#he was awkward at first but he figured it out

[dante-mightdie]

But then now I’m thinking Simon in the cult. Price’s right hand man, in charge of the security. He’s often beside Price in the gatherings, either kneeling by the man, his brown eyes full with devotion, or ensuring security with his men (namely, Soap and Gaz). Eventually, Price offers a wife to Simon, because by god Simon isn’t gonna get one himself. The man is just too withdrawn into himself to do it.

Cue the wedding, and the first night together. The bride is shy, Simon even more. They sit on the bed for a while, all dressed up, and then just like going to work, they undress each other. They know how this works. Clearly. But it doesn’t make it any easier. Doesn’t help Simon that he believes he married the prettiest girl and feels like it’s a blessing from the heavens. A reward for his service. So he has to make her happy lest he disappoints anyone.

And now he’s protecting her, too. She’s his prize, and he’d gauge the eyes of anyone who even dared look at her. Poor man is too gone on his pretty wife.

this but simon is just so obssessed with her because his brain views her as validation. clearly, his devotion to the cause is more than satisfactory because why else would price reward him with such a darling wife?

you’re a shy thing, too nervous to meet his eyes when you’re presented to him for the first time. your eyes trained on the floor as you fiddle with your fingers. he can feel the salivation build in his mouth as price rambles on about how your family had raised you proper, in accordance to what price expects of his followers. offhand mentions about how you’ve been prepared your whole life to be a dedicated wife and mother to whomever you’re married off too

the wedding night couldn’t have been more awkward for the pair of you. once the ceremony was over, you were just expected to begin married life with your new husband. your parents send you off with a hug and pride filling their eyes. you’re stuff had already been packed and moved into simon’s home near the edge of the compound

his home is near the forest line due to his role in the cult, protection and security. he’s there in case there’s an unwanted visitors trying to trespass onto the property. and now you’re here to try and take some of his (sometimes) overwhelming devotion to price and the cause

john’s plan was to just leave you be, let you pop out a few babies to calm the hulking man down, keep his balls empty and give him a hot meal to come home too everyday. poor lad has earned it :(

also, just picture that neither of you have slept with anyone before your wedding night. your first time with simon wasn’t unpleasant by any means but it was just clumsy, trying to get each other off and figure out what to do without seeming hopeless. only for simon to spill his load the second you unbuckle his belt, making his ears burn hot :(

#mw2 #cod mw2 #simon riley x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #ghost

[thegoldencontracts]

Twst Guys And Hugs

Floyd hugs you frequently, and he does it rather effortlessly too, in the sense that giving physical affection doesn't fluster him all that much. However, if you're the one to give him a hug and he's in the right mood, you might just catch him off-guard. He's not quite using to being on the receiving end of clinginess, I'm afraid.

Leona's pretty clingy if you've garnered his affection. He'll pull you in for a hug while taking a nap a lot of the time. He loves you, and he especially loves it when you're the one hugging him. Not that he'll ever admit it, of course.

Azul simply sticks to wrapping an arm around you; he prefers more gentlemanly forms of affection like kissing your hand or handholding... At first. One day, likely after you've said something particularly meaningful, he finally drops the gentlemanly act around you, and the moment you're in private, he becomes the clingiest thing you've ever seen.

Jade is usually aiming to fluster you with his careful, practiced affection. He's always leaving you a flustered mess, catching you off-guard nigh effortlessly. But then, you figure out just how terrible he is at handling a taste of his own medicine. Afterwards, you get treated to the ordinarily rare sight of a blushing Jade Leech rather often.

Malleus is rather awkward with hugs, admittedly. He's never really had friends to give him them, after all. It's not until you give him a hug one odd day that he realizes how much he enjoys it, the warmth of it all, the security he feels having your arms wrapped around him. Do attempt this more frequently, child of man. He'll attempt to return the favor as much as he can.

Ace doesn't care about that cheesy shit. He doesn't care about affection in the slightest, really! Why's he hugging you so often, then? He's just trying to get a reaction, duh. A-And on a completely unrelated note, it'd be terrible if you got revenge and hugged him back. Just the worst.

#azul ashengrotto #floyd leech #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar #jade leech #ace trappola #ace trappola x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #malleus draconia x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #disney twisted wonderland

[capricornlevi]

mild nsfw // mdni

roommate!choso who walks home with you after a frat party, keeps you up late talking and venting and oversharing in your cramped little kitchen, and somehow, some way, manages to convince you to help him practice making out.

he claims whole-heartedly that it's because he likes this one girl on campus and is worried she'll turn him down for his lack of experience; he hasn't done much of anything with anyone, and it's a real point of concern with him.

it's not that you think it's something he needs to worry about -- there's nothing wrong with being new to something, especially something as personal as sex -- but you see his point in that it could help him to build confidence.

(that, plus the fact that you had two margaritas: your self-professed horny drink.)

it all seems like a perfectly reasonable idea to be honest, and you press your lips to his without a second thought.

the first night and the two after it consist of just that -- kissing, no tongue. he's nervous, you can tell by the way he stiffens under your touch, how goosebumps form on his arm as you try to guide it to your waist. it makes sense, you figure, since it must be awkward learning this with a friend, especially when you're interested in someone else. you guide him gently and carefully, letting him lead and explore what he likes, and as it turns out, what he likes and what you like are far more similar than you'd expected.

then on week two of this little arrangement, you start incorporating tongue. it's slow, easy, and he melts into it. you're not sure how, but he's better at this part than he was at just kissing, licking into your mouth in a way that makes you see stars --

-- even though this is purely educational, of course.

but then on week three, your thigh grazes against something hard in the front of his shorts. figures, since it's a natural biological reaction, except his hips close the distance, seeking out your touch as though he's craving it. testing the waters, you grind against him and within a second he breaks the kiss, his head tipping back with a low groan he's been holding in for some time.

you crane your neck to press a slow, wet kiss against his exposed throat. as you do so, feeling the reverberations of moans and 'fuck, that feels good' throughout your body, you start to piece a few things together: the way his eyes tend to linger on you as you make your towel-clad dash from the shower to your room, the pretty little blush he gets on his cheekbones when you ask if he's bringing anyone to suguru's valentines party, the fact you've never seen him spend one-on-one time on campus with anyone but --

you pull away and he looks down to meet your gaze, lips kiss-slick and pupils blown.

perfect time to ask your question.

"choso, who's this girl again?"

#choso x reader #choso x you #may tries to write #cw alcohol #choso is so pretty i wanna cry when writing him

[bluebugjay]

usually when im obsessed with a show, the main ship I like is the thing that gets me the most excited and invested in it but honestly with dbda I just love every single aspect of it so so much, everything is on equal standing.

I think it's partly because it doesn't feel like the queerness is in the form of just one couple or one character, it feels imbedded into the whole thing. And i feel like they balance how respectfully done the rep is with also making it entertaining and fun. There's so much queer rep that's about someone figuring out their identity that portray it in this miserable light and as much as dbda shows the struggles with Edwin, it doesn't narrow it down to this travesty a character has to eventually accept and get over. He gets to have crushes and first kisses and awkward little walk-and-talk dates, talks with Niko about 'the boy he likes' and gay panics whilst also struggling with coming to terms with who he is and hiding it from people. It feels so much more real that even though it's not easy and it takes him time, he gets to have fun with it too.

#because at the end of the day its love #and obviously it doesnt end with Edwin but hes the one going through an acceptance journey #every other queer character is so casual and cool about it which i also loveeeee #dead boy detective agency #edwin payne #dead boy detectives #dbda

[rav-not-found]

Heyy! I saw you wanted to try out writing a request or two, so here I am✨

I was wondering if I could request a Dean and/or Sam winchester x reader (sepperately if you choose to do both, like two sepperate one shots in the same post) with an established relationship where they get a motel room that only has two beds, so reader has to share a bed with the winchester they're with, and it's just some awkward fluff where both are just figuring things out in this fresh relationship

Thank you!!

there was only two beds -

I love that actually!

———————————————-

Dean winchester x reader, established relationship, fluff

————————————————————————-

Its been a Long drive to Colorado for this seemingly complicated case, it seemed like forever since you have gotten a good nights sleep and tomorrow morning you have to hit the morgue first thing if you want to see the bodies before they are transported to the funeral homes.

you want nothing more than to go kick your boots, peel the layers of clothing off of you and Finally lay down, but to your surprise when Dean opens the motel room, there was only two beds.

All three of you look at each other, unsure who should go in first or where - but before you can really think about it Sam shrugs and goes directly on the closest bed to the door, drops his things, and into the shower he goes

“what a bitch” Dean says with a roll of his eyes, making his way to the other bed before you stop him

“wait where will I sleep then??”

he looks at you a little confused, then a little awkwardness can be seen on his usually confident face

“I- uhm” he clears his throat, “I assumed we’d sleep together?- I mean- not like that- of course not like that its been a long day but I meant- if you dont want to I can sleep on the couch its fine-“

you find it hard not to crack a smile at the usually confident and full of bravado Dean who is now closer to an awkward teenager in his first sleep over

“oh no no its okay- im- don’t worry its alright I don’t mind-“ you say with a small chuckle, a little awkward yourself

he goes to put his bag away and places yours next to it, he unpacks a change of clothes for himself and then looks at you hesitantly before reaching into your bag and getting one for you as well

and for a moment there between the silent movements and shuffling of fabrics, you get to see how softly he holds your belongings, how much care and love he exudes for a pair of pants or an old band t-shirt, and god if you could fall in love all over again….

he gets up from where he had placed the bags on the ground and hands the fresh clothes to you, avoiding eye contact like the plague of course.

“..Thanks Dean, appreciate it”

“yeah dont mention it” he risks a look at your soft smile, and a blush starts to creep up his neck, to which he quickly breaks the moment “SAM ARE YOU GONNA BE THERE ALL NIGHT?? WE HAVE BEEN IN THE CAR FOR THE LAST TEN HOURS TOO YOU KNOW.”

you laugh a little at his chosen method of checking on his brother, but it actually works quite quickly as Sam comes out in the next couple of minutes and flips him off. you laugh again.

Dean asks if youd like to go in first, Sam strongly suggests you take him on that offer before he “grossens up the place”, but for deans luck youre a little more tolerant than Sam and you let him go first

the moment hes in, you can see Sam unpacking and putting things aside before he sleeps, but he throws you a look or two of acknowledgment, which make the silence a little less awkward - but not completely.

“do you think I upset him when I didnt assume we’d be sleeping in the same bed?” you asked in a low voice, hoping the walls arent too thin

Sam looks at you with a small smile and a soft look, “nah I think hes just not really used to how….normal relationships function I guess? I think hes more scared of upsetting you than anything”

“oh” it just hits you now that you might be this guys first actual relationship in years, and the awkwardness might not be only from your side of the coin “oh god did I scare him?”

Sam, now laughing, “honestly? maybe, he is a little more insecure than he lets on; but I think you can just assure him and itll be okay” he shakes the chuckle in his throat away “honestly for a couple who are both older than me, it feels like im watching a highschool first crush first relationship kind of situation”

“oh fuck off like youve never had an awkward moment before”

Sam contemplates for a moment “sure yeah, when I was 16”

and with that, you also flip him off, making his success rate of getting flipped off today 2 out of 2 times a 100%

he chuckles and seemingly actually lays down to sleep this time

and conveniently enough for you, Dean comes out of the shower just then, leaving you no time to sit alone in the unsettling motel silence

“I uh” he clears his throat again, youre starting to think he does that whenever he’s nervous “I cleaned it for you - contrary to what Sam might think Im actually good at cleaning so….youre all good to go”

he also avoids your eyes mostly saying this looking down or around before going in the beds direction while you’re going to the bathroom, when you pass each other in the middle, you give him a quick kiss on the cheek and whisper a sincere thank you directly on his skin, he mumbles a “no problem” under his breath in that overly deep voice of his when hes awkward, and makes quick strides to the bed as you go to take a long awaited shower.

when you come out, all clean and fresh, you notice the clothes you are gonna wear neatly folded in pile on the bed next to a “sleeping” Dean who is so tense you could use him as a rock solid analogy, and trying to take such little space its almost funny seeing this six foot man trying to be so small

you change quietly to not wake up Sam, then slide in bed behind Dean and hug him from the back, to which he tenses even more - if thats even possible - before slowly relaxing into your hold

“you okay?” you ask in a whisper, unsure if hes gonna continue playing asleep or will actually reply to you

his reply comes half a minute later “I should be asking you that”

“and why would that be?” you say back, trying to put as much sass in a whisper as you can

“you know why.” if eye rolls could be heard, you just heard it in his voice

before you get to reply though, he continues

“im sorry I didnt really think when I was asking for the room and im so used to asking for doubles because its usually just me and Sam- I didnt mean to make you uncomfortable or assume anything I know this is all a pretty new arrangement and-“

you cut him off, “hey hey hey… Dean, its okay, I swear im not uncomfortable I was honestly just surprised by the bed sizes, it didnt look like itd fit two people, but when you said we’d be together I knew we would be able to fit because I trust your judgment okay? and I have definitely had worse sleeping arrangements than being tightly stacked next to my male-model-pretty boyfriend you know?” your voice was low but soft, full of sincerity

you can hear him chuckle lightly before turning around to face you, “its just been a while since ive had a similar… situation, with anyone - and I really dont want to fuck this up…I really like you you know?”

it was your turn to chuckle now, “I know, and I really really like you too, Dean. Believe me itd take more than a tight bed to get me to even slightly be annoyed at you, youre fine, were fine, okay?” you pause to give him a light kiss “and if Im being completely honest with you, I was kind of hoping this would happen because I really need one of your strong hugs to put my bones back in place after todays drive”

he huffs out a laugh and gives you a kiss too, “in that case, I will gladly become a weighted compression blanket” he says as he changes your positions.

now holding you impossibly close, he hugs you tightly and pulls the covers over your shoulders, with his nose in your hair and your face to his neck, you start drifting to sleep

“I love you” you say in an almost undiscernible whisper, half asleep

“I love you too” he whispers back to himself as he is sure you’re already no longer awake

he stays awake for a bit more in the quiet soft night, holding you tightly and softly smiling to himself

“I love you too” he says once more before falling victim himself to sleep

——————————————————————

this is my first fluff one shot since I tried writing for the first time a year ago or so so I really hope you like it !!^^

and thank you for the request^^

#dean winchester #Dean winchester x reader #fluff #awkward fluff #Sam winchester #gender ambiguous reader

[cubeofanhilation]

How I think dpxdc would go

The whole gang graduated high school, and one of them got an invite to Wayne gala (idk which yet) and they decide to make a whole trip out of it. So they all decide to sight see in the second most fucked up city, attempts to get her hands on fear toxin, Tucker tries to track down Oracle, Danny ends up accedentily fight crime,

Danny: *finishing up with some random mugging, and see’s Jason* yo why tf you dead

Jason, taken aback by the comment: *shoots him in the kneecap, and it goes right through Danny*

Danny: …

Jason: …

Danny: I'm going to take this as my que to leave *yeets outta there*

Jason: wtf

and Wes?He takes this as a fucking challenge, he tries to figure out who the batfamily is, so he purposely gets himself kidnapped so he can get a better look, and he immediately figures everything out, (they're bad at hiding it, and Wes is batshit insane, we love him for that). He meets Bernard around then, probably fresh out of kiddnapping (see previous post) Then they head to Wes’s uncle's house, and everyone

sees the E. Nygma on the mailbox and then Wes then casually reveals The Riddler is his uncle, and he's married to the penguin and everyones like “wow that explains a lot” then they end up playing some stupid game like clue or something, until it turns out the Quinnzels were coming for dinner. That includes, Harley Quinn Poison Ivy, Bud & Lou, and Tempest (long story as to why they're there, can elaborate if anyone's interested) Wes then proceeds to tell everyone he figured out all the bat identities (previously telling his friends, Danny first because he's in love), and the Riddler and the penguin start feeling awkward because now they're the only ones who don't know who batman is.

Then it's the next day, Tucker and Sam check out the sketchiest places because, it's fun, and surprises everyone (maybe including some of the batfamily) with how prepared they are to deal with this shit.

Danny and Wes go on a date because they're adorable. They end up getting lunch, then going out and stalking two-face, because Danny hates evil, and Wes doesn't trust lawyers. They easily stop him from robbing a bank or whatever, and th n the batfamily shows up and Wes is like “nope! Not being interrogated again!” Picks up Danny bridal style and runs away

Then comes the gala, first off

Babs: how would you know that I'm Oracle?

Tucker: my best friend is a mad lad, anyways-

*Cut to Wes hovering over Tim like “I k n o w w h a t y o u a r e!”*

Chaos breaks, shenanigans ensue, by the end the ghost gang ends up in the bat cave and they clear everything up, and maybe start an alliance, also Danny is like “dude the ectoplasm that resurrected you is not completely out of you're system in a healthy way yet! You gotta do something” and throws supplements at Jason.

#unidentified flying ship #DCU #dc x dp #danny phantom #danny fenton #sam manson #wes weston #Tucker Foley #Tim drake #Bernard dowd #Jason Todd #batfam #This prompt is free for anyone to use #I might use it but I have writer's block rn :/ #Amity Park is actually the most fucked up city in america #sorry guys #i should be asleep #I feel like Damian and Sam would be bros #Since they both hate humans and all

[ninyard]

how do you think jean would be post tsc duology with his sexuality with jeremy like i feel like he’s been put into this submissive role at the nest but idk if that was something he enjoyed

Oh you’ve opened a can of worms anon. Here’s a not so short but typically messy, as per usual, look into Jean’s sexuality.

Firstly, I think there are a million different nuances and anomaly’s and sides to Jean’s sexuality. Jean Moreau: whose first girlfriend was a plane ticket to the United States. We don’t know much about his childhood, but we can only imagine it wasn’t pleasant; If he’s anything like Neil, did he date at all as a kid/young teen?

So - let’s picture it. We’re a little while into Jean’s time with the Trojans, we're a little while into Jean and Jeremy figuring each other out, and the sex conversations comes up.

Now, personally, I don't believe that Jean's response to his trauma is anything like Andrew's - we've seen he doesn't seem to have an issue being touched, and nor does he seem to have an issue with sexuality in general. But things that I believe he does have a problem with?

His sexuality, and knowing what he wants vs what he believes is expected of him.

I think Jean has an incredible amount of shame around his interest in men. Most of it having been beaten into him, instilled by Riko into him. I think his gut response to pull away and reject advances and pretend his interest in men doesn't exist comes mostly from that, or from hearing Kevin say to him that it was far too difficult a life to be the child of a legacy and interested in men. How the public would react, how professional exy teams and the media would respond; it's always easier to be heterosexual. It always has been.

The first hurdle Jean has to jump over is that; allowing himself to desire men, to feel like that is okay, to feel like he deserves the way that Jeremy looks at him. The Trojans help, far more than they even know. Cat and Laila help. All of the queer couples and out-and-proud folks on the team help. Immeasurably. It normalises it for him, and he sees how safe they are, how unpunished they are, and whether its subconscious or not, being around them all really helps destroy his bone-deep shame. But he gets past it. At some stage he admits that his sexuality is unimportant to him, as it truly is, but he feels comfortable enough say well, yes, his attraction does also extend to men. It will never be more important that Exy. But it exists. It just eventually becomes a far smaller deal to him that it had originally been.

Skip some time, some awkward and painful conversations, and Jean and Jeremy are together. How that happens, I don't know - do they hook up first? Do they date for a while before they get there? But, when they get there, there comes this point a handful of times in where Jeremy realises he has been leading their encounters a whole lot more than Jean is. In fact, when he thinks about it, as comfortable as Jean insists that he is, he is not in control at all. He follows Jeremy's lead. Jeremy thinks about Kevin's awkward comment the day he was asked to sign Jean.

"Tell me what you want." Jeremy says, having thought too much about it, having wondered if he was imagining things.

"You," Jean responds, maybe. "That is all."

Jeremy sits back and he looks at him, and Jean looks back with that gorgeous and confused look draped across his pale complexion. Somehow they talk for a little while, and find themselves at the point:

Is this how you actually want to have sex, or is it just how you think I want you to have sex?

And Jean doesn't know. It's the question that sends him spiralling, because he hasn't even realised it. He hasn't noticed how he is simply complacent, uninvested in his own desires and pleasure in order to keep Jeremy happy. It's not that he doesn't get pleasure from it, of course he does, but he will not take a step out of line if Jeremy is happy. I think he might have to stop for a while, stepping back from sex while he tries to understand his relationship with sex itself. He's too used to being used and having expectations put on him that he knows no different. He doesn't know what he likes. He doesn't know if he prefers to top or bottom, to be submissive or dominant, or any other thing like that; it's a no-mans land that he's spent far too long people-pleasing in that he's forgotten that he's allowed to enjoy it as well. So I think that takes a lot of time and unlearning to see his own pleasure as something worthy of investigating.

Jeremy is patient, of course, and while he sees how much of a "step back" Jean has taken in terms of being okay with sex, it's worth it; sure, Jean never much had a problem with it, and maybe bringing it up caused a problem, but it sparks that thought in Jean's brain. That curiosity about whether or not the role that he plays during sex has been built by the nest, or if it's what he genuinely likes to do. As I say, it takes a lot of unlearning for Jean. A lot of unpacking of what happened to him, and a lot of really, really hard conversations.

His body is his own, and he knows that now. It does not belong to Jeremy. Again, not that Jeremy thinks so either, to be very clear. He knows Jeremy doesn't think so. Not one bit. But he has to understand that himself. He doesn't have to read Jeremy's micro expressions to figure out what he wants him to do, he doesn't have to just keep him happy. Intimacy can only exist in an environment where it is reciprocated. And while he cares deeply for Jeremy, if he is ignoring his own desires in order to maintain peace, he is not being genuine. He is simply submitting because that's the only option he's known. That's the only choice he's ever had.

I think Jean loves sex - I think Jean really, really enjoys having sex with Jeremy. I just think it's also evident quite quickly that he isn't even thinking about how he affords Jeremy all of the control in every scenario. Jean is submissive because that's all he knows. And I feel like it takes a while and a lot of talking for him to leave that habit behind and freely, unashamedly, fuck without expectation for him to be a certain way or act a certain way. That doesn't mean he has to be a top or a bottom. It does mean that he has to stop himself from studying every twitch and tell on Jeremy's face to try understand completely what the Captain expects of him.

#i don't know at all if this has conveyed the point i'm trying to make. #so once again apologies if this makes no sense at all #jean moreau #jeremy knox #aftg #tfc #the foxhole court #all for the game #tsc #the sunshine court

[autumnmobile12]

Helluva Boss S2 Trailer:  “You don’t love mother and you don’t love me!”

I have a problem with this line, and I’ve had a problem with Octavia’s character for awhile now, so I’m going to talk about it.

To cut her some slack, her house and family life is a mess.  Fighting parents, cheating dad, feeling neglected by both parents, and she’s a teenager on top of that.  I get it.  Moody, angsty teen with a really good reason for being moody and angsty.

And Stolas isn’t blameless in all this.  With the cheating, he’s actively a problem, but we can see that he loves his ‘little owlet.’  But he is a terrible father.  In the Seeing Stars episode, I thought that it was going to be a lot more Stolas and Octavia-centric on their relationship, but no.  He and Blitzo spend most of the time looking for her just dicking around in some human comedy act when they really didn’t need to be there.  Seriously, it wouldn’t have been the first time Blitzo massacred a group of humans to get out of an awkward situation, but if Stolas is so concerned about his daughter, then why didn't he do something about their situation? If he loves his daughter so much, why is he okay with this distraction? He's not even the one who gets him out of it in the end.  That was the first time Helluva Boss actually disappointed me.  I don’t think the brief bit of backstory we got with Blitzo and Loona justified the rest of that whole bit, so it was really pointless.  That piece could have been handled better.

Throughout the Stolitz ship, Stolas is 100% ignoring Octavia.  But terrible dad aside, the line from the Season 2 trailer, “You don’t love Mother and you don’t love me!” should be emotional.

Except…. “You don’t love Mother….”

…why would he?

Does Octavia not see what a violent, toxic bitch her mom is?  She has seen her screaming, getting violent, and throwing things. I suppose Octavia could have the opinion that Stella's anger is justified with the cheating and all, but then that explanation implies she thinks reacting violently like that is acceptable behavior. And let’s not forget Stella straight up ordered a hit on Stolas, which nearly succeeded.  Does Octavia not know about this?  Again, Stolas being a terrible dad for not taking steps to get the daughter he supposedly loves away from the psycho who ordered an assassination, but did none of this get back to Octavia?

Not that any of it makes Stolas' infidelity okay. If you're unhappy in a relationship, leave it. But with the way Stella behaves, there's no rational way Octavia can expect her parents to love each other. It sucks to be the child in that position, especially a teen still figuring things out, but that is very much an 'it is what it is' situation and you gotta make the best of it in whatever way you can.

As it stands, it isn't fair for Octavia to entirely blame Stolas for their family falling apart.

"You don't love mother and you don't love me," makes it sound like Octavia is consciously choosing her violent, narcissistic witch of mother over her dad. This also doesn't make sense with the plot because there's no sign of Octavia having a close relationship with her mom. There are no portraits of them together in a loving embrace as we see with her and Stolas. Plus, Stella doesn't care about Octavia. The only two times in the show she vaguely mentions her is as the 'one egg that finally dropped out of her' and when she and Andrealphus are discussing the inheritance that will go to Octavia. She doesn't care about Stolas either. The only effect the cheating had on her was the idea of public embarrassment for their family.

Neither of Octavia's parents care for her the way they should, so for the, "You don't love mother and you don't love me," line to work to its fullest impact, it should have been phrased as, “You don’t love me!  Neither you or Mom love me!”

I do love Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel…but Octavia’s character is really poorly handled.  I remember it being said in an interview that Helluva Boss does have heavier focus on its male characters while Hazbin Hotel was supposed to be more female-centric, but when it comes to Octavia, that structure in the storytelling is crumbling under its own weight. There is a story here and it has some major gaps that need addressing.

To give them some benefit of doubt, maybe this’ll be addressed in an episode before that line hits, so maybe it’ll make more sense. Or they could make it clear she said it out of anger.  At least, I hope so because I really need some righteous retribution for how Stolas behaves with his daughter.

#helluva boss #octavia #stolas #stella #blitzo #stolitz #season 2 #criticism #vivziepop #18+ series

[unformula1]

So… corny (LN4 x male!reader)

lando likes you w/c: 612 a/n: happy pride month ! (masterlist)

“Happy pride month!” Lando says as you walk into the room.

You raise an eyebrow and stare at him, confused.

“Okay, rude.” He scoffs and kicks his feet up onto the table, glaring at you.

“Thank… you?” You say, still a little unsure.

“That’s more like it!” He claps and goes back to scrolling his phone.

“I’m not…” You hesitate, not sure how to phrase this, “How did you know?”

“It’s really not that hard!” Lando shrugs, “You radiate that energy.”

“How… what?” You look at Lando, confused.

“You’re clueless!” Lando sighs, exasperated, “My gaydar is never wrong.” He smirks confidently.

“Doesn’t explain much.” You shake your head.

“The accounts you follow on basically all your socials! Your posts from 2018 onward, it’s basically an open book!” Lando says.

“So you stalked me?” 

“What!? No-” Lando’s legs drop off the table, “No, wait- well when you phrase it like that.”

You nod as Lando facepalms.

“I appreciate it.” You say as you take a seat next to Lando and pat him on the shoulder.

“It’s not like it was unprompted, it’s because-” Lando trips over his own words, “Someone asked me and I thought I’d go find out!”

You nod but slightly slower, giving Lando an awkward smile.

“Yea… okay.” You pat his shoulder slightly harder.

“You’re not like… insulted… or anything, right?” Lando asks.

“No! Not at all.” You say.

“Well, I also found a couple of gems!” He says as he holds up his phone with a screenshot of your old post.

“Oh-” You gasp, “Oh hell no!”

Lando laughs at your reaction and swipes, showing you another.

A message drops from Lando’s phone. 

you should just ask him

And another.

he might say yes

You shrug them off quickly as Lando swipes again.

“How many did you take!?” 

“Like… thirty!” He smiles proudly.

“I’m gonna beat you up.” You say.

“Hey!” Lando leans back, “You aren’t flattered?”

“What?” 

“Nothing. Pretend I never said that.” He quickly stashes away his phone.

“Well, of course I’m flattered!” You chuckle, “It’s been a while since someone has given me this much attention/”

“Oh?” He says, “Really!?” He says, but more excitedly.

“Yea, I mean-” You speak with your hands a lot more, hoping to bring across a point.

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t need to! Just know I’m flattered.” You say and Lando smiles really wide.

You sigh.

“Usually guys get to this point and say ‘just know i’m not like into you or anything’” You say, horribly mimicking a deep voice.

“Oh well I won’t say that!” Lando says.

“Because you’re into me?” You provoke.

“What- No, wait, I mean, yes?” He chokes on his words, “Probably, I don’t know- maybe? I’m confused.”

“You just said 5 different answers in 2 seconds.” You chuckle.

He buries his face.

“I don’t know.” 

You feel bad for that now. You take a deep breath.

“I didn’t know either. You’ll figure it out, eventually.” You assure him while patting his back, “Take your time.”

“You don’t…” Lando hesitates, “It’s not going to be weird right?”

“No, never.” You say, “After all, I would know all about it!”

“Right, yea.” Lando looks at you, “It’s just been a tad bit confusing lately.”

“First off, don’t say ‘tad’, it sounds silly.” You joke, “Secondly, it’s going to be confusing, just give it all a minute to make sense.”

“You’re pretty.”

“I know-” You smirk, “Thank you.”

“Is it mutual?”

“Very much.”

“Oh.”

“Cool.”

That was… a lot more casual than expected. You and Lando lock eyes for a second and you smile which fills Lando with warmth as he smiles back.

God this is absolutely corny.

#f1 #formula 1 #formula one #f1 fandom #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #not beta read #mclaren #lando norris x y/n #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x male reader #f1 fanfiction #f1 fluff #lando norris x you #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 fluff #ln4 x male reader #lando norris x male reader

[ms-cartoon]

Now see? What I tell ya? What. Did. I. Tell. Y'all!

I knew they we're gonna do this! What I say, "instead of Stolas being in the wrong for how he treats Blitzo, they're gonna make the latter the bad guy for how he "treats" Stolas. Because blah blah blah, Blitzo doesn't love Stolas back, blah blah he's not considerate of Stolas's feelings for him, blah blah he's being mean, blah blah, he needs to give Stolas a chance."

This is what I said on my post about the trailer

There is so much that needs to be said about this episode, for now however, I need to discuss this little conversation turned argument between the fandom's main couple

A little off-topic, but first of all, I really don't like how Blitzo's feelings for Stolas are retconned in between seasons. He went from hating Stolas and dreading a night of sex with him to actually sort of liking him and being so afraid that Stolas might be bored with him that he'll figure out ways to impress him with a bunch of sex toys. Him worrying about how complicated it is with Stolas, being nervous and giddy about how the meeting is gonna turn out? Being excited about having a night of sex with him and thinking dirty thoughts?? I can't tell if it's just Blitzo being perverted and horny or what, but it doesn't feel right. It's like these two switched roles or something.

Cuz where the hell did all this come from???

We don't even get a scene with them after the Ozzie's incident. Blitzo just told Stolas to screw off before driving away that episode, and there was NO conversation about it! It was a whole "Now you see it, now you don't" after 3 episodes with the aftermath being through text instead of in-person.

It made it seem like Blitzo was just DONE with Stolas while reluctantly pursuing the agreement.

Now the show is just in and out with them acting like boyfriends to them feeling awkward and distant. Like Viv, Adam, whoever is in charge of writing these relationships-- pick a lane!!

Anyway, back to the topic

Like everyone has been saying that I 100% agree with, Stolas is just a self-insert of Vivziepop: As soon as Viv is called out by us critiques, she'll throw a fit, cry, and resent us because we don't like her or her show (or we do like the show to some degree, it's just lacking the potential that it needs), and we're saying things about her that she doesn't like (despite them being true), therefore, she won't hold accountability for these things. And this is how Stolas is acting. Blitzo is calling him out, Stolas doesn't like it despite it being true and he turns it around on Blitzo for thinking so negatively of him, and won't admit when he's wrong.

Is Viv doing this on purpose? I'm starting to feel like she knows what she's doing here?

What really grinds my gears is when after Blitzo tells him off, Stolas tears up, being the dramatic pity me crybaby BITCH that he is, and says this--

"I wanted you for so long. The fact that you couldn't believe that I might have these feelings about you, that your first instinct is- that it's always about sex. That's enough to know what this is."

I know he didn't- ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME!! That is literally THE MOST hypocritical thing he's ever said since he's existed in this show. I know I shouldn't be shocked at this point, but I am just so APPALLED that I want to laugh (I'm laughing right now). I had to hear that line more than two times to make sure I wasn't deaf when he said that.

So he mentions Blitzo not believing that he might have feelings for him the entire time, almost as if he's shocked by this. "Oh my gosh! I can't believe you don't believe that I'm in love with you!" Have you really given him any reason to believe you might be in love with him, Stolas??? Literally the first thing that came to mind when you two see each other for the first time as adults was, "You came here to ravish me, did you?" You sure as hell weren't loving him then! In what moment have you shown you might be in love him? And I don't want anybody bringing up any kind of excuse from season 2. Season 2 is a whole ass retcon anyway and Stolas's "love" for Blitzo just developed outta nowhere from ep 7 of season 1 to now. So none of it counts.

And then you have THIS part of the line--

"The fact that you think it's always about sex when I'm actually i'm love you."

No you stupid bitch!! That's you!

And then there's this---

"I didn't realize you thought so lowley if me."

Do I even need to explain anything to prove this how false these lines are??? Of course not! Cuz I feel like it should be obvious at this point. So instead, I'll put my "Reasons why I hate Stolas" post.

I swear, it's like the writers suddenly decided they wanna switch roles on these two. Where Stolas feels like Blitzo is messing with his feelings and Blitzo is the horny bastard who doesn't actually care about love when really it's the other way around on both ends. I swear this whole confrontation was thought out so poorly. Viv (or whoever is in charge of writing this EP) clearly doesn't keep track of what goes on in her shows. Or maybe she does, but she just doesn't care, and just changes things so that the story turns out the way she wants it without being logical about it. Stolas saying something like, "Your first instinct is sex." or "How can you not believe I'm not in love with you?" To Blitzo? It makes no sense!! Because sex was always on HIS mind!! HE hasn't shown ANY genuine love that didn't involve sex. So he shouldn't have ANY room to be judging Blitzo. They're whole relationship and the way that it is now; that's all STOLAS'S fault. Sure, Blitzo kind of started it so it's on him too, but Stolas was the one that pursued it despite Blitzo making it very clear he didn't like him. Not to mention he's been manipulative towards him.

I swear, I'm so done with Stolas. He better not pull this shit on his daughter istg. Ur feeling all sad cuz Blitzo doesn't live u back. Cry me a river you poor excuse for a father!

And I can't believe there are some fans out there that are siding with him too. Normally I wouldn't care what fans would think cuz sometimes, there's no changing their mind. But it's like . . . Did we watch the same show??

#helluva boss criticism #helluva boss #helluva boss critique #helluva boss critical #critique #anti helluva boss #vivziepop critical #helluva boss stolas #anti stolitz #stolas #anti stolas #stolas critical

[justporo]

What would Astarion be like if he noticed his love was feeling down? Would he be able to comfort Tav, or would it be all horridly awkward for him?

Ah hello anon! What a wonderful question. And I do have thought about that before.

I do have some headcanon posts and I guess even a fic about that? But let me talk about this for a second.

I guess both would be true actually: he would be able to but it would be awkward, at least in the beginning. This man probably didn't comfort anyonre for the last two hundred years. The only thing to go off is probably what he himself would have wished for in comfort. So especially if he's at a point with his partner where they are already sorta established I guess he would absolutely try his best to comfort a partner.

Does he know how tho? Absolutely not. So the first time probably looks like Sheldon Cooper handing someone a cup of tea and going "naw, naw" while patting your shoulder awkwardly. He tried though.

And because I figure Astarion is good at reading people - because he had to be as a survival mechanism - he puts his brain juice all into figuring out how to comfort his love. Because he definitely doesn't want them to feel down. So he learns and observes, and with time I can see him get quite good with these sorts of things. Figuring out exactly what his partner needs.

So, that's my five cents on the matter. And here are what I've written thus far about it as well if you wanna take a look!

Astarion pulling his partner out of a bad mood (headcanons)

Astarion battling his partner's insecurities (headcanons)

Astarion comforting his partner (headcanons)

It's where my demons hide (fic where Astarion comforts his partner after they had a nightmare, spoiler: he sucks ass about it)

Brewing Storms (fic where Astarion comforts Tav because of their fear of thunderstorms)

Also know I've come to realise that this is a trope I've written and thought about a lot, lmao.

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #astarion x tav #poro answers #poro headcanons

[primeofprimes115]

The Girl with the Glasses + Secret

Notes before entering: Smut involved

You've always wanted to figure out who the good-looking girl with the glasses was. 

Every time you were at the Dive Bar, she and her friends would show up. 

You were pretty shy to approach her since you had butterflies in your stomach every time she showed up, you just wanted to ask her out, but you kept pushing yourself away because you thought you would screw up and scare her away. 

You kept your distance and had an eye on her, little did you know she would look at you when you weren't looking. 

It was awkward when she caught you looking at her, you would quickly look away and blush hard, her friends even noticed you looking at her and waved at you in which you waved back shyly. 

You didn't know how to talk to girls (you liked) properly, you've never had good luck with them. 

"I see you looking at her again Y/N" the bartender rested her elbow on the table after passing your drink. 

"What? No no, I wasn't looking at her... I was... Looking at the thing behind her" you blushed trying to play it off. 

"mhmm, don't lie, you're definitely giving her heart eyes when she ain't looking, I've caught you staring at her a lot within the past few weeks" she teased. 

"I just *sigh* I want to know her; do you know her name?" 

"Yes, I do, it's Kara Danvers, she comes here often with her friends and sister, judging from the fact you been looking at her, you're obviously interested in her" she continued. 

"y-yes, fine I admit it... She just looks... Beautiful and I'm just too shy to even go up to her and talk normally, I don't feel confident" you watch as she laughs with her group of friends and sister, her smile is what made your heart ache, it made butterflies in your stomach just by looking at her, blushing as you thought about it. 

"I'll tell you one thing, Kara has looked at you when you weren't looking, she knows you stare at her when she isn't looking, I understand that you're not good at talking to girls you like, my fiancé was like that when we first met" she said letting you know it's a good thing to be shy. 

"If you want, I can get her to come over here and talk with you if that sounds better?" she asked. 

"y-y-yeah... That sounds a bit better for me actually" you blushed lightly. 

The bartender exits the counter and walks towards where Kara was with her friends and sister while you looked on and had thoughts running in your mind. 

"What do I say? What do I say?" you thought to yourself "what do I ask her? How do I ask her?". 

You stopped thinking as soon as you saw Kara behind the bartender approach you. 

"hi" Kara greeted you while you looked at her shyly. 

"h-hi" you chucked nervously, waving awkwardly at her. 

"Y/N here wanted to know about you, he's bad at talking to girls he likes and didn't feel confident to approach you" the bartender said to Kara. 

"Oh really?" she asked softly, raising her glasses back up to her eyes. 

"y-yes, I didn't want to scare you away" you felt very embarrassed to admit it, you tuck her hands behind your back and looked down to the floor. 

"Aww its ok, you don't need to feel embarrassed about it, Y/N, but I've never seen a boy be this shy before, and it's ok... I think it's cute" Kara comforts you and smiles, you blush and smile weakly, looking up at her to see her smile, butterflies were in your stomach still. 

"I'll tell you what, how about you come to meet the rest my friends and sister? You'll feel a bit better after and honestly, I would like to know you more since your pretty adorable" she giggled softly and kept her cute smile on her face. 

"I would... Like that" your smile grew brighter, you walked off with Kara and looked back at the bartender who give you a wink and thumbs up in which you smiled back. 

"Kara's back, and oh? She's brought the boy with her" the red-haired female spoke out. 

"Everyone, this is Y/N, as you know him as the shy boy who's been looking at me" Kara blushes a little thinking about it. 

"hi" you waved, and half smiled. 

"Hey Y/N, I'm Kara's sister, Alex" the red-haired female rose from her seat and offered you a handshake. 

"Y/N this Is James, Winn, Maggie and J'onn" Kara introduced you to the others. 

"J'onn?" you asked, looking at the man Kara pointed to. 

"J'onn is a Martian and the director of the DEO, and I work at the DEO, so does Winn" Alex answered you. 

"it's good to meet you Y/N" J'onn said with a smile on his face. 

"Your sister is a DEO Agent? I wasn't expecting to hear that" you were shocked to hear what you just heard a few seconds ago. 

"Kara was surprised when she found out I worked for the DEO, you're not the only one". 

"Yep, I was as shocked as you are" Kara half smiles towards you. 

"Which raises the question, where do you work Y/N?" James asked you. 

"Well actually, I'm still looking for work, I just moved here 3 weeks ago, first friend I made here was the bartender" you told everyone. 

"Ever thought of working at Cat-Co?" Kara asked. 

"Cat-Co Worldwide Media? The uh... Reporter, news place like The Daily Planet in Metropolis?" 

"Kara works at Cat-Co, she's a writer and reporter, it's her job" Winn mentions. 

"Oh, that sounds interesting" you thought out loud. 

"I used to work at The Daily Planet before moving here to work at Cat-Co, I'm actually the boss for now" James reveals. 

"Yep, you're the boss alright" Kara chuckles. 

"Well, technically I have written stories before, ever heard of Heroes of Olympus?" you spoke out. 

"Yes, that story is popular around the world, wait... You helped write it with Rick Jordan?" Winn asked leaning in due to excitement. 

"Yep, I helped Rick Jordan write out the stories, dating back to 2014 till now (2016) oh I almost forgot, my last name is L/N, if y'all are wondering" you chuckled, starting to get comfortable with the group as Kara smiled at you. 

"No wonder your name sounded familiar, I'm such a huge fan of the books" Winn shakes your hand, honoured to recognise who you actually were. 

"It would be nice to have someone like you at Cat-Co, just be aware that Snapper will be on your case sometimes" Kara didn't sound happy when mentioning Snapper. 

"Guessing he's a grumpy too shoes?" you asked. 

"Quite literally, yes". 

(a few days later) 

"Hey Y/N, welcome to your first day at Cat-Co" you walked into your new job and was greeted by James. 

"Thanks James, I'm a bit nervous but I'll be fine" you said with a half-smile "where's Kara?" 

The elevator dings and out comes Kara with written work and all kinds of stuff she takes with her. 

"Oh hi!" she put down her belongings and swung her arms around the back of your neck, giving you a hug. 

"Hey Kara" you wrap your arms around her, smiling brightly. 

"I'm so glad you're here!" she was very excited. 

James smiled as you and Kara pulled back, smiling into each other's eyes. 

"Kara, you don't mind showing Y/N where he'll be working, I've gotta speak with Cat today about the business" James politely asked Kara. 

"Yeah! I would love to!" she smiled and looked at you "c'mon, let's show you where you're working" she grabs her belongings and drags you with her, chuckling at how cute and happy Kara is right now... Until... 

"Ponytail, you're late again". 

"Oh, hello Snapper, what is it?" Kara's mood changed. 

"Have you finished the report you were tasked to do? Because it's been 2 weeks!" he didn't sound happy at all, just grumpy. 

"Who the hell is this?" he then asked, pointing rudely at you. 

"That's Y/N L/N, he's the new one, and he's done writing before if you haven't just realised, he helped Rick Jordon write a Heroes of Olympus book back in 2014 to this year (2016)". 

"Is that so? Well, I'll tell you something Y/N, we don't write fantasies and fiction here, so I hope you get that in your mind" he spat out. 

"Have the report by my desk soon Danvers" he walked off, you looked back at him with a pissed off look. 

"What an asshole, why does he work here just to harass people?" you asked with a facial expression of 'I really hate this guy'. 

"Probably wakes up on the wrong side of the bed all the time, don't worry, I won't let him harass you like that" Kara replied "let's move on to the exciting part" her smile came back. 

You walked past a few employees who were very kind to say hi or hello to you, you waved back at them and smiled. 

Kara then turned round and smiled. 

"We're here, you'll be working beside my office, James scheduled it to be your office beside mine so we're not apart from each other". 

"Wow, that's nice of him, I'm guessing he knows you and I uh... Had our first date 2 days ago? Is that why my office is beside yours?" 

"Maybe" Kara blushed bright red, hiding the fact she suggested the idea of having your office beside hers. 

You continued on like she wasn't blushing, Kara showed you around the office, helping you set up what you needed, in return, you helped her with the stuff she was carrying. 

"I'm just gonna pop Into Snapper's office and give him the report, wish me luck" Kara wasn't too pleased having to go and see him, she left your office and entered hers to grab the report she worked on. 

You settled into your office, sighing happily... 

* *

For the past 3-4 weeks, you've been working at Cat-Co alongside your new girlfriend Kara Danvers and since then, your life has started to change. 

When planning dates, Kara had to cancel them one minute before you two would go on the date, mostly the dates were changed to be at her apartment instead, you understood she was busy at times. 

It didn't bother you at all, what wasn't clear was her excuses, it seemed odd to you that Kara would act strangely at times, she would often leave Cat-Co and then come back either minutes or hours later. 

It mostly happens when danger is reported on the TV or if she needs to excuse herself, she mostly took the door leading outside when leaving which was very strange, apparently no one seemed to notice or care. 

She took an elevator once when excusing herself, you did hear her phone ring, "it must've been something important" you thought to yourself at the time. 

At the moment, Kara was working in her office, and you decided to pop in to speak with her about her odd disappearances. 

"Hey Y/N/N" she sounded happy you popped in and rose from her seat to kiss you on the cheek. 

"Hey Kara, I wanted to ask you something?" you said to her, getting straight to the point. 

"Yeah? Go ahead" she sat back down on her seat and spun her seat round to look at you. 

"I um... Wanted to know why you've been disappearing lately?" you asked. 

"Who me? Phfft, I haven't been disappearing, what are you on about?" she asked with a frown on her face. 

"No I mean like, why you've been excusing yourself or, why you always come back hours later, it mostly happens when danger is reported on the TV's in the building and when you've answered your phone to Alex or someone else?" you were growing very concerned about the situation, you wanted to know why your girlfriend has been acting odd. 

"Oh" her smile faded to a puzzled look on her face, she looked down to the floor for a few seconds before speaking "Y/N, I uh... Um... Can I tell you tonight at mine? I don't wanna say it here right now" she looked a bit weary. 

"Um, y-yeah, sure I'll wait till tonight, I'm just gonna go back in my office to finish off writing a report. Love you" you kiss her on the cheek making her smile. 

"Love you too" she says back before you left smiling. 

Cut to tonight, Kara mostly left her apartment door unlocked since she knew you would be coming. 

She was pacing in the room, thinking of ways to tell you her hidden secret, her cardigan was unbuttoned revealing the all too familiar S glyph Superman and Supergirl proudly wear on their suits except Kara's was genuine, she is Supergirl. 

The door opens, she buttons up her cardigan and spins round to face you carrying a pizza box, good thing her glasses were on otherwise, you would've dropped the pizza box due to shock. 

"Hey Kara, sorry I'm late, I went ahead and bought pizza at that Joe's Italian Shop, figured we'd have a surprise date" 

Kara smiles "you're too generous" she giggles. 

You walk over to Kara and place down the pizza box on the living room table and open it, revealing her favourite toppings on pizza. 

"My favourite toppings as well?" she asked with a smile appearing on her face. 

"yeah" you say looking at Kara lovingly "let's watch some TV" 

You both dug in and sat on the couch with the blanket over the both of you, Kara had the last slice of pizza since you were too kind to let her have it, but what crossed your mind next was the question that needed an answer, her odd behaviour and disappearances. 

"Hey uh, remember what I said in your office?" you looked to her with a questionable frown. 

"Oh... Yeah, I almost forgot about that" she moves the blanket off her and stands up. 

"What are you doing?" you asked confused. 

"Listen Y/N, there's a secret no one else knows except my friends and sister" 

"James, Winn, J'onn, Alex and Lena?" 

"Lena? No, but the rest? Yes, I had a talk with Alex about telling you about my secret, it's something very, very important you must know about dating me, I've been keeping you safe this whole time" she said looking at you with a nervous look on her face. 

"What do you mean by... 'keeping you safe?' Kara if that's the secret then, I'll be surprised you're also a DEO Agent" you crossed your arms with a half smirk. 

"No, no, I'm not a DEO Agent... I work with the DEO to defend National City" she said proudly, making you confused even more. 

"What are you on about? Kara, I need..." 

She opens her cardigan, revealing the House of El glyph underneath and removes her glasses, turning into Supergirl. 

Your eyes deceived you; Kara just revealed her big secret, she is Supergirl. 

"Are you... Kidding me?" you looked at her in disbelief. 

"no... I'm not kidding, this is real" she removes the layer of clothing on her body to reveal the entire suit underneath, she spins round as her cape and skirt spin with her along with her hair, smiling brightly. 

"Wow... You're Supergirl... It all makes sense" you smiled looking her up and down. 

"I guess you now know the answer to why I've been disappearing, on why I had to cancel those dates which I'm very sorry about still, I didn't think I would find someone I deeply care about, who is you" she looked at you with heart eyes. 

You smiled as she climbed on top of you to give you a kiss which turned into a full on make our session, fighting for tongue dominance, rubbing each other softly. 

It was then she went to kiss your neck, pecking it gently. 

It was starting to make you feel aroused, she gave it a few more kisses before meeting your eyes. 

"you've been a naughty boy Y/N" she started to sound suggestive, she went on her knees and then rips your jeans open with inhuman strength you've never seen before from Supergirl. 

"Geez Kara, you really are turning me on by doing that" you smirked as the bump in your boxers grew bigger, making her smirk at it. 

"let's see what's under here" she pulls down your boxers and out comes your manhood. 

She licks her lips and takes a long lick up the shaft of your cock, making you rock your head back in pleasure. 

She starts to give you a hand job for at least 10 seconds before taking it to the mouth, starting a blow job session. 

She was slow with her bobbing, her hand reached down underneath her skirt as she started to pull down her pantyhose and pleasure herself. 

"You taste good Y/N" she teased before going right back to sucking your cock. 

You rocked your head back in pleasure, your breathing got heavier until you started groaning in pleasure as she started to speed up with her bobbing, eventually gagging in pleasure as the tip of your cock hit the back of her throat, covering your manhood with her saliva. 

"Kara" you breathed out her name in pleasure. 

You felt yourself ready to release but she stopped and grabbed your testicles gently. 

"nuh uh, not yet" she smirked, Kara takes you by the hand and brings you to the bedroom. 

She shoves you on the bed gently and climbs on the bed after removing her pantyhose, skirt and boots, proceeding to kiss you passionately while stroking your cock slowly. 

Her super strength was dampening, allowing her to properly have sex without the worry of breaking you in half. 

You two fought for tongue dominance as you moaned softly in between kisses due to her stroking your cock. 

You two stop to breathe for a moment. 

"Y/N, I think I'm ready" she breathed out softly. 

"You sure? I haven't got a..." 

"Shh shh" Kara placed her index finger on your lips to stop you from talking "don't worry, it'll be fine" she smirks. 

Kara proceeds to climb on top of you, her cape rests on your legs as she gets into cowgirl position, guiding your cock into her erect pussy. 

Her folds wrap around your tip and Kara slams down gently just in case if her super strength isn't dampened, she moans softly feeling your cock enter her pussy fully. 

"Oh, Rao you're so hard in me Y/N, ah yes!" Kara moaned out; her breathing started to get heavier. 

In between her slow bounces, you thrust lightly into her, hitting her g-spot softly which made her moan lightly each time. 

You groan in pleasure the more her pussy gets tighter. 

"Oh, fuck me Kara, you are fucking tight!" you groan out, feeling nothing but pleasure. 

Kara's soft moans combined with your low groans was now echoing in the room and by chance the neighbour next door on the left could hear it but thankfully no one was in at the time. 

"Go faster Kara" you breathe out. 

"You sure?" she was concerned about it. 

"Yes, if you break me in *groan* half, it's my fault". 

Kara acknowledged you and proceeded to bounce up and down faster as you did the same, the slapping sounds got louder as the moans and groans did. 

"OH, RAO YES!!" Kara yelped, moaning loudly as she felt your cock hit her g-spot more and more often. 

You rock your head back once again, feeling waves of pleasure in your nerves. 

The climax was arriving, you had to warn Kara before it would happen. 

"Oh fuck! Kara, I'm gonna bust!" you groaned loudly. 

"I'm gonna cum too!!!" she shouted out in pleasure before the magic happened, you burst inside her earning a happy yelp from Kara as she orgasms after you. 

A plump sound is heard, Kara gets off of you and lies down beside you, looking up at the ceiling as cum flows out of her. 

"Wow... That-that was fun" you whispered. 

"Yeah, I agree, for our first time? I enjoyed it" she smiles at the thought "I'm just surprised I didn't break you in half accidentally" she wondered how it worked, she did feel a bit weaker when she got more and more horny. 

"let's clean up and cuddle in bed, don't mind if I sleep with you?" you asked. 

"Took the words out of my mouth" Kara smirks...

* * *

Fin...

#supergirl #supergirl x male reader #dc comics #kara zor el #kara danvers x male reader #kara danvers #cw supergirl #arrowverse #supergirl tv #dc heroines #supergirl cw #female x male reader #supergirl x male reader smut #kara danvers x male reader smut #kryptonian

[klaprisun]

One Sunny Day

(Stardew Valley)(Haley x Female Farmer)

Chapter 27

All through the night I couldn’t let myself fall asleep. I was up daydreaming, overthinking, and walking through the whole day from start to end. I know exactly how I want everything to play out and when I should bring the bouquet to Haley’s.

First things first, I have to stop and get the bouquet. I waltz over to Pierre’s with an extra pep to my step. Caroline is standing and chatting with Pierre behind the counter this morning. They both turn and look at me when they hear the bell chime from over the door.

“Good morning!” I greet the two of them.

“Good morning, Danny. How can we help you?” Caroline greets back.

“I need a bouquet…please,” I was so excited that I nearly forgot my manners.

“Pierre, do you mind grabbing this wonderful girl a bouquet?” Caroline asks her husband.

“Right on it!” He says as he reaches to a shelf behind the counter. He pulls out a bouquet full of blue, purple, and yellow flowers. Lots of greenery were added to give it more depth and to make the colors pop. The flowers are wrapped in classic brown paper, but it was a little too plain for my liking.

“Do you mind tying a blue ribbon around the paper on the stems?” I ask Pierre.

“Of course I can do that. That’s a really good idea,” he replies as he goes searching on the shelf under the cash register. He takes such a long time that Caroline finally reaches down and finds it for him. He blushes in embarrassment and takes the ribbon from her.

“There we go. A beautiful bouquet with a blue ribbon tied into a bow.” Pierre passes the bouquet to me and I exchange it for a few of my coins.

I turn on my heels, bouquet in hand and head for the door.

“Good luck!” Pierre and Caroline call out with a wave. I give them a friendly wave back and start heading over to Emily and Haley's house.

When I arrive at their front door, I stand there on the doorstep for a minute. I contemplate all of the different ways this could go one more time before knocking on the front door.

I straighten my hat, adjust my shirt, dust my pants off and fluff the flowers of the bouquet as well before knocking on the door. Finally, I bring my hand up and knock on the front door.

“I knew you couldn’t stay away for much longer. I figured we’d see you at our house today,” Emily chuckles as she opens the door. She opens the door wider and invites me in. I step inside and make my way to the living room. I’m far too antsy to sit down just yet, so I stay standing.

“You are such a lovey dovey, Danny. Look at you with your bouquet of flowers, all dolled up,” Emily gushes. I didn’t really ‘doll up’ as Emily says. I only brushed my hair out really well and cleaned my boots up. I was just wearing my regular farm wear, I didn’t want to look like I’m trying TOO hard.

At the sound of my name leaving Emily’s mouth, Haley’s bedroom door flies open. Startled, Emily and I whip our heads her way.

Haley has done herself up nicer than I have ever seen. She was wearing a pink, halter top sundress that reached down to her mid thigh with her wavy blonde hair framing her face and draped over the front of her shoulders. Her nails have a fresh coat of her usual blue nail polish that brings out her eye color. The only bit of makeup she was wearing was mascara and her signature pink lipstick.

I can’t help but just stare at her as she stands at the doorway of her room. Her whole demeanor is glowing and bright today, giving me butterflies in my stomach.

My awkward staring has caused her to blush and look down at the ground. She twirls a strand of hair around her finger, waiting for one of us to speak.

“Get a room you two,” Emily laughs as she has been standing here watching us stare at each other. “You’re undressing each other with your eyes right in front of me.”

This causes Haley’s face to go redder than before. I also felt my face go red from what Emily said since I may or may not be guilty of it.

Emily marched away and went into her room due to the tension between Haley and I. She didn't want to be a third wheel or witness the weirdness going on.

“So…” Haley takes a few steps my way with her hands clasped behind her back.

“So…” I responded nervously. I had the bouquet behind my back where Haley couldn’t see it just yet.

“What are you doing here, Danny?” Haley asks me as she gets closer to me.

“I just came to see you. I have something for you that I’m hoping you like…”

“Oh yeah? What is it?” She tilts her head at me curiously.

I take the bouquet from behind my back and hand it out to her. I watch her eyes follow my movements and land on the bouquet as I hold it out. They immediately light up when she notices what I was holding out to her.

“Danny…” she whispers as she slowly takes it into her hand.

“I hope you like it. I made sure to get Pierre to add a blue ribbon to make it prettier,” I blush, scratching at the back of my neck.

“You do know what this symbolizes right?” Haley asks me with her eyebrow raised.

“I believe it means ‘romantic interest’ if I’m not mistaken?” I confidently responded. Her eyebrows raise in surprise, realizing I knew the intent behind the flowers. "Is there something wrong?” My voice filled with worry as I’m afraid I did something wrong.

“No no nothing is wrong. I’m just surprised…” She breathes out.

“Why are you surprised?” My voice is still trembling with worry.

“You really like me? After how I treated you?” She mumbles, unsure of being deserving of the gesture.

“Oh course I really like you. I thought this would make that clear?” I chuckle softly.

Haley walks closer to me and takes me by the hand. I feel my whole body heat up at her touch.

“My hand might be a little sweaty,” I whisper nervously.

“That’s okay. I was going to take you to go find a vase with me to put this in,” She says as she starts dragging me to the kitchen.

Haley lets go of my hand once we get to the kitchen and starts rummaging through the cupboards. She goes through all the ones at the bottom, but once she has to reach to the top cupboards, she can’t see what’s in them.

“Can you help me? Do you see a vase up there?” She asks while pointing to the shelves in the cupboard.

“Well I don’t see a vase in this one. Try the next one,” I directed her. She opens the next cupboard and motions for me to look. Sure enough, I see at the very back a tall, glass vase she could use for the bouquet. I place my hand on the counter for balance and reach with the other one to grab the vase at the back. But when I put my arm up to reach, I feel something skimming the exposed skin of my waist.

“You have such smooth skin for a farmer. I mean your calloused hands say otherwise, but everywhere else…” Haley says as she traces her fingers along my waist. I nearly lose balance while bringing the vase down.

“Well besides all the cuts and scrapes from the mines,” I responded as I put the vase on the counter. As I say that, her fingers brush across a gash on my stomach that hasn’t healed yet. Many of the injuries have yet to heal.

“Have you been taking care of them?” She asks me in a low tone, looking up at me through her eyelashes.

“Well.. uh...no,” I stutter as she brings her hand up to my face. She traces the cuts I have along my cheek, then down to the one I have going across my lip. She seems to linger on that one a little bit longer.

“Your lips are also soft considering you are out in the sun all day usually. You’d think they get sunburnt and chapped often?” She says.

“Mhmm,” I say in a daze, letting her fingers travel around my body. She slid them down my arm next, right down to the palm of my hand.

“Yeah look at all the callouses and scratches you got going on here. You really should let me put some cream on your hands. It’ll soften them up,” She traces the creases of my hand, causing me to get goosebumps.

I quietly nod my head as I admire her face. She wasn’t looking up at me to notice I was looking at her. She was too concentrated on my hand.

“Let’s go find a spot for this bouquet in my room,” she finally says as she takes the vase into her hands.

I’ve never been in Haley’s room before and I’m kind of nervous. Seeing the place where most of someone's personal life takes place is very intimate to me. She must be comfortable enough with me to let me into this part of her life.

Haley opens the door of her room and leads me inside. I take a couple of steps in and start admiring it. The wallpaper is a horizon of a beach with sand and water. There were even little sail boats scattered throughout the water of the wallpaper. Two big palm trees were part of the wallpaper as well. Her bed was pressed up to the corner of the room with a lamp beside it. On the other side was a dresser and a small side table next to it with a teddy bear on it. She had a cute, pink vanity to the right of the door and a lamp squeezed into the corner on another small side table. In the left front corner was a shelf with her camera perched on it. A huge potted plant was also next to it.

“Your room is cute,” I say, taking it all in. As I am focused on the room, I hear Haley close the door behind me.

“A lot of it is from when I was a kid. I never wanted to redo it and kind of embraced it. I added a few things as I got older such as this vanity,” she explains as she gestures to the pink vanity. She paces around the room trying to find somewhere to put the vase of flowers.

“This will be a good spot. First thing I’ll see when I enter my room!” She smiles as she places the vase on top of the big dresser. I can’t help but smile with her as she happily places it down.

I notice she has two pictures printed out and taped to her wall next to the dresser. I walk over to investigate. Haley notices where I’m looking and quickly moves in front of them.

“Nuh uh,” she shakes her head while blushing at me, still blocking the pictures.

“C’mon what do you have to hide?” I tease her trying to look around her. She just shrugs at me.

“Well now I have to see,” I say as I grab her by the waist. She squirms and squeals in my grasp and I toss her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I keep her there as I take in the two pictures she has taped to her wall.

One of the pictures was a sweet one of her and Emily taking a selfie. They were making funny faces at the camera.

To my surprise, the other picture was of her and I at Marnie’s farm. It was one of us hanging out with the cows. I was showing her how to pet a cow, but instead of looking at the cow, I was looking at her. She was looking back up at me as well, not paying attention to my demonstration.

“Looky at what we got here. Is this a picture of you and I?” I tease her more.

“You weren’t supposed to see that!” she squeals from over my shoulder.

“That’s really creepy of you, Haley,” I joke. I start walking over to the bed but stop at a weird door at the back of her room.

“What’s in here?” I ask her. I spun around to show Haley what I was looking at since she was still draped over my shoulder.

“It’s a work in progress. I’ll show you when it’s done,” she replies.

I continue over to her bed where I put Haley down. I grab her by the waist again and lift her up off my shoulder. I gently toss her down onto the bed, causing her to let out an “oof”. Somehow, she still remains perfect, not a hair out of place. Her face was flushed due to all the blood rushing to her head from hanging over my shoulder.

She sits up on the bed and pats beside her, inviting me to sit next to her. Doing as I’m told, I take a seat beside her. I watch as she reaches her arm up and yanks my hat from my head. The static of my hat leaving my head causes my hair to tousle. She lets out a laugh as she puts the hat on her own head.

I feel my stomach erupt in butterflies from how good she looks in my cowboy hat. That, and other places of my body seem to enjoy it as well. The hem of her sundress seemed to creep farther up her thighs as she sat crisscrossed on her bed. I can’t help but quickly peek down at her thighs and body. The dress accentuates the curves of her hips and chest a little too well. It’s almost like she wore this dress on purpose.

“Whatcha looking at?” Haley catches me as I let my eyes linger a little too long.

“Oh…nothing…”I quickly replied awkwardly, my face heating up.

“Yeah…okay…” she skeptically calls my bluff with a smirk. She leans back onto her arms and stretches her legs out over my lap.

She flicks her eyes down at her legs and back up at me, giving me another smirk. Boldly, I take my hand and caress the side of her calf. I slowly bring myself to a lean, and bring my hand up her leg to caress her thigh. I hold my head up with my fist as I lean across the bed. She is still up farther on the bed than me, my head is only at her hip.

“You’re a tease,” she mutters under her breath to me.

“I’m the tease?” I raise an eyebrow at her, still caressing her thigh.

“Look what you are doing!” She points to my hand.

“Look what you’re wearing,” I breathe, tugging at the hem of her dress.

“I knew you’d like it,” she winks. I feel my breath hitch in my lungs at the wink.

“Stay for dinner, Danny,” she looks at me with a gleam in her eyes. I look around to find a clock. When I find one on the wall of her room, I see that it’s already dinner time. I hadn’t even noticed my stomach rumbling.

“If you so desperately want me to,” I respond playfully, giving her dress another few tugs at the hem.

#sdv #sdv fanfic #stardew valley #stardew #stardew fanfic #stardew valley haley #stardew valley haley fanfic #haley fanfic #sdv haley fanfic #sdv haley #stardew haley #haley stardew #haley x female farmer #haley x farmer #lgbtq #wlw yearning #wlw #sapphic #sapphic yearning #lesbian #pelican town #fanfic #stardew valley fanfic #stardew farmer #farmer #sdv farmer #stardew valley farmer #haley sdv #haley stardew valley

[oddlylovingaddiction]

Shy ghost boyfriend x (wayyy to kind/generous) reader

I CAN SEE IT OMG… also this is my first time with ns.ft SO PLEASE BE NICE… please… 😭

Imagine whoever you want btw!! I had no set character for this little imagine.

Tw/ Brief mentions of breaking and entering, ghosts and spirits, ghost jokes, mentions of delusions and death, ns.ft under read more.

imagine you’ve been dating a guy for awhile. Admittedly, the relationship started in a unique sense. As in…. The guy showed up inside your house randomly. Aka home invasion. Now to normal people this would definitely cause them to call the cops, however you? The first thought going through your head was how you were worried that the poor dude just needed a place to stay. However as soon as he and you made eye contact he freezes up, to the point he was just awkwardly standing near your kitchen counter, slowly he places the cup of tea he made for himself down.

He covers his face, “Oh god!” He says his face going red before completely disappearing into thin air. You look around for him everywhere but he’s absolutely gone? You chalk it up to you being delusional from overwork…

Then he appears and disappears again. And again. AND AGAIN. This goes on for a phew months before you get tired of it, so you leave out a little note saying ‘You’re welcome to stay in my house as long as you want, just please stop avoiding me it’s hurting my feelings :(‘ you place it on the counter with some sweet treats you got at the store.

Ever since then? Well he’s practically in love. You quickly figure out he’s a ghost from the fact he tells you (once he works up the courage enough to speak to you fully.) and the fact he constantly phases through walls to talk to you.. which is cute! However when you’re showering and he forgets it can be very awkward.

There’s a lot of interesting things about your ghost friend. For one, he died, however he forgot how, by the time he was a ghost his body, wherever it was, had been taken away. Two, he only awakened because some kids thought it would be a genius idea to use an ouija board. Three, since then he’s had a total of 20 priests try and exorcize him even though he SWEARS he has never harmed anyone, people just are fearful of him. Four, he can touch things, but only in the house and five, he cannot leave the house because he’s permanently tied here for some reason. There’s probably loads of interesting things about him really you are desperate to learn but it’s fine because you can take your time getting to know him. He has eternity(?) for you and you have your entire life and maybe eternity afterwards to get to know him.

Naturally it doesn’t take long for you both to start dating he’s cute and desperate for you. I mean, you’ve been trapped in a house for who knows how long, and only people with families or in committed relationships were ever living with him, so when a single person who not only is kind to him but is objectively an attractive person… YOU KNOW THE MANS GOTTA SHOOT HIS (extremely awkward) SHOT.

The way he hits on you in the beginning is soft for him atleast, my boy comes off hella strong. I’m talking he makes you breakfast before work and leaves cheesy notes places like ‘If we were both ghosts, would you be my boo for eternity?’ Yes, all his pickup lines are ghost themed… and if you guys have a movie night he will pick romance themed movies. Even better if it’s a ghost themed romance movie. It doesn’t matter if he likes romance or not. He’s gotta show you romance.

Once you finally confess to him you like him (no he won’t confess first he’s way to scared that you’ll reject him..) HES ALL OVER YOU.

No matter what you’re doing he’s looking at you with a love struck grin. And once you give him permission to hug and kiss you, HES ALWAYS DOING IT. Always planting kisses everywhere, and hugging you when he can. THIS MAN IS TOUCH STARVED…

And since he’s so touched starved naturally when it’s time to get freaky he prefers soft and slow, with you as close as possible to him as he ruts into you. Ghosts have great stamina surprisingly! Which is great for him, however he needs you to remind him to stop, because he will go on for days. BECAUSE HE LITERALLY CAN. He’s a ghost so that means he doesn’t have to stop and wait for his own body, since he doesn’t have one… duh. Speaking of bedroom stuff, this man is probably vanilla I’m gonna be real with you, he cannot bear to go rough. However he loves leaving little marks all over your body. It reminds him he does exist and that he’s dating you, and this isn’t some weird post-death dream. Also did I mention it doesn’t matter what you weigh OR your size? He’s a ghost so he has infinite stamina and strength, so no matter how much you weigh he can have you in ANY position.

But… how is he with bottoming? HES GOOD. However he needs you to be close, I’m talking hugging him close. He doesn’t care what pace you go just don’t hurt him. He’s had such a lonely ghost life… he doesn’t need more pain. By the way, do not blind fold or restrain this man, or do any sort of sensory deprivation. He needs all his senses, he needs to feel you. Also give him marks. OH MY GOD GIVE HIM THEM! It’s the only time he’s okay with pain if you are biting or nibbling at him. Same reason as why he gives you marks above like hickeys. He just needs to know that this is all real.

He’s also a whimper guy. And a praise kink guy too.

“You’re s’ beautiful/handsome/pretty.” / “I lov’ you, you’ doing so well- Oh my god...” / “My love! Oh y’- so good… soo good jus’ for me..’

Also he’s loud. Be warned you may have some explaining to do to the neighbours….

Imagine who you want, no set character in mind for this one, so I tagged a bunch of fandoms. Yes I did tag Harry Potter (as in whichever character in the franchise) however FUCK JK ROWLING, we support trans rights up in this biiiitchhhh.

#🩷 ~ short fics || oddlylovingaddiction #reader insert #ns.fw #ns.ft #x reader smut #smut #gender neutral reader #x reader #fat reader #x fat reader #x chubby reader #chubby!reader #reader x oc #mha x reader #ghost!boyfriend x reader #marvel x reader #naruto x reader #horror x reader #harry potter x reader #BUT NOT THE KID I MEAN THE FANDOM HARRY POTTER #or like all the characters in Harry Potter #or whichever characters #YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. #Cw ghosts #ghost sex #JOKING #not actually tho #you do get freaky with a ghost. #but he’s a cute ghost so it’s okay

[freestyle-crocodile-trashpile]

Key

Summary:You stuggle to unlock the door

Type:Hcs:Fluff:Geto X M!Reader: Nanami X M!Reader:Gojo X M!Reader: Ijichi X M!Reader

Version:Jjk

~

Nanami

He didn't think you were struggling at first

He figured you'd be good at unlocking the door

But the moment you gave him that awkward look to see if he was looking before quickly going back to trying to unlock the door he realized

He wouldn't let you struggle anymore and take the key from you

It was almost embarrassing for you how easily he did it

But it's okay, he gave you a kiss and didn't mention it

Geto

He will watch you struggle

At first he was wondering if you were faking it or actually struggling

The loudest sigh known to mankind would be let out before he helped

He wouldn't mock you, but he'd give you a give that look almost like a disappoint mother

Your look of embarrassment saved you, he can't resist that cute look of pure embarrassment on your face

He'll sigh and give you a kiss to make you feel better

Gojo

He watched

He was trying so hard not to laugh, but it was too funny

You were trying so hard too, his poor little husband

He'd snicker before he helped, but of course he wouldn't make you feel any better

He'd reach around and grab your hand as if he was teaching you to golf before twisting your hand and key in the correct direction

He'd tease you for days about it

Ijichi

He didn't notice you were struggling at first, he was texting one of the higher ups

He missed all the embarrassed glances you gave him that were a silent call for help

When he did notice he'd feel bad that he didn't help you earlier

After you guys got inside he'd apologize and reassure you that it was nothing to be embarrassed of

He couldn't deny that your embarrassed face was cute

He'd give you a big kiss to make you giggle and get rid of your embarrassment

~

[A/N:I'm gonna try to get back into writing, slowly but surely! I gotta get back into my prime. I hope you enjoyed]

#jjk x y/n #jjk x you #x male reader #x reader #jjk x male reader #jjk x reader #jjk x ftm reader #jjk nanami kento #jjk nanami #jjk gojo satoru #jjk gojo #jjk geto suguru #jjk geto #jjk ijichi #jjk

[morerawerbreath]

EVEN MORE Fictional Men Ranked Least to Most Likely to Eat Pussy

Pleased to say that since the positive reception of Part 1, I have had way more people than I would have ever imagined in my inbox asking me to weigh in on various other fictional men!!! If this is my legacy on tumblr.edu so be it

Corrections to Part 1 first: Many feel that Mr Rochester was unjustly assessed:

Thank you scholars for your input, I am listening and learning!!!!

Without further ado:

9. Ashley Wilkes — Gone With the Wind

No. no. you guys. Beau was born via immaculate conception as far as i’m concerned but if i HAVE to get more specific I’d say Ashley and Melanie do nothing except missionary. I know he’s devoted to her but that doesn’t necessarily translate to eros and being in touch with the body!! Holy wet blanket purity complex. Even if he and Scarlett ever managed to get a room together and she asked him point blank to go down on her he would start shaking like a wet lapdog and leave the room.

8. Jay Gatsby — The Great Gatsby

I HATE that you all made me think about this. Gatsby has no relationship with real bodies. I think he would cast Daisy’s pussy in wax and put it on his wall. He would buy her whatever sex toy she wanted. He might even watch her use them. But there are way way WAY too many weird repressed currents for this to happen.

7. Andrei Bolkonsky — War and Peace

Andrei isn’t thinking about pussy, Andrei is thinking about Napoleon I. He might be inclined to take a woman in a manly fashion once in a while but she’s definitely not a real person to him and odds are he’s thinking about military maneuvers and his horse while it’s happening. Oral sex does not once cross his mind.

6. Pierre Bezukhov — War and Peace

Pierre is ranked in the middle because I honestly can’t decide. On the one hand I get huge fedora m’lady reddit vibes from him but on the other hand his reading is extensive, he’s thoughtful, and he’s lowkey devoted to Natasha without ever really asking for recognition?? On the other other hand if he was into going down on women maybe Hélène would hate his guts less, but on the OTHER other other hand she seems like a women with a lot of internalized misogyny who might simp shame him for trying to eat her out so maybe it's not his fault? Despite initial awkwardness I think he and Natasha might be able to figure this out and if he had weird freemason-y ideas about sex (? not sure what these would be but I bet they exist) she would probably tell him to stop being a freak and they’d get on with it (i hope)

5. Colonel Brandon — Sense and Sensibility

If Colonel Brandon was with a different woman I would have doubts, or guess that he probably has affectionate/polite but perhaps not very x-rated sex. (Can he give himself over to true carnal abandonment? I don’t know.) HOWEVER, Marianne is so DEEPLY erotic and so obviously deserves/needs to have someone go down on her every day — he knows this and he loves her and he will do whatever she needs to be happy, so!!!

4. Captain Wentworth — Persuasion

Frederick undoubtedly would go down on Anne but would she let him?!? Would she be able to allow herself to be the sole object of attention and devotion? For him to stare at her fully between the legs with the lights on? I feel like she could get there eventually but it might take a few years. He would be patient and not rush her and probably be good at it when it finally happened!

3. Henry Tilney — Northanger Abbey

Henry would give the sweetest long-term-relationship/Sunday morning head to Catherine. Probably the kissing your stomach and your thighs before predictably doing exactly what you like thing. He would say something funny when he has to stop to fish a pube out of his mouth. He’s comfy, he’s relaxed, he nails it — Catherine giggles and everyone goes home happy

2. D’Artagnan — The Three Musketeers

Absolutely 100% will this guy eat pussy. He may not know exactly what he’s doing but by god, the will is there. Constance might have to give him some pointers but this is a man who will look at you with moony eyes and take the fucking note. Probably sloppy at first but would ask to practice every day until he can make someone come in 30 seconds. Then he would brag to his mates about it.

Henry Crawford — Mansfield Park

Henry fucks. If he lived today he would have a tiktok account for fingering techniques. if mirrors on the ceiling were a thing in 1810 he would have one. he’s a player and everyone knows it but it’s almost worth fucking him to see if it’s as good as he claims it is. not only would he eat pussy but he would hold your hips down and wouldn’t let you move until you come. he has 4 different kinds of lube. like, it’s trashy but respect the game i guess.

Bonus: Mary Crawford — Mansfield Park

Mary can shoot a single look across the sitting room at girls who think they're straight and they'll suddenly have an overwhelming urge to have sleepovers with her. She'd be like "it's okay, we're just experimenting darling" and then satisfy them sexually in a way they never will be again. I don't know what's in the water where Mary and Henry grew up but jesus christ. She has everything that Henry has PLUS staying power.

Part 1 here!

#okay i feel mildly dirty for thinking about this so hard #jane eyre #gone with the wind #war and peace #the great gatsby #sense and sensibility #persuasion #mansfield park #the three musketeers #northanger abbey #jane austen #mr rochester