#got set on fire again (arson edition)

[duckduck-buck]

The war against buck’s loft will always be so funny to me like damn what did it do to y’all😭

#911 abc #evan buckley #the loft #and the thousands way you guys have destroyed it #so far it’s been on fire #crumbled to the ground because of an earthquake #got flooded #got set on fire again (arson edition) #leave that little loft alone

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 21: It'll Be A Cold Day Season 1, Episode 22: The Deadly Flowers

Episode 21: It'll Be A Cold Day

And we open with Lotor evil laughing, great start

Oh, so this is the continuation of the episode where Romelle got kidnapped, she's in a dungeon with other women now Lotor tried to force a kiss on her after he compared her to Allura again, disgustang good for Romelle, she managed to slap him in the face

With the editing it doesn't really look it but Lotor knocked out Romelle and carried her away only for her to return by herself and collapse before she starts crying, something very nonconsensual happened to her,, poor girl

While knocked out she thinks back to when she was captured, Bandor officially became crown prince after their father went insane apparently, pollux is a patriarchy which is good to know for world building The other ladies in the cell are helping her out and making an escape plan, something tells me this is going to go wrong

Oh, shit they did it, similar to how the boys did except they LITERALLY COMMITTED ARSON BEFORE STEALING A SHIP, girlbosses every single one of them

Lotor's already on their tail, somehow his attacks set the ship on fire which you'd think couldn't happen because there's no oxygen in space but ok also they're crash landing on Neeve? I didn't catch the planet name, but Romelle sent out a distress call which obvs the team and Bandor picked up

The team and Bandor meet up, apparently they formed voltron but I think it's so funny that they ended up deactivating formation anyway, what a waste of energy lol

Allura finds one of her mice down her uniform as they're all out scouting in the snow, then proceeds to put them back into her collar, so they can keep warm why do I feel like lance should be saying that he wishes he was that mouse? Maybe it was in golion because he definitely doesn't say it here

Bandor and the team run into the ship but find it empty, then Allura notices a scrap of fabric and almost gets attacked by haggar disguised as romelle after the door closes behind her this is like the second time Haggar's disguised herself as allura's family, does she have beef with them specifically? The mouse saves her though which gives the boys time to get to the princess

Man they make Pidge such an acrobat in this show lol, he flips in the air and PUNTS HAGGARS CAT AWAY AFTER IT STARTS CHASING THE MOUSE SDOVINSDV

obvs haggar escapes but not without bandor, the team chases after her straight into the worst case scenario, being on lower ground Lotor demands Allura to be traded for her cousins, of course nobody trusts that he'd actually follow through

Allura starts heading towards lotor as the pollux siblings head towards the lions, but Keith is the leader for a reason, and he hides his uniform in snow before swapping places with allura so lotor still thinks its her also lotor unleashes a robeast when he gets close enough

Lotor v Keith again, except the siblings come back and want to attack lotor themselves for being a POS Romelle gets knocked out and kidnapped again,,, girl gets no break

Voltron forms, robeast is taken out, and now onto lotor apparently romelle gets set free? It's very vague because they catch lotor and tell him they'll tail him to pollux to make sure, but then they're back on arus? We'll see ig

/episode end

Episode 22: The Deadly Flowers I've seen so many screenshots of this episode onvsdo

Some random seed pods fell from space and sprouted on arus in abundance, immediately that's a sign that things aren't right

The mice pick some for Allura though, and they end up dancing together for a bit, how cute Immediately cut to doom, and we find out the flowers are haggars doing, which are supposed to make anyone who smells them sick

Coran calls an emergency meeting because the flowers are rapid response ig, people are blacking out left and right so Allura wants them treated at the castle by their doctor Dr Gorma The flowers of planet Lyra apparently are medicinal and should help

Lance has literally started a wildfire apparently because Coran told him to burn the flowers that started blooming maybe not the best idea guys

Allura has an idea to get past the magnetic field that surrounds planet Lyra but obvs she smelled the flowers so now she's out cold too just when we were getting somewhere too >:/

Lance ditches the team to go to planet Lyra by himeself in blue hey his suit finally matches lol

"I know, and I've got special equipment! Intelligence, charm, personality, good looks, and a rabbit's foot" *(winks)* -Lance ICONIC

adorable

aaand the bad guys are on planet too, of course, except they think it's allura and go off to try and capture blue

Lance finds this weird divot filled with honey like liquid AND FUCKING TASTES IT, MCCLAIN YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS also the natives started attacking, this is why you don't stick your fingers into everything Lance

ooh pretty girly to act as diplomat, apparently the roses are worshiped and not given away so easily so Lance gets grabbed and taken to the king for that permission only for a doom cruiser to pick him to go there, yeah definitely not good

lotor bitch slaps lance for not being allura, luckily for lance he's near something sharp, so he starts cutting his ropes without being noticed Farla is the girls name and she doesn't seem to understand that lance and lotor know each other so she asks to give him flowers which Lotor is glad to hear because voltron is out of commission atm

Lance is loose and starts a sword fight with lotor before his sword gets stuck on the highly magnetic rocks on the wall of this cliff they're on, Lotor shoves him off into the river below where apparently nobody has ever survived falling from obvs that's about to change real soon

Lotor wants the roses for allura himself and the king of lyra tries to extort him but lotor fucking KILLS THE GUY, LIKE STRAIGHT UP THE TEAM WHO EDITED THIS EPISODE STOPS THE SCENE AND FADES IT TO RED FOR CENSORSHIP HOLY CRAP

Lance lived and is back in blue, hooray! Except Lotor's crew is destroying all the flowers except for what they needed, Farla tries to stop them but she got smacked into the water before Blue came out to crush the troops

Falra pulls through and before she faints (dies) she gives Lance a bag of seeds for him to plant on arus, but he promises to plant them on Lyra instead he's such a fucking sweetie i love him omg

As the other boys try to fight the robeast lotor sent out on Arus, Allura stumbles her way to castle control and flies red since lance and blue are still gone man this girl has flown 3/5 lions already, girlboss

lance returns, voltron is formed, robeast destroyed, and lotor runs off, except dad calls and chews him out for destroying the flowers though lotor gets out of it by saying he's brought enough flowers to keep making the meds he apparently needs to stay alive for a long time, call ends and lotor calls zarkon stupid dude i feel like he'd know if his meds were missing/short how was that a good plan

Special reward for a special guy

Pidge tries to get a kiss too but gets smooched by a mouse instead, maybe that's where vld got the idea in the first place sovsdv

Lance still remembers planet Lyra, and he rushes off to plant the rest of the flowers with Allura coming along too

/episode end

#voltron #voltron defender of the universe #voltron dotu #80s voltron #let's rewind! #toast talks #episode 22 was so cute #im glad they wrote lance into such a caring guy

[sungbeam]

Please write 6, 15 and 22 prompts with Doyoung 😭

[𝟏𝟐:𝟎𝟑𝐀𝐌] — bad boy!doyoung x reader

1.3k words, meet cute jail cell edition lmao, cursing, unrealistic situation (cries)

a/n: tbh i was so stumped by this prompt, but i'm actually kinda pleased w how it turned out :D

You never thought you would ever finally meet your school's ice prince Kim Doyoung while in a jail cell. It was cold, really, and when you had been taken into custody, you hadn't gotten the chance to grab the jacket from your car. Then again, you had little chance to do anything when they had up and cuffed you as if you being there at the wrong place and the wrong time was the evidence that you were the one who set fire to the front office building. 

No, you had an idea of who it had been. And he had just been shoved into your cell with you. (It was a small town with a small station. You were just realizing how small it was.)

"Don't go conspiring, you two," mocked the officer, before walking away, ring of keys spinning around his index finger. 

Doyoung had a jacket. 

It was that cursed black bomber jacket that half the girls in your class always dreamed about wearing around their shoulders. They always fantasized about him claiming them with that jacket. You always scoffed at the idea. They all had the money to buy the same exact jacket, but always lacked the brains to think about buying it. 

Doyoung let out a brusque sigh, raking a hand through his dark hair. He leaned against the front wall of the cell and now faced you, who sat on the edge of one of the two cots. "Hey."

You didn't say anything. You were here because of him, after all. 

He must have read your mind or something, because he said, "I know what you're thinking—"

"Oh, do you now?"

The man rolled his eyes, hard. You hoped it made his head hurt. "Mature, Yn. Very mature."

You almost started. How did he know your name?

"Yes, Yn. I know your name."

Was he reading your mind?!

"No, your face is just very readable." He sent you a thin smile. "I am fully convinced you never graduated Kindergarten now. Are you always like this to people you just meet?"

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes. "Fuck off. I have every right since I'm in this damn place because of you." You didn't even have an alibi to get yourself out, or bail money. You were literally stuck here. Your idiotic older sister wouldn't even care you were in here either. Full on screwed, was what you were. 

Doyoung held out his hands as if placating a wild animal. "Yn, I swear to god I didn't set the office on fire. For once, I'm not the bad guy here." 

The two of you held and maintained a tense eye contact from across the cell from one another. Doyoung was always causing some sort of trouble with his friends. He wasn't labeled as a bad boy, per se. Rather, people dubbed him an ice prince for lacking empathy or compassion for anyone or anything outside his inner circle. You'd seen the wreckage he had made of the chem lab or the mess this freshman's bike became after Doyoung had raged through the bike racks after school. You despised him for being so—cruel. 

You had your fair share of trouble, but you liked to think it was because you were misunderstood. Yes, spray painting your art onto alley walls was a misunderstanding, clearly. But you would never go as far as arson. Fire was cool, but not that cool. (No pun intended.)

He breathed out again. "Someone's trying to frame us." He paused, reconsidering, "Well, someone's trying to frame me. You're just the poor sap who got sucked into this."

You deadpanned. Did you have to share a cell with this idiot? "Thanks. That makes me feel so much better."

"I didn't mean it like that," he stammered. "Yn, I'm just trying to put it how it is." Doyoung pushed off the cell wall and began walking across the cell toward you, and there was a sudden and very real spike of anxiety in your chest. 

"Don't come near me."

At your words, Doyoung immediately stopped.

You cleared your throat, adding, "Take another step, and I can't be held responsible for my next actions."

Instead of backing up as you intended for him to react, he instead cocked his head at you. A sly sort of smile slipped onto his lips as he crossed his arms over his chest. "And what might that action be, love?"

It suddenly occurred to you that the idiot was you at this moment. Your heart rate leapt. "No—no, that is not what I meant! I meant that I'd kick you in the balls or something if you came any closer!" You tried amending your words, but the damage had been done and your face was as hot as the flames that had devoured the office building. 

Doyoung grinned, and you had the sudden thought that it looked like a bunny. He chuckled. "Sure. Okay, I believe you."

"It's true!" You stammered. 

"Mhm," he hummed, sitting down on the edge of the other cot. "I said I believed you, didn't I?"

You scowled, and in a desperate attempt to save your dignity, you said, "Look, I'm this close to actually giving you a shiner, dude. I can't even go home because of you, and now this is on my record, and—"

Doyoung's eyebrows furrowed. "Wait, wait. Why can't you go home? You did call someone to bail you out, right?"

You scoffed. "Yes, because my older sister cares so much about me that she would interrupt her beauty sleep at midnight to come bail me out for alleged arson." You shook your head, bitterness rising in your chest. "I don't have the luxury."

Another tense silence fell over your shared cell as Doyoung considered you. You couldn't meet his gaze; you hated the pity in his eyes that was so uncharacteristic of him, but somehow fit his pretty, dark eyes so well. His face was built to express, but something prevented him from being emotional all the time. 

It was maybe a couple moments later that Doyoung broke the silence. He scratched the back of his neck. "For what it's worth," he murmured softly, "I'm sorry you got roped into this, Yn."

You swallowed. "It's okay."

He looked as if he wanted to say something else, but the officer from before was coming back with the ring of keys jingling from his fingers. "Looks like you're going home, Kim." He yanked the cell door open, and Doyoung stood up to exit. 

You tried not to be bitter. Or to feel sad about the prospect of being abandoned again. 

Doyoung glanced back over his shoulder at you. "Hang in there, Yn." He followed the officer back down the hallway, away from you and your sight. 

So… you were alone now, huh?

With a sigh, you settled onto the cot and curled in on yourself in an attempt to get comfortable and to stay warm. No jacket, no company, no sympathy. At least you wouldn't have to go to school tomorrow—

"Aw, love, you look so cute like that." The cell door was yanked open and you shot upward. Doyoung grinned at you from beside the officer. He beckoned you out with a wide grin. "Come on; let's get you out of there."

You blinked. Were you still asleep?

"No, you're not still asleep."

You glared, standing up and walking toward him. "What the hell are you doing back here?"

Doyoung ruffled your hair with his hand and you whacked it away with what you thought was a frown, but looked more like a pout. Man, did you always look this adorable? He couldn't understand why he was seeing you differently. Maybe there was something wrong with that jail cell. "I got my friend to bail you out, too. We'll give you a ride home."

When you balked a little, Doyoung examined your face, and suddenly understood. "Or you can crash at my place. You can be cute and curl up with me." He wagged his eyebrows at you, and you couldn't help but think how this was probably the most emotion anyone outside his inner circle had ever seen from him. 

You rolled your eyes, punching him in the bicep. (Shit, he had buff arms—) "Fuck off, Doyoung."

He grinned, though its edges were softer. "You first."

nct m.list

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join my permanent nct taglist here

#nct x reader #doyoung x reader #doyoung oneshot #nct oneshot #nct #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 oneshot #doyoung fluff #nct fluff #nct timestamps #doyoung timestamps

[coolmaycroft]

So why is Martin scorsese so insistent Goncharov doesn't exist?

So, if you try and search it you'll find it's not listed in his filmography nor are there records of it existing.

The reason is because Scorsese has gone above and beyond to bury the existence of this film. We don't know if it's about shame, or hatred but he really does not like acknowledging this movie's existence.

One of the things that helped is that the movie was never officially released. The story of the troubled production is no secret; the writer kept going back and forth adding to Katya's chacarcter, The crew almost got arrested when they set fire to the farm for the arson scene, and tall the gay subtext got the producers nervous. The making of this movie was a disaster. Socrsese, in one of the few times he's spoken of it called it "An exercise in trying to function with less than 4 hours of sleep". Probably because it was all resting on his shoulders and at the time he was still a young director and they way the production was going he was gonna go down in history like the guy that released the worst movie in history.

So the studio (we don't know which because this movies is SUCH an embarrassment that no one will come out and say they greenlit it) decided to write it off as a loss, and shelved it some godforsaken studio warehouse probably next to the ark of the convenant.

Then, years pass, Scorsese becomes one of the biggest names in hollywood and at some point they're cleaning the warehouse where the movie is and they see it's Martin scorsese's lost movie or some shit, so they plan to give it a VHS collector's edition release. Word gets out to him and legend has it he stormed the place and threatened to rain legal hell on the studio if they so much as make one single cassette of that cursed film.

So the studio backs off and cancells the VHS release but by the time this happened there were a few tapes produced. And you bet film bros aren't gonna let this movie die in obscurity, so they start to pass the VHS around illegaly, making sure Scorsese doesn't know about it because so-help-you god if he finds out there's people that have watched this movie.

And so, years go by, the movie becoming a sort unicorn of the movie industry: everyone knew about it but few had actually seen it. At some point the VHS gets converted to celluloid (and note that this is still prolly the 80's we're talking about) and people start to make secret showings in college theaters and little film festivals of Martin Scorsese's secret movie. so a few people DO get to see it in a theater. But again, the rumor says that people that were showing the movie would get a letter in the mail fron Scorsese himself saying he'd sue them to bankrupcy if they dared to continue showing Goncharov.

So no one has the balls to show it in an ACTUAL movie theater because by this time Scorsese knew the movie was out and that people had seen it but it's not like the studio was gonna go ahead and release it in mainstream theaters and risk the fury of visionary director Martin Scrosese. So it becomes this urban legend up until the internet era.

By now you can find the movie in torrent sites but if you pay close attention you'll see that most of what gets pirated is the mainstream: the latest shows and movies. You can find all the obscure movies you want but again, those don't really make a lot of noise. And for all the symbolism and atmosphere the movie has it's just really not that good, we might even say it's kinda mediocre. Reason why it never really stood out in the last 15 years or so.

And now Tumblr, being tumblr is having a field day because they just discovered this lost queer film by one of the biggest directors of all time.

#goncharov #martin scorsese #old films #urban legends #movies #mafia #hollywood #katya goncharov #lost media

[blue-writes-things]

“Mudblood”

Sirius Black x Reader | Fluff / Angst

“For once you didn’t want to set the place on fire, you wanted to set yourself on fire”

| Masterlists | Words: 2225 Warnings: Shitty parents, Walburga and Orion’s A+ parenting, swearing, feminine pronouns   A/N: I still don’t know what pov this is, and also world ‘law’ inconsistencies. Edited Blue Moon Archives

Feedback is always appreciated! - Blue

---------------------------------------------

You’re standing in a crowd of people talking shit about each other or blood purity, blah, blah, blah. Although you’d rather be listening to the other people at this ‘Pureblood only’ party that your mother dragged you to, then listen to her talk at you, ripping at everything about you because the ribbon you tied around the waist of your dress was red and gold.

You wanted to have something with you that didn’t make you want to set everything on fire, or maybe you could borrow some of those fireworks James and Remus made, or - you got snapped out of your thoughts of ‘justified arson’ by someone yelling “Sirius Orion Black!”

Oh shit- that was one of the biggest reasons you hated going to these things since Sirius had ‘family’ in this little clique, he was dragged to them. You always made a big effort to not let anyone at Hogwarts know you were related to these monsters.

Everyone but a few Slytherins knew you as a muggleborn, Including your friends, you knew you should tell them the truth, but something always stopped you.

So you spent these parties hiding from Sirius, seeing him in a room meant you went to another, or even just went to the bathroom for the whole event so there was no way he would see you. You wanted to tell him, so these things wouldn’t be as bad, so you’d have someone to talk to, but you thought that if he, or any of your friends found out, you’d be dropped as their friend and that was the worst thing that could happen to you.

As Sirius and his mother walked into the room, you went to the other room, but unlucky, Sirius saw the little bit of red in the sea of green, going after you, knowing that no one who went to these things would ever wear red. But he missed you by a second. A seconded that, to you, saved your friendship. You and Sirius ended up playing a game of hide and seek for the rest of the night before you finally got to leave.

The next morning when you walked into the common room to see James, Remus and Lily sitting on the floor watching Sirius pace in front of the fireplace talking faster than a snitch flies.

“Who broke Sirius?” you raise your eyebrows sitting next to Remus on the floor.

“He had to go to one of those pureblood parties and a girl was there” he sighs, you stiffen, knowing it was you

“It’s not about her being a girl! It was that she had a red ribbon!” he yelled, before dramatically falling to lay on the floor.

“What’s it matter that she was wearing a red ribbon?” Lily asked leaning on James, making him turn as red as the couch “No don’t make him talk again!” Remus half laughs, but was also being a bit serious (no pun intended)

“Because! If you were listening, no one at these parties wears red, it’s like poison to them, meaning this girl must have known that and chose to wear it, meaning she doesn’t think like them!”

“Sounds like your jumping to conclusions Pads,” James says, still red “No! Cause she also was basically running from me all night

“She sounds smart” You smirk “Either way, why does it matter?” “It means that there’s someone there who is also a Gryffindor, you guys wouldn’t understand…” He trails off, you wanted so badly to hug him and say, I know exactly what you’re saying

“Guys, I’m hungry, can we go to breakfast now?” Remus whines standing up, we all nod and agree getting up

“Last person there has to do Sirius’s homework!” you half yell making everyone run out of the room down to the great hall, once everyone gets there, Lily ends up coming last, meaning James will end up doing Sirius’s homework.

“How do you always get here first?” Remus says panting (pun 100% intended)

“Cause I remember all the shortcuts here” he grins

“I think that’s cheating and Sirius is disqualified meaning he has to do his own homework, all in favour?” Lily glaring but smiling at Sirius as everyone, but him raises their hand “You’re all sore losers!” everyone laughed sitting down and starting to eat.

About halfway through breakfast a bunch of owls come in, dropping everyone letters. You don’t pay too much attention to it, you rarely get letters, and when you do, it’s just your parents shouting insults at you. So when a letter drops in front of you it made you flinch. Noting it’s in a green envelope you shove it in your pocket. Sirius frowns but doesn’t say anything.

The group go about the day, having classes, watching James try to flirt with Lily, Sirius trying to flirt with you, the norm.

But after charms with Slytherin, you and the boys had planned a prank for Lucius Malfoy, he was bullying a first-year Hufflepuff, no one messes with Hufflepuffs and gets away with it.

Right as it was about to go into action, he got out of the way of the red dye about to fall on his plantation blonde hair. The group all groan, seeing Severus smirk as he leaves the classroom, you guess he told Malfoy about it but the looks of things.

“Watch it ‘mudblood’.” he smirks, putting ‘mudblood’ in quotations, he was one of the people who knew about you not being muggleborn, he said he wouldn’t tell anyone, but now he uses it as blackmail on you.

“Don’t call her that!” Sirius yells, going to pull out his wand, to hex him into next year.

“Y/N, I suggest you control your friend there, he does anything to me, I’ll tell your little group about your dearest mother and father. To be honest, I’m surprised you’ve kept your mouth shut about it for so long” he chuckles as he turns to leave, Sirius fuming about to go after him again

“Sirius. Just, leave it” you mumble

“Why! He can’t say that to you!”

“Cause we’d get detention and I have a…thing…I need to go to this weekend, and if I miss it, I’ll get bea- in big trouble….I’m going to the library I have homework to do, I’ll see you guys later” you rush off

“She’s not going to the library” Remus utters, both James and Sirius look at him funny “You can’t get to library from that way”

“I’ll catch up with you guys,” Sirius says going off after you

“Wanna go get lunch Moony?” James says after Sirius runs off

“Sounds good”

***

You reach the black lake, taking out the letter your parents sent you this morning, ripping it open and reading it. It was the normal ‘disgrace, worthless, traitor’ it hurts more than you expected, plus a reminder at the bottom that you’re going to another gathering this weekend.

You drop the letter next to you, hugging your knees to your chest, tears start falling. You sat like that for almost an hour before someone sat next to you

“Been lookin’ for you everywhere love” you look up and It’s Sirius “What’s wrong?”

He frowns looking down seeing the letter, and a green envelope, just like the ones his family sends him, he goes to grab it, but you snatch it away before he can

“What’s the letter say? It’s clearly upset you” he shuffles closer to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. Not thinking clearly, you say the first excuse that comes to your mind

“Mum just told me that, my aunt died,” you say not looking at him

“Y//n, I know that’s not true”

“What do you mean it’s not true! I just read the bloody letter”

“Cause this is the fourth letter in a row telling you that an aunt has died, you’re not very good at lying”

“You’d be surprised” you mumble so Sirius doesn’t hear you

“Come on, you can tell me anything, you can tell me the truth”

“You don’t want to know the truth, Sirius!” You snap at him running up to the castle.

You spent the rest of the week avoiding your friends, well Sirius, but he’s always with them, so it meant avoiding them too.

It was Saturday night, and you were at the pureblood party, and completely miserable. You go over and stand next to your father

“Couldn’t help but bring that ‘Gryffindor’ pride with you?” your father says looking down at you. You’ve never felt so small “Take that stupid thing off”  

“S-sorry father” you look down you taking off the red ribbon

“Disgrace” he mutters walking away

Not wanting to look as alone as you felt, you go outside though some fancy glass doors, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, for once you didn’t want to set the place on fire, you wanted to set yourself on fire, you felt cold, but not from the weather, from spending a week away from your friends, and re-reading all the letters your ‘family’ sent to you.

You didn’t notice, but Sirius had just walked in. He’s looking around for the red ribbon, hoping that ‘whoever’ she is, was here tonight, he sees the ribbon by the doors, smirking “fuckin’ finally” he thinks, once he’s outside he sees that it’s you.

“Y-Y/n?”

Your eyes go wide ‘well tonight can’t get worse’ you think, turning to him but not daring to look in his eyes

“How’d you get here? What are you doing here?”

“Same as you” You show Sirius the ‘invite’ to the party

“I-I don’t understand, you’re not muggleborn you’re pureblood? Why didn’t you tell me?” he frowns

“I didn’t want you to think of me as one of them” You look inside, you can practically hear them saying mudblood

You could see cogs turning his brain though his eyes as he was piecing it all together “All the letters were from them?”

You nod, pulling out a bunch of paper from your bag “Only letters I ever get” you choke handing them to Sirius He looks through them, anger boiling inside him

“They say I’m a traitor, pathetic, disappointment, disgrace, worthless, unloved, unneeded…I guess I am really” Sirius pulls you into a hug.

“You’re nothing like them, and you’re none of those things, I’m so glad I met you, I don’t know where I’d be without you… actually I do, I’d be in there bored outta my mind,” You hold him tighter burying your head in his neck

You hear Sirius’s mother calling him from inside, you pull away smirking at him, and spark in your eye, as if you weren’t about to burst out crying.

Sirius looks at you confused but smiling “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours”

“Well since we’re stuck here for a bit, why don’t we have some fun” you grin tying ribbon back around your waist

“I like the sound of that”

You grab Sirius’s hand and pull in inside to where a song is playing and people are dancing respectfully in pairs.

“Hey, Pads? May I have this dance?”

“Hey, isn’t that my line?”

You roll your eyes as you both go to where the dancing is. Sirius holds you by your waist pulling you close

You raise your eyebrow and Sirius winks at you “Do you know what personal space is?” smirking you wrap your arms around his neck, only making you both closer “Doesn’t seem like you mind” his voice drops an octave

“Who would mind being this close to Sirius Orion Black” Sirius looks down at your lips.

“The way my name sounds coming off your lips is making me want to kiss you,” he says sensually, smirking and pulling you closer (if that’s even possible) you bite your lip, flicking your eyes from his lips

“Sirius.Orion.Black”

He crashes his lips to yours, sending sparks through each other, it felt like it was always meant to be, but ruining the moment both your mothers are pulling you apart, saying things like blood traitors, despicable, etc, making you both laugh

“See you at school!” Sirius calls as his mother drags him out

“If we make it back!”

You both laugh, your mothers going off.

~ A few months later ~

You were taking a walk around the grounds finding Sirius sitting by the black lake holding a letter “Parents?” you say sitting by him, wrapping him in a hug as he nods

“Th-they disowned me…It’s like I don’t give a fuck, I hate them…but it still hurts”

You laugh a bit “You’re kidding right?” “Hm?” he tilts his head to the side as you pull a letter from your robes

“Got it yesterday” you hand letter to him He lets out a laugh “They disowned you too?!” “They couldn’t wait one day? So we can get disowned together?” you both laugh

“I love you, Sirius Orion”

“Now that sounds so much better coming from your lips” he has his cheeky grin on his face “Does it make you want to kiss me?” you smirk “It makes me want to kiss you forever” as he pulls you into a passionate kiss.

#Harry potter #hp #sirius black #sirius #sirius x reader #sirius x reader imagine #sirius x reader one shot #sirius black imagine #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black one shot #sirius black blurb #sirius black drabble #sirius black x reader #sirius black x reader fanfiction #sirius black x reader one shot #sirius black x reader imagine #marauders #the marauders #hp marauders #harry potter marauders #marauders era #blue moon archives

[pain-in-the-butler]

it’s late, I’m bored, time for Hunger Games Simulator Kuroshit Edition Episode 2

Day 1 Cornucopia highlights

Sebastian’s just like “aight time to clean”

it’s gonna take more than that to help you now, bud

they might be too pure for this

rip grandpa

Will also said “fuck it, cleaning time”

Agni brings out the right hand of god for bread, Randall gets the broken nose he’s deserved for a while now (he did win the last Hunger Games, to everyone’s disappointment)

O!Ciel hoping to hibernate it out

TERRIBLE NEWS EVERYONE, OUR GIRL IS DEAD ALREADY

Phipps, Macmillan, Finny, Lizzie, Soma, Abberline, Undertaker, Edward, Bard, Ronald, Othello, Mey-Rin, and Grey all got away from the cornucopia safely. Some of them got weapons, but the game doesn’t record what weapons people have and what they don’t, so whatever people picked up doesn’t really matter

Day 1 highlights

HARCOURT CAME TO FUCKIN PLAY YA’LL

gdi Randall, we just lost three of four girls in one fell swoop, I hope you bleed out from your broken nose and die

Ronald says we aren’t allowed to have nice things

Other highlights:

Day 1 Arena Event: Borders Close In

Edward punishes Agni for his bread crimes

Hunger Games simulator is actually just a rare pairs simulator

pretty upset that Harcourt died so soon, it’s always kind of funny when he gets the chance to become a cold-blooded killer

and there goes our last lady (though now that I think about it, I should probably sub in Lao and Ran-Mao)

Day 1 and we’ve already lost Lizzie, Mey-Rin, Bard, Tanaka, Soma, Agni, Sieglinde, Grell, Othello, Phipps, Abberline, Randall, and Harcourt

This leaves us with only eleven survivors: O!Ciel, R!Ciel, Sebastian, Edward, Finny, Undertaker, Wolfram, William, Ronald, Grey, and Macmillan

Night 1 highlights

the boys are like “better make the best of a bad situation by creating the next Kuromyu”

Macmillan had the same idea, but he’s alone, and no one’s favorite character is Macmillan

alternate title: R!Ciel and Undertaker traumatize Edward and Finny so badly that they can’t sleep

O!Ciel’s sitting on his food cache like a fat dragon guarding its hoard of treasure

Wolfram is unable to sleep, but Grey builds himself an entire camp and presumably gets plenty of beauty rest

Day 2 highlights

Macmillan refuses to kill the shorter, two-eyed version of his friend. Meanwhile, R!Ciel is already dead

Ciel’s almost too in character as he waits for the enemies to come to him while he does whatever the hell he wants

they’re just blond boys doin what blond boys do

other highlights:

Wow, no deaths today, so it looks like it’s camping o’clock

Night 2 highlights

black ops Macmillan says never trust anyone, not even the side character who exists to set up exposition

why do I feel like Wolfram will regret this

well, at least we know he didn’t burn down the manor

R!Ciel: I’ve reclaimed the manor, my title, and my girlfriend. What are you gonna do about it? O!Ciel:

other highlights:

Alas, poor Will

Day 3 highlights

R!Ciel is really out here like “I’m incapable of dying, just try to kill me and you’ll see” but no one believes him

the food king discovers he cannot be sustained on food alone

Grey does the gentlemanly thing

Wolfram says “my death scythe now”

Other highlights:

and so day 3 comes to an end with this final roster

we’re fortunate enough this time to have things wrapping up with both twins and Sebastian still alive, which keeps things interesting. However, Macmillan is also here, and the randomizer could turn him into an absolutely feral killing machine. Nothing is sacred in Hunger Games Simulator

Night 3 highlights

looks like someone couldn’t find that water source

another man cleared of arson

fast, hungry boy and strong, hungry boy bond over being hungry

still not entirely certain Macmillan knows he’s helping the wrong twin

the only wounds he's gotten are from the thorns while picking berries.......

fair enough my man

The Feast highlights

Somehow the frail, decrepit perpetual ten-year-old managed to defeat the powerful demon and grim reaper armed with a lawn mower. Did I mention nothing is sacred

Day 4 highlights

Macmillan and Finny both spared R!Ciel, but as soon as Macmillan asks for death, Finny’s like “you got it champ”

meanwhile the brothers are squabbling but what else is new

imagine if we got to a point in the manga where the roster actually looked like this 3wijaor;jiwa

Night 4 highlights

so I guess somehow Grey has cemented himself as Enemy #1 and the boys put aside their differences so they could have a slumber party with the remaining blond boys

Day 5 highlights

Older blond boy kills younger blond boy in a truly devastating example of blond boy crime. Meanwhile, O!Ciel add medical supplies to his growing collection of goodies, and Grey says “ooga booga” at a child

Night 5 highlights

it’s like the start of the Blue Cult arc all over again

Day 6 highlights

Did R!Ciel just die really anticlimactically?? Also, O!Ciel becomes a perfect combination of McGruff the crime dog and Smokey the Bear and says no to fires

Night 6 highlights

Hunger Games simulator returns to being a rare pairs simulator. Somehow O!Ciel has acquired an infection, and R!Ciel is definitely dead

Day 7 highlights

O!Ciel, Grey, and Wolfram take a page from the Public School Arc’s notes and don’t do anything interesting for a while

Night 7 highlights

Wolfram gets medical supplies but refuses to use them on his new boyfriend. O!Ciel's canon energy is stifling

Day 8 highlights

O!Ciel receives a weapon he won’t use. Grey tries to make something happen. Wolfram goes spelunking

Night 8 highlights

O!Ciel’s canon energy continues to rise to dangerous levels, but Seb’s too dead to hear him make orders. Wolfram dies, and if this were the manga, you know our boy wouldn’t stand a chance in hell against Grey

Day 9 highlights

IT’S THE HUNGER GAMES SIMULATOR AND NOTHING IS SACRED

god look at that shit-eating grin. Ciel managed to make it through the whole thing without killing anybody and he knows his ass would be grass if Grey hadn’t gone kablooey. unbelievable. our grand champion, everyone

#black butler #kuroshitsuji

[catgirljudeperry]

ways to do fear rituals in minecraft

-get the entire server to jump into a huge cave 

-uhhhh silverfish spawner. get some silverfish spawn eggs and put them in a circle. 

-would involve killing a warden (the still and lightless beast is a warden and you can’t convince me otherwise) and killing a bunch of players, and something involving a block like obsidian or an end portal block or some similar block of the sorts. preferably during a thunderstorm bc those make it dark during the day 

-choose one player on the server, set their spawn in a forest, kill them and set their spawnpoint on fire, later on set some other players on fire as sacrifice, give your chosen player an unbreaking mending flint and steel, and i’m not sure where to proceed from here except that it involves arson. 

-stick a bunch of players in cells and then enter spectator mode

-make a hole with tnt and throw a ton of meat into it 

-go try to find a mushroom island or a nether fortress or a swamp/jungle villager or what have you. maybe the far lands if you’re a bedrock edition person

-lock a bunch of villagers in an apartment with one villager per room and the only windows being the kind that let you watch everyone go by from high up 

-massive free-for-all PVP tournament with music playing and then blow it up with TNT

-fuck around with a debug stick. just make the craziest fucking builds and then debug stick the hell out of them and then bring a ton of players or villagers there and stop them from leaving

-party rock is in the house tonight and it involves leather armor (closest you got), player heads (ideally of others on the server), and a whole lot of armor stands in these things. put on pigstep and see the sunlight we ain’t stopping keep on dancing till the world ends or until someone breaks out the TNT

-drag a ton of players into a deep ocean biome 

-select a player, preferably one with x-ray mods but knowledge of x-ray glitches works too, and then throw them into a silverfish spawner room, drop gravel on their head, throw them into the deep dark (or at least make them hear enough cave noises), knockback II them off a cliff, debug stick their base, get them to finish something while everyone else logs off the server or at least goes into spectator mode and doesn’t use chat, put on a player head of them, throw them into a cave spider spawner room, set them on fire, hunt them for sport, kill them out of nowhere, something porkchop idk maybe make them eat rotten flesh?, kill them again, and then make them send an incantation in chat 

-the above but then you kill another player and then that player whilst lighting some tnt and also there is a massive nether portal nearby

#tma

[crossdressingdeath]

Twin Treasures ch. 2 v. 1

So that's chapter two edited and updated here; here's the original for you all.

Madame Jin stares at the two boys in front of her, ignoring her husband’s sputtering. “It’s only been a month.”

Wei Ying fists his hands in his filthy golden robes. “I-I’m really sorry!”

“You set the kitchen on fire,” Madame Jin says.

“I didn’t mean to,” Wei Ying says quickly. “I was just trying to get some rice! …And then I knocked it over. And it landed in the fire…”

“Nearly burning down Koi Tower in the process!” Jin Guangshan interjects.

Wei Ying flinches. It really was an accident! The rice had just been a little out of reach, and he’d dropped it trying to get it off the shelf. “I… I…”

“It was my fault,” Jin Rong says suddenly.

“Your fault?” Madame Jin asks. Jin Guangshan’s eyes slide from Wei Ying to Jin Rong.

Jin Rong nods. “Wei Ying asked me to get the rice for him, since I’m taller,” he explains. “But I… dropped it. It fell in the fire. Sorry.”

There’s a smile beginning to creep onto Madame Jin’s face. “In that case, why did A-Ying say he was the one who started the fire?”

Wei Ying twists his fingers together. “I… It wasn’t…”

“He didn’t want me to get in trouble,” Jin Rong says. “He said… He said it was his fault, since he’s the one who asked me to get the rice.”

“I see.” Madame Jin looks pleased, for some reason. Has she been looking for an excuse to punish her son? “Well, Sect Leader Jin, it seems to be a simple mistake. I see no need to cause a fuss. After all, it would be terribly embarrassing if the other sects heard you had tried your own son for arson.”

“I… Well.” Jin Guangshan coughs, very carefully not looking at his wife. “I see no reason to make a fuss over such a… minor incident. Although I would hope my son would not allow himself to be dragged into such nonsense by an orphaned street rat again. His reputation would suffer if he were to…” He trails off at Madame Jin’s glare.

Beyond her furious look, Madame Jin doesn’t bother to respond. She turns to the children. “Boys, come with me. I need to talk to you both.”

“Yes, Mother.” Jin Rong bows, then grabs Wei Ying’s wrist and tugs. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Um… okay.” Wei Ying allows himself to be pulled out of the room after Madame Jin and Jin Rong, leaving Jin Guangshan alone in the throne room.

Madame Jin leads them back to Jin Rong’s room in silence. She doesn’t speak until the door closes behind them. “Well? Would you two like to tell me the truth now?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Jin Rong says.

Madame Jin chuckles. “Come here.” She rests a hand on Jin Rong’s head. “A-Rong. Do you think I can’t tell when my own son is lying to me?”

Wei Ying flinches. “I’m sorry!” he squeaks, feeling dread creep along his spine. “It was all my fault, I made him!”

“No he didn’t!” Jin Rong says quickly. “It was my idea!”

“Boys, boys!” Madame Jin laughs. “I’m not angry. I just want to know what happened. The truth, please.”

Wei Ying sniffs. “I… I just wanted to make something for you…”

“For me?” Madame Jin asks gently.

Wei Ying nods. “You’ve been so nice to me, and you gave me a home and clean clothes and lots of food, and I wanted to do something nice for you, too!”

“I see.” Madame Jin reaches out and pats him on the head. “That’s very sweet of you, A-Ying.”

Wei Ying smiles shakily. “But… But I couldn’t reach the rice, and it fell over… and then it spilled into the fire…”

“That’s when I came in,” Jin Rong adds. “I heard him shouting for help and came to see what was happening.”

“He put the fire out!” Wei Ying says. “…Eventually.”

“Knocking all the spices onto yourselves in the process?” Madame Jin raises an eyebrow.

“Sorry, Mother.”

“Sorry, Madame Jin!”

Madame Jin sighs. “Honestly, you two. Such a mess. I’ll have the servants bring you water to bathe with. Clean up and change, alright?”

“We will,” Jin Rong says.

“And the two of you will stay in this room until tomorrow morning,” Madame Jin adds. At their complaints she says, “You did set fire to the kitchen. There has to be some punishment.”

“Yes, Mother,” Jin Rong sighs. Wei Ying just nods, not sure what to say.

Madame Jin smiles and pats them both on the head. “I’m very proud of you both,” she says gently. “A-Ying, it was very kind of you to try to cook for me, although I want to be clear that it isn’t necessary. I will make sure you’re taken care of no matter what you do, do you understand?”

“Yes, Madame Jin,” Wei Ying says quietly.

Madame Jin hugs him quickly and turns to her son. “A-Rong, it was very brave of you to lie to your father to protect A-Ying. You’re older, so it’s your job to look after him; I’m glad I didn’t need to tell you that.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Jin Rong says, a proud smile appearing on his face.

Madame Jin hugs him too, then stands. “Very good. I’ll have the servants bring you both dinner later, alright?”

Both boys nod and she smiles again, then makes her way to the door, where she pauses. “Tomorrow I’ll begin teaching both of you how to cook. We don’t need any more kitchen fires.”

Jin Rong looks like he wants to groan. “Yes, Mother…”

“Thank you, Madame Jin!” Wei Ying chirps.

“You’re very welcome, A-Ying.” Then she’s gone.

The two boys sit in silence until the servants come with water for their baths. Wei Ying grabs Jin Rong’s sleeve before the older boy can step behind the screen to bathe. “I’m sorry!”

“Sorry?” Jin Rong echoes. “Why?”

“I… I got you in trouble,” Wei Ying says. “Sect Leader Jin was mad. I’m really sorry!”

“It’s fine,” Jin Rong says. “Mother didn’t mind, and if she doesn’t mind she won’t let Father do anything.”

“But…”

“It’s fine,” Jin Rong insists. “It was an accident! If Father’s going to blame you for the rice being too high up, then…” He cuts himself off with a cough. “Go take a bath, you’re filthy.”

Wei Ying giggles. Jin Rong grabs a clean robe and throws it at him. “Okay, okay! I’m going! But Ge- Um, but Jin-gongzi needs to bathe too!”

“Shut up!” Jin Rong snaps, stepping behind the screen. “Why are you calling me ‘Jin-gongzi’ all of a sudden?”

“Well, Jin-gongzi is the heir to the sect,” Wei Ying says lightly. “And I’m just an orphaned street rat, after all! Your reputation would suffer if I was too familiar with you!”

Jin Rong’s spice-covered outer robes come flying over the screen and land on his head with remarkable accuracy. “Shut up!” he says again. “…Just call me Gege. It’s fine.”

Wei Ying stares silently for a moment, then smiles to himself as he peels off his dirty clothes and hops into his own bath. “Yes, Gege!”

“Um,” Jin Rong says. There’s a silence broken only by the splashing of water. “Can I call you Didi?” he blurts out.

Wei Ying’s smile stretches even wider across his cheeks. “Yes!”

He hears Jin Rong laugh. “Okay… Didi!”

Wei Ying giggles. “Okay, Gege!” he chirps.

…

After cooking lessons (a disastrous idea, Jin Rong thinks; Wei Ying is small and clumsy and keeps knocking things over, but Madame Jin just laughs and picks them up again), Madame Jin insists on teaching Wei Ying cultivation.

Jin Rong can’t deny being happy about that. He’s older than Wei Ying so he gets to be his shixiong, and he’s stronger and faster so he gets to show him how to do everything! And Wei Ying watches him practice with wide, awed eyes and shouts praise across the field like he’s the best thing he’s ever seen. And he learns fast! Within just a few months he’s already excelling at the basics. Every time he figures something new out, he always comes running to show Jin Rong before anyone else, even Mother.

His little brother is so cute. He bets none of the other sect heirs have such cute siblings.

(He’s definitely better than Jiang Cheng’s sister.)

“Gege, Gege!” Wei Ying looks over and grins at him, waving his practice sword (not even seeming to notice the weight, Jin Rong notes with some pride) and forcing the nearest disciples to duck out of the way.

“Didi.” Jin Rong has to drop his own sword as Wei Ying bounds across the training field and throws himself into Jin Rong’s arms. “Shouldn’t you be training?”

“I’ve been training all morning,” Wei Ying whines, leaning his full weight against Jin Rong. “Gege, we should do something fun!”

“Like what?” Jin Rong picks up his sword, ignoring the way Wei Ying flails to maintain his balance. “We still have work to do.”

“But, Gege!” Wei Ying says. He grins. “I know a secret!”

“Do you?” Jin Rong asks, interested despite himself. Wei Ying has quickly ingratiated himself to most of the servants who don’t directly serve Jin Guangshan, so he gets all the best gossip. “What is it?”

Wei Ying is bouncing up and down on the spot. “Not telling!”

“Yes you are,” Jin Rong says. “You always tell me, you’re terrible at secrets.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!” Wei Ying pouts at him. “I’m not bad at secrets! Just for that I’m not going to tell you, so there!”

“Tell me,” Jin Rong says. “You know you want to.”

“No I don’t!” Wei Ying insists. “I’m not going to!”

“Tell me.”

“No!” Wei Ying folds his hands over his chest. “…Unless…”

Aha! “Unless what?”

…He’s never claimed to be above bribing his brother.

Wei Ying lights up. “I want spicy food!” he demands. “Really, really spicy food!”

“Fine, fine,” Jin Rong says. “We can go down to the kitchen and I’ll talk to the cooks.”

But Wei Ying shakes his head. “I want Gege to make it!” he insists.

“What?!” Jin Rong scoffs. “Sect heirs don’t cook, there are people who do that for them!” At least, that’s what Jin Guangshan had said.

“But Madame Jin said that cooking is an important skill,” Wei Ying says. “And Gege’s cooking is the best…”

“Well… That… Of course my cooking is the best!” Jin Rong says quickly. “I’m the heir to the Jin Sect! I’m good at everything!”

Wei Ying nods emphatically. “Gege is the best!”

“And don’t forget it!” Jin Rong glances over at Wei Ying’s instructor. The woman looks amused, but also a little impatient. “Finish your training for today, then I’ll take you to the kitchen. Okay?”

“Okay!” Wei Ying scoops up his sword again and begins to run back, then turns. “You promise?”

“Yes, yes, I promise.” Jin Rong shoos him away. “Hurry up!”

“Yes, Gege!” Wei Ying chirps. Then he whirls around and scurries back to his instructor.

…

Jin Rong isn’t actually very good at cooking. He isn’t going to admit that to Wei Ying, though. He promised! A good sect heir always keeps his promises!

So here he is in the kitchen, scowling at a bowl of what’s supposed to be congee. “It’s…”

“It looks good!” Wei Ying chirps.

It looks bright red and a little gross. Is Wei Ying just making fun of him? “Are you going to eat it, then?”

“Mhm!” And he actually does. Jin Rong watches in horrified awe as Wei Ying gulps down the entire bowl of congee without a single complaint. “It’s good, Gege!”

“…Really?” Jin Rong asks. “I mean- Of course! Because your big brother is good at everything!”

Wei Ying nods agreeably. “Mhm! I have the best big brother!”

Jin Rong is not flattered by that. He isn’t! “Now it’s your turn.”

Wei Ying tilts his head to the side. “My turn?” he echoes.

Jin Rong sighs. “You promised that if I made you spicy food you’d tell me a secret,” he reminds his brother.

“Oh, right!” Wei Ying grins and beckons him closer, even though the cooks seem entirely uninterested (and probably already know; Jin Rong wouldn’t be surprised if they’d been the ones to tell Wei Ying this little secret in the first place). “I heard Madame Yu is bringing her daughter here from Yunmeng to visit!”

Jin Rong groans, all his curiosity replaced by annoyance. “Again?”

Wei Ying blinks at him, confused. “Again?”

“I guess Mother wouldn’t have mentioned it to you,” Jin Rong says dully. “I’m engaged to Jiang Yanli. Have been since I was born.”

“That’s… bad?” Wei Ying asks.

“Of course it’s bad!” Jin Rong complains. “I don’t like her. She’s boring, and she’s no good at cultivation! But Mother and Madame Yu decided we were going to get married, so I don’t have a choice.”

“But if you don’t like her then why don’t you just tell Madame Jin?” Wei Ying asks. “If she knew you don’t want to marry Jiang Yanli…”

“You think I haven’t tried that?!” Jin Rong snaps. There’s a brief clatter as the cooks scurry off to look busy. “You think I’ve got a choice? Are you stupid?!”

Wei Ying flinches. “S-sorry!”

“Of course Mother knows I don’t want to!” Jin Rong continues, ignoring him. “She just wants me to marry her best friend’s daughter! What I want doesn’t matter! And Jiang Yanli isn’t helping, she actually wants to get married!”

“But… that’s not fair,” Wei Ying says quietly. “Mama said that marriage is supposed to make people happy.”

“Well, it doesn’t work like that!” Jin Rong snaps. “Don’t be such a kid!”

“So what if I’m a kid?” Wei Ying whines. “You’re a kid, too!”

“Yeah, well…” Jin Rong shoves the younger boy, hard enough to knock him back a step. “I’m older, so I know better!”

“Gege knows lots of things,” Wei Ying agrees far too quickly, steadying himself against the counter. He’s staring at Jin Rong, eyes wide.

Jin Rong sighs and forces himself to relax, reaching out to pat his brother on the head. “…Sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have pushed you.” Mother always says a good sect leader should know when to apologize.

“It’s okay!” Wei Ying insists. “I don’t mind!” And he smiles, bright as the sun.

His little brother is just so cute. “Jiang Yanli’s going to be so jealous,” he says proudly.

Wei Ying tilts his head to the side. “Why?”

Jin Rong scoffs and pokes Wei Ying’s forehead playfully. “You’re so dumb, Didi,” he teases. “Obviously because my little brother’s way better than hers!” All Jiang Cheng does is whine and yell at Jin Rong. He bets Wei Ying will be way better at cultivation than that kid, too, once he’s had more practice!

Wei Ying blushes bright red, a delighted grin spreading over his face. “Gege’s the best brother, though!”

Jin Rong tries to stop himself from smiling. In the end he has to turn away so Wei Ying can’t see. “Obviously I’m the best,” he says. “I’m the heir to the Jin Sect of Lanling! I’m the best at everything!”

“Except cooking,” Wei Ying points out with a mischievous little giggle and a smile in the direction of the cooks.

“What- You said it was good!” Jin Rong complains. “You liar!” He lunges playfully at his little brother, all remaining annoyance forgotten.

“It was good, it was good!” Wei Ying yelps, scrambling away from Jin Rong’s hands.

“Too late! I don’t believe you!” Jin Rong grabs him and sets about his brutal vengeance.

“Gege!” Wei Ying shrieks with laughter as Jin Rong’s fingers dig into his ribs. “Stop it, stop it!”

“Never!” He tightens his grip. Wei Ying howls. “If you lie to your brother you have to face the consequences!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Wei Ying tears himself loose and runs to hide behind one of the cooks. “I won’t do it again!”

“Hey, get back here!” Jin Rong can’t stop himself from laughing. “Cultivators should never run from a fight!”

“It’s important to avoid fights you know you can’t win!” Wei Ying retorts, peering around the woman.

“So you admit I’m better!” Jin Rong crows, ducking around the cook. Wei Ying circles the other way.

“Only until I get more practice!” Wei Ying insists. “I’m going to beat you one day!”

The cook laughs. “Boys- Ah, Jin-gongzi, Wei-gongzi,” she corrects herself. “If you’re going to run around, don’t do it in the kitchen.”

“Sorry, Auntie!” Wei Ying chimes.

“Sorry,” Jin Rong echoes. He grabs Wei Ying’s wrist. “Come on, Didi, let’s go!”

They run from the kitchen, leaving the laughter of the cooks behind them.

“So,” Jin Rong asks, “you’re going to be better than me, huh?”

“Mhm!” Wei Ying nods. “I’m going to be the best cultivator ever, and then I’m going to stay by your side and protect you forever!”

…His little brother is the absolute best. “You can’t do that,” Jin Rong says, mostly to keep himself from doing something embarrassing.

“I can’t?” Wei Ying asks, eyes wide and sad.

Jin Rong nods. “Mother said, remember? I’m your big brother. It’s my job to protect you!”

Wei Ying’s face lights up and he bounces over to wrap his arms around Jin Rong’s neck. “We can protect each other!”

Jin Rong returns the hug. “Yeah. It’s a promise!”

(And sect leaders should always keep their promises.)

#twin treasures v 1

[lazarusemma]

(Written for @5ftjewishcactus’s wonderful Chanukah Omens prompts! I missed the first few days, so this is a bit of a catch-up until today’s prompt: Tradition, Blessings, Flame, Sufganiyot, Chanukiah. Translations for the italicized Hebrew beneath the cut.)

EDIT: now on AO3 here!

It’s silly, maybe. To get so excited over what amounts to low-level arson, just setting something on fire and then having pastries about it. But tradition is tradition and Crowley likes that Aziraphale likes it. The ritual of it, the celebration. Something about the symbolism of light in darkness, tiny flames against the winter cold. (He’ll never admit he likes it too. He’s just here for the food, and never mind that he doesn’t even like jelly.)

Aziraphale holds the tip of the candle out to him and Crowley flicks it into fire, nothing profane about it, just a chemical reaction of oxygen and carbon. “Thank you,” Aziraphale says quietly, smiling, and begins the blessing. “Baruch atah...”

The room brightens. An angel’s blessing is no small thing. Crowley’s feet should be aching; it shouldn’t be this easy for him to stay here, so close, and to hear these words. But he is welcome here. This is something he can have, holy though it is, because they promised this place would be their home, and so it is his. There is no scorching heat, only a gentleness, a soft warmth in his chest.

The second blessing comes to an end, ba’zman hazeh, and in this time everything is golden as Aziraphale touches the flame to each wick and they watch it reach hungrily for the oil; Crowley whispers, “Amen,” and oh, it tastes right on his tongue, isn’t that something?

“C’mon,” he says, laying a hand on Aziraphale’s shoulder when the correct number of branches for tonight have been lit. “We’ve still got doughnuts from last night, haven’t we?”

“Ooh, yes,” says Aziraphale, wiggling. He beams. “Don’t think I didn’t see you put yours back untouched, by the way.”

Crowley pokes out his tongue. “Sufganiyot. Sticky,” he says, as though that explains everything, and leads Aziraphale away from the table and towards the kitchen. “Are you going to sing again?”

“You know the words as well as I do, and don’t even try to pretend otherwise.” Aziraphale prods his arm. “Sing with me?”

He does know the words. He ought to, as resident tzar ham’nabeach, as audience to a divine shir mizmor; Crowley can recall the events of Maoz Tzur as clearly as Aziraphale can, and so the lyrics aren’t difficult to call to mind. But he likes to hear Aziraphale sing it. “You do it better,” he says, “all that heavenly choir practice.”

Aziraphale hides a smile unsuccessfully. “Tomorrow night, then,” he decides, and begins to sing as he fetches the doughnuts and dreidels, as the chanukiah flickers familiar shadows on the wall, spilling light into the street through the window, proclaiming: A great miracle happened here. Here and now and then and there, in those times as in these, for us as well as them. Every year past the end of the world is a miracle. Every day spent together is a miracle.

Not all miracles are flashy: small jugs outlasting all hope, seas splitting open, columns of flame in the desert night. Sometimes a miracle is something quieter. An unexpected victory against unassailable odds. One hand in another. The promise of tomorrow.

Baruch atah... - “blessed are You,” the start of a blessing, in this case that which is said before lighting the menorah

Ba’zman hazeh - “in this time,” the last words of the second blessing said before lighting the menorah

Amen - yes this is just amen which even non-Hebrew speakers know but I think it’s worth pointing out that the Hebrew root for the word means “faith”

Sufganiyot - jelly doughnuts, a Chanukah staple

Tzar ham’nabeach - “the blaspheming foe,” part of the lyrics to Maoz Tzur (see below)

Shir mizmor - “a song of hymn,” from the following line of Maoz Tzur

Maoz Tzur - a Chanukah song typically sung after lighting the menorah which celebrates victory over a succession of oppressors throughout ancient Jewish stories.

Chanukiah - the more technically correct term for the menorah lit on Chanukah, with 9 branches and not the 7 of the Temple’s menorah

(Not quite Hebrew but worth mentioning: A great miracle happened here is a translation of the slogan Nes Gadol Haya Po, which is what the letters on a dreidel stand for, as a reminder of the Chanukah story. Also, in those times as in these is a vague translation of part of the second blessing as mentioned above.)

#ChanukahOmens #good omens #chanukah #jewish omens #fanfiction #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #aziracrow #my writing #tonight we dine at self indulgence #goyim can rb but i didn't write it for y'all #fic: it's a miracle #i know. another queen lyric title. shocking

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Viva Las Vegas, Pt. 12 - Willie Alone

Summary: Sunset Curve AU, Willex, will he make it?, 5.2k

@trevor-wilson-covington is the bestie who makes these lovely edits, we stan supportive friends

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11

Day one down with no Caleb. Purple began to border the horizon. Hours of skating broken up with brief rests had Willie pretty tired. Sheldon seemed to be holding up pretty alright, even if he was stuck in the funny makeshift carrier Willie had made from a t-shirt to wrap around himself. Whatever town he’d stopped in was a little ways from the interstate, but it was nice being in a smaller place than a city for once. He actually couldn’t remember if he’d ever been to one.

Willie skated up to a cafe that doubled as an ice cream parlor and let Sheldon down on the ground. He hooked a leash to the cat’s collar but let it drag along the ground, knowing he would be followed. Entering the cafe, he sat at a table and leaned on its surface in exhaustion.

The night before already felt like so long ago. He’d spent all day debating whether it was smart to skate along the highway because it was an easier route to follow, or if he should take some back roads because they had less traffic and likely no cops. Seeing that shed light up was unforgettable. Willie hadn’t watched too many movies since he’d lost his memories, but it was a moment that had definitely felt like he was in one. Did he count as a fugitive now? He sort of liked the flavor of mystery and adventure that came with it.

Sheldon was up on his hind legs, pawing at Willie’s knees to let him climb up. Sitting back so his cat could leap into his lap, Willie cradled him with one arm. He thought about getting some ice cream and realized that he already missed the chamoy candy from Escobar’s bodega. It would’ve been nice to have a few more snacks on him. He’d get something in a little bit - standing up was going to make him feel sore.

He wondered how Alex was doing. He’d chosen to go to L.A. in the hopes of at least finding him and the rest of his friends. That sense of closeness and familiarity that Willie had felt when they were at the Pearl had become everything to him. Even Julie and Flynn would be great to meet again - in fact, he wished he could give them something in return for allowing him the second chance he’d needed to find Alex. Then he could figure out where to go from there.

Finally getting up from his seat, he approached the counter for some ice cream, leaving Sheldon held down by putting a chair leg through the leash handle. A girl who looked too young to be working there came to serve him.

“Hi, what can I get for you?” she said politely.

Willie looked down at all the flavors underneath the glass. What he wanted to do was climb inside and get the cool-off he really needed.

“Uhhh...how about the - ” his eyes narrowed to be sure he was getting it right. “ - the swass?” As far as he could see it claimed to be a white chocolate flavor with cayenne pepper in it. He’d never heard of a spicy ice cream before.

The girl giggled behind the glass.

“How many scoops?” she asked, barely containing laughter.

“Two scoops, in a waffle cone,” he said, watching as she got it prepared. “What’s so funny?”

They traded hands as she gave him the cone and he gave her cash.

“Swass is short for sweaty ass. It’s a summer special.”

Willie snorted and laughed along with her.

“Nice!” he said, pointing a finger to accentuate the word. She held a handful of coins out to him. “Don’t worry about it, keep the change.”

Mood now lifted by his ‘swass’ ice cream (which was surprisingly delicious once he began licking it), he went back to the table. Sheldon kept watching him, eyes hungry for the unfamiliar substance. Willie watched in mild entertainment for a moment as he continued eating. Then he got the idea to move the ice cream around, seeing Sheldon’s eyes follow wherever it went. It made him giggle.

Holding the cone within reach of Sheldon’s face, he let the cat sniff at it for a moment before daring to take a lick. After a few more licks, Sheldon sat back with his mouth wide open in shock, and Willie felt bad for laughing.

“Did you get a brain freeze, buddy?”

Sheldon looked betrayed, and crawled underneath the chair and began cleaning his face. Some noise caught Willie’s attention and he looked up to see a small TV set up in a corner of the cafe. The news was on, and while he couldn’t clearly make out what was being said, he saw footage of a building in flames while a fire department was trying to put it out. Fear clenched in his chest as he recognized it. Lifting Sheldon’s leash, he immediately got up from his chair and headed out the door.

So avoiding public places was going to be the plan from now on. He didn’t know what was being told on that news story but considering that was definitely the shed from behind Caleb’s place...arson had awful consequences, and Willie didn’t like his odds. It certainly put a wedge in his plan to find shelter, but he could get creative.

Grabbing his board, Willie skated through the streets and checked out his best options while finishing his ice cream. It was getting late, and businesses were closing quickly. He didn’t fancy staying anywhere outside, mostly for the safety of his cat. After getting a good look around the town (or most of it at least), Willie had to pick between the movie theater or the laundromat.

He thought of trying the theater. The seats would be perfect to sleep in, and the dark stillness of an empty theater at night sounded so relaxing. But there was the question of getting in without having to buy a ticket or being kicked out after a movie was finished. That was likely to cause enough fuss with the employees for them to identify him. Scratch that off the list.

Willie made his way to the laundromat, albeit unwillingly. It was the only place open for twenty-four hours with no one to bother him about why he was there. As he went inside with Sheldon, he peered up at the yellow lights. There had to be a dark corner somewhere. A handful of loads were going, and they were all spread out so that the noise would bother him no matter what. However, a door toward the back caught his attention and he checked to see if it was locked.

To his surprise, it opened to reveal an empty office. He flipped on the light to get a better look. There was only a desk, chair, and empty bookshelves, as if whatever it was used for had been decommissioned or moved elsewhere. Dragging a finger over the desk, a layer of dust came off. The room didn’t look like anyone would check for a person in there, so Willie decided it was where he’d make camp.

Luckily enough, there was a lost and found area with the laundry of people who’d somehow forgotten to pick up their loads. Finding a blanket in the pile, Willie made sure Sheldon was inside the office with him before turning the light out and shutting the door. It blocked out the noise of the machines well enough. Using his backpack as a pillow, he laid down and pulled the blanket over him as best he could and sighed.

Thinking back to earlier when he’d celebrated being a fugitive...well, it certainly had its cons. As Sheldon nestled on top of his legs, Willie chuckled softly and tried to focus on falling asleep. The backwards dream was bound to happen again, and he wondered if anything about it would change now that he knew what it was really about. Aside from his memories of Alex and his dad, it was the best motivator he had now. He closed his eyes and let the sound of purring lull him to sleep.

Day three without Caleb. Note to self: never underestimate the amount of sunscreen, food and water needed on a trip, and bring a map. Packing light was a mistake. Willie was avoiding the highway now, but had taken a wrong turn somewhere after passing through that small town and thought he’d found somewhere to get back on track, but only ended up more turned around than ever. Now he was skating for miles on some back road with no cars or civilization in sight and was getting worried. He was rationing the water between him and Sheldon, and now that it was high afternoon and the July sun was beating down, he was worried. The food he had packed for himself was already gone, and he was pretty sunburnt.

He’d originally decided not to hitchhike because he didn’t want to be recognized and turned in, but now he was considering it was safer than wherever he was right then. If the laundromat had been rough, rest stops were much less desirable to sleep in.

Slowing his board down, he moved to the side of the road for a minute and set Sheldon down on the ground so they could both stretch their legs. These past few days had been hard, but he was determined to never go back to Caleb. He felt more like himself and a new person all at once, more than he had ever felt since he’d lost his memories. Even with desperation creeping under his skin, he didn’t regret it one bit. Sheldon rubbed against his legs and Willie opened his backpack and dug for some food.

“Here you go, buddy,” he murmured, laying the food down and massaging the back of the cat’s neck. “You sure are handling this better than me.”

All he got in response was content purring. Willie was grateful he wasn’t entirely alone. It wasn’t a usual thing for cats to travel, right? He wondered what made Sheldon so special.

Pulling out his water bottle, Willie saw that it was down to a mere gulp. As if to punctuate his disappointment, his stomach growled loudly. This was beginning to feel like more than a low point. The pain and fatigue started increasing as he sat in the dust, the notion of how lost he was settling in uncomfortably. Shaking the water bottle, Sheldon perked up and watched him pour some into his hand before licking it up.

Finishing the last of it, Willie was hardly satisfied. It was better than nothing. The heat was getting unbearable, though, and with how tired he felt it was a hard debate whether he should take a nap or keep trying to find shelter.

Stubbornly trying not to imagine the worst, Willie reminded himself of his goal. Find Alex, find somewhere to stay, and play it by ear from there. He even teased the thought of finding out if he still had a family. That didn’t sound likely, especially with the amnesia factored in, but this was the first time he could dare to dream bigger than the small life he’d had back in Vegas. If he did make it, it was all worth the strain he was feeling right now.

If - such a laconic, dooming word.

His legs felt too much like jelly to attempt riding again, though, and he pulled Sheldon into his lap. The cat made a few funny chirping noises at him.

“Sorry, buddy, I’m too tired,” he apologized. All the rubs against his shirt couldn’t renew his strength fast enough. Willie felt tears well up in his eyes and he couldn’t tell if they were from fear or exhaustion. Only a couple fell and immediately dried on his face.

He tried summoning the memory of Alex’s eyes, letting the ocean waves bring hope in a dire attempt to fight everything else. Their rhythm and focus remained preserved so well in his mind. If the world was made of hard, painful, unbearable things, Alex was the softness of respite. From bandaging his hand to running his fingers through his hair in comfort, there was a gentleness that made Willie believe in something greater than one day in Sin City. The waves grew and he dreamed of being washed clean and refreshed and like he could leave his soul at the shore forever and never be hurt.

They crashed over him again and again, like a lullaby. The sensation dulled the pain until he was numb. Nothing remained but the beautiful sea of green before him.

Willie didn’t know when he passed out or for how long, but he was jolted awake by feeling his body hitch up and down, like he’d gone over a bump. He heard the running of an engine and opened his eyes. A window beside him was down, and he looked directly into his own reflection in the rearview mirror of a truck. Turning to his left, he saw a person at the steering wheel through bleary eyes.

“Dad?” he muttered thoughtlessly.

“Sorry,” the voice of an older woman spoke. “Not your dad.”

Willie only blinked as he tried to orient himself. The woman had salt and pepper hair styled in a mullet and looked coarse from years of hard work.

“Pardon me for being blunt, but what the hell were you doing out there?” she rebuked. “With a cat!”

He immediately sat up in alarm, looking for Sheldon.

“He’s fine,” she assured. Willie nodded as he saw the cat sitting on top of a blanket in the back seat next to his skateboard.

“It’s a complicated story,” he told her.

“I bet it’s complicated,” she muttered in slight consternation.

There was a few minutes of silence as Willie’s mind tried to understand where he was.

“Don’t try to thank me,” the woman began speaking again. “It was only so easy to put you up in my truck after I saw you had no water, no food, nothing but a few changes of clothes and a wad of cash.”

“Thank you,” Willie said, embarrassed he hadn’t said it quicker.

“I said don’t thank me; I could’ve taken all your cash.”

He looked at her anxiously until her lip curled.

“Don’t worry, you’ve still got all of it.”

This lady was abrasive, but at least she was kind.

“I’m Bessie,” she said. “And if the name is right in your wallet, you’re William. Bet you go by Willie though.”

“How did you guess?”

“You don’t look like a William kind a’ kid.”

It was amazing how she could hold his attention so well without taking her eyes away from the road. Her intelligence was effective. It kind of made him smile.

“You hungry?” she asked. Her head nodded in the direction of a bag sitting between them. He smelled chicken and he hesitated for a moment, eyes darting between the food and her. “Go on, you can have some. I can eat more when we get to Roy’s.”

“Who’s Roy?” Willie asked, carefully pulling out a chicken wing and biting into it.

“It’s a motel. Me and my husband own it. And it looks like you’ll be our only guest tonight.”

“Oh,” he said through a mouthful of food.

“I apologize, but you need a shower,” she told him, wrinkling her nose. Willie only continued to chew in silence and bowed his head. He’d forgotten about that while he’d been focused on skating his way to freedom.

“So where is this motel at?” he asked after a few moments.

“It’s in Amboy. We’re a little ghost town out here. There’s only five of us, the rest are tourists. Sometimes we get Harrison Ford coming through.”

Willie raised his eyebrows, guessing it was impressive trivia. There were numerous names people used that he seemed to be expected to know, but unfortunately most of them he couldn’t keep track of. He silently ate his chicken, relishing in the taste.

“We’re almost there, so just sit tight and keep eating,” Bessie said.

He noticed she hadn’t mentioned anything about recent news, and while it was possible she knew about it, Willie didn’t think she would hold back her commentary if she did. He decided not to bring it up.

Not even ten minutes later they pulled up to the retro motel. Movement was agony, every bit of his exposed skin on fire. Sheldon lifted his head and meowed in curiosity as Willie opened the back door to get his things. Pulling his backpack over his shoulder, he scooped up Sheldon with one arm and grabbed his board with the other. He felt nervous claws immediately dig into his shoulder and he tried to soothe his cat the best he could.

“Shhh, buddy, it’s okay,” he whispered. It was a good thing he had a leash on.

“I have never seen a cat travelling with a skater before,” Bessie said as he followed her into Roy’s. “The things you get in this little town.”

She took him up to the main desk and pulled out a reservation book, licking her finger to turn the pages.

“Alright, let’s get you a room,” she murmured.

“I can pay to stay here,” Willie said shakily. She’d practically saved his life, and he hadn’t exactly counted how much he took from Caleb, but added onto his own money it was quite a stash. Bessie looked at him thoughtfully.

“If you insist,” she surrendered without argument.

Sheldon was sniffing everything and peering around, obviously wanting to explore.

“You can put him down for a minute, I’ll keep an eye on him,” Bessie told Willie, handing him a key and a bottled substance after he let Sheldon go. “You get yourself washed up and put this aloe on. I suggest you stay for a few days at least so those burns don’t get worse.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Willie heard himself say. Too late, he reconsidered the use of ‘ma’am’ but Bessie only smirked and shook her head. He wondered how often she picked up strangers and set them up at her motel, because she was so well prepared. Glancing at his cat, who was content to swat at some flies that had made their way inside, he went toward the room that matched the number on the key.

Showering hurt, even with cold water, but Willie tried to bear it as best he could. At least applying the aloe wasn’t too bad. He was glad he hadn’t skated with his shirt off because it wouldn’t have been any fun to try reaching certain parts of his back. Looking out the window of his room as he got dressed, the sunset was in its late stages. For a while, he simply sat on his bed and hugged his knees to his chest, watching it go down.

Now that he had time to slow down, Willie felt a huge weight finally lift off of his shoulders. He hadn’t been allowing himself to think about it as much since he was so focused on being on the move and trying to stay safe while he had Sheldon with him. Actually, he didn’t even remember when he’d crossed state lines. But he felt a little safer now. Caleb didn’t care enough to come after him all the way out here, he didn’t think. Burning down the shed had been a little dramatic, he admitted, but once people forgot the news it was probably miniscule in Caleb’s eyes compared to everything Willie had lost.

For a minute, a ball of anger grew inside his chest and Willie closed his eyes and breathed deeply in an attempt to cool it down. It was probably a good idea to take Bessie’s advice and stay a while since he was being given the opportunity. He got up and went back out to see how Sheldon was.

The cafe was quiet except for Bessie speaking on the phone with someone. Sheldon was near the cafe counter where someone had set out a bowl of water and a can of tuna. Willie went over to him and knelt down to pet him. Any motion was still a pain, but he made himself ignore it. Footsteps sounded from behind the counter and Willie looked up to see a large man with a mustache peering down at them. He appeared to be from somewhere in the Pacific Islands.

“You’ve got a nice cat,” the man said.

“Thanks,” Willie replied with a small smile as he continued running his hand from head to tail.

“Can I get you some water?”

“Oh...uh, yeah, thanks.” It was going to take a while to get used to people being kind. As the man left briefly and returned with a glass, Willie graciously took it and sat at a table. Like that, the man had disappeared and he almost questioned whether he’d actually been there.

He saw the napkins on the table and pulled one out of the dispenser. The only thing he’d actually learned how to make with origami was those little frogs, and he never seemed to use a proper piece of paper when he got the urge. Now, he didn’t have anyone to gift it to if he did make one. He sure wasn’t going to hand one to Bessie.

Just as he thought that, she came over to sit across from him.

“So what’s the plan, kid?” she asked, folding her hands casually.

Willie looked at her for a moment, unsure what to explain.

“Come on, something’s gotta motivate you to be going cross country on a skateboard,” she pointed out.

“Well,” he sighed. “I’m trying to get to Los Angeles.”

“And the bus just didn’t do it for you?”

Willie sat back, dumbfounded. Part of him knew that there were bus routes across the states, but he just hadn’t remembered that.

“Yeah, so fun fact about me: I only have a year and a half of memory, and I forgot about busses.”

Bessie raised her eyebrows, and then furrowed them.

“I’ve seen some things, I’ve seen some things, and I have seen some things. You are not something I have seen yet. I won’t ask for what your whole story is, but I can only imagine the convoluted circumstances that got you in your position.”

Willie bowed his head, unsure how he should respond. It was clear that she truly wasn’t aware of the news, though.

“Do you even know what you’ll do when you get to LA?” she asked.

“Not much,” he said, shaking his head. “But I have a start.”

“Please tell me you don’t plan to skate the rest of your way out of here.”

“Well, do I have any other way to get there?”

Bessie pursed her lips as she considered his words.

“I’d have my husband drive you out, but he just went out of town to do some business. We’re actually trying to sell the town, so once he finishes up his deal this place will be out of our hands. I can’t keep you here for long.”

The news made Willie realize just how inconvenient it was for her to have pulled him from the side of the road, and more guilt rose in his chest. He couldn’t keep getting in everyone’s way just by showing up.

“How soon is he supposed to be back?”

“A couple days. And then we’ll spend the rest of this week cleaning up and heading out.”

Feeling something touch his leg, Willie saw Sheldon had finished his can of tuna and come over to him. Picking the cat up and holding him in his lap, he looked at Bessie.

“You’ve been really generous,” he said. “You practically saved my life. I don’t know how to thank you.”

She shrugged.

“Ain’t much you can do but say it, and that’s okay. And maybe just rest enough so you’re in good shape before you get back on the road. Can you do that?”

“Yeah.” Willie nodded emphatically.

“Alright. Well, I’m going to turn in, but you hang in here as late as you like, although I don’t know what you would do.”

Willie only smiled as she got up from the table. He did the same, carrying Sheldon with him to the room. It was going to be nice having a bed and not being on the move from the second he woke up. Even with his skin continually on fire, he was able to fall asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

The next day he woke up and it was already noon. Sheldon was meowing to be let out the door, intermittently coming up to Willie and nudging him with his head.

“Yeah, I get the hint,” Willie laughed.

He quickly got himself together before hooking the leash to Sheldon and heading into the cafe. There were two men he hadn’t seen the day before eating lunch. It was probably a good idea to eat, considering he had slept through breakfast. The large man with the mustache was at the cafe counter, and Willie was silently relieved he hadn’t hallucinated him. It appeared he had set out the bowls of water and food already for Sheldon, who immediately went to it.

“Hello, little man,” he said as Willie came toward him. “What can Big Bo get for you?”

“Are you Big Bo?” Willie immediately loved the name.

“Absolutely.”

“Well, I could eat anything, what do you recommend?”

Big Bo thought for a minute. And then he smiled.

“I’m gonna make you a nice burrito.”

Nodding and smiling, Willie watched him leave as he went to a table and immediately began folding napkins into frogs. After a while his face got itchy, and he realized his skin had begun peeling from the burns. That was going to be fun to handle. Big Bo brought his burrito over and then tried getting attention from Sheldon.

Most of the rest of the day was pretty boring. Willie rotated between doodling on napkins, playing card games with the deck Bessie pulled out from the motel office, and walking around with Sheldon. He was reminded to consistently use the aloe vera he’d been given. Boredom rose to the point where he helped Big Bo deep clean various appliances behind the counter in the cafe. By the time they had finished, it was just time to eat a late dinner and Willie was tired out from all the cleaning.

He took a shower and tried to lightly scrub off all of the dead skin. Sheldon curiously poked his head in and got a faceful of water, causing him to make a surprised noise and run off. Willie couldn’t help but laugh with a twinge of pity as he peeked out and saw his cat glaring at him from the bed. Honestly, he wouldn’t have managed to get this far without Sheldon. It felt good not to be alone, but also feel free to just be himself and still be followed out of sheer loyalty.

The bed was already so comfortable and inviting it made Willie sad that he couldn’t stay longer. Maybe in the future he could recreate something like this place - small and friendly, where he was always prepared to help poor strangers find shelter. There wasn’t much to do here, but he could play around with ideas for his own thing. He’d definitely add a skate park, though. A strange thought occurred where he remembered Caleb’s hotel being called the Desert Oasis - the irony of it all couldn’t have been more obvious.

For the first time in weeks, Willie had a peaceful sleep.

A couple days later, Bessie’s husband still wasn’t back in town. She didn’t seem too worried about it, but Willie could feel tensions building up for himself. He was slowly running out of ways to entertain himself while his burns were finally toning down into tan lines, and he was afraid he would wear out his welcome while she was waiting for the town to be sold. His backpack was already packed and ready to go, but it was mid-morning and he still felt unsure about when was a good time to leave. For now, he simply doodled over the top of the comics in the newspaper.

The door of the cafe opened. Willie didn’t bother looking up but he overheard the conversation.

“Well, I am surprised to see you here again,” Bessie was saying.

“Hello, Bess, how’s it been?” A man’s voice was heard speaking. Willie couldn’t tell where he recognized it from.

“Slow. Buster’s been out of town. I guess we oughta tell you we’re leasing the place so you’re not in for a surprise next time you want to fly out here.”

“Leasing the town? Well, that’s a shame.”

“Any day now.”

“Any day now? If I’d known this would be the last stop I make here, I would’ve planned better. I was just gonna go out to the salt flats for a bit and then hightail it back to LA.”

Willie peeked over his shoulder. He still couldn’t see the man’s face, but he felt his heart rate go up at the mention of Los Angeles. Not wanting to appear rude, though, he continued with his doodling and tried to tune out what they were talking about. Eventually the man left the cafe and it was difficult to tell if he was going to come back or not. If it took until later that evening, he was willing to wait to find out.

In the meantime, he let Big Bo teach him how to make his special dinner rolls. The man was very quiet but he clearly loved making food and it made the process more fun. Also, Willie enjoyed the way he got called “little man” because it came out sounding so laid back and welcoming. While they waited for the dough to set, Big Bo showed him some tattoos he had and explained the symbolism of each one.

“This represents Nāmaka, the Hawaiian goddess,” he said, pointing to a woman’s face surrounded by ocean waves on his bicep. “But to me she really represents the course of life. The tide goes in, and the tide goes out, and the good things and bad things do the same. What you and me do is just ride that wave wherever it takes us in life.”

Listening intently, Willie thought back to Alex’s eyes and the countless times he used the visual of ocean waves to bring him calm amid the turbulence. Big Bo had spoken a simple concept, but it was something more powerful than anything Caleb had ever said. Something in Willie’s heart felt like he could finally find a purpose outside of all of this chaos.

After they had finished making the rolls, Willie sat eating one while petting Sheldon when he heard the door to the cafe open again. Footsteps approached and suddenly, a man Willie recognized had put his leg up on the chair across from Willie and was leaning on his knee casually. Surprise seemed to slap him over the face when he realized who he was. Indiana Jones, Han Solo, the Fugitive himself looked down at him in a bomber jacket and jeans.

“So my friend Bessie tells me you’re in a rough spot, kid,” Harrison Ford said. Willie looked back in shock. “I’ve got my own plane out there right now. You want a ride?”

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #fanfic #jatp fanfic #willex #alive au #sunset curve #alex mercer #willie #luke patterson #reggie peters #bobby wilson #julie molina #caleb covington #sheldon the cat #harrison ford #viva las vegas #willie alone #fiddlepickdouglas

[struwwelzeter]

Because i miss your design themed rants (it is good word here) i would like you to rank Rammstein album covers from designers point of view.

Ah, I love you. This got VERY ranty.

This is kinda hard because I tend to judge the entire packagaing/notes, and when I count that into it the ranking would be ever so slightly different. I’ll mention it for each I have Opinions (TM) on, but yeah, this is solely going on cover. I’ll only do the studio albums, not made in germany or the DVDs, or this will get too big.

7th: Rosenrot.

I know lots of you are gonna hate me for this. It’s not that I don’t like it, I do, it’s beautiful. Unfortunately it’s ... slightly lazy. It’s I think their most obvious cover and obvious feels like it’s good design but never truly is. It’s got that first idea feel, if that makes any sense. There is always that project where you go “uh can’t think of anything, but this works.” It’s not a bad thing, they clearly still knew what they were doing. It’s just ... that typical photoshop post apocalyptic composit that lost of metal/alternative bands did at some point. They all did it because it’s cool. No argument there. It’s just that I expect a bit ... more.

6th: Herzeleid

I know it’s iconic, but. The execution?! Terrible. The colours of their skin and that flower?! Too different to feel monochromatic, to same same to contrast nicely. Too much texture. What is that?! The positive bit is the placement of the typography because, neat! Most people fail at that. I like the blue-grey there aswell, how about you’d added that to their skin a little? No? Ok.

Also, this (Richard speaking):

“The bloody sleeve! What a crazy situation that was. We approved the photos in a car park without thinking what we were letting ourselves in for. When we saw what the designer had done, we freaked! We looked so… gay! All of us stripped to the waist. It was like an ad for a gay porno film. So we had to say, sort it out. Make us look straight again. Change the sleeve.”

Who in the fuck works like this?! Nevermind, I know it was a considerably younger Dirk Rudolph, but fucking hell, have some self respect, all of you. I know they didn’t know what they were doing, they probably had the management/record company comission it, and that was still the time graphic designers were seen as just pixel pushers from that time it took 3 days to layout a poster. Still. What was that brief?! Could you have sat down for 20 minutes and talk, perhaps?! Also, I hope this is how Richie learned to be the nightmare client I know he is. Don’t approve layouts in a car park, what the fuck is wrong with you.

It’s a pity because the concept? Nice. Sculpted men infront of flowers, what else do you want from life. Why crysanthemes, tho? Too textured in that macro shot. What is that photo angle?! Might try and redo that if I ever feel like it.

5th: Reise, Reise

This breaks my heart a little, because it’s my lonely island album. And it isn’t bad by any stretch. Actually, their album cover game is ridiculous, can I have that established as a general benchmark? It would make for a lot less mental break downs. The thing is ... I like the idea. Make it look like the black box, cool. The problem is the type. It makes it look like “Flugrekorder Nicht Öffnen” is the album title. To be fair, Typesetting is my main thing, and album artists get it wrong (imo) 99 out of 100 times. I wish they would have comitted more and just left the titel off and solved it with a slide in, or a sticker or something like that. It’s just a bit ... weird. What works brilliantly is that it’s very memorable, stands out on the shelf, is unusual, all of that. It’s iconic. I do like it very much but I had to place something here.

4th: Liebe ist für alle da

Now the thing with that album is that it has two covers. If I’d gone by the original one, I’d have to place it behind Reise, Reise. Everything RR has in impact, this is missing. It’s too dark, has too many pieces, it won’t stand out on a shelf. Especially not in the CD age when it was on 12x12 cm. Even on a Vinyl, it’s ... just not that impactful. Sure, the photograph is beautiful but meh. Luckily there is a second option. And that - is almost like a logo. It works as a symbol, and that makes it so strong. Less is more. Brilliant. You can draw it from memory. It’s so iconic, the kind of stuff that starts showing up in subways, drawn on the back of a seat and sprayed on walls. Tell me you never wanted to paint that on a flag and take it to a pride parade. I am sure some of us have.

I do want to mention the booklet in this, because it does bump it up a little too, because where the panorama image fails as a cover, the inside is done so beautifully with the fold out, the type setting, everything. It’s special, and done with love and it shows.

3rd: Mutter

There is just something about this that is so, so, so memorable. Everyone recognises this. If you ask anyone over the age of 20 to describe Rammstein with an album cover only to someone less familiar, is anyone gonna say anything but “they’re the band with the embryo in close up”?! Maybe this is subjective because that’s how I first got exposed to them, but I don’t think so. It’s such a powerful image. It’s both beautiful and uncomfortable, the way Rammstein as a whole and that album in particular is beautiful and uncomfortable. It’s stunning. That’s it. Unfortunately, this one falls apart inside. The went too far with the whole Matrix inspired cyber elements. It’s trendy and trendy never stands the test of time, in that it has the same problem Rosenrot has, but much worse because it’s not even done that well. They could have just used the photos and kept it raw. The type setting on the cover is as good as it gets with albums tho, so I am happy.

2nd: Sehnsucht

Ah, Sehnsucht. The most perfect band shoot they ever had. Helnwein just ... did it. I don’t know, it both defined and summed up who they are aesthetically for the longest time. It’s the visual statement that says “this is Rammstein”. It ... just looks like a band that sings about heartbreak and necrophilia is supposed to look like. Don’t you agree? How else would it look like? Even that omniously coloured beach. It’s as if the predicted the mood of True Detective, only less Hollywood. That darkness we don’t want to see, that can happen anywhere. And where they fell short with Mutter, where they added too much on to these powerful images, they just added the type. Granted, it was the 90s so it’s slightly experimental type. But unlike most type in the 90s it stood the test of time. Add the whole variable cover versions and chefs kiss! Beautiful work. Makes me happy and emotional and ugh.

1st: The White Album

I’m just calling it that now. The Matchstick. You know, good design is made up from three components only: Concept. Commitment. Execution. The concept of this is so streamlined and clean. It’s the entire Rammstein story narrowed down to a single little thing. It’s small and ordinary looking but it can become dangerous and big. It’s underestimated. A little piece of wood with a head of phosphor and calium chlorit and yet you can commit the most legendary arson. It’s the personification of the thing that has become synonymous with them: Fire. It says so much with so little. And then they comitted to that. No useless typography, a simple but oh so well done photoshoot, the simple text on white. They didn’t ad too much additional ideas on to it, they trusted that one to carry and it does. They could have done without the black and white match stick arrangements inside, although I’m not even sure if that’s not just a limited edition thing, it’s a bit too much almost. They got scared a little there. The execution is also well done, I have very little to critique, only that I feel it lacks a tiny bit of love. The thing is, the more minimalist you go, the more love you have to put into each element. I feel like the spacing of the type should have been fixed in a few places but honestly that is being very very picky. Or not. Because if it wasn’t for that, and the teeeeny tiny commitment issue, this should have been a candidate for the packaging grammy. I mean it should be even the way it is, but we all know how those fuckers ignore our boys.

I’m done. Can I use this as application? Do you think if I send them a run down of basically tearing them apart they will hire me?

#my version of i will be a rockstar is i will win the packaging grammy #just you watch me #it’s roughly 35 years until the end if my career and just you watch me #rammstein #album cover #graphic design #i need a ramble tag #rammstein asks

[feckin-zicons]

Squids, Dancing, and Dirty thoughts... Not necessarily in that order or all at once.

Apparently people like this? I am more confused than Liam is in this chapter. Which you know, makes sense bc this character only exists in my head, but also doesn’t at all bc I have no idea what goes on in there most of the time. Anyway this is for Zayn, Oxford commas, @stanmedusa who pointed out Zayn was also an Oxford comma stan, @redyellowberry, and their anon to started this mess. Also please imagine Zayn with his current blue hair, but also with his long Aladdin hair bc that’s what I’ve been doing and oh holy gods do I need that to happen. Please. Hair gods make it happen I’m begging

Same warnings as ever its 4AM, this is much longer than planned, and I have no interest in editing, making it sound coherent, or good. No, I don’t know about the squids either.

Parts 1&2 here

Liam would like to point out while he's not a stranger to feeling confused, he's still having trouble pinpointing how exactly he got to be Dance Mistress Irina Alinova's personal bitch. 

Ever since he accidentally interrupted one of the dance practises while looking for a missing prop for Director Corden, more and more of them started disappearing only to show up in the basement. No one else was interested in facing the Dance Mistresses' wrath, but Liam didn't mind the yelling. As long as Mistress Alinova didn't start throwing things, he figured he was safe enough. After all, it gave him the chance to see the blue haired ballerino again.  

Zayn Malik, the god in mortal form, the prima ballerino, the prettiest man Liam had ever seen, who had no idea who Liam even was. 

Liam had it bad. 

Liam had it so bad.

Liam had it so bad he tripped over thin air, spilled hot coffee over himself, and walked into a door when he thought he saw him at a Costas with Louis. The man he saw wasn't Zayn, thank fuck, but the entire sequence of events did give Louis more ammunition to tease him with. Stupid pretty boys with long blue hair and piercings sent from hell just to ruin Liam's life. Yeah, he was a goner. 

Louis dragged out the whole sorry story after Liam texted him about spiking his lunch and laughed himself sick knowing just how much of a mess Liam became around people he was interested in. They still didn't talk about Danielle. Which was a good thing considering the end of that relationship had Liam pretty much swearing off women for the rest of his life. No pussy was worth that mess. Dick though? Liam was willing to take that chance on Zayn, even if asking Harry didn't give him much information. 

According to Harry, Zayn had been around for a few years but mostly kept to himself or the other dancers. There was something about him throwing a fit a few weeks before Liam showed up. Upset about being forced to learn the choreography for Winston's show when it was just going to fail on opening night like it always did. 

Liam thought he had a point, considering. He didn't know what bananas, ballet, and really bad rapping had to do with King James VI but didn't want to voice that in front of the man playing the gay king. No one dared fire Zayn, considering he kept the whole theatre afloat, but it also didn't make many actors happy with him. Especially not Mizz Wendy Williams, who played Marie Antoinette in the play. Again, Liam had a lot of questions he didn't dare ask out loud. It's not like he was ever good at history, so it was entirely possible the two lived in the same time period. Or it was some sort of allegory that went over his head like the aristocrats wearing banana suits did. 

Louis always found his stories about his placement hilarious, but even that one had him wondering if there wasn't some sort of gas leak in their apartment. It wouldn't have been the first time, or the second. Most likely, it was the theatre that was growing some sort of mold that caused insanity if breathed in. Some of the things Liam had been forced to clean in the past few weeks were unspeakable. 

But even that probably couldn't explain Zayn Malik. Nothing could explain that sort of beauty and talent. Or those hands... and thighs... and fingers. Ung. Liam would love to get up close and personal with all of him.  

Either way, Liam had just been cleaning the mirrors in the practice room, humming along to Brandy and Monica on the radio, wondering if Niall was actually going to come down and help him instead of hiding away like a coward. Again. By the second verse, he'd given up trying not to sing along, not expecting anyone to come by. It was late, the dancer's practise long over, and Winston left screaming over an hour ago. Liam would have done a recce and skipped out on the last half hour if one of the managers wasn't sticking around still. Piers Morgan, an absolute cunt who treated the lads on probation like hardened criminals, and he was the prison warden. Despite, you know, most of the lads on summary probation, and Liam’s arson charge being the most serious crime out of all of them. 

Anyway, the last thing he's expecting is for anyone to come in while he's singing about the boy being his, rolling his body to the beat. Which is probably how he ends up tripping over himself when he notices Zayn leaning up against the open door, watching him. Watching him, in bright, tight, teal dance tights (were dance tights usually blue? They should be) that looked nice with his hair and complimented the gold tones of his skin. The skin he could see a lot of. Because he was shirtless. Because he was shirtless and had a lot more tattoos than Liam realized. Tattoos Liam wanted to bite. Not hard enough to make a mark or anything, that would be sacrilegious, but enough to make him make a sound. God, Liam hoped he was a moaner. Not that he thought he had a chance with Zayn or anything, but it would be a shame if Zayn was the type that stayed quiet during sex. 

Except he wasn't being quiet now, he was talking. And Liam was staring at him, like an idiot, not paying attention. Because he was an idiot. 

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, why did this always happen to him? 

"Er, what?" Liam asked, desperately hoping he didn't sound as stupid as he felt right then, which was pretty fucking stupid. He probably looked even stupider than he felt and ruined his chances at ever-

"I asked if you were almost done? Was planning on practising more tonight," Zayn answered him. 

Zayn, Zayn Fucking Malik, answered him, and he was still staring at him like an idiot. Shit Liam say something.

"Pretty" 

Not that you idiot.

"What?" Zayn asked, looking confused and adorable.

Oh god, he was precious. Was that a smile? Was he smiling at him? Liam? Oh no.

"Pretty much, I meant. Pretty much done," Liam replied, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. "Just one more mirror, and I'll be out of your way."

There, those were words, sentences even. Now all he had to do was act normal and finish cleaning. Easy. 

"So, Brandy and Monica, right? You like R'n'B then?" Zayn asked him, walking into the room with a heavy dance bag, setting it off to the side.

Liam felt himself flushing as he turned back around to finish cleaning the mirror so Zayn wouldn't see.  "Yeah," he answered, trying not to peek at Zayn bending over as he rifled through his belongings. 

Those legs, Fuck. Liam wondered what it'd feel like to have them around his- 

"I didn't expect that," Zayn said, drawing Liam out of his filthy thoughts, and making him turn back around.

"What?"

"No, I- I didn't mean it in a bad way or anything. I guess I just expected you to listen to more rock?" 

Liam was pretty sure he missed half of the conversation somewhere. Was Zayn blushing? He was so pretty. Wow. 

"No, I like everything," he replied dumbly. They were still talking about music, right? That would make sense. Why was Zayn talking to him again? God, Liam couldn't handle this. "Do you like it? The music, I mean."

"Yeah, grew up listening to ‘em. My older sister was obsessed with Monica. So... Who's your favourite artist?" 

"Artist? Oh uh, I've been listening to a lot of Post Malone? How about you? What do you- who do you listen to?" 

"Post Malone's sick, mate. I like most music I guess, but I've been listening to a lot of The Weekend."

"Have you heard his new album?"

"Yeah, it's sick! Do you-" Zayn was cut off by Niall running in out of breath. The bright orange tee that labelled him as one of the community service workers was wet and stained black. Actually.. all of him was soaked and stained black. Was that ink?

"Hey, Payno, are you done yet because we have a situation upstairs," Niall gasped out, hands on his knees, looking like he'd just seen his life flash before his eyes. 

"What the hell happened to you?" 

"There's a squid stick in the toilet." 

"There's a what?"

"A Squid! A giant fucking squid in the toilet!" 

Liam blinked in confusion, trying to wrap his head around why there would be a squid anywhere near the theatre let alone one of the toilets. Did Corden want live animals in his show now? Or Winston. It could be either of them. 

"Why do you need me?" he asked. "I don't know anything about squids."

Niall sounded like he was at the end of his rope when he replied, "You know something about plumbing at least!" 

"Not a lot! Enough to keep the water on at home, but I'm not a plumber." 

"Doesn't matter, we need your help, Ashtons gone to find some butter," Niall said, stomping back around, leaving behind a trail of watery black ink. "We'll meet you upstairs when you're done."

"Wait, what do you need butter for?!" Liam called after him but didn't get a reply. Butter? How was butter going to help?

A muffled giggle distracted Liam from his thoughts, and he was abruptly reminded Zayn was still in the room. Zayn, might as well be a god, was in the room, and Liam was just talking about squids in toilets.

Why him?

"I guess I should go see what they need help with?" Liam tried to say without sounding... Well, he wasn't sure what the proper response was in this situation or how to react to it. 

Zayn smiled at him, and oh. How was it possible he looked even more attractive now? 

Liam thinks Zayn said something about the other lads needing him and it sounding urgent, but really, Liam was in a daze until he also got a face full of ink... From another squid in an entirely different toilet. 

What the fuck.

Louis was never going to let him live this down. 

Really? Squids???

#yeah idk #my fic #ballerino au #genuinely have questions for myself #why is it always crack #ngl I'd be interested in seeing Winstons 'historical' play and Corden's musical #if only to know what the hell my own brain is coming up with #the globus theatre is its own warning #lmao #Ziam au #Ziam fic #idiot boys with crushes #Liam is a simp

[ssvgawara]

Haikyuu characters as things said in the hhcu

a/n: this is pure humor and just something fun, the hhcu is wild and says stupid shit more than once a day so i complied a ridiculously long list of quotes and put them together in this list to share with yall so please enjoy, read more because again this is so long also pt 2. some of these r pretty nsfw so uh yeah <3

Oikawa: When he gives up his torso 😍 

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Nishinoya: Fisherman daddy

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Bokuto: I trust no condiments

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Osamu: YELLOW BAD OIKAWA IS NOT ALLOWED IN MY KITCHEN

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Tendou: Give ass in shiratorizawa?

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Atsumu: Garlic air freshener

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Nishinoya talking about his sex life: ITS THE GOOD OL FASHIONED POW POW GRUNT GRUNT WINDOW WASHER ULTIMATE FRISBEE DICK CONNECTOR 

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Hinata: thank you!! also my oven melted??? and caught on fire 😰 

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Yaku probably thinking abt kuroo while saying this: not gonna front im terrified of the live action grinch and if i ever see him its on sight

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Kageyama: Except that one mustard faze I had

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Lev after yaku kicks him yet again: NO INCH ACTIVE INCH VERY ACTIVE

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Suga after Kiyoko holds his hands: premarital eye contact is already a sin

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Iwaizumi realizing Oikawa probably wouldn’t know the difference between hawaiian rolls and milk bread: when he says hit it till it breaks, he means the packaging of hawaiin rolls

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All of Seijoh to Oikawa: You know whats really sexy? Self care.

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Hoshihumi: like a three year old. still baby but also evil at times🤡 

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Oikawa right before his death: "MORNING HAJI!~" slaps tiddie

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 Anyone falling on love with haikyuu boys: hey a good reverse harem never hurt anyone

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Idk who says it but terushima would do this: places his hand to my heart but then hes like heh heh boob squishy

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Tendou: centrepical force saved my bag of chocolate!!

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Lev thinking it was a literary masterpiece: *reads about a fourth of the bee movie*

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Hinata making fun of Kageyama: milk is better than the feeling of the ball touching your fingertips during a perfect set

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Hinata and Kageyama failing tests: thats just the dumbass in me babey!!!

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Atsumu simply trying to annoy Osamu: Are y’all meaning to tell me you DON’T take your raw chicken on walks through the city?

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Yahaba: PUSSY ALWAYS LEAVES

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Mattsun just to annoy everyone: yall ever think about how in the 50s and 60s they just put raw hotdogs or shrimp into jello and ate that shit and enjoyed it???

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Suga: i am now crying and my boyfriend is concerned and i can’t tell him that I’ve lost my husband and children

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Kenma; Smh my head

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Bokuto: Sorry not all of us can have double decker extra stuffed bottoms up extra large super sized t n a like me🥰🥰💅💅

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Everyone to bokuto: titty enthusiast ✨✨

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Me to kuroo: sorry babe youre a scorpio you dont have any rights anymore

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Tendou: i accidentally lit a  baby on fire

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Atsumu: This feels real human centipede

Bokuto: theyre not ass to mouth

Atsumu: Close enough

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Bokuto when a minor inconvience happens: Why are we still here? Just to suffer? Every day, I wake up....

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Sakusa: Remove your lips from my penis

Atsumu: I use a gluestick as chapstick i cant

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Goshiki: Arson or boot in my book, set fire to something live a little

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Tsukishima: I don’t like recieving pain. It hurts

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Kenma annoyed w kuroo: Put your dick in the fucking catfish’s pussy then

Kuroo being annoying: How deep is catfish pussy

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Makki to Mattsun: Ayo babe what if we fucked on the catfish tank

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Kiyoko tiredly, to Tanaka: I’m not putting salt and pepper on my pussy lips

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Saeko: I’ve got that Deep dish, super soaker, wet, succulent dripping honey suckle like sweet marinated mooseknuckle, extra thick, slip n slide, water park, waterbender, extra ribbed, the seven seas, gorilla grip, flex tape, primordial soup Dwayne the Rock Johnson, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion pussy

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Atsumu not really knowing what cooch means: I got the body builder cooch

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Oikawa after not sleeping to train, extremely sleep deprived: youre got unending

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Goshiki; Commit arson

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Akaashi: I leave for 10 minutes and Bokuto is 240v (mouth edition) fuckmaster pro 4000 with semen drip collection tray, automated self-lubricating 6 speed pulsating pussy and built in Polycrystalline floatable silicon

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Oikawa; I’m coming to murk your ass xoxo

Iwa: I will literally shiv you bitch

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Kindaichi: ✨ bob duncan exterminates you asmr✨

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Makki: I’ll try to find my favorite about Jacob sartorius vampire babies with Hillary Clinton

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Kenma after playing some obscure video game: also i can’t sleep😔 too busy thinking about human sized bats

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ME fuck yall im carpetting my bathroom: you already put rugs in the bathroom might as well carpet that bitch

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Kuroo talking abt something sciency idk: LIKE A BODY WIG

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Seijoh when iwa throws balls at oikawa: spousal abuse right in front of my salad

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Hinata making up some new stupid song: Ants on a log ants on a log

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Atsumu to piss off Osamu once more: world f amous allegra chicken

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Semi: Gay little Ushijima’s left hand

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Bokuto: Are you disagreeing with the fact that I am thicc as phuck

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Kiyoko: Guys is it uh... is it possible to sprain a titty cause.... Uh....

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Terushima: He laughed at the end of his own joke what a fuckin chad

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Bokuto: IS THAT THE DOG FROM ZOOTOOIA

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Kageyama: milk is kinda like organ paint huh

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Nishinoya: i don’t think socks taste good

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Tendou: out of your mummy, into my tummy

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Hinata; shout out to me who thought chickens had four legs until last summer

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Oikawa Hanger: I WANNA HANG MY CLOTHES ON HIM 

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Kenma: What a little pissbaby

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Yamaguchi: i am literally so curious about what it's like to kiss a boy that it's almost killing me

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Daichi about Suga: he may be cute, but istg there’s some kind of raging devil trapped in him

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Saeko: fuck society my titties are out

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Hinata after getting lecture by everyone for sneaking into the training camp: GOOD NEWS MY DAD IS NOT GOING TO PUT ME IN THE OVEN

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Just me thinking abt any first years: children. toddlers. Tikes.

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Me waiting for the fever: When is malaria?

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Uhhhhh probably tendou his vibes: Ill electrocute his cock

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Akaashi just go w it probably about bokuto: Why is he shoving cheese up the pussy

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Osamu tiredly: Ooey gooey cheesy chicken vagaina

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Nishinoya trying to catch a very large fish: Dom the Crab

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Bonus crabagraph: The crabs death reverberated and struck fear into the hearts of all crabs in existence because of this one 60+ year old mans volatile universe-crunching swing. Dude defied the laws of gravity by simply getting pinched by the crab. Man just reinvented the laws of physics and all of science due to the sheer force of will and untapped wellsprings if potential unleashed by the crab. If aliens show up it’s because the supersonic radio waves released by the banging of the crab against the cabinet are the first ever created in the universe. Man could cause a ripple in space-time with his crab launching abilities. Guy probably opened a gateway into another universe when he launched the crab. You see how the cabinet door opened and stayed open? It’s because this elder tore a hole through the fabric of reality to the Other Side simply because he experienced a minor bit of pain. The way he released a defeated roar of agony. The ancient gods awoke from their deep slumber and this old man single-handedly revived all his ancestors. New wars are about to start because of the way this man broke the barriers containing this reality into one fixed area. This universe is now expanding at such a rapid rate the the geosphere will now be reshaped. This man probably unknowingly blasted a hole in the other side of the planet because the shockwaves of the aggressive rippling effect of this poor crustacean slamming at lightning speed into a small wooden frame. The crabs insides were probably fused into the shell because this man’s angry, rage filled, pain filled battering ram of an arm throwing him through every known dimension and re-arriving in this one at the mere moment to experience the most pain a crab ever has or will in the rest of the existence of crabs. This elderly man probably has phased through and broken every human limiter known to man just because he got a minor pinch by a crab. He probably is bio-medically fused with crab DNA at this point. A legend.

#incorrect haikyuu #incorrect haikyuu quotes #nishinoya #osamu #atsumu #oikawa #yamaguchi #suga #kiyoko #tendou #bokuto #akaashi #terushima #yaku #lev #hinata #kageyama #kenma #kuroo #kindaichi #semi #iwaizumi #did i get everyone #okay #enjoy this

[lookingforromansconfidence]

Lmao help the children are breaking and entering (again)

hA- I’m actually kinda proud of this one??????? 

Word count- 1,382 (one thousand three hundred eighty two)

Warnings- Swearing, minor rickrolling

I think that’s all please tell me if there’s more to add!!

One - Two (this one) - Three

EDIT: This is the playlist if you’re interested

“Hello?”

“Hi Mr. Graham I think there’s 3 of them now.”  a sigh was heard on the other end of the line 

“I’ll be there.” 

“Thanks, apologies if I’m bothering.”

“No problem” A click came from the line, indicating the call was ended.  Willow had heard of the chaos family before, a relatively large family that committed arson to practically everything. From the amount of figures there were, and how they weren't really being violent, fae could only assume that some people form the chaos family broke into the mall and were now robbing it.  Fae sat in the security room, watching the screens closely for movement. These children sure did run fast. Something flicked across the screen near the Hot topic. Willow’s head snapped toward the silhouettes standing in front of the camera, they seemed to be talking to one another, one pointing towards the jewelry store, the other nodding towards the escalator that leads to the lego store. They nod and run away from each other, separating. 

Where’s the other one? Fae thought, frantically looking around the multiple screens. 

“C’mon c’mon where are you?”  The night shift worker asked to the air, staring at the screens. 

“Hello there!” a voice cries out. Willow whips around to face the empty space next to fae. It wasn’t until fae realized the voice was coming from the computer speakers. Fae looked around the several screens, searching for the source of the voice. Fae noticed a lot of movement in the screen that they were watching with the two people conversing. 

“Hi!!!” the voice said again. They were throwing a baseball up and down in their hand. “Y’know, I don’t know if you can hear me,” they said, talking a little louder, “or if anyone’s even looking at the monitors, but anyways uhhhh, yeah, we’re robbing the place. Apologies for the inconvenience.” They then threw the baseball into the camera, breaking it. Willow leaned back on their chair, sighing in exasperation. 

“Ok- ok. No biggie, we can fix this. This will work.” Fae whispered, getting up and calling chief Graham again.

---

“It’s not gonna fucking work.” Willow muttered as the screens started going black. Willow started clicking buttons, trying to get the monitors to work again. Frustrated, fae tugged on their coat and grabbed a flashlight, deciding that fae’d deal with the situation faerself.

Sighing, Willow walked down the escalator, slowly looking around the wide space, hoping to find someone. Willow looked around the area, shining faer flashlight inside the nearby store windows. How they managed to get inside the mall, let alone the stores, was beyond fae. 

“Shhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Someone’s coming-” a hushed voice said. The sound of sneakers squeaking going silent a few seconds after. Willow stayed still, hoping to see whoever was hiding. Nothing moved for a few tense minutes, the silence stretching out until it got tense. 

“Hey guys-” Someone shouted from above. Willow’s head snapped up, finding someone whose arms were filled with candy. 

“Run!!!!” a third voice shouted.

“El what the fu-” 

“Just run!!!” Three figures ran out the corner they were hiding in. Willow recognized one as the person who threw the baseball at the first camera, they now had a huge stuffed animal in their arms. Fae recognized the second and third as the people who were conversing at the hot topic before. One carrying hot topic merch, the other had a backpack filled with what seemed to be books. 

“Shit.” fae whispered, sliding down the escalator rail, then running after the trio, who were now arguing on how they’d escape. 

“Ora can just set the whole place on fire, don’t worry!!” one with a bunch of Hot topic merch said. 

“No, no, xe can’t set this place on fire, maybe just like, set the fire alarm off?” the one with the stuffed animal said. The trio took a sharp turn just as the lights switched off. Slowing down, Willow switched on faer flashlight and sweeped it around faerself. 

The speakers crackled to life. Someone began talking, wondering out loud what to play.

Shit, I left the door unlocked.  Willow thought. A second voice joined in, suggesting a different song, too distant to hear what song specifically though. 

“Ah, yes, perfect.” The first intercom voice said. The speakers crackled out for a second, before the iconic drum intro played,  and the trio ahead of fae burst into laughter. 

We’re no strangers to loooooooooove

 you know the rules, and so do I

A full commitment’s what you’re thinking of

You wouldn’t get this from any other guy-

Willow groaned. Really? Fae sighed and continued chasing the trio, who seemed to be heading towards the entrance. 

Just as they approached the front doors, they split up, each going in different directions, stuffed animal person going through the large doors leading to the mall parking lot, the Hot Topic merch heading towards the escalator again, probably to find the other person, and the book person ran to the cinema. Soon after the trio was out of sight, the lights turned back on. 

Willow groaned and stared to head back to the security room where fae was stationed that night. The song changed from Never gonna give you up to the gummy bear song.  Willow sighed irritably and clicked off the flashlight, then started the walk to the security room. 

Willow walked up to the door of the room, and tried to turn the doorknob. It wouldn’t turn all the way. 

“Shit.” fae said, knocking faer head against the door softly. Fae looked below the door, looking for a light or something to indicate that someone was in the room. The room seemed empty, but the slightly irritating meme music was still playing in the background. Sighing, Willow slowly walked back to the front entrance, making sure to keep an eye out for the kids that were hiding in the mall.  

The song finally changed to the Little Einsteins theme song when the fire department arrived. Chief Graham walked through the doors, sighing irritably when he heard the song playing. 

“They got into the security room and locked it.” Willow reported. Graham nodded, and asked to lead the way to the security room. 

---

The door was open to the security room when they got there. 

“It was locked when I checked it I swear.” fae said, crossing their arms defensively. Graham slowly pushed the door open, as if he was expecting a bomb to go off. Instead, they found the room seemingly untouched, except for a phone from the apple store playing a Spotify playlist that was titled “Yeah” connected to the speakers. Graham sighed and disconnected the chord, making the increasingly infuriating music stop once and for all. Willow sighed with relief. 

“Thank you, chief Graham.” 

“No problem.” he said, smiling. “I’ll be on my way now, call me again if they show up.” 

“Sure thing. Thanks for the help.” Graham nodded and left the mall, leaving Willow to the paperwork that had to be filled out. Fae sighed, this’ll be a longer night than fae thought. 

Back in the security room, Willow realized that the incident paperwork had already been filled out, the screens were back to normal, and a small voice recording was left on the phone. Fae clicked on the play button, not knowing what to expect. 

“Hello!!! Apologies for the robbery. By the time anyone’s listening to this, -if anyone’s even listening to this, there’s a total possibility Ora just burnt the entire place to the ground-  anyway, we’re probably back at home, showing off our stolen treasures. Thank you for being a good sport!! Have a good whatever time you’re listening to this!!” 

With that, the recording ended. Willow shook faer head, surprised. Fae looked over the paperwork that had been filled out. Everything was correct, the only thing left was the signature of the person on duty there. Willow got a pen from a drawer near the desk, and signed the stack of paperwork. Double checking everything was filled out, fae noticed the “cause of incident” was slightly edited. A new box had been added, then checked. It was labeled, “chaos family”. Willow laughed quietly and walked over to faer boss’ office, put it into the mail slot, and clocked out of faer shift.

---

The ending seems a bit rushed, apologies. Also, google docs is a bit of a bitch and kept trying to correct fae/faer pronouns, which might explain if there’s a random word where the pronoun should be. Anyways, hoped you enjoyed!! 

#not countdown

[tiaragqueen]

Ferae Naturae

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Bakeneko! Sakuya x Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,4k+

✂ Trigger Warnings: Death, arson, possessiveness, implied abuse

[Edited]

***

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

A longer version of my old story, Get Even, with a lot few tweaks here and there. And I finally got to use my favorite word here. I present to you my favorite darling, Sakuya! Above is his human form.

“I promise you're safe with me. You're not alone. You're safe with me. Your heart is home. Now and forever, I'll be your shelter.” - Safe With Me [Megan Nicole]

Sakuya never really understood why most humans always stayed or returned to the person who had hurt them, even when the said person had blatantly displayed no sign of repentance. Irrefutable matters such as consanguinity must’ve played a huge factor in their so-called ‘loyalty’, he supposed, but it still didn’t justify their self-destructive actions. The way they behaved as though nothing was wrong and deliberately allowed their pain to fester under a veneer of tolerance was exasperating and absurd at best, even for him who tended to observe from the distance.

Then again, Sakuya wasn’t born in a human family, anyway. There was only so much he could learn from their lives without actually experiencing them.

But he knew enough to know that hitting his owner was an unforgivable sin; one that deserved an equal punishment.

“You never do anything right!”

A sturdy man, whom Sakuya learned his name was Araki, shouted. He had been doing this ever since he came home and found that you hadn’t cooked dinner because you were exhausted from cleaning the house all day. Granted, it was a humble cabin in the middle of a forest, but for someone to clean all the nooks and crannies while doing other tasks proved to be taxing. Sakuya knew it, too, because he’d seen just how tirelessly you worked every day with little rest and appreciation. All you’d gotten was more and more complaints from that bastard of a husband, sometimes elevating to verbal abuse. Sakuya wondered why and how you bore such an attitude for a long time and stuck with him when you could have someone better.

If it were him, he’d surely leave without a second thought. Better yet, kill him.

But, alas, you were too meek. Under the pretense of loyalty, you accepted everything from him – every word, every beating, every overt manipulation – and toiled even harder. However, Sakuya wasn’t a fool. He was fully aware of your insecurities and fears; of being incompetent, of being abandoned, of being lonely. Although you already had him, a cat that had been spending time with you more than your own husband, you remained hopelessly in love with the latter.

And, honestly, Sakuya couldn’t fault you. It wasn’t easy to separate a wife from her husband due to the finality of marriage, and the only way would be death.

Would it be worth the effort, though? It wasn’t as if you were blind to Araki's vices, anyway. Rather, you accepted them wholeheartedly and believed he’d change someday despite the lack of progress. You loved and married him, knowing full well you’d plunge yourself into a turbulent life. Heck, you’d even confessed it to Sakuya! You weren’t naïve and acknowledged that your love story was far from perfect or even good.

You comprehended the result of marrying such a rough man, which meant, you also comprehended his treatment towards you.

However, wrath defenestrated every understanding and sense the moment Araki raised a hand to slap you. Normally, Sakuya wouldn’t bother much with domestic violence because he wasn’t attached to either of them. But you were his owner – no, belonging – and he protected what was his, regardless of the consequences.

Sakuya hissed and leaped to Araki’s face, swiping the delicate skin ferociously. He didn’t even use his real claws, but the current ones were enough to provoke a stream of curses and groans from Araki.

Your eyes swelled, torn between intervening and doing nothing. Should you help him? You didn’t want to get scratched too, but your cat was clearly and purposefully harming him for unknown reasons. Maru usually left whenever an argument arose and returned when Araki had exited the room. It’d become such a pattern until you believed that he’d recognized human quarrel and learned to avoid it to maintain his peace.

Cats weren’t entirely stupid, after all. Although his constant, almost acrid, glare towards Araki was a little strange, to begin with.

Finally, Araki was able to yank Sakuya from his bleeding visage and flung him against the wall. You gasped and rushed to his aid, examining his tiny body for any sign of grievous injuries. Araki was enraged with the way you prioritized him than your husband who clearly displayed raw gashes, and grabbed you by the collar of your kimono.

“Oh, so you care about that dumb cat more than me, huh?” he snarled through ground teeth, his glower intensified when you shook your head frantically. “What? You’re in love with it or something? Well, why don’t you live with it then?”

Araki seized Sakuya by the scruff of his neck and dragged you both to the porch. “This is where disobedient wife sleeps!” he declared, dropping Sakuya on to your lap carelessly. “Hope you enjoy your stay.”

You watched his retreating back helplessly and flinched when he slammed the door shut. Pursing your trembling lips, you looked down and caressed Sakuya’s dark fur as a poor attempt of solace.

“It’s alright, now. You’re safe,” you whispered, trying to ignore the slight quiver within your voice. “He’ll be in a better mood tomorrow, and then we can go back inside. We just have to endure sleeping here for tonight.”

‘He’ll be in a better mood tomorrow’. Did that mean he’d locked you out before? Did that mean he’d slapped you before? Sakuya had only met you around a month ago, but it was enough to show him everything he needed to know regarding your daily life.

And with this new information, came another surge of fury strong enough to shapeshifted him into a human.

You could only gape at the sight of his dainty body burst to reveal a leaner, paler one underneath. His hair remained its raven sheen, but the cat ears were probably the sole thing to pinpoint his genuine form. Had the latter weren’t present, you would’ve thought this was his true appearance instead. His eyes were yellow with black slits, smoldering under the tranquil moonlight. He had a boyish face, but his aura suggested otherworldliness and ancient. You averted your gaze from traveling lower, noticing the lack of… fur to cover his private area.

“Are you… my cat?” Would it be foolish of you to ask that? No. That was just natural, wasn’t it? It wasn’t as though you knew what else to say after witnessing what would be a staggering transformation in your whole life.

“Duh,” he retorted. “I’m human. Can you see?”

Yes, you could recognize it perfectly; every detail, except his ears and irises, that just screamed a human throughout. And you didn’t know how to respond to his quip or react.

Then, you spotted it. A large tail, flicking behind him and left a trail of flame in the air. A cat’s tail. How you didn’t notice it before, especially with its substantial size, was beyond your perception.

“Maru, why are there fire on your tail?” you asked shakily.

“I wonder…” he drawled lazily, much to your chagrin. There was a spark of panic that ignited within you when the tail shot up and flared in the sky. “Oh, the name’s Sakuya, by the way.”

His name breezed past your ears at the same speed of his tail that swept your house. The fire kindled your dilated eyes and parched your throat from screaming or uttering anything. You listened to the frenzied screams of your husband and the constant tugging at the front door. The desperation wrenched your heart, but there was nothing you could do than standing and let the blaze engulfed the cabin you once called ‘home’.

You just realized how powerful Maru, no, Sakuya was. Even his grasp on your arms and flinty stare rendered you immobile throughout the arson.

Once the smoke cleared up and exposed the soot and chars littering the ground, you wilted against his grip. Sakuya instinctively kneeled to free your body from its invisible pressure and hugged you, whispering sweet nothings. You stared blankly at the debris despite his solace to break your composure, the shock hindered you from processing the situation properly. It wasn’t long before you broke down, however, and wailed on his shoulder.

“It’s alright, now. You’re safe.” Sakuya mimicked the words you’d spoken to comfort him earlier. It was excruciating to remember how fast the tables had turned, and how your lovely pet soon became your killer.

Sakuya buried his face on your shoulder and smiled, relishing the proximity now that the bastard was no longer exist to separate you both.

Because that was how it should be the moment he encountered you in that riverside; a diligent yet fatigued woman who kept washing the clothes despite the setting sun.

“… I’m here now, [Name], and I’ll always be.”

Sakuya: 昨夜

Araki: 荒木

Maru: まる

#yandere scenario #yandere imagine #yandere oneshot #Yandere bakeneko #yandere bakeneko x reader #yandere yokai #yandere youkai #My writing #yandere oc #yandere original character

[beatricebidelaire]

actually, although i think the geraldine working for the firestarters and deliberating printing wrong news as part of a larger agenda makes sense, i also think vfd is very likely doing the same. even if not deliberating printing false news, probably at least keeping an eye and editing out news they don’t want the general public to know, or trying to fill the newspaper with irrelevant news to distract the public (hence jacques’s fashion editor position. and look - we’ve seen jacques snicket’s writing and if he wants he definitely knows how to write long pieces that doesn’t actually reveal anything. it’s his talent. the reason this is in is because the following two fashion trends that are in turn influenced by these 5 other trends and i cannot go into detail for a reason i will possibly explain in the next issue or maybe not.) and probably also hiding codes and secret messages in the news but that’s pretty basic stuff

fernald burned down the anwhistle aquatics but while he may be the one to light the match its highly likely it’s an order from above and while it’s not directly stated kit’s involved, she did voice her disapproval to gregor and my personal headcanon has always been kit (and widdershins) had a hand in the order fernald got. makes that playing with fire you get burnt letter a bit threatening but, well. anyway.

the thing is that vfd had people in daily punctilio and i think they could totally cover this up if they chose to. fernald was still on their side at that point, don’t they cover up these things? like, the opera night was probably covered up, too, and so many other operations. why not cover up this, if they chose too? perhaps jacques thought it was too big to be covered up and general public or police would eventually find out about it (still, it’s a research center. a research gone wrong is plausible.) but jacques wrote an article. framing fernald is probably not the right phrasing because fernald did set the fire, but it’s definitely not the whole truth. what if jacques thought that he couldn’t risk trying to cover up and failing and leading to an investigation that eventually led back to kit’s involvement? what if this is his way of preemptively protecting kit, by getting this version of truth out there? but still, he’s scapegoating / pinning all the blame on fernald who’s technically still on their side. who, btw, was also far younger than him and kit.

then again, maybe they already caught wind of fernald wanting to switch sides. maybe fernald secretly already switched sides right after, and maybe this was vfd’s way of dealing with traitors. or maybe fernald was originally planned to be a double agent for the firefighters and pretending to switch sides, and the news article was to help with his narrative, to sell the story to the other side? what if he was originally double agent sent to spy on olaf, but eventually, after some other events, fully switched sides?

the double agent theory is a bit more far reaching, but fernald already switching sides is not implausible, and neither is vfd taking their revenge / dealing with a traitor by pinning the whole blame of an arson case on them. and if he’s being pinned all the blame, even though it’s not necessarily framing him for something he didn’t do, i can see how maybe some time later, olaf would try to gain fernald’s loyalty by saying “i’m framing jacques snicket’s brother for arson, like the way jacques snicket framed you” and pretend he’s doing it all for fernald and maybe fernald would fall for that even though olaf was just doing it for himself.

maybe it’s not necessarily a choice between “jacques’s article pushed fernald over to the other side” or “fernald already decided to defect so jacques wrote that article” , maybe both were not the truth, but also maybe both were - at least from the point of view of each of them separately, because incorrect assumptions and miscommunications often play a part when it comes to vfd. but if only the former is true, i do think the factor of protecting kit is what made jacques decided he’s willing to do this to someone on his own side, because kit comes first, she’s his twin, he’s sister, and they may not be close they may not talk often but he would always try to protect her, just like he tried to protect lemony (helping him escape and go on the lam and providing detailed instructions on escaping and trying to keep track of him and trying to clear his name) because they’re his siblings and he loved them. (and if this is the case, i wonder if the opera night operation was exposed, if somehow the scandal got out, would jacques be okay with letting b&b take the fall)

#jacques snicket #fernald #hook handed man #kit snicket #vera.txt #no one: #me: *writes essay abt jacques snicket at 3am*