#fuckin good apple sauce man

[boi-zizzoi]

You ever revert back to your middle school self (edgy furry kid hissing at you) except it's just you and your reflection in an empty house with angsty music playing in the background?

Cause mood.

#yeah idk what's wrong with me today but I feel violent in the harmless way #like I want to turn everyone I see small so I can bite their heads off #NOT REALLY I PROMISE NOT GRAPHICALLY #but like the FEELING #I want to be big n scary and INTIMIDATING #but instead I am a fluffy loaf carrying around every form of heating pad known to man #hunched over in the kitchen and glaring at my reflection in the fridge door #ravenously eating guacomole and chips #and being generally angry that all food is not easy to achieve #earlier today one of my roommates came out of his room to see me staring at water waiting for it to boil for my bottle #while simultaneously microwaving my lavendar scented manatee heating plush #in the largest blanket hoodie that none of them have seen me in until today #and we just stared at each other blankly for a minute before he just says 'hey it happens' and walks away #i also fell asleep in the COMFIEST chair in the goddamn world in the living room #and was awoken to go sleep in my room. hehe oops #anyway period days be like #oh yeah almost forgot when my roommate came in I was eating baby food out of one of those squeezy packets #fuckin good apple sauce man

[muertawrites]

eddie munson and food

this man lives on cup noodles and cereal. he doesn't know what a vegetable is and thinks black pepper is a fancy spice. the most complicated things he knows how to make are grilled cheese and kraft dinner (she says like she's not american), and those are rare. if you can cook or like to cook, though, he'll eat whatever you serve him - he's really not as picky as he seems.

grocery shopping with him is always an adventure. it's almost like shopping with a kid; if he had his way, your weekly meals would consist of doritos and pizza rolls. you're constantly having to tell him to put things back, keeping an eye on the cart to make sure he doesn't sneak in as much junk food as he can. he's also super chaotic in a grocery store - hanging off the end of the cart while you push it, drumming his knuckles on everything he passes, kicking random boxes off the shelves to see if he can catch them before they hit the floor.

"can you be chill for like five seconds?" you plead as a fifth box of instant mashed potatoes smacks down at his feet.

"no. absolutely not."

asking him to get things for you to keep him occupied is also a disaster.

"baby, we need lettuce."

"... yeah?"

"you brought me spinach."

"it's green and leafy. it's lettuce."

he thinks the fact that you can make things from scratch, no matter what it is or how simple the process, is magic. he'll lean over the counter and just watch you cook, never absorbing anything but always amazed by your ability. even if you can only make something as elaborate as spaghetti with canned sauce, it's like a gourmet meal to him.

if there are any comfort or ethnic foods you make often, he wants to hear all about them; they're also his favorites, purely because they're yours and he loves listening to you talk about them.

for the hispanic babes: he's mesmerized by tortillas. will hover in the kitchen just to watch you make them.

"so that's how you're so friggin strong. rolling those things out and making them your bitch."

"you flip those things with your hands? babe, that's so fuckin metal!"

(i love making tortillas from scratch store bought tortillas ain't shit)

he's a habitual stealer of your food - anything you have, he'll sneak a bite or a sip of it, no matter what he has to eat. once he finishes his fries, he'll take a couple of yours. he regularly leans over your shoulder to drink from your straw. if he comes home and you're already eating dinner, he'll grab a fork or a spoon and poke it into your dish instead of getting his own; chinese and indian food are common in your house because of this.

was surprised to find out there was more than one kind of cheese.

his favorite thing to cook for you is butter noodles. if you're feeling lazy or are a little short on cash, he'll pop open two packs of instant ramen and slather the plain noodles in butter and black pepper. bone apple teeth.

you help him make baked goods for his side business. he loves everything you bake (if you bake), and whether you like to partake in the ganja or not, he appreciates you taking the extra time to add it to his favorite recipes.

(this is just me projecting) it actually started because you don't smoke. you're sensitive to pot and get really bad paranoia and anxiety, even from a contact high. eddie, being the loving and protective man he is, refuses to smoke in the house / apartment / trailer / whatever because of this. you felt bad in winter when he had to suffer the cold, so you did a little research and figured out how to baste some of his stash in butter to add to cookies and brownies. he proposed to you after taking the first bite (and was actually kind of serious about it).

he started sharing your special baked goods with some of his more well-liked clients just because he was so proud of you and wanted to show off your skill, but they became super popular. now you make batches just for him to sell from time to time; they're regularly gone within a day.

hates fish; it makes him nauseous. big fan of red licorice.

likes to feed you. instead of offering you things to try, he'll hold his hand or fork / spoon up to your lips for you to bite from. gets a little turned on when his fingers "accidentally" slip into your mouth. loves it when you lick things off his fingers.

will sometimes belch in your face just to gross you out and annoy you. he thinks the way you scrunch your face up when he does it is cute. always kisses your nose immediately after. he's a little shit.

#muerta's works #eddie munson #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #can't believe this fictional man is my literal boyfriend at this point

[discount-limeade]

Slipknot: A Review

Part 2

(See Slipknot Vs. Batman For Iowa Era)

Conrad's Ratings On How Well He Thinks The Knot Members can Cook (+ What their favorite Poptart Flavor is)

#0 Sid Wilson

8/10

I actually REALLY fuck with Subliminal Versus hhh

No hair in the food. He's got a Tie on so he MUST know what he's doing. -1 for refuses to use the right noodles for the Dish. -1 Stares at you the Entire time you eat.

Poptart: Blueberry. He peels the Crust off.

#1 JOEY JORDISON

3/10

CANNOT COOK! -2 for does he LOOK like he owns a fucking pot OR a Pan. -1 Only has Ketchup and Half a Coke in the fridge. -1 he "Customizes" his Fast Food Orders. (BK BBQ Sauce on a Crunch Wrap Supreme ETC.) -2.5 for Asks you what you want then says no to every Option until you say what he wants. -.5 put salt in your Drink.

Poptart: Cherry or S'Mores.

#2 Paul Gray

10/10

Classic "Spaghetti Date" kinda Guy.

Homemade Sauce. Garlic Bread and Salad as Sides. No Complaints, he just knows what he's doing.

In a Not Spaghetti Setting, he will Cut your food up for you.

Poptart: Cherry. Toasted with Butter.

#3 Chris Fehn

6/10

Look at him Crackin MAD jokes in this Picture, love it.

-2 for "I love Cast Iron Pans Because you don't have to clean them". YES YOU DO. -1 Too much Salt. -1 can't make Eggs. Look at that picture, man looks like he FUCKS UP some Boiled eggs. But look again and Tell me He knows how to Fry one. Exactly.

Poptart: Berry Blast. Don't even know if that's a Real Flavor but it's his favorite FOR SURE.

#4 Jim Root

5/10

This is a Situation where I think that James, THE MAN, is actually a fuckin Superb Chef. This picture however, not Gonna Cut it.

-1 everything is Spicy as FUCK. Like Run To the fuckin Faucet For water, Damn Near Inedible For some Dishes. -1 for ONCE AGAIN I REALLY don't think this man Washes his Hands. It keeps me up at Night. -1 you made a Comment on a piece of his House Decorations and He Spit in your Sauce. -2 doesn't own Actual Plates or Silverware. Styrofoam Babyyy.

Poptart: Banana. Again, don't know if it's Really, but he looks like he likes That Fake Banana Flavor.

#5 Craig Jones

7/10

I think he'd be REALLY good at Grillin.

-1 for seasons Steak with Salt. Not exclusively but it's part of his Steak seasoning blend, it's just wrong. -1 Grill Brush Bristle in your Burger. -1 wears an Apron that has a print of some guys hairy Chest on it, that man is Wearing Speedos...

Poptart: None. Prefers Apple Toaster Strudels.

#6 Clown

5/10

It's Not that he CAN'T cook, he just doesn't.

-1 for Dirty Dishes. -1 for inappropriate Dinner Conversation. He is telling you about the Process of which This Specific kind of meat is Harvested.

(Personally I'd be Mad interested but Some people can't handle all that YK).

-2 for didn't shower before you came over. Nothing and Everything to do with Cooking. -1 His edibles are Kinda Weak.

Poptart: Cookies N Creme. Cream or Creme?

#7 Mick Thomson

8/10

Nah man, look at this fuckin, LOOK. Got me Gay As Hell.

-1 for the Opposite Cast Iron thing. He soaks it. Unforgivable Really. Now you have to season it EVERY TIME. -1 for He gave you a Mickey Mouse Spoon. -1 for he uses the Microwave A LOT. -1 butter butter butter, beer, butter butter. (This is how he keeps the Meat Moist.)

+2 for Dinner was Served on a Zoopals plate of your choosing.

Poptart: Cinnamon. The Superior Flavor.

#8 Corey Taylor

2/10

This is coming Out of pure Hatred for A post someone made. It Inspired me to make this Whole review. In this post, it was a Picture of the most UNDERCOOKED, UNDER SEASONED, WHITE PEOPLE LOOKIN CHICKEN THAT EVER EXISTED. And it was Some like, thing Where Corey was like, 'Made Dinner'. It was BEYOND foul. I know these Ratings are Based on the picture Provided but fucking -3 for That Post.

There is a Method Of Jacking off Wear you put soup in a Ziploc bag, then put it in a sock to make a Fleshlight. -2 for he served you the Sock Soup.

(I have never Tried this, spare me Please.)

-1 for look how dirty his hands are. Motherfucker doesn't even OWN a Sink. -1 for he Keeps sticking his fingers in the food to Taste it.

Poptart: Fudge. Toasted.

The End.

#slipknot #slipknot review #review #sid wilson #joey jordison #paul gray #chris fehn #jim root #craig jones #shawn crahan #mick thomson #corey taylor #cooking #biased #i'm sorry #about the soup sock thing #its not personal #if yall know what post im talking about please rblg this with it #grillmaster #grillmaster craig jones #can we start making craig normal? #vol.3 #vol. 3 the subliminal versus #the subliminal versus #slipknot volume 3

[quirkle2]

Qpp wars and ledge do they cook or try to cook for each other? Make drinks or try to buy small treats when in towns? If a town is having a folk dance or festival do they end up dancing along together and if so, who initiates it most of the time?

legend's fav food is eggs n rice and it is currently one of the whopping Two dishes warriors knows how to make. he asked wild to teach him how and it was a grueling process considering the fact that wars didn't know what a teaspoon was but they got there in the end and now wars can very confidently make eggs and rice and make it Well, just how legend likes it. he makes it for him when he's in those quiet, distant moods

warriors is a huge sucker for apple stuff. apple pie, apple cider, apple sauce, he fuckin loves apples man. when he's sad, legend knows instantly (he has a Sense . he knows just trust him) and if he has access to a decent kitchen, he sometimes makes him one of those. wars' fav is prolly the apple cider, bc it's one of those situations where it's always better if the other person makes it. wars could make it in Exactly the same way as legend, exact ingredients, times, and methods, and legend's will always taste better to him somehow. legend's apple cider is a big comfort drink for wars :)

AND YES . YES. they both know dances but legend actually Loves dancing—wars rly only knows required fancy ones for parties held at his era's castle. legend is Always the one to initiate a dance, and wars is always and forever willing to do literally anything for him and dancing w legend is fun !!! he's Really good at it and wars gets to laugh at his own stumbling feet on some of the faster ones.

he wasn't taught to dance at this speed and it Shows and it's secretly one of legend's favorite things in the world, watching warriors fumble through stuff he's not good at. not bc he enjoys seeing him fail or anything, it's just rly funny to see a multi-talented guy like wars fumble so much at something, and there's always a little giggle from the guy that comes after wars fails—laughing at himself, just kinda carefree and unbothered, having fun even though he's making a fool of himself. legend gives him the Fondest smile

#qktalks #barnabyboppins #legend's fav food bein eggs n rice came straight from my cherished nitroish i stole it . come get me coppers #actually the apple cider thing came from rot too . i am a little thief hehehhheheh scrambling up its leg and stealing its genius #right out from under its nose!!!!!!!!!!undetected!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [i do a gay little spin] #qpr wars and ledge

[tiredndumbitch]

breakfast

4 scoop coffee black 20

one can/ 1/2 cup mackrell (in olive oil) 300 22g protein (i read the package WRONG lol)

1/2 a 398 ml can of chickpeas 360 (idk how much protein my brain is fried)

lunch

protein shake 120 + 7.5 more black coffee (3 scoops but i only drank half) 24 g protein

dinner

other half of can chickpeas 360

1/4 cup cooked rice (150 +180) 3g protein (recipe was 1 cup rice 1 3/4 cup water lemon juice herbs 1 table spoon of fishy olive oil from mackrell can which was lightly salted, i was supposed to mix it in with the chickpeas but i got hungry and impatient and just ate the chickpeas, they were GOOD)

brocoli 60

1/4 cup beef heart (idk, 250?) 15 g protein??? idk.

tomato sauce 60

half can mackrel 150 11g protein

i think the total calories for the day was 2567.5 ~75g protein?

------------------

walked / / / (had to walk to two seperate stores for rice, liver and beef-heart and then took the long way home, clearly by the amount i ate for dinner i was hungry after, i dont think i shouldve eaten that much)

brushed teeth / /

gallon of water / (and then some)

did chores/

(read four chapters of inkheart)

I DID IT I BOUGHT THE FUCKING RICE / (not as much as i shouldve but i needed other stuff too, period cravings, always listen to those)

did all the dishes///

15 leg lifts / shakey but the easiest part

15 situps / shakey but relatively easy, did them all in a row

15 squats / i think i did them wrong? it was more hurting my ankles and making them click than causing much of that 'burn'

15 chair ups (shakey and pathetic in the first six even, and my elbows kept locking and cracking i think i did it wrong.. but i got there) ] (<- that means idfkm)

15 pushups (not pretty but i managed... 10 albeit pathetically and without the pretty round number reps much less in a row. but i DID IT i will do five more after posting)

15 minute plank_ ... ehhh????? no. lol lets just leave it at that *shame intensifies*

15 minute wall sit _ failure. it was something i expected to be a breeze since my legs are my strongest feature, but i could only do one minute at a fuckin time man. i did it five times, i want to do more later, but im super sore. i feel so pathetic, but it's a good lesson to not take strength for granted right?

yoga.. _ failure i can stretch pretty good still but my balance is objectively terrible.

i only showered once out of the two times i was supposed to. large clumps of hair fell out so that was not fun, strands are still falling off which it annoying. but yeah guess i just have to wash my hair more often. and brush it rather than finger comb. i know, im working on it.

grounded rules i broke

i masturbated when i was half asleep, and am sitting in a chair right now because im fuckin sore. i also intended to buy discount chocolate but i decided to buy an apple instead, some other dude needed the apple more though, his nose was pretty beat up poor guy.it also took more than fifteen minutes to write this thing out, mostly because the excersises were something i realized i gotta do as i was typing or im not gonna forgive myself lmao better late than never? nah, cringe. i need to do better. i just hope im not going like.. bald, im growing my hair out because cookie monster likes my hair long

today was a better day productivity wise, but im really angry with myself for not following through on the rules

im pissed off at bf/mfwb/cookie monster. i'm pretty sure he's ghosted me, that he will waltz on over to grab his stuffed friend and fuck off for good. he hasnt responded in three days i'm limiting my texts to him incase im wrong and he just needs space. but he has this thing, he doesnt show me any consideration unless im either feeling bummed out or am about to leave his place or him, or if he wants to "jUsT cUdDlE" or when he wants me to do a favour but is too coy to ask directly (bitch we both have adhd just spit it the fuck out please i beg of you) then he can't get enough of me all of the sudden. i dont care he's needy sometimes im just insulted he thinks im so stupid i dont notice, i do. i can't wait till he leaves me for good i just wish he wouldnt waste both our time like this. he obviously doesnt want anything to do with me so why string me along??? im going to make new friends, ones who actually enjoy spending time together and dont find me so emberassing they make a billion and half excuses to not hang out even if you offer to cover the whole thing only to hang out with other friends. if he bothers to keep this going or not thats on him. im fucking done with his shit.

[casspurrjoybell-26]

💖Sweet Revenge💖 - Chapter 11

*Warning Adult Content*

Back in my tiny apartment, I let out a sigh of frustration and regret and bang my head against the door I just slammed shut at my back.

"Fucking Drama Queen," I berate myself under my breath.

"You couldn't hold it together for five fucking minutes? Shit."

Now I've got a raging hard-on and Blake thinks I'm some kind of mental case.

At least one of those things I can deal with.

In the bathroom, I turn on the shower and shed my clothes.

Beneath the hot spray, I stroke myself off with swift efficiency, gasping and leaning heavily on the wall as I come with an intensity I haven't felt in months.

My legs feel weak and I slide to the floor, letting the hot water beat against my back while I rest my head on my raised knees.

Great, now I'm acting like a mental case, too.

I shouldn't have let Blake kiss me, no matter how much I wanted him to.

He'd wanted it just as bad and clearly would have taken it further if I'd let him but it wasn't his reaction that alarmed me... it was mine.

It's true it'd been a while but I'm no virgin and it's not like I don't take care of my own needs and yet I almost came in my pants from that kiss alone.

Worse, now that I've tasted what Blake has to offer, I don't think I'll ever stop wanting more.

Just when I thought I'd finally left the past behind me, too.

I'd even stopped dreaming about it.

~♡~

Chad's fingers left dark bruises on my face where he'd grabbed me.

When I'd got home that night, my Dad looked away from his sports program long enough to notice.

"What the fuck happened to you?" he'd asked.

"Got in a fight," I'd said.

That answer seemed to please him.

Fighting was manly, so it had his approval.

I like to think if my Mom was still around she might have pressed for more, might even have scolded me or given me a lecture or something but she was in Europe somewhere with a wealthier, handsomer man than my father.

She'd been too young when she had me and domesticity hadn't agreed with her.

I didn't blame her, really.

My Grandma told me my dad used to be 'sweet as apple cider' when he was young and in love with my mom.

I guess time hadn't been kind to his body or his soul and his apple cider had turned to vinegar.

I made chicken and pasta that night.

The extent of my Dad's talent in the kitchen was the ability to operate the microwave, so the cooking fell to me.

My Dad appreciated that at least, though he always found a way to include a barb in his complements... tiny razors hidden in something sweet.

I served him his dinner where he sat in front of the TV. I'd have preferred to eat at the table, like a normal family but he didn't want to miss whatever was happening in whatever gladiatorial game he was watching.

So I sat at the other end of the couch and pretended I was interested too.

"Hmm, this is good," he said, mopping cream sauce up with a piece of chicken.

"This a recipe?" I shook my head.

"Not really. Just something I made up."

"Huh?" he grunted.

"You'll make someone a fine wife someday."

Out of someone else's mouth, maybe that would have been a funny, lighthearted joke... a little jab meant more as a compliment than anything else.

From him, it sounded ugly and mean-spirited and I knew he didn't mean it in a good way.

I stood and snatched his plate from his hands and some pasta fell in his lap.

"Fuckin' hell, boy. What the fuck are you doin'?" he yelled.

I took his plate and mine and dumped them... plates, forks and all... in the trash.

"What the fuck, are you wastin' good food for?"

He was on his feet now, face red with fury.

"You think I'm made'a money? I work hard for that shit."

I dashed up the stairs to my room and locked myself in.

From the living room below I heard him continue to rant and curse for a minute but he quickly ran out of steam.

"Now what the fuck 'm I s'posed to eat?" he grumbled and then he was quiet, probably having answered his own question with another beer and settled back in front of the TV.

I cried.... quietly, of course, so he wouldn't hear me... for a long time.

I cried for my broken heart and my broken family and my stupid little broken dream of making something worth loving... or of being something worth loving.

I guess I thought those were the same thing.

~♡~

'Sweet Revenge' is closed on Sundays.

Not because I'm religious but because even I need a day off and it's the quietest day of the week.

I'm roused by a loud rapping on the door and drag myself from bed with a groan.

It's not coming from downstairs, I realize.

It's coming from the door of my apartment.

It has an outside access at the top of a flight of wooden stairs around the back of the shop but most people don't realize it's a residence unless they know me or they've looked it up.

I rub the sleep from my face and run my hands through my hair.

I didn't sleep well and I'm hoping whoever's out there will give up and go away.

They don't and continue to knock with increasing insistence, until I'm not sure whether to be more worried for the door or their hand.

I decide to reward their impatience by not bothering to get dressed.

If it's the Jehovah's Witnesses, they're in for a treat. It's not, though.

It's Blake and his eyes go straight down while his brows go up.

At least I don't sleep nude but my briefs suddenly feel very small indeed.

"Holy shit," he says.

"Jesus Christ," I say at the same time and try to slam the door in his face but he's too fast and catches it.

"Wait, Aaron. I need to talk to you," he says.

"Please?"

I briefly consider which would be more painful... paying his hospital bill if I slam his fingers in the door or letting him in my apartment while I'm dressed in my underwear and listening to what he has to say.

"Fine," I let go of the door and step back.

"What?"

"I... I didn't like how things ended last night," he says.

Yeah, he's not alone there.

"And I... I know you don't want to hear this but... I really like you."

Actually, I don't hate hearing it.

He draws a deep breath and finally spits it out.

"And . . . I'm really worried about you."

Ah, fuck.

Time to set the record straight.

[finnothehimbo]

Life is good. I’m stressed but starting to get a bit more okay with the idea I’ll never be stress free. I love life more and more and am so happy to have found one of my soul mates 💕. We’re more than two years in. I love that i tried a new dessert flavor at the overpriced work cafeteria. I love the pasta sauce I made from scratch. I love how silly it is I made it a bit grainy and a bit too Spicey cause I was only taste testing a drop at a time. I love how fuckin well I’ve been budgeting on just under 25k take home a year. I love my desire to learn coming back since meeting my person. I love that my new therapist was transparent enough so I know we’re not a good fit. I love that I’ve read 3 books this year! I love my tattered jacket that I’ve loved thread barren. I love my new body hair. I love my family doctor who gave me my long time known diagnosis on paper. I love my coworkers. I love my transitional body losing weight gaining hair getting stronger and feeling better while learning to love that my body isn’t as desirable in a man’s gaze. I love my calendar system. I love the concept of a notebook you basicly use like i use my “advice and life inspo” folders online. I love having extra blankets to invite friends over with. I love coffee shops. I love the new underwear I’m ordering. I love the mail man who knocked and told me my postage would be returned to sender (again) cause it was heavy letter mail so it needed two stamps. I love my weird new hair texture. I love my partners influence on my needle phobia. I love having such a cheerleader in my life and I love that they let me messily learn to be a better cheer leader in theirs. I love my Jammie pants. I love my artistic abilities. I love my TV. I love my stockings I bought for Christmas. I love my disco ball. I love my hat looms. I love my apple phone despite previously being an apple hater. I love seeing my nephews routinely. I love building a relationship with my brother. I love my cousins wedding. I love learning to send snail mail. I love the holiday lights that I’m not gonna take down. I love progressively working through my anxiety. I love having respectful company. I love working on myself. I love my stash of reusable bags. I love my cat. I love the charities I get to work with. I love learning to home make safely and having a clean home. I love my abilities to set boundaries. I love so much.

[supa101]

The Amazing Story ( Chapter 7 )

Blue : Hey supa What else has happened to you in school?

Supa : Well... School shootings right? Before there we're a lot of them one happened to my school.

Blue : Huh.. Did you help with the shooting?

Supa : I was like three years old But a smart person at least And I was like a six year old. No no I was six. My memory is foggy so I clear it up so yeah

Blue : You have a VHS or somethin?

Supa : Do you have you're TV?

Blue : its on already

Supa : W.. WHAT?! How DID YOU DO THAT!

*Supa Puts the VHS In the top of the TV*

Supa : I-is this recording? Okay hi mom I hope you like this drawing of you and dad and m---

*gun shots out in the hallway*

Teacher : Everyone flip you're desk's and be quiet!

*Supa gets a gun out of his cubby*

Supa : it feels pretty cold in here.. Is that just me..? You guys stay there I am gonna look outside

*supa opens the door to the classroom*

Supa : HEY GO AWAY OR... YOU ARE GONNA... (fuck) YOU ARE GONNA DIE A COLD DEATH!

??? : LIKE HELL I AM FUCK YOU'RESELF!

*Supa gets shot threw the door*

Supa : oof! they hurt :(

*the hallways get very cold*

Supa : SO WHAT IS YOU'rE NAME?

Val : VAL! AND YOU ARE?

Supa : NAMES SUPA BUT YOU ARE SOMEONE I WOULD LOVE TO SEE DEAD! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!

Val : Good question! NO FUCKIN CLUE

*supa walks out into the hallways*

Supa : Shoot Me! I FUCKING DARE YOU! MY HEAD RIGHT NOW!

*supa gets shot in the head*

Val : YOU SADLY FAILED I WILL TELL YOU'RE PARENTS!

*Val gets frozen*

Supa : Nice try bitch

*he shoots the ice statue of val multiple times and it crumbles*

Supa : Excuse me teacher tell the big man in the place where i get sent home to turn of the heat to defrost the hallway And to get me a apple sauce

Teacher : O-okay!

*the hallways defrost quickly*

Supa : Also before I end this recording because its hard to hold this camera in one hand and a gun in the other Hi mom and maybe dad Look at the drawing of us

*the camera points to a picture of six stick people hold hands*

Supa : Bye mom and dad love you! :O MY APPLE SAUCE YAY!

*End of VHS*

Blue : WoW THAT WAS INTENSE. Who are you're parents?

Supa : Well blueberry Don't know I did have a birthday cake next to where I sleep with the candles my age! so.. I also did not have a house or a family so cardboard box works.

Blue : huh... Was it nice at least?

Supa : Amazing! It was great!

Blue : When did you meet person though?

Supa : six days after that but I will tell you that story tommarow!

*supa passes out*

Blue : oh that was funny.

*blue tucks supa into bed*

Blue : good night supa!

[writtenjewels]

Pi Day

Salim entered the mess hall to find Nick, Rachel, Clarice, and Merwin seated but without any food in front of them. He drew closer and his nose caught the sweet scent of baking coming from the kitchen. Nick caught his eye and waved him over.

“Sit here,” the young man invited. “They're almost done.”

“What's happening?” Salim asked as he seated himself.

“Best day of the fuckin' year,” Merwin answered. “Pi day.” That didn't really answer Salim's question so he turned toward Nick hoping for more.

“It's a math thing. And every year Eric and Joey celebrate it by baking pies.” Salim wasn't entirely sure what pies had to do with math at first, but then he realized: the value of pie, three point one four. And today was March the fourteenth.

“Oh, that's clever.” He scanned the faces of the other Americans and found one other missing. “So where is Jason?”

“He decided to join them this year.” Nick shrugged his shoulders. “Don't know why; he never offered before. I didn't think he even knew how to bake.”

Salim was curious now, too. As the smells grew stronger in the kitchen, his stomach grew more interested. He was salivating by the time the three bakers finally emerged. Salim's eyes went immediately to Jason: the young marine wasn't wearing his hat for a change and had an apron tied around him that read “My Kitchen, My Rules”. Which contradicted with Eric's “Hail to the Chef” apron. It still looked good on him, though.

“What's on the menu, sweetie?” Merwin asked Joey.

“Empanada galleda to start with, and for dessert we have apple or anke pie.” Jason was already cutting into one of the pies and passing a slice over to Salim. “Come on, he doesn't want dessert first,” Joey chided him.

“This is the one you made, Jason?” Salim guessed. It didn't look like any pie he'd ever seen before. He took a forkful into his mouth and letting out a hum of pleasure at the taste of the pie's lemony sauce. “It's very good!”

“Glad you like it.” Jason took off his apron so he could sit down next to Salim and get some pie for himself. The others were already digging into Joey's empanada.

“I'll have to get in on this tradition, too,” Salim remarked. “I think you might like cheese chureck.”

“Make it for me later.” Jason bumped their shoulders together. “If it's good, I'll give my compliments to the chef.” There was something almost flirty about the way he said it. But maybe Salim was just hearing what he wanted to hear.

Still, he was going to bake that cheese chureck later and find out.

#jason/salim #jason x salim #jason kolchek x salim othman #jason kolchek #salim othman #jalim #house of ashes #joey gomez #nathan merwin #nick kay

[falcqns]

Hiiii! Long rant ahead 😅-

Can I please request a Bucky x civilian!fem!reader (Avengers au! Endgame never happened au! Bucky joined the Avengers au!) where Sam & Steve are friends with a civilian girl who Bucky starts to really like (but Bucky being Bucky, he’d be worried she would be scared of him, & he thinks he’s a monster 🥺 so he wouldn’t admit he likes her), she really likes him too, & one day when she’s spending the night at the Avengers HQ, he has another nightmare & she calms him down & goes to sleep on the floor with him & they cuddle & he kisses her 🥺 The next morning, Sam & Steve would go up to Bucky’s floor & see them cuddling on the floor of Bucky’s living room🥺 The rest of the Avengers would come up there out of curiosity & Tony would tease them so much & try to take pictures lol. Steve & Sam would be smug but also really happy for Bucky because she’d be good for him 🥺🥺🥺 Sam would annoy Bucky so much about it 😂😂💜🥰

you could never hurt me

pairing: Bucky Barnes x civilian!fem!reader

warnings: angst, fluff, soft!Bucky, almost sub!Bucky which I love and wanna write more of but im scared too bc idk if people want that, Tony being a dumb ass as usual, Sam and Steve are good friends

a/n: this got wayyy more fluffier than I planned on bc I've been diving into the little!Bucky tag on AO3 too much and he’s always such a sweetheart and I wanna write some but im too scared I’ll get hated on eep. Hope you enjoy and thank you for the request!

God, you adored Bucky.

Despite everything he had been through, he was such a sweetheart. He had a softness to him, a softness he didn’t show most people. 

You really didn’t expect to fall for him when you started running with Sam and Steve a few months prior, but you definitely weren’t complaining. However, despite the softness you saw, he seemed to hate you. 

You didn’t know why. He was never verbally rude, he’d often leave a room as soon as you’d enter it, and avoid you as much as possible. 

You’d been over to the compound plenty of times, but you had never spent the night. Tonight was Tony’s birthday party, and you wanted to talk to Bucky about why he hated you so much, but you didn’t see him at the party, or after. According to Steve, he hated parties, and tended to lock himself in his bedroom  until the party was over, when he would venture out and eat some of the left over food.

Once the party was over, you and the rest of the avengers, except Bucky, were sat in one of the many common areas drinking a few more beers before everyone retired for the night. 

You heard Bucky’s door shut behind him, and watched as he walked into the kitchen. The team seemed to completely ignore his presence, and that stung a little bit. Did they not see the sweet and innocent Bucky that you, Sam and Steve saw? You shook the thought out of your head as Bucky trudged back to his room with some food and a drink in his hand, completely ignoring his teammates. 

You sighed internally, and decided to bring it up another time. 

You had just settled into your bed for the night, when you heard noises from Bucky’s room, which was right beside yours. You ignored them at first, thinking they were just him moving around and getting ready for bed, just like you had moments before. But, soon you started to hear different noises. 

You stood up from the bed, and pressed your ear against the wall that separated the two rooms. It sounded like he was trying to call out for someone, and couldn't. Like he wanted to talk so badly, but his words were catching in his throat. You feared that he could be severely hurt, so you ran out of your room and knocked on his door. 

“Bucky, you okay?” You said, and the sounds only continued. As they got louder, you knocked again, but there was still no answer. You tried the door knob, but it was locked. You looked down the hallways and was tempted to knock on Steve’s door. You wanted to make sure he was okay and you were definitely not strong enough to kick the door in.  

Just as you were reaching Steve’s door, you heard a low shout, and sobs rip through the air. You ran back to the room and tried the door handle, which was still locked. You breathed deeply, as you tried to figure out what to do. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” You asked hesitantly, and she answered right away. 

“What can I assist you with Ms Y/L/N?” 

You breathed in relief. “Can you unlock Bucky’s door for me?” 

“Sergeant Barnes has restricted access to his room. The only one who was access is Captain Rogers.” You groaned. 

“I just want to make sure he’s okay. He can get mad at me all he wants for breaking into the room but he doesn't sound okay,” You reasoned.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded instantly. “I agree. His heart rate and blood pressure are rising. I will unlock the door.” A second later, a low click was heard, and this time when you tried the door, it unlocked and you stepped into Bucky’s room. 

The sight of him broke your heart. 

He had abandoned his blankets on the floor and crawled into one of the corners. His knees were pulled up to his chest, and his forehead was resting on his knees as he cried his poor heart out. You rushed over, and crouched in front of him. 

“Bucky? Are you okay?” You asked, and he shook his head, trembling slightly. You heard his teeth chattering, so you grabbed the comforter from behind you, and wrapped it around his shoulders. His cries slowed slightly, and he looked up at you.

“W-why are you helping me?” He asked, stuttering slightly. 

You furrowed your brows. “You’re obviously not doing well, and I want to help you. Why wouldn't I help you?” 

Bucky choked out a laugh. “I thought you'd be scared of me. Of what I can do. Of what I've done.” 

You sat criss cross apple sauce in front of him, and took his metal hand into your flesh one. You held it up, and intertwined your fingers with his. “I’m not scared of you.” You said simply, and Bucky nodded, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. 

He looked down at his lap. “I could hurt you.”

You scoffed and moved closer. Without letting go of his hand, you manoeuvred to your knees, and pushed his legs down flat. You straddled his lap, you free hand rising and tangling in his locks that were wet from both his shower and sweat. “You could never hurt me.” You stated, your hand in his hair sliding down to cup his jaw, your thumb rubbing against his soft and kissable cheek. 

You watched as a tear slipped from his eye, and danced like a rain drop in a carwash down his soft but still stubbly cheek and jaw. 

“Why are you so nice to me? I don’t deserve it.” He whispered, his chin trembling. You smiled sadly and wiped the tear away. 

“You are is deserving of everything sweetheart. You’re such a sweetie pie and it sucks that the rest of your team doesn't see it, because you deserve all the loves and cuddles you could get. What you did, that wasn’t you. It may have been your body, but it wasn't you. You have been treated so harshly by so many people, including those who were supposed to protect you from those who did hurt you, when all you deserve is such kindness.” You said, and smiled when Bucky practically melted into your embrace, his head burying itself in your neck. He unraveled your fingers, and wrapped his arms around your waist, his face nuzzling in your neck. 

“Thank you. No ones ever said something that nice to me,” He said, and you felt his eyes flutter closed against the skin of your neck, finally at peace. 

“You deserve it.” You said, and you pulled away slightly. He let out a whine, but then his eyes widened, almost expecting you to hurt him. Your heart melted and you pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“It’s okay if you’re feeling vulnerable, baby. I’m right here. I won't leave, and I won't hurt you. Let’s lay down okay?” You said, and he sniffled as he nodded and followed you groggily over to where his blankets were on the floor. You laid down, and opened your arms, inviting him in. 

He laid down in your arms, and his face found your neck again. He breathed in slightly, and sat up on his elbow suddenly. You furrowed your brow, but all the questions that were swirling in your head were answered when he pressed his lips against yours. You smiled into the kiss, and cupped his jaw again as your lips moved together slowly and sensually. 

The kiss broke a few moments later, and you ran a hand through Bucky’s hair, a dopy smile spreading on his face. 

You opened your arms again. “Come lay down, love.” You said, and he instantly complied, his body finding its previous position. You heard his breathing even out seconds later, and knew he was finally getting the sleep he deserved.

The next morning, Steve and Sam went looking all over the compound for you, and couldn’t find you anywhere. They walked past Bucky’s room once more, and made eye contact. 

“You don’t think-”

“Theres no way-” They said at the same time, and decided to look.

 A smile cracked on both their faces when they saw you and Bucky, still curled up on the floor. 

A flash went off, and they turned to face Tony. “Fuckin’ finally. Been waiting for Tin Man to make a move for months.” He said, and Steve smacked him upside the head. 

Taglist:

All:

@kpopgirlbtssvt @@nerdypinupcrystal @@sohoseb @@bieberhoodforever @crazy-avengers-gal @colicovision @est19xxshit

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x ofc #sebastian stan x you #bucky fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x female oc #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #fluff #angst #avengers #mcu

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

Vibes Dream SMP members give off (in my opinion)

Dream

Barked at people in high school ironically but it became unironic real quick

Can’t cook very well but is good with a knife, especially at a fast pace

One of those kids who either purposely spells the first word wrong in a spelling bee to just be done with it right away or tries the hardest and manages to win (there is no inbetween for this heathen)

Bites ice cream with his teeth

Has snorted pixie stix far too many times and sneezed blue after each time

Eats bananas with the peels

Wears mismatched socks

Has taken a bite out of a pool noodle because he liked the texture and impulsively bit it (ADHD things✨😌)

Walks around looking extremely high but he’s just spacin out and stuck in his head

Dreams (lmao) in Minecraft and video games in general

Will flirt with anything that moves but has no idea how to respond to compliments

Makes fun of himself first before anyone else can

Has eaten an orange peel and it wasn’t that bad in his humble opinion

Wears khaki shorts

Eats the wax part of the baby bell cheese

Doesn’t actually know what genre his music taste is cause he vibes to everything

Georgenotfound

Picks at the skin on his lip when it’s dry so it bleeds and he tries not to give in by licking his lips often enough to the point where it became a habit

Wears velcro shoes because he doesn’t feel like tying them (he knows how, he just doesn’t wanna do it)

Eats peanut butter straight from the jar

Makes that disgusting “ants on a log” thing (celery stick filled with peanut butter topped with a row of raisins)

Can’t drink milk plain, it’s gotta have some sort of flavour

Can draw a perfect straight line but his circles look Terrible

Eats cheez-its like cereal without milk

Loves making little noises so much like he walks around his house doin chores and he’s just goin “memememenownownwnkwkshskshkshskhs”

Hates wearing socks

Coloured his tongue with highlighters because they’re non-toxic

Constantly tapping his feet and hands to a song/beat playing in his head

I can’t imagine this man using a bike of any sort, so Imma say he doesn’t know how

Can’t be licked by dogs because he’s used to being licked by his cat so it makes him uncomfortable

Can actually sing pretty well but gets real nervous in front of people so he fucks it up

Sapnap

No idea how to cook anything other than Mac and cheese please help this man

Meows at cats because he wants to confuse them and laughs Way too hard when he does (his laugh is like sunshine so I’ll allow it)

Would be fantastic at braiding hair Idk why

Gives the BEST fuckin hugs EVER

When singing, he makes noises for the instrumental parts too

Wanted to play the drums at one point

Really likes pit bulls but he’s more of a cat person so he loves them from afar

Only vaguely knows how to shave his face properly without hurting himself

Opportunities for him come up out of pure luck but mans is skilled for them so it works out well almost Always

Used to or currently has a skateboard and isn’t too bad

ALWAYS has bruises appearing everywhere for no reason, he doesn’t even know where 90% of them are from

Calls his friends twinks to jokingly bully them and gets away with it because he himself is not a twink

Gets sudden bursts of energy in the middle of the night and just shimmies around a bit to try and deal with it

Favours spearmint over peppermint

Arsonist

Banned from three (3) Dave & Busters in Texas

Badboyhalo

Washes his hands after doing literally anything

Likes the bird exhibits at the zoo (specifically the penguins)

Very good at cooking, best at soups and stews

If he painted his nails they would definitely be a baby blue

Overthinks very simple things and it makes him look less smart than he actually is

Drinks tap water

Probably prefers whiskey over beer

Knows how to tap dance a bit

Surprisingly good at taking and handling shots

Steady hands

Adds extra chocolate to hot chocolate

Plays sudoku and is really really good at it (only uses pen when he plays)

Everytime he sees a Himalayan salt lamp he NEEDS to lick it despite knowing it’s very salty and he’ll pull a face afterwards

Not great at Rock Paper Scissors

Wears sunglasses inside for no reason at all, he just,,,Does

Still has a stuffed animal from childhood perched on his bed

Probably tried his hand at archery

Tommyinnit

He has no idea how to use a baby voice on children or animals, so he just talks to them normally

Wears socks to bed

His fingers are double jointed

Always starts twitching if he stays still for too long because he’s gotta move around

His shoes and have different laces and it bothers everyone but himself

Doodles on himself in class when he’s bored or not paying attention

Has really good hearing, both with pitch and volume

Can’t eat tomato’s by themselves, it’s either gotta be in sauce form or with something else

FUCKING LOVES STRING CHEESE

Terrible handwriting

Favourite part of a slice of bread is the crust

Wants to paint his nails black to be cool and edgy but his hands are far from steady and he has no clue how to paint nails

Pretty affectionate with close friends (like Tubbo and Wilbur) off stream/camera

He likes pears for some reason

Wilbur Soot

Is constantly having to decide between leaving his hair as is or shaving all of it off

He also thinks about adding some colour but never actually does

Most tea is gross to him

Everytime he puts a breath mint thats circular in his mouth, he pretends it’s a pill and he’s taking drugs because he thinks that’s funny

He does that vacant state as a joke but that really what he looks like when he’s spacing out

Likes to aggressively flirt with his male friends but if his female friends flirt with him, he gets a bit flustered

Has probably accidentally swallowed a guitar pick

Once drank two entire jars of pickle juice

Bonks his head on anything and everything

He has broken a pair of glasses by walking face first into a pole outside

Thinks kinetic sand is fun

Has passionate arguments with others about trivial and random topics like chicken feet

Can open a beer bottle with his teeth

Would accidentally pop and swallow a bracket if he had braces

Tubbo

Hates sharp cheddar cheese

Everytime he learns a new word it’s in every sentence he says for the next week or so

Ate candle wax for a dare once

Doesn’t know how to tie a tie and will probably never learn

Wanted to do ballet at one point but decided not to

He has eaten multiple flowers for absolutely no reason other than wanting to know how they taste

Starts vibrating if he’s too excited

Used to bite his nails

ABSOLUTELY DESPISES MUSTARD

Has eaten paper and says it doesn’t taste that bad

Enjoys telling his friends how much they mean to him (this has resulted in Tommy and Wilbur crying on a few seperate occasions)

Spaces out a lot and doesn’t often pay attention to his surroundings

Gets lost inside of Best Buy’s

Likes s’mores but doesn’t properly understand how to make them

Technoblade

Learned to cook purely out of spite and found it’s actually pretty fun

Constantly getting smacked in the face by trees when walking outside

Really likes apple pie

Everytime he looks at potatoes he thinks of all the hours he spent trying to win the potato war

Starts things as a joke and gets too into it

Doesn’t like the taste of most energy drinks

Has rubbed salt and lemon juice into an open wound to just,,see how it felt (he did it once and Hated it but did it again because he forgot what it felt like)

Sometimes hates how quiet he is because everyone he knows is loud and talks over him

Despite how he is portrayed in the Dream SMP, he is extremely loyal to his friends and would kill for them

Over seasons his food because he can’t taste it otherwise

Really good balance

Doesn’t like to wear bright colours, but still enjoys wearing colours

Good at knitting

Quackity

Actually fairly quiet when off camera

Will accidentally use Spanish grammar while speaking English sometimes

Country music confuses him

Doesn’t really like kids but they really like him

Can’t dance

Hardest drugs he’s ever done is second hand smoke from a cigarette and children’s Tylenol

His favourite jolly ranchers are the red and blue ones

He uses lighters as fidget toys basically

Will have a breakdown, take a bubble bath, and call himself the self care king

Dehydrated

Wants a pet rat but he already has a cat and doesn’t wanna risk anything

Constantly questions why his main source of income is playing Minecraft with two 16 year olds

Karl Jacobs

Probably ate a spider once

Would wear those socks that are like gloves for you feet where it separates all the toes

Eats ravioli straight from the can, cold

Can answer an incredibly complex math equation fairly easily but will stumble over 12x11

Loves kids so much and speaks to them in a soft voice

Tried making ramen in a coffee pot and broke it

Drinks 2 monster energy drinks a day on average

Likes to open walnuts with his teeth but doesn’t actually eat them

The embodiment of that one John Maulany joke where he says you could spill soup in his lap and HE’D apologize to YOU

Loves physical affection so so much!!!!

If he moves his wrists in a certain way, they pop Really Loudly

Fantastic at making cookies

Fundy

Lowkey actually a furry but more on like, a cat boy level than fursuit level

Drives a Honda Civic

Likes ABBA

Adds parsley to almost anything he makes food-wise

Loves garlic bread so much, he’d commit a federal crime for it

Middle child vibes

Decent at skiing

Good at singing but isn’t terribly confident

Seems responsible at first glance but in reality he’s pretty chaotic and childish

Bad at spelling

Always cuts his nails way too short so they always feel weird/hurt

Likes bracelets and rings

Thinks pastel colours slap

JSchlatt

Despite the character he plays, he’s actually really sweet

He’s genuinely that cryptic off camera as he is on camera

Can cook but chooses not to most of the time

Would probably say “what pussy size you wear” to anyone who asks him to buy pads

Not actually as intimidating as he appears to be

Lowkey would fight a child

Shuts down when someone compliments him, often using aggression as a front because holy shit they just called him handsome and kind what the Fuck-

Jokingly says his license is suspended but in all actuality he never got his license in the first place

He has two (2) extra teeth but they don’t need to be removed so he kept them

Has a stick n poke of a stickman on his ankle he got in high school

Likes physics

This is already very long, and I still plan on adding more.

#dream #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #sapnap #mcyt fandom #dream mcyt #mcyt memes #sapnap mcyt #george mcyt #mcytumblr #vibes #more later #i plan on doing every member #don’t worry guys #dream team #dream smp #mcyt #tommy and tubbo #tommy mcyt #tubbo #wilbur soot #tommy and wilbur #wilbur soot mcyt #dreamnotfound #jschlatt #schlatt #quakity #quackity #Technoblade #technoblade mcyt

[nalgenewhore]

Too Late To Turn Back Now - Epilogue

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

                                                One Year Later

Elide had taken off her heels long before they walked down the hall to their penthouse. The champagne in her blood from the countless toasts at Fenrys and Nehemia’s rehearsal dinner was losing its touch and she felt clear-headed as she unlocked the door and dropped her shoes and mother of pearl minaudière.

Her clutch matched the drop pearl necklace she wore, her accessories simple with her dress. A light lilac silk number with a ruched bust that looked beautiful on her, like a liquid as it clung delicately to her curves. The colour of her almond-shaped acrylics – just long enough to scratch his scalp the way he liked when she played with his hair – matched her dress as well.

“Baby!” she called, spinning around as Lorcan shut the door behind him. He smiled and she felt her lips – painted a dark berry that was stark against her pale complexion – pull up into an intimate grin.

They lived in Orynth now. Elide had quit her job as a prosecutor basically the day they returned from the Northern Isles and when she had gotten an offer as a child advocacy attorney in Orynth, they’d both agreed that she should take it.

Elide had moved to Orynth nine months ago and they stayed separated as Lorcan finished his articling and then snagged a position with Crown Counsel in their new city.

“Princess,” he replied, his voice deep and smooth as he wrapped his arm around her waist and his hands slid down to the curve of her ass. It sent a shiver down her spine. “You looked nice tonight.”

“’Nice’?” she repeated, fake ire in her dark eyes. “That’s all you have to say? I look nice?”

Lorcan rolled his eyes as she went on, chiding him for his ‘lukewarm’ compliment as she put it. With a sigh, he cupped her cheek, his thumb stroking over the apple of her cheek, “Darlin’, you look beautiful, as always. Absolutely stunning. Drop-dead gorgeous. A fuckin’ goddess. Exquisite.” His other hand splayed over her lower back and his thumb circled over her tattooed wyvern’s tail. Due to the slinky, low-cut back of her dress, her tattoos were on full display, something she never would’ve done a year ago.

He switched to Ozuye, praising her in the language she loved so despite only understanding the basics. A pleased, soft grin appeared over her mouth and Lorcan leaned down, resting his brow against hers. “Is that sufficient, your Highness?”

“I think it’ll do,” she whispered, tilting her chin up and kissing him so softly, her hands coming up to cup his face, her fingertips resting elegantly on his stubbled cheeks. With a happy little gasp, she pulled back, “Will you make me food?”

He laughed, his head tipping back. Elide giggled, eyes tracking her boyfriend’s joyful expression. “Yeah, princess, I’ll make you food. What do you want?”

“Ooh remember that pasta you made, like, a week-ish ago? That,” she said, almost buzzing from her excitement. "Please."

Lorcan chuckled and leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to her lips, “Ok. Let me change and I’ll do it.” Before he could lead her to their room on the second floor, she stopped him, wiping her lipstick from his lips.

“It’s not your shade. Clashes with your suit and skin tone,” she told him, patting his cheek, and letting him tug her behind him.

Entering their bedroom, they found a nest of blankets on their bed, though it had been made before they left. Elide squealed lightly, “Hell, baby!” A furry head popped up, icy blue eyes bright even in the darkness of their room.

Lorcan chuckled as Elide scooped up the Husky puppy – named Hellas – and cradled him close. “I told you he’d be lonely,” she accused him, frowning as she bounced the bundle in her arms. It never failed to make him smile when he remembered just how soft her soft spot for fluffy, little animals was.

“And I told you Mia would kick both our asses for bringing him,” he answered her mildly, taking off his suit jacket and tossing it onto the armchair in the corner. He loosened his tie and went to change while Elide spoke quietly to their pet, his paws swiping the air above him.

By the time he was changed into sweats and a cut off t-shirt, Elide had done nothing except move to the balcony, holding Hellas so that he could look over the glittering city. She held one of his paws, pointing out various sights. Lorcan walked to her, freezing as he approached the threshold of the sliding glass door, unable to think of anything else but when Elide would hold their child like that.

Kids were… abstract to them. They were both fairly young and neither felt any pressure to produce any offspring. Creator damn him, they weren’t even married. The ring in his pocket was practically burning a hole through his sweatpants, taunting him.

“Princess,” he said, his voice low, “I’m gonna get your food started. You want anything else?”

Elide spun neatly, smiling brightly as he reached for the dog and put him down after kissing the top of his head. “Nope! I’m gonna pop in the shower and I’ll be down soon,” she said, resting her hand on his chest as she rose on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek and then thumbed off the mark her lips made. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” he murmured, patting her ass, “c’mon, go on.”

“Someone’s eager to get me wet and naked,” she said, voice cheeky and sultry all at once as she winked.

He leveled her with a flat look and her cackle, indicating she was pleased with the reaction he’d given her, followed her as she waltzed into the master bath, her hips swaying hypnotically.

Lorcan hadn’t been sure when he would ask her, but tonight was perfect.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Elide toweled her hair dry after changing into a crewneck from her alma mater and a pair of her boyfriend’s boxers. Hair damp, she threw it up in a messy bun as she walked down the stairs, able to see Lorcan at the stove, his back to her.

Hellas was curled on the staircase landing and she scooped the three-month old puppy up, putting him on his feet. He bounded down the stairs, tail wagging as his nails clicked on the hardwood floors. Lorcan leaned down, not taking his eyes off the saucepan to scratch Hellas’ belly when the dog practically threw himself down at Lorcan’s feet and whined softly.

Elide laughed softly and walked down the rest of the stairs, crossing the open-plan floor of their apartment. She stopped by the wine cooler, browsing for a moment before choosing a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, one that paired well with the creamy and rich pasta alla vodka she loved.

They didn’t speak as she sat herself on a barstool that opposed the stove, set in their kitchen island. Lorcan smiled as she passed him his glass and sipped lightly, nodding at the flavour. “Solid choice, babe.”

Elide laughed at his commentary and drank from her own glass, moaning softly, “If this wine was a person, would you be mad if I left you for them?”

“Like I wouldn’t be the one to leave,” he snorted, lifting the wooden to her lips. “Taste.”

It was delicious, buttery, tomato-y, creamy, rich – “Oh, fuck that’s good. This is, like… head worthy.”

“Keeping it classy as always, are we, Lochan?”

“Only way I know how,” she said, wiggling her brows as she took another sip of her wine, the slightly acidic notes and citrusy undertones cutting through the velvety heaviness of the sauce. “This is the life, you know.”

“Oh, really? Elaborate, if you will, princess,” Lorcan drawled, expertly tearing leaves from the basil plant they had on the black marble countertop and chopping them up, the sharp knife merely a flash of silver.

“Cute dog, lovely apartment, a pretty man to make me pasta whenever I ask for it… every girl’s dream,” she said. “I’m a very lucky gal.”

His eyes softened, the shade of his irises melting into liquid obsidian. Lorcan spoke, his voice quiet, “I like to think I’m the lucky one.” There was a certain intimate happiness, domestic bliss to have her bare faced, hair messy, wearing an old, faded sweater and underwear. Gods, he loved her.

Elide’s face softened as well, her grin small. “I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree,” she whispered, running the tip of her index finger over the rim of her glass.

Soon enough, Lorcan placed her dish and a fresh glass of wine before her on the little table. They were on their living room balcony, their dog curled up inside on the L-shaped couch, his snout tucked against his side.

Elide had her feet in Lorcan’s lap, her legs stretched out beneath the table. As they ate, he kept one hand on her right ankle, thumb steady over scarred flesh as he traced gentle patterns over the mangled skin.

They talked about absolutely everything and utterly nothing at the same time as they ate, wrapped up in their own little world.

When the dishes were clean, the bottle of wine empty, Lorcan cleared the table, his heart practically throwing itself against his ribcage, similar to how a wave would smash against a cliff, over and over, harsh, and vicious each time.

Elide noticed it as he pulled her into his lap, but he didn’t give in to the feel of her stare on his face. Instead, he kept his gaze on the city. Despite the late time – far past midnight – it was still bustling. “What’s wrong?”

Her fingers ghosted over his face, gripping his chin, and turning his head to her. “Baby?”

“I have a question for you.”

“Don’t hold me in suspense,” she quipped, whatever had been clouding her eyes in worry dissipating.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Elide said, a look of confusion passing over her face.

“And I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he continued, smiling as tears sprung up in her eyes and she realized. Lorcan dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out the ring, a simple silver band and a kite-cut black diamond.

“Oh,” she gasped, her hand coming to rest on her throat.

“Every day, I want with you. Remember a while back, you had gone out with the girls and I came to pick you up and you asked me why you?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, biting the inside of her cheek. “You didn’t say anything.”

“Because I didn’t know why, I just knew. Nothing else, nobody else makes sense, except for you. You’re the only person I want to commit marriage fraud with, the only person I’d make pasta for at,” he glanced at his watch, a rough chuckle escaping his lips, “…3:27am. Marry me.”

“That’s not a question,” she whispered, smiling so widely, her nose scrunching up. “Not exactly giving me oodles of options.”

“Do you need them,” he questioned her, raising a brow as his heart lodged itself in his throat.

“No, I don’t need them. Of course, I’ll marry you. Yes, yes, yes,” she said, sitting up to straddle his lap as he took her hand and slid the ring on her finger. “Perfect fit.” Her hands gently cupped his face, like they always did before she kissed him.

Her lips were soft against his, slow and searching as his rough hands gripped her thighs. Elide deepened the embrace as she looped an arm around his neck and fisted her other hand in his shirt, holding him tight to her.

Lorcan obliged her demand, pulling her closer with his arms around her slim waist. Elide nipped his bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth and caressing it with her tongue before letting go. He let loose a groan, looking up at her with lidded eyes.

Elide brushed his hair back from his brow, “Do you think Fen and Mia are going to yell at us for getting engaged on their wedding day?” They would keep it quiet, of course, not at all wanting to take away from their friends’ day. But their group were a perceptive bunch and even if she didn’t wear her ring, they would sniff it out somehow.

Especially Aelin and Rowan. They were like Gossip Girl, secrets just went to them, like moths to a flame.

Lorcan shrugged and stood up, wrapping her legs around his waist, his hands sliding to lock beneath her ass. “They’ll yell at us for doing it today and yell at us for not telling them. There’s no good option.”

She laughed, tilting her head back as he walked them to their bedroom. “We are a loud bunch, hmm?”

“Just a bit.”

Elide smiled down at him and Lorcan thanked the gods for her, for the chance to make her smile like that every day for the rest of their lives.

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: hehe we done! thank you all for reading 🥺 i loved writing this and i may have....like.....a new project or whatever.....

@mythicaitt @tinywolfofeyllwe @schmlip-scribble @the-regal-warrior @westofmoon @empire-of-wildfire @rhysands-highlady @city-of-fae @shyvioletcat @alifletcher2012 @tangledraysofsunshine @ttakeitbacknoww @tswaney17 @ourbooksuniverse @flora-and-fae @thesirenwashere e @queenofxhearts @maastrash @mynewdreamwasyou @cursebreaker29 @superspiritfestival @yikesitsmaddie @flowerspringsea @queen-of-glass @sleeping-and-books s @b00kworm @bat-wing-rhys @poisonous00 @empress-ofbloodshed @feyrethedarklady @gorl-power @keshavomit @ifinallygavein @rosegoldannie @pilesoffriles @julemmaes @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @januarystears

#too late to turn back now #tlttbn epilogue #the proposal au #elorcan #elide x lorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #isa writes #nalgenewhore

[bellafarella]

Uncle Mickey

So I’m sure y’all have seen this picture :

Well, this adorable picture gave me inspiration to write this little piece of Mickey babysitting Franny for the afternoon, fluff and cuteness ahead.

Hope you enjoy! 💖

you can also read it here

**********************************************

Somehow Mickey got roped into babysitting. That’s why he’s at the Gallagher house - home, mid-morning with Franny. Kid’s cute but Mickey’s never spent alone time with her. He’s been married and living at the Gallagher house - taking over the boys room and making it their own - for six months now and the only times Mickey has spent with the little redhead girl is when Debbie is there or Ian is. He’s babysat her with Ian before but this is the first time without him. Debbie’s at something important that she didn’t wanna fucking say and Ian’s working so he got roped into watching her for the day. 

It’s nearing lunch and he could eat - not knowing what else to do with the kid, he says, “Hey, you hungry?”

She looks up at him from where she’s sitting next to him on the sofa. Franny nods with a smile on her face. She asks, “Can we get McDonalds?”

Fuck yeah we can get McDonalds, he thinks, trying to avoid swearing so much in front of her as per Debbie’s request. What he says is, “That’s a good idea actually.”

Franny bounces in her seat as Mickey gets up. “Common,” he tells her before making sure he has what he needs - phone, wallet, keys. Franny runs over to the entrance to grab her little shoes and put them on. It’s spring so it’s not too chilly out but Mickey tells Franny to run up and get a sweater before they leave.

Mickey’s wearing some dark jeans with a black tank top and a flannel grey shirt on top. They make their way down the stairs and when they leave the property to head towards the El, Franny takes his hand. It’s only a couple stops to the closest McDonalds. Franny sits on his lap in the train and an elderly woman smiles at them as she sits down across from them. “Aren’t you sweet.”

Franny smiles at her and says, “I’m Franny and this is my Uncle Mickey.” 

“Why you tellin’ people who we are,” he says to the little girl but he can’t help the little smile from spreading on his face hearing her call him that. She didn’t call him Uncle Mickey until a couple months into him living at the Gallagher house. He was just Mickey before, even though he and Ian were already married. 

“Hello Franny and Uncle Mickey,” the old woman says. 

Mickey smiles at her before the train stops. “Let’s go,” he says, picking Franny up off his lap and putting her down as he stands. She takes his hand and they walk towards the door. “Say bye to the nice lady.”

“Bye,” Franny says in her little voice as she waves at the lady with her free hand.

They walk the few blocks to the McDonald’s the whole time Franny asking Mickey “do you love it?” about anything she sees or thinks about. 

“Stop asking me stupid fucking questions,” He tells her and she just looks up at him and blinks. He lets her run inside the McDonald’s when they get there - all the way to the counter. “I want a happy meal,” Franny says from where she’s standing by the display of the toys that could be in her happy meal. 

“Okay let me get a happy meal for the kid and a big mac trio for me, coke for the drink,” Mickey tells the cashier. “What do you want to drink?” He yells to Franny.

“Apple juice!” She says, bouncing her way back over to him.

“And apple juice,” he repeats before paying for their meals. They stand off to the side, in front of the display where Franny talks to him about what each toy's name is and what they do. He just nods along, not paying any attention. 

The girl calls their order so he takes their tray and Franny follows him to a booth. They sit next to each other, eating their meals. The kid has her mouth full, ketchup smeared on her cheek and Mickey can’t help but laugh. He takes his phone out of his pocket and tells her to look at him. He snaps a picture of it and sends it to Ian and Debbie in a new group chat before putting his phone on the table and grabbing some fries, dunking them in barbecue sauce. 

His phone dings a few times so he picks it up and sure enough it’s the two ginger siblings fawning over how cute Franny is and Ian saying how cute Mickey is to have brought her to ‘Mickey Dees’. He sends at least six middle finger emojis back before putting his phone back down and listening as Franny taps at his arm wanting to ask him about her toy that she got - she got the one she wanted in the happy meal. 

*

After McDonald’s, they start walking when Franny spots a park, she asks them if they can go so he says why not, not knowing what else he was gonna do with her anyway until Ian or Debbie gets back. 

Mickey sits on the bench and smokes a cigarette as he watches Franny run around with her happy meal toy, showing it to other kids. He laughs as he watches her go up to the slide and go down head first, little badass. 

Mickey has time to smoke a couple of cigarettes as he watches Franny the entire time. Debbie threatened his life if anything were to happen to her precious angel under his watch. He’s seen what she can do, he definitely doesn’t want to fuck with her.

“Uncle Mickey!” Franny yells as she runs over to him. “Can you push me on the swing?”

“Sure,” he tells her, blowing the last of his smoke out of his nose. He tosses the butt of the cigarette to the side and follows where she leads him to the swing set. 

Mickey pushes her higher and higher as she laughs and squeals, gripping onto the chains of the swing, her toy secure in Mickey’s pocket where she didn’t want to lose it. He pushes her until his arms get a little tired then it’s time to go. He pulls his phone out of his pocket as they make their way through the park. He’s got a missed text from Debbie saying she’ll be home within the hour. Perfect. 

Mickey tells the kid and then takes her little hand in his before heading to the El and making their way back home. 

*

“I’m home!” Debbie yells as she opens the back door. 

“Mommy!” Franny squeals, hopping off the sofa and meeting her by the doorway separating the kitchen and living room. Franny hugs her mom where Debbie crouched down to squeeze her and kiss her head. 

“How was your day with Uncle Mickey?” Debbie asks her.

“So much fun!” She squeals, jumping up and down a little. “We went to McDonald’s and to the park!”

“Wow, what a fun day,” Debbie tells her, a grin on her face.

“And look what I got!” Franny shows her the toy from the happy meal.

“That’s great, baby.” Debbie pats her head and walks back to the kitchen. “Want a beer?” She yells over to Mickey.

Mickey yells back, “Yeah.” She makes her way back over with two open beer bottles, passing him one. She sits down next to him with hers, taking a long sip. 

“Your kid talks a whole fuckin’ lot,” Mickey informs her after taking his own long sip.

Debbie chuckles. “Did she ask you if you love it?”

“Non fucking stop!” Mickey can’t help but laugh with Debbie. “She’s cute though.”

“Damn straight.”

*

Ian gets home right before dinner, making his way inside after toeing off his shoes at the front door. He finds Mickey in the kitchen at the table with Franny and Debbie’s cooking dinner. “Hey guys,” he greets them.

“Uncle Ian!” Franny says turning to look at him. Ian grins at her and makes his way over when she says, “Look at our drawings!”

Ian grins at his little niece, taking her face and kissing it making her giggle. He looks at her drawing and one of Mickey’s and they’re both the same, it’s the two of them standing outside of McDonald’s. “Very nice drawings,” Ian tells her, ruffling her hair a little.

She giggles and grabs her drawing, running to show Debbie around the corner. Ian bends down and kisses Mickey on the lips softly once, twice, caresses his cheek with the back of his fingers, and kisses him one more time before taking Franny’s seat next to his husband. 

Mickey shakes his head, blush creeping up his neck. “Missed you today, looks like you two had a lot of fun,” Ian tells him, squeezing his thigh.

“Yeah, it was alright,” he says. “Missed you too.” Ian grins at him, making Mickey smile back before rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his beer.

“Stop blushing, Mick,” Ian teases him.

 “Shut up man,” Mickey says, making Ian chuckle. “She’s just fucking like you, never shuts up.” Ian’s laugh comes full force that it gets Mickey going too. “You’re the worst.”

“You love me though,” Ian says when his laughter subsides. He rubs his hand up and down Mickey’s leg when he says it too, getting him a little nervous, he can tell. 

“Can’t imagine why,” Mickey teases.

“Mmm, why don’t I show you why,” Ian flirts, digging his nails a little into his thigh.

“Settle down boys, it’s dinner time,” Debbie says as she makes her way over, dumping a huge pot of pasta on the table. 

“I’m gonna wash up,” Ian says as he stands. Before leaving the table the two feet to wash his hands in the washroom off the stairs, he leans over Mickey again to kiss him softly, winking at him.

Mickey watches him go, butterflies constantly in his stomach whenever he’s with Ian - that feeling never going away or dimming, not in the years they’ve been together, not since being married. It might have even gotten worse since they tied the knot. Mickey’s always in a state of will today be the day my heart beats out of my fucking chest?

Mickey watches him go and thinks that if this is how days will end with Ian after spending the afternoon with his new niece then he’ll happily watch her whenever Debbie needs him too.

#my fic #mickey milkovich #franny gallagher #ian x mickey #gallavich #gallavich fic #gallavich fanfic #ian x mickey fan fic #also read on ao3 #ao3 fic #ao3 fanfic #ian gallagher #debbie gallagher #shameless us #future fic #fluff #husbands #uncle mickey #MY HEART

[dickbaggins]

Brank orphan train au?!?!??!?👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 please, fucking tell!!!!

oh god okay

okay

(orphan train in case anyone wants info)

okay okay so it’s the turn of the century and of course Billy is a streetwise orphan in new york, he’s 17 now but he’s been on his own as long as he can remember. He’s survived alright but he runs afoul of a street gang and some trouble he can’t talk OR stab his way out of. All his life, he’s dodged the orphan train but it looks like his last best chance at making it to adulthood, so he puts on his best meek face, heads on over to the nearest catholic church and spins them a tale so sad, he’s on the next train west. 

It’s harder for the older kids; most of the boys his age get snapped up by farms in New Jersey and Pennsylvania and Ohio pretty quickly, but no one wants the skinny sad-eyed boy clutching his dead mother’s rosary (a cunning cover he stole back in the city). It’s on the way back that the older couple grimly nods at each other, says a few words in broken english and signs something, and thus begins his new life with the Castiglione family in the pastoral New Jersey countryside. 

His Italian’s as bad as their english but they make do on the cart ride through dirt roads. He’s scared, a little, but the woman shares half an apple and tells him about all the Russos she knew back home. It’s a winding journey through steep hills and Billy doesn’t even know how long it takes, like the fresh air and sweet late summer breeze render time a little useless anyway. He’s never seen so much sky. He doesn’t totally hate it. 

Billy hates it even less when he sees the burly young man waiting at the white gate outside the orchard. He swings himself up on the cart and when the woman introduces him as Francesco, he goes a little pink, offers his hand to shake and says “Frank, ma, please.” He’s big everywhere Billy’s skinny, tanned where his shirtsleeves are rolled up and under the billowy gaps of his plain shirt over his chest. Billy’s just about to say something when the house comes into view.

And he’s heard horror stories from other orphans who’ve gone to the country and come back. One room shacks on hundreds of acres, where everyone has to sleep together on a dirt floor in front of a tiny stove, next to sacks of potatoes and with rats everywhere. But this house knocks the breath clear out of him, as much as Frank’s big leg knocking against his in the cart’s close quarters. Two storeys, pristine white with gardens all around. Two barns, a maze of fences and gates. As big an estate as some of the mansions behind wrought iron back in the city. As big as that but a hundred times friendlier.

He’s still quiet while Frank shows him around; there’s too much to see and he’s warm in his itchy travelling clothes and he can’t decide if he’s just (finally finally) lucky or if he doesn’t deserve any of this at all and it’s some kind of mistake and tomorrow someone’s going to come and drag him away. And Frank is so fucking sweet, easygoing and not at all awkward about all the silence. The house smells incredible, the woodstove taken up with all manner of pots and pans, red sauce bubbling and sausages frying and he wants to scoop it up with his bare hands and stuff his face.

But Frank pulls him into a room off to the side, where there’s two slim beds, a dresser and a washstand. And he sheepishly apologies that they’re going to have to share a room but says he made the bed himself and it takes a second for Billy to register that he meant he made the entire fucking bed with his hands and likewise Frank doesn’t quite understand what Billy means when he sits down slow on it and says he’s never had his own bed before. 

ANYWAY they Fall In Love while Frank shows him how to do All the Farm Stuff, Frank joins the army which was why they wanted to adopt Billy in the first place, but comes back home after his dad dies or he gets hurt or both. Maybe there’s some kind of plot in there! Or maybe it’s just sweet farm boys fuckin’ around idk.

I read a deeply unsatisfying ‘lesbian’ western once called ‘Bittersweet’ where they mostly just Struggled and literally kissed one time in a hayloft and never ever fucked but were supposedly in love and ever since that disappointing 400+page experience I’ve wanted to write a better version so I think my brain kind of wants this to be that? who knows! It’s good for daydreaming though!

#brank #i guess #my half-baked ideas are now Content #thank you for asking also #<333 #gollyderek

[indigosandviolets]

Because I'm hungry... Cooking headcanons for Band of Brothers? Like can they cook and what do they like to cook, what do they mess up and how?

oh my god, this sounds hilarious!

Winters: Our good ol’ Major Winters doesn’t really cook a lot, but he does like to bake here and there (his apple pie is to DIE for). However, he has tried his hand at cooking cooking, and ended up burning the shit out of some hash browns and eggs.

Nixon: Nixon is actually really good at cooking. He’s great at making fajitas, but this boy cannot make rice for the life of him. He either puts in too much water or not enough. He just can’t get it right.

Welsh: Welsh makes breakfast in bed for kitty all the time. His specialty? Belgian Waffles. He even makes a blueberry sauce to go on top. This man loves his wife to death, and if those waffles were anything less than perfect he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

Lipton: Lip is great at cooking. If it’s in a Martha Stewart cookbook, he can make it. However, baking? He can’t do it. Paul Hollywood would berate the hell of out of his bakes if he was on GBBO.

Spiers: Ronald Spiers does not cook. He gets too aggressive when something doesn’t go exactly right. However, he can make pretty good cocktails.

Randleman: You better believe this southern boy can cook AND bake. He uses all the passed down recipes and eyeballs almost everything and it always turns out amazing. The thing he does best though? Lemon bars. No one can ever get enough of them.

Malarkey: You remember how Malarkey was cooking in the truck at the end of Day of Days? Well, he likes to think he can cook. He’s not great, but it’s not terrible. He’s improved a lot, but he wouldn’t always be someone’s first choice for dinner. (he prefers takeout anyway). His favorite thing to cook is fried cabbage (it’s the Irish in him.)

Guarnere: Guarnere is a mean spaghetti cooker. That’s why he’s so pissed during Currahee. He would’ve killed to be able to actually make the men some proper Italian food. When he’s cooking alone, he’ll actually talk like he’s on a cooking show and it’s the funniest thing to ever witness.

Roe: Doc is good at cooking, but he sometimes overthinks a recipe. There is one tried and true thing for him to bake and those are his grandmother’s biscuits. He also makes jams from time to time to go on them. They’re simple, but they’re good.

Luz: Luz is great at breakfast foods. Toast, omelets, pancakes, you name it. When it gets passed that, though? He cannot do anything for the life of him. He can barely make a box of Mac ‘n’ Cheese.

Toye: Toye doesn’t really have the patience to cook. He wishes he did, but he just doesn’t. If it’s quick, he’ll cook it, but if it takes longer than 30 minutes he starts to get frustrated. He does make pretty good coffee though.

Liebgott: Liebgott will yell at inanimate objects while he cooks (i.e. for the love of shit, will you please stop poppin’ in my fuckin’ face?) but he’s really good at it. Every time anyone comes over, they always ask for latkes (it’s his specialty).

Perconte: Perconte can make some pretty good ramen. That’s about it.

Martin: Martin is a very intense cook. He does not speak until after he’s finished. The best thing he can cook is shrimp scampi, and you better believe he puts every last ounce of work into it (or, if Luz is over, he gets Luz to do all the mundane work).

Babe: Babe tries! He tries so hard! He’ll stick the tip of his tongue out while he’s cooking because he’s so focused on getting everything right. He can make some pretty good scrambled eggs and toast, but if you give that boy a recipe with more than six steps? He starts to freak out a bit.

Webster: Webster cooks with ease (probably because he can understand a recipe in like two seconds) and he often diviates and creates his own thing based on the recipe. He loves making German and Polish recipes, those are some of his favorites.

#band of brothers headcanon #richard winters #dick winters #lewis nixon #carwood lipton #ronald spiers #bull randleman #doc roe #eugene roe #donald malarkey #george luz #bill guarnere #joseph toye #joe toye #joe liebgott #joseph liebgott #frank perconte #johnny martin #harry welsh #babe heffron #edward heffron #david webster

[sirsapling]

MORE TAGGED POSTS

I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO. 

I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle​

Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.

A fresh Buzz cut

Talking to @bardingbeedle​

Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates

Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.

Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor​

top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)

favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.

white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.

favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.

how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.

(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)

favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly

favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.

pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.

favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)

your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.

favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.

the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.

favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs):  Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories

Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.

Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909​

Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Carol Danvers - Marvel 616

Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates

Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist

Martha Jones - Doctor Who

Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)

Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99

Ann Perkins  - Parks and Rec

Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman

Pam Poovey - Archer

LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.

Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff​

look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.

Fanfic trope meme

I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars​ and @crownofstardustandbone​

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it  // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates  // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend  // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.

And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.

tagged by @bardingbeedle​ the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)

What is your favourite candy bar?

Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.

What is the last thing you said out loud?

‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.

Do you like your wallet?

Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin

What was the last thing you ate?

See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.

The last sporting event you watched?

F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret​ introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad. 

Ever go camping?

Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.

Do you take vitamins?

Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.

Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.

Do you have a tan?

I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.

What colour socks do you usually wear?

Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.

What terrifies you?

Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,

Look to your left, what do you see?

The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.

What chore do you hate?

Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

@s-hylor​

What’s your favourite soda?

See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.

Who’s the last person you talked to?

@downeyhills​

Favourite cut of beef?

I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.

Last song you listened to?

Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose

I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.

Last book you read?

Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud

Favourite day of the week?

Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin​ and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can barely say it forwards.

How do you like your coffee?

With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.

Favourite pair of shoes?

I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).

The time you normally go to sleep?

9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.

The time you normally get up?

5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.

How many blankets on your bed?

One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.

Describe your kitchen plates

Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars

Do you play cards?

Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.

What colour is your car?

Again, I do not drive. 

Can you change a tire?

I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.

How did you get your biggest scar?

I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park. 

#text post #tagged in #wow long post #wow x2 #tag memes