#descriptions of grief due to losing a baby

[maximumkillshot]

"I Can't Lose You" Part 5

Warnings: Aftermath of a miscarriage, some fluff, descriptions of grief due to losing a baby, Crying LeeKnow, There are flashes of death. Shock, Grief, There is anger... and yes that's a warning.

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Characters:  Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: Ok if you read the above, you'll notice that anger is in the warnings... We are going to see a lot here. Hold on, okay? I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I AM SORRY IN ADVANCE.

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Also remember, this is a fan fic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.

Stray Kids! Masterlist

Overall Masterlist

Previously:

That half an hour never went by quicker. They stood on the phone as they waited, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. As soon as the clock hit 8:30 am all I could hear was wind… 

"We are running to you right now!" Minho said. 

I could hear the occasional shove and giggle. A few minutes later there was a stampede of sneakers on the floor and as they walked in Minho said "In 3..2..1.." then he pulled the curtain back and hung up. 

Now:

Everyone gave Minho a little room. He wouldn't admit it, but he has a soft spot for you, he always did. From the minute you came into their lives, Minho always treated you like a sister. 

He held and still holds the utmost respect for you. He trusted you so much. He would fall asleep on you during long drives, give you the keys to his place to play with the cats, he also would talk to you about any and everything. 

You still looked pale, frail, and exhausted. Your face sunken in, every move causing a slight wince. You were a shell of who you normally are. He could sense it. That is what made him want to break. Where is his bubbly, eccentric, and lively sister? Where is the sparkle in your eyes? The immediate hearty laugh that he came to know and love.

Some of his best memories with you were full of smiles and laughs. Like when you tried to learn how to cook beef Wellington and you almost burned the kitchen down and all you did was laugh and say "it's the Wellington's fault! I did what I was told to do and it decided to burn." Your smile was ear to ear and your cheeks had the cutest blush to them.

Now when he saw you, you did smirk… but not smile. It didn't reach your eyes. He could feel the hole in your heart. Fresh and still bleeding. He wanted to find where that chunk of your heart went, put it back, and stitch you back together again, even though, deep down, he knew you wouldn't get that piece back.

Minho wanted to put you back together, like what you've done for him thousands of times. He wanted to hold you and protect you, to shelter you, he wanted to take it away. All of it. As the oldest he didn't want to let it show, but he felt responsible.

How did he not see the signs? They were all right in his face. Leaving practice last minute, chuckling and giggling at his phone but refusing to show it to him, even some as blatant as he's going to meet up with a "friend". Minho still replays it in his head. Seeing Soo walk down that hallway only took the knife already in every single one of the boys' hearts and twisted it more. She was mortified when she saw the boys staring at her. Her face looked like it was already white, the blush of embarrassment was clear. He remembered everyone's faces and reactions. 

Felix looked disgusted to be in the same room as her. Seungmin was glaring at her, clear that all he wanted to do was scream at her, shame her. Han almost screamed at her as well as Hyunjin. Minho had to cover Han’s mouth while Innah covered Hyunjin’s. Minho knew that they had to listen to what was happening down the hall. They had to make sure that you were okay, that’s why it was imperative for everyone to be quiet. Minho knows it takes two people to cheat, and that fact alone made all of this even worse. How could anyone do this to their best friend? She let herself out with a small ‘I’m sorry’.

But by far the worst expression was Changbin’s. Bin’s eyes still haunt Minho. He was the first to see her walking down, as he was the most on edge in the room. Seeing Soo? That shocked his system, he slowly backed up until he hit the wall farthest from the hall, clearly not his conscious being doing it. Minho could see the fact that Bin was not completely registering he was seeing her. When it finally did hit, Minho saw Bin’s being shatter for you. Minho saw as his eyes snapped from Soo to the hallway. His feet were frozen, he was trying to move closer to the hall again, wanting to move. Minho knew why he couldn’t move, he was broken for you. How do you comfort someone that was betrayed by their spouse and their best friend? He was so shocked, he let his body slide down the wall, hands in his hair. He kept looking down the hall, hearing intently, just in case he was needed but still in a crouch.

He felt a rage building at the memory, he saw himself going back to the house and dragging him here. Watching as he sees his whole life crumble in front of him. Even that wouldn't be enough payment for what he's done. 

Then he looked into your eyes, kindness and strength were all he could find. After all of this shit how are you still kind? How are you strong? He thought to himself. If he was in your shoes he would’ve dropped everyone and everything. Yet here you were. Welcoming Minho in. Your broken pieces in your hands, heart still bleeding, your life crumbling in one night, Why are you looking at me like that? He thought. 

A look of comforting silence, the want to help, why do you always want to help? Your hands open, showing the pieces, offering them to him…Everything is gone and you still want to give? His chest was getting tight and he didn’t know it but he started shaking slightly.

 Your voice mere minutes ago playing, ‘I can’t lose you MinMin. I can’t lose my boys, m’not strong enough,’He felt his being deflate, his soul cracking. Oh… we’re all you have. You are kind, loving,giving, strong, resilient, graceful, funny, and a million other things. Why? Why did he do that to her, why I don’t understand. She didn’t do anything. She only gave, time, affection, love to everyone she meets so why? Why did he do that to her? Why did they do that to her? It makes no sense. He was subconsciously bargaining. Wishing he fell asleep in the car, or he was in some elaborate nightmare… then why isn’t the nightmare ending, he feels his heart breaking, it should be over. He’s scared, not for himself but for you. The scream was real. Bin’s reaction was real… this isn’t a nightmare I WANT TO WAKE UP!.. He already was awake. 

Minho was so in his head that he didn't realize that he was crying, he was brought back by Changbin…

"Would you like to touch her? You can, Hyung." He said gently. His touch was equally as gentle, nudging Minho to the bed. Changbin loves you, a lot. A close second is Minho. No one, not even Minho could pin the type of love it is. All he knows that if you so much as get cut he is physically restraining himself not to coddle you. Which has never happened in his life, even with his exes. That’s why Bin is taking such a soft approach to this. 

Changbin’s aware that he had no choice but to accept what has happened. He was there when it happened. He saw all of it. Minho didn’t. The most he heard was your scream. Which, given, is enough to understand the severity. Believing and understanding are two things. Believing is the heart. Understanding is the mind. Understanding why a door opens is completely different from believing the door can open. He understood you screamed but his mind didn’t believe that what happened actually happened.

You patted the open space you made for him to lay as you said "C'mere MinMin… you wanted a hug, yeah? I promise I won't break." 

You noticed that Minho looked scared. He looked like you had asked him to throw porcelain at a wall. So you said, "I know it's a shock, but I'm here… I'm going to be okay. Can I have a hug or a cuddle please?" 

He walked to you and laid down. The minute you touched his skin he started crying harder. He’s a visual person. He can imagine a move before he makes it. That same gift is why he cried harder. He knew how close it was to him visiting a corpse at a funeral home. The milisecond you touched him, he imagined himself touching you for the last time, cold, in a coffin. That sent searing pain through his heart. He had no other choice but to sob. All you did was hold him and put his head right to your chest so he could hear your heartbeat. Letting him know in your own way, that you'll be okay. That you are alive. That there's nothing for him to feel bad or responsible for. 

He has been through a lot, and because of his outward nature he isn’t seen as a super touchy feely person, but he can never explain to you how happy he was that you put his head where you did. He had confirmation that you’re alive. It was beating right by his ear. Your heart is strong, you are here. He looked to Bin; whose face looked so empathetic then, as if to say to him I understand. It’s okay. 

He held your waist so gently, you could barely feel it. It ghosted over your frame like the sadness rolling off of Minho himself. As he laid there, crying he noticed how close he was to your belly too. That added on yet another level of sadness and pain. He knew you would've made a great mom. You're caring, compassionate, and to top it all off you carry yourself with such strength and grace. He would've loved to see it. 

Han came up to Minho and rubbed his leg as he directed the rest of the members except for Bin to hang back. Bin closed the curtain a little more.

Bin told him, "She's going to get better. She's seeing another doctor today a little before lunch and then after lunch, they're doing more tests for her iron count. But she's already feeling better." 

Han said, "I know she looks really sick, but she is going to be out of the woods soon." 

You said "Just having you here makes me feel so much better," and you kissed the back of his head. 

Minho said, "I'm sorry. I should've seen it."

You looked at him and said "It was something no one would have dreamed of him doing. I saw odd occurrences but I just said 'he'd never do that' and here we are. You are not responsible for another man's actions, okay?" 

You wiped his tears as he looked up at you, "Are you okay?" He asked with the most broken look on his face.

"I am now," you smiled at him and he just stood there for a bit. Lying on your chest while you combed through his hair with your hand while he calmed down. 

After a few minutes, the curtain was opened back up and you were swarmed by hugs, kisses, and everything in between. When everything settled down you asked a question that no one expected you to.

"How is Chris doing?" You even surprised yourself with that one but you couldn't help but wonder how he was.

Minho said, "he collapsed after Bin told us the news." 

I.N. continued "Everything from ‘I want to take it back’, to ‘Please God let her get through this." It was clear that he was over even giving Chan another iota of his time and breath. He didn’t tell you or anyone else about his feelings often. That’s because I.N. can come off as unfeeling, very blunt in many ways. He knew that if he were to say what he actually wanted to, it's not only going to do no good to the situation, but it’d also cause more grief for everyone involved. He just wanted the storm to be over already, the more he looks at you, though, the more he can tell that the storm just began. 

None of the boys would tell you, but I.N. was very close to killing Chan last night, you see he was the only one in the same room as Minho when he called Changbin. Chris was pacing so much right next to Minho that after he yelled at him to shut the fuck up, he ducked into Han’s room, to talk to him, I.N went with him. He just wanted to hear you were okay. That was all he wanted. He heard your screams, and Hannies stunned silence for what felt like years, only to hear “I’ve gotta go.” Right after that happened I.N stormed out, looking for Chan to kill him, if it wasn’t for Seungmin heading him off, I.N. would probably be in prison right now.

Seungmin said "Oh you forgot about my favorite, ‘I promise I'll make it right’. Like he ever could." His face turned hard at that moment. Understanding that no one can bring that baby back, take that trauma away. As if  a baby could so easily be forgotten, to ‘make it right’. 

You didn’t know but Seungmin felt nauseous at that sentence. Knowing Chan like he does, he’d probably try to not only convince you to get back together but to try again too fast. That thought is what made bile rise in his throat as he knows that Chan is the type to try to fix things quickly before anything sets in. Just recounting those thoughts made him debate running to the bathroom to puke. 

He couldn’t understand how someone could see all of the blood on Changbin, narrowly avoiding death via Changbin’s hands, and seeing the proof that a baby once was thriving in his wife and now that is not the case. Literally because of the shock that he caused. If he knew what he did he wouldn’t have said, “I’ll make it right.” He can’t raise the dead, erase your memory, hell he can’t even keep his dick in his pants, apparently; so how pray tell would he do the impossible… He can’t. 

Hyunjin said, "To be honest, none of us care what it does to him because he was the cause of it. He did this to you. To all three of you. We left before we beat him within an inch of his life. We have been waiting in the parking lot since."

There are so many emotions in the room, from disgust, all the way to enraged. One of the people who was enraged was Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin was the type of person to be closed off. A lot of people see him as just a pretty face but he is so much more than that. He’s a fantastic vocalist, rapper, and dancer. However, he is also an amazing artist, painting and drawing being his favorite mediums. So when you came around, Hyunjin was very hands off. You didn’t give up though, seeing his studio and complimenting him endlessly on his talents. 

It took a few months for him to really warm up to you, but once he did, you couldn’t get rid of him. Honestly you wouldn’t have it any other way. He was very warm and loved to make paintings for you, especially loved studying and drawing your face. He loved the angles and the emotions your face conveys, so some days he’d just walk into whatever room you’re in and he’d start snapping photos. Then he’d disappear into his studio, then the next week he’d bring you the oil painting of your face. Every single one was so pretty and you told him that you aren’t that pretty and every time he’d say, “You aren’t pretty… You’re gorgeous and don’t you ever forget it, My Queen.” His nickname for you was “Queen”. There’s no one as beautiful and regal as a queen, which is why it fits you perfectly. 

The first time he called you that nickname you giggled and said, “Hyunjin, you’re the royalty… not me.” He just told you, “Sure Prince’s are royal and handsome. But there is no one as beautiful, noble, wise, and royal as a Queen on her throne. If that isn’t you I don’t know what is.” Him being his dramatic self, kneeled down and kissed you hand, making you blush and giggle.  

When he looks at you now he is enraged that Chan did something so abhorrent to the person that he considers to be the most beautiful person inside and out, to the Queen. When he sees you now, your eyes lost their spark, lost their brightness. Your gorgeous skin, pale, dull, lacking iron. Your body, weaker than he’s ever seen it be. Your laugh, half hearted. Your smile, his favorite feature, can’t even reach your eyes… All of this and more made him want to tear Chan apart. 

Saying and doing the things that he did and said about you stunned everyone. Especially since you love each and every member and would walk through fire for them. All of the members could see in their heads the analogy ‘stabbed in the back’, coming to life. Both of them took a knife and stabbed you, their sister, their Queen, their best friend. In their eyes, he stabbed all of them, ripping apart the family he spent years creating, gone. 

Just hearing what Chan said after he left, Felix got thrown into the memory of barely 9 hours ago, at the 3 Racha house:

Felix asked Chris to join him on the couch right after Minho and I.N. left the room to talk to Bin. Chris was still waiting outside the room and Felix called him into the living room, once more. As soon as Chris sat down Felix grilled him, “Why Chris? She would do anything for you. Walk through Hell and back, face any and every threat for you… And this is what you do? Why did you even ask her out if you knew Bin-” he got cut off.

“Don’t finish that sentence Felix.” Chan looked at him through lidded eyes, rubbing his face. 

Felix could still see the marks on him, the hickeys, the light scratches on his back. If he got close enough he could still smell her on him. It made Felix sick to his stomach. Felix got angry at that, “THEN FUCKING ANSWER ME CHRIS! WHAT WAS THE POINT? WHY DID YOU HURT HER LIKE THIS?!” 

“She was never supposed to know.” Chris said in a detached manner, “It was just harmless fun! I needed a release Felix, something you wouldn’t know about.” 

Felix’s face broke, throwing his hands up, “Oh really? That’s disgusting. YOU are disgusting. You needed a release? How about going to your gorgeous wife and making love to her? Or y’know, go to the gym, watch some anime… LITERALLY ANYTHING OTHER THAN CHEATING!”

Chris said, “I tried all of that, Felix. I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

Felix’s jaw dropped, “ You’re right, you don’t need to explain yourself to me. I don’t know how we didn’t see you before. This,” he motioned to Chris’ body, “Is the real you… and it’s vile. How dare you do that to her! How dare you make her feel inferior, degrade her in her own home, in her own bed.” 

Then Felix said something that he will never regret in his life, “You never deserved her. Bin should’ve been with her from DAY ONE! You are pathetic.” He glared at Chan, who got up to size up to Felix.  Felix got up and matched him, unphased as he said, “I hope she leaves you. As a matter of fact, I pray that she leaves you because she doesn’t deserve to wonder what her husband is doing behind her back. She deserves to be pampered. She deserves to be with someone who actually wants to spend time with her and love her. She deserves to be taken care of. Because all she has EVER done for us, is take care of us.”

He then got in Chris’ face as he said, “I hope to GOD that she leaves you for Changbin. That way she’ll know what real love is. And if anything happens to Y/N or my niece or nephew… God help you. God help you and your whore. You both ruined two lives today and I will NEVER let you forget it. I promise you that.” 

Chris didnt say anything as Felix growled with all of the base in his voice, “Now…Sit… the fuck… down.” 

It was only when Han changed the subject that Felix was ripped from the memory.

Han could sense where the conversation was going and he immediately changed the subject, he started to crack jokes and mess with the other members. After a bit you yawned and reached for Bin, “Binnie…” 

He looked at you, saw you yawn again, and he laid down with you, “ok come here.” He said as he gently cradled you. He petted your hair back as you wiggled yourself closer, finally sighing when you deemed Binnie close enough to let the heat seep into your bones.

Han looked and said, “Oh I get it. I am right here, perfect for cuddling and you pick him I get it.” he started smirking at you but leaned over to kiss your forehead on Bin’s chest. 

Despite the noise in the room, you were out in minutes. Hyunjin was the first to notice, who nudged Felix, who then set off a chain reaction until everyone was smirking at you and Bin cuddling. 

He wasn’t focused on them though, he was running his fingers through your hair, drawing random patterns on your back as he watched you sleep. It was only when he saw a faint flash that he looked up to see Hyunjin with his phone up. He looked at them and mouthed, “don’t make me laugh she just got to sleep.”

But no one was laughing. They always could tell the fondness he had for you. It was so obvious Minho would tell him to stop following you around like a puppy. It was their way of saying that they knew.

That whole thought made his face drop. In his head, he should’ve never let Chan within 100 feet of you. He went to Chan about the crush he had on you first, being one of his closest friends. He was asking for advice on how to get over his nerves and just ask you out.

  Chris has psyched him out, though, saying things like, "I don't think she's into you, man. She seems a bit more interested in me. But don't worry, I'll take care of her." And "I don't know man. I mean you can try but if she rejects you, you have to be prepared for that. I wouldn't if I were you though. You seem like the friend type for her. Not the boyfriend type." 

He was thinking about how he should've followed his own heart and gut, which are rarely on the same page. Both of you love working out, music, food, nutrition, the list goes on and on. One of his favorite memories with you is before anyone asked you out. 

You had invited him to the Han River. He didn't know why but it was a picnic you set up for him especially. He had gotten very stressed out during a meeting with the execs in the company he works for. They had told him to lose weight… yet again. He doesn't feel comfortable at a lower weight. He feels physically weaker, his mind not as sharp. 

You yourself had tried to explain to Chan what Bin was feeling. That’s largely because you have always struggled with feeling good at the weight you were at but everyone told you, you were just too big. When you had gone through similar diets you felt like a walking zombie. You couldn’t even think of going to the gym, because your brain just didn’t work with no fuel.

The societal pressure onto that only added to the chaos, and you couldn’t imagine how lonely it felt to be told by employers that you need to cut down, as well as go to the hectic schedules that Bin had to, and worry about making content, and trying to keep at least some of your life private. You couldn’t see him go through that alone. 

That was when you had the picnic. He had no idea that you knew about that meeting, but it was actually Felix that tipped you off to it. If there’s anyone in the world who would get what Bin was going through it was you. As always, you knew how to make Bin smile. You set up at his favorite spot, making healthy foods and also packing some of his favorite shakes. When he walked up to it, his face lit up, and so did yours. He ended up playing hooky that day, and spent the whole day with you. It’s one of his favorite memories. Now it's bittersweet.

He was mad at himself at those thoughts, Chris was so clearly into you so he used Bin’s insecurities against him… and it had worked. He thought about how all of this wouldn’t have happened and you and him would be happy together. That’s all he ever wanted for you. That was why he let you go in the first place. He wanted you to be happy.

After about a half an hour of hushed talking while Bin kept you relaxed, a set of footsteps walked down the hall. Just hearing them, Bin’s ears perked up. They had an authority to them, almost pompous in nature. Commanding… he knows those steps.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

WANT MORE?! TELL ME SO! Want in on the tags? Shoot me an ask and consider it done!!

STRAY KIDS TAGS!:

@Fuckthinking, @feybin, @1-800-shedevil, @channiesbakery, @channieswhore, @hwangswhore, @seungminhour, @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat, @seventeenytiny, @dreaming-medium, @thunderous-wolf, @hanjsquokka, @moonjxsung, @diddybok, @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz-recs, @straykeedz , @straykeedz, @tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs, @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex, @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox, 

@laylasbunbunny,@uwuitsjungwoo, @3racha-soup, @bandolls , @bomi-ja , @skzfairyyyf8te

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids angst #skz x reader #skz imagines #skz scenarios #bang chan x reader #changbin #han jisung #Aftermath of a miscarriage #some fluff #descriptions of grief due to losing a baby #Crying Leeknow #There are flashes of death #Grief #anger #shock

[mysterycharacterflowers]

Round 1; A bouquet of white, red and black roses Vs A bouquet of white chrysanthemums, orchids and blue hydrangeas

If you know who they are, or are pretty sure of it, please don't tell until this poll has ended!

First, lets talk abou the bouquet of white, red and black roses

Meaning and why these flowers were chosen: White, Red and Black roses. They are very Alice in Wonderland coded, and those flowers are explicitly mentioned in a scene where the queen asks them to be painted. That aside, they are also flowers that represent loyalty, devotion and most importantly, death. Description: This character is a tool to be used by others. They come in a set, and while their abilities may change, their goal does not. The only purpose this living, breathing girl has is to serve. Because of this, she is feared. But she is also adored. She is used, and does not mind it. Mostly. Even if she did, she couldn't change it. She's a loyal, devoted girl who is ready for death at any time. They all are.

Now let's talk about the bouquet of white chrysanthemums, orchids and blue hydrangeas

Check their post here

Meaning: White Chrysanthemums: represent grief and are a way to pay respects to the deceased, especially family. Orchids: represent strength and beauty in the face of adversity. They can symbolize his resilience and the beauty he brings to the lives of those around him. Irises: are a symbol of hope and wisdom. They can represent his ability to persevere and make wise decisions despite the difficulties he has faced. Blue Hydrangeas: can symbolize deep emotions and understanding. They can represent both the grief he feels due to losing his family and the understanding to push through regardless. Description: This is a young man who has faced a series of hardships in life, lacking guidance and living day-to-day without clear goals or ambitions. He has lost both his parents and his older sister in car accidents, leaving him with no immediate family except for his goddaughter. Despite not even having a girlfriend previously, he now has to adapt to caring for a baby without much, if any, support. It's heavy, but he carries it extremely well. He's a very loving person and has been a great father thus far, all things considered. He's hard working, compassionate, and above all else wants to do his family proud. He is so tired though. He doesn't find himself smiling often. Poor thing.

Check their post here

#mysterious character 2: bouquet of white red black roses #round 1 #mysterious character 2: bouquet of white chrysanthemums - orchids - blue hydrangeas

[some27-url]

I was tagged by @twosides--samecoin ! I have done this challenge before I think ? Maybe? But idk it's been a while and I am atrocious at tagging my posts appropriately so there's no way ill ever find it

I'm gonna tag @kittimau and @possumteeths :)

Rules: We would like to ask you to recommend us 3 of YOUR fics: 1 that is "most popular" and 2 that are "hidden gems”!

1) Illusions series (most popular)

{Rating : EXPLICIT} {Graphic Depictions of Violence} {Manipulation/Gaslighting} {Rough Sex} {Under Negotiated Kink} {ADHD} {PTSD} {Bodyguard Romance}

MacCready/f!sosu. What if the sole survivor hadn't seen Kellog kill her husband and steal her baby? And what if she was pursuing a master's in mechanical engineering at CIT when the bombs dropped and decided to try and build society from scratch instead if dealing with her grief? What if Mac took a job as her bodyguard and unintentionally caught feelings, and therefore near constant fear of history repeating itself as she whirlwinds her way through rebuilding the Commonwealth? And what if they both had ADHD?

Illusions was my first experience in writing fic, and the story just keeps going. Right now I'm thinking it'll be four parts (we're two parts in) but a couple months ago I was thinking 3. When I first started, I was thinking 100k max. 😭

I wrote this story with ADHD in mind, both for the characters and for my readers. I struggle to read for pleasure anymore due to a short attention span, so my writing style prioritizes a quick pace over descriptive prose. If you struggle to read for similar reasons and don't mind having to fill in some blanks yourself, this series might be a good fit for you!

2) Secure

{Rating : EXPLICIT} {Graphic Depictions of Violence} {Rape/Non-Con} {Consensual but not Safe or Sane} {Amnesia}

Craig Boone/f!courier. A Boone fic in which Boone fucks within the first 2k without sacrificing his devotion to Carla. They also fuck in all the other chapters. It's a 25k fuck and angst fest.

3) Tit for Tat

{Rating : EXPLICIT} {Graphic Depictions of Violence} {Blood and Gore} {Gore is Sexy} {Unhealthy Relationships} {Stalking} {Older Man/Younger Woman} {Oral Sex}

Deacon/f!Sosu. Deacon and Whisper swap favors. Whisper is convinced she's losing her partner. Deacon's determined to earn his prize.

The third in a non-sequential ongoing series about a Deacon and a Sosu who aren't involved with one another, because that would be unprofessional. They're really good at playing pretend, though, and the people they pretend to be are some real nasty fuckers.

#fallout 4 fanfiction #fallout 4 #writing #fo4 #rj maccready #leonora jean arnold #deacon #elanor blysse green #tag meme

[caeca-iustitia]

Yhovako (nix feles)

Basic Description- A species of humanoid with distinctly cat-like characteristics that are capable of shifting their form at will to that of a large cat. They are shorter and stockier than humans and make for great hunters and scavengers. Unfortunately, the species is in rapid and inevitable decline as humans have begun to use them as pets and servants. Fewer couples are producing babies and the species is suffering due to human greed and the encroaching Blight that ravages their land.

-

General Stats

-

Description Split By Gender

Male - Small and typically quite stocky with powerful legs that closely resemble those of a cat. Standard height is around 5 feet with rare exceptions being taller; maximum height appearing to be around 5’6. Males are the ones left at home to take care of the children and are usually in charge of protecting the home. 

Female - Even smaller than their male counterparts but significantly more muscular; their powerful hind legs are made for keeping up with prey for extended periods. Standard height is approximately 4’6 with the tallest of them being 5 feet in height. Females are the hunters and gatherers- commanding the house from dawn to dusk. 

-

Bearers are an uncommon sight amongst the Yhovako due to their feline nature; though there are rare veins of Yhovako that can wield magic like a human. They usually rely on their natural instincts and conventional methods of survival rather than that of the humans around them. It is understood that Bearers are decidedly more common if the Yhovako mate with a human being; the genetics are far more dominant than in a Yhovako-Yhovako pairing.

Any Yhovako capable of wielding magic can be identified by their unnatural colouration and they are greatly praised; being elevated to high positions in their respective pride. They also do not suffer from the Crystal’s Curse because of their mixed blood but do expend more energy to cast spells than human Bearers do. 

-

When a Yhovako mates, they mate for life and are incredibly loyal to the one they love. 

Whether that partner is male, female, neither or both doesn’t seem to matter to the Yhovako as they are far more accepting of homosexual relationships and relationships that don’t conform to the norms dictated by humans. 

Even those who have polygamous relationships are seen positively by the pride they live in and there doesn’t appear to be much competition in those relationships either- everyone within is treated equally and with as much love as the others.

Yhovako are incredibly affectionate with their mates and will bring prospective mates gifts to please them; which is surprisingly done more often by females for their male mates. Children play a major role in a mated couple's life which tends to further strengthen a bond between them. 

Homosexual couples are observed to take in orphaned children and give them a loving home; something that applies to children of both Yhovako and human heritage. While having children of your own blood is encouraged- and far more common- the Yhovako seem unbothered by the prospect of adopting a child.

Losing a mate/beloved (another name for a prospective mate) is very hard on the Yhovako and they find living on without their mate very difficult. It is common for a widow/widower to be inconsolable after a mate's death; sadly leading to them dying from a broken heart or taking their own life. 

Very rarely will a bereaved mate survive the mourning period and be able to reenter Yhovako society. They will not mate again and many won’t even fall in love again; resigning themself to a lonely life without a mate. A polyamorous Yhovako who loses a beloved/mate will isolate themself from their other beloveds/mates until they either pass away or work through their grief alone. Sadly the statistics show that there is a higher rate of deaths in polyamorous Yhovakos who lose a mate.

-

Random Facts

The Yhovako cannot roar but will instead ‘chuff’ when in their feline forms.

In human form, the Yhovako can purr and hiss.

The magic-bearing Yhovako are capable of wielding up to 2 elements at once with great strain so long as they have the genetics to do so.

A Yhovako's hearing is 3 times more sensitive than a human's which makes them ideal scouts.

The males of the species are naturally submissive and will often defer to their female mate before making a decision alone- unless their mate is incapacitated or otherwise occupied.

The Yhovako have adjusted to speaking human languages quite well in their humanoid forms.

It is unfortunately quite common for a Yhovako adolescent to be taken from their family by a rich noble as a pet or to be later used as a sexual object when they become an adult. 

Crossbreeds between a human and a Yhovako are known as ‘Mianie’ to the Yhovako.

#{ 🍒 out of character post } #{ 🌍 worldbuilding } #{ 🐈 marc van der straeten } #[God help me] #[It is so long...] #[*screaming*]

[yn-dreamlife]

Jealous Princess

Pairing: Don west x reader

Warnings: Shitty description (because I suck at writing them), angst, mentions/hints of mentions of sex, talks of aftercare, talks of subdrop (not specifically stated but if you know what they are you should be able to know when I'm talking about them), fluff, making up

Description: After the accident on the Resolute you don't think you'll ever see your boyfriend again. So when you do you should be happy, but all you can think of is: why is he calling someone else your nickname?

A/N: Hey guys I'm sorry, I know this wasn't one of the stories- or whatever you want to call these things- that I promised but don't worry I am working on those, but I will do this sometimes if I get an idea that I'm very passionate about. Like I have a Denki story idea that might be coming out soon too.

| Main Masterlist | Random Works Masterlist |

Sadness, that’s all you had felt for what felt like years. But it was a matter of days.

It was a matter of days since something had gone wrong on the resolute.

A matter of days since you sat till the very last moment in your Jupiter before leaving because you couldn’t leave him behind.

A matter of days since you were sure you would never see Don West again.

Done West, the man who held your heart and soul and every single bit in between. The man who you swore to marry. The man who gave you the ring that rests on your finger. The man who you had kissed goodbye for what you feared to be the last time.

But at least you had kissed him, at least you had whispered the soft exchange of ‘I love you’ that morning, at least he had held you in his arms one last time. Because you two had made a deal because you both know space is wild. It’s unknown and danger lies everywhere. You never know what will happen, so you two can never go to bed mad. No matter how angry or annoyed you have to stay up and work through it. And no matter how tired or even if the other is sleeping or busy you never leave without saying goodbye. Because you never know if that’s it.

When you had landed you had landed in a forest-type area, quickly putting up a small parameter of a guard fence to keep things out and assessing your surroundings. It was hard doing things alone. But eventually, you located the Jupiter of the Dhar family so you kept in contact with them but otherwise, you stuck to your own Jupiter.

You did your tasks numbly, no music blasting as you and Don danced around laughing and singing off-key. No random pillow fights or clothes wars as you trashed the Jupiter you two were trying to clean… just silence. And you were drowning.

Then one day you heard the voice, the voice of the resolute captain. Captain Radic, but he couldn’t hear anything back and it was frustrating. You begged that if Don was still up there he would be his stubborn crazy self and force his way to that damn microphone and shout through it and down to you that he was safe, that he was alive. But no call came.

And the day a call did come it was from Dhar, he wanted everyone to report to Jupiter 11 so you got into your chariot and drove there in the silence you now had made home. When you arrived you didn’t smile, your eyes didn’t sparkle and you looked like the walking dead.

A woman named Maureen had checked on you the moment she saw you, offering to take you to her daughter who was a doctor to treat you but when you told her it wouldn’t help she seemed to understand. You did your tasks silently and stuck to yourself ignoring everyone but Dhar who was giving commands.

You were standing above a station then, mindlessly staring off as your hands did the task you had now done for five hours now. It was a minimal thought task, good in the sense that it didn’t matter how lost in thought you got. And bad in the sense it didn’t matter how lost in thought you got. So memories played in your brain. Memories of something you deemed to be lost forever.

And then you heard it “Well hello there princess,” you dropped everything your expression blanking as your mind reeled. You were going insane, you would have to tell someone that you were hearing voices and shouldn’t be working anymore. You would have to-

“What do you want Don?” A female spoke somewhere behind you and you spun around kicking the small rocks up beneath your feet as you did so.

No- it can’t be… “oh what can’t a guy come check up on a friend?” And there he was… Don West the man you had been mourning for days stood before you, breathing, alive, smiling, laughing, talking, teasing- wait…. teasing.

“No not with you. You always want something.” You looked to the girl and you despised yourself for the jealousy that had bubbled over your newfound elation. ‘Had he not seen me? Was he ignoring me? Who was this beautiful young girl? And why was he calling her princess?’

Thoughts swarmed your mind. Fueled by your aching heart, because you had yet to speak to him, yet to hold him and touch him, and yet he seemed perfectly fine about the whole ordeal. Like he didn’t care that you might have been dead.

The woman began walking away moving towards you “oh come on now don’t be like tha-“ but his voice stopped as his eyes hit you. “Princess?” He called and the other woman had the audacity to turn and face him.

“What Don?” But he didn’t answer her, and some part of you enjoyed that. You were never one to get on Don for who he hangs around or what he calls them… but princess is what he called you. It just… stung. It felt like you had been replaced, but perhaps it was just the fragile mindset you had been in for at least a week now due to grief.

“Holy shit.” He whispered as he moved to you quickly a bright grin on his face. “Fuck, I’ve missed you so much“ he pulled you into his arms and you found yourself melting into his embrace despite the fact you were somewhat angry, and most certainly jealous. You had so much you wanted to ask, to demand. But it died in your throat as he pulled you to him.

You held onto him as tears began to cascade down your cheeks. He was holding you, he was real, it wasn’t a hallucination. And then he pulled away slightly looking you over. He peppered kisses all over your neck and face. His hands never found purchase on you and you were forced to stand there in shock as the tears continued.

But he didn’t care that your beautiful face was being covered in tears, because he was too wrapped up in the fact it was you. You were alive and real and here and safe. Of course, he never liked to see you cry, but he himself had to have been crying or damn near close to it.

“My princess. My beautiful, beautiful princess, I’ve been so worried I-“ but your hand had moved and before you knew it you had slapped him. Part of you regretted it, part of you was reeling at the thought that you had just hit Don but part of you was angry and oh so very jealous. “Ow, what was that for?!”

“Don’t call me what you just called her.” You growled, and his eyes widened. He always knew how your mindset was even before you did. Always able to tell the sparks of jealousy littering your eyes, and he always knew how to help.

“Wait baby hold on a second-“ he tried to speak quickly making sure to do as you had said and not call you princess. He honestly hadn't even thought about it, about what he had been calling Judy because to him it wasn’t the same as what he called you.

“No, Don” and you pried yourself from his grasp. Realizing you had made a scene you grabbed his hand and pulled him away moving towards the parameter fence.

“Y/n you have to listen to me,” he spoke desperately and you finally stopped a few feet away from the fence turning to face him.

You found yourself then spewing all the horrid thoughts that came to your mind. “Did you even worry? Did you even care that perhaps I was dead? Or the second you lived and made it you decided that it didn’t matter. That this ring didn’t matter, that I didn’t matter! Because hey ‘it’s not cheating if she’s dead’ right?!”

And Don just stood in front of you listening, he didn’t interrupt, he didn’t try to stop you. And when you had moved closer to him still yelling he stood waiting, and when you got in arms-length he grasped you and held you. He held you despite the fact you tried to pound your fist on his chest.

“I hate you!” You screamed as the tears fell once again, “why couldn’t you wait for me?! Why did you move on so quickly?! Don’t you love me?! Wasn’t I enough for you?! Were you not scared?!”

Don held you then too, he held you as you stopped hitting him and your knees buckled. He moved to the ground pulling you into his lap allowing you to let it out. Let out all the anger and sadness and pain he could see you had been holding in.

Because that’s all this was, you know Don and he knows you. You know that yes he did care, that yes he was scared, that yes he was in pain at the thought of losing you. You knew that he hadn’t moved on from you and he wasn’t cheating. You had known the truth to it all. You both knew that, and yet he took it. Because you needed to let it go, let out all the feelings you bottled away and Don was going to let you, like all the times you offered yourself to abate his anger he was now offering himself to you.

It was a long few moments of silence. No exchange of words or half-hearted blows from you. He rocked you gently one hand petting your hair while the other rubbed up and down your lower back your hiccupped sobs becoming less intense.

“I worried about you since the moment I stepped out of our Jupiter that morning.” He whispered. “I worried I would never see you again, that I would never hold you again. I wished I had called out of work and feigned being sick. I wished that I hadn’t let you go that morning.

“All I’ve thought about since I left is you. All I’ve thought about is how I’m going to get to you, or how I’m going to figure out if you’re dead or alive. They told me that everyone was coming here, anyone who was alive would be here and I looked. I looked during the meeting, I looked during instructions and I didn’t see you.

“I lost hope, all I could think is you were dead. You were dead and it was my fault.” He squeezed you tighter to him and you found yourself wanting to speak up but he continued.

“That girl you saw me with, her name is Judy Robinson. She’s a doctor, and she’s eighteen.” Heat flared to your cheeks in shame, she was still practically a child…. you had been jealous of a child. “I called her princess because at first, I thought ‘she’s full of herself, and she thinks she’s better than everyone'. Never once did I mean it the way I do with you. Because there’s a difference, she’s not my princess.”

You found your heart fluttering at his words and you looked up at him, “I’m sorry Don. I just- I don’t know why I reacted like that. I know how… I know how important I am to you.”

He leaned down cupping your cheek, “don’t you ever apologize, beautiful. Emotions are emotions we can’t control them and I’ll always take care of them when they get too much for you. It’s the same situation if you were to fall into a fragile headspace after… well you… you know” and a red color had adorned his cheeks at the thoughts that must have filled his brain.

And he was right whenever you were coming down from a euphoric cocktail of hormones he was there to make it easy and gentle and the one time you accidentally crashed he was there then to. To calm down the emotions and hormones swimming in your mind.

A small giggle had left you and he found himself smiling again. But it dropped as yours did “I’m still sorry Don. I shouldn’t have hit you.”

He shook his head with a chuckle, “I would have hit me too if I thought what you just had been.”

But you shook your head, “I should never hit you… I promise I’ll make it up to you. Maybe later we can…. well you… you know” you mocked his earlier stutter slightly.

He leaned in his lips almost fully connecting with yours whispering, “I’ll hold you to that princess” and then finally pressing his lips to yours.

#don west #lost in space #lost in space don west #lost in space x reader #don west x reader #don west x y/n #don west x you

[beyond-the-mirror]

The Blue Eyed King’s Gift

Welcome back to another chapter of this story! Have you already guessed which fairy tales is it inspired by? You can find one of the answers in the tags below.

Tagging @v-vic​, if you wish to be tagged you can let me know at any moment.

I also want to give special thanks to @thottyonmainsquid​ for beta reading and offering her great and brilliant advice, as well as our discord server for their support and inspiring shenanigans.

Pairings: Vergil x Fem Reader

Warnings: War and violence. Mild gory descriptions, nothing too explicit.

Part One - Part Three - Part Four

……………………..

Part Two

Once upon a time, there existed a vast kingdom ruled by a great and powerful demon who possessed a heart as merciful and gentle as that of a human.

At the beginning of his reign, the Demon King bestowed upon all the humans of his land the ancient magic of his kind, quite unlike his predecessors that kept said magic to themselves selfishly alongside a few nobles of demonic heritage. With this wonderful gift, the inhabitants were able to access greater knowledge, developing more advanced technologies that greatly improved their lives. Soon enough the kingdom grew larger than ever before, making alliances with neighboring countries in order to selflessly share their magic and science with those who needed it most. Such was the will of the Demon King, who reigned over the peaceful land for centuries.

One day, the king fell in love with a human woman, and took the ultimate decision to renounce his immortality in order to spend the rest of his days with her as his beloved queen. From this union, two children were born, twin little boys with pristine white hair and blue eyes. The entire kingdom was overjoyed at the news, a long lasting celebration was held in honor of the newborn princes. As time passed, the twins grew up to become well respected nobles among the people, as well as skilled swordsmen just like their father. The younger one had a spirit like the sun, warm and vibrant; the older one had a spirit like the moon, calm and piercing.

……………………..

Many years later, the Demon King and his beloved queen passed away at their shared bed due to old age, both with a peaceful smile on their faces at the fulfilling lives they had shared with each other. At their passing, the elder brother was crowned as king of Fortuna in a most luscious ceremony which hosted many representatives of their allied countries. The Blue Eyed King was able to reign as benevolently and wisely as his late father; however, he would often question his trust in some of Fortuna’s allies, concerns that he kept even after his crowning.

During a festival at the town square, someone caught the monarch’s attention, a beautiful maiden with a heart of gold lively dancing and twirling to the cheery music. At the end of the song, their eyes locked for a few moments that seemed almost eternal, and he knew he just had to meet her. Love blossomed between them, which some time later led to a joyful marriage between the two. The king and queen lived together with great happiness, their love as profound as the immensity of the universe.

Such happiness wouldn’t last long.

……………………..

After a medical checkup, the couple was informed that the young queen could not bear any children. The news absolutely devastated her, driving her into a severe depression that kept her isolated in her private chambers for months to come. In his despair to help his wife, the king did everything in his power to aid her in her malady. Every single medic was summoned to the palace, doctors, healers, therapists… the young king prayed every day and night for the recovery of his beloved, always tending to her side and holding her close as many times as she allowed him too.

One day, after many painful months, the queen finally gathered some energy and emerged from her chambers, much to the relief of all the servants and the young king himself. She made one single request to her husband.

She showed him a small bag of seeds “My beloved. Allow me to plant these seeds in our royal garden, and tend to them with my very own hands. I don’t wish to be helped by our servants and gardeners, who have already done so much for me these past months. Please, let me be the only one to nurture these seeds.”

As much as he wanted to protest her decision to work despite her health condition, the king obliged. Whatever it took to make his love recover her lost happiness, he would gladly accept.

The next months, the queen would be seen tending to the seeds she planted in the garden, which eventually grew into many exquisite blue roses thanks to her love and dedication. The king was filled with joy knowing that his wife had finally started to smile again, little by little did she recover and soon she was back into her usual cheery self.

None of them would have expected the tragedy that was about to fall upon the kingdom.

……………………..

They attacked at midnight while everyone slumbered. Loud explosions from their cannons shattered the calm atmosphere of the night, reducing buildings and homes to rubble and dust. 

Nobody would have expected that this particular allied country would ever consider the benefits given by Fortuna as simply not enough for them. Envious and greedy, they wanted the great kingdom’s power and riches all for themselves.

As his twin rushed to take care of the siege engines surrounding the city, the Blue Eyed King and his army fought valiantly against the enemy who planned to infiltrate the grand palace. He had struck down another group of soldiers with a graceful cut from his demon sword Yamato when an all too familiar scream made his blood run cold. Looking around frantically, he spotted through the corner of his eye the queen running towards the royal garden. The king immediately bolted after his beloved, only to stop dead in his tracks at what he saw once he reached her.

The queen laid lifeless on the exact same roses she had planted months ago, the blooms now crushed and their petals painted red with her blood. Towering before her, the very own general that commanded such an act of treason against Fortuna, standing victoriously arrogant at the murder he had commited.

At that moment something broke inside the king. Everything happening around him became mere white noise as pure rage and sorrow drowned his rationality. A blaze of blue fire enveloped the king as he embraced his demonic heritage, and with a mighty roar that shattered the night skies above and the earth below, he unleashed his fury at the ones that took his love away.

……………………..

Everyone watched in horror as a dark atmosphere consumed the entire city, even the soldiers stopped fighting and froze on their sports as the heavy darkness wrapped around everything it could touch.

And then, it happened.

It was strangely beautiful, the way thousands of light beams shot instantaneously through the air like fractals of blue energy, followed shortly by a delicate hum that resonated everywhere, not unlike the chirping of birds at breaking dawn. The lights illuminated the streets as if it were a sunny day despite being in the dead of the night. All who bore witness to the otherworldly display found themselves hypnotized by its beauty, the sight so alluring, so alluring... 

And just as it had begun, it ended, like a lightning breaking through the storm in a matter of seconds. During that time nobody dared make a move, too stunned at what they had just witnessed.

The Blue Eyed King sheathed his sword.

One by one, every single soldier from the enemy country fell to the ground in unrecognizable pieces, a sickening sound as their remains sploshed and bloodied the streets. It was a nightmarish sight, how an entire army was eradicated in just an instant and in such a grotesque manner.

Silence reigned over the ruined kingdom once more, as if a war had never happened in the first place.

……………………..

The prince rushed to the palace, knowing something must have happened to his older brother after realization had hit him. His imposing red wings pierced the sky as he flew, a twisted feeling that tugged at his heart telling him that something must have gone terribly wrong.

As he landed at the now rundown garden, he saw his brother’s true demon form thrashing around in torment.

Overwhelmed by his grief, the king kept ripping and tearing down the now mangled body of the opposing general. Even his own demon sword laid forgotten on the ground as he preferred to discharge his wrath with his very own claws.

The prince immediately seized him, trying his best to calm down his brother. However, the beast inside him had completely consumed him, leaving only a primal creature thirsty for blood and revenge.

Suddenly, an unexpected cry resonated through the garden, interrupting the fight between the twin brothers.

Both demons stood bewildered as the high pitched wailing continued, breaking the silence that permeated the garden. The Blue Demon quickly scanned the area, looking for the source of the strange noise, his breaths slowly evening out as he started to recover some of his lost clarity.

His blue fiery eyes widened as he noticed the sound was coming just next to the corpse of his long lost queen.

Without losing a minute the beast prowled towards her body. Upon closer inspection, her arms seemed to be enclosed around something, as if protecting it and keeping it safe until her very last breath. Ever so carefully, the Blue Demon pried her arms open, minding the sharp talons that had replaced his human nails.

In her embrace, a single intact blue rose laid. The bud was abnormally bigger than the rest of the blooms that laid broken around her, gigantic even. As the king focused on the bizarre flower, he realized that the cries were coming from inside it, just as he too observed a few slight movements on its soft inner petals

In the most gentle and careful manner, the beast opened the rose bud. What he found inside brought tears to his eyes.

Two newborn babies were cuddled inside the unnatural flower, flailing their tiny limbs and crying in distress. The infants had pale rosy skin, soft white tufts of hair crowned atop of their heads.

The king turned beast stood astonished at the sight, not expecting to find such innocent lives at the now crumbled ruins that were once his and his wife’s garden.

Scales turned into flesh, talons transformed into lithe fingers. The king slowly reached for the children with shaky arms, pulling them out of the rose and cradling them against his chest. The babies nuzzled after the warmth he exuded, one that soothed their alarmed cries little by little. It was then that they finally fluttered their eyes open, and the king let out a startled gasp.

One had light blue eyes like an endless ocean at peace, very much like the kings’ own. The other had mesmerizing green eyes like a lively forest, very much like… His heart swelled with both joy and melancholy. The child’s eyes were very much like his beloved queens’.

What the monarch failed to realize at that moment was that this was his beloved’s last gift. Unbeknownst to him, amidst the doctors that had been summoned to treat her infertility, there was an elderly woman who was praised for her unique medicinal practices involving a combination of magic and science. Knowing this, the queen begged for her help as soon as she had recognized her presence in her chambers. 

The elderly woman gifted her a small satchel full of magic-imbued seeds, instructing her to add a drop of her own blood as well as one of the king’s into the satchel before planting them, warning that the seeds would only grow by the hands of the queen herself. According to her words, one of the roses would bear a child after 9 months, an heir with the same blood used to soak the seeds at the beginning.

After offering her heartfelt gratitude to the healer, the queen set to work as soon as possible, one night even pricking her husband’s finger while he slept in order to follow those same instructions. She worked day and night, tending to the roses while ignoring the worrying looks of the servitude and those of the king himself. Above all, the queen prayed to the gods every morning she would get up to keep gardening. When she noticed one of the roses growing much more than the others, the smile she thought long lost had finally returned.

The infants stared at the man holding them before raising their small hands, reaching for his face as they giggled ever so sweetly.

For the first time in his life, the Blue Eyed King broke into tears, now understanding why his beloved was in such a rush making her way to the garden.

These children were his sons, his and his queen’s very own flesh and blood.

She had given her life to save their children.

The king hugged the little boys in his arms tightly, tears after tears cascaded down his face. His younger brother, now back into his human self, fell to his knees and embraced his brother, hoping to alleviate some of his brother’s pain as he too broke down.

He could barely hear his brother’s words as he spoke between heartbreaking sobs. “No mortal shall ever cause you pain, my beautiful children. I am your father, and until my very last breath, I shall protect you.”

……………………..

As dawn broke, all the surviving Fortunians were gathered in front of the palace gates. By order of the king, every single inhabitant of the kingdom had been relocated to the citadel which will later be rebuilt and occupied.

Before everyone, the Blue Eyed King vowed and swore to protect his people by all means necessary. And if it meant cutting ties with the rest of the world, then so shall be his will and command. Fortuna had been betrayed by who they considered an ally, and he will make sure a tragedy like this one would never happen again. 

For the sake of his people. For the sake of his sons.

The king unsheathed his sword, and with an all-powerful cut, he split the land around the great citadel and the surrounding villages, severing all cuts with the outside world and enveloping it in a magical barrier.

In the blink of an eye, the Great Kingdom of Fortuna was gone.

……………………..

Once upon a time, there existed a vast kingdom ruled by a great and powerful demon. However, every remnant of its existence vanished without leaving any trace behind. As ages went by, nature grew and reclaimed the unoccupied land, eventually forming a thick forest where all kinds of wild creatures lived in harmony.

For the rest of humanity, Fortuna had been long lost. This, however, couldn’t be further than the truth.

The great kingdom still stood proud and prosperous, albeit in another plane of existence cut off from all mundane ties to our world. A plane of existence where even time itself behaved in the most different and unexpected ways possible.

It was a bit difficult at the beginning, but the inhabitants soon adapted to their environment without any more trouble. In no time they managed to rebuild their homes and return to their normal lifestyles, now convinced that the decision made by the Blue Eyed King was the best for everyone.

Peace once again reigned over the kingdom. And as long as its existence remained a secret to the outside world, nothing shall ever take it away.

#devil may cry #fairy tale au #fairy tale inspired #thumbelina #Vergil Sparda #vergil x reader #vergil x you #dadgil #Papa Vergil #fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert

[winifredsandersonsbitch]

“Wallow”

Spike x Summers!Reader, BTVS

Warnings: swearing, violence, mentions of sex, S6 SPOILERS!!!

Description: Out of the five stages of grief, anger is the one that appeals most to the reader. Spike gets the brunt of it during training.

writing fanfics doesn’t feel so appropriate atm, but I wanted to take a break from signing petitions/writing letters (which I encourage you to do as well) and do something creative for a minute. Posting in case anyone else is in a similar situation

Training started up again the day after Buffy’s funeral.

It was important to keep moving, now more than ever. Spike didn’t think it was a good idea, but you shut him down every time he tried to bring it up. What you needed was not time or space or love. You needed to be prepared. You were not going to lose another sister. No one else was going to die. The universe had taken more than its due.

“Again,” you panted, and Spike lunged at you. He couldn’t go in with the intent to hurt you or his head would fill with white hot pain, so you were always uncomfortably aware of how much he was holding back, how easily he could take you if he wasn’t. Most times, he still beat you, although he always offered to fix you up after. All in all, he was a patient teacher, better than you deserved. But even he had his limits.

Spike tackled you to the ground, knocking the breath from your lungs, but you recovered quickly and aimed a punch at his face before he could pin down your arms.

Wheeling backwards, he stretched a hand out to his aching jaw, running it over the bruising skin. “Listen, sweetheart, I know my stamina is legendary, but we’ve got to give it a rest.”

“Again.”

This was all there was for you now. Practice and duty and anger. You wondered if this was how it had been for Buffy, near the end.

You woke up every morning with your skin a mottling greenish purple, darkening with time. Everywhere ached. You covered it up with makeup as best as you could for your shifts at the diner, but your coworkers were starting to notice.

No doubt they blamed it on the blond who sometimes came in to sit at the corner booth during your shifts.

Today hurt more than most. Spike had hurt your back the last time he slammed you against the alley wall, complaining that you fought like a rabid animal instead of a person when you tried to bite him to get away.

“Use anything that you have at your disposal.” You spat blood into the gravel. “That was your first rule. Come at me again.”

That was when he threw you across the alley.

It wasn’t the first time you had been tossed around in a fight. But for some reason, this time you couldn’t get up. You hit a pile of crates and struck your abdomen before rolling over onto your back.

You had practiced being thrown before, falling, all of it, but this was different. Today your anger had gotten the best of you. You had only been focusing on hurting him, not on protecting yourself. And now you couldn’t move.

Spike appeared above you, a bone-white face in a field of black night. You wheezed, trying to take in air that wouldn’t come.

“Fuck, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to throw you so hard. Can you sit up?”

“Something cracked,” you said, and Spike reached out for you, then yanked his hand back like he was afraid he’d hurt you more by touching you. Then he covered the side of your waist with either hand, trying to relocate the pressure that would come with hauling you up to his body instead of yours.

“Here, I’m going to help you up, we’re going to take you to the hospital. I’ll call the others. We’ll— What the hell are you— Stay down, woman!”

You put your hand flat on the crate nearest to you and hauled yourself to your feet. Then you put your fists up, your knuckles bloody from where the scabs had split.

“We—don’t—stop,” you puffed, each word more difficult to get out than the last. “A real fight doesn’t— stop— for anything.”

“This isn’t a real fight,” he reminded you. He reached out and you ducked under his arm, a lightning strike of pain shooting up your side where the bone had fractured. But you came out on the other side, planting your feet.

“It’s real. You’re a vampire.” You needed him to be as worked up as you were, so you pushed this button deliberately. “I’m the new Slayer.”

“You’re not—”

“I am.” You were taking shallow breaths now, trying to stay steady. “She’s gone and I’m here. Someone has to take over.”

“There’s already a new Slayer out there, you don’t have to—”

“I promised my mom I would take care of her. And if I couldn’t do that, then I’ll make damn sure I take care of Sunnydale. Now fight me.”

With one swift move, he had your wrists pinned behind your back, making your ribs groan.

Jesus Christ.

“You can handle it,” Spike said, reading your mind. “Don’t think I’m going easy on you. Not when you seem to like the pain so well.”

You weren’t strong enough to shake him off. Months of this, of trying to train your body to do better, and you still didn’t possess a fraction of what Buffy had.

“Why don’t you tell me what this is about, love?”

He bent his neck over your shoulder like he was playing the part of the loving boyfriend getting ready to place a kiss on your cheek, maybe hold you from behind like he was helping you to line up a shot in golf.

“I need to get better.”

“You’re killing yourself.”

“No.” You almost broke your wrists pulling out of his grip and he had to steady you before you fell back. He placed a hand on middle of your ribcage where the skin was beginning to swell, wincing. “I wouldn’t do that to Dawn. To any of them. I’m only trying to make it right. Willow will look me over when we’re done.”

Spike shook his head. “I know this is how you deal with grief from your mum, but this is ridiculous.”

“This is nothing like that.”

“No?”

You picked your jacket up off the ground, shaking it out. You got hot during training, but you were freezing now.

“No.”

He followed you out of the alley doggedly, his thunderous footsteps right behind your own. Across the street, down the sidewalk, and into your car. He climbed in before you could lock the doors. Sitting down made the pain in your ribs flare, but you filed that away under Things to Deal with Later.

“Tell me.”

“It’s just different.” He continued to watch you steadily. Stealthily. Hungrily. You reached to start the car, but he stilled your hand. You slapped his away.

“Why do you care? Do you really have so few other friends that you have to follow me around like a lost puppy? Get out, Spike.”

“You know why.”

You did. He told you before, before Buffy took the high dive, but you had ignored him. Even when he offered to kill Drusilla for you, even when he almost got himself killed by Glory to save Dawn. You believed he felt something. Lust, a proximity to danger. Something to make his immortal life more interesting. But as you had told him before, that wasn’t the same as love.

“Get out.”

“I care about you,” he said through clenched teeth. “For the last year, I’ve only tried to do right by you. You say that you don’t want to play the part of the broken girl, but here you are. I should nominate you for a bloody Oscar.”

“Just because I don’t want to fuck you doesn’t mean that—”

Spike almost broke off the handle as he slammed open the car door, his jaw tight.

“Don’t come crying to me when no one else is willing to stomach your bullshit.”

You stewed in the car for all of two minutes, smacking the horn and screaming at the top of your lungs, before you calmed down enough to think things over.

You were miserable.

Mostly because of Buffy’s death, but also because you were tired of trying to fill her shoes. You couldn’t come up with that many puns in combat or put slaying ahead of everything else. You couldn’t lock down your feelings in order to get the job done. You couldn’t even be honest with the people you loved about how you felt.

You fully considered letting Spike walk out of your life and never come back. You probably would have, too. If he hadn’t been right. If he hadn’t found a way to get you the money you needed after your mother’s death. If he hadn’t volunteered to watch Dawn, to do extra research, even to make dinner one night when you were feeling especially out of it. He almost burned the house down, but he had tried.

You had lashed out at him more times than you could count, and he always took it with a steadiness that kept you grounded when it counted. And now, when he finally bit back, it was because you had suggested that all he wanted from you was sex.

You rolled out of your seat, locked up the car, and tucked the keys in your pocket, swiveling blindly. Where had he gone? Back to the crypt? To the alley? You saw a flicker of black disappear around the corner and followed.

You caught a glimpse of Spike ducking into a decrepit all-night bar. Tugged your jacket tighter around yourself. Prayed that no one would recognize you. Stepped inside.

It was the seedy kind of monster venue that only he could like. Demons leered at you from behind tables marked with blood and vampires ordered drinks at the scuffed bar top. Spike was ordering a Bloody Mary when you sat down next to him. The stool creaked beneath your weight, but he didn’t so much as look at you. The bartender glared at you disapprovingly but let you be. To soften him up, you ordered your own drink, although you didn’t know if you’d be able to take a single sip. The place didn’t look very sanitary.

“I know when I’m wrong,” you said to the glasses behind the bar. “I’m not trying to put up walls. But I don’t want anyone taking care of me. I don’t like to be treated like I’m fragile.”

That wasn’t true. You remembered that one night after your shift when all you had wanted was to be babied. To have someone else take the load for you. But that was before and this was now.

Spike stayed silent. You cleared your throat. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to dangle anything in front of you. When I suggested we train together, I wasn’t leading you on. Or I didn’t mean to be leading you on. It’s just different being around you than the others.”

You could practically hear crickets chirp in here. The bartender dropped off your drinks and Spike took a long sip. Like you didn’t even exist.

“I didn’t want to ruin what we have.”

You were conscious of sounding like every annoying movie protagonist ever.

“Not that we have anything, only—we’re friends, aren’t we? I don’t want the only reason for you hanging out with me to be that you’re waiting for the day you can get in my pants. So I ignore it, like it’ll make it go away,” you babbled. Demons were giving you disgusted glances now, but you rushed on. “And I meant what I said, about how this isn’t like when my mom died. I always knew that any one of us could meet something we couldn’t come back from. I had a plan then. I saved and I learned how to do taxes and I made sure Dawn got to school. But now when the money’s almost run out and we’ve been through two funerals, I can’t—I can’t do this. Any of it. And if you’re only in this for the chase and I give in, that means I have one less person on my side, and I used to have friends, people I trusted, but then life started revolving around Buffy like she was the sun and now— Now she’s gone. And I don’t want anyone to love me ever again, I only want to know that I can take care of myself in the absence of love. I only want to know that I can take care of who’s left.”

He still wasn’t looking at you. And whose fault was that? You had burned your last bridge to the one person left in your life who had known you and cared about you more than Buffy. Who was more concerned with your life than her death. Wasn’t that awful of you? To have ever wanted that?

“I’m sorry,” you said again. You left the money for your drink and stood up. “I thought you should know.”

God, your ribs fucking hurt. You applied pressure to the swelling like you were holding in your internal organs as you dragged your feet to the front door. Then you heard one of the barstools squeal as Spike spun in a full rotation, casual as the devil.

He finished his drink and stood, meeting your eyes for the first time and prying the keys from your hand.

“Come on then. I’ll drive you home.”

#btvs x reader #btvs season 5 #fanfiction #spike x reader #buffy the series #angst

[vanessakirbyfans]

Ignore the cringeworthy title, which brings to mind several lives’ worth of Lifetime movies — Pieces of a Woman, a portrait of personal disintegration and the from-the-ashes process of piecing things back together, gives you three distinct reasons to pay attention to this late-breaking entry in the seasonal Pretty People in Pain sweepstakes. (It hit theaters on December 30th for a qualifying run; it starts streaming on Netflix on January 7th.) The first is The Shot, a set piece that kickstarts the drama in motion. We’ve already briefly met Martha (Vanessa Kirby), an expectant mother days away from her due date. And we’ve been introduced to her partner Sean (Shia LaBeouf), a construction worker who’s building a bridge in Boston. She is warm, witty, nurturing; he is rough-hewn, earthy and, per his own description, boorish (“now there’s a Scrabble word,” he adds). Martha’s middle-class family, especially her brittle and controlling mother (Ellen Burstyn), doesn’t much care for this blue-collar dude, but the couple love each other. They’re ready to eagerly embrace parenthood.

So when Martha’s water breaks, Sean distracts her with dumb jokes — already with the dad humor! — and places a call to their midwife. The woman they’ve prepped with, who the two have trusted to guide them through a home birth, is unavailable. A substitute named Eva (Molly Parker) will be assisting them in her stead. She shows up, helps with what turns out to be a somewhat fraught delivery … and then things suddenly, inexplicably take a turn for the worse.

The fact that the Hungarian filmmaker Kornél Mundruczó presents this entire sequence of events in what’s designed to resemble a continuous 24-minute shot sounds, on paper, like just another virtuoso move designed to induce a “how’d they do that?” shock and awe more characteristic of magic shows. Yet the director, making his English-language debut, isn’t indulging in hollow, look-ma-no-cuts showing off for its own sake; by letting viewers experience these wrong turns in real time, he’s both establishing your bond with these characters and letting his actors dictate the scene’s free fall from joy to tragedy. Cowritten by his longtime collaborator Kata Wéber, Pieces draws from her play of the same name (along with a very personal experience), and you can see the theatrical origins in this extended set-up. But that aspect works in the movie’s favor here. It’s not the fluid, snaking and craning camera that draws you in but Kirby’s animalistic grunts and cries, LaBeouf’s manic running around and tender encouragement, Parker’s authoritative earth-mother commandeering that slowly turn hesitant as the situation spirals out of everyone’s control. The “single” take is not the showcase itself so much as the stage for it.

Mundruczó’s breakthrough film, the 2014 Cannes prizewinner/canine-payback parable White God, proved he could meld feeling onto feats of incredible technical prowess — just try to direct an actual pack of 30 dogs to behave like an organized, vengeful army. Displaying your chops while also giving your performers room to do their best work, especially in a story that threatens to tiptoe into maudlin territory at any moment, is far more impressive then how much you can whip a Panaflex around. Not to mention that he’s marshaling a truly odd and unique cast: Name another drama that features LaBeouf, Burstyn, one of the Safdie brothers, Succession‘s Sarah Snook and stand-up comic Iliza Schlesinger in the same scene, much less the same movie. It’s a delicate balance, and this is where the second and third stand-out aspects enter the picture.

Everyone deals with the tragedy in their own way, from chilly disassociation to bad-habit relapses to furtive stabs at fucking the grief away. (To say that a sequence involving LaBeouf aggressively pursuing sex with Kirby before angrily storming away plays … incredibly uncomfortably in light of recent news is to put it mildly. There’s a fury in his work here that makes you feels like a voyeur, and not in a good way.) Martha’s mother chooses to pursue her catharsis by holding Eva accountable via legal means. Cue: The Monologue.

The matriarch has gathered the family together for dinner, in the hopes of, among other things, convincing Martha to go forward with a lawsuit. There is resistance. So Mom recounts the story of how sheer luck saved her as a baby, at which point Burstyn hand-delivers an elderly woman reopening a decades-old wound. There is so much kindness and sorrow, survivalist grit and a pleading sense of grace in the reading; Burstyn herself has said that she improvised part of the speech as the cameras were rolling. No one needs convincing that she’s a national treasure, yet to observe the veteran Oscar-winner elevating what could’ve been a clichéd exercise in pushing emotional pressure points is to observe the power of acting. It’s a showstopping turn in miniature, from someone with a career already bursting with them.

Pieces of a Woman largely belongs to the woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown at its center, however, and it’s Vanessa Kirby who gifts the film with The Performance. London theatergoers were lucky enough to catch the 32-year-old on stage, doing Shakespeare and Chekhov; the rest of us have been content to watch her flex as a clutch supporting player (The Crown) and action-movie femme fatale/hero (Mission: Impossible — Fallout, Hobbs & Shaw). But her profoundly traumatized Martha is something unique, a fully formed and in-focus picture of someone falling apart. She is a walking, talking, dead-eyed raw nerve, and after being partially responsible for the most realistic screen labors in recent memory, Kirby plays the bulk of her scenes in the key of shellshocked. It’s less a performance of repression than recession, as Martha keeps drawing back into herself or numbly shuffling through her interactions and routines. When she does occasionally lash out, it’s like the flailing gestures of a drowning person.

This is an extraordinary example of how to craft an empathetic take on psychic agony bit by bit, piece by piece, and without pandering for easy points. And it’s the sort of achievement that doubles as a coronation of Kirby as a first-rate actor, that next-gen star willing to crack herself open for a role. She’s a much-needed anchor here as well, notably when Weber’s script and Mundruczó’s conceptual choices veer off into shaky territory. There’s surely a way to express the ginger process of healing other than the heavy-handed visual metaphor of a bridge that, as we see the dates go by, slowly comes together as a solid structure; should you think you’re imagining some of those Biblical signifiers that pop up, an ambiguous Garden-of-Eden coda lets you know you’re not losing your mind. Not even Kirby can keep a late-act courtroom address from collapsing under its own weight.

But riding shotgun with her maternal phoenix makes up for a lot, and out of the trio of reasons to seek this work out, it’s the experience of shuffling miles in Martha’s blood-flecked boots that compels you to stay with it. So many movies deal with grief, anguish and personal reformation as little more than a chance for performative grandstanding. Pieces of a Woman has some of those moments, too. What’s fueling it, however, is a very real sense of what’s happens underneath all of the things we associate with melodrama — the tiny implosions beneath the surfaces. You merely see the impact instead of the demolition itself, but you see the damage done nonetheless. And when it’s all over, you see the hard work of someone succeeding in, hopefully, becoming whole again.

#Vanessa Kirby #Pieces of a Woman #Articles #Review

[tomakeitbeautifultolive]

What bothers me is the saying that when a Targaryen is born, god flips a coin on whether they’re good or mad. So how many known mad Targaryens are there? Is it truly 50/50 or is it heavily inflated?

Short answer: Very heavily inflated.

Long answer: There are a few things to clear up before I start compiling the list. ‘Madness’ is classified as 'the state of being mentally ill’: 

So, those who make my 'mad’ list are going to fit this definition, whereas Targaryens who, say, took lives due to participation in medieval wars or battles, will not fall into the 'mad’ category.

So what’s the quote, exactly?

“King Jaehaerys once told me that madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. Every time a new Targaryen is born, he said, the gods toss the coin in the air and the world holds its breath to see how it will land.”

Now, let’s bust that ‘Targaryen Madness’ myth!

Depending on the type of coin used, the probability of a coin flip differs. It’s either 50/50, 51/49, and in some more extreme estimations, as high as 55/45. Which, according to the above quote, means Targaryen madness has a roughly 45-55% chance of occurring.

Even in the Wiki of Ice and Fire, Targaryen Madness has its own entry, stating that:

“It must be observed that of the Targaryen kings who ruled Westeros for almost 300 years, only Aerys could be considered truly mad.”

List of 'Mad’ Targaryens (6):

Maegor I 'the Cruel’ Targaryen

Baelor I 'the Blessed’ Targaryen (this one is debatable)

Prince Rhaegel Targaryen

Aerion 'the Monstrous’ 'Brightflame’ Targaryen

Aerys II 'the Mad King’ Targaryen

Viserys 'the Beggar King’ Targaryen (this one is debatable)

(To better understand why these Targaryens are classified as mad, visit the Villains Wiki for a nice description for each character)

Possible ’Mad’ Targaryens (4):

Helaena Targaryen (became depressed and descended into madness, committed suicide)

Aelora Targaryen (driven mad with grief after losing her husband, committed suicide)

Daenerys 'Stormborn’ Targaryen (no madness in books, yet show made her 'go mad’ from grief and ‘bells’, apparently)

Maelys I 'the Monstrous’ Blackfyre (not actually a Targaryen. Ruthless and cruel, not necessarily mad, did possess a physical deformity)

List of non-Mad Targaryens (80):

Aenar Targaryen

Gaemon 'the Glorious’ Targaryen

Daenys 'the Dreamer’ Targaryen

Aegon Targaryen

Elaena Targaryen

Maegon Targaryen

Aerys Targaryen

Aelyx Targaryen

Baelon Targaryen

Daemion Targaryen

Aerion Targaryen

Visenya Targaryen

Aegon I Targaryen

Rhaenys Targaryen

Aenys I Targaryen

Rhaena Targaryen

Aegon 'the Uncrowned’ Targaryen

Viserys Targaryen 

Jaehaerys I 'the Wise’ Targaryen

'Good Queen’ Alysanne Targaryen

Rhaella Targaryen

Aerea Targaryen

Daenerys Targaryen

Vaegon 'the Dragonless’ Targaryen

Maegelle Targaryen

Viserra Targaryen

Saera Targaryen

Gael Targaryen

Aemon Targaryen

Daella Targaryen* (maybe had anxiety?)

Baelon 'the Brave’ Targaryen

Alyssa Targaryen

Rhaenys 'the Queen Who Never Was’ Targaryen

Viserys I Targaryen

Daemon 'the Rogue Prince’ Targaryen* (maybe suffered narcissism?)

Baela Targaryen

Rhaena Targaryen 'of Pentos’

Viserys II Targaryen

Aegon III 'the Younger’ Targaryen* (Had a temper, I guess?)

Jaehaera Targaryen (committed suicide, maybe? probably murdered)

Jaehaerys Targaryen (born with six fingers and toes?)

Aegon II 'the Elder’ Targaryen (Was cruel?)

Aemond 'One-Eye’ Targaryen (Was a shitty person, I guess?)

Daeron 'the Daring’ Targaryen

Elaena Targaryen

Septa Rhaena Targaryen

Daeron I 'the Young Dragon’ Targaryen

Daena 'the Defiant’ Targaryen

Aegon IV 'the Unworthy’ Targaryen (Was a shitty person, I guess?)

Naerys Targaryen

Aemon 'the Dragonknight’ Targaryen

Daemon I Blackfyre

Daeron II ’ the Good’ Targaryen

Daenerys Targaryen of Dorne

Maekar I Targaryen (Had a temper I guess?)

Aerys I Targaryen

Baelor 'Breakspear’ Targaryen

Matarys Targaryen

Valarr 'the Young Prince’ Targaryen

Brynden 'Lord Bloodraven’ Rivers (Was kind of a shitty person, I guess?)

Shiera Seastar (Was rumored to be a murdery sorceress?)

Aegor 'Bittersteel’ Rivers (Had a temper, I guess?)

Rhae Targaryen

Aegon V 'the Unlikely’ Targaryen

Daella Targaryen

Maester Aemon Targaryen

Daenora Targaryen

Aelor Targaryen

Maegor Targaryen (fears that he would inherit his father’s madness, I guess?)

Daeron 'the Drunken’ Targaryen

Vaella Targaryen (simple-minded or low IQ, I guess?)

Prince Duncan 'the Small’ Targaryen

Jaehaerys II Targaryen

Shaera Targaryen

Rhaelle Targaryen

Daeron Targaryen

Queen Rhaella Targaryen

Rhaegar 'the Silver Prince’ Targaryen

Rhaenys Targaryen

Aegon Targaryen (👶?) (or… may be Young Griff?)

Non-'Mad’ Offspring from Targaryen Mothers (11):

Laena Velaryon (gave birth to a deformed son, I guess?)

Jacaerys Velaryon

Lucerys Velaryon

Joffrey Velaryon

Joy Penrose

Jon Waters

Jeyne Waters

Viserys Plumm

Robin Penrose

Laena Penrose

Jocelyn Penrose

Targaryens who died as babies (11):

Vaella Targaryen 👶

Aegon Targaryen 👶

Gaemon Targaryen 👶

Valerion Targaryen 👶

Aegon Targaryen 👶

Maelor Targaryen 👶

Baelon Targaryen 👶

Jaehaerys Targaryen 👶

Aegon Targaryen 👶

Daeron Targaryen 👶

Shaena Targaryen 👶

Targaryen babies born with physical deformities (2):

Visenya Targaryen 👶 (twisted and malformed)

Rhaego 👶 (born deformed… likely the result of magic)

Equations and Conclusion:

If we want to get VERY generous and say that EVERY Targaryen baby who died young would end up mad, we’d be at 23 Targaryens out of 114 known Targaryens, or a madness rate of about 16%. That’s nowhere near the 45% chance of a coin toss.

Still being a generous, we’ll lump together all the mad Targaryens, possibly mad Targaryens, all the non-mad ones with footnotes, and the deformed babies - we get 27 total, which would be about 24% - but this is including people who just have bad attitudes, anxiety, rumors spread about them, or FEARS of madness… is that fair? No, it’s not. Then literally every character in Westeros or Essos would be classified as mad.

If we aim to be a little fairer, including only the known 'mad’ Targaryens, the four debatably 'mad’ Targaryens, and the two babies who were born deformed but died young… then we’d be at a whopping 12 cases of madness out of 114 Targaryens, or about 9%.

However, provable cases of genetic madness? Fuck, I’ll even throw in Daenerys! That brings us up to SEVEN cases of madness out of 114 Targaryens.

…SEVEN ‘MAD’ TARGARYENS.

OUT OF ONE-HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN.

Which means that about *SIX PERCENT* of Targaryens have shown any actual 'madness’ in the hundreds of years they’ve inhabited Westeros.

#answered #house targaryen #daenerys defense squad #daenerys targaryen #targaryen madness #mad targaryens #madness myth #MADNESS ISN'T EVEN A REAL THING!

[revasnaslan]

You mentioned the header is an au, would maybe please tell us about it? 🥺

*kicks down the door with 100k of notes, drafts, and polished fic* SO YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT WHERE ONE FELL VERSE

you’re in for a real treat, i love talking about my baby :3ccc

i thought of this verse during the hiatus between S4 and S5, i believe? i think i started drafting in december 2019 and posting in january 2020. the basic premise of it is based around the question of “what if hordak and prime were blood brothers, and hordak was the most precious thing in the universe to prime?” and then taking that to it’s logical extreme.

while i still need to find the energy to finished editing the last two chapters of it, i have actually posted one fic for this verse, which you can read HERE if you’re interested in a fic for it! i’m also currently 50k into the draft for a sequel. the name of the verse comes from the title of that fic and is a reference to how prime views the clones in the text, e.g., “where one fell, ten more stood to take his place”. because yes! the clones still exist in this verse, but unlike in canon, prime (who will be referred to as anillis from this point forward) is not their progenitor.

his precious widdle baby brother hec-tor is.

so, a little bit of backstory! hec-tor was born when anillis had just reached the age of majority (~18-19 by out standards), due to their parents suffering a long bought of fertility issues. their father, the previous horde prime before anillis, died giving birth to hec-tor, while their other parent had died mere months prior while on campaign. and just after losing both of his parents in quick succession like that, anillis was told that he shouldn’t get attached to his brother, because hec-tor would be lucky if he survived infancy, being as small and sickly as he was.

this is the part where i kind of drag anillis a little bit, but he has the worst coping mechanisms for his grief and paranoia. after learning that hec-tor was born with a foot in the grave, he immediately decides that he refuses to give his baby brother up. he starts trying to find any way to make his brother whole again. i probably shouldn’t have to explain exactly what he decided to do in the end, but the clones exist because they were originally part of a medical experiment. anillis was using them to try and find some kind of cure for his brother’s illness.

that being said, he’s also ridiculously paranoid and sees enemies in every corner, so when he noticed that there were some clones that seemed to be perfectly healthy (either because of mutation or sheer dumb luck), he began using those healthy clones as servants (the ‘attendants’) and childcare (the ‘minders’). as time went on this also extended to basically every single facet of life on his flagship, as well as the army. after all, there’s no chance of someone harming him and his precious baby brother if he has complete control over them, right?

my header image was actually inspired by a passage from the fic i linked above. i believe my friend drew it in response to a description i wrote of the first time anillis ever held his brother, when he decided he’d be willing to do anything to keep him safe. it’s just anything means things like cloning him before he was even six months old, locking him away in a gilded cage, giving him basically zero independence.....................

#rev's rambling again #where one fell tag #looooooove this verse #thank you so much for asking and allowing me the chance to ramble #i worry sometimes that my friends are sick of hearing the same things over and over again about it XD #morsobaby

[ladyamela]

Hold! Who goes there? Why, is that Améla Ashcraft the Lady of the House of  Ashcraft of Each Reach? They do look poised for a woman of 27 years. Don’t they call her the confident and curious broken bird? I’ve heard they’re also cautious and humble though, don’t take my word for it but they do look an awful lot like Lily Collins.

TW: Death and depression

Basic Info:

NAME:  Améla Sérafin Ashcraft

PRONUNCIATION:  ə-MEE-lee-ə,  seh-RA-fyeen

TITLE (IF THEY HAVE ONE, OCCUPATION IF NOT): Lady Ashcraft of Each Reach, Lady in Waiting for Princess Josefin Stoneward

AGE: 27

PLACE OF ORIGIN: Each Reach

FAMILY MEMBERS: Cousin Alek Ashcraft, Duke of Each Reach, Betrothed to the Duke of Seaworth

Physical Description:

HEIGHT: 5′5

HAIIR COLOR: Brown

EYE COLOR: Hazel

GENDER: Female

BUILD:  Slim & Athletic

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES? (SCARS, TATTOOS, PIERCINGS): There are a couple of scars around her hairline from when her parents were killed. Has a good number of scars on her body from her time in the military. At this time, only her ears are pierced.

ANY HEALTH RELATED ISSUES?: Depression (not that it’s diagnosed)

Personality:

Améla is the only name the young Ashcraft will acknowledge. Though, over the years, a few people who have been lucky enough to get close to her can get away with calling her Amé or Ams. Those are the people that know what a straightforward and determined young woman she is. While she’s mischievous at heart events in her past has taught her that impishness does not always end well.

To the world, Améla is seen as sweet, kind, innocent in so many ways, and carefree even. The perfect persona for someone who finds it better to hide who she is than anyone close enough to hurt her. The loss of so much in her young life, Améla has come not to trust so easily. She would preferably push people away, then allow them to get close and then lose them. She has established that this disposition can help her out in many ways, while other times, it has lead to more hardship than need be. Trust is not something she gives out freely. It is hard-earned by the person who earns it but easy to lose by anyone she does come to trust.

The real Améla is confident, curious, protective, but cautious and humble all at the same time. She loves with all her heart, not that there are a lot of people left alive that she loves. The count is at four at this point, or at least that's what she'll admit if asked. She knows it all can be taken from her in seconds and is not willing to open herself up to that pain unless it's worth it.

Outside of her primary group of friends, she's not much of a talker. She finds that the overuse of words tends to keep one from seeing the real person. She prefers to observe those around her, watch and listen to what a person says with their body language. Due to this, she discreet with who and when she opens up another about her thoughts. When it comes to inner turmoil, her tendency is to deal with them on her own unless pushed into talking by family. Over time, she has learned to keep her emotions in check. Thanks to the teachings from her cousin Alek, Améla has learned to close her mind off when need be. For you never know when a mind reader could be near.

Additional Info:

Betrothal: At the age of 20, her uncle started brokering a match with the Duke of Seaworth for her hand in marriage. For five years the two families have negotiated the alliance while Améla and the Duke took part in coordinated meetings. Shortly after her 25th birthday the Duke proposed to her and a yes reply has left them planning their nuptials for the last two years. The wedding had been set to take place the coming spring; however, with the attacks a delay may be in order.

Fellow Ladies-in-waiting: While it had never been an official title when she had been younger, Améla has always been by Josefin Stoneward's side either as a friend or confidant. As they got older more ladies joined their group in helping Josefin in her day to day life at court. Some may have become friends with Améla, some she questions their motives, and others she does everything to keep a close on eye on.

The Rebel: No one knows what Améla remembers from the night of her parents deaths, not even Améla. This has some rebels a bit worried about what she can tell or whom she might identify in the attack. Needing to know if Améla could be a threat to their plans they've sent in a mole to get close in case her memories of that night come back to her.

History:

Améla Sérafin Ashcraft would be the first and only child to the Duck of Ashcraft's younger brother. For years they longed for a child of their own; however, each time they thought their prayers answered, tragedy would strike once more. It would take almost seven years after they were married and many tragedies before their baby girl, at last, was held within their arms. They loved her from the moment they laid eyes on her tiny face. For three years, they doted on their little girl. Gave her everything she ever possibly need. They held so many dreams for her, but they would not live to see those dreams come true.

They were on their way back from a visit to the Glasswater Keep.  Améla being the same age as two of the King's daughters, she found herself chosen to become a companion/friend to the princesses. The first visit had seemed to go well, and more planned for the future. However, just hours after leaving Glasswater Keep the Ashcraft found themselves attacked by rebels. No only survivor would be three years old, Améla. From that day forward, her care would fall to her uncle, the Duke of Ashcraft. She showed up at his doorstep, a curious but shy little girl that did not fully understand her new position in life.

The loss of her parents afflicted her in ways that she is still dealing with to this day. She went from living a quiet life with her two loving parents to standing in the middle of a castle with no idea where she truly belonged. Améla pulled into herself over the weeks to come, and while hired a governess to take care of her, the child's aunt could see that what she needed was a mother. From the moment on her Aunt Emily would take time each day to spend with Améla. Slowly over time, the shy child started to open up and accept her new life. Six months after the loss of her parents, Améla finally felt safe and comfortable enough to show that she was magi to others. Like her aunt, she held the power of elemental magic, but her elemental gift would be Geokinesis.

The first person to see her use magic would be her cousin, Alek. While her aunt stepped in to become the mother Améla needed and longed for, Alek would be the one who showed Améla she was safe. He stepped into the role of a big brother as if he had always meant to be one. On the day Améla showed her gift, she had been the garden playing, having wandered off from her governess when Alek found her. Wanting to show him what she could do, Améla held her hand up, and while she wiggled her fingers just a little, two stones moved upward from the spot they were resting, drifting over to Améla and came to rest in front of her. The little girl did not know if wiggling her fingers was required to make the stones move; it was just fun to do.

Things changed once more for the young girl; only this time, the change allowed normalcy to come into her life. Once Améla's aunt found out about her magic, Aunt Emily knew the best course of action. Not wanting to see Améla's talents go to waste, she encouraged the girl to explore her abilities. Just months passed her fourth birthday, Améla visited the Magaesterium for the first time. Thanks to her natural talent, her love and willingness to learn lead to her acceptance right away.

For almost nine years, Améla lived what could be called normal life. Between her time at the Magaesterium, where she flourished in her studies, and Glasswater Keep, where she quickly bonded with Josefin and Adaline. Their bond became so strong, that over time; Améla started to be referred to as the twins' triplet. You never saw Améla without the twins or the twins without Améla. Améla loved being with the twins; they were the sisters she never got to have. Sisters, she would do anything for, anything to protect. That need to protect them became even stronger after the incident of her making almost killed Josefin.

As always, Améla let Adaline talk her into using her magic for fun. This time Améla connected to the earth so that she could raise the twins into the air before letting them drop back down just far enough to make it fun and then raising the dirt back up to catch them. They had been at it for hours when out of nowhere, Améla heard shouting from a distance that distracted her just enough to lose focus right when Améla should have brought the ground up to catch Josefin. With nothing there to grab Josefin at the right moment to keep her unharmed, she fell further than she should have. If Améla had not regained her focus when she did, she held no doubt that Josefin would have died upon impact with the ground.

After the incident, Améla would not see either twin for almost a year. She would leave Glasswater Keep within hours of the accident, sent to the Magaesterium for extensive training in the proper use of magic. It had been during her time away that Améla's Aunt Emily became sick. The young Ashcraft hoped, prayed for the best outcome; however, that was not to be and just shy of Améla's 14 birthday she lost her beloved aunt. Once more, her world shattered, and everything she knew changed. Only months after her aunt's passing, her uncle would remarry, leaving Améla to accept or not accept as the case was a new aunt. The woman, Ainsley Amaranthe, not even double Améla's age, could barely pass as an adult soon earned the nickname step-aunt. Unable to handle the changes at East Reach, Lady Ashcraft started spending more time at Glasswater with Princess Josefin and Princess Adaline.

Améla did her best not to let grief take hold by focusing on what she still had, Alek and her sisters. Soon enough, her adolescence came to an end, and at the age of 18, Améla joined Josefin in the military forces to train alongside their foot soldiers. It soon became apparent that Améla thrived in the environment created by the military. It did not take long before they asked Améla to use her magic to help track the rebels and weed them out. It had been one of these tracking expeditions were she found herself lead into a trap. The commander had been an undercover rebel that wanted to take Améla out. It took all she had to fight them off; however, using the amount of magic that she did, the Lady passed out once the last rebel fell.

She would wake hours later surrounded by royal military and the news that Josefin was missing. By the time she returned to the camp, they were bringing Josefin in on a stretcher. They whisked the princess away to a small tent without any word as to what happened to Josefin. Améla paced outside the tent for hours before they finally allowed her inside. While she longed to find out what happened as soon as she entered the tent, it would not be until years later that the princess opened up to Améla about what truly happened during her scouting mission. Even before finding out the truth, Améla hated for the rebels increased after Josefin's attack. She wanted them to stop them in any way possible, and she would see it done.

When their time in the military came to an end, Améla continued to stay by Josefin's side. Her new title, lady-in-waiting would be one the Ashcraft took quite seriously. While most saw her as nothing more than an attendant to the Princess, Améla saw herself as her protector. There was no way she would ever allow anyone to hurt Josefin again. However, her time with Josefin is quickly coming to an end.  At the age of 20, her uncle started negotiating for her hand in marriage with the Duke of Seaworth. For five years, the two families negotiated the alliance while Améla and the Duke took part in coordinated meetings. Shortly after her 25th birthday, the Duke proposed to her, and a yes reply being the only one Améla could give has left them planning their wedding for the last two years. They arranged for the ceremony to take place in the coming spring; however, with the rebel attacks, a delay may be in order, or the possibility of it moving up is also in talks.

#kc.intro #yeah yeah I know this took me forever #lol

[maximumkillshot]

"I Can't Lose You" Part 4

Warnings: Not as bad as the last 2 but here we go! , Aftermath of a miscarriage, some fluff, descriptions of grief due to losing a baby, Crying Lixie, Hannie, and Binnie. Shock, Grief, slight panic, fear of abandonment.

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Characters: OC Doctor Number 2, Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: Okay so this one is different from the other three, we are in a sort of lull in the angst with this one. It's time to be in Bin's head for a bit. Let's just say... this is a "building" chapter. It's time for some fluff as well... IF YOU WANT MORE TELL ME!

Also remember, this is a fan fic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.

Stray Kids! Masterlist

Overall Masterlist

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

PREVIOUSLY:

“And you? How’re you doing?” Bin asked. He knows Han has anxiety, seeing all of this and being as strong as he’s been is not easy. 

“I’m… Out of all people, Bin.” Han shook his head. Han has known Chan the longest and he would’ve never expected him to do this. 

“I know”

“Please tell me you didn’t hit him.” Han said.

“Nah… She needs me more than I need to beat him to a pulp… I don’t think he’ll be bothering her anymore though.” That’s at least what Bin hopes. Everything is so raw. A little less than 6 hours before this you were at a restaurant to celebrate your 3rd anniversary. Now everything was all wrong, a nightmare incarnate and no one can wake up from reality. 

“Hyung… She can’t go back to that house.” Han said as he took a deep breath.

“I know. All I know is that we'll do what she’s comfortable with.”

“Agreed…Bin?” Han asked.

“Yeah?”

“It should’ve been you with her from the beginning.” Han looked to Bin, a look of understanding and empathy for Bin. Han could always see the way Bin looked at you when no one else was looking. Everything you said would be committed to his memory, even the smallest things like which brand of sesame oil you like best for your bulgogi marinade. 

“I know. That doesn’t mean that I can’t be here for her from now on.”

Han just smiled and both of them went back into the room. 

NOW:

 Bin POV:

That night was terrible. Every 20 or so minutes, Y/N would twist and turn in pain as the contractions continued to decimate her. After about 5 agonizing hours, they started to subside, now a much duller version of what they once were, at least that’s what she tells me.  Felix and Hannie were so strong through it all and helped in any way they could. Feeding her ice chips, holding her hand, even something as simple as massaging her legs helped a great deal. There were no questions, no arguments, and most of all no mention of Chris.

There were some points where she needed all of us. Hannie and I held one hand each, and Felix rubbed her back. When she finally went to bed, well more like collapsed from exhaustion, the sun was out and the clock read 7:00 a.m.

As soon as we were sure she was out cold, that was when we had permission to collapse. First was Felix. I noticed his eyes getting red as he looked at Hannie, and then back to me. "This isn't fair," he petted her leg and tucked her in, trying to comfort her, even though she was completely dead to the world. "She didn't deserve this… they didn't deserve this…" At this point, tears are falling on the blanket freely. All I could do was walk over to him and hug him. I moved us back a little and closed the privacy curtain so that if she did wake up, she couldn't see Lix like this. Felix did his best to cry silently.

He was trying so hard to mute himself as he whispered into my shoulder, "I didn't get to hold the baby, Hyung… we didn't get to spoil the baby, change the baby… look into their eyes, hear them giggle." 

I know that feeling. I also wondered what the baby was going to look like. I would’ve bet the baby would’ve had her eyes. What if her quirks were another thing the baby would’ve inherited? Would they giggle at situational humor? Or maybe they would've had her sarcasm? That smile that’d light up a room? That used to light up a room. 

 I heard Han losing it behind me as well at what Felix was saying.

"S'not fair Hyung… deserved better…both of them did," Felix was doing everything to stay silent, even covering his mouth, trying to smother the sobs before they left his mouth. 

"I know… I know" was all I could say. She deserved so much more. She deserved so much more than to be cheated on. She deserved more than to lose her child. She deserves to be pampered, kept safe, loved. The fact that life is this cruel, regardless of the person, that also hit me hard. All she ever wants to do is help. That’s it. So why is she getting punished like this? Why does she have to pay for the sins of her husband? What sense does that make? It doesn’t.

Han’s footsteps caught my attention. As he walked to us I could see in his eyes he was losing it too. His eyes brimming with tears. I could tell, he felt like I did.  Helpless. Scared. Broken. He looked at Y/N as he walked towards us. Hannie seems like the type that would cry easily. He’s not. He really only cries when he’s angry, hurt, or frustrated. Otherwise he doesn’t cry in front of people. That’s why he doesn’t watch animated movies with me for the most part. He doesn’t want to cry in front of people. So seeing him like this…

I just opened my arms to him and he walked into them, huddling with Lix, his voice breaking, "There was so much blood, I can't…. She almost died because he was stupid and childish… a fucking coward… we almost lost her… our girl… Bin…" Hannie gripped into my hoodie, trying to ground himself. We always call Y/N our girl. Chris was always working, always distracted, always this or that. It’d take a toll on her. I would tell Chris to stop, to go home, spend time with her. I told him the tracks can wait, that she deserved to have him present for at least an hour or two. He’d always say that he could do ‘better things’ with his time. You’d think that he’d see his own wife as a person that he loves instead of a waste of time, that should’ve been the first red flag right there. 

Eventually, Han and I just started leaving his ass at the studio, picking up some food and making a “friend date night” with Y/N. We’d pile up in Han’s room, we’d watch anime, horror movies, or sometimes, just be around her. The first time we did that was a year into the marriage, when we did, she started to tear up. When we asked why she said that she hadn’t seen Chris. Always asleep before he got home and always awake long after he left. Even thinking about it now gives me chills, how could he leave a gem like Y/N at home? Knowing she’s waiting for him. Seeing her face that night squeezed my heart. I could tell that day that Han felt the same way. 

After that we always made sure to be home early every Friday and Saturday, and to clear the schedules for the most part on Sundays; Friday was movie night, Saturday was game or anime night, and Sunday was cooking date night, where we picked a recipe and made it together. Eventually Felix and Minho got in on it too, because what’s dinner without dessert and Minho said he wanted to make sure we were doing it correctly. Han and I knew the truth. We love spending time with her. It is that simple.

I felt Han and Lix’s tears soaking through my hoodie. I have never felt this helpless in my life. Y/N almost died in my arms, her baby is gone, Lix is mourning and sobbing on me, now Han is finally releasing some of what he’s feeling. All of these things I can’t control. I can’t help with any of it. The only thing that I can really do is be there for them. Even though, in my eyes, that isn’t a lot. 

"I know we almost lost her… but she's here, you see? She's right here." I had them peek through the curtain to see her sleeping form and they both looked at her. "You know what else? A doctor told me that a pregnant woman carries some fetal cells & DNA even after they give birth." I said as both went back to gripping me again behind the curtain. 

I continued, "That means that even though the baby didn't make it, that DNA still lives on in her." Just reiterating that fact, I even started crying. When the attending doctor told me that, Lix and Han were sleeping, while Y/N was in the bathroom, with one of the nurses. The doctor came in to check on her and they found me, on the verge of tears, trying to will them away. It was around 4am. The doctor is married to the same doctor that saved her life in the ER. 

She was very kind with soft eyes. The doctor knocked on the bathroom door to notify the nurse to take as long as they needed. Then she turned her attention to me. They asked me to follow her and we went into a consolation room.

“The chart says you’re family… But family doesn’t cry like that.” The doctor said as we sat across from each other. “I’m here to listen. Y/N wasn’t the only one who went through a trauma today.”

I couldn’t hold it anymore as I started to sob. Something about the doctor's presence permitted that, “I should’ve protected her from him. Right after they got married he disappeared. He’s my best friend, well was my best friend …” After that I couldn’t stop. I told her how I felt about him, how I felt responsible for it all, how helpless I felt, how it all would’ve been different. I even told her what I almost did to him, how my brain can’t wrap around how she must be feeling, knowing it’d hurt too much. I didn’t leave out one detail as I sobbed. 

She held my hand across the table, “You could’ve never predicted this. This is something that is unimaginable. You trusted him with her, and she’s your heart. That in and of itself takes courage, it shows that you truly love her. To put her happiness over everything else. There is a fact that I think is a small consolation, maybe it’ll bring you comfort…”That was when she told me the fact that I just told the boys.

"Binnie?" She asked and immediately I responded as my head snapped to the privacy curtain. I tried to keep my voice as steady as I could make it so that she didn’t get worried needlessly. 

"Yes?" I asked as I let Han and Felix go.

"Can I have cuddles, please?" She asked.  I immediately took off my hoodie, leaving me in my black sleeveless shirt, and went through the curtain. I saw her face relax when she saw me. It must’ve been scary after everything to wake up alone like that. I also saw her trying to shift in the bed to make room. I went to the other side to help her.

“Don’t worry, let me help you. I got you.” I cooed as I lifted her and helped her make room for me. Within seconds I got in the hospital bed with her.

"How could I say no to cuddles? Come here." I tried to be as gentle as possible with her as I cradled her. I could see in the way her body moves, it’s so sore. It was basically pushing fruitlessly for 5 hours straight after nearly bleeding to death. Her muscles had to be screaming every time she moved, that’s why I helped her do everything, from shifting and turning, to getting her in and out of bed. The only place she won’t let me go with her is the bathroom, which is completely understandable. 

I heard her huff in frustration. When I looked at her she was glaring at her IV.

“What is it?” I asked, a little chuckle in my voice. I may or may not have an idea of what it is.

She grumbled, “IV won’t let me wrap around my Dwaekki.” She even crossed her arms as she stared at the offending object. She gets this pout. It’s so cute but she swears she is scary. It’s like seeing a puppy trying to intimidate a Bulldog. It’s not intimidating, it's cute. Even more so when she’s pouting at an inanimate object, if I’m lucky she’ll try bargaining with it.

I laughed at that, “How dare it.” I glared at it too, making her giggle a bit. I got up and repositioned the IV pole, bringing it to behind the bed, giving her more than enough room to move. I glared at it and I said “I don’t want any more trouble from you.” That earned a full on laugh. It wasn’t the same as its normal volume or anything, but it was still more progress. As soon as I laid back down her arm wrapped around me as she sighed with comfort.

She looked up at me and I looked down at her, studying her features. I’ve always cuddled with Y/N. It’s not uncommon for her head to be perched on my chest, but seeing her like this, after what she went through and still is going through is making me think. I’ve never seen anyone as strong, caring, and genuinely good as her. 

Being with her is easy, it always has been. When I’m with her it all feels like breathing. She knows what type of person I am and I know what type of person she is. It’s like we balance each other perfectly. She likes comedy and romance movies, I like thriller and horror movies. She likes to learn languages. I hate learning languages, but she makes it fun. It’s like we push each other to be better. She fits perfectly. She molds perfectly to me, her hand fitting perfectly in mine. Every day I shoved all of this away, and every night I dreamed of her. I would hold on to those dreams so tightly. Some dreams are as simple as seeing her smile while I wrap my arms around her waist. Nothing sexual about it, just letting her know that I was behind her. Others we are just existing, laughing. The only real difference was me wearing a matching wedding band to hers. Those hurt. But only for a minute or two.

All of these thoughts are dangerous. That’s what I told myself for years now. The more I see her the more I see those thoughts, not as dangerous, but honest. All of the things that I think about her, it’s not a dramatized version of her. Everything I think is completely possible, how? Because I’ve seen it. I’ve seen her reaction to me and people around me. 

Not to mention those eyes I get lost in constantly, the ones that are staring back at me right now. When she looks at me it feels like I am looking into a treasure trove. She is so full of knowledge, tenacity, and love. I could never understand how Chris could have her, and yet he looks to someone lower than her. 

Her eyes look different now, inquisitive, making my eyebrows dip momentarily. 

"Is it true?" She asked as I held her. 

" Is what true?"I asked as I saw Felix and Han pull back the curtain, both a bit more put together. They were both walking to the only two chairs in the room, Felix to the one below the window and Han to the one right next to the bed, on Y/N’s side. 

"The DNA? I have my baby's DNA," her voice cracked.

"Yes, it's true," I said as I kissed the crown of her head, "you will always have a piece of your baby with you."

She thought for a few minutes then she started to talk, very calm and very composed. 

"I…I'm scared, Binnie." I saw her playing with my shirt. It’s one of those nervous habits she has. Whenever she is nervous, she’ll start playing with the nearest object. I’ve seen her fiddle with glasses, table cloths, and kitchenware. Her favorite is any clothes with texture. When I asked her why she told me that the patterns the stitching makes is just enough texture to help calm her.  That is also why she prefers to wear anything with pockets in them, that way she can self soothe when her anxiety kicks up in public. 

All of our ears perked up at that one sentence. We are all very much aware that she just went through a nightmare situation. For her to say that something scares her is something that all of us don’t take lightly. I noticed her body tensed up after that. Almost like her internal voice escaped without her permission. She also looked like she didn’t know where to look. Her eyes darted ever so slightly as she spoke. I tried to keep my tone as gentle as possible. I know her nerves are on edge, and honestly, I would’ve been surprised if that wasn't the case.

"Why are you scared? Of what?" I asked. I put my hand over hers to stop her movements, “you can tell me.” 

"I can't lose you boys." She started tearing up as her voice started wavering, "I already lost my baby and my husband, I can't lose you guys too." At that point she buried her face in my chest as she shook, tears flowing down. 

I thought that I had reached the limit of pieces my heart can break into and yet that one confession turned whatever was left into sand. "What?" I asked, "You think you're going to lose us? What gave you that idea?"

"Your leader is the same man that's been cheating on me. He's also your best friend.” She held me like I’d disappear, like I’d not only leave her side, but go willingly. 

"Nonono, he was our best friend." Hannie said as he abandoned his chair, climbing into the bed with Y/N and me, sandwiching her in between us, as gently as possible. He rubbed her back, trying to soothe her. 

Felix went to the foot of the bed and he said, "Chris didn't just hurt you. He hurt us by hurting you. We love you so much. For him to disrespect you like that…” Felix is usually a positive person, but his face looked like a cross between hurt, sad, and angry. “ For him to disrespect, humiliate, and degrade you like that? No friend of mine does that. You aren't a friend to me either, you feel like a sister. He hurt my sister, Y/N." His voice started to crack as he said, "he hurt my bubbly, funny, goofy, older sister who would also kill anyone that dared touch me… dare touch any of us. As far as I and everyone else on this team is concerned, he's a co-worker. Nothing more, nothing less." His brows were set at that last sentence, showing her we aren’t going anywhere. 

She looked at us and said "I don't want to be the reason why things explode in your group. I don't want to cause trouble," She hid in my chest again, looking so small. I didn’t know how to comfort her in this. My heart just kept breaking and melting at the same time. Even though all of this just happened to her literally hours ago, she was still worried about us? 

Han spoke up, "You didn't cause anything. You are doing what you have to do. The only person to blame for all of this is Chris, not you." He rubbed her arm as he spoke. 

"Look up, you see Binnie?" He asked.

When she looked up she saw me. She nodded as she clutched onto me when I gave her a little smile.

"Look at your feet... You see Lixie?" He said, and sure enough, when she did Lix was right there. Rubbing her legs gently. She nodded.

"You feel me behind you?" Han completed. And she nodded.  

"We are with you, right where we want to be. Hell, Felix ran just to catch Bin before he left, right?". I nodded.“Rain or shine, we are here for you always. Whatever you want to do. Wherever you want to go. We are here."

She started sobbing, clutching onto me as Han said, "We were never going to go anywhere… not without you, okay?"

I cut in with, "And if you don't know where to go or what to do, that's okay too… we'll figure it out together." I looked down at her and I started drying her tears as they fell. 

"But what about?" She went to ask.. we all knew what she was talking about. Lix was already ahead of her on that. He dialed a number on his phone and put it on speaker. 

A few rings later & someone picked up,

"Finally I was waiting for your call!" I heard Minho on the line. 

Felix said, "Hey Hyung".

"How is she? We're all worried sick over here." Minho's voice was crystal clear.

Felix said, "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

I could tell she heard the joy in his voice, "Y/N/N?! Can you hear me, Beautiful?"

Felix laid the phone close to her.

"Y-yeah" 

"How're you feeling, gorgeous?"

"Contractions stopped." I saw her wince a little at the mention. The doctors did say that it’ll be a few days until she feels marginally better. 

"That's good, Lix was telling me you were in a lot of pain because of them… wish I was there with you." His voice fell a little at those words. 

"I'm scared," she said blatantly to Minho. I could see just the thought weighing down on her mind. She seemed like she was trying to prepare for a whole other loss. 

"Why, what is it?" He asked, his voice taking a softer approach to her now.

She couldn't say it so Han did, " She's afraid she's going to lose us, Hyung."

I added "She said she's already lost her baby and her husband. She can't take losing us too." I petted her hair back as she started to shake. I hated this, seeing her question everything since mostly everything was ripped out of her hands in the span of hours. Now she is trying to heal but she’s scared to rely on anyone, being vulnerable, all because the two people she trusted with everything were the same ones who stabbed her in the back. The anxiety rolling off of her was dizzying. I did my best to stay calm for her, I’m never leaving her. We aren’t leaving her, ever. 

I heard Minho open a car door. "Y/N/N?" He asked as the door slammed. 

"Y-yes?" She replied. 

"I'm outside the hospital waiting with all the boys until visiting hours start." As soon as Minho said that there was a resounding "Hi Y/N/N!!" Through the phone. 

"You will never lose us … Do you hear me?" Minho's voice sounded resolute and final.

“You promise?” She asked weeping, “Because I can’t lose you MinMin… I can’t lose my boys, m’not strong enough.” She pressed herself into me, trying to convince herself that we aren’t going anywhere. Han was rubbing her back while she cried, trying to keep his composure. Lix gave me a tissue for her and I started drying her tears. 

I could hear Minho’s voice breaking, "Y/N/N-ie I promise. I want to hold you so bad right now. Just another half an hour. Okay? Then you can see us and we can see you and hug you and hold you… we missed you and we are so worried."  

Then Hyunjin's voice rang out, thicker, like he himself started crying, "You deserve so much more than Chris could ever be. You hear me? You deserve to be pampered and cared for. Not taken for granted and lied to. We love you and we'll see you soon, okay?" 

I.N piped up with "I can't wait to take you to lunch or dinner if you get out today! Where do you want to go?!" 

That whimsical question seemed to make her relax a little as she said, "How about that Ramyeon place we always go to?" She asked, 

"Ohh that's a great idea! I'm dying for some Nongshim Shin Ramyun." He sounded so happy. 

That half an hour never went by quicker. They stood on the phone as they waited, talking about nothing and everything at the same time. As soon as the clock hit 8:30 am all I could hear was wind… 

"We are running to you right now!" Minho said. 

I could hear the occasional shove and giggle. A few minutes later there was a stampede of sneakers on the floor and as they walked in Minho said "In 3..2..1.." then he pulled the curtain back and hung up. 

**********************************************************************

Want More? TELL ME SO!

Want to Join the Stray Kids Tag Army? Shoot me an ask and consider it done!

STRAY KIDS TAG ARMY:

@Fuckthinking, @feybin, @1-800-shedevil, @channiesbakery , @channieswhore, @hwangswhore, @seungminhour, @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat, @seventeenytiny, @dreaming-medium, @thunderous-wolf @hanjsquokka, @moonjxsung, @diddybok, @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz-recs, @straykeedz ,@tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs, @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex, @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox, 

@laylasbunbunny,@uwuitsjungwoo, @3racha-soup

#Not as bad as the last 2 but here we go! #Aftermath of a miscarriage #some fluff #descriptions of grief due to losing a baby #Crying Lixie #Crying Hannie #Crying Binnie #Grief #slight panic #fear of abandonment. #Shock #stray kids imagines #stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids x reader #stray kids angst #skz #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz angst #bangchan x reader #changbin #han jisung #lee minho #lee know #Felix #lee felix

[mysterycharacterflowers]

Round 1; A bouquet of white chrysanthemums, orchids and blue hydrangeas Vs Forget-me-nots

If you know who they are, or are pretty sure of it, please don't tell until this poll has ended!

First, let's talk about the bouquet of white chrysanthemums, orchids and blue hydrangeas

Meaning: White Chrysanthemums: represent grief and are a way to pay respects to the deceased, especially family. Orchids: represent strength and beauty in the face of adversity. They can symbolize his resilience and the beauty he brings to the lives of those around him. Irises: are a symbol of hope and wisdom. They can represent his ability to persevere and make wise decisions despite the difficulties he has faced. Blue Hydrangeas: can symbolize deep emotions and understanding. They can represent both the grief he feels due to losing his family and the understanding to push through regardless. Description: This is a young man who has faced a series of hardships in life, lacking guidance and living day-to-day without clear goals or ambitions. He has lost both his parents and his older sister in car accidents, leaving him with no immediate family except for his goddaughter. Despite not even having a girlfriend previously, he now has to adapt to caring for a baby without much, if any, support. It's heavy, but he carries it extremely well. He's a very loving person and has been a great father thus far, all things considered. He's hard working, compassionate, and above all else wants to do his family proud. He is so tired though. He doesn't find himself smiling often. Poor thing.

Check their post here

Now, let's talk about the Forget-me-nots

Meaning and why this flower was chosen: For one it's kind of an association thing; he's a very soft and gentle person, but also upbeat and dedicated to the people he cares about. He would also like the color and shape of the flowers, and he'd enjoy having a bunch around his living space just because they're pretty. Symbolism wise, too, he loves deeply and is loved deeply and is missed deeply. In a sense he's like a personification of the flowers, almost, but not quite. I just associate forget-me-nots with him a lot. Description: He's cheerful, excited to be alive, and loves the world deeply, always wanting to know more about it. He's very good at seeing the brighter side of things, and is endlessly encouraging and supportive, though not overbearing and pushy about things. He's also deeply curious, and will dedicate himself to learning more about what he's interested in at any given point, and he has many passions he's developed over the years besides his main one. He's almost kind of cheesy with how he expresses his affection because he's very genuine with it, but his loved ones know that about him and only love him all the more. Also he's agender. No gendered terms like 'brother' or 'boy' for him pls

Check their post here

#round 1 #mysterious character 2: bouquet of marigolds - edelweiss - rhododendron #mysterious character 2: forget-me-nots

[eabhaalynn]

Punisher and Why it is my Album of the Year... Already

Every few years, we come across a singer-songwriter who is so devastatingly assured in their talent that they come to be generation defining. Their songs are synonymous with the era they’re written in, with the themes they discuss. Names like Bob Dylan, Stevie Nicks, and Amy Winehouse come to mind. This weeks’ release of “Punisher,” the sophomore album by Californian indie-rock icon Phoebe Bridgers has solidified her name on that list.

From her first note of her first album ‘Stranger in the Alps’ in 2017, we could see -or perhaps more fittingly, hear- that Phoebe is a force to be reckoned with. Her distinctive, haunting vocals from that album have made the soundtrack to many summers since, and many films to match. ‘Motion Sickness’details the emotional abuse of a relationship the then twenty-two-year-old musician had with Ryan Adams, an established voice in the alternative rock scene. In the years since, numerous allegations of sexual misconduct against Adams have come to the public’s attention. This only further points to the bravery of Bridgers’ in writing and releasing such a poignant track so early on in her career.

Thematically, Stranger in the Alps touches on death, depression, emotional abuse and heartbreak, without ever verging into the cringe or the cliché. Bridgers’ raw, honest vocals and song-writing skill make it a strangely comforting experience to listen to, and an album that is as melodically beautiful as it is lyrically heart wrenching. You would be forgiven for thinking that it’d be too impossible an act to follow, especially for an artist so early on in her career.

“The future’s unwritten, the past is a corridor.” – Smoke Signals, 2017

Ms Bridgers swiftly followed her solo debut with 2018’s Boygenius and 2019’s Better Oblivion Community Center. The former, a collaboration with Julian Baker and Lucy Dacus, played into the strengths of all three musicians, resulting in a fusion of indie-rock and folk-rock, and giving Phoebe ample opportunity to release more of the distinctive poetic lyricism that have become synonymous with her name. The blend of the three genres and voices is a beautiful and haunting EP that has aged with Ms Bridgers and become a defining moment for her career.

The latter, Better Oblivion Community Center, is a duo consisting of Phoebe and long-term friend and collaborator Conor Oberst. Their self-titled debut album loosely is themed around a dystopian wellness centre of the same name. The record is coherent, creative and once again plays to the strengths of both musicians, their voices complement each other beautifully, despite or perhaps because of the contrast in their styles. The album is undoubtably a feat of production, and plays into elements of electronic and country music, for the first, though evidently not the last time in Phoebe’s discography.

“So sick of being honest / I’ll die like Dylan Thomas” – Dylan Thomas, 2019

Which brings us swiftly on to 2020, the year of COVID, contradictions and confusion for all of us. Punisher, Phoebe Bridgers’ sophomore album was released on June 18th, at the perfect intersection of lockdowns lift and the beginning of summer. The release itself coincided with a time of social upheaval across the US and further afield, prompting Bridgers to move the official release date a day forward from ‘Juneteenth’, the official end of slavery in the US. Across her social media profiles, she prompted her fans to donate to organisations seeking racial justice.

"I'm not [delaying] the record until things go back to 'normal' because I don't think they should,” – https://twitter.com/phoebe_bridgers

The album opens with the instrumental track, ‘DVD Menu,’a seventy-second long, vaguely ominous string-led instrumental reminiscent of the video-game themes the artist would’ve grown up with in the early 2000s. It provides the perfect anticipatory build up into lead-single ‘Garden Song,’ a prospective looking, dreamy love song. Initially released on February 26th, 2020; Garden Song acts somewhat as a sequel to Stranger in the Alps’ Smoke Signals. It follows thematically, melodically, and continues Phoebes’ established lyrical poeticism. Like Smoke Signals, Garden Song is slow, but enthralling. The melody makes you want to listen, the lyrics make you want to fall in love.

Following on from this is second single, and third song, ‘Kyoto,’ in sharp contrast to the slow, strong self-awareness of the earlier songs, Kyoto presents a whirlwind of emotions, an aural dissociation of sorts. Kyoto is fast-paced, guitar led, and even difficult to follow. Almost anxiety-inducing, Kyoto is an exciting accomplishment of alt-pop. Phoebe’s strong descriptive lyrics manage to change themes between and even within verses, suggesting a struggle between her inner and her outer self, and how this same struggle bleeds into her relationships with others.

In musical circles, a ‘Punisher,’ is a name for an overzealous fan. The titular track of the album places Phoebe herself in this role. The song imagines a conversation between Phoebe and an artist she clearly admires very much. It is the first piano-led track of the album; and marks a contrast with the prior songs as she is able to outwardly express her emotion and feelings in the song’s narrative for the first time. While this is essentially a song to a stranger, it is marked with Phoebe’s distinctive emotional lyrics and vocal; and retains the same charge of emotional attachment that has become so characteristic of her discography.

Following this is ‘Halloween,’ a song that plunges us immediately into Phoebe’s narrative and lived situation. Utilising picking on guitar strings to produce the holiday season of the song’s setting sonically, Ms Bridgers takes us into her loveless relationship just in time for ‘cuffing season,’ and the all too familiar feeling of holding on to something that isn’t there, just because of the time of year. The melancholy is only furthered by the repetition in the song’s latter half by Conor Oberst, collaborator and Better Oblivion Community Centrebandmate.

Fan-favourite, and a personal favourite of mine, ‘Chinese Satellite,’ reflects on loss, and grief. Musically, it builds, starting slowly with a single guitar line and Phoebe’s vocals. By the end of the first verse, both the guitars and vocals have been layered, producing a haunting effect only furthered by the synth and drums of the latter half of the song.

Lyrically, Phoebe starts out questioning her circumstances, wondering why this unnamed event has occurred. She later turns this uncertainty onto herself, questioning her own lack of faith. Finally, she remembers memories of herself with the person who has been lost, and in retrospect, she yearns for the belief that she will see them again. This yearning that closes the song is accompanied by a drum, once again paired only with her voice, that is sonically reminiscent of a heartbeat. Chinese Satellite has provided a great comfort to me personally in a time of great loss, and while I know I am calling it extremely early I do not doubt it is my song of the year.

“Moon Song” follows, and it is a love song to someone facing issues with their own self-esteem. With beautifully raw production, the tough scratch of an acoustic guitar provides contrast to the soft and kind vocals. The song provides some of the best lyrics of the album, or perhaps of her entire discography, and in doing so, manage to make a fairly specific story of love through mental illness and self-deprecation accessible to Ms Bridgers’ broad audience.

‘We hate ‘Tears in Heaven’ / But it’s sad his baby died’ – Moon Song, 2020

This theme of a somewhat doomed relationship continues into ‘Savio[u]r Complex,’in this similarly acoustic ballad, orchestral strings pitched above Phoebe’s voice play further into the melancholy and toxicity described throughout the songs’ lyrics. Her use of metaphor and allegory throughout the song helps retain the accessibility of the otherwise characteristically dark lyrics, her strong descriptions throughout playing into the same emotions of Stranger in the Alps’ ‘Funeral.’

‘ICU’ initially released as ‘I See You’ due to the timing of the COVID crisis, was the final single released before the album, on May 19th,2020.  It is a typically Phoebe Bridgers’ breakup song, one that acknowledges the love that she’s losing. Starting with a soft scream, literally, the songs’ vocals are raw over a distorted synth background. Sonically, the song is a mesh of all of the components of the songs preceding it, building to a climax before dropping out just in time for the final verse. This is, in my opinion, the best single, and one of her best to date.

Penultimate song ‘Graceland Too’ swings the album in a bluegrass direction, and in doing so, provides an ode to the influences Bridgers has taken from the genre. Its title references Elvis Presley’s ranch and tourist attraction of the same name. The song features her Boygenius bandmates in its latter half, resulting in an admirable melody not dissimilar to their EP.

The album closes with ‘I Know the End,’ an anthemic ballad that falls just short of six-minutes long. It begins telling different stories, centring around episodes of low-mood and depression, the causes of which are implied consistently to be related to the stresses of touring and the musician’s lifestyle. These stories are told over a guitar-led melody, initially pitched to be much quieter than the vocals. A feat of production, the messy string melody gains traction as the song progresses, building over the first half of the song in pitch, volume and number of instruments. Around the two-minute mark, the song is split by an instrumental, and when vocals return, they bring with them an increasing sense of urgency. The latter half of the song details a road trip Phoebe takes and pays heed to the sights and sounds she encounters throughout.

The song, and thus the album, concludes with a chorus of vocals repeating ‘The End is Near,’ over a chaotic melody of all sorts of instruments and assorted sounds, before descending into shouts and screams from Phoebe and friends in the last number of seconds.

I don’t even believe I need to clarify this, but just in case you have any doubt, this album is my favourite of the year so far. 10/10

#Phoebe Bridgers #punisher #stranger in the alps #boygenius #better oblivion community center #indie pop #indie #music #music review

[starsscribble]

No one asked for this but I finally finished her profile! Profile layout by AnnJoanne on DeviantART

Introduction

Name: Luana Kekoa Nickname:  Lua, Ana, Luna (family only), Green Bean Age: 15/16 (S2) 18 (S3) Birthday:  March 13, 2000 Astrological Sign: Pisces Gender: Female Sexual Orientation: Pansexual Past/Bio: Born to a polyamorous couple; Siofra, Diwata, and Leo Kekoa, Luana is the eldest of three siblings. Siofra, Luana's biological mother, was from a noble Fae family in Gemworld. Not wanting to go along with her family arranged marriage she fled to Earth; sometime in the late '80s. Fearing her family would track her; Siofra kept traveling Earth. One of the most notable places she stopped at was Siquijor, Philippines. The magic of the small island cause Siofra to stay longer than normal. In doing so Siofra met Diwata Villena; an apprentice witch. The two would become lovers and traveling partners.

In the mid-'90s the lovers made a stop in Hilo, Hawaii. Like what happened in Siquijor; the magic of the island caused Siofra and Diwata to stay longer. In doing so they met Leo Kekoa who worked as a part-time tour guide. It was Leo who fell in love first. He tried to spend as much time as he could with the women. Siofra and Diwata were no strangers to having another person in their relationship. Leo himself seemed fine with this as well. The issue came when Siofra decided it was time to move on. Leo wasn't willing to leave and even Diwata was ready to find a place to call home. Talking it over Siofra agreed to stay; assuming that her family has given up their search.  

Leo and Diwata married a year after into order for her to gain U.S. citizenship, she also started up her own business; similar to where she studied and worked at during her apprenticeship Siquijor.

Two years later both Siofra and Diwata turned out to be expecting. The women had homebirths; Siofra giving birth to Luana a few days before Diwata gave birth to Marisol; Luana's half-sister.

The family of five was content with the lives. It changed when Luana and Marisol were seven. Siofra's assumption was wrong; it had taken a long time but her family finally tracked her down. Siofra fought against family members that came to take her back to Gemworld. However, when one cousin threatened to harm her children she stopped her attacks. Forced to go back to Gemworld; Siofra was denied from saying her farewell to her children and spouses. Luana's last memory is watching her mother disappear through a portal.

About Her

Personality: Luana is a go with the flow kind of person; however if what is happening around her become reckless she will voice her opinion. For her it is up to the person to listen, she will not force them. Luana tried to be tactful as to not hurt others' feelings; of course, she does have her blunt moments. Protect of those she cares for; she is willing to put their needs first even above her own. Luana is bad at dealing with negative emotions; like grief or insecurity. She will often time bottle those feeling up. Saying she will deal with them at a later date, she never does. Once these emotions bubble over she is left confused as to why she feels this way. She will try to isolate herself and once again bottle up and avoid certain emotions; because she doesn't others to worry about her. Occupation: High School Student (S2), Shop Assistant and Potion maker (family business) Likes: - Warm Climates - Nature - Meditating - Fae Mythology - Sunrise - Spending time with family or friends Dislikes: - Cold Climates - Movies with kidnapping - Urban areas - Deforestation - Disrespectful People Hobbies: Gardening, Yoga, Hiking, Spell Crafting, Surfing, Seashell collecting Fears: Separation, Losing loved ones, Losing control of her powers Talents: Foraging, Herbalism, Multilingual

Appearance

Height: 5'3 (160.02 cm) Skin Tone: Medium Beige Eye Color: Bottle Green Hair Description: Emerald Green (natural), Brown (Glamour), Wavy, Long, Kept in a ponytail when in hero mode.

Relationships

Father: Leo Kekoa Mother: Siofra (biological/mom), Diwata Kekoa (mama) Siblings: Marisol Kekoa (younger), Erik Kekoa (baby brother) Best Friends: Jason Todd Friends: Kaldur, Tula†, Rosaleen Lareine (oc), Cassandra Sandsmark, Mentor(s): Siofra (formally), Leo and Diwata Kekoa, Zatanna Love Interest: Jason Todd

Hero Information

Code Name: Mana Place of Origin: U.S.A Residence: Hilo, Hawaii Affiliations: Kekoa family, The Team, The Outsiders (S3) Powers and Abilities:

Mana Manipulation - A combination of life-force manipulation and magic; Luana is currently the only known user. Similar to a life-force user; a mana user can draw energy from their surrounding. However, mana relies on spells and magic objects to create the user desired effect.

Energy Projection - This is created without a spoken spell; by the users will. The user controls the shape, intensity, and range of the attack.

Mana Form - Formerly a sealed power; the seal was broken when Luana underwent experiments when in Reach custody. In this form, Luana becomes a begin of pure mana. Luana doesn't have full control of this power. When she uses it she will draw in mana indiscriminately; this is dangerous in high tech areas. As she will take mana from the close living things she can find.

Occultism - The mystic arts have been around Luana all her life. Along with her research and training with her mother Diwata and Zatanna. Luana has a great understanding of magic; by no means does she know it all, but she is willing to learn.

Spell Creation - Due to her powers needing spells to better focus the energy, Luana is skilled in form spells for her needs.

Non-Vocal - There are a few spells Luana doesn't need to say aloud to use. Currently, these spells are barriers, levitation, and telekinesis using mana.

Potions - Studying beside Diwata and using her talents in herbalism. Luana can brew potions with the desired effects of her needs or the request.

Weaknesses:

Iron - Because of her far heritage; iron has the ability her contain and hurt her. In small doses, iron will have similar effects to allergies; mostly hives and feeling sick. After an hour or so Luana will start to feel better. Large doses of iron will cause more problems and she might go into anaphylaxis shock.

Basic Human Weaknesses - Even with her powers and heritage; Luana is still part human and has the weaknesses of one.

Emotions - Her powers in some way are connected to her emotions. They can affect the size and strength of a spell if she is not careful.

Mana Reliant - Luana is very dependent on her powers when in a fight. When joining the Team Luana was barely even a novice in hand-to-hand. Even with her now begin more capable in hand-to-hand, and even a few weapons. She will fall back to her powers.

High Tech Areas - Since her power relies on energy found in or around organic/living begins. High tech areas pose a problem to not only Luana but her teammates. As she doesn't want to pull mana from them to weaken them.

Vocal Lose - Since Luana's powers need spells to focus them. If she was to lose her voice she would be limited to her non-vocal spells.

Weapons: On Luana's suit there are four gemstones each holding one object. All Luana has to do is touch the gem to activate them.

A wand with a small amount of stored mana

A staff with a larger amount of stored mana

Siofra's spellbook

Her spellbook

Extra Information

Quotes:

"It’s not cheating. I’m just helping my plants grow."

"I may or may not have turned Jason into a weasel." (Time-Skip)

"Leave me lone. I just sad girl."

Theme Song: Reasons to Stay & Talk to Me Food:  Lumpia and Guri Guri Drink: Lemonade Color: Emerald Green Animal: Monk Seal

#my OC #young justice oc

[yukiwrites]

A Broken Promise, A Fulfiled Duty

Thank you so much for commissioning me again, @breeachuu​! This was so feely to write I cried a bit ;v;) I hope you like it!

Summary: Robin sacrificed herself to stop the threat of Grima for eternity. She left behind her growing family -- Chrom, Lucina, Morgan and their baby sister Luci --  as well as the friends she promised to always stay with. Nidra grieved her human friend more than anything in the world, but decided to uphold her promise with Robin.

Commission info HERE (closed!) and HERE! (closed!)

Origin Peak. Naga had used most of her power to transport and heal the Shepherds as they fought over the Fell Dragon's back. Grima flew over the clouds, its sheer speed making the soldiers flinch, taking the most they could to simply stand, let alone fight under these conditions.

Nidra, Meliodas, Henry and Cynthia fought with their backs to the Fell Dragon's neck, where Robin and Chrom fought the Avatar of Destruction, the Robin who came from Lucina's future. The older manakete protected her children, taking blows meant for them with ease -- her dragon form was significantly larger than Meliodas' due to her old age, and Cynthia fought over her pegasus. Henry made a mount out of his wife and cursed any and every Risen within his sight -- and boy, was his sight amplified due to Nidra's flight.

But the dark mage gasped for a split of second due to Nidra flinching under him. It was as though her power had been sapped for a moment, taking her by surprise. Widening her eyes, Nidra looked around to the battlefield, seeing it in slow motion. She could feel that every manakete in the area reacted the same way -- it felt like Naga had been borrowing a bit of each dragon's power to use it to seal Grima with Falchion, guided by her true son, Chrom.

Her heartbeat slow, Nidra almost closed her eyes, feeling somewhat peaceful that her power was being used to banish Grima from this era, but soon the rush of battle came crashing down at her: her power was returned all at once as the very ground they stood shook.

Robin didn't let Chrom deal the last blow.

She used her own magic against the Fell Dragon, taking its pain within her body and dissolving alongside it.

"ROBIN!" Nidra could hear Chrom's desperate yell from behind, her own body moving towards it.

"NO!! MOTHER!!" She heard Morgan and Lucina say in unison, their voices begging for it not to be true.

Nidra blinked, quickly opening her large jaw and picking Meliodas by his neck, grabbing both Cynthia and her mount with each of her hands: Grima's gargantuan body was falling at an increasing speed.

Henry held onto Nidra's neck as the manakete beat her wings slowly so as to alleviate the wind's pressure in her husband and humanoid daughter.

Naga's light once again enveloped the Shepherds, allowing them a safe landing at the foot of Origin Peak, right beside the now disintegrating bones of Grima.

Chrom held the only thing left of Robin: her coat. He squeezed it with one hand, grinding his jaw so as not to burst into tears right there and then. "It's done -- Grima will never again... never again," he stuttered, his eyes overflowing with tears despite his utmost efforts. "Never again plague humanity." He brought Robin's coat to his chest at the same time Morgan threw himself in his arms. "Let's not give up hope -- our bonds with Robin are much too strong for her to simply disappear like that. Let's not... give up hope." His voice faltered as his eyes fell on Lucina, who looked at the lump of dust the Avatar of Destruction had become, then back at the coat her father held.

"She was... she IS my true Mother, no matter what my parentage with that Vessel who came back from the future is." Lucina whispered, slowly heading towards the remainder of her family. "She has to come back; she promised... she promised she would take us all to live the life of a true family."

Nidra sobbed, not realizing she had placed her family safely on the ground and transformed back to her humanoid form. "R-Robin...!" She cried. It wasn't a surprise, really -- Robin really was someone who always prioritized other before herself, so seeing her give her own life for the sake of this world's future was truly something she would do, despite having promised otherwise.

But it still hurt.

It hurt so, so very much.

Nidra wasn't ready to part with her closest human friend from this era. From any era, really.

Robin was much too important to the manakete for her to even fathom saying goodbye that soon.

"Oh, Robin!" Nidra grieved, digging her face within her hands. She felt a tackling hug almost shatter her ribs, then an equally strong pair of arms squeezing the breath out of her body.

"I-it's gonna be alright, Mother!" Cynthia sniffled, digging her face into Nidra's chest. "Now I know what it means to be a true hero, and Robin fits the d-de-description! But, you know?" She looked up to her mother, her cheeks awash with tears. "Heroes always come back in the end!" Her lips trembled. "D-don't they?"

Nidra widened her eyes, conflicting emotions warring inside of her. She looked from her daughter to her approaching son, then to her husband whose hand never left her shoulder. With her enhanced hearing, she could still hear Lucina's, Morgan's and Chrom's quiet sobs, the Exalted family doing their best to not be overcome by sadness and grief.

"If anything ever happens to me... Nidra, I'm counting on you to take care of her." Nidra remembered her friend saying the very day young Lucina was born. The very day she took it upon herself to be the small princess' godmother, and to watch over her until her small light faded and her own children ruled over Ylisse.

Once again Nidra felt the tears burn her eyes, but this time she took a deep breath and patted her daughter's head. "... Of course they do, Cynthia. They always do. And Robin WILL return."

"Nyep, Robin isn't so weak to just, you know, die if you kill her!" Henry smiled, wrapping one arm around his wife and daughter, opening the remaining one for Meliodas to join.

"She is a very strong woman, indeed." The young manakete nodded, his expression of grief out of sympathy for his friend Lucina for losing her mother. "We'll never stop looking for her."

"... No. No, we will not." Nidra nodded, looking up at the parting clouds, feeling the warmth of the sun for the first time in months. "I would rather you both returned with us to Ylisse, however, though I will not force you to."

"Mother?" Cynthia tilted her head to the side, her face still wet with tears.

"I've a duty to uphold there and it would be best if we all were together."

The end of a war did not mean the end of one's duties with their kingdom -- on the contrary. It was within the rebuilding that rested the true responsibility of a ruler.

Chrom would need to be strong for his family, present OR future one, at the same time as he ruled over a kingdom and establish better relations with their neighboring one.

Nidra's volunteering to care for young Lucina alongside the wet-nurses would help the Exalt immensely, though it did much to increasing his grieving over his wife.

Seeing Nidra holding Lucina instead of Robin the times he went to visit the baby brought Chrom mixed feelings he would rather not divulge to his eager to help manakete friend.

He arranged for her and Henry's quarters to be moved closer to the Royal Wing and would do the same for Cynthia's and Meliodas' hadn't the manakete children refused in lieu of staying at the barracks, close to their time-traveling friends.

Lucina was promoted to the leader of the Shepherds at the same time Morgan took it upon himself to lead search after search for their missing Mother. The entire Royal Family did the best they could not to feel Robin's absence by doing what she did the most: prioritize work at the expense of their own health.

Given the circumstances, Nidra didn't feel that she had the right to tell Chrom off, or any of them, really. The most she could do at the moment was uphold her promise with her dearest friend and be there for young Luci at her every need.

"Cool thing that we've moved to the Castle, huh?" Henry hummed one afternoon as they took a short break under a tree at the gardens. "But I guess we'll be kicked out once Robin comes back, nyaha!"

Nidra pinched her husband's ribs, stealing a squeal out of him. "Robin would never do that to us, though I do agree that I would rather live in the outskirts of the city once everything returns to normal around here."

"Fufu, yeah, raising four dragon children will really need a lot of space; good thinking on the outskirts, Ni-Ni!"

Nidra smiled for what felt the first time in six months, ever since Robin had disappeared. She absentmindedly caressed her stomach, wondering how it felt to be pregnant. "Two of them are already grown, unfortunately. Though I'm not opposed to having them living with us for the rest of our days."

"MY days you mean? Yeah!" He laughed, bonking his head on her lap as he melted down to the grassy ground. "Don't try to take it all on yourself, okay? I'm not gonna live as long as you, but I sure as heck ain't gonna leave you that soon -- so you can tell me anything! I thought we talked more than this before the end of the war!"

Nidra's eyes burned, her hand flinching over her husband's silky hair. "It's only... that being confronted by the sudden truth that I will be left alone one time or another; to care for a too young baby on my own for all eternity... I suppose it is like when humans are confronted with their own mortality, but with the mortality of my loved ones instead."

Henry clasped both hands over his chest, the same way humans usually fashioned the corpses of their loved ones inside the coffins. "I'm not gonna die that soon, though? I told you I'm researching life-extending stuff with your dragonstone, yeah? Besides, thinking about my death all the time's only gonna make it come sooner!"

"No!" Nidra gasped, holding Henry's face with both of her hands.

"Just when I started thinking that I actually wanted to live a bit longer instead of wanting to die a gory death or something..." He chuckled, lifting both hands to upside-down caress Nidra's cheeks. "Robin's gonna come back and we're gonna have our amazing five-dragon family, alright? Let's have that smile now!"

Nidra snorted, her vision blurred by tears. A few fell over Henry's cheeks, making him let out 'eeks' of surprise and setting her off even more. "I love you, Henry. Thank you so much for being there for this foolish wife of yours."

"Hey, no biggie! We're bound to life AND death, you and I!" He giggled, slightly pulling her downwards for a kiss.

The manakete indulged her husband, kissing him for what felt the first time in months. Her heart much lighter than before, Nidra smiled over Henry's lips. "Now I must see Luci."

"Hey, we were having a moment!"

"Forgive me, Henry, but a song is bubbling inside my chest and I must sing it for my goddaughter. May it give her the strength it gave me when I first heard it."

"Oooh, a one person concert! I'm coming, too!"

Nidra arrived at Luci's quarters moments after she had been fed by the wet nurse -- the woman was somewhat having trouble putting the baby back to sleep, as always.

It was as though the little princess missed her mother's arms and refused to be lulled to sleep in anyone else's but hers. Nidra felt the song bubbling out of her lips as she stepped inside the room and opened her arms to the wet nurse, silently asking for Lucina.

The seasons, they turn, ♪

Winter to spring. ♫

Dulling the pain and ♪

Erasing the sting. ♫

She sang slowly, carefully holding the wailing little girl.

The seasons, they turn, ♪

Summer to fall, ♫

Time's warm embrace, ♪

Begins to heal all. ♫

And though she may be gone, ♪

Just ash in the wind, ♫

One life surrendered, ♪

So yours can begin ♫

Baby Luci blinked slowly, her tears giving way to drowsiness, as though she could understand the words being sung to her.

Courage, little children,

This is your song. ♫

She is your Earth,

She will make you strong. ♫

The young princess sucked on her thumb in her sleep, peaceful as though she weren't crying her eyes out moments previous.

"Woot! You calmed her down stat!" Henry clapped by the door, being shushed by both women in response. "Oh, yeah, whoops. Sleeping baby."

Nidra smiled softly at the tiny little human in her arms, feeling their bonds of god family strengthening. She would do anything in her power to protect that little light. Whatever it took.

One year after singing Mila's song to Luci for the first time, Nidra once again felt as though her power was being robbed out of her for a moment, much like that day, almost two years ago. Though this time, it felt as though her power was being borrowed to return something, instead of sealing it.

The manakete blinked, her breath slow to return as she looked down to the baby in her arms. "Robin...! Your mother is back, Luci!" She gasped loudly, quickly getting up and adjusting the baby in her arms so she could storm out of the room, towards Chrom's study. "Chrom!"

"Nidra?! You too?" Nidra almost ran into Nowi inside the room -- Nah, Tiki and Meliodas were there as well. "You felt it, right? Robin's presence!"

The older manakete sniffled. "I did... I did! Robin has returned! I can almost pinpoint her location!"

"Me too!" Nowi lifted her hand, followed by Nah. Tiki and Meliodas nodded in response, making Chrom widen his eyes and open his mouth although no sound left it at first.

"Take me there! Quickly!" He said at last, tripping over his desk as he tried to circle it towards the door.

"Hop on!" Nowi lifted her dragonstone, ready to transform inside the cramped room.

"MOTHER! NOT HERE!" Nah snatched the stone from Nowi's hands, sighing in relief right after. "C'mon, we'll be your guides!"

"Meliodas, go get Morgan and Lucina! They need to be there, as well." Nidra huffed as she draped baby Luci around her chest, ready to run all the way to the open field she felt Robin's presence at. She wouldn't transform while carrying a baby that young, after all. The air pressure was still too much for her.

"Very well!" Meliodas concurred, quickly running to the opposite direction the other manaketes did

"She is your Earth," Nidra mumbled, caressing Luci's poofy hair, "and she will make you strong," she sniffled, almost feeling Robin's arms around her. "Gone she is no longer; from the ash she returned -- to sustain you, year after year."

Song used: Modified version of Heritors of Arcadia

#chrobin #chrom #lucina #fire emblem awakening #fatesona #my writings #Yuki's Commissions