#i just remember him being referred to as mr refreshing or the guy with the refreshing face and i have to squint to see it

[kitamars]

some soogs

#idk whether its bc it was actually said in the show or the hq parallels have finally broken my brain but #(actually not parallels just things i noticed and said ‘hey! just like haikyuu’) #i just remember him being referred to as mr refreshing or the guy with the refreshing face and i have to squint to see it #love him though #i don’t think you see a character like him very often so yeah #he’s great #okita sougo #gintama #ok bye

[chronicbatfictioner]

Exchanges and Compromises - Chapter 20

The dinner was just as Jason expected, bland, dull, a lot of formalities in which Bane was visibly struggling with and did not even bother to pretend to know the difference between steak or salad forks. Jason, Dick, and Tim managed to keep the conversation alive and light, somehow without offending the formality of the dinner. Good thing, Jason thought, that The League had taught him of formal dinner etiquette and whatnot, otherwise he would have been slurping the baiwang with the soup spoon instead of the Chinese soup spoon provided by Alfred - like Bane.

Dick, for all of his lack of etiquette education, won in the manners division - regardless of the fact that Tim was helping him by pointing out which cutlery should be used for what. At the very least, he was not beneath asking what he wasn't sure of. 

The day after was a little duller. Alfred merely informed them that the police were there along with the District Attorney, Harvey Dent, to arrest Bane on several counts of murder. Bane was arrested nearly without a fight - he had been purged of his venom strength and knew that he had no chance against some of the cops who were ready to taser him.

Jason was... frankly, a little disappointed.

"Would've been nice if there was a brawl or something," Dick voiced Jason's thought out loud just as he walked outside.

"Oh, goodness, I'm just glad this is over," Bruce commented, glaring apprehensively at Dick's back as the latter walked away with Damian. There was a good long silence before he added, "I presume now that Bane is out of this house, Damian will no longer need you two? I mean, he has me now - and his grandparents." he pointed out.

"I have vowed to guard Damian until he is an adult," Jason replied simply. Ignoring Bruce's sudden change of expression. "it is my order."

"Well, Talia... no offense. But Talia won't-- is no longer around to hold you accountable." Bruce argued.

"No, she's not. But Damian is." Jason looked at the child, sitting under one of the Manor's massive trees with a thick sketchbook before him. Dick, Jason knew, was on the tree. Even with Bane arrested, Oracle had warned that as long as he's not fully incarcerated in a maximum-security facility, he could still either get out and hurt the Waynes - including Damian. Therefore Jason asked Dick to remain with them for a little while longer. Thankfully, Dick didn't mind.

"He's a child. Children adapt well with changes of environments," Bruce said. "and if you're afraid that Bane would come back, I can hire some bodyguards for him."

Jason managed to hold back his smirk. People always thought that he was there to protect Damian; not realizing that he was protecting others from Damian's temper. Instead, he smarted, "like you protected your parents by sending them overseas."

"Oh, now, that's not fair." Bruce protested. "It was... we all thought that... at least mother and I..." he didn't finish his sentence as he exhaled exasperatedly. "His DNA check is back," he continued after a few moments of silence.

"Obviously, he hasn't a drop of Wayne blood in him," Jason suggested, a little dryly. "Something anyone with knowledge of the molecular structure of DNA would have known right away. You accepted Damian right away because you saw he has your mother's ears, in spite of his green eyes. Yet you doubted your father's denial in spite of the fact that there is nothing on Bane that resembled any of you - including about all of the portraits of your ancestors.

"And then there's something else I realized. Bane came with nothing; whereas Damian came with the Al Ghul wealth. You were more accepting because Damian would not equal splitting the Wayne wealth..."

"That is not true!" Bruce growled. "I would not have turned Damian away even if he was not Talia's child. He is my child, and I know that he is!"

"Then we're back to my initial point: You were unable to defend your parents because you did not have 100% faith in their virtues. The Al Ghuls are known leaders of the League of Assassins, to which the leadership shall now be Damian's. What will be your argument, when he decides to take over the League fully? 'Oh, I can't be associated with criminals, even if said crimes were just allegation and not a video recording of someone snapping off another person's neck'?" Jason sneered. "Now, Mister Wayne. I also would like to remind you, that I have Damian's legal custody. If you insist I should leave, I shall bring him along."

"You can't do that," Bruce scowled. "He's my biological child..."

"You have studied your country's laws, Mister Wayne. But you forgot the one crucial thing: Damian is not your country's boy by any means other than your claim." Jason mentally realized that he has placed one of his ace cards onto the table. But he honestly prefers this kind of conversation not to be had when Damian is present. And from the looks of it, he has packed his sketching materials and was making his way back indoors. "Do not try to deny Damian's access to me, or the League, Mr Wayne. He is not yours to manipulate," he added softly while Damian was still out of range.

"Hey guys, Damian and I are hungry," Dick announced as they went past the door. "Think Alfred would let us have cookies?"

"He's the one who is hungry, Todd," Damian told Jason. "I shall wait until tea time for the cookies. It is only a mere hour away."

"Why don't you scrub up a little? Tea should be ready by the time you're done." Bruce suggested.

Damian's scowl could have killed a cobra. "While I am planning on refreshing myself, father, it would be kind of you to cease directing me as if I am an imbecile," he stated, and for the second time in less than 10 minutes, Jason bit the inside of his cheek to stop a snicker.

Bruce, however, was not amused at Damian. "Well! That is not what a child should say to his father!" he admonished.

"Todd," Damian glared at Jason. "Did you not inform Mr Wayne here that I merely referred to him as 'father' due to common societal practices?" he asked with air quotes around the word 'father'.

"I have informed him that, Damian," Jason assured him.

"Do remind him on a daily basis that I am not obliged to remain here beyond what is demanded by his country's societal norms." Damian continued.

"I shall, Damian," Jason replied.

"Very well, I shall be in my quarters until tea time. You might consider feeding Grayson here, Todd," Damian said dismissively.

"I actually have some matters to discuss with you, Damian, if you don't mind. I think Grayson can fend for himself just fine," Jason told him.

"I don't mind. Let us, then." Damian said, leading the way back to his room.

Jason nodded politely to Bruce and motioned Dick to join him. "Mr Wayne, Grayson."

As they left Bruce, still standing in confusion - probably - Dick remarked, "ouch," softly.

"Go on and get your own cookies, Grayson," Jason remarked.

"I need to discuss something with you, too. You two, actually, somewhere safe." Dick said. Both Jason and Damian paused their steps. "Yeah, and we might need to call upon a certain bird for backup," Dick added, almost nonchalantly. It was not until then that Jason noticed the tenseness on his shoulders. He remembered that Dick, too, was trained to keep an eye out for danger.

"You go on ahead with Damian, I'll ask Alfred if he may have tea in his quarters." Jason decided. Damian nodded, realizing the urgency in Dick's posture, and stepped a little closer to Dick as Jason turned the other way.

Whatever it is Dick has to say, Jason could be certain now that besides himself, Dick would protect Damian fiercely. And/or protect other, possibly innocent people, from Damian's tempers.

He was just wondering why did it seem that Bruce Wayne was so intent on removing him.

And why Dr and Mrs Wayne would suddenly take a trip to Europe right after they were proverbially and literally freed from Bane.

Alfred, as usual, was in the kitchen preparing for tea time. In spite of being Americans, the Waynes seemed to like the habit of afternoon tea time.

Jason told Alfred of Damian's request, and Alfred nodded slowly. "Is Master Bruce still in the sun-room, then?" he asked.

"Last time I saw him, yeah."

"Ah, then... young Jason, may an old man request something from you and your vast knowledge of herbs?" Alfred's face was as impassive as ever when he said that, just a shade before he returned to his task of preparing some small sandwiches. But Jason was a little confused. Why would Alfred ask him for herbs? As far as Jason could tell, he was as healthy as... well, someone Jason's age, which has got to be at least a third of Alfred's; half at most. Jason didn't think that Alfred was any older than mid- to late-40s.

"Sure, how can I help?" he answered, anyway.

"Oh, I was wondering if there is any method you may suggest to... how do I put it... Chafe off surgical remains within oneself? I have had work done for my nose, you see, on a whim as a young lad; and I do not believe it looks becoming on me as I age. I feel as if it makes me look like another person is inhabiting my body, as Master Bruce was wont to say."

Jason blinked, and partially wished Dick was there to confirm his thoughts. In spite of being the exact same height as Jason, Alfred was bowing his head a little as he spoke; and Jason knew that there was a surveillance camera that would be able to record their conversation in the kitchen. His shoulders were tenser than the task of cutting bread would have required.

"Well, wow... okay. I'll need to actually search my books. You know some of the ladies back then would apply something to their skin for scars or bruises. But I'm not sure if it'll work on surgical stuff. I'll let you know?" Jason replied carefully.

"Thank you, Jason, for considering. While it shames me for being vain, it is... rather crucial." Alfred smiled at him.

"No problem, Alf," Jason patted him on the shoulder and made his way back to Damian's room - where each and every surveillance device has been disabled and/or misdirected by the combination of Tim, Barbara, and Damian's own skills.

Once Jason walked in and closed the doors of Damian's room behind him, he was greeted by both Damian and Dick's voices.

"That man is not my father, Todd! I believe my grandparents may still be in danger!" Damian exclaimed as Dick stormed over and announced 'There was an increase of drone activities outside, that's why I brought Damian in!' - followed by Damian and Dick glaring at each other, and Damian said, "Todd, we might need to acquire some new exit strategy!" at the same time as Dick saying, 'I've sent a text to Tim, but he hasn't answered. I've texted Babs, though!'

Jason cringed at them. "Whoa! Hold up! If this is how you two kids report, nobody would need surveillance equipment to hear you from Gotham Harbor!" he snarled. The two promptly stopped and glared at each other again, as if they both were hoping to have Superman's laser vision or something. "Okay, I've heard you both, and I'm upping the ante. Alfred just asked me practically for a method to dissolve foreign objects inside someone's body and allude that someone in the house is not who they seemed. And said someone might be Bruce."

Damian threw his fist to the air, stating, "I knew it!"

Dick's eyes were wide as saucers. "Okay... I would... I've wanted to say the same thing since we got in. But I was kinda scared I might be wrong. What makes you sure?"

"Alfred referred to Bruce in the past tense when talking to me," Jason said. "You? --wait, no, Damian first."

"He looked and behaved differently than the videos mother had shown me," Damian replied.

"I second Damian on this. Well, dude... we need to communicate better, don't we?" Dick said, telling the last bit toward Damian. "I've only met him once, way back when-- when my parents were... you know. But like I've told you, I remember everything from that day as if it has just happened. I remember Bruce Wayne was there with a blonde girl wearing chinchilla fur, a 50s hairdo, and an actual pearl pin. But when my parents... right after, I saw him directing traffic of people out of the tent calmly. His presence then was literally calming, like, everyone was looking at him for direction. This Bruce... generally, looked too nervous on everything; if that makes sense."

Jason thought a moment. Dick was really good at reading people's body language - even the most stoic Alfred. Before Bane was removed, Dick's assessment of Alfred was that he was uncomfortable with Bane, yet very welcoming of Damian. Thus his immediate trust in Alfred. However, since Bane was arrested and proven to not have been a Wayne; Jason hasn't got the chance to ask Dick to re-assess Alfred.

"Okay, I'll retrieve the video footage of your dad from 10 years ago from the League's servers. We'll cross-check. We'll tell the Birds once we're sure, yeah?" Jason suggested.

"Agreed," Damian nodded slowly.

"I'll have Tim keeping an eye on the Doc and Missus while we're at it, though. I mean, you know, precautions and all." Dick suggested.

"Okay, call Tim. If he doesn't answer, call Babs or his mom. I'd like this whole thing settled quickly before Bruce can do anything to harm Damian." Jason huffed a breath slowly, wondering what the hell is it with the Waynes that seemed to run on endless conspiracy theories, anyway.

#Batless!AU #Jason Todd #Dick Grayson #Bruce Wayne #Damian Wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #JayTim #Red Ghost!jason #Talon!Dick

[yourwildsimp]

Typically

This makes many references to No Regrets (an insight on Levi before he enrolled in the Scouts.) I also tried a new writing style, so please, give me feedback!

includes: Erwin, Levi

warnings: alcoholic themes, depression, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), mentions of suicidal thoughts/actions

length: 2,028 words

•°•°•°•

Erwin Smith was typically content in his mattress by 10:30, praying to whatever gods that may (or may not) be out there that his slumber would be blissful and refreshing. He typically knew of his subordinates' locations and their relative mental states this late into any given night. He typically had most of his paperwork signed and stacked into a neat, organized pile.

Though tonight, as trepidation rolled over him in slow, progressing waves, Erwin Smith was neither content nor situated in a well-put-together office. He did not know where the Captain was or when the elusive man would return. He did not know beforehand that multiple contracts would need the Captain's signature. Hell, Erwin did not know if Levi could even write in cursive. At the moment, he did not know a lot of things.

Erwin wasn't exactly enthusiastic about experiencing these feelings of troubling uncertainty.

The dense thud of staggering boots on the half-rotted wooden flooring impeded Erwin's vexing thoughts. Moving from his spot by the window that overlooked the training grounds, he hastily stalked towards his office door. Yet as his fingertips were mere inches from the handle, the door slammed open, catching the Commander off guard.

Erwin back-stepped as no one other than Levi himself lost his footing from kicking the door open. The door frame was the only thing that aided Levi's attempt at steadying his balance; Erwin was far too focused on darting his bewildered eyes over Levi's condition.

Was the blunt and foul-mouthed Levi Ackerman. . . Drunk?

No, that couldn't be right. The man despised everything about alcohol: the lasting effects, the heavy smell, the noxious health problems. Every time the Corps tried to get Levi to drink, he had remarked about booze being nothing more than poison marketed as a miracle tonic. But, what else could explain the unfocused eyes that were typically sharp and observant or the swaying small frame that was typically nimble and composed?

"Have you been drinking, Levi? You look terrible."

The vicious scowl Erwin received told him that the way he worded his concern was extremely misinterpreted.

"Oh, fuck you, jackass. Not everyone can look like a shining star, Smith." Levi's words were unnaturally slurred, further proving what Erwin refused to accept. "Get outta my way and let me in."

Erwin cautiously stepped to the side- as he'd rather keep this peculiar sight to himself and spare the Captain's dignity. Levi's shoulder shoved against Erwin's bicep as he stumbled into the Commander's office. A snarl remarking Erwin's height was woven into the tense atmosphere of the room.

"Where have you been?" Erwin asked as he gently shut the door, keeping an apprehensive gaze on Levi.

He simply received a distracted scoff. Erwin took a deep breath before he huffed out of his nose. He watched as Levi fumbled through various unlocked drawers in search of who-knows-what.

"Levi-"

"Where's your Devil's water, Smith?" Erwin narrowed his eyes in confusion before Levi, belligerently, elaborated. "Your liquor, dip-shit. Where have you stashed it?"

Erwin pressed his lips into a thin line before he offered a calculated answer, "I don't hide alcohol in my office." A spiteful string of obscenities left Levi's swollen lips, the drunk balling his fist tight by his sides. "Liar! You're a filthy deceiver, you know that? You're worth less than the shit in the stables! A sleaze bag from the Underground would be more helpful than you!"

Erwin paused, studying Levi like Hange would study a Titan. "Are you okay, Levi?" He knew the question was redundant the moment the words left his lips.

“Fuck!” Levi yelled, tugging on his already loose cravat. “Am I okay? What kind of bullshit question is that? Hell, my uncle used to tell me that life’s like a toilet paper roll; you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole- and you know what? You’re that asshole, Smith!”

"Be careful of the open window, Levi," Erwin warned, as polished and unwavering as ever. His indifference to the slew of insults and profanities made Levi's blood boil.

Erwin only moved closer when the Captain disregarded his warning and continued to near the dangerously open casement. Erwin tuned out the vulgarities that were continuously hurled at him with an intense enmity, the gears clicking together in his head.

There was a chance Levi's destination was through the window- a chance Erwin was not willing to take.

"What are you doing? You're going to fall out," Erwin said more forcefully.

The change in the Commander's tone didn't seem to phase Levi, who was resting his forearms on the window sill. As Levi's weight shifted to his unstable upper body, Erwin could feel his heartbeat pounding in his throat, temples, fingertips- everywhere except his chest.

Levi went quiet, his drunken tantrum utterly forgotten as childlike wonder filled his eyes. In the moment of calm after the storm, Erwin couldn't fail to notice that Levi looked so much younger when he wasn't so pent up. The Captain was significantly more demonstrative when he was intoxicated; and may it be good or bad, Erwin was content with Levi seeming mortal.

"He used to hate heights, and she smoked him for it," Levi broke the moment of silence with hardly a whisper. "It was all a game to her."

Erwin's features, which were glazed over with faux insouciant, didn't match the curious gaze he studied Levi with. He stood inert, fearful of scaring Levi into a diligent silence or another aggressive episode. Erwin didn't ask for extensive details, nor did he implore Levi to move away from the window again. He simply waited, having an idea of what was plaguing his inebriated soldier's mind.

"You know, when you found me, we were heading to get a job done," Levi spoke so softly that Erwin felt the need to hold his breath to hear him properly.

The Commander took Levi's brief pause as an opening to speak, despite having nothing to say. "Is that so?"

Levi exhaled something grim; something that nearly sounded like an empty chuckle. "Yeah, Smith, it is."

Levi ignored how Erwin wearily moved closer as he adjusted himself further out of the window. The Captain relished in a twisted feeling of pride knowing that he could make his superior jump to aid him, that he could make the man twitch with such a deep sense of uneasiness- so much so that it shone in his perceptive blue eyes.

"Levi, get away from-"

"He was so nervous for the mission, despite it being so. . . " Levi swayed his hand through the night air, searching for the right word after cutting Erwin, and his concerns, off. "So pointless," is what he settled for.

"It was just a run-through," he huffed out a sigh, "check the brothel for any kids, start trouble if there were. Then, haul ass to the surface to get the brats to somewhere safer. Simple, right?"

Erwin swallowed, his gaze settling on Levi's reflection in the mirror.

"But, something always has to fuck me over," Levi spat with a clenched jaw, capturing the window sill in an iron grip. "Isn't that right?! You simply adore dancing all of your puppets around until they can't take it anymore- but you don't stop, do you?!" Levi screamed at the full moon in the sky.

Erwin sharply exhaled through his nose, Levi swaying side to side like empty ODM gear in the breeze. Levi swore and stretched his fingers out to relieve the tension in them.

"I bumped into a guy whose ego was as big as his body. The bastard was huge and wouldn't let it go." Levi hung his head, the stars bringing back memories he'd rather forget. "I think you were there when we had settled the issue and took off."

Erwin remembers like it happened yesterday. He could never forget the first time he saw Levi fly on the Wings of Revolution; it was enchanting.

Levi outstretched his arm, one foot leaving the floor as he reached to the giant moon glowing against the night sky.

"Levi, you need to stop being heedless, or you'll fall and end up dead!" Erwin finally snapped, his hand darting to grab Levi's. He missed his target, the shorter one moving unexpectedly and making Erwin snatch his pale forearm.

The wind from the chill night ruffled the forgotten paperwork on Erwin's desk, Levi's eerily hollow chuckle overlaying the white noise. Empty steel-gray finally looked into Erwin's ocean blues, heavy-lidded and worn thin.

"Don't you know I'm stupid? The hell does 'heedless' mean, blondie?" Levi wore a painful grin.

Erwin furrowed his brow in worry, loosening his grip but not letting go. "Careless," he said gently, thumbing fondly at Levi's flushed skin. "It means. . . Careless."

Levi's bottom lip trembled, and Erwin swore he saw his small body twitch with a hiccup. "Maybe that's what I want, Commander- to end up dead," Levi breathed, sending a cold surge through Erwin.

"Hey, don't say that," Erwin said quickly in a hushed tone. His free hand gently cupped Levi's shoulder.

"Why not?" Levi's voice was so small. It scared Erwin. "Every time I shut my eyes at night, all I see is their faces, hear them call my name." Erwin could feel Levi trembling.

"I know, Levi. By the walls, I know how it feels to begin to go numb. How it is to lose everything close to you, and still need to press onwards," Erwin murmured.

"Oh, sure. You see the face of every comrade that you've sent to death in your dreams. I'm sure you remember each and every soldier." The sarcastic bite in Levi's tone made Erwin unhand the man's arm.

"Excuse me. . ?" Erwin breathed, stupidly hoping he had misheard Levi.

"You don't know how it feels to be looked at like a human shit stain for simply trying to survive! You're just Mr. Fucking Perfect, right?" Levi's fruitless attempt to push Erwin away by his chest only agitated the blonde.

"Another pompous asshole that wouldn't hesitate to judge me from getting on all fours back then just to be able to eat twice a week!" Levi's (false) accusations were making Erwin increasingly angry.

"You're no different than everyone in the Capital-"

"You'd better watch your mouth, Ackerman."

Levi sucked in a short breath so quickly, it made his throat dry up; though, that might've been caused by the snarl of his surname. He didn't get another chance to speak as Erwin loomed over his frame.

"Who gave you an escape route when you had nowhere else to turn? Was it the Capital? Who was it that believed in you when everyone else wanted you to hang? The Capital, perhaps? Apologies, my memory is hazy."

Levi had seen Erwin agitated, seen him berate cadets and superiors alike with no backlash. But the man was always so poised and assured. Sure, the unsettlingly strong fire behind his crystal eyes was never smothered, but it was not once openly expressed.

Until now.

It had Levi- the nephew of Kenny the Ripper, the Captain of the 104th Cadet Corp, Humanity's Strongest Soldier- intimidated enough to shrink in on himself.

"I don't mean to scare you, Levi. I truly don't. But when you have the audacity to lump me into the crowd of discriminatory pedophiles and rapists? After everything I have done for you?" Erwin scoffed, ending his rant.

"I-I... I'm-"

"I don't want you to apologize. It's difficult to believe that you would. It's just not like you," Erwin swallowed thickly as Levi sniffled.

"Levi, I-" Erwin cut himself off, clenching his jaw.

Want you. Need you.

I think I'm in love with you. What a dream it would be to say. But he shouldn't. And he won't.

"You should sober up here while I get work done. How does that sound?" Erwin felt the urge to vomit after those words burned off his tongue.

"Thank you," Levi hardly whispered. "Thank you, Erwin."

Closing his eyes tightly, Erwin nodded, leading Levi to the couch the was sitting against the sidewall.

"Of course, Levi. I would do anything for you."

#erwin smith #snk erwin #snk levi #levi ackerman #aot erwin #levi attack on titan #levi aot #eruri #erwin x levi #levi x erwin #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #angst #aot angst #pain lmao #big sad #so many tags #tw ptsd #tw drinking #tw #tw sucidal thoughts #tw depressing stuff #tw alcohol

[jalebi-likes]

Rewatching Miley Jab Hum Tum - Episode 2

#2 College Rivals & Dia’s Plan for Her Cousins

Since I’m riding high on nostalgia, my heart just melts into a puddle to see Samrat and Mayank meet as rivals. There’s so much of NOT knowing! These two guys will form a friendship that’s thicker than blood in the future! 

I like how the show shows both academics and sports are equally important and one does not triumph over the other. And the whole ‘Main Ho Naa’ thing going on with Miss. Aha and her epic sarees, wind blowing and everyone falling flat for her - even the Principal! 

I love how the show is well aware of its references and makes that blatant! 

Nupur and Gunjan’s reactions show their differences so beautiful. While Nupur is excited to go to the city of dreams, Gunjan asks a very practical questions - will their cousins like them (because of who they are). Gunjan already anticipates a slight friction given their different lifestyles and what’s beautiful is that Nupur’s fallen smiles lets us know that Nupur fears the same - except she has a brighter outlook on life.

Nupur’s excitement in being in the bustling city compared to Gunjan’s hesitation and discomfort with crowd and traffic are such refreshing emotions. I like the way Gunjan words her feelings - she doesn’t criticize Mumbai for being so, she just doesn’t like the city yet - it’s crowded, noisy and almost claustrophobic. An emotion I relate to despite loving the city to bits! 

And the show remembers to keep the whole ragging and planning right. We know Dia and her gang aren’t outright devils. They’re a bit immature and resistant to the new change that Gunjan and Nupur represent - especially considering they’re their cousins. 

Samrat’s dialogues like “Chill Dia, after all they’re simply your cousins!” let us know that no one has made it a mission to trouble the cousins as much as Dia has. 

Can I say I love the costumes? They’re real. Dia is the only one who dresses up the way she does, Gunjan-Nupur also are the only ones who dress up the way they do. Everyone else is pretty normal! Unlike current shows like *ugh* Punch Beat *ugh* where people are off a branded store to be ‘normal’ - we have regular kids here except those who have a reason to dress differently. 

And the party! 

Dia’s welcome party to annoy and intimidate her cousins are done with a touch of sensitivity and humor. 

Benji’s quips of “Main Hoon Na se main tha na ho gaya!” to Samrat always being slightly concerned about whether or not he’s crossing a line with the cousins - especially Gunjan is well done. 

The moment where Gunjan pushes a guy away and Samrat walks in, observing her fear, he pauses and looks at her. And Gunjan immediately notices someone looking at her. 

I think Gunjan thought he was upset that she pushed his friend away, and I think Samrat wasn’t too sure of his plan to prank Gunjan further. 

Also, I like to believe there’s a tiny drop of attraction between the two. Gunjan is stunning and almost so fragile and innocent in this one moment. 

This is very telling about Samrat as a guy - in this episode we learn he’s a bit reluctant to go on this whole mission to prank someone - and much later we learn that Mr. Popular actually acts a lot due to peer pressure and how everyone expects him to be Mr ‘Cool’ 

And yes, as a hopeless romantic I like to believe that something passed between Samrat and Gunjan. Not a ‘I like you or love at first sight’ but something like... I don’t have the words for it? It’s very slight and quickly forgotten. 

And in contrast Mayank is as solid as a mountain. He is righteous but non interfering, intelligent and sarcastic, keeps to himself and has his own clique away from the ‘popular’ group.

Eee, I’m excited for episode 3!

#mjht #miley jab hum tum #mjht rewatch #episode 2 #mayank #samrat #gunjan #nupur #dia #uday #benji #episode reaction #itv #Indian Television

[holycow99]

石田お寿司 29/7/21 stream translation Part 1

T/n: This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk. I’ve changed the format as this format seems better. I’ll be writing in this format from now on.

*Someone asked him about his throat.

I: My throat? It’s normal. (t/n: He had a sore throat a few weeks ago)

I: I was asleep when chp 5 was released. It was already dark when I woke up.

*People in the comment praised chp 5.

I: Thank you, thank you. I’m glad you liked it.

C: I’m waiting for the translation!

I: It coming soon. (t/n: He’s speaking in eng.) It sounds like a wrong eng.

C: Are you right handed?

I: Yes, I am.

I: For chapter 6, I’ll probably finish drawing it if I work until the day after tomorrow, even though I haven’t made any progress at all. After that, I’ll add in the typesetting and then it’ll probably finished around 2nd or 3rd August. I’d be bad if I couldn’t get it done after I’ve said this.

C: Fumi (Jack Jeanne’s character) plays erhu? (t/n: OP’s referring to JJ OST album’s illustration.)

I: Yeah. Kosemura Akira (composer for Jack Jeanne) wanted to use erhu when composing Fumi’s theme song. So, he asked a famous person to play it. It’s really rare to have erhu in songs. Not many people in Japan play it. Why did he choose erhu? Then, when imagining what kind of instruments suit each character, for Kai, he has that deep, bass feeling. So, his instrument is double bass. Piano is Kisa. Suzu is, of course, all about hitting the beat. Drum is an important instrument in rhythm creation. For yonaga, it’s a wind instrument. I want him to play a pipe. You won’t understand even if I talk about it. Should I leave the picture here? Wait a min, let me show you.

*Someone commented about Tokyo revengers’ illustration.

I: Oh yes, I did an illustration of Tokyo Revengers’ Mikey. I want to draw Draken as well.

*He showed the illustration of JJ’s characters with instruments.

I: I drew Shirota playing guitar. For some reason, I imagined he could play guitar. And then, instruments like viola (referring to Neji). Otori plays maracas.

I: That’s how it is. And then, we have the Sui exhibition in Nagoya. I’ve been writing report on the event. Isn’t it amazing? Probably not. It’s for myself after all. Rather than for myself, I’d get mixed up if the exhibition is held in a lot of places. 

*He started Playing Ghosts n’ Goblins.

C: I really want to play Ghosts n’ Goblins, but it seems so stressful.

I: It’s not stressful, rather you’d feel angry.

*Giant monsters appeared.

I: Just now on discord, Goubaru texted me saying he wanted to call me, but I rejected. He’s expressing his anger right now. (t/n: He referred the monsters stomping the ground as angry Goubaru.)

C: Sensei, there’s no love counselling session today?

I: It seems like some of you were happy when I gave love advice. There’s someone who became a couple with her childhood friend. She said she’s gonna talk to her bf once again. What was the problem again? Something like she had trouble chatting with her bf through mail. I advised her not to then. Hahaha.

C: Do you remember people who always watch your livestream?

I: Not at all. I do remember you *****-san. (t/n: He mentioned OP’s name)

I: I tried listening to my own stream while working. When I listened to it, I realised I have a tendency to pick comments from specific people. There’re people who know to comment at the right timing, like Y****. (t/n: He mentioned the fan he always chats with) It seems like I pick them based on the colour (?), name length, and comments that are easy to pick. Weirdly enough, I always end up reading the comments from the same people.

*He’s fighting another angry and aggressive Goubaru.

C: Is Goubaru usually like this?

I: I wonder… I think so. But, he often wore this kind of down jacket, like for a year. A purple one. Even though the fabric wasn’t that thick, wearing a down jacket must be hot, right? He didn’t take it off when he’s in the workplace. He even wore it during summer. I asked him why, and he said it’s because he wanted to hide his body line. Sounds like a problem an attractive woman would’ve. I do kinda understand that. It’s probably the same reason as women who wears loose clothing as to not have their chest shown too much. He always wore purple down jackets due to reasons like that.

C: My dad also always wears down jackets in every season to hide his body line.

I: I’d tell those kind of people to lose weight.

C: Wearing down jacket and sweating is probably their way of losing weight.

I: No, but even if you sweat, you won’t lose weight. Those who’re dieting probably know this already, but sweating only reduce the water percentage in your body. Just because you sweat a lot doesn’t mean you’d lose weight. In the end, it all depends on the amount of fat you lose and the amount of muscle mass you gain.

I: With sauna, I don’t think you can lose weight. If you drink water, you gain back the amount of water you lost. However, if you don’t drink water for 2 days, you’d probably lose 2-3kg. Human bodies are made up of 70% of water after all.

C: Sauna only makes you feel refreshing.

I: Sauna makes you feel good. I think that, in itself, is nice too. It’s just that only fat people think that they can lose weight wearing down jacket. 

(t/n: I might’ve translated it a bit harsh, but I don’t think he meant it in a bad way. Please don’t be offended.)

C: Did you tell that to him?

I: I told him a lot of things. Something like “you’re gonna die” or “you’re gonna have your limbs amputated”. I have a younger friend who’s slightly diabetic, I think. He had always been fat, though he sometimes went on diet. His family knew a lot of people in the medical field, so they kept telling him to go to hospital. When he did the examination, he was told that he had a chance of getting diabetes. But Goubaru is a slob, so he wouldn’t visit hospital by his own volition, though I’m not qualified to say that since I also don’t really visit hospitals. He might be in a worse condition since he wouldn’t get checked up, so I think it’s best for him to lose weight.

I: Why being fat is not good for your health is because when the fat dissolves in your blood, the blood vessels will get clogged. That’s why I think it’s not good.

C: How much is your body fat percentage (BFP)?

I: How much is it…I’m not aiming to be ridiculously skinny or whatever. The average would be around 16-17%? It’d be great if I can get there. When I was on a rigorous diet, my BFP was as low as 13%. Some people are able to get to 10%. I wonder how they do that?

I: I’ve heard from someone about Goubaru’s body fat percentage. I’ve been talking about him, but his BFP is scary. It seems like he has 45% of fat in his body. He is nothing but a lump of fats already. The mother in Atashinchi (a classic manga) is also the same. Do you guys know Atashinchi? The mother is kinda fat. She’s also has around 45% BFP I think.

C: How much does Goubaru weigh?

I: I think he already surpassed 100kg, but I don’t know about now.

C: To be able to surpass 100kg is a talent.

I: Right. I’ve heard about that in Bananaman’s (Japanese comedy duo) radio or something. Mr. Himura (a member of Bananaman) was around 90kg at that time, though I don’t know his weight now. It’s probably around 10 years ago. He said he’s weighed more than 100kg, and that weighing 105 kg is a talent. 100kg was like the threshold for your body and you surpassed that limit.

C: There’s someone like Goubaru in my class.

I: But you don’t know him. Do you mean him having the same weight?

C: My classmate who weighs over 100kg broke the school chair just by sitting on it.

I: The weight is one thing, but even though chairs could withstand heavy amount of load, they’re not durable. Goubaru’s chair made a few scary noises whenever he sat down. It sounded similar to the sound effect of the door being opened in Inagawa Junji’s (an actor & ghost storyteller) ghost stories. I thought Mr. Junji was there.

Part 2

#ishida sui #tokyou ghoul #chojin x #choujin x #jack jeanne #ishida sushi channel

[deathvsthemaiden]

ok wait after u sent me that ask i have to know ur top books!!! dw if u don't feel like it but i would love to hear them 🌷

This is so sweet and considerate! Thank you Eva, you gave me 5 so I’ll try to keep it to that # as well 💖🐰 off the top of my head:

🌷 The Stormlight Archive series, especially the second book, Words of Radiance. Stormlight is like 4 books + 2 novellas right now, and is projected to be 10 books and ???novellas eventually. And on top of that each main book is 1000+ pages and while you can read Stormlight on its own, most of the other books by the author, Brandon Sanderson, are part of this larger fictional universe called the cosmere. Each series takes place on a different planet, and if you are invested in the whole cosmere, there’s Easter egg references to other series in other series. So like! While I rec these books often, most people understandably don’t take me up on it wgshshh 🤭 Sanderson’s non-Stormlight books are all MUCH shorter but also much more flawed imo. Like I wouldn’t count him among my favorite authors were it not for Stormlight. anyway I’m a die hard fantasy fan so the length didn’t deter me, and I picked these up because a friend told me the world building in these books was genuinely unique instead of the typical very lazy maps composed of like. Fantasy Russia and its hostile mysterious neighbors Fantasy General East Asia and Fantasy Africa lol. and she was right! The world building is exquisite and refreshing and almost every character is canonically of color. They live in a society with an eye color based caste system and it’s.., so hard to sum up this massive series with four main characters and a ridiculous(ly fun) amount of plot lines, so I’ll cut this short and say 1) the first book, The Way of Kings, is highly expository but the ending is so so worth it, and if you enjoy the ending you’ll find merit in continuing with the series 2) Words of Radiance is my favorite book so far partially because I haven’t read the newest, Rhythm of War, yet, and also because it’s the book with the most scenes that solidified Kaladin Stormblessed (one of the main characters) as one of my favorites of all time. Another one of the best things about this series is how Brandon Sanderson portrays mental health in very natural ways, and it makes Kaladin’s growth so incredibly soothing to follow (I MEAN. He has low points that sometimes hit too close to home, but it makes you root for him harder) he really is just. Truly my definition of a hero, if we wanna get cheesy about it, and I had to pick one solid example. I love him so much this isn’t even the tip of the iceberg as to why 😭!

🌷Jane Eyre. Silly frivolous teenaged girl that I am this book swept me off my feet when I first read it and I condone every problematic aspect of it❤️ (I DONT ofc but like! I love drama and being played like a fiddle by narratives and the book delivered on both fronts! And it couldn’t have without its unsavory plot twist soooo 😙💖) (the hate this book and especially one specific character gets is funny to me just because like. Hate for the former (imo) usually stems from people taking the book too seriously while simultaneously missing the point (JE and du Maurier’s Rebecca (highly influenced by the former) are oft considered loose Bluebeard retellings for a reasonnnn!) and hate for the latter is usually just like. Warranted and then taken over the top like... he’s just a fake funny little man you guys :( and the book would’ve been boring if he wasn’t so twisted and out of touch and passionate ): not to mention I do personally in a mean ish way think it’s funny how for some people this character is one of the worst examples of men they can imagine. Like good for Them! I don’t want them to have lower standards for horribleness in people But also omg 🤭 it just reminds me of how... irony of all ironies, I’m semi frequently told I’m too harsh on real life men and then when I love twisted ones in books (for being funny and entertaining and good solid characters) I like. get the most interesting side eyes (whether figurative or literal) bwjswnhshe anyway I have nothing against Austen, I definitely enjoy her, but from what I’ve read so far, I prefer the Brontës a lot more... I need adventure! Show me horror show me rot etc etc❤️ also I’m. A stupid sucker so the fact that the book was Charlotte Brontë’s attempt to write a plain looking lady protagonist and to make her praiseworthy and virtuous and worthy of spellbinding romance makes me... 💗💓💕

🌷Keturah and Lord Death — Martine Leavitt. I haven’t seen it officially stated anywhere but to me it’s p clear this book is a retelling of/highly inspired by Godfather Death (the Grimm tale) Very simple, predictable but effective plot, and the characters are just. So much fun. From my url you can probably tell I love stories in which women (or anyone but you know. Death and the Maiden is its own trope for a reason) outsmart/face off against death. If they also k*ss, when done right, I think that’s swell as well.

🌷A Thousand Splendid Suns — Khalid Hosseini. By far the heaviest book I will mention in this ask, and I don’t rec it willy nilly for that and a few other reasons. It’s a forever fave to me because I read it at the exact right time in my life, where I was like... noticing a ton of things irl and things at home were tumultuous, and when I saw very similar things unfold in this book while I was being silenced and made to feel crazy by the adults around me, it meant so much to me to see reality as I was experiencing it in real time reflected back at me via this novel. The context of the story is wildly different from my own life and the stakes the characters face are far higher, and it is if I remember right mostly a novel about the horrors of war, which isn’t something I pretend to have any firsthand experience with, but! It was legitimately cathartic to read when I read it, and it especially meant a lot to me at the time that the author was a grown man. Not to mention how my mother is not and never has been a reader, and somehow the one and only book I ever managed to get her to read was this. Hilariously she got mad at me for only (“only”) reading depressing things (there’s... a grain of truth to that but she doesn’t need to know! 🤫) but also... she was hooked I could tell! (I got all tmi explaining this one gag I’m so sorry)

🌷A Slight Trick of the Mind — Mitch Cullin. Retirement-era Holmes! Holmes as an old man! A sad old man who keeps bees!! It’s the novel the movie Mr. Holmes was based off of (haven’t seen it yet) and I was not expecting it to get me all sentimental like it did 🤨😪 but anyway it’s like. A prolonged character study and explores some of the most interesting (to me, anyway) parts of Holmes that are only lightly touched upon in canon, like his occasionally huge follies when navigating his few close relationships and how he copes with them afterwards, his fatigue at the random injustice of the world, how he’s often mistaken both by characters that surround him and people irl as a man without feelings, etc etc. like there’s no Dr. Watson or Mrs. Hudson in this book, and the people he interacts with are almost entirely original characters, but as I listened to the audiobook it barely occurred to me to miss Watson and Hudson (I know! 😦) and the author’s original characters interacted with Holmes so believably that I sometimes forgot they weren’t ever Doyle’s. Def recommend to any flexible Holmes fan that’s not a total stickler for canon (though you don’t actually have to know much about Holmes to read this book and enjoy it! 🐝)

🌷Sleepless — Sarah Vaughn + Leila del Luca. I began with the longest book, so let me end with the shortest. It’s a 2 volume long graphic novel series and that it’s so short is the only long standing, legitimate complaint I have of it! Gorgeous art, really effectively written romance, a dark skinned girl who gets to be the proactive, lively protagonist and stunning, pined after love interest at the same time, a cast of characters that is majority of color, the perfect %-age of drama and angst etc etc. if you can find it via your library or online or smth, you can knock it out in one sitting and leave the experience eternally altered in the funnest way 👁👄👁

Honorable mentions: The Botany of Desire — Michael Pollan, Troubling Love — Elena Ferrante, The Girl from the Garden — Parnaz Foroutan

#asks #book recs #wasn’t sure if you’d read Jane Eyre before so I was vague abt it qgzhshshs #long post

[sweetchup]

Cute Little Princess

Anonymous said: Anything with phinks please 🥺 I love this big dumb gym rat sm

Type: Phinks x Princess Reader

Au?: None (Is in the same timeline as N.E.R.D.S)

Word Count: 3,000

Warnings: Angst

Author Note: Oof you give me my boi Phinks and say anything?! Get ready my friend cause I know the perfect thing 😤��👏. Also I used a small reference to my one of my favorite childhood shows if anyone can catch it. It’s very small though.

So today’s a Tuesday, an average taco Tuesday for mister Phinks Magcub. Well that’s what he would like to say right now.

“So Mr Magcub, you’re a wealthy businessman from the Mimbo republic?” A women says, laughing before taking a sip from from her expensive wine.

“W-why yes I am ma’am.”

Why couldn’t the boss have picked Nobunaga or even Machi for this mission? Phinks was currently stuck in the Royal Castle of the Fushi Empire. Chrollo had wanted someone to get close to the royal family in order to collect information on where their famous Dragon Eye collection was located. And of course, Shalnark, being the ass he is who was originally chosen, had to drop out at the last minute. So, Phinks had to cover for him.

Phinks is snapped out of his thoughts as the Emperor puts down his wine glass. He wipes his stubbly chin with a cloth before looking at Phinks.

“So, Mr Magcub, you said you are interested in marrying one of my daughters, if I’m correct? Which one catches your eye?” The Emperor questions, moving his hand to point at his 3 daughters. The golden robe the emperor was wearing flows in the wind from an open window as he does so.

Phinks turns to look at the girls in front of them. They were all incredibly beautiful but one had caught his eye since he first stepped into the room. It was the youngest daughter of the Fushi Emperor, (Y/n) Fushi. No one could lie that the lady was absolutely gorgeous, with locks that look like pure silk and bright diamond like eyes. She also wore a very nice light jade green and white Hanfu that made her look like a little princess. But, as much as Phinks want to choose her, he knew that the best choice for the mission would be the eldest daughter, Himiko.

“I actually like your eldest daughter, Himiko. Her long blond locks against her pink kimono really catch my eye.” Phinks says, smiling at the princess. Himiko and the middle sister giggle like crazy and whisper to each other. He’s now actually thankful that one of the old men back at Meteor City taught him proper etiquette and how to be a gentleman. Cause if he didn’t, he probably would be hanged by now.

The king chuckles at his daughter’s antics. “Well Mr. Magcub, I’m sure my daughter would love to be your bride.”

Phinks smirks to himself. What a sucker. “Please, no need for formalities, call me Phinks.”

————💥✊🏻💥————

“So, did you finally get it?” Phinks says as he leans against the windowsill. Watching the greens of the prestigious castle garden move under the moonlight gleam.

“Yeah we got it, it was pretty easy too. The Dragon Eye collection is in fact already back at the base. Also the Boss wants you back by sometime tomorrow or the day after that. So you’ll probably want to get a move on.” Nobunaga's voice says from the phone.

“Yeah, yeah. I know, I’ll be there.”

Phinks hangs up the phone and lets out a sigh. Finally, after 2 weeks stuck here, his life will go back to normal. He could finally get out of this uncomfortable green tang suit he’s been wearing. Huh? It’s you again. Phinks looks out at the window as you begin to climb the garden wall. While he’s been here, Phinks has noticed that it’s a nightly thing you do; you climb the wall, leave for hours on end and come back tired. What are you? One of the twelve dancing princesses?

He truly wonders what you go off and do. Phinks suddenly smirks to himself. Well, it is his last night here so it wouldn’t hurt to follow. Who knows maybe you're some secret stripper or lady of the night? He whistles to himself at the thought. Man that would be awesome if that is the case. He surely hopes so.

And, in a flash, Phinks is out of his bedroom, with his small bag of stuff slinged over his shoulder. After quietly jumping through the trees, he is following you down the winding streets of the capital city. It was pretty easy too since you're not wearing a cloak, after all there’s really no need for it in the first place since no one knows what the princesses look like.

You, the youngest princess of Emperor HuinYa Fushi, was slipping past people in the crowd, wearing an old Hanfu from one of the servants. Your heart is pounding as you look past the many street lanterns and open shops for the night. No matter how many times you sneak out, it nevers gets old. Afterall, you believed this sight was much more beautiful than being back at the castle. Trapped like a bird in a cage. You, honestly, just wanted to explore the world, seeing everything it has to offer. The good and the bad.

“Miss! How about a nice refreshing Bing Tanghulu? It’s only two for 25 quien.” The salesman shouts, pointing a candied strawberry skewer right at you. The man’s silliness causes you to break out in a giggle and you reach into your pocket to grab some money. Once you have the 3 silver coins needed to buy them you go to give it to the salesman.

“Here—“ “Here. She’ll take two strawberry ones and I’ll take a grape one.” You freeze as you are cut off by a man’s deep voice and an arm slinging around your shoulder. You look up as the mystery man who holds out two of the sticks to you and gasp in shock. “Phinks?!?”

“Hiyah sweetheart.” Phinks says and smirks, taking a bite out of a candied grape. You shakily grab the two sticks from him as he leads you away. How did he know you were here? Did he follow you? You look around worriedly. Wait, is your whole family at the market tonight?

“What are you doing here?!” You whisper-shout. You were probably ghostly pale from worry, though that is probably hard to see due to how dark it is out. But still, you don’t want your father to find out you're sneaking out every night. He won’t ever leave you on your own again, if he found out.

“I should be asking you the same thing.”

“W-well…” You just sigh in defeat causing Phinks to chuckle. Oh god what a mess you got into. You better hope your father and sisters aren’t actually here. You're suddenly startled as Phinks ruffle your hair.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, It’s just me. I just wanted to see where you run off to every night. Mind showing me what you do?” You bite your lip as Phinks says that. It would be fun for someone to join you for once. But… could you trust him? He might be your sister’s fiancé but they have been only engaged for 2 weeks. He’s also acting differently right now than what he is usually like. “Come on. Lead the way?”

You look up at Phinks as he pats you on the back. You guess, it wouldn’t hurt for some company for one night. Right? You giggle and grab him by the arm, dragging him down the street. “Ok! Come on then. It’ll be fun.”

Phinks smirks as he runs with you. You even looked gorgeous running through the crowds under the blurred red and yellow lanterns. He kind of wondered what it would be like running with you hand n’ hand after some sort of robbery or heist. That would be fun but oh well, at least you’re showing him what you do for fun.

————💥✊🏻💥————

This is not what Phinks expected when you said this is what you do for fun.

“Kick his ass, girl!!”

“Come on!! I bet a lot of money on that guy.”

“Hell yeah!”

There he was standing on the sidelines in an underground small stadium, watching a princess he found cute as fuck in an illegal underground fighting match. Who knew you were an enhancer as well. Phinks is knocked out of his confusion as a rumble shakes through the arena. You had just roundhouse kicked the guy out of the rink and right through a stone wall.

“And that's match! (Y/n) wins by K.O!!” The referee announces, holding up your arm. The crowd breaks out into cheers and boos. Phinks grumbles, some of the people who bet on that guy were just sore losers.

“Phinks!” Phinks looks up to see you running and leaning on the railing of the fighting floor. Damn. Phinks felt like he was melting into the floor as you came up to him. You honestly looked like his dream girl; You looked so cute with diamond shining eyes, your fragile doll-like features and your silky hair pulled out of your face. But, with you covered in sweat, bruised up a little and covered in the blood from the other guy, you also looked so hot and now ten times better than he first met you in his opinion. “W-what did you think?”

Phinks chuckles as you look nervous, waiting for his opinion. “That was awesome. Good job! I didn’t even know you knew nen.”

“Ah-h yeah. I got initiated into it after some of the older members gave me a heads up for a championship match I was supposed to take part in. I was honestly so thankful for them.” You say, remember back to about 2 years when this had all started. Wow…it had really been that long ago. Oh, wait a minute! “Phinks!”

Phinks hums in response and raises an eyebrow. You blush in embarrassment and look down, fumble with the rope like railing. You can’t believe you're about to ask this, “D-Do you wanna do a match?”

Phinks is shocked for a minute before smirking and jumping up over the rope. You light up like a kid on Christmas as soon as you see him step into the ring. “Sure sweetheart. But, I ain’t going easy on you.”

“O-ok! Hey Ref, I have a challenger!”

Phinks smiles as he watches you run off to the ref to explain the match and your challenger. Honestly, he’s positive at this point that you're his dream girl. He suddenly frowns as he realizes something.

He has to leave tonight…. crap.

“Phinks!!” Phinks looks up as you stand on the other side of the ring. “Ready?”

Phinks smiles and nods. The match bell rings signaling the fight has begun. He’ll deal with that problem once it comes. But right now, it’s his time to have fun.

————💥✊🏻💥————

“Awww man!! I can’t believe you beat me~ I for sure thought I was going to win.” You whine as you and Phinks make your way through the now dark and practically empty streets. All the lanterns were out so the only light provided was from the big full moon dropping into the horizon, though you didn’t mind since it was such a clear night out. A perfect night to watch the stars. Well, it technically would have been but you were so distracted by the fun you were having that you didn’t realize how late it is. The sun will break over the horizon any second now and you better get back to the castle.

Though that was the least of your concerns, Phinks was acting weird. He hadn’t answered you or smiled at all since you two started walking back to the castle. The only thing he did other than walk behind you and act like a puss is he kept on weirdly checking his phone every couple of seconds. Like he was waiting for something. Did something happen while you weren’t looking?

You hear a small grumble from him as he checks his phone again. That was it. You’ve had enough of his antics. You stopped dead in your tracks and turned around to face him. “Phinks! What’s the matter with you?”

Phinks blinks a couple of times before pushing past you, grumbling something under his breath. That ass! You weren’t having any of that so you grabbed onto his arm and pulled him down onto the ground. Phinks glares at you as he lands on his ass, “What the hell was that for?!”

“That’s for not listening to me! Now, what is wrong with you? I thought we had fun tonight.”

Phinks tches and mumbles, “Well it’s not like it’s ever going to happen again.”

“W-well why not?!”

“It’s just not alright!” He shouts, brushing himself off as he stands up from the dirty ground. You glare at the man in front of you, a golden hue surrounding him since the sun has just begun to rise over the horizon.

You were just so confused as he just stalks by you again. What did he mean by you two wouldn’t do this again? Of course you two could. He’s going to be around the castle for practically 3 months before he gets married to your sister. “Of course we can do this again!! We could do this every once in a while or even every night. Your marrying my sister in 3 month—“

“I’M NOT MARRYING HER!” Phinks shouts angrily, stopping in his tracks; His back facing you. You froze in place.

“W-why not… I don’t understand…”

Phinks chuckles darkly at that and he reaches to the front of his shirt, unbuttoning the collared shirt. “Of course you don’t…well I’m going to spell it out for you, sweetheart.”

With a flick of his wrist, Phinks pulls down the top half of his green tang suit down. You gasp a little as you see it. In the golden light of the sun, you see a big spider tattoo with the number 5 on it. He is…

Your throat and lips suddenly felt very dry as you attempted to speak. “Y-you’re part of the phantom troupe... So, you were after…”

“Yeah. I was after the Dragon Eye Collection this whole time. And now that we have it, I’m leaving and never coming back.”

You stood there frozen as you watched him finally turn around and walk past you. You stare at the ground unable to look at his face as he places a warm hand on your head.

“I was going to walk you back but I doubt that’s needed. So long, (y/n).”

And like that Phinks is gone. Yet you could still feel the strange warmth that his hand provided on the top of your head. You laugh for a second before hot bubbling tears cascade down your face. How strange this is. How strange it is that a man you’ve only known for two weeks has made you this happy in one night. More happy than you’ve ever been.

You curl down into your knees as you sob. It hurts. Your heart really hurts. You’ve never felt so lonely and empty before.

————💥✊🏻💥————

Phinks walks through the bamboo shoot forest outside of the capital city. He’s lost in his thoughts when suddenly his phone finally dings. He looks at it for a second before he finally chuckles.

“Too late for that now, boss.” He mumbles to himself, looking at the text written out.

Boss: Well based on what you told me, since she can take care of herself she is fine to stay, but she also can’t interfere with troupe activities. Bring her at the meeting tomorrow so the members can meet her. I’m honestly curious as to why you picked her.

It was honestly way too late. Maybe if he hadn’t told you right then and walked you back to the castle then, maybe you two would be together right now? No, it would be inevitable at that point. He would have to leave eventually and he highly doubts you would go with him. You're a princess after all and he’s just some pathetic street rat.

Phinks sighs and brushes his fingers through his hair. Man, you really drive him crazy.

“Phinks!!”

Phinks blinks as he hears a faint voice yelling in the distance.

“Phinks!”

There it is again. Wait, he recognizes that voice.

“(Y/n)!” Phinks run off in your direction as he sees you also alone in the bamboo woods with a backpack on your back. You smile, with your tears streak cheeks stretching, as you also run over to him. Clutching onto him like your life depended on it. Phinks finally smiled for the first time that morning as he heard you mumble 5 magical words into his jacket.

“Don’t leave me behind, idiot.”

Maybe, just maybe, hope wasn’t all lost for that spider.

Bonus:

“Crap another group of guards. This is the 10th search group out to look for you today.” Phinks mutters angrily, as you two hide from them in a bush. You sigh, kind of sad that you were making Phinks go through all this trouble for you.

“I’m sorry Phinks. Maybe I really should have stay—“

“Don’t you dare say that, sweetheart. Now that you're with me you aren’t ever going back.” You blink a couple of times before giggling and holding on to him tight.

“Thank you Phinks…”

.

.

.

“Hey Paul. Did you hear a giggle over there just now?”

You and Phinks freeze. Crap!

#hxh #hunter x hunter #phantom troupe #phinks magcub #phinks #phinks x reader #hxh scenarios

[ellewritessometimes]

It’s a Gift

Summary:  Cas and Dean have become very close. Dean develops a crush and is afraid to say anything. He continues to fall harder as the days go on. As the Valentine's Day party approaches, Dean wonders if he'll share the secret he's been harboring.

Ships: Dean/Cas, Crobby

Word Count:  3,552

TW: Mentions of violence and Homophobia, Swearing

Notes:  This is a work from an abandoned Valentine's Day group writing project. I decided to post it still because I worked hard on it and I wanted the original intended recipient to get their fic as planned. I want to thank Luc for allowing me to reach out to them and @kermit-drinking-tea-dot-jpg for betaing this fic.

Link to read on AO3

The smell of greasy tater tots and dry nuggets wafted through the cafeteria as I walked in and took my seat at the table. The rest of the team sat down as well.

"Does anyone have a date for Valentine's party tomorrow?" Garth asked.

"I'm sure Sam will be my date," Gabe smirked. The guy was kinda obsessed with my brother.

Garth rolled his eyes and continued to take a bite of his chicken patty. I turned the page of my notebook, trying to decode my notes from last week. 

"Shit," I mumbled under my breath.

"What?" Gabe asked with a mouth full of french fries.

"I can't read my notes, and the test is next period," I said in frustration. I had scrawled them down distractedly during the class.

"Would you like to borrow mine?" Cas asked. 

Of course, I would like to borrow Cas's notes. He was a great student, always crazy organized.

Cas slid a spiral-bound notebook with perfect notes written in blue gel pen. The lettering looked like a font. I could never be like this. I could never sit still for that long. Oh, to be like Cas; Quarterback, Captain of the Football team, debate mentor, NHS, he really had it all. I was just a linebacker struggling to remember physics. God, Dad, is gonna kill me.

"Thanks, man," There was relief in my voice. Maybe I'd pass. A.P. Physics is not the move when you're a dumbass.

Cas smiled and picked up his book, On the Road. I've never seen him eat during school. He's always reading, helping us with homework, or keeping Gabe and Garth out of trouble. 

The bell rang, so I handed Cas his notebook back. He winked, and I felt my heart pound. I'm sure he was just saying ‘you're welcome’.

* * *

Mr. Crowley handed out the test, and I inhaled deeply. I can't do this. I can't do this. 

Cas looked toward me and mouthed, "Are you ok?" 

I shook my head. The little shit winked again and raised his hand.

"Mr. Crowley, I think Dean is going to be ill," Cas fibbed, "I should take him to the nurse just to be sure."

"We wouldn't want that. Take him to the nurse," Mr. Crowley gave him the ok.

Cas and I walked out of the classroom and into the hallway. Cas gestured to me to follow him. He led me into an empty classroom and shut the door.

 He set his notebook and pencil down on a desk and bluntly said, "Sit."

I did as I was told. I watched him write a kinematic equation on a fresh sheet.

"What do you know?" Cas asked.

"Nothing."

"I don't believe that."

"I'm a dumbass," I shrugged.

He tilted his head, and I noticed a change in his eyes. 

"You don't believe you deserved to be helped," He stated and quickly changed the subject in an attempt to take what he said back. "Let's start easy."

I leaned my head over to see the problem he wrote. A hair fell on my face, and Cas pushed it away. I jumped. Cas jumped as well, startled by my reaction. His disposition changed.

"I'm sorry, I…" His voice trailed off.

"It's fine, Cas." I made an attempt to reassure him.

We moved along with the problem like it never happened. But it did happen. I would feel the touch on my forehead the rest of the day. The way his hand felt, soft and warm against my rough skin. 

We must have done at least 20 problems until I finally felt comfortable doing it independently. The bell rang, and I thanked Cas. He really didn't need to do that. I wasn't shocked that he did though, he always tried to help the guys somehow. The dude's a friggin angel.

* * *

I was distracted all of the football practice.  I was preoccupied thinking about Cas.

"Winchester, get your head in the game!" Coach Bobby yelled out.

I had known Bobby my whole life. He'd been more like a dad than my own blood. He was always there when Dad was deployed, on a hunting trip, or just drunk, unable to take care of Sam and me. Dad was never the most stable person. 

I nodded to Bobby and tried to focus. I'd been meaning to talk to the school counselor about getting me to see a therapist or something to get diagnosed. Bobby and I suspected I had ADHD but we wouldn't know for sure. Unfortunately, I knew that Dad didn't believe in therapy. And anyway, the doctor can't fix it if I'm distracted by Cas. God, the dude can move. His passes are perfect, he makes almost every goal, and his touchdowns are so impressive. God, I sound like I have a crush.

Practice finished, and we all headed to the locker room. Bobby gave a speech.

"We've got an away game tomorrow, folks. I expect the best behavior from you all, or you will not go to the sports Valentine's Day party. I mean it." Bobby continued, "I know that this year has been hard with the Superbowl being delayed due to extenuating circumstances, but I still need you idjits to be good."

"Yes, coach," We deadpanned in unison like cult members. We started exiting the locker room.

"Dean, I would like you to stay," Coach said sternly.

Oh shit. 

Bobby led me to his office and motioned for me to sit in a chair.

"What's up with you, son?" Bobby questioned, "You've got that look, is it a girl? You're not back with Jo, are you? Lisa? Or is it a guy or an enby? You know that I don't care…"

"No, it's no one," I'm such a liar. I've had a crush on Cas since he moved here in fourth grade, and Bobby can see right through my bullshit.

"Bull," Bobby raised his eyebrows.

I shrugged. I couldn't even imagine what dad would say. Actually, I could. It would be to get out of his house and never come back.

"So that's it, you just wanted to be nosey? Besides, it's no one, and dad would never let me." I sighed.

"Don't worry about your old man. I'd take care of it. Mr. King and I always have a place for you and Sam anyway." Bobby was dating Mr. Crowley, no one but Sam and I knew.

I thanked him and left to go pick up Sam from the middle school. Boy, he had grown up so fast. I remembered when he was born. And when mom died.

* * *

I pulled up at the school, music blaring. Sam rushed to my car and opened the door.

"Can you drive me to Jess's house?" Sam asked.

"No, tonight's family dinner night." Dad's A.A. sponsor told him that it was a good idea to start trying to be more of a part of our lives. That started with dinner, I guess.

* * *

Dinner with Dad was painful. Sam and Dad bickered back and forth about every single little thing. Sam wanted to go to college, Dad wanted him to keep up with the family business, then Sam said that hunting and the military don't count as a legacy. I hate it here.

"Sam, give it a rest." I dropped my fork into Cambell's chicken noodle with stars.

"You're not siding with him, are you?" Sam's face was defensive.

"I'm the adult here." Dad slurred.

"A half of one at best," I muttered under my breath.

"What was that, boy?" Dad's face had that look I didn't like.

"Nothing, sir," I was trying not to get killed.

Creak. Dad slid his chair back and walked over to me. As he hovered over my head, my heart dropped to my stomach. He held his hand out and swung. 

I could feel the tingling on my face as he said, "Say something else, and it's gonna be somewhere else."

Sam got up from the table and ran to his room. I hated when Sam saw this. I knew it would hurt him more, but I still spoke anyway. It's hard. I knew Dad loved us. He just didn't know how to express it.

I walked away from the table as Dad drank more beer.

"Sam, you know that…" I couldn't think of an excuse, so I said, "Open the door, please."

Sam opened the door. His eyes were red, stress hives had formed on his arm. I wanted to hold him and tell him I would get us out here. I tried to protect him. I wanted him to always be safe. I just wish he knew Dad before Mom died. 

"Why?" Sam asked, "Why do you just sit there and take it."

So he won't come after you, I wanted to say. Instead, I just shrugged as he closed the door in frustration.

* * *

I woke up early to go on a run to clear my head. As I ran, I saw a familiar face. It was Cas, walking a fluffy golden retriever. There was a redheaded girl next to him. I didn't know her, but she was pretty. I stopped jogging and stared for a moment.

"Hey!" I waved.

"Oh hey, Dean!" Cas's face brightened. He turned to the girl, "Anna, this is Dean Winchester."

Anna threw up a hand shyly. I smiled in response. 

"Catch you later, I guess," I said as I walked away.

It was nice to see Cas, and he looked happy to see me. His sister was nice as well. I thought of the interaction as I strolled to the abandoned house on the end of the street. Sam always asked why I liked that place so much, but I don't know why. I just like creepy things. The house feels almost supernatural. 

* * *

"Hey!" Someone hit me in the back. Jo.

"Hay is for horses," Jo grinned. "Got a date for the party?"

I shook my head. I was planning on asking Lisa but Jo was a fun party person. This could pose an issue, but I decided to ignore it.

"Well, you do now, silly goose," Jo said snarkily. 

I always took Jo to parties. She was indeed the life of them. We'd go, she'd flirt, I'd scope out the crowd, we'd both be disappointed, then drunkenly make out in the Impala. Maybe grab a milkshake. It was tradition, but I had never taken Lisa before. Jo and I were more like flirty friends; I really had something with Lisa.

"Same as always?" I asked.

"Yup, come get me at five, and I'll bring the refreshments." She was referring to the whiskey she would steal from her mom's bar.

Jo walked away, and I turned to see Lisa standing at her locker. She was grabbing a math textbook and a copy of Gatsby.

"Hey Lis," I started.

"What do you want, Dean," She seemed annoyed.

"Are you ok?"

"I thought you've been ignoring me," Her voice had little emotion.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't realize how distant I was," Now was not the best time. I decided to say nothing about the party.

"Also, I'm not going to the party. My mom is making me watch my sister." Lisa was disappointed.

"Aw man," Score. This would work out.

We departed from the hallway, and I went to class.

* * *

School could not end fast enough. I couldn't wait for the game.

"Winchester, come see me," Mr. Crowley ordered me to his desk.

I hesitantly got up. He seemed pleased. I could not think of what this could possibly be about.

"Dean, your make-up test is perfect," His voice was enthusiastic. "I'm very proud."

Wow. I could not believe this. I thought for sure that I had flunked. As I breezed by, Cas gave me a thumbs up. I would have to thank him later.

* * *

The rest of the day flew by like cake. 

The team gathered in the locker room before entering the busses. Coach Bobby gave us one last speech.

"Alright, boys, remember what I said yesterday. Be polite and respectful but kick butt," The team cheered as soon as he said it.

We filled into the bus like sardines. This would be unpleasant on the ride home. I made sure I sat next to Cas to talk about science.

"Hey man, thank you so much," I patted his shoulder. 

"Of course," He didn't even look up from his book.

"What's it about" I pointed to On the Road.

"Oh, it's not your kind of book. You wouldn't like it," Cas muttered assertively. 

"I'm sure I would"

"When I finish, I'll let you borrow it," Cas clearly was uncomfortable.

"Ok," I decided not to press.

We sat in awkward silence. It was painful. I tried not to stare while he read his book, but he's all I wanted to pay attention to. I noticed the way his eyes glowed, the way his lip curled when he read something funny, the way he brushed his fringe away from his face.

"Dean...Dean...Dean," I finally noticed that Cas was talking to me.

"Huh?" Shit.

"You're staring," 

"You're a pretty picture," I tried to laugh it off, and I guess it worked because he smiled.

He titled his head in surprise at the comment, but he didn't say anything about it, just turned to his book again. I stared more this time, making it very obvious. He looked up again and grinned. This time, I scooted closer. Now, we were only inches apart. Without looking up, he put his head on my shoulder and continued reading. His hair was soft against my cheek. His arm fit perfectly next to mine. I felt so warm and fuzzy. I never had this feeling before.

* * *

"Hut, hut, 67," Bobby was yelling out commands, "Let's go, boys!"

The bright lights lit up the dark field. It was the fourth quarter, and things were looking good. Tried to keep my head in the game as I made a pass to Cas. Cas fumbled the ball, and another player tackled him.

"What are you doing, Novak?" Bobby yelled. Fumbles were out of character for Cas.

I noticed that the opponent was on top of Cas. This was more malicious than just a tackle. 

"Hey!" Gabe tried to break them up but got lost in the mix. 

Finally, a ref noticed and threw up a flag, "Fifteen-yard penalty!"

Cas stumbled up, his lip was bleeding, and a bruise formed around his eye. We cleared the field to regroup. Cas would most-likely be evaluated, and that player, Azazel, would be suspended. Bobby took Cas to the medical station and, after, walked to the refs and the other coach. You could see them conversing. Bobby's face was solemn.

"So, after talking to the other coach and the refs, we've decided to end this game. The behavior was unacceptable, and we want to prevent any other incidents from happening." Bob said, disappointingly. 

"Ugh, I want to kill this kid!" Gabe yelled. His face was red hot.

"Exactly," Cas spoke up from the bench. No one even noticed that he walked over. "This is what we want to prevent." 

Gabe crossed his arms. He's quite the drama queen.

Bobby told us to gather our stuff and meet him outside to get on the bus. Most of the team was able to grab their belongings quickly. I was about to leave the locker room when I heard someone grunt. They sounded frustrated. 

"Dean! Are you still in here?" Cas called out.

"Um...yeah? Why?"

Cas walked out from behind a row of lockers, shirtless. I tried to contain myself, but the sweat against his skin, the ruffled wet hair, the smile, he looked hot. I must say.

He looked defeated, "I can't find my bag."

I nodded, and Cas continued, "Can you tell Coach Singer that I'll be late? I need to find my bag."

I ran to Bobby, "Cas can't find his bag. I'm gonna stay and help him. I'll call for you to pick me up later."

"Sounds good, kiddo," Bobby gave me two thumbs up.

I ran back to Cas just to find him with his head between his knees on a bench. I didn't know what to do, so I just placed my hand on his back and left it there. 

The room smelled of old sweat and mud. The smell was so overwhelming, I don't know how I didn't notice it earlier. There are lots of things I haven't seen, I start to think about what I've actually paid attention to.

"Cas?" I question. "Are you ok?"

He shook his head. He didn't even move from his position, so I got up to look around. The lockers didn't have locks, so I opened all of them. Nothing. I checked under benches, in stalls; I even looked by the toilets.

"Man, I can't find it," I sighed.

Seconds after I said those words, the lights went out, and I heard the twist of a key.

"Damnit!" I'd never heard Cas curse before, "What are we gonna do?"

"Cas, I don't know," I said as I tried to think. 

I opened my phone to see that it was dead. I couldn't use the flashlight, and if Cas didn't have his bag, he didn't have his phone with him. Thankfully, I had a charger in my pocket, but it would take at least an hour for my Motorola to charge. Damn, that phone takes forever.

"We're gonna miss the party, and it's all my fault," Cas started sobbing.

"No, don't cry," I don't do well with tears. I sat back down on the bench.

"Dean…" Cas scooted away from me.

"What?" I moved closer so I could hear him through the sobs.

Cas turned and kissed me. His soft lips against mine felt like heaven on a platter. He ran his hands through my hair as he swung his legs over onto my lap. I lay down on my back as he leaned into me. I began kissing back but still letting him lead. This is what I wanted. I've been yearning for this. He moves from my lips to my neck, and I run my hands across his muscles.

"Dean?"

"Cas?"

"God, I love it when you say my name," He says as he undresses me faster.

* * *

After we finish, I check my phone to see if it is charged. The time says 7:15. It's only been an hour since the game ended, so we're not too late.

"So what do we do now?" Cas was lying on the bench, looking at the ceiling.

"Call Bobby to pick us up, I guess?" I ran out of solutions, "I think someone stole it."

"You're probably right, but how do we get out of here?" Cas questioned.

I did not think about that. We were in a locked locker room after school hours with no way of getting out or seeing.

It took me a moment, but I came up with a solution. There's a window high up in the back, so I slid another bench towards it so I could reach it. I flicked the lock on the window, and it budged. It was a small window, but I could climb up and slide my torso through without issue. 

"Cas!" I yelled as I slid downwards out of the window, back into the locker room.

"What?"

"I found a solution."

* * *

Bobby arrived quickly to pick up a poor freezing shirtless Cas and me.

"No bag?" Bobby questioned.

We shrugged and told him we couldn't find it. Bobby said that we were never playing this school again. Cas and I were content with that. I looked over to Cas and smiled. He smiled back and giggled. I held out my hand, and he took it. I felt the warm sensation through my body again as he touched me.

"What's up with you guys?" Bobby asked.

"Nothing," I smiled but quickly pulled my hand away from Cas. I wasn't ready to tell Bobby yet.

* * *

We arrived at Valentine's party, and Jo was the first to greet me.

"Did you forget about me?" Jo wrinkled her nose in annoyance.

"Sorry, I was looking for Cas's bag." I'm not lying.

"Well, I found another date." Jo turned to a girl, Lisa.

"Hey Dean," Lisa waved and pointed to a redhead, "Meet Charlie!"

"Hi! I'm Jo's girlfriend!" Charlie stuck out her hand enthusiastically. 

I laughed—what a wild night. I strolled over to the drink table and grabbed some punch. Cas found me through the crowd. He was shy now.

"Dean? Are we going to talk about this?" Cas insisted.

"Sure."

"I like you."

"I get that." I wondered what the problem was.

"And?" Cas seemed unsure.

I moved closer to Cas and hugged him. 

Cas told me that Gabe had grabbed his bag from the locker room because he knew that Cas was hurt. Gabe was goofy but kind at heart. Cas was thankful that he did, and no one stole it.

That reminded me that I had something to give Cas. I opened my bag and handed Cas a mixtape with some Zeppelin favorites.

"Dean, I can't take this," Cas was in awe.

"It's a gift; you keep those." I smiled and took his hand to dance.

#spn #fic #destiel crack #crack fic #request #fanfic #this is not my usual style lol #userroadhouse

[mashpotatoe]

Tell me .. about CartMark pls 😳?

basically i don ship em as kids rather as adults plus they interact for a Good Minute as stinky tantrum throwing teenagers.. mr and ms cotswolds finally let their kids out of the birdcage and watch as they depart at age 14 👋so mark n rebecca go to the same school as all the other kids cuz petite mountain town they dont have a variety of options and erics like hella lonely and angsty and just hopeless at that time given main four is at their lowest and everybodys going through their own shit :/ and mark pretty much not being aware of cartmans past mischief doesnt hesitate to come up to him like Heya there i remember you 🙂 youre that kid who misspelled the word chair" and erics just standing there secretly ecstatic to finally engage with someone other than himself after weeks of isolation ... so they spend time together and get to know each other better mark gets frustrated with erics stupid remarks and doesnt take shit from him so eric knows not to mess with him too much plus hes trying to chill with the whole losing friends shtick meanwhile mark actually starts to develop certain feelings which is obscene cuz cartmans usually the yearning-never-fulfilling one !! coupla months pass they hang out at erics and mark starts rambling about how refreshing its been to be chums with another boy and how worried he was about his first year going to public skewl while cartman waits for him to stop so they can go play lego starwars but mark decides to steer up tension and talk about how Very fond he is of other guys ... then cartmans self loathing ass blushes furiously calls him the f slur and kicks him outta the house fucking rip <\3 and as for adult cartmark idk they meet again after a bitter decade marks like Youve abandoned me during my most fragile of ages. wanna date. theyre horrible they argue a lot... mostly about how mark doesnt get his pop culture references... amore

#asks

[notthatiwilleverwriteit]

first time Cheng and qiu tried to kidnap jian was because his father gave the order I remember his mom talking to his dad on the phone in that chapter. So that means that jian's father will be the one to tell Cheng and qiu to bring jian to him in high school.When jian was telling xi about the kidnapping that happened in high school he told him that two big guys took him that must be cheng and qiu. If Cheng really will kidnap jian I feel like it would damage his and tian relationship even more

Good morning, dear anon-san!

And I’m sorry it took me a while to get to your question. There were a couple of big asks before you, and I had to get them out of the way first. I have actually wanted to talk about the He brothers for a while now, so thank you for giving me this nudge. There might be some extra stuff that you weren’t really asking about included in this answer, but I’m sure you won’t mind.

In case you want to read more about my feels towards the brothers, may I refer you to one of my earlier posts about my favorite 19 Days chapter.

“first time Cheng and qiu tried to kidnap jian was because his father gave the order I remember his mom talking to his dad on the phone in that chapter. So that means that jian's father will be the one to tell Cheng and qiu to bring jian to him in high school.When jian was telling xi about the kidnapping that happened in high school he told him that two big guys took him that must be cheng and qiu.”

You mention two different chapters: Jian Yi’s kidnap in high school and the first time He Cheng and Qiu were trying to take JY. And on both times, JY was in fact taken on his father’s orders. (ch. 46 and 168):

I’m not sure if the two big guys in the early chapter were meant as HC and Qiu but that detail doesn’t really change anything. Mr. Jian will still be behind it and I’m sure HC and Qiu will be executing the high school kidnapping, too. This little thing just to refresh our memory of the specific chapters and moments you mentioned.

“If Cheng really will kidnap jian I feel like it would damage his and tian relationship even more”

Well, it won’t help to mend their relationship, that’s for sure. But I have always thought their relationship is quite complex. They were clearly extremely close when He Tian was younger. HT looked up to his big brother in more ways than one considering their upbringing, and HC was very protective of him and had practically raised his little brother (ch. 252):

I also think the conflicts the brothers are having these days hurt both of their hearts. It’s not easy for HC to make HT submit by doing favors for him only HC can offer. And it seems what he has had to do to HT in the past, all the heartbreak he had to cause him, has never stopped tormenting HC. (ch. 245 and 252)

In return, it seems HT is conflicted about his brother, too. At first glance, it could look like HT despises his brother and wants nothing to do with him but I think he still loves and cares about HC quite a lot. That’s one of the reasons he’s acting up and being defiant around HC so much. It’s painful for him to be on the opposing sides, and he is probably feeling betrayed by HC sticking to their father’s side of the world. But ultimately it hurts because HT still cares, and he takes it all out on him by acting bratty (ch. 168, 266, 300, and 302):

Overall, if there’s one character who puts HT in a different light compared to MGS, JY and ZZX, it would be HC. He is the one who has both physical and mental hold on HT and can overpower him and make him change his mind against his will. HC is one of the very few people who could put an end to HT reaching his ultimate goal of not having anything to do with their family and the criminal underworld. HC also makes HT look more his age. Around him, HT becomes the little brother and more child-like. (ch. 229 and 300)

I think all of that needs to be taken into consideration when wondering how JY’s pending kidnapping will affect the brothers’ relationship. I’m sure it will damage it but I doubt it will break it. I’ve touched on this subject in one of my earlier asks, but I think we have had some tentative hints regarding the future of the brothers (ch. 224 and 245):

HT wants to protect his friends who are indirectly connected to the underworld. His friends are being pulled to the same darkness HT himself has lived in, and he wants nothing more than to keep that from happening. His friends would be utterly in over their heads. Unfortunately, he’s not all-powerful, and to gain influence he has to give something back. We already saw it happen once with HT trying to protect MGS, and I don’t see a reason why it couldn’t happen again with JY’s kidnapping.

Will HT try to appeal to his brother in order to keep JY safe as much as possible? JY was gone for years, so I’m assuming whatever it was about couldn’t have been avoided completely no matter what HT would have offered to do in return. But I think HT being abroad (and potentially working for his father) has something to do with protecting his friends. And that could be connected to JY’s future after the kidnapping.

However, will their relationship be broken in some essential way for good, that’s another matter altogether. Will HT finally give up on caring about his brother? I think judging by the look HT had on his face when HC and Qiu got involved in JY lately can hint at that HT isn’t about to ignore the advances and how volatile he can potentially get (ch. 280 and 287):

Then there’s also HC himself to consider. So far, he has taken their father’s side and merely tried to keep some kind of truce going on between Mr. He and HT but it’s obvious he’s conflicted. Will there ever come a point when he’s forced to choose between following orders and the family legacy or protecting the person he cares about the most? Will he join HT then? Or will he stay with the family and try to keep HT out of harm’s way that way? Will he sever their relationship to do that?

Either way, personally I see three different potential scenarios. HT starts working for his family in order to protect his friends. That means the brothers will remain in each other’s lives but their relationship probably gets filled with more resentment and pain. On both sides. HT will grow to resent his brother more and more, and at the same time, HC will probably feel more and more guilty about it.

They could also break their relationship on their own. One way to do that would be if HC decided it’s better to let his brother go or that it’s better for HT to disappear from the underworld. Or, the third choice, HC could decide it was time for him to stand up to their father and take HT’s side.

Or some combination of all three.

So many questions! Personally, I think the relationship of the He brothers is one of the most complicated ones 19 Days has. And it’s so difficult to say anything concrete with the little info we have about the future.

Ah, it’s been a while since I have ranted about these two. Thank you for your question, dear anon-san!

#19 days #He Tian #He Cheng #Jian Yi #answered ask

[hlvrai-loving]

Tricks, Treats, And a Falling Out

"Spooky scary skeletons~" Josh softly hums, dabbing a bit of white face paint onto his cheeks. He wouldn't be doing his whole face, of course, but what little he did put would serve as a nice nod to the Batter's monochrome appearance.

"... send shivers down your spiiine~" Then again... monochrome is black, white, and gray, right? There's probably another word for just the two opposing shades...

His phone buzzed on the countertop, a message reminding him to bring water and to be ready in five. Well, what luck it was that he was already dressed, wasn't it? As for water... Josh decided to bring his backpack for any refreshments he'd inevitably end up carrying, starting with a few bottles filled to the brim with cold water.

With most of his costume ready in advance, Joshua placed the cap on his head and checked in on his room, just to ensure he hadn't forgotten anything.

And it was then that his eyes fell on the aluminum bat.

Things... Stakes, you could call them, seemed to be mounting these days. Whatever the hell happened with the eyes and... that man... they wouldn't stop just for the sake of a holiday. He'd kept himself from bringing it to school, of course, but... trick or treating would be different. Even with his friends and Tiff around, he wouldn't be safe... Even if he'd hate to admit it, Joshua knew it'd be better safe than sorry.

And so went the bat into the bag, for later protection.

After that little debate with himself, Josh made his way to the device, explaining to CB and his "friends on the other side" that he'd be unavailable for the night and that he wished for them to take care and keep an eye out. And with that, another buzz of his phone let him know the time had come.

Tossing the bag onto his back, the teen hit the lights and left the room.

Upon opening the front door, he was greeted to the sight of Allen, a jumpy tune coming from his person as the visualizer displayed on his jacket danced. "Yo yo yoooo~! Wassup Dorkman? Ready to purify?" He let out, causing Josh to giggle.

"Yeah yeah, just about. What is going on theeere?" He questioned, referring to the animated clothing. Al grinned, glancing down at it.

"Awe, this ol' thing? Just a little something foster Pops helped me out with. It's connected to the music on my phone and lights up to the beat. Hook in a few speakers here and there and you've got the KING OF DUBSTEP, BUDDY! Heh, same thing's going on with the glasses, but, uh, can't really see shit when it's going off so I'm only turning that on when I really don't need to use my eyes anyways."

"Ghdfff!! What!! You're telling me you just invented a new kind of jacket like it was nothing??"

Al shrugged. ""Invented" is too strong a word for something like this. I'd rather call it "pushing the limits of reality". Much more humble."

J laughed softly. "H-humble my ass, you douche! God damn it, Al."

"Mweh mweh, can we getta move on? The girls are waiting for us a little ways down the road."

"Ey, don't you tell me what to do!"

"Oi, you talking back ta me? Ya givin' me liiip?" The pale teen made sure to pop the "p" as best as he could. Josh couldn't help but smile, shutting and locking the door behind him as he made his way out.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Al."

The night air hung cold, Autumn managing to chill even this town it seemed. As far as Joshua knew, this was the first time he could recall actually shivering upon heading outside. Allen seemed to notice this, lightly hitting his arm.

"Cold cuz you haven't been out in months, ey Joshie?"

"Oh shut it, I'm not cold. Just... It's a bit chillier than I remember."

"Yeah yeah, Mr "I wear a blanket while cruising the space-web"!"

"Shut uuuupp! I do nooot!"

"Do toooo! I saw you when I visited!"

The teen lightly punched his friend's arm right back. "Hush it, would you? Now, where're the girls?" He pondered, resulting in Allen taking him by the wrist and leading him forward as a new song started.

"Riiiight over here, Dorkman."

And sure enough, there they were. Clera was gushing over Tiff's modern take on the stitched together monstrosity, while Tiff was doing her damndest to deny that it was really anything to be impressed over. Upon seeing the boys arrive, Clera quickly made her way over, excited as ever. Her black top and adjoining skirt were riddled with hearts and flowery patterns, which shimmered ever so slightly in the light of the street lamps.

"Joshie!! Hiiii! Your costume looks great!" She chirped out, her contagious enthusiasm causing even Joshua's woes to fade onto his mind's abyss for a little bit longer.

He smiled. "Hahah, it's really nothing. Especially not compared to yours! Did you make it yourself, Cler?"

Her eyes lit up at his kind words, fingers trailing the lace hem of the skirt. "Ehehee! You know it! I sketched it out then I coloured it and me and dad had to go out to get the right fabrics for it, then we went ahead and made it proper! I had to buy the shoes though."

"Wow... How long'd that take you?"

"Around a month!" She giggled.

"Jesus, just a month? Where'd you find the time to make it?" Allen butted in, rather surprised.

She shrugged. "Ooh, but mine's nothing compared to Tiff's!! Give it a looook! Doesn't she look great?" She cheered, the other girl bashfully turning away.

"Cler, mine's not that gooood! Stoooop!" She pleaded, looking away. And, true, it wasn't much. Just a leather jacket, an electric blue shirt, some torn black jeans, and the more "monsterful" additions the studs, makeup, and spray dye gave. It was for the most part the bare minimum one would need to say they were in costume, but... it was still a costume nonetheless.

May as well praise the effort.

"Yeah, hah, she looks amazing, Cler." Josh smiled. Allen, on the other hand...

"Well... It's not exactly creative, is it?" He grinned, earning an annoyed glare from Tiff and an unamused pout from Clera.

"Sooo? She still did her best! I think it looks incredible!" The petite witch told, reassuringly holding her girlfriend's arm.

"Yeah, at least I'm not a walking light show. How was that creative?" Tiff retorted.

"Ey ey, excuse my goddamn French, but did you just diss the drip, Tiffy?"

"That is not "drip"! That's a jacket that lights up! You may as well have gone as a lamp!"

"Oh ho ho! Is that whatcha think?? Well, listen here-"

"Guys!" Joshua interjected. Evidently, it seemed something may have happened between the two beforehand to cause such tension... "Let's just... wh-why don't we just get started, huh? We're, uh, h-here to trick or treat, aren't we? S-so, heh..."

At Tiff's side, Clera uncomfortably shifted. The taller teen let out a sigh. "Fine fine. Might as well... My folks want me to be home at 11, so we're better off not wasting time."

"We won't. I promise you, we'll have more than enough time to get all the candy we could ever need before 11." Josh gave a small smile as Tiff coldly stared down at him.

"Yeah yeah..." She muttered, heading to the house nearest to them with Clera. Before he could follow, Josh pulled Allen aside.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"What'dya mean?"

"Al, don't play dumb with me. Did you and Tiff have a fight or something? You looked like you were both on the verge of throwing hands or something!"

Allen shrugged, clearly uninterested in providing an actual response. "Dunno... Didn't you just say a second ago that we have to start? Shouldn't we join 'em before they hit up too many houses?"

Joshua sighed, figuring Al would just keep denying it if he continued. "Fine, but I'm not dropping the subject."

"Oh, you will." The pale boy reassured, patting Joshua's shoulder as he passed him by. He frowned slightly. Later, he would get to the bottom of this, but for now?... For now, he supposed he had no choice but to follow his friend and truly start their night of candy hunting.

With a quick glance at the emptiness behind him, Joshua made his way forward to their first house of the night.

~~~~~~~

"Never thought I'd see the day." Al smirked, tearing open a chocolate bar. "Figured full-sized treats were but a legend these days!"

"Dude, aren't you supposed to, like, look through those?" Tiff regarded, dismissively running her fingers through her hair.

"Pfft, why? Not like anyone would bother tampering with these." He sneered, messily devouring the entire confection as the girl turned away in disgust.

The group had decided to take a short break, hydrating and taking a short sit on a park bench. They'd amassed quite an impressive stash of sugary goodness, as well as more than a few snide remarks surrounding their age, but the latter wasn't important at the moment.

Instead, Joshua's attention was focused solely on the empty playground ahead, the swings swaying softly in the gentle breeze. Seemed like only yesterday, he was still having fun in a set just like this. He and his friends would play for hours, making up silly games with whatever imaginary rules their minds could come up with. Running around, getting scrapes and bruises and thinking it was the end of the world, as if that was the worst they would ever get hurt...

He sat back against the bench, feeling more tired than ever. Things... were practically unrecognizable now than how they were when he was a kid. The idea of play and fun forever being within his reach had withered into nothing years ago, and the fears he had then couldn't hold a candle to whatever monsters kept him up on particularly stressful nights. It was all surreal... Unfamiliar, yet...

Josh shook his head slightly, he'd worry about all of that when the time came. It always did in the end. Might as well deny that bridge when he inevitably came to it, right?

"Joshie, hey..." Clera lightly nudged him, tearing the boy from his thoughts. He gave her a glance, and she happily showed him a chocolate witch someone placed in her bag. "It's a me!"

Joshua couldn't help but laugh. Once again, Cler unknowingly saves the day. "It sure is. Could do with a lot more hearts though, huh?"

"Ehehe! You know it!" She placed it back into her bag, lightly swinging her legs. "... So, Joshie?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you do all day when you're not at school?"

"... Ah, I..." He began playing with his fingers. "... Just... c-coding, mostly. Nothing m-much else, why?"

"Mmm... We don't get to see you much anymore."

"... R-right, I... I'm real sorry about that, I just-"

"I even had good ideas on what we could do together." She continued, her head down. "Better than the mall and a movie, i-if that's why. I can come up with better ones too if you don't like them."

"... Clera, you... I haven't stopped hanging with you guys because I didn't like it, I'm just... I'm going through a lot right now. Things that I... I can't explain to you correctly. I hardly-"

She cut him off, fidgeting slightly. "Because I wouldn't understand, right?"

He fell silent for a few brief moments, "I... C-Clera, it's more than th-that... I'm... It's a f-family matter... You know, p-personal. I haven't told a-anyone."

The girl remained unresponsive for a few moments, staring down at her feet. Then, she only answered with a quiet "Oh."

"... Hey, we... we've still got a few more houses to go before 11. Why don't we get back to it, huh?" He forced a gentle smile. "Maybe someone will give you more chocowitches..."

Clera gazed up at him with sad eyes, but nodded regardless, picking up her candy bag, standing from her seat, and brushing off her skirt. Josh went ahead and informed the other two that they were ready to head off once more.

And unseen from a nearby rooftop, a skeleton sang out a few notes of blue as it watched them leave.

#jfreeman #ask joshua freeman #hlvrai joshua #mostly just for my ask blog but i hope you enjoy it anyways #there was supposed to be more but this is so long already and I have no idea how to make a cut for this

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 1x05 Review

Homecoming was a historic ep that was a giant leap forwards for rep on Disney and an overall delightful ep. Let’s dig in!

I was blown away by Seblos this ep, I never expected Disney to go this far this soon but what great scenes we got. It was so refreshing to see Carlos and Seb acting like normal teens, just like any straight couple. They have good chemistry and Frankie played Carlos’ nerves when asking Seb to the dance perfectly and his celebration after Seb said yes. I liked when Seb mentioned that homecoming would mean dancing together in front of all the non theatre kids, a little reminder of how much of a safe space the theatre can be. Really powerful to see Carlos tell Mr. Mazzara that he thought he made a mistake asking him to dance with him publicly and to see Carlos be brave enough to go dance on his own. And then when Seb arrived we got the shot we see in every teen movie where the love interest arrives at the big dance and sees the main character and smiles, it’s amazing that we saw that with two guys on a Disney show. Also impressive that Seb apologizing to Carlos was done in just one take as Tim revealed on instagram

Tim Federle has done an amazing job so far and good for him for going right into text. He’s said in interviews that no one from Disney ever asked him to cut any scenes or shy away from certain topics, which doesn’t mean much since he’d be saying that regardless of how much he was being censored, but we can see with our own eyes that he really is telling the truth. Now I do want more development for Carlos and Seb as characters as well as Seblos as a ship and I do think we’ll get that especially since Joe Serafini has been promoted to a series regular for S2, which is a very good sign that Disney is all in with Tim Federle’s plans. What an exciting time, there will soon be two main gay characters on a Disney show played by openly gay actors on a show created by an openly gay man. Tim has spoken of how Disney + is in some ways an open frontier and that he’s willing to take big jumps and I can’t wait to see what the rest of S1 and S2 has in store for us

Things have changed a lot since the High School Musical movies came out. It’s well known that Ryan was meant to be gay even though he could never actually be gay. Lucas Grabeel has spoken of how Kenny Ortega told him that Ryan was a lot like his High School self. In an interview with EW, Tim Federle was asked about the censorship of Ryan’s character and he noted that he wasn’t there for the movies and doesn’t view what he’s now doing on HSMTMTS as making up for anything that the original movies weren’t able to do. Which is fair but regardless in some ways tonight's ep does make up for the censorship of the movies

While reading an article on HSMTMTS I came upon a link to a story from October 2008 about Ryan and how he was clearly being coded as gay that featured some revealing quotes from Gary Marsh, from an interview conducted in summer 2008:

Regarding the fact that there are boyfriend-girlfriend relationships in the HSM movies, Marsh interjected, “Yeah, but that’s not about sex,” as though having two boyfriends equals full-tilt boogie. And as to why there can be boyfriend and girlfriends but not two boyfriends, he could only note, “It’s just not something that we’ve ever had the opportunity to portray. It hasn’t been a place we’ve gone.”

If someone, like Gary Marsh, believes that lgbtq relationships are inherently sexual then that means they don’t believe they’re appropriate for children. It’s no surprise then that it wouldn’t be until 2014 that Disney Channel had two lesbian moms appear on Good Luck Charlie and it wouldn’t be until 2017 that Cyrus came out to Buffy. Clearly Gary has for whatever reasons evolved in his views or there wouldn’t have been any rep on Disney Channel in the past 11 years nor do I think that he would make a comment like that publicly today but he probably does still believe that to an extent and I’d imagine other senior Disney executives do as well

 A few things are helping Disney + push boundaries, being more of a PG than a G rated service, not being exclusively targeted towards children, and being a curated service so parents can easily avoid showing their kids shows with lgbtq rep. And perhaps most importantly, the cold hard reality that if Disney + is to become financially viable then it has to appeal to a broad audience and provide the same quality or better than people could find on Netflix or other streaming services so the kind of censorship we see on Disney Channel just can’t fly

There’s been a lot of discourse regarding Seblos and Tyrus and HSMTMTS and Andi Mack and I’ll take the time to say my piece now. It’s not entirely fair to compare the ships and shows since they’re taking place under very different circumstances. Tyrus was a heavily censored ship that was only given permission to canon when the series finale was written whereas Seblos is already canon in the 5th ep. It’s true that TJ was written in a way to subvert gay stereotypes which was important but it’s also true that for most of the audience they didn’t know that he was gay until the bench scene itself so there wasn’t that much trope subversion going on. And who knows how he would have been written if they were actually allowed to have him be openly gay before the series finale

Carlos and Seb may fall into some stereotypes but Tim Federle has spoken of how when he was in High School he would have loved to play a character like Sharpay but wouldn’t have had the confidence to do so and he wrote Seb wanting to play a female role with his own past experiences in mind. He’s also spoken about how Carlos was based off of a close friend of his and he put some of himself into Carlos as well with Carlos telling Mr. Mazzara that he was meant to be on Broadway being something Tim told one of his own teachers in High School. Frankie and Joe have talked about how they see a lot of their own experiences in Carlos and Seb as characters and in Seblos as a relationship. Tim has spoken a lot about how important authenticity is to him and while Carlos and Seb may be stereotypical to some people it shouldn’t be discounted that others can see their lived experiences in those characters

For Andi Mack it’s important to separate Cyrus’ story from the Tyrus story line. It’s unlikely HSMTMTS could have pulled off Cyrus’ coming out story line, the shows are just too different. We’re almost certainly not going to see a One in a Minyan style ep on HSMTMTS but would we have seen such an ep on Andi Mack if they didn’t need to pack all of Cyrus’ S3 story line into one ep? We also can’t forget that 3x11 was written shortly after the cancellation and it was written as a potential end to the gay story line since they didn’t know until months later if they could go with canon Tyrus or not. Even with the limits it faced Andi Mack did a great job with Cyrus’ coming out story line and I think eps like 2x01 and 2x13 and 3x11 will be fondly remembered and will stand the test of time

When it comes to Tyrus though it’s fair to say that the bench scene was a historic and important moment but also an underwhelming one. Andi Mack didn’t live up to the promise that Cyrus was no different but it was never going to be able to with Disney’s restrictions, they were willing to focus on Cyrus as a gay character but not Cyrus as an actively gay character. One thing that will make Seblos go down a lot better than Tyrus is that we aren’t going to see Carlos bearding himself like Cyrus did. It won’t age well at all that Cyrus got to go on dates with Iris and kiss her twice and refer to her as a his girlfriend and even come up with a mashup name for them but Terri probably would have done things very differently if she had known that all Cyrus would be able to do with a boy was hold hands in the series finale. We can also tell that HSMTMTS won’t be facing an increase in censorship later on since Seb will be a main in S2 whereas Disney cracked down hard after S2 for Andi Mack, probably because the story was shifting from Cyrus having a hopeless crush on a straight guy to a reciprocated crush on a gay guy

Since Seblos is textual from the start it will be much easier to write and also much easier to fix things when the writers inevitably make mistakes. I think a lot of the defensiveness coming from certain corners of the Andi Mack fandom is because deep down people know that the bench scene wasn’t enough pay off for the long dragged out Tyrus no burn we got; especially with all of the drama and angst they had. Development is important but it doesn’t take two thirds of the series to set up a silent handhold. I think it’s very unlikely that for HSMTMTS we’ll see the drastic decline in quality that Andi Mack had for most story lines after 3x11. The bench scene would have been better if we hadn’t gotten the worst writing of the series for TJ and Cyrus as characters that did a real disservice to them and to Tyrus as a ship in the eps before the finale. The Tyrus story line was never going to get a great ending with Disney’s restrictions but it is also true that Terri’s choices made things a lot worse than they had to be

 It’s insane that they introduced Kira as a homophobic character who was manipulating TJ but also was clearly into him; how do professional writers come up with that? It’s just not a mistake Tim Federle is going to make. Trying to do an external homophobia story line was an obviously bad idea but so was giving TJ an out of nowhere internalized homophobia plot in 3x13 and 3x15 before dropping it in 3x18. Cyrus’ coming out story line helped a lot of people because it showed the correct way for friends to react when someone comes out to you but for TJ they never did anything to help people dealing with internalized or external homophobia, the message was effectively ‘’deal with it on your own kids’’, which is sharp contrast with how openly his dyscalculia plot was handled. I don’t think HSMTMTS would be effectively able to deal with homophobia either but I think Tim probably realizes that and won’t attempt it

 There were a lot of little things Terri could have changed that would have helped. Don’t insert Kira into their plot. Don’t have Amber kiss Jonah or say she’s love him so at least she could have pointed to another character who never got to kiss a guy or talk about feelings. Put the Jandi bracelet scene in between the Muffy and Tyrus confession scenes so we don’t go straight from a Muffy kiss and handhold and verbal confession to the bench scene. And just write the bench scene better so it’s more in line with the Tyrus dynamic like how the Muffy and Jandi scenes did a good job capturing their own dynamics. Of course, we’re not going to see Seblos end so subtly so all these problems just won’t arise

Tyrus was important because it happened and may well be the only lgbtq rep we see for middle school characters played by actual teenagers for a very long time. But it’s also true that Andi Mack’s legacy will probably rest a lot more with Cyrus specifically, especially him saying the word gay, whereas HSMTMTS will be remembered more for normalizing lgbtq relationships with Seblos. I’m glad Tyrus happened but I’m also glad that Seblos will be a much smoother story line and will break boundaries for years to come. Anyways that’s my two cents

I really liked the Gina development this ep. Her doesn’t do cash line was interesting, hinting at financial problems? Moving 5 schools in 7 years is rough and I’d like to hear more about that. I’m glad that we got confirmation that she didn’t have an actual plan and was just winging it because her actions really did not make much sense. Tim Federle had said that love triangles will become love squares and it does make more sense to have Gina be into Ricky than EJ since there’s no real drama if she’s into EJ because Nini is totally over him. I do think Gina was being sincere in the scene with Ricky in the car (which Tim said was Big Red’s car that he lent Ricky and that Joshua and Sofia did that scene in just two takes). I also think that she needs Ricky as a friend not a lover and Ricky would not be happy if he ever found out that she was the one who initially stole Nini’s phone

Miss Jenn and Mike Bowen and Benjamin Mazzara love triangle? We do know that Miss Jenn and Mr. Mazzara spend Thanksgiving trapped together which is obvious set up for feelings to develop. We also got Mr. Mazzara doing a 180 and being nice to Carlos this ep which seems like a ploy to get him on the audiences good side

Loved the friendship moments we got this ep. Big Red and Kourtney are great friends. Ricky taking Big Red to his first dance was sweet and I love that Big Red showed up in a old man suit jacket that looks like it was from the 70s. Ngl I thought Ricky was wearing pajama pants for most of the ep. Glad we got a glimpse into Kourtney and Nini’s past, they’ve been friends at least since the 7th grade. I hope Kourtney stands up to the mean costume designer senior

I liked seeing Nini grappling with her self confidence after finding out that she got the lead role at summer camp because EJ poisoned the original lead. She does have the talent but that kind of revelation would leave most people shook

Glad that Ricky and his dad had a honest convo this ep. It’s just the two of them now so they need to stick by each other

Ashlyn has been an unexpected delight so far, I liked that she was the only one to go and support Carlos and she was rocking that suit

Ricky’s office stare after Gina dumped punch on EJ’s head was too funny

Born to be brave was a great song and the choreography blew me away, such a talented cast and crew they have

All of the costumes looked great this ep, kudos to the costume designers 

RIP Seb’s cow

Looking Ahead:

Miss Jenn faces her tribunal, I’m curious to see how much she faked on her resume

We get photos of Seb comforting Carlos which I think comes after he finds out that Miss Jenn is suspended. In the medley trailer there was a clip of Carlos hugging Miss Jenn at a coffee shop so maybe that’s next ep since there’s no need to meet at a coffee shop if she’s not suspended

The cast has talked about how we the audience we’ll be going back and forth on team Ricky vs team EJ all season long which at this point seems like a lie. I’m sure EJ’s redemption arc starts soon and if he’s still going to panic attacks I’d imagine that will soon be brought up but Nini is totally over him and I can’t see her being torn about her feelings for EJ in the final 5 eps of the season

With Seb being a main in S2 that will make things more difficult for the writers to juggle and I hope they are thinking about how to balance the different characters. I also wonder what the long term plan for EJ is since he’s the only senior and if S2 takes place spring semester of his senior year then what are they gonna do with him in S3?

We know that in 1x10 breaking free has EJ, Nini, and Ricky so I wonder if EJ starts off playing Troy for whatever reason before Ricky shows up. Since Ricky thinks Nini is over him I don’t think we’ll be seeing him make a move unless he gets some kind of signal from Nini

Wonder what was up with that Sharpay’s mom credit on imdb, just some random imdb troll? If so, what a coincidence that she picked what happened to be a big Seb ep

I don’t know if this will have impact on the show going forward but this marks the point that Tim Federle took over as showrunner after original showrunner Oliver Goldsmith departed. Oliver wanted to take the show in a more mature direction but Tim disagreed and Disney sided with him over Oliver

Until next week Wildcats

#HSMTMTS #Seblos #Carlos #seb mathew-smith #Ricky Bowen #Gina Porter #Nini Salazar-Roberts #Kourtney #Big Red #Ashlyn #EJ Caswell #Mike Bowen #Miss Jenn #Benjamin Mazzara #HSMTMTS Reviews

[msjr0119]

Cordonian Wags

Part 23

In a world full of Professional footballers and their demanding wives- can their football team nicknamed the ‘Cordonian Apples’ succeed? An American female physiotherapist joins the club. Will this cause issues with the footballers wives?

*This series is based on The Royal Romance characters who belong to Pixelberry - AU Plot switch*

Warnings: Swearing, heartache, smut.

A/N: Wow nearly three months on hiatus- sorrrryyy! But it’s back🙌🏼. To refresh your memories click here. Thanks Paigey for reading snippets as always 😘

Tags: @pedudley @kacie-0156 @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @drxkewalker @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @whenyourheartskipsabeat @jovialyouthmusic @nz1091 @yukinagato2012 @indiacater @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @cordonianroyalty @desireepow-1986

*****

Constantine Rhys the chairman of the Apples has been murdered in his own home. Reports initially suggested a knife had been involved in the attack. A neighbour said they had heard someone yell “I’m going to kill you” during an argument prior to the death of Mr Rhys. More news to follow.

Everyone gathered at Liam’s house the morning after the breaking news- neither brother showed any shock, both just nodded their heads whenever Xavier or Constantine’s names were mentioned. Neither giving two shits about the deaths. Feeling guilty that they hadn’t spoken to their step mother, they still felt anger towards the secret that she had kept along with their father. As far as they were both concerned; their friends were their family.

Drake had been over affectionate with Riley ever since his nightmare from the previous night- asking her if she was okay every so often. Too often for her liking. “I’m fine, Drake. At this moment in time I’m still, Riley. I want to keep it that way- Riley the teams physio, your girlfriend, nothings wrong with me as far as every one else is concerned okay?” Her eyes pleaded with him to keep her secret for now, at least until she knew what the future held for her.

“I just... I need to know that you’re okay. I’m sorry. Do you want to go out for dinner later? My treat. Or we could just have a takeaway at the cabin? Watch a movie?”

“Let’s go back. Every second spent with you is going to be precious.” Holding her in his embrace, he couldn’t believe how strong she had been since her ordeal. Knowing that deep down, under the facade she was possibly breaking down in secret- masking her true feelings.

“Hey, Riley. Are you okay?” Liam and Leo interrupted the two of them, each providing her with a soft smile.

“Yes, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine?” She asked in a paranoid, defensive manner.

“To put it bluntly, you got beaten up- Olivia killed your husband infront of you. Now our father, your ex father in law has been murdered.” Liam stated the facts, not wanting to remind her of the horror that she had gone through- but rather to remind her that she had support from everyone.

“And you’re asking me if I’m okay? As you said Liam, your father was murdered as well as your half brother.”

“He deserved it. He was never a father to us. It’s people like him who give the word ‘father’ a bad name. Then there’s men that can’t conceive a child with their partner, who would make fantastic father’s...” Riley’s face faulted as Leo said this on behalf of him and Liam. Knowing that he was just referring to men in general- in the back of her mind that would be Drake. The guilt that she carried, knowing potentially that she wouldn’t be able to give him the family that he had dreamt about.

“You know what, after you mentioned all about it again- I have become slightly upset about it. I’m just going to get some fresh air.” Drake was about to follow her, but she insisted that he stayed. Watching her walk out- he knew why she had suddenly become emotional. He did too. But he was able to hide it better, needing to so no one knew about her condition.

Taking some deep breaths outside, the tranquility outside was more peaceful than the morbid atmosphere inside the mansion.

“Hey!”

“What do you want Rhys?”

“Listen, my father and my half brother treat you like absolute shit. You didn’t deserve it. You are one of the most incredible women that I know. You deserve everything. I know Drake will give you that, he’s lucky to have you. As you are him. I know at the beginning he cheated on Kiara with you. He’s not that type, but he knew that you was worth it.”

“I still feel awful about that. I didn’t want to be referred to as a home wrecker.”

“Darling, that so called relationship was a train wreck. You helped Drake realise that he was worth more. I have a confession, and I don’t want anyone knowing- not even Drake. I feel like I can only confide in you....” Riley looked at him with a perplexed expression, not knowing what this confession included. Having to keep something from Drake would be hard, as they had promised to be open with each other.

“I killed my father.”

*****

Drake and Riley arrived back the cabin, Riley was still thinking about those words ‘I killed my father’. There was now two funerals that she was going to have to attend, two funerals in which the deceased was murdered by one of her friends. Feeling that she was to blame for their deaths, it added guilt that would carry on through her mind until she too passed away. Ever since that conversation outside, she had managed to keep a stoic expression in front of Drake, of course she wanted to tell him. It killed her. But she had hoped that once the funeral was out of the way and the press had something else to write about, that the person would inform everyone.

“It’s good to be home.” She said to Drake as they walked through the door.

“I’m glad that you’re referring my home as your home...”

“Wherever you are, that is my home. For however long that may be.”

“Why don’t you go and have a soak in the bath, I’ll order a takeaway and find a movie to watch.”

“Sounds good, don’t choose a horror though...”

“Why not? That’s the only type of film where you snuggle into me.” He winked at her, knowing her preferences he knew what type of film to look for. Watching her walk to the bathroom, he ran to his room- remembering Bastien’s words as well as the outcome of his nightmare, he knew the sooner he asked the longer they would have together if the worse scenario occurred at her hospital appointment.

“Look after your girl, my niece. Have you still got your grandmothers ring?”

“Of course I have. Why?”

“When the times right, make sure you have it on you son.”

Hearing a knock at the door, it was as if the takeaway had a telepathic thought- he had just placed the order and they was there.

“Leo? Linz? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I text Riley five minutes ago- wondering what you guys were up to and she said that you was just watching a film and ordering food. We brought wineee.” Lindsey waved the bottle of wine in front of his face, whilst wearing a big grin. Are you fucking kidding me?

“Erm. I actually wanted some alone time with my girlfriend... no offence.”

“Yeah and you can do once we leave.” Leo said with a smirk as he barged his way through the door. Riley had finished her bath and was shocked that her sister and Leo was there making themselves at home.

“Drake, I didn’t think they’d actually come. I was just being polite. Shit. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry. It was just a takeaway and a movie...” Sighing, he knew that he would have another opportunity to propose- it wasn’t the end of the world.

*****

The day after, Drake woke up before Riley- mainly due to his mind working overtime about how to propose to her. The next match was in two days, tomorrow was her hospital appointment with the results of the tests that were done in New York.

“Hey, what’s up?” Fluttering her eyes open, her vision was blurred but she could tell he was tense.

“Nothing...” laying next to her, he kissed her bare skin delicately- savouring each touch.

“I love you.”

“I love you too...” Just having him lay at the side of her made her feel turned on by every touch that he made. She knew he was too, as she could feel his rising erection grazing against her arse cheeks. Trying to act stubborn, as she always did- she didn’t want to give into temptation. Even though this was extremely hard for her to resist. “You know... it’s rude to point little Walker?”

“He can’t help it. This is what you do to him...”

Moving his hands lower he caressed the outer walls of her already wet folds. “How does it feel baby?”

“So, good.” She barely whimpered. She was desperate to make love to him, even though the hospital had advised that she waited a while. But she knew her body, and would risk it all. “Please, don’t stop Drake.” Turning around to face him, she lift one leg over his- giving him that extra access. He was intoxicating, she craved him at all costs.

“Are you sure?” Nodding, he placed his fingers onto her clit- beginning to move in slow circular motions. With his spare hand he reached up to her breast. Rolling her nipple back and forth between his fingers and tugging on her breast, he thrust up up against her repeatedly as Riley threw her head back- little moans escaping from her lips. Laying her on to her back, he separated her legs as he kissed her inner thighs- before plunging his tongue deep inside of her, the long slow licks made her body tremble instantly. Unable to hold in the orgasms that she was screaming, he made it impossible as he began to use his fingers to help increase her pleasure. One finger was inserted and was soon immediately followed by a second, then a third. His fingers actions begin slow but delved deep- as they curved they knew how to hit that special sensitive spot.

“Dr-Drake... please.... I need you...”

Holding her tightly, he slowly entered her- feeling her walls responding to him with pulsing motions tightening around his shaft. He brought his face down and kissed her deeply, as he looked at her in awe. His lips were soft- his tongue became demanding as he increased his speed gradually. Feeling that familiar rush of happiness building up inside of her every time that they had sex, she was grateful that they took that risk in becoming official- despite her being doubtful to begin with. Their bodies continued to rock in sync, as if they were made for one another. “Drake?”

“Am I hurting you?” Slowing his movements down but keeping at a steady pace, no matter how much he was enjoying it- he didn’t want to hurt her. “No. God. No. I just... you’ve been my rock. Yeah, you was a jerk when I first came here. If I can’t give you what you want in life, I want you to find it somewhere else.” Fuck Riley, just think positive. Slamming into her hard, he didn’t mean to- kissing her gently, he would be lost without her in his life. He didn’t know how he would cope. “I’ve already got what I want in life. A beautiful, gorgeous strong woman- who loves me for being me.” Continuing his movements, he wanted to blurt out those four words- but it was an inappropriate time. “You are my world, I am grateful to have found you. Until you, I didn’t understand the meaning of love. This here, is OUR home. Just the two of us. You’re my family. Any last words to say? Because this man is dying to cum, and you’re distracting me...”

“You and I. Sorry, I love you... thank you again for being my rock...” Drake kissed her softly on the lips, believing that he shouldn’t take all the glory- she too had been his rock. Saving him from a loveless relationship. In the back of his mind, he had wished that Bastien had of made more of an effort with introducing them to the Brooks throughout the past, rather than the odd occasion. Maybe he would have been the one to propose to her back then, it would have saved them both from this heartache. Closing her eyes, her final orgasm shuddered throughout her body- sending waves of pleasure. Feeling his body tense, she felt his cock slam deep into her one last time as he spilled his warm load inside. Both their breathing was hard- in unison, pulling out of her he fell onto the soft mattress next to her. Laying her head onto his chest, his breaths were coming in slight gasps as sweat ran off his forehead. Looking at her, he smiled. Happy that she was in his arms.

“Are you okay?” He asked as he played with her newly formed disheveled hair.

“Yes, thank you for being you.” Will you marry me... marry me... I love you please marry me.. I can’t do it without the ring. Damn she’s like superglued to me. I could ask her, then get out of bed for the ring. No, she deserves a decent proposal- she’s worth so much more than a shit one. Fuck, I just want to marry this girl- make her officially mine.

“Ri.... I want to ask you something...Will you....”

“Will I?”

“Will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?” Phew, thank god for Meatloaf.

“You’re a good singer, but you’ve definitely killed that song... yes I’ll love you forever; I need you all the time, I’m never leaving you, I hope to make you happy for the rest of your life.”

“It’s been stuck in my head for a few days...you can’t beat a bit of Meatloaf. I love you, baby. Fancy a walk?”

“I prefer riding...”

“I don’t think you should be riding a horse, it was risky having sex...”

“I meant riding your cock.” Rolling on to him, she smirked seductively at him as he shook his head. Biting her lip, she knew it turned him on immediately- and she soon felt him confirming this fact, feeling his cock rise once again in such a short time. “Any pain or injury inflicted is totally my fault, Mr Walker. I’ll take all the blame....”

*****

Arriving at the hospital, it was the day for the results. They had both decided to get a taxi, and wear disguises to hide from the press. Waiting nervously in the waiting room, she had an inkling about the results- she knew that due to her discussion with the nurse in New York.

“Miss Brooks?” Drake held her hand tightly, promising to never let go and to be with her through ever step. The consultant gestured for the two of them to sit down- her heart began to beat incredibly fast, almost feeling like it was about to jump out of her chest. Drake rubbed her leg as he noticed it shaking, placing his other arm around her waist.

“Miss Brooks, we have your results back from the tests that were completed in New York... I am so sorry.....”

Riley closed her eyes, feeling like her world had come crashing down in an instant. Feeling Drake hold on to her tightly, her mind wasn’t functioning as she overheard Drake and the consultants conversation echo.

It is indeed, cervical cancer...

Did you catch it early enough?

Cervical, I can’t have children. I can’t give Drake what he wants. It doesn’t matter if it was caught early or not.

Yes, it’s in the early stages. There are many routes to go from here...

Can we keep this information quiet from the press. We haven’t told our families about it yet. Can I pay for her to go private with the best specialist- wherever that may be?

Riley slowly opened her eyes, there was only one thing on her mind.

“I can’t have children...” The words just slipped out of her mouth, she wasn’t wanting to elaborate on the treatment options- that didn’t matter to her.

“Miss Brooks, it is unlikely that you will be able to conceive... however...”

“However?” Drake asked, having that bit slight of hope that there could be a possibility of them having a family in the future.

“There are many different routes. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy will affect the womb- meaning that it would be impossible to be become pregnant, and it could cause early menopause. If you chose this route, there is an option to freeze your eggs to provide for a surrogate. Or you could use a surrogate, or adopt?”

“That wouldn’t be my baby. I wouldn’t be able carry it- to have moments such as feeling it kick for the first time. Drake wouldn’t feel his baby kick in me. It’s not the same...” Seeing Riley’s bottom lip tremble, the consultant stood up and knelt down by Riley’s side providing her with a box of tissues.

“Those aren’t the only routes. There are other treatment plans in which you will be able to conceive naturally. A biopsy known as LLETZ, is where we remove the tissue. Depending on how much of a sample is removed could cause the pregnancy to have risks such as a premature birth. There is also another treatment known as radical trachelectomy. Again, there are risks such as premature birth or possible miscarriage- the baby would usually have to be born via a c-section.”

“See baby, there are options.” Riley looked at Drake who smiled at her, with hope in his eyes.

“The last option... what does that include?” The consultant informed them that she would need to have a procedure under general anaesthetic and stay in hospital for a few days. The press are going to have a field day, great.

“I’ll provide you with all the leaflets with advise on every treatment. Take it home, read through it together- once you have made a decision ring my secretary and we can start the ball rolling.”

*****

It was match day, Drake couldn’t concentrate. Over the last few days, he had plenty of opportunities to propose, but they had been disturbed or he had chickened out. Shaking, he really didn’t want to play- he knew his mind would be on Riley’s results that she had received the previous day. Noticing Drake not being his usual self, Riley sat next to him, in the dressing room- he had kept her secret from everyone because he respected her wishes. But it was killing him. He knew they both needed support from their family and friends to get through it.

“Come on Walker, where’s that infamous cocky smirk? Make me proud baby. Before I potentially die I want to see you outshine the Rhys’s.” Winking at him, he gave her a stern look. “What?” She asked innocently, not knowing what the issue was.

“Don’t talk like that Ri, we’ve already agreed that you aren’t going anywhere.”

“Not yet....We need to make lots of memories together. Go on, get on the pitch. Score a goal- I’ll give you a kiss. Score a brace- I’ll give you handjob. Score a hat-trick - I’ll give you a blowjob.”

“What if I don’t score Miss Brooks?”

“Then.... you’ll get nothing at all. I’m joking. I’ll give you all three, because I’m a number one girlfriend. Break a leg, not literally though! I love you, Drake.”

“I love you too Riley, more than you’ll ever know.” Carry on making me proud, she whispered in his ear- this positivity from her made him want to work hard on the pitch. Knowing that she was acting strong, she needed him to do the same.

*****

Welcome to the first match of the month on this bright sunny day in Cordonia. With the sad news regarding the chairman Mr Rhys as well as the teams manager Mr Lopez, prior to the match there will be a two minute silence.

I am positive that the Rhys brothers will be determined to win on behalf of their brother and father that they have lost recently.

I’m not even sure that they are too bothered regarding the sudden deaths. Neither Liam nor Leo have made a statement regarding them, and have kept themselves out of the spotlight. We're ten minutes away from kick-off and the stadium is filling up nicely.

“What’s up with you, Walker?” Leo noticed that Drake was in a trance. “Don’t tell me that you’re nervous?”

“Like fuck I am. I’ll run circles around you captain.”

“You can talk to me you know. If something’s on your mind. We all have secrets.”

“It’s fine, Leo. I just want to get this match done- then celebrate the win with my beautiful girl.” Patting him on the shoulder, he was pleased that Drake had finally found happiness.

And we’re off. Leo Rhys is always usually on everybody's radar. I know that other top clubs are interested in stealing him. He moves the ball around well, he's got a little bit of aggression as well as he passes his opponents.

Leo Rhys passes the ball to Liam Rhys- he shoots. Ahh. It's a wonderful save but also a wonderful play from the Apples.

There's nothing that the keeper can do about this one as Walker spins around on the edge of the penalty area before dispatching a powerful, low finish into the net. It came after another flowing move with Leo Rhys providing the assist. The Apples take a well deserved lead.

Leo ran up to Drake congratulating him as the rest of the players did. Riley and Bastien stood up cheering.

Isn’t that sweet, Riley Brooks blowing her boyfriend a kiss. It is unknown as to why she isn’t working today, maybe she is poorly?

I didn’t notice- if he carries on playing the way he has done in this short amount of time, he will deserve more than that. If there is anything up with the physio- I hope she makes a speedy recovery.

This is already turning into a nightmare for the away side, the Rhys’ and Walker are all over the opposition. Is Walker about to score a brace? Yes he is! Doubling his side's lead- he’s on fire today! This time it was Liam Rhys who assisted the goal. Apples 2-0.

We are nearly at half time, the away side have been poor. They’ve had one shot- their defending is terrible today. One minute left, before the half time whistle. Can they increase their lead.... oh... yes. I think they are... Leo and Liam Rhys are passing the ball, they see Walker. Is it a ... HE SCORES! Hat-trick for Walker. What a first half, the crowds cheers are echoing throughout the stadium. Maybe the away side should give up now? And that’s it. Half time.

The team headed towards the tunnels, Riley ran up to Drake before he entered- catching her, their lips crashed onto each other’s in a deep passionate kiss.

“I’m so fucking proud of you, right now.”

“Well I did get bribed... it’s team work. I can’t wait to get you home and celebrate with you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Mr ‘hat-trick’ Walker.”

*****

Second half is about to start, I believe that this has been an easy three points- I can’t see the away team coming back from this.

No, neither can I. We are two minutes in, and the Rhys’ have had a few opportunities already.

The losing team have just won their first corner. The game is 75 minutes in.

Not knowing why, Drake glanced towards the dugout- hoping to see Riley continue smiling at him, knowing that he was making her proud. Instead, he saw her run through the tunnel, holding onto her stomach. Fuck.

As if the Apples need anymore drama within the club- it looks as though Walker is arguing with his manager.

It’s such a shame that such a good match has come to this- I wonder what the argument is about? Walker has played well, but I’ve seen that he hasn’t been on the ball this half- get it?

Good pun- yes, even though he’s scored a hat trick his eyes have been scrutinising elsewhere around the stadium.

“Get back on the pitch, Walker!” Bertrand snapped towards Drake, he hated being stern towards him as he was his brother in law- but for some reason he was jeopardising the game.

“No!”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me Bertrand. Riley’s not well.... I saw her run off...she needs me.”

“She’s probably just being sick. This match is important... is she pregnant?”

“No! And Riley is more important to me than a stupid match....”

“Tell me what’s up with her, then we can determine what is more important!” She’s got cancer you fucking moron.

“Just take me off, I’ve done enough in this match....” Bertrand grabbed Drake by the collar- his grip was tight, not knowing what had got into him- he witnessed the team walk over attempting to calm the situation down.

“Get the fuck off of me Bertrand! I quit!”

“Walker! Back on the pitch now!”

“Fuck you!” Bertrand panicked, not knowing what to do or say. They had just signed an eighteen year old from Madrid, giving the kid an opportunity to play and replace Drake was his only option.

*****

“Ri?” Hearing his voice, and studs storm through the toilet door- she wondered why and how he was there. “Are you okay? I saw you run off.”

“Yeah, I just had a bit of stomach ache. Shouldn’t you be on the pitch?” Rubbing her stomach, he hoped that this slight gesture would take away a bit of pain.

“I’ve quit.”

“What?”

“Bertrand told me to get back on the pitch, but you mean so much more to me. I can quit now and live happily ever after. With you. Wherever you want to go.”

“You’ve quit?” Not quite believing what he had said, she needed to confirm that she had heard him correctly.

“I said it in anger, but honestly- I’m getting old anyway..”

“You’re in your twenties. You’re fit..” Removing his top, he smirked at her as flexed his pecs in a confident manner.

“I know I am, that’s why you love me.”

“I meant ‘fit’ as in healthy.. Drake you can’t quit, because of me...what are you going to do if this treatment doesn’t work- and I become ill. You’ll have nothing.”

“As long as I have you, I don’t care what I do with my life. Let’s get out of here, go home. You have cancer and you are going to fight it....” Kissing her on her forehead, he held her tightly- knowing that the two of them were going to get through this together.

“You have cancer?” Breaking away from Drake’s embrace, she turned to the direction of the voice- seeing the door shut she believed that they were alone as did Drake. Fuck.

#trr #trr fanfic #trr au cordonian wags #drake x riley #drake x mc #drake walker #riley brooks #liam rhys #leo rhys #trr bastien

[cheriesjubiles]

please don’t look under the read more i’m just testing

Can you imagine a world where we're all represented by a font? Huh, I wonder which one I would be? sees Arial Too straight. No! Not in that way! Just, straight, as in unexciting. sees Badaboom Too.. uh... Deadpool.... BROADWAY! Now that's the one! Now THAT'S the one! Hello Internet, welcome to GAME THEORY, where instead of putting a joke here I want to ask you a question. If your personality were represented by a font, what font would you be? Take a moment and put your font in the comments. I'm really curious to see what everyone has to say. Maybe find a couple new cool fonts to use. I'm getting bored with ol' Calibri 11. And with that out of the way, it's time to talk UNDERTALE. Now I don't think I've ever gotten this many requests to cover a game. Well, except for FNAF. And I suppose FNAF 2. OH and there was FNAF 3. Wait a minute, should I be worried about something here? Anyway, across the board on YouTube, Reddit, and Twitter, you all have wanted Undertale. And honestly, I'm glad you brought it to my attention. True loyal theorists will know that Earthbound is my favorite game of all time. So a self aware RPG in a similar style, WHOA MAN, it's like a gift from the indie gaming heavens. Undertale is a game where every character, from goat mom to grind fodder has a sympathetic design and a unique personality, motivations, goals, fears. Whether you're saving or slaughtering them, the game makes you feel something every time you enter an encounter. But to me, one character stood out amongst all the rest. SANS. A skeleton named after the font, Comic Sans, hence all the font references at the beginning of the episode. If you haven't played Undertale I'm sure that was a really weird opening. ANYWAYS, Sans is, well, there's a lot of mystery around this guy. And before we get into it, let me put up a very special spoiler warning: UNDERTALE is a game best experienced blind. So if you haven't played it, pause the video and come back after you've finished. I PROMISE YOU, I PROMISE you won't regret it. Alright, so everyone out of the pool and ready for the adult swim? Good. Because I'm feeling pretty determined to get to the bottom of Sans' mystery. So just to recap for those of you who haven't played the game and ignored the SPOILER WARNING, or just need a refresher, Sans is one of the two skeletal brothers who appears in the game. His partner is Papyrus, a loud, goofy trap lover also named after a font. But in the world of Undertale their origins are a big question mark. All you really know is what's given to us by a shopkeeper in Snowdin, who explains that Sans and Papyrus, quote, “just showed up one day and asserted themselves.” Weird, right? What's more is that, well, Papyrus is just kinda the goofy sidekick. Sans is much more complex. He likes fart jokes, but he's also incredibly powerful and deadly serious. Not only is his boss battle the hardest in the game, he's one of the only characters who has knowledge and power over space and time. He can take shortcuts around the world through ridiculous routes. Even is walking through walls. He also acknowledges that he's only one of infinite versions of himself, making self-aware commentary of the various timelines that you've played through in the game. He can even count the number of times he's killed you. He acts like an arbiter of this world, passing out judgements on the player's actions in the game, even explaining the secrets of EXP and LOVE, or EXECUTION POINTS and LEVELS OF VIOLENCE, just to clarify. In short, he just doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the world of monsters. But then, what, or who, is he? Well, the idea that he doesn't belong in underworld seems to be correct. The evidence seems to point the fact that he WAS, in fact, formerly a surface dweller. In the true pacifist ending of the game, as the group looks out onto the horizon, Papyrus asks Sans about the giant ball in the sky. Sans says, quote, “we call that the sun.”

This is important because A, the usage of the word WE, and knowledge of the sun shows that Sans has a kinship or knowledge with other humans, and B, that despite he and Papyrus both being skeletons, or, supposedly, brothers, and apparently appeared in underworld at the same time, they clearly-- uuuGGHH take two CLEARLY have two very different histories. Why would Papyrus not know the name of the sun but Sans would? We get further clues to Sans' origins as we hear him say multiple times he wants to "go home" or "go back." He says as much during his dinner date scene at the Mettaton hotel. He notices that the player wants to go home and says, quote, "i know the feeling." He then continues, "maybe sometimes it's better to take what's given to you." As though he ended up in the underworld by accident. AND in a genocide run during his boss fight he says, quote, "look, i gave up trying to go back a long time ago." End quote. And before you say he means going back to the surface world, that's clearly not the full story. His very next line of dialogue is, "and getting to the surface doesn't really appeal anymore either." Key word here, is EITHER. Yes, he seems to hail from the surface and wants to go back, but based on his dialogue he no longer considers it his home. It's as though the surface world he once knew is gone, as though he's from a different time. It's pretty intriguing. So we're left with a being that appeared out of nowhere, presumably from being from the human surface, but from a different time period, who seemingly has the power to teleport. That's a lot of questions and not a lot of answers. But here's where things get REALLY interesting. Sans has a hidden workshop that takes a fair amount of searching to find. You could say it takes a lot of DETERMINATION to unlock. Anyways, obligatory determination references aside, as you start to look for this easter egg Sans gives you a key to his room and says "it's time you learn the truth." After some searching you find the workshop which contains items that leave even more questions. A photo album featuring Sans and a bunch of smiling people you don't recognize, a badge, blueprints with illegible handwriting, and a broken machine hidden behind a curtain. In the latest update, one more detail was added. A handdrawn picture of 3 smiling faces with the words “don't forget.” so what does it all mean? Well a lot of Undertale theorists have been linking these details to a feature to a character named W.D Gaster. A ghostly character who never truly appears in the game. Honestly, covering him is a theory all unto itself, and probably one best saved for another day. Even still, none of the Gaster theories I've seen have been able to explain all the details. In particular, the photo album, and the badge. And that's what kept nagging me as I researched Undertale. A badge? That one in particular really stuck out to me. Why would such an oddly specific item to be hidden in the huge easter egg of a room? Something that supposedly reveals the truth about Sans? Badges just aren't important in Undertale. Then it hit me. What if this badge isn't from Undertale? What if this badge is from a completely different game? And was, in fact, the most important badge in the history of gaming? The Franklin badge. Now, for those of you wondering what I'm talking about, the Franklin badge is a pivotal item from the Mother series. You know, the one with Earthbound. Or, maybe you don't know that one either. Uh, you know, the one with Ness from Super Smash Bros? Yeah well, Ness is from Earthbound, and Earthbound is the second part in this larger Mother trilogy. Alright? Good. Anyway, the Franklin badge is a really important part of that series. It gets its start in the very first game and carries through the whole trilogy, saving your life multiple times in the process. It's SO important that nintendo has made it a staple item in the Smash Brothers series. So I asked myself; what if the badge in Sans' drawer was THAT EXACT badge?

Well first off, it made Undertale connected to my favorite game, thereby making it even COOLER, but that's still a pretty big logical leap. I needed more. Let me tell you, as I started looking, more and more pieces started to fit into place. At the end of Earthbound you're given a photo album, covering your adventures throughout the game. To me it's one of the best, most satisfying endings in gaming to look back on your journey in picture form. And what does Sans happen to have in his other drawer? A photo album with pictures of Sans with people you don't recognize. Of course you don't know them, they're not characters present in Undertale. And note the word that's used here, PEOPLE you don't recognize. Not underworld monsters. So that's 2 items oddly linked to the Mother series. But then, how do the blueprints and broken machine fit in? Well, in the final stretch of Earthbound, Ness and his 3 friends must travel to the past in order to have their final battle against the evil alien Giygas. To do that, Dr. Andonuts (remember him, by the way, he's going to be important later) with the help of the science geniuses Apple Kid and Mr. Saturn, create what's known as the Phase Distorter, a machine that allows people to travel through time and space. Except, it comes with a cost. It can't transport organic material. As a result, the young heroes must put their souls into robotic bodies to use the machine, and thus, save the world. I played this game back in 1997 and I'm not ashamed to admit that when I first saw this scene, I cried. It's DEVASTATING. Doctor Andonuts says goodbye to his son, these characters you've grown to love and care about are suddenly promising to sacrifice their lives. For all they know, there is no possibility of them being able to come back home. It's this incredibly dark departure in the final moments of what was otherwise a fun, quirky, and colorful RPG. So what does all of this have to do with Undertale? A LOT, actually. But the first thing you need to know is that Mr. Saturns are known for their, let's say, unique linguistic style. That would explain the illegible handwriting on the blueprints. And the machine? I think a broken Phase Distorter is behind that curtain. Now that may seem like a stretch, but it actually explains a lot. If Sans wound up in Undertale via Phase Distorter, it could provide a reason for why he's a skeleton. He used the machine as organic matter and suffered the consequences. Not killing him, but turning at least a part of him into a pile of bones. That could also explain why Sans has given up hope for going home. Remember the Phase Distorter is a time machine. By being in underworld, he's not only in a different place, but based on how he talks, he's also in a different time, with no hope of travelling back to the time he came from. But the crossovers between Earthbound and Undertale continue. When you speak to Apple Kid at the end of Earthbound, he's blown away by the astronomical odds of Ness overcoming Giygas, saying that he's going to continue studying the trait called courage, in order to harness its power. Seems awfully similar to the same experiments happening in Undertale around the trait of determination, no? Especially since so much has shown that Sans was a key player in those experiments. But I'm sure you also want physical evidence right? Well don't worry, because I have plenty. During one of the endings of Undertale, we see Undyne and Alphys hanging out on the beach on the surface world. A beach that bears a lot of similarities to the tropical resort location named Summers that you play through in Earthbound. In fact, the geographic layout of the surface bears some striking similarities to the world of Mother. When Undertale's crew of monsters are finally able to reach the surface and look out over the earth, they're met with a beautiful sunset falling across the landscape of a tall mountain, a large city, and a sandy area adjacent to water. Notice the sun's reflection to indicate water, and a lack of trees in this middle section here, hence the sand.

Well, in Earthbound you have the big city of Fourside, complete with skyscrapers, which you reach via a desert that just so happens to be adjacent to some water, and to the east, the mountain in Onett where a meteorite lands on Earth. I always called it Aw-nett. But if that's not clear enough for you, Mother 1, Earthbound Zero, Earthbound Beginnings, whatever you want to call it, it's had a lot of names, had a map laying out the same geographic landscape. A tall mountain to the east of a large city, separated by a desert, with all of it up against a coast. I don't know about you, but to me it seems like there's a definite connection between the world of Eagleland (Eagleland? Again, unclear how its pronounced.) between the world of Eagleland and the surface world of Undertale. But the strongest physical connection, one that definitely unites these two franchises, comes from none other than Papyrus himself. He wears a custom-made costume known as his “battle body”. But if you look really closely at the design on the armor, you'll notice some markings on the chest. Is it just a throwaway detail? Ohoh NO, that right there is an exact match to the ones that appear on the chests of Starmen, the most iconic enemy of Earthbound. And look at the way he stands! I always thought it was awkward until i saw the two characters side by side. Papyrus’ curved arm and hand is a DIRECT match to the curved arms of the Starmen in the Mother series! In short, we have some incredibly strong proof that the Earthbound universe is somehow connected to the Undertale world, which brings us back to our initial question, WHO IS SANS? Well, what if we took it one final step and said that Sans happened to be Ness from Earthbound? Sent through the Phase Distorter during a test of courage, carrying the Franklin badge and his photo album and his trusty backpack. Not only do all the items in the workshop suddenly fit, but so does Sans’ behavior. Remember, Sans can seemingly teleport. And Ness just happens to have the PSI ability to teleport. Now look the way Sans always stands, hands in his pockets, directly facing the camera. It's a very similar stance to how Ness is depicted standing in most marketing for the game. It even explains why Sans bleeds when you finally hit him. He is, or at least, WAS, a human. Oh and finally, Sans is only one letter removed from being an anagram of Ness. That's just a fun one. I thought it was worth mentioning. But if there was any doubt, we have to look no further than the creator's previous work. Toby Fox, the man behind Undertale, had previously worked on a Halloween hack for Earthbound. But this just wasn't a simple reskin. The Halloween hack tells the tale of Dr. Andonuts after the events of Earthbound. Remember, I pointed him out? He's the one who made the Phase Distorter. In Toby Fox’s version of the story, we see that after Giygas' defeat, the souls of the kids never return home. Instead, by going to the past to defeat Giygas, they create a new timeline that they're stuck in. As a result, Jeff never reunites with his father Dr. Andonuts. And Dr. Andonuts goes crazy with guilt, because HE’S the one responsible for creating the time machine, and extracting the souls of his son and his son's friends to send them back to what he assumes was their death. In his mind, he's killed 4 kids. And in Toby Fox's game, he's lost his mind trying to deal with that guilt. I'm telling you, this hack is DARK. that said, you see a lot of Undertale in this game. The appearance of Amalgamates, the first use of the awesome song Megalovania, the prototypes for Flowey? And the theme of having the choice to be nonviolent in an RPG, SPARING your enemies. But then why's all this matter to the theory? Well, remember, in Toby Fox's version of the story, the kids don't come back. They're stuck in the past, with no hopes of getting home. Just like Sans. And, in the hack, one character is oddly missing, with no explanation as to why. NESS. Presumably in this timeline his soul is in a different place than his 3 friends.

In short, Undertale is a continuation of Toby’s version of Earthbound, with Ness never being able to get home, adopting the name Sans, and accompanied by Papyrus, a former Starman, an alien force able to speak English and still equipped with his armor, and signature posture, but without any knowledge of earthly things... like the Sun. The pieces all just seem to fit. Now all we need is an appearance from Pokey/Porky and we’ve got ourselves a true sequel. But hey, that's just a theory. A GAME THEORY! THANKS FOR WATCHING!

#it’s the sans is ness game theory video copypasta

[yououghtaknow]

5, 29 and 30? Also, I read all four seasons of Skam Brighton over quarantine and it was fantastic! The changed storylines were so refreshing and I’m so excited for season 5 💛

hi!!!!! thank you so much for asking and thank you so much for reading <3.

29. which version (og + adapts) does yours most closely resemble?

hmm. well i would say skam austin, definitely, as a western english speaking remake. also with the dance team/theatre club vibes and the music aspect. also skam españa, definitely, with the centring of the girls' stories and just the beautiful friendship tone of it all, which is what i really wanted to get across. also some druck in there, with the realism and fixing the trans wrongs they did. and alistair fletcher has the drama of skam france, just as a character. what do these remakes all have in common? canon wlw. which was the main thing i wanted to write in this remake. skambr has 11 canon named wlw characters who have all played major-to-minor roles in the plot of each season, with 5 of them being members of the girl squad and three of them being mains and having wildly different experiences with their attraction to women because you can’t sum up the lgbt experience with just one person.

30. free choice! just give us some fun facts about it!

fun fact: i have never physically been in brighton. i would like to be one day, but i will most likely not get there before the series finishes.

second fun fact: i was originally planning to write a skam remake set in derry, northern ireland before i wrote skam brighton. that idea has morphed into something else that i plan to write, but it is a fun fact!!

and now. the big one.

5. what are some iconic soundtrack moments?

here we go lads, seasons 3 and 4, like promised.

season three

tw for discussion of mental illness and suicide, drug abuse and violence throughout.

trailer

WE START OFF!!!! WITH A BANGER!!! "tainted love" by soft cell. it’s an iconic 80s banger that we all know and love, about a toxic relationship, and we see a type of favourite character that is niche to me (the guy with perfectionism/parental issues who did some fucked up stuff in a piece of media who not a lot of people like). it’s jake baby. it’s about him living his life and being like “i feel like i have to run away from all of this” (a sentiment which shall be echoed later on). and jake with all of his different masks…….. i was ahead of my time.

episode one

we open with “say amen (saturday night)” by panic! at the disco which is. kind of yikes now, but the song does have the vibes i desired for the opening scene. a party-esque banger. lyrics like “i pray for the wicked on the weekend / mama, can i get another amen?” for the catholic imagery and mommy issues. also panic! is known throughout history to be an lgbt band. 

then we get “get out of my head” by redlight”, just for the mental illness of it all. also it has been said that i do love a good party song with deeply depressing lyrics about the main playing in the background <3. 

and then we get me ripping off druck with “idontwannabeyouanymore” by the theorist playing because i just wanted to use a piano cover of the song because silence with just instrumental is just very dynamic and mentally ill. 

and then we meet eleanor with “insane” by sonny fodera and biscits, which is basically just the lyrics “girl you make me go insane” because. well. you hate to see it folks, but we gotta foreshadow the internalised ableism and the hating one woman as a treat.

and to close off a very music filled first clip, we got “drive” by halsey, a staple of tumblr culture back in the day because it is just like “all we do is think about the feelings that we hide”. literally when you are gay and alone and are just so desperate for someone to see you but also so deeply afraid of it because that means change coming <3 

AND THEN!!!! we meet the love of my life ms christine love as she hums “express yourself” by madonna as she cleans the house. i wanted to give christine a lot of 80s music in her scenes, to show that she’s living in the past in regards to jake’s dad. also it’s just a good song, “you gotta make him express how he feels” is me writing any of the characters having dialogue.

AND THEN BABY!!!!!!!!!!! we get a moment i love so deeply. “mama who bore me/reprise” by the sweet signatures. an all female acapella cover of the iconic spring awakening song. this song has everything - heavy metaphor about sex, wanting your mum to tell you shit, catholic imagery, teen angst, amazing belting. we get the slow part as jake is alone and just trying to work out how to help his mum, and then get the ANGRY BANGER as jake goes out to play with his dogs to get his frustrations out, because at the end of the say, all of these characters are still kids <3

then we get “young (club mix) by jaded because i just wanted kind of boring straight party music for the bryan and rory scene. 

BECAUSE THEN LGBT COMMUNITY!!!!! we get jake’s dramatic walk down the hallway as “somebody to love” by queen plays. it’s about the catholicism, it’s about the being gay, it’s about the being so fucking lonely and just wanting somebody!!!!! also the parallel between jake’s lonely scene with “somebody” playing and liz’s crowded scene with “nobody” playing…. it’s about mentally ill people being different but also the same <3

AND. NOW. THE MOMENT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. we meet Him. the most valid theatre kid rep in the world. mr alistair thomas fletcher, who enters our lives singing “shallow” from a star is born under his breath as he washing his hands. once again, i’m ahead of my time. but also the first lines al sings are, metaphorically, him talking to jake. like “aren’t you tried trying to fill that void / or do you need more”. and then we begin a piece of foreshadowing most pleasing to me. alistair in season 3 and the recurring motif of falling, which will climax at the end of episode 10. also foreshadowing of his experiences with bipolar disorder with “in all the good times i find myself longing for change / and in the bad times i fear myself”. and we also begin the motif of jake interrupting al’s singing. 

(you may be thinking, isaac tumblr user nickhealy, you’re putting a lot of thought into this. that’s because out of all of the characters, al’s the one who never really expresses himself with his words or actions - he usually expresses himself primarily through music, which is a very fun and autistic thing of me to write.)

(also, the og episode 1 bench scene did make me feel very. not good as a gay trans guy, with all the talk of penises and such. it’s just very sexy of me to change it to al talking loudly about ballet and elton john. and then we get jake up on the balcony and al down yelling up at him. because i have literally never referenced anything subtly in my life)

and we end with “how does it feel” by m-22. like: “how does it feel when your walls fall down /  how does it feel when you're lost and found / how does it feel / it's the sweetest sound”. like it’s about jake meeting al, king of not being Good At Social, fletcher, and instantly being like “yes, husband material, thank you”.

episode two

(yes, this episode is titled after the gay hsm song. yes i’m a genius)

we open, as all good things do, with a fun homoerotic punk song with catholic imagery “east jesus nowhere” by green day. it’s just jake being like “i am Trying to find the instagram of a cute guy outside of church, love being a sinner”.

and now we see the beginnings of Sad Boy Jake, with “it’s ok, i wouldn’t remember me either” by crywank. we got “i am looking for an easy place / to mask my thoughts behind my face” and “i can hide from friends but i cannot hide from you” because he’s gay and he has depression. 

AND THEN!!!! we get “i like you” by dandelion hands playing as he comments supportive things on the youtube video of al….. literally jacob love will see a pretty boy one time and be like “last time i had you i should have kissed you”. also his alternate name being jack valentine…. valentine and love ugh my brain is so big

AND THEN!!!!!!! slow mo time, with “bite” by troye sivan…… a gay classic, if i do say so. like it’s about jake seeing al casually walk past, being all prententious and out, and jake’s just like “please set me free and let me walk beside you” because of the gay experience of simutaneously wanting to be a person and kiss them.

and then we get “the daisy chain” by the growlers. “feeling pressure on every side” and “tired of waiting to be explained / weakest link in the daisy chain”. it’s just the vibes babe.

AND THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! a brilliant moment in my bare a pop opera stanning career - we get jake watching a bootleg of bare 2004 as “role of a lifetime” from the show plays. literally one of the most gorgeous songs ever written, sung by matt doyle. like everything is an act when you’re pleasing everyone - which could be the tagline of skam brighton as a whole. also jake watching “see me” and beginning to tear up because he’s afraid to come out to his mother and get the same negative reaction….. and him watching “cross” and sobbing because he relates to jason so much and feels like he would also be better off dead than gay….. 

BUT AFTER THAT!!! we smash cut to al as jeremy in be more chill, singing the beginning of “more than survive”. absolute king shit!!!!! also, i don’t remember if it’s mentioned in canon, but eleanor is the person who plays the squip in this production of bmc, because i am not!! subtle!! with!! my!! metaphors!! 

and we return to sad boy jacob with “swear to god the devil made me do it” by the front bottoms, chosen because references to the devil and mommy issues <3

AND THEN!!!! A MOMENT OF GREAT FORESHADOWING!!! we get mister alistair fletcher practising alone in a theatre because he is dramatic, and jake walking in as he sings “broadway here i come” from smash. we got references to saints, we got hints at al’s anxiety, we got the falling motif coming back in a song explicitly about jumping off of a building, that also doubles as a song about wanting to do theatre….. also, al plays the last note wrong as a metaphor for al’s plan of suicide going well until the very end, where he ends up alive and goes home.

(side note, we also got the football team’s jackets and signature colours being black and white (straight pride flag colours babey) and then we see al in bright yellow. it also represents jake’s depression and al’s mania, the everything and the nothing of it all.)

AND THEN!!!! we get manic (in the most literal sense of the word) pixie dream boy al asking jake to dance with him to “movement” by hozier because. it’s literally just such a beautiful song. and jake is just watching al dance like “hm. no thoughts head empty just pretty boy”. also the scene itself is a reference to wicked, with jake doing an awkward and stilted dance and al taking it and turning it into something graceful (the glinda and elphie scene in dancing through life)

and then we get the return of blue neighbourhood with “youth” by troye sivan playing over a smoking montage with the boys, because they’re young, they’re gay, they’re vibing

AND THEN!!!! we get “talk” by hozier playing as the episode ends - a song that of course references orpheus and eurydice, as al also did in this clip with hadestown. it also plays over ellie talking because jake is just Ignoring her to pay attention to al. also the inherent homoeroticism of making eye contact while hozier plays

episode three

we open with “highway to hell” by ac/dc over a fun football montage of jake both playing the game and getting bored and checking out guys. it’s about the thinking he’s gonna go to hell for doing it but he literally Cannot Stop

AND THEN!!!!!! a moment. we get a performance of some of “all you wanna do” from six by al and ellie and their theatre kid friends as they rehearse for something at lunch and jake, bryan and rory watch them. ellie’s doing the whole flirty k howard thing, and not actually getting into the real feeling of the song, and the guy she’s dancing with it awkward as all fuck because he’s her cousin. so we get al stepping in and fucking going the fuck off. and we see how good of an actor al really is in this scene, as he’s legit scary. we also see ellie clearly having feelings towards al and him just being like “yep good acting! moving on!!!” because no thoughts just dance. also bryan and rory not understanding that the song is about assault and jake being genuinely concerned….. and then al and ellie’s kiss at the end as ellie “dies”..... god the real reason this show isn’t made is because i would be too powerful if i could make everyone see my theatre kid mischief.

AND ANOTHER MOMENT!!!! we get “like a prayer” by madonna playing as jake is living his life and taking some “am i gay” quizzes - the questions of which are comprised of actual am i gay quizzes i took to make the scene as legit as possible, and as a gay trans person. Did Not Like. Would Not Recommend. also jake admitting he’s gay to the quiz because he’s pissed about the concept of misgendering al….. also jake forcing himself to pick the straight options even though it’s emotionally hurting him…. and then we hear christine singing in the hallway “everyone must stand alone” because it’s jake pov at the time…..

AND SMASH CUT TO!!! fall out boy’s cover of “i wanna dance with somebody”, because at the last very gay house party “i wanna dance with somebody” played and i love a good parallel

AND THEN!!!!!! literally the hottest of all hot boy summer things, we get al and esther doing some karaoke at the house party with “don’t you want me” by the human league. (which, yes, is a glee reference.) THE LITERAL COURAGE OF THIS MAN!!!! alistair fletcher looked a closeted guy, who he has had three (3) interactions with in person, dead in the eye and was like “i know you want me”. as opposed to esther “just be her friend first and then see about anything else” montner and james “I Will Never Speak To You Again If You So Wish” cohen.

and then, because of course i did, we get “bad romance” by lady gaga playing over the next scene with the beginnings of the boy squad because it’s a gay house party and it’s a fucking banger for the ages

(also just the shift from al hot boy summer fletcher to al gay disaster fletcher with him running literally out of the house because he kissed a guy.)

“left handed kisses” by andrew bird and fiona apple plays after jake and al’s deep conversation outside. like jake’s really out here like “i don't believe everything happens for a reason” and “i don't go in for your star-crossed lovers / in the heart of a skeptic / there's a question that still hovers near” because al info dumped about his love for adaptation of romeo and juliet…. (side note, al is definitely an & juliet stan, as everyone should be, stream & juliet <3)

episode four

we open with a song i discovered when i was in a community theatre rip off version of cats, “the show” by lenka. it’s about a song about indecision in the middle of a church before confession, because jake can’t actually confess to the sins he believes to be true. it’s about the “'cause it's too much, yeah it's a lot to be something i'm not”.

And then we fade to “pink + white” by frank ocean (because mlm rights), and just like “you showed me love / glory from above / good glory, dear / it's all downhill from here” is a very al/jake line. also it’s a bop for a little football montage.

AND THEN!!!! on halloween, we get a little montage of jake dancing to “paradise by the dashboard light” by meatloaf as he makes himself a sandwich - it’s literally about just being happy and having a nice time. and also jake dancing to more old timey music because he’s going up to his parents’ old room and he’s also living in the past a little, with his childish snack and playful dancing.

(also, the phone call where al just infodumps about bare and jake’s listening and asking questions <3 it’s about the autistic love and friendship yet again)

and then we get “i’m so tired…” by lauv and troye sivan as we arrive at the very awkward ellie/jake/al pre drink, because Is Jake Not So Tired Of This Heterosexual Bullshit He Must Do.

(also, it is my personal headcanon, and therefore canon, that al convinced ellie to go with the angel and devil costumes so that he could pull up in his leo-as-romeo get up and live out his baz luhrmann esque fantasy).

AND THEN LGBT NATION!!!! we get “run away with me” by ms crj as jake and al literally run away from the party after al got misgendered and Pissed. it’s about the using romance and whimsy as an escapism from your shitty life, it’s about the being the in darkness and occasionally getting hit by the street light, it’s about the “i’ll be your sinner in secret”, it’s about the bare connotation with the “run away with me” parallels. it’s also about the song being one of the best songs ever written.

(and then we get the wedding, which, before i get into the song, is a reference to So Many Things. we got west side story with the fake wedding and first kiss, we got hadestown with al making the wedding rings from nature (a la wedding song), we got bare with wedding bells and the dream wedding, and in the scene, we get some vineyard scene from spring awakening vibes, with the discussion of the future and religion and philosophy…… quite literally i love art so much)

and then. ladies. a piece of writing written in Peak tender tumblr. al and jake have the kiss of their wedding to “pink in the night” by mitski. it’s literally about the “i know i kissed you before but / i didn’t do it right / can i try again?” of it all. like jake love voice “i glow pink in the night in my room / i’ve been blossoming alone over you”. the repression, the pining…………. i am such a talented man.

and then we end with a doctor who reference, with al saying “run”, taking jake’s hand and the two of them running out of the church as “run away with me” comes back in. it’s literally about al taking jake out of his dull life and helping him find his own happiness. it’s also about the inherent autistic culture of relating to aliens.

episode five

WE! OPEN! WITH! a song about being gay and falling in love with someone immediately after meeting them - “share your address” by ben platt. a bop for the ages. it makes me so happy, it’s a great “early stages of a relationship honeymoon stage” montage song.

(also, i just really love the detail i put in about al’s binder, because the cuddle scene with david and matteo in druck did make me worried because david was wearing his binder. like i understand why he wore it for the actor’s comfort but just the thought of sleeping in a binder…… terrible. awful. pain beyond my wildest dreams.)

(also also, al saying he couldn’t get on hormones because of “problems with his heart” is a lie, because he means because of his mental health, which is based on personal experience babey)

and then we get an iconic skam song: “talk show host” by radiohead plays as jake sits in the back of a drama club meeting, isolating himself. it’s literally about the “i want to be someone else or i’ll explode” of it all. 

and then we get “rock and roll” by led zeppelin as jake walks his dogs - just because it seems like the kind of song jake would like and it just vibed with the whole scene.

(also, the clip where jake texts al at the beginning of it and then asks bree about her family….. literally i’m so good at foreshadowing)

AND THEN!!!!! WE GET THE ICONIC!!! “involuntary teenage rebel” by clout from grandma’s closet plays as we get a jake solo slow mo. literally they were right when they said “they say i'm a teenage rebel / but i'm really just afraid of how i come across to others / and it bothers me when i look weak”. like that’s just another skam statement line babey. also it’s genuinely such a good song and literally helped inspire me to do more songwriting…. stream it 

and then we get “heaven” by avicii, chosen purely for the title being “heaven” because christianity centric season.

AND THEN!!!!! we get jake asking al to come save him from the shitty party, and al says “wait for me, i’m coming”, an obvious hadestown reference, and when he arrives, he’s singing the “la la la la la la la”s from the show. it’s because the party - where bryan, rory and ellie are - is, in al’s mind, hell, and he’s going to save jake from it. 

and then, because, as mentioned, the way al express his true feelings is through Music, we get al trying to comfort jake by playing him a song - “you matter to me” from waitress (put a pin in waitress, i’ll get back to it later). the inherent homosexuality in “come out of hiding i’m right here beside you / and i’ll stay there as long as you’ll let me”. also it’s just about mattering to someone. like, for the first time in his life, jake has someone who’s saying “i love you, you matter, i will be here for you” and he just needed that So Much. 

episode six

AND WE SMASH CUT IMMEDIATELY TO!!! “london boy” by taylor swift, a campy and beautiful bop!!!! because al Is from london and he Is a boy!!! (also, fun fact, i was going to make al be from ireland originally, but then someone in the skambr discord said this song should be used in a scene, and i was like “okay, fuck it, london time”)

(also, you can subtly see al’s mania in the london boy scene, with him coming up with quick ideas, clearly having very low anxiety through the past few episodes, and just taking off his shoes and going for a walk in a park in november…..)

and then we get “landslide” by fleetwood mac as jake lies in his dead dad’s bed. it’s really about the “can the child within my heart rise above? / can i sail through the changing ocean tides?” and about the grieving as a child and your mental health getting worse while you’re still so young and you feel like the world’s on your shoulders and you’re both an adult and a child at once……

and then……. we get “class of 2013” by mitski after christine has her breakdown and jake packs his things to run away. it’s about both of them dealing with their grief by pretending it never happened and having all of that build up inside of them until they can’t take it anymore. And i see the lyrics of “mom i’m tired / can i sleep in your house tonight?” in this specific situation as jake being tired of his father’s constant presence and he just wants to be in a house with his mother the way he remembered her before his father died. 

(and, sidenote, this is one of the saddest scenes i’ve ever written, in my opinion…...with jake being like “she’s so crazy, but i’m nothing like her” because he’s in denial of his own mental health issues and al seeing him saying that as “oh, he’ll see that i’m crazy too and want to leave”...... and al says his final goodbye to jake, using his full name, because he assumes jake will never want to speak to him again, but jake has no idea……..)

(also, jake parroting bryan’s words of “gay marriage is legal, so everything is fine” in the pride clip……. God. and the way jake’s internalised homophobia and ableism manifests in the same harmful way….)

and then we get “don’t threaten me with a good time” by panic! At the disco as they boy squad rolls up to the party in the park. it’s just a party song. no deeper meaning lads.

and then we get jake in the bathroom having a little breakdown (as a treat) to “Give me novacaine” by green day. it’s just about the using alcohol and drugs to cope with your poor mental health because you have no other quick way to make it all better. It’s about about jake trying both to numb himself and to force himself to feel something, but neither one of those things give him the results he wants.

episode seven

we open with another iconic and beautiful song: “life in italics” by clout from grandma’s closet babey. like jake love voice “all these troubles on my mind i’ve been lonely / building walls running from the old me”. thank you clout for literally writing some of the best lgbt music. 

AND THEN!!!!!!! a scene that brings me much joy. “gotta go my own way” from high school musical 2 plays in the other room as jake has a religious breakdown in a literal (storage) closet. and then al leaves the group chat and blocks jake…. like jake voice “another colour turns to grey / and it's just too hard to watch it all / slowly fade away”

and then we get “hello!” by role model as jake goes for a depressed jog and he sees bree out drinking with some random people. like “i never really talk much, keep it inside / to find someone who cares is getting harder to find / we should be dancing in the sun / it's hard when everything is numb”.

(also, at the end of that clip, we briefly shift from jake’s pov to al’s, as we see al filming in the park and he films jake running away…… do i know what this means metaphorically? not really. do i vibe hard with it? oh hell yeah)

AND THEN!!!! after jake and sandy have their beautiful conversation, we get “under pressure” by queen and david bowie, another older song, this time expressing jake’s joy as he finds some small solace with his younger self. it’s also just about the inherent homosexuality of the song and of sitting on the beach, eating chips with your best friend.

episode eight

WE BEGIN!!!! with a youtube video of ellie and al singing “wallflower” from we are the tigers. i chose this basically because i wanted to get more of a vibe of what their relationship is/was across, and also because i love the song (stream we are the tigers original off broadway cast recording). it’s also about the dynamic of the song being “shy introvert vs outgoing extrovert being very toxic friends”, and also about the ellie supporting al stuff, because she has canonically been there for him for years, just not in a very good way. also i wanted to write representation for the “had a very intense friendship with a girl pre-transition and then had a dramatic friend break up and now i’m a guy and feel disconnected from the whole thing, although it was quite homoerotic at the time” people. this scene also marked the beginning of my purely self indulgent musical number scenes, and be warned, this may the the first, but it is by no means the last.

and then it’s very music lite for the rest of the episode, until al returns, and jake’s like “hey, maybe you should stop talking to your toxic friend” and al responds by beginning to make out with him as “fuck time” by green day starts to play. the COMEDY of jake being like “seriously, i think--” and then all you hear is “OOH BABY BABY IT’S FUCK TIME”. skam brighton is a comedy show.

and then we get al “communicates through music and theatre references” fletcher beginning to sign the ASL translation of the bridge of “word of your body (reprise)” from spring awakening with jake - which is another Very tragic show - and al also literally says the line “and so you should”. and al responding to jake jokingly calling him insane by shutting him up with another kiss….. oh ladies.

episode nine

WE! OPEN! WITH! “love shack” by the b-52s as jake wakes up and sees james and al just having some Fun making breakfast in the kitchen. it’s just some boys being boys and having bants.

and then we get jake using al’s love language of music and singing “those magic changes” from grease, singing along to the jordan fisher and aaron tveit version because that song did assist in my gay awakening.

(also, al stanning female doctor pomatter in waitress and james stanning waitress as someone from an abusive household….. my mind.)

and now. we begin The Big Bad Clip. “why didn’t you stop me” by mitski plays over the beginning of jake and al’s london adventure. it’s literally about looking back on the scene as it happens in a montage and al being like “why didn’t you stop me from doing that”..... god.

(also, jake and al go to see waitress, which Has been played before, and it’s foreshadowing for how their relationship ends. jenna and jim’s relationship - the main couple of waitress - begins with them cheating on their parents and falling in love quickly in secret, but they know it’s not healthy for them to keep the relationship going, so agree to end things and part ways as friends who wish nothing but the best for each other.)

and then we get “oops! I did it again” by britney spears glee cast version, because it’s just really Sexy and Fun. also just the mentally ill experience of “oops! i did a manic episode again!”.

and then we cut between a piano version of “last night on earth” by green day, as jake sits alone in the hotel room, and “true trans soul rebel” by against me! as al walks down the streets of london, in a split pov, and then we see al having a full meltdown/breakdown in the middle of victoria station. like al voice in this scene “another night you wish you could forge, / making yourself up as you go along / who’s gonna take you home tonight? / does god bless your transsexual heart?”.

and then we get legit “last night on earth” by green day as jake walks away after ellie yells at him. just because it vibes so much.

episode ten

we open with “mystery of love” by sufjan stevens as jake walks down to al’s house, because it’s just a vibey song, and while i hate cmb//yn with the fury of a thousand suns, it Is a song written for mlm.

and then we get “better alone” by lykke li as jake researches al’s various diagnoses. and it’s just like “nobody wants to be the one to walk away / nobody wants to see the truth, then let it in, run away / nobody wants to know the ways they don't love you right” and then “i’m better alone than lonely”..... mr love

and then we get “let it be” by the beatles, a Very nostalgic old fashioned song with catholic themes and just big comforting and recovery vibes…. jake confessing his real feelings to the priest and then reuniting with christine in the church and hugging her tightly and they both agree on working on getting better….. 

and then we get to the talent show, where we see the end of ellie singing “on my own” from les mis - as jake did at the beginning of season one. is this foreshadowing? is it a coincidence? i honestly don’t know. i just chose it because basic theatre girl song.

AND!!!!! THEN!!!!!! we get the song that acts as al’s suicide note: “the goodbye song” by joe iconis (writer of be more chill and “broadway here i come” from smash). we get the return of the falling motif with “i’m flying away” and the lines that really act as what al imagines to be his final goodbye to everyone he knows, as everyone he knows and loves is in that building: “i'd stay if i could / but the universe won't let me / so please be good / and don't you forget me”, and then al turns the “aahs” at the end of the song from a catchy crowd pleaser ending to a long, painful scream as the audience slowly stops clapping, until the room is silent, and then he bows a la the emcee at the end of cabaret (a bow which is often viewed as a metaphor for the character’s death). it’s literally just al having a breakdown on stage, but he rolls a nat 20 on his performance check, and the audience are like “this is very good performance art”

we then get a flashback to “broadway here i come” because. i am a king of foreshadowing.

and then we get “wait for me” from hadestown (obc version) as jake runs to find al, and it’s about the role reversal of jake running to save al from something worse than al saving him for bryan. it’s about the repetition of “wait for me, i’m coming” because of the fear of “what if i get there too late?”

episode eleven

“a better son/daughter” by rilo kiley plays as jake looks through al’s two tumblr blogs - and the song simultaneously a very al and jake song. with the descriptions of depression and dealing with a mother with mental illness at the start, which are very jake, but then the lines “and sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on / and your friends they sing along and they love you. / but the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap” are just the base character description for al.

and then we get “the archer” by taylor swift as jake goes into the school again…. like he has been the archer and he has been the prey, in regards to being gay (with him helping in outing sandy and being outed himself).....

(also, fun fact about the episode, it was originally written to be from al’s point of view, but then i decided against it and had to rewrite it, which is why there’s only 4 clips instead of the usual 5 or 6)

and then, lgbts, we get “the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us!” by sufjan stevens as jake walks his dogs  out on the beach and al goes to the beach to write his emo poetry…… also, fun fact, al’s poetry is the first time i’ve ever written poetry/lyrics that weren’t about me, which is very fun. 

and then!!!! at the beginning of the final clip, we got “footloose” by kenny loggins, the iconic bop from the film of the same name. just because it slaps and it’s a fun time.

(we also get some Foreshadowing with al referencing rent in this scene)

and then. transgender nation. we get “midnight radio” from hedwig and the angry inch playing over al and jake’s having fun and being dumb kids montage. 

i know riverdale made this song a meme, but it HITS. it’s about the al referencing origin of love in the cuddle clip, al saying “i laugh because i will cry if i don’t”, it’s about the “for the misfits and losers” and the “hold onto each other”. it’s literally about jake finding community and also wholeness and happiness in himself.

(also, jake talking about all the little soulmates and the fact that he believes that the boy and girl squads are all his soulmates in different ways…… and bree actually paying attention and showing some vulnerability at that point because she loves her friends so much!!!!!!!!!!)

season four

tw for discussion of sexual assault/rape, alcohol abuse and abortion throughout

trailer

lgbt community. we begins with the regrettes' cover of "don't stop me now" by queen because a) i think it's fun when women and b) it's about bree's mania that we've already seen throughout the seasons, this time from her perspective, and it's simultaneously a Fun Time and a Foreboding time.

episode one

we open with "hail mary, gentle woman" by the cathedral singers, which is literally just the prayer "hail mary", but a song. i chose this because catholic, women, and church time babey. also because it was always one of my favourite hymns growing up (because, in case you couldn't tell from half of the mains being raised catholic and lowkey fucked up because of it, i was raised catholic)

and then we SMASH CUT to "r u mine?" by arctic monkeys, a sad british teen staple, as we see bree wake up in josh's bed for the first time and take the "walk of shame" to get to church. it's about the "i go crazy 'cause here isn't where i wanna be", introducing the Mental Illness, bree's want to get out of where she's from and go to a good uni, and her literally not wanting to be in some strange guy's bed in one line. am I reading too much into this? hell yeah. but it's my show, so i can read as much as i want!!!! (also "satisfaction feels like a distant memory" is both about her depressive states and josh not being able to make her orgasm <3)

AND THEN!!!!!!!!!! we get "all i really want" by alanis morissette, the beginning of my season 4/jlp parallel hyperfixation. it's about bree kinning frankie healy and "do i stress you out?" being her @ audrey. and just bree voice "it would knock me to the floor if i wasn't there already / if only i could hunt the hunter". it's just a perfect teen angst song and it's perfectly grungy and brianna-y.

AND THEN!!!!! we get "kiwi" by harry styles playing as bree slow mos by herself down the street. it's about the just hot girl energy of the song and also the romanticization of unhealthy behaviour because that's bree, baby!!!! also we get more of the word "crazy" because of bree's internalised ableism, and we also get the chorus of "i'm having your baby, it's none of your business", foreshadowing her unplanned pregnancy done by josh, who we saw in the last scene.

AND THEN!!!!! we get "chandelier" by sia as bree and the girls have a fun party moment, but bree is still Fucked Up mentally by seeing annabell and also men being creepy. it's about the using alcohol and drugs to push away your feelings because you have a lot of trauma and have internalised ableism and have no idea how to get the help you need without being vulnerable, which terrifies you so So much. also we see that bree forgot to take her meds in this scene, which i couldn't explicitly say in the scene because spoilers, but it's a fun thing.

then we get dodie's cover of "when the party's over" by billie eilish because i like the soft piano vibes of it as bree walks home after the party, because we always see bree as "the party girl", but the party's over now and we see her petting her cat, making sure her brother's home safe, taking off all her makeup and pretty clothes, completely non sexualised, and just getting into bed to sleep because she's just So Tired. also it's about bree pretending she's happy on her own, but she's Not, she has a lot of self loathing and deeply loves her friends more than anything. also a bree/rori moment with "call me friend but keep me closer".

episode two

we open with an audition sequence!!!!! because i'm a theatre kid and love a good audition sequence!!!!

we get rori singing "sexy" from mean girls, because it's a very rori show (pink aesthetic, fun female characters, a funny time), and because it's a very maureen from rent song. also rori is just a very funny person and also has a sick high belt in my mind. also it's about her learning to like the way she looks, slowly but surely. it's also a song about changing who you are, which is a very skam brighton theme.

and then we get al singing "vienna" by billy joel, but the shortened version they did in smash, but he also plays the piano like ben platt in the politician because he's a basic white theatre boy. it's also just a beautiful song about growing up and maturing, and also "if you're so smart, then tell me why are you still so afraid?" is a very bree line. 

(also, the part where josh calls milo his "kid cousin" and then bree's like "yeah, milo's the same age as me" but josh ignores it…… creepy!!!!! bad!!!!!! also, side note, milo is canonically genderfluid and uses different pronouns depending on the day, which is why they change throughout the season.)

and then!!!! we get annabell singing "hallelujah" by leonard cohen, which is just a stunning song, we all know this. it's a song about faith and doubt and it's also a parallel to rori's happy go lucky song, which annabell's being slow and sad instead. also they're jewish and gay and lovely. and then the jeff buckley cover plays over the next scene because it's Good.

and then we get "feel it still" by portugal. the man as the girl squad text. it's just a fun song and the line "i'm a rebel just for kicks" is great from brianna "rebel girl by bikini kill" holland.

and then, swiftie nation, we get “new romantics” by taylor swift as bree agrees to go out with josh because she’s being self destructive. like the fact that she says yes to him as the line “we’re all bored / we’re all so tired of everything” plays say it all. and just the whole song is very bree core, as a whole, also it’s a really fucking good song. i am a 1989 (deluxe) stan.

and then we fade away with “vienna” by billy joel because it is such a good song god bless <3

episode three

WE!! OPEN!! WITH!!! “tik tok” by ke$ha because it is genuinely one of the best songs of our generation, and also it’s just a very shopping centre song. i don’t know why but it Is.

AND THEN!!!!!!!!! we get genuinely one of my favourite songs that i’ve been waiting to find the right scene for ever since i first heard it. “dog bite” by stella bridie is just genuinely a stunning song that really Gets bree’s character as a whole, especially the first lines “putting on lipstick in the bathroom at the doctor’s  / i got a party after this blood test”..... the whole Need to be perform feminity whilst doing something as simple as going to the doctor’s as bree draws herself and tries to make herself look perfect because she believes her only self worth comes from her body and just….. the vibes. immaculate.

and then we get “ophelia” by marika hackman, another beautiful song, as we see bree self destructively look through all of the cyber bullying that’s happened to her in the past as a way of emotional self harm. it’s just a genuinely depressing scene with a good song underscoring it.

but then we cut to rori and brianna out for a jog together - because both have issues with their self image, but also because they’re friends and like to do things together - as “it’s nice to have a friend” by taylor swift plays. it is a very homoerotic song, with a lot of childhood friends to lovers vibes, which is kind of what we’re going for here. they are both very deeply sad but also it is nice to have a friend and have someone there for you when you find out the cast list of the musical you auditioned for and you can hug them…….

and then!!!!! we get “...ready for it?” by taylor swift as we get another party sequence because it’s a fucking banger and also brianna is Very reputation as a person, which will be shown with some other taylor songs throughout the season. also it’s kind of a “are you ready for it?” for the Deeply Sad scene that follows the fun party sequence, because this is skam brighton, and i will always write scenes of people being sad outside/after parties.

episode four

we begin with “harlem” by new politics as bree, annabell and dean hang out at the shopping centre and fuck around in clarie’s. it’s about a funky song and about the recurring line of “like you, like me, like everybody else” of the three of them all having their mental illnesses in common and bree simultaneously feeling happy that she can be open about it, and deeply uncomfortable that she has to be open about it.

and then we get “crush on you” by elijah who as bree scrolls through instagram and looks at two pictures - one of annabell and one of rori and nick, and when she likes the picture of rori and nick, she literally taps over nick’s face so that she can just look at rori <3 it’s about the bree being a bicon.

and then we get the theatre club watching rent as a fun time!!!! we get tune up #1 and voicemail #1, just iconic numbers. we get theatre kid supreme al knowing all of the words, cool guy james doing his air guitar, and when the line “let her be a lesbian” is sung, we get annabell cheering and rori awkwardly looking away because she has internalised homophobia.

(side note, one of my favourite aspects of this season is that it’s a subversion of the past three, where we’ve seen sandy, liz and jake deal with their internalised struggles with their sexualities, but with bree and rori, rori’s the one dealing with her sexuality, while bree is in love with her quietly)

AND THEN!!!!! we open clip 5 with the iconic skam verse song “call your girlfriend” by robyn as the girl squad show up at a house party and bree and rori have a homoerotic moment

and then!!!!!!!!!!!! a moment of skamverse wlw solidarity, “blush” by rhiza plays as rori and bree kiss in the bathroom. a) because it’s a good song and b) because the whole “she's just a friend, you know, but sometimes yeah i wanna kiss her, uhm but that's just 'cause she's cute right? that don't make me gay, it's not like i like other girls like i only like her, i mean no, i'm not gay, right?” part is really summing up what rori’s going through in this scene. also the song is just a bree song. 

episode five

WE OPEN WITH!!!!!! an iconic moment, if i may say so myself. an iconic wlw song, “boyfriend” by marika hackman, plays over bree and nick out partying. like it opens with the lyrics: “i've got your boyfriend on my mind / i think he knows you stayed with me last night” and then we get “it's fine 'cause i am just a girl / ‘it doesn't count’”. i mean. come on.

we then get a snippet of “rent” from rent in a rehearsal, with the lines: “how do you leave the past behind / when it keep finding ways to get to your heart” and “how can you connect in an age / where strangers, landlords, lovers / your own blood cells betray / what binds the fabric together / when the raging, shifting winds of change / keep ripping away”, which all really relate to brianna with her trying to bury her past traumas and and how she struggles to connect and also struggles with change - and the reference to fabric in the line when she’s the person who does the costumes for the show.

and then we get “pynk” by janelle monae as bree and annabell go charity shopping together and have a nice time. It’s just a fun wlw song and i like it. also it’s boppy and happy and kind of dreamy to show how their relationship is very on the surface and not as deep as it once was and they’re not really going to get that back so it’s just really awkward. 

AND THEN!!!! we get bree panicking because she’s getting creepy messages from josh so she runs to hang out with the girl squad and works on her drawing of them, focusing on rori as “head over feet” by alanis morissette plays. this is kind of a contrast to “pynk”, with it being a song that uses real instruments as opposed to the more electro feel of “pynk” to represent the two different relationships. also the lyrics “you treat me like i'm a princess / i'm not used to liking that” and “you've already won me over in spite of me / and don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet / and don't be surprised if i love you for all that you are / i couldn't help it / it's all your fault” are just Incredibly rori/brianna.

and then we get “hand solo (acoustic)” by marika hackman as we get a brief scene of bree masturbating to some not very healthy p*rn. i was hesitant to include this scene, out of fear of over-sexualising bree as a bisexual girl of colour, but then i thought i had to include the scene from a non-sexual stand point - to show how bree uses sex, even in her own mind when she’s alone, as a self destructive thing, and to show that masturbation is a normal thing to do, but also it’s a hint that bree’s state is getting a bit more manic than usual, so she’s getting more hypersexual. also for the catholic guilt of her stopping and looking up to see the cross above her bed.

when then get ortopilot’s cover of “basketcase” by green day, which is more of an acoustic version of the song. the song itself is just a Very mental illness song and just has a lot of vibes of guilt with it, and the beat of the song is very quick and manic in itself.

we then get “every breath you take” by the police playing over bree and josh’s Scary text conversation in the fish n chip shop, because it’s a creepy stalker song with Pleasant Music over it, which is kind of the Vibe i was going for with josh. also, the season came out around the same time as skames season 3, and seeing the parallels between josh and miquel, with josh being very emotionally distant and miquel being very emotionally close, but both of them having the same goal in mind and end result was very interesting to me. also both of them being very creepy old guys who should stay away from teenagers <3

but then. oh but then. we get a moment that is genuinely one of my favourites. we get the broadway cast version of “forgiven” by alanis morissette, another one of my favourite songs. i chose the broadway version because i prefer the quieter orchestration and the build up to the chorus instead of going all in on it so quickly. i chose this song because bree does parallel frankie from jlp, yes, but she also parallels mj in the fact that she’s repressing her trauma from being sexually harassed and assaulted by adult men ever since she was a child. and the song itself is very beautiful and bree core, with lyrics such as “my brothers, they never went blind for what they did / but i may as well have / in the name of the father, the skeptic and the son / i have one more stupid question” and “we all had our reasons to be there / we all had a thing or two to learn / we all needed something to cling to / so we did”. we also see bree seeking refuge in a church after being harassed by josh, because religion is the place where she genuinely feels safest, but she also doesn’t feel safe, as a bisexual woman in the catholic church, but she also knows in her heart that she is loved by god. 

episode six

WE! OPEN! WITH! “motion sickness” by ms phoebe bridgers plays as bree wakes up at liz’s house the next morning - a song literally about a shitty older man - and then bree is literally sick in the bathroom, claiming she has food poisoning from the strange fish they got last night because she couldn’t go to their usual place out of fear. but, in reality, this is morning sickness from her pregnancy, because she had sex with josh for the first time 6 weeks prior.

and then we get a scene of bree in a manic state rapidly working on costumes as “my body’s made of crushed little stars” by mitski plays. this scene is directly inspired by me in what i believe to be a manic episode staying up until 5am writing because i thought that if i stopped i would forget everything that i was thinking and never write anything good again. fun times. but also just the fast pace of the song and the very depressing lyrics and the whole “i’m not doing anything” playing over bree doing So Many Things…..

we then get a lot of silence because it’s Emotion Time, but then!!!! we get a moment very pleasing to be, “unprodigal daughter” by alanis morissette playing as bree goes to buy a pregnancy test. the song itself is just one of my favourites, and it’s also about bree kinning ms frankie healy (having a “perfect” white older brother, having an intense relationship with your mother, being artistic and into english, being bisexual and just really cool), but it’s also a song about choice and the singer choosing herself and who she wants to be and having hope for the future and wanting to run away. also the line “i’d invite you but i’m busy being oppressed” once again being used in regards to a young bisexual girl of colour….. genuinely one of my favourite lines ever written. the power it has.

and then. bree finds out she’s pregnant via the tests. and “oh no!” by marina begins to play, because skam brighton is a comedy show, but also skam brighton is a show for depressed british-ish teenagers. bree copes with this Really Fucked News by deciding to go and get wasted because that’s her favourite method of dissociation. also the song is just very bree as a whole, with the wanting to change and the “i'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy” after her making fun of her cousin’s pregnancy in the first episode.

and then we get “bubblegum bitch” also by marina as bree goes out to drink. it’s there to represent how bree is trying to force herself to get into her familiar role of the fun bitchy party girl, but it’s not working because she’s just really fucked, but she’s trying her best.

BIG TW FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT

and then “you are going to hate this” by the frights plays as josh and bree dance together, and we see josh giving her more and more drinks, getting her purposefully drunk as she gives into it, wanting the release being drunk gives her, not realising that he could be doing something bad to her because she’s so distracted by a) the alcohol and b) the fact that she’s fucking pregnant and doesn’t know what to do about it.

and then we get “seventeen” by sharon van etten as josh begins to assault brianna. i first heard this song in sex education, where it played as a group of girls supported their best friend after she was sexually harrassed on the bus, and i wanted to use it here as kind of a parallel to that, but also as a reminder than bree is seventeen years old, a child, and josh knows this, purposefully got her drunk and is assaulting her, because he is a disgusting human being.

episode seven

we open with “interlude iii” by tessa violet, as bree wakes up and leaves josh’s bed again, a parallel to the first clip of the season, but this time we saw the before that presumably happened. it’s just a really pretty song that vibes with the lonely emptiness of the scene.

and then we get “the ballad of mona lisa” by panic! at the disco as bree walks into school. it’s just a really vibey bree song, and the whole “i’d pay to see you frown” line is just about the always masking around people and never showing your real emotions. 

we then get “out tonight” from rent, but the movie version, purely because i just prefer the music production on that version. it just slaps. also, i just used this scene to talk about my love for my interpretation of mimi marquez. she’s just a teenager with a lot of problems who needs proper professional medical help, very much like bree. also, i have always seen “out tonight” as mimi having a manic episode and using the number as a distraction from her actual problems (literally what bree is doing) and i love her. (also the scene of bree watching the scene from the movie and having gay panic is just an Iconic moment)

we then get “funeral” by phoebe bridgers as bree lies in bed, deeply depressed and barely able to move. it’s just about a beautiful and deeply sad song. like all of the lines just vibe really hard with bree and the deep loneliness and emptiness of the song, and the underlying panic really outline bree’s actual emotional state.

and we end with the titular song of the episode, “will i?” from rent. i chose this song because, despite it being very repetitive, it’s always been deeply meaningful to me. and the only lines being “will i lose my dignity / will someone care / will i wake tomorrow / from this nightmare?” playing after bree talked about having to deal with her pregnancy, and following the dream imagery used in funeral, because all of the music Is connected…….. quite genuinely one of my favourite moments, because it’s so understated

episode eight

we begin the music of this episode with “everything i own” by the front bottoms - just a really fucking sad song for a really fucking sad time in bree’s life. with like like “just try to appreciate what you got while you got it” and “sometimes i don't feel like singing / i don't really like these songs / sometimes i don't feel like dancing / dj please, don't turn the beat on / let's keep it quiet, keep me honest, keep me true” just really vibing with her.

and then we get “even my dog” by kathryn gallagher, another one of my personal favourite songs, as bree walks through the hospital. first of all, kathryn gallagher’s character in jagged little pill, bella, does parallel bree quite a lot - being from a poor family, being talented at art, being slut-shamed by her school and dealing with the trauma of being sexually assaulted. the song itself has lyrics describing depression, with lines like “i don’t know how i’m gonna get better / i just know that i’m supposed to / i don’t know how i’m gonna get better / but i’ll tell you i’m good ‘til i believe it too” and “everybody wants me to be happy / everybody wants me to be” and “i can feel it / the life i knew before you / it’s beautiful to be so naive” which i feel just Really fit bree and her situation

then we get a little bit of “musetta’s waltz” played by james, because it’s a rent thing, and rori sings a bit of “over the moon” because it’s a maureen song and i just wanted to include it for a little bit of fun in the hell week

and then. oh and then. we get the funeral scene from rent and “i’ll cover you (reprise)” performed by milo and everyone else. the reason i chose this song is because a) it’s one of the most beautiful and heart wrenching songs in musical theatre canon, and b) i wanted to use the imagery of a funeral to show bree quietly making the decision in her head to go through with the abortion, even though she has many doubts. and the line “a new lease you were, my love / on life” is about the baby bree might have had may be being her ticket to a new life, the way she was for her mother, but bree knows that’s not what she wants and not what she can handle right now. and the moment bree finally break is the climax of the song, the moment death is said out in the open “when your heart has expired”. she hears that, is struck by the reality of what she wants to do, and just runs because it’s a lot for any person, let alone a seventeen year old, to handle.

and then we get the girl squad picking bree off the ground, quite literally, and helping her go to the doctor, all of them together, as “sign of the times” by harry styles played. all of the girls are involved, organising rides and where to go and comforting bree, and al’s staying behind, doing ground control at the rehearsal, because al and bree are siblings and they love each other god damn it. ans the song itself is just. simply epic. and the lines “you look pretty good down here / but you ain't really good” really get to where bree is in regards to her self image and it’s about her finally opening up and accepting help and doing what’s right and good for her, not being self destructive or doing things for someone else.

episode nine

we open with a slowed down piano cover of “knee socks” by the arctic monkeys, simply because i liked the sound of it and it’s a quintessential sad british time, but it’s also about girls being pretty.

and then we get one of my favourite songs from rent being sung by bree, “without you”. it’s a genuinely beautiful song about addiction and the struggles that people can go through with it. the song has a double meaning to bree, as she’s been struggling with her alcohol abuse problems recently and going clean, but the song is also about bree imagining life without her hypothetical child. “but i die / without you” is how bree is seeing it, still thinking she’ll be rejected by her mother, and partially by god, if she goes through with it, but the song goes on. she knows the world will go on without her child, but she’s unsure of how she’s going to be after the child is gone. (we also see james come in and sing too, as he plays roger, but him singing is also a reference to him dealing with his own addiction, as mentioned before in this season, to nicotine).

we then get “you gotta be" by des'ree playing as we go from bree getting herself together after josh gets fired to bree and her mother sitting together and watching ladybird. i wanted ladybird to be playing because it’s a very bree movie, in my opinion, and the “give me a number” scene playing is a really good feel, for me, of what it’s like to be a working class child and feeling the need to pay back your parents, which is something bree also feels immensely. and the song has lyrics such as “challenge what the future holds / try and keep your head up to the sky / lovers, they may cause you tears / go ahead release your fears” and “stand up and be counted / don't be ashamed to cry” and “you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger / you gotta be cool, you gotta be calm / you gotta stay together / all i know, all i know, love will save the day”, which just really vibe with where bree is in this scene, trying to figure out all the things she has to be and can be and the whole thing about standing up is just very bree, because, despite us seeing her insecurities and weaknesses, she’s always been a confident person 

and then we get a scene that i wrote just to make myself cry. bree gets her hair cut by her mother after deeply connecting to her as “slipping through my fingers” by abba plays. it’s a song about a mother watching her daughter grow up and trying to stay close to her despite her always growing and changing, which is how i see audrey. she’s a woman full of love and she will do anything to support her daughter and make her happy, and it took bree until now to see it. and then we see bree’s hair literally slipping through audrey’s fingers, because haircuts are often used as a way to regain control over one’s life, and i’ve used bree’s hair throughout this season as a way to represent her trauma. when she gets morning sickness, she throws up in her hair. josh pulls on her hair when he assaults her. her cutting her hair off is a metaphor for her cutting off her trauma, but then from the hair cutting we transition to:

the abortion clinic, where “soon you’ll get better” by taylor swift and the chicks is playing. a song where a daughter sings to her mother to get better, and we see a mother supporting her daughter as she gets ready to go through surgery. the song itself, though, feels more about bree’s mental health than her physical state. she knows that through this surgery, she will ultimately end up better, but it’s going to take a lot of time.

and then as bree and audrey sit at home, they watch another movie: this time “grease”, representing bree’s desire to get back to her younger, happier self.

and then. we get “wake up” by alanis morrissette as bree gets ready for the rally in support of sexual assault survivors. a song, when used in the jlp musical, is used to talk about how it’s easier to not stand up and speak out against sexual assault. with the line “it’s so much easier not to / and what goes around never comes around to you” being used in regards to the cishet abled white man who will never get back all of the harm he puts out into the world, but we see bree reclaiming the song and her own body, putting on makeup in a way that makes her happy and marching out to the streets as it plays, focusing on her and only her

episode ten

WE OPEN WITH!!!! a moment most pleasing to me - “i did something bad” by taylor swift playing as the girl squad slow mo down the street together, a united front. i chose this song because it’s literally about society saying a woman did something bad, but she doesn’t give a fuck and wishes that she could do it again, which is how bree feels about fucking up a rapist’s life. also, once again, bree rolling a nat 20 on her deception roll as she gets proof of josh having the pictures of her on his phone by pretending to be the manic pixie damsel in distress josh wanted….. and we also get josh using the term “witch hunt”, the same phrase bryan used when he went off on bree, to show that they’re both the same character archetype, but in different flavours (bryan coming in asshole jock and josh coming in adult man incel).

(note: i also wanted to include the girl squad in this scene, because in the og when noora when to go meet nikolai on her own i was just. So Scared for her because she had No One. also, fun fact, i included the fact that the squad call nick “nickolai” as a nickname in season 2 so maybe there would be a theory that he would be nikolai, but i was just playing 4d chess with myself and he’s just a nice guy)

and then we get “seasons of love” from rent, which is, yes, a basic theatre song, but you can’t deny how good it is. and the whole “minute” thing in it lining up with the “minute by minute” iconic skam speech, and we get annabell on the big soloist lines because they’re the person who also heard the “minute by minute” speech before from the same place as bree, because it was said in their group therapy…. and it also parallels “i’ll cover you (reprise)” with them all standing in a line, but this time bree stays because it’s about love and being supported by your friends and not being sure if you’re okay, but knowing there’s always a safe place for you to go where you’re loved.

(also, we get a throwback joke of sandy, once again, being surprised by how strangely sexual all of these musicals are. i love her so so much)

and then!!!!! we end the episode with rori and bree confessing their feelings for each other and kissing for real for the first time, and it ends with “dress” by taylor swift playing. literally just the most homoerotic song, and the whole “i don’t want you like a best friend” line…… they deserve to be in love with each other and i have been building up to them finally admitting it for four seasons. literally the longest slow burn i’ve ever written. 

episode eleven

WE! OPEN! WITH! “watch you sleep” by girl in red, a song i discovered in 2018 and wanted to save for a good moment, and then the whole “do you listen to girl in red” thing exploded, so. (james from derry girls voice) i support wlw, though i myself am not wlw. also it’s just a really sweet song that i like a lot. and we’ve seen bree wake up a lot at the beginning of episodes, and we see her wake up from a nightmare this time, and she calms down instantly when she realises she’s home and with rori…..

and then we get a moment MOST PLEASING to me!!!! we have canon swiftie alistair fletcher streaming “daylight” by taylor swift in the bathroom as bree and rori wait for him to be done. and then they start to dance together to it, with them referencing rent before they start dancing, and rori begins to sing along because rori, as a character, has such “lover” energy. and we get rori singing “i once believed love would be black and white”, which is a reference to her and james’s relationship, with her thinking it would be simple and easy, and then “i once believed love would be burning red”, with her and nick’s quick, passionate relationship “but it’s golden like daylight” and we see her and bree together, calm, best friends who are now lovers, no big dramatics, no fireworks, just two people who care so deeply about each other, holding each other, having seen each other at their worst and still adoring them with every part of their being. and we get the “you’re so pretty”, “no, you”, “no, us” exchange, which is just saying “stop comparing yourself to other girls, just be in love with them and yourself”

and then we get “number one fan” by muna, which is just a really fun boppy song, and just big bree core. with lines like “so i heard the bad news / nobody likes me and i'm gonna die alone / in my bedroom / looking at strangers on my telephone / well, wouldn't you? / wouldn't you like if i believed those words?” is showing her development, going from believing all of the bad shit people say about her, both online and to her face, and standing up for herself and believing in herself

(fun fact, there was originally a clip in this episode where we see bree going to the police about josh, but as i was getting closer to publishing it, i thought “fuck that, i’m not giving them any screentime”, and just gave bree some fun exposition about reporting josh to his school)

so we get “icu” by phoebe bridgers as bree’s walking down the street, just vibing, very happy because she just got her rapist expelled from his university. we get lines like: “and i get this feeling / whenever i feel good / it'll be the last time” which vibes with my perception and bree and her relationship with her mental health, which is currently, in the episode, in a good place because of goos things happening, but she knows that it’s going to come back down eventually, but she’s prepared for it now, she’s not as scared of herself anymore

then we get al’s film of the rehearsal process - which is, once again, him using art and music as a way of expressing his love - as “heroes” by david bowie plays. this is a direct reference to “the perks of being a wallflower”, a very inspiring piece of media to me, writing wise. the film that al makes is just a love letter to being teenagers and making art and noise in a world where people are constantly telling you to shut up.

and then, following two deeply philosophical speeches i wrote at 3am one night, we get the last 15 minutes of act one of a musical because it’s my show!!!!!! and if i want to have a character yell about love and then sing a song i can!!!!!

we begin with “la vie boheme”, the iconic act one closer of rent. quite genuinely, this song has the same meaning here as it does in rent, only with the added layer of “this is the last clip, so we’re just all having a fun happy ending” on it, so i’m just gonna be talking about my favourite fun parts of it.

we got al and bree sharing a laugh as al sings “not to mention, of course / hating dear old mom and dad”; we got al high-fiving jake as he talks about “fruits”, because they’re both gay; we got one of my favourite lines: “to being an us for once instead of a them”; we got milo and bree messing around because i love their friendship; we got bree and nick singing a verse together; we got al making it canon that mark cohen gets pegged with the “mucho masturbation” line; we get rori making eye contact with bree while she kisses another girl, because we love a call your girlfriend reference and we love her character development; we get james finally perfecting “musetta’s waltz”

and then we get “i should tell you”, a song i hated upon first watch of rent, but now i love it so so much. while james and bree are singing it together as roger and mimi, bree is very much dedicating the song to rori, because it’s a song about being scared of starting a relationship but doing it anyway because you’re learning to trust the other person. we also see audrey and patrick in the audience, both so happy and supportive of their children, because i love them so much. i love all of the parents, but audrey is definitely my personal favourite so fa.

and then!!!! we begin “la vie boheme b”, literally one of the biggest bangers of musical theatre history. 

we get rori singing the first fast verse, literally raising a middle finger to the idea of perfection and eating disorders, because while those ideas may be a part of her life, she’s happy to say “fuck you” to them; we get nick voguing to the camera as he sings his fast verse, goofing around like usual; and then we get milo yelling out their verse to the audience, serious, because they genuinely believe in the words they’re saying

then we get the cast all yelling out their lgbt identity in the form of a reclaimed slur. i also changed this part of the show because there’s two terms referring to lesbians in the song and i wanted to a reference just for bisexual people. 

then we begin to shift all focus away from bree and her story, beginning to move onto nick, as he and james dance together as al yells out the title line of the episode: “the opposite of war isn’t peace, it’s creation”. and i decided to edit the closing monologue because i felt that it placed too much focus on roger and mimi’s romance and wanted to end the season with a focus on revolution and positive social change, ending with the line: “the riot goes on and on and on and on…”

and then we end the season with the line “we will now take a short intermission” as nick looks into the camera, because it’s time for a break between seasons babey!

and that’s another well over 10k essay on my music choices!!!!! also, as of writing this, i have officially finished production on skambr season 5!!!! i’m way ahead of schedule, which is really good for me, and the trailer will be coming out in about a month’s time!!!! until then, thank you for reading my infodump <3

#skam brighton #skam brighton spoilers #isaac speaks #tw rape mention

[mittensmorgul]

Paging Mr. Werewolf

We were robbed of the Wayward spinoff, but s15 of Supernatural seems to be connecting the underpinning themes back into the main narrative. Rewatching 13.10 right now, and even from the opening scene, I can’t help but see Chuck’s hands all over the Wayward story and characters, and on s15 in some of the exact same ways. Like Chuck borrowed from an abandoned show, or in-narrative terms, an abandoned universe. The Bad Place. And I can’t help thinking of that world now as one of his abandoned drafts. The connection to that world was Kaia, and Chuck couldn’t quite figure out how to send Darth!Kaia back to her own world, or reunite her with her “dead” half.

But Claire and Kaia both are being mirrored in Eileen in s15, sometimes quite literally and directly. It breaks my heart that Eileen’s salvation has yet another casualty tied to it, in Kaia’s death and stranding in an “underworld” from which it seems there’s no hope of saving her now.

15.05, however, directly connects Wayward to Chuck’s “process” through the otherwise seemingly irrelevant-to-the-larger-narrative cold open to 13.10.

Claire shows up to rescue a kidnapped child from a pair of werewolf brothers (or at least they certainly seem like brothers) in a dilapidated and isolated cabin. The two werewolves bicker like brothers (one “playing with his food” by frightening the girl, the other chastising him for it while seemingly attending to more practical matters).

In 15.05, we know they’re werewolf brothers Chuck used as specifically as “foreshadowing” to show Sam and Dean a parable about themselves, and how Chuck intends their “story” to end. One werewolf brother kills the other. Those werewolves also lived in an isolated cabin together, but it was warm and homey, and they’d isolated themselves intentionally. They didn’t want to eat humans-- or at least one of them didn’t. The other had been humoring his brother, but then confessed that he had no intention to stop feeding on human hearts. And his brother killed him for it, and then killed himself. Because it became clear after both brothers were dead that THEY weren’t the point of this hunt, it was the supposedly innocent victim the brothers had kidnapped that was the actual danger to them.

In 13.10, Claire nearly missed the third werewolf while she was distracted untying their innocent victim, but she had just enough warning by the girl’s reaction that there was another danger in that cabin, and she easily pulls out her hidden gun and kills the third werewolf.

In 15.05, Sam and Dean never saw the true danger coming, Chuck’s “mole” in the story, that thier innocent victim was neither, and was actually Lilith acting directly and without artifice as Chuck’s Plot Device. Her goal was to destroy the one weapon they had against Chuck, and torturing them like a cat playing with a couple of mice was just gravy.

Nobody ever said Chuck was a subtle author.

In this way, though, Eileen is being paralleled to Claire. Claire wanted to hunt alone, to prove herself, to do what she could to save people and hunt things. That’s very much what Eileen had always done before becoming wrapped up in the BMoL nonsense that brought about her original death. Her communication came too late for Sam and Dean to have helped her (they only received her letter asking for sanctuary after she was killed). She’s also paralleled to Claire through Patience and her vision of the future.

Patience gave up everything-- her education, her relationship with her father, her entire life as she knew it-- to go to Jody and warn her about the vision she had of Claire’s death. Patience... is paralleled to Sam in 15.06-15.08, and his “agreement” with Eileen.

CLAIRE: If this is about me hunting alone, I know I should’ve called more, but I’m fine. I’m good! I’m safe. JODY: No, you’re not! Patience had a vision, that’s why she’s here. PATIENCE: I… I saw you die. [We see a flashback of PATIENCE’S vision. It is set in THE BAD PLACE, we see forest, a gigantic claw, a spear piercing a body and an unconscious CLAIRE in JODY’S arms.] JODY: Claire, she’s the real deal. CLAIRE: So every vision you have, it always comes true? PATIENCE: I don’t know. I’m still figuring all this out. CLAIRE: So you might be wrong. JODY: Claire this is serious, I’m trying to protect you! CLAIRE: Jody, that’s always your excuse. Every time we’d go out on a hunt together you’d take care of the monster while I’d just wait in the car. JODY: That happened one time! CLAIRE: It happened every time, Jody! You, you’ve never even seen what I can do. JODY: Claire, if I put the brakes on you it’s because you can’t go dive bombing into every fight… CLAIRE: Yes I can! That’s how you save people. Sitting back and making the perfect plan, losing time, that’s how people end up dead. JODY: And if you end up dead? [Both of them are now standing. JODY is visibly upset.] CLAIRE: I won’t. JODY: Claire, you can’t just run away from this. CLAIRE: Watch me.

Sorry for the length of this snippet, but it’s all there. Well, all except for this bit:

PATIENCE: Those monsters? They’re coming, lots of them. KAIA: They’re after me. CLAIRE: Then we should stay and fight. PATIENCE: There’s too many, they’ll kill us. CLAIRE: Maybe, maybe not. PATIENCE: Look, I gave up a lot to come here. To do what was right, to save you. You want to brush that off? You want to think I’m a fake, fine. But I’m telling you right now we’re all in danger. KAIA: Claire…

Because this is EXACTLY how I have seen Sam’s “visions” in s15. And exactly how I’ve seen his resurrection of Eileen, too. Just as Patience saw her own visions, and accounted for her own actions toward Claire. She gave up a lot to try and save Claire, and Claire... was just... dismissing that sacrifice. By the end of the episode, though, they had “reached an agreement.” Exactly like the agreement Sam and Eileen seem to have reached. Sam wasn’t being “overprotective” of Eileen, he was being reasonably protective based on everything he’d sacrificed to bring her back, and what saving her has become a symbol of to him as a result.

Eileen’s salvation isn’t his descent to the underworld, it was-- like saving Claire was for Patience-- The Illusion of Success. Claire was never the one in danger. It was Kaia all along, but Patience had an “incomplete vision,” that led her to believe that it was Claire in danger. Like Sam’s visions in s15, that seem incomplete, that only show confusing repetition of the theme of him and Dean killing each other over and over in different alternate scenarios of reality. Like Patience did in 13.10, Sam still lacks the complete picture to understand the context of what he’s seeing.

I’m looking forward to Sam’s talk with Chuck in 15.09, where he will finally understand the full context of what they’re actually up against in “Chuck’s story.”

Going back for a moment to The Illusion of Success, I’ve been thinking a lot about the meta @flyingfish1 wrote a while back (I believe the last update was during s12, actually) about The Heroine’s Journey. Because I believe with the re-incorporation of a lot of the Wayward themes into s15 that this is a structure that Supernatural has folded back into the narratives of TFW with a vengeance. For a quick refresher on this type of narrative, here’s a handy recap:

https://mythcreants.com/blog/using-the-heroines-journey/

And for more posts about Supernatural on the subject, starting with that original post I referenced above:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/heroine%27s+journey/chrono

Tell me this isn’t the journey all of TFW in s15, and honestly Chuck’s journey as well? And considering Chuck DIRECTLY painted crosshairs on Jody and Donna in 15.08 (apologies for the formatting, but the official transcript still isn’t posted so I’m working from my personal unfinished version, but this is the relevant bit of dialogue):

DONATELLO/CHUCK: Oh, Donatello's not here any longer. Hey, guys. It's Chuck. Prophets speak the word of God, sometimes indirectly. Sometimes they're my bluetooth. So, here's the thing. Usually, I really love our little... process. I toss something at you guys, and you slam it right back. It's fun, like tennis. With monsters. But this... Let this one go.

Or what?

CHUCK: Or I go all-powerful. Maybe not on you. Not right away. But, let's see, there's... Jody, Donna, Eileen. Pretty much everybody on your speed dial. So drop it. 'Kay?

Please also reference the post I made yesterday about 13.09 for additional reading on the subject of blood and death and monsters, and Chuck’s planned ending:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/189786572395/blood-and-death-and-monsters

The descent to the underworld of The Bad Place, and the descent to the underworld of Purgatory are beginning to look horrifyingly similar, yes?

Hell, and the Cage specifically with Michael’s return from the underworld, is Sam’s trial.

Purgatory and everything it represents from s8 is Dean’s trial.

Which leaves Cas... to confront his own trial, versus the Empty.

We’re going deeper and deeper through the layers here. TFW stood together in Hell, and failed. Dean and Cas will have to stand together in Purgatory (and I suspect they will fail on some level), and then Cas... I’m not going to speculate further outside of gesticulating wildly at what the logical progression of his personal arc must bring him to face.

The main thing I think it’s important to remember is that Chuck has deluded himself into thinking his story is a Hero’s Journey-- fighting the monster and returning victorious, but typically combined with a tragic loss. He’s entirely unaware of the fact that we’re not telling that story-- and HAVEN’T been telling that story-- since Amara was freed from her wrongful imprisonment. The Divine Feminine has returned to the universe to restore the balance, and this is now Her story to tell. If only Chuck will stop meddling in it and trying to make it all about him.

The goal of a Heroine’s Journey is, after all, the reintegration of the masculine and feminine, resulting in Union. The Heroine (male or female) must then fulfill the story by helping others find this balance themselves. And from the linked post about “Using the Heroine’s Journey,” the final step gives me hope that this is where Supernatural will find its ending:

“If it fits your story, this is also the time to discard your duality altogether. The heroine could reveal that it is false, arbitrary, or destructive.”

This seems to be where the narrative is pointing right now, at any rate. I wish I had enough time to address this more fully-- including Billie’s place in the story, as well as Mary’s, Rowena’s, and Amara’s. There’s just so much.

#spn s15 spoilers #spn 15.08 #spn 13.10 #heroine's journey #spiders georg of the tnt loop #s15 meta rewatch #spn 15.05 #spn 15.06 #chuck's process #spn s15 speculation #since there is a tiny bit of that in here but only of the 'if this is the story they're telling then this is the expected ending'