#i feel like i don't love anything i do?

[wildmelon]

im having such an identity crisis about my editing lately

#ts4 edit #sims 4 edit #ts4 #sims 4 #i feel like i don't love anything i do? #unless im mixing it up lol #like changing my cas bg and reshade and using new cc etc #which is fine i guess change is scary tho #even just a change in my style #it's just been so long that i had a creating/editing routine and i was always happy w the result but lately i'm not :( #i like this though i think im gravitating towards a slightly darker style? #ts4 portrait #sims 4 portrait #ts4 cas #sims 4 cas #create a sim #my sims #sim: theodosia kay #wm: ts4

[panstarry]

my final from last semester that i made into a zine. cooked this one up in a couple hours before the critique (the ink was still wet!), so it's very raw and kind of sloppy but the sentiment is there. i love you trans people of color. we are the backbone of this community 🌟

#pan draws #pan designs #zine #risograph #i'm not gonna lie i don't love how this one turned out OTL and i think the wording is not done but well... a deadline is a deadline #i'll probably touch it up and rewrite it in the future but who's to say.. i need to stew on how to articulate my feelings coherently #anyway my transness is so closely tied to my experience as a person of color. the current political climate is so fucking ass to exist in #but more than anything i am pissed off at white punks & leftists & trans people that refuse to have meaningful solidarity with us. #so yeah anyway. i was stuck on this one forever and only really got anywhere with it after attending 2 punk noise shows in a row where they #actually used their fucking platform to do like. anything. our struggles are connected you need to careeeee YOU HAVE TO CARE........ ok bye #tdov #trans day of visibility #<- i was sitting on uploading this for a while so the stars kind of aligned for it to be today huh.... happy tdov i love you

[nexus-nebulae]

shoutout to people who don't have a "before" the trauma.

shoutout to people who don't have any sweet or nostalgic childhood memories. to people who don't remember enough of their childhood to know what the before was like. to people who lost their innocence before they ever learned the word for it. to people whose pasts were too painful to keep around in any form. to people who only knew trauma, and don't have an idea of what life would be like without it. to people who can't long for "the better days" because there weren't any.

you deserve a good future. i hope it's there for you soon.

#trauma #ptsd #childhood trauma #sorry just. feeling shitty about not having a past anymore #and please i'm so tired please for the love of god don't tag this with self deprecating shit like 'but i dont deserve anything' #you're only feeding into your mental health getting worse and you're using other peoples attempted positivity to do it #its just mean to both you and the op

[merrigel]

I want it back = I drag its dead weight forward

#artists on tumblr #animation #in stars and time #isat #illustration #in stars and time spoilers #isat spoilers #like for real #anyway I'm still thinking about Siffrin Instarsandtime #shoutout to tumblr user jb-blunk for the words from the caption which inspired this whole deal #literally finished the game and had those words looping (haHA) in my head like 'how do I use this what can I do to match this feeling' LMAO #if you haven't played ISAT well. first of all stop looking don't glean anything from this shhhh- but also GO PLAY IT IT'S EXCELLENT #heavily based off the astronomical clock in Prague! I love that thing so it was really fun to try and make it more ISAT-like #bc the themes are already there yanno!! Stars n' whatnot! And then of course the craft types instead of the astrological signs! #Loop and the King for the sun and the moon!! #can you tell I thought about and planned this one for like. A while. Longer than I usually spend LMAO #so yeah go play it immediately come be absolutely ILL and SICK and PLAGUED about the secret boss with me #fanart #pic

[lazylittledragon]

How was Astarion during Kits birth? I feel like he’d panic tbh

i think he would be his regular flippant self to hide that he was SHITTING BRICKS

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #tavstarion #dadstarion #i feel like he ALMOST pushed it too far but not quite #because like. he’s a shit. but he does love him and this is a LOT #i also just don't think he's experienced someone he cares about being in pain and not being able to do anything about it #someone give him a hug #i am working through all my asks i swear #i like answering them like this

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things. #people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time. #but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized. #sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement. #this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex. #and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things #especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love. #our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!! #it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild.... #anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that. #silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff. #love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another #same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take #anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that. #kiss kiss (<— lovelessly) #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #talking #aroace #aspec #sex positivity

[llutik]

learning names

#a song of ice and fire #asoiaf #my art #adwd #a dance with dragons #theon greyjoy #jeyne poole #ramsay bolton #ramsay snow #arya stark #or rather a suggestion of arya #valyrian scrolls #theons kraken brooch #since it takes up so much space #don't really like that drawing but i spent so much time on that i have to show it... #i should have spent my time drawing your lovely requests instead #will finish them in july. gay month 2. gay summer i dare say #i also feel like theon doesn't look... bad enough? ...... did i do anything right with this. #AND I FUCKING mixed up his hands XDXDXDXD

[ineed-to-sleep]

So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again

#I actually finished a wip after abandoning it for so long alright iconic moment for me personally #this is them in the cab coming back from the warrens after getting their asses handed to them by all the szlachta #she handled herself a lil better but vincent is squishy and almost died like. 10 times #vtm #vtmb #the fledgling #brujah #oc.vince #oc.pepper #ship: viper #sleepyscribble #she looks a lil sad bc yk she nearly lost the dude and she starts realizing she liiikes hiiiiiim teehee #she legit doesn't know what she would do if she rlly lost him #but she doesn't think she's in love ofc ofc it's just that yk he's the only person she really feels like she can trust #and the only one she feels really good around and who she feels she could tell anything to #and tbh she hasn't felt this way with anyone else in a long long time even before she became undead and had to deal w the other kindred #but that's normal for a friendship yk this is just a really strong friendship why ruin it with romance right that's stupid #no she wasn't watching him take his shirt off with her eyes almost popping out of her skull the other day shhh that didn't happen #she doesn't even remember he has freckles on his back and a scar on his shoulder. the left one. she doesn't remember she wasn't even lookin #ANYWAY no lust no feelings she's fine don't worry abt it 👍🏻

[ride-a-dromedary]

[Tell me something about yourself that I wouldn't even think to ask.]

#Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 #halsinedit #bg3edit #bg3 spoilers #videogameedit #Halsin #otheredits #my stuff #i believe that this line #and it's delivery particularly in regards to his expression dropping before smiling again (because it almost comes across #as halsin being....hesitant to talk about himself because a. he feels like he doesn't do anything interesting #and b. has obviously been made fun of in the past judging by a few things and is waiting for you to as well) #(which makes that choice to be like haha bear and honey isn't that on the nose come off as more a dickish thing to say imho) #and the line 'it was a long time ago the wounds don't heal but they become more bearable' #say a whole lot about halsin in general and are largely overlooked when his character is being analyzed #a n y w a y....i love one gentle giant man please larian fix him up a bit and give him some more to say #otherwise it's fine i'll just be here and still love him and hate colouring this game

[somnimagus]

colored some more things from my sketchbook! zelda edition this time

[id in alt!]

#loz #legend of zelda #food #specific games from left to right (more or less) are: #twilight princess #wind waker #skyward sword #ocarina of time #minish cap #it feels like i suddenly understand how to color when i do these.. i'm scheming ways to get digital art to click like this for me #but man i used to be obsessed with midna medli saria and vaati as a kid so drawing them again a decade later feels super weird #and adult me now has an additional love of telma ruto and for some reason fledge. i think his design is cute #i don't show my ocs on the internet so you're gonna have to take my word for this but #zelda actually completely sparked my love of character design! i'm still hugely inspired by the older games #plus the anthro designs from botw! i love teba very much #but fi specifically is probably my favorite character design from anything ever. she's perfect to me #fan art #my doodles #my art

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

#witch hat tag #orufrey #these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!! #i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was #some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that #like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god #aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it #ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!! #I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE! #tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood. #Why do you keep pulling away from me? #It is because i love you that i do this #the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings #“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want #to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“ #oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you #maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me #i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life #until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to #NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!! #........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*

[infiniteorangethethird]

being loveless does suck sometimes but less bc of some "ohnooo I'll never be able to loooove what will I ever doooo" bs but because how the hell do you tell the ppl around you that you view all relationships as business transactions where the currency is care and support and the reward is trust? How do you tell someone "hey so I could not care less about you as a person but also I enjoy every second we spend together and I'd fight the universe for you if you asked and if you ever disappeared I probably wouldn't miss you but I'd still cry for all the things we never got to experience together" without being the asshole?

#loveless #loveless apl #loveless aplatonic #aplatonic #aplspec #loveless aro #loveless aromantic #so many times i find myself believing im a shitty person #for not being emotionally invested in others #i find it genuinely hard to truly care for other ppl #but it's like i do wanna help and support you!! i do wanna be there for you #and do stupid shit with you!! #id do anything a good friendship requires from me!! #and yet it never feels enough bc the needed emotions aren't behind the acts #not enough that i do it bc i wanna. not enough if it's not out of love #and like how could i blame them for it? how else would they react to #'hey i literally don't care about you. let's hang out anyway'? #(bestie if ur reading this. im sorry...?) #queer stuff

[sysig]

Off to make mischief and terrible decisions for everyone (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Gaster #Papyrus #Sans #Help they keep appearing #Where have I heard that one before lol #Genuinely! I wasn't expecting to keep drawing them but my pencil kept moving and they kept showing up on my paper! #Especially Gaster but the other two plenty as well #Got to employ a bit of my favourite coloured pencil ♪ I Will find a way to use my blue on nearly anything #Luckily for me they come prepackaged with blue magic so that was easy enough #Wiggly baby Papyrus does Not want to go >:( At least he's not being hurt :( #Some smoking Gaster ♪ I still quite enjoy drawing smoke honestly - fun to get to do so with a character who actually smokes haha #You can see I also added swoopy-swoops to his Lost Soul head - I like it much better for being such a small detail #I think it looks weird in black rather than white but against a white background- #Without them he feels....hmm something. Something old that I don't want #Not like the Classic Lost Soul head tho haha - similar but not quite the same! #I love his design ahh ♪ He's really so pretty but so much of that is in his details! Like the way he wears his clothes or holds his body #I'm always a sucker for that style of turtleneck as well haha ♫ #Perhaps his turtleneck keeps the smoke in chest from escaping longer :0 Yet another reason to wear them! #Shot of the little family before things went Completely terrible - before the plates and all that #I'm rather pleased with his hand pose there actually :) Keep an eye on your kids Gaster you've only got the one eye to do so! #And then some silly ones lol - I am desperately curious if animated skeletons would have a hyoid bone #It's not as though hyoid bones are specific to humans! They're just A Type Of Bone! Surely skeletons would have All their bones right? #But in the human skeleton it's not resting against another bone it's just floating there tethered by muscle and sinew #Would it float? Would it rest inside the lower jaw? Would it attach to the neck vertebrae?? #It'd probably get caught on his turtleneck a lot easier than like - getting it caught on his neck bones for example #They have a kind of fused canine-teeth-like structure as well they're like a weird set of tongue-teeth lol #It's just fun to imagine ♪ Similar to how the rest of the skeletal body like - magnetizes? to itself :)

[politemagic]

everyone say congratulations to the first time homeowners!

edit: i may or may not have been inspired to write some headcanons based on this, if you're interested

#is this anything? idk if this is anything but i made it anyway #i wanna write the misadventures of the eepies in their haunted house. #i feel like ii is the ghosts' favorite. while they might mess with the others they are actively helpful to him #like if someone doesn't close the door all the way it'll just slowly click shut so he doesn't have to get up #iii is very jealous that the ghosts like ii so much. #he holds seances at least once a week (despite vessel's many protests) basically just like 'why don't u like me🥺' #iv tries to win over the ghosts by doing nice things for them #if you've seen the show ghosts on cbs i imagine him being a little like jay lololol #leaving the tv on for them to watch or cooking something so they can smell it #(they still love ii the most) #vessel is definitely at least a LITTLE BIT of a medium so to him the haunted house just feels really crowded #though sometimes he'll listen in on their conversations when he's bored #so it's not uncommon for him to suddenly laugh in the middle of a silent room #(the others definitely aren't jealous at all) #anyways if you read all that and would want to read more lmk because i WILL write it #sleep token #worshitposting #sleep token memes #sleep token vessel #sleep token ii #sleep token iii #sleep token iv #em's worshitposting

[chloecherrysip]

I don't know where I'm from. My earliest memory is arriving. I was so lucky they found me! They took me in, raised me like one of their own, and when I was ready, they made me their princess.

#mario movie #mario movie spoilers #super mario bros #princess peach #super mario bros movie #super mario bros movie spoilers #cherrysip edits #mario movie was like ' let me just drop some wild new lore in here and then not come back to it in any way' lolol #DOES PEACH HAVE PARENTS BACK IN THE REGULAR WORLD THAT MOURN HER TO THIS VERY DAY???? #i don't know how feasible this would be but it feels like you could do some research to look up reports of missing children matching her #description over the last couple of decades and see if anything intriguing comes up :O #but i do love how this makes the relationship between peach and the toads so much more emotional and meaningful #they're not just her subjects. they saved her and gave her a loving home!!! they are her family and she would do anything for them!!! #they cared for her and now she cares for them even if it requires self-sacrifice #(another intriguing detail: the castle already exists here. did the toads have another monarch before this???) #(have they just been making unsuspecting humans wandering through the pipe royalty for hundreds of years????? HMM)

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show