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#go follow my fuckin insta
gaminegay · 8 months
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i fucking hate Instagram with such passion
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the crippling existential dread is getting to me
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I was looking through my Instagram for a picture of some of my art and came across these from the week I got harley (and also got distracted watching videos of layla and mercedes)
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Notice the dates lol
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stillmonsterz · 1 month
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all i gotta do
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for this anon!
pairing: jake x reader
genre: fluff (?), humor (???), smut
summary: it's your first day at work and you're nervous. however, your trainer is going to show you why you were nervous for the wrong reasons. one week with jake sim will either make you quit the job or never leave.
contains: unprotected sex, exhibitionism, swearing, incest mention, PTSD mention, i try to be "funny" and make "jokes"
word count: 4.4k (unproofread)
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DAY ONE
You stepped inside of your new workplace apprehensively; you hadn’t felt so nervous since your first day of university. Wiping your palms on your pants, you made eye contact with the receptionist and smiled wanly. 
“Hello,” you said, resting your fingertips on the counter. “I’m the new hire. I was wondering where I could find…Jake Sim? He’s supposed to be my…” The term that had been used in the introductory email the company had sent to you eluded you.
“Your buddy,” the receptionist said flatly. “Your Park Corp buddy.”
“Yes. That.”
“Jake Sim is on the fifth floor. I take it you’ll be working in data analysis as well?”
You nodded. “Yes, exactly.”
The receptionist smiled at you, but it belied a certain cold humor. “Good luck.”
“Yeah, you too.” As you walked away, you realized your blunder and squeezed your eyes shut. 
The fifth floor of the office building had all of the markings of a corporation attempting to reel in more younger workers. There was a vending machine as soon as you walked in, the cubicles were arranged as part of an open concept floor plan, and the walls were plastered with positive, empty aphorisms. You scanned the area, wondering which of the people hunched over their computers was Jake.
Footsteps echoed behind you, and when you turned around you saw a slight, enthusiastic-looking young man with a shock of shaggy brown hair approaching you. In his hands he held two coffee cups. 
“Hey, newbie,” he said with some affection. “Got you a coffee.”
You took the cup, surprised by his vivacity. “Thank you…”
“Jake,” he finished, holding his hand out. “Jake Sim.”
You shook his hand as firmly as you could and introduced yourself.
“I know,” he said cheerfully. “Don’t worry, I like to do a little stalking before we meet a new hire. Although…” his face grew serious. “You really shouldn’t post such…provocative pictures on your Insta. Someone could get ideas.”
Your face blanched and your fingers gripped the coffee cup. “What?”
Jake’s face broke out into a smile. “Just fuckin’ with you. Sorry, I like to razz all the new hires. Makes me feel big.”
His grin was so wide, you felt compelled to smile too. He nudged you and jerked his thumb in the direction of the cubicles. “Let me show you around, PCB.”
You blinked, then it dawned on you. “Park Corp buddy…?”
“So observant,” Jake said, amused. “Come on.”
You followed him around as he explained where everything was: the copy room, the coffee machine, the water dispenser, the popcorn machine, your cubicle (situated in the middle of the room, to your chagrin), his cubicle (tucked neatly in the corner).
Then he taught you how to use the software. Thanks to your university courses, it wasn’t difficult to learn. Jake’s playful personality also gave way to a maturity that you hadn’t expected. He carefully walked you through the program step by step.
“I’ll leave you these tasks to work on,” he said, pulling up a document he had pre-made. “If you get stuck, just come get me, okay? I’m right in the corner.”
You thanked him for his assistance and started working on the tasks he had given you. It wasn’t challenging, so much as it was tedious. Still, you persevered. 
At least, until you heard him approach you again.
“Hey,” Jake said, sitting beside you. His eyes darted around the room. “You were supposed to come get me.”
“You told me to do that if I needed you,” you replied, somewhat confused.
“Yeah,” Jake said slowly, “in case you feel the overwhelming urge to make Jakey’s day and let him help you with something so he can avoid doing his boring ass work. You don’t even understand the basics of being a PCB, do you?”
“You’re using me,” you said, waving an accusatory finger at him. 
“Can you blame me?” he retorted. “Sometimes I can…I can feel my soul leaking from my pores.”
You giggled, and he squinted at you in mock annoyance. “There’s no way you’re laughing at me,” he said, trying to fight a smile. “I’m dying, turning into a corpse, and you’re laughing.”
You shrugged. “At least you’ll die at the prime of your life.”
Jake’s lips curled into a mischievous smile. “Oh, you think I’m in my prime, huh?”
“That’s not what I me-,”
“You’re hitting on me,” Jake said, leaning in. He blinked at you like a puppy. 
You leaned away, your cheeks feeling warm. “I’m not.”
“I wouldn’t mind if you were,” he said softly.
You were about to say something else, something intelligent and witty, but one of your new coworkers approached the two of you. 
“Couldn’t wait a day before sexually harassing the newbie, could you?” He was tall, pale, and had a shit-eating grin that could rival Jake’s. Unlike Jake, who was dressed in a blue button-down and slacks, this person wore a suit with a silky black tie.
Jake leaned away from you, balking at the accusation. “I am not sexually harassing her,” Jake said, clutching his heart. “I wasn’t even normal harassing her.”
“He wasn’t,” you chimed in. 
“Don’t cover up for this louse,” Sunghoon said, shaking his head at Jake. “Look at you, corrupting one of our brightest already with your salacious comments. Weren’t you supposed to be writing up a report on the-,”
“You hear this jerkoff?” Jake said, interrupting. “He puts on a little suit and starts using words like ‘louse’ and ‘salacious’, like we’re not in data analysis.”
“I am a data architect,” Sunghoon said, playfully slamming his hand on your desk. “And I will be treated like one, damn it.”
“Quit it,” Jake said, putting his arms around you and hugging you close to him. “You’re scaring my PCB.” 
“Your PCB is going to get PTSD if you keep touching her,” Sunghoon replied drolly, crossing his arms.
Jake grinned. “My PCB is going to get PTSD if I do PDA with her?” 
Sunghoon said, “Good one,” and they laughed and high-fived. You stared at them incredulously, noting that Jake’s arm was still wrapped around your shoulder. 
“Sorry,” you said slowly, “but I’d like to do my work…”
Jake withdrew his arm and tsked under his breath, standing up. “Great going, Sunghoon,” he hissed. “Now she hates you.”
“She hates you, idiot,” Sunghoon retorted as they walked away.
You slumped down in your chair, already feeling exhausted. You worked straight through your lunch break, and as you commuted home you wondered how the rest of your training week would go.
DAY TWO 
The next day, you felt a little more equipped to navigate your new job. In your purse, you brought some items with which to decorate your desk.
You came into work early, noting that very few people show up at this time. Perfect. With careful precision, you arranged your new trinkets on your desk; a magnetic calendar for your cubicle wall, a little plush doll, a notebook, a nice mousepad, and a little jar of chocolates. 
As you’re turning your computer on, you heard three male voices approaching your desk. Two of which you recognize. 
“There she is,” you heard Jake say quietly, “isn’t she cute?”
You looked up and waved. There was Jake, wearing a button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Sunghoon, wearing another crisp suit. And a third person wearing an oversized collared shirt with dark blue jeans, looking you up and down. 
“You’re here early,” Jake said cheerfully. “Excited for work?”
“I just wanted to decorate my desk,” you explained, proudly displaying your newly decorated workplace.
The three men politely admired your table. Then Sunghoon nudged the third man in the ribs. He cleared his throat. 
“I’m Heeseung,” he said, awkwardly raising his hand. “Heeseung Lee.”
“Nice to meet you,” you replied, holding your hand out.
You shook hands with him, and Sunghoon snorted. “I didn’t get a handshake from you.”
“You also didn’t introduce yourself to me…”
Sunghoon looked away, the tips of his ears going red. “Right. I suppose that was my folly. Apologies.”
Jake leaned down and whispered, “Isn’t he such a pretentious dick?” in your ear. You suppressed another giggle as you stuck your hand out.
Sunghoon shook it firmly. “Park Sunghoon,” he said with a smile. “Data architect.”
“You told her that already,” Jake said. 
“And I told you to shut up several times, not that you ever listened,” Sunghoon retorted.
You glanced at Heeseung, and he just shrugged at you. “They can’t stop,” he said, glancing between the two of them. “It’s hard-coded into their DNA to be idiots in front of cute girls.”
Jake squinted at Heeseung. “Oh, you think she’s cute? Are you into her or something?”
Heeseung raised his hands in self-defense, backing up. “No, no, not at all.”
You sighed. “Could…could I go ahead and start my work?”
Jake shook his head and stalked away from your table. “She fucking hates you, you know that?” he said, lightly pushing Heeseung. 
Later that day, as you’re packing up to head home, you hear footsteps that were already becoming familiar.
“Hey,” Jake said quietly, “the guys and I were wondering if you wanted to eat with us at lunch tomorrow?”
You blinked up at him. “No kidding?”
“Yeah. We want you to feel welcome here,” he said, resting his hand on your shoulder. 
A smile spread across your face, and you nodded. “Sure. Sounds like it'll be a lot of fun.” Like seeing monkeys in the zoo.
Jake grinned, patting your shoulder. “Awesome! Awesome, awesome.” He paused then, placing his hand in his pocket. “One other thing,” he said slowly. 
“What’s that?” you tilted your head at him.
“Well, you know, you don’t have to dress so formally,” he said, gesturing at your outfit. “Unless you’re trying to be Sunghoon or something. You can dress business casual.”
You looked down at yourself; your outfit was pretty formal and rigid. “All right,” you said, “I’ll be nice and casual tomorrow.”
“Sounds great,” Jake said, biting his lip slightly. 
– 
DAY THREE
Work already felt much more comfortable. Besides the three coworkers you had already met, the rest of the employees ranged from amicable to ambivalent, so you never felt tense. Occasionally, Jake would come over to your desk and look at how you were coming along. Or, as you figured, he was just coming to ogle you. Not that you minded the extra attention. 
When you walked in this morning, dressed in your more casual outfit, his eyes had lingered on you for so long you thought it could be classed as a workplace violation.
“Very nice,” Jake had said approvingly. “Very…casual.”
“I try,” you had said drily, heading to your desk. 
“I’m serious,” he had said, walking with you. “You have, pardon me, a great figure.” 
“That’s not very PC,” Sunghoon had said as he passed by your desk. 
“So, what you’re saying,” Jake had started, and you were already rolling your eyes, “I’m not acting PC with my PCB?”
You had groaned. “Jake…”
“Great going, Sunghoon,” Jake had grumbled, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “You’re the worst, I swear…”
Now you were sitting with them in the break room, where they were locked in what you could only assume was a longstanding debate. 
“I’m saying that it wouldn’t be gay if it was on an island,” Jake protested, “so it wouldn’t even matter, Sunghoon.”
“Okay, but they’d eventually get rescued, so they’d have to live with that,” Sunghoon retorted, gesturing with his sandwich. 
“Yeah, but they don’t know that they’re getting rescued.”
You glanced at Heeseung, who was eating a microwavable meal. “What are they talking about?”
Heeseung leaned into you, whispering as so not to catch their attention. “It’s this stupid hypothetical they came up with,” Heeseung explained. “If there was an island, and a pair of adult siblings were on one end, and a pair of two straight men were on the other end, which pair would hook up first?”
You blinked. “Well, the siblings, right?”
A haunting silence overtook the break room. Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon all stared at you, and you got the impression that you had disrupted something sacred, something hallowed.
Sunghoon laughed and pointed at you. “See? See? Your little work wife doesn’t even agree with you. Those siblings would be smashing, right?”
“Well, I g-,”
“All over each other,” Sunghoon continued, making vulgar gestures with his hands. “It’d be like…five hours. Sweaty from the sun. They’d be rolling around, sand in their ass, it’d be carnal. Primal.”
Jake stared at you incredulously. “You really don’t think the straight guys would fuck?”
You shrugged helplessly. “Well, they’re straight, so I mean…”
Jake groaned, throwing his head back dramatically. “Okay. Look. If you were on an island with a sexy ass woman, and she had short nails and everything, and she was fully ready to finger your pussy, you wouldn’t let her smash? Because you were ‘straight’?”
“I mean…no.”
“Nah,” Jake said, waving a baby carrot in your face. “You’re either deluded or you aren’t thinking hard enough. You’d get desperate. You’d be munching so much carpet you’d look like…like…”
“Like a carpet factory,” Heeseung said sarcastically. 
“You’re so fucking unfunny,” Jake replied. “No, you’d look like…”
“Like she’s an interior designer?” Sunghoon offered. 
“Close enough,” Jake said, sighing. “Real dark day when Sunghoon is funnier than you. Do better, Heeseung.”
“Yeah, Heeseung,” you said, “do better.”
Heeseung scoffed. “I thought you were my friend.”
You shrugged. “I wanted to join in.”
Jake clapped you on your back and laughed. “Look at you. Blending in already!”
– 
After lunch you excused yourself and went to the bathroom. When you emerged, Jake was leaning against the wall, playing with his fingers. 
“Hey,” he said, straightening up. “Had a random hypothetical for you.”
“Sure,” you said, crossing your arms. 
“So,” Jake began, his eyes darting around your face, “if you were stuck on a deserted island…”
You groaned. 
“Wait! Wait, wait, wait.” Jake put one hand on your shoulder. “If you were stuck on a deserted island, which of us would you want with you? Me, Sunghoon, or Heeseung?”
You frowned. “Well, you, obviously.”
Jake smiled at you widely, running his fingers through his hair. “Ha, for real?”
“Well, yeah. I know you the best.”
His smile faltered. “Is that really the only reason?”
You frowned, unsure of what to say. “I me-,”
Jake clapped you on the back and snorted. “I was just messing with you,” he said before striding back to his corner cubicle.
DAY FOUR 
You consulted your list of tasks. Your last, and most important task, was to type up a data analysis report based off of the information you had been gathering for the past week. Jake said that he would look over it for you later.
After spending the better part of your morning working on the report, you leaned back and stretched. Your eyes were starting to hurt from staring at a screen for so long, and you rubbed them.
Jake was next to you before you could react. “Hey,” he said, “how’s the report going?”
“It’s going,” you said, pinching the bridge of your nose.
“Let me see,” Jake said, leaning over you and scrolling through your document. Your breath hitched; he was so close, you could smell his cologne. If you glanced to your right, you would be able to see his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed. 
Jake silently pored over the document, his chest pressed against your back. His hand rested on your shoulder, and you couldn’t tell if he was rubbing it as a subconscious habit or not.
“Looking good so far,” he whispered, and when his hand slid down your arm, you knew it was intentional.
“Anything I need to fix?” you asked, attempting to maintain a semblance of professionalism.
“Hm…” Jake leaned in to you evermore, until he was flush against you. “Nothing I can see. You’re a good worker, aren’t you?”
“I try,” you said quietly. 
“A good little worker bee,” Jake said softly, his lips almost brushing your ear. “Just what I like.”
You dared to turn your head slightly to catch Jake’s gaze, and he smiled at you, that easy-going, smile that hid a wealth of sobriety and determination. He patted your shoulder again and leaned upwards. The loss of his scent and touch bothered you, but you didn’t say a word. 
“I’ll leave you to it now,” Jake said, stretching his wrists out. “Come early tomorrow, okay?”
“Huh? Why?” 
“So I can look over your report one last time before you submit it,” Jake said plainly. “What were you thinking, you naughty little bee?”
“I wasn’t thinking of anything like th-,”
Jake laughed. “I was kidding. You’re so cute when you’re all flustered, though.”
When Jake left, you realized that you had been squeezing your plush doll. You released it and sighed. Then, you continued working on the report. 
DAY FIVE 
You strode into the office early. Jake had emailed you through the company’s email, requesting that you arrive on the fifth floor at 7:30 am. Work started at 9:00, so he would have ample time to go over the report with you.
When you entered the floor, you first noted that there were a few workers already there, hunched over their desks. Just a few overachievers…or underachievers, you guessed. 
Jake was waving you over to his cubicle, his hair flopping in his face as he enthusiastically beckoned you. You walked towards him. 
“Come on,” he said, smiling at you playfully despite the early time. “Come sit.”
You went to pull over another chair, but Jake grabbed your wrist. “No, no,” he said with a shake of his hair. “Just sit next to me.” He scooted over in his chair, leaving you with a sliver of space. 
You were already growing accustomed to Jake’s “jokes”, so you sat next to him. Your left leg hung over the side of the chair, the other smushed against Jake’s. 
He smiled at you, then opened your report on his computer. You had sent it to him that night, your heart fluttering even though it was just an email. Just five days at this office was making you as pathetic as Jake and his friends. 
As he scrolled through the document, he kept glancing at you. Eventually, Jake said, “You can’t be comfortable sitting on the chair like that.”
“You’re right,” you said with a sigh. “I’m not.”
“Why not just…sit on my lap?” Jake asked nonchalantly, his lower lip jutting out in a slight pout.
You sighed. “I see the game you’re playing here, Sim.”
“Will you play, my little worker bee?”
A shift of your ass from the small slice of chair to Jake’s lap was your answer to him, and when you leaned against him he smiled. Jake’s hands reached down to encircle your hips. 
“You really are such a good bee,” he said, massaging your hips. 
“I can be even better if you let me,” you replied, your gaze flickering to his plush lips. 
Jake leaned his head against the mesh backing of his swivel chair. Your back was pressed against his chest, and your hands reached behind you to stroke his face. “I’d like to test that theory,” Jake said softly.
You leaned in and kissed him, reveling in the taste of his lips. He followed suit, kissing you enthusiastically. Jake’s hands remained on our hips, but they soon slid to your thighs, squeezing and groping at the soft flesh. Jake swiped his tongue along your bottom lip a few times, and you widened your mouth. His tongue probed past your lips, licking your own tongue.
“So good,” he whispered, briefly breaking the kiss. “You’d never let fuckass Sunghoon do this, right?”
“Jake…”
“Sorry, baby,” Jake said apologetically. “I get territorial. I’m like a wolf.”
“Jake, come on.”
“Awoo,” he said playfully before kissing you again. Your tongues pressed together, swirling around each other. As the kiss deepened, you bit his lower lip before licking the mark. Jake groaned into your mouth.
“Little bee,” he said, pulling away once again. He rested his forehead against yours. “If you’re going to do stuff like that, you’re gonna have to commit to it.”
“I want to commit to it,” you said, leaving wet kisses along his neck. 
Jake groaned and grabbed one of your legs. He brought it over his lap and dragged your hips closer to his crotch. “Now, you’re going to have to be quiet. Can you do that for me?”
“I can be quiet,” you said, resting your hands on his shoulders. 
“Promise? This isn’t a big office,” he said, his voice low and hoarse. “It’d be a shame if someone heard us and you got in trouble. You wouldn’t want that, right?”
“No,” you whispered. As you stared at him, Jake started to unbuckle his belt. When he noticed your gaze, he frowned. 
“Come on, bee,” he said, gesturing at your skirt. “Can’t do everything for you, can I?”
You zipped your skirt down in the back and shifted so you could wriggle yourself out of it. Jake gave you an exasperated glance, so you shimmied your panties down to your thighs.
“And?” he asked impatiently.
“And…what?”
Jake sighed. “Take your tits out, come on.”
The phrase was so vulgar it shocked you, but somehow it was sexy when uttered from Jake’s mouth. The contrast between his disgusting mind and his boyish good looks thrilled you, so you did as he asked. You un-buttoned your shirt down and tugged your bra straps down, revealing your chest. 
Immediately, Jake groped your tits, sighing in pleasure. “Feeling up a pretty girl’s tits early in the morning,” he said, almost reverently. “This is amazing.”
The sensation cause you to moan, and Jake immediately sent you a harsh look. He squeezed one of your breasts, and you suppressed a gasp. “I told you to be quiet, little bee,” he whispered. “You said you could do it.”
“I can,” you murmured. 
“Then show me you can,” Jake replied, still fondling your breasts. He pinched your nipples, squeezed your tits, pushed them together then apart. After a while, he took one of your hands and placed it on his crotch. 
First, you rubbed his hard-on through his slacks, and he bit his lip to avoid moaning. Then you unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock. You were surprised by its girth, as well as the fact that he was already leaking precum. Spitting into your hand, you gathered up some of that precum and used it to stroke his shaft. Jake shuddered and gritted his teeth together. 
“Nice and slow,” he said, his breathing already labored. “Slowly, baby.”
You heeded his order and stroked his cock while he played with your breasts. He hadn’t tired of them; on the contrary, he was transfixed by them. Jake leaned forward and bit one of your breasts hard, sucking at the spot immediately after. “Look at this and think of me,” he whispered before leaving another hickey on your other breast. 
Jake suddenly seemed to remember that he didn’t have much time with you. He took his mouth off of your breast and swatted your hands from his cock. Then he covered your lips with his hand and slowly, painstakingly, guided his cockhead into your dripping, wet pussy. 
You were glad you were being muffled by his hand, because you would not have been able to contain your shivering moans. He shallowly fucked into you, allowing you to get used to his length. When he felt that you were ready, he lifted his hips upwards and slid inside of you completely, letting out a heavy breath.
“Now bounce on it,” Jake whispered into your ear. One hand freely groped your breast, the other was clamped onto your hip. You guessed that he trusted you not to moan now. 
You had never ridden dick before, but you had a general idea of how to do it. You lifted yourself up and down, your pussy enveloping his shaft. The feeling was incredible, and you bit his hand as you worked yourself on his cock. As you did, the swivel chair squeaked due to the movement.
Jake shunted his hips upwards, matching your movements. His hand moved down to your waist, gripping it tightly. “Faster,” he hissed. “Faster, baby.”
Now that you had gotten used to him, you bounced on him faster. Your ass slapped against his strong, muscular thighs, and you knew that there was no way you were being conspicuous. Your pussy made smacking noises as you rode him, and the swivel chair squeaked like it was going to break.
Still, Jake urged you on. “Come on, come on, fucking put that slutty pussy to work,” he said, taking your tits into his mouth. Both of his hands were gripping your hips, pushing him onto his length. “Keep going. Don’t you dare…stop.”
You were reaching your limit, exhaustion seeping into your limbs. Jake lightly pinched your side, and you gasped. “I told you to keep going, baby.”
So you kept going. You swore you could feel him in your womb, that was how far he was pushing you. “Pussy’s gonna be shaped like this dick,” Jake hissed, leaving sloppy kisses all over your chest. “My masterpiece.”
Warmth filled you, all the way to your core, and you knew you were about to burst. “Cover my mouth,” you whispered and Jake immediately placed his hand over your mouth, rutting into you even faster.
“Gonna cum,” Jake grunted, his thrusts growing slower and sloppier. “Gonna fill this sweet pussy up.” With a growl that didn’t dare leave his throat, he fucked his cum into you, his hand still gripping your hip. Slowly, painstakingly, he pulled out of you, and you could see his cum dripping out of you.
He kissed your forehead and uncovered your mouth. “That was so good,” you whispered.
“It’ll be better next time,” Jake said slyly. 
“Oh, yeah?” You started to put your clothes back on, tugging your bra down and buttoning your shirt again. “What makes you so sure?”
Jake leaned into your ear again. “Next time, I’ll get to hear you scream my name.”
You pulled away from him, your eyes widening. 
Jake smiled at you. “Just kidding.”
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strwbmei · 7 months
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Kinktober : Level 2.
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summary: as a loyal servant, you've grown tired of the archon taking your work for granted.
contains: gn reader, reader has a dick, anal, dubcon, brat taming, semi-public sex, spanking, crying, degradation, humiliation, you write on her, no aftercare, rough sex
pairing(s): furina x reader
a/n: uh. accidentally scheduled to post this for the 15th and just realized now. oops. hope the dialogue isn't too cheesy...
thats all for now, i'll be a bit busy this weekend so i can't promise that i'll be able to respond to asks/messages
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NSFW below the cut !
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"Unhand me right this insta-!"
"Shut. Up."
You had your Archon's wrist pinned to the wall; petite and feeble arms uselessly flailing as she made what could only be called a pathetic attempt at resistance. "Do you think you're getting away with this?! Just wait 'til this is over, you..!"
You roll your eyes. "Me? Do you even know my name?" You'd been such a loyal servant— obeying her every whim, working tirelessly because of the impossible demands she had set, and yet; she didn't even know who you were. Not once has Furina spared you a second thought. You were merely one of her servants. Hers to command and control as she pleased.
She let her mouth hang open for a second before closing it again, biting back a retort that she can't think of. "What's wrong, dear Archon? Aren't you going to fight back?"
Furina had always acted so high and mighty, but merely cornering her in a dusty, secluded warehouse had her feeling so weak and small— at least, in your presence. Wait, no— she's an Archon! What right did you have to treat her like this? You should be groveling at her feet for forgiveness if anything!
Though, as much as Furina wanted to... she couldn't deny how aroused she was getting. You scoff seeing her clench her thighs together. "Of course, this whole situation gets you wet. Fuckin' slut." Before she could make up a comeback, you let go of her wrists.
"Bend over and put your hands on the wall."
"I don't wanna!"
"I wasn't asking. Don't make me repeat myself." You ordered, using a tone full of authority that made Furina's heart skip a beat. She's been the one ordering and bossing people around for as long as she can remember, and she certainly doesn't mind, but she had no idea that giving someone else control could feel so... freeing.
Begrudgingly, she followed your orders; turning around and resting her palms on the dusty walls.
A second passed, nothing. Furina found a sort of thrill in the anticipation of what you'd do, but it was still nerve-wracking nonetheless. A few more seconds passed, and as Furina was about to speak, her words were cut off by a moan she didn't even realize she let out when you spanked her ass.
Her body threatens to lose its balance, knees faltering and hands slightly slipping. You rub the spot where you had hit in a mockingly soft way. "Aww, too much for my spoiled goddess?" You cooed into her ear; her frustration evident. Just then, an idea pops into your head. "Mm... I know, why don't we play a game?"
"Since you forgot my name," She looks at you with a confused expression from over her shoulders; heterochromatic eyes already glossy and wet with tears that threaten to spill onto her smooth skin. "I'll give you a name, instead." The game sounded simple enough, but the sadistic smirk you had on your face spoke volumes.
"From now on, I want you to refer to yourself as my personal cocksleeve. Not the Hydro Archon. Not Furina. When you're in my presence, you don't serve any other purpose but to take my cock. Got it?"
The Archon, the respected and feared Archon of Fontaine, meekly and hesitantly nods; so weak suddenly. Her obedience, though unexpected, pleased you— unlike her silence. What happened to the loud, irritating voice she used as she bossed and ordered you around? Where did all that strength go?
Slap.
Furina yelped. "I asked you a question." You're sure that her body would have tumbled over if you weren't holding her ass up. "I-I uh," Embarrassment filled her as she stuttered. Slap. "Yes..!" You snickered at her whiny tone, which you're sure wasn't on purpose.
You pulled her shorts down, a string of her slick connecting her cunt to her now ruined panties. Fuck. "Are you really getting wet from this?" You mock. Your finger ghosts over her entrance, and you can feel it throb and flutter around nothing.
"No, I'm not..! Do you really think that-"
Slap.
"I didn't give you permission to speak." The second you take a step back, it feels as if the weight of the world was lifted off of Furina's shoulders. "Tell you what, since I'm feeling generous..." This time, you slap her cunt, making her whine from the mix of pain and pleasure.
"I'll give you three seconds. If you run away, you can throw me in a jail cell or do whatever you want to me. But if you don't," Her ass is an angry red from the sheer force of your slaps, and you take it upon yourself to rub it in teasing circles before slapping it once again. "I'll humiliate and fuck you until you're a good-for-nothing slut."
"Three." You stay completely still, arms crossed as your figure loomed over the other woman. "Two." Furina stays unmoving, and you can see her cunt glisten with arousal. "One."
As she looked back over her shoulders, her stomach churned with both excitement and nervousness once she saw the sadistic smirk on your lips. "Fuckin' brat. You're fucking disgusting." Although your words sounded like you were insulting her, you couldn't be more proud to have the Hydro Archon bending herself over for you, wet pussy on display— all for a servant she never even gave a second glance at.
No matter how much Furina wanted to deny it; fight back... she was incredibly desperate and horny— and even if she didn't want you to know that, her body told you all about it. The weight and consequences of her decisions don't hit her— at least, not until she feels your thick cock, hard and as rigid as stone from her doing, resting on her back.
Just an hour ago, she was going on about her day as usual. Under no circumstances would she imagine that she'd be getting her ass pounded by you in a dirty storage room, praying to whatever other gods existed out there that you wouldn't get caught.
"Shiit..." The death grip you have on her waist doesn't relent, still as strong as it was before your first orgasm. How many times has Furina cum? None. It doesn't matter. She'll take any scrap of pleasure she can get at this point— she just wants to be filled. "So tight... just for me." You can feel her balance faltering as you slap her ass again.
And you don't even fulfill that. You're completely selfish; the only reason you chose to fuck her ass was solely because while it was tighter, she receives little to no pleasure. Plus, not many people can say that they've fucked an Archon in the ass. You wanted her to learn that she's merely a toy— and that it doesn't matter if she doesn't cum as long as you do.
At least, that was what you intended.
You chuckle darkly through heavy breaths, seeing Furina squirt and make a mess everywhere. "Seriously? You're cumming and squirting like a whore from getting your ass fucked? How pathetic can you get?"
Just then, a thought crosses your mind: how pathetic can she get?
Looking over at the pile of boxes next to you, you spot a marker on top of some documents that you hope were unimportant, seeing how some of Furina's juices got on them. You don't check to see if the marker is washable or permanent. You spread her legs even wider, and the last thing she hears is the cap getting removed before feeling a short, cool sensation on the back of her thighs.
"Every time you cum from me fucking your ass," Slap. "I'll write something on your body." Furina doesn't respond. She doesn't trust herself to run her mouth; remembering how that was the reason this encounter happened in the first place.
You lift her off your cock, making her whine at the loss of contact. She quickly realizes what you were trying to do as soon as you turn her to face the door. "N-no... please!" The Archon tries to make use of the rest of her feeble strength, kicking— though her actions tickled you more than it hurt.
"Oh, baby..." You cooed. Your tone almost reminded her of your meek, monosyllabic replies to her bossing you around— but now, there was an added sultriness and authority. "You can fight back all you want if that makes you feel better, but we both know you want this."
"Look. Even if you don't want to admit it, at least your body is honest." You rub on her still-sensitive clit, prolonging and coaxing out more of her orgasm. Tears start streaming down her face as soon as you bring her down on your cock, ass stretching to accommodate your size.
"Please, 'm sorry!... I'm... mhmff... Your personal cocksleeve is sorry! If we get caught..." Her words are cut off by a particularly hard thrust knocking the air out of her lungs. You smile at her words, but your pace doesn't relent. In fact, it gets even faster. "Oh? You know your name. I thought you were too dumb for even that." Besides, the way she clenched tighter once you positioned her in front of the door of the warehouse didn't go unnoticed.
She keeps on begging and apologizing through sobs and moans, feeling herself close to passing out with the sheer force of her incoming orgasm. With a loud sob, her body grows limp and her cum forms a puddle on the ground beneath you two.
"Tsk. All that talk, and she couldn't even last two rounds." You groan, laying her slack body on the floor. Her legs are trembling, and her thighs are a sticky mess. Her gaping hole is filled to the brim with your cum, just as it should be. There are numerous writings on her previously sacred body; namely words such as 'slut' and 'whore.'
With a few jerks of your cock, warm ropes of your cum shoot out and cover the woman beneath you. You zip up your pants, leaving her both physically and sexually ruined for the next person who would be unfortunate enough to find her.
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╰┈➤ taglist ; @nbdaddykink , @teethoftheeditor , @roninraccoon , @commandercarbs , @sapphic-simp4015 , @truculentbantam , @vrachis , @dukemira , @arbiteriey , @krowbyss
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fedoraspooky · 2 months
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I truly hope the rumors of tumblr selling its user's artwork and other images to midjourney aren't real, because I am extremely tired of having to uproot and move around on the internet and still haven't fully recovered from the old dA-to-tumblr exodus... But juuuust in case a deal like that does go through, I'mma just leave this linktree post here. Just, y'know, for reasons.
The worst part is, you can't even delete or go back and edit your posts to opt out if this happens, because reblogs are unaffected. If anyone has ever reblogged your work there will be no way to opt out of this unless we can get a class action suit for tumblr going, or I guess report our own artwork and hope they nuke it themselves.
Just... Really didn't fuckin need this. Tumblr has been my internet home since 2011. I may not have a lot of followers, but I've made a lot of friends here over the years, and i don't wanna start all over from scratch AGAIN because some pissbaby CEO decided to have a transphobic breakdown and sell out all of the site's artists to theft machine robber barons for a shiny nickel.
I'm hesitant to post on insta too because zuck's vacuuming up everything for his AI too. Same with musk. Like, where the hell can we even go now?
All I can think of rn is just... Bluesky, cohost, sheezyart (which is as of this post still in closed beta), and newgrounds. There's furaffinity and stuff too but idk if I draw enough furries to be on a furry site, y'know? Idk, maybe my werecreature and nonhuman character stuff counts but just ughhh if we gotta move, can we all just agree on a place and move together and not scatter to the winds again? That would be great.
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pinkandpurple360 · 4 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/todomemolesta18/736952956696625152/seeing-stars-dialogue-rewrite-stolas-blitzy-come
So fuckin cathartic. Bonus if Blitz admits she owns the book more than he does so what was he supposed to do. Also the fact stolas got mad at him for not reprimanding his daughter is hilarious.
But I’d add one. Blitz goes to go find Octavia and says “what happened to *i have my ways darling~*?”
Exact same situation, stolas located IMP who had the grimoire in the human world and found them right away. He was extraordinarily powerful then. And later in this episode he is weak, pathetic, and helpless. The only explanation being if he was lying. That’d be pretty creepy. The only way he could know if he was taking a bath and watching him through the bath bubbles, I also think he was spying on Blitzø after Ozzies, which is the only possibly way stolas saw him cry. In look my way, how does he have any idea Blitzø is damaged??? In canon the one thing he said was “I just can’t do it tonight I’m sorry”
Realistically, western energy is chronologically the first time since Ozzies that they spoke. The awkwardness and back and forth is much more in character.
To me it’s as if stolas is lying to his face. Just the dramatic way he behaves and throws his head up seems like he’s lying. Plus he’s clearly very excited to be around him, playing with sunglasses and jumping in the van with him. Even flirting with the random security guard. Until he remembers via again, does nothing, then Blitz has to speak up and send his own daughter to find her.
With the motivation of the original lie, being that he wants blitz to keep looking like an imp because he finds him hot that way. And he wants him to think stolas needs help and cant find her alone. Even though all Loona had to do was check her Instagram. Stolas follows blitzos Instagram and comments on all of his photos—that’s the most “romantic” thing Viv could come up with—but doesn’t have his own daughters insta? And Loona, who had never met Via before, does?
Then, after blitz sees through his lie for not making sense, he insults blitzøs intelligence and brings moxxie, someone he just scared half to death, into it for no reason.
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celestie0 · 1 month
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please share your thoughts on vinland saga. what is your favorite character, scene...? what is something you learnt through it?
omgogmogmgmggogm ty for this ask anon also so sorry it took me a while to get around to but i appreciate it i loooove vinland saga sm n i’d love to talk more ab it 😭🫶🏼💕 n if you’ve seen the show too i’d love to know ur answers to those questions as well aaa :””)
my favorite character for suuurrree is thorfinn :”) he is my sweet summer child, the apple of my eye, the kindest of all, my son, my heart, my treasure, my love, i adore him sm there are times where i think of him n i just start tearing up out of nowhere. imma sound so fkn insane when i say this but i really truly believe he exists in my hearrrtttt 😭💕 like he has to, there’s no way these feeligns of adoration i have for him have not manifested on some physical realm i just love him sosososooso much sobs he is my favorite fictional character of all time n i wish i could smooch makoto yukimura very gingerly on the cheek for bringing such a beautifully well written character to life. his determination to become a better person, live true to his ideals, and create safe haven for others is srs so inspirational to me i love him sm
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[panels colored by @/hawta_mahmood on insta]
i would literally commit war crimes for him LMFAO (even tho that’s the opposite of what he would want anyone to do for him haha)
as for what i’ve learned n my fave scene(s) i will add a keep reading bc spoilers and also it’s gonna be really fuckin long 💀
what have i learned from vinland saga? dear god, so much. i could talk about this show for hours, HOURS, and i have before!! it is just that dense in philosophy n had my head spinning from all the reflections
of course, there is the infamous line in the show ‘i have no enemies’, which i think can mean a lot of different things to different people, in thorfinn’s case it is the line that allows him to adopt a life of tranquility n pacifism. i think for me, this line taught me to assume the best in people, and once i started doing that i think i learned how peaceful n meaningful life can be. for example, if i interact with a rude person or am fighting with someone i care about, and i am affected emotionally by it, i might think of that lesson from the show and i feel free in knowing that i have no one who i desire to hurt or retaliate against or even harbor negative feelings towards in my head(the saying comes to mind to think or speak negatively about others is to poison yourself) as someone w a lot of fuckin anxiety it’s very liberating to think that way, and i think that’s the biggest lesson i’ve learned from the show (among many, many, many others. i think another big lesson is obviously the subject of forgiveness, both in others and in oneself, but this post will end up being too long if i go into depth of all the things i’ve thought ab while watching vinland saga)
as for my fave scenes, i’ll try to just pick three 😭😭😭
1. end of the prologue. the scene when askleadd dies was so beautifully done. the moment where in his final moments, he urges thorfinn to rethink his life and what he wants from it, and to follow in his father’s footsteps. askeladd was such a cruel, violent, and objectively horrible person n was the cause of thorfinn’s journey of hatred in the first place, and yet in his final moments somehow his words to thorfinn did not feel out of character. that was the moment where i realized wow, this author knows what tf he’s doing and is truly so talented. to have a character’s traits sneak up on you like that, built so subtly throughout the show, so that the payoff feels so real and fitting and not forced, driving the direction of the story in the way we had been hoping for the whole time. fuuuckckf. also, quick mention of the scene where thorifnn finally lets go of his dagger n all the scenes from season one flash by on the metal. fuck. i cry EVERY. TIME.
2. i mean it’s a given, but the scene when thorfinn finally understands his father’s words and admits to a circle of bloodlust vikings that they are not his enemies, and that he has no enemies. what a wonderful full circle moment for his character arc, i get chills just thinking about it
3. this one may be a bit more random lol, but the episode that will forever stick in my memory is gardar’s backstory episode. fuck i could writr a ten page essay about this one twenty minute episode ALONE, but i’ll just pick out the one scene that just kills me. the scene where gardar helplessly watches himself in the past, as he leaves arnheid & hjalti, and there’s nothing he can do to stop himself. fucking hell. if there’s any scene that i think could perfectly show what a feeling of regret is like, that would be the scene, and what fucks me up so much about that scene is how he cannot even manage WORDS. he is a grown man, reduced to intelligible sounds because his pain is so profound and his guilt runs so deep that it is like he becomes all but a helpless child. just kill me, seriously. i had never cried so hard in my LIFE watching anything than in that episode. i sobbed so hard i had hiccups n my sleeves were covered in snot. but the ending, when he got to see his son again in the afterlife n he was the age that he wouldve been if he was still alive :”) my god. yukimura nails anything that has to do with father son dynamics, im sure its because he has a few boys of his own, and his love for his children is so evident in his writing. but also, the fact that he was able to make me feel SO MUCH for a character we hardly knew anything of, and also to use a character that the audience is not very familiar with to tell a story that i think almost everyone on this planet could relate to in some capacity (things we want to change n wish we could go back to do so…) just what a genius genius creative decision like he is just such a wonderful writer i appreciate him so much 😭😭😭
god, all of s2 is honestly my favorite scene LMFAO. the whole entirety of it is a masterclass in story telling. imma just do a quick few more of my fave scene shoutouts tho 😭
thorfinn getting his ear sliced by fox, thorfinn calling einer his brother, thorfinn climbing his way out of valhalla, thorfinn telling arnheid about vinland before she passed away, snake revealing the truth behind ketil’s name, thorfinn reuniting with his mother again. god just all of it. i swear, just all of it.
GAT DAYUM THIS IS LONG but idgaf i’d talk about this show until i draw my last breath lmfaooo thank u anon for this ask im clearly insane 🤣🤣🤣 ur probs like im never sending this bitch an ask ever again LMFAO just joking but srs i appreciate it i had a lot of fun answering :””) i just love this show so much
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iammontygator · 6 months
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Pov : Monty’s sudden and extreme agressivity is worrying the staff at the Mega Pizzaplex, and they’re starting to get fed up... [Monty’s affected/controlled story] :
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Mike : Hey John! How are you?
John : *sigh* ... Not really good, actually.
Mike : Why?? *see the yellow and black bass on his cart* Oh crap, you’re going to see Monty!
John : Yeah.
Mike : I hope for you he’ll be nice today. I really hope.
John : I hope too..
Mike : Apparently It’s because of him that half the staff bots disappe-
John : Yeah, I heard that, thank you. No need to overdo it.
Mike : Ah, yeah, sorry man. I understand.
John : *sweats* ... He really creep me out. He threw a chair at me one day. Of course that’s not the kind of stuff that his fans see..
Mike : Yeah, I remember that. You had to be rushed to the hospital. And to think that they haven’t even decommissioned him... We should install a camera in his room and post the video on YouTube. Do you know how many Insta followers that bastard has??
John : I have no idea.
Mike : 5 millions!! Can you imagine? And all these people litteraly adore him.
John : Because they don’t know him the way we do. You have to work at the Pizzaplex to find out who the Glamrocks really are.
Mike : *sigh* Thank goodness for Chica. Even if she gets a bit creepy when there’s pizza, she’s cool. She gave me a cookie last time.
John : And Freddy. He’s cool, too.
Mike : Yeah, you’re right. Freddy’s cool too.
John & Mike : *arrives outside Monty’s room*.
Mike : Well, that’s not all, but I’ve got work to do too. I’ve got to go and check the ventilation in Monty Golf, apparently there’s been some weird noises coming from that side for a few days. Good luck with the gator!
John : Yeah, thank you Mike.
Mike : *walks away and see a Wet Floor Bot* Hey buddy! *pats it on the head*.
John : *gulp* ...
Knock Knock.
John : *wait a few seconds then open the door* Good afternoon Mr Gator.
Monty : *sitting back in his chair, eyes closed and hands behind his head* ...
John : ... Hum. Mr Gator, I’ll bring your guitar for the show. It’s been completely repaired and we’ve made sure to repaint it in the same colours as before, exactly as you ask-
Monty : *open his red eyes* How did ya just called it..?
John : *blushes and sweats* W-what..? Are you talking about your gui-
Monty : *rises abruptly and knocks his chair over* IT IS. NOT. A. FUCKIN’. GUITAR!!!
Staff employee : *petrified* ... I-I-I am-
Monty : *walks towards him* IT’S A BASS, YOU IDIOT. DON’T YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GUITAR AND A BASS?!
John : I-I’m sorry Mr Gator, it was a really stupid mistake-
Vanessa : *enters the room* MONTY !
Monty : *looks at Vanessa and growls* ...
John : *relieved* Officer Vanessa!
Vanessa : I thought I made myself clear last time. Wasn’t I?
Monty : *growls* ...You were.
Vanessa : Good, so why do you look so upset right now?
Monty : I am not..Upset.
John : He definitely is.
Monty : *turns to John* WHAT DID YA SAY?!
Vanessa : MONTY !!
Monty : *points to John* GET THIS MORON OUT OF MY ROOM!
Vanessa : John, get out of here.
John : *comes out grumbling* I’m really going to install that camera.
Mike : *meets John after finishing his work* John! How did it go with the gator?? Was it as horrible as last t-
John : *passes quickly in front of Mike* I hate him.
Mike : Well ... It went badly, I guess!
———————————————————————
[Vanessa’s note : I don’t know what’s going on, but Monty’s have been behaving strangely lately. He’s got some pretty serious anger issues in normal circumstances, but for the last few days it’s been worse... He keeps destroying his room, and not just that! He’s also been messing up random places in the Pizzaplex! On top of that, he’s been particularly agressive and threatening towards the staff. Oh, and he’s even going after his bass now. He’s taken to destroying it on stage. I’m thinking of sending him to parts and service for a check-up, but he’d have to be in a cooperative mood...]
[artist : unknown. Please, if you made this drawing and my repost bothers you, let me know.]
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So I did a little experiment and I wish I took screenshots as proof because I don’t know how many people are going to believe me. So I think Cody is actually reading my DMs on instagram and just doesn’t want to reply 😂. Here is why.
A couple days ago I sent Cody the insta page of an LA artist that I love because I thought he would like his work. I went back to his page yesterday and I saw Cody was following him but I couldn’t remember if he was already following him or not so I brushed it off as coincidence considering he’s pretty popular.
Today I sent Cody the instagram page of a clothing company I really like and said I think it really matches his aesthetic and he might like it. This time I took note if he followed or not. He didn’t. He also wasn’t in their likes or anything. I just went back to their page now out of curiosity and guess who is now following them…fuckin Cody. Is it just another crazy coincidence that he happened to follow them the same day I sent him their page or….
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simothys · 10 months
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if u dont dont mind me asking FOUR for the art asks: 1, 5, 18, & 29?
THANK UUUU MY FRIEND!!! i love when people ask multiple questions i do not mind at all!
1. Do you prefer traditional drawing, or digital?
digital! i wish i were better at traditional and worked with it more, but the work of setting up and taking down a space to create (be it with pencil, crayon, gouache, or oils - my usual traditional mediums) is often too much for me w my low energy levels. so, digital is what i’ve practiced more, and thus is more comfortable for me!
5. What’s your favorite thing to draw?
ok, im gonna get fuckin shot in the street for this one BUT: body hair and hands. literally theyre so fun!!
18. What are you currently trying to improve on?
in technique: feet, scenery, and details! i tend to give up on adding details in designs (specifically clothing), so lately ive been pushing myself to add details where id usually opt for something simpler! and scenery is just something i haven’t practiced in an embarrassingly long time.
it was actually @heartsl0b ‘s art* that made me go “oh fuck i wanna do that better” on both details and scenery! and drawing feet just frustrates me lmao, so i need to practice
but, as for non-technique related things: im trying to improve on actually drawing! i used to be able to get a piece out in one sitting, but now here i am, a year later, and its a struggle to do anything more than a few lines before i need to do something else. sooo im hoping to help my attention span and my stamina for art!
29. For traditional artists: How do you usually start on a big piece? (Light sketch, colored lead, sketchpaper, etc)
thumbnails. if u arent doing thumbnails for a big piece idk what to tell u. but as for when i actually get the final canvas/paper out, i usually just go straight into an underpainting tbh? or ill do a loose sketch in pencil, then just fuckin paint over that. it depends!
* if u dont follow heartsl0b what r u doing. go look at their art. its so fucking tasty and their progress vids on insta make me sooo insane.
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lickmeleclerc · 2 years
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The anon saying that Charles and Charlotte will probably break up... I agree. Tbh I have the feeling that 2022/2023 will make them or break them. Like, she just graduated from college (I think?), so that in itself is a change in her life. Charles is getting more famous now that Ferrari is back competing, so his professional life is changing a lot and it will definitely affect his personal life... Their relationship give me an off vibe since the very first moment, because I've followed the whole drama in 2019. I decided to mostly not be judgemental with Charlotte due to the fact that wags always get a lot of hate and she was very young. But three years have come and gone, and I still get an off vibe from her. Especially because she's not that close to his family. She's part of his group of friends. That's quite different from when he dated Giada... Like, Canada? He brought his whole family and his family close friends there to support him? And she was having a spa day with her sister in Monaco? And he's always like "now I'll spent some time with my friends and girlfriend. Then I will spent some time with my family". They've been dating for three years now, it's just odd how she's not that close to his brothers and mom.
Besides that she's just very weird on social media. I don't even care that much about her ads on race weekends. The thing that irks me the most is her timing when it comes to post things about their relationship. Bad weekend? She's posting pics with him two days later, because she's such a supportive girlfriend. Gossip about him out and about in some party? Two days later she's posting pics with him, because look how in love they're with each other... I laughed when she posted that shirtless pic of him after the whole mess in Monaco. It's exhausting to watch really. I don't know what she's trying to prove with that. I guess I just don't understand why she needs to show people that their relationship is fine...
And let me share some tea about Giada. I get that many people try to turn her into a victim, and we'll never know for sure wtf happened between her, Charles and Charlotte (although Giada did say that there was no cheating involved in the whole situation), but after Charles and Charlotte were official, Giada started liking a lot of shit on Instagram and so did her family. Her cousin was shady af, basically said that all girlfriends of F1 drivers are sluts (kinda ironic if you ask me, cause hey, Giada dated a F1 driver??). It was not pretty, especially because they were slut-shaming the other girlies a lot, and of course that made people feel brave enough to harass Charlotte and Charles. After that most of the wags that used to follow her decided to unfollow her. I don't think many people know that, since it was mainly a thing in the italian side. But yeah, people try to make her look so classy and yada yada, but she's really not. That girl suffers from a somewhat embarrassing internalized misogyny...
ohhh the whole kettle of tea is here! 🫖🫖 thank you for the Giada insight I did not know that & that’s pretty unfortunate it go to that level after the break up, things always get messy when you’re heartbroken and start to post online. Charles’ birth chart break down and is really starting to make sense after all this lol!!! && i very very much agree with the relationship display on insta its very odd lol &&& the fuckin “yesssss babbbbyyyy” posts still make me laugh when I think of them lol, real talk tho i hope they are happy together in the long run
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legion-gringo · 2 years
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// this is heavy and personal //
It's supposed to be my 4 year HRTiversary but something happened.
A few months back I stopped feeling as much like a girl, then I started taking T as well as E, then I stopped taking E, then I stopped wearing women's clothing then I stopped wearing makeup. I might go back to E/being a girl at a later date, but I might not.
Now I wear suits, use the men's toilets, go by he him pronouns, and I'm happy - or as happy as I was as a girl. I still feel trans, but I'm not really transfeminine at this point, and I'm clearly not transmasc either.
I don't think i count as transmisogyny affected, even. I just seem to most people like an effeminate gay man (they're not wrong, but it's more complicated than that, same as it is for anyone really)
I don't have any regrets - I look at my tits (small and perky) and I think they're neat. I like that estrogen gave me a softness and a connection to my emotions I had previously been lacking, but I like that T has given me the composure and poise to push back the tears and communicate to ppl how I feel instead of just falling apart and letting people see how I feel from that.
It's hard though. Am I detrans? Not really but I do make some people uncomfortable, I suspect. Or a joke that I could have made without a second thought suddenly becomes a minefield of "is he allowed to say that"
There's another detrans grifter in the media. This one is complaining that testosterone made him bald so he "may as well" keep being a guy even tho he regrets it. Fuckin idiot. Men go bald. If I go bald I think I'm gonna cry, (only I can't cry now.) Does this make me a hypocrite?
What's a HRTiversary anyway - it's a big deal for some, for others it's just "the earliest date possible they could get on hrt."
There's other people like me, irl and online, doing similar things - retransitioning rather than detransitioning - but I don't really feel that connected to them either. I know people desperate to tell you that they're a boy (but a girl really!!!!) and try and look as clocky as possible - this reads as weirdly transphobic against the tboys. There's a way to honor and appreciate trans beauty without fetishising clockiness, that's chasershit to me.
Idk where I'm going with this tbh. I don't really understand it but I am starting to resent the constant attempt by other trans people to categorise me into something safe, or at least nameable .
"so have you detransitioned"
"no"
"so you're still a girl"
"kind of but not really"
"are you a man?"
"yeah I guess"
"oh you're nonbinary"
"no"
"oh! You're genderfluid"
"idk no I don't think so"
"oh you're just nonbinary but you don't like the word"
"..."
It's funny as well how many people are completely in denial about what's happening in the same way that my family/coworkers were at the start of my first transition.
*turns up to a party in a suit*
"gurl you look amazing"
*uses men's bathrooms*
"wow she's so fierce"
*gently corrects misgendering*
"Hun you are so butch"
What I've really learned as well is how fuckin godawful girlie culture is from the outside. You go to a trans night in London and everyone's making the same tired jokes about praise kinks and headpats, catgirls and thighhighs, whether they're 19 or 50. Some stranger tried to pat my head at a punk gig my girlfriend was playing back in april and I told her to go fuck herself. If I tried that now I'd probably get booted from the community. Fuckin hell we got Imogen Binnie, Lou Sullivan, yknow there's actual cool parts of The Culture that you can engage with/riff on (like Jackie Ess did with Darryl and its links to Nevada) - why are we content with memes about sword lesbians and blahaj?
I'm part of the problem, too! I did that stupid "gifted boy to burnout girl with a praise kink" post from last year that I've seen go around twitter, Facebook, insta, tiktok, I'm feeding the cultural rot.
I fully expect to lose followers over this, cause it's upsetting to hear. i avoided detransitioners (still not a word i identify with) like the plague ever since i transitioned, not just cause they're normally creepy and weird but i think i genuinely believed that they'd somehow social-contagion me (Torrey Peters is occasionally capable of making a salient point, turns out!)
Anyway whatever. Burn it all down. Love and solidarity to my trans siblings, if this is creepy and weird to hear, catch you on the flipside in like 6 months when i get bored of this and go back to being a girlie
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crimsun-n-clover · 1 year
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today was so interesting
at one am i’m helping a friend who has never had to talk someone out of suicide before and then i’m out cold
i wake up like I WANNA DIE NOTHING MATTERS
and then i got gas station nachos and a monster energy so like i was fine
and then i got home just in time for therapy which was really just me going “i accidentally missed my meds for three days and it’s made me suicidal and VERY aggressive i hate everyone” “WTF STEVIE” “I KNOW I KNOW ILL TAKE MY FUCKING MEDS”
and then i was worn out to hell and back so i was like let me stop by the craft store and pick up some stuff i need to continue my project
and while i was there i also got some stuff to use as dnd miniatures because the players need something to represent themselves with. the pair of bards both got little geese, as they are silly geese. very funny, i know. i also got a star wars pattern for my next project.
i go to check out and the chick at the register is FINEEE.
she liked my battle jacket, laughed at my jokes, was perfectly fine with my nervous honesty (“this is for dnd. it’s so hard being the coolest dm in the world. my players don’t love me enough” “is it worth it” “oh definitely there’s nothing better”), we complimented each other and talked for a minute. she said she wanted to keep talking because it’s hard to find someone else who just clicks with her.
i gave her my insta @ bc like i have that now might as well warn her what my personality is like
she just followed me and her bio says 18+ and i’m 17 :/ so i have no chance with her romantically and wasted my rizz (autistic rambling) </3
and just now i was in the car blasting sabbath and went HOLY FUCK THE MOON IS BIG AND ORANGE and glanced at it a few more times on the way home
and at one point i saw something flaming coming down, and it looked too bright to be a shooting star. it looked like a rocket landing. i didn’t hear the sonic boom though and there are no launches scheduled for today. so maybe i just got the craziest shooting star ever. who fuckin knows man
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mccoys-killer-queen · 2 years
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Seeing Faster Pussycat/LA Guns/Tom Keifer Band in concert:
if you follow me on insta you know a LOT happened last night xD this is going to be a VERY long post I can just feel it. I gotta try and sort out my copious thoughts mixed in with all the events so we're gonna TRY doing this in chronological order:
*deep breath*
when I first got there 5 hours before showtime, I went inside to use the bathroom. Now this venue is relatively small, and they have a small restaurant upstairs (those are the bathrooms you have to use prior to doors). I went upstairs and I heard Tom soundchecking from there :o he was playing Don't Know What You Got (Til It's Gone) and it was making the room shake it was the greatest piss of my life
I was the 4th person in the general admission line and I was with these two guys, one of whom had a RAD hysteria tat and said I have Joe's (pyromania) haircut
this guy offered me free beer
one of these three people in front of me ended up being my "concert friend" (I'll refer to her as Robin) bc we talked so much and she's old enough to be my mom
Robin and the other two guys in front of me had VIP packages to see LA Guns' soundcheck so they left and I was first in line until only Robin came back
Slim Tender actually passed in front of us in line hours before doors opened but none of us really realized it was him
I got my photo pass and got in like 10 minutes before everyone else!! I ended up being front row at the barrier to stage left
Faster Pussycat's rhythm guitarist (Ronnie Simmons) gave me big Steve Clark vibes bc he's a skinny white boy with long hair who looked shy, did air split jumps while playing, and just in general felt Steve-y
Sam Bam is incredible and adorable just saying and FP sounded awesome like Taime sounds exactly the same as he did 30 years ago
They stole the fucking show I swear to god the night peaked with them imo
Phil was wearing a mesh tank top with a bandana and feathered hat he looked like a granddad trying too hard to be a pirate and the curly ass mustache didn't help
Phil looks like his 80s self is pretending to be old
Due to personal reasons I am now in love with Phil Lewis
he was dancing like a total dork it drove me insane I couldn't get enough
His speaking voice is so high???
Phil grabbed his left tiddy like twice during their set
guys I SWEAR I saw a tramp stamp on him with my own two eyes I SWEAR I saw it you gotta believe me
Phil pointing at my camera during the first fucking song and me not getting the shot ;-;
Phil replacing random lyrics with the words "Tracii Guns" (i.e. "nowww Tracii's breaking hearts in heaven")
Phil giving a speech about Tracii during Jayne and saying how he's been his best friend for over 30 years and how "no man has ever touched me like he has-"
Tracii: *pokes Phil's shoulder* C:
Phil: "-and I LIKED it"
Tracii: *pokes Phil's boob* C:
Ace apparently pulled his groin early in their set (I was on Tracii's side so I didn't see- I will elaborate more on this later)
since I was on the side of the stage with the exit, that meant the drinks were there too, so every time Tracii went into a solo, Phil would come over and would almost always interact with me and the teenage girls next to me
at one point I took advantage of this and I blew a kiss at him when he was in front of me, to which he went :O and slapped his cheek to show he "caught" it and I went fuckin ballistic
at the end of their set Phil grabbed one of Tracii's picks and crouched down in front of me and threw it to me (I CAUGHT IT)
was anyone going to tell me Tracii Guns is a dilf or-
I literally thought Johnny Martin was a woman the whole time- like I KNEW it had to be him but I was seriously second guessing myself because he just- he was in glasses and a scarf and a hat and he haS A VERY FEMININE BUILD
Phil saying he's happy to be "on top of this beautiful mountain again" (the venue is on top of a mountain) and it's so weird bc like ? this is just where I live? and he likes it? HE likes it??
apparently Phil complemented a girl on her tits during the show (she was showing a lot on purpose and bouncing a lot and he just kinda motioned bouncing tits with his hands and nodded- I'M TOLD- I didn't actually see any of this. Robin told me afterwards)
LA Guns stole the show I stg I had no idea how Tom was gonna top that it was the peak of my night
Tom was ethereal just saying he sounds T H E E. S A M E. HAS HE DID ON NIGHT SONGS.
Tom's knee high boots and tight pants hell yeah
Tom wasn't really playing with the crowd that much but he did slightly acknowledge me during Shelter Me by just kinda looking at me and singing
He played much more Cinderella than I expected I was LIVING
Tom saying we (him and the crowd) are basically related bc we're all from PA. So from this point onward I am related to Tom Keifer I didn't make these rules he said it himself
Tom during Nobody's Fool going "I SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM- *falls to his knees*" a capella, letting his voice absolutely shudder the whole building, and holding it forever and everyone going nuts what a fucking god
Tom betting we knew every word to Nobody's Fool which we DID
his playing just seems so smooth????
his wife Savannah being on backing vocals and them doing Don't Know What You Got (Til It's Gone) together was really cute ;-;
Before they did that Tom told us to "show him some Pennsylvania stars" (aka put our lights on during the song)
the stars actually coming out in the sky after the show ;-; <3
they did Long Cold Winter as an encore and I was dissociating thee whole fucking time so badly because I was THAT exhausted- like I didn't even recognize the song until the very end I was that out of it. I didn't have anything to drink- alcohol or not.
someone was holding a very good drawing they did of him and his wife the whole time and at the end of the set one of the roadies took it from her and brought it back, and came out a minute later asking if she wanted it back, to which she said they could keep it. SO yeah Tom and Savannah kept a fan's drawing of them ;-; <3
Tom's hair is still godly
I also never knew he has a nice butt 👌 and legs
When Tom was recording the video of the crowd he put on his insta he was like "hold on I gotta I make sure I recorded bc the other night I fucked it up and didn't get it..."
"...I GOT IT" *audience cheers bc yay Tom knows how to use a phone good for u honey we're proud*
Okay that's JUST from the show. Now here's where it gets crazy.
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that-kid89 · 1 month
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03.26.2024
numb the pain. <- song of my day
but like a happy day for me? tbh definitely ended on more of high note, a spark of hope after being unemployed for a week now.
i feel like i could write 15 sentences at the same time right now.
madness, insanity, sickness, disturbed, panic.
ecstasy, highs, journeys, toys, wanderlust.
modest, numb, emotional, passive.
literally just writing random words that pop in my head. feels like gonzo clarity. check me if it's narcissism. too much pride.
daily average for screen time on my iphone is 3.5 hours for the 3 days this week.
read and skimmed all the back to my opener post. i initially felt bad, sad, and let down. reading my thoughts of love for heather, but more so my feelings towards my self. talking to myself in this blog, scolding him nearly. listing my needs and realizing where i sit that i made not one attempt at getting those things. were they really needs or just fantasies though.
kinda feelin like fuck all that shit. maybe its the beers and esteem boost from my first hearing back on one the applications i sent out in the last 7 days.
whats always wild to me, is how i can drift off into my dreams, when i'm awake. the rare night where i just daydream and not even sleep. its so crazy to me, and i dont recall talking about that seriously with someone. wish i did with heather. but also the stimulation i get from twist my hair into knots. sometimes it hurts so good. but i get mad when it's really knotted, and i gotta rip it apart, usually with hair being ripped out. insane.
talking about today now. woke up late, but earlier than i thought after falling asleep around 3am. tried not to drink but caved last night and had a few swigs of casamigos followed by a lovely beer. technically counts as today! well i suppose only the events beginning at 12:00am. fuck it, yeah so i woke up, and funny i keep checking my phone for all kinds of notifications. first thing i read was a message from christian on insta about the boat hitting the bridge in baltimore. this is recent to the mass shooting in russia, god damn dark news. still seeing a bunch of posts about necann. i'm glad i've been to events, but felt i had no place going this year. i don't think i've been when working in the industry, but definitely when i was younger. took a much needed shower today and trimmed up. then went to whole foods and petco. nearly bought the exact same things from each store, from i got yesterday. took the amg out though, and always get excited to drive that beast. let it warm up right, cold start was rowdy as always. deffs got some good pops and bangs. fuckin car is so quick too, and so exhilarating. however i did get this great beer as well called "termination". spent a lot of time looking at crafties to get, and ultimately chose this one although it being a triple ipa. 10% abv and damnnnn smooth. i'm on my second one tonight. sipping out the duvel big round chalice that i got from an xmas yankee swap one year. but anyway, getting a hit back on an application from only yesterday was an esteem boost. seems like a company tha could really use my help, and that they'll have a lot of work cut out for me. falling in love a bit quick as i do my homework on them. keeping in my mind that its only a teams meeting planned for next week but was still the first i've heard in a week. this last week has felt like freedom. but also emptiness. i do miss my last job, and still trying to get a good understanding of how it ended. but it feels a lot like the lat time heather and i broke up. i had reached my breaking points with them months ago, and never recovered. but they cite a recent mishandling of a heroin related customer incident at the store, which i can see how they perceive as mishandling, but damn it really felt good to get fired. i just walked out they of my term. instant relief, not much to finalize with them either. anyway
running out of steam with my writing. im glad i did. btw, song of the day came from nowhere. i somehow had the song stuck in the head, and i searched a rough idea of the lyrics with xxxtentacion and nailed it. i've had it on repeat all day since. had it on loop in the car, and had it on loop during this whole session. a classic way i've listened to my favorite x songs, a repetitive lyric design with just guitar chords or sample. feel like he's here with me, just sharing his emotions with me.
came to love his music after a distinct memory of mine, being when i shurgged off his death as i read him to be an abuser in his relationship. came to realize he had remorse in his actions, and was on a mission that i never would found out myself. this girl told me he was one of her favs, and that's when i got into him. his music still took time to grow on me, but ive now listened to most of his music, and i think all of his albums, all the way through, multiple times. 17, ?, skins, bad vibes forever, and some of his early stuff from mixtapes and singles. but yeah, quite a learning and growing experience. ending sentences on the 4 beat, or like a significant strum or beat, just feels so good.
rest in peace jahseh.
thank you for helping me open up my mind in so many ways.
here's to me, and the life i've lived and will continue to complete. excited to see where life takes me. for now, a nostalgic night of no responsibilities, weed and beer.
signing off.
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