvious, but most abusers slip it in gradually instead of blowing up out of nowhere. They throw in a rude or sarcastic remark in an ordinary conversation. As time goes on, they do it increasingly often until you feel like shit about yourself all the time. You look back and realize that they were slowly conditioning you to accept their abuse.

They pull away after lovebombing you. It can be hard at first to see if they're doing it intentionally or if you're just over the honeymoon phase, but you start to notice that the formerly warm, loving person is increasingly cold and distant. They even recant some of the things they said, such as saying that you eat like a pig instead of the "I totally get it, I make a mess when I eat, too! That just means that you're enjoying it!" that you heard before. They throw in the occasional gift or compliment to keep you engaged, but their kindness becomes increasingly rare.

Lovebombing itself can be hard to detect, but be wary of anyone who's a little too perfect. They worship the ground that you walk on and want to treat you like royalty (that's unhealthy on its own.) They gush about how they want to spend all their time with you, you're the perfect partner, they'd do anything for you, you're "twin souls who found each other," they've never met anyone like you, blah blah. Sometimes, they get you to reveal personal information, mistakes, flaws and things that you feel guilty about by leading by example. Other times, you look back and realize that they know all about your past but you don't know much about them. Either way, they weren't acting as your therapist--they were collecting information to use against you.

They suddenly switch personalities. They were your dream person when you met them: sweet, funny, affectionate, loving and accepting. But the second that you do something that they don't like, they take it all away. They become cold and hostile to make you go to excessive lengths to please them, thinking that they'll turn back into the loving person that they were before. Occasionally, they'll reward you for doing what they want by giving you a glimpse of their old personality, but then they snatch it away so that you don't get comfortable. For God's sake, if you find yourself stuck in that reward/punishment loop, just block them and run.

They say "Thanks for supporting me through all this" in the midst of their abuse (usually when they're going through a hard time) to make you feel guilty for thinking about leaving.

They give you the classic "I've just been stressed!" after going off. It doesn't matter why they're stressed--it's never OK to take it out on you.

They get mad when you set boundaries. If you tell someone that they made you uncomfortable, the correct answer is "Oh, OK! I'll do better next time. Thanks for telling me." Not throwing a fit, saying that you're too sensitive or going "Well, you do this and this and this," blah blah. They don't want you to set boundaries because you might realize that they're toxic.

They criticize all your friends and relatives. I realize that other relationships can be toxic, but if they do that with everyone, there's a good chance that they're trying to isolate you.

When you bring up something that bothers you, they launch into "oh my god im such a piece of shit, why do you stick with me, im such a bad person, i ruin everything!!" That's not an apology. It's an emotionally abusive guilt trip designed to turn it around on you and make you comfort them.

They exaggerate what you said when you bring up an issue. For example, when you say "Hey, it makes me feel uncomfortable that you keep talking to that person who's flirting with you," they respond with "Okay, I'll just never talk to anyone again!" That's another guilt trip.

No relationship is perfect, and everyone fucks up in a while, but...just be wary if you notice any of these behaviors. Additionally, keep in mind that platonic relationships can be just as abusive as romantic relationships. I experienced every single one of these situations with "friends," not romantic partners.

Also, abusers can act normal. You're going to have civil, normal and even supportive conversations once in a while just because that's what happens when you talk to someone regularly. Don't let that fool you into thinking that the nice version is the "real" them. The monster is the real them.

#'you're saying this with a ricky sanchez profile pic' yeah yeah I don't wanna hear it #emotional abuse #relationship advice #mental abuse #relationship #toxic relationship #toxic traits #abusive traits #text

[mooncaps]

When I first saw this video in my recommended, I ignored it, waving it off the same way as some of the comments she highlights. The title stuck in my head though and I finally decided to track it down and watch it. She makes good points and it's honestly a tough thing to navigate. There are real systemic problems where men are favored in many ways, but at the same time, as she points out, your average man didn't create those problems, didn't ask for male privilege, and doesn't want to hurt anyone. Some are unwilling to examine their unconscious biases, and that's a real problem, but it won't be solved with hostility. If you've got a right-wing pundit falsely selling you confidence and a left-wing pundit greeting you with genuine beratement, it's not hard to see why so many men are falling for the right-wing rhetoric.

And for the people who dismiss loneliness as men just wanting to get laid: As an AMAB asexual, when I talk about loneliness I'm not talking about getting laid. I'm talking about support and community. That's part of basic human survival. No human has ever gotten through life alone. We're a social species. The individual is effectively a powerless unit. Community is what moves human society forward. How we care for each other is what defines us.

And I'm infuriated by the right-wing bad faith actors of the world who prey on those vulnerabilities. As she says in the video, neither side offers real help. And I align with left-wing values. I recognize that those priorities are for the betterment of society for all of us. I recognize that feminism and deconstructing toxic masculinity is more helpful to men than simply preserving corrupt systems. And I think that's a key issue. I was brought around to those values by patient feminists (back in the LiveJournal days) who were willing to answer my dumb questions and educate me about things I didn't understand. (Gabrielleabelle, wherever you are these days, you altered the course of my life.)

So many of the replies highlighted in this video are eager to criticize men, but so few offer any real advice on how men can become better. (And the ones that do offer advice are offering advice on tangential side issues, at best. If respecting consent were the solution, then my asexuality should've already solved the issue for me.) Are people just looking for a group they're allowed to hate so they have an outlet for their (justifiable) anger at the corrupt system? Is there a standard men can meet where they'll finally be good enough, deserving of community, support, or any form of love? Or will the goalposts just keep shifting?

"The best criticism doesn't trap an employee or child in a dead end. It gives them an escape route." -Unattributed- (I probably copied this quote down from a cryptogram puzzle website; I don't know the source.)

#social issues #stuff about me #asexuality #queer posts #toxic masculinity #feminism #politics #transgender #(she mentions trans issues in the video if you're wondering why I put that tag here) #Youtube