#deobis | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovesickheize · 2 years

Text

𔘓 sex with the boyz based on tarot . . .

hyung line version ( sangyeon jacob younghoon hyunjae juyeon )

lee sangyeon

dominant. yeah.

this is not about the romantic, lovey-dovey stuff, it's hardcore sex and plenty of it but in a sex-for-the-sake-of-it sense

promising future that goes on all levels: love, sex, emotions, mentality, spirituality

is probably into mutual masturbation

whatever inhibitions and lack of confidence will disappear. into body worship and praising (giving)

consider hot, pleasurable sex and laughter after it. then, again... and again... passion overdose

sheer raw lust that takes over

into threesomes or sex w more people, doesn't care abt their gender.

experimentalist, exhibitionist & voyeur

honest, harmonious, fulfilling sexual relationships. trust-based sex.

the type of guy to make you fall for him even if you are in a serious relationship & won't give up on you until he gets into your pants and eventually dates you

kinda workaholic so sex is his way to relax

jacob bae

good energy flows into his sexual relationships, making them passionate and loving.

good sexual relationships that are based on trust

prefers the comfort of his home. likes cozy sex

might also be the one who is giving the most in the sexual relationship, but would like to receive a little bit more

likes risky stuff, but hesitates a lot.

skillful and playful

the way he thinks affects his performance. if he's not feeling confident or something's bothering him in his non-sexual life, sex won't be satisfying for neither part.

sometimes he needs a change, maybe wants to try smth new but he's afraid to ask his s/o if they are ok with it. he's shy and won't start a conversation about such matters himself.

kim younghoon

the type to boost your confidence & praise you for the smallest things.

really loyal, is searching for his true soulmate

might have some kind of sex related trauma

his sex life is blocked by illusions and fears, which may manifest as social anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, low self-worth and feelings of repression.

is afraid to receive what he gives, feels like he's not worth it.

falls in love easily, so one night stands are a no for him after realising he catches feelings after just one night.

jealous sex. lets his frustration out w sex.

crazy passion (like the good leo sun he is), great stamina. can go for a l o t of rounds.

likes to discuss things before trying them in the sheets. he has a lot of not so ordinary fantasies but is too shy to express them.

can be rlly kinky but also rlly vanilla. his sex wants and needs are not static and might even change during the thing.

lee hyunjae

gives and receives the best sexual experiences.

strong sexual desires and spirit of adventure.

experimentalist to the core.

likes sex in unexpected places. he'd take his s/o against the kitchen table or in the pool. there's nothing holding him back.

really confident about himself and what he can do.

would approach the person he is interested in without hesitation or shame. he makes sure there's raw sexual energy that the said person would not be able to resist. BODY LANGUAGE.

angelic-looking guy who is devil in flesh - in a good way.

sex is the most important part of a relationship according to him

extremely powerful sexual compatibility based on deep emotional connection, similar sexual interests and desires as well as physical attraction.

fiery passion, a lot of romance and kisses. speed and sex go together here.

a lot of flirting ( w his s/o ) even if he is in a relationship.

sexual depths with high levels of intimacy and ecstasy. is probably monogamous.

rejection makes him mad. really mad.

he wants his s/o to be open to discuss abt new fantasies and desires, to spice up things. encourages his s/o to always talk abt things that are bothering them in the sheets. needs both sides to be fully satisfied.

lee juyeon

a really happy sexual partner. he loves every type of sex with his s/o.

a strong and powerful partner that likes to dominate.

he always makes sure things are okay before continuing whatever he is doing or trying something new.

he might find it difficult to forgive his s/o if they do something he doesn't like. that can either mean that he needs to talk about new kinks before trying them or that he likes to let out his frustration or jealousy through sex.

friends to lovers through sex is his type of thing.

into threesomes, but needs to know he isn't gonna lose his s/o bcz of it. kinda monogamous but not 100%

would experiment w a same sex partner

voyeur.

tries to make his partner comfortable with new kinks and fantasies and removes shame and guilt about their sexuality, masters communication w them.

eric is back! my baby eric is back<333 so today's song rec is apocalypse by cigarettes after sex cuz it reminds me of him!

-lita.

563 notes · View notes

muntitled · 5 months

Text

Being a Deobi just means I have 11 different boyfriends and they're all in a fraternity, and they all make music for some reason.

#theyre music is too good #the boyz #tbz #deobi

45 notes · View notes

w0nslvr · 5 months

Text

𝒃𝒇!𝒕𝒃𝒛 𝒕𝒆𝒙𝒕𝒔 (98 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒔)

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: 98𝒛 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒌

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒔𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 (?𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚) 𝒊𝒏 𝒌𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒏’𝒔

𝒉𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆 | 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒏𝒂𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆

𝒋𝒖𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏

𝒌𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒏

𝒏𝒆𝒘

𝑸

A/N: the way q is one of my biases and im so scared of that fucking doll😭😭reblogs are appreciated 🫂

143 notes · View notes

astrae4 · 1 year

Text

♡ THE BOYZ AS YOUR FIRST KISS

pairing — the boyz x reader

genre — fluff, romance, humor

warnings — could be seen as suggestive in some.

note — hehe~ i’ve been a lot more active these days since school’s over!!

more works — navigation | tbz!masterlist

SANGYEON | after-date kiss

this man is so prepared. He had it all planned out in his head. The date was perfect; your conversations were amazing and the chemistry oozed out naturally. After he paid for the meal (despite you insisting that you split the bill instead), he drove you back to your house. Holding your hand as you’re about to part, he worked up the courage to give you a cheek kiss—but oh gosh, he was so nervous! Thankfully he had you, who gave him one small peck in his lips, before running into your house with a laugh, leaving him in shock. Safe to say he left your driveway with a dumb smile on his face!

JOONYOUNG | late night walk kiss

after going out for a hangout with a few friends, Jacob offered to walk you home as your houses were on the same direction. One convenience store stop later and you’ve both taken a detour to walk on the sidewalk. Oh, how he thought you were absolutely gorgeous. Even with your tired eyes, messy hair, and cakey makeup that was screaming to you to be taken off. Sensing his stare, you hit him with the “What? Is there something on my face?” And so he replied with the cliché “you’re beautiful.” Next thing you know, you’re both kissing underneath a lamppost in the starry night.

YOUNGHOON | for the job kiss

the actor you were working with was handsome. you got casted as the female lead and he—the male lead. Today, you were going to film the kiss scene. “Nervous?” He asked. “A bit.” You replied. It was fake—all for the job, of course, but why did it make your heart flutter so much? The director gave you a signal, and to your fortune—you did good. Just as the director gave you guys a cut, the handsome man leaned in your ear, whispering, “Just so you know, I wouldn’t mind for us to do it again off camera.”

JAEHYUN | during the movie kiss

Hyunjae had been such a sweetheart. Asking you for time after school, he brought you to the mall. He bought you some tteokbokki and drinks, and then brought you to the cinema to watch some newly released romance movie. The movie was great, by the way! The casts were amazing, the shots were beautiful, the plot was interesting, and the boy beside you was staring at you with heart eyes! Wait—what? You turned to the side to look at Hyunjae, both staring at each other before you naturally leaned in, a kiss being shared as the stars of the movie had their happy ending.

JUYEON | childhood kiss

you remember the day your boyfriend and you first met. baby you and Juyeon were in the same daycare. Another kid had taken your toy shovel, making you let out a cry of sadness. Baby Juyeon was a knight in shining armor, scolding the bullies and taking your shovel back. He had cooly crouched down with you wiping your tears with his baby hands before giving you your shovel back. Your tears stopped, and Juyeon had appeared to become the most handsome man in your eyes ever since. You thanked him by slapping your hands in his cheeks, before pulling him for a kissy kiss!!

HYUNGSEO | i love you kiss

you both were best friends. Yet, friends don’t do such things. Friends don’t stare at each other for too long, friends don’t have lingering touches. Just today, you slept over his house because you stayed for too long the other night, making it ‘too late’ to go home in Kevin’s eyes. Reaching a conclusion, you went down to where Kevin was making breakfast. “Good mor—” “Kevin, do you like me?” He stopped cooking to look at you, before answering you, “Truthfully, I do—no, actually, I love you.” You wasted no more time, pulling his face to yours for a kiss.

CHANHEE | in the pool kiss

taking a sip from your glass of wine, you put it back on the edge of the pool. giggling as you see Chanhee’s impatient expression, you quickly came to him, hooking your arms around his shoulder as his fall on your bare waist. Only the sounds of the water in the pool resonated as it was now too late for humankind. You both look at each other in the eyes, before moving closer to each other. “May I?” He asks softly, biting his plump bottom lip. You nodded, and soon enough; your lips connected as you shared a soft and sweet kiss.

CHANGMIN | thank you kiss

the sounds of synchronized steps echoed the practice room as the song came to an end. Changmin had offered to help you with a step you were confused with, and so here you are; doing extra practice in the middle of the night. You both grabbed a drink, pants echoing the room. “I think we’re done with practice—you were great just now. We should go home since it’s late.” He said. You nodded, grabbing your bag before you turned off the electricity and left the room together. “Thank you for staying and helping me, Changmin. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You gave him a peck, before leaving. Only when you reached your humble abode did you realize that you didn’t kiss his cheek.

HAKNYEON | shared chocolate kiss

sitting in a bench after going to the convenience store with Haknyeon, you both unwrapped your drinks. Sipping on the matcha milk, Hak nudged you. “Care for some chocolate?” He asked. You said yes undoubtedly. Imagine the shock on your face when; rather than giving you a piece, he put half on his mouth and held your nape, pulling you in for a kiss. You instinctively opened your mouth to bite the chocolate, lips pressing against each other in the process. After pulling away, the damn menace then proceeded to act as if it was nothing and focused back on his food, leaving you in a blushing mess.

SUNWOO | shutting one up kiss

being friends with a cowardly tease can be fun sometimes. They’d act all flirty and bold, making the other a flustered mess. Yet, they become the flustered mess the moment a hint of teasing is retaliated. It was really fun. Especially given the way your best friend, Sunwoo, was blushing. The day started off in annoyance as his teasing was endless. So you replied with a “if you don’t shut up, I’ll kiss you.” Flustered but not wanting to lose his cool, Sunwoo started singing lalalas. So, you kissed him, shutting him up.

YOUNGJAE | the accidental kiss

let’s be for real. this over-thinker would be way too pussy to actually kiss you outside of his own imagination. So it’s either you that have to initiate it or it happened accidentally. In this case, it happened accidentally. Basically, we all know how clumsy he is, right? Well, he tripped and fell on your lips. Scrambling up in a hurry, the both of you started to apologize to each other. Gosh, what a way to meet, right? Who’d guess that one question and three weeks was all it took for a non accidental second kiss.

taglist — @ja4hyvn @flwoie @sulkygyu @xiaoderrrr @ineedaherosavemeenow @lonewolfjinji @deoboyznet

#deoboyznet #theboyz #tbz #fluff #deobi #chanhee #changmin #eric sohn #jacob bae #juyeon #kevin moon #sunwoo #haknyeon #sangyeon #younghoon #hyunjae #romance #humor

277 notes · View notes

oraclemoontarot · 1 month

Text

sunwoo's ideal type ★

personality ୨୧

cards pulled: ace of wands, seven of wands, queen of pentacles, hierophant, two of pentacles, ten of cups, nine of cups, six of swords + knight of swords

Sunwoo likes someone who is creative and passionate. They are inspiring and bring colour into others lives. He also likes those who are hardworking, stand firm in their beliefs, nurturing yet also practical, he also seems to like those who are more feminine. He wants someone who is good with money, someone who doesn't spend too much or isn't too stingy either.

Sunwoo would want someone more traditional, maybe this might be because they are either spiritual or religious. With the two of pentacles, Sunwoo likes those who are adaptable; they can juggle effortlessly between their responsibilities.

Sunwoo wants someone who is family oriented - they could have a good relationship with their family - but also puts care into the relationship with him. With the nine of cups, Sunwoo's ideal type is someone who appreciates the finer things in life, or the little things within the relationship. Someone who appreciates him, and the memories shared.

With the six of swords, Sunwoo may want someone from a different background to him, most likely in terms of wanting a foreigner. And, with the knight of swords, Sunwoo likes those who are assertive when they want something. Someone who isn't afraid to speak their mind - he definitely likes those who are intelligent.

#tarot #tarot reading #kpop tarot #kpop #the boyz #sunwoo #sunwoo tarot #sunwoo ideal type #the Boyz tarot #free tarot #daily tarot #tarot community #kim sunwoo #deobi

34 notes · View notes

from-izzy · 3 months

Text

that's him, that's just who he is | tbz choi chanhee | new

"At least between us both,” the camera shutters and you take a shaky inhale, “one of us took the right path.”

PAIRING » tbz choi chanhee (new) x gn!reader (proofread twice—lmk if i made a mistake!) TROPE/AU » friends 2 strangers, highschool au!, non-idol au!, idol au! (chanhee towards the end) GENRE » angsty angst angst, unread messages, comforting friendship, supporting friendship, you both attend the same music academy, you both are preparing to become celebrities/idols! WORD COUNT » 4168 (no seriously, 2k word limit who?) ESTIMATED READING TIME » 15 mins WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!) » financial difficulties, stress relating to: money, music, balancing friendships-work-school, upwards comparisons, failure at achieving dream job (reader's side), unsupportive teachers

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction 🤍 series masterlist 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

my third story! i take it back when i said that the second is my favourite story because this is my new (no pun intended) favourite story. i had to stop multiple times because it hit me too many times 🥹👍

well...the self insert is really real here 🫂 and this got seriously personal (let's see how many times i say this with this series 👀)

big respect to chanhee for balancing his education, preparing to be an idol and having a part time job 🫂 i respect him so much

thank you for reading honey bee ☘️🐝 @sanaxo-o and happiest birthday to you!! this story isn't much of a gift since you've read it before but there is the other one hehe 💕

Unlike most of your other lessons, this one passed by as quickly as a blink of an eye. It might be because the air conditioner in the room was set to the perfect temperature or the way the tie around your collar didn’t suffocate you too much or maybe, it was the way that you were practically showered with a bunch of compliments as soon as you took a deep breath from your diaphragm, lifted your cheekbones and sung your heart out.

Swiftly, you smile at the affirming nods that your teacher gave you, writing down her notes to the three-minute performance that you were assigned to for the last month. Across the whole month, you recall the way the tip of the pen scratches the plastic board vigorously, tapping rapidly and furiously throughout the longest three minutes of your life. Usually, you would be assigned a new song every three weeks or have two songs to practice for five weeks. On the times that you didn’t succeed, it would be a hell lot of criticism, tears and punches on the wall as soon as you exited the small studio. Heck, even with the times when the tears made it out in the room, you could tell that even though she toned down her volume, those eyes looked at you no further than disinterest—sometimes she would unmistakably roll her eyes too.

It has always been in short, sickening.

Those were the times that you wanted to just rip out your vocal cords, swear that you would never sing again, not that you even could at that point, and run away from the one thing that gave you life in your tiring days.

“Pick a song.”

The statement made your head slightly crane forward towards your suddenly easygoing teacher. You let out a confusing hum and question to which she responds with an amused smile.

“I can…choose?”

“You can’t truly be a singer if you don’t know what songs fit you best or if you need someone to pick what songs you should sing. You don’t have to choose a challenging song yet. You’ve been singing for the past half year and you’re good at it, but you really only found your style recently and I would rather you focus on further developing it.” She shrugs leisurely after, “It’s up to you though.”

Either way, I’m still going to get paid.

Numerous song titles juggle in your mind, the different lyrics and tunes playing in your head as the memories of your lives flash through their respective melodies. However, it wasn’t easy for your mouth to announce any of the songs, your mind thinking of all the technicalities within each song that would definitely challenge the fragile, insecure side of you.

But art is a special type of hobby.

It’s one of those hobbies that no one would ever be able to ‘perfect’. Somebody would always criticise and pick it apart ruthlessly—and you would always have to pick up their words and carry them deep within your heart.

“Are you sure?” The way that she tilts her head to the side after writing down your choice says everything.

But you stood your ground.

You’ve been in love with this song for so long and all you wanted to do was to learn it properly. Who knows when you’ll be given the chance to pick again? So, with the bravest smile and the most convincing nod that your shaking body could give, she does her final notes on that worn-out notebook of hers. She also recites your homework and expectations for the next lesson before excusing your presence from the room.

You couldn't wait to scream the excitement out of your body, tell your parents and your best friend about what just happened, analyse the song and its technical aspec—

"I just don't think you'll make it."

You halt your steps and your journey. For such a good music academy, these rooms seriously needed thicker walls. You were genuinely surprised that you were still able to focus on your lessons (most of the time) through all the electric guitar, drum kits and unfortunately, other singers who were unable to hit those certain high notes.

It's times like these that you wish the academy could invest in their building more. You were lucky that your lesson room is located at the end of the hallway meaning that your criticism could only be heard by you, the teacher and maybe the two rooms in front and beside yours.

Chanhee wasn't so fortunate, being at the very front, the first door on the left. It left him vulnerable. The voice cracks, the times when he would go off tune or the rare times when he missed his count. It would all mercilessly be heard by anyone who would pass by just to go to the toilet or refill their empty, cold coffee mug.

You stood next to the wall where the glass doors of the lesson door, biting your bottom lip and you noticed how Chanhee wouldn’t even say anything to his teacher’s words. You could imagine how he had his head hung low, nodding occasionally at the words and was forced to repeat the same line over and over and over again until he got it right. You prayed silently in your heart and mind that time would go quicker for him so that he could walk out, breathe in some fresh air and take a break from the suffocating practice room.

When the door clicks open, Chanhee has that tired, sad smile to you that he gives most of the time. Your eyebrows fell a little but you were still able to give him an encouraging one back.

“No?” You asked even though you very much knew the answer.

“No.” He quietly affirms after a short pause.

“I’m still proud of you though.” Just like any other day at school, after lessons or any other time, you lightly punch his shoulder, him chuckling and shoving you back. “I guess…that’s why they’re called ‘lessons’ after all.”

The realisation of your words made Chanhee groan. Lessons that are made throughout a lifetime—one that he has been attending for a year and a half unlike you who only started at the start of the year. He gave up his time with his friends, time to study which most of society thinks is the best way to secure a well-financed job, and gave up his money to buy clothes for himself that he just walked past whenever he knew he would get tempted. All those part-time jobs, ones that would go late into the still busy nights of Seoul or the ones early in the morning before school when most people would still be snoring, were all done with his dream that someday his voice would be heard by the world.

“How did yours go?”

You know that you should just be truthful. You both have been stuck to the hip for the last few years and Chanhee is not an easy person to deceive. Plus, you need to take into consideration as well of lying at this current moment. You didn’t want Chanhee to think that you were trying to make him feel better by potentially pitying him. What good would that bring to anyone right now in this situation? That’s not what friends do.

“I was given a chance to choose a song.” The small genuine, congratulatory smile that Chanhee gives makes you relax your back into the wall further, the tension easing away from your body. “I also managed to get through that vocal run that I’ve been agonising and crying to you about for the past week.” You slump your body against the wall as you recall your homework, “But she gave me more scales to use as runs for practice.”

“Scales really do suck.” Chanhee whispers to you teasingly, once again getting pushed by you.

“Yeah.” You acknowledge shortly after. “But it does help me with my breathing and flexibility which I highly suck at.”

“Hey,” he scolds your words lightly, “at least you have a distinctive sound and know how to put emotions according to the sound. My teacher just said I sound generic.”

Yes. That description for Chanhee—no, just any singer—is weird and you would dare to say, highly misleading.

If we’re talking about musical terms, every single singer has a unique timbre. Even if the note stays the same, every person will have a different tone colour because well, every person is different. Saying that a singer has a generic voice, highly contradicts the definite concept of instrument timbre.

You know how much this troubled Chanhee even though he tries his best to hide it. The comments about his timbre have been repeated so many times that it’s got to him a lot. In the beginning, he would just smile bitterly and indicate that he wouldn’t want to talk about the lesson, kicking the group of stones on the pathway to release his anger. However, as you both grew closer after an assigned duet performance, he was able to open up to you little by little, slowly but surely, keeping the friendship that grew even after you did your ending bow to the audience. He would still hide a little bit of his feelings to himself, embarrassed that he would talk about himself even though you reassured him that it was completely fine.

To him, how others see him is the most important thing for him. From the compliments that would grow the contagious smile on his face, to the heartbreaking crying scenes that he would hide from the rest of the world, all those words he took to heart so that he could improve himself as a person—and in this case, as an artist. In this harsh world, the words that would be spat out by teachers would be so deeply etched in a person’s heart that all of a sudden, giving up everything that they have worked so hard for would be easier done.

It’s during those times that you and Chanhee would lean on each other, reassuring each other not to run away from the weekly lessons and giving comfort after each one. Chanhee is internally grateful for the times that you would hold his shoulders, lightly shaking his frail, tired body before giving him words of encouragement. He would do a similar thing for you when you feel like you didn’t progress, stopping your self-criticism and pushing you to keep going. To you, he would just let you cry on his shoulder as you hug him tight, patting your back calmingly.

The light snowing season greets the both of you as soon as you exit the building. For you, your next destination is home but for Chanhee, ninety-eight percent of the time it would be his job at the barbeque restaurant, the seafood restaurant or even that new Chinese restaurant that he recently just started.

Given the good results of your lesson, you selfishly wanted to have some fun but the words died down in your throat when you slightly turned your head towards your friend. His black hair still peaked out from the beanie that kept both of his ears warm, the scarf that you gifted him hid the slight downturn of his lips and the physical expression of his heavy heart. His eyelashes fluttered away the snowflakes in the cold but still bright night and his rosy cheeks only grew brighter and more evident the slower the journey to your next destination would take.

“Just a little penguin in his somewhat natural habitat?” Your attempt to get a response out from him is successful when you see his cheekbones rise—the same way that they would rise whenever he sings his heart out.

“What a way to start a conversation.”

Your heart lightens at your successful attempt, linking your right arm with his as you continue to walk down the still-shared path that makes the distance between all your worries and yourself further away. However, like all journeys, you finally arrive at that one spot.

The one that split into two different roads, unlike the one you have been walking a few minutes ago.

The right road would take you both to safety, warmth and relaxation.

The left road would force you to unlink Chanhee’s arm, sending him to the busy, loud civilisation where he would put on his apron and raise the pitch of his voice fit for customer service.

“Are you…off to work?” He senses the sadness lingering in your voice and the way your right hand tightens around his forearm even through the thick, winter clothes.

“…yeah.”

“I see.” You managed to muster a stable response tone. “Come on, I’ll drop you there.” You turn your body towards the crowd but can’t go too far due to the other set of feet that stays grounded on the worn-down, cold stone floor, “Chanhee?”

“Maybe…” Suddenly, the sky starts to sprinkle down its pretty shapes of ice. “I’m just not meant to be a singer.”

You gasp quietly, the faint white exhale slowly disappearing behind the dark background. Seeing the tears finally slide down his cheeks made you realise one thing: he’s opening up. He’s doing the thing that he has tried to hide from everyone. In tune with his emotions, your eyes started to build their layer of moisture, the wind making it harder for you to keep your tears in. You couldn’t think straight, your free arm wiping your eyes to rid the hardships from your face while trying to give Chanhee words of encouragement.

“You’re going to get ther—”

“What if you had to give up so much,” He cut you off, gasping and inhaling more air to accommodate his crying, “earn so much money, gave it away and it didn’t give you good results? Whatever it may be…An event, a trip, an investment.” His voice gradually trails off as he lists life occurrences.

You’ve thought about the same thing thousands of times, back and forth, no matter where, when and who you were with. In a world where pursuing art can be a hard, long path, what would happen if nothing good were to come out of it? All your hard work, all your money, all your time…you’ll never be able to get those back.

Is it worth it? Is it worth the gamble?

“I would probably beat myself over it.” You tried to keep your whimpers at bay as you confessed the same answer that would come back every time you went on your downward spiral, “I would most probably always question why I did what I did. If I did the event with someone, and for some reason, they were the ones that made the situation bad, then I would’ve gone back and forth, asking myself if it was worth it. Why didn’t I go alone? Why was I so scared? What was I so scared of?”

Should you move to a different academy? But your teacher is well known. Should you still do it anyway? Knowing that you had to go through many processes and hardships to even get lessons with this teacher. Even if most of the time, you felt like giving up music, surely her experience would lead you to someplace good…right?

“But then…would answering those questions lead to happiness?” Chanhee scoffs at his absurd thoughts. Tilting his head to the sky, he relishes the way the snowflakes land on his pale skin, disappearing when they touch his skin, the side branches melting into his warmth. “Even after answering the question, would you be able to know what to do next? What would it lead to?”

Even though Chanhee was the first one to cry and break down, your wails were louder the more his words resonated within you, touching the parts of your heart that you never wanted to say out loud, scared of where and how your unconscious mind would take you. With everything in him, he untangles his arms to wrap them around your neck, patting the back of your head as you cry on his shoulder. He also lets his tears soak your scarf, resting his cheek on his arm and his chapped wavering lips rubbing against the delicate wool of your scarf, trying his best to soften his cries.

“I just…” One of his hands pats your back, giving you his comfort—even though he probably needed it more than you, “Music and singing used to be happiness that could fit in my pocket. It felt secure and safe. I could just put on my earphones and I’ll feel happy.” You notice the tighter hold after, “But music grew too fast and too big for me that I couldn’t catch up with it anymore.”

You only nod to his words, knowing how much Chanhee sacrificed to pay for his lessons. Some judged him, calling him stuck up and selfish even though they knew that he was independent in his journey to become a singer. It pains you to hear those words come out as scoffs and laughter and soon enough, you hold his hand and cut ties with them all, leaving their flabbergasted faces behind.

The sky starts to cry with you both beautifully in the form of its unique icy shapes. You both watch the snowflakes disappear on the ground, on each other clothing, on your noses. Finding the strength and breath to continue, you slowly push your body away, wiping the last bit of your tears to face your best friend straight into his eyes.

“You’re going to find happiness that you can rely on, Chanhee.” You couldn’t see his lips but you were sure that it was pouting and shivering, “It may be music or it may be something that music brings you. It may be the stage or maybe people who you will come to work with or maybe the people who will cheer you on but I’m sure you’ll find it soon.”

Even with the bustling environment around you both, there was no way that you could have missed his muttering, especially with the white puff of air, “At this rate…”

He feels the weight and pressure of your palms on both his shoulders but he still looks down to the ground where the snow slowly buries the sides of his shoes, “I promise you that if you keep going, I don’t have a single doubt that you’ll find your style. Regardless of what your crappy teacher says, you’re unique and I love your voice.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.” Wiping the lone tear on his cheek, “The world is going to be amazed when they hear your voice and I'm sure you'll be a good influence to them.”

For the first time in the day, Chanhee finally smiled. You observe the way his eyes disappear into pretty little upside-down moons. His head tilts back slightly, revealing the upturned corner of his lips behind the scarf that kept him warm and his teeth shine brighter with the help of the light from the marketplace behind you. Your hands were able to finally relax and mirrored the same expression back to your now radiant friend.

“Promise me that we’ll stand on the same stage someday.”

But life plays a twisted fate on you both and loves to put more pressure than you can ever carry. Having to move to a different school and a different region is not on your list of expectations. You argued endlessly about the decision to move, feeling unfair that none of your opinions mattered to them as they relentlessly started to look for moving trucks to hire. With the good offer that your dad received and realising that the youngest in the family had no final say, you tried your best to hold back the tears when telling Chanhee the news.

He cries for you and himself, already imagining the loneliness of walking to the music academy after a long day of school and the drags of his feet across the gravel in the night after each lesson. You assured him that you would call often and unlike you, he promised you the same thing. Time told you both that your friendship was still strong despite the physical distance between you both and with time, so did both your musical skills.

The trade-off for talent in your friendship is the less frequent phone calls and text messages. It was decreasing steadily and slowly until eventually, there was no more red dot beside his name on your phone even though you're sure there would be one beside your name on his. When sadness turned into confusion, then morphed into anger, hate and bitterness whenever someone asked you about him, you still found yourself swiping through your many photos with him. Just like how he cries on your last day, you cry from the silence of him.

Thankfully, time did heal your heart even though you couldn’t find a friend like him ever again. Things have changed for you and you were sure that it was the same for Chanhee. You grew taller, changed your hairstyle, hobbies, dreams and aspirations. What time didn’t seem to change however was the delivered sign that never changed with your messages. You let it go and went on with your life.

When you did come back to Seoul, you realised that the city had changed drastically. You wondered if it’s really that or if you were just struggling to remember the city that you once walked around in every day. But unlike your thoughts, maybe Seoul did change drastically. Amid the new but still bustling environment, there was this one cafe that was incredibly packed. Needing to get away from the cold, you entered to be greeted with a well-decorated interior and the gold ‘Happy Birthday New’ balloon shines brightly, especially with the light that is right above it. Many were posing in front of the gold foil fringe backdrop.

You almost didn’t recognise the boy in the picture. You don’t remember when you took your scarf off and picked up a random framed picture in the frame before picking up another one next to it, and another one, and another one. Each showed his growth. You could tell not only from his appearance but also from the bigger stage that he performed along with ten other boys. Suddenly, it clicks and it all makes sense. Hearing everyone else around you talk about him fondly took away the heavy weight that his name brought and a new feeling overtook your heart.

For the first time in a very long time, seeing his face made you smile and it didn’t hurt.

Your phone slides into your shaking hands, swipe open the camera app from the lock screen and point it at the framed picture in your hand, “At least between us both,” the camera shutters and you take a shaky inhale, “one of us took the right path.”

You know from the laughter in the space, the feeling of the radiant energy of those around you and the happiness on people’s faces as they point their cameras to their fanmade goods and the interior of the place, that Choi Chanhee has done it. The stage looked extremely good on him, even if the light was too bright and he looked so pale sometimes.

“I’m glad it was you.”

You whisper somewhat solemnly and with a bit of jealousy. Your clenched fist is a puny attempt in trying to keep your tears from expressing the hurt that suddenly hit you as you recall that moment in your life. The multiple rejections to the companies that you auditioned for, the way people on the streets pass by more frequently as their ears and eyes are focused on other’s performances—the night where you listed all your musical instruments for sale and promised that you would never sing ever again.

“You shy, talented, loveable penguin.” And it would seem that his fans agree with the chosen animal with the pouting blue penguin on top of his head. “That’s just who you are, Chanhee.”

Maybe the fame wasn’t for you. Shortly after moving, you found out that the stage was more of a hobby, especially with how you just wanted to stand on stage but never wanted to practise and study music theory properly. You just wanted to shout out the lyrics and sentimentally sing the lyrics of existing songs instead of having your name in an album or next to the credits and royalty rights to the song. But knowing that it fit Chanhee well, it was more than enough for you. He may not have known it before but you wish with all your being that he knows his capability to make others smile, including you.

Even if your broken smile is within millions that he probably would never see from the podium that rightfully held him high.

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction 🤍 series masterlist 🤍 'especially to you...' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿@sanaxo-o @astrae4

40 notes · View notes