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#i guess those advices were right
finnieforkys · 1 year
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First page of a new sketchbook
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lisxdumbr · 5 days
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The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah
#who wants to hesr the story of how I lost my irl friends recently (you will I'm spitting everything right now)#anyway so last year one day one of my friends decided to randomly backstab me and she started talking behind my back#and yeah this all made me mad because?? what the fuck#she started talking and revealing stuff that i had confide to her to other people and they slowly started drifting from me#BUt the thing here is that she was manipulating the story. she changed it every time she told stuff to people to make me look bad#i heard one of the things she said about me once and i was like ?? she even make me dislike me in her version which like woa#anyway I didn't understand why she did that because it was ? so random? and then she started ignoring me and has not talked to me ever since#the thing is. she apparently didn't have enough with just doing that. she slowly started to rot my other friends' brains too?#in the sense that. suddenly the rest of my group was ignoring me too. they never said anything to me. or stated that they had a problem#they just ignored me in my face? and yeah that. hurt#recently i found thanks to a third party that one of them decided to stop talking to me because apparently i had hurt her uncountable times#and she was just soo sick and tired of me doing that. which. honestly made me mad because she did not ever express that to me?? so#what was i supposed to do. if she never said anything.#anyway one of my friends confronted her about the treatment they were giving to me. the whole exclusion thing. and her answer was-#”well it's not my fault that she doesn't have more friends and doesn't talk to people”#and i was like. woah. what a poor reply. is that really it.. also apparently they all had agree to stop talking to me as a group-#-and they never informed me so. thank you?#and I'm still here asking what i did to that ex friend of mine. later on i found out she had hooked up with the guy i used to like btw#and she kept it secret. oh and then i started dating my current partner ! person she also felt attracted to. and that's my only explanation.#she started gossiping after what happened with the first guy. so that's really everything that comes to mind as a reason#ANYWAY now that i was at the hospital i didn't receive a single text from any of them. so i guess that was it. people who don't care-#-like that are not friends. those people are not my friends. people who ignore me on purpose and gossip like that are not. my friends#so yeah that's why I've been feeling down lately but ! here I am i ended up ranting so. much#rant#vent#?#woah i actually feel so much better after spitting it all#I'm also following that sour grape advice btw I'm not giving them the privilege of cutting me out. I'M the one who dislikes them now
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arctic-hands · 5 months
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Oils dissolve silicone, right? If I got a silicone bowel to hold the water that cleans my paintbrushes, I wouldn't be able to use my (water miscible, meaning I don't need paint thinner or mineral spirits) oil paints in it, yeah?
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arthur-r · 10 months
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asked reddit how to maintain stage presence while seated and the responses are ridiculous so does anyone here have advice?
#‘​‘get a wheelchair for sympathy’’ yeah i would have a wheelchair if it were that easy to afford!!!!#i did like the advice of making the chair super cool. the person suggested i go to a thrift store and get the best chair there#i’ll have to see about clearing that with the drummer (concert is also her grad party) but sounds like a good idea#however it doesn’t actually help me look less awkward while singing and that’s the problem#is that by default i sit with my whole body crossed and folded and that’s not how to look like a lead singer#and all the rules i know to fix that involve standing up. and i nearly passed out just singing my songs from a chair yesterday#because that was somehow also too much exertion. yeah i’m not doing very well. i wish the concert could wait#but anyway has anyone here had to perform from a chair and your hands weren’t automatically busy?? what did you do with them????#i’ll be playing cello in some songs so i’ll be alright for those but other than that i have no clue what to do#anyway our second concert ever is in a few days i’m pretty nervous#this saturday. real people are coming and a real musician is opening#and i’m not even allowed to wear my cool shoes :(#i also keep dreaming that it’s the last day of school and i’m walking down the hallway crying???? and seeing people i miss??#so just feeling a little bit strange. anyway my grandparents will be picking me up in a little bit to go out for my birthday (was in april)#so i’m gonna have a shower and get ready for that. but here is a little status update i guess#me. my post. mine.#delete later#and right please give advice!!!! my stage presence is already awful cause i’m autistic and can’t read the room. being seated makes it worse#anyway i’m getting in the shower. but thanks preemptively for any and all advice and otherwise i just hope you’re well
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incognit0slut · 23 days
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Hypothetically
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Chronically single, you suggest a pact with your best friend to start a family together when you turn forty.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x bau fem reader
Category: fluff/comfort
Warnings: marriage and baby talk, reader is insecure because she feels left out
A/n: This is my entry for the kid fic challenge by @imagining-in-the-margins! This was like a breath of fresh air from all the smut I’ve been writing
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"Do you want to have a baby with me?"
The scalding coffee burned his tongue as your question lingered in the air. Spencer cleared his throat awkwardly and patted his chest, his eyes drifting towards you. "Uh... what?"
"Hypothetically," you replied, the tap of your pen echoing against the round table between you. "It's like a pact. If we're both still single in the future, we get married to one another and, well, start a family together."
Spencer felt the clamminess of his palms as he set his mug down, trying to steady himself. He considered you as one of the closest people in his life, if not his best friend, and he was accustomed to your random questions, but this sudden topic of conversation seemed to strike a nerve.
"Where..." he began, wiping his palm along his pants. "...where is this coming from?"
You shrugged casually, the tapping of your pen momentarily ceasing. "Just a thought. I mean, we're both at that age where these things start to cross our minds, right?"
Spencer swallowed, trying to push down the unease rising in his chest. "Yeah, I guess so," he muttered, but as he studied you, he noticed the tension in your shoulders. "Are you okay?"
Your gaze flickered away for a moment before you sighed, slumping against your chair.
"I have a wedding coming up this weekend." Spencer frowned, not understanding what you were trying to say. You continued, "And another one next week, and guess what? Two of my cousins are getting married next month."
"What does that have to do with...?" His voice trailed off as realization dawned on him. "Ah, I see."
But you weren't finished. Somehow, the thoughts that had lingered in your mind for the past few days spilled out right then and there, in the middle of broad daylight when you were supposed to be focusing on the case you were working on.
"And a close friend I went to high school with just gave birth while another friend from college announced she's two months pregnant. And look at me," you exclaimed, your arms flying around. "No wedding. No pregnancy. Spencer, I don't even have a boyfriend, heck, I forgot what it's like to go out on a date!"
He watched as your brow furrowed into a frown, and although your demeanor was all over the place, he couldn't help but notice how you still managed to look pretty.
"Spence?" You asked, nudging his leg with your foot under the table. "Are you listening to me?"
He blinked, momentarily pulled from his thoughts by your voice. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm listening."
You gave him a skeptical look, but the tension in your shoulders seemed to ease slightly as you leaned back in your chair.
"I just... I don't know, I feel like I'm left behind." You sighed, running a hand through your hair. "I mean, I'm happy for my friends and all, but sometimes it feels like everyone's moving forward but me. Like I'm stuck in this... this rut."
Spencer wasn't sure how to respond. On one hand, he knew how it felt to want something that seemed out of reach, but on the other hand, he felt like it wasn't his place to offer advice when he wasn't even sure what the future held for him.
"I get it," he finally said, trying to gather his thoughts. The least he could do was try to offer some comfort. "But just because you haven't reached those milestones yet doesn't mean you won't get there eventually."
"But what if it doesn't happen? What if I'm still all alone and nobody loves me when I'm gray and old?"
He frowned at you. "I'd still love you when you're gray and old."
"Platonically. You love me as much as you love JJ. Or Emily. Or Penny, or even Morgan." You leaned over the table. "I want to be loved passionately by someone who is head over heels for me, who can't imagine a life without me. I want to feel that kind of happiness."
His frown deepened. "I don't think you should find happiness in another person."
"You're missing the point," you groaned, crossing your arms. "I'm not saying I want to depend on someone else for my happiness. But is it too much to ask for someone to share it with? To feel like I'm someone's everything and not just another friend in the group?"
His expression softened as he listened, a sense of familiarity washing over him. He remembered feeling the same thing once, or maybe more than once; he wasn't sure. He had lost count of the times he felt his life was falling short.
But he realized the more he thought about the why—why was he so different? why couldn't he find love?—the more he felt worthless, and he hated that. So what was the best thing he did to ignore those thoughts?
Bury himself in work, because to him, pushing those feelings aside was easier than confronting them. But now, as he looked at you, it felt like he was seeing his own reflection and your words hit him harder than he expected.
"No," he quietly agreed. "It's not too much to ask for."
"I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm tired of waiting for life to happen to me." Your gaze slowly met his. "So I came up with a plan."
His throat felt dry as he recalled how this conversation started in the first place. "The... baby plan?"
You nodded enthusiastically, sliding into the seat next to him.
"Think about it. If we're both still single when we're..." You paused, furrowing your brow as you did a quick calculation. "Forty? Yeah, let's say we're both still single when we're forty, with no partners, or like, no friends with benefits?"
You shook your head.
“Just... with no one in our lives—we get married. You and me."
He blinked, trying to process your proposal. It was unexpected, to say the least, but there was a strange logic to it that he couldn't quite shake. The idea of marrying his best friend as a backup plan was both absurd and oddly comforting.
"But what about... love?" he asked cautiously. "Wasn't that what you wanted?"
You paused, considering his question before responding. "I mean, I don't think it's impossible," you said, leaning back in your seat. "Haven't you ever heard of the saying, 'Marry your best friend'?"
His gaze lingered on you, his heart beating hard against his chest. "You're saying that we can fall in love?"
Your eyes met his, and a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "Who knows?" you replied softly. "Stranger things have happened."
Spencer shouldn't entertain the possibility. After all, who knew what could happen in the future? It seemed like an absurd thought, but as he stared at you, it was hard not to imagine a life with you as his wife.
He imagined you in a white dress, walking down the aisle towards him with a radiant smile on your face. He pictured you both in the house you had just bought, dancing joyfully around the empty rooms as you unpacked boxes together.
Then thoughts of you being pregnant with his child—or maybe even children—filled his mind, and he envisioned a future where your kids would run around in the backyard with a pet dog trailing behind.
And then he considered the prospect of growing old with you, watching as your children eventually started families of their own while you found comfort in each other's company. All of these possibilities didn't seem so bad, because if anyone could understand him on a deep level, it was definitely you.
Maybe this crazy plan of yours wasn't so crazy after all.
"I... I guess it's not impossible," he finally admitted. Then, not wanting to seem too eager, he added, "Hypothetically speaking."
"Of course," you replied with a smile. "Hypothetically speaking."
Suddenly feeling flustered by your gaze, Spencer looked away and focused on his coffee, bringing the mug to his lips. Then you heard laughter and footsteps drawing closer, and soon Derek and Emily entered the room. Their eyes immediately landed on the two of you, sitting closely together at the table.
"What are you children whispering about?" Derek's voice interrupted, his eyebrows raised curiously as he glanced between you.
You didn't miss a beat. “Spencer and I are having a baby together."
Spencer choked on his coffee, his eyes widening in shock as he coughed and sputtered. You quickly moved to pat his back.
"Well, we're gonna get married first, right, Spence?" you added with a grin, glancing at him expectantly.
Spencer finally managed to regain his composure, clearing his throat awkwardly as he shot you a sideways glance. "Um, yeah, of course," he stammered, his cheeks still tinged with embarrassment. "Hypothetically."
Derek and Emily exchanged bemused glances, a silent conversation passing between them. Emily's curiosity seemed to win out as she lifted a hand, turning her attention back to you. "Care to explain?"
"We were discussing our backup plan."
"Backup plan?" Derek echoed. 
"Yeah," you replied with a nod. "In case neither of us finds the right person by the time we're, oh, I don't know, forty or so, we figured we'd marry each other and start a family."
Derek placed a hand over his chest, feigning hurt. "And you chose Pretty Boy over me?"
"I'm not going to compete with all your lady friends," you shot back, rising from your seat. "Come on, Spence, let's grab some lunch and brainstorm baby names."
He stood up, giving you a pointed look.
"Or do you want to discuss how we'd make those babies in the future?"
"Well, I was thinking of Amelia if it's a girl..."
You grinned, linking your arm through his before guiding him towards the door. Derek and Emily observed the natural closeness between you two, how you were practically clinging to him and how he seemed to be comfortable with it.
Derek turned to Emily as you disappeared down the hallway. "Do you think they'd actually get married when they hit forty?"
Emily shook her head. "Nope," she replied confidently. "I give it a year until he's already down on one knee."
He laughed, nodding in agreement. With the way Spencer's gaze lingered on you with unmistakable affection, it seemed like it was only a matter of time.
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angelhound · 1 year
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i think i have to start over my start over
#it is very strange and unreal to me to treat everyone i meet as trials that may or may not work out instead of like we are now chained#together by the throat because i feel. compassion for them#nothing works out forever and its because i am too liberal w the love giving#idk like theoretically. love can be me staying away from u because u aint act right. and i am doing that a lot lately but it is really odd#idk how to not feel like it means something to touch and be touched#i can explore intimacy deeper than my counterparts have ever before and then .. decide it is not going to work out regardless before i have#exhausted every possible way to make it work until either it Does or we are so sore theres nothing left to do but be done#i dont want to feel like i have this month#being that i am so frustrated with the way other people treat me i dont want to talk to anyone at all#obviously thats not right#but no one has done anything seriously wrong they just dont know what i know yet and therefore want something that i cannot give#and thats fine i really just want them to all succeed. but not by using my hands. it never works that way anyways you cannot do it for#someone. i used to wish i could because i felt deep sorrow for those who were lost. i would not even if you asked now#idk. a lot of my path right now is about experimenting what works and does not so i guess its fine that i keep being half wrong#i got distracted i was talking about. connecting. it still hurts to leave even when its been so short of time#i feel like im giving up on people. but its not my job to pull everyone out of drowning themselves and i cant even#the only true way i can help anyone is to get better and show you how. that is my gift i suppose. falling in holes so i can show u where#they are#allthough at heart i am an advocate of falling in your own holes i think it is a vital part of life and growing. i worded my analogy badly#i meant more… becoming light helps others to see their own. and especially for me i am good at verbal support/advice but i am exploring…#helping people without doing their heavy lifting for them. indirect methods. the more i am honest with myself and the world i hope it will#be meaningful. i want everyone to find it really. i think theres something so wrong with me and if there isnt its more confusing.#to feel the way i do all the time and have that be what is Right because it is so rare to see outside of me#if it is the truth then why is it nowhere else#i am fully aware it presents very narcissistically. to hear me say there is no one like me. or maybe you dont believe me idc. but i know im#not making it up because i was so desperate for my whole life to find someone and its really. not around. idk someone told me i am an#indigo child. but i know someone else who is and they are still … so confined to themselves in a way that i am just not#i gotta end this train of thought i can come to no conclusions if i cant pick a damn topic and rn clearly i cannot#there have been some who have come close to seeing but then they get stuck and i keep going#i hope that is not true forever because it is incredibly isolating to be a guiding star and not a human being
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luvyeni · 5 months
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❛BIRTHDAY BOY!❜ ( p. sunghoon )
💬nias note: for the birthday boy , i was gonna post it yesterday but i forgot.
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p. park sunghoon x exoticdancer!reader w. 1.6k+
— 𖦹 warnings. unprotected sex, oral ( m. receiving ), dirty talk, nothing special
— 𖦹 ( giving the birthday boy a few birthday wishes ) !
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“Trust Me"
Those two words coming from jakes mouth never sat right with him — especially when it had something to so with him personally. “I’ll handle your birthday, just get ready to have fun.”
He should’ve known what his friend was planning — knowing the boy for years, he should’ve known he was gonna pick the strip club. “Ta-da!” Jake stood outside the doors to the club. “A strip club?” Sunghoon said displeased. “Don’t say it like that, how many strip clubs do you go to.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t like strip clubs, he just never thought about going as often as his friends do. “Sunghoon just give it a try.” Heeseung said, patting his shoulder. “please, jake looked like he worked hard.”
Sunghoon gave in, the stood in the vip line — finally being let into their section, ordering a few bottles of his favorite alcohol. “Have fun , and let loose.” Jake said. “don’t be so uptight.”
Sunghoon decided to take their advice — it was his birthday he should have fun. He slowly started to let loose, refilling his cup multiple times as different girls came around, all different sizes, draped in beautiful lingerie’s. His friends had long gone forgotten they were celebrating them, entertaining multiple girls in the section.
“Are you not having fun?” A voice tore him from his thoughts. He turned ready  to turn down whoever it was when his voice was caught in his throat. “Most people come here to have fun.”
You were perfection, literally his dream girl. your soft voice and cute almost innocent smile — and your body, adorned in a baby sheer pink babydoll lingerie set, the boob cups covered in fluff. “Oh no I am.” He said taking a sip of his drink. “are you really?”
“Oh yn.” Jake words slurred as he held the waist of a girl who was sitting in his lap. “Hi jake.” You waved, jake was a regular. “Minhee isn’t here today, so no private dance for you.” You said. “That’s fine, today isn’t about me today anyway.” He pointed to the raven haired boy in front of you. “my  boy sunghoon, it’s his birthday today.”
Your eyes shifted back to the boy in front of you. “Is it?” He nodded. “Well happy birthday sunghoon.” You said gently touching his shoulder. “Thank you.” Jake sat his drink down, a mischievous smile on his lips. “Hey yn, why don’t you give the boy a private birthday show?” He dipped into his pocket pulling out his card. “Here, my treat.”
Sunghoon turned to his friend, ready to decline — but you already took his card. “Okay, im gonna go set up.” You walked away, his card in his hand. “Jake im gonna kill you.”
“Bro it’s a dance, and from yn of all people, you’re lucky as hell right now.” He said, he didn’t even have time to ask him before he was already explaining what he meant. “yn is famous around here, she doesn’t just do private shows for random people, she approaches you, not the other way around.”  He said. “She approached me my first time here, and I declined and they called me stupid every time I came back for the next 3 months.”
“That’s why you’re stuck with Minhee.” You made your return, handing jake his card back. “And I get your cuter friend.” You turned to sunghoon, sticking your hand out. “come.” You said with a sweet smile. “Go sunghoon, go have fun it’s your birthday.” Heeseung encouraged. “I don’t bite.” You said, he stood up taking your hand. “Unless you want me to.”
You guided him through the club, your hands stayed interlocked, his eyes were glued to your backside, the dress barely did anything to hide your pink thong. “I can feel you staring.” You walked down the hallway of the different private rooms. “Am I not allowed?”
“You are.” You said, squeezing his hand. “I hear you’re pretty famous around here.” He said. “I guess you could say that.” You responded with quickness. “Why is that?” You opened the door, he followed you inside. “I don’t know, maybe because im cute.” You titled your head smiling. “really? That’s it?”
“You don’t think so?” He nodded his head. “No I think you’re the cutest thing in this place.” He said. “Yeah?” You wrapped your arms around his neck. “Yup.” He said, placing his hands on your waist, the music was already playing, multi colored lights flashing.
You pushed him down on the couch, climbing into his lap. “Relax.” You said holding his shoulders. “It’s your birthday, let me take care of you.” You said, voice was so innocent — in contrast to the fact that you were basically grinding against him.
You swayed your hips to the music , normally you’d utilize the pole more — but he was different so you stayed close to him and sunghoon wasn’t complaining, in fact he was starting to see why you were pretty famous around here, you basically had two, personalities, that cute innocent act you put on was a fake — you were a tease.
You’d touch him just enough to make him want more, before you’d pull away leaving him to bite his lip, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “Fuck.” He sighed as you ran your hands down his stomach, stopping at his v-line, teasingly lifting his shirt. “oh fuck you’re killing me cutie.”
You smile, running your freshly manicured nails down his thighs. “what’s your birthday wish?” You said, climbing back into his lap. “What’s something you really want?” You pulled at his chain. “If I tell you, I’ll get thrown out of here princess.” You smirked, you had him right where you wanted him. “You don’t see any bouncers in here do you?”
“Tell me birthday boy.” You whispered in his ear, he hissed when you nipped at his lobe. “Fuck, right now my biggest wish is for you to get on your knees and put my cock in your pretty mouth.” He said, his voice deep, dripped in lust. “Yeah.” You stood up, slowly sinking to your knees , his eyes followed you. “Like this?” You looked up at him through your lashes. “Yeah.” He sighed.
You reached for his jeans, undoing the button — unzipping the jeans, he lifted his hips up, and you slowly pulled them down to his ankles. He was already hard, his bulge pressing against his underwear. “You’re so hard already.” You kissed his clothed cock. “Fuck princess, that’s because you’ve ben teasing me for 20 minutes.”
You took that as a hurry up, you freed his cock, grabbing the base of his cock stroking it. “Fu-fuck.” He cursed. “You’re little hands can barely fit around my fat cock baby.” He groaned— you kissed his tip, giving you a few kitty licks. “Fuck put it in your mouth now.” You listened, opening your mouth taking him in. “Shiiiit, that’s it.” He groaned. “take more of my cock."
You relaxed your throat, fully taking him in. “Oh shit.” He moaned as you bobbed your head up and down, gagging around his length. “To-took me down that pretty little throat so easily.” He grabbed your hair that was gathered in a ponytail, guiding your head on his cock. “Fuck im gonna cum.” He hissed, a minute later you felt his cum fill your mouth.
He pulled you of his cock, cum leaking from your mouth, he brought his thumb to your lips, pushing the cum back into your mouth. “good girl, swallow for me.” You swallowed  , sticking out your tongue.
“Do you have another wish?” He smirked. “oh you’re feeling generous tonight? You always this generous baby?” You shook your head no. “You’re the birthday boy.” He chuckled darkly. “Okay then get up.” He grabbed your forearm, standing you up, following behind you.
“Turn around.” He manhandled your body, pushing you down on the couch. “Fuck look at that ass.” You felt a sharp slap against your backside, squeezing your cheeks. “Sunghoon.” You moaned, holding the back of the couch as he pulled your thong to the side, pressing his cock against your ass. “Gonna fuck you.”
He grabbed the base of his cock, his tip kissed your cunt. “gonna split you open.” He pushed his cock fully in, moaning out. “Oh fuck you’re tight as hell.” He fully bottom out, pulling out, slamming back into you. “Oh fuck!” you screamed as he plowed into your sopping heat. “Fu-fuck you’re so big.”
“yeah.” He grunted, slapping your ass again. “you’re taking me like a champ baby -fuck- best fucking birthday gift.” He grunted , fucking into you harder, the walls were soundproof and you were glad cause you could definitely get in trouble, even though at the moment, you really didn’t care — more focused on your orgasm that was approaching fast. “Fuck sunghoon im gonna cum!”
He watched your ass bounce back against his pelvis, slapping it a few times. “Shit im cumming!” You screamed, your juices coating his cock. He kept thrusting — once; twice, before he pulled out jerking his cock off cumming on your ass. “Shit.”
“Did I make birthday better?” You asked. “Much better.” He asked. “Good, I don’t do this to everyone.” You said, wiping your lipstick off his neck. “You’re cute so you’re special enough.” He grabbed you by your waist pulling you close. “Special enough to let me take you out on a date?”
“You want to go on a date?” You said, you got asked on date daily, but normally by old men so you never accepted. “Yeah, it can be my last birthday wish.” He smiled cheekily, you smiled.
“okay birthday boy i'll go on a date with you.”
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©️LUVYENI
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rogueddie · 6 months
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Eddie couldn't take his eyes off of the ugliest, evil looking polo top that he's ever had the misfortune to lay his eyes upon. It's everything he hates in one piece of clothing, so horrible that he'd gagged at it when he'd first seen it.
His friends had laughed, agreeing that the top is an abomination and crime against humanity.
But Eddie couldn't stop looking at it.
It's the exact type of thing that Steve would wear. It's the type of thing he would love and brag about.
Even though the party, with the help of Robin, have been trying to 'fix' Steve and his taste. They're currently targetting his wardrobe and they're almost wearing him down enough to get him to stop wearing so many polos.
It's making Eddie feel... conflicted.
He agrees that Steves taste is horrible. He listens to bad pop music most of the time, he has no sense of fashion and loves romance so much that he thinks awful rom-coms are the height of cinema.
But it's Steve. Those things are what make him so... Steve.
He sneaks back to the top when his friends aren't looking, crouching behind racks to get to the till and quickly buy it. He buries it in the bottom of his bag, ignoring the bored and judgemental look the staff are giving him.
"There you are," Gareth squints at him when he rejoins them. "Where did you go?"
"Fainted," he sneers, throwing an arm around Jeffs shoulders. "All these neons and pop are making me dizzy."
They laugh, quickly moving on.
After dropping them off, he goes straight to Steves house. He doesn't want the ugly shirt on his person longer than necessary and the last thing he needs is someone finding it in his closet.
He nearly cheers when he pulls up to Steves house and his parents car isn't parked out front.
They'd only caught him in their house once, when they'd come home early, and he's sure he only escaped with his life because the entire party was there too.
"Eddie?" Steve frowns when he opens the door. "What are you doing here? Are you ok?"
"Yeah, fine, just..." he huffs, rubbing his eyes. He digs through the bag, grabbing the offending shirt, and throwing it at Steve. "Got you that. I thought- whatever. There. Good night."
"Woah, woah," Steve quickly catches his arm. "It's ok, man. If the others ask then I'll say I got it. It's... this is really nice, Eds."
"It's ugly."
"Sure," Steve snorts, looking back to the shirt. "But it's definitely my style. This really means a lot to me. I think it looks cool."
"Uh, yeah, I guessed," Eddie shifts, squirming with how genuine Steve is being. "It's just a polo."
"No, it's not. It's special to me."
"Right, because you think that pattern is 'so-"
"You saw it and thought of me. Like, you hate it, but you knew I'd like it and... it just means a lot to me, that you're thinking of me."
"Alright, it's just a shirt, calm down."
"No, I don't think I will," Steve gently tugs him inside so he can shut the door. "I get it if this is difficult for you but I'm getting impatient."
"If- what?"
"Do you need me to make the first move? Or- is this a move? Is your love language gift giving or something?"
"You've lost me."
Steve huffs, putting his hands on his hips and giving Eddie a look that he can only describe as 'disappointed parent'.
"We've been flirting for months and you haven't done anything about it." Steve falters quickly when he sees the shock on Eddies face. "Or... am I missing something? Is it the whole, like... keeping it secret thing? Because I don't mind! It's not safe to be out in Hawkins, I know, and I'm not expecting a big date at-"
"You knew that I was flirting with you," Eddie interrupts. "This whole time?"
"Well, yeah, I was also flirting with you."
Eddie stares at him for a moment. "And you've been waiting for me to make a move on you?"
"Exactly. Was I not being obvious enough? I didn't want to out you or anything..."
"No... in retrospect you were being very clear. All of Robins cryptic advice makes so much sense now. Oh, God, even Wayne figured it out."
2K notes · View notes
sunkissed-zegras · 8 months
Text
✮ 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡, jack hughes
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♡ ─ word count | 10.7k (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. UM?? MB?? got a bit carried away with this one sorry y'all)
♡ ─ summary | y/n had always been in love with jack since she was a kid, but he had always chosen everyone else but her.
♡ ─ warnings | kind of mark estapa x reader as well but guess who she chooses in the end??? unedited (i'll edit in the morning y'all i just wanna get this out ASAP) SOOO MUCH ANGST OML, childhood best friends trope, unrequited love (for the most part), description of sex (like two sentences u could blink and it's gone), lots of cursing, fighting (sm of it), asshole!jack, idk they may be more but i'm lazy (promise they're not bad if i'm not mentioning them rn)
♡ ─ taglist | @valluvsu (check link in navigation for taglist form if you are interested!)
♡ ─ ev's notes | WHOOOHOOO! it's finally done yayyaa, i got this done in like two days bc i was so excited. jack hughes is very much gold rush coded, pls argue with the wall if you disagree. but anyway! this is a long one, so strap in!!! so much feelings in one fic lol i'm done, but i'm actually very proud of myself. as always, i'm open to respectful critics as i love to improve my writing for you all!! anyways, pls enjoy this fucking novel LMAOO, and let me know your thoughts!!!
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Jack Hughes had always been the most beautiful person you'd ever seen.
Not just physically, he'd always been one of the sweetest people you'd ever met. He genuinely cared about how you were feeling and listened attentively when you spoke. His kindness and compassion were qualities that drew you to him from the very beginning.
But it wasn't just his sweet personality that captivated you; it was the way he looked at you with those mesmerizing eyes, filled with warmth and kindness. Whenever he gazed into your eyes, it felt like he was seeing straight into your soul, understanding you in a way that no one else ever had. But never in the way that you wanted.
Every time he smiled, it lit up the room any room he was in, and your heart simultaneously. His laughter was infectious, and being around him brought a sense of joy and happiness that was unparalleled.
He'd always been the special one in the room, with his skills on the ice or his undeniable beauty. It wasn't Jack's fault that he had such an effect on people; it was simply a consequence of his charm and charisma. What sometimes made you feel inadequate was the way other girls looked at him, with admiration and longing in their eyes.
Every time you saw him with those adoring eyes gazing at another girl, it was like a dagger to your heart. What hurt most though, was the way he looked back at them. His gaze held a attraction and desire that you craved, but it was a warmth he reserved for them, not ever for you.
You couldn't fault him for it; he couldn't control where his heart led him. You watched him from a distance, silently cheering him on in his pursuits of happiness, even when it meant seeing him with someone else.
Yet, despite the pain it caused you, you couldn't help but be there for him when he needed it. Whenever he faced heartbreak or disappointment, you were the one he turned to for comfort and understanding. It was bittersweet, being the person he leaned on while secretly thinking how you could never ever hurt him the way those other girls did. Your heart ached every time he told you about his the girls, and you would listen attentively, offering advice and consolation. You wanted to be the one to mend his broken heart, to make him see that you were right there, loving him in a way no one else ever could. But you kept those feelings locked away, hidden beneath the guise of friendship.
And you knew he loved you, he truly did. He would just never love you the way you'd always wanted. You felt selfish for wanting more. He was already yours in some regard, others would dream of being that close to the Jack Hughes. You were already an important part of his life, someone he trusted and cared about. Being close to Jack Hughes in any capacity was a dream come true for most, and you felt incredibly fortunate to have him as a friend.
But deep down, you couldn't help the longing that tugged at your heartstrings. You couldn't help the desire for something more, something that went beyond friendship. It was a complex mix of emotions, and you grappled with the guilt of wanting something that might change the dynamic between you two.
It was hard seeing him repeating those mistakes over and over again, and him running back to you wishing he had someone to love him fully and truly, for who he was. You often found yourself on the verge of screaming, wanting to shout, "What about me? Don't you see what's right in front of you?!" But you remained silent, as you always did, playing the role of the understanding friend who listened without judgment.
And each time he came to you with a broken heart, you wished he could recognize the depth of your love, the unwavering support you offered, and the fact that you were right there, ready to love him fully and unconditionally. But it seemed that he was blind to your feelings, or perhaps he was simply too caught up in his own search for love to notice what was right in front of him.
It seemed everyone else saw how much you loved him, Quinn giving you sympathetic smiles and Luke giving you advice. They saw the way you looked at Jack when he wasn't watching, the way your eyes held a mixture of adoration and hurt. They noticed how you were always there for him, ready to offer a comforting word or a reassuring hug when he needed it the most. It wasn't just your words or actions that revealed your love; it was the unwavering presence you provided in his life.
And so, you continued to sit still and listen, even when every fiber of your being screamed for him to see you, to love you, and to choose you. Your love for him remained a silent, unspoken truth, buried deep within your heart as you watched him repeat his relationship mistakes, hoping that one day, he would finally realize the love that had always been right beside him.
He was always grateful for your presence and care until he wasn't. Until he started taking you for granted, choosing his shiny new friends over you.
The pain of unrequited love was compounded by the feeling of being cast aside, as if your friendship and support no longer held the same value they once did. You couldn't help but wonder if he had forgotten all the times you had been there for him, the countless moments you had shared.
It was a painful realization that the person you loved so deeply was no longer the same person who had once cherished you. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to walk away, holding onto the hope that one day he would remember the bond you had shared and the love that had always been there, waiting for him to see.
──
"Where have you been?!" Ellen, Jack's mom, exclaimed as you walked into the Hughes' lake house. She immediately walked over to you, embracing you tightly.
Over the past couple months, you had declined numerous invitations to Hughes family events over the past couple of months. You had told them that school was taking up most of your time, which was partly true. In reality, you just didn't want to see Jack.
"Just busy with school," you replied, returning her embrace warmly. Ellen Hughes had always been like a second mother to you, and her genuine concern warmed your heart.
Ellen held you at arm's length, her kind eyes studying your face. "You know, you don't have to disappear just because of school, sweetheart. You're always welcome here, no matter what."
Her words tugged at your heartstrings. You knew the Hughes family cared about you deeply, and it pained you to distance yourself from them as well. "I appreciate that, Ellen. It's just been a hectic semester, but I promise I'll make more time for you guys."
The bond between you and the Hughes family ran deep. You had known Jack and his brothers since childhood, and your connection had only grown stronger over the years. You were there for them through thick and thin, and they, in turn, had become an integral part of your life. You'd been close with the family since you were young, you'd been there for the brothers since day one.
From building sandcastles at the beach during summer vacations to sharing secrets by the campfire during family camping trips, your memories with the Hughes brothers were countless. Ellen and Jim Hughes had always treated you like one of their own, and you felt a sense of belonging that was unmatched anywhere else.
As the years passed and feelings grew more complex, you found yourself at a crossroads. You had always been there for Jack, offering your support and friendship without reservation. However, as your feelings for him had deepened, it had become increasingly challenging to hide your true feelings. You couldn't risk damaging the close-knit relationship you had with the Hughes family, especially when you knew Jack didn't share the same romantic feelings.
So, you made the difficult decision to take a step back, to create some distance in the hope that you could regain control over your heart. It wasn't an easy choice, and it meant missing out on moments with the family that had become a second home to you.
Ellen smiled, her eyes twinkling with understanding. "We've missed you, sweetheart. And I know someone else who's been missing you too."
Your heart skipped a beat at her words, and you couldn't help but wonder if Jack had noticed your absence more than you had expected.
"Luke! Sweetheart, look who's decided to show up!''
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me. Of course it wasn't Jack.
Your heart sank as Luke, Jack's younger brother, bounded into the room with excitement. You were confused, you loved Luke equally as Jack (you tried to convince yourself), but Luke wasn't exactly the most enthusiastic person when it came to you. Now, you knew something was up.
"Hey, you," Luke said with a warm smile, giving you a bear hug that nearly squeezed the air out of your lungs.
"Hey, Lukey," you replied, returning his hug with a raised eyebrow. Luke's behavior was unusual, and you couldn't help but wonder if something was going on.
As Luke pulled away, he scrutinized your expression. "You've been MIA for a while. School must really have you swamped."
You nodded, not trusting your voice to betray the mix of emotions you were feeling. Luke was perceptive, and you wondered if he had picked up on your recent distance.
Thankfully, Ellen chimed in, rescuing you from the awkward moment. "Well, we're just glad she's here now! Dinner will be ready soon, so you two catch up while I finish up in the kitchen."
With that, Ellen left you and Luke alone, and you couldn't shake the feeling that Luke's sudden warmth and attention meant that something was amiss in the Hughes household.
"What's up?" You cleared your throat, looking at Luke with a knowing expression.
"Well we all know why you've been really gone," Luke sighed as he glared at you. "You don't have to cut us all of just because Jack got a girlfriend."
"Jack got a girlfriend?" That felt like a dagger to the stomach. Luke's expression, once irritated, softened into one of sympathy as he nodded slowly.
"He didn't... tell you?"
You shook your head, struggling to find your voice. A whirlwind of emotions swirled within you – hurt, confusion, and the sting of betrayal. Jack hadn't confided in you about something as significant as this, and it hurt more than you cared to admit.
"Who is she?" you finally managed to ask, your voice a mere whisper.
Luke hesitated, as if debating how much to reveal. "Her name's Nicole," he began cautiously. "They've been dating for a few months now. It's been pretty serious, which is probably why he didn't want to... you know, complicate things."
You listened to Luke's explanation about Jack and Nicole while a storm of emotions raged within you. The pain of knowing Jack was in a serious relationship was difficult to bear, and the fact that he hadn't told you himself only added to your hurt. You felt like an outsider in his life, someone he had pushed aside.
But then, Luke's words took an unexpected turn, and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "But that doesn't matter now, you have to move on and I have the perfect guy for you," he said, his tone surprisingly enthusiastic.
Oh, now everything made sense. It was clear that Luke had an ulterior motive, and you couldn't help but feel a little exasperated. "Luke, I appreciate your concern, but I don't think I'm ready for that kind of thing right now," you replied, trying to be polite even though you didn't appreciate the idea of being set up with one of his friends.
They were all fuck-boys from what you've heard. Luke would go into great detail every time you'd call him for an update. You had heard enough stories about Luke's friends to know that they were often more interested in casual relationships than anything serious.
"They were all fuck-boys from what you've told me," you said with a wry smile. Luke had a tendency to share his escapades in great detail, and you couldn't help but be amused by his candidness.
Luke chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, well, they can be a handful sometimes, but I promise this guy is different. He's actually a pretty decent guy, and I think you'd get along. Would I ever set you up for failure, Y/N?"
You raised an eyebrow, still skeptical. "And what's in it for you, Luke? Why are you so invested in setting me up with your friend?"
Luke's expression shifted, and for a moment, he looked genuinely serious. "Because I hate seeing you like this, distant from the family and hurting because of Jack. I just want you to be happy."
His words touched your heart, and you couldn't help but soften a bit. Luke may have had ulterior motives, but it seemed that his concern for your well-being was genuine.
"And um, well, I have a thing for his cousin." Luke cleared his throat and you couldn't help but playfully roll your eyes.
A playful smile tugged at your lips as Luke admitted his own motives. "Ah, I see how it is. A bit of matchmaking for both of us, then?"
Luke grinned, his boyish charm on full display. "Exactly! We help each other out, and everyone's happy."
You chuckled, feeling a sense of warmth and camaraderie with Luke. "Alright, fine Luke. Jeez, the things I do for you."
Luke laughed, appreciating your willingness to humor him. "You're the best, Y/N. You won't regret it, I promise."
──
Dinner had been ready and Ellen decided dinner would be fun outside. The sun was setting, casting a warm, golden glow over the lake, and the sound of crickets filled the air as the family gathered around a long, rustic wooden table set up on the deck, the same one they'd had a decade ago, when you were children.
You took a seat next in between Luke and Jim, Quinn across from you two and Jack nowhere to be found. Before you could ask, your question was answered.
"Where's Jack?" Ellen asked as she sat next to her husband.
"With Nicole," Luke and Quinn had mumbled in response as they both took knowing glances at you. You couldn't help but sigh, would you always be known the girl who's helplessly in love with Jack?
"Wow, you really outdid yourself, Ellen with this chicken. What did you do?" You tried to change the topic with a smile, as you ate dinner.
Ellen beamed at your compliment, clearly pleased that you appreciated her cooking. "Oh, I found it on the TikTok, it was amazing and so easy! You should start making it, it's so easy for school."
The conversation shifted towards discussing recipes and school, and you found it easier to participate in the lighthearted chatter. As the evening went on, you made an effort to focus on the present moment, enjoying the warmth of the Hughes family and pushing aside thoughts of Jack and his new relationship.
After dinner, you and Quinn helped Ellen with the dishes and you found yourself in deep conversation with them. The warmth of their company, along with the shared memories and laughter, made you realize that distancing yourself from the Hughes family wasn't the right course of action. They had been a significant part of your life for so long, and you cherished the bond you shared with them.
You were so engaged in conversation that you didn't hear footsteps that entered the kitchen.
"Hey,"
The sound of the familiar voice calling out "Hey" made your heart skip a beat. You turned around to find Jack standing there, a somewhat sheepish expression on his face. It had been a while since you'd seen him, and the mix of emotions stirred within you once more. And next to him, you assumed to be "Nicole." She looked sweet and you forced a smile at her.
"Hey," you replied, your voice friendly and polite as you acknowledged both Jack and Nicole. You couldn't help but notice the way they stood close to each other, the subtle intertwining of their fingers, and the affectionate glances they exchanged. It was a painful reminder of the gap that had grown between you and Jack.
"Hi, I'm Nicole," she introduced herself with a warm smile.
"Nice to meet you, Nicole. I'm Y/N," you replied, extending a hand for a friendly shake.
"Yeah, I know. These two don't ever stop talking about you." She laughed playfully and you felt heart start beating faster at the prospect of Jack talking about you to his girlfriend.
"Well it was mostly me─" Quinn tried to intervene before you laughed along with her, he was trying to soften the blow.
"Really? Well that's sweet," you replied with a warm smile, even though a small part of you wished Jack would stop talking about you to his girlfriend. It was a complex blend of emotions, wanting to be close to him but also wanting to distance yourself from the heartache.
Ellen smiled, "Well now that you're here, you all can finish the dishes and catch up,"
You nodded, "Okay, sure. Go relax, Ellen."
"Yep, and me." Before you could protest, Quinn left. He certainly didn't want to be there once you started "catching up." You cursed at Quinn in your head as he left the kitchen, alone with Jack and his girlfriend.
The clinking of dishes filled the kitchen as you, Jack, and Nicole worked together on the task at hand. You decided to break the silence with some light conversation.
"So, Nicole, how did you and Jack meet?" you asked, genuinely curious about their relationship.
Nicole smiled, her eyes lighting up. "We actually met at one of his hockey games. My friend had an extra ticket, and I've always been a fan of hockey, so I decided to go. I didn't know I'd end up meeting Jack Hughes in person but now, here we are!"
Jack nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it was a lucky coincidence. We hit it off right away."
"That's so sweet, right out of a book." You laughed and she nodded, blushing. You couldn't help but smile at their story, even though it felt like a bittersweet reminder of what could never be. You were genuinely happy for Jack, and yet, a part of you couldn't help but wish for a different outcome.
Nicole blushed at your comment, clearly smitten with Jack. "Yeah, it does feel a bit like a fairy tale sometimes," she admitted.
"So, Y/N, what have you been up to lately?" Jack cleared his throat, breaking the conversation away from their relationship. You both gazed at one another and you suddenly felt empty. It had never been like this between you two, he never asked what you'd been up to because he always known.
You forced a smile, your chest feeling heavy as you replied, "Oh, you know, just keeping busy with school and spending time with family." It was a vague response, deliberately leaving out the part about missing him. You didn't want to make things awkward, and you certainly didn't want to burden him with your own emotions.
Jack nodded, seemingly accepting your answer. "That's good to hear. School can be pretty demanding, I bet."
"Yeah, it keeps me on my toes," you replied, trying to keep the conversation light. It was becoming increasingly clear that the dynamic between you and Jack had changed, and it was going to take some time to adjust to this new reality.
Before he could respond, Luke came into the kitchen and he immediately looked like he regretted it. He forced a smile, "Um, is there any ice cream in the... fridge?"
You couldn't help but chuckle at Luke's somewhat awkward entrance. It was clear he was trying to give you and Jack some space, even though the tension in the room was palpable.
"Luke, you know where the ice cream is," you replied with a knowing look, amusement dancing in your eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, I just... thought I'd ask," Luke stammered before quickly retreating from the kitchen, leaving you, Jack, and Nicole alone once more.
As the last dish was placed in the drying rack, you couldn't help but glance at Jack, his profile highlighted by the soft kitchen light. He turned to you with a smile.
"Anyways, Trevor and Alex are coming tomorrow, you excited to see them?" Jack added with a friendly tone, trying to bridge the awkward gap that had formed during your conversation.
You nodded, appreciating the effort he was making to include you despite the new circumstances. "Yeah, it'd be nice to catch up with them. I haven't talked to 'em in a while."
All three of you exited the kitchen and you went to go find Quinn to give him a lecture. That was until you felt your phone buzz with a text message,
luke my friends are here they wanna meet u
Before you could type your answer, Luke gave you another text.
lukejack and his gf aren't here. just come 😑
You rolled your eyes at his attitude and quickly went to go find him and his friends. You quickly found them by the pool and you opened the sliding door, his friends whipped their heads to take a look at you.
"Hey, Luke," you greeted him with a smile, momentarily ignoring the curious glances. "You wanted me to meet your friends?"
"Well you said yourself you wanted to meet 'em earlier," Luke nodded and you got the memo.
You nodded and smiled, deciding to go along with Luke's plan. After all, it was a chance to distract yourself from the complicated situation with Jack and his new girlfriend. Luke's friends seemed friendly enough, and you were always open to making new acquaintances.
"I'm pretty sure you've met Ethan and Dylan before,"
You nodded politely. You had met them when you had helped him move in a few months ago and they were nice enough. "Yeah, nice to see you guys again."
"Yeah, you too." They replied in union, making you laugh.
"And this is Mark," Luke glanced knowingly at you and you instantly knew that this was the guy who had developed a crush on you.
When Luke introduced Mark, you couldn't help but notice the subtle shift in his friends' expressions. It was clear that Mark's crush on you wasn't a well-kept secret among their group. You offered Mark a friendly smile, wanting to make him feel comfortable despite the awkwardness of the situation.
"Nice to meet you, Mark," you said, extending a hand for a handshake. "Luke's told me a lot about you guys."
Mark's cheeks turned a faint shade of pink as he shook your hand. "Yeah, he's talked about you too."
Luke sat back down and you took a seat next to him, right across from Mark. "Oh does he?" You teased him.
Luke, attempting to play it cool, shrugged nonchalantly. "Just mentioned how nice you are, no big deal."
Ethan and Dylan exchanged knowing glances, trying to suppress their laughter. It was evident to everyone at the table that there was more to Luke's mention than he let on.
"Nice?" You couldn't help but laugh and exchange glances with Mark, a grin on his face. He was cute, you had to admit that. He was exactly your type, he looked sweet and had a cute smile. Maybe Luke was a pretty good matchmaker, so far.
"Yeah, he told us how cool you were. And then he showed us your instagram and all of us fell in love," Ethan mentioned, quickly pausing and glancing at Mark before continuing. "Well not in love but we all thought you were pretty. Well, I mean you are but like-"
"I get it," You laughed at his nervous rambling. You took another glance at Mark and gave him a smile, his cheeks turning even redder (somehow).
The table erupted in laughter, and it was clear that everyone was having a good time. Even Mark seemed to have settled into the friendly atmosphere, and you couldn't deny the chemistry you felt with him. It was lighthearted and fun, a welcome distraction from the complicated feelings you had for Jack.
As the night wore on, you noticed that Ethan, Luke, and Dylan began to exchange glances and sharing quiet conversations. It was clear that they had some sort of plan in mind, and you couldn't help but wonder what they were up to. You decided to play along, knowing that whatever they had in store was likely meant to bring you and Mark closer and anything would help to make you forget about Jack.
"Hey, Mark, do you want to check out the lake?" you suggested, giving him a sweet smile. The lake house had always been a place of fond memories for you, and it would be a great opportunity to spend some time alone with Mark.
Mark's face lit up. "Sure, that sounds like a great idea, let's go."
You excused yourselves from the table, and as you walked towards the sliding glass door that led to the lake, you couldn't help but notice the mischievous smiles on Ethan, Luke, and Dylan's faces. They were clearly up to something, you tried to ignore their expressions.
Once outside, the two of you made your way down to the edge of the lake. The moon reflected on the calm water, casting a romantic glow.
"So, Y/N, tell me more about yourself," Mark began, his voice soft and inviting.
You smiled, feeling a sense of warmth in the cool summer night air. "Well, there's not much to tell, really." You chuckled before continuing, "Just trying to finish up school and move to Europe."
Mark's eyes widened with curiosity. "Europe? That sounds amazing. What's drawing you there?"
You gazed at the shimmering reflection of the moon on the lake, lost in thought for a moment. "I don't know, these past months have been hard. And I never thought about moving out of the states but recently, I just wanna let go and start fresh, you know?"
Mark nodded, understanding what you meant. "I get that, a change of scenery can help with that feeling."
You sighed, feeling a sense of relief in opening up to Mark. "Exactly. I just want to explore new horizons, experience different cultures, and maybe find a new perspective on life."
"I've always wanted to go to France, I know it's basic but I heard they had good hot chocolate and had to try it." Mark smiled down at you and you couldn't help but let out a soft laugh.
"That doesn't sound basic at all," you replied with a grin. "I would love to visit France, even if it is every person's dream."
Mark chuckled, his eyes locked onto yours. "Maybe we can both make our way to Europe someday. Who knows, our paths might cross in a cozy café in Paris."
The idea painted a vivid picture in your mind, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to indulge in the possibility. "That sounds like a dream."
A sudden breeze began to pick up and you felt yourself shiver and Mark noticed. Without saying another word, he took off his jacket and quickly wrapped it around your shoulder.
It was a cliche, you know that. But as you looked at Mark, you felt a sense of warmth that had nothing to do with the jacket. His kindness and consideration made your heart skip a beat, something you hadn't experienced in a while. You smiled at him gratefully, the cool breeze forgotten as you were wrapped in his warmth.
"Thank you, Mark," you said softly, your eyes meeting his. In that moment, under the moonlight by the lake, you felt a connection that was unlike anything you had experienced in a long time.
Mark smiled back at you, his eyes holding a glint of something more. "Anytime, Y/N."
As the night wore on, your conversation with Mark flowed effortlessly, you found yourself drawn further into Mark's world, and the thought of Jack and his complicated situation faded into the background even if only for that night. In Mark's company, you were starting to feel a glimmer of hope for the fresh start you had been yearning for.
──
You awoke with the sound of laughter. Your eyes opened groggily and you felt your back scream in pain and it took a minute to realize exactly where you were.
You laid on Mark's chest, a blanket laid out on the both of you. You were on the couch and the memories of last night quickly flooded back into your head.
"Aww, Marky, you got yourself a girlfriend finally!" Ethan exclaimed as Mark tried to cover your face with the blanket, an (failed) attempt to not to wake you. They hadn't noticed you were awake.
"Ha ha ha, so funny." Mark mumbled in false amusement as he yawned.
You decided to remain quiet, pretending to still be asleep, curious to hear how Mark would handle the situation. A smile stretched your lips as you continued to eavesdrop.
"Seriously though, Mark, she's pretty," Dylan chimed in. "You two looked really cozy last night."
"Yeah, yeah," Mark replied, his tone still somewhat defensive. "We were just talking. You guys are reading too much into it."
"Sure, Mark, whatever you say," Ethan teased, and you could practically hear the grin in his voice. "Just talking, my ass."
"My clothes are still on, right?" Mark groaned quietly. "Could you guys be quiet, she's sleeping."
"Awww, Marky!" Ethan let out a booming laugh and you took that as your cue to 'wake up.'
You let out a yawn and pushed down the blanket from your face and they all quieted down. "Good... morning?"
"You have a good sleep last night?" Ethan teased and you tried to ignore the warm feeling in your cheeks as you got up from the couch. Mark frowned as you got up, feeling his body get cool.
You stretched your arms and stifled another yawn before responding to Ethan's teasing. "Yeah, it was quite comfortable here, actually."
"I bet," Ethan replied as he wiggled his eyebrows and you rolled your eyes.
"Okay, well, I'm going to brush my teeth."
"Wait, let's go eat first." Mark quickly replied, making Dylan and Ethan exchange glances.
"Before... brushing my teeth?" You smiled at that. He was cute, for sure.
"Yeah, Mark, let her go brush her teeth. Knowing what you two did-"
"Shut up," Mark groaned as you let out a chuckle. "Yeah, go brush your teeth."
You nodded and walked away from the living room, quickly ascending up the stairs and into the bathroom. The smile hadn't left your face and you felt like absolutely nothing could ruin your mood.
Well, you were wrong.
As you brushed your teeth happily, you heard the familiar noise in the next room other. The rhythmic banging, the moaning─
Oh no, you thought to yourself. You felt your stomach twist in disgust as let out an audible gag. The room next to the bathroom was Jack's and the only couple in the entire house was Jack and Nicole. You connected the dots and you suddenly felt nauseous.
You spit your paste and quickly rinsed your mouth. You needed to get out of there immediately. As you walked out of the bathroom, you bumped into one person you did not want to see.
"Oh shoot, sorry."
You looked up to see Nicole. She looked tired, her red hair messy and her neck filled with marks. They were obviously busy last night and you tried to push the visual of them having sex out of your mind as you forced a smile. "No, you're totally good."
She smiled and gave your shoulder a pat before walking to the bathroom. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and let your shoulders fall as you walked down the stairs.
You smelled hash browns in the air, your favorite, but somehow you still felt sick to your stomach. The imagery was still stuck in your head, you felt disgusting.
You made your way to the dining table and took a seat next to Quinn, crossing your arms and he immediately knew what was wrong. Your disgusted facial expression, your annoyed attitude, everything.
"They're like fucking bunnies," Quinn mumbled to you and you looked back at him with a nod. He looked tired, too. It looked like they kept him up and you were suddenly grateful you slept downstairs, even with the ache in your lower back. He put a hand on your shoulder in comfort. "Hey, if it makes you better, he lasts about a few minutes. You wouldn't want that."
His unusual teasing tone still didn't make you better, you knew Quinn was trying his best to make you feel better. You forced a smile and nodded, "Yeah. That's gross."
"What's gross?"
You turned your head to see Jack; his disheveled appearance making you gag internally, knowing what you know. You made eye contact for a few seconds before averting your gaze to the table.
"Nothing, buddy." Quinn responded with a smirk and they both exchanged a laugh. Jack then, took a seat right across from you. Now you literally couldn't move your gaze anywhere else without making it obvious.
Quinn seemed determined to keep the mood light, though, and he continued with the banter. "I heard you and Mark spent the night together last night."
There was a pause and a few awkward glances before he continued, "Um, not like that."
Jack looked directly at you and he had unreadable expression on his face. Confusion? Annoyance? Jealousy? Maybe a mix of all three.
"Well, we just-"
Before you continue you heard Ethan and Dylan's booming laughter as they entered the dining room, plates in their hands. They immediately exchanged glances as they realized who was in the room before putting sitting down with their plates.
"Your mom has food in the kitchen, if you guys... want any." Ethan tried to diffuse the tension as he smiled and looked at Dylan. "Mark's in there, Y/N."
As you got up to find Mark, you couldn't help but exchange a glance with Jack. His expression was hard to decipher – there was a mix of emotions, but it was clear that the mention of you spending the night with Mark had affected him in some way. You couldn't dwell on it for too long, though, as you headed to the kitchen to find Mark.
In the kitchen, you found Mark helping himself to some breakfast. He looked up and gave you a warm smile as you entered. "Hey, good morning."
He quickly noticed your expression and he turned to you with confusion, "Everything okay?"
You nodded, trying to shake off the lingering discomfort from the dining room. "Yeah, just... things got a bit awkward in there. Thanks for last night, by the way."
Mark chuckled, handing you a plate of food. "No problem at all. It was fun."
As you both made your way back to the dining room, you couldn't help but wonder what the day had in store for you, especially with the lingering tension between you and Jack.
You sat down next to Quinn as Mark quickly made his way to the empty seat next to you. Finally, everyone started piling into the dining room and everyone started eating.
The atmosphere in the dining room remained tense as everyone continued eating. Nicole was sitting next to Jack and noticed the slight change in him, he seemed more... moody. You tried your best to focus on your plate and engage in conversation with those around you, but it was hard with Jack's presence so close.
As the meal progressed, you felt Jack's gaze on you, a burning sensation that you couldn't ignore. Finally, after a while, Jack spoke up, his tone casual as he said, "So, Y/N, Mark seemed like a nice guy. How long have you known him?"
Mark exchanged a glance between the two of you, choosing peace and continued to eat.
His seemingly innocent question struck a nerve. You knew he was deliberately bringing up Mark to gauge your reaction, and it irritated you. Trying to maintain your composure, you replied, "Just met last night."
Jack's eyebrows raised slightly, a hint of surprise in his expression as he processed your response. It seemed your terse reply had caught him off guard. Mark continued to eat quietly, not wanting to get caught up in the tension.
After a moment of silence, Jack cleared his throat, attempting to sound nonchalant but failing to hide a hint of sarcasm. "Well, you two certainly seemed close for people who just met." Before you could respond, he continued under his breath, "Didn't know you were that easy."
Quinn kicked Jack's leg under the table and Nicole seemed distressed, too.
You bit your tongue. You clenched your fork tightly, your frustration mounting. "We were just having a conversation, Jack. Is that not allowed?"
Jack's gaze didn't waver as he replied, "Of course it is, Y/N. Just making conversation here because apparently I don't know anything about you anymore."
That really struck a move. He didn't know anything about you anymore? Jack's words hit you like a dagger to the heart. The pain and frustration were evident in his tone, and you could sense the turmoil in his emotions. It was clear that your distancing had affected him more than you had realized.
The tension at the table was palpable as everyone watched the exchange between you and Jack. Quinn cleared his throat, trying to mediate. "Guys, can we not do this right now?"
You felt yourself get more heated as you heard Ellen say something but you couldn't even comprehend it, that's how angry you were. Without thinking, you pushed your chair back and got up from the table. Your voice was strained with anger as you addressed Jack.
"Do you have no idea what it's been like for me, Jack?" You couldn't help but raise your voice, your pent-up emotions pouring out. "You just assume things and make stupid comments, but you don't know the half of it. This distance isn't just about you, it's about me trying to protect myself too."
The room was now filled with an uncomfortable silence, and it was clear that your outburst had taken everyone by surprise. Nicole placed a comforting hand on Jack's arm, silently pleading for him to let it go. Mark, too, looked uncomfortable, not wanting to be caught in the middle of this argument.
Jack's expression had shifted from surprise to a mix of anger and hurt as he absorbed your words. He clenched his jaw, clearly struggling to find the right response. Nicole's gentle touch on his arm seemed to be a calming influence, and he took a deep breath before speaking, his voice more controlled.
Ellen, sensing that the situation had become too tense, interjected again, her voice gentle but firm.
"Let's all take a step back, please? Y/N, sweetheart, maybe you could use a little breather, and we can all reconvene when things have calmed down."
You felt embarrassed as you looked around the room, all eyes seemingly on you and Jack. Feeling the weight of everyone's eyes on you, you nodded, your initial anger having dissipated into a mix of regret and awkwardness. You understood that your outburst had been uncharacteristic and uncomfortable with everyone there. With a forced smile, you mumbled an apology.
"Yeah, maybe I do need a little breather. Sorry about that, everyone." You turned away from the table and quickly exited the dining room. Outside, the fresh air greeted you, and you took a moment to collect your thoughts.
As you stood there, lost in thought, you couldn't help but wonder if there was any way to mend the growing rift between you and Jack, or if it was time to accept that things might never be the same again.
You stayed outside and spent the most of the day alone, outside in the pool trying to get a tan. The boys had all been playing pool inside and you were glad alone.
The sun beat down on you as you lounged by the pool, trying to soak in the warmth and forget about the tension from earlier. The sound of laughter from inside the house was a stark contrast to the solitude you sought outside.
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to clear your mind. The cool water of the pool offered a refreshing escape from the heat, and you decided to take a dip to cool off and clear your thoughts.
As you swam in the crystal-clear water, you couldn't help but replay the argument with Jack in your mind. It weighed heavily on your heart, and you wondered if there was a way to make amends and rebuild the bond you had once shared.
"Hey,"
You let out a yelp as you heard Mark's voice and he let out a soft laugh as he walked over to the pool, dipping his legs into the pool.
"Hey," you laughed, pushing a wet strand of hair out of your face. "Sorry, you scared me there."
Mark chuckled, the sound light and soothing. "No worries, didn't mean to sneak up on you. Just thought you could use some company."
You appreciated his gesture and nodded. "Thanks, Mark. It's been definitely been a... day."
He nodded in understanding, his gaze sympathetic. "I could tell. The argument with Jack didn't look fun."
You sighed, the weight of it all still pressing on you. "Yeah, it wasn't. Sorry about him throwing you in the middle of it, I don't know what's going on with him."
He stayed quiet as he listened and nodded. You looked at him, waiting for some kind of response. He looked like he was weighing something in his head. "Well... it seems like he's jealous."
Jealous? You blinked in surprise, not expecting Mark to say that. "Jealous? Why would he be jealous?" You knew why, but it hadn't even seemed like a possibility in your mind.
Mark had a thin-lipped smile as he continued, "I mean why else would be an absolute dick about me spending the night with you?"
You stayed quiet, you had no idea how to deal with this. Of course this would happen to you on what was supposed to be a peaceful lake-house trip.
"Can I ask you a question, Y/N? But you have to be 100% honest with me." Mark's tone seemed serious as he spoke and you felt your heart drop. "Have you and Jack ever hooked up? Or like, dated?"
"No," that was the true answer but it looked like Mark hadn't bought it. "Well, I've always liked him." It felt weird to admit that and Mark's expression looked hurt as you continued. "That's why I stopped talking to him. I realized it would never go anywhere and I was still living in my head, it would've never worked out with me and Jack."
Admitting it out loud hurt more than you expected. You would never work out with Jack, no matter how hard you wanted it to.
"You still like him?"
You weighed your options but as you looked at Mark and everything that could happen, you knew the right answer. "No."
──
"Y/N!"
You heard Trevor's excited shout and you turned around, you felt Trevor embrace you tightly. You let out a laugh as he continued hugging you tightly, it had been a couple months since you'd last seen him.
He was always just as close to you as Jack, he was your true best friend. He had been there for you when Jack wasn't.
"Trevor!" You returned his hug with equal enthusiasm, feeling a surge of warmth and happiness at the sight of your close friend.
He pulled away with a big smile on his face, "Wow, why do you actually look good?" He said with a playful flirty undertone, making you laugh.
"Don't know, maybe it's the lack of Jack." As you turned to look behind him, you locked eyes with another close friend, Alex. He smiled and walked up to you; he was definitely the calm one in the friend-group. He gave you a hug before Trevor continued.
He rolled his eyes, "You still on that? Come on, Y/N."
You chuckled at Trevor's playful teasing, realizing that his presence had indeed lifted your spirits. "I can't help it, Trev. It's like a curse or something."
Alex joined in with a gentle laugh. "Well, we're here now, so you don't have to think about Jack for a while."
With your friends around, the atmosphere lightened even further, and you felt grateful for their presence. It was a chance to forget about the tension with Jack and simply enjoy the reunion with your closest friends.
"Oh shit." Alex mumbled, "I forgot my phone in the car,"
"Oh no worries, I'll come with you," you offered, eager to catch up with Alex and have a moment away from the group.
As you both headed to the car, Alex spoke in a hushed tone, "How have you been, Y/N? I know things have been tough."
You appreciated his concern and gave him a small smile. "I've had my ups and downs, but I'm good now. I'm glad you decided to come to the lake house, I've missed you two."
Alex nodded, his expression thoughtful. "We've missed you too. And I know things have changed with Jack, but we're here to support you no matter what."
As you arrived in the hallway, you had no time to respond as you heard yelling in the garage. You and Alex exchanged confused glances as you tried to listen in.
"What, Jack?! What's the excuse now, she literally said she's liked you forever!" You heard Nicole's voice and you felt your heart drop. She heard you in the pool?
You and Alex exchanged concerned glances as you strained to hear the conversation in the garage. Nicole's voice had a tone of frustration, and it was evident that she was upset about something. The mention of your feelings for Jack made your heart race.
Jack's voice responded, his tone defensive. "Nicole, it's not that simple. Y/N and I have a complicated history, okay?"
Nicole sounded exasperated as she retorted, "Complicated history? Jack, she's moved on. Why can't you?"
Their voices grew louder, and you could feel the strain in their relationship even from a distance. It was clear that your presence had stirred up emotions and issues between them, and you couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt.
As you leaned in closer to the door, it suddenly opened and you and Alex jumped.
The sudden opening of the door startled both you and Alex, and you found yourself face to face with a frustrated-looking Nicole. Her eyes widened in surprise at seeing you eavesdropping on their argument.
"Y/N..." Nicole began, her voice trailing off as he seemed at a loss for words.
You quickly glanced at Alex, who was equally taken aback by the unexpected confrontation.
"I'm so sorry, Nicole, I didn't know that you heard me and I promise you I would never, ever try anything while you were with Jack-"
She cut you off with a forced smile, "I get it. It's not your fault." She sneered at Jack before continuing. "It's not your fault Jack can't get over his childhood crush."
"Nicole, let's not do this here," Jack said, his voice tinged with frustration. He glanced at you and Alex before turning back to her. "We'll talk later, okay?"
"There is no later! I'm done." She yelled back at him, her eyebrows furrowing in utter anger. "You already made your decision, it was either me or her and we all know your choice. I won't be a second choice, Jack. I've been second to her our entire relationship and I just met her, can you imagine how I've felt?"
The raw pain in Nicole's eyes was impossible to ignore, and it was clear that she had reached her breaking point. Her outburst had laid bare the insecurities and frustrations that had been festering beneath the surface, and it left everyone in the room with a heavy sense of unease. You could see the hurt in her eyes, and it was clear that their relationship had reached a breaking point. You couldn't help but feel guilty, was it your fault?
While you knew you weren't responsible for the choices Jack had made in his relationship, it was impossible not to wonder if your presence had somehow worsened the situation. You had never intended to come between them or cause any harm.
You exchanged a glance with Alex, who looked equally uncomfortable with the situation. The unease in the room was palpable, and there were no easy answers to the complex emotions and dynamics at play.
Jack's shoulders slumped, and he looked defeated. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but no words came out. It was a painful silence, and you could feel the weight of the history and emotions between Jack and Nicole.
Finally, he managed to speak, his voice soft and filled with regret. "I'm so sorry, Nicole. I never meant for any of this to happen-"
Nicole didn't respond. She simply turned and walked away, leaving Jack standing there, his face etched with a complex mix of emotions.
Jack ran a hand through his hair before he quickly pushed past you and Alex to run after Nicole. "Fuck, baby please listen!"
You and Alex exchanged looks before he sighed heavily, "Wow. What the hell did me and Trev miss."
"You have no idea," you sighed as you began walking to his car for the thing you had came in there for.
──
You sat next to Mark as you both dangled your feet in the water, everyone was outside and it finally felt like relaxing trip. It finally felt like the lake house; no drama (for the most part), cool summer air, and all your close friends in one place.
Sitting by the water with Mark, you felt a sense of calm wash over you. The drama from earlier had dissipated, and you were grateful for the opportunity to unwind with your friends. The cool breeze, the soothing sounds of the lake, and the laughter of your friends created a serene atmosphere that allowed you to momentarily forget about the complexities of your relationships.
You turned to Mark and offered a genuine smile. "Thanks for being here today, Mark. It means a lot."
He returned your smile warmly. "Of course, Y/N. I'm here whenever you need someone to talk to or just hang out with."
As the stars began to twinkle in the night sky, you found yourself leaning in closer to Mark. His presence felt comforting and reassuring. You locked eyes with him, and there was a shared understanding between you.
In that moment, you realized that Mark had become more than just a friend. He was someone who had been there for you, who had listened, and who had shown you support when you needed it, something you hadn't experienced from any partner. And perhaps, in the midst of all the chaos, you had found something unexpected: the possibility of a new beginning.
As your faces drew nearer, the world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in that quiet, starlit moment. It was a moment of choice, a moment where you could let go of the past and embrace the future.
With a gentle, lingering touch, your lips met Mark's, and for that brief, stolen moment, it felt like the world was right where it should be.
Then it felt wrong. You pulled away and you turned your head almost instinctively and there he was. Jack, standing there, watching the scene unfold.
The shock on Jack's face was undeniable, and it was as if time had frozen in that moment. His presence shattered the tranquility that had enveloped you and Mark, leaving an awkward and tense silence in its wake.
Mark pulled away from you slowly, his expression a mix of surprise and uncertainty. You could feel your heart racing, caught between the past and the present, between the familiarity of Jack and the newfound connection with Mark.
Jack scoffed and walked away, leaving your heart shattered; like he always did. As you began to get up, Mark gripped your arm. You looked down at him and found yourself at crossroads.
Mark or Jack? Mark or Jack? Mark: the sweetest boy with the sweetest smile, or Jack: the person you'd loved your entire life.
You knew the answer. Everyone knew the answer. You moved your arm from his grip and got up, leaving him seated in the pool. You ran after Jack and it suddenly hit you. He'll always have this power over you, his beautiful smile always had this effect on you.
It made you nauseous as you tried to find where he was, like you always did. He would always pick someone else and you always had to pick him, that was just how it worked.
You ran after Jack, your heart pounding in your chest. The familiar ache of chasing after someone who always seemed just out of reach gnawed at you. It was a pattern you had repeated countless of times, a dance of longing and rejection that you couldn't seem to break free from no matter how hard you tried.
As you searched for him, you couldn't help but feel a sense of desperation. You knew that choosing Jack meant choosing the same cycle of heartache, but it was a choice you had made so many times before. His smile, his presence, his history with you—it all had a hold on you that was impossible to shake.
Finally, you spotted him by the edge of the lake, his silhouette illuminated by the moonlight. He turned to look at you, his expression a mix of surprise and uncertainty, as if he couldn't believe you had chosen him once again.
You didn't say anything as you approached him. Words felt meaningless in that moment. Instead, you simply reached out and took his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, and with that simple gesture, you made your choice.
It might have been the same old pattern, the same old dance, but it was your choice to make, and for now, it was the one that felt right.
As you looked into his eyes, the same ones you'd adored since day one, you felt deja vu. You felt angry; how could one person have such control over you? In the depths of his eyes, you saw a reflection of your own emotions, a turbulent mix of desire, frustration, and longing. It was a maddening feeling, to be so deeply ensnared by someone who seemed to hold all the power in your relationship.
The moonlight cast a soft glow on both of you as you stood by the lake, hand in hand, the weight of your choice settling in. It was a choice that defied reason and logic, a choice that defied the very patterns you had tried to break free from. But for now, it was your choice, and you would face the consequences, whatever they may be, with Jack by your side.
You felt an unexpected sob ripple from your chest and you ripped your hand from his, covering your mouth with your hand. You closed your eyes and you felt Jack pull you closer, into his chest.
As the sobs wracked your body, you felt Jack's arms around you, offering a comforting embrace. It was a mixture of relief and hurt, the weight of your choice bearing down on you. You had chosen to follow your heart, even if it meant stepping into the same cycle of uncertainty and longing.
Jack held you tightly, his own emotions undoubtedly conflicted, but in that moment, it was a silent understanding between the two of you. The night was still, and the moon illuminated the path you had chosen, as well as the challenges that lay ahead.
"It's okay, shh. I'm... here now, I'm sorry." He mumbled as he planted a kiss on your head.
You felt such anger in your stomach as he said those words so easily. Was it okay? Was he really here, with you? Was he truly sorry. You pushed him away and you saw him fumble back, hurt in his eyes as you fell on to your knees, taking a seat on the cold sand of the lake.
The anger, the hurt, the confusion, it all swirled within you as you sat there on the cold sand, tears streaming down your face. You couldn't make sense of your emotions, and Jack's words, well-intentioned as they might have been, didn't provide the solace you needed.
Jack remained a few steps away, watching you with a pained expression, unsure of how to bridge the gap between you. The silence between you was heavy, filled with unspoken words and unresolved feelings.
"Do you know..." You sniffled, looking up at him with tears in your eyes. You didn't even know where to begin. "I've spent my entire fucking life pining after you. Every single moment has been dedicated to the great Jack fucking Hughes, did you know that?"
Your bitter words felt like a dagger to the heart to the both of you. You continued, "I always choose you. I always fucking choose you!" You screamed out angrily, as Jack flinched. He'd never seen you this angry in his entire life.
"Why do I always choose you? You're like every other guy in the world." Your tears streamed down your face. "But you're special to me," you mumbled as Jack's breathing became heavy with emotion. "You always choose everyone else but me. I never knew why." You were just rambling at this point but you would be lying if you said it didn't feel good.
You looked up at Jack. "I watched you fall for people who didn't see you the way I did, who didn't know you the way I did, and I stood there, invisible, as you gave your heart to them."
Your words cut deep, each one a painful reminder of the years of unrequited love and longing.
"And then," you whispered, your voice barely audible, "when I finally thought it might be my turn to finally be with someone who actually liked me, who wanted me, I choose you again." Your voice cracked as you mentioned Mark.
You wiped away fresh tears, and the pain in your eyes was palpable. "It hurts, Jack. It hurt more than I can put into words. But I still chose you, again."
A sob caught in your throat, and you continued, your words heavy with emotion. "I've cried myself to sleep, wondering why I wasn't good enough for you, why you never saw me the way I saw you. And every time you got hurt, I was right there with you, helping and being there." You paused. "And when I was hurt, where the fuck were you? Probably with some girl who never knew you like I did. Who will never know you like I do."
Jack's eyes were filled with remorse, and you could see the pain in his expression, but you couldn't stop now. You had to let it all out.
"I convinced myself that if I just kept waiting, if I just kept choosing you, someday you'd see me for who I was, you'd choose me. But it never happened, Jack. It never happened, and it broke my heart a little more every day."
Your voice broke again as you sniffled, "I've missed out on so much because of you," you continued, your voice trembling with emotion. "I've given up on amazing opportunities, on people who genuinely cared about me, all because I thought someday you'd choose me too."
Jack took a seat beside you, the weight of your words sinking in. You didn't fight it, you were too tired.
The lake's gentle waves lapped against the shore, providing a soothing backdrop to the turmoil of emotions swirling around both of you. He didn't say anything for a while, the silence between you heavy with unspoken regret.
Finally, he broke the silence, his voice soft and filled with remorse. "I didn't know. I didn't mean to... hurt you."
You turned to look at him, your eyes meeting his. You saw the sincerity in his gaze, but it was accompanied by a sense of helplessness. It was as if he had finally realized the depth of the pain he had caused you.
"I couldn't like you, Y/N." It sounded harsher than it actually was as he continued. "I just couldn't. You were too good, Y/N, you are a sweetheart. I was scared to taint you, and I would've never forgiven myself if I did..."
"Taint me?" You scoffed, pain in your tone. "You tainted me the moment you met me, Jack."
Those words hung in the air as he swallowed, taking your words into consideration. "I'm so sorry, Y/N," he whispered, his voice filled with remorse. "I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted any of this."
You sighed, the anger and frustration slowly giving way to a sense of resignation. It was a complicated situation, and both of you had made mistakes along the way. "I know, Jack. I know you didn't."
In that moment, you both shared a painful understanding of the past and the choices that had brought you to this point. You would always choose him, and he'd always choose them. But as he put his hand on top of yours, your body entire body felt like it was on fire.
As you looked into Jack's eyes, you saw a mixture of emotions - regret, longing, and a hint of hope. It was as if he, too, was wrestling with the undeniable connection that had always existed between you.
"I'm not saying it'll be easy, Y/N," he murmured, his thumb gently tracing circles on the back of your hand. "But maybe... just maybe, we can find a way to make this work."
His words hung in the air, and for the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to entertain the possibility of a future with Jack, a future where you didn't have to choose between him and anyone else.
Maybe all of that pining wasn't for nothing. Maybe in the end, he would have chosen you. But would you choose him? Could you finally resist him?
As you sat there, the gentle breeze ruffling your hair and the quiet waters of the lake before you, you contemplated Jack's words. The years of pining and longing, the heartaches and frustrations, all seemed to converge in this one moment.
Maybe, just maybe, this was the moment where the tides would turn, and you could choose a different path, one that didn't revolve around Jack. But the choice was yours to make, and it wouldn't be easy. You knew the allure of Jack, the history you shared, and the magnetic pull between you two would always be there.
For now, you decided to savor the night, knowing that the future held uncertainties and challenges, but also the potential for something beautiful. As you gazed at the moonlit lake, you couldn't help but wonder what lay ahead and what choices you would make when the time came.
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pearlfeline · 9 months
Text
truth or dare
pairing: draco malfoy x female reader
word count: 1,228
summary: slytherins throw a party and play truth or dare. draco can't seem to play correctly when it comes to you, blaise becomes a wingman, and to pansy, you're a sleepy nerd.
a/n: ughhh i don't really like this because a party just seems so unrealistic to me lol. every time i see those scenarios it doesn't seem convincing to me at all. i didn't add copious amounts of drinks and partying to this because i truly think despite them being who they are, the most they would do is share a bottle together as a small group and not throw a party because they dislike mostly everyone. also, they're still kids. sorry if that ruins the entire thing and this sucks!!! although, i really liked the idea of draco not being able to bring himself to give you a mean dare like he would to the rest of his friends. enjoy.
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Your nose was deep in a book when you heard a faint jingling.
“Mrrph..”
You look behind you and see your cat swatting at the window. Your owl was here.
“Oh, Pluto leave that poor bird alone.” You get up and take the parchment from your owl’s beak.
“Thank you, Buttons.”
Buttons blinks once before flying out swiftly.
Once you unravel the parchment, you recognize the handwriting instantly.
“Small party in the common room tomorrow night. Don’t tell the stupid Gryffindors and just come downstairs for once. P.S. Don’t sleep right after dinner like an old crone and attend. I’m tired of talking to the same buffoons every day.”
You roll your eyes. Of course, he sends a letter over something he could’ve told you in passing.
“Wanker.” You mumbled, tossing the letter on your bed.
Of course, you’ll attend but there’s no reason to act giddy about it. At least on the outside. How you feel on the inside is nobody’s business surely.
The next day, you expect to walk into the common room with a circle of a few people, but you were met with bottles scattered across the floor.
Draco’s platinum hair stands out immediately despite the lights being dimmed.
“So you took my advice and stayed awake until curfew! Must be a new record for the old miss.” Draco chuckles to himself.
“Quite the dramatic invitation.” You look around and see scared first years peering through the steps.
“Is this your idea of a small party?”
Draco shrugged. “It’s just Slytherins. Whoever chooses to come is invited.”
“Obviously they’re going to show. Everybody who’s here loves to kiss up to the famous Draco Malfoy.”
Draco smirked.
“Not everybody” Blaise comes out of nowhere, sipping whatever from his cup.
“Do you not see how bad of an idea this is? The first years are trying to sleep.”
Blaise nods. “I didn’t want it to be this big either… or this loud.”
Draco rolls his eyes, giving a firm slap to Blaise’s shoulder. “Lighten up Zabini. It’s just a little over thirty people. Not my fault that’s twice as many people you know.”
Blaise takes that as his cue to get another drink and shakes his head before breaking away.
“Pansy is whining about playing truth or dare. Are you coming or not?” Draco’s eyes flick to the dorms.
“You threw a party just so we could all go upstairs and ignore it?”
“Somebody had to bring the drinks.” Draco walks past you, ironically slipping a bit on the steps. The younger kids move out of the way, scurrying back to their own rooms, trying to avoid a lecture out of fear.
You reluctantly follow Draco to his dorm room. Pansy and everyone else were already comfortably lounging, laughing about someone’s misfortune if you had to guess. Blaise followed quickly behind you, shutting the door.
“What happened?” He sits down near Pansy, who was obviously tipsy already.
“Truth or dare Zabini..” She giggles.
Blaise sighs. “Truth.”
You settle down on the corner of Draco’s bed, admittedly excited about the outcome of Blaise’s choice.
Draco sits on the floor, not before putting his sweater where he wanted to sit.
“…Boring… But fine.” Pansy, previously laying on her stomach, sits up and ponders a good question before smiling mischievously.
“Who in this room would you most likely snog..?”
Blaise pauses for a brief moment. “Pansy if you wanted to you should’ve just asked me.”
Pansy face-plants into her hands, groaning. Though, you had a feeling she was smiling under there.
After a few turns, it was eventually Draco’s turn.
“Y/L/N. Pick one.”
“Dare.”
Draco smiles at your answer but it soon fades as he thinks of what to say next.
“You should..”
The circle exchanges looks with one another.
“I dare you to…” Draco’s eyes dart around the room.
“Chug your drink…” Draco muttered.
“I.. I never got a drink.” You replied.
Blaise gives Draco a sympathetic look, before handing you his cup. “Here.”
You hesitantly take the cup.
Goyle furrows his eyebrows. “Malfoy, you just made me sneak outside and bang on Gryffindor’s entryway, why is her dare so-“
“Shut up.” He snapped.
You start to sip an already half-drunken cup, grimacing at the taste.
You hold it all in your cheeks, shaking your head in pain.
“You’ve got to swallow it eventually love.” Blaise takes back the cup cautiously.
You could only manage a squeak in response before forcing it down in an excruciating gulp.
“Not a fan?” Pansy laughed.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be…”
Draco purses his lips to hide his smile, suddenly finding that looking down at his shoes and playing with the laces was worth occupying his time. Despite looking forward to this very scenario all day, he couldn’t bring himself to give you a humiliating dare.
“I don’t know how you all drink that stuff so often.” You smack your lips, still tasting the remnants of whatever drink it was.
“Was that your first drink?” He raises his eyebrow.
“Of course it was. I don’t have access to these… alcohols…” You shrink slightly at how inexperienced and awkward you sounded.
Draco only scoffs. “We’ll, no wonder you couldn’t even chug.”
You glare at him, shoving him lightly. “There wasn’t even enough for me to possibly do that.”
“You looked like a newborn deer trying to drink from its first puddle.” Pansy let out a cackle before covering her mouth.
You close your eyes before rolling back into the bed, grabbing a pillow to shove into your face. It took you a moment to realize you weren’t in your own bed.
Draco’s smell of shampoo seeps through the pillow and into your nose. You flinch slightly but keep the pillow there, wanting to still hide from everyone. Though the mixed smell of fresh laundry and rosewood was an added bonus.
Pansy slaps the foot hanging off Draco’s bed.
“Ow!” You muffle through the pillow.
“Don’t tell me you’re tired already!”
Honestly, you were getting tiresome. You rarely stay up and sinking back into a bed didn’t help. You didn’t respond and just closed your eyes.
Blaise looks over at Draco, trying to basically have a telepathic conversation. They both somehow understood each other perfectly.
“Pansy I think we should go to your room and finish where we left off.” Blaise holds his cup with his teeth, one hand pulling her away and the other opening the door.
Draco’s other minions just stared blankly, completely oblivious to what he was implying.
“Get out.” Draco quietly hissed, making them jump and rush out, almost squeezing into Blaise and Pansy between the door frame. All mumble incoherently trying to push each other.
In between this time, you actually did doze off. Draco turns back around to hear your breathing slightly get heavier as if you were on the verge of snoring. He sighs, lifting the pillow off your face and placing it under your head.
“I bet Dumbledore sleeps later than you.” He mumbled.
Draco pulls the blanket from under you and tucks you in. He could’ve almost burst out laughing by how you sleep so easily, but he decides against waking you up after Blaise basically gave him two favors tonight. Draco slumps onto Blaise’s bed, staying up as long as he could, making sure you were able to sleep uninterruptedly throughout the night.
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psuedosugu · 4 months
Note
Ohhhh my golly I saw your Vox x daughter reader an it got me thinking now HEAR ME OUT….what if reader got bored on day an just went for a walk and somehow came across Alastor, now let’s say Alastor’s a lil confused like he never knew Vox had a daughter and readers like *sad sigh* “I’d be surprised if anyone knew” an Alastors all fatherly to her at first it was to get dirt on Vox without reader realizing but in the end he just liked hanging out with her. Eventually Vox noticed how his daughter is gone half the time but reader just convinces her dad that she’s always home and how HES the one always away. Change the ending how you see fit or do whatever you like but UGH I love your writing stay hydrated and eat wellll🩵
assjjjkkj thank youuu the amount of feedback ive gotten on this acc that ive only been posting on for like 3 days is insane, anyways this is such an interesting idea omgee
cw: reader having some emotionally absent daddy issues
fem reader
pt 1 here
ִֶָ 𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ
͙͘͡★ || so you had just gone out on an innocent walk, right?
͙͘͡★ || well, technically snuck out since your dad doesn’t like you going out by yourself.
͙͘͡★ || theres bad people out there! what if you got kidnapped or something?
͙͘͡★ || no one recognizes you, of course, since he doesn’t really talk about you let alone shows you to the public.
͙͘͡★ || you appreciate him for that, you guess, it must be annoying to not be able to go anywhere without a bunch of microphones in your face.
͙͘͡★ || you just wish he was around more! he barely makes any time for you and yeah, his work is super important and time consuming but you’re his daughter!
͙͘͡★ || lost in thought, you bump into a dude in the sidewalk.
͙͘͡★ || “whoops! excuse me, ma’am!”, he says in a weird, static-ish voice.
͙͘͡★ || your skeleton almost jumps out of your skin when you look up.
͙͘͡★ || the radio demon, the guy that your dad has had beef with since you were little
͙͘͡★ || you just stare at him with a “ :o “ look on your face, not knowing if you should run or not.
“little girl, are you, um, alright?” he stares down at you, slightly confused.
“im…uhhh…im okay!”
“you’ve heard of me, i suppose.”
“i guess…. my dad doesn’t really like you.”
“and who might your father be, hm?”
“yk the tv dude? the one thats, like, everywhere? yeah, that him.”
“hmm…interesting…i wasn’t aware he had a daughter…”
“well, he doesn’t really talk about…..”
͙͘͡★ || at this point you stop blabbing mid sentence, realizing you probably shouldn’t have said all of that to his sworn enemy.
͙͘͡★ || what if he does kidnap you and holds you for ransom?
͙͘͡★ || but he doesn’t do that, surprisingly.
͙͘͡★ || he asks you why you’re out alone so late and you shrug, saying that your dad wasn’t really there to stop you.
͙͘͡★ || you were naive and alastor was planning to use that to his advantage, not to hurt you, but to hurt vox.
͙͘͡★ || what would he think when he found out that his own daughter was buddy-buddy with his sworn enemy?
͙͘͡★ || he’d feel like a failure of a father, and thats what alastor wanted, to get under his skin.
͙͘͡★ || you guys walked while you told him everything, about him being away all the time, about you feeling lonely, while he nodded along
͙͘͡★ || you guys even stopped at one of those old timey bar places and bought you a milkshake!
͙͘͡★ || eventually you headed home, your dad hadn’t noticed you had been gone which figures.
͙͘͡★ || this became routine, you hung out with alastor and he gave you advice and stuff. you thought that if he had an ulterior motive it would’ve shown itself by now but no, it hadn’t.
͙͘͡★ || alastor himself had started to forget why he had even started all of this. he found himself enjoying your company and actually caring about you.
͙͘͡★ || after a while vox started to notice that he’s been seeing you less than he usually does.
͙͘͡★ || i mean, the tower is big but cmon! there were days where he would barely see you at all! where were you going?
͙͘͡★ || he confronted you about it at dinner one day.
“[name], dearest, i cant help but notice that i haven’t been seeing you around much lately. what’ve you been up to?”
͙͘͡★ || you pause, looking up from your food.
“i, um, dont know what you’re talking about.”
͙͘͡★ || he furrows his (virtual) eyebrows.
“is that so?”
“mhm!”
͙͘͡★ || vox is reasonably skeptical and resorts to spying on you through your smartwatch because of course you have a voxtech branded smartwatch!
͙͘͡★ || hes absolutely livid when he finds out who you’ve been sneaking out to be with and he’s waiting for you when you get home.
͙͘͡★ || you’re indefinitely grounded until he says so and he starts tracking where you go in the tower.
͙͘͡★ || he knows that its a violation of privacy and stuff but dont you see that he’s trying to protect you? alastor is dangerous! he doesn’t get how you didn’t see it earlier.
͙͘͡★ || alastor does succeed on what he set out to do, though. vox is distraught, feeling like a horrible father. he even vents to valentino about it out of all the people!
“-i mean, what kind of father doesn’t even notice their own child sneaking out in broad daylight every day? i should’ve paid more attention to her, im a failure!”
“mhm….yeah….”
͙͘͡★ || val obviously doesn’t give a shit.
͙͘͡★ || after not bumping into you for a while and seeing the up in vox slandering him online, alastor figures what happened.
͙͘͡★ || he’s glad that he succeeded in his mission to bother vox further but does miss talking to you.
͙͘͡★ || vox does vow to make more time for you and be a more attentive dad, so i guess some good comes out of this.
ִֶָ 𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆★⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ
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lqfiles · 3 months
Text
SCORE THAT GOAL! — 42. (unofficial) couple goals
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(wc: 2.631 of pure cuteness tbh)
“does this look date appropriate?” you flashed the sweater in your hands in front of ningning who was barely paying attention. she hummed, still focused on the phone slotted in her hands. “you’re not even looking.” you groaned, throwing the sweater towards your bed, accidentally hitting ningning with it who finally looked up.
“you worry too much.” she threw her phone aside, seating herself more properly on your bed. “just wear somehing casual, why would jisung care?” ningning reassured you. still, your worry didn’t leave one bit. “he might not care but i do! i want to look impressive for this date.” you continued to rummage through your wardrobe.
“it’s almost 3 o clock, he can be here any time so quit worrying babe.” ningning stood up and held onto your shoulder before slightly pushing you out the way. her hands quickly moved aside the plenty of clothing hangers before she reached for a piece of clothing. “here.” without looking up, her hand shot behind her to hand you a t-shirt and within a minute, a pile of clothing was stacked in your arms.
“just wear this and those cute shoes you bought recently. hurry before jisung arrives.” ningning flipped you by your shoulders before pushing you into the direction of the bathroom. you didn’t have time to question why she was pushing you out of your shared room, you had to get ready. “i owe you my life.” you thanked as you looked down at the clothing you carried. they went well with each other, and you didn’t expect less from ningning. the perks of having a friend who designs clothing.
walking out the bathroom with your outfit, you quickly admired yourself in the mirror. “a stunner. jisung is going to drop to his knees.” ningning chuckled from behind you. the ‘ping’ noise from your phone distracted the both of you for a second. “must be him.” she guessed. you ran to your phone, reading the ‘i’m outside.’ text jisung had sent you. a quick breather in and out was the last thing you did before grabbing your coat and scarf, finally walking to the door. “wish me luck.” you yelled before closing the door.
“hey.” the familiar sound of jisung’s voice spoke from behind you, slightly startling you before you turned around to face him. “there you are.” you sighed before a shy smile grew on your face. it felt like you hadn’t seen jisung up close in months. the sight of his long black hair that slightly curled up at the and and the same black jacket he wore that time you two were at the bus stop sent a sense of nostalgia through your body. perhaps he wore it on purpose, you didn’t really want to dwell too much on it.
“i like your outfit.” jisung rubbed the back of his neck in a shy matter as he averted his eyes to the ground. your smile grew, feeling the warmth in the pit of your stomach growing. “thank you, you look good too.” you responded back and jisung scoffed out an airy laugh.
“i was going to ask jaemin to let me borrow his car but he kind of needed it, so we’ll just have to take the bus.” jisung’s shy smile turned apologetic as he slowly turned to face the path ahead. “that’s alright, should we go then?” you started to take a few steps forward with jisung following instantly. he nodded before taking a few more steps until he was walking right next to you.
“so, are you going to reveal where we’re going?” you asked, masking your eagerness with a more playful tone. jisung laughed, glancing your way before shaking his head. “you’ll see, i’m sure we’ll have fun.” he muttered the last part, confidence lacking a bit. it was jisung’s goal to make you go home and describe the day as nothing less than fun.
“the bus is almost here.” you showed your phone that you had fished out of your pocket, bus time on display for jisung to see. he looked further ahead at the bus stop to see the few people gathered. “guess we should speed up a bit.” jisung advices before the both of you started briskly walking.
“an arcade?” were the first words that left your mouth as jisung lead you to your destination. jisung’s heart dropped, sensing disappointment from your reaction. “do you not like it?” he asked hesitantly but you shut him down quickly, aggressively shaking your head at him. “no of course i like it! i just didn’t expect it, i thought you’d plan a park date or something like that. this is definitely more fun though!” you reassured him and jisung wasn’t sure if he should be glad that you weren’t disappointed, or concerned at how his heart raced a bit at the mention of the word date.
he didn’t have time to decide as you had already enter the building, leaving him to stand outside. his perplexity quickly turned into amusement as he followed you inside. the place was loud as music blared in it. jisung spotted you a few meters ahead, looking around. quickly catching up to you, jisung admired the place with you. “where do you want to go first?” he asked you, head turned to subtly admire you instead. “let’s play mario kart.” your finger pointed to the machine further ahead and jisung nodded, following right behind you.
“just a heads up, i’ve never lost a race.” you boasted as you took off your coat and seated yourself in the driver’s seat of the machine. jisung cocked an eyebrow at your statement, amused grin finding its way back to his face. “oh yeah? we’ll see about today.” he challenged you, taking a seat himself.
“oh trust me, we will.” you retorted back as you put the coin in the coin box.
“don’t you feel a bit silly right now?” you laughed while you and jisung explored the rest of the arcade. not only had you won the first race, jisung had challenged you 3 more times after that, refusing to admit to defeat. as expected, you had won the 3 races with ease, surprising jisung. “whatever, i let you win, that’s why.” he reasoned and you laughed.
“right… where should we go now?” you asked as you held your coat in your hand. despite it still being winter time, the warmth from the indoor heating, as well as the warm feeling of spending time with jisung made you grow hot quite quick within those 20 minutes. you were so focused on the way your body felt that you barely felt jisung’s nudge. “hello?” jisung called you as his face entered your peripheral vision.
“sorry, what did you say?” you asked back, growing embarrassed when you realised you had probably ignored him. jisung pointed his thumb backwards, eyes stuck on you. “i saw something at the entrance.” you didn’t need much more convincing as you gladly followed jisung who led you two to the entrance of the arcade.
you didn’t mind anything he suggested, agreeing to his offers and following him without a second thought. going from one game to another, your afternoon with jisung in the arcade was spent with laughter and a feeling of true happiness as you two felt sincere pleasure being together.
“jisung, its okay. you’re just wasting your money.” you chuckled, subconsciously holding onto his arm to drag him back. jisung didn’t budge, instead taking out another coin before inserting it into the claw machine. “just trust me, i swear i’m good at this.” you couldn’t argue back much when the game had restarted and jisung was fully concentrated as he controlled the claw.
the slight frown on his face as his tongue poked the side of his cheek had you biting back a grin. you felt lucky to see such a sight up close, and you wondered if others had seen jisung be this attractive. you hoped not.
“yes!” you flinched out of your daydream when hearing jisung’s excited cheer. you followed his hands that reached down to the drop box. “i told you to trust me.” jisung grinned victoriously when grabbing out not one, but two plushies. the two bunny plushies in his hand came in two colours and jisung stuck both his hands out to you. “which one do you want?” he asked you first.
your hand reached out for the brown plushie, leaving the grey bunny in jisung’s other hand. an amused smile founds it’s way on your face as you looked back up at jisung who smiled back at you. your hand had only moved away a few inches from his, you could still feel the warmth from it.
“you really know how to impress a girl, jisung.”
“can you stop frowning at me please?” jisung asked you, hiding the soft smile that was itching to grow on his face with a more sulky expression. it was nearing 7 o clock and you and jisung had just returned from dinner. your jaw almost dropped as he took you to a restaurant that was barely in your budget, wondering if he had mixed up his locations.
jisung refused to let you pay, instead telling you to get as much as you wanted. which had let to a little argument where you told him you’d pay him back, something he dismissed almost instantly. “i’m the one taking you here, no need to pay me back.” he had told you.
“you should’ve let me pay.” you huffed and this time, jisung did laugh. “you can’t actually be mad about this.” he leaned forward to get a glimpse of your face from beside you. you turned your head, the close proximity making you feel a type of way. “well, i am. i feel like i took advantage of you.” you sulked.
it was silent for a while and you wondered if jisung had given up on arguing with you. yet, the small tug on your arm that stopped you from walking any further told you otherwise. you reluctantly turned to look at jisung who stood behind you. “let’s say this. if you manage to score twice, you can pay back. you have 5 chances.” before you had the time to question what he meant, his head nodded towards the empty field on the side. in the distance laid an abandoned ball.
you looked back at jisung, hesitating. “of course, if you refuse, that must mean you don’t want to pay me back.” jisung egged on and you sighed. “why are you like this.” you gave in, following jisung onto the grass. jisung took a stick before scraping it against the soil. “this is the goal.” he explained before opening his jacket. “show me what you got (—)!” jisung yelled, waiting for you to get ready.
shot one. much like you expected, you didn’t shoot anywhere near the assigned goal. you watched as jisung suppressed a laugh. “genuinely, how is this fair?” you argued. “don’t give up yet, i’m sure you can do it.” he encouraged you, rolling the ball back towards you.
shot two. taking a deep breath in, you took your time to coordinate your shot this time. position your feet differently, you took a few steps back before charging for the ball and taking your shot. you felt somewhat proud as you realised this time you were much closer. “that was close.” jisung complimented you, rolling the ball back towards you.
shot three. why was it suddenly raining? “don’t get distracted.” jisung exclaimed, zipping his own jacket up at the sudden appearance of the rain. you ignored the way the rain was getting into your coat and took your shot. your breath hitched as the ball grazed jisung finger tips, but ultimately didn’t make it in. “two more chances.” jisung announced, rolling the ball back towards you.
shot four. you couldn’t tell if the rain had increased. your focus was on at least scoring once. you took a few steps back, feet taking careful steps forwards as to not trip. mud flew with the ball and you watched as it grazed jisung’s finger tips before entering the assigned goal. “that’s one! you got one more chance.” jisung clapped for you before rolling the ball back towards you.
shot five. you weren’t sure why this was so serious for you. it definitely wasn’t just about the money anymore, instead you felt like you had something to prove as you stood in front of jisung. months of training, and you couldn’t even make two goals? three steps backwards was all you took before you kicked the ball, following as your shot made a straight line into the goal, jisung barely registering it.
“i did it!” you exclaimed in disbelief, eyes stuck on the ball that was past the goal. you scoffed out a laugh as your eyes met jisung who returned a smile. he walked towards you, clapping his hands. “that was cool.” he complimented, standing in front of you. the validation jisung gave you made you more prideful than the goal itself and you thanked him.
jisung hummed, his hands reaching up to the scarf you were wearing around your neck before adjusting it. it was hard to hold back his grin that was growing as he realised it was his scarf. “you improved a lot, you know?” jisung’s hands slowly detached from your shoulders and the loss of contact made the both of you feel cold. “thanks to you and jeno, can’t believe i finally did score a goal.” you whispered in disbelief.
you may have scored a goal today, but you still have a totally different goal to score.
“i should’ve checked the weather before leaving, i’m sorry.” jisung apologised as he watched you shiver into your coat. “or at least brought an umbrella.” he continued. “it’s okay, we’re almost in our neighbourhood.” you reassured jisung who continued to eye you in worry. the rain was still pouring and by now the two of you were soaked and probably caught a cold too. jisung couldn’t help but feel responsible.
the warmth of someone else’s hand enveloping yours shook you out of yours thoughts. your head snapped to the side, noticing jisung’s hold on your right hand. your heart rate increases as you watched jisung lift your hand up to his lips. you sucked in a breath, waiting for his next move. you watched as he softly blew out air from between his lips, distributing it across all of your hand.
you couldn’t tell if his attempt at warming your hand up was why you felt so hot, or if the intimate act itself had you heating up. he continued his act as you two walked, occasionally rubbing your hand with his. the whole time, you stayed silent, giving him your consent by keeping your hand in his hold.
“here” jisung said, placing something in your hand before carefully dropping it. looking at your hand, you noticed the black gloves that were placed in your hands. you looked back up at jisung, surprised. “aren’t you going to be cold?” you asked and he shook his head. “it’s okay, i can deal with a little cold. put them on.” jisung instructed.
his gloves were warm and smelled just like him. you swore you were starting to get dizzy from all this. the sudden affection he displayed in the past 3 minutes had you wondering if this was a dream. and if you were sure it wasn’t, the sudden feeling of his slender fingers hesitantly holding onto your hand before fully interlocking it with yours definitely made you doubt everything.
you had to be dreaming.
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previous — master list — next
notes ; lengthy chapter but it’s worth it i swear… HAPPY JISUNG DAY #오늘_지성이_생일이니까_행복하장 #DreamingWithJisung
TAGLIST ; @rksbae @222brainrot @severefireangelprune @violetvoo @prdshobi @kikookii @haechansbbg @en-dream @bbxnny-bbxtch @cvpidxo @jaeminslattes @90s-belladonna @softieluvsyou @wenjunblossoms @be0mluver @jeongintwt @myhaechan @love1again @ckline35 @cassie6392 @hibernatinghamster @starboys-gf @rllymark @mfaal @snflwrhaerecs4u @sunflowerbebe07 @ahnneyong @enhalovie @galacticpurpl3 @manooffline @luv4jeno @mikadorbs @1moo7 @ksywoo @ohdudehesflirting @savluvsmingi @finnydraws @invumi @crvzy-fujoshi @peterparkerluvvbot @hrjunluvs @i2kittenz @jisungji @http-peachie @jisyng @sweetcandycum @giaccolo @shotaroswifeyily @sinsgaybutthatsokay @be-my-sunrise @syzavxy @kyusqult @mxlly143 @o-schist @bigjishirt @snuglyjwi @hyunniesvlog @shuaadmirer
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waywardxrhea · 3 months
Text
Jealousy: a Bucky Barnes one-shot
pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader (no use of y/n)
word count: 3k
You are working with Bucky, Sam, and Zemo to get intel on the Power Broker when the night takes an unexpected turn...
content warnings: minors DNI (18+) - smut (semi-public, oral - male receiving, fingering), PWP, jealousy, groping, drinking, language, name calling (slut - not by Bucky), some violence.
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“You can come out now,” Helmut Zemo called to you through the bathroom door of his private jet you were currently holed up in after getting ready for an evening of espionage. 
“I feel weird…” you muttered, looking at yourself in the mirror. 
Sam, Bucky, Zemo, and you were getting ready for an intel gathering mission and this time it was your turn to gather intel. Why that meant you had to have your tits nearly falling out of the dress Zemo picked out, you didn’t know, but you were so close to getting the break you needed you would do nearly anything to get answers.
“Everyone feels weird at these things. The dresses are uncomfortable but when you’re somewhere looking at art you need to look like art yourself,” he told you. 
“Fine,” you sighed, giving yourself one more once over as the plane started to descend. 
On anyone else you would have said the dress was gorgeous. It flowed like a river when you walked, it was sparkly enough to be seen from space, and the combination of the low cut neckline and the slit in the leg was enough to make the devil himself blush. It just wasn’t you. Ever since you became an agent for SHIELD, the CIA, and now freelancing with this band of misfits, you’d grown accustomed to wearing pants and tactical gear and in your downtime it was leggings and chunky sweaters. Nothing even the slightest bit revealing.
So when you exited the bathroom you couldn’t help the blush that creeped up your neck as Sam gave a low whistle from where he stood in his steel blue pressed tux, saying, “Man you’re looking good!”
“Can it,” you told him, rolling your eyes and shoving your hands into the pockets of the dress. That part at least Zemo took your advice on when designing the dress which you guessed you were grateful for…
“I told you you’d look beautiful,” Zemo said. “A thank you would be nice.”
“Thank you,” you told him with a sarcastic smile, turning away and rolling your eyes. 
As you turned away, Bucky emerged into the main area of the plane, adjusting his tie and giving you a once over. “I think you’ve made him speechless,” Sam said teasingly, nudging Bucky in the ribs after he didn’t say anything for a few seconds. 
Sam had always teased the two of you because he knew you liked Bucky but you’d just never made a move. He’s got bigger things to worry about than me, you’d always told yourself. Besides, he’s on those dating apps and all, so that’s proof he isn’t interested, not in you... 
“No time for puppy eyes, we’re here,” Zemo said as the plane touched down. “Does everyone remember the plan?”
“Yes,” you replied. “I go in first and blend in for a while. Admire the art, catch the attention of the target, chat him up for a bit. Once I get what we need on the Power Broker I’ll excuse myself to the restroom and we make a break for it.”
“Correct,” he told you with a nod. 
“The three of us will go in separately and pretend to look at the art while making sure things don’t go sideways,” Sam added. 
“Right again. What is the code word for if you become compromised?”
“Champagne,” you told him instantly. Now this was the stuff you were built for.
“Are we ready?” Zemo asked as the group approached the door to the jet.
“As I’ll ever be,” you said, making your way to the door and carefully picking your way down the steps to head into the party. 
“Don’t strut or anything,” Sam told you teasingly as he watched you feign confidence on your way in. 
“Shut up, I don’t strut,” you snapped. 
“You do tend to strut when you’re in heels,” Zemo said. 
“Okay let’s not focus on my walk you guys!” you said before approaching the door to the art show. 
“Here, let me get that for you ma’am,” a suited man said, opening the door for you with a smile and a wink. 
You gave him a smug raise of your eyebrows in return as you walked through the door, narrowly missing the hand that was outstretched, no doubt trying to cop a feel. “I feel gross…” you mumbled as you walked further in, grabbing a glass of champagne from a tray nearby. 
While looking around, something caught your eye so you made my way to an art piece that you had only ever seen in textbooks. It was beautiful… A man slid up next to you to admire the piece as well, and casually asked, “You like it? It’s one of a kind.”
“It’s wonderful, I didn’t know this piece was even on the market!” you said, wonder in your eyes over the art in front of you.
“Maybe it could be yours if you give me something in exchange,” the man said suggestively, making you throw up a little in your mouth. 
You turned to see who the man was and saw that it was the target. Like some miracle he had walked up to you, but you weren’t about to take it for granted. So as much as it pained you to do it, you reached over to his arm and brushed your fingers over it and asked in your most innocently seductive voice, “And what may that be?”
“All right we’re all in, if this guy goes too far, say something and we’ll come get you,” Sam told you through the earpiece as he casually made his way over to the nearby bar. 
While he said this, you and the man made your way over to the VIP area where you two sat down on a couch and were served drinks of your choice. He glanced down at your breasts quickly before asking, “So what’s your name darlin? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”
You giggled and put on the charm as you walked two fingers up his chest, telling him, “You’d like to know, wouldn’t you?”
“That I would,” he replied, placing a hand on the bare portion of your thigh. He snaked his other arm around your back and rested his hand on your ass, pulling you close. “A pretty little thing like you shouldn’t have to attend these events alone.”
“Play your cards right and I could be your plus one from now on…” you told him, the corners of your lips turning up in a small smile. 
The next half hour felt like forever as you pushed for more drinks for your pleasant company and innocently sweet talked your way into the answers you needed. When you felt like you had enough intel to make our next move, you sweetly told him, “I’m so sorry, but you’ll have to excuse me, I need to go to the girls’ room. These drinks went right through me!”
“I’ll be here when you get back sweetheart,” he told you with a smile as you got up, grabbing your ass once more when you stood. 
As you turned the corner to make it seem convincing that you were actually looking for the restroom, you suddenly felt a hand grab your wrist and pull you toward them. You just about took them out before realizing that it was just Bucky. “What the hell, Buck?” you asked, taken aback. 
He put his finger to his ear, turning off his coms before whispering sharply, “Why’d you let him touch you like that?”
“W-what?” you asked, your eyebrows furrowing. 
“We’re getting out of here, you two need to get out before we’re compromised,” Zemo told you over the coms. 
“Be there in a minute,” you told him before turning your own off, following Bucky’s actions. Getting back to his question, you said, “I did what I had to do to get answers. Why do you care?”
“Because no one should be touching you like that,” he replied, looking deep into your eyes. 
You laughed a bit before asking sarcastically, “Oh yeah because it should be you right?”
What happened next shocked you to the core. Because Bucky, the man who had stolen your heart, said, “Yes,” before crashing his lips down onto yours, pinning you against the wall hard. A million thoughts ran through your mind and your head spun as you tried to process what was happening all while sinking into his soft lips. 
“Bucky…” you whispered between kisses as he held you close. Never breaking the makeout session, he felt around for any door handle he could find before pulling you into whatever room it revealed. 
Once the pair of you were in the room, he hiked you up onto the counter before resting his forehead on yours, saying, “It killed me seeing that bastard touching you like that. I wanted it to be me.”
With your senses finally kicked in after the shock of the kiss, you shook your head and whispered, “You don’t mean that. You’re just saying that because of how I look right now. If we were back at the hotel and I was in my leggings and sweater you’d just look the other way…”
“No,” he said as he looked deep into your eyes, pulling away and taking your hand in his. “This is something that’s been on my mind for a while, but I never had the courage to say it until now. I thought I could push away my feelings in order to not compromise our friendship and partnership but… I wanted to kill that guy for touching you like that.”
You opened your mouth to say something in response, but nothing came out. Instead you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into another kiss. When you got back to it, your hands wandered each other's bodies desperately, Bucky’s metal hand slipping under your dress to cup your breast and mess with your sensitive nipple. You gasped at the cool touch and he took that as an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. 
As you ran one hand through his hair, he slowly slid his right hand down to your thighs, not moving any further than there without permission. Not even caring how dirty it made you feel to do so, at the touch you spread your legs for him and pulled away for a moment to whisper, “Please touch me…”
“As you wish,” he whispered, taking no time at all to begin toying with your swollen clit. He nipped at your earlobe before mumbling, “God you’re so wet.”
“That’s because you drive me crazy,” you admitted. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this…”
“Oh yeah?” he asked while gently pushing two fingers in and feeling around for that special spot inside. 
“Oh God yes,” you whimpered, your head rolling back as he found what he was looking for. No one had touched you like this in so long and it just felt so good and so…right with it being him. 
He added his thumb to the mix, rubbing your clit while his fingers worked their magic and you had to bite your knuckle to keep from screaming, it felt so good. Seeing your reaction, Bucky smirked and started kissing your neck, telling you between kisses, “I guess we shoulda talked about it because I’ve been dreaming of this for a while. First chance I get after tonight, I’m fuckin’ you into oblivion, doll.”
Those words were all it took to bring you impossibly closer to the edge. The idea of Bucky doing unspeakable things to you made everything that much better and you could feel yourself shaking as you approached your high. “Bucky…” you whispered shakily. 
Bucky stood there just admiring you as he picked up the pace of his fingers inside your sensitive cunt. He gave you a sideways smile before whispering, “God, just look at you. You’re so beautiful. Those little gasps and whimpers all for me? That’s enough to make me wanna go all night,” he said, making you even weaker in the knees. Your head rolled back and your breathing started to become uneven as he worked his magic inside, the pace somehow getting more vigorous the closer he brought you to release. The smirk was audible in his voice as he added, “Come on doll, I can tell you’re close, just cum for me.” 
And just like that with a few more strokes of his fingers you were experiencing the most intense orgasm you had in years. “Oh my God, fuck…” you moaned before he captured your lips on his own once more while you rode it out on his fingers which continued to pump in and out lazily as you clenched around them. 
“I think I can get used to that sound,” he told you with a smile once he pulled back from your kiss. 
You couldn’t help the school-girl-like giggle that escaped your lips before you got serious again, kissing him after jumping off the countertop. You spun the two of you around and pinned him to the counter this time, your fingers trailing their way down to his belt and messing with the buckle waiting for permission. “You don’t gotta do anything for me right now, the others are waiting. I’m sure they’re getting worried,” he told you.
“I think for once you need to put yourself before others,” you whispered, ghosting your fingers over the prominent tent in his slacks. 
He chuckled before giving in, saying, “Make it quick.”
“Oh trust me I can do that,” you told him with a wink before undoing his belt buckle and letting his slacks fall to his ankles. You toyed with the waistband of his underwear for a moment before pulling them down as you sank onto your knees in front of him. 
As you kissed the swollen tip of his penis he sucked in air through his teeth, telling you, “Don’t be a tease.” You giggled and ran one finger on the underside of his cock, the vein pulsing beneath your touch, and that had him like putty in your hands and asking, “Please?”
With that final almost whimper of a please from the man standing above you, you took his impressive length in your mouth. You got as far back as you could before beginning to bob your head, his right hand gently resting in your hair to guide you while his left had a death grip on the counter behind him. 
When you hollowed out your cheeks, Bucky’s knees almost buckled and he tightened his grip on your hair. At this you pulled back and teased his head with your tongue before going back in. The way his breath hitched in his throat and the way he started moving his hips showed he was losing the restraint he had on himself meaning that he was close, so you used your hand to work what you couldn’t with your mouth and that’s exactly when he lost it. 
He had never felt anything like the feeling he was experiencing right now as he gently thrust his hips forward, relishing in the feeling of pure pleasure he was getting from your mouth. “Fuckin’ hell!” he groaned as he came to his high, his warm release filling your mouth while his grip on the counter tightened, his metal hand breaking the marble in the process. 
Coming back up to eye level with him after he finished, you smirked before telling him, “Quiet down Sergeant, you don’t want anyone to catch us, do you?”
“Oh next time you’ll be regretting that, doll,” he growled playfully before pulling his clothes back up while you fixed your makeup with what you brought in your pockets. As you fixed your hair too, he looked at you in the mirror and said, “Really though, that was nice. Something I’ve been wanting for a while.”
“Me too,” you replied, kissing him tenderly once you looked presentable again. 
After you and Bucky got yourselves calmed down from all the excitement you headed back out to the party so you could go back to the jet. As Bucky adjusted his belt while the pair of you exited the room, you noticed the man from earlier was standing down the hall talking with someone. He seemed to notice Bucky adjusting his belt and that goofy smile on his face so he rolled his eyes and shoved past you, muttering, “Slut.” 
“What did you just call her?” Bucky asked, sudden white hot rage filling his whole body. 
“I called her what she is, a slut!” the man spat loudly.
 And that was all it took for Bucky to wind back and punch the man in the face, taking care to use his metal arm to do so. Once the man was on the ground, Bucky took the man’s collar in his hand, yanking him up and growling, “Don’t you ever talk about a woman like that again. Got it?” 
“Got it!” the man whimpered as Bucky threw him back down on the ground. 
With that settled, you two left the party and got back to the jet, walking hand in hand. Sam took one look at you and told Zemo, “You owe me twenty bucks.”
“We don’t know that!” Zemo retorted defensively. 
“Oh don’t we now?” Sam asked with a laugh. He turned his attention to the pair of you and asked, “Did you or did you not go MIA so you could have sex?”
“I- What- We-” you tried to say, stumbling over your words as your face heated up. 
Bucky rolled his eyes and chuckled before saying, “Whichever one bet that we had sex lost.”
“I told you!” Zemo shouted victoriously. 
“But did you at least do something?” Sam asked, fishing in his wallet for a twenty. 
“That’s for us to know and you to not find out,” Bucky replied, kissing your knuckles before leading you to a seat on the plane where you could rest your feet for the flight. As you sat down and relaxed into Bucky’s strong embrace, you had a feeling that tonight was the first of many pleasurable nights to come. 
a/n: so this is my first one shot on tumblr! I wrote this one night when I just couldn't get Bucky out of my head, I hope y'all enjoy!
and if you don't follow me or know my account, feel free to check out my Steve Rogers long fic here!
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onyourhyuck · 10 months
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Dirty, Little, Traitor. | L.MK
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— Prologue: “Since you won’t help me finish up, I don’t think I’ll let you finish.”
— Summary: Wherein you asked your roommate Mark to help you out with rearranging your room but ends up rearranging you instead.
— Genre: Roommate smut. Minors dni. Mention of porn and masturbation. Slight bicker back and forth. Pettiness. Edging and leaving them at the orgasm. Mark becoming frustrated and so he takes his frustration on Y/n by rearranging her stomach…. We love that. Handjob(I guess?) fingering female receiving. Nickname ‘Princess’ used. Unprotected sex. Pls use protection irl.
— Notes: This was fun to write.
Credit for Plot: @markleelately <3
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You know what really sucks? Rearranging your room. Do you know what sucks the freaking most? When you’re the only one rearranging your room. You asked your roommate multiple times to help you out but in fact they were so busy on their games or whatever they are doing. You don’t even care you asked them to stop and come into your room to help you with your furniture but instead they ignored you. They must’ve ignored you.
There’s no way they would ignore your shouting voice. You sigh one last time as you put down the mattress you’re struggling with and you shove out of your bedroom with a deadpanning expression on your face that can only scream death. You might murder your roommate today.
Knocking was now heard on the door which you hear shuffling footsteps on the carpet approaching the door. When it opens it reveals a blonde young man. He was very handsome, he had those round black eyes staring into yours and they always gave you a slight hitching moment with your stomach turning into mush.
However you cannot get distracted by how hot your roommate is. Not now anyways.
You scowl. “Mark help me out with rearranging my room. I called you like fifty times.” You swear you probably called him over more than fifty times but for dramatic effect you just tell him you counted. Mark rolls his eyes. He really didn’t want to help you out when he’s very much busy with his own things now. You tend to always interrupt him at the wrong times.
Mark looks back at you. “No.” He said and then walks back inside as the door slams in your face. You drop your jaw to the floor. “No?” You repeated with a now incoming soft laugh. You brush your hand through your hair as you laugh some more repeating his response. No? He said no to you? How dare he. You bite your bottom lip and point to his bedroom room with your finger tutting it around.
You’re going to make him regret that.
What could he be so busy with exactly? You don’t want to be rude about this. He has his own life that’s quite obvious however, you hate to think that he was very busy to the point he couldn’t help you out to do just one thing for you. One thing.
Mark doesn’t really do much around the place anyways. You tend to be the more organised one and lord forbid if Mark ever did any chores. It’s like he’s very much allergic to anything that involved cleaning the house or doing chores around the place.
You stand there taking in your roommates rejection. You should’ve told him he has no choice. He has to help you and that’s the end of the story. You sigh. But then your mind was completely taken off by the thought of him being busy — you start to hear overlapping videos through the door. You hate to admit it but you heard moans. Female moans seemingly like it’s from a technology advice. Mark was watching porn on his laptop and he’s now going to wank off?
You can’t believe it. You interrupted his relief time now. You can’t help but think you had a plan to get him on board to helping your rearrange the furniture now.
“Oh just you wait Mark Lee…” You scowl as you approach the wifi box. It would be a shame if the wifi stops working right? And every electricity in the house stops working Hm? Yeah that would’ve terrible wouldn’t it…
What a shame. You think. Mark should’ve helped you out when he had the chance and offer up because you’re definitely not someone to hit or miss with a rejection. He should’ve just said yes and helped you out with this one little thing and then he could’ve went back to doing his business. As your hands brush over to the plug connecting the wifi to the box you smirk and pull it out when you could hear Mark’s distant voice moaning.
Mark was gaining close and closer to his orgasm. To his own high that he’s been chasing for a while now and you’ve been telling him to do the furniture rearrangement he’s been trying to jerk off his own hard cock for the past thirty minutes or so . Now that he’s pretty close, he was anticipating the orgasm to wash over him. Instead he heard the video stop and his eyes widen.
Did the video just stop? Mark with his free hand checks the wifi connection and it said nothing. Then his computer started to shut down and he cursed slapping the laptop down.
He knew exactly what and who did this. Mark was extremely pissed off now. If anything he’s never been this frustrated in his entire life. He puts back on his shorts and boxers on groaning. He really hates walking around with a solid hard-erected fucking cock around the place. It’s not pleasant.
“That Dirty, Little, Traitor…” Mark frowns as he opens his bedroom door muttering his words under the breath. He was fuming anger at this point.
When he saw you standing by the wifi box he could feel his own anger boiling like he was becoming cooked alive. You really did turn it off at the wrong time when he was about to release. It wasn’t fair Mark thinks. He didn’t deserve this but you feel like you don’t deserve disrespect. Especially when you’re probably the most pettiest person to ever insult and offend.
Mark starts to speak now but you could hear the literal anger building in his tone. You don’t like the way he’s speaking to you right now, so you put your hands between your hips. “Y/n what the fuck is wrong with you exactly?” He wished he could get a proper diagnosis on why you’re being so annoying to him right now.
You smirk at him. “Since you won’t help me finish up, I don’t think I’ll let you finish.” You can tell sexual frustration when you see one and Mark is hella fidgety and now very much all riled up because you interrupted a very important session of his time. His only free time. You like that you got him so worked up. Now you’re going to make him earn it or else he won’t like what’s coming.
For once in your life you saw a man standing there with dark widen eyes gazing into yours. He seems pretty upset but now that he knows you will not put the wifi on unless he helps you with your rearranging furniture he turns around and starts going inside your room with a cold expression. He really doesn’t like this. He didn’t wanna do this but he was desperate here. He wants the wifi back on. You smirk watching him turn around and go to your room as you planned.
You follow him now and you start to grab the free edge of the mattress. Mark ends up using most of his strength to help you move the mattress into a different position. It looks like you got bored of the way your bedroom layout it was.
He’s not been inside your room before. He took a glimpse like once or twice however Mark stays out of your zone and you stay out of his zone.
Your roommate then helps you move the cupboard and the drawers in your room around until you like a position.
Mark feels like he is your slave a little. He puts the drawer to the far right and you shake your head. “A little to the left…” Mark sighs as he hears you say this. He starts to move the drawer a little left now. You tilt your head thinking if you like this position.
It feels like you’re definitely punishing him right now. Mark can’t shake it off but he’s pretty frustrated down below and what’s worse? You’re standing in front of him pretending like this was nothing and not a big deal.
You smirk. “Actually go back to the right one again…” Mark looks at you now with a proper deep gaze that pierced your soul. “Y/n I am not your freaking slave. I helped you out with the heavy stuff now let me go and put the wifi back on.” Your roommate finally snapped at you and you raise an eyebrow crossing your arms across your chest.
“Hmm… no.” You trail. Mark scoffs back at you and he approached you. If you won’t let the wifi back on then he guesses you can help him out now by shutting up. You feel him approach you and your heart skips a beat suddenly. You never seen him make his way to you so intimidatingly and when you’re pressed against your cold bedroom wall now by Mark you feel his hot breath tickle your cheek. You grew red when he looks at you like you’re a meal to be devoured because one, you never ever been this close to Mark before.
And two, you can feel Mark’s hard erected cock pressed on your leg when he has you pressed against the wall in your bedroom. “This isn’t funny Y/n. Stop torturing me.” Mark trails now gazing at you. “If you won’t put the wifi on, you’ll have to help me out now with my own big problem.” He now said darkly to you and you swore you felt your life flash between your eyes when he leans down to kiss you now. You feel your heart racing. Why was your heart racing exactly? The kiss felt too good however. You start to lose yourself in it and Mark seems pretty decent at kissing.
Actually that’s a lie he was freaking amazing. You really need to stop humbling Mark because you never thought he would be so good at this. The way his hands took every second to roam on your beautiful body. He loves every curve. He tugs on your hips pressing you even deeper against the leg he has between your thighs now and you feel the rock solid cock through the fabric of his shorts press now against your lower belly. You feel so caught off guard why was he so hard? You never realised it but you’ve been edging him without even thinking it’s this bad. Mark had a pretty needy problem down below.
He certainly had a big problem. He wasn’t lying when he said it was a big one. The kissing he did so passionately against your mouth irks goosebumps on your skin. You feel like you’re exhilarating at some point the more he kissed your lips like this, so deeply and so roughly you feel like you would explode any second. Your stomach was fluttering like an opening lotus. You feel the way your breathes we’re both so heavy now you can hear it in the silence of your rooms and you can hear Mark’s mouth exploring you so calmly.
He was so calm when he’s kissing you but he’s also so desperate at the same time. It’s like he was a lot more calmer and less frustrated but also a lot more desperate and needy just for you.
You never thought you would love kissing your roommate like this. Never in your life have you thought about making out with your roommate because he was horny. And now you’re equally horny. It’s the little things he does to you too. The way his fingers run down your lower back now and position you against the bed you positioned together. He actually did most of the work with the heavy furniture.
Mark never thought he would be here doing your furniture for you and now he’s going to do you on those furnitures all day long until he’s satisfied. And you’re going to have to deal with it all.
“On the bed, trousers off now.” Mark rasps out when pulling only an inch away from your mouth with his eyes closed. He slowly opens them and you let out a low wispy breath. You did exactly as he said, removing your trousers and he reconnects your mouths together for another kiss. He did the pleasure for you by wrapping his fingers at the bottom hem of your shirt and pulls it off letting your arms freely slip out.
He watches how you’re now eagerly kissing him back as much as possible. He can’t help it. He likes it when you’re becoming as equally into this as he was now. Mark finds it extremely attractive when you kiss him back some more and let your tongue slip in boldly which soon leaves you breathless because that was a bad move. Mark easy took you out with his own tongue wrapped around your own. He controlled you from the simplest possible angles and actions he made. You didn’t last long between the dominant war your tongues held together. Mark won it with ease but that’s okay because the pleasure your tongue received was rewarding almost.
You hate losing the most but when it came to this, maybe you don’t hate losing so much.
Carrying more your own body starts to become worshipped with kisses. Mark travels down his tongue on your neck and collarbone. You purr out your shivers and fast gasping moans when he did this. The fact that it leaves you full of goosebumps really makes you wonder if Mark figured out how your body works or if he’s just so good at pleasing the person he’s with.
Mark smirks hearing against his tongue gasp like this. Your moans were much better than the ones on the laptop video anyways. He definitely found something better to use now than his own hand. He grabs you forward and makes you lay down flat on the bed as he kissed your neck with his lips motioning forward.
He puckers at the softness of your skin and that leaves you begging for more instantly. Mark can tell you’re into this a lot more now.
It’s about to get better for you the more this continues.
When he motions down his hands at your exposed sex you found yourself admitting to the new reality that Mark has now slipped in one finger inside your walls and you feel the pressure building up so much you wail up your head and coo out your moans so softly. Mark thought you were in a different dimension for a minute with the way you react so different now.
He never thought you would look so irresistible with his single digit inside you. It’s already getting you some good extreme reactions he wonders what happens if he puts in his second finger? Mark admires how spread out on the bed you look and your loose arms weakly grab on his forearms and elbow area everytime he pumps the finger in and out of your hole.
You frown out. “Oh god Mark…please don’t stop.” You couldn’t help but lean your head back more against the bedsheets and pillows that is supporting your head. You feel them wrinkle with each movement you move your head around as you take the pleasure. Mark was now on his second digit inside you and it had you squirming to the left and to the right constantly. He enjoys watching you struggle a little.
Perhaps this will teach you a lesson not to interrupt his own private time.
He smirks and suddenly he flicks forward his wrist curling the fingers against a dense but sensitive area inside you and you hitch your moans all the way down your throat. You wanted to say something but you couldn’t. That is how good it felt with Mark’s hands so deep inside you.
“You like that huh?” Mark said watching your expression that’s frowning at the pleasure. You were drowning in the feelings he gave you and your body. You nod frantically at him, so pathetically he thought but he enjoys that side to you.
He smirks. “Should I stop?” And you shake your head as you deeply gasp. “No…! No… don’t stop.” You shake your head now frantically, again, you didn’t want him to stop.
Mark trails now as he felt like you’re gaining up on your orgasm. He won’t be that nice to have your first orgasm with his own fingers. You pause as you feel Mark’s fingers leave your hole and you complain out already at the emptiness missing inside you.
He smirks and looks down at your confused expression. “Sorry princess but you’re going to have to cum on my cock instead.” He vows as he straddles his hands against your ankles just sliding you a little closer to him. He spread you pretty well and you whine. “Oh please… I was really close.” You couldn’t help it. You really wanted your orgasm right there and then.
“I don’t think you deserve to have such a quick orgasm, Y/n, not after you turned off the wifi.” He smirks cockily and you couldn’t help but think how much he has you wrapped around his fingers right now. You lean your head back some more. “I really needed your help with the rearranging though…” you tell him hoping he would understand your solution.
He found your words amusing. “Oh yeah? Well now your insides are about to be rearranged darling.” Mark laughs a little now as he positions out his harden tip against your entrance and pushed it in only a little and then takes it out again. He was teasing you with this knowing you want him inside you now.
You groan at the words. You love how they sounded. It seems like your furniture weren’t the only thing needed to be moved around. When Mark finally enters you it feels like a whole different sensation. The fingers that were deeply inside you felt a lot more different from how his harden shaft was making you feel. It felt so much thicker, better and also had you pulsing around his length so much. Mark never thought he would be addicted to the way his roommate’s walls feel like clenching around his own harden cock with every stepping thrust he does inside you. Mark moves up against your thighs rocking you forward and backwards like you’re a moving seat.
You croak out your moans into your hand which soon didn’t help because the more Mark moves his lingering shaft inside you the more your voice overlaps outside louder and louder with each syllable. Mark cannot help but feel so amazing when you feel your stomach go tighter. “Shit, shit, shit…” Mark paused when he feels himself growing even more intense by how you feel so tight now around him. You’re purposely clenching and pulling him even deeper. Now that your legs wrap round Mark’s waist. Your bodies were inseparable. “You’re making me go deeper… ah my lord…” he seethes now as he watched your outline expression.
You look complexed out by everything he’s doing to you and your body. It feels like your brain was fried and that you’re ascending into another world. Another level of pleasure. You feel so good though and it’s definitely no denying it but you’re fucked out until you’re going dumb with your roommate right now. It feels almost humiliating but at the same time you’re going dumb over Mark’s cock and it makes him feel proud that he can provide you this opportunity and moment to you.
It’s safe to say he won’t let this live down between the both of you. He will never let this moment die out.
When you tightly clench Mark only pistons himself like a motion with jabs stroking himself to go even more faster and now you feel yourself slipping out of your own body, like your soul has left now completely and abandoned your body and mind.
“Oh my…! Mark…! I-I’m so close… you’re being too quick.” You weren’t expecting your orgasm to inflict so quickly inside you right now and when he only started to move so much faster in such inhuman strokes. You feel yourself trembling and finding your eyes widen as day.
Mark didn’t stop at all even though you told him he was being too quick for you to handle your overdue orgasm. He was fucking inside you even more like the rent was due.
He only whispers to you as he kissed your jawline loving how you’re screaming his name like this. “Cum right now, this is the only time you can cum.” He told you as if it was a warning. A threat even. You can’t help but whimpering out your own voice. He had such authority over you that you started to orgasm on his own command terms.
When they orgasm infects you so badly you rest there with your eyes rolling back and Mark continues to thrust in when your orgasm was happening on top of you. It felt like you’re becoming double penetrated; by your orgasm and by his thrusts never loosing the pace. He continues to become very fast now that he was chasing his own orgasm.
Within that moment you feel your second high coming now and you feel yourself become warm again and you moan again now. Mark feels himself grunting.
“You’re about to come again aren’t you?” Mark’s voice was so deep and breathy but also very keen when he spoke to you. Mark was definitely amused by how much he’s done to you. He’s making you orgasm again, and again.
You cannot help but feel almost embarrassed but at the same time you like the fact that you were having such a good release when it was with your roommate.
You choke out an incoming sobbing moan. “Y-Yeah… oh god… I cant…! I need to come… Mark, I need to come.” You wail out your words that don’t even make sense to him anymore because Mark’s mind was a cloud now. He was getting cloudy and he didn’t pay attention on anything when he felt his cock twitch deeply inside you with that final deep thrust he has jabbed forward against your hips.
At this point Mark responds a little late to your words but he flung his head back groaning. “Oh princess I’m about to fill you up…”
The way his hands grab on your own hips too and pull them down which makes your orgasm feeling even more powerful. You came together this time and your second orgasm felt even more better than the first one you had. Now that you have milked every last bit of him inside you. You stir up every drop not leaving anything slip out except Mark flooding himself inside your own womb.
You take a minute to blink out of the pleasure at the front of your window. The bedroom only held your pants and your silence before Mark and you regain your concentration again. You try to conceal your redden skin on your cheeks because you feel quite warm, not just warm but overwhelmingly warm from your double orgasm and getting filled up with Mark’s warm liquid makes you feel even more inflated and full.
You somehow like that feeling however. Of being full of your roommates splutter.
Mark smirks a little down at you as he can see your red cheeks and he leans closer towards your body and whispers. “So… do you need anymore help rearranging your furniture?”
Maybe he can help you out some more with your furniture after all…
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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu. Please reblog this fic and follow me for more it helps a girl out <3.
1K notes · View notes
angelcent · 3 months
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DARK SPRING ・❥・ YUUTA OKKOTSU
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summary. yuuta is having relationship troubles and he isn’t sure how to go about it. 
tags. established relationship, college au, mentions of blood, murder, yuuta pov, suggestive sex. 2k wc.
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“Where were you? I stopped by the shop to bring you food, but they said you weren’t in today.”
The door squeaks softly on its hinges as you slowly close it behind you. Once it's is fully closed and locked in place, the doorway remains tensely silent. Yuuta watches as you turn to him fully with slightly widened eyes, lips opening and closing as you struggle to answer. There's nothing accusatory about his tone, but the way he holds your gaze with those dark eyes of his is making you hesitate.
He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he finds himself relishing in the upper hand that he has over you right now. Just this morning you had told him on your daily phone call that you’d be busy with work later tonight. That often meant you wouldn’t see each other until the next day, but you’ve been so distant lately that Yuuta’s been yearning for you more than usual.
He ached to see you, even if it was just picking up food from your favorite restaurant and dropping it off at the bookstore. It’s still packaged and bagged, now sitting cold on your kitchen counter. 
You weren’t at work when you said you’d be, and now you’re unsure of what to say. Though he's caught you in your lie before you even respond, Yuuta decides to file it away at the back of his mind. Benevolent as always with you , he gives you an out instead.
He smiles gently and takes your backpack from you to lessen the weight on your shoulders. “Did you get the days mixed up, love?”
“Y-yeah, I guess I did. Sorry, I was studying at the library.” you reply carefully, giving him a tentative kiss on the cheek as you step further into your apartment. “I’ve just been a little stressed about the midterm coming up.”
Like fresh morning air kissing your cheeks, Yuuta eases you into a sense of relaxation like the good boyfriend that he is. He caresses your cheek and goes to reheat your takeout for you while you take a shower—which is something you used to do before bed and not right after coming home. It may be minuscule to others, but he’s always been observant of your little details. It’s how he keeps you happy and something you’ve appreciated about him, as he’s always attentive to you and your needs.
It’s also the reason he’s noticed that it’s not the first lie he’s caught you in lately.
You’ve been a sneaky little thing; saying you’re someplace when you’re actually not, claiming you’ve gone to sleep yet he sees you’ve read his text at 2am—staying out later but not informing him where, no longer asking him to accompany you to the laundromat, and taking more showers than usual. 
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Yuuta pretends as if everything is alright. Yet there’s doubt stirring in his gut.
He asks Megumi about it. Megumi says to leave you alone as you’re probably dealing with something and don’t want to be bothered.
He asks Maki afterward. She says to straight up confront you about what you’re hiding and talk it out like adults.
He even asks Professor Gojo, who tuts at the fragility of young love but doesn’t give an actual answer. Then again, he’s chronically single. What would he know?
It leaves him at a deadlock. Maki’s advice is the most sound, but so is Megumi’s. Yuuta doesn’t want to push your boundaries and force you to confide in him, even if he’s your boyfriend and it’s what he desperately wants. But he also believes that being honest to you about his doubts could clear up these inconsistencies. 
He opts for neither.
What’s funny is that it’s Professor Gojo’s nonsensical spiel that speaks to him most. Young love is fragile, and Yuuta is afraid of doing anything that will compromise your relationship. Almost to a fault, if he had to be honest with himself. A misstep could cause an explosive argument and drive you away from him. It’s an outlandish thought brought forth by his deep affection for you, as you’re not that type of person at all.
You’re level-headed, patient, sweet, and kind—the most beautiful girl Yuuta's ever laid eyes on. He can’t lose you. 
So what he does instead is he begins to follow you around. He watches as you enter the History building where your night class is, and remains outside for some time. He gives himself half an hour before he decides to go in, but the time mark doesn’t even pass before you walk out of the building. Through the side door. You’re not not carrying your backpack or books on you, and he wouldn’t have even noticed your dark clad figure if he hadn’t been intently watching.  
It’s easier to follow you through the dark night when you’re on campus as there’s still several other students roaming about and allowing him to blend in amongst them. Yet you eventually leave the university and take to the quiet streets. Yuuta curses under his breath and has to create a larger distance to remain undetected. It works in your favor when he eventually loses track of you and has to head back to his apartment. 
It’s not until much later when he's laying restlessly awake in bed and staring at your fake goodnight text that he wonders what you were even doing. He could’ve headed back to the History building and waited for you or asked your classmates where you were, but he told his own lie to even follow you in the first place; that he was spending the night at Toge's.
What an elusive bunny you were turning out to be. It only made Yuuta's desire for you burn even deeper, branding his soul as yours.
While he’d love to follow your every move, he also has classes, a job he can't miss, and is a teacher's assistant to a pretentious man with keen attention to detail. I’m following my girlfriend around to find out what she’s hiding, was not a valid excuse. Not even Professor Geto would accept it. As charming as he is, his mentor also has no lovers so he wouldn’t understand.
It’s not until weeks later on a sunny weekend that he finally has you all to himself. The two of you are having breakfast at a small diner, and his eyes are boring into the chunky TV mounted on the wall while you’re digging into your french toast beside him in the leather booth. He’s gratefully sipping on his black coffee and hoping it revitalizes his will to live, as he’s lost sleep over you ever since that first night he lost track of you. 
His hair is messier than usual and there’s dark circles under his eyes, which you sweetly fuss over and attempt to kiss away as if you’re not the reason for it. But you don’t know this, and Yuuta won’t place that guilt on your shoulders, so he basks in your affection and reassures you that he’s fine. The exhaustion is seeping deep into his shoulder blades as he continues to watch the news when his eyes suddenly widen at the screen. 
“Y/N, look.” he shakes your shoulder gently, and turns to you in a frenzy. The buzz of conversation in the diner has gone down suddenly, someone turning up the volume on the TV. “It’s—”
His teeth instinctively bite down, and a burst of sweetness lands on his tongue from the cherry you popped into his mouth. He’s treated to the delightful sight of you laughing at his surprise, and then you take another cherry from your dish and place it between your teeth. You look at him expectantly with the fruit still visible to him, and it makes his cheeks heat up.
He knows what you want. 
Yuuta hesitantly looks around the restaurant and finds that the other patrons are paying you two no mind, most are looking in the direction of the TV. Once he’s reassured there’s no eyes on you in your small booth, he leans down and takes the cherry from your lips with his own. The red juice splits in half between the two of you and drips messily down your chins, but you both don’t care. 
He chuckles into your mouth, cupping your jaw as you swap the cherry in a deeply sensual kiss. It feels like ages since he’s laughed and trades kisses with you, so he’s bolder than usual, his previous bashfulness at PDA gone. He sucks on the juice from your tongue and curls his other palm into your waist, pulling you flush against him.
The warmth of your body spurs him on, and he can't help but nibble on your lower lip. You whimper and gasp his name into his mouth—yuuta—your delicate hands grasping at his white button up. That familiar fire lights within him—hungry and possessive—that drives Yuuta to madness. That dizzying, heady madness driven by love.
You spend the entire day at his apartment, not once leaving the bedroom. 
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Yuuta thought that spending an entire day worshiping your naked body and painting your insides over and over with his sticky load—marking his territory—would ease his mind over what you’re hiding, but it doesn’t. Because it continues on, and Yuuta finds himself stuck on a cycle. He moves his entire schedule to have an opening, he follows you, and he loses track of you every single time. 
He even begins to call you every night to make sure that you’re getting home safe, as things have been shady around town. He offers to walk you home, even if his class schedule conflicts with yours and his job is on the other side of town. But you stubbornly decline, not wanting to impose on his already busy schedule.
The thing is, Yuuta is also stubborn. He’s tenacious once determined, something that Professor Geto says will get him far in life. So, he calls out of work and follows you closer than he has so far. Even when he’s sure he’ll find you where he thinks, he rounds the corner to the parking lot behind an abandoned warehouse after minutes of silence and finds it empty of you. He’s greeted by the cold night air and the metallic smell of blood. 
Panic shoots up his body and has him running further until he reaches the end of the lot and his white sneakers almost step on a puddle of blood. It glistens dark under the moonlight, and it has Yuuta’s hands shaking as his eyes follow the small trail. It leads him to a large dumpster; rusty from years without use. His heart is beating out of his ears as he looks down into the dark abyss.
But it’s not you that he finds. 
Immediately, he sighs in relief and places a palm over his pounding chest before the realization kicks in. Because while it isn’t you, he recognizes who it is.
Well, he actually doesn’t know who he is.
It’s the man who bumped his shoulder and tried to drunkenly start a fight with him one night when the two of you were walking to the movies after a dinner date. Yuuta was going to let it go and get you out of there as your safety was his only priority, but the man backhanded him while slurring obscenities. Still, he remained calm even as he flipped the man’s entire weight until he landed flat on the ground with a knee to his chest. The man’s friends nervously apologized over and over, but Yuuta only had eyes for you. Instead of responding to the blubbering idiots, he tenderly asked if you were okay and got off of the man when you nodded.
He got up, took your smaller hand in his, and never looked back. He really thought it was the end of that, but here was the man now. Rotting in a dumpster. The sight stunned him to his spot, and with shaky hands, he grabbed his phone and called you.
Suddenly, that morning at the diner rings in his head like an alarm. Like a sirens song, he had been so charmed by your flirtations that the news headlines were pushed to the back of his mind. It was no coincidence, then.
Yuuta anticipates your voicemail after several rings when you finally answer. 
“Hello?”
“Hey, sweetheart. Where are you?” he asks lightly, eyeing the corpse. The limbs are bent out of shape, grotesque in the way it was forced to fit inside the small space.
“I’m—” you paused, and it’s only then that Yuuta could hear you catching your breath. He turns and sees a small alleyway beside him as a side exit to this lot. “I’m walking home from work. What’s up?”
“It’s so late,” Yuuta sighs, absently checking the outsoles of his sneakers for any blood. Both are good. “You should’ve at least called me. I’m worried about you being out right now. You know, I heard that Miss Ito was killed recently.”
You click your tongue. “Ah, was she? That’s so scary.”
But you didn’t sound scared at all.
Why would you? Miss Ito was the bartender at the local music venue who shamelessly flirted with Yuuta, continuously doing so even when you were there. She was a few years older and always giving him and only him free drinks, all while “playfully” trying to paint you as an immature girl who can’t keep up with him. 
“Mhm, it is.” Yuuta doesn’t know a lick of what murdering someone entails, but he assumes it’s tiring. He can hear it in your lovely voice and he doesn’t want to add to it. “Call me back when you’re home, alright? I miss falling asleep with you.”
Your voice softens. “I do too, Yuuta. I’ll call you right when I get there. I love you so so much, you have no idea.”
Yuuta thinks he knows how much, if the stab wound right in the man’s neck is anything to go by.
“I love you too.” he smiles, sending you a little kiss before the call ends.
He remains standing for a few seconds before crouching down and opening up a private tab on his phone. He learns how to scrub blood and footprints off of asphalt and other various methods to clean up traces. The box of rubber gloves under your bathroom sink flashes in his mind and he knows that his girl is smart. 
The pride that blooms in Yuuta's chest should concern him, but he welcomes it like an old friend.
Because this isn’t the first person you’ve killed. After that night, he begins to look deeper into other deaths in the area and the timeframe aligns with all the other times that you’ve disappeared from him. Some kills are random while others are personal—mainly those who have wronged him in the slightest way.
All this time Yuuta was afraid of losing you, but you’ve been so devoted to him the entire time. So he devotes himself right back to you just as he’s always done. He appears when you leave after a fresh kill and cleans up any little slip ups you may have missed, scrubbing away anything that can trace back to you. He’s diligent, like a guardian angel always at your shoulder.
He even catches you in the act one night. His dark eyes widen at the sights and sounds, but his heart beats only for you. He pays no mind to the dying person and worries for your aching body. Already, he’s planning to draw a bath for you and slip in behind you so he can scrub your back and wash your hair.
The thing is, Yuuta understands that what’s happening isn’t right. He knows that what you’re doing is vile and disgusting and should be punished. But he also understands that he just can’t let that happen.
You’re his sweet girl who’s soft and has given him a home in your heart. The girl who wraps him in her arms when he can’t sleep and soothes him until he does. The one who patiently allowed him to grieve over his loss and never judged him for obsessing over a childhood love. 
Yuuta knows now that you love every part of him, and he’ll love every part of you as well. He’ll uplift you and strive to be the best future husband that he can be, and he’ll bury every single body you splatter on the ground. 
@yutaleks @gojoath just wanted to tag the yuutaists. ❤︎ notes. this is a re-upload from my old account, almost two years ago? I tweaked it just a bit, hope you enjoyed!
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deadandphilgames · 3 days
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A note from Daniel (new epilogue from You Will Get Through This Night)
Thank you for reading This Night. Writing this book in 2021, while sitting locked down in a lightless basement apartment for months, had a certain self-fulfilling irony that was not lost on me.
In many ways, I wrote this book for not only my past self that I wish could have known these things when I needed them most - but for the guy sitting in an incredibly uncomfortable, hunched, t-rex-esque position typing, that needed it right then. Like many of you, I thought those particularly fun couple of years were a temporary inconvenience, that I wouldn't have to age the book by diving into. And here we are. I hope you enjoyed that new chapter about resilience and whatever the hell a 'polycrisis' is. Turns out certain global events do have an additional effect on our mental health - it's understandable that you may try to power through it and pretend it never happened, but we all deserve to take whatever time we need to honestly process how life makes us feel. I hope you're doing alright. My journey of reflecting honestly on my own life experiences and lifestyle while writing was …like spontaneously punching yourself in the stomach. "Wow. I really live like this? That is apparently not conducive to a healthy mind. Oops. Guess I'll go touch some grass." I'm happy if that made this a more entertaining read occasionally.
Even now, I find myself continually re-reading the book in those small moments of first emotional reaction to situations where I now at least think "Wait - what was I supposed to do here? Right. Not catastrophise." If this is you - that is fine. You are not expected to perfectly memorise this book or retain all knowledge you hear in life. I know I don't. If you're ever sat next to me in the emergency exit aisle of a plane, know that you may be required to physically throw me out of the door in order to inflate the slide because I was busy during the briefing, imagining how my life would have been different if I actually had the nerve to dye my hair black that time in school. I am at peace with that.
It was honestly terrifying for me to try and mine the content of my life to try and actually illustrate advice for people that may really need it …for me to honestly look at the balance between joking about my mental health, and really getting real. Hey - if your attempt at opening up via some humour comes out a bit offensive, you still get points for at least putting it on the table. That's progress.
This is not a book about me. I am here just as an example of terrible behaviour that you have permission to have an inappropriate public transport snort at, and as a writer who has repeatedly not finished traditional 'self-help' or scientific study books for being dry, unrelatable and preachy. I just hope you found this moist, identifiable and accepting of all of your beautiful flaws. So many flaws. I often worried if any of the material was maybe obvious, or something you could stumble across on the second page of Google - then I had a small moment of honesty with myself contemplating my own ignorance, commitment to procrastination, attention span …and the fact that factually just 0.63% of all people searching online, ever bother clicking to the second page of results. If you already knew some of this, good for you. Honestly. You must literally be happy with yourself. I'm just looking in the mirror and trying to do something for the 99.37% of humanity that spend their lives never successfully researching how to not lay awake at night fantasising about their doom. Look forward to the upcoming pocket size book of 'offensively self-destructive jokes' by Dan - or 700-page memoir of my yet un-girthy, mostly unremarkable life so far if that's what you're really looking for.
Perhaps the most terrifying result of releasing this book into the world, has been coming face to face with those of you that have read it. For in these moments, all of my protective self-deprecating persona comes crashing down in an instant when someone says this book made them feel better. Hearing that this book was the first time they finished anything tangentially related to self-improvement, or that just one thing they read was a new perspective on a part of their life they needed, makes me feel my mission in life is already complete. Seeing it be recommended by bookstores amongst all the other choices, hearing that people have shared it with their therapists or had it suggested to them by a professional, is an unbelievable seal of approval that I appreciate. I am so inarticulably grateful to have been given the opportunity to do anything that could make your life easier, more peaceful, more enjoyable. I've met people who annotated this book with post-its, told me they listen to audiobook exercises on their commute - and even a few people that have had illustrations tattooed onto them as a symbolic reminder of a message.
All of this puts that year of typing like some kind of infinite monkey at a typewriter into perspective. I'd do it all again. Mostly. It has been the greatest privilege of my life to be the guy whose name is printed on this book, and I just hope that reading it helped you, as much as writing it helped me.
Love and good luck.
- Dan
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