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battleline · 7 months

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The Stella Problem

THE STELLA PROBLEM

AKA

HOW TO MESS UP A POTENTIALLY GREAT ANTAGONIST

Hoo boy, where do we begin with this one? Well, let’s start with the introduction and go from there.

Who is Stella?

Stella’s original design (Helluva Boss (Pilot))

Stella Goetia is the wife of Prince Stolas Goetia, one of the main cast members, who we first meet in the pilot briefly for a few seconds, having been splattered with cake when Blitzo drops in, telling her that he slept with her husband and runs off with the grimoire (being the thing he came for). The fallout from Stolas’ cheating on Stella is one of the major plot points within the show, with it almost always being prevalent in episodes involving Stolas.

Stella’s first appearance in the series proper (Loo Loo Land (S1, E2))

In ‘Loo Loo Land’, the episode starts with a brief flashback, where Stolas is stirred awake by Octavia’s crying for them, and we are given a glimpse of Stella, who had undergone a redesign between the pilot and now, and when Stolas tells her that Octavia is calling for them, Stella simply tells him to take care of her, and you can see her hogging the blankets.

Stella being furious (Loo Loo Land (S1, E2))

Later on, in present day, some times after Stolas and Blitzo’s affair, Stella is furiously shouting at him, going as far as to throw stuff, stating her disbelief that Stolas had slept with ‘an imp’ in their bed, getting more aggravated when Stolas brought up not having time to go to a motel, and after throwing one of their imps at Stolas, she calls him a ‘goddamn embarrassment’ before storming off

As you can tell by now, Stella is not the most pleasant person to be around. Even before the affair, it seems Stolas and Stella’s relationship is not the greatest, and Stolas’ affair seems to only have made things a lot worse. On top of that, she has a pretty nasty temper, throwing stuff around and shouting. On one hand, she has anger issues, but on the other hand, she was cheated on, and if the amount of revenge Reddit stories surrounding cheating that I listened to taught me anything, cheating really pisses people off. Although, it would seem that she was more angry about Stolas’ affair partner being an imp rather than the cheating, suggesting that she has a bit of classism about her.

We would not see Stella again for the rest of the episode (or the next two for that matter), but she would get a brief mention towards the end of the episode, when Octavia runs away from Stolas at Loo Loo Land, having grown sick of Stolas flirting with Blitzo throughout the episode. Stolas would come to find her again in a funhouse, and the two would have the following discussion:

Stolas and Octavia’s heart-to-heart talk (Loo Loo Land (S1, E2))

---------------------------------------------------------------

Stolas: I take it you are… not having fun.

Octavia: (crying) I didn’t even want to come here!

Stolas: I’m sorry, sweetie. I… I thought you loved it here.

Octavia: (sniffing) When I was a kid and my parents didn’t hate each other… and my dad didn’t flirt with some… weird red dickhead the entire time.

Stolas: I'm sorry, Via. I'm sorry for... everything... happening right now. I know it's... a lot. I, uh-- I should have listened.

Octavia: (crying) I just want to go home... but home doesn't even feel like home anymore... You ruined it.

Stolas: You need to understand... your mother and I... I just-... I felt-... She's always been... I haven't been- Ha-... We weren't in... I'm sorry, I- I- I don't have the words.

---------------------------------------------------------------

This talk illuminated two things: one, Stolas and Stella’s relationship was at a point where they did not hate each other. Now, this could mean many things, but at the very least, things were better. Two, it is implied that they weren’t in love, suggesting that perhaps that they were in an arranged marriage (which would be confirmed in season two, but we will get to that soon). But I do want people to remember the above conversation when we do.

Stella speaking to Striker regarding killing Stolas (Harvest Moon Festival (S1, E5))

We would see Stella again in ‘Harvest Moon Festival’ towards the very end, being revealed to be the one who hired Striker, a cowboy-themed assassin, to kill Stolas. Striker reports that he failed to kill him, but he won’t fail again, and Stella angrily states that he better not, as she quotes:

“I want this cheating prick dead! I don’t care who you have to go through! MAKE IT HAPPEN!!”

Stella

Stolas, Octavia, and Stella at the dining table (Harvest Moon Festival (S1, E5))

We then cut to her pretty much stating this right in front of Stolas and Octavia, but neither seem to take notice, though Stolas does pause for a moment.

It would seem that Stella’s anger towards Stolas for his infidelity had finally reached a breaking point in which she now wants him dead, giving zero regards as to the consequences or the effect it could have on their daughter. Indeed, it would seem she would be an antagonist for I.M.P. and Stolas to overcome in a future episode… but let’s put a pin in that for now.

Unfortunately, this would be the last episode in which Stella has a speaking role in the season, although she would go on to make a silent cameo in ‘Ozzie’s’, when a image of her and Octavia are brought up to shame Stolas during the ‘House of Asmodeus’ song:

Ozzie showing an illusion of Stella to Stolas (OZZIE’S (S1, E7))

“You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all”

“I hope you didn’t give it up. So, you and him could get it on”

House of Asmodeus

Now, following this line, Stolas would go on to hide behind a menu in shame, most likely because he was ashamed to be dating an imp (thus caused a rift between him and Blitzo), but from the way Ozzie phrased those lines, it could imply that Stolas has regret for his actions, not just because of how he hurt Octavia, but perhaps for how he hurt Stella. Either that, or Ozzie had no idea (which is just as possible).

And that would be all for Season 1, and due to legal issues for ‘Queen Bee’ (which I will probably talk about for another day), we would skip to Season 2 nearly a year later. While what we saw of Stella was really short (amounting to 36 seconds of screen time within the entire first season), it would seem we had a potential for a very intriguing character.

Sure, all we saw of her so far was her telling Stolas to take care of Octavia, her yelling at Stolas over his affair, her yelling at Striker to not fail again, and then a silent cameo. But hey, surely Season 2 would finally give us some much needed development. Maybe we would get a glimpse of how she and Stolas met, a better look at what Stella was like before Blitzo, and maybe see how her relationship with Stolas had deteriorated. And maybe finally see what her and Octavia’s relationship is like. Heck, in February 2022, we learn that she has a brother in Andrealphus (described as Stolas’s shitty brother-in-law):

Andrealphus

So, yeah, it looked like we were in for something very neat… but what we got was…

The Circus (woo…)

After a long hiatus brought upon by an episode being stuck in legal limbo, the season 2 premiere came out, being ‘The Circus’, an episode that would go into Stolas’ past at two points in his life, being his childhood and to right before his affair with Blitzo, as well catching up with him after the events of ‘Ozzie’s’. Naturally, Stella would be in this episode.

The episode opens up on a child Stolas’ birthday, where he meets with his father Paimon, who proceeds to tell him what is expected of him as a Goetia, giving him the grimoire. He would also point out briskly that he is to be married, showing a… well, not so flattering pic of his to-be wife.

Child Stella tormenting two quieves (The Circus (S2, E1))

(Yeah, that’s what they’re called. Vivienne (or someone) made the conscious decision to name a species after a woman’s genital flatulence. Riveting 🙄)

And naturally, child Stolas is not enthused, crying on sight.

Okay, so Stella apparently was a little terror growing up. Okay, not too terrible, I mean, considering what we have seen of her in the first season, it would track that she grew up with anger issues her whole life, and it followed her well into adulthood. But it does confirm that Stolas and Stella were an arranged marriage… so perhaps, this could simply be her lashing out? I mean, Stolas wasn’t thrilled, so I doubt she would too.

Now, despite being shown this pic, we never do see child Stella in person, this part of the episode being dedicated to Stolas meeting and spending the day with child Blitzo, culminating in him tricking Stolas into helping him rob the palace blind and give the loot to Blitzo’s asshole dad Cash. All of which is a whole nother beast. But let’s save that for another day.

We skip ahead 25 years later in the episode, where we see a grown up Stolas waking up and going about his morning, eventually seeing Stella on the phone:

Stella on the phone (The Circus (S2, E1))

She seems to ignore Stolas as she goes about talking loudly to someone on the phone talking about how being married still is not a big occasion, but apparently, ‘it’s not easy being married to a boring stiff.’, and brushes Stolas off when he tries to greet her. Seconds later, Stolas would frown and ask about a ‘Still Not Divorced Party’ that she is throwing, where she nonchalantly said she likes throwing parties, and it’s true either way, and then said he could come if he wants.

Okay, this is… nothing new. I mean, Stolas and Stella were already on the decline even before Stolas and Blitzo happened, if that flashback at the start of ‘Loo Loo Land’ was any indication, and since we know they were forced to marry, even more of a reason for Stella to not be kind to him. But hey, at least in this scene, she’s not yelling, like in 90% of the screen time she had in season one.

We then cut to the ‘Still Not Divorced’ party where we see Stella chatting with those two owls that Stella (her old design at least) was with in the Pilot and…

Stella with those two owls that were in the Pilot (The Circus (S2, E1))

(seriously, who are these two?)

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Stella: (laughs loudly) No! Stolas is terrible in bed! I swear to fuck, he just lays there staring at the wall, and I have to do everything! It’s embarrassing! (sighs) I’m glad one egg fell out of me, so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass. (it’s shown that she said this right in earshot of Stolas, as the trio walks away, Stella giving a smug grin at him) Stella: What a pathetic fucking man

---------------------------------------------------------------

O-kay, this is before Stolas’ affair with Blitzo, right? I mean, we do see Blitzo sneaking around at the start of this part of the episode. If so, why is Stella being such a bitch here? I mean, I get she isn’t a pleasant person, but at least in season one, when we did see her, she had the excuse of Stolas cheating on her. Sure, it doesn’t justify trying to have him killed, but you could at least understand why she might not care for Stolas.

But here? All unprovoked and take note of what she said, because I will get into that soon.

So, after Stella leaves, Stolas and Blitzo reunite and we get a re-enactment of Blitz sneaking out with the grimoire from the Pilot, this time from Stolas’ perspective, and Stella simply shouts at him what the fuck was that, and Stolas smugly shout that it was the SOUND OF A FUCKING DIVORCE… even though in ‘Loo Loo Land’, he was being completely apologetic and said it was a spur of the moment thing and they didn’t have time for a motel, completely contradicting this scene, thus making it another point against this episode. But hey, at least it can’t get worse? Right?

Anyways, we cut to present day, after the events of ‘OZZIE’S’, where a heartbroken Stolas sings a song that’s supposed to be sorrowful, but just comes off as a bit wangsty, and then Stella comes in, wondering what he’s blubbering about, and Stolas asks what Stella is doing here and…

I like tormenting you

Tormenting you

Tor. Men. Ting. You.

(Okay, this would make more sense if this was in a video format, but imagine if the audio get lower and slower)

So… yeah, turns out Stella… is a psycho bitch, who just likes to make Stolas suffer because… well, there is no reason. She’s just into that shit.

And if that wasn’t enough, when Stolas calls her out for her cruelty and tells her that they’re getting that divorce… she tries to hit him.

So not only is she a psycho bitch, but she’s also a domestic abuser. Well, that’s a whole nother can of worms right there.

There’s so much to unpack here, but I feel we should at least cover the rest of her appearances in the series so far.

She would not appear again till ‘Western Energy’, but she does have a brief voiced cameo in ‘Seeing Stars’, the following episode (and another stinker at that), where Stolas is arguing with her while overseeing the ‘safe transferal’ of her possessions:

“What? No! I’m not turning her against you!” - Stolas (Seeing Stars (S2, E2))

Now this line could mean two different things. One, Stella is simply trying to start shit by bringing her up. Two, she is genuinely concerned (in her own way) that Stolas would try to turn her against her, which would be a legit concern in a messy divorce (this is coming from a child of such a divorce).

However, we have no way of knowing as Stella and Octavia had never interacted, like at all. Again, we’re gonna get to that, but this is another problem.

Anyways, we get to ‘Western Energy’, which opens up on Stolas, Stella, and…

…I’m sorry, who the fuck is this guy? (Western Energy (S2, E4))

Yeah, so we are joined by Stella’s brother, Andrealphus… and the show just acts like we should know who he is already.

Mind you, he has never made an appearance before this point. The only allusion we get that he existed (in-show) was Stella mentioning his name before she tries to slap Stolas in ‘The Circus’. All we get is that and that he’s apparently ‘arrogant’, according to Stolas.

Remember that tweet from February 2022, that first showed off Andrealphus? Yeah, apparently Viv and the writers thought that the tweet would suffice for an introduction, and they could just slip him into the show as if he’s always been there. This is a problem for so many reasons, the main being Vivienne and co, had already developed a bad rep for hiding lore and contextual details in supplementary media, such as Patreon or Q&A livestreams, as well as making tweets after a episode to explain something that really should had been in the episode to begin with. But not everyone has Twitter (or X as it’s called now), and unless someone showed him to you beforehand, you probably would have been confused as to who he is.

Like god damn, Viv, it’s not like there was a certain ‘Still Not Divorced’ party consisting of Goetias that Andrealphus could had easily been a part of, especially since he’s Stella’s brother, that would had not only introduced him but possibly established his role in the series, but naw, let’s just hope people seen that tweet and know who he is.

But let’s get back to Stella, shall we? Anyways, Stella and Andrealphus called Stolas here to discuss ‘compensation’ for his cheating, which amounts to some name-calling, and is quickly interrupted by Striker, who proceeds to kidnap Stolas (with Stolas catching on that Stella hired him to kill him).

We join them again halfway through the episode where Andrealphus and Stella are having tea at his palace, the two having some cheerful evil sibling banter… but then…

Andrealphus scheming… and Stella’s just sitting there (Western Energy (S2, E4))

---------------------------------------------------------------

Andrealphus: You silly minx, you (giggles). Though, you know, if your husband dies it won't turn out well for you.

Stella: He'll be dead; why wouldn't it?

Andrealphus: (somewhat concerned) Because, my dear sister, he's already produced an heir; when he dies, his duties, his possessions, his legions, it'll all pass to.... Via.

(Stella absentmindedly continues to drink without acknowledging him.)

Andrealphus: (annoyed) If you kill him, you would....

Stella: Laugh? Ha-

Andrealphus: (facepalms in anger) No, you stupid cow! You'd get nothing!... You're so lucky that you're attractive.

Stella: Well, what do you propose we do? He won't leave me anything willingly; he hates me almost as much as I hate him.

Andrealphus: Hmm. Well, this kind of situation is extremely unique; a Goetia has never behaved like this before. *stands up from his chair and walks behind Stella* But, with him alive, we have options. Opportunities. An eternity's a long time, my dear; I say we bide our time, and wait for our chance to... GAIN the upper hand.

Stella: (begins to pout and whine) Oohhhhhh, but I want him dead so badly!

Andrealphus: And he will be, in time, my fiery vixen. But, patience first; now, *hands her his customized phone* call off your mangy stray.

---------------------------------------------------------------

…Okay, so not only is she a psycho bitch, a domestic abuser…

Pictured above: a air-headed bimbo (Western Energy (S2, E4))

A DUMBASS.

I know I said Stella wanted Stolas dead, be damned the consequences, but they make her so narrow-minded that she does not realize that she would definitely get nothing, Andrealphus having to spell it out for her. In fact, that’s pretty much was the point of Andrealphus’ being in this episode: to tell Stella to tell Striker to not kill Stolas. You could have easily removed him and had Stella come to this conclusion herself… or better yet, since Striker would lose to Moxxie and Millie, just remove the scene altogether and have it be just another failure.

I could have bought that this narrow-mindedness was a product of her anger issues, because that has been established… but here? It’s because she’s dumb and she needs her big brother to tell her no. Not only does it already make her already wallowing character worse, but she is practically now playing second fiddle to her brother, making her less of a threat, and not helping Viv in beating the allegations of her female characters only be props to males. Also, what is that incestuous vibe they got going there? Is that something that’s going to be important or be forgotten with the rest of the hanging plot threads?

And that’s pretty much all we see of her up to this point. It is possible that she will appear in the season finale (if the leaks from January 2023 are anything to go by), but considering there’s 5 episodes left in the season, and what we did get of her so far was… it’s bad. Bad, bad, bad.

So… what went wrong here?

Well, to put it in layman’s terms, they took a character with a lot of potential, a wife scorned by her unfaithful husband to the point of wanting him dead… and turned her into a one-note baddie whose sole purpose is to make Stolas miserable and nothing else… plus she’s stupid.

That’s pretty much the way to put it. And many people had voiced their dismay at this… and all the defenders and stans came out and tried to argue (or harass) people for voicing their displeasure with how this character was handled. So, I will try to voice why I feel that the writers here royally fucked up.

Point #1: Was this always fated to be? Was this a retcon? I don’t know, I barely know the lady!

So, one of the most common arguments that came up regarding Stella when ‘The Circus’ came out and messed everything up was:

“This was always how she was meant to be.”

“She was always a bad person.”

“Stella simps be mad, lol.”

I’m paraphrasing of course, but yeah, the consensus among the defenders and stans was that this was all part of Vivienne’s big plan, and she was always going to be this evil psycho bitch.

On the flip side, I had heard many fans (including the simps) complain that this was a retcon, that they had decided partway through production to just go full ‘I’m an evil piece of shit who strangles puppies and drinks childrens’ tears’ with her.

As for me, I personally disagree with the retcon… but not because it isn’t. It’s for the simple fact that for a retcon to occur, there would have to be something to retcon to begin with!

This must bear reminding, she only had 36 seconds of screen-time in the entirety of season one. 36 seconds, little over half a minute. And it’s spread across these three scenes in two episodes (excluded the cameo in Ozzie's):

Loo Loo Land (Scene 1): she didn’t want to get up with Stolas to tend to Octavia, and she hogs the blankets.

Loo Loo Land (Scene 2): She’s pissed at Stolas for cheating on her with an imp, throwing imps and stuff around

Harvest Moon Festival (Scene 3): She wants Stolas dead for cheating on her, hiring Striker

In my opinion, the only scene that could undeniably be considered evil in this scenario is her hiring Striker to kill Stolas, but even then, it’s fueled by her wanting revenge for his infidelity (or rather, cheating with an imp). The other two were subjective, and could be interpreted many ways. All that could really be established before ‘The Circus’ was her and Stolas’ relationship was already on the decline and the affair really pissed Stella to the point that she wanted him dead. Everything else has been pretty up to interpretation, and that’s the problem.

On top of there only being 36 seconds of Stella, this was all over the course of a season, which lasted a year (excluding the delayed ‘Queen Bee’ which aired nearly two years later), and it would be around nine months before she and the series returned in ‘The Circus’. With what little there was of her, people had to use their imagination to determine what kind of character she would be:

Would she be a psychotic elitist racist, driven mad by the humiliation and rage of being cheated on with an imp? Or is someone fueled by the human desire to keep up appearances, beaten into her by a draconic hierarchy of Goetias who frowns upon the first sight of weakness? Does she see her daughter as a chess piece, intending to use her to further her agenda, or mold her into a replica of herself? Or does she truly love her daughter, which factors into why she loathes Stolas for ‘shattering’ their family? Hell, were she and Stolas friends at one point, or at least acquaintances? And was she capable of speaking like a normal person instead of screaming almost all her lines?

There were so many ways Stella’s character could have been utilized, some of which I had seen done in several fanfictions and fan comics over the course of the series. With such possibilities created expectations and hype that probably got a bit too high, but surely, if at the very least, after a very decent season one, they wouldn’t mess this up?

Well, they did.

Of all the ways they could had gone with Stella, they settled for what I believe to be the lowest denominator of a personality which is simply:

‘I am evil… maniacal laugh’

Now, I can already hear someone saying:

‘Oh, you’re just mad that Stella didn’t turn out the way you wanted.’

Granted, that is a fair argument. Again, with how little we got of her and how long the wait between episodes are, it is possible that people had set their expectations too high and they got themselves overhyped. But counterpoint: this argument only works if the character still turned out good and you just weren’t happy with the end results.

Emphasis on ‘if the character still turned out good’.

This ‘characterization’ Stella got in ‘The Circus’ amounts to ‘She was evil from the day she was born, and she hates Stolas. She hates Stolas very much.’ That’s it. That’s the rub. And following that episode, we could also add that ‘she’s dumb and narrow-minded, with her brother being a bit too infatuated with her’.

One of the big problems with this character we got is that it’s so flat. Like cardboard cutout-flat. This is infuriating because this is the same show that gave us characters that are layered and complex: you got a foul-mouth crazy clown in Blitzo who harbors a lot of guilt and self-hatred. You got a perverted demon prince in Stolas who might want something more with his impish plaything. You have a neurotic straight man in Moxxie, struggling with his own self-image. Hell, even Loona has some sort of a heart under that cold surly front. There’s also Millie, but that’s another issue for another day.

The point is, all these characters had depth and nuances to them… and Stella does not. I am not saying Stella being irredeemably evil is bad. There are several villains designed like this that are loved and applauded. In fact, later that year, we would get a villain like Stella, but done a lot better.

Jack Horner (Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (2022))

Meet Jack Horner. He is one of the three antagonists from ‘Puss In Boots: The Last Wish’. Compared to the far more sympathetic Goldilock and the Three Bears and the force of nature that is Death, Jack Horner is as evil as you can get, intending to use the Wishing Star to hoard all the magic to himself, callously treating his men as expendable till it comes down to just him, and is willing to do anything, going as far as to shoot a puppy (in the face by the way, why you ask), that even his ‘conscience’ (the Ethical Bug that’s clearly supposed to be Jiminy Cricket) outrights calls him a ‘irredeemable monster’. His response?

“Woah, woah. What took you so long, idiot?”

However, despite this, Jack is considered one of the best parts of the film, many finding him hilarious and hammy, yet somehow managing to be a menacing threat. But what made him stand out was at the time, there was this belief that irredeemable villains (or rather ‘evil for the sake of being evil’), examples being like the villains from the older Disney movies or from Saturday morning cartoons, were considered boring, less interesting than other villain archetypes, such as tragic villains or twist villains (which was Disney’s go-to for villains when not using generational trauma). Jack was considered a breath of fresh air, managing to be a memorable villain without needing any complexity or sympathetic qualities.

Now, where did Jack succeed and Stella fail?

To begin, it’s hard to make a fair comparison, as Stella is an antagonist from an indie animated adult series while Jack is from a film made by Dreamworks, and a part of a famous franchise that is Shrek. Be that as it may, I do strongly believe that Jack Horner is a good example of how to do a villain like Stella properly.

Now, Jack only has five and a half minutes of screen time and by god, does he make every scene he appears in count. Whether it’s John Mulaney’s voice-acting, the comedic timing, or just how he owns how evil he is. And he is given a backstory, where he was overshadowed by Pinocchio of all people, but the movie makes no attempt to try and make him sympathetic. They even lampshades this in a scene where he said he didn’t have much… and then proceeded to describe a very well-off lifestyle.

I do believe that why ‘I like tormenting you’ Stella doesn’t hit the same marks is that we initially had no clear indication that Stella is this horrid, irredeemable monster that hated Stolas just for breathing in season one. Sure, she wanted him dead for cheating, but this takes place in Hell, where murder and destruction happens on a daily basis. Aside from that, we had no idea how Stella treated Stolas before Blitzo came along, or how she is when she isn’t being pissed off.

Even then, all of Stella’s evilness in Season Two pretty much revolved around just hating on Stolas for no reason and wanting him dead. That’s it. It’s the same ‘Stolas is (insult)’ in the little time she has that would get old if it had time to get old. In fact, literally all but one scene with her revolves around Stolas of some sorts. The one scene that didn’t was her and Andrealphus interacting in ‘Western Energy’, and I would say that, aside from Stella being portrayed as stupid, her banter with Andrealphus was one of her better scenes and that’s a very low bar to set.

It is possible that this kind of characterization would have worked if Stella was just given more time in season one to establish this ‘I like tormenting you’ mentality. I’m not saying add her in every episode willy-nilly, but if she had even a minute or two more of screen time they could have at least made her characterization in The Circus easier to digest and nip all the hype and rampant interpretations in the bud. Another idea, though harder to pull off, would have been to just remove her from the season altogether. She was already barely in the show to begin with, and maybe with some tweaking, she could have made her debut in season two, since that’s when she became more prominent. That way, people aren’t left waiting nearly two years speculating what kind of person Stella is only to be disappointed.

Even then though, there’s no guarantee that doing this would had salvaged canon Stella, as there’s a very glaring problem that would be:

Point #2: Screams of Silence: The Story of Stolas G.

Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse and Implied Rape

In ‘The Circus’, there are two scenes here that carry some very heavy implications. In the ‘Still Not Divorced’ party scene, as you may recall above, she says this line here:

And at the very end of the episode, when Stolas said they were getting the divorce…

Yeah, so it is pretty much shown that Stella is abusive to Stolas, both mentally and physically, and judging from Stella’s line at the party, it’s possible that Stella had also raped Stolas till they had conceived Octavia.

Now, this is a very dark and possibly interesting turn for the series: it is very rare to see a woman abusing a man in media, and considering how Stolas has homosexual leanings, that and the possible ‘rape’ could make for commentary regarding the awful things the LGBTQ+ community faced.

Honestly, it would have made for a good story… if this wasn’t Helluva Boss, a series that was supposed to be a comedy. A COMEDY. And here Viv and the writers go and drop both domestic abuse and rape in a show that would go on to have scenes like this:

Dicks in the wall (Exes and Oohs (S2, E3))

And this:

Not heard: Fizzarolli describing Ozzie’s dick (Oops (S2, E6))

Before people go and complain, I am aware that there have been dark scenes in otherwise light-hearted shows, and Helluva Boss is a black comedy, so dark stuff is to be expected. But there’s a very fine line you have to be careful of when inserting stuff, lest you have scenes like the attempted rape scene in Beethoven’s 2nd.

No. I am not making that up. In Beethoven’s 2nd, a family film mind you, there is a scene where a guy attempted to rape the eldest daughter. Nothing physical happens, just him locking her in the room with him, and Beethoven ends up saving her, but yeah, imagine finding something like that in a film aimed at kids.

Up to this point, Helluva Boss had been a show that didn’t take itself too seriously. Sure, there were some dramatic scenes here and there, especially when it came down to ‘Truth Seekers’ and ‘OZZIE’S’, especially regarding Blitzo and Stolas. But even then, it was mostly relationship drama, which is par for the course for most comedy series.

But the two things that are very dangerous to handle in a comedy series, if not done tactfully, is domestic abuse or rape, and now, Helluva Boss had pulled that pin on the proverbial grenade.

There are several problems with this and I will try to tackle them. First off, let’s address the ‘possible’ rape allegation.

Note how I have been saying ‘possible’ for the past few paragraphs? Well, here’s the thing: like Stella herself season one, it’s all up to interpretation. Yes, it’s possible to see where people drew the conclusion that Stella did what she did to Stolas, but it is also very possible that Stolas simply was not attracted and therefore saw no point in trying to enjoy it. Whether this is because he was gay (fun fact: Stolas has not been officially confirmed to be gay. Look it up. I mean, it’s obvious he’s not straight, but it’s possible he could still be bi (or pan). So if you wanna ship girls with Stolas, go nuts), or were simply not into Stella in particular, no one can say for certain.

Also, there’s a line that I feel people either hadn’t noticed or ignored in Stella’s conversation:

“I’m glad one egg fell out of me, so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass.”

Unlike Stolas being bad in bed, this line pretty much spelt it out that Stella didn’t want to have sex with Stolas either. But since an heir is what was expected of them, they pretty much had to, with Stella probably being the one who had to make the effort. A fellow critic, Schjiro, explained it to me as ‘Emotionless Fornication’, where neither party had any feeling whatsoever when engaging in intercourse. So, as far as we know, neither party wanted to do it, but had to in order to produce a precautionary heir, with Stella being the one to make the effort. Again, it is possible to see how one drew the horrid conclusion, but one thing to remember is that implication does not mean facts. Not to mention if Stella really did ‘rape’ Stolas, this would in turn mean that Octavia was a product of rape, and that is a new level of dark that I feel Helluva Boss is very ill-equipped to tackle. And even then, why is no one paying attention to the fact that Stella herself didn’t want to have sex with Stolas? That I will cover in the next point.

Now, for the domestic abuse aspect of the relationship.

Unlike the rape, there’s less room for implications, as canon Stella really took no prisoners when it comes to laying out the verbal abuse. And with it comes mental abuse. That part is covered. However, when it comes to physical abuse… that is where things get a bit wonky.

Aside from throwing objects at him in ‘Loo Loo Land’, this is the only instance in the series where Stella had physically attacked Stolas directly. Many fans/stans had taken how Stolas caught her hand so easily as her having done this many times in their marriage and Stolas had gotten so used to the physical abuse to expect it. While a plausible theory, one of the issues I have with this is if you recall that image from before...

Stella’s slap could have been seen a mile away. Now, arguably, Stolas could have just taken it, having grown accustomed to the abuse, but it’s just as plausible that Stolas caught it because it was so easily choreographed. Even then, there’s another issue I have with this.

Can Stella even physically hurt Stolas? No, I’m serious here. Can Stella actually hurt Stolas and make him bleed and stuff? It is something I have seen in many fanarts depicting the abuse, but the thing is, it was established in ‘Harvest Moon Festival’ that demon royalty can only be killed by blessed weapons. However, the show never establishes if the same rule applies to being hurt.

What I mean is, there has never been an in-show occurrence where Stolas was hurt by anything that wasn’t a blessed weapon. The only time we ever see Stolas being hurt by something at all is in this Instagram post here (after ‘Truth Seekers’):

Stolas apparently needed his arm bandaged due to a bear trap. Now, this would have made Stella being a physical abuser work… but the thing is: the instagram posts aren’t exactly canon. They do allude to things that do happen in the series proper but I believe Viv went on record to say that they were mostly for fun and weren’t to be taken seriously. So that’s a bust. But even if Stolas was able to be hurt by normal means, there’s another problem: look at ‘Western Energy’:

Striker using a ‘blessed’ weapon (Western Energy (S2, E4))

Striker here was using a blessed weapon to torture Stolas, and was gonna use it to kill him (until Stella called off the hit). And because of it, Stolas was in pretty bad shape. Now, it could be argued that Striker made his dagger ‘blessed’ so that when torturing Stolas, it would hurt more, inflicting maximum pain before going for the kill. But the thing is…

Stolas, tortured to an inch of his life by blessed weapons, was completely and utterly fine within a week as of 'Oops'. And yes, it has been a week. Earlier in ‘Oops’, Striker flat out states that he had a ‘royal on the ropes just last week’ (being Stolas). Like god damn, if Stolas could easily shrug off injuries inflicted by blessed weapons, what does that say for anything Stella could do? It’s not like Stella’s hands are made of blessed metal. And Stella has not been shown to have any sort of powers or abilities that could be considered harmful.

Now, I’m not saying that men can’t be abused by women, clearly they can. And there has been a couple of times in media it has happened. But the problem I am having is Stolas time and time again is proven to be a powerful demon prince capable of fucking shit up, yet we are expected to believe that Stella could ever lay a hand on Stolas.

In fact, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to say Stella abusing Stolas would be like if Lois Lane was abusive to Superman. Like, be a total piece of shit all you want to this person, the only reason you’re still kicking is because the other guy is too polite, too chicken-shit, or just doesn't care enough to raze you into the ground.

The only edge Stella would have on Stolas is the fact that she is more social and being a woman, she could easily play the wounded gazelle and manipulate the Ars Goetia family into turning on Stolas, not to mention there’s Octavia to consider, arguably Stolas’ biggest Kryptonite by far. However, even then, that’s debatable, on the fact that Stolas by all accounts should outrank Stella.

If Stolas and Stella’s marriage failed, it would more than likely be blamed on Stella more than anything, and as Andrealphus pointed out, she would end up with nothing. And to be frank, it’s not like Stolas had been facing any actual legal repercussions for his affair with Blitzo. As it stands, Stella is only a threat to Stolas… because the writers want her to be. Never mind that Stolas is stronger, has more importance and the fact that Stella is pretty much a joke next to her, which makes the fact that we’re supposed to fear her as this domestic abuser even more laughable. And on that side note, if Stolas is a battered spouse who suffered under Stella for so long, why the hell did he agree to meet her and Andrealphus at that cafe? You would think that a victim of abuse, even if they had gathered the courage to leave, would think twice before agreeing to meet a person that physically and verbally abuses you. Especially if it leads to an assassin kidnapping you and torturing you.

Even then, that barely scratches the surface of why this domestic abuse angle doesn't work.

Now, as it had been established, canon Stella as of now has little personality beyond hating Stolas and being a psycho bitch. The line ‘I like tormenting you’ sold that pretty well. But here’s the thing though:

The face of an awful domestic abuser… apparently

Am I expected to believe that this woman is a heartless abuser, let alone take her seriously?

Remember, this series was meant to be a comedy, and Stella, in every other scene except the one at the end of ‘The Circus’, had been established as a loud-mouthed, crass, entitled, bratty bully. You know, the kind of antagonist you expect out of a comedy. Yet, here they are, trying to shoehorn in a domestic abuse plotline that’s supposed to be taken as serious. If this was in a series like Bojack Horseman, or hell, even a younger-focused series like Avatar: The Last Airbender, where drama and serious storytelling take priority over funny moments, this might have worked.

But the thing is, there’s a reason abusive women characters worked. Case in point:

Lady Tremaine & Mother Gothel

These two are probably some of the first characters that come to mind when you think of abusive characters. And they share a lot of similarities to Stella herself. Granted, their abuse was more aimed at children rather than a spouse, but they are good templates for what makes a good ‘abusive’ character.

Lady Tremaine (otherwise known as The Stepmother) is a status-focused woman who carries herself with a sense of superiority and smugness (not unlike Stella) strongly mistreated her stepdaughter Cinderella, forcing her to serve her and her biological daughters as a servant. While we don’t see this abuse on-screen (as this was a Disney movie for kids), every time she was on screen, you worry for Cinderella, especially in scenes like when she is talking to Cinderella from her bed in the bedroom, when she raises her voice. Her scenes are pretty much devoid of the light-heartedness and comedy you expect out of a film with talking mice, and despite never raising a hand towards Cinderella, she’s god-damn scary, and is considered one of Disney’s better villains, up there with the likes of Maleficent (who by the way, would be voiced by the same voice actress years later). And like Stella, she isn’t given a sympathetic backstory (though the live action remake many decades later would try to humanize her), and while nowadays, she might not be as compelling, she’s the poster child for the Wicked Stepmother archetype.

Mother Gothel is portrayed in a way more akin to how abusers would act in real life. When we first meet her, it’s established that she’s a selfish vain woman obsessed with maintaining her youth, hoarding a magical flower for herself to do so. And when this flower was taken and used to cure the ailing queen, Gothel goes as far as kidnapping the queen’s baby Rapunzel, who retained the flower’s power, when she couldn’t simply take her hair. Since then, Mother Gothel raised Rapunzel as if she was her own and pretty much emotionally and psychologically manipulates her into staying within the tower, her roots taking hold so deep that Rapunzel herself dare not defy her, out of fear of being a bad daughter to her, and Gothel does all this with such a saccharine demeanor. However, there are moments where the mask slips, like at the end of her song ‘Mother Knows Best’ where she flat out told her never to ask to leave the tower again, or towards the climax of the film, where she willingly put Rapunzel in danger with the Stabbington Brothers just to prove her point and scare her into coming back with her. But the mask is pretty much off when Rapunzel wises up to her manipulations and she flat out willing to force her into servitude to her just so she can maintain her youth forever. Oh, and side note, in the animated series, she abandoned her own biological daughter so she could steal and hide Rapunzel. Real mother of the year there. I’m not a psych expert, so I can’t go into all how Mother Gothel is a stellar example of an abusive villain, but someone that Stella wishes she could be.

So why does Stella not work like these two? Well, a major factor to consider is: domestic abuse is not a joking matter. Lady Tremaine and Mother Gothel are characters that are often written in a way that they are treated as serious threats, with their horrible actions never played for laughs. Sure, Gothel does have a few funny moments, but it never takes away from the horrible things she did in the film. This is often applied to almost every abusive character in media, from cartoons to movies. When done properly, the abusive characters are almost never played for laughs, and their abusive actions, be it towards spouses or children, are never taken lightly. If abuse is ever treated as a joke, it is usually done in poor taste… or you’re South Park or someone into edgy humor.

Stella doesn’t work because she is a supposed abuser in a show that plays physical abuse for laughs. In other words, she is:

Jeffrey Fecalman (Family Guy, Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q. (S10, E3))

Jeffrey Fecalman, or just Jeff, is a minor one-shot character that appeared in ‘Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q.’ (he did actually appear a few seasons earlier in a scene in ‘Jerome’s The New Black’) in the season ten episode of Family Guy, and hoo boy, this episode is considered one of Family Guy’s worst episodes for its very poor handling of the subject matter.

The problems were numerous: one, the abuse victim Brenda is the sister of Quagmire, who is infamous for his sexual exploits that would not fly today in the current tv environment, taking advantage of women just like his sister. Two, the way the main cast handled the situation is so awful, from victim blaming, to Joe the cop not arresting Jeff when he flat out is abusing her right in front of him, to deciding to kill Jeff on the belief that abusers never change, getting so much about domestic abuse wrong.

And lastly… well, Jeff is characterized as an unsympathetic piece of shit who beats Brenda over the littlest things, yet for some reason, Brenda refuses to leave him, and has no personality beyond that. Sounds familiar? Jeff is pretty much Stella, but over ten years earlier. And like Stella, Jeff is portrayed in such a ham-fisted way that he is impossible to take seriously as a domestic abuser. And that should be a warning that you have done something severely wrong.

Now, I should state this, because I recall a conversation on Twitter I had when talking about Stella a year ago, when I criticized just how too cartoony Stella was to be a domestic abuser. A person did call me out, saying that they knew someone just like Stella, down to her demeanor. I am by no means trying to say that people who behave just like Stella or Jeff can’t exist. After all, reality is stranger than fiction. And I am sorry that you had to put up with someone like that and I hope you’re doing well.

That being said, it does not take away from the fact that Jeff and Stella are terrible as abusive villains, not just because they act in such a way that’s impossible to take seriously, but because of the world/series they live in.

Jeff is a serious domestic abuser in Family Guy, a show that is infamous for all sorts of abuse that is always played for laughs, especially towards Butt Monkey poster child Meg Griffin. Hell, this episode is immediately after another infamous episode where Meg called out her family for their abuse… but then proceeds to stay and take the abuse so they wouldn’t lash out at each other. Needless to say, it’s no surprise that Family Guy got lambasted for this episode.

But what about Stella? Well, on top of Blitzo treating Moxxie like crap and disrespecting him time and time again, we get lovely scenes like this in the very next episode of Helluva Boss.

Shown: Loona kicking Blitzo in the balls (Seeing Stars (S2, E2))

In this also very divisive episode, Loona treats Blitzo, her adoptive father, like absolute dogshit, beating him up in the first image for offering constructive criticism over her job as a receptionist (which we never seen her do since the pilot), letting Octavia slip in and steal the book (probably out of spite for Blitz), disregarding Blitz’s orders to find Octavia until she had a ‘change of heart’ when Blitz and Stolas are taken to the studios, and lastly, Blitz, feeling sudden remorse for threatening to replace her (even though she dared him to do it) tries to apologize… only to get kicked in the balls. And mind you, this is right after a touching scene with Octavia, where Loona told her to cut her dad some slack (someone who she had zero interactions with beforehand) because they screwed up… when Blitz really hadn’t screwed up at all in the series that we had seen. It all comes off as very hollow.

And not once is Loona’s abuse and disrespect of Blitzo treated with a modicum of seriousness. Hell, I’ve seen many people rush to Loona’s defense, arguing that Loona was justified because of her past and that she didn’t like being touched. Hell, one person tries arguing that Blitzo used micro-aggression. I got the whole ‘media literacy is dead’ for speaking up about Loona’s behavior. It’s all something that we are supposed to just laugh and find amusing…

One question though… WHERE THE FUCK WAS ANY OF THIS DEFENSE FOR STELLA?!

This is the very reason domestic abuse is not something you can just drop in a show, let alone a comedy that uses physical slapstick as a joke. Because if you drop in a domestic abuse story and play it straight for an episode, but then turn around and do an episode where another person do the same shit for the funnies, it causes a massive tone inconsistency (something Helluva Boss is infamous for now) and confusion, making people wonder if they are supposed to laugh or take things seriously. Even then, doing the abuse for the funnies gets old real quick, which is a problem Family Guy constantly combats with to this day.

Simply put, if you’re going to make a villain an abuser, you best be prepared to handle them seriously, and make sure it doesn’t go against the kind of show you’re running. Otherwise, don’t get mad when people get upset.

That being said, now is the time to tackle the last problem about Stella:

Point #3: Making Stella look bad so Stolas looks good

A very common complaint that people had concerning Stella following ‘The Circus’ was that Stella was written the way she was so that Stolas, her husband and one of the main characters, would appear better in terms of morality. And hoo boy, there is so much truth to this statement than you realize.

But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s get familiar with Stolas.

Stolas Goetia is a prince from the Ars Goetia family, based on the demon of the same name. He is Stella’s husband, and the father of Octavia, and his affair with Blitzo is a major plot point within the series.

He’s a very divisive character in the fandom: either you love him and would die for him… or you think he’s the worst thing ever and should go die in the ditch. Regardless, his character in season one was one of intrigue: he is similar in some ways to Stella, treating imps, Blitzo included, as lesser races, and constantly flirts (to a very uncomfortable degree) and condescends Blitzo on several occasions. In fact, some fans goes as far as to say he’s sexually coercing Blitz, if the nature of their deal is anything to go by (to make a long story short, in ‘Murder Family’, he proposed the infamous full moon deal where he and Blitz must have sex for the book… while Blitz is running for his life from Satanist cannibals). Yeah, not a very good look.

Not to say he was without good points, as he loves his daughter Octavia dearly, but Stolas is a very flawed individual whose affair and behavior had an effect on the people around him, Stella and Octavia included, and it was for these flaws that he and Blitz were called out in ‘House of Asmodeus’ and Stolas ends up creating a rift between him and Blitz as a result of it. While Stolas may be divisive, his character was complex and intriguing, and hey, it’s not everyday that you see a flawed queer character in media. The keyword being ‘was’. Yeah, Stella wasn’t the only victim of ‘The Circus’.

Pictured: A very sad boi (The CIrcus (S2, E1))

So, as mentioned in Point #1, ‘The Circus’ served as the backstory of Stolas, revealing how he was arranged to marry to Stella at a young age, and to get him to cease his ‘bitch crying’ from his less than stellar father, he took him to the eponymous ‘circus’, where Stolas meets Blitzo as a kid (that’s an issue for another day), Paimon ‘buys’ Blitzo for a day and Blitzo’s dad have him rob the place with no consequences and serve no purpose other to maybe let Blitzo know that Stolas had a grimoire?

25 years later, we find out Stella is always a P.O.S. and Blitzo comes back into his life, and rather than it being a sordid affair that happened all the sudden… it is now Stolas really misread the situation and thought Blitz was coming onto him and Blitz only fucked him out of pity (another issue for another day). We then cut to the next morning, where we get a recap of the pilot scene with Stella, except Stolas proudly brag that it was the ‘sound of a fucking divorce’, which contrasts how apologetic he was in ‘Loo Loo Land’ (Vivienne said it was a ‘high’ Stolas was experiencing at the moment but eh…).

Then we cut to the present day, and the scene above. Stolas is sad, takes antidepressants, and begins to ‘lament’ about his love life. Except, he’s not lamenting how badly he hurt Blitz or anything… he lamenting how he misread Blitzo not being in love with him. I mean, that is a problem, but not the right one to be focusing on.

Anyways, the song ends with Stella’s interruption, and we get the infamous ‘I like tormenting you’ scene, but there’s a line here that bears reading:

“I know what I did. I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn’t do that. You and I were arranged for one reason; to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more. I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us; to have this family, but it was never enough. The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life… I cannot do this anymore. I want you out. Now.”

Stolas

So… yeah, you may notice how unbelievably ‘sad’ Stolas was portrayed in this episode. Well, I hope you enjoy this sad gay owl because this is Stolas’ character now. That’s right, gone is the complex, morally dubious owl who arranged a deal with this random imp to fuck him for his book, whose affair that strained his relationship with his daughter and made his wife want to kill him. Here now is a wangsty owl who’s sad that the imp he knew only for a day, who robbed him and then try to rob him again of his grimoire only to fuck him out of pity, and is a poor, poor victim of his evil wife who he was forced to marry and couldn’t divorce for some reason for his daughter.

And this here marks one of the major reasons I did not like the direction they took with Stella. By making Stella a flat evil gay husband beater of a wife, they’re absolving Stolas of his affair with Blitzo. If you think I’m overexaggerating, just take a look at this line in ‘Western Energy’

“Andrealphus, cheating implies there was a betrayal. This woman never gave two shits about me or our very much arranged marriage. As far as I’m concerned, this divorce is far overdue.”

Stolas

Like I said, absolving him of cheating. I’m not going to get into the argument of whether or not it’s morally correct to cheat on someone who treats you like crap. However, I’m of the belief that two wrongs don’t make a right. His cheating may or may not have hurt Stella, but it certainly hurt Octavia, and I find it weird that he apologizes to Octavia for his affair (that he continued to have) but not the woman he cheated on. Not to mention, as of time of writing, he isn’t brought to task on any of his other wrongdoings so far in season two.

He doesn’t reflect on his elitism and racism towards imps, he doesn’t reflect on how his cheating had hurt his family, or how kinda messed up his deal with Blitzo is. He’s just sad that Blitz doesn’t share his feelings. Hell, they never even had that conversation about their falling out after Ozzie’s, unless you count the text messages at the end of ‘Western Energy’. I mean, it could change with ‘Full Moon’, the very next episode to be released, but I’m not feeling hopeful.

Back to Stella, it speaks volumes how at the same time Stolas is made to be this poor sad perpetual victim, Stella is made to be this psychotic abuser. Which really sucks because Vivienne said that Stolas and Stella was supposed to be this whole thing where not one person was in the complete right. Yet, here we are, with Stolas being good and Stella being evil, with no nuance, complexity, or all that jazz. It definitely doesn’t help that Stella only had 36 seconds of screen time while Stolas had way more, making the imbalance even worse.

Not to mention that in ‘Loo Loo Land’, Octavia flat out mentioned that they didn’t used to hate each other. Yet from what we saw in ‘The Circus’, Stella… always hated Stolas. This could mean one of three things: one, Stolas somehow managed to hide the fact that Stella hates and possibly abuses him for 17 years. Two, Octavia is so sheltered and god-damn oblivious (or stupid) that she could not see her mom obviously hating on her father. Or three, this line was completely forgotten by Vivienne and her writers and should be disregarded. Any of these three does not scream good writing in my eyes.

While a simple black and white dynamic isn’t the worst thing, that was not what was set up. Stolas was flawed. Stella was flawed. They were both shitty people who handled their dysfunctional relationship poorly and it hurt their daughter. To simply change that into where the closeted gay owl is in the right while the evil straight swan woman is in the wrong just comes off as boring.

Another issue I have with this is… why is Stolas getting the preferential treatment? Yes, Stolas is the one being abused and insulted by the woman she was forced to marry… but that doesn’t quite change the fact that Stella herself was forced into the same arranged marriage. She was forced to produce a precautionary heir with Stolas. As TV Tropes put it, she’s drowning in the same pool as Stolas, and there’s that whole incestuous vibe going on with Andrealphus going on, implying not so good things. Yet, Stella is given no sympathy, not from the writers, not from a lot of the fans, nothing. I’m not saying Stella is justified in her horrible actions, she’s not, but the fact is a lot of fans just write her off because the writers chose to depict her as this flat villain. There are examples of many villains that would go on to do horrible things but have sad and/or tragic backgrounds that while does not justify their actions, it allows you to understand how they got to be the way they are.

Examples include a lot of the rogues’ gallery from Batman or Spiderman, Azula from ‘The Last Airbender’, Goro Akechi from ‘Persona 5’, Tai Lung from ‘Kung Fu Panda’ or Lord Shen from the sequel, Homelander or Soldier Boy from ‘The Boys’. Hell, Jack Horner from earlier would count. The list goes on and on. There are villains who go on to do the most heinous things, in spite of their backstories, yet they would all go on to have fans who like them.

Which brings to another point that irks me: the treatment the fans of Stella get. If you had been in the Helluva Boss or Hazbin Hotel fandom long enough, you would find that it is not a friendly place. I won’t get too much into it, but let’s just say criticism, good faith or not, was a big no-no, and questioning the questionable choices Viv and her writers make will get you harassed or labeled a misogynist or a homophobe.

When ‘The Circus’ came out, anyone who voiced their liking for Stella got it pretty bad, as fans/stans took anyone who liked her as a problematic person who supports her horrible actions and hates gays like Stolas or something to that effect. While it could be possible that some people do think that, others certainly don’t. And it really sucks because Stella fans get it the worse, especially compared to other abusive characters’ fans, such as Crimson (a homophobic mob boss who flat out hits his son on screen and murdered his wife) and Valentino (a pimp who rapes Angel Dust, a fan favorite). It was ostracizing to many fans who just wanted to enjoy their favorite character.

And I feel as the series goes on, it will probably get worse.

Closing words

So, where does that leave us now?

Well, unless someone from the development side of things speaks up, we will never know for sure what decisions were made that lead to the characters we are given today, but what we do know for certain is Stella got shafted. And shafted good.

An abysmally low screentime of 36 seconds in season one alone. Many ways that her story could have developed, only to go with the most barebone and arguably laziest direction imaginable. Even then, her character archetype was done better by villains such as Jack Horner. Her being an abuser and a possible rapist clashes with the tone of the show, as well as her given character, and again is done much better by other characters.And worse of all, her fans get shat on by other fans of the show.

As of today, she is a one note flat villain who serves no purpose but to make Stolas more sympathetic in spite of all of his problems that are still unaddressed and to now play second fiddle to her brother who literally was dropped into the show with no fanfare but a tweet from over a year earlier. We still have no idea what her relationship is to her daughter, but it is safe to assume that it will probably not be good (or if it is good, it would be because Octavia cannot see how obviously evil Stella or her brother is) and that’s even if it gets touched upon at all.

While there are other issues plaguing Helluva Boss (such as the treatment of female characters, especially Millie and Loona, or the fact that a show about imps running a murder business has hardly any imps running a murder business), Stella stands out as a shining example of how to botch a possibly compelling antagonist, and serves as a bitter reminder of what we could had versus what we have now.

Now, I should state that a lot of this is introspection and opinions on my part, and I’m sure if I were to show this to people on Twitter, they would rip it apart and call me a media illiterate fool who knows jack-shit about anything, and that’s if they don’t try to harass and dox me for talking at lengths about Stella of all people. Who knows with this fandom nowadays,

If you do not agree with any of this, I am more than willing to hear you out, but I won’t promise that I will change my stance. It’s all about having an open dialogue.

As for why I did all this? I cannot say for certain, but I guess I just wanted to share my two cents on why Stella failed so hard as a character for me, and how I wished she could have been so much better than what we ended up getting. That and possibly out of spite to all the people who insulted me for having opinions about this show and how Viv lets all of that bullshit go unchecked.

Well, I guess that is all for now. I guess I will see you all the next time I decide to try and do something like this again. If I ever try to do something like this again. Who knows. Thanks for reading and hearing me out. Also, I do want to apologize if all of this looks wonky to you, first time posting an actual blog and due to the image limit, I had to fix a few things so it would make sense. If there's any issues, let me know.

#helluva boss criticism #helluva critical #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss critical #s

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the-authoress-writes · 10 months

Text

Dangerous Games

Tom “Iceman” Kazansky x Navy Nurse Wife!reader

Synopsis: The saying goes “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes”.

Well, Mrs. Thomas Kazansky is about to learn another version of this saying; “Play dangerous games, win dangerous prizes”.

But she doesn’t exactly mind.

Warnings: Mrs. Kazansky gets a little frisky in public, but nothing explicit, some cursing, and a little bit of steaminess, but again, nothing explicit.

Author’s Note: “I don’t write reader fic”, she said.

“I really don’t”, she said.

But here we are.

And I entirely blame both @valmare and Val himself.

I wrote this as a writing exercise, actually, because @valmare and I have slightly different approaches to Tom Kazansky; she has a more dominant take on him, while mine is more romantic and soppy, but no less passionate (I think).

I wrote this just to see if I could somehow combine both traits/takes in one story.

And… hoo, boy, I like to think I was successful.

That, combined with reading one of my grandmother’s ancient Silhouette Romance novels, I thought it was about time that the turns were tabled on the men.

Let’s be the ones to snap them like twigs, and not the other way around.

Without further ado, here we are!

“So what’s on the agenda today,” she asked her husband, as he sat at the kitchen counter eating his breakfast, while she stood on the other side, finishing her cup of yogurt, before she had to head to work for the shift she was called to fill in at the last minute yesterday.

“Well,” Tom began, after swallowing, “not much, just a meeting which apparently couldn’t wait until Monday, in the afternoon—other than that, nothing else really.

And uh, Mav and the guys are coming back home tonight; like I said last week, Sli and I were going to greet them, and they’re going out for drinks at the O Club later, but I can tell them I can’t go—”

“No, you go, enjoy yourself, I know it’s been a while since you last saw Mav and the flyboys,” she smiled.

In a rare occurrence, Mav and Tom’s deployments didn’t match up, leaving him and Slider on shore, while Mav and Merlin, Wood and Wolf were at sea.

She could hear the calls Tom would make in the evenings to the Vinson, to the various officers who owed him, already rather influential at the recently-received rank of Lieutenant Commander, for updates on Mav in particular.

She’d heard the stories both from the man himself, and from Tom, how the Mitchell name hung like an albatross around the diminutive pilot’s neck, how his basic medical needs were overlooked by dint of his “traitorous” surname.

As a nurse, especially a Navy nurse, it was beyond unconscionable.

She was glad that Mav had Tom as a friend, and it touched her to see the care he extended to his whole TOPGUN class.

“Such a Mother Goose,” Mav and Slider would say, both with sadness, but the former with a soul-deep sadness.

“Are you sure, milaya?” Tom’s voice brought her back to the present, as he came around the counter to step into her personal space, his hands on her waist, infusing her whole being with the warmth that only he could give her. “Because I’m really feeling bad that I have basically a whole day off, and you have to work.

We could have a movie night with some popcorn and ice cream, and you can talk about how people like me are the craziest sons of bitches around,” he grinned, referring to how they met a little over three years ago, after a little training mishap. “I’ll gladly keep your misery company.”

She smiled, resting her hand on the chiseled plane of his bare chest, as her index finger idly played with the chain of his dog tags, “No, like I said, even last week, you go and enjoy yourself with the boys.” Her smile took on a more devilish quirk, “Besides, you can make it up to me later.”

Tom raised an eyebrow, “Oh, I can, can I?”

“I’m pretty sure you’ll manage,” she teasingly replied.

“Uh-huh,” he breathed, stepping impossibly closer, “and how exactly do you want me to make it up to you?”

“You’ll think of something.”

“How about a little down payment, then?”

He didn’t even bother waiting for her positive, always positive, response before one hand was buried in her hair, and his lips were on hers.

It was a kiss full of the easy confidence of a man who knew he was given what he took, and the passion and devotion of one who knew what a gift that was.

She could have gotten lost in her husband’s embrace and kiss for eternity, but the rude realization that she had a shift to prepare for, made her reluctantly, oh-so-reluctantly, push him away.

“As much as I’d really love to continue this, I can’t.

I have to go.”

He pouted like a child, the effect amusing to see on his already-full, kiss-swollen lips, and she gently carded her hand through his hair, soft and slightly curling without the gel, pushing it away from where it flopped onto his forehead. “I know most of this day didn’t pan out how we wanted it to, but we’ll make the best of it—we always do.”

“I know.

You’re sure it’s okay with you if I go out with the boys tonight?”

“Yes, Tom, how many times do I have to tell you?

Go have fun—but not too much fun,” she smiled.

He leaned forward, tucking his head into her neck, inhaling deeply, “You’re the only one I want to have fun with.”

“I would hope so, Thomas Vasilyevich,” she replied, lightly poking him in the side, “seeing as I’m your wife.”

“Oof,” he mock-winced, drawing back to look her in the eyes, “Russian naming me, huh?

Well, Mrs. Kazanskaya, two can play at that game,” he rejoined, leaning in to kiss her again.

However, she pushed him away, laughing, “You are a menace, Thomas Jacob Kazansky!

I have to go!”

“Worth a shot,” he laughed, letting her go.

She gathered her lunch into her bag, along with her paperwork, and shouldered the tote, before turning back to face Tom, who was leaning against the counter, long, sweatpants-clad legs crossed at the ankles, mirroring his arms, a knowing smirk on his lips. “Not going to kiss me goodbye?”

With a sigh, she asked, “If I kiss you goodbye, will you keep your hands to yourself?”

He clicked his tongue, “You drive a hard bargain, lyubimaya moya, but I’ll try.”

“Don’t try, just do,” she replied, amending one of Mav’s favorite sayings, stepping closer to peck him on the lips.

True to his word, he didn’t move an inch, but the regret on his face made her have to resist the temptation to kiss him and say to hell with her shift today. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay.”

And here, a sudden idea struck her. “Hey, wait a minute, you said that you guys were going to the O Club, right?”

“Yes,” he replied, drawing out the syllable. “Why?”

“Because I was thinking that if I can, maybe I can meet you guys there, join you flyboys.”

Tom’s eyes lit up. “That’d be great!”

“You guys won’t mind?”

“I won’t mind,” he shook his head.

She good-naturedly rolled her eyes, “I know you won’t mind, what about the guys?”

“I’m sure the guys won’t mind, but they can take it up with me if they don’t like it.

Try to make it?”

“I will—hopefully, I’ll see you later.

And you’re sure you don’t need your other girl today?” she asked, double checking that he didn’t need his Chevelle, since her car was in the shop that week.

“No,” he shook his head, “Slider’s picking me up, you take her.

I love you, milaya.”

“I love you too.”

With that farewell, she dashed out the door, fleeing her own house like Lot, because she knew she’d never leave if she looked back at Tom.

Chaos.

That was what her shift at NMCSD was like.

Some unlucky or hapless person somewhere had probably said “It sure is quiet around here,” or some other variation of that phrase, and brought the wrath of the medical gods down upon them.

She’d had no less than ten emergencies to deal with, and at the end of her shift, she felt—no—knew—she deserved a drink.

A quick glance at her watch showed that it was just before 1800–from her experience, the carriers usually docked at 1500 or 1600, which meant they should all be at the O Club already.

Not wanting to give the charge nurse an opportunity to call her for something else, she practically ripped off her uniform, changing into the nicer spare clothes she kept in her locker just in case she had somewhere to be that wasn’t the grocery or straight home.

It was a worn, but well-fitting pair of jeans, sensible shoes, a tank top, and finally, a white buttondown with vertical blue stripes which she pilfered from Tom’s closet, that she never saw him wear.

After throwing on the shirt, leaving it unbuttoned, and tucking in her tank, she hastily walked (okay, ran) out of NMCSD, and headed to her parking spot.

God had mercy on her, as the traffic was light all the way to the O Club, the Almighty surely knowing that she’d reached her limits of bullshittery, that all she wanted after this day was a stiff drink, and her husband’s company, despite the fact that there would be others around, friends as they were to her.

It was a Saturday night, and the parking lot was full, but she managed to find a spot on the far end of the lot, a slight sheen of sweat breaking on her skin despite the AC, as she maneuvered in, not wanting to scratch her husband’s beloved car.

The flaring, insistent ache in her feet was testament to the long walk to the entrance, exposing just how many people had to be here, and true enough, once she pushed the doors open, the bar was hopping.

She moved through the crowded bar, searching for Merlin, Slider, or Tom—there’d be little hope of finding Wood or Wolf, and no hope of finding Mav, in this press of people.

She was heading through the crowd towards the bar when she smacked straight into someone.

An apology was on her lips, when the person turned, and she heard, “Hey, Mrs. Ice, how are you!”

And she looked up, up, up into the smiling face of Sam “Merlin” Wells.

“Hey, Merls, how are you, how was deployment?” she said, hugging the ludicrously tall RIO.

“Ehh, hot, as usual, but otherwise, uneventful; just running our CAPs, and buzzing the tower every now and then.”

She guffawed, “That’s Mav for you—I don’t know who’s crazier; Mav, or you, for willingly sitting in the same jet as him.”

Merlin leaned down, “Tell you a secret?”

“Sure.”

“Probably me, because I actually enjoy it,” he murmured.

She chuckled, “Oh, Samuel, never change.”

“Hey, what am I doing, let me get you to the guys’ table!

Come on!!”

He put his hand on her shoulder to make sure she didn’t get lost in the crowd, and led her to a table in the back. “Guys, look who I found!”

“Well, hey, if it isn’t my favorite Ice Queen!” Mav cried, leaping to his feet and pulling her into a hug.

“Hey, Mav, how are you?” she beamed, glad to see her husband’s best friend and wingman.

“Better, after seeing your pretty face,” the black-haired pilot grinned a grin which would probably make quite a few people here swoon, if its full force were turned on them.

She smacked his shoulder, though she was unable to stop her smile, “Stop it, you incorrigible flirt, you’re not my type, and even if you were, I’m very happily taken.”

“Ah, you wound me, my fair Ice Queen,” Mav dramatically clutched his chest.

“You’ll live,” she teasingly rolled her eyes.

“Mind getting your hands off my wife, so I can say hello to her, Mav?”

A glance behind Mav showed Tom standing there, a sight in his summer whites, an arch expression on his face, but those who knew him would be able to see the glowing humor in his eyes—but over all, the joy and love.

Mav moved aside, gesturing grandly at her. “All yours.”

“You bet your ass, Mitchell,” Tom nodded.

“Excuse me, I have a very nice ass, I have that on good authority,” the other pilot affrontedly stated as he walked backwards to his seat.

The voice of Charles “Chipper” Piper called, “Ugh, come on, Mav, no one wants to hear about your pasty ass.”

“You’re one to talk, Chip,” Marcus “Sundown” Williams chuckled.

Tom shook his head and stepped closer, making everything else fade into the background, his beautiful smile on his face. “You came.”

“I needed to,” she sighed, “I need a drink.

And the whole you being here is a nice bonus.”

He blushed slightly, ducking his head. “Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Well, come on, let’s get you that drink,” he replied, leading her to the table, around which sat Mav, Merlin, Slider, Wolf, Chipper, and Sundown.

“Hey guys,” she waved, taking the seat beside Tom.

They all greeted her as Tom called over one of the waitresses, ordering his usual vodka on the rocks along with her usual Old Fashioned.

When it arrived, she shocked them all by drinking more than half of it in one sitting, heavily setting the glass down on the table.

“That kind of day, huh, sweetheart?” Tom asked, his voice full of sympathy, warmth, and the slightest hint of laughter.

She turned a baleful look on him. “What do you think?”

He blinked, obviously weighing his words, the rest of the flyboys holding their breath. “I think maybe I should get you another one when you’re done with that.”

“God, I love you, Tom Kazansky,” she breathed.

The table collectively exhaled, as Tom grinned. “Aren’t I lucky?”

The night wore on, dinner eventually being ordered from the bar’s kitchen for everyone, and Merlin was the first to leave, saying that his wife was coming home late that night from taking care of a medical emergency with her mother, who lived on the other side of the States, and he wanted to be there to greet her.

The flyboys tossed peanuts teasingly at Merlin, Chipper and Mav whooping, Merlin flipping them the bird with both hands as he laughed, and said goodnight.

The remaining group continued on, and the vodkas Tom had drunk had loosened him up—he wasn’t drunk by any means, but his laughter was a bit louder, his eyes a bit brighter.

He was telling a story about one of the instructors from the TOPGUN session he’d been asked to help out with, since he wasn’t deployed this rotation.

It was a story she’d already heard, and so she allowed his words to fade slightly, just watching him as he spoke, fiddling with the straw of the second Old Fashioned Tom had ordered for her.

She smiled as he gestured animatedly, making the light glint off the gold ring on his left hand, which matched the one on hers.

Seeing it did funny things to her stomach, seeing the tangible proof that that man was hers.

Add to that the fact that Tom was in his summer whites… it was a cocktail more intoxicating than anything the bar behind her could ever offer.

She exhaled evenly, taking a sip of the water she’d switched to after her second Old Fashioned, admiring the figure he cut, an exemplar of US Naval excellence.

If you asked her later, she wouldn’t be able to tell you why she did it.

But the devilish thought of wanting to see if she could tilt him off-kilter entered her mind regardless, and she hid a smile behind the rim of her water glass.

She nonchalantly shifted her chair closer to Tom and innocently placed a hand above his knee, making him glance at her, and offer her a fleeting smile, while continuing the story.

Ever so carefully, she inched her way towards the inseam of his trousers, rubbing small circles as she went, which got her a minuscule narrowing of his eyes and a barely-there glance as he spoke.

She smiled back, stilling her hand, and he continued.

Once he had relaxed into his chair again, she began moving again, shifting her hand higher and higher, letting her fingernails catch repeatedly on the seam.

He cleared his throat and soldiered on, shifting in his seat, but the slightest tone of strain was beginning to creep into his voice now, and she mustered all the stoicism she’d learned from her husband to keep her face straight.

As her hand moved further up his inseam, she was treated to the sight of his jaw tensing, the sheen of sweat gathering at his temples, the movement of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed thickly, the sound of the strain in his voice, and the hitch in his breath.

She knew that if she continued this, she was playing a very dangerous game, but she couldn’t bring herself to care at that moment.

So she inched further up, letting her fingernails dig into the seam, flicking it almost audibly, which elicited a cough from her husband.

Slider whacked Tom on the back, saying, “You okay, Ice?”

“Yeah,” he rasped, “just—just swallowed the wrong way.”

At this point, she was mere inches away from being so obscenely high on his thigh that the other flyboys would probably see, but just to see what Tom’s reaction would be, she made as though she were going to go there.

Smoothly, he placed his hand atop hers, somehow managing to conceal the fact that he had plucked her hand from basically his lap, bringing it up to his lips as he finished the story, his eyes stormy as he cut his gaze to her.

Maybe, she realized, as she looked into his tempestuous eyes, maybe she had made a very, very big mistake.

After another hour, they began to wrap up, hugging and slapping each other on the back, and for the first time since she’d met Tom Kazansky, she was not looking forward to being alone with him.

When the final farewells had been spoken, Tom wrapped an arm around her shoulder, walking them towards the distinct shape of his Chevelle, visible now that they were some of the last people at the bar.

“I can drive us, if you want,” she offered, testing the waters.

“No, I’ll be the one.

Keys.”

His tone was unreadable, and she fished the keys out of her pocket, handing them to him.

He led her to the passenger’s side, but just before she reached for the handle to open the shotgun door, she found herself pressed against the back passenger door, looking up into her husband’s face.

She refused to buckle at his impassive stare, looking evenly into his eyes; depthless blue, the color of the sea at twilight, in the dim illumination afforded by the streetlamps.

His hand shifted, and her breath hitched, but he only moved his hand past her, the familiar click of the Chevelle’s door release echoing in the thick San Diego night air.

Tom pulled the door further open, inclining his head and stepping back.

She swallowed, but moved to sit in the passenger’s seat, the sound of the shutting door feeling like some sort of passage of sentence.

Moments later, he opened the driver’s side door, sliding in and shutting it, however, he didn’t start the engine.

She held her breath, waiting to see what he would do next, but he only started the car, the purr of the Chevelle doing nothing to ease her tension, serving only to ratchet it up, the familiar streets leading home passing by.

The silence in the car was almost a living entity, made worse by the fact that Tom kept his eyes firmly fixed on the road before them, and she would be lying if she said that her heart wasn’t racing.

She was beginning to see the reasoning behind her husband’s callsign, between his nonchalant attitude and his unerring patience to wait her out, wait for her to slip.

Well.

She wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.

…

She hoped so, at any rate.

She’d always been weak for him, honestly, and she suspected she always would be.

Much too soon, they pulled into their driveway, and Tom cut the engine, leaving her in silence, literally and figuratively, as he stepped out without a word.

She briefly debated whether or not to stay in the car, but knew deep down that that was not an option, so she got out of the Chevelle, also making her way inside.

After locking up the doors and checking the rest of the house, she exhaled and looked warily up at the stairs. “‘Screw your courage to the sticking place,’ woman,” she murmured, striding determinedly up the stairs.

The lights were on in the bedroom, and she saw Tom at the dresser, keeping his submariner in its box, his face somehow still impassive.

She moved to the bed, picking up the pile of night clothes she’d laid out that morning, muttering, “I’m going to the bathroom,” and darted towards the en suite.

However, before she could make it there, a hand wrapped around her upper arm, and once again, she got the breath knocked out of her, finding her body pressed against the wall behind her by the solid mass of her husband before her, his hands on either side of her head.

“What was that about tonight, hmm, milaya?” he spoke lowly, making a shiver run down her spine.

“What was what?” she replied, affecting a light tone.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he replied, implacable.

“Oh, that,” she shrugged, caving slightly.

“Yes, that.

And just what were you thinking?”

“Ehhh—nothing much, really.” Well, she mentally admitted, that much was true.

“Uh-huh.

See, I think you were trying to get me to lose it,” he declared.

She somehow managed to muster up an innocent expression. “Uh, nope, not at all.”

“Sure.

So your hand at my inseam was just complete coincidence, was it?”

“Has to be.”

He stared her down just like he had in the O Club parking lot, attempting to keep his expression stoic, but this close, she could see his eyes—how there was only a thin ring of midnight gray, his pupils blown wide from the desire he was trying to keep down.

She inhaled sharply, her lips parting, and his gaze immediately locked onto the sight.

When he spoke next, his voice was low and trembling. “You don’t know what you do to me.”

“I think I have some kind of idea,” she breathlessly murmured.

“Fuck—” he whispered brokenly before kissing her like he was at 38,000 feet and she was the oxygen he needed to breathe.

Caught in his riptide, she was helpless but to hold onto him.

Air surged back into her lungs as his kisses moved down to her neck, only to be stolen from them moments later, a cry halfway between pain and pleasure carried on her breath, when his ardor seared into the delicate skin there.

“That hand of yours—and you wearing my shirt—you drive me crazy,” he spoke into the juncture of her neck and shoulder.

“I think you like it, though,” she whimpered, hitching her legs around his unfairly narrow waist, as he adjusted his arms to hold her up.

“Damn it, I fucking do,” he groaned, moving them towards the bed.

They had just collapsed onto the comforter, kissing like teenagers, when he broke away to breathe, “You’re still going to pay for what you did, though, you’re not getting out of that.”

“Oh, am I, because it seems to me like your mouth is writing checks your body can’t cash… Commander,” she cocked her eyebrow.

His jaw dropped slightly, followed by a shaky inhalation. “…I shouldn’t have told you about my rank thing.”

Her smirk was halfway to a grin by now. “What are you going to do about it?”

He tilted his head. “You’re asking for it, at this point.”

“Well, then, do what you’re going to do, flyboy; that’s an order.”

A wicked smirk quirked the corner of his lips, full of promise. “Yes, Ma’am.”

NMCSD: Naval Medical Center San Diego

The USS Carl Vinson is a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier commissioned in 1982, and she is still on active duty.

I stole @valmare’s headcanon that Tom drives a Chevelle, because if it’s good enough for Mir, it’s good enough for me!

I’m so sorry Mir!

According to a production photo, Tom’s full name is Thomas Jacob Kazansky, but since I headcanon him as Russian, his patronymic is missing.

So thusly, you have Thomas Jacob Vasilyevich Kazansky.

When Mrs. Kazansky refers to Tom as Thomas Vasilyevich, that is considered a casual, informal, yet somehow in its own way, formal, method of referring to someone.

There’s cultural rules about that.

Tom calls Mrs. Kazansky “Mrs. Kazanskaya”, which follows the Russian and Slavic convention of gendered surnames.

CAPs: Combat Air Patrols

Summer whites are the white version of the khaki uniforms, and you can see them in The O Club bar scene in Top Gun ‘86.

“Screw your courage to the sticking place” is a quote from Shakespeare’s “Macbeth”.

Did I basically steal a line from Top Gun, and completely change the context of it?

Yes.

Yes, I did.

Mrs. Kazansky calls Tom simply “Commander” instead of Lieutenant Commander, because of the convention regarding “double-barreled” ranks.

Russian Glossary

Disclaimer: endearments and translations taken from Google—please don’t hesitate to correct me if I’m wrong, which, odds are, I am.

Milaya: dear, darling (there are other translations of this word, however)

Lyubimaya moya: my darling/my one and only sweetheart

Taglist

@valmare

If you’d like to join my taglist, just send me an ask!

#not me 👀 at men literally old enough to be my father #officially in my val kilmer era #top gun #top gun fanfiction #top gun fanfic #top gun fic #tom iceman kazansky x reader #tom kazansky x reader #tom iceman kazansky #tom kazansky #val kilmer

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nitewrighter · 7 months

Note

Can't wait to see your Mauga fanteractions!

Ahhh it's been a while since I've written dialogue for him! He really is a delight, though! And now he gets to join the whole roster!

---

Mauga: Hey, so I got a question.

Ramattra: *weary sigh* What is it?

Mauga: Why don't you stay as the big guy the whole time?

Ramattra: The capabilities of the nemesis form are not applicable to every combat situation.

Mauga: And you like the stick?

Ramattra: It's called the void accelerator, it's not a stick.

Mauga: See, I'm looking at it, and I'm seeing a stick. A stick with a ball, if I'm being generous.

Ramattra: *audible seething*

---

[During setup on attack in Circuit Royale]

Mauga: Oh, great, I love it when they have these things. Uh, yeah, could I get a hot towel service to our room, a wake-up call for 7:30 AM tomorrow, oh, and also, when's last call for the hotel bar?

Echo: Um--I'm--I'm not a concierge AI.

Mauga: Oh, sorry. *speaking more loudly* COULD I GET A LIVE SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE?

---

Baptiste: Mauga! You--um... you... look well.

Mauga: Thanks! I've been able to take some time, get my mind off of stuff, focus on me. I've thought a lot about forgiveness.

Baptiste: *skeptical* ...Forgiveness.

Mauga: Yeah, just the concept that forgiveness is actually really more about you than who you're forgiving, you know? Like just the willingness to let things go and let yourself move on so you can grow. I really like that.

Baptiste: *hesitant* I... like that too.

Mauga: *satisfied sigh and tongue click* Yeeup.

Baptiste: *still hesitant* Mm-hm.

*pause*

Mauga: I'm still definitely killing you after this mission, though. Just letting you know.

Baptiste: And there it is.

---

Mauga: Well, well, if it isn't the new model. I'm Mauga. We, uh, have a mutual friend.

LifeWeaver: So I've heard. Niran. Pleasure. I've heard a lot about you.

Mauga: Good things?

LifeWeaver: ...interesting things.

---

[During setup on Esperança]

Reaper: Why do you treat every mission like a vacation?

Mauga: Well, what's the point of going to all of these places if you aren't going to have a little fun?

Reaper: The mission. The mission is the point.

Mauga: Aw, come on, boss, don't be like that. Hey, you know what would cheer you up? I know the cutest little petisco bar here that would--

Reaper: FOOD TURNS TO ASH IN MY MOUTH.

Mauga: ...can you still drink?

---

[If Lifeweaver, Cassidy, and Mauga are all on the same team in set-up]

Baptiste: Hoo boy...

----

Mauga: *gets a cage fight multikill* I'm not in here with you, YOU'RE IN HERE WITH ME!

#fanteractions #overwatch #mauga #jean baptiste augustin #gabriel reyes #ramattra #echo overwatch

162 notes · View notes

blazingstar400 · 3 months

Text

Incorrect Scarlet and Violet Quotes Part 2

Hey everyone!! Guess what time it is? Yeah, you guessed it. More incorrect quotes!!!

Rika: This cookie is… spicy? It’s supposed to be sweet. It’s not even fully baked. If I had to rate this I would give it two—

Poppy: I baked it myself! :)

Rika: —out of two stars, best cookie I’ve ever had!

Carmine: *is unconscious*

Juliana, worried: Carmine’s not breathing! What do we do?!?

Drayton: I’ll give her mouth to mouth!

Carmine: *wakes up* Don’t you dare!!

Juliana: Hey bestie—

Kieran: Die.

Juliana: What did I do to you—

*sometime during the events of the Teal Mask*

Kieran: You know, I never had a friend before…

Juliana: I can be your friend! :D

Kieran:

Kieran: I never had a girlfriend either—

Penny: *is sick*

Nemona: *rushes in and dumps a stack of papers in front of her*

Penny: …Homework?

Nemona: It’s my way of saying ‘get well soon’.

Penny, groaning: You know, chocolate says that even better.

Nemona: I did all your assignments for you! All you have to do is sign your name.

Penny: …Chocolate means nothing to me.

Kieran: Why are you smiling?

Drayton: I’m reading something.

Kieran: Oh, is it good?

Drayton: It’s perfect! This boy is so in love!

Kieran: What is the name of the book?

Drayton, smirking: Your diary!

Kieran, now furiously blushing: W-wait, what?! Drayton, NO! Give it back—

Penny: So, what is Black to you?

Juliana: The reason I wake up every morning.

Penny: Aw, that’s adorable.

Black earlier that morning, barging into Juliana’s room, and literally using the move tackle on her: COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, *starts biting her ear and pulling her hair* WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!!!!

Crispin: Please, don’t do this. You’ll break my heart.

Drayton: I’m gonna do it!

Crispin: I’ll never forgive you.

Drayton: …

Crispin: …

Drayton: …

Drayton: *throws the last Oreo into his mouth*

Crispin: You’re dead to me.

Florian, giving advice to a new trainer: First rule of battle, don’t ever let them know where you are.

Nemona, shooting out of frame: WHOOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME OF ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME AND FACE ME! WHOOOOOO!!!

Florian:

Florian: ‘Course, there are other schools of thought…

Kieran, borrowing a Rotom phone: Hello?

Drayton, also on the phone: Hey, what’s up?

Kieran: This is Kieran. I need your help, can you come over?

Drayton: Uh I can’t, I’m buying clothes.

Kieran: Alright, well hurry up and come over here.

Drayton: I can’t find them.

Kieran: What do you mean you can’t find them?

Drayton: I can’t find them, there’s only ice cream.

Kieran: …What do you mean there’s only ice cream?

Drayton: It means there’s only ice cream!

Kieran: WELL THEN GET OUT OF THE ICE CREAM ISLE!

Drayton: ALRIGHT YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHOUT AT ME! JEEZ!

*Drayton walks to the next isle* Drayton: There’s more ice cream!

Kieran: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S MORE ICE CREAM?!

Drayton: THERE’S JUST MORE ICE CREAM!

Kieran: GO INTO THE NEXT ISLE!

Drayton: THERE’S STILL ICE CREAM!

Kieran: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!

Drayton: I’M AT ICE CREAM!

Kieran: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR ‘AT ICE CREAM’?!?!

Drayton: I MEAN I’M AT ICE CREAM!

Kieran: WHAT SHOP ARE YOU IN?!?!

Drayton: I’M AT THE ICE CREAM SHOP!!

Kieran: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE ICE CREAM SHOP, YOU IDIOT?!?!

Drayton: I DON’T KNOW!!

Kieran: ARUGH!!!

*Florian sneezes*

Carmine: …

Florian, annoyed: Really? Not even a bless you?

Carmine: Your friends with me. Your clearly blessed.

Kieran: Given the circumstances, I will let you hug me for four to five seconds.

Juliana, excitedly: Forty five seconds?!

Kieran: What? No! I said four TO five seconds! ///

Juliana, already hugging Kieran: Too late!!!

Florian: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Arven: For the dogs.

Florian: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Arven: They don’t know how.

Drayton: Why should I make my bed, when I’m just gonna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?

Carmine, annoyed: Why should we feed you if your just gonna die anyways?

Drayton:

Drayton: I’ll go make my bed—

I hoped you guys liked these!! I still have a ton of quotes in my document so there might be a part 3. Also, so you’re aware Black is the eevee Penny traded Juliana in the league club. I like to think he’s pretty sassy, defiant, and a huge troublemaker. Juliana really has a difficult time with him lol.

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stone-stars · 6 months

Text

Transcript:

[Unknown Tome plays in the background.] Bev Sr.: [yelling] I'll tell ya what to do, Bev. Ya turn around, and ya face Thiala. The one who took our home from us. Pick a side, Beverly. Beverly: [softly] ... Yes sir. Murph: Um, he holds his hand out to you. Caldwell: I start walking. Uh, and as I'm walking I-- I try to reach out to the spores. I try to reach out to the amulet. I just try to reach out to anything that isn't this. That isn't this duty. That I've always felt deep down. Murph: Who, what would you like to reach out to? Who or what would you like to reach out to. Caldwell: I would like to... use the lesson I've learned from Pelor [Murph: m-hm] to basically use Pelor as my satellite to bounce into my fungal network of friends. Murph: Great. Go ahead and make a religion check and we'll see if you'll be able to um-- between this religion check and Moonshine's newly formed fungal powers, we'll let you roll with advantage. Caldwell: [dice clicking in his hand] hoo boy. [dice roll] seventeen? Murph: Moonshine, you feel Beverly in this moment. [Moonshine gasps] Just-- it's faint, it's far away. I'll say with a seventeen, you can't get to Hardwon or Balnor, but you have a faint-- you have a faint connection to Moonshine. Beverly: [voice breaking] I don't want to go. I don't wanna go, but I have to. It's my duty. I have to do this! Moonshine: Okay, youngin, I want you to know, I will love you whatever you choose to do. But, here's my two cents. [Unknown Tome fades out.] Moonshine: A child has a duty to his father. But a hero has a duty to the world. [The Bahumia Theme fades in.] Moonshine: Now, I've got my opinion of which you are, but it's time for you to decide. Beverly: [tearful] Where would I be without the wisdom of the crick. [Moonshine gasps. They both laugh softly.] Moonshine: [also tearful] Where would I be without Pelor's light? Beverly: Deeper in hell than we already are, that's for sure. Moonshine: That's for sure. Caldwell: I nod to myself. I stop walking. Beverly: Dad... all I want is for you to be proud of me, and to be happy. That's why, throughout this whole journey, all I've done is just-- basically collect people that I thought were as cool as you. But... I can't go any further. If I join you, then my friends' fate is uncertain. And I have to stand with them because... they're the hammer that forges the light of Pelor into the sword that I wield. And without them I'm lost. Even more lost than you. I'm sorry. Bev Sr.: I'm sorry too, Bev. Murph: You see he draws his sword-- same sword he used that day.

beverly and moonshine's relationship i will never be normal about you <3

#naddpod #moment of all time i needed to have it on my blog #this is so self indulgent but god i love them. i love them so much.#naddclips

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percythalianico · 7 months

Text

Nico and Percy ~ Part 1

Hey, you know what we were robbed of?

You know what Nico told, like, all HoO? No one cares about me, I'll left Camp Halfblood and other stuffs?

Now, this is what should have happened after TTC.

(Chiron is the one that told Nico about Bianca's fate, because Percy was another kid and it shouldn't be on him doing something like that!)

Nico: I don't have anyone, now.

Percy: You have me.

Nico: Thanks, but...

Percy: No, you misunderstood me. You have me means: I have packed your stuffs, mom is on her way here and you are going to sleep with me in my bedroom.

Nico: Are you kidnapping me?

Percy: Are you complaining?

Nico: .... No.

Percy: Perfect. Mom is here, let's go.

Nico: What if I said no?

Percy: You don't want to know, believe me.

++++

Nico: I have problem with a boy.

Percy: Like... his body doesn't fit in the bag problem, or more, I like him problem?

Nico: The second one.

Percy: Too bad, I could have helped with the first one.

Nico: What I'm going to do, then?

Percy: Well, my way is to be naive and don't understand if someone likes me.

Nico: And?

Percy: I don't know. I can't recognize if others have crushes on me or not. I have anxiety, but that is for being a demigod. Mostly.

Nico: Okay. I'm going to ask your mom.

Percy: Yeah, that's a good idea.

+++

Nico: Hey, I did something terrible.

Percy: Don't worry, they won't find out anything.

Nico: What did you think I have done? And why do you have a shovel in your hand?

Percy: ...

Nico: ...

Percy: It doesn't matter. They won't discover you.

++++

At the phone: We have your cousin

Nico: Which cousin?

Voice: Uh, what?

Nico: I said which cousin? Gods have too many children, really! They don't know the meaning of 'protection'.

Voice: Uh, dark hairs, green eyes, likes horses..?

Nico: Ah, that's Percy. And, you don't have him, he has you. Good luck.

++++

Nico: You are late.

Percy: I was kidnapped.

Nico: How much?

Percy: They asked for giving me back?

Nico: No, how much time they bear your non-stop and nonsense talks.

Percy: Rude.

Nico: ...

Percy: You are very rude.

Nico: ...

Percy: An hour.

Nico: Ah, I see. I have to say, they bear more than I imagined.

Percy: Yes, I know. I was surprised myself.

++++

Kidnapper: Did you order a pizza?

Percy: Ah-ah

Kidnapper: So, you found a phone and, instead of calling the police on me, your kidnapped, you order a pizza?

Percy: Are you mad cause I used your credit card?

Kidnapper: You used my credit card?!?!?

Percy: Sorry. I was hungry. And being kidnapped won't stop me.

In the meantime

Annabeth: It is peaceful.

Nico: Percy got kidnapped again, so there isn't noise.

Grover: Percy was kidnapped?

Annabeth: Again?

Nico: It happens eight times a week. It's a little annoying.

#percy jackson #nico di angelo #percy and nico #nico and percy #the children of the big three #the big three children #percy jackson and the olympians #rick riordan

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twisted-wonderland-shenanigans · 2 years

Note

Monster au but mini Yuu accidentally picks up a cuss word and hilarity ensues

Hoo boy, this can either be like that “gasp!” meme or Yuu just so happens to be nearby when someone oh so casually bellows out a curse word after getting their tail stomped on. Either way, it’s bound to be chaos for sure! XD

Warning: Mini!Yuu drops the f-word and the first years hear boss music 😂

The first ones who heard mini!Yuu curse was—no surprise—the first years. As soon as they heard what clearly sounded like the word “dammit”, they immediately began to panic as they tried to figure out how the toddler picked up that word.

Cue flashbacks:

Ace got collared by Riddle again for breaking a rule, the lock getting caught on something and causing him to get stuck in an awkward position. He cursed.

Deuce turning too fast and slamming his haunch against a cabinet, knocking it over and spilling all the contents on the floor. He cursed.

Jack getting trapped in a hole Ruggie dug up for Leona and spilling his books everywhere. He cursed.

Epel trying to pluck out his eyebrows under Vil’s guidance before trying the wax. He cursed (loudly) and got scolded by the unicorn.

Sebek after a student ran into him and destroyed the gift he had bought for Malleus. Cursed up a royal storm!

With growing dread, each of the freshmen realized that Yuu had been present each time they’d said the word. Now it was a race against time to get Yuu to never say it again before returning them to the professors for the evening. How were they going to do that? Simple:

By recreating the situations that caused them to curse in the first place!

“…this isn’t going to work,” Jack said with a frown.

“You got any better ideas?” Ace asked.

“Why don’t we just explain to them that it’s a bad word and they shouldn’t say it?” Jack pressed.

Despite his best efforts, the others went ahead with the plan and he reluctantly followed suit.

Cater and Trey were confused when they witnessed Ace break several rules in a row, and the moment Riddle collared him he ran off. They later found him getting the collar stuck on something, his rabbit legs scrabbling at the ground as he tried to free himself while Yuu was sitting nearby. Growing frustrated, he opened his mouth to shout, “Daaa-!!...da-da-daaaa-da-da-daa~!” Somehow, he managed to roll into a sing-song voice, a strained smile on his face while Yuu watched him in confusion.

They were even more confused when Deuce seemingly knocked over another cabinet on purpose, saying loudly, “Daaaa…rn it, what a mess! I better clean it up!...gh! Wait! Yuu, no! Stay there, don’t move! There’s glass fragments on the ground!”

Trey and Cater looked at each other in confusion. What was going on with these two?

“…ah…Jack? What’re you doin’ down there?” Ruggie asked, peering into the large hole.

“…I…fell in,” he said, clearly looking embarrassed.

“You fell in…”

“Yes…”

“Inside the hole you dug.”

“…yes…”

"...o...kay..." Glancing up, Ruggie picked up Yuu and held them close as he said, "Hey, lil' bugaboo. You watching your big brother acting weird today?"

"Heehee...JackJack is so funny!" Yuu said, the toddler smiling happily.

"Well, let's get you a lil' snack then!"

"Yay~!"

Jack heaved a heavy sigh, uttering, "I told them this wasn't a good idea..."

"...Epel...what in the world are you doing?"

"...um...maintaining my beauty regiment?"

Vil and Rook glanced at each other with raised eyebrows before staring at Epel, who had a few strips of cloth sticking to his eyebrows. Then, Vil said, "And you're waxing your eyebrows...again...when we did it just the other day...why?"

With a cute smile, Epel said, "Because I...noticed a few hairs still there! So I wanted to make sure I got them all."

"Then why not use a pair of tweezers?"

"...efficiency?"

"And Yuu is here...why exactly?"

"...uh...teaching them good habits?"

Vil's gaze turned stern, Epel's ears lowering as he tried to maintain his now wavering smile while Yuu looked between the two. Their eyes then turned to focus on the cloth on Epel's forehead, and--remembering what Rook told them about being quick when it comes to hunting--their tiny hand reached up, grabbed the tape, and--

"YEEEEOW!!!!!" Epel shrieked. "DAAAAA--hat's okay! I needed that. Thank you, Yuu~!"

While Yuu giggled happily, Vil and Rook were sharing a confused look with one another.

"Okay, what's going on here?"

"Um...what are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to me, Ace. You five have been acting strange all day."

"I don't know what you're talking about, right guys?"

The first years were smiling nervously as their seniors stared them down, several with their arms crossed over their chests while others looked curious or quietly furious. It was Lilia who spoke as he said, "Oh come now, you truely didn't think we wouldn't notice unusual behavior from the very students in our dorms? After all, it's not every day that Sebek sings 'dashing through the snow' instead of bellowing when angry."

Sebek's face flushed as the other freshmen stared at him.

"Just spill it: what's got you guys freaking out so much?" Ruggie asked.

No one wanted to answer, each one mumbling under their breath and avoiding everyone's gaze. Then, Yuu toddled over to Ruggie and said, "Dannut!" while reaching up to him, the first years gasping in horror.

"I-It's not what it looks like!" Epel tried to say.

"It was Deuce's fault!" Ace shouted.

"My fault?! You said it in front of them too!"

"Don't go throwing blame around, Ace!"

"As if you're one to talk, Jack! You cursed too!"

"It was an accident!" Epel said frantically. "We've been trying all day to get them to not say that word--honest!"

"I'm ashamed! My pride has corrupted the small human's innocence! Forgive me!"

Among the ruckus of the first years, they were eventually silenced by a stern look from Vil and Lilia, heads bowed in shame. Then...Ruggie pulled out a doughnut from the box he'd been carrying and held it up to Yuu. "This whatcha want, bugaboo?" he asked.

"Dannut! Dannut!" Yuu said, a beaming grin on their face as they reached up with grabby hands.

"Well first, ya gotta say it right: it's donut," he told them, kneeling down so he was eye to eye with them. "Can you say 'donut'?"

"Doh...nut...donut!" Yuu said.

"Shishishishi~! There we go! You've earned it, kiddo," Ruggie said, snickering as Yuu took the pastry and toddled off with their prize. Standing up, he said, "Let me guess: you guys thought that Yuu was saying the word 'dammit' and thought to try and teach them a different word, right?"

"Uh...y-yeah," Deuce uttered. "How did you...know that it wasn't a curse word they'd said?"

"Oh please, it was easy to tell what they wanted. You just gotta pay attention to what the kid says and narrow it down. Compared to talking to animals, it's a piece of cake!"

On hearing this, the first years heaved a sigh of relief. "Don't think you're out of the woods yet," Trey said, his smile--though playful--holding a dangerous look as he stared at them. "You all are going to watch what you say around Yuu from now on...right?"

They gulped, none of them liking the looks their respective dorm and vice dorm leaders were giving them. "Y...yes sir..."

Meanwhile, Yuu was happily skipping around with their donut half-finished--before they tripped and fell, dropping their donut. Their little face contorted into a look of anger and frustration as--in the loudest voice they could--they shouted, "Fuck!"

Multiple pairs of eyes went wide, and in an instant all five of the freshmen could swear they heard boss music playing as the others stared at them intently. Then, pointing at each other, they shouted, "He said it!!!!"

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland monster au #twst monster au #ace trappola #deuce spade #jack howl #epel felmier #sebek zigvolt #twst mini!yuu #twisted wonderland mini!yuu #trey clover #cater diamond #ruggie bucchi

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cosmerelists · 1 year

Text

Ranking Cosmere Dads for Father’s Day

It’s Father’s Day! In honor (?) of this holiday, I’ve put Cosmere dads into a tier list. So who are the best & worst dads in the Cosmere?

[Spoilers for all Cosmere works, including Tress of the Emerald Sea!]

S-Tier: Best Dads in the Cosmere

Lem, Rock

Here we find dads who support and love their kids, no matter what. Lem, Tress’s dad in Emerald Sea, actively helps his daughter sneak off the island to rescue the man she loves, calling in all of the favors he’s built up by being an all around great dude. Rock, from Stormlight Archive, loves his family. Even though he believes very strongly in the jobs-by-birth-order tradition, when his daughter Cord decides to abandon pacifism and join the fight, he supports her. We love dads who help realize their daughters’ dreams, even when those dreams may differ from the dad’s own worldview!

A-Tier: Really Great Dads

Wax, Eventeo

Eventeo, Sarene’s dad in Elantris, and Wax of Wax and Wayne fame, are both excellent dads. Eventeo supports his daughter Sarene as best he can, although he doesn’t always realize how Sarene is really feeling. When Sarene arrives in Arelon to find her fiance “dead,” she’s determined to stay in order to maintain the treaty that her marriage has created--but Eventeo wants her to know that if she wants to come back home, there will always be a place for her. Wax seems to be a great dad to Tindwyl and (sigh) Maxillium, and he flies his kids around! That’s pretty fun.

B-Tier: Pretty Good Dads...Most of the Time

Kelsier, Elhokar, Stormfather

I’m counting Kelsier as Vin’s dad, for the record! Elhokar from Stormlight Archive has a baby son, and the Stormfather is the father of the Honorspren like Syl. These dads definitely try to do right by their kids. Kelsier is a good dad to Vin, overall. He may not support her love for Elend at first, but when push comes to shove, he does risk his life to save Elend just because Vin loves him. And he loves and supports Vin the whole way through. Elhokar doesn’t really have much to do with his little son, but he does try in the end to rescue him and dies in the process, so that has to count for something, right? The Stormfather has, uh, trouble supporting his kids because he’s so paranoid that the oaths will kill them, but when push comes to shove, he really has no choice to accept their oaths. That’s support! Albeit forced by his nature as a spren, etc. All of these dads do intend the best for their kids, but they’re maybe a tad problematic about how they go about it.

C-Tier: They, uh, Mean Well I guess?

Dalinar, Lirin, Taravangian

Dalinar is tricky because he may be a pretty solid dad now, but hoo boy was he not such a great dad in the beginning. He barely remembered that Renarin existed, and he spent most of his time wantonly slaughtering people. So on average, I put Dalinar at C. I may get in trouble for putting Lirin so low but LISTEN. He called Kaladin a MONSTER. He REFUSES to accept his son as he is! But, like, I know he loves Kaladin and means well, etc. Taravangian may be a villain, but as a father, he does make darn sure his kids & grandkids are outside of his schemes so that they won’t be implicated and he trades the whole world for their safety. Which would be sweeter if not for the “everyone else can die for all I care” angle.

D-Tier: They Basically Suck As Dads

Charlie’s dad, Iadon, Dedelin, Tevidian, Gavilar

Now we get to dads who are lowkey abusive. Charlie’s dad from Tress of the Emerald Sea tried to force his son into an unwanted marriage, and when that didn’t work and Charlie ended up kidnapped, he just sort of shrugged and replaced Charlie with someone else. Wow. Iadon, Raoden’s father from Elantris, was paranoid and grumpy and his son was actively working to undermine him. Iadon in turn barely batted an eye when he had to throw his son into Elantris. Dedelin, Siri’s and Vivenna’s dad from Warbreaker, so favored his daughter Vivenna that he sent his unprepared and innocent daughter Siri to what he thought was her death. And finally, Tevidian (Vin’s biological father from Mistborn) was Lord Prelan. He goes into D-tier almost by default. We don’t know much yet about Gavilar’s relationship to his children, but he did try to make Jasnah marry AMARAM, and he seemed to feel scorn for Elhokar. That’s not great material for a father’s day card.

F-Tier: Actively Harmful To Their Children

Edwarn, Lin Davar, Straff

And finally, the dads who are ACTIVELY and SUPREMELY abusive! Edwarn is Wax’s uncle apparently (I thought he was Wax’s dad whoops), but I think he fulfilled the dad role. Anyway, he tried to have Wax KILLED. Lin Davar was an abusive nightmare to all of his kids (and I’m including Shallan) until Shallan had to kill him to save his brother.

And Straff. Straff (Elend’s dad from Mistborn) is the worst dad in the Cosmere. Bad to his son Elend. Bad to everyone his son loves. Bad overall. I can’t even. I’m so glad he got cut in half with a giant sword.

H-Happy Father’s Day, everyone!

#cosmerelists #did I forget anyone? let me know in tags!#cosmere #Lem #Rock #Iadon #Eventeo #Kelsier #Elhokar #Stormfather #Lirin #Taravangian #Dalinar #Gavilar #Tevidian Tekiel #Dedelin #Edwarn #Lin Davar #Straff

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annymation · 4 months

Text

"Knowing What We Know Now"

In My “Wish” Rewrite

Heya fellas, the chapter this song appears in is almoooost done, just giving the finishing touches. But funny thing is, I actually just reworded the Queen’s section of the song to fit Aster, everything else is pretty much the same, except every “He, Him, His” referring to Magnifico is now “They, Them” referring to him and Amaya.

Oh, and also Simon is here now, because how dare you Disney? You get Evan Peters to voice our sleepy boy and then deliberately makes the only teen that doesn’t sing? Shame on you.

Also Dario in my rewrite is mute, that’s why he doesn’t sing at all here… Huh, ironic.

What We Know Now

Lines in Purple- Asha

Lines in Red- Dahlia

Lines in Yellow- Safi

Lines in Blue- Hal

Lines in Orange- Gabo

Lines in Green- Simon

Lines in Pink- Bazeema

Lines in Bold Yellow- Aster

Lines in Bold White- Everyone

Dario is the one handling the instrumentals.

… We've been deceived That royal pair are not what they've claimed to be They're more vicious than I could have ever comprehended When I made a wish and Aster came down This is not what I expected or intended But now that it's happened I don't regret it

'Cause now I've seen Them show their true colors, in shades of green Saying that your wishes aren't safe because of me and That's a lie, lie, lie, lie. And now we know how we'll get the upper hand

… If it's not us then who and when? If we don't fight they know they'll win Not allowed Knowing what I know now The lengths they'll go there's no amount I won't sit back watch this play out That's my vow Knowing what I know now

… Get up, yah! No, I'm not the only one that's (yah) Fed up (yah)

… Wait 'til they hear our feet go dun, dun, dun, dun (yeah)

… I don't think they'll be prepared for what's coming

… A revolution hit the ground runnin'

… If there's one thing they can't keep down Uh-huh It's us and the strength we've found It's too loud (loud) Knowing what we know now (knowing what we know now)

… And who, who knows if we'll succeed?

But we- Won't stop and we won't retreat or turn round Round

Knowing what we know now Knowing what we know now

… Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo Hoo-ha-hoo-ha-hoo-ha Hoo-hoo-hoo … Can they tell what we're becomin'? (Hoo) Hear it in the way we're drummin' (hoo) I was sweet but now I'm something else (oho) Yah, yah, yah, yah! (Hoo-hoo) … Ain't it nice of us to drop in (hoo-ha) To take what's ours to take it back in? (hoo-ha) They think we're nothing (hoo) But we're something else! (Ha) Yah! (Hoo)

… I've seen too many bad things that I can't keep count (The sky) And land now shall unite To fight (fight) Knowing what I know now Knowing what I know now (hoo-ha-hoo)

… And they'll both see all of these stars (We are) Aligned by your own scars So profound (Ahh) Knowing what I know

… I know (hoo) … I know (ha) … We know now (hoo) … Knowing what we know now

Thank You For Reading!

#wish rewrite #disney wish #wish #wish 2023 #wish star #wish reimagined #wish disney #wish asha #wish movie #disney #kingdom of wishes #disney wish star #Spotify

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dandelionwhisp · 2 years

Text

Prized, Precious You

A Silver Bullet Mafia au

Silver Bullet au by @jackplushie

CW?: mentions of guns, mentions of blood and mutilation but nothing descriptive or graphic! a little swearing? (very little)

uh- hoo boy, this is a LONG ONE. theres a LOT of dialogue in this fic for a reason and i hope it isn’t hard to read bc of it! i wanted to get a certain context across and i think i accomplished in a way. this allowed me to lightly practice the speaking patterns of several characters in twst for future reference so i hope they were okay. (i am very open to character analysis’ and criticism!!) this went on far longer than i intended so i hope it doesn’t bore you! with that being said, please enjoy!!

————————————————————————

You gazed upwards, facing the man before you irritably.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll tell me what you know.” He threatened, pulling a gun upon the counter.

You paused your glass wiping and sighed. “Sir, I don’t think have the information you may be looking for and even if I did, it’s because I know what’s good for me that I wouldn’t spill a thing.” Your eyes glanced from his gun to the perpetrator. “I’ve been around long enough to know that they have far worse punishments than whatever you might have in store for me.”

“Oh you have no idea what I’m capable of.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” Wind blew softly against the door chimes, almost as a warning. “But I know what they’re capable of and it’s not pretty. You must be new around here cuz’ trust me, they aren’t people you should be messing with.”

“So you do know who I’m looking for.” A smile split his face as he rose the gun to your head. “All I need are their names and I’ll let you go. Give me a peek of the security cameras too and I’ll give you a reward~ Who knows, I could help your dingy bar go through a life-changing transformation!”

Despite the gun aimed towards your skull and the bubbling fear in your gut, you knew what your answer was. “I already told you.” Gripping the cloth and glass till your knuckles turned white, you stared the man down. “I don’t have the information you’re looking for. You’re asking the wrong person. All I do is run the bar and serve the drinks. Please, leave.”

“I see.” The soft click of a gun echoed. “I see you’ve made your choice.”

Eyes shutting, you prepared for the inevitable.

‘Oh well, better an instant end rather than a tortuous one.’

The door bell jingled.

Bang

You opened your eyes, not to an instant death, but rather to another’s screams of pain and the clatter of a gun atop your bar.

Oh crap. Blood. Everywhere. It coated your counter and spilled onto the floor as the man who had been threatening you a moment before held his wrist in anguish, his cries echoing into the night.

A bullet hole. Straight through the hand that had been holding the weapon to end your life. Your ears rung from the screams and gunshot as the stench of blood made your head swim.

The glass you had been holding shattered from the death grip you had it in and it cut your hand, drawing blood. “Ah-” You stumbled back, but instead of meeting the hard wooden floor, warm gloved hands caught your fragile figure gently.

“Ma pavure chéri(e)!.. We’re so sorry for not arriving sooner.. I promise everything will be okay now. The ugly man won’t hurt you anymore mon petit trickster.”

You gazed around your surroundings hazily as the familiar mesh of languages spoke kindly to you.

“Jade! You need to be more careful! Look at what you did- they’ve hurt themselves because of your terrible aim-“

“Now now Rosehearts, that was no mere blunder I assure you. After all, I’m sure you can agree that none of us would have been quite satisfied with giving him such a quick passing.”

“I didn’t think I’d ever be agreeing with that slimy eel but he’s right. No one leaves unscathed when they mess with our herbivore.” A gruff voice interjected.

“And since he wanted to find out who we were so badly why don’t we give him exactly what he wants Shishishishi~”

“Fufu~ What an excellent idea~ I’m sure our lovely bloody friend here would agree? What do you think, Malleus?”

“While I find that prospect wonderful, Lilia, I do wonder if we will be able to hold back enough to leave some of him intact for everyone to share.”

“I don’t really care...As long as I can send in a camera to watch it happen, it doesn’t matter to me...” Someone mumbled just barely above a whisper. “Just make sure you guys.. take your time. Or the reward won’t be a worth an end game prize..”

Voices bounced off of your bar walls as your hand ached and head spun. Since when did so many people come in? Ugh that blood is gonna be a pain to scrub out- And will that man please stop screaming—“Ah! Your hand is all cut-! Here let me help! Jamil- oh you’ve already got it! Thanks Jamil you’re the best!”

“Yeah yeah just give me the supplies.. I’ll get the glass out and wrap their hand..”

You groaned at the stinging sensation of the ointment and the fear induced headache that still won’t go away as a rich voice continued to whisper words in a french and english jumble to comfort you.

“Oi! Your screeching is so damn annoying! Shut the hell up unless you want your other hand to have an equal sized hole in it-“

“Hey you’re not gonna get your hands on him before I do! I’m gonna drill his head into-“

“Alright Ace, Deuce, gag him to make him be quiet. And don’t do anything else! You two have absolutely no self control whatsoever and if you disobey it’ll be off with your heads.”

“Wow~~ so many people here today! This is #amazing!! Wait wait I need a pic of that cute expression! I’ll post it and we can show everyone what happens if they try to touch our precious bartender!~”

With your hand properly wrapped, you buried your face into the fabric of the man who caught you in an attempt to stabilize yourself mentally and physically. “Shhh c’est bon, c’est bon~” The voice cooed.

“Alright now, as per contract rules we will all have a chance to demonstrate to this man the consequences of his actions.” A silver-haired man with an equally silver tongue spoke smoothly while narrowing his eyes at his suffering form. “However will Pomefiore please take the dear back home? They look near faint and need rest immediately.”

“Very well.” An impossibly soft and delicate hand brushed against your cheek, wiping away the tears you hadn’t realized had fallen from your eyes. “Oh the poor dear is shaking. Let’s take them home Rook. Epel is already waiting there now.”

“Of course Roi du Poison, after all, I do recall Monsieur Cherry Apple expressing his extreme protest at not being able to ‘teach him a lesson’~ Ah what beautiful passion he has!” The voice- no- Rook, you corrected yourself as you remembered his short cut hair and glowing green eyes, commented, gently taking you up into his arms.

Vil, as you recalled the nickname, scoffed. “I wouldn’t call it so much as passion rather than improper recklessness with the way he speaks and acts oftentimes.” The man, although you remember him as quite critical and stern, especially regarding the quality of your establishment (and you yourself)- reassuringly stroked your head while speaking to his right hand.

Honestly, you had originally assumed he didn’t like you due to his criticisms despite the fact he had come by more than once to chat.

“So as per the deal, Diasomnia will be taking him in first, correct?”

“Yes, and we will take him last. After all, I doubt you’d all have much left to play with after Floyd gets his hands on him. It took everything just to get him to stay behind at Octavinelle. He’s in a terrible mood.”

“I don’t know if him being in a bad mood is worse for the victim than being in a great one.”

“At least it’ll make sure he won’t be let off easily with how he chose to act on our neutral ground.” Someone growled.

A sweet liquid made its way into your mouth and you drank without protest as all the strength left you from prior stress.

“A... potion..?” You drawled as your body immediately began to feel heavy.

“Yes, a sleeping one to help you relax and there’s an extra component as well for later. Don’t worry darling, we’re here to take care of you, not harm you.” Vil hummed softly. “After all, you kept quiet despite being threatened and we must show our gratitude for all your service.”

Sparkling ruby eyes met your own sleepy ones. “Yeah! I’m sure you were really scared and I’m sorry we caused you all this trouble. I promise to send a bunch of gifts to make up for it!” A smile split the strangely bright man. You finally recognized him to be Kalim, someone with quite a lot of power in the mafia world but always joyful despite the circumstances of his lifestyle. “Thank you for everything!!”

“Hey Kalim, they’re tired, try not to yell.”

“Okay Jamil! Bye friend!” He called out.

The clacking of boots along your bar floor echoed and the hunter took you away from the threatening voices of your common patrons and muted wails of your perpetrator played behind you.

“Don’t worry, if you think it hurts now, wait until we take you to Savanaclaw. Shishishi~ That wound will feel like a paper cut in no time!”

“Mmm I agree. I may have gotten to take the first shot, but I am excited to try out a couple new concoctions I’ve developed. My brother and I await eagerly for your arrival.”

“Uh huh.. Even Ortho seemed to look forward to watching him suffer... I can’t say I don’t feel the same though.. This is gonna be even better than my shows. After all, the screams and blood are real this time.”

While you did feel pity, if it weren’t for the way he treated you, then maybe, maybe you’d a little more feel bad for him.

I warned you... I told you they weren’t people to be messed with.

Was your last thought before slipping into the warm embrace of sleep.

...

The next morning you found yourself having a difficult time recalling last night’s events with a small headache, recollections of hazy conversations and a bandaged hand.

Still, you made your way to work as always like the model miserable citizen you are, and hoped the bar wasn’t too much of a mess since you didn’t remember cleaning or closing up properly.

Sparkling. The bar was sparkling. From floor to chair to counter, it was spotless beyond recognition. You reeled back in shock as someone caught your falling figure.

‘Wow, talk about deja vu..’

“You seem to have a common reaction of falling backwards when surprised. Be more careful now.” A rumbling voice straighten you out as you turned to meet similar but not exact, shining green eyes and black hair.

“Oh... Tsunotar- ah, Malleus?” You mumbled in confusion as you accidentally called him by the nickname you gave after he refused to tell you his real one. It took a pale faced Ace, Deuce, and Epel plus a screaming Sebek to find out his highly feared position.

“Yes it’s me. How is your hand? Is it still in pain from last night?”

“Last night?... Um.. actually I don’t remember much from last night. My hand is a little sore though but not too bad. I can still serve you a drink if you’d like.”

“I see... That’s good then.” He nodded, seemingly knowing something you don’t. Naturally, you didn’t pry. “And I would love a beverage. Just-“

“-tea, am I right?” You interrupted with a smile. “You don’t tend to drink alcohol especially this early in the day.”

He chuckled. Not many people tended to interrupt him, especially if they knew who he was. “You know me well, child of man.”

“You’re still calling me that huh? Not that I mind but you’re human too aren’t you? A strange nickname if you ask me.”

He only kept grinning in mild amusement while holding the door for you to enter your pristine bar. A heavenly apple scent wafted greeted you as you walked in. You’ve learned at this point to not question kind gestures and sent a quiet thanks as you began making Malleus’ tea.

A few other recognizable faces sauntered in throughout the day, looking much more.. refreshed than usual, talking about how much fun they had with whoever made the grave mistake to offend them the previous night.

Wiping down a glass, you gazed upward lazily towards the playing news. Some poor man was found mutilated beyond recognition near the area. You shuddered internally, knowing full well the.. ‘attackers’ were most likely sitting and chatting casually right in front of you. Though... that coat he had been seen wearing looked familiar... but you decided you’d rather not dwell on that. Better to not recognize someone you knew for any reason when they ended up like that for crossing the wrong people.

It wouldn’t be the last time you’d wake up disoriented and forgetful of the night before.

Each time, the next morning your bar would be clean and a familiar face would be there to greet you.

Each time, a different scent would fill the air, perhaps.. covering another more, metallic one.

Each time, they would ask about your health and of last night- which you wouldn’t remember- as they hummed in response, expressing some sort of... approval or confirmation.

Each time, the news would report the horrifically disfigured bodies found just outside your area and it wouldn’t take very much to guess who was behind it, or why they would allow the evidence to be broadcasted.

Once. You asked once, what the individual had done to be used as a warning. You were met with silent, unnerving smiles and a consolation that they were bad people. You almost laughed. The worst people were very much the ones with grins plastered on their faces before you and a drink in their hand.

Sometimes you surprised yourself with the way you could carry yourself so nonchalantly amongst the arguably most dangerous people around.

But it’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid. Not of them and definitely not of anyone else. Because you are always protected. Always, watched. But you don’t need to know that. Just do what you’ve always done best.

Make the drink.

Dance around their questions.

Patch them up.

Keep your mouth shut.

Stay as you are, because it was curiosity that killed the cat and no amount of satisfaction will ever bring it back.

Since getting to know these people, you might forget a lot of things. But don’t ever forget this, dear prized and precious bartender.

Ignorance,

is bliss.

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woodelf68 · 7 months

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LOKI 2.4

I don't see why they can't keep Dox in Holding forever; they had no problem pruning Lokis into the Void for forever. >.>

Dammit, Sylvie, it would have taken OB and Victor five seconds to sign each other's copies of the TVA Guidebook; could you not let them have their brief moment of fanboying joy?

OB's explanation of the Loom is very helpful here; it reminds me of the Doctor on Doctor Who explaining sciencey things to his companions on screen so that the kiddies (and adults, lol) at home could understand what was going on. (Okay, so the TVA as a TARDIS, discuss. Look at all those long corridors its got for running in!) I loved OB's "...the backlog of branches that was created when someone...*looks accusingly at Sylvie* ...killed He Who Remains and released all those branches and ruined my life." (Aw, come on, OB, you're out of the basement now! You're making friends and meeting admirers of your work!)

Loki claiming that the little figure in the model was clearly not him so why did he have to be the one to 'hoof it' and lob the throughput multiplier into the Loom? Well, Loki, you have very long legs and can run fast, also tradition has been established that your character is the one who gets sent to do the hard jobs for others; just be glad you're not being asked to steal Surtur's flame and doom Asgard this time around. (Of course, your decision to abscond with the Tesseract has already caused the TVA to erase the Asgard of your timeline, people and realm both, so...uh, never mind, pretend I never said anything.)

MOBIUS AND HIS PIE AGAIN. I SWEAR TO GOD THAT THE TVA LACES THE PIE WITH DRUGS TO KEEP ITS WORKERS DOCILE AND HAPPY WITH HAVING NO LIFE OUTSIDE OF WORK AND POSSIBLY ACTS AS A CONTINUAL DOSAGE OF SOMETHING THAT KEEPS THEM FROM REGAINING THEIR MEMORIES? MOBIUS CAN'T GO TOO LONG WITHOUT ANOTHER SLICE OF PIE BECAUSE HE'S EXPERIENCING THE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS OF AN ADDICT. I was so happy to hear Sylvie call him out on his pie-seeking habits and his refusal to try to find out any information about the timeline he was pulled from. Like sure it might hurt to remember a family whom he'd lost, but I'd rather honour the memories of loved ones by remembering them than being too cowardly to do so.

I have to agree with the point I saw raised in another post of 'WHY do they have to fix the Loom? Surely all the multiple timelines managed to exist just fine on their own before it was created?' Also, hoo boy, did Loki's speech about how you can't free a people and then leave them to look after themselves remind anyone else of Asgard's justification of being the ruler of the Nine Realms? Keeping a military presence on those conquered worlds? AND NO, LOKI, YOU'RE NOT A GOD, YOUR DAD TOLD ME SO IN A BIT OF THE SACRED TIMELINE YOU DIDN'T GET TO EXPERIENCE. Although this time at the TVA is Loki's post-Thanos period when he was claiming the same thing in the Sacred Timeline, wanting to be a 'benevolent god'. So...that actually ties in.

Um -- do we all agree that Miss Minutes looked orgasmic watching everyone (except Brad) be crushed in the cube thingie?

(Was Loki pruning himself related back to the time slipping thing? I still don't really understand what the point of that was.)

OB: But if I reboot Miss Minutes, we'll lose the magic dampeners in the TVA!

Loki and Sylvie: THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF A PROBLEM!

Oh hell yeah, Bradley, prune that bitch! I HOPE YOU END UP IN THE VOID WITH A HUNGRY ALLIGATOR, RAVONNA.

Kudos to Timely for sensibly asking if it's safe before sticking his head inside some alien machinery and not just blindly following instructions.

LIGHT! BEAUTIFUL LIGHT IN THE TVA! I don't care what this means as long as I can properly see what's going on!

Oh. Oh shit. Spaghettification is what's going on, huh. *Salutes Victor Timely* May you get the afterlife you hoped for, sir, you died a noble death. Guys. Guys, stop staring into the blinding radioactive light; I'm sure that's not good for your eyes.

And...what a cliffhanger; it's like FINALLY all the pieces are falling into place and the story is getting to someplace exciting. That was a good episode; I hope it keeps up this pace next week and something good happens if the Loom is going pear-shaped. I gotta try to remember to watch this on Thursday for a change.

@delyth88 -- finally felt inspired to make a long reaction post! (And my stupid computer glitched about 2/3 of the way through and I had to rewatch what I'd already seen to remember what I had been commenting on! I blame the TVA.)

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mindswriters · 2 years

Text

stuck with me - eddie munson

summary: there's no way you're leaving eddie alone, not even when he's accused of murder and you're about to face monsters from another world.

pairing: eddie munson × female!reader (almost gn except for using the word girlfriend one single time)

warnings: established relationship but not public to everyone, you also didn't know about the upside down before (joined the gang when they were looking for eddie), half of it is basically a rewrite of s04e03 so yes, it has spoilers, probably typos and maybe grammar errors, suggestiveness towards the end but far from actual smut, curse words and I think that's it.

word count: 2.5k

a/n: another eddie fic because, well, i'm obsessed. wrote it last night while i should be studying for the test i'll have in a couple minutes, so please be kind and leave your note to supress my lack of intelligence and interest in physics! hope y'all like it!

“Delivery service!” opening the door, you and Dustin sing song with a smile, showing the amount of bags in your hands to a startled and breathy version of Eddie.

“Jesus H Christ, you scared the shit out of me, you pricks.” he says dropping his broken glass bottle and coming up to greet you.

“Hello for you too, my outlaw boyfriend!” you joke before giving a quick peck on his lips, hands too busy with bags to give him a proper hug.

“No funny in that but yes, hi, baby. What’s all this?” Eddie says peeking through the bags Robin and Steve had already dropped on the table.

“Junk food and beers.” Robin says in a breath, leaning against the door.

“That and a lot of unnecessary things that Y/n made us grab too.” Steve complains rolling his eyes to you, who was organizing your own things in a corner.

“Toilet paper is needed, Steve.” Max mumbles, taking a seat in an old cooler box that was around.

“Yes, it is. But mixtapes, D&D magazines, and super-secret polaroids are not.” now leaning against one of the walls, Steve keeps muttering.

“What? You brought my D&D magazines? And our super-secret polaroids?” Eddie stops his search for food around the bags to at once look at you.

“Yes, I did. God knows how much time you’re gonna be stuck here.” you smirk dropping your backpack carefully in the ground, going towards the boat to take a seat for you.

“Shit, when did you get them?” he asks excitedly, grabbing a Yoo-hoo bottle and a box of Honeycomb, before joining you in the boat.

“Probably when she made us wait a full round of 15 minutes outside her house, which wasn’t even in the same direction as the supermarket.” Dustin said arching his eyebrows in your direction, earning a roll of your eyes.

“Would you guys just stop complaining?” Max scoffs to the boys.

“Yeah, we have important stuff to talk about here.” Robin completes and you thank them with your eyes, because you knew that Eddie was about to ask why you made them stop by your house.

“Thanks, girls.” you murmur while forcing a smile to Steve and Dustin.

“Okay, hit me then, what you’ve got?” Eddie shrugs saying for them to continue.

“So, we got, uh, some good news and some bad news. How do you prefer it?” Dustin asks carefully.

“Bad news first, always.” Ed responds with his mouth full from eating desperately, making you frown to his gross attitude.

“Alright, bad news. We tapped into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro, and they’re definitely looking for you. Also, they’re, uh, pretty convinced that you killed Chrissy.” Dustin explains, Eddie’s eyes almost popping out of his head.

“Like, 100% kind of convinced.” Max completes twitching her eyebrows.

“Which makes 0% kind of sense.” you add your own opinion, even though it’s not necessary since Eddie knows that you guys believe him.

“And the good news?” Ed asks, wondering if you could really bring something good at this point.

“Your name hasn't gone public yet. But if we found out about you, it’s only a matter of time before others do too. And once that gets out, everyone and their shadow-minded mother is gonna be gunning for you.” Robin said all at once, being the rational thinker in the situation.

“Hunt the freak, right?” Eddie says with a crack in his voice, due to his anxious trembling lips.

“Exactly.” Robin agrees but offering a concerning smile.

“Shit.” the metal head whispers, making you bring your body closer to his, arms brushing as a small signal of comfort.

“So, before that happens, we need to find Vecna, kill him, and prove your innocence.” Dustin concludes the plan, which sounded easy if told in the voice tone he used.

“That’s all, Dustin, that’s all?” Eddie rhetorically asks, kind of incredulous that the kid was being serious with him.

“Yeah, uhm, that’s pretty much it.” the younger boy confirms shaking his head, supported by Steve who also nodded positively.

“Oh, you guys are being serious. Of course, you’re being serious.” you scoff, thinking about how crazy this plan sounds to you and Eddie.

“Listen, Eddie, I know everything Dustin is saying sounds totally delusional, but we’ve actually been through this kind of thing before.” Robin calmly says, trying to put some hope into you.

“I haven’t.” you state staring between her and Eddie.

“I mean, they have a… a few times, and I… I have once. Mine was more human-flesh-based, theirs was more smoke-related, but bottom line is, collectively, I really feel like we got this.” she finishes with a positive smile. If you and Eddie were cartoon characters, you’d surely have question marks above your heads right now.

“Yes. We usually rely on this girl who has superpowers, but, uh, those went bye-bye, so…” Steve finally says, still searching words to explain what’s on his mind.

“So, we’re technically in more of the…” Robin tries to help him but is not successfully also.

“Kinda…” both of them starts to mumble random words, making it hard for you and Eddie to follow.

“Brainstorming phase.” Max interrupts, catching everyone’s attention.

“Brainstorming.” Steve repeats snaping his fingers at her when she finds the perfect word.

“There’s… there’s nothing to worry about.” Dustin splutters followed by a thumbs up from Steve, making you and Eddie exchange shocked looks. Before you could say or question anything, you were all startled by sirens wailing on the street.

“Shit.” Steve runs quickly to one of the windows.

“Tarp. Tarp. Use the tarp.” Robin says before following Steve, you make quick work in getting out from the boat and helping Eddie hide under the tarp.

You all run towards the small windows of the cabin when the sirens increase, seeing two police cars and an ambulance fast crossing the road in the direction of the woods. Thank God they wouldn’t pay any attention to Rick’s house by the lake, or you’d be screwed.

“Holy shit, what now?” you say running your hands through your hair.

“Follow them. Let’s follow them and find out what happened, it must have a clue for Vecna or something.” Robin says, Steve searching in his pocket for the car keys in the next second.

“Eddie, stay there and keep it cool. We’ll come back as soon as possible.” Dustin says when leaving the cabin with the others.

You were about to follow them when it passes through your head, what if we don’t come back? The thought alone making you stop in your tracks and look above your shoulder, seeing how Eddie tried to peek discretely from under the tarp. With everything that happened on the last two days, you couldn’t leave him alone, not again. You just left the night before because you needed to get supplements, and you wouldn’t have asked for Steve to stop by your house if you hadn’t considered the possibility of sticking with Eddie before. His D&D magazines, mixtapes and super-secret polaroids weren’t the only thing you got from your house, but also some clothes and necessary items for you, you just didn’t want to tell it to the group because you knew they would question your risky decision.

“Hey, Dustin!” you yell, running towards the boy and directly grabbing his backpack.

“Come on, Y/n, what are you waiting for?” the boy huffs wondering why you’d stop him in the middle of a hurry.

“Where are your radio-receivers? The Walkie-Talkies?” you ask searching around his things.

“Here, but why do want them now?” he answers opening another compartment and handing you one of his radio-receivers.

“Come on, Y/l/n, we don’t have the whole day!” Steve calls from the car, Max being the only one who waited for you with the door open.

“I’m sticking with him.” you confess to Dustin while closing his backpack.

“You´re what? Y/n, that’s risky, you never dealt with this before, what if-“ the boy starts rambling, but you are quick to shut him down.

“I’m here for him, it makes no sense in leaving. It’s decided, I’m staying.” you say earning a warning look from Dustin “We’ll be ok. Teams, remember? If anything, we’ll call for you.” you offer an assuring smile.

“Shit, okay. Just be careful, and don’t do anything stupid.” the boy warns with a sigh before running alone towards the car.

“Good luck.” you wave your receiver in the air when you notice the confused faces from Robin, Steve and Max.

Besides understanding your message, they still hesitated for a second before listening to Dustin and starting the car, leaving you behind. Taking a deep breath, you watched the car slowly disappear within the road, already taking backward steps to come back into the cabin. When you turned in your feet to face it, you saw the tarp in the exact same position it was when you left, saying that Eddie was still there, sighing, you closed the metal door carefully, trying to make less noise possible and not startle him.

“You can uncover now. It’s clear.” you say approaching the boat again, and Eddie was fast to get up when he heard your voice.

“Y/n? What the fuck are you still doing here?” you can feel how worried he is by the mix between his tone and face expression.

“Uh, they thought it was better for one of us to stay?” you answer but in a doubting tone, you know Eddie, he’s stubborn and overprotective when it comes to you doing things because of him.

“Don’t bullshit me, I heard Steve calling for you.” he gave you a serious stare, making your eyes involuntary switch to the ground “Come on, baby, it’s fucking dangerous for you to stay here. The police are looking for me, and soon the whole town will be doing so. I’m innocent, yeah, but it’s kinda hard for me to prove it right now, but now you? You have nothing to do with that.”

“Yes, I do.” you firmly say, forcing yourself to look at him after being caught “I’m your girlfriend, best friend, and when we established that we agreed that we were stuck with each other for life. There’s no way I’m not sticking with you.” you protest getting closer to him inside the boat.

“We said that when we weren’t dealing with murders, haunts and supernatural shit.” he scoffs rolling his eyes.

“So what? It doesn’t change anything for me. And don’t act as if you would hesitate to do the same if I was the banished one.” you accidentally let your voice sound a little too irritated, gulping as soon as noticed it.

“Baby, it’s just… I don’t want anything bad to happen with you. If what Robin said about this another world is true, I believe that what I saw happening with Chrissy is just the top of the iceberg. I don’t want you to go through this.” he says looking back at you, his hand hesitantly gripping above your knee.

“I didn’t want you to either.” you shift closer in one motion, grabbing his cold hand in your small one “It’s decided Eddie, I’m not changing my mind. If something bad happens, it’s gonna be to the both of us, but I’m sure that if we stick together, like we always did, we’ll fucking kill it and have freaking amazing stories to tell our grandchildren in the future.” you assure him with teary eyes but also the shadow of a smile.

“Fuck, I love you.” he breaths out after a moment of silence from him just staring right into your eyes “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” he whispered between soft kisses, starting by your hand and tracing all the way up your arm.

“You don’t have to do anything. We’re made for loving each other, remember?” you smile caressing his left cheek with your delicate hand “I love you too, Eddie the Banished.” you softly laugh using the new nickname he gave to himself, before kissing him romantically.

“Hm, you know what?” he murmurs against your lips as soon as the kiss starts to become more passionate.

“Uh oh, here it comes. What is it, Eds?” you asked already knowing that he had something not so usual in his mind.

“I guess I won’t need those polaroids anymore, uh? Now that I have you here with me.” he smirks, while putting a strand of hair out of your face.

“For God’s sake, Edward!” you laugh playfully shoving his shoulder and calling him by his name “You really telling me that, even in the actual scenario, the first thing that comes to your mind is our carnal deeds, Munson?” you point around the cabin and the boat you’re in, arching one of your eyebrows when staring at your boyfriend.

“Hey, don’t shame me for that, Y/l/n. Or you’re gonna tell me that you weren’t thinking about our carnal deeds when you brought the blessed polaroids to me, uh?” he said cocking his eyebrows, his tongue lightly smothering his lips when he noticed you had nothing to say against him “Ha! See, I’m right. You dirty little thing.” he claps his palms startling you, but immediately jumping in your direction to cover you in ticklish kisses.

“Okay, okay, I surrender! Maybe I was, but it was me trying to help you!” you laugh defending yourself, trying not to fall out of the boat.

“Yeah, you can help me now, you know, up close and personal…” he whispers moving his messy kisses to your neck.

“Hold on there, Casanova.” you smile carefully stopping him “I’m not sure if I feel like doing it under a tarp at Reefer Rick’s dirty cabin.” you chuckle.

“Yep, kinda nasty, I’m sorry.” He grits his teeth, kissing your hand as an apology.

“It’s okay.” you smile widely back at him “Actually, I’m kinda hungry, and I bought noodles, cheese and bacon… So, how about we get to the house, put our mixtapes for good use and cook ourselves a decent meal, huh?” you suggest grinning.

“What if someone sees or hears us?” he gives you puppy eyes.

“They won’t. We can always keep the house closed, and I’m almost sure that Reefer Rick would totally listen to the same records as us.” you say while getting up from the boat.

“Maybe you do have a point.” he shrugs, grabbing his jacket from under him.

“Plus, up there he probably has a bed, or even a couch, which is much more comfortable than a boat and a tarp.” you smirk reaching your hand out for him.

“Hell yeah, they’re definitely hearing us.” he matches your expression before grabbing your fingers and getting up to follow you.

Deep down, you know that this is short-term joy, a way you easily found to forget about all the shit that’s happening to you both right now. But that’s why you’re here, to help Eddie unwind at the same time you keep growing this everlasting love for each other, because honestly, it doesn't matter if the world is ending out there, as long as you and Eddie are together, you’ll always be happy.

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson #stranger things #st4 #stranger things imagine #eddie munson smut #joseph quinn

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