#how could i ever love without it?

[bentley0nfire]

When i say I need a day off what I mean is I need a day dedicated to watching psych overe and over again

#television #tv shows #burton guster #carlton lassiter #psych #shawn spencer #juliet ohara #this show is my life and soul #how could i ever love without it?

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[suntails]

fallen

#KICKS OPEN THE DOOR. HIIIIIII IM BAAAAAACK. TWIRLS MY HAIR AND STARES UNBLINKINGLY AT U #okay so long story short i need to speedrun if i wanna draw ANY lore art this time #bc i go to NY w no computer for 2 weeks on thurs and i wont have nrainrot anymore after. so i need to draw FAST things #so yea. she um. she. died. sniffles. ngl i thought she was already dead from the prev update so this STUNG #the fuckign GRIEF the way lilia collapses down in mourning her loss. she falls to the humans. i am SICK it HURTS #silver was so devastated in 7.5 without even seeing the death firsthand and being like 'how could i ever be loved' #lilia looking at malleus. the future of the kingdom. the treasure of his two closest friends (loves?) #and is like 'how can i ever love him enough' and proceeds to spend A FIFTH OF HIS LIFE SEARCHING FOR A SOLUTION #dealing w prejudice from humans. kicked out of the army Disgraced. all while mourning. he keeps going out of LOVE #twst #twisted wonderland #lilia vanrouge #malleus draconia #hes an egg he counts #ch 7 spoilers #so yea blah blah blah im not as eloquent as u geniuses i will just draw a silly little dramatic art to capture my misery and move forward #suntails

[symphonyofsilence]

Gojo stop info dumping on Yuta of all people about your failed love life, your broken heart, and your one and only, entirely unprompted. He's probably not as enthusiastic as you are about your Ex.

They had a rather memorable encounter that one time they met.

#I love how the three people witnessing his embarrassing yearning in the last panel are Maki Yuta and Inumaki. #Geto wiped the floor with all 3 of them. #at the other end of the spectrum we have Geto #Nanako and Mimiko were teenagers when they only then asked Geto who Gojo Satoru was and Geto answered them. #my man just doesn't talk about anything. to anyone. ever. at all. #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #geto suguru #satosugu #yuta okkutsu #okkutsu yuta #satoru gojo #suguru geto #and now Yuta probably has even more unnecessary information about Satosugu that he could do without after he possessed Gojo's body.

[learnelle]

During my mini hiatus I fulfilled my dream of visiting Norway! The most surprising thing was hearing Lithuanian being spoken literally everywhere. My mum and I always speak Lithuanian to each other, so it was incredibly bizarre for people to overhear us and then come speak with us, or to have waiters/shopkeepers switch from English to Lithuanian. I’ve never experienced anything like it before, and I had no idea so many Lithuanians live in Norway! I absolutely ADORED this, it made all the places we visited instantly feel like home. Despite all that, I learned a bit of Norwegian and discovered that it’s literally the cutest language. Language learning is absolutely wonderful

#But fr it made me so happy 🥺 I rarely ever get to use my lithuanian so this was such a pleasant surprise!! #When we arrived in Oslo we sat down at a restaurant and were discussing how ridiculously expensive everything was - #- and then the waitress came over and asked (in lithuanian) if we were ready to order 💀💀💀💀 #We were struggling to find our hotel and we asked two ladies on a bench who were speaking lithuanian where we could find it !! #At a food festival in Bergen there was a stand for lithuanian chocolate so we were tasting there and had so many Lithuanians come and chat #And soooo many more instances like this !! #Imagine spending 99% of your time not speaking a language outside of the country / without your family #and then all of a sudden everyone speaks this language in the least expected place. Woah! #If I wasn’t so settled in France and if I was a bit less poor I would consider moving to Bergen. I loved itttt !!!! #studyblr #light academia #studyspo #langblr #norway #cottagecore

[satans-knitwear]

GUYYYYYYYS I MIGHT BE MEETING A LITTLE BABY PUPPY DOG TOMORROW.

#No creature could ever replace my baby belle but my heart is so full of love I am hoping to share it some more #I don't wish to go through my days without a little friend to share it all with #I will keep you posted as to how the meeting goes and any new additions to my family that may occur #My heart feels ready to burst with nervousness and hope for the future.

[haunted-xander]

Song of Oblivion

#ooough my poor cataclysmic bird daughter #she loved so much and destroy everything for it #she denounces existance because to exist is to suffer- and suffering is her enemy #not realizing that in doing so she breeds so much of the suffering she hates #several of the fallen stars only fell because her question spurred them into a self-absorbing path #and then... and then the one singular meteia that realize her folly... who could be convinced of lifes meaning #by seeing you continue ever onwards even with your dearest friends' deaths on your shoulder #by seeing how everyone accepts oblivion for another tomorrow- even if they had suffered so much. even if they wanted to die #no matter what they fought. they fought and died and kept marching forward even in death #they loved life enough to sacrifice it. how could she not accept that? #and the realization that the reason she came to the conclusion she did was because she was flawed- bc hermes was flawed #as hermes said- he gave her wings to fly but did not teach her how to tread the earth #she was given freedom to experience the feelings and emotions of the world- but not the groundwork to understand it #she could see. she could hear. but she could not comprehend #she has knowledge- but without context it gets misinterperated and warped #OUGH im going to scream. i miss her. #meteion #endsinger #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[chucktaylorupset]

haha annual touden sibling fight to decide who got to name the dogs. do you ever think about what a colossal failure of parenting it is to sit back and let your children duke it out when you have the power to implement the obvious solution of having them alternate turns.

"laios named more of the dogs" of course he did. pov youre falin and you want something and it doesnt matter because your brother who is three years older than you is holding you down. he is three years older and he's bigger, and he always will be

like i dont at all think that laios like, physically hurt his sister in these fights or that either sibling remember these as traumatic but like i do think this had to teach falin that her desires didnt matter because when she was small she had something she wanted and it wasnt fair that she never got it and nobody fucking cared

and laios didnt care cause he was a fucking child and, while a caring person, not naturally empathetic. he wanted to name the dog! Its not either of the siblings fault that their dad, like with the mythical significance of the dog names, just did shit and never fucking explained any of it to them

anyway i think if the touden siblings fought again falin would 100% kick laios ass. girl is slanging a lamp post like it has the weight of a pool noodle, and more importantly, both she and laios think laios is going to win so while he's doing older sibling bullshit like making sure he doesnt hurt her, she is haymakering him at a 100% strength and whatever happen happens she can piece together his jaw and heal it after the fact

#Dungeon meshi #Laios touden #falin touden #Touden siblings #my post #Srsly how can you love a myth enough to name a dog but not want to tell it to your children #I think 1. Laios dad might have seen his children purely as for fulfilling a social role (village chief) #Without ever thinking of them as. Yknow. People #2. Also could 100% be meant to be read as autistic and his silence and awkwardness and rampant love of dogs #(1/yr?!? thats a lot) #Your dad is just like you and he still didnt raise you horror

[franklyimissparis]

what do you mean ‘what happened in india between john and paul?’ THIS is what happened in india between john and paul

#i can’t watch this scene without thinking of Them #it’s no use paul. paul we’ve gotta have it out. i have loved you ever since i’ve known you paul #i jest i jest #but sometimes i think this might not be too far off #other times i think it was more to do with blowjobs and internalised homophobia or depression and john’s fear of abandonment #or all of the above #who knows yoko! but i do love a bit of speculation #i can never quite decide how i think it happened or even how i view paul’s side of things in their relationship #mostly i think if older paul could go back he’d love john in whatever way he could #they’re very ‘right person wrong time’ in that sense #paul mccartney #john lennon #mclennon #john and paul #the beatles #beatles rpf #what happened in india #little women

[lunarharp]

more phoenix wright situations

#ace attorney tag #maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care. #gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth #without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly.. #or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates. #i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable #there have to be Situations that make you Realise. #as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+ #but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work #there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened. #Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations #the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is #people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong. #The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else. #But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me. #and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid ! #so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all. #i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out... #not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing #i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life. #i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior. #does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment. #so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3

[hopeswriting]

was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.

and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.

because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"

and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.

and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.

and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.

so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.

and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?

and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr meta #can i even call this one?? well i'm going to anyway lol #yamamoto takeshi #sawada tsunayoshi #i've never been normal about devotion in stories and characters and won't ever be so sorry if this doesn't make sense #also this is not to say the 10th gen loves tsuna any less unconditionally this isn't a competition #it's just me saying the particularities and specificities of the way takeshi specifically does it appeal to me the most #which is one of the reasons why i have such a big soft spot for 8027 #and it's not a problem in their relationship either btw that's also not what i'm saying #like tsuna doesn't mind it and absolutely /does/ reciprocate it 100% #he's just careful to keep an eye out so none of them will lose themselves along the way #also this is within the context of me shifting canon slightly to the left in the way where the 10th gen loves tsuna /so much/ #they could just as well actually and properly worship him as a god and it still wouldn't make a single difference #and me liking to lean into that fully and taking it to extremes and it inevitably becoming some extent of dark #because considering the environment canon makes them express it (the mafia) it's like. well how else are they meant to keep it alive #and make sure it survives through it without giving it sharp teeth and claws and jagged edges of its own you know? #so if you feel like this is some kind of ooc-ness you're not wrong #but also consider: i'm not wrong either <3 #anyway consider also: unconditional devotion running /so/ deep down to your marrow and to your very essence #even in the face of the whole world telling you how wrong it is and how insane and unhinged you are for it and condemning you for it #it still wouldn't so much as make you consider the thought they might have a point #and i genuinely EAT that shit up every time i love to see it <3

[rottengurlz]

lover, don't touch me // leave, i am a danger to you // but ooh, i hunger for you

#this is leona's vampire lover audra #i guess you could say the first time they met was when audra nearly killed her in a blood lust because she hadnt fed in so long #idk how to describe it well but audra suddenly stopped devouring her when leona looked at her with no fear in her eyes #but looked at audra like she was something to worship #she whispered that audra was so beautiful even as her own blood was splattered between them and staining her lips #leona had never seen someone or something so perfect and powerful #power that she wanted and knew exactly how to get when audra whimpered over the slightest bit of praise #i never talk about them but i am CONSTANTLY thinking about them <3 #some fun little facts is leona killed her husband in cold blood because he was pitiful and boring #she married the first person to show any interest in her just to get away from her family #he would have been a perfectly good husband for anyone else #but the best part of their marriage was when she stabbed him in the stomach 47 times and felt his blood splatter against her skin #for audra OBVIOUSLY had to make another oc who would do anything to be loved even if it means destroying herself #audra was turned very suddenly and without any guidance #she murdered her lover without even realizing it she opened her eyes to find them splattered across every surface of the room #because of that shes done everything she can to protect herself from others even if it means starving herself of blood #until she goes into a frenzy #leona is the first person she has ever willingly fed off of #idk if willingly is the right word since leona practically begs her to do it #i really want to remake leona now......... #i like how leona looks but i want her to match audra better #mysims #the sims 4 #simblr #sims 4 screenshots #sims 4 cas #ts4 cas #sims 4 edit #ts4

[laniidae-passerine]

I made my post about Dean Highbottom and then as I was writing my tags realised that his Hunger Games counterpart is Haymitch. and now my head is in my hands and I don’t think I’ll ever recover

#IM GOING TO CRY. I am part of the system I never wanted anything to do with it #I killed so many people without laying a hand on them. I never ever asked for this. I tried to say no. my hands are still bloody. #both turned to drugs to cope. both had a mentee who reminded them of someone they hated so much #(snow reminded the dean of his old friend. katniss reminded haymitch of himself) #both knew exactly how the games worked and all of its consequences because one made it and the other lived it #both lived in the shadows of the past and never really got out from it #but in the end one of them chose to be cruel to the children who they were asked to mentor #and the other loved even when it was killing him #god. twenty three years and they never managed to drown the fire out of him. his heart broke again and again #but he held onto those shards even as they made his hands bleed. and then one day two children appeared and pieced it back together #and some of it was missing and always would be. you can’t undo twenty three years of alcoholism and pain and grief and self loathing #but a lot of it was still there. far more than he ever even believed could have survived #Haymitch I love youuuuuuuuu I will always love you #and Dean Highbottom you were kinda cringe and lame. guynobody ass bitch. do better #haymitch abernathy #dean highbottom #thg #the hunger games #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #abosas

[southstand]

HARRY KANE (10) & SON HEUNGMIN (7) OF TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR The greatest partnership to ever exist in the world of football. “When you turn, I will be always there.”

BBC Sport / Kane and Son break the all-time record for Premier League goal combinations / The Guardian / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Liverpool 1-1 Tottenham, 07th May 2022 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Manchester United 1-6 Tottenham, 04th October 2020 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Aston Villa 0-4 Tottenham, 09th April 2022 / Kane-Son trademark celebration during Tottenham 2-0 West Ham United / Kane on Twitter after assisting Son on 4 goals against Southampton / Tottenham 1-0 Burnley, 26th Oct 2020 / Nice to Mich You, Son Heungmin / Premier League / Kane and Son hug during Manchester City 2-3 Tottenham, 19th Feb 2022 / Kane and Son hug during Tottenham 1-0 Crystal Palace, 20th Sept 2015 / Kane consoles Son during the Carabao Cup final against Manchester City / Kane and Son celebrate during Tottenham 5-2 Southampton, 26th Dec 2017 / Commentator on the Kane and Son partnership / Tottenham 2-0 Arsenal, 06th Dec 2020 / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’ / Stray Kids, I am YOU / Kane and Son celebrate during a 6-1 game against Leicester City, 18th May 2017 / Kane and Son celebrate during a 4-0 game against Everton, 13th Jan 2018 / Kane on Twitter / Frank O’Hara, ‘Morning’ / Kane wins the Golden Boot 20/21 / Son wins the Golden Boot 21/22 / Kane assists Son against Southampton / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’ / Mitski, Francis Forever / YouTube: Record breakers! Kane & Son react to becoming Premier League’s most deadly duo! / FootballJOE on Twitter, referencing Son’s trademark goal celebration, the ‘camera,’ through which he is looking at Kane / Gang of Youths, ‘Achilles Come Down’ / Kane and Son celebrate their goal against Arsenal / Kane on his relationship and link-ups with Son / Son and Kane on Instagram / Kane and Son after Kane assisted Son on four goals against Southampton / Tottenham 3-2 Ajax, 08th May 2019 / cr. Shaun Botterill, Getty Images / Commentator on the Kane and Son partnership / Tottenham 3-2 Manchester City, 19th Feb 2022 / Caption from ‘Heungmin Son and Harry Kane guess their Premier League goal combinations’

#footballedit #kaneson #tottenham hotspur #harry kane #son heungmin #son heung min #heungmin son #heung min son #tottenham #football #this is my magnum opus i spent an actual insane amount of time on this ... there is something SO deeply wrong with me. #i feel like this isn't enough to encompass the love they have for each other there needs to be MORE ... but i tried my best #in the end do you ever think about how they both grew up on different sides of the world with nothing binding them apart from a shared #desire to play football and to be the best at it. and how more than 2 decades later they found each other in london and became part of each #other's stories. because that's the crux of it isn't it? there will be no book written about one of them without mentioning the other. #they've become so intertwined over the years you can't tell where one starts and the other ends. #the amount of respect and admiration that they hold for each other is actually insane. like sonny talking about how harry is the best #striker in the world and - not pictured here - how he believed he could win the golden boot at the world cup last year which uh. #that was never going to happen but it's the FAITH. the unwavering relentless FAITH!!! that he has in him :((( #or the DIFFERENT way harry loves sonny oh i could pen tomes about it really but the point is that he opens up around him and he sheds that #stoic and untouchable persona and actually laughs and giggles and smiles in interviews with him and never doubts him. ever. #i couldn't fit in 'never in doubt' here but NEVER IN DOUBT!!! #'when you turn i will be always there.' how goddamn romantic is that then. #the thing is that they were born to be together. they were meant to play with each other. #there will never be another duo like them. #rahul.gif

[sageofthestarz]

Some sad kinda fucked Ifrit thoughts because I woke up and they came

Cw; Substance Abuse, Sex as a coping mechanism, and just kinda general sads.

Nothing graphic said but still putting those ^

Ifrit

Big, Strong, oh so stupid Ifrit.

That's what was thought of him. A muscle head who fucked hard, partied hard, and got fucked up without a care.

An easy fuck and go without connections, without having to stick around after sorta thing

That isn't who he was though.

This was all learned behavior because it's what got him the attention he craved, any sense of being useful, cared about even if it was only because his body was useful

He loved and hated every single second of every single hookup, high, and any other thing that got him out of his head

If he wasn't happy he wasn't useful, if he didn't stay the persona they all knew he wouldn't be liked, if she showed just how broken inside he truly was he'd lose everything and everyone he had, no matter how superficial he needed the attention

It didn't matter if it was a vicious cycle of regrets, and horrible sleepless night, bad highs and.. thoughts he shouldn't have. Couldn't have

It was all he had now

His pack was broken.

His pack hated him after he left.

He never bothered to try and reconnect, why would he.

Aether, Mountain, and Dew stayed with the band, Zephyr never spoke to him, Mist was long gone to be with the lake.

He couldn't bother any of them with this.

With him.

He left the pack, he left the band, that was his choice. He left the only people who cared about him and for what? To go and be whatever he was now?

Yes.

Even when he knew he could possibly rekindle something he didn't. Shoved those feelings down and shoved more substance down his throat.

He didn't deserve it.

Didn't deserve to have that happiness.

That comfort.

Ifrit used to be the most caring, lovable golden retriever there was.

Always following someone's trail, loving on them, and doing every favor he could

His pack loved him

He loved his pack

Now a days he's nothing more then an old dog owned by a family long since grown.

One that's waiting for the first excuse to be put down despite all the love it has left to give.

He thinks it's what he deserves.

A life of misery, and pain without comfort.

He watches his old pack in longing, the only happiness coming from seeing how happy and healthy they are

He'd do anything for them even now

He's so happy to see them thrive and love each other

Even if it also breaks his heart.

#He doesnt know how Zeph looks on longing for his mate to come home to him. #He doesn't know how much Aether wants to reach out but doesn't know how that won't send Ifrit farther into the deep end #He doesn't know that after the transition Dew wanted nothing more then for the fire ghoul to help him. comfort him. teach him #Dews been too afraid to ever speak up to him. After a offhanded comment a very fucked up Ifrit made when he smelled the ghouls scent #He couldn't bring himself to thinking he was hated #He doesn't know that the teas and medicines he finds in his medicine cabinet that help a suspicious amount with the exact hangovers #and issues hes been having were Mountain sneeking them in for him. A silent way to care without upsetting him #He doesn't know that the occasional rocks and shells he finds were small trinkets from Mist #He doesn't know that hes still very very loved by his pack #--- #cw substance use #tw substance abuse #These are juet some disjointed Ifrit thoughts #I kinda want to put the tags into the post itself but idk #Too late now #Ifrit has been on my mind so much lately #I think in my lore he does eventually get help and get back into the Pack #Aether and Ifrit are mated in my mind #but also Ifrit and Zeph are #idk it's a lot of thoughts I dont know if I could ever put onto paper #ifrit ghost #ifrit ghoul #dewfrit #aether ghoul #aether ghost #water dew #dewdrop ghost #dewdrop ghoul #dewdrop

[pharawee]

—CHERRY MAGIC 🍒 30 ยังซิง 🪄 Official Pilot

#cherry magic thailand #cherry magic #new thitipoom #tay tawan #taynew #karanachi #cherrymagicthaiedit #thai bl #thai drama #bl drama #bl series #my edits. #this is everything i ever wanted #this sounds silly maybe but i love how thai they've made this #they could have just adapted it without achi making merit etc #but they didn't #i hope they keep this in for the series proper