#estranged parents

[melblogsgfreethruptsd]

“We’ve tried everything “ 🤥

#toxic parents #dysfunctional family #nmom #emotional abuse #accountability #estrangement #estranged parents #scapegoating #no contact #aftermath

[nothing0fnothing]

NEWSFLASH for abusive parents: NO Pussy is that good.

Exactly no one in the history of ever has had a happy, healthy, loving relationship with their mum and gone no contact with them for seven years, just because their partner asked them to.

OP knows this better than anyone, because she knew to tell her son not to get involved when she found out the girlfriend was no contact with her own toxic parents. She gives no other reason why she didn't want her "genius" son to meet the "very smart and nice" Law undergrad girl he was in love with, because that was the only one. She didn't want her son to connect with other adults who are healthily and happily no contact from their own abusive family members, because she didn't want him to see it was possible.

She really wants us to beleive that she is such a victim, because her son picked an "outsider to the family" over her. Her sons girlfriend is the person she's decided is going to take the blame, and hell will freeze over before she considers blamimg the relationship breakdown on literally anyone else. Note how she breezes past telling us about her sons "accusations" of her. She's stressing that he'd never brought the issues up before he met the girl when he was in college, but never actually denies them. Considering her son and his girlfriend described her as a "criminal", I'm gonna just assume that if it was trivial, she'd have told us what she's been accused of. He didn't choose his girlfriend over his mum at all. With all the pot stirring and projecting she's admitted to doing in this post alone, it seems to me he chose himself over her. With the way she's deflecting like it's her job and rents due, I don't blame him.

Here's a take that might be controversial: stalking... is bad. Even.. if you get someone else to do it for you.

"I had to use one of those search services" (What these psycho parents call private investigators, because it sounds more like they were searching for someone missing than that they paid someone to stalk their target.) as if her being out of pocket, paying for someone to seek out a person who clearly does not wish to be found, was super fucking inconvenient for her. I just want to scream "No babe, you didn't "have to" do anything. You chose to do that because you can't comprehend the fact that your now 30 year old son isn't your property." This dude is just young, free and living his best no contact life with his super cool, lawyer girlfriend. Literally nobody reasonable was concerned for his safety.

This is a woman who doesn't know how to apologise because she genuinely can't conceive of a scenario where she could be at fault. That snide comment "lord forbid I care about him" actually infuriates me. This woman has admitted to running her own son out of his hometown after attempting to ruin his relationship, using his father and sister as informants against him till he had to cut them off too, and paying a stranger to stalk him. This poor guy has had his life absolutely torn apart by this bitter hag of a mother. He had to orphan himself from his entire family when he was barely 20 years old to protect himself from this utter nutcase, and she has the fucking audacity to say "God forbid I..." as if she has experienced any consequences for any of her own truly unhinged behaviour.

I don't care if she's old, if I see this twat, it's on sight.

The "Poor me" angle she's trying to run at this with is pretty pathetic and really transparent. I'm not sure who beleives she's an innocent victim, but this "I text him every day and they bounce because I've been blocked for seven years" shtick is boring and over dramatic. Especially when even the fact that the girl has a law degree is enough to provoke some weird, barely related attempt at a smug remark. She's clearly not too sad to be salty. When she's not coming off whiney and sad she's just coming across as bitter and jealous. It's not a good look and it's clearly not worked for her up till now, but she's committed to the bit and she's not gonna turn it around.

Her son is happy and she's just so mad about it.

Womp womp.

#estranged parents #estrangement #no contact #toxic parents #toxic mom #dysfunctional family #dysfunctional household #narcissistic abuse

[sheregenerated13]

I changed the Stardew Valley letters from 'Your Mom' and 'Your Dad' to be from 'Your Aunt' and 'Your Bestie' to be a bit friendlier to folks who have estranged parents, etc. I also changed some of the letter contents to make sense (from a friend, not parent, etc.)

I'll pin the file to the #gaymes channel in my LGBTQ safe space server if anyone needs it! Also in my thasmin!! server :)

#Stardew Valley #Stardew Valley Mod #Stardew Valley Mods #Not much of a mod but made a huge impact for me #Estranged Parents #LGBTQ #Gaymer #I learned how to do all of this on the chucklefish forums #and also through this amazing tutorial with screen capture video and written instructions #amazing tutorial at http://web.simmons.edu/~allwarde/LIS488/GameModTutorial/tutorial.html #MacOS #Terminal #Steam #Why does mac have to make it so difficult to use the computer to computer stuff like ffs #the hoops i had to jump through #unreasonable #anyway #enjoy the fruits of my labor or whatever #i'm unemployed and a hot mess trying to figure out a ton of paperwork to get medical care and everything but i decided to stay up to do thi #also my car battery died and it took 6+ hours for AAA to come #and they didn't even fix it tbh cuz they didn't bring a new battery they just said i needed one which i kinda figured cuz it was kaputt #at least i'll always have stardew valley

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

I have little to no sympathy for these gen X parents who go on TikTok and other platforms and whine about how their adult children suddenly refused to talk to them and cut them off. I can guarantee you that those parents did something to make their child not want to talk to them ever again and the child in question already tried to mend the relationship. People don't cut off their parents casually.

#gen x is so incapable of taling responsibility for anything its astounding #they have raging victim complex #toxic parents #estranged parents #a lot of y'all gen xers who decided to breed are bad people and utterly lousy spouses and parents. period.

[house-of-crows]

So come and meet me again-

In a new light In a new guise In a new, and aching form

Stagnation is anathema, thus-

I have no heart to care, For the many tears you claim to weep Over an empty seat Filled to the edges with dust That was never shaped to fit what I became-

Show me a permanent state of self And I will show you what it is To die, alone, Caught between the cracks, upon the verge of Becoming

Tell me how you love me, Show me the works of your hands All that was done by name and word and deed-

And in return, thus,

"Truly I say to you, you never knew me."

-They called it love

#greywalker problems #poetry #family #estranged parents #prodigal child #tw catholicism #relationships #spilled ink #words i never said #words from a book I'll never write

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

Anyone have trouble loving their parents

I always have had a hard time loving my parents and at times I’ve felt like a monster or sociopath. When they tell me “I love you” I of course respond with “love you too” but it feels empty. I often struggle with communication but some of it comes down to trust issues. How do I know I can really trust you? You can claim “you can tell me anything” or “I’ll support you no matter what” and it just feels empty. Maybe because I remember all the times you yelled until I broke down crying and called it tough love. You can claim to validate my feelings while getting pissed off if something I say accidentally comes out wrong and shout “don’t give me attitude”. Am I not allowed to be angry? Do you really value what I think or do you just want to change my perspective to yours? No, I don’t want to go to Florida, ever! I’m happy you got that job, but I don’t feel safe or comfortable there. Especially since I’m questioning my gender identity and I’ve heard the stuff you’ve said about trans athletes. You can claim to be supportive all you want, but again how can I trust you? You praise my autism when I am acting quirky, but then humiliate me about my struggles with social awareness when I make a small mistake and force me to play with kids I don’t even like to make me feel “included” when I just want to read about dinosaurs. Am I wrong for feeling any of this?

Edit: I think some of these feelings come from being a transracial adoptee as well. I may have some trauma that I don’t even know about. As I do relate to some of the symptoms.

#actually autistic #autism #vent post #neurodivergent #estranged parents #adoptee #transracial adoptee

[earthlydispleasures]

If u ever feel bad abt not having a good or stable relationship w yr mother just know I defensively called my mom "bro" w my whole ass chest the last time we fought

#she said and i quote “im not one of your little friends on the street dont call me bro” 💀 #it took everything in me to not crack tf up even though we were in the middle of a rly heated argument idk why that was so funny to me 😭 #imagine saying that shit to ur 27 y/o daughter who hasnt even lived w u for 5+ years and doesnt rely on u for anything 😭 #shit was so randomly outta pocket lmfaooo #thoughts #estranged parents #estranged mother #narcissistic parents #narcissistic mother #narcissisticrecovery

[pastagoatfeverdream]

Hi yes, more on my fishboi. I’ve been thinking about Lierin’s parents while flushing out his backstory and I had to sketch them. I also wanted to doodle him before he underwent his Simic transformation.

So, he comes from a well-to-do military family who was very proud of him until he decided to undertake his Simic path within the military. They told him he absolutely had to continue their bloodline ((Simic’s are sterile in our setting. Or maybe in general idk)) and vehemently disapproved. He argued that his becoming a great general and a high ranking member of the Simic’s Hand would leave a historical legacy that would outlast and be more reliable than offspring. They disagreed and told him that if he did this, he would no longer be their son. He did his thing anyway, assuming they were bluffing and would come around once it was done. They weren’t. They did not. There was a lot of bitterness in his heart about it for a while but after the main *incident* of his backstory he barely thinks about them any more. They just sort of became background noise to his entire former home, which ended up treating him the same way. Anyway….. I have more but that’s enough. -w-

#dnd character #dnd oc #dungeons and dragons #dnd art #character art #original character #oc art #blorbo #simic hybrid #high elf #estranged parents #fishboi #my poor boy he really needs to catch a break

[dongulator]

#estranged parents

[clara-maybe-ontheroad]

My dad just made a suggestion for a trip that I could take with my girlfriend that would be a good fit for both of us since we're long distance.

And I kinda want to cry.

My very Catholic dad, who I was estranged from for years because we generally couldn't communicate and I couldn't be myself around him, who couldn't look me in the eyes when the conversation came to my sexual orientation, who only 8 months ago when we first resumed contact couldn't pronounce the name of my girlfriend and who was visibly uncomfortable at the thought of me being with a woman.

He's been slowly more curious about her, and now he's asking when I am seeing her next and enthusiastically suggesting destinations I could go to with her.

It's never going to be perfect between us, but I feel good tonight.

So here is a little bit of hope sent in the universe to whoever needs it.

#lgbtq #estranged parents #acceptance #small victories #coming out #wlw

[deanwax]

hands up if you were a kid cautioned by older family members that all that screentime would warp your brain and the internet would recruit you into some kind of dangerous child molester cult, only to have those same family members now be absolutely brainrotted by crusty bigot alt-right conspiracy forums

#irony #estranged parents #family issues #going no contact with my father was the start of my healing

[nothing0fnothing]

It's so wild to me that in every estranged parents thread, forum and post network I've infiltrated in the last few weeks, not one poster has expressed guilt.

I've been looking into this topic for my estranged parents series, and I went into it expected to see a lot of carefully crafted posts designed to extract optimum sympathy. It wasn't like that at all. These people are a mess. They're not sure if they're the victim or the victor. They contradict each other and themselves constantly, sometimes in the same post, and they encourage the most truly unhinged behaviour between themselves. They know their primary audience is other people like them, and christ do they like to wallow in it.

Not one has said "I caused the rift in my family and I don't know how to fix it." Not one has said "my actions have pushed away someone I love and I'm heartbroken I've burned through all my second chances." Not one has said "I fucked up and them going no contact with me was understandable."

You know what they do say? "I'm the victim of my child's cruelty." "This came out of nowhere I have no idea what I did wrong." "My child has been influenced by their scumbag no good partner, none of this is my fault."

And surely, there's no way they actually beleive that.. Right?

Let's be clear. Kids don't disown themselves for no reason. Adult children don't randomly decide "yanno, ma missed that one baseball game when I was 12 so I guess she can miss out on being a grandmother to my own children." It's consistent, it's repeatedly acknowledged in an attempt to make it work, and eventually it is painful and confusing to eventually come to the realisation "I can't take this abuse into the rest of my life."

And I'm not without sympathy for estranged parents. Most of them were abused themselves and played the role of the dutiful offspring to their abusive parent till their deaths. It must be hard to realise your child is doing what you never could. It must be difficult to reckon with the fact that you were never owed your children's undying devotion, just like your parents were never owed yours.

But they do know what they've done, and they do know their own behaviour is to blame and they are aware that before they could be personally victimised by no contact, they had to consistently victimise their children first.

My estranged parents series is dropping soon.

#estranged parents #parental abuse #complex trauma #no contact #dysfunctional family #estrangement #narcissistic abuse

[tuhfenuf]

And I’m crying bout how it’s not fair

You’re shouting about the power you never had but didn’t want to share

And now I’m mourning someone who never died

A life I’ve never even got to try

A pair of parents who are fine

Just fine

With a self orphaned child

#old drafts that will never turn into anything #writing #writer #poet #poem #estranged parents

[house-rat]

A Day in the Life of an Estranged Child of Abusive Parents:

Getting a text out of the blue from a new number saying, among other things, “if you return to us, we will forgive you”.

#fuck you fuck you fuck you #i don’t need your forgiveness and you’re absolutely not getting mine #leave me alone #i haven’t so much as texted you in a year what kind of obsessed disgustingness is it to fill my inbox with your messages #you are having a one-sided conversation with yourself just like every other conversation we’ve ever had #because you always dominated everything #well i refuse to participate any longer #bye bitch #estranged parents #childhood trauma #cptsd #abusive parents #house-rat

[burbs-are-fake]

You salted my earth and sowed fear into the place love was supposed to bloom. The damage was virulent. My growth stagnant. 

Eventually I had to set it all ablaze and start over. From the ashes, came new life. New love. I tended my own garden and reaped it's abundant rewards.

Where you were harsh, I was tender. 

Where you created pain, I nurtured. 

Where you were putrid, I was soothing. 

And so, under my own care, I am finally flourishing. My roots growing deep, feeding off nutrients that did not exist previously. My leaves unfurling, broad and green, basking in the sun that was not accessible before. My trunk becoming sturdy from the structure I created for myself.  

As I develop, the lesions of your neglect become less obvious. Mortal wounds evolving to be whispers of scars. New growth proliferating and masking what was once bare and empty. 

I'm alive, at long last.

#online diary #journal entry #3 #unsent letters #estranged parents

[pizzacrustdisposal]

To everyone currently ignoring a family member who is still trying to connect with you: radio silence means COMPLETE silence. They don’t deserve you. Ignore the gifts and the texts and the cards. I believe in you.

(ok to reblog)

#brought to you by my annoying father #he actually got me a very thoughtful gift and I almost thanked him #but I haven’t spoken to him in 2 years and I’m not breaking my streak. #familial trauma #estranged parents #pizzacrustdisposal