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arty-shadow-morningstar · 2 years

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Graveyard Siblings (11)

What the shit is this text limit thing? Someone tell me how to get around it.

Edit: I think I fixed it

[Masterlist]

(Part 1)-(Part 10)

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Jason came up with the idea for a bucket list of what Maria wants to do before experiencing death for a second time.

The other Bat kids pitched in some ideas. Maria got one of Jason’s old Red Hood helmets for them to put suggestions on on slips of paper and she read them out one by one if it would go on her official list or not. (Some of them might have been from Bruce but no one is really sure.)

“Visit Hawaii. This is definitely from Duke. So cliche for a bucket list.”

“I am just saying B is a billionaire and you are a millionaire yourself. A trip to Hawaii is easy for you. You can even buy your own island if you wanted to.”

“Good point. Buy a private island.” Maria wrote it down on her list.

“I call dibs on the island.” Stephanie said.

“I will leave the Buginette Isle to my dear sister/friend Stephanie Brown in my will.”

“Come on. I gave you the idea. Not fair.” Duke complained.

“Fine, you get 45% of the island since you give the idea but Step called dibs first so she gets the other 55%.”

“What are you kids doing?” Bruce said as he got back home from WE with Tim in tow.

“Maria is going to leave 55% of her new island to me and the rest of it to Duke in her will.”

Maria picked another one from the pill bucket.

“Prank Ra’s. Yes. Definitely going on the list.”

“No.”

“Come on, B. I have done it like a dozen times before. One more for old times’ sake. It’s not like it’s going to hurt the guy.”

“You did what before? When?”

Cue Maria retelling some of the pranks she had pulled on the Head of the League of Assassins over the years.

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. “Why am I not surprised? Just don’t get caught.”

“Promise. Thank you, B.” Bruce grunted before going in search of some aspirin.

“Next one. Hide and Seek in IKEA? Sounds fun.” (*wink*)

“How about this one? Steal the Batmobile and enter a drag race with it.” Tim read. “This has Jason written all over it.”

“On the list. Next one, Buy, with the ‘me’ crossed out, a peacock. Alright, one peacock for Damian Wayne.”

“Yes! I mean..tt whatever.”

“Take good care of Marin the peacock when I am gone, okay?”

“Because such a magnificent animal deserves the best that I can accept this condition and Marin is an adequate name for a peacock.”

“Why, thank you, Damian. Name it after one of the best people I know. Right, try skinny dipping. No. Never. Absolutely not. Who suggested this?”

“It was me.” Stephanie admitted. “Do it you coward.”

“Nope. Next one. Beat the highest free-falling record. Bet. How high is the current one?”

A while later,

“Waffle eating contest. Steph, yes, I will do this. Steal one thing from each of the Justice League members. All of them?”

“No, just the core members.”Dick said, “Maybe from the Titans. And the Young Justice. And the Outlaws. Not us though.”

“I can do part of this with this next one. Steal Kypto and hide him from the Supers. Isn’t that Superman’s dog?”

“Yes.” Tim answered

“Okay, I think we are nearly done with this list. Oh, I nearly forgot.” Maria said as she scribbled her next thing for her very long bucket list.

Jason read over her shoulder, “Fulfil lifelong dream of owning a hamster and naming it-”

The alarm for when an Arkham breakout happens rang on everyone’s phone.

“Damn. We can finish up later. Thanks for today, guys.”

-----

Jason and Maria go coffin shopping like shopping for a new car and slowly freaking out the coffin maker. Maria, lying in a coffin: I mean this one is nice but I feel like there is something missing. Jason: What about your old one? M, gets out of the coffin: Jason, I was 16 when I died. J: So? M: It means it won’t fit me anymore. I have grown a lot taller since then. Also I punched my way out so there is a hole in it. I don’t want any dirt touching my corpse. J: You punched your way out? That’s gotta hurt. M: Not everyone was buried with a belt buckle. If you recall, I was wearing a dress. A nice one but it had no belt buckle. Maybe I should have some brass knuckle when I am buried. They continue looking. M: Do you think I should custom order one where it opens up from the inside? J: Go for it. Have fun digging through 6 feet of dirt. M: Son of a bitch, I forgot about the dirt. J: I think I saw Timmy once drew some designs for coffins when one of us has to fake our deaths and be buried alive to sell the act. M: You think he can help? J: Let’s go ask him. M: Sure. I can’t find what I want here anyway. Coffin Maker as they leave: Fucking rich people.

-----

Everytime, Mari and any of the Bats who get into trouble along with her, Hell-bat pulls out the ‘I am dying soon and this was on my bucket list’ card on Batman. Batman just sighed and let them off the hook.

-----

Harley: Kid, you know that I have done some crazy stuff but this is one of the craziest activities I have participated in.

M: My last funeral was shitty. I wanted to plan my own funeral this time.

Ivy: So why are we doing this exactly?

M: Oh, right, I haven’t told you guys yet. Once I get my revenge on the dick who made my life hell for years, the universe will send me back to where I am supposed to be.

H: Oh. Yea, where’s that, sweetie?

M: The Afterlife.

Selina: You are dying? Again?!

Ivy and Harley: Again?!

------

“Todd-Wayne, please tell me that you are joking?!” Chloe shrieked in disbelief “But I thought you said that the spell was what brought you back.”

Kagami was trying to calm a distressed Chloe and still processing the information that her first friend was going to die. Again.

Luka put a hand on her shoulder, “Tell us it’s not true, Melody.”

Alix stayed quiet through the entire exchange.

“Alix, say something. Tell her to stop pranking us.”

The Rabbit wielder just looked away from everyone’s gaze. She looked unusually sombre as she said softly, “It’s true, Chloe. Maria. She has to go back after Gabriel is done. That was the deal and Fluff explained it to me. It involved a lot of talk about balance, the scales tipping from creation to destruction and it being maintained.”

“Bullshit. If that were true, Maria would still stay here with us. To celebrate that scumbag’s defeat together. But the moment that no-good spineless butterfly man meets his due, Maria has to go. It’s not fair. It’s just ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.”

Chloe throws her one of her infamous tantrums while the others try to calm her down from it.

It was hours later after many tears were shed, pillows and other objects were thrown, shouting that all of Paris probably heard, the group was found in a human pile on the ground. Simply hugging each other for what might be the last time they would see their dear friend again.

“Guys, I have to go.” Mari said as she tried to pry off a sleeping Chloe’s grip of steel so she could head back to her room to sleep. To her surprise, Kagami took her hand and rested her head on Mari’s shoulder. “Stay with us for a little while longer, Mari-hime.”

Alix and Luka nodded in agreement. “Just for a while longer, Melody.”

“Who knows it might be the last time we will see each other again.”

“Okay.” Maria sighed and smiled, “Just a little while longer.”

-----

“Pixie? What are you doing up here?”

“Today’s the big day.” Mari tried and failed to sound excited about the prospect of Gabriel Agreste finally meeting his doom. “Last time I will ever see the sun rise in Gotham like this.”

They were on the roof of Wayne Enterprise.

Red Hood sat next to Hellbat and wrap his arm around her shoulder.

After a moment of silence, “I will miss you, Pixie.”

“I will miss you too. You big sentimental oaf.”

“I am trying to have a nice moment with you here. Since it’s like your last day or something.”

Maria softened at that, “Hood, no. Jay, (insert sentimental declaration. Reminder that he still has the rest of the Batfam and he doesn’t have to grief alone. Extract promise of not doing anything stupid.) I don’t want to see you on the other side any time soon. Now, shut up and watch the sunrise with me.”

—---

Gabriel at the other side of the world was on edge. He hadn’t slept at all last night, willing Natalie to turn back a minute before sunrise.

But that didn’t happen and he knew that Doomsday was upon him.

Over the past few days, he had grown incredibly paranoid and try to find ways to escape his supposed ‘fate’. He wondered how Ladybug was planning to bring about his downfall.

Natalie watched her boss with worry in both human and bird form as he came up with possible ways his ‘downfall’ might go.

(insert that meme with guy with a crazed look in his eyes in front of a wall filled with theories and red string.)

“Gabriel Agreste,” a familiar voice called out although it was firm and strong and no longer riddled with anxiety it had when it was under Gabriel’s care.

Gabriel turned to the voice and saw the butterfly kwami, looking at him with a grin that was similar to a cat that caught a canary.

“Nooroo. I order you to tell me what Ladybug was planned for me.”

“Well, Master,” the kwami mockingly said the title, “In case you have forgotten. You no longer have my Miraculous and it is under the Guardian’s protection. You can’t control me. Not anymore.”

“Then, where is your Guardian?”

“She will be here shortly. But Dusuu and I were tasked with ‘warming’ you up for the big event.”

“Dusuu?”

“Someone called my name?” The blue kwami appeared with a sinister smile on their face.

“What are you going to do?” Gabriel asked, fearful of the kwamis who once cowered under him and looked more than happy for some payback.

“I won’t give you all the details but did you know that kwamis aren’t allowed to use their powers without a holder to buffer it?” Dusuu started and they started glowing a bright blue.

“Without a holder, our powers are unpredictable and powerful enough to effect reality. The Guardian just gave us free pass to use them on you.” Nooroo continued, also glowing.

Gabriel tried to run but his limbs appeared to be frozen in place and he can’t move. Later, he realised the reason behind his immobilisation is the thin glowing purple string that is attached to his joints. Dusuu giggled and moved their flippers so Gabriel is standing up straight.

Nooroo and Dusuu laughed at the sight of despair on his face.

He tried calling for Natalie, only of Dusuu to say, “Don’t bother. We paid her a visit earlier. Currently, she’s in the same coma, Emilie was in when she used my broken Miraculous. This is your punishment from us, Gabie, you made us nothing more than your puppets so let’s see how you like it.”

The kwamis made Gabriel do a lot of embarrassing poses and lots of other embarrassing things. Soon, they got bored of it.

“This isn't very fun now. I am bored.” Dusuu whined as they watched Gabriel tried to do a tik tok dance Tim showed them a few days ago.

Nooroo contemplated what to do to his old holder for a moment and whispered his idea into the other kwamis’s ear(?). Dusuu giggled, “Didn’t know you would be willing to go that far, Nooroo.” but gestured with their flippers.

Gabriel went slack like a puppet that had its strings cut and his head hit hard on the floor in the process.

Maintaining any dignity he had left, he asked, “If I ever get my hands on your Miraculouses again, I will make you pay.”

“But you can’t. Even though you know who our Guardian is, you can’t do anything against her because she has a powerful family backing her who has more wealth that you ever had at the height of your career. And right now, you have no one. No wife and no son. Your lovely ‘assistant’ is missing and of no help. You have no power and time is the only thing standing between you and bankruptcy. In addition, she has allied herself with the Justice League which I am sure you know has members who are literal gods.” Nooroo replied calmly with a hint of malicious glee.

“Now, to prep you for your meeting with the Guardian.” Dusuu clapped their flippers and it made a thunderous clap that was possibly felt by the entire world.

Nooroo began ominously sing in another language, his voice low and haunting. Dusuu joined in, harmonising at a higher pitch and making the song more beautiful and even more haunting.

Gabriel tried to grab the Kwamis to stop them from whatever their attempting but it fails as the kwamis simply flew higher and out of his reach, still singing that ominous melody.

Gabriel then felt a heaviness in his heart like someone had put chains on it. The heaviness got heavier with each note of the song.

It was the pain, grief and sorrow of losing something important. The anger, frustration and injustice at the world. The fear of monsters roaming the streets. He was feeling every negative emotions every Parisian had bottled up so they wouldn’t be his victim and hurt their love ones. Their friends and family. He was feeling it all at once.

He screamed and cried and screamed again. For a man who was rarely in touch with his emotions, good or bad, it was too much to feel what 2 million people had bottled in for years.

He then felt a heavy pressure on his shoulders, pushing him down and making him go on his knees, almost begging.

He didn’t even know that he was screaming at the kwamis to stop until Nooroo coldly told him, “Stop? You don’t deserve such mercy. This is what Ladybug had to go through because of your foolishness and greed for power. As everyone she knew turned their backs away and pushed her down into the ground, she held in every emotions she felt so you wouldn’t take control of her. She felt the same pressure of you are feeling now as she saved this city over and over again from your madness. You ruined a girl’s life who had nothing to do with you in order to achieve your goal. You may not have been the one to hold the knife and stabbed her in the back but you are the one who killed her soul.”

Then Gabriel felt every cuts, bruises, broken bones and death. Every injuries and death the people of Paris had suffered at the hands of his akumas, he went through each and every one of them. He burned, he drowned, he froze until some of his toes and fingers fell off, he was crushed, he suffocated and he was stabbed and laid bleeding. You get the idea.

After each ‘death’, when he opened his eyes again, his body would be whole and healthy, a moment of relief before the cycle of pain starts again.

There were a lot of voices. Some screaming along with him in pain or in fear. Others were yelling or whispering him that he did this and he deserve this. It was his sins to bear. This was the consequences of his actions and his wife left him because she knew and was disgusted with the man he had become.

It felt like years as he laid on the ground and screaming until his throat hurts and was raw. He didn’t notice that the kwamis were gone and the sun had rose. He didn’t the front door opened and the clicking of heels that made their way towards him.

He did notice when the white heels was in front of him and their owner was looking down on him.

Through the haze of pain, he recognised her face. The one behind everything. Who spent years planning out his downfall and finally faced him one more time to finish the job. She grinned down at him like some angel of Death.

Deep down, he knew that he did this to himself. He was only using Emilie as an excuse to reshape the world the way he wanted. When he found out that the wish would have consequences, he was in too deep to turn back and instead used his son so he would be spared from karma. Looks like he was wrong on that front.

“How the mighty had fallen. Tell me, Hawkmoth. How does it feel after years of fighting, only to fail?” She said standing up and looked at him like he was the dirt under her feet.

She had repeated what he had said to her years ago as she laid bleeding from the stab wound and blood on her ear lobes. The earrings in his hands after he had ripped it off. (Karma biting you in the ass now, Agreste.)

Except he wasn’t as helpless as Ladybug was back then. She wasn’t expecting her partner to betray her that day. She wasn’t also going to be expecting the knife he had hidden in his jacket as a precaution to what she might do to him.

He advanced towards her, trying to get through the pain and knife in his hand. (was it his imagination or was that a smirk on her face)

The next thing he knew, Ladybug’s white clothes were stained red as the blood from her throat spilled down. She fell, coughing up blood and struggling to breathe, some of it got onto him and then, she went still.

Gabriel laughed as he realised that it was over. He had escaped his fate once more. This time, he was going to make sure that she can’t come back. He was free from the chains of destiny.

If he can find Emilie and explained, he can still salvaged what is left of his life.

-----

(Part 12)

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Taglist: @local-witch-of-mn, @ladyqnoirr, @lolieg, @istoleyourcookies, @pale-lady-dreamer, @ichigorose, @meow-now, @demonicbusiness, @unoriginalmess, @the-drokainian, @joejosyxd

#maribat #graveyard siblings #this is the fluff #who's ready for angst

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batarella · 3 years

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3 birds 1 stone - BLUE

From a world once so cruel, that never seemed to have granted them the time enough to be together, it’d never built up into anything more perfect.

WORDS: 7785 WARNINGS: Sexual Content

MASTERLIST | 3 BIRDS 1 STONE MASTERLIST | RED | YELLOW

-----

Dick:

It was concerning how at the moment he stepped into the narrow elevator, he wasn’t the least bit surprised at the pile of animal shit at the corner. It wasn’t until the doors closed when he noticed it, or rather his nose did, and he had to clog his nostrils just so he doesn’t pass out on the floor.

“Gar!?” he yelled just as the doors opened. No one was there, save for Raven with a book sitting at the couch. She didn’t glance at him. “Gar, I swear if you took a shit in the elevato-“

“That wasn’t me!”

Gar’s voice came from the kitchen, panting and occupied with something unruly. Then he heard plates falling to the floor, breaking, then there was a whimper. Not one that came from a human.

“Then who was it!?”

His question was soon answered, when a dog, a brown-furred mutt, sprinted out into the living room with a strip of bacon lodged in its teeth. “Gar!”

“I told you!”

Gar came out of the kitchen with a leash that had been ripped. “It wasn’t me!”

“You brought a dog into the tower?!”

“It was hungry!”

The mutt had finished off the bacon and headed straight for Raven’s lap. She gave it a scratch under its ear.

“Not on the couch,” Dick said.

“But Dick-“

“You’re not allowed on the couch either,” he told Gar. The boy murmured something Dick couldn’t hear, and after a second, no longer was he a boy but a green parrot. It squealed against Dick’s ear before it flew to Raven’s book.

“Jesus-“ he rubbed his ear. “I’m not in the mood.”

“SQUAWK-,” the parrot said. “WHAT’S UP WITH YOU?”

Having some coherent answer to that would only cement it as some grueling reminder. Hell, even thinking about it hurts more than the coward’s way out of pretending the past year never even happened. But then again, here he was, back in the Titan’s Tower to escape from the love of his life he could never be with and force himself into this infernal damnation of having forever to get over her. Here. Thousands of miles away. Where he’d only have his thoughts to battle and nothing else.

But all he said was: “Nothing.”

Dick should have told her, at least. Given her that kind of closure instead of his current disappearing act without so much as a note or a text or even a notice memo at the manor’s announcement board, which Alfred insisted with there being eight kids around.

But being away will be good. For her. For him. The first step to moving on. And with that, cutting all ties. Make it hurt less for both of them.

Maybe not all ties. He’ll have to go back to Gotham soon enough. But at least he was trying something. Not like the past five, six, seven years. God, has it really been that long?

She was probably over at Tim’s office, or Jason’s apartment doing whatever. Thinking about it won't do him any good. Doesn’t mean he subconsciously won’t.

It was apparent, and out into full consciousness, when he pulled out his phone and saw her name in five missed calls, with voice messages she’s left behind. A whole lot of minutes of them, too, it seems. She’d called while he was on the plane.

He could listen to them. Hear her voice one last time. Let his mind trail away. God, he was pathetic.

Dick put it up to his ear, his other hand stuffed to his pockets as he went out to the tower’s highest balcony so at least the air wasn’t so stuffy and he wouldn’t choke so much.

He wasn’t even nervous when he heard her speak. “Hey, Dick.”

A plane. A helicopter. Some folks over at the apartment building nearby partying it out. At least he’d have something to look at. He was exhausted, too. It was eight am over at Gotham. Shouldn’t have taken the overnight flight.

“You weren’t at the manor. I tried calling there first. I wanted to see you. Call me when you get this?”

He might. After he listens to the four other messages she’d left behind.

“Hey. I know it’s only been an hour. But please call me.”

Another one.

“Dick, where are you? I hope you didn’t change your phone. or I’ll look stupid leaving all these messages behind, which I’m not about to stop doing. Call me. Please. No one knows where you are but no one’s panicking either. It’s worrying me.”

Next one. From another hour after. He’d been gone a little over ten hours since he left. If Bruce didn’t have a tracker on him, they’d have called the police by now. But he highly doubted Bruce would take the time to announce his little trip to the West Coast to everyone in the house.

“Dick, if this is you ignoring me, you’re doing a hell of a good job at it. Did I do something?”

He heard her huff over the phone. No one else seemed to be around her.

“Please, I just wanna talk. Call me.”

The last one. Sent just four hours ago, which meant she’d been awake at four in the morning.

And, on top of that, the last one was five whole minutes long.

A call to tell her she was dating Tim again? Explaining how there are no hard feelings? Catch a movie sometime? An ass of him to think she’d be that cruel, but he was jetlagged and exhausted and the smell of dog shit still hadn’t left, which could be explained because that mutt had made a home just a few feet away from where he stood.

Dick played the message despite all that. Even if she called to tell him she’s getting married. He’d answer it.

“Dick…”

He could hear the rain, sheets shuffling under her feet.

“I’m sorry…” she said. “I… I probably took too long… I guess, if you’re ignoring me, you still deserve to know. I hope you get this message. I’ll tell you now, I guess. So you won't have to respond if you don’t want to.”

Tears. He could hear her wipe them off her skin.

“I kept you waiting for… I wanna say months but it’s a lot longer than that. Years… God, and I didn’t even see it… I took too long trying to figure this all out for myself, and you just kept waiting for me. No one should be worth waiting for that long.”

He was laughing as if it were one of her god-awful jokes. Funnily enough, it was worth it. Even when it sent him nowhere in the end. All that waiting was worth it. Somehow.

“Which is why I don’t blame you. Because you shouldn’t have taken this long. I thought even if I took another few weeks before I’d have enough courage to finally ask you to be mine, you’d still be there waiting for me. Selfish as it is, but I guess that’s your fault, too. Spoiling me and whatnot. Now my expectations for men are out of hand. Sorry.”

She even fucking laughed all the while he could hear her biting back her sobs. If he were there, he’d hold her by the shoulders and squeeze the fucking sense back into her and tell her yes, I did wait for you, and I’d wait for you for a hundred more years if I had to but I know you love someone else and-

Wait.

Backtrack.

What the hell did she just say!?

“I mean, I’m…” she continued, completely ignoring his panic. Was there a rewind on this thing??? “The past two days all I did was read your letter. Over and over again, trying to find something I could have missed. I memorized it by now. I’m a wreck. I’m sorry. I know it’s all so complicated, but I can't stop thinking that if the timing had just been good to us the past few years, all this would have been so different.”

Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT, is she actually saying she-

“I’m so sorry, Dick…” she sighed. “I kept you waiting. But even if… even if you’re not anymore, I already made up my mind. I’ll be here. It’s my turn to wait for you. As long as it takes. I love yo-“

Something hit the back of his knees.

Which, unfortunately, with him not in some defensive stance, caught him in a rather vulnerable position.

And with that, Dick tumbled off his feet, almost fell off the railing, and failed to catch his phone from slipping right off his hands.

“NO!”

“DOWN BOY-SQUAWK!” Gar the parrot cried and followed the obnoxiously unruly dog running around the terrace. “SORRY, DICK!”

The dog kept running around and almost crashed to his feet twice with it being too fast even for Gar's supposedly swift wings, and if he wasn’t so frozen and horrified, watching his phone descend from almost a hundred stories above ground, he would have grabbed that mutt by the neck.

“GAR, I SWEAR TO GOD-“

“I’m sorry!” He turned back into a human and caught the dog. “It was him!”

“My fucking phone just fell over the railing!”

“Want me to go get it-“

A car alarm. He could hear it even from above. Or Gar did. Because he went to look over and caught sight of his phone breaking a car’s windshield below. He scratched the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

“I have to…” Dick pulled on his scalp. “I have to go call her.”

“Call who?!”

“Give me your phone!”

“I don’t have a phone!”

“Give me Raven’s phone!”

“She talks to people with her mind,” Gar twirled his finger against his temple. “She doesn’t need a phone!”

“Just get- UGH!”

He stormed back into the building. “Where the hell is everyone else!?”

“They’re all out of town!”

“So it’s just you and Raven in here?! Without adult supervision!?”

“Why do you think we got a dog into the building?!”

Said dog stuck his tongue out at him like it was just so awfully adorable.

“Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok.” He can do this. He can calm down. “I have to go back. Or call her at least.”

“You’re going back to Gotham now?!”

She said she’ll wait. But to hell with keeping her waiting. “Yes. I do. I’m going back now. As soon as I can call her and tell her I’m on my way-“

“I wouldn’t do that.”

Raven didn’t even look up from her book, legs up on the couch as seemingly relaxed as if the whole wreck of a home they lived in wasn’t a mess at all.

“Next flight to Gotham’s in an hour.” She levitated an apple to her mouth and took a bite. “And the one after that’s in two days.”

“Two days!?”

“Airline shutdown. Some strike is happening,” she pointed at the TV playing the news. “I’d hurry if I were you.”

“God fucking dammit-“

“Good luck.” Raven took another bite.

Of course. Of course, this would fucking happen.

But, fuck, he didn’t know if he should just leap out the window to keep up now that everything he’s ever wished for had finally come to be. Because, to his own beliefs up in the clouds, he could probably fly with just the flap of his measly arms.

Y/N chose him.

He left for the elevator, just before Gar stopped him for leaving his wallet, then he was sprinting his way back to the airport.

You:

“I already made up my mind,” you said to your phone as if there were anyone else on the other line. As if he was there, listening to you. And that in a few seconds, he’d respond.

“I’ll be here. It’s my turn to wait for you. As long as it takes. I love you, Dick.”

Quite haunting how easy it was for those words to just roll off your lips, because as much as you thought all this to be so complicated and difficult, it was the easiest thing you’ve ever had to say.

At four am, alone in your studio with all your lights off and your sheets in an unkempt mess. You stuck your knees so close to your chest, trying to conceal at least some kind of warmth against you. But even with it so easy, it didn’t mean it wasn’t hurting.

“I can't,” you stuck your palm to your forehead. “I know things are so hard between us… and this past year is just…”

You breathed, longer than you’d hoped, just to get enough air into your lungs just so you wouldn’t collapse.

“God, I don’t even know what to tell you anymore. It all just… It feels like it’s too late. Everything went so wrong between us and I can't stop but think maybe it’s the world saying we’re just not meant to be,” you swallowed. “And the scary thing is… I don’t even care.”

The blue rose you painted, staring back at you once so bright, but as the passing days of you still wondering if were brave enough to do this at all, it had dried up and was now blank, patronizing even, that maybe it just wasn’t right, even when you wanted it to be.

“I don’t care if it’s so complicated, I want you…”

On the bed, just by your feet, you locked your eyes onto Dick’s beautiful handwriting, some that had been smudged with the sweat from your hands with the paper now crumpled up after all those months of reading and rereading.

You closed your eyes.

“You sent me an awfully painful, heart-breaking letter,” you said. “This is my awfully painful, heart-breaking reply.”

‘I usually just say all this in my head. That’s when I get poetic. Sometimes I write it down. Most of the time, I try to paint them. I think of galaxies and meadows and skies and flowers and all that, metaphors as they are, but I’ll say everything I’ve got. Right now. Because you deserve to know that all those years of you thinking nothing could ever go how you wanted, that it could end being just that.

Dick:

“Hey.”

Hands on the counter, the attendant looked startled at the least.

“I need a ticket for the next flight to Gotham.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” she said, after taking a while to look at Dick’s handsome yet frantically uneasy face. “You just missed it-“

“I know, I know, I missed the last one.” The one that left just five minutes ago because of fucking California traffic. “But I need to get on the next one. Please.”

“All flights from San Francisco after the next hour are canceled I’m afraid.”

“Any connecting flights? Anything that leaves before that?”

“Sir, I-” she stretched her fingers. “I’ll look for something.”

His fingers, tapping onto the counter until the tip of his nails started to hurt.

“The best option’s a connecting flight to Denver, then to New York.”

“New York!?”

“Then there’s the railway transits to Gotham. I can book you a ticket for that, too.”

From a seven-hour flight to a seventeen-hour trip with layovers and a crowded train.

But as soon as he heard best option he pulled out his wallet quicker than when they told him his rent was three months overdue and that if he weren’t to pay the doorman that very instant they’d evict him.

He rushed to the first plane, closed his eyes, and prayed she hadn’t said anything in her voice message too important for him to miss out on.

‘The universe, or whatever it is out there that has a say in all this, they didn’t make it easy for us at all. If they did, we would have met long before we went too far into this mess. We were friends, sure, and you have no idea how much I value our friendship.

But I guess not even that friendship’s strong enough for us to deny what’s really going on. And that’s why it’s all so hard. I can't even look at you without thinking about kissing you, or holding you, or touching you. I can't hold your hand without wanting to never pull away. I can't even be in the same room with you and not stare, even when you’re just reading a book or talking to someone else. You are… you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and you’re just as beautiful within, which is why it was so easy to love you, and so hard to keep it in.’

You:

Morning. Eleven am at that. You slept before the sun was up, at least. But you were up all night.

Nothing. Not a call, not even a text from him.

Everything shattered, and you were still half asleep. The next thing you did, and the next thing to do, was wrap yourself up with the thickest layer of your blanket and hide in the dark, even with it such a lovely day.

Another message wouldn’t be such a good idea if he still hadn’t opened the last five, which seemed highly unlikely with him gone for almost a day now.

A day. It had been a day.

But nothing on GCPD’s notices reported a missing person’s file of an utterly gorgeous, half-Romani hunk of a man in any of their websites. You called the manor, again. Still, there was nothing.

Twelve at noon. All you had for lunch was a bagel from three nights ago. It stuffed you, at least.

You sat at your dining table and stared at your phone.

If there was a moment for so much love to come crashing at once, it would all have been too great for that to be possible.

But the moment you realized it was there at all,

A few weeks ago. Steph’s birthday.

A party at the manor. It wasn’t much. Just a little get together with everyone at the parlor.

Everyone was talking, laughing, and frankly you wished you’d joined them. It looked like fun.

But instead, you were looking out the window, at the gardens white with melted snow and winds strong enough to knock the leaves out the branches. But you couldn’t hear any of that, which made it peaceful. It was the trees that danced, birds instead of planes that hovered over the sky, not a star above but perhaps it was because it was so full of clouds. It looked cold. Cold always looked so beautiful when you were looking out from the warmth of the inside.

Dick walked up to your side, just a reasonable distance away so he wouldn’t touch your shoulder, but close enough that you’d smell the jasmine from his neck.

“You’re just gonna stand out here and watch the glass fog up?”

You remembered laughing, probably at something else he’d said after that.

“It’s pretty when you look hard enough.”

And all the while, he didn’t pull your arm and drag you over at the crowd. He didn’t tell you to join them, to loosen up and have fun or have a drink or in any way stop you from what you were doing.

He just stood there and joined you, instead. Ditched his family. Didn’t even speak much.

He stood there because he wanted to. Because you staring out the window was more interesting to him than a whole crowd of kids doing whatever.

When he balled up his fist, covered it with his sleeve, and wiped the window right in front of you to rid it from the fog so you could see the gardens clearer, you knew you loved him.

Such a small act that was, but it was the finality of everything else that built up to that moment.

Then, you remembered what you told him last night, in a voice message that lasted way too long and sounded far too painful.

‘I don’t regret what I had with Tim… but I do regret not saying anything the past four years when I had the chance. You were there. You were there and I could never have had it any other way. When we’re not trying so hard for everything to be alright, everything’s at its best. I’m not even your girlfriend, and already I think about every minute I spend with you and laugh before I’m off to bed. I think about your jokes way too long than they should ever last. And your smile, god your smile, saying that that it’s all I could ever think about wouldn’t do it any justice. You have drawn out the ugliest laugh out of me that never should have come out of any human in existence. And frankly, I’m glad you do. Because just when I thought I could never smile again, you made me the happiest I could ever be.’

Dick:

Of all days. Of all times.

His survival rate at that point, rushing through Denver Airport with just a fifteen-minute layover period, with his shoelaces undone, probably wasn’t one he should have relied on. He was starving, but he had the appetite of a mammal in hibernation with the horrible airplane food costing a hundred dollars and everything else taking too long to prepare.

With just thirty seconds to spare, he fell to his too-narrow coach seat, shuffled along so his large ass-damn this cursed asset-would fit through the aisle and breathed just as the air hissed into the cabin after they closed the service door.

Head against the back of the seat, eyes up the ceiling, at the smoke that blew in through that gap outside the overhead locker, he ignored his dried skin, his dry mouth, his feet that were close to standing on a thousand knife tips, his eyes so close to just shutting out, his wallet painfully thin with this whole trip costing the equivalent of a round trip to Shanghai, and his whole body about to collapse. He hasn’t slept in twenty-four hours. It didn’t look like he was ever going to sleep at all.

And he hasn’t even called. God, what was she doing at home? Is she okay? Is she eating okay? Is she worried about him, staring at her phone wondering what she did wrong when she was nothing less of a perfect creation of all the gods that existed, an angel the earth didn’t deserve?

He really, really had to call.

Someone just sat next to him. A child. And next to him was his mother, who just put down her phone from a call.

“Excuse me.” Dick put on his award-winning smile, pretended he wasn’t sweating his balls off or that he was in any way close to psychological death, and hoped he looked the part as well.

“Yes?”

“Is it okay if I, uh, borrow your phone? I have to make a call. It’s sort of an emergency.”

“The plane’s about to take off.”

“It won't take long. I promise.”

He probably didn’t look as charming as he’d hoped. His hair was a mess not even a bird would settle into. The woman looked at him quizzically, up and down, and shrugged. Like it was handed to him on a silver plater, she gave him her phone.

The aircraft was about to take off. He only had so long.

He called Y/N’s number that he didn’t even know he memorized and settled back. It started ringing.

“MOM!”

The kid beside him. He was tugging on his mother’s shirt.

“MOM, I’M BORED.”

“We’re in a plane,-“

“I’M BORED. I WANNA PLAY ROBLOX-“

“Not now, we’re in a plane. Sit down.”

“GIVE ME YOUR PHONE-“

“That man has my phone.”

Fuck.

Y/N, fucking pick up.

“HEY, GIVE ME MY MOM’S PHONE BACK-“

“Kid, I hear ya. But you have to give me this one-“

“GIVE ME THE PHONE-“

That kid, a chubby one not older than six, stood up from his chair and was wild enough to grab Dick’s hand away from holding the phone up his ear. If he weren’t so desperate, he would have let him have it.

But god almighty, he’s never been as desperate as a starving man in a desert.

“Kid. Just one minute.”

“NO, GIVE ME!”

The mother put on a sleeping mask and faced the other way.

“KID-“

“GIVE ME MY PHONE-“

Back and forth, both grabbing onto the phone and the kid having the strength he did not at all expect, they ended up wrestling it out in the cramped-up economy seats until the kid was screaming out his ears.

He’s never looked so ridiculous but jokes on everyone else if they thought he could care less.

“Excuse me.”

An attendant, bags under her eyes and giving both of them, not just the kid, a dirty look.

“I’m sorry, sir, but the other passengers have complained about the noise. I’m gonna have to ask you to take your seat.”

“NO!” the kid screamed.

“DID YOU JUST BITE ME!?” Dick cried out.

“GIVE ME THE PHONE!”

“I NEED TO CALL SOMEONE!”

Dick grabbed the phone off his hands, palm to the kid’s face to stop him from reaching out to his outstretched arm. “Don’t you have some kind of coloring book you can give him?”

The attendant smiled, albeit forcefully, and walked back over to the back of the cabin. The kid did not stop trying to grab it off Dick’s arm.

She gave the kid a bag that probably had books and crayons and whatever stuffed inside. It looked so old. It had to have been in storage for the past ten years.

But as if some miracle heard him, the kid shut up, took the bag, and settled on his seat. Then he was as quiet as a mouse.

Fucking finally.

He held the phone up his ear and closed his eyes, fingers easing the tension on the nerve on his forehead.

“And sir?”

The attendant smiled at him. It didn’t look so much of a smile as it was a death threat.

“I’m gonna have to ask you to turn off your mobile device.”

To say he wanted to squeeze the life out of everyone in the whole aircraft, including himself, wouldn’t cut it.

And he didn’t even have it in him to protest.

“Hello?”

Her voice. At the other end of the line. That word was all there is to it, the only thing he heard.

Dick sighed, closed his eyes, counted to three, then ended the call after just two seconds.

The next thing he heard, for the next three hours, would be the screams of the child at his side, kicking on his seat like a fucking soccer ball.

‘That call from a year ago. The one about Kori. Fuck, I don’t even know where to begin. I overreacted. By a mile. Did some stupid shit to make up for that guilt and masked it over as another heartbreak when really, it was me refusing to have to go through all that again. I had to see you with that woman when I was in love with you for three years. Of course, it hurt. But I shouldn’t have an excuse. It was so stupid. Just thinking about it makes me want to break. I’m so sorry about that, Dick. I know we’ve already been over that months ago, but I just want to clear everything while I still can. God, I don’t even know if you’d listen to all this. I’m rambling. I’m sorry. I put all the blame on you when I had my share of mistakes. A whole lot of them. I’m sorry. I love you. And I’m sorry.’

You:

Hung up after two seconds. All you heard on the other end of the line was breathing and huffing, and nothing else. Whoever it was, they’ve been calling the past two minutes, just as you stepped out of the shower. And you almost cracked a rib flying from your bathroom to your kitchen table with just a towel around you, hoping to see his name on the screen. But alas, your luck just wasn’t at its peak.

You put your phone down, still with nothing to do, nothing else you could think of doing, than to just wait on that seat, stare at your phone, and hope Dick hadn’t hurt himself going after some goon alone the night before. Still no missing persons report. Nothing from the rest of the team, either.

Maybe just once more. You could call him. It wouldn’t annoy him too much. It had been hours since the last one.

You called, put the phone up your ear.

No ringing. It went straight to voice mail.

You opened your mouth, thinking you had something to say.

But you didn’t have anything to say. Not anymore. Not after you poured your whole heart out on the last one and now your throat was as dry as your palms were sweating.

You put your phone down, facing away from you, then you sank to your arms, burying your crumbling face away even with no one to see you.

‘That’s why I hate myself for not caring if this was difficult. Because I know, somehow, that’s it’s all still gonna be worth it. With you. Just thinking about the things we’d do, you’ve been the light of my life, the one person I look for not just because I need it, but because being with you makes so much of my day, every day that I see you. I look for you in crowds. I turn to your face when I want to look at something pleasant. I stare at doors, constantly hoping you’d be the one to walk in. I seek out for your voice, call you even when I know it’s a bother, find the most ridiculous excuses and the most stupid questions just so I’d have a reason to stand close to you, to have you talking to me, wanting all that everyday. I’ve never met anyone like you, Dick. I’ll never get used to you, and there’s no way in hell that I’d ever get tired of you. And maybe that’s the price to pay with all this being so hard. As complicated as it is, the troubles aren’t half the worth of the happiness it comes with.’

Two flights, three within the past thirty hours, jet-lagged far beyond a night’s repair, and his stomach in so many knots that even the bag of peanuts from the plane was too much to digest. And it wasn’t from poisoning or hunger or whatever it was. Everything in a whirlwind, one he can't even track.

He got to New York before it was dark, and he wanted to kiss the floor.

But he wasn’t at Gotham yet. This trip wasn’t over.

And if it weren’t for the half a million people crowded over at the airport, he would have been in Gotham right at that second.

Past the crowd, fumbling and running for whatever life he had left that wasn’t a spirit descended into something infinitely better than this, he made it over to the other side of the terminal, with his pits sweating his shirt off and his legs made of cooked chicken drumsticks and dough.

He got to the railway station, over at the attendant behind the counter.

“Excuse me,” he panted, and just like the one at the San Francisco airport, it startled her. Except now, there was no using his charm or his looks when he looked like he crawled out of a swamp.

“To Gotham,” he said.

“Ticket?”

He reached for his wallet, hands shaking so horribly it was worrying if he hadn’t known it came with his mind being as much of a mess as a wrecked ship from the 1800s.

And all the more did they tremble, down to his sorry knees, when he opened every flap there was on his wallet to find every pocket empty.

No.

No. no. no. no. no.

He searched his pockets. His jacket. His pants. His fucking shoes. If he had a hat he’d probably look into that too.

Nothing. Not a stub. A tiny stub that would have easily been blown by so much as a gust from a fan, let alone running a marathon in three airports in a single day.

“I,” he swallowed. “I seemed to have lost my ticket.”

Yeah. He wasn’t getting out of this one. The attendant looked at him and snarled like the annoyance he was.

“All the trains are sold out. And I’m afraid you can't board the train without a ticket.”

“Ma’am, I really, really, have to get to Gotham-“

“I’m afraid you’re gonna have to step out of the line.”

Like every force in the universe was out to get him.

“Do you have a phone? A payphone at least? I really need to call someone-“

“Sir, please step out of the line.”

“Please, ma’am, there has to be some way you can squeeze me into one of those trains-“

The attendant waved at someone behind him.

Two security guards were at his side before he could even turn around.

“Alright, alright, I’m leaving,” he huffed. “You guys don’t happen to have a phone I could use?”

Both guards ignored him, set him aside against a pillar.

And, with the excruciating exhaustion finally crashing into this one blow to the face, he stuck his back against the column, head up to the ceiling, then fell on his ass.

God, what does he even say to her after this?

If he actually gets to talk to her, that is.

“Final call for boarding!”

That light. One, single light. Or two, if he focused his eyes. The headlights from outside the revolving doors, from a bus that just opened its doors. It was a light, because it had GOTHAM in bold letters pasted onto its windshield.

And a line of people stepping inside. Kids and adults, old people alike.

He sat up from the floor, hungry, tired, and in pain.

But this was all going to be worth it. Every minute of this.

He just knew, that one last push, after this tormenting, inferno of a day, would all come to an end he’d dreamed about since he first laid eyes on her that day at the Wayne Manor’s library.

Dick got in line outside the bus, told the conductor he’d pay when they get inside. And after he did, he had just a quarter in his wallet to spare. No one sat beside him. The others were at the back. The one across was fast asleep. He couldn’t call her.

He’ll just have to hope, that whatever worries she had waiting for him to come up, that she’d forgive him enough for all this to end the way he hoped it would.

Three hours on a bus.

Didn’t even sound like it was remotely a long time.

The moment he took his seat, the bus doors hissed closed, and the air so silent, so did everything else calm.

He’s waited so long.

But he just had to wait for another three hours. In a bus. Then he’ll see her.

He closed his eyes.

‘I don’t even know why I rambled so much about all this being so complicated.

Because even if I had to walk up to the sky, I know there’s a galaxy waiting for me at the end. You are worth it. You are worth everything. I’ve never been so obsessed with anyone my whole life. You are, with my whole heart, my greatest love. And you are so beautiful that I never want to look at anything else ever again. And I never thought I’d get know beauty the way I do when I talk to you. You are everything I could ever want. And so much more.

And that pain, that hurt we both had to go through after all those years. That pining and waiting, and the heartbreak just because I was too stupid to understand that it didn’t have to be so hard after all, it doesn’t even matter, when at the end, I get to be with you.

I’d go through all that again if it means I can be with you.

You are the man I’ve dreamt about since I could first dream, and I’m lucky enough to have you in my reality. It’s you I want, Dick.

So I’ll wait for you. As long as I have to.

I love you so much.

Please, for the love of God, call me.’

You:

That message.

The longer you stared at your phone, the more you wondered if it was the right thing to do at all.

It was four am. You were tired. And worried.

And it was four am now, a whole day after.

Not a single call.

You’ve done it this time. You tripped at the finish line.

You were selfish enough to keep that man waiting for so long hoping he’d keep going, just as he had been for years.

And now, this is what you get.

You have yourself alone, in your apartment, one you haven’t cleaned in a week, and your heart in the same shatters as it often had been.

Your phone rang. You weren’t so excited to pick it up. Rightfully so when you saw it was just Bruce.

“Hello?” you said, your weight against the table’s surface, also surprised that it hadn’t broken.

“Y/N,” Bruce said. “I heard you were looking for Dick.”

“Mhm?”

“Sorry I haven’t called. Anyways, the last location I can point him to was at the Titans Tower in San Francisco.”

Okay.

You’ve had your heart broken before.

But it wasn’t just that that had broken right then.

Everything else, every bone, every bit of flesh there was, it was this numbing buzz you couldn’t even fight.

“What?”

Just then, someone knocked on your door.

And it wasn’t just a knock. They were pounding against the wood.

The ringing in your ears hadn’t even subsided, and you were breathless, muscles stiff. You just let the pounding go on until you heard Bruce hang up on the other line.

Life didn’t even give you so much as a second to process all that, of what he could be doing there, who he was with.

Your walked to the door, and without looking into the eyehole, you unlatched the lock and opened it.

Some glitch there was if all this were nothing but a simulation.

But it was as if the last five minutes-no-the last two days hadn’t happened at all.

Dick never looked like such a mess.

But, nonetheless, the way you stared at him was as if he was as beautiful as he ever was.

Everything that had broken, the moment you looked into his eyes, had fallen right back into place, into an entity far stronger than any quake could knock it out of.

Dick shut the door behind him.

He grabbed your face.

Then he kissed you. Without words. Without letting so much as a speck of time, however it worked now that it’d stopped, pass and waste away.

Dick:

Whatever she told him in that message he never got to hear, everything she ever had to say, the instant he felt her kiss him back, it was like every word flew out of her lips. How she wanted him. How she chose him. How in love she was with the mess of a human being he could be. How all the trials they’d been forced to go through, all the misunderstandings and the fights and the long months of this troubling, awkward place they wanted nothing more than to climb out of. He got all that with the way her lips molded so wanting and harsh, pressed so hard against his dried, chapped pair that have never witnessed anything more beautiful and so awfully perfect.

No more time to be wasted.

Not another second.

He had her. He finally had her.

He got the girl.

Not a chance that he wasted so much as another second.

He pushed her against the wall and the gasp that came out of her wasn’t at all out of pain, but at the sheer desire that had sparked at such impact that only knocked her into the same place he’d long settled in. And he could just feel, how much she wanted so badly to speak, to tell him what was raging in her head that was as much of a mess as his. But they’ll talk. Eventually. After.

All he wanted, right then, was to have her. Love her. Love her. To send her off to some paradise that long surpassed oceans and mirages and heavens that stood on clouds, to culminate that seemingly endless torture into a reward so great, that to say it would have been worth it would be so much an understatement. To play every instrument there was and let the song resonate into her body, and make it last for the rest of his life for so long as he could touch her. All that, he was going to give her tonight. Tonight. Right then and there.

Grabbing her legs up to his hips, her hands pinned to the wall above her head, it was too much of a flash for him to rush into this beautiful thing that shouldn’t be rushed at all. But he couldn’t slow down if it meant that he lives. Even if he died right after, he just couldn’t hold back.

He was pushing himself into her and the sounds that he earned out his lips were more than any songbird could cry out. After just having her against that wall, he finally got the sense to take it to the bed. It was dark. Not a light was on. And it was raining outside the one window she had near the bed and just the streetlight outside was enough to make him see her face. Dick placed her on top of his lap, on which she enjoyed herself to her own pace. Her hips were like waves, the ocean that rocked about, and the stain on his pants that she’d left behind was just as wet as so.

At that moment even she didn’t want to wait and talk any longer.

He took off her clothes, lied back.

Then he hoisted her up so the sweetest part of her body was just hovering over his mouth, her strong, beautiful legs, one of skin and the other of metal, on either sides of his head.

You:

You were made of gemstones. You were shimmering.

Of diamonds and rubies and emeralds, of the most precious rocks that could be found on every soil on earth.

Everything. That pain. That darkness. All the troubles and hardships, the disputes and every tear you’ve ever had to shed. Gone. Gone when he drew out this wonderful melody of sensations from his sweet, sweet tongue quivering you to every core. You were rocking, shaking, trembling, barely keeping yourself up. Not long after you screamed, and like the skies heard you it screamed back with a thunderous roar.

Then Dick shed his own clothes and moved inside you, rolling your hips with your two bodies now this one, beautiful entity, like you were holding his hand, just as you did right then, as you both ran through the darkness of a cave that has long haunted you, with creatures and bats and ghosts flying about, just to reach the end that was a light so close and so bright, you chased yourselves, chased that very light.

And once you reached it, that blinding, flashing white light that shone with this painful, glorious sting to every bit of your flesh, to say you found that end would be wrong. It wasn’t an end. It was this continuous, tantalizing aroma that would last a lifetime. It was beauty. You felt beauty. And it was in ripples you couldn’t see. A blur you couldn’t comprehend.

You had so much to tell him and ask him about.

But just as that wonderful night showed you, you had the rest of your life to do just that.

Epilogue

Dick:

Life could only ever be so cruel.

But life gives its niceties. Sometimes, to the people so used to it that they take it for granted.

But it’s even more so of a nicety when it’s the people who’ve long deserved it.

Not to say he deserved the world, but it was just that he’d gotten. From a world once so cruel, that never seemed to have granted them the time enough to be together, it’d never built up into anything more perfect.

Watching her from his car’s driver seat, from where he had a perfect view of her looking at the wondrous scenes flash by outside the window. It was even more beautiful, more than ever before, now that he could take just a second off his time from the steering wheel just to kiss her.

Just a little over six months together. Never has there been anything so rewarding in his life. A rainbow, ten of them at least, that filled what was once this depressingly grey sky. He always knew it’d be worth the world. But even he surprised himself.

When they parked the car, got out into this wide, orange field, a farmland just outside of Jersey with a valley at the farthest end, the only thing that battled the brightness of her smile was the sun itself.

“It’s beautiful, Dick.”

Her voice, even more so.

He set up her canvas, all her paint, and her brushes. They found a spot on the grass that was clean enough for them both to sit on. She didn’t use her easel. Instead, they both laid on this plaid red and white sheet over the grassy soil, her using her own knees to hold it up. And Dick sat beside her, watching her as the hours ticked. Without looking away, no longer ashamed when she’d catch him.

Just before the last of the sun had set, he pulled out from his pocket a ring, one with a diamond a shape of a white rose on top.

He got it a week after they got together.

Her face, her lips wide open as she realized what came in front of her, then he asked her to be his. Forever.

She said yes, just as the sun fell.

-----

MASTERLIST | 3 BIRDS 1 STONE MASTERLIST | RED | YELLOW

-----

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mochegato · 4 years

Text

Will you Fake Date Me?

A bit of fun for the Jasonette July Fake Dating prompt. I think this was the first fic I actually completed.

“Explain this to me again,” Marinette said with slight exasperation as she stirred her coffee. She watched her friend, one of her best friends, run a hand through his hair looking slightly desperate and anxious. The fact that messing up his hair like that just made him even more attractive was utterly not fair. Wait, she was supposed to be annoyed not turned on. Stop Marinette, focus!

Jason sighed staring down at the coffee in front of him, “I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend for the upcoming Wayne gala. Bruce is forcing me go and I need some protection.”

“You need my protection?” she asked eyeing him suspiciously. He nodded, still looking intently at his coffee. “From?”

“Bruce, Alfred, attention seeking harpies looking for a meal ticket,” he listed off gruffly, “Dick.”

“Dick?” She raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“Dick,” he nodded. “He is positive I need to find a significant other. But, see, here’s the genius of the plan, if I have one already, he’ll stop trying to set me up with every single, roughly our age, mildly-attractive-in-Dick’s-eyes person he sees.”

“Just to be clear, you think pretending you have a girlfriend that Dick didn’t know about will get Dick to pester you less,” she deadpanned. “I’m still looking for the genius part of this plan.”

Jason opened his mouth then closed it quickly. She wasn’t wrong, but that wasn’t the point. Stupid logic. “Come on, don’t make me go to this thing alone. It’s going to be miserable and boring and annoying and it would be at least tolerable if you were there with me.”

“Wow you are selling it so well. When you put it that way, how could I resist such an amazing offer?” she scoffed and rolled her eyes taking a sip of her coffee. “Also, ‘tolerable’? When did you turn into Damian?”

This wasn’t working. He needed a different tactic, one he knew worked on her every time, “Please?” he begged asked in a very manly way, giving her the biggest puppy dog eyes he could manage.

Marinette looked at the puppy dog eyes warily. She could already feel herself giving in. Damn beautiful, gorgeous, big blue eyes she could get lost in. He knew she couldn’t resist his eyes. She needed to think of something quick or she was going to lose her dignity and pretend to date someone she really did want to date and she was not some fucking fanfic trope, even if it was one of her favorites. One of Jason’s favorites, too, if she remembered correctly. Even if it would be fun to “have to” spend even more time together, close together, touching and making out endlessly in order to sell the story.

Wait, she had a point… Right! She was not going to let her real life succumb to her and Jason’s favorite trope…

Jason’s favorite... trope

What. The. Fuck. That scruffy-looking, fic-loving, nerd-rat! He was playing her… but only if he liked her. So… he liked her? What!? When did that start!? Why weren’t they already dating!? He was sitting there playing games instead of kissing her! Bastard. He needed to stop playing games and act. They could be kissing right now!!

Okay, so maybe he hadn’t asked directly because he was afraid of how she would react. He wanted to keep their friendship and his dignity intact no matter what. Aww, that was so adorable. Still a nerd-rat, but an adorable one. It was going to take tact and finesse to help keep the fine balance Jason was walking.

“Jason, if you want to ask me out, ask me, you coward.” Finesse. To be fair to her efforts... screw the balance.

Jason stared at her mouth agape. Shit. This was not how this conversation was supposed to go. She was supposed to agree to go with him to the gala. He was supposed to show up wearing a dashing tux that would make her blush deep red and render her speechless. She was supposed to wear a beautiful dress that took his breath away and made his jaw drop, so any dress really, or anything… or nothing. No wait. That wasn’t a fantasy he had time to indulge in right now. If he started down that road…. What was he thinking about before? Oh right. “What?” He gurgled out. Eloquent. He knew words.

“We’ve both read enough fake dating fics to know how you think this ends.” She looked at him with narrowed eyes.

Jason considered his options for response and still keep his self-respect. He was Red Hood. He took down mob bosses, hell he was one for a long time. He could handle this little soft-hearted pixie. Surely.

His knee-jerk response to any situation was his patented emotional detachment. He didn’t care, not about this not about her. But that wouldn’t work with Marinette, especially if he wanted to get a date out of this. She knew he cared. Maybe she didn’t know how much he loved CARED! cared about her, but she knew the detachment was a mask. She’d certainly called him out on it enough.

He could play dumb. He was good at that. Damian always leapt at the chance to believe he was an idiot. Mari knew him better though and always trusted his insights into any situation because she trusted that he knew what he was talking about. She knew he was smarter than he liked people to think. She treated him like he was brilliant. Even if it wasn’t the same way Tim or Barbara were, he still had as much to contribute, as much value. She completely trusted him, even when she shouldn’t, giving him those eyes that melted him into a puddle. So that was out.

He could try to play her, a corollary of the Play Dumb approach, playing off of her weaknesses; her refusal to back down from a challenge, her anxiety, her willingness to believe the best in everyone, her need to help everyone around her, her soft heart, her creativity, her kindness, her intelligence, her wit, her bravery, her beauty, her… wait… what was… WEAKNESSES! Right. He’d already used his puppy dog eyes though. He could pull them out again and it might work, but... Fuck it. The direct approach then. Just be straight forward with her, sincere.

“What are you talking about?” Sincerity is vastly overrated.

She stared at him, mouth set in a thin line. He was still playing games. Fine. He wanted to play games? She could play, too. And just like every game she played with him, she would destroy him.

“I don't know... I’m thinking about becoming a roommate with Roy and…” she gasped placing her hands on her cheeks, eyes and mouth wide open in shock. “…there might only be one bed,”

“The fuck you are,” Jason growled out under his breath before he could stop himself. He noticed the victorious grin and light blush that appeared on Marinette’s face at his outburst before she schooled her face again. He narrowed her eyes back at her. She was playing with him. She wasn’t walking away and she wasn’t saying ‘no’. That meant… she was interested too, right? She was interested and flirting with him. A small smirk spread across his face before he schooled his expression as well. Flirting he could do. “You better be careful or you might make me into an enemy, then when I get hurt I’ll have to come to you for comfort.”

Marinette drew in a breath “enemies to lovers, 10,000 word slow burn” she whispered in mock scandal nodding her head.

He chuckled at her and looked back into her eyes, “you didn’t say no, you know”.

“No” she said leaning back.

He stared at her for a second, his heart stumbling. Had he read this wrong?

“I will not fake date you. If you want a date, you can ask for one.”

She started to get up but Jason grabbed her hand gently “Will you go on a date with me, secret princess Marinette?” He said looking at her with soft eyes, smiling at her as a shy smile spread across her face.

“Yes, of course I will. I could never deny my soulmate.” She smiled wider. “But…” She paused hesitantly.

“But?” He asked nerves suddenly surfacing.

“But, where will we go? We’re already in a coffee shop…” she threw him a devastatingly wicked smile.

He groaned. This was his life now. He was never going to live this down.

Bonus:

“Come on, let’s get out of here.” He held her hand as they walked out of the coffee shop, reveling in finally being able to touch her for more than a few seconds at a time. He could feel her warm skin whenever he wanted.

“One thing though,” she started as they left the coffee shop.

He groaned again and threw his head back in mock exasperation, “Oh God, what? You worried about your found family?”

“Oooo, that’s a good one, but no. I was thinking,” she said suddenly a bit bashful, “that we don’t want anyone to suspect that we are just pretending to be dating, right?”

He eyed her suspiciously, “Right… because we’re not.”

“Right, but we don’t want Dick to keep pushing, so we want to make sure we look completely comfortable with each other, right?”

A happy grin spread across his face as he caught onto where she was going with this, “right, so we should maybe practice. Things like being close to each other, holding hands, hugging, touching, kissing…”

“Exactly,” she nodded, looking up at him through her eyelashes. “Just to make sure we completely convince Dick we are completely in love… so there’s no question.”

His hands cupped her cheeks as he stared into her eyes, “and I am” he whispered, lowering his head down to gently touch his lips to hers.

Slightly dirtier bonus:

“Oh God,” he said with sudden realization breaking the kiss.

“What?” Marinette asked concern edging into her expression.

“Am I the Alpha or the Omega in this relationship?”

She let out a loud laugh, wound her arms around his neck, and pulled him down for another more searing kiss. “Who said you had to choose? We can always switch.”

Thanks to @gajer-1226 for helping me figure out who share the one bed with.

And thanks to siderealSandman for teaching me what “switch” means.

Tag:

@fsketchart @jasonette-july-2k20

#maribat #jasonette #jasonette july 2k20

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moonah-rose · 3 years

Text

Little Blue Eyes

A brief follow-up to this. Eleanor visits Michael during his reforming.

She had to hand it to Jason. If anyone had told her that it was possible to break a Janet out of Hell and get her away from an army of demons using just a Molotov, a single demon exploder gun, and a bag of weed, she’d have been very sceptical. But somehow he managed to bring their not-a-girl home, riding back in that hand-cart, grinning away as if he’d gone to a Jaguars game with her.

That was one problem dealt with. Now only a billion others to sort out.

As overjoyed as she’d been to see Janet back, safe and sound, she hadn’t been looking forward to reliving the most awful night of the year by explaining to her why their tall, dandy dressed demon wasn’t at her side, or hadn’t gone to save her.

It was easier to hand her the note that Michael had wrote (or possibly snapped into being after she slammed the door as she was sure even he couldn’t write that fast) before he’d pulled the trigger on himself.

I’m sorry.

I don’t want you to be worrying about how I might betray you or let you down again. If I’m locked up, you’re just going to worry that I’ve escaped. Just leave me in a tank on the other side of the map, or in Janet’s void if you bring her back, or just leave me in the Bad Place. If anything I just wanna ask that you make sure I’m all in there as I’d rather not come back shorter. Also if you can make sure no dogs are around to lap me up, I’d appreciate it.

I only ever wanted to save you all. I’m sorry I did nothing but screw up. I understand if you don’t want me back in the group after I’m back to normal. Please just get Janet back safe, even if it does mean going to the Judge. And give my best to Chidi when he wakes up.

I wasn’t lying about one thing; I really do love you all so much. I’m sorry it could never be enough.

Michael.

Reading the goo-stained letter with shaking hands, she’d struggled not to burst into tears of anger or throw up. Standing in the middle of the empty room, her friend dripping all around her, she’d wanted to scream at him for this being his best attempt to make things up to her - to forking leave her! To take the cowards way out.

Being angry was so much easier than accepting the guilt of what she had said to him before that moment. Of questioning if she had gone too far...if she’d just taken a moment to listen to him...Usually the dude had trouble shutting the fork up but that night, all he’d done is stand there and take everything she threw at him...until there was nothing left standing. Literally.

If she’d had any idea he would do something so reckless and stupid then of course she would never have said...

But you did know. You knew exactly what he was prepared to do to help you, if it’s what you said you needed. What you wanted.

She never wanted this, she admits to herself, barely a couple months later.

Running this experiment basically single-handed was...not overly difficult. In fact, she was pretty confident in saying they were doing okay, considering the circumstances.

But it still sucked. She was alone. Again.

Obviously there was no way she was going to have Michael’s goo abandoned in some random, isolated location. She was mad at the guy but she wasn’t a monster...so she told herself. At the same time, she couldn’t give up the role he’d thrusted upon her by suddenly taking up the role of nurse-maid, as hot as she might have looked in the uniform. He’d chosen to do this so she could work without distractions. Without a liability.

“He sacrificed himself to save me. We’re on our own now. Let’s make it count.”

Just get the fork on with things, same as before. No point in looking back.

Tahani is the one who volunteers. She’s able to separate herself from the other humans without causing too much suspicion, claiming the need for a private getaway up in the hills, deep in the valley, a hidden fancy lodge by a stream, surrounded by peaceful deer and mountains. Definitely not Eleanor’s scene, anything involving the wilderness or even resembling camping.

By the time Eleanor sees her off on a private car Derek conjured up, Michael’s goo already reached its first form. The blind, helpless demon larva showed no signs of awareness of his surroundings, curling up as small as possible, malleable as Tahani swaddled him in her fluffiest blanket. Eleanor was almost impressed at how quickly the sexy giraffe had overcome being grossed out at the slimy, squidgy creature, able to look almost maternal as she carried him into the car. And she made sure to say as much.

Tahani’s heavy hearted response would stick with Eleanor for the next few weeks; “I didn’t reassure him when he asked us if we could ever be friends with a gross monster. Best I can do is show him how much we truly care.”

Ouch. Way to kick her in the girl-nads.

“You sure you’ll be okay?”

“I’ve helped out in multiple animal sanctuaries and used to fly out to work with deprived children with my dear friend Angelina...But this is definitely new territory for me.” She’d said as she looked over the larva demon, making the tiniest cooing noise in his sleep (or what they assumed was sleep). “I’ll try my best.”

That was all any of them could do. She’d contemplated attempting to speak to the larva Michael in her arms. What could she possibly say? Could he even understand her?

She was still angry. And yet it was difficult to connect the anger towards the one who abandoned her to the pathetic looking being in the blanket. Best to save all those harsh words on the tip of her tongue for when he was back to being tall and slappable.

Is he really the one you want to slap?

The question comes back to haunt her more frequently each night that follows, whenever she thinks back on that night, or wonders how the two of them are doing. She and Tahani send letters often via the birds who are happy to act as messengers. They just have to be careful none of the humans intercept them. She lets her gorgeous friend know how the experiment is going and Tahani offers her tips on how to improve John, in particular. Every time she goes to write ‘how is Michael?’ she erases it, chest tightening. Tahani tells her anything important.

The slug monster form that follows the larva is a lot more challenging, she reports. He’s now the size of a Tibetan huskie and just as hungry.

I just let him roam the fields and eat what he can find. Sometimes I have to pull him in on a leash if he doesn’t tire himself out, otherwise I worry he’ll slither off in the night. I try to talk to him but he just grunts or roars at me until I tell him off. I was a little worried he might try to eat me but I found playing music - 80′s classics, mostly - calms him down and makes him rather docile. I don’t think he knows quite who I am or remembers anything. Perhaps it’s like when Janet is rebooted? He may need time to restore his memories, as she did.

Oh, darn, I must finish - he’s in the rose bush again!

Sometimes the image of her prim socialite friend trying to restrain a two-hundred-pound slug monster is so hilarious she can’t help but laugh. Other times she feels more guilt tugging at her soul to go lend a hand.

Is Michael really little more than an animal, in his head, right now? She’s hardly proved herself the best at pet care, though it sounded like Michael overeating was the least of their worries. It pained her to imagine what his head must be going through right now. Is he scared? Confused? Lost? Does he have any emotions other than the instinct to feed?

Does he still blame himself? Does he miss her as much as she...?

The more she sits in that chair in the office, the smaller she feels. It doesn’t belong to her; she’s merely filling it in while he’s gone. She has lunch in silence, remembering the jokes they used to share, the games of trying to aim food in the others mouth across the desk. She remembers him snapping a margarita for her when he knew she needed it most. She remembers his hand on her shoulder. She remembers him finding her at her lowest point, when everyone else had doubted her, turned their backs.

She remembers him, always there. And now she’s lost him.

Was wanting him gone over a stupid lie really worth all of this?

When Jason returns with Janet, on the same day she’s hesitating whether to jump on the nearest unicorn and head towards the mountains, she takes it as a sign. She has no excuse to stay away now - not with Janet back to watch over things, though she’ll probably be paying Michael a visit soon too.

She rides up on the train Janet conjures for her, saving her from trying to figure out how to ride a unicorn without breaking her neck. Something tells her she might have more luck at taming a slug monster than her British friend, not that she has any experience, just a few encounters with the grosser men in Arizona. Besides, it was Michael, at the end of the day. Their Michael.

The same Michael willing to sacrifice himself to help a bunch of cockroaches.

It’s such an idyllic landscape she arrives at. A total holiday card photo, without the snow. Nothing but grass and trees for miles before a backdrop of purple mountains. She looks around, seeing the evidence of devoured flower gardens and broken fences. At least the solid, oak cabin by the stream stood in tact, smoke billowing from the chimney.

Eleanor is so focused on keeping her eyes peeled for a rampaging slug monster that she almost fails to spot the little person sat on the front step of the veranda.

She frowns. That has to be the whitest child she’s ever laid eyes on. Granted most kids growing up in Phoenix were smothered in fake tan before they were three by their moms, but this is something else. The kid has long white hair, half-plaited, down to the shoulders of the cream dress she’s wearing. Her skin is so pale it’s nearly translucent. Fork, is she looking at an actual ghost?

Wait...She’s a ghost. That really shouldn’t freak her out.

There’s just something so eerie about the little girl, from her sickly appearance to how weirdly quiet she is for...However old she is. Six? Seven? Thirteen? Eleanor really knows nothing about kids, just that they’re usually much louder than this one, sat alone, playing with a set of shining...

Oh.

“Michael?”

The kid looks away from the chain of a paperclips they were linking, gazing up at Eleanor on the gravel path. As soon as she sees their eyes, she has her answer. Even without a pair of glasses, she’d recognise those sparkling blue eyes anywhere. It’s only then that she remembers the third form.

Spooky little girl.

Though far less spooky than she imagined. More...sad.

Despite her surprise, she tries to smile, not knowing how badly she needed to see those eyes look at her again after this past month.

“Hey, buddy. How’re you feeling?” She starts to approach.

The kid drops the paperclips and jumps up to their feet, beginning to tremble terribly, eyes wide as saucers.

Eleanor stops. Is he afraid? Of her?

“Michael? D’you remember me? It’s Eleanor, dude..”

“‘Hani!” The child cries turning and running inside the cabin. Fork, she knew was bad with kids, but shirt! Eleanor rushes in to follow, unable to hold back.

She enters the cosily furnished cabin to see the pale girl run up to the leg of the six foot beauty standing at the stove and cling to her skirt for dear life.

Tahani looks over from the pot of spaghetti, face fearful at first before lighting up when she spots her friend stood in the foyer.

“Eleanor! What a lovely surprise.” She beams, turning the stove off; “I’m so glad you decided to visit.”

“Wow...You’re kinda rocking the whole rustic single mom look here, babe.” Eleanor says, looking around the place, everything making her feel so warm and comforted from the open fireplace to the heavy air of recently baked bread.

Tahani looks down to her charge hanging onto her dress, reaching down to pick the little fingers off carefully.

“Well, it was rather nice to have a project to myself, and Derek was surprisingly helpful. Everything else I acquired myself, having learned to survive in the wild from a well known ‘Bear’ friend of mine.” She holds the kid’s hands and bends down to their eye level; “Michael, sweetheart, look who’s come to visit. Remember Eleanor?”

The demon child whimpers, throwing their arms around Tahani’s neck and hiding in her luscious dark hair.

Eleanor bites her lip; “He’s a lot more shy than the slug monster, I take it.”

“Oh, I don’t understand. They were fine with Jason this morning, they were playing video games for hours - he and Janet teleported over briefly to check in on us. So glad they got back safe.”

So Jason gets a teleport but she takes the train? The first time she’s not an immortal being’s favorite to spoil.

Eleanor shuffles her feet, trying not to feel wounded at how terrified her friend currently is of her, when apparently there was no issue with Jason. But then, Jason makes it difficult for anyone to dislike him. Eleanor makes it an open invitation.

The kid whispers something to Tahani that causes the woman to pick them up.

“Oh, darling, don’t be silly.” She responds, rubbing their back; “That was just a nightmare.”

“Nightmare?” Eleanor asks. Is she the stuff of nightmares?

Tahani eventually convinces the pale kid to go back outside to continue playing while she catches up with Eleanor.

Questions Tahani has about the experiment and the subjects get quickly brushed aside. Eleanor is unable to focus on anything but the image of Michael’s eyes looking at her with so much fear. When Tahani hands her a fresh cup of cofffee, she wants to stick her hand in it, just to scold herself for the sake of it.

“He’s having nightmares? I mean...she’s having...” Eleanor frowns.

“I find it easier to use ‘they/them’, which Michael seems to prefer as well, currently.” Tahani explains; “Most of the time, they’re a calm, affectionate child. Such a welcome change from the beast I was putting up with a fortnight ago, as much as they grew on me. It’s just at night, while their brain is still reforming and all these memories are flooding back...It can be rather distressing. Trust me, it’s heart-breaking just to see them crying and screaming...”

She can’t imagine that recalling centuries of brutally torturing innocents along with the knowledge of why that was wrong is easy for anyone, least of all in the form of a small girl, creepy or not.

“Honestly, the creepiest I’ve encountered so far is them levitating at the end of my bed - and that’s usually when they’re just looking for a cuddle.”

Eleanor smiles a little, Michael never was the best at being a truly ‘frightening’ demon.

“And I’m in these nightmares?”

Tahani sighs; “I suppose the memories of their last night are mixed up with everything else. They just...were worried you were here to say something mean or...you wanted them gone.”

Fork-sake.

“I never wanted this, Tahani. I never wanted him to...Shirt, I didn’t even think he could, but...” She struggles to hold back tears; “I shouldn’t have come. I’ve just made him...Them more upset. Fork knows what I’d be in for if I stayed for the Teenage Boy phase. He’d probably set my hair on fire as payback.”

Bratty Michael in his fully grown form had been enough to handle. A hormonal one with amnesia was a whole other level.

“Eleanor. Just go talk to them.” Tahani presses; “This whole distancing thing you two are doing to deal with your falling out is dangerous. You’re not going to fix anything by staying away from them. As I kept telling my good friend Courtney when she had a row with my other friends, Lisa and Jennifer - you just need to communicate!”

“Babe, they’re afraid to even be alone with me.” She’s the monster under the bed now. All because she took one sin he committed to heart and forgot about all the good he’d done for her that outweighed it.

“Then stay, there’s plenty of room. Even if it means we swap and you stay here and I return to help with the experiment. Either way, this needs to be sorted out. I don’t believe demons are supposed to be this upset during their growth...You could help with that.”

Can she? She’s not the nurturing type, like her hot friend. She melted her own doll in the microwave as a kid. And she unwittingly talked her own demon bestie into exploding himself.

Tahani’s hand squeezing her wrist gives her some strength.

“...Okay. I’ll try.” she meets her eyes; “Is Michael the only one allowed to snuggle in bed with you when they’re scared?”

Ten minutes later, she goes to find the creepy girl outside, this time sat among the flowers, being far more gentle with them than her previous slug form was.

Eleanor approaches slowly.

“Michael? Buddy?”

The kid gasps, standing up again and flinching back. Eleanor raises her palm.

“Please don’t run away. I promise I won’t hurt you...and I won’t be mad.” She says, soft as she can manage, getting down to the ground; “And I’m not gonna make you go away anywhere. I just wanna chat...That ok?”

Michael doesn’t look too convinced, glancing over at the cabin. Looking for the one constant they’ve had, who’s been here for them, caring for them. Where Eleanor should have been, at least sometimes.

Okay. Time for the trump card.

“I got you something. Tahani said you have trouble sleeping. I thought maybe this guy could help?” She produces the minion toy from behind her back.

Michael’s eyes sparkle and he instantly reaches out to take it.

“So ugly!” They cheer, hugging it to their front.

Eleanor chuckles. Still so easily impressed.

“Can’t argue there...Also, I picked up those paperclips of yours. Did you know you can do this with them?” She holds up the chain; “Gimmie your wrist a minute.”

Michael frowns, hiding behind the toy a little.

“I won’t bite, dude. Kids are way too gross to eat. You’re too stringy and bony.” She wrinkles her nose.

They blink at her before slowly holding out their wrist. Eleanor takes the paperclips and links them around Michael’s arm, forming a bracelet.

The child gasps, clearly thinking they’ve seen it for the first time; “Holy motherforking shirtballs.”

“Damn, you kiss Tahani with that mouth?” That must have been another residue memory tucked away.

Michael sneers; “Kissing is gross.”

“It’s pretty weird if you think about it, yeah.” She concedes, glad they’re at least talking, as much conversation as she can have with a billion year old immortal that’s lost their mind as they regrow in the body of a haunting little girl; “...What about hugs? You like them, right?”

The kid nods, eagerly.

“...Maybe I could have one, someday? If we can be friends? I’d like that...” More than they could know right now. More than anything else, even having Chidi remember her. This...This is just as painful, because she can’t be sure if this is fixable.

Eleanor crosses her legs as she sits, facing her friend.

“I’m so sorry, Michael. I know...you don’t understand that right now but...I’m sorry for why you’re scared of me...I wouldn’t ever wanna hurt you. Please believe me.”

Trust me? God, she’s such a hypocrite.

The kid eyes her, up and down, before turning to the flowers. They bend down, picking a few up into a small bouquet of daisies. Michael turns and hands it out to her.

“Oh...Uhh....Thanks...” Eleanor reaches for them.

Michael’s blue eyes flash red. The flowers burst into flames.

“Forking shirt!” Eleanor jumps.

And still the kid holds them out; “Pretty, right?”

A heartfelt laugh tumbles out of her; “...I can tell Jason’s been here.” Or maybe that was part of her friend’s demon nature. Either way, it was adorable. “Thank you, Michael.” she says, taking the flaming daisies. “You know...if you want, I could show you how to make chains out of these? We could make a crown for Tahani?”

“And ones for me and you?” Michael asks, hopeful.

Eleanor’s lip quivers, a sudden lump in her throat. She reaches out to run her palm over her friend’s white hair, soft as it’s always been; “Yeah...Me and you too, bud.”

#rose says she can't fix things #then immediately writes something to fix it #as weird as this is #like borderline crack fic #but still works within the canon #fluffy angst #hellstrop brotp fic #michael x tahani sistp #genderfluid michael #hints of future cottagecore teleanor? we'll see

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twiststreet · 3 years

Photo

New favorite purchase in a while: my copy of OffGrid magazine (or “recoil offgrid...?”) that I bought at the Sacramento airport because I missed what magazines used to be: little short opportunities on the most casual possible basis to find out about a world not your own, paid attention to with scrutiny but some editorial distance, I guess is how I’d put it. The last days of magazines were a while ago (and the heyday was before I was alive, the heyday was the 60′s)-- and the internet’s attempts to do magazines all seem to have failed, RIP Grantland or whatever. But it was an hour long plane flight and I didn’t want to read the novel I brought with me, so.

OffGrid seemed like it’d be a fun one-- I mean, that jacket. What’s going on with that guy’s life that he was like “I need to wear this jacket?” How much time got spent posing that collar. Why is he in using a laptop in the woods...? You can’t see what’s on the bag to his left but it’s the words “Mystery Ranch.” I wanted to solve that mystery!!!

Plus: for a good solid moment, I was like, “Man, what if I had a DIY Junkyard Knife Project. What if that’d be good for me, like, as a new thing? What if immersing myself into high-end artisnal shivs could become a fun side hustle? I could sell my bespoke shanks at Guns and Knives Shows.” My whole thing lately has been trying to pivot and all, so. You know: dreams; aspirations; etc. (Bladeshow West is on October 8-9 in Long Beach and has the “West Coast Flipping Championship”, but I’m out of town).

So I open it up on the plane-- inside front cover is a photograph of a socom 16 cqb, opposite a photo of a man holding the rifle. The man’s beard is exactly what you’re imagining. Most of the ads are for guns or night vision shit (one ad is for Gatorz sunglasses, though-- “the world’s best eyewear for mission driven people”). Besides that, it’s a normal-looking magazine, albeit not a particularly inspired one on the design side, but. There’s a gear section like men’s magazines always have, but for the “ultimate go bag”, bikes, “urban use” hiking boots, dinner sausages, thermal optics, knives, and a book called “The Ninja Wilderness Survival Guide.” Ninjas were big outdoorsmen. You know: so far so good-- exactly what I wanted. It’s a magazine for MEN in all caps so everything being sold is exclusively black or grey or grey-brown.

And it’s got that sort of “we’re a magazine” tone to the prose, like there’s a certain style of writing that magazines always have-- it’s such a narrow band of style that people are okay with reading... but like from the survivalist sausage review:

“As much as we fancy ourselves survivalists, not all of us are going to take down a buck, field dress it, and haul it back to home base during a weekend camping trip with the family. Sometimes we just ilke to chill and and make s’mores.”

That sort of performance of humility that magazines have. “We’re all just people here. Now here’s our review of a $90 hatchet” (‘perfect for batoning wood.’). Part of me wants to live in the world of magazines...

But then you get to the Good Part-- the article “What If Your Privacy has Been Compromised by Internet Doxing” by ... “Recoil Offgrid Staff.” Ohhhh, I see what they did there. You’re not going to dox the person who wrote this article, folks. (Except the names of staff are all listed in the magazine credits, so not the tightest op-sec I’ve ever seen, but okay).

This article kind of catches the eye because of the extremely specific hypotheticals.

Because it’s an article about what to do about internet doxing but it begins with a section called “The Setup”, laying out a scenario that YOU, the READER, might have to worry about, a situation where you might very well get doxed and then what??? Here’s that part of the article:

The Setup: imagine you attended a city council meeting to express your concern about the side effect of a growing homeless population in your area. You plan to voice your concern for your famliy’s safety after witnessing an increase in drug sales, sexual assaults and public defecation. [...] Some activists who attended this meeting did so in an effort to retaliate against residents who were speaking out against the homeless problem. [..] An online petition appearing to solicit residents to push for legislation that imposes tougher penalties against homelessness had recently been started. [...] Everyone who’d signed up had been catfished. [...] Now, hostile notes are being left in your mailbox, harassing calls and texts from blocked numbers are coming in and you genuinely fear that the reprisals will become physical.”

The entire premise of the article is that you say something so hateful at a city council meeting about “how we need to punish the homeless” that the internet causes you to fear for your safety!! Your A+ plan to **have the same decrepit bureaucracy that’s allowed a homeless crisis to just terrorize people because they can’t pay for basic survival** is so despised that you need to read a magazine article urging you to (and this is a quote) “decide whether to stay at my residence, leave my house temporarily, or permanently move.”

(The worst doxing I ever saw was because women went near video games, but).

Just this ultra-specific hypothetical! There’s a real “office staff” 10000% got made fun of on twitter for yelling some dumb shit stink to the proceedings from, ike, paragraph 3 on. And if you were wondering whether the article would complain about vaccines later, you betcha. In a later section, the article warns you to obtain situational awareness and not engage with internet crackpots, but the hypothetical example they give is “Did that person actually say they believe that anyone who’s hesitant to be vaccinated should be compelled to do so or be banned from participating in any social activity?” Use your situational awareness! Stay away from that person online but insist on coughing around them socially! They can dox you just for trying to negligently murder their immuno-compromised grandpa!! Here’s an ad for a gun.

Here’s a drawing that comes with the article:

The reader is being asked to relate to the person looking at the phone! “That’s probably what you look like.” I mean... seems fair?

The next article is with a veteran of the IDF. There’s an article about hiding secret messages in memes (the example is a meme of a dog that say “love is in the air or is that bacon?”), which suggests you hide images in “raunchy images” since casual onlookers may click away from those faster... on the internet... where raunchy images are frowned upon?? There’s an article about how to escape if you’re ever tied up with duct tape (i’m going to live forever). There’s an article about the kinds of reptiles you want to hunt when you’re trying to survive that tells readers not to hunt crocodiles, and stick to snakes and lizards-- there goes my weekend.

But I just love that at the very core of this, that they say the quiet part out loud, that the reason you need all this survivalist knowledge and tactical gear is... because quote “self-proclaimed social justice” people out there don’t want to hear your A+ super-good ideas about society. A young person called me a Mayonnaise-Turd for refusing to be vaccinated and coughing on all the produce at Krogers. What’s the best tactical knife I can buy? Waaaah. Just the constant fear that drips off of these morons, because they live in a world where they get called stupid finally with the regularity they’ve long deserved. Just the most scared fucking cowards-- they need night vision goggles to fucking go to Dave & Busters, because these stay-puft marshmallow men think that AntiFa is going to bumrush the Dave & Busters for their skeeball tickets.

I love anytime you scratch away at Real Masculinity and find the throbbing, wet Hyperemotional Pussy underneath that’s there like at least 7 out of 10 times. That was basically the premise of the entire early 00′s in comedy, and I had a really good time, but then woke comedy-scolds made them stop and then ended comedy and replaced comedy with Bo Burnham filming himself crying while waiting for Door Dash in his mansion. I don’t understand the world anymore! I wish I’d owned a PFC9 Compact pistol with aggressive slide serrations when children killed bromance comedies!!!! Jason Segal and Paul Rudd haven’t made a movie together in years-- time to go off the grid!

#Civilization is Doomed.

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gracedpersassonality · 3 years

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The Best Present - A Little Christmas Story

I wish we were kissing under mistletoe

The stars on the sky just can't match your glow

Now I can't wait 'til you're by my side

We'll be warm by the fire all night, oh

I wanna hold you while the bells are all ringing

Want you to be here while the angel's singing

Days are perfect when I got you near

My only wish is you here

Christmas Without You - Ava Max

The snow was slowly falling in big white flakes to the ground and covered everything with a beautiful thick coat. The streets were empty and everything was peaceful silent. Percy was shivering from the cold and pulled his scarf a bit tighter. He was running late as usual. Leo invited all of them for Christmas eve to his home like he did every year. He loved the tradition. And the food. And the decorations. And the fact that mostly everyone of their friends was able to come. It was far too seldom that all of them saw each other.

Percy went a bit faster which wasn't easy because the floor was icy and slippery and he was carrying his Secret Santa present for Annabeth in both hands and balanced the blue homemade chocolate chip cookies from his mother on top of it.

He almost made it safe to Leo's front door. Almost. On the path to the house was ice under the snow and Percy slipped, pressing the gift and the cookies to his chest, trying to catch himself. "Woah! Watch out!" Jason shouted before he grabbed him in the last second and made him standing still again. "Gotcha" he chuckled.

"Oh gods thank you. You saved me and the cookies." Percy said breathless.

"For the sake of the cookies look where you're going the next time." Jason joked.

"Yes... You're right. The next time I just fly to the door. No big deal." Percy replied sarcastically looking into Jason's bright blue eyes. They sparkled in the Christmas lights and reflected all the different colours. Percy can't help it and a goofy grin spread over his face which Jason mirrored. The snowflakes has covered Jason's blond hair, which made it look white and his cheeks where light red from the cold. This was one of these moments Percy got totally lost. He just want to take a picture and framed it that's how beautiful Jason looks in these light.

He was shaking his head to clear his mind, he was getting creepy again. He really had fallen for Jason in the last year. There were these moments when they looked at each other a second too long or when they touched accidentally. But it never happend more than this. They never cross the line that would end their friendship. Percy still waited for the perfect moment to confess his love. He was to afraid that he just interpreted too much in their interactions. Maybe Jason was just too dense to get the hints Percy dropped time by time. Maybe Percy was just wishing that Jason always seemed to making excuses to touch him or be in his near.

Jason cleared his throat. "Maybe we should go inside."

It took it's time till Percy realised what Jason said. " Yeah I guess so." But both didn't move. They still locked their eyes, smiling like idiots and no one want to look away first. It hit him like a sudden and blinding realization and it dawned to him. This moment seemed to be perfect. "Uhm, Jason? I have to tell you something." Suddenly he was getting really nervous. What if Jason didn't feel the same? Would he believe him? What if he even laugh at him? What if Percy was about to destroy their friendship right now? Maybe he should wait with it after the party. Then he wouldn't ruin it by make it awkward at least. He felt like a coward. He just was searching for excuses.

"What now? Say what's on your mind." Jason face turned serious.

He got an urgent feeling of throwing up. "It's freaking cold and I'm freezing. Let's go inside. Why doesn't the cold bother you too?" He said laughing. Hopefully Jason didn't hear that it was forced. Yep, he definitely was a coward.

They knocked at the with ornaments decorated door and Hazel opened it. The smell of pine, cinnamon and hot chocolate filled the cold evening air and Christmas songs are played in the background. "Ah there you are, we're finally complete. You two are late. What happened?"

"Nothing" Percy said a little bit too fast as he entered the house, hoping that everyone attributed his red face to the change from the cold outside to the warm inside.

"Percy's just being clumsy not more", Jason laughed and entered the house as well.

Both took off their thick coats and scarfs and hang them on the wardrobe. "Nice sweater Percy" Jason teased him.

"I can only give that back." Two years ago Jason had Percy as his secret santa and he got the ugliest sweater Percy could found. It was baby blue with lighting bolts on it which actually can blink. The next year Percy got his payback. Jason bought him a green sweater with tiny waves on it. There were also a button which caused an awful sung christmas song when it was pressed. Percy secretly loved it.

Hazel led them to living room. They were welcomed by 'Merry Christmas Everyone' that was blasted by Leo's sound system. Percy couldn't stop to be surprised how much efford Leo put in the decorations every year. And he tops himself year by year. There was a huge christmas tree with every kind of decoration you could put on. The whole room had it's own christmas themed light installation and Percy really become worried that all of this would end in a short circuit.

The whole crew was spread out in the room. Frank, Reyna and Piper were sitting on the couch chatting and eating from the with sweets filled plates in front of them. Leo and Annabeth standing in the corner bowed over some cables and it seems like he was explaining how he managed the power distribution. Grover, Will and Rachel were standing in front of the music system singing along. Only Thalia wasn't there. She was on the other side of the country and didn't make it this year.

Jason and Percy put their presents under the tree while Hazel took the cookies and put them in the kitchen. As she came back she shoved Nico in the room with the words "You can't stay in there forever." "But there I don't have to deal with all these happy people." He mumbled, but everyone knows that Nico secretly was enjoying the Christmas Partys.

"I'm going to grab us some hot chocolate" Jason declared and vanished in the kitchen. He came back with two steaming cups. Percy has joined their friends on the couch and so did Jason. As he recognized that there were only blue marshmallows in his cup, a smile stole on his face again. He was always smiling when Jason was around.

And so the time passed away with a lot of laughter, crooked sung songs and many happy faces. Even Nico smiled from time to time and everyone was filled with love for their friends.

After everyone had handed over the presents, Percy just leaned back and enjoyed the scene which was chaotic as usual. Annabeth already has started to read in one of the books Percy got her, while Leo was leaning over her shoulder and pointed at something in the book. His socks he got from Grover were flashing like a Christmas tree. Frank with his new purple sweater from Reyna was about to put a necklace around Hazel's neck. Jason gave Nico a new necklace as well and Rachel got a new sketchbook set from Piper and was about to draw her sitting under the Christmas tree. She was reading the voucher she got from Will and Reyna got a new pair of dog leashes and collars from Annabeth. Will was presenting his new shirt from Hazel which fits the one Nico was wearing. Rachel's gift for Grover was a new pair of shoes she has customized. Leo tried to get Thalia home for Christmas but it wasn't possible so he organized a video call for Jason as a compromise solution. And Percy has to keep himself from starring at Jason who was laughing with his sister. Little tears of joy in the corner of his eyes. He himself received new gloves and a matching scarf from Nico.

He was so happy that he can count so many people as his friends. No they were more than friends. This was his second family. And he knew that everyone was feeling the same.

After some time has passed, Jason ended the call and looked a bit sad for a moment, but quickly recovered. His sister was the only one left from his family and it was the first time he was supposed to be alone on Christmas and new year. Percy leaned over to Jason and whispered: "Don't tell anyone but remember me to give you your Christmas gift when we are leaving." Maybe it was against the rules of Secret Santa but he couldn't stop himself to get Jason a present as well.

"That's not fair! I haven't a present for you." He whispered back.

"Nah it's fine. It didn't cost anything so it's totally okay"

"So you made it by yourself? Now I want to know what it is."

"You will see." Percy made his troublemaker smile and looked into Jason prying eyes.

"Hey you two lovebirds, " Reyna interrupted their eye contact with a snap and both turned their heads towards her, "I've asked if you want to play charade with us but you seem to be busy."

"No no. I would love to play! What about you Jase?"

"I'm in!"

Laughter filled the house and in the end nobody knew who won.

It was late. Very very late. Well past midnight. Maybe Percy fall asleep once or twice, he wasn't really sure by himself. "Maybe I should go home soon", he declared with a yawn, his head resting on Jason's shoulder.

"Yeah me too." Jason shifted a bit, so he can look in Percy's tired eyes. "I drive you home. It's cold and dark outside and I don't accept a 'No'."

Percy knew he didn't have a chance to deny. Jason could be very stubborn when it come to situations like this. So he didn't resist and as a bonus he has time to give Jason his gift. After a lot of hugs they were driving to Percy's.

"So the present I was talking about... You still alone on Christmas?" Percy asked softly.

"Yeah but it doesn't matter I'm fine, just having myself a little Merry Christmas you know" Everybody would believe him but not Percy. Jason's voice was a tiny bit rougher than normal.

He could feel his heart nervously beating in his chest. "You can stay with us. I asked mom already and she said she would be very happy if you would join us."

"No I can't." Percy felt his heart stutter. He planned this since he knew that Thalia wouldn't make it. Nobody should be alone. Especially not Jason.

"Why not?"

"It's your family and I don't have any presents. I can't crash Christmas without presents."

Percy let out a released laugh. "That's what you are worried about? Well than you can come with me. I bought too many gifts anyways. We just change the tags. And for me it's really enough when you celebrate with us. How about that?"

A defeated smile stole on Jason's face. "Only if I can give you your money back."

"Alright. If you want to drive home first, you need to pack your things, you can stay at my home. It's already late and so you can't oversleep. " in the joy of Jason saying Yes he invited him spontaneously but regretted it right after saying it. He didn't want to overdo it so hopefully it wasn't a big deal for Jason.

"Unlike you I never oversleep but I would love to stay at your's"

Percy looked with a wide smile outside the car window. This was one was on it's best way to be the best Christmas ever.

As they were finally parking by Percy's mom it's started to snow again. Luckily they didn't have to drive anymore. His house wasn't decorated like Leo's but at least there were Christmas lights and one look at Jason was enough to be reminded of earlier this day. His eyes, it were always his eyes that made Percy fall in love with him a little more. And the way he was smiling at this moment brightened his heart. “You know this is one of the best presents I ever could get? I thought I would be lonely on Christmas." There were tears in his eyes and without thinking Percy hugged him.

"Nobody deserves to be alone if they doesn't want to. And I am so happy you are here with me."

"Thank you." Jason voice cracked and he cleard his throat. Percy let go and before he could start a second try to confess his love he pulled out his key awkwardly and said: "You don't have to thank me. But I'm freezing, let's get inside." At which point in his life he turned in this little coward? The problem was Jason was way too important for him and he didn't want to lose him.

"I guess my family already fall asleep, so we have to be silent." Percy whispered as he opened the door. They entered the house and walked as quiet as possible through the hallway till Jason suddenly stopped.

"You okay?" Percy turned around an looked at him. He seemed to be a bit nervous. Maybe he was afraid what his family could say.

After not answering his question Percy tried to calm Jason. "Hey, you don't have to be afraid or something. My family knows that you are coming with me. And especially Estelle is glad to see you."

"Yeah I know, that's not the problem."

"Then what is it?" Percy started to getting nervous too. What if Jason didn't want to be here and was just too polite to deny and now he regretted it? But Jason seemed so happy to be here a few seconds ago. So what was making him so nervous?

"Look up." He didn't suspect this reply at all and look at the ceiling in confusion.

A mistletoe. There was a mistletoe above him and while Percy still was wondering why it was there, because his mom never hung up one, Jason take a step towards Percy. Percy slowly look back to Jason. He could feel his heart beating in his chest. Jason was starring on his lips. He couldn´t breathe. He couldn´t think. With a glance in his eyes Jason made sure if Percy was okay with this and finally overcome the last few centimeters. Cross the line of their friendship.

And then he kissed him.

Once, twice and then a third time. They couldn´t stop and soon it happend that Jsaon was pressing Percy against the wall. It taste like Christmas and chocolate and it felt like finally coming home.

They only broke away from each other to catch a breath. Jason leaned his forehead against Percy's, while their hearts were racing, both with a big smile on their face and a little bit of disbelive in their eyes. Like this was a wonderful dream. "Merry Christmas, Percy." Jason whispered.

Percy was way too overwhelmed to reply but one glance was enough to know this wasn't just a kiss under the mistletoe. This kiss was the certainty that his feelings wasn't one-sided. This kiss was all he ever wanted. And this kiss was the best present he ever could get for Christmas.

#jercy #percy and jason #jason and percy #jason grace #percy jackson #and yes I still don't know how to use the tags correctly 😂#There is a chance that I wrote the first 1000 words in the end of May and yes I listen to Christmas music in the summer and I'm proud of it

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t-lostinworlds · 4 years

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The Devil All The Time: A Review That No One Asked For

Well, I don’t know why I’ve been putting this off but here I am 48 hours later. Though the fact that I’m still thinking about the movie two days later is proof how long it stays with you right after you watch it. By all means, I’m not an expert reviewer aha so this maybe all over the place but: It is a good movie. It wasn’t perfect of course, the flow could’ve been a tad bit better, and the narrator threw me off sometimes, a few missing bits in terms of the characters but it’s still good nonetheless. I do want to point out that the movie wasn’t as dark and brutal as how the book went. It wasn’t a graphic or gore as I’d expected it because some critics did overplay it. So, if you’ve read the book, the movie will come off as a much lighter tone. Also, if you watched GoT, then you’ll be fine with the gore. But with that said, there are still triggering scenes so people should still be mindful when watching. A couple of changes but that’s a given with every book adaptation but there were a few that I thought was better in the movie than in the book, which I will get more into in a sec because I’ll try and keep this other half spoiler free.

The visuals, the cinematography, it was beautiful. I loved how everything looked on screen, scenery, colors, lighting, the whole lot. The music and the little added touches of sound effects was just so spot on that you just feel more on edge as the movie goes, like little ticks here and there. Now, the cast, whew. Nobody fell short with their performance. Some might have smaller screen times than others but still, nobody was lackluster or pushed to the side and they gave their best with the material they were given. Although, I may be biased but from what I’ve been seeing around I think we can all agree that Tom Holland struck out the most (I’ll gush about him more under the cut aha).

Long babbling short, I loved it. Right after I finished watching, it truly did feel like I went running lol, like I got so into it that those last few moments (or every intense scene for that matter) that it had me at the edge of my seat. But I also wanted to watch it again soon after. It may not be for everyone’s taste, although I am interested to see what the people who haven’t read the book thought of it because I do see how it can come off confusing in some parts. I already knew what was going to happen and some background on why it happened so it was easy for me to fill in the missing pieces. But with that said, it’s still a good adaptation and it stayed as true as it can get to the books. 8.5/10 would recommend watching, with caution of course.

a more detailed (specific scenes, characters, actors performance, and more) rambling below the cut aka spoilers ahead!!

I’m going to start off with Willard Russell who was played so well by Bill Skarsgård. I haven’t seen anything else of his before but he was so good in this movie. His interaction with Haley Bennett's character Charlotte was different from the book but I'm not mad on how it played out in the movie either. It was a cute and a little awkward interaction which was all good. Charlotte is exactly how I thought of her, a sweet, beautiful, caring lady and Haley played her just as well. Especially with the scene where she and Arvin were singing together, that was just the sweetest thing.

But back to Willard (Bill) and all his interaction with little Arvin (who was also so great btw), it was just damn. For one, in the truck after he beat the living daylights out of those men, that switch of him being out of breath and angry and him teaching Arvin about those bullies and finding the right time and him saying, "there's a lot of no good sons of b*tches out there." to when Arvin asked him if it was more than a hundred and he chuckled as if he didn't almost just killed a man? And then suddenly he was back to this loving father who cares so much about his family and would anything to protect and defend them (sounds familiar right? Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.) Although I will say that Willard is a much horrible person in the book than he was in the film. The prayer log could've gotten more… bloody and gross as time passed by. And the thing with Jack Russell (Arvin's dog, who wasn't actually a jack russell but oh well), they changed it so that he was with them longer so it did have more weight if you put it that way since Arvin has grown to love Jack, so killing him off screen was still going to be heart breaking. But in the book, it was a stray dog that wandered into their place and Arvin fed him, named him but on the same day, as soon as Willard got home he shot the dog right in front of Arvin. Now that would've been much crueler and could've showed just how far gone Willard is with his whole "faith" and how desperate he was on saving his wife who he's so in love with but damn, the things love can make people do. Or, they could've added the part where Willard killed the lawyer and poured his blood on the prayer log because that for me was a turning point in the book where I went, Willard has lost his freakin mind with the sacrifices. They did show the lawyer in the movie that's why I was a bit confused when it didn't happen but you can't cram anymore into a 2-hour movie. To conclude, this movie made me want to watch more of Bill for sure, but I'm too scared to watch IT (im a coward) so looking forward to what he does in the future.

Next I want to talk about are Helen, Roy and Theodore. Mia Wasikowska was great. She had so little screen time but whenever you see her on screen she just embodies Helen so well. Helen didn't have much to do in the book either aside from the fact that she was supposed to marry Willard and then didn't because Willard went off with Charlotte and Helen went to marry Roy which was kind of the starting to point as to why everything in their life has gone to hell, and then be a sweet mother to Lenora. But besides that, Mia gave her best and served the character well in my opinion. Theodore on the other hand could've done so so much more. Given that he was the driving force that made Roy kill Helen. If ever I haven't read the book, it would’ve look rather random how suddenly he wanted to try resurrection. Roy and Theodore's relationship could've been explained more, specifically Theo's feelings because that was why he pushed Roy to do it. Now, Harry Melling as Roy Laferty was great. The scene with the spiders and then the emotions you see in his face and his eyes when he tried to resurrect Helen? Remarkable. The slow realization that it wasn't working, the shift on his face was so clear and that momene where it crosses his mind that he just killed his wife it was just, Dudley Dursley who? Though his death came earlier than I expected, and they changed quite a lot and it felt so random how he just left Theo in the car and went on a hitchhike when in the book, Theo died first that's why Roy decided to try and go back to his daughter. But his death scene was still intense, and the fact that his last word was Lenora? His daughter? Amazing.

So, now we see Carl and Sandy Henderson, who showed immediately how crazy they were when they killed Roy (who wasn't their first kill but). Both Riley Keough and Jason Clarke were fantastic, and they really did bring the uneasiness so well on screen. And I love how you can actually see how Sandy change from the first time we see her to the last, like it looked like Sandy was played by two different actresses so huge props to Riley for smashing that role from innocent sweet girl to this troubled serial killer. Although I wished their story was showed better, more so Carl than Sandy because out of the two, Carl was much, much sicker in the head than Sandy. He was the one who'd constantly look at those horrible photos and do…stuff, which was so sooo gross to read I feel sick just thinking about it. But Jason Clarke did a great job at portraying Carl's creepiness as much as he could, like I couldn't bear looking at him on screen without grimacing.

Lee Bodecker. Sebastian Stan did a great job a making him insufferable that's for sure. I always love how the moment Lee is on screen Seb is just gone. He just never failed to feel like this weird and corrupt cop or sheriff. Although I will say, his and Sandy's relationship could've been showed better because I have seen where people didn't realize they were siblings until the end. But I do like how you see that Lee doesn't really care that much for Sandy, I mean he does, but not as much. His mind has always been about being re-elected and having these stories about Sandy won't make him look good does it? Though his emotions in the end when he was in that car with Sandy was really spot on.

Emma and Earskell, I won't really dive into much because there's really isn't much to say than they were both great. They both made Arvin and Lenora feel like they do have a family and that they weren't alone, like they just came off as kind people on screen. But gosh Emma, that woman deserves a proper vacation for everything that she's went through. But Lenora, oh gosh, her story and how it ended was the most painful to read and watch. She was just a sweet innocent girl who got bullied and she deserved none of that. Eliza Scanlen was just wow. I loved her in Little Women, loved her even more on here as well. And her chemistry with Arvin (Tom) in the movie was just amazing, like they bounced of each other so well and you can see with just one look how much she admires Arvin. But the last scene where you can see her face, that split moment when she paused and then slowly smiled as she thought how her grandma won't be ashamed, and that she will take care of her baby and give it the life that it deserves but then she slipped and that made the scene even more heart wrenching. Let me tell, I screamed "Nooooo!" when I read it in the book and I screamed just as loud when I saw it on screen despite already knowing how it ends.

That f*cking rev. tergaryen what's his face. I couldn’t stand him in the book couldn’t stand him just as much in the movie which says a lot on how great of an actor Robert Pattison is. Each time he's on screen I emotionally and physically just can't stand him. Mind you I watched all his scenes with the Reaster girl and his wife with a proper scowl and kept looking away. But his scene with Lenora in the car I was peeking through my fingers because I can't sit and watch it fully because it was just so disgusting to watch. Robert Pattison played him so well that even his voice was just so creepy like dude, shut up. And when he was manipulating Lenora, rambling about his freakin delusions? Ugh I really wanted to punch the screen, big kudos to Rob for bringing that disgusting character to life. And well, I'll say he did get what he deserved in the end so.

Last but definitely not the least, Tom Holland as Arvin Russell. Gosh, where do I even start with this lad? This boy has range I can tell you that. I'm going to be talking so much about him so haha sorry but he was just amazing and I need to point out so many things. First scene was his birthday, and you can see how he seemed like just a normal, happy boy celebrating with the people the he loves but the moment Uncle Earskell handed the gun and mentioned that it was his father, his whole mood changes, his whole face fell and the look in Tom's EYES, his eyes does so much to portray his emotions and goodness he's so freakin amazing at switching from one emotion to another in so little time. To be honest, Arvin in the book is much more cold and harsh, even when it's towards Lenora and his Grandma. Hell, he makes sly digs at Lenora in the book which is more of a way to make her see how cruel the world is, sorta a tough love kinda of thing. He's just not that affectionate, with how he grew up, it's a given.

But Tom brought so much more depth to the character that even I didn't see as much while reading the book. Which is why people are so drawn to him, it makes him easier to sympathize and like in the movie, all because Tom added even more layers (i need my onion emoji dammit). I mean, Arvin is complex as is in the book, a lot colder for sure, but with how Tom portrayed him you just get to think so much more on what could possibly be going on in Arvin's head. You can just see all sorts of emotions the character goes through, from being rash, to angry, to hatred, to fear, to sadness, to vulnerability and these emotions happen so close to each other that the switch is just incredibly impressive. When he charged towards those bullies to protect Lenora? This is where you can see that when he's filled with rage, he sometimes doesn't think things through. It was three against one with guys much bigger than him, it was obvious he was never going to win but he still did so anyway because he loved Lenora, he'd do anything to protect and avenge her, why? It's what his father taught him. It's what he saw when he was a kid, that no matter if it’s a violent act, he'll do it for the people that he loves. Like i said in the beginning, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

There so much like father like son moments in this film, which didn't even come off forced because I've seen in an interview where Bill and Tom read their lines together despite not having a scene together and oh did it pay off because you can see a little bit of the Willard you see on the first bit of the movie in Arvin all throughout, which is again, a testament to how great these actors are. Also, Tom's scenes together with Eliza are just wow. It's incredible how much they contrast each other but still be connected in a way, like Lenora is this sweet innocent girl who's kind hearted and is willing to forgive her father for whatever he could've done while Arvin, gosh, every mention of his father his face always falls stoic and it's so amazing to see Tom play that emotion so well with so little movement like a clench of his jaw or his eyes. Their relationship was just so wholesome. Even with that scene in the meat shop where Arvin was teasing his grandma, it was such a sweet moment to see that side of him because in the book, the interaction was just plain he said, she said which I interpreted as being nothing more than a casual conversation but in the movie it was more light-hearted which is so interesting given the a few moments later, you see Arvin's rage again and he was already in fight mode when that preacher insulted Emma's cooking (which was a so not okay that freakin imbecile) which again, slowly opens the doors to how far Arvin will go for the sake of protecting and avenging the ones he love. Also, the fact that they changed who found Lenora's body to Arvin instead of Earskell was far better. My heart freakin broke for that boy when he was screaming as he tried to keep her up in hopes that he could still save her. Thomas Stanley Holland man, that scene was just wow, it was a lot to take in. But that change only added as to how he was going to handle the preacher later in the movie.

What did impress me the most was the quick switch Tom makes with his emotions. First off, that moment with those bullies. He was relentless with how he handled them, just full on anger and hatred like when he beat those boys best believe I kept flinching because it looked painful as hell. And then he says, "I'll kill you." (with that thunder sound which was a really nice touch), and this is where you just see how he's someone you shouldn't mess with who can potentially do so much more damage (which he does). But the moment he gets in his car and closes the door? You see nothing but a kid who's downright scared of what he just did, he knew it was somewhat wrong, like he couldn't actually believe he did that in the first place but as he'd said, he did it because had to and felt like it was the only way, which is again, a callback to what he saw with his father with them 'bullies,' it drilled on him how that's the only way. But my goodness the way his hand shook, his breathing, the fear in his eyes, and then when he wiped the blood on his hand then that flashback with Willard? Yes yes yes, another like father like son moment.

It's the same thing with the way he handled the preacher, it was much more different in the book but I liked this version better. There's just something poetic about it being in the church all while Arvin confessed the preacher's sins for him, it was just amazing writing. But the way his hands shook when he was standing the first time he enters? Like he could’ve done it right then and there but he can't because he's scared. I mean the way his voice was breaking with that sinner line (which was so funny how they made it seem so badass in the trailer) he was trying to get himself together, like the way he was breathing so shakily shows his nerves and his fear. But as he reiterated all the disgusting things the preacher did, you see that rage bubble inside him, you see him slowly grow more confident because his fear was now replaced by anger. And once that his rage was at full capacity, the moment they started talking about Lenora? (Tom and Rob's exchange was amazing btw) He was able to shoot him down with one hand, shaking gone all because he was angry. But as soon as he's dead and the anger subsides, the fear is so quick to consume him, you see it the moment he sits down. And again with his eyes you see it all in his eyes, just Tom Frickin Holland everybody. That exchange was easily the best one.

As for his interaction with Carl and Sandy, his expressions in the back seat as he slowly realizes what was going to happen to him, it was just amazing. This is where you see more of Arvin actually being smart, he's a bit rash and compulsive sure but he is definitely smart. But now, you don't see his anger because he doesn't know this people, the only thing he knows is that they were trying to kill him. So notice how he shot Carl with two hands this time? and how he was shaking exactly as he pulled the trigger? Same with Sandy? Compare that to how he handled the preacher. Also his fear when he thought he got shot? The utter panic was just, though he did puke in the book which would've showed just how much he didn't like what he just did and how he felt so wrong. Same with his interaction with Lee, he knows how asses his situation and damn, I don’t know if its sheer dumb luck or this boy just got incredible aim, I mean he's practiced in the books and he's gotten good but you don't see it in the movie though. But still the same, you see more of him being regretful which just shows how complex he is as a character. And Tom showed all these emotions so freakin well without saying much at all. You just see it, which shows just how talented he is.

Everything somewhat came full circle in the end, he buried Jack's bones which what he's been wanting ever since. And he also buried the gun, which was somewhat him saying how he's had somewhat a closure with his father and that he's putting it all in the pass. And then we end the movie with him trying not to fall asleep which honestly what it felt like after watching the movie. I needed a breather. That last shot was so calming though it does make you wonder where he goes on from here.

My goodness I could go on and on about Tom's performance and I definitely missed so much more but I feel like this is long enough lmao. Also feel like i’ve missed a few moments in the movie as well. Now I hope people will see what good of an actor he is and to show that he's more than just playing Peter Parker. Right, that's enough. I'm going to say how many words in total this was but, it's a lot.

And that is it for The Devil All the Time. A very good movie, would want to watch again but damn, I feel like I need a nap because what a movie indeed.

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greytoiletpaper · 3 years

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Out on Allen Street, it’s 7 in the Morning

Set in the Street Siblings au by @a-sketchy-character | @streetsiblings without which I may not have had the motivation to write this much.

Drizzle | Deluge | Squall | AO3

Chapter 4: susurration

The world is dark.

Somehow, she knows how many marks and cuts criss-cross her body; how many bruises decorate her like a canvas. But she can’t feel them, not even one.

Instead, all she can do is listen, tuning in to the rain as it pours, as red droplets fall in time off of Mad Dog’s blade. If she really listens to the sound, it almost sounds like a different boy’s laughter.

She focuses on the noise and it alone, her body so perfectly still.

Mad Dog thrusts his blade to her chest, and Cassandra’s eyes open.

They’ve only been in Gotham for a week, yet, it feels like he never left. At least for Park Row, the “Crime Alley”, the city has never changed. Slowly, the Red Hood and Ravager make the area their own. He does everything to make sure that the Bat never catches a whiff of what he’s doing. He knows it is pointless; even if Bruce knew, he would be too much of a coward to venture into the evil heart of the city.

It infuriates him, the remnants of the old argument. If Batman was ever truly needed. It would be - no, should be - here. In the black, beating heart of Gotham, where crime and cruelty channel through its citizens as if it were in their own blood. Yet for all he prattles about his crusade of justice, Bruce will never set foot into Crime Alley; too hung up on the ghosts of his past to banish the ones that haunt others.

It’s why he’s wearing the original persona of the man who murdered him. Jason had lived these streets, born and raised and died because of them. Deep down, Jason understands what Bruce simply refuses to believe. Some people simply want to watch the world burn, and they can never be stopped, only carefully controlled, managed or otherwise taken out. He never wants what happened to him to be inflicted on someone else. Not if he can help it.

Now, Red Hood is here, slinking through the darkened hallways of Arkham. Past every guard and camera until he arrives at one particular cell. He knocks on the door, and a mop of neon green flips upwards.

The madman beams; his eyes are whirlpools of chaotic energy.

“What’s this? Birdy clipped his wings!” The Joker begins, guffawing like a howling hyena. “I was wondering when you’d come back to see me, little Jay.”

To his credit, Jason doesn’t react. The pneumatic seals of the helmet hiss as it comes off. The Joker never takes his eyes off his face.

“There you are, my boy. Just like your uncle Jay” The lunatic says without tone, feral grin seeming plastered. “Say, you seen Cass anywhere?”

That makes him shift uneasily on his feet. The Joker leans in close, almost conspiratorially.

“You think the Bat ran her out? That he…” Something morbid flashes in the eyes of his monster. “Killed her just like I did you?”

Jason wants to drive his fists into the man’s back. Stamp on his legs until the bones shatter. Bludgeon him over and over with whatever is on hand until the madman’s flesh is nothing but paste. Instead, he stands frozen as the cackling echoes around the room and in his ears.

“I’m not doing this for you,” Is what he says. “And I’m not doing this for me either.”

His hand lifts the pistol from its holster.

“I’m doing this because someone has to do what Batman can’t.”

The Joker takes the words in stride, nodding to himself. To Jason, it’s the calmest he has ever seen him.

“Not a fan of the whole motorcycle fetish style, but to each his own,” The madman’s eyes, still rotting in their own insanity, meet his. Something about the gaze seems so clear despite the instability. “You’re going to be wonderful for the Red Hood name.”

He sighs.

“When you do it, boy, make sure you get as much of the colour out of me.”

Jason nods and presses the barrel into Joker’s forehead, closes his eyes, and everything is silent.

He presses his hand to the glass, the rain sliding down the pane on the other side, its streams the same lengths as the rivers that flow from his red crown.

Fact One, a statement: Roman Sionis is the Black Mask, one of Gotham's most powerful crime lords with connections running deeply in the underground drugs and weapons trade.

Fact Two, an amendment: Roman Sionis is the Black Mask, arguably one of Gotham's most powerful crime lords with sizeable connections in the weapons trade.

Fact Three, a truth: He is absolutely livid with the Red Hood and the Ravager.

Roman stares at the text on the notepad; he picks it up and throws it across the room.

In the space of two nights, the new duo had taken over his entire drug operation and cut off every tie Roman had to Crime Alley. Internally, he thinks ‘cut off’ is still too lacking a description. Half of his thugs breathing through tubes for days. Pimps found castrated and dangling from lampposts. Drug dealers with their mouths frothing as they dissociated. If the rumour mill among villains is anything to go by, Red Hood had killed the Joker in his own damn cell. Roman shudders. He’d seen the images from the crime.

The pair are definitely a threat, and Roman needs him gone as soon as possible. Hiring the Joker would have been one of the best choices: effective, relatively cheap and definitely motivated to take on whoever dares don his previous mantle. Alas, reality disagrees.

Black Mask picks up the phone, ready to dial the more expensive alternative. He sighs and hopes they don’t call Deathstroke the ‘Terminator’ for nothing.

Cassandra dives away at the last second, adrenaline flushing through her body and lifting the fog from her mind. Her opponent’s blade impacts with the ground, firmly planting itself the whole way. Mad Dog, clearly thrown off, becomes an easy target with her renewed energy.

She does not hold back, unleashing a flurry of blows to the assassin’s chest, even as he tries to hold his defence together. With renewed focus, she redirects every strike he makes and strikes him back thrice as hard.

It is not long until Mad Dog is at Cassandra’s mercy, nearly a bloody pulp under her hand.

“Finish it,” Shiva calls suddenly, and she almost complies. But, with her hazy vision, the images of Faizul and the assassin blend together. The vertigo Cassandra is feeling becomes sharper, and she’s drowning in it.

In her hesitation, Shiva tuts and stabs her own blade into Mad Dog’s heart, crimson fluid spraying in all directions.

Cass doubles over, desperately heaving, and liquid green purges from her body.

Bruce stares up at the readout on the Batcomputer. There are new players in Gotham, but there’s something that makes them stand out from the others. They make headway faster than he’s ever seen it, clearing out and claiming Park Row as their own territory in a week.

Twenty-seven confirmed kills and thirty-four hospitalisations. He would have stopped with his investigation then and there. Yet, the detective in him tugs the back of his mind. He checks through the names again and finds that each one is attached to a laundry list of crimes that become more appalling the further he reads.

Then Red Hood killed the Joker; and for the first time since the madman’s debut, Gotham is quiet.

Bruce rubs his face in his hands and turns to the screens entirely dedicated to monitoring his daughter Cassandra. (The memorial makes itself known in his peripheral vision.) Her work in Hong Kong as Black Bat had been phenomenal so far. Every story he can find of her weaves the same story: Black Bat, hero of the Forgotten. Of the waylaid and the oppressed.

What would they think? Bruce finally turns to the statue, mouthing the words on the plaque to himself.

“Can you promise something for me, Bruce? Just one thing?”

“Anything for you, Jaylad.”

He tears his eyes away.

Damian becomes cagey whenever either of the three vigilantes come up in conversation. It is suspicious, but he has had the lesson very solidly ironed in his mind how unconducive to understanding he can be. So, he gives his son his space.

Despite the child's refined nature, little pieces of him remind him of Jason, far beyond the boy's temper, pride, or even his cursing. Bruce had seen Damian in the library once, his fingers tracing the spine of a newer copy of Huckleberry Finn.

Red and orange flash by his primary monitor, and Bruce pulls himself from his thoughts.

Batman rises, ready to confront whatever ghosts will taunt him in the shadows.

The world roars in her ears, and no matter how hard she tries, Cassandra can’t stop the erratic sequence of deep breaths that claw out her throat. For once she’s glad she’s not wearing her old costume. The mask reminded her too much of smoke inhalation and chains and-.

“Why?” She rasps in a throaty, breathless voice that has not escaped her for years. “Why would you do this?”

“Can’t a mother test the progress of her daughter?” Shiva replies coolly. Her stance gives off nothing, so Cassandra does not deign her a response.

“He went looking for me, you should know.”

Her head snaps up.

“He was curious. A unique girl who can read the body as if it were a book and a unique woman who can do the very same? An unlikely coincidence,” Shiva turns her head away, ducked down as if she had already admitted too much. “He asked me, if it was my choice to leave you with your father.”

“It wasn’t.”

Sandra nods.

“He told me that was, and I quote, ‘a load of shit’.”

“Sounds like Jason,” Cass mutters under her breath. A hush falls between them, not comfortable but not unwelcome either.

“It is not me you came here for,” Sandra says with such conviction that Cass can’t help but gape in her disbelief. Of course, she did. Shiva gave birth to her.

Before she can voice her thoughts, Sandra grasps her shoulder and wraps her arms around Cass.

“You’ll find your brother soon. I can promise you that.”

Gotham rumbles, her shock snaking through the crown of her scalp. She knows that tonight is the night; when events will pass and tear the whole city asunder. For better or for worse, she cannot tell.

But she is eager to find out for herself.

“Think that’s a wrap for tonight?” Jason asks quietly, almost inaudible over the Gotham rain. It’s the only coherent sentence he’s made in days, so Rose takes what she can get.

“Probably, you’re not shanghaiing me into grabbing groceries, right?”

“Maybe,” He chuckles, but even though his voice is filtered by their comms, she can tell it’s forced. “Anyone ever tell you how similar some of our problems are?”

“Really? You realised this just now?” Rose rolls her eyes because, honestly. “I mean, at least your dad isn’t some psycho assassin supervillain.”

“Aww, Rosie, making your old man sad. Truly, I’m hurt,” Hues from orange and blue armour melt from the shadows as Deathstroke emerges, eyeing her. “You don’t wear the uniform like Grant did.”

“It’s not meant to and either way, I barely knew him or Joey.” She draws her blades, trying to hide how much her arms are shaking. It doesn’t help. “No thanks to you.”

“Is that Slade?” Jason’s voice is like music to her ears, relaxing her muscles in the ways she needs.

“I made your brothers stronger,” There’s an edge to Slade’s voice, sharp as the glistening blade he brandishes. Ready to pounce at a moment’s notice. “I suggest you come with me so you can be the same.”

“What, dead because of problems you caused?” She laughs shakily, grimacing under her mask. “I suggest you fuck off.”

“I’m coming, Rose.”

“No can do. There’s a hit on the two of you, and its fait accompli,” Deathstroke makes a ‘what-can-you-do?’ gesture and Rose darts forward, her tears faster than the raindrops that dance on her skin.

Batman has followed the Red Hood for hours now, and he has no idea what to think. He expected someone wielding the Joker’s former identity to be as insane as the Clown Prince himself. Yet, the red helmet only bobs up and down as if it were in conversation rather than rotating listlessly.

Despite how antithetical the new face in Gotham is to his beliefs, some actions catch him off guard about the man.

While he has seen no deaths on this patrol, with every bone the criminal breaks, the same hands offer food to street children and escort working girls to their homes. Bruce is thrown, viscerally, into a memory of the bird that flew beside him to do the very same.

The Dark Knight watches him stalk through Park Row, freeze and then take off in another direction.

It is time.

He pursues the criminal, sprinting across the rooftops of Gotham, gliding above catwalks and fire escapes. Within minutes, he overtakes and blocks the path ahead of Red Hood, who curses and vaults over his body.

Or at least, he tries to as Batman grips the man’s ankle and slams him back into the pavement. Hood never misses a second, drawing a knife and swiping at his limbs. He lets go; the man faces him again, twirling the knife round and round.

“B,” A modulated voice hangs in the air, but there is a quality to it that tickles his conscious, like an old ghost whispering in his ears.

“Red Hood, I suggest you surrender peacefully, or I –.”

“Cut the act, alright? You think that just because you’re Batman, nobody can be above you,” Red Hood laughs. Through the modulator of his helmet, it comes off as hollow. “The truth with a saying like that –.” The knife is stowed away. “– It just means nobody is beneath you either.”

The criminal grapples him; kick, jab, punch, kick again in a rapid dance of attacks that Bruce can barely keep up with. Some of the criminal’s movements are achingly familiar yet so foreign that the composite form nauseates him. Red hood strikes over and over until he actually has him, the Dark Knight, pinned.

“And some of us can’t wait to drag you all the way down.”

Jason had always had a gift for speaking. His sister’s hands may be knives, but his words were bullets.

Breaking out of the Red Hood’s hold, that is what Bruce muses in his mind.

They’ve been at a game of cat and mouse for so long now. Locked in a chase of diving and darting around a maze of alleyways and rooftops. Jason drops on one of them and turns to face his pursuer, who draws short away from him.

“What, can’t work it out?” He triggers the seals on his helmet as he lifts it off. Without the lenses he can see, even in the rain, the second Bruce recognises him. “You really didn’t care enough to remember my name or something?”

“Jason,” Bruce’s tone gives off nothing and everything. “W-Why are you doing this? How are you –.”

“I’m doing this because you refuse to do what needs to be done.” Jason snarls, venom laced in every word. “You want to rule them by fear, but you never go any further with the ones who aren’t afraid.”

“Jason, I don’t under-.”

“I died for your cause, and in less than a year you shove some other kid in the uniform so he can die too!” He is raving now. He also doesn’t care. “You let my murderer run wild and slaughter thousands and when someone finally steps up to do what needed to be done, you cut her out?”

“I had to –.”

“Had to what? Isolate her? Run her out of the only family she’s ever known? She was my sister, my whole fucking world; who believed in you and you left her like she means nothing to you! Cass is gone now, and that is your fault!”

“If you would –.”

“Do you even remember? That the only thing I ever made you swear to me, that you vowed on your life, was that you’d never let her down?” For once this night, his voice isn’t angry or vicious. It is a void, detached from any feeling. “Guess I should have known better.”

He knows, almost intrinsically despite the years, that if there is one thing that Jason has said tonight, those are the words that pierce Batman’s defences. It’s why he lets Bruce rush forward like he wants to. Allows the chase to continue. When he jumps, Jason lands in an apartment that carries the same bloodstains that leaked down his mother’s arms a lifetime ago.

Black Bat arrives in Gotham, and superficially, it is empty. She almost hails Barbara when bright flashes shine in her peripheral vision. Lo and behold, Deathstroke and an unknown are locked in a duel below her.

Cassandra drops from above, and at that moment, she kicks Deathstroke into a wall hard enough to knock him unconscious. His opponent, she notices, stops immediately.

Before her is a girl, hair silver under the moonlight, garbed in orange and black.

Then the Batmobile rounds the corner, a small figure rising from the hatch.

"Black Bat," Robin says, "You have not responded to Oracle, she was-."

Damian's eyes bug out once he notices the girl beside Cassandra. She fully expects him to snarl or draw his ridiculously long katana. Instead, uncharacteristically rushes forward and embraces the girl tightly instead.

"Wilson. A-are you finally assisting us in Gotham?" Damian says, even with his head buried in a shoulder. "Drake may be intelligent, but his incompetence with the sword is impossible to rectify."

"Missed you too, D-man," The girl chuckles and ruffles the boy's hair. "I would help, but what’s up with tall, slim and broody over there?"

Cassandra crosses her arms expectantly at Robin, who obviously only just remembered her presence when he unlatches himself immediately. His cheeks may be red, but Damian still raises his chin proudly.

"I found her, Rose," His body language and eyes seem to sing. "I found his ukht."

The girl spins sharply, wolfish eyes drawn wide. “You’re her,” Rose breathes, awe rippling off her body. “You’re Cass.”

She would have flinched, but the body language is so familiar. Cass tilts her head.

“Yes.”

Rose grabs her arm so hastily that she almost rips it back in shock. But something is so honest about her body language that Cass relents, letting the girl lead her where she is needed.

He kneels, tracing the dark stains. Behind him, Batman pauses. Not even he would dare to disturb the sanctity of this room.

“Jaylad, please -.”

“Don’t call me that. That isn’t who I am,” Jason rounds on Bruce. He gestures to the shattered window, the ripped upholstery, and the bloodstained floor. “This is what I grew up being, what I never wanted anyone else to.”

He taps the insignia on Bruce’s chest with his pistol.

“That, right here, was your promise to people like me. People that needed help and protection,” He spits. “And you couldn’t even do it for the ones closest to you.”

"I just want to-."

"Want to what? Parade your antiquated sense of morality to hide, while the rest of the world suffers for what you refuse to do? Or cast out others from taking it in their own hands?"

Tears are building in his eyes, but he wipes them away while Batman stands ramrod straight.

"I don't think you understand. That you've never understood," The man begins, and Jason gapes because what the hell does that mean? "If I let myself cross that line, even for Joker, I won't ever come back."

"You know what I think about that, Bruce?" Jason breathes deeply, feeling the whispers of the Pit roaring with the heavy rain in his ears. "I think that's a huge self-aggrandizing load of bullshit."

He charges forward, knocking Batman's legs from under him and ramming his face into the ground. Batman is down to his knees before either can even blink.

"And I'm so fucking tired of hearing it."

Jason levels the barrel at Bruce’s forehead, torbernite lining the edges of his vision, engulfing him in an absence.

“What’s the use of you learning to do right when it’s troublesome to do right?”

Then, her voice shatters the tension in the air, gripping his heart and silencing the susurrations of the rain that suffocated his ears.

“When it ain’t no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same.”

“Cass?” The boy in the alleyway says. A gun. An apple in his hand. The girl falters in the doorway, her fist tongue clenches, and she nods.

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chicgeekgirl89 · 4 years

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Mercy is Out of Your Reach: Chap. 7

Fandom: SEAL Team

Characters: Sonny Quinn, Clay Spenser, Lisa Davis

Read Chapters 1-6 Here

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Sonny was released unceremoniously from the hospital two days later. Jason picked him up. His boss had spared him a lecture while he was still bound to his bed, but now Jason was unleashing. “Does it really matter?” Sonny finally broke in after about twenty minutes of ceaseless ranting. “Two of us would have been taken anyway, who cares if it was me?”

“I care!” Jason said, slamming his hand against the steering wheel. “If you had been in top shape you and Clay might have been able to get out of there on your own!”

Sonny rolled his eyes. “That place was a fortress Jase, you saw it. We weren’t getting out without help.”

Jason threw the truck into park and turned to glare at him. “This isn’t up for discussion. You’re an idiot and if you ever do it again you’re off the team. Got it?”

“Okay, all right.” Sonny held up his hands in surrender. “Next time I feel a sniffle coming on, I will shirk all my duties as a soldier fighting for the free world and stay at home in bed. I’m sure Al Qaeda and the Taliban and Hezbollah will be understanding.”

“Get out of the truck,” Jason growled, clearly annoyed with Sonny’s carefree attitude.

“What if I have a hangnail?” Sonny asked with a grin as he hopped out. “What’s that, like three days sick leave?”

“Sonny—“

“I’m just trying to make sure I understand the rules. How about a stubbed toe? What’s that worth?”

Jason pointed a threatening finger at him through the truck window. “Trent is coming by later. You’d better be here and you’d better be fine, or I’ll come back and kill you myself.”

“Yes sir!” Sonny sent him a mock salute as the truck pulled away from the curb.

He’d been with Jason long enough to know he wasn’t really mad. If he’d been really mad there would have been a lot more yelling and he would have made Sonny walk home. Anger was Jason’s only way of expressing concern and Sonny took it for what it was.

He pushed open the door to his apartment and let out a breath of relief. It had only been about two weeks, but it felt like he’d been gone forever. Naima had clearly been by; there were cookies and a loaf of bread on the counter and milk, eggs, and cold cuts in the fridge. Sonny pulled out his phone and fired off a text of thanks.

He’d been home about half an hour when there was a knock on the door. Clay had arrived and he came with beer and food. “How’re the ribs?” Sonny asked as he cracked open a bottle and took a sip. God he missed beer when he was laid up in the hospital. A good reason to try and avoid more future visits.

“Sore,” Clay admitted. “Can’t work out or anything. Sucks.”

“Beats being dead.”

“True.” He took a couple bites. “So you uh, talked to Davis yet?”

Sonny blanched and set his beer back on the coffee table. He wasn’t sure how much Clay had heard from his own hospital bed. And generally they both kind of pretended like the Lisa thing hadn’t happened, for obvious reasons.

“Uh yeah,” he finally said.

Clay shot him a look. “Like really talked to her? Or just made nice and pretended like you’re not still head over heels in love with her?”

“I am not—“ He shook his head and resisted the urge to punch his brother. “It’s not like that.”

Clay rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Whatever.”

“This ain’t none of your business anyway,” Sonny grumbled, snatching up the last egg roll before Clay did.

“Well you kind of made it my business when you nearly died in my arms and your last wish was that I tell Lisa you still loved her. So did you do it or not?”

“What would even be the point of that? Long as we’re both with Bravo, nothing can happen.” He shook his head. “It’ll just screw things up again.”

“Listen, I know there are rules, you know there are rules. That doesn’t stop you from wanting what you want. And lying about it hasn’t done either of you any good. Might as well say what you have to say and figure the rest out after.”

“And what makes you the expert on love?” Sonny asked sourly.

“I may not be an expert, but at least I’m not a coward. Not everybody gets a second chance at this kind of thing. If I were you, I’d think about taking advantage of it.”

The words struck him exactly the way Clay intended. He’d almost died and now he had an opportunity to fix things. If he didn’t take it, he was some kind of fool. He hated when Clay was right.

There was some vindication and a lot of gloating a few days later when Sonny was cleared to go back to work before Clay. Apparently lungs got their shit together faster than bones. It was light duty only, but he’d take it.

There had been no word from Lisa. Not that he’d expected it. She’d sort of thrown the ball at his face with that kiss and it was up to him to do something with it.

That proved to be harder than he’d anticipated. Either Lisa was avoiding him or he had the worst timing in the world. She barely showed her face around the cages and anytime he saw her in the hallway she’d magically vanish with Mandy or Blackburn behind closed doors. He couldn’t get a minute alone with her so after a week, and several pointed text messages from Clay, he decided to catch her somewhere she couldn’t escape.

“Sonny, hey.” Lisa looked surprised and a little uncomfortable when she opened her door.

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.” She opened the door wide, letting him step in past her. “You look better.”

“Can’t keep a dog like me down for long,” Sonny said, wincing internally at how stupid it sounded. He was nervous. Shit. “Haven’t seen you around much lately.”

“Well when two of your team members go off and get abducted it means a lot of paperwork for the rest of us,” she said, throwing him a pointed look.

“Sorry about that.”

Silence stretched between them. God this was so much more awkward than he’d thought it would be, both of them just standing there in her living room. Maybe he should have thought this through a little more before driving over. “So,” he finally said.

Lisa tucked her hands into her back pockets and shrugged. “So?”

Sonny cleared his throat. “Back in the hospital—“

She blushed and cut him off. “Yeah I’m really sorry about that. It was completely inappropriate. I just got…caught up in the moment.”

His heart sank a little. “So you didn’t mean all that stuff you said about worrying and being afraid I was going to die…”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course I meant it. I care about you Sonny. As a friend,” she added. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Only as a friend huh?” He took a step closer to her. “You kiss all your friends like that?”

She swallowed hard. “I mean, we have a history. I guess some of those feelings die hard. It won’t happen again.”

She was giving him an out. He could take it and let things stay the awkward, painful way they had been. Or…

Heart pounding in his chest, he took another step toward her and cradled her face in his hands.

“Sonny what are you doing?” Lisa asked, eyes wide.

“Something inappropriate,” he breathed.

Before she could say anything more he pressed his lips to hers. When she’d kissed him in the hospital he’d barely had time to process it, let alone enjoy it. This time he felt the way she melted into him, arms going around his neck as she rose up onto her tiptoes, the feel of her against him so familiar and right.

By the time he pulled away they were both breathing raggedly. He touched his forehead to hers. “When I was lying there on that filthy fucking floor, all I could think about was how I’d pushed you away. And how it was the worst mistake of my life. I should have fought for you, Lis. All those months I spent being mad, it wasn’t worth it. It didn’t fix anything or make me feel any better, much as I pretended it did.”

She closed her eyes, tears clinging to her lashes. “Sonny I—“

“Shh…just listen,” he said softly. “I need to get this out. What we had, that was a once in a lifetime kind of thing. I shouldn’t have let you go.” He swallowed and stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I’m done lying to myself and I’m done lying to you. I still love you Lisa. I think…I think maybe I always will. And if you just want to be friends, that’s fine by me. I’m not expecting anything of you here or giving you an ultimatum I just, I wanted you to know how I feel.” He looked directly into her eyes. “I want you back in my life whatever way you want to be.”

The beat of silence that followed felt like an eternity. He couldn’t read her face at all and he felt uncertainty twist in his stomach. This had all seemed like the right move but…“Do you want me to leave?” he asked. “If I’m making you uncomfortable, or you don’t want—I can—“

Her lips founds his again, insistent and wanting, pulling the air from his lungs. God he hoped this meant what he thought it did.

“I love you too,” she whispered when she finally pulled away.

“God damn it Davis,” he said, relief crashing over him. “You can’t do that to a man, just staring at me like that when I’ve poured my whole heart out. I thought you were about to kick me to the curb!”

“You told me to be quiet! I didn’t know if you were finished with your grand speech or not!”

“I mean I can go on if there’s more you need to hear—“

“Sonny? Shut up.”

They were kissing again and it was like no time had passed at all. His body remembered hers, anticipating what she would do before it happened. He backed her against the wall as she tugged his shirt free of his pants.

When he moved his lips to her neck she let out a breathy moan, making him grin as he pressed kisses into her skin. Her hands slipped under his shirt, sending goosebumps up and down his spine and he pulled back only long enough to rip it off over his head and throw it to the floor before reaching for the button on her jeans.

“Well, that was even better than I remembered,” Sonny said a little later, wrapping his arms around her, holding her securely against his chest as he pulled a blanket down over both of them. They’d only made it as far as the couch. Typical.

“It was always something we excelled at,” she said. She shifted, resting her chin on her hands so she could look at him.

“So if that kiss in the hospital was inappropriate, what do you call this?” he asked with a smirk.

She sighed. “Probably inevitable.”

“Probably. You uh, you still feeling good about this?”

“I mean, I can’t say I’m not a little worried about what the future is going to look like…”

“Then don’t think about it,” he said. “Not right now.”

She was quiet for a moment, contemplating his words before seeming to take them to heart, moving up so she could kiss him. “I missed you Sonny. I’m glad you’re home.”

Home. Not just on American soil or back at his place. Home with her. “Yeah. Me too.”

#SEAL Team #Sonny Quinn #Lisa Davis #Clay Spenser #Mercy is Out of Your Reach #Chapter 7 #Whump #Feelings #Savis

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fierce-little-miana · 5 years

Text

Some translated extracts from “Medea” by Nancy Peña and Blandine le Callet

For @irleughlivelyatalanteangodfan

Médée is a French comic book series following Medea’s story from her childhood in Colchis to her very probable death since an old (apparently believing she is at the end of her life) Medea is the narrator.

Here are the cover or the first three volumes:

- 1) The shadow of Hecate: deals with Medea’s childhood in Colchis and closes on her watching the Argonauts’ boat approaching her kingdom’s shores.

- 2) The knife in the wound: concentrates entirely on the Jason and Medea’s encounter, the theft of the Golden Fleece, and their escape from Colchis. The last scene of this volume is Apsyrtus’ murder/death.

- 3) The Barbaric bride: deals with Medea and Jason’s ‘proper’ wedding and the events of Iolcus. The volume closes on Medea and Jason running away from their failed coup, Medea discovering she is pregnant, and them deciding to go to Corinth.

(sorry in advance for the quality of the pictures - nevertheless clic on the pictures for better quality)

This is the genealogy the authors chose for Medea:

Volume 1:

This is literally the second page of the comic and this how a beaten-down old Medea is presented

1 - Chloé (Medea’s servant - apparently dying): A bit more water Mistress please.

2 - Medea: No, it would serve no purpose.

3 - Chloé: I am afraid.

4 - Medea: It will be over soon.

5 - Chloé: Mistress please stay with me a bit more.

6 - Medea: You know this isn’t possible. I still have a long road to travel.

7 - Chloé: Goodbye Mistress.

8 - Medea: Goodbye Chloé

9 - Medea* thinking: ... and forgive me to not have the strength to bury you.

In the following pages Medea is playing with her nephews (who are her ages) and brother. Then she is embroidering with her mother and sister while her brother is getting cuddles from their mother. As a bit of context: Medea’s father, Aeëtes, is a tyran who resents his son-in-law and grandsons. Medea doesn’t consciously knows it but I really read it as her unconsciously knowing it. Apsyrtus has a mental disability and also suffers from epilepsy.

(Here I only translated the dialogues that really show Medea’s personality)

1 - Medea: We are giants. We are climbing the tree to reach the gods and kick their asses!

2 - Phrixus, her brother-in-law: Well this is a way of speaking that doesn't suit a princess. I am not sure your father would like it.

3 - Medea: In any case we are gods too.

4 - Phrixus* commenting on Medea’s fall: Ah ah! Gods too must be careful.

5 - Phrixus to his sons: Boys, would you like some archery lesson. It’s been a long time since you last practiced.

6 - Medea’s nephew: Yeah!

7 - Medea: And me, can I come?

8 - Medea’s nephew: You, you are a girl. Archery is not for girls.

9 - Medea: And why couldn’t I use a bow?

10 - Phrixus: Argos is right Medea. Archery is not for girls.

11 - Phrixus to Apsyrtus who grabbed his sleeves: No, not you Apsyrtus. You might hurt yourself... or someone else.

(the non-translated bubbles on the second pages are Medea’s sister, Chalciope, giving her embroidery advise and king Aeëtes criticizing his wife for cuddling their sons who should be acting and treated like the other boys.)

12 - Aeëtes to Chalciope: Where are your sons?

13 - Chalciope: With their father...

14 - Medea: They went to practice archery. And they didn’t want to bring me with them.

15 - Aeëtes: This is normal daughter.

16 - Medea: They didn’t want to bring Apsyrtus either.

The horror on the faces of Chalciope and Queen Idyia tells us that Aeëtes hearing of the exclusion of Apsyrtus by Phrixus will be of consequences. Medea only mentioned her brother’s exclusion to her father after her own failed to create any outrage in him.

At this point in the story Medea is the only person who isn’t terrified of Aeëtes mainly because she is his favorite child that he calls “his ray of sunshine”.

In the following scene a teenage Medea invited her nephew Argos (who has never been there) to come with her to her father library. They discovered a map.

1 - Argos: “This map has been drawn as precisely as possible by Sesostris, King of Egypt, great traveler and conqueror of the world, founder of the kingdom of Colchis, builder of the city of Aea.” What is this? I thought it was your father who founded Aea?

2 - Medea: I thought that too.

3 - Argos: If you want my opinion the King cultivates a lot of legends about his person.

4 - Medea: If you want my opinion you will keep that for yourself.

By asking her nephew to keep quiet about this document that proves that her father is lying Medea is of course trying to protect him from her father’s tyranny that she is starting to see, but also trying to protect her father’s reign and her own divine ancestry.

I am not putting any extract from volume two, for length reason, but it is very intense. We have Medea doing some badass magic/chemist stuff to get the fleece. We also have her going against her father while in the first volume she let him murder her brother-in-law and stand by watching even if her sister had made her swear to help Phrixus. This is supported by her mother in a hidden-manner who doesn’t want that Medea to have her life ruin like her brother and sister did. There is of course Jason and Medea’s meeting and alliance. Medea is taking a definitively non-Greek non-womanly approach to it and Jason is liking it and respecting it. And of course Apsyrtus’ murder which is absolutely horrible to read.

Volume 3:

Here Jason, Orpheus and another Argonaut are discussing what to do with Medea just after their escape from Colchis

1 - Orpheus: The Colchians are still on our tracks. There are hundred of them heavily armed. Do you realize what would happen if they caught us?

2 - Orpheus: We should give them the girl.

3 - Other Argonaut: Yes, we should leave her here, running away discreetly and unseen, while she is asleep.

4 - Jason: Abandoning Medea wouldn’t change anything... What the Colchians want back his the Golden Fleece.

5 - Orpheus: You don't know that. Maybe it would appease them if we give them back their princess... What do we have to lose from this?

6 - Jason: I made a promise.

7 - Other Argonaut: She made you promise, it is very different! Jason let’s leave this girl here and go back to Greece. She is a barbarian, we owe her nothing.

8 - Jason: She helped us.

9 - Orpheus: Maybe but she now puts us in danger. Most of the men agree on this: we must hand her over.

10 - Jason: This is out of question.

11 - Orpheus: What is the issue with this girl? If she was beautiful at least I would understand, but she is a real savage!

12 - Other Argonaut: It is as if she has bewitched you.

13 - Jason: Enough! Medea will stay with us. This discussion is over. Now go to sleep, I will keep the watch alone.

I think it is interesting to show Jason as something else than a coward and an opportunist. This volume also doesn’t forget that he is a pupil of Chiron and that he is a healer. Medea is really interested in learning from him too.

I found this scene on internet without the text so you will have to believe me on the translations. But, since it is one of my favorite pages, I am happy it is in good quality. Here Medea feels trapped living the life of a Greek woman in Iolcus an start talking to her consciousness which takes the shape of her snake bracelet. For extra creepy factor, she is lying next to an asleep Jason here:

1 - Snake: Good news? It is not likely to happen! Pelias will always find a reason to not hand over power to Jason.

2 - Medea: He was supposed to officially proclame him king two days ago, but someone found a crow on a statue in the throne room and this bad omen prevented the assembly to be in session.

3 - Snake: Before that it was a black dog which spilled the content of a stall in the market! Then it will be some bees deciding to live on the roof of a temple. Pelias is laughing at you.

4 - Medea: He will never give his power away. By pretending to not understand and by staying passive Jason is ridiculing himself.

5 - Snake: That’s true!

6 - Medea: Every time I try discussing this with him, he rebuffs me by saying that I do no understand anything about politic and that we must be patient.

7 - Snake: He is wrong.

8 - Medea: I can’t stand it anymore. I feel like I am going mad.

9 - Snake: No, you just feel a bit lonely.

10 - Snake: But don’t worry.

11 - Snake: I am going to stay with you to keep you company.

I really like how Medea’s own darkness is visually slowly strangulating her and taking over her. And how her loneliness and confinement makes her more ruthless, but slowly so very slowly.

Finally this is the final page of the third volume. Medea remembers how Jason made her promise to throw away all her poisons and potions to avoid a new epic failure like in Iolcus and also because she is pregnant and that it is time for her to accept to live like a ‘proper’ Greek wife. Medea promises and throw most of her stuff in the sea very theatrically. We cut back to old Medea narrating:

1 - Medea: Yes I was pregnant, the only reason why I wielded to his demands...

2 - Medea: ... Or rather made him believed I did.

3 - Medea: The only thing I sacrificed for him this night was the heavy crown I put in the casket he saw me throw in the sea.

4 - Medea: My drugs stayed carefully hidden in my luggages, ready to be used again, if the need was to arise.

So yeah I really like the take of these comic books on Medea’s story and Medea’s personality, her family and Jason. If you read French I really advise you to pick it up, or if you like looking at pretty pictures it works too.

The next and final volume is coming out in 8 days and it looks fantastic!

Volume 4: Flesh and Blood

#medea #médée #myth #mythology #women in myth

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littlewolf651 · 5 years

Text

A Fae’s Cries

Based on a TC Fae AU that was created in @teamdoesminecraft ‘s TC Discord server. Seriously, check out that server, it’s brilliant.

Not my AU idea. To be honest I can’t remember who even came up with the idea anymore. A lot of people contributed to it.

Sorry for the tag Angie, only one I’ll give.

---

The forest was awake with a low moaning and wailing noise, a song that hung heavy with pain and misery. It was not how Ty wanted to experience his morning walk. The irritating noise was scaring off humans. He may not care for humans bothering him, but he was hungry dammit! He continued to walk and tried to drown out the noise before a familiar tiny voice yelled in his ear. “Ty!”

Ty gave the barest flicker of a jump at the loud noise and turned to the small blue pixie in front of him “This better be good, or I’m shoving your tiny ass back in the lantern.” He warned Jason, as per usual, barely bat an eyelid at that “Ty we need your help!” “We? Who’s we?” Ty’s question was quickly answered when he felt an arm wrap around him and pull him down a little. Adam grinned up at Ty with bright gold eyes “Eyy big guy! How’s the weather up there?” Ty should’ve guessed the gancanagh would bother him, the idiot didn’t have anything better to do on most days when he wasn’t sleeping with complete morons. “Ugh, why do you want to bother me now? I’ve told you a hundred times I’m not going to help you seduce anyone by having you ‘save them’ from me. You bring anyone near me, and I will eat them.” He warned. “It’s not that! And you will come around in the idea, mark my words. Surely you’ve heard all the crying!” Adam retorted Ty pushed the smaller fae off him and made him drop back to the ground “Let me guess, that was your doing?” Jason flew in his face “No! Mitch and Jerome found where it’s coming from. We don’t know what it is though.” “Have you checked?” “Well, Uh, we were hoping you would.” “And why would I do that? Can’t Mitch and Jerome do that? They’re already there.” “Yeah, but if it’s something bad then your face could scare it off!” Adam added before he cried out as Ty kicked his shin harshly. “You’re not going to leave me alone until I do this huh?” Ty grumbled, irritation clear in his voice. “Nope!” Both faes grinned, popping the p and making Ty wonder if he could shove both of them in his lantern. “Fine. Where is this stupid noise coming from?” Adam and Jason smiled happily at his agreement, and they both lead the way through the forest to the source of the noise. — The first thing Ty saw was Mitch and Jerome watching from behind trees, staring at a large hollow log in the centre of the trees. Clearly, the log was amplifying the sound of whatever was crying inside. It was undoubtedly louder now than before. Mitch had tried to lower his head to get a view inside the log, but it only made the noise louder, so the dullahan was quick to retrieve his head and hide again. Cowards. “Ty! You came!” Jerome gave a toothy grin at the sight of the grindylow arriving with Adam and Jason. “Whatever. You’ll keep bugging me if I don’t.” Ty grumbled and set his lantern down by the log. He noticed from the corner of his eyes that the other fae were all hidden behind the trees, watching. If this were a prank, Ty would make sure they all regretted it. He looked in the log and saw... a kid? Yeah. Inside the log was a small boy. He couldn’t have been older than ten, sitting curling up in the log crying. He had dishevelled brown hair that hung around his neck and scratches all over his pale skin, no doubt from running in the forest or from being attacked by some forest creature. He had brown eyes that were red from the endless stream of tears and cheeks red from the cold. He was barefoot and wearing an oversized nightshirt. He clung tightly to a worn-out teddy bear like it was his only protection from the big bad world. Ty’s first thought was this must be some human boy that got lost in the woods from his family, or perhaps he was running away. He even considered that maybe this kid had been taken from his home, replaced by a changeling and now was left here to die or be eaten by someone like him. Then the boy noticed him. Fuck, what was Ty supposed to do? Try to seem friendly? Maybe make him stop crying? He gave a small fanged smile to the kid “Uh, Hey kid... uh, you wanna come-“ He was barely through his sentence when the kid screamed. This wasn’t just any scream, Ty had heard plenty of screams in his immortal life. But this scream. It pierced his ears like a hot knife in butter, it was like something had jammed a hot spike into his ears and brain. Ty actually had to recoil out with a howl of pain, covering his ears in an attempt to block out the sound. The rest of the fae were no better, on their knees and covering their ears with cries of pain. It was so bad Jason even flew into a tree accidentally and had to be caught by Adam when he fell. When the kid stopped screaming, he went back to whimpering. The other fae were quiet as they tried to compose themselves and got their bearings before Mitch voices most of their thoughts “What in the ever-living fuck was that?!” Ty stood and cleaned his robes of dirt “It’s a fucking banshee you idiots.” He snapped “No human can scream like that and certainly no other fae can. He’s just a kid, probably doesn’t even know what he is.” Jerome tilted his head “I mean, if he’s only a kid, then we should be able to calm him down right?” Before the other’s could protest, the faoladh when to the log broke part of the log open with his paws to fit his head in and stuck his head in to give a toothy grin and pant similar to a dog would. The reaction was instantaneous. The kid screamed even louder than before and tried to frantically crawl out of the log to get away from the large wolf. Everyone covered their ears again as Ty shouted “Dammit Jerome! Get the fuck away from him!” Mitch and Adam helped to pull Jerome away from the terrified banshee. The kid stopped screaming once he couldn’t see Jerome and crawled out of the log and bolted to Ty. He crawled under the others large purple cloak and clung to his leg, shaking like a leaf. Ty was taken aback by that and looked down at the small kid “Uh...” Jason snickered softly “I think he likes you.” “He screamed in my face!” “Yeah, but you’re not Jerome.” Ty couldn’t argue with that, the kid clearly was more scared of Jerome than of him. “Pick him up already idiot,” Adam told him. Ty glared at Adam at that, he hated being told what to do but nonetheless, reached down and picked the small kid up. The boy sniffled and sneezed before he clung to Ty’s robes tightly, his breathing starting to finally calm down now. Ty tensely reached a hand and pat his back to help the boy calm down “Uh... what’s your name kid?” “S-Se... Seto.” The boy finally managed to sniffle out. “He speaks!” Adam smiled. Jason kicked Adam’s ear, which felt to Adam more like someone had flicked his ear. The pixie flew up and placed a hand on Seto’s head, the small banshee looking up at Jason with a childlike fascination. He almost touched the pixie before Jason moved to stand on Seto’s hand “He’s burning up. He needs rest and a place to stay.” Ty huffed “Fine. Who’s gonna take him?” Ty realised all eyes were on him “Oh no. No no no no! I can’t look after a kid!” “Dude, you’re the only one he actually likes right now, Jason’s home is too small, and you want him to stay with me?” Adam demanded Ty opened his mouth to argue, but upon finding he didn't know what to argue, he growled in annoyance “Ugh, Fine. But only for a little bit.” He grumbled. At that, Ty grabbed his lantern and began the walk back to him home, for once, allowing the others to follow him back in case the kid did anything else. Thankfully all Seto did was fall asleep in Ty’s arms, still clinging to his teddy bear and Ty’s robes. It was kinda cute. God Ty hoped this didn’t ruin his reputation as the scariest fae in the forest.

#team crafted #writings #SkydoesMinecraft #jeromeasf #minecraftuniverse #deadlox #bajancanadian #setosorcerer #tw swearing #fae au

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batarella · 4 years

Text

I Don’t Hate You - Part 18 (Jason Todd x Reader)

MOTHER FUCKERS THE FLUFF IS BACK I REPEAT THE FLUFF IS BACK AND THIS IS THE MOST I WROTE IN A SINGLE DAY I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THIS

ALSO YOURE LOOKING AT THE BITCH YOU ACTUALLY WROTE A FUCKING SONG FOR THE LOVE OF THIS ASSHOLE HAHAHAHAHAHA I ACTUALLY WROTE Y/N’S ORIGINAL SONG HOW BOUT THAT

WORDS: 9079 FUCKING WORDS WARNINGS: FLUFFFFFFFFFF (and a lil angst) ALSO SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE ORPHAN

Masterlist

I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

-----

It was a dirty, dangerous promise and he never should’ve given in at the last minute.

The rational part of him left over from his existing sanity endlessly scolded him for the reckless act of leaving before he’d knowingly change his mind of promising you crucial, needless to say dangerous three days. Just a few months ago, he rose from the dead, defied the odds, cold-bloodedly murdered dozens of people a single night, and the one moment he let his guard down, he let himself look into your eyes and give in. He gave in. Like the idiotic teenage boy you thought he still was. He definitely wasn’t that anymore, and he knew for an obvious, undeniable fact that there was no turning around who he was, or what he was now.

And all those months of hiding in the shadows, barely keeping up his stealth just so you wouldn’t suspect anything out of him, it had all gone for nothing because of Grayson’s blabber mouth he wanted to put a bullet in right now. He did that for a purpose. He never wanted you to see him the way he was right now. He knew what he was doing was absolutely necessary, do what Batman was too much of a coward to do and end the lives that would’ve taken a hundred more of the innocents’.

But it didn’t mean he thought it was right. He hated morals and patronized Bruce so much for that, when he was Robin and still lived under his roof. But each time he shed blood, there was no denying that he wished there would have been other alternatives to have put them down for good. Which there wasn’t. This was his ultimate, necessary resort. He’d do that if he had to, never mind people looking down on him or seeing him in a bad light. At least, he knew, that he saved so many with his actions. That alone was enough to drive him to do what he does.

He wouldn’t hide it, but when it came to you, Y/N, you’d be ashamed of what he’d become. When you loved, you loved hard. He had never felt so secure with anyone else. You loved him greatly, and you made him feel like you were terrified of losing him, maybe even more than he was terrified of losing you, which was already great in itself. And he reveled in that love, made sure he never took advantage of it and gave you the exact same amount of love back. Not because he had to, but because he actually did love you that much. And he wanted you to feel that.

But that was when you were kids… As great as that love was, he couldn’t possible rekindle anything for now. You were of no part of his vigilante life when he met you, and he made sure it stayed that way. That was why he never came to tell you. You were so precious to him, the best taste of a life that was normal, content, and happy beyond what he could describe. He didn’t want you to be exposed to any of that. It was basically why he left you the moment you knew about him.

Now, he was ten times worse. He willingly killed. He made deals with actual human demons. He’s a part of the most dangerous debacles the whole world has ever seen. With the League, the al Ghul’s, the fact that he was a living, breathing zombie. You just couldn’t be a part of that anymore. No matter how much his life turned to the worst, he couldn’t have this for you. He couldn’t possibly be worth all the pain and trouble that came with merely being by his side. Not a chance. He wouldn’t make himself worth it.

If he was, he’d put you in the worst place possible. And you didn’t deserve that.

He fell in love with how human, genuine, and real you were. All those times he had with you, dates and adventures and lying in bed laughing all night, he couldn’t possibly destroy that. You deserved that kind of happiness and normality that strayed you away from the danger that he was.

But if it meant spending the next three days with you, going through all this just to give you the kind of closure you never had the first time he left, it was the least he could do. And after that, if you truly kept to your promise, you’d move on from him and live the life you always deserved. And you had to. He’ll make sure of that. He’ll make sure that the next three days, you’ll either be so repulsed of the sight of him, or give you a slow, much needed exit from his life that was unnecessarily dramatic but still all the more necessary. He’ll give you that. You deserved that. No matter how much he didn’t.

He’ll keep his cool, maintain enough distance not to spark anything he wouldn’t want to start that would only make matters worse. He’ll make sure you’d instead be exhausted of your apparent attachment to him, and by the end of this, you’ll willingly leave. Even though this was extremely idiotic in his part and defied practically everything he told himself not to fall into for the last few months since he had enough sanity in him to have any logical thought, he’ll have to orchestrate this whole thing so it ends as smoothly as it should.

And when this is all over, when you finally get to live your life, he promised himself that he’ll never-ever-see you again.

He won't follow you back home from your university, to your part time job, to the restaurants you go with your friends or even an alley you were too dangerous to go in. He scared all the thugs enough not to go back. So it was safe. Hopefully.

No matter how much it stung, he’ll stay away from you. For good.

Jason, wearing a black hoodie and some jeans despite the warm summer weather, walked down the sidewalk going down to your street. He was nervous, and all the promises he kept for himself, he made sure to remember them before he left this morning.

When he reached the curb, he stopped before the pedestrian lane and waited for the light to turn green.

You were there, right outside your apartment standing by the steps. Right across from him. You wore a dark red sleeveless top and a skirt that went down to your thighs. Your eyes were on your phone, momentarily looking up. No wind blew against your hair, but it flowed to your little movement, falling from behind your shoulder down to your chest.

He didn’t see it last night, especially with it being so dark.

But you grew up so beautifully mellowed, exactly how he would’ve envisioned you to look now from three years ago, except he didn’t realize he’d be in this place now. And with it being everything he expected, it meant that you, despite the futile halting of his mesmerized thoughts, were heart-stoppingly beautiful in every way he could have imagined.

He watched you, from the other side of the street, making sure his sweating palms were out of sight. The car noises and crowd talking had been long blurred out and silenced. His eyes, they were poignant and unmoving, forehead creased up like he was worried when there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. People around him started to cross the lane, and he went along with them. He never dared to look away from you, not even for a second. You looked up, tapping your phone onto your palm.

When you caught his eyes, you smiled.

He knew he shouldn’t.

But your smile, small, yet everything he thought he’d never get to see ever again, it unwillingly forced him to smile back. Jason reached the sidewalk, went over to you, and you kept your pretty little smile as you waited for him.

“Hi.”

He breathed in, forgetting just about everything he thought about at that quick minute he stood in a trance and cleared his throat. “Let’s go.”

“You have anything planned?” You placed your hands in front of you.

“Not exactly. You?”

“I do… if you’d let me.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll go wherever.”

“Okay,” you smiled. “I drive.”

“I drive.”

“It’s my car.”

“I don’t know where you’ll take me.”

“You said we can go wherever we want.”

“Just tell me where you wanna go, and I’ll take us there.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes. “Fine, jackass.”

You took him to your car that you had parked just outside your apartment. It was a black sedan, probably from your dad. “Nice ride.”

“Thanks. It’s my dad’s old car.”

You both got in, with him at the driver’s seat. “You and your dad doing good?”

“He wanted me off his life now that he has a new wife and everything. I demanded an apartment, a car, and money for my tuition, or else I wouldn’t stop sneaking into his house and destroy his stuff.”

“Jesus. How the fuck are you still not arrested?”

You made a satisfied, proud little sound when you shrugged. Jason exhaled with a bit of a laugh and started the ignition. “Where are we off to?”

“You know that outdoor Italian place by the plaza?”

“Italian?”

“My treat.”

“Are you serious?”

He should have known you’d turn this into a date. This was everything he hoped wouldn’t happen.

“I have something to do there. Just drive.”

“Fine. Jeez.”

He drove off into the streets, not long before he reached the plaza and parked by one of the empty spots near the open grassy field. You got off the car, walked by his side and you reached Giuseppe’s. It was a quaint little place, just by a giant open field where people usually took their dogs to. The inside was quite full, red and black plaid covering most of the décor. The outside, on the other hand, looked beautiful. The metal seats and the small circular tables that littered the concrete ground built on top of the grass, where trees were around enough to give enough shade from the sun. and there were lines tied from one end of the restaurant all the way to the roof that had little fairy lights on them that would have been gorgeous at night.

He wasn’t comfortable in the slightest. He barely goes out during the day. And he hated being around so many people. In fact, this was probably the first time he eats out of the house that wasn’t the cheap diner across the street. He hated every bit of it.

But anything for you, he guessed.

“For two,” you told the host. And they led you to an empty table in the middle where a big yellow umbrella was standing in the middle. You took your seats, and Jason gave you a dirty, disapproving look.

“This wasn’t supposed to be a date.”

You scoffed. “Sure. Call it that.”

“I didn’t call it a date-“

“Yeah, you totally did. What’s wrong with two friends eating lunch together?”

“At a pricey Italian place?”

“It’s not that expensive here. And take that hoodie off. It’s ninety degrees out.”

He leaned back against his chair, collecting his breath, then pulled down his hoodie.

“That wasn’t so bad, now was it?”

“Shut up.”

Friends. He had to remember that. You called him your friend. He should be happy. It wouldn’t be as hard when you say goodbye to him after 72 hours if you were just his friend.

The waiter came in, and you both gave your orders. You leaned in, smiling, and he tried not to smile back, but the smirk on your face just made him want to chuckle.

“Alright, what is it you wanted to do here?”

From your medium sized purse you had slung over your shoulder, you pulled out a camera, a large black one, and your phone. You scrolled to one of the screenshots you had and handed it to him.

“For our finals, we’re told to write an original song, record it by ourselves, then we make a music video out of it.”

“That sounds…” he scratched the back of his head. “Impressive.”

“And I wanted to get some footage from here in the plaza.”

“You’re gonna film people without their consent?”

“Relax. I won't include their faces. Nothing to worry about.”

You imitated his voice with that last sentence and it made his skin crawl. “Whatever.”

You placed your camera back into your bag.

“You wrote a song, huh?”

“Yeah. Plenty. I’ve gotten good practice overtime.”

“Really?” he leaned over, curving up the corner of his mouth. “Let me hear them.”

“No, you dingus. It’s a really rough draft.”

“All your songs are rough drafts?”

“For now.” The waiter gave you your glasses of water. You drank from it. “I never got to record them in a studio. I had to do them on my own.”

“You have equipment and everything?”

“I have enough. The school lends us what we need.”

“And you wrote the lyrics and wrote the sheets and everything?”

“Everything.” You smiled proudly. “Shouldn’t have doubted you when you told me to choose music.”

Jason smiled at the memory, drinking from his glass. “Yeah…”

Your food eventually came. And you both opted to eat in silence. He shouldn’t be talking so much. He had to remember why he was here in the first place. He shouldn’t be remembering anything that hits too close to what he had to avoid.

He looked up, momentarily watched you eat your pasta.

In a fancy Italian place. Or the school cafeteria.

He smiled at the sight of you.

-----

“Okay.”

You held your camera up, pointed it at the restaurant when you stood a reasonable distance away on the open field. You looked up, squinted at the sun, then adjusted the lens to get the right amount of light in the shot.

“Jay, stand here.”

“What?”

“Here,” you pointed to your side. “Cover the light.”

“Why me-“

“You grew half a foot since I last saw you. You’re tall enough to block the fucking sun. Come.”

Jason made sure you heard his annoyed grunt and stood over to give you the shade you needed. “Perfect.”

“I feel used.”

“Well, were you just gonna stand there and be useless?”

“When I said I gave you three days, I didn’t mean to be your fucking assistant.”

“Then you should’ve thought of that before you agreed.”

You started recording. Jason must have thought you were filming the couples on a date, kids running about on the grass. You could have covered people’s eyes and caught the bright smiles on their faces, how their face creased up when they laughed so hard they almost toppled off their seats.

But that wasn’t what you were going for.

Instead, you caught the lone man, sitting crouched over on a table with no one sitting next to him. His face was looking down at his book, and his eyes looked almost shut closed. He didn’t once look up at the people around him, at the waiter that gave him his drink. He didn’t even order much but a single plate of pizza. You didn’t catch his whole face, but you caught his eyes, his hands on his book. His back turned to the otherwise on going scene of events around him that he couldn’t be bothered to watch. He probably wasn’t sad, but he definitely looked like it.

You stopped recording and looked back at your footage.

“He won't like that.”

“Hush. No one will recognize him. And no one’s going to find out when the only people actually getting to watch this shit are my professors and a few beta watchers.”

You placed the camera down, then looked around.

“Quick, Jay. Help me find more depressing things to film.”

“Is this another disturbing horror film you made a bunch of in high school?”

“No…”

You winked at him and he guffawed. “I can't believe I let you drag me into this.”

“Quit complaining.”

“You know what this reminds me of?”

He shouldn’t. he really shouldn’t. but he couldn’t help it.

“When you hold me hostage just to help you with your little projects in class.”

“Hey,” you countered, pointing the camera at him. “You happen to be a very good assistant.”

“I’m not your assistant.”

“I passed all my classes with your help, remember?”

Jason ran his fingers through his hair and you noticed him give it a little tug. “Fine. I’ll help you.”

“Good. Now find me another sad thing to film.”

You both started walking down the park’s open area. Kids were running around, people sat on the grass with picnic lunches being set up. People were actually smiling, and the sun shining so brightly didn’t help with the mood, either.

“There.”

Jason pointed you at a bench where a kid was crying. Alone. He didn’t look like he had a scraped knee or anything much to cry about. He was probably lost. “Thanks.”

You took your camera, aimed it at the kid, and made sure you got a shot of his head curved down, his arms covering his body with his legs trembling as they hung off the edge of the bench. You caught the sight of his mouth curving down, the tears running down his face, and you especially made sure to catch him sniffing and wiping his snot off with just his arm. “Poor kid,” Jason said.

“Aaaand, we got it.” You smiled brightly, looking back at your footage with wide eyes and a proud look on your face. You even laughed when you got the shot of his snot.

Jason frowned at you.

“Seriously?”

“What?”

“That kid’s crying.”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

“Go help him.”

“I’m not gonna-“

“Y/N.”

“I make kids cry, not make them feel better.”

Jason laughed at that and shook his head. “Go help him. You got footage from him and it’s the least you could do.”

“He’s not-“

“If you won't do it, then I will.”

You stuffed the camera in your bag and let out a long, irritated grunt. “Fine.”

He walked by your side, and you made your way to the bench. The boy didn’t look up at you, or even notice that you were standing by his side. Jason nudged your shoulder.

“Hey kid,” you said.

He looked up.

“You lost your mom?”

The boy nodded, sniffing and wiping his tears.

You cocked your hip to the side. “Next time listen to her and never keep her out of your sight. The information desk is over there, and if you want you can talk to one of the security gua-“

“Jesus…” Jason set you aside and stepped in to sit beside the little guy. He looked up at him, scared, but Jason gave him a kind smile.

“You alright there, bud?”

The boy licked his lips, rocking his legs in the air. Jason scooted nearer to him. “I like your shirt. You like Batman, huh?”

He nodded slightly, the tears in his eyes coming to a stop.

“Well, I heard he’s not that great. Between you and me, Wonder Woman’s a lot better than he is.”

“Really?”

“By a mile. Plus, she has powers. Can’t get any cooler than that.”

“I guess…”

You sat back, watched him talk to the kid until his nose got a lot less stuffy and his frown turn into a funny little grin when Jason told him a joke.

You smiled, watching Jason’s face scrunch up and his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Wanna go find your mom?”

“Yes, please.”

He stood up, and he held Jason by the wrist. You stood behind them, watching them. And when Jason took him back to the playground where he said he lost his mother, he kneeled down to the kid’s height.

“You ran a long way, bud. Be careful next time. Do you find her?”

He looked around through the dozens of other women in the area watching their children. Jason stood up, seeing from above. And when he saw a woman frantically looking around from the slides, he held the kid’s shoulder. “That her?”

“Yes! Thank you!!!”

The kid looked so happy, giving Jason a high five before he left to hug his mother. Jason watched him leave, then turned to you.

You felt your heart so warm. Jason had always been good with kids.

A killer. A murderous vigilante. He was definitely that. You could see it.

But you were right when you knew the best parts of him could never be killed off.

“That’s how you talk to a kid,” he said.

“You know I was never really good with them.”

“Damn straight,” he said, then your started walking back down the way you came. “You go to nurseries and make a whole batch of kids cry for help.”

“It’s a very fun thing to watch. Kid’s cry funny.”

“I thought you said you changed when you kept your promises.”

“Oh, I did. In most ways…”

Jason laughed with you. You haven’t heard him laugh in three years. You watched every second of it until his face eventually mellowed down.

“Where to next?”

“I’m going to need more footage. What else can you find?”

You both looked around. “Let’s go to the pond.”

You walked with him.

A large pond in the middle of the park, and with the sun slowly starting to lessen its shine, the scene looked more like what you’d envision. Thank god, it was a slow day. Otherwise the place would have been packed. The pond was dark, green, and looked a bit stuffy, but there were swans around that floated in the streams.

And on top, reaching from one end to the other, was a narrow bridge painted in a dark, wooden grey. It perched perfectly on top of the water and reflected off of the surface. With the light it was hitting, it was perfect. Jason stood close to you.

“You’re filming just the pond?”

“I’m waiting for someone to stand there and look over at the water all depressed.”

And you waited, for a good few minutes.

But it was either a bunch of kids running across, a couple hand in hand, or old women feeding the swans with bags of bread.

“Jay. Huge favor.”

“No.”

“Just hear me out.”

“Oh, I definitely know where this is going.”

“Just a few seconds.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Cover your head with your hoodie.”

“You go do it. And I’ll film you.”

“We’re not allowed to be in the shots. You have to do it.”

“I hardly believe that’s true.”

“Well, it is, and I can show you the module right now.”

“Don’t bother. I’m not doing it.”

“Please, Jay.”

“Motherfucker-“

“Please.”

Jason cursed. “That doesn’t work on me.”

“Just stand there and do nothing.”

“I don’t want my face on camera.”

“Your face won't be on it. I’m desperate. Just help me out with this.”

Jason closed his eyes, bit both his lips, and you heard him count to ten with the lowest voice.

“Come on, Jay. So we can go.”

“Fine. But this is the last one.”

You smiled so widely at him and he glared at you. “Thanks, Jay.”

“Shut up.”

He waited until no one was around, then pulled the hood over his head. He slowly walked over to the bridge, resting his elbows onto the railing and looking right down at the water.

You licked your lips and aimed your camera. You pressed record.

He looked…

Exactly as you thought he was on the inside. On the darkest parts of him where the demons could never leave. His head was craned so down, his eyes hooded and dark. His arms, although relaxed, almost seemed like he was shielding himself from the world going on. He looked scared. Alone.

You continued to record, holding your breath.

It was painful to watch.

But you couldn’t stop looking.

If you could, and if only you’d let him, you’d have pulled him into your arms, hugged him from behind and stuffed your face into his neck.

You swallowed, turning the camera off. And you looked away before your thoughts could consume you.

Jason walked over to you, took his hoodie off, then gave you that annoyed, playful glare.

-----

You pulled out your phone, balanced it on top of the car’s speakers with the audio plugged in. You made sure it was stable, then you leaned onto your seat. Jason caught you just as you finished, stepping into the car with paper bags of fries and hotdogs on a bun with drinks for your dinner. The sky had long dimmed down, but you insisted not to go home yet. You prepared more than three movies for you to watch and it was all from the comfort of your car seats.

Jason reclined his chair with you and settled in. He gave you your share of the food. “Alright. What do you got?”

“Ever watched Orphan?”

“Back when I was a kid. I can barely remember anything.”

“Well, we’re watching it now.”

“I thought you went through all the serial killer movies you could find.”

“I like to re-watch the best ones.”

Jason sipped on his soda. “Go ahead.”

You started the movie, took a bite out of your hotdog and sat back.

He wasn’t supposed to say yes to this. It was all getting way too intimate for his like. He should’ve insisted you go home and turn the movie off before you got any more ideas. Knowing how you used to be, you manipulated people to get your way. You’d be doing the same thing to him right now.

But.

Still, you insisted. And with you being so pushy and all, he didn’t have much of a choice.

Three days. That’s all there is.

This is the least he can do.

He looked at you, watched you chew on the fries like a kid with candy, then turned his attention to the movie.

It started with a mom and dad with a strained relationship going out to adopt a little nine-year old girl, who honestly looked too much like a demon spawn out of hell.

“Who the fuck adopts a girl looking like that?”

“Well…” You loudly sipped on your drink.

Jason looked at you.

“I looked like that. At one point.”

“You're kidding.”

“Yeah,” you snorted. “I never told you?”

“I know you looked like Wednesday Adams.”

“I actually dressed a lot like Esther there.” Esther. The name of the nine-year old girl. “I followed her clothes and hair. Even her makeup. I wanted to creep out the adults, you know?”

Jason laughed out loud and took a bite out of his bun. “You're insane.”

“In fact, I think she looks real good.”

“Shh. Let’s watch.”

You bit your lips when it came to the sex scene in the kitchen. And Jason tried to distract himself with the soda and drank as loudly as he could to try to drown out the moans. You looked at him, awkwardly, then laughed.

“When grown ups love each other very, very much, they want to show each other that love,” the mother told Esther. “They wanna express it.”

The nine-year-old looked at her. “I know. They fuck.”

You and Jason snorted out your drinks and laughed so hard you swore you could taste the fries coming out of your nose. You threw your head back against the seat, drinking from your straw just to stop yourselves from missing too much of the movie.

“Fucking love that part.”

“I know.”

You watched on as Esther started killing pigeons and bullied one of her classmates. You laughed, and Jason looked at you quizzically. “That’s so you.”

“When I was ten.”

“Sure.”

Jason watched you laugh, rolling your eyes at him, and he took a moment for his lingering gaze on you before he looked back.

“That kid’s gonna kill the nun.”

“Dude, don’t spoil it.”

“I thought you watched this!”

“Well, I forgot most of what happened and I want to relive the insanity that is this movie.”

“Alright, fine.” You smiled.

The nun was warning the mother of what happens with the girl around, saying how bad things always followed wherever she went. She ignored the nun, and Esther, with that creepy look on her face, struck the nun’s head with a hammer.

“I know I said hammers used to be my favorite toy-“

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Really? You weren’t about to say I could have killed a nun like that?”

“No. But you certainly did a number on a whole lot of people.”

You glowered at him. “Thanks a lot, Todd.”

“Pleasure’s all mine.”

Esther then brought her mother a bouquet of flowers from their stillborn daughter’s grave, then the mother grabs her arm, after which Esther fakes an injury and blames her for it.

“Okay-“

“Y/N, I swear if this ain’t you-“

“I know I faked an injury once-“

“Yeah, you fucking did.”

“But that girl deserved it.”

“All she did was invite me to her house for a project that we were paired up with and you got so jealous that you purposely bumped into her so her coffee would spill. Then you faked a burn on your hand.”

“I-“

“What? You gonna deny that?”

You groaned and threw a French fry at his face. “Shut up.”

It was wrong. So wrong. But fuck, he hadn’t smiled so much since he fucking died.

“Stop comparing me to this nutjob.”

The nutjob in question, Esther, waited for her mother to get out of the car. Then with the baby still inside, she released the brakes and let the car roll all the way down the hill to incoming traffic.

“Jesus Christ.”

“I have never done anything like that.” You pointed at yourself.

“If you did, I’d have called the cops on you.”

“I fucking swear on my life.”

“Okay, don’t get all defensive on me.”

“Oh, be quiet.”

You nudged Jason’s shoulder, then sipped the last of your drink.

Jason looked down, with the movie still ongoing, and saw how your elbow was just barely grazing against his own. He looked at your arm, trailing up to your face.

Then looked away before he had any more thoughts. Possibly of him pulling you to his arms and cuddle like you used to.

Ester then puts on a provocative looking dress, makeup, and acts like an adult woman trying to seduce her drunk father. It was disturbing to say the least. And you’ve seen the scariest shit in movies.

“This part made me the most uncomfortable,” Jason said.

“Are you sure? Not this part?”

Then, it was the scene you re-watched over and over. Esther storms into her room and takes off all the makeup that covered her age spots, her teeth, the scars on her wrists and neck, the bandage around her chest.

“A thirty-three-year old woman…”

“Fucking hell,” Jason breathed. “I can barely wrap my head around that.”

“Hey. Imagine if that kid you helped today was actually older than you.”

“Shut up.”

You laughed. “I’m serious. We don’t know. Any of these kids could be Esther.”

“I actually once read a news report.”

“This shit happened in real life?”

“Yeah.” Jason pulled out his phone then started searching for the article. “Here.”

A twenty-two year old woman from Ukraine with a rare case of dwarfism posed as a six-year old girl to her adopted family. It was almost exactly like the movie.

“Dammit, it’s actually real?” you asked.

“Yeah. And she goes by the name of Y/N.”

“Fuck you, you imbecile.”

“You did half the shit she did,” Jason laughed. You threw another French fry at him.

“I don’t act nor look like a little kid.”

“We don’t know. You could be forty.”

“I will stick this straw up your nose.”

“Fucking do it.”

You charged at him, laughing so hard when Jason blocked your arms, holding you by the wrists as you struggled to get off his hold. You dropped the empty cup on his lap, and you didn’t even realize the movie ended. Jason held your arms down, looked at you. “You can stop now.”

Your laugh turned into a small grin as you met his eyes. He was smiling back at you.

Then he let go of your hands, taking the cup off his pants and cleared his throat. You did the same, taking your phone from the stand and turning it off before the battery runs out.

“It’s getting late.”

He watched your face turn downcast. He was getting closer for all this to end. But you definitely weren’t looking forward to it.

“Hey. Look.”

He pointed out the window, where a girl was sitting by a tree, perfectly under the lamppost where she was lit up with just the right amount of light. She had her head down, arms crossed, and she looked alone.

“Fucking hell, this is gold.”

You both rushed out of the car, you holding onto your camera. You stormed out into the dark.

“Take it from there.” Jason pointed. You followed him and he stood next to you. You started filming.

The girl didn’t do much. She was just under the tree, staring at nothing. She was probably asleep waiting for someone to arrive. And there wasn’t anyone around except you two so it was perfect to get that shot. Jason looked at you, watched you work.

You put the camera to your eye, adjusting the lens at you worked. You had that small bite in your lips you often did when you were focused, and your eyebrows were furrowed.

A leaf fell to your head. He smiled.

He flicked it off with his finger and you looked up. “What?”

“Nothing.”

You went on with your work, and when the girl started to move away, you stopped recording and watched the footage. “What do you think?”

He took the camera in your hand.

You got a shot of her arms holding herself in a tight hug, her head down and her mouth, which was the only part of her face you captured, in a deep, sad frown. The light looked perfect, and you definitely had a talent with camera angles.

“This is really good.”

“Thanks.” You took the camera back and stuffed it into your bag.

“You think you got enough for your music video?”

“I certainly hope so. I’ve been filming since last week.”

“Is your song really that depressing?” he asked.

“Yeah, it is.”

You started walking back to the car.

Jason watched your face again. And asking without much thought on it, he coughed. “Can I hear it?”

You stopped from opening the car door.

“The song?”

“Yeah. Whatever you got in your phone. I wanna hear it.”

You started looking uncomfortable, looking at the ground and licking your lips. “I’m not sure if I should…”

“Come on.”

You took a deep breath, leaning your back against the car. Jason walked to the other side and stood next to you.

“Fine. But don’t tell me what you think of it.”

“Why not?”

“Just don’t.”

Jason laughed and stood in front of you. You looked up at him, at his eyes, at his lips, then you pulled your phone and earphones out.

He watched you scroll through your music, plug in your earphones, then you gave one to him. Jason placed it onto his ear, and the other one you stuck to yours. He looked at you.

You pressed play.

It started with piano keys, most probably played by you. You didn’t just record this with your phone. You basically did this in your own home studio you probably had in your room.

And it was beautiful. Your playing. Then you started to sing.

“I wake up… to a dream I thought I had…

A dream I thought should have been

Stuck in the nights, when I was sad.

Like I have been for so long…

The dreams in fact were real.

The worst of them…

And there’s nothing I can do…

Why did you have to take away

The only thing that made my life

So real.

So real…

Why did this have to happen,

What could I have done,

To change.

And have you back…

For all that’s worth,

You changed me for the better.

But you're not here to see me…

Why… why… why…”

He swore the air never felt so thick. You were shaking, pushing your eyes to shut so close together.

And he stared at you, listening to every word, standing so close to feel your breath.

“Now I’m all alone and

I can't try to hide

That I will always love you

No matter how far you’ve gone….

No matter how long you’ve been gone…

Why did you have to go away

When you're the only thing that made my life

So real

So real…

Why did this have to happen,

What could I have done,

To change

How things turned out.

How I could still have you

In my arms…

Then maybe the dreams at night.

Would make it through the day.

And I’ll have you back…

And I’ll have you here…

You continued with the piano chords, playing so majestically that he had to breathe in just to get this all through to his head. The song got to the end.

By then, you were shaking.

You didn’t move, and neither did he. Still with the earphones’ wire closing your distance, Jason remembered the words, every part of it. And how your voice was so beautiful, yet so sad to listen to when you were singing with all your heart.

You stuck your attention at the grass beneath your feet, and Jason kept his stare at you.

“When did you write this?”

You still kept your head down, and you started to pull the wires to wrap it around your phone. Jason didn’t move. He still stood so close to you.

“Y/N…”

“Two years ago…” you whispered.

Two years ago. That would have been a year after…

Jason breathed in through his nose. Deep, shaky breaths, then exhaled through his mouth. You swallowed.

“Did you write it for…”

You were rocking your leg just to ease your muscles.

“Y/N, was that about me?”

You looked up around you, at the grass behind him, at the trees, the lamppost, the skies. You bit your lips. You didn’t answer.

But when you finally caught his eye, you seemed to get closer. Nearer. Your breaths were hotter and he desperately wanted to close that distance.

Of course it was for him. Who else could it have possibly been for?

His heart sank, much like it was melting into a pot. He hurt you. He hurt you that much. And he couldn’t believe it but you managed to turn that hurt into something so amazing that you took every bit of his breath away.

And your fucking voice. It still kills him to this day.

“Uhm,” you gulped. “You can take me home now.”

Jason stood back and let you open the door so you could get in.

-----

You waited for him to stop ruffling his hair and get in the car.

You shouldn’t have done that. The whole point of you writing that song was about how fucking devasted you were after you lost him. He was the last person who should have heard it.

Jason got into the driver’s seat and started the engine.

“For what it’s worth, it’s amazing.”

You looked at him, let yourself smile, then looked out the window.

The car ride was horribly silent. And Jason would have put on some music if he had any in his new phone. But you were comfortable. It wasn’t awkward.

But it was still horribly, horribly silent.

You closed your eyes and let the window stick to the side of your head.

Jason was here, and you couldn’t pull him into your arms the way you wanted to.

You couldn’t kiss him, take him to the back seat and mess around like you always used to.

You couldn’t do so much as look at him long enough that you could perfectly take in every single detail on his face.

He was here, but the things you wanted to do, you couldn’t. And it felt too much like only getting to watch him from afar, bask in his presence without actually getting to hold him the way you’ve always wanted to for years when you never otherwise could have.

You asked for these few days with him hoping to actually have him, make the most of it.

But you also understood. How that was only going to make matters so much worse.

You looked at him through the reflection on your window.

You were never going to find anyone so ridiculously handsome and still capture your heart the way he did. You were still, in ways you’d cringe if you had to describe, hopelessly in love with him. In every possible way. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with this man and make babies and grow old together. You wanted it so bad, since even the first few months you dated. You just couldn’t find that with anyone else. Not even if you tried. Jason had been the only person you could ever imagine a future with. A future you desperately wanted.

And you didn’t want that to change. That part of you that refused to move on, it insisted that you continue to love him, never to let anyone else have a shot with you even when you most probably had to. A year, two years, three years passed. Still, you loved him just as much as when he was alive.

He will, and always will be, yours to the end of your days.

At least, until he told you not to.

It tore your heart apart when he died.

But even when he was here. Alive. You still couldn’t have him.

In just two days, you were going to let him go. For good. And you didn’t know what hurt more. When he left and you couldn’t have him anymore for what you thought was the rest of your life, or now that he was here, and yet you were going to have to live without him and go on your days pretending he never existed.

Yeah. It was going to be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do.

But… if it was what he wanted. If he just couldn’t stand being with you for another moment for reasons he decided for himself, for what was supposed to be your life, you couldn’t really do much to help with that.

So as all things you had to accept in this shitty story of yours that somehow had a continuation you thought wasn’t supposed to be, you let it happen.

You had two more days with him. You have to make it count.

Jason pulled up in your parking space and got out of the car with you. You turned to him, and he smiled at you as you walked down the sidewalk.

“I had fun.”

He nodded. “Me, too.”

“Same time tomorrow?”

“Sure,” he said. “You wanna go somewhere?”

“What if I let you choose? Would I like where we’d head to?”

Jason stopped just as you reached the steps. You took one step up just to level with his height.

“I do have a place in mind.”

“Where?”

Jason grinned. It drove you crazy. You watched every bit of his face.

“You’ll find out tomorrow.”

“Todd,” you breathed. “Tell me.”

“You trust me?”

You never smiled so brightly. “Fine…”

“It’s a far drive. So, I’ll pick you up at 9 am.”

“I can't wait.”

Jason looked down. “Might as well make the most of it.”

You let yourself look into his eyes. Get lost in the blue like you always did. Somehow, he didn’t look away. Instead, he stared back at you with the same exact smile on his face.

“Good night, Jay.”

“Good night.”

You took steps back, then turned around to unlock the door.

You really, really didn’t want this to end. Jason didn’t move away and he continued to watch you before you managed to open the door.

“And Y/N…”

You peered out from inside.

“Thank you…” he said.

You gave him a wide-open smile, then ultimately closed the door.

-----

“Good thing we stopped for gasoline.”

Your chair was pushed almost all the way to the back of the car. You put your feet up so your body was completely flat. “Where are you taking me?”

“You’re just gonna have to wait and see.”

The wide, open country road. Where the ends seemed infinite and the horizon looked endless. The grass was brighter, thicker, and everything the city didn’t have from the park you went to yesterday. There was almost nothing around them except for a few diners and houses far off into the land. Probably farms.

It was all so calming, soft and serene. He needed this just as much. Time away from his line of work. Even when he was barely getting started he couldn’t help admit that it was all so exhausting.

He momentarily turned to you, falling asleep with your hand covering your eyes.

“Ey,” he nudged your knee. “Don’t go falling asleep on me.”

You blinked your eyes, then you shot the seat back up from the recline. “I wasn’t asleep.”

“Yeah you were.”

“I didn’t get to sleep much last night.”

“Why not?”

“Well.” He heard you choke. “I drank coffee.”

“Again with the coffee.”

“Whatever. Let’s put on some music. From the looks of it, we have a long way to go.”

“We do.”

You eyed him as you took out your phone and plugged it onto the car’s speaker. “In the mood for some Beatles?”

“Y/N…”

“What?”

Jason sighed, looking back out onto the road. You continued to play the music despite him obviously not wanting your choice.

“Let me take you down

'Cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields

Nothing is real

And nothing to get hung about

Strawberry Fields forever.”

“Y/N, can you pick another song?”

“Why? We used to play these all the time.”

“Exactly. Turn it off.”

You scoffed at him when he deliberately turned the volume way down. Then your spoiled ass turned it all the way back up.

Jason looked away, glaring at the window.

He knew exactly what you were trying to do. Spark back all those memories, let him realize just how much he missed all those times with you in the hopes of him changing his mind about all this. You wanted him to relive those memories and make him miss you even more after all this was over. Of course. he was going to miss you. there isn’t a doubt behind that.

But he knew how manipulative you can be. You did that a lot. Get things to go your way when you didn’t want it to. And what was he supposed to do now? Demand that you turn off the music? Make you all sad when he was taking you somewhere supposed to make you happy?

Fight?

He snorted at the idea. No. Not again. You weren’t going to fucking fight like a couple. You were just friends. And it was supposed to stay that way.

The song had changed.

“Well, she looked at me

And I, I could see

That before too long

I'd fall in love with her

She wouldn't dance with another

Ooh, when I saw her standing there!”

You were singing, moving your body to the beat. He rolled his eyes when you hit his shoulder. “Jay, I’m not gonna sing the whole thing by myself.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Why are you so stubborn?”

“I’m not playing this game.”

“Fucking hell, just enjoy the moment will you? I get it. You don’t want to be attached.”

Exactly as he thought. You knew exactly what you were doing.

“Oh, we danced through the night

And we held each other tight

And before too long

I fell in love with her”

You rocked your body left and right.

He caught you in a glance. You were beautiful. You closed your eyes, singing, and you just sounded so good, it made his chest feel all warm.

You just kept going, occasionally tapping his shoulder to catch his attention. “I’m fucking driving.”

“You can sing and drive.”

He shook his head. “I’m not gonna do that.”

“Yesterday

All my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh, I believe in yesterday…”

Oh. Your voice. It suited this song like a fucking puzzle. He knew he really shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but watch you as you closed your eyes and started to sing.

“Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be.

There's a shadow hanging over me.

Oh, yesterday came suddenly.”

Despite all the voices within him telling him to stop, he really couldn’t. He was smiling at you and dangerously kept his attention away from the road.

Shit. He looked back out and curved from the road just as he was about to hit a dog. Jason cursed.

“Why she had to go?

I don't know, she wouldn't say.

I said something wrong.

Now I long for yesterday.”

Even with his eyes on the road, he still made sure to watch you, listen.

Fuck, you just make him bend to your every whim. He hated it.

And somehow,

He wanted to.

Making you happy just feels like the best thing he could possibly do.

And just a few days ago, he murdered a whole port of Black Mask’s men, left all the bodies floating in the water without so much as looking back. That, compared to where he was now, driving in the wide open road with you singing your fucking heart out so beautifully, he was sure to choke himself someday.

He only had two days with you. He didn’t want to make this as painful as it possibly could. The last thing he’d want to do is make everything so much worse than it already was, possibly break your heart all over again as if it wasn’t already so broken beforehand. He wanted this over with, done with, then he can finally let you go and you’ll never have to put up with his cold-blooded ass ever again.

“Yesterday love was such an easy game to play.

Now I need a place to hide away.

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Why she had to go?

I don't know, she wouldn't say.

I said something wrong.

Now I long for yesterday.”

His grin was just becoming idiotic as this point.

Okay. He had two days.

He owed you that.

He owed you just a bit more happiness with him.

He owed you the closure you didn’t have. And mostly owed you your whole life. He practically ruined it.

And to him. Despite him hating every bit of his guts, what was so wrong in letting himself indulge in just a bit more happiness?

He needed this, too. With you.

No matter how much he could try to suppress it, or hide it from himself. You were still the light of his life. You still made him happier more than anything else there was. You were still the reason he wakes up every day, even when he didn’t even get to see you. You will always be the reason for his genuine smiles.

So what was wrong with making the most of the next two days?

He’ll enjoy this time. For you. for him.

It’s the least he can do.

So he breathed in, and started singing along with you.

“Yesterday love was such an easy game to play.

Now I need a place to hide away.

Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm.”

You smiled so much, your cheekbones lighting up. Your eyes had that sparkle and the tingles in him grew so much worse.

“Happy?”

“Ecstatic.”

You changed the song, and with your voices blending incredibly well with each other, Jason pulled down the car door.

Everyone should hear how good you are.

Everyone should see how beautiful you are.

About two hours passed. And you stopped by a diner on the way to get some food. You laughed while you ate. Jason couldn’t help his stares on you while you ate all the fries on your plate. You both watched the bad-quality TV up on the wall about some football game you didn’t really care much about.

His smiles never actually died down. Not for a minute.

Then you were back on the road for another thirty minutes.

You were facing out the window, and he took glances on the reflection all the way until he reached the destination. You were in the middle of nowhere. He parked the car by the side of the road, and you both got out.

“Where are we, Todd?”

“Just wait. Come on.”

There was a walkway covered in seeping grass. You wouldn’t have been able to notice if he didn’t already know what was beyond the trees. You went with him, stood close to his body.

It wasn’t too far a walk.

But what seemed to have just been a lone building covered in leaves and vines now came to a much clearer view. And he made sure to catch the look on your face when you finally made out what you thought to have been just trees were actually the steel bars of a Ferris Wheel, a tall loop of a broken roller coaster, and swings suspended from a tall poll.

“Todd, you did not.”

You got to the entrance, which had a clown’s face for the archway and its open mouth serving as a gate.

DAME BELL’S WORLD STATE CARNIVAL

-----

I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

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