#first book about witchcraft and paganism i ever read

[booksandwitchery]

[Wiccans] are the arbiters of their own ethics; they have the responsibility and the power to choose their actions based on their own ideals rather than on rules imposed by someone else. . .Wicca is not about being comfortable all the time. It is about directing the course of your own life." - Thea Sabin, Wicca for Beginners

#not wiccan just love this quote #first book about witchcraft and paganism i ever read #changed my life #thea sabin #paganism #witchcraft #witch #just witchy things #pagan #neopaganism #witches of tumblr #secular witchcraft #witchblr #witches #magick #nature worship #magic

[hiswitchcraft]

I see a lot of beginner tips on the internet that seem to be for people who have already gotten started, how about some tips from someone who has no idea where to start at all?

Tips for Witches Who Haven’t Even Started Yet

Heads up this guide will be designed assuming someone has learned modern witches are a thing, is interested and maybe wants to be one, but has done none or very little research.  First let’s go ahead and get rid of some COMMON misconceptions people come into my DMs with when they’ve barely begun... 

There are all things you do not have to do to be a witch: 

Do evil things or be a “satan worshiper” 

Be a specific religion, because witchcraft is not a religion

Work with deities or spirits of any kind 

Be a woman, witch is a gender neutral term

Be Wiccan or Pagan

Pick a witch type 

Spend a lot of money 

Be in a coven or know other witches 

Have a big or pretty altar, grimoire, ect 

Have tarot cards or any tools for your practice gifted to you

One final disclaimer Another thing to go into your research with that you may not know if you’re just starting at the very beginning is that there are many paths, practices, belief systems, ect besides the eclectic form of witchcraft I teach here and that you will commonly see presented online. I feel a lot of people may benefit from a more structured, or different path. Keep an open mind. You might come across something more fitting.  So if the above is all false, are there any rules? The only rules I ever push around here are have an understanding of what you’re doing and its consequences, and do not appropriate from closed practices!  Okay, so I read all of the above, now what? If you don’t know where to start at all? Research. Research is always where you should start. That sounds overwhelming and may be something you’ve already seen a few times but it could be as simple as a google search to start and I will be here to make it as simple as possible with this guide. Also as usual my DMs are always open if you have questions. 

Onto how to do that research...  First here is a google doc full of links I’ve compiled that may give you somewhere to start! With that, here are some suggestions for what to research. 

Follow your interests For someone who has just begun I would highly suggest following your interests. What I mean by that is if anything interests you, keep googling, try Youtube maybe, check if your library has books on it, ect. Take notes on what it is, why it interests you and what you find. There are tons of practices and subjects witches study so just keep learning at your own pace and incorporating what works.

If you need somewhere to start, here’s some general topics I’d suggest:

Types of magical/Pagan practices

Cleansing

Charging

Grounding

Warding

Banishing & binding

Divination types

Tools & ingredients

Closed practices

If you’re stuck hopefully doing some searching on the above topics will get you down a rabbit hole of interest. Below is also a bunch of info on how to do GOOD research. Doing good research is very important to me. 

Research tips  Think critically and ask yourself questions like this while researching: 

What are the qualifications, motives and biases of the person giving me this information?

Who recommended this source?

Is anything they're implying or advising here a threat to my or someone else's safety or health? Do I know that this suggestion is safe? 

Does this line up with other things I know to be true? Like science, other factors about witchcraft, your beliefs, ect. Beliefs won't dictate fact but often in witchcraft personal belief is the only thing that will sway you towards one answer or another.

Does it make sense? Like logically does it make sense to you? Why? Just ask yourself why. Ask them why. Ask them for sources or an explanation.

Have I seen someone say this before? How often? Apply the above questions to that source or sources as well.

Here are all my other general research tips: 

Take time to take things with a grain of salt. Try not to categorize them as right or wrong until you're absolutely sure.

Cross reference everything you find. The answer you see the most is likely right. 

Understand that many things are up to personal belief and for many questions the answer will be "Depends on the witch." Both answers might be correct. This path is yours and often you have to dictate how things will work. 

Check out your local library.

Use books that aren't marketed as being about witchcraft or the occult. Folklore, local flora and fauna, nature, botany, gardening, foraging, geology, these are all useful subjects. 

Ask real, experienced witches. Do not rely on them as your soul mentor and ideally and contact multiple witches or groups, but do ask.

Don't worry about making a fancy grimoire or book of shadows or having all the correspondences in the world written out. That's the least of your worries, take notes on the essentials and things that interest you personally. Some things to include are the subject, date & source of what you're reading.  

Take notes, here’s how I mentioned note taking in there and I definitely have more to say on that! A lot of the time people get overwhelmed before they’ve even done anything remotely “witchy” because they feel like they need to have a big fancy grimoire. This is not the case. You can make a google doc or shove a bunch of notes in a binder. This tip has helped a LOT of people including me. I do strongly suggest taking notes, but take them your way. 

General Tips And finally here are some general tips to reference or keep in mind as you research and maybe start practicing witchcraft.

Don’t believe everything you hear and take information with a grain of salt. Most things to do with witchcraft depend on the witch. 

Lots of witchcraft supplies can be found or made. It doesn’t have to be expensive.

You can find supplies at mundane places, the dollar store, craft store, library, ect. 

Follow your intuition! One of the most important things here. To be a good witch and form a solid, personal path you have to know and be able to tune into yourself. 

Experiment! Try different things. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t. 

When you don’t know what to do, return to the basics. Whatever that means for you. Cleansing, warding, your deities, ect. 

If you feel overwhelmed, start with just one topic or two! You don’t need to take in witchcraft as a whole right away. Same goes for if you return from a break from the craft. 

Finally remember that you are always welcome to DM me for any reason with any question or concern throughout your research and practice! After my hiatus I’ve learned helping you guys one on one is my favorite thing, so remember I’m always here 💕 

#his posts #asks #anons #info #new witch #where to start #research #resources #witchcraft #witches #witchblr #witchy #witches of tumblr #magick #occult #baby witch #beginner witch

[creature-wizard]

I was part of ( and abused by ) Scarletarosa's mini cult.

Important note! If you've ever been told by her you were sharing a family bond or any close important relationship in a past life, that's her tactic trough which she gets close to you! She has done this to 3 people as far as I remember

My aim here is not to attack anyone, but to spread my story, as others can learn from my mistakes and keep themselves safe. I considered this person a close friend and truly cared about her when she shared some of her own struggles , yet for her I was nothing but a dumb person to trick , use and fool.

I started to become closer to this person after I went trough the pagan / witchy tumblr tags. We first just exchanged some asks and messages, nothing much.

After she did a free reading for me ,she offered herself to be my mentor and use her "wide experience " to help me find out more about witchcraft, meditation, deity worship and all of this.

At first this seemed nothing too strange or much different from what other people who post their upg were saying. We were mostly having light discussions. I truly considered her to be friend and cared about her. Nothing serious happened until she introduced me to her partner ( after she probably thought she has gained my trust). After that she started to become more and more strict and serious about shaping my beliefs and inner self, to evolve and other bull crap like that.

They ghosted me for a few months and never replied back and I started to find this weird, because she was usually responding right back and was most of the times online. At this point I started to get suspicious because I also started to do some research into new age beliefs and all the weird conspiracy- culty stuff, and I found similarities between scarletarosa's ideologies and those believed by new agers, hers were only adjusted a bit to fit her Luciferian perspective.

I have no idea if they do this because they want to get people to give them money for whatever shit they sell, or they genuinely like to hurt people. Back to the story, out of a sudden, after that huge amount of time we haven't spoken,  they were eager to help me more and give me " past life readings " , which I found to be odd.

As doubts were piling up, I decided to test  them. I started by telling them I did past life regression meditation and saw parts of that life which they " confirmed " to be true, or that I did tarot readings about it.

The stories they were telling me started to sound wilder and wilder .

A lot of red flags were appearing on the horizon, one of them being told that they actually didn't tell me the whole " truth" about my higher self, and that the meditation I was told to do daily has to be done everyday, 1 day skipped and you go back to the beginning of the process because the connection with your higher self is lost. This meditation, well is crap as well. Scarletarosa said it's purpose is to connect you with your higher self who is located in between the chest and abdomen. This is a concept you will never encounter in any spiritual book or material. No one , as far as I researched, talks about this. I obviously didn't do the meditation daily because I only meditate when I feel like I need to, and after so many months of talking to each other she tells me i " failed " awakening because I wasn't consistent. At this point I started my own meditation practice without any higher core self bullshit. I started to play along and test them with more scenarios related to the connection I supposedly have with my higher self and they believed me.

I caught her in another lie when I left her an ambiguous message to which she said that I actually did the meditation correctly. Right after I revealed I actually skipped my meditation on purpose, and she got mad.

Another red flag was the fact that a person who was with me in the group chat, suddenly left and I couldn't reach her anywhere. I wasn't sure for how long I should play along and shortly after that I left them too, the last straw for me being how scarletarosa was set I making me to hate and despite trans people, and people who use different pronouns.

I left in a peaceful way , by telling them this version of me I can see I'm becoming is not the real me. I'm not hateful, I don't hate people, I don't want to fill my mind and heart with disgust and vengeance towards people. In the end I will say that both scarletarosa and her partner are skilled in the art of manipulation , emotional manipulation to be more exact. They will use everything you give them ,against you; your fears , doubts, dreams, what you hate, what you love, your traumas EVERYTHING! Then if you want to leave they pull the " after everything we've done for you " uno card.

They will try to make you transform into the worst of yourself and be ... like them.

They are extremely skilled at what they do and this behaviour is encompassed in the sphere of abuse and tactics abusers use:

- they will tell you a story about how great you used to be as a spirit in the metaphysical realm and make you chase a spiritual awakening so you can regain that "greater form " back and free yourself from your meat suit once an for all. BUT you will only reach that " high level " if you do what they say.

- they make you feel special ( example: telling you your higher self is a great demon, a deity or a wise dragon) - they will tell you what to do but not entirely. They'll withhold information and say that " you weren't ready to find out " yet, or that you failed to check all the boxes when doing the meditation or whatever they suggested, and oppsie you should  have known,  we didn't tell you but it was OBVIOUS. This for sure would make you feel bad and work even harder to achieve that thing, while this buys them more time to make up a new lie  because whatever they tell you to do is total crap and you won't achieve anything.

- they tell people to not talk about what they teach you to others because this information is not for everyone - they didn't let me talk with the other person in the chat about what they " teach us" because they want to be the ones to tell us " the news" first. Obviously they would be caught lying if I was to talk with the other person.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope no one else has to fall into this kind of situation in the future.

#scarletarosa #cult #cult behavior #spiritual abuse #religious abuse #cult survivor story #red flag #red flags #spiritual red flags #spiritual red flag

[hestiashearthfire]

What is devotional Hellenic Polytheism?

When I first began my journey into paganism and other non-Abrahamic religions, I like many people, was enamored with magic. For a short while, I considered myself a Wiccan. I kept a small altar, prayed to the God and Goddess, and tried to observe the Wiccan Sabbats. I tried my hand at spells, potions, and divination, working as hard as I could to feel the energies around me in ritual. After a few months of half-hearted practice, I decided Wicca wasn’t my path. It just didn’t feel right.

And that was fine, I thought. Maybe traditional Wicca wasn’t my speed. I was still hooked on magic, so I jumped into traditional witchcraft with both feet, reading every book I could get my hands on. I continued to learn more about tarot, spirits, herbal magic, poppets—whatever obscure topic struck me at the time. I was gathering information, cultivating knowledge until hopefully, something would stick. Looking back, I can see how lost I was. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I was searching in vain for some ideal, “perfect” pagan path to follow. Having been raised Christian, I had very little experience with faiths outside the Abrahamic sphere. I did know quite a few pagans, however, and all of them practiced witchcraft. Growing up, I loved myths, magic, and fairytales. Naturally, I thought, why wouldn’t I like magic?

I did like magic. I found magical theory and systems of magic were fascinating to study. But actually practicing magic? The “magic” of magic always vanished, and I was left feeling empty, lonely, and drifting. Sure, practicing ritual always felt a bit silly, but it was more than a matter of acclimating. I was despondent. I had, after much thought and struggle, left the Church. For many, religion is a source of hurt; the Church breaks apart what it should hold together, and severs the ties it should bind. I am forever thankful that was not true for me. For me, the Church was home. The Church was family, safety, acceptance, love, and so many things I hadn’t been able to find. Still, as my ideologies changed, I felt I couldn’t stay. The Church and I parted on good terms; I didn’t want to leave, but I knew I needed to. Leaving hurt. I lost the sense of belonging and community the Church had provided, and I missed the comforting constancy of daily prayer.

I missed prayer. I missed that kind of ritual. Not performing a spell, not seeking a result, not seeing ritual as utility, but as a relationship. I was sure the universe was still singing, but adrift as I was, I had forgotten how to listen. I don’t remember how I discovered Hellenic Polytheism, but I do remember feeling so utterly content the first time I poured out a libation to Hestia. There we were, neither demanding anything of the other, just basking in the presence of the Gods. The first spark of our kharis caught fire, and I felt, for the first time since I left the Church, the presence of the divine.

Devotional Polytheism is just that—devotional. After several years as a practicing Hellenic Polytheist, I now know that I do not need magic to be pagan. Religious devotion through offerings and observances is enough for me. I’m content simply worshipping my Gods and building a relationship with them. Perhaps it’s a symptom of my Christian roots, but I still enjoy worship of something greater than myself. Nowadays that something is quite different, but I continue to pray. Magic is wonderful, but it isn’t for everyone, and Wicca is, by all rights, its own religion with its own practices and beliefs.

I don’t want to “work with,” but worship my Gods. I want to rely on them, trust them, pray to them, have faith in them. I found my path. I know the Gods are with me. For that, may they ever be praised.

#hellenic devotion #hellenic reconstructionism #hellenic pagan #hellenic polytheism #hellenic polytheistic #pagan #prayer #greek pantheon #hellenic gods #hellenic paganism #helpol #hellenic worship #greek polytheism #theology #greek gods #theoi

[growing-yet-into-magic]

The Book of Spells by Ella Harrison (150 magickal ways to achieve your heart's desire)

Procrastinated on reading a new metaphys book by opening an easier one. Hah! Take that, executive dysfunction!

This book seems to try to strike the balance between a beginner's read and a reference book, which...is a hard balance to strike. It starts off with sections like "What is a spell?" and "Who can perform them?" and "How do spells work?", all things I would expect from a 101 book and not a reference book, which I would have assumed this book would be from the title and tagline. It then goes into "How to make an altar", a section which is almost too fat and in-depth compared to the assumed familiarity level of the earlier sections, and then... Runework and Sigils? There's a hodgepodge of different things sort of all mushed together in this book, all on different spots on the spectrum of the reader's familiarity with witchcraft, all different strains of modern witchcraft and pagan/pagan-associated practices. Such as:

Runes! (Seiðr, presumably)

Sigils! (Chaos magic)

Floor washes! (Hoodoo/other ATRs)

Consistent rhyming in spellwork! (Wicca)

"So mote it be!" (Wicca)

Shadow work! (Jungian psych/New Age)

Black Salt! (Hoodoo/ATRs)

the K in magick (Crowley/Crowley's cronies)

And, presumably, there's other stuff I didn't spot in the process of reading this book. Listen. It was 11pm. I was tired. I was over it.

So keep this all in mind when I say that in general, overall... It's certainly not the most racist book I've ever read. I don't think it'd hit the top 30. There's a section in the book about how to prevent cultural appropriation in your craft and other ways to keep your craft ethical. That's a new trend in 101 books! That's a positive! But notice how, with such a hodgepodge of sources when it came to the spells, there's still a slippage when it comes to widely-appropriated parts of ATRs, because they are so widely associated with witchcraft that most people find them indistinguishable from the rest of modern practice. I'm giving it an 8/10 on the racism. The author made the effort, and I didn't see any overtly racist statements in the book like I occasionally might from older books.

The book, however... Listen. I don't think there are enough spells in here to be a good reference book, and I don't think it goes in depth enough into the 101 stuff to be a good beginning book. It's not a good intermediate book because it assumes you know absolutely nothing, and yet it still overloads you with way more stuff than you would need or want without going in depth enough to give you enough to make them... Meaningful, I want to say. Everything feels a touch superficial.

I do like how the spells are formatted within the book, though.

Title

Tools, ingredients.

Description of spell

Incantation

Instructions on completing the spell

[Best time to perform this spell/Any necessary notes]

It makes the entries really easy to read and simple to browse when you need to decide which spell to utilize. The font isn't ridiculous and there's no aesthetic colors which detract from focus or readability. The illustrations are nice and add, not detract, from the book's contents.

Overall, this isn't an outstanding book, but it's not something I would dissuade people from reading. It's fine. If this was your first book, I wouldn't pry it out of your hands and sobs. It would give you a squat foundation you could build upon, and spells you could feasibly try at home.

If you wanted a real reference book to compare this to, I would recommend one of the Judika Illes tomes. They're certainly not better in the cultural appropriation department, but they also don't really expect you might use every one of the spells in the book, either. It's for reference, not teaching. Once you hold this little thing of 150 spells and then the massive book of 5,000 spells...hoo boy. You'll never compare them again, haha.

Overall? I'll give this a 7/10. Inoffensive, new, and probably worth a checkout or two at your local library.

Blessings! oh gods I forgot I have a ko-fi to link lmao

#growing-yet #books #witch books #witchcraft #witchblr #spellwork #guess who has their librarianship degree now suckers

[the-trans-folk-witch]

An untimely intro: Numb and hollow

Howdy folks!👋

This “blog” or cringey tumblr page is a battle cry at best- maybe a cry for help at worst. A plague of words ensues…

Grammar, punctuation and clever wording misses me despite being educated on writing formal statements/grants at a postgraduate level 🤡. Enjoy the occasional plot twist, gobsmack, misplaced comma, and tone-deaf emoji use. This “blog” is a mix of occult texts, free books, zines, and works made by me and others. It is a crossroads of formalities and comedic slander. And the occasional look into my thoughts.

I’m sure anyone reading this already knows me from Instagram and my now late podcast of the same name as this blog. So I won’t waste your time reintroducing myself and my goals. You know my brand, and roughly, my views despite how they may have changed since we last spoke. My goal here is to write more and slowly ease into the release of my first book and my second zine. I want to relive my edgy tumblr days with a more anarchistic approach than before. I invite you to join me. maybe this will help me learn how to avoid run-on sentences… or what fonts the public will judge me for using. (Comic sans girlies rise up). Perhaps I’ll learn to use parentheses and dashes correctly for once. Time will tell.

Now that I’ve fed you an over-cooked appetizer, let’s move on to the meat of the discussion. This is an update on my writings of the Guardian Angel and the other texts I have been forming. It has been a year in the making and hopefully I will be done with it this summer. It will not be long. It is a free book styled to appear as a cheesy church pamphlet. It is UPG laced with the some dogma from the Catholic church and the occasional hint of Protestant revivalist churches from the hills. I plan to reinvigorate the use or relation to the Holy Guardian Angel (HGA) in a roundabout way that incapsulates my own practice while leaving room for yours. I want it to be used as a guide, But not as a Bible. Hopefully it will come across as well as I intend for it to. It has been harder than I imagined.

Now for the long term plans for this blog. As of now, my podcast is on hold. So consider this it’s child despite the difference between my written voice and my informal speaking voice. The podcast is canned. Possibly forever. I may come back to it. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe years from now. I’m sure you all caught onto that. I have removed most every episode. The only ones available are ones that I had friends guest star in. Thank you to all of you who helped me become who I am today in this community. Even though as of now my following is only 500-600 people, it’s bigger than I’ve ever been anywhere before. I’m rather private. In fact that’s why I’ve removed most of my podcast. As many have been told, I have been receiving a lot of hateful messages from terfs and neo-pagans. Topics such as transphobia and anti-folk-catholic shit has taken over my inbox on many platforms. However, this is not the only reason I’m stepping back from my podcast. I recently graduated from school and I am working on my career. I have decided to make myself less accessible to the public for my mental health but also to focus on privatizing my practice. I want to revolutionize my followers and to have proper discussions surrounding witchcraft that make people uncomfortable. I want an interaction that my podcast could not allow. I want to write in lengths and words that Instagram does not allow. I feel as though I’ve lost my voice since my early college days when I wrote daily. I hope to strengthen my bonds with those I’ve met online while closing myself off to those who I do not trust. Making a public blog is not the way to go about that I’m aware. But who uses tumblr? 😂. This is a starting place. I may one day put a price tag on my writing. Definitely for my other books and zines I have been working on this past year. But until then, enjoy my ramblings.

Dialogue is always welcome. Oh, and don’t make a fumblr account just for me. My blog is accessible on a browser without a log in. I’m not chasing likes. I’m just typing into the void.

The trans folk witch, out ✌️ 💋.

#traditional witchcraft #folk witchcraft #folk catholicism #transgender witches #ozark magic #big tiddy gf #esoteric bimbo

[breelandwalker]

Hello Bree,

First I want to say I absolutely love your podcast! It's so informative and inspiring. I really liked the episodes you did with Lozzie on King James I almost died laughing several times while listening and still can't get over the godliest godly boy to ever godly lol. I really enjoyed the episode on witching with ADHD too. It was super helpful and made me feel better about being a neurodivergent witch that also often forgets things and never remembers holidays or moon phases 😂. I really love how you research the historical aspect of witchcraft and how you recommend practical research along side of magical research.

Ok l'II stop gushing for now. So my question is probably a really long shot but I thought if anyone could help it would be you.

I'm looking for a book that I found probably around 2002 to 2003 when I first found out that people actually practiced witchcraft. I found it at my local library and I haven't ever been able to find it again. I unfortunately do not remember the title or author, but I do remember that it was a small white book and I think it had a tree on the cover. There was a spell in there to make a lucky coin and the components of the spell were a coin with your birth year and orange peel and you basically glued or tied the orange peel to the coin and probably charged it or something I don't remember the rest just that it was a coin and orange peel. I honestly don't remember anything else about the book lol. I think it might have been more Wiccan leaning but l'm not sure. I did start off with more traditional Wiccan stuff so it might have been what lead me into that. This was the first "spell" that I ever did and I just remember the wonderful feeling of finding this book and then subsequently getting in trouble with my parents for having this book in the house lol. I carried that coin around with me everywhere for ages. I just really wanted to find it because it is sentimental and thought maybe you might have ran across it in your studies.

Also I can not wait until I can get my hands on all of your books. Much like everyone else I wish they had been around when I first started.

Thank you for everything and congratulations on the new house!

~Nessa ❤️

Oof, good question! I'm not sure what book that might be. Without a title or author, it's hard to say. Plus cover art often changes when a new printing or new edition of a book comes out.

I know there's an older edition of Robert Graves' fictional novel "The White Goddess" with a white cover and an oak branch on it, but that's hardly a source of good information, despite the heavy influence it has had on Wicca and modern witchcraft by extension. (Also I'm not sure if there's any reference to a lucky coin spell in the pages, as I haven't read it.)

It could be any number of Llewellyn or Full Moon titles from the 1990s, those being the most prolific publishers of witchcraft and pagan literature at the time. (And still today, to some degree.) Maybe see if you can comb through their archives and see if any of the covers or titles ring a bell?

Anyone recognize the description of this book?

(PS Thank you for tuning in!!!!!)

#ghoulishlycute #witchcraft #witchblr #book recs #Bree answers your inquiries

[pinkdreamblossom]

I've always been drawn to spirituality and metaphysics. It seems to be inherited from both of my parents.

My mom used to (actually I'm sure she still does) listen to Coast to Coast AM every night to lull her to sleep. I was scared of the dark and a lot of other things as a child so I slept in her bed a lot. I have no idea how she falls asleep listening to that show. I would be either intrigued or terrified as George Noory and his guests would talk about things such as aliens, ghosts, and pyramids.

She also used to take me on walks and point out which wild plants and flowers could be eaten or made into tea, and we'd enjoy a bite together.

I remember she had this huge book that was about astrology. I loved to bring it out during sleepovers so we could all read about our signs and gasp at how accurate it could be.

She also taught me how to pray the rosary.

My parents split up during my early years, and it wasn't long before my dad had this new girlfriend who was an old highschool sweet heart. She became an inspiration to me. I received some books from her; The Way of the Peaceful Warrior and The Ringing Cedar Series. Reading these through 8th and 9th grade opened the door to spiritual practices that forever changed my life, and I felt a potent calling from nature. I began meditating and seeking "enlightenment". I was even gifted a pointed quartz crystal (which mysteriously disappeared) by my aunt who practiced reiki. I had no idea the significance of crystals or how reiki was suppose to work at the time.

It wasn't until I was around the age of 18 that I made the connection to what I believed with witchcraft and paganism. Once I did, I took a visit to Pyewackets, the local witch shop, and purchased my first tarot deck. Along with that, I scoured the local thrift shops and managed to find a Silver Ravenwolf.

Let's fast forward a few years. I got deep into it. The forest was my church and the Fae eventually became my guides. For years I was learning and diving deep into the otherworld. I dove so deep I began to feel like I was drowning. Chaos and isolation started to wreak havoc on my well being. It wasn't just developing my practice anymore; it became escapism and there was no firm ground to stand on.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Jesus showed himself to me. My world flipped upside down. I felt like I could breathe again and I had firm footing and a good foundation. I decided anything remotely pagan would have to go. I even stopped studying herbalism because I associated it with witchcraft to heavily to stomach it. Legalism started to creep around me.

I eventually broke loose from the evangelical, protestant worldview as my desire to work with the elements and nature grew within me again.

I decided that suppressing my natural and inherited inclination towards a mystic outlook wasn't healthy, just as it's unhealthy to suppress your sexuality.

Yesterday, a ritual bath took place that was an initiation back into my pagan ways, guided by God.

I feel more connected to my spirituality then ever before. I'm so blessed and I hope others who experience a conflict between Christianity and Paganism can embrace themselves as who they are just as Jesus would. I know I won't always be accepted for this, and I know it will be hard at times. But I've never been truer to myself until now and no one can take that away from me.

I'm back, witches.

#ritual bath #christopagan #ancestral magic #folk magic #christianity #witchcraft #paganism #initiation #christian witch #witchblr #jesus is king #an act of love toward another is an offering to God

[bonerismsblog]

Hi all!!! My name is Stella, and here’s my icebreaker post!!!

What country are you from?

I’m from the United States.

Age?

I’m 18!!!

Pronouns? (He,her, them etc)

She/her please.

Tell us how you first became interested in paganism and witchcraft

Well I don’t remember much of this as I was a young child (about 9) and I was raised southern Baptist but the religion never really “fit” with me. I remember one day I don’t remember exactly how but I came across the concept of Wicca (I now identify as pagan not Wiccan but this is how I got my start) and learned that it was not about worshipping Satan as my church had told me (although if you do worship satan that’s cool too lmao) but it was actually about nature and the energy of the universe. I was so fascinated by it that I spent hours reading about it and then browsing a witchcraft supply store. I then found out that there was a Wiccan store near where I lived and I begged my mom to go and surprisingly she agreed. I bought a fairy wish spell jar and have been interested in witchcraft ever since.

What astrology sign are you?

A Taurus!!

What is your personality like?

Ummmm I’m not really sure lol. I would describe myself as anxious and occasionally funny.

What is your favourite colour?

Pink!!!

What is your path like?

I would describe myself as an eclectic pagan.

How long have you been practicing?

Consistently about 4 years!!

Any pet peeves?

When I don’t have weird ingredients I need for spells. Like one time I needed anthill dirt for a money spell and it said specifically that there was no substitute for anthill dirt and I was like who the heck just has that laying around and so I went out and I was like well time to get bit by ants for some dirt I guess lmao.

Are you a solitary witch?

Yes but I’d like to join a coven someday.

What are you interested in?

Right now I’m very into tarot.

What skills do you possess?

I consider myself pretty good with herbal magick and herbal remedies.

Do you have any hobbies?

I like art, video games, anime and animals.

What would you like to learn more about?

Mostly I would like to learn more a couple specific deity’s that I feel are calling to me but I don’t really know how to work with.

Do you work with a deity?(deities)

I work mainly with Artemis and Freya.

Favorite Witchy show, movie, etc

Owl house!!! (If that counts lol)

A book you'd like to recommend

Solitary witch by silver ravenwolf and a witches bible by Janet and Stuart Farrar.

It’s so nice to meet you all!!!!

#icebreaker #wicca #witchcraft #pagan #eclectic wicca #pagan wicca #wiccablr #wiccan #pagan witch #pagans of tumblr #paganblr #paganism #pagan blog #pagan community #witch community #witchblr

[cryptcreechur]

How do you learn how to be witch?

i just received a message from somebody looking to become a witch, but didnt know how or where to get started.

fear not, witchling! i will help :]

first, allow me to direct you to a previous post i made:

this is a list of starting points for research as a baby witch. it is by no means exhaustive, but just the first step in a continuous journey :]

now, onto the juicy stuff: advice!

You Are Already A Witch

sounds unreal, right? every time you wish on that first star you see, or on birthday candles, or just in your mind when you see something really really cool, you perform a little bit of witchcraft. every time you throw salt over your shoulder to ward off bad luck, or hold on to a four leafed clover, or avoid stepping on the cracks on a sidewalk, you perform a little bit of witchcraft.

Witchcraft is Intent

witchcraft is intent is witchcraft. every spell rides on the intent of the caster - which means you dont need fancy crystals and herbs and expensive tools to be a practitioner. you just need yourself.

How Do I Get Started?

you research. learn about the history of witchcraft and what can be done with it. i plan on doing a little series about what witchcraft is and how to practice it, since one thing i struggled with as a beginner was how to get started. i still consider myself a beginner, but there are things i can teach others which i wish i had known first starting out.

All That Sounds Cool, But What Is Witchcraft?

it's simply a tool. it's honestly difficult to define, and what witchcraft is to every person is unique to that person. but to me, witchcraft is a tool to manipulate the world around me, to help bring about change. i use it to bring in money or prosperity, or to protect myself from negative entities or "bad vibes," or even just to boost my energy for the day. it doesnt have to be elaborate. i use it also in my religion - i incorporate my deities into my practice, calling on them for aid in spells. this is by no means necessary. witchcraft itself is not inherently religious.

Resources

these are my favorite youtube channels to go to for witchcraft and pagan advice and information. note that ill be adding heathen sources as well, as magick is a part of many heathens' practice, and many pagans as well. if you arent interested in that stuff, that's okay, dont ever feel forced or obliged to follow somebody's practice to a T.

ocean keltoi

the green witch

the oak witch

wind in the world tree

wolf the red

chaotic witch aunt

also, don't be afraid to check out the subreddits r/heathenry and r/witchcraft.

here is a google doc of my ever-growing book list - i have not yet gotten to read all of them, but if you have the time and means, definitely check them out.

Last Words

in the end, you really don't need to go through all that stuff in order to be a witch. learning as you go along is what it's all about, and most of the time, i throw things together based on intuition - based on the vibes of things, if it feels right or necessary. i dont always look up correspondences or recipes - i just act.

however, practices evolve. people change. the wheel of time moves ever onward and what is known today may change by tomorrow. that's okay. witchcraft is a journey that never ends, but takes you to see things you never would have otherwise.

thank you @baby-fireworks for asking me how to become a witch :]

#witchery #witchcraft #baby witch #magick #witch community #witches of tumblr #heathenry #pagan witch #witch tips #norse paganism #norse witch #norse pagan witch #traditional witchcraft #witchy

[brightgnosis]

Academia's Good to Study Witchcraft, But you Don’t Have To Only Academic

Mind you: When people ask "where do I start [to study witchcraft and Paganism]", and I advise to “Start with Academia first”, it does not mean “you have to read a billion academic books before you’re allowed to even remotely touch a mass marketed pagan book” (nor has it ever, and we’ve talked about that before).

Why? Because knowledge is built upon through time by repeated study and exposure to new information ... It’s not something you garner all at once. Which means that yes. It’s ok to start small even in Academia, and then build up.

What does that actually mean in practice, however? It means that even just reading 3 high quality academic titles ... Something like the two Oxford Encyclopedias of Witchcraft covering Europe and the Americas, plus one of Ronald Hutton’s books on Modern Witchcraft (all of which are quite easily available through the ILL system in most libraries, or are easily piratable) ... Is typically good enough to get you what you need to get started at bare minimum. You can always add more academic titles later as you go.

Though personally I really do suggest my whole recommended reading list for a reason.

The most important part is really just that you even have that Academic foundation of knowledge in the first place. Especially regarding important things such as the history of Witchcraft, the difference between historic Witchcraft and revival Witchcraft (what is practiced today), and its modern evolution through the last century+. That way you can better distinguish fact from fiction in the mainstream non-academic books you’re reading, and can also understand and contextualize the information being given to you.

Contrary to nay-sayers who would rather infantilize those just entering the craft rather than legitimately help them? Academia is not “too difficult for beginners to understand”. It just takes a little bit more effort than reading book after book after book of (ultimately incredibly hypersimplified) mass market garbage. And it really does go miles in helping you learn the craft properly- whatever path you wind up taking in the end.

This is an opinion piece based in 20+ years of experience. If you found this helpful or interesting, please consider Tipping or Leaving a Ko-Fi (being Disabled, even $1 helps); you can see my other "Original Content" here.

This account is run by a Dual Faith «(Converting) Masorti Jew + Traditional NeoWiccan» & «Ancestral Folk Magic Practitioner» with 20+ years of experience as a practicing Pagan and Witch. If that bothers you, don't interact.

#Old Blog Reposts #2022 #Original Content #Original Witchy Content #Wicca #Religion & Magic #NeoWicca #Paganism #Witchcraft #Magic #Witchblr #Paganblr #Wiccablr

[teawitch]

hello, im sorry if you've gotten questions like this before. im very new to witchcraft and paganism, and ive done a bit of reading in the last few months, but im still so uncertain on where to begin with practicing magic or anything. i feel like ive read so many different things, and theres so many needed tools, i just dont know what to do. do i start by drawing a circle? what tools are actually needed? thank you for your help and wisdom if you answer my question.

Here's a link to my basic Beginner Steps guide. Now it's a what to do" guide, not a how to do it lesson. Because I can't fit that much info into a tumblr post.

For the how to part - Christopher Penczak's Inner Temple of Witchcraft (meditation and energy work) and Outer Temple of Witchcraft (rituals and spells) are the best instructional books on techniques that I've found. People sometimes have trouble getting into them because they start a bit dry and Christopher really likes lists of things. But people who really follow the books and do the lessons can write their own spells and rituals when they finish the second book because they understand the why behind a lot of technique.

The second book also takes you through a series of quests for the common major tools. Which means for the first book, about all that's called for is a candle and perhaps some herbs. I've found this approach good way to look at tools. You don't really not what you need until you start building a practice and know what you need. (I know witches who read their first witchcraft books and ran out to get black-handled athames, They never use them because they don't like them. They just thought those were what they were supposed to buy.)

Get started and explore the tools gradually. For example, what you need for an athame can be vastly different depending on whether or not you ever plan on doing a "Drawing Down the Moon" ritual.

Best of luck!

#baby witch #witchcraft #witchblr #teawitch

[ghostofpolaris]

Check-In and Chat

So, I'll probably have more detailed parts of what I want to say under a cut here, but I felt this would be a nice little post to make about how I have been personally and maybe see what others who are like me have to say about some of the things on my brain. Especially because it seems like quite a few of you actually follow/interact with me for things involving witchcraft and paganism (which thank you for that). It may get a bit ranty and personal and mention things about mental health, mental illness, and medical issues so if you do not want to read, please feel free to skip and have a lovely day. This mainly will be ironic enough about those topics alongside paganism and witchcraft.

So, for those who have been following me for a while know I mainly just identify myself as a pagan and The Smorgasbord Witch thanks to @witchfulmarigold funny enough who came up with the joke first. While of course over time I have had pulls to Lucifer, Odin, Brigid and even Aphrodite and Ares at times, I still feel as though perhaps I am just missing something you know? I feel like since I have the energy for it for now (while it lasts), I could share stuff about myself and maybe it can give the people who speak to me some insight on my experiences and where I am coming from.

Ever since I was a child, I have had experiences with things that were not deemed "normal" by people. I could see and speak with spirits and beings people could not and could at one point see what I assumed to be auras around people. That seemed to all just nosedive and die after high school for me. I never was one who entirely wanted a label for myself, as I was never sure where exactly I belonged. Some of you may even know me (I would be amazed if you did) from my experience when I had my encounter with Eleanor who was a past life of mine. Thanks to her, she actually was a good part of why I left the Joy of Satan group as a teenager (yeah THAT was a long story and I mention it here in this post for those who want to read it) and my fear of Lucifer turned into a feeling of adoration and comfort.

I have had many doubts over my years as a witch and to be quite frank despite having over a decade's worth now (I would say about 11 or so years now?) of learning, I feel like I absolutely have gotten nowhere with myself. I feel like despite all of the information I have gathered in my time whether it is physical books or other books I have stored in a google drive (which anyone and everyone is welcome to if they want the link), I just still feel like I know nothing. I am sure this feeling is not uncommon or unheard of, but I feel like by now I just feel like I should have some kind of grasp of what I do and do not know you know?

Over my years (especially after high school), a lot of my health issues that most likely should have been diagnosed as a child began surfacing. I was diagnosed with Macular Degeneration five years ago (which now that I finally got to Mayo clinic on the 28th of June, they tell me I don't have that but an inherited Macular Disease possibly), PCOS within the last year when I was plagued by it most likely all my life, Dissociative Identity Disorder around six years ago now (which holy heck that is a while--) amongst other things like Clinical Anxiety and Depression, Hypothyroidism and so forth. I have struggled a lot to even try and properly diagnose some of the issues that people have thought were something else, and on some of it finally, we have a little more knowledge than before.

I feel like I am making excuses for myself, which I don't want to (and I don't know but a huge part of me just feels guilty and like I am in trouble for not being a "better witch" or "better follower" of my gods), but with all of these things in my life I just feel like it has made it harder for me to truly branch out and actually learn the fundamentals of witchcraft as well as paganism. I still feel as though my contacts with my deities were just made up and in my head despite numerous people I have gone to who have confirmed that yes, I was talking to those gods. I have more often than not recently felt like giving up on everything that I knew. I feel supremely lost and without any kind of way to navigate and in the past I would bring this up to people and I would just get told to meditate. Which... Maybe ten years ago, I could. Now? Ironic enough I get a really terrible pain smack dab in my forehead where I guess my "Third eye" would be so to speak.

I remember years of how I would be terrified to speak and see spirits, and now I oddly enough miss it? I feel like the reason why I don't see them or talk to them is because I was so fearful I shut them out, and in a way I worry I shut those who have helped me out too from deities to perhaps helpful guides that I just did not understand. For a while, I tried to get help from people who could clear blockages and pay them in hopes that maybe they could help me, but none if it ever seemed to work. As the years kept on, my health issues continued to worsen and with it, my connections that used to be so open closed more and more.

So much so, that now things have to literally hit me in the face for me to truly notice that just maybe I have someone or something reaching out for me too. I do catch glimpses of it in the music I have. Or, at least I think I do. I even recall a reading someone did for me where it was expressed that they understood I needed to focus on myself, but I don't want to sometimes. I feel like it is all I do now and where I felt stable, now it just is gone. I have so much trouble figuring out who I am, what I want, or if I even want to make it far enough to know anymore.

Yet I just can't give up either. Like, I so desperately wished I could find a mentor like I almost had a few times, but I kinda doubt it would happen you know? I feel like I just need a totally clean slate and start over with what I know versus not. When people ask me about what I know or what my "Craft" is, I almost feel like a fake answering some of the questions because in my eyes I don't entirely "have" one and especially not anymore. I don't know what entirely I want from this post. Advice is always welcome but I just wanted to at least get this out there ya know? Because what if someone else out there is feeling the same exact way I do where they notice a significant hit on their practice and spiritual journey due to their own physical and mental health issues?

Regardless, please know you are not alone if that is the case. Other than me, I am sure there are others too who feel the same where we've been around in communities for a long time, but just perhaps are struggling to feel like they have any right to help those in younger generations answer questions that we feel we may have the answers to but doubt ourselves too much to answer. Trust me, I see those "beginner witchcraft" posts, but I just wished I could have some one on one learning with someone who does understand me and my struggles too. I wish you all well.

Sincerely,

Artorias

#witchcraft advice #paganism advice #witchcraft #paganism #advice #spoonie witch #personal #mental illness #mental health #medical #health #updates #personal update #theistic luciferianism #hellenic paganism

[samwisethewitch]

May 2022 Update

I just wanted to update you all, since I've been kind of absent from blogging lately. I've got some exciting plans for the summer!

First of all, as you may have noticed, I have a new website. The WordPress blog just felt a little bit dated, so I decided to do something a bit more modern. The old blog is still up, but it is strictly an archive now.

I'm also offering tarot readings online for the first time! You can book a reading on the website, or on Etsy. I'll be using the Queer Tarot for all of my readings.

AND, I have a merch store now! You can get T-shirts, tank tops, hoodies, and tote bags in two different fat-positive witchy designs, in sizes ranging from XS to 5XL. You can also get Canvas prints of my art! I have big plans for the store -- I've got several designs that I'm currently testing, and I have something special planned for Pride Month in June.

On a more personal note, this is the last week of my undergrad. As of the day of this post, I've taken all but one of my final exams for my last semester. Hopefully this means more free time and more spoons for the things I actually enjoy doing.

And the biggest news: I'm working on a second book! I'm about 1/5 of the way through the first draft, and my goal is to finish the first draft this summer, edit in the fall, and hopefully start submitting to publishers by the end of the year. I had a really positive experience self-publishing my first book and would absolutely self-publish again, but I feel like this new project would do better as a collaboration with a pagan publishing house.

The new book looks at the connection between witchcraft and social activism, specifically the ways race, gender, sexuality, and social class interact with our magical practices and the historic connection between witchcraft and marginalized identities. If you've ever wanted to read a witchcraft book that quotes Karl Marx, this one is for you.

Because I am currently living and breathing antiracism, queer theory, postmodern feminism, and disability justice as I do research for this next book, some of those topics will probably make their way onto this blog. On the other hand, I'll definitely need breaks from reading and writing about how capitalism is killing us, so I'll probably also use this blog and my YouTube channel as a place for lighter subject matter and discussions.

So yeah, that's what's going on with me and what I'm working on right now. Big things are happening!

#update #store update #etsy update #sam wise author #witchblr #witch #witch books #witch aesthetic #witchy #queer art #queer artist #tarot reader #tarot reading #tarot readings #etsy store #small business #fat positive #art store #indie author #witch author #writer #author #mine

[thatdumbfrenchwitch]

What I’ve Been Up To & Plans for the Future

Hello lovelies. It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything remotely about witchcraft or magic, but hopefully this is coming to an end this summer.

Indeed, these past couple years have been more of the mundane kind than the witchy kind. The main priorities were mostly proving myself in university, with a whole bachelor’s degree and an admission in a master’s degree being at stake here, while trying to maintain something as similar to a normal life as possible and having a job, all this while trying not to get overwhelmed by despair and horror. It’s been quite a couple of years, really.

I didn’t have much space for any kind of spiritual practice, let alone for posting about this on tumblr.com

This summer, however, feels very much like a shift is taking place when it comes to my witching life. I feel it in my bones and in my guts : that visceral feeling that draws me to this life, to this world, and to this community is back, and it is being nourished. This Dumb French Witch is back, and he’s studying and practicing as ever. Which is such a wind of fresh air. It is almost soothing to reconnect with that fire.

So what am I currently doing ?

· First, I’m still developping a healthy and sustained relationship with my ancestors. In this context, I have tried to reconnect with the Christian traditions I was raised in (French Catholic on one side, Russian and Ukrainian Orthodox on another) as they are common grounds between them and me. I am struggling a bit with that as I am very much an animist with pagan tendencies at heart, although the Holy Theotokos is a whole vibe and I’m absolutely in awe before her and she is the moment for me.

· I’m also back to basics when it comes to spellcraft and spellcasting. My track record when it comes to spell efficiency is still not as good as I wish it was so I’m just trying to step my spellcasting game up so that I can better hex the patriarchy, curse N*zis and find myself a boyfriend. I’m also in the process of studying verbal charms which involves studying the magical uses of Psalms (which is part of my struggle with this whole “reconnecting with Christianity” era I’m in), but also reading poetry and finding pieces of academic research on verbal incantations

· In addition to general theory and practice in spellcraft I’m also studying domestic magic, which is very cottagecore of me I must admit. I’m currently reading Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House by Cheryl Mendelson for mundane advice in order to be #perfecthousewifematerial and I also have a little reading list on house magic and witchcraft (including Magical House Protection: The Archaeology of Counter-Witchcraft by Brian Hoggard). I guess this summer is just me acquiring that good ol’ cottage witch knowledge, vibe and, dare I say, aesthetic ?

· Finally, I am trying to elaborate (”trying” being the keyword here) my own personal “Wheel of the Year”. I really want to get in touch with the rhythm of the seasons as well as traditional feasts and celebrations. I guess this personal calendar of mine can be described as kind of Christopagan since I wish it to have feasts from both sides (which for some is a no brainer since there is obvious overlapping between Christian and Pagan feasts) and it will have feasts associated with the Holy Virgin Mary because, as I’ve said earlier, she is the moment. To document this I will surely take inspiration from other blogs but I also have borrowed copies of five volumes from Arnold van Gennep’s Manuel de folklore français contemporain, which I’m VERY excited about. To give you an idea, Arnold van Gennep is considered the father of French folkloristics, and this particular book functions as a foundation for the study of French folklore, and it happens to focus precisely on the traditional cycles in the year. You can expect some tidbits of French folklore about seasonal tidings as the year goes by.

These are all my current interests and my priorities for the next couple months. I hope to be efficient in my studies so that I can start delving again in other interests I have nourished in the past like traditional witchcraft, potion-making, history of magic and East Slavic folklore.

I hope you are doing well, dear reader. Take care.

That Dumb French Witch

#blog update

[annbourbon]

Disclaimer: First things first, because it needs to be said, I am not catholic or christian. But! I grew up in between both communities, and they made me study the bible, superficially, just to make their point.

My parents allowed me to grew up reading fairytales and stuff that would never ever be dreamed lol so things like witchcraft, paganism, hinduism, buddhism, among other things and luckily the schools I went didn't care about it enough because they gave money to them. Yeah, very much like gossip girl. You can really get away with a lot of things if you throw enough money. So:

1. This post, is not meant to be religious.

2. I study literature and art. I'm supposed to read this book as part of my studies. But because of my years at school were a complete torture, I decided to create these notes to have fun while I'm at it. Otherwise I don't think I'll be able to finish it.

3. This post doesn't pretend to attack on any kind of beliefs displayed here. I just want to rationalize it. I'm still a firm believer that if there's a god, that god loves us no matter what we do: And there's no hell.

Let's go through Genesis together...

Genesis 3:17 KJV - 17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

So basically God creates all. Makes them similar and then punishes them for doing something he would have done. But he knows it all. Suuure kiddo. 🙄

Genesis 4:15-17 KJV - .

16 And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.

17 And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch.

Either his wife is Lilith or Eve. If it's Eve means he committed incest(?)

Also, why does the Lord forsakens Cain, Adam and Eve if he is supposed to forgive it all??? 😭

Genesis 5:7 KJV - And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters:

They are freaking vampires 😱🤣

Genesis 5:26 KJV - And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters:

pls stawwp 😭💀 the whole chapter brings nothing to the plot.

Genesis 6:7 KJV

And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

Psycho killer God enters scene.. so far he was only narcissist 😳

Genesis 6:12 KJV - And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.

B-but we're supposed to be like youuuuu 😭🤣🤣 I think he hates himself way too much, we're not that bad. 👀

Genesis 6:14 KJV - Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

So much for being a favourite of the Lord lol he makes you work like there's no tomorrow.. oh wait~~ lol

Genesis 6:15 KJV - this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

ummm god.... shall i show you this youtube video i found where it's proven that this is impossible based on the physics you gave to this planet???

Genesis 6:16 KJV - A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it

They're gonna die of stinkinness because of everyone's poop 😭😭 so nooooo pleaaaasee. What have they done to you? Weren't they your favorite family and all that?... forgive me father for i have sinned but don't make me your favorite please(?)

Genesis 7:6 KJV - And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.

So he was really young uh? 💀

Genesis 7:8 KJV

Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth,

wdym clean and not clean? take a shower before entering the Ark pls😭😭

Genesis 7:13 KJV

In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;

can't stop thinking about termites, woodpeckers, and poop 🙊😵

must be really stinky there 😬💩

Genesis 8:4 KJV

And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.

they could have just moved on to another place lol apparently the flood wasn't everywhere. 🥴😶

Genesis 8:5 KJV

And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month: in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen.

The mountains must be like.... not that high.

Genesis 8:6 KJV

And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made:

😳 you're telling me he survived all that poop!?

Genesis 8:17 KJV

Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.

This guy sounds like he's a vouyerist tbh 😶

(Genesis - First 4 chapters)

Narcissistic/Bipolar God: I created y'all. You're like me. Obbey me. Love me. I'm leaving this cookie here! ^♡^

>.> don't touch or eat it.

...you ate it!?!?

I hate y'all cuz you don't do what I say. Go away....

... Where are you going? What are you doing? 👀😭😭 don't leave me.

(Genesis - chapter 5 to 8)

Psycho Killer God: let's make a terrarium. let's kill them all by flooding everything.

(Genesis - Chapter 8)

Genesis 8:21 KJV

And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.

Vouyerist God: Okay, now let me watch you while you have sex 😀🧐

*they start cooking and God smells smth*

What is that smell? There's pie!? is it for meeeee???

Genesis 9:1 KJV

And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

Vouyerist God: 'Kay I killed your kind, but chill dude! Now let me watch ya having sex 👀🍿

Genesis 9:3 KJV

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

God: You can kill too!! ^♡^

Genesis 9:4 KJV

But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.

God: I don't like Hannibal 😒 Don't be like Hannibal!! Or I'll kill ya 😇

Genesis 9:5 KJV

And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man's brother will I require the life of man.

Vampire God: Ohhh BTW I'm a vampire *reveals*

Noah: 😳

Genesis 9:29 KJV

And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.

i~~ another vampire I see 😀

Genesis 10:15-17 KJV - And Canaan begat Sidon his firstborn, and Heth,

16 And the Jebusite, and the Amorite, and the Girgasite, 17 And the Hivite, and the Arkite, and the Sinite,

Where do they get all these names? O.o The person narrating this one must have been obsessed with names ._.

I mean... I understand because I have lists with thousands of names because duhh i'm a writer too. But seriously??? Why do I need so many names when IDGF about them cuz next line they're already dead. Show me smth more interesting pls 😭😬

Genesis 10:25 KJV

And unto Eber were born two sons: the name of one was Peleg; for in his days was the earth divided; and his brother's name was Joktan.

Peleg 😳 is he the same one that likes sports?? idk if it was football soccer or basketball tho... 🤔🤔

Genesis 11:3 KJV

And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them throughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.

Random thought but we should make a Musical/Slime Tutorial about The Babel Tower

Babel Slime Tutorial~~ ^♡^

Genesis 11:6 KJV

And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

Genesis 11:7-9 KJV - Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.

8 So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.

9 Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

He wants us to reach to him. To call. To go with him. To be with him. But as soon as one wants that as well he changes his mind. And then he questions us whyyyyy we're forgetting about him...

ummm what is it called~?

Well, whatever... he's sick. 😶🥴

Needs a psychiatrist.

I still need to finish this but... so far those are my notes... please don't hate me 😅

#reading list #bible funny #bible