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blushweddinggowns · 6 months

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“So let me get this straight. You met a hot guy, conned him into a date with you, lied about who you were to get into his pants and still failed. Then kept going, bought a new phone and rented a fake apartment, fell in love him, continued this elaborate ruse for four months, and now you want me to figure out a way for you to get out of it?”

“...yes?”

“Oh my fucking god,” Chrissy nearly screeched into his ear, “That is what you have been doing? Have you lost your damn mind?!”

“Obviously, yes!” Eddie yelled right back, feeling fraught as hell. He was pacing back and forth, a cigarette in hand as he spoke, “I never planned on ending up here!”

“Really? Because this whole shit show seemed to need a lot of planning. Is this really what happens when I leave you unsupervised? I am never letting you out of the house again.”

Eddie was well aware he deserved the ribbing. He deserved much worse, but that didn’t change the fact that he was desperate, “Chris, I’m serious. I need help.”

“Eddie, I love you but come on. You need a plane ticket and an apology muffin basket and to move on. This guy doesn’t even know you.”

“It’s not like that,” Eddie said as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, “It’s-okay. I’m still me with him. It’s like…I’m acting like who I would have been if I was never famous. I don’t know how else to describe it.”

“Have you tried delusional? Also, can I get a picture of this guy? How hot can one dude be to drive you-”

“I’m serious,” Eddie interupted, irritation coloring his voice, “I told him everything. The shit about my parents, Wayne, the drugs, you, everything.”

“You realize that everything would include your real name right? And again, a picture for the love of god would really help put this in perspective-”

“You know what I mean,” Eddie sighed. She still wasn’t getting it, “I’m in love with him. Like Chris, he was made for me. And if I had just stuck to tattooing instead of doing the music shit then I’m pretty sure he’d think the same of me.”

He could hear a small intake of breath on her end, her voice coming out a bit more concerned than before, “Eds, are you serious?”

“Dead. I… I think he’s the one,” No, that was another lie. Eddie took a deep breathe before admitting the truth, “He is the one. And… I don’t want to lose him. I can’t lose him.”

“Honey, it’s an infatuation. A really, really strong one, but still-”

“Chrissy. Listen to me. I want to marry him. Do you understand me now?”

If that didn’t get through to her nothing else would. Because Chrissy Cunningham had spent hours upon hours of listening to Eddie complain about the institution of marriage since fucking highschool. How it was all a farce, just some bullshit people pulled for tax reasons and patriarchal idealism. And now here he was, fucking day dreaming about the perfect happily ever after with the love of his life.

“Oh Jesus,” Chrissy groaned, the sineritcy Eddie was looking for finally creeping into her voice, “Sweetie, I’m so sorry… but I think you might have fucked yourself too big on this one.”

“Isn’t there something I can do?” Eddie pleaded into the phone, like Chrissy actually had all the power in the world to fix this, “What if I just lead a double life? Couldn’t that work?”

He had seen a movie about that once or twice. It was a thing. Or if it wasn’t then he could make it one.

But Chrissy didn’t seem too convinced, “Eddie, honey, you’re describing the plot of Hannah Montana like it can actually be a solution. Do you realize how insane that is? Do you not get how far you’ve fallen?”

from the next chapter of this fic

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #alternate universe #famous eddie munson #damn your love damn your lies

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 7 months

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I watched the TV show Hold the Front Page last week. It’s weird that it took me so long. A year or two ago, I’d have been all over that shit the moment it aired. Josh Widdicombe; one of my favourites from TV, no matter how boring his stand-up is; and Nish Kumar, one of my favourite wonders of the world; combined with local news, a thing of which I very much approve.

I saw the promos for it when it came out, and I thought it looked interesting, but not quite enough to watch it. TV shows like that have been somewhat spoiled for me, compared to a year or two ago. Not that I ever thought they were real. I knew that panel shows and shows where people off panel shows go and do shit like this were staged things where everyone prepares beforehand and then goes out and pretends they didn’t. But I didn’t mind. I enjoyed the interactions, I enjoyed the shoehorned bits of stand-up, it was still funny.

Now – I’ve said before that it reminds me of when you eat good quality chocolate for too long and then try to go back to Walmart chocolate. What once tasted fine has become too sweet and overprocessed. Is a quite tenuous and barely-working analogy for when I listen to enough live comedy, suddenly the editing and production in TV shows that I always knew was there feels more intrusive than before, even baseline-level panel shows feel over-produced. So I haven’t been picking up new ones the way I used to.

But this is one I should have done. I recently heard Nish Kumar talk about it in his stand-up, the bit where he almost gets to “meet” Boris Johnson and shouts a lot of things at him, and I wanted to see the TV recording to compare it to his story. Then I decided that if I’m going to watch that bit, I may as well watch the whole episode. And if I’m going to do that, I may as well watch all six. I can’t add a show to my spreadsheet unless I watch every episode.

It’s on my spreadsheet now. I have to admit that a couple of episodes in, I thought I probably wouldn’t get through it. The awkwardly manufactured feel was so off-putting that I just wanted to turn it off and listen to Nish Kumar talk shit on The Bugle with no script. I mean, scripts are fine. In scripted shows. But it does annoy me more than it used to to watch a show that pretends to be unscripted, while clearly being scripted.

There’s one time in an episode of Hold the Front page when they say that Game of Thrones is Nish Kumar’s favourite show, and therefore he was excited to meet someone who worked on the set. In the latest Bugle episode, Nish Kumar mentions that even though he seems like the sort of person who’d be into Game of Thrones, he’s never seen it. Someone’s lying, and obviously it’s the TV, he’s telling the truth on The Bugle. It’s fine. I don’t think it’s horribly unethical or anything to lie about whether Nish Kumar has seen Game of Thrones. It just makes the show less interesting to me, that it’s not real. Not that I think every word said in a stand-up show is true either, but at least it was made up by one person, not a faceless team of writers who based it on market trends.

Though there are times when I’m glad it’s not real. They set up this premise where Nish and Josh are trying to get on the front page of various local papers, and they’re competing with actual journalists to do it. And I always like a competition, I watch shows that aren’t supposed to be competitive and manage to find the competitive side. But still, with this, I kept wishing they hadn’t brought in the competitive angle. Just have them go into the headquarters of a local paper and find out how it works. The competitive thing makes them look like dicks, because they keep getting in the way of hardworking journalists who are trying to do their jobs, without some celebrities and their camera crews interrupting with harebrained schemes. I can get into the competition of things that don’t matter – Taskmaster is funny because it doesn’t really hurt anything. Two guys going into an important institution like a local paper and mucking around, wasting the time of people with proper jobs, is a shitty thing to do.

Having said that, luckily I know it’s not real. Obviously all six papers are happy to be included, and the thing we see on screen of them being annoyed about it is a lie, because overall they get featured on TV and that’s a good thing for them. Obviously it’s all edited to maximize the parts where we say “look at these scamps mucking around and getting in the way of proper journalists”, because I guess the people doing the editing thought that would make them seem endearing, not annoying.

Also, it’s weird that they at no point acknowledged Josh Widdicombe’s background in journalism. They kept making jokes about how these are clueless guys with no idea what goes into writing a news article, ignoring that Josh Widdicombe worked as a sports journalist for The Guardian before being a comedian.

That’s why he’s on The Last Leg. People make jokes about how it’s weird that Josh Widdicombe is there despite not having a disability, and the joke is usually that his disability is asthma or vegetarianism or some shit, but there is an actual answer. The answer is that he was a comedian who used to be a sports journalist. The Last Leg started as Channel 4’s coverage of the London 2012 Paralympics – those three guys covered it during the Games, and it was so popular that the next year, Channel 4 gave them their own weekly show.

When decided who would cover the Paralympics, Channel 4 wanted people who were funny, who understood journalism, who understood sports, and who understood disability. So they picked Josh, an able-bodied comedian who used to be a sports journalist. Adam, a comedian who was disabled and had a bit of a connection to Parasport, hadn’t covered it as part of his career but did attend the Paralympics in 2008 and did a lot of charity work for Parasport. And Alex, a sports journalist who wasn’t a comedian but was disabled.

Anyway. Hold the Front Page weirdly ignored all that, because it didn’t fit their contrived storyline, but I did find the episodes got better as the show went on. The last episode featured some of the 2022 Edinburgh Festival, and it was interesting to see that on display.

But none of that is the point of this post. The point of this post is the screenshot of what I'm fairly sure is, despite nothing on TV being real, Nish Kumar's actual laptop:

Awwwww!

I have a sticker on the back of my laptop (old picture of my old laptop, but the same sticker is on my new one too):

I have that sticker because of the laptop from which Nish read during the episodes of The Mash Report when he had to record from home due to lockdown:

But obviously, since nothing on TV is real, that's not his actual day-to-day laptop. But I think I believe that that one from Hold the Front Page is. Nish Kumar goes around in real life with a Bugle sticker on his computer. Fucking lovely.

I've been thinking for a while that once I have enough money saved so I feel slightly comfortable, I should go to the Bugle merch page and buy a sticker to put underneath the "This is less than ideal" on my laptop. The price of a sticker is the least I owe them after all the hours of free entertainment they've given me. Maybe this is my sign that it's time to do that.

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rhetoricandlogic · 5 months

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A Time Capsule for Who We Used to Be: A Study in Drowning by Ava Reid

Martin Cahill Thu Dec 14, 2023 3:00pm

To say I consumed this book isn’t accurate—instead, this book consumed me. I read it from cover to cover onboard a flight that raced the sunset; outside the window, the light of the world kept pushing back against the inevitable, encroaching dark. Within the pages of their newest novel, Ava Reid has written several brilliant, haunted individuals, adrift and seeking answers, all of which can only be found in a home built for darkness. This is a story about stories—who tells them, and who they’re about; if the tellers are telling the truth, and if the subjects can ever have power over the tellers. And what power lies within the reader’s hands? When you are witness to a beautiful lie, do you have an obligation to find the truth? Reid grapples with these questions of art and artistry, legacy and literature, love and power, abuse and survival, and so much more in their dazzling novel, A Study in Drowning.

Effy Sayre is a young student in the college for architecture, as the university doesn’t allow women to enroll in their literary program. Belittled by many of the students around her, mostly male, haunted by visions of a character from her favorite book Angharad, and desperate to escape both, Effy believes she’s found it when she enters and wins a contest to redesign the ancestral home of Emrys Myrddin, the beloved and mysterious author of Angharad. Arriving at Hiraeth Manor, she can’t help but notice all the danger that abounds and riddles with no answers: There are no mirrors within this home; the sea threatens at the edge of the storm-wracked cliffs; Emrys’ son looks at her with a hunger that makes her stomach turn; and there is another student within the Manor. An academic rival who is determined to prove that Emrys Myrddin was a fraud, Preston Héloury becomes a splinter beneath Effy’s very heart. But as the two grow close, despite their best intentions, they begin to unravel the true mystery of Myrddin and Angharad, the truths of Effy’s childhood and her haunting visions, and the decrepit foundation upon which the Manor, and Myrddin’s life, was built.

Whether it’s before, during, or after reading this excellent novel, I urge you, dear reader, to read this essay from Reid. I think you would find a lot in there to admire on its own, but having read it prior to reading A Study in Drowning, it gave me the proper scaffolding to embrace the book Reid put their whole heart into, their experiences acting as a foundation that only added to my own experience of this novel. More than that, it is a tremendous and vulnerable essay of Reid’s mental health history and journey, and the ways in which they shaped A Study in Drowning. As I read this novel, I found myself reflecting back on the essay they had written, which only made me appreciate the book more: A Study in Drowning, like all great art, becomes a time capsule for who we used to be, a story that, in the now, may be the very mirror another might need to see and find themselves in.

And Reid holds nothing back, examining with brutal beauty how a young woman might contort herself, round and round, to keep herself safe from a world designed to make her feel lesser than, ashamed, hurt, and as small as possible. And, as a character towards the end of the novel aptly says, Reid stakes that that’s nothing to be ashamed of; in a story so centered around the idea of heroism, Reid asserts that in such a world, simply surviving, making one’s way through the horror and terror in a single piece, is absolutely enough. It casts the entire novel in a really incredible light, that even when Effy is at her lowest, when no one believes her and forces magical, mundane, and institutional threaten her in every conceivable way, even then, she picks herself up and keeps pushing. Forward, onward. Effy, at the end of everything, saves herself and it is beautiful.

Along the way, Reid delivers in every possible fashion. Atmospheric, gothic prose, sentences of shadow and mist abutting against the glamour and pine of fae malice, pages dripping with the brine and salt of seawater and history. Amidst these landscapes, they give us a tender and honest slow-burn relationship between Effy and Preston, these two hungry young academics so eager for truth, each hoping to bring the other into their own worlds of warmth and wonder. And throughout it all, the building menace and tension as it all comes crashing together in a crescendo that had me holding my breath at 30,000 feet.

Ava Reid has quickly become an author whose every work I will read, no matter what. I know when I open a book they wrote, I will find everything I want as a reader, and in A Study in Drowning, they have once again delivered. From the prose to the characters, from the world to the mood, from page to page, I found only delight, joy, and an eagerness to see how it would all come together. If you’re looking for a good starting point for Ava Reid’s work, I couldn’t recommend A Study in Drowning highly enough. Then, once you’ve been blown away, go and read the rest of their work, too!

#Ava Reid #A Study in Drowning #mahreviews #long post

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catierambles · 1 year

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Shades Ch.6

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Faith Culver (Vampire!OFC)

WC: 1054

Warnings: None

@brattymum96 , @ouroboros113 , @peaches1958 , @summersong69 , @henryownsme

After a quick stop at his apartment to shower and change clothes, he was back at Faith’s, though the Captain’s “advice” still rang heavy in his mind.

“I should probably start keeping food in the house if you’re going to be making a habit of being here.” Faith said from her computer and he made a sound from where he was lounging on her bed, scrolling through his phone.

“How do you…you know, eat?” He asked and there was a pause.

“You asking if I munch down on random people?” She asked, “No. I get pig's and cow's blood from slaughterhouses and farms.”

“And they don’t ask questions?”

“I tell them I use it for homemade black pudding at the bar.” She said and he thought back to the modest menu.

“I have seen it on the menu.” He said with a shrug, “Any good?”

“It’s my ma’s recipe.” She said, “Haven’t had it in a couple of centuries, but I remember it being quite good, especially on cold mornings. Bit minerally. She used sheep’s blood, but I couldn’t find a reliable supplier so I went with pig and cow.”

“I’ll have to try it sometime.”

“We usually had it along with eggs, toast, beans, mushrooms, and potatoes at breakfast.” She said, “Thought about opening the bar earlier to have a breakfast service, but decided against it.”

“Doesn’t have to be just the morning, you know.” He said, “Lot of people get off work late and have breakfast for dinner.”

“I’ll talk it over with the cooks once the bar opens again and see what we can do.” Faith said, “Thanks.”

“No problem. I’m guessing what you don’t use for that, you save for your own personal consumption?”

“It was initially just a cover story, but I had to buy more than I could possibly go through personally without it spoiling so I decided to make the lie a truth.” She said, “They have an overabundance of the stuff just from daily operations, so everyone takes a win. They have another source of revenue, I get a food source, and the bar gets something from my childhood.”

“I can’t remember the last time I had a good English breakfast.”

“I’ll have to make it for you sometime. I can’t eat it, but I do still like the smell of food.” Faith said, “Feel like being a test subject for the bar?”

“I’ll take one for the team.” He said and smiled when she snorted in amusement. “Does anyone at the bar know what you are?”

“Nope, just you.” She said.

“It’s been open for a while, though, hasn’t it? Almost a local institution. How do you explain it?”

“Strong genetics.” Faith said simply, “About every twenty years or so, the “previous owner” retires and leaves it to their “daughter”. I’ve only had to do it a couple of times, but no one’s asked any questions yet.”

“I know I’m asking a lot of questions, so feel free to tell me to knock it off, but why a bar?” He asked and there was a pause, something he noticed she did when he asked about her past or her…condition.

“Sean and I ran a tavern and inn in Dublin. He handled the customers, and I ran the day-to-day. Bit of a reverse from the norm back in the day, but he was better with people than I was back then and I’ve always been good at business.”

“Well based on how many people I’ve seen there on the regular, you’re more than just “good” at it.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Walter.” She said and he snorted, “Truth be told, I’ve thought about moving locations.”

“Yeah?”

“Or expanding. Maybe open a bed and breakfast somewhere. Something small, nothing fancy.”

“I think you would do quite well.” Walter said.

“Yeah?” She asked and he nodded with a sound. “I’ll put some feelers out, maybe get in touch with a real estate agent. See what’s out there as far as properties go.” There was a moment’s pause. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Walter said and they fell into a companionable silence, punctuated at times by her typing on the keyboard or using the mouse. He looked over as she moved, seeing her rotate her arm at the shoulder and stretching her neck. “You okay?”

“Pulled a muscle in my back and it’s bugging me.” She said and he thought for a moment before setting his phone to the side and sliding off the bed, going up behind her at the computer chair.

“Where?”

“You don’t have to--”

“Where?” He asked again more forcefully.

“High and to the right, by the shoulder blade.” She said and leaned forward as he pushed her shoulder lightly, letting him search for the knot with the pad of his thumb. “Yep, right there, you got it.” He worked his knuckle into the bunched muscle, soothing it with pressure with his thumb before digging into it again, trying to unravel it. “You’re going to put me to sleep.”

“I thought you didn’t sleep.” He asked with a small smile.

“I don’t have to sleep, doesn’t mean I can’t sleep.” She said and made a small noise of surprise as he suddenly picked her up out of the chair with his hands under her arms. “Oh, Jesus. What are you doing?”

“Time for a nap.”

“Walter…”

“Don’t argue with me.” He said and steered her towards the bed. “Get comfortable.”

“You don’t have to--”

“You keep saying that, and yet here I am, now get on the bed and get comfortable.”

“Fine.” Faith said, climbing onto the bed, “Bossy. Respect your damn elders, would you?”

“Act your age and maybe I would.” Walter said and she snorted.

“You damn whipper-snappers,” She started mimicking an old lady's voice, “No respect these days.” She gave a short laugh as he climbed onto the bed behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her back against his chest. “Yeah? Cuddles? Is this what we’re doing?”

“Quiet.” Walter said, “Go to sleep.”

“Yes, Sir.” She said, still giggling. “Later we need to have a conversation.”

“About?” Walter asked, closing his eyes.

“Why you keep sticking around even after you found out what I am and what I’ve done.” She said and he sighed.

“You’re right.” Walter said, “Later.”

#henry cavill #walter marshall #shades #my writing

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notsosilentsister · 1 year

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Letter to a new teacher

Your students looked a bit lost? I had students complain about me to my supervisor because my lesson had been so confusing that they had checked out after 5 minutes. They haven't done that in a while, so I guess, things can get better! Teaching can be hard on the ego; lord knows, it was hard on mine, especially during the first years. Got a lot of mixed feedback from the beginning, definitely cried about it on one occasion or two. But the truth is, finding a style that works for you is just a lot of trial and error, and you get quite a bit of a margin of error in most institutions. The stakes are not actually that high. Take a moment and consider, seriously, what is the worst that could happen?

So I've explained something badly, I've lost the class? Just means I'll have to explain it again. Maybe not the most efficient use of lecture time, but I'm sure some students would need a repetition anyway. If it's a key point, it's never enough to explain it just once. If it's just a footnote, I make a note not to put it on the exam and move on.

Honestly, the mere fact that you're paying attention to whether you've lost your audience already puts you heads and shoulders above some instructors I could think of from my personal experience. Explaining something in a confusing manner is an easy mistake to make, but it's also an easy mistake to correct. The students are bored? Well, some are going to be bored no matter what I do. The subject either holds some intrinsic interest for the student, or it doesn't, and if it doesn't, any bells and whistle I could use to get at least some momentary attention will only take a student so far anyway. It's true that a bad teacher can kill even the most motivated student's interest in a subject, but for that it usually takes somewhat more than just being dull. Also, ultimately every learner has to find their own way to the matter; to truly grasp something, you need to feel a personal resonance. I can tell you why something is interesting to me - I can't tell students why it should be interesting to them, because I don't know all their lifes and all their plans, and even if I did, I can't make that personal connection for them. If they're only here to get a certificate, binge all the knowledge the night before the test, to vomit it up on cue with the full intention to shed it all like so much ballast once they've handed in their exam, I'm not going to stop them, I actually think they should have that choice. (I've always side-eyed the sort of teacher who goes into it with the aspiration "to shape young minds"; I think the young minds should always be free to reject getting shaped. I've certainly had my share of students who clearly walked out of my lessons with perfectly pristine minds, and they should be free to do so - but of course they were clearly extremly bored!). You know which student is certainly not going to be bored? The student who's always on their toes, because they feel their instructor might call on them any minute and tear them apart in front of the whole class. They're not going to actually learn anything either, because the fear takes up too much mental capacity to process new information properly, but they are probably not going to vote that class "best class to nap through" in the yearbook (not gonna lie, I was pretty insulted about that one for a week at least). Obviously I'm not saying you'll either have to bore or terrodrize your students. Obviously good teachers manage to to do neither. But it can be a tricky balance to strike (some students are quite sensitive and feel easily over-taxed, others will feel easily understimulated if you don't challenge them once in a while, it's not always immediately obvious who's which type), and what I'm saying is, there's definitely a worse side to err on, in my humble opinion. You clearly want to see yourself as someone who holds themselves to certain standards. You might be surprised, but so do I. I actually think it's hugely important that teachers do. But these standards can't just be external standards alone - external standards are moving targets, in some ways you always could be doing more, there are some students who will always need more than you're capable of - your standards have to be internal ones, they have to reflect what's most important to you, and they have to be workable for you. My standards for example: Don't make students cry. I made a student cry once and it was the worst, it made every subsequent failure pale in comparision. Don't stand by while a student hurts (insults, mocks, undermines) another. Don't punish students for your own mistakes, always admit when you're wrong. Don't play favourites. These to me are the four mortal sins of teaching, the things that can really cause lasting damage. Dull and confusing is not optimal, but it happens, and the students will survive. These are the things that I need my students to trust me with: That I know my stuff That I give a shit That I don't take things too personally. Maybe they'll sometimes find me dull and confusing, but my experience is, if they trust me with these three things, I can work with them well enough.

#teaching #teaching skills #high school #journal #personal

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spaceleveln · 6 months

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Starfleet's Sinister Ship You Never Heard Of

I always have a bit of mixed feelings around stealth and secrecy in Star Trek.

On the one hand, Starfleet is an arm of the Federation government. The Federation is one government among many in its area. Not all governments are friendly with each other.

I remember getting into it with a guy over the Enterprise episode that reintroduced the Andorians. He was pissed that the Vulcans had no honor. It was dishonorable to lie and spy, using a civilian religious institution to mask a monitoring facility. I thought it was actually one of the better Enterprise episodes that I saw in regards to Vulcans because the Vulcan trait is not honor. The Vulcan trait is Logic.

What is the logical approach to dealing with a violent, emotionally erratic, and more or less technologically and militarily equal species on your border? Logically, you keep an eye on them. You don’t do it in a way that will provoke them. You lie and you spy because that is the most likely way to get the best results of knowing if they are going to strike against you without provoking them to do just that.

Is that the best way to deal with the problem? No. Probably not. But that’s part of what makes Vulcans so intrinsically one of the good guys in TOS vs what is essentially an antagonistic species in Enterprise - where I would in fact agree with him that I don’t like it - that the Vulcans in TOS have used their logic to figure out that they are better when they are part of a mixed solution. They offer extreme value to others in their reliance on logic and ability to give it to others but they also receive extreme value in the offerings of other species and their ability to be safely illogical. The Vulcans as an integral part of a greater whole of the Federation makes sense in the same way as keeping your Logical Mind as an integral part of the greater whole of a Wise Mind. The Vulcans in Enterprise haven’t figured that out yet. And that is the cost of being dominated by Logic at the expense of other factors.

Once the decision has been made for them to be like that, which I didn’t like that much, the course of action that they took does make perfect sense to me. Within that context I like it because it felt true. As Spock says: Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end of it.

On the other hand, no, I didn’t actually like the Vulcans as a whole in Enterprise (I didn’t care that much for Enterprise as a whole if I’m being completely honest) because I also wanted them to be one of the good guys. For me, part of the essence of Star Trek is that “WE” can be better. WE might factually just be the human species but the fiction of Star Trek up to Enterprise made it very clear that Vulcans were metaphorically part of US. WE not only can be better, improve ourselves, and outgrow our flaws, WE can and will take that as our purpose. WE will improve to the point where that can be our goal and we have made so much progress that our potential for that is baked into us AND we can start helping others to improve as well.

While there are obviously good stories to be told earlier along that path, I don’t like the general idea of Vulcans (who are supposed to be somewhat ahead of us as humans) being plainly behind us and so obviously in need of improvement.

I have something of the same feeling around stealth missions, shady operations, and secretive research in the Federation. Section 31 makes perfect sense for the Federation in the same way that putting a Spy facility in a Temple makes perfect sense for Vulcans. Within the context of reality as presented, it is the best available course of action because life is messy and complicated. We need all this stuff to deal with the facts of being a nation state among other nation states because nation states are not people. They can’t have friends, just strategic interests.

At least for now.

That is the current truth. A government has to act as if it is under threat because threats can come at any time from any direction. Their responsibility is preparedness and helping their constituent populace thrive in spite of a dangerous universe.

But is that the best we can do? No. Obviously, we can do a better job. There are many ways to deal with the same facts of life. And if the premise is that WE can and will be better, there is something just a little disappointing in US doing the same stuff we’re doing now. Section 31, lying, cheating, stealthing, secrets, all of that, is the current approach. Not the BETTER approach.

The problem is just that it is hard to imagine a functional better approach. Because on the international stage, however big or small the nations are, there is no way to be purely a lone actor. You’re never the only player in the game and you have to take the others into account.

On the gripping hand, I think some of my favorite Star Trek has dealt with this paradox. Usually by doing as LITTLE of the old, worse approach as possible, doing so with some reluctance, and expressing regret that they haven’t worked out a better way, yet. There is the acknowledgement that there is room for improvement and an active culture of looking for it. It is not that we are perfect, there is no perfect, merely better and striving to improve.

And that’s kind of how I take the Osler. That there is still a need but once we have accepted that, the goal becomes what is the better way to fulfill the need. How do we do a better job ? So the Osler, very much the current way of dealing with things, takes people to the Farm where comfort, care, and expertise are the norms.

For N Space (Space N - I probably really should settle on just one but my brain refuses) it makes sense to me to be in that sort of place. That there are multiple arms and the goal of the whole is to constantly seek to be better and engage in as little of the old (current) behavior as possible. There’s no escaping reality but improvement is the name of the game. So you end up with a profound amount of resources devoted to Diplomacy and Science while Secrets and Clandestine Activities are shunted to the fringes AND thought ill of. Even where they are seen as a necessity, the goal is minimal damage to the self and others. You get the Farm instead of murder or a dungeon/prison.

#star trek #logic vs honor #section 31

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osteocupcake · 1 year

Text

OK, so I understand that white medical doctors, particularly men are trying to target African-Americans, particularly men and to the left we have well it’s complicated. you see orthodox crosses

Or you see, whatever you see, you know what I don’t know what you see, but it doesn’t really matter. Certainly I can see little checker marks on my arm.

I don’t disagree with some of that, but I don’t agree with a lot of it because what about the innocent man? What about the people who are not Sidney?

Jokers, ha, ha, ha

It’s all fun and games until some guy comes over here from Egypt or Greece or wherever the hell that dudes from I don’t know if some island off of wherever Corsica shit

And then they say, do you know Rebecca I don’t know anything about Corsica

Do you know Dr. William J Travis I don’t give a rats ass if you know about Corsica because you are a low class provincial piece of trash

And then Dr. Bryan is like that girl is stalking me. Are you fucking serious? Motherfucker, that girl doesn’t even drive a car how the fuck is that girl stalking you she’s not you’re not that important. Motherfucker you’re a doctor and your job is to be a fucking doctor.

Also, Dr. Brian, you don’t have enough personality for me to try to gather up your little personality bits so that I’ll be the next to you. I don’t need anything from you and your throat chakra it’s being affected because you don’t know how to speak your own goddamn truth.

Dr. Brian wants to be Rebecca Cooper and then say Rebecca Cooper is a narcissist with delusions of grandeur.

That’s not true and he’s picking on somebody who is currently disabled, because really with the cervical radiculopathy which can be proven. Of course, there’s all kinds of pressure and it’s really causing a lot of cranial disturbance.

And I’ll tell you something else Dr. Brian you’re gonna be in heavy heavy hit with the police because I’ll tell you police officers don’t like when people like you lie it is very very insulting. I don’t lie to the police generally you know.

That one cop I said listen here I’m a tourist. He’s like right right I should not have done that. No you really should not have done that but you did that so I have this magical power where I make friends with the bad guy because there are a lot of advantages to doing so well. I’m so glad that you’re in.

We better get these doctors fixed up because the narcissistic abuse is really really heavy officer

Call Dr. Brian, are you serious?

Lol yeah but if I call him that’s harassment right because he’s going to take one phone call and say that that is harassment because he called the police on me. Yeah like there was cranial pressure and I can tell you right now that is the absolute truth.

It’s a lot of nerve damage. It’s like it makes you very flighty. That’s very very frustrating.

But I suppose, if the United States Marines tells me to make that phone call well I’m gonna have to ask a couple of questions first General Tso and cell

John Rigney what do you know about all that shit? Motherfucker, I’m not taking orders from you anyway motherfucker I will sooner take orders from Dr. Ken but even though I’m not gonna take any fucking orders how do you you know what that’s why I am the empress so if Dr. Bryan wants to say I have delusions of grandeur I said you’re just jealous you are!

The cops are like no you’re right Rebecca you’re right that doctor is probably very jealous. Well I can’t clean up the medical crisis by myself and since they don’t wanna treat me for this dang radiculopathy it’s ridiculous right and then the ER doctor wanted to put heat on me and say that I needed to go to a mental institution because I’m a human trafficking victim.

Oh, blow it out your ass hole, Dr., so-and-so fuck you jealous whores

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tainbocuailnge · 3 years

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I'm really enjoying reading through all your musings on Oberon-Vortigern. A penny for your thoughts, what do you think Oberon would be feeling if when he was summoned post LB6, he ended up summoned Chaldea during Arc 1 during Goetia shenanigans? Any headcanons for potential things he might get up to or do you think he'd take a back seat on purpose?

the main point i'm honed in on with oberon showing up to chaldea during part 1 is that his pre-lb6 summoning line has him very clearly pretend to be the cheerful oberon, but even so his actual myroom lines are notably more rude than he is while acting as oberon in lb6 itself. his line for shakespeare stands out most but it also shows in how sarcastic he is about medb, or the way he keeps guda at a distance in his later bond lines. the reason oberon decides to come to chaldea is because, even if he can't admit it to himself, the people here have proven themselves "capable of loving the twisted oberon" and he wants to continue to be a part of that. even though he won't let guda know about vortigern until they find out themselves, he still feels comfortable enough around them to be a little more lax with his fairy king persona, probably without even realizing it.

there's a lot about the singularities that would hit pretty personal for oberon. by definition they're fabricated pieces of history, and until babylon we're told that nothing that happens in them will have any lasting effects on true history. once a singularity is resolved it will fade without a trace, like the meaningless midsummer dreams oberon represents. but guda and mash refuse to let them disappear without meaning. even if there's no consequences to leaving people to suffer or die, and no reward for struggling to help them, they will struggle to help them. even if the dream fades its meaning remains, even if all of it will be undone it will still have mattered. oberon already saw this mentality in action in lb6, but here is where he sees them develop it in the first place. guda and mash don't believe there is meaning because they're naive to the cruelty of the world. they believe there is meaning because time and time again they will reject the cruelty of the world. they're proven right in this when it turns out in babylon that the lives they saved indeed mattered after all.

within the confines of the role of "the fairy king who has come to help chaldea" oberon doesn't have much choice but to enthusiastically lend his aid in restoring the human order, but i don't think he'd be particularly annoyed about that. he already fulfilled his purpose in destroying fairy britain so he doesn't have any reason to want to sabotage chaldea, and as doomsday device he's probably particularly well suited to the destruction of singularities. more importantly, this is a lie of being a genuine hero convincing enough as to almost become real. i imagine that while trekking through singularities the mask will never come off, but guda is perceptive and will be able to tell that it is there. the closest it comes to slipping would be... not camelot, though i think the situation there would still have him riled up enough to approach breaking character. but the combination of meeting kingu and dodging around merlin in babylon is what's going to actually trip him up enough to show vortigern's personality exactly once.

oberon has fairy eyes, so he will be able to tell roman's secret at a glance. most servants can instinctively tell roman has something to do with the situation somehow and are needlessly hostile to him for that reason, so i think the juiciest way to handle this would be to have oberon be the only person besides da vinci who vouches for roman's trustworthiness. a favor from one liar to another. holmes has eyes that see the truth in a different way, so the encounter in the atlas institute would be juicy as fuck too.

during part 1.5, while chaldea is doing cleanup and preparing to decommission its servants, fairy king oberon holds a tea party for his master. he says, if you ever run into me on a mission, i'll definitely help you out. but I'm a troublesome guy, so don't put too much faith in me, okay? and guda responds with no, i'm sure you'll be my ally until the end.

#duelsoul #king of asks #dunky donut

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yanderecandystore · 3 years

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hellu, can I request how would Delinquents, teachers, and bullies react to female reader pepper-sprayed the twins for self-defense when they try to beat up reader?

Hello, it's been a while, I'm sorry it took so long- I've been dealing with a lot of school assignments and I can't lie that I have frequent breakdowns over this-

I'll try and upload the requests that I already have and see if I should open up for requests again, or leave it be closed until the waves of work I need to do gets less overwhelming.

I hope y'all are doing great, stay safe everyone.

I'll make this a very short scenario boo.

TW: this is basically a civil war at this point- // for each pair, I'll add a different context (since technically the delinquents aren't from the same institution as the bullies) // female reader // bullying // self defense // anxiety // bullying (verbal and physical) // mentions of stalker behavior and brief mentions of distrust and paranoia

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Triple Spice combo [Yandere!Teachers / Yandere!Delinquents / Yandere!Bullies x F!Reader - Scenario]:

🎇Let me set the stage for a quick sec!🎇

So I'll explain what will happen- This is basically a post with three different timelines, each one based on each character type you're more interested in (example: you want some sour delinquents? You can follow the delinquent timeline and see how they react). Each follows almost similar circumstances, but still a bit differently to be able to fit for each individual timeline.

Come with me boo cause this one is long!

🎆: 🍒Bully's Timeline🍭

You have been the target of bullying for some weeks now, ever since you crossed some rich kids while going to your college. Unfortunately for you, they seem to be heading to the same location as you, apparently they also studied there- Although it should have been quite obvious. You're not the type to confront people physically, and you don't really feel like capable of fighting people of on your own, but because with their constant presence in your life you started to feel the need to get yourself prepared for what was going to come- Especially since you didn't feel like you could count on anyone.

You bought pepper spray in hopes of being able to stop your tormentors from continuing with their sick game.

That's when the incident happened, you were minding your own business when they came looking for trouble. You took the opportunity to finally put a stop on this by spraying their eyes with it.

✳️🍒Bullies🍭:

→ Alexandra Coldwell:

It was so fast and so painful that she couldn't even understand what just happened- Like- How dare you?! How fucking dare you?!! You think this is funny? This wasn't supposed to happen at all!

"- AAAAH!- what?- OH MY GOD-" Alexandra wasn't able to even finish her sentence, the pain was too much for her to handle. As she dropped to the ground trying to clean her eyes out, she couldn't help but feel confused as to what had even happened.

How could you do something so cruel to her?? Yes, she followed you, bullied you, made rumours about you, pulled your hair a couple of times and maybe she did throw insults towards you- But she didn't try to blind you!!

The worst part isn't even the humiliation she is going through, it's the fact you thought you would be able to pull a stunt like this and go away without any scars- She is so, absolutely livid by your stupidity.

Alexandra knows you must be liking this- And you know what? Enjoy your last free moments cause she will make sure you'll pay for it. She'll make sure to have a proper revenge under her sleeve, a proper punishment for harming someone like her in public.

Darling, darling, I hope you start looking behind your back from now on, never know what could happen when the person who is obsessed with you is just as insanely pissed off as they're madly in love with you.

→ Adrien Coldwell:

It was so fast and so painful that he couldn't even understand what just happened- Like- How dare you?! How fucking dare you?!! You think this is funny? This wasn't supposed to happen at all!

"- What- Oh my God I'm DYING!-" Adrien would be a lot more dramatic about it, even if he can articulate in great detail how much it hurts. In his panicked state, he started trying to wipe the substance with his sleeves- Which only helped to spread it more.

How fucking dare you not only hurt his precious eyes but also humiliate him on public like this?! What has gotten into you?? Yeah- I guess he did say hurtful stuff, followed you around to torment you, did throw stuff at you- But ya know- He didn't try to take your eyeballs out!?? Now that he thinks about it, he probably should have.

Adrien has a very weird view on your "relationship"- He thinks you're above him and so he must push you down, he loves you but being gentle with you will leave you to pull this kind of shit.

You're probably laughing to yourself now, the man is temporarily blind and you are laughing at him, you're somehow worse than he thought.

Still, he'll make you pay for it, don't worry about it dearest- You're fucked regardless. You tried to stand against him and now sadly he'll have to put you in your place again. Don't worry, it won't be so early- He still needs to prepare his plan.

🎆: 🍎Teacher's Timeline📕

You have been the target of bullying for some weeks now, ever since you crossed some rich kids while going to your college. Unfortunately for you, they seem to be heading to the same location as you, apparently they also studied there- Although it should have been quite obvious. You're not the type to get physical when it comes to defending yourself, but you felt that you still needed to do something about it- You talked with the only person you could trust in this moment, since they were your mentor and you needed some guidance from someone that could potentially help you solve this out.

Their idea was to be able to personally see the harassment happening so they could have visual proof of who is doing what to you, hopefully being able to expel the ones causing you harm.

They personally gave you pepper spray in hopes that if they aren't near you to help you, you can at least defend yourself in some way.

That's when the incident happened, you were minding your own business when they came looking for trouble. You took the opportunity to finally put a stop on this by spraying their eyes with it.

✳️🍎Teachers📕:

→ Matthew Robinson:

Although you thought to be in a situation where no one would be able to help you- Causing you to use your only item of self-defense- That couldn't have been further from the truth, as Matthew has made sure to pay close attention to you after you came by and ask for his guidance. It was a call for help and he would have been a horrible mentor to not make sure you'll follow his instructions, and it seemed like you did perfectly fine.

He got to be present to not only see the ones causing you harm, but also to see how well you're able to take care of yourself. He was going to intervene as soon as he saw them come closer, but you managed to stop them all by yourself- Honestly he is very proud of you for being able to stand your ground.

Since Matthew was able to see them starting the aggression just like many other witness surrounding the scene, he felt like he had an argument strong enough to be able to properly punish your bullies- Of course he is aware that the Coldwells have a reputation for getting staff members fired for trying to reprimanding them, but honestly he has been inside this place long enough already.

Getting fired isn't his problem, his problem is not being able to give them what they deserve for frightening you, and even worse than that: He needed to make sure you would stay safe in and out of college- You came to him saying they were following you outside of your classes, so of course he'll be worried for your safety.

After expelling the Coldwells, Matthew will just need to find a way of keeping you safe and under his surveillance, you may need more guidance after all, and it would be extremely worrying to not have you by his side. He just needs to plan out a better schedule for you two, one where he can be more present in your life after you're done with your classes.

I wonder what plan comes to his mind.

→ Madeline Allen:

Although you thought to be in a situation where no one would be able to help you- Causing you to use your only item of self-defense- That couldn't have been further from the truth, as Madeline has made sure to pay close attention to you after you came by and ask for her guidance. Madeline has been following you while you walked through the school's halls as she recorded every interaction you had with any of the other students. After you called her for help she entered full protection mode, she was set on getting your tormentors expelled.

However, Madeline hasn't been inside the institution to be able to earn the trust of the other teachers, or even the principal themselves- She needed some evidence and better witness testimony than those from students who were terrified of getting in trouble with the bullies around this place. You could say she had a guess as to who could be causing you trouble but she wouldn't be allowed to take action unless she could prove their identity and involvement in bullying you.

She gave you the pepper spray hoping you would feel less worried, to feel calmer in knowing you had not only something that you could use against them but also to symbolize how she would be there for you if you needed. Seeing you using it for the first time as you spray in the eyes of the culprits made her realize that she was in fact correct. Of course it's them, right?

If there is something wrong happening in Amaryllis, you can almost always pin it for being the Coldwell's fault. Bullying it's probably the least surprising thing this little demons have been accused of- Still, their rein over this institution and your worried little mind ends today, she doesn't care if she lost her job or if they try ruining her life by blackmailing her and such-

They can try but she is pretty sure they won't have any luck finding her, what can I say, she is good at burning evidence. What worries her though it's what will happen to you if they ever try to take their frustrations out on you again. She can't allow that to happen, you'll end up getting hurt and she'll feel awful if it was because of her interference in the case.

You need her help after all, right? You did come to her asking for guidance, and clearly you know nothing about physical self-defense- You clearly need someone to take care of you dearest. She needs to plan this out carefully, not only so the twins aren't allowed in school's grounds but to hopefully be able to guide you even if she is not your teacher anymore. But how could she have you near her everyday after classes?

I wonder what plan comes to her mind.

🎆: 🍋Delinquent's Timeline🐍

You have been the target of bullying for some weeks now, ever since you crossed some rich kids while going to your college. Fortunately for you, they didn't seem to go the same college as you did- Yet what you should have known was that nothing in life could have been so simple, you would still see them again over and over again after that incident. You started to feel anxious knowing that they were probably stalking you to know exactly when and where to find you, and since you already have to deal with going to a horrible institution and fearing for your own safety everyday.

You bought pepper spray so you could defend yourself not only from your stalkers but also from any possible classmate that could end up trying something weird with you.

That's when the incident happened, you were minding your own business when they came looking for trouble. You took the opportunity to finally put a stop on this by spraying their eyes with it.

✳️🍋Delinquents🐍:

→ Jackson Macnee:

He doubts you noticed that he was there when that happened, he doubts that you even care if he is staring at you at all- He always thought you were probably too scared of him to even tell him to stop, most people aren't scared of his appearance but are at least aware of his title, so they at least respect the path he walks. He is already used to this.

But let me tell you, to see the Coldwells come so near his territory seemed pretty interesting at first- Until he discovered why they were dumb enough to come here. He didn't know you were being bullied, let alone by these brats- He did notice you had changed your behavior recently, although he didn't pay any attention to it because he thought you were just getting accustomed with the way things work around Saint's Bernard hellhole of a place.

He was hoping that maybe you were just having issues with settling in- It is a rough place after all, and although he wishes deep down to be able to help you feel stronger he still feels like he shouldn't make you do something you don't want to. If you wished to talk to him, you should just go straight to him (even if he is aware of how terrifying that could be).

However, Jack was so far from the truth. His assumptions were confirmed fake after he saw the twins Coldwell treat you like he treated him- It was unbearable to watch, it was like he was seeing his past collide with his present self, you were reminding him of all the things he hated about himself, while also bringing his blood to boil in a desperate need to help you out. Yet he didn't need to do anything about it, you managed to defend yourself on your own.

It wasn't as rewarding to watch as he wanted it to be, but you sure did crack their ego pretty badly- He shouldn't have doubted you, after all he has been stalking you for so long, he should have known what you were capable of doing. Still, he doesn't trust the Coldwells enough to just let them run away like that, they would probably come back soon.

In the meantime, this should be a good excuse to get to talk with you, right? You clearly need some actual training, some flimsy pepper spray bottle isn't going to stop them from coming back. I hope you're ready to be trained by a lovesick delinquent, he won't be soft until he knows you can stand on your own.

→ Jannette Sartorius

She doubts you noticed that she was there when that happened, she doubts that you even care if she is staring at you at all- She always thought you were probably too scared of her to even tell her to stop, most people are scared of her. She is trying to get used to it.

Janette thinks she has every reason to observe you from afar, you're beautiful and you seem too precious to be in a place as horrible as this one, it must suck a lot for you to be somewhere like this-Seeing people like her.

She considered calling you to join her gang, but she is sure that you'll probably deny the offer- Physical confrontation was never your thing right? She can respect that.

Although you don't talk with her, or even interact with the other students at all, she did notice you were acting a bit more- Reclusive these days. Something was wrong, and sadly she would have to find out about it way too late.

Janette didn't know the twins personally, she knew they were rich and famous but- Yeah, she didn't really care about knowing anything about them, they're just some pretty faces amongst the others in the fashion industry. She does envy them a little bit, but tries to avoid anything relating to them since she feels self-conscious looking at their pictures. Now she has a new reason to hate their porcelain faces, they were stalking you.

They were stalking you and taunting you, and if you didn't do anything to stop them she would have already jumped in. They were alone, and honestly she doubts they have any idea of how to go one on one with someone- There is no way these brats have any experience in fighting, right?

Well, she didn't get to know that since they ran away after you sprayed their faces with pepper spray, clever girl.

She knows this is probably not the end of this, they did threaten to come back and hurt you for defending yourself. But you know- She doesn't plan on letting that happen, not again. Consider yourself lucky cause now you just got a new best friend who I set on protecting you.

Is there something wrong with that? Aren't you happy with being her friend? Well, you could just go to "girlfriends" if that's what you want- She wouldn't mind it at all.

Janette prefers to take care of you without you having to watch her beat someone's ass- But she could teach you a few things if you wished to, hey, spending time with someone so cool it's always nice, so of course she'll take every chance she can to spend as much time with you as possible.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

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ieattaperecorders · 3 years

Note

“I’m rambling again aren’t I?” and “Is that okay with you?” for the jmart prompt please :)

Cannon compliant, 1.4k, set at the end of S4. Prompt from here.

---

Cash only, no IDs, change directions at least twice. That was what Basira advised, so they were taking a roundabout route - train to bus to train again, a walk to another station, and then a third train to the outskirts of a town near a village near an isolated cabin. Someplace to hide.

Each time they stopped Jon would grab maps and brochures to stuff in his pockets, studying them carefully during quiet moments. Something about being prepared to act as if they were headed to a different destination if anybody asked.

Nobody did ask, and in any case Jon would have probably looked weird and suspicious, throwing in needless details about whatever place they were meant to be visiting. But it was painfully endearing, the way he poured over them, concentrating like he was prepping for an exam. One hand holding the brochure, the other usually clasped over Martin's or pawing at the fabric of his sleeve.

At one point, Jon's hand absently came to rest on Martin's knee. He flinched -- surprised at the unfamiliar contact, at the intimacy. Then he covered Jon's hand with his own, keeping careful around the edge of the wide, angry scar Jude Perry had left.

It had been so long since anyone touched Jon gently. It had been so long since anyone touched Martin at all.

* * *

There'd been a quick, fearful trip to Martin's flat so he could pack a bag. Jon barely let go of him the entire time, as if scared that he might still disappear. (Maybe he was scared. Maybe he was right to be.) He frowned when, after only a few minutes, Martin zipped up a small bag of clothes and toiletries and said that he was ready.

"You . . . may want to look around a bit," he said softly. "See if there's anything else you want to take. We might not be able to come back here."

"Thought the idea was to get in and out quickly. And shouldn't we be traveling light?"

"We can spare another minute. Besides . . . ." he bit his lip. "You might want to keep a few things. Even if they don't seem important. You may end up missing them if you lose this place."

Martin glanced around. The truth was he'd been living sparsely for a while. Bit by bit, he'd boxed up and donated most of his personal things over the last several months. It had just felt right.

(Jon's flat was long gone. He only had the small satchel he'd been carrying, and a plastic bag of thrift store clothes that Basira had gotten for him.)

He ended up grabbing a few books, a notebook he hadn't written in for a while, a couple of cheap pens, and a scarf that he'd always liked. The small carved box his grandfather had given him ages ago went in the bag too -- he'd never found anything to put in it, but he'd kept it all these years and it still smelled pleasantly like cedar.

Despite Jon's insistence they could spare another minute, he spent the entire time Martin packed bouncing restlessly on his heels, his gaze flicking back and forth between the windows.

"God, it's cold in here," he whispered.

". . . Is it?"

"Yes. Colder than outside . . . noticeably so," Jon looked at him sadly. "You can't feel it?"

Martin shook his head. He hadn't noticed.

"Suppose I'm used to it," he said.

Gravely, Jon nodded. He took Martin's hand and squeezed. Martin held back for a moment, then pointed out it was hard to pack with one hand, and Jon awkwardly let go. Another minute and they were done.

As they made for the door, Martin noticed Jon shivering and thought Basira ought to have gotten him a heavier coat.

"Hold on."

He made a detour to the closet, grabbed one of his thicker jackets and held it out. It would swim on Jon, but at least it was something.

"Dunno if it works on supernatural cold spots, but it'll be cold in Scotland too," he explained. "You'll want more than a windbreaker."

Jon stared at him for a moment, then swallowed heavily and nodded. As he put it on, folding the sleeves back so his hands would fit out, Martin noticed him wiping at his eyes.

Was he tearing up? Why? It was only a jacket, one Martin was probably going to lose anyway.

Jon held his hand all the way to the train station.

* * *

They didn't talk about the Lonely on the train. They didn't talk about any of it there, not the Institute, the entities, the attack. It was all too risky if they were overheard.

Instead, Jon talked about the places they weren't going, the things he read about as they went. Describing historical points of interest or natural features, sometimes adding a jarringly morbid fact that Martin was sure he hadn't gotten from the brochures. He suspected part of it was an attempt to engage him, as Martin found himself going long stretches saying next to nothing.

It was nice, though, listening to him chatter on as if they were out on holiday. Sitting there with the landscape going by, the rumble of the train around them and Jon talking about some landmark or another, Martin could pretend they were just out seeing the sights. Traveling on their own time, without a care in the world.

As it got late into the night, he realized the train car they were in was empty. It was the last one that ran, and there hadn't been many on it to begin with, so it wasn't much of a surprise. But with no one else there, they had a chance to speak more freely.

"Jon?" Martin nudged him, interrupting his description of a stone burial site a few miles down the line.

"Hmm?" Jon started, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry. I'm rambling, aren't I?"

"It's not that. Was just thinking . . . I know the plan is to keep moving, but we'll have to wait for the morning train anyway. Wouldn't make a difference if we got a cheap hotel room or something tonight, would it?"

"Oh . . . no, I don't think it would," he shuffled through some papers in his lap, peering at the train schedule. "Actually, in that case we may want to take the next stop, rather than going to the end of the line. There's a motel near the station that could be perfect. It's cash only, and the only security camera is over the safe."

"Did you See that?"

"Not deliberately. There's just, ah . . . " he winced, "been a lot of really gruesome murders there."

"Ah. Right." Martin raised an eyebrow. "Are we going to get gruesomely murdered if we stay there?"

"Well it's not a service they provide."

"But we do have murderers after us."

"True . . . and I don't think this place would be much protection if they caught up. But the same could be said about a bench outside the train station," Jon shrugged. "And I don't believe it's supernatural, just a bit shady. Which is probably what we want at the moment."

Martin nodded. Then, with a smirk, asked "does it have a pool?"

"Yes. And so many people have drowned in it."

". . . Hmm."

Jon's deadpan look broke into a smile. "I've no idea if there's a pool. Probably not."

"Pfff," Martin reached an arm out over his shoulders, and Jon leaned into the embrace, smiling. "The Beholding didn't think to list amenities, then? Not even an evil laundry service or, like, a continental breakfast that eats you?"

"Thankfully not."

"Good enough for me, then."

He felt Jon chuckle against him and leaned back, yawning loudly, thinking about how nice it would be to lie down in a bed. Jon shifted a little and sighed, looking at him with a smile.

"I love you," he said. Soft and warm, as if he'd said it a thousand times before. As if it was natural and obvious and easy.

Martin must have gone noticeably tense, or maybe his expression changed, because Jon's eyes widened and he looked down, fidgeting. Worried he'd made a mistake.

"Is that, ah . . . okay with you?" he added weakly.

Almost dizzy with it all, Martin let out a breath that turned into an unsteady laugh. He felt tears pricking at his eyes, and he squeezed Jon tighter.

"Y-yeah," he whispered, "yeah Jon. S'good."

#Anonymous #tma fanfic #jonmartin #tma

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years

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romeo must die

this one-shot is based on the song Romeo Must Die by Gabrielle Aplin, I highly recommend listening to it! shout out to @eugeniaslongsword for introducing me to it :) i even borrowed some lyrics from it haha. it is also inspired by the entire playlist I made, "being treated badly by someone doesn't make you love them more"

content warnings: past toxic/unhealthy relationship, the uncomfy 6-year age gap between Alastair and Charles

Masterlist | Read on AO3

"Alastair, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"

Alastair looked up from what he was working on. He was in the library of the Institute, along with Cordelia, Thomas, James, Matthew, and Christopher. They were searching for any clue as to how Lucie had done what she’d done or what Tatiana and Belial were planning. Alastair wasn't entirely sure how he got roped into the ordeal, but it seemed as though Thomas suggested him as an extra set of eyes, and Cordelia latched onto the idea.

"No," he said curtly, returning to his reading.

"Excuse me?"

"I said no. I'm quite busy at the moment." Alastair spoke under his breath, not wanting to draw the others' attention. How many times had Charles barked the same words at him, swatting him away, hacking away at paperwork or planning his next step in his career? The words sat bittersweet in his chest.

"Surely you could spare a few moments."

"I certainly could. But I do not wish to." Charles had a way of getting into his head and twisting his words and his feelings. It was not an experience he wished to revisit. It was better here, with an audience. It had also been easier in the infirmary, knowing that he held all of the power. His father had made him feel the same way, he thought bitterly. He understood now that what he'd done at school was not only to protect himself from the bullies. He wanted to reclaim the power stolen from him by his father; he wanted for once in his life to hold power himself. He hadn't yet come to the realization that holding that kind of power did nothing but harm. It was of no use, anyways, because it didn't matter how much he perfected his tongue and his wit on the other students at the Academy, he was never able to use it when it counted. Not with Elias, and not with Charles.

"It's fine if you need to take a few minutes, Alastair,” Cordelia said gently. All of the eyes in the room had come to rest on the two of them. Now he wished he’d spoken louder.

“It’s alright, Charles was just leaving.”

He had hoped that Charles would give up and leave knowing that everyone was watching him, but he was determined. He grabbed Alastair’s arm. “It’ll just be-”

Alastair stood, but pulled his arm away. “Don’t touch me.”

In a flicker, Alastair saw it: the anxiety began to set in. Charles began to realize that he would not be able to play his usual tricks. “Why are you acting like this?”

“I believe I was quite clear when I told you I don’t wish to speak with you. You’re the one who can’t let this go.”

“Must you act so childish?”

He rolled his eyes. “Must you always call me childish for thinking for myself instead of catering to your every whim?”

“I don’t understand. You said we were fine.”

Alastair sighed. Perhaps for a moment, he thought that was true. For just a second, he thought there was a world where he and Charles could be friends. But Alastair had decided that he would no longer call people who hurt him his friends. “Yes, well, I lied. I wanted to let you down gently, but it’s clear to me now that it must be spelled out for you. How shall I put this? You and I are past our dancing days, Charles.”

“But-” He stammered, searching for words. “What happened with Grace Blackthorn wasn’t my fault.”

“Maybe not. But what of Miss Bridgestock? Am I to pretend that what happened with Miss Blackthorn was not the same as what happened two years earlier?”

“You told me many times that you took no issue with that, that you understood.”

“I understood what you told me, which we both know was never the full truth. I was a sixteen year old desperate for your affections, and the fact that you truly believe I never had any issue with your arrangement is proof that you never genuinely cared about me or listened to my thoughts. I told you in the infirmary that this wasn’t your fault because I thought it’d ease the pain, but I lied. And I don’t have time to sit here and watch you cry over it.”

Alastair wished that watching Charles become flustered would have been more enjoyable. Instead, all he wanted was for this to end. “You- you’re different than when we met. You’ve changed. You’re cruel and callous, I don’t understand how I could not see how heartless you were until now. You are everything that everyone claims you to be. How am I to even know what the truth is when it comes from your lips?”

There was a time when those words would have cut deeply into him, eating at his every insecurity, but Charles mistakenly assumed that Alastair was the same person he was last July, with the same insecurities. “When we met, I was fourteen years old. I’ve grown up, and it is time for you to do the same. It’s been six months, Charles. You need to stop writing me. If that makes me heartless, I don’t care. And if you wish to know the truth, the truth is that the moment you leave here, if I never see your face again, it still will not be long enough.”

Charles stared at him for a long while, unable to find a proper retort. In the end, it was Matthew who stepped in. “Charles, I believe it’s time for you to go.”

He obliged, finally turning to leave the library. As he began to walk away, however, Alastair knew that he was not finished. His heart beat a little bit faster at the thought of such a confession, and faster again when he realized who would hear it, but there was no piece of parting with Charles that he wished to regret.

“Wait,” he said. Charles froze and turned to look at him. “I know it’s unlikely that you have it in the cold depths of your soul to care, but let the record show that I would have given you everything. I would have given you my life, all of the love and trust that I had to give, and then I would have given more. And you gave me nothing. So the next time you’re pondering my heartlessness, you ought to wonder what that means for you.”

Finally satisfied, Alastair did not wait for Charles to turn and leave again to return to his seat and pick his reading back up. He waited for a moment, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of everyone’s eyes on him. He stood once more, opening his mouth to speak, but the words were caught in his throat. Instead, he walked out of the library in silence.

Finding the nearest balcony, he attempted to steady his breath.

“Are you alright?” He heard from behind him. Thomas. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

He shook his head. “I just needed some air.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Alastair sighed. He backed up against the window and slid down to the floor of the balcony. “I know- I know that everyone sort of knew already, but… by the Angel, I feel so pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic,” Thomas told him, sitting down beside him.

“You were right, of course you were. I was so… taken with him, back in Paris. I couldn’t see him for what he was. I was so naive, so foolish. I just- After everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve been through, how did I not realize-”

Thomas put his hand on Alastair’s knee. “You wanted to see the best in him. After everything you’d seen and been through, you wanted to believe that there were still good and honest people in the world. And there are. I’m sorry that he was not one of them, but that does not make you foolish or pathetic. It makes you… kind.”

“I bet you’d never imagined describing me as such before.”

“It seems you’re full of surprises,” Thomas teased. “But that’s not true. I always saw the kindness in you, even back at school, when you did everything to keep it hidden.”

“As you can see, my ‘kindness’ has never gotten me very far.”

“You were out of practice. Following me on my reckless nighttime patrols, that was kind. More than kind. I don’t think I ever thanked you for that, for risking your life to protect mine.”

“I didn’t do it for gratitude.”

“And yet I owe you mine nonetheless.”

“I can’t go back in there, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can tolerate you and your friends hating me just fine. But if any of your friends give me even an ounce of pity- well, we’ll see just where the limits of my kindness lie, won’t we?”

Thomas stood up, offering Alastair his hand. “Pity comes from those who cannot even begin to understand what you’ve experienced. For what it’s worth, I don’t think my friends will pity you. But if they do, you can ignore them. For Lucie.”

Alastair sighed and allowed Thomas to pull him to his feet. “Fine. Let’s get back to reading.”

“Speaking of reading, do you have the entirety of Shakespeare’s canon memorized, or only the lines you believe may pop up in conversation?”

“Excuse me?”

“‘For you and I are past our dancing days,’ it’s Romeo and Juliet, isn’t it? It’s the only one of his works that I got through.”

Alastair froze. “You haven’t read Hamlet?”

“I tried.”

“Othello? King Lear? Macbeth? Midsummer Night’s Dream?”

He shook his head.

“That’s impossible. And James is friends with you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Wait until my sister finds out you haven’t read Hamlet,” he warned, starting towards the library with urgency in his step.

“Wait, don’t- I just don’t like Shakespeare! What’s so wrong with that?” Thomas’ attempts at reasoning were futile, however, a welcome distraction from all of their recent sorrows finally taking hold.

Thanks for reading!! This was self indulgent af lol. I'm not to sure whether some people only wanted to be tagged in my social media AU, so if that's the case I'm sorry & please tell me!: @stxr-thxif @chaos-and-starlight @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @eugeniaslongsword @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid @writeforjordelia @sapphic-in @thecodexsays @fortheloveofthecarstairs @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @shadowrunner2000 @thewarthatsavedmylife @fair-childd @icouldnotask @shadowhunting-hooligans @melanielocke @clarys-heosphoros @kiwichaeng @lightwoodsimp @thecrimsonsorceresss @theenchanteddreamer @adams-left-hand @yozinha-z @ipromiseiwillwrite @skirtsandsweaters @goodoldfashionednerd

#alastair carstairs #charles fairchild #if you're a charles apologist just block me #thomas lightwood #thomastair #tlh #the last hours #cw toxic relationship #coi spoilers #fanfiction #fanfic

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bytheangell · 3 years

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Elle’s 2020-21 Bingo Masterlist

The Seelie Realm - Seeking Peace | Jace/Meliorn

Jace feels the grounding connection of the Alliance Rune fade away he finds himself drawn to the Seelie Realm, and to the one person who can help him keep from losing it entirely.

Shadowhunter!Magnus - Chosen Family | Magnus & Ragnor & Catarina

“Three go in, three go out,” Magnus, Ragnor, and Catarina say together. “Let’s do this,” Magnus adds, facing the small nest of ravener demons with a wicked grin on his face.

Hunt - A Very Successful Hunt | Clary/Isabelle

When Clary shows up at the Institute, Izzy falls for her hard and fast. Unfortunately, a few mixed signals leave each of them thinking their pining is one-sided until they're finally forced to talk about the unspoken tension between them.

Rivals - Take My Hand, Wreck My Plans | James/Cordelia

Cordelia does her best to sift through her conflicted thoughts and emotions after seeing James and Grace together.

Drunk Confessions - Want the Same Things | Jace/Simon

After Clary kisses Jace in the Seelie Realm, Simon can hardly blame her - after all, if he were in her position he would've kissed Jace, too. He just doesn't mean to admit that to Jace.

Enemies to Lovers - Had to Go Too Far to Know How Far to Go | Jace/Andrew

After growing closer to, and rather fond of, Andrew Underhill, Jace feels particularly betrayed to discover that Andrew's the one turning him in for sneaking out all the time.

Vampire!Alec - Married to the Dark | Alec & Simon (background Malec)

“You’re doing this tonight, aren’t you?” “Simon…” “Don’t lie to me, Alec. Those were goodbyes.” Simon doesn’t phrase it as a question. “Yeah, they were,” Alec answers anyway. “Obviously, I don’t expect you to be the one to do it. I’ll find someone else, just don’t tell the others.” “That’s the thing,” Simon says. “I don’t want to, but I also don’t want you to go to anyone else. If you are going to go through with this… I’ll do it.”

Meet Ugly - I’ve Never Been a Natural (All I Do Is Try Try Try) | Simon/Raphael

“What gave you that impression?” Simon shakes his head. It’s beginning to dawn on him that Raphael doesn’t remember, and he isn’t sure if that makes it better or worse. “You told me, the first time we met. The night you… uh…” Simon really doesn’t want to say ‘the night you kidnapped me’, given everything they’ve worked through to put that rather unfortunate first meeting behind them. Simon clears his throat instead. “When I wouldn’t sit still, you said you really hated fidgeting.” --- Simon's kept that one tidbit in the back of his mind the whole time he's known Raphael, and is usually a lot better about keeping still than he's being that night.

Two Person Love Triangle - Truth Be Told | Magnus/Alec

When Magnus is tasked with getting close to Alec in order to get information on his father Robert, he doesn't expect to like Alec even half as much as he does. And that, well, that's definitely a problem now.

Shadowhunter!Simon - Love Me When It Hurts (1/3) | Jace/Simon, endgame Raphael/Jace/Simon

Jace isn't ready to lose Simon when he dies - and the vampire blood in Simon's system means he doesn't need to. But will the complications of Simon's new existence as a vampire be more than the couple can overcome, especially when they find Raphael ingrained into their lives more than any of them were ready for?

Children of the Night - Love Me When It Hurts (2/3) | Jace/Simon , endgame Raphael/Jace/Simon

Simon returns as a vampire and struggles to strike a comfortable balance between his old and new lives.

Getting Back Together - Love Me When It Hurts (3/3) | Raphael/Jace/Simon

Raphael does his best to help Simon and Jace reconnect, and in the process finds himself growing more fond of Jace than he ever intended on. Not that it matters, because once Simon and Jace are back together he'll be out of the picture entirely... right?

Rune Ceremony - All I’ve Ever Known Is How to Hold My Own | Kit/Ty

Kit can't help but feel as if something - or someone - is missing from an important moment in his life.

Forbidden Love - Forbidden Feelings | Magnus/Alec, past Magnus/Camille

It occurs to Magnus that perhaps, somewhere along the way during his very extensive life, something got a little turned around.

Because the love that’s supposed to feel ‘forbidden’ to him - the sort of love that feels like he’s tempting fate, like he knows he shouldn’t want it as much as he does - should probably be the ‘love’ (if it was ever truly ‘love’) from the manipulative woman in front of him.

It certainly shouldn’t be the kind and compassionate love from a Shadowhunter who stops to ask if a raincheck is okay while being ordered into a potentially life-or-death demon attack debriefing.

Potions Gone Wrong - Just Enough to Get By | Magnus/Alec, Magnus & Jace

When Alec gets attacked by a rogue warlock, Jace goes against direct orders to contact Magnus to try and save his injured and slowly dying parabatai.

Free Space - Making Time for What Matters | Luke & Alec, background Malec & Luke/Maryse

Alec and Luke both have a bad habit of overworking, often at the expense of their personal lives. At least they're getting better at looking out for each other, even when they aren't looking out for themselves.

Long Distance - Go the Distance | Lorenzo/Andrew

Andrew is more than a little worried about he and Lorenzo spending a month apart so early in their relationship, but it leaves them with some valuable lessons about communication.

Arranged Marriage - I Don’t Want to Say I (I Want to Say We) | Lorenzo/Andrew, background Malec

When Andrew overhears that Lorenzo - who he's been secretly dating for months now - is going to be forced into an arranged marriage with a shadowhunter, he does the only thing he can: he volunteers.

Shadowhunter!Raphael - Come Around | Raphael/Jace/Simon

Jace wonders if there's more to the frequent requests for him at the New York Institute than meets the eye, and decides to test a theory...

Bodyswap - If You Don’t Belong, Don’t Be Long | Magnus/Alec & Simon/Isabelle

When a potion goes wrong, Magnus and Simon switch bodies. It's up to Magnus to figure out how to fix it, and up to Simon to control Magnus' magic enough to use it in the final steps.

Sex Club - The Right Company | Jace/Simon

Simon makes a joke about Jace and the other leather-clad Shadowhunters that leads to some interesting potentialities he hadn't considered before.

Marriage - Your Happiness is My Own | Gabriel/Cecily

Gabriel arranges a surprise for Cecily on their wedding day.

Traveling - Take Me With You - Jace/Simon

When Jace gets assigned as Simon's bodyguard during his upcoming tour, he certainly doesn't plan on growing as fond of the musician as he does.

Rivals - Take My Hand, Wreck My Plans | James/Cordelia, Cordelia & Matthew

Cordelia does her best to sift through her conflicted thoughts and emotions after seeing James and Grace together.

Best Friends to Lovers - Make This Leap | Clary/Simon

Whatever Simon has to say, she’ll handle it. She’ll be ready. “I’m in love with you.” She isn’t ready for that. --- A Clary POV of Simon's confession of love in 2x08

Proposal - your heart was glass (i dropped it) | Magnus/Alec

After breaking down, Magnus tries to push himself to get through the lovely dinner Alec set up for them... but he quickly realizes this wasn't meant to be a typical dinner date.

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incorrect-pokespe-quotes · 4 years

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Let’s Talk About Norman

I’m going to start off by telling you all something you probably already know: Norman is abusive. I try not to use super strong language on this blog because calling someone abusive / toxic is a pretty big deal, but Norman is an abuser, full stop. Aside from the obvious physical violence though, there’s a lot of emotional trauma he causes Ruby through his actions— this post is mostly going to be talking about Norman’s emotional abuse and how it affects Ruby’s psyche and actions throughout the arc instead of just “oh he punched his son down some stairs” because I think it goes way deeper than that. With that out of the way, the rest of the post is below the cut!

PHYSICAL VIOLENCE

I can’t talk about Ruby and Norman without mentioning this— it’s the most clear cut evidence of his abuse on-panel. He punches his son down the stairs, engages in a high stakes fight with him, and puts him in mortal danger (which Ruby has to save himself from). What I’m concerned with isn’t the actual incidence of violence itself, but rather the emotional baggage that comes with it.

The interesting thing about the Big Fight scene to me is that Norman instigates the conflict. Norman lures Ruby into a “dark and scary building” in the rain and away from others, appears behind him, threatens him, and throws him against a wall. The only thing Ruby had done in that moment is ask his dad how / why he had found him— Norman was the instigator of violence. It is Ruby’s reaction to this immediately violent start that segues into the next Big Thing about their relationship.

ENVIRONMENT OF FEAR

It is obvious from the minute Norman appears on panel that he is intimidating. Multiple characters throughout the arc mention that they are scared of / intimidated by him, but none are more obvious than Ruby. In fact until we reach the scene at the Weather Institute, Norman hasn’t been shown in a positive light at all from Ruby’s perspective. Ruby continuously mentions fear about his father: he imagines his father grabbing him, looking angrily at him, and generally seems to be afraid of him. Ruby expresses worry and concern about the consequences of his father’s anger— and that’s ALL he thinks about. Ruby mentions explicitly that he has seen “Norman’s Dark Side” and tries to hide as soon as he appears. He even shivers at the mere mention of Norman. Ruby’s entire motivation is his fear of his dad, which is bad, obviously.

Every thought about Norman that Ruby has up until the Weather Institute about Norman express fear and stress Norman’s emotional distance. Whether or not Ruby and Norman love each other is not of importance here, what is important is that Ruby has constant worry and anxiety about how Norman will react. His entire motivation at the beginning of the arc is centered around doing things behind Norman’s back and giving him definitive proof of Ruby’s accomplishments— Ruby is so nervous around Norman that he considers communicating to be a risk. This is typical abuse victim behavior and it continues through the arcs. Living under the constant threat of (often violent) punishment has taught Ruby that disagreements and communication in general are dangerous and can spiral into violence very, very quickly— he displays this same fear time and time again.

Quick Aside: As everyone here probably knows, the main conflict in the oras arc is centered around Ruby’s unwillingness to tell Sapphire what is going on for fear of how she will react. Ruby’s hiding of his memory of their confession in the Emerald arc is the same— Ruby refuses to communicate because he is afraid of how Sapphire will react. His main emotional flaw is the fact that he is driven by fear; Norman has shown him there are consequences to communication and Ruby carries this lesson throughout his entire life. He is a victim of abuse and this hampers his ability to communicate and be emotionally vulnerable. He is so caught up in the idea of consequences that he is more than willing to lie or omit the truth to avoid the consequences of talking to people about stressful topics. This is not to say that Ruby’s actions are excusable— he’s still a dick with communication issues, but whether or not Kusaka intended it, Norman’s abuse and its consequences define Ruby’s emotional arc.

ANGER ISSUES

I can’t really talk about the environment of fear that Norman created without talking about his anger issues. He crushes a phone, shoves people out of the way, knocks multiple Pokemon out at once, and otherwise acts aggressively in various situations throughout the arc without any real Reason. As if these hints weren’t enough, we actually get confirmation through Ruby’s mother that Norman “does this often”— and judging by Birch’s reaction, these displays of destructive anger aren’t normal in in-universe. Whether or not there is a violent / strict parenting style within the universe doesn’t matter, because Norman is shown to be uncharacteristically aggressive in comparison to other adults in the series. Judging by Ruby’s reaction at the Weather Institute, he implies that his type of violence towards him isn’t uncommon; he seems almost resigned to it.

To wrap up this section: Norman’s aggressiveness is atypical even in-universe, he is shown to be unable and unwilling to curb his violent anger, and this creates an environment of fear among his family that permanently impacts Ruby’s ability to communicate effectively with others.

PART 2

DISCLAIMER: This is where things get… dicey. Everything I’ve mentioned previously is rooted in the actual drawings and actions of the characters or overarching themes / problems. This next part however focuses on dialogue. It is almost impossible to truly understand the tone of each line without being a fluent Japanese speaker (which I am not) so instead I’m going to use Viz and CY to the best of my ability for this section. I’m not going to extrapolate this to Kusaka’s intentions, since without the original work that’s nearly impossible, but I can at least talk about the way these come off in English.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Admittedly, Viz is the worst about this. They constantly hype Norman up and excuse his behavior, outright censoring some of the physical and emotional abuse. Viz absolutely mangling the tone of RS, however, is a post for another time.

Because Norman actually speaks to Ruby at length a grand total of twice times in the RS arc, we can break down his actions into these two instances: the first is at the weather institute and the second is as he’s dying.

Rather than go based on overall theme, this scene is best done line by line (this is using the CY version due to limited censorship compared to Viz).

Scene 1: Volume 17, Chapters 208-210

(Norman is dangling Ruby off the roof of a building by his collar. There are sharp rocks at the bottom)

Ruby: Re… release me…! Norman: Insolent brat!! Is that how you talk to your father?!

To start, Norman uses tone policing and deflection. He focuses on the fact that Ruby is “talking back” to him and making demands of his father, which doesn’t acknowledge Ruby’s request or the fact that Ruby is being dangling over the roof of a building. Also note that this is the first time the words are bolded and that they stay this way throughout the fight— Norman verbally escalates the fight. Norman is abusing his position of power over Ruby in order to excuse his actions and pass the blame back to his son.

Ruby: I don’t care how furious you are with me… I’m ready for it!

(Norman decks Ruby down a flight of stairs)

Norman: Why did you run away from home?!

Note once again that Norman is implied to start raising his voice first even when Ruby isn’t. There’s another deflection here: Norman changes the subject rather than actively respond to anything Ruby says.

Norman: Well? Say something! You’d better voice your complaints right now!!

(Ruby has a conversation with the Swimmer, who advises him to apologize to avoid his father’s rage and “just go home” which… fuck you Swimmer Jack. I’m skipping that part of the dialogue bc it isn’t that important).

(While Ruby is debating what to do, Norman’s Slaking lifts the stairs that Ruby is on and tries to fling him into next Tuesday).

Ruby is physically prevented from escaping by being dangled above Norman. I shouldn’t have to tell why physically preventing someone from leaving an argument is a bad thing.

(Ruby decides to fight Norman)

Note that Norman is physically and emotionally forcing Ruby into two possible options: Fight or be obedient. He is preventing Ruby from running and deflecting Ruby’s attempts to explain himself. He then shifts the blame to Ruby *again*, attacking Ruby and his pokemon with full force and implying it was Ruby who instigated the conflict in the first place.

Norman: … so you wish to fight me? … Iron Tail and Hyper Beam… I was the one who taught you those attacks. There’s nothing about your attacks and strategies I don’t know about. You’re just wasting your time! Give up!

Here, Norman does two things: he stresses Ruby’s dependence on him and his power over Ruby. It’s a typical “your success is dependent on me” and a “there is no option except obedience” rhetoric, and is likewise typical of abusers. Norman is stressing the things Norman has gifted to Ruby (battling knowledge) and using whatever he can to force Ruby to do what he wants— he’s exerting his control.

(Ruby turns the tide of the battle, so Norman likewise switches tactics by attacking Ruby himself and attempting to hit him with a staircase. Ruby falls down the stairs and is dangling over a pit of spikes when Norman stands on the edge, blocking Ruby’s only escape route).

Norman: Now will you come quietly? Stop being so stubborn

Not only is Norman forcing his son to choose between obedience and Literal Death, he also shifts the blame again. He excuses his own actions by claiming it is Ruby’s stubbornness that forced him into this position. He deflects the whole “putting my 11 year old in harm’s way” by claiming Ruby’s own resistance to Norman’s violence is the trigger for the violence itself. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s victim-blaming nonetheless and sadly, it works

(Flashback time: Norman admits he was going to give Ruby permission to participate in contests and gets emo about it. They fall, but Norman catches Ruby. This doesn’t matter though, because they both end up falling and Ruby uses his running shoes to save them both).

Ruby: (thinking) Ru- running shoes… my birthday present from dad… saved both… our lives

Ruby displays pretty typical abuse victim behavior here, focusing not on Norman’s 3 threats to literally kill him but instead on the One Good Thing Norman did. He doesn’t mention that it was Ruby himself who saved them both or that Norman was the one who put them in danger in the first place— he’s in total denial about the severity of everything that happened.

(At this point, Norman looms above Ruby with an angry expression and a raised pokeball. Bystanders panic because it appears that Norman is going to attack Ruby who, by the way, is unconscious on the ground, but Norman gets a surprise call from Winona and turns away after realizing that Winona can see him).

“I only stopped attacking my son when I realized people were watching”… alright fuck off then Norman

Norman: HEY!! Idiot son! You disobeyed your parents, then you ran away from home. I’ve had enough! Just do what you want! In return, you’d better accomplish your goals!! A man should complete what he has set out to do… … before he can return home!!

Hoo boy. Norman never apologizes, deflects all the blame onto Ruby, insults him twice, and then tries to save face with Winona and the people around him by giving Ruby permission to do contests— which he was apparently planning to do all along. He emphasizes the things Ruby did in response to Norman’s actions (Ruby ran away from home because he knew his dad would be unsupportive and gets violent during disagreements, so in essence Norman is to blame for backing him into a corner). Norman twists the narrative in order to make Ruby the instigator in every case, justifying Norman’s responses as reactions to Ruby’s problematic behavior

Swimmer Jack: Isn’t that a wonderful father? Ruby: Thank you… father.

Ok first of all Jack is a dumbass, so jot that down. Second of all, while it’s unintentional, Ruby is being gaslit to hell and back. It is only after Norman’s omission of all the abusive behavior and bystanders’ affirmation of Norman’s love that Ruby starts to think positively towards his father. The threat Ruby used to think was so large has been downplayed and outright denied by the people around him, so Ruby’s prior fear of Norman diminishes. Ruby’s fear of Norman and the violence Norman took against him is denied, downplayed, and ignored, so Ruby begins to doubt his own animosity towards his father. Thanks Swimmer Jack you unintentionally gaslit an 11 year old.

SCENE 2: (this one is much shorter, thank god)

(Norman, while he is dying, explains the whole deal with how he was ordered to search for Rayquaza yada yada. Throughout the exchange, Ruby gets increasingly upset).

Ruby: (thinking) barred from the test and forced to search for Rayquaza… It must be some kind of punishment! What could Dad have done to warrant such… why was he made responsible… ?!

Ruby: … … but… come to think of it, dad is not someone who makes mistakes easily… something’s not right!

Slight aside, Ruby has been so convinced of his father’s power by others that he is unwilling to even CONSIDER that his dad fucked up, which… wow!

Ruby: That day… Dad must have taken the rap for someone else… and… (flashbacks to Salamence Incident) that person… was….

Ruby: (out loud) … me?! That person who set Rayquaza free… was it me…?!

Norman: Yes.

And then he dies!

(Technically he says “oh I did all that out of love” (paraphrased) and then dies but it’s just a continuation of the previous thing).

Norman, before dying, does not say “I’m proud of you” or “I’m sorry for everything” or anything remotely comforting, instead he says “hey Ruby, you’re responsible for my death and all your childhood trauma alongside your friend’s. Peace.” (this is paraphrased).

Even on his actual deathbed, Norman places the blame on Ruby for Norman’s own actions. He makes Ruby feel guilty for Norman leaving, Norman hiding information from him, and Ruby’s tumultuous childhood.

CONCLUSION

None of this is to say that Norman doesn’t love Ruby or that Ruby doesn’t love him back— I’m fairly positive the two of them love each other dearly and want the best for each other. However, Norman is a child abuser who reacts violently, instigates violence, and then turns around and denies said violence. He creates a culture of fear among his family, gives Ruby some serious communication issues, and the narrative takes his side. Norman is a child abuser in canon and has a very VERY profound effect on Ruby which has emotional ramifications throughout Ruby’s entire character arc all the way until oras.

TLDR: Normans sucks man

#trainer ruby #leader norman #pokespe #vex liveblogs #rs arc #admin vex

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coulson-is-an-avenger · 4 years

Text

Good evening tma fans I’m back with more ace jonmartin content (that is also posted to AO3). Set during the safehouse because it’s good for Conversations. Have at thee:

Jon loves Martin. He has for so long now that it feels like it’s always been the truth, like if you were to go back to the start of the world, there would lie a stone with two names carved side by side, belonging there even millennia before their existence. It feels like a fact etched into his very bones, so deeply grounding that the force of it alone was enough to tear through the veil of fog and supernatural loneliness and bring him out unscathed, and with his prize. Orpheus reversed. A love stronger than Loneliness. A truth imprinted on his heart. Jon loves Martin.

And Martin knows, too. He saw the way Jon felt about him, the way he knew him with such love, the way he remembered him so thoroughly it was able to bring him back to himself after months of nothingness. He knows the curtain of the Lonely doesn’t part for just anyone. And then, of course, Jon has taken his hand and held it to his chest and wept his affections not a day later, when the tide finally broke and all of his despair and trust came tumbling out at once, and Martin’s still fog-rimmed eyes spilled over with tears and they held each other as confession after confession poured from each of them. Jon had told Martin he loved him so many times his throat had hurt, and Martin had held him so tightly his arms had shaken. Jon loves Martin, and Martin loves him in return, just as fiercely. Being loved is slowly starting to come naturally to Martin again.

The point is, though, that Jon loves Martin. And Martin knows. Which means at some point, they are going to have to talk about It.

Jon has avoided talking about It for years. He talked about it with Georgie, of course. She had been the one to help him gather more words to describe it. Asexual, sex repulsed, uninterested, etc.

It hadn’t always mattered, though. Not everyone was willing to care about something they saw as trivial, something he was still desperately trying to convince himself wasn’t trivial. And there were always the rare few who saw it as a challenge. Some days, the hope that he would be fully respected and loved for who he was seemed like a lost cause.

But he knows better now. He knows himself well enough to be certain, even these days, when grasping onto his very humanity feels like trying to drink from a mirage. He is certain about this, though. This has been long, long something he’s known about himself; a truth that he will acknowledge as nothing but the truth. A part of him. It is something to be proud of. Something he deserves to be loved for. And it is also something he very much so needs to communicate with Martin.

It hasn’t really come up yet, not since their frantic packing and desperate drive all the way to Scotland, Jon clinging onto the passenger assist grip as Martin does his best to get them there quickly, and then their exhausted unpacking in the safehouse, and the emotionally draining last few days they’ve had. It’s overwhelming, being in each other’s constant company, in a way that largely feels utterly mundane.

They gather groceries together at the shop, brush hands over plates at the sink, curl up together to ward off the nightmares in bed, do their best to clean every inch of the house they can reach, and try to acclimatize to each other as the days continue. Martin is still breaking himself into connection; sometimes halting too sharply in his words, sometimes forgetting to speak for hours at a time, shifting invisible when he gets distracted enough, and Jon is still hesitant, not quite sure what to do to make it better, not quite sure if a false step will make it worse. He’d go back into the Lonely for Martin a thousand times if it meant saving him, but he doesn’t want Martin to lose himself again. Most times, Martin is as vibrant as his early days at the institute, but on others Jon still catches whiffs of the sterilized smell of the Lonely in Martin’s wake. Those times, his hands always linger on Martin’s as they brush. Every moment has been full of comfort, of the reassurance that they are both still there, of light topics, and of forgiveness when it is needed.

Jon loves Martin. He wants Martin to know. There just hasn’t been the right chance for it yet.

He’s convinced himself to just let it come up naturally whenever Martin is free enough of the fog to let himself sink into open affection, but, as it turns out, he needn’t have agonized about it.

It’s a good day for Martin, today. He’s been talkative, warm, and his eyes are shining with that look that’s so hopelessly earnest and alive it makes Jon’s heart want to beat entirely out of his chest. They’ve taken the day to trade questions and answers over cooking and cleaning and relaxing, and now, as Martin slides tonight’s meal into the oven, he decides the questions aren’t quite over.

“So, Jon,” Martin begins from the kitchen, in a tone that’s so genuinely casual it's almost surprising. “What are your thoughts on sex?”

Jon blinks in utter surprise, torn away from his book with a start as the words register in his head. His traitorous stomach drops out of habit. Oh, Christ. Is this it? Are they doing this now? Is he ready for this? His hands hesitate over the page he’s bookmarked with his thumb, not sure if this is just going to be a simple answer, or if Martin means this as a gateway to a full conversation about the topic. “L-Like, in general?”

“I mean, there was gossip at the Institute,” Martin offers apologetically, ducking his head and wiping his hands on a towel. He looks slightly sheepish from where Jon can see him. “Some talk about you and Basira awhile back, for a bit, and later Melanie mentioned something about you just not, but both of those were, y’know, gossip, and I just realized I’ve never actually asked you personally what your feelings were on the matter, so… yeah. In general.” As he rambles, he makes his way over to the couch where Jon is sitting, bending down to rest his arms on the back of it. His face is open and curious, but not oppressively so. Jon has to fight the familiar urge to set all thought and action aside to simply stare at him.

Jon instead puts his book off to the side and inhales. This is a conversation that deserves his full attention.

“Well,” he fumbles for a place to start. He hasn’t perfected a speech, doesn’t have all the proper sources planned, but he might as well start by giving Martin the honesty he deserves; the kind Jon has been preparing for. “I… suppose generally opposed? I-I mean, not for-“ He bites back the word “normal” as he stutters over his explanation, trying not to feel like he’s pulling his own teeth as he speaks. His own words feel somehow foreign to him, even more so these days, but for Martin, he’s trying. “Not for other people, I mean, but for me? I’m really just not interested. Too much …touching and exposure and- and noises? Not to mention all the expectations it comes with. Honestly, it… sounds kind of dreadful.”

Martin makes a small noise of attentiveness. “Never tried it, then?”

Jon goes sort of cold, all over, a bone deep chill curling deep inside his gut, and he has to manually force himself to unfreeze and choose his words carefully. “I have not. And I can’t quite say I’d have any interest in doing so.” His tone is clipped, defensive, and cold. He tries to keep himself from glaring out of habit.

“Why do you sound so—“ Martin’s tone starts teasing, and then breaks off as he catches a glance of Jon’s terrified expression and his eyes widen. “OH!! Oh, no, I wasn’t- sorry, that came out wrong. I was just curious to sort of… compare experiences, I wasn’t implying any sort of… no.” He waves a hand as if to physically dismiss Jon’s anxiety. “Never having tried it is fine. Good, even! Good on you for knowing your boundaries. I’m happy for that.” He rambles. “That’s wonderful. Sorry.”

Jon flushes slightly in embarrassment that he misread the tone, but his chest loosens a bit. No one has ever told him that before, and it feels… nothing short of radical. Safe. “It’s- it’s alright, Martin.” Jon drums his fingers against the book cover resting against his belly for a moment, his thoughts shifting to wonder what the point to the conversation is if not to… well… he shoos away theories. This is Martin, he can just ask. “What do you mean ‘compare experiences’?” He sits up more, now curious himself. “Martin, do you… what are your thoughts on it? Sex, I mean. In general.” It always comes out sounding much more academic than he intends, and he pursues his lips against his own pronunciation, even though Martin doesn’t seem to notice.

Martin blinks a bit. “Oh! Hm. Well, it’s— I suppose a bit complicated? I dunno.” He rubs a hand over the back of his head, brushing through the regrowing hair at the nape of his neck. “If it makes the other person happy then, yeah I’m all for it, but it’s more of just… an activity to me, I guess? Never really been quite my favorite one either, to be perfectly honest.” The chuckle he gives sounds just shy of self-depreciating, and Jon finds himself reaching a hand up to catch Martin’s for reassurance. Martin takes it, gives a slight squeeze. “That’s not to say that I’ve had a bad experience, necessarily? I just… I’d rather be closer in other ways.” He shrugs, and his eyes drop. “Feels kind of weird, honestly. Knowing I’ve done it. I mean, I always figured I’m not really the kind of person you’d assume to be having it, and I’m fine with that. I dunno.”

The loosening thing in Jon’s chest unfurls completely, melting into affection. “Oh, Martin.” He hesitates, thinking, before looking up and giving Martin a very curious look. “You’re… like me, aren’t you?”

Martin looks up and meets his eyes dead on, as a small, shy smile pulls at his lips, his eyes going warm and soft before he ducks away, somewhat hiding his face. “Yeah, I think so.”

Jon loves Martin.

“What’s…” Jon’s face flushes, but he’s already spoken the first word aloud, and he doubts his curiosity will allow him to back out, so he clears his throat and continues on. “You said you’d rather be closer to people in o-other ways?” He fidgets with the hem of his shirt. “What might those be?”

Martin squishes his face in that adorable way he does when he’s thinking, lips pressing together in a little motion that Jon can’t help but find hopelessly endearing. “I guess… doing things for people? Something to let them know that you really see them,” his eyes dart to Jon for a half a moment as he says that, before continuing on. “or… I dunno. Activities together? Spending time with someone is always nice. And…hugs, honestly.” He laughs at himself, but Jon is listening intently. “I know that sounds kind of silly, I know, but…”

“It’s not silly,” Jon interrupts, pushing himself up into a standing position, a look of softness coming across his face as he latches onto an idea and softens with everything in him. “In that case, Martin, can I…?” He’s standing up from the couch, and walking around to the back, arms opening in a hesitant invitation. Martin’s eyes widen, and then soften.

“Oh, sure. Yeah, of course.”

Jon loves Martin. He wants to show him in all the ways he can, and so Jon wraps his arms around Martin, one hand reaching up to stroke through his hair, fingers catching on his curls, while the other pulls his chest tight with Jon’s, heartbeats resonating in sync. Martin’s hands come to rest on the small of Jon’s back, and, despite his height, he exhales slowly in relaxation.

He fidgets after a second, signaling the polite time for an embrace to end, but Jon just wraps his arms around him tighter, pressing his nose into Martin’s neck, and running his hand through his hair until Martin finally stops waiting for it to end, and lets himself relax into it. His arms loosen around Jon’s waist, but he drops his head against Jon’s shoulder, and Jon does everything he can to make Martin feel wrapped up in the enormity of his own affection. Martin lets out a sigh into his shoulder, and Jon’s heart swells in its lopsided rib cage. He wishes he could replace the missing ribs with Martin, to keep him closer to his heart, or better yet, to do away with the whole thing altogether, and simply trust Martin to take his chest in his hands.

Safe. He wants to keep Martin safe. And he trusts Martin to keep him safe as well. He drags a hand over his back, trying to fit as much protectiveness he can into the gesture. You are so loved, he wants it to say. Nothing can hurt you. There’s no expectations in the embrace, no pressure or next step. It’s just this moment, just heartbeats, just Jon making space for Martin in his arms. It’s perfect.

“This is nice.” Martin murmurs, nothing more than a soft exhale, and Jon loves him more than he knows how to understand.

#the magnus archives #tma #jonmartin #tma fic #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #asexuality #ace martin blackwood #my writing #hugs are the peak of physical intimacy and nothing can change my mind

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voiceless-terror · 3 years

Text

What We’re Given and What We Make

@aspecarchivesweek Day Two: Family, also for @dheiress, who prompted Jon/Gerry/Martin waking up!

Characters: Jonathan Sims/Gerry Keay/Martin Blackwood

Martin wakes to Gerry’s soft touches, his fingers mapping constellations from the freckles on his arm. “Mm. Morning, love. Jon already up?”

“Actually, I think you’re on top of him.”

“Ah, alright.”

The sunlight is filtering through the window Jon forgot to close and it’s been letting in a cool breeze all night; it’s probably why Jon’s currently burrowed mostly underneath him, an almost imperceptible bump in the covers. Martin loves the fresh scent that floods the apartment but Jon’s bound to be grumpy about it, waking up with a stuffy nose and an irritated throat. He’ll blame it on one of them; Jon enjoys dodging responsibility for these small, inconsequential things. And they always let him.

Gerry meets his eyes with a knowing look, stopping his ministrations to reach up and give Martin a dry peck on the forehead. “Sleep well?”

“Reckon so.” He reaches out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Gerry’s ear, smiling at the demure look it earns him. He’s so lovely in the morning light, clothes rumpled and the remnants of eyeliner smeared across his cheek. Jon likes to help him take it off in the evening, smooths a towel across his face like Gerry’s made of porcelain and liable to break. The intimacy of the motions and the tender care behind them makes Martin want to put pen to paper.

When he first met Gerry he expected someone much, much different, the image from Jon’s starstruck tales paint a certain type of picture, you see. Someone arrogant and dashing, a hero from some gritty drama. But he’s shy, quiet and almost unassuming. Jon drags him over from the bar, practically vibrating in excitement and where he should feel jealousy at their interlocked hands he instead feels a sense of belonging, like the man’s hands are made for holding and the other’s waiting for Martin to take.

“This is Jared Keay, Martin-”

“Ger-ard,” the man stresses, throwing a fondly exasperated look Jon’s way before meeting Martin’s eyes. “You can call me Gerry, though.”

Gerry. There’s a friendly cadence to it, warm and kind. Martin likes the way it rolls off his tongue, likes to whisper it to himself when the man dozes on his chest, soft and unguarded only when he’s alone with them. It had taken them quite some time to break his shell and see past the deflective humor and occasional posturing. Breaking down his walls was a task Martin took to with relish- he’d done it with Jon, and he’d do it again. Gerry was worth it.

And Gerry’s not one to ruminate, he doesn’t like to dwell on the memories of times with his mother or at the Institute where Jon currently slaves away. But Martin knows he hasn’t quite shaken them off, he can read it in the way he considers his words, when he hesitates at certain touches. Martin can relate; he still hears the phantom echoes of his mother’s voice, her criticisms that followed his every move. When it gets to be too much Jon assures him of his importance, of his worth outside of being useful, and now he has Gerry to do that too. These days, Martin’s starting to think he deserves such devotion.

He hopes Gerry’s starting to think the same.

He remembers when he first opened the bookstore, when Gerry helped him set up shelving and plan the layout. Gerry’s telling one of his stories, one Martin’s heard a thousand times and will gladly hear a thousand more. He passes Martin a hammer and for a brief moment their hands touch; an electric pulse shoots up his spine and he knows Gerry feels it too, judging by his own shiver. They were getting close; Gerry spent many nights at their flat slowly opening up and feeling comfortable in his skin. Martin’s been waiting for this moment but Gerry didn’t expect it; he withdrew from them until he could put a name to something he’d never quite felt before.

And so two became three.

“You know, I didn’t think this would ever happen to me,” Gerry confesses one night, while the two of them lie in bed, Jon puttering away in his study. “Didn’t think I was built for it. But then Jon came along and you, and- I don’t know. It just feels right.”

“Because it is,” Martin replies, running a hand down Gerry’s back, rucking his shirt up just a bit. He’s so sure of the truth behind his words because he’s watched it happen. He’s watched Jon’s admiration give way to something deeper, Gerry’s easy acceptance of his boundaries. He’s felt the way his own body reacts to Gerry’s presence, how his smile lights up any room. They don’t make each other whole, but they make each other happier. And isn’t that the point, to be loved for one’s self and not what one can give? “We’re all built for love, one way or another. We just have different ways of expressing it.”

Gerry and Jon are born storytellers, their banter and chemistry off the charts, and Martin could listen to them for hours not saying a word. In years past he would’ve felt jealous but now he feels only adoration at their closeness and how relaxed they are with each other. He admires the ease with which they spin worlds for Martin to get lost in.

But late at night Martin speaks in rhythms that could put their words to shame, reading an odyssey in a line of tattoos on skin just to see the blush on Gerry’s face. His I love you is a prayer, devotion enough in every syllable to make Jon weep. These are the nights where they forget the outside world exists- they have only each other, their bed, their hands, and Martin’s words.

He enjoys this power, but uses it sparingly. After all, his partners can’t always be putty in his hands.

So Jon works, Gerry plans and Martin dreams of a time when the three of them can be happy and content for all days, when the lines of stress fade from Jon’s face and the touch of a hand brings only the echoes of love and not pain. When Gerry’s touches are no longer hesitant but bold and purposeful. He thinks that day’s coming.

But for now he laughs when Jon groans to life underneath him, takes the blame when he inevitably complains in a nasally tone about the open window. And when Gerry shoots him that secret little smile, he’s reminded that this is enough, that he’s enough.

He finally has a home, and a family to fill it.

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28715103

#my writing #tma #the magnus archives #aspecarchives #martin blackwood #gerard keay #gerry keay #jonathan sims #jongerrymartin #with mostly a focus on gerrymartin #demisexual gerard keay #asexual jonathan sims #gerrymartin #jonmartin #jongerry

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