Chapter 2: Kiddo
Chapter Summary: A week's gone by with Mallory spending her time acclimating to her surroundings and growing closer to two, specific, members of the Coe family.
Spoilers, probably.
Content warning: Parental trauma (#everybody's got mommy issues)
The week that followed Mallory joining Constellation was…a mixed bag.
Vasco was still Vasco; direct, analytical and oblivious to any hints of human emotion.
Noel, the woman who helped her get a room to herself, was kind towards Mallory but still kept her distance. Mallory had gathered, from separate conversations that Noel was a protégé of Sarah’s—the woman who went to get Barret and also the woman who had decided to keep Mallory medically asleep. So, as kind as Noel was, there was an unspoken lack of trust on both parties' parts.
Walter also gave Mallory a wide berth anytime she was in the same room as him. She figured he was old, rigid and unwilling to adapt to change—the usual reaction she was used to from men like him in the time she came from. It saddened her a bit to know that part hadn’t changed, however when she momentarily expressed this opinion to Sam, he was confident that Mallory was getting the wrong impression of Walter.
‘Sure, he’s cold and a little wrinkly, but his heart is in the right place.’ Mallory recalled Sam saying as she had watched Walter with hesitation. She was also reminded by Sam that, without Walter’s money, Constellation wouldn’t be able to achieve nearly what they have.
While all other new members she met treated Mallory with contempt, Matteo swung in the complete opposite direction. He looked at Mallory as if she was a cosmic blessing, a sign of god or a higher power.
It was the only time she preferred the idea of being sedated.
Cora & Sam remained to be the only people she felt truly comfortable around. Cora and Mallory had spent, much to the pre-teen’s delight, the majority of their time reading. Even having come up with their agreement on sharing facts about their worlds with the other. Between her readings with Cora, Sam was set on teaching Mallory some other, practical, basics of their world.
He went over spacesuits, wearing them, putting them on and taking them off, checking seals and ensuring that her ‘ancient head wouldn’t explode’ in space. He also showed her how to craft basic materials, their advanced medication packs and stims, and the incredible workstations that made it easy to craft.
Even, once, Sam accompanied her into New Atlantis to purchase some materials and get her some clothes she would feel more comfortable wearing. It was marvellous how the city looked and, more than once, Mallory caught Sam watching her with a similar wonder and marvel that she revered the city with.
They were expecting to see Sarah within a few days of her leaving, but she had sent an update that Barrett had been taken by the Crimson Fleet and that she was tracking down the ship, with Vlad’s help—the Russian man in Constellation’s space station, ‘The Eye’. Sarah also mentioned going to find Andreja for backup—that message had been five days ago and it was expected for her to be gone for a few more days from now.
It was noticeable to Mallory how worried Sam had become since Sarah left, and she couldn’t help but wonder, if it weren’t for her, would he go help Sarah?
She tried her best not to sit on that guilt.
“What’s wrong?” Cora asked, pulling Mallory from her deep thoughts and reflections.
“Oh, uh, just lost in a thought,” Mallory replied, quickly putting on a smile to reassure Cora. She accepted the smile, but Mallory was unsure if she accepted her half-truth as well.
“Dad’s been doing that a lot lately, too. Must be an adult thing, huh?” She asked, her focus back to the stack of books she was rifling through in search of a specific one she claimed Mallory would want to read. Mallory hid her smile at the few times Sam had drifted off into thought, something that always managed to make her smile—as it did, even now, and even without his presence.
Mallory curled in her lips as she lightly cursed Sam for having such a bizarre and unhelpful hold on her.
“Well, as you get older, your brain only fills with more information, more thoughts. So…it can get a bit mucky sometimes.” Cora gave a sickly look towards Mallory.
“Ugh, that sounds awful.” Mallory smiled as Cora immediately went back to her piles of books. “Okay, don’t tell my dad that I have this book or are giving it to you, but—” She turned around with a large, brown, book in her hand. On the front, Mallory could read the golden etching of ‘Solomon Coe’. “It’s about a man, from Earth, who settled the city my Dad and I are from.”
“And related to?” Mallory added, easily putting two and two together. Cora blushed and half hid her face behind the book, her body lightly rocking, side to side, as a kid naturally would when they anticipated being in trouble.
“Yeah…” She slowly said, her gaze finally locking onto Mallory who only gave her a soft smile of reassurance. Cora slightly lowered the book. “Dad doesn’t really like talking about it and always tells me that I shouldn’t pay attention to where our last name came from and that it doesn’t mean anything. But…I don’t know…” Her voice drifted off.
Mallory reached out her hand to accept the book, Cora giving a shy and grateful smile as she handed it over. Again, Mallory gave Cora another smile of encouragement, realizing and ensuring to remember that despite all of her bright aptitude, she was still very much a kid.
She took a deep breath, putting the book in her lap before reaching out her hand to Cora, who quickly took it and sat down on the ground next to Mallory.
Among her other observations Mallory had made since joining this group, another she had made was the complete absence of Cora’s mother, not only in person but also in conversation. She was not spoken about, and Mallory had no idea if it was due to her mother’s death or abandonment, but it was abundantly clear to her that Cora craved that presence around her.
Her father was great, in so many ways, but it would be impossible for him to be able to fill both parental roles in Cora’s life.
Mallory was, in no way, wishing to fill that role for Cora either—she couldn’t. Her entire plan was to return to her time, so her moments in this future were nothing but limited, temporary.
Still, she would happily be like a big sister, a comrade and a helpful, positive, presence in Cora’s life. Mallory would, in essence, only be doing what Cora was doing for her as well.
Just, very different problems.
Mallory squeezed Cora’s hand before letting it go, seeing the kid’s posture slump into herself.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Mallory asked Cora, who slowly looked up towards the adult.
“Were your parents ever like this?” She asked her, pulling her knees up to her chest.
“Like what?” Mallory inquired, watching Cora slowly wrap her arms around her legs to hold them closer to her chest.
“Not telling you the whole truth.” She grumbled, her chin plopping onto the top of her knees. Mallory gave a soft inhale, before looking down at the book in her lap, her fingers tracing over the name ‘Coe’.
If they were that famous, she could imagine the pressure it brought, and she could easily speculate why Sam would stress to Cora she didn’t need to feel that burden.
But she also knew how it felt to be led on by parents with half-truths, or omitted details. Mallory understood that pain just as well, if not better.
Her parents were a topic she hated discussing and avoided in every possible facet of life, but seeing Cora slumped into herself did something within Mallory that almost compelled her to share.
“Well, my parents weren’t that great, if I am to be honest.” Mallory slowly informed Cora, pulling her thoughts away from the book and Sam. “My father was a kind man, but weak in many ways and my Mother, well…” Cora lifted her chin off of her knees and gave Mallory a compassionate look. “My mother would never tell me the truth about anything, really, and there was nothing in her life that I was ever more important than.”
“I know what that feels like,” Cora grumbled again, this time the side of her face almost slamming into her knees. Mallory felt her heart break for the kid at that moment, knowing now that her latter suspicions of her mother were true; abandonment. She reached out and softly rubbed Cora’s back for a short moment.
“I’m so sorry, kiddo.” Mallory tried her best to comfort her, to soften the pain, but she knew, all too well, that there was only one person who would be able to partially heal that wound. And that person was, apparently, never there to do it.
However, there was a small spark in her heart when she saw Cora’s lips twitch into a smile at the nickname Mallory had endearingly given her. At first, she had protested, insisting that she is officially a pre-teen, but when Mallory explained how it was a term of endearment—and gave the option for her to stop—Cora insisted on it.
She also insisted on, ironically, nicknaming Mallory ‘Lee’. However, she used it less often than Mallory used hers.
“What about your dad?” Cora asked after a short pause. Mallory immediately smiled, allowing a small exhale of air as she thought of all the wonderful things about her father and suddenly saw a mirror between both of their parental figures.
“He was always quick to make excuses for her, despite usually being the one to tell me that she wouldn’t be there, or wouldn’t be attending some event of mine. That was really the only time he ever lied to me, was to protect her image.” Mallory saw a flash of sadness pass through Cora’s expression. “I think he just didn’t want me to dislike my own mother.” She softly added, saying it more for Cora’s sake than hers.
Mallory already despised her mother and had felt irreparably so for a long time, even going as far as having refused to attend or be a part of her funeral. She left it to the care home to arrange but still ensured to pay the fees. Mallory even filed a restraining order against her mother once her father passed, only to ensure that she couldn’t attend his funeral.
But their venomous relationship went both ways.
Her mother, however, managed to get the last dig.
Mallory never expected anything from the will of her parent’s estate. It was no surprise that her mother left everything to the man she was having an affair with for decades, by the time her father had passed. However, the calculated witch had strategically ensured to leave Mallory one item, to ensure she could not contest the will—not that she would.
It was the letter, containing a single dollar bill, where written her mother's final venomous, hateful, words ‘You were my biggest mistake and worst failure’.”
For god’s sake, the wretched woman gave Mallory her name because its origin meant ‘unlucky’!
But, when comparing situations, Mallory was well aware her mother had been a special type of an evil narcissist and, thankfully in that regard, their parental circumstances were very different. Plus, Cora was still young enough to not have a lasting negative impression, so long as her mother didn’t keep her feeling abandoned or less important.
“Did you?” Cora slowly asked after Mallory’s prolonged silence, trapped in the terrible flashbacks from her childhood.
“Did I what?” Mallory asked, finding herself groggy as she was pulled back into focus.
“Dislike your mom.” Cora clarified, her voice and presence small.
“She wasn’t a good person, Cora.” Mallory quickly stated, in a tone that conveyed it wasn’t a feeling but a fact. “It would take an unreasonable amount of resilience and compensation of self to be able to care for a woman like her.” Mallory forced a smile, both trying to not bring Cora further down, while also trying to think kindly of her father instead of judging him. “I’m sure the same cannot be said about yours, my dear.” She softly added, Cora giving a small but firm nod of agreement.
“She saves a lot of people’s lives, it’s…why she isn’t around a lot or has to reschedule. But I understand, she has to save people. It’s really important.” Cora spoke softly, audibly reassuring herself to wash over the pain. Not being able to bear seeing her in more distress, Mallory quickly tried to think of a way to brighten her back up.
“There is a well-known saying from my time…” Mallory began, baiting Cora with her words and seeing it immediately catch her attention. She loosened her grip and watched Mallory with a hint of excitement. “It’s that two things can be true at the same time.” Cora gave a small laugh.
“What? How is that possible?” She asked with a smile, her head still resting on her knees but Mallory could already tell she was more relaxed.
“Well, for instance…I can love Tomato Soup but hate tomatoes. Or…” Mallory hummed as she tried to think of another silly thing to compare before she wanted to get to the main item. “That I can be born 337 years ago and still look like I’m 36.” Cora laughed harder at that one, Mallory waiting for her to calm down as she smiled softly at her. “It also means that,” she started softly, “your mom has a very important job that requires her focus and efforts to save lives, and you can still be sad and miss spending time with her.” Cora smiled at Mallory, a quick glint in the kid’s eye telling Mallory that she had caught onto what she was trying to do.
“Did you at least like your dad?” Cora questioned, redirecting their conversation. Mallory smiled, thinking fondly of her father, and—almost unable to help herself—Cora’s dad, too.
“I loved my father deeply,” Mallory said, trying her best to keep her mind from drifting to Sam. “He was many things to me, but most importantly, he was the person who wanted me to dream big,” Mallory laughed as she remembered her father’s fabled saying, “to ‘shoot for the stars’, is what he always told me to do.”
Cora laughed, too, finding amusement in the same irony as Mallory, before both women’s smiles faded.
“I’m sure he would be astounded to hear of where I am now,” Mallory added with a bittersweet smile, dreadfully missing her father and the advice he would give her—although he probably would tell her to never come back and follow her dreams. “What he ensured for me, Cora,” Mallory continued, once again forcing herself out of her deep thoughts, “and what I think your father is trying to ensure for you by not locking your future to this name,” Mallory grasped the spine of the book, “is that who you came from does not depict where you will go. You are a Coe, and that history is, without a doubt, yours and also yours to choose what to do with it. Does that make sense?”
Cora slowly sat up, unwrapping her arms from her legs and quickly using her sleeves to wipe the few tears that had fallen throughout their conversation.
“Yeah, I think so,” Cora said with a small nod. “I guess…I guess I just worry that…what if I do want to be an explorer like Solomon, or like my Dad! Do you think he would be mad at me?”
“Gods no, kid—Cora,” Mallory grabbed the girl's hands within hers, lowering her gaze to emphasize her seriousness, “it only took my first encounter with the two of you to understand that your dad is so unbelievably proud of you. So long as that is what you want to do, I can’t see him not believing in you, or supporting you. However,” Mallory softly cautioned, “I would also encourage you to talk to him about this, okay? I’m sure he would be thrilled if you do.”
Thinking of Cora’s father, again, Mallory looked at the clock in Cora’s room to notice, to her shock, she was very late for her scheduled training with him.
“I’m late for class, kid,” Mallory said with a smile, referencing another inside joke of theirs. “We’ll catch up later, okay?” Cora nodded as Mallory got up.
“Sounds good, just, um, can you promise not to tell my dad any of this?” Mallory looked back at Cora, miming locking her lips and throwing away the key.
“Consider it a part of our Girl Code, okay? Whatever is discussed down here, stays with us.” Cora smiled brightly at Mallory. “No boys allowed.”
“Awesome, yeah,” Cora giggled a bit, “no boys allowed.” She repeated with a wide smile—Mallory finding great joy in realizing Cora was going to annoy the crap out of her dad with that saying. “Well, have fun learning with my dad.” Cora chimed, being naively encouraging to Mallory while being equally oblivious to the ‘fun’ she had thought of having with her father.
Looking towards the floor, clutching the book of Solomon Coe to her chest, finding her mind slipping into introspection, Mallory walked only a few paces away from Cora’s door before seeing a pair of leather boots in front of her. Slowly her eyes travelled up, taking in every inch of Sam before getting to see his softened expression. He lightly placed a finger to his lips, signalling for Mallory to be quiet, before slowly turning to walk away from Cora’s room.
Mallory silently followed him until they were in Constellation’s workshop.
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, you were late for the lesson so I figured you were with Cora,” Sam admitted, a sheepish, guilty, hint to his expression.
“How much did you hear?” Sam awkwardly stretched, resting a hand on the back of his neck as his face scrunched together, as if in pain or anticipating some.
“Uhm…quite a lot.” He slowly admitted.
“And you didn’t think to interrupt or announce your presence?” Mallory asked him, shocked and angry from feeling like her privacy had been violated, along with Cora’s.
“I, look, I panicked, okay? Cora’s never spoken to me about that stuff, I mean…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just didn’t want to her bottle that back up if I interrupted.” Mallory frowned, angry that she had to agree with Sam’s actions and reasoning despite it meaning he knew some very intimate details about her that she hated sharing.
“Her mother sounds like a piece of work, to put it nicely.” Mallory spat venomously, Sam immediately grimacing at her tone.
“Yeah, Lillian can be…difficult. I just wish she would actually show up for Cora—I’m honestly close to just not letting it happen anymore.” Sam, again, looked lost in thought before physically shaking his head and looking back at Mallory. “Look, I don’t want to drag you into all of this stuff. That’s not what this is about, nor is it your mess to deal with, I just…I really appreciate how you treat my daughter. I know it means a lot to her, but…” Sam gave a visible and tense swallow, “it also means a heck of a lot to me, too.”
God, the way he looked at her in that moment…Mallory could have keeled over her heart was pounding so vigorously. She was sure she either went pale or crimson as well, as Sam quickly adverted his eyes, giving another awkward, and nervous, rub to the back of his neck.
“I don’t do it for you.” Mallory quietly added, hoping that those words would provide some distance between her mind and heart—what she knew she had to do and what she had recently grown desperate to have. However, when Sam gave his stupid laugh and flashed his addictive smile towards her, she knew it did nothing but ignite that fiery desire inside of her.
“Heh,” he laughed, turning to face her again, “I’m glad.” He added, the slight husk in his tone being prominent in those two words. An awkward silence lingered between them before Sam, possibly feeling obliged to, filled the silence with, most likely, the first thought that came to his head. “You have kids?” He asked, his expression immediately cringing at the words he spoke. “Sorry, I shouldn’t—”
“I don’t,” Mallory answered, not giving anything further than that. She was never against having kids, a good amount of her friends had them and they all loved her—as she loved them. She just…never found the right person, or had enough of an interest in the men around her to engage in such a commitment.
It didn’t help her case that Mallory had great reservations, and rigorous requirements about the type of parent any potential partner would be or could become—which had, consequentially, ended most, if not all, possibilities when she had been searching for such a connection.
Those two realizations brought her to look at Sam, causing a small pit to form as thoughts and feelings connected.
You’re overthinking things, Mallory. She tried to reassure herself, but it didn’t work.
Another long pause.
“Spouse?” Sam asked, causing Mallory to snap her gaze towards him with a scowl.
“Why are you asking all of these questions?” She demanded to know of him, her walls going back up as she felt herself wanting to give into something she couldn’t—so instead she lashed out, resenting Sam for making her feel this, stupid, unhelpful, way about him.
“I, uh—sorry.” He mumbled, fidgeting slightly before turning around to start his lesson of the day, but Mallory reached out to grab his arm and stop him.
He was just trying to get to know her, it was understandable—he just didn’t know how to.
And he wouldn’t know unless he got to know her better.
“I’m an extremely private person. I don’t…I hate talking about myself.” She told him, slowly releasing her grip on his leather jacket, exhausting many efforts to not linger on the strength and mass she felt beneath it. “So…it’s admittedly overwhelming to be asked for all of these answers about myself. Personal answers.”
Mallary drifted off, finding herself fidgeting with the buckle on her belt.
“The things I told Cora…I—I never talk about my mother. Not even my friends—” Mallory stopped speaking as her fidgeting got worse, turning into her clasping her hands together behind her back so she could press them together with all her might.
It bothered her to no end how, that even now, a simple thought of that wretched hag made her tense up. The woman was dead, long dead from the time she was in now, yet she still held so much power over her. Mallory gulped down the lump that was forming in her throat, fighting back the tears before looking back up at Sam, who watched her with his puppy dog gaze.
“I let all of my friends think she died when I was an infant.” She paused, steadying her breath. “She didn’t…that bitch held on even after my father died but I, just…preferred that narrative.”
“I’m so sorry,” Sam spoke softly, his words and voice soothing the tremors Mallory felt reverberating within her. Despite her looking at the floor, she could see his hand twitch as his arm reached halfway towards her before dropping back to his side.
“Protect your daughter, Sam,” Mallory said, in an awfully monotone way, while still transfixed on the concrete floor below her. “I don’t know the situation with you and Cora’s mother, but as a person who was made to feel like you are the least important thing to a parent, a mother...you have a certain level of responsibility to not expose her to that. Cora doesn’t deserve feeling that way and one day, she may come to resent you for not protecting her from some of it.”
Sam didn’t say anything, and Mallory was too cowardly to see his expression to try to understand how he was feeling at that moment. To understand if or how her words may have hurt him.
She didn’t want to feel the guilt of hurting someone she cared about, even though she refused to acknowledge that fact herself—or anything even remotely close to it.
It was all…too much for her.
“I’m sorry, I think I am going to skip our lesson today—” Mallory suddenly stated, feeling a little nauseous as her mind catapulted ahead, trying to navigate through every possible scenario unscathed. She felt her body twist, anxious to leave, not wanting or willing to stand in this moment and think any longer. “I need to go lay down.” She continued.
“Of course.” He reassured her hastefully, standing aside to give Mallory a clear pathway out.
She continued her way to her room, looking at the floor to guide her way there, only to collapse onto the bed upon immediate arrival.
Mallory was grateful, for once, that she did not have any dreams as she slept—knowing fully well her mother would have occupied them only to force her awake in some form of panic.
Instead, she was awoken by a small knock.
Rubbing the little amount of drool that had accumulated against her cheek, while trying to wipe away the wet spot her drool had also left on the bed, she got up to open the door. Seeing, not entirely to her surprise, Sam.
“You forgot this earlier.” He said, handing her the book on Solomon Coe. “I didn’t want to disturb you while you sounded like you were in a deep, deep, sleep.” He smiled at her, using his familiar teasing tone, obviously trying to cut the awkward tension. Between the word he stressed and her small puddle of drool, Mallory gathered she must have been snoring quite loudly.
“Thank you,” Mallory said, both for the book and not disturbing her slumber, slowly closing the door. Sam, with immediate reaction, slipped his foot between the door and its frame, stopping it from closing, before quickly retracting his leg with a small shake of his head.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—I just…I was wanting to talk to you, when you have a few minutes, in, uh, private.” He let her know, watching her with tense caution before his eyes went wide. “If that’s okay, of course.” He blurted out as if his previous statement somehow offended Mallory.
Out of fear he would unravel himself further, Mallory opened the door wide enough to let him entry before closing it behind her.
“You’re normally more composed than this.” She stated, slightly entertained yet very curious as to the cause of this behaviour change. If he continued any longer, she would probably just become concerned.
“Yeah, well…” Sam turned to look at Mallory, who tried her best to suppress her amused smile, as he exhaled a large, heavy sigh. “I know.” He admitted, almost like he was defeated by something.
They stood in silence for a moment, Sam regarding Mallary with a mixture of anticipation, eagerness and caution. It intrigued her to know what could be causing him to feel so conflicted until she quickly reflected on when she felt similarly conflicted within his presence.
They both seemed to swallow a lump in their throats before Mallory managed to motion for Sam to guide the conversation he had requested.
“Yeah…” He started, already falling off in his speech as he looked away from Mallory towards her bed and then immediately looking at a far corner; a light red peaking out from under his tan skin and bearded jaw. “Look, I’m just…”
Another heavy sigh broke Sam’s speech.
“I have some shows I like to watch every week, I wanted to see if you wanted a break from your solitude to come join me. You can catch a glimpse of what TV is like in the future.” Sam shrugged, a hint of something flashing across his face before he seemed to steel himself and push down what he was going to say.
Mallory felt a little guilty to be relieved that he didn’t profess something he couldn’t take back. Something that, if said and were true, would drastically change their dynamic.
Something that, even if they both wanted, could never last.
Yet, despite all of that trepidation she felt towards him at this moment, another part of her just wished to tease him relentlessly. To laugh and find enjoyment within the chaos and turmoil she found herself in every moment he wasn’t around, or when she thought too deeply about how he made her feel.
“You must take them very seriously if it’s this difficult for you to ask me to join.” Mallory said with a smile, Sam letting out a soft, relieved, laugh as Mallory moved past the previously intended point of conversation.
“Very.” Sam confirmed, his serious tone dripping with sarcasm as he walked to the door. Mallory placed the book on her bed, having every intent to start reading it upon her return, as Sam opened the door for them both to exit. “In all seriousness though, I do get a bit cranky if we are flying too far out in the systems and I can’t watch my vids.”
Mallory laughed, genuinely, at how much she truly believed how serious he was about his shows.
The flutter in her stomach, however, only came when she saw the pride Sam expressed at causing such a reaction. Her smile immediately faded, her expression forced into neutrality while her insides melted. Sam harshly cleared his throat before taking a step toward his room.
“This way.” He said, his pace much quicker than normal—perhaps they were late for the start of the show. Mallory, through the short walk down the hallway, was able to shake off the nerves Sam had jolted from his one look until she saw what he intended for them to sit on.
A chair, a bench or his bed.
Never before, in her entire life, had a man made her feel so uncertain about herself. However, every time she had this thought regarding Sam—which was increasingly more frequent—she forcefully reminded and convinced herself it was because of the uncertainty surrounding her that Sam had this effect on her.
“Uhh…” Sam mumbled as he awkwardly glanced between their choices of furniture. “I normally just watch it in my chair.” He continued, his hand returning to the back of his neck.
It was obvious, to her, that this wasn’t what he had intended.
“Your neck okay?” Mallory teasingly asked him, causing Sam to almost jolt in place and drop his arm to his side. Mallory just half smiled, restraining her emotions from fully peaking through. “Didn’t really think this one through, huh?” She asked another question, drawing an awkward half laugh, half sigh, from Sam.
“Yeah, okay, you got me. I was going to bring up something else, I just…I’ve been thinking about what happened today a lot. It’s strange to all of us that you are here and I can’t imagine how that feels for you. I really can’t!” He exclaimed, Mallory uncertain if it was in an attempt to stress that he was trying to sympathize with her or a frustration with himself that he couldn’t. “But I have to figure it’s pretty lonely, and scary.” He continued, watching Mallory with his soft, cautious, stare.
“Yes.” Mallory admitted, feeling a small tremor in her voice. Where was he going with this? Sam gave a firm, long, nod of his head, as if trying to get his thoughts back in motion.
“Right, so, and I, uh, I really did hear what you said today about being a private person. I, heh, normally, keep my personal life hidden and out of conversation, too. You’re just—” He cut himself off, as if forcing himself to withhold a statement he didn’t wish to share or want to say out loud. “It also made me realize that, due to what I unintentionally overheard, you are at a greater disadvantage than before, in a sense of understanding things.”
Mallory couldn’t help but smile at his thoughtfulness and great desire to understand and empathize with her bizarre position. From the sounds of it, he really had been thinking about this all afternoon.
“That’s very kind and perceptive of you.” Mallory kindly complimented him, filling in the silence he left lingering.
“I know.” He smugly quipped before forcefully coughing. “Sorry, I kid. I, um, my intention for talking earlier was for two things. First, I want to give you an open door, or…open book, if you will,” Sam flashed his proud smirk at his horrible pun, “policy.” He finished with an immediately serious tone and expression replacing his playfulness. “Whatever you want to know about me, personal and all, I’ll answer it. So long as it helps you feel…comfortable.”
Mallory gave a small nod, dropping her head for a moment to hide her large, unbridled, grin at his offer. She understood the vulnerability he would have to accept to offer such a thing, especially if he claimed to be as private as her in this regard.
It meant a great deal to her.
“No expectations that you do the same either.” He added, causing Mallory to look up at him and see he had taken a few paces forward. “The, uh, other thing,” he continued, every word seemingly heavy within his mouth, “is this.”
He grabbed onto his necklace, gripping the object that was wrapped in string, before removing it from himself and reaching out to give it to Mallory.
“It’s from Earth—your time.” He added, a slight shake to his hand to motion that he was serious about Mallory taking it. “I figured having a piece of your home with you at all times might be more reassuring or provide some type of comfort, I dunno—”
“It’s very thoughtful, thank you, Sam.” Mallory cut him off before he could continue to ramble into a place of self-doubt, placing the necklace over her neck and tucking it under her shirt. He seemed to perk up at seeing her visible gratitude before becoming unreasonably nervous.
“You’re—” He huffed again, saying that word yet still not following through. “You’re really something else, you know that?” He finally said, a small laugh escaping him before he turned around and started to slowly pace his room. “I get it, you are quite literally out of this world, but—it can’t just be that. I feel crazy—you. You,make me feel crazy.” He said with a turn to look at Mallory, his nerves still present behind a visible, heated, frustration.
Mallory understood his feelings—he made her head spin quite often enough to be able to understand. She wondered, however, if he also recognized the limitations they found themselves under and that, realistically, and logically, it would only be to their detriment if they acted on such…heated frustrations.
“Am—am I alone in this? Have I been…misreading signals?” He continued, his tone almost pleading for Mallory to end his internal conflict. She only slowly swallowed before feeling her jaw go rigid and her mouth purse.
“It’s not a question I should answer, Sam.” Mallory cautioned, seemingly to Sam’s disappointment and disagreement—he didn’t believe her.
Slowly he took a few steps towards her, closing the large gap between them.
“Because you don’t feel that way?” He gently asked as he took another step. In the time Mallory hesitated her response, biting the inside of her cheek to try to remain focused, Sam was standing less than an arm's length away from her.
She felt an immense pressure fall onto her chest.
“Because we shouldn’t, Sam.” Mallory finally croaked, unable to look at the man who was right in front of her in fear that he would manage to unravel her with a single glance. She knew he would.
“Tell me why.” He whispered, a single finger pulling her chin to face him. Mallory closed her eyes, feeling the weight on her chest begin to suffocate her until she realized she had been holding her breath.
She could feel the pressure of his finger against her throat as she took another, dry, swallow. She could also feel his breath against her face, inviting her to look at him but she still couldn’t open her eyes.
Mallory had a sinking feeling that if she told Sam that their time was limited, and that was why they couldn’t become involved, he would convince her otherwise. She had to use the one thing that she knew he couldn’t argue with her about—and it, admittedly, hurt to do so.
“Cora.” Mallory slowly said, feeling Sam almost immediately retreat from her as she finally opened her eyes to look at the twist of pain and uncertainty he expressed. It hurt her to see him like that.
It was bizarre, in many ways, to feel as she did about him after knowing him for only a week. But…that week was spent almost entirely with him, or his daughter, or both of them. The kindness, care and protection he provided her while she had been, and still was, so vulnerable to her environment.
None of that was missed on her—if anything, it was the fuel to her desire for him.
In a split moment, between being forced to confront what she felt for Sam and seeing how hurt he looked, Mallory felt a sudden change in her.
One, two, three quick, and purposeful, steps are all it took before she could grab the sides of Sam’s face and hastefully bring their lips together. She felt his body tense at the sudden motion and connection, and right as she felt his arms move to wrap around her, to pin her against him, she pulled away.
“That’s it.” Mallory said, breathless. She thought she would have regretted leaving this time without knowing what kissing him was like, but in the aftermath of giving in to her desire, she only regretted it.
It only made things worse.
Her heart was beating so loudly she felt it in her temples.
“Just that once.” She confirmed, finally looking to Sam to get his reassurance and agreement, only to see him still looking stunned. “It can’t go any further.” Mallory continued, feeling like she would be trapped in a state of denial until he either agreed or forcefully pulled her out of it.
“Alright.” Sam finally croaked—a good enough answer for Mallory to accept. She looked off into a corner of Sam’s room, pretending that she saw the time while there were absolutely no clocks in sight.
“Oh, is that the time? Gosh, I have somewhere to be. Very important stuff, somewhere not here.” She announced, turning on her heel and preparing to bolt from this room. “Enjoy your vids and whatever else you do in the future here.” She said as she, practically, ran back to her room; ensuring to lock the door.
She swore she heard Sam mutter how he didn’t think he could concentrate on them tonight, but it wasn’t a thought that Mallory wanted to linger on.
The kiss wasn’t one either, but those sensations wouldn’t leave her so easily.
Instead, Mallory lay on her bed, starfished, and grasping onto the necklace Sam had given her. She was, quite literally, panting with every breath, desperately trying to calm her rapidly beating heart and put an end to her growing desire for that dork of a space cowboy.
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In Our Favor
Part 113
McCoy
McCoy lay awake in the dark. A tremble went through his body and he closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. It was his own fault the nightmares plagued him that night. Ships falling from the sky, exploding in brilliant shards on the ground. He had done that with his time in the simulator. Though the simulator screen went black before actually showing an impact with the ground McCoy knew.
He knew now how stupid he had been to torture himself. He glanced at Scotty asleep beside him, then rolled away to his other side and curled up. Tears welled in his eyes and he closed his lids tight to keep them back. He did need help. He sighed. Why hadn’t he spoken to Dr. Hudson about his fear when he’d had the chance? At the boarding school she had been so helpful with both him and Scotty after their kidnapping.
Could she help if he reached out to her?
He sighed again. He knew the answer. The recommendation was in his file. Soon he’d have to contact Starfleet’s counseling division unless he wanted to get in more trouble for not following an order.
He startled as a warm arm slid around his waist and Scotty’s warmth pressed against his back.
“It’s alright mo ghràdh,” Scotty whispered sleepily. “We'll get through this together.”
Slowly McCoy relaxed into his husband as the body heat from the Scotsman pulled him back towards sleep.
A chirping woke McCoy. Sunlight was peeping around the edges of the curtain on the window. Clumsily he stretched an arm out and grabbed at his comm on the bedside table. Blinking his eyes open he opened the comm and read his newest message. There was one from the night before and McCoy chuckled.
“What is it?” Scotty asked, voice rough with sleep.
“Eugene,” McCoy replied, tossing the comm back at the table. He moved to face his husband, and ran his fingers along Scotty’s jaw. “Cora said yes.”
“Good for them,” Scotty murmured, pulling McCoy closer.
“Not ready to get up?” McCoy asked, with slight humor in his voice.
Scotty grunted and held him tighter. McCoy held in a laugh and slipped his hand under Scotty’s shirt. He nuzzled his face close to his husband’s neck, getting Scotty’s head to tip up and began kissing.
“How ‘bout now?” McCoy murmured between kisses, his hand moving up Scotty’s back.
Scotty let out a content sigh, and opened one eye at McCoy. “Ye may be convincing me, let’s see what ye’ve got.”
McCoy pulled back and laughed before quickly moving in and catching Scotty’s mouth with his.
“You guys go out last night?” Christine asked as McCoy and Scotty sat down for breakfast. The prince saw Scotty glance at him before he answered affirmatively.
“Find anywhere good?” Uhura asked.
“Yeah actually,” McCoy smiled. He recalled the cab driver’s words from the night before. “Best dumplings in the city.”
“How would you know?” Jaylah demanded. “You have barely been to any places yet.”
McCoy laughed and shrugged. “They were good,” he said, looking at Scotty for confirmation.
When Cora joined them a few minutes later McCoy hid a grin behind his coffee mug.
“Good morning lassie,” Scotty greeted her.
“Hi guys,” she said to them before greeting the others.
“Everything’s good?” McCoy asked knowingly and Cora blushed, with a sly smile.
“I can tell you know the answer already,” she replied, and he chuckled.
Part 114
Scotty
Scotty was kinda surprised that Eugene didn't sit down with them for breakfast, but he assumed that the lad was still trying to spend time with his friends. Maybe they would give him some advices for his date with Cora.
The Scotsman was also surprised when Aporal joined them and instantly started to chat with Sulu and Jim. It was good to see that he finally opened up to others and tried to make friends.
"So? What are your plans for today?" Leonard eventually asked the others. Their friends had likely talked about it the evening before, but since Scotty and Leonard hadn't been with them, they needed to get an update on everything.
"Aporal and I will go to the gym and practice some fighting moves. He told me that he's really good and I want to see that myself," Sulu said with a grin, pointing at the Andorian next to him.
Aporal shrugged his shoulders.
"He's basically asking for me to beat him."
Scotty tried his best to keep his face from frowning. Was it really a good idea for Aporal to start physical exercising already? After all, he had been quite hurt a week ago.
"Ye sure ye're up for that, laddie?"
A grin crossed Aporal's face.
"Sure thing, Scottish boy. No need to worry about me. I'm as good as new. But if you want to be a mother hen, feel free to come and watch us."
Ah, so the old Aporal was coming through again. The arrogant, cocky one. Well... Scotty could live with it. But someone else didn't seem too amused.
"Hey! Montgomery Scotty is just trying to be nice! You don't have to call him names like that."
"It's fine, Jaylah. I know that Aporal's just joking." Scotty gently placed a hand on Jaylah's arm to soothe her, but she pulled it away to cross her arms in front of her chest.
"Well, he better be careful with those jokes. I do not like them."
Scotty glanced at Aporal's face, however, he couldn't read it. Apparently the Andorian was very good at hiding his emotions.
"What will ye do today, Jaylah?"
A change of subject. Aye, that was the best thing.
"I will help Keenser on a project. Pavel will help us too."
This time Scotty was quite sure that he could see Aporal tensing, if only the slightest bit. He didn't say anything though.
"Yes, because I'm the better helping hand."
"What?! No, you're not!"
"Yes, I am."
"Here we go again," Uhura groaned as Chekov and Jaylah started to argue. The rest of the group chuckled.
"What about the two of you? What will you do?" Christine chose to ignore the two brawlers next to her and instead focused on Leonard and Scotty.
"Oh, uhm, we haven't made any plans yet," Leonard answered for the both of them and Scotty nodded in agreement.
"Well, I'm going out with Roger today. Do you wanna come along? You could get to know each other better."
Scotty exchanged a quick glance with his husband before they both nodded.
"Sure. That sounds nice."
"Oooo, a double date!" Jim said with a grin. "How sweet."
Leonard chuckled and raised an eyebrow.
"You and Spock wanna join us too?"
But Jim just shook his head.
"Nah, we have other plans for the day. But maybe we could all meet up in the evening and go out. I heard of a nice new club."
They all decided on meeting for dinner. Then they would make a decision on the idea.
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