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bucky-barnes-diaries · 2 years

Text

Day 31 — Trick or Treat

Pairing || Dilf!Neighbour!Bucky x Female!Reader

Word Count || Around 1500

Contents & Warnings || Fluff — implied infidelity (nothing major, just flirting)

Disclaimer || English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistakes or misunderstandings!

Flufftober Masterlist

October 30th

The big Halloween party you were supposed to go to with your friends was cancelled the day before, and you were pretty much all devastated.

Since they were desperate for a night of partying on Halloween Eve, they were willing to travel 2 hours away to a party that would be even greater than the one you were initially going to. Although you were also keen on some fun, you weren't sure if you were up for travelling that far. You told them that you would let them know the day of if you were down to go.

That was until a few hours later; you bumped into your hot next-door neighbour Bucky in your driveway. You got into talking, and when he asked you about your plans for Halloween, you explained your conflicted situation.

With a shy and beautiful smile, he welcomed you to come along with him and his two kids for trick or treating since his wife was away for a few days. Your heart warmed when he told you that the kids had wanted you to come and that he would very much be thrilled as well if you tagged along.

You immediately said yes. Maybe a little too enthusiastically, which made Bucky chuckle sweetly at you for accepting his invitation.

“Um, it's a date then,” he chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Y-yeah, it's a date,” you confirmed as your heart pumped in excitement that you would spend tomorrow evening with him and, of course, his adorable kids, who you'd grown so fond of.

October 31st

You checked out your vampire costume in the mirror, ensuring every detail was in perfect place. It was sexy yet classy—revealing, but not anything significant that screamed “slut”, and it was more than appropriate enough for the evening. Satisfied with how it all came together, you went to the house next door.

You took a few deep breaths to compose yourself and calm your excited heart before you rang the doorbell. After a couple of seconds of waiting, bouncing nervously on your feet, the most dashing count opened the door for you. He was also a vampire, and you weren't sure if you should feel awkward or excited that you matched perfectly together. You didn't want anyone to get the wrong impression and think you were a couple. Although you secretly hoped that it would come across that way.

“Oh wow! You look perfect! I-I mean, you look just, uh, that's a, that's a very good costume,” he fumbled with his words as he tried to keep it friendly.

“O-oh, thank you, Bucky,” you gave him a shy smile as you felt so giddy at his compliment, “you look good yourself. I-I just hope it's not awkward that we are matching,” you chuckled nervously.

“No, not at all. Actually, it's-”

He was cut off by two screaming little vampires running towards the entrance, calling your name in excitement.

“You're here! You're here!” They both squealed in unison as they jumped up and down in excitement before hugging each side of your body.

“Hey, you two! Oh, you guys look so scary.”

“We’re vampires as well! We wanted to be just like daddy!”

“I see that,” you giggled as you took in their adorable costumes.

“I tried to get them to go as something else, but they really wanted us to be a vampire trio,” Bucky explained as he had the most heartwarming smile on his face as he watched his kids interact with you.

“And now you're part of that family too!” The oldest exclaimed.

“Um,” you took a quick peek at Bucky through your lashes and saw him displaying a shy grin while his face went practically red he must have liked the sound of that, “well, I-I guess I am for the night.”

The kids were becoming incredibly impatient now and were ready to go out and trick or treat. With their pumpkin buckets in hand, they each grabbed one of you and pulled you along while barely able to contain their excitement at all the candy they would collect and consume tonight.

The streets were packed with people of all ages, families with young children dressed up in the cutest outfits, and teenagers as well, who tried to score candy but failed miserably.

You, Bucky and his kids walked up and down the Halloween-decorated streets, both in your own neighbourhood and a little beyond, going from door to door and collecting treats from each house. A few houses were kind enough to give yourself and Bucky a small treat as well, which none of you could pass up on.

It was a delightful evening, and you had no regrets that you decided to spend time with your lovely neighbours instead of getting piss-drunk miles away with your friends at some dumb party you wouldn't even remember after. No, this gave you the time and excuse to hang with the man you were crushing on and his two kids you'd grown so fond of, and it seemed like they were ecstatic as well that you joined along.

Once you were nearing the last few houses, the buckets were filled almost to the brim with nothing but sugar. But the kids begged “just one more house” for the past five visits now, and since they had been on such good behaviour tonight, Bucky allowed them a few more extra houses before it was time to head home.

They walked up to the front door of the last house with their heavy buckets held in front while you and Bucky stayed a little bit behind, having a pleasant chat. With big smiles on their faces, they rang the doorbell. After a couple of seconds, the door opened, and they excitedly blared, “TRICK OR TREAT!”

“Oh, my, don't you two kids look so lovely in your little costumes,” the elderly woman declared as she gave each of them a sizeable candy bar. Bucky's kids were well-mannered and said a nice big thank you before saying their goodbyes.

As you were about to leave, the lady directed herself to you and Bucky.

“What precious kids you have. And what a wonderful couple you are,” she giggled sweetly.

Your eyes went wide at the woman's words, and you sensed a hint of sweet awkwardness surging between you and Bucky at that moment. You kind of just stood there, not really sure how to react or say as you became flustered and your cheeks heated up. Bucky chuckled awkwardly and scratched his neck. To your surprise, he innocently thanked her instead of explaining the situation, which left you pleasantly surprised.

On your way home, the kids took up most of the talking, luckily, as they were both so ecstatic about all the candy they were going to eat.

Once you were back at their house, you all found your seats at the kitchen table. All the candy was dumped in the middle, and the kids were graceful enough to let you and Bucky eat some of theirs. You all munched on the chocolates and sweets as they shared silly and fun Halloween stories.

All was pleasant and fun now and not awkward at all between you and Bucky, as your primary focus was on them. That was until the kids decided to leave you and go play off the overload of sugar, leaving you and Bucky on your own with a mountain of candy.

“So,” Bucky was the first one to start talking after they left, “um, a-about what happened earlier,” he fumbled with his words as he fiddled with a candy wrapper, “I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable. I should have just-”

“Bucky,” you cut him off with a sweet chuckle, “it's ok. Don't worry about it.”

You didn't want any uncomfortable tension between you and him. He made a mistake right?, and he was most likely just tired after walking so much that he probably didn't mean what he said. He just wanted to get going and go home. There was no point in bringing up what happened when nothing was going on between the two of you. He was a married man, for god sake, and it was stupid of you to even fantasise or wish for anything more than just being neighbours and possibly friends.

“I had fun tonight, Bucky. I really enjoyed spending time with you and your kids.” You gave him a warm and genuine smile as you tried to change the topic to something more delightful.

He blushed a soft pink as he nodded his head while looking down at his hands. “I-I did too, and I know they did as well.” He smiled as he met your eyes, and you stared at each other for a moment; no awkwardness between you now.

A part of him looked relieved that you didn't pursue the situation further, but you also sensed that a part of him had more to say, but he held his tongue.

You simultaneously picked up another candy and ate it slowly while you both held big grins on your faces.

“Oh!” Bucky exclaimed, like he had forgotten something. “I forgot to say, happy Halloween.”

“Happy Halloween, Bucky,” you softly chuckled.

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texas-writes · 1 year

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Lovefool

Smut, dilfs, best friends hot dad trope

A soft trembling moan falls from your lips as your hips bang into the rosewood desk he has you bent over as each well-paced thrust lands deep within you. His whole body is warm and firm as he holds you close, squeezing you affectionately while you drown in the heavy scent of sex and his cologne. The sharp nips of his teeth along the sensitive flesh of your neck is a welcome pain, adding to the sensations overtaking your body. His arm across your chest pulls you flush against his chest as he leans closer to the desk, seeking a deeper angle within you. Moans tumble continuously from your lips, your mind too hazy to form words. You’re so close, god you’re so close. You push your hips back into him-

“Hey, hey, y/n- wake up.” You groan and roll over to face Jolyne. Your body is sweaty and your cheeks flushed with amor and embarrassment. “You were, you were uh, havin’ quite the dream from the sound of it.” “And I woke you up?” It’s dark, you can't see her, she can’t see you. That little bit of knowledge is the only thing keeping you from bursting into tears at the moment. “Yeah, no worries though, it happens to everyone. Soooo, who was it about.” “Don’t remember,” you lie, ‘God this is terrible,’ you think, rolling out of bed and heading towards the door. “Come on, dream like that you gotta remember who it was. I have dreams like that about Tom Cruise sometimes. Remember when he was in that vampire movie? Sooo fuckin’ sexy. Where you goin?” “To take a shower Jo, I’m horny and embarrassed,” you snap, closing the door behind you.

You lean against the door and let out a silent sob, clapping your hand over your mouth to silence any possible noise you could make. You’d die if your best friend found out you had a wet dream about her dad in her bed of all places. Fuck what was wrong with you? Even if you did fuck him, which you wouldn't, even though you were an adult, and it was legal sure, was it moral? You knew Jotaro held morals over the law. He’d kill a man if it was the right thing to do, hell, you were pretty sure he had killed a man. “I can’t just stand in the hall like this, what if he comes out? What if I look weird? What if I smell weird?” ‘Just go shower, jack off a little, go back to bed, and apologize to Jolyne for being a dick when she wakes up.’ Easy Peasy.

It was in fact, not easy peasy.

The shower knobs were squeaky as hell, most likely because it was two in the morning and the only sound in the whole house, but still loud as hell regardless. You couldn’t get the water temperature adjusted, either burning or freezing you. You eventually decided hot was better than cold, it was bad enough you were busting a nut in their shower, the water bill didn’t need to be extravagant on top of that. Then it took you forever to get into your groove, almost certainly because of stress and embarrassment, and when you finally did, you couldn’t seem to shut up. Biting the back of your hand to silence your moans as you rode your fingers, you finally managed to get yourself to the edge. You came with a high-pitched whine, biting down on your hand hard enough to break the skin and slipping, narrowly catching yourself on the towel rack, but not before slamming your whole body weight against the back wall of the shower. The color drains from your face as you realize that Jotaro’s room is on the other side of said wall. ‘Oh god, he has PTSD, oh fuck he's gonna panic and kill me. I’m naked, shit. It's all over now.’ The door never slams open, and you’re left alive. Maybe he didn't hear it. You turn the shower off as quietly as possible and step out, toweling off and dressing before heading back to Jolyne’s room.

When you go crawl into the bed Jolyne rolls over, facing you. “So, did you enjoy your wank?” “Jo, what, why are you still awake.” “It must have been good, I heard you slip,” she giggles. “You were listening,” you hiss, staring at her in disbelief. “Not on purpose, I was trying to go back to sleep but you weren’t exactly quiet.” “Fuck, I hope nobody else heard. I’m sorry you did though, and I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier.” “It’s fine, I get pissy when I’m pent up too. We need to find you a boyfriend, and fast.” “Bitch,” you laugh, throwing your arm across her shoulder. “But you loooveee me,” She coos, throwing her arm over you as well. “Shut it and go to sleep, I’m still embarrassed.”

When you wake up in the morning, Jolyne’s not in bed, so you assume she’s already gotten up to get breakfast like the glutton she always was in the morning “How are you not fat,” you always asked her, watching in disbelief as she ate a bowl of cereal and four pop tarts. “Hard work,” she’d always reply around a mouthful of food. You couldn't find her. You poke your head into the kitchen and call softly, weary of waking Jotaro. “She had classes this morning,” a deep voice rumbles, frightening you. Jotaro’s leaning against the counter, a steaming cup of coffee in his hands, his face as unreadable as ever. “Good morning Mr. Kujo, do you uh, mind if I have coffee with you,” you greet softly, grabbing a mug from the cabinet. “Not at all, y/n. If anything you're my favorite out of all Jolyne’s friends, but don’t tell her that, she’ll never talk to you again just to spite me.” You let out a soft laugh. “She doesn’t really hate you that much, only a little bit,” you hum, pouring yourself some coffee and leaning on the counter across from him. It was just coffee, so why did it feel so dirty? “Are you alright, I heard you fall in the shower last night.” Because he had heard you, that’s why. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine thank you for asking, I just slipped.” He shrugs, your answer saiting his curiosity.

“May I ask why I’m your favorite out of Jolyne’s friends,” you ask suddenly, staring into the warm mug in your hands. “You’re just pleasant to be around, that’s all.” “You don't seem the type to derive pleasure from other’s company, Mr. Kujo.” “Most people are intolerable, yes, but I happen to hate you less than the others by a long shot.” “Not one to mince words, I see.” “Speaking of deriving pleasure, you’re a noisy one I hear,” he counters. You’re dumbfounded. Never in a million years would you have expected him to be so forward. “So you heard me?” “I’ve overstepped,” he murmurs, putting his mug down and turning to leave, but you reach out and grab his wrist. “Mr. Kujo, Jotaro, may I call you Jotaro?” “I’ve insulted your privacy, I no longer deserve your respect, why not,” he replies, looking as beaten as you've ever seen him.

“May I confide something in you, Jotaro, something deeply personal?” He nods. “I-I uh.” ‘You stupid fucking bitch spit it out or don’t, stop wasting his time.’ “The reason I was doing that last night is because I- um- I had a wet dream. About you.” He stares at you blankly. ‘Oh god, I’ve really done it now he’s disgusted. He hates me. I’m so fucking filthy. What’s wrong with me?’ “Really,” he breathes finally, bringing a hand up to rest on your cheek. “I know it’s foolish to think about you like that but I can’t help it and-“ ‘oh god he’s leaning towards me what do I do?’ “M-may I kiss you,” he whispers, his breath ghosting across your lips as he speaks. You answer by simply wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him, kissing him fervently.

“Is it disgusting that I touched myself when I heard all those sounds you were making? Am I a terrible man for jacking off to my daughter’s friend? The very fact that I kissed you- that I ever thought about you like that-” He looks genuinely disgusted with himself as he looks to you for an answer. You jump, bringing yourself to sit on the counter and pull him to you, his massive thighs resting between your legs. “You’re not disgusting,” you coo, stroking his hair soothingly. It’s surprisingly soft, making you bring your other hand up to rest in his hair as well. “You're a good man, everyone that’s met you knows that. Cold, maybe, but still good. I know that underneath whatever it is that you got going on in there,” you tug gently at his hair for emphasis. “There’s a man with his own needs and wants the same as everyone else, and who am I to deny a good man something we both want? Something we both need, hm?” “You’re smarter than this, stop being foolish. Why’d you waste your time on someone twice your age. There’s plenty of young people that’ll be able to give you what you deserve. Make you happy for a long time.”

You silently weigh your options as he speaks you can force yourself to leave now and let him spiral into self hatred, or you can hang around and fuck him. “But that’s not what I want. I want you. Don’t I deserve to be happy now too?” “You’ll get hurt,” he sighs. “Maybe I’m into that.” He lets out a laugh. “Was all that respect a facade?” Oh this was wrong. Really wrong. He was your best friend’s dad for God’s sake. “Maybe you should make me respect you again,” you giggle, pulling him in for another kiss. You’re surprised when he returns the favor, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to his body. You pull away and lean against his chest, catching your breath. He rests his cheek on the top of your head and nuzzles into your hair. “Did you really mean that,” he whispers. “Yes,” you reply equally as quiet. You hold each other in silence for some time, just enjoying the closeness of the other. “Jotaro, I’m serious, please, even if it’s just once, I need to know.” “You’re sure?” You nod into his chest.

Jotaro’s room was simple, yet inviting. You observed the details of the space from the edge of his bed while he carefully removes his clothing, laying them across the black leather chair in the corner. The chair had one of those corny motivational posters from the 90’s hanging over it. Something about beauty, but you figured it was there because of the dolphins on it. It wouldn’t have looked quite so out of place if it was just the picture. You shrug the thought off and get up, shedding your clothes and moving to hug Jotaro from behind. You peek around him before slinking around him and pushing yourself into his chest. “Easy, I can’t get my clothes wrinkled, alright?” He was always put together. It would be more than suspicious if Jolyne came home and saw him looking frumpy. Jolyne. Fuck what were you doing? ‘This’ll be a one time thing, and she’ll never know. I just need to know how he feels then I’ll be happy. Just this-‘

Your thoughts are interrupted as Jotaro turns around with you and tosses you onto the bed. He’s wearing just his boxers now and God, is he hot. “Are you sure you want this,” he questions, crawling into bed next to you. “Yes,” you reply, pulling him into another kiss. He rolls onto his back, pulling you to straddle him as you continue kissing. His hands are large and warm as they roam over your body, gently squeezing all the softest parts. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs against your lips before taking you in another kiss. You’ve never felt so safe with someone like this. He’d already given you every opportunity to decline him, and you knew that if you told him to stop he would, without hesitation. You break the kiss, your lungs crying out for air as Jotaro’s hand traces up your spine and unclasps your bra. You slip it from your shoulders and toss it across the room, exposing your chest to him. He pulls you up so he can trail kisses along your breasts, making you sigh at the sensation.

You roll off of him and silently urge him to get on top, which he does with no fuss. His finger curls into the waistband of your underwear as he pulls one side down your hip. “Can I take these off sweetheart?” “Yeah,” you breathe, lifting your hips to help him. He sits back and takes you in, his eyes hungrily roaming your naked body. “You’re just so beautiful,” he sighs, before pulling you to the edge of the bed and settling his shoulders between your thighs. His warm breath feathers against your exposed sex, making you shiver. He rests his head against your thigh momentarily, his hair tickling the tender flesh there. The gesture is comforting in a way, easing some of your anxieties. You cross your ankles over his shoulders, urging him to get closer. He obliges, licking a stripe up your slit, making you gasp. “Please,” you whisper, tangling your fingers in his hair, pulling him closer as he eats you like a starved man. He simply hums against you in response, nudging his nose against your clit as he delves his tongue into you, urging you closer and closer to your orgasam. You moan and dig your heels into his back, urging him closer to you. Jotaro groans at the sensation, pushing you over the edge. You tug harshly at his hair as he works you through your orgasam.

He crawls up the bed and flops down next to you, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Was that good? I haven’t done that in a really long time,” he chuckles, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. “It was amazing. Nobody’s ever made me cum like that.” “That’s disappointing,” he hums, pulling you into his huge body. “You want me to do it again?” “Yes, God yes, please.” He grunts and rolls over. You can hear him rummaging around in the nightstand before letting out a pleased noise and rolling back towards you. “Hm, safety first,” he hums, tearing the small foil packet between his fingers open with his teeth. You giggle and tug at his hair with one hand and stroking his cock with the other. “Hng, god even your hand feels good shit sweetheart, keep going like that.” “What if I used my mouth instead?” His cock twitches in your hand and he throws his arm across his eyes, moaning.

You move down and settle yourself between his huge thighs, your mouth watering at the sight of his strong cock standing at attention between them. You lick along the vein at the underside of him. He shivers at the contact and buries his hands in your hair. His moans get louder as you kitten lick your way up his shaft, practically shouting as you lick the precum from his weeping slit. “Oh god, that feel so good shit, fuck!” He’s much louder than you had expected him to be due to his quiet nature, constant praise falling from his lips as he guides you over his cock and urges you to take him into your mouth. The head of his cock nudges the back of your throat as you take him into your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks. “God sweetheart, you’re so good at this, taking my cock like this.” He lets out a guttural moan as you take him into your throat. He twitches in your mouth and you pull away from him, separating yourself from his cock with a wet pop, a trail of saliva leading from your swollen lips to his painfully hard dick.

You take the unwrapped condom from him and roll it onto him before flopping down beside him on your back. “Come on, sir, don’t you want to fuck me?” “If you want me you’re gonna have to beg for it sweetheart,” he growls, rolling on top of you and pinning your hands above your head. “Please, sir, I’ve been so good. Please use me.” Jotaro lets out a satisfied noise and moves his hand between the two of you, lining himself up with your entrance. You roll your hips, making the head of his cock catch on your clit and you gasp. He finally sinks into you, sheathing himself inside in one fluid motion. The stretch is both painful and the best thing you’ve ever felt, making you squirm under him. “You’re such a good girl, look at you taking all of my cock so easily.”

He rests inside of you for several minutes for you to adjust, occasionally giving just the smallest of strokes to keep himself hard as he waits. “Y-you can move now. It doesn’t hurt anymore,” you whisper, leaning up towards him. He leans down closer to your face and kisses you sweetly, beginning a moderate pace between your thighs. “You feel so good, so warm, taking me so well,” Your walls tighten around him and he groans, thrusting with more force than before. “So good, best I’ve ever fucking had hng. He’s still holding your hands above your head, so you stretch your fingers down to run along his hands. The rhythm of his thrusts becomes sporadic as he gets closer to his orgasam, jumbled praise and expletives falling from his lips as his cock twitches inside you and he stills.

The grip on your wrists loosens and he drops down on top of you before rolling onto his side and pulling you into him. “Are you okay sweetheart?” “Yeah I’m okay, was that good?” His arms tighten around your waist. “Good? I think that was the best sex I’ve ever had,” He chuckles, nuzzling his nose into your cheek. He’s so pleasant, which was definitely not something you had expected. He had always seemed the type to go into the bathroom and tell you to get gone before he came back out, but he wasn’t. You took your time cleaning each other up and helping to straighten each other’s hair and clothes.

He drove you home afterwards and made sure you were safe inside before driving off. Jolyne was home by the time he returned, so he told her you had gotten up late and asked him to drive you home because you had chores to do before your classes tomorrow. She believed him and went upstairs without another question. You and Jotaro were sure you had gotten away with your little rendezvous.

Jolyne called a few days later and you were, as usual, more than pleased to talk to her. “Hey, I have a question?” “Shoot,” “So I’m doing laundry right, and is there any reason your underwear is in my dad’s laundry basket?”

#dilftaro #jotaro kujo #stone ocean #smut #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure

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weaselbeaselpants · 5 months

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Just finished Little Vampire. At last. Aggressively cute and kid-friendly like I'd hoped. Pacing and storytelling issues aren't that bad but they're noticable, especially with the english dub.

But oh my god guys. This movie was MADE for tumblr. Like, you would NOT BELIEVE. It's got:

2D animation that's really nice.

Cute monsters.

TWO tumblr sexymen (one a SKELETON PIRATE monster DILF; the other an object head) obsessed with a woman, one sensitive the other not.

A sexy giant-mermaid pirate ship.

A hot Morticia-Addams vampire Milf.

A goo monster that's never heard from again but you know is absolutely going to be popular in some spaces.

Classic horror movie references.

Last minute villain redemption of love.

Sword fights.

Angry tomato dog.

Nutella.

Cool pirate music as it's back-soundtrack.

A platonic/not-so-platonic Let the Right One In kid pair.

Mussulini dies because of skeleton pirates.

Human kid having trouble understanding grief.

A skeleton eating poop.

youtube

I'm so happy I finally saw it. Worth EVERY SINGLE cent of that 5$ it is to rent on Youtube. I'd buy the shit outta this movie it's so cozy.

#petit vampire #little vampire #ho mah gawd so cute #Youtube

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vukovich · 2 years

Note

Peculiar Prompt!

Character 1: Draco

Character 2: Harry

Relationship type: it’s like friends with benefits except instead of sex its blood-drinking (and maybe a little bit of sex) to lovers

Mythical creature: one of them is a vampire

Flavor: hot cheetos

Thing you see while driving: ducks

Fetish: tiny cock ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Weather: blizzard

(i humbly request a not-sad ending, very excited to see what you do with all this!)

Fit to Bust

The hematologist was named Dr Sanguine, which felt fake. His exam table felt plenty real, though.

"Polycythemia," he said.

"Huh?" Harry replied. "Oh. Uhm, monogamy- I mean, monogamous, I guess. If the opportunity arose."

Dr Sanguine shook his head. "It's polycythemia. Not lupus. Dr Histoid owes me a round of golf."

Harry glanced down at the sheaf of handouts. "Huh," he said again. "So now what?"

Dr Sanguine shrugged. "Oddly, this is the only condition in existence that leeches were good for. Call the West End blood donation centre and make an appointment. Once every month or so ought to do it."

"Huh."

"I'm sorry," the woman said primly. Her lipliner looked like a smooch-shaped cookie cutter. "But you were declined."

"Huh?" Harry reached for the single sheet of paper on the clipboard in her hands. How could ten questions disqualify him already.

A trim, dark-haired man skidded out into the hall on an exam stool. Cubic zirconia stud earrings glinted on both sides of his head, his perfect hair made Harry self-conscious, and his scrubs were entirely too tight in very nice ways.

"They don't want your sort around here, darling!" the man yelled, then winked. Harry very much wanted to rub his dick on the man's chest.

"Oh," Harry said. "Huh."

The St Mungo's Department of Blood Maladies and Sudden Losses was eerily quiet. There were no windows. No ceiling fixtures, only lights in wall sconces. If the halls had been carpeted, it would have felt more like a library or mansion than a hospital wing.

An elderly witch in vintage cat eye glasses silently waved him over to the counter. "Mister Potter," she whispered putting down her book. "We've been expecting you."

"Oh, uh, okay," Harry muttered. It was a far sight better than the Muggle blood donation route, at least. "The Healer I saw said the donors get to choose the vampire... not the other way around... right?"

Visions of being fed on by redheaded women had plagued his nightmares of late.

"Yes," the woman said, nodding. "The rooms have one-way glass, so you can peek in from the hall before you decide to go in."

"Okay, thanks, I-"

A man came out of one of the furthest rooms, delicately pressing a wad of gauze to his neck. Harry gave him a quick head-to-toe assessment. Tall, dark hair, good face, nice chest, trim wai- BULGE, WET SPOT, muscular legs.

The man cleared his throat as he passed the desk. The woman nodded to him. "Four weeks, Mister Ravenswood?"

He licked his lips and caught Harry staring at his crotch. "Yeah, four weeks'll do."

The woman nudged her glasses up higher and addressed Harry. "Go on, then. Take your time. Some of them are more popular than others."

Harry nodded and set off down the hall. There were four doors on each side, and above him, two gold placards. One said "Ladies" and the other "Gents". Harry moved to the "Gents" side of the hall, assuming it was addressing him, then realized that they'd sorted the vampires inside the rooms, not the blood donors.

Across the hall, a woman with curly red hair looked up from her book and waved through the glass, showing a good half-inch of fang. Harry squeaked and huddled against the wall.

The vampire inside the first door looked like Filch, but cleaner, which should have been an improvement, but just felt suspicious. The vampire in the second room looked like a youth Quidditch coach, but not in a sexy DILF sort of way. More of a pins-his-hopes-and-dreams-on-kids kind of way. Both sat in mauve vinyl hospital recliners looking as though they, themselves, were the patients.

The third vampire was missing. His room didn't have a chair, just a bright Persian rug and a heap of satin and velvet throw pillows.

Harry was ready to give up and research phlebotomy spells when he peeked inside the last room. The last vampire looked like David Duchovny.

Harry pushed the swinging door open, and the vampire leapt to his feet. He bared his teeth like a snake.

The back of Harry's head hit the wall first, then his shoulders, then his arse, then his hands. He let out a startle cough, and the vampire slammed a hand around his throat.

Harry groped in his pocket for his wand, found it, and whispered, "Lumos-"

The vampire leaned forward, his nose brushing along Harry's jaw.

"Lumos sol!"

Golden sunlight streamed out of Harry's pocket. The vampire hissed, grabbed him by the neck, and shoved him though the swinging door.

Harry kept his wand pointed at the door for several long moments, watching as the vampire went from snarling at the glass to pacing, to sitting back down in his chair.

Harry rubbed his neck. Leave it to St Mungo's to get donors killed.

The third room was still empty. Unless there was a vampire hiding inside that pile of pillows.

Harry looked at the not-DILF Quidditch coach. The man looked like a skinny Jack Black, which should have been a compliment, but wasn't. He pushed the door open slowly.

The vampire glanced up once, curtly, then announced, "No blokes."

Harry threw a hand up dismissively and turned around and went back out into the hall.

The redheaded vampire across the hall waved to him again. She was using a fang to tie off yarn on a knitting project. Absolutely not.

Nobody had told him that the whole blood drinking thing actually was sexual, but he'd assumed it couldn't not be sexual. And the fact that the one vampire had a no-penis policy seemed to prove it.

And the human who'd left as he was coming in had obviously had a good time, presumably with the vampire from room three, who'd already fed and left.

How could it not be sexual to have someone stronger than you, faster than you, hold you down, pierce into your body, and drink you down. Every single bit of that was sexual.

But if he had to choose between that kind of intimacy with a blood-sucking, Argus Filch-looking son of a bitch and experimenting with blood letting spells, the spells sounded like the better bet.

He waved back to the knitting vampire and headed to the desk on his way to the lifts.

The woman at the desk didn't look up from her book, but cleared her throat loudly. "No luck?" she said in a creaky old voice.

"Uhm," Harry said, "No, I suppose not."

She nodded ambivalently.

Harry started to leave, but stopped. Maybe that missing vampire was worth asking about. Blood letting spells were notoriously hard to control, and the leading cause of false death reports.

"The, uhm," he started. "The vampire in the third room. What's his, uhm..."

Harry left his question in the air.

She arched an eyebrow and marked her page with a finger. "Well, he certainly never goes hungry. Quite popular." She gave Harry a tiny smirk. "I think you'd get along fine. He comes every few days."

"Huh," Harry said. "Alright. I'll try again on Thursday."

She opened her book and shooed him away with "Wear something nice."

Harry showered, put on nice trousers, a clean shirt, and arrived five minutes before donation hours started, only to find out...

It was Malfoy. Harry's entire body slumped, standing in the hallway, and he considered kicking the door like a petulant teenager.

Of course it was Malfoy. Who else would drag a Persian carpet and a cubic yard of throw pillows into a hospital room just to eat a meal twice a week?

Malfoy.

Malfoy would require the trappings of luxury for a fucking snack.

Harry lingered in the hall and watched Malfoy, sprawled in his pillow nest like a Victorian courtesan. He appeared to be asleep, but as far as Harry knew, vampires didn't sleep.

There was a good chance Malfoy would just tell him to fuck off. There was also a good chance he wouldn't, and Harry would have to reconcile having a pseudo-sexual encounter with Malfoy, of all people. Quite possibly an actual sexual encounter, which could be brilliant, because Malfoy was hot. Or it could be a disaster, because the world at large had yet to notice that Harry Potter, media darling, had a dick the size of his thumb. If anyone was willing to sell that story to the tabloids, it would be Malfoy.

Harry rested the tips of his fingers on the door, but didn't push it open. Maybe he could pull this off without getting his dick involved. If he could summon enough loathing for Malfoy, maybe it could just be a blood letting, and nothing else.

He sighed and pushed the door open.

One of Malfoy's eyes slid open, then the other, like an annoyed snake. He licked his fangs, and Harry waited for a snide remark.

Instead, Malfoy's nostrils flared. His voice was lazy and thick. "Polycythemia?" he asked, as if questioning the daily special at a restaurant.

"Uhm," Harry muttered, "yeah. How'd you know?"

Malfoy shrugged, one-shouldered. "Smells like it." He yawned and sank into the pillows.

The points of his fangs caught the light from a small lamp in the corner, and Harry's arms ran with goosebumps. He blew out a breath and willed himself to calm the fuck down. It was just Malfoy. Stupid, pointy, pasty (extra pasty now) Malfoy.

Malfoy made no effort to move, so Harry stood nervously at the edge of the rug. "So, uhm, how'd you end up a vampire? Last I heard, you were a Cursebreaker."

Malfoy shrugged again. "Still am. I didn't use a containment ward on an artifact I should have. Ended up bleeding to death here in hospital, but Mum knew someone who knew someone who knew someone undead, so... Night shift Cursebreaker now."

"Huh." Harry wondered if he needed to take his shoes off to step on the rug, but Malfoy had his shoes on. But his shoes were cleaner than Harry's. "So... how's being a vampire?"

Malfoy's smile was slow and left his eyes cold. "No complaints."

Harry stepped on the rug. "You don't mind hunting people for food, do you?"

Malfoy's grin showed his fangs. "You think I have to hunt?"

Harry tried to ignore the thrill that raced up his spine. "Don't you?"

The toes of Harry's shoes met the edge of the mound of pillows, but Malfoy made no move to rise.

"Mm, no. Not once." Malfoy ran his tongue over a canine. "My prey comes to me, doesn't it?" He patted the royal blue velvet pillow next to his hip.

Harry licked his lips and sank to one knee. The rug gave way slowly under his kneecap. It was one thing to have a vampire pin him against a wall, or tackle him to the ground. That was a trial to endure, and that's what most of his life had been. But never had he crawled eagerly into a predator's lair. And definitely not with his dick rubbing against the back of his zipper like this.

Malfoy lifted an arm and let Harry settle in along his side. They sank down together, and Harry wiggled closer. There was no magic to it beyond a warm, welcome body and a soft bed.

"You're warm," Harry said.

Malfoy shrugged. "Only hungry vamps are cold."

Harry laid his head on Malfoy's arm and rolled onto his side. He bent his knees up a bit to hide the little tent in his trousers. The entire length of his neck was exposed. Any second, Malfoy would strike. He'd move like a bolt of lightning. He'd pin Harry down and sink his teeth into Harry's neck.

A tiny squeak snuck out of Harry, followed by an embarrassed flush across his cheeks.

Malfoy glanced at him sidelong, not even turning his head toward Harry. He swallowed, and Harry did, too.

Harry's cock was far too hard, and he was sure Malfoy could smell it. If he could smell a blood disorder, he could surely smell Harry's arousal. Any second, he'd strike.

Malfoy sighed. "I'm not just going to bite you and suck the blood out, Potter."

"Huh?"

"I was raised to appreciate a meal." Malfoy turned his head, nose to nose with Harry, and his voice dropped to a whisper. "Anticipation and all."

"Uhm, okay. What... I mean... How..."

Malfoy licked his teeth, and Harry felt the heat of his mouth ghost over his lips. "I want you ready to burst when I finally bite you."

Harry gulped.

Malfoy rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms loosely around Harry. His lips grazed Harry's chin. "I want to barely nick you and have you flood my mouth."

Harry's entire body ran hot, and his cock throbbed against his trousers.

Malfoy's lips kissed a slow, soft line along Harry's jaw. "I want your heart in your throat when I put my teeth in it."

Malfoy slipped his thigh between Harry's, and Harry's cock rubbed against Malfoy's hip.

"Oh, God," Harry blurted.

He lifted his chin and gave Malfoy his neck. Malfoy's breath shuddered out as he lowered his mouth to Harry's neck. His hand left Harry's hip to slide between them, cupping Harry through his trousers. Malfoy moaned again when he found Harry's cock.

"Oh, fuck," Harry whispered. "Fuck-fuck-fuck."

Malfoy's tongue was hot and wet against Harry's neck, and he wasn't certain who was making more noise. He thrust into Malfoy's hand, tension building at the base of his cock with every thrust.

"Fuck," Harry gasped, "bite me."

His balls tightened, and he tried to stave of the weight of his impending orgasm, but it was too much, too good.

Malfoy sighed against Harry's ear, and Harry moaned and humped into Malfoy's hand.

And Malfoy finally struck, slow and seamless. Harry didn't know he'd done it until his vision wavered, and he felt Malfoy's jaw working against his throat. His body faltered as Malfoy stroked him through his trousers. His muscles went lax. Black spots danced in front of him. And he was still so fucking close to coming, held in suspended animation as his blood pressure dropped, his brain starving for oxygen.

His vision went black. His ears rang. He let out a strangled, helpless peep of a moan as he sank into the nothingness.

Malfoy took a deep breath, and, like a gunshot, the room rushed back into focus. Light, then sound, then arousal flooded Harry, and the suspended tension in his hips broke like a tidal wave. Malfoy stroked him one last time, Harry's body went rigid, and he came in his trousers like a fucking teenager.

Malfoy licked Harry's neck as he came, and Harry clutched his head. Malfoy let out a low, satisfied chuckle, then gave Harry's neck a final kiss. He rose, licking his lips clean. In the dim lighting, it looked like barbecue sauce.

"Shit," Harry whispered. He stared up at Draco, wide-eyed and thoroughly dazed. "That was good."

"Mm hm," Draco hummed. "What did you have for dinner?" He licked his lips and hummed appreciatively again. "Curry? No, no real spices, just the capsaicin."

"Uhm." Harry's boxers were absolutely plastered to his groin. "Flamin' Hot Cheetos."

Draco sucked his spit through his teeth. A pink flush was rising in his cheeks. "Hot Cheetos," he said absently.

Despite the sticky situation in his pants, fatigue washed over Harry. He yawned and snuggled down into the pillows. He half-expected Draco to nudge him to leave, but he tucked a pillow under his own head and curled his arms around Harry.

Harry tucked his head under Draco's chin. "So you're here twice a week?"

"Mm hm."

"What do you do the other nights?"

Draco nuzzled his chin in Harry's hair. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Harry yawned and butted his forehead against Draco's chest. "Maybe I would like to know."

Draco huffed in surprise. "Huh."

#peculiar prompts #drarry #vampires #cw: blood #cw: choking? breath play? blood choke but not?

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lordofthemushrooms · 5 months

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I’m too horny to be playing Resident Evil 8 it keeps telling me to run but why would I run from these extremely hot vampire ladies and the sexy dilf with a giant hammer

#me and my boyfriend whining ‘mommy’ every time we see Lady D #Karl heisenberg could get it thank you and Goodnight

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fishy-xp · 2 years

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KinnPorsche Ep 13 Brain Rot

a short one today lads because the rest of it is going into analysis shit-posting

THE FIRST LINE?????? EJRINGFETIGHRTSUO FUCKING VEGAS I CAN'T I'M ABOUT TO DE-UNITE THE STATES FOR HIM

Kinn's smile screams he doesn't realise how much of a manipulative, lying shit his dad is and all he wants is for his boyfriend and his father to get along because he loves both very much.

Tankhun being genuinely distraught over Pete and telling off KP for it is top tier

I am ignoring the Tawan/Vegas to Vegas/Pete parallels because it hurts me, don't talk to me, don't perceieve me

Tankhun really said whore boy funeral hours

The Porchay polaroids are so endearing but also so EMBARASSING PLEASE CHAY YOU ARE A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD MAN, DO BETTER

Kim speedrunning falling in love and heartbreak

I saw the pool and I had a breakdown. I had to pause and grab my earphones because I cannot sin like this in my father's house

Though I can't lie, with how high Porsche was above the pool's barrier, I was terrified he was going to fall over the edge

Kim being incredibly hot-tempered but hiding it under a cool, suave composure but letting it slip every so often when it comes to Porchay is SO HOT.

Also I love how the bodyguards treat dilf Chan like a Khun as well because they always bow to him, urgh yes, I'd bow to my lord and saviour daddy Chan too

Vegas flirting is offering someone a lighter and yknow what good for him, I don't smoke but I would want him to offer me a light too (and we can commit arson together because Vegas seems like he enjoys arson)

Please tell me Vegas gets to torture the uncle

Okay nvm, the uncle getting shot was an actual jumpscare

something about vegas' shirt is giving. the gold button and brown fabric, very old timey whimey vampire lord.

I have a confession and it's that I did not find Pete attractive. Like yes he is adorable and cute as all shit. But hot? No. UNTIL THIS FUCKING OUTFIT. YES YES I AGREE VEGAS, PETE SAENGTHAM PHONGSAKORN DO YOU KNOW HOW SEXY YOU ARE?????? THIS OUTFIT IS MAKING ME SOME OTHER TYPE OF FERAL.

DID ANYONE SEE THAT THE EP 14 PREVEIW SAID 'THE LONGEST EPISODE' INSTEAD OF NEXT EPISODE. Y'ALL IF THIS FINALE IS NOT AT LEAST THREE HOURS LONG I WILL RIOT.

#kinn theerapanyakul #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #vegaspete #vegas theerapanyakul #porsche pitchaya #pete phongsakorn #porsche #kinnporche the series #kinnporsche brain rot

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mortallyperfecttimemachine · 1 year

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Nibelungenlied Hagen: Clever, dependable, super loyal, actually loves his friends and family A Lot, may start praising them at the vaguest prompting. Also RUTHLESS, a bastard, Will Not Hesitate to kill you and/or ruin you if he feels you're a threat and/or he doesn't like you, is a-ok with harming women and killing children. King of bullshit excuses that somehow work even tho they really really shouldn't. Besides killing ppl and stealing their stuff, skills set also includes lying, scheming, and knowing how to use scorn "full well", which means not only you don't want to fight him or trust him too much, you also Do Not want to get roasted by him. Really dislikes Siegfried (relatable!) and is very very proud of himself for killing him (adorable!!). Drawn to cool weaponry like a magpie to shiny objects. Very pragmatic and straightforward, has probably never met a moral dilemma he didn't immediately stab in the back or dump into the Danube. Is the protagonist of what I honestly consider to be the single most (darkly) hilarious moment of the poem (seriously, go read Adventures 25-26, they're a WILD ride). Asking what his True Motivations are, how his character Should be interpreted, or even which historical or mythological figures he might be based on will probably start a fistfight between academics (tho that goes for everyone in the Nibelungenlied tbf) which makes him a bastard even on a meta level. Canonically long-legged and broad-chested and with hair "mixed with grey" at least in the second half of the poem, so I feel (almost) completely justified in calling him a leggy DILF/silver fox with nice tiddies. Engages in situational blood-drinking and gets his friends into it as well, which definitely doesn't justify me calling him a sexy vampire but shh, whatever. Once I posted a meme about him and tumblr removed it because it was just too hot. 11/10, literally my second literary crush right after Hector from the Iliad, been thinking of him and sighing romantically since I was literally just a kid. *sigh*

via @haljathefangirlcat

very correct take 👌

#hagen von tronje

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batmanthundercunt · 2 years

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look. i really do hope we get to see that stupid fucking vampire and his hot twink maid fuck each other silly, yes. and yet there is a deep and cavernous part of my soul that dreads the era of taika waititi being the internet’s newest hot dilf sexy man

#wwdits #and then he’s gonna get cancelled for like. getting into a fistfight with charlie kaufman over a parking space #nandermo

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creativebrainrot · 1 year

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currently fixated on making a trio of nmc whores for my eu alt to attend vsartparties TWICE with

i dont have names for all of them yet but one will be a white & gold vampiric dilf i think, thinkin the only named one, sylas, will be real fucky like sleazy flirty type and probably one thats just sulyen/harper but Worse(TM)

sylas has a real nice dark color palette and im not gonna lie im fixated on mabaki rn too so he was kinda inspired by him too. sidenote- why the Fuck is mabaki so goddamn hot and sexy an *dragged offscreen*

#i wanna draw these dumbasses so much #and i want to work on comics like wyldblunt makes #so i can share maelgwyn more gwyynnnieee i dont post you enouuughhh UGH #AAAAAAAAA (*plagued by ideas*)#rotthoughts

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bryceslahela · 2 years

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i have a fun idea, do you know the tiktok trend where they decide whether they think romcom couples stayed together after the movie ended? could you do that but with your choices mcs and their lis after the book ended 😇

OOOOHHHH this sounds fun 🤭🤭 ok i’ll do them but also warning for spoilers and stuff.

dakota + amelia - he died so…. no <\3 i have a hc that my weh mc went to college and after college met someone and they fell in love <3 she never forgot abt dakota tho

luna + bryce - bitches r ride or die for each other. if it wasn’t for the whole stupid arc in oph where they couldn’t be official bc of ethan then they woulda been official end of book2 and started thinking abt moving together end of book3. they’d be married with one kid by now and bryce would be a dilf. also luna lahela is such a pretty name omg.

sereena + gabe - sereena is enjoying the whole secrecy thing but honestly i think sereena would have dated someone else if they were available. she isn’t really a glutton for punishment and if you date someone you work with you kind of have to be.

blaine + lilliana - i want to say yes? but also i feel like they’d definitely be one of those on and off celeb couples. she’d break up w/ him and then he’d be like ‘you’re not rocking w/ me ⁉️ imma kms’ meme. im joking but honestly they’d definitely have some rocky parts - i think they’d come out stronger though.

donovan + esme - YES but i also think donovan would want esme to have ‘the college experience’ so he’d break up w/ her but he hasn’t clocked on to the fact that she would rather do anything else than party and drink. so they’d do long distance i think.

arine + marc antony - HELL NO!! they were just using e/o. both are extremely attractive but they honestly do not care for e/o genuinely in the slightest. in my main hc, she stays single because revenge is her bf <33 but in another, she married syphax.

lucas + deena - she loves that man. she is not leaving him and he wouldn’t want to leave her. after college, she moves to the big city w/ him and he becomes a hot nd sexy president in the future. i think deena would be a good first lady, she is firm and doesn’t care abt bullshit. lucas’ first law as president is to exile losers so bye bye parker and connor 😘

athena + thomas - that man is not going nowhere. they’re married now and had a little boy to complete their family of five. ava and luz aka best sisters ever.

flora + cas + gabe - they’re all dating each other idc what flopberry says. also they turned my good sis into a vampire so the bare minimum is that they’re all together for eternity now.

trystan + clara - trystan was on his knees for a crumb of attention and you think he’s leaving??? that man has just gotten comfortable. clara had sex w/ him once and now he’s already got her a closet cleared out. he’s probably already got a ring somewhere.

solana + beckett - bro gets no bitches. he did manage to bag solana tho… how u go from no bitches to bagging the baddest one? anyways…. they get married and have a magical kid or wtvr.

#i didnt do all of them #mostly bc i forgot some of my mcs names 🤭#but if u have anymore let me know!#jade answers

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annebonnydyke · 2 years

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top 5 beverages. and top 5 vampires

Top 5 Beverages

green tea- i literally drink green tea instead of water its not even necessarily a favorite of mine but its just a fact of life for me

bubble tea- i love sweet drinks i love the texture of both tapioca pearls and popping bubbles! definitely my favorite beverage that is a treat for myself

orange juice (with pulp very important) -again i like sweet drinks and i like the texture of the pulp, i also love freezing it to make popsicles in the summer

hot chocolate- again sweet drinks i'm very predictable, a wintertime staple, great with peppermint

lemonade- at my old job we didnt have lemonade so i would squeeze like 4 lemon slices into water and add a little sugar to make my own, big fan of lemonade. also really great for popsicles. also cannot stress this enough soda is not lemonade it hurts my heart when ppl say sprite is lemonade. pls treat urself better.

Top 5 Vampires

david (the lost boys)- hes got everything, cool jacket, gay little earring, mullet, motorcycle. lost boys is also my favorite vampire movie so that also helps. i think hes so funny truly a funky vampire dude of all time

laszlo cravensworth (what we do in the shadows)- hes bisexual he loves his wife hes a DILF. ive been a laszlo stan since the beginning and im so glad laszlo girles keep winning

claudia (interview with the vampire)- i dont even like the original iwtv movie that much (i havent seen the tv show yet but im planning on doing that when i have time) but kirsten dunst absolutely kills it. shes absolutely the best part of the movie, she does a great job esp since shes so young and the scene where she puts her hair off and screams and louis and lestat is my favorite part of the whole movie. i think the concept of a child vampire is always soooo sickening i love it and she does it great.

carmilla- i read the book as part of a research paper and everyday i am asking where is my toxic and bloody lesbian vampire romance. i want them to messy and horny is that too much to ask?

striga and morana (those two lesbian vampires from netflix castlevania)- cannot stress enough i wrote 20 page research paper in high school about them. theyre sooo sexy and hot. they are the lesbian vampires of my dreams theyre hot butch4femme evil vampire dykes who kill and dont feel bad about it. i only wish we could get more screentime about them 😔

put "top 5" anything in my ask and i will answer

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jejciu · 4 years

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might fuck around and lie on the internet for attention lol

#Btw as I'm typing this A hot sexy himbo of a dilf is calling me to go back to bed #Also he has a streak of white in his hair and is probably a vampire #I'm so tired oh my God lmao I need like an 8 hour long nap #maurycy talks

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weskerfied · 2 years

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Resident evil according to my little sister

Resident evil 0

Billy Russo and Rebecca are on a train into the wilderness but it unfortunately crashes and their night of romance is ruined by leeches.

Will and Wesker is my otp. They have great banter lol.

Wesker mode is superior hashtag Wesker and Rebecca.

Resident evil 1

You go around collecting keys in a mansion to open doors and eventually to unlock Wesker’s heart

Rebecca playing the piano is my Will to live but she never stops playing it’s so annoying.

I love yawn, I’m adopting yawn.

Resident evil 2

mr X is a dilf

You go around the police station to knock his hat off and piss him off.

William turns into an octopus.

Mr X has pet zombie dogs that you have to shoot in the head and they’re super speedy.

There’s also gross four legged things that fall from the ceiling and you can’t kill them (lickers)

Leon is in love with ada. Ada is not in love with Leon. We don’t like unreciprocated love. Poor Leon.

I love the guy at the beginning of 4th survoiur I might not know what he looks like but his voice is sexy.

Resident evil 3

Nemesis is mr X’s dad (he’s a gilf)

Carlos sits on a train and let’s Jill do all the work bc Jill is a badass and he’s a pussy but he’s sexy so it’s okay.

Nicholai is french. He has a Russian accent though.

I like his accent.

He’s a funny asshole.

Jill is very pretty.

Resistance

Alex is a hot lesbian tries to kill everyone else by putting clown zombies on people.

And there’s the guy who look like that one guy from stranger things. (Daniel looks like Billy)

Then there’s Nicholai, and Spencer. Not Spencer reid, I love Spencer Reid. He needs therapy.

Code Veronica

It’s got scary graphics.

Wesker looks scary and evil

Hashtag incest.

Steve is not Steve Rogers. I miss Steve Rogers.

Resident evil 4

Leon goes to Spain.

YOU CANT KILL ASHLEY it��s a shame because she’s a dumb hoe.

I get punched by my brother every time he breaks a box with a snake in it. I’m in danger. Call 911 (we live in the uk it’s actually 999)

Resident evil 5

Wesker became a squid.

There’s chickens and you piss them off.

I don’t like sheva she sucks she’s just annoying and we don’t vibe.

Wesker actually survived the volcano. I watched it happen.

Resident evil 6

Wesker’s child falls in love with the girl that is saved in a previous game

*sudden realisation that it is Williams daughter*

WOAHHHH THEY WERE DESTINED FOR EACHOTHER.

So there’s that one scene at the end where piers got infected and Chris goes into a pod and blasts into space. They were soulmates from the wrong timelines.

Resident evil 7

the best game ever

So there’s daddy Jack and margarita (yes that’s her name now) 🍸

Margarita tickles you with her bugs and Jack is just the best.

Screw his children they suck we only like Jack and margarita.

He runs you over out of love. He cares about you.

DUN DUN DUNNNNN jack turned him mouldy but your not supposed to know that yet.

There is a basement that reminds me of venom and Ethan is actually Eddie Brock.

Village

tall vampire lady and flashbacks to jacks house where you realise he’s been dead all along *heartbreak*

He was a zombie on the outside but his heart was still beating for his child who he had to save.

There was a dishevelled okay looking guy. The guy from breaking bad right?

CHRIS WAS HIS BEST BUDDY because he took his child and made sure she was saved.

#shitpost #resident evil village #resident evil #albert wesker #chris redfield #leon s kennedy #william birkin #jill valentine #rebecca chambers #resident evil 8 #karl heisenberg #alcina dimitrescu #resident evil 2 remake #resident evil 4 #resident evil 6 #resident evil 5 #little sister shenanigans #text

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ahundredtimesover · 3 years

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May 2021 Reads

Hello! All my May reblogs of JK fics (x f. reader) are listed below. Please note the angst, fluff, and smut descriptions (’read if’s’ are semi-feedback and guide when I reread the stories). Much love to the authors (reblog, comment, but please be kind) and to our sexy lil tease bun jk 🐰

Sing to me by @bonny-kookoo (f, s) - siren au (read if you want a fairytale-like story and an endearing jk)

Stay in your lane by @luxekook (s) - college au, jock jk (read if you want sexy main characters, fun sexual tension, and hot and funny smut)

Let me drive by @wtf-yoongi (f, s) - boyfriend au (read if you want a soft, light, and chill narration of a road trip w/ gorgeous description of jk)

The hand game by @solastia (s) - boyfriend au (read if you want a quick sexy read of cheeky and hot jk and if you have a hand kink)

Stay by @sahmfanficbts (a, f) - husband au (read if you want something deeply emotional yet beautiful, a quick read of a wonderful love story, and a warm hug in the form of loving husband jk)

Historic moments by @moyochu (f) - workmates au, teachers au, boyfriend au (read if you want a cute quick read of sweet moments & a whipped jk)

Demolition lovers by @livefree-and-diestrong (f) neighbors au (read if you want sweet and soft jk and good conversations)

Endear by @min-youngis (f) - workmates au (read if you want a quick super cute and super adorable story of shy people and their annoying but effective friends)

How to be a heartbreaker by @chemicalpink (s) - fuckboy jk, college au (read if you want a nice quick read of fun dynamics and that hot first scene)

Ride by @maliby (s) - stripper jk (read if you want to imagine My Time jk dancing to Usher and something so self-indulgent and hot and erotic and sexy jk that’ll make you lose your shit)

Inevitable by me (a, f, s) - exes au, parents au, dad jk, baseball player jk (read if you want pain and be soothed by soft moments and fluffiness)

Letters to you by @thedefinitionofbts (a) - time travel au (read if you want a beautiful and tragic love story that will make your heart hurt)

Ravenous by @illneverrecover (f, s) - vampire au (read if you want a soft and light, feel-good story with whipped and shy vampire jk and some good smut)

Treasure hunter by @guksthighs (f) - treasure hunter au (read if you want a light read with a twist and something fun with adventurous taekook)

Bedtime by @triptaech (f) - college au (read if you want a quick read of meet-cute & shy and flustered jk)

Water ripples by @inktae (a, f) - fantasy au (read if you want a well-written sad love story that hurts but is hopeful)

Wherever there is you by @jeonstudios (a) - husband jk, breakup au (read if you want a well-written gut-wrenching, heartbreaking breakup story)

The shoulder on which you cry by @lemonjoonah (a, s) - childhood friends au, small town au (read if you want heartbreak and hope in the form of Namjoon and Jungkook and just something painful and good and the concepts of home and love just pls read)

Helping hands by @eternally-writing (f) - husband jk, dad jk (read if you want a quick read of sweet and loving husband and dad jk)

Sweeter than strawberries by @cinnaminsvga (f) - strangers au, baker jk (read if you want something soft and fluffy and shy and adorable jk)

Anti-baby fever by @gashinabts (a, f, s) - boyfriend au (read if you want a roller coaster of humor, glorious smut, angst, and softness and one of my fave jks)

Indulgence by @ppersonna (s) - boyfriend au (read if you want sensual lovemaking and cute moments and lovely boyfriend jk)

When you’re ready to love + Ready to love (you, officially) by @an-exotic-writer (a, f) best friends au (read if you want a story of idiots being idiots but also of a good friendship, wonderful dialogues, and a sweet and caring BFF jk)

Dexterity + stupidity drabble series by @hueseok (a, f, s) - workmates au, hospital au, doctors au (read if you want cheeky but shy jk and so much sexual tension and glorious smut and a bit of everything)

Wildflowers by @koyamuses (f, s) - fae au (read if you want a sexy, soft read of sensual lovemaking with a touch of magic and an enchanting setting)

Beauty and the beast by @/guksthighs (a, s) - fae au, fairytale au (read if you want good storytelling of a classic, with the fantastical elements and great smut and wonderful characters)

Quarantine by @bts-bay-bee (s) - roommates au (read if you want tension and hot smut)

Doubts by @jimlingss (a, s) - boyfriend au (read if you want something heavy but relatable and just emotional and a bit heartbreaking)

Lemon sherbet by @extravaguk (a, s) piercing artist jk (read if you want something fun and sexy with really goooood sexual tension and just a hot but caring jk)

Play thing by @koocycle (a) - college au, jock jk (read if you want something playful but a little angsty and dangerous and intense moments and good sexual tension)

You come in waves by @angelguk (a, s) - werewolf au, best friends au (read if you want something sooo hot - literally and others - with really good sexual tension and smut and a dash of good angst)

Performances by @littlenoona (s) - strangers au (read if you want shy fanboy jk and something soft and sexy with good and tender smut)

Will you keep it down? by @mid-weast (a/f) - neighbors au (read if you want something fun and entertaining for the bickering and a bit of sexual tension at the end)

So close to perfect by @seok-jinnies (a) - boyfriend au (read if you want an angsty with idiot & guilty jk & strong OC but satisfying read)

I’m still sore from last night by @solarwonux (f, s) - boyfriend au, single dad jk (read if you want single dilf jk and something soft and sweet and sexy)

Our little girl by @blu-joons (f) - parents au, husband jk (read if you want fun banter but cheeky and sweet husband jk supporting his wife during labor)

Everything’s alright + Sweet Saturdays by @guklore (f, s) - boyfriend jk, college au, jock jk (read if you want fluffiness and sexy time and jk being a sweet and supportive, warm-hug type of boyfriend and something to make you smile)

Guarded by @junghelioseok (s) - bodyguard jk (read if you want a quick read of something fun and sexy)

Prima nocta by @taesinferno (s) - royalty au, king jk (read if you want an interesting premise, good setting, and good smut)

Space by @jeonsweetheart (a, f) - boyfriend au (read if you want whipped, cutely annoying, clingy, and sweetheart jk and something relevant, a little angsty but sweet)

Written in the stars by @jcwriting (a, f) - werewolf au (read if you want something pretty painful and crying scenes that will hurt but with a satisfiy end)

A dancer’s hips by @inkjam-moon (s) - best friends au (read if you want sexual tension, fun and sexy smut, and fun dynamics)

Heartbreak anniversary pt1 + pt2 by @pbandjk (a, f) - exes au, parents au (read if you want straightforward but heartbreaking dialogue and a realistic take on marriage/relationships)

If I told you + post-script by @gukyi (f) - best friends au, college au (read if you want humor, great dynamic between characters, and a jk that screams boyfriend)

Low libido jk by @hobiwonder (s) - boyfriend au (read if you want a quick read of fun banter and something funny and amusing dirty talk)

Honest fuckboy by @/hobiwonder (s) - college au (read if you want a quick read of cutely annoying jk and fun smut)

Liars, humans and werewolves, oh my by @oureuphoria (a, f) - werewolf au (read if you want something funny with fun dynamics and quirky OC)

I can tell you’re stressed, let’s fix that by @/solarwonux (s) - roommates ah, fwb au (read if you want hot smut and sexy, sweet, tattooed jk)

Concealed weapon by @gimmesumsuga (s) - husband au, mafia au (read if you want intense smut and hot and sexy but sweet husband jk)

Beyond breathless by @saladejin (f) - strangers au (read if you want a fun meet-cute read and adorable interaction and shy jk)

Feels like summer by @badbhye (a, s) - neighbors au (read if you want sexual tension, hot smut, dash of angst, and fun characters)

(monthly reads masterpost)

#jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfiction #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #bts fanfic rec

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