#honestly why not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dxppercxdxver · 1 year

Text

in which medic returns from sick leave and is suspicious of the fate of his interim replacement (this is a fic i wrote purely because i and @chiropteracupola thought it would be extremely funny)

contracts being as they were with tf industries, vacations weren't so much requested as they were foisted upon oneself after grievous injury. in medic's unfortunate case, a sudden and nasty bout of pneumonia the medigun simply wasn't cut out to handle had whacked him upside the head one otherwise average week in july, and after passing out from the exertion—drenched in sweat beneath his coat, genuinely slick with the stuff—on the battlefield, a menacingly plain envelope stamped with the seal of the administrator landed itself on his desk, requesting in a way that was really demanding that he make himself scarce until he was fit for duty again.

medic had no argument, and packed his bags as soon as he was able to pry his burning face off the cool metal table.

he had been gone for longer than he wanted. what he had anticipated to be a few days' absence at most stretched into almost a month, bedridden and aching in a cheap hostel a few towns over (teufort, obviously, was hardly an option, what with the entire infrastructure operating almost exclusively on flagrant osha violations and the townspeople's penchant for hangings). it was hardly the most ideal of circumstances, but he recovered all the same, slowly but surely, chomping at the bit to return to the dustbowl and his most loyal patients. medic hoped his teammates missed him; he liked to think he provided a valuable service to RED and that the men around him agreed. after all, his skills were unparalleled. the poor fellows must have been miserable without him.

the day he was set to return to the quarry, he phoned ahead to miss pauling's private number he'd stolen from one of spy's personnel files to let her know he was coming—ignoring her sputtering disbelief in the process—and threw his belongings into a small deerskin suitcase, saluting the hostel owner with his fingers crossed behind his back.

during his unintended sick leave, little had changed. of course, it had only been a month or so, but after residing in the quarry almost four years with no interruption, a month felt like an eternity. he half expected the place to be burned to the ground, and to see it still standing was some sort of miracle, to be sure. straightening his back, medic buttoned his coat and strode inside.

miss pauling was there to greet him at the door, smile the widest he'd ever seen it. just beyond the foyer, the rest of the team stood in perfect alignment, similarly amiable expressions on their faces. while medic was glad to be appreciated, such behavior was wildly unsettling from a group of men whose primary off-shift occupation was ignoring each other or shouting. even sniper was looking at him with a strange fondness.

with a hesitant wave, medic greeted them quietly. "hello?"

"medic, hi!" miss pauling cried, rushing forward. "so glad to see you, can i take your bag? to your lab, right?"

"i— okay." in but an instant, medic's suitcase was snatched out of his hand and miss pauling was marching him down the corridor toward the medbay, gleeful demeanor never wavering. her knuckles were nearly white around the handle. their teammates followed like a silent parade, a welcoming entourage medic was beginning to grow incredibly suspicious of.

"quite the reception here today," he said lightly, peering through the cracked doors that lined the hall. "is everything alright?"

"yeah, 'course, everything's good, why would you even say something like that?" scout piped up from behind him, gesticulating wildly. "we're all super here, doc, absolutely nothin' to see, i can tell ya that."

so something was absolutely wrong.

trying to lighten the mood, medic did his best to crack a joke. "did someone die while i was gone?"

rather pointedly, no one responded. miss pauling simply looped her arm under his elbow and steered him off toward the lab, flinging the door open for him like an enthusiastic chauffeur.

medic was delighted to see that, even with an interim replacement having taken up residence in his quarters, the medbay was just as he had left it, in all its chaotic organization that really only he could understand properly. piles of papers were strewn about on every available surface, his pens tossed into a cup on his desk, and archimedes fluttered down from his rafter perch to settle upon his shoulder.

idly scratching at his beloved bird's chest, medic looked around the office, noting one unusual item out of place.

a metal carrying case sat upon one of the stacks of documents like a paperweight, clean and shining under the fluorescent light. medic was certain this case was not his, and pointed at it with a questioning cock of the head.

"go on, open it," miss pauling said, and the others nodded in vigorous agreement.

he approached the case with some level of consternation, bordering on dread. it was a high quality thing, with well-oiled hinges and a nicely sprung lock. simple etchings decorated the lid, with faint initials scrawled into the center. under the glare, medic couldn't quite make them out, but he reached for the clasp all the same.

inside, pristine medical tools reflected his illness-haggard face back at him; scalpels, syringes, a small saw, scissors, and pins of all sizes were arrayed on a deep red velvet backing, beautiful as any he had ever seen. the blades were sharpened to a wicked edge, and medic could only imagine the ease with which they would cut through skin and tissue and... whatever else he needed them to cut through.

they were lovely, and presumably worth a small fortune, and absolutely, fantastically out of place.

turning to his team, medic fought with equally strong emotions of gratitude and confusion.

"what... how... where did you get these?"

"happy birthday, fella," sniper said, by way of what he probably meant to be an explanation that didn't actually answer anything at all.

medic frowned. "my birthday isn't for several months."

"yeah, well, we just wanted to let ya know how much we appreciated ya. for all the work you do. cutting us open, sticking birds in our chests—" as he spoke, scout counted off items on his bandaged fingers, and medic noted a faint spattering of blood on the gauze, "—and really just bein' an all around pal."

"...really."

"yup!" miss pauling interjected, sidling over to the rest of the team. "really, you've just been such an excellent addition to RED's roster, we wanted to show you how much you meant to us and the administrator."

pursing his lips, medic gently shooed archimedes from his shoulder, closing the lid of the case. "i... see. and you are sure everything is fine?"

"fine and dandy." from near the back of the small hoard crowding his doorway, engineer piped up with a double thumbs-up for emphasis. "right as rain, and all that."

"of course." medic paused, considering the oddly untouched state of his office. "how was my replacement?"

"oh, him? he was— he was good," miss pauling said a little too loudly, waving her hand in what was almost certainly meant to be a dismissive gesture that instead nearly succeeded in clocking pyro across the jaw. "a real gentleman, that one, barely made any trouble for us. and, just, like. reeeeally good at medicine." the grin that stretched across her face was so full of perfectly white teeth medic swore he would go blind.

everything about this situation was suspect, medic knew this, but he also wasn't sure how to get to the bottom of it without discovering more than he actually wanted to know. so instead, he flashed a smile of his own, flashing a loose wave.

"well. thank you all for this gift," he said, eyeing the case warily, "and this... warm return, but i really must get to unpacking. science to be done, and all of that."

"sure, sure, gotcha." ushering everyone out of the room, miss pauling was nodding so hard medic half thought her head was liable to snap off. "great having you back, medic. love ya."

and with that, the team was gone, and medic was left alone.

the first thing he did was inspect the contents of his desk. much of it was just how he remembered it, but hidden amongst his stacks of medical histories and experimental notes, he found a fabric binder stuffed to the brim with papers. the binder, much like the case, was definitely not his, and...

was that blood?

the corner of the binder, though the cloth was a deep green to begin with, was suspiciously darker, soaked through with something that smelled vaguely of copper. upon opening it, the papers contained within boasted the same smears of blood. large passages of text were haphazardly blocked out with what appeared to be a permanent marker. as he flipped through, medic marveled at the thoroughness of the covering up; he could make out very little, aside from the barely-there presence of a name typed up on a page of letterhead.

plucking the page out of its place, medic held it up against the case, tipping it away from the bulbs.

g.h. was etched into the case, and the paper, where it was legible, read "gre—" before it dissolved into inky blood.

well, medic thought, gingerly placing the letterhead into his trashcan, that answered a great many questions.

all that was left was to find where the carnage ended.

medic peeked through the glass in the lab's door, ensuring the halls were empty, before slinking across the tile floor to the one of the rooms they had passed on the way in.

it was a storage room that frequently doubled as a secondary site for engineer's less than high priority experiments, and droplets of blood were clearly visible on the linoleum just outside. when he pushed the door inward, yet more appeared, in streams and smears across the floor. medic followed the trail with his eyes, all the way up to a monstrous machine the size of a small bus. silver and aluminum and copper twinkled in the darkness, lit only where the light from the hall bypassed medic's silhouette and touched the metal. the plating gleamed, obviously freshly cleaned.

as medic examined the nature of the contraption, his gaze was drawn to all manner of pistons and conveyor belts and rotating drums covered in vicious looking spikes. it was, all in all, designed to kill a person extremely efficiently and impersonally, which meant it could only have been engineer's work.

the dissonance between the gore-streaked floor and the spotless machinery was almost poetic, medic supposed.

"ah well. auf wiedersehn," he murmured, resting a gloved hand on one of the plates with an air of solemnity, before exiting the storeroom and pulling the door closed behind him. whoever his replacement was, it was obvious he was lost to the ages now.

but hey, at least he got some sweet new medical equipment out of the deal.

#in which medic discovers his team has fucking mangled a man #inspired by me and em going 'hey what if doctor gregory house was medic's interim replacement and the team ripped him apart'#based of course on the results of the sawbones-showdown poll #so basically. this is what happens when medic discovers his team has fucking murdered gregory house #this is not meant to be taken at All seriously #team murder! gregory house is also there! fuck him! get in the contraption!!#anyway. hope you like this emothy shjshjs #radio free junebug #my writing #do i maintag this #honestly why not #team fortress 2 #medic

15 notes · View notes

asachuu · 4 months

Text

Someone advised me to spread the good word here and I’m too tired to overthink it, so just to let you all know, I saw that adorable BSD bunny-themed merchandise ages ago already, and after about five minutes of melting upon the sight, I have taken it as a personal offence that there is no Randou version of either of them. As unfortunate as it is, I am no professional at sewing whatsoever, but considering spite fuels me enough to make up for it, I present you with these two that now rest on what is quite literally a shrine on my desk.

If you’d please ignore the fact that this particular corner of my room looks like a warehouse and just look at chibi Randou, thank you. I’ll go ahead and say that the smaller one is a few months older, the latter I’ve finished only a couple of days ago.

I took some…creative liberties with the bigger one, purely because I realized the original designs had a different head to body ratio too late and I didn’t want to waste my limited fabric by risking cutting the white part shorter, so I worked with whatever I’d been up to and made him sit in some kind of rabbit-eared blanket instead of the little cape-thing the originals had. In addition, I know the smaller bunny series all had hearts on them, I might add one if I happen to make it at some point in my life, but I’m not too dead set on it as it would probably have to be in the place of the scarf frills, which I don’t feel like reworking.

As for the reason they’re both white-colored and not the plum color Randou’s coat canonically is, well…let’s just put it plain and simple, I bought and promptly decimated the first clothes I saw at a second-hand that matched the fluffy texture I was looking for, and white ones were the easiest to find, as I couldn’t be asked to go to a proper expensive fabric store that may not have even had anything interesting. Nothing deep to it. And trust me, I know the color of his shoes and trousers should be reversed, but shh, you wouldn’t notice it if I hadn’t said it.

Anyway, BSD merch companies, oh, when I get you for making a simple amateur do all the dirty work for the sake of imitating the most adorable merch I’ve ever laid my eyes on…but until that day, I’ll just cherish these two. And considering I vaguely know how to make them now, I might just raise an army later.

#I keep having the urge to inform you all #you know the small one yeah?#you can chuck him like a hand grenade #not that I’ve tried it but trust me. you absolutely can #I’m debating on whether to tag this as these are really just my personal little desk decorations but #honestly why not #bungou stray dogs #bsd fifteen #bsd arthur rimbaud #randou #asachuu

2 notes · View notes

thebestfriendstoloverstrope · 1 year

Text

a byler tangled meets anastasia au with a splash of reverse birthdaygate (mike's parents worked at the palace and he and will were best friends when they were five. will demonstrated powers of light when he was young. a year later, vecna ripped the kingdom to shreds, plunged the world into eternal darkness, and stole will away. the chaos caused mike's parents to leave the palace and find work elsewhere, so in the years to come, mike can't fully remember his lost best friend's face. vecna's hid will in this isolated tower and is obsessed with cultivating will's powers so he can feed off of them. everyone in the kingdom remembers his birthday and celebrates it by lighting the darkness with floating lanterns (it uses a ton of resources but it's all funded by the queen, who is determined to hold onto the hope that her baby will come back to her) but will doesn't remember his birthday/anything about his real life because vecna, you know, vecna is determined to keep him. but regardless, will, with his own powers drawn towards light, feels drawn towards the lanterns. eventually, he and mike meet again. they both feel a sense of familiarity with each other but they don't know how or why (will bc vecna, mike bc, well, they were little kids). but they eventually fall in love, and as mike tells him more about the kingdom, the more will's memory jogs. eventually, will uses the powers vecna cultivated, the power of being in love, and the power of his recovered memory (and returned understanding of self) to defeat vecna and return home to his family. and vecna nearly kills mike with a darkness sickness (idk, it, like, pulls him into darkness, like when people die and the light fades from their eyes kind of thing) but will uses his powers of light to force the darkness away and bring mike back to life.

#byler #byler fanfic idea #is this also a cleradin au?#honestly why not #byler au #this all came to me while watching tangled bc again why not

11 notes · View notes

skywitchmaja · 2 years

Text

i go to the psychiatrist and they diagnose me with ambiguous disorder <3

#honestly why not

2 notes · View notes

feluka · 2 months

Note

oh god shut up. you didn't even know the damn kid.

"The children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe, and I am beginning to suspect that whoever is incapable of recognizing this may be incapable of morality." — James Baldwin

#i am honestly not even sure who you're referring to #the most recent child deaths i've reblogged are #nex benedict (the nonbinary kid murdered at school) and hind rajab #if you can't see why either of these should shatter your heart without personally knowing them #then you're entirely beyond any hope #asks #edit: this was about hind.

24K notes · View notes

suiheisen · 9 months

Text

gritty both capturing the zeitgeist as usual AND educating me on the availability of free flow butter at american cinemas

#i am intrigued………..#is it to spritz more butter on your popcorn????#does the popcorn come unbuttered?#or is it extra flavouring on top of that #is it at all cinemas? or just some??#is it just pure melted liquid butter???#anyway #i just watched oppenheimer but honestly all i can think of is that tiktok comment: ‘why einstein gotta be such a cutie patootie’#yes i’m drained but also….#albert einstein in his babygirl era #long post #gritty #barbie #barbenheimer #philadelphia flyers

67K notes · View notes

gunpowdercarousel · 7 months

Text

You know what? Fuck it.

Githyanki Cleric of Selune

Romance~

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 memes #shadowheart #bg3 tav #tav #my tav #honestly tho i really like her design #also it makes sense that gith would worship selune #since lae'zel is literally from the tears of selune #like #why not

28K notes · View notes

magnusbae · 10 months

Text

To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:

A post in 2023:

A post in 2014:

A zoom out of the same post:

This is what a community looks like.

See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.

It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.

Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.

If you want more of something, reblog it.

#i said i wont ever rant about this bc it's unseemly but HONESTLY.#you simply cannot complain about not having enough of A or B or C and then never reblog / interact with the content you love.#If you LOVE something you cannot just leave a like and silently wait for more to happen #I know countless of content creators that simply stopped doing art/writing fic/making edits #You need to understand that fandom content is made FOR the fandom FOR the engagement FOR the entertainment and fun it makes.#If a content creator does not have fun IN the fandom-- why would they spend the scares free time they have on making this content?#And we're not talking about things that you don't like-- no one expects you to reblog things you don't like.#However I think it's safe to say that when a post has more than 5k it's not some random shitpost with no value.#tumblr issues #tumblr #content creators #buns.txt #something something please don't starve your local clowns

30K notes · View notes

herd-reject-arts · 10 months

Text

So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.

#not vc sorry #bird #birds #aves #raptor #hawk #red shouldered hawk #i think. might be wrong on that id #accipitriformes #birds of prey #honestly a really cool guy so close up #I'm happy i wasn't attacked. i would not want to fight a guy that big.#talons on this bird were huge. big scary.#I've never heard of large predatory birds just landing in front of people like that so i don't know what gives #it didn't catch any food or anything. just landed near me then stared me down.#I don't know a lot about bird behavior so i tried to not look back at it but still.#it also didn't look injured. seemed like a healthy bird #if anyone has any idea why this thing would act the way it did I'd love to know

27K notes · View notes

jakeperalta · 7 months

Text

letting celebrities think they can and should "use their platform" to speak on all current events and political issues regardless of how educated they are on them was a grave mistake

#i honestly think that's why half of these celebrities are just sharing around these same few wishy washy unhelpful statements #at this point it's a relief when i open an instagram story and it's just a celebrity posting about their regular stuff #like good thank you feel free to just be quiet #or just share some fundraising links if you feel a need to be helpful #but like ultimately if you have a platform of many thousands/millions #then frankly it is your responsibility to make sure what you are sharing is accurate and useful #and not just posting for the sake of posting #but instead somehow we're at the point where the more followers you have the more you are expected to just post something anything #talking

17K notes · View notes

apollos-boyfriend · 10 months

Text

so my younger cousin is flying in to visit from brazil on sunday, and will be staying here for like, the entirety of july. which, don't get me wrong, is super cool! i love the kid! but it felt like a super weird move, considering his parents are the SUPER strict and borderline helicopter parents. even the smallest prank/roughousing with him/his little sister would lead to a strict talking to from his parents, he couldn't ever do anything without their clear permission, that sort of stuff. so letting him fly at alone at 16 to a whole different country and stay there for a whole month seemed WILDLY out of character. additionally, it just felt like a super last-minute trip. it's not like we have any plans to do when he gets here, and the flight itself and stuff only got booked like, midway through june.

and i was talking to my mom about it, kind of trying to nudge some answers out of her, and after a while she went, "yeah, i think they're sending him over here to get away for his boyfriend. see if the distance breaks them off." which, first of all, surprised me because last i checked, they didn't KNOW he had a boyfriend. literally everyone in the family did EXCEPT for them because while that entire side of the family being semi-conservative, his parents (mostly his dad) are EXTREMELY old-fashioned. so clearly something already went wrong. and considering the only reason the rest of the family knew is because one person found out and it spread like wildfire, i have a sneaking suspicion he wasn't the one to tell them, either.

and second of all. they're sending him HERE. to try to make him forget his homosexuality. i couldn't do anything but just wordlessly gesture to the multiple pride flags scattered around my room, then to myself, because really? he has like two other cousins in the us and they're sending him to me? honey i am about to introduce this kid to queer scenes you have never even heard of. he'll be returning home with labels only shrimp can perceive

#icarus speaks #i fully believe she's correct btw #they are. not the brightest people. and honestly probably believe this is something that could work #cause i can see the logic of get him away and hopefully he'll realize it's a phase. which is Likely what they think #but oh honey you have a big storm coming #side note this is the SECOND time someone's been outed without permission on that side of the family 😭#bitches learned of my transgenderism SO quickly #also even if that's NOT why they sent him here. i will still be rocking his world #they have given me Infinite Power and i will use it to make this kid's life as queer as physically possible

23K notes · View notes